#i love the domestic aus but also guys lets go back to our roots

[milksteakkk]

i need more in cannon wintersberg

[alchemist-shizun]

I saw you in a dream. (Then it came to an end.)

Read on Ao3!

Happy belated birthday to one of the best people in the world: @lance-alt! I promised I’d do something for you on Monday, but of course I have to make people wait for the juicy stuff. (read: the juicy stuff will be your tears after this, probably.) Love you bro!

General taglist: @whizzie72 @sapphire-knight @burningpersonflapsuitcase @softanxiouspatton @royallyanxious @kim-argent-moon @lance-alt (tell me if you want to be added or removed)

Taglist: @unsocialchapeau

Word Count: 2,626

Characters: mainly Remus, Logan, Deceit, Roman, (mentioned Virgil)

Pairing(s): onesided!Intrulogical, implied Loceit

Warning(s): Angst. So much angst. Also unresolved angst. Yelling, Swearing. Might be a bit ooc cause I can’t write Remus the way I’d like.

Summary: What do we not do for a loved one? What do we not do for the sake of a friendship? What do we not do to make sure we destroy ourselves in favor of others? And how exactly did Remus think he was going to be perfectly fine?

A/N: I am not sorry. This is a human AU btw. Enjoy! :3

❝Though I am bruised

Face of contusions

Know I’ll keep moving❞

Remus would have never blamed D.

It was middle school, and middle schoolers were widely known for their passion of brushing off specific people who didn’t appear quite as appropriate for themselves in their eyes.

He had always been a devastating tornado according to those around him, unable to be tamed unless given space to burst until not even a gentle breeze was left to tickle his skin.

D, on the other hand, knew how to be cool and poised, but that didn’t mean his nature was the one of an innocent puppy.

No, better yet, he was more like a domesticated beast.

That truly gave the teachers a hard time, because once combined they became inseparable and never really ceased to meddle with them.

And yet … students were most definitely inclined to avoid Remus at best, while when it came to D only curious and interested glances were given.

Remus would have never blamed him though, D didn’t even realize how far better they were treating him compared to his friend. He only focused on how close-minded people still were in there.

Who was he not to join in his complaining?

Everything would have been fine with him for as long as their friendship stayed that way. A messy supportive two-participants family.

It felt like a welcoming and roaring fire at the same time, the chaos they brought just with their understanding looks and smirks.

They knew they were going to end up with a long lasting friendship and they were proud to remind those around them by never losing sight of each other at school.

And it was okay that way, with only just D accepting him the way he was, he didn’t really need much else.

Until that cursed afternoon.

There was an extracurricular sort of contest their school held right after lessons every year, but Remus could barely remember what it even was about

All he remembered was that damned marvellous thoughtful and focused expression when he looked a bit to his left to the boy sitting next to him.

Oh, the irony.

It had been right then that it had hit him. That maybe … maybe there was already something else. A something that transformed into something more with every little bit of interaction they shared.

Roman knew him, they were in the same class, and he had to complain at least once a day about how unnerving the guy was, always challenging him do debates Roman was so inclined to win that it took a third party member, Virgil, to separate them.

How the three of them were still close friends after three years was still a mystery to many.

So that was when he first heard about Logan.

But his brother and him weren’t exactly known for having the safest household in the world, so inviting friends over was a hard no. Then, the actual first time Remus had seen him was when he entered middle school that year.

At first he hadn’t obviously realized his crush, but after he had spent the minimal amount of time with Logan, it was so blatant that even he couldn’t deny it to himself.

He could have also labelled it as the first time someone other than his brother and D had recognized him as another human other than a weird poltergeist to avoid. There was a way he spoke with that low tone and thoughtful arguments that would have probably made him melt right on the spot. Or maybe it was his sharp features, or the way he thought he had looked at him that one time.

Remus was deep down the river at the base of the cliff, the tip of his hair barely managing to be untouched by the water.

Damn Roman. Damn Roman and his storytelling, and how Remus had always rooted for Logan in their discussions, how he had already taken a liking into him and had already doomed himself.

It was break, fifteen minutes of pure relaxation, and Remus and D had already spent the first five minutes together, trying to get away from the stress of the ending of the first term.

D’s eyes lit up as they turned a corner, Remus followed his gaze as he spoke.

« Hey! Why is this the first time I see you since school started? » a toothy smile displayed on his lips. It was almost as bright as the one he reserved to him.

« Your cousin is impossible to move from his seat. » Logan’s crystalline voice cleared. « So Roman and I mostly stay in class with him. »

« Ugh, » D rolled his eyes. « I apologize on his behalf. » he didn’t hide the fond tone when he talked, though.

« No, it’s quite alright by us. » had he ever not turned to Remus, maybe he wouldn’t have regretted meeting Logan in the long run. « Oh, I didn’t even introduce myself properly the other day. » he stretched out his hand. « I am Logan. »

« I know. »

Panic.

Fuck. Fuck what did you just say, why. Now he’ll think you’re creepy, too.

D put an arm around his shoulders. « Yeah, he’s Roman’s brother. » perhaps a saviour? « And sometimes he’s just as dense as him. »

Remus scoffed. « Lies. I’m a better idiot than him. »

That got a chuckle out of both. He felt delighted.

As he saw Logan about to withdraw his hand, Remus took it almost instantly.

Oh my god what the fuck are you doing?

« I’m Remus. » the bell rang and maybe his ears were too.

« My pleasure. » Logan conceded before letting go and starting to backtrack to his class. « I’ll see you two around. »

And as fast as he arrived, he was gone.

Like a blurry hallucination or those spots you see when you get up too fast from the couch.

The rest of the day-

Well, he didn’t remember much anymore.

Maybe the fact that he and Logan did actually have something in common.

When there was a group of three, there would always be the two that shared the stronger chemistry. And if Logan didn’t feel as close to Roman and Virgil, Remus sure as heck knew if anyone interacted with D and him, he would have felt like something was off most of the times.

There were flashes of memories that crossed his mind ever since Logan had left middle school to start his first year of high-school.

Most were all the meet ups they had with D during break, the glances he caught and buried deep down in his heart, the laughter of all three of them, how their dynamics colliding were actually definitely working well together.

What he remembered mostly were the furtive tears that were shed on their last day.

He never told D about that.

It was when he went home that he couldn’t have hidden it from Roman any longer. His brother had affirmed that he had been crying even more than himself, which was saying a lot.

So the words came out like a destructive flood, deleting with a burning strength all the hopeful thoughts.

« Rem, listen here. » Roman, thankfully, had spoken up before his mind would have travelled down risky paths. « Not seeing each other almost everyday doesn’t mean you won’t be friends any longer. »

He had only looked up from the pavement. Were he to look back at this memory years after he’d have thought himself to be pathetic.

« And you can definitely meet after school whenever you want. If our parents won’t let you, I’ll come with. »

And that they did, slowly trying to gain their parents’ trust to let them go out by themselves until they were both attending high-school.

Another three years would have passed before the lethal “last day” would come again, but the trio made sure to imprint the best memories together while they had the time.

Only that the most unexpected things happen at the worst times.

Remus and D were both in the third year; things seemed to be going smoothly as ever, between all the tests and mental breakdowns for said tests, Remus would have never thought to cross the threshold of his school and be met with loud yelling not too further away from his class.

Normally he wouldn’t have really cared much.

Unless the two subjects were Logan and D. Which they were. Which had also made him pale with a horrible feeling in his guts.

He couldn’t make out what they were saying as the screaming in his thoughts didn’t leave him alone.

« MIT, Logan. Seriously! You’re insane! »

« I had my reasons! »

D scoffed and put his face in his hands for a beat. « Refusing because of your friendships is not a valid reason! »

Remus was confused. He really didn’t want to be there at all.

« It is when you don’t want to lose them. »

« You wouldn’t have, you idiot! »

« Guys what’s- »

« There is a reason if we’re friends! »

« -going …? » he could see the profound rage in D’s caramel irises. One glance and you’re dead.

« You didn’t trust us to maintain our friendship, did you? Is that why you refused the international internship? »

« That’s absurd, that’s not what I mean! »

« It sounds a lot like it’s exactly what you mean! »

Remus connected the dots.

Friendship. MIT. International internship. Logan had refused to be an intern abroad only because of them. He had been too afraid to loose them as friends if he were to be away too long.

And, of course, D was mad about his lost opportunity. He would have never admit it at that moment, but he felt guilty, too.

« You sure talk a lot and pretend you’re smart but, really, you’re just as stupid sometimes. »

The look in Logan’s eyes changed.

Oh no. Oh no no no no.

« Fine then. I’ll keep on being stupid on my own. » he walked away in a instant, steps long and furious, opposing the low tone of his voice, but matching the seething fire in his chest.

« D- »

« Please, don’t. » D looked at him with broken eyes. « I’m fine. We’re fine. I’ll see you during break, okay? »

Remus only nodded and headed to his own class. He pretended he didn’t feel awful as he walked by the door to Logan’s own class.

It was as D said. Fine.

Everything was going to be okay.

Except it wasn’t, because that was the last time both of them talked with Logan.

The two wouldn’t even look at each other and Remus couldn’t help but side with D. That meant he wouldn’t have interacted with the older boy either.

And so time passed … months. Avoiding each other when all you ever wanted was to share at least a single word.

It wasn’t okay. It wasn’t fine at all, it hurt so much and Remus didn’t know how longer he would have been able to handle it.

Yet, he was too afraid to do anything. He wouldn’t have wanted to loose D’s friendship too because of a reckless action. And he did lots of them. So, for once, he stayed put and let the Fates do their work.

Which ended into the fight remaining unresolved, Logan graduating from high-school and both of them never meeting him again.

Roman had tried to bring up the argument multiple times, but Remus had decided to bury everything deep down and avoid ever bringing it up.

Like a ghost, Logan appeared to exist only in his mind. A mind that he didn’t seem to want to leave. Even despite all that had been going down his ridiculously tough teenage life.

Remus and D had no idea how they made it through the final exams.

They also had no clue how they almost completely lost contact after the beginning of university.

Maybe it wasn’t loneliness he felt after that. Maybe it was more disappointment.

It wasn’t like it was anyone’s fault, though. Their lessons never matched, so during the week it was almost impossible to meet, sometimes they had jobs in the weekend to pay for apartments nearby their universities.

Texts became a burden they both forgot to remember to answer, it was as if anything was a priority to socializing and it was driving them insane.

Even sad.

Then one day, out of the blue, D had texted him in a way he hadn’t done in too long. He sounded greatly excited and he had told Remus he needed to meet him as soon as possible.

He had a surprise!

Remus was radiant that day, finally getting the chance he deserved to recover their friendship.

It was a Friday afternoon, he was walking down the street towards the place they had agreed on to meet.

D was right in front of him. But enough meters away so that he couldn’t recognize yet the person walking alongside him. Remus narrowed his eyes, almost squeezing them shut at some point. Did the sun have to be so bright right above them that day?

He put a hand on his forehead to shield his vision.

He wished he didn’t.

Not because the guy next to D was Logan.

Not because his heart made three somersaults before twisting one last time as though he fell in love all over again at once, hitting his chest like a violent wind in a snowstorm.

Not because he was smiling so wide his face would have fallen off any second.

But because, as his eyes focused and examined their figures, he noticed the details.

Like their joined hands, fingers intertwined the way he would have wanted to but had never been brave enough to do.

