#i love this piece because IVE BEEN WAITING TO USE THIS SONG.

[unagidevi]

You catch my drift dude?

Without text under cut

[nebbyy]

Hi! I'm not sure if you are currently taking requests, so feel free to ignore mine if you aren't! If you are taking them, however, would you please write something for King Baldwin IV overhearing reader sing and falling further in love with her because of her soft and sweet voice? Upon realizing that he's there, she becomes extremely flustered and apologizes for disrupting his peace and quiet. Thank you!

King Baldwin IV x reader - Sweetest of melodies

A/N: omg it’s been so long since I’ve received a request! I can’t lie, Baldwin is my supreme comfort character, I think I’ll never stop writing fro him because it gives me sooo much joy😩😩😩 I personally like to think of this piece as taking place a few months after Baldwin’s and reader’s wedding, so it could be considered a sequel for my first fic ever. Also, the song mentioned in this piece is a real song from the 12th century called "Can vei la lauzeta" (in English,"When I see the lark") by Bernart de Ventadorn, and the painting is "Lovers in a garden" by Charles Edward Perugini!!

Oh btw!! I’m working on a long ass series about him, based off of a prompt by @phantomsghoulette  which I absolutely LOVED. Sooo all the KoH fans stay tuned for future updates🤭

Warning: nothing really, just pure fluff. Maybe you could say that religious innuendos could be something triggering for some people but I don’t know. There might be ONE, SLIGHTLY spicy mention but only if you squint really really hard. Also, keep in mind that the historical accuracy in my fics is rather relative, I try to add some details here and there but I don’t have the knowledge (nor the skills) to write a piece 100% accurate to the real history. Also, reader’s gender is female and uses she/her pronouns!!

Word count: 2918

Someone would say Baldwin's patience could already be put to test by only his illness, which she ruthlessly does not grant him a moment's respite, the eternal enemy of his body and his spirit. But no, to this perpetual torment of his had to be added the perilous duties of a king. And it was certainly not governing his people and lands that sucked what little energy he had left; this duty of his, given by his father and willed by divine design, he had long since embraced.

It was the nobles, the leeches who had drained him of his lifeblood lately. It was their endless demands, the insidious words that hissed behind his back, the languid bows and sleazy gifts designed only to gain some favor from him. Looking around him, he seemed to see only vices and sinners, power-hungry beasts just waiting for his moment of weakness so they could feed on what Baldwin had under his power.

In fact, not without reason in the past the young monarch had attempted to abdicate the throne and leave it in the hands of one of his sisters, rid himself of this burden and devote the rest of his short life taking care of his declining health and to nurture his mind away from so much corruption. At times he dreamed of retiring to France, experiencing for the first time that cold climate and verdant landscape of which his preceptors and advisors told him so much.

In fact, not without reason in the past the young monarch had attempted to abdicate the throne and leave it in the hands of one of his sisters, rid himself of this burden and devote the rest of his short life taking care of his declining health and to nurture his mind away from so much corruption. At times he dreamed of retiring to France, to experience for the first time that cold climate and verdant landscape of which his preceptors and advisors told him so much.

And he dreamed of taking you with him, imagined how sweet his life would be if his only concerns were taking care of his health and you, faithful wife, sole blessing in his life battered by such burdens. How he would wish that his days would revolve around you, that his first thought in the morning would be riding by your side through the flourishing meadows, and his last thought in the evening would be caressing your face as you lie slumbering in his arms.

It would have been a blissful fate his, if only Sybilla's husband had not died at the very moment when he would have needed him most. If only his mother had not convinced him that Guido de Lusignan was a good fit for his sister and had continued to seek a new consort for her, perhaps that fate would not have been snatched from him so early. Too late to repent now, for Baldwin would have preferred to die agonizingly on his throne rather than leave power in the hands of that bumptious and arrogant lord, who was noble only in title.

And so he found himself in this sort of hellish limbo, forced into a position that should never be required of a man in his condition, but prevented by his morality from abandoning his reign, impelled by faith in God's greater plan, that his suffering should not be in vain.

And his faith always seemed to strengthen when he had a way to escape the stifling air that characterized the throne room, always packed with knights and crusaders and nobles, when he had a way to retreat to the palace gardens, one of the few verdant places in all of Jerusalem.

With slow, swaying steps, Baldwin strolled slowly among the local palm trees and flower beds from the faraway lands, those where men speak Italian and the more distant ones, those from which his fathers came. Exotic fruits mingled with those more congenial to the French, who out of nostalgia for their lands and fields did what they could to bring the seeds of these plants with them to overseas.

His mind seemed to go out, shifting his attention from the constant buzz of court demands and duties to the chirping of birds perched on the roof, to the eviction of the soft branches that shielded him from the scorching sun. He enjoyed the refreshing air that reigned in that small oasis of greens, which was able to infiltrate the fabric of his white robes, crossing the bandages that covered much of his body and finally reaching his skin, numbed by leprosy. 

To tell the truth, of that refreshing sensation little reached his damaged nerves, if not for those few points that had been spared by the merciless disease, from which departed that unusual shiver that caused him a delicate smile of relief, enjoying the refreshing breeze. Then he closed his eyes and breathed in, discovering with satisfied surprise that that light gust was also a harbinger of an intoxicating perfume, a mixture of exotic and familiar.

How funny to think of the concept of "exotic", for an Angevin born and raised in the unknown lands of the east. For him it was exotic French fruit, exotic were the green plains and heavy clothing that brought his allies from the northwest, and equally alien to the snowy mountains and forest beasts that he saw drawn in detail in his childhood books. It was these changes of perspective that stimulated his mind in a myriad of thoughts and reflections, but in a pleasurable way for him, not as exhausting as his daily duties.

His reflections on exotic and local made his mind travel, wandering until he came to a subject very close to him: Muslims and Jews, reflecting well on the landscape in front of him, recognized that he could share with them the same concepts of what is foreign and what they can claim the original belonging. And he could not but reflect on how it must have been for the first inhabitants of Jerusalem to observe the Franks who came as conquerors, and filled their gardens with such foreign plants as those pale warriors who had taken possession of their dwelling... But after all, the French soldiers who were emissaries of God’s will needed something familiar to stabilize them as they fought to reclaim the Promised Land, ut Deus voluit.

But all his brooding over these matters of conquest and submission ended up in the background in his mind, when a colorful scarlet sphere caught his attention. An exquisitely red apple seemed to tempt him from a branch just above his head, beckoning him to be picked and savored by the king, that he might lose himself in the juicy sweetness of that fruit with origins so far removed from the Holy Land. But the king's modesty prevented him from yielding to that temptation, wanting to avoid exposing the advanced state of deterioration in which his mouth was.

And in fact if that temptation had been alive it would have pale in front of something much more captivating, a sound that echoed in the most melodious distance of the song of any nightingale. Baldwin was surprised to think that he had not realized before the melody that inibriated the atmosphere around him, so taken by the tribulations of his mind that he almost missed such an intoxicating song. He did not know what he felt once he arrived in Heaven, if he had ever arrived in spite of the unjust fate in Hell that the evil Saracens wished him. He didn’t know it, but if one ever had to imagine what Heaven sounded like, that song would come to mind.

When I see the lark beating 

Its wings in joy against the rays of the sun 

That it forgets itself and lets itself fall 

Because of the sweetness that comes to its heart

She sang in Occitan, the beautiful one in the distance. The voice of his people, of his lineage, that few in the palace can pronounce after so many years of distance from their homeland in Provence. Paying more attention to the echoing song, he would not even have had to approach it to give a face to that melodic voice: he knew how to recognize his wife’s voice.

Yet it was a new context in which he saw you, new facets of you that he had not yet had a chance to observe. Your voice, sweet as honey, venerable like all your other traits, he had never heard it except in speech, when you were proclaiming orders before your subjects with the authority fit for a queen, or when you laughed at the poems and performances of the court singers, or when you whispered in Baldwin’s ears sweet words, while you lay with bodies merged between the soft silk sheets. Always spoken, but never sung.

Alas! Such great envy then overwhelms me 

Of all those whom I see rejoicing,

But though he didn’t need to approach you to recognize you, the desire to see your face exceeded any of his other needs. As if mesmerized by the sound of a siren, Baldwin was advancing towards you, with steps so slow that it seemed a hunter about to catch a deer in the woods. He wanted nothing more than to hear you sing again, that you continue to bless him with that angelic melody. What worse sin would there be than to interrupt your song, more sacred than a prayer?

His stomach filled with butterflies and turned upside down like the beasts' jugglers, his breath seemed to stop in his throat, depriving him of the breath he no longer needed, as long as he could hear you sing a moment more. And her cheeks warmed, when finally she saw you among the white lilies, more beautiful than divine salvation.

I wonder that my heart, at that moment, 

Does not melt from desire.

Baldwin wondered if you sang with him in mind, if those words of love reflected your own emotional turmoil. 

Oh, if only it were so, and your singing equalled his own words inscribed in the sonnets and poems he composed in your honor, which he himself commissioned from your favorite singers to perform at banquets, only to steal an embarrassed smile and to see the blush of your cheeks, along with the glint in your eyes.

Whether it was or not, the outcome remained the same since he was at that moment in your proximity, in the same state mixed with adoration, love and wonder at the bold gesture. But if only he had confirmation from your words...

Alas! How much I thought I knew 

About love, and how little I know, 

Because I cannot keep myself from loving 

The one from whom I will gain nothing.

