#i love the guy but hes a weirdo and we just dont seem to talk about that enough as a fandom

[rubytuby]

surprise

patrick zweig x fem!reader 

word count: 3.3k (LOL)

warnings: established relationship with patrick because i'm lazy, art is your best friend, mentions of getting drunk but it's college so like to be expected… also allusions to sex haha but um i just love to write a cutesy plot.

note: i am normal about patrick zweig, i feel so normal about him #needthat. jokes, but i am in love with him its so bad, i wish he was real. also please don't be offended by my tashi erasure, still love her, but she didn't exactly fit in here. obv this is not canon bc you're dating patrick in stanford era instead of tashi, anyways, hope you enjoy <3.

FEBRUARY 23 2007, STANFORD

The sun hung low, casting long shadows over the tennis courts as you and Art wrapped up your practice session. Both of you were drenched in sweat, Art slung his tennis bag over his shoulder and jogged over, his face lighting up with a mischievous grin.

“So uh, want to walk back to the dorms together?” he asked, sounding overly eager.

You squinted at him, wiping your forehead with the back of your hand. “Sure, but I need to shower first. You know, make it seem like I haven’t been pushed to my physical limits,” you said, gesturing to your sweaty attire.

Art laughed. “You have a single, why don't you just wait until you get back to your dorm?”

You groaned, shoving your racket into your bag. “That's the problem. The maintenance guy showed up at 7:30 this morning to tell us they’re shutting off the water from 8:00 a.m. to 4:00 p.m. only on my floor for some urgent plumbing issue.”

“Damn, that sucks. Are they even allowed to do that without giving anyone notice?”

“That's what I asked, but apparently, giving us 30 minutes notice is considered adequate. So, technically, they can,” you replied, rolling your eyes in exasperation. “I’ll be quick, though. Just need to rinse off. If you don’t wanna wait for me to chill, you can walk back to the dorms. I won’t be offended.”

Art shook his head. “I’ve got time, I’ll wait. I’ve gotta call someone anyways,” he said plopping down the bench and pulling out his phone.

“Alright weirdo, if you’re sure,” you said, dropping your tote bag next to him. “I’ll be super quick.” With that, you darted off to the girls' locker room.

As soon as you disappeared, Art pulled out his phone and dialed Patrick’s number. The phone barely rang before Patrick answered, his voice tense with impatience.

“Are you guys on the fucking way yet or am I going to have to wait longer?”

“Hello, sunshine!” Art greeted cheerily. “Your beloved is taking a quick shower. We’ll be there in about 25 to 30 minutes.”

Patrick groaned loudly. “Why didn’t you just tell her to shower in her dorm? I’ll lick the sweat off her if it means not waiting any longer.”

Art grimaced at his best friend’s comment. “The water’s out on her floor. She said she’s literally only rinsing off and changing. Just be patient. I’ll text you when to leave so we can time it perfectly.” A sigh rang out on the other line.

“If this plan doesn’t work and I’ve been hiding from my girlfriend for a couple hours for no reason, I’m going to seriously hurt you,” Patrick grumbled, staring out Art’s dorm window.

“Well she definitely thinks you're in New York visiting your parents,” Art paused, “I just had to talk her down from buying a plane ticket, so I think we’re good.”

“I told her I just got into the city a couple hours ago when I actually got to SFO. She was so upset yesterday when I said it’d be five days until we saw each other. She called me a fucking asshole, so I dont know what to do anymore.” Patrick said as he flopped onto Arts bed.

Art scribbled on his worksheet, humming in response. “Well, at least you know that she definitely misses you.”

“Yeah, but I’m not sure if she misses me or just wants to slap me in the face,” Patrick replied, exasperated.

Just then, Art saw you coming out of the locker room, chatting with one of your friends on the team. “Hopefully not the latter. Anyway she’s out. See you at 15. Don’t be late,” Art said flatly before hanging up, knowing Patrick and his unfortunate untimeliness. 

Art smiled up at you as you approached. “Who was that?” you asked, eyebrows raised.

“Our shared lover,” Art replied with a laugh, haphazardly shoving his worksheet and phone into his bag as he stood up.

“Aww, any exciting updates from Pat? He still stuck with his parents for another five days?” you teased, sticking your tongue out playfully.

“He just got to the city. He mentioned playing on the East River courts and paying someone to hold a spot for him,” Art lied smoothly.

“Sounds about right,” you said, sighing. “Anyway, I was talking to Nathalie over there…” you squinted, linking arms with Art as the two of you started the walk back to your dorm. “She mentioned a frat party happening tonight. Since Patrick’s trapped in New York, I figured why not go?”

“There’s going to be a keg stand, a ton of alcohol, and some shitty DJ or something,” you added, glancing at a group of students touring the campus before turning back to Art.

Art nodded, slightly wincing at the mention of the keg stand. “Wow, sounds like a lot of fun,” he replied sarcastically, earning a nod of agreement from you.

“I was planning on skipping it, but Nathalie really wants me to go. I thought if you came with me, it might actually be fun. Better than wallowing in my room wishing Patrick was here,” you admitted, biting your lip.

"Well, we had fun at that party last Friday, you remember right?" Art asked, smirking.

"Remember is a strong word," you replied, shaking your head with a laugh. "I think I have bits and pieces from that night. I do remember waking up still drunk at noon with my t-shirt on backwards and you snoring next to me in bed. Also like 5 missed calls from Patrick."

Art flashed you a lopsided grin. "Well, your bed's comfy, but I thought I was going to roll off in the middle of the night."

"Well, I stayed in my corner, I was flush against the wall as you were all sprawled out making yourself at home on my bed," you teased, nudging him playfully.

As you approached your dorm building, you noticed Art’s phone buzz. He glanced at it quickly, fumbling to put it away as a smile grew on his face. “What’s with the grin, weirdo?” you asked, narrowing your eyes suspiciously.

“Oh, nothing. Just a funny text,” Art replied too quickly, stuffing his phone back into his pocket.

You rolled your eyes. “You’re terrible at lying, you know that?”

“Who, me? Who said I’m lying, I’m the picture of innocence,” Art said defensively.

You shook your head. “Sure you are. Anyway, I think I’m gonna drop my stuff on the floor, crawl into bed, and maybe take a nap. Maybe we can think about that party, I can call you at 11 so we can pregame.”

“Sounds like a plan,” Art said with a nod. “I’ll walk you to your door.”

You smiled gratefully as the two of you ascended the stairs to your floor. Art talked animatedly about his plans for the weekend while you half-listened, preoccupied with thoughts of collapsing onto your bed and taking a deserved long nap.

"Yeah anyways, I'm thinking of catching up on some studying, this english class is kicking my ass," Art continued, unaware of your drifting attention. "Maybe I’ll go on a run later though. You could join me if you wanted, if you’re up."

"Maybe," you replied absentmindedly, reaching a hand into your tote bag sifting for your keys.

As you reached your door, frustrated with your bag, you dropped your tennis bag and lifted your whole tote up, practically sticking your face in it to find your keys. "I hate these fucking tote bags, I can’t find shit," you grumbled to Art, feeling a tap on your shoulder.

Startled, you turned around with a scowl— until you saw Patrick standing there, a mischievous grin on his face. "Patrick! What the fuck? What are you doing here-” you exclaimed, letting your tote bag fall to the floor and throwing your arms around him in a tight hug.

Patrick laughed, hugging you back just as tightly. "Surprise" he exclaimed, holding you close, smiling at Art over your shoulder.

You pulled back slightly, giving him an incredulous look. "You asshole! Trapped in New York with my parents, my ass!" you shook your head, playfully hitting him on the chest.

Patrick held his chest dramatically and leaned in, kissing your cheek lightly. "All part of the plan," he murmured. “Plus, I had a little help," he added, nodding towards Art, who was standing nearby with a smug expression.

You turned in Patrick's arms to face Art, scoffing in shock. "Art, you were in on this? You’re such a liar," you exclaimed.

Art shrugged. "Hey, I was just hosting him at my dorm while we were at practice. Technically, I didn’t lie—I just omitted a few details," he explained, grinning.

"How could you do this to me? Traitor!" you said dramatically, though a smile tugged at the corner of your lips.

Patrick wrapped his arms tighter around your waist, pulling you closer against him and resting his head on your shoulder. "Come on. You know it was worth it," he said, his tone teasing.

You sighed playfully, shaking your head at the pair of them. "I guess I can forgive you both this time," you conceded.

Patrick’s hand gently brushed through your hair as he settled his head into the curve of your neck. “You know I can’t stand it when you’re mad at me,” he said softly.

As you lingered in Patrick's embrace, you paused. "Wait, where's all your stuff?" you asked, pulling back slightly and turning to look up at him.

Patrick grinned, nodding towards your door. "In your dorm," he replied casually.

“Wow, Breaking and entering," you quipped, crossing your arms squinting at Art.

Art interjected with a laugh, "Actually, perfectly legal entering. You're the one who gave me a spare key."

You shook your head, "That's for emergencies, Art," you retorted, shooting him a mock glare.

Patrick turned you around to face him, his hands resting gently on your shoulders. "Come on, admit it, you're impressed," he teased.

You sighed, "I'm shocked you guys were able to pull this off, honestly," you admitted, shaking your head with amusement. Patrick laughed softly, rubbing your back soothingly.

Reluctantly pulling away from Patrick's arms, you grabbed your tote bag from the floor, turning to face Art and Patrick. "As much as this hallway talk is very exciting, I seriously need to find my keys. I'm exhausted," you declared half-joking.

After a brief search through your bag, you finally located your keys nestled among your belongings. Patrick picked up your tennis bag with a playful grin, indicating his readiness to follow you inside.

"Alright, Art, thank you," Patrick called out over his shoulder as you unlocked the door.

Art waved casually. "Have fun, be safe you two. I'll see you later," he replied as he walked down the hallway.

As the two of you entered your dorm room, you barely had enough time to place your bags on the floor before Patrick closed the gap between you and him and crashed his lips onto yours. His hands pulled you against him as he pressed your back against the door, placing his hands on either side of you almost boxing you in. His kisses were sloppy, teeth colliding as his lips moved against yours, hands desperately roaming your body, as if he couldn't get close enough to you.

You responded eagerly, melting into his embrace, your own hands finding their way into his hair, tugging him closer. His lips moved hungrily against yours, his tongue tracing your lower lip, hands roaming over your back, then up to cradle your face, pushing strands of hair away as he deepened the kiss.

"Patrick," you managed to gasp between kisses, your chest rising and falling with each breath. "I... I need to put my stuff away," you painted, reluctantly pulling back

Patrick leaned back, a mischievous smirk on his face, moving over to lean against your desk. "Sure," he murmured, his gaze lingering on you as you took out some things from your bag. "So, how was practice?" he asked, his voice low, as he looked you up and down.

You scoffed, a hint of satisfaction playing on your lips as you organized. "Heinous. I keep getting paired with this girl on the team who can't return any of my serves," you replied exasperatedly, glancing over at him.

Patrick raised an eyebrow, "maybe you should just go easy on her."

You shook your head, clicking your tongue in frustration. "I've tried to go easy on her, but she can't even play me when I do that. She acts like it's my fault she can't play for shit," you paused to sigh.

Patrick grinned, tracing a hand up and down your arm. "We both know you're too good for stanford women's tennis," he murmured, moving from the desk to stand behind you, his hands coming to rest on your hips and giving them a quick squeeze.

You whipped your head around, rolling your eyes and scoffing at his comment. "Careful," you say firmly.

Patrick put his hands up in mock surrender, his cocky grin never faltering. "Alright, alright. Sorry, my bad," he said. "You're right."

As an unspoken apology, Patrick moved closer, his hands gently moving up to your waist as he leaned in to kiss your neck softly. His lips left a warm trail on your skin, "I missed you," he murmured between kisses, his breath hot against your ear. “So much.”

You tilted your head slightly, allowing him better access, closing your eyes briefly to savor the sensation. "I missed you too," you hummed, your voice softening as you turned to face him fully. Your hands came to rest on his chest. "You know, I wish you would’ve just told me you were coming," you teased, carding your fingers through his hair.

Patrick's playful demeanor softened as he gazed into your eyes, his fingers brushing against your cheek as he pushed a stray lock of hair behind your ear. "Sorry again," he murmured sincerely, his breath mingling with yours. "Do you still love me?" he asked, clearly teasing and testing you.

You couldn't help but smile, your fingers threading through the strands of his hair at the nape of his neck. "I still love you, even with your elaborate lies," you replied, planting a sweet kiss on his lips. "But I have to say I knew something was up. Art was being weirder than normal."

Patrick hummed, his hands gently caressing your sides as he leaned in for another kiss.

"Hey? Are you even listening to me?" you asked, blinking up at him, a playful smirk tugging at your lips.

Patrick paused, his forehead resting against yours as he looked into your eyes. "Sorry, what did you say? I was a little distracted," he said, smiling.

You laughed softly, giving him a light shove. “I said Art was acting weirder than normal. I could tell he was hiding something.”

He shook his head and grinned, suddenly, he scooped you up over his shoulder, eliciting a surprised laugh from you as he carried you to the bed. Playfully flopping you down, his hands on either side of your head as he leaned in to kiss you again, his lips warm and insistent.

"So, what's our plan for tonight?" he asked between kisses, his fingers tracing light patterns on your sides.

