#i love my family and friends but i dont want to see ANYONE right now

[figgyblossom]

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[thebirdandhersong]

hey will be off tumblr for the rest of the week - things are Happening again and my head feels ready to explode.........would really appreciate prayer again. I'm constantly feeling like I'm on the brink of something (I don't KNOW what) terrible and I need to figure things out without before my body really DOES decide to shut down from the stress and the strange depressive dread that has been very difficult to shake this month. I would like to not feel like crying or throwing up at certain points in the day and also would like to not be so exhausted in the heart and mind area so that I can actually deal with these things. Especially since finals are looming ahead

[thewritingofamadwoman]

Billy’s Girl

Pairing: Billy Hargrove x Cheerleader!Reader (reader’s last name is Emmerson; no reason, just cuz)

Warning: Fluff, making out, Billy realizing he’s in love, and Jason Carver being the dick that he is.

Enjoy & let me know what you think! 💙

“Dude look at Emmerson, she looks fucking hot in that cheerleading outfit.”

“Nah man have you seen Chrissy? She looks amazing.”

“Yeah but have you seen that skirt on Emmerson? If she jumps a little higher, I’ll be able to..”

“Finish that fucking sentence Carver, and the only thing you’ll be able to do is drink your lunch through a fucking straw.”

Billy Hargrove turned around from his seat on the bleachers to glare at the boy seated directly behind him, who was objectifying his girlfriend. Now, dont get it twisted. No one loves cat calling more than Billy Hargrove. But now that he’s a taken man things have changed. He only had heart eyes for his girl. Little Ms Emmerson was one of the first people he met in this shitty, bumble fuck town when he first moved here with his fucked up family. She was beautiful, kind, and sweet, the love of his life. She was the light to Billy’s darkness. He promised her and himself that he would protect her at all costs. And he intended to keep that promise.

Jason Carver visibly gulped at Billy’s threat, knowing that the Hargrove boy wasn’t kidding. Billy’s glare deepened and it his nose flared, almost like a bull ready to charge.

“Sorry Hargrove, didn’t see you there. Just meant to say that your girl is gorgeous.” Jason said, attempting to calm the situation.

Calling her gorgeous? Strike two.

“Yeah I know she’s fucking gorgeous Carver, I’ve got eyes. Just keep your fucking eyes on your own girlfriend and shut your fucking mouth,” and with that, Billy turned back around, eyes back on his girl as she practiced with the rest of her team.

As if feeling his gaze on her, she turned and found Billy’s eyes immediately. She smiled wide and blew him a kiss before getting into the next routine formation. Billy pretended to catch the floating kiss and brought it to his heart. One of the girls around her whispered something and Billy watched as his girl smiled and blushed, the girls around her obviously teasing her about her their relationship. Her bright eyes found his again and Billy’s swore that in that moment, he’d never felt a love stronger than that. His heart tightened in his chest and he felt like he could explode with pride.

Practice ended an hour later and Billy found himself outside, leaning on his Camaro and patiently waiting on his girl. With anyone else, Billy would have driven off, angry at having looked like a fool for waiting an hour for someone. But for his girl? Billy would wait until the end of time. The gym doors opened and the sound of a gaggle of girls made its way to Billy’s ears. He looked up, arms crossed in his denim jacket as he waited to spot her, a smirk immediately forming on his lips when he did. She locked eyes with him and said goodbye to her friends, making her way towards him with a huge smile on her face.

“Hey handsome. Thank you for waiting for me,” she said, as she wrapped her arms around his neck and nuzzled her nose against his.

“Anything for you. Just don’t make it a habit. I barely wait for Maxine when she’s late,” he teased giving her a genuine smile, his deep voice rumbling in his chest.

“That’s mean, you should wait for her more often. It’s going to get chilly soon,” she gently berated him, her fingers playing with the curls at the nape of his neck. Billy suppressed the shiver he felt coming on, and pulled her closer. She giggled in his arms, pressed so tightly against him, and loving every moment of it.

“I’ll think about it. But I don’t want to think about my little shit head sister right now. I want to think about you in that little uniform of yours,” he whispered against her lips, barely touching. She played along, whispering a reply against his lips as well.

“Oh? And what about my uniform?”

“Just that it’ll look way better on my bedroom floor,” he growled and closed the space between them, pressing his lips hungrily against hers. He swallowed her gasp and slipped his tongue into her mouth as he devoured her. One of his hands slipped down to her behind, using his large palm to give her an impromptu squeeze. She squealed into the kiss and Billy laughed against her lips. When they broke apart, they were both panting.

“Woah, where did that come from?” She asked breathlessly. Billy grinned and nuzzled his nose against her again.

“What, can’t a guy show his girl just how much he’s missed her?” She smiled back at him and pulled him into a sweet embrace.

What she didn’t see, however, was Jason Carver’s car behind her as she and Billy were making out.

What’s she also didn’t see, was that while Billy was hugging her, he was sporting the biggest shit eating grin; his arm around his girl’s waist and middle finger up at Jason as he drove by, a scowl on his face.

[luvmila444]

Photo Booth - C.S

…………………………………………….. ☆ ★ ………………………………………………

Chris sturniolo x fmreader

summary: visiting the classic Photo Booth with you boyfriend chris and his brothers becomes a bit dirty while left alone in the booth together.

content warning: SMUT; dry humping; switch chris; praise kink; public (kinda?); no actual p in v

word count: 1.6k words

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“I can’t believe you guys are back here again, what is this the fourth time now?” You ask in a joking tone looking toward the three boys in-front of you. 

“Fifth,” nick corrects in his usual smart, know-it-all tone that i love so much. 

“Yeah, but hey, it’s not the same as the last time because this time we have you,” Chris grinned goofily at you as he started to walk closer to you. Chris has been your boyfriend for almost four months now and you guys couldn’t be happier. You didn’t just love being around him and all his stupid statements that make no sense, or his smell of familiar cologne that lingers in the air, or the way his large hands felt caressing you back soothingly while relaxing. No, you also love being with his family and friends and fans. Everything about you guys was perfect.

Chris slowly moved around you and snakes his hands around your waist before lowering his head down onto your shoulder. You still get butterflies from these small loving actions that he does toward you, but you just can’t help it, he just brings it out in you. Chris was a real touchy person and you loved it. It made you feel so comfortable. You loved that after a passionate night of rough crazy sex, he would then take care of you and envelope you into a tranquil sensual cuddle that would quickly send you both off into a very peaceful sleep.

After a few second, which felt like a lot longer as time had always seemed to slow down when you guys were together, you suddenly remember a familiar presence in the room…

“Woah, yeah thanks for that guys, i was going for the traumatised look while i was in that booth,”matt says with an eye roll while he steps backwards and begins to rub his eyes. The boys then begin to comically argue but i soon drown it out as i look up at chris standing above me.  His hair floppy and falling in-front of his face looking so soft that i could just run my hands through it or tug at at it gently. 

“Yeah, well I’m gonna go freshen up and check myself before taking any photos,” nick cuts everyone off with his assertive tone before beginning to turn around and in the direction of the bathroom, “anyone else coming?’ He asks not sparing a glance to turn as he heard the family footsteps of matt and the car keys that jingled from side to send on his belt loop, doing a short quick jog behind him to get to his side.

As matt and nick exited the room. Chris quickly whirled you around, so you were now facing each other. He was taller than you but that did not stop you from still seeing and admiring every detail of his perfect face, from the smiles lines that were now forever present on his face to the slower vanishing freckles that were once dotted on his nose but only really come out when the sun hits him just right. 

“I have an idea,” he grins, a grin of mischief which you can only assume with get you in trouble latter with his brothers. You tilt my head to the side and squint my eyes and allowing him to finish what he was saying and tell you what this ‘idea’ he had was. “Do you want to do a practise run of the booth without them?” He asked excitedly, it is almost difficult to decline him.

“Chris, i think you’ve had enough practise runs with the a million times you’ve come here before,” you are almost scolding but seeing his face with his ever-present smirk plastered on their you just gave in to easily, “but i dont know how it works so show me,”you then exclaim excitedly before he grabs your hand and pulls you towards the booth, pulling back the curtain and sitting inside. 

It was a lot smaller than you had originally thought, but then again it was quite old fashioned and there was never any harm in getting a little too close to your boyfriend while his brothers aren’t present. So, you decide to place yourself on his lap and close the curtain with one and as the other hand wraps itself around Chris’s neck for stability. 

You hadn’t even noticed how much Chris had enjoyed the touch until you try and get yourself more comfortable on his lap, wriggling about making Chris go crazy behind you. 

“Ma, I’m gonna go crazy if you keep doing that to me”.

You only giggle before sitting still again, however, still missing the small sensation that built up inside the pit of your stomach at the feeling of yourself grazing his crotch area while getting comfy. Chris felt it as well and couldn’t help but get.a little turned on by the action either. But when Chris got turned on, you noticed. 

He rested is head on your shoulder and brings his hands to your waist much like before, but this isn’t as comforting as it once was, this was dirtier and needy. You attempted to ignore it as you turned to the screen of the booth that was going to take your photos and were selected the options for you to use. At that moment you could have sworn that you felt Chris lift his lap upwards into you. 

You let out a gasp at the feel of the now prominent bulge that was now present under his dark cargos. Fuck just the graze of it on your thigh was making you wetter at the moment. 

Chris lifted his head slightly from the crook of your neck and turned it as he began to kiss gently kisses below your ear and onto your neck. Fuck. 

“Chris, we can’t do this right now? look where we are” you try to send Chris straight and attempted to use a stretcher voice that however ended as a quiet moan. Your noises only provoked chris more at this point. He didn’t respond to your question but instead planted more open-mouthed kisses onto you. 

You were having a mental battle with yourself at that very moment as you knew if you voiced it, chris would not be much help. You then decided to give in and slowly begun to move your hips onto his crotch. You could feel him growing harder under you from my movements. He decided to grasp your hips firmer and guide then just how he had wanted onto his clothed cock and helping you to move.

What was once slow grinding became quickly paced, you couldn’t help but let out a moan that wasn’t loud enough to be heard by matt or nick but could be heard if you were close enough to the booth. Chris removed one of his hands from your waists and placed it onto your mouth, muffling you and ensuring you don’t make any more erotic sounds. 

He pulled you even closer if that was possible and continued to move up into you at a crazy pace and you could now feel his pulsating dick beneath the fabric of his trousers making your eyes roll into the back of your head. 

“That feel good, ma? You Like humping me when anyone could walk in?” He whispers close into your ear and all you can do is lean your head back onto his shoulder as a muffled whimper had escaped you. 

He continued to rut up into you and a continuous pace and making sure that you felt everything, while sloppily placing open mouth kissed onto your shoulder. The sensation of his clothed dick still hitting your clit was now getting you so worked up that you felt the familiar tightness in you. 

You could feel the knot in your stomach growing tighter as you moved faster and harder on his lap. Again, and again and again. 

“Fuck you’re close already, ma?” he mocks you in your ear in a deep voice that almost send you over the edge. Embarrassment filling your body as you realise that Chris is aware of the power that he has over you. 

You didn’t even realise that Chris had removed the hand that was once in his mouth to play around with the buttons on the machine and before you knew it, the booth was capturing yours and Chris’s pleasure in its old fashioned black and white photographs. 

You began to circle your hip to get just the right pressure onto my clit before i released all over his lap and feeling the knot snap in your stomach as your orgasm washed over you still feeling Chris’s hands still guiding your hips, holding you still very close through your high. Which was captured perfectly on the photo booths camera.

Then you felt his dick twitch against your sensitive clit, which made you let ou a cry while he groaned into my ear. Chris had now taken complete control of your waist, using you to rub himself through his orgasm, which you happily allowed. 

You felt super sensitive due to his fast motions, but it still felt unreal, so you just let him do his thing until he slowed his movements, leaving his hands on your hips while you leaned your head to the side to relax on his shoulder. 

“Fuck, you make me feel so crazy, ma” he turns his head to you giving you a dopey grin ad his eyes are now blown out with lust. 

“I could completely say the same for you, baby” you say before patting down his hair and kissing his lips in a quick passionate kiss. You lean away from each other and hold one another’s gaze while having your foreheads pressed together. You both were very much appreciating the moment until…

“I beg that you clean that seat before any of us sit on it, please,” you hear a disgusted whine coming from nick from further away outside the curtain. 

