#i love random tumblr friendships even if we never talk i give you hugs and boops

[styleandcheek]

Me delighting in booping friends and random strangers on the internet 🙂‍↕️

HAPPY ALMOST HALLOWEEN

[tarosin]

the great adventures of y/n tommy jack and tubbo

requested: yes/no

an: part 6 of the great adventures series - swimming with the boys

warning: cursing

an: starts with tubbo&y/n friendship as i had an idea, sorry if tumblr messes up paragraphs again, tried to make this gender neutral i’m sorry if it doesn’t come off that way, as always anything with y/n and the others especially tubbo is platonic

twitter had been going crazy the past few days. you had been telling your community something was happening, however you weren't going to tell them what. today was the day you were going to reveal what was happening, tubbo made a tweet that he was outside, and sent you a text he was in your street and to start streaming.

you started your stream like any other stream, however this time you were streaming from your phone rather than your pc, and at a much later time. you spent 10 minutes talking to chat, making comments that someone was going to randomly walk into your room of course your chat didn’t believe you until,

“Hiya y/n!”

tubbo walked into your room and stood behind your chair leaning over in order to give you a hug. chat started spamming asking what was going on.

“well chat tubbo is here for a reason and we’re not allowed to tell you why, but we did decide to stream late for a reason. you may notice it’s getting dark outside, however we’re doing a camping stream, except you ain’t watching us sleep!”

the stream wasn't going well, you and tubbo couldn’t put the tent up, mainly because you lost the pegs for the tent. you did however have an air mattress and two thick blankets. you both looked at each other and nodded. within 10 minutes the air mattress was blown up and had a blanket laying on it, and you and tubbo sat comfortably chatting to the viewers. within minutes the pair of you were trending again, this time with pictures of you both sat together with the blanket and fairy lights wrapped around you both so that you could both be seen on stream.

“well chat it’s getting pretty late we’re going to do something for a little while-”

“STARGAZING!”

“guess we’re going to stare at the stars for a bit, then figure out if we actually want to sleep outside. we will see you all later, thank you all for showing up to this random stream. i’m gonna raid ranboo, goodnight!” you waved goodbye and tubbo ended the stream for you. a shooting star was passing, full of excitement you tapped tubbos thigh and pointed at the star telling him to make a wish. the pair of you laid on the air mattress under the stars, eventuality you both drifted asleep.

the both of you woke up to the sound of your mother telling you that you had around an hour to get ready before jack and tommy would be there. soon enough, as always you and tubbo were sat in the back of jacks car while you set off on your adventure. like normal, you all sang along to the radio, until you and tommy decided to yell at random cars that passed you, giving jack flashbacks from the time he took you and tommy to tesco and a lake. this went on for a long time as the water park was a lot further than any other adventure you all went on. “is now a bad time to say i can’t swim?”

“are you joking y/n? please tell me you’re joking!”

you just sat laughing, tubbo took this as a sign to tell the now concerned jack that you could in fact swim, you just wanted to see their reaction.

“i thought you both said you were never going on an adventure with us again?”

“you know what they say...people change like the tides in the ocean...did i say that right?”

you and tommy filmed the intro to the vlog and then you all walked into the changing room. you and tubbo went off straight away to get ready, tommy and jack instantly commented on how warm it was, then putting the blame on the lights that looked like the sky, before deciding to get ready. like the others you wore a shirt over your swimsuit, the four of you then made your way to the pools.

“holy shit!”

“what the fuck there’s no one here like at all!”

you all passed the lifeguards on the way to the pools, thanking them for their service. you could already tell this was going to be a long day for them watching over all four of you, especially because you and tommy kept joking about drowning each other.

“this is ours...for the whole day!”

you stood recording your pov whilst tommy ran into the water, the rest of you following shortly after. for a few minutes you all decided to float in the wave pool, realising that shouting you were drowning or couldn’t swim probably wasn’t your smartest idea. everything was going well till you heard tubbo shouting to you and tommy as he realised he still had his phone in his pocket.

“next vlog is going to the apple store so tubbo can replace his phone..”

whilst he went to put his phone away, tommy dragged you under the water with him and jack for a split second, and wouldn’t tell you why.

“stop tryna drown me!”

you watched as tommy struggled to climb onto the surface nearby, followed by tubbo climbing on and being pushed off in seconds.

walking up the stairs you and tommy joked about this being physically exhausting,

“you both literally did a military assault course...this is a water park for children.”

you started defending your point that this was a lot more exhausting, especially as your ankle had only just healed from the military assault course. once up the stairs you were met by a capsule, you knew this as jack kept repeating that it was one. “thanks, jack we all know it’s a capsule now!”

you stood with jack as tommy decided to go first. you couldn’t lie you were thankful he was going first as that thing looked scary as hell, tubbo clearly agreed with you as you turned around to see him nervously laughing and walking around in circles. you turned around to jack making several comments about how scary it is, “looks like something jigsaw would put you in. it even has a control thingy.”

“i was taking you seriously till you said control thingy.”

you stood as a group watching as tommy got ready to go down the slide, you were nervous for him. you stood counting down as jack waved and tubbo stood with his hands covering his face as tommy went down the slide. jack went down next and like before you and tubbo waved him off. “hope you don’t die bossman!”

it was now time for you or tubbo to go

“are you going tubbo? you don’t have to if you don’t want to.”

you messed with his hair as he nervously laughed, questioning if he should go down. “i’ll go down first. if you don’t wanna go down, that’s completely okay, you can go down the stairs.”

you got into the capsule, tubbo watched nervously as the lifeguards began counting down. he waved as you were sent off laughing and screaming as loud as possible. once you were with the others, you stood waiting for tubbo to come downstairs.

you and tommy stood questioning a lifeguard about if he knew your friend george before you all made your way to the next slide, this time the four of you were carrying inflatable rings with you. you went first again, screaming due to the fact you started spinning. within a couple of minutes the others stood impatiently, waiting for you to pass them on your way near the end as they were told that they’d be able to see you go by. “oh look there they go!”

tommy went down next and encouraged you to go with him to the spinny thing he saw earlier rather than wait for the others. you agreed and made your way to the slide with a lifeguard asking him what he thought about the pair of you.

“he thinks we’re awesome y/n!”

“i agree tommy.”

the pair of you stood looking for tubbo and jack. tommy found them first and lightly tapped your arm pointing to the childrens pool, causing the pair of you to laugh.

tommy went first and you stood laughing as you heard him scream.

"just wanted to see if it was safe, you know?”

it was then your turn to go down the slide. you honestly loved it and it very quickly became your favourite slide there. as soon as you got out the water, tommy was waiting for you to go to the others. you both made your way to where you saw them last, the children’s pool.

“i am the leader of the children’s kingdom!”

you tilted your head to the side as tommy told him what he said was dodgy.

tubbo informed you all that the wave pool was on so the four of you ran to the wave pool. you and tubbo stayed together floating as the waves were rather light, and tommy bragged about you both going on the hard slide whilst they stayed in the children's pool. once tommy finally got his goggles off, he was met by you and tubbo floating. the water constantly splashing over your face and jack messing around under the water.

“y/n is drowning!”

“no, we're riding the waves.”

you looked up to notice tommy and jack constantly jumping up then going under the water shouting.

the four of you walked with the lifeguards to the next slide. tommy attempted to make conversation with one of them, however it didn’t go to plan, resulting in everyone else laughing. you stood with tubbo listening to jack joke about tommy having to sit on his lap, it was only till tubbo pointed out there was three slides.

“ill go down after you tubbo!”

“nonsense y/n you can go down with me, they can do that, right? they just have to sit in front of me and i keep them safe?”

the lifeguards nodded, so tubbo helped you get ready before the others were also ready to go down the slides. they counted down and the four of you raced down, you and tubbo made it down first. you cheered before pulling tubbo into a hug. jack came down next followed by tommy, claiming that he won the race. after arguing who won, the four of you went down again for a re-match. you and tubbo won yet again and tommy finally called it quits. you overheard tommy telling jack his face throbs because he’s ageing followed by jack getting his age incorrect

“jack i hate to tell you this, but you’re wrong hes 17 now.”

tubbo wanted to go down the spinny slide and dragged you with him, whilst the others went swimming in the other pools. you went first and tubbo followed shortly after, he noticed you waiting for him and reached his hand out to you so you could help him up, or so you thought. this was not the case, instead he decided to pull you back into the water whilst laughing. “TUBBO!”

after few minutes of tackling each other in the water, you decided you probably should find the others so they don’t think you both drowned.

“i’m not built for this kind of action, i’m made for much more relaxed things.”

“me either, wanna watch the office later with ranboo?”

“you read my mind!”

the pair of you went to go find the others. as the floor was now extremely slippery from all four of you walking around, you nearly fell several times. tubbo then made you hold his hand so you didn’t fall and hurt your ankle again, “i’m not 4 tubbo.”

“maybe not but you’re extremely clumsy...where the hell have they gone? WHY IS THERE A WATER JET THING?”

“i think they’re drowning tubbo!”

you were both told they turned up the intensity of the wave pool. you then ran to the wave pool whilst tubbo ran to tell the others. a few moments later they ran to the pool to see you floating with the waves, or at least you were trying to do that.

“think they're drowning again!”

jack swam over to you and dragged you over to the others. the four of you then swam joking about being pulled into the waves, and how you were drowning and needed a lifeguard. once the waves stopped, you stood with jack as tubbo and tommy prepared to race by running across the floats that lay on the water. within seconds they fell and you and jack bragged about how you could do better, so of course they made you both race against each other. somehow it was possible for the pair of you to do worse than tommy and tubbo as you both instantly fell.

you all made your way to the fast moving water. jack yelled to tubbo that it was rapid, this however did not stop him as within seconds he was dragged away by the water. tommy grabbed your arm and swam into the water taking you with him.

“hold me y/n!”

“you’re weighing me down bud go hold onto jack!”

tommy clung onto a bar, jack followed. you and tubbo however did not and would have continued to go around if jack didn’t grab tubbos hand, and you didn’t hold his. “HEY I'VE ALWAYS SEEN THIS IN FILMS!''

“NOT THE TIME Y/N!”

“we saved them we're heroes!”

the four of you went to the hot tub for a few minutes to relax, as the afternoon was pure chaos, and to ‘celebrate tommy and jack saving you and tubbo.' you sat laughing as tommy struggled to put his swim shirt back on and was asking jack to help him, despite jack repeatedly saying he wasn’t going to help him clothe.

not long before the final slide, you and tubbo ran off to get the double ring so you could go down the final slide together. jack found the pair of you spinning around whilst singing ‘you spin me right round baby right round like a record baby,’ you all then made your way to the final ride. tommy and tubbo bickered for a few minutes about who got to go down the slide with you, whilst you and jack just stood laughing. jack joined the conversation telling them to either pick or he was going down with you, tubbo wasn’t having this and pulled you into his chest “mine!”

“fine you can go down with y/n,” tommy rolled his eyes.

tommy and jack went down first, a few minutes later you and tubbo were sent down the slide. laughing the entire time as tubbo cheered about the fact he won. you were sat in the front, then tubbo announced he could reach your hair, and began playing with your hair. in other words you now had a tangle in your hair that was going to be a pain to get out. within seconds you made it to the colourful sections of the slide, “Y/N LOOK ITS ALMOST AS BRIGHT AS YOUR HAIR!”

“I'D HIT YOU, BUT I CANT REACH!”

the first half went well, but you ended up going backwards down the second drop.

“SHITTTT!”

once you got off the slide, tommy told tubbo he was going down the capsule slide since he was the only one who hadn’t gone down, and ended up going down the slide with you. you agreed to wait at the bottom of the slide so you could greet him when he came down, 5 minutes later you were met with a unhappy tubbo who instantly pulled you into a hug.

“YOU DID IT BESTIE!”

“that was awful!”

once you made it back, jack dropped you and tubbo off at yours. you thanked them for taking you both, and tommy told you to keep checking your discord as he was planning something. you agreed and said your goodbyes. you and tubbo went up to your room, you set up netflix whilst tubbo rang ranboo, nights like this were your favourite. you were huddled up under the blanket with your best friend, whilst on call with one of your other best friends, watching your favourite show. tubbo noticed the tangle he left in your hair and began untangling it, he went on to start playing with your hair whilst the office played in the background. hours later ranboo ended the call to stream, leaving you and tubbo to fall asleep in each other’s embrace.

taglist:

@l0ver0fj0y @etheriaaly @xx-smiley-xx @c1loudee

[rodneymckays]

I know someone will have asked this already by the time I send this, but John Sheppard for the character meme you just posted. XD

BAHAH nope! u were the first <3

favourite thing about them

how he cares so deeply about his friends, but is physically incapable of verbalizing it in any way 😭 his emotional repression should not be this compelling, and yet. i find myself analyzing his every microexpression in scenes because i want to see inside that crazy head of his.

least favourite thing about them

hmmmmmmm. if i have to say anything, i think it might be the way he acts offworld sometimes. we talked a bit about it on the podcast, but when he tries to act charming, it comes off very, uhh, snake oil salesmany. if i were a pegasus native, i wouldn't trust him as far as i could throw him 😂

favourite line

"I'm a worrier."

brOTP

oh, so many. but if i have to pick, i'd say john & teyla. i love that their bonding time is teyla beating him up with sticks :'))) and how, when he's having an emotion, he tries his best to talk it out with her. and even tho he fails miserably, she understands what he means anyway :') oh, and that she calls him out when he's being an ass.

OTP

john & rodney; bing and bob of the stargate universe. “I guess in my own way, I sorta love you,” is the sentiment underlying all of their interactions. also, the taking turns saving each others lives thing. and rodney bringing out the nerd in john. and the way their relationship is so subversive? u would think the nerd character would be panting over the jock, just happy to have a friend like him, but with john and rodney, i feel like rodney has a lot more power over john than even he realizes (thinking trinity and miller's crossing) and i love that.

nOTP

i can't really see john with anyone but rodney, romantically speaking. but if i had to pick one i'd say john/teyla? painting their interactions in a romantic light kinda cheapens their friendship for me.

or maybe john/wraith? i kno there are some cool parallels there and usually im pro monsterfucker, but in this case? just can't do it BAHAHA.

random headcanon

he was raised in a conservative catholic household. this may raise some eyebrows, but i see it in his GIGANTIC guilt/martyr complex. i have never seen a character more willing to die for others at the slightest provocation. also, the way all the alien's that read his subconscious say that he "tortures himself every day" over what he perceives to be personal failures screams catholic guilt to me. that, and his biggest fear is himself. not to mention, that boy does not know how to function when he's being hugged. casual intimacy does not seem to be in his lexicon, outside of actual sex.

also, he had feelings for holland, but was content to go the rest of his life never saying anything or doing anything about it. something to acknowledge about himself once, then bury and try to never think about again. but then holland died. so it didn't matter anymore, anyways. (in vegas, john had feelings for the nurse he disobeyed orders to try and save and PARALLELING THAT WITH IN CANON EVENTS RE: HOLLAND'S BOTCHED RESCUE ARE JUST TOO GOOD TO RESIST)

unpopular opinion

he's not as shallow/boring as he's perceived to be. this is definitely not an unpopular opinion on the sga side of tumblr at least, but of the stargate fandom at large, definitely.

song i associate with them

johnny cash's solitary man goes without saying. but definitely heropsychodreamer by live. oh, and stereo by the watchmen. OH, and superhero by ani difranco. if ur interested in more, u can listen to my sheppard inspired playlists here & here. with another one in the works alksjdhfasfd i know, im insane.

favorite picture of them

i know this is joe BUT. its giving sheppard vibes.

taggin' @alfredspennyworths as well, who also asked for john <3 thank u!! i love talking about him bahah

send me more characters!

[queenof-literature]

Goron

Hi all! This is the forth story in my Wild’s Story Hour series, which was originally requests that were sent in, and soon turned into its own series! I’ve been writing this on and off for a few months now, so I’m so happy to post it.

A little note: My Tumblr has been very wonky lately. I’m not sure about y’all, but every time I search for recent in the Linked Universe tag I get spammed with completely random tags not even related to the point where I can’t even see LU content. This is the only tag that’s like this for me. So please know that I’m not ignoring anyone, it’s just been quite laggy and slow for me to get notifications as well.

AO3 Link

Thank you all for your continued support, and I hope you enjoy!

"Thanks for dinner Wild!" Hyrule exclaimed before digging in. Wild heard similar sentiments as he passed out mushroom and veggie rice balls, with some fruit crepes on the side. An odd combination, but that’s apparently what happened when you traveled with a group of eight others. In Twilight’s Hyrule they had found a relatively safe and secluded place for the evening before the sun had begun to set, so Wild took the extra time to put more effort into dinner. The others used to tell him that he didn't need to put so much effort into dinner, they were fine with rations and quick meals over a fire. However after they learned that cooking was what Wild would consider a passion, they allowed themselves to be fed without complaint. If Wild enjoyed it, who were they to stop him. The delicious food was certainly a bonus.

After thanking Wild the group settled around the fire, relaxing into the evening lull Wild had begun to find comforting long ago. He was never expected to talk, he could just sit in peace and listen. And if he chose to talk, which was becoming more frequent as time went on, the others always listened. 

But after the… incident when Wild sang Kass' song, no one had asked him to tell anymore stories. After the first night of 'Wild's Story Hour' as Hyrule called it, Wind would often jump on his back and ask questions about his Hyrule. If Wind was anything, he was curious. That trait seemed to be amped up since Wild's Hyrule also had Rito and Koroks. Now though, Wind bit his tongue and kept quiet.

Wild didn't want to admit that he missed it.

He never thought he would miss talking, especially telling an entire story over a campfire. Talking used to feel like giving pieces of himself away, and if he gave too much he would be empty. Now he felt relieved every time he talked about his adventure. Wild loved seeing his brothers’ reactions to his tales, and the more he talked the more weight was lifted off him. That must have been what Warriors was talking about when he said that sometimes it helped to talk to others.

Wild missed it, but he didn't want to bring it up. It was embarrassing, and he didn't want the others to feel forced to listen to him. He was trying to get rid of that mentality but it was hard.

Wind felt guilty too, Wild could tell. Wild wasn't sure the little pirate had ever seen Wild so far gone in panic and anger. He hated that any of them saw him like that, let alone Wind. It wasn't the little pirate's fault, he didn't know that bringing it up would cause Wild's panic, not even Wild himself knew. It hadn't affected their friendship, but Wild didn't want Wind to feel uncomfortable around him at all. 

Before he could cucco out, Wild signed for Wind to sit with him when he could. Wind smiled and nodded, quickly finishing his conversation with Four before making his way over.

"Yes, Wild?" Wind asked eagerly, but Wild could still see the apprehension under the surface.

"Are you okay?" Wild asked, skipping the small talk he wasn't good at. 

"Of course! Why?" Wild resisted the urge to roll his eyes. Getting Wind, or any of the Links, to admit something was wrong was like pulling teeth. Although, Wild guessed he didn't have much room to talk…

"You've seemed upset lately. Did I do something?" Wild once again got straight to the point. If Wild did anything to upset the younger, he wanted to fix it. And he wanted to fix it now.

"What? Of course not, Wild! I'm sorry I made you think that. It's just… I feel bad I guess.” Wind sighed out, his shoulders slumping out of his fake eagerness. Wild winced slightly, knowing what Wind was talking about. Wild had one of his… attacks, in front of everyone. It started innocently enough, with Wind being curious about a song. It ended with Wild yelling and sobbing about his failures a century ago. 

“That wasn’t your fault.” Wild stated firmly. “You didn’t know what was going to happen. No one did, not even me.” Wild trailed off slightly at the last part. Wind’s face had perked up slightly, but he didn’t look completely convinced. 

