#i love nhs being mean and evil!!

[mdzs-owns-my-ass-i-guess]

This AU is haunting me so:

Lan Xichen knows Nie Huaisang is going to kill Jin Guangyao. He was never supposed to know it and wasn't even trying to find anything out, he just heard something he shouldn't have, lingered a bit longer than he said he would in Huaisang's estate before he left one day and caught a rare moment of Nie Huaisang's airhead mask slipping off.

However, Lan Xichen can do nothing about it.

He can't tell Jin Guangyao. He can't even tell Nie Huaisang he knows. He can't tell anyone anything.

Not because he can't as in, he is physically, morally or politically unable to.

He can't because he is cursed.

It is not him in particular, he comes to learn, it's anyone who happens to know anything at all about Nie Huaisang's plan.

At least that's what Huaisang told him. Because Huaisang spotted him as he returned to his guest chambers for a forgotten manuscript long after he'd said his goodbyes - but only after hearing Huaisang give a few orders to one of his henchmen within earshot.

So, Huaisang invited him back to talk.

"I didn't think you would eavesdropping." Huaisang said, an amused glint in his eyes as he daintily fanned himself.

Lan Xichen looked at him, glaring ice. He did not even bother making his tone sound anything but angry. Controlled, but impossibly angry. "I was not."

"I know, I know." Huaisang laughed, "There's a rule against that, isn't there?"

Lan Xichen did not share the lightheartedness. His grip on his sword tightened, the ornaments of the hilt digging into his palm. "What will happen to me now?"

Nie Huaisang sighed, finally taking on the same cold, cruel demeanor that Lan Xichen had glimpsed at. "As long as you keep quiet, nothing. But keeping quiet also entails minding your own business. And not interfering in anything I do." A knowing smile. "Or anything you think I might want to do."

"And if I don't?"

Nie Huaisang smiled in a self-satisfied way, closing his fan shut. "I think you will. You see, this curse won't exactly hurt you. You won't be killed or injured yourself. This curse is a curse of sorrow. The man that created it wanted to teach people about how one's actions often have consequences on those nearest and dearest to them."

Realizations dawned upon Lan Xichen with so much dread that he felt sick. "...Wangji."

"Exactly." Nie Huaisang appeared downright dangerous now, his expression still smiling but dripping venom. "If you talk or write or tell anyone in any way anything about what I want to do, Hanguang-Jun will die. Instantly. No hope for reincarnation, nothing." His eyes fell on Lan Xichrn's sword. "And don't even think about having me killed or killing me yourself, because the same will happen, except not just to your brother, but yourself as well."

The anger Lan Xichen felt suddenly subdued into hopelessness. "Can this be broken at all?"

"Yes and no. Technically, once the purpose to which I placed the curse is fulfilled, it becomes inactive."

"Inactive. Not broken."

"It cannot be reused, if that's what you're worried about." Nie Huaisang rolls his eyes as if scandalized at the notion. "But if you're so keen on breaking it, the only way to do that is if you yourself were to fulfill the purpose to which I placed the cursed for."

Lan Xichen felt bile rise up in his throat. "...kill A-Yao myself."

"Yes. Then you will be free of the curse forever."

"And if I take my own life?"

"Your brother dies with you. And if you - absurd as ir may be - kill him, you will die as well."

"There is no way out."

Nie Huaisang shrugged, almost disinterested in the fact entirely. "You should have left when you said you would."

"Why do you want A-Yao dead?"

That piqued Huaisang's interest in him again. "Do you remember how Da-Ge died?"

"Yes. What's that to do with anything?"

"Who had been playing Cleansing for him at the time?"

Anger reeled inside Lan Xichen again. "I taught A-Yao cleansing myself. What are you implying?"

"Was he indeed playing the version you taught him?"

"What other version is there?"

"None. This is why I ask you, are you sure he was playing what you taught him?"

Lan Xichen's patience, endless as it may have been, was starting to reach an end. "How should I know?"

"I do."

Xichen can't mask his contempt (no, disgust)."How do you?"

"Your contempt is quite upsetting, Zewu-Jun. You do know I am inclined for the arts and I adore music. I have keen ears."

"There is no other version of Cleansing. I have taught A-Yao nothing harmful."

Nie Huaisang briskly closes his fan and turns to leave the room. "Whether you believe me or not is up to you. I know the truth. And now you do too."

"And now I have to watch you kill somebody I care about in exchange for this so-calles knowledge of yours."

"You would have found out anyway."

"You wouldn't understand."

"Perhaps not."

[llycaons]

lwj is poorly suited towards being cc in everything but principle, but I’ve seen people put forward jc as a better option and I definitely think he would be more of a disaster. at least lwj demonstrably cares about non-cultivators, and he has a large support system in his sect

[wangxianficfinder]

In the mood for...

Oct 23rd

~*~

1. itmf fics where lwj (or even one of the other characters like nhs or the juniors) gets mad about what lxc said to wwx about being lwj’s only mistake?

Thank you for your help!

break by justdoityoufucker (orphan_account) (T, 3k, WangXian, Canon Divergence, LXC Critical, JC Critical, Canonical Character Death, Guānyīn Temple Scene, BAMF WN, Protective WN)

🔒💖 When has silence saved anyone? by Vrishchika (T, 6k, wangxian, LSZ & WWX & LWJ, post-canon, LXC  critical, family feels, angry LWJ & LSZ, LXC gets scolded)

~*~

2. hello! itmf request for fics where lwj punches people. like we know he's good with the sword but his lan arm strength should also be used for breaking jaws with his fists. no jc bashing tho. i mean lwj can beat him up, but id rather the author not, yknow? thank you very much in advance and blessings come your way!

~*~

3. Do you know of any fics where wwx's ghost sticks around to help raise lsz? @dawnforger-fr

🧡 Lan Sizhui Sees Dead People Series by darkbrokenreaper (T, 30k, WIP, WangXian, LWJ & LSZ, JC & LSZ, Canon Divergence, Fluff, Kid Fic, Hurt/Comfort, lsz sees dead people, Paranormal)

🧡 Ghosts Shouldn’t by ShanaStoryteller (Not Rated, 15k, WangXian, Grief/Mourning, Canon Divergence, Angst with a Happy Ending)

From the beyond Series by apathyinreverie (T, 11k, WangXian, Canon Divergence, Some angst, Ghost WWX, BAMF LWJ, BAMF WWX, Domestic WangXian, rogue cultivators wangxian, of sorts, Ghostly Sunshine Husbands: A Guide on Accidental Sect Creation by Hanguang-Jun, Cultivation World Critical, Fix-It, Oblivious WWX, Smitten LWJ, Time Skips)

A-Yuan’s first Inquiry by SaiaiSaiko (G, 1k, LSZ & LWJ, LSZ & WWX, LWJ Plays Inquiry, LSZ Plays Inquiry, Canonical Character Death, Spirits)

~*~

4. (First part moved to FF) where wwx goes to the future (modern) if you have any fanfics like that, I would appreciate it @quwieiidkd

🔒Confusion by Vrishchika (Not rated, 4k, wangxian, time travel)

🧡 The Shade of Old Trees by Kryal (T, 363k, WangXian, Ridiculously Long Notes, History, Canon Divergence, Modern AU, Slow Burn, Worldbuilding, Slow Life, Action/Adventure, Magic Returns, BAMF WWX) which isn't tagged as time travel but has a canon-era Wei Wuxian frozen in a block of ice and, after being discovered in current times and thawed, he has to adjust to the future. / One of my all time top favourites

🔒I Got Isekai'd into a High School Romance But I Used to Be the Founder of Demonic Cultivation! by LizzyPanic (T, 20k, WangXian, Minor XuanLi, Canon Divergence, Modern AU, Reverse Isekai and Transmigration, High School, wwx is a cultivator, no one else is, Pining, Flirting, attempts at humor, gender nonconforming nhs, First Kiss, Good Uncle LQR, Light Angst)

~*~

5. Yilingwei type fics, some have protective commoners. I really wanna say murder of crows by cerbykerby or cradle by dragonesque had that element. I know I've read ones where the locals find the visiting cultivators sus and the cold welcome unnerves the visitors (cause they expected the locals to hate the "great evil") or where locals scam the voting cultivators by over charging for items they wouldn't be familiar with cause snooty & don't shop for themselves

~*~

6. In the mood for:

a) Canon characteristics compliant fics.

b) Fics where Lan Xichen is shady, mean, condescending, or doesn't like Wei Wuxian (Preferably with LWJ standing by his man)

c) modern Fics where WWX is disowned or kicked out of the Jiang but goes on to do well. (Preferably, confident!WWX)

Please 🥺 and thank you 😊 @myblurryreality

For 6B, I didn't mention it but it can be in canon or an AU.

