#i love thinking about eddie <3< /div>
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iâve decided i want to do the spin the wheel game for 911 characters but instead of fmk itâs:
solve one problem in their life (you have to put in the tags what problem youâd solve for them)
put in prison (you have to put in the tags what crime theyâre getting convicted of)
have a 3 hour conversation about only 1 topic with them (you have to put in the tags what topic youâd choose)
so go on: spin the wheel for a 911 character!!!
#911#donât let this flop sksksks as you see i am bored and I genuinely think yâall can make this hilarious!!!#Iâll tell you my answer:#I got abuela!!!! and I would 100% talk to her for 3 hours just about eddie!!! i need all the intel on him!!! how has he when he was little?#what are his favorite foods? what are his most embarrassing anecdotes? what does she love most about him? whatâs her happiest memory with#him? I could honestly go for 10 hours in that convo
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stop being a goblin and let me kiss you
part 1
Ëâ§ââ ââșËłâ§àŒ ââșËłâ§àŒ
eddieâs at the diner with steve and robin, after loitering in the store for a couple hours till they could lock up and hang out. he used to go and pretend to look for something to rent but that went away after steve offered to just rent whatever he wanted with their employee discount because quote, âthen we can just all watch together!â robin may have clocked him for coming in to ogle steve but eddie likes to ignore that part. so theyâre at the diner and itâs a super fun wholesome time had all round, sharing fries and talking about dumb shit.
eddie was sitting across from steve who had ordered a strawberry milkshake like the god damn stereotype he was and eddie was very subtly taking in the view that was steve scooping his whipped cream up using the cherry on top. while also holding the conversation just fine thanks, no drool or little floating hears around his head, no no, just commentary on the state of this diners hash brows compared to one he vaguely remembered having in the spring of 75.
steve eventually stopped with the cream, putting the cherry in his mouth and eddie thought he was scott free from any further torment until steve took the stem out, having tied it in a knot in about three second flat. like it was nothing, like it was easy, simple, a day to day steve harrington move. which eddie supposed it kind of could be considering the guys reputation. but still. fuck!
then like a demon, steve fucking winks at him. fully just sending eddie into orbit. choking on his soda like an idiot.
heâs beet red and he knows it. robin seems none the wiser waxing lyrical about mint chocolate ice cream but eddie honestly thinks she might just be throwing him and bone. gay solidarity or whatever. steve however, must know nothing of gay solidarity because if he did he would not be so homosexual in front of eddies desperate, filthy, virgin eyes.
eddie excuses himself to the bathroom, being his own saving grace for once. just needing a little break from stupid steve and his stupid skilled tongue. definitely ignoring robin slapping steve on the arm and his mirth filled âwhat? what? he liked it bobbie!â
Ëâ§ââ ââșËłâ§àŒ ââșËłâ§àŒ
part 2 (steve) part 3 (eddie) part 4 (steve) part 5 (eddie) part 6 (steve) part 7 (eddie)
#steddie#steve x eddie#just silly really#i dunno#guess iâm thinking about cocky steve again hehe#<3#hotlunch#or comfortable#bisexual steve harrington#my love#virgin eddie munson#a slay#my fic#stop being a goblin and let me kiss you
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eddie âIâm not really a jewelry kind of guyâ diaz, but the moment that him and buck get engaged he will be the type of person to continuously stare at his ring in awe as he realizes how much itâs a small reminder and a symbol on the love they both share for each other and that they are getting ready to get committed for life and how at the end of the day they have had each others back since day one and how they both have never felt a love like theirs before and that this is eddie choosing who he wishes to now enter a marriage with for life without the pressure to abide by his religious background and parents questioning his choices because he is being selfish and choosing for himself for once in his life and buck who is choosing to enter a marriage with someone that he knows he will be his number one priority and that he never has to have doubts that eddie would leave him because even when they argue and disagree, they always have care and love for one another despite anything and how they know each other so well they understand each other like no one else
#and I hate how much I manage to always think about the idiots in love#eddie we are so one step closer to getting you out#this show has consumed my every wake thought#I am so excited and nervous for season 8 the energy is truly spectacular#going through some of my drafts lol#stoner steph thoughts#eddie diaz#evan buckley#buddie#911#911 season 3#911 s3#911 abc#911 fox#911 on abc#911 on fox
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i just think if roles were reversed and buck was the one saying those gay ass lines to eddie, eddie wouldve proposed like four seasons ago
#like if buck had a kid and he said to eddie âtheres no one in this world i trust with my kid more than youâ eddie wouldve given him head#if buck had written him into his will and said âbecause eddie (cuz im sorry but buck loves eddies name too much to not use it)#you act like youre expendable but youre wrongâ eddie wouldve been like on his knees begging for buck to move in already#or if eddie did something reckless and after told buck he had to do it and buck just looked at him fondly and said âi know you didâ#eddie wouldve dragged his ass to the nearest jewelry store to get them matching rings#or if someone off handedly mentioned how long he was dead/underground/uhhh bleeding out from his gunshot wound#and buck corrected them and said âum no actually it was 3 minutes and 17 before we got to the hospitalâ eddie wouldve done unspeakable#things to him in the bathroom of that underground poker club#or if eddie came out to buck and buck gave him a similar supportive little talk and said âthis doesnt change a thing between usâ#eddie wouldve been like âuh no actually it does get in the fucking car rnâ and driven them to the courthouse so they could get married#basically#eddie says the gayest shit to buck all the time but buck just hears it as Normal Bro Things because hes never had a normal friend before so#he had nothing to really compare it to#but if buck were to say this kinda gay shit to eddie#eddie would immediately be like oh youre in love with me because eddie is a romantic and knows declarations of love when he hears them#however#buck communicates his feelings with flirting but eddie is fucking stupid and has no game and no rizz and doesnt realize hes flirting#eddie communicates his feelings with grand declarations of love but buck is fucking stupid and doesnt realize people actually care about hi#they need to flip communication styles and then theyll realize#buddie#evan buckley#eddie diaz#get him out of there#let eddie free so he can finally have game#omg no or if eddie had done something that kinda pissed buck off and buck just looked at him after eddie apologized and said âofc i forgive#youâ well there wouldve been something freaky going on in the firehouse closets that halloween#me thinks
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Iâm genuinely so fucking sick of the âyou all would have loved it if it was Eddie who made that commentâ take.
First of all, Eddie wouldnât have made comment then, bc he knows how hard it is for Buck to talk about his emotions, & is REALLY good at giving him the space to talk about them, even if he does make jokes, theyâre not out of pocket (the coming out scene, anyone? Breaking the tension with a joke & still being supportive without making a joke of his feelings.)
Secondly, even if Eddie DID make that comment, Iâd probably still roll my eyes, but Iâd be more willing to accept it. Do you wanna know why???
Who was the person that knew the details of what Buck was talking to his therapist about during their emergency session before the Buckleyâs visit? Who is the first one they show at Buckâs side when he gets stuck in the warehouse trying to pull Saleh out after learning about Daniel?? Who is the one who was pacing downstairs in the station & making sure Buck was okay after the warehouse, and the one who warned him about his visitors??
Who was the one praying at Bobbyâs bedside, right next to Buck in the hospital?
(Iâll give you a hint, itâs not the dude thatâs had 10 minutes of fucking screen time that everyone forgot about post s1.)
It wouldnât have been the same bc TOMMY AND EDDIE ARE NOT THE SAME. They are not on the same level of knowing Buck & understanding when to make jokes & what jokes to make. Your best friend, partner & co-parent of 6 years and the man that you havenât even called your boyfriend yet are not on the same level of familiarity.
I get that youâre pissed that Tommy is being compared to Buckâs previous love interests (which would be the case, even if he wasnât just as shitty & uninterested in Buck as a person as they all were) but if you genuinely think that heâs anywhere near Eddieâs level, EVEN PLATONICALLY, then I fear that you have been watching another show entirely, & I encourage you to watch more than just s7, bc thatâs the only explanation I can come up with for why this fuck ass take exists.