How they looked lovingly at each other before turning back to him.

His own smile faltering for a second and then going back as it was before. Normal, sure, but fake. Fake, but not blatant enough to be discovered.

He couldn’t do this to them.

And sure he was going to be happy for them right? They had been friends. He was going to survive by internalizing everything in himself, right? He was going to forget about all his feelings in favour of his closest friends. That was the right thing to do.

It happened to everyone.

It did.

He could survive.

Hurting in the process, but he could.

The day went by in an instant, a terrible, calamitous and painstakingly long instant in which he hoped he had been hallucinating all along.

Remus had wiped everything he had seen while on his way home. He forcefully removed any kind of thought in his head so he could bask in the numbness until the silent chaos of the world around him stopped making sense.

He threw the door to his home open.

Except that it wasn’t his home and that he had somehow gotten to Roman’s own apartment, red eyes adorning his face in a brutally doleful expression.

His brother was immediately at his side, arms wrapped around his chest, with an understanding look in his eyes and anticipation for the tears to come.

He had known about Logan and D getting together before Remus, so he had seen something like that coming.

Yet Roman didn’t know it would’ve hit him hard too, seeing his brother so broken.

So he let Remus cry his soul out, while nothing else could have been done.

Dreaming, perhaps.

That was all he had left.

[stillness-in-green]

i realized mika's the only one of the tekkadan boys to have a specific thing he wants to do outside of fighting- farming- which is kinda ironic considering he's been called aimless. so do you have any ideas of what the other boys could/would like to do as a profession/career outside of fighting (not counting what they actually ended up doing in the epilogue)? doesn't have to be for everybody, just for whoever you can think of. thank you :)

I got this ask ages ago and have been periodically rolling it around in and around other things, but I put it in front of myself again today and finally typed out a response. Below the cut, some thoughts on what these boys would be doing if they had, not only all survived the series, but done so in a way that left them free to pursue whatever ambitions or talents they might desire or discover.  

Most of them.  

Lets start with the inner circle and work our way out.  

I think Biscuit (whose survival is probably the reason everyone else is alive in this hypothetical AU of ours, because he would have an aneurysm before he let Orga join hands with McGillis Fareed) could be good at practically anything he puts his mind to, and therefore, what I think he should probably do is go to school.  He obviously values education–he spent lord knows how much time endangering life and limb to earn the money to put Cookie and Cracker through school, and clearly admires how far Savarin’s schooling took him in life.  As to what he might study, there are a number of ways that could go–agricultural sciences to help his Granny Sakura with the farm, business to pick up where Savarin left off, possibly a social science so he can find a job in all the inevitable restructuring that Mars’ new government will be doing.  

Eugene, more than anyone else, strikes me as wanting to find someone to settle down with. Unlike Shino, who talks about women solely in the context of his sex drive, Eugene is interested in romance. And while he doesn’t seem to have had much luck with that in IBO’s canon epilogue, in a more peaceful time, it’s easy to imagine him devoting more energy to dating.  Without Tekkadan eating up his attention, whatever career he finds a way into–possibly bodyguard work still, or maybe an office job like Zack’s–would, I think, be just a way to help support a family.   

Akihiro, unlike most all of the boys, already has a girl who’s interested in him, and if he survived this show for this AU, I see no reason to not imagine the Turbines did also. Lafter plainly was never going to leave the Turbines to be with him, of course, but if there was no Tekkadan to protect…  I don’t think Naze would be very keen to break his girls-only rule, but every chick must leave the nest eventually–perhaps Lafter and Akihiro might be entrusted with protecting/leading another branch of the business?  Given the size of the organization*, there must be other battleships doing the transport business/transport protection thing.  Or they could just accompany whichever shipment Naze directed them towards.

   That is, though, probably kind of a longshot. Tekkadan Inc. or no, Akihiro has strong feelings about protecting his family, and where I think that’s most likely to leave him is actually in Dante’s place in the epilogue, helping run the orphanage and taking care of children.  While I don’t know that gentleness and empathy will ever come easily to him, he would be able to relate with the stories of the many ex-Debris children that orphanage is implied to be seeing post-outlawing-of-legal-child-trafficking, and it would be a way to both honor and grapple with the memory of Masahiro.

Derma would probably end up in about the same place he does in the show–assuming Akihiro doesn’t get adopted by the Turbines, I think Derma would follow him to the orphanage.  He had been more directly under Dante’s wing in the series, of course, but for a lot of reasons, I don’t think that the same things that would appeal to Dante in civilian life would hold much interest for Derma.  He doesn’t have Dante’s knack with computers; he doesn’t share Dante’s itch for fame.  But he does have a load of self-confidence issues that make him exactly as likely to relate to orphan ex-Debris kids as Akihiro’s losses make him.  (It’s also the case that Derma is the Tekkadan kid who’s the least explored outside of being a child soldier, so I’m inclined to err on the side of what the show points him to rather than make things up wildly, which is essentially what I’d be doing otherwise.)

Returning to the main group, Shino is easy; in a scenario in which he isn’t a paid civilian soldier, that guy has got “stunt show pilot” written all over him.  I doubt Mars’ entertainment industry is so well developed that they need or can afford to hire mobile suit pilots for TV/film work, but I bet the planet can support something more like the Post-Disaster equivalent of monster truck derbies.  They’d probably involve old/restored mobile workers, rather than the expensive military hardware that is a proper mobile suit, but I certainly don’t put it past Shino to showboat around in a decommissioned Flauros from time to time.

Dante, always grouped with Shino in combat, would probably follow him here.  In a peaceful epilogue, Dante easily could have an entirely lucrative (and possibly illicit) career with his computer skills, but I think he’d finding sitting at a computer all day to be unfathomably boring the more like an actual desk job it became.  Compared to the measure of fame Shino would be making for himself, it’s obvious which Dante would go for.  Also, with two people with mobile suits, they could possibly get some kind of MS boxing circuit going.  I think that would be a very longterm project, more suitable for when things calm back down and there are all these mobile suits around collecting dust.  

Yamagi is a mechanic–he’s one of the few characters with job experience other than “soldier,” and there’s no reason to expect him to change streams from the canon to this AU.  However, I think Yukinojo and Merribit would have encouraged him to go work with Shino’s pit crew/show team before too long, if he ever held a job down at Kassapa Factory to begin with.  He and Shino are, almost certainly, dating on the side.  Just, like, fill in Shino and Yamagi for the Special Feeling umbrella meme.

Ride is another gimme.  He has an obvious artistic streak, the evidence of which is painted all over the Isaribi, the Tekkadan complex, and the orphanage building.  If he didn’t need to fight (and while he was pretty gung-ho about it originally, I have to think the trauma from Hashmal and the agriculture plant is going to be long-lived), it’s very simple to imagine Ride getting nudged into pursuing art in a more professional way.  Especially if Kudelia’s new government is subsidizing such things.

Chad is another one that I’d like to see in school.  There are several instances in the series that impy he’s doing serious amounts of research/study on the side–he’s constantly shown asking pertinent questions or showcasing some skillset or bit of knowledge that he has no business having access to based simply on what we’re explicitly told about him.  Given that, it’d be interesting for the others to convince him to set aside the helper ant mentality and go learn something he thinks is interesting.  While Biscuit has family needs to guide his academic choices, Chad could really get into anything.  I would slot him into a field that involves research but also quantifiable knowledge–history, for example, or psychology, rather than e.g. theoretical physics.  I kind of love the idea of Chad getting access to a bunch of banned books via Kudelia or their Teiwaz connections. 

Takaki seems on-track to wind up in politics, if not as a politician himself, then as the sort of lobbyist or aide that any notionally democratic government runs on. Given that he bailed out of fighting by choice, this seems to be his chosen path in any case.  He’s also likely to make a hell of a diplomat when he gets older and picks up more confidence in himself.

Aston is so rooted in his self-image of “soldier” that it’s difficult to imagine what he might want to do outside of that field.  We do know a few things about him that could give us a direction, though: he’s observant (noticing more about Fuka’s schoolwork than her own brother), he’s relatively prudent and cautious (his teamwork with Vito, and his reluctance to wildly charge McGillis), and he’s a mediator (between his quartet back with the Brewers, and again between Takaki and the other Earth Branch boys).  So what kind of career could combine those traits with his gravitation towards military settings?  Personally, I think he’d do really well as a crisis negotiator–a specialist brought in by police to help with hostage situations and other threats of e.g. domestic violence, terrorism, suicide, and so on.  Of course, the trick there is less getting certified for that job than it is finding a group to work alongside–while I can see him joining an Arbrau/Edmonton police force, it’s much harder to imagine him being able to get a job with Gjallarhorn.  In any case, assuming he can manage to find an avenue for said work, he’d be great at it. 

This brings us to our Season 2 newbies.  

Hush I would mostly see following Mikazuki into farming.  Not just to be following Mika, mind, but because Hush’s motivation, beyond a big ol’ chip on his shoulder about the Alaya Vijnana system, is much the same as so many others–to protect and provide for his social circle.  If he’s provided an avenue for that that isn’t constant endangerment of life and limb, I think it’s what he’d go for. And farming is helping to provide for a great many people, some very directly–the fact that he can still be around to help Mikazuki is just a bonus.  

Zack joined Tekkadan because of their fame, rather than out of real necessity–so what exactly did he think was so cool about Tekkadan to begin with?  Given his reticence about actual combat when he comes face to face with it, perhaps it’s more the “spitting in Gjallarhorn’s eye” aspect than the feats of badassity?  Given that, what could he do that would scratch that itch? Well, he’s a hell of a programmer, and has Dante available to teach him anything about hacking he doesn’t already know. I think he’d be very happy being one of those whistle-blower internet Ariadne activist types, finding secret information, info on cover-ups, or details on corruption, and providing proof of such things to the world at large, particularly given how government-controlled the media is in the setting.  

Dane is already living a life free of fighting, so it’s possible that, absent Tekkadan being a bunch of criminals, he might end up working at Kassapa Factory anyway, or perhaps going with Yamagi to Shino and Dante’s venture.  He’s another big mystery as to things he might enjoy outside of work; for example, he evinces little patience with Hush until Hush starts showing some basic empathy/humility, which leads me to think that close work with people would probably not be his thing.  So sticking to work with his hands, I wonder if he, like Ride, would get any mileage out of art?  He could snap paintbrushes like twigs, of course, but I can see him being good at something like pottery, and if his pre-show history is as violent as we’re lead to believe, I can see it being relaxing–probably as a hobby, rather than a career, just something he can do on his own time and terms.  

So, that’s every–mm? A significant exclusion?  A deuteragonist undiscussed? 

Oh, right.  

So, Orga. What would Orga do in peacetime? Well, that’s difficult to even try to conceive.  Orga, like McGillis, is massively defined by both his ambition and his dissatisfaction with the status quo.  He’s never satisfied, never content; he interprets Mikazuki’s intense gaze as a challenge, and it never stops pushing him forward, no matter who else tries to tell him he’s going too fast.  What could Orga ever do in peacetime?  It’s tempting to say that every one of the hypothetical outcomes above was paid for in Orga’s blood, because less than a handful of these people would ever desert Orga if he lived, and while he lived and had people looking to him, he would never stop.  In that way, Tekkadan is in a feedback loop that they can’t get out of without a system-redefining change.  Looking at his skill set, we again find a bunch of things that suggest that Orga works best as a leader–he’s canny, highly charismatic, a quick thinker, and he has killer instincts, albeit with some Mikazuki-sized blind spots.  This is a kid practically fated to be a gang leader–and he’s also oathsworn to the mob, making getting out of that life safely a dicey prospect.