6A)

It's Only Time by etymologyplayground (T, 8k, WangXian, Epistolary, Post-Canon, Canon Compliant, It's About The Yearning., Getting Together, Love Confessions, Cuddling & Snuggling, Humor)

and he sang about the stars by hauntme_then (M, 29k, WangXian, Brotherhood, Growing Up Together, Canon Compliant, Canon-Typical Violence, Angst, Grief/Mourning, Canonical Character Death)

Gathered Herbs & Sweet Grasses by hansbekhart (Not Rated, 19k, LSZ & LWJ, WangXian, dad wangji, LWJ’s Questionable Parenting Skills, Grief/Mourning, Recovery, Injury Recovery, Hopeful Ending, Canon-Typical Violence, Gathered Herbs & Sweet Grasses [podfic] by someplacelikebolivia)

Florescendo by flowercity (FaoriE) (T, 9k, WangXian, Sentient Burial Mounds, Canon Compliant, POV Second Person, POV Third Person, Introspection, there are wangxian scenes but theyre not the focus, Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Kinda, poetic prose, the mortifying ordeal of having hope, Character StudyParallels)

6C)

crimson blue by cherrywhiskey (E, 138k, WangXian, Modern, Arranged Marriage, Angst with a Happy Ending, Marriage of Convenience, genius WWX, Not Jiang Family Friendly, Supportive LQR, Bottom LWJ, Eventual mpreg, Protective WWX, protective LWJ, Soap Opera, with plenty of telenovela tropes, like scheming in-laws, sizzling drama, Romance, AND SO MUCH LOVE & DEVOTION, Power Couple Wangxian, they're smitten with each other, WWX × LQR bonding, soft LWJ, but he also has a temper, WWX's debt & duty factor is heavily focused, baby is not having a good time im sorry, let me show you what Wei Wuxian's love looks like, comes with gorgeous arts) he doesn't get kicked out, more like leaves

Crazy, Rich Cultivators by ShanaStoryteller (Not rated, 13k, wangxian, Modern Cultivation, Idiots in Love, Misunderstandings, POV LWJ, īthis started as a crazy rich asians au but quickly got away from me, light moments of angst but mostly shenanigans)

🔒 Step by step by apathyinreverie (T, 12k, WangXian, Modern AU, JFM and YZY Bashing, not particularly Jiang family friendly, Guilt, Fluff, past angst, Flashbacks, Protective LWJ, Soft WWX, adorable a-yuan, Friendship, Family, Getting Together, Established Relationship, Hurt/Comfort, Domestic Fluff)

Catharsis by Starfell123 (T, 9k, WangXian, Modern Cultivation, mentions of abuse, Mentions of Disownment, Swearing, Friendship, Attempted Arranged Marriage, WWX has gone through therapy, Catharsis, supportive friends, Hurt/Comfort, Happy Ending, Genius WWX, Rich WWX, Bad Parent YZY, Bad Parent JFM, BAMF WWX)

you'll always know me (ana_cp) by anaphoricae (E, 127k, WangXian, Modern, Actor WWX, Teacher LWJ, Getting Back Together, Exes to Lovers, is it exes to lovers if you never quite defined your relationship?, for WangXian it is, Angst with a Happy Ending, LWJ being cute with children alert, WWX rides a motorcycle, LWJ writes as a hobby, ALL THE GOOD THINGS, Back hugs as a love language, Sharing Food as a Love Language, Really anything between them is a love language if you squint hard enough)

~*~

7. Hello! Could someone recommend some fics where wwx is believed dead at the burning of lotus pier/the burial mounds/the beginning of the war and everyone mourns him??? Thank you in advance, have a nice day <333

The Scarlet Lotus by rainbowninja167 (M, 137k, WangXian, Marriage of Convenience, Secret Identity, Fix-It, Angst with a Happy Ending, It Gets Worse Before It Gets Better, Canon-Typical Violence, canon-typical war crimes, Yunmeng Bros, the mortifying ordeal of getting seduced by your own husband, nonlinear chronology we die like cql, just kidding nobody dies in this fic, Slow Burn, Mutual Pining, Miscommunication) doesnt die, but everyone believes he's gone crazy

Lay my body down by tawaen (M, 48k, WWX & WQ, WWX & WN, wangxian, WWX & JYL, Canon Divergence, Time Travel, Rogue Cultivator WWX, Eventual WangXian, No Golden Core Transfer, Not Cultivation World Friendly, Canon-Typical Violence, Not JC Friendly, What if WWX saw the first siege of the burial mounds and said Nope to the war, OCs, OC point-of-view for one chapter for plot reasons)

Go Hiking With a Blindfold On by Hauntcats (Not Rated, 12k, WangXian, WWX & JC, WWX & WQ, Not JC Friendly, Time Travel Fix-It, No Golden Core Transfer, Canon JC Characteristics)

when you’re doing all the leaving (then it’s never your love lost) by tardigradeschool (T, 26k, wangxian, canon divergence, hurt/comfort, canon-typical violence, sharing clothes, sharing a bed, fix-it, golden core transfer)

The Fire Lapping Up the Creek by notevenyou (E, 66k, WangXian, Canon Divergence, Hurt/Comfort, Canon-Typical Violence, Injury, Injury Recovery, Blood, Respiratory Illness, Major Illness, Fever, Grief/Mourning, Burial Mounds, Angst with a Happy Ending, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Hunger and food scarcity, Surgery, Fix-It of Sorts)

only the dead (have seen the end of war) by comforting_monachopsis (T, 42k, wangxian, JYL/JZX, temporary amnesia, BAMF WWX, sad LWJ, grief/mourning, loneliness, mild gore, secret identity, loss of identity, identity porn, angst, humor, crossdressing)

~*~

8. Hello 🥰!

Itmf:

A) Artist Lan Wangji and muse Wei Wuxian. Whether it's painting, photography, sculpture, I'm happy!

B) Wangxian (one or both) being acrobats like in Cirque Du Soleil. I'm talking aerial silks, those things in the air where performers throw other performers to each other, contortionists, etc.

C) One or both of Wangxian as dancers. It can be any kind of dancing (if it's sexual, I'd prefer it if there wasn't a lot of actual sex). Ballroom dancing, ballet dancing, swing dancing, whatever! (I've already read Unstrictly Ballroom by Ariaste).

Thank you!! @acebookdragon47

8A)

when you say nothing at all by sysrae (T, 4k, WangXian, Modern AU, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, artist LWJ, tattoo artist WWX, past angst, Getting Together, emotionally significant art installations, Soulmates)

🔒a reunion is made of words by spookykingdomstarlight (T, 2k, WangXian, Modern AU, Artist LWJ, Estranged Friends to Lovers, Reunions, Chance Meetings, Second Chances)

Muse by LadyVamp (E, 9k, WangXian, WangXianXi, Modern AU, Romance, Tragic Romance, Artist and Muse, Painting, Sex, Explicit Sexual Content)

8B)

fear you won't fall by anaphoricae (E, 87k, WangXian, Modern, Circus, Fire Dancer WWX, Trapeze Artist LWJ, Slow Burn, Rom com vibes, No Angst, Just an overall good time I hope, Come as Lube, Rimming, WWX and LWJ's 'mutual dislike' to 'let's get married tomorrow' pipeline, some scenes of WWX and LWJ being really cute with children. Beware!, Bottom LWJ) circus au with trapeze artist lwj & fire dancer wwx

8C)

Falling to the Rhythm by Selenay (E, 128k, WangXian, Modern: No Powers, Dance, Strictly Come Dancing Fusion, Ballroom Dancing, Dancer!WWX, Violinist LWJ, Pining While Dancing, Oblivious WWX, Gratuitous Costume Descriptions, Gratuitous dancing descriptions, Slow Burn, [Podfic] Falling to the Rhythm by semperfiona_podfic (semperfiona)) Both fics are explicit but I don't believe there're too many explicit scenes in either story.

varied my velocities by fantasiavii (E, 58k, WangXian, Modern AU, Ballerina LWJ, Football/Soccer player WWX, Enemies to Lovers, Top WWX/Bottom LWJ, Dom WWX, Angst with a happy ending, Internalized homophobia) Both fics are explicit but I don't believe there're too many explicit scenes in either story.

Pas de Deux by TriviasFolly (M, 62k, WangXian, Modern AU, ballet dancer lwj, Hip Hop Dancer WWX, dance teacher au, reference to career ending injuries, referenced injuries, Addiction, Drug Addiction, we attempt some pining)

Ugly Duckling by Witch_Nova221 (T, 57k, WangXian, NieLan, Romance, Friends to Lovers, Ballet Dancer WWX, Ballet Dancer LWJ, Theatre, Dance School)

🔒space, skin, muscle, bone by tombenough_and_continent (T, 23k, WangXian, Modern AU, Matthew Bourne's Swan Lake, Non-Linear Narrative, Dance, Background SongXiao, background NieLan, a surprising amount of texting, gratuitous use of ballet terminology)

~*~

9. ITMF where WWX's title is not yiling patriach. Like ghost flute or red lotus or something. It could be that his title was yiling patriach and he or someone change the title to something else. Thanks!

Hand in Hand Together (All Your Life) by sami (T, 41k, JC/WZL, WangXian, Asexual JC, Queerplatonic relationship, Implied future NMJ/JYL, Not Everyone Dies, Canon-Typical Violence, Canon Divergence, Time Travel Fix-It, Honestly at this point you probably know what you're getting with me, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Healing, Slow Burn)

~*~

10. ITMF where LWJ runs away/defecting the lan sect and join the jiang sect. Like after his punishment, he feels trapped in the lan sect and leaves his forhead ribbon and then join the jiang

Bonus if JWY and LWJ become a reluctant partner in crime/coparenting

Another bonus if WWX is the only casualty

Thanks

The Price of Freedom by meyari (T, 32k, WangXian, JC/LWJ, Past Character Death, Grief/Mourning, PTSD, Post-War, Children In Danger, Past Rape/Non-con, Warning: JGS, Physical Abuse, Chronic Pain, Canon-Typical Violence, seriously a lot of grief and loss, no resurrections (yet), LQR Bashing, Execution, excessive discipline, Platonic Relationships) note that it's tagged for JC/LWJ but it actually is more platonic

Delight in Misery by nirejseki (Not rated, 44k, WangXian, JC & WWX, JC & LWJ, JC/LWJ, WIP, Canon Divergence, Accidental Baby Acquisition, Accidental Life Partner Acquisition)

First Love by Kaunakukko (Liitohauki), translation of Первая любовь by AlexVulpinus and Mathew, (M, 109k, JC/LWJ, Memory Loss, Fake/Pretend Relationship, Drama & Romance, Post-First Siege of the Burial Mounds, Translation - English, Original - Russian)

picking up the pieces by KouriArashi (M, 111k, JYL & LWJ, WangXian, Canon Divergence, Alternate Canon, Grief/Mourning, Angst, Regret, Family, Kid Fic, Families of Choice, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Politics, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, Canon-Typical Violence, canon typical political bullshit, Eventual Happy Ending) is an AU where Jiang Yanli lives while Jiang Cheng dies. Lan Wangji takes Yuan to Lotus Pier to raise him alongside Jiang Yanli raising Jin Ling.

