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batmanfruitloops · 4 months ago

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Hi! Im having trouble with starting my first Batman AU and I love the one you two have so I was wondering if you have and tips or pointers of starting one? Like maybe how to introduce characters and such or how to start the story?

Im sorry if this was long or if its too much, have a great day/night!

I think it really depends on what you want out of it. I use this AU to practice skills for my career, such as writing, character-building, animating, etc. I listen to a lot of videos about every part of film production to help me better understand what to do. Especially things related to character. Even if your AU is just for fun, I think it's still a good idea to do a little research about writing. Observing your favorite movies and films helps a lot! I think animated films are a great teacher of storytelling! Especially Pixar films, since their philosophy is "story is king". Watching movies is just how I personally learn, you may have some other way of learning best so take all this with a grain of salt, I'm no expert I'm just very passionate about storytelling especially through animation (though in this case, it's storyboards/comics since that's what is possible right now).

Your characters are everything. I would suggest developing them as much as possible before you introduce them. They should feel like a real and complex person. They shouldn't feel like a robot that are only made to achieve their motivation. Sometimes simple things like "What are their favorite foods?" can start building them up as a person. They should have flaws, blemishes, strengths, hobbies, everything a living person should have. That way when you introduce them, you will have an easier time showing your audience who they are. First impressions are very important to characters, your audience should be able to understand what kind of person they are right off the bat. I think a good example is Gene Wilder as Willy Wonka. The whole point of his introductory scene is to tell the audience "he is unpredictable and you will never know what to expect from him." Show don't tell is a very important rule to follow, don't tell your audience what to think.

For starting your story, you need to consider when it is. Is it at the beginning, middle, or end? You can put your audience anywhere in the story, so think about the optimal place they should be for the story to make sense. There are many different versions of Batman but they all begin in a different place of Batman's life. Some stories start at the beginning of him becoming Batman like The Dark Knight, and some start at the end of him being Batman like the Arkham series. It's up to you to consider at what point of your character's life the audience should be placed at.

To be honest, it's all up to you. What do you want? How do you want things to be done? This is all just a big case of "learn the rules to break the rules." Maybe you don't even want to learn the rules at all, and that's ok. It's important to remember to make what you want to see. Your art is for you. There is no right way, just some ways are more efficient than others. Let your soul make its messy finger paintings and enjoy the ride. Because more important than anything is the enjoyment of your work and the process. I have a hard time not being a perfectionist over this AU because it's what I want to do with my life. I want to tell stories. I have to keep reminding myself this is for fun, and it's ok if it's not perfect. It just has to be what I want to make. Honestly, I could ramble on and on about storytelling, so I'll save an 8-page essay (which I actually wrote on a similar topic for class). My DMs are open anyway if you want to ask anything else. I hope this was helpful!

I also agree heavily that your characters should feel like people. And along with that, pacing is really important. You don't want your story to feel rushed or lagging at any point. Like Fluffy said, it's always a good idea to reference your favorite materials. It's good to have moments that are just very real, for lack of a better word.

It's also important to understand your setting. The main focus may be the characters, but you want to make sure they feel present, and not just in a void. Establishing shots are really good for that, since it shows off a large area, then allows you to "voom in" and focus on where ever there's action happening. Reference photos are your best friend here. Use as many as you need, it'll only get easier with time. Which leads to another part of settings; if you're in a characters home/base what makes it theirs? Like how the Riddler usually has question marks and scribbles all over the walls, as well as generally being a mess. It gives you an immediate impression of how scatterbrained and paranoid he can be. In comparison, someone like the Penguin presents a clean, luxurious lounge that shows he means business. Whether or not a character is meant to go through a defining change, it's important that they stay true to themselves as a person. If they had trust issues before, they shouldn't trust someone without a reason. Or perhaps someone makes a mistake, that mistake should have consequences. I just think of this because there's a lot of cartoons where something will happen one episode only for it to be treated like it didn't happen in the next episode. Dialogue is also another important factor. Does that feel like something you could actually hear someone saying? Does the grammar make sense? If their natural pauses? This can be broken up from panel to panel, if it's in comic form. Depending, you can give characters different fonts to emphasize that they sound different, although I'm not an expert in that, it's just something I've seen before.

Again, pacing of characters talking (or thinking, etc.) is a must to be aware of. If spoke that aloud, does it feel rushed? Too slow? Are they giving enough context? As the writer, you know everything that's going to happen. Because of that, writing incomplete sentences can happen. That doesn't mean you have to explain everything in simple terms for everyone, just enough for it to make sense and feel real. If you're going for a comic, layout is another factor to consider. Read as many comics are you want. Stare at how it's set out, how everything flows from one panel to another, one page to another. I'm not much good at this one myself yet, so I just suggest looking at your favorite layouts and figuring out what about them you like. A bit of what I've learned is to consider what's happening. What I mean is, if everything is very straight forward, you can do a bunch of box panels, whereas if you're meant to feeling something along with a character, you can go more organic, there doesn't necessarily need to be boundaries in scenes like that, and a mix is generally good for most scenes. A whole establishing shot can be one page and do plenty.

I tend to ramble, and I have a lot of other stuff that I'm passionate about with writing and visual in comics/storytelling, like colors, symbolism, and lighting, and character design so my dms are also open for anyone who'd like is discuss more, :)

Fluffy and Sarsee

#batmanfruitloops #anewgothamau #answers #fluffy sqeaks #sars babbles

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a-vicious-faithless-angel · 3 months ago

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I want to preference this with at the end of the day, i am one random person and anyone can do whatever. Alright?

That being said. I wish people realized or at least understood that shipping something that isn't "healthy" means the person thinks this is good or okay. Its the same mentality people have with "if you shoot in game u must want to hurt people irl" and its like...no. When i talk of characters/ships like David x Simon, Clancy x Lucas, or Woods x Hackett/Dauda x Bishop, i think its interesting to dive into a relationship that isn't healthy or good for a character. In these characters the characters knows and understands that this love is unhealthy and hurts/destroys them but does it anyway out of this soft like devotion they have. They know what they have going on is wrong, i do not make this to be they're obvious and its just cutesy fun stuff!! They know and understand that it hurts them.

Simon is well aware that loving David breaks him but he's scared to lose someone that made him feel like maybe there could be a place made for him. That David wants to give something to Simon they know they can't? But does it regardless because it feels nice. Do you not think Clancy didn't think about the outcome of loving Lucas? That he was loving someone sick but did it anyway not to fix him but because he couldn't help but find the scenario almost comical. How someone who wanted him in pain would get distraught of the thought of losing his victim. He plays into it. Do you not think Woods not understand that he should not love Hackett because it feeds into a obsessive devotion? But Hackett wanted to feel like something he wasn't so he found himself entangled by the corrupt love handed to his scarred hands.

That is not to say these characters can never have a soft moment or love each other without pain. Their love is not complete misery. They have warm moments of laughing and cuddling closer to the other. They stand fingers intertwined as they watch the sun and the moon carefully walk around.

Love is complex, it can be very ugly but also tragically beautiful. Ig when i hear people say you cant ship xyz because "it makes you a bad person!!!" Mentality it pisses me off because relationships [of any kind] can be horrific and shitty, they can be twisted and messy, they're characters built to be human. They make mistakes they feed into their own greed they scrap for something they've been wanting for decades. They can be aware they scare the other but can't stop themselves. Ik in the act of shipping it comes across as tho i support their actions but...this is fictional. Its not real. I support their actions in a fictional view because if one really wanted to dissect their lover and keep everything from the inside irl that be a little scary, but in a fictional world fuckin go wild.

The same goes for relationships we already see in media. Looks kindly at Mia and Ethan. Eye twitches their love will never be perfect but they love each other regardless because who else is left to understand the scars they have without having to speak?

#idk rambles 💟#4525 #clancus #Fallen Beasts [Ship]#like yall think 1 character wanting to kill for the other is hot #but someone viewing their lover as a god is where yall draw the line?#mfr #sighsss sorry gang #me when i feel passionate about stupid shit n feel the rare time to post it to tumblr.com #toxic yoai #toxic yuri #my favorite GET ON MY LEVEL #or dont idc

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xenofact · 1 year ago

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Bad Knowledge

I’ve been fascinated by Taoism in all its breadth for nearly three decades. Under this umbrella you’ll find philosophy, medicine, folk religion, meditative practices, and plenty of accumulated and purged bullshit. You’ll also find some interesting thoughts on knowledge that are thought-provoking - or just provoking.

The philosophical classic the Tao Te Ching has sections that seem to question the value of knowledge while praising the values of simplicity and emptiness. Taoist battles with Confucians - famous for rules and rites one must memorize - are legendary and sometimes hilarious. Taoist mystics both craved understanding and secrets on attaining the Tao, but also loved simple lives and avoiding complication. Taoism in general seems to ask the question “hey, is knowing things always a good thing?”

As a person who craves information these writings and riddles and tales often bedeviled me. I loved learning new things, but also could see how pointless rituals and rules could mire one in unreality. I craved to know but also saw how one’s head could be the equivalent of a messy room.

I mean I got the iddea of meditating and avoiding over-stimulation. But questioning knowledge? Well that I sort of got - and sort of wondered if Taoists overdid it or if some of it was just famous Taoist humor that I didn’t get.

Then this year, while reading a translation of the Tao Te Ching I hadn’t seen, I suddenly “got” that yes, indeed, knowledge can be bad in some circumstances. For that I would like to thank various podcasts on conspiracy theories and mystical bullshit, and of course, a good chunk of the internet.

How many people fill their heads with conspiracy theories, elaborate nonsense that solidifies both their bigotries and ignorance? Ensnared in complex falsehoods (often promoted by grifters), they “know�� what is right and can easily commit, assist, or ignore atrocities. Their “knowledge” means they know less than someone ignorant of their twisted beliefs.

Some people pick up religious and spiritual practices from assorted scammers and self-deluding messiahs. Diving into “ancient” practices invented a handful of years ago, they occupy themselves with spiritual exercises that are neither. Their “knowledge” takes them nowhere - and is in fact, a weight that holds them back.

And finally there are the people with heads full of information where, shall we say, they overestimate it’s value. If you’ve ever watched people in a battle of fandom trivia or obscure facts, you get the idea. Some of this knowledge may be fun, but people take it way too seriously - which distorts the more important fun part.