#911 abc#buddie#this isnât really about the buddie relationship but I think itâs still relevant#Iâm so tempted to tag BT bc I think the ones saying this have lost the entire plot of the fucking show#but Iâve also only had like 8 hours of sleep in 2 days#& have almost had 3 panic attacks since Wednesday so I know Iâd probably regret it#911 discourse#hating on a storyline/joke/character â hating on a bunch of fans bc they donât enjoy the same things that you do#eddie diaz#evan buckley#ryan guzman#oliver stark#this could have been a sweet moment to show Tommy taking care of Buck#but instead he made yet ANOTHER shitty & ill timed joke#Eddie has been right beside Buck through his entire journey with his parents#that gives him the right to joke about it#a man who Buckâs been on 3-4 dates with & hasnât put any effort into their relationship since he planned the date#that he subsequently walked out in the middle of#does not have the same right#this is genuinely not a difficult concept??#like. think about your bff & then think about a new love interest. would you really be comfortable with those 2 people making the same joke#or would you laugh at your best friendâs & be a little off-put by your new potential love intrest???#anti T*van#I heard that tagging something as anti still shows up on that tag & Im just too tired to fucking fight
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When Eddie said â3 minutes and 17 secondsâ you could hear the possessiveness in his voice. Like these people were making the situation not serious enough. They were taking the fact that his Buck died too lightly. It was possessive, it was âyou werenât there when the lightning struck. You didnât have to live without him, for 3 minutes and 17 seconds, in agony. You didnât have to know he was dead and possibly not waking back up for 3 minutes and 17 seconds.â It was âthe love of my life was dead for 3 minutes and 17 seconds. And I died with him for those 3 minutes and 17 seconds. And I donât know if I ever came back. I wonât ever get those 3 minutes and 17 seconds back.â
3 minutes and 17 seconds too long.
#3 minutes and 17 seconds#poker date#Eddie is so possessive of buck#and I love him for it#they really need to have a conversation about the trauma the other has to go through while thinking theyâre dead#evan buckley#911 fox#911 show#911onfox#eddie diaz#buddie#buddie 911#911 on fox#buck x eddie#911 spoilers
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something something noodling on buck and eddie and forced boundaries. this is word salad btw with no real argument but hopefully its a side that not too many people have written. (written before 8x03-06 airing. so if im completely wrong there will be egg on my face and that is okay because almost nothing is unequivocally true in creative media analysis world.) and also this is super long sorry
i keep thinking about the way they merge buck and eddie's storylines in 7x05, not just on screen in their encounter at the restaurant, but thematically.
first, a really important part of the buck and eddie dynamic is that the two are having an intense emotional affair, and have been since season 3. but, they've always operated across the lines of plausible deniability and they're both likely oblivious to this. they're both "straight." so, anything they do can be chalked up to normalbestfriendbehavior, because there's no way they'd ever physically cheat with each other. they both consider that to be the threshold for cheating, as evidenced by buck and eddie's agreeance that he is not cheating on marisol with kim because they haven't had sex.
7x05 is titled "you don't know me," and that's the central theme for everyone. the episode is mostly about hen and karen, but also continues to weave buck, eddie, and tommy together.
there's the "eddie doesn't know about buck's sexuality exploration and buck feels guilty about this" aspect, but this applies to eddie's solo storyline too.
eddie finds out that marisol used to be a nun. he claims that this has unearthed his catholic guilt, but we know that it never really went away for him, it just became easier for him to repress himself. eddie, even though he claims to not be actively a believer, knows that he is lying to himself about being into marisol, and thinks that god has sent him a reminder that he's watching him. even if he doesn't consciously understand that it's because he's not into women as a whole, he realized his tendency to stay in relationships where he's not happy from his breakup with ana. so he Has to know that he's not genuinely in it. this is also why buck's pointing out that she voluntarily left the convent doesn't bring him any comfort- because he's already decided that marisol is a direct link to god and His disappointment in eddie (as evidenced by his vision of marisol as the virgin mary)
eddie can't have sex with her anymore, the one activity that, to him, proves he's at least attracted to his partner. he's fully prepared to break up with marisol over this, and even hides out at buck's.
buck doesn't realize this at the time because he's too focused on his own guilt, but eddie is looking for his approval to break up with marisol. eddie always does what buck thinks is best for him. he makes the excuse that it's because they're best friends and he trusts his opinion, but i think he knows there's something more to it.
but buck can't give him his approval. because buck cannot fathom that eddie is offering himself up because the idea of marisol is standing between them. the two of them are similar in this way, and that's why they're so fascinating: they're both extremely passive in their romantic pursuits because they lack 1. self esteem and 2. awareness to pursue what they actually want. buck because of his childhood/past relationships and eddie because of his upbringing/grief/repression
buck (and also eddie, but specifically buck) is a huge flirt. however, he'll rarely cross the boundary of platonic activity before the other person does (i genuinely think the last time was abby, but that was his first relationship so its weird hybrid of active and passive tendencies).
he'll flirt and flirt until the other person makes a move, i.e. asking him out or kissing him. he wants them to prove they're choosing him. once they do, he clings. they broke this pattern with his breakup from taylor (even though i consider that a special circumstance) and natalia by having buck leave them, but T may be a return to form. more on that later...
eddie offers himself to buck by letting him choose if he should break up with marisol. buck is oblivious to it because he's too focused on his own guilt of keeping a part of himself "unknown" from eddie. buck confesses about tommy. eddie does not comment on buck's sexuality, he is only surprised at tommy's. buck looks for reassurance there: is it weird that i was on a date with a man? eddie, in his attempt to offer comfort, re-draws the line between them: "this doesn't change a thing between us." what he means is that he's not weirded out, but what buck hears is "i'm straight, so don't even try it."
so, when eddie, who is subconsciously looking for buck to step over the line, asks him about what he thinks he should do, buck doubles down on wanting tommy. eddie, hearing the message, encourages buck to try again. eddie goes home and hits the restart button on his relationship with marisol. he convinces himself that maybe if they start over, it'll work this time.
he tells her that he feels like he doesn't know her well and that they moved too fast. normally, people in this type of situation would just move on and find someone else. but instead, eddie is desperate to stay in this relationship with marisol because buck has stepped over the line of plausible deniability in their relationship, and drawn a new one. buck is officially attracted to men. if eddie's relationship falls apart and buck is not with someone else, the lines start to blur.
later, buck and T get coffee. tommy points out that the two of them don't know anything about each other. they agree to start their relationship and do it "right." the same way eddie and marisol agree to reset theirs.
and the two of them cling to these relationships. marisol ends her and eddie's relationship after finding out about kim. buck remains with tommy despite awkward dates, likely because he is also excited to explore himself (as he is one to do) but also likely because he walked close to that line when he came out to eddie, and felt like he was pushed back.
but i think the sentiment of "you don't know me" really applies for buck and T's relationship as a whole. again, they started with buck flirting and toeing the line until T stepped over it by kissing him, then asking him out.
there's a whole lot of discourse on here and twitter about t's awkward flirting, flippant attitude, and dismissive comments. the thing about this is, likely none of it is tommy purposely trying to hurt buck. tommy does not know buck. he doesn't know that these are things that he is sensitive about, or that hurts him. and buck doesn't communicate when he's uncomfortable. he just internalizes it and focuses on trying to make his partners stay. and tommy will not know buck. buck ingratiates tommy in his life by inviting him to family events, but he doesn't actually open up to tommy or tell him when he's misreading him. it gives both of them a sense of false intimacy.
they're three months in at least, and tommy and buck are still, as oliver said, "getting to know each other." but they both agreed to "get to know each other" and go for it at their coffee date, and here they are months later. not having moved... i hope that holding back his own baggage is going to bite buck in the ass just as much as tommy's past is.
(and by god i hope it is tommy's racist past that gets revealed because FUCK him. but based on what oliver said about buck weighing if he should make it work im not sure they're going to address it. bc if buck found that out i do think he'd end the relationship w little/no debate)
but this is all very interesting to me.. personally i want to see buck explore his sexuality on his own for a little because i think it would be beautiful and he deserves that but i do think he is going to be a little desperate to stay in this relationship if they don't go the gerrard/tommy past route.. but god buck and eddie are so awesomely freakish about each other sometimes
#this post is kinda nothingsoup#also important to clarify that eddies affair w kim was very much about his grief and relationship w shannon and not buck at all#but the kim of it all isnt my focus for eddie in this post#more his decision to stay w marisol despite it clearly not working before kim was in the pic#if you disagree with me fundamentally then. sorry! but its all on screen analysis and changes whenever new material comes out so#like if tim minear did an interview and said that's not it at all girl i would be like okay <3 love you#this isn't even that anti BT even tho i am buddienation. i do just think b and t fundamentally dont understand or know each other.#but i cant just ignore tommys past even if the writers want to LOL#9-1-1#media analysis#buddie#buck and eddie#evan buckley#eddie diaz#long post#text#half baked idea from my twitter#very long post#sorry everyone#but i had shit to SAY!#911 on abc#911
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welcome to eden
this is a love letter. inspired by this song
As soon as Steve picks up the phone, she knows sheâs making a mistake.
