#i love this man so much no one understands me i fear
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Thinking about Arcane with a partner who is terminally ill and has to stay in bed hooked up to a bunch of needles and tubes
Thank you for all your work you are amazing <3
Thank you so much for your kind words!
I swear we are allergic to happiness-
Jinx
Jinx hides her pain behind manic energy, trying to make you smile even when it feels like her heart is shattering. She brings you handmade gadgets, some of which are purely for fun—tiny robots that dance or explode into colorful sparks, filling the room with chaos and laughter. But when the exhaustion hits, she curls up beside your bed, her fingers tracing the tubes and needles with a quiet reverence. In those moments, her vulnerability surfaces, and she whispers about her fears of losing you.
Vi
Vi hates feeling powerless, and seeing you like this is her worst nightmare. She refuses to leave your side, bringing you books and stories of her past to keep your mind off the pain. Her hands are always gentle when adjusting your blanket or holding yours, but her emotions often spill over. When no one else is around, she breaks down, pressing her forehead against your arm, her tears soaking into the fabric as she begs you to hold on just a little longer.
Sevika
Sevika is practical, channeling her pain into action. She spends hours ensuring you’re as comfortable as possible, fixing equipment when it malfunctions and running errands for anything you need. At night, when she thinks you’re asleep, she sits by your bed, nursing a drink and talking to you like everything’s normal—about work, about Zaun, about how much she admires your strength. If you catch her in a rare moment of vulnerability, she’ll brush it off, saying, “You’re the tough one here, not me.”
Silco
Silco is a man of control, and your condition reminds him of his helplessness. He spares no expense in seeking the best care for you, but he’s always haunted by the sight of you so frail. His visits are quiet but full of unspoken devotion—he reads reports aloud, his voice calm and steady, though his eyes flicker to your face more often than the papers. Late at night, when no one else is around, he gently brushes your hair back and murmurs promises he knows he might not be able to keep.
Vander
Vander is a steady presence, his warmth grounding you even in your worst moments. He sits by your bed, holding your hand as he tells you stories from his youth or hums a soothing tune. He often brings the children by to cheer you up, their laughter filling the room. Vander tries to stay strong for you, but his hands tremble when he thinks you’re not looking. His love is unwavering, and he’ll remind you every day how much you mean to him.
Ekko
Ekko struggles with the weight of seeing you like this, but he refuses to let despair take over. He spends his time crafting small inventions to make your life easier or bring a smile to your face. When the silence becomes too much, he talks about his dreams for the future, painting vivid pictures of what could be. He clings to hope, even when it feels fragile, and does everything in his power to make sure you know you’re not alone.
Jayce
Jayce throws himself into researching treatments, convinced he can find a way to help you. When he’s not in the lab, he’s by your side, his hand resting over yours as he explains his latest breakthroughs or reminisces about the moments you’ve shared. He hides his fear behind his optimism, but when you tell him it’s okay to let go of the facade, he breaks down, resting his head on your shoulder and letting his tears fall freely.
Viktor
Viktor is no stranger to pain and illness, and he understands your struggles on a deeply personal level. He spends hours at your bedside, quietly tinkering with gadgets or reading aloud from books he thinks you’ll enjoy. His touch is gentle, his words soft, and his presence unwavering. He hates that he can’t fix this, but he makes sure you never feel alone, offering comfort in the form of quiet companionship and shared understanding.
Caitlyn
Caitlyn is your pillar of strength, calm and composed even when her heart is breaking. She works tirelessly to ensure you have the best care, pulling strings and calling in favors to get you what you need. She’s a constant presence, her hand often resting on yours as she talks about the world outside. When she’s overwhelmed, she steps outside for a moment to compose herself, returning with a renewed determination to make the time you have left as meaningful as possible.
Mel Medarda
Mel is a force of grace and composure, but your condition shakes her to her core. She fills your room with beauty—art, flowers, and soft fabrics—to make your space a sanctuary. She sits with you for hours, her voice soothing as she shares stories from her childhood or discusses philosophy and politics. Her mask only slips in the quiet moments, her hand lingering on yours as she murmurs about how much she loves you, her eyes shining with unshed tears.
Ambessa Medarda
Ambessa is not one to show weakness, but your illness makes her feel a vulnerability she hasn’t known in years. She takes charge of your care, ensuring you’re surrounded by the best physicians and resources. Though her visits are often brief, they’re filled with quiet intensity. She sits by your bed, her large hand covering yours as she promises to protect you, her voice steady even as her heart aches.
Maddie Nolen
Maddie is practical and nurturing, spending her days by your side to ensure you’re comfortable and cared for. She’s always quick with a joke or a story to lift your spirits, her warmth a balm against the cold reality of your condition. But when the laughter fades and the room grows quiet, she leans her head against your shoulder, her voice soft as she tells you how much you mean to her, her heart aching with every word.
Lest
Lest hates seeing you like this, but she channels her emotions into quiet devotion. She watches over you like a guardian, her sharp eyes scanning every tube and needle to ensure everything is in order. She often sits beside your bed, her tail curling around her legs as she talks about the world outside, filling the silence with her soothing voice. When you catch her staring at you with a mix of love and sorrow, she quickly looks away, her ears twitching, but her hand remains firmly in yours.
#arcane x reader#x reader#arcane imagine#arcane headcanon#jinx arcane#arcane vi#character x reader#jinx x reader#vi arcane#arcane#lest arcane#ambessa league of legends#mel merdada#maddie x reader#maddie arcane#mel medarda#silco x reader#arcane silco#sevika imagine#sevika x reader#arcane sevika#arcane ekko#ekko x reader#jayce x reader#victor arcane#arcane vander#viktor x reader#arcane caitlyn
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Can’t stop thinking the tall horror men of homicipher. I’m like 5ft something, so I know damn well these men tower over me…am I discovering something? Maybe 👀👀👀but I know I ain’t alone. TRUE STORY: Also there was this guy that came into my place of work moths ago with his family and he was TALL, bending down to get through the doorframe TALL but he was lovely.
So how do I imagine these boy would react if they see that you’re clearly ogling them for how tall they were.
Mr crawling
Given the fact that you’ve only seen him stand once, it was enough to have your jaw dropping to the floor. He was taller than the fucking doorway that he had to manoeuvre himself under it, and suddenly you’ve forgotten that you were being kidnapped by Mr Stitch, too intrigued by his height and now understanding why he had lied to you about his ability to stand.
He thought he would scare you but in fact made you feel the complete opposite, you loved how tall he was and you couldn’t get it out of your head, even when he’s back on his hands and knees to comfort you. The illusion had worn off and now you wanted to see him tall all the time, but you didn’t want to pressure him into doing so unless he felt comfortable.
‘You’re tall, really tall.’ You said in awe as Mr crawling coddled you against his chest.
‘Scared?’ He asked as though he was fearing your answer, which broke your heart as you nuzzled your face against his shoulder in an attempt of comfort.
‘No, handsome.’ You replied as Mr Crawling made chirps and purrs of happiness as he held you closer to him.
While he’s still not fond on standing to his full height, the fear of his intimating stature would chase you away one day embedded in his heavily, he would find some comfort in knowing that you loved his tall stature and love you even more for not forcing him to do something he clearly was uncomfortable with; preferring to shower him in kisses and remind him that whether he’s standing or on his hands and knees you loved him regardless.
Mr silvair
The man can feel your eyes on his back constantly. He knows he’s taller than most but the way you looked and admired his full height like you wouldn’t be able to anymore.
He wonders whether this was something only you seemed to have or whether other humans also felt possessed by the need to gawk at people above a certain height. Or was it just you that has this particular expression upon seeing his tall stature in general.
He would take notes of how his height seemingly did something to you that then triggered a chemical reaction within your brain to make you find his height appealing and possibly a requirement in finding your perfect romantic partner.
Or more specifically people of similar height to Mr Silvair himself or anyone close enough to his height to qualify. Mr Silvair soon deduced that you liked the domineering presence of someone much bigger than you, someone who’s able to drag you wherever as though you were nothing but weightless to them, almost like a ragdoll.
He’d soon find that this is in most cases considered a kink amongst you humans who found the height difference between partner rather erotic.
Mr Scarletella
Finds your content ogling of him flattering and thinks that it means that you were finally, finally reciprocating his obsession with you for your own obsession with him.
He’s another one who takes note of how you like how tall he is in comparison to you, always looking at him whenever he was entering the room, eyes widening when you see him having to bed down to get through the doorway, and your eyes never leave him even as he’s walking towards you; seemingly getting taller with each step until he’s in front of you and you’re looking at him in awe and hitched breath.
He’s obsessed with your expression each and every time and uses his height to his advantage. Such as doing things like putting his hand above your head and on the wall, looking down at you with those obsessive eyes of his as his smile seemed to widen upon hearing your breath hitch and eyes widen once more.
His height continued to elicit a reaction out of you that Mr Scarletella loved and adored and wanted to see more of in the future.
Mr Hood
Finds your constant ogling of his height interesting.
