#i love relationships that aren't cut and dry romance

[waitineedaname]

I was about to make a post about how the best ship dynamics are "wanting to tear each other apart (horny)" and "codependent queerplatonic relationship" but then I realized I was just describing the homestuck quadrants. The nature of humanity etc etc

[pandora-writes-one-piece]

HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!!! 🥳🎈🎂🎁

“What if I kissed you right now? Would you stop me?" with Kid (fem!reader, NSFW) pretty please? <3

Hello, anon! Thank you for the birthday wishes (it feels weird still thanking birthday wishes when it's been more than a month!). Thank you so much for your request, it turned out to be one of my favourites! I hope you enjoy reading it as much as I enjoyed writting it!

Art: Here; Artist: @wesaier (pleeeease follow, such amazing art!)

Reverence 🔞

Word Count: 6302

Tags: Fem!Reader; Alternate Universe - Modern Setting; Kid has both arms; Posessive!Kid; Soft!Kid; Reverent!Kid; Fluff and Romance; Love Confessions; Body Worship; Just Worship in general; NSFW; MDNI; Fingering; Vaginal Penetration; Oops, no protection (wrap it up, peeps);

Special Warning: English is not my first language, I apologise for any possible spelling or grammar mistakes.

Summary: You and Kid are neighbours and very good friends. You flirt a lot, all in good fun, obviously, and he makes fun of every single one of your loser dates. When the last date goes south and you call Kid for help, will your relationship blosom into something else?

|Masterlist|

The clock’s nearly at the hour, but you're almost ready anyway, just some finishing touches on your hair and makeup, and you'll be done. “I look hot.” You say as a pep talk to your reflection and do a little twirl. Hot dress, nice makeup, perfect hair, you're ready for a nice date in town. 

And you're more than ready for it to end up with a nice, hot lay. Third-date rule be damned to hell. You've been in the longest dry spell since forever, and your toys aren't quite cutting it at the moment, but the dating scene isn't really offering the best choice of male specimens around. Maybe this time you'll get lucky. 

Just as the clock turns to the hour, the doorbell rings. You give yourself one last nod before heading out of the bathroom and opening the door with a bright smile. One that immediately falls at the sight that greets you. 

“Kid?”

“Well, well, well. Look at ye, all dolled up for a night in town? Another one of yer charity cases ye insist on callin’ dates?”

A twitch of a smile tugs at the corner of your lips, but you don't fully smile, instead you cock your head to the side and place a hand on your hip. “Hey, at least I get out of the house, you big hermit.” 

You’ve known Kid for almost a year, since you moved into the building. He looks menacing and gruff with all his ear piercings, huge size, and spiky red hair, but you suspect he's a big softie on the inside. You and he flirt and banter like there's no tomorrow and, admittedly, he's been the star of a few of your fantasies, but neither of you has decided to take things further. Perhaps because living in the same building has every chance of making it awkward if things go wrong. Still, you're good friends. 

He owns a mechanic’s garage and has saved your ass more times than you can count. Be it because of car troubles, leaking faucets, or visiting snakes - yes, that’s happened. He’s always there for you, and he’s the first person you go to when you’re in trouble. You have thought of him with more fondness than you would for a normal friend, but just like you two never pushed the limits of your friendship for sex, you wouldn’t even consider bending them for romantic involvement. 

“What are ye yappin’ about? I just got in! Been working till now.”

He moves past you and makes himself comfortable on your couch, manspreading while you search around for the perfect pair of heels to complement your dress. 

“All work and no play, Kid? No wonder you're no fun. Hey, do these work?” You strut around in the highest pair of heels you own, ones that make your legs go on for days. Kid's eyes follow you around as he focuses on your shoes, then his eyes follow your legs, bum - you give him a few poses so he can judge - chest, and finally settles on your face. His eyes seem darker, and there's no hint of his usual smirk on his lips. 

Clearing his throat, he averts his gaze with just the barest flush on his cheeks. “They work alright. Maybe too good.” He mutters. “Who’s the asshole?” Kid checks his watch and grins. “He's already ten minutes late, are you sure he's worth it? Don't even put up the effort.”

“Maybe he got lost?” You try, with a heavy sigh. It’s a setup date. A work friend's cousin or something like that. He's hot, and today that's all that really matters. 

“Aye, aye. Ye do know how to pick’em. Ye always choose the random losers to go out on dates.” He lets out a loud, barking laugh. “I told ye before, I’ll say it again: ye don’t need to leave the building if ye want company. I’m right here, lass.”

His cocky smirk is endearing, and that familiar warmth that comes from his flirting and all the attention he spares you always manages to make you smile like a silly little girl, but just before you manage to answer him, the doorbell rings again

“Oh, it's him. Kid, get out.” Kid sighs and gets up, standing behind you with an intimidating stance as you open the door. “Hi! I was afraid you weren't going to show up.” You try to lighten the mood with a small giggle, and Kid mutters something behind you. Your date smiles widely, barely notices Kid, and openly stares at you, taking you in head to toe. 

“Well, the photo my cousin showed does not do you justice. Had I known, I would've come faster.” Oh, God. Is he really going to be just another asshole? You can already feel it. 

Kid growls behind you and steps out of your apartment, making sure your date acknowledges his presence now, but you continue speaking, trying to defuse the situation. “This is my friend, Kid. He was just leaving.” You emphasise the last words and raise your brows at Kid, who merely grunts. “Shall we go?”

“Oi, lass, better take a coat, no?” Kid’s scowl deepens as he gives you another once-over, clearly catching all the ogling your date is giving you. 

“Don't worry, friend, I'll make sure she stays warm.” 

And before Kid says - or does - anything to your date before it even has the chance to start, you push him down the hallway so he can go to his house. “Bye, Kid. Don't wait up.”

-*-

The date sucks. Your date is obnoxious, self-centred, arrogant, and a downright prick. By dessert, you're dying to go home. His conversations are dull, and he barely lets you speak, instead filling every opportunity with something remarkable about himself. 

Plus, he makes you split the bill. 

When you make it outside the restaurant, he sets his hand on your lower back, and you warm a bit, thinking he's about to pull you close and trade places with you, obeying the sidewalk rule like a gentleman. Instead, the prick gropes your ass. 

“Can you just take me home?” You grunt, clearly over this date, so he leads you to his car. 

-*-

Kid keeps tossing and turning in his bed. He needs to sleep. He has to get up early in the morning. But you're still not home. He doesn't mean to pry, but he always hears the soft clicks of your heels in the hallway and the setting of your lock in place when you enter your home. Only when he hears those sounds can he rest at ease. If not, he keeps wondering if you're alright, if you're hurt, if your prick of a date tried something, or worse… if you actually liked him and he's going to have to get used to seeing you with some other man who’s not him. 

A heavy sigh parts his lips, and he's wondering if he'll be able to get up in the morning if he indulges in a few glasses of scotch. He's considering taking his chances when his phone rings. It's you. Kid’s heart skips a beat, his head immediately considering all the possible wrong things that may have happened as he presses the green button to take your call. 

“Lass?” 

“Kid, thank God you're awake. My date's car broke down. Can you come and… fix it?”

What the fuck? 

“No! It's almost midnight, I'm not going there to fix his car so ye two can get laid. Grab a cab!” 

He's actually pissed you called just for that. Like he gives two shits about helping the asshole get laid. With you! 

“Kid… please, can you come?” Except there's something else in your voice, a vulnerability he's never heard before, almost as if you're scared of something, on edge. 

Has the bastard done something to you? 

“Send me yer location. Now.” He gets dressed in the blink of an eye, packing his pocket knife before leaving the house. 

-*-

You're so cold. No, that's putting it lightly, it literally feels like you're stranded in the North Pole. You should've just brought a jacket like Kid said. But then again, how could you have guessed you'd be standing in the gusting wind with nothing but your skimpy dress on? You were supposed to be inside a restaurant, then the car, and then, if everything went well, your house and your bed. 

But now, your date is inside the car with a bloody - probably broken - nose, cursing you, and you're outside with your pepper spray ready in hand in case the asshole tries anything else. 

After what feels like forever, you hear the loud rumbling of Kid's motorcycle and let out the biggest sigh of relief ever. Seconds later the headlights of his Harley Davidson shine on the curb and he stops the bike in front of you. As soon as he steps out and removes his helmet, his usual scowl turns into a full frown, teeth baring as he glances from you, to your hand, and to your prick of a date. Without a word, he removes his leather jacket and drapes it over your shoulders, helping you pass your arms through the sleeves. While he's zipping it up, he growls. “What the fuck happened?”

Still shivering, you sigh into the warmth of the jacket, inhaling Kid's familiar scent: metal, gasoline, and something musky that feels like home. Then you shrug and pout. “He got handsy. I don't like liberties, so I punched him.”

You can see Kid fighting off an amused smirk. “Ye broke his nose?”

“Just a little.” You whine. 

Kid looks at you, chin up and a full smirk on his lips now. Then he pats your head. “That's my girl.”

Just on cue, the asshole opens up his car door, and Kid grins at the sight. The prick’s eyes are already darkening with bruises, his nose looks crooked, and there are blood splatters all over him. 

“You the mechanic? Figured.” He scoffs. “Fix my car, then! I want to get out of here and away from that crazy bitch.”

You flinch and shake your head. That was a wrong move. If he thinks you're crazy, he's about to get a dose of Eustass Kid he won't forget. 

“Kid, there’s no need to hurt him anymore. I don’t want him to call the cops.”

Kid chuckles low, reaches into his pocket, and takes out his trusted pocket knife, twirling it in his hand like a toy. “Listen here, buddy.” Kid pins the man to his car with a mere look. The poor bloke nearly trips over his feet just to gain some distance. “When ye get home tonight, yer going to say a little prayer to whatever angel’s watchin’ over you, because if the lady - not a crazy bitch, ye asshole - didn't tell me not to hurt ye, ye’d leave here with a lot more than just a broken nose.” Kid laughs some more as he pulls back. “But I'll fix yer car, I'll fix it up real good.”

Popping the hood open, Kid starts cutting wires with his knife. You don't know shit about mechanics, but you’re pretty sure that cutting those wires isn’t going to make the car start. 

“Hey, hey! What are you doing? You're not fixing it!”

“No?” Kid closes the hood, drags the pocket knife along the side of the car, and slashes two tires. “Oops. Maybe I'm just not a very good mechanic.” Kid rounds the car and slashes the other two tires, stopping in front of the prick again. “But I'm not that bad. I'm goin’ to give ya two options, ye arse. One, ye stay in yer car ‘till mornin’ and try to get a tow to collect this piece of junk. Two, ye start walkin’ and pray you reach town by mornin’.”

“What?” The man asks, eyes wide and scared. 

“Oh, the important part. I'll be callin’ every shop around so they can refuse ye service, but they only open in the mornin’. So if ye want yer car fixed, better start walkin’ and pray ye reach a shop before I call ‘em.” 

“But, but… we're in the middle of nowhere! It'll take all night to get to town!” He whines, a trickle of blood still dripping from his crooked nose. “And I'm hurt!”

Kid leans in, his scowling face almost on top of the asshole, and you revel at the way he cowers in fear. “Should've thought of that before ye groped a feel, aye, bastard?” Then Kid pulls his fist back, and the man screams, but Kid just laughs at his cowardice, turns his back to him, and pockets his knife. “I'd start walkin’ if I were ye.”

You smirk as you hear the car lock and watch your failed date’s retreating form. 

“Thanks, Kid.” Your words are a mere mumble. You don't really want to admit that you should've just stayed home, like Kid told you to. But he merely grunts as he walks to his bike, plucking his helmet from the handlebars and placing it over your head with a soft pat. 

“Aye, lass.” His thick fingers reach beneath the helmet, grazing your skin as he fastens the strap tightly to fit your smaller head. The fierceness of his bronze gaze as he stares through the open visor makes you shiver for reasons that have nothing to do with the cold. With another grunt and a muffled curse, he hooks two fingers under the helmet and pulls you close, making you stumble and face him with wide-open eyes. “No more asshole dates. Got it?” His gaze burns into yours, and you nod just before he slams your visor down and lets go of the helmet. “Let's get out of here.”

As soon as he turns on the bike, revving the engine, you feel hot tears stream down your cheeks. You were acting tough and badass, but things could've gone terribly wrong tonight. You could've frozen instead of punching him; he could've manhandled you and forced you into whatever he wanted; instead of a bruised up ego, you could've ended up much worse. Now that the adrenaline is wearing off, you can’t seem to keep the tears away.

No one will see you cry anyway.

So you wrap your arms tight around Kid, your knees pressing into his sides as you fix your feet on the pegs. You're safe now. Kid has always brought you a sense of safety, even though you never really needed it before. That's why you called him tonight, not because he's a mechanic, but because you needed him. Not even to take care of the guy - you certainly did that - but just knowing he would come if you asked… that's everything. 

The ride is long until you get home, so you can cry it all out now. He won't notice.  

Except he does notice, because his big hand wraps around your knee, squeezing tightly and caressing it after. The soft gesture only makes you sob harder, so you hold him even tighter. 

You notice his heavy scowl when he tilts his head back. “Ye alright there, lass?” You try to speak, but if you open your mouth, you know that you'll only sob, so you just squeeze him tighter. Kid grunts and, after a moment, he slows down the bike and turns onto a smaller road, driving you to a secluded clearing surrounded by trees. 

As soon as the bike stops, you scramble to get off, unzip the jacket, leaving it open and fumble with the helmet strap, your fingers shaking like leaves. “Oi, oi, calm down, lass.” His fingers move swiftly as he helps you unstrap the helmet and sets it on the handlebars. “What's wrong?”

You shake your head, swallowing tears and wiping your face clean. Kid reaches out, hand in the air as he tries to cup your cheek, but you take a step back and bite your lower lip, stifling another sob. “I’m fine.” You mutter without meeting his gaze. Your voice wavers on the words, and you sound weak. “It’s nothing. I don’t need coddling.”

Kid scoffs slightly, his eyebrow raising as he takes a step back, giving you the space you clearly need. “Yer shakin’ like a damned leaf. Don’t need to act tough. It’s just me here.” The softness beneath his rough tone makes you want to cry harder, so you just nod. “Yer tough as steel, lass, I know that. But even steel gets bent now and then. And it's okay.”

Another tear escapes your eyes, and you swipe the sleeve of Kid’s jacket against your face, angrily, your shoulders squaring as you raise your chin, a humourless laugh escaping your lips, even though your eyes don’t meet his. “I guess I should’ve listened to you, huh? You kept telling me not to bother with random losers who don’t deserve me… and yet… I didn't listen.”

Your words carry all the weight of the world in them. Unspoken possibilities of ignored ‘what ifs’. If you had listened to Kid, would you feel less vulnerable? If you hadn’t dressed so provocatively, would the asshole still have tried something?

“Don’t go there, lass. Ye don’t gotta blame yerself for the actions of an arse.” His fingers inch forward, flexing and grasping at the air, like he wants to hold you or comfort you. Like he means to put your broken pieces back together so he can fix you. “Ye didn’t do anythin’ wrong.”

“But what if I did?” You ask, exasperated, arms stretching wide as a hiccup fights its way up your throat. “He said so himself: ‘why are you denying me when you’re dressed like a slut? It’s like you’re asking for it!’ So what if I was? Asking for it? What if I had dressed–..”

“No!” Kid walks forward, his hands cupping your face so you finally look at him. “Ye weren’t asking for anythin’. If he can’t keep it in his pants, that’s on him. Not ye.” Kid nearly growls, you can almost feel the anger seething through his pores. It’s almost as if he’s weighing getting back on the bike and finding your date to hurt him. 

You step back, breaking contact again. “But what if I froze, Kid? What if I didn’t have it in me to punch him? To push him? It all happened so fast… I could’ve done something different, I–...”

“Ye did what ye had to do. Yer strong as fuck, and ye showed him that. I don’t think that nose is ever gonna heal straight.” Kid cocks his head and shoves your shoulder playfully, trying to distract you. “Ye got a mean hook.”

A semblance of a laugh leaves your lips, and you turn your hand into a fist, swinging it in the air. “Yeah, I know. I locked it all the way back like this, and then… Bam! Right on the nose!” You swing straight for Kid, trying to alleviate the tension.

He barks a laugh and grabs your wrist mid-air, stopping your swing. “So strong, lass. If I were a fly, I’d be dead right now.” You chuckle, and some of the dread from before leaves your chest. Kid’s eyes fall on your bruised knuckles, and they soften. “It was a shite situation ye were put in. It was not yer fault. There was nothin’ ye could’ve done different, got it?” He gently kisses your knuckles before caressing them with his thumb.

“I just… I… God, this is so stupid.” You let out a frustrated sigh. “I’m lonely, Kid. It’s stupid, and I know it. I don’t need a man to be fulfilled, but I am. I’m lonely.” Shaking your head, you remove your hand from his grip and hide your face in your hands. 

“Lonely?” Kid repeats your words, his voice rougher again. “What do ye mean? Ye got me, aye?”

Your laugh strikes suddenly, mirthful at first, then simmering down to a resigned smile. “That’s what you said. You told me I didn’t even need to leave the building if I wanted company.”

He smirks and takes a step closer to you. “Exactly. But I didn’t mean it like ye don’t deserve the world, lass. I meant it like… like I can be the one to give ye that world, if ye let me.” His cheeks flush a bit red, his voice is still rough, but his eyes are filled with gentleness.