"My angel, your voice sounds like heaven but your words are false." Baldwin practically saw you blow up from your session, completely taken aback by his sudden appearance, unaware that your husband has been acting as a secret public all this time. Your initial surprise quickly turns into a laugh to mask your embarrassment for being caught in a moment like this, when you thought you were alone to be able to run the streets of music with your voice.

"I beg your pardon, I thought I was alone in the gardens," your eyes met his own only for a moment, before you turned your face to try and hide the blush of your face, "it was just a silly song I heard singing to the Provençal knights. I hope I did not disrupt your walk, my love..”

He laughed softly, trying to hide his amusement from having caught you off guard. He approached you more quickly than when he did just a few moments before, but with the same phlegm that managed to inspire a feeling of safeness in you. Sitting by your side on the bare rock, he raised his bandaged hand to gently cup your face and make you turn your eyes towards him. It was only then, when you had no choice but to look at Baldwin in the face that you noticed how his eyes, the only part of his face exposed to the outside world, formed two half-moons, and you came to find that it was because of how widely he was smiling, as you lowered the veil from his face. 

He was making fun of you, you realized. With that swagger in his manner, you understood that his amusement came from your embarrassment at that silly misunderstanding. Laughing softly, he gently shook his head before bringing both hands to your face, holding it as if it were the most sacred of relics. "As much as I would love to hear you sing of your affection for me, just to hear your voice echoing in the air is the sweetest of gifts. How could you deprive me of this blessing thus far, my dear?"

You could do nothing but giggle at his sweet words, bringing your hands to his wrists to feel him closer to you. "You flatter me, my king. My voice boasts nothing more than those sweet melodies that the singers in the palace sing. Mine is only a dabble."

His gaze softened, his playful spirit addicted to your presence. He took the floor again, in a tone as soft as cotton, "At least this once, my queen, allow me to disagree with your words. My life may be short and my reality small, but never have I heard such an angelic voice, singing such sweet melodies. And God may not yet have granted me the ability to predict the future, but in my heart I know well that never will any singer be able to hold a candle to your beautiful voice, never will any song be able to express the same feeling of ecstasy.

"You, my angel, have managed to make a simple ballad an absolute work of art through your voice. I think I should take you with me into battle next time, for with your mere voice you could addict Saladin and his entire army.

"And seeing you here, angelic and perfect like the lilies that surround you, singing so softly that it would make any bird jealous, that I realize that whatever toil, whatever challenges God has stored up for me, and all those that still await me in my life, are worth it, if at the end of each of them there is you, voice of an angel, to hold a place for me in your arms of heaven." 

You were sure you were on the verge of crying a flood of tears, the result of pure emotion at his sweet words. It was not new to you that Baldwin worshipped you as much as the God to whom his kingdom was consecrated, from the first moment he got to hear your voice and admire your face, and you knew at once that he had become yours, body and soul. But it was new to you to see him like that, completely entranced by your simple being-it was something new. A wonderful newness that made you feel like the most desired of women on this earth.

Taken by a rush of boldness, you practically jumped into his arms, wrapping your arms around his neck; you ended up on top of him, with his hands around your hips. You both laughed, like two little boys frolicking in the gardens. And you left a kiss on his left cheek, then on the bridge of his nose. A kiss again on his forehead, and then down on the side of his lips. When you were about to give him another kiss, just where he most yearned for your lips, against his, you stopped a few inches away, with a wide smile, before speaking again, "If so little is enough to make your happiness, then I will sing to you every day, whenever you ask. Let me be your nightingale, your morning song and your lullaby all at once!"

"I couldn't wish for anything else, my dear. Now, however, I beg you, sing one more melody for me, before my duties drag me back to the palace, and I shall consider myself a blessed man."

"With great pleasure, my love." Your voice was now little more than a whisper. With a languid movement, Baldwin moved his body to rest his head on your lap, and you eagerly greeted him. After slightly moving the hood that veiled his head, so that you could play with his golden locks, you began to sing a new melody, one that this time spoke of reciprocated love, of the joy of being able to hold your loved one in your arms. But the words you sang barely reached Baldwin before his sky-colored eyes closed softly, his mind giving him at least a moment's despite from his perilous life. You continued to sing, caressing his face, which from day to day appeared more and more mutilated by his disease, singing the sweetest of melodies so as to prolong this idyll in which you and your husband found yourselves in. 

For with you Baldwin had a way of putting the crown aside, and being nothing more than a foolish young man in love, whose only duty was to love you, to love you with all the love that an angel like you deserved.

@sweetworkoffiction hope you like it <3

[luvhughes43]

true love | luca fantilli

[luvhughes43 masterlist🌷]

request: An insta edit of Luca and reader spending the summer together with all their umich friends?

note: im gonna use this as a little side piece of the fic you are in love

ynuser

liked by luca.fantilli, adamfantilli, bestie, and 2 301 others

ynuser starting summer off with my fav people😎💗

tagged: luca.fantilli, adamfantilli, and others

view all comments

bestie YOURE STUNINNGGG🤤❤️

luca.fantilli summers looking good😎☀️

bestie2 i think you should marry me actually

ynuser okayy🤭🤭

gwen having the time of my life with you💗💗

ynuser my fav roomie🫶 ily

user01 is he .. flirting?

user02 wait who's yn ?

user03 his best friend! i doubt hes flirting lol they're always like this

user04 LUCA OMG

user05 forget luca look at adam..

user06 ohh to be spending the summer with hot hockey players and your friends...

luca.fantilli

liked by ynuser, seamuscasey26, dylanduke25, and 9 704 others

luca.fantilli summer wrap up🔥

tagged: ynuser, and others

view all comments

ynuser u took a pic of me reading? 😭

luca.fantilli its for the aesthetics✨

jacob_truscott20 ok silly goose where's my aesthetic pics

edwards.73 🔥🔥🔥

ynuser a few familiar faces...

user07 SHE KNOWS

user08 knows what ?

user09 the pics are 50% hers lol he def has a crush on her

user10 yn is in these pictures a lot for somebody who's just a friend...

user11 every other picture is her... ohh hes so down bad

user12 THE ICE CREAM PIC???? ohhh i just fell to my knees... they'll 100% start dating by the end of the summer

user13 yn is gorgeous omfg i hope they date fr

user14 nope hes gonna date me!

user15 hes never going to choose you babe!

umich.girl.blog

liked by iamlukesgirlfriend43, and 237 others

umich.girl.blog rumour is that luca fantilli and yn ln are dating! ive gotten a few dms and all i can confirm right now is that they are close and theres definitely someee sort of fling going on.

view all comments

user16 okay.... he may have a gf! good for them

user17 i hope they're dating fr like the best friend -> lovers pipeline is crazy

user18 shes y/n in real life

user19 what are your sources? that he posts her a lot? because this is normal for him lmaoo theyre super close

user20 exactly! theyre in love!

user19 well no...

user21 the pic of them?? theyre soo😭😭

user22 drama accs are soo lame... like just enjoy the sport people!😒

a few years later...

luca.fantilli reposts

ynuser

liked by luca.fantilli, adamfantilli, gwen, and 1 205 others

ynuser you are in love🎶

tagged: luca.fantilli

view all comments

luca.fantilli took a few years but this is our song❤️

ynuser love you🫂💗

adamfantilli took u two long enough...

luca.fantilli frrrrr

gwen FINALLY!!!!!!

gwen been waiting since freshman year🙏

bestie my fav couple

ynuser 🫶🫶

user23 came to her acc because luca hasn't posted in awhile and i was curious and... im crying im so happy theyre finally together!

user24 cutiesss

user25 legit still remember all the theories that the two of u were dating back when we were still in school

ynuser some of them were crazyy😭😭

user26 my lifes been made

user27 ohh i love them so bad i really won!

-

-

-

[ilyconnie]

hi bae !! i was wondering if i could request some eren hcs - being his s/o

so happy to hear yur gonna start writing again !!

THANK YU AND I LOVE YU SMM

being eren's s/o <3

eren x blk!reader (but honestly anyone can read)

hii i love you more <33 ,, i hope you enjoy !!

i feel like being eren's s/o would just consist of you coming along for his endless adventures and having him constantly showing up at your place "hey mama what are you doing today? wanna come somewhere with me?" LIKEEEE yes. yes i do.

eren is a musically inclined man in my eyes, he knows how to play guitar, the piano, and even the drums. he has a bunch of instruments in his apartment that you stay over at frequently.

he's always "oh my gosh, let me show you this little piece ive been working on." "baby can you listen to this real quick, does it sound okay?" "you wanna learn this song? ill teach you if you want?" super super cute

he's always getting little moments when he see's things he think you might like. he feels super good when you use things he buys for you. one time, he got you a super pretty marble guitar pick with your favorite colors, and even painted the both of your initials on it so whenever you come over to play the guitars he makes sure you use YOUR guitar pick.

he's def a acts of service man, don't complain about ANYTHING EVER around him unless you want the problem fixed immediately. one time you complained about your air conditioning wasn't working, so he came over during one of your shifts and fixed it himself. yeah it's missing a few screws now.. BUT IT WORKS so he feels accomplished regardless.

he constantly is coming to pick you up from places and offering to feed you after work, you're his top priority besides himself and his career, so he's got to make sure you know it too. he wants to make sure you feel secure and safe with and without him, knowing that he would go to the ends of the earth for you if it came to it.

no because he's a pda loverrrr omg this man has to let everyone and their mom know that you're together. from the way he holds onto you everywhere you go, to the constant kisses on the cheek, forehead, hand, nose, arm.. anywhere appropriate for outside practically, he's just a big needy loving baby honestly.

he loves to touch at least in same way, even if its small. he likes to hold your hand while waiting in lines, links your arms while you guys walk, he hugs you from behind constantly, he even traces the features and curves of your face while you guys cuddle facing each other.

but even as cute as he is, he's just as annoying.. yk how he walks with your arms linked? he gets upset with you when you step out of step with him HAHAH he'll stop where he is jerking you back with him, "what?" "you're out of step..here let's start again". and don't let it happen too many times back to back, he'll start saying the foot you should be stepping on out loud for everyone and their mom to hear. "baby it's not that hard.. LEFT, RIGHT, LEFT, RI-" "eren shut up! people are staring!" "they wouldn't be if you could just step on the right foot."

