#i love pain sowwy

[lesbians4yoohyeon]

we've all established that this is the elmax song (lmfao elmax theme song?) because the lyrics are literally them. especially the "you weren't mine to lose" which would be max's pov about el leaving to california or el's pov about max dying in lucas' arms

[albatris]

well I'm going to the doctor tomorrow to investigate the Mystery Agony

[gojorgeous]

"creature of myth."

pairing: vampire!gojo x fem!human!reader summary: when you receive an offer of marriage from a mysterious wealthy lord, it’s too good a deal for your family to turn down. but nothing could be so perfect... right? content: MDNI (18+  ONLY), dark content, nsfw, gets dubcon/noncon in some spots, yandere behavior from gojo, implied death/k*lling of a character (not reader or gojo), arranged marriage, victorian au, plot that ends with porn lmao, spooky dooky vibes, blood, blood sucking/eating, praise, biting, unprotected sex, creampie, virgin!reader, discussion of virginity, cherry popping, pain, pet names (princess/love), reader is highkey clueless about sex, discussion of masturbation, ideas of masturbation as “sinful”, very minor religious themes, fated “mates”, gojo is highkey insane, coercion and manipulation, like SO much neck kissing, ooc gojo??? (had to alter his character to match a victorian vampire lord LMAO). a/n: PLEASE READ THE CONTENT WARNINGS. THERE IS DARK CONTENT AHEAD. is this a gojo fic or a twilight fic?? Going back to my roots fr fr. straight down to the “SAY IT, SAY IT”. this fic is also way too long my apologies bbs. i hope you like a hefty side of plot with your porn. parts of this fic feel way too cheesy to me but sometimes i eat that up, yk?? this fic was inspired by this amazing work by @rice5x ! and, finally, thank you all for the support on my most recent fics. i'm just getting back into being active on this blog and it's been amazing reading each and every comment/reblog/ask. they genuinely fill me with so much joy. keep them coming hehe. anyway, i hope you enjoy and remember, ALL AGELESS BLOGS WILL BE BLOCKED. credits: dividers by @cafekitsune. banner art by @ndsoda on twitter. wc: 11.6k (sowwy)

You remember perfectly the way your mother’s jaw dropped when Satoru Gojo proposed to you. You’d never seen the man, and you still hadn’t. He’d asked to marry you via messenger, a simple letter delivered by hand with a list of all the things he’d be willing to pay for your hand. Offers of money, land, protection, connection- anything so long as he got you. You’d thought it was a joke. Your father nearly took a shovel to the head of the poor messenger, thinking the letter was some kind of cruel prank, some sort of targeted disrespect. You’d only started to believe when you really looked- saw the Gojo crest embroidered on the man’s suit, the fine leather of his boots. If it was a prank, somebody had spent a great deal of money and effort to pull it off. 

You’d asked for proof nonetheless, and you’d gotten it. Documents signed and sealed with a well-known waxen crest, gifts that could only have been purchased by a wealthy lord. The one thing you never got was the lord himself. He refused to see you, to come down from his mysterious castle on the hill. It didn’t surprise you. He rarely deemed town worthy of his presence. He had a reputation as a recluse, as a man who only ever liked to see and never be seen. What little glimpses people got of him were usually through the dark window of his carriage. Still, his appearance preceded him. White hair, light eyes… “haunting” said those who had the luck to see him. Those who went to work for the lord tended to return… changed— if they returned at all. 

You accepted, of course. How could you not? You were a peasant family with no status or wealth to your name. The promises Lord Gojo had made would make your parents into aristocrats all on their own. But that left you wondering… why did he want you? You offered him no benefit. If anything, you sullied his bloodline. The question scratched at the back of your mind. It came to you while you ate breakfast, while you washed your clothes, while you weeded in the garden. Some part of you told you that you needed the answer before you ever stepped foot in that castle. You needed that answer, but you’d never get it. 

Your wedding wasn’t even a wedding- just a piece of paper that had already been signed and witnessed, once again delivered by a familiar messenger. You signed at your dining room table and… that was that. You were married. 

Later that night the carriages arrive. Men flood your home, all dressed in blue velvet, the Gojo crest embroidered on their chests. They seem puzzled when you tell them you’ve packed all your belongings into a measly three bags. 

You say a quick goodbye to your parents, drawing them into stiff embraces. You love them, and they love you, but you can’t bear to see their faces as they send you away to a man who couldn’t even show his face for your wedding. 

The carriage ride is somehow longer than you’d thought it would be- apparently, the castle’s size makes it seem deceptively close. The trip is rocky and twisty and altogether unpleasant as you steadily make your way toward the castle gates. By the time you reach them you think you’ve probably dozed in and out of consciousness at least half a dozen times. 

The castle is even more intimidating up close. Spires that swirl into the clouds, sculptures that stare, doors that look more suited to being locked than opened. It’s… terrifying. 

When you finally roll to a stop, you move for the door. When you swing it open you get your fair share of strange looks from your attendants and remember that you should have waited for the footman. Your face heats as you climb out anyway, unwilling to subject yourself to the further humiliation of waiting for assistance. 

Your feet hit gravel and all you can do is stare- up, up, up, to where the castle’s peaks disappear into the fog. When your eye flashes to a window on the east side of the manor you think you see a swaying curtain. You tuck your arms around yourself and shiver, but it’s not from the cold. 

You nearly stumble over your feet on your first step inside. The entrance hall is larger than your former house, with ceilings that stretch so high you can hardly make out the figures on the frescoes that adorn it. Silver and blue drape everywhere, the Gojo family colors. You swallow when you see a chair that is most definitely worth more than your family’s annual income. 

The floors are marble and when your worn heels clack against it, you only feel reminded that you don’t belong here. That question pricks in your mind again as you pass portraits of every Gojo heir to have lived in the last three hundred years. Why me? Why me? Why me? 

Your footman deposits you in your room, a place more lavish than you’ve ever seen. You have a four poster bed with a canopy of blue velvet, a window that overlooks a sprawling estate, and more square footage than you’ve ever dreamed of. 

“Pull this if you need any sort of assistance, ma’am.” 

You turn to see your footman referencing a silver cord at your bedside. You assume it’s one of those contraptions that rings a bell in the servants’ quarters. You try to hide your amazement- you’ve never seen one in real life before. 

You clear your throat and give your most ladylike nod. “Thank you, um-” you pause, your brow furrowing. “I’m sorry, I don’t think I asked your name.” 

Your footman appears stunned to silence, like he’d never expected you to care about his existence, much less his name. He recovers quickly, though, and forces a small smile. “Thomas, ma’am.”

You smile and it’s genuine. “Thank you, Thomas.”He bows and makes a beeline for the door, but you have one more question. “Oh, um, Thomas-” He freezes, turning slowly on his heel to face you. 

“Yes, my lady?” 

You cringe at the title. The sound of it creeps across your skin, foreign and… wrong. Why me? Why me? Why me?

You clear your throat again. “Do you know, um, well-” You shift, trying to word your question properly. “Do you know when I might see the Lord?” 

There is a pause, a moment of tension and silence, and then an answer. “No, my lady.”

Thomas does not stick around for more questioning. The door clicks shut behind him and then you're left with only the sound of retreating footsteps. 

You’re stunned to say the least, mouth still halfway open, more questions on the tip of your tongue. Should you seek him out? Was that proper? Would he come to you? Would he meet you for dinner, perhaps? Surely he would come to your room tonight to… consummate. Would that be the first time you lay eyes on him? When he’s over you? 

You sigh. There’s nothing much to be done about it now. You find your way to the bed and sit down hesitantly. It feels like a crime to rumple such primped and polished cotton. You do it anyway- it’s going to happen sometime, right? You fall back against the mattress and don’t fail to notice how utterly comfortable it is. The silvery patterns on your canopy swirl and bend together. You’re tired. You didn’t sleep much last night, anxious for the morning… and it’s only mid-afternoon now. You had time for a nap, right? Your eyes are closing before you can convince yourself it’s a bad idea and then you’re swept away into a world of warm darkness. 

You wake with a start. Your first thought is that it’s dark now. Your room is pitch black except for the stream of moonlight passing through your stupidly large window. Your mouth feels dry and your skin is cold, like you’ve just woken from a nightmare. If you have, you don’t remember it. Perhaps that’s a blessing. 

You sit up, combing a finger through your hair and laughing pitifully when you realize that you left your shoes on as you slept. You hope Thomas didn’t walk in to find you in yet another unladylike position. A glance at the foot of the bed reveals he might have. Your bags have arrived- all three of them. You eye them with a combination of longing and contempt. They don't match this place. They’re worn and used- everything here is shiny and new. Still, they’re all you have, and all you have left of your life before. All you have left of home. 

You stretch your arms above your head, nearly groaning at the burn in your muscles. The carriage ride did your body no favors and you suspect you’ll be sore for many days to come. 

You rise, no longer content to lie in bed. You’ve had your rest and, from the state of darkness outside, you suspect your new husband might be joining you soon. The thought twists a certain tightness into your gut, but you push it aside. If that was the price you paid for all he gave your family… then you’d pay it gladly. 

You start with candles, finding a box of matches at your bedside. You light every candelabra you can find. The room, the castle, seems so perpetually… black- like it soaks up every ray of light it touches. Even when you’ve finished it doesn’t feel like enough. You make a note to ask Thomas for more in the morning. 

You find a meal, carefully prepared and preserved, on a table near your dresser. Judging by the fact that it’s still warm, you conclude that it can’t be much past mid-evening. You originally intend to pick at the food as you unpack, but one bite has your mouth watering. It is the most delicious thing to ever touch your lips, complete with dessert waiting on the side. You clean your plate before moving onto your bags. 

You lay your clothes out on the bed. A few dresses, riding pants, undergarments, an assortment of ribbons and bows. At one time these items had been the finest things you owned- now you owned a castle. 

You find an armoire that looks like a master sculptor carved its edges and grab a dress, intending to hang it. Instead, your dress hits the floor when you part the doors to find the hangers already full. Your lips part. Luxury dresses of silk and satin line the rack, fading into some that appear more casual outfits of cotton and linen. You stretch a hand out, curious and utterly… amazed. To think your new husband had gone to all the effort… Your hand brushes purple silk and- 

“Do you like them?” 

You screech, jumping to face the voice at your back. It takes a moment for your eyes to find him, leaning casually against one post of your bed. Your breath is stolen for a second time. Snow white hair, piercingly blue eyes, pale soft skin… you know who he is even without looking at his dress, at the air of authority he claims. He’s your husband… and he is the most devastatingly beautiful thing you’ve ever seen. 

He laughs, then, and it’s a warmer sound than you’d thought it would be- rich and full. A sound that seeps into your bones and settles in your soul. 

“Sorry. Didn’t mean to scare you,” he says, but the twinkle in his eyes makes you think that perhaps that’s a lie. 

Your heart pounds and your eyes flash to the door. It’s shut. You didn’t hear it open, nor did you hear it close behind him. You also didn’t hear footsteps, didn’t hear breaths, didn’t hear him. 

He follows your gaze and laughs again, though it sounds a bit… strained? 

“I have a habit of being unintentionally lightfooted. I apologize.” 

Your heart is still pounding but you find it in yourself to have some decorum. You snap your jaw shut and bow your head slightly in respect. “You must be Lord Gojo. Forgive me for my insolence.” 

There’s a beat, and then footsteps– ones you actually hear this time. You clench your jaw when he stops before you and then nearly gasp when he takes your hand and brings it to his lips. 

“Satoru, please,” he winks and you think you might stop breathing. “I am your husband after all.” 

You force yourself to nod, to swallow, to act normal. But how can you in the presence of a man that looks like… that? There’s something too unreal about him, too perfect. It’s almost… unsettling. 

“Of course… Satoru.” 

He straightens and shows you a close-lipped smile that digs a dimple into his left cheek. You have to look away to avoid stumbling over your own feet. 

“So, do you like them?” Your brows furrow- “The dresses,” he clarifies. 

“O-oh.” Your features relax into an easy smile. You turn back to your armoire, running a hand along another gown. You don’t think you’ve ever touched something so… finely made. “I like them very much. I don’t know how to thank you.” 

There’s a little chuckle as you turn to face him again and you have to steel yourself before you meet his eyes. He’s mesmerizing, too mesmerizing. You think you could probably lose yourself in those eyes forever… 

“No need to thank me. If they don’t fit, we’ll call for the seamstress in the morning.” 

You nod softly, still lost to the situation. There’s a beat of silence in which your husband does nothing but… look at you. His eyes roam freely and the hair on your arms stands under his gaze. He traces the lines of your nose and jaw and lingers on your pulse. Can he see just how fast your heart is pounding?

“Did you… get dinner?” It’s a stupid question, you know, but you don’t think you can bear another second of that look he’s giving you. “I fell asleep and found a plate. I hope I didn’t prevent a proper meal…” You trail off. Perhaps you shouldn’t have pointed out your own shortcoming? 

He gives you another smile and you swear he inches just a little closer. “You did no such thing. I’m… perfectly satisfied.” 

You nod, glad that he doesn’t seem upset at the very least. Your lips press together, unsure of what to do or say. You’ve never had a husband before. Wasn’t he supposed to just sort of… put you on the bed and… do it?

Your eyes flit to said bed and your husband must see because he hurries to continue. 

“Well, I’ll see you in the morning then, hm?” His eyes flit to your armoire and back again. “Wear the blue dress with the lace to breakfast, yeah? Been dying to see it on you.” He chuckles like he’s just told some sort of amusing joke.

Your brows furrow. That was… not the topic you’d been expecting. “You’re not…” You feel your cheeks heat and tighten your jaw. “Not staying the night?” 

His lashes lower a fraction and those eyes pierce you again. You don’t think you could move even if you wanted to, even with him prowling closer, each step eating up the space between you. He doesn’t stop until you’re nose to nose and you can feel his breath fanning over your cheeks. It’s cold somehow, chilling, and you shiver. He smirks. 

“Not tonight.” 

His head dips and for a moment you think he’s going to kiss you, but then he’s bypassing your mouth altogether and- his lips connect to your pulse. His mouth is cool, just like his breath, and you shiver uncontrollably under his touch. 

His touch is just a fleeting moment, just a wrinkle in time, and then he’s gone. His footsteps are quiet brushes on the hardwood and the creak of the door even seems tamed in his presence. 

“Goodnight,” is all he says, and then he’s gone. 

You climb into your bed an hour later wondering what in the world just happened. 

~  

You do wear the blue dress to breakfast and you can only gape in the mirror when you realize that it fits perfectly. It has you second-guessing yourself. Had you sent your measurements in advance and forgotten about it? No, you’d only sent a handful of pieces of information to the Lord prior to your marriage and you remembered all of them very clearly. Everything had gone through a messenger, everything had been clear and direct– you would have remembered sending your measurements– you didn’t. So had he just… guessed? 

That seemed impossible with how everything fit you like a glove, but it was the only explanation you had. The only one that made sense. 

When you join Satoru for breakfast it’s in a sitting room as lavishly decorated as the rest of the castle, but perhaps organized to be a bit more… liveable. He has no plate in front of him, only a tin cup that hides the contents of whatever he’s drinking. You assume coffee or juice. Perhaps he’s just not a breakfast person. 

“It fits!” he says. His hands clasp together in front of him and he smiles again, dimples and all. 

You nod and fight the heat that bubbles beneath your cheeks as you take your seat. “Yes, perfectly.”

A plate is set before you and a glance up reveals it’s Thomas serving your breakfast. You smile, hoping for some acknowledgement from him, for a small piece of comfort. Instead, you get his averted gaze and quick retreat. Your brows furrow, but before you can say anything, Satoru is back to speaking. 

“I hope Thomas treated you well yesterday?” 

You glance up, but Satoru’s eyes aren’t on you, they’re on your footman. His smile is bright, but it’s anything but friendly. You fight a shiver. 

You glance at Thomas. He’s perfectly still, perfectly straight, but you think you see a muscle clench in his jaw. You clear your throat. “Y-Yes. Thomas was very helpful.” When Satoru keeps staring the boy down you add, “-and very respectful.” 

That seems to satisfy. Satoru breaks his stare and some of the tension in the air instantly eases. He shoots you another dimpled smile, this one with a little more warmth. “Perfect.” 

There’s a beat and then he’s standing, draining whatever he has in his cup and then straightening his jacket. “Well, I have some work to do. I’ll see you for dinner?” He’s grinning again, like it’s so normal for a man to abandon his bride on their wedding night and then again the morning after. All you can do is nod. He chuckles. “See you then, princess.” And then he’s gone.

~

If this is to be your life you don't know how you will survive it. You spend the day milling about. Through the gardens, through the castle, through the stables. Thomas is never far behind, but any attempt at conversation is nipped in the bud by hit shortness. It’s like he fears coming too close. He’s never closer than a couple paces except when he has to bring you something, only to retreat again as soon as possible. The other servants barely pay you any mind apart from giving you a respectful greeting and then immediately averting their eyes. There is no work to be done, no guests to be had, no parties to plan… and no Satoru. You don’t see your husband once on tour around the grounds. You ask Thomas where his office is only for him to vaguely point out a window in the east tower. You don’t see so much as a ripple in the curtains. 

Dinner comes around at the pace of a snail. When it’s finally time to get dressed a lady’s maid whose name you don’t even catch arrives to help you lace your dress. As soon as your corset is deemed tight enough she’s back out the door with a curtsy. Thomas leads you to the dining room and your eyes roam the whole way. Even after having spent the whole day exploring, there are halls and corridors that you’ve yet to step foot in. 

The dining room is just as gorgeous as the rest of the place– filled with singular items that could feed entire families for years. Somehow, you think you’ve already grown accustomed to such things, since the only thing you truly care to look at is your husband. Satoru’s already seated, but he stands when you enter, looping around the table to pull a chair out for you. 

You give him your most genuine smile, accepting a kiss to your knuckles in greeting before you settle. “How was your day?” you ask as he takes his seat again. 

He chuckles. “Perfectly fine. And how was yours, princess?” Your nose crinkles. That’s the second time he’s called you that. Something about it feels wrong. You’re still getting used to being a lady. Princess feels even worse. 

“It was… good.”

You watch a perfect white brow arch in the candlelight. “Oh? Just good?” You don’t miss the way his eyes flicker to the corner– to Thomas. 

You hurry to elaborate. “Well, I just– I can’t help but feel as if there’s not much… use for me.” Servants flood in, some carrying wine, others carrying trays that hold more food than the both of you could ever possibly consume. 

That brow arches impossibly higher. “Use?” His lips crack into that smile again, but it’s tight this time. Too tight. “You have no use. You only enjoy yourself. Surely Thomas has told you that.” 

A plate of steaming food plops in front of you. Even its heavenly smell can’t quell the sudden dread in your gut. “Of course! Of course he did.” Your stomach twists and you decide that perhaps now is not the time to press the subject. “I’ll just… I’ll try riding tomorrow.” You hate riding, but it’s the first thing that comes to mind. 

Satoru’s smile thaws into something less menacing. “I’m sure you’ll enjoy that.” 

You nod eagerly. “I’m sure I will.” 

You grab your fork, eager for a new subject. From what you can tell, dinner is roast chicken and vegetables, though it’s the luxury version as everything seems to be. The spices are intoxicating and the green beans are even arranged in a pretty little pattern that makes them look too good to eat. You do anyway. The first bite nearly makes you moan, but you chew slowly, delicately, trying not to let your upbringing show.

It’s not until several bites later that you realize you’re the only one eating. A quick glance reveals your husband has no platter, no chicken or green beans. He’s only… watching you. You clear your throat, dabbing at your lips with a napkin. 

“You’re not… eating?”

That permanent smile grows a little wider and you can’t help but feel as if there’s something… menacing about it. “Ate before I came.” 

Your brows furrow. “Oh. Were you on the road?” 

You think you see something wild flash in his eyes. “No.” 

The rest of dinner passes slowly, almost painfully. Satoru doesn’t eat a bite, doesn’t even look enticed. You wonder how that’s possible when it smells like a spice bomb went off in the dining room. 

By the time you’ve cleared your plate you’ve discussed everything from the number of horses in the stables to kinds of crops grown on the estate. It’s comforting to know a little more about your new home, but it’s not enough. 

“Is there a library?” you ask. You’re on dessert now. It’s the best chocolate cake you’ve ever had and it takes everything in you to hold back a moan each time it touches your tongue. 

“Of course.” Your husband’s eyes flicker to Thomas again and you’re honestly starting to fear for the poor footman’s life. Everytime you ask a question it’s like Satoru is angry it hasn’t already been answered. “It’s yours to use as you please.” 

You smile lightly. “Perfect. Thank you.” 

He softens a bit at that. “Is there anything specific you wanted to read about?” 

You shrug. “The estate, I suppose. I should know my home’s history, no?”

His eyes get that wild look again, that sparkle that you know speaks to nothing good. “Oh, absolutely. I have some personal favorites to recommend. I’ll leave them aside for you?” 

You swallow and give him a shallow nod. “That would be perfect. Thank you.” 

He chuckles. “My pleasure.” 

When dessert is finally over, you stand slowly. Satoru’s not far behind you, saying he’ll walk you to your room. Your heart leaps at his words. Will he stay with you tonight? 

He offers you his arm in the hall and your mouth runs dry when you feel the corded muscle beneath his jacket. By the time you reach your room, you’re thinking of tugging him in behind you. His denial to stay with you last night was not only confusing, but… off putting. Nearly offensive. Did he not like how you looked? Did he think something was wrong with you? 

You muster all the courage you possess and force your lips apart. “Will you stay with me tonight?” 

His eyes spark again and you hold your breath. He presses closer. This is it, you think. His lips hover over yours, eyes glimmering in the candlelight. And then he dips his head, his mouth pressing to your pulse. 

“Not tonight,” he whispers– and then he’s gone. 

~

You wake suddenly. It’s the middle of the night, you gather. The light streaming through the window is weak enough to only be that of the moon. 

Your heart is pounding and your skin is slick with sweat despite the chill in your bones. A nightmare, you think. It must have been a nightmare. 

As you settle back into your sheets you swear you see a ripple in the darkness. You close your eyes. If your nightmare is real, you’d rather not see it coming.

~

The library is huge. It’s sprawling and smells of paper and leather and everytime Thomas lights a candle you flinch at the idea that one misplaced spark could end thousands of years of knowledge. 

The books Satoru left you are… perfect. Just what you were looking for. They’re all comprehensive volumes of the history of the estate, many of which reference each other. You’re stunned to see that several are written by very well-known authors of both the past and the present. You knew the Gojo family’s influence reached far, but not that far. You peruse the titles. The Gojos: A History, A History of the Gojo Crest, History of the Gojo Castle, Revisiting the Gojo Family: A Comprehensive History. Altogether you have well over a few thousand pages of information– but there’s one book that doesn’t fit with the rest. It’s relatively unassuming. A black cover with some sort of gold rune etched onto its front. When you flip to the title page it reads “Creatures of Myth and Where To Find Them”. Your brows furrow. You slide it to the side– must have gotten mixed in with the others, you think.

~

You ask Thomas to bring the books to your room. He does. Very respectfully. He sets them on your bedside table and then retreats like a kicked puppy with only a polite goodbye. You sigh. His behavior has only gotten stranger in the past few days. You think the servants’ coldness must have something to do with Satoru, but you can’t figure out why. Had he ordered them to stay away? Why would he? 

You decide it’s a question for another day and dive into your books. You spend hours, days, reading every chapter, page, and word. The pure amount of information is dizzying. Apparently this specific estate had been in the hands of the Gojo family since the eighth century (with several razings and consequential rebuilds). You also learn that Satoru was not only the most wealthy lord on the continent, but the most wealthy man. Even wealthier than the king apparently, though that fact was kept fairly under wraps to protect the crown’s ego. The estimates of your husband’s net worth made your head spin.

Satoru joins you for breakfast and dinner every day. You never see him eat a morsel. It’s… unsettling to say the least. It’s always just that tin cup, filled with something you could never quite see. You develop a pattern of waking in the night, too, with the overwhelming sense that something is watching you. Sometimes you could swear you feel the bed shift as you jerk awake. Each time you simply close your eyes and try your best to slow your heart, convinced your mind is playing tricks on you. 

Your days feel a little more productive with a book in your hands, but you’ve read them all three times over by the time a fortnight has passed. You find yourself packing them up to return to Thomas when a certain black cover catches your attention. You grab it from the pile and settle back into your seat. You’ve nothing better to do, right? 

You flip back the cover, revealing a familiar title. “Creatures of Myth and Where to Find Them”. You don’t recognize the author’s name. A quick scroll through the table of contents reveals nothing particularly interesting, but you pick a random chapter on ghouls and decide to start there. 

It’s fascinating. Nothing about the style is boring and the words fly by. Your silly little myth book is a page turner. By the time you notice the light has started dying you’ve read about ghosts, fairies, werewolves, and goblins– all of which have been a delightful little read. A glance at the clock reveals you have a half hour before dinner. One more chapter, you think. Your eyes skim the title. “Vampires [Vampyr]”. 

You skim the first paragraphs until your eyes settle on a line that catches your eye. 

“Contrary to popular belief, vampires are not always crazed blood-hungry monsters. Many live among humans quite comfortably and are able to avoid detection with a little well-placed effort.” 

You purse your lips. What a… terrifying thought. You skim a little further. 

“A vampire’s key characteristic is, of course, their desire and need to drink human blood as sustenance. However, a vampire can be spotted sooner if one is able to recognize their subtler traits. Vampires often have skin lacking any sort of flush. The lack of blood in their veins results in a sickly pallor, even after the most rigorous exercise. Their skin is also noticeably cold to the touch. At best, a vampire’s body will reach room temperature. Vampires can also be noted for their preternatural beauty. They will stand out as the most attractive person in any crowd. Finally, a vampire will have fangs. If one wishes to identify a vampire, one only needs a good look at their teeth”.

A chill settles over your skin. You flip ahead a few pages. 

“Vampires are unable to consume typical human food. Should they attempt to, their bodies will immediately reject any and all foreign substances.” 

Your stomach drops. You don’t want to think about why. You skip the rest of the paragraph. 

“Vampires possess several supernatural abilities that set them apart as a human’s predator rather than their equal. Vampires are known to move unnaturally fast and are notably light footed. If a vampire does not wish to be heard, they will not be. A vampire’s strength is inhuman, well over ten times that of the average man. They also have a penchant for darkness, an ability to hide away in the shadows that cannot be explained. Oftentimes they will seem to appear from thin air.”

You skip ahead again.

“Vampires have been known to take mates. Mates usually come in the form of another vampire, but in some cases a human has been chosen. Vampires are fiercely protective of their mates, bordering on obsession. Any person deemed a threat to their bond or their mate’s safety is usually disposed of quickly. Oftentimes, vampires make these decisions with haste, with little regard for whether or not the threat was real. A vampire will do everything in their power to please their mate, but have been known to forcibly restrain their mates in situations of unrequited feelings. Above all else, vampires wish to possess their mates. Two bonded vampires will sometimes spiral into gloriously destructive fits in their endless desire to protect and possess one another. A vampire bonded to a human will show an increasingly protective nature, often isolating their mate from others.”

Your heart pounds. A bead of sweat rolls down your back. You flip the pages, desperate– desperate for a piece of information that will save you from the thoughts spilling in your mind, from the thoughts you will do anything not to believe. You reach the “Where to Find Them” subsection and nearly gasp with relief. Surely, vampires do not pose as wealthy lords of Europe? 