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A/n: thank so much for reading!! I hope you enjoyed if i have made any mistakes please do not hesitate to let me know. I wrote this purely because im obsessed with the booth by Bryant era and i wanted it back… anyway

Love all my angels (especially @gamermattsgf) 💞

[targaryenluvs]

Idk if you are taking requests currently, but if you are…

Could you write a similar fic to our little dove, where Coriolanus doesn’t kill Lucy. I would’ve loved to see more of them arguing over who gets to spend time with the reader, and all three of them spending time together.

Or maybe a different ending where Lucy takes reader to pick up katniss with her. And whilst Coriolanus is in the cabin lucy convinces reader to run away with her… but Coriolanus finds both of them and takes them to the Capitol with him.

OUR LITTLE DOVE,, ALT ENDING

pairings: dark!lucy gray x fem!reader, dark!coriolanus snow x fem!reader, coriolanus snow x lucy gray

summary: you reunite with your dear songbird after the games, but it seems the capitol has followed her home, and taken an interest in the two of you. but it seems lucy gray is willing to share you with a certain peacekeeper, even if you aren’t.

a/n: here’s for all who wanted a different ending! the full fic is here ( our little dove )this is just a detour for everyone who wasn’t happy with the ending! DONT READ IF YOU HAVENT READ THE FULL FIC!!!

the trek back to town had you dying. it usually didn’t take so long but with coriolanus’s arm practically glued to you, the sun beating down on your trio and your dress sticking to you? fainting seemed very fun right now.

the entire routine was rushed, food stashed, no goodbyes to your family nor friends, just lucy and coriolanus wanting you on the train asap. they’d sprung their plan of going back to the captiol on you quite abruptly once you reached town but at this point you had no hope in your body of escaping them. so you obliged and followed like a lost puppy.

being in the capitol was worse.

you were completely and utterly alone. coriolanus was busy running the country, lucy was always working and you always seemed to be stuck on your windowsill. staring out onto the streets as the world passed you by. stuck in a prison of marble and luxury.

at first you had to endure lucy and coriolanus’s never ending arguing, always over you. when you still had an inkling of freedom. “are you kidding me? you chose what she wore yesterday lucy. will you just back the fuck off?” lucy’s jaw was dropped open, “excuse me? she was my-” coriolanus’s head tilted back as he dragged his hands over his face, “oh my god how many times are you going to use that? who the hell got her here huh? who provides for all of us? sure as hell not you. now don’t make this any harder. she’s wearing the red dress.” you sat there the whole time, just waiting for someone to notice you.

it always led back to you. but apparently kidnapping you and uprooting your life wasn’t enough since after time the duo fed off of eachother, delusions enlarging. seemingly everyone was out to get you, be with you, but you were theirs. coriolanus wasn’t president long enough yet to go around killing people without raising suspicion and alert towards him and as much as people did respect him, he couldn’t exactly go around killing everyone who looked at you and lucy even if he wished to. so he settled for the next best thing. keeping you away from them, out of reach.

and here you ended up, alone.

you had everything you’d ever dreamed of yet it all meant nothing. you were a shell of your old self and the two of them knew it. but all they cared was that you were with them. whisperings of the president having two lovers were imminent, lucy gray the victor, and the other. the unknown. and you weren’t sure if they’d ever know you. if anyone knew who you were, what you looked like let alone your name. even the staff of your prison did what was necessary, nothing more nor less. food, water, changed bedsheets and drawn baths was all the interaction you had with people that weren’t corio nor lucy.

you wanted to die, anything was better than living the same day over and over. the little flickers of hope came in the form of broken promises whispered during the dark nights, barely heard over the heaving breaths originating from yourself and the other two. promises of people, of the sun and temporary escape from here. but you’d learnt not to believe them.

“sweetheart, it’s not good for you to sit there all day. come, eat.” coriolanus asked demanded from the doorway of your library. the book at your feet long forgotten. coriolanus led you to the dining room where lucy was already eating. “there you are baby. somethin’ wrong?” lucy’s eyebrows were creasing as she took you in, empty eyes, emotionless face, slumped shoulders. you were nothing like the girl from twelve.

y/n l/n. sweetheart to almost everyone. a smile on her face as she went about her day. opening up to people and allowing others to lean on her. making sure her friends were okay when she noticed the slightest shift in feelings. always the lover. the carer.

but the girl who stood in front of her was so different and it broke her heart.

but she knew if she wanted to repair you she’d have to let you go. and as the three of you cuddled together in bed, your soft breaths lulling coriolanus and herself to sleep, she knew it was worth it, as long as you were here.

how selfish! she thought, but at the end of the day.

you’re our little dove.

[manicpixiefelix]

he wanted to be in love (but you got in the way)

{ One-Shot for head, heart, hand. }

Summary: When Oliver's lies are revealed to you and Felix, you have a much better time understanding his reasoning for it all, and Oliver convinces you to help talk Felix around into hopefully forgiving him. Felix, however, just grows more frustrated as it appears that you've very quickly moved on from the betray, and are urging him to do so too. Meanwhile, Oliver has come to realise that no matter the outcome, Felix will never really want anyone else if he has you by his side.

Need to Know: They/Them. Explicitly NB Reader. FWB!Reader/Felix. Reader is from a well off family but has pretty much been adopted by the Cattons.

Warnings: death (YOU DIE IN THIS ONE), murder via overdose, oliver's birthday party situation, oliver being incredibly manipulative, reader and felix arguing a lot, felix being a bit of a dick, angst with an unhappy ending, toxic felix/oliver endgame, heavy drinking and drug use

{ now with an epilogue }

A/N: 6267 words. ooft ouch ooft my heart. i dont like reader & fi fighting and this whole thing fucked me up bigtime. like bigtime bigtime. big angst, please heed the warnings. what do you think about this one? i like it even if it made me cryyyy

TAGLIST IN COMMENTS!! // TAGLIST ALWAYS OPEN ! (just message or comment to be added)

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"Please," Oliver's lip trembles when he grabs your sleeve. He doesn't try and chase Felix after you all get back from the disastrous trip to his parents' house, perhaps part of him knew he wouldn't get through to him in this state, so he latches on to you instead, "you- you know," and even just the helpless sense of desire in his voice is familiar to you, "I just wanted to be his friend, be your friend; be close to you both -" Oliver's fidgeting with your sleeve and your heart's breaking for him, despite the betrayal of his lies.

"Ollie-" you sighed, but he took both your hands in his, tears gathering in the beautiful blue eyes you've come to care so deeply about in the past year.

"I never meant any harm," he insists. His hands are shaking.

"I know, Ollie," you finally concede, giving his hands a gentle squeeze.

"He won't listen to me- won't believe me; please, please, I need you to believe me, I need Felix -" and though he can't seem to finish the request, it's enough. The lies he's told, what they mean for the friendship you've all forged, it makes you feel more than a little queasy, but you think you understand him. At least better than Felix would in this moment.

"I'll try," though your tone doesn't inspire confidence, "just give him space, give him time -"

"I don't have time," Oliver croaks out weakly, gave dropping to the floor, "he'll throw me out tomorrow and never look at me again," this time, when his grip on your hands tightens, it becomes almost painful, face scrunching up as if dreading the tears he was about to shed, the things he was about to say; "and even if you don't hate me the way he does, I'll be losing you too."

Your silence speaks volumes. You hate that he's right.

"You know you're the only hope I've got left." Oliver's nails dig into your skin, but your hands don't shake.

"I will try, that's all I can do."

By the time you get to your room, Felix is already cutting up lines of coke with a delicate little razor from one of the various stashes you and the other wards of the Saltburn Estate had hidden throughout the building over the years. He doesn't look up when you enter, quietly, and furiously focused on the task at hand, cross-legged in the middle of your bed.

Sitting behind him, you lean in to press your forehead between his shoulders, sighing deeply.

"Yeah," Felix mumbles, "it's a bit like that, isn't it?"

Squeezing your eyes closed, all you can see is the love and desperation in OIiver's eyes as he'd held you back, begged for your understanding, forgiveness, friendship -

"You never loved someone so much you'd do anything to keep them around?" You asked softly, and feel Felix go still, "you never lied about your family because you were worried about how people would react if they knew the truth?" The more you consider, the less anger you feel towards what Oliver had done.

"You're different," Felix's voice is carefully neutral. There's a pause, a snort, a line of white powder going up his nose, "you didn't pretend that your dad died just to get sympathy out of me," he points out, already picking at the threads of similarity that you'd laid before him in hopes of softening the betrayal he felt so strongly.

Then he's moving again, doing things you're still not sure of, forehead still pressed to the fabric of his shirt between his shoulders. Sighing, louder this time, you go to say something more, to try and argue your case further, but Felix cuts you off. It's the sharpest he's ever been with you, you think, practically orders you not to talk about this anymore.

Then, he shifts, he reaches for you behind himself, and you move with him, without prompting. Felix leans back, and you move to his side, allow yourself to settle your head on his chest, looking up at him. One hand loosely draped over you, Felix tucks his other behind his head, eyes closed; even if they were open, he wouldn't be looking at you.

"Just shut up about Ollie, just shut up -" his tone is much softer now, but his words still bite more than you're used to, "I don't want to hear anything about fucking Oliver Quick right now." There's a nausea twisting in your gut that you're unfamiliar with, heavy and upsetting, that you somehow know has everything to do with Felix's tone. Part of you feels so embarrassed for even feeling like this, for being so wrapped up in pleasing him that even the slightest hint of disapproval for the first time in years has you so viscerally uncomfortable.

The other part of you ducks your gaze, and curls up against his side, obedient.

"Sure, Fi."

A long silence, softened only by Felix's deep breathing for several long moments before you finally feel him relax.

"I love you," it sounds almost like an apology. You wonder if he knows how to do that. Still, the nausea in your gut immediately begins to clear. This time, when you close your eyes, you try to just be present in the moment for what it is, Felix's arm around you, his steady heartbeat warm beneath your ear; you can find contentment here if you tried.

Much to your chagrin, Felix's mood and feelings of betrayal also meant he was no longer interested in the full costume you'd put together for him for Oliver's birthday party. He's well aware his mother would be appalled if he just showed up in jeans and a shirt, so he reluctantly pulls on the wings you'd spray painted up on the roof a few days before.

"I put time into this, Fi," you pleaded softly, looking at the rest of the costume you'd put together hanging sadly, untouched in his wardrobe.

"Maybe I just want to save it for a happy occasion," Felix refused to even sit down at the dresser, despite where you'd neatly set out both of your accessories for the night. He doesn't even spare the various, gold accoutrements that you'd curated for his costume a second glance, simply fusses with his hair in a way that won't even last.

"You're being ridiculous about this," you finally voice, unable to stop yourself, "he's still Our Oliver, his family doesn't change that -"

Felix goes still in the mirror, expression displeased when he meets your eyes in the reflection. Nausea again. You never want him to look at you like this ever again; you half want to apologise already.

"I don't care about his family, I care about how I don't know if I can believe anything he says! He lied to you, to me, he was clearly lying to his family, considering they have no idea he'd be nothing but a fucking joke at uni if it wasn't for me!" The outburst blindsides you, it seems to even blindside Felix, who has to take a few moments to compose himself before he can look you in the eyes again. Softly, that look of betrayal is turned upon you, "how can you be okay with that?"

A million answers blow through your mind - love, compartmentalisation, hypocrisy - but none feel right. There's no way for you to justify this to Felix, at least, not one that would make him happy, make him understand.

"Our Oliver-" but as he's standing, he cuts himself off, shaking his head, "Your Oliver -" but the words get stuck in his throat. After a beat, he scrubs his face over his hands, "I just don't understand," far calmer, he lets out a deep breath and continues, "how you got over this so fast," but before you can answer, his eyes open, and there's no fire, nor fury, just hurt; "and I need you right now, but not if you're going to be like this."

Oh, you're going to be sick.

It's apologies that spew out of you, nervous, still only half ready, and regretting every word that made Felix look at you like that. He tries awkwardly to tell you that it's not that bad, that he just wishes it felt like you were on his team. Insisting that you are gets you a weak smile from your best friend, but he still leaves seeming unconvinced.

There are voices outside, on the grounds. The party has begun, the sun will be set soon.

Half of your costume hangs up beside Felix's, your elegant, green gossamer robe shining next to the matching, gold gossamer pirate shirt that you had made for Felix. Neither leave the wardrobe, and perhaps you are underdressed in what was basically a set of incredibly ornate, bejewelled, and bedazzled lingerie, and boots, but you couldn't even bring yourself to care.

