#i love how gaudy ancient paint always is

[tavina-writes]

I started writing an essay in the tags of a post that was not strictly related to this topic but started getting me thinking and realized I should just. Make my own post about this because I have kind of been sitting on this frustration for a while? And mmmm idk how to feel about this.

(For the record, the post that inspired this is this one.)

I want to make it clear UPFRONT that I am not knocking on ANYONE's interpretations of NHS or about having gender headcanons about a character in general. I think people can headcanon NHS as whichever gender they like because those interpretations are fun and exciting and I like to read about those too.

What I have been getting progressively iffy on, and am not entirely clear on how to express until I came across the above post is the idea that 'NHS is femme-coded because he has femme-coded hobbies' or 'NHS is very gender/gender nonconforming because he likes to paint and doesn't like exercise/practice his saber' or 'NHS is not very masc in comparison to his brother and people in his society put him down/are irritated with him/react to him differently because his gender presentation is more femme.'

And I think what's always kind of boggled me about interpretations like these that I've mentioned above is because...

Hobbies like keeping birds* and painting and calligraphy and poetry** and being well dressed and fashionable*** were strongly masculine coded scholar gentry hobbies for bored rich men**** in historical China. People react to NHS they way they do in text (at least from what I can understand of the social norms of the MDZS jianghu) because NHS is determined to be a particularly foppish dandy and also yknow, actively wailing about his many problems.

So, I think the tldr of this is that: NHS can be interpreted as whatever gender people would like! But his society and his peers and the other characters are not reacting to him in a certain way because he's femme-coded, they're reacting to him that way because he's an irritating asshole and kind of foppish (affectionate)

*keeping birds (as pets and not like, just raptors for hunting) was a rich man's hobby in Ancient China from at least the Zhou dynasty, though which birds were popular as pets (everything from parrots to orioles) differed depending on the dynasty, but the Ming and Qing dynasties were extremely big on pet birds in rich people's houses in particular.

**it is unclear if NHS is particularly good at say, painting or calligraphy OR poetry but the point is that he appears to like these things

***men's fashion has been a wild beast throughout the ages both in the east and the west, and men have done things for fashion like wearing gaudy archer's rings to show off archery skills they didn't have, high heels, Song dynasty men wore flowers in their hair, and my own personal unfavorite: the Qing Dynasty queue.

****the four gentlemanly arts were for example: qin qi shu hua -- playing the qin (music), weiqi (Go if you want to use the Japanese name for the game), shu (calligraphy), and hua (painting). See brief wikipedia summary about the four arts here. There were different things also included in the education of an aristocratic gentleman in pre-imperial China but we have no time to delve into that in this post. HMU for more info if you want it because I love to talk about historical things.

[palaeopathological]

Column with Hathor Emblem Capital and Names of Nectanebo I on the Shaft Late Period, Dynasty 30, Reign of Nectanebo I (380-362 BC) Limestone Metropolitan Museum of Art, NYC

Hathor columns were associated with temples connected with goddesses, or with mammisi-temples (”birth houses”) devoted to the birth of the divine son of a goddess.  Smaller versions of this one must have been used in connection with small kiosks, or other small structures, or may have even served as cult emblems themselves.

This column was elaborately decorated: the goddess’ eyes were originally inlaid, and extensive traces of paint remain.  Cleaning, examination, and scientific analysis have revealed that the entire column was first covered with a ground and then painted yellow (yellow ochre), with a palette of blue (Egyptian blue) , dark blue (Egyptian blue mixed with carbon black), green (Egyptian green), red (red ochre), and black (carbon black) used for details.

[rostovs-lover]

dalí on tuesday

charlie dalton x reader | cursing, smoking, brief mentions of sexual things, charlie (probably) has daddy issues, cameron | she/her pronouns | fluff | wc.2562

i am in love with charlie, this is now a charlie dalton centric blog, also ignore how terrible the title is please

anon : Hi!! I love your blog! can I request a charlie Dalton x reader fluff where reader is an artist and he visits them while they're painting? (maybe they end up wiping paint on his face?) I don't know, something really sweet at cute <33333

Charlie Dalton had been resigned to relish in small pleasures to keep himself sane at school, never did he think the library would be one of those. More specifically, the painter tucked into the basement of the library. 

                            ───☮︎───

     Charlie Dalton was a connoisseur of many things. Pretty girls, expensive wine, shitty poetry, and hand rolled cigarettes - to name a few. His imprisonment at Wellington made only one of those things readily available. So he settled - boxes of cheap smokes bought through upperclassmen, bottles of grocery store wine someone would sneak in from a party, and the two girls that occasionally came with Knox. The shitty poetry was always on deck, he had that at least. It was a tragedy to be resigned to such a bland life, there was absolutely no carpe diem-ing happening in a school that held adolescent boys to uniforms.

      It was miserable, truly, but Charlie scrapped by on the thought that soon enough there would be no more stuffy Catholic school and he could finally have a taste of freedom. In the meantime, he would have what little fun he could. The meets in the cave were always the highlight of the week. A place where he could talk and people would listen, and not because they had to but because they enjoyed it. They enjoyed his words and thoughts and presence. No one else had ever really seemed to enjoy Charlie’s presence. They could tolerate it, handle it, but they always had more pressing matters. A business meeting to attend, a bill to pay, a dinner to go to. Always something just a little bit more important and never quite enough time for Charlie. But the other Dead Poets, they valued him. He wasn’t just a kid, a college tuition to pay and a life to layout. He was a person, with interests and hobbies.

      It had been there, in the safe haven of the cave, that the idea for the library first came up. Meeks had already talked Pitts into coming, Neil didn’t take much convincing at all, Todd was also easy to lure, Cameron groaned about leaving school grounds but refused to be left out, and Knox agreed to go but only if Nuwanda came too. Charlie had already started to cover what there was to do at a library, read?

      Meeks dove into the technical manuals and Pitts followed tentatively, cradling their science project in his arms. Todd had followed Neil to the S authors, Cameron was trying to chat up the woman at the register, and God only knew what Knox was doing. He had been stranded with few options. He could find the geniuses and be talked over for the next hour or third wheel Neil but that guaranteed intruding on something he probably shouldn’t. The polite thing to do would be to rescue Cameron from making a complete fool of himself, throwing bad pick up lines at a clearly uninterested college student, but it was amusing to watch.

      Charlie settled on trying to find Knox, at least then he could have some company. Said company was absolutely nowhere to be found. The rows of shelves wound in a confusing maze and Charlie was lost before he could even begin to look. Weaving around he did come face-to-face with a rather large picture of Charles Dickens that made him recoil. It was perched just at eye level above a short staircase and it seemed to judge his every movement. Charlie followed the carpeted stairs down to escape Mister Dickens’ strange little beard and beady black eyes.

      The further down the steps Charlie descended the brighter it appeared. The lower level was the children’s section. Considerably more fun than science books or Shakespeare. The big oak counter was abandoned but the lights were still on. He was alone, still.

      Charlie sighed, sitting down in one of the bright red wooden chairs. He was much too big for it but it held well under his weight. A sad stuffed bear stared dully into him from the green glossy table.

      “Well hello,” He mumbled, picking it up under the arms, “And you must be?” He cleared his throat to take on a gruff baritone, “Mister... Bearington,” Charlie sighed, that was bad. He dropped the bear into his lap, “This is so stupid,”

      “Bearington?”

      Charlie shot around in the chair, tipping himself off center and stumbling to his feet, bear still clutched in his arms, “Where the hell did you come from?”

      “A few blocks over, walked here actually.” You turned back to your work. A painting. Not just a painting, Charlie realized, a mural. It stretched the length of the wall, roughly sketched in pencil and waiting to be finished.

      He blinked, “That’s good. The wall I mean,”

      “Thank you,” Your face flustered and Charlie took notice, “It’s not much of anything yet, just an outline. It’ll look better painted.”

      He took a few steps closer, sidling up to you, “What’s it supposed to be?”

      “A forest,” You pointed to a rotund blob perched on a long line, “That’s an owl, and there’s going to be a fox somewhere down in the grass,”

      Charlie grinned, “That’s an owl?”

      “That-” you tapped the blob, “Is a shape, objectively. Subjectively, it’s an owl.”

      His brow creased, “Subjectively it’s an owl? That's like saying Mister Bearington is a rabbit, subjectively,”

      You stared at him, baffled. It was almost irritating that he could so casually come down to your domain and invade your creative bubble. And it was even worse that he talked to himself as a stuffed bear but now he was challenging your judgment on what was and was not subjectively an owl. But he had a wonderful smile and it lessened the intrusion. Plus, you had never seen a teenage boy develop an attachment to a stuffed bear as quickly as he had, “What’s your name?”

      “Nuwanda,” He grinned, setting his chin atop his bear’s plush head.

      “Nuwanda?” You blinked at him, “That’s… neat. I’ve never heard that before.”

      “What can I say? The only Nuwanda this side of Vermont. What’s your name?”

      As you opened your mouth to answer several sets of footsteps thundered down the stairs. Knox spun around the corner first, closely followed by Pitts and Meeks.

      “Charlie!” Knox called, “We gotta go before Cameron proposes to the clerk.”

      You looked at the boy in front of you, “Is Charlie short for Nuwanda, or just a nickname?”

      He shrugged, “I’m Nuwanda, subjectively. It was truly a pleasure meeting you. Can’t wait to see your thing DaVinci!” He set the stuffed bear back on the table as he made his way out of the room. With Charlie’s energy gone it became much quieter and you were plunged back into the impressionistic outline of your artwork.

      The next time a library trip was suggested Charlie didn’t completely dread it. Yes, it was still numbingly boring because it was a library and he didn’t have clerks to fall in love with, people to write love letters to, anyone to kiss in the aisles, or a spaceship to build, but he did have his own personal Van Gough to torment.

      The lower level was the first place he went, not even hanging his coat on the rack inside the big double doors. He made his way past Cameron’s preoccupied receptionist and under Dickens’ hard glower. Halfway down the steps, the smell hit Charlie. Wet paint.

      You had just picked out a brush when he pulled one of the wooden chairs next to your station. He sat in it backwards, holding Mister Bearington out in front of him, “Never got your name Monet,”

      “Well, it's not that. Or Da Vinci.” You stroked the brush up the grassy outline.

      “Do you want me to guess?”

      You had yet to look at him, “Nope,”

      “Are you gonna tell me?”

      “Should I?”

      “Obviously, I told you my name.”

      You set the brush down and turned to face him, “(Name).”

      “Pretty,”

      Charlie Dalton liked many things and the musty old library uptown had never been one of them. It had ancient red carpets and gaudy gold ceilings and it was trying too hard to look regal. So it was a sheer shock when he began to leap at the suggestion of going and even more so when he chose to go by himself one afternoon. Naturally, the other poets followed him, they had to.

      Charlie didn’t dally upstairs, waving hi to the clerk and rushing down to the children’s section. A sign was posted outside the entrance warning of wet paint but he stepped around it.

      “You’re making progress Picasso!” He set his hands on his hips and took in the wall.

      You turned back to look at him, “Did you not see the caution: wet paint, do not enter sign?”

      “Oh no I saw it,” He pushed his sunglasses up on top of his head, “It's bright orange, hard to miss, really,”

      “So you just chose to ignore it?”

      He nodded, making his way over to sit by you on the ground, “I choose to ignore lots of things, it really makes life easier,”

      You shook your head, “Are you just going to sit here and bother me?”

      “Yes, that's actually the whole reason I came today, believe it or not.”

      You blubbered in vague disbelief, “Please tell me you’re not serious,”

      “Dead serious,” Charlie grinned, leaning closer, “I had to see how your weird owl was going. And also make sure you hadn’t gone mad and cut your own ear off yet,”

      “You’ve already used the Van Gogh joke, Charles,”

      “Maybe I want your ear,”

      You paused, “You… what?”

      Charlie’s confidence cracked, “That was bad. Shit, that wasn’t supposed to sound that way. It was like, a bad pickup line? Because Van Gogh cut his ear off to send to his girlfriend,” He sighed, shaking his head, “Sorry,”

      “I mean if I had to pick someone to give my ear too I guess you would be my first choice?”

      Charlie looked at you, eyebrows pinched together, “Why?”

      You shrugged, “No one else has asked, first come first serve.” You dipped your brush back into the blue paint and went to work on a patch of flowers.

      “Huh, well I do appreciate it,” Charlie scooted closer, leaning over your shoulder. He was close, very close. When you took a breath you could smell his cologne and whatever it was he used in his hair and you could feel the edge of his sunglasses brush your ear. He brought an arm around to dip his finger into the soft sky colour on your palette. And then he wiped it on your nose.

      You gasped sharply at the foreign feeling, snapping your head to the side to glare at him, “Why?!”

      Charlie snickered, leaning back, “The opportunity presented itself, how could I just let that pass?”

      You reached back, squirting a touch of purple paint over the palm of your hand, “That was truly a horrible idea,”

      Charlie shot up just as you did, stumbling backwards, “I’m sorry-” He stuck his hands up in surrender, “I regret my actions and if I could take them back I would,”

      “Hmm, but you can’t” You took a step closer, “Surrender now and it doesn’t have to get any messier than this,”

      He pointed towards your paint coated hand, “Do not,”

      You grinned, “I might,”

      “I’m begging,”

      “Fine-” You offered him your other hand, “Truce?”

      Charlie mulled it over for a moment, “Fine, truce,” He grabbed your clean hand and you used it to pull him towards you.

          “Why on earth would you trust me?” You tugged him even closer as he shrieked and smeared your hand down his cheek, “There, now we’re even,”

      Getting distracted by your triumph gave Charlie the upper hand. He pulled you to him the same you had done to him and pressed his cheek flush to yours. The paint was cold against your skin and you jolted back, away from him.

      “Vile,” You hissed, “You are vile and evil. That's so cold. You will pay, I hope you know that.”

      Charlie snorted, “Oh please, what’re you gonna do?”

      “You underestimate me, you ass, I’ll figure something out,”

      “Will you?” Charlie grinned, “I will be waiting in anticipation,”

      “You better be,”

      Meeks elbowed back into Cameron’s ribs, “You’re going to knock me over,”

      Cameron craned his neck further to peek around the corner into the children’s section, “I just want to see, let me look,”

      “Nothing is happening-” Meeks snipped, “They’re just talking now and I might be able to hear if you could can it!”

      Cameron rolled his eyes, “Of course, whatever you say,”

      “Will you shut up?” Knox batted at Cameron’s shoulder, “They’ll see us, we’re not super well hidden,”

      “If you don’t stop talking they’ll realize we’re here,” Pitts mumbled, rolling his eyes. Cameron started to rebuttal, turning to look at Gerard but the motion knocked Meeks out of place and he gasped, stumbling forwards. This did indeed draw Charlie’s attention.

      “Meeks, what the hell?” Charlie snapped. He was in a state, sunglasses askew in his hair, paint smeared from his cheekbone down to the corner of his mouth, and his shirt was wrinkled away from his collarbone.

      Meeks stared, “Hi Charlie. Are there any textbooks down here, uh… the science ones?”

      Knox groaned, stepping out from behind the wall as well, “We wanted to see why you came here on a Tuesday afternoon by yourself,”

      Charlie blubbered, “Did you all come? Is Keating there too?”

      “He could be,” Meeks shrugged.

      Charlie rolled his eyes, “Will you leave, I’ll be upstairs in a second,” The other poets nodded, scampering up the steps to the first level.

      “Assholes, should have known they’d come,” Charlie sighed, adjusting the sunglasses atop his head, “I need to go before they decide to intrude again. I’ll see you soon though, anxiously anticipating payback,”

      He was almost out the door when you bucked up the courage to call out to him, “Charlie, wait.” You let him turn back to you before continuing, “Could I have your phone number?”

      He clicked his teeth, “Don’t have one, private school. But I’ll find the library number in the books and try to shoot you a call sometime,” He winked and started back up to his friends.

      Knox was waiting at the landing with a handful of tissues, which he shoved into Charlie’s hands, “So you’re gonna read your stupid poem about tits at a Dead Poets meet and then not tell us you’ve got a girlfriend?”

      Charlie grabbed the tissues, “Not my girlfriend, I meet her like two weeks ago,”

      “Didn’t stop Knox,” Neil elbowed him.

      Charlie wiped at his face, “Well I’m not Knox. I like her painting, she's good.”

      “It looks like she was painting you,” Cameron slapped at Charlie’s chest and he threw the tissues at him in retaliation.

      “Shut up, at least my library worker actually talks to me,”

      Cameron fumbled with the dirty material, batting it away from his chest, “You dick!”

      Charlie grinned, pulling his glasses down and starting towards the door. Something about it was thrilling, having this to himself. A little secret that he and you shared. His personal Salvador Dalí, something to look forwards to besides bad tobacco and Keating’s eccentric lectures. It was bright and exciting and he felt seen. He felt important. The blue paint he had stolen from your tray was still on the tip of his pointer finger and he wondered how long it would be until he could see you again.

 ( @interwebseriesfan24 )

[flowerflamestars]

i remember that you once said something about privateer nesta could you elaborate? please? *shrek cat eyes*

WHO TOLD YOU I AM COMPLETELY VULNERABLE TO THE CAT EYES??

okay, so admittedly I don't remember the context in which I said this?? But I still SUPER super love the idea

and it matches with what we'll call the Dream ACOTAR Extended Universe Plot, almost canon.

We begin with the final battle against Hybern. Tamlin dies, closing the loop of his tragic, misspent life. Amren stays dead, a magical being on to the next adventure.

Rhysand stays dead.

He functionally (magically) threw himself on a bomb, and took the whole blast. He's not the Cauldron- and no one man could repair what it once was, but he could contain the fatal, drastic implosion of an object that was meant to endure forever, fractured into more and more peices.

Why is this important?

Because it leaves a world where Feyre Archeron- twenty-ish, romantic hero, prop, prisoner- becomes High Lady in her own, true right.

(I don't think she's necessarily good at this job, because why would she be? It's not even her fault- Feyre has no idea about how faery politics work, no real tangible knowledge of her own inherited kingdom.)

But both the men who stole her and defined her and loved her and hurt her are dead.

And it not only sets her on a journey to become, on her own, an actual character in her own life, but it galvanizes the Archeron sisters.

Feyre's basically fucking comatose after the battle. Elain has been a mess this entire time, but after that last fight with Grayson, walking into the war and stabbing a king in the throat- she is as vital and herself as Nesta has seen her in years.

Nesta just watched her father die and felt nothing- and she hates herself for it. She and Elain had taken the head of the man who stole everything from them- and she doesn't have a single regret.

Feyre screamed until she could no longer- there's so much magic seething out her it hurts to look at-

There's a dark well inside herself that could rise. But why should Nesta let it? So what, if she doesn't mourn her father? He'd never cared about her and Elain- not when they were young, too busy and important to even speak to his own children. Not when they lost everything, and he'd tried one last time to sell them both into marriages to recoup the family loss. Not after, in the starving cold, no matter what she'd tried to force him into action.

Nesta had been mourning all along a human girls human life- what is an absent, neglectful, shitty in the most ordinary of ways human parent if not a part of that lost future?

Their sister owns a fucking country- their sister is, at this minute so hemmed in by her followers no one can see her, much less comfort her- there's a war camp falling apart around them- there's Nesta, Elain, and Azriel, unhurt, upright, alive.

(she does not let herself think that an hour before she'd been ready to die and thought it right, the ending the meant to be conclusion of her story. she does not think about how she'd wished Cassian healed beneath her hands and that he had healed, that she'd wept to learn she could do more than destroy.

that she'd still been weeping, her mouth bright with his blood, when he'd pulled away, dragged himself to Morrigan's waiting arms)

Nesta Archeron is alive. Her sisters are alive. They're free, and she'll be fucking damned if this all falls apart before Feyre can heal.

Nesta turns to Azriel and asks if he can take control of the legions.

She has no time for his blank, angry eyes- she knows he's hurt, he's mourning, he's lost- but she needs him. Cassian's...down. Rhys is dead. Feyre and Morrigan are not coming out of that tent.

And he just listens. Thoughtfully. Asks what Nesta intends to do.

And Nesta looks at Elain- soft, kind, gentle Elain who'd never once wavered now when life was on the line. Who hadn't cried a tear for their father, or for the man who'd kidnapped and then married their baby sister.

The danger wasn't over- and neither had the steel faded from Elain's spine.

Nesta tells Azriel she's going to find Keir.

Nesta isn't blind- she's walked the Hewn City, spoken to the eldest darkness. She was also at the joke of a Summit- Autumn wants new territory, Keir wants to rule Night. And here Night is, weakened, a lamb to slaughter.

Nesta's not going to lose again- she's not going to give these ancient, cruel lords another chance.

Elain grabbed her hand and squeezed- the one person, always, who Nesta never need explain herself to.

Aren't the High Fae technically Morrigan's Elain asked, a bare whisper as they walked through the camp.

It went without saying yes, but Nesta had never seen any indication they respected her enough to listen to her. She made a face, and Elain made one right back, rueful. She had eyes too, after all.

They're not going to listen to us in these clothes, Elain also told her.

She was right, of course. They were High Fae, and that mattered to those vile pricks, but they'd been outfitted for flight. She would do almost anything, actually, to be free of leather pants.

Which Elain, a gleam in her eye that Nesta was learning meant magic, dreamy and happy- led her precisely to a gold topped tent, stepped inside, bowed, and asked without a trace of hesitation if Helion Spellcleaver, Lord of Day, would perhaps do them the favor of loaning them some garments.

Solid gold eyes gleaming against blood and smoke tinged dark skin, beautiful, glorious Helion, smiled.

Day-white against Night- but also, Nesta knew, taking care with her crown of a braid, the splatter of blood left on her throat, her mouth, her cheeks like fine paint- white was the color of death.

Elain covered herself completely- shawl wrapped over her hair, tucked around her neck, breathing easier now, in human modesty- but hung from a golden belt that Helion, with the clear air of someone who knew something about seers, had found, metal hammered with stars and flames, was Truthteller, the long blade without a sheathe, black metal swallowing up light.

Keir was easy to find, and in fine form, surrounded by Darkbringers, who looped back behind the sisters the second they were close.

Nesta was not afraid- she'd thrown power into the sky and it had hurt. Not in depth, but because she was still holding on- it wanted out-it wanted to devour-

Elain dipped a flagrantly rude, swallow bob of a curtsey. Nesta didn't even bother- just let Keir hail them, royal family that they were. He liked the sound of his own voice, but he was also clever- they'd come here of their own volition and now they were trapped.

She could smell the reinforcements, the utter Autumn reek.

Nesta interrupted, and asked Keir to come and swear fealty to her sister.

It was never going to get the right answer, but it had to be said. It had to be heard.

She'd been right- they'd been right- Keir enjoyed the cruelty of getting close to Nesta, denying straight to her Archeron face that no, Rhysand's bloodline was ended. It was time, it was right, for the House of Truth to once more hold their throne.

He spoke his treason aloud, looming over Nesta- close enough to touch.

So Nesta did.

She'd willed Cassian alive and whole. It was so, so much easier to remember fire, death, drowning, to push and want the revolting man's destruction.

And when he fell, silvered fire that had filled his lungs spilling from his throat, Nesta did not flinch. She looked to the next lieutenant, a frankly indistinguishable golden haired pale-eyed blandly handsome man in black armor, and asked, if he, as the new commander of the Darkbringers, would like to give a different answer.

He did.

Azriel met them halfway back to Feyre, grim mouth flickering for a second at the sight of Elain, before looking, stone-faced, at Nesta beside her, leading a crowd of the highest ranked Night Court faeries she could find.

Keir? He asked.

Dead, Elain answered, and that was that.

The Shadowsinger fell in step with the Seer, a threatening shadow to two pale beacons.

It was Azriel who actually went inside the tent. Who said what needed to said, what made Morrigan splutter loudly enough to be heard outside, before she burst out the tent in a whorl of hair, before blanching.

Nesta had just enough control not to roll her eyes. They come to swear fealty.

And Morrigan, chewing her lip with all the dignity of a child- Elain and Nesta had been trained out of such gestures at eight, what did she think was happening here? - shook her head. She's not well, it can wait.

No, Azriel said, from behind her, it can't.

He was supporting what looked like the entirety of Feyre's weight. Dead-white, blue eyes a blaze, Feyre looked blearily out at all of them like she recognized no one.

Elain, treasure that she was, came forward to take her sister's other hand, whispering both condolence and explanation.

And so the High Houses of Night knelt in battlefield mud, and swore eternal loyalty to the youngest Archeron.

It was only after they were gone that Nesta hugged her sister- hard enough Feyre protested, a fresh batch of tears soaking Nesta's shoulder even before Elain joined them.

It's Azriel, voice a little less like a phantom, who tells Feyre they're handling things. That if she wants to rest more, that's fine.

She was so clearly shattered- Nesta half wondered how much of that Azriel can literally feel/hear with his shadow...things.

Feyre protests that there's things to do- Feyre makes it halfway through a sentence about plans before she says Rhysand's name like he's still alive and collapses in on herself like a wave crashing.

Nesta and Elain tuck Feyre back into the blanket pile. Nesta manages to kiss her forehead before Morrigan is there, hugging Feyre putting herself bodily between the sisters.

They leave, and outside, Azriel is waiting.

To hand Nesta a gaudy, enormous platinum ring. The seal of the Night Court- Nesta recognizes it from shipping manifests, but she'd never actually seen it as an adult. Here, as a faery.

Her thoughts on Azriel's powers hold true, as he answers the dismay: Rhys only used it when he had to. It had passed between the whole Court of Dreams hands, there had not been a vizier, a lord of stars, since the time of Rhysand's father.

Nesta puts on the hideous ring, barely flinching at the brush of magic, it resizing to her hand.

Elain grasps her other, squeezing, and asks Azriel who is next.

They work ceaselessly, pausing only to sleep. Azriel, Nesta is quite sure, isn't sleeping at all- until she goes looking for him with a question and finds him finally, finally out cold, face tucked in Lucien Vanserra's neck.

