#i love my job but this break was so good
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Hi,
JIN LING IS NOT HOW AN ABUSED CHILD BEHAVES. He sasses at JC and he KNOWS he's all bark no bite. The instances of JC hitting JL in canon are EXCEPTIONAL. If JC hit JL regularly, he would NOT have said "Not even my uncle hits me!" at WWX. That shit STICKS. You are all stupid
#jc#jiang cheng#jiang cheng positive#jin ling#jl#inspired by a jc anti that crossed my “for you” tab#also personal rant ahead:#my dad hit me TWICE and i only remember one of the times#admittedly i didn't see him regularly#but TWICE. and i only remember one of those instances#my stepdad didn't hit often but he yelled#and guess what?#the instances my dad hit me are insignificant to me#i remember being upset in the moment but barring that. zero. nada. and i love him#the yelling stuck to me like a leech#so yeah. abused kids don't sass at their abuser like that#abused kids don't use “not even my caregiver hits me!” as a gotcha#jl is not the healthiest#but considering all the baggage jgy and jc have#THEY DID A GREAT JOB#AND THEY DID BREAK THE CYCLE#jl bratting off to jc who never knew how to talk to jfm#jl being spoiled by jgy who was loathed by jgs#THEY WERE GOOD PARENTAL FIGURES#jin guangyao
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New idea: Shinsou is supposed to be babysitting Eri but he has to do something so he leaves Denki in charge for a little bit, he comes back expecting the house to be burnt down but instead he finds Eri begging Kaminari to let her re-dirty up her room so they can clean it together again
#kaminari is good with kids i just know it#got this idea while listening to the Mary Poppins classic Spoonful of Sugar#he turns it into a game and she forgets its a chore#at one point he turns it into a race#“if you can clean your side of the room faster than i can clean my side ill get you icecream!”#she excitedly starts cleaning the room and once shes super focused he stops cleaning his side#he was gonna give her ice cream anyway#when she finishes her side he goes “great job! now help me finish my side and we can get some icecream!” and they both work on that side#hes a tricky guy#he may not do great in school but hes still VERY clever#then when theyre done he goes “Okay! Now we can take an ice cream break and clean the closet after!” and she is having so much damn fun that#she begs to finish the closet FIRST#i love them#i wanna see her love him and him being a surprisingly good babysitterrr#denki kaminari#eri mha#eri my hero academia#hitoshi shinsou#mha#bnha#dadzawa#shinsou is amazed#and when Eri rants about it to mic and aizawa later they are also amazed#erasermic#shinkami
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#forever dreaming about general maximus#i would like to personally volunteer for the job of taking off his armor at night#he’s so EVERYTHING I CAN’T TAKE IT#my heart turns to melted wax for him#his concentration here 😍#his intensity 😍😍#his HANDS 😍😍😍#i want to get on my knees and kiss his hands and swear allegiance to him#and while i’m down there—#i think. that tree could be put to good use#now i am imagining how he could hold me so easily against that tree and I’M NOT OKAY#i guess this is my life now#i love him so much#my heart breaks#gladiator#maximus#maximus decimus meridius#gladiator 2000#russell crowe
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Back to what I do best (bare minimum Putting My Guys In Situations shitposts) 😌
Inspo under cut!!!