He didn’t know why you were so surprised he’s this tall, he’s been with you this entire time and it was only recently did your mind seemed to inform you of your Incredibly stark height difference, and bam! Suddenly he’s the subject of your constant staring and ogling as though it would be the last thing you did.
It was humorous to say the least and will earn you some head pats and cheek caresses that has you leaning towards his comforting and gentle touches.
It wasn’t something that you hide from him as half of the time you didn’t realise you were doing it until Mr Hood pointed it out with curiosity, meanwhile your left flustered as your mind held certain thoughts towards his legs, thighs and large hands.
Poor Mr Hood, he understood to some extent but after a certain point it’s better to explain to him that you find his height rather appealing to you in more ways than one.
#homicipher#homicipher x reader#homicipher x you#homicipher imagine#homicipher imagines#mr crawling#mr crawling x reader#mr crawling x you#mr crawling x y/n#mr crawling imagine#mr crawling imagines#mr scarletella#mr scarletella x reader#mr scarletella x you#mr scarletella imagine#mr scarletella imagines#mr silvair#mr silvair x reader#mr silvair x you#mr silvair imagine#mr silvair imagines#mr hood#mr hood x reader#mr hood x you#mr hood imagine#mr hood imagines
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And Comes Dawn pt 15
Pairing: Sauron/Halbrand x Reader, Isildur x Reader, Sauron/Halbrand x Galadriel
Summary: Sweet One overhears something she is not meant to.
Tags: manipulation, Saurons inner thoughts though they're pretty tame this time, insecure reader, confessions all around, angsty
Notes: this takes place starting at the scene from the gif. Not super heavily edited so let me know if there's anything glaring. As always leave feedback, I love anything and everything I get. And if you feel inclined here is my Kofi. (https://ko-fi.com/bamsy95253)
“ Whatever it was he did to you, and whatever it was you did, be free of it.” Galadriel spoke those words, and it was as if the final piece had fallen into place. The elf trusted him. It would not be hard to get to Eregion, and then it would only be a matter of time until he could forge his weapon. Until he could enact his rule, his control. To bring peace for all middle earth.
To bring peace for you. To ensure your safety.
Galadriel was a worthy ally, someone he'd want at his side. He was more certain now he'd likely need her at his side in order to achieve the optimal outcome. He'd do what he needed to that end, “I never believed I could be. Until today. Fighting at your side, I… I felt if I could just hold on to that feeling, keep it with me always, bind it to my very being, then I…”
“I felt it too.”
And she had fallen into the palm of his hand. It was a fun little game, one he hoped to continue. He looked at her, his hand moving ever so slightly towards hers. Whatever it took, he'd do it. For peace. For order.
For you.
He knew how you'd feel if you heard this conversation. The tension between you and the elf had lessened, but he could sense there was still an insecurity there that you had delegated her as more than you following a checklist of traits he could not understand. He knew you were wary of his interactions with her, fearing you'd be replaced, but you never spoke it. You never dictated who he could and could not spend time with, and he, perhaps surprisingly, offered you the same grace. He had no worries of the boy taking you from him. He knew you were smitten. However, he knew that the implications of his words to the elf would break you. He had only ever spoken to you of being better, of doing better, so speaking of the elf as if she was the key to his redemption would be a blow that he did not know if he could fix.
But your safety was what this was all for. He would do whatever he could to that end. He would fill the elf with lies, perhaps even hold her hand in his or kiss her, if only that meant a world where you did not die, where you did not feel pain or hunger or fear.
“Halbrand, the queen ...um…the queen Is looking for you.”
Your voice broke the spell between him and Galadrial. His fears crushed upon him, and he could not help but feel an overwhelming anger, an anger he hid with a shaky breath. He could hear the breaks in your voice, the thickness of tears unshed weighing down your words. You'd heard it all, and you were walking as fast as your feet could carry you in the opposite direction.
~
Your head was down as you walked away from them. His words ring in your ears.
Stupid girl. Stupid, stupid, stupid girl. Of course, he would not want you now. He was to be a king, and you were just you. You had no doubt he cared for you, but there had always been something with the elf. Lingering looks, touches that lasted a few moments too long. You were not upset that he could feel such things for another. There was a cloud of ‘What if?’ around Galadriel. What if you hadn't been on that raft? You had come to the conclusion that Halbrand and Galadriel would have fallen into that old trope of beautiful elven woman and mortal man.
It wasn't the ‘What ifs?’ that bothered you. You had plenty of those yourself. Without Halbrand, you are sure you would have fallen hard for a certain Numenorian. But as much as Isildur made you laugh, you never entertained the idea of anything more, and when touches lingered, you would call him out on it. And Isil respected you, respected your courtship.
No matter the what ifs’, you met Halbrand first, and your heart was his, and it was shut off to all others. Halbrand couldn't seem to do that with Galadriel, and that was what bothered you so. You were not important enough to him for him to let that go. It seemed he couldn't be happy with just you.
You weren't enough.
Your head was down, and you were furiously wiping away tears. You didn't want anyone to see your shame. You wanted to disappear. Perhaps the earth could swallow you up. You took some breaths to gain your composure before you made it to the village, but your lip trembled. You couldn't get his voice out of your head. You knew he was behind you. You didn't know how far, and you didn't care. You weren't interested in his explanations, how he'd excuse it or worse tell you his feelings have changed. Your feet carried you through the village. You ignored anyone trying to talk to you as you made your way up the ridge.
You sat there in the grass, you could see the people below. You could make out Halbrand, The Queen, Galadriel. You knew it was a triumphant time for your people. You knew it was the man you loved down there, but right now, you just wanted to be alone. You were exhausted from the emotional whiplash. You sniffled and wiped your nose, your cheeks felt raw and stiff from the tears.
You were broken from your thoughts when Isildur sat next to you. He said nothing, just sat with you. It was interesting how his presence lessened your despair, you didn't feel so alone. He was the one person you felt would not judge you or try to invalidate you. You both enjoyed the silence for a few minutes before he broke it.
“I would offer to stab him, but now that he's a king I fear that would not be the best course of action. Perhaps putting rocks in his boots, horse shit in his bed. We must get creative.”
You smiled, wiping the tears from your eyes. He looked to you and smiled softly, following your gaze to where you stared at Halbrand and Galadriel.
“I do not know what it is he has done, only that you'd only be here crying if it was him who had done something. Whatever you may need of me, I am here to offer it to you.”
You swallowed, wetting your lips with a nod. You were silent for a few more moments before speaking, “I feel as if I don't know his heart, not truly. Sometimes, I feel as if we are one and others, and it feels that there is this gaping chasm between us. His words and actions do not always agree, and I struggle to know what to believe. I believe he loves me, but I do not know if I'm the only one. I would understand if she did hold his heart, for she is most things I am not.”
He listened as you spoke, brow furrowed, “Most things you are not? I do not know what you mean by that, but I do know love is not a list to be marked off. It does not care if you are an elf, low man, or high man. It does not matter. If an elven king were to declare his love for you, would that change who you love? Or would you still love Halbrand? The answer to that is rather obvious, I think.”
“I wish he could be content with me. It seems he is restless. It seems….he wants something from her, something I cannot give him. That is what hurts the most. He has given me all I need and more and I have given what I can and yet it is not enough.”
Isildur was thinking of a response, fingers picking at the grass when you spoke so softly he almost did not hear it.
“I wish I was enough.”
His fingers stopped picking the grass, and he looked at you, “Is his opinion of your worth the only one that matters?”
You sniffled and looked at him, wiping your eyes.
“You put too much worth into what he thinks of you when it doesn't matter, not really. Are you enough for you? Are you happy with who you are?”
You sat there in silence. What he was saying made sense. It just wasn't what you expected from him.
“Your worth comes from your heart. Your kindness, your empathy. It comes from your values. From your mind. Your soul. It is not from being enough for Halbrand. Or for me. Or for anyone. Do not give anyone that control over you.”
~
He didn't chase you. It took everything in him not to. He hated it, the feeling of guilt that settled in his chest, how many scores of men and elves had he killed and felt nothing? He had sat with the elf while she cried about her dead brother, a brother he had killed, and felt nothing. But a tremble of your lip and tears in your eyes, and he was riddled with it. He still despised how you could make him feel. it gave you a sense of control over him.
No one had control of him like this, only Morgoth, and that control was taken from him through manipulation and torture. You had used no such tactics. You simply existed, and he was wrapped around your finger. You simply smiled, and he was on his knees. There was not a moment that went by that his mind wasn't consumed with you, thoughts of your safety, and thoughts of your future. Thoughts of how he was to keep you safe.
It was odd to compare you to Morgoth, but he could not deny that, to an extent, you were his master. Even if you didn't command him or lead his actions, he was doing all this so that he could be with you forever, so he could protect you. In that way, you were in control.
He didn't run after you, despite all that, because this conflict would benefit him in the long run. And to that end, it would benefit you. He needed to give Galadriel pause when it came to his feelings for you. He needed her to think his feelings for you were comparable to his feelings for her. He needed her to think that if he had to choose, he might choose her.
