#i love tchotchkes but they need to mean something

[90stvqueen]

I told my mom I want the Buffy box set on DVD for Christmas or my birthday and she was like "can't I spread it out over a few years? Just give you what I find at garage sales each year until you have the full set?" First of all I have never seen BtVS DVDs at a garage sale, second of all I know she won't be able to keep track of what she got me over the course of several years, and third of all fuck it I'll just buy them myself

[stevetonyweekly]

SteveTony Weekly - September 22 - Week 38

Hi, friends!! I hope you’re having a good week and reading lots of excellent things. Quick note that MTH is back! So if that’s your jam, sign up as a creator, or get ready for auction week coming at the end of next month! Ok, here we go with this week’s recs: 

rutted old road by meidui

It’s his loneliness screaming, out here in the mountains where nobody else is, begging to know—are you like me?

my thoughts: i didn’t know that this was @meidui’s work when I started reading it, which was very late at night and very very silly of me. It’s all the things I love about her stories, angsty and sweet and lyrically gorgeous. Read it. 

Buried by NotEvenCloseToStraight

When Howard Stark demands Tony work at a dig site in S.America one summer to "build character" and "learn about life", Tony is furious.

But then he meets soldier/archeologist Steve and falls in love with blue eyes and a perfect smile. Just as they are ready to move forward together, Steve leaves abruptly with no explanation and breaks Tonys heart.

Ten years later, Tony stumbles across the file for the old dig site. He's determined to visit and shut it down, but discovers that instead of a village, the dig has unconvered a temple and actually needs MORE money to stay open. A security team is hired to protect the staff and the artifacts they find, and Tony comes face to face with Steve Rogers all over again– except Steve is bearded and BIGGER and way more dangerous than he used to be...And Tony likes it.

When the camp is attacked, Steve jumps into action, snatching Tony and running into the jungle to escape and work their way towards safety.

But long days and nights together bring back old feelings, and one day Steve takes a risk and asks Tony to give them another chance.

Will Tony say yes? Or is his heart buried too far for the soldier-turned- archaeologist-turned-mercenary to find it?

my thoughts: i’ve read this before but I’m a sucker for trapped together life or death situations, and NCTS does it beautifully. 

The Tchotchke Cha Cha by Arukou 

What started off as one impulse buy souvenir snowballs into a constant flow of knickknacks from all over the world, and Steve is starting to wonder if it's more than just Tony being nice.

my thoughts: tony showing affection through random gifts is never not gonna hit. Steve being sweetly besotted and just a tiny bit jealous? Perfection. 

You and Me and Him by navaan for magicasen

If you live in the same house, it’s really hard to keep your secrets. Especially if you are good friends. He doesn’t mean to watch as closely as he does, but it’s obvious to Steve that Tony and Iron Man are in a relationship. Right?

my thoughts: identity porn!!! Who doesn’t love it. 

Dancing With Your Ghost by LunaStories

Tony never thought he'd be here, getting his wings groomed by Captain America of all people. It was too intimate, but Steve had offered and he was too weak to resist.

my thoughts: grooming as caretaking and steve neglecting himself and taking care of tony? Perfect. 

you're a bandit like me by Areiton

He feels, sometimes, like a junkie, waiting for the needle to slide in, for the poison to hit his veins, and then--

The portal clears, and Tony grins up, laughing at something Steve can't see, and the air rushes out of him.

Staring at his husband, a version of him--Earth 21982, he reads absently--Steve feels almost lightheaded with relief, and he whispers, "Hey, sweetheart."

my thoughts: a little morally grey Steve and grief? Sounds just about right. 

[malwaredykes]

To: LUCKY 38 PRESIDENTIAL SUITE TERMINAL

From: Leigh Stasik

Subject: BIG DAMN BUGS

Hi there everybody!

So, it's day 5, and Joshua Graham continues to get on my nerves. I've received a lot of clear signals that the feeling is, of course, mutual. I don't think he's very happy about what I've been doing—or, more accurately, what I haven't been doing. Because he really, really wants to put me to work, in the sense that I'm to run errands for him, and I don't wanna do that. He doesn't agree to help me find a way back home, though, until I help him resolve his business. This, indeed, is a very unsatisfactory situation, as I am essentially being held hostage by the man, and I'm not pleased about him trying to act all kind and compassionate about it. I think he thinks he's doing me a great favor by “humoring” my “condition” (hahaha!) insofar as he hasn't gotten outwardly mean or violent about it. He's a hateful little man, quite homogeneously so with the Legion past of his that he claims he has long since abandoned and healed from. I in turn feel rather hateful whenever I have to listen to him go on and on about the love burning within and without him… Love for what? Vapid goof. Disgusting. I'd mess with him more, but I don't want to upset people here. But oh, how I want to mess with him. At least I know that if he tries to harm me, he won't last very long. I sure do love to hurt those who think themselves indestructible. Am I right? Who's with me?

I went out into the valley with Waking Cloud today, to disarm some traps set up by the White Legs on one of the bridges. She's so sweet! Not going to lie, I'm still a little surprised I managed to make friends here; it's not like I was going out of my way, as I had my own tasks to tend to, and didn't want to bother anyone.

But, anyway. Around noon the sun got reeeeaally harsh, so we decided to sit in the shade for a little while, right by the river, dipping our legs in the water. There's something about the smell of fresh flowing water, right above its surface, when the sun and the heat pull vapor out of it. We talked about a bunch of things. I think I've mentioned this already, but she's a midwife; we discuss medicine a lot, which is fun. She's taught me a lot about local herbs, their properties, and how to get the best results when preparing them. I told her about my hopes for cultivating some of Zion's plants and fungi back in the Mojave. In the end, she asked if perhaps I could stay in Zion. Gosh… What a touching suggestion. But I have family at home! I've got a dog and an eyebot to put through college! But I will return one day, I'm sure. I hope so. Maybe any of y'all wish to come along?

Soooo… We pressed onwards and then I saw them. A small pack of cazadores, nothing unusual for me, though their wings had a yellow tint to it, much paler than the bright orange I'm used to. Cloud was shocked by my nonchalant reaction, how I just pulled out my rifle and got ready to dispatch the creatures if needed, and I didn't understand until one got a little closer. That thing was huge! At least twice the size of the cazadores you'd see in the Mojave! And its chitin was a lot thicker, so it didn't go down with one or two shots. That was crazy. We did manage to hunt down a few, and the two that remained fled. Upon closer inspection, everything about these cazadores was bigger and more messed up. The stinger, the poison glands… Geeze. I wonder if the increased size comes from better air quality. Higher oxygen levels in the atmosphere did cause bugs to evolve larger in prehistoric times. I kinda want to try and make turbo out of these, but I don't think that's wise. I don't have the proper equipment with me to test the precise contents of this venom, and I can't exactly do a taste test. Oh well.

Ronnie-honey, aside from the surprise gift I can't wait to show you, I have a few mechanical tchotchkes for you to take a look at when I get back. You might be able to make sense of them, because I sure can't. I pulled one of them out of this airplane wreck I stumbled across. Well, you'll see.

Raul, Cloud gave me this recipe for agave candy that she makes for her kids. It takes time to prepare, but it's genius. I am so making it for you. And that's final. No ifs or buts. I mean, I'm gonna make it for everyone, but especially you.

Anyway. I need to get a good night's sleep this time. So, write to you later! Love you all! Take care!

Leigh

[pwnyta]

Now that im done with my GI dailies...

ROUND 2 of the BNHA award show starts!

The award for QUICKEST YET BADDEST ENTRANCE AND EXIT goes to...

Star!

Damn she was a bad bitch....

------

Award for I DONT BELIEVE THAT MAN HAS EVER BEEN TO MEDICAL SCHOOL goes to....

ITS A TIE!!!

JEANIST AND WHATS-HIS-FACE!

Ok they can preform open heart surgery? Sure...

-----

Award for BIGGEST ASSPULL goes to...

ANOTHER TIE AND WELCOME BACK

BEST JEANIST & SERIOUSLY I CANT REMEMBER HIS NAME FOR THE LIFE OF ME

AND!!! ERI!!!

Damn this was dumb as hell....

----

Award for MOST DISAPPOINTING COME BACK goes to...

MIRIO!

...off-screen.... girl... Mirio I love you so much theres no way you should be this lame...

------

Award for SERIOUSLY WHY THE FUCK WAS THIS GUY ADDED? IT HAD LIKE NO SATISFYING PART IN THE STORY.... goes to....

KUROGIRI!

Kurogiri you were so intriguing before Hori made you a zombie of Aizawas friend he just randomly added...

-----

The award for MAKING ME THINK OF THE WEATHER EPISODE FROM UNHHHHH goes to....

...??? HER!!!!

HELLLOOOO WERE HAVING WEATHER~~~~

-----

Award for MOST WASTED STORY POTENTIAL IN MAYBE ALL OF MANGA HISTORY goes to....

Mutant bigotry!!!

Really Hori your bringing this up now? To try and make Spinners random character turn understandable? Weve had mutant characters the ENTIRE GOD DAMN TIME HORI!!! PRO HEROES! STUDENTS! RANDOM BG CHARACTERS! YOURE BRINGING THIS UP NOW!? TOKOYAMI ALMOST KILLED SOME OF HIS CLASSMATES!!!! YOU THINK BIGOTS WOULDNT HAVE SOMETHING TO SAY ABOUT IT!? WHAT A TOOTHLESS TONE-DEAF RACISM ALLEGORY!! HOLY SHIT HORI IM SO PISSED ABOUT THIS YOU CANT EVEN IMAGINE.

------

Award for MOST DRAWN OUT NOT-DEAD REVEAL goes to...

BAKUGO

I mean obviously.... You know letting him actually have some smooth character development woulda been too hard for Hori...

----

Award for HOLY SHIT THE 'CEST SHIPPERS ARE GONNA LOVE THIS SHIT goes to....

ITS A TIE!!!! TWINSIES!!!

Endeavor/Dabi

AND!!!

THE SHIGARAKIS!

...Yall can get mad at me for this one... You know I aint wrong...

-----

Award for MOST UNHINGED YET SELFLESS ROMANTIC SACRIFICE goes to....

STAIN!!!!

Seriously Im in tears... how did this happen...

----

Award for THE MOST POINTLESS FACE HEAL FACE TURN IN HISTORY goes to....

....HER!

??? Seriously you got pissed about killing villains so you started killing heroes even a teenage boy? Thats so fucking stupid girl....fuckin WHAT?

-----

Award for I DONT CARE WHAT ANYONE SAYS YOURE AN UNDERRATED TOP TIER G AND YOU DESERVE AN AWARD goes to...

MT LADY!!!

DAMN SHES FUCKING COOL! NEVER DISAPPOINTS IN A FIGHT!

-------

Award for SHUT THE FUCK UP!!! SHUT UP!!! THIS ISNT CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT!!!! I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE Y- goes to...

ENDEAVOR!!

SHUT YOUR BITCH ASS UP ENDEAVOR!!!

------

Award for THEY NEEDED TO TAKE YOU OUT EARLIER ON SO YOU COULDNT CLAP THE BADDIES CHEEKS AND ITS SO OBVIOUS WHY DID HORI MAKE YOU SO STRONG FOR NO REASON TOKOYAMI???? goes to....

TOKOYAMI!!!

HOLY SHIT TOKOYAMI!

--------

Award for I HATE THAT THEYRE MAKING ME DEFEND YOU... goes to...

HAWKS!!!

Hawks gave Twice plenty of chances to stop fucking killing people so he could be taken in alive! WHY DO I HAVE TO DEFEND THIS BLACKHOLE OF WASTED FUCKIN TIME HORI WTF....???