#fire emblem#feh#got so mad at my other thing i finished this one out of spite.#this shitpost is also what spurred on my recent fairy posts! really really funny and unironically cool#how shitpost redraws can just. help you get a better feel for a chara and/or their dynamics w other charas#or in this case makes you REALLY think about them like!!! yeah haha funny plumeria hatemail#but like how am i gonna draw her actually? how am i gonna portray her? i need to figure these things out as i go#which led to my redesign and oops! uh oh! she's in my brain now. she's taking on a life of her own.#i def needed the break/detour though... if i ever want to get to my fairy lore i have to. develop the fairy lore.#also kind of fucked up and evil i think i finally hit a point where i was tired of drawing alfonse. insane.#to be fair... that other project i've been working on.... has hands.#again just a much needed break/shifting of gears. it was a lot of fun!!!!!#this was a rush job though i will admit that. again. finished out of Spite.#okay okay now that i'm done complaining. about the piece itself i feel like i have to say#THE CHARACTERIZATION... IS SO PEAK SILLY HERE I LOVE IT SO MUCH. ESPPP SHARENA#sharena just being a yes man to moe. bc they're besties she HAS to be in its corner and defend its good name!!! 😤😤😤#moe just. being oppositional just for the sake of it. guy who loves to just Say Things so long as it gets a good reaction.#(CAN GO. SO POORLY FOR IT.)#alfonse.#i just loooove... putting guys in situations... it's soooooo fun#fe plumeria#sharena#fe alfonse#moe tag#summoner oc#my art#my comics
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Guide Kantapon Chompupan as MING —I FEEL YOU LINGER IN THE AIR 💮 Episode 7
#i feel you linger in the air#i feel you linger in the air the series#ifylita#guide kantapon#ifeelyoulingeredit#thai bl#thai drama#bl drama#bl series#my edits.#you can pinpoint the exact moment his heart is breaking 😭#guide is doing such a good job#i love ming so much#he really is the heart of this show#to see the happy and loyal characters break like this destroys me every time#karma pls this is unnecessary ming's soul is already perfect
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i really gotta get better about listening to my own brain and needs when i'm making things. i've been working on a video and i'm almost finished (yippee!!), but drawing this One Specific Frame was giving me trouble. i could have just brute-forced my way through it and finalized the initial sketch, since it was relatively good enough. but instead i left it and took a day off from working on the project, let myself recharge, and came back to the sketch with fresh eyes today. and what do you know, my redrawn sketch today is WAY better! now, i can finalize that frame and be genuinely proud of it, instead of just powering through on something i was less than happy with.
i hadn't done any other art stuff that day when i couldn't get my sketches to look right, so letting myself stop and have a break from the project felt sort of "unearned" i guess. but it's just. what i needed! and the break did what i needed it to do; i was able to come back later and make something i could be proud of.
anyway i guess this is me saying that, if you're like me and have this weird morality-complex about letting yourself rest, it's ok to take breaks, even if you feel like you haven't "earned" one yet :)
#rye.txt#growing up i got very accustomed to ignoring my own needs and just 'powering through' when i wanted/needed to get something done#which worked out relatively ok for me in school (banging my head against a wall until my brain absorbed information leading to exhaustion)#but now that im doing work that is ostensibly for my own enjoyment#i have a hard time divorcing myself from that mindset#i feel guilty if im not constantly working#which is. not great! so im trying to unlearn that#trying to let myself think 'ok my brain isn't brain-ing right now. so i should stop and rest/do something else'#my actual job is Very Emotionally Draining so sometimes i just. can't find the energy to work on my art#which sucks!! cause i love making art!! and then i think to myself 'maybe making art will make you feel better'#but then when i try it's like scraping the bottom of a dry well. trying to find water#when what i need to do is rest and let the water well up from the ground itself#but resting is HARD when you tie your self-worth to how much you can work#ough ok this got a little vent-y sorry guys#I don't want to let myself fall into the 'content creation' mindset. cause I don't think i make 'content' i make ART#and art isn't something you can just pump out mindlessly#good art. art that i can be PROUD of. that takes time and intent and energy. and I can't make that if im just scraping the bottom of a well#vent in tags#this whole post is just 'riley vs the concept that taking breaks is a moral failing'
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i think the main issue in arguing with zionists is that, well, they believe in zionism! if israel did deserve to exist, then the genocide and injustice in palestine could be argued for (not like it should be, but it certainly could) -- and zionists believe israel deserves to exist.
i, unfortunately, have a large amount of experience interacting (personally) with zionism and zionists. most of those i've talked to feel for the palestinians, and the violence they are facing, but they fail to realize (or they staunchly deny) the very, very active part israel and the IDF have had in that -- and how it's representative of what the nation has always done.
at the same time, they focus more on israeli hostages than palestinian ones -- and i know, of course, that these zionist jews i've interacted with are either israeli or have loved ones in israel, and so have a very personal stake in the safety of israeli hostages (which may very well be friends or family members), but i find it strange how much emphasis they put on hamas' cruelty in taking hostages while the IDF is doing the same thing (in essence; the exact details of who's doing it worse are important to note, but not relevant right now, because folks should realize that their side is being at least as cruel as the enemy's).
