#i love this gif so much. has added so much light to these past two days
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sexilene · 4 months ago
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boy nextdoor!jj is so hot hehe him choking me while he fucks me in a matting press AHHHH. want to see him smirking down at me through his floppy blonde hair wet with sweat as he puts his other hand over my mouth so my parents don’t wake up :3
ohmygoodness stop it right now. the way i smiled reading thisss pleaseeee!!! adding this to the kinktober list cuz why not!! #19 (ignore any spelling mistakes sorry lol!)
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anotha little boynextdoor!jj x girlnextdoor!reader thought ⋆౨ৎ˚⟡˖ ࣪
when your boyfriend does manage to sneak in through the window by climbing on a tree…he usually spends the night. your parents go to sleep fairly early, like soon after dinner early, so that gives you and jj some alone time in the dark without worrying about one of your parents randomly entering your room to check on you. it's happened before and though jj is getting better at running to find a hiding spot, it's is not ideal.
your parents figure you like to fall asleep to the tv you have in your room watching your little movies, and that it’s the movies making the little sounds. while that is true on some nights, this time around both the tv, you and your boyfriend are making sounds.
“jay!” you squeal when he throws your legs over his shoulders, bending down again to press his flushed hard cock deeper into you. “shhh, gotta be quiet, like a little mouse, quiet okay?” he shushes you, your little movie still on in the background, providing a decent amount of light to illuminate his features and yours.
“uh huh…okay” you nod, still a little dazed due to the past two orgasms he gave you by fingering you a little over 20 minutes ago. once he pushes into your puffy pulsing heat, he wraps a strong hand around your throat and starts to squeeze down, causing you to furrow your eyebrows and grip the hand on your neck. jj is practically trapping you there, underneath him getting incessantly plowed by his big dick.
“wanna hold my hand?” he offers you the hand that’s not on your neck, you mewl at his sweetness, he’s still trying to make you feel as loved and safe as possible even if he is fucking you like he hates you.
“mhmm!”
“here babydoll” he takes your hand in his, the sounds of skin slapping skin faintly bouncing off the walls, not wanting to risk waking the whole neighborhood up with the way he really wants to be pounding into you right now.
your lips are swollen from his kisses, drool threatening to escape the corners of your lips, tear stains on your cheeks glisten due to the lighting, your hair all messy, and still jj thinks you look like the prettiest little thing.
“y’look cute, c’mere” your boyfriend grunts, pulling you up by your neck for another kiss, “harder jayjay, please harder!” you whisper, needy as ever.
“i know babe,” jj chokes you harder and uses his other hand to rub your clit in fast circles, “g’nna cum again!” you squeal out.
“gonna wake up your parents, hold on,” he takes his hand off your neck and covers your mouth to keep you from making any more loud noises, as much as he loves to hear them….
“alright kittie cat no more screamin’ or im gonna have to press your face into the pillow,” he whispers in your ear.
“mph- nmm” your words muffled by his big hand,
“yeaaaah good girl, almost done baby, just keep takin’ it…” he bends your legs back further into a mating press and starts thrusting in again. the position causing his dick to go in deeper and hit the spots that make you melt. that combined with the way both your bodies all sticky with sweat and how he smells all salty and musky, makes you roll your eyes back and then squeeze them shut.
“h-ha…shit, y’so warm and wet holy fuck i love you so much.” jj grits through his teeth, bringing that hand back down to play with your pulsing clit. you whine into his hand as you cum hardddd on his dick, squeezing him so hard he can barely pull out to thrust in again.
“shhh sh sh, there you go…reaaal yummy huh?” he coos, bringing that hand back up to choke you again, “baby girl likes getting choked huh? dont’cha?”
you try and make a sound but you just can’t with how hard he’s squeezing your neck. “yeeeeaaah she likes it, little pussy gushes on me when i squeeze your throat like…thisss…” he gives a few final hard sloppy thrusts, letting go of your neck to give you a breathing break, sweat dripping down his chest, before he shoots hot strings of cum into your cervix.
he doesn’t pull out to keep all that cum stuffed in you and bends down to give you wet sloppy ‘good job’ kisses, whispering an ‘i love you’ after every kiss.
“think we were pretty quiet this time?” your boyfriend whispers looking into your eyes, and all you can do is give him doe eyes, pout and let out a little “mph!” ⋆𐙚₊˚⊹♡
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pimpnchips · 6 months ago
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In the night
Tara Carpenter x Fem!Reader
Warnings: Jenna hypnosis (makes you extremely gay).
((Also, part of this was from my wattpad story! it’s deleted now, I moved over here instead)
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Summary: Tara plays hard to get..but not for long
The way her hair flowed past her shoulders, how her smile lights the room up, even a single glance from her made your stomach fill with butterflies.
"Just talk to her" Mindy says, popping a chip in her mouth while looking in your direction.
You shake your head, "no it's not that easy, this is a game to her"
Mindy rolled her eyes at your lame excuse for not talking to tara, she had been trying to get you two together by playing both sides, but the both of you were just as stubborn as the other.
"You're just as dumb as you look right now"  looking you up and down staring at your basic black outfit. It wasn't a bad choice but it wasn't mindy's ideal outfit.
"shut the fuck up, what do you know about style" You retort back "you never put enough effort in anything"
Mindy snorted, "are we fighting or flirting?" She teased, sticking her tongue out at you. You look at her raising your eyebrow, "no way in hell would I ever flirt with you"
While the two were busy bickering, Tara walked over and jumped in your lap wrapping an arm around your neck like she always did.
She looked in your face and smiled, "Hi" she said softly, resting her forehead against yours. The butterflies in your stomach multiplied tenfold.
You looked into the brown eyes you have come to love so much, "hey" you replied  smiling back, pulling her close. You heard Mindy clear her throat next to you, reminding the both of you she was still there.
You turned away from Tara just long enough to give her a glare, before turning back to face her again. "Uh, do you wanna get outta here?" You asked, "go for a walk or something?"
She smiled, "Yea, sure, that'll be nice"
You both got up, ready to go outside the apartment complex to go for a walk. Even though it was night the city still looked beautiful, so why not go and enjoy it.
But of course mindy always has something to say so she interjected, "I clearly made this happen" she says, pointing her fingers at the two.
You could only roll your eyes at her and grab onto Tara's hand as the two of you walked towards the exit. You didn’t even realize your action and immediately panicked , trying to remove your hand.
“It’s okay, we can hold hands” She smiles.
You nod, taking deep breaths as you tried to calm yourself down. But you couldn’t help the stupid smile on your face or the blush that spread on your cheeks, especially after seeing the way she was smiling and blushing as well. You don’t let your thoughts take over you though, focusing on enjoying the time walking with Tara instead.
Tara pulled you closer to her, “so, what’s been up with you lately?,” she asks, tilting her head slightly. It’s the same action that drives you crazy when you first met, it took all you power not to grab her cheeks and kiss her senseless.
But you resisted it since you weren’t completely sure what she wanted.
“Not much, just work, mostly. Why?,” you said looking at her. The two of you stopped walking and stared at each other.
“I heard that you hooked up with one of the girls in our film class” She said quietly, but the look on her face seemed as if she was upset about it. Her tone sounded off, almost bitter.
You felt bad for making her feel like that, “oh…uh…yeah, we did” you said nodding your head ‘but she’ll never be you’, you added mentally.
Tara looks up at you, seductively almost , “you couldn’t have..just waited for me?” She says slowly. She leans in closer, “I know you wanna fuck me”
she purrs huskily, her breath hot on your skin. You felt your heart beat pick up its pace, a shiver run through your body as your eyes met hers once more.
She smirks at your reaction, leaning back slightly.
This time she doesn’t stop to admire the view. Before you knew it, she had pushed you against the wall, pressing herself up to yours. You could smell her perfume, mixed with the smell of the city pollution.
You couldn’t move, you couldn’t think. All you could focus on was how soft her lips felt against yours. Her arms wrapped tightly around your neck. She tasted sweet, like strawberries. You closed your eyes, allowing yourself to feel the warmth radiating off of her. It was intoxicating.
You pulls back slightly, “ I knew you wanted me” you whispered, your confidence coming back.
“Yeah, yeah. Now come here and fuck me” She whispers back, grabbing onto you waist. Your eyes locked, not daring to break contact. She laughs softly, moving her mouth down your jawline. This was definitely going to be better than any night ever. You were addicted to this girl.
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reidmarieprentiss · 3 months ago
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Red: Part Two
Summary: Spencer is very happy with you, his new girlfriend. You two are experiencing firsts together, making each other happy as can be. But, secrets tend to unravel when you try to keep them from your loved ones. Your past haunts you everyday, Spencer knows that, and yet, he does nothing to let you into his. Falling in love is not for the weak. Neither is being forced out of it.
Pairing: Spencer Reid x fem!reader
Category: angst, fluff, smut (18+)
Warnings/Includes: heartbreak, angst, talks of drug use, talks of overdose, past death of parents, sister is an addict, keeping secrets, so much angst, smut (18+) additional warnings under the cut, Spencer's past addiction, drug tests, protective Erin Strauss, weed, alcohol, no happy ending
Word count: 28.9k
a/n: soooo fucking sorry for this one ://// it was never going to have a happy ending ... tbh if you don't want to cry maybe just stick to the first part !! — unedited NEVER be afraid to call me out!!
can't lie i put so many projects on hold just to write this beast -- i worked on it EVERY day
main masterlist part one
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Additional warnings: oral (f & m), grinding, finishing in pants (m), fingering (f), protected PinV
The entire jet was filled with a quiet buzz of curiosity as everyone watched Spencer, who was completely absorbed in his phone, a rare, soft smile playing on his lips. His eyes rolled over the screen, scanning a picture he took of you with a level of care that had the whole team captivated.
JJ finally broke the silence. “Okay, Reid,” she said with an amused grin, leaning forward in her seat. “Tell us what’s going on, or I’m taking your phone.”
Spencer’s head snapped up, startled by the sudden attention. His cheeks flushed pink as he realized the entire team had been watching him, all waiting for an explanation. He fumbled with the phone, quickly pocketing it as if trying to hide something, but the grin on his face gave him away. 
"Uh, it’s nothing," Spencer mumbled, clearly flustered, but the team wasn’t buying it for a second.
Morgan smirked, leaning back in his seat. "Oh, come on, Pretty Boy. This has gone on long enough. Spill."
JJ raised an eyebrow, exchanging a knowing glance with Prentiss. "We’ve all seen that look before, Reid."
Spencer sighed. "It’s… it’s someone I’ve been seeing," he admitted sheepishly, his eyes flicking down to his phone for a moment before looking back at the team.
The jet erupted with teasing laughter and questions, all of them delighted by the revelation.
“Well, Reid, you have to introduce us!” Emily chimed in, a playful grin spreading across her face.
“Yeah, Pretty Boy," Derek added with a teasing smirk. "When can we meet the missus?”
Spencer, for once, didn’t shy away from the idea. In fact, he felt a spark of excitement at the thought of introducing you to the team. He was proud that you were his girlfriend, and the idea of his closest friends meeting you didn’t fill him with the usual nerves. But there was one thing Spencer couldn’t deny—he knew the moment they saw the way he looked at you, they’d instantly know how deeply in love he was. 
And as much as he was ready for the team to meet you, that kind of vulnerability scared him just a little. 
He smiled softly, trying to play it cool. "I’m sure you’ll meet her soon enough," he said, but inside, he was already thinking about how perfect it would be to bring you into his world.
“Y/N, darling,” Spencer mused with a soft smile, his eyes twinkling as he watched you across the dinner table. The warmth in his voice instantly caught your attention.
You giggled, squeezing his hand as it rested on the table, your thumb brushing against his skin. “Yes, dear?”
Spencer hesitated only for a second, his tone still light but a little more serious now. “Would you like to meet my friends?”
You paused, your heart skipping a beat at the question. A slight anxiety began to crawl up your throat, and you cleared it, trying to sound casual. “Your—um, your work friends?” you asked, though the weight of the moment hung between you.
Spencer nodded, his eyes soft and understanding, as if he could already sense your nerves. "Yeah," he said, his thumb brushing over the back of your hand reassuringly. "The team. They’ve been dying to meet you."
You swallowed, feeling the weight of the moment settle in. The thought of meeting Spencer’s team made your heart race—not just because they were profilers, but because Rossi would likely recognize you. Maybe even Hotch. It had been years since either of them had seen you, but the possibility hung in the air. You weren’t sure if they’d bring it up, and you certainly weren’t ready to share that part of your life with Spencer. Not yet.
But then, you looked into Spencer’s eyes. The genuine excitement and pride he held for you was undeniable. It was clear he wanted this—wanted you to meet the people who were like family to him. The idea of disappointing him tugged at you, and despite the nerves gnawing at your chest, you couldn’t help but smile softly.
He reached across the table, gently squeezing your other hand too, offering comfort in that simple gesture. His eyes searched yours for a moment, as if sensing something in your hesitation but choosing to let it pass, trusting you to open up when you were ready.
The thought of Spencer’s trust in you helped calm some of the swirling anxiety. You took a deep breath, forcing yourself to push aside the weight of your past for now.
You took a deep breath, forcing a small smile. "I’d love to meet them," you said, though you could still feel the flutter of nerves in your stomach.
Spencer’s smile widened, his eyes lighting up. “You’re going to love them,” he assured you, his voice full of warmth. “And they’re going to love you too."
Later that evening, Spencer’s fingers traced gentle circles along your back, his touch soothing as you lay against his chest, both of you perfectly relaxed. The quiet of the evening had settled around you, a comfortable silence, until Spencer broke it with a question that caught you off guard.
“Do you have a job?” he asked.
You couldn’t help but laugh at the sudden bluntness of the question. “What?”
Spencer’s cheeks flushed as he quickly realized how it sounded. “I mean,” he corrected, his voice softer, “you never talk about work, and I—I’ve never seen you go to work. Do you work?”
You smiled, lifting your chin from his chest so you could look up at him, your gaze meeting his. “Yes, I have a job, Spencer.”
He looked down at you with his brows raised, making his chin tuck in a way that was so adorably endearing you had to fight the urge to kiss him right there. “Well, do tell, baby.”
The way he said "baby" sent a rush through you, making your heart skip and your core tighten. The new pet name caught you by surprise, and you could feel your pulse quicken. You wanted to answer his question, but something inside you hesitated. The job you had wasn’t something you brought up often, and certainly not something that most people would take lightly.
You bit your lip, your fingers absentmindedly tracing patterns on Spencer's chest as you considered your answer. “What if you think differently of me?” you teased, giving him a playful look.
Spencer chuckled softly, catching onto your teasing tone. “Depends on how you answer,” he joked back, his eyes twinkling. “But no, I would never judge you.”
You sighed dramatically, feigning annoyance. “Okay… fine,” you said, pausing for effect. “I’m a cybersecurity analyst. I just work from home.”
Spencer's face lit up with curiosity. “A cybersecurity analyst? That’s amazing,” he said, his voice full of admiration. “Why didn’t you tell me earlier?”
You shrugged, still grinning at how smoothly it had gone. “It’s not that exciting,” you replied, feeling relieved that you could finally share a bit of your work with him. "I just stare at a screen all day."
Spencer shook his head, a genuine smile on his face. “I think it's fascinating. But I guess you're right, staring at a screen is definitely something I can relate to." His fingers resumed their gentle strokes along your back, his gaze warm.
“I didn’t mean to keep it a secret,” you said softly, your fingers still tracing patterns on his chest. “I just don’t have that much to talk about. I don’t interact with anyone all day long.”
Spencer smiled, his eyes full of understanding. “It’s okay, Red,” he said, stroking his finger gently down the bridge of your nose in a soothing gesture. “You know, my friend Penelope does something similar.”
“Really?” you perked up, excitement bubbling up at the thought of having something in common with someone in Spencer’s world. Your aunt had never mentioned anyone named Penelope before, but this new information intrigued you. “What does she do?”
“She’s a technical analyst for the BAU,” Spencer explained, a fondness creeping into his tone as he spoke about Penelope. “She handles all the tech and cyber stuff for us—tracking data, finding digital footprints, that sort of thing.”
Your eyes lit up at the mention of her role. “That sounds so cool! Maybe we could exchange tips,” you laughed, already imagining the kind of work Penelope must be involved in.
“I’m so glad you want to meet them,” Spencer said softly, his voice full of relief and excitement. He breathed deeply, the rise and fall of his chest gently lifting you with each inhale. His hand stroked your back, his thumb tracing lazy circles as he looked at you with warmth and affection. “You mean so much to me,” he added, his voice barely above a whisper, like he was letting you in on a secret. “I can’t wait to show you off.”
Your heart swelled at his words, feeling a rush of warmth spread through you. Spencer, who was usually so careful with his emotions, was being completely vulnerable with you now. It made your connection feel even deeper, like you were sharing something truly special.
You smiled, leaning up to kiss him softly, your lips brushing his. “I can’t wait either,” you whispered against his mouth, feeling more at ease about meeting his team.
Spencer chuckled softly, shaking his head, still in disbelief at how elated he felt. The emotions swirling in his chest were too much to hold back, and before either of you could say another word, he closed the distance between you. His lips met yours in a deep, tender kiss, full of all the feelings he hadn’t yet put into words.
The kiss was different this time—more intense, more meaningful. You could feel the depth of Spencer's emotions through the way his hands gently cupped your face, the way he kissed you like he was afraid to ever let you go. It wasn’t just desire, but something deeper, something sweeter, like the connection between you both had finally settled into something undeniable.
Your hands found their way to his hair, fingers threading through the soft curls as you kissed him back just as deeply, wanting him to feel how much you cared too. The room seemed to fade away, leaving just the two of you, wrapped up in each other.
When Spencer finally pulled back, his forehead rested against yours, both of you catching your breath. His eyes fluttered open, and he gazed at you with such affection that your heart skipped a beat. "I don’t think I’ve ever felt like this before," he admitted softly, his voice full of awe. 
You smiled, your thumb gently brushing against his cheek. "Me neither," you whispered back, and in that moment, everything felt right. 
Hotch stood across from Erin Strauss, her expression cold and unforgiving as she paced behind her desk. Her gaze was sharp, and Hotch could already tell where the conversation was headed. 
“I’ve reviewed Agent Reid’s file,” Strauss said abruptly, her voice laced with disdain. She stopped pacing and folded her arms. “His performance has been... inconsistent, to say the least. And given his past—” She let the sentence hang, as though expecting Hotch to fill in the blanks.
Hotch’s jaw tightened, but he kept his expression impassive. “Reid is one of the best agents I have. His mind is invaluable to this team.”
Strauss’s eyes narrowed, dismissing his defense with a wave of her hand. “That’s not enough to excuse what he’s been through. His history with drugs, Hotch. We can't ignore it.”
“He’s been clean for years,” Hotch stated firmly, his voice steady though his frustration was clear. “Reid has worked harder than anyone to get past that.”
Strauss leaned forward, her fingers tapping the desk. “I’m not here to argue his work ethic. I’m here because I’m questioning whether Agent Reid can continue to perform in the field without becoming a liability.”
Hotch felt a surge of anger but swallowed it back. “He hasn’t shown any signs of relapse.”
“Not yet,” Strauss shot back. “But the risk is always there. And we can’t afford risks like him, not in a unit as high profile as the BAU.”
Hotch crossed his arms, his posture firm. “He’s earned his place. Whatever you’re insinuating—”
“I’m not insinuating,” she cut him off, her voice icy. “I’m telling you how this is going to go. From now on, Reid will be subjected to mandatory drug tests. Monthly.” She emphasized the last word, her expression hard. “If there are any slip-ups, any signs of relapse, even the faintest suspicion, he’s out.”
Hotch’s gaze darkened. “That’s unnecessary.”
Strauss tapped her fingers impatiently on the desk, her icy demeanor unwavering as she continued to challenge Hotch. “You’re defending him again,” she said sharply, eyes narrowing. “Just like you always do. Every time Reid’s decision-making is called into question, it’s you who steps in to justify it. How many times has he put the team at risk with his recklessness, his… emotional judgments? And every time, you shield him.”
Hotch held her gaze, his face impassive though his patience was wearing thin. “Reid’s decisions are not reckless. He’s a profiler, just like the rest of us. Sometimes we have to make judgment calls, and Reid—despite his past, despite his personal struggles—makes the right ones more often than not.”
Strauss leaned back in her chair, folding her arms, her expression one of disbelief. “Judgment calls? That’s your defense? We can’t afford judgment calls, Aaron. Not when we’re dealing with murderers, terrorists, and serial predators. Reid’s personal issues cloud his judgment, and that makes him a risk.”
Hotch stepped forward, his voice firm but calm. “We work in the field. Every agent makes judgment calls—myself included. We don’t always have the luxury of time or all the facts laid out perfectly for us. Reid has an exceptional mind, and when he’s under pressure, he performs. Yes, he’s made mistakes, but so have all of us. He’s saved more lives than I can count.”
Strauss’ eyes flashed with irritation. “But his mistakes could have cost lives, Aaron. And you know that. How many times has he hesitated, overthought, or even worse, let his emotions dictate his actions? You’ve had to justify his choices to me and other superiors more times than you should have.”
Hotch’s face remained unreadable, but his voice grew harder. “I justify his decisions because they are the right ones. When you’re in the field, in a life-or-death situation, you need someone like Reid—a man who can think faster than anyone else in the room. His ability to process information, to read people, is unmatched.”
Strauss shook her head, her frustration boiling over. “You call it unmatched. I call it unstable. His mind may be brilliant, but it’s fragile. You can’t deny that. And you can’t keep making excuses for him. This is a dangerous game, and the stakes are too high for mistakes.”
Hotch’s eyes narrowed. “He’s not unstable. He’s human. Every member of this team has had to make decisions under pressure, sometimes with incomplete information, and Reid is no different.”
“But he is different,” Strauss countered, her voice cutting through the room. “He’s the one who’s been to rehab. He’s the one who struggles with dependency. And let’s not forget the mental strain he’s been under for years. The rest of your team—Morgan, Prentiss, Rossi—they’re reliable. Reid, on the other hand, is unpredictable.”
Hotch’s jaw tightened, but he kept his tone measured. “He’s faced more than most of us could handle, and he’s come out the other side stronger. I trust him with my life, and so does the team.”
Strauss leaned forward, her gaze cold. “I don’t. And that’s why this is non-negotiable, Hotch. Monthly drug tests. If he slips, if there’s even a hint of a problem, he’s out. I will not tolerate another incident where I have to clean up his mess because you think his ‘judgment calls’ are excusable.”
Hotch stared at her for a long moment, the tension palpable. “And what happens when you push him out and lose one of the best agents this Bureau has ever had?”
Strauss didn’t blink. “That’s a risk I’m willing to take.”
The silence hung heavy between them, and Hotch realized no amount of reasoning would sway her.
Hotch left Strauss’s office, the tension from their conversation still lingering in the back of his mind. He didn’t like this any more than Spencer would, but Strauss had made her decision, and now it was up to him to break the news. The whole situation felt like a slap in the face to Spencer’s progress, and Hotch knew the young agent wouldn’t take it well.
Hotch found Spencer in the bullpen, hunched over some files, lost in thought. The usual furrow of concentration on his brow lifted as he glanced up and saw Hotch approaching.
"Hey, Hotch," Spencer greeted with a faint smile, but Hotch could see the weariness behind it. He felt a pang of guilt in his chest as he sat down across from him.
"Spencer, we need to talk," Hotch said, his tone more serious than usual.
Spencer’s smile faded, replaced by a look of curiosity, then mild concern. "What’s going on?"
Hotch exhaled, running a hand over his face before speaking. "Strauss is implementing new protocols. Effective immediately, you’ll be subjected to monthly drug tests."
Spencer blinked, his expression falling into confusion. "What? Why now? I haven’t used in four years, Hotch. I thought all of that was behind us."
Hotch leaned forward, his voice calm but steady. "I know, and I’ve made that clear to her. You’ve been clean for years, and we all see the progress you’ve made. But Strauss doesn’t trust that your addiction won’t resurface. She’s convinced that you're still a liability."
Spencer’s face twisted in frustration, and his hands fidgeted on the desk in front of him. He let out a breath, shaking his head. "I don’t understand. I’ve done everything right. I’ve proven myself. Why does she still think I’m going to screw up?"
Hotch looked at him sympathetically. "This isn’t about you, Spencer. It’s about Strauss’s own perception."
Spencer clenched his fists, the anger bubbling just beneath the surface. "I thought… I thought we were past all of that. Four years clean, Hotch. Four years. And she still sees me as a ticking time bomb."
Hotch’s gaze softened. "I know it’s unfair, and I wish I could change it. But Strauss has the power to enforce this protocol. I fought for you, Spencer. I’ll always fight for you. But this is one battle I couldn’t win."
Spencer leaned back in his chair, running a hand through his hair as he processed the information. The frustration and hurt in his eyes were evident. "Why does she hate me so much?" he muttered, more to himself than to Hotch. "Why am I always the one who has to prove myself over and over again?"
Hotch didn’t have an answer for that. Strauss’s animosity toward Spencer had always been unwarranted, and no matter how hard Spencer worked, it seemed she would never let go of the past.
"You’re not alone in this," Hotch said quietly, his voice firm. "The team knows how far you’ve come. We trust you. And we’ll make sure this doesn’t interfere with your work."
Spencer nodded, though the disappointment was still etched on his face. "I just don’t get it. I’ve done everything I’m supposed to do. Why can’t she see that?"
Hotch reached across the desk, resting a hand on Spencer’s shoulder. "Because people like Strauss only see the risks, not the person. But we see you, Spencer. Don’t let her take that away from you."
Spencer offered a small, grateful smile, though the frustration still lingered in his eyes. He had been through enough, and this just felt like one more hurdle to jump.
As Hotch walked away, Spencer sat there, staring at the papers in front of him. He had thought the worst was behind him—that his addiction, his past struggles, were finally over. But now, with Strauss breathing down his neck, it felt like he was back at square one. And no matter how hard he worked, how far he came, there was always someone like Strauss, waiting to drag him back down.
“Spencer!” you screeched from your bedroom, the urgency in your voice sending Spencer into an instant state of panic. He rushed in, his mind racing, worried something terrible had happened.
But when he burst through the door, what greeted him was not a disaster—well, not the kind he had imagined. You were sitting in the middle of the floor, surrounded by heaps of clothes, wearing nothing but your bra and underwear. The sight made him chuckle, though he was also slightly flustered, his cheeks tinged pink at the sight of you in so little.
“What’s up, Red?” Spencer asked, trying to keep his voice steady despite how his heart raced.
You looked up at him, pouting, clearly distressed. Spencer, in his cozy sweatpants and hoodie, looked perfectly at ease while you were caught in a whirlwind of indecision. “I don’t know what to wear tonight,” you groaned, gesturing helplessly at the mountain of clothes surrounding you.
Spencer chuckled again, stepping further into the room. “Y/N, we’re not even meeting them for…” he checked his watch and raised his brow, “five hours!”
“I knowww,” you whined, your voice petulant as you flopped back dramatically onto the floor. “But I want to make a good impression.”
Spencer couldn’t help but smile at how adorably worked up you were. He crouched down beside you, his eyes warm as he gazed at your scattered wardrobe. “You could show up in a garbage bag, and they’d still love you,” he said softly, brushing a stray lock of hair away from your face. “Trust me, you don’t need to stress.”
You sighed, sitting back up and grabbing a blouse. “Easy for you to say,” you mumbled, holding the shirt up. “You look good in everything.”
Spencer laughed softly, his fingers brushing against your cheek before leaning in to kiss the top of your head. “You’ll look amazing no matter what you wear. And honestly, they’re just excited to meet the person who’s made me so happy.” 
You looked up at him, his words warming your heart. “You’re really sweet, you know that?”
Spencer smiled. “That’s what you keep telling me.” He glanced down at the pile of clothes again. “Now, let’s figure out what outfit makes you feel as amazing as you are.”
After a lot of playful back and forth, Spencer finally helped you choose an outfit, and you couldn’t be more grateful to have the sweetest man alive by your side. You stood in your room, back in your bra and underwear, having set out the outfit for later, a black dress with red tights, duh. As you got ready, your heart swelled with affection for him—your boyfriend, the man who already seemed to know how to calm your nerves.
Standing in front of him, you ran your hands up Spencer’s chest, feeling the warmth of his skin beneath the soft fabric of his hoodie. With a teasing smile, you tugged gently on the strings of his hoodie, pulling him closer. “Can I show you how much I appreciate you, handsome?” you whispered, your voice playful but filled with sincerity.
Spencer’s eyes widened slightly at your words, his cheeks flushing a light pink. He was always so adorably flustered when you teased him like this. But he smiled softly, leaning in to press a tender kiss to your lips, his hands resting on your waist. “You already do,” he murmured against your lips, but there was no mistaking the way his breath hitched, betraying just how much he wanted you.
“Mm, but I want to really show you,” you breathed softly, your hands dropping to the waistband of Spencer’s sweats. His breath hitched immediately at the sensation of your fingers lightly teasing beneath the fabric, brushing against the coarse hair below.
“Wh—what did you have in mind?” he asked, his voice shaky as he struggled to keep his composure.
You smiled up at him, letting your fingers explore just a little, before you slowly began lowering yourself to your knees. “Well… I could tell you,” you said playfully, your voice dropping to a whisper, “or I could show you.”
Spencer’s breathing became ragged, his chest rising and falling with heaving breaths as he tried to process what was happening. “Oh my god, uh…” he stammered, clearly caught off guard by the sudden intensity.
You firmly grasped the waistband of his sweats then, looking up at him for permission. “Can I?” you asked gently, always making sure he was comfortable.
Spencer didn’t respond right away. His voice was quiet, almost apologetic as he confessed, “I’ve never—no one has…”
You immediately understood, pulling your hands back gently. “Oh baby, we don’t have to,” you said softly, standing up and placing a reassuring hand on his cheek.
Spencer looked at you with gratitude and an apology in his eyes. “Maybe later?” he offered, his tone tentative but sincere. “We… we need to get ready.”
You smiled warmly, leaning in to kiss him on the cheek. “Of course,” you whispered. There was no need to push or rush anything. You had plenty of time, and you’d always respect his boundaries.
Later, after you and Spencer had finished getting ready, you couldn’t help but feel a bit pent up. Spencer looked good earlier, but now? Now, he looked downright irresistible. His button-down shirt paired with a checkered sweater vest, and those slacks—hugging him just right—had you practically drooling. But with Spencer’s earlier discomfort, you held your tongue, not wanting to push things too soon. 
After a quick kiss and a quiet pep talk, the two of you were outside, hailing a cab to meet his team at the bar. Your nerves were still buzzing. You were excited for Spencer, but the thought of someone recognizing you, of someone saying something, kept you on edge. You wanted to be the best partner to him, especially with how proud he was to introduce you to everyone.
As you approached the table, your nerves flared even more, but you plastered on a confident smile. Sitting around the table were Derek, Emily, JJ, and Penelope, all of whom greeted you warmly, each with their own playful digs at Spencer.
“Well, well,” Derek grinned, leaning back in his chair as he gave Spencer a once-over. “Pretty Boy wasn’t kidding when he said he was smitten.”
Emily raised an eyebrow, smirking as she gave you a friendly once-over. “Wow, Reid. No wonder you’ve been so secretive. I would’ve kept this hidden too.”
JJ nudged Penelope, who had stars in her eyes. “I’m so happy you’re real!” Penelope practically squealed. “I thought for sure Spencer was making you up.”
Spencer rolled his eyes, laughing, as he proudly introduced you to his team, visibly glowing from how much they seemed to like you right off the bat.
You smiled, feeling more at ease, though still a bit on edge as you scanned the room. No sign of Hotch or Rossi—thank god, you thought, allowing yourself a moment to relax.
But just as you were about to take a seat, you heard it—the unmistakable voice from behind you. “Reid, is this your lady?” Rossi’s voice carried through the bar, calm and curious.
You froze, feeling the heat rush to your cheeks as you turned, your breath catching in your throat. As your eyes met Rossi’s, you immediately saw it—the flicker of recognition. Then, as you glanced at Hotch standing next to him, it was unmistakable. They both recognized you.
Your heart pounded as you pleaded with your eyes, hoping Rossi would get the message. Please, don’t say anything.
Spencer, none the wiser, smiled brightly as he introduced you. “Yes! Rossi, Hotch—this is Y/N.”
You extended your hand, swallowing your nerves as you greeted them. “It’s a pleasure to meet you both.”
Rossi took your hand, his grip warm and familiar as he gave you a knowing look. But instead of saying anything, he squeezed your hand gently and winked. "The pleasure is all mine," he said smoothly, his voice betraying nothing.
You breathed a sigh of relief, thankful that for now, your secret was safe.
Hotch nodded politely, his expression neutral but his eyes scanning you, clearly making a mental note of the situation. But just like Rossi, he remained silent on the matter.
Spencer, completely oblivious, continued chatting with the group, beaming with pride as he showed you off to the people who mattered most to him. You smiled along, feeling the weight lift slightly, knowing that at least for now, your past could stay buried.
As the drinks flowed and the night progressed, you found yourself thoroughly enjoying the company of Spencer’s team. They were warm, welcoming, and great fun to be around, making it easier for you to relax. Even Hotch and Rossi, after the initial awkwardness, had lightened up, joining in the laughter and the storytelling.
It was a blast hearing them tease Spencer, recounting funny case stories and little moments from their years together. You were especially enjoying the bond you were forming with Penelope, both of you gushing over your shared love for tech and quickly finding an easy rhythm with one another. You felt like you’d made an instant friend.
But with every sip of your drink, your attention kept drifting back to Spencer. He just looked so good, sitting there, his eyes a little hooded from the alcohol, his jaw clenching as he excitedly explained some complex theory to Emily. His hands moved with purpose, fingers waving as he passionately discussed whatever topic he was on. The sight of him like that—so animated, so him—had desire steadily building in the pit of your stomach.
You bit your lip, watching him for a moment before giving in to temptation. Slowly, you slid your hand onto his thigh under the table, your fingers curling around him firmly. Spencer jolted slightly, his conversation with Emily stuttering as he tried to refocus.
He coughed lightly, glancing at you with wide eyes before quickly turning back to Emily, pretending to concentrate on the conversation while clearly trying to ignore your wandering hand.
But you weren’t making it easy for him. You smirked slightly, your thumb stroking slow circles against his thigh, inching closer. You could see the tension in his posture, how he was trying desperately to maintain his composure while you toyed with him.
Spencer stammered again, shooting you a look that was half warning, half pleading, but he couldn’t stop the flush creeping up his neck. His jaw tightened, and he shifted slightly in his seat, clearly struggling to keep it together as your touch continued to drive him wild beneath the table.
Spencer was briefly rescued by an unsung hero—Rossi.
“I’m going to get another drink,” Rossi announced, his tone casual as he looked in your direction. “Y/N, yours is looking light. Care to come with?” The look he gave you left no room for arguing. It was more of a command than an offer.
You nodded and stood, following him to the bar, your heart pounding. Once you were there, away from the laughter and teasing at the table, Rossi’s expression shifted. The warmth he usually radiated had cooled into something far more serious, almost stern.
“He doesn’t know, does he?” Rossi asked, cutting straight to the point.
You sighed, leaning against the bar. “Not yet.”
Rossi’s glare was sharp, filled with concern rather than judgment. “You need to tell him, Y/N.”
You rolled your eyes, but there was a weight to his words you couldn’t brush off. “Come on, David. It’s not like it���s life or death.”
“No, it’s not,” Rossi agreed, his voice calm but firm. “But it’s going to matter to him. Especially now that you know. The longer you wait, the worse it gets.”
You hated how right he was. You hated that every day you kept this secret, the weight of it grew heavier. “I know,” you admitted, the frustration clear in your voice. “But what if he doesn’t want to be with me anymore? What if it changes everything?”
Rossi’s expression softened slightly, his sternness giving way to understanding. “Spencer isn’t like that,” he said quietly. “But he values honesty. Keeping this from him… it’ll hurt him more than the truth ever will. If he finds out later, he’ll feel betrayed. And you don’t want that, do you?”
You shook your head, staring down at the drink the bartender had just handed you. “No, I don’t.”
Rossi placed a comforting hand on your shoulder. “I know it’s scary,” he said softly. “But trust me—Spencer cares about you. He’ll understand. You just have to give him the chance to.”
You nodded slowly, taking a deep breath as the weight of the conversation settled in. You knew what you had to do, but the thought of it still sent a nervous chill down your spine.
Rossi gave you a reassuring squeeze. “Better sooner than later, kiddo.” Then, with a wink, he turned to head back to the table, leaving you alone with your thoughts for a moment. 
You took a deep breath, steeling yourself for what lay ahead. 
When you returned to Spencer’s side, he didn’t even notice that you hadn’t come back with a drink. Instead, he smiled brightly and wrapped his arm around your shoulders, pulling you close. The warmth of his body instantly soothed you, but the mistake became apparent as soon as you breathed in his scent—clean, warm, and undeniably Spencer. The hunger inside you flared up tenfold, and you had to fight to keep your mind from wandering into dangerous territory.
Derek, of course, seized the moment, grinning mischievously from across the table. “Did Spencer tell you about the time a famous actress kissed him?”
Your eyebrows shot up, intrigued but also curious to see Spencer’s reaction. “What?” you asked with a teasing smile, nudging Spencer lightly. “No, he conveniently left that part out.”
Spencer flushed instantly, his arm tightening slightly around you as he groaned. “Oh god, not this story,” he muttered, glaring at Derek.
“Oh, come on, Pretty Boy,” Derek laughed, leaning back in his chair. “You’re basically a celebrity yourself for that one.”
You looked up at Spencer, eyes wide with curiosity. “I have to hear this,” you said, trying to keep the playful edge in your voice despite how distracted you felt by his proximity.
Spencer sighed, clearly embarrassed. “It wasn’t a big deal,” he said quickly, as if trying to brush it off.
Derek scoffed, shaking his head as if Spencer’s modesty was the most ridiculous thing he’d heard all night. “Not a big deal? Reid here was pulled into a swimming pool. She basically mounted him.”
You laughed, eyes widening in disbelief. “What?!”
Spencer buried his face in his hands, shaking his head in defeat, while Derek grinned like the cat that got the cream. "Yep, and the best part? The paparazzi caught the whole thing."
“There are pictures on the internet!” Penelope chimed in cheerfully, as if offering you a goldmine of information. "I saved them to my phone!”
You couldn’t help but laugh, your curiosity piqued even more. “Oh, I have to see these.”
Spencer groaned, leaning back in his seat, his face flushed red. “Please don’t encourage them,” he muttered, though there was a hint of amusement tugging at his lips.
Derek leaned forward, enjoying every moment of Spencer’s discomfort. “Oh no, Y/N, you definitely need to look it up. It’s a classic ‘Reid in over his head’ moment. He’s all wet, confused, and awkward—it’s priceless.”
Penelope nodded eagerly. “He tried to escape, but the actress wouldn’t let him go. She had him trapped!”
You were laughing so hard you had to wipe tears from your eyes. “Oh my god, Spencer,” you giggled, leaning against him. “How did I not know about this sooner?”
Spencer, though clearly embarrassed, finally cracked a smile. “I didn’t think it was relevant,” he mumbled, shooting Derek and Penelope a half-hearted glare.
“Uh-huh, sure,” Derek teased. “Don’t let him fool you, Y/N. She was all over him.”
You giggled, poking Spencer’s side playfully. “Why do I feel like I’m going to need more details later?”
Spencer groaned again, but there was a small, sheepish smile on his face as he squeezed your shoulder. “We’ll talk about it… eventually,” he muttered.
You couldn’t help but laugh, leaning into him again, the tension from earlier melting away slightly as you enjoyed the moment with him and his team. For now, the weight of your secret could wait just a little longer.
The group finally decided to call it a night, but you were buzzing with excitement, eager to get Spencer alone—all to yourself. Both of you had stopped drinking hours ago, switching to water to avoid any hangovers, but the anticipation had been steadily building. 
As soon as you climbed into the back of a cab together, your hand instinctively returned to Spencer’s thigh, your fingers squeezing appreciatively as they traced the thick muscle. You weren't planning on doing anything more, especially in public, but the closeness only fueled the fire inside you.
The cab ride felt longer than usual, the tension simmering between you two in the dim light of the backseat. Spencer seemed to notice it too, his eyes meeting yours in silent understanding. 
But once you had Spencer inside your front door, all restraint vanished. You pushed him against a bare wall with urgency, your hands gripping his lithe waist as your lips found his neck, planting hot, hungry kisses along his skin.
"Y/N?" Spencer gasped, his voice strained with both surprise and desire. His breath hitched as your teeth grazed his pulse. "What’s gotten into you?"
You didn’t answer right away, too focused on the taste of his skin and the way his body responded to every touch. Instead, you kissed your way up to his mouth, pressing yourself against him. Between breaths, you mumbled against his lips, “Hopefully you.”
Spencer let out a low groan, his hands finding your waist as he pulled you even closer. “I’m not sure I can resist you right now,” he murmured, his voice thick with desire, already losing the battle against the pull you had over him.
You grinned against his mouth, your fingers threading through his hair as the kiss deepened, the heat between you both simmering to a near-boiling point. “Please don’t resist,” you whispered against his lips, your voice low and filled with need. “You looked so fucking hot tonight.”
Spencer’s breath hitched, and before he could respond, you dropped to your knees in front of him, your hand pressing against the growing hardness in his slacks. The pressure of your touch made him buck his hips forward instinctively, his eyes widening as the sensation shot through him.
“Is this okay now?” you asked, your voice breathy with desire as you looked up at him, your hand still teasing him through the fabric. “Please, Spencer. Please, I need to taste you.”
His mind raced, a jumble of thoughts and emotions, but all of them led to the same conclusion—how could he say no when you asked him like that, when the hunger in your eyes matched his own? He nodded frantically, too overwhelmed to form proper words, his chest rising and falling with heavy breaths.
As your fingers deftly worked to undo his belt and the button of his slacks, Spencer let out a shaky breath, his hands bracing against the wall behind him for support. He was already losing himself to the intensity of the moment, the anticipation building with every second.
Spencer swallowed hard, his nerves apparent as he shifted slightly under your touch. “What, um, what do I do?” he asked nervously, his voice wavering with uncertainty.
You smiled up at him like a vixen, your lips brushing over the now-exposed skin of his thighs, teasingly close to where he wanted you most. His breath hitched as you nosed along the front of his briefs, the friction sending a shudder through him that made him whimper.
Sticking your tongue out, you traced him through the fabric, feeling the heat radiating through it, and looked up at him with playful intent. “Try not to make me gag,” you teased, your voice low and sultry. “Pull my hair if you like… and let me know when you’re going to come.”
Spencer’s eyes widened, the tension and excitement evident in his expression. His grip on the wall tightened as he nodded, trying to follow your instructions, but the way you spoke and the feeling of your tongue against him had him unraveling already.
The moment was intoxicating, your playful control over him leaving him helpless as he tried to hold it together. Every touch, every word, was pushing him closer to the edge, and he could hardly believe this was happening.
As you pulled off the last barrier, Spencer’s briefs sliding down, you couldn’t help but grin like you’d just unwrapped the most perfect present. You’d seen him naked before, but this was different—having his hard cock right in front of you, so close, filled you with an intoxicating sense of control and desire. 
You licked your lips, savoring the moment, leaning down to press a soft kiss against his head, tasting him for the first time. Spencer’s breath hitched, his back instinctively pulling away from the wall as a wave of sensation coursed through him. His hands found their way into your hair, his grip hesitant at first but growing more confident as the pleasure built.
When you finally wrapped your lips around him, Spencer’s entire body reacted, his hands tugging at your hair, a low, guttural moan escaping his lips. He was already a mess, and you’d barely begun.
Pulling back for just a moment, you looked up at him with a wicked glint in your eyes and whispered, “Good boy.”
The praise hit him like a freight train, his hips bucking slightly as he let out a pathetic, needy whimper in response. He was completely at your mercy, lost in the sensation, and he didn’t care how desperate he sounded. Every touch, every word from you was pushing him further under, and he wanted nothing more than to stay in this moment, completely overwhelmed by you.
You leaned back in, taking him into your mouth again, more confident now that you’d seen his reactions. Spencer’s hands tightened in your hair as his body arched, his control slowly unraveling with each passing second. You could feel the tension building in him, hear the way his breath quickened, shaky and unsteady, as he tried to hold back.
Every movement you made seemed to push him further toward the edge. The way you hollowed your cheeks, the small flicks of your tongue, the pressure—everything was driving him wild. His hips bucked involuntarily, but you were ready for it, holding him steady as you took him deeper.
