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sweet-sammy-kisses · 3 years ago

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The Sun Leading Me Out of the Storm

Title: The Sun Leading Me Out of the Storm Link : AO3 Square Filled: Thunderstorm Ship: Eddie x Buck Rating: Teen Tags: Shannon Diaz Lives, Divorced Eddie and Shannon, Background Taylor/Shannon, Minor Eddie/Ana, Soft and Pining Eddie and Buck Summary: Eddie had already lived a life without Buck in it during the lawsuit and it had been worse than living without Shannon. It had been like half his soul had been ripped out of him, he had been lost in a storm than as well. Only that had been a storm of rage because he had been left adrift without his sun.

Buck is his sun.

Buck never failed to fill him with warmth when he needed it or shine the light dispelling the darkness. Created for @911bingo and @anyfandomfluffbingo

Eddie felt like he was trapped in a never-ending thunderstorm, lost in the rain, his voice drowned out by the thunder and his vision blinded by the lightning. He had felt that way since he started dating Ana and Buck began to distance himself from him.

He was lost in the storm and he didn't know which way it was out.

Ana was sweet, she was beautiful and it was easy being with her. She is everything that Shannon is not. He knows his parents would love her, she is their ideal partner for him. He can already hear his mother asking him when their wedding will be. His father would be proud of him. He would finally have their respect and that is all he wants.

Or at least that is thought he wanted.

There was no passion with Ana.

And then there is Christopher, his whole world. Christopher likes Ana but isn't fond of their relationship or fully supportive.

"She makes me feel like I can't do certain things. Not like Buck does."

Christopher's words echoed in him.

Ana was nice and easy to be with but he wasn't happy. Neither was Chris. And he didn't feel like he was himself with her. Like he was wearing a mask or acting a part. To Ana, he is Edmundo, not Eddie and she doesn't seem to want to get to know Eddie, she is happy with Edmundo.

Buck loves Eddie. He loves the imperfect man that has flaws but does his best.

Buck loves with his full heart, who just wants to be loved and not left behind and Eddie feels like he has failed in that. Since Ana came around Eddie has allowed the distance between them to grow because how was he supposed to be with Ana when the one that completes his and Chris' world is already with them?

There were two paths out of the storm one was with Ana and the other, the one his heart and soul are tugging him towards is with Buck.

If he continued down his path with Ana, where neither he and Chris are truly happy he would end up making his parents happy and finally feel like they truly love him. He would spend his life playing a role that he doesn't want.

But if he took the chance, if he acted on what is between him and Buck. What has been building between them since they met and Buck was so determined to hate him, which didn't last long, he could have a taste of true happiness.

Don't get him wrong he loved Shannon, she will always be special to him and he will always be grateful to her for giving him their son. But she had been right in divorcing him. They just weren't meant to be. They had been happy but now they were happier as co-parents to the most amazing kid and Shannon seemed to be happy with Taylor Kelly of all people. He can't believe that Buck set them up.

Shannon studied her ex-husband, "So I hear you are dating again."

A groan escaped Eddie, he had known that this was coming. "Yes, I am. Is that going to be a problem?" The last thing that he needed was for Shannon to have issues with Ana, okay so Shannon still hadn't completely gotten over Ana's attitude towards Chris and saying he needs limits after the whole skateboard incident.

"No, I am just wondering why you are going after your parent's dream girl and not following your heart."

Eddie froze, "I have no idea what you are talking about."

"Oh Eddie, you can lie to yourself but you can't lie to me. We both know that while you might be attracted to Ana you are only dating her because she would make your parents happy. And you shouldn't have to pretend to be someone you are not to get their approval. You, Eddie Diaz, are amazing as who you are." Eddie hadn't even seen Shannon move until she was standing before him and had her hands on her shoulders. "And we both know that there is someone out there who loves Eddie Diaz with all of his heart. But in the end, it is up to you, do you want to be Eddie or do you want to be Edmundo."

Shannon's words stuck with him, they buried themselves deep into his heart and whispered in his ear when he was with Ana and he tucked who he was away and played the role of Edmundo for her.

"Make sure you are following your heart and not Christopher's."

Carla's words stayed with him as well and they both knew that he wasn't following either his heart or Chris'. Chris had made it clear who he saw as his third parent, who he loves so deeply. Chris had made his choice long ago and now he was just waiting for his dad to make his.

Getting shot and seeing Buck covered in blood haunted him as did reaching out to him the need to know that Buck wasn't harmed. Buck told him that it should have been him filled his nightmares. Telling Buck that he was Christopher's guardian should anything happen to both he and Shannon had been easy because Eddie needed Buck to see that he wasn't expendable, that he is love more than he realizes.

Eddie had already lived a life without Buck in it during the lawsuit and it had been worse than living without Shannon. It had been like half his soul had been ripped out of him, he had been lost in a storm than as well. Only that had been a storm of rage because he had been left adrift without his sun.

Buck is his sun.

Buck never failed to fill him with warmth when he needed it or shine the light dispelling the darkness.

"I am a fool." Eddie knew which path he needed to take to get out of the storm.

+******+

Buck was bored. Shannon had his favourite Diaz for the weekend and she had a full weekend planned. He didn't want to disrupt the mother and son weekend, plus it seemed off that Eddie wasn't with him and Christopher, so he stayed away.

He could have visited his beautiful niece and checked in with his sister to make sure that she was doing okay but Chimney had been playing a special weekend for him and Maddie could read him like a book and the surprise would be ruined.

So here Buck was wandering around his loft unsure as what to do. He could call up Eddie but he didn't want to risk the chance that he was out with Ana or she was over at his place finally staying the night like she had been hinting at every since Eddie had recovered. There was only so much feeling his heart ripped out of his chest he could take pretending to be happy that Eddie, his best friend, the love of his life, was finally moving on.

He just wishes it was him Eddie was moving on with.

The sound of frantic knocking pulled Buck out of his thoughts and since he hadn't been expecting anyone and hadn't ordered any food he had no clue who was there. Still, at least it was something other than sitting around and pining for his best friend.

"Eddie?" When Buck opened his door he never expected to come face-to-face with a frantic-looking Eddie.

"I'm in love with you."

Or for Eddie to say that.

Given the look on Eddie's face, he hadn't expected to say that. "Why don't you come in." Stepping back for the door Buck waited for Eddie to move past him and then he shut the door.

Buck could feel his heart pounding in his chest as he turned to look at Eddie. "Did you mean it?"

Eddie wasted no time in closing the distance between them and cupping Buck's face with his hands, "I do. I am in love with you Evan Buckley. I have been for a long time. You are the sunshine that pulls me out of the raging storms and brings back the warmth into my life. Without you, I would be lost and adrift."

"I'm in love with you Eddie Diaz. I have been for so long that I can't remember a time that I didn't love you. Even when Abby still had a place in my heart I knew that what I felt for her was a shadow compared to what I felt for you and those feelings have only grown." Buck admitted in a soft voice.

Stroking Buck's cheek Eddie felt like his whole world had settled, "I'm sorry it took me so long to get here. I'm sorry I hurt you with Ana. I went with what my parents would want instead of following my own heart."

Resting his forehead against Eddie's Buck smile was full of love, "All that matters is that you got here. And now you are stuck with me for life."

Eddie's eyes shone with pure love, "Good because I wouldn't have it any other way." And then he was moving and doing something he had been dreaming of for so long kissing Buck.

Buck melted into the kiss as he clung to Eddie. Never had a kiss left him so weak in the knees and he wondered if this is what it felt like kissing your soulmate.

Eddie would still have storms but Buck would always be there showing him the way out of them and back into the sunshine.

#buddie #buck x eddie #otp: you can have my back anytime #911 bingo #sherri writes #my fics #any fandom fluffy bingo #any fandom fluff bingo

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mr-and-mr-diaz · 4 years ago

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I Don’t Understand Buck Begins.

PSA this is a bit of rant. Not a hate-rant or anything like that, but I do express frustration and if you’re not here for that right now, please skip this. It is complicated and ended upa bit long. But if you’re up for it, I’d LOVE to know your thoughts.

I actually want to talk about this with people. I’m not here to drop a statement like a microphone and walk away. The first time I watched Buck Begins, I loved it. I still do. But as I think back on it and rewatch, there are some major issues I’m spotting:

1. Buck in his whole life has been endangering himself in order to get the attention (dare I say LOVE) of those around him. I feel like the Firefam’s (very OOC) responses to him recklessly endangering himself again only enforced these destructive habits?

2. Firefam’s OOC reaction: In literally every other episode, when Buck recklessly endangers himself the firefam immediately put the brakes on, tell Buck to treasure himself, not to be reckless, to think things through, to realize that the victim got out because of sheer good luck (as well as hair-brained thinking on Buck’s part, but some of Buck’s decision making also really endangered him, more on that later.) The fact that Bobby let Buck work that fire at all in the state of mind he was in is odd. The fact that Hen told him he was for whatever reason correct in choosing to split from the party and go on his own in his current state of mind was beyond odd. Looking back, it doesn’t feel like real moments, but rather contrivances dressed in nice words like “I don’t this often but you’re right” (NO HE’S F**KING NOT!!) so that we wouldn’t question them immediately. Was Buck correct that the other team needed anotehr man? Yeah. Was he right that it should be him? NOPE. Anyone could see that, we could see that, the Firefam could see that. but they let him go anyway. This is OOC, they’re smarter than that, and they’ve known Buck for long enough to know when he’s triggered and more likely to make poor decisions. During it, when Buck disobeys orders and Bobby is calmly just like “Yeah he does that sometimes.” I’m sorry, did someone put Xanax in Bobby’s coffee? Why on earth would he be so calm?? In a normal situation he would never be calm about that--add to it the fact that he KNEW Buck wasn’t at his most stable at the moment? He should have been shouting into his radio and hauling ass, not shrgging and smiling with pride like “Yup! It’s cool with me” like what?? Then afterward, nothing but kind words and praise. Good job risking your life like an idiot, good job risking the other guy because you were so determined to get him out asap you didn’t stop to think. That’s what you do, Buck.

Like did they really just say that!?

The only nuance that I thought was right here, the only thing that was given emphasis that felt RIGHT, was not that Buck stays behind, not that he makes reckless decisions sometimes, not that he jumped into a fire while unstable, THE ONLY THING that should have been emphasized here, that the episode should have been based on? Is that BUCK DOESN’T GIVE UP. There’s a quality in him that we’ve seen before. one that Buck doesn’t seem to realize about himself. Athena’s moment was the only moment that looking back gives me any kind of cathartsis, because it is the only healthy reaction from the firefam that I saw (aside from them all running in after him--still love that moment.) they should’ve been gentle baout it, but nonetheless should’ve told Buck to treasure himself more, not be like “And here’s our most rekless memeber, pat on the back, kid, we love that you throw yourself into danger without thinking, in fact that’s what we love most about you!” Thinking back, I could SCREAM that that’s the message they left Buck with.

3. The victim: Let’s face it, the only reason the victim didn’t die is because the writers didn’t want him to. They made sure the tank landed somewhere non-fatal so that Buck could still get a win, even though many of his decisions thus far had been hare-brained and ill-advised, driven by a mad need to prove himself, and to never leave people behind, even if stopping and waiting and thinking might be more advisable at some points. In fact, when the victim first falls, and buck wakes up and he looks at him and I thought the victim was dead, first of all I was really sad for the victim, but I also felt like that was the right way to go. Buck’s decision making wasn’t sound, he wasn’t thinking straight, he went in anyway, by all rights the only reason the victim stayed alive after everything he went through was because the writers wanted him to stay alive which they followed with a big and in my opinion inappropriate Pat on the back Moment. The victim dying would’ve been tragic, but it would’ve driven home a lesson for buck, that hurting himself, endangering himself isn’t the answer, won’t always save the day. It would’ve taught Buck (harshly yes, but) that he needs to get his head on straight in this job. And if he had lost teh victim and the firefam had been there for him anyway, it would’ve been a whole different scenario.

In the episode, while it was super sweet and had some incredible moments, Buck learns nothing, his relationship with the Firefam doesn’t actually change at all, and his relationship with his family doesn’t appear to have actually progressed. He’s still prioritizing them over himself (bringing the parents into therapy since well, they’re trying which is apparently enough now), he’s now been encouraged to continue the reckless streak of self-sacrificing decision making that he’s been on in the past in order to gain teh love and recognition of the poeple around him.

I wish the writers had placed focus, not on Buck being accepting, not on Buck being restless, but on Buck not giving up. We saw bits of that yeah, but it wasn’t as highlighted as Buck ebing reckless and feeling overall like he’s not enough. I wish the episode had been centered there, and they had created an entirely different scenario start-to-finish that (like in Eddie begins, where there were no contrivances, the only reckless thing he does--cutting the line--is something that there isn’t a quetsion in a single brain he WOULD do and should do) where Buck is level-headed, where he’s in some kind of scenario where only he could uniquely succeed in because he never gives up. This episode had bits of it here and there, but ultimately what was running teh day was buck vulnerabilities, not his strengths. Insead of pointing out where Buck shines (like the other Begins episodes), they really only further highlighted what his weaknesses are and then proceeded to have the people around him encourage those weaknesses. Like, what?!

I also think this was the moment to solidify the firefam as his family. Instead, we see Buck retreating back toward a very unhealthy family situation and the firefam remains where they always are. What they did for buck in this episode was something incredible, but it’s also something they would do for any member of the firefam. What I wanted was for the firefam to show up for Buck in a way that he uniquely needs. How, I don’t know--perhaps taking a jab at his loneliness, surprising him with a dinner party at the loft, whatever. Something that told Buck “we see your pain, we see how tough your parents are, how you and Maddie need family who will show up and treasure you no matter what (WHICH BTW INCLUDES YELING AT YOU WHEN YOU’VE BEEN AN IDIOT AND TELLING YOU TO PLEASE FOR THE LOVE OF CRAP DON’T ENDANGER YOURSELF LIKE THAT AGAIN, PLEASE VALUE YOURSELF), that’s what Buck needed. An episode that would help him learn to treasure himself, believe in himself more, love the fact that he never gives up about himself, learn that dangerous stunts and running into things without thinking because he bleives that’s what gets him love is incorrect and unecessary. We didn’t get any of that. The episode was also trying to kill two birds with one stone, which brings me to my last point:

4. Framing Buck Begins around the sibling’s relationship, while GORGEOUS (seriously LOVED these moments they did and the casting was amazing, and both JLH and OS played their younger selves to perfection) I wish had been placed in a completely different episode. They didn’t belong here in an episode of Buck learning about himself. And because of the amount of airtime they took up, we ended up with an episode where Buck doesn’t really learn about himself in the end. Everything remains largely external instead of internal.

All in all, I feel like we need another Buck Begins episode to right the wrongs of this one. Nothing has been solved or fixed. Buck’s relationships remain pretty much the same going in as they do leaving. He has found no peace, no resolution (except in confirmation that Maddie loves him, which is nice, but largely external) he is still fuled by the belief that reckless behavior is what wins him teh love and attention of those around him.

This frustrates me to no end. If you feel like Buck Begins did scratch every itch for you, I’d love to talk and see your perspective as well, because I hate this itchy feeling of dissatisfaction and I dearly hope I’ve missed something here.

Anyway sorry this got so long. Didn’t realize I had QUITE so many thoughts until I started writing and then shit happened. If you made it to the end, thank youa nd I’d LOVE to hear your thoughts, whether you agree or disagree.

#buck begins #911 spoilers #i know this topic is SO 2 weeks ago but I had to exorcise this demon #evan buckley #firefam #9-1-1 #henrietta wilson #eddie diaz #chimney han #howie han #bobby nash #maddie buckley

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buckaroosboogara · 3 years ago

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911 week - Day 5:

��Can I tell you a secret?” + comfort

(1800~ words, Albert and Chimney, tw alcohol and mentions of addiction/addiction.)

@911week

"Albert, I don't know how or why, but if you don't want to be a firefighter anymore, just tell me." Chimney huffed.

"Well," Albert got up and stumbled with his feet. He gained composure and walked to the door. "I don't wanna be a firefighter. Father was right, I am useless. And just like him, an alcoholic. Now go away."

Chimney flinched, "This is not you Albert, please..."

"Well, what do you know about me, huh? We were apart for more than 20 years." Albert barked as he opened the door.

"I'll come back." Chim said, walking outside.

"Yeah, yeah."

Albert wanted to cry.

He felt like the world was turning him into a living joke, only alive to make people laugh, and he hated it.

He was a step closer to be out of the fire academy, and his instructor had warned him that if he made one mistake more, he would be out.

First, his written test had an 80/100, he would have like to blame it on Jee and her strong lungs that woke him up four hours before his exam at 8, but he couldn't do that. It was also his fault for constantly delaying the time to study for it, until dinner of the very last night before the exam.

Then, he decided to move in with Buck again, or better said, move to Buck's place since the other man was mostly at Eddie's place than his own flat, giving Maddie and Chimney the privacy they needed. They happened to go partying to celebrate Albert's birthday the night before a big Chief went unpromptedly to the academy, and Albert arrived late for the first time, just that day.

And now... he definitely deserved to get kicked out.

He filled his teammate's oxygen tank with the gases, mostly nitrogen and carbon monoxide, that the O2 truck's engine liberated.

He almost killed the girl during their training.

And he didn't have a father in an important charge or a politician mother to get him out of that trouble, like the story of a training firefighter in Chicago.

His only consolation was that his teammate, Jennifer, the only woman in his class, was already at her home, and had texted him to say it was okay, she knew he didn't mean to hurt her. That he was a harmless cinnamon bun, whatever that meant.

He went home after the furious instructor had made him leave the academy, having done enough harm for the day.

He messaged Buck, briefly telling him he was home early, and threw himself on the couch, the weight of guilt crushing him down.

Albert really wished Jennifer - or JJ, how she like her friends to call her, but Albert didn't consider himself one - would be okay and become a firefighter in the next two weeks, when their final physical exam would happen.

He also didn't want to alarm Buck or Chimney, both were stressed enough, having to juggle between being at the station and covering shifts for the two people down and having to take care of Maddie, Eddie, and Bobby, with the last two assuring they didn't need their help.

Between these thoughts he fell asleep, waking up some hours after, dreams of death and disappointment hunting him.

He put his jacket on and looked for a bar near, doing the only thing he ever learned from his father.

Drown his guilts in alcohol.

...

Chimney could feel something was wrong with his brother.

No, he knew.

The clues were right there.

He wasn't calling as much as he used to do, and whenever Buck called and was at their loft, Albert was not there.

That, plus Buck's comments about him arriving home very late and leaving very early, with dark eye bags and smelling of alcohol. Those comments didn't ease the feeling on Chimney's gut.

He first tried to call him, day, noon, even at 3 am when he couldn't sleep during a shift. Nothing.

Or, short messages telling him he would call later, but he never did.

Chimney knew how close Albert was to be a firefighter, and he knew that last week was the worst one. He feared what it would do to his brother.

So one day, the stars aligned and Buck saw Albert during the noon in their loft. He did what he could to keep him there and called Chimney to get there, he knew that Albert needed his brother rather than anyone else at that moment.

As soon as Chimney arrived, Buck left the building and both men could speak for the first time in a week and a half.

"Okay, I'm gonna go straight to the point." Chimney huffed as he closed the door behind Buck. "What the hell is going on with you?"