recently i was drawn into an argument with an israeli zionist (who, unfortunately, is very close to the action and tragedy by being israeli), and she was incredibly offended by my anti-zionism and my opposition to israel's abject cruelty to palestinian citizens, as it seemed (to her) like i was bypassing the cruelty hamas has enacted on israeli citizens -- which is very telling. i've noticed that we as jews have the tendency, whatever the situation may be, of focusing more on our pain than the pain of others, even if we are the ones hurting them. that person has every reason to be scared and hurt, and i'd be lying if i said her response wasn't at least somewhat sympathetic, but her pain in this horrible, violent conflict does not invalidate the pain on the other side. jews, throughout this recent crisis, have consistently not talked in depth about the constant losses in palestine -- am i suddenly being callous by focusing on those losses, and not our own? (YOUR PAIN AND THEIRS AREN'T MUTUALLY EXCLUSIVE, YOU DOLT! sorry...)
because it all comes down to believing in israel! my mom has always told me about how beautiful it is there, about her time living on a kibbutz... and sure, it might be nice. i can't argue with that. but why is it that our nationalism for israel is so strong, so virulent? i have not seen patriots as loyal for any other country. and when you criticize israel, israelis feel like you're criticizing their entire existence -- and many non-israeli jews do, as well. because zionism has been built so deep into the modern religion! it's made to be a necessary piece! belief in it is the default!
and, from the inside looking in, i can't be surprised that many jews take anti-zionism as being antisemitic -- because, to them, israel and zionism stand as the pinnacle of safety and support for the jewish people. it is impossible to argue with them about anything above that base layer, as the base layer itself serves as a foundation: so long as a jew thinks that israel is right, deserved, and necessary, no proof will sway them into hating israel. it's just impossible, and that's very frustrating.
for me in particular, i find it very frustrating, as this single idea has turned so many people i know to support a genocidal entity. they believe in and support israel, so they stand with it now -- even if they condemn its current actions, they neglect how those actions are just an extension of its inherent existence -- whether they think israel's doing the right thing or wrong thing right now, they don't really care at the end of the day, because israel, to them, is necessary in keeping the jewish people alive. they stand with it, thinking that jews can only stand at all if they do.
but a genocidal crutch is no crutch at all: it only breaks us more. zionist jews make me so mad, and the worst part is that i could never express that to them in a way they'll understand.
#melonposting#anti-zionism#israel#i am so madddd and frustrated and stressed#with the whole camp thing going on my parents will inevitably find out (and soon!) that i'm anti-zionist#and given their age and proximity -- they're so deeply entrenched in zionism that i can't even hope to sway them#it's so sad and scary (i don't want them to be mad at me -- even though that really isn't the important thing here)#but it's also philosophically bizarre... like these people have good principles!#it's just this one tiny stupid thing (believing in israel) that's effectively turned them into bad people!#<- it's weird saying something like that. because i don't think they're bad people. but they're zionist.#part of it is that they're my parents and i love them but also... they're so good otherwise. a single thing went wrong.#(okay well not a single thing but it's generally minute things y'know?)#i don't wanna hate my parents. and i don't want them to hate me. can they please for the love of god stop#(takes every jew i know by the shoulders and shakes them back and forth) PLEAAAASE FOR THE LOVE OF GOD STOPPPPPPP#anyway it's very hard for me to do work because i have this on my mind.#how do i break it to my parents that 1. i won't be working at camp this summer and 2. it's because i hate zionism?#i'm not cut out for situations like these ughhhhh why did i have to post that stupid anti-zionist instagram story in march#i could've just chosen not to take the job on my own accord and have enough time to come up with an excuse for my parents#whatever. too late for that. i dug my grave and now must lie in it#i guess it's character-building?? :')
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IT COULD HAVE BEEN A DREAM YOU WOULDNT REMEMBER. NOW ITS A NIGHTMARE YOULL NEVER FORGET. 3 DIFFERENT SCENES!!! EACH MORE TERRIFYING THAN THE LAST. VERY PROUD OF WILLIAM, HE HAS A PLAN IN MIND AND HES ENACTING IT SO SO SO WELL! JUST AS LONG AS WILLIAM CAN TRUST WHO HES WORKING WITH, HE CAN DO ANYTHING! I DREW THIS ENTIRELY WITH PEN AND COLORED PENCIL. I FIXED MISTAKES BY GLUING PAPER OVER THINGS. YOU CAN PROBABLY SEE THAT. DID YOU KNOW THAT SOME PENS ARE SHINY IN A REALLY ANNOYING WAY THAT CATCHES THE LIGHT TERRIBLY. CLOSE UPS UNDER THE CUT. THIS TOOK WEEKS AND A MONTH LONG BREAK.
