#i love these fockin KIDS !!!!

[izzy-fishy]

me when I hold my wife’s hand randomly throughout the day because their hands are FREEZING half the time so I’m their personal portable heater <3

give paw?

[weirdsht]

What es up 👾

What if totcf with transmigrated!reader that barely says anything about themselves but they know so much about the others, they think it's kinda unfair how easy they are to read to reader (reader has read the novel so they're like a piece of cake to reader) and then one time everyone was drinking, some were drunk, some were dead on the floor or couch, then reader says "I miss my husband..." With such a solemn expression and everyone is shocked because wdym u have a fockin husband????

Rosalyn: *sees reader crying their eyes out* you... You have a husband?

Reader: yes, Rosa sob I miss him, my kids, too!

The gang: Kid? Wait, kids? Plural...? How come we never knew of this????????????

Reader was actually referring to their fictional boyfriend and characters they grew to love that they knew about from Earth, but reader is like, crying like it's the saddest thing as if their spouse went to war

…Seriously? - LoTCF & Reader

a/n: a/n: not me sneaking my lads obsession in here, also I had to choose 1 LI so the gig isn't out of the bag so soon but I don't have a bias there... so i used the usual roulette lol, find out who won as you read the story

tags: earth timeline doesn't make sense. transmigrator reader, love and deepspace mentions, platonic, fluss

English isn’t my first language so there will be grammatical errors

Pls don't repost my work anywhere without my permission

Constructive criticisms and any kind of interaction are more than welcome

Requests are currently closed but my ask are still open (read pinned)

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[Name] was an enigma to Cale’s group. They know that she’s not from their world. Know that she can predict the future to a certain extent. However, beyond that information, they don’t know much about the transmigrator. 

They barely know anything personal about [Name].

Which is a bit unfair if one thinks about it deeply. [Name] knows everyone like the back of her hand, but they don’t even know if the name she has given her is her real one.

But it doesn’t matter much. Cale’s group is not one to pry information that could possibly be sensitive out of a comrade. They all have their secrets after all, maybe [Name] was uncomfortable talking about her previous life.

Well, that was until Rosalyn saw her crying one day.

It was a normal day, a good one even. For the first time in a while, there’s absolutely nothing to do. Even Rosalyn’s research has been put on hold. And so she decided to find [Name] so they could try to newly opened cafe in town, and have a girl’s day.

“[Name] are you busy–”

The mage stopped in her tracks as she heard the transmigrator sob from the other side of the door. [Name]’s cries were quiet but it caused a loud concern to ring in Rosalyn’s heart.

“Why are you crying? Did something happen?”

Rosalyn opened the door, panic spread through her body as [Name] is known to never cry.

“Ro-rosa..?”

[Name] looked up as the door opened. Her knees touched her chest, her head resting on top of it. Tear stains could be seen on her clothes, it looked like she had been crying for a while now.

“I’m fine, don’t worry nothing happened.”

She reassured Rosalyn as she wiped her eyes with her sleeves. Her voice was wobbly, not helping her case and certainly not making the ex-royal believe her.

Rosalyn took [Name]’s hands on her left hand and wiped the transmigrator’s tears with the handkerchief she bought with her right hand. Concern is etched on her face as she gives [Name]’s hands comforting strokes.

“Tell this unnie what’s wrong.”

Both have forgotten about the door being wide open. Making everyone, the three kids and Lock, hear everything they are talking about.

“It’s a silly thing… I just realized it’s been so long since I saw my husband…”

Rosalyn fought the urge to overreact at the news that one of her friends had a husband she didn’t know about.

“From your previous world?”

“...Yeah, it’s been so long since I saw him. It doesn’t help that when I last saw him it looked like he was going on a very dangerous mission.”

[Name] was crestfallen as she spoke. It was clear just how much she missed him.

“My children too, I only saw my twins for a short while!”

The whiplash Rosalyn is getting from these shocking pieces of information is too much.

Good thing another redhead arrived to save the day.

“Why are you four hiding over there?”

Cale asked the four children and only then did the two women realise how the door was open. Rosalyn shot [Name] an apologetic look. She didn’t mean for her personal life to be broadcasted like that.

“No need to be sorry, it wasn’t really a secret. There wasn’t just a chance to bring it up.”

[Name] assured the mage as she gestured over to the five outside her door. Beckoning them to go inside.

As Cale and the children walked towards the transmigrator, they updated Cale as to what they heard.

“So you had a husband before coming here?”

“Yes, my husband Sylus… I didn’t even get his limited card before I could… huek!”

The transmigrator teared up once more and every one pitied her despite their confusion. Just what card is she talking about? Maybe it’s an earth thing they don’t know about.

“[Name]-nim are you talking about a credit card?”

Choi Han peeked from outside. He was just passing by when he heard the children updating Cae about his fellow transmigrator’s life.

“Huh? Oh no, I mean he did have a black card but that’s not what I’m talking about.”

Now Choi Han was part of the confused crowd. If she didn’t mean a savings card what could she be talking about then?

Meanwhile, in the corner of the room, Cale squinted his eyes. That man knows for a fact that [Name] hasn’t even had her first kiss yet. What are all these lies about a husband? 

…Plus the name she said sounded very familiar.

“Could you tell us more about him?”

“Yeah tell us please nya!”

Raon and Hong encouraged [Name] to talk more, interested in the slightest information about their mysterious friend’s personal life.

“Well, his very tall. Around 187cm I think? He kind of looks like a vampire with his white hair and red eyes. I can confidently say that his one of the most handsome guys out there.”

Everyone became even more intrigued. Just how great was this husband of hers? [Name] sounded very in love with him. He also sounded well-off based on Choi Han’s explanation of how a black card is like the equivalent of a golden plaque.

“Oh, he also has this thing called Evol. Basically he has powers, his power in particular is controlling energy. His super strong, he can even heal wounds.”

From the corner of the room, Cale suppressed a sigh as he placed the pieces together. Instead, he opted to silently facepalm.

The conversation about [Name]’s supposed “husband” lasted for a few more minutes before everyone filed out of her room. Leaving only her and Cale behind.

“What was your affinity level before you got here?”

“Affinity 60… But omg, you play love and deespace too!?”

[Name] looked at the redhead man who was finally letting out that deep, imparted sigh he had been holding in since earlier.

“No, I just saw forum leaks about your husband Sylus.”

“Ohhhh, I was wondering how you knew when he was barely out when I transmigrated…”

An awkward silence lingered around the two. Both of them don’t know how to proceed with the new information. In fact, [Name] didn’t know that game existed on Cale’s earth.

Wait was it possible that they were from the same earth?

But he had powers…

[Name] decided to not think about it.

“Next time, refrain from speaking about your fictional husbands as if they’re real… I think you nearly gave Rosalyn a heart attack?”

“Wait really!?”

[Name] looked at Cale who was on his way to go back to his room. She didn’t know the repercussions of casually speaking about her otome game. The redhead only looked at her as if she was a lost cause. 

“Yes, really.“

incase you were curious about the roulette lol dont mind me using the jp names im just more used to that

[faeruy]

I have to talk about the devils in Baldur's Gate 3 because they're kind of my favorite thing. I promise; its probably not for the obvious reasons. Sure, they're charmingly evil, and intelligent and sexy and all that. But what Larian does that I fucking love is really take the devil contract thing seriously. Not only do they make it clear that most of them are lawful evil and therefore LOVE contracts, they also have unique contract styles. Which is a great bit of detailed world building and has the added benefit of making devils BIG FUCKING NERDS. Spoilers ahead and also casual swearing, 'cause I'm like that.

Anyway, first up; Raphael? Drama queen. Apparently wishes he was a bard because not only do his people have to sing their contracts, but he has his own damn theme song. Its SO EXTRA and ridiculous. Like... Sure he's dangerous, he's a devil. You meet him for the first time and he drops these clever lines and is vaguely threatening, but by the time you get to the House of Hope, you learn he's a theatre kid on a power trip with an ego the size of the Sword Coast. 10/10 characterization, and it almost made me not want to kill him. Almost. I'm not one to leave a devil alive when I can loot the body afterward.