There was no choice, though. Not one where she was victorious.
His eyes followed you as you walked up the hill and sat. He could feel the sadness radiating from you even this far away. He would fix it. In time. His attention was pulled away as the queen spoke to him, and he confirmed himself the king of the Southlands. It was an ego stroke to have them chant for him. If only they knew. He smiled as he looked around, reveling in their chants and praise. His smile only faltered when he noticed who else was missing from the crowd.
The boy.
And when his eyes found you on that hill again, his blood boiled to see you weren't alone.
~
Isildur had given you space. His words had resonated with you. Before Halbrand, you had been confident and content in who you were. You had a past that you wanted to atone for, but you were not insecure. You knew who you were and what you dreamed of. You knew your worth, your strengths, your flaws. It all made you who you were, and you liked who you were.
It seemed love had changed that. You loved Halbrand. It would hurt to lose another person you loved, and so you worried and obsessed over it. Over your worthiness for it. But you knew you were worthy of love and happiness by simply existing. If Halbrand valued Galadriel over you, that was his choice, and while it would hurt, the sun would rise and set, and you would move on.
If you could overcome your father becoming a violent fanatic and warping your family into a murderous cult, you would overcome Halbrand loving someone else.
Your gaze wandered to Isildur with Berek and his father. It was far enough you could not make out the conversation, but you could tell it was a heartfelt one. You were glad for it. Their relationship had been too trained for too long.
The calm was broken as water erupted from the ground, screams filled the air, and orcs began chanting. You stood and watched in horror, frozen in place amongst the chaos. Then fire rained from the sky, and your body sprung into action. The children, the injured, they had to have help, and they couldn't be left alone. As soon as you started running toward the village, you were pulled back.
“No! You must not go,” Isildur demanded, his hands holding your wrist.
“Isil, they need help, they need -”
“They need you at the camp. They need you to heal them. Take Berek. I will make sure Halbrand is safe. That your people survive.” He held your face in his hands as he pleaded over the sounds of screams.
“What if you don't return?” Your voice trembled, and lip quivered.
“I would not give you my horse If I was not certain I would come back.”
He gave no warning before lifting you up on the horse,his hand squeezing yours, “If I do not return, I need you to know that I….I love you. Even if it is not returned.”
There was no time for a response before Berek was off, taking you to the Numenorian camp as fast as he could.
#halbrand x reader#sauron x reader#trop fanfiction#trop x reader#rings of power x reader#sauron x oc#halbrand x oc#rings of power fanfiction#isildur x reader#sauron x galadriel#halbrand x galadriel#annatar x reader
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The Nut Cracked
Summary: Sebastian Sallow doesn't understand muggle holiday traditions. But this one, he could get on top of.
OR, a spoof of 'The Nutcracker', but make it feral.
NSFW. ALL CHARACTERS ARE 18+. MINORS DNI.
AO3/Wattpad
3k words. Written for a NSFW discord server event: The Naughty List.
This is NOT canon to the 'Secrets' universe hahaha or is it
Tags: Explicit sexual content, objectophilia if you squint, seventh year, orgasm denial, Sebastian has blue balls and doesn't know how to handle it
Sebastian didn't understand muggle holiday traditions.
The brightly decorated Ravenclaw girl presented him with a small parcel that he had initially been excited to unwrap. But, as much as he loved seeing the look on Elsie's face as she handed it to him, he couldn't understand why, out of all the gifts she could have chosen, she had picked out an odd-looking wooden doll.
"It's a nutcracker!" She beamed. "My parents can never be bothered to figure out what to get me or my siblings, so they usually send us a whole slew of stuff."
"And...you saw an old man doll and it reminded you of me?" Sebastian turned it around in his hands questioningly. He tried his hardest to seem grateful, but truthfully, he was utterly confused.
She scoffed. "It's not an old man doll. It's a traditional gift that originated in Germany to ward off evil spirits and –"
"Evil spirits?" He laughed. "The only evil spirit we have to worry about during this time of year is Peeves."
"Well, if you don't want it –"
He abruptly yanked his arm away from her and held the wooden figure closer to himself. "I never said I didn't want it. I just think it could be more...appealing."
She tilted her head, her brows furrowed in confusion. "How so?"
Sebastian grinned slyly and picked up his wand, waving it in front of the nutcracker and transfiguring it to look like a girl with wavy, dark hair and freckles dusted along her nose and cheeks. He held it up proudly. "There. Much prettier to look at."
He was met with an eye roll as she stood from the couch and stretched. "If you say so."
Sebastian hadn't been particularly secretive about his feelings for Elsie in recent months. In fact, he thought he was being blatantly obvious, doing everything short of outright telling her due to her relationship status being a bit complicated. Even so, he did his best to hide his irritation every time she brushed off another one of his comments as a sarcastic quip.
It certainly hadn't helped that the other day, she had trudged back from another one of her adventures in the Highlands sopping wet from the snow, the already thin material of her blouse nearly transparent as it clung tightly to her form, her nipples peaked from the cold. He had spent half of the night restless, the other half with his hand wrapped around his cock every time the tantalizing image replayed itself in his mind.
The castle was nearly empty as the two of them spent Christmas at Hogwarts together, and all he could focus on was how frustrated he had felt.
"I should turn in for the night," Elsie sighed, glancing at the time. "I promised Lydia that we would still leave milk and cookies out for Father Christmas. She's very adamant about keeping to tradition."
Sebastian bit the inside of his cheek as he forced himself not to beg her to stay with him for the night. It wasn't like the prefects or professors cared to parade the halls during the holiday with so many students gone. But she likely didn't see him that way. His streak of terrible luck would have him falling for someone he couldn't have.
"Alright," he murmured, hiding the disappointment in his tone. He held up the wooden doll. "Thanks for the, uh...gift?"
She grinned. "Have no fear. We'll exchange our actual gifts tomorrow. But," she tapped the nutcracker's brunette head, "I suppose now, you'll have the nutcracker version of me to help keep you safe."
Sebastian's eyes followed the sway of her hips as she headed toward the gate of the Undercroft. He quickly averted them when she turned back to look at him. "Happy Christmas, Sebastian. See you tomorrow?"
He nodded. "Yeah, see you. Happy Christmas."
She gave him one last soft smile, and the gate clanged shut behind her. Sebastian sighed. Guess I ought to head back to my common room for the evening. He grabbed the tiny doll and sauntered back to his dorm, feeling even more tense than he had been hours before.
It was going to be a long two weeks.
~
Sebastian awoke the next morning, exhaustion creeping in. He needed to get control of his thoughts before he –
"Good morning!"
A light, feminine voice chirped at him from his bedside. The rest of the dorm room was noticeably empty — Sebastian assumed Ominis had left for breakfast early, not wanting to wait while he slept in.
It still didn't explain why Elsie was standing by his bed on Christmas morning. She would never sneak into the Slytherin common room without good reason, let alone his bedroom, even with how often he had teased and prodded her to spend time with him there.
He rubbed his face, his eyes still bleary. "Elsie? What are you –"
The words died in his throat once he finally took a proper look at her. She was smiling coyly at him, her raven hair free and cascading down her back. But what surprised him the most wasn't the expression on her face or the loose, dark strands that curled along her freckled, pink cheeks. It was what she was wearing.
Instead of a Christmas jumper, like she had promised she would have on, Elsie donned the bright red uniform reminiscent of the nutcracker she had gifted him the night prior. It was loose on her small form, barely hanging on to her shoulders, and short enough that it hardly covered the creamy skin of her thighs. He knew he should look away, or at least tell her that she was far too exposed for her liking.
"You're uh..." He cleared his throat. "What...what are you wearing?"
"Oh, this?" She playfully slid the top further down her shoulders. His hungry gaze followed the line down her collarbone and towards the curve of her breasts.
This wasn't like Elsie at all. The girl he knew wouldn't have been dressed like this in his presence, especially because they hadn't so much as kissed yet. She would be flustered, finding anything she could to cover herself up, and likely avoiding him afterward for days out of sheer humiliation.
"Why so shy?" She asked. It was definitely her voice but with a sultry tone. "This is what you wanted, isn't it?"
Sebastian swallowed. How could she have known that? "W-what do you mean?"
Elsie shrugged. "You made me. I heard your wish, and I'm here to grant it."
He blinked. Made?! "If this is some sort of muggle holiday prank, Elsie, it's really not funny."
She chuckled and sat next to him on the bed, draping an arm over his bare chest, and leaned forward to whisper in his ear. "It's not. I'm your nutcracker, silly."
Oh. Oh.
The nutcracker he had mindlessly transfigured last night to look like Elsie had somehow become sentient. And now, Elsie, or at least a perfect copy of her, was practically on top of him, half-naked and promiscuously alluring. It was something he had only dreamed about in the darkest hours of the night, alone in his bed with a silencing charm cast over him.