LOOK AT MY BLOOD LOOK AT MY BLOOD. I WAS WINGING THIS AND USING ALOT OF RLY SHITTY PENS. ITS THREE DIFFERENT SCENES. IF YOU KNOW EM YOU KNOW EM WELL.
#jrwi fanart#jrwi show#jrwi prime defenders#jrwi prime defenders spoilers#jrwi pd#jrwi pd spoilers#cw blood#cw gore#GUYS I WORKED REAAALLLY HARD ON THIS AND I NEEEEED MORE PPL TO SEEEEEE RAAHHGHGHHGHG#I WAS WORKING ON THIS DURING MY BREAK AT WORK (I GET VERY LONG BREAKS NOW)#BUT THEN SUMMER VACATION HIT AND I HAVNT TOUCHED IT INA MOOONTH#BUT NOW IM BACK AT WORK N I FINISHED IT AND ITS DOOOONEEE#I HATE SOME OF IT BUTIM SO PROUD OF MORE OF IT#I LOVE THE IMPACT OF XAVIOR GETTING FUCKIN CRACKED IN THE FACE BY THE CHAINSAW#I DID A GOOD FUCKIN JOB ON THAT!!!!!#I ALSO LOVE THE STARK RED N BLUE IN THE FIRST SCENE#ITS SO EXTREME AND HAUNTING#AND THE LIL SCENE WITH CANTRIPS HEAD STRETCHING#LIIIIITERALLY MR SLIME NEEDS TO HIRE ME TO DRAW HIS HORROR SHIT#I COULD MAKE YOUR NIGHTMARES FUCKING COME TRUEEE LITTLE MAN!!!!!!!!!!!#ANYWAY PLEASE TAKE THIS AND EAT IT I WORKED SOOO HARD ON IT.......#EDIT: i changed a single word in the deiscritption thats been bugging me fore YEARS!!!!! so no youre not crazy yes somethign changed
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just finished up the currently released chapters of glitchwave and i will be honest. moore speaks to me more than zero alxbxbsmcndmal
#sev.screams#moore u r so good at ur job…..#hypercompetency is so sexy#her character is really interesting too and i relate to her kinda#i like understanding things. seeing what makes them tick and how#the logic and reasoning; the step by step#because from understanding something you can figure out how to command it#know the rules just to break them kinda energy#love that for her fr. no one can replace lomi but she might be my first true second ptn blorbo
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had an odd dream that i was reading a comic book. sketched a couple of the pages i could remember.
#i might adapt this into an actual story because i am SO SO SO mad that it isn't a thing i can go back to reading#oc#im definitely keeping the concept of save-bot i fucking love save-bot he's just doing his best. i love a robot who wants to help people#im not equipped to be writing about underground rebellions with any sense of real tact though#besides its in a superhero universe/story so you know it would just be so sucks lol#sketch#god the colors were so interesting. the teal parts were all very precisely crosshatched and the fire was this gorgeous brush pen looking#colored inks that just seemed like they were MOVING#and i mean some of that was because i was dreaming but god even in my halfhearted copy you can see some of the movement#it was a bad scene but a really really REALLY fun dream. i love when a book can *get* to me so i was really enjoying it#put it aside so i could take a break and woke up. instant fury at the universe for not having it be a real book instead#ill reblog with details if anyone's curious. i can explain this scene but i dont feel like it#the green people are in a secret basement though. hiding from the government. blue jacket guy is a speedster robot named save-bot who does#rescue stuff with every fire department so fire suppression technology is not very good because save-bot "can just save you''#however they're badly over their legal occupancy and the secret basement has One (1) exit so everyone is like really fucked here.#includinig save-bot who is going to do his job until he dies because he is an ai without any sense of self preservation and he cares#which i didn't even CATCH until i woke up and started tryin to frantically note everything down#and then i was like wait. the glitter on that last page before i realized i needed a glass of water to keep reading... what WAS that...#(it was tears suspended in midair because save-bot goes so fast and also knows he's so fucked LOL)#seriously i'm so mad someone else didn't make this.