“Vampires can be found everywhere. They do not exist in only one country or continent, but all over the world. Odds are that you have faced at least one vampire in your life, unknowingly or not. Some vampires choose to live solitary lives, surviving in the wilderness where human society will not attempt to tame their wild nature. Others choose to live among humans, some even existing in positions of very high authority.” 

No, no, no. This can’t be happening to you. It can’t be real. You’re dreaming, you’re having one of those nightmares again. You’re going to wake up any second. 

“One tale recounts a razing of the Gojo estate in the 12th century.” 

You’re panting, hyperventilating. This isn’t happening. 

“Soldiers of the enemy force recounted a singular man, the son and heir of the then Lord Gojo, taking out a minimum of 800 men. He was described as having his family’s characteristic white hair as well as blue eyes. Eyewitness accounts depict the Gojo heir as covered in blood and killing savagely and with inhuman strength.” 

No, no, no. 

“(See next page for only existing portrait)”

Your fingers tremble but you can’t stop them. There’s no way. It’s not possible. 

You flip the page and Satoru stares back at you. 

Knock! Knock! Knock!

You nearly scream. Your door rattles angrily, but you’re not sure you can answer it, not with the knowledge flooding your mind. The knocking continues. You run your hand over your face and smooth down your hair. You feel frazzled, dirty, despite not having moved from your chair all day. Another knock prompts you to set your book aside and stand. You do your best to compose yourself, to put on a straight face. You fail instantly when you pull back the door not to reveal your faithful attendant, not Thomas, but Satoru. 

You bite back a shriek and instead force a smile. You’re suddenly very aware of the blood pounding in you veins and of the fact that he most likely knows. 

“Hello,” he says, but his voice is lower than usually, more intense. 

You force a breath into your lungs. “Hello,” you answer, but it sounds more like a squeak than a greeting. 

Something flashes in his eyes, something familiar, something that is no longer interesting but rather terrifying. “Are you alright? You seem a little… flushed.” The concern on his face feels anything but genuine. 

“I’m fine,” you answer, but even you can tell that reply too quickly, too eagerly. You rush to cover it up. “Is it time for dinner? Where’s Thomas?” 

His lip twitches and you see a muscle in his jaw flex. “Thomas has… left us.” 

No. This wasn’t happening to you. There was no way this was happening to you. 

“He… what?” There’s an unmistakable wobble in your voice that only causes Satoru’s face to fall further. 

“It’s no matter. He’s gone. Now it’s just you and me, hm?” He chuckles and the sound rattles your bones. “In fact, I was thinking I’d cut down on the number of servants we have entirely…” 

You mind races with the memory of knowledge you wish you didn’t have. “Vampires are fiercely protective of their mates, bordering on obsession. Any person deemed a threat to their bond or their mate’s safety is usually disposed of quickly.”

You nearly stumble, but lean against the doorframe just in time. Your husband had disposed of a man, all because he brought you meals and books?

“What have you been up to today, princess?” The question breaks your trance just in time for you to see your husband’s eyes flicker behind you. 

You wet your lips. “Just some reading.” You plead that he doesn’t ask anything further. He does. 

“About the estate?” he asks. 

You nod and try to swallow the lump in your throat. “Yes.”

His smile returns and this time it’s not forced. “You got my books, then?” 

You try smiling back, but you’re fairly sure it looks more like a grimace. “Yes.”

“Anything interesting?” he presses.

This isn’t happening. This can’t be happening. Does he know? Does he know that you know? “Yes, of course. Lots.” 

He pauses and you see the debate and then the decision in his eyes. You think it’s the first time you’ve felt true terror when he meets your gaze again. “I think we should skip dinner tonight. It seems we have so much to discuss.”

You don’t even have the wherewithal to scream when he steps into you, forcing you back until he’s shutting your door behind him. He doesn’t stop there, though. He keeps pressing, keeps pushing until your knees hit the bed and you’re falling to the mattress. He crawls right after you.

“Who knew my little wife was such a reader? All those books in such a short time… You must be simply spilling with information.” 

You retreat across the mattress, squeaking when your back hits the headboard and his arms cage your waist. You’re trapped.

His hands find your hips and you’re all too aware of how cool his touch is. Even more so when he pulls you right into his lap.

“Satoru-” your voice is pitiful, breathless, and you’re ashamed to say it’s not just from the fear in your gut. He’s never been this close before, never touched you, held you like this. “Thomas-” 

“Don’t speak his name.” His face pulls into the first scowl you’ve ever seen and the sight is enough to root you to the spot. Never have you seen anything more frightening. A creature so beautiful, so perfectly angelic, filled with an insurmountable rage. It’s wrong. “He’s gone. He’ll never bother you again.” He’s closer now, his breath skating over your skin. It’s cool and now you know the reason why. 

You shake and tremble and you know– Thomas is dead. Your husband killed him– killed him for getting too close when all he did was stay at a distance. Satoru killed him. Killed him. 

He buries himself in your neck, his voice a near whine. “Thought I could put up with it, just so you’d have someone to take care of you…” He groans. “I was so wrong, princess. Couldn’t stand it. Couldn’t stand the way you smelled more like him than me…” 

You feel him melt against you then, relief washing over his body in a wave. “But he’s gone. And now it’s just you and me, hm? Just you and me…” He hums, like remembering that fact is all he’s ever needed.

He’s kissing your pulse again, now, and your heart is racing faster than ever. Your fingers curl into his shoulders. You should push him away, away, away. He’s a killer, of thousands no doubt. You’ve never felt at home here, never felt like you belonged. This is why. You’re not even the same species. He’s something else, something your hands were never meant to touch. 

Your mind screams at you to do go, to shove and kick at him and leave this place behind. Go, go, go your gut says… but you don’t. You can’t. It’s too… good. The feeling of his cool lips against your skin, of what you’re sure is his tongue prodding at your pulse… it’s intoxicating. He is intoxicating. How could anyone blame you for wanting more of someone, something, so divine? 

“Have you figured it out yet, love?” Your breath hitches and he chuckles, licking a long stripe up your neck, before he settles back at your pulse. Always your pulse. “I can feel those little gears turning. Tell me, what have they discovered?” 

He knows you know. But he’s going to make you say it. You swallow and feel his grip on you tighten. “You’re…” Your breaths come faster. You can’t. Not aloud. Aloud makes it too… real. 

“Yessss?” he prods. He’s licking at you again, all the way across your throat to find your other pulse-point. 

“You’re not…” Something sharps nicks at your skin and you bite your lip to hold back a whimper. 

“Go on, princess.” You think he’s just smelling you now, just burying his face as close to you as possible and taking you in. 

You close your eyes tightly, holding back tears. “Not human,” you breathe. A piece of you breaks with the admission.

He huffs a little laugh against your skin and pulls back to look you in the eye. “That’s good,” he purrs. “But I think you can be a little more specific, no?” His lips press to your chin, then the corner of your mouth, then down to your jaw… “Tell me.” 

Your lips wobble, muscles clenching tighter with each passing moment. You don’t want to say it, don’t want to speak it into existence, but you also don’t dare to disobey him. 

“You’re a…” You shake and tremble. He draws a line up your neck with the tip of his nose.

“Mhm?” 

You open your eyes, thinking this might be the last time you see. “Vampire.” 

He chuckles and you feel his teeth press to the skin of your neck. “That’s right, princess. So smart.” 

He smiles and you suddenly realize you’ve never seen his teeth before. Everytime he smiles at you it’s close-lipped and dimpled. But this… this is the smile of a predator– all white and pointy and fitted with a set of menacingly long fangs. You sob at the sight. 

“Shhhhh,” he coos. He has your chin in his hand, forcing you to truly look at him, to see him for what he is. “I won’t hurt you, love.” You want to believe him so badly it burns, but his laugh washes away any fire and turns it to ice. “Not unless you want me to.” He wiggles a brow like it’s just a little joke, like he’s not an actual fucking vampire that had his fangs over your neck just moments ago. 

“Satoru,” you beg. You’re not sure what you’re begging for. Release maybe? But, no, that’s not right. You don’t want him to let you go, not when you finally have him close after all this time. “Why did you pick me?” 

The question slips out. You hadn’t even been thinking about it, hadn’t even noticed it scratching at the walls of your mind, but it made its way out nonetheless.

His brow creases, but not in confusion. Moreso in… thoughtfulness. “Do you think about that a lot, princess?” 

You nod and you suddenly want him closer, want him to touch you everywhere, hold you like his life depends on it. You want him, no matter how horrible it might be. 

He nods and hums, kissing the tip of your nose lightly. “Well…” he says. His thumb swipes over your lips when he leans in to whisper in your ear. “At first I wanted you for this.” His head dips to your neck again and you feel the familiar brush of his lips against your throat. “You smell…” he chuckles. “Like heaven. Which is a place I’ll never get to on my own, so I had to bring my own little slice home, no?” He laughs again, a little louder this time, genuinely amused. “Went into town one day and caught your scent on the street. At first I thought I must be walking past the bakery, but, lo and behold, there was no baker in sight.” He’s still kissing at your pulse, worshiping it. “Went crazy, princess. Didn’t think I was going to be able to contain myself when I found you. Thought it might be quite the scene.” He huffs a laugh and you shiver, somehow both terrified and intoxicated. “But then I saw you–” he groans and something clenches deep at your center. “And I knew I needed more than just your blood. Needed you.” He’s rocking into you now, and your breath catches when you feel something firm against your backside. “Went to you in that little room you slept in every night. Watched you. Couldn’t stay away. Knew I had to have you.” You feel him smile against your skin. “After a week I couldn’t take it anymore. Sent you that letter, married you. Made you mine.” He groans again. “Then I met you and you were so pretty, princess. Already knew it, but hearin’ you talk to me, look at me.” Teeth graze your pulse. “Needed you more than ever. Almost took you right on the fucking floor in here while you were lookin’ at those dresses.” You whine when his hips roll into you again. “Oh, but I knew I couldn’t. You’re so fragile, love. Had to wait, had to make you feel safe, yeah? Spent all this time forcing myself to stay away, ‘fraid of what I might too if I was in your presence too long. Had to control myself. Had to make you realize you could trust me.” He panting, like he’s so pent up he can hardly sit still. “Do you trust me, princess?” 

Your brows scrunch. Say no, say no, say no a part of you screams. Run, run, run. You can’t. “Yes,” you breathe. 

You feel him smile again, feel the pleasure of submission. “Good girl.” 

You’re on your back. It happens so fast your eyes don’t even have time to gasp. You don’t see Satoru, but you feel him. Everywhere. His hands are roaming your body softly, sliding under buttons and laces and popping them off. Your dress loosens with every passing moment until Satoru reappears above you, diving straight for your neck again. “So good, princess. Let’s get you out of this dress, yeah?” 

You nod wordlessly, entranced. He finds your mouth as he rids you of your clothes. His tongue presses in and you flail against him, unsure of what to do, of how to handle the intrusion. The kiss is heavy, too heavy, but Satoru can’t seem to stop. He devours you as he gives up on laces and buttons and simply shreds your dress down the back. You tremble when the cold air hits your skin, when his cool fingers dust your collarbone. 

“I always forget how many damn layers they make you ladies wear,” he chuckles. His hands run beneath your shift, up across your bare thigh. You gasp at the touch. No one has even been so close to you before. You feel the threads of your corset snapping away, feel your breaths growing deeper. You tremble when he pulls your sleeve down past your shoulder and runs his mouth along the newly exposed skin. 

“Satoru,” you gasp, and your hand pulls at his flowing white shirt. 

He chuckles, pulling back just enough to see your face. “You wanna see me too?” You nod, lips parted and eyes glassy, and he laughs again. He lips dust over the corner of your mouth. “Alright.” 

His hands shift from you to himself, working at the laces on his chest. His movements are speedy, practiced, like he’s been lacing and unlacing shirts for hundreds of years. Your throat tightens when you realize that he has. 

You gasp when he reveals himself, when his shirt slides away to reveal an expanse of pale skin and carved muscle. You’ve never seen a man like this and seeing one this close up for the first time is nearly blinding. He’s art, you think- nothing less. 

“Touch me, princess,” he says. You can’t. You shouldn’t. He’s too beautiful, too perfect to be beneath your insignificant hands. “Need a little help?” he asks, and there’s a lilt in his voice that makes you sure he’s grinning. 

His hands find yours and bring them to his chest, running your palms over his collarbones, his pecs, down, down, down across his abs that you can feel each and every one… You whimper, watching your own fingers grope his skin. He pulls you lower, lower, lower, and you gasp when your fingertips brush the waistband of his pants. But then he’s laughing again and he’s throwing your arms over his shoulders and pulling you closer, kissing your neck like it pained him to be parted from your pulse for so long. 

“Not so fast,” he says, like he wasn’t the one nearly stuffing your hands down his pants. His hands are on your corset again. You can feel it dangling onto you by a thread, literally. All he needs is a couple more pulls and you’ll be bare. By the look he gives you, you can tell he’s 

thinking the same thing. “You touch me, now I touch you, yeah?” There’s a tug and a tear and then so much… cold. You’ve never realized how cold this castle is, not until you’re exposed to its elements fully. You’re naked. 

Satoru sits back on his knees and just watches. His gaze is searing, burning, despite the iciness of his being. It’s too much. Your hands move to cover yourself, to maintain some modicum of your dignity- 

“No.” Strong hands find your wrists and pry them apart. “Let me see you,” he says. His tongue darts out to lick his lips. 

Your jaw clenches and your frame shakes, but you do as he asks, letting your hands fall limply at your sides. There’s silence for many more moments and it seems to go on so long that you can only squeeze your eyes shut under his gaze. Surely he will turn you away now, get up and leave, tell you this was a mistake, tell you that you’re– 

“Beautiful,” he breathes. Your eyes snap open to find him already staring at you. “Beautiful,” he says again, and then he’s on you, lips at your pulse, hands on your skin. His touch is cool and you squeak at the chill that runs up your spine. You’re not sure it’s entirely from his temperature. 

His mouth seeks yours and he devours you. You feel as if he’s sucking your soul out through your lips. “Tell me you’ve never done this before,” he begs. “Tell me I’m the first to touch you.” 

You whine against his mouth, both aching for more and overwhelmed by what he’s already giving you. “Y-You’re the first,” you whisper. 

His groan is deep, primal. It rattles through your chest and you whimper when his hands dig into your waist hard enough to bruise. “Yes,” he breathes, and you shiver again. “Lie back, princess.” Your eyes widen, with anticipation or fear you’re not sure. Probably both. He chuckles. “Don’t worry. I’ll be gentle.” 

You pray he means that. “Just relax, love. Here, hold my hand.” His fingers find yours, twining them together. When you swallow, his eyes follow the bob of your throat. He leans back again and your body twitches when his free hand skims the skin of your thighs. His tongue darts out to wet his lips as he finds your knees and you gasp when he parts your legs, revealing you so completely to his gaze. The way he stares, like he’s committing you to memory, it’s nearly enough to make you snap your thighs shut, but a squeeze from his hand reminds you to relax, to trust. 

His palm skates up your thigh and settles near your hip, his fingertips inching closer to where you can feel an embarrassing throb. 

“Tell me, love. Have you ever touched yourself here?” His fingers dust low on your tummy- just low enough for you to catch his meaning, but not low enough to give you any relief. Your face heats and your teeth dig into the flesh of your cheek. You have, you have touched yourself there, but it’s the last thing you want to admit to your new husband. It’s shameful, it’s dirty, it’s- “Don’t think I’ll judge you, princess. Just wanna know.” 

You gulp down a breath. You should come clean. “Y-yes,” you stutter, and the sound of your voice so weak and helpless only makes you flush further. 

He chuckles and squeezes your hand again. “On the outside or the inside?” 

Your eyes widen. I-inside? You’d never considered that… “J-just the outside,” you answer. 

Your eyes grow even wider when his head rolls back and he moans straight up to the ceiling like your answer is heaven-sent. When he looks back to you his fangs are on full display. “Well, I think you and I are in for a little treat today, hm?” 

Your brow furrows and your lips part to ask him what he means– his fingers travel those last few inches down your tummy and find your clit. You squeak and jolt so violently that he presses a hand to your hip, holding you to the mattress. “Somebody’s sensitive,” he chuckles. He holds you still for a moment and then lets your hips go free. “Try to stay still. I promise it’ll feel good.”

You nod hopelessly, but this time you’re prepared for when he touches you again. Your muscles clench at the first touch, at the foreign sensation of a touch down there that wasn’t your own. But then it’s more. It’s languid, slow circles around a spot that you’ve never been able to pinpoint so well on your own. It’s heat building in your tummy that seeps through every vein and into every pore. It’s relaxation that you’ve never known, that has you melting into the mattress despite the chill of the touch. 

There’s a little huff of a laugh and then his voice. “Good girl. Feels nice, yeah?” You nod hesitantly and squeeze desperately at his hand, searching for an anchor. His head cocks to the side and you watch the smile slide across his lips. “It’s about to feel even nicer.” 

By the time you realize what he’s doing it’s far too late to stop him. His mouth closes around your cunt and you yelp, trying to wiggle away from the overwhelming sensation- but he’s got his freehand on your hip again and his grip is bruising, punishing, as he holds you in place. He licks a stripe through your folds and you find yourself jolting again, uselessly so against the pressure of his palm on your hip. “Stop that, princess.” Your heart drops at the admonishment until you feel his guiding touch. “Rock into me like this.” His hand rocks your hips into his mouth and the pressure of his tongue against your clit is so delicious that you whimper. “Good girl,” he says and your heart rises right back up. “Keep doing that, now.” You don’t dare defy him. You rock like he showed you, a little jerkily at first, and then you find a rhythm that has you seeing stars. “That’s it, love,” he says, and the sound is muffled against your cunt. “Here, put your hand in my hair.” He finds your wrist and guides you forward until your fingers are tangling in those snowy locks. They’re even softer than you’d imagined. “Good girl,” he whispers and suddenly he’s taking one last long lick and lifting his head to meet your eyes. “‘M gonna put my fingers in you now, princess.” Your chin wobbles. “It might hurt a little bit, but stay still, okay?” You can’t do anything but nod. 

His eyes return to your cunt and you can feel him prodding at your entrance, circling the hole as you clench in anticipation. “Relaaaaaax, love,” he says and you nod. A deep breath in through your nose and out through your mouth– 

You feel the exact moment he pushes into you and a whine of pain rips from your throat. Your walls clamp down like a vice, angry at the intrusion– but it’s already too late. There’s a beat of silence, of anticipation, and then he’s– laughing? 

Your brows furrow when you hear it, your head lifting to a sight that locks your limbs in shock. Satoru’s hand is lifted in front of his face, his pointer finger coated in– blood, you realize. Your blood. And he’s a fucking vampire. 

“Oh princess,” he coos, and the manic look in his eyes makes you tremble. “You really are perfect.” 

Things seem to slow as you watch him take his blood covered finger into his mouth. You’re sure you’ve never seen an expression more blissful, more lost to sensation. His eyes roll back and his body shivers, like he’s ascending to some higher plane. Maybe he is. 

When he pulls his finger from his mouth it’s completely licked clean. You hold your breath. He’s going to go for your neck now, right? He’s had a taste and now he’ll want more of it, all of it?

“Fuck,” is all he says. His mouth is back on your cunt so fast you don’t even see him move. 

Your mouth falls wide. It hurts, the way he is so desperately licking at you. You feel his finger again, pressing in, in, in, only to pull back and suddenly be joined by another. The stretch tears at you. You thrash and jolt, but Satoru doesn’t bother telling you to stop this time. His arm wraps over your hips, holding you in place. He seems immune to how hard your legs squeeze at his head or your hands pull at his hair. He’s lost. You can feel him licking, lapping, and prodding at you like you’re a fucking gold mine. He’s lost to desperation, to the need for more, more, more. Every so often he lifts his chin and you see his mouth smudged with a mixture of your wetness and your blood. He laps at his lips like an animal, dragging his thumb across his chin and sliding it into his mouth to make sure he gets every last drop. 

You’re not quite sure when the ravenous pain turns to a ravenous pleasure, when it turns from terrifying to downright delicious. You don’t notice your moans filling the air until Satoru joins you, groaning and whining into your cunt and telling you to keep going, to keep making those sounds. The hand you have buried in his hair doesn’t fight to push him away any longer, only to pull him into those now practiced rocks of your hips. His fingers thrust deep, curling into a spot that makes you feel so good and his mouth has found your clit again. He sucks your nerves lightly between his lips, tongue swirling in little circles. Your thighs start to shake. 

“Yes. Yes. Give it to me.” 

“S-Satoru–” you breathe. Warmth and tightness pool in your tummy, and you recognize it as your approaching orgasm, though you know this one will be far different than any you’ve ever managed to give yourself. Your body shakes and your breaths tremble and then– you fall over the edge, rocking your hips senselessly, losing all form of rhythm. Warmth tingles in your spine and seeps all the way down to your toes. You think you cry out, cry for your husband, cry for more, cry for less, but if you do you don’t hear it. All you hear is the pounding of your pulse, of pleasure throbbing in your veins until the world slowly seeps back in through the corners of your vision. 

Satoru is grinning. A speck of your blood clings to his chin and his fangs peek out from behind his lips. The sight makes your blood run a little colder. If any part of you doubted what he was before… well, there was no doubt any longer. 

There’s a shift between your legs, his hips slotting between them, and you’re suddenly snapped back to reality. From the look in his eyes, you’re not done. 

Frantic hands find his pants and he undoes each button with a quickness that is almost inhuman. You wonder if he could go even faster, if he’s holding back so as not to scare you. If he is, it isn’t working very well. Fear surges in your veins right alongside anticipation. 

“S-Satoru–”

“It’s alright, love.” His hand finds yours without his eyes ever looking up. His grip is just a little too firm, a little too cold. “Just stay still.” 

You whimper, but you don’t think he’s paying attention to that, and soon enough, neither are you. His pants slide down just past his hips, just enough. You gasp. 

You’ve never seen a man in the nude, never even dared to think about what it might look like, though it seemed you no longer had to guess. His hand wrapped around his shaft, giving one long and slow stroke that made his breath hiss through his fangs. The tip was flushed, angry, and leaking something that looked clear and sticky. You couldn’t help but notice it was a lot thicker than a finger, or even two. If his fingers had hurt…

He moves with that alarming quickness again, leaning down to hover over you, chests nearly pressed together. “Gonna take you now, princess. Gonna make you mine.” His eyes bore into yours, blue and shimmering with something wild. His hand presses into the mattress beside your head. “Stay still, now.”

It’s all the warning he gives you. You feel like you’re splitting– straight up the middle. You wail, hands flying out to claw at his back. It hurts. It hurts. 

“Satoru, p-please! It’s–” 

Lips catch yours– hungry, feral. The kiss is not gentle, not soothing. It shuts you up, it keeps you quiet, it keeps you still as you feel him sinking further, deeper into you. It’s too much, you try to say, but the poke of sharp teeth against your lips keeps you silent. Your hips jolt and wiggle trying desperately to escape the stretch but it’s no use. By the time he’s fully inside you, tears are streaking down your cheeks, fat and heavy. His lips break away and his eyes reappear. You shake when you see that none of the wildness has been tamed, that you’ve only just begun.

“Good girl,” he coos, and a cool finger traces a line across your jaw. “Took me so well.” You hold back a sob when his hips shift a little, testing, prodding. He must see the pinch of your eyes, the twist of your mouth, because he’s quick to comfort. “Just hold my hand, princess.” His hips rock in earnest this time and you whimper, squeezing down on his hand with all your might. You’re panting as he chuckles. “Breathe, love. Breathe. Soon you’ll be begging for more,” he laughs. It’s not long before he’s rocking into you sincerely, setting a pace that stretches you to the brink of breaking. At first it’s all you can do to grasp onto him, to bite your lips through the whimpers and hold his hand. And then it’s… more. It’s heat and warmth despite the coolness of his body on yours. It’s sensation and… pleasure. He laughs when the first moan slides past your lips, burying his face in your neck once again. You hear him at your ear, panting his hot breath across your skin. 

“Feel good, princess?” You nod, letting your hips rock against his as he showed you before. It feels good– it feels right. He chuckles, but there’s nothing light about the sound. “Wanna feel even better?” Something sharp pokes at the skin of your neck, hard enough to make you squeak, to make you freeze at what you know he wants. 

He pulls himself back, pressing his forehead to yours, searching your eyes with his. Something like a cruel smile dances on his mouth. “Just a taste, love. I promise it won’ hurt.” His tongue darts out and licks across your lips, his thrusts rocking just a bit faster. “You’ll feel s’ good an’ I’ll only take a little.” He laughs again and it sends a chill through your bones. “Promise.” He sounds breathless, like he’s struggling to restrain himself. The increase of his pace makes you whine and you squeeze his hand again. He buries himself back in your neck, panting. “Come on, love. Say yes. Say yes f’ me.” Your eyes glaze over. Your body justles with each new thrust. He’s desperate now, seeking a release that you don’t think is any kind you’re familiar with. “Yes, yes, yes,” he chants in your ear. You’re not sure when his words twist in your mind, when they settle on your tongue and push past your lips, but you know it feels so right when they do. 

“Yes,” you whisper. 

His fangs clamp around your pulse. You scream when the sting rips through you, violent and savage– but it only lasts a moment. Pain fades to… ecstasy. You feel his throat bobbing with each swallow, feel your blood seeping from your skin and onto his tongue. You’d thought it would feel slicing, draining, like the life was being sucked from you. It doesn’t. It feels wonderful. Heat spreads under your skin, emanating from your neck and down to your toes. It feels like breathing for the first time, like sugar being pumped into your veins. It feels like heaven. Your hand tangles in his hair, holding him close. You don’t want it to stop, not ever. You could die like this, have him suck every last drop of blood from your veins and thank him for it with your dying breath. 

He’s moaning now, hands curling into your hips while he fucks into you relentlessly. The pace is grueling and brutal. You know it should hurt but only feels perfect. Anything less would not be enough. Anything else would leave you wanting. You feel it building, feel that familiar twinge at your core. The ecstasy flooding through your veins has it coming faster, has you teetering on the edge in moments. 

“Satoru…” You hadn’t noticed how dizzy you felt until you tried to speak. You wonder why… “‘M gonna…” 

He fucks you harder, something menacing and deep rumbling in his chest. The sound makes you shiver, makes you whine, makes you come. 

Your body shakes and a cry rips from your throat, cunt clenching like a vice around him. Your eyes roll back, hands scraping trails down his back. Your thighs quake with the intensity, with the overwhelming senses of pleasure that erupt throughout your body. Every nerve is firing, every hair rising. It’s an unstoppable current, one that sweeps you away, helpless to its pull. 

His thrusts grow sloppy and untimed. His grip on your hips tightens, holding you in place while he makes you his. His teeth break from your neck and when you look up through blurry eyes you see his head thrown back, your blood streaming down his chin in thick little globs. You feel it when he cums, feel the thick ropes of it seeping into your womb, feel the way he keeps fucking you, pushing it deeper and deeper inside. He’s moaning, chanting your name like a prayer at the heavens. 

When the moment ends he slumps over you, eyes half lidded and tired. There’s a familiar grin on his lips, one that inspires both comfort and uneasiness in your gut. You can’t help but stare at him, at the blood that stains his chin and cheeks, that reddens his lips so beautifully. You want to reach out and touch him, touch his blood-soaked skin and see what it feels like, what it tastes like. What you taste like. 

His eyes slide to the side, finding your pulse again. You groan. Yes, you think. Please, yes. More. You don’t think you’ll ever get enough of that. Of his teeth in your flesh, of the euphoria flooding your veins. More, more, more, your mind chants. 