You sighed softly, your words catching in your throat as his kisses became more fervent. "Well, there's this party my friend invited me to," you managed to say, struggling to speak coherently. "But last time I went out with Art, it was a shit show," you paused, trying to focus as his lips trailed down your collarbone, "but you're here, so we can do… whatever you want," you finally managed to say, your voice breathless with desire.

"Can we?" Patrick teased, his tone dripping with innuendo, his kisses becoming more urgent and needy.

You sighed deeply, rolling your eyes. "You know, you're impossible," you muttered, shaking your head. "But yes, we can."

Patrick grinned triumphantly, his hands roaming over your body as he leaned in to kiss you again, his hunger for you evident in every touch and movement. "Good," he murmured against your lips. "I think I just want you to be myself tonight."

"Freaky," you quipped, biting your tongue to hide a laugh.

With a self-assured grin, Patrick swiftly removed his T-shirt, revealing his lean and tan body. His gaze never left yours as he leaned back in, his lips finding yours with intensity. Your fingers traced lightly over his chest as you meshed together, and through kisses, you opened your eyes for a moment, gaze fixed on the freckles dotting his nose and cheeks.

"You've got more freckles," you observed with a playful smile, pulling back slightly, teasingly tracing each tiny mark with your fingertip.

Patrick grinned warmly, his eyes crinkling as he removed his lips from yours pulling you into a tight hug. "You're so cute," he murmured, squeezing you against him. His hands gently moved up to cup your face, his thumbs brushing against your cheeks as he pulled you closer, lips looking for another kiss with a soft sigh of contentment slipping out. His gaze, filled with adoration and longing, locked onto yours, silently expressing his deep affection.

"Fuck, you're so pretty," he whispered, his voice low and filled with awe. You locked eyes with him, your own expression softening as you smiled, your fingers tracing the curve of his jaw.

Without breaking eye contact, Patrick's hands moved to the hem of your T-shirt, his touch almost insistent. He lifted the fabric, exposing your skin to the cool air and his heated gaze, with the T-shirt slipped over your head and thrown to the floor, forgotten. His gaze traveled downward, taking in the sight of you, bare-chested in front of him, a cheeky grin began to spread across his face. 

You rolled your eyes, whacking his arm. "Are you 13?" you teased.

Patrick laughed, unfazed as his hands and mouth roamed your newly exposed skin, his lips moving back to your collarbone, placing soft kisses along its length. Your remaining clothes were shed in a flurry, falling to the floor as you both moved with urgency desperately reconnecting.

Finally, as your kisses slowed and the two of you were breathing somewhat heavily, you rolled onto him, resting your head on his chest. His arms wrapped around you instinctively, pulling you close, with the steady rhythm of his heartbeat beneath your ear.

"I love you," Patrick murmured softly, placing a lovingly sweet kiss onto your forehead.

You met his gaze with a soft smile. "Is that just because we had incredible reunion sex?" you teased lightly, a playful challenge in your voice. "Or do you love me all the time?"

Patrick laughed, his fingers moving up and down on your back. "Only for the sex, it's usually worth the plane ticket," he teased back, with a smile. "Just kidding. I love you all the time," he replied earnestly, as a grin started forming on his face.

Leaning up from his chest, you pressed a sloppy kiss against his mouth, your hands tangling into his hair as you felt the corners of his lips curve into a smile against yours. "I knew it," you murmured against his lips, a hint of amusement in your voice.

"Say it back," Patrick urged with a playful grin, attempting to deepen the kiss, but you playfully pulled away before he could capture your lips again.

Rolling your eyes theatrically, you feigned annoyance, though your smile betrayed your true feelings. "Fine," you replied, leaning in to kiss him once more. "I love you too, freak."

[mymoshangthoughts]

oki oki oki

so i love, you love, and we love the whole "everyone sees moshang except for moshang" thing, bc it's funny to have everyone else be like "ohwow those two idiots dont realize they're married huh"

but like

might i suggest the alternative?

idk i was rereading svsss and like, since the whole thing is basically shen yuan's pov and he's a relatively level headed dude, i can't help but think about the way that he looks at moshang

like, he really doesn't seem to have any idea that moshang could be a thing. from his pov, shang qinghua/airplane is a sniveling backstabbing asshole who gets what deserves and deserves quite a bit more thwacks and mobei jun is just kinda... there. like even after knowing shang qinghua for YEARS and being fairly close people who can confide in one another, shen yuan seems pretty fucking shocked when airplane jumps off a cliff to save mobei jun. from his pov, it's almost random. like "huh wow that is the weirdest thing i've seen all week, and airplane is NORMALLY very weird so like... huh???"

now by the time the airplane extras occur, shen yuan DOES seem to have some idea of moshang with his whole "youre just waiting for him to apologize and keep beating you" thing, but again, might i point you to the YEARS it took him to get to that point. having to see shang qinghua literally pull a death defying stunt to save mobei jun's life before he sees even a glimmer of moshang

like, when they were working on the mushroom together, they clearly spent a long time with each other. they had to travel together, they had to come up with plans together, they also likely just had social visits bc being the only other transmigrator in a world that is so fucking weird would definitely drive up a certain level of honesty and companionship

now again, shen yuan is lowkey the sort of guy who's like "i dont see gay themes even when they're reeeeaaalllyy obvious", especially with relation to himself (dont get me started on how one of my least fav mxtx themes, after the blatant crummy treatment of female characters, is the whole "im not GAY, gay is WEIRD, im gay FOR YOU, thats DIFFERENT" which winds up reflecting as internalized homophobia their protags), so it's possible that moshang is obvious to everyone who isnt shen yuan.

BUT I CONTEND THE OPPOSITE

as ive expressed before, i love "mobei jun is just fucking weird, demon courting isnt like that" headcanons, so what if no one knows what the fuck is happening between moshang. like they're just this super weird mismatched combination of people that everyone just kinda tilts their head at like "...huh, wouldnt expect to see those two together but whateves" and then proceed to not fucking care to know the answer

shang qinghua seems to have kept a purposeful emotional distance from... everyone (likely due to the whole "haha everyone here is gonna fucking DIE someday" thing) and as said above, even after years of a relationship with shen yuan, he doesn't seem to have talked about mobei jun to him much (who is, by airplane's own admission, the most important person to him in this world considering he's the only person that had airplane going "i mean... maybe i dont push the go home button?"). so no one really seems to give a fuck who he's hanging out with bc he's not exactly out here making friends

and mobei jun, i contend, is a weirdo outcast who does not know how to socialize bc his uncle is a dick LOL. also his father. and also his childhood. and other demons tend to look at him and go "fucking weird man... i think he keeps a human pet?? kinda weird but w/e, the emperor is into necrophilia so /shrug/"

so like, maybe if anyone paid attention to them, they might notice the signs of moshang, but because most people kinda dismiss them, no one knows

I CONTEND THAT THE ONLY ONE WHO DOES KNOW IS LUO BINGHE THO

mostly because i find it FUCKING HILARIOUS but also bc i like to think luo binghe's whole "youre not used to his lil human pet yet? he brings it everywhere smh get over yourself" thing was luo binghe's way of being a wingman lmfao. he wont actually help or offer advice or do anything USEFUL, but he'll allow them to hang out when he has every ability to separate them LOL and i think that's funny

altho i still like the idea of luo binghe ALSO not knowing that moshang is a thing pfff. but having him know also amuses me.

ANYWAY ONTO THE ACTUAL APPLICATION INTO MOSHANG IDEAS

now the use in modern au's goes without saying. the good ol' "wait, THOSE TWO ARE A THING?!" coming from everyone who knows them. as an example, some form of workplace romance and even tho moshang can always be seen together in the office, because they dont seem to get along and no one cares, everyone is just like "shrug, they have a project together idc". like they're more likely to think that shang qinghua and shen yuan are dating bc at least those two have secretive meetings and have been caught, more than once, talking about sex. then one day shang qinghua shows up to work with the biggest rock on his finger pfff and mobei jun has a matching wedding band or someshit and everyone is shocked. or even better, some of the romantic pre-relationship stuff starts happening at the office but it's all stuff that's kinda easily misunderstood. and since no one would guess THOSE TWO together romantically, they just come up with any other plausible explanation. "why did mobei jun send shang qinghua flowers? idk, maybe his mom died. should we send him flowers too?" its not even a 'it couldnt be THAT', it's a straight up 'THAT never even crossed their minds for a second' until it gets really fucking ridiculous lololol then mobei jun and shang qinghua are applying for the same days off and mu qingfeng in HR is like "oki what for" and has to NOT do a spit-take when the two of them are like "our wedding" or someshit lolol

LOOK I JUST THINK IT'S VERY FUNNY

now as for the post-canon application, i still find this IMMENSELY amusing. for the sake of my amusement, im also choosing to interpret shen yuan's "you just want an apology" statement to have been given without imagining that the two of them might like-like each other. he's just being dismissive because airplane is fucking weird. like "look, idk why you are into role-playing as a humble servant and idk if i wanna know, actually, i definitely dont wanna know. you two clearly dont even like each other but you're in some weird co-dependent mess of a... friendship? friendship seems like a strong word. point being, get out of my house"

no one has the slightest clue about moshang's feelings for one another (except maybe binghe lolol) and they are REALLY not ready for when suddenly, seemingly out of nowhere, shang qinghua is sending in his two weeks notice for an ding peak bc "oh im the northern consort now lol" and everyone is trying to just understand WHEN and HOW

like people straight up being like "is this a prank? i feel like im being pranked?" and others like "oh they might have gotten like... fake married? is this an insurance scam? hmm"

and basically for the first time ever people are really trying to understand and think about moshang bc they are SO FUCKING CONFUSED. there are betting pools over what the REAL REASON behind this CLEARLY fake marriage is. luo binghe has put his bet on "they're actually in love and fr married" and people SCOFF. he's the only one betting that and wow, the demon emperor is clearly blinded by his own weird relationship and cant see that NORMALLY this sort of relationship would NEVER happen

(actually this could apply for modern au too pff whateves, im jsut having fun here)

inquiring minds just being like "shang qinghua, blink twice if you're being threatened, we can get you out of there". demons out here like "we should prrobabblyy find the cure for whatever potent love-poison that creepy lil human slipped into mobei jun's drink, or maybe a mind-control plant?"

stuck on whether i want moshang to be utterly oblivious to everyone elses skepticism bc they're just on their happy lil honeymoon stage or if i want them to find the confusion Deeply amusing.

moshang get-together being dramatic but not bc either of them are oblivious, just bc there are communication issues pff. theres no "i love you" "but you CANT love me" drama, instead its "i love you" "oh shit SWEET, lemme hop on your dick". i like the idea of moshang only struggling to understand one another when the pair of them are holding the other at arms length (mobei jun being a tsundere and airplane out here like "getting attached and taking things srsly IS THE ENEMY") but whenever theres like, a clear statement of intent, they're quick to let go of misunderstandings and just get on with it. now while i favor this interpretation of their characters, i find it PARTICULARLY funny in au's like this! bc it also means that the pair of them learned to understand all of their weird behavior as well. so they're still fucking weird around each other, so people really dont believe this is real. mobei jun is still just as likely to yeet shang qinghua into a death cave and shang qinghua is just as likely to literally hug mobei jun's thighs while pleading for mercy. it doesnt LOOK like a loving relationship to anyone with eyes LOL (not to say that they dont grow and treat each other better, but just having a deeper understanding of one another means they dont change behavior 100%)

which actually isnt why i find it funny lol, i just enjoy the subversion of expections. rather than moshang being oblivious to the point of mind-numbing hair pulling stupidity, it's the rest of the world x'D and then it's just moshang casually proving that nah, they're for real, and yep, they're super in love, to an increasingly confused audience

this could work really well in a celebrity au now that i think about it LOL bc celebs so frequently have fake relationships and hidden relationships and all that sort of weird shit and people love to speculate about it online. so just everyone being like "calling it right fucking now, this relationship is a publicity stunt" and literally NO ONE believes they're for real, even years into it LOL. im actually usually a person who really doesnt care for celebrity au's but tbh this prompt fits so well for that, so im sold

but it goes beyond just fans speculating online. even fellow coworkers are like "huh, weird choice of publicity stunt" and dont believe for one fucking second that moshang is actually happening. oki yeah im sold

shang qinghua - famous author turned screenwriter (does some directing and he's actually pretty good at it, has a cult following, but mainly he sticks to writing. he doesnt need that kind of stress in his life LOL). he's finally reached a sort of financial stability with his work, but he hasnt broken the habit of doing whatever the audience wants because "I DONT WANNA FUCKING STARVE BRO", and he's generally disheartened when his works that he puts his sincere vision into have a tendency to be SIGNIFICANTLY less popular

mobei jun - actor, specially known for stunts and action movies. doesnt actually have any history of scandals, other than it's known that he's kinda hard to work with. just kinda cold and distant. THERE ARE some lowkey scandals with his family tho. he's definitely a nepo baby of the industry and his uncle and father dont have clean reputations. mobei jun normally keeps a pretty big distance away from them so he's kinda like, in the splash zone but not dragged in.