@ilyconnie 2023 <3

[ashwhowrites]

HI! IVE BEEN WAITING FOR YOUR REQUESTS TO OPEN!

Can we please get a song fic with "dial drunk" by Noah kahan??? Definitely gotta be a sad ending. I was thinking either Eddie or Steve, but you can pick! Thank you so much!

(I'd give you a kiss, but I've seen SB get jealous over less 🤭)

Jealous SB is one of my favorite versions of SB

Never proofread

I’m rememberin’ I promised to forget you now But it’s rainin’ and I’m callin’ drunk And my medicine is drowning your perspective out So I ain’t taking any fault Am I honest still? Am I half the man I used to be? I doubt it, forget about it, whatever It’s all the same anyways

Breakups were easy for Eddie because he never bothered to fall in love. He'd get into a relationship, hold himself from falling in love, and get over the girl a week after the breakup.

But now he's on month two of his breakup with Y/N and it hasn't gotten easier. She was the first girl that showed him what falling in love felt like. And she showed him how painful falling in love was.

Everything he touched, he ruined, and she was another thing he shattered. He held her heart in his hands and kept it safe for years and years. He took that heart with him to the bar and held it close while he got drunk, feeling the beating of her heart when he kissed someone new. Leaving her heart on the shelf while he felt the inside of another girl, not noticing the damage the heart would take.

Until the morning when he woke up with a girl that wasn't her, the heart burned when he touched it, glazed over with betrayal. He returned the heart to her with guilt in his eyes, and apologies were on his tongue. It wasn't enough. Her heart was in pieces, and she took every piece back.

Eddie promised himself he'd get over her, he vowed to forget about her in weeks, just like every other girl. But the rain was pouring as he drove to the bar, the same bar where he lost half of himself.

I ain’t proud of all the punches that I’ve thrown In the name of someone I no longer know For the shame of being young, drunk, and alone

Eddie lost count of how many drinks burned down his throat, but he was aware of how many times the guy next to him commented on the picture of Y/N. He took it out to stare at her, slamming the liquor down as he looked at the girl he missed.

His pity party was cut short when he heard the sexual comments the guy next to him had to say.

19....20....21..by the time the guy got to his 22nd comment, Eddie was yanking him off the bar stool. Shoving the man to the ground and trying to heal with every punch he landed.

I don’t like that, when they threw me in the car I gave your name as my emergency phone call Honey, it rang and rang, even the cops thought you were wrong for hanging up I dial drunk, I’ll die a drunk, I’ll die for you

Eddie heard the commotion all around him, but all he could focus on was releasing the anger, sadness, and regret that had built up in him. He heard sirens, and he felt hands grabbing him. His body was being slammed down with his cheek pressed into the sticky floorboards. His hands were yanked behind his back, feeling cold metal on his wrists as they were cuffed together.

He ended up in the backseat of a cop car, one place he vowed to never be in. But here he was, drunk, alone, and arrested. Just like his father.

When he arrived at the station, the cops asked for the number for his emergency call, and he gave her number. Eddie had no one in his life, she was the very last person, and she didn't want to be.

He listened to the call ring and ring. His heart raced the longer it rang; no trace of life on the other line.

The cop looked sadly over at him, a sense of pity in his eyes as Eddie heard the phone die out. He shouldn't be surprised that she didn't answer. This wasn't the first, or even the tenth, time he called her wasted off of his ass. She never picked up, and he hated that he wished for the outcome to be different every time.

I’ll rot with all the burnouts in the cell I’ll change my faith, I’ll kiss the badge Just wait, I swear she’ll call me back Son, why do you do this to yourself?

The cop was getting ready to move him to a cell, but Eddie pleaded just to have another minute. He'd do anything for another minute just to have a gamble to hear her voice again.

He'd rot away with the other burnouts in a cell. He'll change his views, believe in new fates, and discover a new god.

"Please, sir, just wait. I know she'll call back." Eddie pleaded

The cop didn't seem convinced, the pity look taking over his face as he watched Eddie almost in tears.

"Son, why do you do this to yourself?"

"Because I know she will call back."

It was a lie Eddie would continue to tell himself.

Because in the end

I dial drunk, I’ll die a drunk, I’d die for you

tags!

@bmunson86 @mxcheese @ladymunson @michaelfuckinglangdon @z0mbie-blah @biittersweet @mirrorsstuff @somethingvicked @micheledawn1975 @ago-godance @magnificantmermaid @tlclick73 @hargrovesswifee @cityofidek @manyfandomsfanvergent @silky-luxe @lokiofasgard616 @loving-and-dreaming @eddiemunsonsbitch69 @thegemaqua @ashlynnkennedy @strangerthingsstories5255 @harringt8ns @pleasinghellfire @whoscamila @stusdollface93

[witchofthemidlands]

witchofthemidlands thoughts on “the devil's chord”

i know i KNOW maestro is bad but jinx monsoon, you scary legend, can you stay in the whoniverse forever 🎶😍🎶

✨ this is my personal opinion, media is subjective you might not agree with my opinions & that's just fine✨

i love that we’ve got an episode focused on music, my headphones are an anxiety ridden day away from being surgically attached to my soul. music is soothing, is it is my peace & doctor who has such beautiful music from the gorgeous theme tune to stunning pieces of music like: “songs of captivity & freedom”, “love don't roam” “turn left”, “who are you?”, “clara’s diner”, “my angel put the devil in me”, “the long song”, “the lone dalek”, “martha triumphant”, “the greatest story never told”, “this is gallifrey”, “the doctor forever” to “the goblin song” & scene stealing music choices like “tainted love”, “toxic”, “voodoo child”, “chances”, “rise up” & “spice up your life” doctor who is full to the brim of the most emotive & captivating tunes that i thank that it is fantastic that it’s the focus of an episode of my favourite show of all time.

this might just be me but the opening… it's giving rocketman.

MAESTRO 😍 the costume is everything this is one of the best introductions to a whoniverse villain i’ve seen in ages.

HENRY HARBINGER 😂 why i laughed so hard at that one i don't know.

is it just me or is maestro giving ✨winifred sanderson✨

ahh! ☹️ no continuation from the carla & cherry ending ☹️

fifteen, that red shirt is beautiful 🤩

“IVE GOT WIGS GALORE” oh 🥹 he's so happy! this is so lovely to see a version of the doctor just being so joyful, they're having the best time with their new friend & it’s incredible. i love them both so much, i love them going to pick outfits together (headcanon that they do each other's makeup)

pictures of this episode have been around ages but they look immaculate.

ruby being so joyful & having the best time is so lovely to see (the happiness is not going to last so i am clinging onto these moments like a space baby clinging to ruby 😭😩😭)

i still think it’s so odd that the beatles are characters 😅

honestly i know it’s meant to be bad but that would probably be up there with one of my favourite beatles songs if it were real.

am i cracking up or is that the same lady who was talking to isaac newton in wild blue yonder? 😬 is she the new “bad wolf” / “saxon” 😬

the spoon falling past the salt 👀 fourtenth fucked around & fifteen’s finding out 😭

SUSAN MENTION?!!! A SUSAN MENTION. A SUSAN FOREMAN MENTION? nah, nah because a friend of mine will hopefully back me up on this. i was literally saying hours before “the devil's chord” aired that i wished that there had been a new who update on susan because i'd always assumed that she might have chosen not to regenerate after living a long life with david or had gone back to fight & died in the early days of the time war. i now have a canon update on susan so be careful what you wish for i guess 😅

i am even more convinced that mrs. flood might turn out to be susan now.

ruby wrote music to her friend trudy when a girl broke her heart 🥺 ruby sweetheart i love you 🥺

THE GIGGLE 😨 i will admit from when i first saw a picture of maestro & they brought up the legions in the specials that maestro would be a part of it or even the one who waits but i got near taken out when the doctor said THE PANTHEON. ARE THEY GOING TO MAKE THE PANTHEON OF DISCORD THE LEGIONS?!?? THE WAY I LOST MY ENTIRE MIND THE SECOND THE WORD PANTHEON WAS SAID IT DID SOMETHING TO ME PHYSICALLY.

possibly the most useful sonic in the doctor's history. i really hope they make a replica of this, it looks like it would be an incredible fidget accessory.

“the world did not end in 1963” oh nooo love 😭 this is not going to end well 😬

ruby mentioning beyoncé & sam fender, i know she's in a band & seems to be musical but ruby OFFICIALLY has taste. the sam fender name drop especially near took me out because his music is just otherworldly, i love his music so much 🤩

OHH THE APOCALYPSE LANDSCAPE AHHH THIS IS GIVING ME FLASHBACKS TO THAT ONE ELEVEN & AMY GAME I HAD AN UNHOLY ADDICTION TO AS A CHILD.

honestly doctor who hits harder than crack.