Some knowledge isn’t all that, well, knowledgeable.

Sure, we may know about bad things like the above. I find great value in studying conspiracy theories to understand people and to understand dangers. But this is a kind of selective knowing, a knowing that is guarded.

So now, in part, I get the Taoist ideas that knowledge isn’t always something that’s good. One has to consider the value of the information, of the space it takes up in one’s head, and what one does with it. Just knowing isn’t always a benefit, and in some contexts is an outright negative.

And yes, I appreciate the irony of contemplating the value of knowing means I know the value of not knowing. Which, come to think of it, does fit the famous irony and humor of the Taoists, so I’m good with that.

- Xenofact

#taoism #knowledge #culture #psychology

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scarfacemarston · 1 year ago

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Could i maybe get some hc's abouutttt JohnxAbigailxNonbinary Reader??? 👀 i love a good throuple!!!

Finally got this done! I wanted it finished before pride month ended, but I had work. : / It's 2 pages! If anyone likes it, please reblog! This took forever to write, but I was happy to do it! <3 So - boring logistics first - How you met!

I think it could go two ways; Abigail finally finds someone who understands her on a different level than John does and potentially feels guilty when feelings emerge - or John finds a lovely partner that makes him feel something powerful in its own way - and he finds that you have something that would spark something in Abigail. She'd suspect cheating until she heard John out about you. Abigail and John are so complex and sometimes messy. Lol You would need to be prepared for that, and occasionally, you may need to be a buffer between the two, but I can see Abigail and John working VERY diligently to make sure that their arguments do not spill onto you. Jack is informed at a young age, and he's totally fine with it. Kids, especially Jack, are more intelligent than they are credited with. Kids can be very open, and he's one of them! However, Abigail and John would make sure you both are comfortable with each other. (Depending on if Abigail was in the relationship with you first, that is even more important.) Now to the fun stuff! * Abigail needs help with cooking. Desperately. You could be the worst cook in the world, but you would still be better than her. If not, then your job is to ensure the house doesn't burn down and provide moral support. *You'd be a good influence on them having a bit more fun! With another adult and trying to make everyone happy, the occasional outing might become more than occasional, even better if you get to take Jack along. Abigail isn't sure about movies, so you and John tend to go to those. But Abigail loves plays! John tends to be a bit more bored by most of them and "doesn't get it." Even if they aren't your favorite, you tend to go to some of them with her to make her happy. * John is very timid about holding hands, but he will. He prefers gloves on with most things because "I feel naked," But you insist you like his hands and kiss the scars on his knuckles. Abigail is shy about it because open affection is just something she wasn't shown, but she's happy to do so with you! *Abigail leaves you sweet little gifts that you just happen to find unexpectedly. Sometimes it's a snack hidden or something she made herself, or even something special she bought at the store. She also writes notes with nothing but your name and a heart. It's not the neatest, and she's shy about it, but she tried. (Reminder that Abigail can't read or write, but likely knows her signature and later would have to know John and Jack's. She'd be sure to learn yours, too!) She wishes she could write you longer notes because she knows you'll be more receptive. She's shy to do so and worried John will tease her. (He won't, but she doesn't know that.) Sometimes, she whispers things in your ear when she thinks you're asleep at night. *John also tries to write for you. It's so sweet and earnest………but super dorky. He's not good with romance at all, but he tries. He has horrible flirty lines but also attempts at something that could be like poetry. His sloppy handwriting makes it even sweeter.

*You tend to ride Abigail's horse more often than John's since Abigail doesn't leave the house as much - but ever since being in a relationship with you - you sure as hell make sure she can have a bit more freedom to do as she pleases whether it's you accompanying / "driving" her to where she needs to go, or watching after Jack and shooing her out of the house. However, Jack starts giggling one day like crazy and bouncing excitedly. You can tell it's secret while Uncle pushes him. John and Abigail come home with a new horse for you of your own. You had been sighing dreamily going past the stables for weeks, and they always talked about one of your own, but Abigail would have killed you all if you or John stole one, and none of you could afford one. Jack had just had a few catalogs with him over the past months, and you talked animately about which ones you would have liked. Lo and behold, after months of saving, they called you to the barn, where a lovely new mare was tacked for you, ready to go. They were grins were magnificent and wide, and you knew yours matched theirs. NSFW :) * Bigger bed, obviously. ; ) IMO Abigail and John are both versatile. (I think both are too complex to be in one category. Sometimes John likes to watch, sometimes Abigail does and is something of a cock doula, but sometimes, you're the cock doula, and sometimes even John and Pegging are involved with at least one partner. You have to work to keep John quiet. He's a loud moaner and tries his damndest to keep his voice down. *You manage to scrounge up money for a ……….personal device. A massager, if you will….It changes your sex lives forever, even if it is louder than you all would like.

#john marston x reader #abigail roberts x reader #john marston #abigail roberts #abigail marston #van der linde gang #john marston x gender neutral reader #abigail marston x gender neutral reader #abigail marston x reader #abigail marston x gender neutral reader #john marston x abigail marston #jack marston

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ashesandhackles · 2 years ago

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8 TV Shows

Thanks for the tag @yletylyf <3 <3

Rules: list eight TV shows for your followers to get to know you better! 1. Buffy the Vampire Slayer Years, years ago, I sporadically watched earlier seasons of Buffy and enjoyed it for the campy fun they were. And then I watched, "Innocence" - Season 2, episode 14 and I was obsessed with Buffy Summers. Buffy Summers is that one character of all time for me - she is heroic, aspirational but she is also flawed and messy and so delightfully complex. I love her and I forever have a soft spot for Sarah Michelle Gellar for playing her.

2. Fruits Basket

I first read Fruits Basket as a manga, saw the first anime adaptation and the reboot came out during the pandemic. Fruits Basket is a very important piece of media to me because of the way it tackles abuse and the nature of systemic abuse. The show/ manga's ideas of rehabilitative justice were truly ahead of its time. Also the anti hero of the story is my all time fixation - Shigure Sohma.

3. Inuyasha

Another long running manga turned anime. Something about this series turns me into a nostalgic goo. It's probably Rumiko Takahashi's brand of characters, where there is something interesting going on with each of them. But my forever love from the series is Sango, the girl who crawls out of her own grave <3

4. Fushigi Yugi

I greatly dislike the main lead in this anime, I great dislike the romance in this series but my heart went out to the antagonist, the main lead's once best friend Yui Hongo. And if this series wasn't so enamored with its ridiculously cheesy and tiresome main romance (i do not have enough criticism for how truly bad it is, believe me), it had decent worldbuilding and politics. A fact that the original manga author knew and corrected with her spin off prequel - the vastly superior manga Fushigi Yugi: Genbu Kaiden (with likable main heroine! an intense romance that never takes over the plot!). She is currently writing Fushigi Yugi: Byakko Senki and I am curious to see what she does there.

5. Nana

Nana is about my early 20s life lol. Co-dependent, almost romantically charged friendship with a roommate/best friend? Check. Misogynist, controlling boyfriends? Check. Intense but fucked up relationships? Check. It's like this show reached into my heart and displayed it to the world.

6. Shadow and Bone

I'll be honest: my interest in the show is largely due to the fact that I have read the Six of Crows duology and loved those books. I only read the original Shadow and Bone series recently, just so I can keep with the main plotline in season 2 and boy, the original trilogy is very poor lol. The only thing that has bones of something interesting is Darkling and his relationship with Alina, and watching Season 2, I feel the show writers aren't comfortable tapping into that. Too much time moralising "this is bAd!!" - lol, yes we know. It is very childish finger-wagging writing, and it's very boring and not at all reflective of human experience (Shadow and Bone writers need to watch Nana to understand how to write abusive relationships without making it look like they are doing 'Toxic Ex Boyfriend for Dummies'). The reasons why Crows shine so much is because they are based on books that are good. And I agree with general consensus that the moral universe of the Crows and the Shadow and Bone stories do not match at all, and it creates horrible discrepancies in narrative framing.

7. Cowboy Bebop

This is a show that has influenced my writing the most: dream-like vigenettes for characters? People dreaming and having nightmares? Characters stuck in the past? I wish I could be as subtle and genre-bending as this show often was. So beautiful.

8. Death Note

If you have inhaled animes during your teen years, you won't go without bingeing Death Note. Fantastic premise, fantastic protagonist and just outright brutal to watch. I keep returning to it time and again.

Tagging @merlins-sequined-hotpants @hinnyfied @bluethepineapple @phantomeo @thedreamermusing @turanga4

#tag games

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thexgrayxlady · 4 months ago

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What I Read in July 2024

The Adventures of Amina Al-Sirafi by S.A. Chakraborty - 4.50/5.00

If you could synthesize a book in a lab, just for me, this would be very close to the end result.

This was a fun, swashbuckling adventure, staring a retired pirate and her middle-aged crew. I love how despite being older, the characters are all still hot messes and absolute menaces to society. Amina, despite trying to reform for her kid, is still an adventurer at heart and you feel how much she loves being back on the sea, getting into misadventures. I was having too much of a good time to take too many notes.

Also Raksh sucks so much. He's just the worst. I love him. I want him to keep trying to serve Amina magical divorce papers forever.

It's really just held back by its ties to her previous series, which is mainly a personal grievance because I'm finding interconnected universes, especially when they don't need to be there, increasingly uninteresting. The part on the Peri's island drags a lot and they take a lot of the tension out of the ending.

The book has a fun, Raiders-esque feel to it. The plot unfolds at a pretty fast pace and I never got tired of the hijinks the characters got into getting the band back together.

Voyage of the Basilisk by Marie Brennan - 3.00/5.00

I'm always weirdly disappointed by these books. Like, they're not unenjoyable, but I always feel like there isn't enough focus on the speculative biology of dragons. The pacing for this book is a lot better than the previous entries, it gets right to business on Isabella's voyage around the world to study dragons. It's very accessible and easy to read. When the dragons are on page, they're really interesting. I really liked the illustrations. Unfortunately, I'm just not terribly interested in the politics of this world.

Wicked Beauty by Katee Robert - 3.50/5.00

I gave Katee Robert another chance and I liked this so much better than Electric Idol. Wicked Beauty made for a fun and easy beach read. The characters are less annoying, except for Hermes and Dionysus, who are, yet again, just so irritating. I hated every second they were on page. Fortunately, there was not very much of them.