His thoughts were racing wildly as he drank in the sight of her. She was close enough now and leaning in at just the right angle that he could see entirely down her top, and his breath caught in his throat as he realized that, underneath, she was completely bare. He shifted on the bed as he felt his erection press tightly against his pajama bottoms, quickly losing any scrap of restraint he had left, which hadn't been much to begin with. This was wrong, wasn't it? He couldn't deny how badly he had wanted this – wanted it for months now.
Moments later, her lips and tongue were tracing a hot trail of kisses along his neck, and as she lightly grazed his pulse point with her teeth, the last thread of his control snapped.
In one swift move, he took her face in his hands and fiercely captured her lips with his own, the sensation nearly enough to send him over the edge. Months of pining - of gentle, innocent touches and cuddles that the real Elsie had naively passed off as what two good friends would share - had made him ache with need.
For an imitation, the nutcracker-Elsie felt wonderfully authentic.
His fingers snaked in her hair and tugged lightly, eliciting a soft moan from her that had him shivering. Realistically, had it been their true first experience together, he would have wanted to savor every moment, taking his time as he mapped out every sensitive plane and curve of her body that would make her writhe with pleasure underneath his touch.
But, since this was his Christmas wish, he was going to be self-indulgent and take exactly what he wanted, just as he had imagined doing for so long.
A soft brush of her hand against his very hard and throbbing erection nearly sent him into a frenzy, and he let out a mewl so pathetic he would have been embarrassed had he not felt so ridiculously desperate. His hands scrambled to tear the baggy nutcracker uniform off of her, and as he ran his hand along her inner thigh and traced his fingers along her core, he realized without a doubt that she was soaking. For him.
Happy fucking Christmas to me.
Sebastian groaned as he practically dragged her into his bed and flipped her onto her back. His body vibrated with anticipation when her fingers tugged at his pajama bottoms and yanked them down abruptly. His cock sprang free, already aching with desire, and he melted into a moaning mess when she wrapped her silken hand around him and stroked.
"F-fuck...so good, Elsie —" The way she held him, so expertly gentle and firm at the same time, was better than even his wildest imaginations could conjure. His hips bucked into her touch while he stared down at her through hooded lids, understanding that he needed to take every second to memorize her body in case he never had an opportunity like this again.
Her face was flushed, the smattering of freckles along her nose and cheeks standing out, just the way he liked to see them — one of the reasons he would purposely try to make her blush. His hands followed his gaze as it traveled further down, past her parted pink lips and onto her voluptuous breasts, and he couldn't help but lean forward and take one of her pert nipples into his mouth.
Elsie's sighs and moans as he swirled his tongue around it were music to his ears. He reached out with one hand to cup her other breast while his other slid between her legs once more and lightly circled her clit with his thumb while he pumped two fingers inside of her. The sounds she emitted were delightfully sinful, and he decided that he didn't want to wait any longer. He had waited long enough, trying his damndest to be a gentleman all this time and letting the real Elsie take whatever their relationship was at her own pace.
He had earned this. It was bloody Christmas, and she was his present, and he fucking deserved it.
Sebastian slotted himself between her thighs and pulled back to look at her again. The unbridled need on her face mirrored his own, and he momentarily wondered if he should have spent more time making sure she was ready for him before taking her. After all, if it were the real Elsie, he would have made sure she felt good and reached her release many, many times before he had even attempted to fuck her.
All reason and logic flew out of his brain as he fitted the sensitive head of his cock at her entrance, her slick coating him completely. The needy cry that she let out at the feel of him was all the encouragement he needed to know that she was as desperate for him as he was for her.
"S-Sebastian," she moaned, the sound so erotic he hadn't thought it possible for it to have come from her. "Please — please fuck me. I — need...inside me — please."
Elsie begging. As if he couldn't come undone anymore.
"Anything for you, Princess."
With one abrupt motion, he pushed his hips flush against hers, sliding inside her easily and simultaneously letting out a disgustingly pitiful whimper. He was internally grateful that Ominis had decided to go to breakfast early — he would never have let him live down the sheer humiliation of the chorus of wanting coming from his lips.
Though the doll had been made of wood only moments before, the tight heat of her cunt felt very, very real. It was her body, her silken skin under his fingers, her normally elegant hair mussed and tangled against his bedsheets, and, best of all, her voice crying out his name as he fucked her relentlessly.
"S-Sebastian! Don't — don't stop!"
The high-pitched squeals she refused to hold back egged him on further as he roughly snapped his hips against hers, releasing a low growl as her legs wrapped tightly around him and pulled him deeper into her. The heady scent of her filled his nostrils — the distinct smell of vanilla and jasmine that had so often intoxicated him now enveloped him, and he tucked his head into the crook of her neck to allow himself to be consumed by it.
"Fuck, Elsie. I'm so fucking close."
It was happening too quickly, his release approaching dangerously faster than he would have preferred had this been the real Elsie. He teetered on the precipice of wanting to slow down and make it last longer, to enjoy every sound and feel of her as much as possible, or rewarding himself with what he had been dying to have for so long.
Fuck it — it was Christmas.
She dug her fingernails into his back and muttered a terrifyingly incoherent string of expletives in his ear, but somewhere within them, she was encouraging him to let go.
He was right there, so bloody close now — only a few more thrusts as he selfishly chased down the reality that she was finally, finally his.
"Sebastian!" Yes. Say my name again.
"Sebastian, please!" Just like that, almost there —
"Sebastian, wake up!"
Sebastian's eyes flew open as he sat up abruptly, blinking furiously in an attempt to gather where exactly he was.
Elsie, fully clothed in a Christmas jumper and trousers, her hair in its normal, elegant plait, stared at him from the side of the Undercroft couch, her brows furrowed in concern.
"Are you alright?" She asked worriedly, and her hand softly stroking his arm was almost enough to drag another pathetic groan from his throat. "You were making all these noises in your sleep. It sounded like you were having a nightmare."
Sebastian rubbed his face as reality came crashing down on him like a bucket of ice water. He had been too tired to head back to his common room last night and had fallen asleep in the Undercroft after Elsie had left.
As if to confirm his misfortune, the nutcracker she had gifted him was gingerly tucked under the crook of his arm, still transfigured to look like the girl who currently stood in front of him eyeing him curiously.
He would have laughed at the idea that she referred to his wet dream as a goddamn nightmare had he not still been so fucking hard, left to wrestle with the infuriating ache of incompletion.
Sebastian cleared his throat and muttered a thank Merlin to his last night's self that he had thought to cover himself with a blanket, lest she be subjected to his current state when she had only been trying to check on him and make sure he was okay.
"Uh, yeah. A nightmare," he grumbled, lowering his gaze to hide the heat that was beginning to creep up his neck and along his cheeks. "That's all. M'fine now."
She raised an eyebrow skeptically, and he knew she had good reasons to wonder if he was telling the truth — especially considering he could barely look at her. Not without imagining all of the unholy acts that his dream self had been moments away from —
"I guess the nutcracker didn't help ward off the evil spirits after all," she teased.
The nutcracker. His face reddened further at the memory of Elsie's desperate cries that would forever be branded into his memory.
"Are you sure you're okay?" She reached out to brush her hand along his forehead. "You're looking a bit flushed –"
He smacked her hand away, one touch further from losing himself right in front of her. "I-I'm fine! Just...got a bit warm down here, is all."
It was a blatantly obvious lie, considering he had slept in the Undercroft, which was always perpetually cold. Thankfully, she didn't question him further.
"Well, if you're alright, then get up soon," Elsie said, interrupting his immensely impure thoughts as she turned on her heel to leave. "Ominis is meeting with us outside the Great Hall to exchange gifts." She wagged a finger at him in mock warning, the sly smile on her face reminding him all too much of his dream, and he suppressed another shudder. "And don't be late. A bad back from sleeping on the couch is not a good enough excuse to miss Christmas."
He only offered a curt nod in response.
When the sounds of her footsteps receded, Sebastian flopped back on the couch, once again left alone with his miserable frustrations. The 'Elsie' nutcracker still lay on the couch next to him as if to taunt him, reminding him of what he had been so close to enjoying and what he could never have. He angrily batted it to the floor before grabbing one of the cushions, bringing it to his face, and smothering a mortified, unending scream.
Happy fucking Christmas to me.
#*hides forever*#I had this posted on AO3 and Wattpad for a while#but I could never work up the nerve to post it here#so uhhhh#I'm so sorry#stay feral everyone#hogwarts legacy#sebastian sallow#hogwarts legacy mc#sebastian sallow x fmc#sebastian sallow x mc#sebastian sallow smut#elsie corvin#hogwarts legacy fanfiction#hogwarts legacy fandom#hogwarts legacy fanfic#smut oneshot
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We want want a apology 😭😭😭😭
SAY IT WAS JUST A DREMA PLEASEE
"You cheated on me"
Them if you told them that you had a dream that they cheated on you. Ft. Andrew Marston, Kayson Mayer, Isaac Rhoades, Xanthus Claiborne, and Elias (I've been also thinking about making this after I dreamt of Kayson cheating on me with my clone and having a baby with them. Told oomfie @xzhdjsj and they said that they had the same dream but it's Xanthus and Dontis. So I decided to make one for all of them. Thank you for this request!)