shen yuan - long time fan of shang qinghua's work, even back when the hack of an author was just posting web novels, his favorite insult is to call him a sell-out bc very often his deepest criticisms of shang qinghua's works are clearly choices made for money. as an example, a perfectly directed film that he wrote and nearly brought shen yuan to tears and quickly became his favorite movie EXCEPT theres fucking product placement in NEARLY EVERY FUCKING SCENE and sometimes it makes the movie fucking UNWATCHABLE. anyway, shen yuan runs the fansite for shang qinghua and is a LITTLE BIT OBSESSED with his works, but still has a love/hate relationship with the whole thing

luo binghe - pop idol who sometimes does acting work. he's known as an all-around talent. his acting is just as good as his singing, if not better, and basically everything he tries to do is wildly successful and genuinely fucking good. he's insanely popular to a scary degree (shen yuan is only familiar with his work bc he's acted in some of qinghua's movies and sometimes qinghua uses his music, shen yuan has an overall favorable impression of the celebrity but no obsession. mostly a "oh nice, that actor is really good, that and THAT HACK AUTHOR directing is sure to make this a must-watch movie" type of fanning)

liu qingge - stunt man and martial artist. he's not crazy famous, he's more like "if you're really into martial arts, you've definitely heard of him" or "if you're really into stunt work, you've heard of him" famous. but if you don't have those special interests, you have no idea. he MIGHT look faintly familiar to you, but you're unlikely to put a name to the face

shen jiu - actor, many scandals, SO MANY SCANDALS. he's very successful, infamously difficult to work with, has so many accusations hurled at him (and a majority of them are true) that when you hear "omg did you hear abt shen jiu" the answer is "ohyeah, the red-light district thing?" and the reply to that is "nonono, that was LAT MONTH, im talking abt the abuse allegations that came out yesterday!" and so on and so forth. shen jiu is a hot fucking mess and the industry has NOT helped him one bit. he has the money and power to get away with being his worst self and he Does Not Fucking Care (he cares so fucking much, he's literally burning from the inside out)

yue qingyuan - childhood friends with shen jiu, kind of accidentally being an enabler of shen jiu's spiral to hell. he's a producer and he's very successful and he keeps paving the way for shen jiu to continue getting work and help to bury scandals and basically the dude is trying his best, but he really should be putting his foot down and sending his friend to rehab instead of helping him like this

sha hualing - actress, does her own stunts, very temperamental. difficult to work with in that she's a bit (a lot) of a loose canon. she's hyper capable though and VERY popular. not a ton of scandals other than some violent behavior. she's also very good at dancing, basically anything that involves moving her body, she excels. her and mobei have totally starred in action movies together where theyre basically "hot beefy action hero and sexy badass love interest". they have a casual frenemy relationship

liu mingyan - average fanfiction writer, huge fan of rpf. she is relatively untouched by her brothers fame and intends to keep it that way. that said, she's more than happy to utilize the gossip that her brother sometimes brings home to implement as 'headcanons' into her fanfics >:D she does not tell her brother about this pfff. she also does martial arts and she's very good, but she has no desire to pursue fame. the closest she gets to it is sometimes watching her brother on a set (while secretly paying attention to everyone else for rpf bait LOL). she is not a fan of the whole moshang thing because it separates her otp (mobing for life!) and she's also convinced that its CLEARLY fake

mu qingfang - doctor, just a normal doctor, no fame involved. but his guilty pleasure is that he enjoys looking at celebrity gossip while on break. it's just a very lowkey sort of cathartic drama that he has no stakes in and helps him destress from his very stressful job. he mostly just lurks, but he's been known to write the occasional comment if he feels he has some useful insight to contribute

ning yingying - over-worked office lady. she wanted to be a pop idol when she was younger but it just wasnt in the cards. now she just enjoys getting a little parasocially invested in celebrity gossip, ESPECIALLY around luo binghe bc she's a. a mega fan. b. they were actually classmates in highschool. she's a fierce defender of his online and also one of those people who gets kinda offended by rpf bc "HOW COULD YOU THINK THAT" but also hypocritically will read every single "rpf character x reader" fanfic she can get her hands on

ming fan - luo binghe's hater online. mostly because he also knew him in highschool and hated the guy and now he's ugly jealous of his success. he likes to spread mean rumors about binghe online, just to blow off some steam. but his stupid obsession with slandering his ex-classmate sort of grew into a genuine interest in celebrity gossip and now he's a bit of an internet troll who's a little too invested in this shit. he's not a complete asshole and there are lines he won't cross, buuut he's also one of those assholes who sorta feels like "its online so it doesnt count if im a huge asshole" and just is his worst self online. he constantly gets in fights with ning yingying online (without knowing its her) about luo binghe. shen yuan sometimes gets involved too bc while he's not huge into the binghe fandom (that place scares him) he IS big on fact checking and whenever ming fan says something OBVIOUSLY false, shen yuan can't help but go in for corrections

qi qingqi - actress, successful, very low drama. she's famous and well liked, no major scandals, just a successful woman with a good career.

zhuzhi-lang - works as his uncles assistant. he keeps track of online drama because its part of his job, sometimes his uncle has him spread rumors online too so he has a few alts that are believable fan accounts for various celebrities.

tianlang-jun - one of those people who's basically famous just for being famous. he has done a bit of everything, but it's mostly that he's a household name that makes him famous. he currently works as a producer because he finds it really fucking funny. but it's anyones guess when he'll get bored of this and flit off to do something else that catches his fancy

su xiyan - model and martial artist. she's mostly famous for her TURBULANT relationship with tianlang-jun. she's skilled at both her crafts and has success, but she has no real ambition for fame. also her career is often held back by the shitty people in her life (her ex-mentor being PRIME among them, the grooming old scumbag). she got pregnant with binghe very early in her career and gave him away for adoption for various reasons. she has a good relationship with his adopted mother, but she's chosen to stay out of binghe's life. tianlang-jun doesn't know binghe is his son LOL

meng mo - thinks of himself as a star-maker, he's luo binghe's manager and has a VERY high opinion of his skills bc he's had a few successful clients. he does however tend to give very bad personal life advice

yang yixuan - one of liu qingge's students. he's only passively aware of celebrity gossip, it's really not his thing, but he is a bit of a mobei jun fan. mostly bc mobei jun does his own stunts and yan yixuan can recognize the skill involved and just thinks the guy is really fucking cool (not more cool than liu qingge OBVIOUSLY but still cool). he's very disappointed to hear abt this clearly fake relationship with shang qinghua, he thought that mobei jun was above all that petty celebrity bullshit of fake relationships and tabloid bait

gongyi xiao - aspiring young actor, overall just a nice guy. no scandals, not really famous yet but he has a promising lil fanbase that is slowly growing. however, he does have a bad habit of answering too honestly while being interviewed which can inadvertently have bad consequences LOL (example: "so what do you think of this moshang thing?" "hm, i mean, it really surprised me? seemed out of nowhere haha, i guess good for them??" which quickly spirals into "omg gongyi xiao CLEARLY knows it's fake! he cant lie for shit! THIS IS BASICALLY EVIDENCE")

qin wanyue - binghe fan, terminally parasocial, lives off of rpf fanfiction, literally missed her younger sisters funeral to attend a binghe concert, probably needs professional help like yesterday. when the online conversations of moshang start involving binghe, she gets VERY FUCKING UPSET

little palace mistress - nepo baby pop idol. very obsessed with binghe but also in a love/hate sort of way bc he doesnt do what she WANTS him to do and she craves the obedience. she takes out her impudent rage online. she's a big mobei jun hater bc she saw the mobing conspiracies before moshang happened AND SHE SAW RED. she now wants moshang to crash and burn bc she hates mobei jun with an irrational passion. she is doing her best to sabotage whatever stupid publicity stunt this is

(ships: moshang, bingyuan, liujiu, mingling)

moshang had their own super slowburn romance of actor x director that happened over the course of years and the mutual pining was basically killing them both and they had their own dramatic love confessions and shit, but it all happened behind closed doors so no one knows any of that. all they know is that this relationship Makes No Sense and internet sleuths are very invested with UNCOVERING THE TRUTH

[silverzoomies]

Ok so I've been a fan of Evan since days of future past came out. Like, the day it came out. I saw the premier or whatever it's called in theaters so DUH I LOVE QUICKSILVER SO MUCH 😞😞 anyways I know you're not taking requests but like I'm a little bit chubby (this is relevant I swear) and I CANNOT stop thinking about Peter and reader! being in a serious long term relationship, but they haven't gone all the way yet. Like, heavy make out session? Yes! Peter getting painfully hard during said make out session? Check. Make out session turns into peters desperately grinding, letting out the neediest little whines. Absolutely. Him definitely busting in his pants at readers! breathless little moans? Every. Single. Time. Never all the way though. He desperately wants to bone but he's willing to wait as long as he wants to because he thinks reader! doesn't want to, but they're just as desperate as he is but scared of what he would think because they're chubby. During one of their heated.. laundry day inducing make out sessions one thing leads to another and reader! ends up telling Peter why they haven't wanted to go all the way, and Peter proves to them he doesn't think that [;)] and talks reader! through it the whole time.

YOU DONT HAVE TO ADD THIS TO YOUR REQUESTS OR TURN IT INTO A FIC IF YOU DONT WANT TO. I just had to share this with somebody and OBVIOUSLY because you're one of my favorite writers I had to come to you with this (hi I've sent u a lot of messages 🎀) and since you're another huge quickie fan I thought you'd enjoy this :3 SORRY IF THIS WAS SUPER LONG OR IF IT DIDNT MAKE SENSE I'm mad at typing sometimes smh

helllooooooo anon, my lovely !!! i love you so much !! forgive me, i haven't written in a while !! i tried my best to make somethin' out of this because it was such a cute idea !! i hope a headcanon list will suffice !! also, please don't ever apologize for sending me long asks. i'm not kidding when i say they make my day, i love them so much !!

headcanons || peter maximoff x chubby!reader

to preface, i think we should consider some key things about our speedy goofball

peter’s a mutant. he knows exactly what it feels like to be alienated for something he has no control over

second of all, the guy’s a little bit of a weirdo

i legitimately doubt he would judge, or think less of anyone for something as superficial as looks

seriously. If he vibes with you, and you’re patient enough with him - you’re sexy as hell

it’s as simple as that, sorry. just bein' honest

so what if you’re a little thicker? he can’t get enough of you

he’s so addicted to you, in fact, you’ve got him trippin’ a little bit

like, he’s kinda goin’ cuckoo

the two of you make out a lot. so much. it’s like you’re glued to one another. any free time you have together usually consists of hanging out, and making out. not that he’s complaining

it’s definitely awesome. and it feels totally great. he does this freaky thing with his tongue that makes you squirm under him every time 

and the way you whine into each smooch - oh, man - you have him longing to get even closer

make outs eventually turn to dry humping. it’s kind of humiliating the first few times...

...since the grinding always seems to end with him busting a load in his jeans. and he whimpers too much...jeez...

but you always praise him for it, which never fails to turn him on even more

things get so heated between the two of you, escalating so often - peter finds himself confused

like…why haven’t you let him…y’know…

once or twice, he hints he wants to go down on you. and there’s no way you misread his signals. he’s pretty blunt about his needs

but you’re always so reluctant. you feign ignorance, or try to distract him with more intense kisses and pretty moans

peter’s never been a patient guy. the fact that he’s willing to wait this long for you says a lot. like, shit…he must really really really like you

but even now…fuck…he’s so worked up. he’s getting a little too bored of being limited to smooching

like, c’mon…do you think he’s ugly or something?? does he smell?? what’s the deal??

he never considered you might be self conscious. his brain doesn’t really operate like that. he’s all impulsivity and living in the moment

in the midst of making out, his hands travel where they don’t usually dare to go. he takes confident chances, fondling your tits over your clothes. but just as things heat up, you redirect his attention again

his blood almost boils. he’s way too hard for this, aching to get closer, and you’re just…gah! why’re you holdin’ yourself back? 

at last, you confess…you’ve been self conscious the whole time

ah

why didn’t you just say somethin’ before? peter tries not to laugh at how silly you sound. obviously, he’s super attracted to you. why else would he spend all his free time with you, tryna get up close and personal?

as things finally move forward, he dials up the sweetness a few notches

and damn, the wait for this was more than worth the uptick in laundry days (thanks to one too many nuts busted in his boxers)

he covers every last inch of your gorgeous body in kisses, as you let him shed you of your clothes

his masculine hands are more gentle than you expect

unclothed together, he doesn’t hesitate to get as close as he possibly can

you’re soft and cozy, and his body is like a furnace

months of pent-up desire leave him so horny, he can’t hold back anymore

through it all, he’s quick to remind you how much of a fox you are. peter teases you with his tongue in ways you never imagined possible. before rocking your world, flowing with the motion of the ocean

and by that, i mean…you bone. balls deep. hellz to the yeah

embarrassingly enough, it ends just as soon as it starts. but as usual, he recovers fast. and his endless stamina means he’s willing to go at it for hours

which he does. until you’re so exhausted, your limbs are like limp noodles. whoops...sorry about that !!

say...uh...no chance you'd wanna go another round, is there?

peter hopes you’ll be more up front with him from now on. so he spends less time dreamin', and more time goin' at it 🤍

[heart-freak]

okay fuck it. helsmit dynamics made by yours truly.not really it was also me and the bestie @angelfriez .i talk about these guys a lot (im going to be executed) Bad(TimeswithScar) and Truesymmetry are BESTIESS. friends, even. wlw mlm solidarity except Bad is agender .he/it fellow. npc is a kiddo.his adopitve dad is GrimDog and you just have to follow me here.just listen, ok? yes grim takes care of him. Grim and Helsknight are like! brothers! not biologically they are not blood related but they are brothers.just trust. Renbob is grim's actual biological brother .ren too but nvm(bob is youngest, ren is a middle child, and grim is old man.slightly older than ren but dying and having a decaying body rlly does numbers on you.) npc views robot gri as like a brother, and ariana griande as an? aunt? i suppose. she babysits him sometimes also she's has something going on with True, i don't know, don't ask. i have no idea how he viewslike, poultry man, i have to think about that.. npc doesn't like grian.neither does grim but tbh can you blame either of them wormman is just.well he's there. we love wormman tbh hels and E.X. are idfk. not my problem .aspec, both of them E.X. and wormy are friendsss, somehow, they're very silly.or something. bob and grim are grea.t theyre like opposites but they love each other(brotherly love) !! ren is chill w bob but not grim.Ren really shouldn't be talking, especially not in winter, but he does anyways. bob loves his brothers forever and always hels and wels are fucking weirdos ,god couldnt telly ou why theyre like that. theyre not brothers ex and xisumma are like.w ell its complicated. they would both kill people if given the chance, however i dont even know if false knows about true. things got really complicated when empires s2 started gri knows about all his counterparts. i dont think he cares about any of them. where is jrumbot, grian minecraft? where's that little robot? although he seems chill with ari i feel like scar and bad are on equal terms of evilness actually zedaph knows wormman.ofc. never any doubt. sometimes wormy just appears. oh..i forgot about dr tangno... well there's not a lot ab him.yknow

[synnamon-hearts]

if my last prompt wasnt your jam dont worry i have.. more ideas cuz im insane.