Your gaze meets his again, and you blink several times. He’s looking at you like nothing else matters in the world. Almost as if you and he are the only important thing happening right now and you have the distinct feeling that if there were a war raging around you, you would still be the only thing that mattered to him. 

“Tell me, lass. What if I kissed ye right now, hm?” His hands grab yours, his calloused thumb tracing circles on your knuckles. “Would ye stop me?”

What?

Your chest heaves with heavy breaths as your heart hammers away. You don’t want to stop him at all. You want him. You’ve wanted him for a while, and your tired brain tells you that maybe that’s why none of your dates worked. Because, unconsciously, they were not the ones your heart and body craved.

Your eyes soften as you take another step closer to Kid. “Why don’t you give it a try?” The whispered words are a promise of compliance, and Kid lets out a shaky growl before leaning down and taking your lips in his. His hand finds your neck, and he entwines his fingers through your locks, his mouth claiming yours as his other hand finds your waist and pulls you closer.

You sigh into the kiss, clenching his shirt with your hands, moulding yourself into his body like he’s your lifeline. This is all you’ve ever wanted, and you can’t even begin to fathom why you thought this was crossing a line. 

Breathless, you both pull back while Kid’s hands cup your cheeks, his gaze never leaving yours. “Kid… I want more.” You plead, your nails digging into his muscular chest.

“Ye sure, lass?” The roughness in his voice tells you he’s as overwhelmed as you are. “Because if I start, I’m not gonna want to stop.”

The words make your stomach flip, and you grin, grabbing his shirt and pulling him closer to you. “I don’t want you to stop.” Then his lips are on yours again. The kiss is more urgent, fiery, and hungry. His hands roam your sides, settling on your hips and pulling you impossibly closer. He pulls back a smidge, breaths still mingling as he kisses his way down your jawline, his hand settling on your neck and tilting it to the side for better access. 

“All this time watchin’ ye leave the apartment to go on dates with losers.” Kid nibbles your neck and sucks, pulling a mewl from your lips. “Knowin’ they’d never treat ye right, like ye deserve. None of them knew what a gem ye are.” Another lick and bite on the curve of your neck makes you gasp and roll your eyes, your arms wandering up and holding Kid by his neck.

With a quick pull, Kid lifts you off the ground, and you wrap your legs around his waist, feeling your dress ride up with the action, not caring one bit. He backtracks you to the bike and sets you sideways on the seat. As you fix your stare on his fiery eyes, all you can see is hunger and devotion, and that sends a thrill through your spine.

“I only want you, Kid.” You pull him down again, allowing him to take your tongue in his with languid strokes of passion. His fingers trace your collarbone and slither beneath the jacket to your shoulders. With a tug, he pulls the jacket off, and you shimmy out of the fabric, leaving your arms bare for him to caress. 

“Damn right. I know how to treat ye right. Ye’ll see. Fuckin’ losers. Night after night, agonisin’ when ye’d choose one to be yer boyfriend.” He growls near your ear, his fingers never stopping their silent worship on your body, lighting fires with each stroke and igniting a heat between your thighs that starts to demand attention. He pulls back for a moment, placing his thumb and forefinger on your chin, tilting it up so you can meet his eyes through the fog of desire that clouds them. 

“Five.”

“What?” You ask, still dazed, your body tingling from all the kisses and touches he’s laying on you.

“I watched ye go out with five losers this month alone.” Five? You can barely remember three, that’s how unmemorable they were. Kid leans in, brushing your ear with his lips, his other hand travelling to your nipple and toying with it through the fabric, making you suck in a breath. “That’s how many times ye’ll come for me tonight, lass. To make sure ye forget those losers.”

Five times?

“Kid, I–...” You begin, but he cuts your rambling with another soul-shattering kiss, his hands plucking your breast from the confines of your skimpy dress and fully groping it. Instinctively, you buck your hips against him, trying to grind him or feel some friction, anything. 

“Calm down, lass. We have plenty of time. I’m not gonna rush anythin’. I told ye, I’m gonna treat ye right.” He lowers his lips, tracing a line of kisses from your neck to your collarbone, and then he takes your nipple into his mouth, sucking and twirling it against his teeth, pulling a deep moan from your lips. “Fuck, ye sound better than I ever imagined.”

Kid lets go of you and climbs onto the seat of the bike. You’re about to turn to him, but he turns you around, making you face the handles of the bike, your back flush against his chest. Then he spreads your legs open, placing them over his thighs. You shiver when the cold wind hits your sensitive spot, your panties already soaked through. “Lean back, lass.” 

Breathing faster and faster from anticipation, you melt against him, feeling his taut muscles ripple against your back. Your dress has ridden all the way to your hips, baring your legs to him and leaving you exposed. Kid uses one hand to tease your nipple while still kissing your neck and the curve of your shoulder. Then his other hand, traces the inside of your thigh, creeping closer to your core, making you gasp and hold your breath in want and need. 

“Kid!” Your plea is evident, but you know he’s going to take his time with you. Everything about the situation has you on edge already. The powerful feel of his bike beneath you, his strong muscular frame enveloping you, his fingers hovering just near your entrance.

“So perfect, look at ye. See how well ye fit against me? Like ye were made just for me?” His fingers trace your slit over the panties, testing and teasing. “See? All wet and ready for what I have to give to ye. I can be all ye ever want, lass. Just let me.”

“Yes, Kid, please. I want you to.” His scent is intoxicating. It clings to you like a second skin, enveloping you in safety, warmth, and so much desire. 

With a desperate grunt, Kid shifts your panties and plunges one digit inside your slit, turning your plea into a wanton moan as you arch your back, your hands finding purchase against his muscular thighs. 

“So wet for me. Look at ye. I want to hear you scream my name, lass. Every time I make you come, yer gonna scream my name. Yer mine now. I’m never gonna let ye go.” He inserts another finger, his palm stroking and pressing your clit, and damn it if you’re not just there at the edge, ready to come undone for him. “It’s like I’ve known yer body all my life. I know how to make ye feel good, aye?”

“Yes, Kid, yes!” Your head lolls back as you mewl, his ministrations making your head spin, turning you into a puddle of mush. With a few more strokes, he pushes you over and you gasp out his name, blinding pleasure coursing through your veins, turning your vision white.

“That’s one.” He whispers against your ear, and then he doesn’t relent, his fingers keep pulling pleasure, pressing on your G-spot with his rough fingertips, turning the smaller waves of dissipating pleasure into something else, something more.

“Oh, God! Oh, God!” You start chanting as a surge of bliss travels up your spine, tingling, igniting, burning.

“Wrong name, lass.”

“Kid! Kid!” You scream as your release topples over the previous one, briefer but more pleasurable. 

“Two.” Kid removes his fingers from your core, leaving you panting for air as you lie, burning against him, all the previous cold of the night vanishing from your thoughts. He gets up from the bike, unbuckling his belt and taking out his massive cock. Instinctively, you bite your lower lip. It’s been a while since you’ve had anything real down there, and he’s bigger than your average toy.

“Satisfied?” He asks with a grin.

“I’m sure I will be.” You answer him back, earning a barking laugh.

“Turn on the seat, lass.” You do as he says, and Kid sits back down where he was, pulling your legs over his so you wrap them around his waist. “I hope ye don’t love yer panties too much.” You don’t even have time to question his sentence when he rips your panties off of you, making you gasp as another surge of heat courses through you. “Fuck, yer so perfect.”

You sigh and let your fingers trace the muscles of his abs over his shirt. Then your hand goes lower as you take his pulsating, veiny cock in your hands. You can’t help but lick your lips at the sight. Kid grunts and lets you pump him a few times until a bit of pre-cum starts leaking through the top. 

“Aye, aye, enough, lass. Tonight’s about yer pleasure.” Kid gently removes your hand from his cock as he takes your lips in another fiery kiss, bringing you closer to him until you can feel him pressed against your thigh. “I’ve wanted ye since I saw ye. Since the day I helped ye move yer things into yer flat, I knew ye were the one for me.”

You can see the truthfulness in his eyes, his expression softer than you’ve ever seen in him. His fingers trace every curve of your face and jaw, and his eyes follow, as if he’s memorising all of you, soaking you in. His lips go in after, kissing you, worshipping every inch of you like a revered acolyte.

“Yer all I’ve ever wanted. Yer too perfect.” His hands find purchase under your thighs as he pulls you into him, sinking slowly into you. The stretch of his cock inside of you stings and burns, so you wrap yourself tighter around him, your face buried in the crook of his neck as his hands snake up your spine, cradling your neck. “There ye go. Slowly, we got time, lass. I’ve been dreamin’ of this since we met.”

He keeps pushing slowly into you until he’s fully sheathed. You take small breaths to accommodate him, but the sting of the stretch is long gone. The burn that you’re met with demands something very different now. “Show me, Kid. Show me how much we belong together.” You whisper into his ear, and then leave a trail of kisses down to his lips, shifting your hips slightly, showing him you’re ready.

“Ye have no idea what ye do to me. Ye drive me wild.” He leans his forehead against yours and starts to thrust lazily into you. You can feel every vein, every ridge of his cock touching your walls, rubbing them, igniting flames of pleasure inside you.

“Kid…” You moan out his name, pleasure mounting already as every thrust hits a perfect spot.

“Took me long enough to say it, lass. Took me too long. I didn’t know if ye wanted me back. Thought I was friend-zoned. Fuck, yer tight.” You thread your fingers through his hair, every movement making you dizzier as he keeps kissing your body, touching every curve and dip as if he’s committing all of you to his touch, to his memory.

“I can’t fuckin’ believe this is happenin’. I’m afraid I’ll wake up alone again in my bed.” Kid grunts and thrusts a bit harder, making you topple over the edge you’ve been playing at with a loud cry of his name. Your walls squeeze him tighter as your bliss washes through you in waves. “Three. Fuck.”

The chill of the night has nothing on both of you. You can feel little droplets of sweat running down your spine, and Kid’s forehead is damp with effort. 

“Yer mine now. Tell me ye’ll no longer go after fuckin’ losers. Say ye’ll want only me.” You nod, back arching into him, seeking more pleasure as his reverent touches and devoted words wrap a fog of lust and love around you. You feel overwhelmed with emotion. You had no idea that Kid felt like this over you. “I need to hear it, lass.” He seems desperate to know you want him, so you force a thought to materialise in the form of words.

“I’m yours, all yours. Forever, Kid.” That snaps something in him, and he wraps your waist, both feet planted firmly on the ground to keep steady. With a flick of his wrist, he turns on the bike and revs the engine, making it vibrate and purr under you, adding another layer of stimulation to your already stimulated self. With two harsh thrusts - a contrast to his steady, languid previous ones - you shatter again with another long cry of his name.

“Four. One more, lass. We’ll take this one together, aye?” You can barely think straight. Every nerve is tingling with pleasure, every bone is quivering with want, and every muscle is aching with release. 

���Kid… Kid…” You can barely utter a single word. Kid kisses your forehead softly, his hand pressing gentle circles on your back before he revs the engine again. You moan and clutch his shirt, barely able to stand straight as his thrusts become faster, harder, and more relentless. 

“I’ll be all ye’ve ever wanted, all ye’ve ever needed. I’ll make ye feel good every day, ye’ll never feel lonely with me, lass. Yer mine, all mine, aye?” You nod once more as he guides your body back, and you feel the cold metal of the bike against your spine. The new angle makes him repeatedly hit your G-spot, and you know you’ll unravel fast.

“Kid, I’m gonna come.” You manage to breathe out between pants and moans, and you have no idea how much strength you still have left. Though Kid seems to have stamina that goes on for days, you’re already feeling overstimulated.

His thrusts are more erratic, his breath coming in short puffs of air. “Aye, aye, lass. I’m right there with ye.” And as you arch your back against the motorcycle, already losing yourself to a wave of ecstasy, Kid leans forward, letting out a primal grunt against your ear, and unloading his seed inside you, filling you up as your eyes water with bliss. 

The gentle purr of the bike beneath you and the harsh breaths leaving your lips are the only things disturbing the silence of the night. Threading your fingers through Kid’s hair, you can’t stop smiling, even though your muscles are already aching and complaining. 

He’s still inside you when he raises his head, wicked grin in place and a slight flush to his cheeks. “See how much fun we could’ve been having, lass?” You let out a loud laugh, and he grumbles against your neck, pulling out with a groan. “Want to get me goin’ again? Don’t laugh like that while I’m balls deep. All that tightenin’ gets me wild.”

He keeps kissing your neck and collarbone softly as you laugh, his hands gently massaging your thighs.

“I didn’t know, Kid.” You whisper, your back still pressed against the motorcycle, feeling empowered by the machine beneath you and the man above you instead of feeling trapped. “I had no idea you felt like this, you never said anything.”

“I know. I should’ve said it.” His groan vibrates against your chest. “Maybe it would've saved me the trouble of seein’ ye with assholes.”

“Yes, Kid. It really would. I didn’t want to ruin our friendship, even though I thought about it.” 

Kid lifts himself up and you use his shoulders to return to a seated position as he adjusts the straps of your dress. “Ye have? Ye thought about us?” You nod. “Doin’ this?”

You chuckle as you’re assaulted by a lone shiver. Now that you both have stopped, you’re getting cold. “Not exactly this. I don’t think you ever pulled five orgasms out of me in my fantasies.”

Kid’s wicked grin brings you another kind of shiver, but this one has nothing to do with the cold. “Lass, ye’ve been selling yerself short in yer fantasies. Five is just the warm-up.”

As you laugh into his fiery kiss, his hands pull you closer to him, claiming you, worshipping you. And despite the shitty beginning of a shitty night, you couldn’t have asked for a better ending. Turns out, you really didn’t need to leave the apartment. 

But as Kid revs the engine of his Harley again, you realise you’re glad you did.

Tag List: @rosidaze @beachaddict48 @armiliadawn @jintaka-hane @sprinkklz @baby5555 @hopelesslover06 @mars-mizuko @sleepykittycx @nerium-lil @eustasscapitankid @ren-ni @jqperi @lycoriskalmia @walmartmihawk

[lovemyromance]

How tf are there still antis saying they don't know how Elriel counts as a forbidden romance??

1. Rhys literally forbade Azriel from seeing Elain

2. Elain is mated to someone else. She and Lucien may not even want each other, but that bond is something that is highly regarded by many and rejecting the bond could come with political consequences

That is the definition of forbidden romance. When you have external factors preventing you from being with another 🙄

And I know the antis go around saying " Well, it's just Rhys nobody cares what he thinks" and "if Elriel got together it would be fine"

Rhys is a HL. He rules over the NC, including Azriel and Elain. I suspect they will disobey him, but their romance isn't just as cut and dry as if they simply decide to be together so there are zero consequences.

There is an explicit order, mating bond, and politics / blood duel at play here. All are consequences from their potential relationship.

You know who actually has zero consequences and the world would probably rejoice (minus Elain and Azriel... and Nesta) if they got together? Elucien.

Next.

Then there's the antis who go on to say "well forbidden romance is gross! If they aren't doing something wrong, then why hide it! It means Elain is cheating on Lucien!"

They're hiding it because, again .... Rhys explicitly forbade Azriel.

Elain is not cheating on Lucien because they are not in a relationship, nor have made any commitment to each other out of their own free will.

Next.

"oh but Azriel deserves to be loved and not have to hide it! He deserves a love he doesn't need to hide away"

Yes, he does. And one day, he and Elain will be together in broad daylight (in front of sunshine hehe) because they're endgame.

But right now, let me introduce you to my friend Angst. I'm sure you've met them before, when you make your headcanons about Elucien & Gwynriel experiencing obstacles because they actually have nothing preventing them from getting together! It's rude to pretend you don't know someone, especially Angst in a capital-Love Story.

Next.

"SJM doesn't write forbidden romance!"

Too late, she already did when she had Elriel almost kiss in the hallway and then had Rhys explicitly forbid them.

Next.

"Well I think forbidden romance is a childish trope and -"

Bp-bp-bpp imma stop you there ma'am. 🖐️😌

If you don't like it... don't read it! It's as simple as that.

I'm sorry to inform you that your personal opinions on tropes you like/dislike did not make it into SJM's editing room 😩. She's set up Elriel for 3 books now and until the BC, we didn't know what trope they'd fall under but after the BC, it's clear: Forbidden Romance is happening.

Next.

Don't believe me?

Read that again. Sounds like Rhys is forbidding Azriel from getting with Elain isn't he?

Now, just based on what we know about the Spymaster of the NC - do we think this man's is about to follow orders? Especially when he's disobeyed them before?

Show of hands please 😌 Anyone genuinely believe Azriel will tuck his tail between his legs and scamper off, following Rhys's order to the T and refusing to even speak to Elain forever until death?

Didn't think so.

[seenoversundown]

Amongst The Stars: Chapter One

Josh x Quinn (Nonbinary OC)

Warnings: People who are disgustingly in love, mentions of secret relationships, questionable midday PDA, brotherly taunting, Sam, atrocious ex partners.

Word Count: 4k

Summary: Josh has always loved love, and he's finally found it. Buuuut, he can't exactly tell anyone. Join him as he navigates the ins and outs of his sweet, secret romance.

Author's Note: *pounds fists on table* JOSHUA. MICHAEL. MONDAY.

Sorry this is a bit late... they've been too active today and it distracted me Anywayyyyyy. I hope you all enjoy this. I have been obsessed with writing Josh and Quinn and I hope you love them as much as I do (plus, you get a little peek at some other familiar faces).

