#\\thank you all who sent these in. it’s been fun. and sorry it’s taken so long
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Note
✤ - a memory that involves romance/love
If you can. For whatever reason they come across as aro to me
[There’s no folder labelled anything similar to “love” or “romance” so you look through some of the people folders you haven’t watched from yet. A file called “best night in years” catches your eye, but there isn’t a subbed version. Curiosity gets the better of you as you accept your fate.]
[Contains alcohol, drunkenness and suggestive content]
“I said I’d be out until eleven. It’s half ten now.”
“We haven’t even gotten inside yet!”
“Yeah, cahm oooon, man! Pleease?” Their tone is teasing, a far cry from their usual tired sound. This is news to their company too; they copy their accent, pleading “cahm on” to the centre of attention. A man not hugely far off No Name in height — 6’1” maximum — at least compared to the rest of the small group. His hair looks black but, watching how the streetlights affect it, it seems to really be dark grey. Annoyed, he looks to No Name directly and holds their gaze. His eyes are hazel that glows orange when light hits them just right, disrupted (or complemented) by spots of grey. His glower softens into an unintentional smile and he shakes his head. “Fine.”
Three of the group of five wait out the rest of the club’s line with inaudible chatter. The man stays next to the pov, out of sight. His words are clear.
“Why did I ever tell them about you?”
“Aven’t the foggiest. Terrible choice on your part.”
The memory cuts straight to a montage of sorts, snippets of moments throughout the night: the whole group doing shots, watching and cheering people on the dance floor, the group with another round of shots, two people from the group making out, No Name and the man cheersing their drinks, the man hunched over absolutely losing it laughing. It ends on a scene like the last two, No Name and the man sat on two sides of a corner sofa.
“… so, lie, A dun ge why peopl evun tok abou thum lie tha! Ow r y opin t compeyre “awh, erythan n th worl’s fockin wich y ed, ere’s tu kids n ow thuy ar n thumselvs n wiv echotha” t “waheey, groovay sons wi no ovarchin thin bisides s on th album”? A dun derstan, A really dun…”
Throughout their rambling they’re moving hair out of their face (you presume; there’s no hair to be seen but the actions line up). The man across from them is watching. His lips are pursed, at least what you can see as his hand covers most of them, though his eyes show his entertainment clear as day. He nods along until No Name’s rant gradually tapers off. Though said with annoyance, you can hear the smile on their face.
“Whas y smilin bout?”
The man sighs and releases some of the laughter he’d been straining to hold in. “I really shouldn’t’ve let you get another drink.”
“Yuh go wun tu!”
After a pause he goes “mhm” and nods. The pov gives an exasperated noise, about to go off on one again until a shout catches both of their attentions.
“We’re heading out. They can ardly keep themselves— EY! Wait for— Enjoy your night, Ferris. And thank you for getting him in here!” The friend pats No Name on the shoulder as they push past.
“We should head out too. Get you home. Forge’ll get on me if I’m sluggish in the morning for work.”
“Arigh, arigh…”
Ferris stands easily enough but fumbles his first step. No Name swiftly catches him and holds him upright.
“Wha was y sayn bou tha dri?”
“… how are you okay?”
“This ain much. A’m speakin ow A normly speak.”
Once he processes what they’re saying, he exhales in defeat, rests his head below their collarbone, and says, “I’m never going to Galar with you.”
“A wouldn dream t take y there.”
Ferris tilts his head up so his chin rests on No Name’s collarbone. He speaks tenderly.
“Take me home, T
[The file crashes.]
#memory file ask game#pkmn irl#pokemon irl#pokeblog#ferris from ferrum#\\they’re all done. holy mother of fuck i did them all#\\thank you all who sent these in. it’s been fun. and sorry it’s taken so long
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"Did the love affair maim you too?"
Joel miller x f!reader
next part
Summary: Joel doesn't like you until he loses all his memories.
w.c: 14k> (longest piece I've written and my eyes are dry)
warnings: fluff, mention of amnesia, memory loss, ANGST and angst, and more angst because I love angst. There is smut but you already know I'm bad at writing that. No proof reading, I'm lazy, sorry.
a/n: hello! I got inspired by this "memory loss" type of story. It was supposed to be a one shoot, but I had to split the whole thing so another part is more likely to happen. I know there has been some drama surrounding writers and I want to say that every single person who writes and makes an art with that is amazing! Everyone who is reading this, please give creators here your flowers. With that being said, Happy reading or not 😭💌 Reblogs and comments are always appreciated. (come on, talk to me)
dividers by @saradika-graphics
Joel didn't used to hate women, but man, when he met you for the first time, you crawled under his skin. He had fun with you, making jokes, trying to get on your nerves. For his hell, everyone in Jackson loved you; after all, you were the nurse and the sweetheart. Always looking after everyone, always being sweet to everyone.
It was a sunny afternoon when you first arrived in Jackson, your kind demeanor and skilled hands quickly gaining the trust and admiration of the townsfolk. Joel watched from a distance with his arms crossed and a scowl on his face. He couldn't understand why everyone was so taken with you. To him, you seemed too soft, too gentle for the brutal world they lived in.
"Hey, Joel," Tommy called out one day, pulling Joel from his brooding thoughts. "We're heading out on patrol. You should meet the new nurse. She's something else."
Joel grunted in response, not bothering to hide his disinterest. He didn't need to meet you to know what kind of person you were. In his mind, you were just another naive newcomer who wouldn't last a week.
But fate had other plans. That very evening, a group of raiders attacked the outer perimeter. The town was thrown into chaos, and Joel found himself side by side with you, defending the walls. He couldn't help but notice your bravery and the way you handled yourself under pressure.
After the attack, as the town counted its injuries and losses, you worked tirelessly, tending to the wounded. Joel watched you, his irritation growing as he saw the way everyone fawned over you, thanking you for your care.
"Think you're some kind of hero, huh?" Joel muttered as he approached you, his voice laced with sarcasm.
You looked up at him, exhaustion evident in your eyes, but you offered a small, tired smile. "Just doing my job, Joel."
"Your job?" Joel scoffed. "You think patching up a few cuts and bruises is going to keep these people safe? This world doesn't care how sweet you are."
You met his gaze, unwavering. "And what would you have me do, Joel? Let them suffer? We're all trying to survive here, and we all have our roles to play."
Joel huffed and walked away, but your words lingered in his mind. Despite himself, he couldn't deny that you were right. Over the following weeks, Joel continued to watch you, his annoyance slowly giving way to a grudging respect. He noticed how you never backed down, how you always stood your ground, even when faced with his relentless jabs.
One day, during a particularly harsh winter storm, you and Joel were sent out on a supply run. The weather was brutal, and the path was treacherous. As the wind howled around you, Joel found himself instinctively moving closer, his protective instincts kicking in despite his irritation.
"Watch your step," he warned, his voice gruff.
You nodded, shivering against the cold. "Thanks, Joel."
As you both trudged forward, the wind picked up, and visibility dropped to almost nothing. You focused on placing one foot in front of the other, barely able to see Joel a few steps ahead. Suddenly, you heard a sharp crack and a thud.
"Joel!" you shouted, fear gripping your heart.
Rushing forward, you found Joel lying on the ground, unconscious, blood trickling from a gash on his forehead. He must have slipped on the ice and hit his head on a rock hidden beneath the snow.
Panic set in, but you forced yourself to stay calm. You needed to get him back to Jackson quickly. You checked his pulse, relieved to find it steady, then did your best to bandage the wound with the supplies you had. With great effort, you managed to lift Joel and drape him over your shoulder, carrying him back through the storm.
By the time you reached Jackson, you were exhausted and freezing, but you didn't stop until you got Joel to the infirmary. The doctors took over, treating his wound and monitoring his condition.
You sat by Joel's bedside, watching him closely. Hours passed, and eventually he began to stir. His eyes fluttered open, and he looked around, disoriented.
"Joel?" you said softly, leaning forward.
He turned his head to you, his brow furrowing in confusion. But then, a slow, almost lazy smile spread across his face. "Well, hello there, beautiful," he said, his voice low and smooth. "Did I die and wake up in heaven?"
You blink, taken aback by his words. "Uh, Joel, it's me. Do you remember what happened?"
Joel's smile didn't waver as he looked at you. "I remember everything... except meeting you before. Are you sure we haven't met in a dream?"
You glanced at Tommy, who had just walked into the room, and saw the same confusion mirrored on his face. "Joel," Tommy said cautiously, stepping closer, "do you know who I am?"
Joel's eyes shifted to Tommy, his smile fading into a look of mild frustration. "Of course I do, Tommy. You're my brother. But I'm more interested in getting to know this doll here."
Tommy exchanged bewildered looks with you. "Joel, this is… Ah. She's... well, you two never really got along."
Joel's eyebrows shot up in surprise. "Really? Well, I must've been an idiot then because I can't imagine not liking someone like you."
Your heart raced, unsure how to respond to this flirtatious side of Joel, the same who hours ago was trying to crawl under your skin, the same one who had rejected you all this time. "Joel, you really don't remember me at all?"
Joel shook his head, still gazing at you with that same enamored look. "Not a thing. But I gotta say, I feel like I'm seeing you for the first time, and I like what I see."
Tommy scratched his head, clearly at a loss. "This is... something else. We need to figure out what happened to his memory."
You nodded, trying to process the sudden shift in Joel's demeanor. You knew the hit on the head did something to his memory, but you didn’t know how to face it. "Joel, you hit your head pretty hard. The doctors said you might have some memory loss. Maybe this is part of it."
Joel reached out and gently took your hand, his touch sending a shiver down your spine. "Well, if forgetting the past means I get to start over with you, I think I can live with that."
You couldn't help but blush, feeling a mix of confusion and something else you couldn't quite place. Perhaps butterflies are flying all around inside your tummy. "We'll take it slow, okay? There's a lot you need to know."
Joel's grip on your hand tightened slightly, his eyes never leaving yours. "As long as you're the one teaching me, I'm all in."
Tommy coughed awkwardly, breaking the moment. "Alright, let's give Joel some time to rest and recover. We'll figure this out together."
You nodded, reluctantly pulling your hand away from Joel's. "Get some rest, Joel. We'll talk more later."
As you and Tommy left the room, you couldn't shake the feeling of Joel's gaze following you. Tommy put a reassuring hand on your shoulder. "We'll get to the bottom of this. Just... be careful. He's not the same Joel right now."
You nodded, your mind racing with the implications of Joel's memory loss and his sudden interest in you. The days ahead were sure to be challenging, but you couldn't deny the flicker of excitement at the thought of getting to know this new, more open version of Joel.
A version where he could get to know you and maybe, like, a new story waiting to be written with the both of you becoming friends, and not just acquaintances just having to tolerate each other for the community’s sake.
The days following Joel's accident were a whirlwind of confusion and unexpected emotions dancing on your mind. Joel's flirtatious comments and affectionate demeanor were a stark contrast to the gruff, often combative man you had known before.
You had started to get used to feeling his nice demeanor towards you. You found yourself happier than before, smiling at the thought of him when you weren’t with him, and he had become your last thought on your bed just before going to sleep, but you were aware his condition perhaps wasn’t permanent and he was going to recover his memories of you, so you didn’t want to take advantage of that, nor did you want to fall for Joel, not when the fear of him waking up one day and hating you as usual was a threat.
His recovery was slow but steady, and you spent a lot of time by his side, helping him piece together the fragments of his memory. Every interaction felt like walking on fire, with Joel's behavior making your heart flutter and your mind racing at thousand miles per hour.
As you were changing the bandage on his head, Joel watched you with a soft smile. "You know, you have the gentlest touch. It's like you're an angel sent to take care of me."
You blushed, avoiding his gaze. "I'm just doing my job, Joel. Making sure your pretty head heals properly."
Joel reached up and gently brushed a strand of hair behind your ear. "You're more than just a nurse to me now. I don't know what it is, but I feel this connection with you. Like we're meant to be."
You took a deep breath, trying to steady your emotions. "Joel, a few days ago I was nothing to you. You don’t remember me, so please just focus on getting better."
Joel's expression softened; his eyes filled with earnestness. "I get it, but I can't help how I feel. This connection—it's real to me, even if I don't remember our past."
You bit your lip, feeling a mix of frustration and affection. "Joel, you're vulnerable right now. Your mind is trying to make sense of everything, and it's confusing. We need to take things slow."
Joel nodded reluctantly, his hand lingering near your cheek before he pulled it back. "I trust you. Just know that I'm here, and I want to get to know you, past or no past."
You gave him a reassuring smile. "One step at a time, okay? Let's focus on getting you back on your feet first."
Just then, Tommy walked in, carrying a tray of food. He cleared his throat, causing you to step back from Joel. "Brought you some lunch, big brother. How’re you feeling?"
Joel's eyes lit up at the sight of his brother. "Thanks, Tommy. I'm feeling better every day. And with this sunshine here, it's hard not to feel good."
Tommy gave you a knowing look, his concern evident. "Glad to hear it. Mind if I have a word with you outside?" he asked, looking towards you.
You nodded, feeling a mix of relief and anxiety. "Of course, Tommy."
As you stepped outside the room, Tommy closed the door behind you, his expression serious. "How are you holding up?"
You sighed, crossing your arms. "It's... complicated. Joel is so different now. He's kind, attentive, and he seems genuinely interested in me. But he doesn't remember our past—how much we clashed."
Tommy nodded, his face lined with concern. "I can see how that would be confusing. But you have to be careful. This might just be his way of coping with the memory loss. He's latching onto the one constant he has right now—you."
You looked down, feeling a lump form in your throat. "I know. I'm trying to keep my distance, but it's hard. He's... he's different, Tommy. And I can't deny that I'm starting to care for him."
Tommy placed a hand on your shoulder, his grip firm and reassuring. "I get it. But you need to remember that his memory might come back, and when it does, he could revert to the Joel we knew before. You have to protect yourself, too."
“Am I that unlovable?” you sighed.
Tommy's expression softened, and he shook his head. "No, you're not unlovable. Far from it. But the Joel we knew before... he had his walls up, and you know how stubborn he can be. If his memory comes back, he might go back to those old habits, those old defenses."
You nodded, feeling the weight of his words. "I understand. It's just... complicated."
Tommy gave your shoulder a reassuring squeeze. "Just take it slow. Don't rush into anything, and remember to take care of yourself too. You suffered a lot before arriving here."
You managed a small smile. "Thanks, Tommy. I needed that."
Tommy smiled back. "Anytime."
Returning to Joel's room, you found him sitting up, his eyes lighting up as you walked in. "Hey, everything okay?"
You nodded, forcing a smile. "Yeah, just had a chat with Tommy."
Joel's expression became thoughtful. "You know, I'm really grateful for everything you're doing for me. I can't imagine what it must be like, dealing with me like this."
You sat down beside him, taking a deep breath. "It's not easy, Joel, but it's worth it. You're worth it."
Joel reached out, taking your hand in his. "You know, even though I don't remember everything, I feel like I'm seeing you for the first time. And I like what I see."
Your heart raced, and you struggled to keep your emotions in check. "Joel, we need to take things slow. Focus on your recovery first."
Joel nodded, a small smile playing on his lips. "I understand. But I can't help how I feel."
He has repeated the same phrase as before, and you couldn’t help but feel yourself diving into a deep ocean for him.
You squeezed his hand gently. "One step at a time, okay?"
Joel's eyes held a determined glint. "One step at a time."
The late afternoon sun cast long shadows across the Jackson settlement as you walked briskly toward the main gate, your medical bag slung over your shoulder. You spotted Joel waiting for you, his arms crossed and a scowl already etched on his face.
"You're late," he growled as you approached.
You rolled your eyes. "I'm five minutes late, Joel. I had to take care of a kid with a fever."
Joel grunted, clearly unimpressed. "We have a schedule for a reason. Being late puts us at risk."
"Don't lecture me about risk," you shot back, your patience wearing thin. "I know the dangers out there just as well as you do."
Joel's eyes narrowed. "Do you? Because sometimes it feels like you're too soft for this world. Always stopping to help every stray animal and sick kid."
"Excuse me for having a heart," you snapped. "Not everyone wants to live like a damn machine."
"Having a heart can get you killed," Joel retorted, his voice rising. "Out there, you need to be tough. Focused."
"And maybe if you lightened up a bit, people wouldn't be so scared of you," you shot back, your frustration boiling over.
Joel took a step closer, his jaw clenched. "I don't care if people are scared of me. I care about keeping them safe. And you, with your bleeding heart, make that harder."
You felt a surge of anger and hurt at his words. "You know what, Joel? Maybe the problem isn't me. Maybe it's you. Maybe you're so wrapped up in your own pain that you can't see anyone else's."
Joel's face darkened, a mix of anger and something else—something like hurt—flashing in his eyes. "You don't know anything about my pain."
"And you don't know anything about mine," you replied, your voice trembling with emotion. "So maybe you should stop judging me and start seeing that we're all trying to survive in this hell together."
For a moment, the two of you stood there, the tension crackling between you like a live wire. Then Joel turned away, his shoulders stiff. "Let's just get this patrol over with."
You followed him out of the gate, your heart heavy with unresolved emotions. The silence between you was thick and uncomfortable, but neither spoke. The rift between you seemed insurmountable, and you couldn't see how things would ever change.
You woke up with a pain on your neck. You had fallen asleep on a chair next to Joel’s bed where he was now lay resting, his breathing even and steady. His recovery was going well, but the emotional landscape was far more complex and you wanted to take the risk to discover it.
You watched him for a moment, taking a mental picture of his face, the creases on his skin, how peaceful he looked like this. feeling the weight of uncertainty and guilt within you.
In that exact moment, Joel stirred, his eyes fluttering open. He looked around, his gaze settling on you with a warmth that made your heart skip a beat. "Hey, sunshine."
"Hey," you replied softly, mirroring his smile "How are you feeling?"
Joel stretched, wincing slightly but smiling nonetheless. "Better. Thanks to you."
You couldn't help but smile back, the tension easing a bit. "Just doing my job, Joel."
His eyes softened as he looked at you. "You're doing more than just your job. You've been taking care of me, looking out for me. I appreciate it."
You felt a warmth spread through you at his words. "It's what anyone would do."
Joel shook his head slightly. "No, not everyone. You're special, and I... I think I’m starting to understand that."
You felt a flutter in your chest at his words, a mix of emotions swirling within you. "Joel, you don't need to say that. You're still recovering, and things are confusing right now."
Joel's gaze remained steady, his expression earnest. "I mean it. There's something about you... something that's been here all along, and I was too stubborn to see it."
Your heart ached with the weight of his words, knowing how complicated the situation was. "Joel…”
“Did I care about you before?” he asked, gaze locked with yours.
You shook your head “No. Not really.”
You shook your head, feeling the sting of the truth. “No. Not really.”
Joel looked troubled, his brows knitting together. “I find that hard to believe. Because right now, I can’t imagine not caring about you.”
You took a deep breath, trying to find the right words. “Things were different before, Joel. We didn’t get along. You were... closed off, and I guess I was just someone who got under your skin.”
Joel’s expression softened with regret. “I’m sorry. For whatever I did to make you feel that way. I wish I could remember, but all I know is that right now, I see you, and I feel... connected.”
A memory from the past surged forward, vivid and painful. It was a cold evening in Jackson, just after a particularly difficult supply run. You and Joel had been at odds all day, and the tension between you was palpable.
"Why do you always have to be so damn difficult?" Joel snapped; his voice harsh as he slammed the door behind him.
You bristled at his tone, your own temper flaring. "Maybe because you treat me like I’m incompetent! I’m trying my best out there, Joel. We’re supposed to be a team."
Joel scoffed, his eyes narrowing. "A team? You’re a liability more than anything."
The words cut deep, but you stood your ground. "That’s not fair, and you know it. I’m just trying to help, like everyone else."
Joel’s face twisted with frustration. "Help? You call what you do helping? It’s a wonder anyone here can stand you."
The hurt was immediate and sharp, but you refused to let him see how much his words affected you. "At least I’m trying to do something good. You just push everyone away."
Joel stepped closer, his expression dark. "Maybe there’s a reason for that. I find it hard to believe anyone could actually love you."
The silence that followed was deafening. You stared at him, disbelief and pain warring within you. Without another word, you turned and left, unable to bear the weight of his cruelty.
Back in the present, you blinked, trying to dispel the memory. Joel was watching you closely, concern etched into his features. "What’s wrong?"
You forced a smile, though it didn’t reach your eyes. "Just... remembering something."
Joel reached out, gently taking your hand. "I wish I could remember too. So, I could make it right."
You looked down at your joined hands, the warmth of his touch grounding you. "Maybe it’s better this way.
Joel squeezed your hand gently. "A fresh start sounds good. But I still want to know everything. About us, about what I did wrong. So, I can be better."
You nodded, taking the risk and pushing your luck.
You and Joel could become friends, right?
"You and I... we could become friends, right?" you asked.
Joel’s eyes softened even more, and he smiled. "Friends sounds like a good start. We can build from there."
You felt a surge of relief. "Friends it is, then."
The days passed, each one bringing closeness between you and Joel. He had got better, slowly starting to get back to his tasks. The community noticed the change in him, how he was more open and approachable. You often found yourselves working together, whether it was on supply runs or him visiting the infirmary when you were there working.
One afternoon, you were busy organizing medical supplies when Joel walked in, a smile spreading across his face as he saw you. "Hey, need any help in here?" he asked, leaning against the doorframe.
You looked up, smiling back. "Joel, what are you doing here? I thought you were out patrolling.”
Joel shrugged, stepping further into the room. "Finished early. Thought I’d come by and see if you needed a hand."
He, in fact lied. He switched places with another guy just to spend time with you again. He could feel your fear irradiating but he wanted to get to know you better. He couldn’t wrap his mind around the fact he didn’t like someone like you and he wanted to change that.
You chuckled, shaking your head. " Sure, you can help me with these supplies. There are some boxes that need to be sorted."
Joel rolled up his sleeves and joined you, his presence filling the small room with a comforting warmth. As you worked side by side, you found yourself stealing glances at him, marveling at the changes in him. He was more relaxed, more open, and undeniably more attentive.
"You know," Joel said after a while, breaking the comfortable silence, "I think I like helping out here more than patrolling."
You raised an eyebrow, teasingly. "Oh? And why is that?"
Joel grinned, his eyes twinkling with mischief. "Because I get to spend more time with you."
You blushed, focusing intently on the box in front of you. "You’re just saying that."
"No, I mean it," Joel replied, his tone sincere. "I like being around you. You make everything better."
You felt a warmth spread through you at his words, and you couldn't help but smile. "Well, I like having you around too."
The truth was that stealing glances at him now felt like interlocking fingers without even touching his skin, there wasn’t precisely a sexual tension or possessiveness over him, but a warm incandescent glow within every time he smiled at you. That was something you hadn’t felt in so long, and this time felt so right yet so wrong.
You both continued to work in comfortable silence, the rhythm of your tasks interrupted only by the occasional exchange of smiles or a shared joke. The closeness was undeniable, and you could feel the lines between friendship and something more starting to blur.
One afternoon, you were out on a supply run together, scanning the area for anything useful. The sun was setting, casting a golden hue over the landscape. As you bent down to pick up some supplies, Joel suddenly appeared by your side, his proximity making your heart race.
"Need a hand?" he asked, his voice low and warm.
You looked up at him, finding it hard to concentrate with him so close. "Sure, thanks."
As you both worked, the conversation flowed easily. Joel's presence was comforting, and you found yourself opening up to him in ways you hadn't before.
"You know, I never really thanked you properly," Joel said, his tone serious.
"For what?" you asked, genuinely curious.
"For saving my life. For being there for me when I needed it the most," Joel replied, his eyes meeting yours with a sincerity that made your heart ache.
You shook your head, a soft smile on your lips. "You don’t need to thank me, Joel. I did what anyone would do."
"Not anyone," he insisted, his gaze intense. "You went above and beyond. You always do."
You blushed, the warmth spreading through you once again. "Well, I care about you. I can’t help it."
Joel's expression softened, and he reached out, gently brushing a strand of hair behind your ear. "I care about you too. More than I ever thought possible."
The moment hung in the air, filled with unspoken words and emotions. You could feel the pull between you, the undeniable connection that had grown stronger with each passing day.
"Joel, this is complicated," you whispered, your voice trembling slightly. "We need to take things slow."
"I know," he replied, his hand lingering near your face. "But I’m not going anywhere, but I’m not going anywhere.”
Joel's feelings for you had grown stronger. He found himself being smitten and completely in love by you, by your beauty, your strength and your soft heart. You were everything that was good with this world. Where everything and everyone was people with shadows dying out of melancholy, you were an angel wrapping your warm arms around him, making his world brighter. He had learnt how to savor the colors again.
As you continued your days together, Joel couldn't help but find ways to be close to you. He would always volunteer to accompany you on supply runs, ensuring you were safe and cared for. He would show up at the infirmary with small gifts – a flower he found on his patrol, a cup of your favorite tea, or a book he thought you might like. His gestures were always thoughtful and sincere, each one a testament to the depth of his feelings.
Joel couldn't take his eyes off you. You were kneeling in the ground, your hands deftly cleaning something you had found, your face serene and focused. Joel felt a swell of emotion, unable to keep it to himself any longer.
"You know," he began, his voice gentle, "I used to think this world had nothing left to offer. But then I met you."
You looked up, your heart skipping a beat at the intensity in his gaze. "Joel..."
He knelt beside you, his hand covering yours. "You make everything better. You've brought light into my life, and I can't imagine going back to the way things were."
You felt a mixture of warmth and apprehension. His words were everything you wanted to hear, yet the uncertainty of the situation weighed heavily on your heart. "Joel, this is all so new and complicated. We need to be careful."
Joel's grip on your hand tightened slightly, his eyes full of determination. "I know it's complicated, and I know we've got a lot to figure out. But I can't ignore what I feel. I want to be here for you, with you, through everything."
You took a deep breath, feeling the weight of his words. "I want that too, Joel. But we need to take it one step at a time."
He nodded, a soft smile spreading across his face. "I will make you fall in love with me," he said, his voice full of determination and warmth.
You couldn't help but smile back, feeling a mix of hope and apprehension. "You're quite confident, aren't you?"
Joel chuckled, his eyes never leaving yours. "When it comes to you, I am."
You smiled, feeling a flutter in your chest at his words. "Let's get back to Jackson," you said, standing up and brushing off your clothes. Joel stood with you, offering a hand to help you up.
As you made your way back to Jackson, the conversation flowed easily. Joel told you stories from before the outbreak, sharing pieces of his past he hadn’t opened up about before. You found yourself laughing at his anecdotes, feeling a growing sense of connection.
When you finally reached the gates of Jackson, the sun was setting, casting a warm glow over the community. People greeted you both warmly, noticing the change in Joel's demeanor. He was more relaxed and more present, and it was clear to everyone that you had a positive influence on him.
Tommy approached, a knowing smile on his face. "Good to see you both back safe and sound."
Joel clapped his brother on the shoulder. "It was a good run. Found some useful supplies."
Tommy nodded, then looked at you. "And how about you? Everything alright?"
You smiled, feeling the warmth of Joel’s gaze on you on your face. "Yeah, everything's good."
As the evening settled in, you and Joel made your way to the communal dining hall. The chatter of the community filled the air, and you found a spot to sit together. Joel’s hand lingered near yours, his touch reassuring and steady.
Tommy, Ellie, and Maria soon joined you at the table. Tommy was carrying a tray laden with food, Ellie trailing behind him with a mischievous grin, and Maria gave you a warm smile as she took a seat.
"Good to see you two back," Elli said, setting down the tray and passing out plates. “How was the run?" Ellie asked, her eyes sparkling with curiosity.
"It went well," Joel replied, his gaze briefly meeting yours before he continued. "Found some useful supplies and had some good company."
Ellie smirked, elbowing Tommy. "I bet you did."
You blushed, focusing on your plate as you filled it with food. Maria, ever perceptive, glanced between you and Joel with a knowing smile. "It's good to see everyone together," she said, her tone light and warm.
As you all began to eat, the conversation flowed naturally. Tommy and Maria talked about the latest updates in the community, Ellie shared stories from her day, and Joel occasionally chimed in with his dry humor, making everyone laugh.
At one point, Ellie leaned over to you, her voice low enough so only you could hear. "Joel's been different lately. In a good way. You've been good for him."
You looked at her, surprised by her observation. "I hope so. It's been... a journey."
Ellie nodded, her expression sincere. "Just keep being you. That's all he needs."
The meal continued, filled with warmth and laughter. Joel's hand occasionally brushed against yours, sending electricity down your body.
Just as you were starting to relax, a woman approached the table, her presence causing a ripple of unease. It was Lori, one of the women Joel used to date. Joel visibly tensed, his gaze dropping to his plate as Lori stopped beside him, her smile a mix of surprise and something else you couldn't quite place.
“Joel," she said, her voice smooth and confident. "I didn't expect to see you here."
Joel looked up, a flicker of recognition in his eyes. "Lori. Uh, hi."
Lori glanced around the table, her eyes settling on you for a moment before she looked back at Joel. "I was just passing by and saw you all together. Mind if I join?"
Before anyone could respond, Tommy jumped in. "Sure, why not? There's always room for one more."
Lori pulled up a chair and sat down, her presence adding a layer of tension to the dynamics. Joel seemed uncomfortable; his usual confidence was replaced by nervous energy.
"So, Joel," Lori began, her tone light but probing. "How have you been? It's been a while."
Joel cleared his throat, glancing at you briefly before answering. "Yeah, it has. I've been... good. Just busy with everything here."
Lori nodded, her gaze shifting between you and Joel. "I can see that. Looks like you've made some new friends." She said, bitterly, “The last time I knew from you was when you left my house after our night, and then you hit your head and never spoke to me again.”
The table fell silent, tension crackling in the air. Joel looked uncomfortable, his gaze dropping to his plate. You could see the guilt and confusion in his eyes as he tried to process Lori's words.
"I'm sorry, Lori," Joel finally said, his voice low. "I don't remember much from before the accident. It's been... complicated."
Lori's expression softened slightly, but the hurt in her eyes remained. "I get that. But it still stings, you know? You just disappeared."
You felt a pang of empathy for Lori but also a fierce protectiveness over Joel. "It's been hard for him,” you said gently, trying to ease the tension. "Joel's been working hard to piece things together. He's different now, and we're all just trying to move forward."
Lori glanced at you, her expression unreadable. "I can see that, but it seems like you had taken advantage of the situation; he couldn’t stand your ass before his accident, and suddenly you have him like a little puppy following you everywhere.”
Your heart drops to your stomach, feeling warm spreading to your cheeks.
Joel's jaw tightened, and he quickly interjected, his voice firm. "That's enough, Lori. You don't know what you're talking about."
Lori raised an eyebrow, crossing her arms. "I just find it convenient, that's all."
Tommy leaned forward, his tone calm but authoritative. "Lori, we're all trying to move forward here. It's not fair to make accusations."
Ellie, always quick to defend those she cared about, added, "You weren't here to see what she did for Joel. She saved his life and has been helping him every step of the way."
Lori's gaze softened slightly, but the tension remained. "I'm sorry if I overstepped. I just needed to understand."
Maria nodded, her voice gentle. "We all get that, Lori. It's been a tough situation for everyone."
You took a deep breath, trying to steady your emotions. "It's okay. "You took a deep breath before continuing. “I’ll take some fresh air,” you said, standing up, not even looking down at Joel, who seemed sad at your whole dementor.
You took a deep breath, trying to steady your emotions. "It's okay. I—" you paused, feeling the weight of the conversation pressing down on you. "I’ll take some fresh air," you said, standing up abruptly. Avoiding eye contact with Joel, who looked sad and concerned, you made your way outside.
The cool evening air was a welcome relief, and you walked a little way from the dining hall, finding a quiet spot to gather your thoughts. You leaned against a tree, closing your eyes and taking deep, calming breaths.
After a few moments, you heard footsteps approaching. You opened your eyes to see Ellie standing there, her expression filled with concern. "Hey, you okay?"
You nodded, managing a small smile. "Yeah, I just needed a moment. That was a bit embarrassing."
Ellie walked over and leaned against the wall next to you. "Lori was out of line. You've been amazing with Joel. Anyone with eyes can see that."
“So, don’t you think I’ve been taking advantage of him?” You asked, really concerned.
“What are you talking about? He is the one completely enamored by you.” She replied, laughing.
Ellie laughed, shaking her head. "What are you talking about? He is the one completely enamored by you."
You sighed, leaning back against the wall. "I know, but sometimes it feels like I’m walking on eggshells. It feels like he is going to wake up from his trance and he will hate me again."
Ellie placed a comforting hand on your shoulder. "Listen, I've seen the way he looks at you. He’s happier, lighter. You’ve brought out a side of him I didn’t think existed. And trust me, if he didn’t want this, he’d make it clear."
You took a deep breath.
“What’s the worst that could happen?” Ellie asked.
“Me, falling in love with him,” you answer.
“What’s the worst that could happen?” Ellie asked, her tone light but sincere.
You sighed, the weight of your fears pressing down. “Me, falling in love with him,” you answered quietly.
Ellie gave you a sympathetic look. "And why is that so bad?"
"Because," you began, struggling to put your feelings into words, "what if his memories come back and he realizes he doesn’t feel the same way? Or worse, what if I fall in love with him and he changes back to the old Joel, the one who couldn’t stand me?"
Ellie nodded, understanding. "That's a risk, sure. But you can't let fear keep you from living. You've been through so much together, and it's clear he cares about you deeply now. Maybe that won't change."
You bit your lip, the turmoil inside you reflected in your eyes. "I just don't want to get hurt, Ellie. And I don’t want to hurt him either."
Ellie squeezed your shoulder. "I get it. But if you keep holding back, you'll never know what could be. Sometimes, you just have to take a leap of faith."
You let out a shaky breath, nodding. "Maybe you're right."
Ellie grinned. "Of course I'm right. Now, let's get back in there. Joel's probably worrying himself sick."
You smiled, feeling a bit more at ease. "Okay, let's go."
As you walked back into the dining hall, you found Joel still sitting at the table, his eyes lighting up when he saw your return. He stood up as you approached, his concern evident.
"You okay?" he asked softly.
You nodded, giving him a reassuring smile. "Yeah, I'm fine. Just needed a breather."
Joel looked relieved, and he gently took your hand. "I'm glad you're back."
The evening continued with easy conversation, and as you all eventually made your way out of the dining hall, Joel walked beside you, his presence a comforting constant.
"Thanks for dinner," he said softly as you approached your door.
"Anytime," you replied, feeling a warmth in your chest at his words. "It was nice, being with everyone."
Joel nodded, his eyes lingering on you. "It was. And I meant what I said today. I’ll make you fall in love with me.”
You chuckled softly, feeling a mix of nerves and excitement at his words. "You're really set on that, aren't you?"
Joel nodded, his expression serious but with a hint of a smile that made you go crazy. "I am. Because I know what I feel now, and I’m not going to let it slip away."
You looked into his eyes, seeing the sincerity there. "Joel, this is new for both of us. We need to take it one step at a time."
He took a step closer, his hand gently brushing against yours. “Am I that unlovable?”
You blinked, taken aback by his question. "What? No, Joel, you're not unlovable at all. It's just... complicated."
Joel's eyes softened, and he took your hand in his, his thumb gently brushing over your knuckles. "I get that. But I need you to know that I’m not going anywhere. I’ll wait as long as it takes."