   So what is there for him, if not fighting?  Purely as an imaginary exercise, he’d be a scary effective community leader.  I mean, just imagine being a city representative showing up to a town hall meeting and this is waiting in the front row:

   But that’s still pretty mundane.  Lets try something really different on for size.  

   During the season break, Orga is attending some official function at Saisei, lurking around afterward and waiting for a chance to talk to Naze.  Out of nowhere, he gets jumped by the fashion equivalent of Saisei’s eccentric mechanic, who insists that Orga’s je ne sais quoi levels are off the charts, and he absolutely must grant her at least one modeling session.  Naze, walking in on this conversation, has a huge laugh about it and goads Orga into accepting.  And then the whole of the second season gets derailed because suddenly Orga is faced with the argument that sufficiently famous people are also rich and powerful, rich and powerful enough that he could relocate his entire gang to some private satellite around Jupiter if he were so inclined.  And maybe it feels immaterial, and maybe it wasn’t the method what he expected, but that doesn’t make the paycheck any less real.  The designer tells him in no uncertain terms that if he wants to continue, she will personally talk McMurdo Barriston’s ear off about how he is completely wasting this surly teenager’s God-given personal magnetism.

  Orga immediately has a huge crisis over it, because it feels terrifyingly unmasculine and he has no concept of the term “soft power.” Atra loves it, though, and Biscuit thinks it’s strange but effective.  Things almost fall through anyway when it comes out that Orga has a whisker implant, but the designer is insistent, so they end up just photo-editing it out and limiting his public appearances, which is just as well, because he finds crowds and fans alike to be extremely uncomfortable.  

  Tekkadan still do odd jobs for Teiwaz now and again, like protecting Kudelia from Dawn Horizon, but are mostly out of the line of fire when McGillis starts looking around for allies.   McGillis, deprived of a Tekkadan he can talk around on joining him, is left profoundly annoyed.  How things go from there is a whole new question.

*Allow me to quote from this post: 

In the interest of context for the number I’m about to lay on you, the Dawn Horizon group–a band of pirates who have ten ships and are considered sizeable enough that they fill a niche that’s important to Gjallarhorn, and would also be too much a pain to try to oust entirely, have around 2,500 members.  Wow!  That’s a lot!  

The Turbines have 50,000 members.

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[marsreds]

Can you do a list of your favorite Zutara fanfics, or like a rec list please!

Okay, Anon, I’m gonna give you a few, and then probably keep coming back to this list every now and again.

Under the cut so that anyone who wants it gets the up to date version.

(I’ll be @-ing anyone that I know to have a tumblr, but if you don’t want your name here, hmu and I’ll make it go away):

“A Lover of the Lights” by euphorella, complete, G, 5,507 words:

Zuko comes to terms with the aftermaths of the war.

Healing! Emotional and physical! For everyone!

“and you feel your heart (taking root in your body)” by @raisindeatre, complete, Not Rated (but I’d give it a ~T), 39,267 words:

“No one is now what they were before the war.” - Catherynne ValenteAfter everything - the comet, the war, the coronation - Katara tries to find the road back to herself. Somewhere along the way, she also finds the road to Zuko.

This one’s near and dear to me because, aside from the excellent Zutara content, it’s probably one of the best, “We’re all going our separate ways now, but I love you so much, and I’ll always be there for you, no matter how far I have to travel to do so.” fics I’ve ever read. They’re all so good to one another. All of them. “We must be anchored.“ is a sentiment that encapsulates how I think the post-war Gaang should’ve worked so very nicely.

(I also genuinely recommend everything else that @raisindeatre writes, they’re great.)

“Bonus day: Tea Shop“ by @cincincilin, complete, E, 11,133 words:

"Hello and welcome to the Jasmine Dragon. Today's special is—" he cut himself of with a sharp intake of breath, at the same moment that Katara placed the voice and looked up.'He has hair.' was her first thought. Then the rest of her brain caught up with her and she started to get up, sending Momo scrambling to hide under the table.Season 2 AU, during "The Guru", messes around with the timeline a bit, and with Upper Ring architecture.

“Dishes and Kisses” by rosdrise, complete, M, 2,186 words:

The first time Katara wanted to kiss the banished prince of the Fire Nation was the first night he washed the dishes.

Domestic fluff! Sexual tension!

“Embrace” by alexb49,complete, M, 3,078 words:

Katara stumbles across a familiar boy out on a date in Ba Sing Se. Set during S2 episode “Tales of Ba Sing Se”. Rated M for mature content of a sexual nature. Pairing: Katara/Zuko. Written for the Zutarotica 2010 Summer Challenge.

I love Season 2 AUs so much. Just so much. And I really like the imagery in this one.

“Taken By the Faceless Stranger” by @mmmisora, complete, M, 11,149words:

Season 2 oneshot, between “Zuko Alone” and “The Chase”. Katara thinks she knows all there is to know about a certain masked warrior. Bluetara. Written for Zutara Week 2011. Rated M for mature.

Again, I love Season 2 AUs. So much.

“of learning” by @stellatiate, in progress, T,  13,847 words (for now):

“We hate some persons because we do not know them; and we will not know them because we hate them.” Let us render this hatred invalid.

-—katara & zuko. s3, the western air temple.

It’s been a while since I read this one, but it’s basically Zuko and Katara sitting and talking and learning about one another. It’s lovely. (It also hasn’t updated since July, last year, so go leave comments.)

“on commitment” by @ilosttrackofthings, complete, T, 1,214 words:

“Just explain it to me again.”

“There is no way you can pass as my brother and we are way too conspicuous as two unrelated people, from different nations, traveling together. So we’re pretending to be married.”

Heeey, you know what’s really great? Season 2 Zutara. You know what’s also great? Managing to illustrate psychological states of character without going into their heads. Some other stuff here is, like, all I want from my Zutara fic, but talking about that’d spoil it.

“please (don’t) meet me under the mistletoe” by @akaiikowrites, complete, T, 1,862 words:

“I have a plan. It’s a plan that’s kind of like invading Russia in winter. But it’s a plan.” Zuko finds the love of his life while hiding under a buffet table at his mother’s Christmas party and it’s not a complete disaster.

Fluff. Nice, gentle, sweet fluff.

“Reliance” by Moosebrawn, in progress, Not Rated (but I’d give it a ~T, for now), 6,314 words (for now):

When different circumstances in the North Pole lead to Katara and Zuko losing their bending, they must work together to regain what has been lost. Cannon divergence from S1E20

You know what’s also great? Zuko-Iroh-Katara boat trips. (Go comment on this fic, it hasn’t updated since January and we gotta pressure encourage the author.)

“Southern Lights“ by @colourwhirled, in progress, M, 107,694 (for now):

In a world without the Avatar, where Sozin’s Conquest is successful and the political machinations of the former nations drive the balance of power. A hardened young waterbender is torn from home and forced to join a team of elite fighters, including a carefree Air Nomad, a runaway Earth Kingdom heiress, and the inscrutable son of the Fire Lord himself..

Man, oh man this fic. I love this fic. I suffer because of this fic. It has everything! Soft!Zuko!* Badass!Katara! Amazing world-building! Iroh! Pinning! Guys, there’s so much pinning in this fic, I live for Zutara pinning and this delivers it just as I want it.

“Time heals wounds (but leaves scars)” by @until-my-last, in progress, T, 12,867 words (for now):

Glimpses and snapshots of Katara and Zuko’s lives, from the four-part finale to post-LoK. Mostly canon compliant, but ultimately Zutara.

Hahahahaaaaaah. Okay. This is the single most painful thing I’ve ever read. But it’s so good. So, so, so good. Like, you’ll suffer, immensely, but you’ll be happy about it. Just read it, please. And then come to me so that I have someone to scream with about this fic. Please?

“The Confrontational Approach” by Advocaat, in progress, T, 128,432words (for now):

(Under revision 12/2016) In which Prince Zuko can’t catch a break. “Wait, you tied Katara to a tree? Wow, that’s… I mean… that just explains so much.” “I was desperate!” “Whoa! Way too much information there, Sparky.”  Zutara

Man, I gotta re-read this one. I remember being like, “!!!” over it, but I can’t remember exactly why.

“To Catch the Moon” by Tonight’s The Night, in progress, M,  114,208 words (for now):

Separated from her friends after her duel with Zuko in the Spirit Oasis, Katara realizes that her best chance of finding Aang and her brother is to become Zuko’s prisoner. But when Zuko stops treating her like a captive and starts treating her like a comrade, she begins to realize that he may not be the monster she thought he was. Zutara.

One of the few Season 1/Season 2 fics I’ve read that gets that Zuko has always been a good person.

*Which is true Zuko, and anyone who disagrees should not be allowed to touch him.

Aaaand that’s all I’ve got atm. Have fun, and don’t forget to comment!

[yavemiel]

Top Ten Fic Recs

Tagged by  @callioope and @justkeeponthegrass thanks guys!

This says top ten fic recs and I was like ‘I guess I can limit myself to ten’ and now having started going through them I’m like ‘ahahahahahahah NO’ so without further ado, split into three categories, here are thirty-nine of my favourite Rebelcaptain fic recs, listed in no particular order, because you see how easy it was for me to cut down the list I have, there’s no way I could chose between them. The only concession I could make was to keep it to one per author, but know that if one is on the list, all the rest of their stuff is amazing too! All the links are to AO3 and I’ve tagged the authors on Tumblr when I know their handle, but if you spot one of yours and I’ve not tagged you, let me know! :) Recs are below the cut because this is a LONG POST.

List One (>20,000 words, complete)

- floating, sinking by @shu-of-the-wind (shuofthewind), NR, 188k words [One of the quintessential Rebelcaptain fics, which tells an AU version of A New Hope. The character voices are so spectacular in this, every point of view is perfectly written, and it’s so SO believable. Cannot over-recommend]

- to treat everything as if it were a nail by @things-with-teeth (thingswithteeth), M, 103k words [What if Jyn had been found on Lah’mu and been taken by Krennic? This fic answers that question spectacularly, which such depth and character strength you kind of forget it’s not how it happened in canon]

- gray areas (series name cassian andor nonsense) by @theputterer (theputterer), T, 371k words [This series is a love song to Cassian Andor. If you’ve been looking for the tragic backstory that explains how he got where he is in Rogue One, THIS IS WHAT YOU’RE LOOKING FOR. Bring tissues. Also goes well beyond Rogue One into what might have happened to Cassian and Jyn in this universe, an unbelievable epic]

- Won’t You Let Us Wander by angel_deux, T, 243k words [I have so much love for this series, it’s Cassian/Jyn focused but the other characters are so amazing as well, particularly Leia. It’s basically 243k words of Cassian and Jyn working through their respective issues and building a family and a team as they go and it is a delight.]

- The Words Would Only Rhyme by @betweentheheavesofstorm (betweentheheavesofstorm), T, 51k words [I really love this story, Jyn has visions and it takes a completely different tack to canon AND has ‘fake relationship’ one of my favourite tropes ever and I really don’t think I can do it justice without spoiling it, so just take my word for it and read it] - as the fates unwind by Jaxin, T, 45k words [A look at what might have happened if Lyra had lived to bring up Jyn, it’s been a while since I read it, but the thing that sticks in my memory about this one is the characterisation, it’s Spot On]

- Intersections by Caedus501, T, 139k words [This series is spectacular: intersections is a great name for it, it basically retells the history of Cassian and Jyn if they had run across each other in various guises during their pasts, and how that would affect the events of Rogue One. Excellent writing.]