âRob?â
âNo,â she says instead of hanging up like she should.Â
âNancy?â He sounds more alert now, and she can picture him standing up straighter, calling to attention at the sound of her voice. âWhatâs wrong? Are you okay?âÂ
âNot really,â she sniffs, hating herself for it. âIâcan we talk?â
Heâll say no. Heâll say no, because itâs one in the morning and he was probably asleep before the phone rang and she shouldnât be asking to talk years after she broke his heart and didnât even rememberâ
âOf course,â he says, and Nancy could kick herself. âOver the phone?â
âNo. Not over the phone. Iâm sorry, it can wait, you can go back to bed.â
She hears him huff a laugh, even though thereâs nothing funny about any of it. âI wasnât in bed,â he assures her. âAm I picking you up?â
Tears spring anew to her eyes. âIf thatâs okay.â
âWorks for me,â he says. âSee you soon.â
âSee you,â she echoes, and hangs up.Â
She spends the time it takes pacing quietly in front of the front door, berating herself for using him like this. But she needs to talk to him, and the sooner itâs over with the better.Â
Headlights cut through the window way too soon, and she nearly throws herself out the door.Â
She gives him a look when she opens the car door, telling him she knows how many traffic laws he must have broken to get here this quick. He just grins in return, ready to point out the felony in her closet.Â
âWhere are we going?â He asks, and her heart clenches. Heâs so good. Heâs so good, and she couldnât-canât love him like he wants. She has to tell him.Â
Tonight probably wasnât the best night for this conversation, but her skin feels like itâs peeling off and the faster she says something the quicker it will be over with and she can go back to how it was before. Back when she didnât have anyone to talk to, because Robin might never speak to her again after she breaks her best friend's heart for the second time.Â
Just rip the bandaid off, Nance.Â
âI donât know,â she says instead. Maybe sheâs a coward. âA field? Somewhere I can see the stars.â
âI can do that.â
The drive goes by in silence, Nancy staring stubbornly out the window. She can feel Steve periodically checking on her, and she knows he wants to know why she called. She canât open her mouth to say it in the suffocating enclosure of the car. She rolls down a window.Â
They get to a field almost out of Hawkins, and the car is barely in park before sheâs climbing out, going around to sit on the hood. Steve cuts the engine and follows.Â
She still doesnât say anything. She called him to have a talk, why canât she just open her stupid mouthâ
âNancy?â Steve asks, gentle in a way that used to make her melt. She pulls her legs to her chest, feeling vulnerable. âWhatâs wrong?â
âJonathan and I broke up,â she finally gets out.Â
âOh shit.â He looks genuinely surprised. âThat sucks, Iâm sorry.â
âYeah, well, it was never going to be forever.â Except sheâd thought otherwise. She thought they were Nancy and Jonathan, the two of them against the world. She hunches her shoulders. âWe never talk anymore, and he was pulling away from me, and he was lying to me for months-â she shakes her head, clearing the anger she feels at that. âIt doesnât matter. Iâm starting to realize thereâs things I need to work on, too. A lot to work on, actually.â
âI donât know what that could be,â he says, flashing her a smile filled with boyish, roguish charm. âYouâre already the best person I know.â
She sniffs, and suddenly sheâs crying into her knees, shoulders shaking. He freezes beside her, before wrapping an arm around her and pulling her into his side. She leans in for a second, chasing the comfort, before remembering what she came here to do and ripping away violently.Â
âFuck,â she whispers. âFuck, Iâm so sorry. I donâtâI canâtâthis isnât what Iââ
âHey,â he soothes. âSlow down. Let it out.â
She wipes her eyes, suddenly furious. âI donât want to date you,â she says, finally looking him in the eyes. âI donâtâIâm sorry for calling you. I just remembered how much better you used to make me feel, but then I realized thatâs likeâŠreally shitty of me.â
âWhy?â He asks, as if Nancy didnât come out here to break his heart again. âI want to make you feel better. I like knowing I can make you feel better.â
âI donât want to lead you on,â she says, mouth screwing up. âThatâs why I called you out here. And I know itâs shitty of meââ
âNancy, youâre not leading me on. IâŠI donât want to date you either.â
That stops her in her tracks. âOh.â
âYeah, oh,â he echoes quietly. âIâdonât take this the wrong way, okay, âcause I know Iâm gonna sound like an asshole saying it, but, uh, I canât do that again. And even outside of that, I donât like you that way anymore. Uh, sorry.â
She tries not to sag at the overwhelming relief she feels at that.Â
âAre you sure?â She studies him closely, trying to see if heâs saying this for her sake or if he means it. âBack in the Upside-Down, and when we were fighting Venca, it seemedâŠâ
He grimaces, and Nancy thinks if it wasnât dark sheâd see the beginning of an embarrassed flush on his ears. âIâŠmay have been feeling things,â he admits. âI was testing the waters, I guess. I started feeling nostalgic, and you were there, and everyone was encouraging me, and it all just ended up in this weirdâŠfeelings soup. Sorry.â
âYou said you wanted to have six kids with me,â Nancy reminds him. âAnd travel the country in a Winnebago.â
He groans, covering his face with his hands. âI am,â he says, âso sorry. I donât know why I said that. That had to be so weird for you.â
âIt was kind of sweet?â She tries, not letting her relief show. Not yet.Â
âWe havenât been together in years, and I decided to tell you I used to dream about you having my babies. How do you deal with me?â
âWell it helps to know you were dropped on your head. Puts everything in perspective.â
âYeah, yeah, yuk it up.â He looks at her, really looks at her, and she tries not to fidget under his gaze. Too earnest, too caring for someone who doesnât deserve it. Heâs always tried so hard. To woo her, to be a better person, to keep back the vicious streak she still sees in him. âI meant it, when I said I loved you,â he tells her gently, no sign of that cruelty that had him painting her as a whore for the whole town to see. âBack then, I mean. I just wanted you to know that.â
She wants to cry. âI know. Iâm sorry I couldnât say it back.â
âItâs okay,â he says like he means it. He leans back against the windshield, looking at the sky. After a moment, she copies him.Â
They watch the stars together, and the air feels clearer.Â
âWhere do we go from here?â She asks, afraid of the answer.Â
âWhat do you mean?â
âWhat happens with us now?â
âWell,â he says gingerly, like heâs testing the waters. âI donât know about you, but Iâve heard youâre a pretty kickass friend.â
Friends. She doesnât know that she and Steve have ever been friends, not properly. Even after the apologies they made to each other, she doesnât know that she could call what they had friendship. It wasnât substantial on its own, needing Jonathan as the barrier between them. When it fell, so did they.Â
âI havenât had a friend in a while,â she admits. âRobin is kind of a novelty for me. Sheâs amazing.â
Itâs funny, in a way. She was so jealous of Robin, of how close she was with Steve in a way Nancy wasnât. Sheâd thought, at first, that it was because they were so clearly dating. After Robin told her they werenât, she realized how badly sheâd just wanted friends. She missed hanging out with Steve, missed his laugh and his squint and his bitchy attitude. Sheâd hoped that eventually theyâd get to that point, was sure they were almost there before Starcourt. In a way, sheâd been jealous of Robin for stealing Steve. She knew it was ridiculous. Steve had found a friend, a real friend who hadnât cheated on him or slept with his girlfriend. She couldnât begrudge him that.Â
She just missed him.Â
âShe is, isnât she?â Steve grins, but sobers up quickly. âI didnât really think about that. How lonely you must be, sinceâŠâ
Sheâs already shaking her head. âItâs not your fault. I didnât reach out.âÂ
âI didnât exactly reach out either.â
They fall silent again, at a loss for words. Barbâs death, as always, the canyon between them.Â
Finally Nancy huffs. âItâs both of our faults,â she declares, âor neither of our faults. I donât know. I just missed you.â
âWell shit, Nance, I missed you too,â he says, touched.Â
âIâve heard youâre a pretty kickass friend too, you know,â she says, glancing at him. He smiles.Â
âOh yeah?â
âYeah.â
âWell, Nancy Wheeler, I would be honored to be friends with you,â he says, and sticks out his hand to shake, like theyâre meeting for the first time.Â
She stares at him, and starts laughing. âYouâre an idiot, Steve Harrington.â
She shakes his hand.Â
Max has always felt like a mirror. One Nancy wanted to smash, pull her out of the shards of her reflective grief and hug. Stroke her hair the way she wanted someone to do for her and say youâll get through this. So Max could hear it from someone who knows.Â
Except Nancy doesnât know anything. Still drowns in her guilt, the ball and chain dragging her into the depths. She canât help when sheâs still such a mess, three years later.Â
Her hands clench when Mike says Max is pulling away from Lucas. She wishes she could look her in the eye and tell her you donât have to be me. You can be better.Â
Sheâs Mikeâs friend. They barely know each other outside of a quick hello as they cross paths or fighting monsters. Max has enough on her plate, she doesnât need her friendâs weird older sister butting in to tell her how to mourn the right way.Â