And Mizora? No singing for her; bitch is the insurance agent of your nightmares. Her contracts are labyrinthine and full of opaque business legalese and she takes great pride in knowing every word of it. She references clauses and subclauses of Wyll's contract with all the glee of a Trekkie rattling off the specs of the USS Enterprise. Fucking Nerd. No wonder she managed to get herself captured; she's a pencil pusher, not a fighter. You can see why she's the right hand of a more powerful Archdevil like Zariel, because quite frankly, she gets too caught up in the fine print to ever successfully execute a grand ambitious plan of her own. (The fact that Mizora doesn't appear to have ambition beyond furthering Zariel's goals is probably a whole post unto itself, the conclusion of which is definitely "they fockin'"). Don't get me wrong, she's still terrible, but you start to get the impression that devils aren't that different from cats; it's just their nature to be a bit of a shit.

[just-some-random-blogger]

The Science Teacher & The Skeptic

Joel Miller x Science Teacher!Reader

Summary: "who cares about space when there's a fuckin apocalypse going on"

Word Count: 1k+

Warnings: crackfic, fem!reader, headcanons, joel 'im a contractor 🤠' miller, fluff, typos, etc.

A/N: ok this is borne of out me geeking about about the film 'the beautician and the beast' to @sloanexx and she's actually the author im just ghost writing it so if you wanna p2 you're gonna have to take it with her. dont shoot the messenger im blue just for consistency HAHAHH in this Tagging: @multifandom-fangirl4 @pinksirensong @aralezinspace

she can be a teacher at the qz

HOLY SHIT

he meets her bc she teaches ellie ✌🏻

OMG

!!!!!! STOP IM GETTING EXCITED FOR IT NOW

[post chat me] THIS RAT FINNA TALK TO ME ABOUT A FIC SHES EXCITED ABOUT AND NOT WRITE IT COS SHES 'NOT A WRITER' BROS ALREADY A WRITER JUST BASED ON THAT

joel never went to college so he thinks she's like super cool for

knowing shit about space and stuff

but at the start he lowkey hates her bc he thinks she's a snob maybe???

idk

GIRLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL

GRILL

i do have saur many ideas-

[post chat me] YA DONT FUCKIN SAY 😪🙄🙄🙄

-for this tho like ellie loves her and comes home like

this teacher is so cool she knows so much abt space and stuff

bestie please write it

[post chat me] oh you sweet summer child shes not going to

and joels like who the fuck is this lady

BESTIE IM BEGGING

who cares about space when there's a fuckin apocalypse going on

joel is like you know what a real lesson is?

how to shoot a gun.

how to dress a wound.

not fucking stars and planets

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

BESTIE DO IT PLEASE

and ellie's like k cool wtv im going to school now

DO IT PLEASE PLEASE I BEG OF YOU

AND THEN THEY MEET BC JOEL GETS MAD AT ONE OF HER HOMEWORK HAHAHAHAHAHAH

he sees her drawing constellations and he's like this is fucking bullshit

THE WAY I GASPED

im gonna talk to ur teacher bc this isn't survival

BESTIE YOURE ALREADY WRITING IT SO PLEASE DO IT FOR ME

NO I CANT

[post chat me] 🙄🙄🙄🙄

ok so he confronts her in school right

OMG AND THEN

and he's like i wanna talk to the teacher who gave this homework

spicy

[post chat me] honestly hes such a karen for that ????

and they meet and he's like

this isn't survival skills there's an apocalypse going on and u have her drawing stars like a 5 year old???

HAHAHAHAHAHAH

and she's like u fockin wot m8????

>😀

there wouldn't be an earth if there weren't any planets!!!!

how else would we know how oxygen is formed and how the tides turn to get water!!!!

you big dodo bird

survival isn't all guns and shooting bc if that's all it was the rest of the world would be alive rn!!!!

and he's like oh fok me she fights back

>😞

omg he creamed his pants

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

and he runs home with his tail between he's legs

and he opens one of ellie's space books

and he's like this shit cool

joel wrong sexy teacher right

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

YOU HAVE TO WRITE THIS PLEASE I AM BEGGING YOU

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

im having so much fun just telling u

im smiling at my phone like an idiot

[post chat me] well you are an idiot 🤬🤬🤬

TELL ME MORE ABOUT THE FIC AND ILL COMPILE IT FOR YOU YOU LAZY BABY

HAHAHSJSHSHSHSH

what else is there to know

hmmm

he spends the night reading the space book and the next day he asks ellie like

umm hey can u teach me more about this space shit

OMG

and she's like no old man you wanna know more you go ask my teacher

ahHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

IM SCREAMIN

and he's like .... i don't wanna bc im embarrassed but i also rly wanna know abt how the earth goes around the sun? bc that's cool

WHAT IF THIS WAS MY LAST STRAW

>😭😭😭😭

[post chat me] this modern day man doesnt know shit about the sun that so embarazzing are you not embarazzed the american school system has failed him so hard 💀💀💀💀💀

and he goes to the school and he waits for all the kids to leave bc he's embarrassed and he's like

so... the planets. they all turn around and shit? that's how we get night and day

and she's like yuh m8

KEEP GOING IM CRYING

and he's like um could you tell me more...

HES SO LOVELY

and she's like ok how about you come meet me for an hour every week after my class on wednesday

and he fucking treats that like church

waiT WAIT OMG

SHES LIKE

want to attend my class <3

we'd love to have you

SCREAMING CRYING THROWING UPPP

DONT TELL ME HE SITS IN CLASS WITH THE KIDDOS

and ALL THE KIDS ARE LIKE HEY MR MILLER

HE WOULD NEVER HED SHOOT HIMSELF FIRST I THINK

THEN THEY SHOW HIM THE MACARONI STARS

[post chat me] there are two types of writers AHAHAHH

OK WAIT

MAYBE

NAURRRRRR

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA

he lurks outside to listen and learn but

she catches him and is like um???

do u just want me to teach u bc all u had to do was ask

AWWWWWW

THEN HES LIKE IM A CONTRACTOR I CAN MAKE A WAYY BETTER SOLAR SYSTEM

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

u didn't have to like.. sit outside the class just to learn

>😭😭😭

FRRRR JUST TAKE A SEAT

he uses all his tools to make the best goddamn solar system

OMG HE FUCKING REDOES THE CLASSROOM AND MAKES IT SPACEY AND SHIT

and he shows it to her at their weekly session all proud

and she gives him a gold star sticker

places it on his jacket

DEAD

HE NEVER TAKES IT OFF

NEVER WASHES THE JACKET

ew stinky

HAHHAHHAH I LOVE IT

he preserves it

>😔

bc he doesn't want it to get ripped off

when he uses it our

*out

HAHAAH WHAT IF SHES LIKES *pinches nose* joel? is- is your washing machine broken 💔💔💔💔

HAHAHHAHAH

STOP

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

NOOOOOO

he'll shoot himself right there and then

AND THEN HE NEVER COMES BACK

HELLPPPP

walk to a clicker and beg it to bite

EW [HE] WOULDDDD

IM CRYINGGGGGGGG

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

ELLIES LIKE HAHAHAHAH

if i was writing it i'd stop it at him doing up the classroom like u said

like some time after their weekly sessions he does that

and she's like

i think i like this dumb old man

OMG AND THEN

you cant stop thereeeeeeeeeee

BUT ITS PERFECT

LKASJHFKJASASF OK OK

Fin

[post chat me] ok ok bonus cos she still went on 🙄🙄🙄🙄`

it's the intrigue that makes it nice

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

p2 where joel comes for show and tell HAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH

ahhhhHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

THE SOUND THAT LEFT MY MOUTH

AND HES LIKE SO PROUD FOR BEATING 12 YEAR OLDS PLEASEEE ✋✋✋

IM A CONTRACTOR 🤠🤠🤠🤠

he fucking hates it and is miserable at first the whole time

but then he sees her supporting him so earnestly and then he's like oh shir i like it im gonna send these 12 year olds into the ground

make them eat dust

hELLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP

NAURRRRRRRRR

[octopiys]

Ghost meets the Mactavishes.