I Think We’re Alone Now - Tommy James & The Shondells

“I think we're alone now. There doesn't seem to be anyone around. I think we're alone now. The beating of our hearts is the only sound.”

Present Day

“Thanks, Chuck,” I shout after the older gentleman heading out the front door, “Always a pleasure to see you in here!”  I sigh in relief, wiping down the area he just vacated and placing his used pint glass in the sink beneath the bar as the door closes behind him. It’s midday, and Old Man Chuck is typically our only customer until the after-work rush.  I swear Jake only opens this early to accommodate him, I think as I toss my towel back into the fresh Sani-Water bucket, He could probably save so much money if he stopped. But he loves that old man. 

I dry my hands off and lean my elbows against the bar top. I survey the area and let my eyes fall on the only occupied booth.  Quinn.  A small smile creeps its way up my face while I watch them. 

I take in their intentionally disheveled, curly pixie cut. I take in the way their glasses slide down their nose as they lean over the iPad, sketching away at something with their apple pencil.  Three, Two, One. I mentally count down, and then they push their glasses back up, and my smile widens.  There we go.

The thought of knowing their mannerisms well enough to be able to guess exactly when they’ll adjust their glasses makes my heart soar.  I let my eyes rake over their vintage brown and orange striped sweater and down their charcoal gray cigarette pants, stopping to admire the bit of ankle peeking out between the top of their boots and the cuff of their pants. 

How did I get so lucky? 

I press myself back up off the bar, stopping to pay a small tribute to the small Blackbeard shrine that Jake insisted on setting up behind the bar, and slowly walk around to the jukebox in the corner, ensuring I don't draw attention to my movements. I perused the options, smirking to myself as I keyed in A-23.

I turn around, leaning against the jukebox, as the opening chords to “I Think We’re Alone Now” by Tommy James and the Shondells ring out from the speakers.  I wait a beat to see if Quinn will recognize the song, our song, but they’re so engrossed in their art that they don’t even look up. With that, I walk over to their booth and sit beside them. I quietly sing along to the chorus, grabbing their chin and tilting their head to face me.  “Sorry to interrupt, Bug,” I start, kissing their lips gently, “but I think we’re alone now.”  Giggling, they set their apple pencil down on the table.  “Mhm, there doesn't seem to be anyone around.” 

I wrap my arm around their shoulders, pulling them closer to my side. “What are you working on?”  “Just a new coloring sheet for the kids, nothing important.”  “How many times do I have to tell you? Your work is never nothing important,” I squeeze their shoulder, “those kids love you, and I won't stand for you minimizing that.” 

They breathe a small sigh through their nose and lean deeper against me. I bend down and press a kiss to the crown of their head.  I try to give them some grace, knowing they aren't used to having a supportive partner who believes in them. 

“I love seeing your work, Bug,” I kiss their forehead, “You’re passionate about it, and you're good at it.”  “You do know you’ve already won me over,” they laugh, “right? You don't have to keep unnecessarily complimenting me.”  “They're not unnecessary compliments,” I entwined our fingers together, “and, actually, I hold back most of the time.” I raise our clasped hands to my lips and kiss the back of their palm. “Oh, hush.”  “I don't think I will. In fact, I don't think I can. I could praise you day in and day out, and it still would never be enough.” 

I watch, grinning, as their face heats at my words. I reach out and cradle their face in my free hand, gently rubbing a thumb over the apple of their cheek.  

“Hmm, Cute,” I whisper out.  “Aghhhhh,” they let out a small groan, flopping their head back against the booth behind them, “You’re gonna kill me. You know I’m traumatized.” “I’m trying to fix that, dear,” I giggle, poking at their side. 

My phone buzzes in my pocket, interrupting our moment. 

Of course. Even when we’re alone, we’re not really. There’s always someone waiting to interrupt us. 

I sigh as I pull it out and see three new texts from Jake

Kiddo 🥸: Hey Bub, heading to the Farmer’s Market.  Kiddo 🥸: Do we need anything for the bar?  Kiddo 🥸: I have a list, but maybe I forgot something.  Me: The bar is fine.  Me: Wait, is this a thinly veiled attempt to check on me? Kiddo 🥸: :) Me: You’re getting better at hiding it.  Kiddo 🥸: Gotta keep you on your toes. 

He’s insane. You’d think this bar is his living, breathing child. I mean, shit, it may as well be.

Me: Well, put me in a tutu and call me a ballerina, boss.  Kiddo 🥸: [Picture] Kiddo 🥸: Eat shit

Bark out a laugh, looking at the photo Jake sent me of his middle finger facing the camera. 

Me: Leave me alone. Someone has to run this place while you’re galavanting around town. Me: Tell Lin I said hello. 

I slide my phone back into my pocket and pat Quinn’s thigh under the booth, then begin to slip out of the booth.  

“Unfortunately, Captain’s on my ass. I better go clean something before he accuses me of ‘Ruining All My Hard Work’ when he gets back from The farmer’s market.” Damn, fine Jake impression. 

Before I can get too far, Quinn grabs my wrist, effectively stopping me, and pulls me closer.  I watch their eyes dart back and forth between mine and my lips. “You sure?” they ask, batting their eyelashes.  I groan internally.  “Mhmmmm, yep. I need to —” They cut me off, tugging my arm the extra inch or two needed to connect our lips before pulling back and looking into my eyes.  “You need to what?”  I groan externally.  “I need to work. You need to work,” I gesture wildly at the forgotten iPad in front of them.  “We don't need to do anything, Starlight.”

They're a monster. An ethereal monster. They know I can't resist them when they call me that name. 

I pop my head out of the booth, searching for the open sign lit up at the front entrance.  I could turn it off and take Quinn up to the apartment for a little bit. Jake would never know. We aren’t going to get any more customers for at least an hour.  I lean back in, connecting our lips again.  “Okay, 20 minutes. I can lock the doors for 20 minutes.”  A pleased smirk makes its way to their face, and they let me go, practically shoving me out of the booth.  “I can work with 20 minutes,” they shout after me, laughing.  “Trust me, I know you —“

The fucking door opens as I’m reaching to lock it. 

“OH! Hi, I didn’t see you there!” I practically shout, scrambling to let Quinn know that our plans have been foiled.  Why the fuck did I say that? Of all the things I could have said. Why that?  “Didn’t really expect you to, man,” the man mutters as he shoves past me and makes his way to a seat at the far end of the bar, near the piano. 

His voice sounds familiar. That’s interesting. 

He walked past me too quickly for me to get a good look at him, and a Boston Red Sox cap partially obscured his face, so I chalked it up as me being paranoid about almost getting caught with Quinn in the bar. 

I wish I didn’t have to be paranoid, but the timeline is still too murky for Quinn and me to be open about our relationship. Jake is the only one who technically knows.  Oh, I can’t wait for the day we decide to tell the others. It’s eating me alive. I want to scream my love from the highest rooftop. I want to walk down the cobblestone streets hand in hand. I need everyone to know that I am in a soul-consuming relationship, and I couldn’t be happier. 

I quickly walk back behind the bar, stopping in front of him.

He couldn’t have chosen a closer seat; had to make me walk all the way back over here? Okay, Josh, no need to be bitchy over a customer. You do work in a customer service establishment. It comes with the territory. 

“Sorry about that. I just wasn't anticipating any customers. It's usually a ghost town around this time of the day,” I rush out, setting a coaster and a menu in front of him.  “Perfectly fine, man,” he responds, removing his baseball cap to make eye contact. 

I suck in a breath, eyes widening as I realize that I do know this man. He smiles as he takes in my recognition of him.  Craig, Quinn’s absolute douchebag of an ex-boyfriend. The reason Quinn and I aren't open about our relationship.  I open and close my mouth a few times, apparently having forgotten how to say, “What can I get you to drink?” and his smile widens. 

He's like a fucking shark, and he can smell blood in the water. 

“Whenever you’ve finished cosplaying a goldfish, I’ll take a Miller Lite.”  My mouth snaps shut, and I give him the fakest smile I can muster. “Of course, sir. I’ll have that right up for you, just have to go grab a fresh case from the cooler.” 

I turn on my heel and practically jog from behind the bar and down the hallway beside the jukebox, past Jake’s office and the bathrooms. I don't stop until I turn the back corner to our stock area.  I lean against the wall and rip my phone from my pocket.  I take several deep breaths in through my nose and out through my mouth and pull up my texts to Quinn, seeing that they were clearly a step ahead of me. 

Bug 🐛 : is that Craig?  Me: YES, HIDE  Bug 🐛 : How?! I can't just walk past him.  Me: No, you're right.  Me: When I come back, I’ll distract him and you sneak into Jake’s office.  Bug 🐛 : Do you want the bad news or the bad news?  Me: NO NEWS  Bug 🐛 : well  Bug 🐛 : Childish Sambino and the larger one just walked in.  Me: beautiful! 

I let out a muffled wail before clicking into Jake’s texts. 

Me: Code Red

I walk into the cooler and grab a case of Miller, that I definitely did not need. I need to learn to lie better, while I wait for a response from Jake. 

Kiddo 🥸: The ex? Do you need me? I can be there in 5.  Me: No, it's okay. I just wanted you to know.  Kiddo 🥸: you sure?  Me: yeah, Sam and Danny just got here, so I have backup.  Kiddo 🥸: Okay  Kiddo 🥸: If Quinn is still there, send them to my office.  Me: That's the plan.  Kiddo 🥸: Love you, bub  Kiddo 🥸: You got this. 

I slide my phone back into my pocket and sigh in relief. 

Everything will be fine. It'll work out. If I can't distract Craig, I know that Sam and Danny can. Quinn will be safe. 

I pick up the Miller and walk back to the bar, decidedly calmer. 

I hear Sam before I see him. Though I can't quite make out what he’s saying, I can tell he’s upset about something.  Sucks for him, but by the sounds of it, it should be easy enough to distract everyone long enough for Quinn to slip out. 

I finally round the corner and go to the storage cooler under the bar to put the fresh beer in. 

I pour one beer into a glass and set it on the coaster I placed in front of Craig earlier.  “Sorry bout that, bud,” I shrug and offer him a half smile, “I'm sure you know how it goes.”  He rolls his eyes but pulls out his cell phone and begins browsing through apps. 

Satisfied that Craig is content, I finally turn to Sam and Danny and level them with a fake glare. 

“Why are you two in here harassing my customer?”  Sam opens his mouth to speak, but Danny beats him to it,  “Dude, I cannot speak Kiszka when you all get like this,” he gestures to a distressed Sam, “Please fix your brother.”  Sam says nothing but slowly lowers his head to the bartop and lets out a feeble groan. 

Oh, Sammy, what happened?  My heart lurches at seeing my youngest brother in such a state, but I can’t let him know that right up front. 

“What did you do, Sam?”  He mumbles his answer into the floor beneath him. “C’mon, man. Speak up.” He flings his head back up, meeting my eye. 

Fuck, he looks like he’s about to cry. I can’t do this right now. I’ll cry with him. 

“I need advice, Josh,” he starts.  “Okay,” I stare at him, realizing that was the end of his sentence, “Care to elaborate on that?”  “Girladvice,” he breathes under his breath. ”Come again?” I ask, teasing him a little bit.  “GIRL ADVICE,” he whisper-shouts back at me.  “Ahhhhh. Well, don’t really know why you’re asking me,” I pause, carefully choosing my next words, “I mean, have you seen me with a partner in the last decade?”

Craig huffs out a humorless laugh from the other end of the bar, and I shoot a glare at him Don’t need your commentary right now, bud. But thanks anyway. 

“But, I can try to help.”  “GOD, we’re all helpless, aren’t we? You’re a perpetual bachelor. Jake is married to this bar and then we have One-Date-Daniel over here.”“Hey, you don’t have to be mean to me because you caused a problem,” Danny snaps back.  “I’m just being hooooonest,” Sam groans, tossing his head back again.  “Can we get back on topic,” I interject, stopping an entirely different spiral. 

Sam and Danny are the absolute best friends, and they love each other deeply. But… That also means they sometimes bicker like an old married couple, and no one has time for that right now. 

“You’re right,” Sam acknowledges before recounting his entire work trip to California with Willa Clarke, the bane of his existence (the love of his life, to anyone with eyeballs). 

I glance around the bar and find that everyone, including Quinn, is engrossed in his story. I try to get their attention a few times, and when their eyes finally lock on mine, I entirely naturally, thank you very much, stretch my arms back toward Jake’s office, signaling them to go. 

They shoot an annoyed glance back at me, seemingly angry about having to leave in the middle of the story.  It’s not like Willa won’t tell you everything later, I think as I watch them slide their way back into the hallway next to the Jukebox. I know that Sam and Danny won’t see anything, but I keep an eye on Craig to make sure Quinn doesn’t catch his eye. 

I vaguely hear Jake’s office door swing shut, and I sigh in relief.

”Sorry, Sam,” I turn my attention back to my rambling brother, “Can you please give me the TLDR version of this? I don’t have the Brain Power to sift through your word vomit right now.” “Did you just admit to being stupid? Proud of you,” Sam laughs for the first time since he stormed in from the airport, and I have to try my hardest not to laugh with him.  “All I admitted to was not understanding the raving ramblings of a love-sick fool.”

Sam rests his head back on the bar top and lets out a damn near bone-weary breath.  I fucking hate seeing him like this. Please, I just want to help my baby brother. 

“That’s me, isn’t it? Love-sick fool,” he lifts his head to make eye contact with me, and I reach out, patting my hand on his shoulder for comfort.  “Unfortunately for you, yes.” “I think Josh is right this time,” Danny adds in.  “Thank you for seeing reason, Danny,” I laugh, “But seriously, Sam, TLDR Me. I can’t help if I don’t know what’s happening, but I don’t need to know every single detail of your trip.”

Sam rolls his eyes but sits back up. I move to make him his favorite cocktail, a Clover Club with extra garnish, as a consolation prize for having to relive what is, clearly, a Traumatic Event. 

He recounts the parts of his story that he deems essential: one bed in the hotel room, drunk girl, sleeping together. I piece together the rest of it as I finish pouring his cocktail. 

“So, if I understand correctly, you got trapped in some Romance Novel level situation with a coworker you hate. And you slept with her?”

God, what an idiot. Everyone knows you never sleep with your coworkers. Poor little shit is just a hopeless romantic, though. 

“That’s the thing, Josh,” he takes a sip of his cocktail, “I don’t think I hate her. I never have. We just butt heads.”

Craig lets out another chuckle from his seat.  If he doesn’t stop eavesdropping… 

“So you decided to work out that tension in the stupidest way imaginable?” “Hey! The heart wants what the heart wants.” “Sure. But, clearly, her’s doesn’t want you if she’s ghosting you now. What else did you do to her?” “I legitimately don’t know,” he lets his head fall into his hands, “From where I was standing, everything went well, and we were finally starting to get along.” “So, when you’re finally getting along with a coworker, your first response is, ‘Wow, maybe I should dick them down!’” I have to laugh, “You realize how unhinged that is, right?” 

I see Danny just nodding along out of the corner of my eye. 

“Yes, Josh. I know it was stupid. But Willa and I are like magnets. I don’t think we could have stayed away from each other if we tried.”“Except, now she is staying away from you…” “Well, yeah, NOW.”  “And you want her to stop that?” “Yes? That’s the whole reason I’m here, so PUH-LEASE take pity on me.”

I take a moment to think about how my dumb brother can get himself out of this situation. It’d be nice if they could get their shit together; I’d love to eventually be able to go to Quinn’s apartment openly. But I’ll kill Sam if he makes it awkward for me. 

“Okay, so, my advice is, replay the whole situation in your head. Everything from the few moments before you slept with each other all the way to the flight home.” “Oh, I’ll have no trouble doing that,” a sly grin forms on Sam’s face. “Gross, dude,” Danny adds.  “Yeah, I can’t imagine why anyone would want to let you get away,” I plaster a sarcastic smile on my face, “anyway, Make a list of things you could have done to potentially piss her off between sleeping together and coming home.”

Sam already begins tallying things off on his fingers. 

“Really, man?” Danny watches as he keeps counting.  “She thinks I’m really annoying, Daniel.” “She’snottheonlyone,” Danny whispers under his breath as Sam keeps counting.  “I resent that, Daniel,” Sam starts, “Do you have a piece of paper, Josh?”

I press the button on the receipt machine, tearing off a length of paper, and I hand it to Sam along with a pen.  I watch him begin to scribble down a list of things and hold in my laughter as I see realization dawn on his face every time he thinks of a new thing. 

While he’s busy, I grab Craig another beer, sneering at him as I place it in front of him. I do a quick lap around the bar, ensuring that all tables are wiped down and Quinn didn’t leave any of their items for anyone to find. Satisfied with the state of things, I head back behind the bar just as Sam sets his pen down. 

I wordlessly extend my hand, asking for Sam’s list, and start to read it. 

“Sam, you can’t be serious,” I say, setting the list face down on the bar top.  “What?” “You have ‘breathed too loudly’ listed here THREE times.” “Well, yes. Willa doesn’t like it when people breathe too loudly before she’s had her morning caffeine.” “Buddy, I don’t think it’s ‘Breathing’ that you need to apologize for. Why don’t you look a little deeper and try to find something more meaningful that you fucked up.”

I see the little wheels start turning in his head, and he quickly stands up from his stool, nearly knocking it over in his haste. 