In silence and gestures, they come to something of an agreement- and when the Night Court comes to the table to talk peace, it's with Lucien. Jurian, who Nesta immediately liked.

By the time they return to the North, there is not a Lord one who does not know the names and nightmarish qualities of all three Archeron sisters.

Feyre mourns, and learns to govern slow. Cassian goes back to Illyria and does not return for a long, long time. Morrigan becomes Feyre's second- Nesta laughs, not altogether kind, when Lucien tells her this. No one has been able to answer her as to why, if Morrigan is so powerful, why did she not fight? what does she actually do?

What answers to her questions she does find are appalling. Why does Winter block our every turn? oh, Rhysand killed more than a dozen children. Why is Summer refusing our trade? Well, Rhysand stole their ancestral pride. Why is the Hewn City so wrathful at even the slightest form of intervention? Because Rhysand had left Keir to rule alone.

Nesta doesn't want to rule the fucking court. She thinks she could leave all of these politicians to rot- but she won't let Feyre misstep her way to death, shouldering a burden of her dead mate.

There's nothing they can give Winter but apology and so that's what Nesta does. On her knees, in a gilded palace of ice, stars caught in her hair and the seal on her. Kallias, bright and young, seems to know something about inherited problems- he does not ever forget, but he forgives, at least, the Archerons.

Summer is more complicated- but Nesta does what she can. Gives them every melted, ruined piece of the Book. Offers reparations for the next millennia. Ends up paying for what she is appalled and embarrassed to learn is a two hundred year old debt for a building the head of the Night Court's armed forces- Cassian, fucking Cassian the ghost haunting Nesta- had destroyed. During a brawl. At a solstice party.

She deals only with Cressieda, and they come to understand each other very well.

Nesta was not raised for politics and bullshit- her mother wanted her to marry a crown, but Nesta wanted the family empire. Trade. The Archeron legacy, denied to a girl. She likes Summer more than any place in Prythian, and she doesn't hide that. She relearns old lessons of tide and routes in secret, before Cressieda reveals that of course, she knows who the Archerons were.

It goes well, until Morrigan finds out what she's been doing, and tells Feyre.

The youngest Archeron had been doing better. Morrigan has been right by her side, through everything. Cassian is in Illyria, and Feyre understands why, writing him letters. She writes letters to Rhys too, if only to have a way to direct the words.

Azriel, spectral and busy she sees the least of, but Feyre never doubts his presence, keeping her safe. Elain comes, drags her out into sunlight, brings Lucien and it makes Feyre happy to see them together. Nesta comes too, with them both and alone, with papers from Feyre to sign, with affection sharp-edged but true.

Feyre knows she owes them all more than can be said- she's not stupid, she knows they're keeping Night together. That slowly those responsibilities will fall to her, when she's ready.

She does not think about how much of those responsibilities is cleaning up the tangled mess of betrayal Rhysand left behind. In her head, there is only Rhys- beloved and shadowed, kind and tortured.

Until Morrigan tells her that it's been acknowledged, in public, by Night, that Rhysand was a thief, and a murder of children.

Feyre loses her shit.

Rhysand had done what he had to. Who was Nesta, to say such things? She'd always hated Rhys. Rhys had always hated her, maybe he was right- the children. Rhys had mourned them in screaming nightmares, but he hadn't hurt them-

(Feyre does not stop to think it strange, that Rhys could have nightmares of memories not his own. That he might have fractured just a bit, under Amarantha. That the Red Lady had no daemati- that was why she'd kept Rhys all along.)

The fight is as ugly as can be imagined. And what proceeds is of course, worse. Feyre says terrible things she will ultimately regret and apologize for, but what becomes clear is that Morrigan thinks that Nesta means to hold power forever.

That she's taken advantage.

And Cassian, called home by rage, believes her.

That is, more than her ungrateful sister, more than the ongoing weight of cleaning up after a man she despised for good reason, the end of Nesta Archeron's Night Court career.

She'd thought she loved him- she'd been willing to die with him- but they'd lived. This was the life, the next life, and what did he think of her? That Nesta was a power hungry snob. That she was paying too much heed to politics.

That Nesta belonged quietly at home. That she should have learned to fight somewhere along that way- a point so convoluted it made Lucien laugh- that she hadn't learned anything that mattered.

That she had no right to kill Keir, because it had hurt Morrigan.

Had he ever, Nesta would wonder later, even liked her? Enjoyed anything about her but for that magical tether, telling him he was blessed with something special?

Nesta was something special, and she knew it.

And so she returned the ring to Azriel, packed up her possessions, and left.

First to Day, where Elain had bought a house. Fury and tears both met the explanation of what happened- fury and tears that turned to getting inadvisably drunk in sunlight, when Lucien and Azriel snuck away to join them.

For the first time in Nesta's adult life, she had no obligations. Magic, money, freedom- the whole world was out there.

She stopped wearing black. Learned pants where actually lovely, when they fit correctly and weren't made of leather. Learned Azriel could laugh, and Lucien was as clever as she'd always thought.

She read books, she ate fruit, she took Helion up on several of his more lascivious offers.

She thought of Cassian, and it ached, but not enough to go backward.

Elain's house was by the sea, right on the water. The scent of salt reminded Nesta of Summer- but also of her oldest, most secret dreams. The warehouses of goods, like mysteries to solve. The account books she stole, learning by candlelight the trade in her blood.

Ten years after the war, Nesta bought a ship.

She set out to be a merchant, use what she knew, but what happened was this: Nesta Archeron did not care anymore for rules. And so when she came upon Hybernian remnants-for they were an island kingdom, even more one with the water than Prythian- pillaging a Summer town, she destroyed them.

She stole their treasure, gave much of it back to the people.

Found, unexpected, that she had much more of a taste for marauding than she would have expected. There was still trade of course- proft made and shared- but Summer needed someone willing to do some destroying out on the sea.

Twelve years after the war, Nesta Archeron became a privateer under the Summer flag, pearls in her hair and a true smile on her lips.

Things grew, as all things do. Feyre wrestled herself the reins of government, stymied by the councils Nesta and Azriel set up as much as she often was by Azriel himself out of truly petulant action. Morrigan remained second, golden blades bright as her gowns within reach. Cassian became a sort of seneschal, reigning over Illyria in Feyre's name cold and alone as the wind through the mountains.

(Feyre thought he might never get over the war, but Azriel knew the truth.)

Elain took herself wherever the future led, a sort of mediator and councilor, walking in all Courts- but always back to home, that isolated green, green cove, where Nesta would land.

When war came again, there was no great Lordly alliance, no cut-throat summit. There was a fleet of ships whose sails where edged in purple, whose announcement across the water was silver fire, whose accompaniment were monsters of old.

Violence did not touch Prythians human shore, because Nesta Archeron did not let it.

She was death on the tide, and she remembered what shores had borne her.

She had a home in Summer, a place in Day, her family across the continent- she had her ships, full of faeries from every walk of life, who wanted as she did the freedom as much as the profit, the endless, endless blue, where sea meets sky.

It was eternity, and the Archeron sisters, free, had made it their own.

[illogicalpunkwrites]

Diplomacy

Hello! Hope everyone is doing well! This is another McCoy fic and I’ve got one for Scotty in the works. Enjoy and thank you so much for reading!

Pairings: Leonard McCoy x Reader

Rating: M (18+)

Warnings: Smut, cursing, jealousy, angst, fluff, the whole works

Words: 4.3k

Tags: @bloodangelballerina​ @theweepingvulcan91​

You groaned as you read the message from Jim, already trying to find a way out of it. 

All commanding officers were to go to a Gala on the metropolitan planet of TIbbea. Meaning, you’d have to dress up and attempt to kiss ass to uphold the reputation of Star Fleet. 

Fantastic.

XXXXXX

You sat next to Leonard as you sipped the brandy he’d pulled out from his cabinet, some oldies playing in the background. You and Leonard had grown close, surprising everyone by becoming good friends despite the rocky beginnings. Bickering had given way to teasing, but that wasn’t to say that the bickering ended. 

“So I take it you’re not looking forward to tomorrow?” He asked and you snorted.

“Absolutely not. They also still haven’t given me a new dress uniform so I’ve got to wear the most uncomfortable thing on the planet. Thankfully, it’s just black but I prefer slacks over that thing any day.”

“Hey, I hate that monkey suit. I think I’d rather wear a dress.” You laughed and rested your head on his shoulder.

“We can always switch.”

“Nah, I don’t think I could pull it off.” He replied and you two simply listened to the music. While ancient country wasn’t your taste, you had made Leonard watch enough of your movies that you owed him some of your time. “At least you can dance, right?”

“Can you?” He made a more or less sign. “I don’t really like to. I’ll stay near the bar and appetizers. Maybe you’ll meet some nice Orion girl to dance with.”

“I’ll just stay at the bar with you, darlin;. Maybe a Ferengi will woo you off your feet.” You snickered into your drink. 

“If they buy me a drink, sure.” There was a comfortable silence between the two of you, but you didn’t notice Leonard’s heart nearly beating out of his chest. You only noticed something was off when he dragged his hand over his face. “You alright?”

“Uh, yeah. I was actually wondering if any of the other officers asked you to be their...accompany them to the gala?”

“No, why?”

“How about you go with me? Seems like we both want the same thing of staying out of the way and drinking them out of the house.” He joked. You hoped he didn’t notice your cheeks heating up as you looked back down into your glass.

“Sounds great, Len.” 

Stars, he loved it when he called you that.

XXXXXX

The hall was ornately decorated with white walls and gold accents, a grand staircase, and breathtaking portraits of previous rulers of the planet. It seemed like it was something out of a fairy tale or a palace from Europe. Star Fleet took you to so many places but you never thought you would be in as nice a place as this. 

You squirmed a little outside of the grand hall, the straps of your heels digging into your ankles, the garter belt that held your phaser chafing against your other thigh. Nyota and Janice had a lot of fun helping you get ready, an unspoken giddiness between the two. When you probed them as to why they were so adamant about getting you ready, they simply smiled and said “no reason”. Luckily for them, Spock had chosen to take Nyota as his date and Hikaru had kindly asked Janice to be his. 

You had to admit they had done a great job but you weren’t surprised. Their makeup and hair were always impeccable.

You didn’t notice Leonard standing behind you and staring at you. He was in awe of how you looked. He always thought you looked beautiful but seeing you in your onyx gown was something else. It hugged you in the right places, showed off your shoulders with the loose sleeves, and the slit up your leg made you look like a goddess. 

Dear God you were going to be the death of him. 

You fixed your hair a little before you felt a tap on your shoulder. You spun to see Leonard in his dress uniform. While you knew he hated the monkey suit, he looked so handsome. His eyes were even brighter than usual and he had run just a little bit more gel through his hair. 

“Hello there.” You greeted. He looked you up and down and you ran your hands over the silky material of the skirt. “Told you it was awful.”

“What’re you talking about? You look...you look gorgeous, darlin’.” Your eyes widened and you knew he saw the blush on your chest and cheeks. 

“You don’t look too bad yourself.” He offered you his arm and you took it, walking into the grand hall and looking out for your crewmates. You took note of the many different races that were there and the line to great the king and queen. 

“Jim needs a chair like that.” You commented, looking at the throne that was decorated with the overarching symbol of the national Tibbean religion. It was imposing to say the least and you wondered if it would even fit in the transporter room. 

“What? So his ego can get bigger?” You both chuckled and made your way down the stairs and towards the bar. 

“I see we’re sticking to the plan?” You asked.

“Wouldn’t have it any other way. Old fashioned, right?” You smiled, loving how he remembered your favorite cocktail. 

“Yes please.” He ordered that for you and boulevardier for him. One of the bartenders quickly made them and slid them over to the two of you, the glasses heavy and almost a little gaudy. 

“To drinking them out of the house!” He toasted and you chuckled.

“To drinking them out of their palace.” You corrected. You sipped your cocktail and, though you had many before, it was the best old fashioned you’d ever had. “Damn that’s good. I gotta figure out what bourbon they used.”

“I doubt you’d be able to afford it, darlin’.” 

“Hey, if I take more credits from Scotty in poker I just might.” He scooted closer to you so you were practically resting against him. 

“You gotta teach me your tricks.” “What? And let you take away my credits? I don’t think so.” You responded cheekily. You watched as Jim approached the king and queen, supposedly thanking them for their invite and talking up Star Fleet. 

“It isn’t even a game for you anymore! You win every time.” He complained and you laughed.

“Doctor McCoy, I don’t play games. Poker is just a means to an end to be able to get everyone’s credits.” 

“Never took you for a scrooge. You can tell me something”

“I never realized you were so whiny.” You replied and his jaw dropped in feigned shock. “Oh shut it, you know it’s true. ‘Jim, I’m a doctor not a brick layer. Spock you realize this is impossible. (Y/N) you need to be more careful’. Dammit Jim can’t you-” He elbowed you a little and you laughed, his arm going around your shoulders. 

“You two certainly look like you’re having fun.” Jim said as he approached with the other members of the crew that had beamed down. You both sipped on your drinks as the others talked about how beautiful the planet was. Scotty was impressed with their liquor selection just like you were, Janice couldn’t believe her eyes when she saw the paintings, Nyota was in awe of the poetic music that played, and Hikaru was obsessed with the native plants that nearly glowed with color. 

“Please Spock, dance with me.” Nyota begged, already a little tipsy. She was always a lightweight, ever since meeting her your first day on the Enterprise.

“Of course, ashayam.” He replied and held out his arm for her to take and lead her to the floor. You and Leonard looked at each other, hardly believing the Vulcan could be so smooth. 

“Miss Rand, if I may.” Sulu offered his hand, Janice laughing as she took it. Scotty lead Lieutenant Mira, Jim grabbed Carol, which eaft you and Leonard against the bar still. You were feeling the effects of your second old fashioned and decided “to hell with it”.

“Len, come dance with me.” He sputtered into his drink and quickly wiped his chin. 

“Uh, I thought you didn’t dance.”

“I never said that, I just never answered your question. So will you dance with me?” You replied, placing your glass down and reaching to grab his hands.  “Well...Look darlin’-”

“I’ll dance with you.” A deep voice called. You turned to see a  Daliwakan leaning against the bar near you. “I’m Ivvoid, junior ambassador to the Daliwakans.” 

“It’s very nice to meet you.” You introduced yourself and your rank aboard the Enterprise. 

“Dr. McCoy, CMO of the Enterprise.” He introduced and you didn’t fail to miss how his chest seemed to literally puff up. 

“Come, Commander. Indulge in me a little and dance.” Before you could object, he grabbed your elbow and led you to the floor. His other hand quickly went to your waist as you stepped in time to the music.

“You have to forgive me, I’m not a talented dancer.” You told him sheepishly, keeping in mind you had to keep up a diplomatic presence. You wished Leonard was with you instead. 

“To be honest, neither am I. But who ever heard of an ambassador who couldn’t dance?” You laughed softly at him as he lead the little waltz you were having. You could practically feel Leonard’s eyes on you. “Who is the CMO to you?”

“What?”

“Who is he to you? Just a crewmate?” He replied and you furrowed your brows at him.

“Why do you ask?”

“Well, if I wish to get to know you better I would want to know whether you are spoken for or not.” He replied bluntly. You were a little stunned, something unusual for you. You didn’t realize that was a trait amongst the Daliwakans.

“Well, he is my date for the night.” You explained and you saw the ridges on his forehead raise.

“Just for the night then? You two aren’t together?” 

“Well no, I don’t suppose we are.” You replied honestly.

“Fantastic! You know, back on my planet women-”

XXXXXX

Nyota looked over at Spock’s shoulder to see Leonard still leaning against the bar while you danced with someone else. She knew that there was something going on between the two of you, but you were both too stubborn and blind to do anything. If he wasn’t going to do anything, she would just have to push him.

“Spock, let’s move near Doctor McCoy.”

“Are you planning something?” Nyota smiled up at him and he did as she asked. “Doctor.” 

“Spock, Uhura.” Leonard replied as he sipped on his third drink of the night. He saw how flustered you were getting and couldn’t help the pang of jealousy in his chest. 

“Leonard, why don’t you go over there? She obviously doesn’t want to be there.”

“What’re you talking about? She’s laughing at everything he says and hasn’t stopped dancing with him.” He grumbled. 

“Perhaps she is merely trying to be diplomatic. It’s hard to reject an offer from an ambassador.” Spock replied and Nyota grabbed his hand in a Vulcan kiss, showing that he had done a good job. 

“Nah, she likes him.” She looked over again and saw how stiff you were. Sometimes she really wanted to slap Leonard for not catching on to the obvious things. 

“Really? You think so? Maybe she just needs someone else to go save her, be assertive! Go over there!” Leonard polished off his glass and moved away from the bar.

“Nah, leave her be.” She looked up at Spock and he led her back to the dance floor, hoping to lift her spirits again. Nyota looked across to Janice who sported a disappointed look on her face.  XXXXXX

You looked away from the ambassador to see Leonard going back up the stairs of the grand hall. Your eyes widened and you mouth went slightly agape. You let go of the ambassador’s hand and, against his protests, quickly made your way through the crowd.

“Wait, Commander!”

“I’m sorry, I have to go!” You caught Leonard going around a corner and followed him, wondering where he could possibly be going. He went up another set of stairs and you followed, but he had gone into one of the many rooms before you could see which one. You opened each one, looking around, before you found a study. You saw his back turned towards you as he leaned with his palms against a desk. The window in front of him showing the dark purple sky with triple moons illuminating his figure. 

“Dammit.” He sighed to himself and you quietly closed the door behind you.

“Hey, I thought we were going to drink the entire bar?” You joked but he didn’t laugh. You approached him and rubbed his shoulder. “What’s wrong? Are you alright?”

“I’m fine.” He bit back. You stepped back a little but your hands didn’t leave him. “I’m sorry. Go back downstairs, have fun.”

“I was having fun with you.”

“You were having fun with the ambassador.” He replied and you rolled your eyes.

“He was cocky and dull.”

“You laughed an awful lot.” He scoffed. You pulled away from him and crossed your arms across your chest.

“Doctor McCoy, are you jealous?” You teased, but your teasing nature went away when he didn’t say anything. “Len-”

“Darlin’, I’m fine. I just need a minute.” 

“No you don’t.” He turned to see you. Again, he couldn’t help thinking how beautiful you looked against the purple light. “What’s going on? We were having fun, I asked you to dance with me and you didn’t want to, the ambassador didn’t even really ask just took me over, now you’re upset.”

“I never said I didn’t want to dance with you.” He said. “I just didn’t have the...”

“Balls?” He finally laughed a little at that.

“Yeah. He kinda stepped in before I could finally get some.” You heard the music lightly coming through the door and walked over to him, grabbing his arms to wrap them around your waist and you locked yours around his neck. 

“There we go. That’s better.” You said. He rested his forehead against yours and you closed your eyes. You swayed together to the faint music, breathing in his musky cologne and your warm and spicy perfume. His arms tightened around you so the tips of your noses touched. You opened your eyes to meet his gaze. While he was someone who didn’t particularly like dancing, he didn’t mind it with you. “You don’t have to be jealous, y’know.”

“Why’s that?” 

“Because I don’t want anyone else.” His breath hitched as one of your hands slid down to cup his jaw. 

“Darlin’, don’t play games.”

“You heard me earlier. I don’t play games.” You closed the gap between the two of you and kissed him softly. One of the hands wrapped around your waist went up to the back of your neck to pull you impossibly closer. It didn’t take him long to start kissing you back, taking your bottom lip between his. His lips were a little chapped but damn did he know how to kiss. You felt your entire body melting into him as every nerve ending fired. You had to keep yourself from whining when he pulled away. 

“I’ve been wanting that to happen a long time.”

“Me too.” He leaned down to kiss you again, fiercer this time as he lead you against the desk. His hands went up to cup your jaw as you grabbed at his back, the dress uniform’s scratchy fabric unpleasant against your fingernails. His tongue darted into your mouth and you welcomed him as he teased you. His hands started moving all over you, wanting to feel as much of you as possible. His mouth moved against your jaw, down to you neck and stopped there. Your breathing had picked up as he kissed against the juncture of your neck and collarbone. “Len-” You gasped out when he kissed, sucked the skin into his mouth. You didn’t care about the mark that would be left there as his lips pressed a soft kiss to the red spot he had created. He pulled away to look at you, his lips slightly swollen.

“Darlin’ I need you to tell me to stop if you don’t want this. I’ve wanted this for so long, wanted to kiss you, to taste you, to feel you.” Your breathing picked up even more as you were rendered speechless. “I just need you to tell me to stop and I will.”

“I don’t want you to. Please Len, don’t stop.” you whispered, pulling at the short hair at the back of his head. You leaned forward and pulled the collar of his shirt down and leaned to give him the same mark he had given you. His hand went to your exposed thigh, feeling the garter that held your phaser. “Always have to be prepared.” You joked, breaking some of the tension. He smiled and pulled the phaser to set it on the chair behind the desk. His hand slid up your thigh again and you jumped a little as he finally reached your panties. His fingers creeped in to find that bundle of nerves that was screaming for attention. 

“Shit.” He cursed when he felt how wet you were. He started slowly circling it and your hands went to his biceps, squeezing tightly. His finger moved away from your clit and into your core, quickly joined by a second finger. You were tight around his fingers and you wondered how tight you would feel around his cock. He moved his fingers around a little until he found the spot that made you clench around him and moan into his mouth. 

“Yes!” You sighed, his thumb going to rub your clit has his fingers curled inside of you. You messed with his shirt with shaky hands, trying to open it to feel at least some of his skin. When you succeeded, you ran your hands down his chest to reach for his slacks. You pressed your lips together when you felt the bit of wetness at the bulge. You unzipped his pants and pushed them and his underwear down his hips enough to free his cock that slapped against his belly. You both moaned to each other as you ran the palm of your hand over his tip. You encircled him and started jerking him off slowly. The coil in your belly was growing tighter as he continually tapped against you while rubbing the most sensitive part of you. While you always secretly admired his hands, you had underestimated how good his fingers would be. “Shit wait, I don’t want to come yet.”

“What do you need? Whatever you want.” He replied desperately. 

“I need you inside me now. I can’t wait anymore.” He cured under his breath and you bunched up your skirt so it wouldn’t get ruined. He pulled his fingers and you swore you could’ve come just from watching him smear your wetness over his cock. He wrapped one of his arms back around your waist with the other holding it, your arms going to grip at his shoulders. His cock caught at your entrance and he grasped the base of himself before slowly starting to push in. Both of your mouths dropped open as he sank into you with small rolls of his hips. 

“Fuck you feel too damn good.” You mewled as his accent came out even more. He finally bottomed out inside of you and he felt your grip tighten on his shoulders. “You alright?”

“Perfect, you feel perfect.” You two stayed like that for a moment or two, basking in each other before your hips started to roll as best as they could against him. One of his hands left you to grip the edge of the desk as he pulled out to the tip to push back into you roughly. You could tell he wouldn’t be able to hold back as much as he wanted to as your body bounced against him and the desk creaked underneath you and the fact that you knew the grip he had on your hip would leave bruises. You hooked one of your legs higher around his waist and he gasped out when he sunk even deeper into you. The angle allowed for him to hit the spot that he had found earlier and if it wasn’t for him you would’ve collapsed against the desk. You muffled your cries against his shoulder, still cognisant that you were at a gala. 

“Shit, darlin’ I’m not gonna last much longer.” You shook your head against him.

“Me neither.”

“Rub your clit, c’mon.” He groaned into your ear and one of you shaky hands reached down to sloppily circle your clit. He cursed and bit his lip when he felt you clench around him tighter. “C’mon honey, come for me.” Your legs started shaking around him and you felt that coil turning even tighter. “Please come for me.” He whined and you felt that resolve snap inside of you, tingling through every part of your body as your back bowed to press your breasts against him. He kissed you to swallow your cries as your body convulsed. He was soon grunting and groaning loader before you felt hotness cover your walls and his thrusts becoming shorter and deeper. His knuckles were blanched as they went to move your hair out of your face, feeling the imprints the lines of the desk made on his fingers and his breath puffing out against you. Your hands went to feel his pecs, to feel his heart beating wildly. 

“See? Told ya you didn’t need to be jealous.” You panted and he chuckled against you, the sound reverberating through you. He leaned down to give you a sweet kiss against your forehead and nuzzled against you. 

“We should probably get cleaned up.” He pulled up your panties and you stood up from the desk, squirming when you felt come slide out of you. “Maybe that’ll keep you from dancing with someone else.” You rolled your eyes lovingly and grabbed your phaser to put it back in your garter. You helped him look presentable again and kissed his cheek before going to the door. He grabbed your hand and pulled your back to his chest. “This wasn’t the way I thought that this would happen, but I’m glad it did.”

“How did you want it to happen?” He looked down at you and rubbed his thumb over the mark he had made on your shoulder. 

“I would’ve taken you out first once I’d finally gotten the courage to ask you out. Maybe I’d take you to a nice restaurant on a planet like this to get some real food, not replicated. I might take you to a place where you could see the stars because you love ‘em so damn much even though you’re constantly surrounded by them. I was actually trying to track down an old movie you loved so that we could watch it together. I was thinking I would make my move then.” You smiled up at him and played with the medals on his shirt.

“Those things can still happen, y’know. We can still do all of that.” You said. “I would really like to.”

“Me too.” He gave you another kiss before you both left the room, hoping you didn’t leave behind too big of a mess. 

XXXXXX

“Janice, I thought it would happen too.” Nyota consoled the yeoman as they wondered where the two of you had went. They had assumed you had both beamed back to the ship after realizing the other was busy either dancing or wallowing. 

“But it was perfect! It was just like those sappy vids! Pretty dresses, dancing, two people who won’t admit they’re in love! I just want them to be happy.” “Plus it doesn’t help that we have a bet going.” Hikaru interjected. “If they didn’t get together tonight then she owes me fifty credits.” Nyota shook her head incredulously. 