-----

Award for MOST WEIRDLY TOUCHING DEDICATION goes to...

All Mights CANT STOP TWINKLING attack!

The way I cried a little... my little tchotchke.... Him changing his attacks from states to his students was already so good but damn... :') Aoyama deserved this.

-----

Award for MOST TRAGICALLY SUBMISSIVE BABYGIRL goes to...

ALL MIGHT!!!

I mean we knew from the jump but.... DAMN Toshi.

------

Award for MOST HATED GOOD SHIP goes to...

KIRISHIDO!!!

Seriously FUCK those KRBK fans! Im so glad you got bested by the BKDKs you rancid fucks.... This ship was always superior!!!

------

Award for LOVING SHOTO THE MOST goes to....

Certainly not his fucking family....

IIDA!!!!

So this is love... mmm mmm mmm mmm~ So this is... love?

----

Award for SICKEST VILLAIN DESIGN goes to...

Kunieda(I guess?)

Seriously this guy is so fucking cool looking. Clears literally every single villain design. Its not even close.

------

The award for MOST HORNGRY goes too....

AFO

Seriously AFO... if you werent so obsessed with Toshi you probably woulda won its literally so fucking funny.... Elevated the nosebleed trope to literally spurting blood from the forehead veins from how aggressively horknee you are. LMAO. AND YET somehow this is not the weirdest boner you have for another man.

---

Award for THE MOST CONSISTENTLY GOOD CHARACTER IN BNHA goes to...

ALL MIGHT. Obviously.

IDK if Hori loves you or hates you by how he writes you Toshi but damn you wear this consistency so fuckin well not even Hori could fuck you up!

-----

Award for MOST REALISTICALLY AGED BY THE STRESS OF THIS BATTLE goes to...

Naomasa!!

.... LMAO... Damn. Stress so intense it made you turn into a distinctly designed character.. The magic of facial hair and eyebags...

---

The award for REALLY BITCH!? YOU HAVE A PERFECT COUNTER FOR STAINS QUIRK BUT NOT ONE TO AGE YOURSELF TO COUNTER YOUR DEAGING?! THATS FUCKIN CONVENIENT HORIKOSHI goes to...

AFO!!! For BLOODLET!

The only blemish on the otherwise sickest side battle in this whole arc TBH..

-----

Thats the end of part 2 of BNHA AWARDS!!! Some serious upsets this round! Damn!

[twinkpriest]

Omg.... Please share your headcanons about the goth kids

>:3c mwahahaha i hope youre ready anon (cracks knuckles)

also i need share credit bc all of these were jointly created in my bf @lilachawk and i's dms <3

general:

their group chat is called "the cavern of darkness", they named it that in middle school and never changed it. any time they refer to it in verbal speech they just call is "the cavern"

they do secret santa every year. they draw names from michael's plastic viking helmet

they all definitely have their non-goth-music guilty pleasures but the main one they all have in common is lady gaga. her 2009 vma performance won their respect

they're still decent friends with stan and get invited to his birthday party every year. sometimes they go sometimes they don't

michael:

november scorpio

i'm gonna ignore how all of the houses in town are laid out because i firmly believe he has an attic bedroom. every wall/ceiling surface is covered in posters and stuff. full bookshelves, lots of tchotchkes, old concert ticket stubs, that kinda stuff. maximalism baby!!

gay gay homosexual gay

has a long haired black cat named bella (short for belladonna). rescued her from a snowstorm

him saying his parents were separated in raisins was just him being #edgy & his parents shown in gk3 are his actual parents. they never got divorced. he was raised interfaith jewish and buddhist. 

he has ehlers-danlos. i always give him ring splints in my drawings. the cane is actually needed sometimes

drives his dad's old camaro. the engine is really loud and it holds up like shit in the wintertime but he’s secretly really fond of the car

got a part time job at the only respectable record store in town junior year

pete:

water sign. pisces or cancer

only child of a single father who does construction work. his dad doesn't quite understand the goth thing but he's supportive

bi king. had a normie girlfriend in highschool. not for long, but it was still a very weird experience for everyone involved

super into comics, esp indie stuff. dream job is definitely to be a comic book artist

if the shirt+bolo tie wasn't a giveaway, he's lowkey into western vibes/influences. he probably has one of those old dramatically fringed suede jackets that he found in a local goodwill

really puts the Y in diy, probably the best & most creative out of the 4 of them when it comes to altering clothes and making accessories and shit

bites his nails/picks his skin

has a pet rat named boris

a little transmasc pilled if u ask me....

henrietta:

probably a virgo

mean lesbian <3

she stays designated driver for most of high school but later on, her and michael kinda divvy up friend group driving responsibilities. she is still the default though, because when michael drives she’s an intense backseat driver

she drives her mom's horrible subaru most of the time but she 100% would be the person to save up and buy a hearse as her daily car

is always the first to hear about local shows. she just knows people

i looooove the recurring thing in fics where she is the one to dye pete's hair. she does the sally’s run & dyes/trims his hair and in exchange he fixes rips in her clothes or superglues the soles back onto her shoes or something like that 

loves those new age crystal incense dragon hippie stores you see in malls. secretly likes the cool fairy statues they sell in them

firkle:

april aries

SUPER into vulture culture. has too many bones and not enough space for them

likes harsh noise music. calms him down

sends the strangest, most esoteric memes in the group chat and the rest of them have no idea where he finds them or what they mean

sorry i have like nothing else for firkle he kinda eludes me

[keyofjetwolf]

Yellowjackets S01E06 spoilers under the cut NOT FOR PRYING HOLLIGAY EYES

"Jackie just adored rabbits."

OH MY FUCKING GOD AND AN AVALANCHE OF THOUGHTS JUST CRASHED DOWN ON ME AND I'M TAKING YOU ALL WITH ME

I'd filed away that Shauna has A THING about rabbits. We've seen her kill two, going so far as to expertly skin, disembowel, butcher, and then make a chili out of the thing to serve to her family. (Who loved it when they had no idea what was in it, hello I see you clear parallel.)

Yet we've ALSO seen that Shauna has bunny shit absolutely everywhere, all these tchotchkes that didn't seem to fit. Not only in what we're gathering about her general lifestyle, but in her apparent relationship to rabbits. She hates them! Murderously! But she also cherishes them? Or at least the still, silent representations of them that can't eat her garden.

Couldn't make sense of it, but it was too obviously placed as a contradiction to not make note of it, so note it I did and moved on.

UNTIL NOW AND HOLY SHIT

JACKIE IS THE RABBIT. I've been wondering what happened to her (as I have everyone we haven't also seen in the 2021 timeline), but I feel SUPER confident now saying she's dead dead so fucking dead.

Shauna loves her. They've been best friends for how long?

Shauna is IN love with her. That much was obvious immediately, and is I believe 10000% the reason she hooked up with and later married Jeff. (Can't have the girl? Have the guy who can.)

Shauna hates her. This part I'm shakiest on right now, but if Jackie is the rabbit (JACKIE IS ABSOLUTELY THE RABBIT), then I know it's true. Maybe Shauna hates her because Jackie can't/won't/doesn't return her feelings. Maybe Jackie's kind of selfish and terrible sometimes. Shauna was going to (or was at least wrestling with) passing up Brown to go to whatever shitbag local university Jackie was going to, and was that because Shauna wanted to, or was pressured to, or felt obligated to, or...?

I don't know that piece yet, but I DO know people are complex and can be many things at once, and so even without filling in the details, I have zero problem accepting that Shauna loved and hated Jackie all at the same time.

Bringing us to today. Shauna cherishes the idea of the rabbit, enshrines it almost, while Shauna also kills and eats the rabbit.

So if Jackie is the rabbit (AND JACKIE IS WITHOUT A DOUBT THE FUCKING RABBIT), oh that bitch became dinner and I'd lay two shiny quarters that Shauna is the one who took the first bite.

Because how else to love Jackie, to take her in so completely, than literally consume her?

THAT IS FUCKED MY FRIENDS

THAT IS FUCKED UP AND I'M INTO IT

#oh shit oh shit #and a couple episodes ago where jackie DIRECTLY SAYS she's not cut out for all this #this isn't her world #the others can adapt and do what it takes to survive #jackie can't #the poison ivy #that means something too #not getting it right now but that's also symbolic of something filing that away too #anyway yes jackie basically ANNOUNCES IT THERE that she's doomed #oh man and what did the head coach say about her being team leader aahhh #gotta rewatch brb #'when things get tough out there those girls are gonna need someone to guide them' #GUIDE #not lead #because jackie isn't a natural leader it's painful whenever she tries #the leader is clearly taissa #guide though #influencer as he also says #fuck me yeah it's all right there #a guide shows the way #girl you were dinner before you ever set foot on that plane #ANYWAY SORRY I'M HAVING A LOT OF THOUGHTS IN THIS CHILIS TONIGHT

Edited to add: "JACK RABBIT" IT'S ALL JUST SITTING RIGHT THERE FUCK YOU GOODBYE

[jerkeline]

18, 36, 54 <3

18. Pro or anti tchotchkes?

Pro! I love having little bits a pieces about the place, I wish I could have more (see my last answer re: min/maxing). The closest I have right now are plastic models and legos, but I don't think they necessarily count as tchotchkes? I have a small ceramic cat that I made recently which I love (I'll show it to you if anyone wants to see) but again, I feel like that doesn't count because I made it myself? I don't know how much of that is low self-esteem delegitimizing my own artistic creation, or if it just feels like tchotchkes/knick knacks/whatever are supposed to be bought or inherited or gifted from someone else? I will say that it's a shame to see a decline of small hand made art pieces in favour of funko pops or whatever, at least I built my plastic models myself so they contain the act of creation through lived time between the box and the shelf. Or maybe I'm just pretentious, who's to say?

36. Do you keep a daily journal or agenda?

I don't. I should, but I can't. I do a lot of writing, but something about journaling doesn't hold my interest for some reason. I also find it difficult to keep a routine for something like that, which is unusual because my life is quite regimented in most other ways. As far as agenda goes (I'm assuming this means like, future calender scheduling), I'm a disability carer and a big aspect of my job is scheduling appointments, taking her to and from, and assisting with routine stuff, so yeah I definitely need to be on top of my agenda and hers. Luckily we're best mates and live together so it's pretty seamless, yesterday I had us both booked into the same doctor for two back to back appointments, then covid and flu vaccinations each, and a little pathology for desert. Downside being she has to wait while I bitch about my (unspecified embarrasing medical issue) to the doctor, but upside being that.. well she has a live-in full time chef so that feels like a fair trade.

54. Do you decorate your house for holidays? Which ones?

I don't... Do holidays.. I don't even celebrate my own birthday (nor does anyone else). Holidays when I was a child were a fucking nightmare, so now I'm a grown arse woman with no religious affiliation, I don't have to put myself through the stress. Not to say I'm a party pooper, I just don't have any cause for celebration, it never feels worth it. I have kids so I still buy presents and celebrate with them, my ex-wife goes all out for Christmas and Easter and birthdays, so they get the whole holiday experience and stuff, and I'll celebrate with them at her house (my ex and I have worked incredibly hard to be able to stay friends and do things together like this), but I can keep it at arms length and out of my personal space. Idk, its just not really for me. I do almost like halloween?