"Nothing." Albert lied, sitting on the couch with a beer in hand.

"Don't you dare lie to me. I know you and this is not you, Al. Talk to me." Chimney walked to the couch and stood in front of his brother.

Albert avoided his look and kept quiet.

Chimney huffed. "Look, the EMT in charge of the basic health support and procedures class, Eli, called me yesterday. He was glad another Han would become a firefighter, but then he told me you weren't there."

He crouched in front of his brother. "Albert, I don't know how or why, but if you don't want to be a firefighter anymore, just tell me. You don't need to avoid me, or Buck, for the record. Talk to me."

"Well," Albert got up and stumbled with his feet. He gained composure and walked to the door. "I don't wanna be a firefighter. Now go away."

Chimney flinched, "This is not you Albert, please..."

"Well, what do you know about me, huh? We were apart for more than 20 years." Albert barked as he opened the door.

"I'll come back." Chim said, walking outside.

"Yeah, yeah."

The door shut.

Chimney wanted to cry.

...

"Chimney! Nice to see you around for once, but why are you here?" Eli happily exclaimed when he saw Chim walking through the academy's halls the next morning.

"Hey Eli, it's nice to see you too brother." Chimney rolled his eyes fondly and hugged the man.

After making the appropriate small talk Chimney spoke, "I actually came here to ask about my brother..."

"Albert Han?" Eli asked and checked the clipboard he carried with him. "Uh, he hasn't come to my class in a week. Since the oxygen tank accident, actually."

Chim's mind stopped racing after the last sentence. "Oxygen tank accident?"

The EMS gave him an odd look. "Yeah... everyone here knows about it. He accidentally filled his partner's tank with monoxide and other gases from the O2 truck's engine."

Chimney took his hands to his eyes, too much information entering his brain, Eli continued. "She passed away during training and hit her head, but apart from that and the toxic inhalation she was perfect."

"Shit. Okay, I would remember if he told me that." Chim shook his head. "And he hasn't come in a week?"

"Not to my classes." Eli said. "I thought that maybe you'd teach him for the exam, therefore he wouldn't come but... I know you, there's something more."

"Yeah. Just- I need to talk to him. Could you make sure they don't... you know... kick him out?"

"I'll do what I can." Eli answered sincerely. "Hey, it seems like almost getting kicked out is a Han thing now."

Chim winced. He had been very close... which actually gave him an idea.

"I gotta go, Eli, thanks for the... uh.. for everything!" Chim said, slowly tracking back. "Bye!"

...

Albert heard a knock on the door and groaned.

He waited for whoever was there to give up and walk away, but the person kept insisting.

"Open up Albert, I know you are there!" Chimney's voice sounded from the hall.

"Ugh, go away!" Albert huffed as he took a bottle of beer from the fridge.

"I'm not going away Albert. I'm going to stay here until Buck arrives or you open the door."

"So stubborn."

"Just like you."

Albert thought of his options. He could either wait or let his brother in and drive him away in minutes and he would be alone again.

He sighed as he opened the door. "Happy now?"

"No. I need you to talk to me, Albert." Chimney got inside. "I know about the accident. It's not your fault, look-"

"If you know, then you know it is my fault. She could have died. I could have killed her. It's not that I don't want to be a firefighter. I can't be one." Albert blurted out, his cheeks red from embarrassment.

"Albert..."

"And it's not just that- it's that every one of my written tests is marked only with an 80%, I can't seem to be there in time and then I almost killed one of my classmates, my friend. And- And I just- I feel like giving up." He took a swing of his beer. "And I did. Father was right, I am useless. And just like him, an alcoholic."

He made a sad smile and continued drinking.

"No, you are much more than that Albert." Chimney said, taking the bottle from his hand. "And you would make an amazing firefighter, don't ever doubt that."

Albert rolled his eyes and huffed, making his way to the couch. Chim followed and sat on the coffee table in front of his brother.

"Can I tell you a secret?" Chim asked after some seconds of silence.

"Go ahead."

"I almost got kicked out too."

Albert scanned his expression. "You're lying."

"The hell I'm not." Chim huffed. "Being a firefighter was the thing that kept me going for many years. Until I met Maddie. But, believe it or not, I almost got kicked out for not asking for help and being a jerk."

"I was struggling in the written exams too. Almost failing, while Kevin got all 95s and 100s. I got jealous and was too proud to ask him for help. Then I started having problems with the higher levels. But one day..." Chimney smiled. "One day Chief Aadav Panikkar, yeah, Ravi's father, called me to his office. And he helped me."

A tear slipped down Chimney's cheek. Albert ducked his head.

"I wanna help you, Albert."

"And, yeah, I'm gonna be realistic. You have little chance to graduate next week, but if we work hard and have a little luck, you will be able to." Chimney said, "And if you don't. Then you are going to kick ass with my help the next time you can apply to the academy. And we are going to AA. Okay? But we are going to do it together."

Albert's lips contracted in a fine line.

"Okay." When he looked up again, Chimney could see his eyes glowing with tears. "Thanks, Howie. I love you."

Albert got up and waited for Chim to do the same and hugged him.

"I love you too little brother," Chimney said, hugging his brother tightly.

They had a long way ahead of them, but together they were strong enough to get through it.

...

Despite all their efforts, Albert couldn't complete the training the first time, and it hurt, not just to the Han brothers, but to the whole 118.

Two weeks later they met with Bobby for a reunion with ex-alcoholics.

Six months later, Albert finished his last physical test, and the 118 was on top of the exam building, waiting for him.

He not only was in his official probationary year, but he learned that he had a family now.

A family that was with him throughout all those hellish months.

That was what the 118 was. Family.

#posting this 10 minutes before midnight yeahh #kinda rushed but i liked how it turned out #tw alcohol #tw alcoholism #911week2021 #chimney han #albert han #mentions of buckley siblings #911 on fox #911 fox #comfort #is this comfort?#i hope so #my fics

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florenceandthemachine · 4 years ago

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(my @911giftexchange contribution for @brcttshvghes!!) Relationships: Evan "Buck" Buckley/Eddie Diaz (9-1-1 TV) Characters: Evan "Buck" Buckley, Eddie Diaz (9-1-1 TV), Henrietta "Hen" Wilson, Howie "Chimney" Han, Bobby Nash, Athena Grant Additional Tags: First Kiss, Christmas, Secret Santa, Idiots in Love, Mutual Pining

Last Christmas, Eddie had—as Hen would put it—his ‘oh’ moment.

No, it wasn’t when Buck had thrown himself into action to help some random dad see his daughter sing for Christmas.

No, it wasn’t when Eddie caught Buck trying to sneak extra presents (for he and Christopher both) under the Diaz tree.

No, it wasn’t even when some random elf had complimented Buck on his “beautiful family”.

Eddie’s ‘oh’ moment came when Athena announced that she was saving them all from themselves, when he walked into the firehouse loft and saw his kid standing there, beaming like a megawatt spotlight, smiling not only up at his dad but at Buck; and suddenly things clicked into place. Buck had set all of this up, and sure, it was for the whole house... but it was also for him. Buck had done this all, for him. He had Chris in his arms, he had Buck by his side, and Eddie realized—not for the first time, but for the first time with this level of severity—that this was exactly what he wanted, for the rest of his life.

Forever.

Hence the ‘oh’ moment.

(Hen had suggested calling it his ‘no fucking shit, you clueless moron’ moment instead. Eddie had politely declined.)

The ‘oh’ moment was one thing. The ‘oh’ moment was great.

Afterward, though, afterward everything was kind of sucky.

Valentine’s Day was rough. Watching Athena lock up a newlywed couple together, that was fun, sure, but seeing Buck with Ali? That was... literal torture.

The tsunami sucked. The bomb sucked.

The lawsuit, that really fucking sucked.

But pulling Buck into his arms underneath some shitty Halloween decorations, being back together again, that... that was almost worth it.

Even if he had to watch Buck bat his eyes at Taylor Kelly a few days later.

“Why don’t you just tell him?” Hen had asked the next month, sprawled out over the couch in the loft, idly kicking Eddie’s thigh as he groaned, full of Bobby’s turkey and homemade cranberry sauce.

“And risk it all?” Eddie had asked, long since beyond the point where he wanted to even pretend that he didn’t know what Hen was talking about.

And when Abby reappeared in Buck’s life with a fiancée and two stepchildren, Eddie knew staying quiet was the right idea. He wouldn’t risk it. He couldn’t risk it.

“Hey, Eds, hand me another nail?”

So now here he was, almost a year later (“A full year of pining, Eddie, seriously, if you don’t say something by New Year’s—“ “I hate you, Hen.”), staring at Buck’s ass as he struggled to hang another loop of garland haphazardly throughout the station.

After a moment of hesitation, he did as he was asked, sighing as he held up another couple of tacks that Buck could push into the wall. “Why are you even doing all of this, Buck? I don’t know if you noticed, but the station was already decorated.” Eddie said with a hum, leaning back against the wall as he looked up to Buck, not-so-subtly admiring the way Buck’s entire body reacted as he laughed.

“Please, it looked like Pottery Barn threw up in here. We needed something other than stark white garland and red ornaments, Eds.” Buck descended down the step ladder and stepped back to admire his handiwork as Eddie looked around the station—as much as he hated to admit it, Buck was absolutely right. The station had been decorated by what looked like the night crew after one too many cups of coffee; too clean, too pristine, all glittering white garland neatly tacked up to every corner with a giant red bauble tacked at every intersection.

Needless to say, once Buck had gotten through with things, it was... definitely far from a professional looking decor job. Buck had rigged up huge wreaths made of fake garland and bows made out of giant, floppy, silver and gold ribbon, and hung them all over the station.

He had all but stapled his hand to the wall hanging up Christmas lights—the old, slowly blinking type, on the thick green cord, the type where if one light went out they all went out. There were twinkling, colorful lights all over the walls, mounds of fake snow around the staircase, big, fake poinsettias all over the kitchen.

At some point in time, while Hen and Chim were passing time upstairs in the loft and Bobby was stuck in his office doing paperwork, Buck had even rigged up his iPhone to play Christmas carols over the entirety of the station PA system (“Don’t worry, Eddie, calls will still come through and cut out over the alarm,” Buck had assured him, and Eddie was struck, not for the first time, with pride as he realized how much planning Buck really put into things like this).

The station was a mess, honestly. It was a jumbled, disorganized, chaotic explosion of Christmas. The station had gone from Pottery Barn to looking like a Yuletide grenade had gone off.

Eddie loved it.

“There! All finished. Back up, Eddie, I’m coming down.” Eddie blinked as he was jerked back into the present, standing back to admire the latest (and apparently the last) wreath that Buck had woven on the wall, acutely aware of the closeness that he and Buck shared as Buck beamed up at his handiwork.

He managed to look away from Buck’s smile—glowing didn’t even begin to cover it—right as Buck turned to look at him, clearing his throat. “Alright, Buck, what gives? Not that I’m mad about the extra decor you’ve doused the place with, but this is even bigger than what we did last year. There another surprise party that I’m supposed to be aware of?” Eddie asked, smiling as Buck threw his head back and laughed.

“No, no, nothing like that,” Buck started, looking over his shoulder as he folded up the ladder, heading back through the gym to the utility closet. “We’re still on for Christmas dinner at the station with everyone’s family, and unless Hen or Bobby has something else planned—because let’s face it, Chim would forget it was Christmas all in all if Maddie didn’t remind him—that’s all that we’re doing as a station. I just figured we needed as much holly-jolly as we could this year.”

His words were innocent enough, but Eddie had known Buck for years now, and the last year had been spent watching Buck a little more… closely than usual. So he knew that Buck’s innocent smile was just a shade on the wrong side of sneaky, how his words were carefully chosen so he wouldn’t be technically lying. Buck was smart—seriously, Eddie didn’t understand how people always forgot that—and they were the kind of things that Eddie would have missed if he wasn’t so… invested.

Sure. Invested. That was the right way to think about it.

“Hey, Eds,” and damn, a nickname shouldn’t bring him that much joy, “can you open the closet up for me?” Buck asked, the smile on his face seemingly innocent as Eddie rose a brow, stepping around him and just taking the ladder from his hands, pushing the door open behind him, not missing the look of surprise on Buck’s face.

“Wait, Eddie—no, I can—“

“Buck, it’s a step ladder, it’s no big deal. Did you take anything else out of the closet, or was it just this?”

“Well no, but it’s just that—“

Before Buck could continue his protest, the Christmas carols died out throughout the station, the siren blaring in its place, and for a split second, Buck looked absolutely crushed, which was weirder than anything else Eddie had witnessed that morning, because Buck loved going out on calls.

The moment was gone in a heartbeat, but it still made Eddie’s mind reel as they darted off to their lockers to suit up, mind racing with questions as Buck was all laughs with Hen as Chim got behind the wheel.

Something was up, and Eddie was going to find out what… even if the day had other plans.

There were two ways that shifts around the holidays were destined to go. Either the 118 would be dead quiet, or the crew would be completely dead on their feet.

Unfortunately, today seemed like it would be the latter.

No sooner than they had been cleared from their first call of the day did another roll in, and then another, and then another, to the point where the only time that Eddie had to text his kid was between calls, and the 118 was probably trapped in their turnout gear for a good five hours without a single break.

Buck, to the surprise of absolutely no one, only grew more and more alive with every save—he had an absolute knack for riding the rush that came with the job, and by the time they finally pulled back into the 118, Buck and Eddie couldn’t have been in a more different place in their lives.

“Alright, six calls in five hours. I think I’ve earned a fucking nap.” Eddie grumbled as he slid out of his designated spot next to Buck in the ladder truck, barely even waiting to get to the rack on the wall before he started pulling his turnout gear off, impatiently tugging at his sleeves and kicking his boots off before he bothered to even loosen anything.

While the sound of Buck’s laugh behind him certainly raised his spirit, he still pouted as Buck sauntered up beside him, easily removing his own jacket and boots and hanging them up with a certain sense of maturity that Eddie couldn’t muster at the moment. “Come on Eddie, a nap? Did you turn fifty while I wasn’t looking?” Buck asked, the teasing tone of his voice bringing a smile to Eddie’s face as he shoved Buck’s shoulder playfully.

“Just because you can keep up with Chris’ special blend of all night holiday nonsense doesn’t mean we all can, Buck.” Eddie started, rolling his shoulder as he hung his turnout coat back up. “Right now, he’s probably running Carla through literally every last strip mall in the state, trying to find a perfect present for our Buck, and… uh.” Eddie cut himself off, far too late, cheeks pinking up as he clamped his jaw shut.

He feared the worst for a moment when Buck looked at him with stars in his eyes, thinking that his slip hadn’t gone unnoticed, and he had to work to hide his sigh of relief when Buck grinned. “He’s getting me a gift? I mean, I know he doesn’t have to, and you know he doesn’t have to, but… fuck, Eds, I’m all excited now. Okay. Forget it. Anyway, come on. I want to completely obliterate you in Mario Kart.”

Eddie sighed softly, his smile big and dopey on his face as Buck got himself all excited, shaking his head as he kicked off his boots, finally leaving his gear behind. “Buck, if you think I’m going to add insult to injury and let you completely wipe the floor with me, you’re sorely mistaken.”

“Fine, then you don’t have to play. You can just hang around and bask in my awesome.” Buck said, his effort at being nonchalant almost going over Eddie’s head, just barely catching the sidelong glance that Buck shot him while he was re-lacing his work boots.

He narrowed his eyes for a moment as he watched Buck’s shoulders tighten, sighing as he shook his head. “Fine, but you better fucking dazzle me, Buckley.” he said as he started walking to the tiny corner of the bay they had set up as a miniature rec area (a fancy word for three couches and a big-ass television, courtesy of Chim’s baby brother), but not before he saw the abject joy that bloomed over Buck’s face.

As much as he wanted to believe that that much joy could simply come from Buck getting to spend time on a couch with Eddie, he had a sneaking suspicion, much as he did earlier, that something else was up.

“Who knows, maybe you’ll learn something by osmosis, and actually stand a chance against your kid the next time he—“

Buck was cut off by a bang as the firehouse door hit the wall, a panicked cry pulling Buck and Eddie’s attention as they both automatically started to move.

“Help! Please, please I need help, I don’t think she’s breathing!”

Eddie and Buck were both immediately moving, Chim and Bobby close on their trail as they came down the stairs from the loft, Hen already opening the back of the ambulance and yanking out one of her bags.

Eddie slowed himself down as he reached forward to take the body of a young girl from her clearly distraught mother, Buck already a step ahead of him as he put a braceboard down on the ground, placing her too-small body down on it.

(Eddie still hated situations that involved kids.)

The little girl was conscious, but only barely, wheezing along as Eddie laid her down, taking her pulse instinctively as he gave her a simple once over. “Signs of angioedema, breathing is shallow, pupils are tight, plenty of hives across the neck and chest. Ma’am, does she have any allergies, any—”

“No! I mean, I don’t think so, we tried a new recipe for our christmas cookies this year… uh, almond, maybe? I don’t know!”

“Okay, we’re gonna give her some epinephrine, you need to look into an epi-pen, Buck?”

Buck nodded, grabbing a pen from the ambulance, pressing it against the thickest part of her thigh (she was so tiny, Jesus) and plunging the needle into her skin. “Alright, now, we’re going to take her to the hospital, so hop in the ambulance—” Bobby started, nodding to the vehicle as Hen and Chim jumped into the drivers cab, “—and you can ride with or follow along, whatever you want.”

Eddie and Buck had the gurney popped up in a heartbeat, wheeling it in the back of the rig as mother and daughter were loaded up, doors slamming behind the pair of them as Hen practically burned rubber.

Eddie felt his heart rate start to slow back down to a regular, human level as the ambulance tore out of the bay, and even he couldn’t keep the small smile on his face as he turned back to Buck, expecting the expression to be mirrored on his partner’s face.

So, you could imagine his surprise when Buck just looked… tired.

“Buck? You good? You still wanna get a round of the… uh… whatever?”

He rose a brow as Buck hitched his smile back on, giving a half shrug as he shook his head. “Nah, Eddie, it’s good. I’m gonna get started on Bobby’s chore list.”

With that, he started up the stairs to the kitchen, and Eddie was left in the metaphorical dust, staring up to Buck’s retreating backside as he was left alone on the main floor of the 118.

The fuck was going on?

buck fifty: why do i have to clean the kitchen if bobby and athena are just going to be cooking in an hour anyway

sent: Because, Buck, normal people clean the areas where they’re going to be preparing food.

buck fifty: miss me with that logic i havent had food poisoning in weeks dont @ me bro

Eddie let out a breathy bark of a laugh as he pushed up on the leg press again, his back drenched in sweat as he read over Buck’s reply. As much as he hated doing anything even remotely close to leg day, he figured that now was the time to work it out—a workout did better than a nap to help him wind down from back-to-back calls (and a near poisoning, Hen and Chim weren’t even back from the hospital yet), but it was a great way to keep his hands free so he could text Buck.

It was kind of sad, honestly, how many decisions that he made in his day to day life that were focused on Buck.

Today, though, the mission was a little more ‘what the fuck is up with Buck’ than it was anything else—Buck was a weird dude, sure, but he was acting jumpy and weird all fucking day today. Even in the moments when they were out on call, and Buck was in the zone, he still felt a little… off.