(Spoiler for chapter 9, The Common Tongue of You Loving Me)

(CW for cursing... I think that's it?)

December 17th, 2022

The Mactavish Household

Fort Wiliam

Scottish Highlands

Lieutenant Ghost was no coward. He was not one to run in the face of a fight, on the brink of a war.

Lieutenant Ghost was never scared.

But bloody fuckin' hell, Simon Riley was.

The Mactavish family cottage was much larger than he imagined. Not that he was imagining some little forest home where only his mother lived, definitely not, but the size of this cottage was... astounding. Cottage... probably wasn't even the best word for it.

He wasn't scared! He kept telling himself that as Johnny dragged him up the icy steps, practically bouncing as they wound their way up the path. More of... on edge? Don't- don't tell anyone that, though-

Soap made a show of knocking on the door, rocking back and forth on his heels. His mohawk was hidden beneath one of Ghost's beanies, his throat underneath a scarf and sweater, but his hands were ungloved as he clutched Ghost's.

Simon, on the other hand, was almost as bundled as he could possibly be. His hoodie pulled up, his mask(not the balaclava, but Roach had a black gaiter to spare, bless him), scarves, jackets, gloves, the whole nine yards. Not everything he wore was black, much to Soap's delight. The scarf was a bright yellow! ....but that was about it.

"Johnny-" Simon started nervously, taking a step back as they waited for the door to open.

"Nuh uh, ye fockin' Brit, ye aren't bailin' outta this 'un!" Soap pulled him back as the door unlocked with a click. Ghost's eyes widened in a sudden regret, and the door swung open. He quickly closed them, pretending and wishing that he was anywhere but there.

A lot of things happened at once. A stifled gasp from whoever was in the doorway, a cheer from his Scot, the warmth suddenly missing from the palm of his hand, more excited scottish chattering, and he almost slipped on the ice.

Someone dragged him inside the home, and every muscle in his body screamed against it, but it was every fiber he had to keep going, his eyes still squeezed shut.

There was a lot of indecipherable talking, he found. English, a bit of Gaelic, and whatever crossed in between, he had a headache ready, but he wouldn't dare complain. After all, he had signed up for this.

Literally.

There was a light poke to his side, and Johnny hissed in his ear, "They're tryin' ta say hello, ye eedjit!"

Ashamed, his eyes snapped back open and he offered a hesitant wave. In front of him stood a shorter, plump woman, with mousy brown hair that just barely reached her shoulders. Her face was lined with age, and crow's feet, a tell tale sign that this was indeed Soap's mother. They had the same nose, same eyes, he noted.

Behind her stood a younger, blonde woman, who beamed enthusiastically at him. He tried to reach for a smile, but was extremely worried it came off as more of a grimace. This must've been Darcy. Soap's... oldest.... sister? Younger, but eldest? There was a lot to keep track of on the car ride here. She was married, he knew, her husband at her side, with kids, but they were nowhere to be seen.

Two faces peeked in curiously from a doorway, one a boy, platinum blond, the other a girl, with mousy brown hair like her mother, but cropped very short. They scattered when they realized they had been spotted. Those must have been the twins.

A few seconds had past in awkward silence, before he cleared his throat. "Uh- Hello, I'm-" A look of panic crossed his face. He had rehearsed many things in his head on the way here, but now that the time had come, he didn't actually know how to introduce himself. Would it be Ghost? Riley? Or.... "I'm Simon. It's nice to meet you all-"

He looked to Soap, hoping sincerely that he didn't come off as choked, nervous, or... any of the other emotions he was feeling that he couldn't decipher. But Johnny was grinning like a madman.

The family looked delighted with his measly attempts at conversation, and almost immediately swarmed him. There was no way he'd be able to keep up with their conversations, but he managed to catch a few good words.

The twins admired from afar, unsure of whether to join them or not. Darcy was saying something to Soap, before hugging him. She must've muttered something in his ear, because he burst out laughing and gave him a light shove. She couldn'tve much younger than Johnny.

Her husband tried as much to restrain her, before giving up and retreating to the kitchen.

Simon didn't even know his name.

A few other people joined them in the entryway, but Simon tried to not take as much notice. There was a lot going on. He felt overwhelmed.

"So yer Si? The one tha' my Johnny boy talks abut in his letters all the tiyme?" His mother started, a look in her eyes that he couldn't identify.

His hands broke into a sweat, and he balled them into fists, then out again nervously. "I'd- well, I'd assume so, Ma'am..." Did Soap know any other Simons?

The woman grinned. "Aye, I'll thank ye fer that. He's a bit much, ainnee? Ye seem like a good choice fer 'im!" Her voice was low, soothing, he thought as his face erupted red. "Yer a big boy, can hold yer own." She looked at Soap, for a moment, then back to him. Like she was waiting for approval.

Soap noticed after a few seconds, coming to his rescue.

His hand dipped around Simon's waist, pulling him close to his side. Public affection? What's that?

Johnny watched him closely, thoroughly enjoying how his skin turned even more pink beneath his gaiter as his eyes shot him a look of silent pleading.

Oh shit, he forgot that Ghost doesn't know how to hold a proper conversation. With anyone else, he could've tried, but with Johnny's mother? Forget about it.

"Oh, shite- Ma, this is Simon, Simon this-"

Mother Mactavish cut him off. "Aye, son, we got ourselves past tha' 'un. Do ye have yer things? Ye hungry?" She looked directly at Simon, and Soap realized that his only purpose was to make Ghost more comfortable.

"Er- Our things are in the car, but I thought-"

The conversation continued as Darcy walked up to Soap.

"Scored yerself a proper brit husband, aye?" There was a mischievous grin on her face as she nudged him.

"Fock off, Darcy, we're not tied up-" He protested through the side of his mouth.

"Awh, ye've gone all housewife on us!" She insisted and he kicked her in the boot, leading his mother to trail off in her sentence and glare at them both.

"Darcy, git an' find the twins, dontcha have better ta do than bein' a scunner ta yer brother?" She swatted her away, but Darcy only laughed, greeting Simon warmly before Mother Mactavish shooed her off. "A bairn, still, ah swear- anyways, boys, go git yer bags, dinners almost done an' then ah'll introduce ye to the others."

Simon nodded, and Soap hid his smirk well. The Lieutenant, no, his partner's jaw was almost completely dropped beneath his gaiter. Ghost was very expressive behind his mask, one of the more plausible reasons as to why he wore it. Johnny tugged him back outside to their rental car.

"So- they're a lot, ainee?" Soap half joked, trying to hide his embarrassment.

Simon was quiet for a moment. "They're very... you."

Soap paused. That wasn't what he was expecting.

"In- in a good way! Not... Well, I wasn't expecting- fuck, I don't know- Soap, shut me up-"

Soap kissed him sharply, over the gaiter. Ghost froze, and Johnny almost laughed. "Yer doolally, L.t." He said, completely straightfaced as he opened the trunk of their car where their suitcases lay.

"....what in the bloody fuck-"

"Yer doolally, bit ah loue ye." It was growing harder to contain his laughter with Simon's increasingly confused eyes.

"I don't- please, Johnny, I just want english-"

"Och, English!" He snarked, heaving Simon's suitcase out of the trunk. "Aye think you're crayzee, Simon, but ah- fuck- but aye love yoou." The other case landed with a thump. He went to lift his up, but Simon smacked him away quietly. "Proper gentleman now, are ye?"

"Shut up." Simon was hiding his face beneath his hoodie, but Soap could tell he was a blushing mess beneath it. "Your English is terrible. I almost prefer the gibberish."

A smile broke out across his face as Ghost lifted both suitcases with ease. "Ye prefer the gibberish!? Gibberish?!?"

"I said 'almost.'" Ghost slid a little on the ice and he paused to steady himself. "I do enjoy understandin' you though-"

Soap was still caught up in the fact that the brit called his beautiful language gibberish. "Well- well, yer ma's gibberish!"