Chris who's that stereotypical awkward geek but is secretly like a mega freak? reads smut, has different types of fleshlights.. maybe even a twitter nsfw account where he totally is a dom online.. ugghfh need that weirdo to FUUUCK me

Gotta do this quick cuz omfg I love it and wanna get it done before I gotta go! Maybe I'll do a part two in the next year (haha I love that joke) to flesh it out better. 👀

NSFW down below!

𖹭~𖹭~𖹭~𖹭~𖹭~𖹭~𖹭~𖹭~𖹭~𖹭~𖹭~𖹭~𖹭~𖹭~𖹭~𖹭~𖹭~𖹭~𖹭~𖹭~𖹭~𖹭~𖹭~𖹭~𖹭~𖹭~𖹭

Awww, poor sweet Chris. Too shy to talk to girls in a normal way when he comes face-to-face with them. When you first meet him, you think he is just an innocent little cinnamon roll. I mean he certainly does seem that way.

Oh but do you get a surprise when you come across his social media. Of course, it isn't his normal Twitter account. No no no, that account is for his friends and family. One day you get a random follow (Follow? Is that how it works on Twitter? I don't use it 😂) by an account under the user of "techdaddy69". Odd? Who could this be? The account page is full of dominant quotes, filthy porn clips, and even fanfic snippets. (Can make it kinkier if Ashley is the one writing them 👀) Your questions are soon answered when you get a message.

"Hey angel, I know I seemed a bit quiet when we met earlier. Care for me to make it up to you?"

OH, then it clicks! It's Chris! Omgomgomg! This is crazy! Quickly you text a response back.

"I wouldn't be opposed to that ;)"

You figured playing it cool was best. Your nerves are high when you see him instantly texting back.

"What can I do for you, baby?"

"Hmm... What can you do?"

"Oh baby, I bet you underestimate me. I can do things none of those guys in your past could even dream up. And I've had practice"

Suddenly, images come flooding onto the screen. Dozens and dozens of toys, mainly fleshlights of different sizes and colors meet your eyes. It's quite mesmerizing in a way.

𖹭~𖹭~𖹭~𖹭~𖹭~𖹭~𖹭~𖹭~𖹭~𖹭~𖹭~𖹭~𖹭~𖹭~𖹭~𖹭~𖹭~𖹭~𖹭~𖹭~𖹭~𖹭~𖹭~𖹭~𖹭~𖹭~𖹭

"I see this lol" you respond jokingly.

"I can show you more. Just say the word, and I'm all yours"

"For how long?"

You giggle at the dumb question but it quickly gets shut up by his next reply, bringing forth a deep blush to tint your heated cheeks.

"For as long as you like babygirl ;) Wanna be my little new sub?"

Is this a dream? This has to be a dream, right? Throwing all common sense out the window, you text your acceptance to his proposal and hit send as your panties grow more wet due to suspense, only to grow soaked by his next message.

"Careful what you wish for, baby. I'm no soft dom. I'll whip you into shape to be the perfect sub for me, starting now. You ready?"

[a-court-of-moonlight-and-ire]

What is UP moonlight and ire nation, Im being tormented by intrusive thoughts rn, so I have decided to read a chapter of A Court of Mist and Fury and hope they stop when Im done with this. Last time on the Flames and Darkness Liveblog we had Lucien finally finding Feyre and Feyre being needlessly cruel to him until he left again. also, Feyre used her Tamlin-powers to shapeshift herself a pair of wings and I think that was pretty much it, I feel like not a lot happens in these chapters tbh. And yet I always have so much to say to say about them... Whatever, lets get into this

Chapter 48

Is Feyre smelling the other people at this inn having sex? what kinda smells and noises is she talking about

Theyre in a village that consists of just the inn theyre staying at, a tailor, a grocery store and a brothel? I mean presumably theres actual houses there too but that doest seem right. Also, if its as in-the-middle-of-nowhere as Feyre claims, where the hell are they getting groceries and what kind of groceries are they selling

of course theres only ONE BED and its soooooo small oh noooo do you guys think theyre gonna have sex or what

Oh and of course Feyre cant demand that Rhysand sleep on the floor because its too small to even do that theyre gonna have the wildest sex, and by wildest sex I mean theyre both gonna squeeze each other into the bed under the comically small ceiling of this broomcloset of a room and lay on top of each other without moving like a sandwhch made out of just faemeat

I feel like a cape thats cut to fit around these bigass illyrian wings would lose a lot of its functionality tbh, unless it was like, a wrapping for the wings to protect them from the cold, but I dont think thats the case with Rhysand's cape, i think it either just has holes or is some kind of weird shape, but I feel like if your in these harsh winter winds, having a cape fluttering around your wings would be pretty distracting considering how sensitive supposedly they are

WAIT. do we count this cape as a new Rhys-outfit or do we not. Im on the fence because on one hand, he's just wearing it with his usual illyrian leathers and its really just an accessoire, like I wouldnt count what he wore in the CoN as a new outfit just because he wore a crown with his black tunic, but on the other hand, I feel like a cape can really drastically alter the look of an outfit in a way most other acessoires cant. let me know what you think

of COURSE feyre would call the hypothetical painting she would make of Rhysand 'Death on Fast Wings' im gonna commit a crime

'"I love it when you look at me like that. [...] Like there's no reason to run away from my power. Like you're looking at me."' Does this imply that Rhysand identifies with the descriptor 'death on fast wings' because idk that seems weird. then again, he is a weirdo

Rhysand's pronouns are death/incarnate <- thought that popped into my head while I was writing the previous bullet point

By far the worst part about this book are all the sections where Feyre will just suck Rhysand off for a paragraph, she would not fucking say that

'"No, [you weren't afraid of me]. You were nervous, but you weren't afraid. I've felt pure fear often enough that I know the difference. Maybe that's why I couldn't leave you alone."' god, rhysand is such a creepy little freak. and not the good kind either

Feyre is being all like "oh, sure, the bed isnt small but we couldnt possibly both sleep in it without completely getting into each other's personal space, especially with his wings" girl??? tell him to put those thangs away???

god this paragraph is so annoying 'Fae-men were possessive, dominant and arrogant but the men of the Spring Court had a certain disregard [for my wishes] laying beneath the the surface' my brother in christ you have been in two and a half (2 1/2) courts and you know seven (7) fae-men personally

Also, this part where Feyre is like "if I was wasting away and Rhysand just stood by without doing anything about it, Cassian and Azriel would've gotten involved and given him a piece of their minds" is so funny knowing whats gonna happen in acosf, like no they fucking wouldnt! what are you talking about!

Oh man it just occurred to me. this is the chapter where Feyre finds out theyre mates isnt it. Or like, this part whre theyre at this inn is when she finds out, Im pretty sure itll last for multiple chapters

"[Rhysand] saw right through Ianthe the moment he met her." yeah because she broke into his bedroom and sexually harassed him and just outright told him that she wanted to have his children for the sake of power ?? I would hope he would see through that

I feel like theres been this pattern in this book of Feyre only being able to compliment Rhys in contrast with Tamlin and its very strange because you would think that after speedrunning their relationship development and spending about 500 pages worth of time with him, she would be able to point out some of his positives without immediately connecting them to her ex's negatives, but I guess thats too much to ask of this ROMANCE

Like, I forgot if this was something Feyre already said or if this is still coming up but I know theres a point in this book where she's like "I think I just loved Tamlin pre-UTM because I was so broken and traumatized from my shitty homelife that I fell for the first person to show me some kindness" and that is not how their relationship felt in ACOTAR at all atleast in my opinion, but that definitely is how Feysand feels in this book

I really hate it when male characters are described as having "hard muscles" it sounds so unpleasant. im saying this primarily as someone who likes to read about characters cuddling and prefers it when theyre soft for that, but even if we're just talking smut, does having sex with a "hard" guy sound pleasant to you? or, well. you know what i mean

!! NEW RHYS-OUTFIT DROPPED !! hes wearing wide thin pants (even though theyre sleeping in an ice cold broom closet) and a tight cotton shirt, both of unspecified color

Oh yeah, Rhysand is just sooooooo powerful you guys, he needs to constantly use his magic otherwise itll just take him over and turn him into the joker

'Everyone at his Court had a use, some kind of great ability. And here I was, a strange, unpredictable hybrid that was more trouble than it's worth.' girl you are literally fae jesus what the hell are you talking about

Maybe Im just in a bad mood but this part where Rhys n Feyre are telling each other about how they would tear the world apart if they were ever forcefully seperated is so deeply annoying to me

Im not gonna translate the shit Rhysand just said to Feyre, tldr he thinks shes hot and wants to fuck her but the room is too small for that woe is him, and ughhhh. Im struggling to explain this in a way that doesnt make me sound puritanical, but something about the horniness of their relationship makes it feel really gross to me, its not just the fact that this relationship is horny because I can very much enjoy a horny fictional relationship sometimes, but the horny relationships that I usually enjoy are like, warm and pleasant from the eroticism of it all, Feysand is just kinda gross and sticky to me

Feyre's negative self-talk in regards to her feelings for Rhysand and Tamlin feels so forced, like cmon man, you keep talking about how much Tamlin sucks ass and how much better Rhys is for you how are you still experiencing any kind of inner conflict about this

Also, Feyre talking about how she was constantly thinking about Rhysand even before she left the spring court is just, a lie. does SJM not expect her readers to remember anything

Now theyre spooning and Feyre is stroking his wings and Rhysand is humping her and its like, this isnt sexy to me this is just kinda weird

bro how come Ive never seen anyone talk about Rhysand being like "I love your boobs so much, oh, you dont even know how much I love them" thats so funny

The rest of this chapter was just Rhysand fingering Feyre and honestly, it wasnt too bad, with the extreme proximity and him warming her up I can see why some people would find it hot but idk. its still a sjm smut scene and its german which makes it pretty unpleasant for me

[theblackfemininesociety]

A guy I’m just getting to know from a dating app but haven’t met yet we’ve just been texting said to me “let me take care of you” and I was like what do you mean? And he goes “just in general, you seem like you need someone to take care of you” idk how he would get that just from texting me…? The only thing maybe is I told him I don’t smoke weed because it makes me paranoid but?? Idk if what he said is a good or bad thing

Hey bestie!

First, we want to express our gratitude that you trusted us enough to share your thoughts and seek our advice. 💗 We truly love engaging with all of our sisters and this could not only help you but any others who seek this same advice and guidance.

Let’s talk about dating apps:

#1 Keep it real: use up-to-date pics, and don’t stretch the truth about whatever you decide to disclose on your profile. Set your limits on what you’re cool with—whether it’s chatting, dating, or something more. No pressure! Just make sure you profile sets the tone for what you are seeking !

#2 SAFETY FIRST: Don’t share your address, number, or workplace. If you want to meet up, pick a public place at a reasonable hour and take your own form of transportation (your car, uber) always! Be sure to ALWAYS share your location with someone you trust and make sure to check in.

#3 Ghosting is OKAY! : You don’t owe anyone a reply. If you're not feeling it, just unmatch and keep it moving!

#4 Listen to your intuition: If a convo feels off or gives you bad vibes, trust yourself. Your intuition knows what's up.

#5 Report Weirdos: If someone’s being sketchy or disrespectful, report them. You deserve to feel safe!

#6 Take Your Time: No rush to meet up IRL. Get to know them through texts or video chats first— we recommend you do this for about 2 months before you even consider meeting up. Again, safety and comfort over everything!