“Y/N…” he gasped, barely able to find his voice. His breathing was ragged now, and he was doing everything he could to hold on. “I’m close…”
You hummed around him in response, the vibrations almost sending him over the edge. He tightened his grip in your hair, his hips stuttering as he let out a broken moan, his body trembling from the intensity of it all.
“God, darling…” Spencer whimpered, his voice barely a whisper as he prepared to ride out the waves of pleasure, his head falling back against the wall. 
Spencer’s breath hitched as you pulled back suddenly, leaving him teetering on the edge without release. His body betrayed him, a desperate whine escaping his lips as he thrashed lightly against the wall, trying to chase the pleasure you’d just denied him. 
You placed a firm hand on his hip, grounding him, while your other hand came up to stroke him slowly, teasingly. "Over so soon, baby?" you asked, your voice laced with amusement, watching his reactions closely. 
“I’m—” he hiccuped, barely able to get the words out, “I’m sorry, it just feels so good.”
You arched an eyebrow, teasing him further. “Thought you weren’t a virgin, Spence?”
His face flushed deep red, his breath ragged and uneven as he struggled to focus. “I’m n—not,” he stammered, his words tumbling over themselves as he tried to speak while your hand brought him back to the brink. “Just hav—ah—haven’t had this before.”
Your strokes were slow and deliberate, torturous in the best way, and you leaned in closer, your lips brushing against his tip. “Is it too much for you?” you whispered softly, your voice low and seductive.
Spencer shook his head frantically, biting his lip as he tried to hold back. “No… no, I—I don’t want you to stop,” he gasped, his hands instinctively gripping your hair tighter, his fingers digging into your scalp as he tried to anchor himself. “Please…”
You smiled at his response, watching as he lost himself to the sensations, barely able to hold on as you continued to push him further. “Good,” you murmured, “because I’m not done with you yet.”
Spencer's entire body was trembling under your touch, his breath coming out in ragged gasps as you continued to stroke him with slow, deliberate movements. His head was thrown back against the wall, his chest heaving with the effort it took to hold himself together.
You smirked, watching the way his eyes fluttered closed, completely at your mercy. His desperation was palpable, and it made you want to push him further—to see just how much he could take.
“You look so good like this,” you whispered, your voice filled with both praise and desire. “Completely undone for me.”
Spencer’s hips jerked slightly in response, and he whimpered again, barely able to form words as the pleasure built to an unbearable peak. “Y/N, please,” he gasped, his voice shaky. “I—I can’t—”
You leaned in closer, pressing your lips against his hip, kissing and biting lightly as you kept your hand moving at a torturous pace. “What do you want, Spence?” you asked softly, your breath warm against his skin.
Spencer’s voice broke as he whimpered, his words nearly a plea. “You—your mouth, please,” he begged, his body trembling, the desperation in his tone unmistakable. He was so close to the edge, and you could tell he was barely holding himself together.
You smiled softly, relishing the power you had over him in this moment. “Okay, baby,” you whispered, your voice laced with both affection and desire. “You’ve been so good for me… you can have whatever you want.”
Without wasting another moment, and your hand still gently stroking him, you placed a soft kiss on his tip. You looked up at him through your lashes, watching as his entire body shuddered in anticipation. His hands tightened in your hair again after losing their grip, and you could feel how tightly he was holding on, as if letting go would make him lose control completely.
Slowly, you took him into your mouth, savoring the salty taste and the way his body reacted immediately. Spencer’s head fell back against the wall, a strangled moan escaping his lips as his hips instinctively pushed forward, gagging you.
“You’re so good,” he gasped, his voice breathless as he struggled to keep his composure. “So, so good…”
The praise only made you work harder, hollowing your cheeks as you took him deeper, determined to give him exactly what he asked for. Spencer’s body trembled under your touch, and you could feel the tension building rapidly, his breaths becoming shorter and more erratic with each passing second.
“Y/N, I—” he managed to choke out, his hands tightening in your hair. “I’m gonna—”
You didn’t pull away this time. You kept going, your pace quickening and your other hand cupping his balls as you brought him right to the edge, determined to take him all the way.
And then, with a final, desperate moan, Spencer came undone completely, his body trembling as he released into your mouth, his grip on your hair tightening for a moment before he released it completely collapsed back against the wall, utterly spent.
You pulled away slowly, wiping the corner of your mouth with a smirk as you looked up at him. Spencer’s chest was still heaving, his eyes half-lidded and dazed, a blissful smile tugging at his lips.
But then Spencer’s eyes widened in panic, and his face flushed with embarrassment. “Oh my god, I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean to—to… in your mouth!”
You giggled, your mouth still full, shaking your head affectionately at his reaction. Then, with a mischievous glint in your eyes, you stuck out your tongue to show him exactly what he had done. Spencer’s face turned an even deeper shade of red, his breath hitching as he took in the sight.
He felt lightheaded, especially when you casually closed your mouth and, in one smooth motion, swallowed. “Jesus,” he breathed, his voice barely audible, the raw intensity of the moment catching up to him.
You grinned wickedly. “Just me, baby,” you winked, laughing as you stood up on slightly wobbly legs, your body still buzzing with the energy of the moment.
Before you could stumble, Spencer’s hands reached out to catch you, steadying you against him. “Whoa, careful, Bambi,” he teased, his voice finally regaining some steadiness.
You narrowed your eyes playfully at his comment, your smile still bright. “I could say the same,” you said, your gaze flicking downward where the hardness of him was pressing into your stomach. “Or should I call you Pinocchio? Again, Spence, really?"
Spencer’s face flushed again, and he laughed awkwardly, his hands tightening around your waist. “I—uh—yeah, sorry about that. It’s just…” he trailed off, looking sheepish as he tried to explain. “You’re kind of… really hot.”
You laughed softly, kissing Spencer sweetly on the lips. But just as you pulled away, Spencer abruptly jerked back, his eyes wide with alarm. “What?” you asked, confused by his sudden reaction.
“You have—me! In your mouth!” he sputtered, looking completely flustered.
You tilted your head, amused by his innocence. “Does that gross you out?” you teased. “Because I think you taste good.”
Spencer flushed even more, which you didn’t think was possible at this point. He stammered, his words tripping over themselves. “I don’t... I don’t know. I’ve just... never thought about it.”
You smiled playfully, shrugging as you turned and sighed dramatically. “Well, you don’t have to kiss me right now, Spence... I guess I’ll just go to bed alone.” Letting your dress fall provocatively from your shoulder, you made your way toward the bedroom, your steps slow and intentional.
Spencer’s mind raced, catching up with the teasing tone in your voice. His heart pounded in his chest as he realized what you were implying. Without hesitation, he scrambled to pull his briefs and pants back up, fastening them quickly before running after you.
“Wait!” he called out, his voice filled with urgency as he reached out to grab your hand, stopping you just before you could disappear into the bedroom.
You turned to face him, a mischievous glint in your eyes as you raised an eyebrow. “Changed your mind?” you asked, your lips curving into a slow smile.
Spencer, still catching his breath, nodded quickly. “I—I’m not letting you go to bed alone,” he said, his voice a mix of determination and longing. “I want to be with you.”
You smiled warmly, pulling him close. “Good answer, baby,” you whispered, pressing your lips to his in a deep, slow kiss, letting him feel how much you wanted him too.
That night, however, the two of you decided to take it slow and just go to bed. You could tell Spencer had done enough exploring for one day, and there was no need to push him further. After all, the night had already been filled with its own excitement.
You handed him a spare toothbrush to keep at your place, something that made Spencer smile shyly. He changed into the sweats he had borrowed earlier, and you both settled into bed, wrapping yourselves in the warmth of each other.
With Spencer nestled against your chest, his head rising and falling gently with your breathing, you kissed the top of his head and sighed contentedly. The moment felt perfect, and you were certain Spencer had already drifted off to sleep when you heard it. The words were so soft, you almost thought you were imagining them.
“I think I'm falling in love with you,” Spencer whispered, his voice barely audible against your skin.
Your heart skipped a beat, and you blinked, unsure if you’d actually heard it. But the warmth of his words lingered in the air, and you knew it was real. You could feel the way his body tensed slightly, like he was scared of what he’d just confessed, but you couldn’t help the wide, beaming smile that stretched across your face.
Your hand gently stroked his hair as you whispered back, “I think I’m falling in love with you, too.”
Spencer’s body relaxed against yours, and for the first time that night, you both fell asleep with the quiet comfort of knowing you were falling in love—together.
The next morning, you woke up to an empty bed, your hand reaching out instinctively for Spencer, but finding only cool sheets. A flash of panic surged through you until you heard his voice, faint but audible, coming from down the hall. You couldn’t make out the words, but there was a tension in his tone, a heaviness that made your chest tighten.
You slipped out of bed, still groggy, and padded quietly to the door, opening it just enough to see Spencer standing in the living room. The morning sunlight bathed him in a soft, golden glow, highlighting the slump in his shoulders. He was on the phone, and even though his voice was low, you could tell he was upset.
When he heard the door creak open, he quickly wrapped up the conversation. “Hotch, I gotta go. Yeah. Bye,” he said, his tone clipped as he hung up.
You took a tentative step toward him, concern lacing your voice as you asked, “You okay?”
Spencer turned to face you, and without hesitation, he let his body fall into yours. His chin rested gently on the top of your head as he let out a deep, weary sigh. "Yeah," he muttered, though you could feel the weight behind his words. "Just work stuff."
You wrapped your arms around him, holding him close, trying to offer him the comfort he clearly needed. “Do you want to talk about it?” you asked softly, not wanting to push but needing him to know you were there.
“Not right now,” Spencer murmured, pulling back just enough to look down at you. His smile was small but genuine, as if he was trying to reassure you that everything was fine, even if it wasn’t. “I was trying to make coffee, but I couldn’t find your grounds.”
You laughed, the sound lightening the mood just a little. “I use disposable pods, silly.”
He chuckled softly, shaking his head. “Ahh, that would do it.” 
There was a moment of quiet between you as Spencer leaned back into your embrace, his fingers tracing lazy patterns on your back. Even though he wasn’t ready to talk about whatever was bothering him, you knew he appreciated your presence. And for now, that was enough.
Once the coffee was made and the two of you settled into the comfortable chairs on your deck, the soft morning breeze creating a peaceful atmosphere, you knew it was time. Spencer sat beside you, sipping his coffee, lost in thought but content. The silence between you had been comforting, but there was something tugging at you now, something you needed to share.
You glanced over at him, watching how the sunlight danced across his face, and took a deep breath, feeling your heart pick up pace. Breaking the peaceful quiet, you spoke up softly, “Spencer… can I tell you something? About my past? It’s not exactly happy…”
Spencer’s attention immediately shifted to you, his eyes soft but concerned. He set his mug down on the small table beside him, turning his body slightly to face you. “Of course,” he said gently, his voice calm and reassuring. “You can tell me anything.”
You looked down at your hands, your fingers nervously tracing the edge of your coffee cup. It was hard, the idea of opening up this part of yourself, but if you wanted to move forward, to build something real with Spencer, you knew he deserved to know.
“I haven’t been totally honest with you,” you began slowly, your voice faltering slightly. “It’s not that I’ve lied, but… there are things about my past I haven’t told you.”
Spencer’s expression softened, and he reached out, his hand gently covering yours, his thumb rubbing gentle circles on your skin. “Whatever it is, I’m here.”
You took a shaky breath, feeling the weight of the words you were about to say. Spencer’s hand was still resting on yours, grounding you, giving you the strength to continue.
“When I was thirteen,” you started, your voice low, “I lost both of my parents. It wasn’t... it wasn’t an accident or some freak illness. They both died from drug overdoses.”
Spencer’s brows furrowed in concern, but he didn’t say anything, giving you the space to speak.
“My father had always been an addict. I barely remember a time when he wasn’t using something. He was... abusive. Violent, unpredictable.” You swallowed hard, the memories flashing in your mind like dark clouds. “I lived with my mom most of the time. We tried to keep away from him, hiding from him really. He was dangerous, and my mom did her best to protect us.”
You paused, feeling the lump forming in your throat, but Spencer’s thumb tracing circles on your skin kept you anchored.
“One day, when I was at school, my mom was home. She had called in sick that day, just a flu or something. But somehow, my dad found her. He showed up while I was gone.” Your voice wavered, and you closed your eyes for a second, willing yourself to keep going. “When I came home, I found them both... he had overdosed them. I guess he thought if he was going down, he’d take her with him.”
Spencer’s grip on your hand tightened just slightly, and when you looked up, his eyes were filled with compassion and something else... empathy, perhaps. He didn’t say a word, just let you continue.
“That’s how I found them. Both gone, just... gone.” You could feel your breath hitch as the memories flooded back. “After that, my little sister and I went to live with my aunt. She took us in, gave us a home, but it was never the same. My sister... she couldn’t handle what our father did. She was so young, and it broke her.”
You felt a tear slip down your cheek, but you wiped it away quickly. Spencer leaned closer, his body almost enveloping you with comfort.
“Where is your sister now?” he asked softly, his voice full of concern.
You shook your head, biting your lip to keep it from trembling. “I don’t know,” you whispered. “She got addicted too, a few years later. I tried to help her, but she was... lost. She ran away when she was old enough, and I haven’t heard from her since.”
Spencer looked at you with a pained expression, his hand reaching up to gently cup your cheek. “I’m so sorry, Y/N,” he said quietly, his voice breaking slightly. “I can’t imagine how hard that must have been for you, for both of you.”
You let out a shaky breath, leaning into his touch. “It was... it still is. But I guess I’m just terrified of the past catching up to me, of losing more people to the same thing.”
Spencer’s thumb gently stroked your hand, silently encouraging you to continue.
You took a deep breath, steadying yourself as you wiped the last trace of tears from your eyes. “I love my aunt dearly,” you said, voice soft but filled with warmth. “She’s an amazing woman. Without her, I don’t know where I’d be... I probably would have ended up in foster care, or worse.”
“She did everything she could to help my sister,” you continued. “Took us both in when she didn’t have to, gave us a home, stability. But... my sister refused treatment, refused help. My aunt tried, I tried, but she just... wouldn’t listen. I think... I think she was too broken by everything that happened.”
Spencer’s brow furrowed as he listened, his eyes reflecting the deep sadness he felt on your behalf. “Your aunt sounds like an incredible person,” he said softly. “She must have cared for you both so much.”
You nodded, a small smile tugging at your lips. “She did, and she still does. I wouldn’t have made it without her. She never gave up on me, even when things got really dark. But with my sister...” You trailed off, the pain still fresh despite the years. “She just couldn’t reach her, no matter how hard she tried.”
Spencer’s gaze softened even more, and he pulled you a little closer, wrapping his arm around you protectively. “I’m sorry you had to go through all of that, Y/N. I wish I could take away that pain for you.”
You leaned into him, letting the warmth of his embrace comfort you. “It’s okay,” you whispered, “I’ve learned to live with it. It’s just hard, knowing that no matter how much love we gave her, my sister couldn’t be saved.”
Spencer pressed a soft kiss to the top of your head, his voice gentle as he spoke. “You did everything you could. Sometimes... people just aren’t ready to accept help. But that doesn’t mean you didn’t try, or that you didn’t love her enough.”
For a moment, you allowed yourself to just breathe. You hadn’t shared this part of yourself with anyone in such a long time, and Spencer’s quiet understanding felt like a balm to your soul.
“She sounds like an incredible woman, your aunt,” Spencer added, squeezing your hand gently. “And so do you.”
You looked at Spencer with tears welling in your eyes, your emotions on full display. “Thank you, Spencer,” you whispered, your voice shaky but filled with gratitude. His thumb gently wiped a tear from underneath your eye, his touch soft and reassuring.
"Not just for listening,” you continued, “but for being you.”
Spencer smiled at you, a deep, affectionate smile that made your heart flutter. His eyes shone with understanding and care, and in that moment, you felt an overwhelming connection between you two. He leaned forward then, kissing you deeply, a kiss full of warmth and unspoken promises.
"Thank you for telling me," he murmured softly, pulling back just enough to rest his forehead against yours.
You laughed softly, more at yourself than anything, as you wiped away the remnants of your tears. "Okay, whew, that’s that," you said, trying to lighten the mood. "Now you know. We can stop crying now."
Spencer smiled softly, brushing a stray strand of hair from your face. His eyes flickered with something more, a desire to share, to open up just as you had. “Do you want to know about my parents?” he asked, his voice gentle.
You nodded your head, giving him your full attention, ready to listen just as he had for you.
Spencer sighed deeply, his gaze far away for a moment, as if gathering the words. “My mom… she has schizophrenia. It started when I was really young, and I spent a lot of time trying to understand her illness. It wasn’t easy growing up, knowing she wasn’t like other moms. She was brilliant though, a professor of literature. She used to read to me all the time, teaching me about everything she loved. That’s probably where I get my love for books.”
You listened intently, your heart breaking a little for the boy he once was, trying to make sense of a world so complex and painful.
“My dad left when I was ten,” Spencer continued, his voice quieter now. “He couldn’t handle it anymore—her illness, the responsibility. He just… left. And it was just me and her after that.”
Spencer’s voice wavered slightly, but he stayed composed. “I spent my childhood trying to take care of her, in my own way. She had episodes, but I didn’t want her to go to a hospital, so I hid a lot of it from people. I thought… I thought I could fix it.”
You reached for his hand, squeezing it gently. Spencer glanced at you, his expression softening as he took comfort in your presence.
“I’ve made peace with it now,” Spencer said after a beat. “But it wasn’t easy. There were days I felt like I was drowning, trying to take care of her and go to school, trying to make something of myself.” He paused, then added, “She’s in a facility now, getting the care she needs. I visit when I can.”
You sat in silence for a moment, letting his words settle, understanding the depth of his pain and the strength it must have taken to survive such a childhood.
"Thank you for telling me," you whispered, echoing his earlier words. Your thumb brushed against the back of his hand as you gazed at him with admiration. "You’re a wonderful man, Spencer."
He smiled softly, his eyes brimming with affection as he leaned in to kiss your forehead.
When the coffee was finished and the emotional weight of your stories had settled, you both stood up, moving inside together. There was no need for plans, no pressure to fill the day with anything grand. You simply wanted to be together, to spend the day wrapped up in each other’s presence, doing nothing but enjoying the quiet comfort of your shared company.
Spencer’s day had started off on a sour note the moment he walked into the testing facility. The thought of being watched during such an intimate, humiliating process had been enough to make his stomach churn. The presence of the other agent, someone he didn’t know, standing nearby as he tried to perform an already uncomfortable task had only worsened his mood.
By the time he returned to the office, Spencer was tense, his nerves frayed from the ordeal. His team—his friends—were used to his occasional bad moods, but this was different. He hated that the drug tests were a constant reminder of a time in his life he’d fought so hard to put behind him, a scar that Strauss and her protocols kept reopening.
Penelope was the first to try and talk to him, her usual bubbly energy shining through as she asked, “Hey, Reid, how was your weekend? Did you spend it with your girl?”
Without thinking, Spencer snapped, his voice sharper than he intended. “I don’t want to talk about it, Penelope.”
Her eyes widened in surprise, and he could see the hurt flash across her face before she quickly masked it with a forced smile. He regretted it immediately, but in his irritation, he couldn’t bring himself to apologize right away.
Then, Derek, ever the good friend, set a fresh cup of coffee on Spencer’s desk—a simple gesture of kindness. But when a bit of the coffee spilled over the edge onto his papers, Spencer’s patience snapped again.
“Can you not?” Spencer bit out, glaring at the small mess. “It’s everywhere now, Morgan.”
Derek raised his hands in surrender, clearly not wanting to poke the bear. “Alright, alright, take it easy, pretty boy.”
Emily, sensing Spencer’s volatile mood, wisely kept her distance. She’d seen him like this before and knew better than to engage when he was on edge.
JJ, always the nurturer, tried her best to offer a soothing presence. “Spence, are you okay? You seem a little... off today.”
But instead of the comfort she usually brought, her words only stoked the fire. “I’m fine, JJ. Can everyone just stop asking me how I’m doing?”
Her eyes widened, taken aback by his harsh tone, and Spencer immediately felt a pang of guilt. He didn’t mean to lash out, especially at JJ, who was only trying to help. His apology came quickly, but it did little to ease the tension.
“Sorry,” he muttered, running a hand through his hair, feeling the weight of his frustration pressing down on him. “I just... I’m not in a great place right now.”
Hotch had been watching from his office, observing how Spencer was struggling to keep it together. He knew better than most what Spencer was going through, but it was clear today wasn’t a day Spencer should be in the office.
He walked over to Spencer’s desk, his expression firm but understanding. “Reid, go home.”
Spencer looked up, surprised. “I have work to finish—”
“You can take it with you,” Hotch interrupted, his voice leaving no room for argument. “You need some space. Go home, get some rest. We’ll see you tomorrow.”
Spencer didn’t fight it. He nodded, collecting his things, knowing that Hotch was right. He wasn’t doing anyone any good by staying, and his snapping at the people who cared about him only made him feel worse.
As he left the office, Spencer felt a weight lift slightly from his shoulders. But the humiliation of the morning still gnawed at him, and he wondered how long this protocol would hang over his head like a dark cloud.
Things only got worse when you texted Spencer on your lunch break, sharing a silly story about a printer mix-up at work. Normally, Spencer would find your anecdotes charming, loving the way you broke them up into several texts as if you were telling the story in person. But today, the constant pinging of his phone was too much for his already frayed nerves.
He stared at the screen, watching the notifications pile up, the sound seeming louder and more grating than usual. The tension from the day—the frustration, the stress, the hidden weight of what he was dealing with—made every ping feel like it was vibrating directly into his skull.
Instead of waiting for more texts to come through, he called you. It wasn’t out of anger, but a desperate need to silence the noise and prevent the headache he felt creeping up.
“Hi, baby!” you answered, your voice bright and cheery, though you sounded a little surprised. “I didn’t realize you were on your phone. Sorry if I was texting too much—”
“I’m home. Hotch let me leave early,” he huffed, his voice sharp and tense, though he hadn’t meant for it to sound so irritated.
“Oh…” you paused, a little concern creeping into your voice. “Are you alright? Are you feeling sick?”
Your genuine worry, which normally would have soothed him, only felt like another weight on his chest today. He wasn’t angry with you, but the frustration that had been building all day finally spilled over.
“I’m fine,” Spencer snapped, his tone harsher than he intended. “I just… I’m having a bad day, okay?”
The line went quiet for a moment. He immediately regretted his words, knowing you didn’t deserve the brunt of his frustration. You hadn’t done anything wrong, and here he was, snapping at you over something as small as a few text messages.
“I’m sorry, Spencer,” you said softly, the lightness in your voice replaced with a gentle, understanding tone. “I didn’t mean to bother you.”
He sighed, the guilt crashing down on him. You had no idea what he was really dealing with—he hadn’t told you about the drug tests, about Strauss's constant scrutiny. He didn’t want you to worry, didn’t want you to think any less of him, so he kept it all to himself. But now, it was spilling over into how he treated you, and he hated that.
“No, I know. I’m sorry,” Spencer replied, softer now, trying to reign in his frustration. “It’s not you, I just… today’s been rough.”
There was a pause again, your voice gentle when you finally spoke. “Do you want me to come over? We don’t have to talk about it. I can just be there.”
Spencer hesitated. The truth was, part of him wanted you there. He always felt better with you around, your presence grounding him in ways he couldn’t explain. But today, he wasn’t sure if he could handle being around anyone, even you. Not when he felt so close to snapping at the slightest thing.
“I don’t know,” he admitted quietly. “Maybe… I just need some space right now.”
Your understanding was immediate, though he could hear the slight tinge of hurt in your voice. “Okay, I get it. Just know I’m here if you need anything, alright?”
“Yeah,” Spencer muttered, closing his eyes and trying to push away the guilt and frustration swirling inside him. “Thanks, Y/N.”
When the call ended, Spencer sat in the quiet of his apartment, feeling the weight of his bad day pressing down on him. He knew he should tell you what was going on, but the shame and embarrassment kept him silent. He wanted to feel better, wanted to stop snapping at the people he cared about, but today everything felt… wrong.
Rossi stood in Strauss’s office, the door closed behind him, his arms crossed over his chest as he regarded her with a frustrated expression. He had been simmering over this decision for days now, but he knew he had to say something. It was eating at him.
“You know, Erin, I think you went too far this time,” Rossi said, his voice low but firm. “Having Spencer drug tested every month? It’s uncalled for. The kid’s been clean for years now. He’s proven himself.”
Strauss didn’t look up from the file in front of her, her expression unreadable. “David, you of all people should understand why this is necessary.”
“I told you in confidence,” Rossi said, stepping closer to her desk, his voice gaining an edge. “Because of us. Not so you could turn around and use it against him. You think I don’t see what you’re doing?”
Strauss finally lifted her eyes to meet his, her expression calm and collected. “I’m trying to protect her.”
Rossi let out a slow breath, shaking his head. “You’re punishing him for something that hasn’t even happened. He hasn’t slipped up, and I don’t think he will. He’s stronger than you give him credit for.”
“He’s a liability,” Strauss said firmly, not backing down. “And I’m not going to sit by and wait for him to make a mistake that costs us all more than we’re willing to pay.”
Rossi clenched his jaw, frustrated by her unwillingness to see reason. “You’re not protecting her or the Bureau, Erin. You’re making it harder for him to succeed. You’re putting a target on his back.”
Strauss crossed her arms, her expression unyielding. “Sometimes, David, tough decisions have to be made. Whether or not you agree with them.”
Rossi sighed, knowing the conversation was hitting a dead end. “I just hope you realize what you’re doing before it’s too late.” He gave her one final look, disappointed but unsurprised, before turning on his heel and leaving her office, the tension lingering long after he was gone.
Spencer stood there, looking so tired and worn down, and your heart clenched at the sight of him. You could tell he was struggling, and the weight of whatever was on his mind was pressing heavily on his shoulders. You stepped closer, gently touching his arm.
“Spencer?” you asked softly, your voice full of concern.
He looked at you, his gaze softened by exhaustion, and he sighed deeply, rubbing a hand over his face. “I’m sorry for how I was yesterday… I didn’t mean to snap at you.”
You shook your head, stepping aside to let him in, your hand reaching for his as you pulled him through the door. “You don’t have to apologize, Spencer. But what’s going on? You’ve been so quiet. I’ve been worried.”
He gave a small nod, his eyes downcast as he stepped into your apartment, letting the warmth of your presence surround him. You led him to the couch, and he collapsed into it with a heavy sigh, rubbing at the back of his neck as if trying to ease the tension that had built there.
“I… I just had a really hard day,” he said, his voice barely above a whisper. “Work stuff. It’s… it’s complicated, and I don’t really want to talk about it right now.”
Your concern deepened, but you didn’t want to push him. You could see in his eyes that he was holding something back, something that was clearly eating at him, but if he wasn’t ready to share, you would respect that. You just wanted to be there for him, however he needed.
You nodded softly, sitting down beside him and taking his hand in yours, your thumb brushing gently over his knuckles. “Okay. You don’t have to talk about it,” you said gently. “But I’m here. And if you want to just… be, we can do that too.”
Spencer’s shoulders seemed to relax a little at your words, and he let out a small breath, his fingers squeezing yours tightly as if holding on to you was the only thing keeping him grounded.
“I just… I just want to be with you,” he said quietly, his eyes finally meeting yours, the vulnerability in them breaking your heart. “I don’t want to think about anything else right now. I just want to be here with you.”
You gave him a gentle smile, leaning in to press a soft kiss to his forehead. “Then we’ll just be,” you whispered.
He closed his eyes as you kissed him, letting out a long, shaky breath as he leaned into your touch. You wrapped your arms around him, pulling him closer, letting him rest his head on your shoulder. For a long moment, you just held him, feeling the steady rise and fall of his chest against yours.
“Thank you,” he murmured after a while, his voice barely audible, but the emotion behind it clear. “For being here.”
You stroked his hair softly, your heart full of love for the man in your arms. “Always, Spencer,” you whispered. “I’m always here.” 
And though the weight of his hidden struggles lingered in the air, for now, it was enough to just be together.
The laughter that filled the room later was like music, and for the first time in what felt like days, Spencer felt light again. You were both sprawled out on the couch, popcorn forgotten as Spencer had successfully wrestled you under him, his hands expertly tickling your sides. Your uncontrollable giggles filled the room as you squirmed beneath him, trying to bat his hands away.
“Spence!” you squealed, your voice rising in playful desperation. “Stop! I can’t—” 
He laughed, his own amusement bubbling up as he leaned down, pressing quick, ticklish kisses along your neck and cheeks, making you squirm even more.
“What?” he teased, pretending not to hear you, his voice lighthearted and mischievous. “Can’t hear you over all this squawking in my ear!”
Your laughter came out in breathless bursts, and you managed to shove at his chest lightly, still giggling as he finally gave you a moment to catch your breath. Spencer grinned down at you, his face flushed from laughter, his earlier heaviness completely gone, replaced by a playful glint in his eyes.
"Truce?" you gasped, still trying to stop your own giggles, your hands grabbing onto his arms to steady yourself.
Spencer tilted his head, pretending to think it over for a moment before nodding, his lips quirking into a smirk. “Alright. Truce. But only because you begged so nicely.”
You rolled your eyes but smiled up at him, your heart swelling at how much lighter and carefree he seemed now. Whatever weight he had been carrying earlier was gone, at least for the moment, and you couldn’t help but feel proud that you had been the one to help lift it. 
He stayed on top of you for a moment longer, both of you catching your breath, the warmth of his body comforting against yours. He leaned down and kissed your forehead softly, his voice gentle as he murmured, “You always know how to make me feel better.”
You smiled up at him, brushing a hand through his hair. “I just like seeing you happy,” you said softly. “You deserve it.”
For a moment, Spencer didn’t say anything, just looking at you with a kind of quiet admiration that made your heart flutter. Then, with a playful smirk, he rolled off you, tugging you back up to sit in his lap. “Alright, I’ll stop tickling you,” he said, eyes glinting with amusement, “for now.”
You glared and pointed your finger in his face, making him cross his eyes like a dork. “Tickle me again, and I’ll... I’ll…”
“Yeah? Go on, honey,” he teased, his smirk growing wider as his hands continued to rub your hips.
Flustered by his confidence, you blurted, “I’ll spit on you.”
He raised an eyebrow, clearly amused. “Is that the best you got?”
You leaned in, lowering your voice as your eyes locked on his. “Careful, baby… sounds like you might actually want that.”
Spencer's smirk faltered slightly, his eyes widening in surprise before he laughed nervously. You could feel the shift in energy between you, the playful banter taking on a new, teasing intensity.
“Wha—no,” he stammered, trying to recover, but the playful glint in your eyes had him flustered.
You leaned in closer, your hands resting on his chest as you whispered in a low, sultry tone, “Mmm, you sure about that?”
Spencer’s breath hitched slightly, his hands instinctively tightening on your hips as he tried to keep his composure. “You’re… you’re just trying to get a rise out of me,” he finally managed to say, his voice a little breathless, but there was no hiding the way his body reacted to your proximity.
You grinned, feeling empowered by the effect you had on him. “And it’s working,” you teased, your lips brushing against his ear as you gently let your hips grind on his.
Spencer swallowed hard, his eyes flicking to yours, filled with affection and playful frustration. “You’re impossible, you know that?”
You giggled, sitting up straight and giving him a satisfied look. “Maybe,” you said sweetly, “but you like it.”
He sighed dramatically, still flustered but clearly loving every second of your teasing. “Yeah, I guess I do.”
Spencer’s hands slipped from your hips, wrapping around your waist instead as he pulled you closer. “But if you threaten me with spitting again,” he whispered, his voice dropping to a mock-serious tone, “I might have to get you back.”
You raised an eyebrow, intrigued. “Oh? And how exactly would you do that?”
He smirked, leaning in closer so his lips were just inches from yours. “I guess you’ll have to find out,” he murmured before kissing you deeply, the playfulness of the moment fading into something more tender and intimate.
“You want to show me?” you whispered against his lips, nipping softly at Spencer’s lower lip, sending a shiver down his spine.
He groaned in response, the sharp, sweet pain igniting something inside him. But as much as the dirty talk stirred him, he hesitated. Spencer wasn’t as experienced as his playful words suggested, even though he'd picked up more than a few lines from the books he'd read — including a couple of romance novels that had taught him a thing or two.
Still, feeling the heat between you, Spencer nodded, leaning in for a kiss. This one wasn’t gentle or tentative, but filled with passion, tongues meeting, teeth grazing lips, and it set off a fire in both of your bellies. 
Your hands gripped at his hair, pulling him closer as his hands moved up your sides, exploring every inch of you, unsure but eager. The kiss deepened, both of you giving in to the moment, feeling the intensity grow between you. It was uncharted territory for him, but he was more than willing to learn with you.
Feeling bold, Spencer let his hands slide down to cup your ass, squeezing tentatively. The whimper that escaped your lips as his fingers dug into your flesh sent a surge of pride through him. He was still a little unsure, but that reaction told him he was on the right track.
But then you pulled back slightly, your eyes glinting with mischief. “Is this what I get? I might have to threaten you more often…”
Something primal seemed to take over Spencer at your teasing words, and before he knew it, his hand came down in a sharp, quick slap against your ass. The sound echoed around the room, but it was your loud, unrestrained moan that had his pulse racing.
His eyes widened, both with shock at his own actions and the reaction it had caused. “You like that?” he asked, his voice thick with a mixture of curiosity and raw desire, unable to believe what had just happened — and how much it seemed to affect both of you.
You met his gaze, your breath coming in shallow gasps as you nodded, biting your lip. “Yeah,” you whispered, your voice husky with need. “I do.”
Spencer swallowed hard, realizing he might have just unlocked something new between the two of you — something he was more than ready to explore.
Spencer pulled you back in, capturing your lips in an even deeper kiss, his tongue teasing yours while his hand came down with another sharp slap to your ass. The moan that left your mouth vibrated against his, making his head spin as you ground down on his growing bulge, the heat between you two intensifying by the second.
You both moved together in a desperate, frenzied rhythm, as if the space between your bodies was too much to bear. The need for more overwhelmed both of you, pushing the tension higher, the air thick with desire.
Spencer’s hands gripped your hips tightly, guiding your movements as he let out little grunts and groans, lost in the sensation. Then, with a sharp intake of breath, he threw his head back, pulling you down harder into him, his whole body shuddering as he finished with a deep, guttural groan. 
Panting heavily, his fingers still dug into your hips, he slowly came back down from his high, his forehead resting against yours as both of you caught your breath. The heat between you still simmered, but the moment of release left both of you tingling and a little dazed, wrapped in the intimacy of the moment.
You looked down at him with a playful smirk, unable to resist teasing him just a little. "Spence... did you just come in your pants?"
Still breathing heavily, he nodded, his cheeks flushing slightly. "Yup."
You let out a laugh, shifting slightly on his lap, causing him to groan at the sudden movement against his sensitive cock. "Oops, sorry, baby," you said with a mischievous grin, sitting back on his thighs. "I didn't realize you were so close."
Spencer leaned his head back on the couch, his eyes closed as he tried to steady his breathing. The angle gave you a perfect view of his sharp jawline, and you couldn't help but admire how utterly spent—and gorgeous—he looked in that moment. "I didn't either," he admitted with a small chuckle, the corners of his mouth twitching.
"Lots of pent-up emotions, huh?" you teased, letting your finger trail lightly over the wet spot on his pants. He twitched at the sensation, quickly grabbing your wrist and gently pushing your hand away. He lifted his head, playfully glaring at you, though there was no malice in his gaze, only affection.
"Not funny," he muttered, trying to stifle a smile.
You giggled, leaning down to kiss his cheek, unable to resist teasing him one last time. "Maybe not for you... but I find it pretty adorable."
“Adorable? Last time you said it was hot,” Spencer pouted, his expression turning to one of mortification as the realization hit him. “Oh my god, I’ve done this twice. Maybe I am a virgin.”
You couldn’t help but laugh, your heart melting for him. Leaning in, you kissed him gently, hoping to ease his mind and distract him from his embarrassment. “It’s hot and adorable, Spence,” you whispered against his lips, your tone soft and reassuring. “And, trust me, very flattering.”
But Spencer still looked unsure, his brows knitting together in uncertainty. You could see his mind working, trying to make sense of it, and you knew he wasn’t fully convinced just yet.
With a sultry smile, you leaned in closer, your breath warm against his ear. “Do you want to see how hot I find it? How hot I find you?” Your voice dripped with desire, and Spencer’s breath hitched, his eyes widening as he nodded dumbly, ready and willing to follow your lead.
You took his hand in yours, guiding it down the front of your sleep shorts, pressing his fingers against the undeniable evidence of your arousal. His eyes widened even more as he felt just how wet you were for him, his lips parting in a quiet gasp.
“That’s how much I liked it,” you whispered, watching his reaction closely. Spencer’s mouth fell open, his fingers instinctively pressing deeper, causing a soft moan to escape your lips.
“Oh wow, wow, you're really wet,” Spencer said in awe, his voice full of innocent surprise.
You let out a soft laugh, biting your lip as you ground down on his hand. “I know, baby. You really turn me on.”
His eyes widened even more, his mouth dropping open as he took in the full extent of your arousal. “No, you’re soaking my hand, darling,” he murmured, the way he said that sending shivers down your spine.
A moan slipped from your lips as you instinctively ground down on his fingers, seeking more friction. “Oh fuck,” Spencer breathed, his eyes dark with lust. “Are you riding my hand?”
You nodded, dazed and overwhelmed by the pleasure coursing through you. His fingers stayed inside, moving ever so slightly as you rocked your hips, riding him. The sensation was too much and not enough all at once, and the sound of his breathless voice only made you want more.
Spencer’s eyes flicked back and forth between your face and where his hand disappeared into your shorts, mesmerized by the sight and the sounds you were making. "I can't believe I'm making you feel this good," he whispered, more to himself than to you, the awe in his voice making you shudder in delight.
“Spence, this feels so good, my god, but… my knees are cramping,” you complained breathlessly, your body trembling from the sensation.
Without missing a beat, Spencer immediately pulled his hand away, giving you the space to move. You let out a soft whine at the sudden loss, and he smirked down at you. “Well, do you want to move or not?”
Rolling your eyes, you climbed off his lap and sprawled out on the couch, looking up at him expectantly. You were ready for whatever came next, your body still humming with anticipation. But Spencer did something completely unexpected.
Instead of wiping his hand off, as you had assumed he would, you watched as his gaze flickered down to the wetness covering his fingers. His brows furrowed slightly in curiosity, as if he were studying it. Before you could say anything, Spencer did the unfathomable—he brought his fingers to his mouth, slowly sliding them past his lips.
A deep, low moan escaped him as he tasted you, his eyes fluttering shut for a moment as if he were savoring the taste.
“Oh my god,” you whispered, absolutely floored by the sight. Your heart raced, heat rushing through your body as you watched him, your own arousal building even higher. You couldn’t believe how much this innocent man was making you lose control.
“Fuck,” Spencer murmured when he finally pulled his now-clean fingers from his mouth, his eyes dark with lust. “You taste amazing.”
The look on your face must have been one of pure shock because Spencer quickly followed up with a concerned, “Was that okay?”
You didn’t even hesitate. “Shut up right now and kiss me,” you said, your voice urgent and breathless.
Without missing a beat, Spencer leaned down, crashing his lips onto yours. The kiss was electric, fueled by the raw intensity of the moment. You could taste yourself faintly on his lips, which only made you hungrier for him. Your hands tangled in his hair, pulling him closer, and Spencer let out a low groan as he deepened the kiss, his body pressing against yours as if he couldn’t get enough.
You couldn’t remember the last time you’d felt this level of desire, but with Spencer, everything felt heightened, like every touch and every kiss was sending shockwaves through you.
This was the filthiest, sloppiest, most passionate kiss either of you had ever shared with anyone. The intensity was palpable, your bodies pressed together so tightly it felt as though there wasn’t enough room in the world to contain the desire between you. You couldn’t get enough, your hands tugging at Spencer’s hair, sliding under his shirt to scratch his back, pinching his nipples, reveling in the way he responded—moaning into your mouth, his own hands gripping you with a hunger that mirrored yours.
It was hard to tell how long you kissed—minutes or hours, time seemed to blur—but eventually, Spencer pulled back, gasping for breath, his chest heaving. His eyes roamed over you, taking in the sight of your hair spread out like a halo on the couch, your chest rising and falling with rapid breaths, your eyes darkened with lust and, though neither of you had said it yet, a glimmer of what could only be described as love.
“Darling,” he panted, his voice rough and thick with need, “can we go to your bed? I want to treat you this time.”
You didn’t need to be told twice. You were up in a flash, pulling your beautiful, sweet boyfriend with you, his hand wrapped in yours as you rushed toward your bedroom. You’d never moved so fast in your life, eager for what was to come, for the pleasure he promised.
Once in the bedroom, Spencer's hands wasted no time. He immediately tugged your shorts and underwear down, discarding them in a flash before pulling off your shirt with the same eagerness, leaving you completely bare before him. His eyes roamed over you with pure admiration, awe evident in every part of his expression.
“Did you get more beautiful?” he asked breathlessly, the sincerity of the compliment making you feel flushed.
You playfully slapped his chest, a small smile tugging at your lips. “Shut up,” you teased, leaning up to kiss him as your hands found the hem of his T-shirt, pulling it over his head. But just as you reached for his pants, Spencer gently pushed you back down onto the bed.
“This is about you, my love.”
The words hung in the air, sweet and heavy with meaning. My love. It was new, but it felt right—natural, even. Before you could respond, Spencer pushed you onto the bed and lowered himself to your chest, his lips closing around one of your nipples. His mouth was soft, tender, at first, but then you felt his teeth sink in, sharp enough to make you gasp, a promise of the mark he was leaving behind.
Your back arched, pressing your body further into him, your hands gripping the sheets beneath you as you lost yourself in the feel of him—of his mouth, his hands, his love.
Spencer’s mouth continued its exploration, alternating between your breasts and sending warm pulses of pleasure through your body. His attention to detail was incredible, every touch, every kiss feeling like a deliberate act of worship. He took his time, caressing you as though you were the most delicate and precious thing in the world. The intimacy of it all overwhelmed you, a mixture of tenderness and building desire swirling inside.
When his soft kisses finally began to descend down your stomach, a light giggle escaped your lips—it tickled, playful and gentle. But that laughter vanished the moment his lips found your inner thigh, sucking a mark into your sensitive skin. Spencer’s large hands gripped your thighs, spreading them open wide for him, his touch reverent but firm.
“Spen—Spencer,” you panted, glancing down at him. His big, beautiful brown eyes met yours, glazed with determination and lust, but also something tender. He kept his gaze locked on you as he kissed along your thigh, making your breath hitch. "Have you... done this before?"
He paused, releasing your thigh from his mouth with a small, almost playful pop. “No,” he admitted honestly, “but I have read plenty about the acts of cunnilingus, and I think I will be able to satisfy you. As long as you communicate with me, okay?”
The honesty in his voice, the seriousness of his intent, sent another wave of heat rushing through you. Spencer reached for one of your hands, which had been gripping the sheets so tightly. He held it gently, reassuring you, grounding you. You nodded eagerly, your breath coming out in shallow pants, giving him permission to continue.
And without further hesitation, Spencer dove back in, his kisses now dangerously close to your core. The anticipation was electrifying, and you could already tell—he was going to be good at this. Very good.
And good he was. The second Spencer's tongue touched you, it was like fireworks exploded behind your eyes, sending electricity shooting through your veins. The intensity of it all nearly overwhelmed you, especially when you heard his voice, low and mumbled against you. 
“Eyes on me,” he said, the words vibrating against you.
You forced your eyes open and looked down, the sight nearly sending you over the edge. Spencer, his head buried between your legs, met your gaze with intense eye contact as his tongue continued to explore you. The sensation, paired with the way he moaned into you, made your whole body tremble. It was impossible to deny how much he enjoyed it, the way he tasted you straight from the source, his pleasure evident in every sound and movement.
As phenomenal as it was, you still craved more stimulation. And Spencer had asked you to communicate, so you squeezed his hand, your voice shaky. “Baby?”
He hummed into you, the vibration making you whine and twitch involuntarily. “Can you... unghh—can you find the clit?”
Spencer chuckled softly, clearly amused but also eager to show that his knowledge wasn’t just theoretical. Almost immediately, he hit the target, causing your body to jerk at the sudden burst of pleasure.
“Go–good,” you gasped, your voice thick with need. “Now suck.”
And he did.