😭 “where's my mum?” 😭 i wanted to hug MY mum after sweet ruby said this 😭

MAESTRO THOSE SHOES 😍

i feel like if the toymaker & maestro were in the same room it would rival the cinematic masterpiece that is the great dalek & cybermen roast of doomsday.

the doctor kissing the tardis, never change you beautiful person.

“playing lovesick songs for heartbroken lesbians” a) ruby, i may require your services one day & b) IS THIS THE FIRST TIME THEY'VE ACTUALLY USED THE WORD LESBIAN ON DOCTOR WHO?!?! 🥹 this lesbian salutes this episode!

the aesthetic of maestro's notes is everything to me it may be deadly but so aesthetically pleasing. they are a work of art, the notes & maestro 😍

👀 alien ruby alien ruby alien ruby 👀perhaps even one of the legion 👀😬👀

yessss! doctor who epic musical battle

“i have lived & i have loved” 😭 every time fifteen says something like this, it goes to the very core of me, how ncuti delivers the full range of emotions as the doctor is just incredible, he is incredible. he's officially in my top favourite versions of the doctors (he was already but this, this makes it forever)

the dog song is going to save the day.

the dog song, did not in fact save the day, but eh at least it worked (maestro don't goooo 😭😩😭)

what if the one who waits is the trickster? my clown hat went on the SECOND the doctor mentioned the pantheon & the trickster is always waiting for a way to breakthrough to the main universe, it is also one the most terrifying villains rtd has ever created & was somehow one of the main antagonists of a children’s show, if you're reading this & are not familiar with “the sarah jane adventures” this thing is scarier than some of the really intense doctor who villains, the trickster is no joke. i have always thought it would be incredible to have the trickster in doctor who because whilst they pushed it as far as they could on “the sarah jane adventures” i think that they could make the trickster one of the scariest creatures to exist in the whoniverse on doctor who.

A MUSICAL NUMBER?!! brilliant 😂

THERE'S ALWAYS A TWIST AT THE ENDDDDDDD 💃🏻

THE DOCTOR LOOKS SO HAPPY 🥹

MURRAY GOLD?!? (where’s the series 10 soundtrack, king 😭)

harbinger 😬

the dancing on abbey road in the brought such a smile to my face ahh i love them so much 😊🥰😊

THE TARDIS HAS THE LAST NOTES 🥹

FANTASTIC 🤩 BONKERS 🤩 AHHHHH my brain just can't comprehend this one, it's just happy explosions of pure whoniverse joy in there.

jinx monsoon has played one of the best villains i have seen on doctor who in ages, what a performance, what an outfit (maestro i want your silver shoes from the apocalypse) it would be bad but selfishly i want them back.

am now wondering if “ruby sunday” may end up being something to do with the trickster, yes, i know that would be repeating history because of sky but those stories were never actually made so perhaps they're recycling the idea? would not be the first time that this is happened, that balls to the wall masterpiece of a show that is wizards vs aliens got some of the planned “the sarah jane adventures” stories after all.

this season has got off to such a good start, i can't wait to see what’s next, “the devil’s chord” was brilliant, it really wasn't what i was expecting & i love it, better than all my expectations, i will watch this one for years to come with either the biggest smile on my face or 😬 depending on what happens to ruby 😭

next week is… the return of moffat 😬 i will be fair, i promise to watch the episode with an open mind & judge it purely on how the episode is as it presents itself without any underlying negativity just because of the writer. i say this because i might need to be reminded of this when i come back to talk about “boom” because i am still upset about what happened to bill. yes, moffat has written some incredible episodes of doctor who, some fantastic stories, i'm not for one second saying that he hasn't but the last time i watched something moffat wrote i unleashed hell into an essay for my degree because he ruined my favourite characters from my second favourite book in the world.

[mgentamn]

some of my favorite albums and my favorite song from each

Diamond land by Toninho Horta (1988): waiting for angela. the most beautiful song. Quite interesting since my favorites used to be raul and pilar which are more upbeat. Something about waiting for angela and its sentiment just really means something to me. My dad told me that it was a song he'd written for his wife, presumably named angela and omg i think I'd just die and melt if someone wrote a beautiful song like that in my honor. Anyways literally everything about that album is heaven on my

Tighten the rains by puzzle (2017): this album really stole the show for puzzle in my opinion. If you were to only listen to 1 puzzle album, this is the one. Everything about it is perfect and my favorite song would have to be sigh. I'd be lying, although it wasn't supposed to make the cut comes so close to firsr place but sigh still wins. The lyrics are so amazing i just love it. I feel like that album is the core of puzzle. 'But it's not my business. Got a new job wishing i was working for your business."

Birth of a new day by 2814 (2015): this album is literally golden in my eyes. Every song is amazing and so necessary. All the titles hit the spot and ive been enjoying this piece since 2018. Recovery as the opening track is literally genius because in my interpretation, recovery is the subject and then every other track counters it by showing what is going on while in that Recovery. Well for me This album means just that. to me this album sounds like recovery and i always find my way back too it and oddly enough when i am in some sort of recovery. Anyways with all that said, my favorite track off of it is 遠くの愛好家 (distant lovers). Something about the way it fades in and fades back out, and the way its just as charming the entire way through, and the way that it just fades through its perfection. My most favorite album and i love recovery equally. It just resonates so much.

[imagine-that-100]

babe. the nriacc endings. my heart. i am so unwell. i absolutely ADORED both of them. can i just say thank you for writing this masterpiece of a fic. ive read way too many fics at this point and nriacc is without a doubt the best one ive ever read and my absolute favorite. the entire thing is phenomenally written and i truly am unable to express how much i love every bit of it. these two bands have basically been my personality for the longest time and the fact that this fic blends the worlds of my two absolute favorite bands is complete perfection. every single song refrence was spot on and so well incorporated that there were many many times i found myself gasping or squealing. the story building and plot? so amazingly written. oh my god and the nicknames? i never imagined myself liking nicknames or petnames until i read this fic. my favorite part though is the relationships written throughout. not just between matty and alex, but between all the other boys in both bands - it makes me beyond happy that they got their well deserved attention. you did everyone so much justice. so well done. i absolutely love alex and wheels, and their ending is perfection; but i have been team matty since he walked in on wheels changing and i must say- that ending is my lifeline. the references to bfiafl? holy shit. i actually squealed when i read the about you line. and the end of the ending? oh my god i was sobbing by the end. this fic has meant so much to me and i just want to say thank you and CONGRATULATIONS. you did it!! you made it to the end and it is absolutely amazing. on that same note- i am also 10000000% team george first and foremost bc george and wheels are iconic and i will patiently be waiting for his ending, i just know youll do him justice. (this is by no means any pressure to do it bc you definitely dont have to i am very content with what you have given us) anyway that was a lot but THANK YOU for writing this magnificent piece of art. mwah mwah <3 im sending endless love your way! xoxo-k

Ahhhhhhh I’m so so thrilled you enjoyed the endings!!! Bless you🥹🥹🥹 thank you for reading my rollercoaster of a fic! Also bless you so much, NRIACC is definitely my favourite that I’ve written because like you say the bands are practically my personality too😂 yessss their nicknames are one of my favourite parts of it too!!! I’m so sorry for making you cry, if it’s any consolation I was crying writing all those points too😂 thank you so so so much!! Thank you for reading and giving your reactions they mean the world to me🥹 yassssss big up team george I can’t wait to write his ending! Thank you again for reading, I’m so thrilled you’ve enjoyed it all, sending you lots of love 🥹🥹🥹💜💜💜

[nerosdayinanime]

I know I wasn't the person that originally asked about Giyuucore songs but that post caught my interest because you mentioned a lot of songs and some of my favorites👀

I'd really like to hear your thoughts on Gilded Lily! I've seen it taken in a couple different contexts online but idk anyone that listens to it. After Dark is another banger but I never considered thinking of it as Giyuucore. the same thing with Little Dark Age talk about blorbo, think about blorbo :)

also I listened to The Mute and The Missing Road for the tag you left on my one drabble and 😭 i see it so clearly with how so socially awkward little blorbo is

usually i think of my music taste as mainstream but not like. Popular mainstream yk? usually at least, since i started only really using spotify it kinda just Sticks with popular... (i just think the music i listen to its pretty all over the place) anyway-

Gilded Lily got me from the chorus haven't i given enough? giyuu gives his all yet still all the shit that happens to him and the people he loves... with him in mind the lyric reads as more a polite way of asking higher powers 'havent you taken enough from me?' yk?

always the fool with the slowest heart hes always behind his peers and misunderstood, negative feedback loop of hiding further in himself and straying further behind

but i know youll take me with you when he loves he gives a piece of himself, so when they're lost they take a piece of him with them i know ill take you with me the haori he so dearly cares for

we'll live in spaces between walls how ghosts are respected as existing in a third place, the border between life and death- how giyuu does something similar, as close as a ghost you can get without death- hes treats himself the same as the ghosts that haunt him

last lyric for gilded lily is manga spoliers and iirc youre an anime-only, so ill keep that one under wraps lmao