He chuckles lightly and shakes his head. “No, princess.” He raises a finger to trace the curve of your neck. “I took more than I should have…” His expression doesn’t tense with worry. His cheeks pull into a smile, those little dimples shining through. “But what can I say? You just taste so good.” Like he needs to emphasize his point, his tongue darts out to trace his lips, lapping up some of the remaining blood on his chin. “You taste like mine.”

You whine. More, more, more. It’s all you can think about. You lift an arm weakly. You want to pull him to your neck, to make him drink, to make him fill you with the heaven you had just moments ago. 

He catches your wrist and brings it to his lips, inhaling deeply. His lips split into another grin and you see his eyes spark again with the wildness you crave. 

“Not yet, princess.” he coos. “But soon.” His smile grows even wider, until those fangs are on full display, until you’re trembling again. “Forever,” he whispers.

taglist (dm me or send an ask to be added!): @lacheri, @la-undercover-latina, @keiva1000

please consider leaving a comment, sending an ask, or reblogging! interacting with authors is the best way to support them! thanks for reading ♡

[bionic-penis]

Erm !! Lil rant in da tags bc !! Erm !!

[angstandhappiness]

NEAT NEAT NEAT

DOODELS

[br0kenangel]

𓈒ㅤׂㅤ 𓇼 ࣪ 𝐂𝐑𝐘𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐁𝐎𝐘 𓈒ㅤׂㅤ⭒⠀

꒰͡ ⠀ ִ 𝐵𝑎𝑏𝑦 𝐴𝑒𝑔𝑜𝑛 𝑥 𝑊𝑖𝑡𝑐ℎ 𝑅𝑒𝑎𝑑𝑒𝑟 ⠀ׂ ⠀ ͡꒱

♡ㅤ𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘧𝘰𝘶𝘯𝘥 𝘩𝘪𝘮 𝘤𝘳𝘺𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝅄ㅤೀ

˚꒰♡꒱‧ Hi there! Before you read this, you should know that English is not my first language. Hope you enjoy!

The corridors were unusually quiet, with only the distant hum of conversation echoing through the stone walls. You had been wandering, lost in thought, when a sharp, unexpected sound reached your ears. A loud, ringing slap followed by a pained cry made your heart leap in your chest. You hurried towards the source, dread pooling in your stomach. As you reached the end of the corridor, your worst fears were realized. Aegon sat on the floor, his tiny body trembling as he let out soft, hiccuping sobs. His silver curls were a tousled mess, sticking to his tear-soaked cheeks, which were flushed a rosy pink from crying. His big, round eyes, were filled with tears that clung to his long lashes before spilling down his face. His little mouth was turned down in a quivering pout, making his whole face scrunch up in a way that was heartbreaking. As soon as he saw you, Aegon let out a desperate little whimper and reached up with his chubby arms, his fingers wiggling for you to pick him up. "P’etty!" he cried out, his voice tiny and filled with the raw, innocent emotion of a toddler who just wanted comfort. "P’etty, up! Up, p’ease!" His words were mixed with hiccups, making his plea sound even more pitiful.

You didn’t hesitate for a second. Scooping him up into your arms, you felt his little body immediately press against yours, his tiny hands clutching onto your gown as though he never wanted to let go. "Oh, my sweet Aegon," you murmured, cradling him close and rubbing soothing circles on his back. "I’m here, darling. I’m here." He looked up at you, his tear-filled eyes filled with a mix of confusion and pain. "M-Mummy... Mummy hit Aegon," he whimpered, his voice trembling as he struggled to make sense of the situation. Aegon snuggled his tear-streaked face into the crook of your neck, his warm breath coming in uneven puffs against your skin as he tried to calm down. "M-Mummy mad..." he whimpered, his voice muffled and shaky. "Aegon not bad... Aegon sowwy, P’etty… sowwy..." His words were so soft and slurred that you had to strain to hear them, each one pulling at your heartstrings. Your heart ached as you gently rocked him back and forth, pressing kisses into his soft, silver curls. "Shh, it’s okay, Aegon. You’re not bad, my love. You’re the best little boy in the whole world," you whispered, your voice full of warmth and reassurance. "I'm here now. No more tears, okay?" Aegon nodded against you, though his little body continued to tremble. His tiny hands, warm and soft, clung to you with surprising strength for someone so small. "P’etty stay with Aegon?" he asked, his voice breaking with a mixture of hope and fear. "No go? P’etty stay?" “I’m not going anywhere, sweetheart,” you promised, squeezing him gently as you rocked him. “I’ll stay right here with you.” Aegon sniffled, his little nose wrinkling as he tried to stop crying. "P’etty love Aegon?" he asked in the sweetest, most tentative voice, as though he needed to hear it just one more time to believe it was true. "More than anything in the whole world," you whispered, feeling your heart swell with emotion. "I love you so much, Aegon. Always." Aegon’s cries slowly began to subside as he snuggled against you, finding comfort in your presence. “P’etty good,” he said softly, his little voice filled with a hopeful trust. “Aegon love P’etty.” Your heart melted at his words. You hugged him tighter, feeling the warmth and love of his tiny frame against you. “I love you too, Aegon,” you said, your voice thick with emotion. “More than anything.” As you gently rocked Aegon in your arms, his little body trembled with the remnants of his sobs. His tear-streaked face was tucked against your shoulder, but you could feel him trying to calm down, clinging to you with his chubby hands. You kissed the top of his head, your heart breaking for the little boy who seemed so lost and sad. "Aegon, sweetheart, can you tell me what happened?" you asked softly, your voice full of concern and love. Aegon sniffled, his big, tear-filled eyes looking up at you, full of confusion and hurt. "M-Mummy… Mummy mad," he whispered, his small voice trembling as he tried to explain. "Aegon want to play… with Mummy… she no no no…" he said as he shake his head left and right.

You nodded gently, encouraging him to continue. "And what happened then, darling?" you asked, brushing a tear from his rosy cheek. Aegon’s lower lip wobbled, and fresh tears welled up in his eyes. "Aegon ask again… and Mummy hit Aegon," he said, his voice breaking as he recalled the moment. His little hands clutched your gown tightly, seeking comfort. "Aegon not bad… Aegon just want to play…" Your heart ached as you held him closer, rubbing soothing circles on his back. "Oh, Aegon, you’re not bad, darling," you whispered, your voice thick with emotion. "You just wanted to play, and that’s okay. You didn’t do anything wrong."

Aegon sniffled again, his face scrunching up as he tried to hold back more tears. "M-Mummy said… she said Aegon bad…" he stammered, his voice shaking. "She… she hate Aegon…" The words cut through you like a knife, but you kept your focus on comforting the little boy in your arms. "She said that?" you asked gently, trying to keep your voice steady. "Oh, Aegon, my sweet boy…" Aegon nodded, his small body shaking with fresh sobs. "Aegon don't want Mummy mad… Aegon want her to love him… play with him…" he whimpered, burying his face in your shoulder as he cried. "Aegon want Mummy happy…" Tears stung your eyes as you held him tighter, kissing his silver curls. "Aegon, you are so, so loved," you whispered, your voice full of warmth and reassurance. "You are a wonderful, sweet boy, and it’s not your fault. Sometimes people say things they don’t mean, but that doesn’t make them true. You are not bad, and you are loved more than you can ever know." You held him close, feeling his small body relax in your arms as his tears finally dried. As you began to hum a soft lullaby, Aegon’s eyes grew heavy, and soon he was fast asleep, his little face peaceful and serene against your shoulder. Even in sleep, his tiny hand remained wrapped around your gown, as if to make sure you were still there.

𝐓𝐚𝐠 𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭 – @naslt @bogbutteronmycroissant @radiantdanvers @dracaryxzs @writtenbyhollywood @danytar

@ 𝒃𝒓𝒐𝒌𝒆𝒏𝒂𝒏𝒈𝒆𝒍 𝟐𝟎𝟐𝟒. 𝒅𝒐𝒏'𝒕 𝒄𝒐𝒑𝒚, 𝒓𝒆𝒑𝒐𝒔𝒕 𝒐𝒓 𝒕𝒓𝒂𝒏𝒔𝒍𝒂𝒕𝒆 𝒂𝒏𝒚 𝒐𝒇 𝒎𝒚 𝒘𝒐𝒓𝒌𝒔 𝒉𝒆𝒓𝒆 𝒐𝒓 𝒂𝒏𝒚 𝒐𝒕𝒉𝒆𝒓 𝒘𝒆𝒃𝒔𝒊𝒕𝒆𝒔.

[sugudoe]

⋆ ˚ ཐིiཋྀ ˚ ⋆ 𝗟𝗘𝗧 𝗠𝗘 𝐈𝐍𝐊 𝗬𝗢𝗨 ── ✎ ₊· 𝗷𝗷𝗸

✶ 𝐬𝐮𝐦𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐲: in desperate need of a skin, you, a talented beginner tattoo artist, decides to test your partner and his love for you in a comical way — “ can i tattoo you ? ’’

✶ 𝐚. 𝐧𝐨𝐭𝐞: i’ve been drawing for a couple of days now, and this is inspired by my sibling ( a tattoo artist ) and their influence on me, cause i too wish i could tattoo myself whenever i’m bored. ALSO i know we all see geto as tough but i had to!! and nanami surprised even me but the vision is visioning, you can not deny. I KNOW you can’t do many tattoos in one setting but please it’s just for plot. divider by: @cafekitsune

✶ 𝐬𝐲𝐥𝐥𝐚𝐛𝐮𝐬: fluff / crackfic / smau with writing / reader has no gender / english is not my first language / there is mistakes because the app beat my ass sowwy / mentions of needles and pain / foul language / suggestive theme and horny police for nanami

✶ 𝐩𝐚𝐢𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠: gojo ﾉ geto ﾉ nanami

──── ✎ ° ⋆ 𝐆𝐎𝐉𝐎 𝐒𝐀𝐓𝐎𝐑𝐔

Satoru is sitting in your chair, ankles fully on display for you, but you’re actually occupied with keeping everything sanitized in the makeshift space of your boyfriend’s spacious room. He is laughing and acting tough until he hears the buzz of the machine, then he stops and gulps.

“Shit, sweets. Don’t know if I’m ready for this.”

“It’s too late.” You answer with a devilish smirk, before laughing and putting the pen down. “It’s okay if you don’t want anymore, no pressure.”

Maybe it’s the combo of your puppy eyes with small pout, but Gojo falls for your antics and let you have your way in his skin, it’s takes just a few minutes before you end the drawing of the little ants crawling his ankles. He, obviously, has the limitless off, and that scares him a bit — to feel pain, see dots of his blood. But when he looks at your concentrated face, pain dissolves, and he is happy to have something permanently his made by you, his only love.

By the end, though, he grins at you and asks for another one, bigger, blue! And you make the design and ink him again, before realizing you did not gave him the Suguru cat, but you fall for his dragon. Bitch.

──── ✎ ° ⋆ 𝐆𝐄𝐓𝐎 𝐒𝐔𝐆𝐔𝐑𝐔

Geto can see black dots in his vision when he lays belly down on the bed. He is a tough guy, been through stuff you have only an ideia about. You could guess by the minimal details and the fucking huge scar on his chest, he has been deeply cut by something. Still, he is scared of the needle you are holding.

But here he is, presenting his blank large and sexy back to you, making you rethink of doing another thing instead of the tattoo, but you have your opportunity and need to grab it.

“My love, are you ready?” You voice has the buzzing sound of the machine in the background, Suguru groans at that.

“Please, beat me to sleep.” It’s all he says before you touch his face. Before you can say anything, he talks again. “I’m fine, I think. I trust you a lot, baby.”

Suguru soon learns how soft and weightless your hand feels, because although something is burning in his back, he thinks is just you rubbing alcohol — that is until he wonders why are you rubbing alcohol for twenty straight minutes now, and then he shifts his face a bit to stare at you. He almost passed out again when he realized the tattoo is already in progress, but he is fine, and simply goes back to his original head position, before deciding to sleep.

Suguru wakes up hours later with this intricate tattoo on his upper back, he smiles and flexes his muscles on the mirror before staring at you, seeing you googling him. Yeah, if you keep looking at him like that and your hands feeling like feather, he may enjoy this whole thing — he does! By the end of the year, his whole torso is designed by you.

──── ✎ ° ⋆ 𝐍𝐀𝐍𝐀𝐌𝐈 𝐊𝐄𝐍𝐓𝐎

Nanami presented you what could be called a slideshow of tattoos he would like to have. Basically he made a pinterest board and added you to put the tattoos you would think he look nice with (basically all you’ve seen).

By saturday, he is wearing a white shirt, showcasing his big arm’s muscles, you get occupied with a little thing before you even start to prepare the living room. Now, he has no shirt anymore.

“So, what did you choose for me, love?” His soothing voice asks you, he is sitting by your dinner table and you smile at him, showing your tablet with the many arts you made based on what both he and you liked.

“Now you pick one and we start.”

“Can I have all of them?” Oh.. “I like the art, you are so talented, love. Let me be your canvas, do what you want.” Yeah, you get occupied again in the day.

It’s nighttime when you crack your bones and look at both of your boyfriend’s arm, all inked up. He stares at you normally, no pain, no heavy breathing. He really was a punk in high school.

“So, since we already did all 12, can we finish the chest as well? I think legs would be nice too, or neck… I can have neck tattoos now!” Nanami says with a energetic voice when both of you are eating pasta later.

“Damn baby, you are getting addicted.” You sit on his lap, eyes focused on the ink all over him. “Yeah, we can do all that.”

[yanderefarm]

.......imagine combining potatoing and the limited amount of words idea, cocksleeves dont need to talk after all :)

that lends so well into my love of making potatos dumber. like going from fully articulated man to a soft little thing that squirms and whines instead of using his words.

this became a whole thing. so enjoy you filthy animals. /lh

cw;; nsft, dead dove, amputation, electrocution, torture, unsanitary

i like that with achilles especially because for him this is the ultimate fantasy the best scenario in his world. completely dependent on you because you chose to take away his autonomy. but he still talks like he's a respectful member of society and not like he's a glorified cock sleeve, its not acceptable.

he also gets to ease into it, starting him with a good amount of words and slowly lowering it. but it gets even lower than noemie did because he doesn't even need to say pleasantries. good morning, good night, hello, its unnecessary. he needs to say yes, please, im sorry, and thank you and that's it. if he tries to waste his words on stupid things like no or stop he's going to end up punished in two ways.

it's fun to show off to your followers the sight of him using up his words. it's just a normal stream, you're playing games and in your lap is your cute little toy. everyone knows your cock is currently buried in your human onahole but you're not bouncing him or even moving, just letting him sit on your lap. someone asks how many words he has left today and so you check. it looks like he's been conservative today and he has about 10 left. so it's time to waste those precious words of your dumb toy. you make him look at the chat and people can pay for him to say things, of course you don't want them to use up all ten in one go so it's limited. the fun of watching him slowly fuck himself over begins.

"how are you doing today, pet?"

he blinks his pretty eyes and swallows.

"uhmm good..?"

"are you having fun?"

"yes!"

"what are you doing right now?"

you give him a good thrust to remind him. he gasps and whimpers with saliva dripping out of his mouth.

"mm.. t-taking master's co-cock."

that's 5.

"do you love your master?"

"yes!!"

"are you happy to be a fuck toy?"

"yes!!"

"do you ever regret losing your limbs?"

he looks back at you as best he can with a pout.

"you can say no this time." you assure him.

"no! i don't!"

that's the other 5.

"how many words do you have left?"

he blinks in confusion like he doesn't know what game you've all been playing.

"10."

that was the very last word. so you press him against your desk and push your cock even deeper into him. everyone is watching you remind him, everyone can see him and they know he's a sex toy.

"tell them thank you."

he's struggling with your cock now slamming into him making his entire body shake.

"tell them thank you." you say more sternly directing his slutty face to the camera.

"th-thank-"

the word barely leaves his mouth and he screams as the electricity buzzes through his body. that also earns him a hard slap on the ass.

"are you an ungrateful bitch? you need to be a good boy and say thank you properly."

"th-thank yyyYOUUU-"

another slap to accompany the shocks.

"thank you for watching this useless cock sleeve."

"ca-caaant-"

he's crying now as you continue to punish him along with the painful shocks. your relentless pounding of his tight hole doesn't stop either it's an overwhelming mix of pain and pleasure.

you pull him all the way onto your cock and sit back in your chair.

"tell me you can't again. see what happens."

"sowwy"

his voice is hoarse as his entire body twitches and writhes with the pain.

"now say it."

"tha-thank y-" a scream. "you fffforr-" more sobbing. "waaaaaatchingggggahh-" his body slumped forward but you pulled him back. "th-thisssss u-" his head fell against your shoulder as his body arched away from the pain. "useless-" he was flailing to get away from it. "co-coooock sleeeeeeeeveee-"

you watched as the poor toy couldn't help but release his bladder all over his stubby thighs and your lap.

"oh no... i think achilles wants to be punished even more."

[s-4pphics]

let the rain sing. 4 (a.a)

wc;cw: 7k, dadsbestfriend!abby, lawstudent!oc, large age gap(oc is 25, abby is mid 40s), abby is bi<3, slight angst yall know the deal, brief mentions of familial death, cigarettes, nasty sloppy sex MDNI, dubcon(they sipped a little), couch action :p, eating out no taco bell(pussy and ass), tribbing, meantop!abby, strength kink, lots of dirty talk, breeding kink😳😳, mult. orgasms, BREEDING STRAP(idk how they work im sowwie if it’s not accurate :/), slight d!p, body fluids(spit, fake and real cum LOL), UNPREPPED ANAL PLS DONT DO THIS, dumbification, degradation kink, pain kink it’s me duh, hair pulling, slapping, slight mirror sex??

The holiday season passed, and you were standing on Abby’s porch with your tail between your legs and exhaustion weighing you down. 

You’ve never been… nervous to see Abby. Whenever you arrived at her home, you were eager and desperate to be in her presence so she could take care of you, but now you were nauseas at the thought of using her that way. And it was all your fault. 

You haven’t spoken to her since the Christmas party. You didn’t know what to say. How do you approach somebody that you think hates you after an encounter like that? She went from rightfully kicking you out of her home to rubbing your pussy through your pants without care. In front of your entire family despite your mutual rules, and you didn’t even care enough to stop her. It almost felt like you switched places for the night: she was impulsive and irresponsible, and you allowed her to be, just like how she used to when she handled your demanding attitude. You wished she touched you more before she respectfully departed your parents’ home. 

You wanted to speak with Abby properly. You never thought you would be willing to sacrifice your kryptonite once you found it, but she didn’t deserve to be dragged along and solve your problems anymore. Your heart still hurts at the thought of making her cry and leaving her to it. You’re such an idiot. 

You called her before you showed up, but she didn’t answer. You don’t blame her for being distant, but she deserves an in-person explanation as to why you should never see her again. You’re a trainwreck and you need to deal with that alone, no matter how exhausting the journey would be. 

The sun was setting when you finally exited your car knocked on her door, looking down at your scuffed boots that dug into the melting ice on her porch. You wanted to check to see if her key was still in the same spot under her rug, but you refrained. Your heart filled when you noticed her unique little Christmas decorations still dangling from her door and windows. She loved her flowers, for sure.

When the door yanked open, your heart dropped, and your stomach did somersaults. 

Abby was dolled up in a red dress under a black trench coat with matching red nails and shoes, sparkling jewelry, and her hair was pulled back into a neat ponytail that cascaded down the back of her neck. She looked fucking gorgeous, and your throat went dry. She leaned against the frame as she eyed you, shock evident on her face. 

Don’t fold, don’t fold, don’t fold!

You watched her surprise swiftly shift into confusion and… aggravation? Your heart sunk further into the floor, but you held her gaze. 

“What’re you doing here?” 

Her voice made your heart squeeze painfully; You missed it terribly, regardless of how stiff she sounded. 

You took a shuddering breath, “… Hi, Abby.” 

She ignored your greeting, “What are you doing here?” She sounded like she was in a rush, and you wanted to cry. 

You swallowed harshly, “I-I know you’re probably busy, but I’m— “

“Look, I can’t deal with this right now. I have somewhere to be,” she quietly huffed with agitation like someone would hear, adjusting the shining watch on her wrist to check the time. You could feel her pulling away. 

It felt like every cell in your body was dying, your brain fighting on its last legs to conjure up a reply to get her to stay and speak with you. You would’ve dropped down to your knees if it wasn’t freezing. Is this how she felt whenever you would shut her down to fuck? Nausea came in waves. 

“I don’t,” you weren’t shaking from the cold. “I don’t wanna do anything. I just wanna… apologize.” 

She rolled her eyes at you, “Keep it. Are you done? I gotta leave soon.”

You were motionless, your hands squeezed into fists in your coat pockets as tears jerked in your eyes and lips quivered. Don’t fucking cry!

Your brain didn’t fight hard enough because she shook her head when you didn’t comment, reaching for the door to slam it in your face. It forced you into action, shoving your arm between the open space to stop the wood from shutting completely. You couldn’t control the panic you felt at the thought of her hating you. You don’t remember the last time you cried like this. 

“A-Abby, please, I’m so sorry, I can’t,” your heaving picked up as you sobbed to her. “I can’t stop thinking a—bout you and I feel awful and I know you hate me, and you s-should but’m so sorr—y. Please, I can’t— “

Abby seemed unsure through your watery gaze, the tensity in her face dropping slowly as she gauged you. You felt her wrap a light hand around your bicep as you broke down, ushering you inside with soft shushes. 

You listened and followed her guide to the couch, taking a seat as you cried out your apologies to her. Your wails overpowered the volume of her coos; She was too fucking nice. 

She stood over your sitting form, her soft, rose-scented hands holding your chin as she massaged the back of your pounding head. “Shhh, stop crying, stop.”

Your eyes met hers, and your heart burned, “M’sorry— “

She sighed, “We’re gonna… we’re gonna talk, okay?” 

You nodded, sniffing harshly. You didn’t deserve her hospitality, and you felt guilty accepting her courtesy. Had you really been so heartless to such a gentle soul?

She hummed, “Want some water?” 

You didn’t answer. 

She took your silence as approval and made her way to the kitchen. 

You calmed down. Slightly. Abby was able to remove your coat and boots without fuss; You were too busy blowing your nose with the soft tissues she handed to you. 

Abby sat next to you on the couch, earrings, coat, and heels removed and slung on the floor near the coffee table. She allowed you to take some sips of your water before she spoke, voice as soft as ever. 

“Okay to talk?” 

You nodded, setting your glass down on the decorative table and using your sleeves to wipe your still wet face. 

You took a deep breath. A few deep breaths, and she let you. 

But when you finally opened your mouth to speak, her phone rang. 

Both your eyes darted towards the coffee table; a contact named DON’T ANSWER read across the screen. Your brows furrowed in confusion, eyes gliding between her and her device. You’ve never seen Abby have a negative reaction towards anyone except you; Who did she not want to answer? 

She sighed heavily, reaching towards her phone to mute the ringing. A few moments of silence passed, and the call ended, but the caller popped up again. 

She tsked, reaching for her device with agitation. She answered it, annoyance evident in her tone. 

“I'm not coming. Stop calling me.” 

Your ears perked with intrigue. Was she meant to meet with someone tonight? She sounded so upset. 

Some distant ramblings came through her earpiece before she shot back at the person she was speaking to, “I don’t care. It’s not up to you!” 

The person got louder with her, the voice masculine. You saw Abby roll her eyes as she listened to the shouts. Why was she getting screamed at?

She spat nastily at the man before hanging up. “Fuck you. Don’t call me anymore tonight.”

She turned her phone off and tossed it onto the longue chair near the TV before turning back to you, the flame in her eyes slowly extinguishing. 

“Sorry,” she breathed awkwardly, massaging her temples. 

You shook your head, “Don’t apologize, I’m in your home. You can do what you want.” 

She hummed at you, her expression suddenly distant. She wasn’t looking at you, but at the hand that rested on your knee. Why was that making your body hot?

“I really came at a bad time, huh?” You huffed.

“Mhm,” she answered before backtracking. “I hate talking to him.” 

You spoke before you could think, “Who was it?”

“My ex.”

Your heart frosted over. 

“H-Husband?”

She nodded slowly, like it brought her shame to admit. You don’t know why that made your stomach churn with something red. Something fiery that you never felt. How long were they still in contact? You knew they weren’t on good terms due to Abby’s past dismissal of your questions about their past, but now you were really confused about where they stood. 

“D’you still talk to him?” 

“You interrogating me?” You stiffened at her tone, darkly sarcastic. Fuck, stop fucking up! 

You shook your head incessantly, “Not at all! Just… yeah, I don’t know why I asked that.” 

“What an honest lawyer,” you saw her lips curl upward into a smirk, and you exhaled a sheepish laugh, your hands squeezing into fists on your lap. She’s fucking gorgeous. 

“Not a lawyer yet.” 

She bit playfully, “Gonna be soon.” 

You made a noise in agreement before silence passed between you.

Abby’s voice made you look up. “We don’t see each other often, my ex and I. Not anymore at least.”

“… Oh. What were you guys going to do tonight?”

Abby shrugged, “Get drunk. Fuck probably.” 

You probably looked calm on the outside, but you felt every organ in your body burn like fire at her admission. You were stiff, your nails digging into your palms as grounding. Why are you getting so fucking pissed over them communicating? The fuck?

You couldn’t help yourself, “How come?” 

“It’s winter. We’re lonely and miss our daughter.” 

You felt like you were dunked into a bottomless tub of ice water. Your brain went into overdrive and your throat closed like you were going to cry again. 

She shook her head like nothing mattered, “Not the best coping mechanism, but.” 

“A-Abby— “

She cut you off, tone hushed, “We shouldn’t meet anymore, but he just… gets it. Gets me and what I’m still going through. I don’t know if I’ll ever fully get rid of him no matter how much I hate his guts.” 

You sat there and listened. This is the most personal conversation you’ve had with Abby since the first time you met. You finally met her eyes, waves of emotion flowing through them like ocean waves; You were here, and you wanted to listen to her. I’m sorry for shutting you down in the past. Please talk to me. 

You placed an encouraging hand on her bare shoulder, and she sighed, her eyes fluttering shut as you squeezed. She was so tired; You recognized exhausted stiffness from anywhere. 

“He’s the only��� person I have, honestly. It’s really weird,” she huffed a laugh, rubbing her nose. “We had her alone, we raised her alone, I buried her without him, and now we just… drag each other along in our grief. She died such a long time ago and we’ve made no progress, but I can’t… I can’t leave him.” 

You could hear the pain in her voice as she spoke, and it tore you to pieces. You can’t imagine what the two of them went through after such a grave loss; You knew it was your parents’ biggest fear. You had no idea how to talk her through this wave she was experiencing, but both your hands flew down to grab hers in her lap. You rubbed and squeezed them tight, hoping she would accept your presence again. You have me! I’m here, too. I'm sorry I wasn't before, but I am now. 

She looked down at your locked fingers, shocked at the gesture. She released a shuddered breath and squeezed back, grabbing your hand like you would slip away. 

She continued, her eyes glossy, “We always meet up around this time of year. For anything. For sex, to cry together. We could spend hours yelling and screaming at each other and then walk out of each other’s lives like nothing happened, just to do it all over again. I’m so… fucking tired.”

You shook your head in understanding. She needed comfort, some solace, a distraction just as much as you did, even if it’s only for a second. You wish you knew a better way to appease her emotional needs, but you didn’t. You didn’t know what to say, so you did what you should’ve done a long time ago. 