Simon stopped at the top of the steps. "My mum's dead, Soap."

"Awh-" There was a moment that Soap genuinely felt bad, but then he saw Ghost's devilish smirking eyes. "Och, fuck ye, ye can't pull the dead mum card and win e'erytime-"

"Yes I can. Get the door for me?" He shifted the weight of their cases, and Soap grumbled to himself, opening the door for him. Simon waited inside, and Johnny looked at him strangely.

"What're ye waitin' on?"

"... I don't know where I'm going."

"Oh, shite, sorry-"

Simon ended up actually meeting Darcy, whom he was right about. Her husband, Nathan, who was Irish. He was shorter than Ghost, with dark auburn hair. He was in the navy, which Soap had grimaced at, but hid it well. He met their three kids, James, their oldest at ten, Thomas, the middle child, (who had just turned six he was informed), and had taken a great interest in Ghost's hoodie, and Blair, their youngest and only girl at the age of three. She wore pig tails, and already had a face smeared in mashed potatoes. He encountered the twins, too, when they weren't sneaking around and they all sat down to dinner. Jordan, the platinum blond, and Rose, the girl with short brown hair. She had odd earrings, he took note of, but didn't comment on it. He was told that there were a few people missing out on dinner, but Soap later told him that they wouldn't show despite Mother Mactavish's pleading.

Ghost may not have been sure of what half the dinner was, but it was better, much better, than anything he could've ever made. Probably some of the best food he's ever had, excuse the One-Four-One's-giving. The dinner was strangely quiet, but he paid no mind. Most likely because everyone was eating, right?

"So-" Jordan, who sat near the end of the table started, and Ghost looked up from his plate, wiping his mouth and tugging the gaiter back down, suddenly extremely self conscious. Soap shot a warning glance, but the older teen waved it off. "You ever killed anyone?"

"Jordie!" Rose lightly smacked him, and Soap's hand cautiously moved over Ghost's thigh. He felt too many eyes on him, but... I mean, they all knew, right?

"I... Have, yes." He cleared his throat nervously. What was the point in lying? They all knew what Johnny did, at least, for the most part. "But only someone who was trying to hurt other people." Or... someones. Many someones.

Jordan nodded, satisfied at his answer. There was something new in the boy's eyes. Approval.

"Why doya wear that thing on yer face?" James asked, gesturing to his mask. "Ye like Spiderman? I like Spiderman, I have a mask too, see?" The boy pulled said mask from his pocket, and put it on, grinning widely at him.

There was something warm in his chest. "Er- I've-" He didn't know how to formulate a proper answer. So he settled on, "Yeah, I like Spiderman."

He looked up from his plate to find everyone watching him. His skin prickled almost uncomfortably, but then James tried to eat something through his mask, and the moment was up.

"The food is very good, Mrs. Mactavish." Ghost said quietly, and the woman at the head of the table beamed at him. She looked like Johnny, but he was still worried.

'Are you okay?' He mouthed, and Simon gave a slight nod.

And dinner continued. And it was delightful.

One by one, they all finished, the children occasionally asking other questions which he answered honestly. There was no use in lying to a child. They didn't deserve that. But he did sometimes water down the truth. Even Soap was grinning by the end of it, until Ghost slipped up and called him by his call sign, to which Rose perked up and asked why he was called that.

"Because he's-" Watered down truth. "Very good at cleaning out houses." Simon settled on, and Johnny buried his face in his hands, ears a bright red.

"Proper housewife." Darcy said with a laugh.

Soap shot a spoonful of mashed potato at her, shouting to "Shut yer trap, Darce, I'll tell em about yer table incident."

Her mouth dropped open, but there was a mischievous glint shared in both their eyes. Before anything else happened, or Ghost could ask what the table incident was, Mrs. Mactavish cleared the room of everyone else pretty quickly.

Ghost took up a kitchen job in washing dishes as muffled, yet playful shouting echoed from the dining room.

A small hand tugged on his sleeve, and he jumped, splashing water all over himself. "Ah, sh-" Oh no, a child. "Shhh-ooot. Dang it."

"Mister Simon, sir-?" Thomas, Darcy's middle child, who he noticed didn't speak during dinner at all, had started anxiously. The boy was wearing a hat, something else he hadnt noticed earlier.

"Hey, kid...?"

"Yknow, ye don't have ta cover yer face 'cus of the spots, yeah?" The little boy looked up at him, and Simon was confused.

"Whaddya mean?"

"The white spots! See-" He took his hat off, revealing a sharp white streak in his hair, along with a few white patches of skin above his brow. "I have it too! An'- an' i dont want ye ta hide it, cus me ma says its cool! And if ah got it, an' you got it- then we're almost twins! B- Both cool!" The boy twisted his fingers nervously, dropping his big eyes down to the floor.

Simon swallowed the lump in his throat, and pulled his hood off his head with shaking hands. "... Thanks, kid."

Simon was on his knees now, his jacket only slightly wet now from the dish water, and the kid grinned open mouthed and reached for his hair. "Twins! Twins!" He cheered.

Thomas reminded him of Joseph, with his brother's name. It was so terribly ironic.

But for once, this was a good thing.

Little hands grabbed the white torch in the center of a wave of light brown, but they were gentle, and Simon laughed.

He didn't see Soap, or Darcy standing in the doorway, or how Mrs. Mactavish tried to peek through then with tears in her eyes. Or how Soap would step away, dragging the two with him so that they could have the moment, with tears he fought to hold of his own.

It was okay. Not finished, not by a long shot, but it would be okay.

And Simon could heal.

And Johnny could heal.

Maybe all Ghost needed was a couple of Scots to help him out. God, Soap will never let him live this down.

[ferrunough]

✤ - a memory that involves romance/love

If you can. For whatever reason they come across as aro to me

[There’s no folder labelled anything similar to “love” or “romance” so you look through some of the people folders you haven’t watched from yet. A file called “best night in years” catches your eye, but there isn’t a subbed version. Curiosity gets the better of you as you accept your fate.]

[Contains alcohol, drunkenness and suggestive content]

“I said I’d be out until eleven. It’s half ten now.”

“We haven’t even gotten inside yet!”

“Yeah, cahm oooon, man! Pleease?” Their tone is teasing, a far cry from their usual tired sound. This is news to their company too; they copy their accent, pleading “cahm on” to the centre of attention. A man not hugely far off No Name in height — 6’1” maximum — at least compared to the rest of the small group. His hair looks black but, watching how the streetlights affect it, it seems to really be dark grey. Annoyed, he looks to No Name directly and holds their gaze. His eyes are hazel that glows orange when light hits them just right, disrupted (or complemented) by spots of grey. His glower softens into an unintentional smile and he shakes his head. “Fine.”

Three of the group of five wait out the rest of the club’s line with inaudible chatter. The man stays next to the pov, out of sight. His words are clear.

“Why did I ever tell them about you?”

“Aven’t the foggiest. Terrible choice on your part.”

The memory cuts straight to a montage of sorts, snippets of moments throughout the night: the whole group doing shots, watching and cheering people on the dance floor, the group with another round of shots, two people from the group making out, No Name and the man cheersing their drinks, the man hunched over absolutely losing it laughing. It ends on a scene like the last two, No Name and the man sat on two sides of a corner sofa.

“… so, lie, A dun ge why peopl evun tok abou thum lie tha! Ow r y opin t compeyre “awh, erythan n th worl’s fockin wich y ed, ere’s tu kids n ow thuy ar n thumselvs n wiv echotha” t “waheey, groovay sons wi no ovarchin thin bisides s on th album”? A dun derstan, A really dun…”

Throughout their rambling they’re moving hair out of their face (you presume; there’s no hair to be seen but the actions line up). The man across from them is watching. His lips are pursed, at least what you can see as his hand covers most of them, though his eyes show his entertainment clear as day. He nods along until No Name’s rant gradually tapers off. Though said with annoyance, you can hear the smile on their face.

“Whas y smilin bout?”