Spencer didn't need to be told twice. The second you asked, he focused his attention on your clit, enveloping it gently between his lips. A low moan escaped his throat, vibrating against you as he began to suck softly, testing the waters. Your body jolted at the sensation, your back arching as an involuntary gasp tore through you.
"Yes, just like that..." you whispered breathlessly, your grip tightening on his hand, the other fisting the sheets as waves of pleasure rolled through you. It was overwhelming in the best way, and Spencer wasn’t just doing well—he was doing phenomenally. His tongue flicked and swirled as if with practiced precision, the moans he let out making everything ten times more intense.
You could feel yourself getting closer, the tension building rapidly, coiling tighter and tighter in your core. Every flick of his tongue, every pull of his lips was bringing you higher, faster. It was as if he knew exactly what you needed, and the connection between you both in this moment felt almost sacred.
Your legs began to tremble, and your breathing grew more erratic. "Spence, I’m—oh my god, I'm so close," you whimpered, your hand instinctively moving to tangle in his hair, gripping tight as the pleasure threatened to push you over the edge.
Spencer hummed in acknowledgment, his eyes still locked onto yours, unwavering, making the moment even more intense. His grip on your hand tightened as if encouraging you to let go, to surrender to the pleasure completely.
And when his tongue applied just the right amount of pressure, his lips sucking gently but firmly on your clit, that tension finally snapped. Your body convulsed, a guttural moan escaping you as the orgasm crashed over you, waves of ecstasy leaving you trembling and gasping for air.
"That's it," Spencer murmured, his voice low and raspy, sounding both proud and a little in awe as he watched you unravel under him.
Your chest heaved as you tried to catch your breath, looking down at him with a dazed smile. He hadn't pulled away yet, still gently caressing your sensitive skin with the softest of kisses, making sure you were coming down from your high as gently as possible.
“Spencer...” you managed to breathe out, your voice a mix of disbelief and pure satisfaction. You hadn’t thought it possible, but he had completely exceeded your expectations.
He grinned up at you, his mouth still glistening with evidence of your release. “I guess the reading paid off, huh?” he teased, his voice full of affection and just a hint of smugness.
You chuckled weakly, your whole body still tingling with aftershocks. "Oh, it definitely paid off..."
“Earth to Y/N,” Spencer teased, coming up beside you, pressing a gentle kiss to your cheek. His warm breath tickled your skin as he added with a soft laugh, “Are you alright?”
You blinked out of your daze, still recovering from the incredible experience, and turned to look at him with wide, astonished eyes. “Anytime you need a study buddy," you said, your voice filled with awe, "anytime, you call me."
Spencer chuckled, his cheeks tinged pink as he brushed a strand of hair behind your ear. "I'll keep that in mind," he replied with a wink.
After you returned to earth, Spencer gently helped you up and led you to the bathroom, drawing a warm, soothing bath. He carefully eased you both into the tub, your back resting against his chest, the comforting warmth of the water surrounding you. The intimacy of the moment was in the simplicity of it—just the two of you, cocooned in the peaceful, quiet space.
As you both settled in, the conversation flowed naturally, a mix of everything and nothing. Spencer told you more details about his extensive schooling, sharing amusing stories about his early university days, while you, in turn, told him about how you ended up adopting Poof, your beloved cat.
At one point, Spencer furrowed his brow, realizing something. “Speaking of, where is Poof?” he asked, looking around as if your mischievous cat might suddenly appear. “I feel like I haven’t seen him in a while.”
You giggled, your hand absently stroking Spencer's leg beneath the water as you explained. “Oh, he’s become the building cat," you said with affection in your voice. "The townhouses are connected by fire escapes in the back, and Poof likes to explore. He moves back and forth between the different houses. I guess you’ve just been missing him.”
Spencer chuckled softly, resting his chin on your shoulder, clearly intrigued. “A little adventurer, huh? Well, hopefully, I’ll catch him in action one of these days.”
You smiled, leaning back more into him, feeling completely at ease as the two of you basked in the comfortable rhythm of your conversation and the quiet warmth of the water.
Spencer sat stiffly in the chair across from Chief Strauss’ desk, his hands folded in his lap as he waited for whatever new torment she had in store for him. He was sure his tests were clean, they always were. But he also knew Strauss had been gunning for him for years now, and this meeting was likely just another way to shake him down, to keep him on edge.
As he stared at the piles of neatly stacked papers on her desk, Strauss held up a finger, signaling for him to wait as she answered an incoming call. Spencer huffed internally, trying to push down the frustration bubbling up inside him. But when she answered the phone, something about her tone caught his attention.
"Chief Strauss," she said, her voice all business at first, but then, to Spencer’s shock, a smile broke out across her face. "Oh, hi, Red, how are you, dear?"
Spencer’s head snapped up, his eyes narrowing slightly. Red? It couldn’t be…could it? His mind raced, desperately trying to make sense of it. The name, the affectionate tone—it sounded eerily similar to the nickname you had mentioned your aunt called you. But that was just a coincidence, right? 
Strauss continued her conversation, oblivious to Spencer’s sudden change in demeanor. "Yes, yes, of course. I’ll make sure it gets done. Oh, and how is little Poof doing?"
Spencer's heart stopped. Poof? No. There was no way this could be a coincidence now. His mind raced as he pieced it together. Red … Poof …Your aunt. His eyes widened in realization, but he kept his face neutral, trying not to betray the wave of shock crashing over him.
Strauss glanced at him briefly as she continued her conversation, still smiling. Spencer's thoughts were spinning. Was your aunt Erin Strauss?
Spencer was spiraling, his mind whirling with disbelief as Chief Strauss hung up the phone, turning her attention back to him. He was trying to maintain composure, but it was like everything around him was crumbling. She had called you Red. She had mentioned Poof. It was all too much.
“So, Reid,” Strauss began, clasping her hands on the desk in front of her. Her tone shifted back to business. “How have you been managing? With the recovery, I mean. I understand the tests have been clean, but I want to know how you’re really doing.”
Spencer’s jaw tightened. His nerves were already shot, and now with this revelation about you weighing on him, he couldn’t hold back. His voice came out sharper than he intended.
“Why does it even matter?” Spencer snapped, glaring at her. “You’ve been waiting for me to slip up, to fail. You never believed in my recovery from the start.”
Strauss raised an eyebrow, her expression hardening. "I’m trying to protect you, Reid, as much as I’m trying to protect others from you."
Spencer's stomach twisted. “Protect me? From what exactly? You’ve been gunning for me ever since I admitted to my addiction. You hate me.” His voice shook, his frustration bubbling over.
Strauss took a deep breath, her face softening, but her words cut deep. "I don’t hate you, Spencer. But I know what addiction can do to a person, to a family."
Spencer narrowed his eyes, his voice thick with suspicion. "What’s that supposed to mean?"
"My sister and her husband," Strauss said, her voice wavering slightly, "they died from drugs. Overdosed. My niece is an addict too, lost to us."
Spencer felt a chill wash over him, and his voice dropped as he asked, "Y/N’s parents?"
Strauss swallowed thickly, nodding, her eyes momentarily flicking away from his. "Yes. And do you think I’m going to stand by and watch her get hurt again? Watch another person she cares about spiral into that life?" Her gaze locked back onto Spencer’s, now filled with a fierce determination. "No, Spencer. I’m not going to let you ruin her life like her father did."
The words hit Spencer like a physical blow, leaving him breathless. His heart raced, anger and guilt twisting together painfully in his chest. This threat—Strauss’s belief that he was a danger to you, that his history with addiction made him a risk—was like a punch to the gut.
"I’m not him," Spencer whispered, his voice barely audible. His hands clenched into fists on his lap. "I’m not going to hurt her."
Strauss’s gaze softened slightly, but her tone remained firm. "I hope you’re right, Reid. But I can’t afford to take chances when it comes to her. Not after everything she’s been through. So, yes, the drug tests stay. And if I see one misstep, I won’t hesitate to remove you from this team, or from her life."
Spencer felt his anger boil over, his fists clenched as he leaned forward in the chair. “You can’t stop me from seeing her, we’re both adults. You have no right to interfere.”
Strauss leaned back in her chair, calm in the face of his anger. Her voice was low, but it cut through the room with precision. “Does she know about your addiction, Spencer?”
The question hung in the air like a ticking time bomb, and Spencer froze. His face told her everything she needed to know—he hadn’t told you. 
Strauss’s lips curled slightly, not in triumph but in grim acknowledgment. “Then you better not mess up,” she said, her voice cold and menacing.
Spencer stood up abruptly, the air feeling suffocating in her office. He was furious—not just with Strauss, but with himself. He knew he’d been holding something back from you, just as you had from him. He hadn’t told you about his past, hadn’t opened up about his addiction, the demons he fought to keep buried. And now he was in this twisted position, where your aunt knew more about him than you did.
It wasn’t fair. None of this was fair.
He stormed out of Strauss’s office, his heart racing, feeling cornered in a way he hadn’t felt in a long time. He was upset that you hadn’t told him who your aunt was, hadn’t trusted him with that part of your life. But deep down, he knew he was no better. He had held back too—out of fear, out of shame.
As he left the building and stepped out into the cold air, Spencer’s mind whirled. He had to talk to you. He had to come clean before everything unraveled. You both deserved the truth.
You knocked on Spencer’s door that evening, a bottle of wine tucked under your arm and a loaf of fresh French bread in your hand. You’d spent the afternoon preparing his favorite pasta dish, hoping for a quiet, cozy night together after the busy week you both had. When Spencer opened the door, you gave him a warm smile.
“Hey, baby,” you greeted, leaning up to give him a quick kiss on the cheek. 
But the look on Spencer’s face made your heart drop. His eyes were dark, his expression serious. The atmosphere was heavy, and you could tell immediately that something was wrong. 
“When were you going to tell me that Strauss is your aunt?” he asked, his voice steady but laced with frustration. 
You froze, the smile fading from your face. “What?”
“I found out today,” Spencer continued, stepping aside to let you in but not looking at you. “From her, actually. I thought... I thought we were being honest with each other.”
You sighed, setting down the wine and bread on his kitchen counter, turning to face him. “Spence, I was going to tell you. I just… I got scared.”
“Scared of what?” His eyes searched yours, looking for an explanation that could make this better, that could ease the confusion and frustration swirling in his mind.
You ran a hand through your hair, fidgeting slightly. “Scared because you work for her. I didn’t want things to get complicated or messy between you two. I didn’t want you to think I was keeping it from you on purpose.”
Spencer’s face softened slightly as he processed your words, but he still didn’t seem fully convinced. “Why wouldn’t you just tell me, though? I wouldn’t have cared about who your aunt is, I care about you.”
You took a deep breath, stepping closer to him, reaching for his hands. “I know, Spencer. I know. I just… I didn’t want things to get weird at work for you. And honestly, I didn’t know how to bring it up. I’ve been afraid of how it might change things, I didn’t want to add more stress.”
Spencer’s shoulders relaxed a little as he listened to your explanation. He squeezed your hands, a silent gesture of understanding. He could see the sincerity in your eyes, the hesitation that wasn’t born out of deceit but out of fear of complicating things for both of you. 
“I get it,” Spencer said softly after a moment. “I just… I don’t want us to keep things from each other. It’s important to me that we’re open.”
You nodded, squeezing his hands back. “I promise. No more secrets.”
Spencer smiled slightly, his frustration easing. He let out a deep breath, feeling the tension leave his body. For a moment, he considered telling you about his past—about the addiction, the drug tests, everything that Strauss had thrown at him earlier. But when he looked into your eyes, remembering the way you spoke about your family, the raw pain in your voice, he couldn’t bring himself to do it. Not yet. He didn’t want to burden you with it, not when things were finally starting to feel right between you.
“Let’s just... enjoy dinner,” Spencer finally said, a small smile playing on his lips as he pulled you closer into a hug. “I’m sorry for bringing it up like that. I should’ve waited.”
You sighed in relief, burying your face in his chest. “No, I’m glad you did. I don’t want to keep anything from you either.”
You both held each other for a moment longer, letting the tension fade as the warmth of your embrace brought back a sense of normalcy. Spencer kissed the top of your head before stepping back and heading into the kitchen, ready to move forward, even if some things were still left unsaid—for now.
Just a few weeks later, Spencer finally had a full weekend off, he decided it was the perfect opportunity for a little getaway. He packed up everything—yourself, Poof, and plenty of supplies—and whisked you away to a cozy Airbnb nestled by the lake. 
You could hardly contain your excitement, bubbling over at the thought of spending uninterrupted time with your two favorite guys. Spencer had asked you to drive while he took charge of navigation, and the car ride was nothing short of a delight. 
“Turn left here, darling,” Spencer instructed with an air of confidence.
"Are you sure it’s not right?" you teased, feigning confusion as you gripped the wheel.
Spencer let out an exaggerated sigh, shaking his head with mock exasperation. “I’m positive. I do have an eidetic memory, you know.”
“Well, if we get lost, I’m holding that memory of yours accountable!” you shot back playfully, a smile spreading across both your faces.
When you finally pulled up to the lake house, you couldn't help but gasp. It was picturesque—a beautiful, quaint cabin surrounded by towering trees, with the glistening lake stretching out in the background. 
The look of pride on Spencer’s face at your reaction made your heart swell. You were completely and utterly in love. As you stood there, taking in the stunning view and the sheer thoughtfulness of his planning, you felt like this weekend was the right moment to finally tell him how you truly felt.
That evening, as the sun dipped below the horizon, you and Spencer moved seamlessly through the cozy kitchen, putting together the perfect comfort meal of grilled cheese and tomato soup. Poof danced happily around your feet, always at the ready for any fallen scraps. The two of you playfully bumped hips, stole soup-covered kisses, and teased each other in the warm glow of the cabin’s lights.
After dinner, which was full of laughter and mock arguments over who could make the better grilled cheese, you cleared the table together, setting up a chessboard for a battle of wits. You knew Spencer was a prodigy, but still, you had hope. The first few rounds were... well, an obvious defeat. But then, to your surprise, you managed to win. Once. Twice. And then three times in a row! What you didn’t know was that Spencer was letting you win, his resolve crumbling at the sight of your frustrated pout. He’d pretend to mull over a move for far longer than needed, before “accidentally” making a poor choice that would lead to your victory.
Eventually, you’d had enough of the mental sparring, and Spencer’s kisses grew softer and deeper. Together, you moved outside to the wooden deck, wrapped up under a blanket, the stars reflecting in the lake’s glassy surface. The night air was crisp and fresh, a gentle breeze brushing your cheeks as you cuddled closer. 
Spencer pointed upward, tracing his finger along the sky, excitedly talking about constellations, their names, and the myths behind them. But you weren’t looking at the stars—your eyes were on him, captivated by the way his face glowed in the moonlight, his passion lighting up every word he spoke.
Without thinking, feeling overwhelmed by the moment and the deep love that filled your chest, you whispered, “I love you.”
The words felt like they hung in the air, sparkling and true under the canopy of stars.
Spencer’s face lit up as he tilted down toward you, and in that moment, it seemed as if the stars had all come to rest in his eyes, twinkling brightly with wonder and adoration. His voice was soft but filled with an almost childlike excitement, the kind reserved for a Christmas morning surprise, “Really?”
“Really,” you assured him, voice steady, your gaze never wavering from his, allowing the truth of your feelings to shine through. 
He swallowed, searching your eyes as if trying to imprint every detail of this moment into his mind. “You love me?” he asked again, needing the confirmation, the words sounding so surreal to him.
“I love you, Spencer Walter Reid,” you declared, each word measured and intentional, and you watched as joy transformed his features, his eyes closing briefly in overwhelming happiness.
The next thing you felt was Spencer’s lips on yours, pressing gently at first, the kiss filled with all the tenderness and unspoken words you’d both kept hidden until now. It was sweet, slow, and beautiful, and you could feel Spencer trembling slightly, as if holding back everything he wanted to say with his lips alone. He pulled back just a breath, letting his forehead rest on yours as he whispered with a trembling smile, “I love you too.”
And then he dove back in for more—kisses deeper, breaths heavier. Your hands tangled in his hair, his fingers tracing the contours of your back, pressing you closer until there was no space left between you. What started as slow and sweet quickly turned heated, and Spencer’s kisses grew hungrier, his tongue tasting every part of your mouth, his hands wandering further down.
It was only when you felt the cool night air on your exposed skin that you giggled and gently pulled back, breathing heavily against his lips. “We’re outside, baby,” you murmured, your voice a mix of breathlessness and warning.
Spencer hummed, the sound vibrating through his chest, and with a playful smirk, he pulled you to your feet, not letting your lips part from his. “Then we’d better get inside,” he said, his voice low and urgent, the promise of more lingering in the air as he led you toward the warmth of the cabin, hands intertwined, the night just beginning.
As you were guided along by Spencer's eager hand, your laughter filled the small cabin, echoing off the wooden beams of the cozy bedroom. The room itself was warm, glowing with the soft hues of amber light from the fireplace, its crackling flames adding to the perfect atmosphere. The bed looked irresistibly inviting, its blankets perfectly rumpled in a way that made you want to dive right in. But what really made the room perfect was Spencer—his face lighting up in a way you’d rarely seen before, his exaggerated wink playful and filled with the purest joy. 
When Spencer sat on the edge of the bed and stretched his arms out for you, you wasted no time stepping into his embrace, your body molding perfectly into the space between his legs as you wrapped your arms around his shoulders, leaning into the warmth of him. He buried his face in your chest, his voice muffled but filled with emotion as he mumbled, “I love you so much.”
You smiled, pressing a gentle kiss to the top of his head as you teased softly, “I love you more.”
Spencer shook his head immediately, hair brushing your chin and sending little shivers down your spine. “Not possible,” he declared, his voice firm, like he was making a statement that was undeniable.
“Oh, I don’t know, baby,” you taunted lightly, trying to stifle the grin that was spreading across your face. But Spencer pulled back, his eyes locking with yours in a way that made you feel like the only person in the world. 
A look of challenge danced across his features, his brows lifting as he quirked a smirk at you. “You don’t believe me?” he asked, voice deepening with a teasing edge.
You shook your head, biting your lip to keep from laughing, a playful glint in your eyes. And in a flash, Spencer’s face morphed into one of mischievous determination. “Oh, you little—” he began, his voice dripping with affectionate frustration as he quickly flipped your positions, pushing you back onto the bed and towering over you.
“Spencer!” you squealed in laughter, propping yourself up on your elbows to get a better look at him as he tossed his shirt aside without a second thought, revealing his smooth chest. He leaned over you, caging you in with his arms on either side of your head, and his face was so close you could feel the warmth of his breath fanning across your lips.
“Shh,” he whispered with a smirk, “I have to show you how much I love you.” And with those words, you knew that every second of this weekend together would be filled with a love so fierce, so genuine, that it was going to be impossible not to fall for him all over again.
Spencer's mouth moved eagerly down your neck, his lips trailing soft, warm kisses that made your skin tingle in their wake. He nipped at your earlobe, tugging it gently between his teeth, and the sensation drew a light, breathy moan from you, your back arching ever so slightly into him. The sound seemed to spur him on, and he continued his descent, pausing to suck gently on your pulse point as his hands explored your sides, fingers brushing against the sensitive skin of your waist.
When his hands found the hem of your top, he slowly pushed it upward, his palms grazing your ribs, sending shivers through you. You let out a sigh, already feeling yourself melt under his touch, and obediently raised your arms so he could remove the fabric entirely, leaving you bare from the waist up. Spencer's eyes darkened with desire, and you could see the way his lips parted slightly as he took you in, your form illuminated by the soft glow of the room.
“No bra?” he asked, a teasing edge to his voice, though his gaze was nothing short of reverent as it roved over your body. One brow quirked up in curiosity, his lips twitching in a smirk.
You laughed, a breathy, contented sound, shrugging as you met his gaze. “I’m on vacation.”
Spencer's smirk widened, and he nosed his way down between your breasts, inhaling deeply as if savoring your scent. His lips brushed against your skin in a whisper of a kiss. “I knew it was a good idea bringing you here,” he murmured against your skin, his voice husky with want and affection. 
And as he continued his exploration of your body with his mouth and hands, you were filled with warmth and a sense of belonging, knowing that this was exactly where you were meant to be—with him.
The sensation of Spencer’s mouth on your skin sent sparks throughout your body, your breath hitching as his lips closed around your nipple, sucking gently. You arched your back instinctively, pressing yourself closer to his mouth, wanting more, needing more. He hummed contentedly, the vibrations sending jolts of pleasure right through you. 
His tongue swirled around the sensitive bud, switching between flicking and gentle sucking that had you gripping the sheets beneath you, your fingers twisting into the soft fabric as your eyes fluttered shut. Every movement was slow, deliberate, and filled with devotion, as if he was determined to savor every second of your pleasure. 
As he worshiped your breast, his free hand trailed down your side, leaving a trail of goosebumps in its wake, fingers feather-light against your skin. You could feel the warmth of his touch through the thin fabric of your shorts, and when his fingers brushed the waistband, your hips bucked upward, desperate for more contact. 
Spencer’s lips left your breast with a soft pop, his breath warm and ragged as he whispered against your skin, “You taste so good... I could do this forever.”
His words, filled with awe and passion, made you moan in response, threading your fingers through his hair and holding him close to you. And you didn't want him to stop; you wanted every touch, every kiss, every second of his attention to be on you, completely and utterly lost in the moment together.
Spencer’s lips found yours again, kissing you deeply, hungrily, as if he was trying to pour all the love he felt into every brush and caress. You sighed into his mouth, your own hands tangling in his hair, pulling him closer, if that was even possible. And then, as if reading your mind, you felt his hand venture downward, fingers slipping under the waistband of your bottoms, and you gasped at the intimate touch, the sensation so electric it made your toes curl.
“Fuck,” Spencer breathed against your lips, his voice heavy with awe and desire. “You’re so wet.”
The sound of his voice saying those words sent a shiver straight through your core, and you whined softly, squirming under his touch, desperate for more. Your hips bucked involuntarily, seeking his fingers, trying to guide him where you needed him most. “Spence, baby,” you whined again, your voice breathy and pleading as you pressed kisses to his jaw, “please...”
His eyes met yours, dark and full of hunger, and he gave you a little smirk, clearly enjoying the effect he had on you. “Tell me what you need, darling,” he whispered, his lips ghosting over yours as his fingers teased just outside your lips, keeping you on the edge of wanting. “Let me hear you say it.”
Your breath hitched, his teasing making you ache with longing. “I need you, Spence,” you whispered, voice trembling. “I need you to touch me, please.” 
He hummed approvingly against your mouth, giving you a tender kiss before letting his fingers dip down, finally giving you what you so desperately craved. His touch was slow, deliberate, but his eyes never left yours, wanting to see every reaction as his fingers entered you.
You had anticipated the gentle, lingering touches from the last time, but Spencer had other plans. The tenderness was gone in an instant, replaced by an urgent, almost primal need to make you fall apart in his hands. The pace he set was relentless—his fingers moved in and out of you hard and fast, pushing deeper each time, and the sensation of his palm rubbing against you with every thrust was electrifying.
“Spencer—oh god!” you cried out, gripping the sheets beneath you in a white-knuckled grasp. He wasn’t just touching you—he was consuming you, each movement of his hand pulling you closer and closer to the edge, a chaotic frenzy that left you breathless. Every stroke sent waves of pleasure crashing through you, leaving you trembling beneath him.
His lips crashed against yours in a hungry kiss, all tongue and teeth, as he groaned into your mouth. “I love watching you like this,” he whispered against your lips before sucking on your lower one, his voice a low, heady drawl. “Falling apart on my fingers...”
The overwhelming sensation of Spencer’s fingers moving within you, the roughness of his palm pressing against you just right with every thrust, made you see stars. Your back arched off the bed, desperate for more, nails digging into his back, dragging red lines down his skin. You could barely speak, your words spilling out in choked, breathless cries. “Spencer—fuck—”
He leaned down, his mouth right at your ear, his breath hot as he spoke, voice dripping with husky intensity. “Does that feel good, baby?”
You nodded fervently, unable to form coherent words as you surrendered to the relentless pleasure. “Uh huh,” you managed to pant out, a whimper escaping your lips as your hips bucked wildly to meet the rhythm of his hand. 
His grin was wicked as he watched you unravel beneath him, knowing exactly how his touch was driving you to the edge. His fingers never faltered, pushing deeper and faster, and the friction of his palm rubbing against your sensitive skin was enough to make you tremble. “I can feel you tightening up around me,” he murmured, voice low and dripping with lust. “Are you gonna come for me, love?”
You let out a desperate, needy moan, the pressure building to an unbearable peak, and all you could do was nod frantically, your eyes squeezing shut as the coil inside you tightened, ready to snap. “Yes, yes, I’m—I'm so close—”
You felt dizzy with the rush of it all, the world around you spinning as he drove you further toward that cliff of pure, euphoric release. You weren't sure how long you could hold out; your body felt on fire, the pleasure bordering on overwhelming. Each breath was a gasp, each moan louder than the last, and all you could think about was how badly you needed to fall over that edge. “Spence—I’m gonna—I can’t—”
“That’s it,” he encouraged, his voice rough and laced with raw desire. “Let go, Y/N. Come for me, right now.” His pace quickened even further, and you knew you wouldn’t last a second longer. And you didn’t, completely unraveling at his words, your body arching up into his as waves of pleasure surged through you. Your moans filled the room, raw and unrestrained, and he never stopped, his fingers working you through the intensity of your release.
You trembled beneath him, your legs shaking as the last waves of your orgasm washed over you. Spencer looked at you, eyes filled with pride and wonder, like he’d never seen anything more beautiful than you coming undone because of him.
Slowly, he withdrew his fingers, gently caressing your trembling thighs as you caught your breath. He brought his fingers to his mouth, his eyes locked on yours as he cleaned them off with his tongue, tasting you again. The sight sent a renewed thrill through you, and all you could do was reach up and pull him down for a hungry kiss, needing to feel him against you, to taste yourself on his lips.
“Thought you couldn’t finish like that?” Spencer teased, his voice low and playful, recalling the first time he'd touched you like this.
You let out a breathless laugh, shaking your head in pure bliss. “I didn’t think I could,” you admitted with a grin. Then, in a teasing tone, you added, “Have you been practicing? Should I be worried?”
Spencer’s cheeks flushed a deep pink, and he quickly looked away, suddenly bashful. “N-nope. I just—uh, did some... research.”
You raised an eyebrow, trying to hold back another laugh as you saw the shyness in his eyes. “Research, huh?” you asked, leaning in closer. “What kind of research, Doctor? Did you... watch porn?”
Spencer’s blush deepened, and he rubbed the back of his neck nervously. “Maybe... a little,” he admitted in a soft mumble. “But only to—to learn, for you,” he added quickly, his eyes meeting yours with genuine sincerity.
You couldn't help but laugh softly, a warm, affectionate sound as you reached out to run your fingers through his hair. “Oh, my sweet genius,” you teased gently, cupping his face and turning him back to look at you. “You did all that research just for me? That’s so... adorable.”
His eyes finally met yours, a mixture of pride and lingering shyness in his expression. “It worked, then?” he asked cautiously, almost as if he needed reassurance.
“Oh, it definitely worked,” you replied, grinning widely before leaning in to kiss him sweetly. “And for the record,” you murmured against his lips, “if you want to keep up the research, I’m all for it.”
Spencer chuckled softly, his earlier nerves melting away as he wrapped his arms around you, pulling you close. “In that case,” he said, a playful gleam in his eye, “I have a few more things I could show you.”
“Oh yeah?” you teased back, raising an eyebrow and grinning. “Whatcha got for me, big boy?”
The nickname made him blush a deep pink, but he just rolled his eyes in that familiar, affectionate way before letting his hands roam down to your hips. With gentle care, he slipped off your bottoms, leaving you bare before him. You stayed silent, feeling a mixture of excitement and anticipation flood through you as Spencer stood and began to remove the rest of his clothes.
The moment his pants came off, you couldn’t help the gasp that escaped your lips, your eyes widening at the sight before you. “Spence?” you breathed out, your voice filled with both surprise and desire.
He grinned sheepishly, clearly trying to play it cool, but you could see the boyish excitement behind his eyes. Then, as if remembering something important, he reached down into his pants pocket and pulled out a small foil packet, holding it up with a charming smile and revealing a condom.
“I thought... I’m ready,” he said, his voice steady but filled with tenderness.
Your smile softened at his words, and you felt your heart swell with warmth and affection. “Yeah?” you replied sweetly, opening your arms to him. “I’m ready too.”
Spencer crawled back onto the bed, moving into your embrace, his body fitting perfectly against yours. His breath was warm against your skin as he leaned in closer, and with so much love in his voice, he whispered, “I want you to be my first.”
Your hand caressed his cheek, your thumb gently brushing against his soft skin. “Hopefully your last too,” you whispered back, sealing your words with a deep, passionate kiss, your bodies melting together under the glow of the soft lamplight.
“Do you need help putting the condom on, baby?” you asked, your voice sweet and full of kindness.
Spencer's cheeks flushed a light pink as he shook his head. “I, uh, I might have practiced,” he admitted sheepishly.
You couldn’t help but giggle, your heart swelling with even more affection. “How is it possible to keep loving you more and more every second?” you asked, the sincerity clear in your voice.
Spencer chuckled, leaning in to kiss you deeply, letting his lips linger against yours for a moment before he pulled back. He focused intently on rolling the condom on, and you found the way he bit his tongue in concentration absolutely endearing. It was a small detail, but it only made you fall deeper for him. 
When he finished, he looked back up at you, his eyes filled with that gentle, earnest love you’d come to know so well. “How do you want me?” you asked softly, wanting to make this perfect for him, for both of you.
Spencer’s gaze softened even more, and his hand came up to brush a strand of hair away from your face. “Just like this,” he murmured, his voice low and full of warmth. “I want to see you, all of you.”
You gave him a reassuring smile, opening your legs and wrapping them around his waist, pulling him closer. The world outside faded away, leaving just the two of you, your bodies close and your hearts even closer.
As Spencer’s tip teased through your slick folds, you couldn't help but let out a high, keening sound, the sensation electrifying. Spencer’s own response was a low groan, the vibration of his voice adding to the intensity between you. 
His brow furrowed slightly as he tried to keep control, feeling how ready you were for him. “I’m... probably not going to last long,” he admitted, his voice laced with nervousness and excitement.
You reached up to cup his cheek, pulling his gaze to yours, offering the softest smile. “I don’t care, Spence,” you said, your voice steady and full of love. “I just want to be with you.”
Spencer’s eyes softened even more, and he nodded, more to himself than to you, as if to reassure his own nerves. Slowly, carefully, he lined himself up, and with a gentle, deep breath, he began to push in. 
The feeling was overwhelming for both of you — he was entranced by the heat and tightness enveloping him, and you were spellbound by the fullness of having him inside you for the first time. You both let out soft gasps, your hands finding his as you squeezed tightly, tethering each other through the rush of emotion and sensation. 
He paused for a moment, buried to the hilt, his forehead resting against yours as you both breathed together, as one. “You feel… unbelievable,” he whispered, his voice full of wonder, as if he couldn't believe this was really happening.
“Fuck, baby, I’ve never been this full,” you moaned, your voice thick with pleasure and awe at the way he stretched and filled you so perfectly. 
“Shit, Y/N,” Spencer groaned, his hips already making shallow, instinctual thrusts as he tried to hold himself back. “You can’t say that—” he panted, feeling your words shoot straight through him. “This will be over way too fast.” He looked down at you, the flush of his cheeks meeting the pink of his lips, and the way his face was contorted in bliss made you tighten around him. You couldn’t help it. The way he was falling apart so easily was the hottest thing you'd ever seen. 
“Fuck!” he shouted, his control slipping as he pounded a fist into the pillow beside your head, burying his face against your neck for a moment. “Can I—can I move?” His breath was ragged and desperate. “I need to move. Please.”
You nodded frantically, needing him just as much, your hands sliding down his back to grip his hips, urging him to let go. “Fuck me, Spence,” you whispered right against his ear, your voice soft yet commanding. And that was all the permission he needed. 
He started moving, pulling out just enough to feel the drag of your walls before thrusting back in, his rhythm quick and needy. He was lost in the feeling of you, and each movement sent waves of pleasure through both of you, driving him closer to the edge with every stroke.
Spencer’s hips moved steadily, finding a rhythm that left both of you breathless. He surprised himself, really, the way his body instinctively knew how to take care of you, how to give you everything he could in each thrust. The intensity between you built, hot and fast, with every roll of his hips, with every gasp and moan that filled the small, cozy room.
You wrapped your legs tighter around his waist, pulling him impossibly closer, anchoring him to you like you never wanted to let go. Your arms wrapped around his neck, bringing his forehead against yours as the pleasure built between you, the closeness of your bodies only deepening the connection you felt. “I love you,” you whispered right into his ear, your voice trembling as you said the words that were so true and so filled with emotion it made your eyes sting with happy tears.
Spencer’s eyes fluttered shut at your words, his breath hitching before he responded, “I love you too, darling.” And then he kissed you—deeply, passionately, like you were his entire world and nothing else mattered. His lips moved with urgency, soft and fervent, as his pace quickened, thrusting deeper and more desperate, as if he was pouring everything he felt into you, wanting you to feel every bit of his love with each motion. The world outside seemed to fade away, and it was just the two of you, wrapped in love and warmth and the sweetest kind of bliss.
Spencer's mind was racing, but finally, his instincts kicked in, sending him a signal—an idea of exactly what you needed. He wanted to make sure that you felt everything, that he was giving you all the pleasure he could. With a slight adjustment, he pulled back just enough to slide a hand down to where the two of you met, his fingers deftly finding your clit and rubbing in quick, steady circles.
“Oh!” you cried out, your whole body jolting with the sudden burst of pleasure. Your back arched high off the bed, presenting your chest to Spencer like a gift he was eager to receive. Without a moment’s hesitation, his mouth found your breast, wrapping his lips around your nipple and sucking, the combination of sensations sending sparks down to your very core.
The feeling was overwhelming—Spencer’s hips driving into you in a rhythm that felt just right, his fingers working you to the brink, and his mouth hot and wet on your sensitive skin. Your moans filled the room, your fingers burying themselves in his hair, pulling him closer as your entire body trembled, the edge of release so close you could almost taste it.
“Oh my god—oh, god!” you screamed, your voice breaking as the pleasure built to its peak. “Fuck, I’m gonna come!” And then it hit—your core clenched around Spencer with such intensity that he nearly lost his rhythm, almost slipping out of you as your body reached its climax. 
And if Spencer thought you felt amazing before, now? Now, with your release, everything felt heightened, your walls fluttering around him, tightening and then loosening in waves that left him gasping. The slickness of your arousal made every thrust so much easier, so much more electric, that it sent shockwaves through his entire body. It wasn’t long before the overwhelming sensation tipped him over the edge, and his pace grew erratic, desperate, until he reached his own peak.
“Oh, fuck,” he panted, his voice strained with pleasure as he thrust one last time, burying himself as deeply as he could. “Shit, baby, fuck, I—I’m coming,” he stuttered, his eyes squeezing shut as he let go, every muscle in his body tensing before his release washed over him in shuddering waves.
His head fell to the crook of your neck as he finished, holding you close, both of you breathless and trembling in the aftershocks, your bodies slick with sweat and blissed out from the intensity of it all. Spencer stayed there, still buried inside of you, both of you just holding each other in the soft glow of the room, relishing the warmth, the closeness, the love.
The rest of the weekend passed in a blissful haze, wrapped in kisses, long cuddles, and moments of intimacy that made you feel closer than ever. Spencer shared his own stories, some quirky, some heartfelt, while you let him into corners of your past that had remained sealed for years.
One evening, as you were snuggled into his chest, the comforting scent of him surrounding you, you whispered something that had been tugging at the edges of your mind all weekend. “Aunt Erin started the nickname Red…” you murmured, your voice soft against the rise and fall of Spencer’s breathing. He said nothing but tightened his arms around you, letting you know he was listening. 
“But Mom and Dad called me Red too,” you continued, voice cracking slightly at the memories. “For Mom, it was a term of endearment, something she shared with her sister. It felt special... warm.” You paused, taking in a deep breath. “But for Dad… it was manipulative. He used it like some sort of charm, thinking if he called me by a special name, I’d forget everything—the pain, the anger—and welcome him back with open arms.” You swallowed, feeling the lump in your throat. “And then my sister... she started using it too. Only when she needed something—money, a place to crash. For a long time, it was tainted for me, a reminder of everything I wanted to forget.”
Spencer’s thumb stroked soothingly over your arm as you spoke, his quiet presence grounding you. “But you… you revived it for me,” you said finally, looking up into his warm, understanding eyes. “When you call me Red, it feels like it means something good again.” 
He pressed a soft kiss to your forehead, his lips lingering there as he whispered, “I’ll always make sure it means something good. I promise.” 
You let out a shaky breath, a mix of relief and contentment washing over you. In that little lakeside haven, all that existed was the two of you and the love you shared—everything else just melted away.
The trip was exactly what both of you needed. A chance to unwind, to just be together without the pressures of everyday life. When you returned the next day, Spencer was quick to ask if you could drop Poof off at your place and then come back to his apartment. He claimed it was just in case he got called away for a case in the middle of the night and needed to be near his things. But you knew better—it was really because he loved the way his sheets smelled like you when you were gone.
You didn’t argue, though. After all, the feeling was mutual, and you cherished any excuse to be wrapped up in Spencer’s space. So you made the trip back home, feeding Poof, and then promptly returned to his place to settle in for a relaxed night. The morning came too quickly, and he left for work with a gentle kiss pressed to your forehead and a spare key taped to the fridge with a note: “For whenever you need it. –S.”
Later, after you finally pulled yourself from the cozy bed and began to get ready for your day, you found yourself wandering around Spencer’s apartment, making coffee and searching for your favorite sweatshirt of his—the one that was ridiculously oversized, the one you loved to wrap yourself up in. Usually, it was draped over the back of the couch or hanging near the door, but today it was nowhere to be seen.
Thinking it might have just ended up back in his closet, you made your way there, rummaging through his neatly hung clothes. And there it was, folded on a shelf like it had been waiting for you. You reached for the familiar fabric, feeling the comforting softness in your hands, but as you moved it, something else caught your eye—a small box tucked away behind the stack of sweaters.
Your stomach twisted into knots when you read the label: Dilaudid
No. No, no, no. You felt your blood run cold, and for a moment, you were on autopilot. Hands trembling, you reached for the box and placed it on the bed, the world around you narrowing to just that single object. When you opened the lid, a flurry of papers greeted you—hospital discharge summaries, case files, rehab forms, and NA slips—all bearing Spencer’s name. Each one a piece of a puzzle you didn’t know existed, each one revealing a part of Spencer you had never seen before.
Your breathing grew shallow as you flipped through them, the weight of their contents heavy in your hands, in your heart. You knew what all of this meant; you'd lived through the nightmare of addiction with your own family. And then, as if that wasn’t enough to send your world spiraling, you found it—an unopened needle and a vial of Dilaudid. Enough to kill someone, enough to hurt, enough to drag someone back into the darkness you'd spent your whole life trying to escape.
Your world felt like it had tilted on its axis, everything you knew and trusted suddenly thrown into question. One thing you knew for certain—you couldn’t spend another second in Spencer’s apartment. You needed space to think, and every second you stayed in the apartment, surrounded by the echoes of this newfound reality, the more suffocating it felt. 
Quickly, you collected your things—your bag, your phone, absolutely not the sweatshirt that now felt so wrong to hold—and with a trembling hand, you grabbed the key Spencer had left on the fridge. As you locked the door behind you, a cold finality settled in, but then you just stood there, staring at the little gold key in your hand, paralyzed by indecision.
Do I leave it? Take it? Do I even want to come back here? Could there possibly be a good reason for why Spencer had kept this from me, for why he had hidden this massive part of himself? Your thoughts spiraled, but you couldn’t find a single strand to cling to.
Finally, shaking your head, you made your decision. You slid the key under the door, hearing the tiny scrape of metal on wood as it disappeared into the apartment you had thought was your safe place. And then you ran, down the stairs, through the lobby, to your car. You didn’t let yourself feel anything until you were back in your own home, the door shutting behind you like the closing of a chapter you didn’t know if you could reopen.
Sliding down to the floor, you hugged your knees to your chest and sobbed. All the memories came rushing back—the nights of worry, the fear of losing someone to the relentless pull of addiction, the feeling of not knowing what each day would bring. Even if Spencer wasn’t using now, even if this was something from his past, it didn’t stop the memories of your family from crashing over you like a tidal wave, dragging you under.
Poof, sensing your distress, padded over to you and rubbed his warm body against you, a small comfort in the chaos. He curled up in your lap, purring as you wrapped an arm around him, trying to steady your ragged breathing.
After what felt like hours, when the tears had finally slowed to silent streams, you wanted to call Aunt Erin, to demand answers, to understand. But the thought of telling her how you found out—of potentially risking Spencer’s job and livelihood—made you hesitate. And so you stayed there, on the floor of your apartment, crying softly as Poof purred in your lap, the comforting vibration of his presence the only thing grounding you in that moment.
Spencer had been looking forward to this moment all day—the idea of coming home to you, imagining what it would be like to share a space, to fall into that soft domesticity he craved so much. He fumbled with his keys, finally getting the door open, and stepped inside. “Y/N?” he called out, his voice echoing slightly in the empty apartment. No response. Maybe you were napping? “Darling?” he tried again, a little louder this time, hoping to hear your sweet voice drift in from another room.
The silence felt heavy, like something was wrong, but Spencer tried not to jump to conclusions. He wandered to the bedroom to change, figuring he could call you and ask if you were just out running an errand. But when he walked in, he immediately saw it—the box. It sat wide open on the bed, papers scattered as if someone had frantically sifted through it. 
All the air seemed to leave the room in that moment. Spencer’s heart pounded in his chest, each beat heavy and frantic, echoing in his ears as if the walls themselves were closing in. He rushed to the bed, hands shaking as he tried to close the box, to somehow undo what had been done. But it was too late. You had found it. You knew.
Fumbling for his phone, he tried calling you, hand slick with sweat as he pressed your contact and held it to his ear. The line rang, and rang, and rang until your voicemail picked up. “Hey, it’s Y/N, leave a message and—” Beep. 
He tried again, then again, desperation mounting with each missed call. “Y/N, please call me back. Just—just call me back, okay?” Each voice message grew more frantic, more pleading as he left you one after another, interspersed with shaky, jumbled texts trying to explain, trying to beg for a chance to talk.
Eventually, when it was clear you weren’t going to answer, Spencer felt his heart sink to depths he hadn’t known existed. You had shut him out. He was drowning in his own panic, guilt clawing at his insides like a living thing, and he felt like he had nowhere to go—no way to reach you, no way to make this right.
Swallowing thickly, and feeling like his pride was an irrelevant casualty in the wake of losing you, he called the only person who might know how to get through to you. “Agent Reid?” Strauss's voice was clipped, professional, and instantly cold. 
He tried to speak, but his voice cracked on the first word. “Strauss, it’s—it's Y/N, she found... everything. It was an accident. Please, just—can you check on her? I don't know where she is, I—” His voice broke, desperation clawing through the line.
Strauss let out a long, slow sigh. “You’re a moron,” she said simply, and then the line went dead. No reassurance. No promise to help. And that silence was the worst of all.
That night, Spencer barely moved from his spot on the bed. He sat, still fully dressed in his work clothes, the fabric wrinkling under the weight of his exhaustion as he curled around his phone, holding onto it like a lifeline. His eyes were swollen and bloodshot from the tears that he couldn’t stop, the grief for what he feared he’d lost seeping into every pore. 
The box still sat on the bed, its presence an accusation. A reminder of everything he had hidden, everything he might now lose. And in that moment, it felt like the walls of his apartment were closing in, trapping him in the silence of his own regret.
The morning light brought no solace to Spencer as he dragged himself out of bed, the weight of the previous day hanging over him like a storm cloud. His eyes were gritty and raw from the lack of sleep, his mouth dry as he went through the motions of getting ready for work, each step automatic. Splash water on the face. Brush teeth. Dress. His phone sat on the counter, silent—no new messages from you. Just the one from Strauss.
My office, first thing.
The words filled him with dread, and as he walked into the office, each step felt like he was dragging lead weights tied to his feet. When he reached Strauss’s office, she was already seated behind her desk, her expression a vicious, unreadable mask. He took the chair across from her, his back stiff as he prepared for the worst. 
“I spoke with Y/N,” Strauss said, her voice clipped, cutting like ice. Even just hearing your name was a punch to the gut. He winced, bracing himself. He had to know—whatever the truth was, he had to hear it. “And?” he managed to ask, the word barely a whisper, as if speaking louder would make it all too real.