#7 Beware of the Games and Word-play: it’s a fact that a man is willing to say, act and do whatever he has to in order to enter the paradise we hold in between our legs. Be careful not to get easily persuaded and woo’d by a man’s empty promises and small gestures. While on dating apps you have to have a high sense of self-awareness, confidence and well, GAME (or rizz whatever you call it these days) dont be naïve and take what they say with a grain of salt.

——————

Our direct to you advice:

You haven’t told or shown this man any reason why you need to be taken care of. This may be the word play and game he gives to woman (reread #7 above) don’t read to much into it. We can tell you whether or not to accept his advances but please move with caution and stay safe!

Hope this helps ! 💋

[rab1darachn1d]

INTRO💥💥💥

Name: Ozzie/Sunday/Kafka + anyname from my url

Pronouns: he/they pref but idrc

Agender, bi, aroace spectrum

TVhead robotkin and spiderkin💥💥💥

Special interests are spiders(specifically tarantulas) and psychology

Dyslexic!!! Sorry for spelling mistakes/reading stuff wrong and please don't use super small or hard to read fonts when talking directly to me!!! Typing quirks are fine but if you can control them or add translations thats greatly appreciated

MINOR!!! idc if ur over 18 and interact or if we are mutuals but dont be weird please I will just block you

WE STAND WITH PALESTINE🇵🇸🍉

(@remindertoclick <- DO YOUR DAILY CLICKS OR I'LL THROW ROCKS AT YOU)

@mechcanicalmadness MY BESTESTFRIEND AND COOLEST DAD EVER ALSO GUY WHO MADE THE FIRST 2 ARTS BELOW 💥💥💥

@absolutelymadoka IS MY MAGICAL GIRL DAUGHTER !!!! THEY ARE THE SILLIEST AND NICEST EVER BE NICE TO THEM

I help with the @bungostraycreatures gimick blog acc go look at it its run by my bestest friend :3

@sundazeing is my icons/npt/moodboard blog!!! Requests are always open, read the rules and dni if u you have anything you want me to make B)

@queenofthecafe is my Lucy bsd rp blog >::)

(user box made by @/absolutelymadoka)

♤♡◇♧♤♡◇♧♤♡◇♧♤♡◇♧♤♡◇♧

WARNINGS /BFYI / FOR MOOTS*****

-I type in caps a lot

-Im not very good a tw tagging things tho I try my best !!! If you get triggered by anything I post/rb lmk and I'll tag it

-I swear a lot !!! Like way too much !!! I do not give a damn abt slurs AS LONG AS YOU CAN CLAIM THEM !!! IF I FIND OUT YOU USE SLURS YOU CANNOT CLAIM I'LL CALL YOU A BIGOT AND BLOCK YOU

-Anything suggestive is a joke and do NOT make jokes like that to me if we are not friends I will call you a freak

-I like to give people nicknames/ shorten people's names(mainly if ppl have a long ass name/url and it fucks me up tryna type it) but if that bothers you lmk

-Not good with tone so I use tone tags, you aren't forced to use them but if you'd like it'd make communication easier

-I have a bad habit of randomly disappearing for a few days for whatever reason, so if I accidentally ignore you sorry, please don't take it personal

-If you are a shithead to my mutuals I will be a shithead towards you <3 also blocked <3

-DMS ARE OPEN !!! FEEL FREE TO TALKS/RANT/VENT ABT WHATEVER !!! however I'm not very good at socializing and if I seem rude, standoffish or awkward I'm so sorry💀💀💀

♤♡◇♧♤♡◇♧♤♡◇♧♤♡◇♧♤♡◇♧

SYSTEM THINGS*****

-i am the host and this is my acc though they post shit on here too

-their posts will be tagged with ***postinghours(sakepostinghours for an example)

-I love answering questions!!! However I am not a medical professional and I cannot diagnose you or speak for other systems!!!

-^ Don't ask abt triggers, alter roles or trauma I will ignore you or call you a dumbass nosey weirdo

-fictive heavy(dont be weird about them or theyll block you and idk probably call you a freak)

-^ don't bring up source trauma unless they make jokes about it first OR if they are friends with you

-^ First to treat any of them like a fictional character gets their limbs ripped off<33

-if ur another fictive theyd like to say hi but dont be weird and understand they might see you differently then how you remember them

-if you say "Can *** stop fronting/can you switch with ***" I will throw rocks at you and you will get blocked

-^ if u wanna talk to someone or have a message for someone we are happy to tell them

♤♡◇♧♤♡◇♧♤♡◇♧♤♡◇♧♤♡◇♧

DNI*****

-basic dni(homo+transphobe, racists)

-"radqueers" and "transids"

-Proshippers and zoophiles(YALL R FUCKING NASTY GO AWAY)

-"radfems" and "terfs" (fuck you go away)

-Pro Israel mfs

-Endos/Tulpas/Willows/Mixed Origin, we will not participate in any syscourse but yall make me uncomfy

-^supporters of those

-"*** personality disorders are absuive" go away die go shoo get OUT(ily people with personality disorders)

-people who are against others with "scary" disorders fuck off you aren't helpful

-pro ed/"thinspo" mfs... wth are yall doing

-NSFW ONLY blogs (nothing against yall but im a minor)

-people who are shitty towards therians, otherkins, xenogenders, etc

♤♡◇♧♤♡◇♧♤♡◇♧♤♡◇♧♤♡◇♧

FANDOMS + FAVORITE CHARACTERS*****

Bungo Stray Dogs(Dazai, Verlaine, Fyodor and Lucy) is my main fandom and hyperfixation BUT here are some other fandoms of mine I still like

☆ = I still actively look at/take part in

♡ = not as active but I will scream abt if given the opportunity

♤ = I like it but I'm not updated with the fandom

favorite characters r not in order

-Jujusitu Kaisen(Gojo , Megumi , Itadori and Sukuna)☆

-Deadplate(Vincent) ♡

-Genshin Impact(Baizhu, Xiao, Diluc, Childe and Dottore) ☆♡

-Honkai: StarRail(Boothill, Sunday, Clara, Sparkle, Natasha and Aventurine) ☆

-Hollow Knight(Grimm and Quirrel) ♡

-Pokemon(EMMET AND INGO💥💥💥)(Also Galvantula, Reshiram, Gallipede and Eternatus) ♡

-Madness Combat(Deimos and 2BDAMNED) ♤

-Guilty Gear(Robo-Ky, Zato, Chipp, Ky and Happy Chaos) ♤

-Wuthering Waves(Scar and Lingyang) ♤

-Cookie Run(Espresso Cookie, Red Velvet Cookie and Rougefort Cookie) ♡

-RWBY(Qrow, Phyrra, Blake and Emmerald) ♡

-Project Sekai(Rui and Shizuku)♤

-Castle Crashers(Blacksmith)♤

-No Straight Roads(Neon J)♤

-The Property of Hate(RGB)♡♤

-Stardew Valley(Sebastian, Sam and Hailey)♤

-Omori(Captain Space Boyfriend, Hero and Kel)♡♤

-Howl's Moving Castle(Howl, Calcifer and Markl)♡

-Ponyo(Fujimoto)♡♤

-Punishment Gray Raven(Wanshi)♤

-Danganrompa(Kokichi , Keebo , Gonta , Nagito , Miu and Celestia)♤

theres others but those r irrelevant we dont talk abt the dark ages

♤♡◇♧♤♡◇♧♤♡◇♧♤♡◇♧♤♡◇♧

[conways]

Talk more about Shams((/nf obvi duejsjekJ)!!! Why's he your favourite? Do you have any hcs of him? Just share whatever I like cotds so much and there's very little stuff for this guy in particular!! :D

You have made a grave mistake, random asker... I will now be Going Off About My Son Boy

glossary: EvJ stands for Every Journey, my partner and i's nextgen/postcanon au

Shamus is... oh my god. Okay first of all, i should preface that I've always loved 'bad' characters. My other #1 blorbo is Arlo from pkmnGO, if that tells you anything. I like Chloe MLB, I like Sharpay Evans, I like Brooke lps popular. Idk what it does to my brain psychologically I just think theyre oh so neat.

With Shamus (ik its a typo but i Love 'shams' btwz stealing that!) at first it was largely his design. I mean look at him! His eyes are so unique, the small irises, the white pupils, even the overall shape of them is one not really seen anywhere else? Not many other pokeani characters look like him. It's something I like about best wishes in general, I think I like Cilan for the same reason.

Another point to my initial love for him is the fact that he isn't even on the COTD list on bulbapedia. Because he technically does show up earlier, in one of tepig's flashbacks. As someone that ALSO loves pokemon COTDs and characters no one else remembers (another one of my favorite characters is EDMUND. the guy that showed up for two seconds and wasnt even on the end card?! YEAH.), you can imagine my surprise when he showed up out of left field!! Like okay weirdo where have you been hiding!

I also love tepig in general, its probably my favorite starter overall (not counting piplup. my love for piplup surpasses 'favorite' status) - I know it seems counterintuitive to love tepig and then also become obsessed with Shamus, but... Idk! Watching Shamus' episode means I get to see more tepig!

But honestly the majority of the reason he's attached to my brain like a parasite is my own personal headcanons. In the same way people headcanon Reggie and Paul to be Brandon's sons... I also hc Shamus to be! In EvJ specifically, hes Reggie and Paul's half brother from Brandon's "i miss my wife i need to have relations with a woman that looks vaguely like her" infidelity episode. I think Brandon was only with Saoirse (the oc we nade up to be Shamus' mom. the autism runs deep.) a couple times, buuut it was enough to make Shamus!

Shamus is Brandon's bastard kid that he doesn't talk to that much and when he does it's because Shamus is in trouble for something. He didn't get to bond with Brandon much at all and as he grows up a lot of his "I need the best pokemon ever, i cant have failures" comes from the exact same place that it does for Paul - Trying to prove themselves to Brandon. The main difference between them is that Shamus is also... Highly manipulative. Love him for it! He developed it pretty early on when trying to get out of trouble, turning on the waterworks so his mom wouldn't call his dad on him.

Listen, in my hc hes only 12 at the time we see him in Best Wishes(and Ash is 15). I dont believe hes ever going to get a grand redemption arc, but I do think he'll grow up to be just Some Guy that his dad can't bring himself to be proud of. I just can't realistically see him becoming that ultimate 'good person' archetype like Ash, or even having a turnaround the same way Paul does. He's just some guy.

Oh also he's gay. Obviously. And Obviously he has issues relating to the fact that hes gay. Also his wholeass soulmate is Sawyer xy but he never even meets him so it doesnt matter.

His middle name is Cian. Shamus Cian Renwick. His mom is very Irish if you can't tell. I'll find an image of her later

[daytaker]

Hiya! I would like to request a match up with one of the Obey Me brothers? Romantically please!

I am a girl, She/Her. I have mid back strawberry blonde hair, and sea green colored eyes. I am 5'9/175cm.

I am the second oldest out of four kids. I am very kind and try to be as gentle as I can with people. I am very shy when we first meet, but once you get to know me I'm a weirdo and a goofball.

I'm not good at expressing how I feel, it makes me feel weak and most people just judge me for how I feel. I don't like giving people my opinions on things unless they ask for it, I usually try and avoid conflict as best as I can.

I love reading, fantasy and murder mysterys are my go to genres of books. I love anything involves writing, but I'm not very good at English, lmao.

I love watching Murder documentaries or Forensic files/Cold case files and Anime. I also love sports, like basketball, track, soccer, volleyball etc. I also loveee winter sports, like skiing and ice-skating. Though I'm not very good at ice skating. I also enjoy hunting and hiking and farm equipment. I adore corgis and German shepherds.

I love my family with all my heart and will do anything for them. I am not a very violent person or one to get angry quickly, I dont enjoy hurting people. But my anger is very bad and I usually walk away from the situation before it gets out of hand.

I am so sorry it's so long, I hope it's not too much! Please take your time! Thank you so much!

Absolutely! Reading through this, I think I would comfortably match you up with our adorable sixth-born and Avatar of Gluttony, Beelzebub.

He's calm, quiet, and kind-hearted. You say you're shy and have trouble opening up to people at first. Well, Beel seems like the sort of person you could sit with and not have to say much of anything, but it wouldn't feel awkward.

As someone who can come across as stoic and intimidating at first glance, Beel isn't likely to be judgmental if you put up a bit of a front. If anything, he might assume you're hungry. That's the sort of face he makes when he's thinking about when his next meal is.

It sounds like talking isn't your favorite way to communicate your feelings, and it isn't Beel's either. Physical affection and acts of service are more in line with how he expresses himself. (He tries to give gifts too, but usually the gift is food, and he tends to eat that before he can give it to anyone.) Beel seems like the sort of person who would be content just to spend time together, regardless of what you're doing.

He's also not someone who is, for lack of a better term, very needy. Asmo and Levi need constant praise and reassurances, respectively, and Mammon and Belphie are jealous and want your attention all the time. The four of them, and to a lesser extent, Satan, all require enormous stores of attention, and they tend to be selfish about it. They want to be taken care of, whether they'd admit it or not. Nothing in your profile makes me think that you'd be thrilled to push aside your own interests, family, or feelings just to accommodate a guy who, let's face it, is unlikely to give you the same level of consideration.

The main reason I don't consider Lucifer a good match is that you seem like someone who is not entirely sure of yourself; maybe dealing with a few insecurities. Lucifer is a painfully honest and sometimes prickly person who will tell you exactly how it is, and that sort of uncensored, straightforward nature would probably intimidate and upset you.