I really liked Helen, Achilles, and Patroclus. They had a fun dynamic between them. I appreciate that while they come to care about each other, they have incompatible goals at first and they eventually work to figure out how to make their relationship work. They're all messy bisexual assholes and I loved watching them being messy bisexual assholes.

The ratio of porn to plot was a lot better in this book. The plot is kind of dumb, but it's entertainingly dumb and, let's be honest, you're not reading this series for the plot. There are some things from the plot that I would have changed, one of them is genuine and the other is just a personal preference. I wish that Helen defeating Paris had been from her POV and had more time and weight dedicated to it. It felt like the author was rushing to the end here. I also wish there had been more drama around Patroclus' injuries in the second trial, but that's just my preference. Hiding injuries is my catnip. It was dangled in front of me and then jerked away. Like the football. Jail for Katee Robert. Jail for 1000 years!

Mistborn by Brandon Sanderson - 2.75/5.00

I see the appeal of these books. They do not appeal to me.

To it's credit, it is very accessible. Maybe a little too much so for my taste. I am, admittedly, a pretentious asshole. This could have been a fun book. At times, it is very close to being a very fun book. Unfortunately it settles for being the MCU of fantasy in both a complementary and a derogatory sense.

The language is very simple, to the point where the few times where complex vocabulary was used, it was somewhat jarring. I think I can count on one hand the number of times figurative language was used. Everything is very surface level, if it's what you're in the mood for, I could see it being very easy to turn your brain off and enjoy this and not have to worry too much about missing out on subtext.

That being said, everything is explained so often that you have to ask yourself if Sanderson thinks his readers are stupid. You just want to tell him that yeah, you got the point like three paragraphs ago, just get on with it. The over explanation of the, admittedly interesting, magic, the simple plot, and the beyond simple characters lead to the book feeling tensionless and bloated.

I actually like the magic system. When it wasn't being explained every other paragraph. Learning about Allomancy became very repetitive fast and I think at least half of it could have been kept in the appendix for a much tighter book. And because it was so overstated, I became kind of pedantic about it. The magic system doesn't even go as far as it could with its own logic. Why can they push and pull non-magnetic metals? Why is that road copper when it could be a much cooler magnetic metal? You could have a road made out of cobalt or neodymium or even nickel if you wanted something more mundane. Why is pewter the metal that makes you stronger when it's really soft and malleable in real life?

The world itself feels more like a themepark version of itself than an actual lived in world. I wouldn't care about this so much, but Sanderson gets so much praise for his worldbuilding and I do not get it. This is due at least in part to how flat and lifeless the characters are.

Vin is wildly inconsistent. She says over and over and over again that she doesn't trust people and she expects to betray her. Yet every time she encounters someone betraying someone else and she becomes surprised pikachu. Like, she should not need to have what noblemen do to Skaa women explained to her. She should not be shocked and appalled by it. She grew up with that threat constantly hanging over her head. She should not like or trust the nobility as much as she does, as quickly as she does. From the very beginning, she feels more like a sheltered noblewoman than a homeless orphan who makes a living by stealing.

I've very rarely encountered a character as annoying as Kelsier. You can practically see him tip his goddamn fedora and hear him say, "M'lady." I'm not sure a whole chapter goes by without one character or another extolling the virtues of the goddamn Mary Sue. He has one pretty good moment, when he returns to the Pits of Hathsin, and another when Sanderson has another all too brief flash of really good writing with Kelsier's death. The first is nearly immediately undercut when Kelsier single-handedly destroys the Pits in two pages and meets so little resistance in doing so that it feels like he could have done that whenever he wanted to. If he could so easily do this, why does the rest of the plan even need to happen?

Sazed's the best character and even then, he's still wish.com Alfred Pennyworth.

Because the main characters are so overpowered and the antagonists have very little presence on the page, plot has no tension. Everything just feels too easy for the characters. Everything more or less goes according to plan. And when it doesn't, it doesn't feel like they have to struggle to get things back on track. At the end, I had to ask myself what was the point of 2/3 of the book spent gathering the army when Vin and Kelsier were going to solo everything.

The tension is not helped by calling the oppressed underclass The Skaa.

The logbook bits at the start of the chapters are the most interesting part of the book because they're allowed to stand more or less on their own and they don't tell the reader everything that happens, then explain it in the narration, then have the characters discuss it again just to make sure that the reader knows what happened.

Admittedly, the last fifty pages are a blast, but you shouldn't have to slog through six hundred pages of repetitive, annoying, beige prose to get there. The Lord Ruler's entrance is really cool and creepy. What Vin does with the metal arrowheads is creative and frankly just nifty. Unfortunately, my copy had several misprinted pages right when it was getting good, so I couldn't really even enjoy that.

At the end of the day, it honestly feels like Sanderson would rather be writing manuals for a TTRPG than a novel.

Mirrored Heavens by Rebecca Roanhorse - 3.50/5.00

The cover is less criminally ugly than Fevered Star!

I want so badly to like this book more than I do. Unfortunately, it inherits too many problems from the previous book to land as effectively as it could. The author still has to scramble to move characters into place because of how much time the previous book wasted futzing around.

The whole Teek storyline feels rushed and I feel like Xiala should have gone through most of it in the previous book. If her mother, aunt, and the matrons were given more time to develop, then their massacre would have had more of an impact. The scene on the beach where she starts to Sing is really good and I wish that it had the impact it deserved. That being said, once it gets off of the Teek islands, watching her come into her powers is pretty cool and her storyline moves much more smoothly. Her reunion with Serapio is very cute and I love their relationship.

Naranpa's storyline ultimately feels superfluous and hastily tacked on as the conflict pivots away from the Crow God and the Sun God. At the end of the last book, I thought we would get at least something interesting happening at the Graveyard of the Gods and it just never happens. I feel like you could cleanly excise her parts from the book and very little would be lost. It's ultimately just so shallow and disconnected from everything else that it's hard to care.

None of Balem's flashbacks were needed and just leave the book feeling bloated. Frankly, I don't think that Balem's POV is needed to begin with. You could get just about everything you needed from that with some minor tweeks to Iktans.

Serapio's POV is easily one of the strongest. There's a scene with the man he thinks is is father that's so good. You get such a strong sense of his religious trauma and why he feels like his destiny is his only option. You really understand why he latches so strongly onto anybody who treats him like an actual human, like Okoa and Xiala.

Like. I loved the first book in this series. I love these characters. This is such an interesting world. I know it doesn't seem like it from this review, but I like this book. There's a lot of very good stuff in here. It's just held back too much by mistakes made in the previous entry and I wanted it to be better.

#Gray Reads Stuff #I'm very sorry I'm being salty about Mistborn it's honestly Fine #It is aggressively Fine #It is definitely a put together book product #I'm just very tired about being nice about it IRL because my friend is trying to get back into reading fantasy and I'm being supportive #I couldn't fit in my note about Sanderson also having the prose equivalent of watery plain oatmeal #like please its been six hundred pages at least give me a walnut. I don't even like walnuts but at least it would be more interesting

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testudoaubrei-blog · 3 years ago

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Well, it’s not quite a master’s thesis, but this is (the first of) a series of posts on why Catra and Adora are the best love story in the history of kids TV animation and maybe the greatest love story in the history of TV. This may in some ways be faint praise - romance on TV is generally not very good compared with books or movies. Often it’s just some will they/won’t they sexual tension that is defused by getting characters together and re-heightened by breaking them up. TV is full of nearly shark jumping pointless dramas like Sam and Diane (Cheers, holy fuck am I dating myself, though that was technically before my time), Ross and Rachel (Friends, which was no Cheers) etc, but also some less annoying couples like Ben and Leslie (Parks and Rec) or Amy and Jake (Bk99) who are mostly just kind of cute and fun. Other shows, like the X-Files, teased viewers for years with unresolved sexual tension. In kids shows most romances are, appropriate for their target viewers, mild, sweet relationships based more on self-conscious flirting and blushing than on complex and conflicted feelings or deep passions - which is pretty realistic when the characters are young teens or even mid-teens. Some of these relationships are really well done - Finn and Flame Princess, Dipper and Pacifica (yeah I ship them), the early stages of Katara and Aang (before the showrunners imbued this childhood crush with cosmic significance), Steven and Connie, etc. Catra and Adora, though, are different. Their love story is not a side plot or a sub plot, it’s the heart of the show. It isn’t a childhood crush, it’s a very messy and passionate relationship between two young adults. She-Ra is an emotionally complex lesbian romance just as much as it is a thrilling action/adventure show. Everything about their relationship is baked into the show’s plot, its themes, hell even its musical score. The dramatic tension between Catra and Adora is not the result of stretching out a flirtation for ratings, but a coherent dramatic arc that runs through the entire show. As Noelle said, he made Catradora so central that execs couldn’t take it out without ruining the show. And the show is better for it. In this series of posts I’m going to try to show why, as well as showing why She-Ra is such a fantastic love story.

First off, let’s talk about how Catra and Adora’s character arcs are foils for each other, and how they come together and apart through the series. This is actually a post that I’ve been working on for a while but I keep summarizing the show rather than cutting to the chase, so I’m not going to recite many plot points so much as sketch out what’s going on with the dramatic structure at the time. But also, let’s talk about what each character’s arc is saying, and how they are commenting on each other. Spoiler alert: Catra’s arc is a subversion and critique of stories of empowerment through ruthless self-assertion and revenge, while Adora’s arc is a subversion and critique of chosen one narratives and stories of self-denial and self-transcendence.

When the show starts, Adora and Catra are shown as rivals and friends - their first scene starts the recurring motif of them reaching out for each other as one of them dangles above an abyss, as well as establishing their flirtatious banter and easy camaraderie. We quickly learn that these two young women plan to conquer the world together. These scenes and later flashbacks show Catra and Adora as deeply enmeshed in each others lives, to the point where neither of them (but especially Catra) have clear identities outside of one another. There is so much genuine love on both sides before Adora leaves, but also resentment, envy and fear, especially on Catra’s side, as well as a protectiveness on Adora’s side that deprives Catra of her autonomy. They are both being abused by Shadow Weaver - Catra physically and emotionally, Adora emotionally. It wouldn’t be too much to say that Shadow Weaver holds Catra hostage to control Adora (this is why critiques that Adora abandoned Catra to be abused are actually kind of messed up, since they accept Shadow Weaver’s premise that Adora is responsible for what Shadow Weaver does to Catra). In addition, Catra and Adora actually see the world incredibly differently. Adora already sees the world in terms of right, wrong and her destiny to right wrongs - this is why it’s important for her to accept the Horde’s obvious lies - she couldn’t keep living if she didn’t. Catra, on the other hand, sees the world solely in terms of survival and personal loyalty - everything for her is about preserving herself and the person she cares about - Adora.