- For A Good Time Call by @jynsanity (jormaperalta), T, 28k words [This is SUCH a feel good fic, sweet and funny, I can’t tell you how much I love it. A modern AU where Jyn writes her name on the wall of a bar and Cassian texts her, and it works so well.]

- in the spaces by @gizkasparadise (nymja), E, 27k words [I come back and re-read this fic so often, I really feel like it’s one of the truest to canon characterisations out there: Jyn and Cassian are so committed to the cause, but also to each other, and the conflicts that that causes are obvious and heart-breaking and perfectly perfectly written.]

- spes semper mihi adest by @rain-sleet-snow (rain_sleet_snow), T, 27k words [this is another one that I’ve re-read so much, it’s amazing, following Cassian and Jyn all the way through the original trilogy in a way that really makes you believe they probably were running around in canon. Also has a lovely coda set during The Force Awakens called but sometimes it rhymes which I would also highly recommend]

- In the Shadows by @hurricanedancer (StormDancer), M, 21k words [The White Collar AU you never knew you needed! I love this one, the characters work so damn well in their transplanted home, particularly Jyn as the ex-criminal trying to go straight but chafing at her bonds.]

- long way home by @realitycheckbounced (noelia_g), E, 25k words [I love this series, it’s so feel-good, and the relationship between Cassian and Jyn is so joyful!]

List Two (>20,000 words, WIP)

- Resistance is Built on Hope by @chronicolicity (ChronicOlicity), T, 133k words [A stunning WWII AU which actually follows the plot of R1 pretty closely within that setting, fabulous writing and characterisation, and a really really great slow burn relationship between Cassian and Jyn]

- Jagged Edges by @mediumsizedfountain (jncar), M, 105k words [Essentially a story about the survivors of Rogue One learning to live with the consequences and finding their place within the Rebellion, and about Cassian and Jyn figuring out where they stand with each other, a really lovely read]

- In a dark time, the eye begins to see by @imsfire2 (imsfire), NR, 87k words [I love this story so much: Cassian is an artist and Jyn is his muse, but it’s more a canon divergent fic than an AU, as the events and motivations of Rogue One are still very much centre stage] - Chaconne by @ibohe (ibohemianam), T, 221k words [This is one of the first series I truly fell in love with in the fandom and it remains a firm favourite now! A great take on a possible backstory for Cassian, and a look at how he and Jyn might work through their issues together after the war, with a generous smattering of EU influence throughout. I especially love the way they’re written together in domestic scenes in this series: their issues and foibles are all still there but they’re so happy in each other nonetheless] - Whatever I Do (I Do It To Protect You)  by @callioope (Callioope), T, 62k words [Another look at what might have happened if Lyra had lived to raise Jyn, first within the Partisans and then within the Rebellion, and a beautiful, BEAUTIFUL slow burn relationship between Jyn and Cassian]

- per ardua ad astra by @anghraine (Elizabeth (anghraine)), T, 58k words [I don’t want to give too much away about this fic, but essentially, Cassian, Jyn and Bodhi end up on the Death Star and this is the story of how they manage to survive that and infiltrate one of the most secure parts of the Empire. This is so well written and seems so plausible as a continuation of canon!]

- And The Next by @mienuxbleu (ienablu), T, 52k words [This is essentially Groundhog Day Rogue One style but infinitely, infinitely more heart-breaking! It’s so well thought out and so engaging, and you really really get a fantastic insight in Jyn’s character]

- The World Through a Scope by @ruby-red-inky-blue (guineapiggie), T, 46k words (One of my favourite modern AUs, in which Cassian and Jyn meet in the waiting room of their counselor’s office and are drawn to each other despite their respective issues, before finding out that their lives are far more closely entangled than even they realised. A real gem!]

- The Germans Wore Grey, You Wore Blue by @justkeeponthegrass (randomdreamer01) [This is a collection of WWII AUs that are mostly unrelated, and they are so SO well researched and well written, you really get a sense of the history behind the stories, and the characterisation is always spot on]

- only fools rush in by @andromeda3116 (andromeda3116), T, 36k words [I love, love, LOVE this AU, it’s a modern setting and basically has all of my favourite things rolled up in one: fake relationship, bed-sharing, protectiveness, pining: it’s an absolute delight!]

- The Remembrance of Pain (Time Will Explain) by @operaticspacetrash (Jaded), T, 22k words [I could have chosen literally any story by this author and gushed about for a few paragraphs, she never puts a foot wrong! This particular one is a Persuasion AU set in the Star Wars universe, and it’s brilliant, so well conceived and written and you can really feel the shared history and the pain between Cassian and Jyn]

- the light by @ssimpleandclean (Irelando), E, 71k words [A fabulous post Scarif series that runs through what our favourite crew might have been doing during A New Hope, and then continues to describe their adventures and their coming together as a family long after that, great read!]

List Three (<20,000 Words)

- Talk Tonight by @rapidashpatronus (RapidashPatronus), T, 1213 words [I cannot overstate how much I absolutely love this story. The subject matter is so tough and so important, but the ending is hopeful, and honestly, every time I read it (which is often), I come away crying but uplifted. Everyone should read this one.]

- Counting Weeds by @rapidashpatronus (RapidashPatronus), T, 8021 words, WIP [I said only one per author, but I literally couldn’t chose between this and Talk Tonight, so I’m breaking my own rules, surprise surprise: I adore this story. It’s so original, the characterisation is so great, the OCs are a delight, just...gah, everything! Definitely one to subscribe to!]

- I fought the war (but the war won) by @incognitajones (ephemera), E, 9075 words [Ahhh my favourite AU ever: the MSF AU that I didn’t know I needed until it showed up and now I re-read on a near weekly basis! I can’t describe how well this works, Jyn as a roving war reporter and Cassian as a harried MSF doctor, it honestly has to be read to be believed, and their relationship is just perfection.]

- This Here Now (it’s where we touch down) by @mosylufanfic (mosylu), T, 1772 words [Jyn and Cassian become farmers and put down roots and are happy and this is one of my favourite stories, I always feel warm when I read it]

- the sharp edge of survival by @longclaws (with_the_monsters), T, 3950 words [I think the summary of this fic does it far more justice than I ever could: “They're heroes, now, but the not the type of heroes the Republic wants. Not bright and clean and effortlessly Light. Not able to sit still or give up the fight. The fight built each of them, after all. Made them what they are.“ It’s painful and beautiful and excellently written and you should all read it.]

- where my caution should be by @venusmelody (ivyspinners), T, 1242 words [I don’t want to say too much about this one for fear I’ll give the ending away, but suffice to say it’s 1242 spectacularly written words that will rip your heart out in the best possible way. Bring tissues.]

- the road that sets into the sun by @thegirlwholied (lyin), G, 5190 words [A beautiful story set in the EU, about how the end of the war might have looked for a Cassian and Jyn in that slightly different universe. The ending of this one in particularly is just so hopeful and beautiful!]

- the quiet we hold by @dazy-laze (ithacas), NR, 12228 words [Cassian and Jyn both suffer from PTSD after Rogue One and go somewhere quiet to recover. This is such a lovely story, painful in parts, but in a good way, and watching Cassian and Jyn heal together is a joy.]

- when we were young and crossed the stars by @leralynne (katsumi), G, 4008 [Jyn joins the Rebellion at a much younger age and grows up around Cassian. I love this story so much, it weaves their backstory seamlessly and their relationship is so believable.]

- my knees are cold (running home) by @jynersq (jynersq), T, 7302 words [Cassian and Jyn recover together after Scarif, both physically and mentally. I really love how much they look after each other in this story, warms my heart every time I read it]

- all the rest by tomorrowsrain, T, 8334 words [This fic is the best written aftermath of torture I think I’ve read, it’s heart-breaking and difficult but beautifully written and ultimately hopeful.]

- a person can be a home by @ladytharen (mollivanders), T, 3047 words [A really gorgeous look at Jyn and Cassian’s developing relationship in the aftermath of Scarif, the characters are so perfectly written here and their relationship progresses so naturally, I love it]

- The Last Poem of Jedha by @schweinsty (schweinsty), T, 15486 words [This is actually a Bodhi-centric fic with the Rebelcaptain firmly in the background, but there was no way I could leave it off a rec list because it is AMAZING. I am in awe of the world-building for Jedha, the description of a culture and a way of life and the poetry and literature and everything, it’s just...read it, you will not regret it]

- cast some light by @brynnmclean (brynnmclean), E, 16049, WIP [This verse is spectacularly NSFW in the best possible way, it is hot like BURNING, but also with excellently written character voices and really great interactions, such a favourite of mine!]

- Trading Favours by @mellamymake (caramelle), E, 7206 [Another one for the ‘hot like burning’ club, this is roomates-to-lovers modern AU via friends-with-benefits and I love it, it’s so well written and humourous, always makes me smile!]

And that is it, finally the end of the list! Happy reading! :)

[artificialqueens]

mirror in the sky (thorcid) - featherpluckn

AN: This fic has been sitting half finished in my google docs for a few months. I saw some people requesting some domestic baby fluff and decided to finally finish it up. It is an AU and the guys are married with day jobs.

I also included it in the Three-Word Fic Challenge. The words I chose for this fic are ultimate, bottom, and pure.

Also, if you’ve never heard Landslide, do yourself a favor and check it out.

Happy reading :)

Shane startles awake with a gasp. There are piercing cries coming from the baby monitor perched uncomfortably close to his head. He has to take a few seconds to orient himself. The pull of sleep is way too real.  He almost closes eyes ready to drift back off when the insistent cries start up again.

It is amazing to Shane how little sleep he needs to function.

Six weeks have passed since Shane and Jamin brought Willow home from the hospital. He took two weeks off from teaching to be with his new little family. Two weeks of being scared shitless he was doing everything wrong. Two weeks of learning sleep is never something he will take for granted again. And two weeks of falling in love with Jamin and Willow a little bit more every day.

Ever since Shane and Jamin heard they would for sure be adopting a baby, Jamin began working more and more at home until he was running his graphic design business out of the spare bedroom. So, he is able to care for their little girl during the day. Shane returned to work but his heart is always at home. Teaching music to kids had been his passion and still is.  He still gets excited when a kid who has been fumbling through a difficult passage finally gets their fingering, but he aches to be with the two people who mean the world to him every minute of every day.

Most days Jamin wakes up with Willow for the morning feeding. He makes sure the coffee is started, and then wakes Shane up with a kiss on his forehead and a baby on his chest. Jamin goes to shower and Shane makes the most of this precious time with his sweet girl. He puts Willow on her tummy so she can raise her little head and get strong, and he tickles her belly while she bats at his hair. It is their new routine and it is fucking perfect.

They take turns during the night when Willow wakes. Especially, since they are both trying to be somewhat productive members of society. She is up every few hours and taking every other feeding is a little less draining.

Hearing Willow’s cries increase slightly in volume puts Shane in motion. He moves to get off the bed, but before he can rise he feels a hand weakly grip his wrist.

“Mmmm ‘wake…can get her.”