She confided in you, and you listened to all of it. 

Abby pulled out an expensive bottle of wine some time ago. You couldn’t stop smiling. 

Abby’s laugh was music to your ears, “I can’t believe I fucking did that!”

You shook your head as you beamed at her, “You don’t know how shook I was! I thought I was hallucinating! I don’t know what my cousin put in that fucking blunt, but I was on my ass the rest of the night.” 

You and Abby were facing each other, knees touching on the couch, in hysterics about the… events at the Christmas party. She tossed her expensive watch somewhere earlier, her posture content as she leaned back against the arm of her couch. You thought your first conversation after your argument would be much more unnerving, but you were both at ease and light. And a little tipsy. 

You weren’t sure how long you’d been at her house, but you didn’t want to leave. You’re so glad you came to see her. 

Her hands flew to cover her face, her face burning red, “I’m sorry. Aghh, I fuckin’ cringe. Jesus.”

You shrugged, “Great memories.” 

She hummed in agreement, her head tilting as her eyes wandered all over your face. Your face warmed, “You look pretty with your hair up.” 

She raised a brow at you, “Oh?”

“Um… yes,” you replied sheepishly. 

“I think that’s the first compliment you’ve given me,” she joked, but that made your heart hurt. 

“You’re really pretty, Abby,” you replied instantly, tone quiet as your heartbeat picked up. Her expression softened when she called out your name. 

You shook your head, eyes dropping to your hands in your lap, “I'm really sorry for yelling at you.” 

Her hand came up to lift your chin, “Hey. I’m not upset anymore. We’re gonna be fine, okay?” 

You nodded, eyes flickering between her mouth and eyes. She whispered your name again, thumb caressing your face. 

“Yes?” 

She whispered, inching forward slightly, “… How much trouble would I get in for kissing you right now?” 

Your tummy instantly swirled, and you grinned, “I dunno. A pretty good amount, I think.” 

She moved closer, tongue rolling over her lips as she eyed your mouth. 

Your breath shuddered, hand coming up to grab her wrist. You whispered as your face burned, “Kiss me?”

She snorted. Her nose brushed against yours, a smirk plastered on her face as she sniffed, “Yeah?”

Your core squeezed in approval. Abby released the hold she had on your face, strong arms wrapping around your waist to pull you closer. You followed, straddling her lap, arms looping around her neck. You could see the skirt of her dress riding up from beneath you when she stretched her legs out. She smelled like roses and Barolo. 

“Hi,” she whispered with a grin. 

You smiled back at her, “Hi.”

Her lips brushed against yours, “Kiss me.” 

You cheesed, mischievously pecking her cheek, and she stared at you blankly. You giggled and pinched her squishy cheeks. 

“Kiss me for real,” she scolded lightly. 

You snorted, poking the space where her dimples are, “Mmm, nah. changed my mind, actually.” 

“Oh yeah? Don’t wanna kiss me?” Her voice lowered. 

Goosebumps rose on your skin, but you shook your head at her anyway. Your defenses weakened when her grip tightened on your hips and head dropped, planting soft kisses down the expanse of your neck. You could feel her nails tickling the sensitive skin on your back as she softly caressed you. Your eyes went glossy. 

She mumbled against your neck, “Missed you.”

Your heart fluttered. You breathed, “Really?” 

“Mhm, couldn’t stop thinkin’ about you. Doesn’t matter how much you get on my fucking nerves,” her hands slowly crawled up your waist. 

Fuck, fuck, fuck!

How does she speak her mind so easily?! “Miss—missed you too.”

“Missed me touching you like this?” 

You nodded quickly, and her tongue swiped up the side of your neck. You breathed heavily in her ear, eager to touch her. You pulled back so you could see her face, friskiness dissipating when you connected your lips. She purred in your mouth, lips molding against yours as you grinded on top of her, her red lipstick transferring onto your mouth. 

You grabbed her soft cheeks in your hands, gasping when her hands slid down to grab your ass through your jeans. Her tongue licked into your mouth, and your toes curled in your socks. You missed kissing her so badly. 

She was kissing you stupid, tugging the hair at the back of your head as she sucked your bottom lip. You shakily brought your hands up to her ponytail to undo the elastic, and her locks fell down her back like liquid. Your arms wrapped around her neck to kiss her deeper, pulling tightly at her soft strands. 

She moaned into your mouth, sucking on your bottom lip, “Need some head?”

You nails dug into her shoulders, “Y-You don’t have t— “

She rolled her eyes, “It’s not for you, it’s for me. I was just tryna be polite.” 

Well.

“But I wan—“ 

Her hand came up to grab your chin. Fuck, you love when she does that. “Don’t care what you want actually. Lay down.”

You scurried off her like she was on fire, lying flat on the couch and ripping your sweater over your head, tossing it into the pile on the floor. Abby stood as you unbuttoned her jeans. You secretly watched as she unzipped her dress and allowed it to fall down her body. She was completely bare underneath. Your eyes followed the thin trail of hair that led down to her wet cunt, and it made you hot… in more ways than one; She was on a mission tonight, for sure. 

You shoved your jealousy down; She didn’t owe you anything, especially loyalty. You stared down at your busy hands.

You kicked your jeans off, a sock clumsily catching in your pant leg before they hit the floor. You were not prepared for spontaneous sex at all; One lonesome weed sock, panties with chocolate bars on them, and a gray lounge bra. 

You awkwardly scratched your ear and waited for Abby to move, but she didn’t. You looked up at her and noticed her just… staring at your torso. Her expression was unreadable as she took your body in, but you were about to die from her searing ogle. Your face was torched, even more so when she brought a gentle hand up, hooked her middle and index finger into the band of your bra. 

Her eyes bore into yours, silently asking for permission, and you nodded. She bit her lip, slowly raising the elastic band up your chest until your breasts dropped out. She played with the two of them, dark red nails digging into the soft skin, pinching at your nipples. You couldn’t stop squirming, watching her hand move on your body. You lifted your bra over your head and laid the bundled fabric over the back of the couch. 

“Turn over, baby. Wanna see something,” she barely whispered, patting your thigh encouragingly. 

You listened, flipping onto your hands and knees as she climbed on the couch behind you. You sighed happily when she massaged your ass in both hands, rubbing and pulling at your covered cheeks. You peered over your shoulder to watch her pull your sticky panties to the side. She was eyeing your pussy like she wanted to swallow you whole before her eyes flickered an inch up. She was staring at… 

Oh. Oh. 

You jokingly snarked at her, “Find whatchu lookin’ for?” 

Her eyes pierced through yours before she slapped the fuck out of your ass. Your body jerked forward at the force, eyes squeezing shut and groaning at the seering sting. Your head dropped on the arm of the couch.

She sneered at you, “I still feel some typa way. Be nice.” 

You gasped out, “M’so— “

“You’re sorry,” She squealed out mockingly. “I know. Be still.” 

She yanked your panties down your thighs, “Put your head down.” 

You dropped your head onto your crossed arms in front of you. Her hand rubbed down your spine to deepen your arch, pulling your hips farther up. 

“Hold it open for me, baby.” 

You whimpered and reached down between your legs, spreading the drippy folds of your cunt to expose your clit. You heard her curse behind you before you felt slow massages on your clit. They were so delicate, almost ticklish, and it made you shiver. 

Your walls squeezed down and you heard her moan behind you. She rubbed a bit faster, the soft, squishy noises from your cunt filling the room. You tried to push back on her fingers, but she harshly dug her nails into your hip to hold you still, pulling her fingers away from you. 

“Abby, please— “

She ignored you, prying your lips apart with her thumbs. Her breath hit your cunt as she slurred, “You trust me?” 

You nodded incessantly, “Yeah, baby, trust you, fuck, I trust you— “

Her lips sucked around your clit, and you bucked back on her face with force. She wasted no time, shoving two of her fingers inside you and curling them. She poked and prodded at your walls as she flicked your throbbing bud and holy fuck, you missed her so fucking bad—

You couldn’t help the noises that left your mouth when she hit your spot dead on, your walls milking her fingers with eagerness. You cried out her name as your orgasm pulled from deep within your gut, your fingers curling into fists into her couch cushions. The sounds your cunt made were becoming louder as your moans crescendo, your hips moving on their own accord to get her deeper inside you. 

Her tongue slowed on your clit, slowly licking up towards your entrance and… passed your entrance. She moved up, up, and her wet muscle swiped over your ass—

A sharp gasp shot through you, your head whipping around to face her. On any other occasion, she would’ve halted everything and checked in on you, but her fingers didn’t stop. Her thrusts were harsh and unrelenting, her eyes cutting through you, “Fuckin’ trust me, right?”

You sobbed when she slapped your still burning cheek, nodding your consent with tears streaming down your face. She didn’t hesitate to lick over your hole, her tongue sliding back and forth over the puckered entrance. 

“Abby, fuckfuckfuck, oh fuck— “

She hummed against your hole and your head dropped on the cushions completely, using your bent elbows as leverage to fuck back onto her face. 

She mumbled nastily against you, “Just needa be slutted out, baby? Yeah?” 

You could only whine and sob in reply before the strong squeezes of your orgasm built and built. You were right fucking there you just needed her to—

Her tongue shoved inside you, and your body seized and tensed under the pressure of your orgasm. It wracked through your body in waves as you wailed into the pillows beneath you, both sets of walls contracting through your pleasure. Your cunt milked her fingers with urgency, your juices dripping out of your entrance and down Abby’s wrist. She tongued you through the aftershocks. 

She slowly brought you back down as your pulses slowed, planting a kiss on the back of your thigh before pulling out. Exhaustion took over your body as she helped you get onto your back, your head propped up on the pillows behind you. You kicked your dangling panties off and allowed her to lift your leg over her shoulder. She climbed on top of you, straddling your resting thigh. You looked up at her and… the large vein in her biceps made you shiver. 

“A-Abby?” 

She grabbed your tit, “Hm.”

You whimpered, “Are you a gym rat?”

She snorted, a grin spreading across her pretty face as she massaged the soft skin. “Errr… yes? When I wanna be. Why do you ask?”

Throw me across the room! You eyed her bulging vein, “Nothin’.” 

She smirked down at you, “Mhm.” 

… Did she just flex her bicep what the fuck—

You didn’t even have a chance to think before her pussy rubbed up against yours, and nearly cried when you saw your sopping cunts connect, sighs of satisfaction leaving your mouths when your clits bumped up against each other, bonded by strings of slick. You grabbed her thigh for support, digging your nails into her soft skin as her grinds increased in pace. 

Your throbbing bud jerked with each pass of her hips. You did everything in your power to keep your eyes open so you could watch her: her head was tossed back with her lip between her teeth, her defined stomach tensing and she fucked you. She looked so desperate to cum, to feel so good that she forgets everything. She kept taking and taking like you never allowed her to, and you never wanted it to end. 

“Your pussy feels s’good, shit,” she grinded down on you harder as she gazed at the ceiling. “Gonna make me cum— “

“Cum on me, Abby? Please cum on my pussy?” You whimpered up at her as your eyes grew heavy, and she slumped over the pillows, strong arms holding her up as she used you to fuck herself. She was getting louder, and you were squeezing as your second orgasm approached. Her pussy was hitting you right where you needed, right on your clit and you were about to—

You saw a screen flash out the corner of your eye as your device blared, and the drop of your heart matched the tight grip of your pussy. 

Abby was close, and your dad was calling.

Abby was too deep in her pleasure to notice as she begged you to cum with her, grabbing at your tits and yanking your nipples. Your pleasure kept rising and your phone wouldn’t stop fucking ringing—

“Fuck, baby, oh god, m’cumming!—“

Abby’s scream sent you off, your eyes rolling back, and your core squeezing with all you had to give. She was fucking you so hard through your euphoria, crying your name as you did the same. She was hitting your clit so good, you couldn’t breathe. 

Your ears were ringing so loud that you couldn’t hear the second call coming in, and you didn’t care. Your hips bucked as much as they could to meet hers, helping her ride out her intense orgasm. The harder you pushed up, the more you could feel her pussy pulsating. It sent another wave of pleasure through you. 

The feeling eventually subsided, the contractions in your cunt easing into light jerks. Abby caught her breath before moving off and plopping on top of you as she breathed heavily in your ear. You brought a hand up to rub her scalp, twirling her hair around your index finger as her scent infiltrated your senses. Your phone was finally quiet. 

“Can I fuck your ass?” 

Her heavy exhale made your spine bend. You could feel her smile against your neck. 

You were about to pass out, and it wasn’t from your insomnia. 

Abby carried you upstairs to her bed, and eventually got your legs over her shoulders while she lubricated her deep blue strap… with a slit at the incredibly fat tip? She never used this one with you before. It was veiny, curved, and thick; How the hell was that going to fit in your ass!

You knew one of her darkest secrets was cumming inside of somebody, but you didn’t know she meant it. You couldn’t stop thinking about all the times she moaned about cumming inside you. Knocking you up. She was really going to—

“Stop staring at my dick, it’s rude,” she said blankly. 

Your eyes flickered up to meet hers, “Sorry.” 

She snickered, “I’m kidding, relax.” 

How could you relax when she was jerking off in front of you! Her hands are so pretty on her dick, and you could cry right now because of it!

You squealed when she slapped it on your clit, the silicone getting drenched in her flavored lube and your slick. Your pussy squeezed in anticipation; She was about to destroy your cunt and you couldn’t think, holy shit, you missed her so badly—

She breathed eagerly, “You know what to do, baby.” 

You nodded, reaching down to hold your pussy open for her. She lined her tip up at your entrance, “Need this dick?”

“Fuck yes— “

She cooed, “Yeah? Want me?”

You looked up at her, your head bobbing up and down like you were entranced. You wanted her so much. Too much. The look of pride in her eyes was going to stay in your memory forever. 

“Fucking say it,” she spat.

“Want you inside me, baby, please fuck me!”

She popped the tip in, and you moaned as pleasurable pain rushed through you. She took her time easing into you, allowing you to feel every ridge of her dick against your walls. The veins in the silicone were catching on your walls and it made you squeeze down tight. 

She paused and kissed your ankle, “Ease up, baby. C’mon.” 

“Can’help it, fuck, splittin’ me open,” your tongue felt so large in your mouth. 

“Fuck, missed wrecking this pussy,” she moaned out, staring down at the way your walls choked her length. 

She pushed an inch deeper, and you nearly shouted. 

She smirked, “Right there?”

You were drooling onto your chest as you craned up to watch how you connected. She was pressed right up against the spot that made you see stars, and you felt the beginnings of your orgasm stirring in your gut. 

She pushed inside until she was fully submerged in your juices, your slick coating the entire toy when she pulled out, only to fuck back into you again. She stretched you out until you were grabbing at her hip, trying to pull her deeper into you. She wrapped her arms around both of your calves and drilled in your guts, only pulling out a few inches before shoving back in. 

The power of her thrusts was causing the flowery headboard to bang up against the wall, the soggy noises of your cunt and squeals of pleasure filling the room. She was battering your pussy completely, and you couldn’t do anything to stop her. 

“Pussy’s pushing me out,” she garbled with a limp tongue. “Feel good, baby? Can’t take it?” 

You couldn’t find the strength to respond, nails digging into her soft blankets as she transported you to another dimension, sparkles and glitter exploding behind your eyelids as your unannounced orgasm shook your spirit, “Can feel you cummin’, shit.” 

Her voice was muffled from the ringing in your ears. You could barely register her pulling out and grabbing her girth, quickly rubbing her wet tip on your clit to rub you through your orgasm. You felt speckles of droplets land on your ass and the covers beneath you, eyes crossed in your skull and the taste of copper in your mouth from biting your lip too hard. 

She didn’t let you recover before she released your legs, pinning them down to your chest by the back of your knees, nearly folding you in half and shoving back into your wetness with a disgusting noise.

She bounced you on her cock like a weightless ragdoll, your body shifting up her bed with force. She hit so deep whenever she fucked like this. Her tip was nudging your cervix whenever she dug in deep, the pain plunging into you like a knife as tears filled your eyes and pleasure sizzled all the way down to your toes.

“Gonna cum in this fuckin’ pussy, oh my god— “

You couldn’t help the babbles that came from you, drooly yesyesyesyess’ coming from you, “Yeah, baby? Need me to fill your pussy up?”

You nearly passed out at the thought of her stuffing you, your orgasm built until it crashed into you, snatching the wind in your body as you let out a quiet scream. Your lashes were fluttering, and spit was sliding down your cheek, completely dumb under her. 

And then you felt a thin stream of liquid shoot inside your pulsing cunt. You swore you flatlined. 

Your orgasm only intensified at the feeling of her creaming inside you, her gross whispers making the hairs on your arms stand, “Gonna knock this slutty cunt up and send you home filthy. Want you drippin’ with it.” 

You nodded brainlessly; You’d do whatever she wanted as long as she kept fucking and filling you. Another harsh stream exploded inside you, and your juices sprayed on her lap. You went limp under her, letting her move and toss you around how she pleased. You were getting so fucking tired, but you didn’t want her to stop. 

She gave one last deep grind, poking your cervix one last time before pulling out, her gaze dropping to watch her seed spill out of your battered cunt. She pushed your legs down even further, knees nearly hitting your head as she lined her dick up at your ass, “Would marry this pussy, swear to god. It takes dick so good.” 

You only released a choked noise in approval; She could have you however she wanted! 

Her pretty brow arched cockily, “You like that? Like when I make this pussy mine?”

You shook your head so fast. It’s yours, baby! It’s all yours!

She barely pushed forward, her tip nudging your other entrance, making you squeal, “Is this mine too?” 

“Fuck yes, s’yours, baby!”

She popped in, and you sobbed. You need this, you need this, you need her—

Tears ran down to your neck as you cried, her gentle shushes caressing your ear drums like symphonies, “Such a good girl, doing so good for me, just a little more, okay?” 

You couldn’t stop moaning at the foreign sensation, “G-Gimme all of it, oh my fuckin’ god—“

“… You sure?”

She paused, only a couple inches inside as she gauged you. The gentle aura you're so used to finally returned as she massaged your thighs comfortingly, and your heart swelled. 

You spoke in one breath, “Fuck my ass, Abby, please. S’gonna make me cum again— “

“Tell me if I’m— “

“Please, baby, s’gonna hurt s-so good, gimme— “

“Okay, baby shhh, I gotchu,” she hushed you, quickly grabbing the discarded bottle of lube at your side and squeezing a messy quantity over your pulsating entrance. She tossed it somewhere and pushed in deeper, the burn sending hot shockwaves to your brain. How were you about to cum there’s no way you’re going to cum—

“A-Abby, fuck me, fuckme— “

She was whimpering with you, still pressing in, “Don’t wanna hurt you baby, shit— “

“Fuck me harder, m’so close!”

Your eyes squeezed shut when she pushed the last few inches in, sitting deep in your ass, and you came so hard. You could hear her moaning with you as she grinded you out. The cum that sat deep in your cunt was pulsing out of you with each clench, dripping down to your filled ass and coating her. You forced your eyes open so you could watch her, eyes burning with lust and her toned body drenched in sweat. 

She brought a hand down to your pussy and shoved two fingers in, curling and hitting your spot at a vigorous pace. The squelches were so loud over your pleased shouts, and you squirted all over her hand, some droplets splattering on your chest and chin. 

She yanked her fingers out to pat and spank your throbbing clit before pushing your legs back up, pulling out slowly before shoving her entire length back into you. 

Abby has never been this aggressive during sex, but she was slapping you, fucking you deep and hard, spitting on your face from where she towered over you, and you took all of it like she was paying you. Your ass was rippling on her cock, trying to make space for her cock so it could suck her in deeper. You couldn’t stop squirting, both your cum dripping out of both your holes. 

Gonna cum so hard in this ass, oh my fuckin’ god, you feel so good.

It’s mine? Say it’s mine.

Look at that dirty fucking pussy. Nasty cumslut. You love being my fucking worthless whore, don’t you? 

Just needa turn that pretty brain off? Yeah? Need me to take care of you? Fuck you stupid? 

You were thrown into one long, constant orgasm and she talked you through it. You clawed at her ass and sheets and your own tits to keep yourself grounded but it wasn’t working. You were getting her so wet, a large puddle forming underneath you as your body jerked away from her. But she held you down, made you take what she gave, made you see god. You felt so fucking good that it almost pained you. 

You could hear her moans increase in volume, not bothering to pull out as she grinded deep inside you. You knew she was close, riding her harness into completion. You used the only strength you had to turn your head to the side, making eye contact with yourself in her large dresser mirror. You looked fucked up, but you watched yourself cum before staring at Abby’s reflection. 

Her eyes were squeezed shut as she bucked into you quickly, her tits and fat on her ass shaking in the mirror. You could hear her whispering makemecummakemecum over and over again, and you shuddered when another spurt of liquid left you. 

Cum in my ass, cum in me filled your brain like a mantra.

You fought to keep your eyes open, watching the muscles in her body tighten up before she yelled out, screaming how hard she was cumming and how good your ass sucked her cum in. A line of spit left her mouth and landed on your thigh as she shuddered through her pleasure, and you felt her jizz fill your ass, the second load much larger than the first. It felt so fucking good. 

Another orgasm rushed through as you both screamed in pleasure. You tried to meet her grinds, pushing down to get her squirting dick even deeper inside. 

Abby dropped your legs and they instantly wrapped around her waist as she fell forward, resting her full weight on you as she rode out her orgasm. Her moans of your name didn’t stop, and it felt like you both were cumming for hours. She filled and filled you like you were milking her dry, draining her completely and it made you cum again. Your arms wrapped around her neck to pull her close, nails digging into the flexing muscles in her back and leaving red trails.

She screamed out a warning of another orgasm right before her body trembled on top of you. Her dick wasn't bursting in you anymore; Why did that make you sad?

Her grinds eventually slowed into twitches as you both came down. She was planting gentle kisses and sucks on your neck, her hands coming down to rub the soreness from your thighs as you massaged her scalp. 

You made sure to keep your eyes open so you wouldn’t drift off into dreamland. 

After Abby pulled out and cleaned you up, she rummaged through her underwear drawer and pulled out a Marlboro box and lighter. 

… Why were you horny again? 

Her wet, semi-leaking dick was still strapped around her waist, her now scarred backside facing you as she stuck the orange end between her lips and ignited it. You watched her through the mirror, her body instantly relaxing as she puffed silently. You looked like a cat in heat. 

She looked up and stared back at you in the reflection, taking the smoke between her index and middle finger, exhaling around her words. 

“What’re you looking at?”

You shrugged and smiled like a ditz. She shook her head at you before sticking the butt in her mouth, undoing the adjusts and stepping out of her dick. She picked it up, eyes flickering awkwardly before throwing it in her hamper. You giggled quietly.

She ashed her cig over her small trash can, before looking at you, “Come shower?”

Your heart pounded in your chest like she didn’t just obliterate your pussy and ass. You consented in silence. 

You could hear her laughing as you hobbled to the bathroom, “I coulda carried you, y’know.” 

You flipped her off. 

After washing, Abby just… held you. 

The water was still beating down on the two of you, her head resting on your shoulder as she rubbed your back. And you did the same. 

You felt so relaxed, and everything was quiet in your head, the lavender scent of her body wash surrounding the two of you. You could’ve fallen asleep right here. 

Her hushed tone surprised you. 

“Are you leaving tonight?” 

Your heart shredded to pieces at her nervous tone. She sighed in relief at your whisper. 

“No, Abby. I’m not.” 

You didn’t know what would happen when you returned home, but for now, you relished in her warm embrace as you nodded off onto her shoulder. 

You didn’t sleep alone. 

OOHHHHH im ovulating LOL 

anal whores this one’s for y’all😞😞

taggie waggies :3 @ohlawdthebirds @fibrogirlie @unangelic-thoughts @chrry1ovr @uraesthete @gravygranules @digit4lslut @machetegirl109 @letsreadsomesins-shallwe @macaroni676 @sillygooselit @nil-eena @elliesgirlll @hi2647 @fr0thycoffee @mai5mai @sweet-lover-girl

prologue. part one. part two. part three. interlude.

[mybadmutt]

could u write ellabs x reader? maybe the reader is dating them both and they get jealous bc some girl is flirting w the reader? maybe some fluffy after care at the end :)

YES 🦭

✦ | Cw; Dom!Abby/Ellie, Sub!Fem!Reader, Marking, Overstimulation, Mentions of blood, Multiple orgasms (?), Sorta fluff (?)

✦ | An; it’s SHORT (and maybe rushed) I’m sorry sowwy

"You're ours. Do you ever forget that," Abby growled, her fingers digging into the swell of your hips as she guided you along the length of Ellie's wet cunt, her own naked body pressed up against your back. You’d cum about three times by now, you mind has completely turned to mush, and all you can do is whimper and whine about how overstimulated you are. But you take what they’re giving you anyways.

Abby’s rough hands feel so good against your sweaty skin as you try to focus on the feeling of your pussy rubbing against Ellie’s, her sweet grunts and groans motivating you more despite the throbbing ache in your thighs.

“So pretty, sweet girl. Look so good on top of me,” Ellie groaned, letting Abby do the work for both of you, her legs quivering on your shoulders. You tell she was getting close by now, the subtle trembling of her legs, the occasional whimpers she let out, the way her back arched every time Abby pushed down a little bit too hard.

“Guys, please, I can’t—“

“You can, and you will,” Abby snarled, giving your ass a hard smack that’s definitely going to form a dark bruise later on. You really, and actually, couldn’t take this anymore. You’ve lost track of how many times you came tonight, your body was defiled in cum, sweet, and blood, and your body was burning for a break, aching even. Though, they wouldn’t stop, no. Not until every inch of your body and mind was branded in their marks.

After some time, Ellie finally came, about her second or third one this night. You whined and squirmed on top of her as her warm juices splashed against your swollen cunt, this also being the cause of your own orgasm. This left both you and Ellie breathless, Abby smirking as you admired how fucked-out you two looked.

“You think she’s had enough?” Ellie rasped, her hands smoothing down you quivering backside, easing the pain from the many, many marks that she’d left there. “Yeah, she’s good,” Abby responded, gently placing kisses on the back of your sweaty neck before dragging you off of Ellie and into her arms, carrying you into the bathroom for some much needed TLC.

“You did such a good job for us tonight, beautiful,” Abby praised, sitting you down on a towel on the counter and drenching a freshly cleaned washcloth in warm water, lathering it with soap and carefully slipping it over the curves and contours of your body, wary of the tiny wounds they may have left behind. The only thing you could really manage for her was a drowsy smile, your body gradually coming down from shaking as she deemed you clean enough as washed the soap off of your skin, wrapping you up in a fluffy pink towel, and carrying you back to your bedroom.

You were mostly sure you would find Ellie there, and you did. She looked like she’s already cleaned herself up as well as the bed.

“Come get in bed you two,” she hummed, patting the bed before she got into it herself, leaving the sheets pulled back so Abby could lay you down and tuck you in, making herself snug beside you, ultimately sandwiching you between the both of them. “Good night, princess. I love you,” Abby whispered, giving you and Ellie one last round of kisses before slowly drifting off into sleep. Leaving you and Ellie awake for a little while longer.

“Well, good night, I guess. Love you,” Ellie rasped, tenderly kissing your nose before falling asleep along with Abby, leaving you the last one awake.

Your eyes slowly began to flutter shut, body laying limply between the both of them, before remembering to utter your last words of love before drifting off into dreamland.

“Love you guys, too.. Good night.”