I felt Satan wasn't as good a match as Beel for a few reasons. First, although Beel doesn't always express how he feels in words, he at least tends to understand what he's feeling and why. Satan, on the other hand, overanalyzes what happens inside his head to the extent that he loses track of what his core emotions even are. Second is the temper. Obviously, Satan has one too. He'll become testy and annoyed seemingly at random. But one of the worst things in any relationship is for two people who are extremely angry to try and de-escalate each other. It's a set-up for potentially toxic dynamics. I think you and Satan could be great friends though, especially with your mutual interest in murder mysteries and crime.

When you're angry or upset, Beel is kind of the perfect choice if you want someone who won't take things personally or inadvertently escalate things more by trying to talk you down. He'd probably sit and listen quietly as you expressed yourself, wait for you to calm down, then buy you ice cream.

Oh, and I never even mentioned that, as an athlete, he'd love to spend time playing or enthusing over sports with you. Bonus perk!

So there you have it. I hope this was fun to read!

[causenessus]

good morning, evening or afternoon my loveliness!! how’s your day been? have you eaten? MAKE SURE U EAT !! today i just had pasta in the morning like i literally JUST got off work and i was like okay okay time to reply to my dearest ness(ill probably have pasta again)(like ill be eating in between writing this LOL) but OH MY GOD MY JAW DROPPED WHEN I SAW HOW LONG MY LAST ASK WAS LIKE IM LITERALLY I YAPPED SO MUCH IM SO SO SORRY LOL i was like i genuinely went😧(AND THATS EVEN IN THE SMALL FONT!!)(deepest apologies to anyone who had to scroll pass that)

OFC I NOTICE THINGS ABOUT U !! i think it’s like a like my mind mentally notes the things you say and i kind of catch onto your mannerisms?(IS THAT WEIRD??)(like in a GOOD WAY ofc) and i just kind of recognize the way you write !! like i feel like if the roles were reversed i would 100% be able to tell who you are by the way you write(IN A GOOD WAY ALWAYS IN A GOOD WAY)(all love for my one and only always always) also yeah! i don’t live in the states but i think our timezones are the same or like one hour apart so I TOTALLY GET IT the assumption is valid! DONT APOLOGIZE AT ALL i would’ve done the exact same thing or honestly if someone said “i have the same time zone as you” i would probably be like omg stop they’re my neighbour LMAOO

THE RESTAURANT CHAOS SEEMS SO REAL like i’ve never worked in a restaurant so i can’t really imagine the environment but hearing the experience from you and my friend who works at olive garden i’m like… maybe i SHOULDNT complain about my retail job LOL LIKE IT SEEMS SO CHAOTIC? but that’s so true!!(sorry you probably have no idea what i’m talking about) LIKE I HAVE BETTER THINGS TO DO THAN MAKING SURE THE CUSTOMER IS OKAY like ill be running around the store holding like pounds of clothing and ill have a customer come up to me like “erm do you have this in the back?” LIKE MA’AM RESPECTFULLY NO IM SORRY CAN YOU TALK TO ME WHEN IM NOT BUSY but i CANT say that so i just end up saying “im sorry whatever we have out here is all we have :)” then i scurry away like IM JUST A GIRL?? also also idk if this is a common thing too but lets talk about some of the WEIRDOS at work right so i know im 18 now but when i was a minor i had some weird interactions with MEN(let me just give you a little description of mango anon right so im like 5’1 and i have a baby face like “going into places saying i’m 13 for it to be cheaper” type of baby face)(but this is when i was like 16 i don’t think that trick will work anymore LOL) but tell me why i had GROWN MEN come up to me USING MY NAME(curse name tags) be weird? like i had this one guy literally tell ME(I WAS 16 OR 17 DURING THIS) “you’d make a good housewife!” when i was folding his clothes and at first i was like yo okay that’s a bit weird but then he was like “how old do you have to be to work here?” THEN i was like okay okay that’s personal information! so i was just like “oh haha idk” like awkwardly and he’s like “so do you have to be over 18 to work here” and i was like SIR okay your total is $18.67 how would you like to pay today! anyways it was weird, my other coworkers also had a lot of weird interactions so like one of my coworkers who was older than me just told me to not wear my name tag like our managers won’t make a huge deal out of it and whatever so yeah that was that, lesson of the day! don’t be a weirdo!

also i swear run and props is like favourite for tech theatre WHICH I GET like when i was in high school a lot of people liked being in run and prop because idk they like the big role or something?? i think also costumes and makeup was also pretty popular but like i remember one time the director flipped a switch on us because like the makeup crew was actually people from our cosmetology class and they would like fool around A LOT like they did the makeup but they would be like yapping a lot so one day my director was like IF UR NOT GONNA DO UR JOB THEN WE’LL HAVE SOMEONE ELSE DO IT !! and then everyone was like oohh okayyy(we got yelled at A LOT tbh for little silly things)(tech theatre ptsd ill tell u) and omg the kid who wanted your light job like CALM DOWN(i am now too spiteful against them)(i will hire the etsy witch to curse them for you) like i swear i’ve met some of the worse people in tech and its CRAZY like the ratio of normal people to absolute arrogant weirdos is CRAZY(ill be generous and say 1:3)and literally yeah like i didn’t want to continue with tech because of the toxic environment like i literally CAN NOT, i know people in uni would be a little more mature and like take tech more seriously but i STILL CANT LIKE there will always be that one person that will ruin it for everyone so i had to blow out the torch and unfortunately say goodbye to theatre </3 UNLESS ONE DAY IN THE FUTURE I HEAR YOU DROP THAT YOURE GONNA BE WORKING AT A THEATRE i’ll literally buy my plane tickets and sign up to be sounds and go be with you like YOU WILL MAKE IT BEARABLE and we’ll literally be the ultimate lights and sound duo like no one can compete idc if the other person has more years of experience than me I WILL STILL SQUEEZE MYSELF IN !! ALSO OMG IN MY THEATRE DAYS (in my good old days) literally most of the people who did take it serious were WOMEN like we are tech mothers!! we are women in STEM!! the majority of people who got on my nerves were men(i apologize to any men reading this)(but unfortunately it is the truth for me </3) ALSO PLS ITS SO FUNNY HOW YOU HAVE AN ICK FOR EVERY GUY YOU USED TO LIKE (i 100% get it) i love hearing about it too LOL ALSO THAT DYNAMIC OF STAGE MANAGER READER AND LIGHTS HEAD SUNA?? i can literally imagine suna being so silly and teasing while the reader has to take it seriously since yk.. it’s her job LIKE ITS LITERALLY LIKE MANAGER READER X SUNA BUT THEATRE-IZED (if that makes sense) also PLS DONT WORRY!! u have so much stuff lined up like take your time and don’t worry! at the end of the day everyone should be thankful that you’re even here sharing your amazing talents with everyone <33

also oh. my. god. if i heard someone say “ITS UP TO ME TO SAVE THE SHOW” i think i would die on spot like id stare at them in genuine disbelief and be like.. alright… alright everyone pack it up our HERO is here to save us like ?? omg and i literally had the same experience right so we were doing the shirley holmes play right and our lead just would not SPEAK UP LIKE ill admit. their acting was pretty good and stage presence was good but WHY CANT YOU SPEAK UP??? like literally so many times i had to like try to read her lips because i literally could not like it was so frustrating, and i couldn’t even be mad at her because she was good EXCEPT FOR THE FACT THAT SHE COULDNT PROJECT and yk why yk why she was like “im saving my voice for show night” like… excuse me… EXCUSE ME?? (anyways i have a lot of old rage from tech)(this is why i quit!!!)

ONLINE GROUPS ARE SO FUNNY LIKE I SWEAR ITS THE SAME LINEUP LIKE the oldest which formed the group, we have the middle area then the random minors who are like 10 years younger than everyone LOL but socks if you read this im so sorry </333 idk if i liked you back i was like 15 at the time but i promise you i wasn’t ghosting you </333 i was just trying to see what you said I DIDN’T MEAN IT !! ALSO DONT WORRY ABT UR TANGENTS BCUZ ME TOO i literally ramble and yap so much sometimes im ASTONISHED LMAOO

ALSO IM GONNA GO BACK MEMORY LANE FOR A SECOND BCUZ THAT ANON THAT ASKED YOU ABT THE ORIGINAL LOVENOTES STORY AWAKENED SOMETHING IN ME so i remember the first ever ask i sent in was when you were first making love notes like the intros were out already and everything and you were talking about how like having suga in the storyline was kinda messing you up a little bit and you were saying how you were second guessing yourself on it so i sent in a little anon ask(I CANT REMEMBER PROPERLY BUT) saying basically “hey !! you can still change the storyline because it is ur story !! just write what you’re comfortable with” SOMETHING LIKE THAT and u were literally so sweet and then that’s when you changed it and i was like omg ness is literally so sweet what then a few days later i sent in just a small like “hi ness how are you ! did you eat yet?” (i think those were my exact words i actually don’t remember) AND YOU WERE LITERALLY SO SWEET?? LIKE I ALMOST CRIED BCUZ LIKE you were like “tell me what you ate and how you are!” and i thought it was literally the sweetest thing ever so i made it my life obligation and role to make sure you were always taking care of yourself from now on like even if im busy i will always send a little “make sure to eat!! take care of urself!!” (i’ll literally be ur guardian angel from now on) i also think you put it in ur favourites and i literally MY HEART MELTED I WAS LIKE HHHHHH BUT YEAH anyways that’s the origins of mango anon LOL but anyways omg i yapped so much this took an hour to write (IM NOT COMPLAINING I JUST THINK ITS FUNNY)(but to be fair i ate between writing these) it’s so funny bcuz an hour passes by but i don’t feel like it’s an hour like i swear i black out and i just type type type and im like omg im done!!

ANYWAYS i hope you’ve had a good day today and that you’ve eaten well!! U DESERVE NOTHING BUT THE BEST make sure to take care of urself I APPRECIATE AND LOVE YOU VERY MUCH SO MAKE SURE YOU TAKE CARE OF URSELF!! always and always <333 xoxoxo

MY LOVELY MANGO ANON I MISSED U SM <3 HELLO I LOVE YOU SO MUCH MANGO ANON HELLO CAN U TELL I MISSED U (like it wasn't my own fault i haven't been able to open my inbox until just not BUT NONETHELESS I MISSED YOU </33 LIKE I WAS WORKING AND I WAS LIKE "i haven't seen anything from mango anon yet </3" BUT THAT'S NO PRESSURE ON YOU!! IK YOU WERE BUSY AND ALSO HAD THAT 9-5:30 SO I TOTALLY GET IT OKAY NOW I'M GOING TO GO BACK AND READ YOUR ASK!!!)

I HOPE YOU ATE AS WELL!! dw i've once again been eating my depression meal staple BUT TODAY my toast had almond butter on it bc i'm just really obsessed with almond butter <3 SO I THINK I ATE GOOD TODAY!! AND I HOPE YOUR PASTA WAS GOOD I LOVE YOU SO MUCH MANGO ANON AAA I MISSED U 😭 AND IT HASN'T EVEN BEEN A DAY OR ANYTHING SINCE WE TALKED BUT I JUST MISSED U PLEASE DON'T WORRY ABOUT LONG ASKS AT ALL!!! PEOPLE CAN DEAL WITH IT AND SCROLL PAST YOU ARE MY ONLY PRIORITY <3

and i totally get what you mean!! i catch onto a lot of people's mannerisms/habits as well and always remember like super small details they'll tell me about but i feel like i've never met anyone else who does that 😭 YOU AND ME BEING TWIN FLAMES AGAIN MANGO ANON I'M IN LOVE WITH U <3

AND PLEASE AS SOMEONE WHOSE WORKING IN THE RETAIL AND FOOD INDUSTRIES RN </3 THEY BOTH HAVE THEIR OWN PROBLEMS like yes men are weird 😔 i can't tell if i appreciate the fact that like 50% of the sushi chefs i work with have/have had a crush on me and the way they all stare 😭 or find it uncomfortable BC LIKE on one hand they are very nice!! and it hypes me up!! like most of them are just "aw you look like ur mother <3" since i work at that job with my mom (unfortunately) but then the one's who like me are like "do u want me to cut watermelon for u 👴" LIKE NO BRO GET AWAY 😭😭 AND LIKE FRFR THE TERRIFYING INTERACTIONS I HAVE WITH OLD MEN ESPECIALLY WHEN I WAS A MINOR???? THAT WAS NOT GOOD AND THE WAY MY JAW DROPPED READING YOU TALK ABOUT THE MAN THAT SAID YOU'D MAKE A GOOD HOUSEWIFE LIKE??????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????? LITERALLY WHO SAYS THAT TO ANYONE AND EVEN MORE TO LIKE SOMEONE YOUNG WORKING A RETAIL JOB AND LIKE 50K MORE REASONS WHAT IN THE WORLD 🤮🤮🤮 it is literally horrible that like you have to not wear a nametag just to prevent those interactions 😭 but at the same time nametags suck!! and i never wear mine bc i just don't care LMAO