❤️ For Both Of Us (And Time Is But A Paper Moon) by sami (E, 65k, WangXian, Time Travel, Some People Live/Not Everyone Dies, Fix-It, Hurt/Comfort, Healing, Yunmeng Shuangjie, Canon Divergence, Asexual JC, First Time, Getting Together, BAMF JC, BAMF LWJ, [Podfic] Cold read of For Both Of Us (And Time Is But A Paper Moon) by kisahawklin, Для нас обоих (И время лишь бумажная луна) (Russian translation) by nomuad) I'm not sure if this is exactly what OP it's looking for, as this is a) a time travel fic and b) LWJ defects to the Jiang sect after the Cloud Recesses lectures. But hopefully OP can still enjoy

~*~

11. ITMF a fic where lwj pines/crushes hard on wwx. light hearted and indulgent vibes, preferably modern au but cloud recesses arc also welcome. thank youu @f1sh1ng4gl0ry

every time we kiss i swear i could fly by sarahyyy (T, 2k, WangXian, College/University, Kissing Booths, Misunderstandings, Getting Together, First Kiss, Love Confessions)

How Wei Ying Went from Oblivious Idiot to Shameless Boyfriend in Three Days by misscam (T, 5k, wangxian, Modern, College/University, Getting Together, Humor)

💖 love on 35mm by fakeplasticlily (M, 26k, wangxian, modern au, college/university au, pining, LWJ is BFFs with JYL)

mating rituals by detectorist (E, 16k, WangXian, XuanLi, Modern AU, College/University, Humour, Pining, Getting Together, Idiots in Love)

🔒 you’ve ruined my life (by not being mine) by cicer (E, 132k, WangXian, Modern AU, Developing Relationship, Idiots in Love, Awkward Flirting, teenage romance, Shameless WWX, slowburn, Demisexuality, references to lqr’s a+ parenting, references to jfm’s a+ parenting, but we’re gonna get a happy ending ANYWAY, references to yzy’s a+ parenting, Background NMJ/LXC, hints of nmj/lxc/jgy, bottom LWJ in chapter 15)

r/relationships by vespertineflora (T, 8k, WangXian, Modern AU, Social Media, Viral Reddit Post, Pining, Crushes, Friends to Lovers, Awkward Flirting, Romantic Gestures, Romantic Comedy, Love Confessions, Kissing, Happy Ending)

it’s just (aah) a little crush (crush!) by sweetlolixo (T, 9k, WangXian, Canon Divergence, Romance, Fluff, Pining LWJ, Humor, Courting Rituals, Teen Wangxian)

~*~

12. For the next itmf I wanted some time travel from post-Canon to the Sunshot campaign, I haven't been able to find anything like this but I'm fairly dure it exists 😢 thank u ♡

🔒 Forget Myself in Memories by geethr75 (T, 10k, JC& WWX, JC & JL, JL & LSZ & LJY & OYZZ, WangXian, LXC & NMJ, JYL/JZX, Junior Quartet Dynamics, Time Travel Fix-It, Juniors travel to the past, Post-Canon, Canon Divergence, double trouble, Past WWX meets future WWX in MXY's body, Past JC meets future JC, Sect Leader JL, Sect Leader OYZZ, Sect Heir LJY, Fluff and Angst, Happy Ending, JGY dies as Meng Yao, SS and JZN dies, JGS dies, WQ & WN lives, JYL & JZX Lives, Canon doesn't exist anymore, no golden core transfer, No golden core melting, The Juniors save the day, WWX saves the day too, Alternate Timelines)

Lynchpin by ShanaStoryteller (Not Rated, 103k, WangXian, JC & WWX, Time Travel, Fix-It)

Stubborn Shadows by secretlyteo (teobunn) (T, 24k, WangXian, Canon Divergence, Time Travel, comes in at the moment WC dies, Wangxian ducking around with their past selves, LSZ is tired and would like to go home)

Time Travel, Obviously by nirejseki (Not Rated, 1k, Time Travel, Crack)

Whatever it takes by Moonlit_dewdrops (T, 115k, JC & WWX, WangXian, JC & WWX & JYL, JC/WQ, JYL & WQ, WWX & WQ, WWX & JGY, WWX & JZX, Canon Divergence, Time Travel Fix-It, Not Everyone Dies, yunmeng prides, POV JC, POV WWX; WQ & WN live, Angst with a Happy Ending, Hurt/Comfort, WWX & JC actually communicate, Yunmeng Siblings fluff, But Also Some Angst, Lots of WangXian moments, Protective JC, Protective LWJ, JGS & JXN will die for sure, NMJ Lives, Twin Prides of Yunmeng Feels, Slow burn but not for Wangxian, Brotherhood, justice for the wen remnants, JYL & JZX Live, Wen Remnants Live, Cinnamon Roll WN, Canon-Typical Violence, Implied/Referenced Cannibalism, reference to wwx’s suicide, Established Relationship, Torture)

🔒 if you can’t beat them, recruit them by moeblobmegane (T, 228k, Wangxian, NHS & WWX, WWX & WQ, Time Travel Fix-It, Conspiracy, Spies & Secret Agents, Team as Family, Found Family, Burial Mounds, Temporary Character Death, Canon-Typical Violence, Pining, Morally Ambiguous Character, Rumors, Politics, Developing Friendships, Good Uncle LQR, Demonic Cultivation, YilingWei Sect)

~*~

13. Hey do yall have any fic recs where wwx needs more recovery after the battle at nightless city at the end of the sunshot campaign? @turtleoftheabyss

Tether by WithBroomBefore (T, 40k, WangXian, SangLi, WWX’s passive suicidality, Canon Divergence, Somebody Lives/Not Everyone Dies, WWX Lives, JYL Lives, Golden Core Reveal, Minor Character Death, Canon-Typical Violence, POV JYL, Grief/Mourning, Sunshot Campaign, Healing, Hurt/Comfort, Family Feels, LWJ makes friends, Fix-It, Happy Ending)

~*~

14. Hi so do you have any fix where wwx is like a mother to the juniors like he gives motherly advice and is a comfort to everyone and acts like a mother too and the juniors secretly refer to him as their mother or some kind of mother figure @constancebloodstone

~*~

15. Hello! ITMF a fic where wangxian spend at least part of the fic living far away from the cultivation world, something where wwx gets a chance to heal and live away from all the politics and drama.

Thank you so much for all the work you do! I’ve found so many wonderful fics scrolling though this blog, you’re amazing!!

💙🔒Away from Trouble by Ilona22 (M, 15k, WangXian, Not JC Friendly, LWJ/WWX Get a Happy Ending)

Discarded by teawater (E, 187k, WIP, WangXian, Canon Divergence, Dying Lan children, Hurt/Comfort, YL WWX, Golden Core Reveal, Case Fic, Depression, Family Issues, Self-Esteem Issues, Self Confidence Issues, Self-Worth Issues, Angst with a Happy Ending, and it’s not always dark, POV Multiple, BAMF WWX, dubious morals in the Lan sect Feels, Pining, Grief, Fix-It, BAMF LWJ)

And They Have Escaped The Weight of Darkness by cosmicmilktea (T, 10k, WangXian, Canon Divergence, Amnesia, Memory Loss, Grief/Mourning, Implied/Referenced Sexual Assault, Screw the Cultivation world tbh, The Lan precepts deserves better, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Falling In Love, domestic life, Social justice boyfriends wangxian, Happy Ending) These next two may also work but Wei Ying develops amnesia in both and doesn't remember his past

🧡 the river brought you here by chilianxianzi (Not Rated, 11k, WangXian, Canon Divergence, POV Outsider, Amnesia, Past abuse, Strangulation, Found Family) These next two may also work but Wei Ying develops amnesia in both and doesn't remember his past

wide enough and wild by impossibletruths (E, 64k, WangXian, Canon Divergence, Getting Together, Canonical Accidental Baby Acquisition, Families of Choice, References to Depression, Happy Ending, I Swear To God I’m Giving Them A Happy Ending, Overzealous Use Of Imagery, Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies, Well Except WN But He Was Already Dead So, Fix-It of Sorts, [Podfic] Wide Enough and Wild by semperfiona_podfic (semperfiona))

~*~

16. ITMF where peoplw found out/relized that the resentful energy is the one that keep WWX alive or functional. Thanks

The Core Issue by Hauntcats (T, 21k, WangXian, Angst with a Happy Ending, Not JC Friendly, Canon Divergence)

❤️ three surgeries and a mercy kill by MarbleGlove (T, 11k, medical procedures, fix-it, Demonic Cultivation, Canon Divergence, Fix-It, Self-Indulgent, WWX Has a New Golden Core, Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies)

🧡 decay by antebunny (G, 15k, WangXian, Canon Divergence, Angst, Misunderstandings, Miscommunication, Fix-It, Angst with a Happy Ending, the fluffiest ending, Hurt/Comfort)

~*~

17. Hi, I'm hoping that someone has recs of mxy being pregnant before bringing back wwx, so when wwx comes back he is pregnant

~*~

If you didn’t get an answer to your ask here, don’t forget to make use of @mdzs-kinkmeme and MDZS KINK MEME on Dreamwidth. Authors actually do use them for ideas. You may get what you order!***Your prompt doesn’t have to be kink! Fluff, crack, whatever - it’s all good!***

[acequinz]

God I love how the more I read mdzs the more I realise there's in fact no perfect good person.

