#i love my cringefail sorcerer

[fasterdisasters]

no one will ever convince me wild magic sorcerer isn't good just because it's "not optimized" or "actively hostile to the team". i constantly fuck up my own plans by turning into a sheep or setting half the encounter on fire. i once triggered a surge that dropped a fog cloud on me after casting fog cloud somewhere else. i gave everyone around me insta-crit weapons including the guy that immediately downed me on the turn right after mine. almost every time i surge it has a negative effect.

and it's still the most fun i've had playing this game. it's like gambling and the jackpot is the funniest fuck up you've ever seen in your life. i don't care about min-maxing or damage per turn or any of that. can your smite machine paladin turn a room full of zombies and half your party into dogs? i think not.

[trucbiduleschouettes]

Was thinking about Cinder bugging the three PCs on session one some weeks ago-

[Do not use/repost]

[little-bee-draws]

ID: two nearly identical images of a bust portrait of Idris (she/they), a young feminine air genasi. They have blue skin and white/light grey hair. Her hair is curly and medium length on top, but shaved short on the sides and back. It's styled in a high ponytail. There are a few curls of peach and gold among the grey. There is pink blush on their cheeks and the tips of their ears. She is looking at the viewer with her head turned to the right. They have simple gold jewelry in their visible ear. She wears a high-collared purple shirt and a grey robe. The background is peach. In the first image Idris is wearing a pair of gold spectacles with circular frames; in the second image she is not. The artist's signature is "L-T-Bee." End ID.

Finally did a proper portrait of Idris. She's lvl 3 now and just killed someone for the first time (and is feeling real bad about it.)

[dragonskxn]

I love that Charisma is the highest stat for Sorcerers because.

Annalise figured "oh I'll polymorph into a draconic bloodline sorcerer it'll probably be easier to hide my dragon self that way"

And here she is. High Charisma stat yet she's the most cringefail bitch you'll ever meet. Eats rocks bc mmmm yummy. Talks to her pet pig. Bahamut's most sad pathetic wet beast.

[talesfromaurea]

Welcome to my writeblr! I post about my main project, Tales from Aurea, as well as reblog writing and art that other folks share. I am always open to tag games and ask games.

The Aurean Empire, once the dominating force at the heart of Calthia, is crumbling. Those who have been waiting for their chance at greatness will seize power at any cost. As political chaos erupts across the continent, four unlikely companions come together with a humble goal: helping a mysterious young girl named Kaja find her way home.

But when it comes to light that Kaja’s lost people have the ability to turn the tide in the power struggle gripping Calthia, suddenly all eyes—friend and foe alike—are turned towards her.

The Party: The Barbarian: Jo, former elite warrior turned lone wolf, de facto leader of the group, dotes on Kaja and is highly protective of her, can shapeshift into a giant sabercat

The Wizard: Sakrattars Mistwood, the fourth son in a prominent Imperial family (that he no longer speaks with), cringefail loser, in it for the fame and academic redemption, has a useless toad named Bartholomew as a familiar

The Sorcerer: Kaja, lost child, traumatized, has some connection to dragons, kinda ditzy, very gentle... until you threaten her friends, low-key the strongest one in the party

The Fighter: Leif Hjalmarsson, mercenary who loves wine women and song, enamored with heroism and glory but kinda sucks at fighting (maybe due to all the wine?)

The Ranger: Amale Inyoni, the party's dog (literally), strong silent type but his wagging tail gives away his game, hates violence loves sticks

What to expect: ~A slow-burn, epic fantasy ~World building you can sink your teeth into ~Lots of dragons (and also demons) ~Based on an actual Pathfinder game played at the table ~Dungeon crawls and other TTRPG elements baked into the narrative ~Special "end of arc" art posts showing character level, class, and stats at that point in the story

Content warnings: violence and blood, character death, discussion of topics including imperialism, genocide, and slavery

**updates every 2-3 weeks**

Current Progress:

Arc 1 - Ordo Draconis: 10 of 10 chapters uploaded, ~60,000 words

Arc 2 - Iron and Ice: 10 of 10 chapters uploaded, ~67,600 words

Arc 3 - Echoes of the Past: *begins November 29th*

Read on Royal Road here!