Shane chuckles softly and leans over, kissing Jamin on the cheek. “You got her last time. Go back to sleep.” Shane takes Jamin turning over and shoving his face back in his pillow as agreement, and walks out of the bedroom.

He pads down the short hallway and opens the door to the nursery. By the light of a glowing turtle, Shane can just make out Willow who has broken her swaddle, and is waving her arms wildly. He makes his way over to the crib and sees her crying face screwed up into infant indignation. They are in so much trouble. She has so much personality already. Shane scoops the infant up and brings her to his chest.

He sticks the pacifier back in her mouth and starts gently rocking back and forth. “Shh- Shhh…Daddy’s here. I’ve got you, little one. Do you have an empty belly?”

Willow’s cries quiet into soft snubs as she stares at her Daddy. “Alright,  let’s get that diaper changed so you can eat.”

Shane lays her carefully on the changing table and says a silent prayer for the day they found sleepers with zippers. Those little snaps on baby clothes are impossible and clearly Satan himself invented them.

Willow doesn’t get clean without a struggle. Kicking limbs and increasingly frantic cries make the diapering process much more time consuming than it should be, but when he finishes he’s proud to say the diaper still has both tabs and her bottom is completely covered.

Shane picks Willow up from the changing table, patting her on the back. She is still crying harder than he can bear, so he starts rocking her once more and sings the first song that comes to mind.

Oh, mirror in the sky

What is love?

Jamin insisted on dancing to “Landslide” at their wedding and of course Shane agreed wholeheartedly. He has always loved the song but looking into Jamin’s eyes an hour after they committed their lives to one another changed its meaning.

It has become more than a song. It has become a feeling. Every time he hears it, his chest fills up with so much love for their life together and what their future may hold. The song has a special place in his heart forever.

More importantly, it seems to calm Willow for the moment.

The little girl roots into the crook of his neck searching for sustenance. Shane will never tire of the little breath she blows against his skin or the whimpering grunts she lets out when she doesn’t find what she seeks. “Come on, sweet girl. Let’s see what we can fix you for a midnight snack.”

Shane makes his way to the kitchen stepping over that one creaky floorboard outside of the bathroom hoping Jamin stayed asleep through the diaper change. Willow stirs in his arms but stays quiet.

“Hold tight, sweet girl. We’re almost there.”

He quickly finds out all of his caution is for nothing. Shane hears Jamin before he sees him and he could kick himself because he must have forgotten to turn off the monitor. Shane can just make out Jamin quietly singing.

But time makes you bolder

Even children get older

And I’m getting older, too

Shane turns the corner and sees Jamin lit by only the light above the stove already shaking up a bottle of formula. His hair is sleep-mussed, and he is barefoot wearing baggy sweatpants slung low on his hips. If this were three months ago, Shane would be climbing him like a tree but at the moment, he can barely find the energy to put a sentence together.

“I thought I left you to your beauty sleep.”

Sticking the bottle in the warmer Jamin turns with that smile. The one that makes Shane’s belly swoop and he smiles back involuntarily.

“How can I sleep when this princess needs me?”

He has never loved Jamin more than he loves him in these moments. He has loved this child without reservation and with absolute ferocity since the moment he laid eyes on her.

Jamin makes his way over to them. He reaches for the whimpering nest of blankets and coos at her, “Is Daddy scratching you with his beard? Does he need to shave? Oh! You are so mad. Shhhh I’ve got you angel and I don’t have a scratchy old chin. No, I don’t.”

Shane giggles and shakes his head because Jamin most certainly does have a scratchy chin. He turns towards the bottle to see if it’s ready but not without seeing his little girl calm down once more and gaze at her Papa in wonder, taking in his every word. Shane is not quite sure what he did to deserve this man and he knows he is lucky.

Lucky to have this man in his life and lucky to have this man in their child’s life.

The warmer beeps and he grabs the bottle, grateful to finally able to ease Willow’s fretful whimpers. When he turns back he stops, breathless.

In the dim light of the kitchen, he can see Jamin’s face which is so very tired but serene. His nose is nuzzled into barely there fair curls and he is breathing in deeply, getting lost in the feel of that pure soul in his arms. Jamin is swaying, singing softly once again.

I took my love, I took it down

I climbed a mountain and I turned around

And if you see my reflection in the snow covered hills

Well the landslide will bring it down

Loathe to ruin the moment but knowing that the comfort Willow found will be fleeting, Shane clears his throat of the sudden lump and whispers, “It’s ready.”

Jamin snaps his head up at his words with a guilty little smile.

“Sorry. I got lost for a minute.”

“It’s easy to do. Let’s take this upstairs and get comfortable.” Shane turns back to their bedroom and Jamin follows with Willow snuggled comfortably into his chest.

Shane knows the drill by now. When they make it back to their bedroom, he sits the bottle on the bedside table and arranges the pillows against the headboard. Then, Shane climbs in followed by Jamin and Willow who are enraptured with each other. He knows their child is too young but he swears he sees her smiling at her Papa. She is smiling at a man who is so full of love it has no choice but to wrap around his loved ones desperately, fiercely, protecting them from the world and anyone who would do them harm.

Hugging them both back to his chest Shane asks “Comfy, babe?”

Jamin turns his face up to Shane’s, kissing his chin “All set.” He looks back down at Willow talking softly, “Aren’t we? Are you ready for your bottle? Let’s eat, huh?”

Shane hands him the bottle and watches in fascination with his chin on Jamin’s shoulder as she latches onto it. Sometimes he still cannot believe it. He cannot believe that this is his daughter and this is his life. “I can’t get enough of her Jamin. She’s perfect.”

“I was just thinking the same thing.”

Shane laughs then “Who wouldn’t?”

Jamin starts singing softly once more as Willow’s eyes begin to flutter and droop closed.

And if you see my reflection in the snow covered hills

Well the landslide will bring it down

Oh, the landslide will bring it down

Shane is so engrossed by how her eyelashes brush her pudgy little cheeks he almost misses Jamin speaking. “My mom used to play that song on our old turn table. She would sing and twirl her scarves around. She had such a lovely voice.”

“Your mom had great taste in music. Work.”

Jamin relaxes further back into Shane’s chest. “I used to do the same thing with all of my little stuffed animals and I would wish for someone to sing it to one day.  We didn’t have much but I always knew my mom loved me, and I always hoped my kids could say the same one day. ”

Shane feels tears hit his arms and he reaches to turn Jamin’s head towards him. He cradles his face and wipes away the wetness he finds there with his thumbs.

“You have nothing to worry about, Jamin. You are the ultimate Papa to Willow, and you do an amazing job of making sure she’s loved.”

Jamin shakes his head a little and smiles at Shane. “I know I’m crying harder now but I promise it’s from happiness.”

“Come here, you big sap.” Shane laughs and kisses Jamin softly on the lips.

Willow makes a noise of protest as all of the jostling finally disturbs her feeding. Jamin pulls away reluctantly. “Sorry, princess. I’ll be quiet now.”

Shane contents himself with soaking in this moment. He knows soon enough Willow won’t need these nighttime feedings. She will struggle to get down from snuggles to walk and play and run. These quiet, stolen times in the middle of the night will be a thing of the past.

He glances down again and sees that not only has Jamin fallen asleep against his chest  but so has Willow, slack-jawed with formula dribbling down her chin. Shane tightens his grip on the both of them slightly and takes a mental snapshot. He never wants to forget the feeling of holding his whole world in his arms all at once.

[mithoen]

More Ageswap AU Stuff Because I Love This AU Except It’s Mischief Trio + Quail Boyfriends Focused

SURPRISE, THERE’S M O R E BECAUSE I’M A SELF INDULGENT FUCK WHO LOVES HER OWN AU’S TOO MUCH

THIS IS BASICALLY JUST A SKYPE CONVERSATION BETWEEN MYSELF AND @sproson-ya​ SO ENJOY

WARNING; SENSITIVE MATERIAL IS DISCUSSED HERE SUCH AS THREATS OF VIOLENCE, ACTUAL DEPICTIONS OF VIOLENCE AND DOMESTIC ABUSE, PLEASE READ WITH CAUTION

Please don’t take any of it too seriously, especially the parts where we’re fuzzy on certain things - yes, they could be researched but at the time it was spur of the moment and this is just a vague concept for something that could happen.

Kyn: HITORI AND KAZOO DON'T GET ALONG WITH THESE THREE, RIGHT?? I said tohri might be friends with them because he's the Nicest but 

Vincent: hitori is a Little "e h " about tohri but Kazuaki probably likes him. xD or at least is not afraid of him when he's alone

Kyn: poor hitori I imagine souma and ryuuji might try to rope him into some pranks sometimes 

hitori: "I-i'm not going to help you guys-" 

ryuuji, on one of hitori's sides, holding hitori's arm in his own: "oh c'monnn, u-zu-ne! you're too stuck up,, being the teachers pet must be boring sometimes, right?" 

souma, on hitori's other side, also holding hitori's arm: "indeed. you should relax sometimes, uzune. research says that a little fun is good for your health."

hitori: "it's not fun if you're hurting people!!" 

souma: "oh?? I don't know, I find it's quite fun to watch nanaki cry while I pull his hair out strand by strand." 

hitori: "gh- don't you dare!" 

souma: "who knows? i guess it's up to you, uzune." 

Vincent: hitori, gives souma his very known sharp-eyed look; "if you even dare to touch him, i will pin you to the wall and Punch out your teeth." meanwhile Kazuaki is probably sitting there nervously and talking to tohri it's really.... easy to win his trust kjsdhvkj 

Kyn: souma: //smiles cruelly// "mm, i'd like to see you try." //tugs on the others arm a little// "i am aspiring to be a doctor,, and i'm not afraid to get dirty. i could dislocate your arm before you even got the chance." 

ryuuji: "isa, reel it in a little." 

souma: ",,,is that a yes or a no, uzune?"

tohri: //sweating and trying to distract kazoo from his friends 'persuasion' tactics// "so!! you say you like to draw, hm?? i have never seen your artwork! artistry is very important to one such as myself, so i'd love to see it sometime!" 

Vincent: Kazuaki; small gasp, "you??? like art too?? do you draw or something else?" suddenly he's very interested and just omg, tohri you actually make him kinda happy how can you be such an asshole. look at this pure golden and freckled Boy... 

Vincent: and hitori ksjhkcj 

Vincent: he'd never agree to it and just protect Kazuaki better or get hurt himself 

Vincent: he aint taking no threats from no one 

Kyn: tohri: //blinks and then flushes, a little embarrassed and a little sad he's tricking this poor Boy// "i,, sculpt, sometimes! and i,,, well, they aren't very good, but i,,,, i draw clothes,,,,, i want to become a fashion designer,,,,,,,," //blinks again and realises what he was saying// "b-bUT ITS NOT LIKE THAT'S IMPORTANT TO ME OR ANYTHING- IT'S JUST A STEPPING STONE IN THE LIFE OF THE GREAT NISHIKIKOUJI TOHRI!!"

Kyn: hitori: "grr,,, i'd never agree to your dumb pranks!! whether or not they're harmless - you're still causing trouble in the school! now get off of me!" //pulls himself out of souma and ryuuji's grip 

souma: "hmph. as usual, you're uncooperative and annoying." //pulls out a scalpel from the inside of his blazer and sneers at hitori// "maybe if we skin you we'll find somebody a little easier to work with on the inside-" 

ryuuji: //holds his arm over souma's chest// "no, isa, leave him be. fight on your own terms, in your own time. if he won't help, we'll just have to make it extra mischievous, right?" 

souma: ",,,of course. fine. but we aren't done here, uzune." 