Perhaps, you consider, if Felix had blown up before you'd gotten this much on, you'd be as dressed down as he was for the event.

Before you leave, however, you go to double check yourself in the mirror, and don't think to knock. Oliver catches sight of you in the mirror before you properly realise he's there. Both freeze, both deer trapped in each other's proverbial headlights. Both with red-rimmed eyes. You wonder if he knows, if he waited with baited breath and an ear pressed to the bedroom door as Felix tore him down and you immediately gave him up to keep your best friend happy.

"You look like a dream," Oliver's voice is hoarse, and he turns to properly face you, to give your costume a generous look over, "merry wanderer of the night," he offers, meeting your gaze again. The line, pulled straight from the play upon which the whole night was based, was one you'd gleefully recounted to him when you told him you would be going as Puck.

There's a slight, sad smile on his lips, a shyness to the way he leans against the counter, but none of the awkwardness he carries around others. There, in his boxers alone, you realise how vulnerable he truly is in this moment, the moment you've so callously interrupted. But Oliver doesn't call you out, nor does he shy away from your gaze.

All words have escaped you in this moment, however. Even the idea of Felix's reaction to his moment makes you feel ill, but part of your heart still breaks for Oliver, for this boy so overwhelmed with love that he would do anything for it.

"I can go," Oliver says softly, apologetically, when you seem frozen even still. It breaks you out, however, and you shake your head vigorously.

"No, its okay Ollie."

"Your," he says slowly, pointedly, "Ollie." He'd heard. Fuck; how much? "I heard all of it," he admits slowly, approaching you. This time, you are the wild animal, cornered in the bathroom. Oliver doesn't look at you like prey, he doesn't approach you like a predator; he doesn't want to spook you, "I didn't mean to get between you and Felix," his voice is soft, and he sniffles a little, but tries to smile through it, "ever; back at Oxford, over Summer, ever."

But you can't bring yourself to look at him. Gently, you loop a finger through the fine, silver chain around his throat, keeping your gaze focused on it without ever tugging it too hard.

"I'm trying," you whisper, voice watery despite your best effort, tears gathering in your eyes, "but I -"

Oliver pulls you into a hug as the damn finally bursts, and the tension, the pressure of the day that had already been pressing down upon you finally breaks. Oliver lets you cry on his shoulder, petting your hair gently.

"But you're a good dog," he murmured as he pressed a kiss to your temple, and you're too distraught to catch the echoes of resentment in his tone.

"It's all I know how to be!"

"I know, pet, I know."

Once you've calmed down, you apologise for your outburst, for having him comfort you at a time like this. There's something different about him, about his smile, the look in his eyes, as he just assures you that it's fine, that he's going to still try and enjoy his night.

After cleaning yourself up and fixing your makeup, finally you make it downstairs. There's more people on the first floor than you'd been expecting, so you have to worm your way through the crowd to search for Felix.

"My gentle puck, come hither!" Felix voice rises through the crowd; if your ears could prick up, they probably would. Just the brightness in his voice lifts you from your melancholy, and when you finally reach him you're beaming.

And he's already drunk.

Which you would like to be too. As if anticipating your requests, he puts two fruity looking drinks in your hands, and picks up another two with a wide smile. You trot along behind him as he cuts a path through the crowd towards the sofas where your friends from Oxford had found themselves. A cheer rises when they see you, all glad for your company, all desperate to hear how your Summer had been so far.

At first, you're simply sitting on the arm of the sofa, beside Felix, bright and animatedly engaging in conversation with the others. Felix finishes his first drink and his arm goes around India, tucked up against his other side, but as soon as his second drink is finished, and you've leaned across him to put your own empty cup on the coffee table between you all, he uses it as an excuse to pull you into his lap.

"Felix," India says when she means what the fuck are you playing at right now? Felix gives a surprisingly cold smile, his hand slipping from her shoulder, moving lower to grip her side rather possessively. You simply wait, ready to move at a moment's notice.

"What?" There's something biting in Felix's voice, something that sounds so uncharacteristically mean as he raises his voice enough for the group to hear, "aren't you all still deluding yourselves about me and Y/N? Don't you still think we're related - or whatever it was Farleigh told you all?" Immediately the tension in your little circle of friends spikes. Felix's hand is practically between your thighs, gripping your thigh like he owns you. In any other circumstance you'd probably enjoy this, but every single one of your friends is suddenly looking at you like they'd never seen you before.

"You hot people disgust me," India finally breaks the tension flippantly, and everyone else cackles with laughter. Felix does actually grin at her, leaning in to kiss her cheek.

"No we don't," he teases gently, and India tries to continue playing at being annoyed, by insisting that she needs something stronger than the bar could offer. As she stands, she looks back, holding out her hands to you and Felix.

"Come on, disgusting hot people; I know you're both already high and probably want some more."

"Knew there was a reason I liked you, India," you grinned, glad to have escaped that encounter without much of a mental or physical scratch, though Felix does make a point of grabbing your ass as you stand, even with India holding his other hand.

However you're another line deep in the bathroom, with India, Felix, and two of the others who'd followed along, when that good mood evaporates. Oliver stands in the door, waiting, watching; you're the first to notice him, to catch his gaze properly, but all he does is clear his throat. Felix looks to him when Oliver finally calls his name, but pointedly acts like he doesn't in the next moment.

"Can I, er, talk to you for one second?" Oliver asks faintly, but is met with no response. Instead of looking at Oliver, Felix momentarily flicks a frustrated gaze at you, like he feels your sudden discomfort and fidgeting is a personal betrayal, "you can't ignore me forever," Oliver tries, but Felix gives him a cold smile.

"I can try."

"Fi," you hissed, but all you get is another glare.

"Felix, we need to talk," Oliver was begging now, but he turned his attention to you, pleading, "can you get him to please listen to me, just for a moment -" but his words have your heart freezing in your chest. You can't even stutter Felix's name out before he's dismissing you both.

"I tried being nice about this," Felix huffed, "but if you're still insisting on playing Devil's Advocate for him, the both of you can fuck off and go bother the rest of the party." He relights his cigarette, but he doesn't even look at you once. One more time you try, reaching out, apology on your tongue, but he shrugs you off and finally gives a cutting look, "no I told you, okay? You're over it; fucking great for you. I'm not, and I don't have to be, so piss off and be over it away from me."

You stand, momentarily unsteady on your feet before you regain your balance and head to the door. Everything in your mind is a mess of emotions. The drugs and alcohol are sending you into overdrive, though neither is the reason you're feeling so sick. Still, while you know where Felix is coming from, one look at Oliver as you reach the door and you can't help but stop. Turning back, you hope Felix can read how damn hurt you are by all this;

"I'm not a monster for having a heart, Felix."

And you take some small victory from the surprise in his eyes. Before he can respond, however, you grab Oliver's hand and lead him away.

With another two fruity drinks, you and Oliver sit on the edge of the fountain outside, watching the revelry, mirroring each other's weary slump.

"How are you finding your birthday party?" You asked lamely after a few minutes. Oliver took a few moments to deliberate, while you sipped down your drink quite quickly.

"Don't know anyone," he says mildly, "and the people I do know think I'm a joke -" right, he'd heard Felix's earlier comments about the group from Oxford's feelings, "and I was aware kind of from the start of knowing youse," he casts his gaze to you now, turning to you, eyes meeting yours, "that my two best friends were bonded like those cats at the shelter, the kind you can't separate from each other or they'll cry all day and refuse to eat until you put them back together," the smile he gives you is humourless, and doesn't even reach his eyes, "but one hates me and the other has no spine," he shrugged like he hadn't just insulted you, going back to people-watching, "so I don't think it'll go down as my best birthday ever."

"I have a spine," you scowled, as if straightening your posture proved his point at all.

"Why? You don't need it," still as mild as before, Oliver takes a long, loud sip of his drink, "you've got Felix."

"I'm trying to help you, Oliver, I swear -"

"You don't know how to stand up for yourself, Y/N," this time, the look that he gives you is simply pitying, "I'm sorry I asked you to try and stand up for me." The words ache like a punch to the gut, "you're not even trying to help me for me, or for how much you supposedly love me; you love that I love Felix."

"Oliver, I love you!" You insisted through angry tears and gritted teeth, "how your mind works, how you figure things out, the books you like, the way you're constantly watching and cataloguing and remembering, it shows you care about the world around you and the people in it. I love that you're obsessive and ambitious and that you can be ruthless -" it comes out messy and unrehearsed, but you slowly see the shock and genuine awe on Oliver's face as he comes to terms with the fact that you're being genuine. For the first time all evening, you think you see guilt in his eyes. It's gone too fast, Oliver turning away.

"I love you too," he says gently, following it carefully with, "but we both know who you crawl into bed with at the end of every night." Then, under his breath, sounding so forlorn, "do not separate."

"Oliver-" but he stands, stretches, and finishes off his beer.

"He's probably already missing you, waiting to forgive you," he puts his empty beer bottle down on the edge of the fountain, and for just a moment, he reaches out and gently holds your face. Nothing is said, but there's endless, unreadable emotions in his eyes as he gazes into yours.

Then he's gone.

Making your way back to the estate itself, you forgo looking for Felix, half ashamed of the idea that Oliver was right, and instead slip beneath the velvet rope that cordoned off the upper floors of the house. Back in your bedroom, the stash of coke Felix had raided before the party was still reasonably well stocked, and the bottle of bourbon that you'd stashed in the broken piano last Christmas was thankfully untouched. There was something seriously sad, you think to yourself, about drinking and snorting alone in your room, upstairs from a party where you know your friends are all doing it too. But you don't want to see them. Don't want to see anyone.

The remainder of yours and Felix's matching outfits taunt you silently from the closet door on which they hang. They're beautiful and vapid and cold; you hate them.

"Oh, sorry, didn't realise you were -" it's Felix at the door - of course it is, who else would it be? - who startles you out of your thoughts. There's no frustration in his eyes anymore, no anger, just surprise. His gaze roams over you, from the drugs balanced on your knee to the half-full bottle cradled in your lap, "you okay?" Oliver's right, of course. Oliver's right about a lot of things.

"Yeah," you sniffle, taking another swig of the drink, "what did you need?"

"Think they're gonna sing happy birthday to Ollie soon," Felix leans against the doorframe. You share in an awkward silence for a long moment.

"That why you're here?"

"I came up to see if there was any of that coke left from before," he says, looking at the mirror on your knee and the still mostly full baggie on the bed next to you. Then, he gives a sheepish little grin, "yeah," he admits.

"We should be down there," you say without thinking. Felix's expression falls, and he kicks at the doorframe for a moment, "you do care about his family," spills from you; you're not even sure from where. Felix's expression grows darker.

"Why are you so insistent about doing this?"

"Because you love him, Felix," you remind him firmly, before putting down the bottle and rolling up the already significantly curved bill beside you, "and he loves you, and you know that," picking up the mirror, you make short work of the last line to avoid looking at Felix. Dragging your finger across the glass, you pick up the last of the residue, wiping it on your gums. Your hands remain busy as you pack the remainder of it all into the little, wooden box it was kept in, as you spoke, "you hate the parts of you he figured out, the buttons he learned how to push; Oliver," you snapped the box shut, looking up at him, "was too good to be true, and that's why you're hurt; you're scared it's like Eddie all over again, too good to be true -"

"You shut up about Eddie -" Felix warned, but you stood, box in hand, approaching him with a fierce, intoxicated determination.

"Eddie was never too good, you were just in love! Eddie wasn't even loyal!" You cried, shoving him with the box, letting out a desperate sentiment that you'd let fester in the darkest part of your heart for over a year, "he was never going to be loyal! He never loved you as much as you loved him! Never! And you were so blinded by how happy he seemed to be with this 'better life' you were offering him, you could never bloody see it -"

"You are drunk and high," Felix spits at you, clearly holding himself back from tears.

"But all I ever want is you to be happy," hanging your head, you push the box into his grip and stumble back to the bed, searching for the bottle, "why can't you trust me about this?"

"Oliver fucking lie to me, betrayed me -"

"Us!" You shouted, unscrewing the lid with vigour, "to keep you in his life. You just don't like what the lies he used to keep you around say about you." And with that you furiously started chugging more of the drink.

"I'm done with you," Felix's voice is weak, hands coming up to cover his face. Lowering the bottle, all you can do is stare at him. It's like you've been splashed with ice water.

"Fi -"

"I need space; I need you out of my room for the rest of Summer."