Strauss’s gaze was sharp, unforgiving. “I’m not speaking as your unit chief when I say this—you fucked up, Spencer.”
The world seemed to tilt on its axis. Spencer’s worst fear was crashing down around him. He could already feel the numbness setting in, dulling the pain, shutting down every emotion except the guilt that gnawed at his insides like acid. “She doesn’t want to see you,” Strauss continued, and though the words were steady and cold, each one landed like a bullet. 
He nodded, his throat too tight to speak. There was nothing else to say, nothing to do but stand and leave, holding on to the last shred of composure he had left. Every step out of Strauss’s office was heavier than the last, each stride echoing in his ears as he made his way to his desk. He threw himself into his work with ferocity, desperate for a distraction, any distraction, to fill the void.
Meanwhile, miles away, you sat staring blankly at your laptop screen, trying to focus on the lines of code that blurred in front of you. But your mind was tangled in a mess of thoughts and questions, none of which had answers. What was he going to do with that dose? Is he still using? Was he going to use it all at once? Was he going to use it on me, like Dad did to Mom?
You hated how the questions came unbidden, every fear of your past dragging itself to the surface like an unrelenting tide. You couldn’t help but remember the night you found your parents—your father, using drugs to take your mother away. The thought that Spencer could be carrying anything like that darkness, even the slightest potential for harm, made your heart twist in agony. You loved him, but did you really know him? Could you trust him, after this? 
Every answer felt just out of reach, and all you could do was sit there, heart heavy and confused, trying to make sense of it all while feeling like the ground had dropped out from under your feet.
Three months had passed, a stretch of time that had felt both impossibly long and painfully short to Spencer. Three months since you’d walked out of his apartment, since the wall he’d carefully built around his heart had crumbled, since he’d been able to see you, touch you, speak with you. The only thing that got him through each day was work, the relentless cases that pulled him into the minds of others and away from his own chaos. But even then, in the rare moments of quiet, you still lingered in his thoughts.
Today, however, even work couldn’t serve as a distraction. Derek leaned on the edge of his desk, the grin on his face faltering when Spencer didn't meet his eyes. “Look, man,” Derek said, his tone soft, with that note of understanding that made Spencer want to crawl out of his own skin. “I know you’ve been bummed after your breakup with Y/N, but the team is going out tonight. You should come, it might cheer you up.”
Derek’s words, although well-intentioned, felt like a punch in the gut. He knew Derek meant well, and that the rest of the team did too, but they didn’t know the real reason things ended. Spencer couldn't tell them; it wasn’t just his story to share. He couldn’t explain the heartbreak that came from the discovery, the misunderstanding, the silence. All he could do was shake his head, eyes downcast as he muttered, “I’m good, man. Thanks though.”
Derek sighed deeply, clearly not ready to give up. “I didn’t want to have to do this,” he said, cracking his knuckles in a display of mock intimidation. “But if you don’t come out tonight, I’ll tell Penelope that you’re the one who spilled coffee on her favorite keyboard.”
Spencer’s head whipped around so fast he almost cricked his neck, his eyes wide with horror. “You wouldn’t.”
“Oh, I would, kid,” Derek nodded seriously, his expression deadpan but the mischief unmistakable in his eyes.
Spencer could see there was no way out. Derek had cornered him, and he knew Penelope’s wrath was something to be avoided at all costs. “Fine,” he conceded, huffing out a breath. “But only for a bit.”
Derek’s victorious fist pump made him chuckle despite himself. “Yes! You won’t regret it, Reid. We’ll have a blast, just wait.”
And so, later that evening, Spencer found himself tucked into a booth at the team's favorite bar, nursing a drink that burned his throat but warmed his insides. The atmosphere was light, almost buoyant—stories were exchanged, laughter flowed as freely as the drinks, and for once, he found himself genuinely enjoying the company without the constant ache that had settled in his chest since you left.
For the first time in what felt like forever, Spencer was starting to feel something close to relaxed. The chatter around the table and the warmth of his friends seemed to ease some of the tension in his body, if only for a little while. He could breathe, even laugh at times, and for a fleeting moment, it felt like maybe—just maybe—things could be okay again.
As the team sat around their booth, the energy high and the laughter loud, Spencer was oblivious to what was about to unfold. It wasn't until Derek's loud whistle pierced the air, catching everyone's attention, that he noticed something had shifted. 
“Damn, who is that fine lady?” Derek smirked, his eyes fixed on a woman who was strutting across the bar in a purple dress that left little to the imagination. 
“God, that dress is basically lingerie,” Emily leaned in to whisper, sounding a mix of admiration and awe. “I want it.”
The team shared quick glances, some amused, some appreciative of the daring outfit that hugged the woman's body perfectly. Even Spencer's eyes lingered, caught by the vibrant shade of purple—his favorite color. She looked like she had stepped out of a dream, a vision of elegance and seduction that was hard to look away from. But her face was hidden beneath waves of hair, and the dim bar lighting made it difficult to make out her features.
After a few moments of admiring glances, the conversation returned to its usual flow—until a table of rowdy men called out loudly, catcalling and beckoning the woman over. As she walked closer, the team finally got a good look at her face, and all their eyes widened in shock. 
It was you.
Spencer’s heart dropped to his stomach, but he didn’t even have a chance to process what was happening before Derek nudged him sharply. He pointed in your direction, where you were now leaning over the table of men, the dress dangerously low-cut, and your cleavage all too exposed. For a moment, the sight of you, dressed so provocatively and surrounded by a group of ogling strangers, felt like a punch to his chest.
Without thinking, and fueled by the anger and confusion that came crashing over him like a wave, Spencer stood abruptly. He didn’t care about the table’s booing or the way the men protested as he stormed over. All he could think about was getting you away from them. He grabbed your arm and yanked you back, his grip firm, his eyes blazing. 
"Come with me," he demanded, his voice low and tight with emotions he didn’t know how to name.
You laughed as Spencer dragged you outside the bar, letting the breeze hit your face, the night air cool against your flushed cheeks. But as the realization of who was gripping your arm sunk in, the smile fell away. 
“Spencer! What the hell! Let me go!” you snapped, pulling your arm away and shaking him off with all the force you could muster.
“What do you think you’re doing?” he spat, his voice filled with anger and... something else you couldn’t quite place—hurt, maybe?
You only laughed bitterly in response, the sound sharp and humorless. “Oh, you mean besides getting dragged around by a liar? What are you doing?” You met his gaze defiantly, your words dripping with contempt.
Spencer’s eyes narrowed as he searched your face, noticing for the first time the redness in your eyes, the slight glaze that wasn't quite right. “Are you... Are you high?” His tone was almost disbelieving, as if he couldn't fathom what he was seeing.
You nodded exaggeratedly, barely stifling another giggle. “As a kite.”
His anger flared again, and he practically yelled, “Are you kidding me? You hate drugs! You hate everything to do with them, and now you’re... using?”
“It’s just weed, Spencer!” you shot back, your voice loud and edged with frustration. “Sorry if I needed to relax! I’ve had a lot on my mind, okay?” 
Spencer paused for a moment, clearly wrestling with how to respond, his eyes flickering between you and the ground. He opened his mouth to say something, but you beat him to it, your words spilling out with no filter, no restraint.
“What were you going to do with that dose, huh?” you challenged, your voice shaking. “Were you going to kill me, just like my daddy?”
The words hung in the air like a slap, and Spencer’s face paled, the color draining away as if you’d punched him. “Y/N, no. God, no—I... I don’t know...” He sighed, running a shaky hand through his hair as he struggled to find the right words. “I guess... I kept it around in case.”
“In case what?” you pressed, eyes narrowing, your anger boiling over. 
“In case I... wanted to...” He shook his head in frustration, unable to even finish the thought. “I don’t know! It’s stupid, but I just—”
“Fuck, Spencer,” you said, disgust heavy in your voice. “How could you?”
“I haven’t touched it in years!” he protested desperately, his voice cracking with the weight of his plea. “I’m clean, Y/N. I wanted to tell you, I really did, but you wouldn’t let me explain! I’m not like your dad—I’m not.”
The comparison made something inside you snap, and before you knew what you were doing, you were leaning in close, your eyes boring into his as you hissed, “Once a junkie, always a junkie.” 
Spencer stood there, stunned, your words slicing through him like shards of glass. The hostility radiating off you was something he had never witnessed before, and it hurt—hurt in a way that made it hard to breathe, to think, to respond.
“You don’t mean that,” he said, voice shaking. He wanted to believe you didn’t mean it. That this was just the high talking, the anger, the frustration. “Y/N, please. You know I’m not like—”
But you cut him off with a bitter laugh, shaking your head. “No, Spencer, you are. You kept that shit around like some kind of lifeline, like a fucking safety net. How am I supposed to trust you? How am I supposed to believe anything you say when you’re hiding something like that?”
He could see the pain and betrayal in your eyes, and it tore him apart. Spencer felt the weight of your words settle in his chest, heavy like a stone. He reached out to touch your arm, trying to ground you both, but you yanked away, the motion sharp and final.
"Y/N, please, I know it looks bad. I know it seems like I’m keeping something from you, but I swear to you I’ve been clean for years. I swear that it was never about you, it was just—" Spencer’s voice cracked, struggling to find the right words. “It was a part of my past I was ashamed of. I didn't know how to tell you without losing you.”
Your eyes flashed with a mixture of hurt and anger. “And now you have.” Your voice was low, trembling with barely contained rage. “You know, I wanted to be there for you. I wanted to help you through whatever you were struggling with. But you didn’t let me, Spencer. You made a choice to keep me in the dark. And now I’m supposed to what? Trust that you’ll never fall back into that?”
Spencer’s eyes were wet, brimming with desperation. “I would never do that to you. I swear, I would never—”
“I don’t know if I can believe you,” you said, your voice cracking, betraying the emotions you were trying so hard to hold back. “I don't know if I can do this anymore. I can't keep looking at you and wondering when you're going to relapse or if you're hiding something else from me.”
He shook his head frantically, panic setting in as he reached for your hands. “Please don’t do this. Please, Y/N. I love you. I know I messed up, but let me make it right. Just—”
“You can’t fix this, Spencer. I don't think you can," you whispered, and you pulled away, turning from him. Your body felt heavy, like it was weighed down by all the anger and sorrow. And for a moment, all you could do was stand there, willing yourself not to break down in front of him.
The silence stretched on, suffocating. Finally, you took a deep breath and forced yourself to walk away, leaving Spencer standing alone in the cold night air, his heart shattered, his world upended.
He called after you, but his voice sounded far away, like it was drowned out by the noise in your head, the whirlwind of emotions that wouldn’t let up.
You stopped in your tracks, feeling the urge to get the last word in, knowing the wound it would leave. Slowly, you turned around, and your voice was ice-cold as you spoke. “Oh, and Spencer?”
He looked up, a glimmer of hope flashing in his eyes, desperate and raw. 
“For the record,” you said, the words burning on your tongue, “if you had just been honest about your past... I would've understood. I wouldn’t have judged you. No matter what happened, no matter how bad it was—I would've accepted you. I would've even helped you get rid of the box.” 
You watched as the hope drained from his face, the realization settling in. Then, without another word, you turned your back on him and left for good, leaving Spencer to stare after you, alone and devastated.
Your words cut through the air like a knife, leaving Spencer staring after you, the hope in his eyes collapsing into devastation. He felt like the ground beneath him had opened up and swallowed him whole, and no matter how hard he tried, he couldn’t move, couldn’t reach out, couldn’t make this right. 
As you walked away, the finality of your steps echoed louder than anything he’d ever heard before. Spencer’s heart felt like it had been ripped out of his chest, and he couldn’t help but replay your words over and over: If you had just told me...
And just like that, the what-ifs became deafening. What if he’d been honest with you from the start? What if he’d trusted you with his pain, his struggle, his history? What if he hadn’t let fear dictate his actions? 
Spencer ran a trembling hand through his hair, his chest heaving with silent sobs as you disappeared from view, the night swallowing you whole. And with each step you took, he knew it was one step further from ever getting back what he’d lost. 
You had been willing to stay, to support him, to love him even at his lowest—if only he had given you the chance. 
But he didn’t. And now, the person he loved more than anything in the world was gone. All he could do was stand there, his hands trembling, his heart breaking, whispering into the empty night.
“I’m sorry... I'm so sorry, Red.” 
But it was too late.
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earthchica · 2 months ago
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Right My Wrongs | 4
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terry richmond x black fem! reader
summary: A year and a half later, the family dynamics have significantly improved, and you and Terry have experienced much growth. The three of you go on a fun camping trip.
warning: fluff, camping trip, stargazing, slight angst, light explicit smut (18+), fingering, pussy play, dirty talking, breeding kink & etc.
note: the last part is here, and this is a long one; thank you all for your love for this mini-series. <3
series masterlist
You can't help but smile as you watch Terry and Jasmine singing together in the kitchen while preparing breakfast.
This has become a delightful routine over the past year. Terry often comes over and cooks for the two of you.
Whether it's breakfast or dinner, he did it, and also, sometimes, he'll help you around the house or run errands.
The family dynamics have improved significantly and have experienced much growth, especially in Terry.
He has always been a great father to Jasmine; there was no doubting that.
It was just nice to have him leading and guiding equally in the household.
Now that you two have been in a romantic relationship for almost a year and a half, he has shown you a different side of him.
After some time, you decided to ask Terry to live with you and Jasmine.
“Good morning, my loves,” you said, walking into the kitchen with a big smile.
Terry turned around, his eyes lighting up.
“Good morning, baby,” He greeted you with a kiss on the lips and a warm hug.
"Morning, Mommy," Jasmine said, smiling happily before looking between her parents.
She was so happy to finally see you two together.
"We made you pancakes," he proudly announced, gesturing toward the stack of butter-up pancakes.
Jasmine grinned and nodded enthusiastically, adding, "And I helped with the bacon and eggs, Mommy!"
Her excitement was infectious, and you couldn't help but feel a swell of pride at how much she had grown.
"Thank you, sweetheart. You did a good job; both of you did. It looks delicious," you replied, cupping her cheek affectionately.
As you all sat down at the table, the room filled with the warm aroma of freshly cooked pancakes, crispy bacon, and salt and pepper cheese eggs.
Conversation flowed easily, filled with laughter, and shared stories from the week.
Moments like these reminded you how glad you and Terry worked out and the strength and love that bound your little family together.
After breakfast, Jasmine dashed off to prepare for the day, leaving you and Terry in the kitchen.
He reached across the table, taking your hand in his. "I was thinking," he began, his deep voice gentle yet filled with excitement.
"Maybe we could go on a camping trip...just the three of us...I know how you feel about the outdoors, but I think it would be fun."
"You're right; you know me, baby! Sister can't deal with the bugs and heat," you said playfully.
"But that sounds great, Terry," you replied, squeezing his hand. Terry smiled, his eyes twinkling with anticipation.
"So you wanna go? We can go this weekend, and I know the perfect spot for us to camp at."
"Okay, do you think Jazzy will be excited?" you asked, thinking about how much Jasmine loved exploring new things.
"Hell yeah," Terry chuckled.
"She's been talking about wanting to see the stars and learning how to fish for the longest."
You nodded with a smile, “Okay, let’s go this weekend.” Terry smiled.
-
It was the weekend of the camping trip, and Terry packed the car with a large tent, sleeping bags, camping gear, and plenty of snacks and water for the road.
"Are you excited, sweetie?" you asked, with a smile. Jasmine was already buzzing with excitement, her eyes wide with wonder.
"Yes, mommy. Let's go!!!!!!!" She said, clutching her favorite stuffed animal, ready for the journey ahead.
After a few hours of driving, you arrived at the campsite. Terry expertly navigated the car to a secluded spot by a tranquil lake.
The water shimmered under the afternoon sun so beautifully, inviting and calm.
Jazzy was the first to leap out, her laughter echoing as she ran to the lake's edge.
"Jasmine, girlllll" You jumped out of the car and called her name, holding a bottle of nontoxic bug spray in your hand, before following her.
Terry chuckled, began getting the stuff out of the car, and set up the tent.
Jasmine assisted you in gathering sticks for a campfire. Her determination was so precious that you couldn't help but smile.
The sun dipped below the horizon, painting the sky in hues of orange and pink; you all gathered around the crackling fire.
Jasmine's eyes sparkled with joy as Terry began to tell a story about constellations, pointing out the stars overhead.
“You know....the Big Dipper was the drinking gourd in the South. The two stars at the end of the Big Dipper point to Polaris, the North Star.” He explained.
"That’s cool! Did you hear that, Mommy?" She asked, glancing at you, and you nodded in response.
“I certainly did, sweetie,” you replied with a smile.
Jasmine nodded, returning her focus to her daddy, and after that story, you all enjoyed some delicious s'mores.
The crackling of the fire provided a comforting sound to the night, while the stars above twinkled like a million tiny lanterns, gently lighting the gathering.
Jasmine's eyelids began to droop, and she snuggled closer to you, her head resting gently on your shoulder.
You could feel her little body's warmth and hear her breathing's soft rhythm—a melody more precious than any symphony.
"Time for bed, I think," you whispered, brushing a twisted braid from her forehead.
"Yeah." She nodded sleepily, slowly getting up and giving Terry a goodnight hug.
It looked like she whispered something in his ear before moving towards you.
You entered the tent together, dressed Jasmine in her pajamas, and tucked her into her sleeping bag.
You kissed her goodnight as she murmured, "I love you, Mommy," her voice barely above a whisper.
”I love you too, sweetie," you replied before walking out of the tent to catch Terry slowly throwing flower petals on the ground.
Your gaze shifted to the small table, where a bouquet of your favorite flowers, two glasses filled with wine, and chocolate candies were placed.
Also, romantic music was playing from his Bluetooth speaker. You had no idea Terry was up, but you liked it.
"What are you doing?" You asked with a small smile.
Terry turns to you in surprise. "Shit, you came out faster than I expected." He chuckles.
"Uh...I wanted to do something special for ya," he says, handing you the glass of wine from the table, which you gladly took from him.
You both cuddled on the wide wooden chair, enjoying the wine and the music until your favorite song came on.
Terry got up and held his hand out. “Come on, baby girl, show me those dancing moves,” he said, smiling playfully.
You smiled in return and took his hand; you both swayed to the rhythm, sharing laughter while also being slightly quiet.
“This is how you dance, mama. That's all you need,” he said, demonstrating two steps that made you yawn.
You respond, "No, this is how you do it," you say as you sway your body, performing body rolls and shaking your hips.
“You right, let those hips shine! Hips don't lie, huh?” he chuckles in reply, drawing you closer as the song shifts to a slow tune.
The world around you seemed to fade away, leaving just the two of you wrapped in the moment's magic.
The moon cast a silvery glow over the campsite, its light dancing on the leaves and painting intricate patterns on the ground.
“You know I love you, right?” He asked so softly, and you nodded.
“Yeah...I know you do, and I love you too.”
“And you know you are the best thing that’s ever happened to me, right? You bring me so much love and happiness; you've been there for me through thick and thin and given me so much at times...I didn't deserve it, but you still gave. I'm so grateful to have you; I thank God every day for sending such an extraordinary woman like you; you are an amazing mother and an amazing girlfriend, and I can't live without you,” He said so passionately.
You nodded, getting a little emotional. “I know, baby, I know. Where are you going with this, Terry?”
“I love you, girl, and I wanna spend the rest of my life with you, and it’s only right if we...make this shit official,” he said, getting down on one knee.
You stood there, hand covering your mouth in disbelief, as you watched your dream unfold before your eyes and become a reality.
"Will you marry me, baby, and become Mrs. Richmond?" Tears welled up in your eyes, a mix of surprise and overwhelming joy.
The sincerity and love in Terry's eyes were undeniable, and the world seemed to hold its breath, waiting for your response.
You took a deep breath, your heart swelling with happiness, and nodded fervently.
"Yes, a thousand times yes!" you exclaimed, your voice filled with emotion.
Terry smiled and slid the ring onto your finger before pulling you in for a kiss and then into a warm embrace.
“Yay, you did it, Daddy,” she exclaimed. Startled, you turned to see her with her camera out, taking pictures.
"What? Did you two plan this?" you asked in shock. They both laughed, exchanging a knowing glance.
"Well," Terry admitted with a playful shrug, "Jasmine and I might have had a secret mission. We wanted this moment to be perfect for you."
Jasmine giggled and ran over to hug you. "I helped pick the ring, Mommy! Daddy said you would love it."
You gazed down at the beautiful ring on your finger, its sparkle almost as bright as the love you felt in your heart.
"It is perfect, sweetie. You did a good job" you whispered, pulling her into a tight embrace.
The night continued with celebrating this new chapter together. The next morning, the three of you had breakfast, went hiking, and returned to the campsite.
The serene lake glistens under the afternoon sun as you, Terry, and Jasmine are excited to reel in some big catches.
“Alright, princess. Hold it like this, then swing it into the water like this,” he instructed, guiding her hands. 
Jasmine looked a bit anxious. ”I don’t know if I can do it, Daddy.”
“You can do it, Jazzy. I know you can; I’ll be here if anything goes wrong,” he reassured her. 
"Okay," she says. With a determined look, she casts the line. It sailed through the air, landing gently on the lake's shimmering surface.
“Let's go!!!!!,” Terry said, proudly clapping, and she smiled in delight. 
The sun warmed their backs as they waited, and the gentle lapping of the water against the shore created a soothing sound.
After a while, the line tugged slightly, and Jasmine's eyes widened with excitement.
"I think I've got something!" she exclaimed, her voice a mix of surprise and joy.
Terry moved closer, offering guidance while still allowing her the thrill of the catch.
Slowly, with careful encouragement from Terry and you, she reeled in her first fish—a small salmon fish. 
Her face lit up with pride as you pulled out your phone to take a quick picture of her catch.
“Good Job, sweetie!" you cheered, high-fiving her.
The rest of the camping trip was unforgettable and filled with love, laughter, and the simple joys of being together.
When you returned home from your camping trip, you and Terry immediately announced your engagement to your family and friends.
They are all very happy for both of you, especially your mom. Your parents offered to pay for the entire wedding for you and Terry.
So, a month later, you found yourself dealing with some stress while planning this damn wedding.
Your mom mostly handled all the arrangements, and you just agreed to everything to keep her happy, forgetting it was your wedding.
You did stood your ground with her, about choosing the wedding dress of your dreams.
You smiled happily at yourself in the mirror. This had been the sixth wedding dress you had tried on, and you think this was one.
"Oh my God, this is the one," you said, coming out of the dressing room with tears streaming down your face.
Your mom, your sister, and Jasmine cheered and screamed joyfully before rushing to you and pulling you into a group hug.
"She said yes to the dress!" Your mom blurted out loud in the boutique.
You chuckled and then returned to the dressing room to change your clothes.
Once you were dressed, you came out of the dressing room holding the dress you wanted.
Three of you continued to shop, and you felt your phone vibrate; it was an incoming call from Terry.
A little surprised that he was calling, considering he was with his cousin Mike (he's still alive) and a few of his friends.
You were happy to see his name light up on your screen; he probably missed you.
"Hey, darling," you said sweetly as you approached a secluded area to talk to him.
There was no response, only rustling and faint voices in the background.
"Terry, are you there?" you asked, still waiting for a response, but hearing nothing.
You were about to press the hang-up button when you heard Terry's voice.
"All she does is talk about this damn wedding and has become a fucking bridezilla all because of her mom; like, everything has to be big, over the top, and fancy. It's getting fucking annoying, man"
Your heart sank momentarily as you realized you may have been a bit of a bridezilla, influenced by your mom.
You wonder why Terry couldn't just tell you that, not to his fucking boys.
"So, big dawg, do you still wanna marry her?! Cause if I was you, I wouldn't put up with this bullshit," his friend spoke, you knew who exactly said that.
"Of course I do, but if it continues like this, I don't know," Terry sounded unsure of his answer.
Mike said, "Chill, cuz you're not about to call the wedding off; you love that girl. Just talk to her."
You pressed the hang-up button before they continued their conversation.
Your heart was in your stomach, and you struggled to pull yourself together, unsure if you wanted the dress.
You made an excuse about getting Jasmine home, and the owner of the bridal boutique was nice enough to hold everything for you.
Once you arrived home, you made lunch for yourself and Jasmine, and then the two of you watched a movie together.
About an hour later, you heard the front door open. He walked into the living room and greeted Jasmine with a hug.
"Jazzy, go play in your room. Your dad and I need to talk," you said, looking at her.
"Okay, Mommy," she nodded with a sigh and went upstairs.
"Hey, baby, what's wrong?!" He asked, making his way towards you and going for a kiss, but you tilted your head away from him.
Terry gave you a confused look as his brows furrowed, watching you carefully.
"Baby, are you okay? Did something happen?" He asked, taking off his jacket and throwing it onto the other couch before sitting next to you.
You tried your best to contain yourself but couldn't; you had to express your frustration.
"No, I'm not okay, Terry. You butt-dailed me and I heard everything you said to your cousin and friends. So, do you want this back?" You asked, sliding the engagement ring off of your finger.
Terry clenched his jaw and bowed his head down briefly; the guilt swept through his expression.
"No, I don't want the ring back."
"Oh, really, then what's going on?" you asked, raising your voice slightly.
"Lately, I've been feeling overwhelmed with this shit, and plus, baby, you've been a little of a bridezilla, you and your mom have been...." he said, trailing off on the last part.
"Okay. I understand that, and I'm sorry for my behavior, but you could've told me that, not to your fucking boys. Terry, I love you. We have a daughter, and I want to be your wife. I just need to know before anything goes far. Are you ready to get married?"
"Of course, I am ready, baby! I'm sorry. I should have told ya how I was feeling, but you and your mom kind of made it hard to communicate."
"So it's our fault?" You asked, getting a little defensive, crossing your arms in front of your chest.
"No, kind of, maybe! Look, I don't want to fight, I just think we don't need a big, over-the-top wedding to express our love; a small one with family and a few friends wouldn't hurt, don't you think? Shit...it can be it's just you, me, and Jasmine for all I care," He said honestly.
You took a deep breath. "I'm sorry, Terry, for making you feel like you couldn't tell me how you felt. I never meant to do that, baby. Plus, you are right. If I was being honest, I was doing it all for my mom 'cause she's paying for the wedding," you said, caressing his face.
"I know, baby. She's gotta understand this is our wedding, not hers. She's married already; maybe you should talk to her," he said softly.
"Yeah, I'm going to talk with her tomorrow," you said with a slight smile.
"So, we good?" he asked with a returning smile, and you nodded, moving to sit on his lap.
"Yeah, we're good, big daddy," you said teasingly, kissing his lips before going to his neck.
"Don't start something you know you can't finish, baby girl." He warned playfully.
With a mischievous giggle, you uttered, "I can finish you in my mouth," you joked, pulling him into another kiss.
The next day, you chatted with your mom, who completely understood that she had overstepped some boundaries.
After three months of re-planning, the day of your and Terry's small, intimate wedding arrived quickly.
You stood in front of the mirror and couldn't help but admire how your wedding dress highlighted your curves.
There was a knock at the door of the bedroom. Jasmine entered wearing a light pink floral dress and a flower crown in her natural hair.
Your dad followed, wearing a grey tuxedo with a light pink rose boutonniere.
You turned around with a huge smile on your face. Jasmine was the first to hug you, followed by your dad.
With a warm smile, she exclaimed, "Mommy, you look so incredibly beautiful."
"Thank you, sweetie. You look so adorable, my little flower girl," you said, swirling her around, which made her giggle.
You glanced at your dad and saw the emotions playing across his face.
"My firstborn has grown up. You look beautiful, sweet pea," your dad says with a proud smile, tears coming down his face.
"Thanks, Dad," you said, tears welling in your eyes. You hesitated to wipe them, not wanting to ruin your makeup.
"Here, Mommy," Jasmine said, handing you a tissue. You thanked her, and then there was another knock on the door.
Your wedding planner came to tell you it was time as she escorted Jasmine, and you gave her a kiss on the cheek as she departed.
"Ready, sweet pea?" your dad asks, holding his arm out. You nod with a smile and take hold of his arm.
The pianist began to play, and everyone stood up, gazing down the line toward you.
You and your dad stepped onto the sand where the flower petals led to the altar.
You took a deep breath and looked at your dad, who had his arm locked to yours.
He smiled and squeezed your arm, and then the two of you began walking down the aisle.
You attempted to pacify your emotions, but to no avail; when your gaze met Terry's, the harsh reality struck you like a ton of bricks.
You were about to marry the love of your life, the father of your child. You had been waiting for this moment your entire life.
Terry looked handsome in his cream tuxedo, smiling from ear to ear and rolling happy tears down his face.
"Dad, you'll catch me up if I bust my ass, right?" You whispered, which made him chuckle, and he gripped your arm tighter.
"Of course, sweet pea," he asked, "feeling nervous?" as you continued down the aisle.
"Nervous and excited," you whispered with a slight smile, and he nodded as you two finally reached the altar.
You step forward, and Terry clears his throat and wipes his eyes. Your dad kisses you on the forehead before placing your hand into Terry’s.
"You look incredible, baby," he murmurs, gently kissing your hand.
You smile as you caress his cheek and whisper, "So do you, handsome man."
The officiant began speaking and swiftly moved through the ceremony, getting to the "I dos" and vows, and finally, you two heard the words.
"I now pronounce you husband and wife. You may kiss the bride!" The officiant says with a smile.
Terry pulls you close, his hand wrapping around your waist, as he tenderly cups your cheek and softly presses his lips against yours.
The crowd erupted in cheers and applause as both of you basked in the moment.
However, you couldn't help but break away from each other, your faces beaming with the unmistakable joy of being deeply in love.
Excitedly, you and Terry turned towards your friends and family; Jasmine rushed up to join you.
Terry picked her up, and together, hand in hand, you all walked down the aisle as husband and wife and as a family.
Right after the lovely reception, you and Terry headed to your honeymoon suite for the night.
When you entered the room, you couldn't resist each other. You unbuttoned his shirt while he unzipped your dress, and you jumped out.
You kissed him as your hands went to unbutton his pants, and pushed them down.
Terry kicked them off before admiring the lingerie you were wearing.
He smirked and suddenly ripped your bra off from the back, making your plump breasts plop out, which you squeal in excitement.
"So fucking sexy!" Terry whispers as he picks you up, gently lays you on the bed, and begins leaving kisses on you.
His kisses always made you feel good and turned on. His hands lightly caress your waist up and down.
Terry was so slow and gentle with his motion; He stopped to stare at your breasts, licking his lips at the sight.
He takes both hands and squeezes your breasts roughly, causing a squeak to escape your throat.
"Fucking love your tits, baby," Terry says, beginning to suck at them, causing a moan to ripple through your throat.
He flicked his tongue on your nipple before leaning up and kissed your lips tenderly,
His lips caused a shiver to go up your spine. Terry pulls away and takes the rest of your lingerie off as well as his boxers.
You two love admiring each other's bodies like it was the first time seeing them.
His skin glowed beautifully in the light that you saw him in, his muscular body was sculpted amazingly, and his dick was lengthy and wide.
Terry noticed that you were checking him out, and a smug smile appeared on his face.
Curious, His eyes sparkled as he asked, "Like what you see?"
You responded with a nod and a wide grin, replying, "Always...daddy."
Terry began kissing your belly to the inner corner of your thigh; he stopped and became extremely gentle, lightly running his fingers up your wet folds.
You moaned, feeling a shiver go up your spine as he circled and rubbed at your pussy.
"I love the beautiful sounds you make, baby," He says, slipping a few fingers inside you.
You gasp loudly, feeling the great sensation of his fingers thrusting in and out of you fast.
"Terry, please," you moaned as he picked up the pace, feeling your center warm up and become soaked with juices.
This caused him to stop, pulling his hand away from your warmth.
You whined softly afterward, looking down at him with half-lidded eyes.
Terry's eyes were darker than before. "You need daddy's dick, don't you?"
"Yes!" You nod, and he climbs on top of you and rubs the tip against your wet folds, causing you to whine impatiently.
He leans down to your ear. "How much do you need it?"
Terry posed another question, and you responded with a desperate whine.
"So much, Daddy, please fuck me!" You begged, trying to get some friction, which made him grin seductively.
"I'mma give you what you want, baby girl," He says deeply before thrusting his entire length into you.
You gasped loudly, making your back arch up, and he pulled you in a kiss.
"Fuck, you were perfectly made for me, baby," Terry says, pulling out and thrusting back into you.
This action makes you cry, gripping Terry's biceps while he grips your wide hips, beginning to thrust in and out of you at a slow pace.
"Faster, Daddy," You gazed up at me, biting your lip with a mix of desire and love.
"Like this?" He asked, beginning to pick up the pace, gripping your hips a bit tighter.
"Fuckfuckfuck, yes" You cried with a nod. Terry began to watch your breasts bounce up and down with each thrust, loving the movement.
You placed your hands on his chest, letting out loud moans as he began to thrust deeper, feeling his dick hit your sweet pot.
"Fuck! Fuck me, Terry, ahh fucking put a baby in, Daddy," you cried, which made him smirk.
"You wanna another baby, 'cause I'll fucking give it to ya," He asked, locking your feet over his ass and pounding into you faster and deeper.
"Yes, please fuck me, yes," You cried in his ear, whipped your head, and gripped his back for dear life at this position.
Terry grunted at your answer, seeing in his eyes picturing you, months from now, belly round and tits swollen, pregnant with your second baby.
"You sure you want me to fill you up? Fuck a baby into you? Let everyone see how I put another baby in you, pretty momma?" he asked for reassurance.
“Yes, please fuck! I want it; I wanna another baby,” You begged, digging your fingers into his broad shoulders.
You loved his heavy moans and the wet gust sound of your pussy and his dick slapping against each other repeatedly.
"Please!" You said, clenching around him.
Terry moaned and loved the way your pussy sucked him in with its warmth and wetness, ready to milk him for that second baby.
“Fuck, you really wanted huh? Fucking clenching that dick, milking it. I'll fill you up and put a baby in, shit fucking around, fill you up for days on this honeymoon and just to get you pregnant.”
He spread your legs a little bit wider to go much deeper, and with each thrust, the whole bed started making a squeaking sound.
"Ahh, yes fuck Daddy, that's what I want. Fuck, you feel so good, so fucking deep, ahh."
You moaned, feeling yourself getting closer to the edge. You couldn't hold back.
"Oh my god, I'm gonna cum-fuckfuckfuck," You cried, feeling your eyes roll in the back of your head as you came hard.
'That's it, baby girl. Fuck...daddy's right behind fuck ya...." He says, keeps thrusting deep inside of you.
"Fuck here it comes," He grunted as his whole body jerked as hot cum spurted inside of you.
You both stayed in that embrace, catching your breath and coming down from the amazing high.
Terry made sure every drop of his cum was inside of you before pulling out.
He flipped his back on the bed and wrapped his arms around you.
"You think we did it? You think there's a baby in there?" he asked, gently stroking your belly, causing you to giggle.
"We'll just have to wait and see; if not, we can keep trying," you replied, gazing up at him before tenderly kissing his lips.
The soft glow of the moonlight streamed through the curtains as you both lay there, envisioning the possibilities that awaited you.
The room enveloped you in a soothing silence, broken only by the gentle cadence of your breaths.
"I love you, baby, so much" he murmured, his voice brimming with love.
"I love you too, Terry," you whispered back, feeling a warmth spread through your heart.
The night seemed to wrap around you, a cocoon of dreams and whispered hopes.
You both knew that whatever the future held, you would face it together, hand in hand, hearts entwined.
Sleep began to pull you under, and you smiled, knowing that this was just the beginning of your forever ever after.
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buckysgrace · 3 months ago
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Sleepless Nights
Steve Harrington X Fem!Reader
Flufftober 2024
Steve and you celebrate your first Halloween with your baby.
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The air was crisp and cool, chilly as you struggled to get the door shut as the gust of wind slammed in behind you once again. Discarded leaves danced inside, adding to the pile at your doormat. 
Inside was warmer, the heat already on and comforting as the warm glow of the lights kicked on. It was only about four, but the sun was already dipping below the trees. And despite your house being older and much too large for the three of you, it was cozy. You had done a lot of touch ups over the summer, before you had to wiggle around to get off of the couch. Now, you were just too sore.
“It’s freezing out there,” Steve huffed, rubbing his hands together as he helped you carry the rest of the bags in the kitchen. He stalled at the kitchen table, peeking into the bundled form, “We might not get many trick or treaters this year.” He commented, though he sounded far away. 
“How is she?” You asked, dipping your head down to where Steve had placed the baby carrier. He grinned, tilting his head back a bit to reveal the slumbering baby for you. Full cheeks and soft lips, her hair thick like her father’s. She was the cutest little thing you had ever seen. 
Eloise Ester Harrington. Named after his grandmother and one of your favorite book characters. A fair comparison you had thought. She had been just under eight pounds and was still very, very fussy. But you still loved her all the same. 
“Out like a light,” He smiled, a proud look in his eyes, “I told you she wouldn’t do bad.” He gave you a cocky look before he turned, unbuckling the little straps of her harness before he lifted her to freedom. She pulled her knees up to her chest, eyes still tightly shut as he brought her to his chest. 
“Yeah she was fine after she puked everywhere.” You reminded him, pressing your lips into a smile as you worked on dumping the candy you’d just bought into your Halloween bowl. It was orange with dancing skeletons on it. You liked it a lot. 
“She has a sensitive tummy,” He defended playfully, gently rubbing circles into her back, “How do you feel?” He asked you, checking up on you for what had to be the third time since you’d left a little bit ago. You appreciated it. 
“Fantastic,” You teased as you unwrapped a lollipop and placed it into your mouth, “Really, I’m fine. I liked getting out of the house.” You admitted, enjoying the fresh air even if it had felt like your fingers had grown frozen. 
“Do you still want to dress up?” He asked you curiously, tilting his head as he rocked the newborn back and forth in his arms. She stretched her little arms out, yawning before she dropped her face against his chest once again. 
“Absolutely,” You told him seriously, “We’re supposed to match, I’m not gonna be left out.” You reminded him quickly, knowing that you would have fun with him. The previous years you’d dressed up and gone to some silly party, but this year it was just going to be the two of you. Well, now three. 
“We’d never leave you out,” He teased, giving you a little kiss on the cheek, “I can make dinner.” He suggested, as if he hadn’t been doing that for the past few months. You often felt guilty for him working and spending so much time taking care of you and Eloises. 
“I think we should order pizza,” You suggested instead, wanting him to have a little break, “We can get dressed and then get the movie set up, how does that sound?” You suggested, giving his hip a little squeeze as you walked with him up towards the room. 
“Good,” He nodded his head, “Can we watch mine first?” He asked you, gently balancing Eloise against his side as he pulled the closet open. 
“Gremlins?” You questioned, biting back a grin at the sheepish look he sent you, “Then we’re watching The Evil Dead.” You told him seriously, desperately needing to watch your favorite movie. 
“I don’t mind it,” He defended himself quickly, “I just like the little mice things more.” He shrugged his shoulders as you furrowed your eyebrows, trying to determine if you would classify the Gremlins as rodents. Perhaps. 
You both had decided on something easy, something loose so you didn’t have to wear anything too constricting. You both bore overalls, similar long sleeved button up shirts and cowboy hats to be farmers. Eloise was your little piggy, her little onesie pink and tight against her tummy that was full of milk. 
Steve was the first one at the door, happily passing out rounds and rounds of candy as he showed you and Eloise off the whole time. You couldn’t help but smile, excited that he thought so highly of you. 
Some time later you had decided to leave the rest of the candy outside, fearing that the wind might be too chill for little Eloise. You felt safe with your worries with Steve, especially since you were both new time parents. Perhaps a little more paranoid than you needed to be. 
“Hello,” Robin grinned, her smile tight as she entered the house, “Steve said I didn’t need to knock.” She replied awkwardly, arms placed down to her sides as she stared at you. 
“You don’t,” You reassured her, “There’s leftover pizza if you want some.” You offered, turning your attention fully towards her and away from the TV. You pointed towards the kitchen, not wanting her to feel so stiff and nervous. 
“Awesome,” She nodded as she placed her hands in her pockets, staring at where you had Eloise resting against your chest, “But can I hold her first?” She asked hopefully, her blue eyes twinkling as she glanced down at the baby in your arms. 
“Only because you asked so nicely,” Steve smirked, moving his hand away from where he had been resting his cheek against his knuckles, “She’s pretty cool, isn’t she?” He commented, watching the gentle way you passed Eloise to her. 
“Wow,” Robin commented, brushing her fingers gently against the top of Eloise’s hair, “Who knew you could make something so cute, Harrington?” She grinned as she nudged you with her elbow, making you shake your head. 
“Ha, so funny,” He scoffed in return, “It’s almost like you’ve said that already.” He responded dryly, rolling his pretty brown eyes as you found yourself watching in admiration. You thought that your baby had the perfect mixture of him. And that he was very handsome. Pretty. 
“Four times,” She whispered to you, “Hey, Eloise and Steve can learn to count together.” She continued to mock him, looking excited as she brushed her finger across Eloise’s nose. He huffed, placing his hands on his knees before he forced himself up from his spot. 
“Your baby privileges are banned,” Steve replied, shaking his head as he scooped the newborn back up, “You can have her back when you learn to be nice.” He told her with a nod of his head as she gaped in surprise. 
“That’s not fair.” She pouted as she looked at you, but you only shrugged your shoulders. He didn’t want any negative talk around the baby. 
“He’s a bit of a baby hog,” You admitted, grinning at the way Eloise rested easily against his chest, “But he’s helpful. He gets up every single time she cries.” You explained, smiling softly as you watched him. He had been more than helpful, before labor, during and after. 
“I try to be,” He cocked his eyebrows at Robin, seemingly showing off as he rested Eloise across his chest, “She’s a good baby.” He added, pretending to pet your baby’s back. 
“I wouldn’t know.” She grumbled, dramatically crossing her arms over her chest as she glared at him. 
“You’ve seen her plenty of times,” He rolled his eyes dramatically, “Was there still candy out there?” He asked a second later, glancing towards her curiously. She furrowed her eyebrows together. 
“What candy?” She asked you both seriously, her knees bumping against your thigh as she faced the two of you better. 
“In the candy bowl,” You explained, “It got too cold for us to sit out there any longer.” You told her, glancing back over your shoulder to ensure that you had kept the outside light on. 
“Sorry to tell you,” She said slowly, “But there was no candy bowl out there.” She held her palms up to the air, shrugging as she broke the news. You gaped, understanding that the kids might want the candy but could they not leave the bowl behind?
“Someone ran off with our candy bowl?” Steve grumbled, “Crotch goblins.”’ He shook his head, playing with Eloise’s thick hair. 
“Dad of the year.” Robin teased, grinning at the way he rolled his eyes once again. You laughed at their relationship, not quite understanding how they were always so mean but loving towards one another. 
You and Robin chatted about how her work was going and about her struggling relationship as you fed Eloise. You were still trying to get used to breastfeeding, feeling a little embarrassed as you kept yourself closely covered. 
“Can you get a picture of us?” Steve asked suddenly as he returned from the kitchen, a can of Coke in one hand as he passed the camera to Robin without waiting for her response. 
“Can I hold the baby again?” She asked quickly, eyebrows raised as she linked her fingers together over her stomach. He placed a hand on his waist. 
“Do you remember her name?” He asked seriously, making you press your lips into a smile. Eloise popped her eyes open slowly, glancing around as you wiped drool from the corner of her lips. 
“Her name should’ve been Robin, but yes. I do.” She agreed, making you laugh softly. She had been suggesting that ever since you and Steve had found out you were having a girl. 
“Why would I name my baby after you?” He scoffed playfully, gripping her hand and forcing her out of the chair. He plopped down where she had been sitting. 
“Why would you name her after your grandma?” She asked in return, making him pause for a second as he thought over his answer 
“Fair,” He nodded in agreement, smiling as invited you closer to him, “C’mere, baby.” He smiled, brushing his nose against your cheek as Robin got the camera set up. 
You wiggled your way underneath his arm, resting your head against his as he gently held Eloise up. You smiled as you squeezed onto his waist, your heart fluttering as you listened to the soft rumble of Steve’s voice.
“Happy Halloween!” He exclaimed to know one in particular, but caught your attention as you glanced at his full smile and relaxed expression. You could get used to this.
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butlervibesonly · 2 months ago
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𝑈𝑛𝑠𝑐𝑟𝑖𝑝𝑡𝑒𝑑 𝑙𝑜𝑣𝑒 || Austin Butler
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• Summary : Austin and you have been close friends since you were teenagers. However, you have never worked together as actors, and certainly not in a movie where you are a couple.