Andrew Marston
Waking up after that dream felt heartwrenching, as if it opened a pandora box filled with your fears and insecurities. Rolling over and not seeing Andrew on your side did not help the situation. You sat up with a sigh, the dream— nightmare replayed in your mind.
"Good morning," Andrew greeted you with a soft smile as he continued to prepare breakfast.
You gave him a weak smile as you sat down, which concerned him. "Is everything okay, darling?" He tilted his head, placing the breakfast on the table before sitting beside you.
"I had a dream where you cheated on me," You sighed, defeat evident in your voice.
"Oh, darling, no. I would never do that," He held your hand, kissing the back of it– a gesture that you always found endearing. "I have fought for you— for us. Abandoning you for someone that I would never love as much as you is not just foolish, but also beyond ridiculous. You have my heart, my body, and my soul. And you will always have it."
"It's just… it felt so real. The thought of it feels so scary," You ran your fingers through your hair, feeling the hurt that the dream made you feel once more.
Andrew nodded in understanding, "I understand that. I believe that I'd be upset too if I dreamt of that in a way. But I assure you that this heart only belongs exclusively to you. Reality is different from dreams."
The knife that seems to be lodged in your heart seems to be pulled out. You gave him a smile, feeling foolish for doubting a man who wants your best interest at heart. "Thank you, Andrew," You intertwined your fingers with his, thumb caressing the back of his hand.
"I love you and only you. Always remember that." He spoke, sealing his promise with a soft loving kiss.
Kayson Mayer
"What?! Why would I do that?" Kayson gasped as the words left your mouth.
"You did!"
For a second he looked horrified at the actions that he did not commit, his mouth slightly agape and his brows furrowed. He turned to you, "I-Is it because of my work? You know that I'm only doing it for the tips, right?"
"I know that, Kayson. It doesn't have to reflect what you did in reality."
Kayson almost frowned at your statement, "Then why?"
"I don't know… maybe it's me? I need to do some introspection, though I feel like I know the reason why," You gave him a smile that did not reach your eyes, regretting that you opened this conversation with your clueless— almost innocent boyfriend.
He nodded in understanding before speaking once again, "If it helps, I don't see myself loving someone else. The prospect of spending the rest of my life with you is something that I am looking forward to. Not with others. Just you and you only. You're my first and my last. Understood?"
You gave him a small nod, smiling at his assurance, "Understood."
Kayson let out a sigh of relief, "Good, because I don't want you to think that I'm not loyal or something.
Isaac Rhoades
"Would you cheat on me?" You asked, breaking the afternoon silence.
Isaac's brow furrowed at the sudden question, "Did I do something?"
"No– uh, not particularly. No," You rambled, not knowing how to start this conversation with this topic to your rational and logical lover. Somehow, you're sure that if you said that he betrayed you in your dream he'd laugh at the concept. But since you started it, there's no going back.
"What happened?"
You bit your lips, thinking of a way to phrase the situation without sounding ridiculous. "W-Well, I had a dream where you cheated on me. Look, I know it's ridiculous and so silly. But it's bothering me so—"
He stood up, cupping your cheeks, "I guess we reached that point of our relationship," Isaac chuckled softly. "To answer that question: no, I will not cheat on you. Never."
You looked at him once more, tracing the sincerity of his statement, "Really? You promise?"
"Yes, really. I promise," Isaac smiled, kissing your forehead before holding you in his arms, "You're my only one. I will never break your trust or betray you in any way."
"I love you, Isaac."
"And I love you too."
Xanthus Claiborne
"You seem mad. What happened?" He closed the book as you walked in the room.
You huffed, sitting across him, "Well, good morning to you too."
"Please, enough with games. Have you forgotten that I can feel what you feel? You can't hide that much from me," he spoke with a hint of smugness in his tone. So irritating.
You rolled your eyes. "Nothing. It's stupid." You muttered, not wanting to give him an opportunity to laugh at you or find you ridiculous. His views towards humans are already demeaning enough and you don't want to fuel it.
"I won't laugh," He spoke, urging you to let your thoughts out.
"It's stupid."
"But it's bothering you."
"Yeah, cause you're bothering me."
"Come on, love."
"Fine, you cheated on me in my dream!"
Xanthus blinked out of shock at your admission. You can feel his confusion and you know that he can feel your embarrassment. He let out an abrupt chuckle, "What?"
"Yeah, whatever. Laugh," You scoffed, turning your back from him.
"I'm not laughing at you, I'm laughing at the context," despite his explanation, you refused to look at him. "To clarify, I will not do that especially with what we have. I want to spend the rest our lives together happy. Betraying you, especially when you are my heart, is beyond absurd."
He pats the space beside him, "Now come here." With a huff, you obeyed, flopping on the couch and still avoiding his gaze.
He cupped your cheek, making sure that you're staring at him. "Our time, though limited, is too precious to me to tarnish with doing such thing. So, no, I will not cheat on you. That dream of you is false and you should always remember that I love you and only you."
Elias
"You cheated on me."
Elias looked at you, laughing at the statement. But his laugh faded as your face remained unchanging, realizing how serious you were. He paused his game, "Are you for real?"
You nodded, "I am for real."
"What? Where did you get that?!"
"In my dreams."
He looked at you with a deadpan expression, in disbelief how you believed your dreams over him. "Seriously?"
"Yes, seriously."
Elias ran rubbed his face with his hand, "Babe, there's no way that you believe that." He turned to you with a huff, "You know that I am monitored, right?"
"That's your response?!"
"W-Well, I'm only saying! Like, you have proof that I don't sneak or hide something. It's not worth the risk," He babbled, which got a glare from you.
"Not only that, losing you is beyond stupid for me. I don't want to fumble someone like you, especially after what we've been through," Elias spoke with a quiet tone, hiding the fact that he's now vulnerable and bare.
You chuckled, sitting on his lap and wrapping your arms around him, "You promise?"
Elias blushed at your gesture, "I promise."
With a soft chuckle, you leaned towards him, kissing him softly as he wrapped his arms around you.
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speaking of fics here’s a little blurb i wrote for this very niche character idk if you heard of him his name is yoosung Kim from mystic messenger???
a love letter to the stars
contents include: roses and star shaped chocolates.
a letter stands atop the table, with the name “yoosung” written in perfect calligraphy. you, a blonde haired man happened to be named yoosung, pick it up.
care to read?
…
dear Star boy,
on that day, my tears were blocking my vision. i could hardly insert the numbers into the pin-pad; that’s how bad i was crying, sobbing even. regardless, once i entered that apartment—
my entire life changed.
you, and your cheerful texts always made me wake up with a stupid smile across my face. i felt as if the entire night sky was at my disposal, something i can consume everyday without fail.
you, and your never ending support. i always wondered if you or the sun shined brighter— it was always you.
that day when you protected me, i broke down in tears all over again. i could not stand the sight of you in pain, for it ached me to the core.
that’s how i knew the love was real.
i could never truly understand how, or why these feelings arose in such intensity. for everything considered, you deem yourself an ordinary college boy. someone who plays video games all day, and chats with his friends like everyone else.
and you are. i could never deny it, but i suppose you underestimate everything you truly are. the stars that shine in the dead of night, or the sunshine that rays down upon me during a rainy day.
i speak in metaphors and analogies— because i cannot express my words in any other way. comparing you to the stars that glow above our bedroom is the only possible way i can describe this feeling of love.
pure, unbridled love.
suppose i sound too cheesy for even the most hopeless of romantics. perhaps you will cringe, but i know you won’t. i know you’ll find this letter just as endearing as i wrote it.
i adore everything and anything about you. the kindness, the smiles, the crying or the sadness. everything that makes you the star that you are.
i don’t think you’ll ever really understand this pure affection i hold for you. and that’s okay, because i know you hold a love for me that i will never comprehend.
you keep my heart beating, my breath alive. there isn’t a day i don’t think about your well-being.
read this letter anytime you feel down, or upset, or insecure. because now,
you know how much i truly love you, yoosung.
sincerely,
_____.
tears fall upon the paper, smearing the ink.
you quickly fold up the letter, placing it back in the position it once was.
you hiccup once, and twice.
“i can’t wait to see you again.”
fin
#yoosung kim x reader#mystic messenger#yoosung kim#mysme yoosung#yoosung mystic messenger#lovemail#i love this man so much no one understands me i fear
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Can you expand on what you mean by Baron being "too cool" to really fit a horror monster? It's a very interesting concept and I'd love to hear your thoughts. Is it that they're too active/involved/tangible and it detracts from their scariness?