“You two are-” She stopped when she saw the two of you walk back down the stairs together again. “Oh stars-”

“Yes!” Janice celebrated. “Pay up, Hikaru!”

“Wait, that’s not proof of anything!” He whined. 

“Think again, hickey at three o’clock.” Hikaru leaned against the table near him and groaned. 

“What’s going on?” You asked and they didn’t miss how Leonard had his arm around your waist. 

“Oh nothing, we’re just about to toast.” They grabbed some bubbly by a waiter walking by. “To new beginnings and old bets!” Your brows furrowed but you drank from the flute anyway. 

You’d figure out what they meant later. For now, you relished being with your doctor and friends. 

“C’mon, I owe you a dance.” He said in your ear, leading you away from your friends. Unlike before, you assumed a more formal position with your hand in his, the other on his shoulder, and his other on your hip. 

“Glad to see you finally made it out!” Jim chuffed. “Must’ve had enough bourbon.” 

“Yeah, that’s it.” Leonard replied and you chuckled. Leonard’s eyes suddenly narrowed over your shoulder before you heard a familiar voice.

“Commander, glad to see you made it back! May I steal you for a moment?” The ambassador asked and you sighed. 

“No, you may not.”

“But-”

“She said no. Go chase an asteroid.” Leonard replied and you were surprised at the way he talked. 

“Excuse me?”

“Excuse us.” You replied and pushed Leonard away from the ambassador before a diplomatic incident occurred. “Y’know, we’re trying to suck up here.”

“Never was one for kissing ass.” He mused.

“Ah, always with that southern charm.”

“It got you, darlin’.”

[sxvxrxssnape]

Snolidays/Snapemas: Day 2

Chestnuts & Christmas Cards // pre-PS/the years between. Minerva & Severus friendship aka Minerva McGonagall’s personal mission to make Sev love Christmas part 2. 

Yesterday’s snowfall had turned to ice overnight. It crunched underneath their boots, leaving behind a trail of sunken footfalls as they crossed the stone bridge and moved towards the tall, wrought iron gates that secured the ancient school. 

The wind wasn’t entirely unpleasant, but Severus still took a moment to adjust his hat, pulling it down over his ears to keep his hair from flitting about in his face. Beside him, Minerva had her hands tucked into the pockets of her woolen cloak and together they made their way towards the waiting carriage that would take them into Hogsmeade. 

Hogsmeade was a special little town that sat nestled between crashing ocean waves and giant boulders, an endless expanse of pine trees, and the outline of an antiquated castle perched high above the cliff sides. It was home to a quaint collection of little shops and taverns, and judging by its newly renovated state, a smattering of wizards who seemed to love Christmas just as much as the deputy headmistress standing beside him. 

“December literally just started.” Severus groaned, as he stepped out of the carriage and looked around the main street that stretched out before them. 

Bundles of garland and red ribbon decorated every light post and rows of twinkling lights and colorful baubles hung from all the nearby trees. Even the air smelled festive and Severus’ lips thinned as he made out the scent of warm cinnamon and ginger - out of contempt or poorly hidden delight, he would never confirm.

Minerva chuckled softly beside him as he eyed the snow-covered rooftops with their dripping icicles that couldn’t be intentional - it was the weather’s doing, for Merlin’s sake - but still seemed intentional against the decorated storefronts that it made him think of gingerbread.

“You don’t have to look so put out,” Minerva teased, leading the way further into what he was now seriously debating was even Hogsmeade at all, “If you want, we can start decorating the castle as soon as we return. I’m sure Albus won’t mind.” 

Severus glared at her in return,

“I’ve changed my mind,” he decided, as they passed the stone statue of the town’s founder confirming this to, in fact, be Hogsmeade and not an asinine Christmas village Minerva had secretly tricked him into going to, “I can just owl-order the things I need, from the safety of the castle.”

Regardless, he continued towards the waiting apothecary because he could not - would not - owl order potion ingredients. He couldn’t trust the shopkeeper (or the blasted school owls for that matter) to fully understand why it was so important for his bicorn horns to be the exact shade of pale yellow he needed or the fragility of bursting mushrooms. 

And contrary to his current attitude, Severus Snape didn’t hate Christmas. He could appreciate a finely decorated tree and he found himself looking forward, and dare he say, a little excited about the upcoming staff holiday party. He wasn’t the bitter, old man inside that Minerva seemed to think he was, all bah-humbug and scowls when it came to anything remotely festive, he just didn’t understand the point of overdoing it and turning the whole town into a fragrant - wonderful smelling - gingerbread village two days into December. 

For Merlin’s sake, he was only twenty-five. That wasn’t enough time for him to turn resentful of the holidays, even if almost every single year had been...less than stellar, by all accounts. It wasn’t like he had never tried to have a good Christmas either, but after so many spectacularly failed attempts, he had decided he was better off not celebrating it at all. 

In fact, he had been quite content the last four Christmases working at Hogwarts and only acknowledging the aforementioned holiday party and maybe the changes to the menu, because yeah, he might feel a little indifferent towards the holiday but he also wasn’t a heathen who didn’t gladly indulge in rum-spiked eggnog and fresh baked gingersnaps. 

Severus shook his head, trying to dislodge the sudden influx of thoughts. His inner dialogue was beginning to sound a little bitter, even to himself.

“Coffee?” he asked loudly, speaking over the first syllable of whatever Minerva had been about to say, no doubt inferring something too close to accurate about his innermost thoughts from the look on her face, and stopping in front of the smiling wizard standing behind a market stall. 

“Afternoon,” the portly man tipped his head at the two, gesturing towards a charmed menu that was currently rewriting itself with the daily special. “What can I get you two?”

They ordered the special at Minerva’s insistence, and handed over a pair of sickles each before continuing on their quest. The coffee was strong and hot, tasting of dark chocolate and peppermint and Severus grimaced at the realization that she had inadvertently (advertently?) found another thing for him to like about Christmas. 

Minerva one, Severus zero. 

He shook his head again; he wasn’t trying to hate Christmas. He didn’t hate Christmas! He was just stubborn to a fault and after Min’s declaration that she would make this year the best yet, a small part of his mind was determined to rebel against it. 

Their time inside the apothecary was quick. The shopkeeper was used to Severus’ particularities and kept to herself as he sifted through bins of precariously piled ingredients and filled his basket with perfectly selected bicorn, jobberknoll feathers, and no less than thirteen jars of things he definitely hadn’t come here for. 

After he paid - and thank Merlin he had secured a position that provided room and board - Minerva led them into the paper and quill shop next door. She had a Hogwarts-sized order of parchment and spare quills to put in, so Severus went to browse the new display that had been erected in front of the store window. Red fabric was spread over the round table laden with gaudy, ribbon-trimmed quills and pots of glitter-infused calligraphy ink. He reached for one of the plastic-wrapped bundles stacked in the center, adorned with all sorts of festive symbolism and sighed as he realized what they were. 

“You should purchase some,” Minerva suggested, coming up behind him and making him jump. He hated when people snuck up behind him. It had once meant certain death and while the threat of an evil, megalomaniacal wizard behind his shoulder was no longer tangible, the sharp tendrils of fear that spiked into his chest had yet to go away. 

He forced himself to relax. 

“Christmas is all about spreading cheer, you know.” Minerva continued, thankfully ignoring the way his breath had seized, but clearly not unaware of it given the way she took a step back and appraised him carefully. “By making others happy, you make yourself happy. Perhaps you’ll benefit from it.”

Severus raised an eyebrow. “Are you implying that all my traumatic childhood Christmases can be attributed to the fact that I’ve never sent out Christmas cards?” he asked dryly. 

“Yes.” Minerva deadpanned. 

He blinked, taken aback by her frankness before he noticed the glint in her eye that indicated she was mostly joking. He looked down at the packages of cards and selected one with a more wintery scene - painted snowflakes and white-dusted evergreens over the eclectic mix of colorful baubles - with a look of feigned resignation, “I guess I’m sending Christmas cards this year.”

“Excellent.” 

They left the stationary store after that and headed for the Three Broomsticks. It was a new part of their routine that Severus had found himself looking forward to - Hogsmeade trips used to be rather anxiety-inducing, lonely and quite dull affairs without anyone to quip with, but now they promised good company and a quiet meal away from the bustle of students. Part of it was due to the genuine friendship they were forming, but another part of it was self-serving - for both of them. 

They were both aware of it, they just elected not to mention their unique combination of post-war trauma and newly created grief that kept them confined to the safety of the castle and feeling more than a little discombobulated in the small town just outside of it. 

The Three Broomsticks was nestled in the midpoint of Hogsmeade, a cozy-looking tavern made from polished wood and frosted windows, that boasted a warm bed and a strong drink to any desiring witch or wizard. The inside was just as quaint and rustic looking, but now it displayed a cascade of twinkling lights and a modestly decorated tree next to the wiped down bar. 

“Afternoon, Rosmerta!” Minerva called out to the barmaid and landlady who was topping off a stein of butterbeer with a healthy splash of firewhiskey for a waiting gentleman. They took their seats at a small table in the corner that Severus had long since dubbed their table and shrugged out of their cloaks.

“Afternoon, you two.” Madam Rosmerta greeted them as she approached them. Her strawberry blonde curls were gathered at the top of her head in a loose bun pinned in place by her wand and Severus internalized a scowl at that. He had seen a few witches - and wizards - use their wand for a quick updo, but he had yet to figure out how it was done and he absolutely refused to ask for help. She was carrying two ceramic mugs filled to the brim with a deep burgundy drink.

“Mulled wine,” she announced, setting them down and Severus noted the orange slice and cinnamon stick steeping in the red wine. “Made it last night.” 

“I really do believe the drinks are the best part of the holiday season.” Severus mumbled, picking up the warm cup and taking a long sip. 

“Come now, they can’t be the best part.” Rosmerta scolded, summoning a menu from the bar and setting it down on the table. “There’s so much more to Christmas than just good wine!”

“Nothing worthwhile.” Severus said simply, picking up the menu and skimming it. He always ordered the same thing, found comfort in stability, but he also couldn’t resist holiday menus when the time arrived. 

Minerva looked apologetic as she ushered the barmaid away after a quick scan of the menu and turned to glare at the now scowling potions professor. “Severus!”

“So, do you have a list you’re working from?” Severus asked mildly, picking up his wine and focusing intently on the red-tinted pulp of the orange floating in his drink. “Or are you simply making things up on the spot?”

“Pardon?”

“Your mission to make this year the best Christmas ever.” he specified. “Are you working from a list? Is there a schedule we’re following and can I be made privy to it, so I can plan my potion brewing around it?” He picked up the package of cards. “Or are you just forcing me to take part in things as they come up?”

Minerva eyed him carefully, picking up her own cup. “A little bit of both.”

“Do I get to hear what you do have planned?”

“Some of the classic activities I suppose - decorating the tree, going to look at the lights, maybe visiting Christmastown, baking cookies, go caroling -”

“Caroling?!”

“- maybe decorate a gingerbread house.”

Madam Rosmerta returned before Severus could say anything else, guiding bowls of butternut squash soup and a plate of cheese toasties onto the table with her wand. “There you go, dears.” she smiled, setting down a smaller plate piled with iced gingersnaps. “These are on the house - first bake of the holiday season. Should help get those spirits up.” She sent Severus a pointed look that he deftly ignored and Minerva glared at him again.

“If you’re going to glower at me every time we go out this month, I might just stop going out with you.” he bristled, picking up a toastie and dipping the corner into his soup. 

“Maybe you should stop being so bitter then.” Minerva returned.

“What, because it’s Christmas?” he asked, pausing to take a bite. “Oh, such a joyous time of year! Look how absolutely delighted I am to share a room with wine-drunk wizards,” he gestured a hand towards the bar, where a pair of cherry-faced dwellers were singing the words to A Cauldron Full of Hot, Strong Love, “and a goddamn tree!”

“Severus!” Minerva admonished again and this time, Severus hunched his shoulders at the tone. He had gone too far, he could tell from the way her face had smoothed out entirely, giving her a look of cold indifference. 

“I’m sorry.” he muttered, swirling his spoon through his soup. 

Minerva didn’t say anything and they ate their food in awkward silence. At one point, a pitcher floated over to their table and refilled their mugs before making its way back to the bar. When they were done, Severus eyed the gingersnaps and wondered if it would be considered poor etiquette to reach over and help himself. The mood at the table didn’t feel particularly deserving of cookies. 

Then again, he had once attended dinners at the Malfoy’s with The Dark Lord sitting at the forefront and the ambience of those days didn’t stop anyone from helping themselves to an extra piece of focaccia bread. He winced; it felt wrong to compare past - genuinely traumatic - dinner events to the silence before him. Minerva wasn’t an enemy, he was simply a bastard. 

“I don’t hate Christmas,” he finally broke the silence. “I just find myself wondering over the point when every Christmas I’ve tried to celebrate properly has ended in disaster. I’m perfectly content with not bothering over it anymore. The lights are pretty and the food is good, and I look forward to watching Rolanda drink everyone under the table later this month, but I’ve stopped putting merit in the holidays. It’s less disappointing that way.”

Minerva pushed the plate of cookies towards him, like some sort of reward for  opening up. Which, he supposed, it sort of was. She picked one up and took a bite and only then did he grab one too.

“I don’t get why you’re so determined to fix that.” he added, shrugging. 

He bit into the cookie, savouring the meld of flavors - ginger, molasses, warm vanilla. He couldn’t imagine a more perfect gingersnap and he found himself raising the cookie in a gesture of appreciation as he made eye contact with Rosmerta. 

“Elphinstone loved Christmas.” she said simply, taking another bite of her cookie and shrugging as if she hadn’t just dropped a bombshell of emotional manipulation by invoking the name of her dead husband over a plate of cookies on what had started as a pleasant Monday afternoon of running errands after class. 

“I-” Severus began, but then stopped. 

“We weren’t married for long, I know, but I knew him for 23 years.” she continued, as if he hadn’t spoken. Her eyes seemed a little faraway now. “We would always make the most of his vacation days - see the lights, visit the Christmas market, decorate the tree, roast chestnuts and drink hot cocoa. He loved carolling, had a good voice for it.” 

Severus looked down at his cookie, scraping at the white icing with his thumbnail and effectively crumbling away the hand piped snowflake. 

“I’m not making you celebrate Christmas with me because I’m lonely.” she clarified, eyeing him sternly. “If you don’t want to do anything else on this list, I won’t make you. I just don’t want you going through life thinking it’s all bad and that good things can’t happen to you.”

“I don’t -” 

“Yes, you do.” Minerva scolded. “Don’t think I don’t see you wallowing every time you catch sight of yet another reminder that this is supposed to be the happiest time of the year. You don’t have to be the cheeriest person to ever walk the earth, for Merlin’s sake, Severus, but you’re letting bitterness take a hold of you and I won’t stand for it.” 

Severus tried to scowl back, but Minerva could see right through him. 

“Do you know why I accompany you to Hogsmeade?” she asked and Severus grimaced. They weren’t supposed to talk about it; this was one of those stones better left unturned things. 

“Don’t say it please.” he whispered, feeling dread curling in his stomach. He hated to think himself as weak and his inability to enter Hogsmeade alone - any bustling wizard town, at that - was only utter proof that he was. 

“Your paranoia is valid.” Minerva said quietly, saying as little as possible and yet too much at the same time. “Don’t be ashamed of having trauma, but don’t let it turn you into a bitter, shriveled up, old bastard either.”

“Are we still talking about Christmas?” he asked ruefully. 

“You know we aren’t.”

Their empty plates and half-filled mugs suddenly got up and floated away only to return as a pair of traveling paper cups topped with more wine and a splash of something stronger. They nodded their thanks at Rosmerta and shrugged back into their cloaks. They kept a tab at the Three Broomsticks, so paying wasn’t a concern as they exited the building and headed towards the castle in silent agreement to skip the carriage ride. 

“So, roasted chestnuts?” Severus brought up, as they crunched over the dirty ice that coated the path back home. “Like, in the song? That’s a thing?” 

Minerva nodded. 

“Can we do that, then?” he asked casually, trying to make amends. “I noticed the apothecary had a basket full of them. Perhaps we could return and pick some up.”

“Already taken care of.” Minerva replied, reaching into her pocket and pulling out a small burlap sack bursting with its lumpy contents. “You were too busy holding jars of lacewing flies to the light you never even noticed.”

“Roasted chestnuts then.” Severus nodded, ignoring the jab towards his particularness. “And uh, thank you for accompanying me to Hogsmeade,” he added, trying to sound indifferent to it, like it wasn’t such a difficult thing to admit aloud. “I know it's hard for you too.” 

The witch smiled softly, as if being reminded of her - what, only three months now? - deceased husband and her old life living in the small town was a pleasant memory. And perhaps for her, it was. Perhaps he was letting grief turn him bitter. What did the deaths of his only friends and both his parents have to do with Christmas? Years had passed since both and yet the newly-created widow walking besides him was coping far better than he could ever hope to. 

“I think we should talk about Christmas present shopping.” 

“I was just going to -”

“And don’t say you were going to owl-order them.” Minerva interrupted, narrowing her eyes at him. “There’s nothing personal about circling a few things in a catalogue.”

“What do you propose then?”

“We’ll go gift shopping together. Tomorrow.”

“Tomorrow?”

“Tomorrow,” Minerva confirmed, taking a sip of her drink. “It’s too early in the month for most people, so Diagon Alley won’t be crowded at all, let alone on a Tuesday. Shouldn’t make you too uncomfortable, yes?”

Severus offered a smile at the unexpected accommodation and nodded. He cradled his paper cup of mulled wine close to his chest, feeling a warmth that came from more than just the hot drink. 

--

a/n: oops maybe got carried away with this one? it would mean the world to me if you told me what you think of this bc im v proud of it. 

[hanadoesstuffbadly]

‘Online’ ch I - RS&t7D University AU

Hello, I was looking for Red Shoes fanfiction when I discovered that there are little to no Modern AUs being written. So i figured, screw it, I’ll do it myself because I love modern AUs.

This is the first chapter and it is very long, so if you don’t feel like reading it, fair enough. I’m planning to write the whole thing anyway because I also love writing and it’s good practise.

Small warning if you do want to read this: Merlin is British. I am British. British people are very sarcastic and very moody all of the time. This entire first chapter is from Merlin’s perspective so there are a lot of British phrases and idioms used. If you are fortunate enough to not be an eternally grumpy Brit, don’t worry, the next chapter will be a very bad written impersonation of an American!!

Also, this is my first ever fanfiction so please don’t judge me too harshly, I am but a young peasant girl.

Sooooooooo.... Summary.

Merlin is a twenty year old student at Southend University. To combat his detrimental narcissism, his counsellor suggests online gaming. Merlin tries to cheat by using an ancient game called Fairytale Island, which designs your avatar to match a photograph. This plan falls apart when his laptop explodes, turning his avatar tiny and green. He ploughs on regardless, sure that he will encounter nobody. Little does he know, that a newly moved student from the States is coming online the very same night. :)

(It’s kinda switched so Merlin is the last of the F7 to get his attitude set right.)

With that done... I hope you don’t hate it!

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Merlin couldn’t stand mornings, especially Friday mornings. Because for the duration of his first year of Uni, Friday’s lessons had always begun at the reasonable hour of 2 o’clock in the afternoon. This left Merlin a good half hour to be awake, out of the door and on his bike, zipping past the crowded Southend beaches. In short, Merlin hated Friday mornings because he had not seen one in fifteen months. Needless to say, it was not a welcome reunion.

Approximately twelve minutes prior to commencing with today’s zipping -at the unlawful hour of nine in the morning- Merlin had been idly stirring shredded wheat into a depressing gruel (much to the disgust of the ever-vigilant, ever-attentive, red-haired cook,) basking in his own tardiness. 

Had he asked for counselling? No. 

Did he need counselling? None of their business.

Did he want to be dragged out of bed at half-eight by six overbearing housemates who apparently believed it was "necessary" or "overdue"; to be packed off to the Resource Centre so that they could “Evaluate any and all emotional or psychological issues which may have arisen for you, as a student whom we have identified as being at risk, before the beginning of this new academic term”? No, he did not!

Contrary to a promising forecast, the sky was a sapphire pool overhead. Thus, the fantasy of motorbiking down empty seafront roads, the brassy drumming of thunder and the gurgle of saltwater smothering his roaring engine (Hans called him a madcap but personally, Merlin preferred the term Raptor-trainer) was squashed. And given that a motorbike charging down the road in the wee hours of the morning was frowned upon, Merlin was forced to content himself with walking at a purposefully counter-productive pace to the bus stop down the hill. Stubbornly, he insisted on himself that he wore a cobalt-blue, long-sleeved shirt with grey trousers; dressing not for the weather he had, but the weather he wanted. This was a stupid idea and the sleeves were rolled up before he reached sea-level. He had to restrain himself from missing a bus entirely. It wasn’t crowded, because of course it wasn’t. Everyone else in Southend had better things to be doing. 

Like sleeping. 

The bus didn’t even go all the way to the college, stopping at least a dozen yards from the entrance like a noncommittal shrug. It took everything in Merlin to not  keep his butt planted securely in his seat; let the busyness of British public transport whisk him away to the Leigh on Sea station; catch a train to Fenchurch street; disappear into Central London; never be seen or heard from again, especially by Dr- as a student whom we have identified as being at risk- LeFey; then inevitably die from water pollution at a ripe old age of thirty-five. It took everything in him, but he walked down to the building, through glass-doors ornamented by a million sweaty fingerprints, and into a waiting room that smelt of Sellotape.

Unsurprisingly, the stately woman at the desk gave him barely a passing glance, handing him a form to fill in with the enthusiasm of an automatic door sliding open. Also unsurprisingly, the assistant behind her paused in rearranging a filing cabinet to brush a couple of sandy hairs behind her ear and chew the end of a pen like it was made of liquorice. She even wandered aimlessly away from her task altogether, sidling up to the front desk most inconspicuously.

Merlin's mood brightened. While he leant down to scribble his name and address on the paper, he winked discreetly in her direction.  In spite of definitely not looking at him, her cheeks turned beetroot crimson and what might have been a giggle or the beginnings of a small heart attack escaped her lips. 

Against all of the shoddiness of his day so far, Merlin grinned inwardly, sizing her up with half of his attention. Tall, slender, twenty-one, twenty-two most likely. Stray blonde curls framed a thickly tanned face, the rest piled atop her head in a bun. In all, not a bad picture, although her wardrobe did leave something to be desired: Bell-bottomed jeans and a T-shirt reading "Darth Vader was framed", betraying that 

A. She still thought that bell-bottomed anything was a good look, and 

B. That she had never paid more than six quid for a shirt. 

However, her figure and the hang of her hair more than made up for those discrepancies. Perhaps he could get something out of this counselling after all. With this in mind, he cleared his throat loudly,

"I'm terribly sorry, Miss," he waved the form vaguely in front of his face, "but I have a small problem."

Perhaps knowing exactly what he was doing and being used to it by this point, the woman, Ms Marion- who had decided that underneath a lace cardigan was the place for a name tag- ignored him completely, leaving miss bell-bottoms to round the edge of the counter and come to stand by his side over the offending form.

"What's the matter?" She asked, sincerely.

"Y'see," Merlin began, fixing her with a smile that even Jack admitted made anyone weak at the knees, "right here it's asking me for something that I just don't really get." He pointed accordingly, and bell-bottoms leant in closer. To get a really good look at the text, of course.

"We need your mobile number."

"Oh, I see, now here's the thing." Wearing a look of utter helplessness, he faced bell-bottoms completely. She appeared confused, her face becoming redder by the second. "I don't have one of those."

"What?"

"A mobile number." He sighed and ran a hand through his hair. "You wouldn't mind terribly giving me yours, would you?"

If he squinted, Merlin was fairly certain he would see her bell-bottomed soul leaving her body and fluttering out of the window. He took her lack of reaction as an invitation,

"Lin Pendragon." He extended one hand, still cloaked in a fingerless glove the colour of wet bark. Despite his housemates deciding otherwise, Merlin was in fact not his actual name, and he would sooner be caught dead than introducing himself with it to an attractive young woman such as this. "Part time Ancient Historian, full time Romantic."

Bell-bottoms took the hand and shook it with unexpected firmness,

"Gowlle Delocks. Part time assistant, full time, um..." She seemed a little lost, floundering like a GCSE English paper "Full time-"

"Doctor Morgan LeFey. Part time tolerator of tardiness. This is not one of those times Mister Pendragon."

Spinning on his heel and effectively knocking the form onto the floor, Merlin faced the speaker, who stood in the doorway of a side-office like a disgruntled flamingo.

One thing came to mind when Merlin looked at the counsellor and that was the smell created when someone burns popcorn in a microwave. Forehead too small; nose too large, a hairy wart taking up most of it; everything that should end in a curve ending in an acute, needle-like point. She looked like a bad imitation of a Picasso painting come to life. Yellow hair that might have been blonde hung from her scalp, which he could almost see for how thin the stuff was; and her olive skin was definitely closer to a pale, sickly green from where Merlin was standing. The murky, sky-blue gown that would have looked excessive in the nineteenth century certainly didn't help. Summed up, she looked like a creature one would throw something at if it approached them on a dark night. Merlin felt his nose wrinkle in disgust.

So, he had been forced into counselling by a literal witch. Today was just going swimmingly wasn't it.

Dr Lefey's "office" was exactly what Merlin expected. Save of course for a cauldron,  broomstick and small children in display cases. Indigo curtains rather than blinds hung at each side of a wide picture window that looked out on a garden peppered by horrendous little gnomes. Their China faces were stained green by years of mildew build-up. Her wooden floor she had covered with gaudy, knitted rugs, and the sides of her desk had glow-in-the-dark stars stuck to them. On the off-white walls hung various, tasteless frames of all sorts and colours, each depicting a photograph taken by somebody who was evidently not a professional photographer. One such picture especially caught his eye.