You felt a warmth spread through you at his words. "I appreciate that, Joel. And I do care about you. A lot. It's just..."
"Scary?" he finished for you, his voice gentle.
You nodded.
Joel's expression turned thoughtful, and he nodded slowly. "Yeah, I get it. It is scary. But sometimes, the best things come from taking a leap of faith."
You took a deep breath, feeling the weight of his words. "It’s not just about taking a leap. It’s about making sure we’re ready for whatever comes next."
Joel squeezed your hand gently, his eyes never leaving yours. "I understand. And I'm ready to take it slow to give you the space you need. Just know that I’m here for you, and I’m not giving up on us."
You felt a mix of relief and trepidation, but Joel's unwavering support gave you strength. "Thank you, Joel. That means a lot to me."
He leaned in, resting his forehead against yours for a moment, his breath warm against your skin. "We’ll figure it out, one step at a time."
You nodded, closing your eyes for a brief second, allowing yourself to savor the closeness and the promise of what might come. When you opened your eyes again, you saw Joel’s smile—a smile that made you believe in the possibility of a new beginning.
"Goodnight," he whispered, his voice tender, holding back the desire to cupp your face and kiss you.
"Goodnight, Joel," you replied, your heart fluttering, feeling the same as him.
Now standing, this close, face to face, skins touching. One of you would give in before, and once that happened, there was no going to be a way to stop two hearts beating this fast.
Joel's eyes locked onto yours, the intensity of his gaze revealing the depth of his emotions. You could see the conflict within him, the longing that mirrored your own. His hand lingered near your face, his fingers almost brushing against your skin, his breath warm and steady.
The moment felt suspended in time, the air between you charged with unspoken words and electric anticipation. You both stood there, so close that you could feel the heat radiating from each other, your hearts racing in sync.
Joel’s voice was barely above a whisper. “I don’t want to push you, but I also don’t want to pretend like I don’t feel this.”
You swallowed, your own voice trembling slightly. “I feel it too, Joel. But we need to be careful.”
Joel nodded, his expression a mix of desire and restraint. “I know. And I want to respect that. I just...” He hesitated, taking a deep breath as if trying to steady himself. “I don’t want to miss this chance with you. I’ve never felt this way before.”
Joel’s gaze flickered between your eyes and your lips, the desire and uncertainty evident in his expression. His hand gently cupped your face. His touch was tender, as if he were afraid to break the spell that bound you both.
You felt your heart race, every nerve ending alive with anticipation. Joel’s fingers brushed softly against your cheek, and you could see the struggle in his eyes as he fought to keep his emotions in check. His breath grew shallower, and his eyes closed for a brief moment, savoring the closeness.
Slowly, he leaned in, his lips brushing against yours in a soft, tentative kiss. It was gentle at first, a whisper of warmth and affection that sent a shiver down your spine. The moment felt both exhilarating and comforting, the culmination of all the unspoken words and feelings that had been building between you.
You responded instinctively, your lips moving softly against his. The kiss deepened gradually, a sweet exploration of new and uncharted territory. His hands moved to frame your face, his touch firm yet gentle, as if he were cherishing every second of this newfound closeness.
When you finally pulled away, both of you were breathless, your eyes locking in a moment of shared understanding. The kiss had been more than just a physical connection; it was a promise of something more, something that neither of you fully understood yet but were both eager to explore.
Joel’s smile was tender and full of warmth. “I’ve wanted to do that since I woke up that day at the infirmary,” he admitted softly, his eyes searching yours for any sign of hesitation.
You felt a blush rise to your cheeks at his confession. His words made your heart flutter even more, and you could see the sincerity in his eyes.
"I'm glad you did," you said softly, your voice barely above a whisper. "I've been feeling the same way."
Joel's smile widened, and he gently stroked your cheek with his thumb. "I didn’t want to rush things or push you. But now... now that we’ve shared this, I hope we can figure things out together."
You nodded, feeling a surge of hope and warmth. "I think we can. I want to see where this leads."
He took a deep breath, his gaze never leaving yours. "No pressure, just... being here with you."
You smiled, feeling a sense of calm and excitement. "I would like that.”
Joel nodded; his expression full of affection. "Good. Now, how about we get some rest? Tomorrow's a new day, and I want to spend it with you."
You felt a burst of warmth at his words and, inspired by the new closeness between you, you hesitated for just a moment before speaking up. “How about we go inside for a bit? I’ve got some tea. It might be nice to relax and talk more.”
Joel’s eyes lit up at the invitation, and he nodded with a smile. “That sounds perfect.”
You led the way to your house, the familiar surroundings now feeling different with Joel by your side. Once inside, you made your way to the kitchen and began preparing the tea. Joel watched you with an easy smile, clearly content.
As you waited for the water to boil, you and Joel chatted about lighter topics—how his recovery was going, plans for the community, and small anecdotes from your days. The conversation flowed easily, and the atmosphere between you was comfortable and warm.
When the tea was ready, you poured two cups and handed one to Joel. He took it with a grateful smile, his fingers brushing against yours. You both settled into a cozy corner of your living room, the soft light of a lamp casting a gentle glow around the room.
Joel sipped his tea, his gaze occasionally meeting yours. “This is nice,” he said softly. “Thank you for inviting me.”
Joel looked around your living room, the peaceful ambiance a stark contrast to the harsh world outside. He took another sip of his tea, then turned his gaze back to you. “You know, before all this, I had a pretty normal life. A family, a daughter named Sarah. She was... everything to me.”
His voice carried a tinge of sadness, and you could see the pain in his eyes. You nodded, sensing the weight of his memories. “I’m sorry, Joel. I can’t even imagine.”
Joel’s expression was somber but grateful. “Thanks. She was everything. When the outbreak happened, she... she didn’t make it. It’s been hard, you know? Trying to keep going and make sense of it all.”
You felt a pang of sympathy for him, knowing how devastating such a loss could be. “I understand. I lost my fiancé in a storm during the outbreak. We were caught outside, and he was... gone before I could do anything.”
Joel’s eyes softened with empathy. “That’s so tough. I’m really sorry you went through that.”
You took a deep breath, feeling the weight of your own memories. “It was the storm that made me afraid of them. Every time the weather changes, it reminds me of that day. I try not to let it control me, but sometimes, it’s hard.”
Joel reached out, placing his hand gently on yours. “I’m sorry you’ve had to deal with that. It’s brave of you to face it every day.”
You looked at his hand on yours, feeling a comforting warmth from his touch. “It’s been a struggle, but having people like you around makes it a little easier.”
Joel nodded, his gaze steady. “We all have our battles. But we’ve found ways to keep moving forward. And maybe together, we can make those battles a little less daunting.”
+++++
The days turned into weeks, and your relationship with Joel grew stronger. The bond you shared was evident in the way you looked at each other and the ease with which you interacted. People in Jackson had noticed the change in both of you, and there was a sense of warmth and contentment surrounding your partnership.
One afternoon, as you were working in the infirmary, organizing supplies and checking on patients, Joel walked in. He had that familiar, easy smile on his face, and his presence was a comforting one amidst the hectic pace of the medical work.
“Hey,” he said, leaning against the doorway. “Thought I’d stop by and see how you’re doing.”
You looked up, your face lighting up at the sight of him. “Hey, Joel. Just busy as usual. How’s everything on the patrol?”
Joel shrugged, walking over to where you were working. “Not too bad. But I figured I’d come by and keep you company. I know you’ve been spending a lot of time here.”
You nodded, your smile softening. “Yeah, I’ve been needed here more often lately. But it’s good to see you.”
Joel moved closer, his hand reaching out to gently touch your arm. “I’ve missed you. It’s different when you’re not around.”
You felt a surge of affection at his words. “I’ve missed you too. But this is important. People need help, and I want to make sure I’m here for them.”
Joel nodded, understanding in his eyes. “I get it. Just remember to take care of yourself too. I’d hate to see you running on empty.”
You chuckled, appreciating his concern. “I’ll try. But having you here now brought a smile to my face.”
He smiled, his gaze lingering on you. “Well, I’m glad to be here. Can I help with anything?”
You thought for a moment, then nodded. “Actually, if you could help me restock some of these supplies, that would be great.”
Joel moved closer, his hand gently brushing against yours as he began helping with the supplies. The shared task created a comfortable silence between you, with only the soft sounds of organizing supplies filling the space.
As you worked side by side, Joel’s gaze lingered on you with an intensity that made your heart race. Without warning, he leaned in, his lips brushing softly against yours in a tender, affectionate kiss. The kiss was a sweet proof the connection you shared, and you responded with equal tenderness, savoring the closeness.
Just as the kiss deepened, the door to the infirmary swung open, and Dr. Ramirez walked in. Her eyes widened slightly at the sight of you and Joel but quickly masked her surprise with a professional smile.
“Sorry to interrupt,” she said, her tone warm but slightly teasing. “I came to check on things and see if you needed any help.”
You and Joel pulled away; a bit flustered but smiling nonetheless. “We were just finishing up,” you said, trying to sound casual. “Everything’s in order.”
Dr. Ramirez nodded, her gaze flicking between you and Joel with a knowing look. “Alright, if you need anything, just let me know.”
As she moved to her office, you glanced at Joel, your cheeks still slightly flushed. “Well, that was embarrassing.”
Joel chuckled, his hand still resting lightly on yours. “Yeah, but I guess it’s a good thing everyone know you’re my girl.”
You looked up at Joel, a smile tugging at the corners of your lips. "I suppose it is. It’s nice to be able to be open about us."
Joel’s expression softened; his gaze warm. “It is. And I’m glad we don’t have to hide anymore.”
You squeezed his hand gently, feeling a sense of contentment. “Me too. It makes everything feel more real, more... solid.”
Joel nodded, his eyes never leaving yours. “Do you want to have dinner at my place?” he asked.
You looked up at Joel, a smile spreading across your face at the thought of spending more time together. “Dinner at your place sounds wonderful. I’d love that.”
Joel’s face lit up with a warm smile. “Great. I’ll make sure to have something good ready for us.”
You both made your way to Joel’s place, the evening air cool and crisp. The walk was filled with easy conversation and shared laughter, a comforting routine that had become a cherished part of your days.
When you arrived at Joel’s house, he opened the door and gestured for you to enter. The interior was cozy, with soft lighting and a welcoming atmosphere. He led you to the kitchen, where a simple but inviting dinner was laid out on the table.
Joel’s cooking was surprisingly good, and as you enjoyed the meal together, the conversation flowed effortlessly. You talked about everything and nothing—your favorite memories, plans for the future, and the little things that made you both laugh.
After dinner, you moved to the living room, where Joel had set up a comfortable spot with blankets and pillows. You both settled in, the atmosphere relaxed and intimate.
Joel looked at you with a soft smile. “I’m really glad you’re here.”
You snuggled closer to him, feeling a deep sense of contentment. “Me too. Tonight has been perfect.”
He wrapped his arm around you, his touch warm and reassuring. “Here’s to many more nights like this.”
You smiled, resting your head on his shoulder. “I’d like that.”
As the evening wore on, you both talked about your past experiences and shared stories from before the outbreak. Joel spoke about his life before everything changed—his family, the dreams he had, and the struggles he faced. You shared your own experiences, including the loss of your fiancé and the challenges of adapting to this new world alone.
Joel listened intently, his hand occasionally brushing against yours as if to reassure you. “It’s amazing how much we’ve both been through,” he said softly. “And yet, here we are.”
You nodded, feeling a deep connection. “Yeah. It feels like we’re building something meaningful despite everything.”
After some time, you both decided it was time to call it a night. You stood up, stretching slightly as you gathered your things. Joel walked with you to the door, his presence a comforting constant.
As you reached the door, Joel hesitated for a moment, then gently grabbed your wrist, stopping you from leaving. He looked at you with a mix of hesitation and hope in his eyes. “I was wondering… would you like to spend the night here? It’s been nice having you around, and I’d love to have you stay.”
You looked at him, surprised but touched by the invitation. The warmth in his eyes and the sincerity of his voice made it hard to resist.
“I’d like that,” you said softly, a smile spreading across your face.
Joel’s expression brightened, and he pulled you into a gentle hug. “Great. Let’s get you settled in.”
Joel led you to his bedroom, a space that felt both lived-in and welcoming. The room was simple but comfortable, with a bed covered in worn but clean linens and a few personal touches that spoke to Joel’s character—photos of his family, a well-loved guitar leaning against the wall, and a small stack of books on the bedside table.
He gestured to the bed with a slightly sheepish grin. “Sorry, it’s not much, but it’s home.”
You smiled, feeling a sense of warmth and acceptance. “It’s perfect.”
Joel nodded, his expression softening. ��I’m glad you think so.”
You both prepared for bed in comfortable silence, the familiarity of the routine helping to ease any lingering tension. Joel showed you where you could find anything you might need—extra blankets, a lamp for reading, and a small cabinet for any personal items you might want to keep nearby.
As you both settled into the bed, Joel turned off the lights, leaving only a soft glow from a nightlight on the dresser. He slipped under the covers, and you followed suit, the warmth and comfort of the bed providing a welcome respite from the day’s events.
Joel turned toward you, his eyes meeting yours in the dim light. “I’m really glad you’re here,” he said softly, his voice tender.
You smiled, feeling a sense of peace as you settled closer to him. “Me too. It feels right.”
He reached out and gently took your hand, interlocking your fingers. The simple gesture was filled with meaning, and you could feel the connection between you growing stronger.
“Goodnight,” Joel whispered, his voice carrying a note of affection.
“Goodnight,” you replied, your heart fluttering with contentment.
A few days later, you and Ellie were seated at a table in the bustling dining hall, enjoying a well-deserved lunch. The room was filled with the murmur of conversations and the clinking of utensils, creating a comforting background noise.
Ellie, always full of energy, was animatedly talking about a new comic she’d found. “You won’t believe this,” she said, leaning in with a conspiratorial grin, “but this one hero has the power to control weather. I’m telling you, if I had that power, I’d totally make it sunny all the time.”
You laughed, shaking your head. “Sounds like you’ve been reading too many comics. But I suppose a bit of sunshine wouldn’t hurt.”
Ellie grinned, grabbing a bite of her sandwich. “True, true. But, seriously, how are things going with Joel? You two seem... really happy.”
You smiled, feeling a warm flush at her question. “We are. It’s been nice, spending time together. He’s been really supportive, and I think we’re figuring things out.”
Ellie’s eyes lit up, clearly pleased with your answer. “I’m glad to hear that. He’s been a lot happier since you two started spending more time together. It’s like he’s found a new spark.”
You nodded, feeling a sense of contentment. “It’s been good for both of us. We’re still taking things one step at a time, but it feels right.”
Ellie’s expression turned thoughtful. “I know it’s been rough with everything that’s happened, but it’s nice to see people finding happiness again. Especially you and Joel.”
You appreciated Ellie’s support and her ability to lighten the mood. “Thanks, Ellie. That means a lot.”
Ellie glanced around the dining hall, then back at you with a mischievous grin. “So, are you guys planning any big adventures together? Or just sticking to the small stuff for now?”
You laughed softly. “We’re sticking to the small stuff for now. Just enjoying the moments, we have together.” You paused, “I’m still a little bit scared of him waking up hating me again.”
Ellie’s eyes softened with understanding. “I get that. It’s natural to be scared after everything you’ve both been through. But you’re doing great, and Joel is different now. He’s not going to just wake up one day and hate you.”
You sighed, a mixture of relief and lingering concern in your expression. “I hope you’re right. Sometimes, it’s hard to shake that fear, especially after everything that’s happened.”
Ellie nodded thoughtfully. “I think you both just need to keep talking and being honest with each other. The more you communicate, the more you’ll build that trust. And remember, it’s okay to have those fears. It just means you care.”
You managed a small smile. “Thanks, Ellie. It’s reassuring to hear that.”
Ellie grinned and took a bite of her lunch. “Anytime. And if you ever need someone to talk to or just need a distraction, you know I’m here. We can have a comic marathon or something.”
You laughed, feeling the warmth of Ellie’s support. “That sounds like a plan. I’ll definitely take you up on that.”
As you and Ellie finished your lunch, you stood up to clear your plates, the conversation easing into a comfortable silence. Just as you were about to head to the serving area, you suddenly felt two strong arms wrap around your middle, pulling you into a warm embrace. A soft, affectionate kiss was placed on your cheek, making you feel a surge of happiness and surprise.
You turned your head slightly, finding Joel’s smiling face close to yours. “Hey there,” he said, his voice full of warmth and affection. “I didn’t mean to interrupt, just wanted to steal a moment with you.”
Ellie watched with a grin, clearly pleased with the sight. “Looks like someone’s got a fan club.”
You blushed slightly, leaning into Joel’s embrace. “Hi, Joel. I was just catching up with Ellie.”
Joel’s gaze softened as he looked at you, his hand gently resting on your side. “I figured I’d come and see how you were doing. Plus, I wanted to see if you’d be up for a walk later.”
You smiled, feeling content in his arms. “A walk sounds nice. I’d love that.”
Joel nodded, his eyes twinkling with excitement. “Great. Let’s finish up here and head out.”
You and Joel exchanged a tender glance before you both started to clear your plates. Ellie gave you both a playful nudge. “I’ll leave you two to your walk. Enjoy, and remember, I’m always here if you need me.”
+++++++++++++
“So?” you asked, as Joel was smiling in complete silence.
“So what?” he asked without erasing that smile from his face.
“Aren’t you going to talk?”
Joel chuckled, his smile widening. “I guess I’m just enjoying the moment. It’s not every day I get to be this content.”
You raised an eyebrow, playfully nudging him. “Oh really? And why’s that?”
He looked at you, his gaze tender. “Because being with you like this, just walking and talking, it’s exactly what I’ve wanted. It’s simple and perfect.”
You smiled, feeling a warm glow from his words. “Well, I’m glad you’re enjoying it. So, what’s on your mind?”
Joel glanced around, taking in the scenery before meeting your eyes again. “I was thinking about how nice would be if you go to my place tonight. Ellie’s gonna spend the night with Dina and I want to spend the night with you.”
“That sounds wonderful,” you said with a smile. “I’d love to spend the night with you.”
Joel’s face lit up with a genuine smile, and he took your hand, gently squeezing it. “Great. I was hoping you’d say that.” He leaned and kiss you on the lips, “No I gotta go helping Tommy, see you later, sunshine”
You pouted, grabbing his hand before he could go anywhere “Wait? That was all?”
Joel chuckled softly, his eyes crinkling at the corners. “I thought I’d surprise you with the invitation, and I wanted to make sure you knew how much I enjoy spending time with you.”
You raised an eyebrow, playfully teasing. “Well, I didn’t realize the evening was just an invitation and a kiss goodbye.”
Joel grinned, clearly amused. “Alright, alright. If you want more, I guess I’ll have to come up with something better.” He pulled you into another kiss, this one longer and more lingering.
You smiled against his lips as you pulled away. “That’s more like it. But seriously, I was looking forward to spending time with you.”
Joel’s gaze softened, and he cupped your face gently. “I’m looking forward to it too. Just had to help Tommy out with something. I promise, I’ll make up for it.”
You nodded, still holding onto his hand. “I’ll hold you to that. See you later, Joel.”
He gave you one last smile before heading out, leaving you with a warm feeling and the anticipation of the evening ahead.
+++++++++++++
When you arrived at Joel's place, the sun had just dipped below the horizon, casting a warm, golden glow across the surroundings. Joel greeted you at the door with a welcoming smile and a quick, affectionate kiss.
"Hey, glad you could make it," he said, taking your coat and hanging it up. "I’ve got a few things planned, but we can start with something simple if you’d like."
You stepped inside, feeling the comforting familiarity of Joel’s home. “I’m sure whatever you’ve got planned will be perfect,” you replied, smiling at him.
Joel led you into the living room, where he’d set up a cozy area with blankets and cushions. The room was softly lit by lamps, and the atmosphere was inviting and warm. A few candles were flickering on the coffee table, casting a gentle glow.
“I figured we could start with some dinner and then maybe just talk or something else” Joel suggested, his eyes reflecting the soft light.
You nodded, feeling content with the simple but thoughtful setup. “That sounds great.”
Joel moved to the kitchen and returned shortly with a plate of homemade food—something comforting and hearty. He set it down on the table, then joined you on the couch.
As you both ate, the conversation flowed easily, just like it had during your earlier moments together. You talked about your days, your plans, and even some light-hearted topics. Joel’s presence was reassuring, and you felt completely at ease.
After dinner, Joel suggested putting on some music. He rummaged through his collection, finally settling on a classic that he thought you’d enjoy. You both snuggled up under the blankets, the music playing softly in the background.
Joel occasionally glanced at you, his hand resting casually on your knee. The song played, but most of your attention was focused on the comfort of being next to him, the warmth of his touch, and the quiet contentment that filled the room.
Joel turned to you, his gaze tender. “You know, I’m really glad we’re doing this. Just being here with you, it feels right.”
You smiled, leaning into him. “I feel the same way.”
Joel’s hand moved to gently brush your hair back from your face. “What’s your biggest fear?” he asked out of the blue?
You sighed, leaving his gaze for a moment “You waking up and forgetting you love me”
Joel’s brow furrowed slightly at your answer, a mix of concern and curiosity in his eyes. “Why would you think that? I don’t see any reason why that would happen.”
You took a deep breath, feeling vulnerable as you shared your fear. “It’s just….you knew I told you we didn’t get along before, in fact you hated me, Joel.”
Joel’s eyes softened as he listened to your concern. He took a moment before responding, his voice steady and reassuring. “I know things weren’t easy between us before. And yeah, I didn’t handle things the best way back then. But that’s in the past. What matters now is how we are right now.”
He reached out and gently took your hand in his. “The truth is, I’ve changed. And I see you differently now. I see you for who you are, and I realize how much you mean to me. Whatever those old feelings were? They’re gone. What we have now is real, and I’m committed to it.”
You looked into his eyes, searching for the truth in his words. “But what if one day you wake up and those old feelings come back? What if something changes?”
Joel shook his head, his gaze intense and full of conviction. “I don’t believe that’ll happen. I’ve come to understand how much you mean to me, and how deeply I care about you.”
He squeezed your hand gently, his expression earnest. “I’m not going to let those fears control us. We’re building something strong, and I want to keep building it with you. I’m here, and I’m committed to making sure we have a future together.”
You felt a wave of relief and warmth at his words. “Thank you, Joel. That really means a lot to me.”
Joel smiled softly, leaning in to kiss your forehead. “I’m glad. And if you ever need reassurance, just ask. I’m always here to remind you of how much you mean to me.”
You nestled closer to him, feeling a deep sense of comfort and closeness. The fears that had been troubling you began to fade as you focused on the warmth of his embrace and the sincerity in his voice.
Joel’s gaze lingered on yours, his eyes filled with a mix of tenderness and resolve. Slowly, he leaned in, his lips brushing softly against yours. The kiss was gentle at first, a careful exploration of newfound trust and affection.
As the kiss deepened, it became more passionate, conveying all the emotions and reassurances that words alone couldn’t fully capture. Joel’s hand cupped your face, his touch warm and reassuring as he pressed closer.
You responded to the kiss, your own hands moving to rest against his chest, feeling the steady rhythm of his heartbeat. The kiss felt like a promise, a shared understanding of where you both stood and where you hoped to go.
When you finally pulled away, both of you were breathless, your foreheads touching as you gazed into each other’s eyes. The room seemed to fade away, leaving just the two of you wrapped in this moment of closeness.
Joel’s smile was soft, his voice barely more than a whisper. “I needed to do that. To show you just how much you mean to me.”
You smiled back, your heart full. “I needed that too.”
Joel gently brushed a strand of hair from your face, his touch lingering.
After that, everything happened in a flash. Neither of you realized when you removed your clothes, but there was too much desperation in your touch; you wanted to discover how his fingers could leave a mark on you, tracing invisible lines across your body.
He kissed you again, slipping his tongue past your lips, gasping when he felt your fingers running your fingertips across his bare chest, tracing the lines of a map leading to where you couldn’t stop.
With one of your hands, you pulled him down by his neck to hold you against your lips again. Once you tasted them, you couldn’t get over the taste of them over yours, and you couldn’t get over the whimpers he left in your mouth.
He was hovering over you, giving you a passionate kiss. He was between your legs, exactly where you wanted him.
He pulled his lips away from yours for a moment to glance down at you. To appreciate the features of your face and the nature of your body to admire the features of your face, and the nature of your body being displayed just for him right now. You felt the crimson color rushing up to your checks and for a moment you felt embarrassed under his stare, but he smiled at you.
“You look beautiful”. He swallowed hard, stroking your cheek with his thumb.
His hands on your tights only increased the sparks in the place you wanted him the most, you wanted to follow the path even when you knew it was leading to a treacherous destination.
You continued kissing slowly as he caressed your thighs with his gently touch, as he wanted to worship your body and devour every single sound coming out from your mouth. He kissed you down over your neck, kissing, nipping your skin between his teeth.
And God, he loved the way you were making him feel. The fact this time was different to everything you had experiencing before. At this moment, you weren’t driving for only passionate reasons, but for caring feelings for each other. You weren’t in a rush and that turned him on. He was hard for you and he wanted to meet where religion was, between your thighs.
This time he was making love because he had drowned himself on your religion.
Both of you gasped aloud the moment he began to push slowly inside you. His hands reached for yours, interlocking them as he kissed you softly, muttering, "You're so beautiful like this". He was mesmerized by the way you were nervously giggling and cocking your head back in delight. He bit your neck, prompting your hands to move up to his neck, and his hands ran down your entire body without a layer of clothing on you, focusing on every thrust and diving deep to ensure he was making you happy.
You opened your eyes and stared back at him, entirely focused on you. You couldn't help but roll your eyes as his hands massaged your breasts while he continued to devour your lips. Your back arched, followed by a moan against his lips. Every thrust felt so fantastic, you couldn't help but think you were in the celestial realm You could tell you were getting closer as you squeezed him and kept your gaze fixed on each other. He pushed harder, one hand caressing your cheek and the other gripping your knee to guarantee you fell apart.
The noises you made drove him insane, as he felt himself reaching the edge of the cliff. He wanted to stare at you under him as you came and with a loud gasp, he did it at the same time falling over your exposed chest, your heartbeats mingling.
You moaned softly beneath him, and Joel raised his head to look at you, flashing him a cute smile he hadn't tired of, as you kissed him on the lips.
"I love you so much," he replied, gazing at you with admiration. “I’m so in love with you.”
I love you.
I’m so in love with you.
Those three words were echoing in the shadows of your mind. Your expression softened and you felt your blood rushing. You were sure they had had an impact on you.
“And I love you so much” you whispered back, your voice trembling slightly with the depth of your emotion.
Joel’s expression softened even further, and he brushed a tender kiss against your lips once more. The connection between you was undeniable, a blend of passion and deep affection that had grown stronger with each passing day.
You rested your head on his chest, feeling his heartbeat steady and strong beneath you. The world outside seemed distant and unimportant in the warmth of his embrace. For a moment, everything felt perfect, and you allowed yourself to fully embrace the love and happiness you had found with Joel.
Joel gently ran his fingers through your hair, his touch soothing. “We’ve come a long way, haven’t we?”
You nodded, your eyes closing as you savored the moment. “Yeah, we have. And I wouldn’t change a thing.”
Joel’s arms tightened around you, pulling you closer. “Neither would I. Here’s to more moments like this, and to whatever the future holds for us.”
You smiled, feeling a deep sense of contentment and anticipation for what was to come. “To us,” you agreed, your heart full of love and hope.
+++++++++++
The soft morning light filtered through the curtains, casting a gentle glow over the room. You stirred, waking up with a smile on your face. The previous night’s intimacy and love still lingered, and you turned to look at Joel. He was sleeping peacefully beside you, a contented expression on his face.
As you watched him, you felt a surge of happiness and affection. You reached out, gently brushing a strand of hair from his forehead, your heart full of love for him.
But as Joel’s eyes fluttered open and he met your gaze, his expression shifted dramatically. His sparkly brown eyes filled with love, widened in horror, and a look of confusion and fear crossed his face. He pushed himself up, scrambling back slightly.
“What...What the fuck are you doing here?” he asked, his voice trembling with a mix of shock and fear.
You were taken aback, your smile faltering as you tried to make sense of his reaction. “Joel, what’s wrong?”
No. It couldn’t be that, right?
Joel’s eyes were filled with a pained realization. “Oh my god, you came to my house trying to seduce me into sleeping with you?”
You felt a sharp pang of pain at his words, and your heart dropped. The warmth you had felt earlier was replaced by a cold, unsettling feeling.
“No, Joel, that’s not what happened,” you said, trying to keep your voice steady despite the hurt. “We’re in love”
He chuckled. “In love? Me in love with you? I could never” he said.
Your chest tightened, and the hurt in Joel’s words felt like a physical blow. You struggled to keep your composure, fighting back the tears that threatened to spill.
“Joel, you can’t mean that,” you said, your voice shaking. “Last night, you said you loved me. We shared something real.”
Joel’s expression was a mix of confusion and pain. “I don’t remember saying that. Last night I was with Lori”
That’s it. You were back at were you used to be.
The weight of Joel’s words hit you like a punch to the gut. You felt a mix of betrayal and heartache, as the realization sank in. The warmth and affection from the night before felt like a cruel illusion.
“So, what? You’re saying last night meant nothing?” you asked. The tears you had been holding back finally spilled over. “You really don’t remember? You don’t remember how we talked, how you told me you loved me?”
“I don’t love you.” He said, sternly.
“But I’m your sunshine” you sobbed.
Joel’s laughter pierced through you like a blade, and you could barely stand the weight of the realization. Each word he spoke seemed to tear away at the fabric of your heart, unraveling the dream you’d clung to so desperately.
The room felt colder, the air heavier, as you fought to control your sobs. Every touch, every shared moment that had once seemed so real was now reduced to nothing more than painful echoes of a memory that never truly existed.
He didn’t remember the stealing glances, the kisses, the touches and the promises than now seemed to fade with the cruel destiny meeting the ending meant to be.
You had taken a risk at falling in love with the version of a Joel who loved you back, and he didn’t exist anymore. He had faded just when he had told you he loved you.
He didn’t remember falling in love with you, he didn’t remember all the time you spent together, and he didn’t remember loving you, but you didn’t think this would hurt this much.
“Joel” you said, pleading him to remember.
“Out.” He said, gritting his teeth.
You stood there, the pain in your chest almost unbearable, as Joel's harsh words echoed around you. The warmth and affection you had shared just hours before now seemed like a cruel illusion, shattered by his denial.
"Joel, please," you said, your voice trembling. "Just think about everything we shared. It was real."
Joel’s eyes were hard, and he crossed his arms defensively. “I don't remember any of it. And I can't fake feelings I don't have.”
You felt a deep, profound sadness, the weight of his words making it almost impossible to breathe. The life you had envisioned, the love you had felt, seemed to slip away like sand through your fingers.
“Please, just—” you tried to reason with him, but the look in his eyes made it clear that any further pleading was futile.
Joel’s expression remained firm, a mix of regret and frustration. “Everything I know is that you took advantage of me.”
The sting of Joel's words cut deep, each one echoing the finality of a dream you had cherished. The accusation of taking advantage of him felt like a betrayal, intensifying the emotional agony you were already struggling with.
You took a shaky breath, trying to hold onto the fragments of your composure. "Joel, I never did that. We have something—"
Joel interrupted; his voice cold. "I don’t want to hear it. You need to leave. Now."
The finality in his tone left no room for argument. With a heart heavy with sorrow, you nodded, unable to find the words that might change his mind.
You were only on one of his shirts, trying to find your clothes.
You stumbled through the room, your movements disjointed as you searched for your clothes. The pain and confusion made every action feel like an immense effort. Joel’s gaze remained fixed on you, his face a mask of distant resolve.
You found your jeans, but it was crumpled and stained, and you struggled to put it on with trembling hands. The fabric felt rough against your skin, a stark contrast to the comfort you had felt just hours before. You glanced around for your other belongings, the room now feeling foreign and unwelcoming.
“I... I can’t find my blouse,” you said again, your voice a whisper filled with desperation and trembling.
Joel’s eyes flicked to you briefly before he spoke with a tone that brooked no argument. “Don’t worry about it. Just wear my shirt. I won’t wear it again.” His voice was cold and icy, not more softness as when they used to whisper things on your ear.
The coldness in his words made it clear that there was no room for negotiation or further conversation. You nodded numbly, the shirt you were already wearing now feeling like a heavy shroud setting your skin on fire.
As you finished dressing, you glanced around the room one last time, trying to memorize the space you were leaving behind. The sight of the room, so filled with the promise you fooled yourself onto believing.
There was an intensified the ache in your chest.
Joel stood by the door, his posture rigid as if he were bracing himself for something. His eyes didn’t meet yours, focusing instead on some distant point. The silence between you was heavy with the weight of the broken bond that never existed.
As you pulled on your shoes, your heart cracked completely sank in deeper. You looked up, meeting Joel’s eyes one last time.
“Joel, I’m sorry for everything,” you said softly, your voice barely above a whisper. “I never meant to cause any harm. I just wanted—”
Joel cut you off with a slight nod, his face still set in a hard expression. “Just go. Please.”
You swallowed hard, the lump in your throat almost making it impossible to speak. The intensity of Joel's gaze, filled with a mixture of pain and indifference, made it clear that any further words would be futile.
With one last, lingering look at him and the room that just yesterday had witnessed three empty words that now didn’t meant anything, you turned and made your way down the hall. Each step felt like a weight lifting off your shoulders, even as the burden of what you were leaving behind pressed heavily on your heart.
As you reached the front door, the cool morning air hit you, providing a stark contrast to the warmth you had felt just hours before. The quiet outside was a jarring reminder of the world that continued, indifferent to the personal turmoil you were experiencing.
With every step, you tried to reconcile the reality you faced with the memories of what you had thought was true, a momentary field of dreams. The pain was sharp and immediate. How would you continue life after losing another love?
+++++++
#joel miller x reader#joel miller x you#joel miller x y/n#joel miller fanfiction#joel miller x f!reader#pedro pascal character fanfiction#joel miller series#the last of us fanfiction#joel miller#joel miller imagine#joel miller angst#tlou fanfiction#joel the last of us#joel x reader#Joel Miller#pedro pascal x reader#pedro pascal fanfiction#the last of us#pedro pascal imagine#pedro pascar character imagine#pedro pascal#joel miller smut
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Hello! I have an idea but I don't know if you'll see this. I don't know maybe where Geta and Caracallas' wife is pregnant with twins but she doesn't want her children to grow up in a place like Rome, so she flees with the help of General Acacius far from Rome and lives in a cozy and humble house. While Geta and Caracallas are furious about the departure of their wife but they don't know anything about her until two years later when they receive valuable information and send for her to return to Rome. It is until then that they realize what the reader was hiding.
If it is not well translated it is because my language is not English
You will never escape our love
Geta/Caracalla x wife!reader
warning : hurt, dubious consent, kissing, mention of war and death, family problems, mention of injury, it's one of the darker portrayals of the two less sweet more narcissistic and controlling
Summary : If you were the Empress of Rome you were at best the most beautiful thing you could look at. For the people you were beautiful, for the rich you were a short thought and for the two emperors you were property that had to be impregnated and had little to say. But how long can a golden cage last before you break out to escape?
info: thank you dear for the request, sorry that you had to wait a bit i had university to do. Nevertheless I wish you a lot of fun :)
masterlist
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A marriage should always be something beautiful, something exciting, something splendid, something that you remember for the rest of your life, at least that's how it seemed to be for everyone, except for Geta and Caracalla when they married the 'Flower of the West' to benefit politically.