Nancy just hopes sheâs getting out of bed. Remembering to eat. Brushing her teeth. She had more cavities in the year after Barb died than sheâd ever had in her life, and she knows Max doesnât have insurance.Â
Now, sitting next to Maxâs hospital bed, Nancy wishes sheâd reached out.Â
With school back comes studying, and with studying comes Eddie Munson, in all his super-senior glory. Nancy is going to get him a diploma if it kills her.Â
He laughs when she tells him so. âShit, Wheeler,â he says. âThe day something manages to get you is the day this shithole goes down for good.â
Robin turns down her offer to form a study group. âIâm pretty sure if I joined, Iâd just distract Eddie, and let him distract me, and weâd end up throwing things at each other until you killed us. Sorry. Steveâs going to help me study for finals, though!â
She looks at Steve, eyebrow raised. Sheâs pretty sure itâs fair to be dubious, since she was the reason Steve passed his finals in the first place.Â
âIâm her rubber duck,â he says as an explanation, and she nods in understanding.Â
Her mom isnât about to let her study alone with a boy in her room, though, and especially not a boy like Eddie, so she drags him to the library three times a week. He complains, he bitches, he tells her he doesnât care about his fucking history class anymore. She just hands him a Rubikâs Cube she found to keep his hands busy as she quizzes him.Â
Three sessions in, he slowly puts a worksheet down and screams into his hands.Â
âStop that!â She kicks him in the shin. âIf you get me kicked out of the library Iâm never forgiving you.â
âI canât do it,â he says, staring up at the ceiling. âIâm so fucking stupid, Nancy. I canât even get past question two. Is this torture? Did I die and go to hell? That would be fitting, wouldnât it? Doomed to repeat high school for the rest of eternity?â
âStupidâ her ass. She knows what kind of work goes into those campaigns of his, has absently flipped through his annotated fantasy novels and left feeling as if sheâd seen the story anew. Plus, she went and made a tape of everyoneâs favorite songs, just in case, and she knew damn well how quickly heâd taught himself to play the song he did in the Upside-Down. âStupidâ and âEddie Munsonâ donât belong in the same sentence, much less belong in the same space in his brain. She hates Hawkins High just a little bit more for it. âStop being dramatic. What are you stuck on?â
âFucking nothing! I canât focus, itâs driving me fucking insane. I keep trying, I swear, but itâs like I canât even read anymore! This always happens, I swear to God itâs killing me more than the fucking demobats ever did.â
âDonât joke about that,â she snaps. âYouâre smart, Eddie, you know that. You just need to try.â
His face twists, and she realizes that was the wrong thing to say.Â
âOh, thank you, Miss Wheeler, why havenât I thought of that? Sorry for wasting your time, Iâll get out of your perfect hair nowââ
âSit down,â she protests as he gathers up his stuff. âEddie, Iâll help you work through the problem, okay? Just sit down, please.â
âNo, Nancy!â He swings around, eyes wild. âItâs what everyone always says. Just sit still, stop doodling, be quiet, pay attention, try fucking harderâŠI tried, okay! Iâve been trying, I tried for fifteen fucking years, and I canât do it! I might as well just drop out and get it over with. Iâm fucking sick of this.â
âOkay!â She feels herself getting riled up. âYou want to fail so bad, fine! Iâm not your keeper, do whatever you want.â
âI will!â
âFine!â
âFine!â
They stare at each other, not moving. Finally Eddie storms off in a huff, flinging open the library door in a grand gesture she pretends not to see. Thereâs a sinking feeling in her stomach, but she can ignore it.Â
She pretends not to notice when he comes slinking back five minutes later, shuffling his feet.Â
âSorry.â
âFor what?â She asks primly, going over her notes.Â
âNancy, please.â
She sighs. âIâm sorry too. Iâm justâŠfrustrated.â
âIâve been told Iâm pretty frustrating,â he offers.Â
âItâs notâŠâ
âIt is,â he says, sitting down. âItâs okay. God knows I piss myself off with this shit.â
She studies him, looking over his defeated face like heâs one of her flashcards. âYouâre trying your best,â she says, sounding it out. She canât really make sense of it. After all, trying her best has always been straight Aâs, not stopping until she knew everything she needed to and more.Â
âItâs not good enough.â
âIt will be,â she says. âYouâve got me this time.â
âListen, I know youâre trying to helpââ
âDo you want fries?â
âWhat?â He blinks at her, shocked, as she starts packing up her things. Â
âWeâre not getting anywhere today. Sometimes you have to step back, and come back with a clearer head.â Usually she locks her door and cleans her guns, the repetitive motion soothing her mind until she can think again, but she has a feeling that wonât work for Eddie.Â
âI usually just give up.â
âI donât. Get your backpack, weâre going to the diner. Dinnerâs on me tonight.â
At the diner, he makes her laugh so hard soda comes out her nose. The next day, they go to the library again.Â
After a couple of days, he solves the cube. After three weeks, he nearly kicks her door down rushing to show her the B he got on a test.Â
Two months later, he throws his cap into the air and his cane on the ground. Swings her around, both of them laughing.Â
âNancy fucking Wheeler!â He crows. âAchieving the impossible yet again!â
âEddie, put me down!â She shrieks gleefully as he stumbles. She barely makes it back to solid ground before two more bodies are slamming into them, Steve and Robin whooping in their ears.Â
It was weird, to see Steve and Robin effortlessly communicate the way she and Jonathan always had and have it be so unabashedly unromantic. Sheâd always thought that knowing someone like that was a sign you were meant to be, and they did it while still loudly proclaiming Platonic with a capital P.Â
She and Jonathan didnât do it much anymore. It was like dancing to a song that was always a beat off, syncing for just one moment before stumbling again, unsure that they were still allowed this.Â
Sheâd known him better than anyone, once, and heâd known her the same. Now she wonders if that was ever true.Â
âSo,â Eddie says, throwing himself onto her bed. âSteve.â
She sits in her desk chair, raising an eyebrow. âWhat about him?â
âYou broke up with Jonathan, right? Are you going to get back with him? I thought you would, but it's been months and neither of you said anything.â
âNo,â she says. âNo, thatâs not what I want. Itâs not what either of us want.â
âReally?â He rolls over, eyes searching. âWhat happened there, anyway? With both your boys. Iâm a nosy little asshole, and I wanna hear it from you.â
It makes her laugh, the way he admits to it so freely. He grins wolfishly at her, baring his teeth in a grin. Thatâs probably why she tells him the truth.Â
âI wasnât okay, when I was with Steve,â she says honestly. âI was distant, grievingâŠI was a mess, and I stayed with him because I didnât know what else to do. With JonathanâŠI was getting closure, I was healing, and things were good between us. They were so good, but after a while, we just started toâŠdeteriorate. I donât know if we lost momentum, or if the stress just got to us, but we started fighting more and more,â She traces the desk with a finger, remembering the sour taste of Oliver Twist on her tongue. It was a shitty thing to say. âI thought weâd figured it out, for a little while, but then we justâŠstopped talking. I think, maybe if weâd talked more, we could have worked it out. But IâmâŠnot upset that we didnât, you know?â
Itâs a different kind of loneliness when your partner wonât talk to you. It was different than grieving, different than not having anyone to talk to at all. Because even when she didnât have friends, she had Jonathan. And then, slowly, she didnât anymore.Â
âNancy, youâre one of my best friends, so-â
âSteve is your best friend.â
âSteve is my best best friend,â she agrees. âBut heâs also more than that? Like, I think weâre literally soulmates. Platonic with a capital P soulmates, but, like, it feels like more than friendship sometimes? Like sometimes itâs like he can literally feel my bad days even when I havenât talked to him yet. He told me once he just knows sometimes. Itâs like I hit my hip on my desk and he felt it, but emotionally. Itâs wild. Itâs like the drugs literally combined our minds. Where was I going with this?â
âI donât know,â she says, slightly bewildered. She wants to ask how they do that, but Robin barrels forward.Â
âRight. So outside of mine and Steveâs platonic more-than-friendship, youâre kind of my best friend? And youâre, like, the coolest person I know.â
She blinks. Sheâs not sure sheâs ever been described as cool before.Â
After Barb, Nancy tried to cut her own hair.Â
Her mom found her in the bathroom, unshed tears in her eyes and hair a mess on the sink and floor.Â
She hadnât laughed, hadn't said oh, honey, your beautiful hair. Just clucked her tongue and took the scissors from her hands. Stepped behind her and took over, took the uneven mess and made it something good, something presentable.Â
She didnât say anything until she was done, setting the scissors on the counter. âSometimes,â she said, wetting her lips. âSometimes we need a change, before we can move forward.â
The closer she gets to Emerson, the more she feels like sheâs letting someone down. Mike. Max. Jonathan. All the people who have relied on her, all the people who trusted her to fight.