Even WWX and LWJ may have strong and good morals but that doesn't automatically make them perfect good people.

LWJ often comes off as rude and makes a lot of mistakes with WWX and his communication. He doesn't stand up for the Wens because he has responsibilities towards his own sect.

WWX also is purposely rude and while his heart is in the right place he does a lot of things without considering the consequences which does snowball into him having the worst fucking time of his life.

And everyone else is a lot more obviously flawed.

LWJ and WWX often flow under the radar because they are gay and the people around them are doing much worse.

NMJ for all his talk is in fact blind to the very obvious difference in class, it's a very "I don't see colour" as a response to arguments about how racism affects people differently.

JGY is very obviously painted to be the worst for some very appropriate actions(like yeah those things are fucked up and need to be called fucked up) but then even his good actions are painted bad when they were actually helping the people and it boils down to bastard son of a whore. And mind you this wasn't a result of him harming the actual innocent people (the ladies he used to kill jgs) but revenge from NHS cause he killed his brother.

NHS who threw everything away for revenge, the sect and have absolutely no fucks about collateral damage as he chased to squash jgy to ground. (Yes it brought WWX back so I am not mad about it but it's clearly nothing good.)

Jiang Cheng is Jiang Cheng.

LXC was being LXC and he was gay and in love with an "eviler" gay man. He was too passive in the Jgy vs NMJ thing because he kept trying to fix it and while I understand his reasons I think NMJ would have lived longer if he didn't have to interact with jgy as much as he did.

Now there are morally good people.

LWJ and WWX because the author specifically said they were.

It doesn't mean they are perfect, they are stumbling and falling over their feet too and I love that so much.

Like fuck yes!!!! Fumble and stand back up while you can.

And also LWJ may stand with his cancelled wife but if at any point WWX does actually lose his morality LWJ would strike him down because honestly it's what WWX would want too and he would be miserable about it. LWJ stands with his cancelled wife not someone who is purposely committing wrongs.

[mariana-oconnor]

The Illustrious Client pt 2

Last time we were dealing with a hypnotist, it seemed, who was doing everything short of tying women to railway tracks and twirling his moustaches to show Holmes how evil he is.

Honestly, it's probably a little surprising that it's taken this long for hypnotism to show up in these stories, as it seems right up ACD's alley

And we're about to meet an old friend of Holmes' who has simply never come up before.

...a huge, coarse, red-faced, scorbutic man, with a pair of vivid black eyes which were the only external sign of the very cunning mind within.

"Scorbutic" apparently means affected by scurvy, which I had never come across before. Does that mean his gums are bleeding? The NHS tells me it might also mean red or blue spots on the skin.

Mr Johnson, may I introduce you to the joys of... fruit and veg.

Please stop your gums from bleeding. Please.

...a slim, flame-like young woman with a pale, intense face, youthful, and yet so worn with sin and sorrow that one read the terrible years which had left their leprous mark upon her.

From scurvy to leprosy, once again being particularly flattering in your descriptions, Watson. Though I do love the 'flame-like' here. That's very evocative.

“Hell, London, gets me every time. Same address for Porky Shinwell. We're old mates, Porky, you and I. But, by cripes! there is another who ought to be down in a lower hell than we if there was any justice in the world!"

I like Kitty. I hope she doesn't die. She feels like a parody of a Victorian cockney character. It's beautiful.

There was an intensity of hatred in her white, set face and her blazing eyes such as woman seldom and man never can attain.

I guess women are just better at hating things?

Does it though? Idek, such a weird thing to divide by gender.

"He would speak of someone in his velvet way and then look at me with a steady eye and say: ‘He died within a month.’"

This guy really needs to stop telling people about the crimes he's committed. I get that you're an arrogant dickhead, but surely there must be some room for brains in your head beside all that hubris. Maybe think before you speak? And don't just think 'oh how awesome and evil I am tee hee hee'.

I'm sorry, I just get annoyed when I see bad guys making such obvious, preventable mistakes. At least be good at being evil, if you're going to do it. Do it properly.

"It's a book he has—a brown leather book with a lock, and his arms in gold on the outside. I think he was a bit drunk that night, or he would not have shown it to me.”

Oh for- Do you write it all down? Tell me you don't have a very secret evil diary of all your very secret evil deeds. Please... Please don't be that guy.

I get that this is realistic, because serial killers and horrible people do take trophies. But still...

Also, Adelbert is a name I've heard of before but never actually seen used.

“No good,” said Shinwell Johnson with the decided voice of the expert. “No fence wants stuff of that sort that you can neither melt nor sell.”

Shinwell Johnson here reminding us not only that he exists and that he is a criminal, but also possibly the most competent criminal in this story. Good for him.

“I am not out for money. Let me see this man in the mud, and I've got all I've worked for—in the mud with my foot on his cursed face. That's my price."

Vengeance!!!

Yes. I like Kitty a lot.

"If your head is inclined to swell, my dear Watson, take a course of Miss Violet de Merville."

S-tier line. This is just perfection. I love it.

"I pictured to her the awful position of the woman who only wakes to a man's character after she is his wife—a woman who has to submit to be caressed by bloody hands and lecherous lips. I spared her nothing—the shame, the fear, the agony, the hopelessness of it all."

Holmes going hard. I feel disgusted and I'm just getting the description of the description. This story has a lot of excellent turns of phrase in it. This section is particularly repellent.

"'...you needn't look at me like that, my fine lady, for you may be lower than I am before you are through with it.’"

Kitty is the best and I want her to be in every story from now on. You tell her. Go for the throat. I know it's not going to work, but yes!

"And it did. Their blow fell—or his blow rather, for never could I believe that the lady was privy to it."

So women are capable of more hatred than men, but they aren't capable of things like this. You have a very confused and tangled view of gender, Watson. Who hurt you?

But they eloped, didn't they? But then she'd definitely be privy to that.

"There, black upon yellow, was the terrible news-sheet: Murderous Attack Upon Sherlock Holmes"

Well, I suppose in a way that's better... because clearly he's not dead. And also that means that Holmes will have some sort of evidence against him.

Adelbert really needs to learn not to overplay his hand. If you're so sure that nothing can go wrong, just... wait it out. She'll marry you and everything will be fine. Patience.

[jasontoddiefor]

Absolutely begging for the trans WWX who’s living her best life as Lady Mo, I’m obsessed with this au

(Also I just want you to know there is now a crack version of this incredible au in my head where upon meeting “Lady Mo” playing Wangxian for Sizhui, Lan Zhan has a full on falls to his knees clutching WWX’s going “you’re as beautiful as the day I lost you” alla HTTYD 2, gets a dramatic (to Sizhui, read confused for WWX) “Lan Zhan!?” in response and the Lan Zhan (in an actual miracle of being able to communicate) goes “I raised A-Yuan all of these years for you, I’ve raised our son into a wonderful cultivator” (the miracle has ended, and WWX is currently bluescreening trying to connect the dots of teen I am traveling with is baby I loved what do you mean our son ooo wait Lan Zhan thinks I’m pretty!)

And thus creates the misunderstanding for Sizhui that “Lady Mo” is actually his apparently not-dead mom who’s apparently been vibing as a wandering musician for the past 13 years. Sizhui goes through the five stages of grief before settling on “I can work with this” as a-niang starts showering him with affection and apparently thought he was dead and thus began Sizhui’s grand scheme of luring his incredibly oblivious mother into marriage with his father and it becomes “unstoppable force vs unmovable object, second times the charm on baby trapping, right?” adventures.

This doesn’t matter but it’s important to me that you know this popped into my head. This au is absolutely incredible and there is so much comedy gold. NHS has been left alone in the group project but he still manages to scramble together enough to pass decently, good for him)

1 (Ao3) | 2 (tumblr)

aaah I'm flattered to hear that!! and tbh, it's not so much that NHS has been left alone in the group project but that he decided on the project and then didn't call anyone to do their parts. never got to write it but i figured the whole reveal would go sth like this:

Gusu doesn't look like Wei Ying remembers it, but it has been decades since her attendance. After the war, well, for all that Lan Zhan had asked her to visit, she'd never accepted it.

And look at her now! Going to the Cloud Recesses voluntarily, accompanied by Lan Zhan's little juniors. They're good kids, polite and inquisitive and opinionated and so very alive. She wondered how much Lan Zhan must have changed in the last years to raise them this well.

What if Wei Ying doesn't recognize him at all? No, that can't be. Lan Zhan was too memorable for Wei Ying to ever forget a single detail about him.

"Just ahead now, Lady Mo," says Lan Sizhui. "I'm not sure if my father is home. He's taken to traveling more...."

He trails off, his face splitting into a smile as he looks ahead. "He's there!"

Wei Ying expects some unfamiliar Lan, but no, standing there is Lan Zhan. He looks older, refined, and happy at their return.

Oh, thinks Wei Ying. I always want him to look at me like that.

Playing the dizi isn't always for pleasure, especially chenqing, summoning all kinds of evil, but the song Lan Zhan taught him is like homecoming. Wei Ying watches in delight as Lan Zhan's eyes widen in recognition, she thinks.