Both parties profited from it with trade, money and slaves it was as simple as that and she had to realize how divine her two new husbands were...it was above all the disgrace of the gods that came over her and love seemed to slowly close around her like a cage with no prospect of salvation.
It had started well, Geta had sent her many letters, his words had flattered her and the coins that came with them showed portraits of two young men who both had a certain charm.
Her mosaic which had been sent back with a few letters was also warmly received, ,,You're here at last, look brother the prettiest woman in all the provinces is finally here with us” Geta greeted her, his fingers warm and careful as he took her hand and placed a kiss on it.
It was a sign of respect, something that would be appreciated once they were married, his looks flattered her, he truly had something divine about him and she found herself laughing more often than she thought she would, ,,Your ideas and views are truly inspiring” she had replied as they had taken a short walk through the palace together.
Each of the two wanted to spend some time with her...until the moment they arrived at Caracalla.
She felt Geta's hand tighten around hers, painfully tight as the younger man came over to them, ,,My pretty flower, if you please,” he chuckled, pulling her hand from his brother whose look seemed almost warning.
A first sign of what was happening between the two, what it was that had befallen eid and what “divinity” lay behind them. As she realized after only a few weeks, none at all.
Geta, a self-proclaimed god whose words were like liquid lies, seemed to influence her every move, from her clothes to her hair, what she ate and what she didn't. In his kisses, there was no love, only mockery.
There was no love in his kisses but cobwebs that wrapped around her more and more, ,,Alone in Rome, a world power, my love, you know I could never forgive myself for losing you” he reminded her almost daily why she stayed in the palace.
When she did go out she saw what she was supposed to see, people starving, protesting, murdering and the Colosseum only seemed to amplify all of it This is no place for children she thought fearfully and put her hand on her stomach, she had shared the bed with Geta as often as with his brother.
A bed full of blood and tears and yet she hadn't gotten pregnant, not yet, but how kind could gods be, especially to her.
What Geta had in being a god, his brother had in madness, Caracalla could be the sweetest and most caring man you knew one moment only to cut her with a knife the next, thinking they were at war and he had to kill her and laughing when he saw the blood dripping on the floor.
A maniac whose bites covered her body more than kisses, ,,I need you, you know that, don't you? This madness I don't know what I'd do without you...maybe burn down the world” he always told her when they were in a quiet moment, when he calmed down and she hoped for something better.
But what Geta had in lies, Caracalla had in manipulation and two golden gods moving around her was a hopeless future...a future she knew she only had one way out of, especially when she didn't bleed for the first time and she vomited.
It was the dark eyes of the folk hero who had often watched the empress, seeing the stains and marks under her make-up, hearing the screams and weeping whenever he had an audience with one of the servants and never seeing her wife in such a friendly way.
Acacius and Lucila had already made plans and the Empress would play a role. ,,If the Empress wishes, I will accompany her back, it is not always safe,” he placed himself between her and the Emperor's brothers, who appreciated Acacius.
She cautiously felt the hand on her back as he led her away from her husbands, her breathing unsteady, the fear of finding out she was pregnant ever-present, ,,Why? Why are you doing this?” she asked cautiously as they sat together in a carriage and he sat opposite her.
His warm eyes looked at her with almost fatherly reassurance and his hand pointed to her belly, ,,Rome has been close to death since it was built, the battles are too bloody and peace must come.
Two dead emperors without heirs would be the beginning” he said slowly and the fear that rose in her that they wanted to kill her disappeared immediately when the carriage suddenly took a different direction than the palace.
,,You will be taken care of, a small hut you will stay in until I come for you and the two have fallen" a short explanation, short words and a plan that brought tears to her eyes. The cage seemed open for the first time.
A cage that opened and led to freedom in the countryside, Acacius hadn't lied, it was a small hut with a servant to help her with the work and the sheep, with a small field for self-sufficiency and supplies that would last for some time.
It was a place that was like the other side of a coin, quiet, peaceful, friendly and safe for her children children who were born a few months later in the spring of the new year and twins a boy and a girl saw the light of day.
A light of the world that did not deny them their origins the girl looked like her older father except for her eyes, she was eager to explore and kept her mother on her toes.
The boy, on the other hand, was the image of his younger father except for his hair, always laughing and chasing after his twin until he played with the little figures.
They were children from her time in Rome, children who had reached the age of two and she still loved them, they were her ,,My two beautiful suns" she called them while she held them and listened to her servant who was more friend than servant at the time.
A time that was pervaded by peace that she did not think that the shadow of the past would once again settle over her, a shadow that came in the form of a carriage.
,,My lady, a troop with the military seal is approaching” she heard the voice of her servant who wanted to close the door but was interrupted. It had been two years of harsh fears and discomfort and peace had finally come to an end, Acacius had won.
A victory she didn't know how false it could be, a victory that turned out to be a sword that stabbed her friend and she didn't even realize it when she was on her way back to town.
The city that held so much sorrow seemed quiet, few people on the street, new buildings and she spotted scattered statues for her Time has changed so many things it went through her mind and the two small children each sat next to her holding her hand.
They would be looked upon as a prince and princess, would be a fresh inspiration and she would finally have peace under Lucilla...or so she thought.
A thought that was miserably shattered when, upon entering the throne room, she looked into two faces that almost made her cry out as she realized like a blow that all those who had helped her were dead, that Acacius had given his life again for a dream of Rome that would never exist and that Lucilla, the princess she loved so much, was gone.
,,Information is more promising than letters and empty words and you're finally back” Geta said his eyes kind but his voice was laced with anger as he came up to her and Caracalla looked tearful ,,You left me alone" he said and she saw the dagger flash in one hand.
You can't escape misfortune, not when your human gods own you or love you, her children still whimpered nervously behind her as they sensed their mother's fear, a fear the emperors treated with disdain.
Geta's hand sought hers, ,,We would have given you heirs, as many as it would have taken, but instead you are raising the children of a what, a merchant? Give them to him” Geta demanded and his hand closed around her arm and Caracalla realized what he should do with the dagger and his smile widened.
Her heart was beating so loudly that she could hear it in her ears, memories of former love were long gone and all she saw were the two monsters she would never forget, monsters who did not recognize their own children and she cried out, ,,They are your children!” as Caracalla raised the dagger and Geta tried to pull her away.
Words that made them both pause, the dagger fell to the ground and the clink gave her goose bumps.
Geta let her go and both men looked at each other uncertainly, she let her twins slowly emerge to see their fathers, ,,They're yours...that's why I left,” she said in defeat and she knelt between her children to look up at the emperors with both of them.
Geta and Caracalla both looked at the toddlers in disbelief but the resemblance was unmistakable before Caracalla poked his son on the nose who laughed.
,,Such a waste of time we would have celebrated, instead we had to mourn...but never again, finally we are a family” Geta announced and took his daughter in his arms who immediately played with the gold in fascination while her mother still knelt on the floor not knowing what to do.
Monsters could love, they had once loved her themselves, but in the end it was always just her body, her natural existence, having children that they both wanted from her and when she saw that neither of the two husbands even gave her a glance she could hear the slamming of the cage all the more.
They had given the emperors what they wanted, heirs, and now she was nothing more than a soon to be distant memory for her twins because they now had their heirs and her mother had to rest for a long, long time alone, accessible only to the emperors.
It seemed as if the nightmare was only just beginning.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
@potatoesenpaii , @cottoncandiescupcakes , @k-yurieee , @somepallings , @userchai
#gladiator ii#gladiator 2#emperor geta#emperor caracalla#marcus acacius#emperor geta x reader#emperor caracalla x reader#male x female#reader is female
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May I request some Luffy smut? Maybe including some aphrodisiac of some kind or influence from a devil fruit- I don't mind! I'd just love to see your ideas
I am SO sorry this has taken so long, thank you to everyone who's sent in requests for being so patient. Life has been kicking my ass this month so badly I haven't even been able to read any fanfic, let alone write it. Fingers crossed that the end of November is kinder than the beginning!
I'm really excited to have finally finished this request, I'm a big sucker for sex pollen/aphrodisiac stuff so this was really fun for me! Also, this was my first time writing for Luffy, so I hope I did him justice!
Need
Pairing: Luffy x Reader
NSFW
Summary: You find your Captain in dire need of a little help. What kind of friend would you be if you didn't provide? Warnings: Smut, Sex Pollen/Aphrodisiac, Oral Sex (Reader receiving), Vaginal Sex Word Count: 1.8k
You should have known something was wrong when the ship was quiet. The Thousand Sunny is never quiet. There’s always the sound of clashing metal, of excited voices, of a song dancing its way across the deck. But you don’t hear a single noise outside of your door, nor do you see anyone as you pad your way outside.
You knew that you were docking soon, that your crew would leave to explore the island, but you didn’t expect them to leave without waking you up. You had been on night watch last night, so you certainly needed the rest, but you’re not used to them not at least momentarily waking you to let you know where everyone’s going.
Your surprise and confusion only grows as you hear someone crashing through the brush, and you see your Captain emerge, sprinting precariously toward the ship as though he’s being chased.
“Luffy?”
He doesn’t answer as he continues to rush forward, launching himself up onto the Sunny. Luffy stumbles onto the deck, teetering dangerously towards the railing. Before you can rush to catch him, his back hits the wood, and he lowers himself to the ground, legs splayed out. You can’t even tell if he can see you until he murmurs your name. He’s dripping with sweat, his face red.
You kneel down between his legs, leaning forward to try to get a good look at him. You can’t see any visible injuries, but clearly something is horribly wrong. “Are you okay, Luff?”
“No.” His voice is nothing but a whine, his eyes glassy and unfocused. “Need…something.”
“Something?”
Luffy glances around, pout on his face. “Something. Dunno what.”
You reach out to rest your hand on his forehead, which is burning so hot you almost pull it back in shock. He leans into your touch, giving off a soft hum. “You have a fever. Do you know what happened to you?”
“Nothing happened. We were all exploring, and we split into groups, and then…hm…I ate that fruit Zoro picked.”
Oh god. Zoro’s not exactly a botanist, or a survivalist, and for a single moment you believe with every fiber of your being that your dear friend has accidentally poisoned your captain. “What kind of fruit was it?”
“I dunno. It was sweet. And red.”
You sigh. “That doesn’t narrow it down at all. God, you would think that eating one mystery fruit in your life would be enough for you.”
His indignation beats out his discomfort for just a moment. “The first one went really well.”
You guess you can’t argue with that. “Can you remember anything else about it? We can rule out any devil fruit since you haven’t…exploded.”
“It was warm. And it made me wanna come find you.”
That makes you pause. “It…made you want to find me? Like specifically me?”
“Yeah.”
You have a bad feeling about this. “Do you know why you wanted me?”
He squints in concentration. “To…make it better.”
“How?”
He grabs your hand and places it back on his face. The sound he makes is borderline erotic. “Like this. This helps.”
The warmth against your hand, the moan that escapes your captain, the tent you can see growing in his pants, it all starts painting a very troubling picture. A very tempting one, but troubling nonetheless. “Luffy, are you warm anywhere in particular?”
“My stomach. And lower.” He pulls you closer, wrapping an arm around you and burying his face in your neck. His nose nuzzles against you, and he takes a deep breath, inhaling your scent and sighing. His hands gently massage against your hips, reveling in the feeling of your skin beneath his fingertips. “You’re soft,” he murmurs, lips brushing lightly against you. You clench your thighs involuntarily, a move you hope he doesn’t notice.
“You’re—ahh!” One of his hands moves up to your breast, squeezing your breast through your shirt, and he moans again at your squeak. “You’re not in your right mind, Luffy! I think that fruit was—ah!” His hand slides beneath your shirt, then your bra, and finally he pinches your nipple.
“Come closer.” His voice is thick as he pulls you onto his lap. “I think this is fixing it. Feels nice.” He jerks his hips, and you can feel his hardness rub against you. You try to keep your moan inside of your mouth, but when you do, he huffs, and ruts into you harder.
“Luffy!”
He grins. “That’s better.” As his hand begins to slide down the front of your pants you finally come to your senses and grab it, stopping him in his tracks. He blinks at you, a little clarity coming back to his eyes. “What’s wrong?”
“You–you’re clearly under the influence of something, and I don’t want to make you do anything you don’t want–”
“I want it.” The hand slides slowly down further. His voice grows hungrier, more desperate. “I need it.”
With the way he’s looking at you, pupils blown out and cheeks flushed, you believe him.
“Well if you really need it, I’d hate to deprive you, Captain.”
He grins, and before you know it, you’re pinned to the deck, your shirt and bra removed, Luffy’s teeth pressing insistently against your chest. He shoves his hand unceremoniously between your legs, making a small noise of satisfaction against you when you squeal. His fingers slide against your clothed clit, sending a shiver up your spine and slowly building the heat in your gut. He hums quietly, “It’s wet.” He looks up at you. “For me?”
You flush, before nodding quickly. You can’t bring yourself to look at him out of fear you’ll combust. You can see the sweat sliding down the muscles in his arms and chest, his tongue peeking out of his mouth as he pants. He looks even better than you’d ever dreamed, his eyes radiating a hunger than you never expected to be directed at you.
He quickly slides down your pants and underwear in a single motion, and in your surprise you press your thighs together, shielding yourself from him. He practically growls, “Stop that. Wanna taste.”
He pries your thighs apart, diving into you with the same enthusiasm he does everything else. His tongue laps at you with reckless abandon as he sloppily takes everything you’ll give him. His hands pull you impossibly closer, his nose brushing against your clit as his mouth explores. When you moan, he laughs against you, the rumble of it spreading across your sensitive skin and making your thighs tense around his head. You worry you’ll suffocate him, drown him, but he doesn’t seem to mind losing to you.
You can feel the tension building in your body, your legs shaking as you come closer and closer to your peak. Your hands grip the grass beneath you, one second away from ripping it out of the deck entirely. Some part of you is hyper aware of the fact you are out in the open, where anybody could see or hear, but the rest of you is lost in the pleasure of the moment, in the feeling of your Captain’s tongue against you. So you don’t try to stop your back from arching as your climax grows nearer, nor do you make any attempt to hold back your cry as you cum on your Captain’s face.
He pulls away from you, his face dripping, his pupils blown out, and his lips upturned into a dazed smile. You can’t bring yourself to look away as he slowly licks his lips, savoring every drop of you. Without a word, his mouth crashes into yours, and you can taste yourself on his lips. His hands roughly force down his pants, exposing his weeping cock to the cold air. He lets out a borderline whimper of relief against your lips, before pulling back just long enough to whisper, “Get ready.”
“Lu–ah!” He thrusts into you in one smooth stroke as his lips once again insistently press against yours, stealing your breath away. You can feel every inch of him as your body welcomes him in, clenching around his length. He moans into your mouth, the sound deep and wanton. He gives both of you little time to adjust before his hips are rocking, chasing the release he’s been so desperate for. He’s moving so quickly you’re surprised he was patient enough to even wait this long. His hands are borderline bruising on your hips, his teeth clacking against yours as your kiss grows rougher and rougher, as your dear friend and Captain pounds into you with the fervor of an animal in heat.
You can feel his muscles tense under your fingers as you pull him tighter. His breaths grow more ragged with every moment, and as he finally pulls away from your kiss you get to see the beautiful sight of the dam breaking as Luffy finally cums. His face is filled with a mix of relief, exhaustion, and affection as he gives a final few thrusts, your own climax coming not soon after. He collapses on top of you, and the weight is more comforting than crushing, though it steals your breath away anyway.
“I was right.” His voice is sleepy and slow, and you can’t help but picture the faces of your friends as they find you stripped bare and pinned to the deck below your Captain. Sanji might have a breakdown.
“Right about what?”
“I needed you. You fixed it.” His hand comes to rest on the back of your head affectionately, and he places a comically loud smooch on your forehead.
“So you’re all cured?”
“Ye–” He hums, and you can see an idea take him as his face scrunches up and his eyes shift away. “No. I think we’ll need to do this again.”
You can’t keep the smile out of your voice as you respond. “Oh yeah? How many more times, do you think?”
“I dunno. A lot. It could take a while.”
You laugh. “You know, I think we can do this as many times as it takes.”
He lets out an overjoyed laugh. “Awesome!”
“But first we should get inside before anyone else gets back. I don’t really want them to see me like this.”
He nods, quickly scooping you up and carrying you in the direction of his cabin. Before you can say anything else, you hear the voices of your crew coming closer, and you quietly urge him to rush.
You only get a moment of relief before you hear Zoro’s confused voice.
“Whose clothes are these?”
Your panic is quickly overshadowed by Luffy’s booming laugh rumbling through his chest, spreading the same infectious joy that he always does. The embarrassment is worth it, just to hear such a wonderful sound.
Tag List: @pandora-writes-one-piece @shy-writer-999 @saturogojosgirl @dreamcastgirl99 @tochillwithamockingjay
#luffy x reader#monkey d luffy x reader#one piece x reader#one piece#luffy x y/n#luffy x you#one piece luffy#monkey d luffy#x reader#op
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More Of You
Note - in honour of today being two years since I uploaded my first fic, here’s a little something Elisa requested about ten million years ago. Thank you guys for sticking with me and I love you guys so so much 🩷
Pairing - Mason Mount × Reader
Word count - 2.3k
Warnings - fluff
‘Fancy seeing you here’ you suddenly heard. The voice making you jump out of your skin but as soon as it registered in your ears as being familiar you settled slightly. Looking up into those familiar brown eyes with your hand on your chest as if you could hold in your rapidly beating heart, but you couldn’t not smile back at the boy even if he had just scared the crap out of you in the middle of Sainsbury’s.
‘Mason, that was mean’ you laughed. Trying to take a few calming breaths but he clearly thought he was hilarious. Wrapping his arm around your shoulders so he could pull you flush against his side and as his smell hit you, you realised how much you’d missed him.
He looked good. Better than good in fact he looked dreamy and comfy and warm. His hair a fluffy mess presumably after his shower at training and he was wearing one of your favourite tracksuits that made him look like a little teddy bear.
‘Sorry sweetheart’ he whispered. Kissing your forehead gently. ‘You good?’
‘Well I was before you sent me into bloody cardiac arrest’ you chuckled. ‘How about you?’
‘I’m alright, better for seeing you though’ he winked and you knew you were blushing straight away. Heat travelling up your neck and across your cheeks but thankfully he was still holding you close.
It didn’t take much from Mason to make you blush, and he knew it too. You’d been dating for around six weeks now and you were completely wrapped around his finger. It was so obvious to you how you felt about him but you were starting to feel a lot more for him than you wanted to admit. The pair of you had promised to keep things lighthearted and not take anything too serious at the start. After a string of failed dates on both sides with other people you were intent on taking things slow and not very seriously and as much as you were on board with that at first you weren’t sure about it now.
Mason was a good looking guy, who knew what he was doing or who he was seeing when he wasn’t with you? He was the one who’d bought up being casual in the first place which you were now questioning if he’d ever see you as anything other than a bit of fun but at the end of your last two dates he’d kissed you so sweetly it made your head spin and you’d convinced yourself he clearly wanted more with you.
He was keeping his cards close to his chest though and since your last date almost a week ago, you hadn’t heard much from him and he hadn’t tried to plan anything else so seeing him right now left you confused and you weren’t sure how to act. Mason was just as happy as ever though and when he pulled away from you a bit and sent you a bright smile, you felt yourself relax.
‘What are you doing here anyway?’ He asked, ticking your side gently before pulling you to the side so the pair of you were out of the way of all the other shoppers and you could talk easier.
‘Just grabbing some stuff for dinner, I didn’t fancy what I’d planned. What are you doing here?’
‘The same. Training finished a little later than i expected and I fancied fajitas’ he told you. His eyebrows wiggling as he bit his lip and you could help but laugh at his silly face.
‘Are these the ones you promised to make for me one day?’ You teased and you could tell from the way he laughed that you were right.
‘The very same ones, yes’ he winked but you weren’t prepared for what was about to fall from his lips. ‘Listen if you’re free then why don’t we stick to that promise and I’ll make them for you now?’
‘Yeah?’ You questioned. Completely taken off guard by his suggestion as the thought of going to each other's houses just yet felt a little off limits and crossed the line of this whole thing being fun and unserious. You couldn’t say you hadn’t thought about spending one on one time completely alone with him but you also know you might not be able to keep your thoughts from going wild.
‘Well I’ve got no plans, and I’m pretty certain you haven’t got any. Unless there’s some other boy promising to make you fajitas that you haven’t told me about’ he pouted but you just shook your head with a smile.
‘There’s no other boy Mason’ you laughed. Finding it cute he was getting a little protective over you and slyly asking if you were seeing anyone else. You wanted to ask him the same but before you could think quick enough for something to say back he was talking again.
‘Right well let me grab some more things and we can head back to mine then’ he smiled and a wave of nerves hit you as you realised you were actually doing this. ‘What have you got?’ He asked, looking into your basket to see a can of Fanta, a bag of skips and a packet of chocolate buttons. Your face warming instantly out of embarrassment and when his eyes met yours you couldn’t help but chuckle. ‘That looks like the shopping of a five year old who’s been left alone for the night’
‘It’s been a long day, I wanted a treat’ you told him and he was quick to transfer everything into his basket before taking your empty one to place by the till in the stack behind him.
‘Come on then, you can help me’ he winked. Placing his hand on your lower back so he could steer you where he wanted you to go and you grabbed all the ingredients he’d asked for as well as a few more treats. No matter how much you insisted on paying though he wouldn’t let you and soon enough you were following him back to his house.
He let you park up on his drive next to his car before guiding you inside. You were so nervous you didn’t even have a chance to think about how nice and big his house was, all you could think of was you were finally alone with him and cheeks were flaming.
You pushed through it though, helping him unpack the back before he passed you some veggies to chop and you both fell into a light conversation on how your days had gone. Mason letting you unload about your awful job and how they were pushing more responsibilities onto you whilst you were struggling to get your actual job completed and you let him moan to you about his recovery and how slow it seemed to be going.
Mason was always touchy, even if it was subtle, but here in his own home he’d turned it up a notch. Every time he’d passed behind you his hands were on your hips to give them a gentle squeeze and a kiss to the base of your neck but soon enough he just stayed there. His arms wrapped around your middle with his chin on your shoulder and you could feel yourself losing focus and his scent filled your senses.
When it came time to actually cook, he let you take a seat so he could put on a show for you. Teaching you exactly what he does, but not all of it as it was a secret, and whilst you sat and admired the way he flipped the ingredients with ease while his tongue protruded from his lips, he passed you the dips and sides to put into bowls and soon enough everything was ready.
You decided to set up in the living room, popping everything on the coffee table so you could make a little do it yourself fajita bar but Mason was insistent on making you your first one just how he has it so you could experience the magic.
You couldn’t deny they were good, clearly something he made a lot and was proud of and in the end he made them all for you. A look of pride of his face as you ate with a satisfied grin
Once you’d finished you relaxed back into the sofa, the tv on in the background just a faint buzz now as you focused on each other. The softest of touches being shared as you inched closer together until you were practically in his lap. Sharing stories from your past as you giggled away and you didn’t even know how much time had passed but you both didn’t seem to care. Content in each other's presence as you giggled away at his attempts to make you laugh.
‘I’ve enjoyed tonight’ you smiled. Finally feeling fully relaxed around him and able to speak your mind and you could tell he was pleased you’d had a good time.
‘Yeah? Me too’
‘We should do it again then’ you shrugged. Hoping you could try and come off as nonchalant as possible but you were nervous about suggesting you should hang out again even if he wasn’t giving you any signs that he didn’t want to see you anymore.
‘I’d like that’ he whispered. ‘Maybe you can cook for me next time’ he winked and you nodded shyly as he took your hand in his and threaded your fingers together. ‘Listen I wanted to talk to you about something’
‘Okay’ you gulped, suddenly nervous about how his tone and facial expression had changed but you wanted to hear him out no matter what.
‘I know we’ve been on a few dates and we said we’d keep it fun and not too serious but I don’t think I wanna do that anymore’
‘Oh’ you breathed. Disappointment flooding your veins as the embarrassment of what he’d said slapped you round the face. Clearly you were more into this than he was and you felt like an idiot for opening up so much for him tonight but as you looked down and tried to move away he just pulled you right back in.
‘Wait no, that came out wrong’ he laughed, tipping your chin up so you’d look at him again and you could see he was flustered but his smile settled you a bit. ‘I didn’t mean it like I don’t wanna see you anymore, it’s the opposite in fact. I wanna see more of you. You know, be more serious about us?’ he gulped. ‘Like I want us to be exclusive and give it a proper go and see what happens?’ he waffled on and you felt like an idiot for jumping to conclusions.
‘Really?’ You breathed. Relaxing back into him more again as he took a deep breath but you could feel your heart beating in your ears.
‘Yeah, I really think there’s something here. All I do is bloody think about you and when I can see you again’ he teased but you know you felt exactly the same. ‘Those days we don’t talk I’m constantly hovering over my keyboard waiting to text you but I’m trying to play it cool’
‘Well you’re doing a very good job of that’ you laughed but your heart stuttered as he squeezed your hand and nuzzled into your shoulder out of embarrassment.
‘I know it’s been a week but our last date, when I kissed you properly, well I’ve known since then this was more for me and kissing you again is all I’ve bloody thought about’
‘You haven’t kissed me at all tonight’ you pouted, watching his cheeks flush adorably as he couldn’t maintain eye contact with you any longer and even though you were trying to play it cool, the thought of kissing him again was making you just as scared as he looked.
‘That’s cause I’m nervous’ he whispered. Finally looking up at you again and the joy in his face was contagious.
‘You don’t need to be, I like you just as much and I’ve been thinking about more with you too I just wasn't sure how you were feeling and I didn’t want to make an idiot of myself’
‘So you’re up for giving this a go?’ He asked, flashing you his pearly whites as his dimple popped in his cheek and you knew right then and there this boy would be the death of you.
‘I am, and I know you’ve been trying to sneakily work out if I’ve been seeing anyone else but you sir don’t have to worry about that. You’re the only person I’ve spoken to in months’
‘Sorry’ he smiled sheepishly. ‘It’s just I’ve been burned before and I wanted to make sure. But I’m the same, I’m all yours if you’ll have me’
‘I think we could work something out’ you nodded and the bright grin that took over his face made your heart melt.
‘Can I kiss you now?’ He whispered, cupping your jaw as his thumb gently brushed over your bottom lip. His own lip trapped between his teeth and all you wanted was to reach up and kiss him.
‘I don’t know, can you?’ You asked cheekily. His smile mirroring yours before he was leaning in and capturing your lips with his.
#Mason Mount#mason mount fanfic#mason mount blurb#mason mount fan fiction#mason mount fic#mason mount fan fic#mason mount fluff#mason mount angst#mason mount smut#mason mount one shot#mason mount imagines#mason mount imagine#mason mount scenarios#mason mount story#mason mount x reader#mason mount x y/n#footballer x reader#footballer x y/n#footballer imagines#footballer imagine#footballer fan fiction#fluff fic
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Crown of Exile Progress Update
It's been a hot minute since I last checked in on Tumblr to update everyone on my progress. A lot has been going on in my weeks of silence (mainly working on Chapter 10). Between my IRL job and Patreon updates, my time for Tumblr has taken a hit. Hopefully, once I go on break from my work in December, I can return to being more active and start posting more fun stuff.
For now, here's an estimate of my plan for the rest of the game and it's progress. It's all subject to change and again, I'll be posting official dates closer to the release of the game.
The game is at the 900K word count with code, so I'd estimate it's about 850K without code, and there's still a lot more to write. What you can look forward to next is the Ahlf side story I promised you for helping me reach 5K followers on Tumblr. I'll probably post it in the next week and a half so keep an eye out for the post!
Thank you to everyone who's liked, followed and sent in asks in the last few months and sorry for the radio silence 🩷
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Call It Want You Want Pt.2
Pt.1 Pt.3 Pt.4 Pt.5
Summary: You get to spend some more alone time with Regina the day following the party. Sober this time.
Pairings: Regina George x Gender Neutral/Fem Reader
Warnings: internalized homophobia, swearing, feelings, and if I missed some other ones I'm sorry
Notes: Hello! Second part for this story. They're cute, they're fun, they're flirty. Regina is obviously still struggling but we love her anyway lol. I also just wanted to say thank you for the incredible support for the first chapter. Like you are truly so amazing and thank you to everyone who has taken time to read the story, leave a comment, leave an ask, like, reblog. Like all of it. Ily. Debating on continuing this story with more chapters or possibly ending it here. I def have ideas where I can take it, but if folks are satisfied where it's at I'm not gonna like overkill. So if you have thoughts on that, feel free to let me know. But, yeah, kinda a long-ish chapter so I hope you enjoy.
///
Regina, in fact, did not come find you when she was ready to leave. You sat on the front porch with an empty cup and the sleeping cat for almost two hours.
You watched her stumble out of the party eventually, pulling some random guy out with her.
You stood up and followed behind her, Roach following closely behind you. You called out to her and the fourth time you called her she turned around and called you a stalker and told you to leave her the fuck alone.
You didn't really take it personally. The little tidbits of her life that she shared with you tonight were making a bunch of things make sense and you weren't surprised by any of what she was doing.
You couldn't, in good conscience, let her go home with this dude. She was too drunk and he was too handsy and it wasn't right.
This frat fuck took a few jabs at you as well, laughing at his own jokes and Regina told him to shut the fuck up in a way that sounded way more serious and bone chilling that her weak little leave her the fuck alone she sent your way.
"Regina, it's late. Let's just go." You held out her hand for her and she just stared at it before shoving it away and letting go of the frat boy's hand, walking in the direction of your dorm.
You followed closely behind her and the guy shouted after both of you. Calling Regina a tease and calling you a cockblocker.
You walked back to your dorm in silence, only speaking up to say goodbye to Roach when at some point she made a quick right down a side street that she most likely lived down.
You watched her longingly, debating if you would get in more trouble for stealing a cat or for hiding one in your dorm room.
You had intended to walk Regina to her room, make sure she was settled with water and headache medicine. Just overall make sure she was okay in general.
Instead, she sped up ahead of you and didn't even give you the chance to tell her goodnight. She was in her room with the door shut and locked behind her before you were halfway down the hall.
When you went to check on her the next morning, she refused to open the door. You came back multiple times throughout the day. Finally around 2pm you asked to at least acknowledge you so you knew she wasn't fucking dead in her own vomit in there.
"I'm alive, you can stop asking." She said through her closed door.
"You're seriously gonna be like that?" When you got no response you scoffed and shook your head. "Whatever."
You walked back to your dorm where your roommate, Ren, had been setting themselves up for the entire day. You offered help in little ways because to be honest you were desperate to do something that would take your mind off Regina.
You wanted to see her again and spend more time with her, but like sober. It's very apparent though that sober Regina wants nothing to do with you at the moment.
It didn't stop you from trying though.
You made your next attempt around 4:30pm, coming to her door with an offer that you felt was going to be impossible to refuse.
"I'm going off campus to get some Mexican food." You said softly, your face pressed against the door. "Wanna come with me?"
There was about a two second pause before a 'yeah.' came from the other side of the door.
You couldn't help the smile that spread across your face.
"Come on then."
"I'm coming, I'm coming!" You could hear her shuffling around in there. She opened the door, wearing baggy sweatpants and an oversized hoodie, her hair thrown up in a top bun, sunglasses on.
You smiled when you saw her and you didn't miss the way she let herself smile just the tiniest bit when she saw you.
"How are you feeling?"
"Hungover and hungry."
"Let's get going then. It's only like a six minute bus ride." You stepped out of her way so she could exit the room.
"Bus ride?!" She shook her head with an appalled look on her face. "Ew, no. We can take my car." She dug through her purse and pulled out her clunky keys.
"Twist my fucking arm. Sounds good to me." You shrugged. "Wanna eat by the lake then? Take the food to go?"
Regina perked up at the mentioning of the lake and nodded.
"I think that sounds really nice. I would love that."
"Awesome, you lead the way to wherever your car is cause I don't know where student parking is."
"Oooh, do I know something you don't?" She teased, locking her door.
"Alright, alright. Don't get too ahead of yourself now."
You followed her through campus to the student parking garage. You were keeping an eye out for her obnoxious pink jeep but were very surprised to see her approaching an almost normal looking black midsize SUV.
Then you saw the little Volvo logo and that shock value decreased just slightly.
"Wow, no pink jeep? Damn this is nice." You commented when you opened the door and saw the slick black interior.
"My parents didn't want me driving something too targetable in the city. For my safety, you know?" She hopped in to the drivers side and pulled her visor down to apply some coverup and lipgloss that she had pulled from her purse.
"Cause Volvo just screams 'I'm not rich', right?" You teased and scrunched your nose.
"Exactly!" She agreed, and you couldn't tell if she was being sarcastic or if she just fully missed your point.
"Well, since we have a car, I'm gonna alter our plan just slightly. Better Mexican place, and better beach. Can I put directions in?"
"Oh, yeah. Here," she pulled a pink aux cord from the center console and handed it to you. "You can play music too."
"Wow, that feels like so much pressure." You joked, but you had zero idea what typed of music she listened to and were worried you were going to have your music taste judged.
"It's not, I promise."
"You cool with highways or do you prefer side streets? Actually, it's after five we are taking the streets.." You asked, then quickly corrected, putting in the directions to the restaurant. "I'm also gonna put the order in ahead of time."
"Just get me what you're getting."
"Enchiladas?"
"That sounds good. Chicken?"
"I can get you chicken. Drink?"
"Sparkling water, please."
You nodded, adding the entrees, an appetizer to share, and both your drinks. You paid for the meal with Apple Pay and pulled the directions up.
"You'll make a left out of the parking lot."
---
"Do you need a card to pay? You can take mine." She went to pick up her purse from by your feet but you grabbed her arm to stop her.
"I already paid for it, don't worry about it."
"How much do I owe you?"
"My treat. Don't worry about it. I'll be right back. I'm gonna keep my phone here cause I'm just too lazy to unplug it." You tossed your phone onto her lap so it wouldn't fall when you exited the car.
You were in and out within three minutes. They had your food packed up and ready to go. Your stomach growled at how delicious it smelled. You opened the backseat and placed the food on the floor behind Regina's seat so it was snug and secure.
You hopped back in to the passenger side and retrieved your phone from her lap, apologizing quickly when your fingertips brushed over the top of her thigh.
You nodded your head to the music playing, entering the directions to the beach.
"That smells so good. I can tell I'm about to fuck that up. Are you sure I can't pay?"
"No, you're driving us so I've got it. Make a right at the light." You buckled your seatbelt and Regina stepped on the gas to merge onto the street and it was both hot and terrifying the way she did that.
The beach you chose was only about a seven minute drive from the restaurant. When Regina found a parking spot, she commented about how pretty the view was and she was excited to be eating here.
You got out of the car first, unplugging your phone on your way out and shoving it in your pocket. You walked around to the other side of the car and pulled the food out. Regina got herself sorted and locked the car once you were done pulling out the food. She offered to help carry things, but you declined cause it really wasn't heavy.
You walked over some grass to get to the area where there was no sand, but instead different levels of cement platforms overlooking the lake. You found a set of steps instead of making Regina hop down the steep platforms which she seemed grateful about because she muttered 'thank god' when she saw the steps.