“You’re a genius, Josh.” “Alright, well, you can thank me later,” I shoo him away, “Always lovely to see you, Danny. But please get Sam out of here. Some of us actually have work to do.” 

I grab Sam’s empty glass and put it in the sink, then wipe down the bar top before finally turning back to Craig. 

“Willa’s going to hate that, you know,” he chuckles, “So, good job potentially dooming your brother.” “Willa is going to hate being apologized to?” “No, Willa is going to hate being apologized to by him. He doesn’t even know what he did wrong, and she has minimal patience for stupid men,” he shoots back.  “Oh, well, I’m sure you’d know about that,” I smirk at him.  “Good one, bud.” "I did think it was kind of funny.” 

I grab the empty from in front of him and toss it in the trash. 

“Speaking of stupid men,” Craig starts, “Are you still trying to hide your relationship with my ex?”

Jesus Christ, can I get one single moment to breathe?

“I don’t have a clue what you’re talking about.” “So, Quinn didn’t run to the back while your idiot brother had a mental breakdown?” “Mmm, no. I think I’d know if someone ran back there.”

He turns around and looks toward the booth that Quinn had previously occupied.

“So, that’s not their's?” I follow his eyes down to the floor beneath the table. 

Fucking Apple Pencil. 

“Nah, dude, that could be anyone’s. Do you know how many people are in and out of here every day?”  “Josh, it’s fine,” he stretches his arms behind his head, “You can tell them to come out. I’m not stupid.”  “I’d beg to differ,” I let out a small puff of breath from my nose. 

This might actually be the only time he’s correct about not being stupid. Fuck. 

“It’s not that hard to piece together. Quinn meets you, Quinn breaks up with me. Seems pretty straightforward.” “Did you consider that Quinn left you because you were a lazy prick?” 

I see a look of determination flash across his face as he takes in my words. 

Don’t love whatever that means.

“Okay, Josh,” he fixes me with a sarcastic smile, “You can keep your little secrets. But just know that you’ll see more of me around here.”

He slaps a $20 bill on the counter and stands up. 

“Keep the change.” 

Once the chime on the door stops tinkling and I’m confident Craig won’t return, I lock the door and scurry back to Jake’s office. 

I shove the door open, almost knocking Quinn over in the process. My little eavesdropper.  I let out a manic giggle, “Not to alarm you, dear.. but I think we have a problem.”

Next Chapter

ATS Masterpost | The Caravel Tavern Series | Masterlist

Reply or Fill out this form to be added to the taglist:

Taglist:

@gvfsstardust @myleftsock @imleavingyoufornewyork @mindastreamofcolours @dont-go-home-without-me @literal-dead-leaf

@mackalah @writingcold @edgingthedarkness @takenbythemadness @i-love-gvf @threadofstars @earthgrlsreasy

@peaceloveunitygvf @gretavanfan @jazzyfigz @musicspeaks

@demonrat444 @josh-iamyour-mama @wrldabomination @imleavingyoufornewyork

@gvf-luna @lilbitx @gvfstuddedmajesty

[hcneygemini]

𝖝. 𝖆. 𝖓. 𝖆. — the sex was good until it wasn't sentence starters.

A collection of sentence starters from the album The Sex Was Good Until It Wasn't. Not including songs previously released as singles ( they are on this meme ) I also have chosen not to include 15, Lavender Daughter, or BODY due to the heavy and deeply personal subject matter. Please do not add to or claim this meme as your own. Feel free to change pronouns, slightly rephrase, combine, or shorten as needed. Some lyrics have been changed to better fit rp purposes. tw: toxic relationships, brief suicidal ideation, religious stuff ( mostly blasphemous lmao ), some violence mentions, & implied cheating.

LIP SERVICE

you can't hurt me any more than you have already.

it's taken everything in me not to be petty.

what once was easy is now feeling pretty heavy.

waiting is romance until [ they ] are never ready.

i get next to you and i still get nervous.

my stomach dropped when you said "i don't deserve this."

i don't deserve this.

"it's just not like you," is what i tell myself, but how could i know that?

i guess it's true love 'cause you always come right back.

a liability is what you lack.

i don't wanna know that.

you talk of timing, like our planets just aren't aligning.

you talk of timing, as if we don't have any say in deciding.

you talk of timing, as if my tongue is the only one i'm biting.

you talk of timing, as if i don't have all your confessions down in writing.

yeah, it's the timing.

i can't let you lie to me.

i don't know who you're trying to be.

i didn't wanna up and leave.

i knew you wouldn't stay with me.

i think about you all the time.

we thought it would, but it never died.

my guilt is who i sleep beside.

i wonder if you're warm tonight.

we tried to control all the damage.

you couldn't let go.

i couldn't handle all the doubt in my mind.

all that's left is the hurt where you're hollow.

i wish you'd have saved yourself, 'cause i now i gotta save me.

now i gotta save me.

is there a world where we can make this better?

will i question your intentions forever?

[ Phoebe ] said that it's for the better.

i do what i can to make it last.

i'm scared of how i feel when you talk like that.

can we talk like that?

can we talk?

i would do it all again.

maybe we can try whenever you are able.

i'm not waiting, i'm just sitting at the table.

THE SEX WAS GOOD !

we're star-crossed lovers, but i wanna puke whenever you say it.

you're a little older now.

that's just the hard truth.

you're rocking with the big boys.

you scream your lungs dry.

i'm a sucker for white noise.

where am i tonight?

i guess you'll never know.

you probably won't sleep right.

now i can't think of you, it ruins my whole mood.

i only painted you red out of kindness.

you blame it on your childhood.

i should have left, but how could i?

i guess the sex was good until it wasn't.

i bet it cuts right to the bone.

you wanted a wife and a kid and a life you could control.

i've got unsaved numbers in my phone.

i've got a god-awful tendency to love being alone.

break all my shit!

incite a riot!

go play the victim, babe, i hope they buy it.

dry your alligator tears.

you can't leave 'em here.

you wanted love songs—beggars can't be choosers, dear.

i'm stone cold.

it's fucking tragic.

i never loved you.

i find myself looking back a bit more than i should.

it wasn't all bad, but it wasn't that good.

SICK JOKE

write it in gold.

the ending gets old.

they say you learn to know when it's time to go.

these days i'm talking to myself.

i know what to say now.

is everything i feel temporary?

i'm learning more about myself and it's scary.

won't you let me live right here in the memory?

love me plenty.

take this gently.

leave me empty.

leave me whole.

call it what it is: it's a sick, sick joke.

nobody's laughing now.

i wanna learn to love you, i just don't know how.

i swear i'm really trying, but i'm all worn out.

all that happened hurt me more than i care to talk about.

nothing ever changes, and i'm sick of this town.

will i find it in me to find a way out?

i think i might feel better once i let you down.

we never touched in that midnight glow.

every part of me you begged to know.

i look into your eyes and i see my own.

it's almost like you always knew me—what a horrifying feeling.

you were horrifying.

i only miss it a little.

i don't wish you very well.

you only loved me in riddles.

you still loved me, i could tell.

now you call it a fever dream.

you're only kidding yourself.

i wanna learn to trust you, i just don't know how.

you're no longer a contact.

i'm good on my own, but you already know that.

you swore to be true.

you failed in the moment.

they say it takes two, but i blame you.

i don't know what it means.

someday i'll find the meaning.

the wound still stings.

i kinda like the bleeding.

where'd you go?

you oughta stay there.

i had to block you on the internet 'cause i still care.

it keeps me up at night like a bad, bad dream.

what if i never find someone who's just like me?

our stars never aligned.

we did a bad thing.

i hold on to the grudges.

i wish you held me.

i have an incessant need for a love so all-consuming that it ruins me.

you promised it was real.

i guess you misspoke.

i wanna be merciful, i just don't know how.

it goes against my nature to believe you're bad.

why'd you have to go and lie to me like that?

there always come a point where you have to have your own back.

now's as good a time as ever to learn that.

i'm thankful that i never gave you all of me.

now i get to walk away with everything.

if i linger in your memory, eradicate me!

i never saw you coming, but i felt you leave.

i did my best.

i hope you never find the guts to make amends.

i'm crying to my friends.

i'm plotting my revenge.

all i really wanna know is why would you pretend?

FERAL

i served my head on a platter.

i wish i were dead by now.

what does it matter?

make your amends.

prepare for the slaughter.

the rumors are true.

you're callous and cruel.

that [ woman ] is feral.

they said, "be careful, that [ woman ] is the devil.

even god herself as never known such evil.

i see [ her ] when the lights go low.

i feel [ her ] when i'm on my own.

i do my best work under pressure.

you fight for your life.

for me, it's just pleasure.

blood on my lips looks so much better.

witness my final ascension.

i command your undivided attention.

i'm teaching a lesson.

god is a woman and she likes other women.

does it keep you up at night?

was there something in the light that looks like me?

was it worse than you thought?

are you praying to a god you don't believe?

there's a shadow in your bed.

[ she ] won't leave.

i kinda wish i killed you sooner.

pray to your great empty heaven.

THE KICKER

it's snowing for the second time this winter.

i'm glad i didn't, but i wish i'd kissed [ her ]

i've been contemplating resolutions.

i blocked the user, but [ she ] made a new one.

i'm at a loss.

maybe i'm sick and need an obsession.

maybe it's love and the timing's up to heaven.

if it's as real as it feels, wouldn't you be here still?

ain't that the kicker.

there's a ghost in these walls.

[ she ] says nothing at all.

there ain't a single day i don't feel [ her ].

you're a lesson learned.

i'm one you get to work through.

how dare you say this ain't easy for you.

you get to fall asleep in bed with a [ girl ] who chose you.

i hate that i still wonder if it's what you wanted.

you said you're all mine.

it left me haunted.

if i go crazy, put your name down on the paper.

cause of death: a fucking serial dater.

maybe i'm mixing up all the signs.

you're really not a bad guy.

you could be the one if i just let this one slide.

baby, you're lucky that i'm such a forgiver.

you chose her too.

don't tell me you love me if you don't mean it like that.

you don't mean it like that.

don't tell me you're coming back, you don't mean it like that.

why'd the lord make me such a forgiver?

EARTH EYES

you're got earth in your eyes.

i can hardly survive how you touch me at night.

will you touch me tonight?

will you touch me?

you're all mine.

you kissed and you cursed me.

i spent 7 years trying to prove i was worthy.

i waited for worship.

i waited for madness.

i sat on your doorstep.

i loved without reason.

you loved me in secret.

now that i'm older, i no longer mind it.

it wasn't one-sided.

you tried to hide it.

you wound pretty lies 'til we crashed and collided.

i finally found you.

ALIBI

i don't love [ her ], but i think about [ her ] all the time.

i wonder what on earth [ she ] tastes like.

i've got a hundred reasons why i need an alibi.

i think it's funny.

i can never get [ her ] all alone.

it's all we know.

i haven't been this close to heaven since they shut me out.

i still had blood on my clothes.

[ she ] washed it out.

i know nothing in this world can save me now.

no, i don't love [ her ]

[ she's ] just somehow all i think about.

ain't it funny?

for you, i think i could have been someone.

i hope you know when it's your time to go, it'd be an honor just to offer up a hand to hold.

if i have to wait until our decaying state to be that close to you, darling, it's all i'll do.

i'll be yours forever, if forever will have me.

i'll be yours forever.

4EVER

it's already been 6 months.

i kinda hate how the time just goes and goes.

it feel strange to think about how i used to be somebody you didn't know.

you're the first i always call.

i share my clothes and fears with you.

we know it's something special.

we know we're gonna miss it when we get a little older.

i'm crying on your shoulder.

i think i fell in love, but it feels a little better.

i could stay right here in this house with you forever.

some things are meant to be.

some things are accidental.

you make me believe the world could be gentle.

every minute here i get more sentimental.

you cry in my arms.

i put on the kettle.

we do what we want.

the [ girls ] are allowed.

i had a panic attack, now we're going out.

god, i love the [ girl ] house!

you can brush your teeth while i'm singing in the shower.

i'll follow you wherever.

you make it all right.

home is where i love you.

they could stick us in a movie.

i'd even go to hell if it meant with you.

how'd we get so lucky?

home is where you love me.

we're all just a little bit in love with [ Amelia ].

i'll meet you on the corner.

i'm down in california.

they say talk is cheap.

JANUARY

it's all so comforting, the part of me that dies without you here.

tell me how i'm supposed to stay away for another year.

i don't wanna kill the parts of me that loved you right.

i can't look them in the eye.

i swear i will hate you for this forever.

i never got to tell you that i loved you.

i was blinded by your tunnel light.

this is my town.

honey, it's your wasteland.

i don't think we'll ever talk again.

we couldn't get that right.

i didn't notice the moment you let go of this.

i was all alone in it for longer than i knew.

i knew.

you made the right choice.

i'm second guessing if i ever really knew your true intentions.

you couldn't hold back.

i couldn't learn my lesson.

i kinda hate the silence.

i know what to do with it.

now it's over.

i feel 10 years older, somehow none the wiser.

i do this every time.

i couldn't get that right.

your skeletons, they don't scare me.

i go back to january—in my mind, you wait there for me.

i feel pathetic, insisting this shit's poetic.

i feel you rolling those damn eyes.

i curse 'em all the time.

no, i don't miss you anymore.

i don't want you back in my life, i couldn't live like that.

i'd say i'm happy.

there's still something so daunting.

i never felt the weight of it all.

you came along and took it off me.

i hope you're happy.

i can't look at any pictures, i'm afraid i'll see you with [ her ].

i heard you got that right.

i can't go back, i can't move forward.

i cried all night.

what's that like, being loved by you?

i still talk to you when i'm sleeping.

i call you name just to feel something.

i never learned to let a good thing go.

no, you won't be seeing my name on a phone screen.

you're hoping it's me who caves—well, it won't be!

i needed the time and the space.

i can't recall why it was needed in the first place.

i ain't a killer.

oh baby, i might be.

you're somehow the one i can't leave behind me.

in my mind, you regret me.

do you regret me?

[blood-choke]

is Valentina going to be forced on us or will we have more options to push her away? I’m just not a huge fan of her and it feels like the game really pushes you to like/sympathize with her. I know she and the mc were together so obviously there’s going to be feelings from her but the mc doesn’t really even remember her at all :( even with the options to distance yourself from her, the game still goes ANYWAYS! So i guess what i’m asking is if you think you’ll expand on the choices in the future? This got really long sorry

there will be, but probably not in the way that you mean.

i kinda touched on it before but this is a romance game, so you will have to pick from one of the three love interests (or two of them or all of them) the game is going to funnel you towards Valentina. the mc is always going to have residual feelings for her and most scenes with her will have romantic undertones whether you've flirted with her or not. and if you don't flirt with anyone, you'll only have Valentina.

the relationship with her will get more complicated as the game progresses depending on your choices and whether or not you do flirt/reciprocate. at the start your flirts with her aren't counted in the same way that they are for Hana and Clear. even if you refuse her in the closet she'll still come onto you in the club, because in her mind you're still together (but it does change the kind of scenes you get if you go hunting with her)

this will progress more eventually but right now it's too early for Valentina to really consider your rejections as genuine. and the mc is just confused and, again, will always have residual feelings for her regardless, which is why you can potentially end up making out with her in the club even without flirting.

you can eventually reject her (or kick her out of the polycule, so to speak) but that won't happen for a while. in chapter 3 you'll get to choose to spend time with one of the love interests and with Hana you can start sowing the seeds of "splitting" with Valentina. but it's not going to be cut and dry, there will be more romantic scenes with Valentina and the mc is written as a person who loves her.

this relationship is meant to be challenging and uncomfortable at times so i don't take it personally if anyone doesn't like Valentina. it's weird to be in a situation where you love someone you don't remember or even really like, but that's why i'm writing it that way, because i think it's interesting! and Valentina is not meant to be a super likeable character, she's messy and nasty, but the mc (and by extension, the game) does still sympathize with her because they were together for a very long time.

tldr; yes the game and mc is going to sympathize with Valentina, and her and mc's relationship is significant and is not something you can easily opt out of, especially not this early in the game

[badassbarmaid]

My initial thoughts on Rebirth.

Disclaimer: I shouldn't have to do this but I know how toxic the fandom has become in some ways, so know this is my opinion only, you don't have to agree or disagree, and I'm not here to say anyone who feels differently is less than. I'm just sharing my own thoughts as I process what I experienced playing through the game the first time.

I'm going to first go over what I loved about this game.

The world building. I was blown away with how large and complex each village/town/city was. Kalm, Corel, Costa Del Sol, Under Junon, Nibelheim...these were tiny little areas in the OG. I was in awe as we entered the spaces, got introduced to so many new characters and side stories, it was wonderful. This approach made me fall in love with Cosmo Canyon especially. This historical and regional intel quests have been amazing, too, in that it gives so much more inside into this universe. I'm still working through the side content to expand on this, but so far, I have been really enjoying the storytelling. Also - chocobo riding is SO FUN.

The characterizations. Just like in Remake, we get personalities for all the characters, main and NPC. Even for the glimpses we get of Cid and Vincent, I love how they are portrayed and make you already drawn into who they are and how they could fit into the story in part 3. This game made me really enjoy Yuffie and Cait Sith especially - characters I mostly ignored in the OG because I didn't like their personalities or gameplay mechanics. The smaller characters, from townsfolk in Nibelheim, other rebels in Junon, the GI tribe, or even the Black Robes...it's all so interesting and complex. I loved it. Getting the chance to see Myrna, Ifalna, Zangan, and even Tifa's father...peak narrative writing right there.