Then, when Adora finds the sword, she leaves because it’s the right thing to do. Catra doesn’t even have a concept of ‘the right thing to do’ being something she should care about, or perhaps, something she can care about as an irredeemably evil, awful fuck-up. So at Thaymor neither one understands where the other is coming from, and Catra and Adora begin to part. This is the first turning point in their relationship. Adora chooses duty over what she desires, Catra chooses to protect herself (such as she sees it) and nurse her sense of betrayal and abandonment.

Their relationship until Promise is a kind of weird Frenemy thing that is fascinating to watch and sold me on the show. Neither one wants to fully admit to themselves that the other is now their enemy, neither one has given up on changing the other’s mind. Each is furious at the other, and desperate to see her again at the same time. There’s a lot of heartache and just as much sexual tension, especially at Princess Prom. Both of them come alive when they fight each other (more about that in a later post). But they’re already growing apart - Adora embracing her destiny as She-Ra, Catra rising in the ranks for the Horde. Adora now has the purpose she always wanted, plus other friends and a sense of being chosen to do something great, while Catra now has power - the means to protect herself from people like Shadow Weaver as well as the vindication she had always been denied, and even the opportunity to beat Shadow Weaver at her own game.

The next turning point is Promise. Holy fuck, this episode. It’s an episode that is even more heartbreaking after you’ve watched the show because you know just how much worse things are going to get, and yet, it’s a necessary part of both of their character arcs. Even through season 1 Catra and Adora had remained very much enmeshed in each others lives in an increasingly fucked up way as they grew apart but refused to turn away from each other. Even though they aren’t -exactly- a romantic couple (Adora doesn’t recognize and acknowledge her feelings until the last episode of Season 5), Season 1 of She-Ra is one of the worst breakups I have seen on TV. As I said in a couple of previous posts, this is the kind of shit that the Mountain Goats write songs about. Everything that was poisoning their love for each other even before episode 1 bubbles to the surface and combines with them fighting on opposite sides of the war to make a truly fucked up situation. In the end, it’s Catra that makes the choice to turn away from Adora. This isn’t a -good- decision. It’s spiteful, and destructive, and based on an outright deluded understanding of their relationship (inspired by Light Hope’s manipulations and her own issues), but it’s in some ways a necessary decision. Catra has been so wrapped up in Adora for so long that she isn’t going to be able to figure out who -she- is without cutting Adora out of her life. And the same is true of Adora.

But each of them do this in about the worst way possible. Catra embraces destruction, ambition, manipulation and outright cruelty, turning the tactics of her abusers against them and against everyone around her. She first triumphs over Shadow Weaver and manipulates Entrapta into trying to corrupt Etheria itself. Meanwhile Adora ‘lets go’ and commits herself to the self-denying mantle of She-Ra. Over the next several seasons, their respective paths will nearly lead both Catra and Adora to their deaths (in the Season 4 finale).

For the next season (counting season 2 and 3 as one) Catra and Adora are still closely linked, but as enemies. Still, there’s more than enough flirtation between them (that ‘Hey Catra’ in the first episode of Season 2 is something else), and especially on Adora’s side we see her hold back with Catra, and often take responsibility for the harm Catra inflicts, just like she had when they were kids. Yet they still drift apart - after facing off every other episode in Season 1, they spend less and less time on screen together through season 2 and 3. Catra continues her ascent to power and descent into villainy while Adora becomes more of a stressed out mess as she takes the fate of the world and the wellbeing of everyone she cares about on her admittedly broad shoulders. Catra’s one moment of vulnerability is rewarded by Shadow Weaver’s betrayal and her exile, then Catra triumphs in ruthless badass fashion through sheer desperation and aggression. In the Crimson Wastes, we see Catra at her most independent, and she almost seems happy. But once Adora shows up and Catra hears about Shadow Weaver, she’s sucked back into the worst of her resentments, and she makes very clear that being happy is less important to her than making sure Adora is miserable.

This changes everything. Catra completely breaks with reality and tries to kill Adora, herself and the world rather than lose to Adora and Shadow Weaver (I do think it’s important to remember that she does that after Shadow Weaver nearly kills her). Catra betrays everyone around her when she exiles Entrapta, threatens Scopria and lies to Hordak. Then she flips the switch. When Adora tries to fix things, Catra fights to her own death to make sure that the world disintegrates with her. For her part, Adora fights first to understand what is wrong with the world and then to fix it. Finally she tells Catra that destroying the world is her choice and she has to live with it, decks her, and then sees her off with a death glare once the portal is closed. With this, Adora writes Catra off even if, as she says later, she never never hated her. By doing that, Adora casts off the guilt that had dogged her and takes responsibility for her own life rather than someone else’s - this is actually a huge step for her, and one that will become more important in Season 4.

Season 4 is in many ways the nadir of their relationship. They only see each other once during the entire season, in Fluterrina, when Adora tries to blast Catra, much to the latter’s shock. There’s a sense in that scene that Catra is trying to have the same flirtatious enmity she used to have with Adora, and Adora is having none of it. Catra almost seems hurt by this, which is an early hint at how isolated Catra is beginning to feel. Catra spends the rest of the season at her highest and lowest. On the one hand she spends most of 12 episodes winning by every standard she has ever claimed to care about, besting Hordak himself in single combat and making herself co-ruler of the Horde and coming within a day’s march of ending the Rebellion. In many ways it is the ultimate empowerment fantasy - the abused young woman has defeated her abusers, showed up everyone who doubted her and forced everyone to respect her. But I think it’s striking that the show starts with her and Adora dreaming of conquering the world together and in Season 4 Catra nearly succeeds in conquering it alone, almost like she was trying to live out her old shared fantasy while proving she didn’t need her former best friend.

At the same time, Catra is clearly miserable. She’s always been unhappy, but in Season 4 we see her completely isolated and lying to herself and everyone who will listen in a desperate attempt to justify her actions. Turning the tactics of Hordak and Shadow Weaver against them to gain power and then against Scorpia and Entrapta to maintain it haven’t vindicated Catra, they’ve made her more and more alone as Entrapta is exiled and Scorpia drifts away. Meanwhile Catra reaches out to Double Trouble, and her interactions with them reek of a kind of desperate desire to have someone in her life (the feeling of their interaction is of an unhealthy casual relationship where one partner becomes emotionally invested and the other takes advantage of that while denying the other the closeness they desire). As people leave her, one after the other, it becomes clearer and clearer that Catra doesn’t want power at all - she wants connection, friendship, love, and power is a very poor replacement. As I said in my long Catra rant, Season 4 is both her ‘Walter White as a Catgirl’ season and the beginning of her redemption. Everything comes to head when Sparkles destroys everything Catra has tried to achieve, Double Trouble delivers those harsh truths and Horde Prime shows up and makes it all irrelevant, just highlighting how futile all her struggles and sacrifices and crimes have been.

Meanwhile Adora spends Season 4 becoming her own her and her own woman. After telling off Catra, she grows more and more disillusioned with Light Hope and critical of Glimmer (though the latter has more than a shade of her old habit of taking responsibility for others - Adora’s development is not linear). She’s gained the courage and confidence to strike out her own path, not just follow a destiny. At the season’s end she once again breaks with her best friend to do what is right, and discards the destiny that she was being prepared for. But in this case she isn’t chasing one packaged destiny for another, instead she’s making her own choice and literally shattering the thing that she thought gave her life purpose. It’s badass, and heartbreaking, and along with decking Catra and jumping after Catra into the abyss (see below) it’s the perfect Adora moment.

In many ways Season 5 starts with Catra and Adora farther apart than they have ever been. They aren’t even enemies anymore, they’re completely out of each other’s lives. And both Catra and Adora are lost at the beginning of Season 5 - Catra is useless and alone on Prime’s ship, completely defeated despite ostensibly being on the winning side, and she goes through the motions of her normal plotting without any particular conviction and none of her normal flair. Meanwhile Adora is even more miserable and self-destructive than usual, throwing herself at Horde Bots and working herself until she drops of exhaustion. In a very real way they both stay lost until they have a chance to help the other. Catra takes responsibility for what she’s done and what she can do, saves Glimmer (at least partly for Adora’s sake), apologizes to Adora, and sacrifices herself. Adora only seems to come alive when she decides to turn around, face Prime, and save the cat. And when she does, Catra and Adora’s arcs, which had separated so completely in season 4, come crashing back together to end the series.

Adora during Save the Cat is such a contrast with the uncertain, hesitant and self-destructive wreck we’ve seen so far in Season 5. This is possibly her craziest plan in 3 years of mostly cazy plans, but she never wavers or questions herself. Even when Chipped Catra appears and we see Adora’s heart break while we watch, Adora doesn’t back down or relent. She keeps at it even as the tears stream down her face. She fights better trying to save Catra without She-Ra’s powers than she fought at the Battle of Bright Moon with them. Catra’s just about as desperate - we see her cry and plead, and now is probably as good a time to any to point out how amazing a job both VAs did throughout the show, but especially in this episode, and how good a job the board artists did.

Seeing each other for the first time in a year, and only the second time since Catra blew everything up, Catra and Adora are probably the rawest and least restrained we’ve ever seen them. There’s barely any banter, no bravado, and no pretense that they are anything other than two women who desperately need each other (Prime doesn’t help with ‘You broke my heart’.) Then Catra is flung to her death, Adora jumps after her, breaks both her legs in the fall (we see her crawl to Catra, as though she couldn’t walk) and becomes the real She-Ra. It’s such a triumphant and deeply queer moment seeing a woman transformed into a warrior goddess to protect the woman she loves, and it’s the reason that, as dark as it is, Save the Cat is my Comfort Food episode.