Vincent: FUCK. FUCK. NOW I JUST IMAGINE HITORI RUNNING AND SEARCHING FOR KAZUAKI. BUT SOUMA AND RYUUJI OF COURSE KNOW WHERE HE AND TOHRI ARE SO THEY FIND THEM SOONER. AND JUST RYUUJI AND SOUMA WALKING UP TO THE TWO OF THEM SOUMA GRINNING LIKE THE EVIL FUCK HE IS AND KAZUAKI JUST "o h no.." probably tries to text hitori quickly but ryuuji snatches his phone away and aa aaaaa aaa 

Kyn: AHAHAHAHAH Y E S. 

kazoo: "p-please don't!! please!! i-i'm sorry!" 

ryuuji: //holding kazoo still by his wrists// "haha! i'm not." 

tohri: ",,,wait- wait, ryuuji, souma - do we have to hurt him?" 

souma: //sorting through his 'equipment', turns his head to look coldly at tohri over his shoulder// "what, have you come to care for him now that we left you alone together for half an hour?" 

tohri: "n-no, i just,,," 

souma: "remember where your loyalties lie, nishikikouji." 

kazoo: "tohri!! tohri, help me please!!" 

tohri: //falls silent, looks away from kazoo with a painful expression// ",,,sorry, nanaki." 

ryuuji: "awright!! what're we gonna do with him, i~sa?" 

souma: "i was thinking of leaving some light scarring along his stomach. perhaps we should sign our names into his skin and let uzune discover them as a present, hm?" 

Vincent: Kazuaki fucking PANICS; "N-no!! please! don't touch me!! don't touch me there - it's inappropriate, please please please-- i'm gonna throw up, please -- ,, please,,, " he's still pretty scared of touch holy shit. and for them to get to his stomach they'd need to undress layers of clothes the boy would be v traumatized in many ways 

Vincent: hITORI RUN!! RUN AND SAVE YOUR BOYFRIEND!! god,, 

Kyn: HITORI'S GONNA H A V E TO FIND THEM AND QUICK BECAUSE SOUMA'S NOT ABOUT TO STOP FOR ANYONE, RYUUJI DOESN'T CARE AND TOHRI'S TOO POWERLESS TO STOP THEM BOTH 

souma, bent over kazoo as he unbuttons the other's shirt: "you're annoying. stop moving. kawara, hold him steadier." 

ryuuji: "hey, it's not as easy as it looks, isa!!" 

kazoo: "no!! get off me!! please- please, stop, please-" 

souma: "annoying. nishikikouji, come here." 

tohri: "wh,,, what? what do you want??" 

souma: //looks around before grabbing a loose brick off the ground and handing it to tohri// "hit him." 

tohri: "what?! I can't-" 

souma: "hit him, nishikikouji. all you have to do is knock him out - or at least give him a concussion. just get him to stop moving." 

tohri: ",,,,,," 

kazoo: //outright crying// "t-t-tohri,,, please,,,, don't,,,,," 

ryuuji: "go on!!" 

tohri: "mmnph. fine, fine... stay still, nanaki, it'll only hurt for a moment,," 

Vincent: Kazuaki; "no, no please i'll hold still please don't hit me. I'll hold still won't tell anyone. please, not the head.." still sobs and tries to hold as still as possible so tohri doesn't smack him over the head 

Vincent: hitori probably,,, wont find him in time,,, they probably arent even in School anymore??? and if he finds them by trying to run in the direction they went in that would take too Long and Kazuaki would be in pain already,,,, 

Vincent: at least hitori would be able to call the Police on them and then catch souma one day off guard and Punch his nose bloody 

Vincent: ryuuji and tohri will get revenge too but a more quiet one that wouldn't be able to be tracked down to him as easily :'D 

Kyn: I WAS HOPING YOU'D MENTION HITORI CALLING THE POLICE 

Kyn: they'd probably find these three before any Actual harm could come to poor, poor kazoo

tohri: "ghhh,,, I can't believe this,,, arrested, again, because of you two and your stupid messing about!!" 

policeman: "shut up. you were obviously going to hit that kid-" 

souma: "let him go, please. I told him to." 

policeman: "you're... isa souma, right? you have a record, boy, why should we trust your word-" 

ryuuji: "no, he's right!! tohri's innocent! please don't get him into trouble." 

policeman: ",,,we'll be investigating into this, but for now you're free to go." 

tohri: "oh, thank god-"

Kyn: ryouta: "ryuuji!!" 

ryuuji: "ah, dad. hi." 

ryouta: "I can't believe you- again? really? we've talked about this! you promised when we made up that you'd stop getting caught up in this sort of thing and focus on your studies!" 

ryuuji: "it's not like i'm doing terrible in school, dad. and we weren't actually going to hurt kazoo - it was just pretend! right, isa?" 

souma: ",,,indeed." 

ryouta: //massages the bridge of his nose// "we're,, talking about this seriously when we get home, ryuuji. come on." 

ryuuji: "oh, looks like i'm getting bailed out. see you tomorrow at school, isa!" 

souma: "bye." 

//RYUUJI AND RYOUTA PASS A VERY ANGRY LOOKING MAN IN A SUIT AS THEY LEAVE// 

ryuuji: ",,,wait. wait, wait-! souma! dad, get off, souma's-" 

ryouta: "??? we're leaving, come on - hey, ryuuji!" 

ryuuji: //arrives back in the holding cells just in time to watch souma's dad hit souma across the face 

Dr. Isa: "you're a disgrace to this family! you have a criminal record!" 

souma: "sorry, father." 

Dr. Isa: "you will hand over all your research and equipment to myself and your mother immediately after getting home, do you hear me? your phone, too." 

souma: ",,,yes, father."

Vincent: YOOOOO HITTING YOUR CHILD IS NOT COOL MAN HE MIGHT BE AN ASSHOLE THAT JUST TRAUMATISED KAZUAKI P BADLY ( good luck being able to snuggle up onto your soft boyfriend ever again hitori ) BUT YOOOOO O O NOT COOL. And that with the police in sight! You're going to get to hear something from them, too :T Guess the police at least sees where the roots lie...,,, Considering that souma is not of age yet and already has a record I'm pretty sure a social worker would visit souma at home and try to at least look around in his environment??? I'm pretty sure they would talk to souma and question his parents too... mmmm 

Vincent: No money would really be able to be enough for souma to stay in that family,, He probably gets in a home for abused children for a while ;w; If he's lucky 

Vincent: If not his dad is mightier and just owns everyone 

Vincent: Which might be p  b ad 

Vincent: I'm basing this off on the German system btw 

Vincent: Idk how it would be in Japan but I can't imagine that it would be much different,, 

Kyn: aaah yeah i was gonna say i imagine souma's family is. Pretty Rich and they're likely to fork out a lot of money to keep souma out of real trouble - and themselves out a lot of trouble for being cruel to him, too 

Kyn: IDK HOW THE POLICE WORK IN JAPAN EITHER BUT IT DOES MAKE SENSE YEAH

Kyn: in any case, souma ends up running away to live with tohri later on s o

Kyn: tohri: "you two are late!! i was getting worried you'd had to spend the night in jai- WHOA SOUMA, WHAT HAPPENED TO YOUR-" 

souma: "i don't want to talk about it." 

ryuuji: ",,,maybe we went overboard this time." 

tohri: "if even you're saying that, i guess we must have done,,, what happened?" 

ryuuji: "his dad came to bail him out." 

tohri: “oh...”

Vincent: O h n o 

Vincent: They better apologise for what they've done qwq Hitori won't show any mercy otherwise, and nageki doesn't need this,,, 

Kyn: souma Might have a bruise on his face but he certainly doesn't have a bruise on his pride 

Kyn: he's not going to apologise for jack shit, ryuuji and tohri are gonna have to defuse the situation for him - or let their friend get what's coming to him

Vincent: Yeah... Hitori.... is more than only angry... he's dead set to see souma bleed because holy shit really anyone else deserved this but not his already anxious boyfriend ; w ; Ryuuji and tohri can talk as much as they want to him but he ain't gonna forgive haha,, 

Kyn: mmmm souma might be prideful but he Knows he goes overboard sometimes and he Knows this time he definitely fucked up so even if he won't apologise, he's not going to fight back against hitori either 

tohri: "what do you mean, you're 'going to go find uzune'?! he's going to kill you, souma!" 

souma: "well. maybe i deserve it." 

ryuuji: "don't say that,, it was all our faults-" 

souma: "no. i'm always dragging you two into my messes. let me deal with it." 

tohri: "now isn't the time to be selfless, you idiot!"

Vincent: SOUMA ARE YOU REALLY SURE BECAUSE WOWIE IF HE WON'T FIGHT BACK THEN HITORI PROBABLY WON'T do as much tbh... he's not as cruel to beat someone who's already on the ground xD 

Vincent: But he sure as hell will lecture him good

Kyn: SOUMA WOULD BE SO CONFUSED 

souma: "wh,, why did you stop?" 

hitori: ",,,why aren't you fighting me?" 

souma: "unimportant-" 

hitori: "its not fair for me to hit you if you aren't going to hit me back. i'm not you." 

souma: ",,,alright, i deserve that, but- you've chosen the worst time to be kindhearted, uzune, as always." 

Vincent: Hitori; "well then. Glad that I didn't need to punch your lights out first to calm you down. What you did to kazu was beyond terrible and your understanding I assume. It's not only that you scared him... He always had a paranoia of people touching him. I don't know if this even gets in your stupid overly spoiled head, but he's even more terrified now. I can't even hug him anymore... speaking of holding him... Do you understand?” //actually cries a little because of his soft boyfriend Souma if didnt noticed earlier probably noticed now that Hito and kazu have a closer relationship than just friends :'D

Kyn: YEAH HE'S A LITTLE TOO DENSE TO NOTICE THAT THEY WERE IN A RELATIONSHIP, TBH 

Kyn: dense or just doesn't care, at any rate 

souma: ",,,i'm not going to apologise because frankly, I couldn't give two shits about how nanaki feels. let him be afraid, see if I care. i'm not here for a lecture, uzune - are you going to hit me or not?" 

Vincent: Hitori; "...I didn't expect any different from the son of the Isas." he'd stand up, blow his knuckles a little since they were all red from the first punch he used on souma to knock him of his feet 

Vincent: Kinda just dusts himself off and wipes his tears away "I won't dirty my hands on scum like you. You don't even deserve being beaten. I thought you were just one of these kids but.. Kids like you grow up to end up with a bullet in their head." And he just fucking leaves because NOT EVEN WORTH IT 

Vincent: He thought he could beat some sense in him?? He uses fits and words but like wowie if souma doesn't even react to that he'd just see him a lost cause,,,

Kyn: souma: //blinks, left lying on the ground in surprise. sits up and puts a hand to his chest, expression twisting into a small frown// "son,, of the,,,,," //closes his eyes// ",,that's it?" //gets to his feet unsteadily, face half anger and half panic// "that's it?! you can't just walk away,  uzune! you can't- ,,aren't you angry?! don't you want to hit me?? I don't,, I don't understand, I don't,,," //puts his hand to his cheek where the bruise is// ",,being hurt,, is all i'm good for,,, I deserve it,," 

Vincent: Hitori; stops and narrows his eyes at souma. feels a Little weird Hearing that. "Listen. I dont know what your parents taught you or what bullshit you're into. Maybe you're just getting off out of this. But i dont enjoy beating People up or being in rage. and what's even the Point if you don't get it? you'll learn that Actions have far more consequences than just a bloody nose soon enough... but i don't want to be the one to grant you that favour. now fuck off, isa. and dont let me see you anytime soon." 