The relationship building among the main cast. I also loved how deep the primary relationships got among the characters. We see bestie scenes with Tifa and Aerith, bonding between Barret and Cloud, Nanaki and Aerith...it's all so real and deep and funny. The banter is hilarious, especially where Yuffie is involved or Cait Sith, but not obnoxious.

The additions to the battle system. I really like the synergy combinations. I thought that was a fun new mechanic and really makes you want to flesh out your parties. I also really like that they make you split off into different party combos throughout the story, which forces you to play with everyone but not so much that it hinders anything. Now as I am in post game, I'm really having fun swapping people in and out, unlike during the OG when I kept it to really only a core party.

The easter eggs to the OG. I loved the Fort Condor minigame/3D brawler nod to the polygon vibes. The hints to different areas of the OG game we haven't seen yet, the music choices, the direct lines. It's so evident that the developers wanted it feeling like we were going into our old stomping grounds, but with some new tweaks and twists, much like Remake. I'm going to enjoy seeing more as I do more of the sidequests.

The balance of the "romance". Of course we all know I am a cloti fan, but i think they did a good job balancing it all out throughout the game/ The first half is very Tifa heavy, the second half is more Aerith heavy, but it shows the complexities of these relationships and that they aren't cut and dry. Now, I will say though that it does seems to be tipped more in Tifa's favor, but I personally find that making more sense overall, but that's me. Independent of my own preferences, I think they did a good job not shoving one over the other in the main story.

I LOVED being able to play as Zack and have him and Cloud fight together, as brief as it was, because it was just so nice to see.

Okay, now onto the things I have concerns/qualms/issues with.

The pacing was rough at times. We would go through stretches of heavy, dense plot, to random long bouts of minigames. It was jarring at points in the story and seemed out of place besides Gold Saucer (Costa Del Sol, the moogle houses, the Queen's Blood game, etc. seemed odd). While I love minigames, it felt bloated. Clearly they needed filler in the game to make up for not doing the whole story plot.

It pulled a FF15 with plugging in characters and plot that required you to know the side stories like homework before playing. While I played Intergrade, I never played Ever Crisis/First Soldier so despite doing my research, I'm still confused over Glenn and that whole side plot. I felt for people who didn't play those games too, or if someone hadn't experienced Yuffie's DLC.

The ending was convoluted and confusing. It's evident that this game knew it was a middle child, so I knew there would be no resolution, but I am so confused by their narrative choices. The fusion of worlds? Aerith may be dead or may not be dead? Zack is still bouncing between realities? While I didn't know if I wanted Aerith killed off or saved, the fact that we don't have a committed decision on it and it's now vague...I don't like that.

The lack of reaction by characters to bizarre behavior. I know I wasn't the only one confused by the fact that Cloud would very obviously act out of character and folks seemed ignorant of it, beyond a few comments. He slaughtered people, spoke unlike himself, and nearly killed Tifa and Aerith, yet no one really bat an eye to it. On top of that, when Sephiroth did appear to more than just Cloud, folks didn't seem to react much at all to it. There were times in the last few chapters of the game that my partner (who watched me play) was very much like what the fuck?! It's one thing to have but muted in the OG because they had limitations...but this was just strange.

The buggy mechanics suck. I wish I could stick to chocobos; I hate navigating the buggy; the controls are just god awful for me. The load in and out time is long, it's hard to make turns or even stop, and I can never tell what terrain i can actually go on or not.

The puzzle mechanics also suck. I hated the sequence as Cait Sith in the ShinRa manor and the Temple of the Ancients. I felt like they were tedious or confusing and also bloated the story out too much.

Ultimately, I loved the game. I like the story choices, the music, the visuals, the exploration....as someone that has loved this story since I was 10 when it came out, I am very happy with it overall and will be replaying it a few times to catch everything I missed.

My partner said it best when he alluded that this has Nomura all over it. I hope the third game answers these questions and gives us a proper and committed resolution, whatever it may look like.

[whimsicaldragonette]

ARC & Audio ARC Review: The Secret Lives of Country Gentlemen by K.J. Charles

Order

Add to Goodreads

Publication Date: March 7, 2023

Synopsis:

Bridgerton meets Poldark in this sweeping LGBTQIA+ Regency romance from award-winning author KJ Charles Abandoned by his father as a small child, Sir Gareth Inglis has grown up prickly, cold, and well-used to disappointment. Even so, he longs for a connection, falling headfirst into a passionate anonymous affair that's over almost as quickly as it began. Bitter at the sudden rejection, Gareth has little time to lick his wounds: his father has died, leaving him the family title, a rambling manor on the remote Romney Marsh...and the den of cutthroats and thieves that make its intricate waterways their home. Joss Doomsday has run the Doomsday smuggling clan since he was a boy. His family is his life...which is why when the all-too-familiar new baronet testifies against Joss's sister for a hanging offense, Joss acts fast, blackmailing Gareth with the secret of their relationship to force him to recant. Their reunion is anything but happy and the path forward everything but smooth, yet after the dust settles, neither can stay away. It's a long road from there—full of danger and mysteries to be solved—yet somehow, along the way, this well-mannered gentleman may at last find true love with the least likely of scoundrels.

My Rating: ★★★★★

*My Review and Favorite Quotes after the cut

My Review:

Once again, KJ Charles has written my favorite kind of romance. I love how her books are instant comfort reads at this point, while at the same time remaining fresh and new no matter how many I've read. You'd think she'd run out of unique and loveable characters (most of them gold-hearted rogues who aren't particularly morally bothered) with chemistry of the sort that means warmth and comfort and companionship and someone always on your side, in addition to the usual definition. And yet.

I love her wit and sly humor. I don't tend to like must "humorous" books because they tend to rely on steortypes, punching down, bawdy humor, etc. Not so KJ Charles. Her humor is of the witty, sardonic, dry variety and it's just wonderful. Here, I'll give you an example:

"I would like to talk about this again, more civilly, to understand your point of view. I don’t know if I’ll agree but I’d rather disagree with more nuance.” Joss hoped nuance didn’t mean shouting.

A lot of the humor in this book comes, as in the example above, from the language barrier of Marshman smuggler vs. educated Londoner. So I guess you have to like clever humor about words. Luckily, I do.

Joss and Gareth are wonderful characters. Really, every character in this book is a wonderful character. They all have such distinct personalities and feel so very real. Their romance feels very natural too, as they work together and learn to trust one another.

I absolutely LOVED everything about this and I had the biggest smile on my face while reading it. I knew I would love it - It's KJ Charles, that's a foregone conclusion - but it always surprises me how much I love it in the end.

The plot was great. Twisty and full of danger and trouble, but also full of quiet moments of companionship and connection. I loved how it ended, too. It was perfect. I will absolutely read the next one as soon as it comes out (and her next book, and the next...) because she's one of my favorite authors at this point. I've preordered the audiobook as I know I will want to revisit this and that's one of my favorite ways to do so.

Thoughts on the audiobook:

This audiobook and I did not particularly get along. LOVE LOVE LOVE the book, but the audio...

The narrator speaks very slowly which is fine, I can just bump up the speed (which I did, to 2x). But he adds. Random. Pauses. in the middle of sentences, then jumps back to speaking at a steady pace and. Then. Adds. More. Pauses. and it's driving me nuts because I *can't* increase the speed any more because then the rest is too fast.

I eventually got used to his particular style of narration, but it's still not my favorite. Worth it, to experience the book again, but another narrator would have improved it.

I also found Joss' grandfather to have a really strange accent in the audio. We know from the story that he was from a plantation in Georgia and thus speaks with a slow drawl. The audiobook narrator interprets this as. Speaking. Very. Very. Slowly. With. Long. Pauses. Between. Words. It has an almost staccato effect which is very much not how a southern drawl works.

5+ enthusiastic stars for the book, 3.5 unenthusiastic stars for the narration.

*Thanks to NetGalley, Sourcebooks Casablanca, and Dreamscape Media for providing an early copy and early audio copy for review.

Favorite Quotes:

Nobody liked paying taxes, granted, but governments levied them all the same, and one had to put up with it since there didn’t seem to be any way of stopping them.

---

Gareth had spent most of the last two days outside in self-defense, despite the persistent light mist and drizzle. He was beginning to feel that country life was bad for the nerves.

---

There was a remarkably pervasive quality to the rain on Romney Marsh, as if the sky had chosen its side in the precarious balance between land and sea. Everything felt damp, even indoors.

---

“He didn’t dine, Cecy,” Catherine said. “He just ate.”

---

“That’s entirely specious.” “Talk English,” Joss suggested sardonically. Gareth discovered he couldn’t instantly define specious.

---

Gareth had no idea what to say. He wasn’t a political philosopher. He had a vague sort of idea that country, king, and law were the foundations on which the nation was built, while nevertheless acknowledging that he had no intention of taking up arms for the country, the king was a mad German, and he’d spent much of his adult life happily breaking the law. Still, they were principles, even if they weren’t his principles. He’d thought this would be an easy fight to pick. He’d met plenty of radicals in London—men who wanted wealth redistributed, laws changed, the government made representative. Joss Doomsday, fervent patriot of a hundred square miles of marshland, was perhaps the most radical man he’d ever met.

---

“Starting fights instead of facing problems isn’t courage.”

---

“But I’ve a fair bit to lose if they hang me for smuggling too. You can’t just not do things acause of the consequences.” “Consequences are literally the reason not to do things. That’s what they’re for.”

---

“If you want something, you ask for it. You told me so, before. Is that always how you get what you want?” Joss shrugged. “You don’t get what you want by not asking for it.” Gareth contemplated the obvious truth of that statement. “I may have to change my approach to life.”

---

“I would,” Joss said. He didn’t know what Gareth was up to; he’d back him to the hilt anyway. “Right obstinate fellow, the new squire.”

[tokkigguk]

I Love You | Yoongi (Six)

Pairing: Yoongi x reader

Genre: fluff, school romance, a little angst (maybe), fake girlfriend au

Word count: 0.9k

Warnings: swearing

Summary: You love Yoongi but Yoongi always act cold toward you. Even though he's like that, you never gave up. One day, he asked you to be his fake girlfriend. What will happen to your relationship with Yoongi? Will he finally love you back?

Masterlist

<- Prev Next ->

A/N : This one is short. Sorry about that. Hope you like it(≡^∇^≡)

-----------------------------------------

Yoongi helped you drying yourself with the towel he got.

"Hey, sorry for what happened to you. We shouldn't come to this party just so I can make people believe about me having a new girlfriend. If we didn't come here, then this won't happ-" you cut him off by kissing his cheek and smiled. His face turned into the deepest shade of red. He was speechless.

"You don't have to apologize. It's not your fault. I already agree with you to come to this party so it's okay," you smiled at him. He thought you were beautiful in that moment with your wet and messy hair. Yes, you looked like a mess but still you managed to look so beautiful in his eyes. Without realizing it, he smiled back at you.

"You smiled at me again. Guess you got used to me that you put your guard down when you're with me," you chuckled.

"No, I didn't," he denied at the fact that he was smiling at you. He turned his face to the side because he was embarrassed. His face and ears turn red from embarrassment. This doesn't go unnoticed by you, so you chuckled at this new side of Yoongi you discovered. Suddenly you sneezed because you felt cold since your clothes were wet and the weather was kinda chilly. Yoongi turned to you and looked at you with worried eyes.

"Let's go home. You need to change and warm up before you catch a cold. Let's go back to the car now. I think I have some clothes in the car," he said.

"Thanks, Yoongs," you smiled at him. He stood up and reached out his hand to you. You took his hand and stood up as well. Then you went back to his car.

At his car

"Damn it, I don't have any clothes here. Y/N, I'm sorry there's no clothes. I only have that jacket you're wearing so just wear that for now, okay? We're going to my place and then you can borrow my clothes."

You just nodded your head and replied with a small ‘okay’. Then you got inside the car and went back to Yoongi's house.

At Yoongi's place

"Here's a change of clothes for you. The bathroom is over there," Yoongi pointed to a door that led to the bathroom. You thanked him for the clothes and went to the bathroom to take a shower.

Once you’re done showering and wore his clothes, you went out of the bathroom, feeling shy because you were wearing his clothes.

"I'm done, Yoongs," you said to him. He turned around and smile at you when he saw you wearing his clothes. It looked like you’re wearing oversize clothes even though it’s not oversize, at least for Yoongi.

"My clothes are too big for you, aren't they?"

"Uhm…yes," you said with shy tone of voice, and he chuckled.

"Come here, I made you some hot chocolate to warm you up," he said while motioning for you to come to him. You did as he said and sat down beside him. He gave you the hot chocolate and you drank it. You felt warm after drinking the hot chocolate.

"This is good. Thank you," you smiled warmly at him. Your smile warmed his heart. He thought that maybe the one warming his heart was the hot chocolate but when you smile, your smile made him feel warmer than before.

"By the way, since there's only one room left in this house which is my room, so you'll sleep there, and I'll sleep on the couch. That's okay with you, right?"

"That's more than okay but are you going to be okay if you sleep on the couch? What if your back hurt? Let's just sleep together in the same bed," you blurted out without realizing it. Yoongi smirked at your statement.

"You like me that much until you're actually okay to sleep in the same bed with me, huh?" you blushed when you saw him smirking, especially after what he said. You blushed even harder after realizing what you just said to him just now.

"T-that's not what I mean. I just thought that you will feel uncomfortable if you sleep on the couch," you tried to explain yourself.

Yoongi thought you were cute when you’re flustered and blushing like that. He hugged you without a second thought. You were surprised by this because Yoongi never acts like this before.

"You're so cute, baby," he said. Your cheeks became redder because he called you 'baby'. Yoongi saw this and squished you in between his strong arms. You rested your head on his chest and hear his heartbeat beating so calmly. You felt calm when you heard his heartbeat. Without realizing it, you began to fall asleep in his arms.

"Y/N, I think I realize something tonight. I think I'm in love with you. Yes, I know all this time I've been stuck on Gayeon, but the truth is I began to fall in love with you since the first time you approach me. I just keep denying my feelings for you because I was afraid. I'm sorry, I hope we can start over," he said sincerely.

Yoongi doesn't realize that you already fell asleep in his arms. He was waiting for your answer, but you didn't say anything, so he looked at you and found you already fell asleep. Yoongi chuckled when he saw you sleeping with your mouth open a little.

'So cute,' he thought. He carried you to his room bridal style. He tucked you in bed and kissed your forehead.

"Good night, my princess. Sweet dreams," he said. Then he turned off the light of his room and went out to sleep in the living room.

[shwazzberryswriting]

On Earth and in the Stars

Pairing: Taeyong x Original Female Character|Reader

Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Romance, Light Angst, Fluff, Slice of Life, Established Lovers Relationship

Summary: Taeyong struggles to resettle into domestic bliss

Word count: 17.3k+

Rating: Mature for Sexual Content, Drinking, Cannabis Consumption (implied), College/University Party

Warnings: Explicit Sexual Content; Smut, Kissing, Nipple Play, Light Degradation/Dirty Talk, Praising, Penis in Vagina Sex, Protected and Unprotected Sex, Oral (M + F receiving), Outdoor/Roof Sex, Shower Sex, Light Cum Play, Facials, Creampie

*Part 10 of my “The NCT Frat House Series”*

Author’s Note: Thank you for your patience to anyone who might have been waiting. Thank you for reading, and I think it will be apparent that I had a lot of fun with NCT members having cameos in this fic (though not everyone made the cut). Taeyong is NCT's leader after all, mother of 22 children. As always, I tried very hard to proofread but I might have missed some mistakes so I'm sorry for those!

As I do with all of my longer fics, I broke the story up. This one is in 4 Parts! Please let me know if any of the links aren't working The only fic I've actually made a Moodboard for (something I'm not good at, sorry)

Part 1 (Below) | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4

*🌹*

Most mornings, she took a short route with her roommate on a morning run, but Kiele took a detour on an important Friday morning. Instead of running through the park beside her apartment complex, she ran across the street, and past the local corner store. The fluorescent bulbs from the store’s “OPEN” sign reflected blue and pink lights onto her as the grinding of gravel against her shoes shot into her ears.

Behind a rusty metal fence was a public garden in which she’d been growing herbs and peppers. The purple and blue hues of the early morning twilight were quickly shifting to orange and yellow as the sun was on its way up. She loved morning twilight hours, a reminder to her that there was always a beautiful thin lining between darkness and light.

Approaching the far south side of the garden, she grinned. The shape of a familiar figure was standing before her 3 black plastic pots of Thai chili peppers, his head bowed. He wore his navy baseball cap backwards, the back of his neck hidden to her.

“Baby!” she exclaimed, sprinting over to her boyfriend, out of breath. She threw her arms around Taeyong’s waist from behind.

“Oh! Sweetie!” he said with a laugh in his throat. She shivered as a cold, wet hand gripped onto her wrist. She rested her forehead against his back as she felt him press his back to her front. Her heart was beating rapidly and beads of sweat glided down her face and back as her lungs burned from her morning run. “Good morning.”

“I was arriving early to water the plants!” she said in greeting, her voice muffled. His denim jacket was soft, and he smelt of lavender and fresh basil. He blended in perfectly with the garden. “You just came home. I wanted to do something nice for you.”

“I want to water the plants,” he said. “The plants have grown so fast in just a week. Did you see that some of the purple peppers are turning yellow? Johnny told me they’re spicier than the red and green ones.”