• Pairing : Austin Butler x Priscilla actress! reader
• Warnings : first kiss, confessing love, overall fluff
• Note : I hope this is not overrated, but I just had to write Austin x actress reader and especially one where you (reader) are playing Priscilla and him being Elvis 😩
You and Austin have known each other for many years. You've been friends since you were teenagers, but never in your wildest dreams would you two have imagined playing Elvis and Priscilla together.
But there it is, and here you are. On the set of Elvis. You and Austin. From the first moments when you started working on the film and started spending more time together, you couldn't help it but catch feelings for him.
But you were afraid that Austin didn't have it that way. Or maybe he has? Probably not. You were just in backstage watching Austin give a breathtaking performance as Elvis. It was almost impossible how flawlessly he could imitate him. The voice, the singing, the look... The hair....
"Y/n...? Earth is calling Y/n." you heard a familiar voice in your thoughts. And in fact, that voice brought you back to reality. Looking up slightly you saw Tom Hanks in his Colonel Parker costume. "Oh, Tom! Hi-" you said as soon as you were brought back.
"Hello there. I see you're amazed just as I am." he said, sitting beside you. "Yeah," you smiled. "He's really incredible. He sounds exactly like him." you complimented your colleague, and heard Baz yell 'Cut!'.
"Right... What's up between you two, anyway?" The question almost took your breath away. You looked at Tom, frozen, taken aback. "Uhm... What do you mean?"
"Well, I can't unsee the way you two are together, you know." Tom spent a lot of time with the two of you, but is it this obvious to everyone that you're completely into him? "You like him, don't you?" he suddenly added.
"Am I that noticeable? How do you know?” you asked nervously. "Y/n, I know what two people in love look like. Maybe it's the way you two look at each other, how you treat each other." Tom was right. In past few months, you have been treating him and he was treating you with such a much more intimacy or connection.
"Yeah, well... I do like him, but I'm afraid. What if it's not both sided?" Tom straightened his position, smiling at you in such a warm way. "I wouldn't be afraid of that," he said suddenly. "If only you knew how he talks about you when you're not around, you'd be surprised."
You looked at Tom, speechless. Austin talking about you? "How?" you were so curious. "Very sweetly, Y/n. I've never seen someone speak so nicely about a woman like he does about you. And it's true what he said, by the way."
Just as soon as Tom said this you looked at Austin who was looking at you. As soon as you made eye contact, Austin smiled - just like he always does when he sees you. "Young love..." Tom added, patting your shoulder as he stood up.
"Don't worry, tell him. Trust me you won't lose anything, quite the opposite.” he winked at you and walked away as Baz decided to call it a day with filming. Austin was still discussing something with the crew, and you were heading to the costume trailer to take off your outfit.
LATER THAT NIGHT...
You kept thinking about Tom's words. Is it really what he says? Austin talks this nice about you? Thoughts were flowing through your head more than ever. You left the costume trailer. Outside was already dark as the late evening air hit you. On your way to your trailer, you suddenly bumped into Austin.
"Y/n, h-hi!" Austin said. You could say you almost blushed the moment you realized it's him. "Hey Aus," you replied, your voice kinda trembling. His eyes were bright even in the street lights, water was dripping from his wet, currently black, hair, probably fresh from the shower. There was a moment of awkward silence as you noticed that Austin was carrying some boxes.
"Oh, um.. I may or may have not accidentally ordered two boxes of Chinese food, and I thought if you don't want to join me?" Your heart started to race. This never happened to you around him, but now, after what you've been told, it's different.
"I would love to." you smiled, and Austin and you headed to his trailer. Is it normal to be this nervous around your best friend? "So how was your day?" Austin asked, placing the food on the table as you sat down. "Mhm, well, demanding? Great?" you smiled.
"So nothin' new, huh?" Austin laughed. Gosh, you love him. "Actually, I saw you were watching while I did the singing scene, how did i do?" he asked, handing you the fork for your food. "You did damn well, Aus. You sound exactly like him."
Austin looked at you with warm smile, happy about your compliment. You guys started eating the food, talking about your day, about the film and everything else possible.
The conversation has slowed down, and there’s this silence, one that’s comfortable but filled with something unspoken. You feel your heart racing a little as Austin glances over at you, his gaze soft and thoughtful.
"Um, Y/n, you know," he began. The words were slipping out of his mouth, one by one, his voice soft yet deep. "I- There is something I have to talk about. Or maybe more, I have to tell you something." Here, you heart stopped. What's going on?
"Mhm?" you murmured to break the silence. "R-right," Austin took a deep breath. "I’ve been wanting to say this for so long, but I didn’t know how. I didn’t want to risk messing this up or losing you..." Whatever he wanted to say, you didn't know whether to laugh or cry. Lose? Lose how? You feel your pulse quicken, sensing the weight in his words.
“Y/n, I’ve been in love with you since day one,” he continues, his gaze locking onto yours, vulnerable and open in a way you’ve never seen before. “Every moment with you, every smile, every little thing you do... it just made me fall deeper. I tried to keep it to myself, but being this close to you now, I can’t hide it anymore. I don’t want to hide it.”
He loves you? Did you hear that right? Did Austin, the boy you knew since you were 13, just said he loves you back? Your heart felt like it's going to jump out of your chest. He likes you, too.
In shock, you lost almost all the words that exist. You didn't know what to say, although you yourself knew very well what to answer. "Sorry if I threw it on you too quickly, I -"
"No," you breathed out in nervous laugh. "No, Austin, don't be sorry. I love you, too. I am completely in love with you more than words can explain. I feel the same, Aus.” you smiled.
After a few seconds, he reached over, tucking a stray piece of hair behind your ear, his fingertips brushing your skin gently. He let out a small, almost nervous laugh, his eyes flickering away for just a second before coming back to meet yours, more serious now.
“I’ve wanted to do this for years,” he said, his voice low. There’s a warmth in his gaze that made everything around you seem to fade. He leaned in slowly, giving you a chance to close the space between you, or to pull away if you want. But you didn’t pull away.
When Austin's lips touched yours, it was soft and tentative at first, almost as if he was savoring the moment as much as you were. But then, he deepened the kiss, his hand gently resting against your cheek as he draws you closer. The world felt like it stopped spinning, with only the warmth of his kiss and the feeling of his heart beating close to yours.
When you managed to break the kiss, he pressed his forehead against yours. Your heart was still racing, but now in much more pure way, almost as if the soft feelings grew stronger. The silence and sweet moment is broke by your phone ringing with message. "That's Tom," you say, opening the message.
Tom
He didn't order that food by mistake, but on purpose, I told him to do so. I knew I could make you date!
Both, Austin and you laughed. So actually Tom knew all along that you secretly loved each other and wanted to do everything to put you together. And well, he succeeded.
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eunsuri · 2 months ago
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The Lighthouse
Pairing: Solas x Lavellan
Summary: Lavellan explores The Lighthouse and reunites with her heart.
Word Count: 6,608
Warnings: ANGST. Lots of emotions. Lots of love. VEILGUARD SPOILERS.
A/N: Hi everyone! Happy 2 weeks until Veilguard! This has taken me way longer to write than I'd hoped, but I MADE IT! This was inspired by a beautiful piece of art by @pani-artz, I couldn't resist! I've kept Lavellan's description vague for those who would like to keep their own Lavellan in mind while reading! Also posted on AO3!
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“We’re here.”
A cold breeze swept through the crossroads, cooling Lavellan’s skin as she stepped up the stairs, Harding, and Leliana flanking her from behind. The three stood before the Eluvian, the shimmering surface glowing faintly. The ancient mirror reflected the crumbled pieces of the ruins floating within the crossroads, flickering with ancient magic and ready to draw them into another world.
Anticipation stirred in Lavellan’s stomach, her senses heightened and glaring at her warped reflection. The faint glow of the mirror’s surface cast a strange light across the stone floor through the overgrown foliage around its frame, and the chill in the air seemed to seep into her bones. 
Harding and Leliana exchanged glances behind her, but she hardly noticed, her heart thudding rapidly in her chest like a wild creature trying to escape its cage. Harding had seen this Lighthouse before, She knew what lay behind the Eluvian, all the memories hidden in Solas’ base of operations.
Lavellan knew Solas wouldn’t be waiting for her on the other side. Instead, what awaited was everything he had left behind—his memories, his isolation, the echoes of a life spent in the shadows. The thought of stepping into his world, of facing the remnants of his past and the pieces he had chosen to keep hidden, sent a wave of dread through her. She wasn’t sure she was ready for what she might see—for how deeply his loneliness would be etched into every corner of this place
He had stopped appearing in her dreams, no matter how hard she searched the endless distance where he once stood, always watching over her from afar. Even when she reached out, he’d slip away like a shadow, yet his presence had brought her comfort. Night after night, she would speak to him—tell him how much she missed him, how she longed to change his heart. The wolf never answered, but the sorrow in his eyes cut deeper each time, and her desperation to find him only grew over the years.
Now, her dreams were empty, filled with nothing but the ache of waiting for a love that never came. Sleepless nights blurred together as she wondered if he had forgotten her, or if something terrible had happened to him. When Harding had brought news that Solas was alive but trapped in the Fade, it brought a measure of relief, yet doubt still gnawed at her. Would she find any sign that he remembered her in this place, or had she been lost to him as well?
Harding broke the silence, her voice gentle but laced with tension. “It’s… a lot to take in, but I thought you might want to see it.” She paused, then added, “Whenever you’re ready.”
Lavellan’s breath caught in her throat, a fresh wave of anxiety washing over her. Ready? She didn’t think she ever could be. How could anyone prepare to see the deepest, most private parts of someone they loved, but had lost so long ago? 
She nodded, not trusting herself to speak. She needed to do this, no matter how much it hurt. She needed to understand him in a way she hadn’t before, to see his world, his pain, and his purpose. Where he had been all this time, if he remembered her. Even if he wasn’t there to explain it himself.
Lavellan took a shaky, deep breath and stepped toward the mirror, the surface rippling as she neared. With a final glance back at Harding and Leliana, she stepped through and the two followed.
Emerging on the other side, her breath caught in her chest. The three stepped into a realm bathed in a warm, golden glow, as if suspended in the sky. Floating islands hovered in the distance, each dotted with autumn-hued trees as if kissed by sunlight, gently swaying in an unseen breeze. Ancient elven ruins, crumbled yet graceful, drifted among them, suspended in the air like forgotten dreams.
Before them stood a weathered statue of Fen'Harel, the Dread Wolf, positioned in the heart of the courtyard. It was a figure of a protector—his posture calm, watching over the space with an almost serene presence. Cracks ran through the stone, softened by patches of moss that had claimed him over time, as though nature itself had embraced him. The statue seemed ancient, yet resilient, a symbol of an age long past, guarding the Lighthouse like a silent sentinel.
Beyond the statue, the Lighthouse rose, stretching impossibly high into the sky, its top crowned by a bright magical light encased in a spinning golden roof. The beacon pulsed with an ethereal glow, guiding not only the lost but also wandering spirits seeking refuge. The golden accents that decorated the Lighthouse shimmered in the sunlight, long streams of green fabric dancing in the wind.
Lavellan marvelled at the beauty and serenity of the place as she continued towards the entrance of the Lighthouse, carefully stepping down the broken staircase. The large door opened as the three approached, allowing them to enter the towering building.
Her breath caught in her throat as she glanced at the faded murals stretching along the pathway, their muted colours leading into the centre of the Lighthouse. Each one told a story—Solas’ time in Arlathan, his stories of rebellion, and the ancient history of the elves, including the tale of the Evanuris' downfall.The images on the walls, the stories painted into the stone, all reflected the weight of millennia. 
Murals she had seen variations of before caught her eye, depicting Fen’Harel freeing slaves and removing their Vallaslin, as he had once done for her. Another told the story of the Evanuris’ rise to power and their tyrannical ways, with Fen’Harel’s outstretched arms attempting to show them they were not truly gods.
The Dalish legends she had grown up with had taught her to fear the Dread Wolf, to tread lightly lest the trickster god hear her footsteps. But now, knowing him as she did—not as the villain in their stories, but as the man who had fought to free his people, the man she loved—her heart was torn. The fear remained, lingering like an old scar, but it was now tangled with love, understanding, and sorrow for what he had become.
Lavellan wandered through the Lighthouse, her steps slow as she absorbed the surroundings. Relics of a world long lost lay scattered around, each one steeped in both history and longing. The air felt thick with memories—some sorrowful, others sacred—echoes of a time far beyond reach.
She found herself in a large room that appeared to be underwater, giant framed glass windows as a barrier between the water, with many schools of fish swimming through the depths. A lone green leather sofa was situated in the middle of the room, stuffed bookshelves lined the walls, and an array of candles scattered across the floor creating a cosy warmth that drew her in. 
It was then that a soft flicker of candlelight against brilliant colours drew her gaze to a mural, its glow pulling at her like a distant memory. A set of candles was arranged on either side of the mural, almost as though it were a shrine. As she made her way towards the artwork, her heart sank deep into her stomach, a heavy weight settling in her chest.
The painting depicted a woman—one hand raised high, a radiant burst of green light pouring from her palm, the other clutching a sword close to her chest. Below the hilt, the familiar mark of the Inquisition gleamed. It was her.
The weight of this realisation struck her in an instant, chest tightening with disbelief, an ache settling deep as sorrow wrapped itself around her heart. Her likeness, immortalised in these ancient halls, was a reminder of what she once stood for, of the time they shared and the distance between them now. 
Her fingers traced along the lines of the mural, imagining the strokes Solas had made, his hand dragging the brush across the stone with care. Every detail, every line, told her this was more than a mere addition to his collection of stories. This was crafted with love. He had painted her not just to remember her, but to hold onto her presence, as though each stroke was a vow to never let her fade from his memory.
Tears pooled along her eyelashes. She didn’t know whether to feel honoured, heartbroken, or both. Every detail of the mural seemed to call out to her, each brushstroke a whisper of what had been, what was lost. Slowly, Lavellan’s gaze fell to a small wooden box resting beneath the mural, its presence unassuming, as though it had always been waiting for her.
Hands trembling, she reached for the box, dragging her fingertips along the warmed wood, and gently lifted the lid. Inside, nestled among the old wood, lay Solas' jawbone necklace. The one he had always worn. Lavellan paused, inspecting the familiar necklace before  reaching to lift it from the box. The sensation of the cold bone and thick rope looped around it was almost foreign, yet the weight of its meaning was still heavy.
As the jawbone rested in her palm, memories surged through her mind—fragments of what they once had. She recalled how she’d often tug him closer by the necklace, his lips moving against hers, fervent and desperate, as though her touch were the very air he breathed. She remembered idly tracing the rigid texture of the necklace as she lay against his chest, listening to the gentle rise and fall of his breath as he shared quiet stories of the Fade. Each moment felt as tangible as the cool bone now in her grasp.
She could no longer hold it with the same warmth she once had, but the connection to him, to their shared past, lingered still. The weight of the jawbone in her hand felt like a lifeline to the man she had been hunting for all these years. Desperate to keep that feeling close, she gently lifted the necklace over her head, letting the familiar curve of bone rest against her chest. It settled there, and for a brief moment, she felt as though she had him with her again.
Lavellan clutched the bone in her hand while blinking away the lingering tears which threatened to fall at any moment. As she moved forward, every step felt heavier, unable to shake the palpable sense of solitude that hung in the air. This place, with all its beauty, was not just a refuge for spirits. It was a place of mourning—a sanctuary for Solas’ lost hopes, where his memories whispered through every crack in the stone, and his loneliness lingered like a shadow.
Further in, a large dining table sat in the centre of the room. The long wooden surface stretched out before her, grand and ancient, yet only a single place setting lay at its head—a lone plate, a single cup, and neatly arranged cutlery beside them. An ache squeezed in her chest at the sight. This table, large enough for a gathering, bore only the quiet signs of one man’s solitary meals. Solas had sat here alone, day after day, surrounded by memories and ghosts of his old ambitions. 
She couldn’t bear the thought of him there, sitting quietly, the vast emptiness echoing through the room as he contemplated the burden of his mission. He had been so steadfast, so determined, yet the loneliness had seeped into every corner of his existence. How many nights had he sat here in silence, the weight of his choices pressing down on him, thinking that this was the only choice he had.
The simple setting was a stark reminder of everything he had left behind for his mission—companionship, love, the simple joys of shared moments. The pain choked at Lavellan's throat and the tears she had fought streamed down her skin as she took in the sight. She rested a hand on the back of the chair, picturing him there, staring into the distance across the table, as he grappled with the weight of millennia. He had shut everyone out, even those who would have fought beside him, and in doing so, had consigned himself to this eternal isolation.
Lavellan stood still by the table, the weight of her thoughts pushing down on her shoulders like a storm cloud on the verge of breaking. Her sadness gave way to a simmering anger that twisted deep in her chest. How could he have left her—left them—like this?  If only Solas had confided in her—trusted her with his truths. If only he had let her share the burden that had twisted his path into something unrecognisable. Things could have been different; they could have faced this together. She could have stood by his side, helped him bear the weight of his cause, find a better way, and maybe, just maybe, spared them both the pain of this isolation.
The thoughts of what could have been pierced through her, sharp and unyielding. How different would their lives have been if he hadn’t pushed her away, if he hadn’t shrouded himself in secrecy and left her to chase shadows for years? Heavy and unrelenting regret settled into her bones. They could have shared this—this fight, this journey. She had loved him enough to stay, to fight for him, but he had locked her out, too consumed by his purpose, too afraid to burden her with the truth. 
Her fingers curled into her palms, hands clenched at her sides, frustration clawing its way up her body as she thought of the pain he had caused—his actions had left Varric wounded, with the false gods free to wreak their havoc upon the world. He had condemned himself to isolation, convinced he was sparing her the pain when, in truth, he had only deepened the wound.
Maybe he had been too proud, too wrapped in his conviction that he had to bear this weight alone. He hadn’t let her love him the way she could have. If only. If only things had been different. If only he had trusted her.
Lavellan’s thoughts were then interrupted by the sound of footsteps echoing through the corridor. She wiped at her eyes hastily, straightening her posture as Leliana appeared at the doorway.
“They’ve returned,” Leliana spoke softly. “Rook and the others are back.”
Lavellan turned, her heart still heavy from the weight of her reflections. Without a word, she nodded, following Leliana out of the room and towards the group that had gathered in the main hall.
There was more to it now—she’d learned that Rook had formed a connection with Solas. A tether, almost, caused by the disrupted ritual. She had to know if there was a way, some hidden thread she could pull to reach him herself, to bridge the distance between them once more. 
A spark of determination tingled through her skin. If Rook had found a way to connect, perhaps she could too.
Later that same evening, with the sharp sting of her discoveries still fresh in her chest, Lavellan found herself standing in the Fade. 
Rook had spoken of how they had become connected to Solas through the ritual gone wrong, their fates intertwined, and Lavellan had seized upon that fragile link. It was all she needed—a thread, however thin, to follow him.
With Varric’s warning in her ears and Solas’ necklace warm against her skin, she stepped forward, stumbling through the dark and desolate landscape of the Fade. The twisted remnants of broken elven statues loomed around her, their cracked surfaces glinting dully in the ethereal light, like forgotten memories trapped in stone. The air was thick with the acrid scent of burnt magic, a bitter tang that clung to her tongue, tainted by a ritual gone horribly wrong. 
As she moved, the ground crumbled beneath her feet, each step sending a shiver through her body as she navigated the uneven terrain. She could feel Solas’ presence—distant, yet unmistakable—like a flickering flame in the depths of her mind, pulling her forward despite the air of despair that settled around her like a shroud. Echoes of lost voices whispered through the stillness, their lamentations brushing against her ears, urging her to keep searching in this forsaken place.
She had worked so hard to find him over the past ten years, constantly reaching for him in her dreams only for him to slip away like a fading memory. Her relief at hearing he was alive warred with the anger gnawing at her heart. He had stopped appearing in her dreams, and for so long she had feared the worst—afraid he had been consumed by his mission, or worse, by his pride. Yet here he was, trapped in the Fade, perhaps lost in his own way.
The thought of him being trapped, cut off from everything, pulled at her heart. Just as she had found him again, he was suffering. But that grief mixed with a simmering anger. He had hurt Varric, who had only been trying to stop him from making a terrible mistake.
Her steps quickened, the greyed path through the Fade twisting and bending as though it were alive. She remembered Varric’s words—how he had tried to stop Solas, how Solas, in his struggle tugging at the lyrium dagger, had let it go too far. The thought stung, reopening the old wounds that had never fully healed. He had hurt someone they both cared about. Had it been an accident, or had his obsession with his plan blinded him to everything else?
It was then she saw him. Solas stood at the edge of the platform, his presence powerful and untouchable like a distant star. His eyes caught hers with a knowing look, as though he had been expecting her all along. 
His strong stance wavered ever so slightly, a near imperceptible shift. Somehow, he was even more beautiful than she remembered. He was draped in dark leather armour that hugged his frame, his broad shoulders embellished with gold which decorated his chest as well. His face remained sharp and regal, though it now carried a colder edge. The weight of his millennia-old burden clung to him, as heavy as the Fade around them.
The sight of him sent a rush of warmth through her, but it was quickly swallowed by the bitter pang of nostalgia and regret, memories crashing over her like an ice cold wave. Lavellan’s voice faltered, the carefully rehearsed words slipping from her grasp, lost under the crushing gravity of his presence. For countless nights, she had imagined this moment—each conversation, every plea, practised over and over. But now, as he stood before her, all those thoughts scattered like dust, leaving her speechless.
“Solas.”
Her voice trembled with the only thing she could utter, a raw mix of anger and longing breaking free. Lavellan felt the years between them collapse. The sorrow, the love, the pain, and the anger—it all surged forward, overwhelming her in an instant.
For a moment, neither of them spoke. Solas’ expression remained guarded, though the tension in his jaw and the weariness in his eyes betrayed him. His lips parted, as though he might speak, but the words died unspoken on his tongue. The silence between them stretched, thick with unspoken history.
Lavellan’s heart raced as she struggled to steady her breath, emotions crashing over her: love, anger, and grief all vying for control. She wanted to scream at him for the pain he'd caused—to her friends, to her. She wanted to demand answers, to weep for his loneliness, for how lost he had become. But she also longed to run into his arms, to hold him so tightly he could never leave again, to feel the warmth of his lips, to taste the love they once shared.
Across the distance, Solas silently soaked in the sight before him. Amidst the boundless darkness of his prison, his heart stood before him once more. A dull ache crawled from his chest into his throat as he noticed how time had touched her. Soft lines had etched themselves across her skin—subtle, almost imperceptible to anyone but him. She looked exhausted, as though the years had been heavy, yet her beauty had not faded. Her eyes still held the same fire, the same brightness that had captivated him. 
His gaze fell to her arm, the gleam of metal catching his eye—her prosthetic. The sight of it twisted his heart into a deep, bitter knot of guilt. She had lost her arm because of choices he had made. Though removing it would save her from an untimely end, her connection to the Anchor would have consumed her had the arm remained. However, that knowledge offered little comfort. 
It was because of him. she had been marked in the first place, that she had been forced to bear that burden, to lose part of herself for a cause that had never truly been hers to fight. He carefully swallowed the pain in his throat in an attempt to mask the surge of sorrow that threatened to break through.
For a heartbeat, the distance between them seemed insurmountable and never ending. Yet the connection they had forged so long ago, deep and unshakable, remained—like a tether drawing them together even now. 
Solas shifted subtly, searching the depths of his mind for words that could bridge the chasm of time and pain between them. No words could repair the damage that had been done, not a single syllable could undo the devastation he had caused.
“Vhenan…” he whispered at last, his voice rough, heavy with all the things left unsaid. It was the only word he could manage, the only truth left to him, spoken as though it held within it all his love and regret. The word hung in the air like a fragile promise.
The harsh and unforgiving hand of grief gripped Lavellan’s heart at the sound of his endearment. It had been so long since she had heard the word leave his lips, and yet it was the same—soft, full of meaning. She placed one foot in front of the other, taking a tentative step forward, her fingers brushing against the jawbone necklace, grounding her in the reality of the moment. The memory of their love flooded her, the fluttering which overwhelmed her belly when he would call her his heart, mingling with the anger that still smouldered in her chest.
“What have you done, Solas?” Her voice cracked through her cutting words, the accusation spilling through her lips before she could bite her tongue. “You stopped coming to me. You were…tearing the Veil apart, and then Varric—” She swallowed hard, her eyes burning with unshed tears. “You didn’t stop. You hurt him, and now… the false gods are free and ready to destroy this world.”
Her words were sharp, biting, but beneath the anger was the raw, unspoken truth: she loved him. She always had. And seeing her proud, cunning love like this—trapped in the cage of his own creation—cut deeper than any wound she had ever known.
Solas’ eyes fluttered closed for a moment, his head bowing beneath the shameful weight of her words. When his eyes found her again, there was a subtle flicker in his gaze—something raw and aching, a depth of emotion she couldn’t quite define. Regret, perhaps, or something far more tangled and broken. 
“It was not supposed to happen this way,” he murmured, voice thin and weary, as if even the admission pained him, the words almost too heavy to continue. “I had a plan. The ritual, I was moving them to another prison. But Varric interfered, he disrupted a dangerous ritual. I did not intend for him to get hurt.”
The flame in Lavellan’s eyes blazed with fury, her voice trembling as the words tumbled out without a second thought. "Varric was our friend, Solas. You’ve gone too far. He wasn’t aware of your intentions. He tried to stop you, tried to make you see reason, and you—" She faltered, the pain caught in her throat reducing her voice to a weak whisper. 
Though Varric still lived, his fate was uncertain, the magic from the lyrium-infused dagger weaving through his veins unpredictably. Her dear friend had only wanted to help—and yet, he had paid the painful price for it. 
The hardened resolve in Solas’ eyes wavered, his brow furrowing with the slightest shake of his head. “I’m sorry,” he uttered, the words quiet, but laden with everything left unspoken. 
“That’s all you have to offer? After everything that’s happened? After all this time?” Lavellan’s words sliced through the air, her voice was low yet biting. Her fingers curled in, hands tense at her sides as her frustration simmered just beneath the surface. 
She was torn between the depth of her love and the hot flame of her anger. She had missed him so achingly—every day without him was a quiet torment—but now, seeing him like this, the one she’d loved so fiercely, all she could feel was the cold sting of his absence, the ache of betrayal. He had left her, and worse, he had hurt Varric in his reckless pursuit. 
And now, after everything he had done, he stood there with regret etched into his sharp features, yet offering nothing more than a simple apology. She could see the remorse in his eyes, he meant it, but it wasn’t enough—not after everything. She longed to reach out to him, to close the distance between them, but the wound was too fresh, too raw. How could she bridge the gap when all he had to offer were those meagre words?
“Nothing can change what I have already done,” Solas sighed, the sound long and weary, as though carrying the burden of centuries. 
“I know,” she replied, her voice trembling with the heaviness of her admission. “You can’t undo what’s been done… but you can still do better. You can still choose differently.”
Solas studied her, his expression unreadable for a moment, though the gravity of her words seemed to hang between them. "Better choices do not erase what has already been set in motion," he spoke quietly, his tone almost resigned, as though he carried the inevitability of his fate like a burden.
“So what, you'll just let the world fall apart because it's already in motion? You think destroying this world will somehow lead to salvation?” Lavellan began, her voice cold and cutting. Her eyes locked onto his, unflinching as she took a hard step forward. “The elven people you’re trying to save? There’ll be nothing left for them if you don’t help us stop this madness now.” 
Her words hit him like a sudden gust, rattling the walls he had built around himself. For a moment, his defences collapsed under the truth of her words. But then, almost instinctively, he pulled them back up, his expression hardening as his gaze held hers.
”'Did you come only to scold me, Vhenan? Or is there more you wish to say?”
Lavellan’s breath quickened at his response, the fire in her eyes dimming for just a moment as his question hung in the air. The silence between the two stretched, filled with all the things that had never been said, all the pain, all the longing in their time apart. She opened her mouth to respond, then closed it, struggling to speak past the heaviness of her own heart. 
"There is plenty I wish to say. But in truth, I came because—" She managed to murmur, the words catching in her throat. Her feet moved before her mind could stop them, stepping slowly towards Solas. "Because I was worried about you. Because I wanted to see you." Her voice was raw, as if speaking the truth aloud burned at her tongue. "Because…even after everything I—"
Solas’ head tilted ever so slightly, his expression softening as his furrowed brows relaxed, and for a fleeting second, something in him seemed to break. The unspoken bond between them, ever-present and undeniable, pulled at him once more. He reached out, almost as if drawn by the force of her words, but stopped himself just short.
He wanted nothing more than to hold her close to him and never let her go again. To let every thought spill from his lips and confess his love for her as if it were the first time. The warmth of her presence was only growing closer as she stepped further in his direction, her beautifully intoxicating scent stirring memories of their past together. He craved her fiercely—the softness of her lips, the feel of her smooth skin beneath his fingertips, her lovely voice whispering words of love that echoed in his heart.
But the shrinking space between them felt like a chasm born not only of time, but of all the hurt and chaos he had left in his wake. He didn’t deserve her. Not after his failure. Not after what he had done.  He couldn't bear to drag her into the darkness of his journey, a path that he believed would only lead to death. She deserved so much more than the ruins of his mistakes. 
He imagined the weight of his choices suffocating her, dimming the light that had always drawn him in. Yet as she drew nearer, he could feel the pull of her more acutely, as though the Fade itself conspired to draw them together. The ache of her absence, the torment of his own regret—none of it could dampen the magnetic force that still lingered between them.
"You should hate me," he spoke quietly, his voice barely more than a breath. "After everything I’ve done. All of the pain I have caused."
Lavellan had closed the never-ending distance between them, the air around them thick with an intensity that took her breath away. Her already racing heart quickened, emboldened by a sudden rush, a defiance against the pain that had lingered for far too long. With a trembling hand, she reached for him, her fingertips brushing against his cheek. The connection was electric, sending shivers through her, reigniting a fire that warmed her very core.
In that moment, all his carefully constructed walls began to crumble, melting away beneath her touch. She could see the tension in his shoulders ease, the weight of his regrets momentarily lifting. Their breaths mingled in the space between them, a fragile intimacy that felt both exhilarating and terrifying.
It had been years since they last stood face-to-face, their encounters reduced to her lone whispers in her dreams. Each night, she yearned for the warmth of his presence, the comfort of his touch, imagining the feel of his skin against hers, the sound of his voice calling her name. The ache of separation had clawed at her heart, and she knew he had felt it too—a longing that transcended the boundaries of their worlds. 
"I tried," she confessed, her voice heavy with emotion, barely above a whisper. "I tried to hate you, but I can’t, Vhenan. I could never."
Solas’ resolve crumbled even further, the flicker of vulnerability in his eyes undeniable. “I never wanted you to see what I’ve become. I do not deserve your forgiveness,” he pushed further in a weak attempt to suppress the overpowering love that threatened to consume him. 
“I know you cannot change what you have done,” She began through her breath, gently placing her prosthetic hand against his armoured chest and meeting his eyes directly, as though reaching into the depths of his heart. “But I see you, Solas. I see the burden you carry, I’ve seen what you hide in your Lighthouse. It hasn’t changed the way I feel about you.”
Her touch unravelled him completely, cutting through the barriers he had so meticulously built to keep her at a distance and protect her. For all the power that pulsed within him, he was utterly powerless before her. His breath was hitched in his throat, his senses overwhelmed and intoxicated by her nearness. All words escaped him, and instead, he clutched her prosthetic hand to his chest, his knuckles brushing the delicate skin of her cheek, drinking in the moment as if it were the last.
The space between the two vanished, the long-forgotten warmth of each other’s touch easing the ache of a lifetime apart. Starved of the love they had once shared, the air around them grew heavy with anticipation. The energy between them hummed, drawing them closer with each breath, until their eyes flitted shut, surrendering to the inevitable pull of their connection.
“Vhenan…” Solas found his voice once more, before the thread which held him together finally snapped and his lips found hers.
The kiss, at first tentative, quickly deepened as the years of distance, longing, and unspoken words melted between them. It wasn’t gentle; it was desperate, filled with the ache of years apart, with the pain of betrayal and the hope of forgiveness. Lavellan’s hands instinctively reached for him, fingers curling against the cool, textured surface of his armour as if he might slip away again, as if this moment might vanish like a fleeting dream. His hand cradled the back of her head, pulling her closer still, like a drowning man grasping for air.
Solas trembled against her, the control he had so precisely maintained for years finally unravelling in her embrace. Every heartbeat, every breath shared in their kiss spoke of the time they had lost and the memories they had clung to in the dark. 
He clutched at her waist, tugging her impossibly close, as though she might disappear if he allowed any distance open between them. The taste of her lips—familiar and sweet—sent a rush of emotion surging through his mouth and into his heart, blooming with love. It was a taste he had dreamed of, mixed with grief, regret, and the bittersweet recognition of all the time they could never reclaim.
For Lavellan, kissing him felt like breaking the surface after endless years submerged in sorrow. She had imagined this reunion, longed for it in her loneliest moments, but nothing could have prepared her for the rawness of it now, the intensity of feeling his warmth, his breath, after so long. Her lips moved fervently against his, as if she could anchor them both in the present, as if this kiss could hold them together while the world threatened to crumble around them.
Time seemed to slow, each second stretching into eternity as their spirits reached for one another, desperate to bridge the chasm of all that had been lost. The air around them shimmered with the intensity of their emotions, the soft crackle of magic lingering like static electricity. Tears mingled between their lips, and Lavellan found herself unsure if they were born from her own heartache or Solas’ sorrow. 
When at last they reluctantly parted, it was only enough to breathe, their foreheads pressed together and breaths mingling in the narrow space between them. The warmth of Solas’ skin contrasted with the coolness of the Fade around them. His fingers brushed her cheek, wiping away a tear, his eyes searching hers with a mix of reverence and sorrow, as if committing her face to memory all over again.
“I have missed you,” Solas admitted through a trembling breath, his voice fraying at the edges, each syllable thick with longing and vulnerability. “Every moment, I have missed you.”
Lavellan’s heart stilled at his confession, the pain she’d carried for so long softening, giving way to a quiet joy she had scarcely dared to feel. It was real—his yearning, his regret. He had missed her, and in hearing those words, a wave of warmth rushed through her, filling the hollow space his absence had left behind, like sunlight breaking through a dark, heavy cloud.
“As have I,” she whispered, her voice a breath, an ache. “I love you, Solas.”
The distance between them vanished once more as she closed the space with her lips. An electric tangle of desperation and love crackled in the air, as if they could pour every stolen moment of the past ten years into this one kiss. She breathed the words against his lips— Ar lath ma. I love you, I love you, over and over, with each fleeting pause for air. One hand gripped his broad shoulder as though holding onto the thread of the life they might still have together, while the other skimmed gingerly across his sharp jaw, the cool metal of her fingertips shooting a shiver down his spine.
As their lips moved together, she tasted the faint remnants of the Fade on him—like the bittersweet tang of twilight and the warmth of embers long extinguished. The air was thick with unspoken promises, Solas’ scent enveloping her, an earthy blend of ancient forests, fragrant herbs, and a whisper of magic that felt both familiar and achingly distant. Her heart raced, a wild drum echoing in her ears, as she felt the world around them fade into insignificance. In that moment, nothing else mattered—just the two of them, entwined in a dance of love and longing, the taste of their shared past lingering sweetly on their tongues.
Solas drew a tight breath, his lips forming the words in return, “Ar lath ma, I love you,” each confession fragile and tender, as if speaking it aloud made the moment more real. His hands cupped her face with reverence, fingers tracing the contours of her skin as if rediscovering her all over again, as though he needed to believe this wasn’t some fading dream. She was truly here with him, loving him still, despite all that had come between them. And with each kiss, each murmured promise of love, he felt the final crumbling of the walls he had built to protect himself from this—this undeniable truth that she saw him, truly, as he was: Fen'Harel, the Dread Wolf. And still, she chose him—Solas.
Warm, fresh tears streamed down his cheeks—tears of relief, not of sorrow, and for the first time in an age, he felt lighter, the burden of millennia softening in her embrace. 
Lavellan’s fingers traced the familiar lines of his face, feeling the tension in his jaw slowly release. She caught her breath, pressing her forehead gently to his once more, letting the moment wrap around them like a fragile cocoon, holding them together.
They no longer needed words. There was no need for promises, no talk of what came next.
For now, they were simply here—together.
Solas’ hands held her tightly against him, as if memorising every curve of her, grounding himself in her presence, in the warmth of her body pressed to his. He drank in every bit of her, enraptured by the way her eyes sparkled with the tears she had shed. There was no one more beautiful, in body and spirit.
The world beyond them faded into the abyss—no ancient gods, no torn Veil, no crumbling ruins. Just the rhythmic sound of their breaths mingling between them, the quiet beat of their hearts within their chests, steady and sure. For so long, he had dreamed of this, and yet the reality of it was more than he could have ever imagined.
Lavellan clutched him closer, as if to say all the things she couldn’t form with her lips, as if to tell him that here, in this moment, she chose him—not Fen’Harel, not the Dread Wolf. Just Solas.
And as they stayed there, lost in each other, neither knew how long the moment would last—only that, for now, it was enough.
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loveesiren · 4 months ago
Text
Doing It All For Us (Pt. 1)
Masterlist
Rafe Cameron x Reader
Summary: Y/n moves to the Outer Banks from California, reuniting with her best friend. She's quickly introduced to Rafe Cameron, the psychotic Kook King of Figure out.
Warnings: Drug use, drinking, swearing, virginity, slut shaming, fighting, toxic
Word Count: 4.4k
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As soon as Rafe Cameron laid eyes on you, it was over for every other fucking girl on the island. The way your hips swayed in your little black dress. The why the glitter coating your eyelids shimmered when the light hit them just so. The jewelry that clung to your skin. You were breathtaking.
Rafe couldn't pick his jaw up off the floor as you walked past him, not even glancing in his direction. The two girls sitting beside him stared at you with hatre filled eyes.
"What's her name?" Rafe asked, his eyes focused on your figure as you walked up to a group of people at the party.
Topper and Kelce burst out laughing. Rafe turned to face them. "What?"
"Dude, she will squash you like bug," Kelce laughed.
"Her name." Rafe demanded.
Kelce sighed. "Y/N Y/L/N." He responded. "Just moved here from California. The new Kook Queen if you ask me."
"Her dad works for Elon Musk or some shit, dude. She's filthy fucking rich." Topper added.
"Who cares?" One of the girls, Jessica, asks as she clings to Rafe's arm.
"She ain't shit," Maria said.
Rafe pays them no mind as he brings his eyes back to you. Dark hair, perfectly straightened, falling to the small of your back.
"Let's go say hi to the new girl," Maria suggests as Jessica gets up to join her.
You and Courtney are throwing your heads back with laughter when two girls approach you.
"Courtney, gonna introduce us to your friend?" Maria asked.
Courtney sighed. "What do you cunts want?"
"Wow, so rude! We just wanted to give the newest member of the island a warm welcome." She said as she turned to you. You scoffed at her sarcasm.
"I'm Maria, and this is Jess," Maria said as she extended a hand to you.
You curled your left hand back, pulling your drink to your shoulder as your other hand reached out to grip hers firmly.
"Y/N." You gave a bitchy smile.
"So, are you here to be the next biggest slut on the island? Not sure you could compete with Courtney here." Jessica asked.
You glanced at Courtney, her eyes full of hurt but she quickly looked to the floor.
You turned back to her. "Ha, funny!" You said before throwing your drink in her face and grabbing her hair, quickly slamming her face down into the beer pong table beside you.
"Holy shit!" The guys around the table said as they stepped back. Rafe stood up quickly and watched you as you continuously slammed this girls face into the table.
You pulled her head back so that you could look at the work you'd done on her face. "Keep Courtney's name out of your mouth. Keep my name out of your mouth. That way, I won't have to finish your bitch ass off, cunt!" You yelled to her before dropping her to the floor. Maria was quickly by her side.
"Anyone else have a fucking problem?!" You yelled, scanning the room as everyone stared at you. You were met with silence and shaking heads. "Cool! I'm Y/N, I just moved here." You announced, a satisfied smile on your face. "Nice to meet you all!" You chuckled before turning around and walking out of the party.
"Goddamn dude!" Topper and Kelce conversed as they clung to eachothers shoulders. Rafe watched you leave, paying attention to the confidence in your stride. I small smile broke across his face.
Rafe Cameron was in love.
___________
You sat at the table sipping your mimosa. Courtney mirroring your behavior across from you. "Ugh," You groaned. "I'm never doing that much coke again!"
"Never again," Courtney repeated as she rested her head against the base of her palm.
You had woken up in time to get brunch at the club. Well actually, you barely ever went to sleep. You knew you wouldn't be able to eat much but you definitely needed your morning mimosa to nurse this hangover.
Your navy blue bikini hugged your body tight, dangerously close to exposing you. Gold chains clung to your waist and arms. Eyeliner big and bold, lined with your signature rhinestones. You could feel eyes judging you and the thought made you giggle.
"So how do you like the island so far?" Courtney asked, taking a small bite of her toast.
"It's different," You admitted. "But it's cute. The parties are fun." You winked at her.
"Yeah, everyone is talking about that." Courtney giggled. "You haven't even been here two weeks and you already beat the shit out of one of the islands most adored Kooks."
You chuckled. Courtney had explained the Kooks and Pogues to you. It made you laugh. You thought the concept was silly. But when you drove to the Cut to pick up coke from Barry, you realized why there were two entirely different worlds inhabiting the island.
Courtney was full Kook. Tall, thin, blonde. She had been your childhood best friend back in LA. When she moved to the Outer Banks for her dads new job at 16, you stayed in close contact. When your dad told you you'd be moving out there with him because he got promoted, you were ecstatic. Saying goodbye to California was hard but you were so excited to start a new adventure with your best friend.
Your dad bought a nice little mansion in Figure Eight. A few houses down from Courtney's. It was just the two of you, and your dad traveled a lot. Courtney often came over to keep you company in the large house.
You had the master bedroom. The ceiling was tall, plenty of windows for the southern sun to shine through. A fire place under your tv. A HUGE walk in closet with a huge bathroom to match. Your dad opted for the bedroom on the other side of the house. The one that connected to his office. Needless to say, he was always in there or traveling. The rest of the house was practically yours.
"You should throw a party," Courtney suggested. "Your dad will be gone all weekend right?"
Your eyes lit up at the idea. You gave her a half smile. "Invite all the Kooks you know!" You teased.
She grabbed her phone, ready to send out a mass invite to the rest of the island. You eyed some of the golfer's on the course. You slid your over-sized shades down your nose as you took in the site of one tall, shaggy-haired boy swinging his club around and laughing.
"Message sent!" Courtney squealed.
You watched as the boy took his phone out of his pocket and checked his messages.
"Who's that?" You asked Courtney.
She giggled and rolled her eyes. "That would be Rafe Cameron. Kook King."
Party @ Y/N's. Saturday @ 8. Bring booze.
Rafe read the message and smiled before his eyes flickered up to where you and Courtney sat on the deck of the club.
Rafe's eyes met yours and you grinned at him. He looked back down at his phone and typed out a message.
"Speak of the devil," Courtney said as she witnessed the exchange. "Rafe will be there." She said as she danced her phone in front of your face.
You gave Rafe one more lustful look before you pushed your sunglasses up your nose and turned your attention to the waiter. "2 tequila shots, please!" You asked.
Rafe bit his lip and scanned your body one more time before heading back to his game.
___________________________________
"You almost ready Court?!" You called before throwing back another shot of tequila. You looked in the mirror, making sure all the rhinestones glued to your eyelids were stuck in place over the shimmery blue eyeshadow you had chosen.
Girls here were so basic. You were thankful Courtney still knew how to make a lasting impression.
"Yep!" She said as she came out of the bathroom. Her tight purple dress hugging her skinny form. "What do you think?"
"Cute as fuck!" You said as you motioned for her to twirl around. "Let's show these Kooks how to fucking party!" You said as you grabbed her hand and dragged her downstairs.
Before too much longer the house was bumping with bass from the surround sound that echoed in every room. You laughed as you walked through the crowd of people drinking and dancing. You made your way outside just in time to see someone jump off your roof into your pool.
You were super drunk, seeing double. "Fuck, I need a line." You said to yourself as you ran your fingers through your hair. You made your way back inside towards the nearest bathroom.
You pounded on the door but it remained locked. "Ugh!" You screamed as you made your way towards the laundry room in the back of your house.
You stumbled past the door and closed it behind you, trying to gain control of your senses.
"You good?" You heard a voice say to you.