It was like there was a fucking satellite delay between them, and there had been all day. Eddie usually prided himself on being able to read a room, but today, it was like Buck was intentionally throwing walls his way.

Not that he was that attuned to Buck’s everyday emotions and mood, anyway. Nope. Definitely not.

…

fuck.

sent: Why don’t you come down here and do a few reps with me? Burn off some of that energy.

sent: Oh, wait, that isn’t an option for you yet. How sad.

buck fifty: look its not my fault that you happened to finish your chores earlier and i didnt

sent: …Buck, that is 100% your own fault. Are you good today? You’re weirding me out.

“Hello, 118! Did someone order a chef?” Eddie looked up as he heard Athena’s voice echo throughout the station, a smile on his face as he waved over to her. He loved the way that she had fit together with the station so well, and how she and Bobby got along as well as they did (even if he felt like he had to pay for it whenever Hen shot him a knowing look, less and less subtle with each passing day… okay, month), but he loved even more that she usually brought food, especially now, in what Eddie sincerely hoped would be a new tradition — Christmas dinner with his work family.

Make no mistake, Bobby’s cooking was phenomenal, but there was something about Athena’s family style everything that settled right in Eddie’s soul.

Maybe it was because she had the uncanny knack at seeing through his bullshit and calling him on anything and everything that he tried to pull when she was around, in a way that was both kind and hilariously firm.

Or maybe it was because she actually understood how to make a decent tex-mex meal.

Either way.

“Eddie, where’s our boys?”

Eddie looked up as Athena closed the distance to his machine in the gym, smiling as he did another rep. “Hey Athena. Buck’s cleaning up the kitchen, getting ready for you and Bobby.” he said easily, his legs giving a little wobble as he realized what he had said, eyes snapping to her easily. “Uh, I mean—“

“Diaz, please, we both know that was who I was talking about.” Athena said, cutting him off before he could answer, the knowing smile on her face making Eddie wish the ground would open him up and swallow him whole, but apparently LA was fresh out of earthquakes for the moment. Thankfully, Athena took some pity on him, keeping the conversation moving easily as she looked around the station. “I see he got a hold of the decorations. Good, the place looked too… clean before.” she said, and Eddie laughed even as his face flushed red, swinging his legs off the machine, the familiar burn in his thighs anchoring him in the moment. “Yeah, it really did. Buck said it looked like a Pottery Barn threw up.”

Eddie shook his head as Athena laughed, that same smile on her face again, but it was different now—easy, familiar, like she was seeing the answer to a puzzle that Eddie only had half the pieces to. “He’s a good man, Eddie. Both of you are. It’s just such a shame neither of you would know what healthy communication was if it bit you in the ass.” She said, shaking her head dramatically as she started up the stairs, leaving a completely baffled Eddie to grab his phone off of the machine as it buzzed again.

What the hell was she talking about? He and Buck communicated all the time.

buck fifty: ok now you have to help me

buck fifty: if athena and bobby are going to be in the kitchen together im going to wind up drowning in mushy

sent: How is that my problem? And don’t think you got by avoiding my other question.

buck fifty: eddie plz

sent: Use your words, Buck.

buck fifty: u gotta get up here and save me

sent: Have you cleaned out the oven yet?

buck fifty: ………

buck fifty: save me by helping me clean the oven

Okay, Eddie may have already lost the fight, but—

buck fifty: pleeeeeeeeeease

—but that didn’t mean he had to admit how wrapped around Buck’s pinky he was. He could still whine about it, he could still complain about it, he could still bring this up the next time he and Buck argued about who’s turn it was to go and answer the door when they ordered takeout. Cleaning the oven, that was absolutely something he could hold over Buck forever.

He made a quick detour to the locker room to change out of his gym clothes as he heard Athena greet the boys upstairs, his own smile begrudgingly pasted on as he remembered what Athena had said.

His boy. She had called Buck his boy.

It was… well, it was nice to dream.

He was basically floating on air as he made his way up the stairs, to the point where he almost walked straight until Bobby’s chest from where he stood at the top of the stairs. He let out a very masculine noise as he jumped back, nearly dropping his phone as Bobby clucked his tongue.

“Nope, Eddie, you know the rules. You and your black thumb need to stay far from the kitchen while we’re cooking.”

Eddie tried to sputter out a protest even as Athena laughed from her position near the fridge, unloading what looked like an actual mountain of groceries. “Come on Bobby, I’m sure he can’t be that bad—“

“He’s burned pasta, Athena.”

“That was one time!”

Eddie felt his face heat up as Buck immediately came to his defense, equal parts pleased and perturbed, as Bobby shook his head. “Not taking that chance, kid. Especially not while Athena is armed with two whole hams. Come on, go downstairs, shower up, and then we can find a way for you to help get ready for dinner that keeps you far away from the kitchen.”

“Cmon, Bobby—“

“Buck, you can clean the oven on your own. Now let’s go, we all got work to do.”

Eddie felt his mouth snap shut as Bobby dismissed him—not unkindly, nothing that Eddie hadn’t heard before, but the way that Buck was looking over at them was nothing short of tragic. He hadn’t seen Buck look that defeated since their run in at the grocery store in the midst of the lawsuit-that-they-didn’t-talk-about-seriously-Buck-we-both-apologized-it’s-fine.

Eddie’s brain continued to churn as he showered, nearly drowning himself beneath the scalding hot water as he tried to understand what the fuck was going on.

Buck had been acting weird. Which, honestly, wasn’t that unusual for Buck. Buck was a good man. He had his heart on his sleeve, like, constantly. He was happy when he was happy, he was sad when he was sad, and there was no hiding it when he was down.

And now, somehow, Eddie was bringing him down.

Or… when Eddie really thought about it, the lack of Eddie was bringing him down…

Eddie didn’t get to spend time with Buck, and Buck looked like someone had just stamped out his dreams.

And that… that was interesting.

The last piece of the puzzle finally sank into place as he toweled off his hair and stepped out of the locker room, right in time to hear Athena’s laugh ring through the station. He looked up to the loft in time to see Bobby dipping her into a kiss, but that wasn’t where his eyes focused—no, they were instead focusing on something red and green. Something red and green and small and something that was definitely not there before Buck started his redecorations this morning, hanging in front of the oven.

The oven that he was supposed to help Buck clean.

Eddie felt his eyes narrow as he looked around the station, trying to retrace his steps throughout the station from the moment he walked in that morning. The utility closet… the recreation area… and back to the kitchen again.

He felt a small smile, in spite of himself, spread across his face, something dangerously close to hope blooming in his chest. Fate seemed to smile on him as Hen and Chim pulled back into the firehouse bay, and he took the opportunity to smack Hen’s arm as she walked past him.

“Ow, Eddie, what the f—“

“I’m gonna risk it, Hen.” Eddie said, effectively cutting her off, knowing that she would pick up on what he meant immediately. “But I need some help. You got a minute?”

“Buckaroo, will you take these plates down to the table? Here, bring Eddie some silverware.”

“Yeah, no problem Chim.”

Eddie elbowed Hen away from him as Buck started down the stairs, trying his best to act like he was doing anything but listening up the stairs. He and Hen had been busy setting up the table (and a few other things) while Chim was assigned on running interference upstairs, which turned out to be the easiest job of all while Buck… well, while Buck moped.

Eddie hated Buck moping. Almost as much as he hated how cute he thought it was, now that he knew what Buck was up to.

Or, at least, he thought he knew what Buck was up to. He was still painfully aware of how wrong this could all go—maybe it was the magic of the season, maybe it was a year in the making, maybe it was Hen egging him on, but Eddie…

Eddie actually felt like he could do this.

Even if it meant that he had to play completely oblivious in the meantime.

“Alright, Buck,” Eddie started, taking the stack of plates out of Buck’s hand, somehow fighting the smile as Buck handed them over, “what’s wrong? You’ve been acting weird all day.”

Buck grumbled as he tugged at the corner of the table cloth, straightening out a few placemats as he shrugged. “Nothing, Eds, I’m fine. Just a weird day, I guess. Dinner should be good, though!” Buck said, hiking a smile up onto his face. Eddie did his best to hide a little laugh as he nodded to Hen, who had slipped into the cab of the ladder truck.

“Buck, come on. I’ve known you for years, you’re not fine. Weird, yes. Fine, no.”

Buck stuck out his tongue as he started to dole out forks and knives, the little lighthearted gesture doing something to ease the worry that Eddie felt at the base of his spine, but he could still see the tension coiled through his best friends shoulders.

“Seriously, Buck, I—“

“It’s fine, Eddie! I just…” Buck’s shoulder slumped as he started to deflate, the harsh tone of his voice giving way as his face flushed. Setting the last fork down, he started to pace in earnest, speaking with his hands as much as he was with his voice. “I just had a certain thought about how things might go this year, and fate, or destiny, or whatever, has made it very clear that’s not going to be how it goes. I dunno, I thought I could make things… different, or special or whatever?” he started, and Eddie seriously had to swallow the words that were threatening to spill over his lips.

Buck wanted to make things special. Buck wanted to make things special. For him. Like Buck didn’t do that kind of thing every day simply by existing.

“Anyway, it doesn’t matter, you don’t have to worry about it.” Buck sighed as he put the last fork down and started pacing at the head of the table, and Eddie had to make sure his voice wasn’t going to waver when he spoke again.

“It still can be special, Buck—“

“Eds, it’s whatever. It was stupid anyway.”

“Buck.”

“No, Eddie, it’s okay, I shouldn’t have—“

“Buck. Stop. Breathe.”

Eddie grabbed both of Buck’s shoulders to stop him from pacing, raising his eyebrows as Buck finally made eye contact with him.

“Are you breathing? Okay. Great. Good. Now look up.”

“Eds, what are you talking about?”

“Buck, for the love of God, listen to me for once in your life and just look up.”

Eddie took a moment to savor the complete confusion written on Buck’s face as he finally comprehended what Eddie was asking (with a murmured complaint of “I always listen to you”), and Eddie let his eyes lock on to Buck’s face. Mostly because he wanted to see Buck’s reaction, but partially because he was afraid of what said reaction would be. Even if Buck was seeing the mistletoe above them for the first time, that Eddie had painstakingly tied to the top rung of the ladder that Hen had extended over the table from the truck, this was the moment of truth—and Eddie already knew what was up there.

Besides, Buck was a much better view than some green garnish.

“That’s, uhm.” Buck started, and Eddie finally gave up trying to keep the smile off his face. “That’s mistletoe.”

Eddie hummed thoughtfully as Buck looked back to him, “It is. I pulled some from the kitchen, found a sprig near the rec room, one from the utility closet…”

Buck actually had the decency to look surprised as he looked back to Eddie, literal stars in his eyes. “And you… put them together. And tied them to the ladder, and… got me to stand under it with you.” Buck continued, slowly, and Eddie gave a little chuckle as he nodded his head, taking a step closer. “I did. I mean, unless I’m misreading this entire situation, in which case I have no idea what you’re talking about, and if that’s the case, I’m going to go dig a hole out back and throw myself—mmhph.”

Eddie was more thankful than anything when Buck took the step forward to close the distance between them before he could start rambling, one hand on Eddie’s jaw to tilt it up (god he loved that Buck was taller than he was), the other warm and heavy on his hip (god, he loved Buck’s strong hands), lips slotting together with an ease that Eddie had never experienced with a first kiss before (god, he loved kissing Buck).

He also loved Hen and Chim, because no sooner did Chim hit the switch near the bay doors to dim the lights around the ladder truck did Hen manage to restart Buck’s Christmas playlist, Irving Berlin’s voice crooning about a white Christmas over the station speakers as Eddie’s arms wrapped around Buck’s neck.

When they finally pulled back to breathe, Eddie found himself tiptoeing up to chase Buck’s lips, his face flushing bright red afterward when he realized what he had done. They both started laughing as Buck’s hands dropped down to Eddie’s waist, Eddie following suit and letting his hands rest on Buck’s shoulders, fitting together in a way that Eddie had only imagined.

“So… I guess the mistletoe worked out for you in the end.” Eddie said with a smile, and Buck laughed, shaking his head, that beautiful ruddy color staining his cheeks again. “Eds, I, uh… I’ve kind of been working up the courage to do something like this for weeks.” He said sheepishly, and Eddie couldn’t help but laugh, smacking Buck’s shoulder.

“Weeks? To think, you still had months to go before you were anywhere close to my level.” Eddie said as he pulled away, sighing as he smoothed over Buck’s collar, a smile on his face as he turned and left a stunned Buck in his wake.

“Wait, Eddie, what?”

Eddie shook his head as he walked back into the locker room, Buck following suit shortly after.

“Eds, no, wait! How long did I pine without needing to?? Eddie!!”

#911giftexchange #buddie #911 #evan buckley #eddie diaz #idiots in love #mutual pining #first kiss #fluff #christmas #merry crisis!#flospeaks

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madamewriterofwrongs · 4 years ago

Text

May and the Rainbow Kingdom

911/Buck & May

Written for @cirrius-akiyo who wanted a Buck & May friendship.

The station was unusually quiet when she walked through the front door. The trucks were still in their place, being polished and restocked by other crew members – most of whom paid her no mind or recognized her as the ‘captain’s kid’. She’d only been called that once, but she remembered the uneasy feeling and the sneer of the probationary officer’s voice. A well-practiced eyebrow raised, and her best customer service smile, ensured he never bothered her again.

Today she wasn’t here as the ‘captain’s kid’, she was here as a friend in need of help from another – older and wiser – friend. A glance at the ambulance missing from its usual station dampened her expectations slightly.

“Hey, May.” She looked up to see a familiar face waving at her from the loft and she jogged to meet him.

“Hey, Buck. I was hoping to talk to Hen, is she around?”

The blond-haired firefighter returned to his task of tidying the upper floor (the table smelt comfortingly of bleach and lemon so he was nearly done) while she knelt on the couch to watch him work.

“Sorry; she just left on a call with Chim and Bobby. Is there anything I can help you with?”

She tried to keep the dejected sigh from her voice. “How versed are you on Bioethics of Non-Existence?”

It was almost comical, the way Buck paused in his sweeping to take in her question. “I definitely recognize some of those words.”

As she suspected; May turned to collapse onto the couch with a groan. “I really needed to talk to Hen.” Not that she didn’t trust the other adults in her life – Maddie had tried to help, but she’d been out of Medicine for too long – Hen was her last hope.

“School going that well, huh?” She didn’t have to look to hear the amusement in the man’s voice.

“It’s actually pretty good.” She admitted, still slumped half-off the couch. “I just have mt midterm on Friday and I really need someone who can test me on this stuff.”

“I’m sure you’ve got a handle on it. You were always a smart kid.”

May did smile at that. It was easier to accept being called a child from someone who actually knew her as a child. Granted, she and Buck weren’t overly close, but he was always nice to her, and Bobby seemed fond of him.

“I’ve studied this stuff over and over but I just don’t feel ready” she admitted to the ceiling. Maybe Buck should clean those rafters (he was certainly tall enough). Better yet, maybe she could do it. “I either need a distraction or another month of review.”

Maybe if she hid out at the station, she could lie to her professor and say she had a medical emergency. Or maybe, she could convince him to let her take her exam tomorrow and put her out of her misery. She hated the waiting game. The more she reviewed the material, the less secure she felt in her knowledge. It just needed to be over and done with so she could start stressing about the next thing. Her English essay was due next week. It could use a third rewrite.

“I don’t know about the review.” Visions of Buck peering over top of her, pulled May out of her spiral. “But if you’re in need of a distraction, I could use a co-babysitter tonight. I’m watching Christopher while Eddie’s out on a date and I’m sure he’d love to hang out with you.”

An evening spent with her stepdad’s friend, and her stepdad’s other friend’s son was not exactly what she had in mind for a Monday night, but it was better than nothing. Besides, she liked Christopher well enough; he was a cute kid with a sensible head on his shoulders. And Buck was nice – if a little bit accident-prone for the amount of times she’d visited him in the hospital – plus it was an excuse to get out of her routine for a few hours. Maybe she could come early and ask Eddie some questions (an army medic had to have some thoughts on ethics in medicine, right?).

“Sure,” she smiled up at him. “why not?”

Which was how May found herself squished between a surprisingly calm 10-year-old, and an overly-energetic 29-year-old, splitting the difference as she scrolled through their Netflix Kids’ queue.

Christopher had insisted that they didn’t need to use the kid’s channel as he was absolutely old enough to handle all the scary movies. She remembered Harry, not too long ago, with the same attitude (along with the same nightmare he’d had for weeks about a clown in a sewer). While Buck didn’t have the same experience, he was with her decision to stick to the lighter stuff for tonight. Perhaps he was being overly cautious as he always was with the boy.

Everyone in their circle knew about how Buck had saved Christopher during the tsunami and how close the three of them had become afterwards. It was no wonder he wanted to do everything in his power to protect him – even from the CGI monsters.

As they continued to scroll, she paused on their ‘Continue Watching’ bar, to see if there was anything they wanted pick up. She wasn’t about to watch whatever they chose for their post-dinner treat; she had her textbook and laptop in her bag all charged up.

Just as she was about to continue the search for the perfect movie, her eye caught one of the titles with a half-full red bar and shot a confused glance to Buck. The man kept his eyes purposefully trained on the screen, eyes darting to hers once, as a sign that he knew what she was looking at. Still, he showed no sign of explaining himself so she moved on. For now.

They ended up settling on one of the dinosaur documentary movies, but May kept her promise to herself and reviewed through the entire 90-minute event. It was easy enough to tune out, the graphics were fine, the story was predictable, but at least the boys on either side seemed to be enjoying themselves. Every once in a while, Buck would elbow her to pull her attention back to the screen but it never held her interest for more than a few minutes. Then Christopher would do the same, asking her questions or feeding her facts about the various dinosaurs. That did help for a little while, but even that kid’s endless enthusiasm couldn’t keep back the voice in her head that told her she should be studying.

As far distractions went, this night seemed to be a bust.

When she heard the water run in the bathroom, signally the beginning of Christopher’s bedtime routine, May found herself reaching for the remote once again; if only to keep her hands occupied while she waited to say goodbye to Buck. The least she could do was thank him for his attempt to distract her – even if it had failed.

That was when she found the ‘Continue Watching’ bar once again, and her curiosity got the better of her.

“What’s True and the Rainbow Kingdom?” she asked once her companion had returned. “’Cause it doesn’t seem like something Christopher would be into.”

Buck huffed as he flopped on the couch next to her. “Okay,” he began his confession by raising his hands in surrender. “I watched an episode to see if it was something that’d be appropriate for Nia, but I kind of started watching it on my own.”

“Really?”

“Yes, really” he matched her mocking tone. “Not all the time. But I’ll admit, when I’m having a bad day, it’s nice to turn my brain off with some mindless fun.”

She wasn’t laughing at him – maybe she was, but she wouldn’t tell him that – it was that the image of this grown man, sitting at home, watching what was clearly a Sophia the First carbon copy (if the design was to be believed), was very amusing to her.

“Wow, I see how it is.” Buck lightly pushed May as she shuffled over to create more space. “I try and help and instead you mock me. Very nice.”

Even as a joke, she saw his point and the laughter turned into a smile, which morphed into an eyeroll.

“You’ve got to admit, this doesn’t exactly fit your image.”

“I have no image” he protested. “I’m allowed to like whatever I like.”