Let’s not sleep on Taking Control, though. This episode is like a microcosm of what this show does best, especially the A plot with Catra and Adora. Catra’s reversion to lashing out at everyone and her refusal to be open to Adora shows just how much of a struggle this whole ‘being good and trying to connect to people’ thing is. Catra’s outburst gives Adora a chance to stand up for herself and refuse to be Catra’s punching bag, while also not trying to control her. Adora’s ultimatum gives Catra a chance to reach out to Adora (quite literally), and allow herself to be vulnerable. In this episode, we see just how far Catra and Adora have come since the messed up stew of their relationship in Season 1. Adora lets Catra be responsible for her own actions; Catra lets herself be vulnerable to Adora and takes responsibility for her actions. They’re both better people and better friends and better partners than they were, and the show has shown this in a strikingly nuanced and realistic way.

The important thing to note in the next few episodes of Season 5 isn’t just how much closer Catra and Adora get to each other and how much they flirt (So much. So much, y’all) but just how -happy- they are. We see both of them transformed in the other’s presence. Basically, since they’ve parted, both Catra and Adora have been defined in no small part by how miserable they often are. They have both had their triumphs and their lighter moments, but there’s been a sense of melancholy dogging both Catra and Adora since episode 1. And now that they’re together again, that lifts, somewhat. Catra’s verbal barbs have lost their venom, and she can openly show how much she cares for Adora and even Bow and Glimmer. She’s still herself - snarky, cynical, somewhat devious - but she’s not engaged in a self-destructive zero-sum struggle with everyone around her. Meanwhile Adora has spent 4 seasons being a neurotic and sometimes nearly joyless mess who takes responsibility for everything and often doesn’t let herself enjoy anything other than the odd BFS group hug (exceptions include trying to uh...impress Huntara and reveling with the butterfly ladies of Elberron in Flutterina). Around Catra, though, she’s a cocky, swaggering jock who gives as good as she gets. It’s a side of Adora we’ve only seen hints of before, and one that’s so much more confident and joyful even as the world is ending around her. Apart, Catra had tried to protect and vindicate herself with power and conquest, while Adora had tried to forget herself in duty and sacrifice. Together, they can be themselves again. This dynamic is crucial to the show’s portrayal of Catra and Adora’s romance because it doesn’t just show how much they love each other, but how they’re -good- for each other now that they’ve grown as people, and that they are so much better than they were when they were apart.

Until Shadow Weaver shows up. Their old abuser reintroduces tensions but even then things are different than they were. Now Catra isn’t just resentful of how Shadow Weaver prefers Adora - she’s protective of Adora, which is clearest in Failsafe when she calls Shadow Weaver out for being willing to sacrifice Adora. And while Adora takes the Failsafe, it isn’t to follow her destiny or because she has a death wish - it’s because she loves her friends, and she is the only one who has any hope of doing this and living (though Catra’s suggestion that Shadow Weaver take it is a good one). And finally, when Catra leaves Adora, it isn’t because she hates Adora, nor, despite what she says, is it because she really thinks that Adora chose Shadow Weaver. At least, not exactly. It’s because Catra loves Adora, and can admit that to herself, and can’t stay around and watch the woman she loves sacrifice herself rather than choosing Catra. Before Catra leaves, she asks Adora ‘What do you want?” It’s a question that echoes Shadow Weaver’s speech in Episode 1: ‘isn’t this what you always wanted since you could want anything?’ As much as Adora has grown as a person, and defined herself and stood up for what she thinks is right, she still has never answered that question - it’s never been ‘what do I want’ but ‘what do I have to do?’ and that’s how Adora answers Catra’s question. This is Adora’s last gasp as a self-transcending hero, letting go of what she wants (not that she ever dared articulate what that was) in order to do what must be done. And it nearly kills her and dooms the universe, because Adora can’t be the hero that she needs to be by being anyone less than herself.

But it’s losing Catra that inspires Adora to tell off Shadow Weaver for good (not that she’d ever really warmed to her after season 1). And it’s love for Adora that inspires Catra to stand up to Shadow Weaver and demand that she do the right thing. In both cases, Catra and Adora aren’t just standing up to their abuser, but holding her to account for the harm she’s caused, and it’s the love that they have for each other that inspires them to do this. In Catra’s case in particular her refusal to let Shadow Weaver weasel out of finding Adora is a much greater triumph over Shadow Weaver than beating her up and breaking her mask in Season 1 - it’s proof not so much to Shadow Weaver but to Catra herself that Catra really is better than this and that she deserves better than this. It’s not turning her abuser’s tactics against her, but truly holding her to a moral standard and demanding that she do the right thing.

And then there’s Catra and Adora together at the heart. Catra has already come back for Adora and stayed to the end, choosing to die with her even if she can’t share a life together (not out of some death wish, but because Adora needs her). And Adora, who’s been avoiding answering the question for three fucking years, finally let’s herself want Catra when Catra finally confesses her love (breaking the last of her self-protective shields) and asks Adora to stay -for her-. And by admitting what she wants, Adora can truly be at peace with herself and be the hero she needs to be, lesbianism saves the universe, The End.

So anyway, that’s how Catra and Adora’s stories are woven together and how they compliment and comment on each other. Narrativiely, Adora and Catra start together, come apart, find something of themselves, and truly find themselves and each other when they are reunited. Thematically, they are critiquing seemingly opposing narrative tropes - empowerment narratives and narratives of self sacrifice. But by showing the flaws in both types of story and showing how neither self-seeking empowerment nor self-negating self sacrifice can actually make us happy, She-Ra asks and answers more profound questions than most prestige dramas for adults do. I’ll get into how the show sells the idea that the power of love can bring us happiness (and save the world) in a future post. But next up, I’m going to celebrate just how much Catra and Adora’s relationship revels in ambiguity, complexity and contradiction and so tells a grown up love story in a kid’s show.

#she ra #she ra spoilers #she ra adora #spop #catradora #she ra netflix #she ra and the princesses of power #goat ship #long #meta

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sauvechouris · 2 years ago

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Tagged by @demoiselledefortune, thank you ^^ I... may have started this last monday and procrastinated to the point i had to edit some of the answers, oops.

fave colour: green, blue, and purple

currently reading: Si nous étions adultes / Even though we’re adults / Otona ni natte mo by Takako Shimura. I’ve just finished volume 4 (as of today-today not last monday), in time for volume 5 this month. It’s maybe not for everyone since the premise is about adultery, but i’m enjoying the way it shows many sides of a messy situation. (One of the protagonists got married pretty much just to not be unmarried anymore because christmas cake, she’s been ignoring/repressing her attraction to women since at least high school, and when suddenly, one evening where her husband isn’t there, a pretty lady chats her up at a bar, it unlocks some stuff for her. That’s valid, it’s sympathetic, but it’s also completely unfair to her husband and the lady who’s got it bad for her, and they all know it - including all her in-laws.) Plus, as the title says, the main characters are adults (35), which is not the most common thing in yuri, so i appreciate it.

Technically i’m also 3/4th of the way into a book about H.PI and hy.persensibility (that curiously makes very little mention of a.dh.d despite titling itself with and overusing the word “hyper”) but i paused it and now can’t make myself get back to it.

...and at the same time, i’ve slowly (because it’s mostly very short chapters, so it’s easy to pick up and put down) been reading S€x Education 120%, which sounds like a po/rn title (and being published by Taifu (/Ototo) doesn’t help), but is, in fact, about sex ed for girls, and pretty modern about it? constantly amused by that :D (wlw-inclusive too, + no chapter about it yet but they’ve namedropped asexuality, so i’m hoping for something in volume 3.) And i’ve been slowly getting Les c@rnets de l’apothicaire after reading a friend’s copies, so i’m rereading these as i buy them (and having a lot of fun with them, love the protag’s mix of being observant but mostly uninterested and unimpressed with her courtly environment, very down to earth, but a bit of a gremlin for poisonous stuff - even the slow setting up of the eventual m/f romance is fun, it’d been a while since that happened for me!), and i randomly picked up the last Fitz trilogy again, by the middle to reread specific bits of it, but i’ve reread them now and i keep going back to it anyway. j’arrête quand je veux etc

So, a bit all over the place. Plus some fic. Meanwhile, my actual to-read pile is staring in judgement from its undisturbed corner.

last song: (last monday:) Shin jidai wa kono mirai da sekaijuu zenbu kaeteshimaebaaaa 🎶 (thanks to @soveryanon who shared Ado’s songs in the latest OP movie, i’ve been stuck on them since because w o w (even though i know pretty much nothing about OP, it’s not even a “real” proxy fandom that i watch pass by and wave at when it does, stop making it sound appealing when i can’t stand the artstyle...))

As of today : the Keiko and Am@Lee covers of Synchronicity, thanks to this art yesterday.

last series: ...I’m. not very good at watching series. at all. But if the question means the last one i watched in its entirety, that’s the first cour of Spy family, if it means one i’m following it’s the current Pokémon anime (loosely), and if it means the last i watched an episode of, that’s Pokémon too but a different era of it. (I do want to watch the Man me a sand show, it’s just a matter of making myself believe there are enough hours in a day to watch one (1) episode and then executing the function.)

last movie: a rewatch of PMMM Rebellion story, i think? if rewatches don’t count, that’d be... the red panda movie...? i’m not a big movie watcher either

currently working on: making a character from a friend’s rp. I’ve never done that and have spent a good few days overthinking, even though, from what i understand, what we have to do is not complex by rp standards. ^^”” Finally found a name (last monday), now i need some more setting info from her, and to decide if i want to be practical or Mustang-on-a-rainy-day level of comically inefficient when it comes to abilities. (Still the case today.)

Also trying to see if i can trick google into letting me buy the FEH sparks, which is very frustrating both because i don’t like wanting to give money to the gacha, even if at least it’s for something guaranteed, and because it’s not working. (which is for the better, but ugh, unfair practices.)

share 10 different favorite characters from ten different pieces of media in no particular order, then tag 10 people 🎥🎬📺

1. Fitz 😔 (L’Assassin royal) - disaster, life ruiner, still the best example i’ve seen so far of how real first-person pov can feel and how saying that Literature is differencied from genre fiction by ‘having something to say about human nature’ is bullshit

2. Tohru (Fruba) - I can’t not pick her, and i can’t be objective about it. But in my heart i’m also picking Yuki and an armful of others (and nodding at you for Shigure).