The juniors look at her in wonder, but Wei Ying pulls the dizi from her lips with a smile.

"Lan Zhan!" she calls, "Lan Zhan, I heard you're walking around, clearing my name!" And then, just for pleasure, just for herself, she calls his name again. "Lan Zhan, I've been traveling! I've seen the world and it's alive."

I'm alive, I'm here, won't you ask me to come with you a final time?

Wei Ying can't place Lan Zhan's expression until it breaks into something hopeful, something grieving, something lost.

"Wei Ying?"

[kmze]

1920’s ripper Stefan was something else 🤤 what’s your fave ripper Stefan era?

So my absolute biased answer is S6 Ripper Stefan because he was OBSESSED with Caroline and that's how I like my Stefan, completely obsessed with Caroline. But I am instead going to give you an episode from each Ripper Stefan era because what I love about Ripper Stefan is he revels in all the qualities that Regular Stefan tries to keep hidden, his mean side.

3x03: 1920s Ripper Stefan was A MOMENT! The fact that he had two original vampires obsessed with him because he had such charm and charisma while also being a completely manipulative psychopath was awesome to watch. When he made that guy drink his wife's blood and Klaus looked in awe like "he's the worst person I've ever met, I want to travel the world with him" one of the best flashbacks the show ever did.

6x17: Probably my favorite Ripper Stefan episode because he took to heart what he said in 3x11 to beat the villain you gotta me the better villain. NH!Caro completely outsmarted him and he had no idea she'd be as ruthless as he was in getting him to shut it off to leave her alone and he wanted revenge. The way he used everything he taught her about her bloodlust to get her to lose control was a masterclass in manipulation only Stefan could pull off. The way him seducing Caroline by feeding on that girl to make her give up control paralleling with him teaching her control in the bathroom. Lives rent free in my mind.

8x08: Again this was about teaching Damon a lesson, he was pissed Damon tricked him into making that deal with Cade (he said it twice) and thinking this would be easy for Damon. He was also mad Damon had something that was triggering his humanity. The way he used Dr. Elena in his diabolical plan because he loves nothing more than messing with people, hell that was the first thing he taught NH!Caro to do after she let go, fuck with people. He kept giving people morality tests and it was a joy to watch, I love when the show embraces the fact that deep down Stefan is the more evil brother. When his humanity is on he fights against it but when it's not he is one of the best villains on the show.

[sneezemonster15]

I hate when Narusakus mock Naruhinas for being a "filler ship" because of all the Hinata fillers SP pushed but then turn around and use filler scens with Naruto and Sakura to prove Naruto always loved Sakura!! It's so hypocritical. One filler moment that comes to mind is when Naruto tells that one woman that Sakura is the girl he fell in love with and talked about her cute smile.

Haha yeah that one. But like, aren't all of those ships hypocritical? Nh stans take Naruto telling Hinata that she is strong in the war arc to be the proof that she is strong and he admires her but simply ignore all the other times, almost every time, when she falls down flat on her face or enters a battlefield without thinking or stumbles on a tinny rock or shows next to no level of skill or intellect. Or when NH proclaim Naruto to love Hinata because he breaks out into kyuubi after she is struck by Pein but simply ignore all the other extenuating circumstances that surround that moment? That Naruto was already in a very vulnerable state and he would have turned kyuubi for almost anyone else at that moment? And this is all canon.

Like sure, you are entitled to your gripe and I get it. But honestly, most shippers and all ships are like this. Even in SNS subsets, you would see SN stans announce Naruto and Sasuke symbolising moon and half moon using filler images from anime (with Ashura and Indra) when it's pretty clear for anyone to see that they are sun and moon. In canon. They are so ridiculous.

Anti SNS are very funny too. I mean these sillies would reblog my anti Sakura or anti Hinata posts with tags like - so real or well said OP, or great analysis OP, but when I talk SNS, all of a sudden, they start to doubt my analysis because it doesn't satisfy their takes. Similarly, Hinata stans reblog my anti Sakura content and Sakura stans reblog my anti Hinata content.

Seriously, this fandom is the definition of hypocrisy. Itachi stans, Sasuke stans, Naruto stans. What have you? Tobirama stans who also ship SNS would scream till their lungs gave out about how Hinata and Sakura stans are hypocritical about their favs but when it comes to Tobirama, they will gush about how he was portrayed as a good leader but ignore Kishi himself giving him derogatory names or his understanding of sharingan which is really stupid at best and evil at worst. Mentioning SS stans in this context would certainly be overkill. Lol.

Anon, except for a few handful of fans, most that I have seen have been hypocritical about something or the other. And they don't realize it. And would fight you about it too, which makes them look very sad.

I don't like some things about the manga myself. But I deliberately make it a point to stick to canon and not headcanon, reason and not wish fulfilment because I realize it's very easy to go down the slippery slope of seeing what one wants to see. It's insidious. People almost don't realize they are doing it. Some people have the honesty to acknowledge it when someone points it out to them. But Naruto fandom isn't really known for honesty or sincere introspection.🤷

[tavina-writes]

Do you mind if I ask your top 10 favorite characters (can be male or female) from all of the media that you loved (can be anime/manga, books, movies or tv series)? And why do you love them? Sorry if you've answered this question before.....Thanks....

This is a difficult one! I've loved a LOT of characters over the years even if the current blorbo of interest is NHS from MDZS/CQL bc he's just such a fun little guy BUT lets see if I can try to do this chronologically and not in like, any character ranking fashion:

1 & 2: these two characters are absolutely the rulers of my heart: Huang Rong and her father, Huang Yaoshi from Legend of the Condor Heroes by Jin Yong. I just love my beloved spoiled conwoman princess and her insane evil wuxia version Maes Hughes dad so much. I could write so many essays about the Huangs and how they mean so much to each other and also to me. I'm always insane about family members who have complex relationships with each other and that's super evident with them.

3. Uchiha Madara from Naruto. Now, people who have known me for a long time know that I am a Naruto girlie, and that I skipped all the way to "Sasuke's Insane and Sad Pathetic Ancestor" on the character likes list. I love insane murder men and Madara is an insane murder man! He's also very sad. What's there not to like about him truly.

4. Mirasol from Chalice by Robin McKinley. I have a deep love for beauty and the beast narratives and this one ALSO had magic bees. I love Mirasol for her kindness and her devotion even in the wake of massive change and I have a special fondness for the entire story of Chalice both for the lovely worldbuilding and also Mirasol herself.

5&6. Sansa Stark and Cersei Lannister from A Song of Ice and Fire. I really really love both of these characters for entirely opposing but also really similar reasons! I love them for their flaws. For being stuck in their positions in a world that's really just! not! kind to them! and how they take that and go in such different directions.

7. Sheng Rulan from The Story of Minglan. I have such a soft spot for Rulan. She's petty, she's spoiled, she has so much love and holds onto her principles and her dreams so tightly, she's her father's least favorite child despite also being a legitimate daughter, she finds love, she's so cute, she's the clearest sighted of all four of the Sheng sisters, she's got such a growth arc to her, I love her SO SO MUCH. (I love all three of her sisters too don't get me wrong, Rulan is just my favorite.)

8. Wei Yingluo from The Story of Yanxi Palace. Yingluo! My girl! Never have I ever seen a female lead with so much pent up rage and desire to get even in a story that does not judge her for her hard edges and her propensity for violence. I love that about her. I love how kindness and cruelty and how her quest for vengeance never destroys her ability to love and care for others and recognize other people's genuine kindness and the difficulties other people face in life. I love her shrewdness and her determination to survive too! I'm just! So fond of her!

9. Jaskier from The Witcher (TV). I RARELY TALK ABOUT. MY UNAGING BARD BLORBO. BUT I LOVE HIM. I love the messy relationship Jaskier, Geralt and Yennefer have in the Witcher TV show and I REALLY love the way that Jaskier is portrayed. I don't know anything about the games but! I just! I love! This annoying kind of foppish man because annoying foppish male characters are another beloved character archetype for me, see below.

10. Nie Huaisang from The Untamed/Modao Zushi. Beloved Blorbo. Little crimes man. Unfilial and spoiled. Beloved for being SO jiggly and full of trauma and his tragedy is writ large to me because it! powers! the plot! without his tragedy there is no plot! he burns down his social circle because he loves his brother! There's just so much in here that's like, oh god. I love that he's an annoying foppish dandy and that he loves his pets and creature comforts and that he doesn't enjoy working hard and has so many problems. This too is life. I love this little guy I want to rotate him for a good long time.

[wytchia]

ok so tell me: which movie the NH boys would choose to watch? Oppenheimer or Barbie?

I love this question! Apologies if some of the characters are OC, I haven't played or talked about this game in a LONG time

NIGHTMARE HAREM :

OPPENHEIMER OR BARBIE ?

𝕃𝕦𝕔𝕚𝕒

I feel like he would want to watch Oppenheimer at first because he thinks Barbie is too ''girly''

And he's the future king so a movie about politics is necessary...right?

We all know that Mefy is the only one with a brain in their family...

But let's be honest, in reality this man is a Barbie movie watcher.

When he saw the trailer and heard people talk about it, he gave up all motivation he had for Oppenheimer and RAN to get tickets

He tried to get Levy to come with him, but he said no

That one guy to dress in full pink and yell ''HI BARBIE'' ''HI KEN'' at every single person he sees.

Every. Single. One.

He cries at the ending and he probably spent the whole movie insulting the antagonists

When he goes back home, he starts a deep conversation at dinner about feminism and womanhood

Does he buy Barbie merch? Fuck yes, he does.