[jammie3132]

Fandom: Glee Pairing: Blaine Anderson & Sebastian Smythe Chapter Title: Back to November Chapter Summary: Blaine has no idea what’s going on and everyone keeps telling him it would be better if his memories returned organically. What happens if he never remembers? What happens if he does remember, but not what people want to hear? Chapter Note: I'm not making any more notes about chapters. This is taking a big turn. Think of the previous 6 chapters as set-up. And since this is like a separate fic, I eliminated my "only MCU canon before Endgame" rule. I will not tag which show/movie but still...spoilers. Warnings: Deaths (not by Snap) of canon Glee characters are hinted at but not confirmed 

REPOST 2/20/24: I accidently posted the rough draft 🤬

Hello, Blaine. My name is Sebastian. It’s nice to meet you.

He stared at the beautiful man…Sebastian. Something about him felt so familiar. It made him feel safe. “The little girl called me Daddy.”

“Yeah, I wish that didn’t happen.”

“Why?”

Sebastian chuckled and leaned into the door frame. He seemed to drop his guard (slightly) so he did the same. “I’m going to go make sure the kids’ lessons are ready.”

“I thought you said they were going to Kindergarten?”

“That’s what we call it…no, sorry. We were told, at least in the beginning, to let you try to regain your memories slowly, naturally.”

“Regain my memories?” Yes, he'd realized he had almost no memories from before he awoke, but how did Sebastian and whoever gave him that bullshit advice know he didn't?

“Tea or coffee?”

“Tea or coffee?” Was this a test? What if he said the wrong thing? Would it mean he’d have to wait even longer for someone to tell him what the fuck was going on? “Uh…I feel like I should say coffee, but I’d really like a cup of tea, Earl Grey with a little sugar and, this might sound strange, a splash of cinnamon.”

Something he said brought the beautiful smile back to Sebastian’s beautiful face. He must have answered correctly. “It doesn’t sound strange. One Earl Grey with a little sugar and a splash of cinnamon coming right up.”

Once he was alone, he got out of bed to survey his surroundings. The first thing he saw was a pair of glasses on the nightstand. He put them on and yes, these were definitely his.

The room was nice but plain. It felt more like an unoccupied dorm room than a bedroom in a home. White walls, hardwood floors and beige area rugs. No wall art, tchotchkes, or framed photos. The bedding didn’t have patterns, just grey sheets and a dark blue comforter with red trim. There was a full-length mirror in the corner, so he went to take a look. He was older than he anticipated. His hair was ridiculously curly and he was in need of a shave. The dark blue pajama pants he was wearing were unremarkable, but his t-shirt had Dalton printed across the front.

The shirt was the only thing that brought out any sort of recognition. Whatever Dalton turned out to be was irrelevant. To him, Dalton meant home.

Next to tackle was the dresser, but when he opened the top drawer, everything else came to a stop. There was only one item there. The only item since he woke up this morning that he recognized without an ounce of doubt.

The lightsaber Tony Stark made for him.

He climbed back into bed but sat up against the headboard, clutching his find. It was an anchor within the chaos of his situation. This Tony Stark guy was obviously important to him. So, why could he remember the lightsaber but not the man who made it for him?

He closed his eyes and tried to settle his mind.

“I’ve told you a thousand times, you can’t overthink everything.”

The voice embraced him with love, bringing out his first genuine smile of the day. “But I can sure try.”

Two gasps, one his own, had him opening his eyes. The sight of the person in the doorway confused him even more than why he gasped at what was said. “I know you…but I don’t know how.”

The woman plastered on a smile and set up the breakfast tray she’d been carrying. “It’s ok, Sweetie. Sebastian told me you wanted tea. I thought you might want some toast as well. There’s some…”

“Honey butter.” The woman's smile changed to resemble Sebastian’s when he answered the tea question.

Another test passed?

She sat beside him and gently brushed back his hair. It was if she’d been doing it for years. “Are you my mother?”

“Not biologically but over the past 6 years you and I have adopted each other as family. About 4 years ago you started calling me Mom. Maybe that’s what you’re remembering.”

“Maybe, but I don’t think I can do that, call you Mom, right now.”

The woman smiled again, easing their tension even further. “I understand, Sweetie. My name is Carole.”

(A younger) Carole stood next to a man in a baseball cap. The man reached out for a handshake. “Call me Burt, Kid. Kurt talks about you so much…”

“Dad! You said you wouldn’t embarrass me!”

Kurt? His first impression was one of fondness but then he was hit with feelings of animosity. No, animosity wasn’t enough. He might not remember this Kurt guy, but he really, really hated him. The memory troubled him so much he backed away to the other side of the bed, bringing his lightsaber, his only anchor to reality, with him. “How have we accepted each other as family when I hate your son?”

Carole chalked his statement up to his memories coming back in bits and pieces. At least they seemed to be coming back. That was progress. “You remembered Finn?”

“Kurt”

“Oh, that makes a lot more sense. Kurt isn’t my son. He was my stepson.”

He scooted back to his original spot, willing to once again try trusting the woman with the kind smile. “Was?”

“I was married to Kurt’s father until he died 6 years ago in a plane crash. Kurt disappeared at the same time, and we all thought he'd died as well. About a year and a half ago Kurt showed up out of nowhere. When he found out how my life moved forward, he said he would never forgive me. I haven’t heard from him since.”

“Was it because of me? Does he hate me, because I really, really hate him…although I don’t know why.”

“My relationship with you wasn’t the problem. He hated, probably still hates, the man I married and his son.”

“His son?”

“That would be me” Sebastian said from the end of the bed. Next to him was a distinguished-looking gentleman. Both men's eyes were darting back and forth between Carole and the lightsaber. She subtly shook her head as a signal to let it go for the time being.

He pretended he didn’t notice.

The distinguished-looking gentleman ended the awkwardness with his introduction. “And I’m the new husband, Sebastian’s dad, Xavier Smythe.”

Did he say… “Smythe? Your name is Xavier Smythe?”

“Yes. Do you remember me?”

His focus moved from father to son. What he found had him trying to catch his breath. The man from earlier was gone. The person at the end of the bed was a beautiful 16-year-old boy, dressed in a perfectly pressed school uniform.

And when she knows what She wants from her time And when she wakes up And makes up her mind

”Sebastian Smythe.” ”Are you a Freshman?”

Once a Warbler, always a Warbler. Right? He remembered November 8th, 2011 and November 8th, 2012…as well as every moment they shared in between. He remembered November 9th, 2012…waking up, realizing he’d been in love with Sebastian the entire time and minutes later Kurt telling him he was dead. He remembered every second of pain between that moment and November 8th, 2024…the day he traveled back in time. Everything hadn't returned, only his memories of Sebastian and the aftermath of the accident. It didn't matter. His beautiful boy, now beautiful man, was less than 10 feet in front of him.

“Bas”

Sebastian ran from the room. He was devastated but didn't want the others to know. "Guess I failed that test."

Xavier looked to Carole who told him Go, I’ve got this one. Once he was gone, Carole grabbed hold of his hand not grasping his lightsaber. “I’m so sorry, Sweetie. This must be so confusing. But when I came in and told you to stop overthinking…”

“I said But I can sure try. I don’t know why I said that.”

“Because that’s how my Blaine would always answer. That’s how Sebastian’s Blaine would always answer.”

Her Blaine? Sebastian’s Blaine?

He didn’t know what Carole was trying to say but he didn’t care. Something didn’t feel right. He pushed her away and went as far as he could while remaining in the same room “Get out.”

“Sweetie…”

“I’m not your Sweetie. I want to talk to Bas.”

Carole stood and sighed, a signal of surrender. All the goodwill she'd attempted to build was gone. “I’ll tell Seb, but don’t get your hopes up. There’s a change of clothes in the bathroom if you want a shower.” After she pointed out the proper door, she picked up the long-forgotten breakfast tray. “Please stay here for the time being.”

“You can’t keep me prisoner.”

“I…we’re not trying to. However, there are two small children in the house and all they know is something is going on with someone they love. They’re scared enough.”

With everything that happened between the time the children left his room, he’d forgotten them (couldn’t blame the memory loss for that one). “I’ll stay here…for now.”

“That’s all I ask.”

The shower helped. He didn’t want to say it made him feel like himself again because he didn’t know who the hell he was. More specifically, who these people expected him to be. Carole must have returned while he was in the shower because a new breakfast tray of tea and toast was neatly set up on the table next to the window. Although, this time she'd included some eggs and bacon. He appreciated the gesture. As he sat down to eat, he looked outside (why hadn’t he thought of that sooner?). He didn’t need a rush of memories to know he was at Dalton. But this Dalton wasn’t either of his Daltons.

There was more than one Dalton? Why would he believe that? The only Dalton he remembered was the one where he met Sebastian. He was too hungry to obsess about it now, so he turned his attention back to his breakfast. The food was so good, and he was so mentally fried, he didn’t hear someone enter the room.

”You don’t have face hair anymore. You always have face hair.”

”I shaved.”

“Oh, ok. I got this for you, Uncle Blaine.” Sammy, the little boy…not the dog he still had no answers about, was holding a quart of Stark Raving Mad ice cream. “It always makes you feel better.”

He cocked his eyebrow and tried not to smile. “Makes me feel better, huh? Is there a reason I need two spoons to eat it?” The little boy’s face fell, and his heart shattered into a thousand pieces. “Come here.” Sammy ran into his open arms and quickly settled on his lap. “Thank you, I ate my breakfast but I’m still hungry.”

“Grammy Carole says you’re always hungry” Sammy told him between shoveling spoons full of ice cream into his face. “Uncle Seb said you don’t remember us because you bumped your head. Is he right? You promised you’d never lie to me, but I guess you don’t member that.”

WTF? Blaine shifted the boy in his lap. First, the kid was heavier than he looked. His leg was falling asleep. And second, why had Sebastian told Sammy about his memory loss when Carole basically begged him to stay away from the kid and his sister? “Your Uncle Seb told you I bumped my head and lost my memories?”

“No” the boy admitted “I heard him tell Grampy X. He also said you were the other Blaine now, not his B. I don't know what that means.” That bit of information took him from frustrated to completely horrified. How could Sebastian be so reckless to say this where one of the kids could overhear him? His Bas was an impulsive brat (hello, eye surgery) but the things he did stemmed from being a child (teenagers, no matter what they believe, are children). This Sebastian was a late 20-something year old parent. He should know better!

The ice cream was gone (he might've gotten in 3 bites) and Sammy was beginning to doze off. It gave him an idea. “You heard right, I don’t have my memory and my head still kind of hurts. I was going to take a nap. Do you want to join me?"

Sammy wrapped his arms around Blaine’s neck, making it easier to be carried. Once they were settled, the boy began to wiggle and brought something up from underneath the sheet. “Where did you get this cool lightsaber…or you don’t remember?”

How could he have forgotten his lightsaber? Was he losing new memories every time he remembered something from the past? It wasn’t the time for panic…yet. “I found it in a drawer. Someone named Tony made it for me. I don’t remember him, but I know he loved me and always made me feel safe.”

“Like you love me and said you would do anything to keep me safe...when you remembered me.”

“Hey” He lifted the little boy’s chin, so he had to look at him. “I don’t care if I never remember anything else. I will always remember to make sure you and Susie are safe.”

Any tension in Sammy’s body melted as he snuggled even closer. “Uncle Blaine, I’m sorry.”

“For what?”

“For getting scared and thinking the bad space monster would take me away again because you forgot to keep me safe.”

“Take you away?”

“Pepper brought you to Dalton to recover in peace. No one’s looking for Iron Man in bum-fuck Ohio.”

It wasn’t the time for questions. Tony had been through hell. And even though it had been a month, his brain was still dealing with the reality of Infinity Stones and how an alien got ahold of them, snapped his fingers and turned half of all living beings in the universe to dust.