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Getting closer, getting really close now I swear (Patreon)
#Doodles#Just Desserts#Villainsona#True Villainy AU#Just ignore how many times I've said that up to this point lol - I'm serious this time!#I always feel so bad designing TVAU outfits because Charm is always so miserable as a model haha#Could this be a contributing factor as to why it's taken so long?? No I enjoy drawing her like that lol#Made some design notes about the important elements of what I want for her True Villain look - more than just ''Her but Kaiein influence''#I'd still really like a nod to dragon scales of some kind but honestly her classic design is more that#Always going on about her spider theming how to make it dragony! It's the one thing I'm still hung up on lol#As for the rest I think it's Really getting close :) I got to actually turn her little ''shawl'' - I always knew it was Kaiein-related -#Into something that properly mimics his shape! It's all controlled by her tho it's not a part of his body - just magic-infused matter#Made to look like him so there's still that creep factor but it's more her body than his - she can control its shape :D#And I got to keep the jewels! Yesss - made it a motif! Now it's also on her hips and knees to break up her visual space yes very good#It's drips :) Y'know - like ink :) Finally figured that one out lol good job setting up my own symbolism me#And then some elegant drapey bits to match her ''shawl'' and continue to break up her space!! Yes! Good!!#I still haven't decided on a colour palette I think black and white is too obvious and too Kaiein but hmmm - she has a lot of colours#Lots of options to pick from but which is the Correct one - her hair would stay pink so maybe some of her pinks or purples#I'll play with some digital swatches later :)#I'm also so glad I could implement the hood design from one of the scrapped outfits ah <3 I love her in a hood she's so cute#I'm rather pleased with the way the spider web design breaks up her form as well - it's more subdued than the full bottom/shoes stripes but#It's also not very clear here lol the long ones that all the way down to her feet are the third from the center ignore that second one#The second lines out from the center host her wings! Very important!#Kinda reminds me of my holosona in a way actually :0 They /are/ both Evil-aligned hmmmm#All the more reason to colour palette! Differentiate the colours in my head#Really do feel like I'm approaching it now fdjsklafd getting close now!!
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FINALLY have wrestled my brain into sitting down and watching Good Omens and it is, in fact, very good!! Incredibly good!! Absolutely in love with it ♥️♥️♥️
It does, however, hurt terribly
#as a queer with hella religious trauma fucking OW 😭😭😭#Aziraphale is exactly who I used to be#and Crowly is so much like who I am now#'I only ever asked questions' yeah me too 😭#i really thought i'd kinda made peace with my religious trauma but it turns out i very much have not 🙃🙃🙃🙃#i'm like 2 eps into season 2 currently but i do know generally what happens and I DO know how it ends#and it breaks my fucking heart bc I'm going to be so upset with Aziraphale but I'm gonna understand him better than I want to#bc fuck if I didn't think I could fix heaven once#i really hope that when that line of thinking comes crashing down around him spectacularly#it doesn't do so in a way that kills any hope and makes him act apathetic as a defense mechanism to pretend it doesn't hurt#bc Crowley and I are already here and I want Aziraphale to avoid that#and it sucks and Aziraphale is too good to end up like this I want him to be ok 🥺#Crowley was too good to end up like this too but he's already here so I just hope he can heal better than I apparently haven't#idk I'm in love with this show and these middle-aged gay men but I'm also incredibly fucking triggered lmao#like ow mr gaiman good job but also kinda fuck you but also please I'm trusting you to give this a good end
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Hellooooo I'm back from my first day of WorkTM
#took an impromptu tumblr break yesterday and i might keep doing that#because it created enough mental clarity for me to have an 8-page breakdown to God in my journal#and something about my social life needs to shift (and i think tumblr is part of my social life#for good and bad! because i love you people so dearly! but if that's my go-to app#then my go-to brain location is full of Other People#and i don't think that's working for me rn)#but anyway who knows because i have now started a Job#finally last night i babysat bones boy and when they were in bed and their mom got home#she told me they were talking the other day about heaven#and he said ''kaylie said God's going to bring heaven and it's going to come and be here''#which!!! he remembered that!!! it stuck!!#AND the twins i watched on thursday woke up in the morning going ''kaylie? kaylie?''#fills me with joy
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I went by the dance team's practice today (I was invited by the coach, I'm not THAT weirdo) and when the senior captain saw me she fully burst into tears so I also cried.