I feel like I should preface this with a wall of disclaimers lmao 1/I am a hardcore, down-to-the-marrow, avid, deeply sincere horror enthusiast, esp. horror creatures. this usually means my mileage is vastly different from the average populace's, and my scaredy bone has been disintegrated by longterm exposure. most things in a piece of horror media won't scare me! so I practically never use that on its own as the scale to talk abt horror experiences, but when something does scare me it's always a special occasion to be treasured. 2/canon d20 is never really meant to be horror horror, and for good reasons: it doesn't fit the company's output, it takes a kind of carelessness in production estimation that is always a huge risk, it's often vulnerable in a way that kinda goes against how TTRPGs usually facilitates vulnerability, and for most people it's just! stressful! d20, even with the "horror-themed" seasons, generally just plays with horror tropes and stays focused in its goal of being a comedy improv tabletop theater show. 3/fantasy high's chosen system is DnD, which as I've mentioned before is before all a combat-based game system, which means the magic circle of play is drawn based on stats that facilitate and prioritize combat. want or not this affects every interaction you have in the game, and given fantasy high's concept from the ground up (everyone's going to school of DnD stuff to get better at DnD) it's doubly relevant. 4/This Is Fine I have no quarrel with this. my meters are internal, I do not ask this show to be anything it doesn't advertise itself to be, and what it is is fucking great! I like it! when I expand on this ask's question it will be like a physicist going insane in a lab. that's the mindset we're going in with.
disclaimers done. my stance on horror as a genre is that it's a utility genre rather than a content genre or a demographic genre; it is the discard of narratives. it's the trash pile. horror, above being scary, is about being ugly and messy, it's the cracks on the ground any story inevitably steps over to stay a genre that isn't horror. the genre's been around long enough to develop a codex and a general language that medias and makers and enthusiasts of the genre can use to talk about and build onto, but if you go into individual pieces there's really no unifying Horror Story. one person's beautiful life can be another's horror story, it's just how it is.
this makes The Monster a deeply intriguing piece of the genre. thing is a monster is in a decent percentage of any story - it's just when the antagonist force steps into something past a certain line traced out in the story's world. monstrousness is in pretty much every western fantasy story, it's in any story with a hero and something to vanquish or win; more than anything it's a proxy of that thing up there. the line in a narrative's world. the monster is the guard of the unknown lands, where heroic, civilized people don't tread.
what does this mean in the context of horror? the genre is about that perceived lawlessness, that "unknown land" so to say. we're in the monster's home. that's the literary context that we often walk into a horror piece with; the monster knows more than you about where you are. it may not understand you, but it holds more information than you, and with that it moves swifter than you, has more covered than you, and is more assured in its existence in this context than you. it's a struggle to catch up to it, it's nigh impossible to get one over it, and you're never sure it'll 100% work, because you just don't have the information necessary to.
with that framing you can kinda see where I'm coming from here: horror's often about the breaking of rules. I always think a monster's most effective when it breaks well-established rules of both existence and visual storytelling. think Possum (2018) or Undertale's Omega Flowey or the Xenomorph Queen - unique change in medium, unique change in graphic, unique change in design language, etc. in that sense I actually really like how canon baron plays out: they don't really function like anything else in the fantasy high universe, the bad kids have not managed to kill them when they've felled literal gods, their domain in fhjy literally introduces new mechanics to encompass their existence! from an experience design standpoint they slap mad shit. BUT! I can't help finding their character, like as a character riz (and the other bad kids, eventually) interact with, to be very... coherent? in design. this is kinda hard for me to articulate in words, it's more often a sense you get once you've looked at enough of these scrumptious fuckers, their general design and the way they show up is just kinda too clean, so to say. always kinda newly made? fresh unboxed. it, once again, makes sense for their lore - they are looking for more about themself from riz - and their function - they're an antagonist in a game experience, they're meant to be interacted with in a way that produces results and meshes with the existing magic circle - but that shininess takes away from the implied history they should have dominion over and the person they're haunting doesn't.
from another angle there is kinda something there about how put-together canon baron is as a concept; the domain they call home is riz's deep-seeded fears, extremely vulnerable things he's drawn borders around to quarantine and refused to walk into. things that from his perspective would irreversibly shatter certain pleasant fictions his world is built on top of. canon baron, While Extremely Cool, I feel is kinda too neat to connect with and signify the apocalyticized mess that'd result from this paradigm shift. the part where they're in riz's briefcase and looking through every mirror is Very Cool And Fucked Up! but ultimately the show draws a line around them as well, by making game-physical, tangible spaces they're in (the mirrors and the haunted mordred manor) and put riz and the bad kids there only when they need to confront stuff. riz is meaningfully narratively away from baron's unknown land for most of fantasy high.
with that and all of my disclaimers in mind my conclusion here is if canon baron wants to be a Horror Monster they'd have to cross way more lines. be a Lot more invasive. hence (holds up my class swap baron like a long cat)
#ask#not art#tldr a lot of fantasy high's and d20's nature plays against having a Horror horror piece in it. there's no space for emptiness or dread#that's one of the most attractive things to me about horror. the monster signifying a new world you don't understand#you see something on the deserted streets and you realize: oh. the world doesn't work how I've been thinking it does#if u've noticed how much this has in common with queer experiences haha. yeag#man. actually I should also put the I Am Not White disclaimer in there too lmao a lot of the notion of The Monstrous is! traditionally#about maintaining and upkeeping a ''social order'' (read: the powers that be)#and a Lot of Wilderness Fiction is deeply and maliciously colonialist#so when I say ''the unknown land'' and ''the monster'' I am pretty much speaking From one of those unknown lands#and from the position of one of those monsters#the fear of the monstrous is so very often the fear of being consumed by - or becoming - the monstrous yourself#and well. when you're already there in the eye of the zeitgeist. You Can Do What You Want Forever#all that to say it Is important to me that baron is made of riz's lies. even more so in this funny class swap thing I make for fun#like as a horror protag he makes me insane. he loves lines! he loves lines he drew himself. he replicates these borders in himself#that mirror the world he lives in that's so hostile to him. that kid Loves rules. he bows to even the ones that hurt him#like. u get where I'm getting to right I did make a whole comic kinda near this subject he's Already The Other#baron is a monster's monster. baron is a mirror image. GODs I cant help but wish they were messier#it's kinda why I make class swap baron to be like. an ever nearing realization. like I warble abt all this but I genuinely do also find#canon baron to be just as visually coherent and thematically perfect as riz if not more. it's hard to beat how cool the mirror stuff is#it's hard to beat that doll face in iconic visuals! I have to strike according to my strength rather than trying to beat canon#so instead of reflection it's captured moments. instead of a blank face it's the lack of one. mmm. maybe I'm just kinda breaking things#for fun also but that's My prerogative in my house awooga <3#well. thats kinda my thoughts on the general subject. thank u for listening. I will bake something soon dyou want some
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actually so evil how much of hal's internal world gets obliterated with the rewriting of his relationships with jessica and martin.