[gashinabts]

On and Off (II) | (m)

Word: 4.1k

Pairing: Jungkook x Reader

Genre: angst, light smut,

Warnings: Manipulation, light smut, toxic relationship

summary: you and jungkook can't seem to break up.

Part 1 Part 3

a/n: bittersweet ending :,( sowwy… there’s going to be a part three so don’t worry 🤭 listen to the perfect pair - by beabadoobee while writing this🥲

Jungkook wasn’t your first love, he wasn’t your first kiss or first anything. He was just like any other guy you dated that asked you out. So why is it hard for you to let go of him?

His hand is holding your waist as he is talking to Namjoon, the red solo cup your holding is nearly empty. You and Namjoon don’t have a good relationship, he always has smart ass comments for you and you always talk back to him. So you could care less if you were being rude for not participating in the conversation. You wait for Jungkook to stop talking to interrupt the conversation. “ My cup is empty babe,” you hand it to him. Jungkook looks down at you and smile back, “ Thanks,” handing your drink to him. He doesn’t argue back accepting your command. Namjoon gives Jungkook a look and it’s obvious that is annoyance.

Once Jungkook leaves, you maintain eye contact with Namjoon. “ It’s too bad you can’t boss around Jungkook after we graduate?” Namjoon says with a slight smirk. You arch your eyebrow in questioning urging him to continue. “ Oh he didn’t tell? Jungkook and I are going to New York for the paid internship.”

It was surprising to you hear that information, you weren’t aware that Jungkook even applied to an abroad internship. You tried to keep your composure but you failed there’s confusion on your face and Namjoon is amused. “ No he didn’t tell me.”

There’s a fake apologetic look on his face, “ I’m sorry I had to be the one to tell you.”

“ No you’re not…” You tell him straight up. Not in the mood for his antics.

“ Yeah, I’m not,” Namjoon takes another sip and realizes his cup is empty. “ It’s empty…I’m gonna get another one.” He brushes past you heading to the kitchen.

There’s anger swelling in you from Jungkook hiding this information from you. Was he ever going to tell you? Maybe on the day of the flight he would just leave you without saying a word. There’s so many thoughts going in your head that you didn’t even notice that Jungkook returned with your drink. “ Where did Namjoon go?” Jungkook asked while he hands your drink. You stare at Jungkook while he turns his head looking for his friend. Your debating whether to bring it up right now or to wait for him to tell you. Taking a sip of your drink you grimace at the jungle juice, then placing it on the small table that’s among other empty solo cups and beer bottles. He looks back at you with a blank face, “ Is it not to your standards princess?” He sarcastically ask.

“ Yeah it taste like shit,” you reply back. Jungkook laughs and he grabs his cigarettes from his pocket and nods to go outside. He walks in front of you clearing the path of dancing bodies in the party. You reach for his hand and he brings you closer to him. Once your outside you let go of his hand, and stuff them in the pockets of your hoodie trying to warm yourself from the cold. He doesn’t say anything but lights up his cigarette and inhales it. “ Jungkook,” you call his name softly. He turns his head quickly, you rarely call his name in that tone. During sex, yeah. And when you guys are cuddling but not at time like this. “ Why’d you ask me out?”

Jungkook shrugs, “ I thought you were hot.” Rolling your eyes you pinch him and he laughs. His pretty teeth displaying and his nose scrunches at the pain you inflicted. “ Ok ok, I’ll tell you after you tell me why you agreed to go out with me.” He looks at you with interest, you guys never discussed on how everything came to be.

Looking at his eyes you see the sparkle under the moonlight, he has pretty eyes too but you never tell him that. Breaking eye contact you look at the moon itself. “ I just knew I had to say yes. There was something about you that made me feel so sure but unsure. Like if I didn’t say yes I would regret it.” Turning your head you see Jungkook staring at you there’s a hint of surprise like he didn’t expect you to speak so honest.

Jungkook fiddles with his lip ring before speaking, “ I felt like I needed to be yours.” Your heart beats fast at his words and you look away once again. He smokes his cigarette one last time before putting it out, one of his hand holds your cheek guiding your lips to his. Kissing you softly then pulling away. “ Let’s get out of here.”

Clothes were tossed around as Jungkook pushes you against his wall as he lifts you up. Your arms wrap around his neck, your fingers playing with the nape of his hair. “ God, you’re so pretty,” Jungkook tells you looking into you eyes.

“ Yeah?” You tilt your head in questioning. There’s butterflies in your stomach, “ Prettier than the stars ?” You asked.

“ Mmm,” he smiles and nods. “ Prettier than the moon itself,” he playfully bites your neck and you yelp but he kisses it better. Jungkook carries you to his bed carefully placing on the edge of the bed and sitting up while he is standing. You’re the only one who’s half dressed you urge Jungkook to take off his shirt. Hands roaming his chest down his stomach pulling at the jeans, feeling his hard on.

“ I’m the only one who gets you hard like this, right?” You unbutton his jeans slowly and he hurriedly takes them off. Kicking his jeans and underwear somewhere.

“ Yeah, baby,” his hands caress your face, his thumb brushing your bottom lip. “ And these lips are only for me,” he parts your lips and suck on his thumb. His gaze is lustful as he stares down at you as you make innocent eyes at him.

Removing your lips from his thumb, “ Are you just gonna stare at me or fuck me?” Biting his thumb and he smirks. His hand pushes your chest back so you lay on your back, and he quickly pulls your panties off.

“ Can’t you be patient?,” he chuckles. He spreads your legs apart.

“ No,” you say while shaking your head, your foot touches his abs. “ Not when I have you like this,” you looks at his sinful body. You think that gods carved his body, everything from his pretty eyes to his tiny waist. Jungkook gives you a boyish smile at your comment, he doesn’t warn you pushing himself inside you and you both moan at the pleasure.

—-

“ It’s just a hoodie, Y/n.” Jungkook states the obvious. And just like that he makes you more mad.

This morning you see a girl in your lecture seeing Jungkook wearing his hoodie that you bought him. It’s the same girl who made out with him when you guys were on break “ Why the hell does she still have it then. It’s fucking weird,” you point at the girl who’s a couple rows away from you guys.

“ I forgot it at her apartment…” Jungkook wants to slam his head on the table. Everything was going well in your relationship. There hasn’t been an argument in four days ever since you guys had an intimate conversation at the frat party.

You pull your hand from his, “ You went to her apartment? Thought you guys just made out,” you scoff.

“ Yeah we did. I’m serious that’s all that happened,” he speaks truthfully. He sees you nod your head. And he goes back to hold hand and you shake your head. “ Babe…”

“ Go get it.” You look back at him. Lecture hasn’t started the professor hasn’t showed up yet.

“ Huh?” Jungkook ask in confusion.

“ The hoodie, go get it,” you nod your head to the girl who’s talking to her friends about whatever.

Jungkook looks around and notices more students showed up to lecture than usual because of an upcoming exam. He looks at you again and you are serious. Getting up he excuses himself and apologizes as his knees bump into people sitting down. Finally reaching down to Yujin and she looks up smiling and blushing at him. Her friends giggle as they also find Jungkook attractive. “ Uhh, I need my hoodie back,” Jungkook points down to his black Fear of God hoodie. Yujin friends stop giggling and look the other away in embarrassment. While Yujin looks even more embarrassed, there are more people looking at the scene some whispering. She awkwardly gets up and pulls the hoodie off and hands it quickly to Jungkook. He walks back towards you and people stare at him as he sits back down with you.

Yujin friends whisper and she turns her head and makes eye contact with you, quickly she turns her head around. Head lowering down in shame. “ Fuck Y/n, she looked like she was bout to fucking cry,” Jungkook harshly whispers at you.

“ Not my problem. She knew we were back together and she still wore it,” you roll your eyes. You bring your phone to Jungkook and show him the picture of you guys kissing and Yujin liked the picture on Instagram.

Jungkook chuckles, “ You’re fucking brutal,” he shakes his head in disbelief. He’s also embarrassed since he also hears people talking about him from the row behind.

“ Who’s fault is that?” You ask.

- — -

Jungkook moans loudly as you ride him, his hand reaching your waist to make you move faster. But you quickly push them holding them up his head. “ Baby please,” he whines.

“ Did you feel embarrassed?” You ask Jungkook. Riding him slower only grinding on him. “ You looked so embarrassed, it was so funny,” you laugh to yourself. Call yourself cynical but you wanted to punish him in public for making you feel like an idiot.

Jungkook eyes darken, “ What about you, babe? Knowing that another girl was wearing my clothes. That she smells like my cologne the one you bought me,” he tauntingly ask back.

There’s jealousy seeping through your body, “ I don’t care,” you lie and he can read your facade. He lifts his body up and his hands easily go towards your waist.

Jungkook nuzzles into your neck, kissing it, “ But you do care,” he trails on. He thrust into your body and you let him have his way with you. “ I like that you care.” Jungkook kisses you on the lips.

—

Couple days later, Jungkook wakes up earlier than you, he ignores your groans as he disrupts your sleep. “ Y/n, wake up,” he tugs the blanket revealing your naked body. He looks at the time not wanting to be late again because of you. Jungkook planned a date, he already bought the tickets for the Botanical Garden.

“ Why?” Your voice muffles as you stuff your face in the pillow. Last time you checked you didn’t have anything planned for the weekend, you worked yesterday night and was drained from it.

Jungkook gets up putting his boxers on and he opens the drapes and lets more sunlight in. “ We have tickets to the Botanical Garden, I don’t want to be late. You always make us late…”

Your eye twitch in annoyance, “ You didn’t tell me we had plans. If you would’ve told me I would’ve told you to schedule the tickets on Sunday. I’m tired…I had a five hour lab class and worked a shift yesterday.” Your hands bring the blanket over your body eyes falling back to sleep.

Jungkook groans, “ Oh sorry, how inconsiderate of me to not tell you to put me on your schedule.” He gets annoyed as you continue to be in a slumber state.

You felt bad since you guys haven’t been in a date in awhile, “ Okay, just give me thirty minutes more of sleep.” He sighs but lets you sleep more as he gets dressed. Thirty minutes pass and you get up, taking a shower and putting on your makeup. “ Which one is cuter?” You’re still wearing your bra and panties as you hold up two dresses showing Jungkook.

He gives you blank stare, he’s irritated because you take an hour taking a shower and putting your makeup. “ That one,” he chooses the sage color dress. You look at the dress and put it away and choose the lavender color dress instead. “ Why’d you ask for my opinion if your going to choose something else?” Jungkook ask.

“ I liked this one better,” you shrugged putting it on. Your cleavage looks nicer in this dress. He eyes your tits and he pinches his nose not wanting to start anything. “ Doesn’t it look good on me?” You move closer to him and peck his lips.

“ Sure,” he grabs your car keys. He thinks you look really hot but you made him behind schedule so he doesn’t want to compliment you. You hop in the passenger seat and Jungkook looks confused as to why the drivers seat is pushed back, he knows that you sit close to the steering wheel. “ Who drove your car?” Jungkook asked as you scroll on your phone. “ Y/n?” He calls your name for attention.

“ Yoongi, we met after work. He lives in the same apartment building as me,” You put your phone away, giving Jungkook your full attention.

Jungkook eyes widened, “ When were you going to tell me that fucker lives in the same complex as you?” He breaths deeply to calm himself but then notices a faint smell of weed. “ Is that why your tired because you were smoking weed with him?”

You lean your chair backwards relaxing yourself, “ I didn’t know he lived in the same complex as me until like a couple days ago. And we only smoked for like thirty minutes…it was right when you told me you were in my apartment we stopped. I’m also tired because you woke me up at 3 am to fuck me.”

“ Whatever,” he starts the car and drives. He plays the music and hums to yet trying to ease his mind. Jungkook is upset at the fact that you didn’t tell him right away that Yoongi lived close to you. He doesn’t trust Yoongi at all and he’s told multiple times.

“ I’m sorry,” your voice is heard over the music. It’s quiet but Jungkook hears it loud and clear. Jungkook looks at you in slight surprise. You are not one to apologize. One of his hand holds out for you and hold it, he kisses it, holding it the whole time as you reach the destination.

Jungkook takes many pictures of the orchids, roses, and many other flowers with his film camera. He tells you to pose as he also takes pictures of you. He looks really attractive even though he barely puts any effort in his appearance. Right now he’s showing you how to take a picture and you giggle as he gives you stern look when you waste a film when you accidentally took a picture of the ground. “ I want to take a picture of you,” you shoo him away. “ Stand right there,” you point for him to take a picture by the yellow roses.

“ You better take a good picture, babe. Those films aren’t cheap,” he looks at you with a serious expression and you take a picture.

Laughing you tell him to pose again, “ I think your eyes were close. Lemme take another one,” you take another picture and this time he is smiling. He grabs the camera before you can waste anymore films. “ If they are so expensive, why do you always take pictures of me?” You ask curiously.

“ Because I like taking pictures of you,” he says as puts his camera away in his backpack. He wraps an arm around your shoulder.

You hum to yourself, “ Are you going to keep those pictures forever? Even after we go our separate ways?” It’s a thought that runs into your mind, that when you and Jungkook get older and tired of all this fighting, would he completely erase you from his memories.

Jungkook halts his arm falls to his side, “ Jesus Christ, why do you have to ruin the mood, Y/n?” He was having a good time enjoying the serene view and hanging out with you.

You’re wondering if he’s going to come clean about New York.

Turning to face him, “ Jungkook do you honestly see a future for us?” You ask. “ After we become real adults with real careers, do you see me in your life?”

He closes his eyes thinking carefully what he should say. “ I don’t know,” he answers honestly. His voice is detached from reality. Jungkook pushes his hair back and reaches for his pack of cigarettes but remembers he can’t smoke in this area.

There’s a slight drop in your stomach but you’re glad that he told you the truth rather than sugarcoating.“ Is there anything else you want to tell me?” You ask. Jungkook shakes his head and you sigh telling him, “ Let’s go. I’ll drop you off at your apartment.” Walking ahead of Jungkook you notice the flowers look less vibrant than when you first saw them.

—-

“ Did you guys break up again?,” Mina ask as you guys eat at the campus dining hall. She noticed that you and Jungkook passed each other like you guys were strangers, not glancing at each other.

Pushing the overly salty fries away. “ No…yeah. To be honest I’m not sure.” You lay your head on the table mood drained from all the thinking. “ I wish I was a good person maybe our relationship wouldn’t be so shitty.”

Mina’s hand pats your head, “ Everything will be alright.” You doubt everything will be alright but you believe her for a second. Mina then leaves you alone because she had to go to her next class. Lifting your head up you look across and see Jungkook laughing with his friends. Turning your head you see Yoongi walking towards you and you smile. He has two drinks in his hands.

“ I swear you look more depress each time I see you,” Yoongi comments sitting down while handing you the drink.

Chuckling you take a sip of the iced matcha drink and nod, “ The side effects of college and being in relationship.”

“ Boy trouble again?” Yoongi ask.

“ Unfortunately yes. But I don’t want to talk about it,” you pout.

“ We don’t have to but just know I’m here if you just need to talk about anything,” Yoongi pats your shoulder. You give him a grateful smile. Then you see Jungkook walk towards you and you look away hoping he just walks by but he doesn’t.

Jungkook sits down on the empty seat next to you taking the drink from your hand and throwing it away in the trash can next to the table. Yoongi eyebrow arches and he laughs. “ Dude what’s your problem?” Yoongi asks.

“ You are…stop buying drinks for my girlfriend,” Jungkook tells him. “ It’s so fucking annoying to see you flirt with her.” Yoongi is about to say something but he stops himself when you raise your hand in protest.

“ I’m sorry Yoongi but I’m going to have to talk to you later,” you excuse yourself. Yoongi nods his head and he gets up walking towards the exit. Jungkook stares at you, “ Jungkook what’s wrong with you?” There’s disappointment in your face.

“ No Y/n, you don’t get to look at me like that. Why is it okay for you to act like that but not me? You didn’t like Yujin having my hoodie you made me embarrass her but I can’t toss that fucking drink he gave you. If you want a drink just ask me,” he sighs in frustration.

“ Jungkook I don’t want to ask you for you to buy me drinks. I want you to think of me and then buy me drinks,” you point at the iced matcha in the trash can. “And I’m sorry, I’m so sorry Jungkook that I made you and Yujin embarrassed…I’m sorry for making you get that hoodie that I bought for you,” you get up annoyed grabbing your things and walking out the building.

Jungkook follows you out. “ What the fuck do you want from me Y/n?” Jungkook ask desperately. He reaches out to hold your arm turning your body so you can look at him. “ It’s so hard dating you, it feels like I’m walking on a thin line.”

“ Then let’s stop for reals this time” you say in monotonous voice trying to save face. Not wanting to look hurt by his words. It was going to end eventually so why not air everything out.“ You’re going to New York in two months, you’ll have your fun with girls over there,” you give him a blank face.

Jungkook looks surprised and he lets go of your arm.“ Fuck,” he pushes his hair back in frustration. “ I was going to tell you sooner but I knew if I told you earlier this would end.”

“ So you were just going to wait until the day of your flight and tell me ‘ Hey Y/n I’m going to New York, bye.’” You wanted to know his thought processes, he could’ve told you from the moment he applied for the internship but he didn’t. Maybe things could’ve been different if he told you sooner. Or maybe he just wanted to string you along until he had to face reality. There’s so many questions you want to ask but don’t because you know this relationship was going to end.

“ Yeah…no,” his eyes scrunched in confusion not knowing what to say. “ I’m sorry—”

“ Don’t be,” you shake your head. Apologies weren’t going to fix anything. The uncertainty from you and Jungkook was going to end this relationship regardless.

—-

Days go by with not communicating with each other. You guys share a lecture together and sit with your other friends and Jungkook does the same. There’s awkward eye contact between you two and you quickly glance away.

The days turn into weeks and you guys pretend that you guys were nothing more than strangers. There’s a suddenness of wanting to reach out to him but you withhold, either stopping yourself from reaching your hand out to his when he’s walking in front of you or tossing your phone on the side of your bed to not text him.

After graduation you see him one last time at a graduation party that Taehyung is hosting. He’s talking to some of his friends and you listen from a good distance hiding behind a wall. Jungkook genuinely sounds happy about going to New York. After a while you walk away and go outside to get fresh air, liking the way everything just becomes still and silent. It only last a few minutes until you hear the slider door open, turning you see Jungkook approaching.

His hands are shoved in his pockets, “ Hey,” he stands next to you.

“ Hi,” you say back. There’s an uncomfortable silence and you anxiously wait for him to say something else.

“ I’m leaving next week,” Jungkook looks at you carefully. “ I’ll be there for two years maybe longer if I decide I like it or new opportunities show up,” he bites his lip nervously playing with his lip ring.

There’s a cold gush of wind that makes you shiver, and you curse yourself for not wearing a sweater. Your hands rub your arms trying to keep yourself warm. “ I never got to tell you but congratulations,” you say sincerely. “ I hope you have great experience…I really mean it. And this will probably be the last time I’ll see you I just want to say—“

“ Y/n…” he interrupts you. His eyes plead for you to stop, he doesn’t want to hear that this will be the last time. There some part of him that hopes you’ll stop him from leaving.

“… I won’t hate you for moving on and forgetting me. I want you to enjoy yourself out there and in the future.” You smile at him and smiles back. Finally making eye contact with each other. “ Just don’t get another relationship with a toxic person like me,” you joke.

Jungkook laughs loudly, eyes scrunching, “ Likewise.” He suddenly pulls off his hoodie and handing it to you noticing how cold you look. You shake your head but he’s relentless and pulls it over your head. His hands push some of the hair strands that fall on your face, figuring this is the last time he’ll touch you like this. “ Y/n, I wish you well too. Don’t go for a guy like an asshole like me.”

You feel his warm hands briefly touch your cheeks, “ Yoongi?” You ask jokingly.

Jungkook playfully side eyes you, “ Anyone but him,” he jokes back. His hands drop by his side and he mentally takes picture of your smiling face underneath the stars. There’s a sudden call for his name from the inside of the party. “ I should get going,” he says and points to the inside. “ Goodbye Y/n.” Jungkook says your name softly taking one last glance at you.

Watching him turn and enter the house you say to yourself “ Goodbye Jungkook.” There’s a heavy feeling that dissipates from your body and smile to yourself.

[emogxilbert]

“I love you too, darling.” - Nick Sturniolo one-shot

paring : cg!Nick Sturniolo x little!fem!reader

warnings : PLATONIC.

summary : little!reader gets sick and cg!Nick takes care of you!

word count : 906

—————

Day 1

“Dada..?” You call out from the doorway, sniffling softly and coughing quite frequently.

“Sweetheart?” Nick turned from his computer, spinning around to see you standing there with your favourite teddy in hand.

“Why are you awake?” He asks, obviously concerned as he closed his tabs and stood up, walking towards you.

“‘M cold..” you whine, goosebumps clear on your skin.

As Nick made it to you, he raises his warm hand and places it on your forehead, before moving down to your cheek.

“Are you feeling okay, honey?” he asked softly as his other hand tucked some loose hair behind your ear.

“Wanna cuddle.” you say as a matter of fact, taking his hand in yours and dragging him to your room, your movements sluggish and slower than usual.

“Baby…you’re burning up.” said Nick, going after you and looking at your swaying body in concern.

As you both make it to your room, you quickly get under the covers and whine, looking at Nick with a pleading look.

And of course, Nick can never resist your puppy eyes, so he gets in bed with you, pulling you closer to him.

You can feel the heat radiating off of him, which makes your cold body feel slightly better.

“Stowy time?” you ask quietly.

Nick looks down at you, slowly rubbing your back and smiled.

“Of course sweetheart.”

With the nice sensation of Nick rubbing your back and his smooth voice, you fell asleep.

Day 2

Nick had stayed by your side the entire night, making sure you stayed comfortable and hydrated. He checked on you regularly, listening for any sounds that might indicate you were feeling worse, before finally deciding to go asleep as well.

When morning came by, he woke up to the sound of your soft, laboured breath.

Nick slowly sneaks his hand off of you and sits up, running a hand through his messy hair looking down at you.

He wasn’t sure if you were still little, but due to the amount of stress you’re been getting recently, the possibility is pretty big.

“Wake up, baby…” he mumbled, gently rubbing your arm with his hand.

He watched as you stirred and whined a little, letting out a soft chuckle.

“Morning, sleepyhead…” Nick said with a soft smile.

He reached out a hand and gently brushed some hairs off your forehead.

“How are you feeling? Any better?” he asked, a hint of concern still in his voice.

You looked at him and pouted, making Nicks heart melt.

He was right, still little.

“Feel tired..” you mumble, pushing yourself against Nicks stomach, searching for the warmth and comfort.

Nick wrapped his arms around you, gently caressing your hair and feeling your temperature, before kissing your forehead.

“I bet you’re tired..” he said, resting his chin on top of your head.

“You really scared me last night.”

You frown and look up at him.

“Me scare ‘ou?” you ask, confused.

Nick smiled softly as he looked down at your confused expression. He gently brushed a strand of hair away from your face, his other hand resting on the small of your back.

“Yeah, sweetheart,” he said. “You scared me last night. Seeing you feeling so sick and in pain like that… it really worried me.”

You look at him and frown, a bit of self-hatred and also worry evident in your voice.

“Sowwy.” you mumble, scooting away and turning your back on him.

Nick notices your frown and self-hatred, his heart aching as he sees you pull away from him. He gently reaches out a hand, placing it on your shoulder and rolling you back over, making you face him again.

“No, don’t apologize, princess…” he said softly.

“You have nothing to be sorry for. It’s not your fault that you’re sick… I’m not mad, okay?”

“Not mad?” you ask, still scared of being a bother.

Nick's expression softened even more as he heard the fear in your voice. He scooted closer, gently taking your hands in his.

“No, honey, I’m not mad. Not even a little bit.”

Nick said, gently squeezing your hands.

“I could never be mad at you for being sick. It’s not your fault, sweetheart. You’re not a burden.”

“Otay.” you smile softly, hiding your face in Nick’s chest as he smiles.

Nick spent the rest of the day taking care of you.

He stayed by your side, bringing you water, making sure you were comfortable and warm, and just being there for you. He made sure you had everything you needed and checked in on you frequently to see how you were feeling.

He didn't leave your side, even bringing you some light snacks throughout the day to see if you could keep anything down. He just wanted you to feel cared for and loved, and to help you feel better as quickly as possible.

When night time finally came, you were in bed and Nick was sitting next to you on a chair, reading your favourite story book.

“I vuw u dada..” you mumble, interrupting his talking.

Nick felt a little surprised but quickly softened his eyes.

Despite having heard that word from you more times than he can count, it always hit him in a way.. a way that can’t really be described.

It made him feel special.

“I love you too, darling.” Nick smiled.

It didn’t take long for you to fall asleep to his soothing tone.

[starsomens]

Hi!!! I absolutely LOVE your dad Noah fics🥹

Could we possibly get a Keaton delivery/hospital one? And see how Noah was through all her complications?

i

would be honored. DAD NOAH! please I am not a medical professional, so if i say something that sounds weird or wrong IM SOWWY

Keaton was a lil early compared to Eden. Eden came at exactly 40 weeks, Keaton came at 38 weeks instead. in a way you were a bit concerned by you were okay with it being 2 weeks early, rather than more than 2.

This time you did take the epidural because you had learn the first time even though it was quite an experience to go all natural, you wanted to be a bit more relaxed this time around

When Noah saw the needle that was going in your back then the nurse tells him.....it's actually a tube and he was just

0-0

He held you hand and let you lean on him if you wanted to, he was so focused and honestly concerned about the medication. After it was done he was happy to see you had some relief from the pain and you could at least talk with him to pass the time

Labor had taken a lot longer even. You labored for a day and a half, having a hard time moving past 8 cm. You did EVERYTHING you could think of to get past 8cm Noah could feel this would be a bit bumpy and you had never seen him as worried as he was now

He did happen to catch the doctor in the hall while he was getting some air for a minute and asked what the risks were, and if it went any further with no progression, they may have to do an emergency C-Section

Luckily on the verge of almost being taken to emergency surgery, Keaton had decided it was enough drama and was now in position to be delivered.

I never mentioned this before but I will now, Noah is VERY particular on details and how you are treated and tended to in the hospital. You don't want to deliver on your back? He makes sure everyone knows. Doesn't like how the nurse is working with you and not listening to you? Out! He asks for another!

The delivery was a success, you had little pain compared to Eden and Noah was over the moon to have another baby. After cleaning up, health tests and some check ins, you went to sleep for a while and he watched Keaton and made sure to send LOTS of pics to his friends and also explained that he honored his friend by naming him Keaton

Keaton was under some monitoring because he was born a couple of weeks early but then your complications came the nurse had asked how you were feeling how the epidural was wearing off....it wasn't well it was but not how it was supposed to.

It took much longer than expected for you to have feeling again and even when you did get feeling back it was hard to walk. Very wobbly, very weak, Noah helped you walk or just straight up carried you

Once you were out he put you in the car and carried you inside. He was strong for both of you but he was very worried and dotting on you just wanting you to get better

He made sure you had plenty of bedrest and he was the one getting up and making you stay in bed

but he still helped you to exercise and make sure you were making progress with walking

[zaraomarrogers]

Always And Forever - 17

Pairing: Steve Rogers x Fem!reader

Warnings: Angst, Fluff, mentions of mental health. 18+ content, MINORS DNI

WC: 11,876

A/N: I know its been the longest since I updated. I've been swamped with school, work and life. This chapter is step one in wrapping up this story. please reblog and comment and let me know what you think.