The man sighs and releases some of the laughter he’d been straining to hold in. “I really shouldn’t’ve let you get another drink.”

“Yuh go wun tu!”

After a pause he goes “mhm” and nods. The pov gives an exasperated noise, about to go off on one again until a shout catches both of their attentions.

“We’re heading out. They can ardly keep themselves— EY! Wait for— Enjoy your night, Ferris. And thank you for getting him in here!” The friend pats No Name on the shoulder as they push past.

“We should head out too. Get you home. Forge’ll get on me if I’m sluggish in the morning for work.”

“Arigh, arigh…”

Ferris stands easily enough but fumbles his first step. No Name swiftly catches him and holds him upright.

“Wha was y sayn bou tha dri?”

“… how are you okay?”

“This ain much. A’m speakin ow A normly speak.”

Once he processes what they’re saying, he exhales in defeat, rests his head below their collarbone, and says, “I’m never going to Galar with you.”

“A wouldn dream t take y there.”

Ferris tilts his head up so his chin rests on No Name’s collarbone. He speaks tenderly.

“Take me home, T

[The file crashes.]

[merrigelblogs]

Hell yeah, thanks for the tag @alienjaes !! ✨

1. Are you named after anyone? - Oooghgh boring but not that I know of? So I’ll sub in something similar but funnier- I’ve gone by Kat since the 8th grade because my username on the fockin Animal Crossing Forums that I loved as a child was katelynkat and thus got shortened to Kat, and I liked it so much I brought it to the meatspace LMAO

2. When was the last time you cried? - Bro I just moved internationally and am now Extremely far away from p much every not-my-gf person I love, I Shrimply cannot have this question posed to me rn (like. two days ago.)

3. Do you have kids? - Nah, but we might adopt someday!

4. Do you use sarcasm a lot? - Yeeaahhh,,, I try not to be Mean about it but being a little asshat runs in my blood, my whole family is like this!!

5. What is the first thing you notice about a person? - Usually their hairstyle, or if they have any really striking clothing/jewelry! They’re my go-tos for compliments since they’re things that people like... Choose, y’know? So they usually seem happy to be complimented on ‘em!

6. What’s your eye color? - Blue! 

7. Scary movie or happy ending? - Yes! This is a wild dichotomy! I’m a weenie tho so it depends on how scary the movie is

8. Any special talents? - Uhhh define special? I uh... I can do :3 irl!

9. Where were you born? - North Carolina babey!

10. What are your hobbies? - Oh goddamn. E. everything. Reading (mostly fantasy/thrillers), playing video games, drawing (ironically less now that it’s my job but y’know), playing dungeons and dragons with my best buds, whatever craft I can get my grubby little mitts on the materials for, doing puzzles, baking, etc etc etc! 

11. Do you have any pets? - Noooo but we wanna get a cat sometime soon!! After we do our travels this year maybe! In the meantime, our dearly departed family dog Finn is forever in my heart

12. What sports do you/have you played? - Okay so I’m an uncoordinated and outta shape lil shit, but I used to LOVE sprinting and (hilarious bc I was So Small) basketball! Ohh badminton too... Nothin’ now tho, got no time or energy or place to go or-

13. How tall are you? - 5′5″, 5′6″ish? Somewhere in there!

14. Favo(u)rite subject in school? - Love that lil concession to the british there LMAO, uhh obviously I loved art but! I also really enjoyed english and psychology! I actually gave myself a bit of a headache in college bc I tried to do all my science credits in psychology and accidentally went past the “this will not count do a class in another subject” limit LMFAO

15. Dream Job? - I mean... I just recently kinda Got it? I’m currently doing my first job as a storyboard artist!! Though the reality is it’s been... Well. Got kind of a tough gig for my first one! Anyhoo, I truthfully do not dream of labor, but if I must then the best thing would be to make enough to live on by FINALLY making that graphic novel of our pirate DnD campaign that I’ve been wanting to do for YEARSSS

Bonus: any significance to your blog's name - Yes and no! No in that it’s a nonsense word, yes in that it’s a nonsense word I made up out of a mishmash of silly references to my favorite things- mer for the sea, and rigel for a star out of my favorite constellation!! Append “blogs” to it to tie this to my art blog (since this is my Main Spot) and badaboom! A personal brand that’s always available bc who else would use this username!

Ooohh tags.... If y’all wanna, I’ll hit up @ramblerogue , @frenchy-and-the-sea , @in-a-hat , @tricklesnitz , and anyone else who wants to!!​

[ravenadottir]

headcanons: shannon

♣ sunglasses collection. to play or to go out, it doesn’t matter. they’ll bully you any time.

♣ impeccable taste in patterns, mostly chanel with the black and whites.

♣ rarely wears a dress, but when she does, fuck me...

♣ playing poker in suits and heels. because she’s fucking shannon.

♣ @crvsh-culture ​ said “red cars” and i agree. can’t stop thinking about it.

♣ carries a pocket knife just to open an orange in public.

♣ was the type to smoke behind school when she was 16.

♣ it took her some time to accept her curly hair, but i’m glad she did.

♣ not much complexion makeup because she learned how to love her freckles.

♣ not too into social media but will use it for two purposes: one, raising awareness, especially about social issues, and two, to clap back. whatever it is for both cases.

♣ attracted to girls, but still doesn’t know what to do with that information.

♣ closest friend is a gay guy that people often confuse as her boyfriend. “pahaha, right. boyfriend.” “ew.” “ok, that hurts a bit.”

♣ neon lights in her flat, mostly in the living area and bedroom.

♣ power move on dates, to make sure the guy is her type: *pulls the wallet* “i got this.” if he offers to share, she calls him, anything else is out of the question.

♣ shannon doesn’t have a type to date, physical or personal. she has a type to avoid.

♣ raised in a sexist household, with brothers.

♣ she gets competitive, a little too much. about what, you ask? EVERYTHING.

♣ exercises for health. hates cardio and won’t lift. “i already don’t wanna be here. give me the bare minimum to stay healthy and that’s all i’l do.”

♣ i love picturing her being friends with lucas, carl and kassam.

♣ i also love picturing her being friends with gary and making snarky comments about how much of a slob he is. “were you raised in a fockin’ barn, mate?”

♣ there’s more than two hair dryer diffusers in one of her drawers, at least 7 curls products, besides the cotton t-shirts in her bathroom. to whoever asks: “if you know, you know.”

♣ “i’m a grown ass woman and i’ll eat as much as i want. i fockin’ paid for it.”

♣ but the way she loves intricate lingerie is not even funny. and the way she looks in them is... why wasn’t she a li again??

♣ “i guess if i’m attracted to a girl there’s no point in saying ‘never’.”

♣ can’t stand musicals. tolerates “rock of ages” and that’s about it.

♣ will cry with ballet though.

♣ knows basic cooking but rarely does it,

♣ never had any other hair colors.

♣ didn’t like any of the casa amor girls, but respected blake’s strategy. at the beach hut: “i reckon she’s playing the right game here, and if that guarantees her a spot, who am i to say no? we’re in a game.”

♣ the cool aunt to her friends’ kids.

♣ knows a couple of card tricks but doesn’t tell anyone.

♣ likes it rough. i said what i said.

♣ can’t stand taking care of long hair. won’t let it grow.

[razorblade180]

I know you literally just posted it but can I get some more of that sunshower fluff? Fockin love it.

Only because I have ideas and I’m eating my favorite dessert

[The mountains]

Ilia:I can’t believe you talked me into this torture.

Sun:How does Ilia, professional assassin, quiver at hiking?

Ilia:Technically I’m a an ex terrorist; one that defected so you can argue that I’m not even good at it.

Sun:Spitting hairs. Just enjoy the change in scenery! Fresh air, calming winds, good exercise.

Ilia:You dropping hints about my waistline? *smirks*

Sun:I would never! Hehe, although….

Ilia:Hardy har har, you’re just jealous I can eat all I want and look this good.

Sun:Ooo you got me. I’m totally jealous that my girlfriend looks gorgeous all the time.