“So, you wouldn’t mind if I text my mom that” she had barely begun picking up her phone from the coffee table, when he reached the device first.

“Don’t you dare.” More laughter did make her heart feel a little lighter.

He only handed her phone back once she’d half-heartedly agreed not to text her mom this fresh blackmail material. “I bet you’d like it. It’s about a girl and a cat, and she gets these wishes from a tree, and she uses them to help others.”

“The cat gets wishes?”

“Just” Buck rolled his eyes, grabbing the remote from the cushion between them. “we’re going to watch it right now.”

Without waiting for her response, Buck tapped the first episode and shushed her failed attempt to protest.

The first scene introduced a reasonably catchy theme song with bright colours, along with the main character True and her talking black cat named Bartleby. There was something about a party and a bitchy princess and a weird walking pill they called…something Banjo? Admittedly, when the cat said something sarcastic towards the girls, she cracked a smile, but her mind was still reviewing the differences between Potter’s and Callahan’s philosophies.

The next time she tuned back into the episode, they were sitting on mushroom stools under a tree, attempting to solve a problem as a group. When they took a deep breath, May found herself exhaling with them, and her forehead ached from holding tension for so long. Admittedly, it felt nice to relax her shoulders.

Okay, so this was clearly a kids’ show and nothing else. Mining wishes from a tree and using a book to decipher what all the wishes could do, as though they were Pokémon characters. It was ridiculous, why was she still watching this? She needed to get home to study.

“Sure, they get to use the ‘wishopedia’ but my professor won’t let me use Wikipedia as a starting source?” she grumbled under her breath.

“What was that?” She startled when Buck smirked at her.

May tucked back into the arm of the couch with a half-hearted glare. “Nothing.”

She really should be reviewing. The more time she wasted outside of the classroom, the worse her chances of success. She shouldn’t be wasting her time watching this kids’ monstrosity. This really was a stupid show. Why would True forgive Grizelda after she was such a bitch to Bingo-Bango? She was always so positive and patient. And she only used her special powers to help people. That was pretty nice.

That theme song was pretty catchy.

Before she knew it, she was four episodes in, watching two mushroom people win a motor race after everyone got detoured by falling crystals and Grizelda being a bitch (again).

“She should just toss the Cu-Bigly over the cliff and then throw Grizelda.” At Buck’s look of amused indignation, she shrugged. “What? She deserves it for sabotaging the race. It’s not like she’d die from that height.”

A quick glance at her phone told her it was after ten and she had a class in the morning. What astonished her most, was that she hadn’t thought about her course work in an hour. For the first time since starting university, she’d let herself escape her thoughts just for a little while; and honestly, she felt lighter for it.

Still unbelievably guilty for not spending every waking moment of her life preparing for her next test or assignment – but just a little bit lighter.

“Hey, Buck?” She turned to the man barely hiding the fact that he’d begun to doze off. May smirked when he awoke with a snort. “Thanks for your help, I really needed this.”

For a moment, she saw the ‘puppy dog’ that her mom liked to call him: the puffed chest and kind smile and excited eyes. She saw what won over her, somewhat cynical, mother; it made her smile brighter.

“Glad I could help.”

Buck was scrolling mindlessly through his phone two weeks later, when it buzzed with a new text notification, and his mood instantly improved.

87%

Also I may have finished the first season of TatRK

I totally ship True and Zee

Do you want me to wait for you to catch up?

“Hey, May passed her Bioethics Mid-Term” he announced to his friends sitting in the loft; the rest, he would keep as his own reward for a job well done.

Bobby looked up from his usual place in the kitchen, buttering a pan for some dish most of them wouldn’t get to eat. “Since when did May start telling you about her exam results?”

There was no honest answer that wouldn’t make him feel embarrassed, but Buck blushed regardless. “I, uh, helped her study.”

Eddie slapped his shoulder jovially as he passed on his way to grab a bottle of water. “Is there something you want to tell us? You have a secret Bioethics degree?”

Buck brushed him off with a smile. “No, but you do what you can to help out family, right?”

His eyes met with his Captain’s and there was a fondness he only saw with May and Harry. Something he hadn’t seen for himself in a long while.

“Yeah, kid, you do.”

#cj writes things #911 fox #911 fic #evan buckley #may grant #true and the rainbow kingdom #fire fam #friendship #cirrius-akyio

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heli0s-writes · 5 years ago

Text

As it Was II: His Girl

Summary: You haven’t always been his girl. Pairing: Steve x Reader, Bucky x Reader A/N: ANGST! Thank you for all the feedback and love! As it Was will be a 3 part series. Part 2 is told from Bucky’s perspective. See you next time for Part 3 :)

It’s always relief that washes over him first when he pulls into the road, seeing the house the same as when he left. The pinwheels, the mailbox, the swing you shove him into even though you know he doesn’t fit.

His playful girl with a stubborn streak.

It’s been two weeks without his girl and his home. He’s been on longer missions, but two weeks is two weeks too long, just as they all are.

The second emotion he feels is anticipation. Excitement for the embrace he’ll give and receive. The kisses, the fingers through his hair, the knowledge that you will be rushing downstairs and into his arms.

Sundown arrives late in the evening when summertime’s daylight spans nearly fifteen hours in the heat of June. The meadow buzzes alive in the breeze, ruffling winged insects through the tufts of wild grass and blown dandelions. His boots tread through the path, startling the idyllic soil beneath them.

There are no footsteps to herald his return, today; Bucky comes home to your back in front of the kitchen window. The door creaks open as he steps in, duffel bag in tow. He always imagines he would surprise you after these long trips, but that damn door and its loud hinges will never allow him the chance.

“Darlin’?” He calls, pushing it shut gently with his foot, “You alright?”

You turn, chin tucked into the hollow space of your collarbone and shoulder. The loosened braid of your hair sways over your spine, saffron half-wilted blossoms of Black-Eyed Susans gazing at him sadly.

The setting sun scatters against the window, streams through those sheer embroidered curtains you love so much, even though he says baby, they don’t do anything. His stubborn girl scoffs and fluffs then anyway.

He’s glad for those useless curtains now as the light illuminates your side profile. The corona of your shape from across the house makes him sigh in wonder.

His girl, wrapped in floating cream gauze. His girl, standing by the sink with oranges. His girl, soft and beautiful and bright, waiting for him.

You haven’t always been soft.

You haven’t always been his girl.

He knows something is wrong when you remain immobile, clutching the edge of the counter, abandoned cup of hand-squeezed juice and the carcasses of two halves next to the reamer.

“Honey? I’m coming over to you. Stay right there.”

You collapse in his arms before he gets the chance to lock them around. You smell crisp and clean, just a little briny with sweat from time spent outside. The jars on the counter and table are full again, this time accented with plucked sprigs of lavender and a small cattail from the pond.

“Oh, Buck,” You press your face into his shoulder, scrubbing your brow on the rough fabric of his jacket, “I love you.”

“Love you too.” He pauses, fingers prodding lightly over your body, searching for some physical aspect that might explain your ailment. Nothing. You hold tighter to him, letting your weight press down, and he supports you easily, nose rubbing the exposed skin of your neck.

“Where’s our little guy?”

“He’s sleeping. He chased ducks and then they chased him. Planted completely in mud. Bath time was… exhausting.”

Both of you chuckle at that. Little James, that precious boy had a rowdy streak in him, always too eager to rile something up— sometimes even his mother.

The laughter subsides as he continues to rub your back, waiting patiently for the other shoe to drop. Your heartache seeps into him, dampens his eyes and mouth, licking its way into his belly.

This happens, sometimes, because it’s bound to. The grief comes and goes, and when it arrives hard and grim, he cradles you in his arms regardless of how much he wishes his love is enough to keep you happy.

Today seems to be one of those days.

And it’s because you haven’t always been his girl.

He used to worry himself to sleep, straining to see your outline in the deep darkness of the bedroom. The house, sheltered by tree and leaves, lies so far away from the city that on a moonless night, he felt lost in a sea of ink.

The house once belonged to someone else. His place in the bed, too. The impression of a body larger than him, grander than him, a body you loved more than him. It would cradle him in its unsympathetic crease, and he would lie awake, listen to your deep breaths, soothe your nightmare sobbing, call your name when you would stutter Steve.

Steve. Steve. Steve.

The shadow that had hung over you both.

Steve was always ‘til the end of the line, until he wasn’t.

He wasn’t for Bucky, and he wasn’t for you.

Bucky had come back into the world five years later, found you and Steve elbow deep in the trenches of alien bodies and death—watched a love that had bloomed so fully continue to thrive, and it gave him hope.

Hope for himself, hope for the next day. Until it just… wasn’t.

Steve left Bucky, and Steve left you.

The cabin that evening had been illuminated by a single campfire in the front yard. The smell of burning objects and scorched kindling coaxed him forward. In front of the blaze, you stood, hair fixed into a tight knot. That shaved side he always liked glowed orange and red diagonal lines.

You knew, of course, way before he even arrived. You were always the quickest of them— alert, perched, could give Clint’s arrows a run for his money.

Hey.

He had never heard that gravel in your voice before.

In the flames were photographs, corners eaten away and twisted with heat until they turned black. Clothes, bed sheets, books, even the sketchbook— that old, leather-bound thing Steve always kept close to his chest. You had thrown them all in.

Wanna roast some marshmallows? Let’s get fat on sugar and chocolate. The world is safe.

A spark crackled in the fire the same time your voice did, but Bucky closed his eyes. Let you regain your composure because he knew you wouldn’t have wanted him to see you cry. Your voice was strained, full of resentment.

Everyone’s gone back to where they should be.

He smiled, lopsided and broken.

Not me. I’m here eatin’ marshmallows with you.

And then, joylessly, you had pointed to the dwindling pile of Steve’s fossils strewn about.

Throw some shit in. It feels good.

Your hand links itself inside of his as you tug him out of the kitchen and towards the living room couch. You place the glass into his palm, watch him drink the juice and kiss the corner of his mouth where a droplet remains. He loves it when you’re sweet, told you once it’s his favorite thing about you—that you can rot his teeth and hurt his stomach and he’ll still come back for seconds.

Thirds. Fourths. You scoffed, fixed on the anecdote of food, your appetite will bankrupt us.

He agreed then, kept the joke running.

“What is it?” Bucky’s hand finds your jaw, lifts it gently until he can see your eyes crawling with veins and lined in red, puffed, swollen. Crying again. “What is it, hon?”

Since James, you’ve started crying a million times more than he ever thought a person could—when he gets a fever, you cry. When he falls, you cry. He thinks it’s ridiculous, that you—his girl who can stab a man better even than he can—that when James cries, you cry. Darling, he is two and he will cry because a leaf dropped.

But you haven’t cried like this in months, almost a year—not like this, not split open and prolonged.

Bucky heart swells with dread when he thinks about why your face is raw with rubbing. “Is it?”

“Yeah.” You mutter, “Steve… he’s back. Stopped by earlier.”

His tongue feels like lead, sinking into his throat to strangle him. He hadn’t heard Steve’s name from your mouth in almost a year. The world had turned and turned without Steve Rogers, and when it seemed like both of you might have finally let go of the ghost, he comes back.

Where does Bucky start?

His girl, burrowed into his chest, tucked away in his arms, hides her face now. His girl, will she still be his girl?

It was only a few years ago that a new love sprung from the ashes of a dying one. And the corpse had lived a long life, full of memories that haunted you both. Bucky and Steve had quite a long life together, too.

He clutches tighter, rubs his arms up and down yours, squeezes like he is hoping you might just sink into his chest. Stay safe inside of him where the pain can’t find you anymore.

“Can we go to bed?” You sob suddenly, shaking in his hold, “Please let’s go to bed.”

He hated that bed for so long.

You used to lie in it for days at a time. He would come by and you would be upstairs in the loft on your side and staring out the window. Hey, Buck. The whole house smelled like earth and salt, as if you had flooded the wood with tears and it was still drying out.

Have you eaten? Have you slept? Have you done anything?

You only laughed dryly and burrowed deeper into the brand-new sheets, like everything else that used to be shared between two people. Do what? Go where? Sleep to dream of him? No, thank you.

Bucky had stomped downstairs, rummaged through the cabinets, found the half open bag of marshmallows from three weeks ago- stale and slightly stiff, and shoved handfuls of it into your mouth. You said we’d get fat on sugar. You better fucking eat this.

When both your cheeks were full and the sad tears turned into happy ones, he sat back with his arms crossed at the edge of the bed and huffed. And you’d spit the enormous, drenched, sticky pile out down your shirt and held your head in both your hands. I’m so fucked, Bucky. I’m screwed. I’m fucking screwed.

He didn’t know what you meant, because he was grieving too, but that string of panicked statements rang a thought more desperate than any he could have. Bucky didn’t feel fucked without Steve. Bucky felt… discarded. He felt… abandoned, forgotten, small. But he didn’t feel fucked.

It took two more visits, two more weeks, and an extraordinarily rainy night before you told him the truth.

There was shattered glass against the wall and your body slumped down on the opposite side of the kitchen. There was wracked sobbing, fingernails digging into your scalp and shoulder until he peeled them away pricked in red. Two months had passed, and you were pregnant. Did Steve know? Did you tell him? He would have stayed, if he knew.

Bucky had suddenly grown hopeful for a past that already passed. Steve would have stayed. Did the chance slip from you, to tell him? Did you know too late?

I had just found out. But then he told me his news first and … fuck him. Fuck him for leaving. Why would I tell him? So he could stay for a clump of cells and not me? So he could love an obligation and pine for a ghost? Fuck him.

And then suddenly, the clawing resumed, and Bucky wrestled to keep your hands away from your body, wrapping his legs over yours, holding you tight until your squirming died. He pressed his chin to the top of your head, gripped your back to his chest, and you both rocked on the floor. It’s gonna be okay. I got you. I’m here with you.

It rained the night you told him. It rained again when the boy arrived.

Nine months you carried him inside of you, hated him, hated his father, hated yourself.

Helen came to the cabin, because you couldn’t be bothered to leave. You were happy to die in labor, you had said with a grin. Bucky stood by her side, mouth set in a firm line and told you to shut the fuck up.

At that, you genuinely laughed so hard you had to cover your entire face with your hands and when you pulled them away, suddenly, Bucky thought that the glow some women get when they’re pregnant must have been twice as true for you.

The boy came with a clap of thunder.

Bucky had known carnage, but the birth was terrible and horrific and when you went pale with the loss, he swore that if you got what you wanted, he would die with you. Helen yelled at him to get the water, get the rags, and the bucket, and the needle. Wash the boy, wrap him, hustle, Sergeant!

The bundle thrust into his arms was softer than sand, wetter than water, crimson and sluiced with blood. Two blue eyes gleamed out of the swath of blanket and even though people say newborns are beautiful, he could only see a red and angry thing, tearing the life from you with the eyes of his old best friend.

Now his old best friend has returned for his old girl and his new baby boy.

And Bucky’s girl is still in his arms, pleading for him to let her rest.

“Okay, darlin’, let me clean up first. I’ll tuck you in.”

You grip his collar and tangle your hands in his hair, clambering to get into his lap. The skirt of your dress folds over all four entwined legs and you suddenly press your mouth to his in a blistering kiss.

“Let’s make a baby,” you sob distraughtly. “W-we… I-I want to make a baby with you, Bucky.”

He quiets your rambling, stills his own heartbreak for the sake of attending to yours, and returns your fever with softness.

“We’ve got one, hon’. He’s in bed.” He presses his forehead against yours and smiles, tries to make it look real so that you believe him, “Baby, we got a boy and he’s wonderful, even if he makes his mama chase him through mud.”

He loves that boy. He loves him like his own flesh and blood, and he’ll be damned if Steve thinks he can take him away.

Upstairs, a whine signals your attention, followed by a sound of choked crying before the wail of your son breaks loose. “C’mon,” Bucky urges.

He climbs slowly, waiting for you each step of the way. You linger, feet heavy along with your heart. By the time you make it through the doorway, Bucky already has James in his arms, rubbing his back, humming to him.

The boy fists Bucky’s hair, squeezing a handful in pulses, blubbering and singing a tuneless song. “Daddy’s home. Daddy, daddy. Sunnyshine outside.”

Bucky laughs, “James, it’s nighttime.” He kisses the top of James’ head anyway, “Can’t blame you, though, you’re too small to see out the window. We gotta teach you how to tell time.”

“Time t’ play?”

“No… time to go back to sleep.” Then, Bucky puts his head on top of James’ and pretends to snore loudly, the sound vibrating from his chest and into those golden locks. A shrill giggle escapes him and he pulls away just to come back and press his cheeks to his father’s face.

Bucky walks over to where you stand with your eyes pressed to the heel of your palms and tilts James up to your face. “Mama’s tired too, let’s all go to bed, yeah?”

Blessedly, the boy relents. He reaches over almost teetering out of Bucky’s arms and pulls on the thumb by your ear. “Night mama, love you.”

On the edge of the bed, the old imprint has been pressed out. Bucky takes off his shoes, stretches his back and motions for you to come next to him. He kisses your fingertips and brushes the hair from your face, combs out the wilted wildflowers and you lean into his touch.

It’s been silent since James fell asleep. He can hear crickets and cicadas outside the window, woodland creatures coming alive in the twilight.

He watches the way your lips bend and fold inside your mouth to keep yourself locked away.

Sometimes your love is hidden inside a puzzle his hands are too clumsy to place together. There are pieces missing, he thinks, but still, he tries. Sometimes you blissfully help him with the task and sometimes you’re away from the table.

Tonight, you’re far from him. Lost somewhere in the memory and possibility of two hands many times more delicate than his.

Steve. Steve. Steve.

And he wonders if your heart will ever beat his name like that old rhythm it had known so well.

Your weight dips the mattress, and you lean your head onto his shoulder. “I love you.”

He hears it, but he never really hears it.

Not in the way it used to leave your tongue. Stevie, I love you. You giant idiot! You meatball, Steve! Full of ringing laughter right before you would crush your mouth to his, tug him by the collar into the dark of Cap’s compound bedroom.

The only flames Bucky knew were shared in moments of desperation, when the pain was too much and the fire was necessary.

James tucked into his crib, you crumpled on the floor. Bucky would sit by your side night after night, as he had been doing for the last thirteen months. It was dark, then, not even illuminated by a moonbeam.

You held on to his shirt, pushed him down, pressed both your hands to his neck and whispered. Thank you. Thank you. I love you. I love you.

The first kiss shared was wet and salty, tears slipping into the space between two open mouths. Teeth clicked, nails scratched, and you wouldn’t even let him pull away enough to ask if you were sure about it.

He knew you were beautiful. Seen it for years and years. But when you slipped off the shirt from your shoulders, the moon seemed to shine right out from your skin.

He worried himself to sleep next to you that night.

“What do you want to do?” He asks now, pushing his fear away, “I’m here for you, whatever you want. Whatever is best.”

Your chin jabs his shoulder, “You are best. You are best for me, and James, and Bucky—d--” Tears roll down your cheeks, plop big, wet, crystal balls onto his arm. “Don’t you dare.”

For the second time that night, you crawl into his lap, straddle his waist, and his breath is punched out of his lungs in awe of your beauty. “I love you, idiot. Don’t ever say that to me again.”

“Alright, sweetheart,” he mumbles against your mouth, “I won’t.”