Oh no, no, no. Sammy had been Snapped by Thanos. Blaine rolled to his side and hugged him as tightly as possible. “Never be sorry for being scared. Let’s talk about that…” He didn’t have to finish. The little boy was already sound asleep, clutching the lightsaber. 

“What the hell were you thinking?”

*Blaine continued to love and be loved by Sammy...the hyperactive puppy* Me? You gave me the lightsaber and the rest of the technology I needed to do it!”

Tony walked around the basement of the Dalton he built, inspecting the time portal Blaine, Brittany and Bruce (technically Brittany and Bruce) built out of the material he sent. “I trusted Banner. He should've called off the whole thing knowing those substitute PYM Particles were compromised! And Barton?! I thought you were the little brother he never wanted. He and his whole fake SHIELD family loved you!”

“They do…did, whatever. And Bruce told me…ok, he tried. I still don’t get all the timey-whimey shit.”

“Which you should've before you TIME TRAVELED with defective particles! I understand not going back to Hank Pym for help. The guy has a Stark hate-boner so big I’m amazed he fathered a child.”

“Like yours for Steve Rogers?”

“Hold on…fine, point for the Bow-tied Wonder. But seriously, Banner let you use the damaged particles without seeing what Britt or that Princess in Wakanda could come up with? What about Strange? He was keeper of the Time Stone for fuck sake!”

“Then why didn’t the Avengers include them in the Time Heist?”

“Dr. Weirdo, Princess Kitty-Kat and our lovable but ditzy genius were dust at the time.”

“Don’t say it like that. It took forever for Britt to realize constantly singing Dust in the Wind wasn’t appropriate, especially in front of others who were Blipped.”

“Yet another reason I love that girl. And before you say Wong, we also thought he was dust…Snapped. We were wrong but not our fault. He’d snuck back to the Mystical Monastery of the Mountains and gone off-grid. Oh, and …THANOS DESTROYED THE STONES. Since we didn’t have any extra laying in a drawer somewhere, I, the most brilliant man who ever lived, had to solve time travel.”

“Yeah, I’d forgotten most of that. Not because of the memory loss, I think, but because it made my head hurt to listen to you and Bruce, or Bruce and Britt, talk about it.”

“Again…you didn’t understand and yet decided it was a good idea to TIME TRAVEL! I should tell MIT to take back your degree.”

“You’re dead.”

“Heroically departed, yet here I am…Iron Man.”

“Seriously?”

“How about*overdramatic superhero voice* I am...Dream Master and Gate Keeper to all your memories, so don’t piss me off?”

“I hate you.”

“You love me. And hey! What about Wanda? She’s a witch with super-sized magic courtesy of the mind stone. Did any of you supposedly brilliant idiots think of seeing what she could do to help?”

“Uh…after you left…”

“Heroically departed.”

“After you left, Wanda tried to get Vision’s body from the government to give him a funeral.”

“I don’t know if I’m more offended by the fact the government had Vision’s body and I didn’t know, or Elphaba wanted to put billions of dollars worth of Vibranium…”

“No, Wanda wanted to say goodbye with a funeral for the man?...person?...cybernetic being she loved. When she couldn’t get him back, she went a little Coo-coo for Cocoa Puffs.”

“How little?”

“Mind fucked an entire town, a small town, in New Jersey into believing they were characters in old sitcoms. Manifested a new Vision and a couple of kids. After the government caught on and all hell broke loose, she freed everyone, essentially killing her imaginary family. Last anyone saw of her, she flew off, no airplane necessary, to parts unknown with something called The Book of the Damned.”

For the first time ever, Tony Stark was speechless.

*Lengthy amount of (Dream) Time later* “And you questioned why I wanted Britt kept away from all that shit!?!”

“I didn’t question, per se…”

“Liar…and why didn’t Legolas do anything about the Wicked Witch of New Jersey?”

“Wanda told Clint, and Laura, she was going back to Sokovia to help with rebuilding what the Avengers and Ultron…”

“No need to elaborate. I was there…no comments.”

“So...that’s why they didn’t question her going no contact. It’s not their fault the government was stupid and for some reason didn’t bringing in the man who convinced Wanda to turn her back on Ultron, gave his son her dead brother’s name and freed her from your house arrest.”

"I said no comments!”

“I didn’t say a word about how you were responsible for Ultron, but if the title Avengers Dictator fits…”

“My bad. And while I want answers, you dream-summoned me to help you understand what the hell is happening in your pudding brain. That doesn’t mean I’ll stop yelling about the fact you never should have TIME TRAVELED with faulty particles in the first place! I’m gone for one itty-bitty year…”

*Blaine rose from where he’d been sitting the entire time and Sammy (the dog) ran off* “Tony…” “Ok, ok, I’ll drop it for now but be prepared to be chastised in future dreams.”

“I would expect nothing less from you.”

*Seconds later (because…Dream Time). Tony is now surrounded by all the computers he’d sent to Dalton over the years* “I figured out how badly you all fucked this up without me.”

“Can we postpone the I Told You Sos as well as the yelling?“

“You take the fun out of everything.”*Blaine answered by giving him a middle finger* “See? Was that so difficult?”

*Blaine answered with double middle fingers* “What did you find?”

“The faulty particles sent you to 2011 instead of 2012. Like with Rogers and his trip to finally get laid…”

“Oh, he’d already been laid.”

“...by Peggy Carter. And I’m still angry with you for not sharing your Stucky theories while I was around to use them to my advantage…in a fun way, at least a fun for me way. I would never use information like that against someone, especially after what happened to your platonic apocalypse partner.”

“My what?”

“That Dave guy?”

“Who?”

“Ok, your memory has improved to Swiss Cheese, but one thing at a time. Like I was saying, you went back to 2011 instead of 2012 and physically became that Blaine Anderson. During the Time Heist, we just had to avoid the Battle of New York Avengers.”

“That’s what I expected, hoped, would happen to me. Did you figure out why I physically became 2011 me?”

“No clue.”

“So, you can’t fix it?”

“To send you back to your original timeline? Not a chance. You wanted to be here, so…ta-da!”

“Not helpful.”

“If you want helpful, I can tell you when you are. It’s November 8th, 2024.”

“The day I left?”

“Makes sense. From what I understand, the Centurian lived decades with no memories of his 70 year side trip. Those memories took over when his two timelines intersected. He did eventually wind up with both sets of memories. My highly educated guess is you’ll eventually do the same.”

“I don’t have eventually. Right now, I have a scared little boy to take care of.”

“Yeah, Sammy. Do you realize you haven’t mentioned Sebastian once since you sought my wisdom? When I was alive you wouldn’t shut up about the guy.”

“Fuck you”

“You didn’t get the big Rom-Com reunion you wanted?”

“Not even close.”

“Did you ever consider the fact that for Sebastian, his Blaine essentially died when you woke up this morning? And you? While you saved Sebastian, Bas died November 8th, 2012. Is that something you’re prepared to accept? And what about Sam?”

“Sammy…”

“Not Sammy…Sam.”

I, I will be king And you, you will be queen Though nothing will drive them away We can be Heroes, just for one day We can be us, just for one day

I, I can remember (I remember) Standing, by the wall (by the wall) And the guns shot above our heads (Over our heads) And we kissed, As though nothing could fall (Nothing could fall)

And the shame was on the other side Oh we can beat them, for ever and ever Then we could be Heroes, Just for one day

“Last night there was a major accident on the highway. A big-rig blew a tire causing the truck to flip over. It smashed into several cars before landing on two. Blaine, Sam was in one of those cars…and, and Sebastian was in the other. They didn’t make it. I’m so sorry.”

"Sammy, the little boy…obviously not the dog, is Sam’s son, isn’t he?"

"Yes"

"But Sam…if I saved him, where is he? Why isn’t he with his son?”

“I can’t tell you what happened. That’s Blaine 2.0 territory. However, when you wake up, you can have some more of Bow’s memories. I can do that much."

“Thanks.”

“Don’t thank me. This is your dream.”

*Next thing Blaine knew he was hugging the man he considered his father. In this Dream State he could actually feel Tony’s arms around him* “I miss you so much.”

“Of course, you do. I’m awesome.” *Tony tightened his hold* “I love you, Blaine Anderson.”

“I love you too, Tony Stark.”

“Good, because I want you to do something for me.”

“Of course, you do. What?”

“Go back to your music.”

“But…”

“What was the first thing you thought of when you remembered Sam? *Blaine tries to move away but Tony won’t let him* “You remembered the two of you singing Heroes. It was good…really good. Not hard rock enough to be my theme song, but I would’ve put it on the list.”

“How do you know that?”

“I’m Dream Master and Gate Keeper to all your memories, Dumb Ass. Now, about you going back to music…”

“Tony…”

“If I didn’t burden you with hiding Brittany…”

“She wasn’t a burden.”

“Then hiding all my extra toys in the basement at Dalton…”

“That was a burden, a little one. But only when you came to Ohio and (air quotes) played science with my home. It would take days to get Saturday back to working correctly after you left.”

“I always thought if I didn’t uproot your life, you would’ve eventually found your way back to music. You were too good not to.”

“Tony…”

“Bow, just this one time, don’t overthink this and promise me you’ll try.”

*Sigh* “For you? I promise to try.”

Blaine felt movement next to him. It was enough to end his dream but not enough for him to move out of the comfort cocoon he was wrapped in. That was until he heard…

Come on, Big Guy. Time to go.

“Says who?” Blaine asked a startled Sebastian.

“Sammy shouldn’t be here.”

“And you shouldn’t have talked to your father about me without making sure you were alone.” He didn’t regret what he said, but maybe he didn’t have to say it like that.

“He overheard Dad and I…?” Sebastian didn’t need a verbal response. He’d seen that expression thousands of times. “Do you know how much he heard?”

“Enough to come to the conclusion my forgetting him meant the bad space monster was going to take him away again.” He motioned for not-his-Bas to go around to the other side of the bed and join them. Sebastian took the hint and laid down next to the sleeping boy, brushing his hair aside much like Carole had done with him earlier.

It finally dawned on him how much the other man loved this boy and had just been trying to protect him. “I’m sorry.”

“For what?” Sebastian asked, surprised by the apology.

“That I failed your test. That I’m not who you wanted me to be.”

If Sebastian was surprised before, he was now in full-on shock. “How do you know?”

“You didn’t hide it very well. That, and while I was sleeping, I came to a couple of realizations, like how you lost your husband.” He held up his left hand to show him rubbing the underside of his ring finger with his thumb. “I can’t stop doing this. It’s a muscle memory I have no control over. Susie said something about having a Daddy and a Papa, but this…” he held up his hand again “this is a habit developed over a long period of time.”

“B’s ring belonged to my grandfather. It was always a little big but with everything going on the past few years, getting it resized wasn’t happening. When we finally found someone to do it, B said no, the ring’s perfect the way it is. And you didn’t fail. We knew this would happen. I just hoped…”

Huh? We knew? “How? How the fuck…” Sebastian glared at him until he realized “Oh sh…cra…darn? Guess I need to learn to watch my language.”

“We have a curse jar. You don’t put money in because money doesn’t have any real value right now. The jar has pieces of paper with monthly jobs no one wants to do on them. B usually takes out 10 at the beginning of the month so he can space things out.”

He chuckled quietly, not wanting to wake up Sammy. Obviously, he and the other Blaine would have similarities since they were technically the same person. He never considered his swearing habit would be one of them. “He, your B, has or had…”

“A potty mouth? Yes, but it did get better after Susie’s first word was fuck.”

That was all it took for him to lose it. Whatever came out was somewhere between a laugh and a sob, the problem was it was loud. Sammy smiled waking to see the men he called Uncle on either side of him, until seconds later when sheer panic overtook the boy.