"Fi, please -"

"I thought you were fucking better than this!" He snapped, finally stalking away, while you were too disorientated to even go after him.

The first thing you manage to do is stumble to the bathroom and throw your guts up into the sink. Physically you feel a bit better, but the nausea you can now tell is psychological. Downstairs, though you don't know how much time has passed, the house has transformed itself into a rave. Too bright. Too hot. Too sticky. You think you catch sight of Ollie, but your gaze quickly moves to Felix, silhouetted by neon and haze, looking like an angel. Beside him, India sparkles and giggles and her hands are all over him. You want him to be happy, you don't want to interrupt but you have to -

Someone catches you before you faceplant in the middle of the dancefloor, and it turns out it is Oliver.

"You look like a bit of a mess," he says, aiming for a light, joking tone, but it almost sets you off. Seeing you about to start crying, Oliver starts to panic, and suggests the two of you get some air. Though you want to protest, you see Felix and India, hand in hand, making their way to the side doors. Oliver, champagne in one hand, has his other arm under yours, supporting you as the two of you made your way out too.

The night air is cool, a sharp contrast from inside, so sharp it almost stings.

"I should'a kept my mouth shut," you whimpered, "I didn't need a spine, why did I listen to you?" Oliver is simply quiet, listening to you ramble, getting the gist of what had happened between you and Felix as you slowly made your way to the maze.

"I don't wanna go in," you whispered at the entrance, looking down it's tall, green corridor. Oliver looked at you strangely.

"Worried you'll get lost?"

"I could never get lost, Felix made sure of that plenty of times." Carefully, you extract yourself from Oliver, sitting cross-legged by the entrance of the maze, looking out over the rest of Saltburn with your back to the hedges; Oliver watches you curiously, "I can wait for Fi here."

"I can't wait," Oliver finally says, "I don't have the time. I have to try."

You, surprisingly serene and content with your decision, more at peace than you'd been during the entire walk over, make no attempt to stop him. You just tell him you'll be here when he gets back. This time you genuinely smile, insisting he go in without you.

"I'll be here, I promise; I'll wait."

So he goes, and you listen to his footsteps retreating. After a few minutes, however, he returns.

"I think you need this more than I do," and he hands you the bottle of champagne he'd been carrying. Turns out there's only really a quarter of the bottle left, but at least you think it won't be enough to make you sick again.

As frustrated as Felix could get, he's never not forgiven you. That's all you can think about as you finish off the bottle.

You would apologise. You would make it up to him. You could make this better again.

Except...

Hang on, wait, who was that who just ran out of the maze? Someone ran out of the maze? You were pretty sure someone did anyways... maybe India, if Oliver had confronted -

Oliver is the second to escape the maze. Instead of heading directly back, he waits, unseen for Felix to leave, observing the way he'd stumble out, not even glancing around enough to see you on the ground in the shadow of the maze itself. Once he was sure he was alone, Oliver crept over to your catatonic body, mouth agape, bottle still clutched but empty in one hand. Still breathing, though it was shallow, he checked your pulse only to feel a heartrate like a humming bird. If he called out now, Felix could hear him, could get help, could save your life.

But Felix would want for nothing as long as he had you by his side.

When you start convulsing, Oliver leaps away, startled. But he watches, and remains quiet. He takes the bottle, and just for a moment presses his forehead to yours.

"I'm sorry," it almost gets caught in his throat, "I loved you, I promise I did."

And he leaves.

Oliver wakes to a knock on the door. While Felix doesn't exactly seem happy to see him, it appears he has bigger things to worry about.

"Is Y/N in here?" He cuts right to the chase; there's dark circles under his eyes.

"Have you gotten any sleep?" Oliver yawns. Felix shifts his weight from one foot to the other.

"I've checked literally every other room in this house," ignoring him, Felix explains himself, "I told them last night I wanted them to stay somewhere else, but I didn't mean it," he frowns, peering around Oliver as best he could, trying to see for himself. Oliver, who already knew this, but still played dumb, went wide-eyed.

"You didn't talk to them last night?"

"I was talking to them a lot last night -"

"They were waiting outside the maze for you; they were there when I left."

Oliver's never seen Felix run so fast.

It takes Duncan informing the rest of the family over breakfast that a gardener has spotted Felix sat by the edge of the maze for the past hour, to clear up his whereabouts.

"And have you heard from Y/N?" Elspeth adds, though Venetia buts in.

"Probably at the maze with Felix," she rolls her eyes; Oliver looks at his eggs, his runny, sickening eggs, and keeps his mouth shut. Elspeth sighs and requests someone go and collect them, tell them that lunch is ready, and promptly directs a smile at Oliver, asking how he'd enjoyed his birthday.

Oliver's halfway through an awkward thanks, assuring her it was grand, before Duncan re-enters. For the first time since Oliver first laid eyes on him, he looks genuinely shaken.

"I, uh, I do apologise," his words keep getting caught, and he can't seem to focus his gaze for too long, "I have some tragic news; Captain Y/N has passed away."

The world stops.

Felix Catton sits in the shadow of the hedge maze with you, his best friend, the love of his life, dead in his arms.

"I thought you were fucking better than this!"

His last words to you echo endlessly in his head as he cradles you to him. He'd found you slumped over at a painful angle, clearly having been sitting cross-legged on the grass, waiting, just as Oliver had said, still wearing part of the outfit you'd prepared. You looked so cold, so he'd wrapped you up in the robe he'd been wearing, maroon; you'd always said it was your favourite of his, but you'd never wear it, said it looked better on him.

"Can't believe I made you wait," it wasn't the first time he'd muttered it since finding you, "I'm so sorry, I won't do it again," he assured, and leaned in, pressing his forehead to your cold shoulder and collarbone, "and I didn't mean it about needing space from you; I couldn't even do it for one night, I got so lonely I spent the entire night searching all hundred and bloody something rooms we have, for you."

"Felix?" Venetia's voice is the first one he's heard since Oliver's, and it shakes, "Feef?" And maybe it's the way he can tell she's started crying, or the nickname he hasn't heard since he was six, but it all hits him at once. Finally he starts to cry, the shock giving way to anguish as Venetia drapes herself over him at the sight of you. Farleigh goes into shock, silent, falling to his knees before he brings his head down too, completely shutting down.

Oliver doesn't know how to react, doesn't know if he can. He stands back from the others, back from even James and Elspeth, silent. He did what he had to do. It takes him a long time to realise he's even started crying too.

Elspeth and Sir James try to keep up a sense of normalcy around the house, but barely anyone is able to keep up. Farleigh and Venetia show up and barely speak, Oliver can't bring himself to even look at anyone at the dining table, and Felix hasn't shown up for three days straight. He's been locked in his room, and none of them blame him.

None of the others know that he comes out at night. Well, he opens the door during the day since the staff have started leaving plates of food for him at his mother's request. But during the night, Felix leaves his room to crawl into Oliver's bed. Oliver never makes comments, but he always makes room, and Felix still hasn't kicked him out of the house. Small steps to victory.

"All those lies, all that shit you told us, you did it because you'd do anything to keep us around," on the third night, Felix speaks into the darkness, back to Oliver under the expensive sheets.

"To keep you around," Oliver corrected quietly, "I knew as long as I had you around, I would have them too." After a few moments, he could hear Felix start to sniffle. Carefully, testing his luck, Oliver shuffled around to face Felix. Wriggling closer, he draped an arm over Felix's chest and pulled him close, pressing himself against Felix's back. In the moment, Felix takes Oliver's hand and laces their fingers together.

"They always loved you, Felix; I never saw anything like it."

Small steps to victory.

At your funeral, Felix finally sees your parents. He wonders if looking at them is anything like looking at the idea of who you would have grown into. He doesn't think so; their expressions are so cold beneath their performance of grief.

They do, however, seek him out, ask his name, and hand him a framed photo. They say they won't be needed it anymore. It's you and Felix beneath the Eiffel Tower, arms around each other, each of you using your free hand to together form a heart between you, laughing at something just off camera. Oliver makes a disdainful remark about your parents, but slips his hand in Felix's, and gives it a reassuring squeeze.

Elspeth asks if Felix wants to keep the photo in his room, and when he remarks that he doesn't know, she suggests it gets placed with the other family photos over the fireplace in the television room. It fits in perfectly.

"I love you," Felix mumbles in the dead of night, pressed up along Oliver's back, lips in his hair, arm around him, "like proper love you." Oliver is quiet, "the kind of love I've been wanting to tell you for a while, but now I'm terrified that the reasons I love you aren't even real."

It's been a few weeks, he's intergraded back into life at home, but has taken a leave of absence from Oxford. As has Oliver. He still hasn't left Saltburn, he wonders if he ever will, if he ever has to.

"What parts?" Oliver said, voice barely more than a whisper, "I'll never lie to you again; I want you to know the truth of me." There's a rush of electricity, his fingers and toes feel all tingly; he doesn't want to sound too enthusiastic, but can't help but feel a giddy rush.

"I like how you can figure heaps of stuff out, but," Felix hesitates and hums, "I don't think I like what you figured out about me," he admits.

"I'll never bring that up again," Oliver reassures him, but Felix just hums once more, "and I figured out more stuff about you, good stuff; I figured out what made me love you too."

Felix presses a kiss to the back of his head. He doesn't smile, but that's to be expected nowadays. Felix doesn't really smile a lot anymore.

But Oliver takes it for what it is; his victory.

{ epilogue }

[harrystylesfan2686]

Lewd Thoughts

Pairing: Cassian x Reader.

Summary: Just reader simpin' over cass😁

A/N: Again unedited🫣 I changed it a little from the original story plz dont mind😅Also I'm 5'1 so I wrote this from my perspective. I hope you like this!❤️

Masterlist

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The Winter Solstice has always been an important day in Night Court. The celebration and gifts and everything about it is always perfect. It has to be and Rhys makes sure of that. This time especially since it Feyre's birthday too. He goes all out. Doesn't matter if it's just between family, he still did his best.

I wear red cotton dress with white puff sleeves and stockings, matched with pearl earrings. Mor dressed me up tonight making sure I look my best. She even painted on my face with somethings and even though I thought it'd be too much, I love how I look.

We were allowed to bring one guest if we wanted tonight, I didn't invite anyone but mor didn't let the chance go. She invited two people a female who she met at Rita's and a male named Gabriel, I think. When I reminded her that the option was only one guest she told me Gab can be my date to which I had laughed but agreed.

We sit around the living room, talking and waiting for others to come. Rhys, Feyre and Azriel were already there when Mor and I arrived, our guest informing us they'll be a little late. We are now waiting for Cassian, Elain and surprisingly Nesta. I have to admit, I was a little shocked hearing she said she was coming too but then I got to know that Feyre had threatened her to come, using the small apartment she is living in at the moment.

I and Mor were conversing our gifts to everyone when Cassian came exclaiming his arrival. I take him in while he wishes everyone. His tan skin and tousled half ponytail, those silky hair I always wanted to run my finger through and those amazing Hazel eyes that I wished were always on me. His casual clothing hiding those strong muscles that always make me drool. I never could pay attention to my morning training sessions because if he was near, all I can ever think about is how hard they'd feel against my body.

A pinch to my elbow makes me yell out and snap my eyes to the provider of my pain. I glare at mor, rubbing my sore skin I exclaim,"What?!". She raises her eyebrow at me and says,"Stop looking at him like that. You're drooling."

I gasp,"I am not! You-"

"Hello my dear friends." Cassian interrupt me. I turn to him, towering over me he smirks. I look at the end of his tugged up lips. Oh what I would do to feel those full lips wrapped around my nip-

Nope, not going there. I blink out that thought as quickly as it came and smile in return. I greet him back, hearing Mor do the same. They talk about something which I'm not paying attention to and use that time to adore him. Oh how good he looks. My eyes trail from his eyes to his sharp jaw and his stubble. I wonder how those tiny hair would feel like if we kiss. They'd tickle my chin, deffinately. I'd like that. And I'd for sure like feeling them on my sensitive skin when his head is between my le-

No!

I avert my eyes and scold myself for thinking these lewd imagines with him right in front of me. I sigh to myself and try to fosuc on what he is telling Mor. I fix my eyes to his neck knowing if I see his lips again I'll go crazy. But their voices again drone out in the background when I focus on his neck. How is it that I find even his neck so sexy? I want to suck on it. Leave a little trail of red markings with my lips. Even bite a little as I sink down on his co-

"Are you even listening to me?" I hear his voice, bringing me from my imagination. I blink up at him in embarrassment when I realized he had said something to me and I didn't listen. My face flushed with heat as I try to recall what he said.