3. Soren (FE) - He’s a very empathetic young man a bitch, he’s gay, he has a Fruba-level backstory that ripped my heart out even though i still don’t have the confirmation that what’s going on is going on, he’s a tactician who thought that spitting racist slurs at a giant (and very sweet) tiger unprovoked was a sound idea, I love him and want to read all the fic about him but first i have to actually finish his games

4. NHS (MDZS) - a bitch too, very pretty, and characters being more clever or capable than they appear works well on me. Plus i read mdzs fresh off of Berseria and he did a brother revenge, who else was i supposed to fixate on.

5. Homura (PMMM) - /*lies down* Rebellion... episode 10 too of course but Rebellion...........

6. Velvet (Tales.of Berseria) - /*points at the mess that is her handling of her grief, trauma and revenge* she has so many problems, and the story slaps her in the face with all of them (and sometimes it makes for the best moments /*puts on True will*). single-handedly responsible for my pick of mdzs fave because she’d given me many emotions about characters out for revenge for their family, while doing character work about it that mdzs didn’t have the space (or interest) to do with a last-chapter twist reveal. also i’m gay

7. Haruko Daichi (Shimanami Tasogare / Eclat(s) d’âmes) - many emotions: happy&wlw edition. One of the emotions is that time she punched a wall hard enough that it left a mark in it and her wife framed it. Also everything else with walls, walls are good for metaphors in this manga ;v;

8. Tomoyo (CCS) - I forget who called her the cutest little lesbian who ever did lesbian, but they were right, + positive unrequited crushes are a direct ticket to my heart. May we all have it together like she does when dealing with that and may we all have a fraction of her productivity, holy shit

9. i refuse to choose between members of the original (= pre-Tokyo) TRC family

10. not going to choose between Gilbert (blorbo, direct call-out for me) and Oz (very good character writing) either (Pandora Hearts)

I never know who to tag either, but since this one mainly has questions where the answer must have changed even if one has done it before, it’s fine maybe : @autheane, @potahun, @sazandorable, @ezzoh, @runawaycarouselhorse, @littleragondin, and i already tagged Cass earlier - only if you want to, of course.

#that's not 10 but if you see this and want to do it then do it #no pokémon because treating it as one single piece of media felt wrong but picking characters was a headache when separating it #(it'd tentatively be Shigeru for the anime and Lilie for the games but how do you separate the others who exist less distinctively #across continuities.......)#i got tired of writing names to not clutter search results if anyone is using the search instead of the tags here that's on them not on me #too many words. i hope you wanted blabbering and an attempt at recs because concision is not available at the moment #that's a personal tag

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bratkook · 4 years ago

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sick entertainment. (m) kth

pairing. hitman!taehyung x hitman!reader genre. smut, pwp warnings. mentions of guns, slight depictions of violence/murder, they’re both hitmen please don’t read if whats mentioned is triggering, they make some dark jokes (they’re sick okay lmao) smut in forms of: oral sex, fingering, unprotected sex, multiple orgasms, choking, dirty talk but its all playful despite it all hehe word count. 6.3k note. this is a request based off #85 off this prompt list (now closed) thank you for sending this in! 🖤 also uh….this may become a series, in which case, consider this a saucy prologue that gives you a glimpse into tae/oc’s...interesting... relationship

The slamming of the door makes Taehyung cock his eyebrow, a sly smile spreading across his face as he mindlessly watches the television, his ears listening to the way your feet stomp on the concrete floors of the loft, no doubt a trail of fire following your path. A laugh is begging to make its way out of him, chest trembling from holding it in because he knows he’s in deep shit, he’d known it the second he had interfered.

Blame it on his playful personality, or maybe his need of meddling in business that very clearly wasn’t his, either way the second he heard the name of the next target you were assigned he knew he had to make a game out of it. Is it sick, or twisted? Maybe, but the man was a well known scumbag, a slimey wannabe mobster that has far too many hits out for him it’s a shock he still has a pulse, well had considering you were back now.

Like every single assignment, he knew this one wouldn’t be missed, wouldn’t even have a news report made on him. It was the main reason why you were able to get away with it all, despite the police showing up for investigations whenever any unlucky bystander stumbled upon their body, they never seemed to dive deeper into who did it. They didn’t have to, they weren’t stupid, knowing not to bite the hand that fed them.

As long as they continued to get a small portion of cash funneled into their department and you all continued to wipe out the low lives that made their job so hard, then there really was no crime committed.

Namjoon called it transactional, but Taehyung called it boring. He liked it messy, enjoyed the thrill of it all, the possibility of not getting away with it, and with the help of police it took that all away from him.

You knew he was up to no good, the gleam in his eyes when you had mentioned who you were hitting next spelled it out for you. Knowing Taehyung like the back of your hand made you wary, accustomed to the way his brain worked like a minefield, he was someone you had to watch from a distance and analyze before deciding your next move.

“Welcome home honey.” Taehyung sings out playfully when he senses you getting closer, that same smile plastered on his face as he turns to face you, only getting wider when he notices the shiny black gun in your palm, one that actually belonged to him. It wasn’t your usual choice, something you no doubt swiped from its hiding spot when you came in, but you couldn’t exactly conceal the sniper you had used an hour prior enough to make it undetected in your hands on your way to your apartment.

He knew it was currently disassembled and tucked into your backpack as you chucked it aside and marched your way over to him, hand clenched around the grip of his Ruger with murder so evident in your eyes. Taehyung doesn’t think you’ve ever looked cuter, even as you raise it up towards his chest once you close the distance between you.

“You’re on thin ice Taehyung,” you laugh as you round the couch, standing directly in front of his sitting form, still casually sunken against the cushions as if you weren’t aiming for his heart. “You really think Namjoon’s going to let you come back if I tell him you’re playing games with my targets?”

Your boyfriend sighs at that, a roll of his eyes being sent your way as he drops his head to rest along the back of the couch with a groan. He didn’t need you to remind him of his current standing with Namjoon, knowing fully well that he had crossed a line by smashing that random man’s face into the fancy bar counter for simply looking at you. It wasn’t fair really, had he taken the time to get to know the guy he would have realized just how high up that random man was in terms of connections, but Taehyung could blame his tunnel vision for cutting the introductions short.

Like you said, his brain was a minefield, one wrong step was all it took before his fingers were tangling into the poor man’s hair and connecting his face with the wooden counter. He wasn’t even sure what set him off, the edges of his sight blurring together as he wrapped his fingers around his throat, pulling out the small gun he always had tucked away with him, pressing the muzzle against his temple and laughing maniacally as the man tried to pry his hands off of him.

He liked to keep things exciting, but unfortunately for him that excitement ended up costing Namjoon far too much in order to keep Taehyung from being thrown into jail, which would have arguably been a lot better than being stuck on what could be considered probation, no longer able to work unless Namjoon deemed it acceptable.

“Children shouldn’t play with guns.” Taehyung mocks, hoping to distract you while his eyes stayed glued to the end of the barrel, following it as you inched it closer with a wicked smile on your face. He knew he was on thin ice, nearly ruining your shot, potentially resulting in the target escaping because of his stupid game. That wasn’t too big of an issue, the chase made it fun some times, but considering this target had a bigger money sign tacked onto their back there would be no way you could let a fuck up slide.

He smiles still, lips curling up and showing his teeth as he focuses on your face now, seeing the way you look at him. You had those crazy eyes he loved to see, full of adrenaline, body still buzzing from earlier, analyzing his every move as you tuck the end of the cold barrel under his chin and slowly cock the safety back with a soft click.

“Who said I was playing?”

The small flash of excitement sparks in his eyes as you dig the muzzle into his skin, his mouth dropping open as he breathes out a laugh, his large palm coming to clutch around your own, urging the gun further into his skin.

“Do it,” he taunts, guiding your fingers to slide over the trigger, floating off of it as you observe him.

“I should’ve done it the second I saw you leaving that bastards apartment” you threaten, remembering the rage you had felt when you witnessed your boyfriend exit the complex and look directly up at the building across from him, knowing you would be perched on the ledge with your gun aimed at the window as you waited. The childlike wave he had sent you from the ground made you want to change your aim towards him, the urge to pull the trigger only increasing when he sent you a simple text telling you to enjoy the chase.

That was the first push of the domino that sent everything collapsing and as you peeked through the window and saw your target frantically packing a bag as he looked around you couldn’t stop the flash of annoyance from flaring inside of you. It didn’t take much guessing to figure out that Taehyung had notified him that his head was on the line and now he was going to try to run.

It was supposed to be a clean job, it was the main reason you preferred to use a sniper instead of the slightly more intimate methods used by the others, all you had to do was disassemble your Sako and get yourself off whatever ledge you were on and that was it, job completed. Anticipating a chase was not something you thought would happen today but the second he began to shove clothes into some random bag you knew you were losing your window of opportunity.

“How far did he get?” Taehyung laughs, eyes full of mischief as you glare at him, that tiny smirk on your face giving you away, showing him just how amused you were at his antics despite the gun pressed against his skin

“The stairwell.” You knew the layout of his building well enough to know exactly what exit route he would take, beginning the chase Taehyung had been so eager to start. Having to get down from your spot and somehow beat him before he left his apartment was too far fetched, but catching him before he exited the complex completely was the only thing that kept you from admitting defeat.

Your heart continues to rapidly beat in your chest as you recall it, how your lungs had burned as you took the stairs two at a time once you managed to get inside the complex, nearly ramming into your target as he rounded the stairwell in his haste to leave undetected.

Had it not been for his already set paranoia he would have simply shoved you aside, not expecting a girl to be the one in charge of taking him out, but the second he spots the unhinged look in your face, the way your eyes glimmer when you realize you caught him, he knows it's too late to run. Thankfully for you, he accepted his fate pretty easily after that.

“Did you leave a mess?”

“I couldn’t use my Sako you asshole.”

Taehyung laughs freely now, his other hand coming to scoop around your waist and pull you closer, your thighs slotting between his. If you couldn’t use your precious Sako he knew you were pissed, hence the gun to his throat. There was nothing you hated more than having to come in close contact with whoever you were meant to kill, you weren’t a fan of the bargaining they tried to make with you, not particularly enjoying seeing their face as you pressed the suppressor of your Beretta between their eyes before you pulled the trigger.

“Is that why you’re so trigger happy right now?” He’s taunting you, biting his lip as he smiles up at you, eyes widening slightly as you gingerly place your finger on the trigger. “C’mon, teach me a lesson. Shoot me.”