You picked a spot on the second to last platform and sat the food down next to you. Regina sat to your left, getting a perfect view of the skyline. You carefully opened the bag, not wanting to rip it so you could throw your trash in it.
You divvied out the styrofoam containers, the drinks, napkins, and plastic silverware between the two of you. You twisted off the metal caps to both your bottled drinks and took a sip of your lime Jarrito while handing Regina her Topo Chico.
You opened up the appetizer of mini taquitos and set them between the two of you.
You waited patiently for Regina to take a bite. You wanted to know if she even liked it.
"You can start first." She said, fiddling with the lid of her container.
You didn't ask questions or hesitate. If it made her more comfortable, you were gonna start first.
You took a big bite of your enchiladas and hummed at the taste, doing a dance in your seat because there was no other way to convey how good it was.
She smiled wide, scrunching her nose at you. You liked when she would smile and show her teeth.
You scrunched your nose back at her while you chewed your food. You pulled a taquito from the plate and shoved just about the whole thing in your mouth in one bite.
You looked at Regina for two more seconds before deciding to give her the space to eat and to not stare at her, even though the only reason you were looking was because she just looked so beautiful.
She took a bite and nodded while she chewed, humming 'mhm mhm' with her hand covering her mouth until she swallowed her bite.
"That is so fucking good."
"I'm so glad you like it cause I was totally worried you wouldn't."
"Is that why you wanted to pay? Worried I was gonna hate it?"
"No." You shook your head, mixing your rice and beans together. "I paid because I wanted to." You looked up at her, squinting slightly because of the sun, but you could still very much see the slight shade of pink creeping up her cheeks.
You both ate in silence and enjoyed listening to the sound of the lake or the conversations of people passing by.
You offered to let her try your drink and your steak enchiladas and she accepted both offers, sticking her fork into your plate to take a small bite of your food and then taking a small swig of your drink. She offered you a bite of her chicken ones and you accepted as well. She put a forkful of food onto her own fork and held it to your lips, her hand hovering underneath to catch any potential spillage.
You opened your mouth and leaned in slightly, letting her follow through the rest of the way.
You ate the bite off of her fork and her hand that was hovering underneath came up, her thumb swiping against your bottom lip even though you were almost certain there was nothing there for her to wipe.
You grabbed her by her wrist softly, which was probably alarming to her just by the way her eyes widened when you did it. You could tell by the way she was breathing that she was nervous and maybe even too much in her head right now. You pressed your thumb to the edge of her palm, encouraging her to open her hand that she had closed quickly into a fist when you initially grabbed it.
You massage your thumb into her palm, pushing upward until she got your hint and opened her hand for you.
You pressed your lips to the skin of her wrist. Once, twice, three times softly. Her eyes fluttered, debating between closing or watching you. You're pressed a firmer, more confident kiss to the center of her palm.
You laced your fingers together, mimicking the same action from the night before. This time though, she tugged your arm, pulling your joint hands to rest on her lap instead.
You didn't outwardly show how excited this action made you. You didn't want to make any sudden movements and scare her away. Instead you stared at the view of the lake in front of you, absentmindedly running the pad of your thumb over the tip of one of her manicured nails.
You felt her shift next to you, letting your hand go briefly so she can move the containers between the two of you to the side and out of the way. She laced her fingers with yours again and scooted up close to you, her knee pushing into your thigh.
"Are you doing anything tonight?" You asked hesitantly.
"Yeah, I have another party." She loosened her grip on you and flattened your hand palm up on her thigh. She rested her hand on top of yours, pressing lightly on your fingertips with her own as if they were piano keys. "What about you?"
"Ren set up a huge tv so we are probably just gonna watch movies." You were going to ask her if she wanted to join you, but you already kinda knew the answer and you weren't in the mood to get your feelings hurt.
"You can always come to the party with me tonight."
"Mm, I'm not sure. Kinda was not a fan of being ditched for most of the night last night." You nudge her playfully with your shoulder.
"I really want you there with me, though." She wasn't looking at you, still too busy fumbling around with your hand.
Which worked in your favor because you're almost certain you had some sort of physical reaction to her saying she wanted you there was her. Blushing, a change to your facial expression, maybe your breathing even got a little faster too. It was difficult to say no because you didn't want to say no to her.
"Okay, I'll go."
"Wow, I didn't even have to like take my top off or shake my ass to convince you." She joked.
"I guess I just want to spend time with you." You said truthfully, flipping your hands so you could give her some attention now.
You traced the lines on her palm with your fingertip, then traced up her finger, back down to her palm, then up and down her next finger. You repeated that action until you traced the entirety of her hand.
She scoffed out a laugh and shook her head, pulling her hand away.
You suppose that was enough being gay for her for the moment.
You turned to grab your drink and took a long sip, offering it to Regina afterwards.
Surprisingly, she took it and took a sip that was longer than the first before handing it back to you.
"The party tonight is a neon, glow in the dark vibe. Do you have something to wear?"
"Oh, gosh. Maybe? I kinda own a lot of black but I'm sure I could find something."
"I noticed, you fucking emo."
"What are you gonna wear, then?"
"Something hot. Obviously."
"Obviously." You mocked her with an eye roll and she laughed.
"We should probably head back and take a nap or something. Party starts at like 11." She started putting garbage into the plastic bag, cleaning up the area.
"11? I feel like you're trying to kill me." You handed her your empty container to add to the bag.
"Quit being dramatic, you'll be fine."
---
The drive back to the dorm was relatively quiet. Both of you too full and maybe even a little too tired to even keep a conversation going right now.
You walked her to her room and when you made an attempt to figure out the plan for later tonight, she shot you a confused look.
"Are you not going to come in?"
"I thought you wanted to nap?"
"Yeah, with you? Like in my bed?" She looked at you like she was annoyed you couldn't read her mind.
"I didn't know that was an option." You defended.
"Are you gonna sit and argue with me about it or are you gonna get in the fucking bed?"
"Well, obviously I'm gonna get in the fucking bed." You smiled, entering the room and slipping your shoes off. "Where do you want me?"
You stood patiently while Regina situated herself. Taking off her hoodie, washing her hands at her sink, wiping off the little make up she had put on earlier, taking her hair down.
"On the outside." She climbed into bed and situated her pillows and blankets.
You decided to wash your own hands, too. Pointing to the sink and asking if it was okay before you actually did it.
"You don't need to ask me to wash your hands." She laid herself down, facing the wall with her back to you. She scooted forward to give you room and patted the open space behind her.
You climb in once your hands were dried. You let Regina cover you and she turned herself around so she was facing you.
You put your hand on her hip, tracing soft circles on her exposed skin where her shirt rode up slightly.
"This okay?" You whispered, pausing your movements until she gave you a response.
"Mhmm." She nodded, inching closer to you and tangling your legs together. Her hand came up and slid under the sleeve of your shirt, rubbing random patterns on your bicep with her nails. "I had fun today." She said, her eyes bouncing back and forth from your eyes to your lips. "I'm not drunk anymore." She pointed out, leaning in slightly and bumping her nose against yours. "Kiss me." She whispered with her lips ghosting over yours.
You closed the barely there space between the two of you and pressed your lips together, pulling her in closer with the grip you had on her hip.
She deepened the kiss, pulling her hand out of your sleeve and gripping the front of your shirt in an attempt to pull you even closer.
You pulled away, nipping her bottom lip as you did. You gave her one more quick peck before pulling away far enough to actually break the kiss.
"So pretty." You mumbled, your hand sneaking up between the two of you. You ran the pad of your thumb over her lips as softly as you could, her eyes struggling to stay open. You traced her lips, over her eyebrows, down her nose with your fingertips. Her eyes no longer fluttering, but are just fully closed now. "Tired?" You let out a small laugh when she settled deeper into her pillow.
"Mhmm." She mumbled, sounding half asleep already. She pulled the covers up higher over the two of you, all but burying herself in her thick duvet.
You wrapped your arm around her waist again and your fingertips danced over the soft skin of her lower back.
You could feel and see her breathing change and you knew she had fallen asleep.
You closed your eyes, the soothing motion of rubbing patterns against Regina's skin along with the sound of her breathing made falling asleep feel inevitable.
---
When you woke up who knows how many hours later, the room was pitch black. Your mouth was dry and you had to pee so fucking bad.
Regina was still knocked out next to you and she didn't seemed bothered by your stirring so you didn't think she would be waking up anytime soon.
You searched for your phone somewhere on the bed. It was in your pocket when you fell asleep, but slid somewhere underneath you during the nap. You finally found it and clicked it on, trying not to be too loud when the brightness of your phone threatened to blind you.
9pm. Your eyes widened. Long ass fucking nap. You never discussed a wake up time or any of the plans for the night with Regina so you didn't actually know what time she wanted to wake up to start getting dressed.
You placed your hand back on her hip and nudged her.
"Regina." You said softly in her ear. Nothing. "Regina, baby." You said a little louder and she turned her head away from you with an annoyed grunt. "It's nine o'clock. What time do you want to get up?"
"Nine?!" She sat up so fast it knocked you back a little. "Fuck, I thought I set my alarm." She found her phone tucked under her pillow, making the same face you did at the brightness of her phone when she turned it on. She turned her phone to you to show you that she never actually confirmed her 8pm alarm. "Fuck." She tossed her phone and rubbed at her temples. "Can you move please?" She said with some bite to it and you're really just hoping she is cranky from being woken up so suddenly and this isn't gonna be another hot and cold situation like last night.
"Yeah, sorry." You turned on your flashlight and stepped out of bed, finding her standing lamp and turning it on.
You were not about to take the risk and turn on the overhead.
She threw the covers back and stomped out of bed. Muttering around the room about how she has so much she needs to do, that now you guys were going to be arriving too late and miss the peak party time. Who fucking knows.
You were still thirsty, now a little hungry, and you still had to pee.
Regina was searching through her closet now, struggling to find whatever outfit she had already planned for herself. Adding to another layer to her crankiness.
"Hey," you said calmly, walking up behind her and putting your hands on her hips to get her attention. Your thumbs slid under the hem of her shirt and rubbing against her flushed skin.
She paused what she was doing relaxing into you slightly, but you could still tell she was annoyed.
"What."
"I'm going to get ready and do some other stuff before we go."
"Are you gonna come back?" She asked, her voice sounding more vulnerable than you expected.
"Do you want me to?"
"Yeah." She said after a brief pause, but her tone had a slight hint of 'duh, should've been obvious' to it. She continued rifling through her closet, just less aggressively now. She even pulled out a belt.
"Then I will absolutely be back." You squeezed her hip reassuringly. "It shouldn't take me longer than an hour. Do you want anything from the vending machines?"
"Um, energy drink. I don't care what kind."
"Anything else?" You back away from her to start getting your shoes on and she just shrugged. "I'll bring you options."
--
Okay, so it was a little longer than an hour when you returned. You ended up taking a shower and going to the little convenience store area in the dining hall because you didn't like the food or drink options the vending machines in your dorm had.
You wanted some decent snacks for when you were drunk, damnit.
It was also more difficult to find an outfit than you had hoped. Ren actually had to let you borrow a cropped, white striped button up cause your were about two seconds from saying fuck it with the theme.
So you dressed it up with some rings and a necklace, put on your favorite pair of boots and hoped it was something that was going to be up to Regina's standards.
You knocked on her door sipping your own energy drink, the bag with her drink and other goodies curled in one of your fingertips.
When she opened the door, music was blasting and it looked like her closet threw up everywhere.
You smiled when you saw her though. Her hair was done, she had a slight wave to it and she had loose strands pinned out of her face so she could do her make up. She changed into comfy shorts and had a thin robe on. Her make up was only half done and she looked flustered and slightly annoyed, but also just really fucking perfect.
"Hi you." You tucked your almost empty drink under your armpit and opened the bag, rifling through it while walking through the door. "I know you said you didn't care what flavor energy drink, but I didn't know if you would prefer peach or cranberry Redbull so I just got you both." You pulled them both out of the bag and held them out for her. "I don't have your number so I couldn't like...ask."
"Oh, no. These are both perfect. I'll take whatever one you don't want."
"They're both for you."
"Oh shit. Thank you." She sounded a little taken aback by the gesture. "I'll do cranberry first then." She grabbed both of the cans from you and put her peach one in her mini fridge.
"Do you want me to open it for you? So you don't mess up your nails?" You offered.
"Ugh, that was so sexy. Yes, please." She held her can out for you. You chuckled as you set your drink on her desk and the bag on the floor.
You took the can, wiping the top of it off with your tank top before opening it and sucking the small amount of the drink off of your thumb as you handed the can back to her.
She thanked you and took a few large sips while she walked back to sit on the floor and finish her make up in front of her large wall mounted mirror.
You pulled out her desk chair and turned it to face her, watching her do her make up in the mirror. You liked seeing all of these vulnerable, human moments of Regina. The way she would get annoyed when her eyeliner wouldn't come out right, how she would have to take breaks and fan herself off because she would get so flustered and start getting hot.
She was just so effortlessly pretty, you don't think you could take your eyes off of her if you wanted to.
It was close to 11pm when she finally finished her make up.
The outfit that she had picked out was a sparkly white cropped top with some splashes of pink and a pair of white flare pants and she complained the whole time she got dressed that this wasn't the outfit she had in mind and it pissed her the fuck off that she couldn't find the shirt she was looking for.
She changed behind her open closet door and you kept your eyes glued to your phone while she changed just to be respectful.
She paired her outfit with a light jacket and some white platform sneakers and when she went to look at herself in the mirror you could tell you was annoyed and unhappy about her outfit.
"Whatever. Let's just fucking go."
---
She was a whole different person when you guys got to the party. As soon as she had a shot in her and was being social, you never would have guessed she damn near had a crisis trying to get dressed.
She was drinking, introducing you to some people she knew, finding glow sticks to put on the both of you.
Things were fine until you ran into Jack, a guy you both went to high school with, unexpectedly about an hour into the party. He was more surprised than anything to find her hanging around with you, which was more of a dig at you than her really.
You also weren't really sure if he meant the hanging around with you in like a 'you were kinda a nerd' way or 'you were fruity' way.
She left fifteen minutes ago to get another drink for you both and you're definitely worried that you've been ditched again.
This house had no front porch, no cat named Roach. Nowhere for you to escape really.
You perched yourself in a nearby corner, hoping Regina would reappear soon.
Instead, some brunette girl that had been eyeing you since you walked in approached you with a drink in hand.
"Where'd your friend go?" She shouted over the music.
"Get more drinks." You showed your empty cup.
"Oh, I was just over there and I didn't see her. Want this one?" She held out the full cup to you and you looked at it, shaking your head.
"I'm okay, thank you!"
"Wanna dance?"
You did a scan of the immediate area, searching for Regina. You found her on the stairs, talking with Jack. You stared hard, hoping she fucking felt your eyes in the back of her head. She put a hand on his bicep and you swallowed thickly.
"No, I'm okay. Thank you." You smiled politely. She leaned in to whisper in your ear.
"Wanna go upstairs?" She put a hand on your chest and played with the collar of your shirt.
You glanced up to see Regina was now very much so paying attention and she did not look happy. Jack was attempting to talk her ear off, but she was paying him no mind now. Her eyes glued to the woman's hand on your chest.
"No, I'm okay." You shook your head so Regina could see you declining her. You placed your hand on her wrist to pull her away, but she wouldn't relent.
Instead she gripped the material of your shirt and pushed herself closer to you, the smell of alcohol coming off her was nauseating and she got neon body paint on Ren's shirt and you really hope that shit is washable.
"Come on, forget about blondie. She left you here all by yourself."
"I said I'm good." You said a bit more aggressively. Not just because this girl was starting to piss you off, but because Regina had disappeared again and that was more upsetting than anything. You grabbed the woman's hand and pulled it off of you, shoving it out of the way when she attempted you touch again.
"Is there a fucking problem?" Regina's voice cut through the thumping music like a hot knife and you were relieved to see she didn't actually ditch you.
The woman turned around and sized Regina up for the briefest moment before deciding you probably were not about to be worth any type of fight Regina was going to start.
She backed away from you both, giving you both the middle finger and calling you bitches. Regina blew her a kiss and waved. For good measure she wrapped an arm around your waist, her other hand sliding under the hem of your tank top just to prove a point to the brunette that she could actually touch you.
You held your breath feeling her fingertips against your bare skin, her nails scraping just above the waistband of your pants.
"Come upstairs with me." She whispered in your ear, pressing a soft kiss against your pulse point. She didn't give you a chance to answer her because she wasn't actually asking you.
She slid her hand from under your shirt and the loss of contact felt more jarring than it probably should have. She hooked her index finger with yours and dragged you through the crowd of people, shoving through them shoulder first.
If she felt like you were falling too far behind or if there was some obnoxious drunk person trying to break you apart, she would give you a sharp tug to jolt you forward. You were apologizing constantly for stepping on toes or slamming into people. Regina on the other hand could not care less.
She was opening and slamming doors left and right, closing them before you even got a chance to see why. Though you weren't dumb and could only assume.
You were pulled into a bathroom at the far end of the house. Too far for the drunk and high people to even think about venturing to. You closed and locked the door behind you.
When you turned around, Regina was sitting on the counter of the bathroom sink and reaching for you. As soon as you were close enough, she gripped you by her shirt like her life depended on it and pulled you between her legs.
Her hand found your chest immediately, staking her own claim over the same spot the brunette had been just minutes prior.
"Fucking bitch." She mumbled, rubbing her thumb over the splotch of neon green paint on your shirt. Her other arm wrapping around your waist, pulling you closer.
You rested your hands on the counter space behind her, leaning in more and letting your hands support your weight. You pressed kisses along her jawline, nipping at her skin gently.
"It was hot the way you scared her away though." You smiled against her when she tilted her head up slightly to expose her neck.
"It was, wasn't it?" She smiled, feeling satisfied with herself.
You kissed down her neck slowly, taking time to appreciate the soft skin under your lips and the feeling of just be this close to her. Smelling the combination of her perfume, her make up, and just her natural scent was more intoxicating to you than alcohol or drug.
You kissed your way back up her neck so you could kiss her lips. She wasted no time wrapping her legs around you and letting her hands find their way to your hair, scratching at your scalp lightly while the two of you kissed.
She pulled away from the kiss unexpectedly, pressing her forehead against yours and rubbing her thumb over the shell of one of your ears.
"I didn't like it."
"What didn't you like, baby?"
"Seeing that girl put her dirty ass hands on you."
"Oh yeah?" You smirked and she gave you a light kick to the butt with her legs.
"Shut up." She rolled her eyes, but she was smiling and made no effort to disconnect your foreheads or to even stop fiddling with your ear. "I can go get that bitch for you if you wa-" Your furrowed your eyebrows and shook your head, placing a protective arm around her so you could slide her almost impossibly closer to you.
"No, no. I'm good right here."
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SECRET'S OUT (part two)
read part one here
𝐩𝐚𝐢𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠: chris x reader
𝐬𝐮𝐦𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐲: nate’s still upset about what happened, but he has to get over it eventually.
𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬: FLUFF, that’s it :)
𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐝 𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐭: 657
𝐚𝐮𝐭𝐡𝐨𝐫'𝐬 𝐧𝐨𝐭𝐞: part two yay!
no beatings took place, thank god.
currently, you’re awkwardly eating lunch at the dining table with nate. it’s been a few days and he has said some words here and there, but he can barely look you in the eyes.
which is understandable, because walking in on your best friend balls deep in your little sister was not a fun sight to see. “how long has it been going on?” he asks out of the blue.
you look up from your plate, seeing him twirl the pasta on his fork. “two months.”
his body tenses, but he nods. “so you guys are just hooking up? no feelings?”
“no,” you say truthfully. that causes nate to finally look up at you, gaining his attention. “we want to start moving along in the relationship phase.”
he’s quiet. you feel bad, but you want to communicate to make amends. it’s silly to have a grudge like this. “you like him.” he doesn’t ask, he says it as a fact.
“i do.”
“does he like you?”
“i sure hope so.” you laugh, trying to brighten the mood. “he’s taking me on an official date tonight to the movies, then he’s coming here.”
“cool.” he sighs. you frown at his dryness, but he notices instantly. “i just don’t want to see you get hurt.”
“you know him better than me, nate. tell me, do you think he’ll hurt me at all?”
he shakes his head. “chris is a good best friend.”
“exactly, and you’re a good brother. at least try to talk to him, okay?” you get up from your chair to throw away the paper plate, going over to nate and giving him a hug around the shoulders.
despite the recent events, chris asked you out officially the other night. he told you that nate still hasn’t spoken a word to him, and you want that to change.
“we could’ve taken an uber. i feel bad that you have to drive.” chris says for at least the third time. you smile at him as you park the car in the cinema parking lot. “it’s fine, i promise.” you reply.
you guys walk into the theater, and get your tickets and popcorn (that chris pays for even though you told him not to.)
he has his pinky around yours as you guys walk to the assigned theater the employee tells you to go. “i’m really sorry about nate.” you blurt. “i talked to him at lunch and he seemed… better? i don’t know.”
chris chuckles. “i’m not worried about him. he’ll come around.”
the two of you enter the theater and take your seats. he takes you by surprise with a kiss on the cheek, but you blush anyway. “i swear.” he says, squeezing your hand tighter.
sibling🧍🧍♀️
tell chris i want to talk to him when he gets here
nate sent that text when you were driving, and now you and chris are staring at it as you sit in the car in the driveway. “oh boy.” chris exhales and you giggle.
you guys get out of the car and head inside, your brother sitting on the couch watching TV. he turns his head when he hears the door shut.
he pauses the TV and gets up, walking in front of chris. it feels kind of intimidating.
he clears his throat. “i give you my blessing.”
you and chris side-eye each other at the word choice, trying not to laugh. “just don’t be an asshole, and when you guys go hang out upstairs don’t… ew. at least not when i’m in the house.” he pauses to look at your sniggering faces, but he smiles. “please.”
nate extends his hand so chris can take it, and he does. “deal.” chris says.
he lets you be and goes back to watching TV while you start to go upstairs.
chris looks over at you, who’s already looking at him. “told you he’ll come around.”
𝐭𝐚𝐠 𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭!
@bunbunbl0gs @lexisecretaccx @thy-mission @angelic-sturniolos111 @sophssturn @mattsneezing @janiellasblog @blahbel668 @meg-sturniolo @hearts4chris @mattslolita @sturnbaby @imwetforyourmom @tillies33ssss @bernardsgf @ilovechrissturniolosposts @braindead4l @sturnifyed
#chris sturniolo#matt sturniolo#nick sturniolo#christopher sturniolo#matthew sturniolo#nicolas sturniolo#sturniolo x reader#sturniolo smut#sturniolo fanfic#sturniolo imagine#sturniolo fluff#chris sturniolo fanfic#chris sturniolo smut#matt sturniolo fanfic#matt sturniolo smut#chris sturniolo fluff#matt sturniolo fluff
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Hey, I’m just here to say you’re extremely missed and that, even though there’s probably not much I could say to make any of the bad things less awful, I’m hoping for an easier and gentler future for you soon. Take care, ok?
Oh man, thank you so much for sending this, and I'm sorry it's taken so long to respond (and to the other person who sent me an ask, too—I'm not sure when I'll get to it but please know it was seen and means so much). It has just been. So awful. I won't dump on the public at large everything that's happened, you don't need that novel, but it feels like every day life's falling apart more and more.
Just, seriously, thank you for sending this, and to the couple of people who checked in with chats (again, I'm sorry if I haven't responded yet, spoons are just very limited). There have been a lot of times throughout this where I get overwhelmed by everything going on and some truly horrific people I've met in the fandom and I've considered deleting everything permanently! Very often!!! Tbh I'm still struggling with that VERY intense urge while writing this. I feel so unsafe, and scared, and run down.
And tbh, it's really hard to believe anyone could care about me when I feel so awful and worthless, I feel like it must be an obligation, or I somehow accidentally manipulated people, but I'm trying to cling to that being the brain demons talking. Because I really appreciate the time and effort anyone's taken with me. And I really miss fandom and fun, even if it's weighed down with some significant trauma—I still love the stories and the characters and, most importantly, the amazing people I've met here. Outside of any fandom I've poked around in, the wonderful people I've met matter the most, and I'm trying to cling to that.
I really enjoy talking with everyone, running little projects/events, and for the first time in years actually writing again. (I've been slowly plucking away at that AU I mentioned a few times and I want to start posting for an event this month but! Ahhh!!!) I would like to try and be active again, and I'm so sorry for just being such an absolute goddamn mess. I feel like this is all too much to even say, but I do want to just be honest about all of it. Still, again, thank you so much for reaching out <3 And I'm sorry this is so ridiculously long even though I don't feel like I'm saying much and nothing important, I didn't intend for this answer to be a word-vomit update, just. Things suck, but you guys are good, and I hope things are as okay as you can be on your side of the screen <3
#Ask#shiromouse#Yadda yadda#I feel really bad for even saying all this honestly kasjndkasjdn#I'm really so sorry if this is too much#The guilt has been especially bad since I was... uh baited let's say#A very very bad incident#Done by a 'friend' in the fandom maybe about a year ago now#It's just been so hard to trust and feel okay and exist man#Because you can't forget#It makes it so hard to want to exist#And my house is falling apart my animals keep getting sick#I swear it's something new every day#ANYWAY time to stop rambling#I'm gonna try to restart the queue in the next few days I just still feel... overwhelmed#That's why I stopped it#I just couldn't stand existing#BUT YEAH#GOTTA STOP RAMBLING
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credits to the gif maker!
LOVE IS COMPLICATED - PART III
—old habits die hard
summary: the trials and tribulations of falling in love or two idiots who are obliviously in love.
pairing: pedro pascal x actress/singer!reader.
word count: 13.5k
warnings: 18+ (minors dni). filthy smut. angst. cussing, age gap, mentions of drugs and alcohol. no use of y/n, if i missed something please let me know!
a/n: i know i made you guys wait a lot for this but i wanted it to be perfect and i was really busy but it's finally here now! thank you for the love on the first two parts, i love all of you. happy reading!!!
masterlist with next parts!
"Oh yes! I forgot about the most exciting part. It's your friend, Pedro Pascal."
You're not sure who it's exciting for, because it's certainly not you. Sure, Jon had no idea what had happened between you and Pedro, but you were hoping he did at the time. Because if he did, he wouldn't be gushing about how exciting it is that the two of you are going to collaborate.
You try to hide your dismay and muster up a smile as Jon continues to talk about how great Pedro is. You can't help but wonder how you're going to make it through this project without letting your personal issues with Pedro get in the way of your work and finally driving you into insanity.
Regardless, you know you have to remain professional and focused. It's just a job.
"Does he know about me?" you hesitantly ask.
"Yeah, he's known for awhile." Jon replies, "We asked him not to mention anything, but I've gotta say I'm surprised he actually didn't."
"I've got to say I'm surprised too."
•••
For the next few weeks, the only thing on your mind was Pedro. You couldn't stop thinking about what he might have said or what he thought when he found out you were going to work together. This war between you and your brain was pretty stupid because you could just call him or send him a quick text.
Hey, guess what? We're finally going to work together! :)
Simple as that.
The problem was that you didn't want to be the one to bring it up first. You weren't the type to hold a grudge over trivial matters, but here you were, silently punishing him for what he did last month.
One of your last shows on the tour was in New York, and as usual, you invited most of your friends. Even though Pedro had been living in London for the last few months, you still sent him a text inviting him. He had taken a flight for other stuff, so it was safe to assume he would make the effort for this as well.
You: Hey! I know you're in London, but my show at MSG is next week, and everyone's coming. I would like for you to come too :)
Pedrito: Hi, my schedule here is pretty tight for next week. I'm sorry. Next time?
You: Bummer. Sure.
Despite your disappointment, you understood the situation perfectly. His work schedule has become quite hectic recently, as he has been traveling and shooting movies in various locations such as Hawaii, Boston, and now London. Your schedules no longer seemed to be in sync, and neither of you made an effort to rearrange your plans to fit the other.
Those months he spent filming with Oscar in Hawaii were by far the worst. Mostly because they were having fun and you weren't part of it. To put it mildly, the FOMO nearly killed you. The group chat and his Instagram were filled with pictures of them surfing, hiking, and exploring the island while you were miles away alone.
The night of the show arrived, and everything went smoothly as planned, leaving you with a feeling of relief and satisfaction. That later changed when, backstage, in the midst of winding down, Oscar approached you with a smile, "Too bad Pedro couldn't make it, he would've loved this outfit."
You smile as you look down at your own stage outfit, knowing he'd like it because of its purple color.
"Too bad he's in London," you reply back.
Oscar's face falls slightly as he responds, "London?"
You nod as you chug down the last of your water bottle.
"No, he got here days ago," he says, huffing a laugh. "I called him so we could ride together, but he never answered. I figured I would run into him here."
"Oh."
Oscar's expression is slightly puzzled, as if he's trying to connect the dots between the two statements. "Is everything okay between you guys?"
You wanted to lie so bad; say yes and play it cool. After all, that's what you two have been doing for the past nine months: playing pretend. But this whole exchange has caught you off guard, and you're not sure if you want to continue with the facade or finally be honest about the situation.
"I don't know anymore."
Your attention snapped back to the present.
For days, you tried to brush it off and convince yourself that it was no big deal, but deep down, you couldn't shake off the feeling of disappointment and hurt. He had been there and chose not to go. Not even a call or text to explain or apologize. Nothing.
So, no. You weren't going to text him first, were you?
Manhattan Beach Studios, Los Angeles.
October 2018.
If somebody had told Pedro three years ago that he would be starring as a bounty-hunting badass in a signature Star Wars series, he would've laughed in their face. But here he was, about to start the table read for the first episode of The Mandalorian, feeling a mix of excitement and nerves as he waited to see how his character would come to life on screen.
It was a pinch-me moment. He had come a long way since his early days as a struggling actor, and he was grateful for the opportunity to work with such talented people on a project that was sure to be groundbreaking. As he looked around the room at his fellow cast members and crew, he couldn't help but feel a sense of pride and accomplishment.
Until his eyes landed on you.
He then felt shame and guilt for how he handled things a month before. He knows he fucked up. You're sitting across from him, the heavy, discerning quality of your gaze sending shivers down his spine. It's as if you're peering right through him, past the gleaming politeness to the rough edges beneath. If looks could kill, he'd be a dead man.
Your expression says, "Wipe that smile off your face. There's nothing to be happy about."
He was convincing himself that he didn't exactly know what drove him not to tell you the truth about his availability. Except he did. His time away from you had allowed him to get you out of his system, and he didn't want to fall back down the maybe-I-have-feelings-for you rabbit hole again. So in true Pedro fashion, he avoided it.
He knew he'd be back in New York for your concert when you texted him. Yet he boldly lied. And it bit him in the ass.
He couldn't throw away all the progress the two of you had made, so he knew he had to make amends for his behavior before it was too late. He made a mental note to talk to you after the reading was over.
•••
The reading was over in what seemed like an eyeblink. You were so thrilled to be part of this, and even given everything that has happened between you two, you would be lying if you said you weren't happy you're doing this with him.
Though you weren't doing a particularly good job of displaying it. You barely talked to him when you got here, quickly exchanging hellos and moving on to something else.
You were settling into your trailer with your agent, going over some details, when you heard a knock. Your agent quickly rises to unlock the door as you continue to put some of your things in a drawer. When the door opens, you hear him before you see him. "Taylor, Taylor, Taylor!"
Taylor couldn't help but laugh at his antics, and you can't either. A smile formed on your lips as you closed the drawer before collecting yourself and remembering that you were really mad at him.
"Pedro, long time no see!" she says as they hug and exchange pleasantries.
Taylor looks my way. "I am going to get some of those snacks we saw earlier," she says, "I'll be back in a bit."
As she exits the trailer, you make your way to the door. Pedro is standing there, dressed in a black sweatshirt, olive green trousers, and white sneakers, which you can only describe as attractive.
Needless to say, he was making it difficult for you to hate him right now.
•••
Pedro's mind goes completely blank when he sees you; it's as if he has forgotten everything else around him and all he can focus on is you, making it hard for him to form coherent sentences.
"You cut your hair," he blurted.
"Yes."
"It looks very pretty; I like it."
"Is that why you came here?" you inquire, "to tell me my hair's pretty?"
"No, I came here to apologize," he replies back as he steps into the trailer and closes the door behind him. He watches you sit on the edge of the sofa that adorned the room, hands on each side of you, waiting for him to continue.
He takes a deep breath. "I know I messed up and hurt you. I just wanted to make things right, kid."
"Why?"
"Because you’re the last person in the world I want to upset. That would be, like, devastating."
"Hmm," you hum, a blank expression on your face, "you're not doing a very good job at it."
Pedro couldn't help but smirk at your jab, "Clearly. You looked like you were plotting my murder in there."
"Oh, I already know where I'm going to hide your body."
His laugh fills the room, and your face softens. He began walking towards the couch, and you both slumped back into it at the same time. "It's nothing really; I'm over it," you say, staring at the wall.
Pedro tilts his head to look at you, "When will you learn that you're so bad at lying that it's not worth even trying?"
You face him, your beautiful eyes catching him off guard. "This is the worst apology ever, by the way."
"I know, princesa," he says softly. "But I mean it. I'm sorry I didn't go, and I'm sorry it took me this long to apologize."
You slowly nod, your face displaying a hint of uncertainty. As if you're trying to figure out whether he's sincere or not, which he wishes you didn't have to even wonder about. "It's okay if you didn't want to go; I just wish you would've said that instead of lying and making me look like an idiot, P."
No, no, no. I wanted to go, but I'm a fucking coward.
Your words pierced him like a dagger, and the pang of guilt washed over him again. He's been drowning in it for the past few weeks, but to actually hear the disappointment in your voice is a completely different beast.
Before he could even muster up a response, you speak again, "But I forgive you."
Pedro's breathing slowed down as you placed a hand on his thigh, and he heard those words. He reciprocated the gesture and then put his hand over yours, gripping it softly, his eyes never leaving yours.
"Good," he says, "because now we can properly freak out about this," excitement overflowing through him as he couldn't keep it in anymore.
He needed to share this with you. When the creators of the show approached him, you were the first person that came to his mind. One of the things you've always wanted to be part of was Star Wars, so he knew you would be jealous to find out he was cast in this and couldn't wait to give you a hard time, just like Oscar did when he got the role of Poe.
That plan quickly fell apart when the creators revealed they were bringing you aboard, and even though it meant he couldn't torture you any longer, he was overjoyed you were going to be by his side in this.
“You must be ecstatic,” you tell him, your hands still connected, "this is a big deal."
"Yeah, who would've thought?"
"I did," you attempt to correct yourself, but it’s too late. Pedro has already saved the words for later in his mind. "I mean, we did! We all did. Your friends, I mean. We knew things were only going to get better for you. Even before I met you, I knew you were going to do great things. Sarah talked about it all the time, too, and we're pretty sure this is only the beginning."
He's stunned at the rambling explanation of your thoughts about his rising career. He looks at you with gratitude in his eyes, feeling fortunate to have supportive people like you in his life who believe in him.
The lack of hesitation in your voice did the opposite of what your words had done; it cooled down the hope that had lit up like a flame in his chest.
"Now, come on, let's find Taylor and those snacks," you tell him as you rise up from the couch and extend your hand to him, "I'm hungry, and we still have costume fittings," you add. He puts his hand in yours, restraining himself and letting you struggle to pull him up as you try your hardest to do so.