"I-um," I stammer glancing at Mor in hopes she helps me a little but all she does is give me a knowing look. Cassian chuckles above me and I look back at him.

"What's gotten into you? Are you alright?" He gives me a soft smile. "I-yeah! Yeah of course I am! Yeah." I nod and give a, what hopefully is a, convincing smile. My few loose hair strand away in front my face, before I can raise my hand to put them back, cassian's hand tucks it behind my ear. I freeze. The callus skin of his hand feel too good against my ear. It lingers their for a second before droping back down. I stop myself from shivering from the intensity of these situation.

A yell of Mor's name catches our attention and we all look at the female and male that just walked through the door.

Right. I forgot we invited plus ones. Gabriel's eyes lock with mine and he smiles, walking towards us. I observe him. His white skin and ocean blue eyes with high checkbones and sharp jaw. I have definitely seem him before. I juat dont remember where. Mor introduces five of us and walks away with her friend leaving Gab, Cass and Me alone.

"Y/N, Its been a while." Gab smiles. I, in return, and nod to him, stilling trying to remember him and failing miserably.

Maybe I should juat ask him... No that would be rude. Wouldn't it? Oh I don't remember anyway so might as well.

I clear my throat,"I'm sorry if I offend you by saying this but I don't really remember you." I smile apologetic, watching his face fall and nod. "It's alright," He nods,"I understand, I mean it was almost a century ago. But I can try to make you remember." He tilts his face.

"I would love that." I breath out a chuckle. I notice cassian's face switching between Gab and me depending on the speaker.

"Well, it was seven decades ago, on starfall. We met in the celebration party and got along well, wether that be our personalities or the alcohol, I don't remember." We laugh. Cassian still listening. "That night I walked you to your house and well, we kissed." My eyes widen as forgotten memories flash through my eyes.

"Oh, I remember! We kissed and I invited you in and we-" I abruptly stop remembering how the rest of the night went. We didn't even make it to the bedroom. After the adrenaline ran out along the drunkness, we had been so tired that we fell asleep on the floor. "Yes, We did." He eyes fall to my lips, down to my body and come back to my eyes.

Cassian frowns. He clears his throat and I look at him. Confusion fills me when I something like anger in his eyes. Gab's words makes me look at him again. "So how have you been?"

I go to answer but the words get stuck in my throat when I fell a pair of arms hug my waist. I look down, seeing the arms of the man I adore so much. My heartbeat fastens when he pulls me back to his chest. I gasp when my back touches his hard muscles. He puts his chin on top of my head and my heart feels like it will fall out of my chest. Gab's eyes take in the massage Cassian is clearly stating.

Stay away.

I know almost all versions of Cassian. His friend version with me. The brother version with Az and Rhys. The teacher version during training sessions. This is new. I love this version of Cassian too whoever he is. It's exciting.

"I'm doing really good." I answer Gabriel's question, blushing profoundly. "And you? What are you doing nowadays?"

He answers but I hear none of it, thanks to a certain lord of bloodshed wrapped around me. I'm sure he can feel how hard my heart is beating right now and still choosing to ignore it.

All I can think about how hot the veins on his arms are. And how large his hands they are. How they fold around waist perfectly. How his two hands cover my entire stomach. How good it would feel it they tighten around me. How his big palm would feel covering my neck. I bet I'd look and feel so small with his chest passed tightly to my back, one hand choking me, and other wrapped around my waist holding tightly so that I don't move and have no choice but to take everything he gives me while thrusting-

"Are you listening to me, Y/N?" Gabriel's question intrupts me. I try focus on him again, smile and answer,"Yes. Of course."

This is gonna be a long night.

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[cowboy-robooty]

PruPan (Prussia x Japan) For the grid

I know who sent this. I can smell your prupan and self-ship wif japan from a mile away **heart eyes emoji** thank you for being the only mf who wants to hear my opinions. anyways so i thought about it and realized actually prussia and japans dynamic is the greatest thing ever. Because see i believe in cuck japan romantically FOREVER. i think japan has like best broship in the platonic dating style (if you experience that shit you know what i mean) with america and like hes emotionally fulfilled from that but also he desperately wants a boyfriend or girlfriend or oysterfriend just anyone to have that shoujo romance and tentacle freak sideways tango with. but the thing is that he literally always fails and is in one-sided crushes Forever and always and its always japan crying to his best bro america about his fail ass love life and america is like lol couldnt be me! but it's fine because he still has his best bro and like yknow... its like how family and friendship is two different things that are both need. like moral orel about the f words (family, faith, friends) but with b. bros, booty, and bazinga... like idubbbz! (as long as you have one of those you won't be lonely). but anyways see i believe japans biggest crush of all is on italy and obviously prussia has his huge ginormous crush on italy too but like i think that actually they are aware of eachothers crushes but dont care because they dont see eachother as threats at all bc theyre like "omg this dude is so cooked he aint even competition lol i feel bad for him" towards eachother.

and i think its actually really funny because see prussia is a desperate motherfucker and honestly not hard to pull at all. like if you have sex with him hes the type who goes "uhmm youre my boyfriend now right?" or if you confess to him hell take your feelings genuinely seriously and think about it and 90% of the time end up saying YES!!! I LIKE YOU TOO!!!!!! and japan is also desperate but he would literally date anybody Except prussia. like it's like how italy will fuck anybody Except Prussia. LIke japan could potentially get together with anybody under the right circumstances except prussia lol even if they were trapped in alkatraz together for 18 years he would never be prussia's prison boyfriend he just doesnt have the capacity to love him. and its really funny because prussia is literally the only mf who has the capacity to feel romantic love towards japan in a twist of horrible fate because japan pissed off cupid in his past life and will never ever fucking win at romance. The only conceivable way is if he asked out prussia but prussia is the only mf he would rather die a virgin with while stranded on an island for 3000 years with than fuck and try to repopulate the planet with yaoi babies. so yeah they compell me a lot in this sense because this is fucking hilarious and amazing and I'd like for them to act pitying to eachother about their crushes on italy bc they're like "mhm mhm yeah you have a chance (lying)" even though they both strapped in the same jigsaw trap lawl. but I dont think i ship them because of what i said above. thank you for sending this though this was some really good shit to think about and i think ill draw them interacting more because this is an incredible discovery.... best discovery since alfred wagner and the tectonic plates !

[fruityhoon]

hold you tight

yandere!jay x gn!reader

warnings: kissing and yandere behaviour

————

you were on his bed laying down facing away from him, thinking of a way on how you could leave. leave far away from his psychotic ass.

“what’s the matter baby? is something bothering you?” the voice next to you spoke out amidst the silence, you just wanted to punch him in the face everytime he opened his mouth but you knew you couldn’t.. you were afraid.

“n-nothing im just more comfortable like this” you stuttered, voice low

“dont lie to me y/n, you know you can tell me anything” his voice was so sweet, but you knew it was all an act

“i know..” you said as he lightly brushed his fingers through your hair

“turn around darling, i wanna see your face” he moved his fingers away, you turned around to face the man in front of you with a cold face

he caressed your cheek with his thumb, admiring your face that were on the verge of tears

you couldn’t hold it anymore, you looked away from him, a tear running down your cheek as you tried moving his hand away from you but as to no avail, he grabbed ur hand roughly and stared right in your eyes

“what’s wrong baby?” his voice sounded more worried, the grip on your hand says otherwise as he wiped your tears away with his other hand, you tried to form a sentence but you end up mumbling random words hoping he’d leave you alone

“hm?” he held ur jaw up, making you face him

you managed to move away from him, not wanting to be any closer with the man on the bed

“let me leave jay..please i wont tell anyone i swea-“

and with that he grabbed you, pulling you in his embrace as he hugged you tightly as you broke down even more with your head buried in his chest, trying to pull yourself away from him as he caressed your hair and kissed the crown of your head ignoring your cries

“leave where honey? you don’t listen do you? you wanna see what i’ll do to your family.. want them to turn out like the others? or maybe your little friend? taehyun would be fun to play with dont you think” his demeanour changed when he brought your boyfriend up, smiling. threatening you.

you lifted your head as you shook your head with pleading eyes. he had already murdered your friends that were trying to help you during your first attempt of escaping and no no no you didn’t want him hurting more people especially when that person was your boyfriend..

jay looked at your crying face, the way your eyes were shining due to the tears, you looked beautiful to him.

he leaned to you as both his hands were on your cheek, his strong grip telling you not to move or else, leaving a long and gentle kiss on your lips that were already puffy at this point from all the crying

he slowly pulled away, wiping the tears off of your face, moving strands of hair on your face that were covered in tears to look at you ever so softly

“this is your home now baby, i’ll always be here for you, you’re safe here with me.” he held you tightly just like before, not wanting you to leave his embrace

“i love you y/n”

all you could do was just lay there with him, eyes puffy, not being able to do anything without making him mad, you couldn’t do anything, there was no escape.

you were stuck with him.

“i love you too jay..”

_______________________________________________

authers note: my first post !! let me know if you guys like these type of posts by interacting >< i’ll start writing more yan!enha cz i have more ideas up my ass but im just so lazy to write (but if you do have suggestions feel free to suggest i might write them)

[equallyshaw]

secret love song | luke hughes

warnings: swearing, no happy ending my loves🙈

word count: 2.9k +

also her brother is a professional athlete, no specifics!

─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──

We keep behind closed doors Every time I see you I die a little more Stolen moments that we steal as the curtain falls It'll never be enough

◦

sadie murphy and luke hughes met right after the new jersey devils lost in the second round of the playoffs. they absolutely adored one another from the gecko. they were able to be together, without anyone knowing. secret glanes and secret touches in public, in and around their friend groups. nobody batted an eye. sadie and luke wanted to keep it quiet just because of who her brother was and who luke was, a budding athlete and the two did not want that extra pressure or people following their every move. yet, they wanted nothing more than to be public.

every time they are around one another in public, the universe makes it quite difficult for them to not stare at one another, or grab each others hands behind everybody else. it was killing sadie beyond belief as soon as month two of the season rolled around. luke couldn't or wouldn't take the time to truly understand why she wanted things to be a secret.

"luke you dont get it! my brother will kill me. he specifically told me no athletes and here we are! i know i cant possibly have you promise or make you keep us quiet. because believe me, i want to tell them i wanna tell the world and be seen with you and wear your jersey at games, but i-i i just cant." she said one night, as they were sharing a quiet date in her apartment in manhattan. he shook his head from the dinner table as she was busying herself with dinner. "do you not want to be seen with me sadie? is that the real reason you don't want to go public or tell your fucking family?" he asked now irritated, and she dropped the salad mixers. she looked up from him as he walked over towards the brunette. she shook her head, "the fact that you're asking that is wild!" she said now turning towards him fully, "are you nuts? its killing me not to be able to, but i don't want the world tearing us apart because believe me they will!" she screamed now. he threw his hands up in the air, in disbelief. "well it seems like were gonna keep going in circles so im leaving." he said beginning to walk towards the apartment door. she growled, "stop!" she said hoping he'd stop. "don't leave, we have to finish this conversation!" she said now walking towards him. "why would we? you've made everything perfectly clear for me, sadie." he said opening the door and stopping briefly to look back at the girl. "stop..let me at least drive you home." she said sighing. luke nodded, and waited at the door for her to grab her purse and keys. he let her walk out, and then he shut the door behind them.

◦

As you drive me to my house I can't stop these silent tears from rolling down You and I will have to hide On the outside Where I can't be yours and you can't be mine

◦

sadie and luke drove towards luke's and jack's apartment right over the border in hoboken. billie eillish was playing softly in the background as the two sat in silent. luke was doing everything he could to not cry at that very moment. he wanted to keep his emotions in check, but every minute they drove closer and closer and every moment they drove in silence, was killing him. just like her, it'd been killing him inside too. he wanted to how her off to the world, and celebrate all the things that make her her and what she'd been doing since graduating, in public. he was head over heels in love with this girl. yet, he feared that they'd never be each others for the long haul. she pulled up to the curb, and parked her car. the two contniued to sit in silence, not wanting to say anything that would conclude their relationship.