TECH THEATRE PTSD </33 IMO I ALWAYS THOUGHT RUN/PROPS WAS SUPER POPULAR JUST BC IT SEEMED LIKE THE EASIEST THING TO START IN IF THAT MAKES SENSE?? LIKE LIGHTS/SOUND ALWAYS SOUNDS INTIMIDATING AND FOR MY SCHOOL (going to stop talking in caps bc idk why i'm screaming all the time like for what?? calm down ness it's ok) we had like a SINGLE person on makeup (and so our tech director would do specials) and like just a few people for costumes. sound was usually like two people, lights was a bit bigger (unfortunately)(i HATE working with people)(except if i worked with u <3 i would be jumping for joy and my life would be sunshine and rainbows <3), but run and props was always the biggest. like i started there bc it seemed the least scary!! so i think that's a lot of other people's thought process too 😭 WE ALSO GOT YELLED AT A LOT FOR STUPID THINGS or i mean idk if it was stupid we kind of deserved it bc like theatre kids yap SO much but like my director during tech week would always be like "we must preach patience and kindness guys!! everyone is stressed during this week so please be patient with each other ❤" and then HE'D be the one to blow up like my freshman year when i got thrown into ASMing for our spring play backstage like someone on my side was talking and my director like LOST IT and came into the wing from behind me and started yelling at us and literally gave me a panic attack 😭😭 like i had to leave bc i could NOT breathe and luckily someone found me bc i was fully about to pass out LMAOAOAO AND THEN my junior year is when i started lights and so u probably get this but like yk lights and sound is always in a booth (which i think are always behind all the seats, right? or at least that's how it's been for every theatre i've gone to) and so our director lost it again bc someone was talking i think but since i'm in the booth we watch this middle aged bald man get up and go behind stage and we're all like "oh no."

like that rehearsal full on stopped everyone started hiding LMAO OUR PEOPLE WITH HEADSETS BACKSTAGE PUT DOWN THEIR MICS SO WE COULD HEAR WHO HE WAS YELLING AT but everyone in the booth went on lockdown like our spot op ran up to hide in the booth and then we locked the door and i hid on a speaker bc i was NOT getting yelled at again but then we resumed rehearsal and our director never came up so my stage manager next to me and me were like "oh thank goodness he didn't come yell at us" AND THEN HE POPPOED UP RIGHT OUTSIDE OUR BOOTH WINDOW AND I SCREAMED 😭😭😭 AND HE CAME IN AND THEN JUST WENT

"okay how's it going? what do you need from me?" i need you to LEAVE SIR MY SOUL JUST LEFT MY BODY

ANYWAY THE 1:3 RATIO IS SO GENEROUS LMAOOO there is so much toxicity there 😭😭 so i totally get it. when the theatre world comes crashing down u and i will make our comeback mango anon!! we'll go in as a fire lights and sound duo together and beat all the professionals despite only having high school experience LMAO

I ALSO HAVE A LOT OF OLD RAGE FROM TECH THAT'S WHY I'M STILL MAD AT THE KID WHO TRIED TO STEAL MY JOB 😭 i will never get over the "it's up to me" quote like literally i remember that and the RAGE THAT FILLS MY VEINS OMG anyway 🌸 "i'm saving my voice for show night" HELLO??? I BET SHE DIDN'T EVEN SPEAK UP DURING THE ACTUAL PERFORMANCES OR NOT THAT MUCH LOUDER AND LITERALLY LIKE IF UR VOICE IS THAT SENSITIVE GET OUT OR FIX IT OR SOMETHING IDK BUT LIKE U CANNOT DO THAT (i am with u completely on the still having old pent up rage as u can see)

ONLINE GROUPS ARE DEF FUNNY AND THE RANDOM MINORS BEING 10 YEARS YOUNGER THAN EVERYONE ELSE IS SO REAL 😭😭 pov 2020 when i was on a shifting discord server.....and there were people of all ages....what a time that was....i don't want to think about it anymore....

AND AAAA MEMORY LANE <333 I REMEMBER EACH AND EVERY SINGLE ONE OF THOSE ASKS BECAUSE I THOUGHT YOU WERE THE SWEETEST!!! like i could not tell you how much it meant to me to have someone checking in to make sure i ate bc that's just something super like ??????? sweet to me <3 like i felt so loved reading your asks AND I STILL DO!!!! TIME FLIES WHEN UR HAVING FUN!! (barf. never saying that agian. way too cliche. BUT YKWIM) I LOVE LOVE LOVE THESE LONG YAP SESSIONS!! THEY ARE MY FAVORITE THING EVER <3 I'M SO GLAD YOU DECIDED TO START SENDING IN MORE ASKS BC YOU HAVE LITERALLY CHANGED MY LIFE AND MADE ME SO HAPPY MANGO ANON I'M SO THANKFUL FOR YOU AND I LOVE YOU SO MUCH IF YOU COULDN'T TELL <333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333 (that's a lot of threes but i just spam threes as a way to get out pent up love/energy. it's like my way of stimming through the screen LMAO)

I HOPE YOU HAD A GOOD DAY!!! TODAY HAS BEEN AMAZING NOW THAT I'VE HEARD FROM YOU MANGO ANON MY LOVE MY FAVORITE PERSON EVER MY SOULMATE LOVE OF MY LIFE <33333333 you deserve the entire universe and more!!! you deserve a sky full of shooting stars and thousands of wishes and for all of them to come true <3 i love you sm mango anon!! please make sure to take care of yourself too or i'll simply have to book a ticket and fly to you and take care of you bc i'll gladly be ur housewife <3 🥰 IT WAS SO GOOD TO HEAR FROM U!! AND HAVE A LOVELY DAY TOMORROW AS WELL <3333

[xamaxenta]

I’m brain dead and still sending you camboy ace thoughts so this is a cont to the ask I sent you like 3 hours ago because I need the horny out of my head.

Tbh I see Marco as kinda an incidental endurance fucker and sabo as a sprinter if that makes sense? Like Marco can go for aces and doesn’t seem to know what a refractory period is so is the overstimulation king but just isn’t into being rough? Idk if I see that as a personal choice or a hip muscle thing but especially with his special session with camboy ace he is basically a human fucking machine because he does not stop despite coming like 5 times and does seem to go soft. The chat is questioning if he used something but sabo pipes up that they were all hanging before this and he did not take anything apparently this guys just a weirdo. Marco just replies “we both paid an ungodly amount to fuck this pretty little thing we’re both weirdos. As for you substance accusations I’m just ‘like that’ when I have proper motivation.”

Meanwhile sabo is a sprinter in that he rails ace hard and fast and nearly blows his brains out with it ace is loosing his mind but is done in like 30 min and needs some time to regroup before jumping back in. Course he’s a sadist so he uses that time to play with ace using his mouth and hands but yeah. Can outclass Marco but doesn’t have his stamina. That being said he doesn’t stop talking and that’s driving ace as mad as everything else because ‘dear god I’m the pornstar here how are you making me blush like a virgin’

Marco staying inhuman and mythical no matter the au is always top tier 👏🏽 let him give Ace the insane endurance fuckening dickdown he deserves and vice versa because even tho Ace’s brain checked out half an hour ago his body is still limber and wanting

I love the substance accusations being met with Marco’s steadfast confidence like hm, think what you like but i have a pretty damn good reason to keep it up dont you think, Sabo snarks at him like didnt know old guys like you had in you tbh

Marco eyeing Sabo disdainfully like constantly racing to the finish line wont be as beneficial as you think, you’re a hedonist Sabo, you care about your immediate pleasures rather than the long game

Sabo: r u saying im selfish? (Absolutely is)

Marco: im just saying it how it is

And meanwhile Ace is already seven layers deep into emotional overstimulation if he isnt careful he’s gonna be stuck with a perpetual ahegao face lmao

[comphetkoncass]

maybe i WILL write that dick+tim, kon+kory fic. for my me.

p1: dick + tim about the similarities b/w kon + kory

"heyyy so i think. kon needs seen for some clone issues. by scientists. but he cant get past the doors which is WEIRD since he used to LIVE in cadmus itself, even after being freed from the tube. kory has some trauma about being experimented on too, doesn't she? with her starbolts? how do you get her seen?"

"okay. first of all, i recommend the fortress of solitude for anything to do with kon. even STAR labs recently fucked him over, i would seriously not put him anywhere run by human scientists."

"...ah." (star labs being what kicked kon out into gemworld for like 2 yrs and then sent him right back in rebirth)

"second: kory does best when she has a clear exit strategy and the freedom to leave at any time. she'll never do anything more intense than local anesthesia and i'll bet kon's the same."

other notes about this scene: they're for sure on a mission and mowing people down while they talk. <33

p2: kon + kory about the similarities b/w dick + tim

"kory. how do you do it. how do you date a bat without losing your fucking mind. we're literally not human, how do we have a better scope of human limitations than they do. what the fuck is wrong with them."

"what did tim do this time?"

"he almost died then sat back up and kept giving orders instead of letting me take him back to HQ to get patched up. he literally almost bled out. what the fuck. what the FUCK."

"ah... yes, that is a very 'bat' thing to be concerned with. the real issue will be if he does not speak with you about it afterwards. ...how are your persuasion skills?"

p3: dick + kon meeting for kon to ask about the human perspective of science-fiction-soap-opera-trauma.

aka what level of over-sharing is appropriate in a relationship between a science-fiction-trauma-magnet and a like, semi-normal dude. like, how to be a good partner when you're kind of messed up and there's some star trek level weirdness in your backstory and it's all traumatic. how to not freak out your partner when your life has just been really, really weird.

"uhh... hey. hi. sorry to bug you, i just wanted to ask... and out of full respect for you and kory's relationship, and if you could keep this between just the two of us, and dont tell tim? it's just. i uh. my life has been a science fiction trainwreck. and -- this is no disrespect to kory, but hers has kind of been a lot like mine? just- lab stuff, and belonging to evil people and being related to them too, and having really dangerous powers that we didn't ask for, and-"

"hey. breathe, kid."

"i was just wondering. what it's like from the other side. you and kory seem like you have such a good relationship even despite all the science fiction crap. help a guy out? i'm just so afraid of freaking tim out but i can tell he's freaked out by me not trying to lean on him more, but. give it to me straight, nightwing. as a bat -- as like, a normal dude, does it freak you out to have your partner always involved in some science fiction nonsense? like, should i keep downplaying stuff, or-"

"kon, i'm gonna level with you. bats are not nearly as normal as we seem. at least, not bats with friends. my best friend is a speedster, do you know how often i have to help wally figure out time travel dimension crossing speedforce crap? do you know how much weird, interdimensional gods and monsters nonsense batman helps superman and wonder woman with? i PROMISE you. no matter how fucked up and weird it gets, tim will take it in stride. like- no offense if this is a sore subject but didn't he try to clone you? i love him but he's kind of a science fiction weirdo himself."

p4: tim + kory meeting for tim to ask about partners opening up about more alien stuff.

tim's version of the last chapter -- he's asking kory for advice to how to get kon to open up a little. the things that make kory feel better about sharing even the weirdest and most traumatic science-fiction-soap-opera level weirdness in her life.

"i just have the feeling that kon's holding stuff back because he's afraid i'm gonna freak out on him. i mean, does he know how much weird crap i deal with on a daily basis? the other day he accidentally mentioned the clone plague he had, and got embarrassed like i wasn't literally there, like i didn't remember it after living through watching him get it and recover despite it almost killing him. if he's getting embarrassed over that, how am i gonna get him to open up to me about the weird multiverse shit he's been through lately? please help me, kory, you're my only hope. how does dick get you to talk about space adventures or -- the more... the ones that hurt you more?"

"...let's do this while we're gardening. i think that may help." (intentionally takes tim to a greenhouse with very alien looking creatures) "i find that sometimes it helps to talk about the more... difficult, stranger adventures by changing the scenery. but truthfully, you just have to ask questions and be extremely matter of fact with them. do not mince words, and use the descriptions that he does, unless they're fundamentally offensive, then ask for clarification. if he absolutely does not want to talk of course, don't push, but let him know that you genuinely want to discuss it. that he does not need to be embarrassed, either of the adventure itself or his feelings about it."

"got it. and ... if he does open up?"

"let him speak. if he stalls for a bit, ask questions if anything is unclear, as i know they can be when things are, ah... outside an ordinary human, earthly adventure. but for the most part, let him speak."

its tempting to add a scene abt . like . sa survivor stuff bc both dick and kory would have a lot of advice to give kon. but i think i will keep this relatively lighthearted. that can be a part 2 if im still so tempted

[ghostfishk]

AAAAAAAHHSHAHHAHAAAAAGGGGGGHHH

i’m so frustrated. why can’t i just find someone. why can’t i just fall in love the normal way. i can’t use dating apps. i can’t ask out coworkers. i cant ask out this guy i’ve been crushing on for MONTHS because i don’t know if he likes me and im 99% sure HES STRAIGHT. BUT I ALSO DONT KNOW. HE SAYS WEIRD THINGS AND HE TALKS TO ME A LOT BUT I ALSO TALK A LOT. AAAASHHHHGHSHHS i hate not being able to understand social cues. and im thinking into small conversations that people probably forget about right after they happen. i remember so much about everyone, and every conversation.

a simple wording mistake and i can’t stop thinking about it. i’m reading into everything i can remember. about his facial expression, and his body movements after an INSANE but simple wording mistake

“you following me? weirdo”

“yea im going to pin you. wait no”

“WOAH WHAT”

“i’m going to CORNER YOU down here”

WHICH WASNT A MUCH BETTER WORDING??

and then i grab my other thing, still laughing about it and he’s just gone

and he doesn’t act any different around me

i think he’s more himself near me. and that makes me really happy. he’s atleast more animated and happy seeming around me.

he gave me the title of “easy to rant to” and that made me really happy for so many reasons

yesterday had the “pin” event. along with him coming out of the freezer and asking me if his hands were cold (they were kinda cold. but also really soft) 10/10 cannot stop thinking about it.

i wish i would keep my mouth shut sometimes becjsse what the HELL does “do you want me to help warm your hands up” FUCKKNG MEAN?? like i know what it means but that CLEARLY didn’t land well.