Probably bitched for 20 minutes to Kaim about having seen Mikael at the theater

𝕃𝕖𝕧𝕪

Oppenheimer.

I do not take any objections, this man goes to see Oppenheimer.

He spends his days reading books about war and military tactics, there's no way he wouldn't want to watch a movie about war and bombs

Plus he believes it makes him more mature than Lucia

In reality, the simple fact that Lucia asked him to go see Barbie together was enough for him to completely boycott the movie.

He's embarassed by Lucia's new greetings tactics

He goes with Mefy and is amazed by the plot of the movie

He's not a fan of the more dramatic side of the story, he finds it quite boring. But he LOVES the whole military and war aspect of it.

He probably asks Lucia to add a bomb to their weapons, afterall it would be perfect to annihilate the angels !

Totally no risks whatsoever, right?

He definitely has a list of advantages for it and notes he took while watching the movie.

Lucia said no.

You would think this man would go see Barbie, right? Afterall, he just got those Barbie vibes

𝕄𝕖𝕗𝕪

WRONG.

This guy goes to Oppenheimer, he thinks Barbie is too boring and not violent enough

What did you expect?He ordered the execution of his two brothers and closest servants in his bad ending

He doesn't care that Barbie actually hasa deeper meaning, it doesn't have near enough pain and despair for him to be interested by it

He just want to see people suffer

Isn't rooting for any camp in the movie

He's rooting for the bomb to explode on everyone

Goes with Levy to see the movie and takes mental notes for his evil plans

Mikael immediately throws them away once he receives them

Giggles when there's a tragic scene and rolls his eyes everytime a character survives

He wants everyone to perish

He's the guy to spoil the ending to the next wave of people going inside the room

He's not sorry about it

He would go watch Barbie to spoil it to Lucia later

He goes to see Barbie for two reasons

𝕆𝕤𝕨𝕒𝕝𝕕

The first one being Kurt and his damned sad puppy eyes

The second one being that Oppenheimer is way too intense for him. We know for a fact that Oswald is a very soft person and that he tries to keep control over the reaper side of himself so there's no way he's going to see a movie about war

And the movie would make him sad

He would also probably go crazy just by the blood on the screen

Therefore he goes to see Barbie and he might put on some pink accents and accessories just to make Kurt happy

But nothing more, he really doesn't want to stand out in the crowd.

Despite his best efforst to stay discret, he will be flirted with by TONS of people

A big muscular guy going to see Barbie ? Anyone would be luckuy to have him

Spends half of hi paycheck on the arcade games and on snacks because it's Kurt's first time going to the movie theater and he wants the boy to have the time of his life

He went with Kaim and Kurt, but somehow Noel ended up tagging along

Nobody knows how or why, Noel is just there.

Neither, he's too busy and he really doesn't care.

𝕂𝕒𝕚𝕞

If he really had a choice, he would go see Oppenheimer because it's more realistic and could potentially be useful for the upcoming war in Nightmare

Sadly, he doesn't actually have a choice and is dragged to go see Barbie with Lucia

Lucia really didn't take Levy's rejection very well

He has to stop Lucia from screaming ''HI BARBIE'' or ''HI KEN'' at every single stranger they see

Is actually embarassed by Lucia's antics and just wishes to go back to the manor

His headache worsen when Lucia and Mikael sports each other and start to argue in the movie theater

He's this close to leave without Lucia

Swears to himself that he won't even go see a movie to a movie theater again

He ends up going again with Kurt and Oswald because Kurt gave him the sad puppy eyes.

Please someone let this man rest

𝕂𝕦𝕣𝕥

Barbie.

And Kaim gets him a little pink suit just for the occasion.

Let's be honest, Kurt is just a child and seeing how sensible he was in the game, I think he deserves to go see a more upbeat and colorful movie than Oppenheimer.

Especially since he lives in a place where war is a common reality, I believe that making him go see Oppenheimer would just make him worry even more about the conflicts between the angels and demons in Nightmare.

And he's a sweetheart so he deserves to go have some fun and laugh !

Probably asked Kaim what was a gynecologist after the movie

Kaim regretted going against his self-promise

He totally begged Oswald and Kaim to come with him and he spent the whole movie whispering to them

Ends up whispering to Noel instead and they become friends

Barbie.

𝕄𝕚𝕜𝕒𝕖𝕝

If he could, he would rent out the whole move theater just to not see anyone and watch his damn movie in peace

He just hates other people

This man doesn't give a shit about potential military tactics or war, he has Ricardo for that

And he's nuts enough fpor the both of them

So he goes to watch Barbie and bringes Noel with him because he needs someone to gossip with

He's the type to give judgemental stares at other people in the queue

Ricardo tags along and ends up complaining about it despite not being forced to come

He was even strongly encouraged to not come at all

When he sees Lucia in the movie theater he immediately makes snippy comments and snarky remarks about his outfit

Mikael wouldn't dress in full pink, but he would add pink undertones to his robes

This man is clearly HOOKED by the plot of the movie

He's LIVING it

Can and will shush anyone else talking during the movie. He just wants the premium experience and he won't let those peons ruin it for him

Just like Kaim, he doesn't care. He doesn't have time for this.

ℕ𝕠𝕖𝕝

But Mikael requested he joins him to go see Barbie.

So obviously he will go see Barbie.

He will also wear pink accessories and undertones of his usual attire, just like Mikael

He finds the Kens annoying and overall thinks most of the characters are creepy

Like why are they always smiling ??

He ends up being invested and probably slapped/ shushed Ricardo at least 5 times in the frist 20 minutes of the movie

Please make this man shut up

Ends up getting lost in the bathroom and almost murders Lucas, but Mikael finds him before he does

Later on, Ricardo will drag him to go see Oppenheimer

He hates it. Not because of the plot but because Ricardo and his ''friends'' won't keep quiet for 5 minutes

He feels weird after the movie...Almost sad. It hit too close to home for his comfort. He usually doesn't mind bloos, he's an assassin afterall...But he didn't like the tight feeling in his chest during the dramatic scenes.

Almost murders Lucas in the bathroom again

But this time no one comes to find him

Ricardo forgot him at the movie theater

Noel is just standing there wondering what to do and spots Oswald,Kaim and Kurt from afar

He ends up watching Barbie a second time

He's pissy about being near them, especially Oswald, but he won't stop followi9ng them around either

He befriends Kurt

Mikael sends out a search party for him the next morning since he went to sleep to the demons' manor

Decides to tag along to go see Barbie

ℝ𝕚𝕔𝕒𝕣𝕕𝕠

He will wear pink undertones like Mikael and if anyone dares to make fun of it they get a gun to their temple

He almost gets kicked out of the movie theater

Will make fun of Mikael and Noel all long the movie even though he's just as into it as them

Probably that one guy that doesn't see why Ken is the antagonist and doesn't understand the hidden message of the movie

He still boos Ken every time he appears on screen for shit and giggles

And whistle Barbie

For shit and giggles

Lucia accidentally says ''HI KEN'' to him and he was traumatised by the very lewd answer Ricardo gave him in return

Throws popcorn at the screen

Overall, he guy no one wants to have in their room at the movie theater

After he goes to see Oppenheimer with some friends

He drags Noel along to make him ''man up''

Ah toxic masculinity at it's finest

He ends p forgetting him at the movie theater

He's having the time of his life and laugh at everyone tragic scene

He hates every single character

But ta the edn, he grows attached to them and is on the edge of his seat

He will find a way to get Mikael to agree with a bomb fro the army

And he will totally spoil both movies to everyone just to be an asshole

Probably goes to both of them.

𝕃𝕦𝕔𝕒𝕤

He has no friends, please go with him

He somehow guesses the ending of both movies

He still cries at the ending of both movies and has no one to comfort him because he went alone

He absolutely loved Barbie and it only reinforced his feminist mindeset

Oltea has that effect on people

He wears a full bright pink outfit and gets so many compliments for it when he goes to see Barbie

He probably befriends the person sitting next to him

When he goes to the bathroom and sees Noel, he's thrilled to see the other man also went to see Barbie!

He ends up with a knife to his throat

When he goes to see Oppenheimer, he just gets sad

Why can't everyone find peace ? Why must people resolve their conflicts with violence and cruelty ?

Just like Noel, it hits too close to home for his comfort and he almost has a mental breakdown

He gets comforted by a group of nice ladies and when he goes to the bathroom to freshen up he sees Noel

Another knife to the throat!

Ends up going to a nearby bar with the group of ladies that comforted him and he finally found some friends

He's apart of the girls' club now

[dream-meister-translations]

TILIA - VOICE COLLECTION

━

"Master, where are you going? …To buy a stuffed animal? Can I come with you?"

"Master is such a good girl… It's boring… Let's do something bad, shall we?"

"Once you peel off the skin, human beings are all full of malice. Master is no exception… Right?"

"Mmm~♪… I love it… I can smell the stench of evil on you. "

"You're not tryna do good things again today, are you? Don't you ever get tired of it, Master~?"

"I like bad boys~…"

"Huh, you're tired, aren't you?"

"I wouldn't have minded losing. That would have been just fine."

"Ooh-La-La. Isn't that a shame, Master~?"

"Ugh… Can't I skip the search? It's not like it's gonna make a difference if they go alone…"

"Hmm? Exploration, you say~? We can go, but… I wouldn't get your hopes up."

"Inside the Master Key is a really mysterious place, huh? It's… Strangely cozy~…"

"Great job on the search~! What did I think about it? I don't ever wanna go back♪!"

"Everyone seems to have such different pasts~ Well, that has nothing to do with me~!"

"Now's the time to be the good guy!"

"Nh~… I can't breathe whenever I'm with you master~ …Don't smile at me like that. I don't like it."