You jumped, not expecting anyone to be in here. You looked up and locked eyes with Rafe Cameron.
"What are you doing in here?" You asked him
"Drugs." He shrugged before leaning over the dryer and inhaling a large line of cocaine.
"Gimme some," You demanded as you stumbled towards him.
"As you wish, Princess." He smiled, offering you the rolled up bill.
You snorted two lines in a row and smiled as you lifted your head back up, feeling a thousand times better.
"Thanks," You said to him. "I was starting to feel sick."
"No problem," He said, smiling down at you.
Fuck, he was tall. And cuter up close.
"I'm Y/N." You said, offering him your hand.
He brought your hand up to his mouth. "Rafe," He said before placing a soft kiss on your knuckles. The gesture sent chills through your body.
"What brings you to the Outer Banks?" He asks as he turned to cut up more lines.
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You boosted yourself up onto the washer. "Dad got a promotion. Does financing for Tesla or something. I don't really know. He's not around much."
"Really?" He asks, genuinely curious.
"Yeah. Pretty much deposits money into my bank account every month and fucks off." You say as your look down, kicking your feet nervously.
"What about your mom?" He asks, handing you the bill.
You jump down and snort another line. "She died when I was really young." You said as you wiped your nose.
"Yea, mine too." He said before bending over to take his line. "Right after my youngest sister was born."
"How many sisters do you have?"
"Two," He responds, pinching his nose. "They're annoying as fuck." He chuckled.
"Hmm," You smiled. "I wish I had siblings." You said.
He eyed you up and down. Making you almost nervous. "What?" You asked.
"Nothing," He chuckled. "You're just uhh...you look really beautiful." He confessed shyly.
You smiled at him. "You're not so bad yourself."
You spent the rest of the night in the laundry room with Rafe. Talking and laughing, completely ignoring the party going on outside. You knew your phone was buzzing but you ignored it as you and Rafe had intimate, coked out discussions. He told you all about his family and you told him about yours. He told you about his passions and his dreams and you were interested in every single detail he had to share.
"Y/N!" You heard Courtney banging on the other side of the door.
"Shit!" You said as you got up from your spot on the floor, letting Courtney in. The light that shined through the door hurt your eyes.
"What the fu-" Courtney began as she noticed you and Rafe sitting across from eachother on the floor. "Is this where you were all night?"
"What are you talking about, Court?" You said as you raised a hand to your eyes to shield you from the light.
"Y/N! It's 9am! Everyone is fucking gone. Besides Topper and Kelce and a few others who passed out in the living room."
"What the fuck?" You asked confused as you made your way to your feet. Your eyes finally adjusting to the light. "Are you serious?"
"How much coke did you guys do?" Courtney laughed as you and Rafe pushed passed her and made your way out to the kitchen.
"Fucking shit." You said as you took in the sight around you. Cups and bottles littered every inch of your house.
"I can call my cleaning lady," Rafe said as he pulled out his phone.
"Uh, yes fucking please," You said. "I'm not cleaning up a party I barely attended."
"You're the one who threw it!" Courtney said, smirking as she crossed her arms.
You turned to flip her off as you made your way to the fridge, grabbing a bottle of Fiji water. You chugged half the bottle before grabbing two more and handing them to Rafe and Courtney.
"Thanks," Rafe said softly. You offered him a small smile and leaned back against the kitchen counter, staring into your living room.
"So who the fuck are these guys?" You ask, taking another sip of water.
"Those would be my best friends," Rafe chuckled.
You gave a sarcastic frown. "Classy," You nodded.
The way Rafe's eyes met yours as he chuckled made you nervous, but excited.
"Morning shots, bitches!" Courtney screamed as she dug out her hidden bottle of tequila and chugged a good shot and a half before handing the bottle to you.
The guys on your couch started to stir. "You guys are already drinking again?" Topper asked, rubbing the sleep from his eyes.
"What? Can't keep up with Cali girls?" You teased as you threw back a couple shots from the bottle and passed it to Rafe.
"Bet." He said before taking a swig.
____________
The five of you ended up drunk on the beach. You, Rafe, Courtney, Topper, and Kelce to be exact. Rafe's cleaning staff had come by and you all decided to leave them to it and go enjoy another round of partying.
You and Courtney laughed as you passed the bottle of tequila back and forth.
"Yo, quit hogging. I need some hair of the dog." Kelce said as he reached for the bottle.
"Pussy," You chuckled as you handed it to him. "Come on, Court. Let's swim!"
You and Courtney raced down the sand to the waves and dived in. Little did you know Rafe was watching you intently. He eyed you as you came up from under the water and slicked your hair back. The way you jumped onto your taller best friend and swung around with her. The way you threw your head back and laughed. He saw it all in slow motion as he breathed in the sight of you. You were nothing short of a Goddess and it took everything in him to stay put and watch you from afar.
"She's so hot," Topper drooled as he pressed the bottle of tequila to Rafe's arm, snapping him out of his trance.
"They're both so fucking hot," Kelce added as he watched you and Courtney play closely in the water.
"Haven't you already fucked Court?" Topper asked.
Rafe took the bottle from him and took a short sip before resting his elbows back on his knees, swirling the tequila around in the bottle in front of him.
"Yeah, but like..." Kelce began. "I need to fuck them together." He laughed.
"Shut up, Kelce." Rafe scolded him.
"Whoa man," Kelce said, bringing his arms up in defense. "Don't tell me you wouldn't do the same."
Rafe ignored him, taking another swig. He honestly wouldn't. He didn't look twice at Courtney. All he could see was you. The only thought he had about Courtney was wishing he was in her place right now as he watched you jump into her arms and pull her under water with you.
"Yeah, he's whipped." Kelce concluded. Him and Topper both laughing.
"What?" Rafe asks.
"Bro, we've been trying to get your attention for like five minutes. Pick your jaw up off the floor and wipe the drool from you mouth." Kelce laughed.
____
"I think he likes you," Courtney teased.
"Who?"
"Rafe, dumbass! He's been staring at you for like 30 minutes. It's actually creepy."
You smile, chancing a look at Rafe. He was looking at you and you offered a smile in return. You brought your hand up and waved a couple fingers at him. You could see a hint of red spread across his cheeks and that satisfied you.
"He's cute." You tell Courtney simply as you wade in the water. You enjoyed the warmth the Atlantic had to offer over the ice cold feeling of the Pacific.
"He's cute?" Courtney asked. "Bitch, you were locked in a room with him for like 10 hours. Don't act like something isn't going on."
"We were high," You chuckled. But you remembered every single detail of your conversations with Rafe.
Before Courtney could say anything back, her face fell as she looked toward the beach behind you.
"What?" You ask before turning to meet her gaze.
"Trouble has arrived," Courtney sighed as you spotted Jessica and Maria chatting up the boys.
"Fuck those cunts," You said as you looked back out towards the ocean.
___
"Man, ya'll better get to steppin'," Kelce told the blonde bimbos that just approached him as he nodded toward the water.
Jess and Maria turned to lock eyes with you and Court in the water. Jessica scoffed. "Sluts will be sluts," She said loud enough for you to hear.
"Yeah, how's that nose feeling, bitch?!" Courtney yelled back at her.
"Oh, like it's my fault your little friend caught me off guard!" She yelled back.
"Oh, you wanna go for round two?" You asked as you emerged from the water.
Rafe's eyes scanned your body as water dripped off of your skin and hair.
"Go ahead, bitch!" You said as you came within a couple feet of her. "Throw the first punch!"
Rafe quickly got up and wrapped his arm around your waist. "They aren't worth it, sweetheart." He whispered against your temple as he pulled you back.
"Wow Rafe, didn't peg her as your type." Jess scoffed.
"You know what, go the fuck away!" Rafe yelled at them as he kept a firm grip on your waist, using his other hand to wave the girls off.
"Bye-bye," Courtney waved at them, giving them her devilish smirk. She knew good and well the girls lusted after Rafe and Kelce. She could see the jealousy rise in their faces when Rafe wrapped his arm around Y/N.
"Have fun with the sluts!" The girls yelled as they walked away. Rafe tightened his grip on you as you tried to go after them.
"Yeah, suck my dick, cunt!" You yelled after them.
"Hey, hey, hey," Rafe said as he grabbed at your hips and turned you to face him. "They're just a couple of dumb bitches, don't let them get to you."
"They fucked with Court," You said dryly.
"Hey, let's go to the club, I'll buy you a drink, yeah?" He asked. His fingers brushed your chin lightly as he gently pulled your gaze towards him.
You relaxed a little. "Yeah, okay." You said, offering a small smile.
_____________
You spent the next few weeks with your new crew. Topper still had school, and of course, he was dating Rafe's little sister, Sarah. But he made it a point to come around as often as he could. Sarah wasn't overly thrilled about that considering the way the rest of the island saw you and Courtney. Short skirts, bold make up, colored hair. It was like no one on this island had ever seen a person outside the island before.
But you and Court walked with confidence, swaying your hips as every pair of eyes stayed glued to you. Not to mention the boys trailing closely behind you. You felt like you owned this island.
Apart from Court, Rafe had become your best fucking friend. The two of you were practically glued at the hip. And it didn't go unnoticed that you both had a temper. You both hyped eachother up easily. He'd never met a girl that could party like you. One that could keep up with him. And when you lost your temper, Rafe was able to pick you up and carry you away with one arm before you caused any real damage. And when you could see Rafe ready to knock someone out, your voice calmed him. He melted every time you spoke, as if God herself had come down to whisper in his ear.
But Rafe would never tell you that. He watched as you danced with guys at parties, always keeping an eye on you to make sure they didn't push it too far. It destroyed him to see you cling to another guy, that guy making you smile. But at the end of the night, you were always going home in his truck, laughing and smiling the whole way. He wouldn't dare ruin that.
The group spent a lot of time at your house since your dad was almost never home. Rafe spent the most time there. He had confided in you about how his dad only cares about Sarah and always gives him a hard time.
"Fuck him," You spat. "Wanna kill him?" You ask, raising your eyebrows with a devilish smirk before leaning over your coffee table to rail another line of blow.
Rafe chuckled, knowing you were joking. But he loved the psychotic look that passed over your face.
"But seriously, Rafe," You said as you looked back up to him, pinching your nose and sniffing. "You're a good person. Like, the best person I've ever met. And if your dad can't see that then it's his loss."
"Yeah," He said as he took the rolled up bill from you. "You're right," He leaned over and took his line. "I just, uh, I just wish he'd be like proud of me, ya know?"
"Yeah, I know Rafey." You said, smiling at him softly.
He smiled back at you, taking in all of your features. Your deep, Y/E/C eyes shining up at him under yesterdays glitter. The way your messy hair still made you look like a model. The glow of your highlighter against your tan skin.
"Rafe? Rafe!" You snapped, trying to get his attention.
He snapped out of his trance. "What?" He said, almost surprised.
"Dude, we need to sell the rest of this shit." You told him as you motioned to the eight ball on the table. "Barry is gonna fuck you up. He's expecting his money tomorrow."
"Yeah, yeah, I got it covered." He said. "There's a bonfire on the beach tonight. Like, everyone will be there. We can definitely sell all this."
"Alright, cool. I'll go get ready." You said as you made your way to your bedroom. "Hey, Court is on her way over! Let her in, will you?" You shout back to him as you make your way down the hall.
"Anything for you, sweetheart!" He shouts back.
You blush slightly at his words.
You touched up your make up, throwing some of your signature rhinestones on. Then you pulled on a pretty skimpy red bikini and a pair of dark blue jean shorts over it. You draped yourself in your usual gold jewelry and put in a cute dangly Chanel belly ring.
"Hey bitch," Courtney said as she walked through your door and laid on your bed. "You look hot,"
"Thanks bitch," You said as you sprayed way too much of your KKW perfume on your skin.
"I'm surprised Rafe isn't in here gawking over you as you get ready." She chuckled as she laid on her stomach and rested her chin in her hands.
"We're just friends, Court," You smiled at her. "He's like, my best friend."
"Oh, cuz fuck me right?" Courtney responded.
"You know, other than you, dumb bitch." You chuckled.
Rafe stood outside the door quietly. He had intended to come see if you were ready but he couldn't help but eavesdrop on the girls conversation.
"So you're telling me you're not gonna let Rafe motherfucking Cameron take your virginity?"
Rafe's eyes widened at the statement and suddenly he felt guilty for listening in.
"Court!" You hissed.
"Don't worry! Your secret is safe with me. The whole island still thinks you're a little slut like me." She chuckled. "But bitch, this isn't the 80s, you need to catch a dick!"
"Unlike you, I get pleasure elsewhere." You stated.
Courtney sighed. "An unhealthy addiction to cocaine is hardly what I'd call pleasure. Besides, you've never even done it. How do you know sex wouldn't be better?"
At this point Rafe knew he needed to walk away. He made his way back to the kitchen and grabbed a beer from the fridge, trying to calm his nerves.
You and Courtney finally came out of your room. Rafe eyes immediately fall to your breasts, barely contained by the small bikini top. He quickly looks back up to meet your eyes and smiles. "I like your make up," He says softly, hoping you didn't catch him slip up.
"Thank you," You smiled up at him.
"What am I, a fucking side salad?" Courtney huffed.
"Chicken caesar," Rafe shot back. "The best salad in all the land. You look gorgeous as well." He told her.
She rolled her eyes and smiled. "Thanks Rafe. I'm always happy to be this steaks side salad," She giggled, gesturing to you.
You all burst out laughing.
"Ya'll are wack," You said as you giggled your way to the kitchen. "Pregame?" You asked, pulling out a bottle of tequila and 3 shot glasses.
"Just one," Rafe says. "Gotta drive the Kook Queens around."
You smile at him before pouring the shots. You slide one to Courtney and Rafe and hold yours up. "To the queens," You smile seductively.
"To the motherfucking queens!" Courtney said before throwing hers back, you and Rafe doing the same. "Hit me again!"
You and Courtney take a few more shots before you're feeling buzzed enough to be social. "Let's make some money!" You say as your jump onto Rafe and cling to his neck. He spins you around once before putting you down.
"Let's do it," He says with a smirk as he ushered you and Courtney out the door.
He opens the passenger door for you to climb into his truck before opening the back door for Courtney. Once you are both comfortably inside he shuts the door and makes his way to the driver's side.
"Bluetooth!" You scream at Rafe, ready to play your music.
"Okay, okay," He says. He taps a few buttons on the screen until it says your phone is connected. "Here ya go, sweetheart."
"You know what?" You say, cocaine and alcohol sending a nice chill through your body. "I feel fucking good!"
"Amen to that!" Court says from the back seat, taking a swig from the bottle of tequila.
"I wanna show you guys a song," You say, scrolling through your phone. "Bump this shit and tell me it doesn't make you feel fucking Euphoric!"
All the windows were down and you and Court leaned back out the window, letting your hair fly in the wind. You held her hand as you both laughed with happiness.
Rafe's eyes scanned your body. Your arched back as you leaned out the window. Your skin was perfectly tan and your body jewelry clung to you just right.
He had to pry his eyes away to keep them on the road. But you were right. He felt fucking euphoric.
"All for us," He whispered to himself.
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ssa-dado · 3 months ago
Text
6 - Synthesis
Aaron Hotchner x bau!fem!reader
Genre: angst, fluff, slow burn
Summary: After an intense case, you and Hotch struggle with unresolved tensions from a previous argument. On the train back, Hotch overhears Peter comforting you about a recent tragedy, realizing he’s been blind to your pain. Later, Hotch unexpectedly shows up at your apartment, opening up and apologizing for his emotional distance, leading to a heartfelt moment of mutual vulnerability. That evening, you attend Peter’s welcome-back party, feeling lighter and reconnecting with the team. That's when Peter makes an unusual bet with you.
Warnings: death, grief, emotional abuse, domestic violence, family dysfunction.
Word Count: 7.6k
Dado's Corner: Phi posting two chapters in less than 12 hours? More likely than you think. I was supposed to wait until tomorrow, but I just couldn’t help myself. Thank you all so much for the love and support you’ve shown for the series so far! Each of you holds a special place in my cold little heart. Please don’t hate me after this - it hurts me, too - but hey, there’s some interrogation room Aaron to sweeten things up. I’m particularly proud of this cute, lovely chapter. It doesn’t make me want to jump out the window. Not even a little bit. Embrace the pain.
previous part ; masterlist
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Gideon smiled knowingly, his eyes shifting between you and Hotch. “Thesis, antithesis, and synthesis,” he mused, almost as if he were speaking to himself but loud enough for you to hear. “Funny how life always seems to come back to that, doesn’t it?”
The observation room was dimly lit, casting long, uneven shadows over you and Peter as you stood behind the two-way mirror, your heartbeat seemed to echo in the quiet, barely audible over the hum of the fluorescent light. You watched Hotch on the other side, preparing to interrogate the suspect, he appeared calm as usual, wearing his mask of stoicism proudly on his face, but you could tell the tension was palpable.
The room beyond the glass was stark, the suspect sat at the metal table gleaming under the harsh light with a smug expression, arms casually draped over the back of his chair, utterly unbothered. Te view was borderline infuriating.
The hair on your arms stood up, not just from the cold, but from the overwhelming sense of helplessness that had settled over the case. You couldn’t shake the nagging thought that you were grasping at straws, the weight of the local police’s blunders pressing heavily on your chest. They had fumbled, and badly. Critical evidence had slipped through their fingers, lost or contaminated in the chaos. You didn’t even want to hear the whole story—you were too furious, your senses shutting down as the same detective who had once doubted your work stumbled through a pathetic apology. All you had now was Hotch. No physical proof, no solid evidence to tie this man to the crimes you knew he’d committed.
Your gaze flicked back to the suspect, his arrogance nauseating. He knew the game, knew the system, and worse, he knew how to manipulate it to his advantage. There was a clock ticking in your mind, every second precious, the sense of urgency suffocating. If Hotch couldn’t break him - if he couldn’t find a way past the layers of lies and smug indifference - you’d lose him. You couldn’t afford that, not now.
Peter’s jaw clenched as he observed the scene, his frustration evident. “This was a mistake,” he muttered, running a hand through his hair. “We warned them not to bring him in without something solid. Now we’re stuck trying to clean up their mess.”
You nodded, your mind still reeling from the argument with Hotch the night before, as if all of this mess wasn’t already enough for your nerves to handle. The tension between you two had lingered, unresolved and heavy, adding another layer to your frustration. You tried to shake it off, but it clung to you, making it even harder to focus. “Yeah, and now Hotch has to pull off a miracle,” you said, your voice tinged with both a tinge of annoyance and worry. “He’s got one shot to get this right.”
Peter turned his attention back to the interrogation room, his eyes narrowing as Hotch sat across from the suspect. “If anyone can do it, it’s him. I’ve seen Hotch work multiple times, and somehow he even looks sharper, more intense.”
Inside the room, Hotch began his interrogation with a measured calm, his eyes locked on the suspect, who lounged back in his chair, exuding a quiet confidence. Hotch started with the basics, the routine questions meant to establish rapport, but the suspect was playing his own game, answering with a smug smile and evasive nonchalance.
Hotch leaned back, crossing his arms as he observed the suspect’s every move, every twitch. “You’ve been careful,” Hotch said, his voice steady but probing. “I’ll give you that. You’ve covered your tracks well. But you slipped up, everyone makes mistakes, especially when they think they’re untouchable.”
The suspect smirked, feigning boredom. “You’re wasting your breath, Agent Hotchner. You and I both know you have nothing on me - no evidence, no witnesses. You’re grasping at straws.”
Hotch’s gaze remained unflinching, but you could see the subtle shift in his demeanor, the way he leaned in just slightly, narrowing the space between the two of them. “You’re right, we don’t have physical evidence, but we do have you, and that’s enough. Because here’s the thing - you’re not as smart as you think you are. You’ve made this personal, and personal is messy.”
The suspect chuckled, tapping his fingers lightly on the table as if this were a game to him. “Oh, please. I’ve seen every tactic in the book, and I’ve got an answer for all of them. You can’t intimidate me, Hotchner. I know my rights. You’ve got nothing.”
Hotch’s expression remained stoic, but there was a flash of determination in his eyes. “You think this is about intimidation? You’re missing the point. This isn’t about fear, it’s about you and the mistakes you’ve made. You’ve left a trail, little hints of who you really are. You think you’ve hidden them, but they’re there, buried in the details.”
The suspect’s confident facade faltered for just a second, but he quickly recovered, scoffing. “You’re reaching. This isn’t some TV show where the bad guy breaks down in a dramatic confession. I’m not saying a damn thing without my lawyer.”
Hotch’s demeanor shifted, a cold, calculating edge creeping into his voice. “Your lawyer? You think your lawyer’s going to save you? They’ll do their job, make sure you’re comfortable, make sure you feel safe. But at the end of the day, they’re not in here with you, they’re not the ones facing the consequences of your actions - you are. And you’ve got no one to blame but yourself.”
From the other side of the glass, you watched Hotch methodically chip away at the suspect’s arrogance. Each line of questioning was a carefully placed strike, designed to weaken his resolve, but the suspect wasn’t giving in easily. He deflected, twisted Hotch’s words, and tried to turn the conversation back on him.
“You think you’re so righteous, don’t you?” the suspect sneered, leaning forward with a glint of disdain in his eyes. “Sitting there, acting like you’ve got the moral high ground. You don’t know me, Agent Hotchner. You don’t know a damn thing about what I’ve been through, the people I’ve dealt with - you think you’re better than me?”
Hotch didn’t flinch even if the last words reminded him of the argument he had with you down at the lobby. “No, I don’t think I’m better than you, but I do know who you are. You’re the guy who blames everyone else when things go wrong, the guy who hides behind his intellect because he’s too scared to admit he’s just another coward trying to prove he’s not afraid. But guess what? That act doesn’t work on me.”
The suspect’s composure slipped, his anger flaring as Hotch hit a nerve. “You don’t get to judge me! You sit there like you’re some kind of saint, but you’re just as flawed as the rest of us. You have no right—”
Hotch cut him off sharply, his voice cold and unyielding. “You’re right. I’m not perfect. I’ve made my mistakes, and I own them. But I’m not the one hiding behind excuses, you are. You’re the one who thinks he can play God, decide who deserves to live or die based on your twisted sense of justice. But here’s the thing: you’re not in control, not anymore.”
From the observation room, you felt your chest tighten. Hotch was relentless, pushing the suspect further than you’d ever seen him push anyone before. It was as if he’d tapped into something raw and unforgiving, something that drove him to keep going, to tear down every last defense the suspect had.
Peter glanced at you, his brow furrowing. “I’ve never seen him go this hard. It’s like he’s on a mission.”
You nodded, the tension from last night’s argument still simmering inside you. You knew why Hotch was pushing himself like this: because of you, because of the unresolved words between you, and because he needed to prove something, maybe even to himself. “He’s not going to stop until he gets what he wants.”
Inside the room, the suspect’s attitude was crumbling. Hotch leaned in closer, his voice dropping to a near whisper, laced with a quiet menace. “You think you’re untouchable, that you’ve covered all your bases. But I’ve spent years in courtrooms taking down men just like you, men who thought they were too smart to get caught. I know every trick, every lie, every pathetic attempt to weasel your way out of the truth.”
The suspect’s face tightened, his hands clenching into fists as he tried to maintain control. But Hotch was unrelenting, his gaze piercing through every layer of the man’s defenses. “You don’t want to admit it, but you’re scared, I can see it in your eyes. You’re terrified that the truth is going to come out, that all your carefully crafted lies are going to fall apart right in front of you - so, here’s your last chance. Tell me the truth. Tell me why you did it.”
There was a beat of silence, a heavy pause as the suspect’s composure finally shattered. His shoulders slumped, his defiance giving way to resignation. He looked up at Hotch, defeated and angry, his voice breaking as he finally confessed, each word a bitter surrender. “Fine. Fine, you want the truth? I did it. I killed them. But you have no idea why. You don’t know what it’s like to be powerless.”
“No you’re right, I don’t.” Hotch sat back, a flicker of triumph in his eyes, though his expression remained guarded: he had what he needed. The confession was out, raw and unfiltered, pulled from the depths of the suspect’s desperation.
Peter let out a low whistle, still reeling from what he’d witnessed. “That was... intense. I’ve never seen Hotch like that, he’s kind of intimidating.”
You nodded in agreement, your gaze still fixed on Hotch as he calmly gathered his notes, preparing to leave the room. You could see the toll it had taken on him, the emotional weight he carried even as he walked out victorious, and as much as you wanted to celebrate the success, the confrontation from the night before still lingered, leaving you with the unsettling realization that this fight wasn’t just with the suspect - it was within Hotch himself.
When Hotch stepped out of the interrogation room, the tension in his posture seemed to ease, but only slightly. His face was set in its usual mask of calm control, yet there was a heaviness in his eyes, a flicker of something raw that he couldn’t quite hide. Peter clapped him on the back, a mix of admiration and relief in his expression. “Hell of a job, Hotch. You tore him apart. I’ve seen you work, but that was something else entirely.”
Hotch gave a tight nod, his jaw still clenched, but his gaze was already shifting past Peter, landing on you. His eyes were searching, almost like he was trying to gauge your reaction, seeking some unspoken acknowledgment from you. “Thanks,” he said, his voice measured but tinged with exhaustion. “It had to be done.”
You stood there with your arms crossed, leaning against the wall, trying to maintain a composed exterior, but inside, you were anything but calm. Watching Hotch in that room, ruthlessly tearing down the suspect’s defenses, stirred something deep within you. It was impressive, yes, but also unsettling. You had never seen him so relentless, so driven - and you knew exactly what was fueling his determination.
As Hotch’s gaze lingered on you, there was a silent understanding between you, a shared acknowledgment of the emotional battlefield you both were navigating. The words from your argument the night before still echoed in your mind, sharp and unresolved, like an open wound that hadn’t had the chance to heal. The case had forced you both to set your personal issues aside, but now, in the aftermath, they were still there, hovering between you like a shadow neither of you could ignore.
Peter glanced between the two of you, sensing the charged atmosphere but choosing not to comment. He knew better than to pry, but even he could tell that whatever was going on between you and Hotch went deeper than the usual tension of a difficult case. “We got what we needed,” Peter said, trying to break the silence. “That’s what matters. Now we can finally put this bastard away.”
Hotch nodded, but his eyes never left yours, and in that moment, it felt like the rest of the room had faded away. It was just the two of you, caught in a silent standoff where neither of you knew how to take the next step. You wanted to say something, anything that would bridge the gap that had formed between you, but the words caught in your throat, tangled with the emotions you’d been trying so hard to keep in check.
The triumph of the confession felt hollow against the weight of what was still left unsaid. You and Hotch had always been able to read each other, but now, standing on opposite sides of this unspoken rift, it was as if the connection you’d relied on had fractured. There was so much you wanted to ask him: why he’d pushed so hard, why he seemed so desperate to prove something today, and why he couldn’t let his guard down, even for a moment. But instead, you just nodded, swallowing back the questions that burned at the back of your throat. “You did what you had to do,” you said, trying to keep your voice steady, though it wavered slightly. “Good work, Hotch.”
Hotch’s gaze softened for a brief second, a flicker of regret or maybe gratitude crossing his features, but it was gone as quickly as it had appeared. “Thanks,” he replied, his voice lower, more personal than before. “We all did.”Peter’s presence was a reminder that you weren’t alone, but it didn’t ease the tension that thrummed between you and Hotch. As Hotch turned to leave, the weight of your argument still hung heavy, unresolved, and painful. You watched him go, the distance between you feeling wider than ever, despite being just a few feet apart.
And as you stood there, with Peter by your side and the echo of Hotch’s footsteps fading down the corridor, you realized that the hardest part of this case wasn’t just about catching a killer, it was about facing the fractures in your own relationships, the ones that no amount of profiling or interrogation could ever fix.
The rhythmic clatter of the train wheels against the tracks was a dull, constant noise that filled the otherwise quiet cabin. You sat alone, your head down and your pen moving steadily across the paper as you filled out your case report. It was a task you’d thrown yourself into, your way of avoiding the one thing you weren’t ready to confront: Hotch.
Hotch sat a few rows behind you, his back to you, mirroring your actions as he worked on his own report with a similar intensity. It was almost poetic how the two of you were so much alike: both of you throwing yourselves into your work to avoid the harder truths, and neither willing to make the first move toward reconciliation.
As you focused on your writing, you heard footsteps approach. You didn’t need to look up to know it was Peter; you’d recognized the casual confidence in his stride from a mile away. He slid into the seat beside you without asking, his presence a familiar and oddly comforting interruption.
Peter glanced at your half-filled report, a faint smile tugging at his lips. “You never could sit still, could you?” he said, his voice soft but laced with a hint of fondness. “Always working, always thinking.”
You tried to muster a smile, but it didn’t quite reach your eyes. “Just trying to get this done before we get back,” you said, your tone evasive. You knew why he’d come over, and you weren’t sure you were ready for the conversation you’d been avoiding since you’d seen him again.
Peter watched you for a moment, his expression shifting from casual to serious. He took a deep breath, glancing at the report before returning his gaze to you. “Y/N,” he began, his voice quieter now, “I’ve been wanting to tell you this since I got back, but I didn’t want to bring it up while we were in the middle of the case.”
You stiffened, knowing exactly what he was going to say but hoping he wouldn’t.
“I’m sorry I couldn’t be there for your dad’s funeral,” Peter said, his voice heavy with regret. “I wanted to be, but I was stuck overseas. I hate that I wasn’t there.”
You clenched your jaw, staring down at the paper in front of you, your pen hovering uselessly above the page. The memories of that day flooded backstanding at the grave, the heavy weight of loss pressing down on your chest, and the overwhelming feeling of being completely and utterly alone. You’d been surrounded by people, but none of them had truly understood, none of them had been him.
“It’s fine, Pete,” you said, though your voice was shaky. “You were doing your job. Besides, it’s not like it would’ve changed anything.”
Peter shook his head, frustration flickering in his eyes. “No, it’s not okay. You were always there for me, even when we were just kids trying to figure out what the hell we were doing with our lives. And I couldn’t even show up when you needed me the most.”
Peter studied you, his eyes searching yours. He could see the cracks you were trying so desperately to hide, the way you were holding yourself together with sheer willpower. “I should have been there,” he insisted gently. “I know how much you went through with him… I remember everything you told me about him.”
A knot formed in your throat as you thought back to your childhood, your father’s relentless work ethic, his unyielding drive for perfection. He had been your hero in so many ways, but he’d also been your downfall. You’d inherited his toxic trait of overworking yourself, the constant need to be better, to be more. It was how you’d coped with the chaos at home, the screaming matches between your parents that had been your daily soundtrack. Your mother, exasperated and exhausted, would often switch languages mid-argument to keep you in the dark, to protect you - or maybe just to exclude you - from the mess they had created.
“I was just a kid, you know?” you said quietly, your voice tinged with bitterness. “All I wanted was to understand why they were always fighting. I started learning every language my mom switched to, Italian, Spanish, anything that would give me a clue, but instead of finding answers, I just… found more reasons to stay away.”
Peter’s eyes softened, a flicker of pain crossing his features as he listened. “You drowned yourself in books, in knowledge, just to escape,” he said, his voice low. “I remember you telling me that once, how you’d sit in those lecture halls at the university, absorbing everything because it was better than being home.”
Your childhood had been filled their voices rising in heated exchanges that always seemed to end in silence, your father retreating to his study to bury himself in more work, and your mother seeking solace in her books. To escape the turbulence at home, you’d thrown yourself into your studies with a fervor that bordered on obsession. You’d devoured literature, philosophy, psychology, anything that could distract you from the reality of your parents’ failing marriage, to gain a semblance of control in a world that often felt chaotic and out of reach.
You had become fluent in the languages they used to hide their pain from you, and in doing so, you became fluent in the art of distancing yourself from your own emotions. The habit of overworking, of pouring yourself into every task with unrelenting focus, was something you had learned from your father, a toxic legacy that you couldn’t quite shake, even now. It had been the source of countless arguments with your mother, who had begged you not to follow in his footsteps, to find balance, to live a life that wasn’t dictated by the demands of work. But it was easier said than done, and as the years went on, you found yourself mirroring his habits more than you cared to admit.
You nodded, swallowing hard against the emotion that threatened to choke you. “I kept pushing myself, kept chasing after something I couldn’t even name. My dad… he always told me that hard work was the only thing that mattered, he never slowed down, never stopped, and neither did I. Even when their marriage fell apart… even when he got sick. I just… I couldn’t stop.”
You hesitated, your eyes welling up with tears that you refused to let fall. “I didn’t even cry at his funeral, I just stood there, feeling nothing. And I haven’t been to visit his grave since.”
Peter gently reached out, guiding your head to rest on his shoulder, tightly hugging you. “It’s okay not to be okay, Y/N,” he murmured. “You don’t have to carry this all on your own. The least I can do is be the shoulder you can lean on.” Peter squeezed your shoulder gently, his eyes filled with compassion. “Your dad was tough, but he loved you, Y/N. And you don’t have to prove anything to him, not anymore. You’re allowed to grieve, to feel lost, to not have all the answers.”
You nodded, blinking back the tears that threatened to spill. “I know. But sometimes it’s hard to remember that.”
Hotch sat just behind you, his back facing yours, he had intended to keep to himself, to give you the space you needed, but the quiet murmurs of your conversation had carried over. He couldn’t help but overhear Peter’s words, and as he listened, a wave of guilt and realization washed over him.
Hotch had always prided himself on his ability to read people, to see through the masks they wore, but he hadn’t seen through yours. He hadn’t seen the pain you’d been hiding, the grief that had been eating away at you just beneath a slim surface. And suddenly, your words from the night before came crashing back: how he didn’t know you, how he’d never bothered to look beyond the professional facade you’d built.
His own mind flickered back to his childhood, the memories of his father’s anger, the violence that lurked behind every door. Hotch had spent years burying and hiding those scars, never letting anyone see how deeply they ran. He had kept it all locked away, just as you had, believing that the only way to survive was to keep moving, to never let the pain catch up.
For the first time, Hotch truly understood why you had lashed out at him. You had seen in him the very thing you feared in yourself: the relentless drive to work, to control, to avoid facing the hurt that lingered beneath. He realized now that you were so much more alike than he had ever imagined, both of you haunted by the ghosts of your pasts, both trying to outrun the pain that always seemed to catch up.
As Hotch stared out the window at the passing scenery, he felt a deep sense of remorse. He wished he had known, wished he had been able to offer you the support you so clearly needed. But all he could do now was hope that you would one day trust him enough to let him in, to share the burdens you had been carrying alone for far too long.
Peter’s voice broke the silence, pulling Hotch from his thoughts. “You’re stronger than you give yourself credit for, you know that? But it’s okay to let someone else be strong for you, too.”
You nodded, wiping away the tears that had finally escaped. “Thanks, Pete. It’s just… it’s hard.”
“I know,” Peter said softly. “But you don’t have to go through it alone.”
Hotch listened to the quiet exchange, the raw honesty between you and Peter striking a chord deep within him. He knew now that he couldn’t keep pretending that everything was fine, that the walls he had built were enough to protect him or you. As the train sped toward Quantico, Hotch made a silent promise to himself: he would do better, he would be better. For you, and for himself.
Because in the end, you both deserved more than just the comfort of solitude. You deserved to be understood, to be seen, and to finally let go of the burdens you had carried for far too long.
Peter on the other hand had always been the kind of friend who could read you like a book, even when you tried to keep the pages closed. And after this emotional confrontation he knew he didn’t have to push further. He could see the exhaustion in your eyes, the way you were holding yourself together by the thinnest thread. So, he did what he always did best, he tried to lift your spirits, if only for a moment.
He leaned back in his seat, studying your expression with a knowing smile. “You know, Y/N, you don’t have to unload everything on me right now. You’re allowed to keep some things to yourself. You don’t owe anyone your pain.” His tone was light, but there was a deep, unspoken understanding beneath it. He knew you were struggling, and he wanted you to know that it was okay to take your time.
You gave him a small, tired smile, grateful for his patience. “I know, Pete. It’s just... hard to talk about. I’ve been so focused on work, it’s easier that way. It’s all I know.”
Peter nodded, his eyes softening with empathy. “I get it. But maybe it’s time to leave work behind, just for a little while. You don’t have to think about everything right now. Start small. Maybe try coming out of your room every once in a while?” He said it with a teasing grin, nudging your shoulder playfully, hoping to coax even the smallest laugh out of you.
You couldn’t help but chuckle, shaking your head at his attempt to lighten the mood. “I know, I’ve been a bit of a hermit lately. I guess it’s easier to just shut myself away.”
Peter’s smile widened, and he leaned closer, his voice dropping to a conspiratorial whisper. “Well, lucky for you, your presence is strictly required at my welcome-back party tonight. The team’s putting it together, and you have no excuses not to come. I already told them you’d be there.”
You groaned, though there was no real annoyance behind it. “Seriously? Peter, I don’t know if I’m up for-”
He cut you off, holding up a hand. “Ah-ah, no excuses. We’ll be back by early afternoon, you’ll have plenty of time to rest, take a shower, and then you’re going to show up and have a good time, even if I have to drag you there myself.”
You rolled your eyes, but his enthusiasm was infectious. There was a warmth in his insistence, a reminder that you weren’t alone and that there was still joy to be found, even in the smallest of moments. “Fine, fine. I’ll be there. But only because you’re the most obnoxiously persistent person I know.”
Peter laughed, giving you a mock bow from his seat. “I’ll take that as a compliment. But seriously, Y/N, it’ll be good to see you outside of the office for once. We all miss you, and I promise, you’ll be glad you came.”
You nodded, feeling a small flicker of anticipation amidst the exhaustion. For the first time in a while, you allowed yourself to look forward to something that wasn’t work, something that didn’t involve endless reports or painful memories. It wasn’t a solution to all your problems, but it was a start—a chance to reconnect with the people who mattered, to take a breath and remember that there was more to life than the shadows that had been chasing you.
As you looked at Peter, his familiar smile reminding you of all the good things you’d shared over the years, you felt a small surge of hope. Maybe tonight wouldn’t be so bad after all.
The train ride back to Quantico had felt endless, but the weight of the unresolved emotions made the journey back to your apartment even more suffocating. Peter’s words lingered, tugging at wounds you hadn’t dared to touch, and Hotch’s distant presence weighed heavily on your mind. The familiar solitude of your apartment was supposed to be comforting, but tonight, it felt more like a reminder of all the things you’d been running from: your grief, your past, and the fragile, fraying connection with the person who had come to mean so much to you.
You dropped your bag onto the floor, letting it fall with a thud that echoed through the empty space. You leaned against the kitchen counter, feeling the cool surface against your palms as you tried to ground yourself. You wanted to cry, but the tears wouldn’t come. It was as if you’d locked them away, buried them beneath layers of duty and distraction.
But then there was a knock at your door, soft and tentative, almost like the person on the other side wasn’t sure they should be there. You hesitated, wiping at your eyes quickly as if to compose yourself, and moved to answer. You half-expected to find Peter, still worried about you after the train ride, or maybe even no one at all, just a mistake. But when you opened the door, it was Hotch who stood before you.
He looked different, more vulnerable and uncertain than you had ever seen him. His usually composed demeanor was frayed, and there was a rawness in his eyes that spoke of sleepless nights and heavy burdens. He stood there awkwardly, clutching the doorframe as if it were the only thing keeping him upright, his face etched with a mixture of hesitation and determination.
For a moment, neither of you spoke, the weight of everything unsaid hanging between you like a fragile thread, one wrong move away from snapping. Hotch looked down, swallowing hard as if searching for the right words. He wasn’t in his usual pristine suit but rather dressed in a simple shirt and jeans, his attire as out of place as the uncertainty written across his face.
“Hotch?” you asked, your voice barely a whisper, tinged with both surprise and concern. “What are you doing here?”
He didn’t answer right away. Instead, he just looked at you, as if he was struggling to find the right words, struggling to let down the walls he had spent a lifetime building. He stepped inside, and you quietly closed the door behind him, your heart pounding as you waited for him to speak. He took a few slow steps into the living room, glancing around as if trying to ground himself in the unfamiliar space.
“I’m sorry,” he finally said, his voice strained and brittle, every word heavy with unspoken pain. “I know this isn’t… I shouldn’t have just shown up like this, but I needed to talk to you. About… about what you said last night, and today on the train. I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to overhear your conversation with Peter.”
This wasn’t the composed, confident man you knew at work, this was Aaron, someone you never got to see, someone who was barely holding it together. “ You were right, Y/N. You were right about everything.”
You stood there, frozen, as his words hit you like a wave. You had never heard Hotch sound so vulnerable, so broken. He was always the strong one, the unshakable agent who never let his guard down, but tonight, he was just Aaron, and he was struggling.
“I’ve spent my whole life trying to keep things separate,” he began, his voice trembling. “I thought if I could just focus on the work, I could ignore everything else—everything that hurt, everything that felt out of my control. But I can’t keep doing that. It’s not who I am, and it’s not who I want to be anymore.”
Hotch’s hands shook as he tried to steady himself, his eyes brimming with emotions he had kept buried for so long. “My father... he was abusive. He was cruel in ways that I can’t even put into words. He’d tear me apart with his words, his fists, anything to remind me that I was never good enough. I grew up in a house that felt more like a battlefield than a home, where silence was never safe and every day was just another fight to survive.”
His voice cracked, and you could see the weight of those memories in his eyes: the fear, the shame, the endless need to be perfect because nothing less would ever be enough for a man who thrived on control. “I tried so hard to protect my mom, my brother, but I was just a kid. There were nights when I’d lie awake, praying he’d leave us alone, praying I’d be strong enough to make it stop. But it never did. And I swore that when I grew up, I’d never be like him. I’d never let anyone see that weakness.”
You listened, your own tears finally breaking free as his pain washed over you. You had never imagined Hotch’s past had been so brutal, so deeply scarred by violence and fear. He had always seemed so put together, so composed, but now, you could see just how much he had been hiding, how much he had been carrying all this time.
“I thought if I kept that part of myself locked away, I’d be able to move on. I thought… I thought if I became Hotch, the profiler, that it would erase all the things he said I’d never be. But it’s just made me more closed off, more afraid to let anyone in. And I’ve been doing it for so long, I don’t even know how to stop.”
He looked at you, his eyes glassy with unshed tears, and you could see the desperation there - the plea for understanding, for forgiveness, for something he couldn’t quite name. “I don’t know how to let people in, Y/N. I don’t know how to not be this… this guarded version of myself. But if I’m going to try, if I’m going to let anyone see me, I want it to be you. Because you were right when you said I don’t know you, but I want to. And you deserve to know me, too—the real me.”
The vulnerability in his voice shattered something inside you, and without thinking, you closed the distance between you and pulled him into a tight, desperate hug. Hotch tensed at first, unaccustomed to such unguarded intimacy, but then his arms wrapped around you, and you could feel him finally letting go. His head bowed against your shoulder, and his entire frame shook with the silent sobs he’d been holding back for too long.
You clung to him, your own tears mingling with his, and in that moment, it felt like the dam you’d both been holding back had finally broken. You were no longer the stoic agents who always had the answers, always kept it together. You were just two people, scarred and hurting, trying to find solace in the only way you knew how: by holding on to each other.
Hotch’s hand moved to the back of your head, his fingers tangling gently in your hair as he held you closer, as if you were the lifeline he had been searching for. He whispered apologies between his tears, his voice cracking with the weight of his regrets. “I’m sorry… I’m so sorry… I didn’t see it. I didn’t see you.”
You shook your head, burying your face into his neck, your tears soaking through his t-shirt as you let out all the grief you’d kept buried: the loss of your father, the unresolved pain of your parents’ broken marriage, the way you had thrown yourself into work to keep from falling apart. You had been running for so long, hiding behind your accomplishments, just like him.
“No, I’m the one who’s sorry, Aaron,” you whispered through your tears, the use of his first name slipping out naturally in this moment of raw honesty. “I had no idea. I was so angry, and I—”
He shook his head, his voice soft but firm as he whispered back, “You don’t have to apologize. You were right… about all of it. I needed to hear it. I needed to face it.”
The two of you stood there for what felt like an eternity, wrapped up in each other’s pain and understanding, the weight of your shared burdens finally feeling just a little bit lighter. There were no perfect words, no easy fixes, but in that embrace, you found something neither of you had expected—comfort, solace, and the beginning of a new kind of trust.
“It’s okay,” you whispered through your tears, clutching him tighter. “You’re here now. That’s all that matters.”
For the first time, it felt like you were truly seen, truly understood, and the relief of it was overwhelming. You didn’t have to pretend anymore, didn’t have to be strong or perfect or put together. You could just be, and he could just be, and that was enough.