“I missed you,” she said, gently squeezing him. Her heart rate was slowing, though her chest still heaved. “I can’t wait to pick and eat them.” Her skin tingled as she felt a few cold droplets of water hit her face. “Baby!” She laughed as Taeyong flicked his wet fingers toward the direction of her face. The crickets were chirping loudly, and song birds joined in, their chirping coming in loud 5 second intervals.

Taeyong’s dry, throaty guffaws interrupted the sounds of nature. Kiele released him, stepping to press the front of her body to his side, and she reached up to pinch his cheek. His eyes furrowed shut and he grimaced. She gave a dry, “Hmph,” her tongue between her teeth as she shook his cheek gently, her fingers applying more pressure to his soft, marshmallowy cheek.

A cricket hopped from a tomato plant nearby, landing on Kiele’s shoulder. Terrified, she let go of Taeyong, and screamed as she shook her arm. When she heard Taeyong wheezing between his guffaws, she stopped jumping. She’d jumped nearly 5 feet away from him, and he was spraying water onto an empty patch of dirt before him. He was clutching his stomach with his free hand, his mouth wide open and his eyes shut tight.

“You don’t have to laugh so hard,” she said with a frown, walking back to his side.

“I’m sorry, sweetie,” he said, standing up straight and redirecting the hose toward the pepper plants. “It’s cute that you’re afraid of bugs.”

“Why’s that?” she asked. He smiled, throwing his arm over her shoulders. “You think it’s cute that I’m scared for my life?” He nuzzled his nose against her neck, sending a warm shiver down her back. She locked her knees for a second, unwilling to go weak at his touch.

“You’re around dead bodies all day and you jump a mile when a tiny cricket jumps on you.”

She chuckled. He loved bringing up her job. She was apprenticing to become a mortician at a funeral home. They’d met in a restorative art class years ago, having bonded over their peculiar interests. She wanted to become a mortician, and he believed in extraterrestrial life.

From art, she learned the importance of preserving art to keep history alive. Embalming a person’s final look was a way that kept that person’s memory alive. Becoming a mortician was a little morbid to most of her friends, so she appreciated Taeyong’s support.

Watching him focus on watering the garden, she was saturated in his love and care. Kiele had been the one to show interest in gardening when she discovered the garden the previous summer. Neither of them were skilled, but she enjoyed being under the sun as she cared for living plants. The grains of dirt between her fingers were satisfying after all the plucking and pruning.

Taeyong was good at picking the snails off the plants. He also tracked the plants’ progress better than her. His weakness came when he struggled to dig his knees and fingers into the earth as often as she did. She touched her hand to his chest, soaking in the warmth of his hold.

“I have you to protect me. You’ll swat all the gross bugs away.” He let her go and she brushed her loose tendrils behind her ears as she stood up straight. “How was the trip in Dallas?”

“I met a bunch of rich old guys. It was boring.”

“It’s wonderful that you went with Doyoung,” she said, taking his hand.

Taeyong had left for a week to go with his best friend to a golfing event in Dallas. It was a way for Doyoung to network in the circles of rich lawyers and their clients. Nothing could stop Doyoung from chasing his dreams of becoming a lawyer. Taeyong gave a sarcastic laugh, his eyes unmoved though his lips were curved upwards. His head shook from side to side as he clicked his tongue.

“At least you appreciate it,” he said. He tilted the garden hose to his left, directing the jets of water toward his carrots and cabbages planted in the earth. The pitter patter of wet droplets hitting the plants and earth was rhythmic, calming. “Doyoung said I just got in the way.”

“You know he appreciates that you went with him,” she said, stroking his neck with the pads of her fingers.

Their surroundings were tinted orange as she felt the sun’s rays warm the back of her legs. She cast a long shadow over Taeyong’s neatly planted carrots. The green tops were short, barely sprouting any leaves, indicating the carrots had just begun growing. Her fingers glided down his neck and along his shoulder before she took a step back.

“Sweetie,” he said, his tone going up a couple notes, “where are you rushing off to?”

“I have to shower, and then get ready for my morning class.” A shiver rode up her back as his cool fingers enclosed around her wrist.

“Stay,” he requested, pulling her body up against his before hooking his arm over her shoulders. His lips warmed her left temple with a kiss, bubbly warmth began to flood her mind. Was it chemistry or accounting class she had? Was it Thursday or Friday? “Stay with me for just a few minutes?”

She wrapped her arms around his waist, her fingers intertwined together as she held him securely. A week almost 1,500 miles apart had been difficult, she realized, feeling an urge to cry as she savored the feel and scent of Taeyong. Going a few days without seeing each other was normal for busy college students, but perhaps their fast approaching 3 Year Anniversary heightened her feelings. Squeezing her tight, he gave out a low exhale of air.

The urge to glide a palm over his crotch tempted her fingers to loosen. The low rumbling from a truck nearby mixed in with the chatter of two elderly ladies behind them was a reminder that, as early as it was, they were still out in public. Their eyes locked for a second and she smiled, feeling her cheeks warm.

“Welcome back, Ty,” the woman in the grey velour tracksuit greeted them with a hand wave. “Good morning, Kiele!”

“Morning Mrs. Roberts! Mrs. Nguyen!” they said in unison. A gust of warm wind directed the scent of wet earth into Kiele’s nose as Mrs. Nguyen waved at them.

“How are the cucumbers, Ty?” she asked as she and Mrs. Roberts strolled past the fence.

“The leaves are really green,” he replied. “The flowers have bloomed.” “Give it a few weeks!” Mrs. Roberts said, her voice growing distant as she and Mrs. Nguyen walked toward the front of the corner store.

Kiele enjoyed gazing over to the rose bushes lined up near the east end of the garden. Taeyong was putting the garden hose away into a large wooden crate beside the bushes. The previous summer, she’d found a green garden snake inside the crate. Since then, if Taeyong was gardening with her, he was responsible for storing the garden hose. Taeyong was friends with animals, while Kiele was working her way toward appreciating snakes like he did.

“The cucumber vines are prickly,” Kiele said, stooping down to look at the cucumber plant nearest to her. The thick white hairs on the green stem pricked the pad of her index finger as she pressed her finger against it. As she stood, he took hold of her wrist, and pulled her finger to his lips. Heat hit her cheeks, and she threw her arms around his neck. Burying her face into the crook of his neck, she softly said, “Thanks, baby.”

“Are we still on for lunch?” he asked. His arms wrapped around her body.

“Misfit at noon?” She let him go, resting her hands onto his arms. Misfit was her favorite sushi restaurant, and was only minutes from Taeyong’s place.

“Just you and me,” he said, his fingers gliding up her back to pull her closer to him. His fingers were warm, leaving a trail of sunshine along her back.

“I have to go,” she said softly. Biting her bottom lip, her chest was soaked with his warmth, hot as the sun.

“We can just spend all day in bed,” he said, his breath hitting her ear.

“You wouldn’t be able to,” she said, her smile faltering. Her fingers curled slightly as she felt a grey cloud touch her chest.

“Lunch at Misfit.” His hold on her tightened. She bit her bottom lip as her smile brightened.

“You have to let me go so I can get ready for the day, baby.”

He kissed her cheek before the warmth of his arms disentangled from around her. His hands grabbed hers before bringing them up to his lips. She beamed at him, her cheeks aching, before finally letting him go and returning back home.

--

Taeyong: your chest was hot sweetie literally warmed me up this morning

Kiele: u warmed me up 2 bb i make u hot like u make me hot 💓

Taeyong: yea 😏 😊

Kiele: ur bein dirty minded

Taeyong: I didn’t say anything

Kiele: this 😏 says enuff

Taeyong: 🥺 I want to eat you

Kiele: bb i miss ur tongue 😊

Taeyong: Starving for lunch 😏

It wasn’t that she’d found the pastel purple dress during their first trip together in Las Vegas. The store had been a thrift store he’d suggested they visit. Though it was nice that she only spent $8 on a vintage mod dress, that wasn’t why the sleeveless dress was her favorite either.

When they’d gone to the music festival in Vegas, the dress had caught onto a sharp metal edge and ripped. Taeyong, ever reliable, stitched the back of her dress on a broken plastic picnic table while Janelle Monáe performed to a beautiful desert sunset. She cherished the dress as a token of her love. That was the day she’d realized that she was in love with him.

Overcome with the memories of a time that seemed just weeks ago and yet a lifetime away, she vowed to kiss Taeyong the moment she would walk into Misfit. It didn’t matter if the restaurant was full. It didn’t matter if Taeyong had already begun eating. She needed to shower him with affection.

The familiar guffaws of Taeyong’s frat brothers rang into her ears before she caught sight of him with four of his brothers. The NCT frat brothers were comfortable at the bar set up at the end of the restaurant, all but the leftmost chair occupied. Taeyong stood out among the 5 handsome men in his black leather pants and studded belt, while the rest of them were casually wearing denim jeans.

Heachan’s leather jacket made him stand out just a little, but Taeyong’s ethereal eyes captivated Kiele, though she reluctantly scanned the group to see who he’d brought along. Jaehyun sat to Doyoung’s right while Taeyong sat to Doyoung’s left. Haechan was sandwiched between Jaehyun and Shotaro, who was resting comfortably at the right end of the bar.

Haechan and Shotaro were laughing, causing a bit of a scene. They wanted to cross arms before taking sips from their glasses of water. While Haechan and Shotaro laughed, spilling water over their fingers, Taeyong, Doyoung and Jaehyun talked over each other.

Taeyong thanked their waiter as he lined up 6 jade glasses, and took hold of the bottle of soju that sat beside him. Weeds of frustration crawled into her mind, seeing how energetic Taeyong’s friends were, fighting for his attention. Jaehyun and Doyoung were asking Taeyong if all of the special rolls they ordered were present, inspecting the platters before them. Taeyong hadn’t noticed her arrival.

“Kiele!” Haechan greeted her with a wide hand wave, turning around to look at her. Shotaro, with his sparkling brown eyes, lit up as he waved to her. He and Haechan set their waters down as Doyoung and Jaehyun passed down shot glasses to them. Taeyong looked over and his eyes softened, a smile appearing, as they locked eyes.

“Just you and me?” she asked Taeyong as he held the last chair at the bar out to her. Her shoulder hit the wall as she turned to look at him. Taeyong’s frat brothers cheered as they raised their shot glasses together.

“We had a thing at the house,” he said softly before planting a kiss on her cheek, “and they ended up here with me. I’m sorry, sweetie.”

His knee touched hers as his body was turned in toward her. She set her negative thoughts aside, the touch of his hand on her knee easing some tension, creating goosebumps up her thigh. Haechan and Shotaro’s guffaws were cute, the pair laughing as Jaehyun spilled soy sauce over his black denim jeans. He cursed, vigorously rubbing his navy blue napkin against his thigh.

“Let’s enjoy lunch with your bros,” she said, giving Taeyong a smile, squeezing his shoulder before turning to face the front of the bar. After a week apart, she reasoned that lunch with Taeyong’s friends would put them both in a good mood. Haechan and Shotaro seemed to be in high spirits, and their laughs were infectious.

“It’s unfair you blocked Kiele off in the corner,” Doyoung said, leaning over Taeyong to glance at her. “I was looking forward to tell you about a former forensics analyst who’s working a couple cold cases -”

“-We’re here for lunch and you want to talk about murder?” Jaehyun interrupted, leaning over Doyoung’s lap. “Leave the lovebirds alone, man.”

“We’re having a party tonight,” Taeyong said with a grin, nudging Doyoung’s shoulder. “You two can talk about Jane Does 34 and 42 in Dallas later.”

“Are you talking about the bodies found along Highway 175 in the 1990s?” Kiele asked, leaning over Taeyong.

“I knew it,” Doyoung shot a grin at Taeyong. He looked back at Kiele. “I told Taeyong you’d know about the cold cases-”

“-Seriously, guys,” Jaehyun said, picking up his chopsticks, “we’re eating raw fish and I don’t want to think about dead human remains.”

Doyoung groaned, shutting his eyes as Jaehyun drained his soju. Shotaro guffawed as Haechan choked on the sashimi in his mouth. He clapped Haechan’s back as Haechan’s eyes bulged out, his hands around his neck. Kiele dropped her chopsticks when Haechan began coughing loudly into his fist.

Having not even looked at the sushi the men had ordered, she stood. Her stomach was clenched tight. Guilt ate her up as she realized she was intruding on Taeyong’s time with his frat brothers.

“Baby, I don’t have an appetite,” she said, caressing Taeyong’s cheek with her hand. She bent down and kissed his cheek, marking him with a couple small dots of red lipstick stains. “I’m going home to do some homework. Are we still on for dinner at the Hilton?”

“Ah,” he said, wincing as he shut his eyes. “I’m going to have to reschedule and book us a room for another day. Johnny and Taeil are throwing me and Doyoung a Welcome Back party.”

“You were barely gone.”

“We have to show respect to our Prez and VP,” Jaehyun said, a sardonic half grin on his lips. He picked up a California roll and dunked it into his soy sauce. “Parties display dominance.”

“Yeah!” Haechan piped up, missing out on Jaehyun’s sarcasm. “NCT’s known for our parties.”

“We’re also associated with the non-profit organizations in arts and -”

“-Save us the PR speech, Doyoung. Kiele’s not in need of recruitment.”

Doyoung leaned over Jaehyun and poured half a bottle of soy sauce onto Haechan’s plate. Haechan’s eyes narrowed as Doyoung’s widened with his lips pressed tight into thin pink lines. The only thing stopping the men from throwing hands was Jaehyun sandwiched between them, his shoulder slumped and his eyes half shut. Taeyong stood and handed his plate to Haechan, trying to pacify him and Doyoung as Jaehyun casually asked Shotaro to pass some of the Volcano roll.

“Come on, guys, let’s enjoy lunch!” Taeyong said, patting Haechan’s shoulder. “We should eat well, so we can go buy food and drinks for the party.”

“I want a good lunch,” Doyoung said politely. His knuckles were white as he picked up a piece of tuna sashimi with a shaky hand. “Haechan’s pushing my buttons.” “That was a good piece of tempura roll you ruined!” Haechan outburst.

“Baby, call me later,” Kiele said, waving to Shotaro and Jaehyun as they ignored Doyoung and Haechan’s fight. Shotaro gave an enthusiastic wave while Jaehyun nodded his head toward her direction, giving her a small grin.

As she took the bus ride home, Kiele told herself not to become upset. An unpleasant sour sensation made her stomach hurt as she thought of the NCT Frat brothers always getting in the way. Taeyong couldn’t predict that Johnny and Taeil would seize another opportunity to throw a party on a Friday night. Granted, Taeyong had clearly explained to his frat house that he didn’t want any parties until after his 3 Year Anniversary with Kiele.

When she adjusted the strap of her purse on her shoulder, her stop approaching, Kiele’s thumb brushed against the stitch pattern on the left shoulder of her top. A smile appeared instantly as the memory of Taeyong stitching the rip in her dress appeared. Stepping out of the bus, she knew the negative thoughts were starting to disentangle from her mind.

Recalling how much his face lit up when they’d met that morning, alone together in the garden, Kiele didn’t want to lose that warmth. She didn’t want to be upset with him. It was just another frat party. Vowing to have fun drinking and talking with their friends at the party, Kiele knew that all that mattered was that she would be with Taeyong.

--

Taeyong: 🌹❤️💐❤️🌹 I’m sorry

Kiele: 💓 is ok miss you is all how was misfit

Taeyong: good when dy stopped his morbid talk It was a little lonely without u 🥺 dy wished you'd stay too jae was nervous about his audition for spring awakening the boys wanted sushi, I couldnt tell them no

Kiele: ur so good to ur boys bb party will be fun 💓

Taeyong: promise we’ll get alone time wear the same dress ? 😏

----

To Part 2

[juniperhillpatient]

If Azula is emotionally immature she would not be able to give Katara the comfort and emotional support that Katara needs(or other characters/ships).

I want relationship between them to be equal but I think that will not happen if one is emotionally immature and the other is emotionally mature.

I'm guessing you're referencing THIS post where I was asked about whether I think the fire siblings are emotionally mature or immature :)

I appreciate you taking the time to ask me about Azula & Katara, there are few things I love talking about more & I'm home sick in bed so it's a perfect time lol! TLDR: Azula & Katara's romance could take many paths both healthy & unhealthy & Katara doesn't necessarily have to be the perfect emotionally mature good girl (we see in the series that she too has unresolved trauma) but either way it's a good story. More below the cut because I wrote a novel

First I have to address the whole "I want them to be equal" thing. I think this falls in line with the common desire among people shipping fictional characters for the relationship to be "healthy." Everyone has different reasons for "shipping." I personally treat it as a creative writing exercise. Romantic relationships between fictional characters are interesting to me in the context of what they mean within a story & I do not choose romances to write about or fixate on because I think they are "healthy" or "goals." I choose them because I think they would make a good story

My ongoing Azultara story set in Buffy the Vampire Slayer verse has their romance start off very toxic going so far as cheating & destroying a building by having poorly timed post-battle sex & eventually choosing opposite sides in a supernatural war - not what I'd call the definition of healthy xD

My friend & fellow writer is posting a Life is Strange verse Azutara story that has them immediately becoming obsessed with each other & starting a massive forest fire as well as planning to run away together & it's quickly becoming one of my fave fanfics to obsess over so clearly I'm not in this for healthy relationship goals.