-------

After Dark is all dreams and broken memories, the echo-y voice and faraway sound of the piano all tinged with melancholy (probably shoulda put it with the sabigiyuu playlist lmao)

i see you, you see me - how pleasant, this feeling - the moment you hold me - i missed you, im sorry - ive given what I have - i showed you I'm growing - the ashes fall slowly - as your voice consoles me only alive in his dreams, the reprieve of being in sabito's arms hurts from its fleeting nature. his chance at trying to right his wrongs of being too weak, a demon's dying ashes as proof, sabito's voice (a faded memory of, distorted with unfamiliarity) telling him he doesnt need to prove himself of anything

as the hours pass - i will let you know - that i need to ask - before I'm alone - how it feels to rest - on your patient lips  - to eternal bliss - im so glad to know the false feeling of lips against his, only as good as a dream gets. (he knows it isnt real, it doesnt feel real, its heaven nonetheless) a kiss that never happened, never will happen, hes just happy to have known him at all (even if the memories are so painful)

we're swaying to drum beats - in motion, im feeling - my patience controlling - the question, i wont speak two hearts in sync as their sword swings, giyuu always holds his tounge until the perfect moment (a perfect moment doesnt exist)

we're telling the stories - our laughter, he knows me - we're leaving, we're talking - youre closer, it's calming reliving faded memories- happy times and the march to their shared grave. the impeding dread of Knowing simmers to an empty lull when their hands brush as they walk

the night will hold us close and the stars will guide us home - ive been waiting for this moment, we're finally alone - i turn to ask the question, so anxious, my thoughts a calm rest with another painful dream of a man that doesnt exist

your lips were soft like winter, in your passion, i was lost their lips meet, painfully cold and oh so dead against his, only for a moment. he opens his eyes to the crystal clear memory of the determined fire behind rounded eyes before he turned. white haori disappearing to the forest, vision blurred, red trailed down his face, what was he supposed to do now?

-------

Little Dark Age is super gloomy and sorta like. corrupted church vibes. idk how to explain that. the tone of voice singing keeping the note flat (except in the chorus) the background music echoing itself it just overall reminds me of devilman crybaby's corrupted demonic vibe. Smells Blood(kensuke ushio). dvmcb has a more Taken And Run By Evil/Satan kinda vibe whereas little dark age is more God Left Us

the lyrics are a narration, his own thoughts and feelings he never speaks aloud but says if you listen close enough.

the ruins of the day, painted with a scar dont need to explain that one

and, the more i straighten out, the less it wants to try the amount of willpower it takes him to just keep going

oh-oh, forgiving who you are, for what you stand to gain - just know that if you hide, it doesnt go away/i grieve in stereo, the stereo sounds strange - you know that if it hides, it doesn't go away self-narration, how much he still hurts despite hardening his heart against it all

when you get out of bed, dont end up stranded - horrified. with each stone. on the stage - my little dark age stranded in the stagelight, stone upon stone tied to him always weighing him down

specifically ties with the other lyric- come find us heading for the bridge, bring a stone, all the rage, my little dark age he thinks he deserves it, peoples hatred and anger at his failure, he ties the stones himself

if I get out of bed, you'll see me standing all alone, horrified, on the stage, my little dark age all of this song ties specifically to this one imagery i have of sabito and giyuu and hashira overall- theyre the ones that bare the light that destroys demons. with their strength they cast shadows for other slayers and innocent people to hide behind, still safely in the light but not being burned by it as they are.

Giyuu and Sabito were supposed to bare that light together, strengthened by eachother casting shadows where the other's weakest and baring the burn with eachother side by side, they were supposed to cast a shadow large enough to shield everyone they cared for, to not lose everyone they love again.

this line was the start of it all- waking up alone on the stage being wholly burned by the light with no respite. the blinding light instead signaling his little dark age

also yeah!!! the self-isolating, lonely theme of those songs is literally just Him. it speaks for itself so clearly i dont even know how i could explain it to someone who knows giyuu but doesnt understand how The Mute & The Missing Road relate to him. its just. Its Him man. you gotta believe me. if you only listen with your ears, i cant get in - and a heart always holds, onto missing roads MAN CMON ITS RIGHT THERE-

[lemonthepotato]

So I finished Helluva Boss today. I like to make notes when I consume a piece of media. I never said those notes were peak maturity. Far from.

Enter.

Two seconds in: holy shit is that MORDERCAI?? 😰😰😰😰 no wayyyyyyyy.

And that kids, is how you traumatise a class of kids. I mean, I know I’m meant to feel bad for… whatever her name is, but those poor children 😭

HELP I LAUGHED LIKE AN IDIOT WHEN SHE THAT KID GOT CHOKEHELD IM A MONSTER OMG. IM SORRY 😭 it was just so funny 2 me I’m so so sorry.

She’s kinda hot tho when she’s a demon. Ngl.

I need the furry wolf’s number. IMMEDIATELY. I am DOWN BAD.

Is that fucking… stock horror music? HAHAHA- no no I’m imagining it, but imagine if it was.

HES BRITISH. THE BATHTUB GUY IS BRITISH.

BRUH. HES DOWN BAD, EVEN AFTER THE SHIT HES STILL RAMBLING ON?? HIRE A HOOKER!! GOD ITS ALWAYS… certain types of… I’m Irish, okay?!?! It’s a personal attack on me!

HAHAHA. L. L MOXIE L. The family just died anyway that’s a fucking LlLlLlLlLlL.

Closing thoughts: give me the satanic wolfs number immediately. I am down bad rn.

Rating: 3/5.

It kept me entertained, and hooked.

Episode 2:

This song reminds me of a particular band, I just don’t know what. There’s a certain “style” that’s familiar to it. I don’t know what.

Yeah I just. I saw that exact thing coming. Something going wrong, and something going wrong fast.

Octavia is just like me except my dad hates me and is just as unstable as my mom.

Okay so here’s my question: his eyes. Uhhh, the British bathtub guy. I forgot. It’s full red, is that his iris? How huge is his range of vision? Because MINE? Hun-knee, I have visual snow syndrome and shit eyesight, I’m nearsighted, this British fucker- see I’m Irish so this is a personal attack on me.

If you become a demon when you die, are their kids biological or did they die too?… dark thought.

Is there another… character that isn’t Moxie? Because I don’t care to remember his name tbh. So I’ll call him ‘Not Moxie’.

Blitzo, Stolas, I get it mixed up. And I can’t tell who Moxie is and who… the other one is. Moxie has a high voice, right??? I don’t know. I’ll learn it eventually.

Imagine your dad loving you. Couldn’t be me. Ever. Now I’m shedding. Skin or tears? You decide. (I shed my skin when emotional, like a snake. HISSSS)

Thoughts: Poor Via.

Ranking: 3/5. I liked it, I guess.

Episode 3:

God damn it why are all the female demons so hot. Damn you episode. I mean, *ahem* hello senora. ;)

I think my favourite characters so far are uh… what’s her name? Something -ica, and uh…….. the asshole. What was his name? Is he Stolas or Blitzo? I keep forgetting. 😭

Can I call her Titanic? No reason. She just looks like a… Titanic. Surely there are kids called that. (Rereading this I had a reason for this but I don’t fucking remember what the fuck?)

Blitzo. Gotta remember that. Blitzo. Ok. I’ve got it.

…UH OH. IVE BEEN CAUGHT. HELP THAT FOURTH WALL BREAK CREEPED ME OUT OK IM SORRY FOR BEING A SIMP IM SORRY.

Overall thoughts: None.

Ranking: 5/5. It was my favourite episode so far.

Episode 4

Uh… I liked how the piano switched places just to fall on his head? Yeah this episode kinda was meh.

2/5.

Episode 5:

Yeah I didn’t care much for this either.

2/5. Maybe I’m not paying attention enough.

Episode 6:

Okay so Red girl (what I’ve been calling in my head) is called Millie.

“Ee-dough” it’s pronounced Eh-doe period. In Japanese, ‘e’ means the ‘eh’ sound.

Is that. I was right, that’s just House Of Leaves or whatever?? It’s not bad to use horror stock music just funny.

Ohhh, Stolas is the bathtub guy. I think I’m developing a sexual attraction to him. Not as much as I was down bad for Loona. And the other one. Ika. I’m calling her Ika. Wait, Verosika?

Episode 7:

Okay… I am now realising that Moxie and Millie are married. I’m kinda dumb.

Season 2:

Lmao M&M.

HELP STOP GASLIGHTING MOXXIE INTO THINKING HES FAT EVERYONE IS SO MEAN TO HIM SHHSHSHS

Ah yes, the angel dust treatment. “Harder.”

Bro the pain of someone typing and then not responding.

Ok… why is season one episode 8 only out now? Huh? I don’t understand… (I checked the desc, nvm my words)

The mean girls reference XD.

I’ve heard of holding your breath, but not under honey?

The more I hear Kesha-

You: Her name is Beelzebub

Me: Anyway Kesha

The more I hear her, the more I might develop a Keshaccent. She’s cool but she seems like the kind of girl who would’ve bullied me for being autistic in high school.

So this takes place after uh… what happened again? I forgot. The night at the… lust club? Yeah whatever I forgot. Obvious from the start, just forget what exactly happened… anyway, how the fuck can Blitzo DIE ALONE?! HES IN HELL! You need a cold shower man…

Overall thoughts: I liked it. I’d give it a 7/10. I thought I wouldn’t like it, but I also thought that about XRA… I liked some characters, and even the ones that are like- beyond horrible people (like stella) I found entertaining to watch at the very least.

Pro’s:

- I liked the characters relationships with each other in various episodes. It made for comedic, or sometimes sad situations.

- I rarely found myself bored.

- It was pretty okay.