Ilia’s spots turned pink and she got quiet. Not much she could say to that. Eventually they made it a mountain clearing with a view. Vast, dense forest with massive lakes that fed into winding rivers carved the landscape into a work of art that Ilia couldn’t help but find awe inspiring.

Sun:Can’t find this on your couch now can you.

Ilia:No kidding. I’ll give it to ya. You know how to pick a spot. It’s postcard worthy. Any reason you wanted to come here, besides the view?

Sun:I just wanted to share this with you. Don’t get me wrong, I never care much about what we decide to do together, but it’s nice to be with you off the couch for a change.

Ilia:Yeah? Sorry about that. Haven’t really been motivated to do much of anything recently. Tired and down is all I’ve been lately. Thanks for this.

Sun:Don’t sweat it. I wanted to do this. Besides I will always give you a kick in the butt to get you going when you need it.

Ilia:Heh, must be hard work, putting in all this effort…

Sun:

Sun:Not to me. Not when it’s you.

If hearts could talk, Ilia’s would be yelling. Her eyes couldn’t meet his and her lips couldn’t stop from smiling softly at his words. The spots on her face got pinker as she felt his hand take hers. Somehow she found it in herself to look at him. Without words, Ilia closed her eyes. It wasn’t long before the feeling of Sun’s hand rested on her face, holding it steady as her lips were captured by his with the upmost care and compassion. Ilia pulled him in close, hiding her flustered face in his chest as he chuckled.

Ilia:Unbelievable, I’ve really fallen for you, haven’t I?

Sun:Is that a bad thing?

Ilia:No, not when it feels this good. Not when it’s you.

Sun:*hugs her* I feel the same.

[gudriin]

-

[emorish-avian]

VERY GOOD AND VALID TAKE OP

the flock from shortest to tallest (+ species stuff??)

iggy - 6′1″ but he’s stopped growing (ferrunginous hawk)

max - 5′11″ and she’s still growing so watch out iggy (red-tailed hawk)

nudge - 5′6″ and done growing (tawny owl)

fang - 5′3″ and done growing (little crow)

gazzy - 5′1″ and still growing (rock ptarmigan)

angel - 4′11″ and still growing (ross’s goose)

[rebel6301]

toinoight on tactical geare

i drive a silent ele-electric APC

gr3ase uses a fockin toilet

and H a r o l d commits arson

warning: show budget does not exceed 23 chuck e cheese tokens

good evening ladies and gents our sponsors today are H&K (just kidding they would never sponsor us) p[romo code revving my homemade armoured car tonoight

(laughter)

today we will be reviweing on of a kin tank that has fucking uhh 5.45 gigahertz of revving boom sound goesu p to the fuaking i dont know 88 milimeters per every time i find a proper respectable human being in this world

(wheezing)

helo mate we're going to ubnnigns you want anything? (incomprehensible chanting from Harold)

oi love you posh dickhead you combgfhfgh.tfhg.. give me ciggie innit shit bloke fuking.. uhh.

OQ yro'ue are drunk again get rest

rebl you tiny man where is the silent ele-electric APC

gone crashed into harold's car mate

rebel you sodding tic tac this was the silent ele-electric APC\

call 999 my focking silent ele-electric APC's being on fire mate

harodl im have crac addiction ia m die

rbel i have to write the divorce papers i cagnfg.. hghg..

dont hav petrolum hralold

tody on tacticool gear what happens when taste exhoost foome from tank

k ill have a whiff

'ery noice

no rebel,car gad bas for helf

(wheezing and coughing) sHut uP (laughing and coughing)

cock

shut up gr3ase

the esped is a lot mate

weed

silent ele-electric APC

feet

tactical gea- (wheezing and laughter)

[prophet-of-booba-lady]

Hello! Could I possibly get a re8 matchup? My friends call me Noodles btw-

Pronouns and Sexuality: She/They, bi disaster

Appearance: I am a 5'7" pale skin female with long, straight brown hair, green eyes, light freckles, glasses, and scars everywhere from being a stupid kid. Most of the time I have on a random shirt, a thin grey jacket, baggy jeans, and any shoes I can manage to find.

Personality: Very shy and just filled with social anxiety but when I get comfortable with someone I turn into a complete and utter dumbass. I tend not to talk a lot and will sit and listen to someone for hours. If I'm comfortable with someone though I will actually talk more and sit there making jokes and shitty puns any chance I get, I like making people laugh. It's hard to piss me off and I have pretty thick skin :)

Likes and or Hobbies: Drawing, painting, listening to music, fantasy, ARGs, those weird 10 second videos you find on YouTube in the middle of the night, collecting random shit ranging from little glass bottles to cool looking rocks.

I really don't think I have a favorite emoji since I don't really use them :/

Anyway I hope you have a good day dude!

Ethan focking Winters. (Lord's help him defeat Miranda AU)

Look this mas also has high anxiety and would love you to death. Now we all know that if this were to happen Miranda is focking TKOed. Anyways you and Ethan are besties with the lord's. Alcina will take rose off Ethan and yours hands so you can have a date night. The man appreciates that you are nothing like his ex wife, Mia. You guys live in the Dimitrescu castle because Alcina wouldn't have it any other way. Family game nights ever fockin week. If you are sore he will rub your back. The man cares so much for your well being because you care for his and his daughters well being. Rose finds you funny and will call you mom if you're comfortable with it. The man likes when you run your hands through his hair and likes cuddling. His love language is cuddles. He's probably the softest of the characters and just wants a happy life. He will fuck someone up for you if they make you uncomfortable though. He likes when you do small drawings or sketches of rose or him. It doesn't have to even be that good he will steal it from you before you an correct your mistake and put it on the fridge.

He's such a good dad. I hope you liked this!

- The Prophet

[neerasrealm]

AAAAAAAAAAA I LOVED that poly!Slender x reader x LJ!! I didn’t originally request it, but if it’s not too much, can I please request a sequel (featuring the adorable Slendra Jackson?) Ty! 😁😁

Anon you have no idea how happy this request made me- I NEVER get asks about my OCs so you calling Slendra adorable and aSKING TO INTERACT WITH HER??? MADE ME REALLY REALLY HAPPY SO THANK YOU- sorry this ask took a bit to answer, I only got your ask late in the evening so I had to finish it off over the course of my morning. Thank you again for the ask!! I hope you like what I came up with- (put it under a cut since it’s a little long)

‘’More wine, dear?’’ Slender asks you from across the couch. It’s late, and quiet. A rare combination here in the mansion. Somehow, every other person in the mansion is downstairs, in their room or somewhere else. Meaning you and your two boyfriends are free to occupy the couch by yourselves and have a quiet evening, and you couldn’t ask for more. Being curled up against Jack’s soft body with Slender’s arms wrapped around you both. Even Jack is being quiet for once, his face resting against Slender’s chest. He might be asleep- you’re honestly not sure.

‘’Sure.’’ you murmur back, looking up at Slender. He seems to smile despite his lack of face and reaches over to the coffee table, pouring you some wine from the already-half empty bottle sitting on it. A benefit of not being human, you guessed, was being able to drink a lot of the stuff without worrying about intoxication. As you’re taking another sip from your glass a soft, shy voice interrupts you.

‘’Mama? Pops? Dad?’’ 

The three of you look over at the voice’s owner. A short girl with fiery hair and brownish-purple skin. Her eyes are bright and gold, and she has pale red horns and dark red claws that scratch gently against the bannister she’s holding. Your shared daughter- it’s odd, she’s not related to you, she’s adopted like every other child in the mansion, but she’s one of the few that calls you mom. Everyone took fairly naturally to you dating the mansion’s ‘dads’, just treating it like you were dating anyone else, but Slendra? She’s been calling you mom since day one. Not that you're complaining.

‘’Need somefink, luv?’’ Jack murmurs behind you. He sits up a bit. 