"i love you." luke blurted, and sadie could feel her heart swell. she loved him too, the past 6 months almost cemented that. she turned towards luke with tears in her eyes, and smiled. luke felt the breath he'd been holding in, exit his body. "i love you too, lukey." she said smiling and then pulled him in boldly to kiss him. luke's hand found the base of her neck, her brunette hair felt like silk in his hand. the other found her hand that connected to his instantly. they pulled apart resting their foreheads against one another. "soon, lukey. soon." she hummed before pecking him quickly. he looked at her with a slight slant to his head, "really?" he whispered and she nodded. "yes." she whispered back, and he now pecked her. "ill call you when i get back home." she said unclasping their hands and he nodded, getting out.

◦

But I know this, we got a love that is hopeless

◦

despite the two confessing, sadie had a deep fear that swelled in her stomach. if she told her brother and he told his brothers, things would change. things would change so much, they'd have no choice but to break up. god, how she hated how that boy made her feel that was certain.

◦

Why can't I hold you in the street? Why can't I kiss you on the dance floor? I wish that it could be like that Why can't it be like that?

◦

sadie did not know what to do, as soon as she showed up to the bar. she walked in with a few girlfriends and they made their way to the group of hockey players. and as soon as she turned to go find luke- she saw him. he was talking to a girl at the bar, and stood awfully close to her. they were laughing, smiling, and talking very close to one another. sadie felt a distaste in her mouth, and quickly looked away. "lukey finally got a date?" maya her close friend questioned his brother, and jack nodded. "finally, I've been trying to get them together for a while now but he's been so fuckin stubborn!" jack explained, pushing a shot into each girls hands. sadie threw it back gracefully, before going off to the bar to get another and a drink to begin the night. luke did not notcie the girl slide over, as he was engrossed in a conversation with the blonde. she was nice, he'd give her that. yet, she was not sadie. nobody would ever be sadie.

later on in the evening, sadie was about 4 drinks deep by the time the musical performance was beginning. luke and the girl were still at the bar conversing and sadie had seen him lean in a few times, but she'd look away before she could see anything else. jack wrapped an arm around sadie, cheering with the rest of the crowd as the guest came out. "hows sadie burrows doing tonight?" he questioned, looking down at her. she shrugged sipping more of her drink. "you seem down. anything happen today?" he questioned, leaning a bit closer so she did not have to speak very loudly. she blew some air, frustratedly. as luke and the blonde were coming to join the group, he saw how close jack was to sadie. he knew sadie obviously didnt have any feelings for his brother and never had, but couldn't get rid of the feeling she did in that moment. she laughed at whatever jack had said, throwing her head back and saw a glint of spark in jacks eyes.

he turned his attention back towards the blonde, trying to ignore the giggles that sadie put on display. the group took in the musical guest, for the next two hours. sadie made many glances towards luke and her heart broke, when she saw the two of them swaying. luke had his arms wrapped around the girl from behind and they swayed to the music. sadie felt tears pool her eyes, and the feeling that she needed to get out of there. she set her drink back down in front of her, and quickly moved out of jack's arm that was still around her shoulder. she made her way outside of the bar, and breathed in the cold november air that hit her like a ton of bricks.

she sat down against the brick wall and cried in her knees, shakingly pulling out her phone to call her brother. she sniffled, shutting it. she would wait to call him, and she sara nora her other friend walk out. "want me to drive you home?" and sadie nodded. she pulled her friend up and the two walked back to her car, since she was the DD. "wanna tell me about it?" nora treaded lightly, as she pulled onto the street. "is it about luke?" nora asked and sadie quickly whipped her head towards her friend. nora giggled, "yeah i had a feeling for awhile now. you two are not always so suttle." she hummed and sadie sighed. "im sorry love, what luke was doing was a dick move." she said grabbing her friends hand and pulling it tightly. sadies phone buzzed with a ccouple texts from luke. she put her phone on silent as they were now just pulling up to her building. "let me know if you need anything, sades." and sadie nodded. "thanks." she said before stepping out. she made her way upstairs quickly, and as soon as she entered her apartment she was already clicking mike's contact. and as soon as he picked up, she broke down.

"sadie?" he questioned now fully alert. his heart broke watching her cry, and he waited respectfully for her to talk. and once she did, he was angry. he was angry, disheartened, frustrated and all he wanted to do was hug his little sister. the two spoke for another hour and she had made he way to her couch at that point. she was sitting up as soon as she heard a knock on her door. her eyebrows crinkled, and mike watched as she looked over towards the door. "uh, one sec. somebody's here." she said setting the phone down and making her way towards the door.

◦

It's obvious you're meant for me Every piece of you it just fits perfectly Every second, every thought I'm in so deep But I'll never show it on my face

But we know this We got a love that is hopeless

◦

she opened the door to luke, and quickly shut it before his reflexes could react. "ill call you back mike....luke's here." she said grabbing her phone. "no, don't talk to him." and she paused glaring at him, "let me." he said and she shook her head. "i have too...i have to end things mikey. " she said softly and mike relaxed just a bit nodding. "okay, call me once he leaves." and then she hung up. she opened the door to luke waiting, and she let him step in. "let me explain." he said turning around quickly. sadie shook her head, "you atleast owe me that sadie." and she sighed walking into the living room with him following. "jack was the one that forced us together, i had no intention of talking to her but he -" and she cut him off. "forced? are you 5 luke? you can make your own decisions." she huffed, crossing her arms. "i didnt want to talk to her i swear! i did it so it wouldnt strange. besides, you cant get upset with me when you are the one that doesnt want to be seen in public." he spat and she bit her lip. "its been a month since we said i love you's, and ive barely seen you and - and, you havent made any move to make us go public. and i dont think i can do it anymoe, sadie! i dont think i can and i dont think i want to wait anymore." he said out loud, finally saying what he'd been wanting to say for some time now. she met his eye and she saw his frustration and a look of emptyness.

"wait what?" she questioned, wanting him to repeat what she thinks he said. "i know that we are meant for one another. i know with every fiber and being in my body that we are meant for one another. when i think of my future, i see you in all of it. it kills me to not be with you every second of the day, it kills me to not be seen with you, dancing with you in public, tonight- tonight it could have been you and i sadie. don't you realize that? do you not realize how deep i am? how fucking in love i am with you?" he said desperately. "or did you not realize that when you were with my brother tonight?" he asked, a low fucking blow. "fuck you luke! you know ive never seen him that way. he was being a friend, more than you were tonight!" she screamed and he shook his head, "what did he say to make you laugh? what did he say to make you laugh that deeply?" he questioned and she rolled her eyes. "are you jealous?" she questioned and he laughed, "i could ask the same thing sadie." he said chuckling just a bit. "he made a dumb joke...about penguins becuase he could see how down i was. nothing else, nothing more." she said and he didn't buy it. "why was he all over you tonight?" and she now chuckled. "you read too much into it luke, you sound dumb right now." she put her hands in her face, and thought about what he said.

" im just playing with time right? you were never going to make things official with me, right? was it-" he paused hating himself for what he was going to say, "was it all a game to you?" he asked in disbelief. "what?" she said barely above a whisper. "how could you ask me that? after everything?" she questioned, pulling her hands from her face. "because you keep going round and round in circles, stringing me along! giving me false hope every fucking time we see one another. do you know how exhausting that gets huh? do you not understand how much it hurts me every time, i leave and nothing has changed?!" he said with tears streaming down his face. oh, how that killed the girl. "we have to recognize at some point before its too late...that this...whatever this thing between us isn't going to work out. that im not gonna get the future i envision with you, sadie." he said and she felt herself crying now.

"i want to luke...i really want to." she said softly, "you know my anxiety, my habit of isolation and panic. you knew this going into this!" she threw back and he rolled his eyes. "dont use that an excuse, sadie. youre better than that!" he said turning around, his hands resting on his waist. "lets just call it what it is. you dont love me..enough to be official. and im not gonna stick around when i already know the ending." he said turning back around to face her. she shook her head, letting a sob out. she had nothing left to say, she knew that whatever she said wouldn't be enough. nothing could buy her more time, and they both knew it. luke walked towards the girl, pulling her in. he kissed her head, rubbing her back softly. "im sorry for all of this luke, i really am." she said crying now. he nodded kissing her head once more. "i know sadie i know." he said pulling back just a bit so he could look at her. he wiped away her tears, and pulled her in for one last kiss.

they parted, and he pulled out his car keys which had two extra keys on it. his apartment key and her's, and he slipped the latter off of it. she took it from him and just watched as he walked out of her life. as soon as luke exited the apartment complex, and hopped back in jacks car, where jack had been waiting patiently. jack took one look at his young brother and saw the pained look he was sporting, "its over." was all luke said before breaking down. jack placed his hand on his brother's back for comfort. as soon as nora and sadie left the bar, so did jack and luke. luke told jack everything, and jack hated himself for pushing luke and the girl together that evening. though luke reminded him that he didn't know, so he shouldn't feel bad.

◦

the two didn't see one another for quite some time after that. it wasn't until new years even in the city when their extended friend group got together for a party. the both of them walking in with somebody on their arm. luke with the girl from that evening, and sadie with a friend from back home, that had only recently turned into something more. as soon as sadie entered the penthouse, luke quickly took notice of the girl and sent a smile towards her. she smiled back, before her boyfriend whisked her away towards the drinks.

them both knowing deep down, that they'd run back to one another if the opportunity arose.

─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──

hope you guys enjoyed! pls like and reblog if you did (:

[misfithive]

What Simon can teach us about boundaries!

Been seeing a lot of Simon hate again lately (mostly on other apps but i’m sure its here too) and it's getting pretty frustrating and honestly a little bit troubling that people think so little of Simon and his needs.

Simon hate feels like some weird connection to the patriarchy/heteronormativity where some people have just decided that it is okay for one person's needs to be ignored in a relationship in order to satisfy the other. Lisa seemed to intentionally try and create a dynamic in their relationship where they see each other as equals. They may struggle to see each others perspectives at times but that is true for literally ANY RELATIONSHIP where two people come together from different walks of life. Both their needs matter and their journey in the relationship is to figure out how to honor the other persons needs while honoring themselves or see if that is even possible.

Sooo I wanted to share some lessons about boundaries that people could learn through Simon instead of talking sh!t about him !!!

1. Boundaries are about what we want and need in a relationship. Sometimes people want different things and thats ok!

People love to say that Simon forced Wilhelm to come out. I even saw someone say that Simon was asking Wilhelm to "give up his family and the throne". No where does Simon ask him to do any of those things. Notice how Simon says "I don't want to be anyones secret"? This is not just about Wille. This is a boundary that he has for himself and the types of relationships that he wants to have. Everyone is allowed to have expectations or want a certain type of relationship. Saying you don’t want to be in a secret relationship is quite a reasonable request. It is also quite reasonable to say that you don't want to be in a public relationship. Sometimes in relationships, what two people need is incompatible at the time which is why it made sense for them to end things. That is the point- for both people to say what they need to feel comfortable and sometimes other people cannot meet your needs- you have to decide if that is a dealbreaker and for Simon at the time it was.

2. Boundaries ≠ manipulation

He tells Wilhelm he take as much time as he needs but you have to do it alone. That is a boundary it is NOT manipulation. He does not try to control Wilhelm or tell Wilhelm what to do. Saying a relationship wont work for you unless certain needs are met or that you dont want to do tons of emotional labor for another person is not manipulation. He is saying I am not okay with being a secret, I am not okay with having my trust broken, i’m not okay with being in a relationship where you say one thing and do another (Wilhelm made a promise he could not keep and even he has owned up to that to Nils). Simon is not saying YOU HAVE TO COME OUT RIGHT NOW OR ELSE. He is not playing mind games or trying to get Wilhelm to change his mind in order to be with him. He is willing to walk away even tho his heart is breaking because he knows it is not possible at that point for Wille and him to get on the same page.

Boundaries have become part of social media language lately thanks to instagram therapists and the like but a lot of people have misconstrued the meaning. Some people call something a boundary when they are actually being controlling. However the purpose of a boundary is about what you yourself are comfortable with, not what other people can/cannot do. Ex: “i am okay with holding hands in public but otherwise I don’t feel comfortable with PDA” (healthy boundary). Vs “you can’t have guy friends because I get jealous” (unhealthy boundary). Boundaries are healthy and necessary for a relationship to be healthy- they are not the same as manipulation or trying to control someone else.