The flame burns tonight. You undress him with deft fingers, yanking his clothes, hissing when he pulls away to peel the shirt off— as if not touching him pains you. The dress stays on your waist, rucked up, its straps tugged down and the top pulled open to expose your chest—soft, heaving with love and agony.

Bucky. Bucky. I love you. I love you. I love you so much.

Desperate, again.

He’s not sure if you’re convincing him or yourself.

You tug his hair, grip his chest and back, kiss him until his head spins. The bed creaks softly, as if it doesn’t want to interrupt the sounds that your bodies create together.

He makes love to you, and even though he is bone tired from the mission and the drive, he doesn’t feel it until you tremble in his arms and slump against his chest. He doesn’t attend to himself until you’re underneath the covers, breathing deeply.

Then, Bucky lies down too, runs his hand through his hair and sobs into that inky night.

“Bucky?”

His heart stops beating in his chest. He’s frozen and caught.

You turn on your side, hand finding his damp cheek with some difficulty in the dark. “Baby,” you sigh, “Oh, Bucky...” A loud sniffle, a choke, and then your nose rubs against his. Your lips pat his tears away, kitten licks over the line of his sharp jaw.

“You’ve always been so good to me, baby. Always so good.”

He’s heard those words before from your lips, after the boy came with the rain. Your eyes had fluttered and closed as Helen leaned against the doorframe, tearing off her gloves.

She’s okay, Sergeant. She’s just resting. You should, too.

He refused her, watched the baby in the makeshift bassinet as Helen unpacked her overnight bag in the guest room. He wiped your forehead with a damp towel, listened to the rain crash against the window, and sat down in the chair.

The room was a closed chamber trapping in the smell of wet pennies and sweat. He tugged the windowpane open and placed towels on the floor to catch the downpour. You woke with a yelp, jerked awake by thunder and a streak of lightning. It was only for a second, but Bucky held onto your hand, let you slip back to sleep.

Helen roused you both in the morning, let you hold the baby, taught you how to turn him on his stomach, how to settle him down, how to nurse. Bucky had stood up, ready to dismiss himself before he caught your wide eyes, terrified of the life in your arms.

He stayed as Helen guided your hand to massage the boy’s cheek. Little fists clenched the slipped-off hem of your shirt, his mouth opened, and you cried when he latched on.

The rain had subsided in the late hours of the night and the sun was rising high, streaming luminously into the loft. Helen moved to draw the curtains and give you some reprieve from the rays, but Bucky stopped her; you needed the sun and its warmth.

She nodded and agreed, and he slowly went to the bed and kneeled, looking up into your red eyes soaking your face.

Hey. He had smiled, wiping the trickling streams, Look. He nodded to the illuminated window, bent finger stroking the boy wrapped in cloth. No more rain, darlin’, it’s sunny out.

Outside was gold. Like the boy’s head. And you thought, like Bucky’s heart.

You’re so good to me. You cried, even though he quietly asked you to stop, because if you didn’t, he would start, too. You’ve always been so good to me.

Nine agonizing months and Bucky Barnes had been your rock and center and lighthouse in the dark.

Bucky, I love you.

It was a sunny morning when he wept and held his little family in his arms.

#marvel #mcu #bucky barnes #bucky barnes x reader #steve rogers #steve rogers x reader #fanfic #fanfiction #reader insert #james buchanan barnes #steven grant rogers #as it was heli0s

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peculiaridealist · 4 years ago

Text

To My Dearest Kara

Summary:

Kara is anxious and Alex is giving her a push that she definitely need. Lena is overthinking and Maggie is... well... being Maggie.

Chapter 2: Yours Truly

Having James tell her to take the whole afternoon off when she about to get lunch, Kara decided to swing by Alex’s apartment before going to get food and eventually, to L-Corp. she needed her sister’s support and advice on how to approach Lena without freaking her out knowing that the brunette intended to keep the letter and wasn’t ready, yet.

“Hey, Alex. You home?” Kara called out as soon as she entered her sister’s loft.

“Here.” Alex said lazily, raising her hand and waved it at Kara. She was lying on the couch with some popcorn on her stomach. “I just finished watching a movie.”

“Don’t you have work?” Kara asked, wondering why her sister was like acting like she had all the time in the world.

“Nah. Don’t feel like getting up.” She stretched. “They’ll live without me barking orders at them for a day.”

“They’ll probably be so thankful for your absence.” Kara quipped.

“Hey!” Alex sat up and threw a cushion and hit the blonde square on the face. “I may be harsh on them but, they all love me and I deserve a break.”

“A break, huh. The end of the world must be near.” Kara continued teasing her sister to hide the shock that her workaholic sister was taking off work for a whole day. “Now, I’m just gonna wait for Lena to stop working without me having to drag her out of her office, as well.”

Alex laughed at Kara’s latter statement. “That would require for a miracle to happen.”

Kara paused for a moment, looking like she was mulling over what Alex had said then nodded with enthusiasm. “Yup, yup. Definitely.” She just then laughed and settled herself beside Alex and grabbed a handful of popcorn, earning a swat from her sister on her hand saying that she should go and make her own. She just stuck her tongue out and continued grabbing handful after handful of popcorn from Alex.

Giving up, Alex muttered. “You’re insufferable.”

“But you still love me.” Kara retorted.

“Says who?” Alex asked, raising her brow.

“Says you.” Kara answered with a wide grin.

“Yeah, yeah. I do love you so, shut up.” Alex chuckled. “Anyway, to what do I owe this visit?”

Kara was just silently staring at her which made her brow furrow. “Kara?” She called out but the blonde was still silent. “Kara, what’s wrong?” She nervously asked, her protective instincts taking over. “Answer me.”

Kara shrugged. “Well, you told me to shut up so I did.”

Alex looked at her sister incredulously. “You ass! You scared the shit out of me, I thought something was wrong.” She doesn’t know if she’ll smack Kara or laugh. “You don’t have to take everything literally.”

“I know. I just love teasing you every now and then.” Kara laughed again which made Alex groan.

A few more chuckles from Kara, the blonde puppy decided that it was enough and told sister what she really intended to do here.” “I found her… The one who wrote the letter.”

“Really?” Alex asked casually. “Who?”

“You won’t even react that it’s a her and not a him?” Now it was Kara’s turn to look at her sister incredulously.

“No.” Alex answered flatly. “And stop looking at me like I’ve grown a second head and just answer my question, Kara.”

“Fine.” Kara huffed. “It’s Lena.”

“Ha!” Alex exclaimed triumphantly, making Kara jump due to shock. “See? I told you!”

“Holy sun, Alex! Don’t do that! Are you trying to give me heart attack or something?” Kara reprimanded while clutching her chest. “And I’m pretty sure you never told me anything, by the way.”

“Sorry, not sorry.” Alex shrugged nonchalantly. “And I’m also pretty sure I dropped not-so-subtle hints before. I dropped a lot, actually.”

Kara wracked her brain, trying to remember when did her sister give hints but to no avail. She can’t remember where or when and frowned. “I really can’t remember you giving me any hints.”

Alex laughed. “It’s because you’re too dense to notice those hints. Hell, you didn’t even notice your own feelings up until now.”

Kara rolled her eyes good-naturedly. “Yeah, yeah, I’m dense, alright. No need to rub it on my face.”

Seconds of laughter later, Alex’s demeanor changed. “So, what are you planning to do?” She asked in all seriousness.

“Well… We’re going to have dinner tonight. Other than that? I don’t know. That’s why I’m here.” Kara sighed. “It’s just that, I want this to be perfect… I mean, she deserves more than anything and everything. I want her to feel that she’s well-loved. I want her to feel that she’s accepted. That no matter what the people think about her, whatever negativity that was thrown at her, it doesn’t matter because she’s something more to her, there’s more about her other than her being a Luthor.” Alex remained silent, letting Kara pour her feelings out without interrupting her.

“She’s special, Alex. She strives hard to be a force of good even if the people out there continued judging her because of her last name…” Kara trailed off.

“But?” Alex asked softly, encouraging her sister to continue.

“But, she’s only human, Alex. And us humans can only take so much and with her under that kind of pressure, I’m scared. I’m scared that I might freak her out. I’m scared that she may hate me for reading that letter. Her intention was to keep the letter. Not have me read it. What if she changed her mind? What if- what if…” Kara paused and took a deep breath to calm herself. She knows that she’s rambling and she can’t help it. “What if she doesn’t feel the same way anymore? Alex, what do I do? I- I…”

“Hey…” Alex slung her arm across Kara’s shoulder, giving her a sideway hug to comfort her rambling sister. “You’re overthinking, Kara. We’re talking about Lena here. Lena freaking Luthor. Your best friend and, I think it’s safe to say, your significant other. If there’s someone who loves you more than anything and anyone else,” Alex muttered ‘excluding me, of course’ and felt warmth on her chest when it elicited a giggle from Kara. “That someone is Lena.”

“You know, love is such a strong word.” Kara spoke with a voice just above whisper that if Alex wasn’t listening, she might have missed what her sister had said.

“Yeah… It is.” The older Danvers agreed. “And it’s stronger between the two of you because it’s true.”

Kara smiled, hope blossoming in her chest. “You really think she does? Love me, I mean. Because if you ask me if I love her, I do. I really do.”

“I don’t think she loves you, Kara. I know she does.” Alex gave Kara a light squeeze on the shoulder. “Though unfinished, the letter says it all.”

Kara glanced at her bag, knowing that the letter was secured inside of it. “I’m a walking anxiety.”

“Only when it comes to Lena.” Alex deadpanned and dragged her sister up. “And as much as I love having you here, I believe you told me that you have dinner plans, or shall I say a date, with the love of your life. I, on the other hand, have plans with Maggie tonight, as well, and will have a dinner date of our own.”

“It’s not a date.” Kara protested as her sister dragged her out of her apartment.

“Oh, it is a date. Enjoy!” Alex gave her a shit-eating grin before slamming the door on her face.

‘Did- did she just kicked me- me, her sister- out?’ Disbelief crossed Kara’s face as she stared at the door of her sister’s apartment before begrudgingly trudging out of the apartment building.

Once Alex was sure that her sister was gone, she whipped up her phone and called her girlfriend.

“Guess who was here.” She immediately said as soon as Maggie picked up.

“Hello to you, too, Danvers. I am doing fine, thank you so much for asking.” Maggie replied sarcastically.

“Sorry, babe.” Alex chuckled. “I was just kinda excited.”

“Oh? Alex Danvers getting excited that I wasn’t the cause?” Her girlfriend quipped. “Do tell.”

“Hmm… Promise me first that you won’t flip.”

“You know I flip at everything.”

“Okay, that’s fair enough. How to put it?” Alex mulled over her words, knowing that Maggie was definitely going to flip and just decided to just wing it. “Kara finally admitted that she’s in love with Lena.” Alex smirked even though she knows Maggie can’t see her.

“She what?!” Maggie practically screamed, making Alex’s smirk turn into a grin.

“Now, now. Don’t go breaking my eardrum before I even get my... winnings?”

“Goddammit.” Quiet as it may have been, she still heard what Maggie muttered on the other line.

“Oh, and I would also like to collect that fifty bucks later, thank you very much.” Alex said smugly.

“Oh, fuck you.” Maggie hissed.

“Oh, yes, please do.” Alex laughed causing Maggie to groan.

“Ugh… Why did I ever agree betting on Little Danvers’ love life with you?”

7:00 pm

With Chinese takeouts (including a box of salad and three of potstickers), Kara was pacing back and forth in front of Lena’s office. All the confidence that she felt awhile ago at CatCo seemed to have dissipated even after Alex had given her a peptalk. She was quite thankful that Jess had left earlier than usual so that no one will be able to force her to go inside Lena’s office. Not that she doesn’t want to, no.

After several more minutes of pacing, she tried to calm her nerves. ‘Okay, Kara. Deep breaths. You can do this. You got this.’

Building up courage and after releasing a small huff, she entered Lena’s office. As she entered, she saw a focused Lena typing on her laptop. Deciding not to interrupt as she found the brunette’s look quite (okay, not quite but, extremely) adorable, Kara leaned on the door frame as she silently watched Lena.

Wearing her corporate attire which Kara adored since the day they met, her hair wasn’t up in its usual bun but it’s cascading a little lower down her shoulders, beautiful green eyes fixed on her laptop screen, slender fingers delicately tapping away on her keyboard, and blood red lips pursed on concentration. ‘God, those lips, really.’

Kara whipped up her phone and composed a message.

Kara: Knock, knock.

Lena’s eyes drifted on her phone beside her laptop when it lit up and Kara swore that she had a mini heart attack when she saw Lena smile. A smile which she had caused and a smile that was reserved for her and her alone only.

Lena: Hmm… Who’s there?

Her phone pinged (kicking herself internally for forgetting to put it in silent mode, wanting to be smooth but of course, she was always an epic fail) and as if on cue, Lena’s enticing emerald gaze quickly found her sapphire ones. Kara was at a loss for words and felt like she was under a spell and it was the kind of spell that only Lena Luthor can cast upon her.

“Kara.” Lena stood up immediately, forgetting whatever work she was doing, walked towards Kara and gave her a hug that was too brief for Kara’s liking. “Have you been standing there long?”

“Not really. I got here just a few minutes ago, actually.” She answered. “I believe the question should be, have you been waiting long? I know we talked about meeting 7, but I’m, like, 30 minutes late.” ’25 minutes pacing back and forth in front of your office and basically, 5 minutes staring at you, to be precise.’ Kara thought. “You must be hungry already. I’m sorry.”

Lena shook her head. “Darling, there’s no need to be sorry. I’m quite alright, but thank you for your concern.”

Kara’s heart skipped a beat. It always happened whenever Lena’s calling her those sweet endearments. She’s definitely not gonna be used to Lena’s endearments, not that she’s complaining. “A-are-“ She cleared her throat. “Are you sure?”

“Of course.” Lena husked out and kissed Kara on the cheek. “Shall we eat?”

Kara could feel her face heating up and she was sure as hell that she was blushing really hard. “Y-yeah. W-we should eat.” She stammered and placed the takeouts on the table. “I got you a salad in case you don’t want to eat heavy.”

Lena chuckled. “Ah, always the thoughtful one. Have I told you that you’re my favorite person?”

“A few times, yes.” Kara answered while bobbing her head. “But please, do tell me that a little bit more.”

“And make your head bloat?” Lena raised her brow and smirked. “Never.”

This made Kara pout. “Aww… You’re mean.”

“Don’t pout.” Lena mumbled something incoherently at the end which Kara wasn’t able to get.

“I’m sorry, what?”

“Nothing!” Lena exclaimed and grabbed a box of potstickers which Kara grabbed as well, causing their fingers to brush against each other.

Lena was about to pull back when Kara pushed the box towards her. “Up for a greasy night?”

“I’d like to indulge a little when given the chance.” Lena answered, gratefully accepting the box with a wink and started to eat as she settled on the other end of the couch.

Kara blushed, if possible, even more and by the looks that Lena is giving her, she was sure that the woman in front of her noticed how red her face is and Lena seemed to enjoy Kara’s reactions.

They were eating in silence and it wasn’t an awkward silence rather, a comfortable one but, even though as comfortable as this was, Kara’s thoughts were wandering. How was she going to confront Lena? She doesn’t know what to do no matter how hard she thinks. ‘I’m an airhead.’ She thought.

“Kara, dear...” Lena called Kara and she snapped her attention towards Lena. “Are you okay?”

Kara blinked. “What? I mean- uhh, of course.” She chuckled nervously. “Why wouldn’t I be?”

Lena sighed and smiled a bit. “You, my dear, are a very bad liar. Now, tell me what’s bothering you. Brows furrowed, nose scrunched, and all.”

Kara bit her lip, feeling embarrassed for being caught lying. She forgot for a second that it was Lena. A genius, a scientist, her best friend. Of course, Lena knows if she was lying. That and she’s a terrible liar.

“Kara…” Lena settled beside her which slightly startled the blonde. Kara was so caught up in her own thoughts that she hadn’t notice Lena moving from her spot. “You know you can tell me anything, right?”

“I know that.” Kara mumbled.

Lena gave Kara a light squeeze on her shoulder. “Then tell me what’s bothering you. Maybe I can help.”

“Yeah… You definitely can.” Kara took a deep breath. “Lena…”

“Yes, Kara?” Lena asked in almost a whisper.

“Do you- I…” Kara let out a shaky breath, hoping that it’ll calm her nerves. “I mean, did you… Did you write a letter?”

Lena pursed her lips for a moment before answering. “What letter? I’ve written tons of letters, Kara, so you have to be a bit more specific.”

“Well…” The blonde hesitated for a moment. She couldn’t read Lena’s expression. It was like she had her CEO mask on, the one she uses to guard her expressions, and it was never used on her. She let out another shaky breath before speaking. It was now or never. “A letter intended for me, Lena. The one with the confession.”

“I didn’t.” Lena said with a stoic expression.

“B-but James said that you-“

Lena cut her off. “He lied.”

“No…” Kara shook her head in disbelief. “He wouldn’t.”

“But he did. I didn’t even know that such letter exists.”

“Please tell me you’re lying.” Kara pleaded.

“Why?”

“B-because… because I want to know how the letter ends. I just want to know…” Kara trailed off.

“And?” Lena prodded.

“And I was hoping that it was you who wrote the letter because I…”

“You, what?”

“I love you, like, not in a platonic way. Like, I’m really in love with you.” Kara confessed.

Lena let out a humorless laugh. “This is ridiculous. Kara, are you sure? Do you even hear what you’re saying? I’m unlovable, Kara. After all, I am a Luthor. You can’t possibly love me. I don’t deserve-“

“No, Lena, stop degrading yourself and listen to me.” Kara leaned closer towards the brunette, leveling their eye contact. “Just because you’re a Luthor doesn’t mean that you’re unlovable or you’re not capable of being loved and Lena, you are one of the most inspiring woman that I have ever met and you deserve everything and you’re not just inspiring, you are also strong, intelligent, funny, beautiful, caring, and it goes on and on and if I start making a list of the reason to love you, it’ll take me forever to list the things why.” Kara was a bit shocked that she had said it all in one go without even stuttering but nevertheless, she continued. “Your name doesn’t define who you are. You’re not just a Luthor. For me, you’re your own. You are Lena… and you aren’t that hard to love, Lee. So, I’ll ask again. Did you or did you not write the letter?”

“I…” Lena was about to deny but when she looked at Kara and the blonde was looking back at her with her glassy blue eyes, looking like a damn kicked puppy again, her resolve crumbled. No one, not even her nor Alex, can resist Kara looking like that. She sighed, knowing that she was helpless at Kara’s mercy. Little did she know that Kara was feeling the same. “Fine… I did write the letter.”

With Lena finally admitting that she was the one who wrote the letter, Kara felt relief wash over her and before she can top herself, she blurted out. “Can I kiss you?”

Her face instantly heated up and she also saw that there was a tinge of pink blooming on Lena’s cheek. “I- I mean, it’s okay if you don’t want to. It’s totally fine, really. I don’t want you to feel uncomfortable or anything. It’s just that-“

Her rambling was cut short when Lena pulled her by the neck, feeling the soft lips that were pressed against hers.

“Just shut up and kiss me. No one’s stopping you.”