0/100 hate myself for that one

he paid attention to what i did when i was like early started here.

titles gained yesterday: “easy to rant to” and “the cereal guy”

gave me tons of shit for the cereal cup idea not working. when i did it with like captain crunch and cocoa pebbles. aka easy to sink down cereal. not CINNAMON TOAST CRUNCH. also not even my idea, it was emma’s.

today has a lot more interactions. i walk in, he’s at stow. i ask him how he’s doing. “living the dream”. uh oh. lead gets in, and he’s in C,D,baby. cool awesome.

orders have downtime. i ask what i should do and she puts me in baby pulls. cool awesome

i start pulling onto a uboat. he comes over after a while, and just stands on the other side and we just. talk. and it’s really nice. he talks about how he offered to stay til MIDNIGHT if he was put in toys and the lead said NO?? and he ended up staying til 11. i think it’s insane she said no. he’s pretty fast at pulling. and a FOURTH TIL CLOSE?? she’s actually insane for that i do not understand. during this conversation he seems very energetic and happy. throwing a mini “tantrum” over his device not working, and i “fix it” by waving my hands at it.

i go on my first break, and when i get back/have downtime again i see that he’s reorganized what i pulled, in a way that does make sense but it took me a minute to adjust. i see him after a bit and tell him i tried my best to stick to it but the pulls were weird. he says it’s okay, and there really isn’t an organization other than small things in the 3 tier and diapers on the uboat.

i’m in an order and i’m looking for a few things, all that i find in the back other than the weighted pink dino plush. i’m about to wander receiving and lose my mind when i see him at the other side of the back. i just point at him and start walking towards him. he stands there for a second and then acts all panicked and jumps around a bit before speeding out of the back. i get over to where he was and he says “hey k- where’d you go?” and you could hear the smile in his voice. i turn and look out the doors and he’s walking back my way. i show him what im looking for and he takes me over to where the repacks for what im looking for is. but while we’re walking over he’s doing these fun little swoop steps. i don’t know how to describe them but just wide side steps for no reason other than to be funny.

later in a different order i ask him about a couple of blankets. he says he pulled one earlier but he doesn’t see it, and then apologizes for not being able to help me. i kinda get on him about apologizing SO MUCH because he really does.

“stop saying sorry for everything. it’s not your fault??”

“yea people say i apologize to much”

“yea you do, stop it *fingergun*”

i walk away for 2 seconds

*over the walkie* “k- i’m so sorry i couldn’t find those blankets for that order”

rage(/j)

i walk to the back and find E, i ask about a style item. some infant pjs. she leads me to them on the floor. we pass him, and he again loudly apologizes for not being able to find the blankets.

“i’m going to just start fighting you”

and he smiles and laughs

“i’d pay good money to see that fight” -e

weird but go off

i’m stowing that order and telling A about him and the apologizing thing, and she kinda laughs about it but i can kinda tell she probably doesn’t care. idm tho, won’t stop me from talking. but then. he does it again.

completely unrelated thing going on the walkie, that’s involving him. and he once again walkies out saying sorry for not being able to find those FUCKING BLANKETS

grrrablebhhrlisenbdjdjjfmekd SHUT

i do infact think he’s caught on to how easily i get embarrassed over stuff. i mean, i can’t really hide it. i just exist. but i think his constant bringing attention to my existence has helped me in building that up a bit so it’s not death everytime.

he works again tomorrow so we’ll see how it goes. and if anything happens. maybe something insane crazy will happen and he’ll like ask me out or some shit. a man could only hope.

12/20/24

[bnnuy-wabbit]

storytime i suppose. i'm just thinking about it.

i always find it funny that as a kid i always seem to Hit It Off with a Specific subset of Guys. Usually creeps and weirdos, usually they're very fun. Guys that would make any threat assessment go nuts. I'm going to talk about one of those guys. This is the tale of Jeff.

Jeff was a quiet kid. I met him in 8th grade because we were assigned to a coding program. Granted, the amount of coding we did was Minimal, but i became the informatic's teacher favorite little pet, and she often called me over just so i could could kill some time at her air conditioned room. Enters Jeff. Jeff was friends with this weird autistic guy from special ed. He was in 9th grade and he was 21. He was a weirdo (derogatory). We quickly became fast friends because the Coding Program thing was very small. We began to spend a lot of time together.

Nothing happened here, actually. It's just how we met.

In 9th grade we were put in the same classroom. We sat right at the front, with me behind Jeff. He was my best friend!!!

The thing with Jeff was that he had a very particular set of interests. He loved videogames, shooters, RPGs, sandbox games, you name it, he played it. He was a big fan of creepypasta (jeff the killer. hah). He used to love rock music, classical rock, but glam specifically. He was very crafty, too! He loved to make little keepsakes of his favorite movies and games, as well as cosplaying. The weirdest thing, though is that he was extremely obsessed with the columbine massacre. He claimed he collected videos of school shootings! i do not doubt him, by the way, theyre weirdly easy to find if you know where to look and i have seen quite a few myself. But columbine? Jeff was just obsessed with it and the two guys. he found the story interesting and he just vibed with it? yknow the pumped up kicks song? he was always singing it. i know it by heart, and it's because of him.

anyways. i think that obsession with school violence was kind of funny? i never thought he would do anything, yknow? he was super chill. he had plenty of friends, was never bullied at least on the years i was with him. and sure, he was like Kid Rambo and his favorite pasttime was running through the woods killing birds and throwing rocks at cats when he wasn't being crafty, but he was CHILL. Jeff was a cool guy. he videochatted with me once from the top of a tree. he also had a big fat crush on me. i think it was because i was the only girl that was close to him that wasnt like. his cousin or something. but anyways, he tells me he likes me. i say i dont like him back that way, but in reality its because i was Webdating at the time. but like, its chill. Jeff and i kept being friends. it was alright. we more or less kept in contact for a little while before it faded away as it does. one of his friends asked me to reconsider like a year later but it was so sudden i was like ??????? boy no, leabe me a lone.

we kept on talking sometimes though!! a couple years later he mentions something like SUPER off hand about some incident at his school where police got involved. nobody got harmed, but it seems like they found a bomb or something. im not quite sure, he never got into details and i wasnt there to know. but he very much left the i did it implied right there. sometimes i still think about it. im still SO curious over what the FUCK happened. like boy i do not doubt your abilities. you WERE saving up to get a gun last time we talked like 5 years ago (he was 15) but we really havent talked that much since.

ANYWAYS last i heard of him he got engaged. the girl looks weirdly like me. curly brown hair. soft face. idk, its kinda funny

hes on my top 5 favorite weird guys from my life.

[c03xistentw01]

yo

ayo i goooootta write i gootata write.

Its kinda embarrassing now idk what to say. so today when it was raining and i was walking in portello towards mensa with michele and we were both under the same umbrella guess whom i saw yes ofc the one i always see alone when im with michele: Giorgio. He always has this worried/upset look that I think stems from a lack of friends to hang out with on a saturday night. He seems quite harmless tho. anyway.

during lunch michele kept asking me about traditional ways of eating/dining in iran. he was like so do u guys have actual traditional meals i was like yea there are like stews with rice. he was like so is it just that? how about desserts? how about drinking coffee after/before meal? how about aperitivo before a meal? what are the products that we here in italy imported from "your country"? at some point he was like so yea this one time i was out i had this saffronish dessert with some marmelatta on top of it or he also said one time (or maybe some time when he goes out for eating) he might order some pasta and idk tbh? i lowkey felt like after the dessert thing he kinda expected me to be like so yea btw where was that one place to went to for the saffronish dessert? and he would like oh yea it was xxx i be like oh damn fr? he be like yea fr if u want we can go together once and and and andd....wow. people are actually patient with what they want? like are we sure that they exist? [yes. u just saw one today.] so like.....people don't just give u a poem they wrote for u 2 weeks ago on the first time of hanging out? like oh bro fr? deymn brother.

i miss you. ehem ehem.

anyway. i went to the lab afterwards. but no.

before that i went to math and it was a rainy day. at the entrance i saw soldier looking at his broken umbrella with so much confusion. swinging the bare empty handle in the air. all accompanied with so much confusion. the whole time i was looking at him i was about to throw up cuz he so damn adorable its unbelievable.

after that i went to lab and after making myself promise that when stefano was like yes for the meeting "absolutely" I'll be there today in the lab, it means that he would "absolutely" be there so imma wait until as late as it can get just to get answers. and i did and i was blessed with his emergence. he had his umbrella or hat or sth in his hand. he said "hiiii" with a really lovely tone tbfr and was like "i put this (pointed at this hat/umbrella) for a second then I'll come back" and he legit did come back in a second. he came and sat next to me and bro has zero notion of personal distance (which ehem ehem tbfr? kinda um? kinda um felt kinda um? NoIcEEEehemhehmhem?) anyway bro legit came sit like a hurricane and got too close his legs were touching mine and imagine me who's always overwhelmed over simple fucking existence of mere beings, was trying to run the fucking tiago shit. which i did in the end. tbr at first i tried to move away my legs away a bit because i was like maybe he did it cuz he dont have enough space left so i did it move my legs away but my BRO IT DID NOT WORK? so then i thought ok maybe if i continue doing it he be thinking this one lil weirdo is doing wtf? so i stopped and tried to focus on the tiago shit. i dont remember much more. he was like ok do this do that he gave me the big image of my thesis once more in detail and then said something like that what u achieved until now with moving the whole robot and shit is good and all dont panic and all u aint no behind my child. and was like the lil reports u send every now and then are good keep doing those they will come in hand when u wanna write the thesis itself. and bro. when we were talking while seated, i felt weird about his head. like his head and hands looked way bigger when up close. and also eyes ehem eheme ehemehere. i couldn't tell whether they green or brown or hazel.

yea that was it. lowkey intense. u can use that as the starting point for a future hentai plot.

also on the way out i almost bumped into daniel (fusaro). he said oh scusa...ciao!!! (cuz he saw me leaving) i said ciao but then i saw him bumping into the open window and dropping his notebook on the floor i turned back and was looking at him he said a posto i smiled he left. u know what i like? the fact that he felt the need to reassure me that it/he era a posto. man how much i liked that.

[update]: HELP. my virgin-ass has not been having it AT ALL OK? I can so NOT pretend like I did not get turned on. ok? I've legit had 4 0rga3mz in the last 36 hours and I'm just...helpless. I was trying my best not to google you. AND not to daydream which i successfully FAILED at both. so apparently u were doing your [continuous?] master's at Polimi from 2011 until 2017 so that makes you 31/2ish? you went to EPFL and ETH Zurich ... oh fuck it. i just learned on my intensive Facebook cyberstalking journey that you are in a relationship (and seem to have been since around 2011ish?) and tomorrow when i regain my emotional strength I'll get back here (i go die slowly, thinking of how you were playing table tennis naked).

anyway. what i mainly wanted to say is that the fact that you were so comfortable being physically close to me stems from (as a result of at least 48 hours of intensive deep analytical-hierarchical reasoning) the fact that you are so highly sure of YOURSELF that it can not possibly even BEGIN TO MEAN anything to you. While me, on the other hand, was so acutely unsure of myself that i kept keeping my distance. but hey, it could be worse. I will still have (hopefully) such small physical interactions that well, as we all know by now, can not mean shit to you and to me, they have the full potential to brighten up even just a bit, this current doom and gloom era of my life. I think I do feel privileged to entitle myself to seek (not desperately) this occasional pleasure. To not essentially feel the closeness, but to notice myself enjoying the satisfaction of adoring you under the hood. [update]: I was so sad a while back i wanted to be shredded to pieces and vanish into thin air. I wanna let go of fear so bad but the more you try to run away from it the more it catches you instead. Ethical or fucking not, we are declared fully free to think whatever thought we want right? This weekend I felt loved and thrilled to the core. I felt loved because I felt like I could simulate what it could be like to receive it from you. I kept tweaking the parameters in my head to align my imagination with the "most probable" scenario. It was an oscillatory stochastic process but it was worth it, i enjoyed the short ride, with "you". The memories of the brief frenzy still smoothens my ever-shaky soul, puts it at ease. oh man. how many times did i imagine kissing you or nervously running my fingers on your neck grabbing your waste and feeling my legs between yours but above all, how many times did I try to make myself feel "accepted" by you? enough times i bet. no matter how free we appear to be in our own "mind castles", I was still way too unsure to give in to my vulnerabilities with you. Although I did not deprive myself from feeling like I'm a kite being flown by you. Keep flying me don't let go of the leash can't get enough of the height or the wind or the view oh the view for sure most of all . .

... scusa ma ho troppo sonno ok