“Wind.” Wild said gently, getting the younger’s attention. “I wouldn’t have sung if I didn’t want to.” Wild paused before admitting the next part, slightly embarrassed. “I like talking about my adventure. It feels nice.” Wild felt his ears turn red, but Wind didn’t seem to mind. In fact, he looked happier than he had in days.

“So… everything is okay? Do you forgive me?” Wind asked hopefully.

“There’s nothing to forgive.” Wild reassured. “Of course everything is okay.” 

“Can I…” Wind trailed off from his question, but Wild knew what was going to be asked, and he simply nodded and smirked, opening his arms slightly. Wild caught a flash of Wind’s face, a large beaming grim, before a body launched into his arms from across the log, squeezing the life out of him. Wild squeezed just as hard back, thankful that the matter was behind them. Wild could feel eyes on them, and turned to meet the mirthful gazes of his companions. Wild simply glared at them, warning them not to say anything. This was between him and Wind. But the other Links were simply thankful everything was all right. 

“Hey Wild?” Wind’s muffled voice rose from Wild’s chest.

“Hm?” Wild hummed, biting back a smile.

“Do you ever wanna tell another story for us? It’s okay if you say no.” Wind asked into Wild’s tunic. Wind used to bite back on his hugs and physical touches, afraid it would be seen as childish. But after it became more common around camp, and after the other Links understood that Wind simply came from a home where hugs were a common display of affection, Wind didn't feel the need to hide it anymore.

“Yeah, anytime.” Wild smiled.

“Now?” Wind questioned hesitantly.

“Sure.” Wild confirmed, searching through good memories of his adventure. Like an arrow, Wind launched off Wild’s chest, and Wild shoved down his disappointment at the loss of warmth.

“Guys! Shush!” Wind yelled, a hush falling over the camp besides a few grumbles about being interrupted. “Wild’s gonna tell a story!” He shouted in excitement, ignoring Wild’s shocked face. By now, Wind really meant right now.

“Did you inform Wild of this?” Legend asked, smirking at Wild’s shocked face.

“Of course! I asked him!” Wind scolded, turning back around and sitting on his and Wild’s shared log, ignoring Legend rolling his eyes. Wild saw Twilight shoot a look over the fire, silently asking if this was truly alright. Wild gave him a reassuring look and a nod. The camp was once again quiet as they all looked to Wild in interest.

“Uhh. What should I talk about?” Wild questioned awkwardly. It was always so awkward at the start.

“You always ask that, talk about whatever you want.” Legend crossed his arms, and lowered himself to the ground, back against the log.

“There’s two divine beasts left. You can talk about one of those?” Hyrule spoke up beside Legend. 

“Okay, Gorons?” Wild suggested. The Gorons were a fun people to be around, and if Wild was honest, he wasn’t ready to touch on the subject on the Zora quite yet. That was too close to Mipha. Mipha wasn’t necessarily a secret, but it was a topic he was still sore about.

“Gorons sound fun. Don’t we all have Gorons in our Hyrule?” Four questioned, receiving nods and noises of confirmation. 

“Didn’t Twilight wrestle them?” Sky questioned, receiving blank looks from the others.

“I’m sorry Twilight what?” Warriors’ shocked expression almost sent Wild into a fit of laughter. He couldn’t blame the man though, Wild was just as surprised when Twilight told him about his adventure with the Gorons. 

“And you didn’t tell me?” Wind’s cried in betrayal. 

“Uhh, I needed my iron boots to do it.” Twilight tried to soothe the outbreak of awe.

“That doesn’t matter with Gorons. Those make you heavier, even someone with above-average strength couldn’t beat a Goron with iron boots.” Four smirked from beside Sky, who was watching the chaos he caused unfold. 

“I told y’all I learned how to wrestle in my village!” Twilight shouted with no heat. 

“You didn’t tell us you wrestled a Goron!” Wind yelled back. 

“He also burned a building down.” Time spoke up, biting back a smile at Twilight’s betrayed expression.

“I told you that in confidence!” Twilight yelled. 

“Wait and you give me shit for lighting things on fire?” Wild cried out. Now this was the first he had heard of that. 

“You do it for fun!” Twilight tried to defend himself through the uproarious laughter. 

“Why did you do it then?” Wild questioned. 

“That’s not important!” Twilight huffed. 

“Maybe we should call you Wild.” Legend joked.

“Hey don’t you dare-” Twilight began before being interrupted by Four.

“As entertaining as this is, I think Wild was going to tell a story.” He reminded.

“Yeah! Wild talk about the Gorons!” Wind ceased glaring at Twilight in favor of looking at Wild. 

“Okay, okay.” Wild said after he was done laughing. “Well you guys know my Death Mountain is really hot with all the lava.”

“Understatement.” Warriors mumbled.

“So I had to pick up some elixirs from Foothill stables and drink them on the way up." Wild started, relaxing into his story as he went.

“Don’t your elixirs only last a couple of hours?” Hyrule titled his head.

“Yeah, why?” Wild questioned. 

“That looks like a long and rocky road. What, did you just run through the whole domain?” Hyrule joked, pausing when he saw Wild bite his lip. “Wild!” Hyrule yelled in realization.

"What? I didn't have any other choice! I had plenty of elixirs!" Wild defended.

“What if you ran out?” Four chided with a snort.

“Then I’d teleport away.” Wild shot back.

“Don’t extreme temperatures affect your slate sometimes?” Warriors smirked. 

“I… would deal with that when I got there.” Wild huffed at the laughter that came from the others.

“Yeah a lot of your plans involve that.” Legend mumbled.

“Anyway.” Wild interrupted before the conversation could lead to discussing his battle tactics. “I kept running up the path and there were a lot of fire monsters like moblins, and keese and chuchus-” Wild continued.

“Don’t the chuchus in your Hyrule explode?” Hyrule asked once again, eyes shining in excitement. 

“Yeah! If I throw bombs at them then I can make a huge explosion! Especially the big ones.” Wild confirmed with a grin.

“No, you two are not having a competition of who can make a bigger explosion when we get to Wild’s Hyrule again.” Time already knew where this would lead. It was best to nip it in the bud now.

“Awe.” Wild and Hyrule groaned. 

“We never get to do anything.” Wild mumbled with a pout.

“You were saying?” Time lifted an eyebrow. Wild huffed once more before continuing his story. 

“Right. It was a long walk and of course I wasn’t going to risk taking a horse. There were a lot of cliffs along the path and since I didn’t have much time I took the straight path. Then I accidently ran into a Talus!” Wild grinned at the rest of the group’s groans. They had some run-ins with the larger monsters in Wild’s Hyrule, and while they all had tough enemies, Wild’s had some of the largest monsters that were considered relatively common.

“Volcanos have molten rock, how did you miss it?” Warriors joked.

“It was molten rock!” Wild defended. “It blended in perfectly.”

“Wait wait wait.” Four waved his hands. “Your Taluses are also made of magma and volcanic rock?”

“Yep.” Wild confirmed, laughing slightly at the various looks of surprise the Links always held when they learned of new monsters their own Hyrules didn’t have. The other heroes had been near Eldin, but not quite near Goron City enough to see an Igneo Talus. Hopefully they were never dropped off near Death Mountain. Wild didn’t really want to wake up on fire.

“Are there ice and electric ones too.” Legend groaned.

“Ice ones.” Wild answered. “Those ones are really hard to see.”

“Ugh, remind me to watch my step.” Legend rolled his eyes.

“Will do.” Wild deadpanned. “Luckily I had some ice arrows so it was okay. Eventually I made it to the Southern Mine. That’s where the Goron mine for ore!" Wild explained. "I even met another Hylian there! He had some of the Flamebreaker Armor that you get in Goron City.” Wild had shown the group his Flamebreaker Armor before, and some had even tried it on, including Four.

“Oh? Did you seduce this Hylian for clothes as well?” Warriors raised an eyebrow.

“No I did not!” Wild crossed his arms, glaring at the rest of the now laughing heroes. “I’ll never live that down will I?”

“Nope.” Warriors and Legend smirked at Wild’s glare. 

“I asked if I could buy it, since he was heading down anyway.” Wild spoke over the chuckling Links. “He said he would give it to me if I caught him 10 fireproof lizards so he could make elixirs. I saw a bunch of lizards while running up so I caught enough.” The rest of the group nodded, they too had to do some… irregular things for important items.

“How do you catch that many lizards that fast?” Wind tilted his head. “Aren’t they quick?”

“Oh yeah. If you’re not careful they’ll scurry away and bury themselves in the mountain side or under rock. I had to crouch and hop around.” Wind laughed at the image of Wild moving around like that. 

This was nice.

“Is Goron City far away from the Southern Mine?” Sky asked.

“It’s not too far, but after I got a part of the armor and started approaching the city, Vah Rudania, Daruk’s divine beast, was circling Death Mountain and started launching giant fireballs so I had to dodge them and sprint up to the city.”

“Giant fireballs? Why would the beast attack you?” Hyrule asked. 

“Well I’m not sure if Rudania meant to do it since it was circling the volcano, but Rudania was terrorizing Goron City like Medoh was terrorizing the Rito, so I think it was because of the Calamity.” Wild hummed in thought.

“They were infected with… malice, right?” Four questioned, remembering Wild’s pictures of the large pool of intimidating… something. It was apparently a manifestation of the Calamity, and Wild had said it burned whenever he touched it, especially with the Master Sword in hand. Four remembered even the pool looked evil. Pure black roots took hold of whatever was around it, mixed in with deep shades of reds and purples. Wild also told him there was an odd sound it made that set him on edge.

“As far as I know.” Wild nodded, thinking back to the pools of malice in all the Divine Beasts. “Back 100 years ago,” The group perked up in both excitement and worry. It was rare Wild talked about 100 years ago. Both because he couldn’t remember it, and because it had pained him for so long. “The other champions rushed to their Divine Beasts. The plan was I would protect Zelda, and return to defeat Ganon after the Divine Beasts weakened them. Zelda wanted to come with me, since she still believed there was a chance to awaken her power. She always pushed herself so hard…” Wild trailed off for a moment, staring into the fire. Twilight almost began to rise, believing Wild to have slipped into another memory, but Wild shook himself out of it quickly. “Help never came. The Divine Beasts were taken over by malice, and while they piloted themselves the champions were killed by Blights that Ganon had created to directly match their strength and exploit it. And well… you all know how the story ends.” There was a heavy silence, no one knowing what to say, including Wild. Wind scooted over on the log and leaned against Wild gently, showing his silent support. Wild smiled down at him, then at the others around the fire.

“It’s okay.” Wild told them. “Let’s just keep talking about the Gorons?” He proposed.

“Cub…” Time started, not quite knowing how to get his message across. “Talk about whatever you want to. Anytime.” Time finished, hoping Wild knew what he meant, and judging by the smile he did. 

“Thanks, Old Man.” Wild said earnestly, thankful for the comfortable warmth at his side.

“Well um…” Wild began, thinking about where he left off. He appreciated that everyone waited to let him think, and didn’t interrupt him. “I finally made it to the city. Since it’s made from the materials they have up there it’s made up of a lot of rock and metals, but it’s still great to look at! They work hard on their signs outside their shops and the children always roll across the bridges over lava. There’s also a whole bunch of statues carved into the mountains.” Wild made large gestures solely with his left arm, since his right was still held captive by Wind. 

Time leaned his chin into his hand. It was always interesting to hear about the boys’ Hyrules from their perspectives. Some Hyrules like Wild’s had very little to no government, and Time enjoyed hearing how different civilizations had gotten by. 

“I got to meet with their leader, um, the ‘Boss’ of the Gorons. His name is Bludo. He’s really grumpy, and he has a bad back. He told me that him and someone named Yunobo would use cannons to scare off Rudania-”

“You have cannons too?” Wind looked up, always excited to hear how similar his and Wild’s Hyrules could be.

“Mhm!” Wild nodded. “Do you all not?”

“I had air cannons mostly.” Four spoke up, among some murmurs of confirmation among half the Links. It seems Time, Warriors, and Hyrule didn’t have cannons in their Hyrules.

“Since his back was bad I had to go find Yunobo, who disappeared after running an errand for Bludo to get medicine for his back.” Wild continued after briefly explaining how cannons work. “I just had to follow the path up to the Abandoned North Mine. Since Rudania started terrorizing them and monsters infested they stopped using that one as much. There was a Goron watching the area and he told me to not touch the Boss’ cannons.”

“And let me guess you touched the cannons right away didn’t you?” Sky asked, clearly amused.

“Yes I did. There was one right behind him.” Twilight let out a snort, quickly trying to muffle his laughter at Wild’s playful glare. Time too, was greatly amused by Wild’s antics, although his mind wandered a bit. All of these names for the Divine Beast’s names always sounded so familiar. Was it possible Wild too was a part of Time’s hero line? His Hyrule was far larger than the others, though. He wouldn’t be surprised if Wild was in a timeline of his own. Or perhaps somehow the land had changed and Wild was just far, far into the future. Time shook his head slightly and tried to tune back in. He really needed to stop trying to understand how complex time and time travel was.

“The cannons are so fun up there! I could roll my round bombs into them, and they had enough power to blow up a whole monster camp.” As Wild rambled on about all the ways he could use his bombs around Death Mountain, including cannons and carts, his eyes practically sparkled.

“I finally found Yunobo.” Wild got back on track with his story. “He was trapped in a cave-in and I got to use the cannons to get him out. When I went to check on him, he had some sort of orange shield surrounding him, and he was really timid.” Twilight mused on that for a moment. That sounded like how Wild described one of his champion powers.

“I had to run back to Bludo after that, and he told me about Daruk. I looked up at the stature of him and I finally remembered him, at least a little bit.” Wild had a small smile on his face.

“What was he like?” Hyrule questioned. 

“He was really kind, as far as I could tell. He joked around with me a lot and he didn’t even care that I never answered. He said he would protect Hyrule to his death.” Wild’s smile turned bittersweet. “I think he always forgot I wasn’t a Goron, or he didn’t care, he would smack my back hard enough to send me flying.” Wild chuckled lightly. 

He seemed to be fond of Daruk 100 years ago. Daruk appeared to understand how much pressure was crushing down on Wild, yet he never showed pity or disdain. He even teased him about it. Wild could remember a faint feeling of excitement when being told he would be seeing Daruk’s progress, so he assumed the Link of 100 years ago enjoyed his time among the Gorons, no matter how short it was. 

“Awe yes I remember that well. I distinctly remember running away screaming when the Gorons wanted to thank me for helping them.” The camp cackled at the image of a younger Time running away and screaming.

“Bludo asked me to find Yunobo again, since his back was still hurting him.”

“Good to know everyone in every Hyrule is so needy.” The veteren scoffed.

“Turns out that Yunobo works with Bludo because of his powers he got from Daruk, the forcefield I was talking about. Yunobo hops in a giant cannon along Death Mountain, and Bludo launches him at Rudania.” Wild explained.

“That… sounds dangerous.” Sky laughed a little.

“Yeah… but Daruk’s shield is indestructible! Only problem was the guardian sentries surrounding the mountain.” 

“The what?” Wind raised his head from Wild’s shoulder to look at the older boy.

“Rudania sent them to guard the area once we finally arrived at the base of Death Mountain.” Wind nodded and plopped his head back onto Wild’s shoulder, no one daring to tease either of them, even in good fun. “If they caught me with their lights, they would send magma bombs right onto the path!”

“And how do you know that? Did you get caught?” Warriors asked, slightly surprised Wild would get caught. He could be quite sneaky when he wanted to be.

“Well I was curious…”

“Wild!” Warriors pinched the bridge of his nose.

“I ran back to the base after I tested it and Yunobo had his shield!” Wild defended against the groans and muffled laughs. “Besides I was about to launch someone out of a cannon I wanted to know what we were up against. I avoided the sentries the rest of the time, and I had to whistle for Yunobo to stop and go, and there were some Moblins on the way up.” The rest of the group could imagine that climbing Death Mountain, especially one as large as Wild, while avoiding sentries, fighting monsters, and whistling for someone to stop and go would be tedious. 

“Everytime I fired Yunobo from the cannon Rudania fled further around the volcano, and we made it all the way to the top!”

“Did you set off anymore sentries?” Twilight questioned.

“No!” Wild frowned. “I’m not completely reckless you know!” Wild stated, not appreciating the silence that followed his statement. “I’ll have you know I made it all the way to the top!”

“And how did you get into Vah Rudania?” Time raised an eyebrow.

“I…” Wild started boldly, before realizing exactly how he got into the Divine Beast.

“You what.” Twilight narrowed his eyes.

“I… jumped.” Wild shrugged the shoulder Wind wasn’t resting his head on. “Once I got into-”

“You jumped where.” Time smirked. That bastard, he knew something was up and he was gonna sic Twilight on him! Wild would find a way to  get revenge later.

“Vah Rudania was in the middle of Death Mountain so I used my paraglider-” Wild once again tried to brush this portion of the story off.

“You jumped into the middle of an active volcano?” Four cackled, the first one to understand what Wild was saying and showing an odd lack of restraint.

“Wild.” Twilight chided in ‘that voice’.

“Don’t ‘Wild’ me you lit a building on fire!” Wild defended.

“See Time! This is why I didn’t want you to tell them!”

“How did you know your paraglider wouldn’t burn up?” Warriors lips quivered under the strain of covering a grin.

“I would deal with that when I got there!” Wild claimed once again, trying not to focus on the slight flaws in his argument.

“How? How would you deal with that?” Legend threw his hands up at his friend’s stupidity.

“I don't know Legend. I never got there so I never had to deal with it, since it turned out fine.”

“What happened next?” Hyrule asked, covering for Wild and moving the conversation forward. Wild held back a fond smirk, he’d have to thank Hyrule later.

“Glad you asked, Hyrule!” Wild ignored any other questions. “I heard Daruk’s voice telling me I had to go find the terminal as usual, but this time inside the Divine Beast was pitch black.” The group had finally stopped asking questions and started listening to the story with interest.

“I had to get rid of pools of malice by shooting the eyes, and I had to light some areas up. Once I reached the terminal there were some places that opened up so it was lit up again.”

“Did this one rotate like the other Divine Beasts?” Legend asked from his place against his log. 

“Yeah I could control it with my slate like the other ones. There were all kinds of puzzles like the last beast, like this one where I had to light my arrow with blue flame and shoot it through a hole in the door, then-”

The rest of the Links listened intently  as Wild went into the intricate details of the different puzzles within the beast. They were always interested to hear both about the Sheikah technology of Wild’s world, and how he had to use what was available to him to solve them. As much as they teased Wild for being stupid and reckless, he really was intelligent, espeically when it came to logic and puzzles. Twilight remembered how some markets in his Hyrule had little puzzles made of wood,each one requiring moving certain pieces to unlock different parts. Twilight had never been particularly interested in them, but he wondered if Wild would be, if Twilight found one complicated enough. He’d have to get away from the group and find one whenever they ended up near one of his markets. Perhaps even Four and Sky would be interested in getting their hands on them and taking them apart.

“-and I finally got to the last terminal and unlocked it.” Wild continued, barely pausing to breathe. The group wasn’t sure if he was aware of how much he was talking, or how rapidly, but they didn’t dare interrupt. “Fireblight Ganon manifested, and had the power to throw huge fireballs. But he had to suck in everything around to create them. So I threw my bombs into his mouth and blew them up. Other than that, I just had to get up close.” Wild described the fight in an almost casual sense, even though it seemed these blights were pieces of Ganon himself. It seemed some blights were far easier than others. 