"This you, Miss… Lefty?" The question was stupid, of course it was her, every other human being on the planet had at least managed to look like one. The photo showed the woman sitting in a cluster of children underneath a cobbled-together shack, a paper tiara on her head and a wand made out of several plastic straws. "The fairy princess in the mauve cardigan?"

"First," She answered, pushing the door shut behind her with her pointy hip, "It's Doctor Lefey, but you will call me Morgan in these sessions." Merlin couldn't help but smirk internally when she assumed there would be more than one of these nightmares. "Second, yes, that is me in the photograph, November, four years ago, Uganda, a recycling activity. And third," The slam of a hefty file being dropped unceremoniously on to a desk made Merlin jump. "I was the fairy Queen."

"Well, your majesty," he ducked his head in a mock bow, "you've aged..." At first, he searched for an adverb but then realised, he didn't particularly need one.

Morgan gave Merlin that pinched smile that he'd seen Arthur's girlfriend, Gwen, give customers at The Golden Goose Cafe when they told her she had no idea who she was dealing with. Also called the 'booting-you-into-next-Thursday-would-cost-twenty-pounds-an-hour-but-i-am-legitimately-considering-it' face. Merlin ignored her easily. He'd had years of practise doing so.

He plopped himself down onto a teal green sofa with a ketchup stain running up one arm. It wasn't a comfortable seat, but the garish pixie cushion did help somewhat. Morgan paid him no attention, leafing through the thick file which she had retrieved moments before. She paid him no attention for a little too long.

As aforementioned, Merlin was fine with ignoring people. Even enjoyed it sometimes. Unattractive waitresses, bin-collectors, overweight people at the gym, pedestrians. Being ignored, however, was a far less comfortable experience. Probably because it was such a rare one. He coughed into the pasty silence.

"Those your medical records?" The room was quiet enough to facilitate a pin drop sounding like a bowling ball being dropped. A long, controlled intake of breath was easily made out. “Cosmetic surgery?” 

"No." She said shortly, continuing with her browsing, "but they are yours." Merlin quickly stopped ignoring her. "And your birth records and your parents birth records and every other detail of your stimulating life story, Merlin." He short-circuited momentarily.

"That's not my-"

"No, it isn't your given name, but it's what your roommates call you and according to them, the one you prefer going by." Alright, those googly snitches were going to pay later. He recovered from his surprise gracefully as always, but that left him no less indignant.

"I- I wasn't aware that you'd have access to that information."

"Several reliable sources have identified you as being at risk, Merlin, everything in this folder is strictly need-to-know." A smile that could have been genuine spread across her features, and it may have been nice if it weren't so nauseating to look at. He crossed his arms and sunk lower into the sofa, muttering to himself,

"You hardly 'need-to-know' about the name though."

"Obviously, anything said in this session doesn't leave this room and the values and standards of Southend University are to be observed at all times." With quick strides on legs like skipping ropes, Morgan left her desk and placed herself gracelessly on a trademark shrink chair. 

The ‘So, Merlin.’ Was audible on her spindly lips before they left them.

"So, Merlin. First, I'd like you to relax," Difficult, I'm sitting across from a gorgon, I'm a man moments from death, "and tell me about your background, where you're from, your family." He gave her a blank look.

"You just told me that you have a massive file telling you that stuff."

"Yes, but I'd like to know that you also know that stuff. Reviewing your case will prove very difficult if we aren't on the same page. Now, if you please." With an exasperated puff of air into his cheeks, Merlin leant forward so that his elbows braced against his knees and his hands clasped together.

"Fine. I was born in Seoul, South Korea; my parents died in a car accident when I was three. I was brought to England to live with an aunt in Ipswich."

"And you were comfortable with this change?" The interruption caused Merlin to blank for a second.

"Wha- I was three. I was comfortable sitting in a tumble dryer with knickers on my head!" This retort was not appreciated, judging by the tapping of Morgan's pencil against a green clipboard that had seemingly materialised out of thin air.

"These are regulation questions, try not to overthink your answers." With this she returned to drawing writing utensils from the ether apparently, a silent signal for him to continue. Already, Merlin's mind was going through fantasies of sprinting down the hill, across the high street and off the end of Southend pier.

"Alright then, the aunt was arrested when I was six-"

"Why was she arrested?"

"Are shrinks meant to interrupt their patients?"

"I'm not a shrink, I'm a University counsellor, why was your aunt arrested?" Nothing about this experience was relaxing. Getting a Frostino with Miss Delocks, the part-time-assistant would have been relaxing.

"Possession of illegal firearms. Just a taser. Five years in prison under the law of the United Kingdom. Happy?"

"Yes, this is very helpful. So, your guardian was arrested and…"

"I went into care, obviously. Seven foster homes over six years. Adopted after my eleventh birthday by Igraine Pendragon and her husband. I moved into their home in York, Summered in Cumbria; went to school with their son. Igraine died when I was fifteen, Uther when I was seventeen. Arthur and I moved out to one of the cottages we own in Leigh two years ago. It was all perfectly fine and now here I am at Southend University in a counselling session I didn't ask for with a counsellor that I'm certain nobody has ever asked for." Okay, the last bit slipped out half unwarranted, but he might as well be honest.

Long, mole-flecked fingers curled and tightened around the edges of her clipboard, leaving dents in the malleable green cork like it was plasticine.

"Right." Came a snarled response from between smiling teeth. "Now, on to some more current information: Who do you live with during your time at the University?"

"Igraine’s son, Arthur, and the five student tenants who rent out rooms." That felt weird to say. For some reason, whenever Merlin thought about the six other occupants of Stanrocc cottage, it was hard to remember that they weren’t all related in one way or another.

“Right, and are you comfortable with these living arrangements?”

“I’m a University student who gets to live in a fully catered house free of charge, what do you think?” The pinched ‘threaten-to-speak-to-my-manager-again-and-I-will-hit-you-with-a-shoe’ smile returned.

“Okay then.” A rustling of paper signalled that the background questions were mercifully coming to a close, as, Merlin hoped, was this entire experience. Unfortunately, the next words out of the witches’ mouth weren’t, ‘thank you for your time, Mister Pendragon, I hope you and Miss Delocks have a splendid afternoon.’ Instead she intertwined her grotesque fingers and looked him in the eye. The fact that he didn’t turn to stone was a shock.

“Now, Merlin, I’d like to know what features you look for when meeting new people.” Alright, not what he’d wanted or expected to hear.

“Is this a personal interview-”

“Just-” Morgan closed her eyes and pressed her lips together until they completely disappeared into her face. “Answer the question, Merlin.”

“I look for the same things anyone looks for. Do they look approachable? Would I want to be seen with them out and about? Those kinds of things.” He darted his eyes from Morgan’s varicose ankles to her sloping forehead. 

“So, you base the value of other people’s company solely upon their outward appearance and draw any and all judgements from those assets?” There were too many words in that sentence, was all Merlin could think in response. When he did finally puzzle out what the question actually was, he gave the woman a jovial nod. Finally, they were on the same wavelength.

“Of course I do, how a person looks tells you a lot about who they are, doesn’t it?” 

Morgan must have been writing something down, but it still felt as though her eyes had not left Merlin for a second. An intake of breath through her wide nostrils filled the room.

“To some extent, maybe.” She shifted on her chair and the look in her eye of a person who had gotten exactly what they wanted was unnerving. “Merlin, do you think you feel this way about other people because these mentalities could have been forced on you in the past?” Her nasal voice had become one of understanding and professionalism, the Northern accent thinning considerably. Merlin didn’t like it at all. “Maybe you feel as though you personally are liked or disliked for nothing besides how you look?”

Throughout this entire, stupid session, Merlin had been wanting to avoid answering questions. Now all he wanted to do was say something so devastating yet so on point that it would shut this witch up for the rest of her career. And yet his tongue remained still, rooted to the floor of his mouth.

“I see.” The counsellor stood and shook out her skirts with the smug air of a woman victorious. Merlin wanted to throw something at her. Like a shoe. She went around to the back of her desk and retrieved a post-it-note shaped like a unicorn. “I’m giving until the beginning of the new term to combat this problem that we seem to have here." In one motion she ripped away the post it note and was making her way back towards him, brandishing it like a literal curse rather than simply the figurative one that it clearly was. She handed it to him unforgivingly.

"I'd like you to try a social activity that is purely audio based. Interactions with others that don't allow them to see your appearance." The urge to crumple the note into a ball was strong. “I’ll schedule another session three weeks from now.”

"And what if I'm perfectly happy with the way things are? I don't need to change anything." Merlin shot back, and control of the situation brushed his fingertips before Morgan's condescending smile dragged it out of reach again.

"Tell me, Merlin, how many reports do you think I received from your professors and peers of this self-important, judgemental behaviour?" Merlin was already standing as he milled the question over for a full couple of seconds.

"One or two, I'd imagine." He finally mumbled. The witch drummed her pencil against her crossed arms and shook her head. "Well," Merlin started, "it can't have been-"

"Twenty-four." She didn't look victorious now, just a little sorry. That was so much worse. "Twenty-four different people, who you have known for only a year or so. Still think you don't need to change anything?"

Merlin didn't want to look around at her ridiculous face again. He didn't think he even knew twenty-four people well enough for them to report him. Her voice carried on no matter how much he wanted it not to.

"If I don’t see improvement three weeks from now, regardless of how you feel about it, I won't have anything to present against a decision to remove you from your course entirely."

The facts stung like poisonous, green smoke in Merlin's head. He pulled at the ornamented door handle, dismissing himself. Then a question came into his mind and forced itself to be asked.

"What activities would you suggest, then?"

"Start an interactive podcast; volunteer for a University chat-line; Online gaming." Merlin's humourless scoff punctuated her list.

"Yeah, no. I'm not an ‘over the phone’ kind of guy." He stepped out into the hallway and noticed Miss Delocks' head spin in his direction. The last ten minutes had dampened any mood he might have been in for going out, but that didn't mean he couldn't at least try to cheer himself up. He heard one last reply from the witch before he strode off in the assistant’s direction,

"Keep that attitude up and you won't be a "Part-time Ancient Historian" either."

-

In case the presence of a pale pink fiesta with mermaid stickers running along the doors wasn’t indicative enough, the loud guffaws and scattered shouts told Merlin that his housemates had company. This was before he even reached the top of the hill. Night was creeping across the sky already. Merlin would have liked to stay out longer, but the witches’ words had stuck a little too keenly to him, and a college bar surrounded by five beautiful young ladies was not, it seemed, the best place to process things.

Stanrocc cottage was one of a kind really. It was called a cottage because it managed to be too small to be a villa but also too pretty to be a house. The walls were brick, covered in an artsy kind of cement stuff with shells mixed into it, then painted white. Kingfisher blue window frames peeked out from beneath an overgrowth of marble-like gladioli and ballet-slipper foxgloves. The diminutive front garden was mostly taken up by the wild-cherry tree that had looked hurricanes and landfalls in the face, released a string of angry expletives and stayed precisely where it was with zero intention of ever going away. Around its ankles sprung up Snowdrops every Winter, but right now, in the twilight of August, the space was taken up by a hoard of decaying daffodil corpses.

Through one of the windows, a blonde head was just visible. It stood up haphazardly and came to the door when Merlin knocked. Jack appeared in the doorway, but he’d barely laid eyes on Merlin before he was leaning back inside and shouting into the noisy fray, his accent thick, probably from laughing,

“Ee’s back!” With that he left the door hanging open. Merlin entered, a little disgruntled at the lack of welcome, until he got inside and found out why. Seated on the various beanbags, chairs, and sofas, were their usual six occupants, but with them were four less usual ones. Alright, not that unusual, three of them Merlin knew he recognised.

First was Arthur’s fiancée, Gwen. She was a common recurring visitor. Whenever Arthur wasn’t following her around the café, she was following him around the cottage. The other two present were less clearly defined by engagement rings or Facebook relationship status’. 

Upon sitting back down on his very expensive armchair, Jack had one-hundred-and-fifty centimetres of pink-leggings wearing, ashen skinned vegetarian seating herself comfortably on his lap. That one was Viviane… Or Niniane. Merlin never actually paid attention when Jack gushed about her, but he was almost sure her name was one of those. She was Jack’s “study partner'', both of them being up and coming chemists. Funny, because to Merlin’s knowledge, studying didn’t usually involve reclining on each other’s laps; playing with each other’s hair (or her playing with his, at least) and going out on spa trips together. If they weren’t together, Merlin couldn’t blame Jack. All spread-out, round eyes and large lips, she did look a little like a fish with legs.

Lastly there was Briar. Nobody actually knew what Briar was. Was she Hans’ friend? His girlfriend? A kind of omnivorous goat? It was a mystery. Altogether they knew seven things about her: Like Hans, she was German; she took fencing lessons; her wardrobe consisted entirely of ankle-length, floaty skirts and a special talent of hers was tripping over literal air. She slept with a baseball bat, wore purple contacts in her eyes and, while you wouldn’t imagine so from her physique, she had the appetite of a full grown horse. They didn’t even know what she was doing at the Uni. With her legs folded in front of her, she leant on her maybe-boyfriend-maybe-friend’s signature bean bag chair, one hand holding a row of scrabble pieces. The other was surreptitiously burrowing through Hans’ homemade bag of steak flavoured crisps, which famously tasted like dog food to everyone but those two. The curly-headed bag-holder didn’t seem to mind at all.

There was one other girl with them, seated on a folding chair between Briar’s feet and Arthur’s elbow. Merlin gave her barely a passing glance however, taking in a round figure, cherry-pink shorts, and shoulder-length brown hair before he lost interest. 

Maybe you feel as though you personally are liked or disliked for nothing besides how you look.

The counsellor’s stupid voice drove through his thoughts unbidden like an off-rail train. He shook his head and shoved them back down into his subconscious where they belonged, ready to be forgotten. 

The ringing of the words, however, was replaced by his stomach gurgling irritably. A muffin and a salted-caramel hot chocolate were not enough to go on for a whole afternoon. His eyes fell on the Chinese food containers strewn about the coffee table and surrounding floor. A takeaway was a rare occasion in Stanrocc cottage. In the entire county of Essex, there were exactly four fast-food establishments that Hans trusted and respected, and thus, would allow them to purchase from. Two of these were fish-and-chip shops; one- Merlin’s particular favourite- did flame-grilled kebabs; and the last one was the Jade Dragon Restaurant. Very expensive- meaning Jack was probably to thank for it- and very, very good Chinese food. It dawned on Merlin a little late that this uncharacteristic treat might have been meant to make him feel better, judging by the sizeable stack of barbecue kebab boxes that could be seen just inside the kitchen door. Nobody else liked barbecue kebabs.

But he was too tired and too hungry to feel bad for not coming back. He’d been busy.

 The energetic game of scrabble had come to a standstill when his arrival was announced. Now ten pairs of eyes were on him and six of them were concerned. Merlin made for the kitchen, the multitude of expectant faces making his chest knot.

 “Don’t worry about me,” he insisted, half-heartedly when he noticed both Arthur and Hans shifting as if to get up. “I’m going to bed.”

 Noki, the second of the triplets, swept up a container filled with Prawn crackers and extended them in Merlin’s direction. He waved them away dismissively.

 “Really, it’s fine, I’ll grab something from the fridge.” And with that he left the room.

 Much to his dismay, the fridge was a sorry sight, being mostly bare save for half a watermelon and an empty milk carton. It was a Friday, he soon remembered, which meant Hans would be grocery shopping tomorrow. Also, Briar was there.

 Footsteps came thudding along the short passage between the living room and the kitchen. Merlin didn’t have to look up to know that an orange vest with arms was blocking the door.

 “What do you want, Arthur?” Even in the fridge, Merlin could feel the glare in the back of his head. Crossed arms also wouldn’t be a surprise.

 “I want to know where you’ve been, and why you didn’t feel the need to tell us you weren’t coming back?” Merlin finally selected a yogurt cowering at the very back with a best-before date of yesterday. He shut the fridge door with his foot, searching for a clean spoon on the draining board.

 “You know you aren’t actually my dad, right?” He plunged the end of the spoon through the paper covering and started ripping the excess away. “I can go where I want.”

 “No.” Arthur had now moved completely into the room. “But you’re still one of us, mate, and we were all worried. The triplets almost got in the truck to come pull you out of whatever ditch you’d fallen into.” Merlin actually looked him in the face this time. He was scratching his ghost of a goatee the way he always did when he felt in deep water. “You didn’t exactly leave in great spirits this morning.”

 “Lurrk, uum fyrn.” Merlin said through a mouthful of yogurt. The stuff was absolutely repulsive, but it was the best conversation avoidance technique he had without a book to hand. He manoeuvred around Arthur, trying desperately to keep from openly weeping at the foul stuff. The best-before date ought to have been the may-not-kill-you-before date. 

“Yeah,” Arthur sighed behind him. “I can see that. But you’re-“ Merlin dashed up the stairs, discarding the yogurt discreetly in the kitchen bin as he passed it.

Arthur had changed since meeting Gwen. It was like something had been plucked out of him. The thing that had made Merlin feel close to him while everything was happening: The adoption, losing both their parents. It was like Arthur had grown up, changed somehow. And had left Merlin behind.

 And from what he had seen in the other room, Arthur wasn't the only one.

 Merlin emptied the yogurt out of his mouth and gargled mouthwash to get rid of the lingering flavour of overripe strawberries. A knock at his bedroom door interrupted him.

 “What did the counsellor say?” It was Arthur again. Merlin had honestly had enough of today. Why couldn’t everyone just leave him be? He wasn’t hurting anyone.

He poked his head out, startling his friend who still had his fist raised to knock again.

 “She suggested I take up gaming.”

-*-

Hours later, Merlin turned over his pillow again, trying his absolute hardest to fall asleep. He’d tried relaying a movie in his head, but thinking about the ending just made him sad. He’d tried reading his new book, but Neil Gaiman wasn't particularly relaxing. At last he had just shut his eyes and told himself to sleep, with real authority and gumption. That just made him more awake because his brain hated him.

Eventually he sat up and tugged the string on his lamp. The clock on his desk told him it was 2:26. Merlin’s bones told him that he was actually in a void in which time was a construct of society, and he felt much more inclined to believe the latter. Seeing as somebody, probably Hans, had left a plate of reheated kebabs in front of his door, Merlin hadn’t starved, so he couldn’t explain the hollow discomfort that was plaguing him now.

Actually, he could, he just didn’t want to.

Twenty-four people thought he was a self-important, narcissistic idiot.

Walking around his room to clear his head quickly turned into walking downstairs and into the kitchen to get some shreddies. There were still a few chocolate ones left, them mercifully being the one cereal that Briar didn’t love more than life itself.

As he dejectedly spooned the stuff into his mouth, green smoke came unfiltered through his head again, spelling out: I won't have anything to present against a decision to remove you from your course entirely. Merlin groaned and pulled at his bark coloured hair.

Ancient and Medieval History, while not a popular course, was still difficult to get into. Only twelve or so universities in the country even offered it. And even then, Southend alone offered the module on folklore and mythologies. So many essays, so many projects, so much time spent reading about the sordid love-lives of ancient deities. For nothing apparently. All because some people he didn’t know thought he was self-obsessed.

Nothing added up.

And gaming? Really. Podcasts and chat-lines were an instant nope, but gaming. In his entire twenty years, Merlin had played one game and one game alone. And well, that one was…

Next thing he knew, Merlin had left the congealed cereal lonely on the sink and was fighting his way through a wall of cobwebs into the storage room. The lights hadn’t worked in there for years, so Merlin clasped a battery powered torch from Colchester castle like a lifeline.

With his finger and thumb he gingerly shifted bicycles, boxes of DVDs and even a taxidermy rabbit that had gone to holes, until he saw it. The shiny, green corner of a laptop-games-console-hybrid emerged from the darkness. And then was immediately plunged back into it when the torch exploded in Merlin’s hand, the light flickering away with a puff of smoke. Merlin had expected this, but that didn’t stop him from grabbing the game and high-tailing it out of the storage room before the shadows could grab his ankles and eat him. Safe in his own bedroom again, Merlin intrepidly opened the game.

Fairytale Island was created by Avalon Games nine years ago. In its entire run, localised in Southern England, it sold about three-hundred consoles. These consoles were box-like laptops, but a more accurate comparison would be an oversized Nintendo DS. The keyboard-space was taken up by the controls, while the screen was above. Graphics-wise, it was surprisingly ahead of its time. What you did was you uploaded a full body photograph of yourself, lined up the limbs and head, and voila, you had your avatar!

This particular console had been bought by an incredible woman named Igraine, for the eleven year old boy whom she had fearlessly rescued. Merlin ran a finger gently over the sticker, feeling the scratchy remnants of its glitter-glue border. On it was a simple little message, rounded off with a clumsy smiley face and the letter I, in wide swirling print.

For the most handsome Prince on Fairytale Island!!!

Obviously his avatar had to change, lest he wanted to continue with the slenderman-esque creature created by his imaginative twelve-year-old self.

Merlin had to stand on his bed to get himself into the frame of his plug-in webcam. Not really knowing what to do with his arms, he did the only rational thing and T-posed. In his pyjamas. In front of a game for preteens. At twenty past two in the morning. 

If one of his housemates came in now he would kill them and dissolve the body in acid.

The screen counted down, readying the camera.

Three… Two… O-ghlowhfsajfhlsdkhlhdsjfh…………….Error………...rebooting, thank you for your patience.

Well. That seemed fair.

Hopping down as quietly as possible, Merlin watched the static clear from the screen like ghost lightning. He should have expected it. Motorcyclists had long said that ‘Love is when you like someone as much as your motorbike.” Merlin was inclined to disagree, because his bike was the one piece of mechanical equipment that didn’t figure it should explode whenever he dared breathe nearby. No bond would ever be able to trump that kind of loyalty.

Reservedly, he fiddled with a Rubix cube until the screen returned to normal. Nothing seemed that wrong with it.

Until his avatar loaded again.

A brief visit to the bathroom mirror was made so that Merlin could examine both his eyes, but when he came back they found the same sight.

Where there should have been a tall, thin, carrot-shaped, Merlinish mage character, there now resided a tiny, stout- if still Merlinish- one. And it was green. Not even a nice green, like fern or emerald or sage. This was a green that reminded a person of snot and nothing else… Except maybe a dehydrated basil plant.

Merlin bashed his head against the edge of his desk. What had that witch done to him? Why was he concerned about this? 

Giving up on answering that question, he looked up to face the diminutive monster that bobbed in place like an excitable pea with legs. Maybe it wasn’t so bad, he tried to reason. If he didn’t focus, it almost looked like an obese, unwell Gollum. But hey, maybe the other players will like that kind of thing?

Without realising it, Merlin scoffed out loud at himself.

Other players? This game had a range of a thousand kilometres squared and was being handled by a technopollyon (a word that was not a word until Merlin discovered there was no term for a person who inadvertently breaks technology, but there were a multitude of Greek words that he could misuse in its place.)

The chances of another pathetic Englishman within his third of Essex being in possession of and online on Fairytale Island at two-thirty that night, were not worth thinking about. Because they were nonexistant.

With that in mind, Merlin took one last bitter look at his avatar, and continued resolutely on to game.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Wow! Thanks for reading that!!! I hope you enjoyed it!

(Btw, Gwen, Viviane and Briar are my headcannons for the end credit characters and Morgan LeFey is the fairy princess)

Again, thanks so much. I’m putting the next chapter up at some point, this one from Snow’s perspective.

[subtlereferencetomyinterests]

The Ballroom

Ao3,  MasterPost

Relationships: Roceit

I know how to write Roman, in theory. In practice, it takes hours to get right. And yet, I love him. Oh! And I actually remembered to insert the italics this time, so, you’re welcome :3.

Warnings: Self-Doubt, Delusions/Hallucinations (they r not that bad), slight Trust Issues (Janus, obvs), Established Relationships, First ‘i love you’, Mentions of Greek Mythology, References to Musicals (Hadestown Hadestown Hadestown!! they sing Wedding Song together ok??), and I vaguely imply that Roman has ADHD because of course I do. 

Word count: 2,443

Every side had a room. Duh, common knowledge. The inhabitants of the Mindscape constantly barged in and out of each other’s domains without so much as a knock, usually to no more reaction than an irritated sigh. It wasn’t like it was a big deal to anyone, much like an actual family. If a trait wanted absolute privacy, well, they always had somewhere else to retreat to.

Thus brings us to the Extensions. It was well understood that you never visited one without express permission from the side who owned it. They were entirely personal settings, specific to the ‘individual’ that used it. The Extensions shifted and changed over time, just as each side’s representation, outlook, and even definition changed, but there had been a certain consistency upheld throughout the last three or four years. 

Roman’s was a theater, beautiful and ornate with a high-ceiling and perfect lighting, which of course always followed him. Logan’s was a planetarium, allowing the user to view any part of the night sky, and providing essentially all known information on astrology for those that wanted it. Patton had a garden, always filled with fresh produce and hundreds of different types of flowers; humble fountains and birdbaths were dotted along the narrow brick path that ran through the large space, at which he could often be found resting with a bunch of chrysanthemums. Remus’ was, predictably, a museum filled with almost innumerable odd and grotesque objects and devices from history- it also served as an art gallery, on occasion, offering a strange sort of beauty. Virgil’s had changed the most over the years, but it had seemed to settle on something of a vinyl record library, complete with bean bag chairs to lounge in while you listened: perfectly fitting for the hipster emo that he was at heart.

And that left Janus. Of course, no one besides the snake himself had ever seen his Extension, and for a good long time he’d intended it to stay that way. It was his business and nobody else’s- why should he want to invite someone into such a personal environment? 

But then he went and made the mistake of falling for just the someone to answer that rhetorical question. Someone who would surely be overjoyed to see it, and whom Janus loved dearly enough to maybe possibly let him.