Hotch pulled back slightly, your eyes finally met, both of you still teary but no longer hiding. There was a silent understanding there, a promise that from now on, things would be different. “No more walls. No more hiding.” He murmured, his voice shaky but filled with a quiet determination.
You nodded, and for the first time in a long time, you believed it. You didn’t know what the future would hold, but as you held each other in that quiet, tear-stained moment, you knew that you weren’t alone anymore. You had each other, and that was a start. It was messy, and it was painful, but it was real. And in that, you found hope - hope that maybe, together, you could begin to heal. You weren’t just partners in the professional sense anymore; you were something more—two people learning to let each other in, to lean on each other’s strength when your own wasn’t enough. And in that simple, fragile moment, you both knew that whatever came next, you wouldn’t have to face it alone, that your new friend would be right there at your side.
The evening had settled over the city, and the Irish pub next to your apartment block was buzzing with energy. For the first time in what felt like forever, you allowed yourself to feel a glimmer of lightness, excitement bubbling at the thought of spending time with Hotch, Peter, and the rest of your colleagues from the BAU. After everything that had happened, the weight of unresolved emotions had eased, if only slightly, and you found yourself looking forward to reconnecting with your team outside the pressures of the job.
Earlier that afternoon, you’d stopped by a bookstore, the small shop tucked between a row of cafes and boutique stores you often passed but rarely visited. As you browsed the shelves, your eyes fell on a book titled "Hegel for Dummies." It was a perfect, lighthearted gesture, a small symbol of your newfound friendship with Hotch, and a callback to the night you’d spent poring over Frank Lloyd Wright’s designs at the library. You thought that maybe, after his recent dive into architecture, he might take an interest in philosophy too, especially Hegel, one of your favorites. The book felt like a tiny olive branch, a way of letting him into your world a little more, just as he had let you into his the night before.
You imagined him reading it, piecing together Hegel’s ideas on thesis, antithesis, and synthesis, and maybe learning something about you in the process. And who knew? Maybe one day, if you were lucky, he’d hand you one of his favorite books, offering you another glimpse into the parts of himself he rarely showed.
When you walked into the pub, the warm light and chatter were an immediate comfort. You spotted your team at a long wooden table near the back, and to your surprise, you saw Gideon sitting there, crutches leaned against the wall, his leg injury having kept him out of the latest case. Rossi was beside him, the two of them looking as inseparable as ever, trading stories and laughs over pints of beer. It was a sight that immediately lifted your spirits.
“Look who finally made it!” Rossi called out, waving you over. “Come on, we saved you a seat.”
You grinned, making your way through the crowd. “Rossi, Gideon, you two didn’t tell me you’d be here.”
Gideon leaned back, a mischievous glint in his eye. “Well, you didn’t think we’d miss the party, did you? Besides, someone has to make sure Peter doesn’t get too full of himself.”
Peter shot you a wink, raising his glass in greeting. “They’re just here to bask in my glory, Y/N. But don’t let them fool you, they’ve been talking about you all night.”
You rolled your eyes, laughing as you took a seat between Gideon and Peter. “I’m sure they have. So, what did I miss?”
Before anyone could answer, Hotch walked in, his presence as commanding as ever, though there was a new softness in his eyes when he spotted you. You exchanged a smile, a silent acknowledgment of the night before, and of the steps you were both taking toward something new, something vulnerable.
“Hotch!” Rossi greeted, patting the empty seat beside him. “Come sit, we’re debating where Peter’s new desk should be. Since Y/N’s parked herself at his old one, we might need to reshuffle the whole bullpen.”
Hotch took his seat, glancing at you with a teasing smile. “I think she’s gotten too comfortable. I doubt she’s giving it up.”
Peter leaned in closer to you, his voice low and conspiratorial whispering into your ear “Wanna make a bet?” he asked, his eyes twinkling with mischief. “See that woman behind Hotch’s shoulder? If she doesn’t come talk to him, you get to keep your desk.”
You eyed the woman briefly, noticing her casual yet elegant demeanor, but she seemed engrossed in her own conversation. Hotch was engaged in a discussion with Rossi, showing no sign of noticing her. You were confident this would be an easy win, especially given Hotch’s typically reserved nature. “Alright,” you said, turning back to Peter. “And what do you get if you win?”
Peter’s grin widened, the playful edge in his voice unmistakable. “A date. With you.”
The unexpected proposition caught you off guard, and for a moment, you felt your cheeks warm. You glanced at him, trying to gauge if he was serious, but his expression remained light, teasing. You brushed it off with a laugh, pretending he was just messing with you. “Okay, you’re on.”
But no sooner had you accepted the bet than the woman, as if she had somehow overheard your conversation, moved toward Hotch with an expression of surprise. You watched in stunned silence as she approached, her voice soft and familiar. “Aaron? What were the odds?”
Your heart sank as Hotch’s face lit up, a rare and genuine smile crossing his features, his cheeks flushed slightly, and there was a familiarity between them that made your chest tighten. You felt Peter nudge you, his voice breaking through the shock. “Looks like you owe me a date.”
You barely registered his words, too fixated on the interaction unfolding in front of you. Hotch returned to the table with the woman by his side, her presence seeming to fill the room in a way that made you feel suddenly small and out of place. Hotch’s voice cut through the noise, introducing her with a casualness that belied the weight of the moment. “Everyone, this is Haley.”
You barely managed to hold your composure, the pieces of this unexpected puzzle falling into place as you processed Hotch’s flushed expression and the warmth in his eyes when he looked at her. This wasn’t just anyone, this was someone from his past, someone who clearly was very close and definitely had shared some sort of romantic history with him. The bitter thoughts stung more than you wanted to admit.
Before you could say anything, Gideon, ever the observant one, leaned over, catching sight of the corner of a book sticking out of your open purse. “Hegel for Dummies?” he asked with a raised eyebrow, amusement flickering in his voice as he picked it up to inspect.
You nodded, still too stunned to fully engage, your mind elsewhere. “Yeah. It’s… it’s just a little joke,” you managed, though the words felt hollow in the moment.
Gideon smiled knowingly, his eyes shifting between you and Hotch. “Thesis, antithesis, and synthesis,” he mused, almost as if he were speaking to himself but loud enough for you to hear. “Funny how life always seems to come back to that, doesn’t it?”
The words hung heavy in the air, and as you sat there, watching Hotch interact with Haley, you couldn’t help but feel the truth in them. Life was messy, a constant push and pull of opposing forces, and you were caught in the middle of it, trying to make sense of what it all meant.
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shuadotcom · 1 year ago
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Room with a View (M)
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🩸Pairing: Vampire!Kim Mingyu x Human fem!Reader x Vampire!Jeon Jungkook
🩸Summary: “Yes, they clearly want in your pants, but at least Mingyu wasn’t lying about a much better view.”
🩸Genres & AUs: Smut, supernatural au, vampire au, pwp
🩸Rating: 18+ (MINORS & AGELESS BLOGS DNI. YOU WILL BE BLOCKED)
🩸Words: 6.3k
🩸Warnings: Mention of alcohol, profanity, mentions of blood, shameless Mean Girls references
🩸Smut warnings: Threesome, vampire kink ig, oral (f & m receiving), semi-public sex, window sex, fingering, anal fingering (f receiving), biting, marking, dirty talk, pet names (baby, little mouse), unprotected sex (vampires can’t impregnate humans in this world bc i said so!) rough sex, double penetration, using cum as lube
🩸Note: For @kpopsblackcreatorsociety 's Blood & Bane event! Vampire Prompt: “Did you just fucking bite me?!”
This AMAZING banner is by my bby @playmetheclassics / @classicscreations and beta’d by my other bby @the-boy-meets-evil! A million smooches for you both!! 😙❤️ Oh and tagging the lovely @gyuwoncheol ❤️
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“I’m a mouse, duh!” You’ve had to clarify that at least ten times tonight, much to your displeasure. You assumed that the black nightie, silver calf-high boots, and mouse ears would make your costume obvious, but so far, it’s seemed that everyone you’ve run into at this party either has never seen Mean Girls or doesn’t remember it. It’s a tragedy, truly.
It doesn’t help that most of your time at this party has been spent with just you by yourself. When only one of the four parts of a group costume is together, the whole idea doesn’t make the same impact. But, Jihyo and Jeongyeon, the Regina George and Grethen Wieners of your quartet in that order, disappeared together fifteen minutes after arriving. They’re likely hooking up in a room somewhere, still trying to hide from you and Sana that they’re dating. That’s added to the fact that Sana, the Cady Heron of the group, is spending time with the busy boyfriend she hasn’t seen in weeks. They had offered to let you hang out with them, but the last thing you wanted to be was a third-wheel.
That leaves just you, lingering by the back door with the same wine cooler you’ve been nursing for the last hour. 
You don’t know many people here except for the host, Dongmin, and a few of your co-workers you’ve recognized, but aren’t close with. He’s the sweet, wealthy vice president at the new company you work at who always goes out of his way to greet you when he sees you in the office.
You’ve only spoken to him a handful of times at the few company events you’ve been to and during shared elevator rides, so you were surprised when he invited you to his annual Halloween party, but you wouldn’t dream of turning him down. You also knew he had a good amount of money, what with the company doing so well, but you had no idea he was this well-off. 
His house has two floors and all of the rooms are spacious, bustling with people in Halloween costumes, dancing, talking, and knocking back drinks. Once you look past all of the partygoers, the view from the backdoor looks out at the city, all the lights in the distance looking magical from where the house sits on a hill in the nice, suburban part of town.
The view is honestly the most interesting part about tonight. You typically love Halloween, but this is the first party you’ve been to in a few years, plus you’re not friends with anyone else other than the three girls you came with. So far, this Halloween has been extremely uneventful.
“Karen Smith from Mean Girls, right? You’re a mouse?” A male voice you don’t recognize catches you off guard as you spin to see who it is.
To say you’re breathless at the sheer presence of the two men you come face-to-face with would be an understatement. They’re both tall and buff-looking - buff in the way that has your stomach doing flips. They’re clad in all denim outfits, their white shirts hugging each muscle underneath the cotton. Cowboy hats and boots complete their costumes, so you can easily deduce what they’re supposed to be. The man who you assume is the one who speaks is closest to you, smiling at you, pretty lips decorated with double lip rings.
They’re beautiful in the most stunning of ways that makes them not even seem real.
When you finally get a grip on yourself, you clear your throat, plastering on a smile. “Finally, someone at this party with taste! You’d be surprised how many people here have never seen Mean Girls.”
“A lot of people at this party aren’t much fun so that makes sense,” The other man speaks, rolling his eyes before fixing you with a look that appears as what you can only describe as hungry. “Speaking of, we haven’t seen you at one of Dongmin’s parties before.”
“Oh, yeah this is my friends and my first time here. Dongmin and I have worked at the same company for a few months. He invited me and as many people as I wanted to bring.”
“Remind us to thank Dongmin for that when we see him next,” Liprings smiles at you again, eyes sweeping over you from head to toe and you can feel the hairs on your arm stand on end under his appraisal. “I’m Jungkook, by the way.”
“And I’m Mingyu,” Both men reach for your hands, each of them placing a kiss on them. The gesture is cheesy, but it still makes your skin heat up, cheeks burning as they gently let your hands go.
“I-I’m Y/n.” Forcing out a nervous laugh, you glance at their hat and boots and attempt to pivot the conversation. It’s not as though you didn’t want the attention they’re so clearly giving you, but you’ve never had men that looked this good so blatantly ogling you. Especially not two at the same time. You’re one more flirtatious look away from giggling like a schoolgirl in front of them.
“You know, just putting on cowboy boots and hats doesn’t make you cowboys.”
“And just wearing a headband doesn’t make you a mouse.” Jungkook fires back, grinning at you. Touché.
“You said you and your friends - where are they?” Mingyu asks, eyes sweeping the room. 
“They’re all with their significant others.” You shrug, not trying to sound bitter. You’re happy for your friends, truly you are - you’re just reminded of how alone you are right now.
“Aw, well we’ll keep you company, little mouse,” Mingyu winks at you and the way you feel your thighs clench together at his words is utterly embarrassing. You’re almost mortified with yourself when you watch as both he and Jungkook glance down at your exposed thighs, noticing the gesture. That mortification is quickly washed away when Jungkook bites his lip and Mingyu’s smile grows. 
All of a sudden, you’re acutely aware that it’s just you and two of the most handsome men you’ve ever been around. Face to face. There are plenty of people buzzing around you, but none of them are paying your trio any mind. Your heart races at this thought, glancing back out the window at the view into the backyard again.
“Everything okay, Y/n?” Jungkook’s voice is closer than you expect as he sidles up to your left, Mingyu moving to stand to your right.
“Yeah, of course, why do you ask?”
“You just seem nervous is all.”
“Nervous? I’m not nervous. I’m just…distracted. The, uh, the view of the city! It’s just so pretty. I’ve been admiring it all night.”
“Hmm. This is a really nice view,” Jungkook agrees.
“I know where you can see an even better view,” Mingyu adds, drawing both your and Jungkook’s attention to him.
“You do?”
“Yeah. We’re super close to Dongmin and we’ve been here a million times. He has a room upstairs that faces out to the backyard, but it’s a much better view than this. Wanna go check it out?”
You’d have to be an idiot not to guess where this was going and what else he intended with his words. He waits patiently, smiling at you and letting you think it over. A glance over your shoulder at Jungkook shows that he’s also waiting, eyes shifting to gaze outside while you think. Two hot guys basically tell you that they want to take you upstairs and hook up with you. It’s not the exact type of excitement you were looking for on Halloween, but it’s excitement nonetheless. 
“Sure, let’s go. I’ll text my friends.”
“Perfect.” They wait for you to send a quick text to the group chat, letting the girls know who you’re going upstairs with and you see someone sends back a winky face emoji before you slip your phone in the clutch on your wrist. 
Mingyu has you follow him out of the kitchen and through the crowd to the stairs with Jungkook behind you, his hand hovering over your lower back as he follows. When you reach the top of the stairs, Mingyu leads you to the left, down a hallway, and into a room at the end of the hall.
As soon as you step in, you see the wrap-around windows spanning the length of the wall in front of you. The curtains are all drawn and the expanse of the starry night is laid out so clearly. This room is in the corner of the house, but still faces the back, so you can see into the backyard and well across to the city skyline.
Yes, they clearly want in your pants, but at least Mingyu wasn’t lying about a much better view.
As if reading your mind the man in question chuckles, gesturing to the view. “I was right, wasn’t I?”
“Yeah, yeah you were,” you wave at him, feeling flirty and brave enough to throw him a wink as you beeline straight for the window. The glass is clean enough that you can just make out your reflection. 
“Why are you so attached to looking outside?” Jungkook questions from your left. When you turn to find him, he’s lounging in a plush chair that sits near the foot of the luxurious bed.
“I can just appreciate a good view is all.”
“So can I,” Jungkook’s voice is so confident when he says it. He’s likely used that same line a million times before and it’s worked.
You refuse to admit it works on you too. 
“Smooth,” you still can’t help but roll your eyes. “This view is honestly just the most interesting thing I’ve looked at all night.” 
A big, firm, body presses into your back, your breath catching in surprise. You hadn’t even heard Mingyu approach.
“Oh yeah? That’s the most interesting thing you’ve seen all night?” His voice is low as he speaks against your ear, this close to making your knees weak.
“Mmhmm. Haven’t really been given much else to look at,” you hope neither of them can hear how your voice trembles as Mingyu runs his hands down your arms, pressing his body against you more. He has you so close to the glass you need to raise your hands to stop yourself from becoming flush against it. 
“Is that so?” Mingyu’s hands are soft as he brushes the edge of your lingerie, his fingertips grazing your bare thighs that the hem hangs above. His hands are colder than you thought they’d be, but the chill is welcome on your blazing skin.
“I guess I need something more interesting to look at.” Your eyes shift up in an attempt to meet his in the reflection of the glass but…all you see is yourself and nothing else? “Mingy-oh!,” your last word is clipped when Mingyu steps back and takes hold of your hips to pull you a little ways away from the window. Immediately after, he pushes you forward to bend at the waist. Your hands press against the glass again, this time to keep you from toppling forward onto your face.
“Be careful, baby.”
“Wh - sh-shit!” Your question dies on your lips when you feel Mingyu spread your plush thighs and presses his face against your exposed pussy, his tongue prodding at the fabric of your panties to push both into your wet hole.
“You can look at your reflection while I eat you out. I’m sure the face you make when you cum all over my tongue will be interesting enough.”
“Oh, or how about all those partygoers outside in the backyard? Isn’t it just so interesting how if anyone looked up and stared long enough, they’d see you bent over with your tits falling out?” Jungkook’s tone is so aggravatingly teasing, but he’s right. 
There are quite a few people stationed and talking around the yard. If someone truly wanted to, it would be pretty easy to see what’s going on in the room. The thought sends fear and another wave of arousal throughout you. 
“Mm, I think she likes that thought, JK. She got so much wetter.” 
“So dirty, little mouse.” 
“I - fuck!” It’s frustrating how Mingyu keeps touching you in all the right ways, his movements constantly scrambling your brain and derailing your train of thought.
His fingers push your panties to the side and his mouth immediately latches onto your clit, sucking a few times before his tongue eases into your entrance, the intrusion pushing out an unabashed moan from your chest.
Your fingers scramble to grip the glass, only to slide with a squeak as Mingyu laps at you as far as his tongue can reach. Your hips begin rolling against his face as he works at you, the need to cum dangling dangerously close. 
There have been plenty of other times you’ve let someone eat you out, but nothing can compare to the way this beautiful stranger plunges his tongue into your dripping hole, the obscene slurping sounds he makes are the only sound ringing in your ears other than your desperate whines.
“God, you look so good like this, little mouse. Your legs are trembling.” Jungkook’s voice cuts through the haze clouding your brain. “Can’t wait to get my hands on you.”
“What are you w-waiting for, then?” You attempt to sound confident and sexy, but your words are more whiny than anything. Even so, you hear Jungkook chuckle before the sound of him getting out of the chair and making his way over you catches your attention. He’s taken his denim jacket off at some point and you practically drool at the sight of his fitting white t-shirt and tattoo-decorated arm on display. 
He raises one of his hands, trailing it over your back and down to your ass. Mingyu already pushed your nightie up enough to get access to you, but Jungkook bunches it up all the way, the delicate fabric resting above your ass to give him access. He brings his hand down once, landing a spank on one of your cheeks.
Electricity surges through your body at the sting and you jump. Your hips respond by pushing back, obviously begging both men for more.
From behind you, Mingyu grunts, and, as if answering your wordless request, you feel his finger ease into your entrance, replacing his tongue. He’s still cold and you let out a yelp at the temperature, but you easily melt into him as his digit plunges into your heat.
Jungkook is still standing next to you, chuckling at the way you writhe, even bending over a little more.
“Asking to be spanked again, baby?” He hums, cold hand caressing your ass. 
“Yes, please!” Your knees are so, so close to giving out as you can feel your orgasm creeping up closer and closer. Mingyu’s finger keeps working at you and he soon adds a second. Heart hammering against your chest, you rest your forehead against the cold glass, nearly ready to collapse at the pleasure.
“Alright, well now you gotta share, Gyu,” Jungkook’s voice reminds his friend before he grabs at you to stand you upright. 
Mingyu, still on the floor, makes a displeased sound, frowning up at his friend.
“Yeah, yeah. You can still eat her out, but I want her mouth. Is that alright with you, little mouse?”
“Hell yes, it is,” you breathe out, still trying to right yourself after Mingyu’s assault on your pussy.
Jungkook smiles at you, and it takes your breath away in another way. How the fuck were you so lucky to end up here like this with men who looked this good?
With his hand holding yours, he leads you to the bed, Mingyu trailing behind as his fingers graze any part of your skin he can reach. Once you reach the bed, both men work together in lifting your nightie over your head and slowly peeling away your bra and panties, leaving kisses over your newly exposed skin. 
The three of you are a flurry of hands as you tug on the hem of Jungkook’s shirt with one hand while reaching behind your back to find the button on Mingyu’s jeans. 
When you’re finally naked, (save for your mouse ears which both men beg you to leave on), Mingyu spins you around and leans down to pull you into a kiss. His lips are impossibly soft as you melt into him, his tongue poking out to brush against your bottom lip a few times. You open for him immediately, allowing the man to wrap his tongue around yours before sucking the muscle into his mouth. 
Tiny mewls slip out of you, getting swallowed by Mingyu as he kisses you hard enough to bruise you, letting you taste yourself on him. Jungkook’s hands skate over your hips, your stomach, and up to your breasts. He rolls your nipples between his fingers, tugging on the buds as his teeth graze your shoulders and neck. Mingyu continues to muffle every sound you make, and one hand, the one not currently cradling the back of your head, snakes down, down, down until he dips a finger between your thighs. He’s met with your wetness, already coating the tops of your inner thighs. 
Your eyelids flutter as both sets of hands hold you, your arousal building with every tweak and every poke.
A different kind of poke on your neck makes you yelp though, flinching your head back from Mingyu to try and get a look at Jungkook.
“Did you just fucking bite me?!”
The tattooed man chuckles and cocks his head at you, amused at your reaction.
“Sorry, I guess I should’ve asked if you’re into that?”
“I am, I was just surprised. Your teeth are sharp.” You don’t mind marking and being bitten, but it’s never been almost painful when past partners have done it. 
Although truth be told, you didn’t mind one bit that it hurt.
He pouts at you, apologizing but still asking if you’re sure you’re okay with it. You promise you are and that’s all Jungkook needs to spin you around and crash his lips into yours. The chill of his lip rings is as cold as his lips, but just like every other chilled part of both him and Mingyu, you don’t mind at all.
Jungkook’s kisses are messier than Mingyu’s, his tongue immediately diving into your mouth to lap at every part of you. He alternates between making out with you as if his life depended on it and nibbling at your bottom lip, his teeth catching on the swollen skin now and again. It’s Mingyu’s turn to lavish your shoulders and neck with attention as he too sucks and nips at your skin, his teeth pricking your hot skin as he goes.
He leaves you panting when he finally lets you up for air and you can practically feel your arousal dripping down your thighs from the dual sensations.
“Your lips are fucking amazing,” Jungkook grumbles, dark eyes fixing you with a look that has you swooning. “I wanna feel them on my dick now,” 
You nod eagerly, likely resembling a bobblehead, and he and Mingyu both laugh at your eagerness. They help you get comfortable on the bed, having you kneel across it on all fours. Jungkook takes his position in front of you, his cock hard and already leaking precum. Mingyu shuffles on the bed behind you, running his hands over your ass, and you instinctively arch for him.
“Such a pretty pussy,” he hums, swiping his finger through your wetness and you hear him suck it into his mouth behind you. “And you taste even better.”
“Hey, you need to share, remember? I wanna taste,” Jungkook pouts at Mingyu over your shoulder and you feel Mingyu’s hand between your thighs again, gathering more of you, and this time, he reaches forward and offers his finger to Jungkook. The man in front of you cranes his neck forward to suck his friend's finger into his mouth, hollowing his cheeks for a moment before letting go with a ‘pop.’ 
Jungkook flashes a sly smile, licking his lips as he looks down at you. “Gyu is right. You’re absolutely delectable, little mouse. I’ll have to taste it straight from the source some other time.” 
The gears in your brain work overtime, registering that he’s alluded to there being a next time for the three of you. 
Mingyu’s tongue is diving into your cunt again which derails any other train of thought. Your mouth hangs open, a moan tumbling out in response. Jungkook uses that opportunity to tap the head of his cock against your bottom lip.
“This okay, baby?” He asks. When you let out an affirmative noise, he eases it into your mouth and you eagerly wrap your lips around it.
Jungkook’s cock isn’t extraordinarily long, but it’s thick, the girth stretching out the corners of your mouth the more he pushes in. When you almost get all of him in, he takes a moment, giving you time. When he feels you relax your jaw and sees you look up at him through your lashes, he starts to move his hips, helping you bob your head over his dick. 
His fingers weave into your hair, making sure not to disturb your mouse ears, gripping the strands at the base as he slowly rolls his hips into your face. You close your eyes, both to concentrate on taking him and to relish in the frantic way that Mingyu laps at your folds. He grunts into you with each swipe of his tongue and you can feel each deep vibration that slips out. 
You can feel your earlier orgasm creeping up again with each flick of Mingyu’s tongue. When he reaches under you to run his finger over your clit, the heat in the pit of your stomach gets hotter, bubbling up and spreading through your veins.
Unable to help yourself, you push your hips back into his face chasing your high. Jungkook’s cock is heavy and your tongue, his pace quickening too. His fingers tug at your hair harder than when he started. Each time he surges forward, the tip of his dick just barely hits the back of your throat, but it’s still enough to have you choking.
Drool starts to pool in the corners of your mouth as you cry out around his length, finally toppling over the edge as you cum. Your words are garbled and you have to anchor yourself to not fall fast forward into Jungkook’s crotch.
“Shit, yes baby like that. Cum all over Gyu’s face and take my cock. So good,” Jungkook’s words sound far away. Your brain is foggy, but you still clench around Mingyu’s enthusiastic tongue as he cleans you up.
When Mingyu finally pulls back you’re still whimpering around Jungkook and he’s switched to shallow thrusts, his cock dragging almost lazily against your tongue.
“Fuck, little mouse. I think I might be addicted to your delicious little cunt now.” Mingyu punctuated his words with a light smack to your still throbbing pussy, making you jolt. 
“Her mouth is a fucking dream too. She looks so pretty with it full. We’re so lucky to have found you, baby.”
“So lucky,” Mingyu agrees. You attempt to nod, trying your best to agree with them because you also feel incredibly lucky tonight. You’d gone from lamenting about being a third wheel in the awkward, almost lonely ways, to being the third wheel in a threesome with two beautiful men. Lucky indeed.
“Gonna let us get even luckier, baby?” Jungkook’s finger settles under your chin, tilting your head up just a bit to look down at you. “Gonna let us fuck you?”
This time you pull away, letting his cock fall out and giving you a chance to rest your jaw.
“God yes. I need more,” your voice is a little scratchy but still needy.
“Good girl. Who do you want first?” Mingyu rasps in your ear, his lips brushing over the shell of your ear.
“Both of you.” 
“Oh? You hear that, Gyu? She wants us both.”
“Fuck, you’re so goddamn dirty, baby. Sure you can take us both?” Mingyu presses his length against your asscheeks, letting you feel just how big he is.
“I can do it. Just prep me real good?” Casting a look over your shoulder, you meet Mingyu’s eyes, batting your lashes at him, wearing your best pleading face.
His expression darkens, smirking at you as his eyes sweep over your back, fixing on your ass before meeting your eyes again. “I’ll take care of you, little mouse, don’t worry.”
Mingyu peppers your cheeks with kisses while his finger swipes through your wetness again. He slowly spreads your cheeks, and a glob of spit hits your puckered hole followed by the tip of his finger prodding you. 
You wince when he slips in, moving oh so slowly until he’s one knuckle deep. Jungkook’s hand still under your chin turns your head to face forward and redirects your attention back to him. 
“Lemme distract you,” he taps the tip of his dick against your lips and you open immediately, almost greedy to take him in again. It’s easy for him to set a pace; each push of his hips forward pushes you back against Mingyu’s finger. They easily find a rhythm and Jungkook tugs on your hair, moaning loudly above you. 
Listening to his melodic voice making these breathy exhales for you - because of you - serves to make you wet all over again and determined to make him cum. He’s still guiding your head, but you curve your tongue, letting it wrap under his cock, gliding along a thick vein on the underside. 
“Fuck, Y/n. Keep doing that,”
So you do, hollowing your cheeks for good measure to make the inside of your mouth feel tighter around him. You’re moaning around his length as Mingyu slips a second finger into you, scissoring his fingers as he gets both digits in you.
“Look at you, little mouse. Taking my fingers and Jungkookie’s cock so well. I just know you’ll take both of us so good when we fill you up,” Mingyu’s words make you clench around nothing, but he feels the way your body tenses up and he chuckles at you. He lands a sharp smack on your ass, pushing a muffled shriek out of you. 
You get lost in the slide of Jungkook’s dick down your throat and the stretch of Mingyu’s fingers in you. It isn’t very long until you’re fucking back against his fingers. Jungkook’s grunts are getting more high-pitched and frantic, curses falling from his lips.
“Yeah, yeah, fuck. I’m - fuck!” Jungkook pulls his cock from your mouth, leaning back and gliding his hand over his length at light speed. 
When he cums he makes sure he’s angled towards him, so the sticky liquid spurts onto his chest and hand. You watch in awe as he tugs at himself a few times. His eyes are closed as he swipes his fingers through the mess on his skin and rubs it over his still-hard dick, sighing as squelching echoes in your ears.
“You doing okay, little mouse?” Mingyu’s voice cuts through to you and you finally manage to nod.
“Good. Come’re,” Mingyu’s fingers slip out of you and his hands wrap around your ankles and slide you down the bed, flipping you onto your back in one swift motion. “Legs and arms, wrap them around me.” He helps you loop your arms around his neck and you do your best to lock your legs around his waist. 
You expect to stay splayed out on your back, but he has other ideas as he picks you up with ease, as if you weigh absolutely nothing and you’ll be damned if it isn’t one of the hottest things that’s happened tonight.
Mingyu’s mouth is on yours again as his hands grip your ass, keeping you up and close to his body. He moves you both across the room, his back leaning against one of the large windows. One of your hands grips his shoulder while the other cards through his dark locks.
A second set of hands ghosts over your shoulders and back followed by Jungkook’s lips, his teeth grazing your skin between kisses. 
“Gonna let us fuck you at the same time, little mouse?” Jungkook speaks next to your ear, biting your lobe.
“I would if you’d hurry up,” you mumble, now laying your head back on Jungkook’s shoulder as Mingyu licks up the column of your throat, biting your collarbone hard enough to make you yelp. 
“So impatient, baby,” he murmurs against your skin. “But I guess we should give her what she wants, JK.”
“Guess so, Gyu,” 
Mingyu leaves a final kiss on the mark he’s left on your collarbone and adjusts you in his hold. He lifts you a little, quite effortlessly at that, and begins sliding you down in his length. Mingyu’s cock is long - long and thick enough that you feel full before he’s even halfway in, but you take it, gnawing at your lip as he enters you inch by inch.
Once he’s completely sheathed inside of you, you two lock eyes, the dark glint unmistakable. He gives a few shallow thrusts, already making you pant in his grasp.
“My turn, baby,” Jungkook says, reminding you that you’re only halfway done.
You crane your neck to the side to look down, and you watch Jungkook stroke himself a few times, using his cum to get himself as slick as possible for you, spitting into his hand for extra help. Mingyu tips you forward, your head resting on his shoulder as he spreads your cheeks for Jungkook. 
You ignore the fact that when you look at your reflection in the window, yours is the only one you see, clinging naked around seemingly nothing.
The nudge of Jungkook’s thick cockhead against your rim makes you gasp. He slides in much slower than Mingyu, letting your walls accommodate him at a much gentler pace. When he finally bottoms out, your head is spinning at the sensation of being packed to the absolute brim. Neither men say anything as you get used to them, using the opportunity to litter any skin they can reach with their mouths with bites, sucking more marks into you. 
When you’re finally ready, you wriggle in Mingyu’s hold, attempting to pivot your hip to get them to move.
“Mm, you ready, baby?” Mingyu whispers, running his tongue along your jaw.
“Yes, please. Fuck me,” 
“Since you asked so nicely…” Jungkook laughs, his hands now holding onto your ass while Mingyu wraps his arms around your waist.
Both men take a millisecond to adjust and that’s truly all they need before they both thrust into you, drawing a long, gasp of breath out of you. Mingyu snaps his hips forward, using the window behind him as momentum to fuck into you. It pushes you back down into Jungkook who’s glued to your back. 
They fuck you roughly, see-sawing you back and forth on their cocks, their grips on your flesh never loosening. You cry out each time, babbling out what sounds to you like their names surrounded by nonsense.
Mingyu’s gaze stays locked on your face, occasionally trailing over the rest of you, practically growling with each powerful thrust. 
“Look at you. Taking two cocks so well. You’re so good for us, little mouse.” Each word is punctuated with even more power behind his movements, drawing a whimper out of you each time.
“So good. Letting me into this tight little ass. Fuck you’re squeezing me so much, baby.” Jungkook’s comments are also followed by thrusts that take your breath away, his balls slapping against the back of your thighs each time.
You feel a million miles away from your body as these beautiful men with their big dicks stuff you full. You can feel every vein and every ridge battering and rubbing against your spongy walls and you clench with each thrust in, your second orgasm rushing to the forefront.
At some point, you think you black out, but that could just be the pleasure. The only thing you see is Mingyu smiling salaciously at you, sharp teeth on display, and half-lidded eyes drinking you in. The only thing you hear is Jungkook growling in your ear, praising how good you are for them and how fucking amazing you are. 
The only thing you feel - well you feel everything. The way they stretch you out, the way their fingers and blunt nails press bruises and half-moon marks into your skin. You feel the scrape of their teeth when they bite at you and it’d be a lie to say you didn’t want them to bite you a little harder.
“Look at our little mouse, JK. She’s so pretty and so fucked out.” Mingyu moves a hand up to grip your chin and tilts your head back to rest on Jungkook’s shoulder.
“Shit, look at you, baby. So cockdrunk for us. You gonna cum?” You think you say words, but maybe it’s more of affirmative sounding noises.
Somehow, someone’s hand - you’re not sure who - reaches between your legs to rub your clit. You’re so fucking full and so fucking wet that it only takes a few rubs at your bundle of nerves to have you cumming with a scream that sounds much too loud to your ears.
Every inch of you is red hot and in flames as your throat dries up and your eyelids sag and that’s when you feel it: the sharp, piercing feeling of being bitten. Hard. One on your shoulder from behind and one on the opposite side of your neck. Your eyes fly open and all you see is Mingyu's dark head of hair. Somewhere in the room, along with the wet, slapping, sounds of them drilling into you, you hear slurping. The slurping of your blood in the mouths of these men that you now know for sure are not just men.
They’re drinking your fucking blood.
And that realization alone has you falling apart again, your mouth falling open in a silent scream, body twitching in their holds.
“Fuck - fuck! Gonna stuff you so fucking full, baby!” Mingyu removes his mouth from your neck, shooting his load into you first, the sensation making you groan out, albeit weakly. 
Jungkook tumbles over the edge right after him, his sticky seed coating your insides, dripping out, and sliding down your cheeks.
You’re still reeling from what is likely the most powerful orgasm you’ve ever experienced, body sagging, feeling completely boneless.
“Did you cum again after we drank from you?” Jungkook mumbles as they slide out of you, still keeping you in their arms.
“Mmhmm,” is all you can manage, eyelids fluttering, fighting to stay open.
“Fuck. You really are perfect, baby. We gotta keep her, Gyu.” 
Mingyu chuckles, finally setting you on the bed, and letting you flop onto the comforter. 
“Yeah, I think we might have to. Would you like that, little mouse? Wanna be ours?” 
“Mmhmm…” You think you have something else to say, but instead, you finally lose the battle to exhaustion, your eyes sliding closed and sleep taking hold of you.
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“Y/n? Hey, Y/n?” 
The sound of your name jerks you awake, and your eyes shoot open to take in your surroundings. 
Sana’s face is peering down at you when you finally focus, concern etched into her features.
“Huh?”
“You’re up! We were getting a little worried, you’ve been sleeping for a while. Feeling okay?”
You sit up slowly, your head feeling groggy as you take in your surroundings. You’re on your couch in your apartment. You can see Jihyo in the kitchen staring at you looking concerned too. In the distance a toilet flushes and you assume it’s Jeongyeon.
“I’m fine,” you finally say. “Why are we at my apartment?”
“Well, your boyfriends texted us that we should take you home because you were so exhausted you passed out. They carried you out to the car and everything. Very gentlemanly.”
“By the looks of those marks, I think they treated you the opposite of gentlemanly in the bedroom?” Jeongyeon eyes your neck as she enters the room wiggling her eyebrows.
When you glance down, you see what she means. Your chest and what you see of your shoulders are covered in bruises. When you touch your neck you feel two small punctures in the skin and you flush from head to toe. You had almost wondered if you dreamt about the whole encounter with Mingyu and Jungkook, but you hadn’t.
“Oh, yeah. They definitely weren’t gentle,” you can’t but help giggle at the memory of the night you’ve had. The ache between your legs and your cheeks is also a stark reminder.
Your friends don’t say anything about where either Mingyu or Jungkook went when they left you in their care, but they wouldn’t just disappear, right? They said they wanted to keep you which means something, you’d like to think.
Lucky for you, it’s not something you have to ponder for long. As you’re settling into bed for the night, your phone vibrates with a text from an unknown number. 
When you go to your messages you see a group chat with you and two other people. Opening it rewards you with an image - two familiar-looking mouths smiling widely. You can only see from their noses down to their chins, but both grins show off very pointy canines, one mouth decorated with two lip rings. 
You’re trying to rack your brain as to what to respond with - it’s not like you could have anticipated that being bitten by actual fucking vampires would be so damn hot.
A text from the other number comes in a minute after the picture.
Good night, little mouse. Let us know when and where we can see you again. 😉
You start to type, then erase the message three times, unsure of how desperate you want to sound. 
Then you decide, fuck it. It’s obvious they want you just as much as you want them, so who cares if you sound desperate? 
So, you keep it short and sweet.
Whenever and wherever you want. Duh.
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Net tags: @kflixnet @kbookshelf
I’ve wanted to write a Mingyu/Jungkook threesome since they did that live together that one time. And then the 3D challenge happened and my brain said NOWNOWNOW so here we are!
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littleslaywrites · 3 days ago
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i saw mommy kissing santa claus | aaron hotchner x reader
summary: you set up the house on christmas eve with aaron after jack has gone to bed
word count: 0.8k
cw: fluff, implication that santa isn’t real
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The radio was quietly playing Christmas songs, low enough to not wake Jack, but turned up so you didn’t drift off to sleep. It was Christmas Eve, and Aaron and you were staying up to get the place ready for tomorrow morning.
You’d moved in during January, the lease on your old apartment ending with the new year. Even though you had been dating Aaron for a few years, you were hesitant to take the step into his home. However, Jack had asked you one day if you’d ever have a “forever sleepover”, and it was enough to convince Aaron to ask you to move in.
The two of you had celebrated Christmases in the past, but you’d always shown up in the morning. Aaron had prepared alone in the past, but now you were there to make the house suitable for tomorrow morning.
“I’ll get the gifts from the closet,” Aaron says, disappearing into your room. You transfer the ham for tomorrow’s dinner into the fridge to let it thaw as he places the gifts from “Santa” under the tree. You join him, arranging the presents into an organized pile. 
Aaron and you had spent hours shopping, trying to find the perfect gifts for Jack. It was difficult, as it required finding time where the two of you were free and someone could watch Jack. You ended up exchanging with JJ, watching Henry as she shopped, and her watching Jack as you shopped. The two kids loved this arrangement, convinced you were doing boring adult errands while away.
The number one gift on Jack’s wishlist had been Star Wars lego sets. Aaron was happy to get them, knowing the two of them would make them together. 
Placing the final presents under the tree, you glance at Aaron, on his knees below the pine. There’s a feeling brought by the quiet of the night, the soft glow of the Christmas tree lights, the quiet hum of the radio, that makes everything feel a little more magical. 
“I can’t wait for Jack to open these tomorrow morning,” you say, voice barely above a whisper. “I might be more excited for Christmas than he is.”
Aaron laughs at this. He’s seen over the past few months how much you love Christmas. Of course, he’d seen your own apartment decorated in past years, but now that you’d moved in, he fully understood your passion for the holiday. You’d added a festive touch that Aaron never had time for, taking Jack shopping for lights and decorations. He’d appreciated it, smiling every time he came back from a case to the decor. 
You glance over at the tree. "I hope Jack will appreciate the effort we put in, even if he thinks it’s Santa’s work."
Aaron smiles, his gaze softening as he looks at you. "He already knows. He sees how much you care about making this special for him."
You feel your heart swell with love, forgetting about all the stress the holiday season brings for a moment. Moments like this were what Christmas was about, the love and happiness your household brought you. 
Aaron takes your hand, the two of you standing. You walk over to the plate of cookies that Jack had left out for Santa. “Shall we?” Aaron asks, handing you one.
“We shall,” you say, dipping the cookie in the milk beside the plate. You thank whoever first came up with the idea of making cookies for Santa, the two of you taking a singular bite out of each one.
You turn off the radio as Aaron goes to the closet, pulling out a pair of his boots. He brings them over to the sink in the kitchen, spraying some water on the bottom. You pour some flour on a plate, and press the boots down into it. Aaron goes over to the fireplace, placing the boots down to create the illusion of snow prints from Santa leading to the tree. 
“Do you think he’ll be convinced?” he says when he’s satisfied with the tracks.
“I’m sure he will,” you say, walking over to him after you’ve rinsed off the plate and put it in the dishwasher. “You’re the handsomest Santa I’ve ever seen.” 
He laughs at your flirtation, placing a hand on the small of your back. "If anyone’s kissing Santa Claus, I think it might be you."
You giggle, and he pulls you close into a deep kiss. When you pull away, you look into his eyes, mesmerized by the way they twinkle as he looks at you. You savor the warmth of the season as his arms are wrapped around you. 
Tomorrow would be chaotic, Jack’s energy increased due to the excitement of the day. So you made sure to savor Aaron’s quiet affection, meditating in the quiet that was only broken up by the crackling fire. 
“I’m glad you were here to help me this year,” he says. You hum, still worried about your conversation waking Jack up. You don’t need words for Aaron to feel the love you bring into his home. 
“Let’s get to bed,” you whisper. He obliges, turning off the lights, smiling as he gives your handiwork one last look.
author's note: happy christmas eve! i've had a lot of fun writing the xmas event so everyone send me cm requests pls and thanks. also I will say I'm not feeling too festive bc I have been thinking of transferring for a while and now that I'm home I'm highkey considering it. this is bc I spent app season during my senior year thinking I was gonna do theater and then changed my mind and canceled all my callbacks in January after all the rest of the app windows closed and I got stuck with the three options that allowed me to switch app majors in march and now im at a school that doesn't really match my focus on academics but whatever. anyway if you have cm fic ideas TELL ME I will write it
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berberriescorner · 1 year ago
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"Through It All"
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Characters: Rio x Black!Reader.
Summary: There aren’t many things that put Rio on edge. Most people see a calm, cool, and collected individual. Keeping a level head is his specialty. What happens when the person he loves most needs him to be strong for both of them? Get a glimpse of what it’s like seeing him hold someone down through thick and thin, in sickness and health. If you know, you know.
**PLEASE READ THE WARNINGS AND AUTHOR’S NOTE**
Warnings: Angst…like seriously. You’ll understand once you read the author’s note. This fic contains sweet, soft, fluffy Rio. The fic includes some of my crazy humor with a smidge of the character’s inner thoughts. If reading about gynecological procedures makes you uncomfortable, this may not be a fic for you. It doesn’t go into great detail, but it is mentioned and sheds a bit of light. If mentions of the ins and outs of fertility is a soft spot, please read with caution. It isn’t my intention to bring anyone down, but this story is based on parts of my own experiences. Again, the note will explain more.
Author/Personal Note: Okay. Where to start? So, as some of you may know throughout the past two years I’ve been getting cycles of iron infusions. This year, after making several complaints and an ER visit or two. I had an ultrasound performed, which led to me getting surgery months later (the procedure I had done recently). I’ve been spending my days at home recovering, and it’s given me time to reflect. Damn, it’s been a rough couple of years, but I’m so thankful through it all. It’s difficult having a plethora of health issues. This situation put so much added stress on top of it all. As a woman, hearing you have a fibroid. Learning it’s best to get it removed to protect your fertility is scary as hell. You get it done, get sent home, and though you have loved ones taking amazing care of you. It’s still a difficult, challenging process. At times, it’s lonely. No one but you can fully wrap your head around the emotions and feelings the body is going through. It’s pretty wild.
Anywho, sorry y’all. Let me stop rambling and get to the point. We all know how overactive my imagination is. Being stuck in bed, my mind has been wandering. I thought to myself why not take this experience and channel it into a fic. I’m hoping that this will also be a comforting story to anyone who’s been through the same experience. Here is a look at how I envision Rio taking in the experience with his lady. I plan to write at least two more parts for this. Happy reading my lovelies! I wrote this on a whim, in celebration of my birthday, so ignore the grammatical errors my loves. I may come back and do some more editing. Depends on how I’m feeling.
Word Count: 1,800+. 