"You asshole!" you yell, tightening your grip on his hand, "Stop that and get up!"
He can't stop laughing as you finally manage to pull him up. "you need to work on your strength, baby," he says between chuckles.
You scoff and playfully hit him on the shoulder, "My strength is fine, thank you."
"Ow! Who's the asshole now?" he exclaims, rubbing his shoulder.
“And don't call me baby,” you tell him. "I forgave you, but that doesn't mean I'm not still mad at you."
"I don't think it works that way, baby."
"José Pedro!" you exclaim, clearly irritated.
"Sorry, old habits die hard."
The next two months were amazing, to say the least. It's as if all the two of you needed was to work together on a TV series to realize how much you needed to be together. Just like your on-screen characters, you two were tied to work together by a third thing, that thing being, of course, the child.
Speaking of the child, you were obsessed with it. You couldn't believe a green, Yoda-like animatronic puppet could win your heart in such a short period of time, but here you were. It was magical. Truth be told, everything about The Mandalorian was magical.
Every day you had to step on that immaculate set that's built and surrounded by volume, which creates an infinite sort of visual experience in terms of skies, planets, space, ships, and all kinds of things, was magical.
It just felt like you were stepping onto these highly sophisticated amusement park rides, with very little being left to the imagination because of how incredible the design work is from all the departments.
Another magical thing was seeing Pedro bring the character to life. His ability to convey so much depth and complexity to a character that is mostly hidden behind a mask is truly impressive. From crafting his "Mandalorian" walk and stance to his deep, jarring voice.
That voice.
That voice was made to torture you and send shivers down your spine. That voice made you forget all of your life's problems. Actually, that voice was made for one thing and one thing only, the bedroom.
"Oh my god, it doesn't sound like a bedroom voice!" he protested, as he highlighted lines in his script.
You were joining him and the creators in the recording booth for his voiceover session.
"It does! It's a sexy bedroom voice." you teased, making everyone laugh. "That's not very Disney of you, P."
He gets closer to the mic and whispers, voice altered because of the modulator, "Bite me."
"See? It works perfectly."
•••
You were having as much fun as you could. Simply put, you two were menaces on set.
You could tell Jon, Dave, and the rest of the crew were patient with your antics, but it was clear that they were also entertained by your on-set dynamic. It's not everyday that you get to work with your best friend, and you two made it everyone's problem.
Although sometimes you have to admit you take it a little too far.
"Catch me if you can, Boba Fett wannabe!" you scream.
Pedro was chasing you through the set with a prop sword, trying to get you to stop teasing him about his costume. "You are one insult away from getting a taste of this sword!"
"Okay, tin can man!"
You were running away from him as fast as you could, hoping to find a place to hide before he caught up with you. You quickly hide behind one of the makeup trailers and peek out to see him come to a stop, catching his breath. He was wearing his Beskar getup, minus the helmet.
“Give up yet, old man?"
He laughs. "We're being extra cruel today, huh?"
Taking advantage of his momentary pause and facing away from where you were hiding, you slowly inch closer to him, trying not to make a sound. As you get within arm's reach, you draw one of your prop knives from your costume pocket and hold it to his back. Using your free hand to hold him steady, you lean in and whisper in his ear, "I can bring you in warm, or I can bring you in cold."
He turns his head slightly, and you can see the smirk on his face. "That's my line, thief."
Before you could pull away, he grabbed your wrist, pulling you back toward him. He takes hold of you and tightens his grasp on your waist. "Let me go, P!"
You struggle to break free from his grasp, but he only holds you tighter. "I am going to squeeze you so hard you will fart," he chuckles.
You snort. "You have such a way with words."
As you try to wriggle out of his grasp, you accidentally elbow him in the face, causing him to release his hold on you and stumble into a piece of plywood that had been propped up.
"Aw, fuck!" he cries out, clutching his nose.
"Holy shit, I'm sorry!" you rush to him, cupping his face. "Are you hurt?"
He removes his hand from his nose, revealing a cut and a trickle of blood. "It's alright, just a bloody nose," he says calmly.
You touch his nose gingerly, and he winces in pain. "Nevermind, I think it is broken."
•••
You begged Jon to let you ride to the hospital with them; after all, this was your fault. When you get there, the doctors rush to Pedro's side and begin examining him.
If you weren't preoccupied with being mortified over this, you'd laugh.
The scene before you is straight out of a sitcom, with Jon frantically explaining the situation to the doctors, Pedro in full costume with fake injuries and blood that you were pretty sure the doctors thought were real, and you standing there with an expression that screamed: Hey! It's me! I did this!
After a couple of minutes of clearing up that it was an accident and that the blood coming out of his ears was fake and not the cause of a brain hemorrhage, one of the doctors led us to a room to examine his nose.
"It's not broken," the doctor said, as she prepared to clean the wound. "He's just going to need a couple of stitches."
"Oh great, we still need to finish a scene, and they're waiting for us." Jon replies.
"This will take 15 minutes, tops," she says, grabbing a tray of medical supplies. “I will be fast.”
"I'll call the guys," Jon tells you as he exits the room.
You nod in agreement and stand in a corner as you silently watch the doctor carefully clean, anesthetize and stitch up the wound. You feel relieved that it wasn't anything more serious.
After she finishes, Pedro thanks her, and she nods with a smile. "You're going to need to take some analgesics for the pain. I'm gonna go grab my prescription pad. I'll be right back."
She exits the room, and you walk over to Pedro. He moves his head slightly, showing off his nose.
"How does it look?" he asks teasingly.
Your cheeks warm with embarrassment. "I can't believe I ruined your perfect nose."
"Who said it isn't perfect still?" he says it as if it were a challenge. His brow is arched, with the tiniest smirk hidden in one corner of his mouth.
"Don't start. I'm mortified."
"Tranquila, princesa. I said it was okay after you apologized 20 times on our way here," he reassures you. "Plus, now we have a funny story to tell during our press tour next year."
You sigh. "I guess you're right."
"You know," he says, "what hurts right now is that today is our last day of shooting. I can't believe it's been two months already. Time fucking flew."
Your heart sinks as you're once again reminded that this amazing experience is coming to an end. The day you've been dreading for weeks is finally here, and you're not ready to say goodbye. It's not like you already know you'll be back next year for the next season, but you're not ready to say goodbye to him and the daily routine you've formed, which mostly consists of breakfasts together, long hours on set, and late-night movie marathons.
"Yeah, I'm trying not to think about it," you muttered, "gonna miss our little routine."
Pedro studies you. "Maybe we can extend it for a little while longer."
Not knowing where this is going, you raise an eyebrow inquisitively. Pedro smiles, "I..I was thinking maybe... maybe you could come with me to Chile for Christmas with the family."
Your heart skips a beat as you process Pedro's words. You open your mouth slightly to say something, but you close it again, momentarily speechless, overwhelmed by the unexpected invitation.
"Uh… I know you probably have plans with your family,” he interjects, “but I thought this would be a good time for you to finally meet my father and the rest of the family, and—"
Before he could finish, you nodded eagerly, feeling a rush of excitement at the prospect of spending Christmas in Chile with Pedro and his family, “Yes, I would love to."
You've never seen him smile as broadly as he does now, and you know that you have made the right decision.
New York City
December 15, 2018
“Dude, he invited you to his hometown with his family, and you still think that man has no feelings for you?”
“Taylor...” you paused, picking up a clothing item that had fallen to the floor. “It's just a friendly gesture.”
“Yeah, I'm sure he invites everyone to his hometown to spend the holidays with his family. Sureee.”
You didn't want to go there; you'd promised yourself that you wouldn't get entangled in what ifs, so your friend's teasing wasn't helping you keep those thoughts at bay.
“I told you, he doesn't like me like that. I know he doesn't,” you say, suddenly remembering that night when you overheard him telling Sarah how he felt about you. “Plus, as my agent, you more than anyone know I can't do relationships right now; my life's too busy."
Taylor finished zipping up the last of your bags for the trip and gave you a reassuring smile. "I know, but it doesn't hurt to have a little fun, does it? And who knows—maybe he has changed his mind. Just enjoy the trip and have fun."
No, he hasn’t changed his mind.
“Yeah, I just want to have a good time, really. Things have been so good between us these past couple of months, It just feels...right again. I don’t wanna mess it up.”
"Understandable, bestie. However, I think you’re both making a huge mistake.”
You shake your head in amusement. “Thanks for helping me pack.”
“Thanks?” she scoffs. "I'm expecting a raise."
Santiago, Chile
December 20, 2018
After the chaos of the day leading up to the flight, it was actually a relief to be sitting here. The large, comfortable seat, with your feet tucked up under you as you gazed out the jet window, felt very much deserved.
While the gentle buzz of the flight filled your ears, you laid your head against the window of the plane and watched the clouds and the seemingly endless expanse of sky fly by.
As you began to drift off, you did your best to keep your attention on what was outside the plane rather than allowing your mind to wander to what would await you once you arrived at your destination. The mixture of excitement and exhaustion lulled you into a peaceful slumber, dreaming of the journey that lay ahead.
•••
The taxi ride from the airport to the Balmaceda-Pascal's was a blur of unfamiliar sights and sounds, but you couldn't help feeling a sense of wonder and curiosity as you took in the new surroundings. As the car comes to a stop in front of the house, you shoot Pedro a quick text.
You: I'm here, tonto.
Pedrito: I'll be right outside, tonta.
Since you still had a few things to attend to in New York, he had arrived two days earlier. After insisting like a madman that he could pick you up from the airport and you insisting like a madwoman that you could easily get there on your own, he gave up and let you take a cab.
The driver has already gotten out of the car to wrestle the luggage from the trunk. You clamber out after him into the brilliant sunlight, the heat instantly making your travel outfit—which consisted of a pair of black leggings, a sweatshirt, and Pedro's Freaky Tales green hoodie—feel suffocatingly thick. The change in temperature is a shock to your system, having just come from New York's freezing climate.
“Hey you!” Pedro's booming voice interrupts your thoughts, “Nice hoodie. Where'd you get it?”
“Um, someone left it at my place a while ago, and I decided to keep it. It's really comfy.”
Pedro smiles and nods, "It suits you. You should wear it more often."
“Thanks, but not here,” you tell him, your face flushing from the heat. ”It's burning hot."
“Welcome to Chile, where it's scorching hot during the winter and freezing cold during the summer,” he says in a joking tone, as he tucks a strand of loose hair behind your ear. “Let's get inside, it's cooler.”
The moment you stepped into the house, you were greeted by a refreshing blast of air conditioning. The house was lovely. You take in the Mediterranean decor style and the large windows that let in natural light as you look around. On either side of the foyer, stone archways lined the way up two stories to an ornate ceiling.
As you make your way to the living room, you catch a glimpse of the various family pictures that adorn the walls. The living room was spacious and inviting, with plush couches and a fireplace that made you feel right at home.
Dropping your bags next to the stairs that led to the second floor, Pedro places a hand in your back and gestures you towards a hallway, “C'mon, everyone is out back.”
At the back of the house, tangled trees press close, the forest extending as far as you can see, and off to the left, in the meadow, a gazebo adorned with wild grapes stands within a smaller thicket of trees. Bright glass-shard wind chimes and cutesy bird feeders swing in the branches, and the path cuts past a row of flowering bushes before curving onto a footbridge and then disappearing into the mountains on the far side.
It's like something out of a storybook. Charming, picturesque, and perfect.
“You're here!” A familiar voice drew your attention back to earth. “And right on time. How was your flight?”
Pedro's sister, Javiera, lit up with a smile as she hugged you tightly. You returned the embrace, grateful for her warm welcome. "It was long, but good nonetheless," you replied with a smile.
“Well, if it isn't the infamous best friend I keep hearing about?” you turned around to see Pedro's father approach you with a friendly smile on his face.
"Yup, that's me," you reply, extending your hand for a handshake.
"I'm glad to finally meet you," he says, shaking your hand. "Pedro talks about you all the time."
“I hope good things,” you chuckle, “and it's great to finally meet you too, Mr. Balmaceda.”
“Oh, please call me José,” he tells you, waving his hands. Just like his son, you notice that José has a warm and welcoming personality, making you feel at ease. “And please, make yourself feel at home; we're thrilled to have you.”
“No, he's thrilled to have a world famous superstar staying at his house,” Nicolás, Pedro's brother, retorts back at his father. Making everyone laugh and leaving you feeling a bit embarrassed.
"Oh, I don't know about being a superstar," you say lowly.
“Are you kidding?" Nicolás cuts you off as he takes a seat, "Don't be modest. It's literally an honor to have you here."
“Yeah, you're sooo cool,” Javiera's older son added.
"Okay, alright, that's enough." Javiera must have noticed your embarrassed expression. She reached out to you and held you by the shoulders, reassuring you. “Let's not overwhelm her with too much praise. Let's give her some space, she must be tired."
And she was right. The almost 12 hour flight has left you feeling exhausted, jet lagged, and in need of a very long nap.
"Vamos princesa, I'll take you to your room." Pedro turned around and led the way towards the room while you followed him closely, trying to keep your eyes open and fighting the urge to just collapse on the floor.
As you reached the second floor, your attention was drawn back to the house. “This place is so gorgeous, P.”
“We got it a couple of years ago. We wanted something a little bit bigger so we could have everyone over for vacations, and we also wanted something that felt like home, you know?”
“I love it,” you tell him.
“This is your room,” he says, jerking his chin at the door on the right, “and this is mine.”
He opens the door to the room on the left. His room, much like mine, is absolutely huge. The bed is along the wall immediately to your right as you enter, a recklessly comfortable looking king size bed doused under the weight of a fluffy duvet and an insane amount of pillows.
The bedding is bright white and contrasts sharply with the dark wooden floorboards. "Your bed looks like a big fluffy cloud," you say, giggling.
"It feels like one," he says, smiling. He can tell what you're thinking by the look in your eyes,"Go on, I know you want to."
Like a little kid, you start running towards the bed, feeling the softness of the plush carpet under your feet. As you sink into the bed, you realize that it's even more comfortable than it looks, and you can't help but let out a contented sigh.
“P, I’m never moving again,” you say, your voice drifting over to him.
"Ha. You’ll have to.”
“Hmm, why exactly?” you turn over onto your stomach and lean against your elbows to face him.
"Because it's my bed," he simply states, "and I have plenty of plans that don't include you spending the entire trip in my bed."
Bravery takes over, and you give him a playful smirk. "Well, I guess I'll just have to make sure those plans change then."
He chuckles and shakes his head, “Good luck with that, sweetheart.”
You know this is cruel. You were torturing yourself. Being so optimistic was cruel, but because of your longing and deep, hidden desires, you couldn't help but indulge in silly fantasies and play along.
“Alright, I'll go to mine,” you say with a forced smile as you get off the bed, trying to hide the disappointment in your voice. “I need to nap right now, or I'll die.”
“I will, uh, come get you for dinner later.”
“Sure, boss,” you tell him, patting him on the shoulder as you walk past him to leave the room.
“Sweet dreams.”
In the past four days, you've learned many things.
First, Chile was sickeningly beautiful. The vibrant colors of the buildings and the breathtaking scenery of the Andes Mountains made you feel like you were in a dream. It spread out beneath you like a patchwork quilt, with each square representing a different aspect of its culture and history. From the bustling city streets to the serene beaches.
The food was also a highlight, and you're pretty sure you gained a few pounds from indulging in the delicious local cuisine.
“Here, try this one.”
“That's the biggest empanada I've ever seen in my life,” you exclaimed as you took a bite of the savory pastry, filled with juicy meat and vegetables. “This is so fucking good.”
Pedro chuckles. “It's filled with a mixture called Pino.”
“Okay, forget the manjar. This,” you say, mouth full, “is my new favorite thing in this country.”
Pedro gasps. “I thought I was your favorite thing in this country.”
You grin and give him a playful nudge. "Okay, fine. You're still my favorite, but this empanada might take the top spot."
“That's better,” you look up at him, trying not to melt then and there at the signature wide grin spread across Pedro's gorgeous face. “But you know, there's still plenty of time for me to prove that I deserve the top spot.”
You chuckle at his remark, feeling a warmth spread through your chest. "We'll see about that, Pascal," you reply, taking another bite of the delicious empanada and secretly hoping he succeeds in his mission.
•••
Second, Pedro's family were the warmest hosts you could have imagined, eager to share their traditions and stories with you. They accepted you as one of their own and made you feel like a member of the family.
They took you on various adventures throughout the city, showing you hidden gems that only locals knew about. The tradition of taking a trip to a hiking site outside the city whenever all of them got together was in motion and this year it was the Valley of the Moon's turn.
“That hike was so worth it, guys," Nico says, a little out of breath from climbing up the steep trail.
Damn right, it was. As you're standing atop a giant sand dune, you're bewildered by what you're witnessing. The view as the sun slips below the horizon is out of this world. The ring of volcanoes and surreal lunar landscapes of the valley are suddenly suffused with intense purples, pinks, and golds. It's the most beautiful sunset you've ever seen.
You quickly grab the camera that's hanging around your neck and start taking pictures, trying to capture the breathtaking moment before it fades away. “Guys, get together!” you shout, “A family photo with this stunning backdrop is a must.”
As you finish taking the pictures, Pedro's voice breaks the silence, “Javi, grab the camera and take one of us, please.”
You comply and hand the camera to her. Pedro sneaks a hand around your waist and pulls you close, “Smile, princesa.”
“Don't tell me what to do," you playfully retort, leaning into him and smiling for the camera.
•••
And third, Pedro has always had a thing for theatrics. Today, some of you decided to take a trip to the beach. The heat was unbearable, and the cool ocean water sounded like the perfect way to beat it.
He would often come out of the ocean dramatically, splashing water all around and pretending to be a sea monster to scare his nephews. As soon as he saw the waves, he ran towards them and jumped into the water with a loud roar. His nephews laughed and cheered him on as he swam towards them, pretending to be a giant creature ready to attack.
After spending most of the day in the water, you were sitting down on the sand, attempting to make sand castles with one of Pedro's cousins. The sound of waves crashing against the shore was soothing, making you feel relaxed. “My god, he's like a kid,” you tell her, looking at Pedro as he continued to play with his nephews, now closer to the shore.
She laughs. “He's always been like this. As a child, he was always playful and energetic, and he never lost that spirit as he grew up. It's one of the many things we love about him."
The sandcastle you were working on was slowly starting to take shape. Pedro's cousin continued to build it and tell you stories about him, letting nostalgia wash over you.
She told you about his grandfather and how he used to take them to watch double features of old movies, and how that heavily influenced Pedro's love for storytelling and cinema. You didn’t know him then, and you'll never understand why it feels like you did. “But you know, one of my absolute favorite memories is when he recited Hamlet here on the beach with Grandpa."
“Actually, it was Death of a Salesman, cousin.”
His voice startles you as you turn to see him standing behind you, a small smile on his face. "I do remember that day," he continued as he lowered himself onto the sand behind you, legs on each side of your body. He places a hand on your thigh for a brief moment as he settles behind you before removing it.
You want nothing more than to reach out and put his hand back on you, to insist he keep touching you but you don’t.
He starts helping you with the sandcastle, and your breath catches in your throat as you feel his familiar warmth spread through your body. Droplets of water from his hair fall onto your warm skin, and the small elephant tattoo on his right inner thigh catches your eye as he reaches for a shovel, "I was about 14 years old. I videotaped it but lost the fucking camera on the trip back to the States.”
“Damn, I would've loved to see that.”
He chuckles in your ear, sending shivers down your spine. “Maybe I can reenact it for you.”
“Please do.”
•••
Pedro suggested you two go outside and stargaze with a glass of wine after returning from the beach. The evening summer breeze was much cooler than the daytime breeze. You were both sitting on the back porch, leaning back on the cushioned chair, the wooden floor creaking under your weight.
“Want me to open another bottle, princesa?”
“Are you trying to get me drunk, Pedrito?”
You can't help but stare as Pedro throws back his head, a bellowing laugh escaping him into the quiet night air. His eyes crinkle at the corners, and he shakes his head, still chuckling. "No, I just want to make sure you're enjoying yourself. And if that means another bottle of wine, then so be it."
He reaches for your glass, hands touching briefly, and pours you some more. Even in the dark, the blinding white of his smile and the twinkle in those achingly beautiful brown eyes are impossible to miss.
With the moon low in the sky, his silhouette was even clearer to you: the way the bridge of his nose dips into the top of the large glass, the delicate hold of his fingers on the stem, and the mess of his hair.
Cicadas screamed into the night air as the taste of the rich, velvety wine danced on your tongue. Now, slightly tipsy on the red wine, you were nearly too lost in your memory of the moment to notice that Pedro had turned his head from above to look at you. Clearly, your staring had captured his attention, but you went to stare resolutely at the night sky again.
He sobered quickly, but his eyes never left you. You felt the weight of his lingering stare and were thankful that the darkness of the night and warmth of the fire covered your suddenly flushed cheeks. “Excited for Christmas tomorrow?” you ask softly, trying to break the tension with a light-hearted question.
“Yes,” he replied with a small smile, "but I'm more excited that you get to spend it with us."
A warmth filled your chest, and if your cheeks weren't already blushing already, they certainly were now, but you wouldn’t look away from him. The meaning wasn’t lost on you. “Thank you for inviting me, really. I thought I was going to be sad, but you guys have made me feel at home."
Pedro frowns. “What do you mean? About being sad.”
“I kind of hate this season now because it reminds me how lonely I am,” you chuckle, gripping the wine glass slightly tighter. “And don't get me wrong, I love my family and my friends, but after you spend years with someone, Christmas just feels different without them around, you know? It's like...” you trail off, trying to put into words the feeling of emptiness that lingers within you. “Like there's a void that can't be filled no matter how many people are around you. And-and it's not like I miss that person in particular, I just miss having someone.”
His unblinking eyes hadn’t left yours, and you continued, feeling vulnerable but also relieved to finally get that out of your system. “I know it sounds silly, but I think it’s just a reminder that things change. you meet people and you love them, and then you lose them. It's inevitable, and it happens to everyone.”
It falls quiet between you again, the familiarity of the years of friendship meaning you are both comfortable with it. The weight of what you just said still hangs heavy in the air until he nods slowly, breaking the silence. “I get it. I feel the same way somehow,” you tear your eyes away from the constellations above to stare at him quizzically, a raised eyebrow telling him to elaborate.
He huffs out a laugh, as if he's amused by your confusion or embarrassed by his own vulnerability, and continues, “I guess that's one of the reasons why I don't date. I'm saving myself from that.”
“Yeah, I guess now I am too,” you respond, nodding in understanding.
"Also, not to sound like an arrogant asshole—"
“Which you probably will anyway,” you add in a playful tone.
“Ha, ha. Very funny,” he says mockingly. “But my schedule is busy, if I wanna be involved in something, I want to pay attention to it and nurture it. It takes energy to be with someone.”
“It's not arrogant, it's the truth. I was telling Taylor the same thing the other day,” you tell him. “I can't date because I don't have the time to, but...”
“But what?” Pedro interrupts.
“Don't rush me, dude,” you chuckle. “But I'm also human, and I have needs sometimes, and it sucks that I can't just go to a bar like a regular person and sit on the barstool, have a drink, and wait for someone to approach me so we can go to their place and have sex and forget about it the next morning,” you finally admit, staring down at your finger swirling over the rim of your glass.
“No strings attached," he adds, his voice scratchy. “I, um, ha. I wish I could do that too. You're not alone.”
“Hooking up with someone like that in our world would involve lots of NDAs,” you say, laughing.
“Oh yes, very romantic stuff.”
His eyes were doing the thing, the Pedro thing, and you did your best to ignore the way your heart lurched. The moment was charged with tension, and you both knew that there was more to say, and since neither of you dared to break the silence, someone else decided to break it for you, clearing their throat loudly and making you both jump. You turn to see Javiera standing by the door, looking amused and a little bit smug.
"I just wanted to let you guys know the rest of us are going out for dinner, in case you're interested in joining us," she said, her eyes flickering between the two of you. “Uh, no. Thanks, I'm beat. The wine has made me sleepy.”
“I'm gonna have to pass too, sis,” Pedro tells her. “You guys have fun.”
“Yeah, you too,” she says with a sly smile. “We'll be back late!”
After she leaves, you stand up and stretch your arms, feeling the effects of the wine yourself. “Woah. Too much wine,” you chuckle. “I should head to bed now before I regret it in the morning.”
“Me too,” he breathes out as he gets up, collecting his glass and yours. "Goodnight, princesa," he adds with a smile before you head towards the door. “Goodnight, P.”
•••
As soon as you entered your room, you immediately hopped in the shower, hoping to wash away the exhaustion from the day and also the dirty thoughts that had been lurking in your mind.
The warm water cascading down your body helped ease the tension in your muscles, and you let out a contented sigh. After a few minutes, you stepped out and changed into fresh clothes.
As you lie in bed, the conversation you had an hour before with Pedro seems to replay in your mind.
I wish I could do that too. You're not alone.
You promised yourself you wouldn't cross that line again. The last time you took that black, bold line and made it gray, it came with consequences. But you're not known for making the best decisions when it comes to these matters anyway.
You start to feel anxious and restless, unable to quiet your thoughts or fall asleep.
Perhaps a glass of water will help.
As you walk out of the bedroom, everything is dark, meaning everyone is still out for dinner. You have only the soft glow of the city outside the large windows to guide your way.
Hesitating as you walk through the hallway towards the stairs, you slow your steps, not entirely trusting your eyes to keep you from running into anything in the dark, unfamiliar space in such low light. Before you reach the stairs, you notice the light underneath Pedro's room, casting a faint glow onto the hallway carpet.
He's still up, you thought.
Before you even realized what you were doing, you were heading toward his room.
“Pedro?” you call out his name as you gently knock on the door, “You up?”
“Bathroom! Come in!” he screams. You reach the doorknob and push it open. The sound of water running fills your ears as you step inside. You plop down sideways on his bed, legs dangling off the edge, and wait for him to finish his shower. The chilly night air seeps in through the slightly open door of his balcony, making you shiver.
“Can't sleep?” His voice is soft and soothing as he walks out of the bathroom, toweling his hair dry and wearing only black boxers. You avert your gaze, trying to ignore the way just looking at his face, with his golden skin from all the sun exposure, the shadow of dark scruff on his cheeks, and his brown eyes crinkled by a soft smile, makes your heart race.
“Nope,” you mumble. “Too much on my mind, I guess.”
“Enlighten me, please,” he quickly replies, returning to the bathroom. You get off the bed, take a deep breath, and try to compose yourself, but the sight of him in those boxers makes it difficult. You know that if you start talking about what's really on your mind, things might get even more complicated between the two of you.
“Uh...” you huffed out a laugh as the scenario played in your head, your legs almost giving out as you felt your guts twisting. Your mouth fell slightly agape as he stepped back into the room, “What's so funny?” he inquired. You fidget with your fingers and look at him, still chuckling a bit, “That conversation we had earlier. I can't stop thinking about it,"
Pedro leaned against the bathroom door, his face puzzled, reflecting that he had no idea which of the many conversations you two had today you were referring to. “The one about hooking up, I mean. And how you wish you could do that too," you continue, not bothering to try and hide the small beginnings of a smile from Pedro's watchful gaze, entirely more interested in testing the waters than anything else.
“Oh?” is all Pedro gives by way of a reply, not that you mind much since that works just as well as a real answer theoretically could. “Oh," you confirm. This could go either way, but as of right now, you're willing to take the risk.
His gaze is fixed on you, and you go back to lying on the bed, closing your eyes as if you're bracing for the impact of the unknown. “I was wondering if—and I might be making a complete fool of myself by saying this—but what if...” you trail off. "What if we..?” you can't bring yourself to finish the sentence, suddenly realizing that once you say it, you can't take it back.
“Fucked?” he interrupts, and your eyes shoot open, surprised by his bluntness. You sit up on the bed, heart racing as you try to gather the courage to speak. “I mean, we-we know each other, and we're both horny, and we wouldn't have to sign any NDAs,” you joke, trying to lift the weight off the air.
"That's true," Pedro quips quickly, though any hint of eagerness in his reply is tempered by the softness of his voice. You feel the blush that rises in your cheeks at the implication in his words and you look away, seemingly breaking the trance you’ve been in. “Okay.”
“Okay?” you repeat, dumbfounded.
“Would you rather have me say no?” he chuckles, crossing his arms as he leans one shoulder into the doorframe and deciding that for now he’ll stay where he is, knowing he looks like a smug jerk but unable to help himself.
“No!” you tell him, rather eagerly. “I mean, of course you can say no. We don't have to do this if you're not into it,” you add softly.
He says your name and looks into your eyes, "My answer's yes.”
“Okay, but I have some rules,” you get off the bed, body tensed with anticipation. “Of course you do,” Pedro says, arching his eyebrow and giving you a knowing smile.
“No feelings. This can only happen while we're here. Once we go back to our normal lives, this never happened,” you tell him. He nods, taking a slow step forward and then another, and although there’s still a great deal of space between the two of you, you can feel the tension building. "Also, we can't tell anybody about this, not even our closest friends,” you continue.
He's closer now, feeling his breath on your face, and his hands find their way to your waist. "It's our little secret," he whispers, and you grab his shoulders to steady yourself.
“And no nicknames. No princesa, no baby, no love,” you try to sound stern but your voice betrays the excitement you feel.
He grins mischievously, his eyes sparkling with amusement. “But there's no fun in that.”
“Fine. You can call me whatever you want,” you give in, finding his amusement endearing.
“Well, that was easy,” he chuckles, his grin widening. “Are you done with your rules?”
“Yes, I guess so,” you stammered, feeling a bit embarrassed for being so easily swayed by his charm.
“Good,” he says, and you feel a shiver run down your spine as he leans in closer, his breath hot against your ear. “So I can start doing this,” he whispers, his hand sliding down your pajama shorts, sending a wave of goosebumps across your skin. "And this," he adds, as his lips press against your neck.
When you finally make yourself let go and stop fighting for some false sense of restraint for even one second longer, you notice that something changes in the way Pedro touches you, as if he's more confident and sure of himself.
His free hand moves up to hold the back of your head to hold you in place. You do the same, your hands finding their way to his broad shoulders for support. The tip of his finger under your shorts traces over where you’re slick and too ready for him. His mouth is tantalizingly close to yours, brown eyes staring into yours, pining and desperately waiting. “Can I?” he asks.
It's humorous and sweet even that he's asking permission to kiss you when one of his hands is already under your pants. Every rational thought disappears, and you crush your mouth against his.
Everything is slow and heavy, and he never lets his finger slide into you even when you silently beg for it. Just dragging it over and back—too little and too much all at the same time.
He presses the pad of his finger into your clit, and you have to break away from his mouth to groan, overwhelmed, knees wobbly. Pedro laughs quietly and nuzzles against your neck so his beard scruffs.
“Mi princesa,” he whispers against your neck, kissing it softly, “you make such pretty sounds."
There is a real chance you could spontaneously combust into flames just from the sound of his voice and his sweet nothings. He continues to draw circles on your clit making you moan and writhe in pleasure, feeling like you're about to explode with ecstasy. As he whispers more sweet words in your ear, you can't help but surrender to the intense sensations he's giving you.
“Is that good?” he asks, his voice rough, “Does that feel good?”
“Yes," you whisper, a hand traveling to his hair, tugging it tightly. “Yes.”
Just when you're about to come undone, he suddenly stops. Your eyes quickly find his for some explanations as to why he decided to put on hold the very satisfying and impending orgasm that was building up within you. “Oops,” he simply states, a grin plastered on his face.
“I fucking hate you,” you whine, pulling away from him. “I was so close! What you do that for?”
"I have some rules, too."
“Now?” you ask him, clearly frustrated with his antics. “Well, go on.”
“Actually, it's just one,” Pedro says, arching his eyebrows and giving you a knowing smile. His reaction is met by narrowed eyes, like you’re making sure to watch him closely until you figure out where exactly he’s going with this. "You do as I say. Which also means you come when I say."
“Sounds—” you're regaining your footing, regaining control over yourself, trying to reinstate some power, but the way he just said those words has taken away any sense of authority you thought you had. His voice is commanding, with no room for compromise or disobedience. “Sounds dangerous, but... alright.”
“Good girl, now get on the bed,” he says, and the timbre of his voice nearly kills you then and there, the dropping pitch making the words come out rough and serious. Pedro still sounds like himself, since his normal voice is more than enough to make you a little weak at the knees on a regular day, this new variant is a completely different monster.
You lay there, waiting for his next instruction, as the shadows danced on the walls and the sound of his footsteps echoed in the silence. Once he reaches the bed and fists his hands in the sheets on either side of your thighs, bending down until he’s face to face with you, your eyes level with his. You let your hands roam over his broad shoulders and down his torso, feeling his tense muscles relax under your touch.
“I need you now, P,” you mumble, and you move your hand lower to hold him through his boxers. He twitches into you.
“What did I say?” his dark eyes are fixed on you as he reaches for your hand and pins it above your head. "I don't think you fully understand the consequences of disobeying me. We'll do this my way," he whispers menacingly.
This dark side of Pedro is one you've never seen before. The Pedro you know is a sunshine. However, the man on top of you right now is a completely different person, and you're more than the ready to get to know him.
“Keep your hands above your head. No touching."
Your body is aching for him, all willing and open, but he’s sliding down you, pushing your shorts down as he goes. His soft hands trace your thighs and stops at your knees, “Open up for me.”
"So pretty," he says, voice thick. You look down to see his face, pupils blown wide. “Can't wait to taste you, baby.”
You're a wreck. A writhing, moaning, shaking wreck. Shit. You don't even need to be looking at his face to know how arrogant he is right now, not that you could—it's buried deep inside between your thighs. You're desperate to grab his hair just to see where misbehaving will take you, but you settle for the headboard.
He kisses your cunt, messy and hot. A groan rumbles in his throat and he moves his tongue in circles, exploring every inch of your wetness. You arch your back, lost in pleasure, as he continues to devour you with his mouth. When you look down again, his brown eyes are staring back at you as his fingers slide into you, finding the right spot in milliseconds. It's fucking game over.
His pace increases as he pumps his fingers in and out of you, perfectly coordinated with his tongue and his goddamn nose. “Pedro...” you whimper, out of breath. “P-Please let me cum."
“Not yet, baby," he chuckles, fingers continue to expertly tease and stroke your sensitive areas, bringing you closer and closer to the edge of orgasm. "I know you can hold it for a little longer,” you cry out, gripping the bedsheets as you desperately try to move your hips to ride his fingers. Your eyes are watering slightly from how good he’s making you feel.
“You can cum now.”
Every part of your body spasms, and you scream, everything buzzing and vibrating as you tighten around him, bucking and thrashing, pleasure and electricity flooding your body. Removing his fingers, he starts kissing the inside of your thighs, all the way up to your belly and lips. As you try to catch your breath, he whispers in your ear, "That was just the beginning. I want to make you cum again and again."
You can tell Pedro loves the way your face heats up at his words. “Please do,” you tell him, grabbing the waistband of his boxers, and your wandering hands are met by bare, warm skin and the short, neatly cropped hair that grows thicker the further down your fingers dare to venture.
“I know you said you're in charge, but I really need you to take this off,” you say, losing your ability to wait for orders. To your surprise, he complies and gets off the bed, slides down his boxers, just as you get rid of your t-shirt. You can't help but admire the sight of him fully exposed and ready for you, moving to the drawer to pull out a condom, tearing the packet and rolling it onto himself.