It was a ballroom. Obviously Roman would love something like that. 

When Janus first began contemplating showing his boyfriend the Extension, he’d wanted to do something along the lines of a masquerade. He quickly deemed it excessive for Roman’s first visit, though. Just a standard setting, then! But, no, Janus didn’t want to have any of his prop people distracting his very easily distracted partner, so that was out of the question. So he would stay simple. Simple didn’t get a big reaction. Simple could be brushed under the rug if it went somehow awry (and was also less likely to go awry). Simple let him breathe.

Yet somehow it remained terrifying. Honestly, Deceit was second-guessing letting Roman in even as he was leading them down the lengthy hallway, feeling regret clawing at him with each muffled thump of his heeled boots on the carpet. 

“I want to show you something.”

“Oh? And what would that be, Loveliest Lie of All?” 

“You’ll see when we get there. Come along, before I change my mind.”

Janus extended a gloved hand, which Roman took with enthusiasm. He was raring to go without even the slightest idea what they were doing. It was a hopelessly endearing quality. 

“Whatever it is, I’m sure I’ll love it but half as much as you.”

“Only half?” Janus teased, narrowly avoiding returning the ‘L’ word, yet again (he wanted to, God did he want to, but the word died on his tongue every time).

Roman didn’t bat an eye at his deflection, merely leaning forward with a sappy smile.

“Naturally; nothing can match you, my dear.”

Yeah, no, he was committed now. This was, without a doubt, happening. Janus continued to lead his boyfriend along the hall, fielding all questions until they finally came upon the door. It was far taller than the ones around it, colored a bright canary-yellow. The trait took a deep breath and turned to Roman, whose face was bright with recognition as to what kind of entryway this was.

“This is your-”

“Yes.”

“You’re really going to show me-”

“Yes.”

“Oh,” Roman traced a hand down the door frame, as if it would shatter at a firmer touch. His eyes were wide with excitement, a grin stretching across his lips.

Janus felt as though his stomach were doing cartwheels.

“Well, then, what are we waiting for?” It was a genuine question; Deceit was open to suggestions for reasons to wait. But Roman clearly hadn’t picked up on the hesitance, too caught up in his own exuberance. 

Janus took a deep breath. He pulled the door open, and the two sides were immediately enveloped by brilliant golden light.

The ballroom was a showy place, which mightn’t have seemed to be the deceitful trait’s nature, at first glance- but, oh, did Janus adore just a dash of gaudiness. 

Roman already knew this about him. Roman knew a lot of things that took a careful eye and a lot of trust. 

Janus took the first step forward, holding Creativity’s hand in his and leading him into the baroque construct. The door snapped shut behind them, leaving them in glowing light cast down from crystalline chandeliers. Above them arched the ceiling, displaying murals of greek myths in perfect detail. The paintings danced and shifted around each other, even moving down the walls, as they played out dozens of ancient stories. It was like an animated oil painting, however impossible that would sound to a real human. 

Soft music filled the ballroom, drifting around the pair. Janus usually dressed his Extension up with fake guests; people of his own design for him to talk and laugh with. It felt safe, reassuring even, to be completely in control of things, including your compatriots. But now, the room was empty, save for him and his real guest. Janus turned his gaze back to Roman, trying to disguise his nervousness.

“Well?” 

Roman crosses his arms over his chest. He clicks his tongue, giving the surroundings a sweeping glance. At best, he’s unimpressed, at worst, he’s outright disdainful. 

“All that buildup, really, for this? What is even the point of such an Extension, Janus?” Roman’s intricately designed shoes clack against the hardwood floor as he further examines the room. He stops in the center, whirling to face Janus. “I’d hoped that this big reveal would make up for all of your other failings as a partner, but I suppose you’re just fated to disappoint me! And it took you months to show me this waste of architecture? Now, that’s just pathetic.”

With a scoff, Roman leaves. 

The scene Janus had unconsciously played came to an abrupt end. He staggered, blinking his eyes back into focus. Roman wasn’t looking down at him, gaze cold and unwavering; rather, he was spinning around the room as he drank in the decorations. He quite looked like he’d never had a malicious thought in his entire life, joyful as he was.

“Oh, Jay, this is gorgeous! Not as much as you, of course- but it is just astounding,” he beamed at Janus, who offered a smirk in return and rolled his mismatched eyes (though he could feel the human side of his face flush bright at the compliment). Before he had a proper response, however, Roman’s gaze caught on something behind him. The trait crossed the room in just a few strides. 

“Is that…?”

Janus turned on his heel and followed, his eyes landing on the painting that distracted his prince. The tale of Orpheus and Eurydice, a colorful-yet-accurate depiction, ‘painted’ in a somewhat impressionist style. It was easily one of Janus’ favorite myths; evidently Roman was a fan just the same. 

“I’m glad you like it,” the honesty was bitter on his tongue. It was well worth it. “I find mythology inspiring, to say the least.” 

Creativity ran his hand along the mural, a giddy laugh escaping him. Without the slightest of warnings, he spun around and grabbed one of Janus’ hands in both of his.

“Lover, tell me, if you can- who’s gonna buy the wedding bands? Times being what they are. Hard and getting harder all the time,” his singing was elated and bubbly, the lilt of one well-familiar with the lyrics he recited. Janus laughed and leaned into his partner. 

“You want to be Eurydice?”

“Just play along!” 

Janus sighed, far too fond for the exasperation he’d been aiming for, and pulled Roman in close. He settled his hands at The Prince’s hips, leading them in a mostly formless dance.

“Lover, when I sing my song, all the rivers sing along. And they're gonna break their banks for me, to lay their gold around my feet. All a-flashing in the pan, all to fashion for your hand. The river’s gonna give us the wedding bands,” once, Roman had told him his voice was honey, slow and sweet. That conversation came back to him, bringing a lanquidity to his singing just so he could soak in the lovestruck expression it earned him. 

“Lover, tell me, if you're able, who's gonna lay the wedding table? Times being what they are. Dark and getting darker all the time.”

Their simply patterned steps led them in wide circles around the room. Janus subconsciously let the jazz that usually rang across his ballroom slip away, only to be replaced with the instrumentals to their ballad. 

“Lover, when I sing my song, All the trees gonna sing along, And bend their branches down to me, To lay their fruit around my feet. The almond and the apple, And the sugar from the maple. The trees gonna lay the wedding table.” 

And so on they continued for the song’s duration- taking their turns with the lyrics, eyes only for each other despite the beauty of their surroundings.

When Janus reached the last line, he drew out the note until his voice faded to nothing more than a lingering hum of the tune. Softly, his standard background music returned to accompany them as the remnants of their duet slipped away. 

They eased to a gentle sway. Roman dropped his head onto Janus’ shoulder with a sigh.

“Thank you.”

“What for, my dear?”

“Bringing me here. Trusting me,” Creativity mumbled into his collar. 

“Of course,” Janus whispered, letting go of the side’s hips to properly wrap his arms around him. 

Roman raised his head, just enough to look Deceit in the eyes. 

“I love you,” he announced, open and honest and completely unexpectant- everything that Janus wasn’t. It was the same way he always said it; with a fierceness as though he was proving his point in an argument, yet somehow remaining gentle and caring. A mere statement, one that never even hinted at a need for response. It simply was, a fact thrown into the world with reckless abandon. 

Nothing terrified Janus more. But, between the duet and Roman’s reaction to the Extension, Janus felt something a bit more foreign than fear welling in him. 

Bravery.

“I love you, too.”

Roman pulls back from their embrace, a cruel laugh falling from his lips. He fixes Janus with a patronizing glare.

“Oh, you love me, do you? You sure know how to show it,” he taunts, backing further away from the snake. There is something dark that glints behind his eyes. “I only tell you that I love you a million times a day, to radio silence, and it’s only now you deign to reciprocate? Barely any fanfare, as though such a confession alone makes up for all the doubt you’ve brought me?”

Janus tries to speak, to make use of and flaunt his eloquence, to orchestrate those perfect sentences to craft himself some semblance of a defense. But all he can do is choke. 

“I don’t know why I ever expected better from you. It’s obvious that you can’t change, Deceit.”

And Roman leaves. 

Except he didn’t. It wasn’t real. Janus squeezed his eyes shut for just a second, blinking them open to see the real Roman- who, thankfully, seemed to be too preoccupied to take note of his… episode.

Roman was wide-eyed, completely still in Janus’ arms. He tilted back, and for a petrifying second the deceitful side thought he really was going to let go, but thankfully he didn’t go far. The Prince gripped tightly to Janus’ shoulders, holding on as if to keep himself steady. He let out a shaky laugh- soft and reverent and nothing like his nightmare version’s cackle. Because he wasn’t that, despite what Deceit’s mistrusting mind would try to convince him. 

“You said it,” Roman said at last, his voice small but his smile wide.

“I’m aware,” finally, am I right? Janus bit his tongue on that. I’m sorry, he couldn’t find the strength to say. I mean it, I’ve meant it for so long, please believe me, also went unspoken. What he settled on was:

“This is the easiest thing in the world for me.”

“I’m so proud of you.”

“Why? You tell me-” a shiver chased down his back, “-you tell me you love me a million times a day.”

“Yes, I do that. I suppose it’s just in my nature, after all. Regardless, it would be wrong of me to expect you act like me, because you’re you. And ‘you’ happens to be someone I love very, very much.”

Janus let out a breath he hadn’t known he was holding. 

“... I love you, too.”

Roman chuckled, bonking his nose against Janus’ affectionately.

“Two in one day? I must be the luckiest man in the world.”

“Shut up, I’m only to make up for lost time. Don’t get used to it.”

“Of course not, my love.” 

Janus sighed- relief, mostly, but infatuation crept its way into the sound. He picked up humming to the light melodies that played, resuming the swaying movements that had been forgotten in the face of confessions. Roman followed his lead, his grin delightfully infectious. 

“We should get back soon,” the artistic trait admitted, sounding very much like he considered it someone else’s problem- one that he did not intend on concerning himself with, at that. Janus hummed, feigning deep thought. He let his head fall against Roman’s shoulder, eyes falling closed as he responded. 

“Just one more song, Darling?” 

“Oh, if you insist.”

“Insist I do.” 

Roman stayed.

@shrimp-crockpot

[brwnskin-bunnyteeth]

Golden

A/N: Here it is!! About 2K of gibberish and longing. Hope y’all like this!! I did this as part of @hsogolden ‘s #FineLineFicChallenge. Sorry for the late entry! :-)

summary: heartbreak, Shakespeare, and bars

When she first met Harry, Y/N didn’t know what to make of him. The bar was dark, starlight shining down on a local performing spoken word, the population focused most on the performers and in booths, her friend waving her toward her barstool. Taking in her surroundings, admiring the various vintage posters and shirts that decorated the walls, the exposed brick and homely booths, and the brown-haired bartender that was currently chatting up her friend. 

His hair, curly, a golden brown mess on top of his head, hands decorated with green and yellow nail polish and a spattering of rings, a gaudy dress shirt thrown on them. 

She’d been friends with Dahlia long enough to know that Harry was an ex, someone that she didn’t connect with romantically but claimed he was her “shag soulmate”. But there wasn’t much that she knew about him, just that they were merely friends with benefits at the moment, an arrangement that was largely on hold as long as Dahlia stuck with her current fling. 

His hand reached out to her as she sat down, a dimple appearing on his face, “ ‘m Harry.” 

“ Y/N,” she said, as her hand dwarfed under his large grasp, his fingers calloused, his eyes boring down into her as he nodded and repeated her name as if he were reciting ancient text and couldn’t mess up the pronunciation. Dahlia simply rolling her eyes, ordering a cocktail and shots, and jumping into a work story. 

Harry would join in here and there, chuckling at them. 

 And at times, he’d center his attention to her, head in hand as he intensely listened to her talk, his attention unwavering as cupid’s bow smites at her weary heart. Other moments, he’d be zoned out, listening to the slam poetry and serenades being played by locals and his hands would break the bubble they’d place around themselves whenever he was particularly enraptured. 

 Dahlia would later recant his behavior as normal, that he’d always been so impassioned and affected. Describing him as sensitive and dreamy-eyed.

 The night ended uneventfully after the last of the patrons mulled out at 1 am. Harry calling a cab as he and a coworker closed up. 

Her head full of dizzying thoughts when she was given his number, “I can tell we’re gonna be good friends, better to get this away with”, wide-eyed and just drunk enough to only be able to reply in a stuttering thanks as she drove away. His hand wriggling at her yellow cab, a faint dimple dotting the left side of his face, the sky clear and starry-eyed.

  Waking up, Y/N was greeted with, “ ‘til next time, good night xx. ” to her “ got home safely “ text. They’d only known each other for a night and he already had a hold on her. 

A nice cold shower brings her back to reality, as she scrubs his green eyes and cologne out of her system. His curly brown hair and easy smile invading her senses, butterflies flying about in her chest. It’d been so long, desire and infatuation feeling new and unnatural in her body. But she couldn’t let herself have a girly crush on a man like him, someone as enchanting as him—especially not one who regularly shags her friend. 

Anything romantic was just a figment of her mind, obviously starving for affection and latching onto anyone remotely nice and endearing. He was just a nice guy, one who kept an agonizing gaze on her face whenever she spoke, one who smelled really nice despite working a whole shift at the bar. There was nothing remarkable about him, nothing worth getting attached to.

And yet, it was like her body was punishing her for being away from him, dealing with withdrawals after only meeting him once. Chest hurting as she thought about him.

Two weeks would go by and she’s still thinking of him. She passes by his pub on bus rides and a second always comes where her fingers swipe to his number, yearning to feast her eyes on him again. 

Aphrodite herself would soon take pity on her state this night, Y/N unaware as she walks up the theater steps. Her mood, however, is morose when the night begins. Anxiety eats at her from the inside out, hands wringing as she avoids familiar faces in the theater hall. 

Large posters don the walls, the face of her ex spread out in colossal laminated fashion and staring down at the floor. 

It has been three months since Y/N’d seen him, her heart just as heavy as the day he left. It felt silly, still affected by his frame, still as love-sick, still as devastated. 

He looked good, he was doing well. Memories of auditions and line readings, of all the frustration and dedication and late nights, flood her and she can’t help but be delighted for him. He’d been working hard for so long, and securing a lead role in this play was a dream of his. 

Her ticket arrived after the fight, from when her presence was expected and assumed. And at first, she just ignored it; still too heartbroken to acknowledge his presence without tearing up. But she’d been preparing for this event for so long, too much of her energy wasted on him and this play, that it felt absurd to not at least go and see the damn thing. Even if she wasn’t attached to him anymore, even if she wasn’t even keen on theater. 

Y/N can feel eyes boring into her, a chill moving down her figure as she enters. At this moment, she can tell she’s not going to get through the night without at least one drink if she planned on staying placid. Too many of his friends, his family, and his coworkers occupy the space, people she hasn't spoken to for far too long. She wondered if any of them knew about what happened or if they missed her or if she was even welcomed anymore. 

The bar offers some relief; ordering a chill mojito, she admires the marble counter and intricate chandeliers on the ceiling, her eyes nervously looking around. And when her drink is placed in front of her, she reaches into her wallet, but her actions are interrupted when a familiar voice and ringed hand put some money down.

“Let me take care of that for you, bunty.” 

Y/N can feel her heart jump all the way up her throat, gasping up at his frame and meeting his sparkling emerald eyes for the first time in weeks. She can feel her face warm up, heart beating as he peers down and wraps an arm around the back of her barstool. All she can do for a second is gape and gasp out a small objection, “Harry I-”

But his hand comes up, shaking his head, “No, nope”, dimples protruding as he continues to smile at her. “I’ve got this” he simpers, ordering his own drink and leaning in as other patrons squeeze by to grab a drink before the show. His voice turns sincere, low, when he takes a full hard look at her, “You look nice, really like that color on you”

And she wants to admonish him, wants to push his money away, wants to question his behavior, but his scent envelopes her—feeling fixed under his gaze. Tension fills the air and she’s drawing her eyes over him as well. 

He’s wearing a red patterned vest with an embroidered oxford shirt collar peeking out at the top with the sleeves folded; his pants wide-legged and grayish-blue, loafers brown and heeled. His hair is parted in the middle, and his facial hair has grown, nails painted watermelon red and bright green. Several rings occupy his hands, and a pearl necklace winks at her from his neck and she breathes out a light, “So do you” before chasing her drink. 

He’s laughing now, music to her ears, and she wants to bottle it up and save it for later. The two of them take another glance at each other, grins on their faces, silence falling as they take sips of their drinks. 

The play begins after they make their way to their seats, the objection of her despair taking the stage. Seeing him for the first time in weeks affects her more than she realized it would. 

Y/N knew heartbreak. At age 13, she experienced her first. As a cruel joke, the second hottest boy in her grade level pulled her to the side and kissed her, called her sexy, all for a dare, to win $40 for kissing a pig. He’d stolen her first kiss, playing with her emotions for forty fucking dollars. Her first reaction was to kick him in the nuts. And it gave her some relief, but tears still stung her cheeks, his pain doing nothing to soothe the heartache he inflicted on her.

She spent the rest of the night hiding in the bathroom, too ashamed to tell her parents, too broken to even speak of the incident. Weeks later, a new boy from New York tells her that he fancies her, well all she could do was laugh. How could someone as cool and cute as him like her?  Her heart hardened then, the first of many betrayals. 

So when she met Benji, she let herself settle, let herself be taken in by the conceited prick who didn’t deserve her love. They’d been together for almost two years but had known each other longer, Benji’s mom running a daycare next door. And she’d loved Benji, still did. 

But, sitting there next to Harry, a thought occurred to her. Here is Benji, performing and doing an amazing and inspiring performance in front of industry folk. The fruits of his labor were finally blooming. Yet, she had little to show for those two years. It felt like a waste of her time, her youth. All of her focus was on him, not her. 

She felt disgusted, her eyes wetting up and shooting daggers in his direction, his eyesight blinded by the stage lights. She thought she’d gone through the worst of it, that she was done crying, and yet tears threatened to fall down her cheeks—-stomach churning and leg antsy. Why did she drag herself down here? What did she think was going to happen? Was he supposed to realize that he was wrong for cheating on her, for dumping her, and welcome her back in? Was that really what she wanted?

The Shakespearean play continued in the foreground, Y/N slipping into what felt like a panic attack. Her heart dug at her chest, her feet propping her back up and leading her through the double doors. 

The lobby is empty, one patron sitting at the bar, the play muffled but continuing in the background. Y/N feels the cold air and is granted with relief, head still spinning with negativity. Not a minute passes before the orchestra is unmuffled, the doors opening and showcasing Harry. He chases after her, concern on his face. 

She feels embarrassed, embarrassed for him to see her like this, embarrassed to have made a scene. She turns to tell him to leave her alone when she’s engulfed in his arms, head resting on hers. 

“You alright?”, his voice whispers as his arms rub her back, earnestly trying to calm her down. He’s looking at her, his eyes looking her up and down, trying to identify anything concerning. She’s humiliated, clutching onto his body like a toddler, internally deciding if she wanted to tell him everything. When she looks into his eyes, her lips detach from her teeth, and she tells him as much as he needs to know. 

While she explains everything, he’s nodding, his face serious as his hands continue to rub her shoulders and back. He squeezes her tighter, his eyebrows furrowing as he takes in everything. He’s so quiet that Y/N can���t help but feel as though she shared too much. That he was only pretending to care, being a friend of a friend. But then he’s grabbing her shoulders, voice tight, as he speaks up, “Y/N, he’s a dick. He’s an absolute prick, and he doesn’t deserve to be cried over. I’m so sorry he hurt you like that.” He’s letting out a breath, anguish appearing on his face, as he continues, “you are not hard to love. the right people will love you because of who you are, not despite you. you're worthy of that love, and I don’t know if I should be the one to give that to you, but I like you. And I’d like to try and be the one to give that to you.”

Harry’s gripping her hands now, the weight of his words affecting her as she searches his face for any deceit. She tries to speak, mouth opening and closing like a fish, pursing her lips as she gathers her bearings. “Harry, that’s...I don’t know what to say.” 

Mind racing as her mind begins to warp and twist his words. She’s rejecting his statement, mind unfurling and rejecting him.

He can feel her pull away, can see her do the mental gymnastics to reject his words, wracking his brain for some way to convince her otherwise. “I get that you’re scared. Rightly should be. But, you deserve happiness. I want to help you get over this talentless jerk. Wanna mend your broken heart.” 

His hands move to her jaw, bringing her closer and boring into her eyes, “I know I’m acting pathetic, bunty, you’re just so striking that I haven’t been able to go a day without thinking of you. You’ve got me under control, have since you walked into my bar. I can’t imagine the thought of anyone else when I’ve got you right here.”

The air is charged, their bodies close to one another, eyes faced squarely on each other. Y/N can feel her heartbeat out of her chest, hands trembling on his biceps. His face is backlit by the golden chandeliers of the lobby, the only other sounds either muffled or clinking glass bottles. 

He’s right, she’s scared. Scared of getting her heartbroken all over again, of being used by yet another man in her life. And yet, she wants to give in. His green eyes are tracing her features and she’s never before felt as snug and protected like this. 

The space between them closes and his nose slides against her, her eyes fluttering closed before softly responding, “I don’t know what to think. You’re so bare, so frank, that it’s scary. How do I know that you won’t do the same as him?”

Harry kisses her. He presses his lips against hers, their bodies pressed closer than ever, eyes shut, as they both enjoy the moment. Harry kisses her like his life depends on it, her jaw in his hands. He kisses her like no one else has ever done. She’s breathless as she chases after him, want increasing by the second. Arms reach his neck and pull at his hair, his grip on her back as the kiss deepens. 

Every fiber of her being is telling her to stop, that she shouldn’t trust him, that he’s just another smooth talker. But she can’t stop. His intoxifying taste has pulled her in, too drunk on his words and actions to even care anymore. 

Pulling away, his lips follow, until Y/N is pushing him back. Her hands rest on his shoulders as the two share moony-eyed looks. Catching her breath, thumb reaching to rub off a bit of her lipstick from his lips, Y/N drops her hands to his. She pulls his arm, his body following after her as she heads for the door, eyes hooded, “I don’t want to be alone tonight.” 

Harry smiles, dimples jutting out, as he nods and pulls her in for one last knee-wobbling kiss, as they head out the door and into the golden sunset. 

[multifandom-oneshots]

Surprise

Summary: After secretly dating for a while, Roy has a surprise for Alexandra. This is what we’ve taken to calling FLUFFSTANG! It’s partially set in a city that only shows up in FMA2003 but it’s basically their version of Venice! And it’s for the wonderful Sunflower! I hope it meets your standards.

*If there are errors, I apologize it wasn’t proofread by anyone other than me. I posted it anyway because I felt bad it was taking so long.*

Word Count: 1322

Disclaimer! I do not own Full Metal Alchemist or its characters, but the words and ideas below are mine!

Filling out paperwork wasn’t Alexandra’s favorite task. Though she did it anyway, and she did it hastily. She was putting initials here and there, checking off certain tasks, and writing dull reports when two more pieces of paper were deposited on her desk. They were tossed down onto the paper she was currently writing on. She looked befuddled up at her boss, and secret lover, who placed them there.

“Train tickets, sir?”

The Colonel grinned, “Yeah, we’re going on a brief mission, you and I.”

Alexandra stood and gathered her things. This was a command and not one she’d question. Her peers eyed her jealously, she got to leave and not do paperwork. After walking into an empty hall, Alexandra had inquiries.

“Where are we going?”

Roy looked into her eyes and there was a glint of mischief in his, “That’s top secret. I will tell you, though, you need to change into something more casual… more inconspicuous. Do you have any dresses?”

His blonde underling’s eyebrows furrowed, “I might have one or two… but is a dress really practical?” 

“Absolutely, the shorter the better.”

Smack.

They arrived at Alexandra’s apartment and changed out of their uniforms. Roy only had a small collection of casual clothes in a single drawer to choose from. The lack of selection didn’t bother him, though. He was honestly happy to have a space dedicated to him in her home. She stepped into the room in a modest sundress. White sheer layers flowed down to just above her knees and the straps met in a V on her chest. Dark eyes stared causing her to feel self conscious and twirl the ends of her golden hair. 

“Is this ok?” she spoke up.

His breath hitched, “Yeah, that’s perfect. You look perfect.”

The woman blushed and looked at her feet. She wasn’t used to being admired in this way. A soldier is seen as strong, but for Roy’s eyes only she is soft. She’d never wanted to be seen as dainty or weak; she worked hard to become who she is with the rank she has. No one could question her resolve or fortitude, but she could have that unwavering respect and doe eyed admiration from Roy. They stood in silence for a few moments but Alexandra broke it.

“Roy, we’re gonna miss our train.”

He swoops up his jacket and holds the door, “Right, sorry. Let’s go…” he leans in and whispers as she passes him, “Lover.”

The train station was bustling and as busy as usual. The Colonel had a pair of obnoxious sunglasses perched on his nose. A disguise, he called it. He also insisted Alexandra wear an equally gaudy floppy sun hat. Though she didn’t know why he was taking such measures, she thought it was cute how intensely goofy he was acting. They held hands and stayed close among the crowd, but Alexandra was fed up with her accessory.

“Why do I have to wear this? It’s not even that sunny out. I can’t see anything!”

Roy pulled her hat down in front of her face as she tried to take it off.

“Hey! Roy, what’s the point of a disguise. Wouldn’t us walking around in our uniforms be more inconspicuous considering we wear them everyday?”

This time he stopped and looked at her blankly; well blankly from what she could tell, his glasses obscured half of his face. Internally he was cursing her because of her constant questions and logic against his plans. He proceeded to shush her and board the train. She followed him into their compartment and sat across from him. 

“You can take your hat off now.”

She had already done so before he finished his sentence. He chuckled at her eagerness.

“Sorry for all of the secrets, Alexandra. I think you’ll be happy when you find out though.” 