Cons:

- Some of the humour bordered on whiplash. Going from an emotional scene to comedic can be… really distracting. It wasn’t too much of an issue. I guess it’s intended as comic relief. Some of the humour was also immature which can throw some people off but I didn’t mind, I like vulgarity.

- Honestly, I can’t think of much else to critique. It was pretty good. It just didn’t impress me, or wow me, or make me feel much other than ‘oh, that’s sad’ or ‘oh, that’s funny’. But that’s okay.

Edit: I forgot to watch the pilot episode… and a new episode dropped today. So yeah, did that, been there. It’s been there did that, not… did that been- ugh why do I care about the semantics of this?

[genericswordsmaiden]

summer reading/writing/arting tag

Tagged by @inkysqueed (thank you so much, fellow Jumpluff and Oblivion enjoyer!)

1) Describe one creative WIP you plan on working on over the summer.

Of course, even though I have many ideas in mind (a one piece/crossover fic, an oblivion fanfic and a story about an AU me and my friend @zombinafonfrankenstein came up with) I'm going to continue writing Dark! I'm giving it my all because my goal is to publish it and see it on shelves!!! But for now the english version is available on ao3 (it is updated a bit irregularly because of life and other stuff, but some friends said that it's good nonetheless)

A description of it? Magic amnesiac guy and friends travel across the Afterlife to retrieve books and save the universe from some kind of eldritch creature. It sounds like pure crack and in some way it is. It's also brutal.

2) Recommend a book!

Oh, this is a tough one! But if y'all haven't done it yet, go read The Book Thief. That story changed my life, and it made me cry so much. I loved Liesel and Max's friendship, and also Rudy... He was best boy. And Hans deserves the title of best father ever. Oh god I'm crying again, it's been years since I last read it and it's still a fresh wound! A masterpiece.

3) Recommend a fic!

Another tough one, since there's so many fics I'd like to share! I can't name less than five though, because I absolutely adore them and I wish people of the respective fandoms would read them. Sorry.

Honor bound by penwarrior11 (The Elder Scrolls IV: Oblivion) (this one is part of a series and it is the first fic of it. It follows the story of the game alright, but I love the scenes with Mara and Martin, and also Baurus. A precious little gem.)

Everything by nonman (Half Life: Alyx) (this one began in 2021 and proceeded slowly, as of now I'm waiting for the last chapter but guys, it is great! It gives continuation of the cliffhanger at the end of HL:A and it is written masterfully)

No more dreaming of the dead by @mina-murray-harker (Re-Animator 1985) (I love the style of this one, safe and disturbing and full of movie and music references. I think the Re-Animator fandom would love it to bits just as yours truly does)

Candlelight by @clichejoe (Encanto) (this is still my comfort fic and it is very beautiful, colorful - and the main character is the most lovable oddball researcher ever)

The fear of the ocean by FishingLure (JoJo's bizarre adventure) (this one emotionally scarred me - it's been two years and I still haven't recovered)

4) Recommend music!

Pat Metheny Group's discography. But also Seventeen's discography... No, I have to choose a single song. I must choose a single song or else I'll be here all night! Alright, here we go: Haru No Maboroshi by Superfly. It sounds like a sunset. I used to listen to it when I ended uni lessons late in the afternoon, it gives me a comforting feeling and restores my spirit a bit.

5) Share one piece of advice!

Hmmm, I'd say to never forget yourself. Other people may leave, but yourself is the only one who will never leave you. Some people might see this as insensitive wording, but I truly mean this with all my heart. There's time to be spent in introspection, there's love to be found in ourselves, for ourselves. There's a certain kind of healing that can only occur when you are with yourself. Also, to everyone reading this, regardless of shape color gender and preferences regarding tea - tell people who are dear to you how much you love them and hug them. Spread good stuff, hugs are the best drug - and they're free!!

Tagging @koumeowkami and @stardusteyes and also the other beautiful people I already tagged are totally free to copy this and post their own answers!

[scottstiles]

i was tagged by @agentplant thank you kate!!

Comfort Meme

Comfort movie: maybe i’m a cliche but i love shit like 17 again and 13 going on 30... am i supposed to NOT want a do-over?? XD

Comfort food: fresh baguette

Comfort clothes: sweatpants and hoodie. my sister just bought me this one-piece flannel thing that might be a pj or a lounge outfit but it has a hood so i can’t sleep with it, and if i wear it during the day how can i use the bathroom? anyway it looks super comf but i haven’t even worn it once yet XD

Comfort song: the jurassic park theme song ;lsdfkgjkjdfshgkfjg it just makes my heart explode every time

Comfort book(s): well it used to be HP but now i don’t even really read... ive been looking at my lotr collection recently tho. the three main ones i bought when the movies came out so they have the actors faces on the covers which give me a super nostalgic feeling every time i look at them. also they are so well worn and the pages are almost dark brown now from all my smoking, i bet theres even notes in the margins.. i should really get on a re-read it has been at least a decade. my silmarillion paperback is a really pretty one it has a cover with a nice little design and a matte finish so sometimes i take it out and stare wistfully as i remember how much of an impact it had on me. ive been meaning to re-read that too for the last several years ://

Comfort Game: ummmm do jigsaw puzzles count? ;kldfjghkjsdbfgfdg this is probs referring to video games. which i do not do. i also dont do puzzles anymore because photoshop so... hey wait does that count as a game? i often feel like i lose so maybe that counts XD

i’m gonna “tag” anyone who wants to do this cuz i just don’t feel like goin thru my list again but i love you all <333

[elmandvineblr]

This album is over 50% done according to my calculations. All of the songs have at least a rough draft so nothing wholly finished but damn it I love every song on this album so far.

Everytime I work on a song it becomes my favorite one. The one I'm obsessed with right now is this dramatic orchestral piece that legit started as a quiet Billie Eilish style whisper singing and has turned into something full chest voice that sounds like a movie soundtrack. And singing it is so cathartic.

And today someone from Chicago found my music on spotify listened to 3 songs, saved one, added one to a playlist and then followed me. It was just very sweet to see that. I can't wait to start teasing the album so other people can hear what I hear but I have a long way to go.

I'm still in the writing phases of the songs so I'm not gonna really hone in on practicing yet but once I have all the songs completely written with 100% complete rough drafts of instrumentation I'm going to do something ive never done before: 2 months of instrumental practice and harmony practice. I usually write and record in same sitting but I think practicing the tune will help unlock more dynamics and skill than I've had in old albums. Then 1 month to record final drafts. Then I want to give each song at least 5 hours of mixing/editting before sending to get mastered so one more month there. Mastering I'll give another month.

Let's call that a release date of Feb 1. All the while performing characters for my old music, getting new listeners, generating buzz. Maybe a goal of finishing my first single "Half-life" by Oct 1 and the second single "I See it in Your Eyes" by December 1.

I also want to use the practice time to actually tab out the songs. I never do that and kick myself for it all the time. I'll have to do it for banjo because I want to actually compose not just do chords for some of the songs. Luckily with piano the midi tabs it. But guitar and bass will suck a bit. I'd love for other people to be able to play my music.

I've been serious about my music for a long time but I feel like I've learned SO much about composition, recording, playing, editting, mixing, lyricism the last 10 years. I really want to go all out on this album that makes people go "what the fuck, Eli" every track they listen to. For many years I had no patience for perfection and settled for good enough. But I want to ride this feeling to really show what I can do as a songwriter, musician, composer and audio engineer.

[pwblogarchive]

January 2007

January 2, 2007

tiny hope armies fight inside my heart just outside of the greenzone of my head.you cant imagine the things i would do for you.

- xo

January 2, 2007

“start it off with a bang”

everything we do is watched and recorded, so lets try finding some new exits and new ways to time it all at. give them something real. not the way it was going last year. i mean somehing bigger and brighter than me and you.

January 2, 2007

“theres a world outside of my front door that gets off on being down”

we watched scenes from an upcoming movie the other day- they wanted to see if we were inspired to write. i never thought there was any part of anything else that made sense with fall out boy. but the character of this movie is as close as it seems to come. it inspired me. we wrote and recorded one new song in new york tentatively called 'i dont think you know who i think i am'. it strange cause it sits apart from all of the other songs in so many ways in my head. its about taking this thing we are in apart. this band and these songs we sing. whether your image is an angelic patrick that could sing anything to you, to the way andy and joe dont get enough attention, to the way i am one of the most conflicted manic people i know- you love to hate, sometimes you hate to love. but at the end its trying to make sense of this. are we really trying to feel better? am i really trying to feel better? what would i have with out this? who am i? why should i be answering anyones questions or signing a piece of paper from anyone- what have i ever done to deserve that. i am not an heir. i am not special. and i dont mean this in a self depricating way at all. our band is bigger than us simply because people have believed in it. there were so many highs and so many lows from the last year. so many rumors, so much truth. my head is back in the game. we are playing this tour to re-meet people. there wont be any pyro or cool outfits on it- just us and you and the songs. anyway, hope this can be about that again. we'll be playing some new songs and some really old ones. sorry ive been out of touch, had some strange whisperings in my ear- ive been writing everything i really feel into a real journal and into the new songs and just cant wait to get on the road. anyway, thanks for sticking in there- if youre reading this and are- and if not hope i/we get the chance to prove you wrong."we only wanted to sing you to sleep through bedroom speakers- we need umbrellas on the inside, get me right"....