“When Daruk appeared, I still only had one memory of him, but he seemed as kind as he had been in my memory.” Wild had a small smile. “After freeing the beast I got teleported back to Goron City, and Vah Rudania took its position against the Calamity alongside, at the time, the Zora domain’s beast.” Wild explained. “Bludo thanked me, even though he hadn’t really understood what I did. I said goodbye to Yunobo, and, uh, that was that.” Wild ended his story as awkward as always, wincing at his own words. His throat, still unused to talking so much for such a long amount of time, felt as though he had swallowed sand.

“Thanks for the story, Wild!” Wild looked down at the sailor, something shining in the younger’s eyes he couldn’t quite place. 

“Yeah! I always like hearing about how your guys’ kingdoms compare to mine.” Sky smiled, kindly shuffling and reaching over, handing Wild his water pouch. How he knew Wild needed it, or when he even got a hold of it, Wild would never know. Wild nodded in thanks and began sipping at the water, resisting the urge to chug it all in one gulp, as everyone’s voices blended slightly, creating a warm atmosphere.

The group continued to discuss different topics, going off on different tangents relating to Gorons and their Hyrules, all of which Wild was perfectly content to just listen, occasionally answering questions directed at him.

With the warm weight against his shoulder, and the comfortable but lively chatter surrounding him, Wild allowed himself to just exist within the moment, feeling himself relax further.

“Hey Wild?” Wild felt the head against his shoulder stir, and Wild looked down to meet a fellow set of blue eyes.

“Yeah?”

“Thanks for the story.” A relaxed but genuine smile reached Wind’s expressive face.