On the other side of the room, sparks had appeared out of nowhere. Fortunately, he remembered what this meant, but how to explain it to a traumatized child was a different story. “Sebastian, how did everyone Tha…the bad space monster took away come back?” he asked, hoping it was at least close to the version he knew. “The Sammy version.”

“Um…Avengers broke the space monster’s curse and everyone just reappeared. No one knows how.”

“What did the Avengers do next?”

“Uh…a big battle with the space monster. They think they’re going to lose when a bunch of people joined them…”

“Awesome! Sammy, I know people who were there when the Avengers fought the space monster. Everyone who joined them? They got there through a magic portal just like that one. Only heroes can go through them.” He tousled the less-scared little boy’s hair before getting out of bed and putting himself between Sebastian and Sammy, and whoever (or whatever) stepped out of the portal.

Not that he was going to stop a magical being or anything, but it felt like the right thing to do.

Any doubt was quashed when their visitor arrived. “Wong? What are you doing here? Wait, how did you get here? The Sorcerer Supreme is a master of time. Yes, I time traveled here but Sebastian and Sammy didn’t. Oh my God! Are we in an alternate universe?” He’s so excited his voice kept getting higher and faster. “I think I finally understand some that timey-whimey shit…stuff Tony, Bruce and Brittany yapped on and on about.”

“Brittany? You said you didn’t know my Mommy.”

He turned so fast he almost knocked himself over. “Brittany is your mommy?” For some reason what Sammy said both made perfect sense and blew his mind. Sadly, this had to wait. “Wong?”

“Sorry to burst your bubble, but you’re not even close. I thought you were some sort of genius like Stark since he sent you to MIT and then kept all his Iron Man stuff in your basement.”

“You went to MIT?”

He motioned to Sebastian he’d answer the question later. Maybe he should get the others to leave. No, a little late for that. “Wong, just tell me.”

“When I first met you, your Temporal Aura was off, more like wrong, but I was a little busy. Do you know why?”

“Testing me?"

"Yes"

Considering the man could turn him into a frog, he determined it wasn't time for snark. Sammy didn't need to see that. "The first time I met you, you and Pepper brought Morgan to me before the battle at the Avengers Compound.”

“Ok, just checking, you never know with time travel. At Stark’s funeral I pointed your Aura out to Strange and he agreed with me. You were on the wrong timeline.”

“The what now?”

“The wrong timeline. People don’t stay on the wrong timeline. Those things get taken care of.”

“Taken care of?” Well, that didn’t sound good.

“Let’s just say there are more beings affecting time than those possessing an Infinity Time Stone. Lasting almost 30 years in the wrong timeline only to return to the correct one without assistance from any form of timekeeper doesn’t happen…until you. It’s fascinating.”

“Fantastic isn’t the word I would use.” This conversation was getting more confusing (and terrifying) by the minute. “So, what does all of this mean? And please no timey/whimey or magicity/smagickity explanations?”

“It means I need to have a discussion with Strange but I can’t find him. He’s off universe. It’s so frustrating.” Wong waved his arms and another portal began to open. “Maybe you can help. What’s the name of Stark’s other lost boy?”

“Huh? Oh, you mean Spider-Man?”

“I know that. What’s his real name? His identity?”

“I don’t know. He wanted it to remain secret, unlike his mentor.”

“Someone must know.”

“Pepper?”

“None of Team Iron Man. Maybe this has something to do with why I can’t find Strange. Do me a favor…no more time jumping until I get this figured out.”

“I won’t know how.” 

Once he was sure Wong was gone, he turned back around. Sammy was bouncing with excitement. Sebastian…have you ever heard the expression If looks could kill? Neither was a good thing. Like his other self, he should probably get a head start on the curse jar because…FUCK!!!!!

[boricuacherry-blog]

It's kind of selfish too. I just like it. I'm always looking for the new new shit."

Erykah has also collaborated with Italian fashion house Marni on a capsule collection which was sold in select Marni boutiques.

"Everything is vibration and sound, from the sound of the birds that I've heard since I was a child...(to) the clothes I wear - the clothes in my Marni line all have bells on them," the Dallas native said. "So, if I associate everything with music, it's very easy for me to create...there's a variety of things I listen to throughout the day, from wind chimes in the morning to Brent Faiyaz in the afternoon to Bach - I mean, there's just so many different things. I just love music and frequency. It is my therapy."

Badu describes the Marni collection as something of an audiovisual experience, what she calls "mystical instrumental wear."

A champion for Black women and free thought, she's not only in an era of reinvention, but expansion. She's entered the cannabis industry partnering with Cookies, arguably the world's most recognizable legal marijuana brand. She's worked with Cookies co-founder Berner to create a weed strain called That Badu, also working on a mushroom tea line.

Although it's been years since Badu put out an album, she has recently gone on tour, called The Unfollow Me tour. In an interview with Vibe, she revealed the inspiration for the name of the tour - cancel culture. "Whenever someone says something in the comments, they don't agree, I don't care, unfollow me, doesn't matter," she told the magazine.

"One thing I brag about all the time is that my sister is probably the only artist I know who easily sells out arenas despite not having put out an album in almost a decade," says sibling Koryan, or Koko for short. Koko once sang backup for Badu's band, but these days acts as her sister's right hand. With a trucker hat pulled over striking waist-length platinum blonde braids, Koko carries herself like a woman who means business. Badu's turning point, she explains, came when the pandemic brought touring to a halt.

The pivot was swift and effective: the launch of Badubotron, a streaming platform hosting concerts from Badu's home that could be viewed for the nominal fee of $1. These attracted more than a hundred thousand fans enamored of Badu's elaborate costumes, wild performances, and otherworldly DIY sets. In one of her shows, Badu and her band appeared to perform inside huge inflatable bubbles. The singer's popular online merch store, Badu World Market, also went live. "We just kind of came together as a family and it was like, Oh, we actually have a company right here," says Koko, whose son, Malcolm, and daughter, Diamond, also work for brand Badu. "Everyone stepped up."

The latest family member to join the team is Badu's daughter Puma. Listening to her cover her mother's songs on TikTok, you can barely tell their voices apart. She and boyfriend Sean have been serving as Badu's personal assistants for a little over a year, which means, among other things, ensuring Badu has the 15 to 20 trunks of clothing and accessories she needs on tour. "I don't know how other family workplace dynamics go," Puma says, "but it's like a real job, and I have to buckle down and do what I need to do or else word is going to get to the CEO and I'm not going to get paid. You know what I mean?"

Inside Badu's home, it's a veritable Aladdin's cave of tchotchkes and objets d'art, with Buddha statues lining the staircase, African masks hanging on the walls, and Indian marigold garlands strung in the windows. Badu, in a silk Libertine caftan printed with pictures of monkeys in space suits, leads her guests past her recording studio to the living area, where two larger-than-life Malian brass busts have glowing sticks of incense sprouting from their heads. The fireplaces casts shadows on vintage furniture, including a throne-like peacock love seat and a retro-futurist egg pod chair. In the corner, an upright piano is buttressed by a stack of vintage Louis Vuitton trunks.

[marcholasmoth]

OSRR: 3794

did you know it's very easy for me to get overwhelmed?

if i have more than two things to do and haven't written them down, i will either forget them or have them swarming in my skull like the gray in zaun and kill me slowly. so i get overwhelmed.

i had like seven things to do today and i had a timeline to follow that i had to stick to.

so i did my best and went at it. and by "went at it," i mean i did none of it before leaving the house the first time and did all of it afterward.

i left around noon to bring something to my aunt and gramma before going to lunch. i brought over some money for my aunt and my cousin who was to visit today, along with a box of cookies for her and a gingerbread house kit for aunt wendy, boo, and gramma to make together.

i rang the doorbell and aunt wendy greeted me at the door, ushering me inside and a great big smile. it was nice to see her up and about again and looking more like herself. gramma asked me if i wanted a slice of pie. usually i'd say no, but (1) it's my gramma and my aunt and (2) it was pumpkin pie. i am physically incapable of saying no to pumpkin pie.

(gramma's pies are the best as long as she remembers the sugar.) (she did.)

yknow sometimes when you go to a place and order pumpkin pie that it's not always delicious out there crust isn't sprays good out there put itself isn't creamy enough or is too grainy? you don't get that at gramma's house. the pies she makes have perfect, flaky crust and creamy, delicious filling that have the perfect texture. the same is true for the pumpkin pie i had. just a perfect piece of pie that wasn't too soft and wasn't too hard and had the right amount of moisture in the crust and the right amount of spices in the pumpkin. it was literally the perfect piece of pie.

but savoring the pie as it deserves made me a little late. i didn't mind. the pie was worth it.

(i also slipped my aunt two andes mints from my wallet while at the table with gramma. gramma didn't notice at all. aunt wendy and i laughed.)

and just before i went to leave, i helped aunt wendy out to the curb to toss the bag of trash she was taking out. she told me something that the nurses at the hospital had told her: that when she was in the emergency room, the young lady who looked like her daughter who stayed beside her was kind and pleasant. she has no memory of it, that much is certain, but i think it's more important to be loving, especially when someone isn't going to remember it. i am grateful that's who i am as a person, the person i have spent so long becoming.

my aunt cried and told me how grateful she was that i was there and how happy she is to have me as a niece. i gave her another hug before i left. my aunt is so special to me and is so important to me. i love her so much.

after leaving gramma's house, i met kristen for lunch today at the diner we frequent, and it was so nice to just sit down and spend time with her. i know my mom and dad are sick, and i haven't wanted to be sick because of my plans for next week, so i wanted an injection of vitamin c to keep the sickness at bay. so what did i order with my lunch?

hot chocolate and a chocolate frappe.

not quite the OJ i intended to get, but eh. it was good.

but we sat and talked for a while, and it was really nice.

when we went to leave, she handed me all of the little tootsie rolls the diner gives you like olive garden gives you mints.

and when kristen left, i moved my car to accomplish one of my tasks in the daylight: breaking down the giant box from my office and taking everything out. what an annoying task. fairly terrible. but i did it. i broke down the cabinets and the box and pulled out all of the tiny tchotchkes from the bins and put it all in a bag. that was that. and i went home.

i put all of my laundry away, ran a load, realized i didn't have to have that laundry with me at joel's, packed a bunch of dresses from the cold weather pile, gathered all of the gifts i needed for joel's family christmas tomorrow, and then grabbed my stocking contents (candy) before leaving for joel's.

i stopped at target and picked up a ton of shit while i was there - candy, more candy, more candy, some red bulls for joel, some wrapping supplies, and a knitted stuffed kirby. it was in the wrong section. i saw him and knew i immediately needed to get him.

And i got myself a new silver purse because it's cute and fits my wallet nicely.

i stopped at pressed cafe for dinner, right next to target. i got a tuna sandwich because that's what i was feeling, and the bread was so good. it's a seven-grain bread and since it's a panini it gets pressed (hence the name of the cafe lol). i got chips with it and a fresh squeezed orange juice, finally fulfilling my desire for the day - i drank half of it and decided to save the rest for tomorrow. all of it was goddamn delicious.

i made it to joel's and went to wrap gifts. however, i had been talking to leo all day and was stupidly horny, we're not going to talk about my actions here even though leo loved it

but getting to talk to leo was nice. he'd had a long day and was fairly tired, so he went to sleep shortly after i talked to him. but i got the gifts wrapped and done and went to bed.

now i am in bed and joel is being a goober but i am so tired and i need sleep desperately.