3. What is okay for you does not have to be okay for someone else. Everyone’s boundaries are different because we are all different people with different traumas, needs, experiences, relationships, and limits. I have seen people compare the Wilmon to Narlie where Charlie is okay with Nick wanting to keep things “secret”. Besides the fact that this is a completely different relationship and context, the fun thing about boundaries is that what is okay for you does not have to be okay for someone else! Just because you would have been willing to be Wilhelm’s secret if he asked does not mean that Simon has to. Just because Charlie was willing to to do that for Nick does not mean that Simon has to. Not to mention !!! Nick also acknowledged that is not fair to Charlie and outside of not telling people they had a very loving smooth sailing relationship - people expect Simon to be like Charlie without acknowledging that Wilhelm is not giving the level of trust and security that Nick is. If you want to go there, I'm sure if Wille was acting like Nick being consistent not saying "i'm not like that", "delete my number" etc (regardless of the reason) then maybe Simon would have been more okay with it. This is not Wille hate bc i get it, but sometimes in empathizing with Wille people forget that Simon is a whole human with wants and needs. Simon needs to protect himself and his heart. We all do. Relationships should not require you to subject yourself to pain for someone else. It is healthy to have boundaries and know your needs and what you deserve. And at that point in time Wille could not give him that. Most people watching were quite proud of Simon for that so idk how the narrative got turned to him being selfish.

4. Boundaries can change

It is normal to reassess your boundaries, that does not make them any less valid. Clearly for Simon, once Wilhelm proved his trust more and and Simon reevaluated what he wanted, he decided that he was willing to be a secret if that meant having each other. If he never decided that, it still would have been totally valid. Also noting, there was no compromise/meet in the middle there in Simon deciding that he was willing to be a secret for Wille. It's just funny that Simon is getting the flack for not wanting to "compromise" or meet in the middle when in the end, Simon was willing to do exactly what Wille wanted and he gets ZERO credit from some people for that. Luckily Wilhelm sees what a sacrifice this is for Simon and does not leave Simon to sacrifice alone.

4. Boundaries protect the relationship, build trust and help relationships grow

If Simon had never stood his ground both in s1e6 and throughout s2 Wille would have likely continued the way he was going bc it was comfortable for him and he was understandably scared. They probably would have gotten in even more arguments and honestly i do not think Wille would have been forced to mature and consider Simons feelings in the way he eventually did. I know people resist Edvin calling Wille selfish but Simon has to constantly keep telling Wille “what about me? What about my family? Do you see how hard this is for me?” For some reason viewers are interpreting that as selfish ?? In a relationship you really should not have to be constantly reminding someone to consider you and your feelings.

Simon setting boundaries and saying what he wanted only made their relationship stronger even tho they had to take some time apart. Protecting yourself and wanting a healthy balanced relationship where your needs are considered as much as the other person’s is not selfish. And anyone who tells you that it is does not have your best intentions at heart. Simon is not saying his needs are MORE important than Wille’s he is saying that his needs matter TOO and are EQUALLY IMPORTANT to Wille’s. Which was the journey he needed to go on (as stated by his sister) and the journey that Wille needed to go on as well in order to create a healthy dynamic together.

Setting boundaries is hard but worth it in the end!!!

So yeah! I hope you all set some boundaries today or use this info to argue with simon antis 💖

—————-

Disclaimer// I am not a therapist i just do workshops with teens about healthy relationships and it is a passion of mine.

[howlonomy]

You & my partner have gotten me on the Martlet x The Roba pairing train so I gotta ask; was there an 'O h.' moment for either of them when they had the realization?

YEESSS ONE OF US!! ONE OF US!!!!

i think they would both have an “o h” moment. i think martlet would have it during the period between clover dying and the barrier being broken. the crew spends a lot of time together, broken with grief, and struggling to support themselves. so martlet travels from snowdin to the dunes a LOT. suddenly her big ass house is too big, shes so separated from her friends so far away. she has dalv, but he wasnt there for clovers death and didnt see what she did. ceroba knows the feeling well. so i think martlet spends a lot of time with ceroba at her house; doesnt move in, because she cant bear to let go of her house, but spends a lot of time there.

you would expect martlet to have a big exciting moment of realization but i think she would just. realize it on a random day. and THEN she would freak out and immediately avoid ceroba and talk to starlo. who tries his best to stop martlet from panicking and mitigate damages but they both realize how stricken and traumatized ceroba still is from chujin and kanako and clover so. they cant really do anything about it. so unfortunately now starlo is subjected to martlets ramblings and lovestricken conversations like shes a teenager wirh a first crush

CEROBA HOWEVER. DOES get a big “aw fuck” moment. when they get to the surface she asks martlet to move in with her; it just makes sense, now that they’ve spent so much time together. might as well. so martlet moves in and just fits right in, taking care of kanako and ceroba when she needs it, being handy, and just generally being a good roommate! and then ceroba watches martlet teach kanako how to woodwork, both of them struggling to read martlets blueprints and stumbling around trying to find a single nail and she cant help but laugh and realize how happy she is. how she never thought she would see her family happy like this again after chujin. and then she realizes that.. she feels the same way about martlet as she did chujin. she sees a partner (platonic at the time, anyways) helping raise a child and live in her house and show affection to anyone and everyone, even her, and she realizes she loves martlet

and then she ALSO dumps all this info to starlo who sits there like “my god my dumbass bisexual friends dont want to talk to each other”

[lover-of-mine]

I so agree with everything you said. The difference of reactions when you didn't ship their previous relationship vs when you don't ship B/T is very telling (same with the fact that when some people talked about a cheating storyline, the reactions were always "it would be bad for Buck to do this to Tommy" but apparently it would have been okay if Eddie did this to a woman?? okay lmao)

What I don't understand is how people say that it's Buck's most developed LI/relationship. Like? We don't know that much about him. People have created (themselves and via the actor's cameos) lots of headcanons but that doesn't mean that they are canon.

To me, he really still feels like a love interest device for now. Like with the scene of the kiss in the last episode, they could have include some mentions of another date, whether past or a future one, but they didn't. The kiss was just there to be able to have Buck come out to the rest of the family, but it didn't bring anything more about B/T (we don't know if they saw each other since the coffee date/if it was their second kiss or if there was already more).

Literally. Like, look, I will say one thing, if buddie had hooked up at that bachelor party only one person would be cheating and that's Eddie. Buck and Tommy did not have a we're exclusive talk. They actually had a we can figure things out as we go talk. Personally, I don't think that counts as an we are together conversation, but that's my opinion. But either way no one seemed to care about the Eddie side of it. Eddie who is literally in a relationship serious enough he asked her to move in with him the episode before. But sure, that doesn't count because they hate Edy and forget Marisol exists (I do too, but I spent the whole time saying we shouldn't make the bisexual dude help his best friend cheat because I did not forget Eddie would be cheating and that would be bad no matter what). And to say T is the most developed love interest is a straight up lie. Taylor had a whole season as Buck's friend before they got together. She had a personality, flaws, qualities, she even got her very own tragic background episode. Say what you want about anything, and yes they sucked as a couple, but bucktaylor was developed. On screen. To a point where if the show actually wanted to, which they clearly didn't because they used the s4 Taylor development to stir her away from Buck instead of closer, they could've made bucktaylor work, they just had to make her as intense about Buck as she is with the job, and they could've been a very interesting golden retriever boyfriend/black cat girlfriend dynamic (good god I can't believe this fandom is making me defend fucking bucktaylor). Buck and T had one scene alone before they were kissing. Tommy has no established personality. Pretty much everything about him besides the begins episodes part of him (that dont paint him in the best light) we learned second hand. Through interviews. It's not even things that are being said to the audience in the show. I'm pretty sure the only things we learned from the show are the way he's a pilot, he was in the army, he likes wrestling, cars, and basketball. I could be wrong, fandom annoyed me so much I blackout every time I see him at this point. But he's not developed? He's just a guy? Don't get me wrong, he could be developed. There is space for it. But right now, he is there to serve as a device for Buck to find his bisexuality and that's it. They kissed twice. They went on half a date T left in the middle of. They went out for coffee and decided to figure things out as they went. He was at the hospital after the wedding to work as a way for Buck to come out without making him go around telling everyone. He exists around Buck. And that's it. Personally I don't see the endgame material people keep seeing. I don't see the development either. And anyone can headcanon anything, really go off, have fun with your ship, but people seriously need to stop acting like what Lou is saying in cameos counts as canon. Being in the fandom right now is exhausting because people just decided things about T and BT that are not backed by canon and they get real aggressive if you don't agree. I seriously am dying to see what's gonna happen if canon goes against the idealized version of him fanon created. I don't know if it's gonna happen but by god will I be entertained by it if it does.

[felixsslutwife]

be mine - fluffy vday felix x reader

GUYS FEM SUCCUBUS READER X VAMPLIX IS COMING I SWEAR.

but in celebration of vday, heres a small felix vday fic to feed yall while i work on the vamplix fic xoxo

summary: ur lonely on vday n ur abt to ask ur friends to hang out when felix calls you (fluff, felix x reader, proofread)

warnings: none this is super fluffy so idt theres anything i should warn yall abt but lmk if there is

!!!!!! reminder that if u have any requests for me to write absolutely ANYTHING related to kpop, anime or videogames, feel free to leave it in the requests box, ill try to write as many requests as i possibly can dont u worry !! !!!!!

< 3 < 3 < 3 < 3 < 3 < 3 < 3 < 3 < 3 < 3 < 3 < 3 < 3 < 3 < 3 < 3 < 3 < 3 < 3

you were scrolling through social media, seeing everyone celebrating valentines day, whether they were with their romantic partners, family, or just friends. you felt a bit lonely :(

you were about to shoot some of your friends a text saying "hey wanna hang out for vday ??" when you got a call.

it was your best friend, Felix. you answered immediately.

"Hey, Y/N...happy valentines day...um...so...um..." Felix began, stammering nervously.

you greeted him happy valentines day back, and asked what he wanted to talk to you about, wondering why the usually talkative Felix was so nervous.

you heard a sharp inhale from the other side of the phone call.

"Ihaveacrushonyouandivebeensofuckingscaredtotellyouaboutitbutitsvalentinesdayandireallywantyoutobemine....please..."

"Oh, and I love you by the way," he added, seeming to have forgotten to say that. "So much."

"Awww~" you cooed. you thought it was honestly so adorable how your best friend, the sweet, adorable angel Felix had a crush on you.

"I love you too, Bboki~" you answered. So many people had crushes on Felix, so you felt really honored that he chose you out of anyone else.

"Really...?" Felix answered, sniffling slightly, and you swore you could almost hear him crying a bit. "T-Thank you so, so much, Y/N..."

"By the way....I'm outside," he added, wiping away the tears of joy from his adorable freckled face.

"Wait, what?!"

you ran over to the door of where you lived and opened it. Felix was standing there, and you could see that his face was a little red from crying. he was holding a box of brownies for you and a bouquet of roses.

you covered your mouth, jaw dropping in awe at the gifts he had prepared for you. "You're lucky I didn't reject you, otherwise I don't know what you would've done with all these gifts..." you teased, and then thanked him multiple times, over and over again. you felt as if your verbal thanks wasn't enough, so you gave him a small kiss on his cheek, right on his adorable heart shaped freckle.

"Oh...it's nothing..." he said, his face turning a deep shade of pink. he wondered if this was real or just a dream.

but you kept thanking him anyway and telling him how much you loved him. you felt like nothing could ever express all your love. but you tried to express most of how thankful you were.

with another kiss. on his lips this time.

the kiss lasted a couple minutes. it was soft and warm, like cuddling in blankets by a bonfire in winter. he tasted like cherry-topped strawberry shortcake sundaes at the ice-cream parlor on a hot summer day (A/N: hot aussie summer day for all my fellow aussie bffs reading). he was such a sweet angel. and now he was your sweet angel.

"Happy valentines day, Felix~!" you said, giggling at the sight of his blushing red face. "I love you~"

Felix opened his mouth to speak, but he struggled a bit, still trying to process the kiss you just gave him. finally, he managed to croak out a response.

"I-I-I love you too, Y/N..."

"so...my new boyfriend...wanna play Animal Crossing?"

"Fuck yeah."

-lixie xoxo

[ceruark]

Hi ! Dont worry about not being as active, health and happiness comes first, and there is always someone whos willing to wait for you.

I just found the entwined au which i loved. I also had my theory for the follow up, that it was Robin who sabotaged Sunday. Because they have the same intentions but go about it differently. Probably she was the one who noticed Sundays obsesion the most and wanted to free you from that future.