#hal jordan#empyrean posting#ok going in the tags because im not actually v confident in my understanding of his character. i read all of his 80s/90s stuff but forgot#90% of it but ANYWAY.#so much of him just does not make sense with how geoff johns characterises him and his relationships with his parents particularly the#parallax stuff simply because of how much his relationship with the guardians and their apathy/'betrayal' is influenced by hal's original#relationship with his dad. like at its heart it's pretty much the same dynamic in how hal blindly trusts and sort of idolises the guardians#despite their repeated infractions in hope of... something in return just as he had with his father and the abuse he suffered at martin's#hands. that's what makes his anger at the guardians make sense when it does show itself because the relationship parallel didn't stop there.#as with martin hal gets nothing for his devotion. he gets nothing for doing everything that's asked of him and more and it ends the same way#too: with a man in the sky burning like a newborn star. and you lose so much of that nuance and intrigue behind that if you just make#jessica the 'bad one' because!!! you cheapen it!!!!#the whole idea of hal is that he has his father's face but his mother's scars#(to me). in the sense that they both reacted to martin the same way with that cognisance of who he was as a man yet inability to pull away#because... love. both the love they had for him and the conviction that he did or could love them too. and jessica arguably did eventually#but also she didnt did she? because she held onto that notion of love till the very end. the few scraps she had she ballooned outwards until#they became the whole. but hal didnt have even that and he spent his whole life chasing it & running away from wanting it at the same time#like i think there's something so interesting to the fact that he had to be convinced that flying was what he wanted to do. how much of that#was touched by his father? the fear that he was already too much like him than he could bear to be? he already had his face now he had his#dreams and longing for the sky. how much more could he have before he began repeating the cycle?#and at the end he even had his father's death. burning in the clouds. like there's so much there and that's not even touching on how it#impacts his relationships with other heroes. not just in the sense of why did kyle clark and diana get to keep their close yet complex#relationships with their moms when hal had to lose his (although yeah why did they) but also just how he lets himself come across to them.#because it's on purpose right? that he lets them think his reflection of his father is born out of unadulterated love for a man worthy of it#? he has his father's job he wears his father's jacket he smiles his father's smile. what else are they supposed to think.#and isnt that interesting!!! that this man who is so committed to being good & just can lie so casually to people he thinks of as friends!!!#can you see how that might be his mother through and through!!! in how she might have glossed over the abuse to other people and herself!!!#can you see how in spite of it all he might want to be perceived as his father that paragon of masculinity and resent that he is not!!!#do you understand how everything he loves has been poisoned!!! im thinking of that scene where he tells bruce about watching martin die &#wouldnt it have been so much more interesting through this lens. how he is both revealing & obfuscating at once. i hate the change sm
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some men are textbook villains fr
#tw religion?#kinda need to rant.. kinda wanna explain what's going on#some ppl are part of humanity but don't know how to be humane... like the guy i started talking to almost 2 weeks ago#liked him a lot bc he was funny sickeningly sweet mature and understanding.. until he was not#tl dr version is that we somehow drifted to the topic religion and i told him im not too religious and don't believe in superstition much#i was extremely respectful and even when he said that he does believe a lot i was like 'thats cool!! different people believe in different#things!!' and at first it was a normal convo until man went all psycho on me (after one damn week!!!) and started talking about how#id have to be religious in a relationship with him.. my dude i barely know your fav food can we not talk about relationships yet#but he says he doesn't even need a woman who cooks/cleans just someone who believes.. n im like i get it but i can't change myself like that#and then guy moves to marriage and is all 'well my entire family is religious' n my mom and sister (who's 16) would be putting pressure on#you n force you to pray etc.. and I'm like???? who can force anyone to a thing like that are u kidding#things escalate and my absolute STUPID ass tells him about my deepest fkn trauma to explain what made me abandon religion bc#life just never got better and this trauma remained for yrs... and he gets so angry that he says he wants to stop talking to me just to spam#me all day next day.. he'd keep messaging me switching between 'i still want you we shouldn't throw this away i have feelings for you'#AFTER A WEEEEEEKKKK!!! and then goes back to 'i wasted my time with you you were so unnecessary im in a bad mood bc of you'#even said 'you'll never find a guy with a trauma and mindset like this. i will find a religious girl but no one will love you like that'#and the worst thing is that he told his friends and mom about the trauma i had just to spite me.. note that he promised to never tell anyone#(and then still asked for forgiveness and for me to rethink whether we want to end this after telling me 473626x he wanted to end it)#(nothing even ever started you bitchass)#also note that his mom knows my mom n basically most of my relatives.. so i was here trembling for days fearing they'd get to know about it#mom somehow convinced her to not tell anyone bc it's important to me and very very fucking personal..#but he harassed me all day - i wouldn't answer and he'd send 55 messages.. multiple missed calls like dude i got so fkn scared#my heart jumped whenever he texted he was so fkn aggressive and SO MEAN#'you just needed to adjust and we would've been okay' 'tell me are u gonna fkn be religious or not????' 'you ruined everything' kinda mean#i just :') it was the worst time and i don't think i've ever seen someone degrade me so much or make me feel this defective#but.. it's finally over. his mom called my mom and mine was like pls teach him some manners.. n since i couldn't and wouldn't text him back#and literally avoided whatsapp bc of him she ended it all for me and now it's hopefully done forever#anyway i saw jks gcf performance yday n him singing still with you put a genuine smile on my face.. ill stick to THAT boyfriend honestly lol#def gonna delete later#but ty for reading if u did <3
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who made the mtt. and no i dont mean like who made the CONCEPT of the murder time trio (because i know who that is. touken kamui i thank you for the fangame every day :3) but like,,,, who decided to just randomly pair these 3 together?? like whaaaat.......
part of me wants to believe it was rahafwabas with the whole bad sanses group thingy being made with those 3 in there and then like. the fangame just gave them specifically a seperate group name. but STILL,,,,, where did this trio come from
#so rain of dust got a reboot a couple of months ago and now triple the insanity did too#and my newest favorite detail in the video is that theres a section where dust and killer's sprites are#glitching out. wanna know why??? BECAUSE HORROR GOT DELETED MTT BETTA THEY ALWAYS TOGETHER#insanity is just a horror replacement i fear i dont understand at all why he's even in the trio#WHY IS IT A TRIO. IF THERE'S A SUPPOSED FOURTH. THATS A SQUAD BRO#istg he was just added there for like shock factor or smth bc horror wasn't powerful enough to keep up#it saddens me so much to have him here but also that means it saddens kist as well :3#and killer and dust's sprites are red while insanity's is purple#YOU WILL NEVER BE HIM INSANITY!!!! YOU WILL NEVER BE HORROR I FEAR#idc what anyone says idc how many people shit on the mtt fangsme concept i LOVE IT#its like one of the few mtt content i get that doesnt involve nightmare#like. ok. bad sanses cool. i however could not give two shits about the oil monstrosity and cross#please i need my own little seperate island to myself where only i get to enjoy the mtt reboot songs#cycle of endless death against a common foe. they HAVE to learn how to work together no matter what#its not like they can just give up (looking at you horror) because the human will keep on killing again and again#waaait waaaaait in an mtt fangame dynamic horror would also experience the genocides :3 awww shared truama :3#isnt it so badass that horror literally had to get DELETED because he couldnt die and therefore the human got mad#ok fine maybe im glad theres at least a reason my boy got removed from the trio but still#the human can kill dust and killer as many times as they want. the other two will keep trying to stop them bc of dt#but horror CANT die. theres no fun in that. and one day he'll just give up. that's not amusing at all#i find it nice. a cute little parallel between the 3 :3 now horror gets his own personal genocidal human experience#man the mtt fangame human is smart asf like. DAMN. i forgot bro could just erase the trio#anyways i think that it's a good concept IDC. why are they stuck in the endless loop of human kill human reset? idk lemme check#i forgot that gaster was involved in this fuckass au LMAO but at least he's not THAT involved. more like a background character#the satsujinki was created only for murder. does it have any other thoughts? any other wants and needs? i love it so much my baby#and then the phase after that just consists of my trio emptily operating off the faintest instincts they have#after all this time spent together fighting do they not instinctually long for eachother?#me imagining these empty husks to hold hands and hug. as if theyd only truly be able to coexist peacefully with their minds lost#but at least theyre together. at least theyre always together forever :3 even if they don't know anything else#tricule rant
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ANYWHO goodnight tumblr i'll be back on the art grind tomorrow i think 🙏
#haunted ecosystem#i'll take a burst of creativity in a different form than usual than the burnout slump i've been in for a few months#<- part of why my fandom stuff has taken a smidge of a backseat#dont get me wrong i am still very excited about my fandoms im just having fun off in oc hell (affectionate)#its nice to just be able to create and not really worry about perception. and also i feel Less bad about just throwing ocs into the wringer#((blame the fact i've been REALLY interested in whump recently and i have been. fixated. on one of my characters.))#and ALSO i've been! rekindling my flame for wtds. i've been putting off thinking about it since that fic got.#nothing bad happened? but it was still very devastating that somebody who i considered a friend from that fic just. evaporated.#but i'm gonna finish that fic for him :) even if it takes a year. even if it's the one thing i finish ever. it'll be wtds.#for where its gotten me and the fact its what got me out of my shell and is the reason i trust that my writing is good!#i used to really hate rereading my work. i catch flaws that are obvious to me. but that fic. i just think about how *good* the story is#that story means. a lot to me? as a person? like the main character is not a good person. but people care about him anyway.#and there are so many little things. so many sentiments. so much that is a love letter to people who've done bad but learnt to do better#because. god knows i wasnt a good person even just a few years ago. and maybe i see myself in him a bit.#he came from a place of paranoia and fear and pain. and maybe its a good thing that i've found it difficult to write him recently.#because god. i've been HAPPY. even with the rough moments and bad days. i've been happy. i mean fuck.#my birthday's what. ten days away? god damn man. i'm going to be 18. that's an achievement.#i want to look the kid who thought it was over at half my age and tell him we fucking made it. and there are more years to come.#there's a life ahead. even if it's going to be a bitch. even if it's going to be tough. there's love in your heart and people who care and#you're going to fucking live and you're going to feel better one day. you have people to meet properly and thank and cherish.#because for every day it feel like the world's ending there are a dozen more where the sun shines just the right way through the rain#and you can't help but smile because it's just so god damn beautiful.#and fuck it. you're sick. your hands hurt and your legs don't work right. and it's tough sometimes. but you have people who understand.#you have people who honest to god love you for who you are and appreciate your company. and 18 is the first step.#you've spent half your life unlearning things and you've spent half your life relearning how to be what YOU want to be#and if you're a mediocre artist and passionate writer then you'll be fucking great at that. taking the time to learn when it strikes you.#and maybe this is for me. but its also for anybody reading it too. please god if there's one thing you take from this let it be that#somebody out there cares. *I* care. god i care. even if we've never spoken proper i care about you.#i practically have a list of everybody i see in my inbox. i love seeing familiar names show up. i.#i dont know how to neatly wrap up this tag ramble. but. i am so damn full of love it hurts sometimes. its scary to be happy but thats ok!
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The worst thing about suffering is that it still hurts when the danger is over but no one cares about it anymore because it shouldn't hurt. No one will ever say "I'm sorry that happened to you" especially when they barely say "I'm sorry that's happening."