[nerdyqueerandjewish]

30s ask game thing: 15, 18, 27, 38, 61

Do you go down each aisle when you grocery shop, or only the ones you know you need stuff from?

Depends on the store and how big it is! If I go to Aldi or Trader Joe’s yes, they are a manageable size and I’m partially shopping based on vibes. Now, going to target or something? Absolutely not, I lose stamina half way through even when I’m on task. It’s so big and overstimulating. If I go to the co-op I avoid it because I’m trying to not buy stuff I don’t need lol.

Pro or anti tchotchkes?

Tchotchke moderate…. I’m not a clean freak by any means, but I want my surfaces to be easy to clean. I’d rather have a bigger fun item on a shelf as opposed to a bunch of little fun items that I have to move out of the way. Too many can also become visually overstimulating for me too. We do have one of those typesetting drawer shelves with little things in it - I like that

Do you prefer Boardgame Night, Build-Your-Own-Pizza Night, or Movie Night with your friends?

I wish it was board games but usually I am doing a craft project while everyone else plays them. My brain is just too tired at the end of the day! Even playing cards I’m like “does it involve counting because I’m sick of numbers.” I used to do more before I worked full time. So I’m gonna go with movie night. This weekend I watched Death Becomes Her with friends (which was great except for the fat suit part near the beginning - ugh) and Vacation Friends (which is funny - John Cena is in it).

What's the last filter you changed?

Furnace filter!! We have two cats so I try to stay on top of that one.

Do you have a favorite brunch spot?

Yes! Hot Plate in Minneapolis. It’s pretty hoppin because they were put on some top 10 list, so you gotta be ready to wait for a table but I love the vibe, very 70s, grandma’s basement. The walls are covered in paint-by-numbers. And their food is suuuuper good. It also feels like a treat because it’s not our default going-out-with-friends place.

[nordicwallartcanvas]

Turn your office into something unique in 2 steps with the office gallery wall in two ways

Having a knack for collecting art comes with the conundrum of not being able to commit to a single piece. This is why I love creating gallery walls at home. My blank, white walls have become the perfect canvas for all the art and treasures I’ve acquired over the years. One room that’s been in desperate need of color and life is our guest bedroom, which doubles as a home office. And since our baby girl will eventually take it over as her own in just a few months, it’s about time to spruce up the walls. Thank goodness for resources like Minted, who offers a wide range of one of a kind art from artists from all over the world. I love that they offer a variety of affordable frames which means in just a few days, after placing your order, a framed piece of art is at your doorstep and ready to be hung, straight out of the box. You can even choose to include the artist’s signature penciled into the corner of your print. Today, I’m sharing my tips on assembling a gallery wall in two different ways. Don’t be intimidated to just jump right in. You’ll be surprised how much character it will add to a room and truly how easy it is to seamlessly pull it together!

1.  Keep it simple

A gallery wall can be as simple as hanging 8-10 pieces of art. First, think about the silhouette you want to create on your wall. Do you want it linear, vertical, rectangular or square? Because my ceiling slants towards the right of the room, I wanted to create a diagonal line towards the left. I can’t really explain why except that I’m obsessed with symmetry. Consider the furniture in the room. Decide whether you want the art to extend or be contained by the furnishing that lay against the same wall. Next, select works of art that vary in orientation and size – you’ll want a mix of horizontal and vertical images, in small, medium and large formats. You’ll also want to think about a theme, whether it be color, subject or style. I chose a mix of photography and painting, all with pink undertones.

2.  Mix it up and make it personal:

Another option is to keep framed art at a minimum and mix in other three dimensional elements like textiles, wall art, and even personal accessories! It starts with a good foundation of just 3-5 pieces of framed art. Then, it’s as easy as looking around your house for things to add. I’ve collected so many objects and tchotchkes throughout my travels (most of which are just collecting dust in a closet) that I sorted through them and added a few findings to the wall. Sometimes it’s as easy as framing a piece of vintage textile or draping a large necklace over a frame that can add character.



[moonsdancer]

My family and I are simple people. In our factory, we made hammers. They were probably used to cut the stones you're standing on right now. / My father put hammers in the hands of the people, and they built this city. Imagine the wonders they could create if we put magic in their hands. / We need to act.

meljayvik week 2022 | prompt: craftsmanship & jayce

I love that Jayce is a skilled blacksmith and craftsman, that he can handle a gigantic forge all by himself while only breaking a few aesthetic drops of sweat, that he's clearly a compulsive tinkerer and probably "upgrades" even the most random tchotchkes for fun (see: the super nose hair clipper). I also love that he's been sketching iterations of his hextech hammer since he was a child, and that we see the schematics for said hammer way back in act 1 when the notion of having to wield such a weapon wasn't really on his radar, at least not consciously. There's something charmingly democratic about how Jayce understands magic. And it's rooted very much in his family legacy, the Talis toolmakers who're responsible for the retractable socket wrench among other innovations that have helped and improved the material lives and realities of Piltovans for decades. It's this same practical, get your hands dirty and do something approach that he brings to other arenas of his life, from the development of Hextech to his leadership as a councilor. Jayce isn't stupid or dumb, which is how he's so often described or handled in fandom discourse. He's just someone who is supremely smart and has always understood that there's a tool or a solution to "fix" or at least ameliorate any problem that he's faced with. Whether it's a hammer or magic, there must always be a way and a means to act, to make things better, to fix, to help.

His journey is about learning that sometimes the "answer" to a big problem isn't so simple, especially when the problem is complex, tangled up and terribly, tragically human. He does start to learn that lesson by the end of the season, and it turns out that his "solution" - the diplomatic peace treaty - is both the most complicated yet simple answer to the issues facing a city on the brink of war and because of that he's the one who comes up with it, not anyone else on the council. Not sure if that's irony even if we know what happens next but it makes me happy all the same.

[skyllion-uwu]

Finally made one of those Carrd things here: https://skyllion.carrd.co/

PFP is my own quick editing

Title is my current vocal stim

Extra Tumblr-exclusive things:

@sky-kinz (Webkinz blog)

@blakeworther (Dinoverse blog)

@skyllion-oc-archive (OC blog)

@sprinkle-stardust (Bailey's blog) This is a blog for my OC, Bailey! It takes place a couple years before the second half of Round and Round We Go, meaning she's about 15, doesn't know about the timeloops, and only knows Jaxon, Robin, Holmes, and Adrienne. She can't see any meta things, such as my OC blog or any tags I make about her, and she thinks Tumblr is broken because she doesn't see a follow button for anyone's blog. Feel free to ask her questions and stuff!

@mx-mind (post limit alt; follows, likes, comments from @skyllion-owo)

@skyllion-fashion-inspo (fashion stuff I save for character stuff like my OCs and my designs of Batman characters)

NSFW blog (18+ mutuals may message me for the name, minors and non mutuals please don't ask me for it. Mostly just me rambling about stuff I feel like I can't post on my main)

Tags I use under the cut

-I make a lot of commentary. If you want to, feel free to screenshot them and rb as it's own thing. I just ask you add an image description to it, either with one under the screenshot or as alt text

-I do trigger/content warnings as "#tw [thing]". Will tag suggestive content as "#suggestive" and explicit content as "#nsft" (I do not post porn).

-AI generated art (NeuralBlender, Dall E Mini, etc) goes under "ai generated". I don't tag informational posts on it that include examples since that's important

-Reblog for thing to happen goes under "superstitious post" and "rb bait". I ACCIDENTALLY TAGGED OLD ONES AS "SUSPICIOUS POST" SO BLOCK THAT TOO JUST IN CASE

-Fake news usually has an explanation in the tags that it's not real. Joking misinformation is tagged "joking misinfo". I use "tw unreality" on general stuff like something isn't real. Lemme know if I need to expand it to include more things!

-Things that are mentioned don't have a tw before it (for example, "suicide mention" is the most common example).

-suggestive vs. nsfw mention vs nsft: suggestive insinuates something NSFW. nsfw mention says something in passing. NSFT goes in detail.

-"#artistic nudity" is for pics with nudity that aren't sexual

-Please feel free to ask for tags so you can filter stuff out. I can either use a personal tag for you or if it's a common trigger I will use the same format across tags.

-"#sky screams into the void" are personal ramblings.

-"#sky vents like amogus" is specifically for venting. I almost always have rbs for these turned off, but you can like or comment unless stated otherwise. Please feel free to filter this out

-"#asks for sky" are asks. I also put the username of the submitter or "anon" if submitted anonymously

-"#cool trinkets and tchotchkes for sky" are for submitted posts! Same naming conventions for asks apply

-"#down in the deep queue sea" is my queue tag. That's right I'm using the queue now!!

-"#sky writes something" is my writing!!

-"#skyllion art" is my art!!

-"#rubber ducking with mica" is my programming tag (for games)!!

-"#skys doodly doodles" are low effort doodles I feel don't warrant the art tag

-"#micas rambling reactions" are my reactions liveblogged whenever I start a piece of media. I will tag with spoilers when necessary (eg. tag spoilers for new Deltarune chapters but wouldn't tag for Undertale since the latter media is old and widely known what happens)

-"#skyllion ocs" are original posts about my OCs!!

-Speaking of OCs, I love the Blorbos from My Brain! Thus, I'll sometimes tag stuff with these names: Jaxon, Robin, Holmes, Charles/Chuck, Bailey, Adrienne, Etienne, Shiko, Neil, Katsumi/Ryousei (formerly named Kami, so older posts will have that), Alina, Junko, Seoyeon/Trixy, Hasedonia, The Sun King (might be tagged Julius), Evanthe, Pyrite, Ophelia, Lila, Horace, Aiden, Betty Cassie, Talia, Willow, Andrew (name pending), Hunter (name pending), Eden, Mark, and Sky (written as "Sky (sona)"; they're a self insert version of myself in my stories). Fan OCs are less commonly tagged but they're Dahlia (Dinoverse OC), Nettle (Flower Kid from Smile for Me), Bee Batson (AU version of Billy Batson/Shazam), and Nova Armstrong or The Black Hole (DC/Batman OC). Feel free to ask about said OCs because I feel awkward randomly talking without people asking

-"#references" are just useful things/stuff I want to save. I'll tag things that don't apply to me but may be useful to others with this too; feel free to go through and rb what you need/want

-"#posts that if i had to see so do you" are cursed posts. I trigger warning these too but block this if you wish to spare yourself

-"#ask games" are ask games. Feel free to copy/paste a question if you wanna ask (don't just say a number though because it may be an old post and will confuse me)

-"#save for mom/my sister" is what it says on the tin. No need to worry much about this one but you get a glimpse into my offline life

-"#lorenzocore" or something involving Lorenzo is an inside joke OC with me and my sister. He loves soup and that's all you need to know. It's soup stuff

-Anything referring to Kokomo is a reference to another joke OC. We don't speak of that evil demon. His lore is very complicated and too much for a simple intro post

[marjansmarwani]

take it, it’s yours

2k || ao3

One of the ways TK shows love is through tchotchkes, Carlos learns.

A bit of cute softness for the lovely and wonderful @justaswampdemon on her birthday. Happy birthday my dear, thanks for being someone I can yell about everything from these characters to tea to life in general with. I hope you enjoy this little story from your headcanon 💗

-----------

“TK?” 

“Yeah, babe?” He hears his boyfriend call from the other room.

“What is this?” 

“What’s…” TK asks with a frown as he turns to the kitchen, confusion fleeing his face as he sees what Carlos is holding, “oh.”

Carlos simply raises an eyebrow and places the blue-green ladle on the counter as TK approaches, looking at his boyfriend expectantly. 

“It’s a ladle,” TK provides helpfully as he approaches. 