“This better be a hell of a mission,” she pouts.

The Colonel leans forward and plants a soft kiss on her frown, lightening her mood. “It will be.”

A comfortable silence settles in the cabin for most of their ride. Alexandra’s face lights up when she sees the view outside the window. She saw beautiful blue canals in the distance and ancient buildings connected by bridges and waterways. Aquroya: the city on water.

“Aquroya! Roy, is this where the mission is? This place is sinking, it’ll be gone in a few years. I’ve always wanted to see it. I thought I never would.”

Roy sat back and smiled as he watched his heart excitedly jabber and press herself against the window. “Yeah… the thing is that there isn’t really a mission here.”

The blonde looked away from the city and back to him dejectedly, “What?”

“There’s not a mission, Alexandra. It’s a date. Surprise!”

Her expression morphed from disappointment to pure bliss. This whole time he was being shady and odd, she thought it was simply a part of the job. Her secret lover had been planning a romantic getaway for the two of them. She swapped seats and sat next to him, leaning her head on his shoulder. 

“You’re amazing. I love it, Roy.”

He put his arm around her, “I’m glad. I heard you telling Havoc you wanted to see the city before it sank. And I figured a nice lunch with a view, and a boat ride would be a nice first date. I know it’s a little late for a first date seeing as we’ve been together for a while... but with all the sneaking around we couldn’t really do it in Central City, huh?”

Alexandra melted hearing how much thought he put into this. Roy looked at his Lieutenant who was gazing up at him almost misty eyed and worried. 

“Hey, are you ok? Did I upset you?”

“No, of course not,” she touches his face, “No one has ever done anything like this for me before.”

He just smiled, “You deserve it, and you’re worth the effort.”

The train skidded to a halt and passengers exited their compartments along with the couple. Cheesy disguises were left behind. Because away from the city they were stationed they could be together unapologetically. Sunshine washed over the city, and reflections of the lovers in water smiled back at them. Hand in hand they explored the sinking wonder. They went to a cafe for lunch and ended their meal with a scone to share. Roy led them down to the canal to acquire a boat. When entering Alexandra nearly fell in, but the ever vigilant man caught her in time. They laughed about it and settled into the swaying canoe. 

“I hate that it can’t be like this all of the time,” he voices.

The golden haired beauty looked somber, “Me too. I’d love to be able to publicly claim Central City’s most eligible bachelor. But I have to keep dealing with my friends complaining that I’m too serious to get a man,” she laughed.

She caught him admiring her while she spoke.

“Why don’t we just stay here?”

“Stay here? In the Sinking City? I don’t know, Roy. We can’t quit our jobs… You’ll never be the Fuhrer if we give it all up.”

He looks disappointed in her answer, though he knows she speaks the truth. 

“You’re right. But I don’t want to hide anymore. I want to be able to say I love you to anyone who will listen like Maes does. I want to be that annoying about you.”

Alexandra paused to process what he had just said, she didn’t think he even realized the weight of his words. The sun dipped nearly level with the horizon, the sky almost mirrored the colors of their first confessional. Pinks, golds, and violets painted the water’s surface as well as the sky. And he said he loved her. He loves her. Those were the only words she cared about in those moments. 

She said them back.

[thatishogwash]

F is for Fey

This was written for @buttercuphijinks who requested Fey+BoKuro, and I went with a Mortal Instruments inspired story! Hope you enjoy it 

AO3

“Do not sign any contracts or agree to any bargains with faeries. Faeries love to haggle but will usually do so only if they are sure they will win. Do not eat or drink anything a faerie gives you. Do not go attend their magical revels under the hills. They will paint a beautiful picture of what awaits you there, but its beauty is false and hollow. Do not tease a faerie about their height. Do not expect direct answers to direct questions. Do expect indirect answers to indirect questions.”

-The Shadowhunters Codex

Kuroo woke with a throbbing headache.  It wasn’t the first time he had woken from sleep feeling so utterly terrible, it was a gift of being a Shadowhunter after all, always covered in bruises and aching all over.  But what wasn’t usual was Kuroo had no idea where he was or how he had gotten there.

The bed he laid atop was much more luxurious than anything Kuroo had even been near, let alone slept on.  Despite his pounding head, Kuroo wanted nothing more than to borrow further into the softest blankets and sheets he had ever known.  He was so warm and comfortable and that was weird in of itself.  Kuroo was always cold, they lived in an abandoned castle which was drafty.  So he knew it wasn’t a fellow Shadowhunter who had brought him here.

The thing that calmed Kuroo was he could still feel his parabatai, Sawamura, and that helped him breath a bit easier.  That rune could not be taken from him and he knew whatever situation he got himself into, Sawamura was well on his way to help pull him out.  Matsukawa wouldn’t be far behind, not that he cared much for the trouble Kuroo caused, but he was madly in love with Sawamura and would follow him anywhere.

At least Kuroo seemed to be fully clothed, except his boots had been removed.  He pushed himself up with a groan and assessed his surroundings.  As he had thought, he was in pure luxury and at first he thought he might have stumbled into Oikawa’s private rooms.  Oikawa was an ancient warlock, he owned a bar that served mostly Downworlders but Shadowhunters were welcomed.  Kuroo had spent most of his free time in Oikawa’s bar, searching for the one who had saved his life.

The place was beautiful, if not a little disorderly, and it was those two things that had Kuroo thinking this wasn’t Oikawa’s place.  Oikawa played with the lines of classy and gaudy with no hesitation, but he was extremely clean.  Plus, if Kuroo had passed out in his bar Oikawa was more likely to let him sleep it off on the floor than risk his bed.

Kuroo swung his feet over the side of the bed, locating his boots rather easily.  His hidden blades were still stuck inside.  Nothing had been taken from him and there was even a tray of fresh fruits and a glass of water on the nightstand.

The door flew open and Kuroo surged to his feet, reaching for his blades until he met amber colored eyes that he had seen only once.  Those eyes he had seen when they stopped a blade from digging out his heart, clear and strong in an almost too-beautiful face that shown with an inner light.

“You’re awake!”  Kuroo stood up straight, realizing he had hesitated to grab his weapon, which he had never done before.  He might owe this creature his life but he was still clearly one of the Fair Folk, part of the Court if his looks and the room they were standing in was anything to go by.

“Did you bring me here?”  Kuroo asked cautiously, not expecting a real answer because the fey simply did not answer when they could play with you.

“Yes I did.”  He moved forward, light on his feet and fast too, looking Kuroo up and down.  “Someone slipped something into your drink, thought it would be funny to drug the Shadowhunter.  Considering things have just calmed down I thought it would be best for you to sleep it off in-” Something clattered from down the hall, shouts were called out but the creature in front of Kuroo didn’t even flinch.

“Th- I am glad I was not left in their hands.”  Kuroo had almost thanked a fey, and the creature knew it by his sudden blinding smile.  “Why did you save me twice?”

“Because you are very beautiful.”  The creature admitted, somehow shy and proud at the same time.  Kuroo was surprised by that because most fey considered anyone besides those on the Court, ugly.  Kuroo knew he wasn’t anything special, many pointed out his hair was a disaster and he was covered in old scars and new.  His body was built as a weapon and as the years went on, he frowned more than he smiled.  “And I like your laugh.”  Kuroo looked down at him in shock.  No one liked Kuroo’s laugh.  It was not full of warmth and welcome like Sawamuras nor was it deep and charming like Matsukawa’s, even Oikawa’s bell-like laughter was better than his.

Kuroo watched someone skid down the hallway, on their back.  Then he saw nothing because large and wide wings were covering the door.  Black and white speckled like the feys hair, but built of feathers like bird.  Most fey who had wings had more of the irredesiant sort, colorful and delicate looking.

“You seem to be having some trouble.”  Kuroo couldn’t help but smirk at that because he could feel Sawmaura grow closer.  “I should go before anyone gets injured beyond repair.”  And Kuroo definitely meant the fey blocking Sawamura’s path.

The fey moved close to Kuroo, touching softly at the corner of Kuroo’s smirking mouth.

“What’s your name?”  Kuroo couldn’t stop himself from asking.

“Bokuto.”  He answered before something soft touched Kuroo’s hand.  “If you burn this I will come.”  Bokuto then moved out of Kuroo’s way.  He looked down at the long white and black feather in his hand.  The rules stated don’t accept fairy gifts but also do not anger the fey.  Kuroo slipped the feather into his pocket and gave Bokuto one last glance before striding down the hall ot find Sawamura and Matsukawa, as he thought.

“Let them go.”  A loud voice shouted from behind Kuroo.  All the soldiers suddenly shifted to the sides of the hall, clearing a path.  Sawamura looked like he was still going to fight until he saw Kuroo.

“You’re late.”  Kuroo called out, knowing how it would annoy his parabatai.

“You got captured by the fey.”  Sawamura shot back, wounding Kuroo’s ego.  Kuroo glanced back to see Bokuto leaning against the door leading into his room, grinning at Kuroo as if he knew how much the feather was itching in his pocket.

[invinciblebutterfly3]

Back to life. Back to reality. It has been almost a month since being back, and I still can’t get used to the fact that we are back home from our 3 week trip. It is crazy how one day I am in a part of the world and the next day I am on the complete opposite side. Since the beginning, I knew that this trip was going to be a trip to remember.

We were a big group. I went with my parents, my two sisters, their husbands and my nephew. So we were 7 and a half lol. This trip was so memorable for every single one of us.

Our first stop was Paris, France. What a great way to start our trip. It was one of the most expensive out of our whole trip, but we loved every minute of it. Our stay was 2 and a half days and 2 nights. We landed in the afternoon, and as soon as we got there we wasted no time and headed straight to the Eiffel Tower. We first went to our hotel to drop of our bags, had a quick dinner and it was go time. This was definitely a bucket list moment for all of us. We didn’t go up the tower, but just looking at how it lights up so beautifully was a dream come true. And this was just the beginning.

  We spent the next two days exploring the city, from the Sacre Coeur Basilique, the Notre-Dame, Louvre museum, and others. We moved around using the metro or uber. But for our tours we decided to purchase the Big Bus which made a stop at every single one of these places. You also have to experience the food, and of course, macarons. I loved every second in Paris. The city reminded me a lot of New York, with its rushed traffic, people rushing to and from work, tall buildings and high fashion.

  Our next stop was Italy, the country I was really looking forward to the most. It has to be one of the most beautiful countries in Europe. The place where you can enjoy some freshly baked pizza, guilt free. We got to visit Venice, Rome, Naples, The Amalfi Coast, Florence, Pisa, and Cinque Terre. In that same order too.

Venice was the first one we visited, which was definitely a very romantic place. I was very excited to experience my first time here. From the beautiful buildings, the canals overlooking the gorgeous scenes, and the gondola ride. I had gone on a Gondola ride before, but it was while visiting in Vegas. There is nothing that compares to getting on a Gondola in Venice. It was very charming.

  It was a bit cold and foggy during our visit, but we were still able to enjoy a lot. We spent 2 and a half days and 2 nights in Venice. We also had tons of gelato, despite how cold it was.

  The best thing about Venice is getting lost in the alleys, believe it or not. We enjoyed this part because it led us to some of the most beautiful canal views and buildings.

And then came Rome. I have to admit, my mind was blown in Rome. We spent a bit longer than 3 days. We spent 2 full days touring the ancient ruins, the Colosseum, the Vatican Museums, and many others. It is so amazing to see how the ancient history it is still standing. Everywhere you looked was mesmerizing. All you can think about is how beautiful the architecture is and how beautifully detailed and colored the paintings are. It is definitely an inspiration.

I wasn’t too happy with our hotel or the city itself, but I loved being able to experience the places we visited. Of course, we also tried the delicious food, we had tons of pizza and pasta. In Rome we moved around on foot and also by taxi. They also have the option of the metro and bus.

From here we headed to Naples, which was our pit stop to visit the Amalfi Coast. Originally we weren’t going to stay in Naples, but it was recommended to us to stay here if we were going to the coast. We only spent a full day here before heading to the coast the next day. But this was still enough to get a sense of the city. We walked around the city without a set itinerary, in search of the best pizza in Italy, which we found. I have to say, the pizza was to die for. It is definitely a crazy city and you have to be very careful with pickpockets, but it is still beautiful.

The next day we started our tour to the Amalfi Coast. Although I would’ve loved it for it to be warm weather so we could jump in the water, it was still breathtaking. Wow! What a place. You have the choice of traveling the area on the bus, or by car, but we decided to do it with a private tour, to avoid getting lost and so we could enjoy the most of it. I fell in love with the views. We stopped by Sorrento, Positano and Amalfi Town. We walked around the towns, but mostly enjoyed the ocean views. This is definitely a must!

Next, Florence. My favorite out of all the places we visited during our whole trip. We arrived here late at night and stayed for another 2 and a half days. Out of all the places we visited, this one was the one that felt the coziest to me, and where we felt the safest. It had some of the most amazing views too.

One of the main things I loved about Florence, other than its amazing views, the architecture, fashion, culture, and loving people, was that everything is within a few minutes walk. So I highly recommend to ditch any plans you may have of using the bus, or car, unless you’re not able to walk for long periods of time. It is such a beautiful small city. We visited many places here, like the Galleria dell’Accademia where you can find the famous Michelangelo’s David, the Mercato Centrale, Santa Maria Del Fiore Cathedral and Duomo, Ponte Vecchio, Boboli Garden and others.

Definitely spend your time exploring Florence. It quickly became my favorite after only a few hours here.

From here we left early to Pisa, where we only spent a few hours. It was a super quick one, but we were still able to enjoy the highlights of the city. Of course, we had to visit the leaning tower of Pisa and take the famous picture with it.

Our next stop was La Spezia, which was actually our stay to be able to visit The Cinque Terre. We didn’t really get to enjoy La Spezia much, only at night for dinner.

For our second day here, we took our day trip to Cinque Terre. From our stay, we purchased a day pass to all 5 lands, which allowed us to hop on and off the train as many times as we wanted to.

Cinque Terre is a lot like the Amalfi Coast. It overlooks the water of the Lingurian Sea, and it has some of the most amazing views you can ever experience. Walking around the towns is also breathtaking. The five lands are Monterosso, Vernazza, Corniglia, Manarola and Riomaggiore. They all left me speechless.

From here, we had an early train ride back to France, but this time we were visiting Nice. This was another place that we didn’t really have in mind to visit, but I am glad we did because it was super cute. We decided to make the stop here because it was going to be Thanksgiving Day for us, and we didn’t want to spend the day on the train on our way to Barcelona which was the next place we were going to.

But I am glad we made the stop. Nice is a small city but is full of charm. You are able to shop around on the main boulevard while making your way to the beach. We were able to enjoy one of the best meals here out of our whole trip. This is also a great place to rent a bike and enjoy a ride up and down the coast.

Our last stop was Barcelona, Spain before heading back to Paris. By this point, I was exhausted. Little did I know that Barcelona was going to be the place where we were going to walk the most. We arrived to Barcelona at night, so we didn’t have much to do, but to go to a nice restaurant for a nice dinner. We enjoyed some tapas and Paella.

We then spent the next two days exploring the whole city. When I say the whole city, I mean it. We walked around all day, about 8-10 miles, but it felt like 100. You do have the choice of taking transportation, but we decided to just walk. We definitely underestimated the amount of walking we would do.

But despite that, I loved Barcelona. There is soooo much to do here, that the 2 full days we spent here were only a teaser. From La Sagrada Familia and many other of Gaudi’s creations, to the beautiful plazas, the Magic Fountain of Montjuic, and Park Guell. Everything was just beautiful. I wasn’t expect to love Barcelona as much as I did.

After here, we headed back to Paris and left the next day back home.

Overall, I love every single second of our trip. We did experience some under the weather moments, a stomach virus and even some bed bugs, but that’s just part of the experience. I highly recommend for everyone to do this trip. It was worth every single penny.

Here are some things you should know about your first visit to Europe:

Tip # 1: Visit during slow season. We were able to enjoy a lot because we didn’t have to wait in long lines. We visited in November, which was a bit colder than expected, but I hear that late September/October, or late March/April are great times to visit as well, less traffic and good weather. Also, keep in mind that things may cost you more when you go during summer time.

Tip # 2: Do not squeeze too many things in. If you have the time, great. Do it! But if you are going during peak season, or won’t be purchasing any tours, then try to schedule your time for transportation. Also, leave some space for spontaneous things.

Tip # 3: Prepare snacks for the way. Try to purchase them at markets near your hotel. This will save you tons because it will help you avoid buying something to eat in every corner. Do enjoy the local food, of course. We tried to always get a hotel that included breakfast, and prepared something for lunch, so that all we had to really sit down for was dinner. We were able to save money and time this way. We also waited to ask the locals what they recommended for us to eat, instead of looking for restaurants online. Avoid any restaurants near tourist places.

Tip # 4: Look for a place to stay that is close to the train station (if you are going from city to city), or local metro for easier transportation and less walking. Get familiar with the map of the area you’ll be staying in and places you’ll be visiting. Get familiar with the metro routes.

Tip # 5: Contact your Bank before leaving, to let them know that you will be making purchases in a different country so that they don’t block your card. Also, ask if they charge you for using your card, if they have any fees, to see if its more convenient to only use cash. You should still carry a certain amount in cash.

Tip # 6: Try to purchase your tickets early, and when I say early, I really mean early. We bought our plane tickets almost a year ahead of time, and the train tickets (from city to city) we purchased months in advanced. Same with the place you’ll be staying and any tours that you will be doing. Trust me, this will help you save A LOT. There are also tickets in each country which allow you to skip the lines at most of the museums.

Tip # 7: The TRIPADVISOR app was a big help before and during our trip. In finding where to stay, where to eat, and even the places to visit. Also, download the app maps.me. And we purchased a lot of the things we needed for our trip, like our Travel Power Adapter , through Amazon .

Tip # 8: Try to pack light. We went in the fall, so we had to carry lots of jackets and boots, which made it harder for us. We had to carry our heavy bags everywhere, up and down the trains, stairs, it was crazy. Even when you take a taxi somewhere, you may still have to walk with your bags, plus elevators are rare in most places. This was definitely our workout during the whole trip.

Tip # 9: WEAR COMFORTABLE SHOES AND CLOTHES. I can’t stress this enough.

Tip # 10: Lastly, be aware of pickpockets, or people asking you to sign anything, to look at something. Keep your bags tight while walking or taking the train or escalators. Don’t let anyone help you with your luggage, and watch your bags while on the train. Don’t sign any petitions.

Theres just so much to consider and see when you are planning a trip, which is what made me want to share my experience with you.

Well, I hope that this post helps you during your next visit to Europe. And if you do follow it, or take any tips from here, please write me. I want to know how it went for you. Don’t forget to visit the post for each one of the places I visited, to see the exact itinerary we followed.  

Get ready for lots of walking, lots of eating delicious food, and lots of WOW moments. Have fun!!

Do you have any other places you liked during your visit? Any questions or comments?

Here are the recommended Itineraries for my trip:

3 Day Trip to Paris France – Tips and What to do

2 Day Trip to Venice – Tips and What to do

2 Day Trip to Rome – Tips and What to do

1 Day Trip to Naples – Tips and What to do

1 Day Trip to Amalfi Coast – Tips and What to do

2 Day Trip to Florence – Tips and What to do

1 Day Trip to Pisa – Tips and What to do

1 Day Trip to Cinque Terre – Tips and What to do

1 Day Trip to Nice, France – Tips and What to do

2 Day Trip to Barcelona – Tips and What to do

  My first trip to Europe: France, Italy, Spain – Tips and What to do! Back to life. Back to reality. It has been almost a month since being back, and I still can’t get used to the fact that we are back home from our 3 week trip.

[the-desolated-quill]

The Pandorica Opens - Doctor Who blog

(SPOILER WARNING: The following is an in-depth critical analysis. If you haven’t seen this episode yet, you may want to before reading this review)

New Who doesn’t exactly have a good track record when it comes to its series finales. Russell T Davies had a horrid tendency to make his finales bombastic, gaudy slushfests that usually had high stakes but very little impact. How does Moffat compare with his first of a two part finale? 

Well The Pandorica Opens is a nice, welcome change of pace. Instead of this grand, epic narrative, Moffat keeps everything very small and compact. Yes there are 12,000 spaceships in the sky, but the story is mostly contained within the caverns beneath Stonehenge. The only real threat comes from a lone Cybersuit trying to assimilate a new human host, and that was fantastic. A creative use of Cyber lore that was very reminiscent of a John Carpenter movie. Love it. There also seems to be much more emphasis on characters rather than spectacle, specifically on Amy and Rory.

Oh yeah, Rory is back. Like I said previously, I knew even at the time that Rory wasn’t really dead, but fair’s fair. I wasn’t expecting him to come back as a Roman centurion (I do have issues with this, but I’ll come to that later). A big chunk of the episode is dedicated to Amy and Rory reuniting and Amy not remembering him. Both Karen Gillan and Arthur Darvill are incredible together, selling the intense emotions their characters are feeling like its going out of season. The ending in particular was both shocking and moving as Rory cradles Amy’s body after he accidentally shoots her.

Matt Smith is also great. The obnoxious weirdness has thankfully been toned down a bit after The Lodger and there are a number of good moments. My favourite being the sequence with the Cyberman arm, but the scene where the Doctor comedically realises that Rory has implausibly returned from oblivion is a close second for me just because it could have been so easy to have fucked that up and made it feel awkward and forced, but Matt Smith pulls it out of the bag. Alex Kingston also does a good job as a mercifully less smug River Song. Okay the Cleopatra scene was incredibly cringeworthy, but her ‘you’re all barbarians now’ speech to the Romans more than made up for it.

If you’re after decent characterisation and good performances, then The Pandorica Opens should be more than satisfactory. If however you’re looking for a good story to go with it, you’re going to be disappointed because this is where the episode falls flat on its face.

Let’s start with the Pandorica. What is it? It’s a prison. The most powerful prison ever constructed with deadlock seals and time locks and so on to contain whatever’s inside... and is incredibly easy to open.

But who or what is inside the Pandorica? Well according to legend it’s some kind of goblin/trickster/warrior. The most feared being in all the cosmos.

Well gee, I wonder who this could be referring to. I mean it could be anybody. No, but seriously. It’s definitely Omega. (Just out of curiosity, the people who came up with this theory, were you just humouring Moffat or were you really that thick?)

Yes, obviously there’s nothing inside the Pandorica because obviously it’s meant to be for the Doctor. Not exactly a shocking twist, is it? A demented cabbage could have worked that one out what with the painfully obvious hints. But what makes this twist even more annoying is the fact that it doesn’t make even the slightest bit of sense.

So the Pandorica was created by an Alliance of the Doctor’s greatest enemies.

Remember back in Doomsday when the Daleks and Cybermen fought each other? Yeah I didn’t like it either, but Russell T Davies got one thing right. The Daleks and Cybermen would never work together because of their totally opposing ideologies. Daleks are driven by xenophobia and hatred, whereas Cybermen are driven by a desire to ‘save’ humanity. Daleks want to kill and conquer. Cybermen want to fix and improve. Now you’re expecting me to believe that these two polar opposite Who baddies can not only put their differences aside, but are also willing to work with Sontarans, Sycorax, Judoon, Slitheen, Draconians, Autons, Zygons, Silurians... wait! What the fuck are the Silurians doing there?! Why don’t you just throw in the Ood too and be done with it?!

Then there’s the question of why they’re building this Pandorica in the first place, even going to the trouble of visiting Amy’s house and extrapolating memories of Romans and shit. They believe the Doctor is going to destroy the whole of space and time. I get that (actually I don’t, but I’ll come to that), but if that’s the case, wouldn’t it be easier to just kill him? Why are you going to such ridiculous lengths to capture him when you can just blow him up WITH YOUR 12,000 SPACESHIPS?!!!

And why do you have 12,000 spaceships anyway? It only takes a couple of plastic Romans to shove the Doctor inside the Pandorica. Seems a bit like overkill to me.

Also what’s the point of the transmitter? The Pandorica transmits a message to everyone from the Daleks to the Zygons to even Vincent Van Gogh. The message beams across all of time and space. Everybody hears it... except the one person they’re trying to lure to the Pandorica in the first place.

The only reason the Doctor shows up is because River Song defaces an ancient cliff-face. If Van Gogh’s painting was never discovered, the Doctor would never have showed up at Stonehenge to be locked up, would he? Who the fuck came up with this plan? Mr. Bean?

But the stupidest thing of all is that despite the Alliance having the resources to visit Amy’s house, extrapolate memories, create plastic Romans and build a perfect prison based on a children’s picture book, not one of them has the brainpower to work out that the Doctor isn’t the only one that can fly the TARDIS.

Epic fail for the villains, and I wish I could say that’s the end of it, but it gets worse. Let’s talk about Moffat’s crack.

We know how the cracks in time work, right? If the light touches you, you get erased from existence. You don’t just die. You were never born in the first place. Those are the rules. Well, like with the Angels in Flesh And Stone, Moffat once again breaks his own rules for plot convenience. Turns out you’re not completely erased from existence after all. You leave traces behind. Like an engagement ring or a photograph. How can either of those exist if Rory doesn’t exist? Fucked if I know! Also, apparently if you can remember someone, they can magically come back. So how come those soldiers from Flesh And Stone didn’t miraculously return when Amy remembered them? Because Moffat is a shit writer. That’s why. What’s the point of getting invested in a story if the writer just keeps changing the rules whenever he feels like it?

Also I expect you’re wondering how the Alliance were able to recreate a plastic Rory with all his memories from a single photograph despite the fact he never existed. Well apparently... he’s a miracle.

No. Really. You heard that right. According to the Doctor, there are some impossible things in the universe that cannot be explained, and we call them miracles.

I know that Moffat said in an interview once that he’s always seen Doctor Who as a fairytale, but this is taking the piss. You can allude to fairytales, sure. Borrow elements and draw parallels, but at the end of the day Doctor Who is a sci-fi show. If you use actual fairytale solutions to solve sci-fi problems, you’re just cheating the audience and making us question what the fuck is going on.