In a strange turn of events, her mom is the only one she doesnât feel is disappointed in her. Her mom is more excited about college than she is sometimes. Chattering excitedly over dishes about the classes sheâs going to take as Nancy dries and smiles and tries not to feel like the ground is being pulled from under her feet.
This is everything sheâs ever wanted. Why does it feel so wrong?
She takes Eddie to the gun range, because having a gun in her hands has always made her feel safer. More in control. More like the badass protector she wants to be, than the scared little girl she feels sometimes.Â
Eddie stares down the scope of the gun and shoots like he has experience, but doesnât hit a single bullseye.Â
âYour hands are shaking.â
âIâm in a fucking gun range and a bunch of small town hicks were hunting me not too long ago,â he snaps, taking another shot and missing the target completely. He swears and changes the magazine. âExcuse me if Iâm a little bit on edge.âÂ
She hadnât really thought of it like that. âYou didnât have to come,â she says. âI just thought with everything thatâs happened, you should know how to use one. Just in case.â
âI know how to use a gun,â he rolls his eyes.Â
âYou know how to shoot one.â She looks from him to the target pointedly. âNot the same thing.â
âDeep. I could really feel the judgement there. Tell me, is there anything else wrong with me?â
âThereâs security cameras all over this place. Weâre not in Hawkins, so thereâs no mob coming after you. Iâm here, and I do know how to use a gun. No one is going to hurt you here.â
âI know all that.â
âDo you?â
He scowls at her. She looks back unflinchingly. Sheâs been here plenty of times, and the guys laughed at her until they didnât anymore. By the time she brought Eddie, all she got was a raised eyebrow and a âboyfriend?â from Hunter at the desk. She didnât know what was more incriminating, so she just shrugged.Â
âYouâre kind of a pain in the ass, you know that?â
She rolls her eyes, taking the gun from his hands and lining up a shot. âIâve heard worse,â she says, thinking about Nancy Dre-ew, and Nancy âthe slutâ Wheeler, and priss, and shoots. It hits the bullseye.Â
So do her next five shots.Â
Eddie looks begrudgingly impressed when she reloads and hands the gun back to him. Itâs more satisfying than it should be, to realize that while heâd known she had guns heâs never seen her actually shoot before.Â
She raises a challenging eyebrow at him, and he huffs around a smile. âAll right, all right,â he says good naturedly. âLetâs try this again.â
He does a little better this time around, now that heâs actually trying. He does a little dance when he hits one of the inner rings.Â
âTake that!â He crows. âI bet Steve couldnât do this. In your face, Harrington!â
âHeâs much more of a close-combat kind of guy, isnât he?â Nancy agrees.Â
âOh, yeah, definitely,â he says. âDoes he really have a bat with nails?â
She blinks, caught off guard by the fact that Eddie hadnât seen it. She never registered that he hadnât used it during Vecna. Something about the fact seems weird somehow, as if it was as integral to Steve as his coiffed hair. âHe keeps it in his trunk.â
âYou and Byers need to update your Steve manuals. He said itâs under his bed now.â
âAh,â Nancy says, thinking of all the times sheâs slept with her pistol under her pillow. Empty, because sheâs not stupid enough to sleep with a loaded gun when her little brother sometimes wakes her up after a nightmare, but the comforting weight of it alone makes it easier.Â
âJust tell me one thing,â he says, widening his eyes imploringly at her. âDid he look as sexy as I think he did? Byers wonât give me a straight answer.â
Itâs a joke, but his cheeks are a little pink. Sheâs not dumb, sheâs seen the looks the two of them share, as if he and Steve were circling each other. Caught in a whirlpool, waiting for the moment the vortex would drag them down and they could finally touch.Â
The looks between Eddie and Jonathan, too, that share a certain camaraderie she doesnât entirely understand and at the same time understands all too well. Steve and Jonathan had always had a strange relationship, too close to not be friendship but not quite there. Surprisingly enough it was better after she and Steve broke up, Jonathan no longer avoiding them and the talk sheâd forced the three of them into clearing the air. Sometimes, sheâd wake up to Jonathan climbing into her bed, smelling of cigarettes and a hint of something stronger, and heâd tell her it was Steve who drove him there.Â
Sheâs a journalist. Itâs her job to notice things. She just wasnât ready to confront that reality, where the two boys sheâd wanted wanted each other as well. But sheâs grown since then.Â
She also knows that whoever Steve chooses, it wonât be easy.Â
âYou know,â she says, considering, âwhen we were dating, Steve never pressed me up against the wall or anything youâd expect from the King.â
Eddie gets this look on his face, caught between confusion and caught out. ââŠokay? Did you want him to do that or something? Are you trying to ask me to hint to him?â
âNo,â she says. âIâm just saying, he never did any of that. It was kind of funny. He always made it so that he was the one pressed against the wall.â
Eddie misses the next five shots entirely, and she laughs at him through it all.
Sheâs hyper aware of touching other girls now. She didnât used to be. Even with Robin, who is a lesbian and definitely wonât hate her. Whoâs probably gone through the same thing. She canât help it.Â
What if they get the wrong idea? What if someone else sees? What if they can tell, what if they know, what if they hate me?
She hates feeling like this. She doesnât know why it started, doesnât know whatâs wrong with her. Sheâs no stranger to casual affectionâor at least she didnât used to be. Why does it make her feel so tense now? Itâs been years since she realized she liked girls, shouldnât this have happened back then?
Deep down, she knows why. The Reagan sign in her front yard. Her dad sitting in his chair, the news always on. âAlways that nasty disease, Karen, I swear some people are just asking for it.â Sheâs always known she could never tell him, but now she knows that if she gets sick heâll say she deserves it. She doesnât know what her mother thinks. Sheâs afraid to find out.Â
Sheâs growing up, and her fear is growing with her.Â
Objectively, Nancy knows she and Eddie donât make sense.Â
Theyâre not cut from the same cloth, like Steve and Robin. They donât calm each other down, like Jonathan and Argyle. Theyâre too different, too alike in all the wrong ways, for them to get along. Theyâre both snappy, a little mean. Eddieâs dramatic enough to get on her nerves, and sheâs prim enough to get on his. At their worst, they have earth shattering arguments that end in them not speaking to each other for days.Â
When people see them walking down the street together, they whisper about âthat nice girl Nancy Wheelerâ and âthat awful Munson boy.â
Itâs not fair, never has been. Nancy hasnât felt nice for a long time, maybe before Barb ever disappeared. Eddie isnât always particularly nice either, but the court of public opinion takes it to extremes, twists him into something cruel instead of the kindness he carries under his leather armor. Someone to keep their children away from. It really is a shame, because Eddie loves kids in a way Nancy never has. She can see it in the way he interacts with them, his bright smile fading when a parent comes to drag them away. Even when heâs expecting it, his face falls, just for an instant, before spinning around with a grin that wonât reach his eyes.Â
Nancy wants to take him out of here. Thereâs an offer on the tip of her tongue that she knows heâd refuse.
Heâs not her brother, but heâs notâŠunlike one. Itâs almost like talking to an older, flashier Mike. Heâs annoying, is what he is. He picks at her, keeps pressing over the littlest things. Tries to get under her skin, succeeds, until sheâs on the verge of stabbing him with her pencil. Looks triumphant whenever Robin has to grab her arm to drag her away, rambling an excuse about âsome girl thing I totally forgot, yeah itâs an emergency,â while Steve drags him the other way to have bro time.Â
âShe loves it,â sheâd heard Eddie crow delightedly once, when Robin didnât get her out of hearing range fast enough. âDo you see that fire in her eyes?â
âDo I?â She asked Robin. âLove it?â
âI mean, far be it from me to tell you what you do and donât like,â Robin answered. âBut, uh, as far as I can tell, you totally love it. You look like youâre going to rip him to pieces and enjoy it, and he loves that. I didnât think youâd be this much of a nightmare together, seriously, like, how are you two at each otherâs throats one second and then best friends the next? Steve and I have debated locking you in a bathroom until you get along, but weâre kind of afraid youâll kill each other.â
So no, Nancy and Eddie donât get along. Theyâre kind of a nightmare together. They donât make sense, and they donât try to. They have other friends, who they get along with better, that they can seek out.Â
But when Eddie knocks on her window, the only surprise is that he could even get there.Â
âHow?â She hisses, opening the window. He tumbles in, doesnât even try to play off the utter gracelessness heâs displaying.Â
âWowie, I am never doing that again,â he breathes, flat on his back. âYouâre going to have to help me down the stairs when I leave, had to leave my cane at the bottom and I cannot get back down that way.â
She doesnât even want to know what he had to do to get up on her roof with his bad leg. âWhat are you doing here?â
âIâm but another lover, nothing but an ant in the face of your unwavering beauty, my queen,â he says, batting his eyes at her. The dramatics donât hit the way he intends, given that heâs stuck on the floor. He holds a hand out pleadingly, and she rolls her eyes, hauling him up until she can get him to her bed.Â
âNever mind.â She puts her hands on her hips, a gesture that is so obviously Steve she removes them immediately. From the glint in Eddieâs eyes, he notices.