I miss these kids a lot.
#personal#i miss coaching so much#the new coach randomly texted me their practice schedule for this week#so i went because i've been getting a lot of texts from the kids#i got texts from three of them about a week and a half ago within 10 minutes begging me to come back and it's breaking my heart#but the senior captain has been MY kid since she was a freshman#there are very few people i would have a two minute hug with lol but she's like my kid#i do appreciate that the new coach let us have our moment though and didn't get upset about it#i think she's trying to use me as an olive branch to the returning kids#especially the captain of the team#i've been trying to make it very clear to the kids that reach out that it's not their job to ask me to be involved#and i love that they want me there#but i know that the coach is not the most thrilled about the fact that they do want me there#if she asks me for help i will be more than happy to give it#i just have more boundaries with her than i did with the previous coach for lots of reasons#the obvious being the prev coach is my best friend#but also i'm not just going to keep offering my help if she doesn't take me up on it#so her reaching out this week was good even if it feels weird#the vibes are OFF i don't know
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idk how to even like. put this pain into words and i would normally vent about this shit on twitter, but the person its about follows me on there so like. anybody have skills for coping with the crushing realization that the person u love most in this world and have built ur life around sees ur current situation together as a temporary hurdle that's preventing them from their truest and happiest self which. is separate from u entirely? anyone know how to deal with this?
#live with my best friend in the whole entire world who. honest to god makes me the happiest person alive.#like im always waxing poetic about her in the tags on posts about platonic love#and i talk about her like she put the stars in the skies because for real it feels like she did for me#she is. the most important person in my life#and every day i feel grateful just to come home and sit with her#like honest to god i cannot imagine a future that is better than this#if i have a bad day i get to come home and my best friend in the world will make me laugh#what more could i ever ask for#but tonight we talked and she made it abundantly clear that. even if i do everything right#even if i'm the perfect roommate and the best friend i can be#in just over a year#when she's making enough money for it#she plans on moving into a place of her own#which like. makes sense for her. of course we were going to get to this point.#but i just. don't know what i'm going to do.#and it kills me that we're on different pages because for some reason i thought this was a long term thing#i thought we were going to move into a house together#i was just telling my coworker this week that we need to move into our forever home soon which was partially a joke#but also. even if i was making a million dollars a year.#i would still want to be here. with her.#or somewhere else. with her.#like it's so hard to imagine a future without her. it breaks my heart and scares the shit out of me.#and i know i can't afford it here. and i can't move in with strangers. and i'm working my dream job but i'm scared that i'm going to have t#give it all up and move back east because. i can't do this alone. and she's all i have. and all i ever wanted.#and she's leaving.#she doesn't want to be with me.#sry this is so fucking. ugh. idk. i just don't know what to do.#for real might just drop everything and move to chicago if it comes down to it ksdkfljdfs#its what sufjan would have wanted#fucked up terrible no good week
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Okay actually I love I'm not sorry for loving you
#Epic the musical#vengeance saga#I'm not sorry for loving you#I feel like epic did a pretty good job showing Calypso#Yah she's an isolated immature all powerful being#Yes she's a victim of being imprisoned her whole life#Yes she also did horrific things to odysseus in her excitement about not being alone anymore#Yes she's so omg I get to take care of him!!! Manipulative personality type#Yes I am using her and this song to project my own real life issues of breaking up with a maniputive people pleaser#Wait hold on that sentence implies awful things my ex and I weren't even remotely intimate besides kissing#Though thinking about it she'd probably be pushy in that way too gross so glad I broke up with her#Anyway she's just also keeps sending me things like sorry my love inst enough for you and other typical bullshit#So I'm enjoying the projection#Anyway love the song a lot and there have been some gorgeous anamatics
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