Somewhere underneath this convoluted mess is an emotional character piece trying to get out. Unfortunately it’s hampered by a writer being too clever for his own good.

[travelguy4444]

Barcelona Itinerary: How to Spend Your Time in This Incredible City in 2019

Posted: 1/7/19 | January 7th, 2019

Barcelona is one of the most popular destinations in Europe. It’s a city that I’ve been to many times.

Once a major city in the Roman Empire, the city still places an important role in the region and is home to millions of residents and visitors enjoying all the delicious sangria and gin, mouthwatering food, stunning beaches, warm weather, the rich history and culture, and unique architecture that Barcelona is famous for.

Barcelona is one of the most vibrant, fun, energetic cities in the world.

Barcelona is such a popular place that in recent years it’s even had to clamp down on “overtourism” to help reduce the number of visitors. (This is something I fully agree with since cities must learn to balance tourism with local life.)

With so much to see and do in and around Barcelona, where do you begin? How many days do you need to visit?

I think to really get a feel for Barcelona you should plan for four or five days. While you could see it in less, you’ll do yourself a disservice if you rush your visit. This is a city of late night dinners, late morning, and afternoon siestas.

Life isn’t rushed here and neither should your visit.

This 2-5 day itinerary highlights all the best things to see and do and help you organize your visit so you can see it all!

Barcelona Itinerary: Day 1

Take a free walking tour

I love free walking tours. I think they are a wonderful way to get to know a new city, find your way around, and learn some history in the process. (And, since they are filled with traveler too, they can also be a good way to meet other people.) My recommended walking tour companies in Barcelona are:

Sandeman’s

Free Walking Tours Barcelona

Free Tours By Foot

Get lost in the Barri Gotic

Barcelona’s old Gothic Quarter is my favorite part of town, filled with narrow, winding streets and historic buildings. Spend a few hours getting lost in this district. To me, it’s the most beautiful area in the city. The area also has numerous attractions worth seeing:

Barcelona History Museum – Barcelona has one of the best city history museums I’ve ever visited, including 4,000 square meters of Roman ruins beneath the museum that you can walk through. There is a free, detailed audio guide and meticulous explanations of the exhibits. If you do one thing in the city, make it this. I visit every time I’m in Barcelona. The ruins are just stunning. Admission is €7. Address: Plaça del Rei.

The Grand Royal Palace – The Palau Reial Major (near the history museum) was the home of Barcelona’s counts and later the kings of Aragon. It has a very detailed history about the city and region through the centuries. Admission is €7. Free on the first Sunday of the month and every Sunday after 3pm. Address: Plaça del Rei.

Chapel of Santa Àgata – This royal chapel was built in 1302. The most interesting thing inside is the beautiful altarpiece, made by Jaume Huguet, that was added in the 15th century. It contains beautiful paintings of religious symbols in the style of the Middle Ages. Don’t miss it! Admission is €7. Address: Plaça del Rei.

Barcelona Cathedral – Built in the late 13th to early 15th centuries, this is a classic Gothic cathedral with huge spires, colorful stained glass, and incredible wood carvings. If you go inside, pay the extra €3 to visit the terraces, where you’ll get an incredible view of Barcelona. Admission is €7, though you can sometimes get in for free (there’s no apparent schedule to this). Address: Placita de la Seu, 3.

Explore Gaudí’s architecture

Gaudí is Barcelona’s most famous and creative architect. His unique style, use of nature motifs, and catalog of work is legendary – and part of the reason so many people visit the city. No visit to the city is complete without a tour of Gaudí’s works. You can find them everywhere — in addition to the buildings listed below, he even designed lampposts, monuments, and sculptures. Here are the best sights to see:

Park Güell – Park Güell is a 45-acre garden complex designed and built between 1900 to 1914. It’s since been converted into a municipal garden and is now a World Heritage Site. The focal point of the park is the main terrace, which is surrounded by a long bench in the form of a sea serpent. Known for incorporating various themes into his work, Gaudí incorporated artistic elements of Catalan nationalism as well as ancient poetry and mysticism into this work. The park is right near La Sagrada Familia so it’s easy to visit both. I like how colorful everything in the park is! Tickets are €8.50, at the ticket office, or €7.50 when you order in advance online. Children six years old and younger are free. Address: Carrer d’Olot.

La Sagrada Família – The most famous of Gaudí’s work….and one that seems to never be finished. The church has been under construction for over than 100 years (the groundbreaking was in 1882 and is supposed to be done in 2030!). Gaudí was a devout Catholic and spent the last 10 years of his life working on this project. The church blends influences of man, nature, and religion in its detailed architecture. The audio guide is worth purchasing as it covers the history of the church in great detail. Try to visit mid-morning to late afternoon so you can witness the sunlight cascade throughout all the stained glass. Admission is €15 online/€18 at the door. Address: Plaça de la Sagrada Familia.

Casa Batlló – Casa Batllo is a building restored by Antoni Gaudí in the early 1900s. He spent 2 years on the project completely revamping the exterior, main floor, patio, and roof. With its undulating shape, it’s definitely one of the more eye-catching of his creations. Located in the Eixample district of Barcelona, it (like everything Gaudí designed) was heavy influenced by the Art Nouveau style. The facade was decorated with a mosaic made of broken ceramic tiles that he collected from the trash of a nearby glass shop. The roof is arched and has been likened to the back of a dragon. It’s one of my favorite Gaudí buildings. Admission is €24.50 online/€28.50 at door. Address: Passeig de Gràcia, 43.

Casa Milà (also called La Pedrera) – From 1906 to 1910, Gaudi work on Casa Mila, also known as “La Pedrera” (the stone quarry) as the building has a facade of limestone. The goal was to evoke the sense of a snowy mountain. Gaudí, himself a Catholic and a devotee of the Virgin Mary, also planned for the Casa Milà to be a spiritual symbol and included many religious elements like an excerpt from the rosary prayer on the cornice and statues of Mary, St. Michael, and St. Gabriel. Casa Milà became run down and partially abandoned until it was restored in the late 1980s to its original form. Admission is €22 online/€25 at door. Address: Passeig de Gràcia, 92.

Palau Güell – Located off La Rambla, Palau Guell (Guell Palace) building doesn’t jump out at you like other Gaudí structures. Built from 1886-88, it was designed for one of Gaudi’s patrons, Eusebi Güell. The home is centered around the main room used to entertain high-society guests. The main party room has a high ceiling with small holes near the top where lanterns were hung at night from the outside to give the appearance of a starlit sky. There are colorful tree-like chimneys on top. It’s a bit creepy and gothic to me. One of my favorites too! Admission is €12 (free on the first Sunday of every month). Address: Carrer Nou de la Rambla, 3-5.

Note: Advanced reservations are recommended for Park Guell, Sagrada Familia, Casa Mila, and Casa Batllo so you can skip the lines!

Barcelona Itinerary: Day 2

Visit the Picasso Museum

While I’m not a huge fan of most of Picasso’s later work, it’s still interesting to learn about the life and work of one of the most influential artists of the twentieth century. With more than 4,000 pieces of art, there certainly is a lot to see here. Admission is €11, with discounts available for students and seniors. Free Thursday evenings, 6-9pm and on the first Sunday of each month. Address: Carrer Montcada, 15-23.

Barcelona Museum of Contemporary Art (MACBA)

This museum has over 5,000 works, including an extensive collection of pieces by Spanish artists such as Joan Miró and Pablo Picasso. There are also works by Americans Andy Warhol and Alexander Calder (who is known for his innovative mobiles). If you love modern art, be sure to add this to your itinerary. Admission is €10, with discounts available. Free Saturdays, 4-8pm. It’s always free for anyone under 14. Address: Plaça dels Àngels, 1.

La Boquería

This public market has an amazing array of food stalls and restaurants. It’s been at this location for hundreds of years, in a building with a beautiful iron entrance. It’s right off La Rambla (a long, popular central thoroughfare, see below), so the market is typically very busy. But grab a snack or an inexpensive lunch of ham, bread, cheese, and fruit and enjoy the scene. There’s a wide variety of seafood, including fish, shrimp, octopus, and oysters, as well as nuts, candy, wine, and tapas.

NOTE: Due to overcrowding, tourist groups are now restricted to 15 people or less. You’ll have no problem moving about on your own, but if you’re in a large group….well, be prepared to get kicked out! The city is (appropriately) trying to take back the markets for locals. Watch for changes to how they allow tourists into the market.

Take a stroll on La Rambla

The popular 1.2km long boulevard with a broad but crowded walkway in the center has many beautiful buildings along it including the Gran Teatre del Liceu, the city’s opera house. Near the theater, you can also see a mosaic by Joan Miró. And there are street performers galore here (they even have their own union). While this street is ground zero for tourists in the city (don’t eat at the restaurants here, they suck), it’s worth a stroll down at least once.

Hit the beach

You’ve done a ton of walking so far, so take the afternoon to relax! Barcelona has a wide and long beach, Barceloneta, that is incredibly popular year-round. The water is good to swim in, the sand is golden colored, and there are a lot of good restaurants on the boardwalk. It’s always busy with tourists and locals, however, so walk further from the center to reach some quieter and cleaner beaches, such as Sant Sebastià in the south and Somorrostro in the north.

Watch some flamenco

Spend your evening watching flamenco at one of these places:

Los Tarantos – This is Barcelona’s oldest flamenco venue. It’s a short show (just 30 minutes) so it’s a good place for an introduction to the art and won’t take up your entire night. Admission from €15. Address: Plaça Reial, 17.

Palau Dalmases – One of the best things about the flamenco shows here is the venue. This palace has amazing décor and incredible architecture. Admission is €25, with one drink included. Address: Carrer de Montcada, 20.

Tablao Flamenco Cordobes – This show is in a convenient location on Barcelona’s main walkway, but it’s pricey. Admission is €45 (drink and show) or €79.50 (dinner and show). Address: La Rambla, 35.

Tablao de Carmen – This show typically features excellent performers, and it’s in an interesting venue that’s a replica of a Spanish village. Admission is €43 (drink and show) or €61 (dinner and show). Address: Av. de Francesc Ferrer i Guàrdia, 13.

Barcelona Itinerary: Day 3

Ride the harbor cable car

The 1,450-meter-long harbor aerial tramway with red cars connects Barceloneta and Montjuïc (a prominent hill). The 10-minute trip gives you incredible views of Barcelona. You’ll see the port and sea on one side and the city on the other. Also, at the top of the 78-meter Sant Sebastià (San Sebastián) tower in Barceloneta, there’s a restaurant accessible by an elevator. A round-trip ticket is €16.50; a one-way ticket is €11.

Explore Montjuïc Hill

When you arrive on the hill from the cable car (or bus #150 if the cable car isn’t in your budget), you’ll find there’s a lot to do here. You can explore the Castell de Montjuïc (a large 18th-century fortress), as well as gardens, a Spanish village, and the Olympic Stadium. Be sure to also visit the Magic Fountain for the colorful water show. You’ll be able to enjoy a sweeping view of the city; watching the sunset from here is amazing too. Some highlights of Montjuïc:

Castell de Montjuïc – This is an old fortress that’s now a museum featuring military displays and information on the history of the castle. The surrounding garden is a beautiful collage of color. Admission is €5. Free Sundays after 3pm and on the first Sunday of each month. Address: Carretera de Montjuïc, 66.

Joan Miró Foundation – Joan Miró was one of Catalonia’s most famous artists. Many of the surrealist’s works are on display in this museum. Admission is €12. Address: Parc de Montjuïc.

Museu Nacional d’Art de Catalunya – This art museum houses Catalonian art, particularly Gothic, Renaissance, and Baroque works. The fountain out front has a spectacular free show that takes place on Fridays and Saturdays from 7pm-9pm (from October-December and February-April), and Thursdays-Sundays from 9pm-11:30pm (from May-September). Admission is €12. Free Saturdays after 3pm, the first Sunday of each month, and for visitors under 16 or over 65. Address: Palau Nacional, Parc de Montjuïc.

Poble Espanyol (Spanish Village) – The Spanish Village was built in 1929 to resemble an actual traditional village with 117 buildings from different Spanish regions. There’s an Andalusian quarter, a section of the Camino, a monastery, and more. There are also various exhibits here devoted to crafts and contemporary art. It’s a good family activity. Admission is €12.60, with discounted rates for children, students, and seniors. The village is open daily, year-round starting at 9am and closing no earlier than 8pm. Address: Av. Francesc Ferrer i Guàrdia, 13.

The Olympic Ring – When Barcelona hosted the 1992 Olympic Games, all of the excitement centered around the Olympic Ring: the Olympic Stadium, Palau Sant Jordi, and the Olympic Esplanade. You can roam the entire space for free. Address: Parc de Montjuïc.

Take a food tour or cooking class

Barcelona is a very food-centric city, so I highly recommend a cooking class or a food tour! You’ll learn about traditional Catalan cooking, selecting the freshest ingredients, and using new techniques. You’ll prepare your own meal and enjoy the fruits of your labor. Some companies to check out are:

bcnKITCHEN – (bcnkitchen.com, from €50)

Barcelona Cooking – (barcelonacooking.net, from €65)

Just Royal Bcn – (justroyalbcn.com, from €77).

Context Food Tour – (contexttravel.com, from €80).

Walks – (takewalks.com, from €77).

Devour – (devourbarcelonafoodtours.com, from €69).

Barcelona Itinerary: Day 4

Take a day trip to Girona

This medieval city, just 100km from Barcelona, is one of my favorite destinations in Spain – and far too overlooked by travelers. Here you can climb atop the city walls, wander the narrow lanes of the Jewish Quarter, and soak up the ambiance at one of its many cafés. They filmed Game of Thrones here too! There’s a lot of history and delicious food in the city!

The Renfe train ride is about 80 minutes on the normal train (return tickets from €20); the high-speed train gets there in 38 minutes (return tickets from €30).

Other Things to See and Do in Barcelona

If you have more than four days in Barcelona, you’re in luck. There are plenty of other activities to fill your time:

Head to Montserrat – The Montserrat mountain range is just outside of the city and makes for a great getaway from Barcelona’s urban atmosphere. You can reach the area by taking a one-hour train ride. Once there, pay a visit to the famous shrine of the Black Madonna at the monastery and walk around the park. The Benedictine monastery and the valley of unique, rocky pillars make for some really awesome photography. Return train tickets are around €20, and you’ll also need to decide whether to take the cable car (my preference) or funicular up the mountain.

Visit an old-school amusement park – Tibidabo Barcelona, built in 1899, is one of the oldest amusement parks in the world. On a tall mountain in the Serra de Collserola, it also offers an incredible view of Barcelona and the coastline. It’s open on the weekends, except in the winter. Admission is €28.50 for adults, €10.30 for children under 1.2m tall, and free for children under 0.90m tall. Address: Plaça del Tibidabo, 3.

Catch an outdoor film – If you’re in Barcelona in July or August, consider going up to Montjuïc Castle to catch an outdoor film on the lawn of the castle’s moat. Screenings take place on Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays and are preceded by some cool live music.

Watch a soccer match – The first “football” game I ever saw was in Barcelona. It was Espaynol versus Valencia. I still have the shirt I bought that day. Barcelona’s two teams are Espanyol and FC Barcelona and, if a match is going on, try to take in one. Locals are obsessed with the sport and you’ll make a lot of good friends at the game! If you can’t make a game, you can tour the stadium and the FCB (or Barça) Museum. Tour admission is €26 online/€29.50 at the door. Match tickets are from €29, depending on the opponent. Address: C. d’Aristides Maillol, 12.

Visit the aquarium – Perfect for a rainy day, the Barcelona Aquarium has more than 11,000 animals, showcasing species from a variety of underwater ecosystems. The walk-through tunnel is the best part. Admission: €20. Address: Moll d’Espanya, del Port Vell.

Gaze at Barcelona’s free public art – Gaudí outdid himself with the huge fountain located in the Parc de la Ciutadella, a tribute to the god Neptune. I absolutely love the art and fountain here. Gaudi designed the famous Cascada Fountain when he was an architecture student. On a warm day, I just like to sit and stare at the fountain. There’s also a zoo in the park and some short walking paths. Take a bottle of wine, grab some ham, and have a picnic.

Other offbeat Gaudí works include the lampposts in Plaça Reial and Pla de Palau, and the Miralles gate and wall on Passeig de Manuel Girona. Barcelona native Joan Miró’s work is found throughout town, and you can see his famous “Woman and Bird” sculpture at Parc de Joan Miró. There are also Miró mosaics on La Rambla and at the airport.

Take a free bike tour – Free Bike Tour Barcelona offers jaunts around the city every day. The tours are typically at 10am and 2pm, but check the website (freebiketourbarcelona.com) to be sure, as there may be just one tour a day in the off-season. They last about three hours and cover all the major sights. Just be sure to tip your guides!

Where to Eat in Barcelona

For some excellent food, be sure to check out some of my favorite places:

Les Quinze Nits – Delicious food at a great price in the famous Plaça Reial. It’s a bit touristy, but even the locals come here for the value. It has a typical Spanish menu. Avoid the long lines at dinner by going for lunch instead. Address: Plaça Reial, 6.

La Fonda – Good food with large portions, near Plaça Reial. Its set menu will give you more than you can eat, and it features beautiful décor and a robust wine selection. Address: Escudellers, 10.

Allium Restaurant – This is a natural food restaurant that prepares its meals with delicious, local ingredients. It has a nice rustic décor and a friendly staff. It is well priced and my favorite restaurant in Barcelona. Address: Carrer del Call, 17.

Pinotxo Bar – Just inside the Boquería food market, this little stall is always packed and serves some of the most famous tapas in the area. I stopped there while on a food tour, and it was delicious. Try the chickpea salad! Address: La Boquería, La Rambla, 91.

The Four Cats – This was one of Picasso’s favorite haunts and a popular hangout for artists in the early 1900s. Grab a drink and maybe some tapas (the patatas bravas are delicious!) and soak up the place’s history. Address: Carrer de Montsió, 3.

Where to Stay in Barcelona

Here’s a list of my favorite places to stay in the city:

Kabul – This is one of my favorite hostels in Europe. It attracts travelers who are looking for a good time. This isn’t a quiet hostel, so be prepared to party. The dorms are very clean, the beds are comfy, and the showers have high pressure. But what makes Kabul so wonderful is the downstairs common area. It takes up a whole floor of the building and comprises a café, bar, tables, internet kiosks, and a pool table. The hostel is booked out weeks in advance, especially during summer, so don’t book at the last minute! Beds from €10.71. Address: Plaça Reial, 17.

Hello BCN – This location is clean, and the beds are comfortable. There’s a super breakfast, and the staff is friendly and helpful. Make sure to ask them for tips about hidden places in town. This is not a party hostel, and you should be able to get some good shut-eye. Beds from €11. Address: Carrer de Lafont, 8-10.

St. Christopher’s Inn – This hostel near La Rambla is all about location: it’s perfect. I really love the curtains on the dorm beds and the gigantic bar/outdoor area next to the hostel. The bar/restaurant has good food and cheap drinks, so you should definitely check it out (even if you don’t stay here). In general, I really like the St. Christopher’s brand; it offers fun, clean, sociable, and modern hostels all over Europe. Beds from €9.90. Address: Carrer de Bergara, 3.

Sant Jordi-Sagrada Família – This is an interesting hostel with a skateboarder vibe. The common area décor is all about urban arts, and the rooms are clean and spacious. The kitchen is big, and you can often find yoga lessons, cheap dinners, and free pub crawls. There’s also a half-pipe, which I’ve never seen at a hostel before. Just watch out for the spotty Wi-Fi. Beds from €14.31. Address: Carrer del Freser, 5.

***

Barcelona has something for everyone. You could squeeze in the real highlights of Barcelona in two or three days, but taking four, five, or even six days for the above itinerary will give you enough time to gorge on Iberian ham, tapas, and sangria while not rushing around.

The city moves slowly. And so should you.

Sleep late, take breaks, eat lots, and just enjoy Barcelona at a Spaniard’s pace!

Book Your Trip to Barcelona: Logistical Tips and Tricks

Book Your Flight Find a cheap flight by using Skyscanner or Momondo. They are my two favorite search engines because they search websites and airlines around the globe so you always know no stone is left unturned.

Book Your Accommodation You can book your hostel with Hostelworld. If you want to stay somewhere other than a hostel, use Booking.com as they consistently return the cheapest rates for guesthouses and cheap hotels. I use them all the time.

Don’t Forget Travel Insurance Travel insurance will protect you against illness, injury, theft, and cancellations. It’s comprehensive protection in case anything goes wrong. I never go on a trip without it as I’ve had to use it many times in the past. I’ve been using World Nomads for ten years. My favorite companies that offer the best service and value are:

World Nomads (for everyone below 70)

Insure My Trip (for those over 70)

Looking for the best companies to save money with? Check out my resource page for the best companies to use when you travel! I list all the ones I use to save money when I travel – and I think will help you too!

Looking for more information on visiting Barcelona? Check out my in-depth destination guide to Barcelona with more tips on what to see, do, costs, ways to save, and much, much more!

Photo credits: 5, 6, 8, 11,

The post Barcelona Itinerary: How to Spend Your Time in This Incredible City in 2019 appeared first on Nomadic Matt's Travel Site.

source https://www.nomadicmatt.com/travel-blogs/barcelona-itinerary/

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Barcelona Itinerary: How to Spend Your Time in This Incredible City in 2019

Posted: 1/7/19 | January 7th, 2019

Barcelona is one of the most popular destinations in Europe. It’s a city that I’ve been to many times.

Once a major city in the Roman Empire, the city still places an important role in the region and is home to millions of residents and visitors enjoying all the delicious sangria and gin, mouthwatering food, stunning beaches, warm weather, the rich history and culture, and unique architecture that Barcelona is famous for.

Barcelona is one of the most vibrant, fun, energetic cities in the world.

Barcelona is such a popular place that in recent years it’s even had to clamp down on “overtourism” to help reduce the number of visitors. (This is something I fully agree with since cities must learn to balance tourism with local life.)

With so much to see and do in and around Barcelona, where do you begin? How many days do you need to visit?

I think to really get a feel for Barcelona you should plan for four or five days. While you could see it in less, you’ll do yourself a disservice if you rush your visit. This is a city of late night dinners, late morning, and afternoon siestas.

Life isn’t rushed here and neither should your visit.

This 2-5 day itinerary highlights all the best things to see and do and help you organize your visit so you can see it all!

Barcelona Itinerary: Day 1

Take a free walking tour

I love free walking tours. I think they are a wonderful way to get to know a new city, find your way around, and learn some history in the process. (And, since they are filled with traveler too, they can also be a good way to meet other people.) My recommended walking tour companies in Barcelona are:

Sandeman’s

Free Walking Tours Barcelona

Free Tours By Foot

Get lost in the Barri Gotic

Barcelona’s old Gothic Quarter is my favorite part of town, filled with narrow, winding streets and historic buildings. Spend a few hours getting lost in this district. To me, it’s the most beautiful area in the city. The area also has numerous attractions worth seeing:

Barcelona History Museum – Barcelona has one of the best city history museums I’ve ever visited, including 4,000 square meters of Roman ruins beneath the museum that you can walk through. There is a free, detailed audio guide and meticulous explanations of the exhibits. If you do one thing in the city, make it this. I visit every time I’m in Barcelona. The ruins are just stunning. Admission is €7. Address: Plaça del Rei.

The Grand Royal Palace – The Palau Reial Major (near the history museum) was the home of Barcelona’s counts and later the kings of Aragon. It has a very detailed history about the city and region through the centuries. Admission is €7. Free on the first Sunday of the month and every Sunday after 3pm. Address: Plaça del Rei.

Chapel of Santa Àgata – This royal chapel was built in 1302. The most interesting thing inside is the beautiful altarpiece, made by Jaume Huguet, that was added in the 15th century. It contains beautiful paintings of religious symbols in the style of the Middle Ages. Don’t miss it! Admission is €7. Address: Plaça del Rei.

Barcelona Cathedral – Built in the late 13th to early 15th centuries, this is a classic Gothic cathedral with huge spires, colorful stained glass, and incredible wood carvings. If you go inside, pay the extra €3 to visit the terraces, where you’ll get an incredible view of Barcelona. Admission is €7, though you can sometimes get in for free (there’s no apparent schedule to this). Address: Placita de la Seu, 3.

Explore Gaudí’s architecture

Gaudí is Barcelona’s most famous and creative architect. His unique style, use of nature motifs, and catalog of work is legendary – and part of the reason so many people visit the city. No visit to the city is complete without a tour of Gaudí’s works. You can find them everywhere — in addition to the buildings listed below, he even designed lampposts, monuments, and sculptures. Here are the best sights to see:

Park Güell – Park Güell is a 45-acre garden complex designed and built between 1900 to 1914. It’s since been converted into a municipal garden and is now a World Heritage Site. The focal point of the park is the main terrace, which is surrounded by a long bench in the form of a sea serpent. Known for incorporating various themes into his work, Gaudí incorporated artistic elements of Catalan nationalism as well as ancient poetry and mysticism into this work. The park is right near La Sagrada Familia so it’s easy to visit both. I like how colorful everything in the park is! Tickets are €8.50, at the ticket office, or €7.50 when you order in advance online. Children six years old and younger are free. Address: Carrer d’Olot.

La Sagrada Família – The most famous of Gaudí’s work….and one that seems to never be finished. The church has been under construction for over than 100 years (the groundbreaking was in 1882 and is supposed to be done in 2030!). Gaudí was a devout Catholic and spent the last 10 years of his life working on this project. The church blends influences of man, nature, and religion in its detailed architecture. The audio guide is worth purchasing as it covers the history of the church in great detail. Try to visit mid-morning to late afternoon so you can witness the sunlight cascade throughout all the stained glass. Admission is €15 online/€18 at the door. Address: Plaça de la Sagrada Familia.