“I can see that,” Carlos deadpans. “Why does it have a face and why is it in my kitchen?” 

“It’s Nessie!” TK declares as if it should be obvious, “See?” 

He picks up the ladle and sets it upright so it stands on its own. “When it’s in a pot, the face and neck stick out,” he explains, “like the Loch Ness Monster.” 

Carlos nods slowly, looking from the ladle in question to his boyfriend. TK’s face falls. 

“You don’t like it,” he says, reaching for the ladle, “I’ll get rid of it. I’m sorry, I should have asked first.” 

Carlos reaches out a hand to stop him, covering the hand now clutching the ladle with his own, “I didn’t say that.” 

TK looks at him hopefully and Carlos smiles, “I think it’s cute, and I love the fact that you got it for me. Plus, it is pretty practical. You can never have too many ladles.”

“Are you sure? You don’t have to keep it if you don’t want to. I can get rid of it.” 

“Don’t you talk about Nessie that way,” Carlos interrupts, leaning forward to pull TK into a kiss. “She’s not going anywhere, and neither are you.” 

--------

It’s small things here and there, after that. One of those little figurines from the tea boxes on the window sill, small figurines and vases. He doesn’t question it much until one day he walks in the door and goes to dump his keys into the dish beside the door only to find what looks like a pinecone with eyes glued on staring back at him. 

“Hey babe,” TK calls out from the kitchen, where he is already in the process of plating up the takeout he had picked up on his way, “food’s almost ready to go.” 

Carlos nods and is about to thank him for picking it up, or maybe ask him how his day was, but all that comes out when he opens his mouth is a question, “Why is there a pinecone looking at me from the table?” 

TK freezes, brow furrowing in confusion before realization dawns. “Well first off, it’s not a pinecone Carlos, it’s a hedgehog.” 

“Uh huh,” Carlos agrees skeptically, peering back down at the item in question. “And why is there a hedgehog on the table?” 

“Because I saw it when I was out with Marjan today and thought it was cute. Why?” he asks, voice shifting, “Do you not like it? I can get rid of it if you don’t, I should’ve asked first, I’m…” 

But Carlos shook his head, dropping his bag by the door and crossing to the kitchen, coming up beside TK. He reached out and put a hand on his face, gently turning it so he was meeting Carlos’s gaze. 

“I didn’t say I didn’t like it TK,” he assures him softly, “and you don’t need to get rid of it. Take a breath, it’s okay.” 

He waits for TK to do so, watching as the panic leaves his expression. “Do you want to tell me what’s really going on?” he asks gently, moving his hand from TK’s face to his waist. 

“Nothing,” he says at first but at Carlos’s raised eyebrows he rolls his eyes. “Fine, something, but it’s stupid.” 

“Why don’t you let me be the judge of that,” Carlos offers and TK sighs. 

“I don’t want you to think I’m overstepping,” TK admits. “I know I bring little things in from time to time and you don’t seem to mind but every once in a while I start to wonder again. It’s just something my mom and I always had in common. She used to love picking up little funny or cute things, and it became something we did together. My dad never liked clutter - well, he still doesn’t, actually - but he used to always complain about my mom and her tchotchkes and so I would always just keep them in my room instead and I just don’t want you to ever feel like I’m taking advantage, or cluttering your house or…”

“Hey,” Carlos interjects, interrupting the spiral he could see starting. “I don’t think that, any of it. I love that you bring little things here, that you are adding little bits of yourself. It makes it feel a little bit more like our home, doesn’t it?”

He pauses, giving TK a chance to process his choice of words, and is rewarded by his eyes widening. He smiles and leans forward, pressing a kiss to TK’s cheek. “This is your home too TK,” he tells him, “in whatever capacity you want it to be. And yeah, if it starts to look like a roadside gift shop in here, we may have to have a talk about the...what was that word you used?” 

“Tchotchkes,” TK provides, “it means trinket, or knick-knack.” 

“Right,” Carlos agrees, “but a few of them? I kind of love them because it brings a little more life, and shows me that you feel at home here. Not to mention the fact that they make you happy, and I can put up with a few pinecones looking at me if it makes you happy.”

“It’s a hedgehog, Carlos,” TK tries to gripe, but the light in his eyes betrays him, “it’s cute and it’s seasonal.”

“And it makes you happy, which is all I ever want,” Carlos agrees, pressing a kiss to his forehead. “Besides, I never said I didn’t like it. It’s cute, actually.” 

--------

Carlos has a theory. 

He’s read about love languages and he knows that TK’s is physical touch, without a doubt. Not even in a sexual way; he just likes being close to Carlos, having a physical reminder that he is there, that he is real. It reveals itself in hand holding and hugs and small touches as they pass each other whether it's in the field or at home. He’s just very tactile, and Carlos loves that about him (it’s one of about roughly 230 things, but still). 

But the more and more he has watched him and spent time with him, he decides that TK has more than one. He’s not sure if it qualifies as gift giving or if it is a category all of its own but there is no denying that TK loves to give small gifts to his friends. The first time he notices is when they are out, strolling through a flea market on Saturday morning. They’re walking hand in hand when their progress is abruptly halted by TK, who stops and turns to a table to their right. He picks up a small figurine (Carlos would be lying if he said he had the faintest idea what it was actually supposed to be) with a grin and politely asks the vendor for a price. He hands over the few dollars requested with a smile and a thanks before pocketing the figurine and moving on. 

Carlos can only watch, catching up to him a few moments later, giving him a questioning look when TK meets his eyes. “For Marjan,” he explains, smiling as he reaches out to take Carlos’s hand in his again, “she’ll think it’s funny.” 

And so she does, as Carlos  finds out when she shows up at the condo later that evening. Her bright laugh draws the attention of the others and she beams at them as she shows them the small figurine - a crocodile for the native Floridian, Carlos and the others are informed -  squeezing TK’s arm in thanks as she flashes a smile at him. 

It doesn’t stop there. From time to time small and strange objects filter through the condo on their way to their intended owners. A book on cryptids for Paul, a set of exaggerated cartoonish Texas-themed salt and pepper shakers for Judd, a disgruntled cat figurine for Nancy; an inexplicable purple pig for Mateo that TK refuses to explain. They become a part of their everyday and Carlos stops noticing them, after a while. They are a part of who TK is and a testament to the love and care he has for others and the joy he takes from making them happy. 

And if that means he finds the odd figurine on the counter from time to time, Carlos will happily take that in stride. 

When TK officially moves in there is surprisingly not an influx in tchotchkes in the condo. Though Carlos supposes it had been a gradual invasion anyways; and if he had maybe purchased the matching Nessie pasta spoon and tea steeper on his own, nobody was the wiser. It’s normal now for there to be a new and unexplained small object on the edge of the counter or on the table beside the door so when Carlos sees a small object on the counter when he comes home from work on TK’s day off, he thinks nothing of it. 

It’s not until TK emerges from upstairs and they exchange greetings that he gives it a second thought because TK keeps giving it furtive looks. After a few minutes of TK’s gaze drifting towards it as they spoke Carlos raises an eyebrow. 

“Care to share with the class?” he asks drily and TK starts, looking at Carlos in surprise before his gaze turns sheepish. He reaches around him to the counter and picks up the newest tchotchke, placing it in Carlos’s hand. 

“It’s cheesy,” he starts, covering Carlos’s palm with his hand to prevent Carlos from looking at it as he spoke, “but I saw it while I was running errands today and it made me think of you. And well...I just wanted you to have a physical reminder, in case I don’t say it enough.”

Carlos studies him, gaze curious as he looks down at their hands, TK’s still covering his own and whatever the small, metal object was. TK takes a deep breath and moves his hand, giving Carlos a look at the mysterious object. 

“I know it’s stupid,” he began, “but I just wanted you to remember, you know? My heart is yours, and it always will be.” 

Carlos hears the words his boyfriend is saying, but he finds that he can’t respond. The sight of the object laying on his palm - a small, gold skeleton key with a heart on the end - has stolen all the breath from his lungs and all the words from his mind. The only thing within him now is the sense of overwhelming love for the man before him, who is watching him nervously. 

“You don’t have to do anything with it,” TK was saying as he fiddled with the strings of his hoodie. “You don’t even have to keep it if you don’t want to. I just saw it and...it seemed right.” 

TK was looking at him again and Carlos hated that he was leaving him hanging. He didn’t want the other man to get the wrong idea, but he was too overwhelmed to speak. So he did the next best thing. He reached for TK, key still clutched in his hand, and gently tipped his face up from where he was anxiously studying his feet so that their eyes met. He hoped TK could see the depth of the emotions he was feeling in them, but just in case he pulled him into a kiss, doing his best to say what words had failed to express. 

That kiss turned into another and it was several minutes before they separated long enough to breathe, and speak. And in that moment, foreheads pressed together in their kitchen and a small gold key pressed into Carlos’s palm that words finally returned to him. 

“You have mine too,” he told TK softly. “You have since the day I met you, and it’s yours for as long as you want.”

[tryingmybestpls]

As The World Caves In

Pairing: Steve Rogers x Stark!Fem!Reader

Summary: Steve deals with the loss of his wife after the Snap.

Rating: R?

Word Count: 3.3k

Warnings: Grief, depression, feelings of loneliness, death, graphic depiction of a death

A/N: hi yes I wanted to get this out before TFATWS got out. I have never liked the ending Steve got in Endgame, so I wanted to write a new one for him!

Steve would like to say that he lost his wife like everyone else did that day.

He would love to say that she turned into ash like the rest of his teammates. He would love to say that they had some tear-filled goodbye before she turned into nothing. He would love to have that hope that might be able to come back.

But he can't.

Because she actually died that day in Wakanda. Right before his eyes.

It had happened after Thanos had tossed Steve aside. Y/N had charged at the Titan, angry at the purple being for hurting her husband. He caught her in mid-air, his golden gauntlet shimmering in the sunlight as it wrapped tightly around her throat. Steve had scrambled to stand up, his eyes on her.

Y/N coughed and sputtered, her face turning colors as she kicked, her fingers trying to pry the large gold covered fingers off of her throat. And while it felt like hours for Steve, it had only been seconds. Seconds. Seconds he had held her in their air, seconds she had suffered as the Titan cut off her oxygen. Thanos had smirked before tightening his grip, a sickening crack filling the air. Steve couldn't breathe as her body was tossed towards him. It seemed to move in slow motion, bouncing when it hit the ground.

When her body finally came to a stop in front of him, her head lolling to the side as the cloud of dust settled. Steve still had hope somehow. He prayed to the Lord above as he looked at her, hoping that she was somehow still alive. Blood vessels had burst in her eyes and blood trickled out of her mouth. There was a darkening bruise on her throat, her neck was bent at an unnatural angle. Steve had been unable to move, unable to breathe. Within an instant, she was gone. His wife, the love of his life, ripped away from him in mere seconds.

And then his friends and teammates turned into ash all around him.

The worst moment of his life was when he watched his wife die right in front of him. The second worst is having to tell her brother that she was dead.

After Tony had come down the ramp of the ship, Steve had ran over to help him down that last view steps and over to Pepper. Stark told Steve that Peter was gone and in that moment of silence that followed, Tony's eyes scanned the small group of survivors for his adopted sister. Tears sprung up in the man's eyes as he looked back at Steve. The Captain's throat constricts with emotion, tears brimming in his eyes as he just nods, unable to get the words out. Pepper ran up in that moment, wrapping her arms around Tony just as tears rolled down his face.