Kyn: souma: //wraps an arm around himself to grip at the other arm, eyes downturned as hitori walks off and mouth twisted into a frown// ",,,,,"

tohri: "!!!! souma!! you're back!! thank god, I thought uzune was going to murder you!" 

souma: ",,,as did I. I was sorely disappointed." 

ryuuji: "at least you're okay!! come over here and play cards with us!!" 

souma: //blinks before shaking his head with a sigh, smiling lightly// "alright. what're we playing?" 

Kyn: tohri and ryuuji understand souma better than souma understands himself :'D in any case hitori's words definite made him feel something 

Kyn: he's probably the reason why souma runs away, actually he realises being stuck with his shitty parents is only going to make him just like them and while he's okay with being a dick he doesn't want to be a rich asshole who doesn't care about anyone because he does care about his friends 

Vincent: bless hitori but..... god when he Comes home though hitori would have such a breakdown because "Kazuaki i am sorry that i couldnt do more.... i love you so much but i couldnt do anything...." what do you even do when you actually have morals?? :'D 

Kyn: WOULD HITORI EVEN TELL NAGEKI ANY OF WHAT HAPPENED?? LIKE. HE'D CERTAINLY BE NOTIFIED BY KAZOO'S PARENTS THAT HE WAS PROBABLY ESCORTED HOME BY THE POLICE,,, AND HE'D DEFINITELY NOTICE KAZOO'S RECLUSIVE ATTITUDE 

Vincent: OF COURSE NAGEKI WOULD KNOW EVERYTHING 

Vincent: Kazuaki is more at hitori's place than he is at his home :'D 

Vincent: and i am p sure Kazuaki sat nervously with nageki in the kitchen when hitori came back 

Kyn: you know who'd be even angrier at souma than hitori 

Kyn: n a g e k i 

Vincent: OH B O Y 

Kyn: he'd be fucking livid 

Kyn: nevermind himself burning to death, he'd set souma alight

Vincent: NAGEKI HOLY FUCK 

Vincent: I THOUGHT HE'D BE SOMEWHAT PROUD THAT HITORI DIDNT BEAT THE SHIT OUT OF SOUMA 

Vincent: B UT OK AY :'D 

Kyn: LMAOOO oh no he'd be very proud that hitori didn't resort to violence 

Kyn: because it means he can do it himself 

Kyn: doesn't help that he's the school librarian 

Vincent: NAGEKI DONT BEAT UP KIDS 

Vincent: YOU NEED THIS JOB 

Kyn: ryuuji: "okay!! lets go get those books out of the library that mr. shirogane told us to get!" 

tohri: "you know, I've always wondered what mr. fujishiro and mr. shirogane's relationship was,,," 

souma: "probably unimportant. don't get excited, nishikikouji." 

ryuuji: "good afternoon, mr. fujishiro!!" 

nageki: "...mr. kawara. mr. nishikikouji.... mr. isa." 

souma: ",,,,i get the distinct feeling,,,, that i'm not welcome here right now,,,," 

nageki: "no. no you aren't. in fact, you aren't welcome here at all." 

tohri: "um-" 

nageki: "surely you're rich enough to just buy the books you want, right, mr. isa? get out. don't come back." 

souma: ",,,,,,yes, sir. sorry, sir." 

Vincent: THAT'S FUCKING LIT NAGEKI 

Vincent: SOUMA PROABLY FEELS THE RELATION BETWEEN NAGEKI AND HITORI :'D

Kyn: EVERYONE KNOWS THEY'RE RELATED, THEY DON'T EXACTLY HIDE IT 

Kyn: souma didn't think about it too much though 

Kyn: nageki's always been a quiet but kind teacher, he didn't think the other could get so angry

ryuuji: ",,,isa, you oka-?" 

souma: "don't bother, kawara. i deserve it, so it's fine." 

tohri: "you keep saying that, but really,,," 

Vincent: no no i know that everyone knows it but like SOUMA ACTUALLY FELT IT because that was very hitori of nageki :'D

VIncent: ryuuji; "insane idea; but what about you try to apologise for a Change?"

souma; "insane idea indeed" 

Kyn: LMAOOOO

Kyn: they're Brothers, alright

Kyn: i think after running away souma might be inspired to apologise on his own terms directly to kazoo 

Vincent: wowie good luck Kazuaki will start crying when he only sees souma getting Close to him 

Kyn: LMAO WHOOPS 

souma: ",,,,!!! um." //swallows// "er,, n-nanaki, um,,,, uh,," 

Vincent: kazuaki; Looks around for hitori,, takes out his phone in a hurry, Drops it, kneels down it pick it up, cries more "i swear i didnt tell anyone-- they all found it out on their own-- please dont " 

Kyn: souma: ",,,,,i did this to you. i made you like this. i'm,,, i'm so sorry. i'm so, so sorry. you don't deserve to cry like that- because of,, because of me. i understand if you can't forgive me, i'm just- i'm sorry."

Vincent: kazuaki; blinks a few times, stares up at him, just hiccups, "wh-.... i-is... this some k-Kind of joke... " picks up his phone, stands up and presses his Hands against his chest "... i... didnt know you c-could feel regret.... y-you arent lying right?..." 

Kyn: souma: "no, i'm,,, I'm not lying. you have every right to be suspicious of course but - no, i mean it. i never liked uzune and he certainly doesn't like me, but you didn't deserve to be hurt like you were because i'm a petty asshole, so. i'm sorry. and i say that with all the compassion, for what little of it that i have, left in my heart." 

Vincent: kazuaki; Looks around again, just to make sure that there is no one to just kinda grab him and hold him "ah.... mm... - then I am.. g-glad i... i guess i can accept your apology but uhm... please dont mess with hitori like this anymore.... h-he cares a lot and... he really doesnt deserve to be heartbroken like this... he already worries so much about his brother.... ... i apologise that he had to beat you up because i couldnt protect myself..."

Vincent: Baby kazoo is just too pure and naivee 

Kyn: souma: //squints at kazoo, irritation slowly growing on his face// "we haven't spoken in quite a while now, so I think I forgot the reason why I never liked you - but i'm beginning to remember. you're weak. pathetic. stand up for yourself more, nanaki, stop letting uzune fight your battles - and stop worrying about him over yourself! I'm here apologising to you, - you are the one I held a knife to, you are the one who has spent the last few months in constant fear of me. focus on your own feelings for once, not uzune's!" 

Vincent: kazuaki; seems to be quite surprised at the tone of voice. weak? yup.. pathetic? yup yup, he knew all of that,, ".. i am sorry- I ... uh... i know but i uh... can't really uhm... i dont know what to say........" 

Kyn: souma: //sighs// "ugh, I don't know why I bother with either you or him. I came here to do what I felt I was needed of me, and I have completed that task. Goodbye, Nanaki. See you in school." 

Vincent: that Feeling when you wanna say something but you are still too scared of the Person :'D 

Vincent: sorry souma there is nothing much to dooo 

Kyn: ka z o o he's le a v I n g say somethinnnnng 

Vincent: but kazuaki thinks now that you didnt actually m e an i t 

Vincent: WHAT SHOULD HE SAY HE'S AFRAID THAT HE'LL REGRET I T 

Kyn: LMAO SOUMA STOP BEING SO COARSE YOU GAVE OFF THE WRONG IMPRESSION AGAIN 

Vincent: kazuaki; "teachers always force their students to apologise to the Person they bullied but the bully never means it. it makes us only more scared that well see something worse coming because of the humiliation the bully went through.... " 

Vincent: poor kazuaki proably gets bullied constantly and he doesnt know how to fi g ht it 

Vincent: he tried talking back but that only made it worse probably because he never knows what to say :'D 

Kyn: souma: //pauses, his back to kazoo// ",,,I do mean it, but I suppose if my words aren't enough proof for you, then... if you continue to have bullying issues with other students, you may come to me if you so wish. I can easily make those issues... Disappear. Or worse. It's up to you, of course, but it is a very real offer. I do not provide services for just anyone and I would like it if you believe me when I apologise, considering how you are literally the first person I have ever apologised to in my life, if you're willing to believe that as well."

Vincent: kazuaki; "THAT'S EVEN WORSE! Why would you even offer to hurt others?? you hurt me and you're sorry.... ok ay,,, i believe you then... y-you just sounded less.... like you really meant it... but why would you hurt others? Hitori... talks to them and they stop... sometimes tease me about it.... but it's alright ut why would you...... do worse....... that's terrible?...... did,, did you really try to kill me back then, too?...."

Kyn: souma: "I wasn't trying to kill you, Nanaki. just damage. hurt. scar. those sorts of things. even if the blade never touched you in the end, I suppose I managed to scar you in a worse way. as for why..." //goes quiet for a second// "it's all I know how to do."

Vincent: kazuaki; "huh.... that's actually... pretty sad... aren't uhm... your friends helping you?..... i mean haha... th-they do ... but i mean.... are they like that too?.... do you maye want to hang out with me and hitori then? he's very smart and nice! he'll forgive you! he knows a lot of things..... uh.... s-sorry I uhm..... anyway I forgive you........" //reaches out his Hand to shake souma's

Kyn: souma: //blinks in surprise// ",,,oh." //hesitates for a moment, hand half outstretched before accepting kazuaki's awkwardly, shaking it slowly as if unsure about what he's doing before letting go and staring at his own hand for a few moments// ",,,uh, what? Hitori? Uzune? N,, no, I doubt that he'd want me around. he told me as much. ,,,thank you for the offer, however. and thank you for accepting my apology. as for kawara and nishikikouji... no, they aren't much like myself. kawara probably has his own issues, but they aren't much like my own. nishikikouji is a very well-rounded individual. he's sorry too, by the way - he was very distressed afterward about almost hurting you - although I suppose you'd rather hear that from his own mouth."

Vincent: kazuaki; "hito! isa apologised to me!" 

hitori; "???? HE DID WHAT? you didn't accept it did you -" 

kazuaki; 

Hitori; 

kazuaki; "... i think we are friends now" 

hitori; "kazu, oh my god,,, i love you but this is too much even for you...."

Kyn: SOUMA WOULD AGGRESSIVELY TRY TO AVOID BOTH HITORI AND NAGEKI UNTIL THE END OF TIME TBH 

souma: //returns to the other two, expression confused// ",,,," 

tohri: "you're back!!" 

ryuuji: "how'd it go?? did he say you guys were good now??" 

souma: "I,,, believe that I have managed to,,, befriend nanaki, although I am unsure as to how I accomplished this." 

ryuuji: "ah!! we've been replaced, nishikikouji!" 

tohri: "oh well. didn't really see the appeal in isa souma's friendship, anyway." 

souma: "wh- hey!" 

tohri: "i'm kidding!!" 

souma: //grumbles// "i'd never,,, replace you both,,, you are my,,, most important people,,," 

ryuuji: "wow, that was mushy!! come here and let me hug you!" 

souma: "no- get off-!!" 

tohri: "too late!!" 