“You can take a picture, it'll last longer."
“Don't get cocky.”
Pedro settles between you once again, and you grab his face. His eyes glistened, his hot breath on your skin as he leans in closer. Your thumb brushes against the tiny white scar on his nose. “You've marked me forever,” he chuckles, as he cradles your head and kisses you, his nose brushing against yours.
You grab his length and give him a slow, steady stroke from base to tip, then back down. His mouth leaves yours as his dick twitches in your firm grasp, causing him to groan involuntarily. The pace of your hand up and down his length never picking up or slowing down, instead maintaining the same teasingly slow pace.
“Are you sure?” he whispers softly.
“Yes.”
Pedro guides himself over you, the head of his cock slipping over where you’re open, up to rub on your clit so your fingers dig into his shoulders. His nose nudges gently against yours, “I'll be gentle, princesa.”
“I don't want you gentle. I want you rough.”
“Is that so?”
You moan, eyes closing. You can't even remember how to breathe, let alone speak. Pedro pushes only his head into you, opening you before pulling out, leaving you contracting around nothing. “I'm going to fuck you roughly, and you'll take it like a good girl, won't you?”
“Yes, P,” you rasp, hands sliding across his back. He's playing with you and knows how to make it almost unbearably good. He pushes deeper into you this time, and you can feel your body resist, protesting that he's too big, too much, and he pulls out. He drags his cock over where you're slick and messy before thrusting forward as far as he can. Your nails sink into his broad shoulders, back arching and pushing your stomach into his. "Oh my God.”
“You feel so fucking good, baby. Like you're made for me."
Your legs wrap around his hips, ankles crossing at the bottom of his back, to keep him there, deep inside you. His head drops to your shoulders, pressing his lips to your collarbone. You're close, again.
“Please...” you beg, moaning like you've lost all sanity, his mouth pulls away slightly, his breath hot against your skin. "Please what?" he asks, his voice low and husky.
“More, please, I need more."
The way Pedro's fucking you right now borders on dangerous, making you question lots of things—things you'd rather not think about right now, as he reaches for your hand and places it on your lower stomach. “Feel that?”
You're not sure who moans louder: you when you realize why he's put your hand here, or Pedro when your walls clench involuntarily around his cock at the sensation. Your entire body tightens as you cry out, coming undone once again.
He presses his lips against your forehead and rolls you over, his cock still buried inside you.
“Pedro…that was…” you pant, body on top of his. “Did you come?”
He smirks. “Not yet, because you're gonna ride me now.”
Despite the fact that your body is weak and spent, the simple thought of being on top of him is enough fuel to make you feel a surge of energy. You straddle his hips, feeling his hardness against you, and sinking down on his dick.
“Like this?” you ask as you begin to move your body in sync with his, Your hips swirl and grind down, and Pedro's face is filled with pleasure. “Yes, mi amor. Just like that.”
Every rock of your hips and the way Pedro's pushing into you are the perfect rhythm. His hands grip your hips so tight, you're pretty sure it'll leave bruises for days. You lean down, his mouth close by your ear, as he fucks into you, hearing him whisper things only you get to hear. “you feel so good, baby, taking my cock so fucking well.”
Everything is so overwhelming—your body responding to his every thrust and word. It's a moment of pure ecstasy, and you never want it to end. Collapsing onto his chest, your fingers reach up to grip his hair. The satisfying sound of slapping skin echoes through the room, and you're suddenly glad there's no one in the house.
Pedro slaps your ass as you're still rocking back against his thrust. “You're gonna cum for me again, baby?”
“Yes, yes, yes!” you moaned as your body trembled with pleasure, mouth crashing into his, squeezing him so tight he can't hold back, and you feel him spill into the condom. He curses out your name as he's twitching and spasming inside you.
The post-sex haze settles over you both as you lay there, catching your breath and basking in the afterglow. After a couple of minutes, Pedro finally slips out of you and heads to the bathroom. You manage to get up, body aching. As you gather your clothes from the floor and dress up, he emerges from the bathroom, his face puzzled.
“What are you doing?”
You chuckle, “Leaving.”
Of course you didn't want to leave, but since you agreed this was just sex and nothing more, staying sounds like a dangerous situation.
There's no need to make this situation more complicated than it already is, even if you gaslight yourself into thinking this is fine as long as you're both on the same page.
“No,” he interjects. “Stay.”
“Pedro, we said—"
“I know what we said, but stay. Just for tonight.”
You give him a warning look, and he gives you the same look back. “It'll make me feel dirty if you leave." you burst out laughing, and his face turns red. How's this the same man that just minutes ago was whispering the filthiest things into your ear?
“Okay, I'll stay.”
The next morning, you woke up to an empty bed and no signs of Pedro. If you weren't lying on his bed, legs hurting like you ran a marathon, and your body wrapped in his warm blankets, you would have thought it was all a dream. Because in your dreams is the only place you are together, it's where you come home to him and he comes home to you.
You could still feel his hands moving over your skin, his breath on your neck, and the way he whispered in your ear, making you feel like the most loved person in the world.
Except it wasn't lovemaking; it was just sex.
The warmth of the hot chilean sun spilled through the bedroom window, casting a golden glow on the walls and illuminating the dust particles that danced in the air. The distant sound of soft music and laughter from downstairs made you smile as you sat up against the headboard.
The sound of the door opening interrupted your thoughts, and you looked up to see Pedro wearing the coziest looking sweater, his dark hair all over the place, and presumably a cup of coffee in his hand. “Good morning, solecito,” he says sitting down next to you. "I made you a cup of coffee, just the way you like it."
You take the cup from his hand, fingers touching. “It can't possibly still be morning,” you rasp, voice still hoarse.
“No, it's not," he tells you. “It's 2:30pm.”
The fear in your face is palpable. “Fuck, did I miss the gift exchange?” you blurt out.
Pedro's pursed lips and guilty expression made it clear that you, in fact, missed the happiest time of the day. “No...” you dragged out, “Why didn't you wake me up?!” you demanded, hitting him on the shoulder.
“I didn't want to disturb your sleep, you looked so peaceful," he replied with a sheepish grin. "But if it makes you feel better, everyone loved what you got them."
You groan in response. “I hate you so much.”
“Are you always this mean when you wake up?"
You shrug, bringing the cup to your lips. “Eh, only when I have to deal with people who make me miss the fun part of Christmas."
“Let's talk about how my dad got the better gift, by the way,” he tells you, moving his hands energetically. “And how I'm definitely not jealous at all.”
“I had to impress him, and you can never go wrong with a Rolex,” you remark with a grin. “Plus, you deserve it after doing the most evil thing you could do to me.”
“You mean caring for your wellbeing and letting you rest after the very... eventful night you had?” he says teasingly. “Shut up,” you reply, grabbing a pillow and throwing it at him. In true Pedro fashion, he dramatically dodges the pillow and grins slyly, "You can't silence me that easily."
“I have other ways,” you quickly reply.
Oh, how you love to play with fire.
Pedro raises an eyebrow and chuckles, “Is that so?”
You hum. The tension is palpable in the air as you look into his eyes, trying to read his face. You wonder if he can hear the rapid beating of your heart.
“Wanna see what I got you?” he asked, breaking the silence that had settled, his eyes still on you.
“Dying to,” you say, pretending not to notice how he changed the subject, setting the coffee mug on the nightstand, “but first I need to shower before I go downstairs.”
“No need,” he reaches for his front pocket, pulling out a small wrapped package. You eagerly take it from him, eyes lighting up with excitement.
“Espero que te guste.”
Tearing the paper off and opening the black box, you find a beautiful necklace with a delicate gold chain and a small emerald pendant. “Now I feel like an asshole,” you say, immediately regretting getting him a bunch of funny socks. Your eyes are still fixed on the necklace.
Pedro laughs, your favorite sound in the world, “Hey, I love my socks. You didn't have to get me so many though,”
“I didn't know which ones you'd like better, so I got you a bunch of ‘em,” you say, a hint of embarrassment in your voice. “This is so beautiful,"
“It's your favorite gemstone," he says softly, as if it's the most obvious thing in the world. Your eyes meet his, and for a split second, everything is okay.
You rush forward to embrace him, catching him off guard by the way he chuckles and says oh. He wraps his arms tightly around you, and you nuzzle into his neck, feeling the soft fabric of his sweater and the familiar scent of his cologne. “Thanks so much, P,” you say, voice drowning on his skin.
“Merry Christmas, mi amor."
No strings attached, spontaneous, fun, and only while you're here. That's what you and Pedro agreed upon when you decided to have sex five nights ago. But the way he has you pinned against the shower wall and making your legs tremble with pleasure right now has you thinking of a way to make him not want to do this with anyone else.
The slick, wet sounds of Pedro's fingers pumping in and out of you filled the bathroom as you moaned in bliss. “Can you be a good girl for me and be quiet?” his nose brushes against yours, “We don't want them to hear us, do we?”
You shake your head, blown away, feeling suffocated, as he drags two fingers over your swollen clit. Your jaw sags as the pleasure floods your body as he applies more pressure to it, causing you to grumble in pleasure. As two fingers slide into you, deliciously stretching you, he covers your mouth with his, absorbing your satisfied moan.
He pulled his mouth away from yours, and the water slipped through his hair, dampening it and sticking it back on his forehead. "Open your mouth," he says, a glint in his eyes as you look at him, bewildered. He presses two fingers against your tongue and the sweet-salty taste fills your mouth as you suck on his fingers. “See how fucking good you taste.”
You hum, wrapping your arms around his neck, “I need to feel you inside me."
Pedro lets his hand wander around your hips and slowly drags it down, lifting your leg and securing it around his hip. He took the space between your thighs, aligned himself with your entrance, and pushed in, giving you a split second to adjust before pulling out and thrusting back in.
He was moving faster, and you felt like a ragdoll in his arms, so euphoric from your high that he could do whatever the fuck he wanted to you and you'd gladly accept it.
“F-faster, please,”
You've had sex in a variety of positions over the last few days, but there was something about this position and the access it provided that you found incredibly satisfying. His wet, solid chest pressed against yours, his hand tight against your thigh as he buried himself deep within you.
Pedro let out a low groan, one you were all too familiar with by this point, indicating that he was about to finish. His hips trembled and he let out a final grunt, his breaths ragged and heavy as he came inside of you, mouths meeting in a kiss.
The two of you stood there, still in that proximity for a moment, full of love and softness because above all else, he was your best friend.
“Can I wash your hair?”
“Only if you let me wash yours after,” he replies, reaching for the shampoo bottle.
“Deal.”
Since they had a low-key Christmas consisting mainly of hot chocolate, fuzzy sweaters and movies, the family decided to plan a big New Year's Eve celebration to make up for it. Which prompted you to take a quick trip to the city yesterday in search of a dress because you hadn't packed anything fancy.
Pedro insisted that you didn't have to stress over that, to which you obviously objected.
“Sorry, but I'm not taking fashion advice from someone who has like three t-shirts and a pair of jeans,” you said, scrolling through your phone in search of stores. “You wound me, baby,” he replied, putting a hand on his chest in mock pain. “But if you insist on shopping, let me take you.”
“No, you still have to help Javi with the party,” you said, getting up from the the couch. “I'll drive there, and I'll take Pedro and Bruno with me.”
Pedro looked at you slowly, processing your statement, looking uncertain.
“Google Maps is a thing, and we'll be fine. Now give me your keys.”
“I like it when you're bossy,” he said, his voice lowering with a hint of a smile. “They're on the counter."
And thanks to the heavens, you decided to make an effort and find something suitable for the occasion because they went all out.
The bass pounded through the walls as the guests danced and laughed, enjoying the party. The colorful decorations and delicious food made it a night to remember.
“Oh my god, they're gone,” Javiera groans, referring to the tray of now empty lemon bars that were apparently the highlight of the dessert table. “I wanted another one!”
“I made another batch, I hid them in the oven,” you quickly tell her, feeling a little proud of yourself over the fact that people were enjoying what you made. “I'll go get them.”
“I will come with you.”
Once you both reach the empty kitchen, you go straight to the oven, pulling out the tray of lemon bars and setting it on the kitchen island.
“Thank you for taking Pedro and Bruno out yesterday, by the way."
"I had so fun much with them. They're great boys and even better fashion advisers,” you tell her, gesturing to your burgundy dress.
“Glad to know I've taught them well,” she says laughing.
As you cut the bars into perfect squares, Javiera grabs one and takes a bite, savoring the tangy sweetness. "These are amazing, you should consider selling them," she exclaims, closing her eyes in content.
You smile. “In another lifetime, I own a bakery in a small town with a living unit attached to the top. I have a beautiful green kitchen, and I don't feel the need to prove myself to people."
Javiera gives you a warm smile as you grab the powdered sugar. “You know,” she says reluctantly. “I see things and I feel things,” you stop what you're doing to look up at her, confused. “My brother's just scared.”
Confusion is quickly replaced with clarity as you realize where she's going with this. You open your mouth to say something, but she shuts you down. “He's created this wall to protect himself, he's been through a lot, and he has convinced himself that this is enough, that he doesn't need more, but I know better.”
A sigh leaves your lips, all of those feelings bubble up until you can't get a good breath, until you’re drowning. She continues, “I have seen you two together, friends don't look at each other like that."
You know that she's right, but things aren't so simple. Not when it comes to this.
“Maybe in another lifetime," is all you tell her, grabbing the lemon bars and heading out of the kitchen.
•••
The backyard is a wonderland of string lights and bunting, the air is filled with the sound of laughter and music as people dance under the stars. You were lost in conversation with Pedro's father. He shared more stories of his youth, what got him to pursue medicine, and how he met Pedro's late mother, leaving you feeling nostalgic for a time you never knew.
He catches you looking away, follows your gaze straight to Pedro, and smiles knowingly. “I hope you have a good flight tomorrow.”
“Thank you,” you say, blushing a little at your own transparency. “Thank you for everything, really.”
“We hope you come back soon, It was a pleasure to have you,” he tells you, placing a hand on your shoulder, reassuring you. He walks off, pausing for a moment to talk to Pedro. Smiles were exchanged, and then he continued his way.
Pedro looks exceptionally good tonight. Hair perfectly styled, white shirt perfectly stretching over his back. You drink up his movements as he approaches you, a smile plastered on his face.
“Who did your hair?” you ask him, knowing damn well this was someone else's doing because he didn't know how to do it. “My sister,” he replied, chuckling.
“She's doing the Lord's work,” you tell him, folding your arms, feeling exposed by the way he's staring. It's comical that you feel this way, as if he hasn't seen you naked for the past week.
“I'm gonna have to hire someone to do my hair at all times if you like it this much.”
“I like it either way,” you admitted, "but I just think it looks extra good when it's styled like this."
His mouth splits into quite possibly your favorite of his various smiles, the one that makes it look like there's a secret tucked up in one corner of his mouth. “Dance with me?”
“Always.”
You take his hand and pull him to the deck, beneath the twinkling lights and away from the crowd, while the Bee Gees' “How Deep Is Your Love” plays like the universe just wants to mock you. Pedro folds your hand up in his warm palm, and you rest your cheek against his shoulder, closing your eyes to focus on how this feels.
It feels right, it feels perfect, and it feels like it's gonna end.
He nestles his mouth into your hair and breathes you in as you sway. His sister's words ring in your ear once again: My brother's just afraid.
You allow yourself to imagine this feeling lasting. A world within a world just for you and Pedro, where people just let you both be. Where you belong to each other. And then you invite reality forward to change the story.
You're working all day, taking endless flights to different locations, because you're trapped in a cycle of wanting to do more and never feeling like it's enough. Pedro exhausted from long days of shooting, press, taking endless flights, and getting pulled down by gravity.
Unaswered texts. Missed calls. Grief. Hurt. Distance. Missing each other. Fighting. Falling apart.
And you realize you're afraid too and this can never be.
“Pedro.”
There's a lengthy silence. His voice is a raspy, growly mutter. “I know. But don't say it.”
You don't look at each other. You just need to hold on to each other because if you look, you'll see that this make-believe game is over. You both feel the warmth of each other's embrace and the unspoken words between you. The silence is comforting yet suffocating.
His arms squeezed around you as everyone started to countdown. Cheers filled the air. Fireworks broke out over the sky in a thousand different colors. He tells you happy new year, and you say it back, never letting go.
Even though you never said it to each other, you both knew. The love was there, and it didn't change anything.
Maybe in the future, maybe in another lifetime.
Reblog or like if you enjoyed it, thank you for reading :) (i know this ending feels like this is it for them HOWEVER i will be making several other parts because i can't stop writing about this lol)
#love is complicated fic#pedro pascal x reader#pedro pascal imagine#pedro pascal x you#pedro pascal fanfiction#pedro pascal smut#pedro pascal fluff#pedro pascal angst#pedro pascal fic#my writing
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The Wait
A General Marcus Acacius Fic
Day 22 of Pedrotober (Prompt Gladiator)
Masterlist
This was meant to be short… I was gonna it & then I was like no… I want to know more myself & as I am my own audience I kept going, so behold of our Roman Hero getting his day in the sun.
Synopsis:- You go to the Roman Baths everyday to look at the clientele, despite being promised to a man.
Word count:-2700
Warnings over & above:- age gap, loss of virginity, Marcus is naked throughout, all types of sexual intercourse, sweat, withdrawal, breeding, arranged marriage, ogling at naked men. This is in Rome back in the day so the rules are different ages of consent are not what they are today. Swearing.
Yea that was fun to write, hope it was a much fun to read. Thanks @alyssamariag & @norththelemon for the prompt list. I’m amazed I’m still going.
“He won’t be here” you say as you & 2 of your ladies in waiting enter the prestigious Roman Baths. “& we can only sit here & look we are not allowed in, unless a man invites us”
“What if you say no” Victoria said. She’s always concerned for your welfare.
“Then it would be a shame on my family’s name, but I think my father would be more disappointed if he knew I was here watching all of these men.” Everyone in power or promise comes to these baths. You visit it shortly after your time of the month, knowing that should a man catch your eye, you would not be with child. You are betroved & come your birthday In 3 moons time you will be a man’s wife, by this time next year you will probably have produced an heir for who ever it is who is promised your hand. Your dream is that it is one of these generals, knights, or senators in these baths that will be your partner until they are sent off to war to die, put in an arena to fight or be poisoned or hanged due to their lust for power. But that’s the way of Rome.
Elderly men walk past & do not catch you or your ladies eyes, so many men are genuinely here for baths & nothing else but while you’ve been sat here for 30 minutes you’ve seen two ladies taken away, one discreet area around the corner with filled with moans.
“Yea this is a waste of time today ladies,” You sigh “let’s…” but then in the corner of your eye you see luscious locks dripping wet come out of the water, from a side profile of a man with a very large nose & defined features. He’s here. The general. You blush bright red & start to fan yourself. You can see his broad shoulders also poke out of the water.
This is General Marcus Acacius. He just, from what you can see, looks magnificent.
“My lady are you okay?” You don’t realise your jaw has dropped so dramatically open as you watch him, eyes draw to him like a hawk to a mouse. But he’s no mouse, he is a brave general. So many victories for Rome, & its subjects. You eventually snap out of it.
“Sorry did you say something”
Your ladies giggle as you try to not look. But it’s too much. Your eyes just constantly wander back to him. He’s just stunning. Each stroke he swims in the bath wonderful.
But then he swims to the other side of the bath & places his hands on the side. Out he gets. Soaking wet, completely naked. Water drops from his wavy hair. His strong back as scars from war traced across them. But it his arse. What a glorious rounded juicy peach it is. You moan a bit to loudly & a few people look at you & you instantly raise your fan to your face, to stop your embarrassment. Your eyes however betray you, still ogling over him from a distance.
Now out of the water he stands side on. Your ladies giggle, but you just look at that long length. You’ve seen men in these baths walk around naked. The first time you saw a penis up close was a surprise. But right now is the only other time you’ve felt self conscious & intrigued. It hangs, his balls are heavy. It’s semi hard. It’s long, ooh god it’s long. Longer than any other man you have glanced your eyes upon. How would anyone be able to accommodate it? It would split the lucky woman in half.
You feel your own pelvis, it’s moving on its own, your legs slowly parting. Your body is telling you that you are ready, that this is the prize. You just hope the general is in the mood for you. You can always tell whoever you are betroved to that you have ridden horses & that’s why there feels like you’ve been deflowered. Everyone knows that happens to some ladies & you are often seen on horseback, your father was instant that you had it as a life skill.
You mind is wondering as you day dream, that you don’t realise the general has noticed you gawping. He’s smirking & the takes some water from the pool & runs it’s through his hair, a wet look, even though the rest of him is drenched. He doesnt find a robe, or cover his manhood. Everyone in here is free to be who they want so he slowly saunters over & it’s only as he’s about 3 meters away that you ladies giggle.
“Miss, miss” they shriek & put their fans up over their faces trying not to look. Your past shame.
“My lady” Marcus bows & you smirk & lower your fan. How will that penis fit anyone, it’s wide too. Your splutter & then eventually lift you head from his privates up his hairy torso, to those broad shoulders, that long blemished filled neck, which is so ready to be kissed & to that stunning godly face. A few scars & cuts, but such astounding facial hair, the cuffs match if you knew what I mean. But it’s his eyes. So big & bright. So sexy. Your legs part again, you feel something inside you grow, a wanting of pleasure.
“General Acacius” you smile.
“It’s Marcus, please” & he holds out his hand & winks. “Please my lady”
“No miss”
“Shhh” you take his hand & he holds you close to him. Your thin white dress dampening from touching his skin, skin that’s been hardened by war but also feels like cloud to touch. Soft & sensitive.
“This way” & he points to a door. No one has been through that door yet who’s been chosen to pleasure anyone in these baths.
“But miss”
“You say a word to anyone…” you threaten your ladies. They go quiet.”Now return, im sure the general will be a gentleman” & you wrap your arm around him & he leads you out the door.
“I can assure you miss” he whispers “i will look after you”
The room he leads you to, has a bed, not as Fancy as yours at home, but it’s still silk, & white & virginal like you are. He closes the door behind you & stand to attention still completely naked. Part of your dress from his damp skin his gone see through.
“Undress” Marcus requests. You are shy at first, but your slowly disrobe, once naked your hands cover your mound. You like him have hair on your privates. You had planned for your wedding night to be clean shaven, to be taken & filled for the first time. The general walks towards you. You gasp as he circles you & his long delicate finger trace over your skin.
“You like this?” You nod as one hand cups your breast. “You like being admired?”
“Yes”
“You like my touch” his hand trials down your body heading for your sex “you want passion” he moves your hand but you grab him before he can touch your clit.
“General please, I’m betroved” you blurt out & his eyes widen.
“I know, but we all want to know why you come to the baths? To breed off your ladies in waiting?” You let go of your hand as the first kiss reaches the crook of your neck, his voice smooth like butter. Your legs part. “Do you watch them to get tips for your future husband”
“No” you bluntly say, & then moan as his fingers enter your pubic hair.
“Have you been taken then”
“N… no” you stutter, your body shaking.
“Shhh shhh shhh it’s okay” he whispers. “No need to tremble, I want pleasure you unless you don’t want me too”
“Why?” You say & his hand freezes, once again he’s so close to your clit.
“Because all is fair in love & war & if you just want to know what will make your future lover happy & what to expect, I can help out with that”
“How?” You then gasp. His large flat thumb has made contact with your most sensitive area, your clit being rubbed, makes your knees buckle & he grabs you to stop you falling.
“Because I am the man who in 3 moon you will be matched with.” It’s a dark sultry voice. You lift your head, you turn your head to face him & thrust your hand into his wet hair.
“Oooh yes” you moan. Your lips then clash with his, you let his tongue take you, you let him feast upon the kiss. His thumb strumming away as you make out & he pleasures you.
“How long have you know you’ve been promised to me!” He asks before he scoops you up & carrys you to the bed.
“2 years 3 month 1 week & 4 days.” You say as you are plonked on the bed, your knees raised to start with.
“Oddly specific”
“You came back from battle, the scar on your left shoulder my father healed, & when you saw me run passed I heard my father say she’s almost a woman, you can have her soon” he smirks & lowers your knees, your legs part, he licks his lips at the arousal he sees wanting to do nothing more than sink into you & fuck you all afternoon until the baths empty & then let you sore body soak in the warm water before taking you again.
“You did seem bashful that day, even through my pain I noticed.”
“It’s not often a girl gets lucky”
He caresses your face before tenderly kissing you.
“I wasn’t even a general when I was told I would be marrying you, & here we are fate has brought us together sooner” he kisses down your chin & neck before then sucking on your nipples, you moan deeply your hips pushing up into him. You feel his penis harden & he grunts & sits up.
“I’m not like the other heathens, I can wait the three moon” he says as he looks at your trembling body, how your already panting.
“You’d, you’d do that?” You seem shocked. Most men especially in power & the army get what hey want. “For me”
“Yes beautiful l” he caresses your face “even if it got to our wedding night & you didn’t wish to consummate I wouldn’t” your face lights up.
“You really are a gentleman” you state, & kiss him & your body flexes towards him again, his hand is stroking his length.
“So shall we wait” his voice is hoarse, he’s trying to hold it all in.
“I’ve wanted you general for a very long time, but how is this even going to work”
“Ahhh”’he giggles & spreads you legs even wider “don’t worry darling, you grow to” your eyes pop out of your head. He was a shower but he was also a grower.
“Be gentle” you mumble & nod.
“I will & I promise not to cum inside you” he is between your legs, swiping his penis across your clit & your sex. Your entrance about to be filled. You are about to be deflowered by the man you are betroved too.
“This might pinch, try to relax” you nod & lie back. You’re just enjoying the teasing pleasure of him swiping across everything that’s so sensitive. & then you feel it. The breach. He’s only a tiny bit in, but you feel pleasure you’ve never experienced before. You grab onto the bedding & scream.
“Holy fuck” he looks startled as he sighs as he feels you squeeze him.
“You okay” you nod & go mmmhhhmm “if it’s too much ill stop”
“NO Marcus!” You shout”keep going”
“Yes my lady” he then lies on top of you & as he ever so slowly inches his way fully into you, he watches the pleasure on your face. He has taken his fair share of flowers in his time, but none quite like you. The innocence draining from you, the little moans of yes coming from your plump red lips. The feel of your goosebumps. This is truly different to all the girls he’s had before.
“Fuck Marcus” you moan as he starts to slowly rock. He groans as you clamp around him squeezing his penis tightly.
“Jesus” he snarls”fuck baby, you’re so tight” he looks down seeing the mess you’ve already made, your virginity broken. “No going back now your all mine”
“Marcus what should I…”
“Shhh shhh” he says putting his lips on yours. “Tonight is your first Lesson is lust, let me ease you in, just enjoy it.” He then after a few more larger stroke jolts his hip. That special spot has been hit, reverberating around your whole body.
“Yes oooh yes yes yes” you moan grabbing more of the silk bedding.
“You like that beautiful” you nod & he thrusts hard again. “Good cos now I know you like this, on our wedding night this will be all you fucking get” he’s now much larger hovering above you his hips in a rhythm as he plunders you. Your own hand that’s not grabbing onto bedding, is caressing your hard nipples. He’s watching your perfect breasts jiggle as he goes harder. His eyes which are always brown even darker.
“Fuck oooh fuck fuck fuck” his rhythm becoming uneven. He quickly with draws his cock from your virgina & strokes it furiously. His seed spilling out over his hand & over your thighs, his eyes close in pleasure. “Oooh yes sexy” he the Burys his head between your thighs licking a strip across your enterance before furiously shoving 3 fingers inside you. “Come on my lady let got” you don’t need to much encouragement. You’ve had self pleasure before but the way this orgasm hits you from the feel of his cock to now his fat fingers finishing you off, it’s another level. He watches in delight. “Oooh this is going to be fun”…
3 moons later you are wed, to Marcus. You’ve had sex every single time you have seen him. Some assumed you had already been wed. As you lie on the bed on your martial night he’s deep inside you. Taking you from behind. Your arse with red marks on it from earlier spankings. Your face with sticky cum on it after he had face fucked you & said swallowing would happen next time so he gave you a facial. But right now is the moment you are looking forward to.
Your arse bouncing, you voice screaming in delight as another high hits you.
“Still so fucking good this cunt, so tight so ready” he growl. You can tell by the tightness of his grip he’s not got long to last. You grab the bedding & whimper.
“Fuck baby more more more”
“I don’t think I can” he’s straining his voice. He goes out of habit to pull out his cock you can tell that’s gonna happen.
“No cum inside, im your wife, you can impregnate me, it’s not a shame now”
“Huh?” He then realised he can & he doesn’t fully withdraw & slams back in.”what if I don’t want our baby growing in you yet”
“Marcus please I want to feel how good it is”
“Fuck baby I love it when you beg” one last slap of your arse has you clamping around him squeezing out your climax & that’s all it takes. The sensation shocks you, feeling his essence. Knowing he’s just emptied inside you. You bite the pillow next to your head as he moans your name as he comes down, slowly withdrawing his cock. Seeing how sore you are from all the sex you had not just had that night but in the previous weeks, seeing his cum drip down your thighs. He smirks he made that mess. He pulls you into his lap & kisses you deeply, that thumb going back to your clit, no pubic hair down there today as you had promised. You moan as you are over stimulated.
“You okay my lady?” You nod.
“You okay too husband?”
“More than okay” he whispers before kissing your forehead. “& to think 3 moons ago all I was to you was someone you were ogling at that Roman bath” he chuckles.
“Hmmm ahh so naive”
“So innocent” you smile at that remark & start to stroke his cock getting it erected again.
“Well not anymore”
#pedrotober2024#pedrotober#pedro pascal#fanfic#my fics#smutt#no minors#pedro pascal characters#pedro pascal cinematic universe#over18#pedro pascal fanfiction#pedro pascal character fanfiction#pedro pascal fandom#pedro pascal fan fic#pedro pascal fic#pedro pascal smut#pedro pascal universe#marcus acacius#marcus acacius fic#marcus acacius fanfiction#marcus acacias x reader#marcus acacius smut
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HxH Genei Ryodan is such a masterclass in humanizing villains, honestly to a ridiculous degree. They're legitimately terrifying, their crimes are cruel and inexcusable, the violent acts they commit are nearly always played seriously and condemned by the narrative, and yet I find myself rooting for them in every scene they're in.
It's not even the sad backstories some of them have, it's much deeper than that. I think I'm just fascinated with the intricate and peculiar friendship they all share. It's easier to get attached to comedy rather than drama, as a rule of thumb, and they're just endlessly funny.
I've been searching for examples of the interactions that stuck with me and was going to include screenshots but there are just way too many things. Like, okay, in no particular order:
Shizuku wearing Phinks' coat after her sweater gets torn in a fight.
Phinks tucking Kalluto under his arm like a chicken and carrying him out of an exploding building.
Nobunaga getting trapped in a pocket dimension and everybody agreeing that he should just stay there awhile because they've just taken a hostage and now there isn't enough space in the car.
Machi and Nobunaga hanging out like normal people, drinking beer and serving cunt effortlessly in stylistically matching outfits.
Kuroro getting a prediction that "the spider will lose half of its legs" and immediately going "nope not losing any of my men out there let's pack it"
Hisoka actually fucking saying "I can't tell you that. If I told you that, I would be telling you what I can't tell you. This is why I can't tell you that. That's all I can tell you." and they believed him. Maybe it's more normal with English subs, I dunno.
Everyone playing cards while Uvogin is fighting, all while talking about how good Uvogin is at fighting.
Uvogin giving Shalnark a little kissie. I don't even ship them, I think he just kisses all of his homies like a real man.
Franklin getting sent after a crate of beer. Like, that's just so funny to me. Errand boy.
Feitan and Shalnark calling Phinks "very feminine" and giggling.
Franklin and Nobunaga just fucking going at it, sword on gun violence, for no reason whatsoever. It seemed like they were having fun.
Nobunaga asking rhetorically how strong he is compared to the rest of the gang and them replying "7th or 8th idk" you fucking know they debated this.
Uvogin getting his dumb sexy ass captured and everyone showing up for him awww
Everyone being supportive of Shizuku being fucking stupid. Not even in a sweet way or anything, just kind of acknowledging that she has zero thoughts in her brain. "Shizuku why didn't you use your left hand" because she was spinning a vacuum cleaner in her mind, what's not clicking
Dunno what they call Kurapika in the English version but in the Russian subs they all collectively only ever refer to him as "ублюдок с цепями" or "the asshole with the chains".
Nobunaga immediately inviting two twelve-year-olds to join because he thinks they're hilarious, and everyone going "yeah okay as long as the boss is cool with it". You go Nobunaga, everybody grieves differently
The kids refuse and escape, go spying on the other members again, get caught again, and when Nobunaga sees them he's all "Wanna be friends now? ^^" <- nobody has anything against this
Feitan having his arm broken in a fight and Phinks going "HA!"
Literally every single time they toss a coin, but especially when Phinks and Bonolenov were arguing over who should fight Zazan if Feitan fucking dies???
Shalnark being a fucking gamer and inviting everyone else to speedrun Greed Island with him. Franklin going "no thanks" next shot he's in the goddamn game
Tossing the phone around. Can't remember whose phone it originally was but passing it around was hilarious every time. "We already killed the hostages" beep beep beep "Sorry I lied"
There are so many moments and I'm not even halfway done. Supreme quality villains. I need more of them. I need to inject them directly into my brain.
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Pretty like the wind
Previous chapter / Next chapter
a/n Part six! Right, who thought we would see each other here? In all honesty... I'm just so freaking excited because you all seem to enjoy this series. ✨🤍 Thank you for reading!🤍🫧
warning: lots of past trauma, Illyrian camp kind of trauma, anxiety, kids because some of you said it was a warning, same old things.
•••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••
You were struggling to grasp the world around you. Trying to figure out where someone as small and meaningless could slot it. Crack through the broken pieces and allow the roots to form. You hated yourself for it. Hated the feeling that surrounded you. And for the very first time, you found yourself agreeing with every rule that Padme had set in this place. Hating yourself because you opened yourself to the inevitable. Made yourself believe and see things that weren't there. Hated it even more because, in the mix of all of this, you managed to lose the hold of your heart that had been safely locked away.
"Y/N", you blinked a couple of times. Being met with an eager hand flailing right in your face, "Mhm", you muttered. "You weren't listening to me...", Axel fell back on the mattress dramatically. You had slipped back into your room after that balcony fiasco. You couldn't. Simply couldn't look at Azriel now. And what were you thinking? Saying things like that. Kiss me...
You cleared your throat, "I was. I was. The purple looks nice", you nodded. Axel tilted his head to the side, "We figured that an hour ago", the boy frowned. "Ah", you exclaimed. What was he talking about? You had been so lost in your head that you had lost the line of his babbling somewhere along the sugar tree canes. Zofie crawled onto your lap. She was an empathetic child, managing to sense even the smallest dents in others' moods. Her questioning was silent; just her eyes managed to pierce right through you. But you kept your head high, a smile plastered on your lips. A fake one, yet it was better than a wobbling lip. You were about to ask Axel about the Candyland dream when the boy sighed, "You're no fun. Azriel actually listens".