And Kara did. She placed her hand on Lena’s cheek as she finally closed the gap between them and kissed Lena with passion and longing which was reciprocated with the same intensity and she felt Lena smiling between their kisses. She could hear her heart pounding loudly and she knew she was so screwed. She has fallen hard for her best friend.

With reluctance, Kara was the one who broke off the kiss as they were gasping for air. She was smiling wide like an idiot as she leaned her forehead on Lena’s.

“So… would you mind finishing the letter for me?” Kara asked a moment after their lips parted.

“I actually have the finished one. What you got was just a scratch that just so happened to be folded neatly.” Lena stood up and walked towards her desk. “I was about to throw it away that day and suddenly there was an emergency at the R&D that needed my immediate attention so I left in a hurry and didn’t notice that it slipped out of my bag.”

“Would you read it? Please?”

Lena smiled softly. “Of course. For you.”

Lena grabbed a piece of paper from her desk and settled back beside Kara. Clearing her throat, she began to read. “To my dearest Kara,

I have so much to say actually, but I guess I’ll keep this short, not that short, and go straight to the point. I just want to say thank you for being such a good friend and for everything you’ve done for me. You are the most extraordinary person that I’ve ever met and meeting you is probably the best thing that’s ever happened to me since the day that you walked into my office. I am usually guarded when it comes to reporters but, you? There was something in you that made me open up with ease. Other than that, I also want to let you know that I’m hopelessly in love with you. I don’t expect you to reciprocate my feelings, so don’t pressure yourself. I just merely want to get this out of my chest before it overwhelms me. You’re the only one who treated me like I was just a normal person and indifferent from the others. You trusted me completely regardless of my family background and you stood up for me whenever I’m being treated wrongly. You bring out the best in me and you try hard to let others see the good in me. If this letter affects our relationship, I want you to know that I’ll still be here whenever you need my help. I guess that’s everything.

“Oh, and one more thing. I love how my name rolls out of your tongue with your melodic voice.”

Kara laughed, or more likely giggled. “Lenaaa. You only added that last line just now, didn’t you?”

Lena shrugged and chuckled a bit. “Maybe?” Lena cleared her throat again and read her salutation. “Yours truly,” Lena casted a loving gaze at Kara. “Lena.”

Kara almost cried. Nope. She wasn’t gonna cry in front of Lena… Oh, who was she kidding? A tear already rolled down her cheek which Lena wiped with a gentle swipe of her thumb. Never in her life had she received something that’s really heartwarming such as this. Not from her previous suitors. Not from her exes. Only from the woman who is currently right in front of her. “Lena Kieran Luthor, have I told you that I love you?”

Smiling, Lena grabbed Kara’s hand and intertwined the fingers. “You have. But please, do tell me that a little bit more.” Lena said, throwing back what Kara told her just awhile ago, eliciting a laugh from the blonde.

“Well played, Lee. Well played.”

“You know, I’ve been wanting to hear you say that you love me for years...” Lena confessed, squeezing Kara’s fingers lightly.

Kara tilted her head to the side, looking confused. “I’m always telling you that.”

“That’s true…” Lena agreed. “But not in the way how I wanted it to be.”

“It’s a good thing that we’re on the same page, then.”

“That we are.” Lena giggled and gave the blonde a chaste kiss. “Oh, and Kara?”

Kara grinned. “Yeah, Lee?”

“I love you, too.”

As soon as they got in their apartment, Alex’s phone pinged.

Kara: Got my girl. (followed with lots of emojis)

“Oh, you have got to be fucking kidding me!” Maggie exclaimed behind Alex as she read Kara’s message and Alex was howling with laughter.

“You should’ve listened to your own self not betting about Kara’s love life with me babe.” Alex pinched Maggie’s cheek. “That’s another twenty for me.”

Maggie swatted Alex’s hand. “Damn, I shouldn’t belittle Little Danvers’ abilities.” She huffed and glared at her girlfriend. “I’ll wipe that smug look off on your face one day, Danvers. You just wait.”

“Don’t worry.” Alex gave Maggie a brief kiss on her lips. “I’m definitely gonna look forward to that, Sawyer.”

AN:

And the end. Thanks for reading.

#kara danvers #lena luthor #alex danvers #james olsen #maggie sawyer #kara #lena #alex #james #maggie #supercorp #supergirl #humor #fluff

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alostsock · 4 years ago

Text

Not now. (Part 2/...3?)

It was their next shift together. Hen and Chimney were restocking the ambulance after a call when Chimney paused. Buck had been on his mind since his talk with Maddie, but he hadn’t been sure how much he should reveal.

“Hey Hen?”

Hen stopped what she was doing, looking at him with a raised eyebrow when he didn’t immediately continue. “...Yeah?”

Chimney chewed on his words for a moment before continuing. “Uh, next time we study... maybe just let Buck join in?”

Hen’s face softened. She still felt guilty about turning him down. It really wouldn’t hurt to give him a bit of time to talk about the things that were exciting him. Buck always loved everything and everyone so deeply and so loudly, she had hated telling him no. If she had to stay up a little later that night to catch up on her study schedule, so be it. She was surprised, though, that Chimney was the one who suggested it. Had Chimney found out that Buck was more upset than he let on? Maybe Buck had said something to him, or maybe he had said something to Maddie, who had then passed it on to Chim. She loved that kid, and she didn’t want to do anything to dampen his spirit. Studying would have to wait. She gave Chimney a smile and a nod, “of course,” before turning back to what she was doing.

---

Three calls later there finally seemed to be a lull, so Hen took the opportunity to spread her study materials across the benches in the locker room, pulling out her whiteboard markers. Chimney soon joined her. They were making their way through the Biology section, alternating between reviewing concepts and doing practice questions, when Buck came into view on the other side of the glass. He seemed to give the notes written on the glass wall a once-over before going to open the door, giving them a tight smile when he realized they were staring at him. He paused, chewing on his lip, before shaking his head minutely and beelining to his locker. He pulled out his phone charger before giving them another tentative smile and making to leave again.

Hen cleared her throat, feeling a little awkward. “Hey, Buckaroo?” Buck was almost at the door, his back to them.

“Yeah?” He didn’t turn around, but Hen could see his hands were moving like he was trying not to fidget nervously. She felt guilt rush through her again. Whatever she was going to have to listen to next was worth it, to not have to see her normally enthusiastic friend so timid. Maybe she could at least get him to talk about something close to on-topic.

“Do you know anything about the endocrine system?”

She expected Buck to get excited. She expected Buck to beam at her before launching into a tirade that maybe started with some miscellany on hormones but eventually devolved into rambling about the history of science.

What she didn’t expect as for Buck to turn around to face her slowly. She didn’t expect Buck’s brow to crease as he looked at her unsurely.

“Yes? A bit? I mean...”

She smiled encouragingly. “We’re looking at it for the first time, do you know any...” she didn’t want to say trivia, she didn’t want to say fun facts... “um... anything about how it works?” Maybe he didn’t recognize the name, but she was sure he had some cool things about it stored away in the treasure trove of information that was his brain. “It’s glands and hormones and stuff.” She was sure that once he realized what she was asking about, he would be excited to share - he always was.

“I... I know.”

Hen frowned, confused by his nervousness. She plastered a smile back on, hoping to bolster his confidence as she held out a marker to him. “What do you know about it?”

---

What didn’t Buck know about it, was a more appropriate question.

Tentatively at first, but then more confidently as he picked up momentum, Buck launched into what could only be called an introductory lecture on the endocrine system. For every question Hen asked he had a clear, succinct answer or explanation almost immediately. He drew helpful diagrams, emphasized key words and concepts, and even had a few fun analogies that, to Hen’s surprise, really helped solidify her understanding.

After a few moments of staring, trying to hide her shock but also trying to absorb the information he was giving her, Hen found herself picking up some paper and a pen, and actually taking notes. He also managed to pepper in a few carefully worded questions, each of which made Hen stop and think about what he’d said, and she found the concepts clicking despite herself. Some of the material was stuff she’d read herself, but some of it was new. More interestingly, some of the things she had thought she’d known really started to settle into place in her brain.

By the time Bobby called them for dinner Buck had been talking for over an hour. Eddie had wandered into the locker room at one point and had joined them, staring wide-eyed at Buck. When another firefighter knocked on the window of the locker room, pointing up at the loft to indicate that dinner was ready, they all froze in silence for a moment.

Eddie got up, clapping Buck on the shoulder, “Wow, you really can learn anything from the internet.” Buck blushed, shrugging sheepishly, but to Chimney’s surprise didn’t say anything to correct him. Eddie patted his shoulder once more before opening the door and heading toward the stairs. Buck turned to follow him, but Hen grabbed his arm gently before he could. She pulled him into a tight hug.

“Thank you. Thank you so much, Buckaroo. I’m so sorry.”

Buck hesitated for a moment, but then reached up to return the hug. “Uh... thanks? You... um... you don’t have anything to be sorry for, Hen. And I’m happy to help, if it... if it was actually helpful, that is. If it wasn’t, I promise, just tell me, I don’t have to-” Hen cut him off with a sad look before pulling him back into a hug.

“I underestimated you, Buckaroo. I underestimated you and I’m so sorry. I won’t make the same mistake again.”

Buck blushed again, giving her a bashful smile. “I like to read, I guess.” He hugged her more time, accepting her apology, and left the room. Hen paused to tidy up her study materials before she, too, headed for dinner.

Chimney frowned. That was all Buck was going to say?

#smart!buck #evan buckley #chimney han #hen wilson #fic

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madamichaicha · 4 years ago

Text

Chapter 7 - “A DECADE AWAY”

**Apparently there has been a recent glitch on fanfiction.net, which resulted in this particular chapter not showing up correctly. When I go to check the content/chapters of the story it is there, and it even previews correctly, but for some reason it is not visible when clicking through the chapters as a reader. Which is SUPER inconvenient. I want to apologize for this bug, but hopefully, it is only temporary.

SO, I WILL BE POSTING THE COMPLETE CHAPTER BELOW.

Thank you for bearing with me. I love you all!

CHAPTER 7: SENTIMENTS

"I missed you too, Sakura."

A sad smile graced her lips as she looked upon the mismatched set of eyes that were watching her closely. She could tell Kakashi meant what he said, it was written on his face... or at least the parts of it that were exposed. In their time together on Team 7, she had gotten pretty good at discerning his micro expressions. It made conversing with someone who covered three quarters of their face a lot easier.

“Thank you,” she whispered, “No one's called me that in a long time. Never thought the sound of my own name would be so weird.”

“It's not weird to me. I've thought about it... about you... a lot over the years,” he slurred, his body swaying slightly with his words. “I'm glad I found you, Sakura-chan.”

“Kakashi, I think you might be fever drunk.”

“I'm not drunk, you're drunk.”

“Oh, I think you're loopy enough for the both of us, but thank you. I'm glad you found me, too,” she smiled, drawing close to kiss his cheek chastely.

As her lips made contact, she could feel the heat radiating off his skin and through the mask. His fever had spiked again. Every time she would bring his temperature down, it would return like wildfire. Sakura knew then, that he was definitely not well.

Now was not the time to get sentimental.

“Your fever is definitely back, Kakashi. Sorry, but these damp clothes will have to go, and you'll need to eat this soup. Your body is fighting off a nasty cold.”

“Dr. Haruno... are you trying to get me naked?” his playful voice accused, his arms coming up to cover his chest innocently.

“I'm trying to get the wet clothes you've been in all day off so that you can eat your soup and break this fever of yours.”

“You jus' wanna see my face, don't ya?”

“Kakashi,” she pleaded flatly, “I'm trying to make you feel better. Work with me here.”

“Nope,” he added boyishly, a finger coming up to boop her nose.

Suddenly, an impish grin lifted the corner of her mouth. As much as she was enjoying this lighthearted version of Kakashi, his fever was worsening, and these clothes weren't helping. If he wanted to do things the hard way, she was game.

“Fine. If you won't do it, I will.”

Before he could object, she reached down to his waist, pulling out his shirt tail. With one swift motion, his long sleeved shirt was ripped over his head and discarded on the floor.

“S-Sakura... what are you doing?” he stammered as she crawled onto his legs and went for his belt buckle.

“You're being deliberately stubborn, and refusing doctor's orders. So, I'm taking matters into my own hands. Now give me these pants!”

She had hoped her brazenness was enough to pull him out of his stupor. With the shock seeping through in his voice, Sakura hoped he would just concede and give her the dank and damp clothing. She feared her bed, too, would soon begin to smell of seawater. But by the time she got his belt unbuckled and his fly unzipped, Kakashi fell back into the bed and began to squirm.

“Oh no you don't! You are starting to reek, and my bed is getting wet. Please just let me have these clothes so I can wash them.”

The wriggling actually ended up helping her shimmy the pants off his legs, so maybe he was beginning to hear her voice of reason. She couldn't really tell though, as he was rather quiet and drowsy looking.

With the pants joining the other discarded clothing on the floor, Sakura climbed back onto the bed, intentionally ignoring the sight of him splayed-out in his boxer briefs, and hoping to finally rid him of the black tank top that clung to his body and face. How anyone could breathe with a wet piece of cloth over their nose and mouth was beyond her.

Hooking her fingertips beneath the taught fabric at his waist, she stilled, feeling a rush of guilt. She didn't feel right about this, but she didn't feel wrong about it either. It was a heady mixture of guilt and pleasure. He was quite the sight, but she knew her goal was to get him dried off so he could rest comfortably.

“Alright, Kakashi. I promise I won't look, but this has to go as well.”

He whined slightly, shutting his eyes in disappointment. He hated that she was right. It's not that he was opposed to Sakura seeing his face, he just wasn't thrilled about how it had to happen. Seems he would have to think of something, and fast.

He watched on as she pushed the material up his chest, exposing his toned torso. His heart rate increasing ever so slightly as he followed her gaze, loving that it lingered on him so outright.

“I thought you said you weren't gonna look?”

“I-I'm not,” she lied, quickly averting her eyes as she felt him raise his arms.

She was seconds away from removing that damned mask of his, and she would be lying if she said part of her wasn't excited as hell. Eyes still closed, she could only feel the ripple of his shoulder muscles beneath her hands as the garment was lifted over his head. Once she felt his head clear the confines of the attached mask, she was left holding the limp article in her hands.

It was off.

Success!

Holding her eyes shut, she was now too afraid to look. She said she wouldn't, and so he had let her remove the offending material. Sakura couldn't betray his trust now. Besides, if she did open her eyes, she wasn't sure she could take the shock of seeing this man in just his underwear. That tight, black underwear that clung dangerously low on his hips. She could feel herself salivating just thinking about it. But she needed to stay focused and sharp.

He's just another patient.

Or at least that's what she kept telling herself as she sat there, awkwardly still holding onto the item of clothing. Clearing her throat, she inhaled a calming breath, tossing the item over her shoulder to join the growing pile on the floor.

“Sakura-chan,” Kakashi beckoned, daring her to take a peak.

When she refused to open her eyes, choosing to turn her head away from him instead, Kakashi made his move. Grabbing her at the elbow, he pulled her forward so she was on top of him. They were nose to nose, her legs straddling his thigh, and yet she still kept her eyes shut. He wondered how long her resolve would last. Surely, the little cherry blossom was still curious.

“How's the fever now?” he questioned, pressing his forehead to hers.

“I-It's... hot...” she muttered breathlessly.

She was all too aware of how close their bodies were now. She tried to focus on anything other than their newfound proximity to one another, but she found herself focusing on his breathing. His unencumbered breath was fanning out across her face, the rise and fall of his chest was pushing up against hers. She could definitely feel the fever everywhere as she lie atop his entire body.

“Are you going to make me feel better now?” Kakashi whispered, his lips barely grazing hers as he spoke.

Her pulse was drumming, her stomach was aflutter, and her mind was racing at the simplest of touches. Lips, bare lips, had just skimmed her own. Sakura didn't know how to respond... she was speechless.

What the hell is going on?

Testing the waters once again, he let his bottom lip tap against hers, in search of any opposition. When he was met with no resistance, Kakashi tilted his chin and closed the minuscule gap between their mouths, kissing her gently. She had yet to open her eyes, but this was a surefire way to distract her from seeing anything below the bridge of his nose.

It was a questionable tactic, but one he was rather enjoying as he planted another soft kiss. Her supple lips were very receptive, and he was pleasantly surprised when he felt her return each one. It was tentative, but tender nonetheless.

When he felt her hand come up to cup his jaw, a thumb smoothing softly over the slight stubble on his cheek, he knew she wanted this just as much as he did. Reassured by her actions that it was safe to proceed, he let his tongue slick over her bottom lip, choosing to deepen the kiss by hoping to gain entry.

Once she parted her delicate lips, his searching tongue began to rub and knead against her own, massaging it delicately. His hands, itching to caress her skin, began to roam her body as they continued their passionate kiss. One hand crept up to the base of her neck, cradling her head, and the other smoothed down her side to the small of her back, holding her more firmly against him.

With the late afternoon sun well on the other side of her building now, her loft was slowly being enveloped in the shadows as they, too, were consumed by the growing dark of the space around them. Throwing caution to the wind, they both allowed their needy mouths to continue their onslaught. Between the panting of their desperate breaths, their bodies began to move on their own accord, neither of them giving much thought to it.

With a rock of her hips, Sakura felt Kakashi buck up against her in return. At feeling the prodding proof of his arousal against her hip, Sakura let out a gasp. Eyes shooting wide open, she froze, unable to move as she stared directly into the needy half-lidded eyes beneath her.

Nearly jumping off the bed and to her feet, Sakura quickly turned away, slightly embarrassed by her momentary loss of control. Adjusting her dress and running a hand through her hair, she attempted to pull herself out of the fog she was trapped in moments prior, fearing only a cold shower would help her now.

“Your... um... soup is getting cold,” she offered, pointing to the bowl on her nightstand.

“Ah...” Kakashi remarked impassively, missing the heat of her body.

Propping himself up against the headboard of the bed, he quickly covered the obvious bulge between his legs with the blanket. Reaching for the bowl of soup she had prepared, he inspected it closely with his spoon, unsure of what he was looking at.

“What kind of hodgepodge soup is this, anyway?”

“It's loaded with everything you need to feel better.”

“Seriously?”

“It tastes better than it looks, Kakashi.”

“I hope so. I've never had gray soup before.”

“That's just from the black rock mushrooms.”

“The what now?”

“They're a special kind of mushroom that grow on the neighboring island. They are packed full of bioactive compounds that have antioxidant, antibacterial, antiviral, and anti-inflammatory properties.”

“And what is all this... other stuff?”

“Well, the base is my own blend of vegetable stock, and contains a little bit of ginger for nausea, stewed leafy greens for iron, dried ginseng for an immune boost, and a few boiled eggs for protein and strength. Now eat.”

“Thank you,” he voiced softly, staring at her now in a silent plea for her to look back at him.

Nodding at his thanks, Sakura abruptly headed for the bathroom on the opposite side of the room, leaving Kakashi to eat in peace. After what just occurred between them, she decided to retreat, her body was still tingling with desire and she wasn't sure if she could take another second of it. A cold shower was calling her name.

Shutting the door behind her, Sakura let out a sigh of relief, the palpable discomfort somewhat dispelled by the barrier.

What the hell was that?!

Licking her lips, she could still taste the remains of their heated kiss. It was all too much to process. Seeing that man for the first time in ten years had sent her through an emotional roller coaster.