She tries not to be jealous. She tries, she swears, butâŠ
Three of the four (five? she doesnât know what Argyle thinks of her) friends she has are dating each other. Two of them dated her, first. She canât help but wonder, if sheâd known that was an option, if everything would have been different. If she wouldnât have this aching bitterness between her teeth.Â
(Nothing would have changed, she knows. Sheâd been too desperate for other things. Trying so hard with Steve so her best friend didnât die for nothing. Staying with Jonathan because he understood her more than anyone else, so maybe they didnât need to talk. It wouldnât have helped anything. She still wonders.)
It doesnât matter. Whatâs past is past, and she needs to move forward. She canât stop to think about could-have-beens, because thinking about boys is what got her into this mess in the first place.Â
She closes her eyes, taking a shaky breath. Thatâs not fair. None of this is fair. None of it is fucking fair because Nancy stopped caring about fair when Barb died.Â
She needs a drink. She needs a nap. She needs to stop feeling like Atlas with the world on her shoulders.Â
She doesnât do any of that. She calls Robin.
âBarb was my first kiss.â
âReally?â
âYeah,â Nancy says, and keeps talking, because Barb is dead and Robin is a lesbian and sheâs long forgotten what Barbâs favorite chapstick was back then. âWe were seven, and I liked it but I didnât know if I liked her. But I was convinced I was going to marry her, until my mom told me that girls donât marry other girls. And I knew she liked girls when she died. She told me when we were fifteen, and I didnât know the word bisexual but I knew I loved her and that was all that mattered. Notânot like that, not romantic, or maybe it was but it doesnât matter because she was my best friend and I still love her but sheâs gone forever. I loved her.â
She feels Robin lay a tentative hand on her back.Â
âI had to look her parents in the eye and pretend. All those fucking NDAâs, I had to pretend there was hope. Pretend she was still missing. It was like everyone forgot about her except for me and them, and they sold their house to find their dead daughter and I wasnât supposed to say anything and Steve kept reminding me about the fucking NDAâsââ
 âNancyâŠâ
âItâs my fault,â Nancy says, staring at the water. âI lumped in Steve, because it was easier than being alone. He didnât know her like I did. She was worried about me. She stayed because she cared, and look where that got her.â
âThatâs bullshit!â Robinâs eyes are wide, and she waves her hands around as she talks. âIf itâs anyones fault, itâs thoseâthose scientist guys experimenting on El! They knew there was a problem, and they tried to cover it up instead of making sure people were safe. You didnât know it was dangerous. How were you supposed to know it was going to end up as anything other than normal teenage drama? None of this is supposed to be real, you didnât knowââ
âBut I left her,â Nancy cuts in. âI left her alone to go lose my virginity to a boy she didnât even likeââ
âHe was your boyfriend, it shouldnât have mattered if she liked himââ
âIt doesnât matter!â Nancy shouts, and Robin falls silent, mouth still moving. âIt doesnât fucking matter how it happened, because it did and now sheâs dead and sheâs never coming back and itâs all my fault.â
Nancy is sick of crying. Sick of feeling helpless. Sick of not being able to change the past.Â
âItâs not just Barb. I took Fred to the trailer parkâhe didnât even want to be there, and now heâs dead. Eddie needs a cane, Max is almost completely blind and might never walk again and it was my plan that put them there. My plan that almost killed them. Iâm responsibleââ
âFuck that.â
âRobinâŠâ
âNo, you listen to me, Nancy Wheeler,â Robin says, grabbing her by the shoulders. âYou are one of the most remarkable people I have ever known. Max would have died without that plan. We all would have died. Venca-slash-Henry-slash-One would have won without that plan, and I am not going to sit here and listen to you blame yourself for saving lives. And-and Fred! Venca had already marked him, you know that. You couldnât have done anything! And Barb is not your fault, okay? I-I-I know I canât convince you, but Iâll say it as many times as it takes until you start believing it, because itâs true. You didnât kill her. You didnât kill anyone.â
âI killed Bruce,â she says, just to prove Robin wrong. And isnât that shitty of her, to forget about him until she can use him to prove a point? Sheâs a fucking awful person.
âI donât know who Bruce is, but given your track record I highly doubt that.â
âI bashed his head in with a fire extinguisher.â
Robin pauses, and Nancyâs stomach sinks. This is it, she thinks. This is what will convince her, this is what will make her see that Iâm wrong, that Iâm poison-
âWhat was he doing?â
âWhat?â
âBruce. You had to have a reason for it. What was he doing?â
Itâs like Robin doesnât even care that Nancy just admitted to first degree murder. âHe was flayed,â she admits, knowing Robin will take it as proof that sheâs right.
âThatâs not murder, thatâs self defense,â Robin says, just like she knew she would. âAlso, if he was flayed he was already dead. Sorry, Iâm sticking to your side on this.â
âBut Iâm less torn up about killing my asshole coworker than I am about anything else. How does that not make me a monster?â
âHe was already dead, Nancy!â Robin shakes her. âYouâre not beating yourself up over it because you know he was already dead, a-a-and I know youâre using him to try and push me away and I wonât let you.â
âRobinâŠâ she says, tears springing to her eyes. Sheâs so fucking sick of crying. So sick of the way she never seems to stop anymore.Â
âNancy,â Robin says. âNone of us are going to leave you. Stop trying to make us.â
She pulls her into a hug, and Nancy sags into it, boneless.Â
There, sandwiched between the sky and the water, Nancy starts to feel like she could forgive herself.Â
âNancy,â Steve says, putting a hand on her shoulder and ducking his chin to look her in the eye. âThey wonât be alone.â
Tears well up, unbidden, at the way he seems to understand her now in a way he never did before.Â
âI want this,â she insists.Â
âI know you do,â he says. âWhich is why youâre going to go out there, kick ass, and take names. Weâll be here, okay? Weâll keep an eye on them.â
âI know you will.â She swipes a hand across her eyes. âCan you talk to Holly, too? She gets lonely.â
Steve smiles. Heâd always loved Holly, when they were dating. He used to braid her hair sometimes. Asked her about her drawings, her TV shows, listened to her talk with the same attentiveness Nancyâs father had never shown any of them. Heâll be a good dad, someday. To someone elseâs children.
âIâll talk to Holly,â he promises. âDoes she still like princesses?â
âLadybugs,â she says. âItâs ladybugs, now.â
âLadybugs. I can do that. Black and red, and theyâre all ladies. Whatâs not to like?â
âThere are male ladybugs.â
âWait, seriously?â
She laughs, tearfully, but theyâre happy tears. Steve wipes them away gently, and she smiles at him to let him know sheâs okay. âYouâre an idiot, Steve Harrington.â
âYouâre the best person I know, Nancy Wheeler,â he replies, achingly sincere. âYouâre gonna have the whole world under your thumb, I just know it. Ever thought of running for President?â
âCanât be worse than the one we have now,â she says, grimaces as her own joke lands too bitterly to be funny. She sees his jaw tighten before he forces himself to relax.Â
âIâd vote for you.â
She grins at him, sharp to punch through the tension sheâd made. âIâll make Eddie my Vice President.â
âOh, fuck no. You lost me,â he says, and Eddie makes an offended noise from where heâs stealing snacks from the glovebox. Jonathan swats him, and she smiles at him too. He smiles back, tentatively, and wanders to her side.Â
âYou gonna be okay up there?â He asks quietly. She can hear the guilt in it, still, and she reaches down to squeeze his hand. The one with the scar that matches hers, so their palms line up. It feels full circle, somehow, the three of them together like this.Â
âIâll be okay,â she confirms, and feels the truth of it in her chest. Her boys are here with her, the ones who have been there since the beginning. Eddieâs watching them fondly, munching on a granola bar. Robin is inside somewhere, rambling at her mother. Mike and Holly are probably still bickering over the last cupcake. She loves them so much, all of them.Â
âOf course you will,â Steve says. âYouâre Nancy fuckinâ Wheeler. Nothing stops you.â
She wants that to be true. She can feel in her bones that it will be. Eighteen has nothing on who sheâll be at thirty.Â
Sheâs Nancy Wheeler, and the world wonât see her coming.Â
#welcome to eden au#stranger things fanfic#nancy wheeler#eddie munson#steve harrington#robin buckley#jonathan byers#this is the biggest thing i've posted so far#i ran out of the little fics i'm gonna have to start figuring out how to format the big ones#there's background steve/eddie/jonathan bc this was originally a companion piece to a seperate fic about them#that was 22k before i lost interest#i'll post that one eventually#can you tell nancy is my favorite character. i love u miss survivors guilt <3#sometimes i think about how nancy has no friends for p much three seasons after barb died and i get very upset#jonathan could count but he also wanted to date her so i'm not counting it#I JUST WANT HER TO HAVE FRIENDS#i also love nancy/eddie friendship they're both judgy bitches#so is steve frankly. nightmare trio#i'm gonna write that ot3 one day (don't hold me to that)
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Bestie bestie
Regarding your Latter x Eddie ideas, how do you think Eddie would fall for Latter?