[lunearobservatory]

Okay I LOVE Wild magic Sorcerer Florida but also consider he's a dual class with levels in the Arcane Trickster Rogue subtype.

I can't decide if Loui would be a Circle of Spores Druid or Circle of Land Druid, but honestly Loui as a Druid is so goated.

New York as a barbarian is interesting because I would more consider TEXAS as a barbarian. I was thinking of New York as a Rogue or Monk.

California as the worst Bard ever is also hilarious. I think he's just waiting it out until he can take a dual class. Maybe he'll takes levels in being a wizard or a warlock.

OOH I see it yeah I see it HMMMM i have a few others as possible multiclassers so mayb Florida is a special lil guy (he has a secret he has a secret he has a secret im not gonna say what it is yet heehoo) as long as he's able to cause some chaos he's happy. I just... the surge table is so important, whatever else he is or does, I need him to have it

On my funny little ideas doc Texas is a (possibly minotaur?) barbarian hehehe don't you worry, that was like the literal first thing I put down. Get me this freak in a rage state !!!

WAIT A MINUTE... you may be on to something,,,, monk with a club (baseball bat) NY. LMAO ok ok ok. I'm writing that down I'm gonna play with that

I like California being a cringefail bard so much. Like. Honestly I said I have him as a wildfire druid but I am noooootttttt settled on it at all (it was a mostly haha fire joke recommendation from my brother who's a professional DM, he's helping me with this lol) and alsoooo that's kinda cramping louie's whole druid thing. I just think he should try giving bardic inspo and be like. erm !! 😀😀😀 yeah !!!! 😄😄😄😁 woo yeah !!! 😁🙂🙂 lets go gamers !!! 🫶🫶🫶 yeah girlie go get em !!!! What a fucking dweeb I want him to trip over his shoelaces that Florida tied together

SPEAKING OF LOUIE. WOAAAAHHH CIRCLE OF SPORES... HOLLLYYYY SHIIIIITTTTTT UR SO RIGHT. FREAKY MUSHROOM AAAH I wanted to give him sooommeeething to do with death but wasn't committed to giving him full on necromancy 🥲 that feels like too much, but fungal infestation is so fucking perfect for him WOWWIE AAA hell yeah HELL YEAH

[cactusringed]

IM asking you to ramble about bg3 au and autism blast everywhere. and makeout and how sexy and funny you are.

I love you both so much our wedding is coming soon

Anyway OK listen. Listen to me okay Bg3 refers to baldurs gate 3 and for all you need to know it's a dnd video game where the characters get infected with literal brain worms which should have turned them into murderous cultists, but somehow they got spared that fate, and come together to get rid of their brain worms

The party is made of

Grian: a gnome druid whose preferred wild shape is a bird and who might have some hidden aasimar origins because Grian HAS to be God's favorite princess all the time

Scar: an elf ranger who was torn away from his family when he was kidnapped by illithids, and whose closest bro Cub (a warlock who's made a pact with archfaes) was also infected but sadly was turned into a cultist. Scar is desperately looking for him.

Scott: a tiefling bard/sorcerer who does most of the group's talking with npcs both due to his travels making him the more knowledgeable of the group about the region but also because as a bard you can do wild shit like just convince really powerful entities to just kill themselves for fun and that's a very Scott thing to do

Mumbo: a half drow artificer who tbh is the most normal of the group (as far as everyone knows anyway)

Jimmy: half aarakocra (bird :D) vampire cringefail rogue who. Well yeah he's a stand in for astarion me and my friend just wanted a cringefail vampire with negative charisma ok

Joel: A half elf barbarian who has a little secret. The secret is that he's a murderous bastard. But like in the most literal sense of the word

Joel's role specifically has me so mentally ill. Okay. So like. You need a teensy bit of lore for this ok and this will include spoilers for baldy gate 3 if the 2.5 people who read this far intend to play the viddy game well stop reading but still kiss me on the mouth.