"…Hm, I guess the essence of human nature is absolutely evil after all, huh?"

"I'm laughing my ass off at the idea that humans are 'good'. Because there's all kinds of things wrong with you, really."

"You don't have to be good anymore. Why don't we just do whatever bad things we want? Everyone's evil after all!"

"Master is such a stubborn human, isn't she? I'll definitely break through that good guy facade of yours one day."

━

TILIA : It's impossible to convert a human being into something good… I mean look at you, you're a hypocrite and a creep. ALMA : Don't say that! You can understand anyone if you talk to them! There's no such thing as a bad guy!

━

TILIA : Just is a revolutionary~… At least, you say that, but then you end up doing whatever you want. Isn't that kind of… Evil? JUST : If that's what you think, then watch!! I'll show you exactly where my glorious revolution will lead! And how it will end!

━

TILIA : Hmm… If you look closely at Navi… He's actually really soft and fluffy… Like a stuffed animal… NAVI : H-Hey! Can you stop staring at me with that weird look on your face!? It's giving me the creeps!

━

NAVI : Ugh, it's so gloomy and my hair's getting all sticky. Can we go home nowww? TILIA : I guess so. We've worked hard enough, right? Let's quit it for today.

━

TILIA : If we don't come back with results, we might just get thrown away. NAVI : Oh, that's fine. It's not like we matter anyway, right? We're just helpless fairies★

━

NAVI : Searching for the truth~★! I think there could be no greater cause for Tilia and me~, wouldn't you agree~? TILIA : That's true. Though I think you not just giving up the search is commendable enough on its own.

━

TILIA : Fromm is such a wimp, always scared that he's gonna mess everything up. Well just mess everything up anyway. It'll be easier that way. FROMM : Eh!? No way, I can't do it! I'm as worthless as a stone in the ocean. I don't have the guts…

━

JUST : These fluffy treats are getting sparse… I should've packed some more before we left! TILIA : You shouldn't worry so much. It's not like we need to work that hard on these searches, do we? Let's just skip it this time~

━

JUST : Mmm!? If you look closely, you can seee that Tilia's tail is… No. No. We must concentrate on our search for now! TILIA : Lykos's is fluffier. Please, give him all the pets he deserves~! I don't care if he doesn't like it!

━

TILIA : Hey, hey, Fromm? We've done enough exploring, can we take a break now~? FROMM : Eh? Well… We still need to finish exploring this area, so we can't take a break yet…

━

JUST : Tilia! My fellow revolutionary! Thanks to you, we have truly achieved something we can be proud of! TILIA : Huh? You really think you can just say what you want, don't you~? Well, I don't like it and that's just fine by me.

━

TILIA : Fromm, let's slack off. If you work too hard, you'll make Master worry. And you don't want that do you~? Hmm~♪ FROM : What? Oh, is that so… But I've always been a bit of a liability… I want to do my best today…

━

FROMM : What!? Tilia! You weren't just lying to the humans, but me as well…!? TILIA : I thought Master would get upset if Fromm skipped work… Ugh… They're so boring.

[garnetcoloredsky]

XiSang Twitter Thread that Twitter Broke and So It’s Tumblr’s Problem Now

really any combo of 3zunSang works for me tbh, but I’ve recently enjoyed the thought of everything being canon ……until NHS decides he’s going to take LXC away from A-Yao too, just because he can.

he’s grieving, er-ge 🥲 and Da-ge would’ve wanted you to take care of him…

I swear I do like A-Yao but also I just want him to have to suffer ☺️ because he’s made his choice. No Lan Furen for him. And it’s not like NHS is doing it on purpose, right?

And the last thing he sees at Guanyin Temple is LXC finally letting him go, like the monster he is. ☺️

I mean, it’s fine. Probably makes it easier for Da-ge to forgive him in the coffin, tbh.

“Crafty little fucker, isn’t he?” Da-ge says, more than a little smug. He has mixed feelings on the subject of his didi’s actions but still, being impressed is a major one.

Anyway I believe LXC’s seclusion still happens and at first NHS thinks he’s won, what does he care about er-ge? he deserves to suffer a bit.

but then he feels bad? his childhood affection for the man died with Da-ge but not all of it. This game to steal LXC wasn’t all pretend…

Somehow he manages to steal LXC out from under Wangji’s nose (who does NOT approve!! evil man doesn’t deserve!!!) and take him back to Qinghe.

Slowly, it does help, actually. Nobody looks at Xichen like they pity him. The Nie don’t treat him as anything more than a man. One to be respected, yes, but not like he’s made of glass.

And with nothing more to hide, NHS starts to outwardly be the sect leader that he has been all along. He’s fair and just, kind, wise. LXC sits in on his councils and is mildly blown away by how capable he really is 0-0

it’s kinda hot, ngl.

the Lan do need Xichen back eventually, or at least for him to pass the mantle of SL onto Wangji. and Xichen knows what he’s expected to do. he’s always done what was expected, even if it kept him apart from Da-ge and A-Yao. he’s never been selfish.

And NHS, self-declared king of bratty behavior (though that time has mostly passed), asks him to stay. No wheedling, no tears, no tricks.

They do, I think, have to fight about it a bit. NHS did pursue Xichen just for the sake of torturing A-Yao, to be fair. But that was just how it started. And really, did Xichen not want someone to choose him, damn all responsibility?

Hell, NHS would give up his position, if he asked. He never wanted it anyway. That wasn’t something Da-ge and A-Yao would offer. They loved him, but…life got in the way

And LXC realizes that maybe he does want to be selfish. That he exists to be more than the perfect son, the First Jade. That he can just be Lan Huan, and position doesn’t have control over his happiness anymore.

Love is tentative between them.

LXC exhales for the first time in his life. Books and sweets appear on his bedside table as if by magic. He writes music, and poetry, and leaves those pages on Huaisang’s desk.

They laugh together, for the first time in more than a decade. They cry over memories. Happiness sneaks up on them through the clouds of grief. It’s not the life either of them envisioned.

But if this was a world in which they could wait for the return of those lost, I think they would. And they wouldn’t be alone.

…….this was not as fucky as I intended it to be but that’s because I like all parties involved. also LXC deserves therapy. they all do, really.

[llycaons]

ep34 (1/2): jeez this is so painful

yeah gonna be real here guys this first half is probably one of my least favorite parts of the show. boring, drawn-out, confusing, unnecessarily complicated, making lwj act all weird and cold, jarring tonal shifts and disrespectful handling of very serious and character-relevant trauma. it's kind of shit

I skipped the scene where wwx was funning because they made him look so absurd and they turned it into a joke and it always pisses me off, but lwj flipping over the crowd like this was kind of funny at least

this running joke is also pretty funny

as a contrast to nhs, I imagine

THERE HE IS!!!

I don't like this scene at all, nor do I like the multiple shots back to lwj to make extremely small expressions responding to the info we just learned. like, so what? also his hairpiece is genuinely too big for his head imo

so this is something. wwx is clearly afradi of dogs, but never comes out and says it. instead, he says they chased after him on the streets and then jc had to give up his dogs, and then he transitions right into remarking bitterly how jl is just like jc (also hates him). not so much a discussion of wwx himself as it is a reflection on how he feels about his relationships right now

wwx physically grabbing and yanking lwj around is kind of fun but he was so mean to wwx this episode I got so mad! like, he seemed frustrated and annoyed with wwx for being scared and he ignored him earlier in the marketplace and lost track of him and now he's just being very cold and not offering any comfort or understanding. I've never liked or understood why he acts like this here. it's not like this behavior is what he normally does later or what he did right when wwx came back

HA. yeah this section is super long and boring and confusing but this was funny

see THIS is more like lwj, wwx tells him to go chase the spy and that he'll meet him later, but lwj is unwilling to leave him until wwx emphasizes I WILL meet you later I promise

however this is also very stupid because how can nhs outrun lwj??? one of the strongest cultivators in the world??? I guess they do know who it is immediately but if so, why not tell US? this is irritating, the way they come to conclusions silently then don't tell the audience

I love it when he complains. people characterize wwx as uncomplaining too much but by postres he is DONE

oh my god is that the same charm? OOF

this scene is so pretty I love the ground and the lights

jc saying that he can control jl no matter how old he is 😬😬😬

goddammit wwx stop agreeing with jc for misogynistic reasons

oh and this scene is SO stupid. ruins a dramatic and powerful reveal by making his fear of dogs into a stupid joke AGAIN

something I noticed back in ep33 was how disappointed jc looked after wwx fell. he looks the same here.

fuck, here we go. the infamous inn scene

their conversation here is really interesting and reveals a lot, but it's just so hard to watch bc wwx is currently being tormented and clearly isn't thinking as clearly as he would be otherwise. you know if the situations were reversed jc would be cursing wwx to take the dog away and would refuse to even have a conversation

he tries here, for a few seconds, to be cold and detatched. to not even look up as wwx whimpers. but he fails, in the end, he's too angry. throwing that tea cup across the room made me flinch

he literally killed himself man idk what more you expect him to do

oh I think this was translated differently elsewhere as 'you're the one who hasn't grown up,' I liked that

oh this is evil, one of the most evil things he ever does - tell fairy to come closer, terrify wwx into silence and then, what? prove that he, jc, is stronger after all? that he's more adult? maybe just use it as an excuse to lash out and hurt wwx more, feel good about having that control over him, being able to harm him? on the contrary, it's the technique and argument of a child. and a bully, at that

aw man this flashback where he jumped directly in jyl's arms 🥺

this is also so cruel! he's clearly having some kind of panic attack, how is he supposed to be held responsible for jc's feelings right now? actually really emblematic of their entire dynamic - jc expecting to be catered to never mind that wwx is literally losing his mind out of fear right now

in the novel he actually called for lwj, but I like the change because I thought it didn't make a lot of sense given that he had only just been freed from gusu and he and lwj were barely on decent terms

whew. continued on part two. FUCK YOU JIANG CHENG

[antisocialxconstruct]