At first she was terrified at being found, then she was angry he would take everything she'd built away from her, then she was worried about his health. In the process of making sure he'd feel better, she began to feel something akin to compassion. With a few kind words and a simple gesture, her defenses crumbled.

She had cried her eyes out, all because of a simple hug.

But when the fever came back, all reason went out the window. She felt like he was being particularly difficult, but seeing him so exposed and vulnerable made her feel conflicted. And after their most recent encounter, she felt...

Alive.

Desired.

On fire.

Looking at herself in the mirror, Sakura realized her cheeks were flushed. Her reddened lips and disheveled hair making it harder to forget about the exchange that just took place. Running the sink, she decided to splash some cold water on her face in an attempt to compose herself. She needed to get a grip before her own imagination carried her away.

Why must I overthink things?

Turning on the shower, she deliberated the frigid water that awaited her, eventually choosing the hot steam over the shivering cold. This way, she could at least melt away any uncertainty she might have. Perhaps Kakashi's fever was affecting him more than he let on. For all she knew, it could have just been an elaborate ruse to keep her from seeing his face.

Ruse or not, she had still felt it. All of it. She remembered the warmth of his forehead, his strong jaw, the slight prickle from his five o'clock shadow, his soft lips, his tongue, his erection...

Shaking away any further thought, Sakura quickly undressed, and stepped through the curtain and into the hot spray of the shower. Thoughts quickly evaporating as the scalding cascade rendered her utterly relaxed.

As she felt her body relax under the steaming fall of water, Sakura tilted her head back, allowing the water to stream down her face as she smoothed her hands over her rose colored locks. She definitely needed a thorough cleanse before finishing her work for the day, or what was left of it. She still had to finish the medicated balm she was working on for... Shima.

Shit.

With the reminder of her friend's expected visit, Sakura abruptly seized her fingers assault on her scalp mid-rinse, frozen in realization.

It was true that her whole day had been sidetracked by Kakashi's unexpected arrival, so much so, that she had completely abandoned her agenda for the day. Instantly grumbling at her own bubble-headed behavior since that floppy mop of silver walked through the door, Sakura quickly finished rinsing her hair, harshly ringing out the long ends through her fists as she thought.

She was nervous to have the two meet for some reason, fearing her two worlds colliding. To avoid any tension, she would have to keep Kakashi in her room while she entertained Shima downstairs. He was only swinging by to pick up his ointment, right? Surely he wasn’t anticipating on sticking around for too long. She’d just have to keep him out of sight and none the wiser, explaining Kakashi’s presence wasn’t something she could do so easily. Hopefully Kakashi would be asleep, and Shima would be quick.

Just thinking of the nearly nude copy nin asleep in her bed made her stomach tingle. His name, alone, was enough to cause her body to react. A new, and very peculiar side effect to the reappearance of someone whom she thought history had swallowed up long ago.

Only, it wasn’t the sound of his voice or the sight of his familiar eye crinkle that made her nauseous with nostalgia… it was his smell.

His earthy fragrance made her smile. When he had held her earlier, his shirt was salty with sweat and sea, reminding her of their missions to the Land of Water. The warmth of his skin reminded her of those lazy afternoons they spent in silence, enjoying the rays of sunlight that washed over them on the practice fields after training. And his hair… it still smelled exactly the same. The same pine scent that reminded her of a forest thicket at dawn.

Sakura had first noticed her ex-sensei’s scent the time she had head-butted him to break a stand still as their kunai were locked against each other during a sparring session. After sending him backwards, she barely had time to appreciate the subtle aromatics of his shampoo before he retaliated. It was something she thought she'd never forget.

But over the years, her senses had failed her. It had been too long since she had caught wind of his scent, and these days she struggled to recreate it. With that hug jarring her memory, she had realized just how far off she had been. Nothing could beat the real deal, after all.

It was him and his smell that reminded her of the life she had left behind. Sakura had been removed all these years, come to know and love another place she now called home. And with the brief reminder of what real home really smelled like, she fell apart. The hands that held her were hands from a different time… a different life. It seemed like an alternate dimension to her now.

But while she was busy reminiscing about the past, Sakura missed the shadow creeping up on her from behind the shower curtain, yelping as a hand quickly covered her mouth.

"Shh! It’s just me. There is someone who let themselves in, he’s coming up the stairs. Now scoot."

"Wha-? What the hell, Kakashi?! Are you out of your mind?"

"Shh! It's not my fault you didn't lock the door," he hissed as he climbed his tired body behind the curtain with her, underwear and all, hiding himself from the quickly approaching intruder.

Shit, he's right. Why didn't I lock the damn door?!

Sakura didn’t have time to object to Kakashi’s intrusive actions before she heard a knock at the bathroom door, followed by a familiar voice. Peeping her head out from behind the ivy shower curtain, Sakura nervously smiled as Shima’s eyes met her own.

"Oh, there you are Aya-chan. How very odd of you to be showering during the middle of the day. Need any company?" the dusty haired man offered mockingly, only half serious as he barely made out the impression of a pert nipple through the thin curtain clinging to the front of her body.

"Thanks, but no thanks, Shima. Maybe some other time. If you give me a minute I’ll be down to finish up that… th-that… stuff you said you needed. O-Okay?"

"Alrighty…" Shima remarked suspiciously, his eyes narrowing as he felt rushed out of the room, hurried on his way as if he was interrupting something. The spreading blush on Aya’s face was enough to send the man’s imagination into over drive as he apologized and shut the door behind him.

But the warmth that caused her face to glow vermilion was not from the hot steam or Shima's sudden appearance. It was from a certain pair of eyes she felt burning into her skin, assessing her every detail as she caught his descending gaze out of her periphery.

#so sorry about this #still waiting on my ao3 invite/confirmation #kakasaku #kakasaku fanfic #kakasaku fanfiction #kaka x saku #kaka x saku fanfic #kaka x saku fanfiction #kakashi x sakura #kakashi x sakura fanfic #kakashi x sakura fanfiction #adult naruto fanfiction #naruto fanfiction #naruto fanfic #madam ichaicha

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duckduck-buck · 5 years ago

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Puppy meets Jealousy

Aka the second instalment of my fluff series: Puppy meets world. As always, I advise to read it on AO3, but just in case, here you go tumblr, that one’s for you.

——————

Of course things couldn’t stop at Princeton. Of course it had to go further than that. Of course there had to be another thing stealing Buck from him. Of course.

Now, Eddie and Princeton aren’t arch nemesis anymore. You can even say they are friends. But Leopold? No way. Leopold is a vicious, manipulative fucker who knows exactly what she’s doing. Eddie is starting to wonder if animals have a thing against him.

Leopold is a cat. A gracious ragdoll with baby blue eyes that rivaled Buck’s—except it didn’t because Buck’s eyes are the prettiest, that’s a fact, Eddie does not make the rules—.

Leopold’s name doesn’t suit her—who the fuck names a ragdoll Leopold anyway? Buck, that’s who—but she makes it work by skipping around, head held high and her beautiful collar with her name on it on full display. She loves it, or maybe it’s the attention she gets that she loves. Attention seeker.

Leopold is a cat, Buck’s cat, and she’s only been there for two weeks. Two weeks is too much in Eddie’s book because Leopold is a little shit who has all the Buck privileges and she knows it. She definitely knows because she taunts him all the time.

This time though, Eddie is not the only one who’s jealous, no! This time, Princeton, golden retriever extraordinaire, the greatest boy in Buck’s book—after Christopher but Princeton doesn’t need to know that—, is also incredibly jealous. And while Eddie is a broody jealous, Princeton is the whiney type. The two want Buck’s attention and they will have it.

If it’s a war Leopold wants, a war she will get.

Puppy meets jealousy

Buck got Leopold as a gift. It was his birthday and everyone was gathered at Eddie’s house because the loft was way too small to have everyone over.

Maddie, the traitor, had brought with her a medium sized box and when her dear brother had opened it, a beautiful cat had emerged. Alright, more like, a cat had jumped out and almost clawed Buck’s pretty eyes out. Anyone would have been completely scarred and would have demanded for the cat to be brought back from where it had came from. Anyone but Evan fucking Buckley. No, the blond had decided right there and right then, that the cat was his baby and he would love her forever.

He had also announced her name out loud in the span of five minutes of heavy staring.

Leopold.

Leo-fucking-pold.

Who names their cat Leopold? Who does that?

“You can’t name her Leopold, Buck.”

“Why not?”

“Because...that’s not a name for a cat.”

“You take that back!”, Buck had gasped, completely offended by what Bobby—his father figure, Leopold’s grandfather—had said, “She loves it!”`

The man had simply huffed a laugh and patted Buck’s shoulder with an apologetic smile, used to his antics.

And guess what, Buck named the fucking cat Leopold.

Now at the beginning Leopold hadn’t been a problem. She was welcomed in the family despite being quite passive-aggressive with everyone. They had all thought it was simply because she wasn’t used to them but the thing is, she did warm up. To Buck and only Buck. The rest of them? Enemy. Particularly one Eddie Diaz and one Princeton the golden retriever.

And she makes sure they know it. Every single day.

Princeton is a dog. Leopold is a cat. Naturally their relationship isn’t the best. Princeton is also a golden retriever, one of the nicest and softest dog to exist, happy-go-lucky, energetic, gentle and easy to be around. He is the station mascot and most of the time stays there, but he also leaves with Buck quite often. It’s not a surprise to see him at his apartment, curled up at the foot of Buck’s bed, or lounging on the sofa, his head in his best friend’s lap—yes, Eddie has accepted the fact that he has to share that title with Princeton, reluctantly—. He wouldn’t hurt a fly, except if you count that one time he ate a butterfly, but he knows better now. He swears.

So can someone please explain to Princeton why is the newcomer, a CAT, looking at him as if he was an intruder in his own home? Buck is Princeton’s human. Who is this squatter and how dare they look down on him as if he was a simple visitor. And also, what are they doing in his best friend’s lap—Princeton’s place, not cat’s place.—The audacity of the feline species never failed to surprise him.

“Prince, stop growling, you’re going to scare Leo.”, Buck looks at him sternly, the kind of gazes that makes Princeton feel guilty. Ouch. That hurt. But it’s alright, because Prince’s human, Bucky-great-cuddles, doesn’t know how mean cat is. Princeton will show him.

Princeton’s plan to show Bucky-great-cuddles how mean cat is, failed. Terribly. It backfired on him so badly, he was put on time out. Bucky-great-cuddles is looking at him in disappointment and cat is looking all smug in the background.

Cat is evil, but damn, cat is good at this war thing.

Eddie is sitting on Buck’s sofa, waiting for his boyfriend to come back from his errant at the grocery store. His abuela had Christopher for the night. She’d told him that she would take care of Chris and that he should go and have a fun night with Evan. She had also closed the door with a wink and a wide grin.

Eddie never wants to see that expression on her face ever again. It speaks volume and at that moment? The volume was astronomical.

So here he is, alone in Buck’s apartment waiting for him to come back. Or maybe not so alone if Leopold counts. The cat is laying on a small bed—made just for her—and she’s glaring daggers at him with her piercing blue eyes. He glares right back. It might seem ridiculous, but he knows the little devil. He will never forget the day she broke the glass that was beside him while Buck had his back turned and left with her head high. She’s up to something and it shows.

The room is eerily silent, saved for the faint sound of the TV playing. Eddie and Leopold end up in a staring contest and none of them ever waver.

It’s not until the front door opens and Evan’s pretty smile appears that they stop glaring at each other. Both of their heads snaps and Leopold struts to her master, rubbing her head on his leg. He laughs, and put the bags in his hand on the table before bending down to gather her in his arm.

“Did you two have fun?”, he walks to Eddie and gently presses a kiss on the corner of his mouth—much to Leopold’s irritation if her sudden mewl was anything to go by.

“Absolutely.”, Eddie’s smile is strained and he’s glaring dagger at the cat in Buck’s hand. It’s not even in jealousy anymore, just exasperation at her presence. Okay, there’s a little bit of jealousy there still. Just a tiny bit.

No, Eddie does not kiss Buck fervently just so he could drop Leopold. That would be mean and childish. No, he does not put his hands on his boyfriend’s hips and makes him fall on the sofa before following suit. No he does not start a full blown make out session, with Buck under him, Eddie does not let his hands wander, he does not pepper kisses on his cheek, jaw and neck, he does not bite. He does not.

Except he does and it’s great! It’s fantastic, perfect. Things are heating up, the desire for more is building up, their moves are more passionate, frantic and bolder.

It’s perfect.

But they can’t go on.

Of course, fucking Leopold would ruin the mood, of course she would stare at them so hard they both feel it. Of course she would take a very, very nice and hot and sexy—emphasis on the sex part—night from Eddie’s hands. Of course.

They could go upstairs and continue their little make out session, but knowing the beast, she would follow them. She oh-so would. And knowing Buck, he would never let Eddie lock her in her cage—useless cage—or in the bathroom or anywhere.

Leopold cockblocked Eddie.

Fuck. She really is winning the war.

“She is the worst.”, Eddie has a deep frown on his face. His hot coffee is sitting in front of him, still untouched., “Even Princeton thinks so and he likes everyone.”

They are at the station. Bobby and Buck are downstairs, possibly with Princeton, checking the ladder truck. Hen and Chimney are both sitting in front of Eddie, listening to his complains, as always. Hen is holding one of those magazine she always have when she pretends she’s not interested in gossip; so he’s sure she’s attentively listening and is already making three plans to help him—or make his life more difficult. Chimney is not hiding his thoughts of how ridiculous Eddie is being, he’s smirking and rolling his eyes and Eddie is pretty sure he’s live texting Maddie at the same time.

“She’s a cat.”, Hen deadpans, looking at him from behind her magazine.

“An evil cat.”

“Still just a cat.”

“You don’t understand Hen, it’s like she just hates me for some reason.”

“The same way you hates her for no reasons?”, Chimney chimes in from his place, still typing furiously on his phone—he was definitely live texting Maddie.

“Am I the only one who remembers all the things she’s done to me? The broken glass? That one time she crapped in my shoe? When her litter box was right where it usually is? Or that time she scratched me because I touched my boyfriend? My own boyfriend?”

“Okay, so maybe she does have some kind of grudge against you—”

“—Exactly—”

“Or maybe she still needs some time to warm up to you, and to the rest of us...”

“But that’s the thing Chim, the rest of you don’t see Buck as much as I do. I mean, we’re dating! And I see her way too often, she should be used to my presence by now! She’s used to Christopher, hell, she loves him!”

“Who doesn’t?”, Hen mutters with a fond smile.

“True but not the point. All I’m saying is I need to find a way to get her back.”

“The cat? You want to get back to...the cat?”, Hen looks at him in disbelief, even putting down her magazine, “And I thought you were one of the sane ones.”

“It’s only us in this case Hen.”, Chim laughs.

“Keep telling yourself that Howie, there are only two sane people in this team and that’s Bobby and me, the rest of you are morons.”

“Hey! Can we go back to the topic at hand? Yes. Thank you. Give me ideas to, I don’t know, get her to tone it down or something.”

“I don’t know what to tell you Eddie, talk to your boyfriend about it?”

“Yeah, no, not doing that.”

“Forgot you were emotionally stunted.”

“What does that have to do with anything? And I’m not emotionally stunted, thank you very much.”

“Obviously.”

Modern problems requires modern solutions. That’s what Eddie will say when they will ask him why he did what he did.

Edmundo Diaz likes to think he’s a very responsible person. Between him and Buck, there’s no doubt about who is the most responsible and level-headed of the two—even though, after the thing with the well, there would be an argument about impulsiveness. But he stands by his point. He’s a responsible adult with a child.

But right now, standing in the middle of Buck’s apartment with a cat in his arms, a cat that is not Leopold, he’s starting to think that maybe, just maybe, his boyfriend’s impulsiveness and tendency of having crazy ideas are starting to rub on him.

Modern problems requires modern solutions. For Eddie, modern solutions means going to the shelter, get a kitten, and coming back to Buck’s with a little companion. The kitten is adorable, grey with big and curious green eyes. Eddie already loves him. Hopefully, Leopold will as well because he got him for her. Or well, to keep her busy at least while he finally gets some alone time with his boyfriend.—Honestly, why did they let Buck rent such an open space apartment? Like? Why?

Eddie sets the kitten on the floor and let it walk around, under Leopold’s wide eyes, and looks around for his boyfriend, only to find him upstairs, rummaging through his closet.

“Hey.”

“Finally you’re here, I need your help with—”

“I have something for you...but don’t get mad.”

Buck raises an eyebrow, thrown off by what Eddie had said. What could he have done to make him mad? He follows Eddie down the stairs only to see a small cat walking around his living room.

“Eddie...why is there another cat here?”

“Modern problems requires modern solutions.”

Edmundo Diaz should really start thinking before talking. That’s usually Evan’s scene.

Neither of them notice the kitten making his way to them until he rubs his head on Buck’s leg. The young man looks surprise but still takes him in his hands, petting his small head. At this moment, Eddie knows, Buck is completely sold.

They keep the kitten.

In the end, the kitten is a good thing. Buck ends up naming him Charles X. When Eddie asks him if it’s because of X-Men, the young man just looks at him in confusion. Eddie is not surprised. Leopold adores him too, she never let him out of her sight and cuddles with Charles X, like, all the time, and that means that Eddie has Buck way more than he used to when the evil cat that Leopold is, was stealing his attention. She even seems to have mellowed down if the way she doesn’t stare or hiss at him anymore is any way to go by.

So, yes, maybe Eddie suffers Hen’s and Chimney’s endless teasing at any chance they get, and maybe Maddie dies of laughter every time she sees Charles X, and maybe Christopher now wants a pet as well, and maybe Abuela tells him that if he’s going to act like that, he should just marry ‘lovely Evan’, and maybe Bobby shakes his head in desperation every time the kitten comes up in a conversation, and maybe Athena and Karen both call him a drama queen whenever they see him; but Eddie would like you all to know, that he once again won the war for Evan Buckley’s love. Fair and square.

Buck does mock him too when he learns the reason behind the presence of Charles X, and he does tell him that there was no war and that he loves him the most—after Christopher and Maddie thought, which, wow, rude but fair—.

Ah, and, yes. Princeton and Leopold are still enemies...but that’s a story for another time.

#911 fic #Buddie #evan buckley #Eddie Diaz #meets fluff #humor #long #get your daily dose of irrationally jealous eddie #one day i will write him seriously #but as of now you get fluff #one day i will angst #not today #Princeton the golden retriever #Leopold the ragdoll

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softpepperony · 5 years ago

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Mission: Kitten

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Reader

Word Count: 2,508

Warnings: VERY brief mention of animal abuse

Summary: You fall in love with a kitten from the shelter you volunteer at. After meeting him, Bucky does too, he just takes his sweet time to admit it. FLUFF

*This is my first fic I’ve ever written so if it’s bad, I’m sorry. Don’t be afraid to leave constructive criticism or even prompts in my inbox! TY<3*

You got in your car with your new cat, Finnigan. After years of volunteering at the local animal shelter, you’re surprised you’ve made it this long without taking at least one of the animals you take care of home. Part of the reason was that your boyfriend, Bucky had made the “no pets” rule. It wasn’t that he didn’t like animals or was allergic, he was just worried that your lifestyles wouldn’t make allowances for such adorable little balls of fur. After all, he was an Avenger and you worked for S.H,I.E.L.D, so your lives were a little unpredictable. But this little guy stole your heart the minute you saw him. He’s just over six months old with long black and white fur. His missing eye and smushed face are just to die for. You set Finnigan’s, or Finny’s for short, carrier in your passenger seat and began to make the drive home.