#Okay to tb btw all the personal stuff is in the tags#Like. Not eating for a week because you couldn't get groceries hurts#and people will say 'oof sorry that's happening' but then#after you're able to get food no one will ever say 'I'm sorry that happened' even though you think about it and hurt from it constantly.#No one will ever say ':( that must have been so hard' because you're fine now right???? No psychological damage there?????#This example is stupid but I do think about it every time I feel hungry. I told people I wasn't able to get groceries#and there was no food in my house. And they said. Oof.#Instead of idk Oh God Are You Okay ??#No one cares when you've been abused your entire life and behave the way you do out of genuine terror because your brain is fucked forever#They don't say 'I'm sorry that happened it must have been really scary to turn you into Such An Asshole. I pity you like a dog :('#Speaking of man everyone loves fucked up abused terrified dogs and wants to be the one who makes them open up#And shows them that people can be good and kind and that touch doesn't have to hurt#But everyone is scared of fucked up abused terrified people#Humans are capable of harm even more than dogs and fear is understandable but.#Can you please call me good boy and shush me and tell me nothing's going to hurt me and let me curl up on your lap#And not hit me if I get scared and start to growl and feed me good and take me on walks and play with me#Even though I'm not very fun to play with and I'm still learning what's fun and what's mean and what's a toy and what's a hand#Plleeeaaase don't be jealous of a dog that doesn't eat good don't say 'tch he's so thin what am I doing wrong'#I want to eat good and grow and gain fat and be warm and be comfortable I don't want this#Don't say 'if abused dogs don't eat good then I don't deserve to either' no no no no eat good so you can take care of us both#Please please please I learned so many tricks to make people happy and call me smart but I don't actually know how to do anything I'm#Literally like such a stupid dog it takes me like one day of no one paying attention to me for me to become un-housebroken#I make a lot of mistakes even though I know better or I really should know better#And sometimes do things wrong on purpose to get attention either yelling or showing me how to do it right#But most of the time I genuinely don't know how to do stuff because I was never taught or I was taught and#My previous owners said 'this is how it is. It is this way because it is and it is forever. The answer is Because.'#'now quit asking repetitive questions before I pop you'#If I do something Because and not know the reason why I'm doing it that's not learning that's acting#Especially habits taught specifically to hurt me and not being allowed to question it or know why I'm being hurt#Oh my god I acted out so much when I was younger and all my friends were so disgusted and hurt by me and yelled at me every day
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im normal about silly characters (lie)
#i think of them in a way that defines their complexity to me#and then i get sad#this goes for characters in general or ones i used in aus or ocs like like#the classical lil vampy and priest you guys seem to love a lot (that i haven't drawn in a while)#just thinking of them shaking and crying throwing up i want their relationship so complex and unhealthy for the both of them#i want them to be in love but a love that's like roses with thorns so the beauty you feel when it starts out covers up the inevitable damag#of holding on too long#FUCKINF HEAR ME OUUUTT GOF DMANNA IT#like im gonna barf here#Monty being in love with the vampire but the fear and anxiety of being caught with a man and a VAMPIRE no less is so suffocating#the anxiety and fear of it all causes him so much stress he has to break it off but it doesn't explain himself well enough for his lover so#so there's a mixup which leads our poor vampire to feeling betrayed and left behind#because for once in his life someone saw him for himself and not just some demon#and it's so hard to understand what Monty is going through because he'll never understand. he'll never understand the weight#the weight of upholding religious ideals and living up to what other people see in you#so he resentful and hates Monty for leaving him#and yeah#im normal
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As far as my favourite animals go, I am obligated to put my two silly baby tabby cars, Benny (image 2) and Jenny (image 1)
But my favourite animal is the peacock mantis shrimp. One creature should not have evolved to have such rage in its body. I'm not going to attach a photo cos it looks a bit strange and I wouldn't want to scare you without warning :D
Your crochet things are amazing! I love them so much! Have a great day!
Thank you!! Benny and Jenny are absolutely adorable, and I don't think I've ever seen a cat with side stripes quite like Benny's. It almost looks like he has a big square on his side? I admit I haven't spent much time with cats though so idk if that's a common cat thing lol Peacock mantis shrimp are so cool! I appreciate you not wanting to scare me but as long as the animal photo isn't gory I have yet to encounter any animal pictures that scare me ^_^
#ask away!#some days require cute animal pictures#antignocchiphase#cats#I love cats but my dad is very allergic#so I love them from afar lol#I have spent enough time around cats to be decent at understanding their body language and to know how to pet them#but not enough to know common coat variations besides like solid color vs tabby vs tuxedo kind of stuff#animal pictures don't scare me but oh man the sounds walrus make when eating when they are out of the water???#absolutely horrifying! I mean really cool from a 'what is happening' kind of perspective#but I heard it as a child and it was one of those like...foundational things you can't pry out of your memory#I guess the emotion there wasn't really fear so much as like... the feeling of 'don't like that'
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i think im in big trouble
#i hate history so much#i think i once made a post about ''the reason i hate it is because i dont understand it but im getting there and economics is interesting#and politics is too i just hate it because i dont understand it'' bc i genuinely thought so. no i just hate it so fucking much#i have a presentation next week about a current event and i have to answer ''how does this affect canada'' and its gotta talk about either#economics or politics and i know NOTHING about that. literally 0. today this kid got humiliated because his current event was about a#school shooting recently and it was like social psychological soething and no econ/politics and i wanted to die#its gonna be me next week im actually going to cry i hate history guys like. i'd rather physics and thats saying SOMETHING. it also doesnt#help that my history teacher is like. bullshitting everything. he's so smart dont get me wrong. one of the most philosophical and smartest#men i've met but holy jesus fuck he can't teach. he can talk and talk and talk but he doesnt teach you how to get those conclusions and#actually apply them to like stuff. yeah i have to talk about the economy and shit but how do i do that. i can memorize thigns he says but#that's not understanding???? there's an alternate history teacher and im actually going to cry bc hes an actual teacher and he also likes#me very much. (he is literally paying for my physics tutoring...). anyyways that's that.#also at work i won an award for personnel with most customer 5/5 stars#like god i love my job#and today i might or might not have purposely flirted with a man so that he could do the survey that gives me 5/5#lol#produce guy is actually a robot i fear. either that or he genuinely doesn't like me because
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well nvm gets scared. made a poll but now im scared bc its music based
#i have this horrible horrible fear ill mention liking a song and everyone will be like Oh no that song sucks and actually you shoild kys#for liking that song. and then i explode into 5billion pieces... sigh#N ITS NOT LIKE THIS IS EVEN A 'CRINGE' BAND OR ANYTHING. i do lidten to 'cringe'#bands but. whatever#and ik its dumb yk. like its music i like it thats fine.. but i do get embarassed t say im a lemon demon fan or whatever#bc ppl associate lemon demon fans with being So annoying (understandable)#but like. idk man i just like th songs... etc#lemon demon isnt th subject of th poll i made btw. its literally a rly well loved album and band and stuff im just so scares...#its hard being a girlie who loves music n loves talkin abt music while also being So incredibly scared of ppl making fun of my music taste#ITS SO DUMBBBBB ITS SO DUMB. IT DOESNT EVEN MATTER IF PPL THINK MY MUSIC TASTE IS ANNOYING BC IT MAKESME HAPPY!!#THATS ALL THAT MATTERS AND MUSIC IS SUBJECTIVE but still im so sensitive abt it. and its dumb as hell bc it isnt even that like. idk..#and im th same way with most of my interests likee. partially i dont post abt my interests bc i Fucking hate fandom so badly#another reason is bc likee. idk i dont consume media that much atm... I wanna start reading more books n watching more things tho#but th main reason is like. Sigh ig it ties into th hating fandom thang i dont want ppl to think of me as being In a fandom for something#not that im into anything heinous yk. but like i get scared publically being like Yeah im into cookie run. or whatever.bc theres like#already a preconceived notion of cr fans NOT THAT LIKE.. NIT THAT FANS OF THINGS R OPRESSED RJGNFJGNNG#but like yk. i get worried ppl will see that im a cr fan and think im one of Thise cr fans#not just cr..other things as well but crs th most like.controversial ig...#but even w/ fandoms that dont have baggage and stuff i dont want ppl t see that im interested in it and have that like. idk idk#i dont want ppl to think of me as A fan of a thing bc im my own person. idk if that even makes sense i think i sound dumb...#i just get rly rly rly worried abt peoples perception of me n like.every thing i do i imagine how ppl perceive that and how it changes#their view of me.yk... it freaks me out rly rly rly bad#whatttever tho. abd yes i understand i sakd Ya i wouldnt publically say im a fan of x thing..And then said it publically#but tags arent public to me.. this is my special zone for my besties only..#whatttever. if uve read this far ill judt tell you th poll is for umm. favorite song off of how to be a human being by glass animals#its likee. one of the Very few albums where i have the entire thing on my playlist.. th knly other one i cn think of that i dont Need to#get rid of JFFBHF is daft punks discovery ....#i have a couple other full albums but theyre from when i ws#15. so like..#whatever. idk . its dumb t be freaked out over a poll but its also bc Since i dont post abt my interests n stuff im like. well im nt llowed
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