I mean, my favorite movie romance is Veronica & JD in Heathers, okay, I'm the wrong person to come to if you're seeking out perfectly balanced super healthy romance stories.

That said - let's talk about two aspects of this argument against Azula & Katara romance that I think you're hinting at. (& I don't think you personally are trying to argue or anything I'm just taking the chance to argue in favor of my favorite ship lol)

Katara is more emotionally mature than Azula & therefore might be pushed into a caretaker role

Azula could never be there for Katara emotionally the way Katara could for Azula

About the first point, I have two main counterarguments. First of all, who cares? Azula & Katara aren't real. I really don't feel any guilt enjoying the occasional story where Katara does take a bit of a caretaker role when it comes to a mentally broken & totally as of yet unredeemed Azula. That could be an interesting story that's in character for both girls. & again, that is my only reason for shipping characters. Second of all, most complex relationships aren't cut & dry "everything is always 100% equal." Azula & Katara would have a complex dynamic. Whether it's because in the series they were on opposing sides of a war or because in an alternate universe they have totally clashing personalities & values - that's a huge part of the appeal. Maybe early in the relationship, Katara is forced to take on the brunt of the emotional labor but later the two become more equal partners as Azula learns Katara's needs & wants to repay her for her mercy & kindness (as in THIS excellent story).

About the second point, I say....I don't think that's true. I actually think that Azula would have a very difficult time totally shutting someone as kind & compassionate as Katara out. Part of the appeal of the ship for me is that Azula is cold & detached from her emotions but hurting deep down & Katara is very in touch with her emotions & intense about it & she too is hurting a lot. Azula wouldn't know what to make of this loud intense compassionate girl who maybe tries to help her! Azula in series is not as compassionless as some fans like to believe. She goes to comfort & check on Zuko when he goes off to their old beach house alone. She comforts Ty Lee when she makes her cry. She's ruthless in a war setting, but that's how she's been trained to be - it doesn't mean that she couldn't be kind if given the chance.

Onto a part of this ask that I've yet to address - is Katara really emotionally mature?

Emotional maturity is a huge & vast topic. In my fire siblings post (I had to go back & look lol) I said: "emotional maturity is the ability to understand yourself & others & empathize as well as the ability to make your own decisions & come to your own conclusions about your values." I'll admit, I came up with that way to define it for the purposes of that question about the fire siblings. In this way, Katara who is idealistic & strong in her core values is very emotionally mature.

Katara also has a lot of unprocessed trauma though. We see in "Southern Raiders" that she hasn't actually dealt with losing her mother. Katara has a lot of buried rage & hurt. & maybe that's not the same as "emotional immaturity" but it definitely leaves her with her own issues.

My thing is - I do think Azula could be there for Katara. I think it would take a lot of growth on Azula's part, but again, the way characters can impact each other's arcs is what draws me to ships.

Also - Katara having her issues too only makes the ship more fun! There's something to be said about Katara exploring her darker emotions & getting the chance to let out anger. Azula obviously has a plethora of family drama. Katara isn't without it though - she spent a lot of her life without her dad around in canon & in an alternate universe there's a lot of potential to give the water family a lot of drama of their own. Hakoda & Sokka seem to have a much more repressive way of handling the grief of losing Kya while Katara is louder about her hurt. (If you want a story of mine that handles this check out my time travel story. If you want a story by someone else that gets even more into Katara's issues specifically, check out that Life is Strange story I mentioned earlier).

This post got long as fuck lol - also if I sounded argumentative toward you it wasn't intentional I just wanted to write an essay in favor of Azutara xD I think Azula & Katara have a lot of potential stories to be told about them whether platonic or romantic whether as enemies or friends or lovers (or all 3 in one story) - they're both fascinating complex characters with a lot to offer & a lot of reasons they'd be interesting together. Thank you for giving me the excuse to ramble about them! xoxo

[justanotherhh]

@tothedistantstars As a loveless aroace, this would be super interesting. Your Alastor meta is so good.

I have received praise, therefore I Must!

Aplatonic And Loveless Alastor Meta, Let’s Gooooooo (or how he stopped worrying and learned to love respect the other weirdos at the hotel on his own terms without having to be so normative about the whole thing)

Alastor’s dynamics with people can safely be said to fall outside of normative structures, both as we perceive them irl and within the show’s worldbuilding.

 I’ve already gone into how he’s the only main character that shows no romantic or sexual inclinations or (potential) storylines as of end s1 – the closest other character would actually be Husk, whose narrative with Angel will probably skew romantic, but currently is in that potential stage with nothing else known about Husk in terms of sexuality and romance outside of Word of God.

Alastor does not have that potential space in his storyline as the story currently goes, he stands firmly outside of romance (and sex) in every way (narratively, thematically, symbolically).

However, beyond the world of romance, what about Alastor and friendships? What about other kinds of love?

INTRODUCTION:

To begin with, a short description of both terms that this analysis falls under, that does not cover everything by far, for people who aren't in the know.

Aplatonic: people who do not experience platonic attraction. That is, they may not desire friendships or feel particularly emotionally close to people from a platonic perspective, or simply not relate to the word “platonic” as a way to describe their relationships. How people use the word aplatonic is personal to them, but it is generally used to describe a non-normative relationship to the concept of friendship.

Loveless: people with a non-normative relationship to the word “love.” They may not feel love, not understand what love means, desire to describe their relationships/feelings for others as based in something other than love, or perhaps feel disconnected from people in general, etc. Basically, if someone doesn’t think the concept of love is quite so cut and dry, they may describe themself as loveless.

These two ways of existing within the world do sometimes overlap, but not always. They may look completely different in two different people. They may be simple or complicated for any one person. They're both spectrums of experience, rather than fixed points.

For this analysis, I’m mainly going deeper into aplatonic Alastor, while the loveless part is used to underpin the analysis, although it's also given its own specific point.

Alastor’s Main Relationships (in short):

Niffty and Husk: Alastor’s relationships with these two is predicated on the fact that he owns their souls. Solidly non-normative and technically non-consensual, although Niffty at least doesn’t seem to mind (sidenote: Niffty’s relationship desires are also non-normative in my opinion. she's somewhere on the aro loveless spectrum in my soul).

Mimzy: the longest relationship that Alastor’s maintained, stemming from when they were alive. She comes to him when she needs something (usually protection), he sorts out her mess for her, she possibly sticks around for a bit and then leaves until the next time.

Rosie: is distinct from the other Overlords. She knows Alastor better than he knows himself. They have an easy shorthand, that ultimately boils down to them enjoying similar things (cannibalism) and helping one another gain more power.

The Overlords: overall I’d solidly call them colleagues, but cordial colleagues. They’re important for some things I’ll say about how Alastor keeps people at arm’s length, while still seeking attention from them.

Vox: I won’t go too deeply into Vox and Alastor on this one, because we actually don’t know too much about what they were like when they were on the same side. Was Alastor more of a mentor or someone using Vox, or did he consider Vox an equal? Did he ever allow Vox to touch him/hug him? How emotionally close did he allow Vox to get before it all fell apart?

The Hotel Gang: Something I think about is how Alastor and Niffty talk during the final episode. Niffty says she really likes the hotel gang, while Alastor says that one could grow accustomed and that he’s enjoyed watching them develop. I think this is a big clue to how Alastor relates to people.

How Alastor Relates To People

Alastor’s relationships, crucially, aren’t unsociable.

He finds people that are useful to his needs, and he offers them things in return. It’s transactional at heart, with the deals themselves being the clearest indicator of how he sees himself in relation to others, but it’s also – I think – nice for him to think of himself as a useful figure in peoples’ lives and he seems to mainly offer these deals and working relationships to people he likes.

He’s not cruel to Niffty and Husk (except for that one scene, in which his own worries cause him to lash out), and it seems he’s got quite a good reputation amongst the other Overlords. And while he can be bitingly sarcastic, he actually gets on quite well with The Hotel Gang as a whole, and Charlie – I think – grows to sincerely like him, even as he gets her to make a deal with him. And Alastor likes her too.

If he doesn’t like someone, they will know.

But while he’s – in his own way – good-natured and charming, he puts up big boundaries on these relationships, including the one he’s got with Mimzy. He’s not concerned (as far as we’re aware) about cutting her out of his life if she doesn’t adhere to his stipulations (some questions there about whether he had stipulations with Vox as well and what they may have looked like). Before that, there’s the feeling that it’s been a relatively one-directional kind of relationship. What did Mimzy give Alastor in return for his protection? Memories of being alive perhaps? A certain kind of connection to the past? Maybe he just liked her style? Positive reinforcement that he’s a big scary demon with a lot of power? (more on that last one in a bit)

When it comes to the Hotel Gang, he has grown closer to them, but he intentionally places himself as an outsider in comparison to the way they relate to each other – he’s watched them develop (he’s literally watching them from the balcony as he talks about it), he’s supported in that development, he’s grown accustomed to them. In that sense, they’re now his responsibility, his job. They’re not his friends. That’s not why he started this, and it’s not why he’s continuing it.

Beyond that he specifically believes he can mould Charlie into someone who will listen to him. Protégé vibes, but with some manipulation going on there. Charlie is the strongest relationship he’s built at the hotel, and she, likewise, isn’t his friend.

What he’s probably learning from all of this is how committed he is to his duties to the hotel, whether he believes, sincerely, in Charlie’s vision, and how far he’s willing to stick his neck out for it.

Would he call this friendship? Platonic connection? Love? I think, solidly, no.

Great Alastor Altruist Died For His Friends

The idea that Alastor could be remembered in this way literally causing a breakdown is so fun for me personally, when reading him with this POV. The idea that he could be – perhaps – misread as contrary to who he is as one of the things that specifically pains him in this moment...

There’s a lot of unknowns moving forward with regards to this line, and the follow-up that he’s going to wrest back control as soon as he’s out of his own deal. He’s built a front for who he is, but it is also who he is – he’s a terrifying demon with a penchant for sadism (although, it seems so far, only for people who “deserve” it, according to him), and he doesn’t do “altruism” or “friends.”

He does deals, colleagues (which really are just another form of deal – he doesn’t steer Rosie wrong, she offers him soul real estate, they both assist in nudging Charlie in the direction that’s most beneficial, etc.), 5D chess manipulations, scheming, power, and control.

But does he do love?

Does Alastor Do “Love”?

So far, no signs to suggest that he does. He doesn’t fall in love, but he also doesn’t relate to people on the basis of love in general. He doesn’t feel drawn to people because he “loves” them, he’s drawn to people with whom he can create a mutually beneficial relationship that’s guaranteed to ultimately work in Alastor’s favour.

He doesn’t seem to continue those relationships if he doesn’t like the person and/or they don’t align with what he believes is good practice (see, Vox, Mimzy), but the basis of them doesn’t come from a desire for love (or, for that matter, for friendship).

His motivations for relationships are fundamentally based in other sources than the norm. Deal-making. Ownership. Power hierarchies. Entertainment. Gain. His own, first and foremost, but there’s no need to fuck it up for someone else for no reason. None of these things are even necessarily bad on their own, especially if Alastor gets to nudge some of what they can look like to the left (more on that later).

Alastor likes people. He doesn’t – as of end of season 1 – love them.

He doesn’t – as of end of season 1 – necessarily consider them friends either.

As of the end of season 1 he likes The Hotel Gang. He enjoys being involved in their narrative. He wants to see what happens next – he wants to control what happens next, to be indispensable to that narrative. And, of course, as of end s1, he wants to use the situation to get out of whatever deal he’s in that isn’t (it seems) beneficial to him.

And if someone gets too close, or changes the nature of his deals with them, he tries to dislodge, however he can. Whether it’s Vox’ and his undisclosed falling-out, his ultimatum to Mimzy, or his desperate need to free himself from his own deal.

Not a Lover, kind of a Hater, but also a secret Third Thing (someone who likes terms and conditions).

Alastor And Attention

So what does Alastor want from people? Well, along the lines of the joke when I was saying that Mimzy potentially helps him feel like a big bad demon, Alastor wants people to notice him, while also being totally enigmatic and opaque.

He likes being the centre of attention, the guy who fixes things, the protector, the feared one, the one who’s on top of situations. He likes entertainment (including for others to be entertaining), to tell stories, to be the voice on the radio, to control the narrative, to be the most powerful and interesting guy in the room, and for nobody at all to know who he really is.

And he gets frustrated when this isn’t the case. He’s annoyed when Carmilla doesn’t ask him about where he was for seven years (even though he has no intention of telling anyone), he despises Lucifer’s presence – for several reasons, but also because Lucifer threatens to take his place as most invaluable member of the hotel (which he reminds the Hotel Gang of by dramatically tearing attackers apart, like a Show), and I’m sure no small part of his meltdown is that getting defeated by Adam proved that he’s fallible to an audience, that he can be beat, that he’s not as strong as he makes himself out to be (and on live TV no less!)

Alastor’s relationships with relationships can be neatly summed up by him as a radio demon. Perceive him only to the extent that he wishes to be perceived, on his terms, with him controlling the flow of information. (Terms and conditions apply).

The Outliers

The way Alastor is with the Overlords feels pretty telling, that is, that he’s as charming and polite with them as he is with anyone – the persona is up as much with them as with the people at the hotel. That doesn’t mean that there aren’t people he’d do more for than others.

A few people have special rights (especially Niffty, Rosie, previously Mimzy, and now Charlie), which so far has a gendered component to it (that is, Alastor seems to enjoy the company of women more than men), and each of these is a little different to the other, but with some overlap.

Niffty and Alastor, I think, are birds of a feather in that they are incredibly Other in their way of relating to people around them, and they understand this about each other. There’s an ease of shorthand that they don’t have to explain or disclaim. Niffty, I think, is also someone that really embraces Alastor as a protective, supportive figure, while letting go of her own agency. He gives her exactly what she wants (although it’s still to be seen if it’s what she needs in the long run) and doesn’t expect more from her than what she already wants to do.

Rosie and Alastor have similar needs and support each other in getting them. Rosie, I think (and it’s already somewhat confirmed), knows a lot more about Alastor than he does about himself, and crucially doesn’t push on that front. She lets Alastor come to her and enjoys his company, allowing him his boundaries, and for her he’s kind of safe on the whole. They’re allies and unless something really big changed, they don’t really have to fear from each other (while probably still making sure to keep half an eye out, especially as Alastor doesn’t control Rosie in the way he does other relationships).

Mimzy and Alastor I’ve already gone into, and once again, Alastor is kind of a safe presence to her.

Alastor is building himself up as a safety net for Charlie, and again, he’s putting himself in control of the relationship as a mentor-type figure. There’s definitely a whole bunch of mystery about some of his intentions, but I also think he like… just does this? With people he likes? It follows a pattern. He admires/is interested in/fascinated by someone for some reason (because of their talent, power, oddness, etc) and makes himself indispensable by way of getting some kind of ownership over them.

Quite possibly, making a deal with Alastor is kind of a compliment then? He likes what you've got to offer (power, guts, talent, etc) and he's going to support it. And also use it.

Also, I think he enjoys all of the above as entertainers/performers – Niffty is his weird avant garde little freak, Rosie and Mimzy are his classic jazz dance partners, and Charlie is the musical theatre kid and public speaker. (everything in the hellaverse comes back to performance doesn’t it).

So Who Is Alastor?

Presuming Alastor doesn't become an out and out villain by the end (which feels like the more boring version of things):

I firmly believe that Alastor is still being Found Family’d, but not as a character who’s learning that deep down he really loves people and wants to be friends, although, I think in the context of the show proper, they probably will put a friendship label on it, because not many people Know about aplatonic or loveless for that matter. That being said, this wouldn't actually negate an aplatonic or loveless read, because in many ways it makes sense for Alastor to use that word, even as his emotional realm looks very different to many others.

Neither of these words negate the ability to form what someone would call friendships - especially with a lack of more nuanced wording, which Alastor wouldn't have - they're just very different from the norm in what dimensions they take.

Alastor is a feral cat that comes to tolerate people, and scratches anyone who’d dare harm the hotel and those who pass through it.

His enjoyment is in the story, and in the idea that he’s a vital part in the telling of it, alongside the destruction of pure black-and-white heaven-and-hell morality, the souls who pursue change… it’s compelling to him, as much as he has more specific hidden motivations as well with his own deal.

His role at the hotel, I think, won’t technically change much, in that - unless the hotel and/or the need for it is destroyed for good - he could continue being the host/hotelier (consigliere is more like), because that’s what he enjoys doing and it puts him at the centre of Things. The hotel is his, and consequently everyone coming through and their souls, so to speak, are also his. And he protects what’s his.

The idea of ownership and being an adviser could shift to something that’s more holistic than it currently is, although it’s not totally unhealthy as it stands, it’s just that not everyone is into relationship structures that sign away their souls, so maybe less of that and more of... simple trust.

I think this season 1 group of people will be special, because they're the people who will come to know him better against his will/better judgement probably, and that creates a space in his own hierarchy of who matters (also in my heart of hearts, eventually Angel Dust and Alastor find a commonality, because Angel really is one of the girls + a killer performer + someone who's been ill-used and while that's still somewhat fanon, I like an Alastor that detests the way Valentino goes about the soul-owning business. He has no style, because he treats the talent abysmally).

Alastor is learning to believe in Charlie’s vision, and perhaps part of that growth will also be setting aside his self-interest to help her with her dream (no doubt, with some betrayal and hurt along the way), while also being less afraid of letting (some) people know him a little better, and letting them help him, without the fear that comes with everything being inherently based in transaction.