January 8, 2007

decompression.

how ive been feeling is sunsets everywhere.he went into the snow for the first time today.it was like watching them land on the moon.everything i write is just history from my perspective-a bit off of how it really went.giving up from the heels of my shoes all the way to the beating in my chest."are you in or out?"talk some sense into meim reeling from the altitude and from not being able to get through.the truth is strange and chaotic. nothing hurts quite like it.but i am addicted to it."ive got a big big mess on my hands " (youll know what im talking about soon).happy people find happiness in the gutter.if you are unhappy it doesnt matter how many zeros are added to your bank account. you will find unhappiness.i find that its alot easier to find faith than to lose it.though there is always a singer, preacher or doctor who acts like they are the lost and found bin for faith.when i think about you i want to be subtracted down to a particle that runs through your veins.i want to run through your body.sprint.i want to make you dizzy.i want to give you headaches.i want to be a part of what you need to get by.were just like a movie based on a book-almost. but not quite as good.i feel shut out in the cold.in my head only.its dark and my eyes have not adjusted yet.brand new boy, brand new year.i want someone or something to believe in.

January 8, 2007

i wish i was as invisible as you make me feel.

- xo

1/08/07 Q&A

question

what made you guys decide to wear shirts with each others names on them? i found that strangely amuzing… haha

answer

everyone wants to be someone they are not.

question

Wont it be so cool when you go to your class of — reunion? Super bragging rights, brah. You think youll ever have one of those?

answer

i cant imagine myself going. i didnt like highschool very much and didnt feel like i fit in- most of the time i thought id be dead before i ever got out. so going back probably wouldnt be that much fun.

question

when i first heard carpel tunnel of love i was really sketchy about if i liked it. i was into the punk thing and this record seems to be more like soul sounding. then i heard thriller and the lyrics are brillant. people on the boards were saying i like pete cause he was writing lyrics i can relate to but somehow i felt related to the thriller lyrics. oh and ctofl grew on me. its amazing to put on an old record then listen to a new song and just listen to how much patricks vocals have grown. thank you for writing such amazing music still to this day after all the shit talking.

answer

i will tell patrick. thanks. i am worried about people reading the lyrics to the new songs. i didnt want to repeat ttyg or fuct again. i went to a new place. its different. new metaphors- much more tongue in cheek stuff. also, there are far more literary references. i am glad you connected with that song. our label told us we should dumb the lyrics down so it would be more appealing to a wider audience. but thats not really our thing. so i can only hope that you catch on to a song or two.

question

does hemmingway really not do pictures? thats what charlie said…i beg to differ.

answer

charlie got demoted from security to dogwalker and hem is now head of security.

January 10, 2007

"noone cares about the man in the box"

they put us up in fancy hotels in the downtowns of every city.i think because downtowns are dead at night and i am supposed to be kept out of trouble.so me and him go on walks in between the midnight buildings.breath in the air, hands in the pockets.we walk and i talk to him and to noone.i tell him all of the ideas too stupid to tell the rest of the world.he listens or doesnt listen, i cant really tell most of the time.i am a bad talker. he is a bad walker.some how it all adds up.the ghosts of everything follow us everywhere.none of us can escape them.i have the same dream pretty much once a week:i am walking him in the dark and am mugged. i get shot and am robbed. as i lay there dying i watch him standing there with a leash with noone to hold it.the dream book says its trust issues.i am thinking more of a fascination with armed robbery,sweat and tears pretty much have the same chemical make up.we burn the weight off somehow.i dont have the heart of a fighter.i dont know how to throw a punch.i will lose 9 out of 10 fights i get into.but ill stand with my friends against anybody.win or lose.maybe we should not make it through the night.i like thinking about kissing you in the dirt and rolling across front yards.dont have much heart for exloves.thank god for the ignore button on the phone.watched the prestige again tonight.i am half a man, living half a life.i am homesick.

January 10, 2007

there is one person on this planet that i would love to lay on a curb with and count on the stars. its too bad you are asleep.

- xo

January 11, 2007

"ive got that lefty curse, where everything i do is flipped and awkwardly reversed..."

im tired of the safety of failure.i am a glass and i am dying to be filled with anything.at least thats how i feel late at night.sometimes i just want to call anyone and apologize.i had a spark,but i blue it out.i wrote your name out,just to see if it still felt natural.original.pressed it in my favorite book-to see if it might catch some luck.oasis- wonderwall.i think i was born inside out,or just kind of skipped into it.everyday i meet someone new-who doesnt get me.its this strange social nuance.sometimes i feel like my pilot light has gone out,but i always wake up in the morning anyway."you say you disturb meand you dont deserve me.but you know sometimes you lie.you say your shakinand your always achin,but you know how hard you try.sometimes it gets so hard to care,it cant be this way everywhere.im just gonna let you pass,yes, and ill go last..."

January 12, 2007

only fools rush in...

There was a moment when the last good part of me died.It was not angry or rebellious.It was not mean spirited.It was not even dramatic.It kind of just coughed, sputtered and then died in its sleep.A collective effort in giving up.Cursed.If anyone ever really knew me, they'd string me up and leave me as a sign of what not to become.How not to turn out.My head in my hands with my fingers tight over my eyes pretending that none of this is happening.The volume is loud but the screen isn't on. Just so noone can hear me thinking.There isn't a goddamned thing that sparkles in my eyes anymore. There isn't magic in there.Can't even put a sentence together.My chest feels full of sulfur and ash.I can't stop shaking.Who can I call? Hurt the ones you love. Love the ones you hurt.Funny thing about how it all works out. When I saw you lying there blood spilled slipping and sliding in that bathtub I knew how I loved you. I saw you without makeup. Without your hair perfect. Without the words you bend to make me see you a certain way. I saw you alone and scared and knew I had to be careful with how I held you. Hope is a fragile thing. But it sticks in the back of your head. It pulses through your legs and can make you run up the stairs instead of taking the elevator. I knew I had to meet you in an aisle on a sunday morning. I knew I had to wake up to the biggest eyes I have ever seen for the rest of my life.And its just not real.Its shadows of life.Daydreams of love.They beg for an inch and take a mile.We all become parodies of ourselves.If you looked inside you'd see artifacts that'd proved I once gave a fuck.There is a reason my real smile doesn't show up too much anymore.There is a name for it.'Fuck your futures'.

1/15/07 Q&A

question

i guess im 2 young 2 understand, but i hardly understand any of ur lyrics…am i just stupid or what??? its just hard 2 listen 2 ur songs if i dont understand the lyrics 2 try and relate 2 them…take this 2 ur grave is one of my fave records by u guys and those lyrics i can understand ok, i guess…but these new ones just plain confuse me and im not gonna try and act cool like i get them when i dont. i know u probably wont answer this because it makes it sound like ppl dont get ur lyrics, but hey i gave it a try.

answer

i dont expect people to get the words really. i dont want to rewrite the same ones over and over again… i am at a different point in my life now as are alot of people who got tttyg, i am sure. i would love people to be able to connect with the words and have them mean something to them. but again, were not gonna dumb them down. we want to write about the things that move us.

question

I am super depressed now expecially since my brother is going to prison for something he didnt do but my family says I depend on music too much, what do you guys do if your depressed??

answer

I dont really think you can rely on music too much. it wont leave you or stop talking to you. or give up on you. its what i do.

January 18, 2007

the truth is even if im shining, im just old light beamed out ages ago.

i have been typecast.a square peg forever trying to squeeze into round holes.you drink to forget,i write so i never will.cursed myself down and out for all time.i am always leaving you high and dry.i am always leaving you out in the cold.because i am regular.minus all of this.dont try and argue with manics.its not worth your breath.something about this year has got me crawling back inside my shell.its ok to breakdown.its ok to get out of your mind.dont sleep or eat for days on end- im forgetful when it comes to comfort and consistency. sometimes i am just letting you shine.even with all the greens and honey in these eyes.growing up became growing old.ive learned to keep myself quiet.to be a stow away in this life.to not make waves but sometimes scream and fight over nothing so great at all.ive been paranoid that friends would kill me,i know ive thought of killing some of then.maybe only in my head."You are my sweetest downfallI loved you firstBeneath the stars came fallin' on our headsBut they're just old light, they're just old light"everyone is always acting like there shit doesnt stink.mine does even when im pretending.the sun is coming up.the truth about lonliness is yr only as good as the company you keep.everyone is forever saying 'i miss the way things were' and missing old versions of eachother.were still here. all of us.brush your finger tips on my eyelids like you did in the glory days.i promise ill make it back.you are all too sweet.and i dont deserve it.i never did.sorry for calling in sick on everyone.

January 19, 2007

"I had a dream that I was in mexico and I woke up with pesos in my hand."

No news is good news.Seriously.Magazine articles try to steal the good times, the best days away.These writers are obsessive and manipulative.How do I know that? Because I am too.I think anyone that observes and writes is.Its very self-serving.It means you never have to really live or adventure outside of your own head.So I withdraw.Don't take it as anything more than that.I keep writing and keep talking but to you instead.North carolina reminds me of last year-Cashing a smile I saved back then, for a rainy day.Its pouring.But I've got a smirk.Be well.And ill try to also.

January 23, 2007

i make my guesses against star that are probably just burned out.fistfight the keyboard when i think of how i turned out.

- xo

January 23, 2007

if you gave me a course i am sure i could find a way to come off of it

he says "whats the point in starting drinking at 2am"another writes "i like looking at the bullet holes, i want to live there..."i realized what i was dreading. i dont think peopleare able to connect and relate to what i am looking for on our record. not disappointed in anyways about sales- patricks voice more than anything makes up for that. more disappointed in the feeling completely alone. rubble.writing got you in, no point in writing yourself out.ill see you in the morning with a fres perspective i hope.#your accesnts almost make up for feeling homesick.