“No, Wind. Thank you.”

~~~ 

Very minor spoiler for Age of Calamity: The fact that BOTW/AOC Link canonically eats rocks is beautiful to me.

Wild loves puzzles, change my mind.

I like to write Wild how I play video games in general, which is just screwing around and seeing what happens.

I’m sorry if I get anything wrong about other Hyrules. I’ve played a good amount of the Zelda games but it’s been a long time since not a lot of them are on consoles I have :(

[ravenbrenna09]

This year has brought about so much change in all of us and, mostly, to us—some of it is good and some of it is bad. But, I’ve gained so much in the past year and a vast majority of it is because of some Belgium television show that dragged me into a multiverse of love and adoration and acceptance. So I wanted to thank you all, truly, for all the love and help that you’ve given me over the past twelve months because fuck this world—and this year and fandom—would not be the same to all of you. 

also: i love all of you.

@peaceoutofthepieces: nat, you’ve been one of my greatest friends. our conversations about our fics is something that i’ve cherished. watching you write Sink or Swim—then turn around and write all your Christmas fics—has been absolutely amazing and I’m so proud of all that you’ve accomplished. thank you so much for being my friend. 

@everyone-has-their-story: thank you so much for being my friend. our friendship started over some obscure question i had for how i wanted to end Jij Verliest and it morphed into some so near and dear to me. i love our conversations about what’s going on in our lives and i hope it never stops. 

@tsjernobyl: thank you for listening to me in my random spurts of drabble and one-shot ideas that i might not ever write that i spontaneously ask you about late at night to get your opinion and listening to me talk about harry potter aus (though, i still think you should write all shackles and bows). you are such an amazing and wonderful friend and i hope you know that i’m sending you lots of virtual hugs. 

@sonderthroughthestreets: thank you so much for all of your love and support on everything. our conversations of robbe in skinny jeans and our own writing slumps at 3am are near and dear to my heart. i love our “my place or yours/please say yours” rights. 

@cindylouwhos: you’ve helped me so much and there’s no way i will ever be able to repay you. you helped me get into giffing, listening to all my dumb questions about it, and helped me so much when i was writing jij verliest. thank you so much for all your help and thank you so much for bringing me into the alt er love server.

@womenstan: thank you so much for all of the support you’ve given me in the server—both in study-group and overall. you’re such an amazing and beautiful person who is so unapologetically yourself that it’s inspiring. you’re an amazing friend and i love all of our conversations. 

@norangensft: jenna, thank you so much for all of our talks about wtfock and robbe! your paint me in trust story gave me the distraction i needed during a tough time and i will be forever grateful to you. we might not talk as much anymore but i hope that you are doing well. 

to the alt er love server: i’m sorry i can’t tag everyone. i don’t have everyone on tumblr and i don’t remember all of your urls—i’m looking at you maxences—but thank you so much for all of you. you guys are so welcoming and supportive of anyone and everyone who walks in. i love you all and love seeing all your weird and crazy chats that you talk about. i missed emo hours earlier but please know that i will love and cherish all of you for the rest of my life. like jess said, it’s like walking into a living room with all of your friends. this crackpot of a year would be NOTHING without this server. 

@robbesdriesen: bianca, thank you so much for all of your support. being able to talk with you about a sobbe enemies-to-lovers has been so enlightening as we both struggle to figure out a possibility that makes sense for them. all of our random talks are so fun and i can’t wait to see what we both come with next.  

@luludemauryyy: thank you so much for all of our conversations that we’ve had over the past year. all of our chats mean the world to me from our talks about our stories to those about wtfock and skams to those that are more personal. being able to talk with you about it is so amazing and i love being able to talk with you. 

@driesenrobbe: becca, I know you’re not on tumblr right now (and that’s perfectly okay), but I couldn’t make this list without talking about you. thank you so much for all of our long conversations about random things. they mean so much to me, being able to just sit down and type responses out to all of your messages. i love looking on my phone and seeing a notification from you makes my day. 

@sander-klaas: fahmeen, i love you so much. you’ve supported me so much over the past year through my stories that i don’t think i will ever be able to repay you. i hope you’re being given as much love as you give because you absolutely deserve all the love in the entire world. i can’t wait to see what you create. 

@birthdaysentiment: cille, i love seeing all your tags on things. seriously. as soon as you like something, i can’t wait to see what you’ve written. all of your support and love means so much to me and i’m forever grateful for it. 

even more amazing people who deserve ALL the love and i’m eternally grateful for:

@to-enter-polaris, @luxandobscurus, @mijnlief, @driesendotkom, @carolineskam, @pduwd, @fatoudixon, @earthling-isa, @theflowerisblue, @itubainaretro, @dagcutie, @sunflowerlallemant, @welcometo-saturn, @kieutu, @hopetofantasy, @fatouuuu, @joanabianchi, @mailinrichter, @sanabakkoushd, @isakyaqi, @alcxmcrcer, @kritiquer, @noramachwtz, @mirroroferisedx, @alinok,  @zoesrobbe, @thebestoftimes, @pepethehobbit, @dreamy-slytherin, @lolasluquette, @gele-gordijnen, and @fangfaceandrea. 

if i forgot a name or didn’t tag you, you deserve all of the love in this world and i hope your day (or evening) is beautiful and amazing and bright. i love you all so much. thank you for making this year so so special to me. 

[ao3-sucks]

An Archive of Someone’s Own: my experiences being groomed in fandom circles on AO3

TW: Childhood sexual abuse, grooming, mentions of incest and rape.

I used to be a big writer of fanfiction. It was the logical choice for me. I loved to write and create bold and immersive worlds, and I craved an audience who would enjoy my work as much as I did. Since my writing wasn’t actually good, I needed a community of other amateurs who wouldn’t mind that, and by tweaking my characters and settings into ones from canonical media, I got the audience I so craved.

I started writing fanfiction online when I was 14, posting initially on FanFiction.net and then moving to AO3 a few months later. As I got back into writing original fiction towards the end of high school, I lost interest in this community, and it’s been a long time since I posted anything much on AO3.

I’ve always struggled with the fact I display a lot of symptoms of CSA, and for the longest time, I couldn’t figure out why. Throughout my teen years, I refused to get changed or bathe when anyone was even vaguely nearby, constantly paranoid about being spied on; I developed a severe touch phobia, and would have frequent panic attacks from something as small as brushing arms with a passerby; I resolutely identified as asexual and refused to get into anything resembling a relationship with others because the very concept disgusted and repulsed me.

Weird, considering I had grown up pretty normal and all of these symptoms had started around my early teens. It was only when I told my friends about my friendship with a 30 year old I had met online that the pieces started falling into place for me.

Child grooming is usually discussed in the context of one adult going out of their way to befriend a child with the goal of lowering their resistance to sexual abuse, through normalisation and friendliness. I’d like to talk about how that worked on the fanfiction website AO3. Since it’s an open website and most communication takes place between anonymous users or accounts in the comments section of a work, there is very little delineation between spaces for adults to discuss whatever dark topics they like and spaces for kids to do the same.

This frequently leads to pretty inappropriate conversations between people of widely varying ages and life experiences, which is how I ended up talking sex as a fourteen year old with people ranging from a couple of years older than me, who were generally okay, to more than twice my age. The 30 year old in question listed on her profile how many pedophilic ships she loved, and she knew my age but pushed me to keep discussing sexual topics with her. Sounds like a red flag, yeah? Well. I was 14, and very stupid.

This 30 year old woman, who I will call Aku (because it’s similar to her screen name and because it’s funny to name her after the bad guy from Samurai Jack) would start conversations with me whenever I posted anything to AO3 and would refuse to take no for an answer when I tried to back out of conversations with her, and since these conversations were public and occurring within comments, I didn’t want to be rude to her since this was taking place on content I was trying to promote.

I told her my age multiple times and she would either pretend she forgot from last time (saying her memory is super bad) or continue as though it was just trivia about me and not a sign she shouldn’t have been pushing me. My primary objection to what she would say to me (since most of it was just her being annoying) was her insistence on sexualising everything I wrote, and her determination to push me into writing pornographic content, which I eventually gave in to.

Yes, she was a terrible person. She emailed me using her personal email address, so I know her full name and place of residence, because she’s an idiot. These emails also contain sexually explicit materials. Nothing much ever happened between us except for these very creepy interactions and the fact we remained online friends for a few years. But here’s the thing: she wasn’t the only person pushing me into creating sexual content. Lots of people would comment on my writing demanding that I show explicit sexual content when I really didn’t want to.

After a while it felt like I couldn’t write a longer, romantic fanfiction without including explicit sexual content. Like my work wasn’t valid without it. Other, more popular writers were usually sexual in their content, and I wanted to be like them and bring in the views, right? So, when I look at my back catalog of works, I can see how my content moved from completely non-sexual to featuring sexual content over time, and the views usually came with. In this way, I was in an environment that was encouraging me on many levels to sexualise my own work, which impacted the way I thought about my creative process.

Here’s another example I remember. When I was a young sprout, I remember reading down someone’s list of fanfiction recommendations and seeing a work called Hug Therapy, which I promptly read. While the work is marked as explicit and containing the Loki/Thor pairing, the use of relationship and rating tags on AO3 is so poorly regulated that it didn’t really mean anything to me to see either of those. People tag hardcore material as non-explicit and tag friendships as relationships, because there’s no motivation to tag properly. Plus, someone I followed here on Tumblr had recommended it to me.

Now, you wouldn’t know from the listing, but while this piece starts out as comedy, it turns out in the end to include rape, incest, and BDSM in very explicit terms. The fact it was tagged as being explicit didn’t slow me down, because the liberal use of these tags could mean that an explicit tag was just there because sexual content was implied or mentioned, which I thought would be the case based on the rest of the listing. Out of curiosity, I recently tried to report this work to the moderators for containing no warnings about incest or rape, and I got this in response:

“Selecting “Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings” satisfies a creator’s obligation under the warnings policy. Users who wish to avoid specific elements entirely should not access fanworks marked with “Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings”. Our Terms of Service note: “You understand that using the Archive may expose you to material that is offensive, triggering, erroneous, sexually explicit, indecent, blasphemous, objectionable, grammatically incorrect, or badly spelled. ….. This decision is in accordance with our policy of maximum inclusiveness; we have therefore closed this case and will not be investigating further.”

Which, yeah, I guess. The frustration comes from how ‘Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings’ is an extremely commonly used tag, and most things that it’s used on are totally harmless.

This fanfiction, which I was recommended by a friend, is hugely popular, in the top 60 most read fanfictions in the entire fandom. You wanna hear the kicker? The author, Astolat, is one of the founders of AO3. They’re not just some random author who isn’t following the rules. They’re a creator of the whole website, and they made the rules. This is pretty telling about how seriously the website actually takes protecting their users.

My final example I want to give is one of fetish content. People in fetish communities generally (not always) say that fetishes are probably something one should work up to after the onset of sexual activity, especially potentially harmful stuff like BDSM. In the circles I was running in, if you weren’t sporting a fetish or two (no matter your age) you were a boring bitch.

Maybe this isn’t true of everywhere in the fanfiction community, but I used to feel that bizarre pressure until I got out. Bear in mind that my main time in this community was from ages 14 to 17. I never made my age a secret, either. I told people outright I was that age, I was in high school, I was playing hockey and studying The Great Gatsby when I wasn’t online.

Since I was in the Avengers fandom and I liked Loki and the Asgardians, I was frequently exposed to incestuous content between Loki and Thor, and a lot of it came out of nowhere or was poorly tagged. This was considered the norm, and while I at first felt completely horrified and repulsed, within a year or two I no longer gave a shit. It’s only in the last few years as I’ve begun to unpack everything that I’ve started to get that strong revulsion reaction to incestuous content.

In the circles I was in, it was relentlessly normal. Normal to the point that people who disliked it were usually shouted down. Even to this day, debate rages on in fandom spaces about whether or not content like this normalises this kind of abuse. In my own personal experience, which I don’t usually like to talk about, it absolutely does.

In real life, this normalisation started to have serious consequences for my mental health and interpersonal relationships. In fanfiction, any occasion when you are alone with someone could become sexual, any familial relationship is possibly sexual, and it doesn’t matter if you like it or not. I became incredibly anxious around male family members for fear of being sexually assaulted, and my OCD, which I had been developing since I was a child, turned from thoughts of physical violence to thoughts of graphically sexually assaulted by anyone and everyone around me.

My fear of being touched got to the point where I would have panic attacks if anyone came anywhere close to touching me. I quit sports, fucked up my romantic relationships, and didn’t hug anyone, not even members of my family, for years. All the while, I had bought my first laptop and was consuming more fanfiction than ever before. I struggled with my sexuality growing up, as I am bisexual, and while fanfiction provided LGBT content to help me, the content was frequently so disturbing that I viewed any expression of sexuality as something evil and predatory.

The community on AO3, whether you like it or not, is often sexual, and provides no barriers between the casual user looking for content and extremely intense fetish material. It’s sometimes called the Pornhub of fanfiction, but considering the wide range of people who use it, it’s more like if you opened Youtube and saw niche hardcore fetish videos just on the front page, recommended and trending.

Sure, you have to click a little button to confirm you’re 18 before you can actually read a story, but the tags and descriptions of readily available works can be extremely explicit. Fanfiction also brings you into close contact with fellow readers and the author, and encourages you to become a content creator, which in some ways makes it more dangerous.

I was affected much more strongly by what I saw than most people would be, because I was already treading shaky ground. But I’m also not the only person out there who has been hurt in this way. Most of my friends who grew up in fandom can report the impact that fanfiction culture had on them. One of my friends from high school knew a panoply of porn terms at age 14 or so due to reading fanfiction, and another of my other friends at high school almost exclusively read rape porn because it was her favourite. I didn’t have friends who watched porn; I had friends who read fanfiction. These are just as troubling to me as any other accounts of young people consuming visual porn from a very early age.

It’s frequently cited that fanfiction gives minority groups the opportunity for creative outlet. It was a great place for me to cut my teeth as a content creator, and a source of acceptance and kindness when times were tough. Fanfiction communities have historically been the domain of women and minorities, and create a space for these people to tell their own stories.

It’s largely because of this that fanfiction communities fear censorship and strict moderation, as they have been attacked in the past on homophobic or misogynistic grounds, resulting in mass deletions of works or the shutdown of websites. But there must be some middle ground between total censorship and the kind of free rein that puts vulnerable people in danger, and I strongly encourage the board of AO3 to seek this middle ground out.

But it’s the community itself that needs to shape up; AO3 is, after all, a community-led website built by fans for fans, so the fact that this website has such issues is a reflection of the issues that run deeply within the people who created it. Aku didn’t talk to me with the intention of doing me harm, or so I believe at this time, and she didn’t pursue me as a lone wolf or in isolation.

She was simply a particularly brazen member of a community that was used to having inappropriate conversations with young people and sexualising everything they did. Even people my own age were jokingly pushing me into discussing and consuming extremely sexual content. It was just normal. That’s what I want to say here. Inside the world of fandom on AO3, the grooming of children with sexual content is normal. And that’s scary.

- Mod Daft

[zhowongli]

hello! i started a new thread because the other one (+ this one) got really long, so sorry! but i guess this is my love letters to you guys because you’ve made my tumblr experience so, so much better && i’m grateful for all of you guys + all of my mutuals and followers!!

first of all, @himawari-senpaii thank you so so much for your kind words! meggi, i love your sunflower motif because it suits you so well! sunflowers make me smile whenever i see them, and it really brings me so much joy to see you on my dash/notifs. your tags are always so fun and sweet. thank you for tagging me in this 🥺 

@animoozies connie, where do i even start? you were my very, very first tumblr mutual on this account! i’m so thankful you reached out to me before, and you’re still checking up on me even now. words can’t describe how much i adore you + how appreciative of you! when i see you on my dash with your stories, i always end up cackling because you’re so fun. idk how you do it working all those hours + going to nursing school, but you is a mf boss ass queen!!

@hoekaashi ash, my queen!! my tag for you is my day is blessed because ash ✨exists✨ because that’s honestly how i feel about you. i am truly blessed with your kindness, your humor, your friendship, you. thank you for always keeping me company through our struggles in pharmacy school! you are one of the realest people i know, and i feel so honored that you always send me random kenma pics & fics you think i’d like 🥺

@kanao annette, the other half of my soul, my whole heart, my literal soul sister. you are one of the biggest blessings i’ve received this year, and i honestly don’t know where i would be without you listening to my dumb shit and supporting me through all my mess LOL. thank you for validating me all the time, even if it’s just stupid stuff like enabling me to buy all the random stuff that i’ve been thinking about LMAO. i love how we are always ✨speaking✨ and  ✨manifesting✨ good things in our futures together. i literally feel like i can talk about any and everything with you, and i love that about us 🥺 i am manifesting that beach vacation 2021 for us, okay!!! 💖

@sapphitedreams leo, my cutest menace in the kitchen 💖 thank you for reaching out to me when i was too shy to reach out to you uuuu. you’re such a chaotic calm in my life, and i love your energy. i am constantly in awe with how adorable, supportive, and creative you are! even though you bully me sometimes and only make things for characters’ birthdays, you are so so talented and it floors me every time i see your creations because they are so amazing idk how they’re real. i hope you are able to get some rest even if you have to work during your break (& i hope you don’t accidentally fall during work anymore smh HAHAH)!

@onefortyninecm danielle!! my love!! i know i mention this before, but i am always so so inspired by you. you’re so tiny, but you have such a big heart and soul. you’re so beautiful inside and out + your humor is god tier. i’m so glad you were the very first person i’ve ever commissioned from (& spiraled me into comissioning indulgent kenma art HAHAHA), and i’m still amazed by your talent and kindness every time you post something new omg. i still can’t believe you DREW ON YOUR PHONE what the heck!! you’re so talented it’s crazy HAHA. i’m always thinking fondly of you + dandy wedding in a pumpkin patch 2021, okay thanks. 

@p-irozhki rissa!! i am so blessed with all the gifs you create and all your content on my dash! whenever i think of you, i think about all the smol icons you use because to me, you = cuteness = i wanna hug you so much!!! i think i already said it, but i’m always so thankful when you read all my self-indulgent fanfics and leave kind comments on them 😭 thank you for culturing me about mangoes HAHAHA. there’s never a bad time with you, and i’m thankful we got to meet this year!

@hoshino-a lena lena! you actually have so much bde that i am in constant awe by you. you are such a baddie & i have this like clear imagine in my head of you with crisp and clean vibes + the skies from your pfp on discord, hehe. i love you and all your brain rots about your exes. at this point, every time i see semi, my first thought is “ah it’s lena’s ex” and whenever i hear some sad song, i would be like “omg it’s lena ab her ex semi eita” LMFAOIOAGJDLA. i love talking to you because your energy is just immaculate + i just love your presence 💖 also please get some sleep because do you even sleep 😭 

@myelocin nic!! you’ve painted my world in so many iridescent shade so life, i can’t even begin to describe how much you mean to me. you works are just so beautiful so imagine how much i shrieked when i saw you followed me LMFAOOADIGDALJ i love that your blog is your safe space because it has become a place of comfort for me as well (and i’m going to miss you so much when you leave 😭😭). your makki brain rot is so strong, and sometimes i think about makki and you making dinner and teasing each other and throwing flour at each other or something idk. this is nic’s world now and we are all living in it tbh. 

@tsu-kiss nina!! you are someone i find such comfort in. i’m not really sure if that even makes sense LOL. but your blog and you are a source of comfort for me. in my head, you have such an older sister vibe even though i’m older than you LMAOOADGHDAKJ. i hope life is treating you well because you deserve all the best!! seeing you thrive makes my heart so full 🥺 i love you so much!!

@souheii lisa!! i kid you not, the first time you dropped an ask in my ask box, my heart skipped a beat because you told me you love me and i love you and you are so cute and i cri!!!! i know we don’t talk often, but every time i see you on my dash or in my notifs or when we do talk, it’s like a little shot of serotonin every time :”) thank you for being such a lovely human being mrs. iwaizumi hajime, 27, althetic trainer😭

@ultkags​ cas!! my first child 💖 i know you’re on a hiatus right now because school really, really sucks BUT you are seriously one of my biggest blessings. you are literally my ray of sunshine because every time i talk to you, i gain so much warmth and energy from you. every time i see your edits, it absolutely AMAZES me because i literally don’t know how i am able to see all your edits FOR FREE?? all your thoughts behind the composition and symbolism for each piece is CRAZY. please remember that i’m always your biggest fan + i love you so so much. please take care and remember to drink water and get some rest!! your grandma is always here to send you love + forehead kisses because this grandma can’t bake :(

@u-make-my-heart-tsumtsum​ ree!! hi, i know we’ve only started talking recently but i love how open and warm you are. our love was so strong that even tumblr tried to stop us 😭 conversations with you are always so easy and lovely, and you are just such a cool person!? i love reading all your thoughts (& i can’t wait to dive into your masterlist after school ends because we live for fluffy tsumu content 😭). i’m not sure why you even follow me, but i adore you so much!!

@neonghxst​ el, where do i even begin!! you are such a lovely person, and i literally have no other words to say because you always leave me speechless. your writing is so so gorgeous, and you are so so beautiful. i love reading all your stories because they truly leave an everlasting impact on me, and i love reading your interactions + just seeing you on my dash. you are so thoughtful, and you take care of everyone around you so well. i hope that you are also giving yourself the same treatment because you deserve all the best as well! remember to drink water in between your coffees and get some rest as you go into your final 2 weeks of the semester!! 

@und3lla​ maliha! hi love! i know we haven’t spoken much or in a while, but i really do always think of you randomly. you were one of the first mutuals i made && you are such a sweet soul. i love how every time we talk, it really fills me up with happiness. thank you for just being such a lovely person && you truly are one of the softest people i’ve met. thank you <3