As for Ratio, we are lucky he is on our side and cares for us, because, like you said, he isnt unwilling to use our trust to his benefit. Also Im guessing he was orphaned young but actually has royal blood? Probably his kingdoms court threw him out because they were corrupt? Those are my theories. Hopefully he doesnt find out or else we will be in trouble haha.

Also loved that Gepard was the best option among the suitors, is he not yandere? Hes like a puppy.

Finally the whole time i was imagining Himeko as my late mother but her dying would make me sad so Im wondering what the rest of the astral express is up to.

These were a few of my thoughts while reading! You wrote the scenes so well, when sunday won my heart dropped after all the tension. I was really hoping he would lose haha.

(entwined au masterlist)

Thank you so much for your kind words, it really means a lot to me :) <3

I'm so glad you like the Entwined AU! As for Robin, she's an interesting figure here, for sure. She cares deeply for both you and Sunday, her childhood friend and her dear brother, but even she can't turn a blind eye to Sunday's unhealthy obsession with you. She knows him better than anyone else, and she knows that his love is going to destroy the both of you if it goes unchecked. She loves her brother and wants to see him happy, but not at the cost of anyone else's prosperity and freedom.

I wouldn't say Robin is bold enough to cut the sash herself, but who's to say she wouldn't conspire against him? If beloved Princess Robin was seen talking in hushed whispers to Imperial Advisor Ratio before the dancing started, it's anyone's guess as to what they were discussing.

Yes, we're certainly in a lucky position when it comes to Veritas being on our side and being unknowing of his past— it'd be far too easy for him to seize your hand marriage if he knew the truth. You already trust him so easily, what reason would you have to deny him?

But yes, your guesses are correct: Veritas is a prince by blood, but was thrown out of his kingdom the moment he was born. His father had long since perished in a terrible war, and his mother perished in childbirth. It was far too easy for some corrupt advisors to get rid of him and say that the prince passed on with his mother. It was easy to hand the throne off to a different prominent family who promised them riches unfathomable if they managed to pull it off.

Queen Ruan Mei's advisory court are awfully nervous in your presence when it's Ratio at your side instead of Welt, though you and the queen herself cannot possibly imagine why.

Gepard is not yandere in this AU... I personally cannot imagine him being yandere in any capacity, so he is by default the best option of all the suitors. He's such a golden retriever, he'd treat you right and would protect you! Hopefully. Belobog's forces could stand against Penacony's... right?

I could never kill off Himeko, that would break my heart! I hadn't really thought about the other express members besides Welt, but now you've got me thinking... Maybe after the Entwined incident with Sunday, it's finally time for you to start gutting your advisory court and get rid of those who don't respect your wishes.

Welt is quick to recommend Himeko, a military strategist with a sharp mind and flawless record. After some more searching, you manage to also recruit March, a young but optimistic and sociable woman who's very in touch with the common people. You also recruit Dan Heng, a reserved but dependable political and economic analyst who plays the advisor role oddly well despite claiming to have no prior experience. (You'll have to look into those rumors about him having been a Xianzhou advisor. The last thing you need is Jing Yuan slithering his way into your business.)

It's so good to hear that you enjoyed the main story. I never could have imagined it would spawn into an entire world/AU like this! Your support means so much :)

[lanterns-and-daydreams]

Forbidden Fruit

A Grayson Hawthorne x oc fic

Warnings/notes (regarding the whole fic) : slight cursing, sexual innuendos, no smut, MLM, friends to enemies to lovers, might be a lil ooc (forgive me first fic ever if you dont count 'Wine and Woes'), i also changed Cassian to a human instead of a faerie, also, it's gonna be a little slow, please bear with me.

(please heed that this only a work of fiction, so do not be influenced by it, and for the love of God don't do anything that's happening in this fic.)

(trespassing is not a light matter, especially when you're breaking into a multi-billionaire's house. Doing this will have its consequences 🙏💀)

Word count: Idk man, lots of words here 💀

Summary: Grayson Hawthorne had always wanted to be like his grandfather. He had never been in the business of making friends, until he meets someone who is going to turn his life upside down, and possibly make his brain short circuit

Prologue

Part 1

"your ego is bigger than Jupiter itself. Your IQ on the other hand, is the complete opposite"

"i know you ain't talking like that when you don't know what basic slang is, blondie"

"i prefer doing more productive things than spending all my time on such uselessly mind-consuming pieces of media"

"........ This is why you have no friends and no bitches"

"i have you." Grayson smiled, something he rarely did "maybe that's all I need."

Pre-Timeskip

Grayson Hawthorne was not in the business of making friends, much like his grandfather, Tobias Hawthorne. Even though he was only 13 years old, he relied on himself, he did not ask for help. Grayson knew he was extraordinary, his grandfather had made sure he knew.

He was prepared for every possible outcome in every possible situation. Or so he thought, until he was face to face with a rather unusual looking boy

Unusual in the sense that the boy was wearing muddy overalls, his fluffy brown hair had leaves and twigs stuck in it. His smile is too big, too bright, much like the sun shining overhead. Grayson's eyes trail down the short boy's appearance, hes holding his hands out to Grayson, holding two red geraniums in them. The geraniums are muddy too. Grayson's face scrunches up looking at the filth.

"Who are you?" Grayson glares at the boy "And how did you get in here?"

For anyone else, Grayson's glare would have been terrifying. His silver eyes making them uncomfortable in their own skin. But this boy? He kept grinning, and holding out his flowers. The audacity he had to ruin Grayson's peaceful garden time agitated Grayson.

"My name is Cassian!" Cassian smiles brightly "Whats yours?"

Grayson did not want to answer, this boy's innocence was.....annoying, but he did so out of politeness, and perhaps the hope that maybe this boy would leave if he knew who he was talking to was far superior.

"Grayson" Grayson introduced himself "My name is Grayson Hawthorne."

Grayson did not see any flash of recognition in the boy's midnight blue eyes. That agitated him more. First, this boy had the audacity to interrupt his peaceful garden time, Now, he didn't even know who Grayson was?!

"Woah! You have a cool name! Grayson. Gray, like your eyes" he says in awe, as if he had never seen gray eyes before

What was Grayson even supposed to say to that? Grayson frowns at Cassian. Hoping that maybe he'll see the obvious annoyance and leave. But Grayson's hopes were nothing if not futile, because Cassian just smiles at him.

Instead, he just tells him something Grayson does not want to know

"My last name is Moonbeam!" he smiles

Cassian Moonbeam? What a ridiculous name..... Grayson thought

It was also not a name Grayson recognised, so one, this boy was not from a prominent family, and two, he was not a worker's son. Since those children never approached Grayson, knowing who he is.

"You do realize that you're trespassing, right?" Grayson raises an eyebrow, looking down his nose at the boy

Cassian cocks his head to the side a little "Trespassing?" he says, expression neutral "but there's only one of me, wouldnt that make it unopassing?" he grins

This boy..... Grayson's mind comes up with a few rude words, but he decides to keep them to himself.

Instead, he calmly says "That wasn't funny"

"it wasn't meant to be."

"How did you get in here?"

"i slid through the tall border thingy" Cassian points at the tall border that separated the woods from the estate. Grayson's eyes slid from the metal border back to Cassian

"And no one saw you? Not even one of the guards? And how in the world did you manage to slip through the gap?!"

"oh. Um. Well, i kinda watched the guards routine a lot, so I slipped in when they were away." Cassian grins "And it's not that small of a gap. Plus, I'm small and lean"

Grayson was so done with this kid and this whole conversation. He wanted this boy gone

He sighs and states "Trespassing, especially onto the Hawthorne estate, is a crime"

Cassian's grin disappears and he cocks his head to the side "Crime? Are you saying the police are gonna arrest me?"

"im saying they can if they are notified"

"Then let's not tell them." Cassian slightly juts out his lower lip

Grayson was appalled. Things like this should be notified. So no one else creeps onto the territory. Tobias Hawthorne was a man whose head multiple people wanted. Grayson didnt know who those people were or why, but he knew that with power, came risk.

"Are you seriously telling me I shouldn't tell someone that someone trespassed onto the territory?!"

Cassian shrugs and Grayson wants to strangle him, instead, he sighs exasperatedly

"How old are you?"

"11. Why?"

"Doesn't that explain so many things" Grayson says sarcastically and rolls his eyes

"What does that mean!?"

"Nothing you should be concerned about considering the situation you're in. How do you even plan to get out of here?"

Cassian looks a little confused "Huh? What do you mean? I'll just go back out the same way I came in"

Grayson scoffs "Thats not what I meant. Now, hypothetically, I don't tell on you, but do you really expect to just leave without a scratch? One of the guards could see you as you're trying to get out. Fate isn't in your hands"

Cassian pauses "But I already have scratches"

Grayson grits his teeth "Those are not the kind of scratches I'm talking about, Cassian"

"Doesn't matter." Cassian frowns slightly "What about you? How old are you?"

"I have no reason to tell you" Grayson replies dismissively, pauses, and then says "13"

The smirk on Cassian's face is smug "oh, so you're a baby. Like me"

"Baby?!" Grayson looks offended "I am not a baby!"

"You are" Cassian leans forward, and with one muddy finger, boops Grayson's nose "Boop!"

That's it. How dare this....this commoner touch him?! It was bad enough not knowing who he is, now this?!

"Do that again-" Grayson starts to threaten, but is cut off with another boop to the nose "Wha-"

"You said 'do it again' " Cassian smirks cheekily

"I swear to God-" Grayson takes a deep breath, composing himself. It was not like him to lose his temper over something like this "Do not do that again. Now, state your business for bothering me"

"Flowers." Cassian holds up the geraniums "For you."

Grayson paused, processing this information "......"

"you trespassed onto Hawthorne property to give me flowers?!"

Cassian nodded excitably

"You are either exceptionally smart or extremely stupid" Grayson sighs "i do not want your flowers"

"ill forgive you for calling me stupid, since I want to be your friend."

"i do not want you as a friend. Why would you even want to be friends with me?"

"Because you're a loner with no friends to bring you flowers" Cassian shrugs

Grayson had to admit, that stung. He did have so-called "friends", but he never was close with them, so they were more like strangers that he knew. But was he going to admit he didn't have friends to Cassian? Absolutely not.

"i have friends" Grayson grits through his teeth, fists clenching at his sides. He was getting impatient.

"No, you don't. I would've seen them if you did" Cassian says smugly

Grayson pauses, inhaling a sharp breath "you were stalking me?"

"i wouldnt say that," Cassian takes a step closer as Grayson takes one back "More like, saw you sitting here alone everyday as I passed by."

"And if i dont believe you?" Grayson says, internally prepared for a fight

"Well, I'm already here and giving you flowers. Red, right? Your favourite color?" he holds up the flowers again

"Youre a wierdo," Grayson slaps his hand away "i dont want your flowers."

Cassian frowns a little "oh. That's okay, maybe you hate these ones. I'll bring you some more tomorrow"

"Do not come back" Grayson grits

"im gonna" Cassian places the flowers at Grayson's feet, stands back up, looks at Grayson, shoots him a mischievous grin, and boops his nose again, making Grayson's nose officially the most booped part of his body.

Grayson opens his mouth to finally curse but Cassian starts running away "Oh, no, you don't." Grayson runs after him

But Cassian is surprisingly fast, and dodges Grayson multiple times

"We're playing tag, now?" Cassian snorts a laugh

Grayson realizes what's happening and stops dead in his tracks and frowns, glaring at Cassian.

"Leave." he says, barely holding on to his anger

"Why-" Cassian begins, but Grayson interrupts

"Leave before I tell on you. I'm giving you a free card once, don't expect it again" Grayson takes a breath through his teeth

Cassian slowly blinks at him, but then smiles softly and says "Okay! I'll figure out how to get out by myself next time"

Grayson watches as the boy sneakily watches out for the guards, and then darts into the woods without being seen, and eventually vanishes out of sight.

Grayson lets out a huff of irritation, and begins to walk back to the House, when he notices the muddy geraniums on the grass in front of him.

He hesitates for a second before picking them up.

I'll just throw them away, it doesn't matter. He thought

But a small part of Grayson, that he desperately tried to push away, wants to keep them. He doesn't want to admit it, but he really did not have any friends to bring him flowers. He was still suspicious of the boy, but he decided to see where all of this would end.

But for now, all he had to focus on was getting inside, taking a much needed shower, because of that pesky boy, and then attend lunch with his brothers and Grandfather.

Prologue part2

Tagging:

@never-enough-novels @pink-mask-06

@x-liv25-jamieswife