The sun poured through the wall-sized window of Steve’s bedroom, casting an orange glow around the peacefully sleeping parents who were blissfully unaware of their almost four-year old’s presence in the room. Malcolm whooped to see Y/n wrapped in Steve’s arms and let out a squeal when he realized that his mama was here with him at his daddy’s house. He jumped on the bed and tried to fit himself in between his parents but much to his disappointment there wasn’t any space for him.

“Daddy wakey… move…” he nudged at Steve’s side, “wakey time, daddy. I wana hug mama.”

Steve groaned and pressed Y/n further into him, “Go back to sleep, buddy. It’s too early.” He mumbled sleepily.

“Mama… wakey… daddy’s not moving. I wan’be with you.” Malcolm whined and shook Y/n. He moved to straddle her, slightly kicking Steve in the stomach. Steve hissed in pain and opened one eye to see his son annoyed at his parents. Y/n had already started stirring in her sleep, she encircled Malcolm and laid him on top of her. Kissing his head and cheeks, she felt him smiling and tracing her face with his small finger.

“G’morning Mal-pal.” she said groggily.

“Mama, why you sweeping he’e?” he asked innocently.

“…. Cause I was tired, so I stayed here.” Y/n hesitated for a moment before answering his question.

“Daddy’s mean. He’s not giving me space.” He pouted, making Steve and Y/n giggle.

“Y/n, I think we should stay home today because Mal thinks I’m mean. No more going to Aquarium.” Steve moved up a little to balance the weight on his elbow.

“Daddddyyyyy…. No faiw.” Malcolm whined and looked up to see his mama. jY/n gave him a pressed lip smile.

“Mama, daddy’s be mean again. He no faiw.”

“Mal-pal, daddy’s kidding. And he’s not being mean, he’s just teasing you.”

Malcolm looked at Steve who just laughed and leaned in to kiss him on the forehead.

“I’m sorry bubba, I was just joking.”

“Why sowwy daddy? I’m no mad. I wove you.” Malcolm kissed Steve on the cheek.

“I love you too, bubba, so much.” Steve’s heart was filled with warmth, leaning in he placed a kiss on Malcolm’s head then on Y/n’s forehead and let his lips linger on for a while. Their eyes met once Steve pulled away, and they both smiled. Y/n gently caressed the side of his face, scratching his stubble. Malcolm witnessed the affectionate moment between his parents and decided to get his mama’s attention back on him. He kissed her on the chin and then on the nose.

“Why daddy kiss you, mama?” Steve let out a laugh and started to get up from the bed.

“Can’t believe my own child would be jealous of me.” He muttered, kissing Y/n again on the forehead and made his way to the bathroom.

“It’s okay, Mal, daddy can kiss mama.” She answered him muttering the latter part, then immediately redirecting his attention. “Did you go to pee when you wake up?”

“No mama. Not feewing pee.”

“Sweetheart, you gotta try. C’mon, let’s go brush your teeth and sit on the potty.”

“Mama, noooo.”

“C’mon, c’mon, c’mon… I’ll make us breakfast then we get ready…” she held him in her arms and walked to the bathroom that was in hallway.

Fifteen minutes later, Malcolm and Y/n emerged from the bathroom, with a huge scowl on the little boy’s face and a victory smirk on his mama’s. A freshly showered Steve joined them in Malcolm’s room, laughing at the scene in front of him. Malcolm was only in his spiderman underwear, his small arms were folded on his chest and the look of grimace on his beautiful chubby face.

“C’mon Mal pal, you need to put your clothes on…” Y/n said exasperatedly.

“No mama, I don’t wana weaw this one.” He pointed at the blue Paw Petrol T-shirt. “I want my gween shirt.” He was still in the far-right corner of the room.

“But you didn’t pack the Dino shirt, baby. I showed you all the clothes before putting them in your backpack.”

Malcolm just huffed and ran to Y/n, wrapping himself on her leg. She bent down to his level, engulfing him in a comforting hug. “It’s okay if you don’t want to put this shirt on, you wana see the other shirts we packed?”

Malcolm nodded slightly, moving his head to show his watery eyes to Y/n, “I know you’re upset honey, but don’t worry we’ll find you other favorite shirt.” She smiled, kissing the top of his head. As she started to get up, Malcolm’s hold on her tightened, “don’t go mama, daddy pwease bwing my backpack.”

Steve, who was still there, entertained with his son’s antics, obliged immediately and brought the backpack over to Y/n where she was now sitting on the shag rug.

“Thanks daddy.”

“You’re welcome, bubba. Do you want me to start prepping breakfast? Scrambled eggs and bacon?” Steve asked Y/n.

“Sure, we’ll do eggs.” She smiled. Steve ruffled Mal’s hair and made his way to the kitchen. Breakfast was not very eventful; Malcolm was back to his happy and chirpy self on the table. Mostly, he was excited to visit the Aquarium with his parents and delighted to eat his favorite breakfast made by his dad. They made a brief trip to Y/n’s house for her to get changed into something comfortable. She was still in Steve’s clothes, her outfit from the other night was way too formal for the day out.

Alice gave her an amused look when she opened the door for them and saw Y/n, she didn’t say anything, but her smile followed by a wink was pretty much telling. Y/n quickly changed into comfy jeans and a top and joined Steve and Malcolm in the living room where Malcolm was animatedly telling his Nono and Nana about his trip. Steve and Y/n decided on not bringing up the Eleanor topic to anyone yet. Though, he told her about having a conversation with his lawyer Natasha during the car ride to her house.

The Boston Aquarium trip was fun and memorable for them. Malcolm enjoyed it there greatly, and his parents got a moment to breathe and unwind. Y/n was still frazzled but Steve’s gentle squeezes and his continuous reassuring I’m here, I won’t let anything happen to Mal kept her from going off the deep end. Steve knew she was holding up on her fear and distress and he was doing the best he could to keep himself composed and not to go after Eleanor and rip her head off. He was angry, no, he was raging inside. Malcolm’s elated face was what gave them both a little sense of peace.

“Mama, when we go daddy’s house next?” Malcolm asked, snuggled up in Y/n as she was putting him to sleep.

“Whenever you want…”

“Ummmmm mowow’ …”

“You’re going to be there tomorrow, remember daddy picks you up after work.” She smiled at her son.

“But I wana don’t come back. You pick up me in the night.”

Y/n chuckled and placed a kiss on Malcolm’s forehead and nose, “You can stay at daddy’s place on the weekend.”

“… but mama I wana stay evewy day. I’ve so much fun with daddy.”

“You don’t enjoy here at Nono’s house?”

“Mmmm, I do but… mowe fun with daddy. Why we not wive with daddy? Mo’gan daddy an’ mommy wive in the same house. She has fun aww the time.”

Y/n looked at her baby’s face longer than she should have; Malcolm’s innocence broke her heart. He deserved to live with both his parents, in a house filled with love and happiness. And Y/n felt she was failing to provide it for her son. With a shaky voice and heavy heart, she gently tightened her grip around Malcolm, kissing all over his face.

“Sweetheart, I promise, we’ll figure something out, but it’s going to take time and I want you to be patient and nice to me and daddy. I promise daddy and I will do everything to give you a home you deserve, my love. We will try our best to be the happiest family for you… just be patient, okay… Daddy and I love you very much.” She kissed his face over and over, trying her best to keep her tears at bay.

“C’mon, close your eyes and start your rest, love. Mama will be here when you wake up.”

“Night night, mama.”

“Night, sweetheart.”

A single tear slid down her eye and absorbed in the pillow as she gently rubbed Malcolm’s back. Within ten minutes, he was out like a light. Y/n placed a light kiss on his cheek and sat up, resting against the bed head.

Steve, you up? She sent a text message to Steve and got his reply immediately.

Yup! Everything good?

Yeah! I think I might be calling in tomorrow. Just wana spend time with Mal. I’m keeping him at home.

And before you bug me with billion questions, I’m perfectly fine… She added in the next text knowing that Steve would worry about her.He sent an eye roll emoji to the latter part of her message.

I’m afraid your presence is important for the meeting tomorrow. I would have done it myself, but you understand the trends better than me and it is also your area of expertise.

Hm! I would do it online…

It’s an in-person meeting. I signed the notification on Friday, requesting everyone to be there.

Fine!

I’m sorry Y/n… but you can take a day off on Tuesday if you want. Remember we’re meeting Nat…

Yeah, I remember. And it’s okay I’ll be there.

Alright! I’ll see you tomorrow.

Yes, you will.

Good night.

Night.

Sleep didn’t come easy to both Steve and Y/n that night. Anticipation of what would happen and how things would go further kept swirling in their minds. Monday came and went in a blur, Y/n was exhausted by the end of the day and so was Steve. Tuesday came by with a lot of anxious nerves and snapping on Y/n’s part. Starting with Malcolm, when he was getting fussy after knowing that Steve wouldn’t be picking him up and he had to come back home with Nana because mama and daddy were working late. As expected, he threw some tantrums during breakfast and instead of calming him down and offering him negotiation like Y/n usually did, she yelled at her little boy. She had him have a full melt down, with sinking heart she put him in the car seat and drove them to the daycare while Malcolm was still cranky. He had another outburst where the teacher had to get him from Y/n’s arms. He wasn’t ready to let go of his mama, but Y/n didn’t stay longer to see him getting comforted by Alice who was called in by his teacher because the little boy wasn’t letting anyone touch him.

With the heaviest of heart, she was trying to focus on the designs spread across the table, but she couldn’t. Steve, Wanda, Pepper, and a few other colleagues who worked closely with her noticed her grumpiness and when Steve finally cornered her, she broke down. She was a sobbing mess in Steve’s arms, “I yelled at him. I hurt my Mal… I’m such a horrible mother. He’s going to hate me… he’d never love me, Steve… I became my mom.”

Steve let her cry in his chest, not once caring about his expensive shirt now stained with tears and mascara. He kept rubbing circles on her back and when he was sure that she was all done venting out, he made her sit on the couch and kneeled in front of her, placing his hands on her knees he made her look at him.

“Hey, you are not your mother! Malcolm is lucky to have you as his mom…”

“Steve, you – “

“I’m not finished yet. I know it is hard and trust me I’m scared too… I’m scared of losing you and Mal. That’s the biggest and only fear I have. And I promise you that I won’t let anything happen to our son.” He squeezed her knee and continued, “Nat is a great lawyer, the best I’ve known. I’m sure she’d come up with best solutions to completely eradicate Eleanor out of our lives.”

Y/n’s breath hitched at the mention of her mother’s name, she didn’t want her in their lives but the thought of cutting down everything from her abuser of a mother still hurt her heart.

“I’m here for you, Y/n. I will always be. Here…” he handed her some Kleenex, “c’mon, we’re gonna grab lunch, pick our boy up and head straight to my house.” He said getting up and walking up to his desk to turn off his computer.

“Wait, I thought we’d meet Natasha here, or some diner may be?”

“Nope, she suggested if we make it look like a personal trip for her.”

“Gosh! Why didn’t you tell me before? I would have saved Mal from a meltdown.”

“Well, Mal is still not part of the meeting but… I don’t care.” He shrugged. “C’mon, it’s already quarter after one, Taco Bell would probably be packed. Would you mind placing the takeout order?”

“Steve, I – I … what’re you doing?”

“What do you mean? You want to order something else?”

“Tch how are you so calm?”

“I’m not Y/n! I’m furious. I’m so fucking done with the mess I’ve created and now the two of you are dragged into it. I can’t wait to put everything out on the table… I know it’s going to get dirty for me and I won’t ask you to keep up with all the ugliness of my life, but I think I’m ready to know what happened four and a half years ago. I’m done drowning in my own guilt… I need answers.”

His beautiful blue eyes were shining with unshed tears, pain and anger clearly reflecting through them. In two strides, she covered the distance between them, and circled her arms around his neck pulling him into a hug.

“I want to be there for you too, Steve. I’m so glad that you’re finally looking for the answers.” She pulled away, and held his hand in hers, giving it a gentle squeeze, “Thank you… thank you for being in our lives. Mal and I are grateful to have you…” She smiled with glossy eyes.

“Don’t thank me… I’ve done nothing… I wish I could protect you and Mal from everything that’s happening… I really wish I could…” A pain-stricken smile spread on his lips.

“Hey, you are doing your best… we’re gonna get through this… together.”

“Together.”

After taking a moment to themselves and shook off some anxiety, they both headed out together. Malcolm was ecstatic to see his parents, he ran straight into Y/n’s arms and stayed there while they talked to his teacher who informed them that he refused to eat both his morning snack and lunch and had been upset following the morning events.

“I’m sorry Mal-pal, I didn’t mean to upset you… it’s just…” She whispered in his ears while he was still clinging to her.  Steve was setting out the lunch on the table.

“… it’s just… I’ve been…” She was struggling to explain her behavior to her son so that he would understand. “Would you forgive me… for not being good to you?” She sat him on the kitchen counter and looked into his beautiful blue eyes expectantly.

“I’s okay mama. I fowgive you.” Malcolm gave her a toothy smile that made Y/n cry in front of her son. She was smiling through her tears, placing feathery kisses on Malcolm’s face, whispering I’m sorry and I love you.

“Mama, no cwy. I’m okay. I’m not mad. I wove you too.” Malcolm’s small hands cupped her face, bringing her to his level he blew raspberries on her nose, her cheeks, her lips, and her forehead causing her to burst into giggles. Steve recorded the moment on his phone, with a grin on his face.

In a few minutes, the room was filled with their shared laughter, the tension from earlier had dissipated into thin air like it wasn’t even there to begin with. Steve was cleaning the table when the doorbell rang, he knew it would be Natasha, he hollered over to inform Y/n about Nat’s arrival.

“Who’s Nat?” Malcolm asked, shifting from one foot to another.

“She’s daddy’s friend. You’re gonna see her when we go down. Be nice, okay Mal-pal?” Y/n was gently rubbing his wet hair with the towel.

“Why is she hewe?” he dropped the towel that was wrapped around his small frame.

“Mama and daddy have important work things to discuss with her. You can play in your room while we talk to her.” She put some baby lotion on his face and back.

“But I wana pway with you and daddy.”

“Honey, you can play with us after we have a big people talk.”

Malcolm pouted, “How many minutes she go?”

“In one hour, maybe two. I need you to be my good boy and listen to what I say. You might get an ice cream after dinner…”

He gasped loudly, “Ice cweam? Yayyy yayy…” he started jumping up and down in excitement.

“That’d be after dinner and only if you listen to mama and daddy.” She smiled, getting a hold of her son. She quickly brushed his slightly damp hair.

“Okie doks, mama… you cute.” He started hopping again.

“What? What’d you just say?” Y/n laughed, tickling him in the belly.

Malcolm’s infectious giggles were heard across the house, making Nat raise an eyebrow in Steve’s direction. She had a wide smirk on her face.

“I can see why you were so desperate to stay in Boston…” Natasha said, taking a sip of water from the glass.

Steve was about to give her a reply when Y/n and Malcolm walked down the stairs. Natasha gave Y/n a mesmerized look.

“Hi… I’m Y/n… nice to meet you…” Y/n shyly introduced herself with a small smile adorning her beautiful face, slightly flushed under Natasha’s stare. Natasha gave her a once over, silently praising her for the way she was carrying herself in fitted work clothes. Y/n was in one of the many Wanda’s creations, with barely- there makeup and hair down in light waves, she was looking ethereal. Nat was finding it hard to tear her gaze away from Y/n, she was good in reading faces and people’s vibes and in that moment the only thing she picked on was the fact that Y/n was indeed a loveable person.

“H-hey… so good to finally meet you. You really are so beautiful. Steve had gushed over you non-stop and now I see why he’s been such a hopeless lunatic… you’re gorgeous.” Natasha pulled her in for a hug.

“Thanks… for being so generous… I guess.” Y/n looked between Nat and Steve as she pulled back from the slightly awkward hug.

“Mal-pal, say hi…” she ushered the little boy in front of her who was hiding behind her legs.

“Hi Nat.”

“Aww… is he, are you Malcolm? Your dad talks about you and your mom all the time.”

Y/n looked towards Steve the same time he glanced at her. They smiled, holding each other’s gazes and it didn’t miss Natasha’s eagle eyes.

“My mama’s a’so cute, and daddy’s funny. He pways with me.”

“Aww… I love him already, he’s a mama’s boy.” Nat handed him a shopping bag she brought with her. It had toys for Malcolm.

“Oh, you didn’t have to…”

“Yes, I did… c’mon, it’s just a small present. By the way, he looks so much like you Y/n. Is Y/n okay or should I call you Ms. Carter?”

“Y/n is fine. And Thanks, you’re one of the few who thinks he looks like me.”

“Mamaaa, caws and fire twucks…” Malcolm squealed loudly. He opened the presents and showed them to Y/n and Steve.

“Wow Mal, what do you say when you get presents?”

“Thank you, Nat.,” he shyly said.

“You’re welcome.” Natasha smiled.

“C’mon, go play with your toys, buddy. We’re right here if you need anything.” Steve gently kissed Malcolm’s head.

“He’s just like you.” Nat cooed, seeing Malcolm leave the room.

“Yeah, but he looks a lot like me…” Steve looked between the two women who had wide smirk on their faces.

“Whatever makes you sleep at night, Rogers.” Nat raised an eyebrow, earning a chuckle from Y/n.

“You really need to get over yourself, Steve.” Y/n sassed.

“Wow!” Steve rolled his eyes playfully.

“… but seriously guys, you’ve made a beautiful baby. He’s a perfect mix of both of you.” Nat said getting comfortable on the couch. Steve and Y/n shared a sweet smile.

“Thanks Nat.”

“You’re welcome. So... you guys ready for some intense talk? I mean, I don’t want to scare you but Y/n, I hope you’re okay with it because a lot of it involves your mother.”

“Yeah, I’m okay with whatever you have to say.” Y/n nodded.

Nat inhaled deeply, “First things first, I need you guys to be completely honest with whatever you say. This is going to be a sensitive case for us. I ran a background check on Eleanor Rhodes – your mother, I didn’t have to because I already know a piece of shit, she is…”  Y/n shifted in her seat, as much as she was trying to keep her face expressionless, the mention of her mother brought discomfort in her demeanor, and it didn’t go unnoticed by Nat.

“I’m sorry, Y/n, but… I know it is difficult for you…”

“It’s okay Natasha, you don’t have to apologize. I know the kind of woman my mother is… but I’m here, aren’t I?”

Gently nodding her head Nat continued, “Steve had kind a filled me in about what happened on the weekend, and I know about your relationship with her as well. Knowing her tactics, I would want you two to fill in the legal documentation for Malcolm’s custody…”

“I have already made the changes in the documents when Steve decided to stay here. He is in Mal’s record as his biological father.” Y/n politely interrupted Nat.

“Now, that’s awesome! Moving forward, I want to ask something? How is your relationship other than being Malcolm’s parents? Since you’re sharing the workspace as well… are you two platonic or there’s some resentment? Y/n, you go first…”

“I think we’re friendly now. It didn’t start off as ideally as it is now. I mean, obviously, I had concerns… I was afraid to let him back in our life but eventually I forgave him… for Malcolm.” She paused, and glanced towards Steve who had his eyes glued on her with a sad smile on his face. “I don’t want Malcolm to grow up not knowing his dad… I’d never seen him happy and cheerful the way Steve’s presence impacted him. I wanted him to experience all the joys of life with his dad, that I hadn’t have with mine.”

“So, you don’t regret your decision of letting Steve part of your life?” Nat knew she had twisted the question a little bit, damn her curiosity of knowing more about her current relationship with Steve.  

“No, I never had any regret making Steve part of Mal’s life… for now, I think we’re good.” Y/n was smart enough to understand Nat’s question and replied to her the way that would leave Nat unsatisfied.

“I’m impressed, Y/n.” She smirked, “You’re a one lucky man, Rogers. She’s a beauty with brain.” She threw a wink in Steve’s direction making Y/n furrow her brows.

“Sorry for being nosy but I’ve been fussing him to make a move on you, he’s just been a thick skull for not doing that. I know you’re dating an extremely hot lawyer, and I’m happy for you, but, damn, you and Steve have a solid history and consider me a fan girl, I totally ship you guys together.”

Y/n gave an incredulous look to Nat who shrugged at her sheepishly and earned a glare from Steve.

“I’m not dating Andy anymore.” Y/n cleared her throat looking from Steve’s wide eyes to Nat’s wide smirk. “Saturday night, we both called it off because we thought it was for the best if we stayed friends. I wasn’t ready and he wanted more…”

“You didn’t tell me.” Steve said in a timid voice.

“I would if I wasn’t so shocked over the reunion with my mom.”

“Yeah, yeah… I’m sorry, I – I …”

“It’s okay Steve. There’s nothing to apologize.”

There was an awkward air in the room, Nat was the first one to clear her throat, “So, moving forward, are you two comfortable with co-parenting?”

“What does it mean? We are co-parenting, Nat!” Steve asked.

“What I mean to ask is, that once either of you start seeing someone else, would co-parenting still be the option you choose? Or would you settle down for custody? Because if that’s the case then you must be aware that you will be going to a legal process. My next question is based on what you’re going to say to me.”

Steve glanced at Y/n who was still deep in thought, a deep frown had formed between her eyebrows.

“It’s okay if you want to take time and think about it. Because Steve was previously linked to Peggy Carter. Whatever they had was very public. My concern, well, I know for sure that Eleanor will use it against you Y/n. I don’t know what she wanted from Steve but she’s desperate to get there and she won’t hesitate to put you on the line if it means that she gets what she wants.”

“I had called off the fucking engagement, I did everything I could to remove her completely from my life. I took the fuckin’ blame for ending it, I don’t understand why we are dragging Y/n into this?” Steve was exasperated.

“We’re not dragging Y/n, she is going to use every dirty tactic in the law book to bring you down. You’d hurt her ego. Whatever malicious plan she’d have, you’d ruined it. I’m sorry to say but Y/n and Malcolm would be the collateral damage. It is your fight, Steve.”

“Do you think I don’t fuckin’ know that? I know we’re in this mess because of me and I honestly want to change that, Nat. I just don’t know what to do… I can’t live with myself without getting all the answers.” Steve sadly looked at Nat. His worry lines were visible, and shoulders tensed. “I’m sorry Y/n, I know apologizing is not enough – “

“I know Steve, trust me I know. And I know it’s hard for you but I’m here, willing to fight whatever it is, with you.” she emphasized on with you.

Y/n didn’t give Steve a chance to say more, she shifted in her seat, inhaling a deep breath. “About your question, I think… I’m sure I wouldn’t want to change anything about co-parenting with Steve. I’m sure we’ll figure out something, when or if either of us would be ready to have a relationship.” She looked at Steve expectantly to which he nodded.

“I second that. We’re on the same page.”

“That’s a relief.” Nat chuckled, “It means less work for me.”

“Does people at your workplace know that the two of you have a son?”

“My assistant knows, she was babysitting Mal the day he met him for the first time. She was there.” Y/n told Nat.

“Do you think she had told other staff? I know gossips blow faster than the wind.”

“I honestly don’t know but even if she had, I don’t think I’d be worried about that. So far, Steve and I have been strictly professional about it.”

“Well, it’s time to let them know that Malcolm is made purely with your love and not a product of a one-night stand.” Nat carefully looked at Steve and Y/n, “I know it sounds ridiculous, but I want you guys to play safe here. With Eleanor I can’t guarantee how filthy it gets and if things go south and a judge gets involved, we’d need testimonies to prove a solid background. But don’t worry about it, I’ll try my best to take care of it. Meanwhile, just lay your groundwork.”

“Do you have any suggestions, Nat? I mean, we’re putting a very personal part of our lives out there… it’s not exactly very comfortable.” Steve asked.

“Just lay it out there in a subtle way, like… I don’t know, may be…” Nat paused for a moment and continued, “… may be throw a party, invite them over… give them hints of what you two had, a relationship, a connection… honestly, I don’t know. This is something PR handles, if you want, I can loop in Gamora, she handles our PR.” She looked at them expectantly.

“Okay, I’ll take care of it.” Steve said, taking a sip from his beer.

“Are you sure about digging it?” Nat said in a serious tone.

“Yes. More than ever! I need to know what happened…” his frown deepened, and he looked towards Y/n who just nodded encouragingly.

“You deserve to know the truth Steve, and it’s about time you stop running from the...”

“I wasn’t running Nat, I was just… “he cut off Nat in the middle but couldn’t continue talking, a lump formed in his throat, and he let his head down fixing his stare on his open palms. “… the guilt’s been eating me alive…”

He murmured under his breath; Y/n looked at him sadly, not sure how to make him feel better.

Nat heaved a sigh, “Do you want me to document everything I’ve known so far as your statement, Steve? Something you might want to add.”

“Yes please. I’ve told you exactly what happened that night.”

“Yeah, he told me over drinks in a very colorful language.” Nat smirked looking at Y/n who just smiled half-heartedly.

“Okay, le’me go through it one more time and then I’ll get out of here.” Nat rubbed her palms together and sat straight, “So the night starts with your graduation party, everyone was there. And by everyone, means half of the people from your college, right? And you’ve had everything set up at the harbor front. Sarah and Bucky helped you in everything…” Y/n frowned; she didn’t know that part of the story. She looked at Steve in confusion. From his peripheral, Steve could feel her gaze, but he kept his eyes glued to the floor.

“… plan was to snuck Y/n out from the party, and then you were supposed to drive down to the harbor where you had planned to propose to her.” Y/n gasped loudly, getting Nat to look at her, “But once Y/n left you at the bar…. Y/n, you, okay? Do you know something else?” Nat asked Y/n in a professional tone.

Steve sucked in a breath, internally cursing Nat for bringing up the proposal part for Y/n to know. It wasn’t exactly a pleasant memory for him, the ring he had bought for her was still in the top drawer of his closet, a reminder of his epic failure.

“Umm I think I need some air… You carry on Nat.” She got up, in her hurry to leave the room her knee collided with the coffee table, a painful hiss escaped her lips.

“Y/n… You okay.”

 “I’m okay, I’m okay…” She held her hand up, signaling Steve to not get up from his seat and made a beeline to the kitchen door that opened in the patio.

Nat’s eyes were fixed on her figure and once she saw her figure disappeared, Steve snarled at her, “What the fuck were you thinking Nat?”

“Thank me later, Rogers. I just did a favor, besides how long were you planning to keep it from her?” a wide satisfactory smirk adorned her beautiful face.

“It wasn’t really an important detail, not after what happened. It doesn’t matter now.”

“It does! Every single detail that you think is not worth mentioning is important when you’re preparing to file a case against someone. You have no idea how things could get ugly, its fucking Eleanor we’re talking about.”

“Damn it…” Steve muttered under his breath.

“Go, talk to her.” Nat said with a lope- sided grin. “She could be expecting you, now shoo…”

“Nat… I don’t know, it’s not easy.”

“Since when you have been looking for easy? Go!”

Steve shook his head and walked towards the patio, his heart hammering in his chest. He gently opened the door and stepped outside, seeing her back towards him. She turned around to look at him, and he stopped dead in his tracks.

“Y/n… I - I can explain…” his throat went dry.

“N-no, Steve, just for once stop explaining things to me.” She frowned but her voice was wavering. She took a small step toward him. “… for once stop being contrite for everything you do.” She chuckled painfully, “I don’t know what I’m trying to say here… I don’t know…” she came closer to him, placing her palms gently on his chest, “You bought a ring for me?” Her eyes were glistening with tears, but she had a smile on her face.

