sheepneep

[sheepneep]

Admitting that ever since he joined the campaign trail the billionaire tech mogul had refused to leave him alone, President-elect Donald Trump reportedly locked the bathroom door Tuesday so Elon Musk couldn’t follow him in again. “All right, Elon, out,” an audibly frustrated Trump had said moments earlier as he stood up from the toilet and grabbed Musk by the scruff to throw him out, the SpaceX founder having barged in through the slightly ajar door, sat at his feet, stared into his eyes, and loudly whined. Full Story

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With the knowledge that Vulcan has regularly high winds & subsequent sandstorms I propose a type of guy: midwestern dads watching tornadoes but for Vulcans. Somebody's uncle Sovar standing outside with his hands on his hips watching a massive cloud roll closer. Unconcerned because this happens, like, every couple of weeks. He's like "this one is large, is it not" yes it is go back inside Sovar

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Bram Stoker wrote Mina Harker phenomenally then everyone else has been trying to "fix her" and falling flat on their face tripping over their own clown shoes

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Enough of this deception. I love Mary sues- I love living vicariously through a badass female lead. You can rip her out of my cold dead hands.

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ship of theseus except it's two robot girlfriends swapping parts until they're not sure whose bits started where and don't particularly care anymore

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The world is so obsessed with young ppl everything is about what the youth is doing. Everyday id mag is releasing an article on what young ppl in Tokyo are wearing what about middle aged ppl or old ppl who have lived long enough to know the patterns of humanity. Are they not interesting or what

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My friends thought I was weird when I said I'd fuck the live-action Grinch. I said, "He wears a garter; don't tell me you wouldn't," but they remained unconvinced (or in denial; we'll never know). I'm glad you and the other Grinchfuckers Anonymous on Tumblr get it 🙏

your friends said you were weird?!?! do they have EYES?????? 🙈🙈🙈

'they remain unconvinced' oh, i'm sure that they're just repressing their feelings 😂💖 there is no way anyone could walk away from Jim Carrey's Grinch without feeling a little bit affected, right? Martha May Whovier had the right idea 🙈🙈🙈

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does anyone wanna hold hands until we feel a little braver

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i saw wallace slice up the moon and eat it as cheese on a cracker as a kid and i just haven’t known true satisfaction since

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semidark

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I can't be the first to make this connection

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adhd paralysis sucks bcuz im just sitting there and my brain is like

YOU ARE WASTING TIME YOU ARE WASTING TIME YOU ARE WASTING TIME YOU ARE WASTING TIME YOU ARE WASTING TIME YOU ARE WASTING TIME YOU ARE WASTING TIME YOU ARE WASTING TIME YOU ARE WASTING TIME YOU ARE WASTING TIME

no work done no rest gained. literally no point of this at all

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One quiet day on the farm, the Little Red Hen found some wheat seeds and decided to make bread.

"Who will help me plant these seeds?" the Little Red Hen asked.

"I would." said the Horse "But I'm a workhorse, and I'm too busy moving carts around."

And so the Little Red Hen planted the seeds by herself. And they grew into bountiful golden crops.

"Who will help me harvest the wheat?" the Little Red Hen asked.

"I would." said the Dog "But I'm a guarddog, and I'm too busy keeping away burglars and predators."

And so the Little Red Hen harvested the wheat herself and made it into flour.

"Who will help me bake the flour?" the Little Red Hen asked.

"I would." said the Pig "But I'm a mother of 5 newborn piglets, and I'm too busy taking care of my young."

And so the Little Red Hen baked the bread herself into twenty beautiful loaves.

"Who will help me eat the bread?" the Little Red Hen asked.

"We would." said the Farm Animals. "But we're ashamed, for we didn't do anything to make the bread."

"Nonsense!" said the Little Red Hen. "You, Horse, helped move around the stones that built my oven. You, Dog, kept me safe while I worked. And you, Pig, are raising a new generation of Farm Animals, who will too contribute to our Farm one day. You've all helped me so much by simply being you."

"Besides," the Little Red Hen added. "I couldn't possibly eat all the loaves on my own, most of them would go to waste. Come, eat with me."

And so the Little Red Hen and the Farm Animals ate the bread together. And all saw their own, and each other's, worth.