You don’t need to be told twice.

The second the last word leaves his mouth, your finger presses down on the trigger, the brief moment of shock is painted across his face when he hears the click, eyes squinting when he expects the searing pain that was sure to follow but it never came. In a blink of an eye his hands are expertly releasing the magazine of his Ruger, letting it fall into his grip as he brings it close to really check to see that it was in fact empty, something you no doubt did the second you entered the loft.

Your joyous laughter fills the air instantly, dropping the gun from its position as you lose yourself in the giggles that escape you. “You should have seen your face.”

Taehyung continues to stare at the empty magazine, looking up at you incredulously, the beginning of a smile once again gracing his face at the pure shock that you actually pulled the trigger. “You were gonna fucking shoot me.”

“Oh please, like I’d ever shoot you–“

“You have!” He remarks, snatching the gun from your grasp and sliding the magazine back into place, remembering the time you gave him a warning shot to the shoulder the last time he tried to meddle in your business. Sure you might have just grazed his skin but a trigger was still pulled.

Taehyung chuckles when you plop onto the couch next to him, body still trembling with laughter as you wipe underneath your eyes for any stray tears. “Don’t tell me to shoot you if you don’t actually want me to”

“You’re a psycho,” he jests, tossing the gun safely aside as he faces you, seeing the oh so innocent smile on your lips.

“Don’t act so surprised.” He’s not, knowing you were two peas in a pod, just the right amount of crazy to level each other out, if any more was added to either of you there would no doubt be actual shots fired. It worked though, a nice balance between you that allowed the relationship to go on as long as it has.

“You’d never actually do it,” he sighs, slinging an arm over your shoulder and pulling you into his side, smug with the fact that you would never actually hurt him. “You’d miss me too much.”

“Would I?” A teasing laugh fills the air as your hand glides up his chest, fingers trailing towards his neck until they curl around his skin, feeling the rhythmic pulsing of his heart. When your fingers tighten around his neck he chuckles, the vibrations felt against your palm.

The arm slung around your shoulder slides down to your back, scooping you over until you’re settling onto his thighs in his favorite position, a mischievous glint to his eyes flashing when you look at him. “You definitely would baby, who else would be here to drive you crazy like I do?” His deep voice pulls you in, dripping from his tongue in a manner that makes you want to lean forward and savor every drop.

“Should we find out?”

Taehyung just drops his head back once more, a cynical lift to his lips when you bring up your second hand to wrap around his thick neck, fingers digging further into his skin. “Please, don’t threaten me with a good time.”

“You’re sick,” you laugh out, squealing when his hands tighten their grip around your waist, his head leveling out as he stares at you with that same glint in his eyes.

“I know I am, but you like it.” A gasp leaves your mouth as he slides you further up his lap, clothed core pressing into the slowly growing bulge in his pants. “Don’t act like I forgot the little stunt you pulled this morning.”

Flashes of this morning play in your mind, the way you had teased him the minute he woke up and felt his cock pressed against you. You couldn’t help yourself when you rolled on top of him, kissing and biting his neck while you slowly rolled your hips above him. Taehyung honestly isn’t complaining about it, who wouldn’t love starting their morning off with their girlfriend so hell bent on making them cum.

The only downside of it all was the fact that you actually hadn’t made him cum, leaving him high and dry with an evil laugh as you rolled back off of him and went about your morning as if you hadn’t just committed an awful crime. That may be the reason Taehyung was so insistent on making your assignment tonight a fun little game for the two of you to play and now that that was done and over with he could finally have you on top of him just like this morning.

“You’re telling me you don’t like when I play games with you?” He huffs out a laugh at the teasing kick to your voice, a sinful smile on your lips as you allow him to unzip your sweater, tugging the loose material off your body to reveal the simple black shirt you wore underneath.

“That wasn’t a game, it was torture.” His words are muffled as he leans forward, lips pressing kisses into your skin, breath fanning out and sending tingles down your spine. It was funny how he could pick and choose what was classified as a game, the earlier antics he caused seeming more like torture than you grinding on him at the crack of dawn but you’d let him believe it.

The hold you have on his neck loosens, your arms spreading out to allow him to slip the sweater off of you entirely, large palms now coming to roam over the small sliver of exposed skin that peeked out under the hem of your shirt. “You know what would be so hot?” His cold fingers leave a trail of goosebumps as he inches the material up, little by little, revealing your belly button, the edge of your bra coming next as you hum in question.

“If you ever wore some hot ass latex or leather on the job.” He groans unabashedly at the thought of you in a tight leather corset, boobs accentuated as it hugged your skin. Maybe you’d wear a cute little garter with your Beretta tucked into it, or one of those adorable daggers you had grown so fond of recently.

It might be a wet dream of his but you just snort at the thought, not being able to imagine yourself getting a decent shot with something so restrictive on, god forbid Taehyung decided to play another game of cat and mouse you’re not so sure a leather corset would hold as you chased your target.

“That's so impractical, I’ll do it for you here though.” That appeases him, a smug smile on his lips as he continues to pull up your shirt, taking his time as if he was unwrapping his favorite present. With your red bra fully revealed he sighs in appreciation, tossing the shirt aside without a care to fully admire you.

His hands cup over your bra, thumbs gently tracing the swell of your breasts before giving a rough squeeze that makes you breathe out a laugh. “Will you really?” He questions, keeping a good hold on you as he flips you over, flat on your back with your head resting by the armrest of the couch. Your elbows hold you up as you smile at him, dazed as you watch him tug up his grey shirt and throw it off to the side.

“Yeah, only if you buy that cute maid costume I found and wear it for me.” Taehyung doesn’t even think twice before agreeing, stomach tensing up as your fingers trace along his skin, circling around the random scars that litter his body from close encounters and senseless fights. They serve as physical reminders of your boyfriend’s careless behavior, that minefield mentality making the worst decisions possible in the name of getting a quick thrill. You follow them up until you reach the tiny scar you were responsible for on his shoulder, shallow and faded to a lighter tan now that it was healed.

“I told you, you’re trigger happy.” His hand grasps your own, bringing it back down to the couch as he chuckles. “I think you’re a danger to society Y/N.”

“Hm, am I?” Your voice drawls out as you stretch out, enjoying the way he watches you like a predator would his prey, sharp eyes hyper focused on your every move and you swear he can hear how your heart races in your chest. When he simply hums in response, nimble fingers beginning to unbutton your jeans, you can only giggle and help him as best as you can, lifting your hips and pulling your legs until the tight material has joined the growing pile on the floor.

Taehyung slots between your thighs with ease now, hands digging into the sofa as he holds himself up and leans forward to kiss you once more. His breath is felt on your face as he groans at the taste of you, forever loving the feeling of your lips on his, an endless craving he would never get over. You taste like your favorite chapstick, sweet like candy, and when his tongue peeks out to get a better dose you breathe his name out in a sigh that sounds like music to his ears.

Resting his weight on his knees, his hands are set on their mission, palms sliding underneath you until they reach the back clasp of your bra, expertly unhooking it until it snaps against your skin. A playful laugh is passed between your mouths as he does so, his teeth gently nipping at your lips before he begins his descent. Sloppy kisses are pressed along your jaw as he pulls the straps of your garment down your arms and lets it fall onto the floor.

As he reaches the juncture of your neck he takes a nice inhale, chuckling when he catches the hint of your sweet shampoo mixed with the metallic tang of gunpowder. “You smell like work–“

“Get off, I’m gonna shower!” You try to swat him off of you but he’s quick to grasp your hands, pinning them above your head, giving you a wicked smile as he stares down at you, loving the way your nose twitches in anger at being held down by his arms and hips.

So cute.

“No, I finally have you right where I want you.”

“Is that so?” Taehyung chooses not to answer you as he starts to continue the trail of kisses down your neck, grabbing both wrists in one hand as his other trails down your chest. The ticklish feeling leaves you fidgeting around as he grabs a handful of your tits, squeezing the flesh before slowly circling around your nipple until it hardens at the sensation. The wet path of kisses passes your collarbones, soft smacks of his lips on your skin as he nears your neglected breast, kisses around the swell of them in a teasing way.

When he finally envelopes your other nipple into his mouth you gasp, arching your back to push more of you into his mouth, feeling the vibrating hum against your skin as his tongue flicks around your areola. Tingles shoot up your spine as he pinches your nipple in his fingers, pinching and rolling the bud between his grasp, the feeling of his sharp teeth press into your skin when he smiles at the way you react to his touch, soft moans flowing past your lips the longer he teases you.

With a slight pop, he releases your nipple, a satisfied laugh hitting the air when he sees the way it’s covered in a sheen of his saliva, rising and falling with each of your breaths. His palm still holds your hands hostage but as you fidget in his grasp he releases them, allowing you to tangle your fingers in his hair, yanking at the soft tufts of dark brown until you were content.

“So this is right where you want me?”

“Almost.”

“Almost?”

“Yeah,” he leans up and kisses you once more before trailing down your body, your hands still tangled in his hair as he descends in the same fashion as before, an endless trail of smooches down your ribs, across your torso and around your belly button. The final kisses are pressed into your hips as his fingers hook into the band of your underwear, pulling the waistband of your matching red thong up at the sides and letting it snap against your skin like an annoying child, snickering at the sound it makes.

When you nudge your knee against his sides he stops fooling around, finally yanking them down your thighs, gingerly unhooking them from around your feets to be forgotten entirely now that he stares down at your exposed pussy. A smile graces his face at the sight, folds wet and glistening, already messy in a way he couldn’t resist as he glides his face against your inner thighs. “This is where I want you.”

Your fingers twirl around his hair as he messily kisses around your lower lips, eyes falling shut as you focus on each touch on your body, the brief nudge of his nose, the had press of his lips and finally, the cool sensation of his saliva as he licks a broad stripe up your slit, tongue collecting the drips of your arousal.

“Fuck, Taehyung.” It comes out as a mewl, head dropping back in awe when he repeats the motion, tongue slipping through your folds, the tip of it meeting your clit in a small jolt that leaves you breathless. He could do this all day, feel each stinging pull on his scalp that accompanies each flick of his tongue, your cries of pleasure only increasing when he spreads your folds apart and dives in with new set determination.