“Yeah, I did.” He whispered; his face was mirroring hers. Teary eyes and a beautiful smile. She circled her arms around his neck and pulled him in a hug, he welcomed the warmth of her embrace tucking his head in the crook of her neck. They relished in each other’s arms, gentle squeezes, and quiet whimpers as if they were back to their youth where the only concern was to stay together no matter what. There was so much to say but they both opted to just be in each other’s proximity.

“When were you going to tell me about the ring?” Y/n pulled back a little to look straight into his eyes.

“Never!” came his prompt answer.

“Why?” She frowned.

“I don’t know, Y/n? Things haven’t been perfect for us lately. I still don’t know if we’re us to be honest.”

“I wish I could give you an answer for that.” She looked down sadly.

“Hey! You don’t have to say anything. I totally understand…” He softly lifted her chin making her look into his eyes.

“But now that I know…” She raised an eyebrow, her gaze lingered between his eyes and lips, “…you think it’d make a difference?”

“I like to think it would, but I don’t want you to feel rushed.” He involuntarily leaned into her.

“We’ve got a lot to talk about…” She chuckled lightly. “…with everything going on… I feel like I’m going crazy.” She gently brushed her thumb over the corner of his lips and sighed.

“Don’t worry, we’ll be fine.” He placed a lingering kiss on her forehead. Just then, they both heard a soft knock on the sliding glass door behind them. They turned around to see their little boy’s face pressed into the glass and a small pout on his pushed-up lips. Steve let out a laugh as he stepped towards the door and slid it open.

“Daddy, mama….” Malcolm jumped into Steve’s arms, Natasha making her way behind him with her signature smirk.

“Aunty Nat said she can get me passes for Wegowand in ‘ew Yowk. I’s huge, she said.” He excitedly told Steve and Y/n who came to stand beside him and seeing their son’s excitement. “I wike Aunty Nat.” He whispered the part in Steve’s ear but loud enough for all three adults to hear and laugh.

“Aunty Nat huh?” Steve raised an eyebrow towards Nat who just shrugged and looked at Y/n whose gaze was at her. Y/n returned Nat’s smile and stepped inside the house.

“I hope you don’t mind me bringing up the ring thing… I know it wasn’t my place, but Steve would never…” She paused for a second and looked where Steve and Malcolm were still on the patio laughing at something. “… I just thought you deserve to know that.” Nat rushed the latter.

“How long do you know Steve?” Y/n asked softly.

“Just last four years.”

“Mhmm...” Y/n nodded, still having the distinct look on her face. Nat quickly picked up on the awkward silence between the two of them.

“Just so you know, I’m not on the list of women he had slept with.” Nat’s smirk returned; Y/n looked at her quizzically. “We met when I was already engaged to Bruce, besides Steve is not my type.”

“You don’t have to explain, Natasha… I trusted Steve when he told me that you’re a good friend. It’s just – I think you might take the awkwardness in a wrong way but it’s not that… it’s just… you know so much about my mom and I’m just trying to process everything, you know what I mean?”

“I know” a friendly smile appeared on Nat’s face, “… but sugar coating the truth is not me, Y/n. Eleanor’s track record has been perilous, I can’t side-eye that just because she’s your mother.” Nat’s tone was gentle but professional.

“I’m not asking you to do that. It’s just… I – I don’t…” Y/n contemplated in her mind if she should tell Nat about Peggy’s email and what it said or may be just tell Steve first – perhaps ask her dad now that the lawyer was involved it’d be impossible to keep it a secret. No, she couldn’t do that to Steve.

“…” She felt Nat’s eyes on her, waiting intently for her to continue.

“Never mind.” Y/n gave her a fixated smile. “You want something… snacks? Drink? Anything? I’m sorry I didn’t ask earlier.” She opened the pantry and looked for some quick snacks to fix, Nat could easily read her anxiety.

“Oh boy,” Y/n muttered under her breath, “seems like Steve needs to do some groceries. Here, have some pretzels.” She took out the box of pretzels and put it on the counter. “… and some mozzarella sticks, I can air-fry ‘em for you.”   

Nat laughed shaking her head, “You’re offering me Malcolm’s snacks?”

“That’s all I have here.” Y/n chuckled lightly; she took out two glasses from the cupboard, and a bottle of Pinot Grigio from the refrigerator. She poured more than a half glass for both and moved the glass towards Nat.

“Can’t say no to this…” Nat took a sip, “thanks.”

Y/n gulped down the cold liquor in quaff, placing her empty glass in the sink.

“Woah! That was super quick.” Nat raised an eyebrow at her.

“I don’t usually do it but… I think I needed it today.” Y/n said with a tight smile.

“We all do, once in a while.” Nat shrugged taking a sip from her drink. “You know, you really gave him a purpose… to life.” Nat said, looking out the glass door where Steve and Malcolm were now playing with the throwball. Y/n followed her gaze and smiled.

“It’s our little boy… he gave both of us a purpose.”

“For Steve, it’s you and Malcolm.” Nat emphasized on you. “This is the first time in four years I’m seeing Steve genuinely happy and it’s because of you.” Nat softly said with a smile. “… he belongs with you, Y/n.”

Y/n’s gaze moved from the glass door where she was looking at her whole world playing and laughing together, realizing in that moment that Steve had indeed made her life complete, that he had given her Malcolm when he wasn’t there for her. He had left a part of him in the form of their little one, he never abandoned her. She looked at Nat with a smile, “Maybe I should plan a little catch up before we dive further into this mess. Just the two of us, dig you a bit, get some info on my child’s father.”

Nat chortled, shaking her head; “I look forward to that. I’m here for all the juicy stuff.”

“Let’s do it.” They both laughed.

“You sure you can handle that?” Nat winked.

“Try me.” Y/n challenged.

Steve made his appearance with Malcolm on his piggyback laughing hysterically at some silly noise his father just made.

“Mama, daddy don’t know ‘bout old Mcdona’d had a farm… he said unc’e Mcdona’d was his neighbor…” A loud cackle echoed in the room when Steve rolled Malcolm upside down not letting him finish.

“He doesn’t have to know that…” Y/n chuckled narrowing her eyes at Steve at their old joke. Uncle Macdonald was Sarah’s old neighbor and Steve used to hide in one of the branches of his old tree that was crossing the Line fences separating the two houses and landed himself in trouble every time he’d climbed up that big tree.

Y/n crouched down and looked at their giggling son, she opened her arms for him with a smile and Malcolm ran straight into her. Steve took out a bottle of cold water from the fridge, twisting the cap he gulped down the liquid quickly. Nat cleared her throat, and smirked at Steve, “I should be get going.”

“You’re not staying for dinner? We can order something in…” Y/n said standing up, Malcolm in her arms.

“Thank you, Y/n, but maybe next time… got a lot of stuff piled up for me.” She said taking a last sip of her drink.

“Thank you for flying down here, Nat. I appreciate it.” Steve came to stand beside Y/n.

“You better make it worth my while.” Nat said meaningfully, causing Y/n to chuckle and Steve glared at her.

“Hit me up when you’re in mood for gossip.” Nat winked at Y/n and gave her a side hug. Malcolm was still sitting on his mama’s hip. She slid her business card in Y/n’s hand and ruffled Malcolm’s silky hair. “For sure! Thanks Nat.” Y/n smiled.

“Bye sunshine, I’ll see you around.”

“Bye Aunty Nat.” Malcolm put his head in Y/n’s neck, rubbing his eye, evidently tired.

“I’ll keep you guys posted on everything. Meanwhile, if you think of anything worth sharing, just give me a call.” Nat said looking at Y/n to which she nodded.

“I’ll walk you out.” Steve said, “Thanks again, Nat.” he opened the door for her to step out and he followed.

“Don’t worry ‘bout it.” She smiled and pulled Steve in a friendly hug, “Follow your heart, Steve.” She pulled back and smirked at him.

“Yeah, right.” Steve scoffed.

“We have what we have when we have it…” She gave a gentle tug on his forearm.

“Nat, I- I”

“You got this, Steve.” With one last bye Nat walked down the concrete steps and got into Uber.

Steve waved a goodbye and sighed deeply, inhaling the fresh summer air he pondered over Nat’s words follow your heart, he repeated the words in his head and smiled contentedly. He turned around and headed inside the house with a small smile still playing on his lips. Looking around he found Malcolm sprawled on the couch watching Mickey Mouse Clubhouse, Y/n was nowhere in sight.

“Hey bubba, where’s mama?” Steve leaned down kissing Malcolm’s head.

“Dunno.” He shrugged; eyes glued on the TV screen. “Mamaaaa, whe’e you?” He hollered making Steve chuckle.

“In your bedroom.” Y/n’s voice came in.

“Mama in my bedwoom, daddy.”

“Yeah… thanks buddy.” Steve muttered and came in front of Malcolm’s line of vision blocking him from the screen. A small frown immediately formed on his face as he looked at Steve making him laugh out loud.

“Daddy…”

“Yes bubba…” Steve laughed, ruffled his hair, and kept trying to block his view of the screen.

“Daddy, move…” this time he sounded little annoyed, and Steve kissed him hard on the cheeks and got up. He saw Y/n coming down the stairs with Malcolm’s backpack and his socks and shoes in her hands.

“Steve, I tidied up his room…” She put the backpack on the couch and sat down beside Malcolm to put the socks on his feet. “… and I think I don’t have to take the truck Nat got him. He’s got enough toys there… he doesn’t need another set of truck, also I’m leaving some of his clothes here as well.” She got up and walked towards the kitchen, Steve followed her like a lost puppy. Opening the pantry, she gave it a look over and turned around to see Steve leaning against the counter.

“I will send you a list of couple things for Mal so when you do grocery you’d remember.” She quickly typed something in her phone.

“We can go… together… if you want too of course… I mean if its not a problem…” Steve didn’t know why the nerves got him unexpectedly, it wasn’t like he was asking her out on a date. Oh, had he remembered their very first date in high school, his dad drove them to Coney Island. It had been so long, but he still missed his father, he still missed their Saturday morning fishing trips to Brooklyn Bridge Park at the western end – he simply missed his presence, and he knew the value of his own existence in Malcolm’s life. A warm touch of Y/n’s hand brought him out of his reverie, making him clear his throat.

“… earth to Steve…”

“Yeah, I’m here… I’m here…”

“Are you?” she raised her eyebrow playfully.

Steve smiled at her sheepishly, “I kinda spaced out… any way I – “

“Anyway, I’m fine with that. I was thinking we could go on the weekend; I’ve got couple things that I need to do so we’ll check it off the list. And I also wanted to show you what I have planned so far for Mal’s birthday and if you want to put in something that’d be great.” She smiled, leaving him mesmerized. “Oh, before he falls asleep, would you mind dropping us off? My car’s still in the parking lot. I’m talking too much, aren’t I?”

“I like it.” He cleared his throat again, “I mean I like seeing you like that… I love this about you, I – I mean…” Y/n chuckled. “Gosh, I’m making it awkward.” He roughly combed his hair with his fingers.

Y/n took a step forward, “I get what you’re trying to say…” she has her signature smile spread across her beautiful face. Steve inhaled in the scent of her perfume, intoxicating his senses.

“I’m just trying to focus on Mal’s birthday right now. Talking with Nat was a lot more helpful than I thought. I am still scared though… but I’m trying not to get it affect me, Steve… you know what I mean. I just want to make it memorable for him… it is going to be his first birthday with you – you don’t know what it means to him and … to me.” Her voice wavered with emotions and Steve took a step in her direction, closing the distance between them.

“Hey…” He cupped her cheek gently and looked straight into her eyes, his intense gaze holding hers, tears glistening her eyes.

“I’m okay.” She smiled as the tears bubbled over, without wasting a moment Steve wiped it away with his thumb.

“I know.”

“I’m okay and it’s because of you, Steve.” She pulled Steve closer, still holding her, he leaned in to place his forehead against hers.

“Y/n, I…”

“Yeah?”

She blinked, leaning in a bit closer. Steve opened his mouth, but no words came in, he mirrored her action and moved his face closer, her breath tingling his lips. She nodded at his silent permission and Steve gently pressed his lips on hers. The kiss was soft and delicate, like butterfly wings. It was warm and tender and intimate. It was perfect. Her lips were tingling when Steve pulled back, resting his forehead on hers again.

“I love you.” He kissed the tip of her nose.

“Steve, I – “

“You don’t have to say it back. Take your time, as much you want. I’m just letting you know how I feel about you. No rush, sweetheart.”

Y/n nodded, giving him a shy smile. “You, okay?”

“Never better.” He gave her a toothy grin that made her laugh. Shaking her head, she pushed him lightly in his abs and walked towards where Malcolm was still engrossed in the TV screen.

“All done Mal-pal. Go use the bathroom before we leave.”

“No feewing mama.” He whined and went back to watching Mickey Mouse Clubhouse.

“Oh no no… we’re trying buddy.” She made him sit up, but the little boy crawled up to his mama’s lap, resting his head on her shoulder.

“I so tiwed, mama.”

“I’d help you, honey. C’mon…”

Once settled in the car, Steve and Y/n tried to keep Malcolm awake for the twenty-minute journey. Most of the part it was Steve being goofy with his son.

“Mm so yummy Nana.” Malcolm said mouth full of nuggets, his favorite dinner.

“Mal-pal, we don’t talk with food in our mouth.” Y/n whispered in his ear.

“But mama so yummy. I say thank you?” He whispered loudly.

“First, finish the food in your mouth then say thank you.”

“Thank you, Nana. I so…. Ummm… thank you…”

“You’re very welcome, love.” Alice said while laughing with everybody. The dinner passed with light conversation and some laughter here and there.

While Steve put Malcolm to bed, Y/n helped Alice clean up the kitchen. They both were having a light conversation when Steve came down the stairs, ready to leave.

“That was quick.” Alice said wiping her hands with the towel, “Would you like to have some tea?”

“Umm…” Steve seemed a bit tentative.

“You wouldn’t wana miss it.” Y/n came to stand beside Steve after loading the dishwasher. “Alice’s special.” The chirpiness in her voice didn’t go unnoticed by Alice, her smile widened when Steve looked at Y/n the same way Malcolm looked at her – with utmost love. She made a mental note of mentioning it to her husband who still sometimes got over-protective over Y/n.

“Sure.” Steve smiled.

“Ahuh, we could…” she paused, “Do you wana see what I have planned so far for Mal’s birthday? Wait, let me get my iPad.”

“Here you go.” Alice placed a cup in front of Steve as Y/n left to get her device, he thanked her with a smile.

“You can take your cup to her room, you know.” Alice smiled with a raised eyebrow when Steve’s eyes stayed glued to his cup for a bit longer.

“Uhm… Itsokay – a-are you sure?”

“Positive.” Alice laughed; she patted him lightly on the shoulder as she passed him to go to her room. Y/n climbed down the stairs receiving a wink from Alice she asked amused, “Did I miss something?”

“Just Steve being … Steve-vie.” Alice hollered over the staircase making Y/n scrunch her nose.

“So, do you like the tea?”

“Y-yeah it’s great.”

Steve cleared his throat as Y/n stepped into his personal space.

“It’s okay if you don’t like it.”

She gently grabbed the still hot cup from his hold, placing her lips on the same spot where Steve had a sip from. Steve was already having a hard time shaking their brief kiss off his mind and seeing her doing that spasmed his heart with emotions, particularly desire - desire to feel her lips against his again. It was an innocent act on her part, yet he found it extremely hot.

“She brings some old herbs from the flea market to make this tea. Bucky doesn’t like it either.” She placed the cup on the kitchen counter and turned on her iPad. Once she pulled up her illustrations on the screen which were basically a fancy truck themed floor plan of his backyard, she started showing how she wanted to incorporate activity station for kids, cake table and DIY dump truck photo booth with the theme because Malcolm was obsessed with anything with wheels. Steve wasn’t really focused but still responding to her with mhm and great. His eyes were on her face, her long lashes, her lips, and scrunched eyebrows when she pointed to the photo booth corner and told him that she was not sure about it. His eyes fell on her slender neck, her sweet spot just above her clavicle –

“What?” Y/n turned to face him and asked.

“What, what?” He was caught red handed.

“You’re not paying attention” She put away her iPad.

“I am.” He lied, well partially. “… everything is perfect, I don’t want to change anything.” He had a glint of amusement in his eyes.

She frowned at him, “Not even once have I said something about making changes. I just wanted to – you know what, forget it.”  She sighed and walked across the counter to sit on one of the bar stools.

“Hey, I’m sorry…” He came near her, “… I got a little distracted.”

“Yeah, I know. I was that distraction.”

Steve smiled, “You make it sound like it’s a bad thing, it is NOT.”

“Steve, I don’t know.”

“What do you mean?” He sat beside her.

It took her a minute or two to gather her thoughts, he waited patiently trying to read the contort of her face.

“What do you want us to be? You and me?” She was straight to the point.

“It depends on you. I’m happy with whatever you decide us to be.” His answer was prompt.

“I’m asking you, Steve.” She sounded a little frustrated.

“And I just told you. I’m happy to be a part of your life, yours, and Mal’s – in whatever capacity.”

“This is not the answer I want Steve. I want you to tell me what you want moving forward. What do you expect of us?”

Steve smiled and moved his hand to cover hers, intertwining their fingers gently, he leaned forward and placed a feathery kiss on her cheek.

“I want us to be us – however long it takes.” His intense gaze was holding his raw emotions, and she knew that he wasn’t lying. He meant every word he said.

“I’m ready to take the next step, only when you are ready, Y/n. I know it won’t be easy but I’m here and I want to stay by your side for as long as you want me in your life. It does not mean that I want to rush you into making any decision, I just want to be here, with you and our son, in any capacity you allow me to be. I know we have a long a way to go back to what we had before, and I know it in my heart that it’s worth the wait. You set the pace – I’d happily follow your lead, Y/n.”

He smiled, his boyish grin that was just fixed for her and what she did next wasn’t just a reflex of his words, it was her assurance to him – what she wanted. She pulled him close by the neck and placed her lips on to his. Steve responded with equal eagerness. Her lips were soft and inviting, faintly tasted like the tea she just sipped on a couple minutes ago. They parted slightly, allowing his tongue to slip inside causing her to moan softly. Groaning, Steve rose from the bar stool and came to stand between legs without breaking the kiss. Her arms now circled around his neck, pulling him closer. He cupped her cheeks and pressed into her when she tugged at his hair. The kiss was filled with love and passion, it was just about the purity of their feelings for each other. There wasn’t any lust but longing for each other, both wanted to show the other that despite four years between them, their love for each other remained – unscathed and lasting.

Y/n pulled away first, Steve kissed the tip of her nose and then placed his forehead on hers. They both chuckled while catching their breath.

“It was … perfect. Wasn’t it?” Y/n whispered, savoring in their proximity.

“Mhmm…” He kissed her on forehead and pulled away to take his spot on the stool. She took his hand in hers and intertwined their fingers.

“Maybe I don’t want to go back to what we had…” She carefully chose her words, noticing that Steve was holding his breath. “…. Maybe… I just want to move forward as parents first, doesn’t mean that I don’t cherish what we had before. We brought life into this world, that’s how beautiful our relationship was. Mal is precious for both of us and whatever we decide will have direct impact on our son.”

She squeezed his hand softly, smiling she continued, “Parenting is not easy, Steve. It means a lot of sacrifices on our part. It also means disagreements… and it would probably lead us to deal with a sudden outburst and tantrums, he’s handful when he’s sick. We wouldn’t be in our best behaviors all the time, means it comes to a point where we would snap at each other. Sometimes it means ‘us’ would be on the back burner because our child’s needs come first. Back then it was just the two of us, we’d fight, and we made up but now we can’t have arguments in front of him.”

Y/n looked at him expectantly, “I know I’m drawing the worst-case scenarios here, because… somewhere deep inside I’m still the same teenager Y/n who was shit scared of her mother…” her eyes glistened, it took all of Steve’s strength to not hold her in his arms, but he let her continue.

“… that part of me still tricks my brain into believing that nothing good would ever happen to me. And last four years had made it worse.”

“It is not true.” Steve caressed her cheek.

“I know. I have learned to live with it, in fact, according to my therapist I’m doing a pretty good job with handling my anxiety.”

“Therapist?”

“Yup! I had a sever case of post-partum depression and had to seek help… but that’s the story for another day.” She gave him a tight-lipped smile and he nodded in understanding.

“So…” She sighed, “if you’re still willing to be a part of my life, would you be onboard with the bad parts of it too?”

Steve leaned forward, placing a chaste kiss on her lips.

“Is that a, yes?” she smiled on the tingling feeling of his lips.

“You have a doubt?” He pecked her lips again.

She shrugged her shoulders, “could you be more convincing?”

Steve laughed and captured her lips in yet another deep kiss and when they broke apart, she pulled him in a hug. She closed her eyes and breathed into the crook of his neck. The distant smell of his cologne was comforting her, she stayed in his arms savoring the warmth and solace in him. It had been almost five years since she felt at peace and it was in this moment, in his arms, that she finally found tranquility.

“Hey, you with me?” Steve asked in a whisper. She was so quiet that he had to confirm if she was awake.

“Mhmm…” She slightly pulled away to face him. “Can we take ‘us’ slow? Like turtle speed slow? Sneaking around, stealing moments for us and see how it goes?”

“Yes, absolutely.” He returned her smile with love filled eyes.

“You won’t ask me anything?”

“About what? I think everything we settled on is pretty straight forward.”

“So? Coffee or hot chocolate?”

“Hot chocolate. And I’m making it.” Steve said walking towards the refrigerator to take out milk.

“If you insist.” She shrugged playfully. The next couple minutes were spent in comfortable silence, while Steve focused on making hot chocolate Y/n just sat there in the kitchen watching him.

“Ya’ know staring is considered rude.” He placed a steamy mug in front of her and came to sit down on his previous spot.

“I’m not staring.”

“Ahuh.”  

“What? I was thinking about something else.”

“I believe you.” he smirked.

“You’re being a sarcastic jerk to me!” she playfully hit him on the arm.

As they both settled down from a shared laugh, she took a sip from her hot drink. Steve looked at her face expectantly, noticing the way she had closed her eyes enjoying the taste of the hot chocolate in her mouth. It wasn’t an instant mixed hot chocolate; Steve had made it from scratch.

“Mmmm… this is so good.” She almost whispered.

“Thanks. Glad you like it.”

“I didn’t know I’ve been missing your hot chocolate more than I missed you.” She licked her lips.

Steve chuckled, “I’ll make you whenever you want to have one.”

“But you’d never share the secret recipe, Steve? You used to make it almost every night for me when we were young. Remember the exam nights, this hot chocolate did wonders.”

“I remember it all too well, Y/n.” He smiled but it wasn’t reaching his eyes, he took a sip from his own cup. “… It’s my dad’s recipe.”

Y/n looked at him like she had seen a ghost, her face went pale. Steve’s eyes were fixed on his cup else he wouldn’t have continued.

“When I first told dad how I felt about you, he told me that I’d have to do something extra ordinary to win you over. He shared his recipe with me, the same one he used when he and ma started dating. This is something very personal to me, close to my heart. He never shared it with Ma, he’d always fix some for her after dinner… It’s been years but I still miss him. I look up to him whenever I’m with Mal. I just… think about how he was with me when I was a kid and instantly, I know what to do. I wish I’d be half of a person my dad was to our son… wish there was a way I could tell him that ‘hey dad, your loser of a son is a father now.’” His eyes were distant, and a sad smile plastered his beautiful features. Y/n reached out to hold his hand but stopped not knowing what to say to him. Suddenly, she held herself accountable for something her mother had done years ago. How would she ever be able to tell him that her mother was the reason he lost his father.

“Hey… hey, I didn’t mean to make you cry. Y/n, tch… sweetheart…” When he finally turned his face to see a wet trail on her cheeks.

“I’m sorry Steve.”

“Don’t be. It’s not your fault, Y/n.” And she looked at him with pain-stricken expression.

“I wish… I could be of help.” She snuffed. “You can talk to me about him, you know that right?”

He nodded with a small smile and moved on to talk about Malcolm’s birthday party arrangements. While they discussed a few things keeping in mind what Nat had told them earlier in the day, Y/n knew what she had to do at the end of their conversation. When Steve left, giving her yet another amazing good night kiss, she didn’t miss a moment to forward Peggy’s email to Natasha. She didn’t know if it was a hasty move, all she knew was that she couldn’t keep this information from Steve. Within ten minutes, she got a text message from Natasha.

-does Steve know about this?

-No.

-okay. I’ll talk to you tomorrow.

-sure. Thanks Nat.

-Don’t thank me yet. You’ve been sitting on a bomb.

-I didn’t know what to do.

-We’ll talk about it tomorrow. Night.

-G’night.

As she lay down in the comfort of her bed, she wondered if she had done the right thing. She wanted to think about herself and Steve, and their future together but she couldn’t get Steve’s words out of her mind. Tossing and turning in bed, when sleep finally embraced her, she was jolted awake by the sound of Malcolm crying. She jumped out of her bed making a beeline towards Malcolm’s room.

“Mal-pal, what’s wrong?” She took him in her arms, slightly rubbing his back. “See mama is right here. Did you have a nightmare?”

He nodded with a sob.

“Okay, sweetheart. Here, take a sip of water and look at me.” She passed a water bottle, “You’re okay, everything is alright. It was just a nightmare. You wana tell me about it?”

“No wemembe’. But was scawy.” He sniffled between the words.

“Don’t worry, you’re safe. Okay? We’ll bring a new flashlight for your bedside table.” She set him down on the bed again, gently rubbing his back and she put herself in a comfortable position beside him and closed her eyes.

The next time she woke up with Alice gently calling out her name, letting her know that it was quarter to eight. Malcolm was still asleep on her chest, she put him down softly and got out of his bed, assuring Alice that she was okay, but she wasn’t. A slight pound of headache was making its way and before it got worse, she needed to take a shower and get ready for work.

She joined her dad and Alice at the breakfast table with unusually quiet Malcolm. She poured some coffee in her cup and made bite size pieces of pancake for her son.

“Is everything okay, sweetheart?” Daniel asked. “Hey champ, you didn’t say good morning to Nono and Nana.”

Malcolm looked at his mama and then his Nono, “I had a nightma’e. I no sweep good.”

“Oh, I’m sorry to hear that, buddy. What can we do to make you feel good?”

Malcolm looked towards Y/n who smiled at him, “Dunno.” He shrugged.

“How about a shopping trip? I heard someone’s birthday is just around the corner and we think if we can go gift shopping…?”

Malcolm’s face light up immediately, “Its my birthday Nono, in…. twe’ve days.” He got excited.

“Okay, then I will pick Nono and Mal from the day care in the evening and we’ll go shopping.”

“… and we eat ice cweam too, Nana.” He said with mouth full, thrilled, and delighted.

Y/n leaned down to place a kiss on Malcolm’s forehead, this time she genuinely smiled seeing the happiness on her son’s face. Her heart melted and she gave another kiss in his hair before getting up and heading to the kitchen cabinet, taking out two tablets of Tylenol, she popped them in her mouth. Her phone on the counter started buzzing, seeing Natasha’s name on the screen, she stepped out of the kitchen clutching the phone in her hand.

“Hey Natasha!”

“Hey wassup?” Natasha chirped in her carefree tone. “And you can call me Nat. you’re my best friend’s girlfriend.”

“Girlfriend?” Y/n was amused at her confidence.

“Oh! May be not yet but I can see it happening.” It’s the way that Nat said it had made Y/n chuckle, finally easing up her tensed muscles.