This is a toughy, but only bc I don't know how to explain it! Including Frank bc purple and yellow poly <3
Eddie falls in love with Latter the same way he falls in love with Frank, in a way. Of course there's differences, they're different people after all! But what I'm focusing on is: Frank sees Eddie, Latter listens. (not saying Frank doesn't listen to him, trying to be poetic lol)
Latter is genuinely interested in the things Eddie has to say, appreciates and praises how hardworking he is even if he's not there to see it, and encourages his creativity! Even if he's not there in person, Eddie knows Latter cares.
Eddie knows Frank cares through actions. Frank brings him a glass of water, saves him from the beetle, and offers him an umbrella. Frank sees the hard work Latter hears about and acts. While Latter will verbally acknowledge and praise him for it over the phone or in a letter.
Eddie Realizes he's fallen for Latter when he finds himself rereading the suddenly not so subtle love poems and day dreaming. Eddie's not oblivious to love, he knows when he's in love and it hits him like truck! Then like two trucks when he realizes those feelings also apply to Frank!
Latter and Frank fall first, Eddie falls harder twice over <3
Bonus! Pet names Latter calls Eddie <3
My Radiance
Sunshine
My Sweet Summer's Day (very sappy, gets Eddie good)
#i hope this makes sense!#they got me feeling sappy#im so aro but i love Love sm#Them <3#Eddie falls in love with people who genuinely care about him đ€Ż Woah what a surprise!#/j its more than that but it's definitely a big factor of it lol#Latter has Me writing poems agains can you believe that#not saying its Good#but last night i def got some banger lines#what a brilliant and difficult ask <3 tysm#genuinely loved thinking about this#the bonus is bc i forgot to include it yesterday!#neon child#dizztalkstoomuch#welcome home#eddie dear#frank frankly#latter pillar#eddie x latter#eddie x latter x frank#not including the eddie n frank tag bc this is Mostly about him and latter#<333
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fuck it friday
tagged by @daffi-990 @giddyupbuck @spotsandsocks
hi!! i'm back lol - well, the craziness at work is done and I'm slowly getting back to writing bc I haven't written in like a week and it's killing me lol (this is gonna sound dramatic but I literally don't feel like myself if I don't write for too long haha) I don't have anything new to share rn, but I figured since it's already december and since some of y'all are sharing Christmas fics, and knowing I likely won't write one this year, I'm gonna shamelessly plug my holiday fake dating fic with 4 Christmases and 6 Christmas chapters actually đ (Christmas was a very important time for Buck and Eddie's relationship in this lol) - there's obvi more holidays in this but anyway, here's a snippet of their first Christmas together also, it's been a year since I posted the first chapter and I'm feeling nostalgic lol, this fic is my baby and I love it so much (tho there's so many things I'd change now lol)
[read on Ao3]
___
Turns out, Buck is very much serious about the whole thing, and Christopher finds it hilarious and is eager to play along. Eddie doesnât have valid arguments not to do it, and itâs not like he doesnât want to. After another snide comment when talking to his parents, he made his decision. And he already felt this exciting feeling of satisfaction when he told them heâd be bringing someone for Christmas this year â miraculously, Buck and Eddie donât work on Christmas, and they took an additional day off, so their schedules allow for a three-day trip to Texas.Â
So now, itâs Christmas Eve and theyâre on their way from the airport to Eddieâs childhood home, and heâs nervous, doubts just starting to seep in. What on earth possessed him to do this? He canât lie to his family. He canât pretend to be in love with Buck. What if he really does fall in love with him? What if everything goes to shit? Heâs watched enough movies to know itâs a bad idea, but he couldnât and still canât bring himself to stop it.
âSo.â Eddie says, his voice shaking slightly, as they sit in a cab. âWeâre doing this.â
âYep.â he can hear Buck grin next to him. âUnless you still wanna back out?â he adds quickly. They could still say Buckâs just a friend. No big deal. But Eddie does have this petty desire to stir something up, and this seems perfect.Â
âNo. Itâll be fine.â he smiles at Buck, and then feels hot when Buck grabs his hand and interlaces their fingers, winking at him. Christopher laughs.
âYouâd make a great couple.â he comments. Heâs been unusually happy about all of this. He also asked Eddie a few days ago if Eddie loves Buck, which prompted a conversation, but he thinks Chris knows whatâs going on now. Eddie doesnât really know what to think about that.
âThanks, buddy.â Buck responds excitedly, squeezing Eddieâs hand, and he canât contain a smile. If not anything else, at least all three of them are going to have a lot of fun.
___
no pressure tags: @elvensorceress @gaydiaz @diazass @thebravebitch @silentxxsoul @shortsighted-owl @eddiebabygirldiaz @arthursdent @diazblunt @911onabc @spagheddiediaz @housewifebuck @gayhoediaz @rogerzsteven @watchyourbuck @monsterrae1 @honestlydarkprincess @underwater-ninja-13 @eowon @exhuastedpigeon @weewootruck @loserdiaz @evanbegins @steadfastsaturnsrings @ladydorian05 @malewifediaz @pirrusstuff @theotherbuckley @911-on-abc @hoodie-buck @wildlife4life @fortheloveofbuddie @nmcggg @diazpatcher @jeeyuns @jesuisici33 @thewolvesof1998 @lover-of-mine @hippolotamus @disasterbuckdiaz @jamespearce9-1-1
#fuck it friday#the holiday fic#wikiangela writes#for a holiday (and forevermore)#some shameless self promo#it's done and 95k and it's fake dating and it's fluffy and cute and I love it haha#also there's quite a bit of eddie and his sisters and it was my fave thing to write (abc give us some big brother eddie pls im begging lol)#and just recently this fic got my first ever 1k kudos which is just mindblowing and i get overwhelmed if i think about it too long lol#so perfect time to share it again haha#buddie fic#buddie#my writing#fic snippet#this post got long and rambling lmao sorry and if you read it all ily <3 hahaha
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can't believe the year is over
Anyways it's been a stressful one for me. Hope you all have a lovely New Year and here's hoping then next one is a good one!
As per my tradition i gotta draw a little doodle of some of my boys for new years :)
#toasterfireart#my art#my ocs <3#eddie and axel#happy new year#new years doodle#i technically graduated with my bachelors today#and that should be a milestone that I should celebrate but I have so much else to think about#i dread next week i start student teaching im going to die#anyways love yall#kiss your friends#or partners#idk pet your cat
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"i wish they stopped teasing buddie" good news! they didn't. you're just reading into it, again! you have all the power to stop doing that though
#don't get me wrong i love buddie and i talked about what i think will eventually happen At Length#but tim mentioning eddie tagging along with his best friend and the dude he was hanging out 3 days a week with#yeah that has nothing to do with teasing buddie#anyway try watching and enjoying the show maybe? instead of lamenting that you don't know the ending of the show before it literally ends#do you even hear yourselves? in what world does this make sense to complain about lmao#anyway#ramblings
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am I the only one who finds myself getting more attached to bucktommy and Tommy himself the more people push against it or
#'can't believe people are jumping ship as soon as there's another guy oh my goshh' I'm a multishipper but watch me jump harder slfjsh#idk lol#9-1-1#911#oasis's 9-1-1 chatter#I like b u ddie (trying to keep it out of the searches and tags and such since this is kinda critical) and I think I'd always be at least a#bit disappointed if they don't end up together#but I'd be perfectly happy with tommy honestly#and more than anything I know buck and tommy will have to go through pain for buddie to happen and tommy will most likely be gone#if they can amicably break up and tommy sticks around I'm much more for it lol#anyway idk#I ship both but some people are just. absolutely insane#and some for bucktommy too I'm like 'he very much did have a connection with eddie lol. calm down'#'we're allowed to be jealous and have emotions' okay but stop attacking people online how about lol#both sides#anyway I just think it's all kinda silly slfkhjds#but back to my point I do love bucktommy and every time someone hates on them for no reason and something they wouldn't hate on#eddie for I actually +10 to my love for them <3 đ„°#lol
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Steddie kinda famous AU(?) | Genderfluid Stevie <3 | Eddie is a rat man and I laugh at him (I would probably be like that if I was Steve Harrington husband but that's not about me) | Live laugh love Stevie | Pushing the history teacher Steve agenda because he's a variant of Hob Gadling >:D
[I'm sorry if it has errors it's been a while since I had written something in English (it's not my first language) so whatever mistake I have feel free to tell me and I'll edit <3]
. ° â ° â đ â ° â ° .