@deadontheinsidebut angel, my dumb ham, my queen, my hoe (heaven on earth), my everything. i know you are also on a semi-hiatus right now because everything that’s going on, but i hope you are properly taking care of yourself >:( i’m always here to remind you to drink some water in between your coffees and teas and to GET SOME REST. you are so so driven, and i really admire how open and friendly you are. you truly are your namesake because you are literally an angel, and i always feel so blessed to be in your presence (even if you bully me sometimes for being a boomer 😔). words can’t describe how much i love you and care about you && i hope that you are able to find what you’re looking for during your break! 💖

@rumprich​ ananya! hello! i am so thankful to see you and all your content on my dash. you have so much creativity, and all your edits are so aesthetically pleasing to look at? like it’s so light + pretty!! i’m so so grateful that we are mutuals somehow because ahhh i really don’t deserve you. you are so adorable, and i truly am blessed to see your presence! 

@yuki-souma​ vee! i know we only started talking very very recently, but you are so much fun to talk to! i love how diverse our conversations are, and i love that we have similar favorites, and even when we don’t, it’s always a fun conversation that i look forward to! i love how open and inviting you are, and i’m really grateful that we are mutuals + i love and appreciate you so so much! 

@owlywrites​ owly! hello! you are seriously one of the most supportive souls i’ve met on this website. your kindness and drive to learn always leaves me speechless because you’re so amazing. thank you for being so kind to me, and i hope you extend that same kindness to yourself! don’t be so hard on yourself and remember to take breaks and take care too. you are such a beautiful soul, and i hope you’ll remember that i’m always here to support you!! 

@graphicstills-in-motion hi arianne! thank you so so much for always being so kind to me. i don’t know what i did in life to deserve you, but i must have done something right to have someone so kind like you in my life! thank you for being such a sweet soul + always boosting everyone around you up. your kindness is definitely contagious! i love seeing your edits and reading our conversations because there are always so many thoughts put in. thank you <3

@applepienation​ justine! thank you so much for always checking in on me whenever i post random shit on my dash. i really do appreciate you and all that you do for not just me, but also for everyone around you. you are such a ray of sunshine, and i’m so thankful that you’re in my life! i know uni is crazy for you right now, but i hope you’re still taking time to take care of yourself! sending you lots of love and positive energy!!

@touyax​ drake! hi love. i absolutely LIVE for your tags LMAOOADJGALD. they are literally my thoughts but you just typed them out HAHAH. i’m so thankful that i get to see your beautiful content on my dash, and i’m always in awe by all your edits! thank you for always being such a fun person + never leaving me feeling like a fool whenever i post ask games LOL. i love and appreciate you so much! 💖

@kagehjna​ ilayda! my kagehina supplier 🥺🥺 i love seeing your presence on my dash because you truly post all the best things! you are such a lovely person + i love reading your tags HAHA. you are truly a joy and we will definitely have matching kagehina icons one day okay 😭😭 12/7 is finally here/coming SO I AM SO EXCITED FOR YOU!!! thank you for always blessing me <3

@sadaharus hi mei! you are literally the definition of softness to me. all your content and edits are just so soft and beautiful, and i love seeing everything you post. you are my main gintama supplier HAHA. i really appreciate how kind you are + how you’re always so sweet to me. 🥺 i know it’s kinda funny how i started following you because of a random ask game, but i’m so so glad i did because i always feel so thankful you’re here! 

@fake-charliebrown charlie! my little sprout babie!! i have so much admiration for you because you have so so much talent! your style is so distinctive, and i love that!! it’s so soft + vibey, and i’m honestly so so amazed by it all. not to mention, you have the best haikyuu thoughts! thank you for sharing all of that with me! i’m thankful for you, thank you <3

@itachihaa​ ay! my froggy princess 🥺 thank you for always being so kind to me + having the patience to deal with how slow i am to responding!! i’m really appreciative of you always because you make/have so much beautiful content and you are so so sweet as well!? and the way you call me miss starlight 🥺 that makes me so soft like!! uuu i love you. 

@stardust-make-a-wish​ star! you are so so adorable!! i LOVE reading your tags because they make me feel so fuzzy and soft but also relatable HAHA. your presence is such a joy + thank you for always interacting with me even though i just spam random stuff LMAO. i love how thoughtful your answers are + how much you love cake/sweets (very suiting because you are so sweet 🥺). thank you for being interested in me even though i am the one asking you questions! 

@karasu-hoes​ daisy! hello! i have so much admiration for you because you have so much creativity and kindness! like your events are so cool and unique + your writing is so beautiful! i love reading your feral thoughts + all your work. i also really love reading your witching hours!!! thank you for blessing me with you 🥺 you are always so kind + i love how much you care about your friends and the people around you. i hope you’re taking care while renewing your teaching certifications! 💖

@frailuta nico! hello love! i know we haven’t really spoken before, but i just want to know i love you so much. you make the most beautiful gifs + i truly am in awe every time you post something. life is tough sometimes, but you are tougher! sending so so much love and positive energy to you + please remember to take care! <3

to all my mutuals and followers: thank you so so much for sticking with me and my mess of a blog. i honestly don’t really contribute much to anything, but i’m so thankful you guys are still here! thank you, thank you, thank you! i love and appreciate all of you guys + my ask box/messages are always open if you want/need someone to talk to 💖 thinking fondly of everyone today + so much love to you guys mwah mwah!

[machablossom]

I really want to rant about the ending. That was one wild episode 12 and I can't say I loved it, but I didn't hate it either.

Being honest, I think I'm mostly dissapointed things didn't go the way I wanted. I usually expect from a series to let me down in some aspects, but this time I felt like there was no rush of emotions like it happened during the past episodes.

I don't actually mind about the supposed queerbaiting, though I would have wanted Renga and Matcha Blossom to become canon. Alas, a girl could dream.

However, there were many things I believe could have been better, others which were just fine, and others which could have been different altogether from the very start of the series. Overall I feel like the main plot (Langa and Reki facing up against Adam) and the main theme of the anime (skating is a fun thing to do and it's better enjoyed surrounded with friends and people you love) were developed just right. However, the way they got to the results were not the best, in my opinion.

I would like to give my opinion on each character development, so this may take a while. Also, I'd like to point out what I would have wanted to happen, if things were up to me.

First and foremost, Adam is the character I had more trouble with. I didn't love the last beef against Langa much. I've had trouble with the entire Eve thing and the fact that he's a 30-something chasing after a 17 yr old boy, be it romantically or just skate-wise.

I know Adam's sexual preferences are never stated through the whole series but we can imply he does feel a certain attraction towards Langa beyond the skating scene and it is very uncomfortable, not to say wrong.

I loved the idea that he let go of the idea of chasing his 'Eve', to celebrate a wedding for a funeral. I am all for theathrics and drama, and his "final boss" outfit was nuts. The skateboard was awesome too! But the mere implications of him, turning into some sort of Grim Reaper whilst racing against Langa one last time are very bone-chilling, at least to me it was, again, very unconfortable.

I'd have loved for Adam to lose to Reki, OR, Tadashi and Langa to race so that the final encounter could have been Adam vs. Tadashi. That way, I think he'd have gotten to reflect on his actions and actually grow as a character rather than just be cured by the power of fun and friendship.

In the perfect scenario, he'd escape with Tadashi, he'd ditch his job and tell his aunts to go f*ck themselves, close 'S' for good and get some therapy somewhere where he could be happy skating with his beloved assistant.

On the other hand, I was hoping he'd get arrested. I hoped Kiriko got to put him behind bars and ruin his carreer both as a politician and as a skater, so that S would close. Maybe in some sort of epilogue we'd seen him come out of jail and make up with the gang, skating with them again as friends. Maybe Langa would go see him in prison to help. Idk, I feel like he needs retribution and punishment, but he was also a character who needed help.

The last part with Tadashi and the dog thing was weird and I didn't love it, but I think it works for their relationship. I won't complain, some other people here on tumblr have put it into words way better than I would have.

What I feel was the worst, worst thing they could do was have him crash their celebration party, falling ridiculously from a helicopter with a bouquet for Langa. No. No, just no. The creeps again. Ugh.

Then, I have to say the second in line who bothered me the most were Miya and Shadow.

It's silly: I really screamed in rage and pain about Shadow not getting together with the manager. I wanted all the other ships to be canon, but I knew it's Japan we're talking about and I know we'd get teased about it in the best case scenario, but the straight ship? The one they could totally go for? NO! Also, I think Shadow got played dirty, shoving him into the background after he was attacked in ep. 10. We didn't get to see any justice done to him against the dude that beat the crap out of him, if, perhaps, Shadow could beat him again at 'S', this time fair and square.

Miya, oh my poor catboy. Played so dirty as well. I liked the last time we see him when he meets with his friend again in school and they seem to reconect. But I wish we would have gotten to see them skate together again. This is very wishful thinking, but I wished we could have seen Miya a little bit older, when the others could have taken him a lot more seriously. I wanted him to do much more than just be a background character, because he deserved it.

Next is Joe and Cherry. Oh boy. Hold onto your horses, I have a LOT to say about my favourite duo.

Listen here, I wanted them to be canon. I hoped for the discreet rings on their fingers shot, or a sudden drop of any of them that they had been secretly married for the past two years or something like that. I wanted flashbacks to their trip to Paris. I wanted more of their teenage years. I wanted a date night at Sie La Luce. Man, I would have died for a kiss. But, alas, it's Japan we're talking about and I know I'm viewing the series from a western point of view.

But that's not what bothered me. What really bothered me was that all the tension that had been growing since ep. 7 between the two of them and then between them and Adam seemed to be just a stepping stone for Langa to win the tournament. We saw Cherry get slapped with a skateboard just for us, the expectators, to dislike Adam a lot more.

I would have loved for them to have the chance to reconect with Adam, be it by punching him or by accepting a heartfelt apology. Specially Cherry. Kaoru deserved MUCH better than what he got, and Joe deserved better than what we've got to see from him. The last scene we saw of them, idk, I thought it was funny and I loved how Cherry showed so little professionalism by drawing on his bf in public. LOL.

But I also didn't like it. I think they ended up being comic relief when they were two of the most wonderfully developed partners in the whole series, even if we've just got some crumbs of their relationship. Also, Joe's deep and caring personality, the whole pinning on Kaoru situation, feels like it matters so little when we see him back at the starting point, just being a shameless flirt. The advantage I see from all of it is that we've got a lot left to the imagination with them.

(Man, i would have loved to see Joe punch Adam in the face with a skateboard at the celebration party after his arrival on the helicopter).

And finally, Reki and Langa. Being honest? I actually loved them. I didn't mind there wasn't a explicit moment of romance or a confesion. That was never the point. The symbolism of their 'friendship', of their bond, is more than enough for me.

I think Langa was slightly too overpowered. As I said before, I think the beef was a little too over the top, but, mah, I've seen a lot of sports anime, its not that over the top. I'd have loved to see him snowboarding at some point, perhaps then we'd have seen Langa as a very talented athlethe and not just some random teenager with crazy skills he just pulled out of his pretty canadian butt. Then again, the little scene with his father's memory was really nice. Closure over mourning, that's a wonderful thing to do.

Reki, my boy, on the other hand, I loved him. Cheering for his bf and believing in him and waiting for him at the end of the line, *chef's kiss*. The part where Langa falls over him and they hug on the ground, perfect, hilarious. The insinuation that they are both happy when they are together, yes, yes, good. The last scene with Reki and his family, I love it! I have nothing wrong to say about Reki. I love him and I'd give an arm for him.

...

Overall, it was a good series. It could have been done better. The ending could have been better. I would love a sequel anyway, if only they could focus on the plotlines they left inconclusive and, for god's sake, they kick the creepyness down a notch. For what I conclude, the entire series was meant as fanservice and they didn't imagine it would grow so big. Anyway, I will keep writing Matcha Blossom, I really loved them and I hope this is not the last we ever see of them all.

[wormstacheangel]

Almost: Ch 5

Chapter Summary:  Dean hides in Cas's childhood bedroom during the funeral reception. He quickly finds himself having a nice conversation with Mick and - fuck- the dude's actually nice.

Read on tumblr Ch 1 link | Ch 2 link | Ch 3 link | Ch 4 link |

or read it on AO3 link (maybe leave a nice comment?)

Word Count: 2468 More Under The Cut

“Ah, this is where you’ve been hiding.” 

Dean was sprawled across Cas’s old twin bed, one leg swinging off the edge as he laid on his back holding up one of his old X-Men comics. He muttered a “Fuck” under his breath as he put the book down on his chest before looking up at Mick. The happy husbands-to-be walked in and closed the door behind him.

While Dean wasn't a big fan of the Novak clan - they weren’t so hot of Winchesters and company either - Sam and Charlie couldn’t give a rat’s ass. They both stayed downstairs with Balthazar who’s been the only one to welcome them in. Finding them ‘fascinating’. Whatever the hell that meant. But they were having a good time and Dean wasn’t going to rain on their parade just cause he wasn’t in the mood to mingle.

Instead, he hid in a familiar room, Cas’s childhood bedroom, that looked practically untouched. Even their old snack drawer was still filled with old Halloween candy wrappers. 

“Making yourself at home?” Mick asked as he looked around the room. His hands touching the items on the desk. “Oh, didn’t know Castiel read comic books.”

Dean sat up as he ran his hand nervously through his hair. “He - um, well - he doesn’t. I mean he does but he won’t buy them himself. Those are all mine.”

Mick looked at him, eyebrows pushed together as he squinted. “You brought comic books to read?”

“No!” Dean put the comic book he was reading down on the bed as he stood up to walk over to the bookshelf behind the door. He motioned towards the middle row. “These are all mine. I used to bring them so when Cas had to study I wasn’t so bored in his room.”

“Ah.” Was all he said as he looked back at the desk. “So you two spent a lot of time together?”

Dean shrugged, his hands awkwardly digging into his pant pockets. “Yeah, I guess. We did go to high school together.”

“Yes,” Mick looked over at Dean, a bright smile on his face as if he was excited that he knew something about Cas. “His first public school experience! He told me.”

Dean awkwardly chuckled. “Yeah, he got in real trouble when Chuck found out he forged his signature.”

“What?” 

“Cas! He um, he forged Chuck’s signature on the school papers.” Dean laughed remembering and walking back to sit on the bed while Mick looked at him, eyes sparkling in curiosity. Dean hated it. “Yeah,” He cleared his throat. “Um, Gabriel and Raphael helped him keep the whole thing a secret from Chuck for almost two years. It wasn’t until Cas got suspended that-”

“Castiel got suspended! He never told me!” Mick grabbed the desk chair and moved it closer to Dean. He looked happy to know more things about Cas and Dean felt himself relax just a little. As much as he was jealous - he was practically hulking out by how damn green he was - he was glad that Mick actually seemed to care about Cas. “Well, go on, Dean.”

“Oh, yeah.” Dean blinked a few times to catch his thoughts. His face blushing at the memory. “Shit, well, Cas got into a fight.”

“A fight?!”

“Yeah!” Dean laughed. “Some guys were messing with me. Just some dumb guy shit, you know. And someone must have called Cas cause all I remember is my nose cracking under a fist and then seeing the dude get tackled down. Like Cas full-on body slammed that dude to the ground!” Dean’s face hurt from the big grin that stretched over his lips. “Then he was screaming! Man, it was some sight! Never seen him so damn rabid like that since but I had to drag him off the guy before he really gave the guy a concussion.”

“My Castiel did that?” Mick sat back in his chair, in amazement and shock while Dean tried to hide the flinch from those words. Rolling his shoulders back before rubbing at the back of his neck. 

“Sure did.” Dean nodded before slowly standing up. “Well, we should head back down-”

“You know,” Mick sighed as he looked down at his hands. “I always feel that Castiel keeps me at a distance. As if he’s still guarding his heart from me.”

Dean falls back on the bed with a huff. For fucks sake, he really doesn’t want to play counselor to a guy he wants to hate. He could easily do the fake nice guy act and tell Mick that maybe Cas just doesn’t love him. That Cas was just a nice guy who has a hard time saying no to people and while that’s true he really doubts that’s why Cas said yes to him. Cas said yes because he loves this pathetic looking guy and Dean just wants him to be happy. 

Even if it’s not with him. 

Though Mick looked like he already trusted Dean wholeheartedly and it would be so easy - No!

Dean sighed as he scrubbed a hand down his face. Knowing damn well he was gonna regret playing nice but the guilt of being a part of hurting Cas would feel a shit ton worse. “Mick, man, Cas is complicated.” 

Mick looked at him with soft round eyes. He was being sincere as fuck and it was annoying. “Not to you.”

“I had practice.” Dean smugly smiled and gave Mick a wink. “Cas is like - fuck how do you even describe that crazy asshole?”

Mick laughed, relaxing into his chair more. “I guess like that but I wouldn’t say he was an asshole.”

Dean laughed and reached to pat Mick on the shoulder. “Oh, then you really don’t know him! If he hasn’t kicked you out of his car in the middle of a rainstorm because you offended his favorite character then just count yourself lucky.”

“He did that to you?” His eyes widened in shock.

“Twice.” Dean held up the two fingers with a grin. “Had to walk home too because he didn’t come back for me.”

Mick and Dean both laughed. 

Fuck. Dean thought as he saw the guy wipe tears from his eyes from laughing. Mick really is a great guy and now Dean just wants to help him. If it means he could make Cas happy then that’s all that mattered. He can at least do that for his old best friend. 

“He’s an old soul.” Dean continued and pointed at the bookshelf again. “You can check out the rest of the books and see they’re all classics. He won’t admit to it but he also likes cheesy YA books.”

Mick got up to check out the bookshelf, his eyes scanning it up and down before he reached for a random book that caught his eyes. 

“He’s a grumpy old man mostly. He hates being wrong and would fight you tooth and nail to prove his point.”

Mick looked up at him and shook his head. “I think me and you really do know two different, Castiels.”

Dean raises his eyebrows at that and hopes his heartbreak doesn’t show on his face. “Kinda curious on what your Cas is like.”

“He’s focused.” Mick nods stiffly at him before his face scrunches up. “That’s a sad first description of my fiance, isn’t it?”

Dean laughed before nodding. “Yeah, dude, it is.”

Mick looked so in love though as he smiled at Dean. “It’s stupid, Dean, but I just...since I met him I can’t think of anyone else.” 

No. No. I don’t want to hear this. Dean kept that smile on his face as he stood up to maybe distract Mick with a book. Cas usually had dumb bookmarks maybe he can talk about the pressed flowers.

“What about you, Dean?”

“What about me?”

“Did you feel the same when you got married?”

“When I got what?” Dean froze in the middle of the room but before Mick could ask again the door swung open. Shielding Mick from view.

Dean’s eyes meet the baby blue’s that made his stomach flip. 

Then Cas smiled at him and it wasn’t fair. He shouldn’t be smiling at him like that. Smiling as if Dean was his favorite damn person in the world. As if the hour separation from the last time he saw him was torture for him and seeing Dean was just pure relief. It wasn’t fair. 

“Dean.” Cas sighed, his shoulders dropping as his whole expression softened. He looked so relieved and happy to see him that Dean didn’t know what to do with himself. He just stood there like a dumbass as Cas ran into him. Crashing his whole body against Dean’s own and into a big comforting hug. 

Then Cas did this laugh - fuck it sounded so unrestrained and heartfelt that it made Dean feel like he was floating - as he hid his face against the crook of Dean’s neck. 

“I didn’t think you were going to come.” Cas quietly says and the relief in Cas’s voice left Dean more dumbfounded than he already was. 

“Wow! Am I getting one of those hugs too, sweetheart?” There was a small strain to Mick’s happy tone.

Cas froze in Dean’s arms - he even heard the dumbass cuss into Dean’s skin - before he pulled away to look back at Mick. Then looked back at Dean, his dumb head tilt - thank god that didn’t change - and squinty eyes asking questions that Dean could hear clear as day.

Dean rolled his eyes. “We were just talking. Don’t get your damn panties in a twist, Cas.” 

“I was just asking.” Cas shrugged, a smile in his voice before he walked over to Mick. “I’m glad you two are getting along?”

Dean could hear the damn question in his voice and stuffed his hands in his pockets. His heart was still racing from the few seconds of having Cas so close again. Having him look at him like...like that.

Mick pulled Cas from around the waist and reached to kiss his cheek. It was sweet and Dean saw the red prick Cas’s cheeks. 

“We are. I never had a best friend before but I am jealous of your friendship.” Mick looked over at Dean. “Must be nice to have that deep connection with someone.”

Dean looked away. Instead gave his attention to the desk that still had another comic book with a chip bag folded inside to be used as a bookmark.

“Yes.” Cas quietly said before clearing his throat. “Um, why are you both in my room?”

“I just followed Dean here.” Mick quickly answered while Dean nervously ran his hand through his hair.

“You know me, Cas. I can’t stay too long with that creepy vampire clan you have as a family.” Dean winked at him while Cas rolled his eyes.

“Vampires?” Mick asked as he looked between them.

“They’re not vampires.” Cas said at the same time Dean said, “Yeah, you know, bat wings and fangs. The full Twilight!”

“We don’t have...Dean! Stop telling people my family is made up of vampires!”

“I’ll be more worried at the fact that people always easily believe me.” 

“Ah,” Mick awkwardly laughed as he wiggled a finger between Cas and Dean. “Is this like an inside joke?”

“No.” “Yes.”

Mick hummed as he dropped his hand. Clearly uncomfortable but he should try stepping into Dean’s shoes. 

“How was the burial?” Mick turned to smile at Cas, leaning in to kiss his shoulder, and Dean had to fight the urge to roll his eyes. 

Just cause he thought the dude was nice doesn’t mean he wants to see that shit. 

“It was fine. Nobody really talked.” Cas nodded, his eyes far away as he was thinking about it because he was unsure. Then he blinked a couple of times before turning to look at Dean again. “Which reminds me, Bobby and you are invited to Dad’s will reading tomorrow afternoon. Actually, invited is the wrong word. You guys have to be there in order for the testament to be read.”

“What?” Dean shuffled the weight on his feet awkwardly as he tried to process Cas’s words. “What - wait. Why do we have to be there?”

“I honestly don’t know.” Cas shrugged, “But I would steer clear of my brothers for a while. Probably Sam too. While Gabriel may think it’s funny, he is the only one. They already don’t particularly like you, Dean.”

“Yeah, Cas, I noticed.”

“Really? They like me.” Mick proudly said, cheeks high as he smiled.

“Shocker.” Dean muttered but by the look of Cas’s face, he must have not said it quietly enough. “Whatever. Maybe I’ll just get Sam and Charlie and go home.”

Cas tried to step forward towards Dean but he saw Mick’s grip around his waist tighten. Cas made a face but then he gave Dean one of those fake smiles. “Yeah, probably for the best. Don’t want Mike finding you and interrogating you all night.”

Dean nodded, biting the inside of his cheek before he gave them both the same cocky smile. “Yeah. Sounds like a plan then. I’ll head out then.”

Dean made his way out of the room, not wanting to meet the stare that was digging holes into him. He made it down the hall and was on the first step down the stairs when Cas called out to him. Dean turned around just when Cas stopped only a few inches away from him. From this angle, he can just take the next step up and have his lips pressed up against Cas’s skin. Against his lips. Pull him down for a kiss he desperately can’t stop selfishly thinking about. 