“My alleged boyfriend told me you were a lawyer, didn’t know you could read future.”

Nat laughed out loud through the phone, “I like you… gosh why didn’t we meet earlier. You’d have been my best friend.”

“Thanks Nat.” She smiled.

“You’re welcome, Y/n…”

“What do you think about the email, Nat? I’ve been sitting on it for almost a month.”

“Oh boy!” Nat heaved a sigh, “Have you told Steve about it?”

“No! I wanted to but my dad told me not to…” She explained why her dad didn’t want Steve to know about this email.

“He’s right though, I respect your Daniel Carter, wouldn’t questioned his judgment. But its about you and Steve.”

“What do you mean?”

“I mean, the truth about his dad will eventually come out because Steve has filed a case against her. I’m gathering all the proof before I send an official court notice to her. And this email is solid evidence… its totally up to you if you want to tell Steve or just stay quiet…”

“How could I stay quiet, Nat. Just the other day, he told me how much he misses his dad, how much he still looks up to him… that’s unfair… I can’t hide it from him, but I’m also scared… scared that he would do something reckless. I don’t even know at this point.” Y/n was frustrated.

“I get what you’re saying. But it’s your choice to make, Y/n. If you don’t want to tell him, I wouldn’t let him know that you helped me with this evidence. You still have time to think over it though. I’m handling everything the best I can. I appreciate that you sent it to me, I’ll put together everything I have gathered against her. I would suggest you just chill and enjoy prepping for your little one’s birthday party.”

“Yeah… Thanks Nat. I seriously had no clue…”

“Don’t worry about it… unless I asked you to.” She laughed.

“I will try my best not to…” Y/n chuckled. With the sound of door opening, Malcolm rushed off to his mama and wrap himself on her thigh.

“Mama, you talk with daddy. I too.”

“I’m not, Mal-pal. Its Aunty Nat on the phone.” She ruffled his silky golden locks.

“I wana talk to daddy.” He whined.

“You will, sweetheart. Just be patient. Let me finish up with Aunty Nat.”

Nat, in the background cooed over Malcolm telling Y/n to give him a kiss for her. Once she ended the call with Nat, she Face- timed Steve and gave the phone to excited Malcolm as she walked them back inside. While he was busy with Steve, she started getting ready for work. After conversing with Nat, she was able to put aside her stress and think positively of the situation. If it was up to her to let Steve know about his dad, then she would make sure that she’d do it sooner rather than later. She didn’t want to build a relationship with him, keeping secrets from him. She had no idea how he would react, maybe he’d do exactly same what her dad had deduced that is going rampage after her mother, but she hoped it wouldn’t be the case because Steve had already filed a case against Eleanor.

Y/n settled on waiting until after Malcolm’s birthday party, then she would let Steve know the truth. Giving herself a satisfied look in a full-length mirror, she headed out to find her son who happened to be a big fan of his father. She smiled seeing him sprawled out on the couch where she left him, in a deep conversation about garbage trucks and their history. She waited patiently for them to end the call while also wondering about finally starting something with Steve. Even to this day and what they had gone through in the past four years, her heart still fluttered, and butterflies still erupted in her stomach to the idea of finally having a significant relationship with Steve. There’d be ups and downs, moments when they both needed space from each other but in her heart, she knew that they would be just fine together.

[bijouxcarys]

𝐓𝐨 𝐋𝐨𝐯𝐞 𝐒𝐨 𝐂𝐨𝐦𝐩𝐥𝐞𝐭𝐞𝐥𝐲 (𝐑𝐨𝐛𝐞𝐫𝐭 𝐏𝐥𝐚𝐧𝐭 𝐅𝐚𝐧𝐟𝐢𝐜𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧)

Masterlist

Robert Plant x fem!OC

Description: Sometimes the pain of what should have never been, opens your eyes to what can.

Tags: @celestial-dragoness @whothefuckisanja @callmethehunter @ourshadowstallerthanoursoul @strsmn @firethatgrewsolow @chromations @brownskinsugarplum76 @angrychicksposts (if you'd like to be added, just let me know!)

▪──── ⚔ ────▪

She tred upon a shifting landscape, a maze of shadows untangling beneath her hesitant steps. The air, thick with echoes, whispered secrets unheard of. Moonlight pierced through the twisted silhouettes, revealing a path that beckoned her forward.

As she ventured deeper, a distant murmur bellowed like a fading storm. Shadows clung to the fringes of her consciousness, dancing on the periphery of memory. Yet, with each step, a strength welled within.

The labyrinth crumbled silently behind her, unveiling a boundless expanse of open space. The moon, now a silent witness, cast its glow upon an endless sea. She stood at the edge, the cool breeze caressing her face.

For a fleeting moment, she tasted the sweet allure of freedom.

A groan rumbled in her throat, resisting the rapid movements on her right shoulder. She curled up further into herself with a sharp inhale, her eyes cracking open.

“Elena,” came a soft voice.

With a thick swallow, Elena moved back to see the familiar face of Pat Bonham, leaning over the back of the sofa she had passed out on.

“Morning,” Pat gently greeted once Elena had mustered up the strength to pull herself up. Her eyes were still squinted, adjusting to the daylight.

Elena cleared her throat, bringing her knees up to her chest. “G’morning…” she replied, though it only came out as a hoarse whisper.

“I’ve brought you a cup of tea.” Pat set the mug of tea down on the coffee table. “It’s just past 9.” Elena nodded, accepting the courteous gesture that she was used to from her. It even evoked the smallest smile when she noticed the perfect colour of the tea. Pat always knows.

“Thank you,” Elena looked up at Pat, her face still flushed and eyes still red. The former pulled her eyebrows into a sympathetic furrow, followed by a smile of the same candour. “I-I’m sorry for just showing up like I did.”

Pat was quick to shake her head and perched on the edge of the sofa arm, gently rubbing along Elena’s back. “There’s no need to apologise, love. You did what you had to do.”

Elena didn’t have a chance to respond, as any thought of one was abruptly cut short by the small, blonde Bonham boy darting into the room.

“Aunty Ellie!” The boy bound into Elena’s arms, barely giving her the opportunity to open them for him. “When did you get here?!”

“Jason,” Pat sighed, delicately scolding her son, “Mummy and Aunty Ellie were talking. You know it’s not polite to interrupt.”

Jason looked up at his mother with an instantly apologetic expression. “Sowwy, Mummy.”

Jason’s presence never failed to lighten Elena’s mood, and God only knew that she needed it.

“It’s okay, sweetheart, just try not to do it again, okay?” Upon receiving a nod from Jason, she continued. “Why don’t you go wake up Daddy and tell him the coffee’s ready?”

“Okay!” Jason beamed, instantly darting off in the direction of the stairs. Elena watched over her shoulder as the almost-four-year-old used the banisters to help him up each step.

“How do you cope?” Elena asked with a short chuckle.

“Gin.” Pat smirked. “Gin and a lot of patience.”

Elena chuckled, looking down at the mug of tea. She didn’t realise how dry her mouth had gotten from the night of shouting that quickly turned into a night of sobbing. Her thirst was quenched as she took a steady sip from the mug, taking comfort in the warmth of the beverage.

“I better go and make John’s breakfast.” Pat stood up. “Do you want anything, love?” she called over her shoulder on her way to the kitchen.

“Um…” Elena was tempted by the offer. To have someone make her breakfast. But no matter how much the prospect of it enticed her, she hastily shook her head. “I’m alright, thanks, Pat.” She smiled at the older woman as she disappeared into the other room.

Apart from the muffled giggles and screams of elation coming from upstairs, the Bonham household was relatively quiet. Serene. A stark contrast from where Elena had fled the night before. The family photos on the walls, the persistent ticking from the grandfather clock by the oak bookcase. Her favourite part? The plants that Pat had strategically placed to bring even more life to her house. Everything in the Bonham house felt like a home, even to Elena.

“Is it okay if I have a cig, Pat?” Elena asked in the direction of the kitchen upon spotting the packet of Marlboros on the table.

“Of course, yeah!”

Taking one from the pack and the box of matches next to it, she rose from the sofa, her knees clicking as she stretched. She knew it would feel good to step outside and get some fresh air, even though it would accompany the intoxication of a cigarette.

“Remember, it’s not a substitute for a meal!” She heard Pat call to her as she stepped out the Bonhams’ back door into their garden, cup of tea in hand. Elena smiled softly to herself at the reminder that she was cared for.

Leaning against the wall, she ran her hand through her dark brown hair, holding it back for a moment. She closed her eyes and inhaled deeply, taking in the fresh air that the Bonham house was surrounded by. There was hope that with her exhale, she could expel the events that led her to this point in time. But she knew it didn’t work like that, much to her own chagrin.

This wasn’t going to go away in the blink of an eye.

As she opened her eyes and dropped her hand, she felt those nervous flutters from within her chest that were all too familiar now. Cigarette between her lips, she lit a match and carefully ignited the end, stealing as much calm as she could with the first inhale.

She sighed and watched the smoke curl and rise into the air. Her mind was racing a thousand miles per second. Wondering where to go from here. Where was she going to stay? What was she going to do? What was the logical next step when her initial decision was spontaneous and without any thought? She had no other clothes than the ones on her back, and no possessions other than the ones in the pocket of her jacket, which mostly consisted of some pitiful change and a receipt from Morrisons.

How does a 20-year-old, unemployed woman move on from sacrificing her life for a relationship that ended sourly?

Sure, John took her in when she showed up at his door, just before midnight, with her face flushed and covered in tears. But what else was he supposed to do? More importantly, how long could Elena impose on a loving household with her fucked-up tragedy?

She ultimately knew that John wouldn’t care how long she stayed, and neither would Pat—Jason, there was no question about it. He always loved whenever his Aunty Ellie stopped by, though those visits had become few and far in between. She was one of the first people outside of the Bonham family to get to hold Jason when he was born. The first non-family member to babysit. Her name was the first Jason learned, even though it came out as a slurred “Ellie.” Mummy, Daddy, and Ellie.

It always triggered fond memories of how badly she butchered John’s name when they met in 1953. Bon-Bon. El and Bon-Bon. The slightly unhinged, chaotic duo that ran rampant in Redditch, from their homely neighbourhood, all the way up to their teen years when they’d work themselves up to complete a pub crawl in Birmingham city centre. But they never made it past the first three. 

She almost forgot how… normal life was back then.

“Heard my matches were stolen.”

Elena turned her head towards the back door, a very drowsy and half-asleep John Bonham stepping out into the morning air with the packet of Marlboros in hand. One side of his hair was still stuck up from where he’d been sleeping on his side, and his eyes were half-lidded.

He gave her a little smile, the weight of the circumstances still hanging over them. The best they could do was have a cigarette and morning conversation until they had to confront the issue at hand.

“The sofa alright?” John asked, accepting the matches from Elena. She nodded, taking a drag from her cig. “Good, good…”

There was an easy silence between the two of them as they perched on the picnic table John’s dad had made years ago. She didn’t know what to say to him, or how to say it. The idea of small talk seemed counterproductive in this moment; if Pat was to come outside, she would surely be able to feel the tension between her husband and his best friend.

“How was America?” Elena asked timidly, flicking some ash into the glass tray in the centre of the table. Over the last couple of years, she’d honed her skill in avoiding tension and, more recently, conflict. She had to.

John offered a side-eyed glance, knowing exactly what she was doing, anyway. It was all in the eyes, which was why she made the conscious effort to cast hers downward.

“It was good, yeah,” John finally answered with a nod. “Lot of energy over there.” Pause. “You really should come to a gig, El, you haven’t been in—“

“I know.”

“We’re just gettin’ better and better.”

“I know you are.”

John stared at her. His look was far from playful. 

“How would you know?”

Elena’s eyes shut briefly, and she took a deep inhale of her cigarette. He was trying to make her crack. To get her to tell him everything. But she couldn’t. At least, not yet.

“I wouldn’t,” she softly admitted. “I’m sorry,” she whispered, wrapping her arms around herself. Don’t cry. You’re not allowed to cry.

He sighed and ran a hand over his face. “No, I’m sorry,” he grumbled, flicking some ash. “Fuck!” He snapped, shoving a rogue football away with his foot in frustration. Elena flinched, looking up at him. He ran his tongue over his teeth, irritated. At himself. For not doing anything when he could.

Elena took the last drag of her cig, and stubbed it out in the ashtray. 

“Not your fault, John…” she reassured him.

“No, but I could’ve at least said something.” He shook his head.

“Yeah, like what?” She let the question hang in the air for a moment. “Nothing you could’ve said, or done, would have changed the outcome.” In fact, she was sure that if John had intervened, it would have turned out far worse in the long run.

At least for the time being, John seemed to drop the idea that he could have done something to help his best friend get out of a situation that was becoming dangerous. There was no stopping it from settling in the back of his mind, and there was no chance of him dropping the subject altogether. But for now, he wanted Elena safe.

John took his last drag of his cigarette and stubbed it out in the ashtray, before clearing his throat and standing up. “Right.” He clapped his hands together. “Breakfast!” 

Elena let herself smirk as John disappeared inside the house. It was comforting to know that life constantly on the road didn’t change him; he remained the same silly boy who got excited over fry-ups, and she loved him for it. 

Maybe breakfast would be a good idea. She chewed at her bottom lip, coming to the realisation that getting over this unfortunate bump in the road of her life would be much harder than she anticipated.

“How is she?” Pat asked her husband as she simultaneously sliced Jason’s jam on toast into small squares. 

Placing a kiss on his wife’s cheek, John shrugged his shoulders. “Dunno,” he sighed, heading to the stove, where his eggs, bacon, and tomatoes were sizzling away.  “I’m gunna leave it for a bit. Don’t want to overwhelm her.”

“Well, you’re going to have to talk about it at some point, John.”

“I know. And we will. She’s just got here, Pat, she’ll talk eventually.” John was sidetracked by Jason bounding into the kitchen, full of life as usual.

“Mummy, I’m hungry!”

“Yep, it’s all ready for you now, sweetheart. Let’s get you sat down.” Pat smiled at her son and bent down to lift him up, turning to place him on one of the wooden chairs surrounding a circular table.

“You’re almost big enough to get on that chair yourself, son,” John said, smiling brightly at Jason. “Maybe you’ll be big enough to go into the family business soon—“

“John,” Pat warned, sending him a light glare. 

“What?” He laughed. “He’s a born drummer, look at that shoulder placement! He’s a beast!”

Jason beamed, looking up at his dad and then at his mother with a confident nod. “I’m a beast, Mummy.” 

“God help me if I end up with two drummers in the house.” Pat ran her hand over her face. She often pretended like the idea exhausted her, but inside, she would be proud of Jason if he did grow up to be like his father. Either way, John would take it upon himself to teach him the art of percussion anyway, regardless of what Pat thought about it.

“Does Aunty Ellie live with us now, Daddy?” Jason wriggled in his seat as Pat placed the plate of toast and a plastic cup of orange juice in front of him. 

John couldn’t help but chuckle. “No, son, she doesn’t. She might be staying here for a little bit, though. How’s that sound?” 

“Good!” Jason answered mid-chew.

“Don’t talk with your mouth full,” John reminded him, plonking down at the table with his plate of food and a cup of coffee. “If you’re lucky, she might help out with the climbing frame.”

Jason’s face lit up and his attention darted between both of his parents. “Really?!”

Pat chuckled, wiping down the counters before joining the table with a plate of her own toast with marmalade. She found it admirable that John was so committed to family life that he was willing to go above and beyond to build their son a fully functional climbing frame, aiming to complete it by the time he left again for tour in June. That way, it would be finished by Jason’s 4th birthday. 

“I’m sure she won’t want to do another project, John,” Pat smiled. “Haven’t you roped her into enough?”

John grinned at his wife. “Since we were kids.” He seemed proud of that, and he was. He loved working on things with Elena, and it was something that had been a constant in their lives…until recently.

As if on cue, Elena had come back inside, mug of tea empty and her mind as refreshed as it could be in that moment. Pat smiled gently at her.

“Was the tea alright, love?”

“Perfect, thanks,” she answered with a nod, heading to the sink to wash the mug.

“Don’t worry about that, Elena.”

“When have I ever not cleaned up after myself, Pat?” she asked with a soft tinge of reassurance. “Me mam raised me this way.”

“I always blamed your mum for it.” John jested, shovelling some bacon into his mouth.

Rinsing off the mug and putting it on the dishrack, Elena turned around, leaning on the counter. “For what?”

“For being a messy little bugger–ow!” He flinched back when Pat swatted his arm. “What was that for?” His question came out mumbled through the bacon in his mouth.

“Don’t talk with your mouth full, firstly. And secondly, be nice!” Pat scolded somewhat playfully. Jason let out a hearty, warm laugh, his mouth tainted with remnants of jam.

“Don’t talk wiv your mouf full, Daddy,” he repeated through a goofy chuckle. “A-Aunty Ellie?” He turned his attention to her, still giggling away. “Can you say… Can you say it again?”

Elena scrunched her eyebrows up, glancing at Pat and John. “Say what again, love?”

Jason struggled to get the words out, still laughing with the occasional hiccup. “When you… talked about your Mummy.”

She immediately grinned, momentarily forgetting about everything she had to deal with, enjoying the innocence of childhood through Jason yet again. “Who, me mam?” Everyone laughed along with Jason as he leaned forward in his chair, almost face-planting the remaining square of toast on his plate. He wheezed and screamed, the childish joy enough to bring happy flutters to Elena’s stomach.

“Me… Me mam,” he deepened his voice slightly and tried his best to mimic Elena’s thick accent before bursting out with laughter yet again.

“Y’know what, El, forget everythin’ I’ve ever said to you about being from Manchester,” John declared, his face beaming with absolute elation at the jovial state his son was in.

“Told ya!” Elena pointed at John. “Being from Manny isn’t that bad.” She poked her tongue out at him.

“No, you just become a source of entertainment ‘cause of how you speak.”

“Coming from the man who says ‘nottin’’ as opposed to ‘nothing’.” Elena folded her arms.

“Ey, you say ‘nout!’ That’s even worse!”

“Okay, shut up,” Elena playfully rolled her eyes, gently coming down from her laughing fit; she hadn’t laughed like that in a while. It was nice. “Uh, Pat, is it okay if I use the shower real quick?”

“Of course, love, you know you can,” Pat answered, her smirk still present from laughing, but her eyes reading as confusion. Elena knew she never needed to ask to use the shower, or the bathroom, or even get herself a cup of tea–why was she now?

“Thanks,” Elena smiled and headed in the direction of the stairs, before John’s voice calling her back stopped her in her tracks.

“Before I forget,” he took a sip of coffee, “I’ve got to go in for a rehearsal on Friday.”

“A rehearsal?” Elena raised her eyebrow. “Haven’t you just come back?”

“Yeah, but Jim called yesterday, sayin’ he wasn’t happy with the way we have certain songs transitioning into others–I don’t know, I’ve learned to just say yes, show up, and do as I’m told.” He put his hands up in defence.

“If only you could apply that to home life,” Pat mumbled, inconspicuously sipping at her hot beverage. John threw her a light glare, making her giggle, before he continued, looking back at Elena.

“Anyway, you should come with me! You haven’t been to a rehearsal in a while, have you, El?”

Elena’s eyebrows raised, her stomach once again fluttering, though this time it wasn’t due to the childish innocence of Jason Bonham. What it was, she couldn’t put her finger on it. Perhaps she was just happy to have the chance to see John in action again. So she nodded, her excitement somewhere in the back of her mind, but failing to come to the surface.

“Good. It’ll be fun,” John nodded. “The lads will be chuffed to see you again, actually, they’ve been asking how you’ve been. Should put a stop to the endless nagging.”

Elena offered a light laugh, somewhat giddy at the idea of the others asking about her. “Yeah… Don’t see why I can’t…” 

“We’ll talk more later, but you go have a shower, El.”

As his best friend disappeared upstairs, he watched with a steady gaze, trying to decipher what exactly had been going on between Elena and her long-time boyfriend, David. He knew it hadn’t been good, and he knew that for a while, but what on Earth could have led her to his door in the middle of the night, begging to let her stay? 

All he could do was count his blessings, and hope that this was the start of something new for Elena. His Elena had been gone for far too long, and bringing her along to rehearsals on Friday was the perfect way to integrate her back into how her life used to be, where she was happy.

Where she enjoyed, since the day she met him, the company of Robert Plant.

[bonebabbles]

Jagged Peak sucks too

And I'll say it actually. Gray Wing's anger is completely fucking justified. This has nothing to do with Jagged Peak's disability, this is because he's completely irresponsible with the well being of children

This isn't the first time he lost track of the kittens when he was in charge of them, either. Last time this happened they had to mount a rescue mission.

We see Sparrow Fur get painted a lovely shade of red in her own blood because she ran off on her Father Quest, mauled by One Eye in her goal to reconnect to her mother's domestic abuser, while Gray Wing trusted his brother with ONE JOB to make sure they didn't do something ridiculous

Gray doesn't know that Sparrow looks like a Children's Hospital right now, but he does know she's missing. And he learns where she is from OWL EYES

JAGGED PEAK SAID IT WAS OKAY

FOR SOMEONE ELSE'S CHILD

TO RUN INTO THE FOREST

TOWARDS A GROUP THAT IS HARBORING A WIFEBEATER

AND DIDN'T EVEN HAVE THE DECENCY TO BE THE ONE TO TELL GRAY WING THAT HIS ADOPTED DAUGHTER IS NOT IN CAMP

It gets worse. Gray Wing calls him over FURIOUS and Jagged Peak plays stupid

"IS THERE A PROBLEM THAT I LET YOUR CHILD GO LOOKING FOR HER ABUSIVE BIODAD IN THE WOODS, UNACCOMPANIED?"

Jagged Peak started to look uncomfortable :(((((((((( "im sowwy i thought it would be okey :( after all the wifebeater is HER FATHER, gray wing, guy who was mates with turtle tail and is the only paternal figure the kittens have ever known. i thought you wouldnt be a little bitch about it because she's big enough that a fox could eat her in two bites instead of one."

THESE KITTENS WERE BORN IN SUMMER. IT IS CURRENTLY AUTUMN. THEY ARE, AT MOST, 6 MONTHS OLD. That is assuming that they were born at the start of summer and this is the end of autumn.

Most likely scenario is that we are looking at 4-month-old kittens, and Jagged Peak said it was FINE for Sparrow Fur to run off on her own into the Oh So Dangerous Woods

How many stupid pills is a lethal dose?

You do not, under ANY circumstances, "GOTTA ADMIT HE WAS RIGHT"

EVERY time I believe that this arc has scraped the BOTTOM of the barrel, I hear the sickening crackle of wood and peak over the rim to watch them scooping out splinters.

"all three of them wanted to train with the man who got their mom killed, gray wing. so i let your 10 year old run off into the woods. 10 is old enough to make their own choices gray wing. come on man. c'maaaaan"

Then he starts gushing about how HE is going to be a dad, because that's just fucking GREAT, Jagged Peak. You've really proven how responsible you are and how much you can totally be trusted with children.

RE: This has NOTHING to do with Jagged Peak's disability. None of that is a factor into LETTING CHILDREN RUN OFF INTO THE WILDERNESS UNSUPERVISED

But then The News reaches the Moor cats. Sparrow Fur has been mauled and she is hanging on for dear life. What a turn of events!! No one could have seen this coming!!!!!! Gray Wing rips into Jagged Peak.

All THREE of you suck. NONE of you are okay people. You are all BLIGHTS on my eyeballs and I wish all three of you fell into a meat grinder at the end of this series

Gray Wing downplaying Clear Sky's role in everyone's pain and torment. AGAIN

Clear Sky "ohhh I feel dreadful :(" good. die.

Jagged Peak: "im sorry b-b-b-b-b-BUT your daughter was INSISTENT, so, you have to forgive me for letting her run into the woods alone--"

Before you go ahead, go on back up. Read that again. Sparrow Fur was put in danger because of Jagged Peak's STUPID choice, and he can't even FULLY take responsibility for it. "I AM sorry, I should have checked with you................................ BUT."

Always, ALWAYS in this series, a character who is angry is treated as JUST AS BAD as the person who hurt them and mustered up a shitty apology.

You expect me to take Gray Wing FINALLY expressing anger towards the shitty people in his life as a bad thing?? You think I'm supposed to see this as an expression of ableism???? TWICE now Jagged Peak has let children wander off, they have been KIDNAPPED in the past, and now Gray Wing is faced with losing ANOTHER family member. All because of Jagged Peak being an irresponsible manbaby who couldn't say no to an "insistent" child

His leg had NOTHING to do with this. Jagged Peak is the same reckless kid that charged out of the mountains and forced Gray Wing to follow him to prevent him from becoming eagle food, not thinking about anyone else besides himself, but this time he isn't a kid anymore. He's an expectant father.

Fuck, I'll bet you that it's why he let Sparrow Fur run off into the woods alone in the first place. "I did it and turned out fine!" When he's always had GRAY WING behind him to save his ass

Is this harsh? Yes.

Is it deserved? ALSO YES. Jagged Peak should take this shit to heart and THINK about what it means to be a parent before his children come into the world and have to deal with having HIM for a father

TEA.

A BOSTON HARBOR FULL OF TEA

I hate that the only time this arc ever lets Gray Wing fucking unload onto someone, it has to go and try to make it a big shameful thing that he's NOT being a total doormat. He's RIGHT.

Jagged Peak needs his wife to jump in and stand up for him because he can't face the fact that his stupid, careless decision put Sparrow Fur in danger and his brother, NOTORIOUSLY A PUSHOVER, is rightfully losing his shit with him

Jagged Peak, I hope it felt just as good to smack your brother as it did to call Bumble a fat slob before you stood by and watched her get dragged back to her domestic abuser. The same one you let a kitten run to. I hope your paw falls off.

But before it does, I hope you learn to take responsibility for your actions. Loser ass.

And before someone tries to clown at me about "Oh but Gray Wing was legitimately ableist to Jagged Peak in the past so actually it's not okay that he's yelling at him even though he's totally right!" Do you mean the time he prevented him from running towards a forest fire, the same one that also permanently disabled and ends up killing Gray Wing himself via complications, that everyone could only barely escape from with a lot of jumping? Or do you mean when he told him to defend the camp instead of joining in on the First Battle Murder Party, when Clear Sky was indiscriminately slaughtering people?

Or do you mean when Clear Sky was insulting him in public by calling him useless and Gray Wing was out here trying to insist that he IS useful? Which is its OWN bucket of problematic worms, but no, NEVER in a way that was meant to insult Jagged Peak for his ability or lack thereof.

This is completely new. He has NEVER snapped at Jagged Peak like this.

In fact I even point out in the link above that Jagged Peak shouldn't have to "justify" his existence. His life has value (even though he treated Bumble like hers didn't). That doesn't mean he can't face criticism for what he just allowed to happen to Gray Wing's adopted child. That doesn't mean he'll make a good dad if he doesn't smarten up. That doesn't mean Gray Wing shouldn't be fucking pissed at him.

Shove off, Holly. Shove off, get lost, play in traffic, suck an egg. You should take out your pain on the person who is responsible for sending a child to an unsafe camp with her mother's abuser where she got mauled, actually. That's completely fucking reasonable.

Holly x Jagged Peak FOREVER. HAND IN UNLOVABLE HAND. YOU CERTAINLY DESERVE EACH OTHER, IF NOTHING ELSE

Disclaimer: This is not a Gray Wing defense post. All three brothers are terrible. Clear Sky remains the absolute worst. Jagged Peak is the "least" bad but he's still fucking awful.