“Oh Finny”, you say to the carrier to your right, “I’m sure he’ll love you... don’t be nervous... are you nervous?”

Of course he isn’t nervous you think to yourself He’s a cat! You’re the one who’s nervous [Y/N]

The rest of the ride home was you rehearsing how tonight would go

“Hey Buck... You know I love you very much.. right” no

“Hey babe... don’t be mad at me BUT” oh no, he’s definitely gonna be mad

“Hey buck... iknowyousaidnopetsbutthisoneisspecialandicouldn’tsaynosopleasecanwekeephim” Well, at least it’s straight to the point.

You pull into the driveway before you were done planning the scenario in your head.

“looks like I’m winging it” you mutter under your breath.

You get out of the car and take Finny’s carrier in one hand and fling your bag over your shoulder with the other. You were just about to open the door, but Bucky beat you to it.

“Hey doll, how was the shelter today?” a soft voice asks as he pulls you into a hug.

“Oh ya know, it was.... great just.....great” you reply, trying to conceal Finnigan’s carrier behind your legs.

“Oh? Is Everything ok? Here.. let me take your bags for you” He takes your purse from your shoulder and then reaches for the carrier. “Um Doll, what’s that?”

Shoot. Uhhhh cover it up

“Bucky.. that’s my purse... I take that with me everywhere... It has my phone, wallet, keys..”

“I mean... what’s... why is that plastic case meowing?”

Buckyyyyy this wasn’t part of the plan

“Look, Buck.. I know you had told me no pets, but this little guy... I just.. couldn’t say no to him. He hasn’t left me alone since we brought him in” You say as you lift Finnigan out of his carrier. “I mean, c’mon look at his little face! And his fluffy fur!!”

“[Y/N], I told you, we can’t have a pet. We can’t take care of a pet! Maybe if you brought home something smaller like a fish, it would’ve been fine! But a cat? Where is he gonna sleep? What does he eat? What if he makes a mess of our place?” He looks at your falling expression, “what if we have to go on a mission all of a sudden?”

“Bucky, It’d be YOU going on a mission, remember? I’m the brains, you’re the muscle.”

“Doll....”

“Please Buck, please?”

As hard as he’s tried, Bucky Barnes could never say no to you.

You notice Bucky deep in thought, after a few seconds and your puppy dog eyes looking directly at him, he finally declares, “Fine, I suppose he could stay. For a little bit at least”

“YAY! Bucky, thank you so much!!!” You throw your arms around him, leaving almost no room for poor Finny. You don’t realize this until you hear a faint squeak come from between your bodies. “Sorry Finny, I’m just so happy you’re finally home”

You bring your purse and Finny inside, leaving Bucky to take the carrier.

“I just want you to know this is TEMPORARY” You hear Bucky’s voice call from behind. “what are we going to do with him?”

“Well, he’ll need a bed, food, a water dish... a litter box” you reply.

“And where exactly will we get these things from?”

“Well, if you don’t mind staying here, I can run to the store and-”

The door opens and Sam Wilson enters.

“Hey guys I was just wondering if- well who is this??” Sam asks when Finnigan starts rubbing his ankles, a cats way of asking for attention.

“That’s Finnigan” you answer as Sam picks him up, “I was actually just on my way out to pick up some supplies for him”

“You were?” Bucky asks

“Well, yes unless you would like to go and I’ll stay with the cat?”

“So you’re telling me you just brought this cat home on a whim five minutes ago and now you want to leave me alone with it?”

“Do you need someone to watch him?” Sam interjects, holding and petting Finn while Finny purrs away in his arms. “Because... if you do.. I really don’t mind”

“You’re a bird, Sam, aren’t you supposed to be AFRAID of cats?” Bucky retorts.

“Nah, not this one dude. What’s he gonna do? Snuggle me to death?” Sam answers and Finnigan mews in agreement.

“Tell ya what, [Y/N], Sam and I will stay with the cat while you go out and get him some things. Ok?” Bucky offers. He’s volunteering to watch him, that’s a good sign, right?

“Sounds good” you say, grabbing the keys to you car off the shelf, “See you guys later. Please don’t wreck anything OR HIM while I’m gone”

The door closes. Sam and Bucky make their way to the furniture that’s set up in the loft.

“So when did you decide to adopt a cat? I always thought you hated animals!” Sam questions while lounging in the large armchair and placing his feet on the coffee table.

“Sam- it-it’s not that I hate animals, it’s just... having such an unpredictable lifestyle...”

“Buck, I’m sure it’ll be fine. It’s not like [Y/N] goes on these missions too. Sure being a Shield agent can be unpredictable at times, but if worse comes to worst, you could always hire a sitter” Sam attempts to calm his nerves.

“A sitter.. for a cat? Sam c’mon don’t you think that’s a little much?”

“Nah man, people do that all the time!”

“Ok fine, but what if he breaks stuff, or worse, gets hurt? I swear I’ll never hear the end of it!”

“Bucky, he’s a kitten, look man, he’s already asleep” they both glance down at Sam’s lap where a sleepy Finnigan lays contentedly.

“Maybe for now”

“Having a pet may not exactly be easy but be thankful it’s a cat. She could’ve come home with a tarantula... or another exotic animal, one of those 14 foot long snakes” Sam laughs.

“At least those guys stay in their enclosure”

It seemed like nothing was ever going to make Bucky ok with the idea of having a cat. No matter how hard Sam tried to talk to him, it would always come back to “but what if we get called on a mission?” “what if he ruins our house?” “his fur is gonna get everywhere it’s gonna be so messy!”

The door opens and you enter with an armful of Petsmart bags. Finnigan’s little ears perk up in his sleepy state. Once he realizes what’s going on, he jumps off of Sam’s lap and runs over to greet his new mother.

“Hi Finny baby!!!” You baby talk to the kitten, “I’m back and I have some food, a bed and some toys for you sweetie!! Are you excited?” Finny meows back and Bucky shakes his head.

“It’s gonna be ok, man” Sam reassures him.

You don’t waste any time in setting up the kittens living area. You set his food and water dishes down on a mat on the tile floor of the kitchen, his bed right near the furniture in the loft and unpack a wand with some ribbons attached for him to play with. You drag the ribbon across the floor and watch as Finnigan scrambles to catch it. Sam laughs, Bucky does too but as soon as he knows you’ve noticed, he goes back to being unamused.

“Oh! And one more thing!” you say, pulling a teal blue collar with reflective stars on it out of it’s packaging, “I got you a collar and will be ordering tags just in case you get lost!” you put the collar around Finny’s neck.

“You got him a collar? [Y/N], you know we can’t keep him right? We are only taking care of him until we find him a family that wants him”

“Bucky... please” you beg.

“[Y/N] no, I told you this is only temporary. He’s cute and all but we really can’t have him running around making a mess of things and getting his fur everywhere!”

You decide that having Finny home with you for now is good enough, at least Bucky let the cat inside... which is more than you thought he’d do.

“Hey guys, it was fun hanging but it is getting pretty late. I’m gonna head back home. If you guys, or Finny, need anything, you know where I’m at” Sam gives Finny one last pat on the head before closing your door.

In all the excitement, you really didn’t realize just how quickly time moves. You glance at the clock, 12:01 am. It’s definitely time to call it a night. Bucky makes his way to your shared room while you pick Finny up and give him a kiss goodnight.

“It’s ok Finny, we’ll convince him sooner or later” you promise to the kitten while setting him in his bed. He purrs and drifts off to sleep. You head off to bed as well.

You wake up the next morning and find Finnigan(by some miracle) right where you had left him. You start brewing the coffee, throw some bagels in the toaster and then go to sit with your new baby.

“Good morning Finny” you greet him. He nuzzles his little face against your hand and you start petting him. “How’d you sleep little guy? You must have really slept huh? Cause I found you right where I left you last night. I thought kittens like to cause mischief while their parents were asleep but not you sweetheart, you’re an angel” you continue to have this one sided conversation with the kitten until you hear the toaster go off. You stand up to take the bagels out but Bucky beats you to it.

“It’s ok doll, I’ll get them, you can keep talking” A small smile forms on Bucky’s face which he immediately wipes away when he sees you’ve noticed. You stand up anyway to go greet him with a kiss.

“Morning baby, how’d you sleep?” you ask

“I slept all right darlin, howabout you?”

“All right as well”

“Do you want cream cheese or butter on your bagel?”

“Cream cheese please!”

“What time are you going to the shelter today, doll?”

“I was going to head out as soon as we finished breakfast. We just got in this litter of kittens, 4 of them found in a plastic bag on the side of the highway, mother nowhere to be seen”

“Okay doll, does that mean I’m watching Finnigan?” Bucky asks while pouring two mugs of coffee.

“If you don’t mind”

“So am I just going to be left with the cat every day?”

“Not everyday Buck, besides. He’s so cute! How can you be mad about spending time with a face like that?”

“Not mad, doll.” he pauses, “and I suppose I could watch him today”

“Thank you”

You finish up breakfast and quickly get ready. You give Bucky and Finny a kiss goodbye and then head to your car. The day went by so slow. All you wanted to do was be home to spend time with your furbaby, but you also realized there were other animals that needed caring for. You went through your daily routine of cleaning the cats crates, playing with them, making sure they all had food and water, and brushing them as well. Especially the long haired cats. They always required a little extra care because of their easily tangled coats. You and another girl you worked with took the dogs for a walk and cleaned their crates. Caring for 40+ animals daily was a lot of work but well worth the gross and tired feeling at the end of the day. By the time the end of the day arrived, you were ready to be home.

You pulled in the driveway and opened the door to a seemingly empty house.

“Bucky? Finny? Anyone here?” you called, hoping there would be an answer.

“In here doll” you heard a call from the bedroom.

“Please tell me you have the cat as well”

“I do” Bucky replied, and you relaxed.

“I’m gonna take a shower, Buck would you mind getting dinner started?” you ask.

“That would be a question for Finnigan”

“Bucky what are you talking about?”

You open the bedroom door to find Bucky laying on the bed with Finnigan sprawled out across his legs, both of them were clearly comfortable, ESPECIALLY Finnigan. You could hear his purrs all the way to the door. You smile and shake your head.

“I thought you didn’t like him” you tease.

“It wasn’t that I didn’t like him, it’s just that I was scared to be responsible for another life when mine is so unpredictable. But [Y/N], he hasn’t left my side all day and just has the cutest little voice. And look at him! He’s so fluffy and his little face with his missing eye! How can you not absolutely be in love?”

“Bucky, this is what I’ve been trying to show you! So...”

“What, doll?”

“Can he stay”

“Of course”

Nothing made you happier than hearing that. You loved Bucky with your whole heart and seeing him fall in love with that kitten made you love him even more. You place a quick kiss on his lips before saying “Thank you”. He wraps his strong arm around you and pulls you into his chest. He kisses your forehead as you nuzzle into him further. Finnigan walks up to rub his face against yours and licks your nose delicately before laying beside you. Everything is perfect. You’re with the love of your life, and Finny is yours and Bucky’s forever. This little family is all you could’ve asked for and you wouldn’t have it any other way.

“I love you” you tell Bucky

“I love you” he replies, “And Finnigan too” patting the almost asleep kitten on the head.

“I’m so lucky” you mumble, so tired you can barely speak.

Bucky grins and holds you closer.

“Go to sleep doll, you’ve had a long day”

And so you do, you drift off to sleep in his arms with your kitten right beside you.

#bucky #bucky barnes #bucky x reader #bucky barnes x reader #bucky x y/n #bucky barnes x y/n #bucky x you #bucky barnes x you #marvel x reader #marvel fanfiction #bucky barnes fluff #bucky barnes x reader fluff #avenger fanfiction #avengers x reader #sebastian stan

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undindjarin-archive · 6 years ago

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Ok, 13 and/or 43? Pairing of your choice!

“I love you more than coffee.” *distant gasps* + “The things I would do just to see your face right now.” + stevebucky

The third time it happens, Bucky can’t fight it anymore. He can’t even move his head from his hand to cover his mouth as the yawn comes on without warning as he rubs at his eyes with the other one.

“Bucky, baby, just go to sleep.”

Steve has been telling him to do that for the last hour alone, but no way is Bucky going to pass up talking with him. No matter the late hour or the fact he’s been on his feet almost all day and had stayed up before they started talking four hours ago to finish a research paper that was due at the end of the week.

Steve has been gone for nearly a month already in Paris for his job. What he was doing there, Bucky couldn’t recall, but hell was he proud of Steve for being chosen to go. Even if it set them 6 hours apart and he’d stayed up waiting to talk to Steve when he woke up in the morning.

Already feeling another yawn come on, Bucky shakes his head as he blinks his eyes a few times. “No chance in hell. We’ve barely had a moment to talk at all since you left, and I miss you.”

Eyes falling closed for a moment, Bucky doesn’t miss the sympathetic noise Steve makes. “I miss you too, but Bucky, you need to sleep.”

Letting out a heavy sigh, Bucky sits up a bit straighter and rubs at his face, “‘M fine.” Bucky insists as he pushes away from his desk to stretch, hearing his joints pop in protest.

Steve’s hum sounds full of disbelief and Bucky can practically hear his boyfriend’s eye roll through the phone. Leaning back in his chair, Bucky looks up at the ceiling as he closes his eyes again.

“Guess what?” Bucky murmurs after neither of them say anything for a considerable amount of time, a small smile pulling up on his lips that he bites down, despite the fact that Steve isn’t actually there to see it.

“You’re a dork?” Steve guesses, his voice full of exasperated affection.

“No, I was going to say I love you, you punk,” Bucky says and earns a laugh that sounds like music to his ears.

“Really? Well, I love you more, jerk.” Steve counters as a rustling noise nearly cuts off his answer, as if Steve is moving around wherever he is.

Sitting up straight again Bucky can’t keep the smile from his face as he pulls himself back to his desk and grabs a framed picture of them. “Well, I love you more than coffee, and I’d kill for one right now.”

The sentiment hasn’t even left his mouth fully until he hears his roommate gasp and come running down the hall and bursting into his room. “More than coffee? How can you even be serious about that Bucky?”

Rolling his eyes and pushing himself towards his bed, he grabs a pillow before lofting it at Clint’s head. Hearing Steve’s laugh on the other end, Bucky takes the phone away from his ear and flips Clint off as he tosses the pillow back onto Bucky’s bed.

“Yes, I meant what I said, I love Steve that much. Now get out, Barton, before I tell Nat that you love coffee more than her.” Bucky threatens as he waves him out.

Clint rolls his eyes and heads back down the hall, already grumbling something about that Natasha probably already knows that he loves coffee more than her.

Putting the phone back to his ear, Bucky bites his lip again as he takes the picture back into his hands. It was one taken from 3 years ago of them at the Grand Canyon. Steve had planned the whole trip and had made it a surprise for Bucky’s birthday. The two of them were standing in front of the railing, Bucky giving Steve bunny ears, well trying to, his hand is more a blur as the action was never successful as Steve had kissed his cheek as soon as the picture was being taken, surprising him.

It was the most important thing he owned. Staring at it now only made the ache in his chest grow deeper, and it’s only been a month. “Steve- I-” Bucky takes in a shuttering breath, “The things I would do just to see your face right now…” Bucky chokes out, hating the way his voice cracks.

He shouldn’t be this emotional after looking at a photo and a few weeks of his boyfriend being gone. But here they were and he was.

“I know, I miss you so much, baby. It’s just for a little while longer, I promise. As soon as I’m back home, we’re going to spend the whole day doing whatever you want.” Steve sounds just as emotional as him, Bucky shakes his head as he digs the palm of his left hand into his eye, wiping away his tears.

“Okay,” Bucky whispers as he nods, leaning forward to prop himself on his hand again on his desk.

“How about you get some sleep? It’s nearly three there, yeah?” Steve asks softly, but at this point, Bucky doesn’t feel up for talking anymore, exhausted as he is, but he’d do anything to have Steve be here with him, and if hearing his voice is the best he can get, he’s not going to give it up.

“Tell me about Paris,” Bucky says, nearly pleads, not ready to go to sleep, and even if Steve has somewhere to be, selfishly, Bucky will take ten more minutes if Steve will give them to him. Especially since he doesn’t know how much longer he’s going to be away from him.

Waiting for Steve to say anything has Bucky’s heart in his throat, thinking that Steve’s already hung up on him. He has to check to make sure they’re still connected before Steve seems to let out and take a seat wherever he is before he gives in and begins to talk about how beautiful it is and how he wishes that Bucky could be there with him.

There are a few things that Bucky notices when he comes to the next morning. First is that he fell asleep talking to Steve, his soft, deep voice full of affection having put him at ease and lulled him off to sleep. The second is the crick in his neck and wrist as he moves them, feeling the stiffness of having fallen asleep nearly sitting up all night. Thirdly, is the blanket draped around him that Clint must have put around his shoulders at some point, probably coming to check on him after he’d fallen asleep. The fourth and final thing he notices is what woke him up: the knocking at their front door.

Rubbing at his face, smacking his lips together as he rises to his feet and stretches, his body hating him as he does, he turns and heads to the front door. “Clint?” he calls as he makes his way down the hall. He must either be out or still asleep and have his hearing aids out if he wasn’t already awoken by the knocking.

Having no answer from Clint, Bucky runs a hand through his hair as he comes to a stop and opens the front door, “Hello?” Bucky yawns, eyes widening at who is at their door.

The disheveled blonde standing sheepishly in front of him nearly causes tears to form as Bucky shakes his head. “This isn’t funny, I don’t want this to be a dream.” Bucky sighs as he rubs at his eyes once more. Even if this was a dream, he would do anything to have Steve actually be in front of him right now.

Feeling a hand come out to rest on the back of his neck and pulling him forward into a familiar wall of muscle, Bucky wraps his arms around him as Steve presses a kiss to his head. “It’s not, Buck. It’s me. I’m here.” Steve promises, holding him close as Bucky begins to shake.

It’s been so long since he’s had Steve there to hold him, to reassure him, to tell him he loves him and be able to prove it with a hug or a kiss afterward.

Taking in a deep breath, Bucky doesn’t do anything more but hug onto his boyfriend, who may or may not actually be there in front of him right now. He only suspects it may be real as he’s being lifted and carried back into the apartment, the front door shutting behind him as he’s carried down the hall to his room.

Being placed down on the bed, Bucky nearly whimpers at the thought of Steve leaving, but it isn’t even a moment later that Steve is climbing over him to be against the wall on the bed, pulling Bucky against him and holding him close. Pressing a soft kiss to his hair, Steve rubs a soothing hand up and down his back, “I love you, Bucky, go ahead and sleep.”

Curling in close, burying his face against Steve’s chest, Bucky breathes him in as he relaxes as Steve continues to rub his back. Whether this is a dream or not was still up for debate, one that Bucky could settle later. For now, a soft smile pulls up on his face as he drifts off to sleep, safe and loved in a place that feels like home.

#love you kira!#stevebucky #steve rogers #bucky barnes #srogers #bbarnes #fic nonsense #kira tag #path-finding #wes gets mail!

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