You bite your cheek at that. Your whole body seemed to shut down at the mention of him. But it was infectious. The moment your body realized the familiar sound of his name, it seemed to burst with all the different sensations on its own. "That's rude, Axel; apologize", Zofie bit back, arms crossed over her chest. Her fiery gaze was enough to make Axel's shoulders droop. "I didn't mean it like that," the boy said, moving an inch closer to you. "I know, sweet boy, I'm not mad", you brushed your hands through his messy hair. Letting him snuggle into your side.
And nothing had ever felt more right than having them both wrapped up in your hands. They might not be yours, but you loved them as if they were a part of you. No big gestures were needed. You had found one another and clung to each other ever since. And Mother knows you had taken orphans from camps before. But these two were special. Special beyond anything else. The thought of someone taking them away The thought of having to let go of them so they would have a chance to be a part of a normal family...
"No", Zofie muttered, her tiny fingers paddling at your cheeks. Axel's big brown eyes looked right at you. "I'm okay, I'm sorry", you tried to smile at them. You were always great at hiding your pain and fears from them. But with so many things going on, so many things slipping through your fingers. You had lost the grasp of your shields completely. "You're lying", Axel stated quietly, and all you could do was cup his face. Zofie sent him a worried look. And even if she could power through others' pain, your sadness left her feeling hopeless. So Axel did the only thing that felt right to him in that moment.
"I don't see the necessity to rush", Azriel was talking to a swirling image of Rhys that flouted in his room. But not before he had called his brother a dramatic ass for showing up most extravagantly. "I'd send Cassian, but you and I both know how that ended the last time", Rhys huffed, and quite frankly, Azriel didn't want to recall the time Cassian had way too much fun in Summer. Yes, he was undeniably an amazing warrior, but dang, there was a child in that grown body that seemed to take over his judgment at times. "So, what? You're unlocking my cell door so easily?", Azriel shook his head. Rhys sighed. "You can hate me all you want. But you and I both know you needed to get away from Velaris", Rhys said calmly. Azriel wasn't an idiot; he knew his previous appearances were to monitor him. And even now, there was that inkling of hope in his brother's eyes. Looking for a change, trying to see if Elain was still something Azriel wanted to pursue.
"Look, I need to make sure...", Azriel stated right as his bedroom door burst open and in fell Axel. Yet the boy quickly picked himself up. Just his attention instantly got snagged by Rhys. "Wow, a flouting head... cool", he mussed. Azriel frowned slightly. "Axel, bud, what's going on?", he asked in a softer tone. "Oh, amm...", the boy's gaze darted between the two males. "It's okay. Look at me", the spymaster turned his full attention to the youngling.
And yet, no matter what Azriel was expecting, didn't prepare him for the world that left Axel's lips: "Am... Y/N is not feeling well". And it's as if Azriel's body reacted on its own. The male practically leaped out of his chair, moving to reach for the boy, "What do you mean? Did something happen?". And deep down, from the bitter taste alone, he knew that it was his doing. The conversation on the balcony was so unfair and stupid. He shouldn't have mentioned Rhys like that. Because that wasn't the case at the time. The boy shrugged his shoulders. "Just... come", Axel pleaded, moving to grab Azriel's palm and giving it a little nervous squeeze. And of course, he moved to walk right after the boy. "Yeah, I'll hang here", Rhys muttered, an amused smile on his face, but Azriel only called over his shoulder, "Shut it, Rhys".
Was Azriel worried? Yes. Ever since he saw you practically ran away from him. He was convinced that he had heard your heart-shattering, Azriel saw it in your eyes. That final undoing. That final decline. That was the final straw. Was he once again being selfish? Yes. Because he was mortified. He didn't want to go back; that alone scared him. But then he thought... What if he didn't manage to hold back? What if he wasn't yet all over it? What if he slipped up, and you all got hurt in the process?
Axel gripped his arms firmly and said, "And you will talk, and you will make it better like you always do", only now did Azriel realize that the boy was talking. Myst has been talking the whole way up the stairs. His breathing was uneven. "Hey, hey, slow down", Azriel tugged lightly, but Axel didn't give in. "This is urgent", "I hear you, but you need to slow down", Azriel stated calmly, and Axel finally stilled. His wings were always slouchy, but now they were practically dragging on the floor. The flicker of protectiveness flickered in Spymaster's chest.
"What if they are finally sending us away?", Axel's words were barely a whisper, but they knocked practically all the air out of Azriel's lungs. "What?", was all the male managed to mutter. Axel's eyes were big as if he was not supposed to say anything, as if this was meant to stay a secret. "Y/N has been getting in trouble for keeping us", he sighed after a while, his eyes darting to the floor. Azriel quickly hooked his finger under the boy's chin, "Hold up, Axel, look at me. Like soldier to soldier".
He was sure that he was not supposed to have this conversation with a kid, but... This was a serious thing. They can't be taken away from you. "She's not considered fit to be our caretaker", Axel said, eyes filling up with tears. "She's a summoner or something. She does this thing", the boy waved his tiny hands around, and Azriel just watched him, "And it's easier for them", Axel ended with a sigh. Them. Them? The sanctuary? That rusty lady? Azriel gritted his teeth, reassuringly squeezing Axel's shoulder.
When he stepped into the room you three shared, he was convinced that jumping off this mountain and falling to his death was less painful. Zofie was seated right by your side, her tiny fingers brushing against your cheek every time a new tear fell. You just seemed so small. So broken. Mother above... Azriel had wondered about the kids, but what about you? What was your story? Who said that you weren't a victim too?
"Azriel", that was a sound that Azriel knew he was never going to get tired of. He met Zofie's eyes from across the room. Eyes that were now almost pleading. "Hey, baby Z", Azriel muttered with a wink. Your body instantly shot up, an angry scowl on your face, "What are you doing here?". Azriel had never heard your voice so cranky and low. It ripped at parts of him that it shouldn't.
"Axel, take Zofie to my room; why don't you?", Azriel ruffled the boy's hair, and he instantly stretched his arm out for the girl, who was quick to leap off the bed. "No", you muttered, pushing yourself to get out of bed. "Y/n", Azriel pleaded, his eyes fixed more on the kids as they both hurried to get out. "Who do you think you are?", you were right in front of him now, hands reaching for the door handle, but Azriel blocked it off by standing in the way.
"Come on, let's talk", he said softly, but you only let out a huff. "No", you said, moving to shove him away, but in reality, you should have known better, taking into account that he was at least three times your size. You pulled back angrily. "You might be some big scary thing down there", you pointed at the window where the lights of Velaris could be seen. "But here... I don't care", you nearly whined in frustration. You moved to flick your hands out, the light instantly drenching them, but Azriel was quick to catch your wrists.
"I don't want to fight", he said in a calm, worried tone. You tried to yank your hands from his. Just like you tried to get away from him on the balcony, just this time he didn't buck. "I don't care what you want", you spat through gritted teeth. "You're leaving", and as angry as you tried to appear, the last part made your voice crack, and you instantly bit the inside of your cheek. Azriel let out a sigh before saying, "I never said that".
Your body seized. That same painful feeling of hope rushed through you, but you drowned it out almost immediately. Why wouldn't he? Why would he stay? You watched Azriel until your eyes were burning so much that you couldn't keep your composure any longer. "It's not fair", you muttered, but all you got in return was, "Why didn't you tell me?". You blinked a couple of times in conversation. "What?", you breathed. "That they want to take them away", Azriel's words pierced right through you. Igniting that same anger that was just starting to fade away.
"They won't", you snapped. They might try, but you would go down swinging if you had to. "You're sure?", Azriel bites back for the first time, and it's enough to make you pull away from him once again. "Fuck you", you hissed, "Who do you think you are?". You wished he would yell back instead of just standing there. Looking. Standing and looking. "You came in here after thinking with your dick and just stirred it all up", and you know your words hit the spot just from the way pain flashed in Azriel's eyes, but his face stays stone cold. Unreadable. Unapproachable. "You don't mean it, you're mad", he said in an utterly blank matter, and it only inched you forward. "Oh, I mean it, I so...", but you didn't have words; you don't have words for what you were looking to say. There was nothing. Because none of them were true.
"You...", you point your finger at Azriel. "Yeah, go for it. Pull out another name for me. I don't care what insult you throw at me. You're defending yourself because you're scared", and that's it. Those words were your final undoing. Your lip wobbled. Nails digging so deep into your palms just so you can keep yourself from sobbing. "I can't lose them...", you breathed out and Azriel instantly crossed the distance between you both, pulling you in and tucking your head beneath his chin. "We'll figure this out", "This doesn't involve...", you try to fight back, but Azriel ignores your words. "I've got you, love", he muttered, pressing a kiss to the top of your head. And just like most times when Azriel was near you, a warm flow seeped deeper into your bones, settling into your body. Your hands reached to hold onto his shoulders for support as you let yourself cry.
"You cheated", Axel gasped, making you turn your head back to your bed. Azriel was sprawled on it, with both of the little monsters on either side of him. They had both come back with a handful of sweets in their hands that they snuck in from the kitchen. For comfort, they said it in unison, and as much as you wanted to tell them off, all you had done was smile. Yet the empty feeling in your chest still throbbed.
"How does one cheat while reading a bedtime story?", Azriel let the book rest against his chest. "You read too fast!", "You didn't do voices", both Zofie and Axel said in unison. A deep chuckle slipped past Azriel's lips, "Two very different accusations here". His eyes darted to your frame. You had opted to sit near the fireplace instead of lying with them. "Judge?", he called out playfully to you, the two kids giggling alongside him. But your eyes didn't leave the dancing flame. "Y/N", Azriel called out softly. You turned to them with a hum, but your eyes alone said that now was not the time for games. You couldn't take it. A sharp lash of pain gripped Azriel's chest, making him grit his teeth. But your shoulders sagged in slight relief. As if Azriel had managed to take at least an inch of pain off your shoulders.
"How about we settle down?", the spymaster turned to the kids, quickly pulling the blanket all the way up above their heads, making them both fall into fits of giggles. Giggles that pulled even at the corners of your lips "Will you stay?", Axel asked breathlessly. Azriel stilled for a moment, "I don't think I...", the spymaster muttered quickly. "You're very warm", Zofie beamed, and for that alone, Azriel was willing to drop all of his plans. "Then I can't keep you freezing", his shadows quickly fluttered through Zofie's hair, making the girl squeal at the tickling sensation.
Azriel watched you for what felt like ages. The noise in the room had died down. With both kids asleep, the place felt quiet. Only the crackling of fire remained, accompanied by the light snoring. Azriel had managed to slip from in between the two younglings. As if by second nature they had found one another in between the sheets. Axel's wing draped over Zofie almost immediately. And Azriel had to crack a smile. Illyrian instinct.
"What's on your mind, sweet?", Azriel had walked over to you, both hands on your tense shoulders, as he finally broke the silence. "Sadder or a happier version?", you chuckled coldly. "Sadder", the spymaster muttered, because deep down he knew there wasn't a single happy scenario in your head at this moment. "How horrific it will be for them when you go back", you muttered. Azriel shook his head as a sheen of frustration ran down his face, "Why are you so fixated on it?", "You didn't just ask that", you huffed, turning to him swiftly. Azriel let out another sigh, "Why does every conversation between us end up in an argument now?" There was no anger in his tone. Pure sadness at its best. It hurt him, and even you couldn't ignore it. You looked away quickly, but one of Azriel's shadows brushed against your cheek, turning your head back to the shadowsinger.
He kneeled in front of you, lowering himself to your height. "I'm not throwing this away. I said I'd teach Axel how to fly, and I will", Azriel said firmly, "I want to earn Zofie's love; I can't..", but you quickly cut in, "Don't", you muttered, "Don't make promises like that". Azriel watched you. Watched you because, no matter how much he tried, he knew he would understand the roots of the pain you carried. And then, against his better judgment or just simply because his heart was telling him to, Azriel muttered, "Come to Velaris with me". You let out a surprised gasp, scanning his eyes. "You don't mean it", you whispered, shaking your head, but Azriel only inched closer, "Then I'll prove it to you".
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Taglist: @naturakaashi
#azriel x reader#azriel imagine#azriel x you#azriel spymaster x reader#azriel shadowsinger#azriel acotar#azriel acotar imagine#azriel acotar x reader#acotar imagine#acotar x reader#acotar x you
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Shameless, pt. 5
snape x professor!reader fic
Shameless Masterpost
HEY YALL!! oh my lordddd this was so fun and emotionally draining to write lowkey, i had o children on repeat at the end and i was in my BAG, that song destroys me.
if you're still here and still following this series, thank you very much, i truly do appreciate your support - that means all the likes, follows, reblogs, comments - everything and anything <33 if you are new, hello, welcome, hi, the beginning chapters will be on my blog, just scroll down, this series is the only thing i have posted, i'll be adding the part links in tomorrow as i want to go to bed hehe
i love u guys so much :) pls make sure you drink enough water today!
this is a very long chapter by the way so pls prepare yourself for potential spelling mistakes!
alright... away we goooo!!!
As you sprinted down the corridor, it felt like it was never-ending. You were almost out of breath as you reached the scene, your hand flying up to cover your mouth as you stared up in horror at the second bloody message. It eerily read: 'Her skeleton will lie in the chamber forever'.
"Oh my…" You breathed out shakily; the loudening sound of a crowd of hurried footsteps began to get closer and closer to you. Looking to the right, you spotted the other teachers - McGonagall, Madam Pomfrey, Flitwick, Sinistra, Snape and the caretaker, Filch. They all looked as distressed as you did, even Snape who is usually devoid of any emotion.
"The heir of Slytherin has left another message," McGonagall stated apprehensively, gesturing to the defamed wall with an outstretched hand as the other teachers gathered around, all sporting the same worrisome look. "Our worst fear has been realised. A student has been taken by the monster, into the Chamber itself." The Head of Gryffindor's voice was shaky, it sounded like she was about to burst into tears. You glanced at her with sad eyes, and she beckoned you to come to her with her other arm. You padded over to McGonagall as she laid an arm around your shoulders comfortingly, her thumb gently rubbing soothing circles into your skin.
Being the youngest of the teachers, you were taking this rather hard. Most of all, you were worried for the rest of your students. "What do we do Minerva?" You asked quietly after a moment of silence as the group of you stared at the wall in disbelief and what felt like denial. "The students must be sent home… I'm afraid this is the end of Hogwarts." She announced, her brows knitting together in a dramatic show of despair. You felt your stomach drop. The end of Hogwarts?…
Before you could get another word in, a familiar, cocky face appeared. "So sorry. Dozed off. What have I missed?" Lockhart asked over-enthusiastically with his signature million-dollar grin, bouncing on his heels as he clasped his hands together behind his back. You clenched your jaw in anger at him, your eyes narrowing into an unwelcoming glare as you stared at the man.
"A girl has been snatched by the monster, Lockhart. Your moment has come at last." Snape said bitterly, standing tall.
"My m-moment?" Lockhart replied, stumbling over his words like he'd just seen a ghost.
"Weren't you saying just last night that you've known all along where the entrance to the Chamber of Secrets is?" Snape quipped as the speed of sound, his tongue laced with venom. You glanced at Severus for a quick moment, your stomach doing somersaults. Instantly, Lockhart's grin disappeared. You swallowed thickly as he dared to glance at you, his mouth parting slightly in shock. Your jaw clenched again as you shuffled in your spot, resisting the urge to curse the man. McGonagall's comforting hand tightened around your shoulder.
"That's settled. We'll leave you to deal with the monster, Gilderoy." McGonagall said matter-of-factly. "Your skills, after all, are legend." She added, not hiding the smugness in her voice at all. The corner of your lip quirked up the tiniest amount at her words. Lockhart's face was the pure definition of shock for the last few seconds before he quickly returned to his fake, proud grin.
"Very well. Uh, I'll just be in my office getting err… getting ready!" Lockhart announced, feigning excitement. Did he think you were stupid? All of you could see through his brave act and see his true cowardly self. As you all stared at him, he spun on his heel and turned around, almost sprinting back in the direction of his office. You couldn't help but scoff quietly as he turned the corner, rolling your eyes at his pathetic self as you looked back at the message messily scrawled out on the wall. Your stomach twisted at the thought of one of your students being brutally slaughtered at the hands of a beast. It felt as if someone had just pushed you from a great height.
"Who is it that the monster's taken, Minerva?" Madam Pomfrey asked with inquisitive yet cautious eyes, pulling you from your thoughts. Professor McGonagall looked away for a moment, blinking slowly.
"Ginny Weasley." McGonagall replied gravely, sharing a glance with Madam Pomfrey before walking away, presumably back to her office. You'd been nurturing your Mandrakes with precision, but this whole debacle spurred you on to do as much as you could, even if that meant destroying yourself in the process. The students of Hogwarts' safety meant the world to you. You couldn't imagine the fear that was probably streaming through them all right now.
Ever since you were called by McGonagall to the second-floor corridor to witness the final bloody message scrawled against the wall, you'd been awake almost twenty-four hours a day; sleeping in your greenhouse at your desk to ensure you were there the exact moment your Mandrakes were ready to be stewed and made into juice for the Mandrake Restoration potion. Dark purple rings had appeared around your eyes as you worked day and night, fertilising, feeding and watering the Mandrakes, guaranteeing that the they were at their best when the time came. The threat of more students being attacked or snatched kept you awake most of the time.
Nothing of the sort had ever happened at Hogwarts before, and deep down, you were a little terrified. Though you refused to show it, it would only scare the students more. You had also heard through the grapevine that Hagrid had been arrested on suspicion of opening the Chamber of Secrets, which broke your heart. That man would never do such a thing, and you were positive he was being set up for it. It was a blistery, cold and frosty winter night and you had nodded off again whilst caring for the Mandrakes; your head drooped in the cradle of your arms on top of the table with your hair falling over your arms like a waterfall. You stirred awake, and it was a brutal war to open your eyes as the chilling air bit at your bare arms like a rabid dog. Shivering, you quickly blinked, rubbing your sore eyes with tired fingers, a gasp leaving your lips as you laid your eyes upon the scene in front of you. You couldn't believe what you were seeing. Before you had fallen asleep, the Mandrakes were in their own pots. Now, they had moved into each others. They'd finally matured! All those early morning and late nights you'd slaved away had paid off. Your chest was bursting with pride as you grinned to yourself. It was a bittersweet moment for sure.
"Yes!" You exclaimed, the rush of excitement fuelling you to stand up from your chair. You clasped your hands together eagerly, staring at the nesting Mandrakes like a baby who just took their first steps. You were so proud.
Humming to yourself, you stood there blankly. If you were being honest, you had to wrack your brain for a moment as the lack of sleep was starting to get to you - your brain was a little foggy. Yet, you pushed through it, retrieving your wand from your robes, but to your surprise it wasn't there. Your brows furrowed as you looked down at your empty pockets. It must have fallen out when you nodded off. You bent down quickly, scanning underneath the table with tired eyes, and sure enough, there was your wand. Sitting all by it's lonesome. You retrieved it with nimble fingers and stood back up with a whoosh, aiming your wand at the root of a Mandrake in front of you. "Diffindo." You spoke clearly, flicking your wand in a up-and-down motion, watching carefully as a thin white light severed off a thick piece of Mandrake root. It fell and landed on the table with a muffled thud. Quickly retrieving it, you placed it into a dark brown woven bag to the left of you, sealing it closed with the ivory-coloured drawstrings. Now, it was time to pay the Bat a visit. Hopefully he didn't cause you much… stress.
You sighed quietly, turning around with a whirl to have a quick look in a old, dusty mirror that had been overgrown by some vines of ivy. Merlin, you had really been neglecting yourself. You grimaced as you stared at your unrecognisable reflection, noticing the purple circles around your eyes. "Yeesh," you grit your teeth, fingers coming up to trace the lines forming at the end of your eyes.
It's not like you were there to impress Snape anyway, you were going there to drop off the Mandrake extracts and help him with the potion. That was it. Nothing else. Your chest tightened slightly at the thought, of course you wished it was different, but this was Professor Severus Snape you were talking about. The man was emotionless, he had no time for such childish things. A soft, strained groan slipped from your lips as you shut your eyes for a moment, just imagining what it'd be like if did feel the same way you did. Perhaps he'd make you tea in the mornings, visit you during your breaks, maybe even bring you small, meaningful gifts. Sighing defeatedly, you shook away your fantasy from your mind, slipping back into gloomy reality.
You made your way out of the greenhouse, but not before readjusting your dress and brushing through your hair with your fingers messily, a quiet 'ouch' falling from your lips as you reached a knot. Feelings or not, you wanted to at least look presentable. Falling asleep on your worktable didn't really do you any justice.
The obsidian night-sky had taken over from the blue one earlier, and you couldn't help but notice how beautiful the stars looked twinkling in the sky tonight. You stopped for a moment and admired it, quickly spotting your favourite constellation, Aquila. It took you back in time for a moment, remembering the fond times you had teaching students in Astronomy. You still loved Astronomy, but Herbology is where you truly belonged.
As you bid the night a silent farewell, you carried yourself into the castle, ensuring to be as quiet as possible considering it was around eleven o'clock at night, perhaps even midnight. You hurried to the spiral staircases leading down to the dungeons, that familiar, vile damp smell hitting your nose once again. Your nose scrunched up in disgust. As you continued down the path towards Snape's classroom, you spotted it; a warm amber light flooding out from underneath the door. It wasn't exactly a surprise that he was still awake, you knew he was usually out patrolling each night to catch students out of bed past curfew. You rolled your eyes at the thought and proceeded to rap on his door with your knuckles, awaiting his response, bag in hand.
"Come in." Came an agitated voice. You cringed slightly at yourself and opened his door and wandered in. As your eyes glanced around his classroom, you were instantly transported back to the times you'd served detention in here, scribbling rather inappropriate things on scraps of parchment. Looking back to Snape, you noticed he was sat at his desk, nose deep in what you assumed to be assignments. Your stomach suddenly felt rather light.
"Hello," you said sheepishly, stopping in front of his door as you shut it behind you, "You're up late." You commented, offering him a polite smile. Severus looked up confusedly from behind his desk, his brows furrowing as he noticed it was you and not a student. As his eyes connected with yours, they sent an anxious, shivery rush through your body.
"Y/N," Severus greeted you, his face still adorned with his infamous scowl as he looked at you directly for several seconds, scrutinising you as he tried to comprehend what you were doing at his office at such an ungodly hour. "What are you doing here?"
"The Mandrakes matured," you said excitedly, holding up the bag in your hand. Snape's gaze fell to your hands, eyeing the bag with an ounce of curiosity. "We can start the potion now to cure the students." You added happily.
Severus leaned back in his chair, looking back down at the assignments in front of him. You were a little bummed that he didn't look happier. "Brilliant, you may put them here." He said blankly, patting the empty space on his desk next to his pile of assignments. After several seconds, he spoke again with a curious tone. "…You said 'we', Y/N?" He stared at you. The way he said your name made your face redden.
"Erm, yes, well, I don't want you to over-stew the Mandrake root," You said with a cheeky smile. You were trying to lighten to glum mood. It was risky but worth it. High risk, high reward, you thought. "I thought it would be best if I did for you, since I was the one that raised them." You explained, shrugging sheepishly. Severus could sense the swelling pride in your voice, but he didn't mention anything, he wasn't sure if he'd say something awful and hurt you. It was rather pleasant to see you smiling in his presence instead of the usual upset and angry side of you.
Severus sat for a moment and pondered before speaking once more. "Very well." He said, that cold tone still very present in his voice. You bit down a little too harshly on your bottom lip out of nervousness, padding forwards to set the Mandrake roots down on a desk in the middle of the classroom. As you glanced around the classroom once more, fond memories of you and your friends whispering and sneaking notes to each other in class began to flood your mind, a nostalgic smile tugging at your lips.
"Are the cauldrons still in the same place?" You asked Severus, turning your head over your shoulder to look at him.
"Yes." Was all he said, nose still buried deep in his work. You rolled your eyes softly at his ridiculous work ethic. Every time you came in this room, he was always working hard. Of course, you admired his industrious nature, but you thought he would at least give himself some leeway and put the assignments down, maybe read a book or do something a little less work-related. Though, you weren't one to judge, perhaps he enjoyed it.
"Nothing changes around here." You chuckled quietly to yourself, a small smile spreading across your face as you wandered in the direction of Snape's storage cupboards, your fingers wrapping around the handle. Pulling it open with a exhausted squeak of the old and worn hinges, you let your eyes roam over the equipment, searching for a spare cauldron. As you had your back turned, Severus sneaked a glance at you over his assignments, his eyes narrowing vaguely as he stared at you for a short moment. Before you turned back around with the cauldron in your hand, he'd already returned his gaze to his desk.
Walking back to the desk you'd chosen to stew your Mandrake root, you let your eyes flick over at Severus for a quick moment, indulging in his appearance. Your eyes lingered, and you realised you loved the way his hair fell around his pale face like a pair of old curtains, a single strand curling onto his prominent nose. A tiny, bashful smile fell on your lips as you looked back to the cauldron in your hands, stopping at the desk to place the cauldron down. Whilst you were setting it up, you kept sneaking cautious glances in the direction of the broody Potions Master, your heart beat speeding up each time your curious eyes landed on him.
You retrieved your wand from your robes and cast a spell on the cauldron, watching as water suddenly filled it three quarters of the way up. After that, you cast another spell to boil the water, your face relaxing a tad as you reached for the bag of Mandrake root to your right, opening it and retrieving said ingredient. You dropped it in the cauldron with a satisfying plop, observing it carefully. Now, you had to wait fifteen minutes for it to stew, keeping an eye out for when it turned bright green.
You looked up at Severus, who was still scratching away at assignments with his quill. "It'll be around fifteen minutes." You announced, not really expecting a reply. He merely grunted as a weak sign of acknowledgment. That was the best you were going to get currently. You sighed quietly to yourself and decided to take a stroll around his classroom to kill some time.
Heading towards the shelves of jars and containers of rather vile looking ingredients, you clasped your hands together behind your back, stopping to have a look at a jar of rat tails. You grimaced at the sight, quickly moving on to another row of less disgusting looking jarred items. A content hum left your lips as you spotted your powdered asphodel root, placed neatly in a small glass container to the right of a phial of Phoenix tears.
"I see you have a surplus of powdered asphodel root," You commented, turning around to glance at Severus, who to your surprise, was already staring at you. A flash of butterflies shot through you. "You won't need anymore for a while, then?" You cleared your throat, chewing on your bottom lip out of nervousness.
"Not until I brew another Draught of Living Death." Severus replied slowly and coldly, his eyes scrutinising you. You turned around, nodding, tearing your gaze from him, continuing to walk slowly and peek at each jar nosily.
"Do you ever miss certain students?" You asked, catching Snape off-guard. His brows furrowed at you slightly, partially confused at your question.
"Not particularly," He replied slowly again, his mind racing through countless ideas as to why you'd ask such a question. "If that's your way of asking if I miss having you as a student, my answer may hurt your feelings, Y/N." Severus's lips quirked up at the corners into a small, reluctant smirk. In lieu of the familiar rush of irritation surging through you at his comment, you instead found yourself smiling. You were a little surprised at yourself, you half-heartedly expected to take offense at his dig. Severus was surprised at your reaction too, but he did not show it.
"Understandable," You laughed quietly; the butterflies fluttering like a storm in your stomach. "I wasn't the best student for you, if my memory serves me right." Another soft laugh left you. Severus felt himself almost smile at the pretty sound that slipped from your lips. It was a little jarring to see such a change in character in you. He'd prepared himself for you to yell at him again, or at least insult him back.
"No." He agreed, still staring at you. "However, you weren't the worst."
"Who was?" You looked at him this time, genuinely curious. Severus grunted at your question.
"I believe you know. Or, perhaps, can guess at best."
A cheeky smirk perked up on your face. "Benjamin Bluewater?" You stared at Snape, waiting for his answer. He only tilted his head at you, raising his brows a tad. You took that as a yes from him. "Yeah, he was a menace." You hummed amusedly, thinking back to the times Bluewater had caused Snape grief. One time, the boy had set off a rather foul-smelling prank in Snape's classroom, rendering it useless for that period. Snape almost had the boy's head that day for that mischievous mishap. Bluewater was insanely lucky to have another teacher walk by, diffusing the situation.
"Yes," Snape sighed exasperatedly, leaning back in his desk chair. For the first time, you felt comfortable in his presence. It wasn't tense, nor uncomfortable, and you weren't on edge, waiting for an insult. "I don't think I've ever met someone so… distasteful." You frowned at him, obviously in disagreement.
"Lockhart, surely?" You offered. Severus cocked his brow and tilted his head, nodding frankly at you, as if to say 'Yes, that's true'. You laughed and turned around, starting to head back towards your cauldron as it was starting to hiss. "Yeah, he's insufferable." You said as you reached your cauldron and retrieved your wand, using it to stir the stew.
There was a few seconds of silence between you two, only the hissing and bubbling of the cauldron echoing in the classroom. "I'll be sad to see him go." Snape said finally. Your head whipped up at him, a look of shock and confusion on your face. "I won't have the honour of coming across you threatening him in a corridor late at night anymore." He added, his lips quirking up slightly again. A dry laugh left your lips as you turned back to your Mandrake stew. "It was always a thrilling experience each time I neared a corner in a corridor when patrolling at night."
"Funny." You scrunched your nose up, trying to hide the amused smile that was painted on your face. With your attention on something else, Severus couldn't help but let his eyes linger on you for a few more seconds, silently admiring the way your hair fell over your shoulders. "I think it's done, Severus."
"You think or you know it's done?" He quipped, standing slowly to walk over to you, his majestic cloak billowing out behind him. He halted himself beside you, peering into the cauldron.
"I know it's done." You rolled your eyes at him, earning an eyebrow raise from the Potions Master. You had to bite back a smile. "Would you like me to do the potion as well?" You asked jokingly, daring to glance up into his dark, almost black eyes. That was a mistake, your cheeks flared up immediately. You quickly averted your gaze back to the cauldron, hoping he didn't notice.
"I believe I am the Potion Master of this school," Severus glared at you like he was offended you'd even offer that. You tried to hold back your laugh. He was so demanding at times. "Considering your… messy history with potions, I think it would be best if I handled this part." He added with a hint of amusement in his voice.
"You make a great point, Severus." You rolled your eyes and stepped back, awaiting instructions. "Can I at least get the ingredients?" You asked eagerly, sounding like a child. You cringed a little at yourself. "Very well." Severus sighed, his eyes still glued to the cauldron. As he finished speaking, you spun on your heel and headed to where you were strolling earlier. You paused for a moment, realising that you had no idea what the ingredients were. Before you could ask, Severus was already on the case. "Dandelion root, Phoenix tears and purified water." He listed, almost tiredly. You blushed furiously at the fact you'd embarrassed yourself yet again in front of Snape.
"Okay…" You trailed off, eyes frantically searching the shelves. My asphodel root was next the Phoenix tears, you thought, shuffling to the right slightly to reach for the phial of Phoenix tears. Dandelion root must be placed with the other Herbology based ingredients, surely? you wondered. Sure enough, you were right, your eyes landed on the jar of dandelion roots; hand reaching out to grab it. Erm, purified water, purified water… you thought, eyes scanning the shelves, quickly stopping as you spotted it pushed behind a container of fish eyes. "Ew…" You muttered, pushing the fish eyes aside to grab the purified water. Severus had the tiniest amused smile on his face as he watched you search the shelves for the Mandrake Restorative Draught ingredients, he was thoroughly entertained.
As you turned around to look back at Snape, ingredients in hand, your eyes caught his, and you noticed the smile on his lips. It almost made your knees buckle, you'd never seen him smile like that before, let alone at you. Immediately, the smile was wiped from his lips as your eyes connected. It made you a little sad that he felt he had to hide his true emotions from you.
"You are an expert at dawdling, Y/N." Severus commented, his eyes returning to their usual cold and harsh nature.
"Well, not that it's obvious to you, but I don't tend to come in here very much anymore." You quipped back, arching your brow at his words. It was intriguing to you to see just how fast he could just switch expressions. Snape offered you a condescending gaze as he brushed off your sassy reply. "Here, I've got everything you need." You said, placing the jars and vials on the desk in front of the two of you. "Brilliant." Was all Severus said as he barely acknowledged you, his shoulder-length mop of raven-black hair acting like a shield to his face. He was much taller than you, so you couldn't see past it whilst standing beside him.
"Can I watch?" You asked sheepishly, making Snape turn around to look at you. His brows knitted together, observing you silently. With a soft sigh, he turned back around to the cauldron and proceeded to pick up the jar of dandelion roots.
"If you must." Severus replied, a hint of curiosity in his voice. A small, appreciative smile fell on your lips. He glanced at you once more from beside you, sending butterflies soaring through you. You focused your attention onto his hands, watching how his quick and skilful fingers opened each jar gracefully, preparing them for each step. You watched as Severus took a pinch of the dandelion root, gently adding it into the cauldron, careful not to disturb the Mandrake root. After that, he grasped the vial of Phoenix tears with a cautious hand and poured it into the mixture, his eyes lighting up at the bubbles that started to form on top of the potion. Severus reached for the final ingredient of purified water. Dropping it in slowly, the mixture quickly shifted to a muted tone of green.
"Now, let it simmer for a minute or so, then stir it once clockwise, and then twice anticlockwise." Severus instructed sternly, picking up the empty jars and containers.
"Right," You nodded, a little nervous. You couldn't screw it up, right? Stepping forwards, you watched Severus stalk away to the shelves, glass jars and containers in hand. You looked back to the potion and waited for a minute and a bit, before using your wand to stir the green mixture once clockwise, and then twice anti-clockwise. A soft blow of air left your lips as a sign of relief.
"Well done. If only you could have been this competent when you were a student." Snape said sarcastically, peering into the cauldron, his brows raising in approval as he threw a side-ways glance at you. You rolled your eyes at him, fighting the urge to say something back. "Keep rolling your eyes, perhaps you'll find a brain back there." Snape quipped, obviously growing tired of your eye-rolls. It was impossibly hard not to roll your eyes at him right then and there, it was so fitting to do so. "I believe it's ready." He said, nodding once. A happy, proud and prideful grin broke out on your face as your stared at the draught, a sense of accomplishment washing over your small form. As Severus glanced down at you again, he couldn't help but stare at your happy little face, an odd and unusual sensation stirring in his chest. He swiftly turned away from you without saying anything else and headed back to his desk, leaving you alone, hiding his face as the smallest of smiles picked at the corners of his lips.
You had brought the draught to Madam Pomfrey in the infirmary at once. She was ever so grateful and thankful towards you, however, you were rather adamant that it was Severus she should be thanking. "Thank you so much, Professor L/N!" Madam Pomfrey cried with the Mandrake Restorative Draught in her hands, a gasp of relief leaving her lips as she lead you around the corner of a curtain, your body freezing as your eyes fell on a Petrified student. It was Hermione Granger.
"You should really be thanking Severus," You chuckled awkwardly, clasping your hands in front of your hips. "It wouldn't have been made without him, considering he is the Potions Master after all." You said, a hint of a laugh at the end of your sentence. "I only grew the Mandrakes." You added.
"Of course, but the Mandrake is the most important ingredient, do you not agree?" She said, turning to glance at you as she administered the potion to the skin of a Petrified Hermione. It stinged you a little to see a student of yours frozen and paralysed, almost lifeless. So you looked away, your eyes finding an interest in the floor.
"I suppose, but I wouldn't have been able to brew it myself, even Severus himself said I shouldn't." You hummed. Madam Pomfrey rolled her eyes softly at you. You pursed your lips.