Slendra shifts where she stands. ‘’...can I get a bedtime story?’’ she asks quietly. Slender IMMEDIATELY sits up, alert. ‘’I-I know I’m a little old for it but-’’

‘’Ye can’t ou’grow bedtime stories, kiddo.’’ Jack says. Slender nods. You can’t help but smile a little bit at the two’s excitement- though Slender’s is far more obvious. You can’t blame them. Slendra is beginning to hit that- odd phase where kids think they need to act like adults. Except she’s only five years old. Damn demon aging. ‘’Ow abou’ me an’ Slen do i’ fer ya? I’ll do th’ voices an’ ‘e can narra’e. Like when ye were li’le.’’

You look at the two of them. ‘’I want in too.’’

‘’Ye can be th’ damsel in distress.’’

You give Jack an offended look and playfully slap his chest. ‘’Rude. Slender fits the damsel role better and you know it.’’

‘’...I do look good in a dress.’’ Slender says as he climbs off the couch. You and LJ cackle in amusement. Slendra giggles shyly.

The three of you follow Slendra upstairs to her room and walk inside. Her room is like a mix between Jack’s room and Slender’s office. Her walls are a deep lavender with darker swirls running across them. Her bed is round, oddly, and covered in pillows. She has a desk piled high with books and papers for her drawing and writing habits and her ceiling is covered in not only glow in the dark stairs, but music notes too. Her carpet is soft and your socked feet sink right into it. There's shelves on nearly every wall, full of toys, trinkets or books.

The little demon girl crawls into her bed and grabs her favorite stuffed toy- a purple and green dog you tried to win for her at a carnival but...well of course the game was rigged. It was actually her older brother EJ who managed to win it for her. With a little help from his demonic strength of course. She named it Scam, and you’re still proud of her for that.

The three of you all sit down at the foot of her bed. "Wha're ye in th' mood fer then?" Jack asks.

"Can you make a story?" Slendra asks, her eyes shining. A toothy grin curls up Jack's face. 

"Oh, I ge' ta flex me wri'in' t'nigh', eh?" He reaches into a puffy sleeve and pulls out a book. Slendra grins excitedly. You glance at the book's cover. Apparently Jack's homemade bedtime story is called 'The Damsel's Dragon'.

He clears his throat and opens the book. "Once upon a time, there wuz a pre'y young lass named…" Jack holds the book over to Slender. He shoots Jack an annoyed look and sighed.

"Damsel N. D. Stress." He finishes in the most airy, feminine voice you've ever heard him do. The three of you laugh while Slender fixes his tie. 

"Damsel wuz th' pre'ies' lass in th' land. People came far an' wide ta see 'er an' 'er collection 'f antique ties. All th' men in th' land wanted 'er 'and in marriage, bu' she wanted none 'f tha'." You watch Jack hold the book over to Slender again. 

"I hate you." Slender mutters. Slendra giggles. "Oh if only a big, handsome clown would come to admire my ties... if only…"

You laugh so hard you almost fall off the bed. Jack's hand reaches over quickly, his palm against your back, and pushes you back up. You snicker. "Sorry, sorry continue."

"Damsel spen' 'er days in 'er castle, wishin' an 'opin as th' worl' wen' by. Until one day, th' castle began ta shake! 'Er ties fell off th' shelves, 'er wine smashed to the ground!"

"Not the wine!" Slender exclaims in that airy, overly dramatic voice. You snicker again. 

"Th' castle stopped rockin' an' Damsel ran up ta th' top tower ta see wha' 'ad 'appened. When she go' up there, she saw a big migh'y dragon sleepin' on 'er castle's roof!" Jack stops and nudges you. "Ye're th' dragon." He whispers. You grin. 

The book is handed to Slender again. "Mr dragon, whatever are you doing up on my roof?" He exclaims. Jack holds the book over to you. Slendra looks at you excitedly. You're nowhere near as good at voices when compared to Slender and Jack, but Slendra doesn't seem to mind. You clear your throat.

"I'm taking a nap of course!" You growl out. Jack smiles as he passes the book to Slender again.

"Fockin' 'orrifyin', luv."

"Jack!" The three of you yelp. He laughs a bit.

"Sorry."

"Well you can't nap up here!" Slender continues with the story. "This is my castle! You have to go somewhere else!"

You lean over Jack's shoulder to see your next line. "Mmmm…No." You say. 

"Now Damsel wuz'nt tha' dumb. She knew be'er than ta argue wiv a dragon, an' so she wen' back into 'er castle an' began lookin' fer a way to ge' rid of th' dragon." 

"Good to know you don't see me as a total idiot." Slender murmurs.

"Wha' do ya mean? This isn' you, i's Damsel."

"Of course it is."

Jack grins to himself and looks back at the book. "She looked through 'er ye ol' phone book an' foun' somefink ta 'elp 'er!" He looks up at Slendra for a moment. "Th' mos' famous dragon extermina'or in th' worl'. 'Er name wuz Jackie Ardlens."

You force yourself to to 'awe' at the Slendra self-insert. She doesn't seem to have realised the character is literally named after her. 

"Jackie came ta th' castle an Damsel led 'er up ta th' tower."

"It's terrible!" Slender exclaims. "That great big ugly dragon does nothing but snore all day!"

"I don't snore." You retort. Slendra looks at you. You clear your throat. "I don't snore." You say again, this time in your dragon voice. She laughs. 

"Oh dragon," Slender continues with the story, ignoring you. "I've brought someone to drive you away!" You can't help but smile at how much he's actually getting into this role. Slendra is certainly enjoying it too.

"Huh? Drive me away?" You growl back at him. "How am I supposed to fit into a car?"

A grin curls up Jack's face. "Jackie stepped forward an' looked up a' th' dragon." He passes the book to Slendra who looks surprised, but then smiles wide.

"I've come to make you leave this poor lady alone!" She reads. "Why do you want to stay on this castle so bad?" 

"Why the sun of course, it's nice and warm up here. And this castle is the comfiest bed I've ever had!" You read back. 

"Hm…" Slendra cups her chin in her hand, pretending to think. "Well I say we build a new tower for you to sleep on! That way both of you will be happy."

Slender clasps his hands together. "Of course! That can be arranged." He says. Jack takes the book back and turns to the very last page.

"An' so, they buil' a big ol' tower fer th' dragon ta sleep on, an Damsel continued ta collec' 'er ties an' live 'appily ever after." He closes the book and smiles. "The end."

Slendra smiles wide. "I liked that one."

"Good." Jack leans in and kisses her forehead. "Now ge' yer res, swee'pea." He says softly while Slender pats the girls head. 

"Mama?" As you're following Jack and Slender out of the room Slendra calls you. You stop and look at her, curled up around Scam, a bright golden eye looking at you. "I love you."

You swear you can feel yourself practically melt for a moment. You smile at her. "I love you too, sweetheart." You say softly. She smiles, a couple fangs glinting in the light, then closes her eyes and snuggles up under the covers.

[silke-doomflare]

A fateful encounter

Valentione’s day had always been one of Lareine’s favorite festivals, but this year she was somewhat disappointed. After a long, loud argument from both sides, Varg had let her drop her duties at the manor and travel to Gridania. Lareine had asked Varg to join her, but he had stated most of festivals to be just claptrap and waste of time. Lareine had asked Arsene too, but he had politely declined and also mentioned something about jobs undone.

She had never, ever seen either of them having fun! Did they even, ever? If not, how it was even possible? Lareine was certain if one didn’t party hard time to time, they’d eventually get sick from too much work or go crazy without themselves even noticing. She would definitely need some help in softening them, she thought. It took way too much time to do alone.

It was already getting late, but it didn’t slow down the celebrators. Colorful fireworks dappled the black sky and lanterns were kindled. Some of them were sent flying and some sailing. Every place was full of beautiful colors, delicious food and good music.

Most of Lareine’s money had gone to airship tickets, but she still had a couple of gil left. She ended up buying a stick with cotton candy on it from one of the stalls. Where would she get money from to get back to Ishgard? No point worrying about it now. Time to party! She wouldn’t let some stiff old men ruin her fun.

Lareine was wandering around the faire, watching people come and go. Everyone else had someone with them. People had either come there with their spouses, dates, family or friends. She seemed to be the only one by herself.