The messy smacks and slurps blend in with your choked breath, mingling in between each gasped syllable that make up his name, pleas of more that he can’t deny. Soft lips wrap around your sensitive nub, sucking gently in a way he knows you love, spelled out by your thighs spreading further apart, hips rutting into his face in desperation.

These deliberate flicks against your bundle of nerves are set to tease, proven when he stops altogether with an evil smile, your arousal coating his chin but he doesn’t mind it, revelling in the harsh yank you deliver to his hair at his stopping.

“Baby has a temper, it sucks to be teased huh?” Taehyung’s words are spoken through a smirk, mouth dropped open as he laughs carelessly, head pulled back by your hold on his hair. The cute pout on your lips doesn’t look threatening in the least, not when he can see just how close you are to falling apart, the subtle twitch of your thighs being telling enough.

“I promise, I’ll never do that again. Just make me cum, please.” His eyes glimmer now, teeth biting down on his lower lip when you guide him back down to your swollen lips, wet with a mixture of your arousal and his spit.

“Deal.” Without wasting another second, his lips are back on you, long fingers joining in as he circles your entrance, slowly easing their way inside in a familiar stretch that makes you arch your back. He smiles against you as he feels the tight ring of muscles wrapped around him, the soft walls of your pussy felt along his fingertips as he curves his digits inside of you, not content until you’re gasping above him as he tickles along your gspot.

“K-keep doing that.” You beg him, mouth dropping open as another moan spills out when he does as you ask, fingers pumping into you, rubbing along your sweet patch as his tongue continues to ravish you, circling and sucking on your clit to give you the release you crave.

“Ah, fuck I’m close.”

Taehyung holds in his laugh as your feet slide along the top of the couch, searching for some leverage as you lose yourself in the feeling. The grip you have on his hair tightens as you near your release, body set alight with each thrust of his fingers, eyes screwed shut as you savor it all. He can feel the way your walls squeeze his fingers, leaving his cock hard in his jeans when he thinks of the way your walls will feel around him next.

With a final flick against your clit you’re shouting out his name, flashes of light sparking behind your closed lids as your body tenses up, limbs rendered useless as the wave of your climax washes over you. Taehyung always loved the way your bones turned into jello when the pleasure rocked through you, fingers losing their grip and thighs flopping onto the couch when he pulled away, face looking entirely satisfied by your reaction.

“That was exactly how I wanted you.” A messy kiss is placed onto your hip once more, leaving a wet spot in its wake that can be attributed to the remnants of your orgasm coating his lips.

“Yeah, you know how I want you?” you pant, giggling when his kisses turn ticklish, eyes looking up at you in question. “Fucking me so hard I forget I’m still mad at you.”

Oh, he could do that no problem.

It’s almost comical how quickly he’s able to get out of his jeans and underwear, his hand wrapping around his cock as he kneels onto the couch again. A smile spreads along his lips when he takes note of the look on your face as you stare at him, eyes following his hand as he lazily pumps his length.

There's pure mischief in your eyes, a tiny devil on your shoulder that cheers at the prospect of you getting what you want, thighs spreading further apart in invitation for him. Taehyung presses his lips together as his thumb rolls over the tip of his cock, smearing the beads of precum around the swollen head before giving himself a gentle squeeze as he inches forward.

It feels like time stands still as you watch with bated breath when he guides his cock to your entrance, a gasp slipping through your lips when he slaps the head of his cock against your sensitive clit, enjoying the small shudder that courses through your body with a discreet laugh.

“Taehyung,” you whine, rutting your hips up impatiently for him to hurry up. He finds pleasure in this though, his constant need to play games with you out ruling anything else.

“What?” He probes, smiling at you as if he didn’t have his dick inches from entering you.

“Fuck me, c’mon.” Your words trail off as his tip presses against you, slowly breaching your entrance in a familiar stretch that leaves your mind spinning. Taehyung can’t even get himself to make a sly remark like he always does, tease you about how messy you were before he even properly fucked you, no his head is wiped out of any witty comment, only able to focus on how amazing you feel around him.

“Shit,” he gasps out, sliding into you with ease from how wet you were, the slick coating your thighs and dripping down onto the couch beneath you. You find comfort in the feeling of his hands sliding up your thighs as he bottoms out, fingers gripping onto your hips so tightly it dimples your skin, holding you still before sliding back out of you in a wet squelch. Taehyung can’t get himself to look away at the visual, how his cock shines in the light, coated in the strings of your arousal.

A choked moan reaches his ears the second he starts to thrust into you, hands keeping you still to prevent you from sliding around from the quick pace he knows you love. Your own hands scramble to reach down, fingers wrapping around his arms to ground yourself as he snaps his hips into you, the laughter mixing with delighted moans letting him know he wasn’t being too rough. No you would never think that, wanting nothing more than to let Taehyung have his way with you, hips knocking into yours with each rock, the head of his cock kissing your cervix in a dull throb that left your nerves on edge.

“Just like that,” you mewl, his attention dragging away from your soaked cunt, looking up at you and seeing the dazed expression on your face. Seeing you like this definitely topped the adorable way you had held a gun to his chest, broken down and vulnerable all because of him. It was a privilege he didn’t take lightly, allowed to see you in a light he knew others hadn’t.

“Fuck you feel so good, so warm,” his words are spoken quietly, almost like a train of thought that hadn’t meant to escape but he means them, completely lost in the way your walls flutter around him, each pulse leaving him grunting in ecstasy.

“You’re right,” you start with a laugh, “I would miss you”

That grabs his attention, hips never slowing as he tilts his head in curiosity. “Oh yeah?”

“Yeah, no one else could fuck me as good as you do.” He chuckles at that, looking down at you and seeing the evil glint in your eyes as you smile, voice as sweet as honey when you ask him, “Would you miss me?”

Taehyung hums thoughtfully at your question, eyes falling shut when you clench around him on purpose, a teasing laugh leaving your lips as his mind blanks momentarily. “I don’t know, should we find out?” He mocks your earlier phrase as he trails his own hand up your body to your neck, large palm easily wrapping around it. He’s no stranger to the flash of excitement on your face, having grown used to the way you’d beg him to choke you so often it was like second nature now.

Call it sick but it made your brain turn into mush, made you abandon all dignity whenever he wrapped his hands around you. Maybe it should instill a sense of fear into you, knowing those same hands had done so much harm to others, the countless times they’ve been wrapped around other targets with the intent to kill. The soft glimmer in his eyes settles any thoughts before you can even have them, the twisted version of love spelled out in the curl of his lips as he asks if this is okay comforts you because you know he’ll never actually hurt you.

“Tighter,” you mumble out, smirking when he listens, fingers pressing into your skin deliciously. The minute his hands are properly wrapped around you its like your body is lit up, every nerve ending spazzing out, allowing you to feel the pleasure tenfold as his cock continues to fuck you. Each obscene squelch of his cock mixed with the added feeling of him grinding into your clit makes your brain go fuzzy, your legs wrapping around his waist in an effort to keep him closer.

Taehyung knew you loved to be choked, loved to feel the pounding of your blood rushing through your ears, the way the edges of your vision would fade out, his own face speckled in black as the feeling spread. His eyes never leave yours, amazement displayed in them at seeing you fall apart, your small hand laying on top of his in a sense of security. Your chest rises and falls with each breath, the moans and cries only getting softer as your orgasm approaches you, eyes threatening to close.

He knows the signs too well, waiting for the right moment and just before he knows you’ll cum he releases your throat, the sudden rush of unrestricted blood flow pushing you over the edge and intensifying the feeling. It’s evident in the way you gush around his cock, body tensing as your climax crashes through you, your arms desperately clinging onto him as he fucks you through it, soft hushes and whispers pressed into your skin as he kisses you gently.

Your mind wipes out entirely, eyes screwed shut as you come down, body buzzing with sensitivity as you ooze around his cock, leaving an unholy mess beneath you. “Fuck, I’m cumming.” He groans out, the desperate cries and soft mewls of his name are what finally push him over, spilling into you in ribbons of white, rutting his hips a few more times before stilling altogether, panting above you with sweat coating his hairline.

“I’d miss you too.” He mumbles out with a shy smile, gently brushing away the stray hairs from your face as you try to catch your breath. His face looks soft now, almost squishy as his cheeks puff out, it was hard to believe that was the face of a killer.

“Hmm, certified psycho Kim Taehyung goes soft for his girlfriend, who should I notify?”

He snorts at your retort, pulling out of you only to flop on top of you without a care in the world, nuzzling his face into your hair because he secretly loved the smell of your shampoo mixed with the gunpowder he had teased you about earlier. “Maybe the FBI, I’m pretty sure they’d love to know the name of any accomplice.”

“I’m not your accomplice.”

“Right my bad, they think I work alone.” He chuckles as he recounts the way the crooked cops had notified them of the FBI’s increased interest in Taehyung after he had smashed that man’s head in. Really who would have pegged the guy as an FBI agent. It didn’t raise too many concerns for him though, Taehyung hardly meddled in foreign affairs in the states anyways.

Before you’re able to tease him about his fuck ups once more the incessant ring of your phone drones off from the floor. With a groan from Taehyung he’s reaching down and pulling the device free from your sweater’s pocket,seeing it was Namjoon calling, no doubt ready to ask how the assignment went but Taehyung swipes the screen to answer.

“You know, you really know how to kill the mood.”

Your jaw drops as you laugh, attempting to swat at him to grab your phone free from it’s confines but he’s determined, holding it tightly against his ears with a devilish smile.

“Keep it up Taehyung, you’ll be on probation until I say so.” Namjoon’s voice is heard loud and clear through your phone’s speaker, the eye roll your boyfriend gives being comical enough, his mood being dampened at the reminder. With a pout of his lips he’s handing you the phone, getting off of you with a slight grimace when he feels just how sweaty you two had gotten.

Your conversation is quick, finished by the time he was done cleaning up, exiting your room with new clothes on and your favorite robe to hand you. The very evident smile on your lips shows whatever you two talked about must have been good, no doubt having gotten endless praise from Namjoon along with a new assignment. “I know that smile, what’s up.”

Slipping the robe on with a sigh you stand up and wrap your arms around his waist, peering up at him in delight. “I get to use my Sako next week.”

He can only shake his head at the tone in your voice, speaking about using your favorite gun on a target like it was a shiny new doll for you to play with. “You’re psycho you know that.”

“Yeah, but you love it.”

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