"Don't believe anything that gloomy bat says, Professor L/N, you're more than capable of anything if you put your mind to it." She said sternly, her long dress gliding across the floor elegantly as she moved away from Hermione and to the next student behind the next curtain to your left. She left you alone to your thoughts, and perhaps she was right. Maybe you were capable of brewing the potion, but even if you were, you would still rather have Severus do it, especially since it was an urgent requirement. It had to be perfect.
A few days had passed since you had distributed the antidote to Madam Pomfrey and today was Friday, the last day of term for the students before they left Hogwarts to return home to their families for Christmas. Mixed emotions stirred within you as you sat at the table with the other professors, your eyes glazing over the House tables sat in front of you. This term had been full of unusual and unexpected moments, and you were hoping it would simmer down the next term. You weren't too sure whether you'd survive anything like that again. In fact, you were almost positive.
"Hello, and good evening to all," Dumbledore announced, wandering up to his beloved golden Owl Lecturn, his long and worn fingers latching around the wings. "Before we begin to indulge in this excellent feast, let us have a round of applause for Professor L/N," The Headmaster said, almost making you snap your neck from the speed you looked up. You were not expecting Dumbledore to publicly thank you. "Madam Pomfrey, whose Mandrake juice has been so successfully administered to all who had been petrified." He finished, and your cheeks flushed red with embarrassment. You didn't do well being in the spotlight, let alone being thanked by the entire school for something so miniscule in your eyes. You smiled sheepishly and gave a gracious nod at everyone who suddenly erupted into a chorus of cheers and applause. Looking to your right, you caught the eyes of Severus, who, to your surprise, was gazing at you proudly, a small, hesitant smile on his face. You smiled back at him and nodded once, resisting the grin that was itching to break out.
"Also, in light of recent events, as a school treat, all exams have been cancelled." Dumbledore added, which encouraged an even louder round of applause and further cheers. You allowed yourself to grin this time, relishing in the happiness of the students and teachers surrounding you. It was such a pleasant atmosphere, and all you could feel spreading through you was a homely-like warmth. Hogwarts had always been your home at heart, but this seemed to cement it.
Suddenly, the cheering and clapping ceased as the doors creaked open, revealing a very tall, very large bearded man with long, frizzy chocolate hair. He sported some raggedy matching brown clothes, and from this you could easily guess it was Hagrid. Mainly from his sheer height, but the beard and hair was also a dead giveaway. "Sorry I'm late," he announced, glancing around awkwardly, "the owl that delivered my release papers got all lost and confused. Some ruddy bird called Errol." He said, widening his eyes in a tired, yet joking manner. You couldn't help but smile at his comment, and a few quiet giggles fell from some first and second year students.
You leaned to Flitwick who was seated beside you. "Do you know who's owl that is?" You whispered curiously, glancing between the shorter Charms Master and Hagrid. Flitwick looked at you with an amused smile.
"Ron Weasley's owl, of course." He chuckled softly, returning his attention to the scene unfolding in front of him. You hummed. Of course it was, the bird matched his owner very well, you thought, another joyous smile gracing your lips.
"Without further ado," Dumbledore's raspy, wise voice boomed through the Great Hall, capturing everyone's attention. "Let us begin!" He cheered, a wide grin spreading across his bearded cheeks.
Instantaneously, plates upon plates of delicious, mouth-watering food materialised right in front of your eyes. Glorious and juicy roast turkey adorned with all the helpings sat temptingly in front of your placemat, a bowl of golden and crisp roasties to the right of it. Steaming hot green veggies sat to the left of the turkey, and you just couldn't wait to dig in, your stomach was growling like a chained up wolf. You let out a soft gasp at the beautiful sight, your eyes twinkling with delight. After all this chaos in just a few months time, you were all well-deserving of such gorgeous food.
"The food looks absolutely delicious, Dumbledore, thank you." You poked your head past Flitwick, looking at the older wizard with a grin, who had settled himself down in the Head seat. He casted his wrinkled, yet sparkling and wise eyes to you, and nodded graciously. "You are most welcome, Professor L/N." He smiled politely. You returned his smile without a beat and turned back to your plate, using the supplied silverware and utensils to serve yourself some of the rich and brilliant food in front of you.
Conversations and cheerful laughter surrounded you, and you couldn't have felt happier than right now. Whilst chewing on a piece of asparagus, you sneaked a glance at where Severus was sat, however, you found he was not there anymore. A sad frown pulled your brows together, and you swiftly glanced around the hall for a tall, black figure, but nothing caught your eye. You swallowed your mouthful and placed your utensils down on the plate with a soft clink. You turned to Flitwick again.
"Did Severus leave?" You asked quietly, careful to keep your voice down.
Flitwick turned to you, munching away happily on a hot roastie. He nodded before swallowing. "Yes, he tends to avoid these sorts of things. Each year he never fails to leave right before the big feast." The Charms professor explained. A sad knot twisted in your stomach at the thought of him being alone on a such a happy occasion. Though, it wasn't all too surprising. He does seem like the type to prefer to be alone instead of spending it with people he… works with. You pondered on your thoughts for a moment, before deciding to stand up.
"Excuse me." You smiled at the shorter professor beside you, grabbing your plate and loading it with some extra turkey meat, potatoes and some vegetables. Flitwick looked up at you with another mouthful, a little curious as he chewed and watched you get extra helpings with inquisitive eyes. With a full plate in hand, you quickly downed your goblet of wine. Flitwick didn't press you for answers to the nosy questions that were circulating inside his brilliant mind as he watched you head towards the door to the right of the dinner table. You gave him a small, coy smile and bid him a silent goodbye, wandering to the dungeons.
As you were walking in the direction of where Snape lurked, you got those same doubts again, wondering whether he would actually appreciate this act, or be appalled by it. You hoped it'd be the former, but you weren't very confident in that. Swallowing the bubbling anxiety in the back of your throat, you pressed on down the corridors, finding that familiar spiral staircase. You cautiously walked down it, a little wobbly from balancing the plate of hot food and also from drinking that goblet of wine in one go - you weren't a common drinker so in hindsight you probably should have thought that silly idea through a little more. As you reached the bottom of the staircase, you saw that same warm, amber hue of candlelight flooding out from underneath the door of Snape's office. Your heart began to pound in your ears as you neared his door; knees trembling a little bit.
You knocked on his door with your free hand and waited patiently for a reply.
"Come in." Severus said, sighing. You could sense the muted irritation in his tone, your fingers reaching reluctantly for his doorknob. You grasped it and turned it and opened the door. As you sauntered in, Severus didn't bother to look up, his eyes and nose still buried in what looked to be more… assignments. Does the man never give himself time to relax?
"Hi." You squeaked out awkwardly, leaning back against his door, the plate of food still held carefully in your hands. Severus's head shot up almost instantly at the sound of your voice, his brows furrowing together in what you hoped to be confusion rather than annoyance. "Erm, I brought you some food."
"I'm not hungry." Severus protested with a grunt, looking back down to the assignment in his hand. He must be lying, since you don't recall seeing him at breakfast, nor lunch.
"When did you last eat, Severus?" You asked, shuffling in your spot, attempting to hide the caring tone that accidentally slipped from your lips with a pathetic cough. Snape's brows furrowed deeper, a dark crease forming between them.
"What do you want, Y/N?" Severus groaned, his eyes glued to his desk still. You cleared your throat, demanding his full attention. A deep, exasperated sigh left his lips as he reluctantly tore his eyes away from his work, meeting your concerned ones. "Why does it matter when I last ate?"
"Because human beings need to eat." You arched a brow at him. He didn't seem to appreciate the tone you took with him. "I'm not a normal human being, Y/N." He blinked at you.
"Normal or not, you still need some sort of sustenance." You said matter-of-factly, tilting your head at him, silently ending the debate between you two. You padded towards his desk, pulling up a chair from the side of the room at the same time. You were definitely sure that the wine was encouraging your boldness, you even noticed the slight surprise in Snape's eyes as he continued to stare at you. "Will you eat, please?" You asked with a soft sigh, plopping yourself down in the wooden chair with a muted thud. You held the plate of food out in front of you, almost shoving it in Severus's face. His lips twisted for a quick moment, thinking.
"If it means you leave faster, then yes." His eyes narrowed at you like blunt daggers. The hostility was there, but it wasn't intended to be hurtful. Severus hesitantly took the plate from your hands, and slid the assignments out of the way on his desk, sitting the plate down in the middle.
"Oh!" You exclaimed softly, glancing at your dirty cutlery. "I almost forgot. Scourgify." You pulled out your wand and flicked it at the silverware, watching happily as the muck and grime dissipated from it like ice melting under the sun. Severus looked at you with suspicious eyes, scrutinising you, attempting to comprehend why you had paid him of all people a visit. "How come you left so early?" You queried, sitting back in your chair with your hands in your lap.
"Dinner parties aren't my forte." He replied, spiking a piece of turkey breast with the fork. A small smile painted your lips as you watched him place it in his mouth, his eyes lighting up ever so slightly at the divine taste that painted his tongue. "Perhaps I was mistaken…" He mumbled, glancing down at the plate of turkey, potatoes and green veggies, looking rather awestruck due to the glorious taste that was exploding in his mouth as of right now.
A proud smile slipped onto your lips as you looked away from Severus for a moment, letting your eyes wander around his dimly lit, and rather glum looking office. The bricks were a dark, worn black, with a beige cement sitting between them. He had shelves upon shelves of books, about everything you could ever imagine. Name it, and it's most likely there. So, he was a book nerd, you thought, smiling to yourself. Then, your eyes fell on the most beautiful record player you'd ever seen. Obviously, it was all black to match the whole aesthetic of Snape's office. It sat prettily upon a table in the corner, a small collection of well-kept records were leant up against it.
"You listen to music?" You questioned, a dry laugh escaping your lips as you stood up, drawn to the beautiful object.
"Why is that a surprise?" Snape asked, a little offended that you were shocked by such a revelation.
"Well, you don't exactly give me a music enthusiast vibe," You chuckled softly, glancing at Severus with glossy eyes. The wine had gone to your head slightly. "I can't imagine you listening to music." You added, allowing your chuckle to burst into a soft, hushed laugh. Severus rolled his eyes at you and turned back to his desk, shovelling another mouthful of turkey into his mouth, picking up an assignment with his other hand.
You turned your attention back to the record player and let your fingers trace the beautiful grains and grooves of the wood, the pads of your index and middle finger ending up on his record collection. You let your nosiness kick in as you flicked through them, spotting some seventies rock bands, classical compilations, and… Frank Sinatra?
"Frank Sinatra?" You queried with a curious, amused smile, glancing at Severus over your shoulder. Butterflies exploded like storm in your stomach when you found him already staring at you, though the look on his face wasn't what you wanted. He looked a little miffed. "I like Frank Sinatra." You quickly added, wanting to avoid any sort of conflict. You glanced back to where your fingers where dipping into his record collection, a furious pink blush tinting your pale cheeks. As you slipped your hand away, the end of your finger caught the play button, and suddenly the room was filled with a dark, melancholic and slow rock song. Your eyes widened in panic as you tried frantically to turn it off, however, nothing was working.
"Leave it, I… like it." Came a voice from behind you, immediately halting you in your desperate, albeit poor attempts to pause it. Severus was still sat at his desk, but he was sat back now, a little more relaxed.
"It's nice," you commented quietly, after a beat of silence, braving a look at Severus. His eyes were glued to his desk, the plate of turkey and vegetables pushed messily to the side. He seemed to be battling something. You swallowed thickly and sauntered over to him, your heels clacking against the brick floor. You stopped in front of him and held out your hand. "…Dance with me?" You asked, voice still quiet. The Potions Master looked up at you for several seconds, his harsh, dark eyes flicking to your open palm. Your heart was thumping so loud in your ears you were worried you wouldn't hear his answer.
Luckily for you, he didn't give you one. He just plainly accepted your hand, standing slowly, almost reluctantly. You backed away from his desk, one step at a time, his large, calloused and cold hand still in yours. You stopped in the middle of the room, gently pulling Severus closer to you. A smile tugged at your lips as you looked up to meet his cold gaze, placing his other hand on your hip. You began to sway side to side to the slow beat of the song, his fingers flinching slightly as you moved. Severus found himself lost in your eyes as you stared up at him. He wondered why someone like you had offered to dance with someone like him; it felt wrong almost, a Hufflepuff and a Slytherin, good and bad. As the chorus got going, a bright grin broke out on your face as Severus lifted his arm up to twirl you around, the skirt of your dress blooming outwards like a flower. His chest tightened as you stumbled slightly, your hand slipping onto his chest to steady yourself.
"Sorry." you muttered almost inaudibly, looking up at Snape through your lashes bashfully. He didn't reply, he only danced with you more, and you saw his the corner of his lips quirk up in a small, almost miniscule smile. Your heart fluttered at the sight and your smile was back on your face.
The two of you continued to dance carelessly to the song playing in the background, and any worries and anxieties had been long forgotten ever since the two of you touched palms. You found yourself getting lost in his eyes as Severus twirled you around again, a loud laugh leaving your lips as he brought you back towards him, his eyes half-lidded with admiration. You lifted your hand up this time and attempted to twirl Snape around. He almost fought against it, but the sad pout on your lips ultimately broke him, and so he let you twirl him around.
Severus didn't know what he was feeling as his hands found your waist, his stomach was in knots and his chest was tingly, it wasn't normal, and it worried him slightly. But his buzzing, worrisome thoughts were soon calmed the moment his dark, troubled eyes met with your bright, carefree ones. The sound of your laugh made him feel things he hadn't felt in years, and your beaming, gleeful grin sent shivers down his cruel spine. It felt so wrong, but it felt so right having you in his arms; having you this close to him. A few months ago, he wouldn't have dared to dream of feeling so… vulnerable. And with a Hufflepuff no less. Snape had always despised them, he'd believed them to be the weakest house, but your utter resilient yet soft nature had totally swayed him. He'd be lying if he said your beauty hadn't completely captured his attention too, though he would never ever admit that.
You reminded him slightly of Lily, and that's what frightened him. He let himself fall in love once, and he wasn't sure he was going to let himself do it again. Actually, he was adamant. He couldn't bear to deal with that pain again, it almost killed him. He wouldn't be able to stomach seeing you lifeless on the floor, your eyes dead and lifeless. Your life was not worth risking for his sake of happiness. Suddenly, Severus switched emotions like the speed of sound. He immediately released you from his grasp, you grin and laughter silencing immediately. It felt like someone had stabbed him in the heart the second your laughter ceased.
"Get out." He said coldly, pushing you backwards. Your brows furrowed at his words, confusion painting your face.
"…What?" You blinked at him, trying to comprehend what he'd just said.
"I said get out." Snape seethed. His tone was angry, relentless, cruel, uncaring. Before, it felt like you'd just opened another door with him, inviting you into his world, and then you'd been kicked out and sent to a different one.
"But… Severus…" You swallowed thickly, your throat tightening as tears began to burn your eyes. Was it something you said? Something you did?
Little did you know, it was something you did. You'd made him happy, you'd made him feel human again. After so long of shutting off his feelings and building a fortress around his emotions, encasing them in metres and metres of thick, impenetrable concrete, you'd broken through so easily, and it terrified him. His mind instantly shut off, almost like a defence mechanism the moment it felt anything other than hatred or resentment for another person.
Gods, it fucking hurt to see you cry because of him, but he couldn't show it, he refused to let you get hurt, or worse, killed because of his own selfish thoughts. And so he turned his back on you, his black cloak acting like a shield as he leant against his desk with white knuckles.
It felt like everything you'd done to get to know Severus had just been broken down a million times and thrown back in your face. It felt like… betrayal, almost, but you weren't sure why.
Hot tears were streaming down your face now as you stared at his back. He's shut you out. That's it, all those days, months you spent trying to get to know him went to waste. You sucked in a shaky breath and turned around, rushing to the door. You hesitated for moment, glancing over your shoulder. You'd hoped he might've changed his mind, but Snape still had his back turned to you, his head dropped in front of him. A strangled cry left your throat uncontrollably as you stomped angrily out of his office, wiping away your tears with harsh fingers as you stormed back to your quarters. Thank Merlin it was Christmas break now. Perhaps it was for the best.
part 6
ok pls dont hate me for the end lmaooo i just couldnt help myself LOL </3
let me know if you enjoyed this chapter, the next movie i'll focus on is prisoner of azkaban aka my favourite hehe, however that wont be for another few chapters i think. another update wont be due until tuesday or wednesday <3
thank you for all your support i honestly dont deserve it :') <33
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I saw that requests are open and read through the requests rules post, so I hope this is okay!
Could I ask for Pomefiore + Lillia (or any characters you think would be best) with a reader that has cubital tunnel? To put it simply, cubital tunnel is a nerve condition where a nerve running through one's elbow is inflamed or irritated. The condition acts up when writing, typing, or really anything where you bend your elbows. You can usually tell it's about to when the area from your elbiw down starts to tingle. Flares usually present as a shooting pain running from your elbow to hand, numbness from elbow to hand, or both. When it's agitated for a prolonged period of time (like typing an essay or something) it can lead to the inability to properly move your fingers. Thet get stuck in a claw like position and moving them is like operating a jerky pulley system. (This is just personal experience, so it may be different for others)
Sorry this is so long! I just throught I'd try and save you the long confusing research. I've been seeing more fafics/hc/etc. with disabled readers but mostly just the more severe conditions. I think any representation is great, I just wish there was more for the less severe and lesser acknowledged ones.
Please feel free to just delete this if you don't want to do it! Hope you're doing well <3
Hello and thank you for this request! I happen to have a friend who has cubital tunnel, and as someone who has carpal tunnel (recent diagnosis as we finally found out what was going on, on top of a cyst having formed within the same wrist XD), it is well known that it is not at all fun.
Tw: None
Prompt: Pomefioren trio + Lilia with s/o who has cubital tunnel
Vil is someone who knows all about taking care of yourself, especially when you have physical limitations that actively cause you pain daily that limits what you can and cannot do throughout your day
He knew of this condition of yours long before the two of you got together, he does notice things, after all (he also has Rook)
As he grew more interested in you, he took much more notice in just when this pain flares up, especially through such simple tasks that most wouldn't struggle with
And once together? The man is a God sent.
The second that he notices that wince coming to your face, knowing that the pain is flaring once again, he is at your side (he knows better than to touch the area in pain knowing that it could be made worse through such actions)
You are taken to his room (away from the prying eyes of others), and would begin to help you to relax as much as possible. Ice packs, heating pads, gentle massages, maybe even a numbing potion here and there to help the pain (as much as he would love to always have you take the numbing potion, as he hates to see you in such pain), he does not want you to grow too dependent on them)
Whatever it is that you need, he is there. If you happen to be in class when this happens and he is there with you? He will casually help you with the writing. Now, he isn't giving you all the answers either, you still do that part on your own, but as it is less stressful for the afflicted limb, you have no complaints
All that matters, is that he is the hero in your eyes
Also knew of the affliction before he ever actually met you..... it's Rook, of course he already knew
Even if he believes that there is beauty in pain, there is no beauty in seeing the one you have grown rather fond of being in such a state, that renders even the most simplest tasks as nearly impossible
Once together, if it had been possible, he was with you or at least watching you every step of your day. He merely wishes to know what makes the pain worse and what may seem to help
At one point, a rare time where he wasn't able to keep an eye on you, Rook even used his own UM to be able to locate you (as you somehow, even he doesn't know how, manage to know how to stay hidden from the hunter), and it was safe to say no one had seen him move so fast
When he found you, safe within the confines of his room (how did he not think to check there? It had become a favored place for you to visit), your face was dried with tears, giving small hiccups in your sleep as he saw how your afflicted limb was tenderly wrapped within a heating pad
The pain must have been rather bad today if you came here to avoid being anywhere else as well as being away from everyone (honestly, who would ever willingly come to his room??)
Not wanting to disturb your slumber, Rook merely slid off his jacket, removed his hat, and would reside on the floor next to you
He would be here the moment that you woke up and needed him
Honestly had no idea as to what this condition was. Working on orchards for as long as he could remember, Epel had seen all types of pain and injuries. It came with the work, but this was certainly new to him
As to better help you, this man certainly did his research. He wanted to show that he could protect and care for you, after all
Learning that pretty much anything so simple can become virtually impossible without severe pain certainly made his chest tighten. Something so simple as writing or just brushing your teeth could cause the pain to flare
Also learned to not touch anywhere that the pain is currently residing as that could easily make it so much worse
The last thing he wants to do is cause you more pain
Once the two of you are together, he carried a backpack with him, aside from his school supplies being in it, it also holds anti-inflammatory medication, a brace, and anything else that could help
While some may mock or ridicule him, he sees it as him being a great partner for the one he loves
Vil praised him for this and it honestly felt really nice to hear. While Epel wasn't looking for such praise, it was nice to be recognized, especially when he was taking care of you
If there is anything that you need, anything at all that could help when the pain begins to flare once again, or even something simple, just let him know and he will get it for you
With how long that this fae has been around, it would honestly be a surprise if he had yet to hear of a condition such as this. Chances are, he has encountered many people in his time who suffer from this affliction
And now that he knows that you also suffer from such affliction, knowing just how hard it makes things, how much pain that it puts you in everyday?
If you thought he was doting then, this is a whole new level
As much as he really is wanting to help, it does seem a bit much (never eat anything he brings to you, just in case)
If it gets to be too much, just let him know what you really do need, and he will listen
When you show up in the middle of the night, eyes red from tears, Lilia automatically knows what is going on and ushers you gently into his room
He quickly leaves a message on his game, turns everything off, and climbs into bed next to you
Holding you carefully in his arms, he summons whatever magic he can to help numb wherever the pain is located
When you finally fall asleep, the pain now decreases to more of a dull throb, all he wishes, when he looks at those stars, is that this pain be taken away from you. It absolutely shatters his heart.
It takes him another good hour before he finally falls asleep next to you, after gently placing a kiss to the top of your head
Thank you for your request!! Have a wonderful day/night!
#twisted wonderland#twisted wonderland x reader#twst#twst x reader#shy writes#shy answers#disney twisted wonderland#romantic#twst imagines#twst vil schoenheit x reader#rook hunt x reader#epel felmier x reader#twst lilia vanrouge#vil schoenheit#rook hunt#Epel felmier#Lilia vanrouge#matchups closed#requests open
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i don't know anyone who writes wonwoo as perfect as you! you manage to capture his personality so well🥺could i please request a friends to lovers thing for wonu? you've been friends for YEARS and you've had your moments and hidden glances but this one night you're just sitting out and feeling the winter breeze together. he can feel you staring and asks why you're doing that..while you contemplate whether to give in and just confess. you're so overwhelmed with emotions for him but you're also so terrified to tell him bcos you're scared to change the dynamics your relationship has so far.
thank you so much for saying that about my writing, anon :') took me entirely too long but i had a sudden burst of inspiration after seeing the latest gam3 bo1 wonwoo with long hair 😵💫 hope you like this! title taken from the english version of crush by seventeen.
hearts in parallel — jeon wonwoo | 2,730 words | fluff
gender neutral reader. warnings: none.
wonwoo's standing outside your car in the parking lot of your office. part of you is convinced you're just imagining things, because he's supposed to be in japan. touring. doing idol things. having fun.
every morning you look forward to the pictures he's made a habit of sending whenever he's on tour, whether they're what he had for breakfast, or what a sleeping dokyeom looked like with a moustache drawn on his face. his only motive for doing that has been to convince you to let him take you on a vacation whenever you're free, because he says there's always something you'd enjoy wherever he goes.
it's sweet. it really is. even if you have to keep reminding him that you have your usual 9-5 that's so different from his schedules.
but it is wonwoo, when you focus on the way he's standing against the hood of your car, hands in his pockets as he looks at what you assume is the view of the sun setting in the distance. crazy how he'd sent a picture of it to you just today morning from another country.
suddenly, you fell woefully out-dressed. it's your usual work attire, but wonwoo's got his airport look on, complete with a dashing coat that you've never seen before. maybe he has it on only for today.
"surprise?" wonwoo asks sheepishly, when he catches you staring at him.
you blink once more, just in case. "wonwoo?" you ask, a little uncertain. "aren't you supposed to..."
"tour ended last night," he explains, pushing himself to stand properly. "i texted you afterwards."
you think back to the messages you exchanged last night, but they're a haze at best. all you can currently think of is your calendar you've been crossing things off of for a better part of the day.
any other time, you'd be extremely happy to see wonwoo, but today you don't feel like you can match his energy. "sorry," you murmur, rubbing your face. maybe if you rub it hard enough he'll disappear and you can catch up with him when you're a bit more presentable.
"hey, no," he says, catching your wrist as you pull your hands away. "you look perfectly fine. did i catch you at a wrong time?"
you realize you just said your last sentence out loud. "just tired," you say, proud of yourself at how even your voice is despite the fact that your hand is in his. "i'm glad you're here, though."
wonwoo lets go of your hand. "then is it fine if i drive you home?"
you look at him. he looks pretty serious, and you snort. "did you seriously come here just to drive me home?"
wonwoo nods. "straight from the airport. dropped my stuff home, then took a cab and came here."
no wonder he's still got the airport look on.
"you're a weird man, jeon wonwoo," you say, searching for your keys in your pocket.
"that's probably why we're friends," he deadpans, catching the keys you toss him.
"you should be sleeping," you say, chucking your bag on the backseat. "or resting at home. not being my chauffeur."
"maybe i wanted to be your chauffeur because i'm not sleepy," wonwoo replies, slipping on his seatbelt, waiting for you to do the same before starting your car. "it's been a while since we've hung out together."
that's true, you think. ever since you got this new job, your hours have been filled with work, and even though you're not overly swamped, you've been seeing your friends a bit less frequently than you would have liked. wonwoo included. and wonwoo's also had less time to spend with you, given how the band's been planning more foreign tours in the past year.
so you're glad you're spending time with him, even if you're not at your best.
"who said you don't look good?" wonwoo asks.
you bite your tongue when you realize you've spoken out your thoughts again — it's just a testament to how tired you are, with no filter between your thoughts and words. you shake your head, but wonwoo's not having any of it.
"i came here straight off my flight and i look absolutely dishevelled. you're lucky i don't mind you seeing me like this."
"your so-called dishevelled airport look is just as good as me at my best, so don't even start, okay?"
"yah," wonwoo says, laughing. "i don't appreciate you slandering yourself like that."
"fine, what do you appreciate?"
"you spending some time with me and not worrying about anything else."
blunt, as always. you appreciate it, even if it makes your heart jump a little. and it's not that you're worrying over anything: it's just the sudden nature of wonwoo's appearance that has you a little confused. but you're not complaining.
"by the way," wonwoo says, when you finally pull out onto the main road after leaving all the traffic behind, "i got you something."
"again? wonwoo, i told you i don't need souvenirs from every—"
"this was for your birthday, sweetheart," he says, pausing to pull something out of the pocket of his coat. "i still have your stuff from japan waiting to be unpacked."
"you're a menace, won," you say, hands hesitating to accept the slim box sitting on the dashboard. "i told you i didn't want anything."
"and i told you it'd be a crime if i didn't get you anything. maybe i would've listened to you if you didn't get that insanely expensive camera for me."
you glance at him. "that's—"
"—a completely valid argument," he retorts, reaching for the slim box and putting it in your lap. "i've been waiting to see your reaction ever since i got it."
shaking your head, you make a show of opening it. one thing about wonwoo is that he somehow always knows what to gift others. you could tell him you didn't want anything, and then he'd give you something you didn't even know you wanted.
case in point: there's a dainty silver chain sitting in the box, with the pendant looking very familiar. you take a closer look at it and realize—
"you didn't."
wonwoo has his mischievous grin on. "of course i did."
it's a customized engraving of your cat on the circular coin of metal, a perfect replica down to the little discoloured patch of fur on your cat's face.
you'd complained to wonwoo, once, drunkenly, about this really cute online jewellery store that sold customized necklaces. you'd never been able to find it again despite going through your search history and searching the web extensively.
now that it's sitting in your hands, you can't help but wonder how much time he must have spent tracking it down, finding the perfect picture for the engraving.
"i don't know how to thank you," you say honestly, looking at wonwoo. he still has the smile on his face, looking straight ahead.
"just wear it forever, and you're good."
"oh, emotionally manipulating me? is that how it's going to be?" you ask, tracing the chain with your finger.
"i don't think it's manipulation if it's your cat."
you can't argue with that. you snap the box shut and put it in the pocket of your jeans. "you shouldn't have, won," you say perfunctorily.
wonwoo doesn't respond, simply choosing to switch on the radio.
for once, you're not driving, and you get the chance to appreciate how beautiful the city looks when it's nearing night.
"you hungry?" wonwoo asks, when the car stops at a red light.
you shake your head. "not for a few more hours. you?"
"nope," wonwoo says, flexing his fingers on the wheel. "but tonight's a full moon night, so i was thinking we could go to the riverside and just hang out near the pier? if you're not too tired?"
you think about it. you get to hang out with wonwoo in the moonlight, which will definitely be a sight to behold. the way he's been living rent-free in your mind for a while now is embarrassing, to say the least.
"i don't mind."
you sneak glances at him when he's answers a call from dino asking him if he's free to hang out tomorrow, when he's excited to hear one of his own songs on the radio. he's cute, and the feeling's eating you up from the inside every single time you're with him.
he just looks so...boyfriend. he's let his hair grow out, and black really is his colour. not to mention his glasses which might just be your undoing.
wonwoo parks at a spot not far from the pier.
you get out of the car and immediately get hit by a gust of cool air, and you're really glad wonwoo decided to come pick you up today, because there's no way you would've come here by yourself.
the walkway around the river seems nicer than the last time you were here, bigger and better with more lights and somehow, lesser people. it's exactly what you need right now.
you fall in step alongside wonwoo, comfortably silent as you make your way from the car park, the relative silence amplifying the sound of insects chirping and people chattering around you.
you don't look down for a second, and suddenly there's a tiny pebble that gets stuck in your shoe and trips you up. you brace yourself for a slightly hard impact, but the next thing you know is that wonwoo's arm is around your waist, pulling you into himself.
"careful," he chides softly, rubbing your back for a moment before letting go. "are you okay?"
you nod mechanically.
"let's switch sides. the light's better here."
it's these little things that wonwoo does, that make you fall for him even more. what started off as a little crush is now a hopeless, helpless twinge in your heart that multiplies whenever you so much as look at him. no matter how much you've gotten better at controlling your feelings around him, you can't help but stare at how good he looks tonight, the moon highlighting his face, its silver beams running through his black hair.
you've really, really missed this. just hanging out with him. and maybe you miss the time before you realized your feelings were so earth-consumingly deep that it began clouding every interaction the two of you have had.
"do you have the box with you?" wonwoo asks, all of a sudden.
you question his words for a second, then remember. "yeah," you say, patting at the slim box sitting in the pocket of your jeans.
"let me put it on for you?"
what should have been a calm night out with wonwoo by the riverside has now ended up into you becoming a mess of nerves, your skin burning where his fingertips touch you, fastening the clasp into place. you can't see how it looks on you right now, but wonwoo already has a solution.
"stand here," he says, directing you to a particularly bright lamppost. "you need to see how good it looks on you."
you try protesting, but wonwoo brushes away your concerns. "let me just take a picture. just one."
it's never just one picture with wonwoo, and you can't stop him when he has his mind set on something. you give in and stand under the light and try to muster up a real smile for the camera. you succeed because it's wonwoo standing behind the camera, pulling a funny face that makes you laugh.
he shows you the photos once he's done taking them, and you're not looking at the camera in a single one. he always makes you look better than you do, somehow. you return the favour, taking pictures of him posing in the same spot.
"these are good," wonwoo remarks, scrolling through the photos. "i'm glad you got the moon, too."
you nod before you say something embarrassing like you're the moon, though. you watch as wonwoo takes some more pictures of the sky, and the life around the riverside. the restaurants and shops light up the view for you but you can't help but just look at wonwoo. he looks so serene and in his environment that you can't help but wonder if having wonwoo as your boyfriend would entail dates like this on a regular basis.
"you're staring," is all he says, after two full minutes of silence.
you hum and slowly turn your gaze away from him, focusing on the trees in the distance, trying to play it off casually. rookie error.
"is everything okay?" he asks, pocketing his phone and moving a bit closer to you. "want to go home?"
you shake your head. "you?"
"no, i'm fine."
and then his hand is covering yours.
you try your best not to freak out, but under his hand, your hand is gripping the railing so tightly that you're sure your knuckles are white.
"sorry i missed your birthday," wonwoo says, leaning in close enough that he's towering over you. it's the perfect height to k—
"it's not your fault," you say, licking your lips. "you had work. and you even called me when you were free."
"still. it doesn't make up for me not being here."
"i don't mind," you say honestly, your other hand gripping the railing for strength you don't currently possess. "you're here now."
wonwoo hums, seemingly dissatisfied. your hand's genuinely burning under his, and you resist the urge to check if it's on fire.
"well, for what it's worth," wonwoo says, turning to face you, "i hope you had a good day, and i hope i'm there for your birthday next year. like a good friend."
"you are a good friend, won," you say quietly. "the best."
you wonder if you should just give in and tell him how you feel. given you know how mature he is, you doubt he's going to shun you the way you're afraid he will, but part of you doesn't want your dynamic to change. he's so easy to talk to, and he knows so much about you, and you're afraid of having to find it all over again in another person. maybe it's for the best to let this moment pass.
"you are too, sweetheart." his thumb brushes against the back of your hand, and something in you snaps.
"would you still consider me the best if i told you i liked you?"
wonwoo blinks. in the wake of his silence you can once again hear the vehicles on the road behind you, the sounds of people around you, and maybe even your heart if you shut your eyes.
"you know," he says after a while, his grip on your hand still in place, "i've been trying to give you a chance to say that for the past few months."
your brain plays a comically loud record scratch sound. you look up at him, but he's smiling.
"what."
"i...was hoping there would be a small chance you liked me, and then jeonghan let it out one night when we were out drinking. but i couldn't make the first move because i was scared."
"you were scared? of?"
wonwoo takes his hand back and rubs his neck sheepishly. "i didn't know if he was telling me the truth or making things up. you know jeonghan."
"...yeah," you say, brain still trying to get back on track. "so right now i have one more person on my hitlist."
"whoa, what? i just...implied i liked you!"
"and i just said— wait. what?"
wonwoo laughs. "do you want to be on the same page as me?"
you nod slowly, still processing things. still not believing your luck.
"here's what we'll do, then," wonwoo says, wrapping an arm around your shoulder. "i'm going to drive you home tonight. then we can take jeonghan off your hitlist and send him some more alcohol, just as a thanks."
you wouldn't even have imagined this a few hours ago. you trail your fingers along the railing, reaching out to hold wonwoo's hand again. he meets your fingers with ease. "and what do i get in return?"
"you get to call me your boyfriend. and kiss me, if you like." wonwoo's leaning over you again. it's the perfect height to kiss you.
and he does end up kissing you, this time.
taglist: @bookyeom @wootify @strnsvt @cloudycaramel @thepoopdokyeomtouched @minnieminshi @nonononranghaee
#just had to get this out of my drafts#literally NO one like him btw#jeon wonwoo#jeon wonwoo fluff#wonwoo#wonwoo fluff#fluff#seventeen#seventeen fluff#svt#svt fluff#waldau writes#req
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