So the Lore has many gods and the gods are just real tangible all powerful beings. Much like with Greek mythos, you following a specific god isn't because you only believe in that God, but because you're most devoted to them. Well that's how I see it anyway. And there are three gods associated with death and evil (it's more complicated than that in my hc but we don't have time). One of them is Bhaal. And Bhaal, get this, is the most metal fucking fictional god I've seen because he's the god of MURDER.

Something something he had to give birth to people called Bhaalspawn for some reason who are his direct children and carry a piece of him within them or something (Bg/dnd superfans don't come at me) and it's all part of his grand plan to take over the world. WHATEVER

But Joel IS a bhaalspawn. And he was Bhaal's specialest most favorite bhaalspawn. And now, okay, the thing about bhaalspawns is that they're not actually inherently evil, but they do carry that part of Bhaal within them - his will, and his potential for power. Some Bhaalspawn are raised specifically to be daddy's best little murderers and of course that's how Joel was brought up.

He was examplary because he was trained to be. He was capable of some of the most rancid bloodshed because it was what he was taught, and rewarded for. He was created to be murder incarnate, so any other emotions (love, empathy, etc) were shunned until Joel was either incapable of it, or refused to show it.

Except something happened. He got betrayed, usurped, and infected with the aforementioned brainworms which led to his memory loss. What did remain, even as he escaped the ship keeping him captive, even as he joined up with other infected survivors, was... A primal need. Like it was coded in his DNA, like it was in his blood itself: he had a need to kill. Not just kill, but spread misery, spread pain, and acquire power at any cost. He mostly unleashes those urges onto his enemies, but it never feels like enough. Like a scratch he can't quite itch. Of course, that's all Bhaal trying to reel him back in, Bhaal trying to reclaim him.

But like clockwork - because such ingrained training doesn't go away no matter how much one thinks they forgot - he finds himself relishing in it. In the violence of it all. The only time he feels truly alive is when he's covered in blood and gut.

... That is, until he finds himself growing closer and closer to Jimmy. After a night where Jimmy, desperately trying to hide his very obvious identity as a vampire but also desperately hungry, tries to feed off of Joel, and reveals his secret... Well, Joel had all rights to kill him right then and there. He reasons that there's no fun in killing someone so helpless but in truth there's something a bit charming about Jimmy. He's earnest, and he's just so... Not exactly innocent, but also sort of? He gives Joel to urge to protect him. To hold him so tight and close as to choke him. But in a sweet way. Probably.

Joel won't be able to put it into words for a long while yet, half because he refuses to let himself feel such things because he's so horrifically repressed. He was the only one at camp who didn't even guess Jimmy was a vampire before the big reveal because he's got negative int and wis (his strategy in battle is just hit things hard before they can hit you and honestly it works most of the time) so he'd just never noticed the obvious signs. Anyway. Because his blood is the tastiest and somehow he's one of the companions who acts the least weird about it, which really says a lot, Jimmy ends up mostly feeding off of him. And, well, something about letting your homie regularly suck blood out of your neck is bound to lead to something more. Joel becomes a bit possessive of his little birdie.

When Joel learns that he's Bhaal's special little princess, in truth he's fucking elated, because he spends weeks torturing himself in an attempt to remember who he is, what he's doing, what's wrong with him - and he's finally afforded answers. He leans fully into it. He's so happy to serve his God with bloodshed.

Until he's faced with him. With Bhaal. And after Joel committed countless atrocities (which the rest of their group didn't mind that much as lokgi as they stayed in the clear. They're all bad people) bhaal asks him to shed one last bit of blood before receiving his blessing, before becoming his chosen, he who will enact the murder God's plans. He needs to get rid of his pesky earthly desires and affections. They have no place within murder incarnate. He asks Joel to flat out kill Jimmy or die right here and then.