At least he can imagine he was brave enough to do that.

Instead, he looked down at the piece of paper that Cas was handing him. “Take it, Dean, it won’t bite.”

Dean takes it and looks to see it was Cas’s phone number written in quick handwriting. That dumbass even drew a little happy face. 

“Call me in the morning so I can give you all the details about tomorrow afternoon.”

Dean puts the paper in his pocket as he smiles up at Cas. “Sure, Cas. Thanks.”

Cas smiles back and Dean swears he blushes. Before Dean could enjoy the handsome sight, Cas ducks his head down to leave a kiss on Dean’s cheek. It was quick but it still felt lingering as it burned his skin.

“Night, Dean.” Cas whispers as he starts to walk away. “Um, and thanks for keeping Mick company. Give your family my best for me!”

Dean sucked in a shaky breath. “S-sure.”

Then he waves back at Cas, who looked like he was almost skipping before he disappeared back into his bedroom. Back to Mick.

[puppy-phum]

Now that this hell year is almost over let’s celebrate the good things! If you’re receiving this it means you have made someone’s year better. Tell who on tumblr has made this year better for you (as many people as you like, it can be something as small as liking your posts or sending something sweet) and share some of the content you’ve enjoyed (your own or others)

thank you so much dear anon! ♥ I am happy to know that I’ve managed to make someone’s year at least a tiny bit better :’) as a year on tumblr, this year has been very special to me personally so am happy to know that someone has felt that too!

this is going to be a huge list so be warned! putting it under the cut bc of that~

@i-am-just-a-kiddo you are and will always be on this list first and foremost. you and our friendship is the best thing I have gotten from this hellsite and I continue being thankful for it ♥ I always have so much fun talking to you, you support me so unconditionally, share things with me and allow me to just yell about things every day! you never get bored of that endless stream of random nonsense I pour on you and it means so much to me ♥ I also feel honored to share your things, to see your paintings and read your writings and just be there for you. let’s hope the next year will be kinder to us and the world in general! and hey, maybe you get into guardian at some point heh (and thank you for getting into so many things with me this year already!)

@leonzhng I think I said this at some point too but you were the reason why I got into this community we have going on with @mdzsnet and gave me the confidence to just approach ppl here and love things together ♥ you are always so sweet and kind and lovable and I appreciate you doing all the things you do. your edits are amazing and inspirational and I love all the tag games we keep throwing around :’D 

@ashenwren you!! you are amazing and I’m so happy to have gotten to know you through our network :’) I am excited every day when I get to talk to you, even if it’s just for a moment as our timezones make everything kind of difficult :’D it’s just so nice to share mdzs and dmbj with you, to help you get into these dramas, to share all these ideas and thoughts we have, to share our different cultures and languages and whatnot. you are always so supportive and excited and kind and I wish I could hug you sometimes! I hope I still can write something more for pingxie and that I get to see a ton of your art! ♥

then to all the wonderful ppl in our network who have made my tumblr experience so wonderful this year, who keep being kind and amazing and full of so much talent! to @manhasetardis @aheartfullofjolllly @bees0are0awesome @highwarlockkareena @yibobibo @linglynz @yiqiie @wangxiians @leoyunxi @tiesanjiao @lan-xichens @oneautumnfox @aowyn @wangxianbunnydoodles @weiwuxcian and many others who I might have forgotten: I enjoy seeing you in my notes so much, I enjoy all of your content, seeing us all interact with each other and just being very friendly and welcoming ♥ I am thankful every day that I got to join this network and learn to know so many! continue being awesome and have a nice upcoming year :’)

then quickly to:

@lzswy thank you for loving my music and wanting to know me! I hope we get to talk some more and feel free to push music my way too, am always ready to drown in songs :’)

@kholran thank you for doing my tag games and allowing me to talk to you, to call you my friend, and share my love for liu sang! I will once again tell you that your fic (link here if anyone reading this is interested) was amazing and I hope we get to talk some more! 

and then thank you to all the ppl who I see in my notes all the time and leave amazing tags and just love me with interacting with my content and sometimes making it more known and just giving it their all: @btssjamss @a-force-dyad-in-space @cuppyhands @mylastbraincql @drwcn @fytheuntamed @distantsnows @brutalbeetle @intimisky @kazaore @inessencedevided @bluebelle88 @actualmichelle @sassyassassy @thebeautifulmacabre @merinnan @inkblue-black and many others who I might not recognize or remember or find right now! or who I have already mentioned in the network part bc you guys are awesome like that :’) especially when I have tried out new things this year and have dipped into new fandoms and reached out of this mdzs pit I am still in and unwilling to leave ♥ but you are still there and like my content haha

and then I want to mention some of my favorite works this year (I’ll try to pick one per month from my archives oh boy): 

@i-am-just-a-kiddo‘s amazing niemo fic that owns my heart, soul, and the never to be born firstborn ♥ 

@bloody-bee-tea‘s amazing mdzs related fics that always just make my heart clench but also bring me so much joy!

this amazing wangxian edit that still shatters me

this amazing wwx edit by hanyi ♥ @leonzhng I love the quote in this and this breaks me in all the best ways!

@fytheuntamed‘s whole the untamed memes series that single-handedly has saved this year for me (tho I suppose this started earlier than this year but who cares, quality content either way)

this jc outfits collection post by @linglynz ♥ everything for my am-a-hoe-for-the-angry-purple-guy -needs

this amazing art by @/hana-tox that still gives me so many feels that I feel like bursting 

this stunning edit set for the best album that dropped this year, map of the soul: 7, by @/kassareo

this wangxian edit that inspired me a lot and still makes me catch my breath bc damn that looks gorgeous (by @/itsazbitch)

another very inspirational edit set by @/sammyholdsacandle (some might recognize which one of my edits got inspired by this a lot lol) 

this very beautiful post by @alienwlw that’s really just goals tbh 

@sarawatsaraleo‘s favorite the untamed scenes series, every one of these edits is a huge joy and so beautifully done! ♥

@tiesanjiao‘s wonderful, wonderful wangxian edit that keeps being my one of my favorites ever and just. inspires me to this day, I hope one day I can gif :’D ♥

another one of my absolute favorites is this edit by hanyi again ♥ you just have the best ideas and you make everything so pretty!

this soft but heartbreaking, delicate but so emotional edit by @gusucloud ♥ I think I’ve never loved an edit this much, it’s so pretty and absolutely perfect!

this edit by @highwarlockkareena bc wth, the coloring? the gifs themselves?? gosh it looks so pretty and I might cry

@tiesanjiao‘s wonderful gifset made for the gif challenge that was going around during this time ;; as I was slowly falling in love with the iron triangle and dmbj in general, this felt like a blessing ♥ 

these absolutely stunning pieces of art by @/tiphs 

this absolutely gorgeous post for wwx’s bday by @alienwlw (all of this is just. perfect?? the colors, the gifs, the scenes... everything!)

this gorgeous edit by @distantsnows that makes me smile and cry at the same time ♥

this edit also by @distantsnows that is just. pure perfection?? bc fuck yes, sect leader jaing yanli!! I love you for this one

this edit by @lanzhansmiles bc the colors are just absolutely stunning and I love how they both sit there like that and just? wow 

this edit just makes me feel so many things and just looks so dreamy by @cescedes 

this adorable but also very painful edit by @manhasetardis ♥ I love all about this one :’)

and as a shameless self-promo (bc apparently I haven’t done enough of that lol) I want to mention my wu xie edit which was just so much fun to do and turned out so great and. I just love him a lot ok, he’s a wonderful character and zhu yilong played him so well ♥

I wish you all – all the ppl mentioned here and all who see this and all who still do not – a very merry christmas, happy holidays, and happy new years too! I hope the year 2021 will treat us all well and that you will remain as amazing, lovely, and wonderful as you all have been! ♥ 

[versdan]

Not All That (College!Carol Danvers x Reader)

Summary: Carol puts on a big persona being one of the most infamous jocks in the school. But what happens when someone like you can see right through it?

A/N: This is for @stuckonjbbarnes ‘ writing challenge! I’m so sorry this is hella late oh my- but! congrats again babes! I’m a sucker for college!Carol omf- Also, I took some lines out from the lyrics so some may be missing if you know the song. Also, quick thank you to my tumblr gf/mob gf @envoyofyagami​ for proof reading this. Love you babe 💞 I hope you guys enjoy & sorry for any typos! Requests are open!

Song: Cooler Than Me - Mike Posner

Pairings: Carol Danvers x F!Reader

AU: Frat/F-boy/College ish

lyrics are italicized & bolded!

please don’t repost/plagerize my work! x

———

If I could write you a song to make you fall in love

I would already have you up under my arm

You don’t know what your infatuation was with her. Maybe it was her confidence or the way that she just went about her life not caring but it pulled you in hard. Carol was one of the most talked about individuals on campus, having been known for her attitude towards people and just known as the life of the party. So when she began to develop a bit of a soft spot for you, it almost seemed to change her demeanor around her friends.

You both had been roommates since the beginning of your second year in college so you both had a small connection already which only allowed your feelings to blossom for the girl. 

I used up all my tricks, I hope that you like this

But, you probably won't, you think you're cooler than me

You had tried to push through Carols’ tough girl act but you couldn’t seem to budge through and it made you a bit sad. You had wanted to get to know her and yet it almost seemed as if she had begun to shut you out once she began to open up slightly. You never wanted to push Carol to her breaking point but it felt as if you did a bit.

Carol on the other hand was scared. She was scared to fall for someone again for her just to end up broken hearted like in her previous relationship. When she felt herself growing feelings towards you, she immediately separated herself from the friendship out of a good decision for herself, or so she thought it was.

When you saw that she was spending less time in your dorm together and eventually moved out to live in the frat house along with the other mates, you felt worse for even trying to pester her with questions in the first place. You tried to not think about her and hang out with your new roommate but no one can replace Carol in your mind. You couldn’t stop thinking about her and it hurt to see her around campus as you both acted like strangers.

And you never say hey, or remember my name

And it's probably 'cause you think you're cooler than me

In class, it was odd sitting next to each other. Not speaking a word when you both were known for being the loudest pair in class during lectures that you’d even get in trouble more than once from the professor and other classmates. Carol eventually stopped showing up or even moved her seat to another row, far from you and that’s when you knew things had definitely changed. You had no choice but to accept this big change even if you didn’t like it. 

-

You sat in your room, studying for your bio exam you had in two days so light cramming was your go to at the moment so you wouldn’t cram every chapter the day of. Your roommate came rushing into the room, throwing the book bag onto her bed before throwing herself on top of yours, laying all over your papers and notes. You sat there staring at her before laughing. “You alright?”

She sighed, rolling over onto her back, extending her arms out. “Classes are so boring. I feel like I am mentally drained that even answering the simple question of what is two plus two makes me blank” she said, rubbing her eyes with her fingers as you shook your head, continuing to write down notes.

“And watching you write notes, isn’t helping! Come on, (Y/N). Let’s go to the frat party tonight, everyone in the dorm is talking about it” She said, lowering your notebook from your hands as you sighed.

“I have to study for this exam, you know this” you told her, looking at her as she gave you puppy eyes. Sighing, you closed your notebook, knowing you couldn't resist the puppy eyes. “Fine. But don’t think this will happen again” you told her as she screamed getting up and running over to the shared closet for an outfit to wear.

You dreaded wanting to go to this party. You knew it was gonna be at the frat house Carol hangs out the most at and you didn’t want to run into her after everything that has happened. But another part of you wanted to show up to the party and forget about everything. To just let loose and if Carol sees, then Carol sees.

“Oh, what the hell” you said to yourself, getting up to go to your dresser trying to find something to wear as well.

But you don't know the way that you look

When your steps make that much noise

You both arrived at the party and the front lawn was already trashed with loads of people outside, making out or talking to one another. Walking through the front door, the music immediately made your head pound. Your roommate weaved her way easily through the crowd, leaving you alone. Typical.

Making your way to the kitchen, you grabbed an empty cup and filled it with the nearest drink you could grab and took a sip. It burned a bit but it was bearable. Looking around the kitchen and into the living room, you had underestimated how many more people there were tonight compared to every other party. Letting out a breath you tried to look for your roommate so you wouldn’t be alone at this party.

When looking around the room, you had locked eyes with Carol. She stood near the doorway, seeming to have to just walked in as she stopped greeting people midway. Your breathing hitched as a part of you almost seemed to flutter after not seeing her for so long. Turning around quickly and downing your drink, you threw your cup away. A random guy who had seen you down the drink, looked at you in awe. “Beat it” you spoke out softly before walking out the kitchen.

Walking past people dancing and away from the eye site of Carol, you made your way to the other side of the house where it was less packed with people and took a seat on the couch. You let out a shaky breath you didn’t know you were holding in. It was predictable that you were going to see her tonight no matter if you were going to hide in the farthest corner of the house or not, but you didn’t think a part of you would want to see her. Would want to talk to her tonight and just be close to her.

“You shouldn’t think too hard, ya know. It’s not good for you” you heard a voice say which pulled you out of your thoughts. Looking up, Carol stood smirking down at you while holding a drink. She took a seat next to you as you turned a bit away from her.

“Oh, come on. We’re old friends, don’t act like a stranger now” she said, taking a drink from her cup, looking away as you looked towards her and scoffing. She didn’t just call you a stranger

“You’re really one to talk and call me a stranger” you said, rolling your eyes as she turned to look at you giving a small smile.

“Oh, look! she speaks” Carol teased as you scoffed again, getting up to walk away before Carol reached out for your wrist and grabbing it.

“I’m only teasing. Come on, you know me (Y/N).” she told you as you turned to look at her, feeling anger bubble up inside you.

Shh, I got you all figured out

You need everyone's eyes just to feel seen

“Do I know you? because the Carol I know wouldn’t just leave me with no explanation” you told her as you saw her shoulders drop a bit as she let go of your wrist. A part of you didn’t want her to let go of you. You missed her touch already and it was only there for a good 30 seconds.

“I know, I just-” she started but you interrupted her.

“You just what? Found better people to hang out with? Shut me out completely even if we had made a pact? I was there for you and you knew that yet you still shut me out” you told her, finally airing it out to her but you couldn’t tell if it hurt to say that or felt good. You didn’t want to cry at a stupid frat party but here you were, beginning to tear up infront of your long-time crush.

Carol looked at you and placed a hand onto your cheek to which you leaned into her touch, closing your eyes for a second before looking at her.

Behind your makeup nobody knows who you even are

Who do you think that you are

“I miss you Carol. The real you, not this version of yourself that I lost you to” you said softly and it broke Carol’s heart. She knew she shouldn’t have pushed you away for any reason but she was scared. 

“I’m sorry. I was scared of what really was happening. I couldn’t bring myself to tell you that I was falling for you because I was scared that once I had you, I would lose you. I never wanted to lose you and that is exactly what happened” Carol said, feeling a weight off her shoulders finally telling you how she felt. You shook your head at her, grabbing her hand that was on your face and taking it into both your hands. 

“I’m still here for you. I’m always going to be here and you know that” You told her, pulling her in for a hug to which she returned. Everything felt okay in that moment, like all had returned to normal and never changed. You closed your eyes and savored the moment before Carol pulled back, placing her hands on either side of your face before leaning in and pressing her lips against yours. You kissed her back, placing your arms on her shoulders. You smiled into the kiss before pulling away and hearing a few cheers around you both. Looking over you saw Tony and Steve cheering you both on as you let out a small chuckle. 

“Let me re-introduce myself” Carol said, looking back at you, pulling away slowly and outstretching her hand. “My name is Carol and I think you are absolutely stunning” she said with a smile. You let out a chuckle, shaking her hand. “Nice to meet you, Carol. I’m (Y/N) and you’re not so bad yourself” you said, smiling at her as she raised your hand making you turn so your back was against her. She placed a kiss on your neck before wrapping her arms around your waist as you both swayed to the music. Maybe you both lost each other for a reason in order to find yourselves in the end.

-----

feedback is appreciated!

[crimefightingspiderguy]

love bug

Part III to the series, i want you to want me.

Summary: An introduction to Peter and (Y/N)’s school life. 

Warnings: I guess spoilers for Spider-Man: Homecoming? But if you haven’t seen that yet, get to it hop along. 

Pairings: Peter Parker x best friend!reader

Word count: 1,735

A/N: Hope y’all enjoy this as much as I enjoyed writing it!

The next morning you met Peter at the bus stop in between both of your apartments, like you’ve done everyday since your guardians trusted you to go to school without them. You carried the Mantecados, which were still fresh smelling and making your mouth water. Peter carried the poster board, having taken it back to his place to study his part of the public speaking portion of the project. 

“Hey there loser” You smiled as you approached Peter. He returned your smile quickly and looked back at his phone, texting away. “Hey, who you texting this early in the morning?” 

“I’m trying to get ahold of Happy, Mr. Starks head of security. I wanna see if they have another assignment for me.” 

“Already? I mean you did JUST get back from freaking Germany, fighting THE Captain America, might I remind you. I don’t think that the Avengers are working round the clock now that they’re broken up. Give it time Pete, he’ll get back to you.” You gave him a reassuring smile and side hug. You knew that Mr. Stark probably wouldn’t get in touch with Peter again for a minute, but Peter didn’t seem to want to accept that. He’d gotten a taste of that higher status as a superhero, and he probably wouldn’t let it go for a while. The two of you got on the bus when it arrived shortly after, and began rehearsing for your presentation. 

When you were dropped off at the nearest station, the two of you cut across the football field. Once in front of the school, you were greeted by Flash yelling “Sup, Penis Parker!” You flipped Flash off, and he quickly shut up and kept driving. He knew not to call you names because the last time he tried, you punched him in the throat. You didn’t do serious damage to him, just a sore throat for a couple minutes, but it gave him the message not to mess with you. You offered to do the same when he picks on Peter next, but he said that probably wouldn’t help his case if someone else fought his battles for him. When you got into the school you were about to say bye to Peter, you wanted to drop the Mantecados off to your Spanish class before you ate them all in between classes, or they fell out of your locker and went to waste. However, your bye was cut off by him staring off in the distance. You turned around to see what caught his eye, and you saw her. Liz, the upperclassmen who’d caught Peter’s eye as soon as the two of you had joined the academic decathlon. You turn you head back to Peter, a smirk plastered as you playfully punch his arm, 

“Earth to Peter.” He quickly shakes his head and chuckles to himself. “We’ll talk about this,” You motioned between Peter and where Liz previously was, “later, I’ve gotta go drop these off before I literally drop them.” You held out your hand to do your signature hand shake with Peter, and made your way to class. 

The presentation went better than expected, and the Mantecados were an absolute hit. You were still running on the adrenaline of doing such a great job, that you were practically jumping up and down as you waited in line for lunch. You joined Peter who’d beaten you to the cafeteria, at your usual seats in the back of the room, just the two of you and a couple seats down MJ. He was staring off again, a love-struck look on his face, and before even following his eyes you knew it was Liz. 

“Did Liz get a new top?” He mumbled, almost to himself.

“I don’t know Peter, why don’t you go ask her?” You smile smugly. “You should probably stop staring before it gets creepy though.” You whisper the advice, but MJ still heard.

“Too late. You’re a loser.”

Peter looked at her confused and offended,

“Then why do you sit with us?” he asked her.

“Because I don’t have any friends.” MJ retorted, and looked back at her book. 

“Anyway… Peter, just go up and talk to her. She’s actually really sweet and I’m sure it wouldn’t be hard to ask her to at least help you study for the academic decathlon. Then boom, before you know it, you’re in!” You grinned and gave him two thumbs up, trying to encourage him. He just chuckled and shook his head, continuing to eat his tater tots. 

After school ended, you and Peter went to practice for the academic decathlon. You, MJ, a kid in your grade - Ned, and Flash were being asked questions by Liz. Peter sat out and began talking with Mr. Harrington. You weren’t sure what they were talking about, but suddenly Flash yelled across the room, 

“You’ve never even been in the same room as Tony Stark.” Your eyes widened, and you began to shake your leg, something that happened every time you got nervous. 

“What’s happening?” One of the girls studying asked

“Peter’s not going to Washington” Another one responded, who had been clearly eavesdropping. 

“Really? Right before nationals?” Liz asked him. You gave Peter a wide-eyed look, this had been the first you’ve heard of him considering dropping out of the competition. 

“He’s already quit marching band and robotics lab.” MJ chimed in, everyone on the team turned their heads towards her and gave her a questioning look, which she quickly responded with “I’m not obsessed with him, just observant.” 

“Flash, you’re in for Peter.” Liz said, quickly bringing the attention back to practice.

“Oh, I don’t know, I’ve got a hot date with Black Widow, I might have to check my calendar.” Flash said, poking fun at Peter. You rolled your eyes at him, and tried to focus back on your practice. 

As soon as practice was over, you and Peter made your way to the bus stop. 

“Why didn’t you tell me you were dropping out of the finals?” You asked Peter as you waited for the next bus. 

“I wasn’t really planning on it, until we got to practice and I realized that it wouldn’t be smart of me to go. What if Mr. Stark needs me, and I’m not there?” 

“Peter, we’ve been over this. I don’t think Mr. Stark will have any assignments for you this soon. Even the Avengers have to take a break at some point.” 

“But what if Captain America comes back? What if he finally comes out of hiding and we have to chase him again? None of us know when that might be, so I have to be ready.” 

“But that’s the point Peter! No one knows, so you can’t put your life on pause, thinking that it might be within the next hour.” You were trying to reason with him, because you were worried about him. You didn’t want him to throw his current life away for some dream that might have only been a one time thing. 

“I can’t think like that (Y/N), I have to be ready for anything. Mr. Stark might need me, so I’m staying here.” Peter’s tone ended the conversation, and he quickly turned away from you to get on the bus. 

You were heading to Mr. Delmore’s convince store/deli to get after school sandwiches which had been a tradition, every Monday, since high school started. When you got there, the two of you got the usuals, and headed over to the abandoned building next door, climbing up the fire escape to sit on the roof and enjoy your subs. 

“So, enough decathlon talk, I know that I can’t force you to go, so I won’t try. What’s your worst fear?” This was another tradition. Once sat down and eating, one of you would come up with a random question that you had yet to know about the other. It kept the conversations interesting, and helped to strengthen your friendship, but overall, it was just fun compared to the boring “so this weather we’re having…” conversations. It was a sort of “penny for your thoughts” type of game. 