So the poll(s) you put up have spawned a lot of interesting discussion. And I definitely agree that a bit of introspection - why do we trend towards the characters we do? or why do we trend towards the options that we do in a world where we can do anything without true consequence? - are interesting questions. Genuinely! It's a fascinating discussion. You've posited in answer to this that some people having the inability to be nasty, mean or evil is because they might still feel bound to the social contract of real life, and they're not escaping the expectations and losing themselves to the fantasy even if they don't realise it. And for some I imagine that's probably true! But - and I don't think I've seen this in a previous ask, but maybe I've missed one in which case sorry for bringing it up again lmao - couldn't it also be that the reason you choose to be evil or morally grey is the same for why some choose to be unapologetically good? The social contract tells us we have to be nice, even when we don't want to be. So yes, it does make sense that for some people, being able to do ostensibly morally grey or even clearly evil things is very freeing. Totally fair! But also, can't the same said about being able to willingly choose to be good? Can't it go both ways? Because I feel like people who choose to be recklessly good, or who choose to be unwaveringly kind; they're having the same fantasy you are and it is manifesting in a different way.

They could choose to be villains. Some do. But maybe some people - when they're living in the world where they have the money, the power, the ability to ignore consequence - maybe they choose to be forces for good because there's a satisfaction and a fantasy for them that they refuse to be like a lot of the people in our real world today. People who have all the money, all the power, the ability to buy their way out of the social contract, and use it constantly to hurt, to make worse, to oppress. We live in a world where every day, we all (and some of us more than others) suffer for the whims and the wants of people basically living in their own RPG where they're often untouchable no matter how much us little NPCs would like or even need the world to be different.

Personally me, I have characters that are both. I have characters that I play when the rage in me is too strong and I'm too angry; I cannot forgive the fact we live in the world we do and I want revenge, I want to feel in control, I want the freedom to be angry. I want to punish the people who deserve it and upheave the system. And other days, I have characters that I play when I want to make a meaningful difference, where I remember that kindness can change lives as much as rage, where I want the freedom to be nice because I wanted to be, not because I had to be. I want to forgive the people who made a mistake and protect the weak and the vulnerable, instead of being a bystander to suffering (let alone perpetuate it.)

Both are valid, imo. Whether you lean towards one, or whether you lean towards the other, or whether you embroil yourself in both. I just think they're two sides of the identical coin. And sorry if this got a bit too "real" I guess. A lot of discussion has looked at this from a point that many games can't satisfyingly generate narratives towards morally grey or even villainous choices (true) but I've been thinking about this a lot personally in much more real terms, partly due to my mum. My mum's a nurse in the UK NHS, always has been. Loves helping people. She's had her toes broken, she's been shouted at, she's been shoved around, she's had people try fight her, she's been left out to dry by her bosses or even blamed for things junior nurses did during the day shift that she had to clean up on the night shift. She caught The Sickness during the pandemic and now suffers the ramifications of that with heart problems and memory issues she's never had before in her life. And she still chose to be a nurse and help people and do unwavering good, in the fact of abuse and a crumbling system that constantly left her out to dry when things failed in order to protect her bosses. She could have changed jobs, moved around in the NHS to different wards, she did at many points have the chance to leave a broken system. Never did though. She's only just now leaving and trying to transfer to a quieter hospital more because of her ailing health than anything else.

I couldn't do that job. I couldn't be my mum. I'm too angry of a person when injustices happen. I'm too loud when people mistreat me, instead of just taking it. As much as I do enjoy helping those who need it when I can, I couldn't do that job and go back to it the way she has. Which, idk, all that is to say, maybe this question you're asking about RPGs is more real than just RPGs. Maybe it goes beyond the idea of a social contract sometimes - just, many of us aren't in a position in our real lives where we have the ability to swing one way or another, so the RPG is the only place where we get faced with the same question.

This is a very heartfelt examination of the general ideas being discussed that unfortunately I can't add much to (especially on the tail end of my lunch break lmao), but I do think you're getting at sort of the same idea @entering--hyperspace was in his ask. I have some final (for now?) thoughts on this subject but I'm not going to put them here, I just wanted to publish this because you clearly put a lot of time and thought into it and it ought to be included in the discussion 👍

[lindsaywesker]

Good morning! I hope you slept well and feel rested? Currently sitting at my desk, in my study, attired only in my blue towelling robe, enjoying my first cuppa of the day. Welcome to the working week although, for those of you in the NHS, welcome to just another day!

Another brilliant weekend, if I say so myself, just the way I designed it! Having worked her arse off at a very emotional funeral all day on Thursday, The Trouble needed the night off. So, Friday: we took it easy! Always lovely to have The Mighty Josiah buzzing around the house. It’s a shame we don’t get to see our other grandchildren. (Don’t ask!) Maybe that will change this year?

After the radio show on Saturday, we got on the M25 and we were in Reigate by 5.00. Our beautiful friends are spread far and wide. After many, many months, we finally caught up with our gorgeous friend, Dolly a.k.a. Tash Tillyard. There is only one person we know that is as sarcastic as me: Dolly! That tongue is merciless (and not in a good way!)

In fact, we talked about friendships quite a bit. I try, to the best of my ability, to spend quality time with those I care about but, as you know, it is time consuming! Yes, maintaining friendships is hard work! Meeting people means organising dates and times and places but, even if I have to drive to Reigate, it’s definitely worth it! And we have another dinner with very beautiful people this Thursday.

While walking away from the restaurant, we passed a branch of Richer Sounds! A blast from the past! A shop selling hi-fi equipment to the people of Reigate. “I feel like buying one of those and getting all my vinyl out!” said Dolly. Well, that is exactly what people are doing! On my Twitter feed, I subscribe to someone called The Record Deck. The blurb reads, “A floating record shop. Find our narrowboat full of selected second hand and new vinyl travelling on the canals of England.” Love it! I always retweet his posts. And, on my Instagram feed, I keep seeing this advert for this dude that will send you quality vinyl albums to help you start and build your first vinyl record collection. Love it! This movement is growing back again. People want the sound of that crackle, they want to feel the bass, they want the cover artwork and the sleeve notes, they want to feel that thing between their hands! They want to hear and touch and be consumed by the music! Something real! And who can blame them?

The boat people thing upsets me greatly. These poor people don’t ask for much. Just the opportunity to live a decent life and raise their families. Much attention is focused on them. Our government are Zen masters at wasting public money, so they are not being processed in Essex or Kent, nor in Wales or Scotland, they are being flown to Rwanda, which is a horrendous waste of our money. And what of the evil people that sold them a ticket to paradise? There are these heartless, godless smugglers that sweet-talk these battered and bruised ‘refugees’, and promise them that the streets of the UK are paved with gold. Understandably, these people are so desperate to escape violence, harassment, persecution and possible death, that they pay these smugglers big money to endure the most dangerous journey of their life. Some make it, some don’t. Why are governments not pursuing these smugglers? These are the real criminals.

Many thanks to everyone that listened to the show on Saturday afternoon, and many thanks to those that will listen to any part of it on Mixcloud. Gayle Dumont did a great job, didn’t she? This coming Saturday is The Letter L (Pt. 4). Executive Producer: one of my oldest friends, known him 45 years, Stephen Conway.

Have a marvellous and momentous Monday. I love you all.

[some-random-fandom-chick]

Welp guess this is gonna be my journal for a lil bit cause my therapist is leaving BetterHelp for a better job!

Yes I know BetterHelp is absolute dog shit but it was either that or wait almost a year for NHS help that won't work with ny autistic ass. Lesser of two evils in this case. I needed help and frankly didn't trust myself to wait that long.

Si being autistic, change sucks. I keep having to change my schedule at work. An office job. You wouldn't think that would be an issue but it is and I hate it. My team leader constantly forgers to tell me shit so I'm finding out I'm no longer working with the second team and returning to only working for my original team from the lovely lady who's been giving me a ride to work. Because my team leader is a moron.

Oh and that lady is leaving for another Jon very soon too so I'm back to getting the bus to work. Bus tickets currently have a price cap so I don't mind sticking to the 9-5 and paying for the early faire. But as soon as that price caps ends in March, I'm going bac k to using my disability bus pass so I can travel for free because I am not spending £20 a week just to get to work. But my bus pass isn't valid until 9.30am which means changing my hours to make sure I'm still doing 40 hours a week and accommodating the fact that using my bus pass means the earliest I can get into the is 10.45am AGAIN

DnD night also changed but that's just a small thing. StrW that broke the camel's back yknow? Not to mention a hell of a lot of anger because my emotionally neglectful ableist mother and my racist absent recovering alcoholic father sent me a card each for the festive season. So. Much anger because how dare they when I've made it perfectly clear I don't want them in my life. But also I dont express my anger in a healthy way because I never learned how so rhats currently eating me alive on the inside as well as every other emotion I still instinctively repress because I'm British, autistic, female from a chaotic house hold an a recovering people pleaser.

I am McFucking going through it my dudes and I decent go into thus much detail on discord with my friends because they've all got shit going on. But I'm also well aware that that may just be my self isolation tendencies kicking in along with ny chronic loneliness.

Feeling jnstead of intellectualising is fucking hard and I'm trying to let to fell and unmask.

It ain't going well folks!