Y/N is the only one they actually bury. Her funeral is a quiet affair, with only the remaining members of their team and Pepper in attendance. The couple had never talked about what might happen or what they would want if either of them died. Tony tells him that she would want to be buried next to their parents, so she is. He makes sure his baby sister has the best coffin money can buy, the best headstone-everything. Her funeral is the last time Steve and Tony talk to each other.

Steve gets an apartment she would have loved. It's right around the corner from the restaurant where they had their first date and a few streets away from the cemetery. There was those big windows that Y/N had always expressed fondness over. The apartment also had built in shelves that lined one wall of the living room area, which had been another selling point for him. One day Steve hoped that he would be able to fill them with her many books and tchotchkes, but now they stood empty, the shelves gathering dust. Her collection of novelty mugs weren't in the cabinets, no they were still wrapped up in newspapers within one of the many boxes. He had planned on unpacking all of the things that had once filled their shared room at the compound, but the boxes stay in the second bedroom, all piled up in the middle of the room. He couldn't find it in himself to go through all of her old things, didn't want to be bombarded with emotions and memories.

That first year is the hardest. Learning to live without her tears him to shreds. Steve hardly sleeps, hardly eats. He spends a lot of his time alone, dwelling over what he could've done differently. Natasha tries to reach out to him, but Steve distances himself. He tells himself that he needs to do this alone, needs to try to get through it by himself. Y/N always feels like she's just out of his grasp and he prays and begs to have her back with him. His prayers go unanswered.

Natasha appears outside his door on the one year anniversary of Thanos's snap and Y/N's death, holding a bottle of vodka in one hand and Asgardian mead in the other. They sit together in the kitchen and drink as vigils and memorials take place around the world. For the first time, Steve talks about how much he misses his wife. The two heroes talk all night about each person they missed, both of them wondering aloud how were they supposed to live without them.

By the end of the second year, Steve is getting used to living without her. He hates it. He hates how much that ache in his chest has lessened. He hates that he can see a picture of her without a lump forming in his throat. Steve is able to talk about her more and starts a grief support group. Sure he sometimes wakes up and hopes she's there, but that's getting less and less frequent. Steve's afraid that his memories of her are going to slip away from him, terrified of forgetting her.

So he starts to draw her. He's desperate to hold onto every memory of her, so he fills up page after page, sketchbook after sketchbook of nothing but Y/N. The drawings aren't perfect, but he is able to cement those memories in his mind. Steve wants to make sure that he can remember her face without having to study a picture. So when he remembers something about her, he puts it onto a piece of paper. Y/N on their wedding day. Y/N when they were on the run and she fell asleep in the Quinn Jet. Y/N brushing her teeth early in the morning, her silhouette lit up by the almost golden bathroom light. Y/N the first day they met.

Natasha sees them once when she stops by to see him. One of the sketchbooks is left open on the table and she sneaks a peek when Steve goes to the other room to get a sweater. There on the page in incredible detail is a sketch of her best friend with tears in her eyes, her mouth open in shock. She doesn't know that this is the face she made when she learned that Bucky had killed her parents and Steve knew. Natasha looks away, her cheeks burning. She feels like she saw something too personal, too raw, and she shuts the journal before Steve returns.

When the third, fourth, and then fifth year rolls around- well Y/N has been gone longer than they were together as a couple. Steve has gotten used to her being gone. He's able to walk past the room holding all of the boxes without stalling. It gets easier to talk about her, easier to share stories about her to his group. He still misses her, it's just easier for him to live now. His wedding band never leaves his ring finger, needing to have a part of her with him always. Steve still loves her and he doesn't think he can ever love someone as much as he loves his wife.

And then Scott Lang reappears.

Steve wants to reverse what Thanos did, wants to bring back his friends even if that means he cannot bring back his wife. That ache in is chest returns as they put together their heist plan. Steve feels like there's a ghost following him around while he's back at the compound. His shoulders feel heavy again and he tries to put on a brave face as the people around him get hopeful. He tries to be happy, knowing that he will be getting his friends back and fixing what had happened, but he can't help but be upset.

-

Steve gets to see her when they go back.

It's after he knocks out the younger version of himself. Steve is standing over himself, breathing hard, and holding Loki's scepter tightly in his hands.

"That is America's Ass." He comments, looking behind him before back down to the unconscious man. He needs to meet back up with the others so that they can-

"It definitely is." A familiar voice calls out from in front of him. Steve stills, his breath catching in his throat before he slowly lifts his head. There she is, standing before him with a smirk on her face. Y/N is dressed in her navy blue suit, her hair messy from the battle she just went through. Her face is dirty, her lip split and there is a long cut across her cheekbone. His mouth goes dry and he's suddenly tongue tied, like he was when they first met.

Steve remembers how nervous and awkward he was when they were first introduced to each other. Y/N gave him a million dollar smile and just like that, he knew he was a goner. Steve had stumbled over saying his name, which had then made her laugh-God, that laugh. That laugh had made him warm all over, made butterflies swarm around in his stomach. And in the past five years, those butterflies had been dormant and now, now they're wide awake.

"You're not my Steve." Y/N announces as she walks towards him, studying him. Steve's heart is beating fast and he wants to reach out and hold her close, wanting to tell her how much he loves her. My Steve. God, he misses her. He misses everything about her.

"How can you tell?" He asks, a tiny smile appearing on his face. Y/N chuckles, taking seeing two Steve's surprisingly well. But then again, she had just got done fighting aliens and a literal god so he supposes that things have been weirder.

"My Steve won't even look me in the eye. He blushes when I look at him. When I look at you...you just look so sad. That's how I know you're not Loki." She answers, stopping in front of him. Steve studies her face, taking in every little detail because he knows that this is the last time he'll see her.

"I-I'm that easy to read, huh?" Steve retorts and she laughs again, nodding. God, he misses that sound. He misses her so fucking much that it makes his chest ache. Y/N's smile falters as she looks at him, watching as his smile drops.

"I'm not going to pretend what is exactly going on here, okay? Obviously you are going through something and it's pretty clear you are on a some type of mission." She tells him, motioning to the scepter in his hands. Steve looks down to his hand before looking at her. He knows that she should be calling for back up because by the way people keep speaking through her comm Y/N must know that things are going south.

"I'll bring it back, I promise." Steve replies and the smile returns to her face. Y/N glances down to the unconscious man on the floor before looking at him.

"I know you will. I never saw you, new Steve. And don't worry, I'll make sure you don't choke on your tongue." She teases, gesturing to the passed out version of himself. Steve's smile returns to his face as she continues, "But I do expect some sort of explanation when you come back."

"Of course. I'll be back before you even know I was gone." Steve says, wanting to say so many other things that he knows that he just can't tell her. He opens his mouth again when her comm once again crackles to life. Y/N's eyes widen and she gestures for him to leave. Steve's mouth snaps shut and he nods, quickly walking away.

Tony would later tell Steve when they're in 1970 that he started crying when he saw his little sister.

-

When his teammates return on the battlefield, she isn't among them. He knows she won't be coming through a portal, but some part of him still holds out hope for some reason. Yet, there is no sadness inside of him on that battlefield. No, rage has pushed all of that sadness aside, filling him up completely.

When he fought against Thanos and his army, he did so with every ounce of strength in his body. Steve wanted to avenge the death of Y/N, wanted to kill Thanos for what he did to her. Steve has never felt so angry in his entire life. He wanted to be the one who ended the Titan's life. He ignored the large gash in his arm and tore through aliens.

And in the end, it's Tony who takes out Thanos. He is the one who avenges his baby sister's death, but the price he pays his high. And Steve has to watch another Stark die.

He feels so guilty that he is alive and both of the Stark siblings are gone, both of them buried side by side, right next to their parents.

There is just so much death in his life, so much damn loss. And he's tired. Steve is exhausted. He hoped that bringing back his friends and the half of the universe that had disappeared because of the Snap would make him feel better, but it hadn't. No, instead that hurt has returned with full force. His chest feels like its about to cave in on itself, like his ribs piercing his lungs and heart-God, everything seems unbearable. All he wants is for the earth to open up and swallow him whole.

And then, he is reminded that he has to return the stones.

And while every single part of the journey is noteworthy, he saves returning the scepter for last.

Y/N is sitting beside the unconscious version of himself when he returns. She turns his head to look at him, a smile on her face. For a moment, he considers staying here with her, reliving every single moment of their life and their relationship as it happens.

But he knows that he can't.

It wouldn't be right for him to stay here with her, knowing everything that he knows. Steve has had his time with her, time that he will treasure for the rest of is life. He knows that if he returns back to his timeline, there will be a lot of hurting that he will have to go through. Steve knows that it would be so much easier to stay here with Y/N, but he won't let himself do it.

So Steve explains to Y/N why he needed the scepter, leaving out her death and the death of her brother. After he finishes, she stays quiet for a moment, processing all of this new information. He just waits and sits there.

"Don't tell me what happens, please. I want the cards to fall where they may. I-I want to be surprised." Y/N tells him suddenly, glancing at the unconscious man before looking at Steve. The Captain understands exactly what she means. She must know somehow that she ends up with him, something on his face his showing his hand. Y/N had always told him that he had a shitty poker face. A smile stretches across his face, nodding. His wedding ring-hidden under his gloves-feels so much heavier, like its weighing his arm down.

A pit of dread opens up in Steve's stomach as his time draws to an end. He thanks and apologizes to Y/N as he hands over the scepter. She just smiles, telling him not to worry about it as she puts it back into its case. He must look as upset as he feels because before he leaves, Y/N wraps her arms around him. It surprises Steve, but he quickly wraps his arms back around her. Steve holds her tightly, letting his eyes shut. He knows that this will be the last time he'll ever hold her and he just savors it, wishing that it could last forever. Wishing that he could stay here forever.

But everything has to come to an end.

When he says goodbye, he knows that Y/N doesn't understand that this is him saying goodbye to her for the last time. Steve finally gets to tell her goodbye and even though he isn't able to tell Y/N how much he loves her, it's okay. It's okay because he will be able to tell her how much he loves her one day, even if that day isn't today. They'll be reunited again. He just needs to wait.

She tells him goodbye and he takes one final look at her before he returns back to his timeline, back into a world where she's gone.

That night, he returns to his empty apartment, the silence almost deafening. That hole in his chest has reopened and he is in so much pain that everything just feels numb.

He goes through the motions of getting ready for bed, washing the day's events off of him hoping that this would also wash away the numbness, trying to pretend like nothing of importance had happened hours earlier. When he crawls into the same bed he has been sleeping in for the past five years-a bed she has never touched-he realizes how empty it is without her. He can't feel her here like he can at the Compund-No, here she doesn't follow behind him. No, this is a place she has never been so she can't be here. The apartment is suddenly too big for him-everything is too big for him. It's too big and too empty and too fucking quiet-

It's like the string that was holding him together the past five years has finally snapped and he just starts crying. The Captain's body shakes with sobs as he lays in that empty room. Steve had thought he had processed her death and grieved already, but he hadn't. Until this very moment, it had never fully set in that Y/N was dead. It was never fully real that she was gone. He knew that she was, but some part of him was still holding out hope that somehow she was going to come back. If Bucky could come back, surely she could have as well. But Y/N isn't Bucky and so she never came back.

It took until today for him to fully realize that she was gone. Y/N was gone and there was nothing he can do about it. There was no stones to gather, no traveling through dimensions for him to do. Steve had to live the rest of his life without the love of his life, in a time where he'll never belong in. That small flicker of hope that had been silently living inside of him had been snuffed out, leaving an empty dark space inside of him, leaving him cold and empty.

The only hope that remained is that they would be reunited one day in death, but until then Steve would be forced to carry around his pain where ever he went.