Corroded Coffin seemed to be popular, things were getting better for them, they still had to do part time job because of that 'what if?' but things were going well. Definitely.
In an interview they asked about a song, the meaning. And the shit man Eddie Munson is, he answered with a grin on his face "That's about Stevie, as most of them".
And the fans went crazy, trying to find someone with that name in the Corroded Coffin set or working at some usual bar they played at.
"They is a history teacher" Eddie Munson told the world in another interview "and we are married" he showed the camera a ring he had next to his guitar pick on his neck, he had the biggest smirk on his face.
Then Corroded Coffin were guests of a fundraising gala, they were asked to play at it to attract more people. It was a fancy gala tho, everyone was in their bests dresses and all.
"This one's for my beautiful angel there, who looks as gorgeous as always" And Eddie winked at a special balcony of the vip guests.
Most of the public saw Eddie laughing softly, but they didn't know why. In that balcony a lovely brunette in a marion blue dress gave the guitarist and second voice of Corroded Coffin the middle finger as he had a stupid lovely gaze on their face while she blushed a little.
"Yeah love ya too sweetie" Eddie chuckled before starting with the show.
Later at the gala people saw Eddie Munson next to the tall brunette in that marion dress.
"So are you Eddie's girlfriend?" An interviewer asked, he looked at Stevie with those eyes Eddie didn't like.
But Eddie laughed as he waited for Steve's answer, that was going to be good as hell, they had the bitchy face on.
"Not a girl" Steve smirked "And definitely not his girlfriend, nor boyfriend, nor partner" She looked down at the man, who seemed so little compared to them "He's my husband"
"I am" Eddie smiled so stupidly in love as he looked up at Stevie, who usually wasn't that tall but with the black heels they was wearing today the difference was more than usual.
"Uhâ Yeah" The interviewer looked at different places to get outta there
"You got any problem with that sir?"
"N-no it's perfectly fine ma'amâ I mean sirâ I meanâ"
Steve snorted "Come on darling, let's go somewhere else without this kind of people"
And where Stevie went Eddie followed
The amount of edits with the song 'walk em like a dog' after that gala were more than years the Earth has.
"Teddy, look, another one" Steve chuckled as she showed Eddie his phone.
"Stop with that, you menace" Eddie laid down on the couch, next to his significant other, trying to take their phone away playfully.
"Erica is going to bully you so bad" Stevie giggled.
"And Red too" Eddie sighed "Jesus Christ, Stevie I am like that always?"
"It's cute"
"I hate you" Eddie muttered as Steve put on the baseball match of today.
"Love you too sunshine" She smiled softly as they started playing with Eddie's hair.
#steddie#genderfluid steve harrington#loml <3#eddie munson#he's the raccoon man#like rockstar in a rat man way#steve x eddie#I see the way Stevie and Hob are connected idc what you say#I'm living for this#there's another thing I have where Steve is a drag queen and it's about platonic stobin what dya think about???#I'm writing again đđ#steddie it's my comfort ship now#pandalily I'll come back someday#stranger things#I'M BACKKK#*insert Dusty and Stevie scene in S3 you know what*#have a nice day <3#ALSO IMAGINE THAT STEVIE WOULD BE YOUR TEACHER#I would be insane#imagine seeing them on tv with that random rockstar your brother listens at#and go âthat's my history teacherâ#that would be wild#because Steve's Barbie and Eddie is his Ken idc what dyall say#kiddos go like âyeah my super cool lovely history teacher Stevie and their husband Eddie Munsonâ#âEDDIE MUNSON THE ROCKSTAR?â#âwhat?â and then the kids go wild (yeah even more)
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I always found it slightly awkward how media makes siblings or people who see each other as siblings call each other brother/sister all the time as in real life you almost never see people do that with their own siblings (maybe someone out there like that)
In the case of Arkham Shadows I see why they did though because Bruce quite literally tells Harvey he loves him and Harvey says it back. Can't have the audience think Batman is in love with the DA.
They had Bruce pay for his college, pay for his campaign, pay for his surgery, pay for his therapy and had Harvey have him as his best man at his wedding. Wow..... Sugar baby Harvey is real.....
The calling sibling title thing is less common in English than in some other languages for sure- me and a couple of my siblings do it on occasion, but it's for a bit then. More common is when I call one of my close family friends "my sister" or "my nephew" when talking about them to someone else because it's faster and easier to say that than to say "my friend who I've known since she was born and lived with for a few years and consider a little sister" or "child of a close family friend who considers me an aunt" to someone who doesn't know them. Which is a lot of words to say that if they wanted to fully sell me on the brothers thing they should have either had a different bit or should have referred to the other as "my brother" when talking to an unrelated character instead.
But "oh no we have to make Bruce not look gay" has been a problem DC has struggled with more than once for many decades and it basically never works so I guess at least they didn't try to solve it this time by having Bruce pick a lady love over Harvey or cutting the holding hands thing
Because I saw that scrapbook! I know Harvey has been Bruce's sugar baby since he was ten years old! But we can't have Bruce take Harvey's hand and call him the love of his life because ok technically that's Gotham but also because gay. And we can't have Bruce take Harvey's hand and call him his best friend because they're not ten anymore and somehow that seems gay also. So brothers it is, I guess. Even if I think my brothers would bite my finger if I ever tried to pay for everything for them on that scale, guess it's different at billionaire levels
#I'm actually simultaneously a believer in grew up like brothers and absolutely down bad romantically#(and harvey as a representation of Gotham itself as a love)#like an election in two (three) positions at once#but the point remains- you can't really fully cover the care by slapping a brother label on it like dc tries to to avoid it being too gay ig#which is very funny because did you see all the bi Tim and Dick stuff in Gotham Knights- but Robin has always had more freedom than Batman#in the 'can we let anyone think he's anything other than totally straight' department#anyway now I'm thinking about how on earth-3 all the characters get a morality flip#but Two Face/Three Face is the only one i can think of who gets a gender flip as well#as if 'oh if we had just originally conceived of Dent as a woman it would have been better (morally) because then it wouldn't have ended up#looking so gay'#but no they did not explore that thread because apparently uh having love interests in the joker and riddler was more important#which you'd think should reflect back on standard issue harv eddy and clown but uh. not really no they don't want to admit it#and i suppose 'well no three face wouldn't have a thing for owlman because he's technically not a version of Bruce he's a version of b's#brother'#but like then again. if Harvey is his brother. then shouldn't something have been used there to connect it#in any way at all#but no#instead I'm left with many thoughts about Harvey as a brother as a lover as a personification of gotham and as a woman but#i am still very sleepy rn so i don't know how many of those thoughts are coherent#but all that to say#YEAH SUGAR BABY HARVEY#guess it wouldn't be comforting for Harvey to shakily ask what he is#and Bruce to answer 'you're my companion who i turn to for affection in and give you obscene amounts of money in turn'#but like. it also wouldn't have been incorrect.#... though 'sugar baby harv as part of the representation of Gotham itself' probably has something to it too#but i digress I'm sleepy#pocket talks to people#anon#* i meant 'electron' not 'election' in that earlier tag
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nobody talks about how awesome vent fics are. you can put your character in the Situations and just keep them there and keep them there and keep them there and then you finish it and you feel better. and it's free
#eddie brock fic is gonna Have to be this for me. i can work through all the ********* ******** if i just write about that guy#wanting to kill himself enough. it's gonna be fine. it's gonna be just like my little alucard castlevania thing#where i was feeling really bad and then wrote like 7k words of him just Suffering. and then i felt better#like a ghost in your own home dead and dying darling i love you forever and ever and ever and ever and ever and#genuinely one of my favorite things i've written i think. in terms of fanfiction but also it's just something i enjoy#man. man. man. man. man.#guys i'm unwell did you know this#i will maybe just not go to class tomorrow no matter what i think i need to stay the hell home <3 and lie face down on the ground <3#valentine notes#fanfic
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