January 23, 2007

ive adapted and evolved.

ive become only quite versatile and proficient and talking my way out of the worst.the only words we write and sing are tongue in cheek. they are exploring. they are laughing. they are in on the joke.the widow is not a widow but an idea in a man that i hates head.the carcrash heart is slogan wed put on a tshirt and sell in a mall. the trial is fred hampton jr. but as a metaphor.and so on.i hate unpacking. but i feel intrigued to do so after hearing you tell me how much you can and cant picture. i wont take it all apart. just to know there is something there to be taken apart.

January 25, 2007

you make me weak in the knees.life as of late: "usually i like to get kissed before i feel fucked".

- xo

January 25, 2007

trying to slip through the cracks

dylan went electric. so did we.but in my head kind of only.nobody cared.its hard being careless, even harder to be carefree.i fight walls in hotel rooms more than i have ever slept next to someone in them.tricking yourself into thinking you matter enough for someone to remember to forget you is the best kind of magic of all.it is fast and hard.ive seen yr world. ive breathed in it and written of it.i dont care for it though.i dont read your reviews or your clippings anymore.i try not to obsess over obsession.im lonely but like a cigarette. im always being smoked. put to mouths and then put out.my mouth moves faster than my head ever could and lets not even speak of the words at my finger tips.they are never thought through.they just come and come.like light under the door.sometimes poets speak with their fists.trying to write my way out of everything.it was simple to write "wouldnt piss to put you out" and "kiss her, kiss her".its a bit harder to mean anything to myself.its a shame that the days that are glorified are the ones i just wish would fade.sleep on a curb. wake up with a smile.dream of sometime better.

1/25/07 Q&A

question

(Disclaimer: This is a legit question.) I was listening to the new record (dont worry, I pre-ordered it anyway) and found myself thinking about where I was in my life 3 or 4 years ago listening to an unknown band that was my backpocket secret. It got me to thinking about where you were back then, so I browsed through some old school fbr journal pages. The strange thing was that I found a LOT of lyrics off of IOH in entries from 2 or 3 years ago. Some of them were actually verbatim from these entries. Did you look through them yourself and find old memories to in fact be current feelings? Im just wondering because youve been saying that you took the lyrics to a totally different place this time because YOU are in a totally different place, but this timeline seems to beg to differ.

answer

i obsess over words. i only write an okay line like every once in awhile. i guess i would put it closer to growth spurts. maybe i just feel like noone is going to get what i am saying so i am just cutting everyone off at the pass, you know? i really hope that they mean something to someone. i get a bit tripped up and confused by nostalgia and love.

question

pete how was your childhood life like? and how are you doing?

answer

really good and suburban and boring. i am so-so. thanks for asking.

question

hey did you like my scrapbook. I am going to write you everyday for a year (till i receive the answer)

answer

yes.

question

I miss the sarcastic ass hole who used to answer our questions.

answer

yeah some emo pussy has him tied up in the corner of a room. hopefully hell get loose sometime soon…

January 31, 2007

“jetlag.”

paris france. my ideas cant get through the narrow streets. louis the 14th has a bit more on the island than louis vuitton but you wouldnt be able to tell. "the songs we sing are going to send us all to hell". where do you begin and end ever. threw a book out the window today, words and all. literally. it felt ignorant but like just the right thing. its really all of a matter of who you become in the middle of the night. sometimes im always going, but mostly im always coming back. two talking over cold ones in a beer garden, growing carelessness- branching out, piss and make up. that kind of thing. in the family tree of paperback books you know with that spinelessness thing thats going on.... on the eve of possiblty the best thing ive ever dreamt of, with this band- but im lying on the cold tile floor. back in new york. will see you all soon. xx."the thing id like mos tin the world, " i say to her, since at this point i might as well go on talkingto her, "is to make clocks run backward." italo calvino - if on a winters night a traveller.

[jorjacrafts]

New Illicit concept

While creating the A0 posters, something that I picked up fairly quickly, I had to come up with a solution for my personal product designs as soon as possible. I was given the proposition where by I could get another screen printed over a BCU. I was waiting for a response to see how feasible this could be for me as there is a technician who also works a BMet that works at BCU which had previously helped me for my Folklore project last year.

While waiting, I began redeveloping my design so it feels more suitable for the new hoodies I have bought. I had research online to see if I could actually screen print over a zip because I began to wonder if it was a different piece of machinery however after looking at a lot of tutorials, It is possible and fairly easy to complete which is why I began to experiment with my designs over the centre of the the hoodies.

Although I loved my illicit type design which was mean to be the foreground go the piece, the more I messed with it and looked at is against the hoodie, I felt it didn't visually stand out to me anymore. It reminds me a lot of EdHardy designs and the Y2k aesthetic which I didn't want to achieve. I think alongside the 'floral' design, they didn't sit nice against each other on the hoodie which is why I designed to enlarge the design and have it stand proudly on its own to hold more strength. Ive began to prefer work this way because it can strengthen my designs and hold more time for a consumer to view the design with more detail and curiosity. I will not remove the illicit piece of design completely because it is still a strong piece of work in my opinion but I think it will sit nicely as a logo of this personal brand instead.

The new type design is an interpretation from one of the artists songs that have been the sole inspiration for this product. I have used the Mazdak font as I liked it thickness and density against the delicate floral design on the back. Having this text over the seems and zip will be really interesting if it is possible. I realised the text 'Stolen Stares' is ironic if I were to print it over the pockets of the hoodie as it implements robbery. The artist which this work is inspired by had her album masters stolen without permission from her former record company which means she doesn't earn nor own the rights to her whole discography anymore. Despite this huge loss, she had decided to re-record all of these albums which has surpassed sales of her stolen albums in streams and profit. This contextual research fits well into my design and I love how everything contacts to my narrative of the product. I love that no one will know the true meaning of these designs.

[wildlycuriouswanderercj]

Its been a while since i vented. I only vent when i need to let go of heavy baggages. Like a pile of shit in my chest. Idk if aum likes me. She out there with jonny in bangkok. With her friends. Theyre drinking. She doesnt call me. She looks like shes having rhe time of her life. Happy. Thats great. Thabks jonny of taking care of her. But personal i dont like that. I rather have her just wait st pattaya like a real girlfriend. And not go out drinking. She didnt have to go. Why her. Natapon couldve went. Why it had to be her. Why she making fun videos with jonny in the same room. Why is she seem so happy. Why she dont call me. Why she only ask what im doing and dont tell me what she doing. Why. Why so i even care. I dont like her. Shes too big for me. Her wnergy is good. But shes not the match for me. I think imma let her go. Its ok if we can still be friends. But i think im done with her. Im not jealous. Im not angry. Im kinda of sad. I want to do some muay thai. I think im going to stay in pattaya. Or im going to koh samui. I dont want to go home. Im going to save much money and live out here much as possible. I dont care about a silly tradtional dinner. Its my life. Its my last time i might be out. Im not going back until i use up all my money and more. I dont care about my credit. I just need to relieve my shit in my chest. I thought she csred sbout me. Im at these few days were i feel the most lonely ive ever been. Past month i been so fill with people. Today i meet yan and izaya. It was fun listening to and talking sbout japanese culture anime and songs and showing them thailand. But in the end im alone. And im sad. I need some company. The time i need company rhe most i dont have anyone to share with me. Its 3 in the morning. Cant sleep. But ill try. Tmrw i go eat more laksa. Because thsts my favorite. I wont post anymore on ig. Im done with ig. I dont care unless its somone tryig. To contact me. Which thwres nobody to really contact. Maybe we go see alien eye girl. Maybe not. She kind of freak me out. Tmrw we go for a run. Then a workout. The. We go eat laksa. We get in shape this year. We get smart. We est fish. We get fast. And we live well alobe. We need to take care of ourspeves. We can only rely on our own company. We dont need anybody else. We dont want to reply to anybody. Anyone. We dont need anyone. We have ourselves. Thats all. We only eat good. No. Tmrw we go eat poke. We only est dry food from now on. Bread. Pasta. Salad. Fish. Kura kura is ok. We will no longer reply ro aum. We are finish. She wasnt there for me these few days. She make me worry during tike i neeed company the most. I needed someone to talk to. She wasnt there during these most critical times. When school starts in 3 days or 2. I wont have the time to be lonely. Ill be busy. So busy i dont have time for anybody. Not for love. Not for anybody. Just me and the spirits and lessons. After this 4 weeks. We go back to soi 7. We get our roght chest done. We dont drink for a day. We go pattaya at night. We get the piece done the morning of. We dont drink that day. We go and simple relax at the beach in jomtien where nobody is. We just chill. We drink coconuts and eat at terminal 21. Becuade thats our favorite chill time. We go find a gym. We work out. We lift. We relieve ourselves we get fit. We just strong. We go shopping. We got buy expensive necklace for protection. We go visit our friend in big buddha. We pray to the gods for protection and guidance. We give back to the great society of thailand. We stay in pattaya until tatto is finish healing. On the 6 or 7 we leave to koh samui. And thatll be that. We dont want to go home. We dont need to go home. Home is not where we belong. I need to live my life my way. I need to become my pwn adult. I need to take responsibilities for my only life. We dont not need to chade fame. We just need to know oursleves. Life live life outside our comfort zone. Live below our means. And ask marco if we can borrow 3k. Or 2k. We go koh samui we race we love. We meet and see new places. And we go koh tao