Like cherry on the top of her jealousy was the damned love labyrinth. People who entered had to go through the labyrinth without straying too far from each other, while dodging moogle traps. When they got through, their names were announced to the cheering crowd nearby, and they also got cute prizes to take home: heart shaped cakes, cookies, pink ribbons, plushies… Gods damn it, what Lareine wouldn’t have given for a pink mammet toy with a heart shaped tuft on her night desk?

Suddenly Lareine bumped into something - or someone, she thought to herself, when she heard another surprised, high-pitched cry in addition to her own. She was too slow to grab a better hold of her pink cotton candy, and she could almost see the horrendous situation in slow motion, as her precious delicacy fell towards the sandy, partly muddy ground. There was a soft thud, and she noticed strawberry soft ice with marshmallows in it, laying at her feet next to her cotton candy. Shocked, Lareine lifted her gaze from the ground to in front of her, and was staring into huge, turquoise eyes framed by ash black, messy hair and round eyeglasses. The otherwise cute, bookwormish appearance didn’t fit at all with long, black, high-heeled thighboots and detailed, pompous looking robe usually worn by archmages. The female viera didn’t seem many years younger than Lareine was. “How dare you?! Look what you did!” she screamed, pointing at Lareine with a pale, petite hand with long, black claws and pretentious, huge ring in its index finger. “Watch where you’re walking!” Lareine inhaled deeply. “Get a new fockin’ pair o’ glasses, four-eyes, and watch where yer goin’! Tha heck ya doin’ ‘ere alone aniway??” she cried loudly with as unattractive voice as she possibly could whatever happened to pop up into her mind. “Yer boyfriend left ya, because yer a such a clumsy fockin’ shite? Ya lost ‘im into da heckin’ labyrinth, ya blind excuse for a friggin’ ‘little miss moonshine?!” They both fell silent for a moment, during which the viera’s facial expressions shifted very fast. First she looked aghast, then furious, then suddenly, distinctively accidentally jubilant, and finally annoyed for letting herself slip. They both burst into hysterical laughter at the same time. Lareine wasn’t even sure what they were laughing at, but she guessed eventually they were just laughing at each other laughing. Finally the viera managed to gather her self control enough to stop giggling and wiped a tear from her eye. Some passers by were eyeing at them disapprovingly, but she didn’t seem to care. “Oh gods…”, she blurted and briefly examined her clothing, probably making sure there was no ice-cream in it. “You sound like a vulture.” Lareine opened her mouth and was very close to start yelling again, but then the viera added, grinning kindly: “They’re my favorite birds.” Lareine closed her mouth, while the viera took a step closer and offered her hand. “Silke Doomflare”, she introduced herself, trying to sound formal, but her huge, beautiful doe eyes and extravagant make-up watered it down quite effectively. They shook hands. “I’m so, so sorry about my outburst”, Silke started to explain, while shaking Lareine’s hand very rapidly. “You know, I’ve had the absolute, worst day ever… actually the worst week ever and this was my first chance in ages to have some fun, and then…” She shook her head. “But you’re absolutely right. I should’ve watched where I’m going. And I mean, pff, it’s just ice-cream”, she made a dismissive gesture with her other hand. “I can just buy a new one.” Finally Silke noticed she had forgotten they were still holding hands, and she quickly yanked it away like she had just gotten electrocuted. Lareine blinked at the fuzzing viera in front of her. A weird sensation washed over her. Was it the suddenly died outburst? Or the huge, pretty doe eyes behind those round glasses? Or this weird girl holding her hand? Lareine had not felt like this since… “N… No, I should ‘ave watched where I go”, Lareine confessed. “I was lost in mi  thoughts. It’s been friggin’ ages since my last visit to any public happenin’. Name’s Ir... Uhh... Lareine, by tha way. Lareine Kira.” The name brought a sour taste on the viera’s tongue, but what could she do? Better safe than sorry.

Would it have been inappropriate to shake hands again? Lareine scolded herself for even thinking about it.

“I dink I spent mi last gil onto dat friggin’ sweet, but whutever”, she continued. “I’m gettin’ an overdose o’ sugar o’ dese decorations and lovebirds all over da place anyway.” Lareine put her hands behind her back and shifted her weight from one foot to another. “So.. DID ya lose yer boyfriendo into da friggin’ maze?” Silke stared at Lareine in disbelief, blinked her eyes for a few times and then gave an incredulous laugh. “Honey, please”, she said, while making the dismissive gesture with her hand again. “I’m way too busy with my magick studies to waste my precious time on boys. Besides, they mostly just manage to annoy me. You know, most of them I’ve met…”, she lowered her voice into a whisper. “…have their brain down there.” She pointed somewhere towards the ground. “And I really enjoy the old-fashioned, functioning brain more than -” Suddenly she closed her mouth so quickly Lareine could hear a faint snap. “Oh gods, I sound like a zombie!” Lareine could almost see into Silke’s head, how it was cramped full of old, dusty bookshelves. Silke wasn’t quite sure where things were stored, and when she tried to take something from the dangerously swaying pile, a bunch of others also fell out. “I’ve been holding you back for a good while already, Lareine”, Silke noted finally, interrupting Lareine’s thoughts. “Allow me at least to buy a new cotton candy for you before I go.” “N-no need”, Lareine exclaimed, shaking her head and lifting her hands in front of her. “Like I said, I already ‘ad an overdose o’ -” “Then allow me to give you money for something else you’d like -”, Silke was digging something up from her pocket. “N-no, I don’t wanna -”, Lareine tried to deter. “Take the damn money or I’ll throw it into the nearest lake!” Silke hissed, gently grabbed Lareine’s wrist and dropped a bunch of gil on her palm. The coins were so shiny they looked like brand new. The mage bowed politely and was about to turn to leave. “Actually..!” Lareine cried out. “Ya haven’t been ‘olding mi back, Silke. Quite the contrary! Tha main reason I was on such a bad mood was because I ‘ad to come ‘ere all alone. Tha only two I asked to come wid mi are soo fockin’ busy all tha time, damn married with deir works dey are…” Silke blinked again, looking surprised. Then she laughed. “Are you kidding me? I could’ve said that.” Lareine looked at her curiously, while she continued: “I also asked my sister to come with me here, and she, too, declined - surprise, surprise: because of work! So I came alone.”

They stared at each other for a moment. “Well, if ya insist -”, Lareine started and slipped the coins into her pocket. “Well, if I’m not disturbing -”, Silke started at the same time. They both fell silent, waiting for the other one to say their thing first. A stubborn smile tried to creep its way on Silke’s face. “Show me where the damn cotton candy shop is”, she ordered grandiloquently, while pointing randomly somewhere towards the crowd. “We go there first. And then we go to the ice-cream shop. And after that… hmm, do you happen to like games?”

[iris-ymir]

Who does your muse look up to as a role model?

“...A role model?”, Iris tilted her head back, giving a quick glance towards the old elezen, sitting by the piano. Viera had drifted deep into her thoughts, while listening to rather melancholic melody the old man was playing. Sudden question took her by suprise. “Whut the ‘ell are yer lips flappin’ about, Granpa? I dun ‘ave a role model... Role models are for friggin’ kids, who still believe in deir fairytales. When ya grow up, yer gonna learn, dose stories are not real. Plain words, written by broken minds. Yer gonna drink bit too much in a party, and seven dirty, old men will abuse ya, while yer passed out... Yer gonna fall in love wid a monster... marry dat motherfocker, believin’ yer gonna cure dem wid love. After years ‘ave passed, yer still stuck wid dat monster, who’s gonna beat ya daily, and drink tha pain away. Finally, yer gonna overdose on meds, and friggin’ take yer last trip to da Wonderland. Tha world we live in, is a fockin’ ‘ell’ole. We’re all beyond savin’. Fallen from grace. All we can do is take tha most outta it.“ Moving her gaze onto the dancing flames of fireplace, Iris took out a pack of coffin nails, placed one between her black lips, and lit it. “Can ya play dat one more time, Gramps..?”