Inspired By💜:
Random fun fact: Toni Braxton and I have the same birthday😆. Happy Birthday, Queen💓.
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Everything was still as a deafening silence fell across the room. It was as if each occupant was afraid to utter a single word. Your mother pretended to distract herself with a Kindle book as your father paced the floor quietly. They’d share a glance each time they checked their watch, smiling at one another in comfort and reassurance. 
Then, together, they directed their attention toward the chair in the far right corner. It was tucked in a tight corner next to a window, giving little relief and comfort to your husband, Rio. He, too was anxious, but no one would ever know it. He was always able to still his facial features. Never one to give his emotions away. The only person who could read him wasn’t in the room. You were on the other side of the building and the reason for your families’ nervousness. No longer able to stand the constant glances and silence, Rio stood from his seat. He released a breath, rubbing his palms against his jeans. Turning to your parents, he stated, “I’m going to grab a quick cup of coffee from the cafeteria. Would you two like something?”
Your mother, a gentle, nurturing soul, responded for both of them.
“No, baby. We’re fine. Don’t worry. I’ll come find you if we receive news.”
Rio ducked away in a vacant spot in the cafeteria, hands folded over top of the steam of the coffee. He searched for peace and solace until a jolting vibration exploded in his jacket pocket. Fumbling for the phone, he answered without looking.
“What they say ma-. Oh, my bad. Wassup? Everything good?” Rio listened patiently before snapping. “You know this is something you could’ve handled yourself, right? I don’t have time for the three stooges bullshit today.”
He instantly felt a slight pang of guilt. Rio realized that the stress and worry of his current situation were influencing his mood. Taking a deep breath, he relaxed. Inhaling, he continued, “My bad bro. She’s been in for three hours, and it’s got me tweaking. Nobody’s giving us any damn answers. It’s a non-invasive procedure, but it’s still considered major surgery. I just need to hear she’s good.”
“It’s all good, boss. I know you’re worried about wifey. She’s a strong woman. Boss lady’s going to be alright. Don’t worry, I’ll take care of everything. Call me as soon as you know something,” Mick responded.
“You're right. Thank you for holdin’ shit down.”
He laid his phone on the table, burying his face in his hands. The last few moments he spent with you were on repeat in his mind. Rio returned to the present, hearing the chair opposite him slide backward. His eyes connected with your father’s, and he readied himself for wherever the conversation would go.
It was no secret that the two hadn’t always seen eye to eye. The two men sat for several minutes before your father started speaking.
“I’ll be honest with you, man. You’re not at all what I envisioned for my daughter.”
“You seriously want to have this conversation right now?”
“Now wait, son. Let me finish.”
Hold up. It’s son now? Where is this going? It didn’t even sound disrespectful. It doesn’t sound like he’s trying to play me on some sucka shit. I’ll hear him out.
Rio nodded his head, giving your father the floor.
“I may not know all you do for a living, son, but I know you’ve managed to make a comfortable and safe life for my baby girl. When it comes down to it, that’s what I’ve always wanted for her. It took me some time to come to terms with it, but I know, without a doubt, that you’re doing everything in your power to make her feel protected and loved. Let me just say what I’m getting at,” he chuckled. “You’re good at hiding it, son, but I know you’re worried. Hell, so are we, but that’s alright.”
Rio’s head dropped, shoulders slumping. He took the opportunity to be vulnerable finally. Your father’s acceptance allowed him the space to do so. He felt a comforting grip land on his shoulder. Your father finished, “Baby girl is going to be alright, son. With all your love and support, she’ll be back on her feet soon. Now, you take a few more moments to yourself. Don’t be surprised when her momma wraps you up in a big hug when you head back. She’s worried about her favorite son-in-law.”
Rio chuckled, “I’m her only son-in-law, sir.”
“Even better. You ain’t gotta share. That sweet woman sure knows how to smother people in love.”
“You’re daughter is the same way. It’s one of the many things I love about her.”
“Which is why you understand my reasons for being so guarded. That’s my baby girl. Enough with that ‘sir’ shit too. Call me pops. My son may not like that, but I get a kick out of irritating him anyway. He’s overprotective of his sister.”
“Y’all gon’ try to take me out if I ever mess up, huh?”
“What I look like snitching on myself? Let’s not ever get to that bridge, son.”
The two men shared a laugh, but everything turned serious when they saw your mom power walking towards them. Rio's heart began thudding in his chest.
“Ma, what’s wrong? Did-.”
“Relax, sugar,” she cooed, rubbing a hand against both men’s arms. “The nurse said the doctor should be ready to talk to us in about fifteen minutes. Let’s head back to the waiting room.”
Fifteen minutes came and went. Your mother couldn’t help but crack a smile at both men. They both started fussing about how long the surgeon was taking. She felt sorry for the man once he approached them. The doctor, attempting to apologize, was cut off by an impatient Rio.
“You good, doc. We understand these things take time, but excuse us for being anxious. We were under the impression this would be about an hour-long procedure. How’s my wife?”
The surgeon explained himself. “That’s what we anticipated, but the process took longer. Your wife’s last ultrasound a few months back showed a fibroid the size of a plum. Sadly, it grew to the size of an orange, which would explain why things grew more difficult during her last few cycles. However, you’ll be happy to know that we managed to do it laparoscopically, and everything looks great. She’s being taken to recovery now, but we’ve decided to keep her overnight.”
All three of your family members asked, “Why is that,” in unison.
“We just want to keep an eye on her for the next twenty-four hours. Given gas was used to see things more clearly, we’d like to monitor her. We’ll need to see that she gets up and walks to get things flowing. I just want to be sure she gets it moving out of her system. Also, since she’s anemic, we just want to be extra careful. I promise everything went well, and she should be ready to go in the morning.”
Each family member felt at ease. The trio waited for an invitation to your recovery room. Though he wanted to be the first person you saw when you woke up, Rio encouraged your parents to go first. The two visitors' only rule irritated them all.
Your eyes fluttered open, and your parents laughed at the slurred responses given to your nurse. Your parents took turns kissing your forehead, expressing encouraging words. Your father, now at ease, left the room in search of Rio.
“You might want to hurry back there. She’s still a bit loopy. Baby girl has been asking the nurse, where my husband? You got my baby acting ratchet in this hospital,” he joked.
“Aye, she was like that when I met her,” he laughed, walking towards recovery.
Rio slid behind the curtain, laying eyes on the most precious sight. You were in bed, laid back, eyes closed, singing off-key as your mother held your hand, laughing. The nurse stepped beside him, giving a small giggle.
“She’s been looking for you. Ma’am, the man of the hour is here.”
Your eyes popped open as you halted the song. “My husbannnd! Hey baeee,” you winced, given the pain and having a hoarse voice.
“Mama, you back here wildin’ ain’t you? How’s our little patient doing, ma,” he directed toward your mom.
“Crazy as ever. This girl opened her eyes, looked at me, and called herself whispering. Loud as ever, she asked me if she still had a uterus. Her daddy would’ve turned red if he were capable.”
They both shared a laugh as you did your best to shrug shoulders. Wanting to give you two privacy, your mom went to sit in the waiting room. Rio turned to you, holding your hand. His lips brushed across your knuckles, and he shivered at how cold they were. Wrapping his hand around yours, he tried warming the digits.
“My momma ain’t answer my question though,” you mumbled, eyes closed.
Rio smiled, “What’s that now, mama?”
“My uterus. Sis still in there, right?”
“Yes, darlin’. What makes you think it’s not?”
“I signed them papers, man. In the event of a ‘mergency, they were going to take shawty,” you sassed, words still slurring.
Rio did his best to hold back a cackle. Clearing his throat, he replied, “Mama, you straight. Everything went according to plan. There was no emergency. The fibroid is out. It was bigger than expected. That’s why it feels like you were out for a while.”
“Aight bet. So when we making babies,” you asked, wincing again.
“First off, sit still, mama. Your body is pretty sore right now.”
“Baby, I’m drugged up! I don’t feel nothin’.”
“Second. You’ll be recovering for four to six weeks. You’re not going to be in any type of mood for all that. I believe the surgeon said no sex for two to three weeks. No babies for at least six months, darlin’. They just sliced your uterus open and stitched it back together, mama,” he explained, running his thumb across your lip.
He laughed at the pout etched on your face. Rio caressed the side of your face, kissing you gently. “On some real shit. I was worried out my mind over you, mama. I’m so glad you’re good. You’re my world. The clock kept ticking, and I was about to lose it.”
Your eyes connected with his, “I’m right here, papa. I’m good. We gonna be good. No matter what,” you whispered. Even through the drugs and drowsiness, you could feel his angst. Rio could read between the lines. He knew what you were trying to communicate. It had been on both your minds heavily. Your eyes connected with his. Rio saw the unshed tears you were holding back, and he swallowed hard, nodding his head in agreement. No matter where this path led, Rio knew, in his heart, that he loved you with everything in him.
Baby or not, we’ll still feel fulfilled and happy. My life’s purpose is to love and give you the world.
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This piece was both personal and therapeutic for me to write. I truly hope you all enjoyed it. Please be sure to comment and reblog, it's appreciated. Now I'm about to go eat some birthday cake and read some amazing fan fiction😆.
Divider credit💜 : @firefly-graphics
tagging💜 : @4everbrookemarie @darqchilddaydreamz @astoldbychae @sunshine-flower
@nightlywords7 @starrynite7114 @amorestevens @fineanddandy
@rio-reid-whoreee @that-one-anxious-mango @novaniskye
@alertyoulikeitsamber @1andonlytashae @lovedlover @blkbutterfly816 @banana123pudding
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radiant-reid · 2 years ago
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In The Dark
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Summary: After a few months without contact, Reader assumes Spencer has ghosted her and she's shocked when he has the nerve to turn up.
based on the request: would you write something about spencer going to prison and being in a relationship for a few months, so the team doesn't know about her and no one tells her about him, so she thinks he just ghosted her and is really sad :( but someway she finds out?
Pairing: Spencer Reid x Fem!Reader (Angst)
Content Warning: prison arch and mention of Spencer's SA and drugging
Word Count: 4.0k
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Spencer Reid is a great boyfriend. For someone with such little experience, he's mastered date planning, check-in phone calls, and romantic words. It's not a surprise when he's good at everything he tries, but it's impressive and incredibly appreciated by his girlfriend, Y/n.
He gets back into DC late from a case, something about an UnSub murdering people he sees as a threat to his soon-to-be ex-husband in the hopes of rekindling their relationship. It was sad and tragic but nothing exceedingly troubling. After more than a decade on the job, Spencer had seen just how powerful a motivator jealousy could be.
Adding to his stress, Y/n knew he was still struggling with looking after his mom, not as much as before, but it was still stressful. So she was a little surprised when Spencer called, wondering if she was free that night to go out. She tries to keep her calendar flexible when working around Spencer's unpredictable schedule, and she quickly agrees to spend some time with him before he gets whisked away on his next case.
Spencer's never late, but he knows to knock on the door no sooner than five minutes early to avoid Y/n worrying about not being ready if he arrives early.
Every time he sees her, especially after he's not seen her for a while, Spencer can't believe how he got so lucky to be with someone so beautiful.
"Hi." He says softly, trying to remember to function despite being totally blown away by her. "You look gorgeous."
Y/n gives him a little twirl in the new red dress she knew would be perfect for a date night. "Thank you. I missed you." She replies, not letting him get past the entryway of her apartment before wrapping him in a tight hug.
"I missed you too," Spencer says, resting his head on hers. He didn't know what it was like to miss someone until he met her, to think about someone fondly and wish you could see them. That was a first Spencer had never experienced before her. He still hates the longing to see her, but he loves that he has someone to miss.
There's not a feeling like being in Spencer's arms. It's safe and warm, and she loved it from their first hug.
When she pulls back, Y/n smiles up at him. "Also, you look very handsome." She tells him before leaning in to kiss him softly.
Spencer always grins like an idiot about having someone to kiss casually. There's no other feeling like it.
"Should we go?" She asks, her tone just slightly teasing at the spaced-out look on Spencer's face.
He snaps back into it. "R-right, uh, yes, yeah, let's go." His actions are more decisive than his words, and he steps aside to let her into the corridor before him.
"So, where are we off to?" Y/n asks curiously on the way to the elevator, hand-in-hand with Spencer.
With the hand not holding hers, he reaches into his suit jacket pocket and produces two ticket stubs. "The theatre."
Her eyes light up with delight as she takes the tickets to confirm they're real. "How did you- these were sold out?" She's as puzzled as she is excited.
"I know people," Spencer says mysteriously, making her giggle and playfully nudge his arm.
"Thank you." She says, voice overflowing with gratitude. She had mentioned how much she wanted to go, but she couldn't find tickets, and somehow, Spencer found some. Things like that make him the best boyfriend.
He proves he's better than other boyfriends by opening her door when they get to the car, and even drives, although he doesn't like it.
They arrive at the Kennedy Centre with enough time to get food and drinks before the show, and Y/n's even more impressed by his feat of getting tickets when she realizes just what good seats they are.
Despite being shy to touch her at the start of their relationship, Spencer has quickly warmed up, and his hands don't leave her the whole night, holding hers or resting on her thigh or his arm wrapping around her shoulder.
After the show, they walk down the street to a restaurant for dinner when Spencer offhandedly mentions an idea. "We should go to the real thing." He says dreamily.
"Like, in Paris?" Y/n replies with a frown. It's a very forward proposal to get from a boyfriend of two and a half months, who she's only been out with on seven dates and never slept in the same bed as.
Spencer quickly shakes his head when he realizes the implication of what he's just said. Of course, it's in his future plan to take her to the City of Love- even to see the entire world if she wants that. But telling her so soon would be coming on too strong, potentially scaring her off, and he does not want to do that.
He chuckles awkwardly, clearing his throat. "No, uh, I just meant to New York to see it on Broadway."
Technically, it's only a three-hour train ride, which isn't a huge commitment, but the show would end late, so they'd probably have to spend the night in the city together..., and she should stop fantasizing so much about something he's only suggesting.
She settles on a more laid-back answer. "Yeah, we should. I'd really like that."
Spencer makes a promise to himself right there as they walk down a street of DC on the way to dinner. He'll take her to New York City and then Paris one day.
He only gets the confidence to speak the latter thought that night. They're lying in bed together after Spencer once again has proved he's good at things he says he doesn't have much practice at.
"We're going to go to Paris." He vows, holding out his pinky to lock with hers.
Y/n frowns. "Right now? I'm too comfortable here." It's so cozy under her covers, and she feels safe beside him, resting on his bare chest for the first time.
He shakes his head, messier curls dancing on his forehead. "No, I mean just at some point in the future. You know, eventually." He explains before waggling his pinky finger. "Now, promise me."
She snorts with laughter but locks her pinky around his. "I guess we're going to Paris together."
He's about to add something, but his phone ringing on the side table stops him. Spencer can guess who it is, but he knows that she doesn't know he has a BAU-specific ringtone and that that wasn't it. He avoids showing her the screen, taking advantage of her focus on her fingers drawing patterns on his skin.
Y/n notices how he stiffens once he reads the message. "Do you have to go?" She asks softly, purposefully making herself not sound upset. She's not, but sleeping alone won't be as easy as it was about to be when she assumed he was staying the night over.
"I'm sorry." Spencer quickly apologizes, but not for needing to go, just for lying.
She shakes her head quickly, leaning up to kiss him softly. "Don't be." She assures him before moving off him so he can get out of bed and leave. Spencer slips out of the covers, collecting his clothes from the floor and awkwardly- but adorably- clumsily redressing. "Where are you off to?"
"Houston."
Brownsville, then Matamoros, Mexico.
He hates himself for lying to her. He hates himself for lying to the team too. He hates himself in general recently. Lies always snowball. He's only lied by omission to her before, simply saying he was out of town when she asked rather than admitting he was in another country.
When he's finished redressing, he stands awkwardly by her doorframe. He wants to kiss her goodbye but doesn't think he's worthy of affection.
Like he knew she would, Y/n ushers him over. "You have to kiss me before you go." She reminds him with an innocent giggle.
"Right, sorry." Spencer apologizes, making his way across the room to her and resting his hand on the mattress to lean over and capture her lips in a soft kiss.
She pulls back with a smile. "Be safe."
He nods. What he's doing, although technically not illegal, is definitely not safe. For a moment, he thinks about telling Y/n. It would be easy to blurt out what he's actually going to do, but he's not about to dump all of his problems on his new girlfriend. She's too precious and innocent to be involved in his mess.
"I will." He promises. He needs to be for her and for Paris. "I'll call you when I'm back. It shouldn't be more than a few days. Then we can plan New York." He promises as he moves away from her towards the door.
She grins broadly, nodding eagerly. "Okay. I'll look forward to that."
He will too. In fact, dreaming about their future plans is where he'll go in his head as his happy place.
To say Mexico didn't go as planned would be a drastic understatement.
The plan was not to get high, enter a car chase with the police with cocaine in the trunk, and ultimately get arrested.
And there are no words to describe even a tiny fraction of Spencer's despair as he comes down from the awful mix of cocaine and heroin and realizes what's happening. Y/n's on his mind when he starts coming down, but there's so much else happening around him while Emily tries to save him from ending up in a deadly Mexican prison.
Thankfully, his face is so pale, and he looks so ruined that no one notices the dread set in when he's on the jet back to the US, and he finally focuses on his girlfriend. It's a moral dilemma that he doesn't have the morals or energy to work through.
Don't get the team to tell her, and Y/n will believe he doesn't want to be in a relationship with her but is too cowardly to say.
Or get the team to tell her, and she'll be forced into his mess.
He chooses not to tell anyone he's in a serious relationship and holds onto hope that the team can quickly prove his innocence or that he'll get bail and be able to do it himself. He knows JJ, Penelope, or Emily would be delicate, but it's jaw-dropping news, and he needs to be there to beg her to stay if- when, in his mind- she decides she doesn't want to be with a suspected murderer.
At his arraignment, she's who he's thinking about when he gets hauled away, having not been granted bail. He can't make his mind up between speaking up about her and the existence of their relationship or not, and as time goes on, it seems easier not to.
Y/n's not worried the first night he's away, and she doesn't get a text. They're still getting into a routine, and she knows his job often doesn't allow for breaks. On the second day, a missing child's case hits the news, and she figures, although not explicitly stated, that possibly that's what Spencer and his team are working on.
Once it's announced that they found the little girl, Y/n's concern amplifies. It's the longest there's been no contact between them. All her phone calls go straight to his voicemail, and her messages only send as texts.
It's inconceivable that he would purposefully not contact her, so she repeatedly puts his name into Google, knowing it would be published if he were injured or, even more heartbreaking, killed. Something like that would probably make a martyr of him, but it would be an explanation for his disappearance.
Nothing.
There are a few articles on notable cases he's worked on and his remarkable intellectual achievements, but they're all from much earlier.
So it's logical that he's alive and unwilling, rather than unable, to speak to her.
And eventually, she accepts that she got ghosted. The person she thought was the most honorable she'd ever met left and never explained it.
It's heartbreaking, each unreturned message and call piercing her heart and crushing her spirit. Everything about Spencer seemed so perfect. He treated her like glass, delicate and beautiful. He was gentle with her feelings and his words. He never pushed too hard or didn't care enough.
Spencer was everything she wanted, and she had him.
And then he was gone.
She wishes she could be more angry. Of course, she's furious at the abruptness, at Spencer leading her on and possibly treating her so well she won't be able to accept less in the future. She's angry that she looks like an idiot, played perfectly by someone who's probably laughing about it to his friends. And she doesn't even know any of his friends! That's how blinding his affection was.
But she's hurt, heartbroken. What about her is so unloveable that Spencer couldn't stay? And, on top of that, what makes her so unworthy of an explanation? It's worse than a breakup in that way, no answers to the questions plaguing her mind. Doubt and insecurity plague her mind every day. The weight of her sadness felt suffocating. Y/n tried to occupy her mind, but the memories lingered and taunted her. Then there were the inquiries from everyone around her about how her relationship was progressing, everyone who had seen her overjoyed just days before.
She took a weekend to cry about it, to mourn the loss of something good with a promising future.
But, even more than two months after their last contact, it's still difficult to think about. Spencer's absence is found every day in her life. He's not an easy person to forget.
It feels like hundreds of times she's typed out text messages to him, ranging from begging him to reconsider their relationship to demanding answers about why he left without a word. Then it dawns on her that maybe it's not even still his phone. Maybe Spencer does the whole dating thing with lots of different girls to get off, and he has a burner SIM for each of them, and he's thrown hers out.
Still, she has to send that last text message. A final conclusion, two months after the "Please just let me know you're okay" text message that Spencer didn't return. It got sent with trembling hands and a heavy heart, but the final one wasn't. It's impersonal. Structured formal language, blocked out her feelings, and commanded he never contacts her again.
So, the last thing she expects at 7 pm on a random Tuesday night is Spencer to be at her door.
Spencer with, through her view from the peephole, a blonde woman. So this is probably his wife, and now she's about to get accused of being the other woman and sleeping with a married man.
Y/n only opens the door for the chance of seeing him getting slapped by her or slapping him herself.
His eyes soften as hers fill with tears. It hasn't even been that long, but Spencer looks different. He actually looks like shit, totally worn down with his messy curls, deep bags under his eyes, and unshaven facial hair, and she's unsympathetic to it. She felt like that, so he deserves to look like it. Spitefully, she might be enjoying it.
"You good?" The blonde next to him asks, but her eyes aren't judging, just concerned.
So she's probably not a wife, but he has no right to bring an emotional support person to a confession about being a complete dick to her.
Spencer barely glances in her direction as he nods. She hastily exits down the hall while Y/n stares him down.
"I don't want to speak to you." She informs him sternly, shaking her head to avoid tears falling. She's not going to let her walls crumble for him. That was a lamentable mistake and a pitiless lesson.
When she goes to slam the door, Spencer puts his hand in it. He's an asshole, but she won't go as far as to break his fingers.
"Please." He begs, voice grave. "Please hear me out."
Y/n scoffs, dramatically rolling her eyes. It's a facade for how destroyed she is internally. "Why? Why should I?" Unfortunately, she couldn't turn off her caring like he could turn off his attachment.
"I promise I can explain." He assures her.
Her patience is gone in an instant, and she snaps. "Explain!?" She balks. "You can explain why you've been ghosting me for two and a half months? Why you lead me on with these fantasized plans of us going on vacation together only to not speak to me again? Well, that sounds delightful."
Spencer had anticipated the hostility he's met with. "Can we talk inside?" He offers calmly. His fuse is shorter after prison, but he needs to set this right. There's not an ulterior motive. All he wants is for her to know the truth, even if she never speaks to him again.
"Sure." She voices, stepping out of the way to let him in.
It chills her to think that the last time he was here, they were making gentle love and vows.
"Was it all just a ploy to fuck me?" She spits out.
That was the deep insecurity she had about the situation. It couldn't have been a coincidence that, proceeding their first night, he wouldn't return a call.
She continues, voicing all the built-up feelings that are finally exploding. Her emotions are like a pressure cooker with a strong need for release. "Because that's so fucking low. I trusted you! I let you in, and you were such a coward you couldn't tell me you finished with me."
The cracks show. Spencer can hear the pain in her voice and see the tears she's fighting. He wants to reach out and hug her- he needs to. It's what he's been thinking about for so long, but he can't, not yet.
"I was in prison." He says calmly. There are so many ways he's played this out, but in the moment, it came out simply.
"Fuck off." She says, not at all believing a word. An easier lie to sell would be that his mom died or his phone got stolen. Neither are good excuses, but they're much more likely.
Spencer shakes his head. "I'm not lying, I promise." His voice is so profound that it's hard not to believe him.
But he could easily be a psychopath, doing this for more sadistic pleasure.
"Why should I believe you?" Her arms cross over her chest defensively.
"Because I am crazy about you." Her heart stops, and those butterflies are impossible to suppress. They're second nature when she's around him. "I would never jeopardize that on purpose." He swears, but he can tell she needs more. "You are lovely, everything I could ever want in a partner and more. Your kindness is like nothing else I've ever experienced, and I'll always be grateful I met you."
The self-preservation instincts in her brain are screaming at her, warning bells going off. "I need to hear the rest of your explanation." She says strictly.
"Can we sit?" He asks, nodding at the couch. "It's a long story."
Hesitantly, she agrees. She needs to guard herself, but she needs answers just as badly.
So Spencer recounts it. From why he was in Mexico, what substances he was getting for his mom, the other times lies about his whereabouts, the cocaine and heroin forced into him, his hallucination about having sex with her in the motel room, the car chase, the arrest, the cocaine in the trunk, coming off the drugs, the holding cell in Mexico, his team turning up, the times they had to repeat what had happened because of how high he was, the childhood flashbacks, the eleventh-hour transfer to the American authorities, the realization of his situation, the arraignment, the horrible verdict, prison without protective custody, the beatings, his friend dying, the fear, feeling like it was forever, all the interviews and meetings with his lawyer, the unlikely savor on the inside, finally getting out and having his name cleared, and the somehow more stressful ending.
By the end, he's crying, not trying to wipe away the soft tears falling down his cheeks. Y/n hasn't realized she has started to cry, but she can't stop it.
"I'm so sorry." She apologizes, but it's primarily for the internal resentment she's harboring for him and all the hateful things she said about him in her head.
"It's okay," Spencer promises. His guilt is overwhelming already, but it's going to increase tenfold if she's remorseful about it. "You didn't know."
"But I sure as hell didn't give you the reasonable doubt." She adds in.
He shakes his head. "I haven't spoken to you in almost three months, Y/n." He speaks softly, still weeping. "The logical conclusion to draw is that I left you on purpose. I can't imagine how much I've hurt you, and I'm so sorry for it."
"I know it's not your fault." She says, before tacking on, "Now."
He's so grateful she just gave him a chance to explain. He's hopeful it will bring her peace, but there isn't a doubt it will do that for him.
He stands up awkwardly. "Thank you for hearing me out... and for the best few months of my life. It's truly been a pleasure."
"Wait." She pleads softly, making him spin around quickly. "You're leaving?"
"Do you need something?" Spencer asks. He'll do anything she wants in a heartbeat, hoping it will ease some of the misery she's been in.
Y/n bites her bottom lip, thinking through what she's about to ask, but she knows she has to go with her heart and gut. Spencer is Spencer, and she'll never be able to convince herself that he's hurt her on purpose.
"You." She admits.
Spencer's heart gets crushed in an instant. She knows about it now, but there's no way she can fully understand the changes, so he'll have to let her down again and break both their hearts, hearts that long for each other.
"Y/n..." He trails off. "I'm not who I used to be."
She shakes her head. "I don't care." Her confession is nonchalant. It's a quick decision, but it feels right. "Please don't leave again."
"I've been in federal prison." He reminds her.
She gulps, feeling the full power of his rejection. It's a much more Spencer way to do it, letting her down gently. "Mm-hmm." She mumbles. "Okay, I understand." She gets up to show him out, and it feels like the weight he's relieved has been piled back on. "If you ever want to be with me again... you know where to find me." She knows it sounds pathetic, but she needs to say it.
If he ever wants her. There's nothing more than Spencer wants. "Y/n." He coos softly. His hands come to cup her cheeks, relishing touching her skin and being close to her again. It's a natural desire to kiss her, but he stops himself from doing it a few inches away from her lips.
"Don't." She begs in a whisper, more tears clouding her vision. "Not if you're not going to stay."
"I want to." He promises. "But I'm different."
Y/n shakes her head in his hands. "Not inside. You might have more walls, but your heart will always be good."
So he doesn't let himself self-sabotage. When he kisses Y/n, it feels like everything is right in the world again. It's what he's been dreaming about for as long as they've been apart. It's fireworks and butterflies and every cliche possible, but there's a reason those cliches get repeated: they're true.
Spencer pulls back once he's kissed her until they've both run out of air. He's crying as much as he's smiling. "We're okay?" He double-checks.
"You're going to be," Y/n promises. "And that means we're going to be."
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reneesghostinthelivingroom · 9 months ago
Note
Jinx x f!reader where Jinx confesses accidentally cause she is a clutz and just freaks out but then reader is like “it’s ok i like u too” and blahhhhh cutieeeeeesss!!!
Accidental Truth
|| Jinx x fem!reader
|| Warnings: first time writing for Jinx, just pure fluff, shorter than my usual works
|| Summary: reader and Jinx head to their usual hangout, falling for each other along the way. Jinx accidentally confesses her feelings and reader returns them.
Requests open!
~~~
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You worked for Silco, you have since you were young and he found you on the streets. Pairing you with Jinx so the two of you could keep each other company and protect each other.
It just as a regular day. Well, as regular as days could be in the Undercity. You and Jinx had been building jumping, heading to your usual hangout spot. You suddenly slip but Jinx reacts fast and grasps you by your wrist, pulling you up next to her so you're flat on your feet again.
"Haha! And I thought I was the klutz!" Jinx laughs and you roll your eyes, playfully shoving her. She stumbles back and this time it's your turn to catch her. But you misstep and the two of you end up falling anyways. You landing on top of Jinx, Jinx laying under you with her back against the roof. A faint blush appears on both of your cheeks as you look into each others eyes for what feels like a long moment. Has Jinx always been this beautiful?
You push those thoughts aside and get off her, helping her to her feet. You don't notice as she keeps staring at you.
~~~
The hangout place.
It wasn't anything too special but it was yours. A space hidden from anyone else where you and Jinx could just be.
Thin strips of metal walls formed to make a rectangular shape, one wall open. You and Jinx had hung up some lights in the past, Jinx adding her signature neon spray paint to the walls and you adding some soft cushions to the floors. The space was enough to fit the two of you comfortably, but Jinx opted to laying across you despite that. You didn't mind. You loved how clingy she could be with you.
The two of you just laid in the comfort of each other and talked about anything and everything, Jinx going on about her latest bombs and you listening with a soft smile on your face. Jinx took notice of it almost immediately.
"Have I ever mentioned how much I love your smile? I love you." Jinx says suddenly, catching both of you off guard. Almost like she didn't even realize she said it out loud until she saw your reaction. She quickly sits up, trying to take back her words through a stuttering mess you couldn't comprehend.
Your smile widened and you grabbed Jinx's hands, she looked at you with fearful eyes. Her chest rising and falling rapidly. You pull her knuckles to you and give them each a soft kiss, making her blush in return.
"I love you, too." You tell her. She visibly relaxes. You've loved Jinx for a while, you just didn't realize until earlier when she was under you. The way she had been looking into your eyes. It all fell into place then. You wanted her.
Insanity and all.
Without warning, Jinx pulled you into a kiss. Once again taking you by surprise, though you melted into it and kissed her back.
You felt genuinely happy. A rare feeling to be found in the Undercity.
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coolgrl111 · 3 months ago
Text
“shouldn’t you be prostituting yourself for a place to sleep tonight?” part 2
patrick x reader
a/n: thank you for enjoying this enough to warrant a part two😭❤️
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his vulnerability is palpable now, the bravado he used to wear like armor has long since crumbled, leaving him raw and uncertain. "thanks for letting me come over," he says, voice low, almost unsure. you offer him a small, tentative smile, still unsure of what to say. it feels like meeting him for the first time again, only this time, he's a little more broken, and you're a little more cautious.
"it's fine," you murmur, though the awkwardness lingers like a thick smoke, curling in the silence between your words. it’s strange, how once you shared everything, and now you can’t even find the right way to ask him if he's doing okay.
he shifts, clearing his throat, his eyes flicking toward you, and for a moment, it’s like the old patrick peeks through—a faint shadow of the boy who used to tease you relentlessly, just to see you smile. “you know, you haven’t changed much," he says, voice soft with an edge of something you can't quite place. you laugh, but it’s a nervous, light sound, and you shake your head.
"you have," you reply, maybe more bluntly than you meant to. his smile falters, but he nods, gaze falling to the floor. “yeah,” he whispers, “i guess i have.”
your eyes linger, skulking over his unshaven beard, his bright blue eyes still brash, yet weary. the same eyes that used to gaze at you with so much love, affection. now with caution.
for a moment, silence wraps around you both again, the weight of what’s been lost too heavy to carry into conversation. and then, in a voice that's just a bit too careful, he tries to break the tension, offering a half-hearted flirt. “you ever think about… us? like, back then?” he asks, eyes meeting yours, vulnerable in a way that makes your heart twist. you don’t answer immediately, and he fumbles, quickly adding, “not that i’m—i don’t mean…”
you smile gently, shaking your head. “i do,” you admit quietly, and for a moment, the tension softens, the past stretching like a bridge between you both. but you both know it’s not the same anymore.
he leans back, sighing, a small, tired laugh escaping him. “i missed this,” he says, almost too softly, and there’s a warmth in his voice that you haven’t heard in so long. you smile only the tiniest amount, exhaling gently.
smoothing out your jeans, you glance toward the small, cozy bedroom down the hall. “you can take the bed,” you say, almost too quickly, trying to avoid any more awkwardness. “i’ll sleep on the couch. it’s fine, really.”
patrick’s brows furrow, his eyes narrowing slightly in offense as he straightens up on the couch. “what, do you think i’m some kind of barbarian?” he says, his voice laced with mock indignation. “you seriously think i’d let you sleep on the couch in your own house? come on.”
you open your mouth to protest, but before you can get a word in, he stands up, crossing the room with a sudden burst of energy. “i’m a gentleman!” he exclaims, a playful edge creeping into his tone. “do you have any idea who you’re dealing with? i would never let you do that.”
you blink, a small smile tugging at your lips despite yourself. “patrick—”
he cuts you off with a dramatic wave of his hand, his expression shifting into something more earnest, though there’s still a spark of mischief in his eyes. “no, no. we’ll both take the bed. but—” he raises a finger, like he’s just come up with the grandest idea, “we’ll put up a partition, like we’re children or something. afraid of cooties.”
you can’t help but laugh, the tension easing a little. “a partition?” you ask, crossing your arms, amusement dancing in your voice. “and how exactly are we supposed to do that?”
he glances around your living room as if searching for something to use. “pillows,” he says, nodding decisively. “we’ll make a wall of pillows. you stay on your side, i stay on mine. it’s foolproof. totally respectful.”
you raise an eyebrow, trying to stifle your laughter. “and you’re sure this is the best solution?”
“absolutely,” he grins, the first real smile you’ve seen from him all night. it’s like a flicker of the old patrick—confident, playful, always pushing boundaries just enough to make you laugh but never too far. “you’ll see. i’m a perfect gentleman. nothing to worry about.”
shaking your head, you relent, half-amused, half-unsure how you got roped into this. “alright, fine. but if you cross the pillow wall—”
he interrupts with a hand over his heart. “i solemnly swear, i won’t cross the pillow wall. i’ll be on my best behavior.”
you roll your eyes but can’t suppress the smile pulling at your lips. “okay, okay. let’s do this.”
as you both make your way into the bedroom, you can feel the strange mix of nostalgia and vulnerability between you. patrick starts arranging the pillows with a kind of exaggerated seriousness, making you laugh despite the lingering tension. for a moment, it feels like you’re back in the past, before everything got complicated.
when the bed is finally set, with a lumpy, but passable pillow barrier between you, patrick flops down on his side, dramatically throwing an arm over his face. “see? foolproof,” he mumbles, his voice softer now, as if the weight of the day is finally catching up with him. “thanks for this, really,” he adds, quieter, more sincere.
you lie down on your side, pulling the blanket up to your chin, the soft hum of the city outside filling the quiet space between you both. “it’s no problem,” you whisper, staring up at the ceiling, your heart beating a little faster than you’d like to admit.
there’s a long pause, and you almost think he’s fallen asleep when he speaks again, voice low and tentative. “i don’t… i don’t really know how to be this person anymore,” he admits, and in the darkness, you can hear the vulnerability in his words. “but i’m trying.”
you turn your head slightly, looking toward the wall of pillows that separates you. “i know,” you say softly. “and that’s enough.”
for a while, neither of you speaks, the air between you settling into something that feels less awkward, more familiar. the silence feels heavy, but it’s a comforting weight, like you’re both slowly relearning how to exist in each other’s lives.
and somewhere between the rustling of sheets and the soft rhythm of your breaths, you fall asleep, the pillow wall standing firm, but the distance between you both somehow feeling a little less vast.
the morning light filters in through the curtains, soft and golden, and you blink awake, feeling the warmth of something—or someone—pressed against you. your heart skips a beat as you realize the pillow partition is gone, and you and patrick are clung to each other, bodies entwined like vines, arms wrapped so tightly you feel like you might snap apart if you move. it’s like the earth itself has cracked between you, splitting the continents, and you’re clinging to the only thing that’s keeping you from drifting away.
for a moment, you stay still, your heart hammering in your chest as you process how close you are. patrick’s arm is draped over your waist, his leg tangled with yours, and his breath is warm on your neck. he stirs, and suddenly, you feel him realize the situation too. his body tenses, and then, almost in slow motion, you both awkwardly pull away, limbs fumbling as if you’re unsure where one person begins and the other ends.
you clear your throat, sitting up and avoiding his gaze, hoping your flushed face isn’t too obvious. but then you glance over at him, and his situation is definitely not helping matters—patrick, fully aware of his morning wood, shifts uncomfortably, running a hand through his disheveled hair. “uh, sorry, i—” he mumbles, his voice rough with sleep, clearly embarrassed. “it’s, uh, it’s morning, you know?”
you laugh nervously, feeling heat rise to your cheeks. “yeah, i know. it’s, uh, fine.” you quickly get out of bed, trying to pretend this is totally normal, not at all weird or intimate or… whatever it was. “do you, um, want to take a shower?” you ask, eager to shift the focus.
“yeah,” patrick says, a little too quickly. “that’d be great.”
you lead him to the bathroom, still feeling a little flustered. “towels are in the cabinet,” you say, pointing without making eye contact, because the sight of him is making your heart do weird things again. “just, uh, help yourself.”
as he steps into the bathroom, closing the door behind him, you exhale, trying to calm the fluttering in your stomach. get a grip, you tell yourself. it was just… sleeping. innocent. but the way you held each other, like the world would break apart if you let go—that wasn’t just sleeping, was it?
shaking off the thought, you busy yourself by heading to the kitchen to make breakfast. you crack some eggs, fry up bacon, anything to distract yourself. the sound of the shower running helps, but it also gives you too much time to think. you don’t have clean clothes for him. what’s he going to wear when he comes out? you wrack your brain, and then it hits you.
when patrick finally steps out of the bathroom, damp and only in a towel slung low around his hips, your mouth goes dry. he’s standing there like some kind of ridiculous rom-com cliché, water droplets still clinging to his chest, and you can feel yourself blushing again.
“sorry,” he says sheepishly, running a hand through his wet hair. “i don’t have any clothes…”
you blink, tearing your gaze away. “right! uh, hang on. i… might have something.” you dart past him to the closet, rummaging around until you find them—his old college clothes. you’d kept them, hidden away at the back, not thinking you’d ever have a reason to pull them out again. but here they are, and you’re holding them in your hands.
“here,” you say, handing them over. “they’re, uh, yours. from… college.”
patrick looks at the clothes, then back at you, a slow smile spreading across his face. “you kept these?”
you shrug, trying to play it cool, but the warmth in his voice, the look in his eyes—it’s making your heart race again. “i guess i did,” you mumble, turning away before he can see how flustered you are.
“awww,” he teases softly, pulling the clothes from your hands. “didn’t know you were so sentimental.”
you roll your eyes, but your smile gives you away. “just put them on,” you say, trying to sound exasperated, but the blush creeping up your neck betrays you. “breakfast is almost ready.”
as he disappears back into the bathroom to change, you lean against the counter, heart pounding in your chest. what is happening here? this was supposed to be just an awkward sleepover. a kind gesture to an ex boyfriend going through hardship. but it’s starting to feel like something else entirely. and the fact that you still had his clothes—his old clothes—it’s stirring something deep inside you, something you thought you’d buried a long time ago.
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strawnarrries · 1 year ago
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because im sad about the last show, here's a little imagine about y/n and harry reminiscing the past two years the night before the last show :(
warnings: mentions of sex but nothing graphic
Your eyes fluttered open and you realized it was still dark outside, a sign that it was not quite morning just yet. You're not sure why you woke up. It was like your body knew something was off because when you turned over, the bed was empty beside you.
Rubbing your eyes to clear the sleepy haze, you noticed light coming from under the closed door of the bedroom in the villa you and Harry are staying in. Getting up out of bed, you opened the door and the sudden change in lighting burned your eyes. After getting used to it, you walked towards the kitchen and spotted your husband, leaning up against the counter, sipping on something inside of a mug.
“Harry?” you hummed, walking up to him.
“Oh hey, did I wake you up? I’m sorry," he looked up at you with doe eyes and messy hair sticking up in every direction.
“What are you doing?”
“Can’t sleep.”
You popped your bottom lip out and wrapped your arms around his bare waist, his instinctively wrapping around yours after setting his mug on the counter, “What’s wrong?”
“Nothing, I just can't believe the last show's tomorrow night.”
“Aw, I know. You wanna talk about it?” you hummed, looking up at him with tired eyes.
"I'm gonna miss it. A lot," he whispered, "but at the same time I'm excited for a long break."
"It's bittersweet."
"Yeah," he nodded.
"It's gonna be weird not getting to watch you on stage every night in your sparkly outfits."
He chuckled softly, "You don't get those outfits at home, do ya?"
"No, I get you either naked or in the one stupid shirt that you refuse to throw away even though it's practically in shreds."
"Thought you loved that shirt?" he teased.
You glared up at him before changing the subject, "What'dya think you'll miss the most? Just being on stage?"
"Yeah. Performing. It's one of my favorite things in the world to do. I just get such a rush from being out there and interacting with the fans and hearing them scream my lyrics."
"And hearing them bark at you," you added.
He giggled, "Yes, that too."
"You'll be back though. It's not the end."
“You're right. I feel like this tour was just special for some reason, I dunno. I fear I’m gonna get really emotional tomorrow on stage though. I was holding back tears at the show the other night," he chuckled.
“It’s okay to get emotional. You know me and your mom will be sobbing the entire night."
He smiled softly as he cupped your jaw and rubbed his thumb back and forth across your cheek, "I've been reflecting a lot recently. So much has happened in the last two years. It's wild."
“You've done, like what, 150 shows?”
“169 tomorrow."
“Holy shit, Harry. Most of them were completely sold out too. Do you realize how incredible that is?”
“It's mad. I think this has been the most successful tour I’ve ever been on.”
“Oh, by far.”
“Gonna miss seeing everyone every day. Gonna miss the fans and being up on stage. I've had some of the best shows of my life on this tour.”
“Harryween,” you giggled fondly at the memory that popped into your head.
“That was fun as fuck,” he giggled back.
“You’ve done more than just tour though. So many award shows, Coachella, music videos, you starred in two different movies, Harry.”
“I have,” he nodded, smiling proudly at himself, "Looking back, the amount of love and support that I've gotten from everyone, the fans, my team, my friends, and family, and from you is just - it's - it's so overwhelming like I can't even explain it to you. Like my mind can't comprehend that this is my life. Been 13 years and I still can't believe it."
"'cause you deserve it, baby. With the amount of love you give out and just the type of person you are in general, you deserve everything that's come your way. Have I ever told you how proud of you I am?" you teased, being the fact that those words leave your lips multiple times after every single one of his accomplishments.
"Never. Not once," he chuckled.
“Well, I am,” you hummed pressing a sweet kiss to his sternum, just under where his cross necklace lay, "It makes me feel so prideful that I get to call you my husband."
“Thank you, my love. You know I wouldn't be here without you.”
You rested your head on his warm chest, hugging him tighter, embracing the sweet silence before breaking it, "Can I be honest with you?”
He nodded as you looked back up at him.
“I know it's selfish but a big part of me is excited that it’s over because then I get you all to myself and don’t have to share you with the world.”
“Finally don’t have to hear you nagging for my attention all the time,” he chuckled.
“Heyyyyyy,” you whined.
“I’m joking, baby.”
You rolled your eyes teasingly.
“We have a lot to look forward to.”
“Like what?” he asked, although he knew exactly what you were referencing to, he just wanted to hear you say it.
“You becoming a daddy.”
“Really lookin forward to that. I can’t wait ‘till you have a cute little baby bump.”
“Gotta get me pregnant first.”
"You don't gotta worry 'bout that. We’re gonna be goin' at it all day every day when we’re on holiday next month,” he smirked.
“I can't even explain to you how excited I am for that. Vacation Harry is my favorite Harry."
He grinned, “I love you, Y/N."
“I love you too.”
He leaned down and pressed his lips to yours for a few sweet kisses before you hummed sleepily, “Will you come back to bed with me now?”
“Yeah, c’mon.”
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