You'd think Joel would hesitate with how intensely pro-Bhaal he is. You'd think it would be a difficult decision. Jimmy would have thought too. Except that Joel's response is instant and intense. He tells Bhaal to go literally fuck himself, that he'd rather kill every last Bhaalspawn and make sure his bloodline ends with him, rather than lay a finger on Jimmy. Jimmy, whose helped his heavy heart feel so light and free. Jimmy, who makes him feel true warmth. Jimmy, who makes Joel want to appreciate every sunset, every breeze, every breath of fresh air. Jimmy, who treats Joel as so much more than a bloodthirsty beast.

Joel never thought he would want to be anything more than a bloodthirsty beast.

So of course Bhaal kills him because he's literally a god. Right in front of Jimmy. (there's plot and dnd magic that brings him back but it's definitely the culmination of his arc; that Joel, groomed to become murder incarnate, was given an opportunity to find another meaning to his life)

Also they have CRAZY sex

[bhaalschosen]

i love sloane but shoutout to my other blorbo, half-dragon drow sorcerer nessa're shadrav sweeping the awards for Faerun's Most Cringefail Woman

she's 4'11" and she loves arson, illegal fireworks, and fistfighting cops in the streets of baldur's gate

here's her pinterest

[haunted-house-heart]

hi yes hello i am asking about a little wild, a little fond!!! i would like to know more!!! :D

quin i would kill for you. thank you sm you're the best <33333

ok so a couple years ago i woke up from a dead sleep with this scene in my head and had to write it out, and that was like. the beginning of this project. i named it based on a line from the scene it's like "he grinned - a little wild, a little fond" and it just stuck

i haven't done any more writing for it because ya boi hasn't written in Ten Thousand Years but i've been working on fleshing out the characters so !!!

wilder - they're a nonbinary teenager, like 14/15, who starts showing signs of magical abilities. the story is set in a fantasy world where magic is fairly prevelent but their family is like. magic deniers. so they run away. and they find themselves at a magic shoppe owned by:

amariel - a middle aged grumpy ass guy who hates everyone and everything. he's a great sorcerer, and soon to be reluctant father figure. he's aroace, and married to his lifelong best friend and platonic soulmate:

bear - a big fat butch woman who is the literal embodiment of sunshine. one hug from her will cure your depression. she does glassblowing art, some carpentry, and she used to be a soldier, so she acts as defense for amariel and their ward, wilder, during The JourneyTM

cordelia - known as captain cord to most, this is our resident transfem bisexual pirate. she's actually the reincarnation of the goddess of the sea. she was cursed to live out human lives, forever seperated from her lover, the moon. she has no memory of her past lives or the curse, just a faint memory of her lover's face, and an uncontrollable love of the sea. at 16 she runs away and eventually takes over the ship leviathan.

seren - goddess of the moon. i haven't figured it out exacly yet but cord's curse was actually a punishment for seren. don't have much else for her yet.

prince zenith "nyx" revallie - a cringefail pretty boy. the only thing he's ever done right in his life is allowing cord to basically control the royal waters. he ends up in a polycule with cord and seren so basically you have these two ultra power women and their pet prince. his entire existence is due to my love for pirate/royal stories.

i really want for the big theme of the story to be like. about how the more you love yourself the more control you have over your life. when you hate yourself you have to beg other people for praise and affection and it's so easy for other people to control you. once you start to love yourself you start regaining control over yourself and your life. i want to really have it like. wilder is just a broken kid. they've never had anyone show them love or respect in their life. and then these people come into their life and show them love and how each of them is confident in themselves in their own ways and it teaches wilder to respect themselves. and the more they learn to love themself, the better they become at controlling their magic.

anyway its big queer found family shit. i'm trying to work an angel in there somewhere. there'll be a dragon at some point. big themes of "women are the best at swords", because i am a humble lesbian. lots of indulgent magic training scenes.

thank you so much for asking fam ilysm <333