Alastor might learn to trust more, perhaps, that his core being isn't monstrous because of how he relates to others. That his particular boundaries can be respected, while also being respectful of others. That the being he's created, because he's felt Other isn't necessary as a facade anymore.

and if he wants to tear people apart with tentacle shadows on top of that knowledge, I'm sure hell can oblige him.

Conclusions And Rambles

While I was writing this I kept thinking about his relationship with his shadow, but until we know more about it (is it him, is it him but not, is it truly something else, etc.) I simply cannot comment on it.

What was fun to think about really was who gets special precedence in his un-life, and what constellations they take. It really is very specific and easy to track what draws Alastor to people, and how his particular boundaries work.

He's someone whose motivations are so very different in nature to the other characters, and while that's also because he's got a shadowy (ha) past, that in and of itself feels like great symbolism. His being very Other within the hotel comes from the narrative, but it also comes from his being, and those things feed each other and lend themselves very easily to this kind of analysis --

is he Other because he's built walls or did he build those walls because he is Other?

Take away romance, take away love, take away sex, take away the desire to make/have friends, and what you've got is an incredibly interesting character that functions fundamentally outside of most normative frameworks, both within the text-as-grey-morality-demon whose motivations we don't fully know yet and who likes to keep people guessing, and as a well-realised, anxiously guarded boundary-forming aplaroace loveless person that has created himself a safety net from smiles and threats and deals and charm and power, because of the unnamed otherness that makes him feel vulnerable.

take away the mask and we find... perhaps someone who's actually quite similar to who he is now, except he's shaking and screaming and crying, because the mask was removed.

And considering he doesn't have the words himself, I wonder at the terror that comes with hermeneutical lacunae (something that many people without access to words describing their experiences have no-doubt felt), the terror that there is only the Other, that nobody else in existence feels disconnected from what is often called the fundamental emotional drive in humanity, the terror that if he were to try to learn about himself, there would be nothing else to find, just a great Nothingness, and so he really is just a monster...

and the terror that maybe there is something to find, that there are words and experiences that he can relate to, and how it would feel to know he's not special, he's not Other, would he feel cowardly for not searching for those words? Weaker? He created power out of powerlessness, but real power comes from knowing yourself. But maybe he's afraid of that.

At the end of the day, being a monster is easier.

but also Alastor, you can know yourself and still do a hecking cannibalism violence, it's not an either/or, it's okay. Frankly, to this audience member, Alastor's ability to tear other demons to pieces for infringing on his personal space is incredibly empowering.

And that's a-spec culture too.

been a month or so since I've written anything about Alastor, wondering about exploring him from the perspective of being aplatonic and loveless.... things to think about

[writingforatwistedworld]

Honestly twst not being a dating sim was a bummer. Just... Don't let the self-aware twst boys know I play obey me because those boys are romanceable and they aren't

Dw we siblings in arms. Like yes, I would love it if there were side chapters in which you could start a relationship with them. Azul! You can run but you can't escape me!

I absolutely love it so much that you actually see how the brothers in Obey me live with each other and how the relationship between you and them develops over time. I was so intrigued when I found out years ago that it wasn't that kind of cut and dry “choose your route” type of game. (Nothing against those but they most of the time focus so much on the person you choose that it feels like the other characters are just shadows and decorations.)

[nakajimaakane]

Akane-chan you're active again! It's been so long! I notice you have ceased reading Voltage too? I mean I get it now that there are less good stories there. Anyway, I also play MLQC, Wannabe and ToT, and they're far better than Voltage nowadays, aren't they? Just curious, who do you like the most?? Like I see your posts vary, but my guess it between Luke and Artem, right right??

hi anon! honestly, seeing asks from those who have known me since before my years of hiatus really made my day! firstly, thank you for dropping by in my askbox, i’m always happy to answer or just to converse at all!

i’ll put my response under the cut since it contains a lot of personal opinion others may not agree on :3

to answer you, yes, i read less of Voltage nowadays, mainly because of my status as a last year college student with a baggage of ongoing thesis and as much as i refrain to say it, yes, some other games like Tears of Themis really outdoes Voltage in some vital aspects. another factor that made me just done with them is the LC system, honestly that really wrings me dry. to me that’s kinda a rip-off with not much of major substance, especially for after stories they do in Destind. and do you know how Voltage is splitting everything in 2 parts now? i get why they do it, like with Oops, I Said Yes?! for example. the storyline and everything are great and all, so i’ll continue buying each of the upcoming story since it’s still manageable and a fun read overall. but i can’t barely believe it when i saw in JP app that the new title is LC and is separated into at least more than one part, like how much of that would cost? there’s even a bad ending for it so if you don’t spend any hearts at all, there’s a chance of you not getting good end like they do in MK and RMD, but a bad ending altogether.

maybe i’ve held this for a while now and that’s why i’m letting it all out to you anon, i’m so sorry. but well, you can say that’s also one of the whys i read Voltage less now, and i believe this isn’t the first time i’ve been asked too. but please don’t get me wrong, some titles are still good, like Oops, I Said Yes?! (even if it’s pricey, the story is still worth it, i’m waiting for Shu’s epilogue next!), Her Love in the Force (they’re far better now than in 2016), My Last First Kiss (as silly as it sounds, i’m rediscovering my love for this title after the 6th year sale), Irresistible Mistakes (some are pretty great, to me it’s Natsume), Our Private Homeroom (this title has everything, shame it’s just underrated), Romance MD (for the sub-stories), and Masquerade Kiss (honestly if forced, this title is the only one i’d spend hearts for). Kings of Paradise is great too, i’ve read some but the overall theme isn’t my usual go-to story so i only buy the ones that interests me the most. as for the f2p, SLBP is pretty good and dare i say that it’s the only title i’m constantly following from the start until now without long break.

that... turned out to be a long hella rant, i’m so sorry again.

and then moving on to Tears of Themis! yes, i love this title so so so much! so far, everything is going great in this game. my only complaints are how the AP is charging not quite fast enough and there’s a limit to S-chips you can get every week. aside from that, everything is simply perfect. SSR cards from gachas are actually pretty doable, the art is hella amazing, voice acting is on point and each character is unique in its own way, and even the MC is more than what i could have imagined! the main, personal and card stories are so great and i’m hooked every single time. everything makes sense and that’s why i love Tears of Themis in terms of storyline, MC and the depth of it all.

as for who i like the most... honestly you’re not far off the mark, but it’s more like i also love all of them too? like i love Rosa and Luke’s chemistry, mentor-subordinate relationship between her and Artem, playfulness here and there between her and Marius, and how eloquent and smooth everything is between her and Vyn? i basically ship her with any boy who shows up lol. but i think when it comes down to it, Luke and Artem’s personal stories indeed make me can’t wait to level up to read the next chapter. like there’s Luke and his bittersweet situation and Artem’s personal story is just the perfect balance of fluff and workplace conflict. i suppose that’s my kind of story :3

how about you anon? who do you like the most? looking forward to your reply! :)

[voidstilesplease]

By the Angel, TALK

Warning: THIS IS AN ANTI-CLARY AND JACE SPOILER RANT because I need an avenue to let out some of the steam I've been holding off since starting City of Fallen Angels. So PLEASE SKIP AHEAD because I don't want to burden you all with my reading woes.

This thing centers on the beginning of Chapter 9: From Fire Unto Fire and a little bit of Chapter 8. About eight pages of bad, bad romance set me off.

To start,

The rest is under the cut, so you can go away now.

So, what's been happening to Clary and Jace thus far?

This book introduced them now as an official couple, picking up from the end of TMI Book 3: City of Glass. I don't remember their every scene since then to the point in Chapter 9 where I stopped, but basically, they're having relationship issues early on. They're less than two months into their relationship, and the drama is too frickin much. 

Jace has these weird dreams about murdering Clary and waking up guilty about his subconscious thoughts, so he goes angsting about it and avoiding her, snapping at her, being a total dick, and still question why people think they are on the brink of a break-up. 

So, Jace goes with Simon in the next few scenes, in his plight to get away from her as far as possible, yet still be somehow close by being around Clary's best friend to "protect" him, so his distant behavior will be reasonable and forgivable. Yeah, make that make sense. 🙄 But of course, one way or another, they're going to have to get to the confrontation part (that I still wish had been equivalent to an actual break-up), and so that's when Chapter 8 & 9 enters.

Chapter 8: Walk in Darkness pp. 185-186

Almost instantly, the light went out of them, and the remaining color drained out of his face. "I thought --- Simon said you weren't coming." ¹

[...] "So you only came because you thought I wouldn't be here? [...] Were you ever planning on talking to me again? [...] If you're going to break it off, the least you could do is tell me, not just stop talking to me and leave me to figure it out on my own."

"Why does everyone keep goddamn asking me if I'm going to break up with you? [...]²

First, what an asshole?! 

[1] So Jace finally in-your-face's Clary and confirms that he has been keeping his distance like Clary has the plague. He then has the audacity to [2] be annoyed for being questioned on his intentions of keeping the relationship that he has been actively evading for days!

I get that Jace sucks in romantic relationships and has been fucked up by his daddy-issues, but he has the Lightwoods. Heck, Alec is his parabatai. He sees working relationships, so he has to have known that you don't just stop talking to people close to you and have them not question the behavior, whether you're trying to pull away from them or not. Otherwise, then Jace is dumb for all that he's marketed as the "best" Shadowhunter in his age. Screw that.

---

“You talked to Simon about us?" Clary shook her head. "Why? Why aren't you talking to me?"

"Because I can't talk to you," Jace said. "I can't talk to you, I can't be with you, I can't even look at you."³

[3] Way to make a girl feel special, Jace. Oh, no, yeah. He's trying to do the opposite and push her away with some teenage boy angst that doesn't make any sense. Like, who says that, though, aside from dramatic love interests that can't make a better excuse for going emo? 

That line IS TOO DRAMATIC that it hurts, ugh. 🤮

Anyway, so Clary walks out after that. I don't sympathize with her, but I'd do the same. Who wouldn't? Unless you freeze in the ridiculousness of the situation, that is, which is also likely.

Chapter 9: From Fire Unto Fire pp. 190-195

Now, here's the real shit. I want to quote this entire six-page scene back to Cassie and scream at her.

Clary reached the door and burst out into the rain-drenched evening air. [...] and was about to race across the street against the light when a hand caught her arm and spun her around.

It was Jace. [...] "Clary, didn't you hear me calling you?"

"Let go of me." Her voice shook.

"No. Not until you talk to me."⁴

[4] DUDE, what even happened to your I CAN'T TALK TO YOU, I CAN'T EVEN LOOK AT YOU speech, huh? Be consistent for once, apart from your douchebag routine. Make up your mind, Jace.

---

Still holding her by the arm, he half-dragged her around the van and into a narrow alley that bordered the Alto Bar. ⁵

[5] Man, I love a bit of rough loving in my literature, but I'm so pissed at you, Jace, don't even. Lay the hell off.

---

"I was going to tell you that I was trying to help out Simon. [...]

"And you couldn't tell me? Couldn't text me a single line letting me know where you were?"⁶ [...]

[...]

"I think," he said slowly, "that I thought that the closest thing to being with you was being with Simon. Watching out for him. I had some stupid idea that you'd realize I was doing it for you and forgive me---"⁷

[6] Addressing the lack of communication, that's a great path to follow. These two need to talk so bad. [7] But this line? Sucks Balls. You could be with her, Jacey, and save all the readers your drama if you only pull your head out of your ass and try to communicate. It's like you're allergic to it.

---

She took a step back, blindly, and nearly tripped over an abandoned speaker. Her bag slid to the ground as she put her hand out to right herself, but Jace was already there. He moved forward to catch her, and kept moving until her back hit the alley wall, and his arms were around her, and he was kissing her frantically.⁸

[8] Not only is this achingly cheesy, but it's also totally not the way they should be going off about their situation. They were already talking -arguing, yes, but they're still using words to reach out, and their relationship absolutely cannot be healthy without them. Thus far, they have spoken so less in comparison with the times they've spent canoodling. They're not solving anything by having drama on one second and getting it on with dramatic kissing on the next.

I don't care what Clary says about being so lost in love with Jace. He's treating her like shit. The least he can do is give her answers that she has the right to demand from him. Kissing is not an answer. But, well, maybe to Clary, it is because the next parts from page 192 to 194 are spent on softcore porn in a dark alley under the frickin rain. I bet that's a very romantic setting in their minds, huh.

---

And now this part:

It was nerve-wracking. She could feel the feverish heat that came off him; her hands were still on his shoulders, but it wasn't enough. She wanted him wrapped around her, holding her tight. "W-why," she breathed. "can't you talk to me? Why can't you look at me?"

He ducked his head down to look into her face. His eyes, surrounded by lashes darkened with rainwater, were impossibly gold.

"Because I love you."⁹

[9] Is that supposed to make me tingle? SET ME ON FIRE, but that is the lousiest I love you in books that I have ever read. AND IT'S THE ONLY ONE THAT DOESN'T MAKE SENSE, at all!

Shut up with this, can you please. It's not romantic at all. It's a dumb excuse and an even dumber love from the two dumbest people in this whole frickin series. Oh my god.

Clary, realistically, will frown at this answer. She will pull the hell away and spat him in the face with how demeaning his love is if it can make her sick to the stomach with thinking he has already gone bored and is only cooking the perfect way to cut off their connection. He hasn't given her a sound reason, only desperate declarations of love like he's trying to convince them both that it's true. And it doesn't make sense how she's still plastered around him in the cold, trying to convince the readers that every word from Jace has deeper meanings that she understands no matter how gibberish they are. I'm not buying that, okay? Stop selling your larger-than-life connection bullshit because that isn't real.

You've only been together for two months, okay? The strongest you can feel for each other is lust. And it's showing.

---

His hands slid down to her waist and he kissed her, long and lingering, making her shudder.

She pulled away, "That doesn't make any sense."

"Neither does this," he said, "but I don't care. I'm sick of trying to pretend I can live without you. Don't you understand that? Can't you see it's killing me?"¹⁰

She stared at him. She could see that he meant what he said [...] Her desire for answers battled the more primal part of her brain, and lost. "Kiss me then,"¹¹

[10] NOBODY THREATENED YOU UNDER BLADE TO DO THAT BULLSHIT, so shut the hell up with the whining. [11] and Clary, I am so disappointed. You've both just drained me, and I'm dry inside like a raisin.

The next paragraphs describe their very erotic kissing against the wall. Jace, propping her up and her legs around his waist bull crap. Seriously? Am I supposed to believe these two are, what sixteen?- up until Isabelle thankfully ruins their moment by kicking a garbage can that would look better with Jace and Clary in it tbh.

---

And the nastiest horseshit of all:

Clary looked at Jace. At any other time, they would have laughed together at Isabelle's moodiness, but there was no humor in his expression, and she knew immediately that whatever they had had between them ---whatever had blossomed out of his momentary lack of control--- it was gone now. [...]

"Jace---" she took a step toward him.

"Don't," he said, his voice very rough. "I can't."¹²

And then he was gone [...]

[12] No, I frickin CANNOT. His actions keep on contradicting his words, and he's fickle and can't decide which mood to settle, and it's so exhausting, honestly. He wasted a few pages for a cosmic, meaningless declaration of feelings. They're empty words. At this point, I believe the writing only strives to convince the readers that these characters care for each other but is shitty at showing it.

It's not love, because they say it is love.

---

I was already gaining hope for this book, and then one simple few-pages scene with clace squishes it, smearing the innards on my face.

Honestly, TALK OR TAKE A BREAK. This back and forth can't continue throughout the rest of the book or -heaven forbid- the rest of the series. Or at least, put these characters in the background if they really must drag on this problem, because I care not a lick.

Bye.

[poubelle-squelette]

I just wanted to pop in real quick and say that, thanks to your latest chapter, I realized that I have a squish!! And it's!! the worst!? But I appreciate you writing from a perspective that isn't usually talked about in most romantic stories. I related so hard to Sans, and how awkward and confusing it can be to have these kinds of emotions for someone. Feelings aren't always so cut and dry, and I'm so thankful that your writing explores and respects that!

oh gosh. squishes aren’t supposed to be bad! they’re just like. friend crushes. people who you want to be close to but not necessarily want a romantic relationship with LOL. i hope your situation stops being “the worst” because IT SHOULD BE GOOD AND WHOLESOME ;A;

but thank you, i’m glad you are liking my take so far. i’ve been having a blast writing something that is a bit more unconventional. i think a lot of fic writers want to rush to romance and there’s nothing bad with that! it just...i got bored LOL and it’s a bit overdone so i’ve been having a great time exploring other life experiences.

i gotta say that the messages i receive about readers being able to relate to sans are probably my favorite ones right now. not that i dislike my other comments, but i get a lot that are like “i don’t get it” or “he’s just stringing her along” or “nah he’s totally in love with her” or “if he has to think about it he’s not in love with her at all” but you really hit the nail on the head by saying that feelings aren’t always so cut and dry.

and, to be fair to sans, he was in the middle of sorting his shit out when he felt a bit put on the spot. and he could have not said anything but the fact that he did shows how much he’s grown as a character and how much trust he places in squish. that in itself i think shows a lot of love cuz he knows she’s not gonna smash his soul when he’s working through confusing feelings.

lol, sorry i know that was a bit of a tangent at the end there. i just really enjoy my smol husband. but seriously, thank you for your ask :) i really appreciate it!