“Wow, (Y/N), I think that’s the deepest question yet. What did I ask last week? “What do you think life would be like with one giant toe rather than 5 small ones?”. You really know how to outshine me.” He chuckled, and thought about that question.

“Mines the unknown.” You answered as he thought about his. 

“What do you mean?” 

“Well, I’m a ball of anxiety and a hypochondriac, what do you think it means?” You laughed a little. “I fear not knowing what might happen next. I fear not knowing how the planet will die. I fear not knowing if I’ll ever be happy in life. I fear not knowing if I’ll ever be successful in my future endeavors. I fear not knowing if I’ll ever find love.” 

Peter looked at you seriously, and grabbed your hand that wasn’t holding your sandwich. You both took bites and sat with your words for a moment. 

“I think that’s something everyone fears. Not knowing, but that’s what makes life so great, is everything is unexpected.” Peter said. You nodded and smiled at him, squeezing his hand. You let it go and cleared you throat, taking another bite of your sandwich and then prompting him to answer the question.

“Losing you.” He mumbled. You almost choked on your sub, not sure if it was because you were shocked by his answer or you found it funny. Looking over at his face as he slowly ate his sandwich, you knew he was being fully serious.

“Why? If you lost me, you’d probably be sad for a month or two, then eventually move on. Why not your aunt May?” 

“You seriously think I could lose you and just move on? Yeah I’d be devastated if I lost aunt May, of course I would. But I could honor her like I do with uncle Ben. I could keep her memory alive, and live how she would want me to. But I couldn’t live without you. Everything I do would remind me of you, and it would feel like a ghost was haunting me everywhere I went. I would go mad before I got over your death.” 

You smiled down at the remainder of your sub. 

Current Taglist: @popluckbih @yourbiggestspiderfan

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[autumnpleaves]

can you tell me about your friends? -C (you dont have to)

Ooh! Sure, C! No problem! Hmm, since it doesn’t really specify which ‘friends’ you’re talking about, I’m going to talk about IRL and online ones! XD 

This is gonna be a long one, but only because I love, appreciate, and care for my friends :) 

So let’s start with my... 

IRL friends ^-^

I won’t be using their ‘real names’ so... meh. 

First up we have Eggen! :) 

She’s such a joy to be around (no this is not sarcastic). She has this weird fluctuating emotions sometimes and it’s scary to deal with (but not as scary as Jessie-). Funny story about how we actually met was that we had this conjoining class in Ext. Maths and she was from another class. I was still a new student then, so I wasn’t really familiar with anyone and my friends from *my* class were in Ext. Maths too, and were friends with Eggen, hence we all had this weird group thingy at one portion of the classroom and we hung out together. 

Now see, here, we weren’t really *friends* then. More like acquaintances XD 

BUT- 

I texted her because I saw in her profile, that she was a *HUFFLEPUFF* (which is different now, because it didn’t fit anymore- She’s a slytherin now :)) and I texted her saying “OH MY GOSH! YOU’RE A HUFFLEPUFF TOO?!!” I was a dork. It was stupid. And she replied “Haha, yeah...” and lemme tell you, I’m surprised why she’s still my friend to this day XD 

She’s improved a lot since then, and I am honestly quite frankly really *really* proud of her. She’s grown a lot (literally, coz she’s short and metaphorically, coz she’s so talented and skilled and smart now! [Not that she wasn’t smart before, just saying, definitely you can see progress]) She’s talented in drawing, ballet, has great ideas, really hard working, productive, one of the most inspirational person I know :) I’m glad to call her my friend :D 

(Only I get to call her Eggen though 0-0 ANyONe else who dares, will get a smack from me-) ALSO did I mention she likes to torture people by throwing her erasers at them? It’s funnnn memories :’) 

Next up we haveeeee Lizze!!

Lizze now this one, I didn’t meet until like... at least a year after Eggen. Honestly. Don’t judge me, our school is biiggggggg. She had long hair then. At first I see her here and there, and it was pretty chill. Nothing too... ya know- friendsy just like oh yeah I recognize you. We were in the same scholarship program! So that was fun! :) 

We didn’t officially properly meet until like a year after though, and well let’s just say it was fun. She’s one of the only friends I was able to rope into watching Sanders Sides with me and is also a huge geek nerd XD  She’s ALSO REALLY REALLY HECKING TALENTED IN WRITING?! LIke WHAT?! WHo even?! 

Yeah, such a great friend. She’s one of the people I go to when in need of any writing advice, or just advice in general! She really gives that second opinion and really takes things into account and I’m really just plain glad to call her my friend. I love her so much and like we would discuss and hang out sometimes on VC late into the night and it’d be funny watching her trying to navigate around her messy room :’) Ahh! Fun times XD 

Then we have... NICO!! :) 

Nico... was my first ever friend. Literally. In the new school. I’m gonna lay down the scenario XD

I walked into class on orientation day, not aa lot of students were there yet, I was early (for once). Nico was sitting on the left side of a table (we had two student tables) two rows from the back, near the windows. I walked in and was like Hm. Where should I sit? So I Decided that I wasn’t gonna be a wimp and decided to walk and sit next to Nico. He was also surprisingly a new student, so we kinda like related for a bit XD 

Flashforward and Nico is one of my close friends? I mean he’s there and he’s fun to hang out with XD (I don’t do labels, sorry XD) We would joke around, play around, and he’s just a great fella all around! It’s just sometimes people might make fun of him and he’d get insecure sometimes, which makes me sad and yeah! Favorite memories with him would always be in Ext. Math. We’ve landed in the same class (coz we switch around every year) like twice and everytime it’d be the same! And well every time in Math I would ‘show off’ my amazing math skills and he’d try to compete with me. It was fun every time. *dreamy sigh* 

I miss the competitions really. We’d compete to see who would finish first, who would do what part, and when either of us are confused we would annoy the other to get the answer XD I miss him :’) 

Then we get... JILL! :D 

Jill was another friend I met in my first year at the school. At first, she used to hang out with this other friend because they were stuck to each other since like primary, but slowly they drifted (which in my opinion might be for the best 😬) 

She’s an otaku. A pure bred otaku. I had to deal with her anime fanatic years for like... 3 years and counting now. Why. But she’s wonderful and drawing and would always have this bad habit of drawing on anything and literally whatever surface she finds. The desk, her notebooks, her test papers, her *SKIN*, *MY* skin, her WATER BOTTLE (like what THE HECK- JILL?!) but like, it’s endearing XD 

She’s great at complaining and hates hugs. She also hates mangoes- (If you remember what my catchphrase was? Yeah the, “GUESS WHAT? JILL HATES MANGOES” yeah it’s this Jill XD) I’m not joking. She’s great at complaining XD 

Funny story is that once we had to do this video project thing and we just had Jill complain about the amount of homework we had to like compare stuff and what not, and she did it. IN ONE BREATH. NO HESITATIONS. NO SCRIPT. ONE TAKE. WE were all DYING after that XDDD Coz she’s literally known as a complainer and she has great logic skills. She also really LOVES money... so... i mean... yeah. She’s really like... conservative with her money but isn’t afraid to use it to spoil others, but not herself XD 

Finally but not the last (I got more friends, but I don’t really... connect with them enough?) is BEEP! (no this is not her actual name, I just don’t really call her by her real name much) 

The OG friend from first day of school! Nico? YEah Step ASIDE BRO! XDD This gal is my go-to cuddle buddy. LIterally. Our moms are kinda like... besties? (*shrugs* it’s complicated) so we kinda do a lot of things together XD We go to gym together, go to places together, road trip together. She’s a joy to be around. She is like the cuddliest and well usually she does get teased about for being fluffy but like that’s the best part about her 🥺. Her mom is also really picky about her appearance which as her friends, we were pretty annoyed by it, but I love her the way she is :) 

First day of school and she walked by and asked to sit next to me. I said yes, without looking at her, coz I was *shy* (shush). Then we had an ice-breaker thing and LMAO guess what we bonded on- 

FRICKING HARRY STYLES AND WATTPAD- (look, if you’ve been on wattpad, you’d know that Harry Styles stories on there is never really... safe. in a sense.) SO, we’d immediately bonded over that and literally the rest of the day was history. We’d go through class everyday together and it would be a blast, OF COURSE she had other friends and I had mine, we weren’t really in the same ‘stereotypical’ group (like she has the more... *mean girls* kinda group [I’M NOT SAYING SHE’S MEAN! But, I’m saying that they have the popular group- yeah there that XD]) 

I had my own group but we hang anyways because it’s fun. She has the most beautiful laugh, like... literally the loudest and beautiful-est laugh ever XD We have so many inside jokes. She’d hold on to them and start laughing randomly XD She cries a lot when she laughs so that always spurs us to continue laughing, gosh damn it, I miss her. I’m smiling so hard writing this. 

XDD

Aight! That’s from my IRL friends! 

Next we have my online friends! :DDD

First up, we have YAWN! :D

Yawn is quite frankly, the first person I ever actually connected to on Tumblr here XD 

I’ve been through tens and hundreds of discord servers, jumped in tumblr group chats, and no where have I ever met anyone as wonderful as Yawn. Literally. 

I would say we pretty much clicked and when *she* (look I asked okay. they said yes to all pronouns so- >:3 I’m going to have fun with it XD) expressed xeir love for PUNS of all things, literally, I was shooketh. SO I LITERALLY SPAMMED HIM WITH ALL THE PUNS I COULD THINK OF- ANd then HE LITErally PropOSEd- XDDD I don’t know man. It’s amazing :’) I don’t know how I got this lucky. 

Yawn is like that refreshing giddiness you have as a child when you see a new toy or something. Yeah that’s Yawn. Literally every time we text it’s just so damn wholesome and so fun and it’s great! We’d talk about the most random things ever and it’d be amazing :))

Hhhhhhhhhhh, I’m just so damn proud of zem. LIke. Literally. Xir has come so far, and like... we haven’t really met for long yet but I just care about xir sooooooooooooooo much. It has always been there for me and I’m just so appreciative of it. We have so many- *WHEEZE* inside jokes- XDDD 

One I can think of is literally “I run you, Shakespeare” and it’s HILARIou- XDDDDDDDDDDDD

I can’t- It’s beautiful XD 

I just can’t believe that our friendship literally started with me just sucking up my anxiety and just texting people stuff and I honestly don’t know how it continued from there- XD 

They are the most accepting person I know. Genuinely. I don’t know where I’d be without them :’) 

Next we have... VOMMY! :DDD Or C-Gal... We gotta bring that nickname back XD 

First of all, we met in a Fander Pride Meet Up server. VOmmy CAN SPEAK DUTCH and is SOO CREATIve and SO FRIckING Hard WOrking and such an inspiration. Always greets us and is always down for hugs and cuddles XD 

Such a great tea friend, and has like the best aesthetic ever- literally. So old and vintage like a vintage mom and always down to talk about stuff! Ze is soooooo smart as well! And would infodump sometimes when ze’s not busy about stuff that I absolutely adore and love to hear about! Honestly the best vommy ever and ze has PLANTS like- *Woooooooooo!* 

We met vommy and literally we can always geek out with zem. Sometimes life gets hard and we need to scream it out every now and then, and vommy would be there :))) 

I am so proud of zem and just so damn happy to call zem my friend uwu 

ALSO HAVE I MENTIONED THAT ZE CAN SING AND PLAY THE UKE AND WRITE SONGS LIKE WHAT THE HECK THAT’S EPIC AH

Then we haveeeeee... STARBURST! OR BOB THE BUILDER!

ANOTHER friendo we met in the Fander Pride Meet Up Server (seriously a lot of cool friendos there). One of the best advice givers and the most caring older sibling ever. Literally. Like I can’t stress this enough. He’s such a great cousin duck and just a great listener friendo ever. 

Such a fricking talented writer and MUSICIAN AND FRICKING ARTIST LITERALLY THE WHOLE SHEBANG IT’s RIDICulOUS 

I’m literally so proud of him. It’s crazy. He’s always been there for us, all of us. And is there to provide hugs and arms to cry on. ALSO HAVE I EVER MENTIONED HOW BEAUTIFUL HE IS??! LIKE WHAT THE HECK- AHhhhhHHHHHH

SO BEAUTIFUl- and PRETTY and GORGEOUS 

Next we haveeeeeee- POPPY the POPTART! :D 

First time we met in the Fander Pride Meetup, I may of may not have offended them. 0-0 

woops. 

I still feel really bad about that honestly. Uhhh, anyways, I won’t go too in depth on that. BUT ANYWAYS- 

THEy Have been such a WONDERFUL presence in my life. LIterally. LIke They have such an cheerful vibe ever and would never fail to make me laugh or like coo or like anything coz they are soooo ADORABLE! They are also like really great cuddler and hugger and sooooo sooooo sooooo handsome :DD

Sure there are rough patches in their lives, but I adore them and am sooo sooo soo proud of them for being able to go through it and still come out with their heads high and just so damn happy that they will not give up that easily. I really admire their strength, and we are always there to support if they need help :) 

Also, go check out @/poptartsaysurloved pinned post. See if anyone is willing or can help! :) 

Next we have... ATLAS! Or LAssie as I like to call him XD

He’s one of the screaming cereal that I most definitely did not meet in the Fander Pride Meet Up and instead in another server and I’m glad to have met him XD 

I don’t know the *exact* thing I texted him, but I definitely remember asking him about something in his status and I most definitely was satisfied with my answer and we just started talking in DMs for a bit, before I invited him in to the screaming cereal bowl server! :D 

IT IS A BLAST 

LITERALLY 

ARSon kid can’t go a day without wanting to blow something up and frankly I’m concerned but such a great friendo

Provider of memes, jokes, laughs, hugs, cuddles, and fun time XD 

I can’t even, it’s crack head moments every time with that lassie XD 

AHHHHHHHHHHHH FINALLY but obviously not the LAST W E HAVE HEDGIE the ShellY HOGGLES

HONESTLY I LOVE THIS GURLY SOHECKING MUCH 

She deals with my bull crap every day kind of and deals with a bunch of my mushy feelingsy moments! I can’t stress enough. Literally Shelly McScotty over here is like the most relatable person ever. Mood all the way and we have like SOO MANY SIMILAR INTERESTS 

IT’s CRAZY! When I first found out that she watches like Unus Annus, Winx Club (SHOOSH IT’S A GOOD SHOW SHUSH) Literally, I’m like this is the best person ever. She’s also knowledgeable in a lot of stuff and is literally like the best person to go to when you need to get like informational stuff

Literally. I would info dump on her and she’d be such a great listener. Fricking Disney and Potterhead GEEK of the decade. HOly heck this lady is the literal embodiment of a disney princess. FIRST OF ALL, PERSONALITY IS THERE. SECOND OF ALL, HER LOOKS! HAVE YOU SEEN? LITERALLY SO DROP DEAD GORGEOUS ON FLEEK MAKEUP! AHHHHHh

I can’t get enough of this dude. Gives great advice and insight on soooo many things and I’m just so glad to have met this gurl. I don’t know how exactly we met, but I’m glad we did. 

MIND YOU most of my friends are either from Tumblr or Discord so XD 

AHHHHHHHHh

Welp! This was a fun! I definitely spent wayyyyyyyyy too long on this thing, but it’s worth it! XD 

Hope you have fun learning about my friends from like a freaking geeking out stand point Canon! :D 

I have a feeling you wouldn’t read through this entire thing, so well... AH! Hope you have a nice day and don’t sleep too late! Tell me about your friends as well! :))  

[youcanhavemybuckanyday]

Answer all of them. 1-170. have fun.

HELL YES LETS GOOOOOOOO

1: How tall or short do you wish you were? 

5′2″. Exactly how tall I am now. I like being short.

2: What’s your dream pet? (Real or not)

I’ve always wanted a ferret. They can weed out people for me. If a person says “Ew, it’s a rat” then they ain’t worth my time.

 3: Do you have a favorite clothing style? 

Whatever’s on sale. Preferably baggy and comfortable

4: What was your favorite video game growing up? 

Always has been and always will be the Nancy Drew computer games. I’m obsessed. There are 32 games (we don’t talk about number 33), and I’ve played each one dozens of times.

5: What three things/people do you think of most each day: 

My laptop, my dog, my tumblr account

6: If you had a warning label, what would yours say? 

Warning: Prone to spontaneous breakdowns, both physically and mentally.

7: What is your opinion on [insert person/thing here]? 

Honest opinion on @Elizard-Hamilton, the person who sent this ask: They’re super sweet and kind, and probably the first reciprocal tumblr friendship I’ve ever had.

8: What is your Greek personality type? [Sanguine, Phlegmatic, Choleric, or Melancholic] 

Don’t know what that is, too drunk to figure it out right now.

9: Are you ticklish? 

God yes. But I retaliate. If you tickle me, you will die.

10: Are you allergic to anything? 

No, that’s the one medical thing that I don’t have.

11: What’s your sexuality? 

Hetero-Demi Sexual. So I like men, but I’m only sexually attracted to them if we’ve been close for a long time.

12: Do you prefer tea, coffee, or cocoa? 

Cocoa, always. Specifically, Tim Hortons Hot Chocolate. Medium, 2 creams.

13: Are you a cat or dog person? 

Dog. Always.

14: Would you rather be a vampire, elf, or merperson? 

I answered this one already, definitely merperson.

15: Do you have a favorite Youtuber? 

Nope.

16: How tall are you? 

See above.

17: If you had to change your name, what would you change it to? 

I’d just add an L to my name. New name, pronounced the same.

18: How much do you weigh? [Only ask this if you know the user doesn’t mind!] 

Right now, 126 lbs. But I should be 110. I just got off a medication that made me gain 40 pounds practically overnight. I went from 100 pounds to 140 pounds. I’m slowing losing the weight.

19: Do you believe in ghosts/spirits? 

Not in the traditional sense, but I do believe there are things about the departed we don’t yet understand. Kind of like way back when they though lightning was a supernatural event, until they found a scientific explanation for it. I think there’s stuff we just haven’t discovered yet.

20: Do you like space or the ocean more? 

Ocean.

21: Are you religious? 

Nope, athiest.

22: Pet peeves? 

Idk, I can’t think of any right now.

23: Would you rather be nocturnal or diurnal [opposite of nocturnal]? 

Wtf I don’t know? Who cares? I’d rather be whatever koalas are. They sleep 22 hours a day.

24: Favorite constellation? 

The only one I can think of right now is big dipper. That makes it my favourite and also my least favourite constellation.

25: Favorite star? 

See question 24, but North Star.

26: Do you like ball-jointed dolls? 

I don’t know what that is? Do you mean like Barbie? I litterally watching Barbie Nutcracker right now, lol.

27: Any phobias or fears? 

Spiders.

28: Do you think global warming is real? 

Duh.

29: Do you believe in reincarnation? 

No.

30: Favorite movie? 

Does Hamilton count? If yes, that. If not, Knives Out. I’m a sucker for a good murder mystery.

31: Do you get scared easily? 

Yes.

32: How many pets have you own in your lifetime? 

Oh god. Idk. You’re going to make me do math on vacation. Lets see. 3 Dogs, 2 Cats, ungodly numbers of fish, 2 rats, 5 hermit crabs, 3 hamsters, probably others I can’t remember.

33: Blog rate? [You’ll rate the blog of the one who’s asking.] 

@elizard-hamilton 10/10. 5 stars. Thumbs up. Gold Star.

34: What is a color that calms you? 

Royal Purple. I used to have a bedroom where everything was royal purple. The walls, the furniture, the bedding, the accessories. Everything. It was a great time in my life, so the colour makes me think of good times.

35: Where would you like to travel and/or live? 

I’d love to go to Belgium. My grandmother was born there, and we still have family over there that I’ve never met.

36: Where were you born? 

London Ontario

37: What is your eye color? 

Hazel

38: Introvert or extrovert? 

Introvert

39: Do you believe in horoscopes and zodiacs? 

Not at all

40: Hugs or kisses? 

None of the above. I have Asperger's, I don’t like to be touched.

41: Who is someone you would like to see/visit right now? 

I’d love to see my BFF from high school again. Haven’t talked to her since we graduated. Rachel, if you’re out there, I miss you.

42: Who is someone you love deeply? 

My parents.

43: Any piercings you want? 

None.

44: Do you like tattoos and piercings? 

Nope. I don’t have anything against them, they’re just not for me. If you have them, I won’t think any less of you. There’s nothing wrong with them.

45: Do you smoke or have you eiver done so? 

Nope. I’ve already got really shitty lungs (I have Cystic Fibrosis), I’d rather not make them worse than they already are.

46: Talk about your crush, if you have one! 

Oh gosh, he’s cute, funny, talented, a great singer, a great writer, he wrote a hit broadway musical... oh, he doesn’t count? Then no, no one right now.

47: What is a sound you really hate? 

Styrofoam rubbing against more styrofoam.

48: A sound you really love? 

The notification sound tumblr makes when I get something in my inbox

49: Can you do a backflip? 

HA no.

50: Can you do the splits? 

HA HA no.

51: Favorite actor and/or actress? 

Do I even need to answer this? I’m going to anyway. It’s..... drumroll........ Danny Devito! Lol, no, it’s Lin Manuel-Miranda

52: Favorite movie? 

This is the same as question 30.

53: How are you feeling right now? 

Drunk. Next question.

54: What color would you like your hair to be right now? 

Purple. I used to have purple hair. Then I got older and got a real job and I’m not allowed to die my hair anymore.

55: When did you feel happiest? 

At 16, with my purple hair and purple bedroom and my bff in like grade 11

56: Something that calms you down? 

Hamilton

57: Have any mental disorders? [Only ask this if you know the user doesn’t mind!] 

Asperger’s, Depression, situational anxiety.

58: What does your URL mean? 

Every time is Hamiltime. Because it’s always time for Hamilton.

59: What three words describe you the most? 

Bizarre, confrontational, idk. Is there a word that means unwilling to put up with anyone’s bullshit? Because if so, then that.

60: Do you believe in evolution? 

Yes. Evolution is a fact, it’s been proven. So this question should not say do you believe in evolution, it should say do you accept evolution.

61: What makes you unfollow a blog? 

If they start posting stuff i disagree with, or if they totally veer into a new fandom I’m not interested in. I’ve lost so many good blogs to kpop.

62: What makes you follow a blog? 

Idk, I like their stuff?

63: Favorite kind of person: 

Kind people.

64: Favorite animal(s): 

Pug.

65: Name three of your favorite blogs. 

I’m not going to start naming friends, cause I’ve got way more than three and I know I’m going to forget someone, so here’s 3 random blogs I enjoy: gmoringgnight, tinywhim, torsnavi

66: Favorite emoticon: 

I’m on my laptop, i don’t have emoticons right now, but probably the one where he’s crying laughing

67: Favorite meme: 

All of them. I love all the memes.

68: What is your MBTI personality type? 

I’m too drunk to remember right now, ask me tomorrow.

69: What is your star sign? 

Pisces

70: Can your dog roll over on command, if you have a dog? 

He cannot. He’s an idiot. But he can give you a high five, if that counts for something.

71: What outfit out of all your clothes do you like to wear the most? 

Leggings, T-Shirt, Hoodie. Whatever’s clean.

72: Post a selfie or two? 

No

73: Do you have platform shoes? 

No

74: What is one random but interesting fact about yourself? 

I can solve a rubik’s cube

75: Can you do a front flip? 

LOL NO

76: Do you like birds? 

To look at, not to own or touch

77: Do you like to swim? 

Very much. In the water, it’s the one place my back doesn’t hurt.

78: Is swimming or ice skating more fun to you? 

Swimming. I don’t skate. I know, oh wow, a Canadian who can’t skate. Sue me.

79: Something you wish didn’t exist: 

Trump.

80: Some thing you wish did exist: 

Alex Clairmont-Diaz

81: Piercings you have? 

My ears are pierced.

82: Something you really enjoy doing: 

Reading

83: Favorite person to talk to: 

My mom

84: What was your first impression of Tumblr? 

Amazing, finally a place I can be as weird as I want and it’s totally anonymous.

85: How many followers do you have? 

I have no idea.

86: Can you run a mile within ten minutes? 

HA no

87: Do your socks always match? 

Yes

88: Can you touch your toes and keep your legs straight completely? 

When I was 14, they did a surgery where they put metal rods in my spine to keep it from growing crooked. My spine doesn’t bend at all. So I’ve never tried to touch my toes, but I’m going to go with no, I can’t.

89: What are your birthstones? 

I think Aquamarine? I don’t remember.

90: If you were an animal, which one would you be? 

Koala. They sleep 22 hours a day.

91: If a flower could aesthetically represent you, what kind would it be? 

I can’t think of any flowers right now beyond rose and tulip, and neither represent me. Is there a flower that’s really ugly? If so, that.

92: A store you hate? 

Gap. I despise that store with every escence of my being.

93: How many cups of coffee can you drink in one day? 

None. It tastes like manure.

94: Would you rather be able to fly or read minds? 

Ooh, fly. No more wheelchair.

95: Do you like to wear camo? 

I don’t think i particularly like or dislike it. I just don’t wear it.

96: Winter or summer? 

SUMMER ALL THE TIME

97: How long can you hold your breath for? 

Not long at all. See explanation above, r.e. Cystic Fibrosis

98: Least favorite person? 

Trump

99: Someone you look up to: 

My mom

100: A store you love? 

Hot Topic. Yes, I’m basic like that. 

101: Favorite type of shoes 

Flats, cause I don’t have to attempt to bend over to put them on.

102: Where do you live? 

Hamilton, Ontario, Canada. Yes, I’m serious.

103: Are you a vegetarian or vegan? If so, why? 

Nope.

104: What is your favorite mineral or gem? 