Vincent: GOOD 

Vincent: VERY N I CE 

Vincent: GET SANDWICHED SOUMA 

Kyn: souma loves his friends and his friends love him and each other 

Kyn: they're very gay tbh 

Kyn: people Suspect things but they're too afraid of incurring mischief wrath to say anything 

Kyn: they aren't dating tho

Kyn: yet, anyway

[puddingcatbeans]

fic rec days; hq edition.

i’m terrible at these things bc i kind of want to just slap all almost-300 of my ao3 bookmarks here but that’s cheating. i also feel like i haven’t read hq fics in so long omg, gotta rectify that. meanwhile, i hope you enjoy these works if you haven’t read them already, and if you have, i hope you let the writers know! 

under the cut, in no particular order, some hq fics i definitely rec!!

It’s Always You by @icespyders | bokuaka, rated g, college au

Akaashi meets a stranger at the school library. And then meets him again. (But it's only a coincidence.) And again. (But that's a coincidence, too. It has to be.) But as their paths keep crossing in the strangest ways, Akaashi has to wonder if it could mean something more. And, more importantly, if he wants it to.

// everyone knows i’m a sucker for college AUs but this 14k+ journey of wonderful characterization, the dumb stressfulness of college life and small pockets of optimism before you have to face the real world, the deliciously slow burn of their relationship... i read this in one go, and you should, too.

the way you look at me by ThinkingCAPSLOCK / @mocaw | bokuaka, rated T, pro volleyball au

Bokuto sees him every day, every commute, at the final train. The stranger he only knows as Train Guy. Wrapped in coats, mystery, and distance - that is, until Bokuto breaks their familiar silence. He struggles with the hardest part of befriending someone he thinks he already knows: taking a step back to reevaluate all his assumptions. He finds the easiest part is getting to learn about Train Guy all over again.

// the characterisation is!! so!! good!! not yet completed but every chapter has me curious about more development. i love the insight to bokuto as a person, as someone independent and surrounded with friends and teammates, and seeing akaashi through bokuto’s eyes is such a quiet, poetic thing.

another sunny day by @museicaliteacup | fukurodani, gen, canon-verse

Fukurodani loses at Nationals. No one on the team handles it very well. Konoha is no exception.

// i think this is one of the first fics that made me fall in love with the owl team. it’s sad, it’s angst, but the undeniable feeling of team togetherness is so warm. this will always be one of those fics i keep thinking back to, just because it impacted me so emotionally the first time i read it.

preferably forever by @risquetendencies | bokuaka, explicit, established relationship

Bokuto is more than a little excited when, breaking from their usual traditions, he and Akaashi go away on vacation for Christmas. It's sure to be relaxing, but then there's also the Christmas presents. Even though he's sure he's bought the best gift, he can't help but wonder what he might be getting in return.

// i’m always down for domesticity between these two but this fic made me tear up more than once, but in all the right ways. the characterisation makes me smile, bokuto is so vivid, their interactions with each other so natural i can’t help be jealous, just a little. this was such a joy to read, i’m sure you’ll fall in love, too.

Character Development by @silvercistern | bokuaka, rated T, fake relationship au

"That’s some kinda gratitude. I get the ideal guy to take you to prom, and you act like he's not even here? What happened to my painfully polite little brother?" "I doubt I’d let him take me to the hospital if I were bleeding to death."

Keiji needs a date. Bokuto needs dating lessons. Nothing could possibly go wrong.

// i’ve seen everyone rec this but i just had to bc holy shit i had a riot reading this. akaashi’s characterisation is so interesting? like i was deeply invested from the first few paragraphs, i’ve never wanted to root for someone as much as i wanted to smack them on the head. i love ensemble cast making cameos, and watching bokuto and akaashi slowly grow together in one of the best fic tropes is so. much. fun.

Connected by Tsucchi | ennotana, mature, space au

"It wasn't supposed to happen to him. He wasn't supposed to be Connected to anyone, nevermind this jerk he wanted nothing more to do with. He was supposed to work for his pardon, alone, and then start over - have a normal, peaceful life, with no one inexplicably tied to his fate."

Karasuno Operations always had unconventional methods, but this special tactics unit they've formed beat the rest. The ship full of eccentrics was intended to take on minor covert missions around the star system in the military's place, but instead they got caught up in grander schemes they never expected. And stuck in the middle are two men who don't see eye to eye, bound by a natural phenomena and forced to work together.

// this author singlehandedly converted me to this ship?? but seriously, this fic has been an emotional rollercoaster. the team feels is still there, the banter, the action and excitement, the character development and relationship growth, the mystery and slowly revealed character roles, and the world-building. holy shit the world-building. i’m still in awe, tbh.

smells like air salonpas by psidn | karasuno first years, rated T, canon-compliant

The Karasuno first years develop some new hobbies and strengthen their friendships.

// i loooove fics starring the karasuno first years friendship. and this fic does it in such a charming, fun way. i love the support that are shown in different ways, the dumb dweebness that comes with teenagerdom, the colourful days spent with these friends, and natsu appears? what more could you want.

it’s like the hunger games, but better | seijoh, gen, paintball

“Kindaichi,” Hanamaki laughs, striding across the room to pull him into a tight hug. “Kindaichi Yutaro you son of a bitch, I thought you were dead.” Kindaichi blinks, glancing to his left to see Kunimi - sitting crossed legged on a table next to a very sweaty looking Watari - looking just as confused as he feels. “Has— Has everyone lost their minds? It’s just a game of paintball.” “Just a game of paintball?” Hanamaki parrots, eyes widening as he takes another step forwards until they’re standing practically nose to nose. “Kindaichi, Kindaichi, my poor naive Kindaichi. This is more than just a game.” Kindaichi frowns. “It...is?” “Kindaichi,” Oikawa says sharply, shoving Hanamaki out of the way so he can grasp Kindaichi tightly by the shoulders. “This is a matter of life or death.” “I mean, I don’t think it’s really tha—” “Life or death,” Oikawa, Hanamaki, Matsukawa and Iwaizumi say loudly in unison.

// if you somehow haven’t read this yet, go read it immediately. especially if you’re having a bad day. i lost count how many times i’ve read this, but every single time i burst out laughing so hard it takes me a second to remember how to breathe. the memes. the shenanigans. the seijoh gang. the drama queens. this fic is fucking gold, i tell you.

i’m a house with no windows, you’re the flowers on the front porch by miracleboysatori / @tendouaf | ushiten, explicit, growing up together

Wakatoshi likes absolutes. He likes the idea of something being unchangeable, immovable, because he doesn’t have to worry needlessly about it. He can focus his energy on other, more important things. And among the absolutes he feels in his life, his bond with Satori is one of them. (aka: a fic focusing on ushiten's development from childhood through adulthood that no one really asked for but I felt an extremely strong urge to write anyway)

// i really, really love the characterisation of ushijima and tendou, and then the rest of the shiratorizawa team. i’m so very weak for childhood friends, and this fic follows them growing up together and into each other, and it warms my heart how far they’ve come and how far they can still go.

Put All Your Fears to Bed by chromyrose / @zahhaked | bokuaka, rated T, fluff without plot

Sometimes Bokuto needs solid reassurance; Akaashi is always willing to give him that and more.

// i find myself revisiting this fic sometimes, just because of how soft and warm and, idk, safe? the fic feels to me. bokuto’s mental state etc is such an important thing to me, and i love how these two are portrayed here, the closeness, the comfort. 

Under the Stars by writinghomunculus / @hanavmaki | kyouhaba, rated g

Hands dance along his back, and Kyoutani feels his skin catch on fire.

// this fic is lovely in the writing style itself, the snapshot moments between them, and the vivid sensory details. i’m personally weak to small touches of physical intimacy, and this fic paints kyoutani in such a gentle way, it really soothes my heart, because i know that everything will be okay.

myth au (series) by ilgaksu | levyaku, bokuaka, kuroken, rated T

// these are hauntingly poetic retellings of greek myths, starring our volleyfaves, and each one breaks my heart over twice. i’m in love with the writing, and even though greek myths don’t usually end well, the heartache is worth every word.

The Feeling in Our Chests by kiyala | kuroken, rated g, established relationship

Kuroo is in love. Luckily for him, Kenma is too.

// look at these two, being all gross and in love. i love how absolutely easy it is for them, the casual intimacy, the familiarity. this fic was so sweet, it was like breathing in deeply and then exhaling slowly after a long day.

Purcell by carriecmoney / @carriecmoney | iwaoi, rated T, college au

Tooru's got a busy semester lined up, so he shouldn't have time to worry about one irritating classmate following him around. And yet...

// the banter and frankly, ridiculous sexual tension between iwaizumi and oikawa here is hilarious. i love watching them bicker, and this author’s characterisation of them is always on point and highly enjoyable. i’ve reread this series so many times, and each time i find myself with a smile on my face. what are you waiting for?

tell me i’m lying by seconddaysea / @heroicsx | kagehina, gen

// this fic explores genderfluild kageyama in such a sweet, gentle way, i swear i was brought to tears. i love how supportive and sunshine hinata still is, how they fumble, but it’s okay. he’ll be alright. they’ll be alright.

salt in the wound by celestialfics / @tadachans | tsukkiyama, rated T

Tadashi’s always been drawn to traditionally feminine things, but he doesn’t think that means he’s a girl. He certainly doesn’t feel like he’s a boy, either, but to be something entirely different and new is a bit scary and hard to handle.

// this fic explores nonbinary yamaguchi and i love how strong yamaguchi is. he grows into himself. and his friendship with hinata is just great, and i love the portrayal of his and tsukki’s relationship. this fic both made me cry and made me laugh, and i’m sure you’ll enjoy it, too.

The Vanishing Castle by SilentNorth | bokuaka, rated g, howl’s moving castle au

Akaashi tells himself that he's perfectly content with his life. And he is. Probably. But somehow he attracts the attention of some sorcerers. Not his fault. And winds up cursed. Also not his fault. And finds himself in the middle of a war he has no business being part of. What exactly did he do to deserve this again? In order to go back to any sort of normalcy, Akaashi will have to turn to magic if he's to have any hope of breaking this curse. And the Vanishing Castle is one place to start.

// if you’re a fan of howl’s moving castle, you’ll fall in love with the rich worldbuilding and romance of magic in this fic. akaashi’s stubborn nature and his quiet strength is so prominent here, bokuto is as enigmatic and captivating as usual, and it’s just so easy to lose yourself in this au. it’s just breathtaking, honestly.

This Floating World by lowermiddlechild / @bicyclestandard | daisuga and more, explicit, modern fantasy au

Being a Dream Doctor isn't the easiest job Suga's ever had but after six years, he usually knows what to expect. That is until the day comes when he lands in a dream, ready to fight off nightmares, only to be shoved out of it a moment later. With one of his closest friends, Oikawa, avoiding him and his second closest friend, Kenma, avoiding his own problems, it looks like it'll be up Suga to figure out what exactly is going on.

// i’m a little behind on this fic but nevertheless it never fails to excite me when i see an update. the whole cast is there, the character interactions are refreshing, the magic is unsettling yet fascinating, the worldbuilding is definitely intriguing. i’m always on the edge of my seat wondering, what’s next?

... i’m gonna stop there for now, but know that the hq fandom produces some insanely great works. pls let your fave authors know you love them! thanks for sticking through with my babbling. ‘til next time, i guess!