Wtf? Are people supposed to have a favourite mineral or gem?

105: Do you drink milk? 

No

106: Do you like bugs? 

No

107: Do you like spiders? 

NO

108: Something you get paranoid about? 

If I remembered to turn off my computer before I go to bed.

109: Can you draw: 

Nope

110: Nosiest question you have ever been asked? 

On a daily basis, people ask me why I use my scooter or my wheelchair. Every day. Not so much during the pandemic, but yeah.

111: A question you hate being asked? 

“When are you going to get a boyfriend?” “When are you going to settle down?” 

112: Ever been bitten by a spider? 

NOPE

113: Do you like the sound of waves at the beach? 

Who doesn’t?

114: Do you prefer cloudy or sunny days? 

Cloudy, cause then I can stay indoors guilt-free

115: Someone you’d like to kiss or cuddle right now: 

My dog. But he’s with my sister.

116: Favorite cloud type: 

???? Is this something I’m supposed to have an opinion on?????

117: What color do you wish the sky was? 

???? IDGAF ??????

118: Do you have freckles? 

No

119: Favorite thing about a person: 

Their laugh

120: Fruits or vegetables? 

Fruit

121: Something you want to do right now: 

Get another drink, but that’s probs not a great idea

122: Is the ocean or sky prettier? 

Ocean

123: Sweet or sour foods? 

Sweet

124: Bright or dim lights? 

Dim

125: Do you believe in a certain magical creature? 

No

126: Something you hate about Tumblr: 

I can’t reblog ads. Some of those ads are really, REALLY funny.

127: Something you love about Tumblr: 

Completely anonymous. I could be anyone. For all you know, I’m actually Mike Pence. (I promise I’m not)

128: What do you think about the least? 

Idk? There’s probably lots of stuff I’ve never thought about at all

129: What would you want written on your tombstone? 

Nothing, but I want there to be a little machine on top that looks like a parking meter, and when you put money in it you get wifi for an hour.

130: Who would you like to punch in the face right now? 

Trump, most of the politicians in the states. I want to go to New York, and I can’t because y’all can’t get your shit together and kick this virus.

131: What is something you love but also hate about yourself? 

My face. Not going to elaborate.

132: Do you smile with your teeth showing for pictures?

Yes, but only because I get yelled at if I don’t.

133: Computer or TV? 

Computer.

134: Do you like roller coasters? 

I used to. Then the back surgery and now I can’t anymore.

135: Do you get motion sickness or seasickness? 

Motion sickness no, seasickness yes.

136: Are your ears lobed or attached? 

Lobed.

137: Do you believe in karma? 

I believe that what you do will eventually come back to bite you in the ass, but I don’t believe in some cosmic force that balances the scales.

138: On a scale of 1-10, how attractive would you say you are? 

0. Not going to elaborate.

139: What nicknames do you have/have had? 

None. My name has always been Adele. The few people who tried to give me nicknames got shot down real quick.

140: Did you have any pretend or imaginary friends? 

When I was little, yeah

141: Have you ever seen a therapist/shrink? 

Yes ma’am. For over a decade.

142: Would you say you are a good or bad influence to others? 

Both at different times.

143: Do you prefer giving or receiving gifts/help? 

Giving. I never know what to say when receiving.

144: What makes you angry 

A lot of things these days. Can’t think of anything specific. My sister, usually.

145: How many languages do you speak fluently? 

Two. I speak French and English.

146: Do you prefer boys, girls, and/or non-binaries? 

Boys.

147: Are you androgynous? 

Nope.

148: Favorite physical thing about yourself: 

My face. Not going to elaborate.

149: Favorite thing about your personality: 

My “take no shit” attitude.

150: Name three people you would like to talk to right now in person. 

Lin Manuel Miranda, Renee Elise Goldsberry, anyone from West Wing

151: If you could go back into time and live in one era, which would you choose? 

Revolutionary America

152: Do you like BuzzFeed? 

I’ve been known to partake.

153: How did you meet your spouse/girlfriend/boyfriend/partner? [If you have one.] 

Nope. I’m forever alone.

154: Do you like to kiss others’ foreheads or hands for platonic reasons? 

No. I have Asperger’s. No touching.

155: Do you like to play with others’ hair? 

No.

156: What embarrasses you? 

When I need to ask for help for really simple things because of my wheelchair or other disabilities. I hate it.

157: Something that makes you nervous/anxious: 

The future, for reasons way too complex to write in a tumblr post.

158: Biggest lie you have ever told: 

I convinced half my second grade class I was related to Elton John once. That was fun. They believed it for like 3 months.

159: How many people are you following? 

Hundreds.

160: How many posts do you have on your blog(s)? 

I don’t even know how I would find that out.

161: How many drafts do you have on your blog(s)? 

Right now, I have 12, but that’s because I’ve queued up the next 4 days HamiltonHungerGames. Usually, I have none. I don’t understand how people have drafts. When I feel like writing something on tumblr, I start a post, I end the post, I post it. I never use drafts

162: How many likes do you have on your blog(s)? 

??? Again, I have no idea how to find that information.

163: Last time you cried and why: 

I honestly don’t remember.

164: Do you have long or short hair? 

Usually long, but right now short. My mom decided to give me a covid haircut, and she does not understand the meaning of “Just a trim”.

165: Longest your hair has ever been: 

Down to my butt. 

166: Why do you like, dislike, or have neutral feelings about religon? 

Dislike. I’m not going to talk about it here, but if you’re really curious you can dm me.

167: Do you really care how the universe and world was created? 

Yes, because if we know where the universe and world came from, we can figure out where it’s headed. See the book Origins by Dan Brown.

168: Do you like to wear makeup? 

Not at all.

169: Can you stand on your hands or head for more than thirty seconds? 

I can barely stand on my feet for more than 30 seconds.

170: Did you answer the questions you were asked truthfully? 

Tried to.

Ok, this took me an hour and 45 minutes. I’m tired, I’m drunk, I’m going to regret this in the morning, I’m going to bed. Night y’all.

[seven-oomen]

Hi Ben!  I see you’re still enjoying the absolute insanity that has gripped tumblr the last couple of days XD .  As someone who’s been a tumblr lurker for a number of years, this is hysterical enough from my side.  I can’t imagine the sheer ridiculousness of seeing it firsthand.  Virtually every blog I check, no matter if they’ve ever seen a SPN episode or not, has been posting about it.  It is WILD.

I feel like I’m at least a little lucky that I always skewed more ‘lock’ than anything (mainly because my 'who’ took a hard dive into Torchwood and never really recovered), so there’s less emotional flashbacks/richochets/rollercoastering/etc.  (Yes, I did in fact see the news about Sherlock season 5, but I never saw season 4 because of some of the feedback I heard before I got the chance to watch it, so it’ll take something truly impressive to draw me back now.)  Although in a roundabout way Sherlock is what eventually led me to Teen Wolf because of multi-focus blogs, so I guess I can thank it for that.

Work was one of those super fun days where the manager leaving not long after I got there was all “Yeah, it’s been really calm, and both deliveries so far have been small and should be easy to deal with."  So of course, about an hour after he leaves, four more pallets full of stuff show up, so I spent pretty much my whole shift trying to get everything checked in.  On the one hand, yay, less customers, on the other, hauling that shit around in a mask gets hot.

That dish sounds delicious, and definitely better than my sad lunch/dinner at work.  Ngl, I’m extremely jealous.

And omg, the last line post now has me nervous again because there are multiple options of who is saying whatever it is to whom, and all of them hurt.  XD  Also very here for the idea of a pack of three year-olds trying to pull a Parent Trap on their respective dads.  Is there a treehouse or playhouse they can lock them into to talk?  A moment of Jax and Stiles pointing out that they both agree on this, so they should know that it’s serious?  Trying to make them draw or write down why they’re sad, or whatever similar coping skills the dad usually has the kid use?  Trying to take away a treat of some sort/ground them from doing something/etc until they agree to talk to each other?  So many possibilities.

I cackled at that coffee shop guy post, because the sheer obliviousness demonstrated by the op throughout the story is almost the exact energy being displayed by Peter in my fake dating fic and seeing a story of it happening in RL about took me out.  XD

Also, I’m super curious what kinds of rituals you’re planning for the fic.  Good, bad, druidic, wolfy, pack, wedding, birth, sexy, friendship, binding, warding, ???  Inquiring minds want to know (whenever you are ready to share of course.  Inquiring minds can also be patient. ;D )

Oh, a funny moment at work!  I was picking up one of the pallets after I’d emptied it, and there was a knot in one of the boards that I almost knocked out as I grabbed it, and my brain’s immediate thought was "Whoops, almost just popped the knot on that wood”, immediately followed by the thought “Oh god, no, jesus christ, PHRASING, tonight of all nights, no."  (I am super sad that there is no one I work with that I could scream about this with.)

Anyway, I should wrap up because I need to leave for work soon.  Enjoy the continuing thrill ride that is this site, and best of vibes for any writing attempts today!  Take care!  *Hugs!*

Okay I’m gonna add the preview to your fic from your last message to this one so I have it all in one message here. Because after writing over 3K yesterday my brain is just really tired and I keep wanting to nap today. Haven’t done much and replying to two messages is a bit much. 

On the flip side, I did update Final Masquerade today and that chapter is almost 7K long. So yay!

Also, my fucking feelings while writing that. Jesus christ on a pogo stick.

And in the spirit of “Oh, did you say enemies-to-lovers?  Sorry, I heard idiots-to-lovers”, here is another preview from the fake dating fic, because I love this part, and it features the first appearance of Fashion Consultant Peter:

“Peter, what the hell are you doing in my closet?” Noah’s voice sounded like it was thankfully more bemused than annoyed, but Peter knew that it could be a fine line to walk.

“Trying not to cry in despair, for the most part. Why is everything you own at least a size too big and some shade of brown?” Peter called back over his shoulder, still staring at the somewhat neatly organized rainbow of dull, listless neutrals in growing dismay.

“I’m wearing a green shirt right now, asshole, and not all of us are interested in looking like we got squeezed into our clothing by force. Some of us actually acknowledge our age, and try to dress somewhat appropriately. Some of us also understand the value of blending in.”

“Okay, firstly, age, as they say, is just a number. Secondly, there’s trying not to stand out, and there’s just giving up. Though frankly, I’ve never quite put much stock in either.”

“Color me shocked to hear that from someone I’ve seen wear a cardigan like it was an actual shirt on more than one occasion.”

Peter shrugged as he continued to rifle through hangers and peek into storage containers, though he wasn’t certain that Noah could even see him from within the depths of the walk-in. “If you’ve got it, flaunt it.” The sigh that answered him held a level of long-suffering, begrudging patience that Peter was far more used to hearing directed at Stiles than himself.

—–

Why yes, there is indeed a trip suit shopping in the story.  Basically, I am cramming in every random obnoxiously trope-y thing I can remember from the few rom coms I’ve seen.  Also, there is so much food in this story.  Like, it’s ridiculous how often there someone ends up eating something.  I’m not even sure where it came from.

I’ve been reading this multiple times in the last few days, it’s just so cute! 

He’s in the closet huh? Is he gonna come out?

Sorry, sorry, I’ll can it XD 

And honestly, I think Tumblr’s 2012 insanity streak is the only thing keeping me sane right now. Because holy shit what a week.

I never really got into Sherlock myself or Doctor Who. I think I saw one episode of Dr. who (with David Tennant I think) and three episodes of Sherlock because my mom used to watch it.

I saw 12 seasons of Supernatural though, I definitely had an obsession with Destiel and particularly Dean Winchester. Fun fact; Cosplaying Dean made me comfortable enough to come out to my friends as transgender. Because I realized that I couldn't hide my gender even if I tried so hard for over 23 years.

And it was Supernatural that eventually led me to Teen Wolf. Well, that and Grimm, which was also a really fun show and really interesting.

Oh boy, yeah whenever a manager told me that I knew I was gonna be in for a very interesting night. For sure, sucks that you had to do that in a mask though. But on the other hand, no customer interaction does sound like it was a nice break in a way. And OMG I snorted!

It’s a good thing we don’t work together, I feel like the jokes wouldn’t have ended. My god I’m still snickering.

And omg, the last line post now has me nervous again because there are multiple options of who is saying whatever it is to whom, and all of them hurt.  XD  Also very here for the idea of a pack of three year-olds trying to pull a Parent Trap on their respective dads.  Is there a treehouse or playhouse they can lock them into to talk?  A moment of Jax and Stiles pointing out that they both agree on this, so they should know that it’s serious?  Trying to make them draw or write down why they’re sad, or whatever similar coping skills the dad usually has the kid use?  Trying to take away a treat of some sort/ground them from doing something/etc until they agree to talk to each other?  So many possibilities.

I do have a bit of an idea to have them go to the cinema with the kids and make them watch the parent trap, which of course leads to all sorts of shenanigans back at home where Allison and Malia are constantly trying to lock the dads in a room together, aided by Derek and Laura because Malia can’t reach the door handles just yet. Meanwhile Stiles and Jackson are coming up with increasingly elaborate schemes for two three-year-olds that involve their dads being locked in tree houses, sheds, and other places. Not to mention, the kindergarten pact.

And I like to think at some point the wives and Melissa start helping the kids as well. I mean I’d really like to build one giant polyamorous family for this fic.

[booksandgalore]

Mirrors of Pride [Yandere!BTS]

Foreword:

Taehyung’s company is enjoyable when he isn’t contemplating about the different shades of black-and-white filters. Sure, he cares too much about the number of likes he has on social media.

And, yes, maybe you have to reject taking pictures of him everytime he hands you his phone, but true friends stay with each other no matter what. You just need to overlook his growing vanity, and ignore all the warning signs when he starts talking about someone non-existent.

Author’s Note:

It’s my first time posting (cross-posting) a story on Tumblr! Bear with me as I navigate how to link, edit my layout, etc. Though if you do have an tips and/or pointers on how I can make my blog look more appealing, haha, then I’ll take them. Do leave a comment if you enjoyed it!

[previous chapter]

2

The professor was changing the PowerPoint slides way too quickly, and even though you had been smashing the keys on your laptop as fast as your muscles could allow, you were left with unfinished bullet points on the topics you’d be tested on.

It seemed like your classmates shared the same sentiment as you. Looking at each other, they pursed their lips yet continued scribbling furiously in their notebooks and typing away.

However, Taehyung, who was sitting next to you, merely had his brow raised before he shook his head, his pencil moving ever so slowly.

You glanced over at his notes. He had hardly written anything! The only thing he had going for him was his outfit, you supposed. He wore a black cross earring on his right ear, and he donned this sort of sweatband on his forehead that pushed his hair out of his face. A plaid shirt was also tied around his waist even though he was sporting a jean jacket. The things he did for fashion.

Wait. You weren’t supposed to be that critical to a friend. Did you just insult him? So what if Taehyung preferred to focus on his clothing choices over something the professor lectured about? It was no big deal. For all you knew, Taehyung could be booking private rooms in the library to study in later, or he could be a photographic memory prodigy in disguise.

Gah, you really just insulted your friend, huh? Rolling your eyes at yourself, you reverted your attention back to the professor.

“And that’s all I’ll be discussing about today. Any questions?” Professor Smith said, scanning the room for any raised hands. “No? Well, that’s all, folks. You’ve got ten minutes left if you want to stay in this class, but I’ll get going now. I will post the slides by tonight.”

This was your karma seeking you out. You deserved this.

Yet shamelessly you grabbed Taehyung’s hand in order to stop him from closing his notebook. You released your grip on him when you saw his widened eyes, the dangling of his cross earring occupying your thoughts for a brief second. It suited him. Scooting closer to him nevertheless, you brought your head down to the paper and reviewed what he copied from the slides, but it wasn’t that much and Professor Smith was notorious for uploading his files a week later.

”Why does this class always make me so nervous?” you exclaimed, handing his notebook back to him. “How do you study, hmm?”

”I book a room in the library, but I usually stay late. Do you need help?”

Wow. How could you have undermined Taehyung’s intelligence just minutes before? You needed to work not on suppressing the materialistic tendencies you had left, but on being a good friend. Feeling the guilt creep up on you, you lowered your gaze while rubbing the nape of your neck. Was this why you had five close friends instead of the twenty diverse friends people seemed to have? You should buy Taehyung a surprise lunch during free hour to make it up to him...though he didn’t need to know the why.

”I’ll just wait for him to post the slides.” You had turned your head in such a way where you couldn’t see him through your peripheral vision as you shoved your laptop into your backpack. “Where are you going to be at free hour?” When your shame deemed that you had enough, you were able to face him once more.

”I’ll be at the Bio building,” Taehyung replied, standing up and slinging his backpack over his shoulder. “Just have to turn in this paper and then I’m done. Want to come with me?”

He smiled at you and suddenly your spirits brightened up a little. You would have to buy him those tacos he liked so much.

You returned his smile back at him. “I’ll just meet up with you at the Commons.”

Taehyung’s smile faltered slightly. “You’re not coming with me? Who will you be with?”

You weren’t sure who you’d be hanging out with in the Commons. Maybe you’d see Jimin and sit next to him if there was an empty spot, considering that the Commons was literally a common campus building where students bought and ate lunch, but then again Jimin was usually with Hoseok and that other friend group. You could always move away once Taehyung texted you, though.

“I’ll be with you,” you assured him. Knowing the words that would soothe his mind, you stated, “Who else would I be with, Taehyung? I don’t have that much friends.” You crossed your arms and sighed dramatically for effect, placating Taehyung’s irrational worries. The amount of times you had to do this....but friendship was different with him.

With everyone.

With Jimin even.

People were people, and people had different personalities, thoughts, aspirations, goals and fears, so it wasn’t wrong to act like this with Taehyung...right?

“Okay,” Taehyung winked, his smile retreating back to its fullest potential, “big brother will take care of you.”  

“Dude, shut up. I’m older than you by one month!” You stood up and walked to the door; holding it open for him, you said, “Ladies first.”

———

“...Jimin,” you whispered harshly, stupefied. “Is that soju I smell from your water bottle?”

“No, it’s vodka.” Jimin sipped a bit of his alcohol before offering it to you, his hand outstretched and eyes glinting with mischief. He was bold but a reckless type of bold and you were still in disbelief from the randomness of it all. Sure, Jimin could down seven shots of whatever mixture you could give him no matter how strong and still come out sober an hour later, but, damn, did the stress of finals week get to him?

You grabbed his “water bottle” and confiscated it inside your backpack. “You’re not getting this back.”

”(Name), it’s Friday. I only had one class today, and I’m done for the rest of the day. Let me live a little!” he whined, stomping his feet which was unlike him to do so. God. How much of these water bottles did he drink?

“Yes, but not on campus. You’re doing this in broad daylight and you could have gotten expelled, Jimin. Expelled!” You frowned at him and raised the level of your voice to convey the gravity of the situation. “What’s gotten into your head?”

Jimin remained silent. Then, he rested his head on your shoulder. Voice quivering, he confessed, “Eve broke up with me and I...I guess I...I mean I—“

”...Jimin,” you whispered, softly this time. “Come on, we know a girl can’t affect you that much.”

“You’re right.” Jimin removed his head from your shoulder and leaned against the wall. “I think it’s the alcohol, but why...why do I miss her so much?”

It was a miracle you guys were in a secluded area inside the Commons where people didn’t frequent as often. You wondered if on-lookers would simply walk away if they saw someone having a mental breakdown, but you speculated that college students were sympathetic with each other, and thus they would help Jimin. This thought comforted you. Jimin wasn’t alone, but Taehyung? Oh, Taehyung kept an arm’s distance from anyone he didn’t personally know. Would he be willing to receive the warmth of a stranger?

It was funny how despite Jimin’s silent tears rolling down his cheeks, you still thought of Taehyung. Perhaps it was because you knew Jimin could handle the hurt, and perhaps because you had witnessed the depth of hurt that Taehyung couldn’t handle. Likewise, the incessant vibrating of the phone in your pocket only served to remind you who needed you more. It had never stopped buzzing from when you first found Jimin in his depressed state. You couldn’t ignore him much longer.

”I’ll text Hoseok to come and get you,” you said, holding his hand. Jimin placed another hand on top of yours, though his eyes were still transfixed on the wall. You pulled away reluctantly to unlock your phone; you had ten messages from Taehyung, and half of his messages were sent on different apps. Ignoring an incoming call, you told Jimin, “Forget about Eve, okay?”

”Who’s Eve?” Jimin laughed, shoulders shaking with each chuckle. The tears on his face hadn’t stopped. “Eve who? Christmas Eve?”

”On second thought, how about I take you back to your dorm?”

“Will you carry me?”

Sighing, you sent a quick text to Hoseok telling him to come to your location. He had responded fairly fast, telling you that he was already near you guys and would be arriving in two minutes.

“You really risked it all and drank on school grounds for a girl?” You rubbed the temples of your forehead, a slight headache starting to form. “Really?”

Jimin continued staring at the wall. There was no response.

“You know better than that,” you said, hoping that this tough love would get through his head. “You’re better than this.”

He started to cry, and he didn’t stop crying even when your heart softened and you gave him a hug he desperately needed. You kept stroking his hair, rubbing his back, and murmuring sweet cheer-me-ups until Hoseok came and assessed the situation. Hoseok had hugged Jimin, and engulfed you in the process. The three of you were in this position for who knew how long, but Jimin’s tears had stopped flowing at one point, his body settling into quiet hiccups before remaining still.

“You should go, (Name). I’ll take care of him,” Hoseok urged you, voice close to your ear. If it were another scenario, you would have blushed.

You nodded, squeezing both Hoseok and Jimin’s shoulders, before heading away, to the person who needed you more.

But why did it feel like you only touched the surface level of Jimin’s troubles? Was it alright to leave? Should you have stayed? Should you have interrogated Jimin and seen if there was an underlying root cause about his sudden impulsivity to drink? Were you a bad friend?

These questions plagued your mind as you spotted Taehyung near an empty table, which was close to your university’s convenience store.

”What took you so long?” Taehyung asked, lips curved downwards. He ruffled his hair, an agitated sigh escaping his lungs. “I was waiting for you.”

”Sorry I was with Jimin. He was having a rough time.” You pulled your chair closer to him. He looked at you from the corner of his eye before resting his arm on the back of your chair. His brows remained furrowed. You figured out a long time ago that Taehyung liked it when you were next to him whenever he was in a bad mood, and since you left him hanging for thirty minutes, especially when you understood the type of person Taehyung was, he was, undoubtedly, in an unpleasant mood.

“Was it that bad?”

“Yes, it was.”

Taehyung scoffed. You glared at him. Even though he had issues which he told you about, what he did was still rude!

”How can it be that bad? Did he cry?” Crossing his leg, he clicked his tongue. “You should have at least texted me about it.”

You should breathe deeply. Friendships differed from person to person.

Understand Taehyung and where he’s coming from, you thought, because he helped you during times when you needed it the most.

“I’m sorry about that, Taehyung,” you said, looking at him in the eyes so he could feel the sincerity of your words. “I mean it.”

Taehyung’s posture appeared to relax, his tight-lipped frown dissolving. “It’s okay. Did you eat yet?”

”Not yet. Did you?”

”No,” He shook his head, “I didn’t.”

”Well, why don’t we buy some tacos from the food trucks outside Greenhill Hall? It’ll be my treat.” You bumped his shoulder in a lighthearted manner.

As you both headed towards your destination, you couldn’t help but stifle a heavy truth weighing inside your mind. You could think about it later. For now, Taehyung was the focus.