Casa Batlló – Casa Batllo is a building restored by Antoni Gaudí in the early 1900s. He spent 2 years on the project completely revamping the exterior, main floor, patio, and roof. With its undulating shape, it’s definitely one of the more eye-catching of his creations. Located in the Eixample district of Barcelona, it (like everything Gaudí designed) was heavy influenced by the Art Nouveau style. The facade was decorated with a mosaic made of broken ceramic tiles that he collected from the trash of a nearby glass shop. The roof is arched and has been likened to the back of a dragon. It’s one of my favorite Gaudí buildings. Admission is €24.50 online/€28.50 at door. Address: Passeig de Gràcia, 43.

Casa Milà (also called La Pedrera) – From 1906 to 1910, Gaudi work on Casa Mila, also known as “La Pedrera” (the stone quarry) as the building has a facade of limestone. The goal was to evoke the sense of a snowy mountain. Gaudí, himself a Catholic and a devotee of the Virgin Mary, also planned for the Casa Milà to be a spiritual symbol and included many religious elements like an excerpt from the rosary prayer on the cornice and statues of Mary, St. Michael, and St. Gabriel. Casa Milà became run down and partially abandoned until it was restored in the late 1980s to its original form. Admission is €22 online/€25 at door. Address: Passeig de Gràcia, 92.

Palau Güell – Located off La Rambla, Palau Guell (Guell Palace) building doesn’t jump out at you like other Gaudí structures. Built from 1886-88, it was designed for one of Gaudi’s patrons, Eusebi Güell. The home is centered around the main room used to entertain high-society guests. The main party room has a high ceiling with small holes near the top where lanterns were hung at night from the outside to give the appearance of a starlit sky. There are colorful tree-like chimneys on top. It’s a bit creepy and gothic to me. One of my favorites too! Admission is €12 (free on the first Sunday of every month). Address: Carrer Nou de la Rambla, 3-5.

Note: Advanced reservations are recommended for Park Guell, Sagrada Familia, Casa Mila, and Casa Batllo so you can skip the lines!

Barcelona Itinerary: Day 2

Visit the Picasso Museum

While I’m not a huge fan of most of Picasso’s later work, it’s still interesting to learn about the life and work of one of the most influential artists of the twentieth century. With more than 4,000 pieces of art, there certainly is a lot to see here. Admission is €11, with discounts available for students and seniors. Free Thursday evenings, 6-9pm and on the first Sunday of each month. Address: Carrer Montcada, 15-23.

Barcelona Museum of Contemporary Art (MACBA)

This museum has over 5,000 works, including an extensive collection of pieces by Spanish artists such as Joan Miró and Pablo Picasso. There are also works by Americans Andy Warhol and Alexander Calder (who is known for his innovative mobiles). If you love modern art, be sure to add this to your itinerary. Admission is €10, with discounts available. Free Saturdays, 4-8pm. It’s always free for anyone under 14. Address: Plaça dels Àngels, 1.

La Boquería

This public market has an amazing array of food stalls and restaurants. It’s been at this location for hundreds of years, in a building with a beautiful iron entrance. It’s right off La Rambla (a long, popular central thoroughfare, see below), so the market is typically very busy. But grab a snack or an inexpensive lunch of ham, bread, cheese, and fruit and enjoy the scene. There’s a wide variety of seafood, including fish, shrimp, octopus, and oysters, as well as nuts, candy, wine, and tapas.

NOTE: Due to overcrowding, tourist groups are now restricted to 15 people or less. You’ll have no problem moving about on your own, but if you’re in a large group….well, be prepared to get kicked out! The city is (appropriately) trying to take back the markets for locals. Watch for changes to

Take a stroll on La Rambla

The popular 1.2km long boulevard with a broad but crowded walkway in the center has many beautiful buildings along it including the Gran Teatre del Liceu, the city’s opera house. Near the theater, you can also see a mosaic by Joan Miró. And there are street performers galore here (they even have their own union). While this street is ground zero for tourists in the city (don’t eat at the restaurants here, they suck), it’s worth a stroll down at least once.

Hit the beach

You’ve done a ton of walking so far, so take the afternoon to relax! Barcelona has a wide and long beach, Barceloneta, that is incredibly popular year-round. The water is good to swim in, the sand is golden colored, and there are a lot of good restaurants on the boardwalk. It’s always busy with tourists and locals, however, so walk further from the center to reach some quieter and cleaner beaches, such as Sant Sebastià in the south and Somorrostro in the north.

Watch some flamenco

Spend your evening watching flamenco at one of these places:

Los Tarantos – This is Barcelona’s oldest flamenco venue. It’s a short show (just 30 minutes) so it’s a good place for an introduction to the art and won’t take up your entire night. Admission from €15. Address: Plaça Reial, 17.

Palau Dalmases – One of the best things about the flamenco shows here is the venue. This palace has amazing décor and incredible architecture. Admission is €25, with one drink included. Address: Carrer de Montcada, 20.

Tablao Flamenco Cordobes – This show is in a convenient location on Barcelona’s main walkway, but it’s pricey. Admission is €45 (drink and show) or €79.50 (dinner and show). Address: La Rambla, 35.

Tablao de Carmen – This show typically features excellent performers, and it’s in an interesting venue that’s a replica of a Spanish village. Admission is €43 (drink and show) or €61 (dinner and show). Address: Av. de Francesc Ferrer i Guàrdia, 13.

Barcelona Itinerary: Day 3

Ride the harbor cable car

The 1,450-meter-long harbor aerial tramway with red cars connects Barceloneta and Montjuïc (a prominent hill). The 10-minute trip gives you incredible views of Barcelona. You’ll see the port and sea on one side and the city on the other. Also, at the top of the 78-meter Sant Sebastià (San Sebastián) tower in Barceloneta, there’s a restaurant accessible by an elevator. A round-trip ticket is €16.50; a one-way ticket is €11.

Explore Montjuïc Hill

When you arrive on the hill from the cable car (or bus #150 if the cable car isn’t in your budget), you’ll find there’s a lot to do here. You can explore the Castell de Montjuïc (a large 18th-century fortress), as well as gardens, a Spanish village, and the Olympic Stadium. Be sure to also visit the Magic Fountain for the colorful water show. You’ll be able to enjoy a sweeping view of the city; watching the sunset from here is amazing too. Some highlights of Montjuïc:

Castell de Montjuïc – This is an old fortress that’s now a museum featuring military displays and information on the history of the castle. The surrounding garden is a beautiful collage of color. Admission is €5. Free Sundays after 3pm and on the first Sunday of each month. Address: Carretera de Montjuïc, 66.

Joan Miró Foundation – Joan Miró was one of Catalonia’s most famous artists. Many of the surrealist’s works are on display in this museum. Admission is €12. Address: Parc de Montjuïc.

Museu Nacional d’Art de Catalunya – This art museum houses Catalonian art, particularly Gothic, Renaissance, and Baroque works. The fountain out front has a spectacular free show that takes place on Fridays and Saturdays from 7pm-9pm (from October-December and February-April), and Thursdays-Sundays from 9pm-11:30pm (from May-September). Admission is €12. Free Saturdays after 3pm, the first Sunday of each month, and for visitors under 16 or over 65. Address: Palau Nacional, Parc de Montjuïc.

Poble Espanyol (Spanish Village) – The Spanish Village was built in 1929 to resemble an actual traditional village with 117 buildings from different Spanish regions. There’s an Andalusian quarter, a section of the Camino, a monastery, and more. There are also various exhibits here devoted to crafts and contemporary art. It’s a good family activity. Admission is €12.60, with discounted rates for children, students, and seniors. The village is open daily, year-round starting at 9am and closing no earlier than 8pm. Address: Av. Francesc Ferrer i Guàrdia, 13.

The Olympic Ring – When Barcelona hosted the 1992 Olympic Games, all of the excitement centered around the Olympic Ring: the Olympic Stadium, Palau Sant Jordi, and the Olympic Esplanade. You can roam the entire space for free. Address: Parc de Montjuïc.

Take a food tour or cooking class

Barcelona is a very food-centric city, so I highly recommend a cooking class or a food tour! You’ll learn about traditional Catalan cooking, selecting the freshest ingredients, and using new techniques. You’ll prepare your own meal and enjoy the fruits of your labor. Some companies to check out are:

bcnKITCHEN – (bcnkitchen.com, from €50)

Barcelona Cooking – (barcelonacooking.net, from €65)

Just Royal Bcn – (justroyalbcn.com, from €77).

Barcelona Itinerary: Day 4

Take a day trip to Girona

This medieval city, just 100km from Barcelona, is one of my favorite destinations in Spain – and far too overlooked by travelers. Here you can climb atop the city walls, wander the narrow lanes of the Jewish Quarter, and soak up the ambiance at one of its many cafés. They filmed Game of Thrones here too! There’s a lot of history and delicious food in the city!

The Renfe train ride is about 80 minutes on the normal train (return tickets from €20); the high-speed train gets there in 38 minutes (return tickets from €30).

Other things to see and do in Barcelona

If you have more than four days in Barcelona, you’re in luck. There are plenty of other activities to fill your time:

Head to Montserrat – The Montserrat mountain range is just outside of the city and makes for a great getaway from Barcelona’s urban atmosphere. You can reach the area by taking a one-hour train ride. Once there, pay a visit to the famous shrine of the Black Madonna at the monastery and walk around the park. The Benedictine monastery and the valley of unique, rocky pillars make for some really awesome photography. Return train tickets are around €20, and you’ll also need to decide whether to take the cable car (my preference) or funicular up the mountain.

Take a food tour – Barcelona has some of the best food in Spain, and there’s no better way to spend your morning than learning about the food culture of the city. I strongly recommend Context Travel’s food tour, which takes you around the Barri Gothic and the food markets there to highlight the food history and delicacies of the region. One of the most informative and delicious tours I’ve been on in a while; it’s not the cheapest food tour in the city, but I got everything I paid for.

Visit an old-school amusement park – Tibidabo Barcelona, built in 1899, is one of the oldest amusement parks in the world. On a tall mountain in the Serra de Collserola, it also offers an incredible view of Barcelona and the coastline. It’s open on the weekends, except in the winter. Admission is €28.50 for adults, €10.30 for children under 1.2m tall, and free for children under 0.90m tall. Address: Plaça del Tibidabo, 3.

Catch an outdoor film – If you’re in Barcelona in July or August, consider going up to Montjuïc Castle to catch an outdoor film on the lawn of the castle’s moat. Screenings take place on Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays and are preceded by some cool live music.

Watch a soccer match – The first “football” game I ever saw was in Barcelona. It was Espaynol versus Valencia. I still have the shirt I bought that day. Barcelona’s two teams are Espanyol and FC Barcelona and, if a match is going on, try to take in one. Locals are obsessed with the sport and you’ll make a lot of good friends at the game! If you can’t make a game, you can tour the stadium and the FCB (or Barça) Museum. Tour admission is €26 online/€29.50 at the door. Match tickets are from €29, depending on the opponent. Address: C. d’Aristides Maillol, 12.

Visit the aquarium – Perfect for a rainy day, the Barcelona Aquarium has more than 11,000 animals, showcasing species from a variety of underwater ecosystems. The walk-through tunnel is the best part. Admission: €20. Address: Moll d’Espanya, del Port Vell.

Gaze at Barcelona’s free public art – Gaudí outdid himself with the huge fountain located in the Parc de la Ciutadella, a tribute to the god Neptune. I absolutely love the art and fountain here. Gaudi designed the famous Cascada Fountain when he was an architecture student. On a warm day, I just like to sit and stare at the fountain. There’s also a zoo in the park and some short walking paths. Take a bottle of wine, grab some ham, and have a picnic.

Other offbeat Gaudí works include the lampposts in Plaça Reial and Pla de Palau, and the Miralles gate and wall on Passeig de Manuel Girona. Barcelona native Joan Miró’s work is found throughout town, and you can see his famous “Woman and Bird” sculpture at Parc de Joan Miró. There are also Miró mosaics on La Rambla and at the airport.

Take a free bike tour – Free Bike Tour Barcelona offers jaunts around the city every day. The tours are typically at 10am and 2pm, but check the website (freebiketourbarcelona.com) to be sure, as there may be just one tour a day in the off-season. They last about three hours and cover all the major sights. Just be sure to tip your guides!

Where to Eat in Barcelona

For some excellent food, be sure to check out some of my favorite places:

Les Quinze Nits – Delicious food at a great price in the famous Plaça Reial. It’s a bit touristy, but even the locals come here for the value. It has a typical Spanish menu. Avoid the long lines at dinner by going for lunch instead. Address: Plaça Reial, 6.

La Fonda – Good food with large portions, near Plaça Reial. Its set menu will give you more than you can eat, and it features beautiful décor and a robust wine selection. Address: Escudellers, 10.

Allium Restaurant – This is a natural food restaurant that prepares its meals with delicious, local ingredients. It has a nice rustic décor and a friendly staff. It is well priced and my favorite restaurant in Barcelona. Address: Carrer del Call, 17.

Pinotxo Bar – Just inside the Boquería food market, this little stall is always packed and serves some of the most famous tapas in the area. I stopped there while on a food tour, and it was delicious. Try the chickpea salad! Address: La Boquería, La Rambla, 91.

The Four Cats – This was one of Picasso’s favorite haunts and a popular hangout for artists in the early 1900s. Grab a drink and maybe some tapas (the patatas bravas are delicious!) and soak up the place’s history. Address: Carrer de Montsió, 3.

Where to Stay in Barcelona

Here’s a list of my favorite places to stay in the city:

Kabul – This is one of my favorite hostels in Europe. It attracts travelers who are looking for a good time. This isn’t a quiet hostel, so be prepared to party. The dorms are very clean, the beds are comfy, and the showers have high pressure. But what makes Kabul so wonderful is the downstairs common area. It takes up a whole floor of the building and comprises a café, bar, tables, internet kiosks, and a pool table. The hostel is booked out weeks in advance, especially during summer, so don’t book at the last minute! Beds from €10.71. Address: Plaça Reial, 17.

Hello BCN – This location is clean, and the beds are comfortable. There’s a super breakfast, and the staff is friendly and helpful. Make sure to ask them for tips about hidden places in town. This is not a party hostel, and you should be able to get some good shut-eye. Beds from €11. Address: Carrer de Lafont, 8-10.

St. Christopher’s Inn – This hostel near La Rambla is all about location: it’s perfect. I really love the curtains on the dorm beds and the gigantic bar/outdoor area next to the hostel. The bar/restaurant has good food and cheap drinks, so you should definitely check it out (even if you don’t stay here). In general, I really like the St. Christopher’s brand; it offers fun, clean, sociable, and modern hostels all over Europe. Beds from €9.90. Address: Carrer de Bergara, 3.

Sant Jordi-Sagrada Família – This is an interesting hostel with a skateboarder vibe. The common area décor is all about urban arts, and the rooms are clean and spacious. The kitchen is big, and you can often find yoga lessons, cheap dinners, and free pub crawls. There’s also a half-pipe, which I’ve never seen at a hostel before. Just watch out for the spotty Wi-Fi. Beds from €14.31. Address: Carrer del Freser, 5.

***

Barcelona has something for everyone. You could squeeze in the real highlights of Barcelona in two or three days, but taking four, five, or even six days for the above itinerary will give you enough time to gorge on Iberian ham, tapas, and sangria while not rushing around.

The city moves slowly. And so should you.

Sleep late, take breaks, eat lots, and just enjoy Barcelona at a Spaniard’s pace!

Book Your Trip to Barcelona: Logistical Tips and Tricks

Book Your Flight Find a cheap flight by using Skyscanner or Momondo. They are my two favorite search engines because they search websites and airlines around the globe so you always know no stone is left unturned.

Book Your Accommodation You can book your hostel with Hostelworld. If you want to stay somewhere other than a hostel, use Booking.com as they consistently return the cheapest rates for guesthouses and cheap hotels. I use them all the time.

Don’t Forget Travel Insurance Travel insurance will protect you against illness, injury, theft, and cancellations. It’s comprehensive protection in case anything goes wrong. I never go on a trip without it as I’ve had to use it many times in the past. I’ve been using World Nomads for ten years. My favorite companies that offer the best service and value are:

World Nomads (for everyone below 70)

Insure My Trip (for those over 70)

Looking for the best companies to save money with? Check out my resource page for the best companies to use when you travel! I list all the ones I use to save money when I travel – and I think will help you too!

Looking for more information on visiting Barcelona? Check out my in-depth destination guide to Barcelona with more tips on what to see, do, costs, ways to save, and much, much more!

Photo credits: 5, 6, 8, 11,

The post Barcelona Itinerary: How to Spend Your Time in This Incredible City in 2019 appeared first on Nomadic Matt's Travel Site.

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Barcelona Itinerary: How to Spend Your Time in This Incredible City in 2019

Posted: 1/7/19 | January 7th, 2019

Barcelona is one of the most popular destinations in Europe. It’s a city that I’ve been to many times.

Once a major city in the Roman Empire, the city still places an important role in the region and is home to millions of residents and visitors enjoying all the delicious sangria and gin, mouthwatering food, stunning beaches, warm weather, the rich history and culture, and unique architecture that Barcelona is famous for.

Barcelona is one of the most vibrant, fun, energetic cities in the world.

Barcelona is such a popular place that in recent years it’s even had to clamp down on “overtourism” to help reduce the number of visitors. (This is something I fully agree with since cities must learn to balance tourism with local life.)

With so much to see and do in and around Barcelona, where do you begin? How many days do you need to visit?

I think to really get a feel for Barcelona you should plan for four or five days. While you could see it in less, you’ll do yourself a disservice if you rush your visit. This is a city of late night dinners, late morning, and afternoon siestas.

Life isn’t rushed here and neither should your visit.

This 2-5 day itinerary highlights all the best things to see and do and help you organize your visit so you can see it all!

Barcelona Itinerary: Day 1

Take a free walking tour

I love free walking tours. I think they are a wonderful way to get to know a new city, find your way around, and learn some history in the process. (And, since they are filled with traveler too, they can also be a good way to meet other people.) My recommended walking tour companies in Barcelona are:

Sandeman’s

Free Walking Tours Barcelona

Free Tours By Foot

Get lost in the Barri Gotic

Barcelona’s old Gothic Quarter is my favorite part of town, filled with narrow, winding streets and historic buildings. Spend a few hours getting lost in this district. To me, it’s the most beautiful area in the city. The area also has numerous attractions worth seeing:

Barcelona History Museum – Barcelona has one of the best city history museums I’ve ever visited, including 4,000 square meters of Roman ruins beneath the museum that you can walk through. There is a free, detailed audio guide and meticulous explanations of the exhibits. If you do one thing in the city, make it this. I visit every time I’m in Barcelona. The ruins are just stunning. Admission is €7. Address: Plaça del Rei.

The Grand Royal Palace – The Palau Reial Major (near the history museum) was the home of Barcelona’s counts and later the kings of Aragon. It has a very detailed history about the city and region through the centuries. Admission is €7. Free on the first Sunday of the month and every Sunday after 3pm. Address: Plaça del Rei.

Chapel of Santa Àgata – This royal chapel was built in 1302. The most interesting thing inside is the beautiful altarpiece, made by Jaume Huguet, that was added in the 15th century. It contains beautiful paintings of religious symbols in the style of the Middle Ages. Don’t miss it! Admission is €7. Address: Plaça del Rei.

Barcelona Cathedral – Built in the late 13th to early 15th centuries, this is a classic Gothic cathedral with huge spires, colorful stained glass, and incredible wood carvings. If you go inside, pay the extra €3 to visit the terraces, where you’ll get an incredible view of Barcelona. Admission is €7, though you can sometimes get in for free (there’s no apparent schedule to this). Address: Placita de la Seu, 3.

Explore Gaudí’s architecture

Gaudí is Barcelona’s most famous and creative architect. His unique style, use of nature motifs, and catalog of work is legendary – and part of the reason so many people visit the city. No visit to the city is complete without a tour of Gaudí’s works. You can find them everywhere — in addition to the buildings listed below, he even designed lampposts, monuments, and sculptures. Here are the best sights to see:

Park Güell – Park Güell is a 45-acre garden complex designed and built between 1900 to 1914. It’s since been converted into a municipal garden and is now a World Heritage Site. The focal point of the park is the main terrace, which is surrounded by a long bench in the form of a sea serpent. Known for incorporating various themes into his work, Gaudí incorporated artistic elements of Catalan nationalism as well as ancient poetry and mysticism into this work. The park is right near La Sagrada Familia so it’s easy to visit both. I like how colorful everything in the park is! Tickets are €8.50, at the ticket office, or €7.50 when you order in advance online. Children six years old and younger are free. Address: Carrer d’Olot.

La Sagrada Família – The most famous of Gaudí’s work….and one that seems to never be finished. The church has been under construction for over than 100 years (the groundbreaking was in 1882 and is supposed to be done in 2030!). Gaudí was a devout Catholic and spent the last 10 years of his life working on this project. The church blends influences of man, nature, and religion in its detailed architecture. The audio guide is worth purchasing as it covers the history of the church in great detail. Try to visit mid-morning to late afternoon so you can witness the sunlight cascade throughout all the stained glass. Admission is €15 online/€18 at the door. Address: Plaça de la Sagrada Familia.

Casa Batlló – Casa Batllo is a building restored by Antoni Gaudí in the early 1900s. He spent 2 years on the project completely revamping the exterior, main floor, patio, and roof. With its undulating shape, it’s definitely one of the more eye-catching of his creations. Located in the Eixample district of Barcelona, it (like everything Gaudí designed) was heavy influenced by the Art Nouveau style. The facade was decorated with a mosaic made of broken ceramic tiles that he collected from the trash of a nearby glass shop. The roof is arched and has been likened to the back of a dragon. It’s one of my favorite Gaudí buildings. Admission is €24.50 online/€28.50 at door. Address: Passeig de Gràcia, 43.

Casa Milà (also called La Pedrera) – From 1906 to 1910, Gaudi work on Casa Mila, also known as “La Pedrera” (the stone quarry) as the building has a facade of limestone. The goal was to evoke the sense of a snowy mountain. Gaudí, himself a Catholic and a devotee of the Virgin Mary, also planned for the Casa Milà to be a spiritual symbol and included many religious elements like an excerpt from the rosary prayer on the cornice and statues of Mary, St. Michael, and St. Gabriel. Casa Milà became run down and partially abandoned until it was restored in the late 1980s to its original form. Admission is €22 online/€25 at door. Address: Passeig de Gràcia, 92.

Palau Güell – Located off La Rambla, Palau Guell (Guell Palace) building doesn’t jump out at you like other Gaudí structures. Built from 1886-88, it was designed for one of Gaudi’s patrons, Eusebi Güell. The home is centered around the main room used to entertain high-society guests. The main party room has a high ceiling with small holes near the top where lanterns were hung at night from the outside to give the appearance of a starlit sky. There are colorful tree-like chimneys on top. It’s a bit creepy and gothic to me. One of my favorites too! Admission is €12 (free on the first Sunday of every month). Address: Carrer Nou de la Rambla, 3-5.

Note: Advanced reservations are recommended for Park Guell, Sagrada Familia, Casa Mila, and Casa Batllo so you can skip the lines!

Barcelona Itinerary: Day 2

Visit the Picasso Museum

While I’m not a huge fan of most of Picasso’s later work, it’s still interesting to learn about the life and work of one of the most influential artists of the twentieth century. With more than 4,000 pieces of art, there certainly is a lot to see here. Admission is €11, with discounts available for students and seniors. Free Thursday evenings, 6-9pm and on the first Sunday of each month. Address: Carrer Montcada, 15-23.

Barcelona Museum of Contemporary Art (MACBA)

This museum has over 5,000 works, including an extensive collection of pieces by Spanish artists such as Joan Miró and Pablo Picasso. There are also works by Americans Andy Warhol and Alexander Calder (who is known for his innovative mobiles). If you love modern art, be sure to add this to your itinerary. Admission is €10, with discounts available. Free Saturdays, 4-8pm. It’s always free for anyone under 14. Address: Plaça dels Àngels, 1.

La Boquería

This public market has an amazing array of food stalls and restaurants. It’s been at this location for hundreds of years, in a building with a beautiful iron entrance. It’s right off La Rambla (a long, popular central thoroughfare, see below), so the market is typically very busy. But grab a snack or an inexpensive lunch of ham, bread, cheese, and fruit and enjoy the scene. There’s a wide variety of seafood, including fish, shrimp, octopus, and oysters, as well as nuts, candy, wine, and tapas.

NOTE: Due to overcrowding, tourist groups are now restricted to 15 people or less. You’ll have no problem moving about on your own, but if you’re in a large group….well, be prepared to get kicked out! The city is (appropriately) trying to take back the markets for locals. Watch for changes to

Take a stroll on La Rambla

The popular 1.2km long boulevard with a broad but crowded walkway in the center has many beautiful buildings along it including the Gran Teatre del Liceu, the city’s opera house. Near the theater, you can also see a mosaic by Joan Miró. And there are street performers galore here (they even have their own union). While this street is ground zero for tourists in the city (don’t eat at the restaurants here, they suck), it’s worth a stroll down at least once.

Hit the beach

You’ve done a ton of walking so far, so take the afternoon to relax! Barcelona has a wide and long beach, Barceloneta, that is incredibly popular year-round. The water is good to swim in, the sand is golden colored, and there are a lot of good restaurants on the boardwalk. It’s always busy with tourists and locals, however, so walk further from the center to reach some quieter and cleaner beaches, such as Sant Sebastià in the south and Somorrostro in the north.

Watch some flamenco

Spend your evening watching flamenco at one of these places:

Los Tarantos – This is Barcelona’s oldest flamenco venue. It’s a short show (just 30 minutes) so it’s a good place for an introduction to the art and won’t take up your entire night. Admission from €15. Address: Plaça Reial, 17.

Palau Dalmases – One of the best things about the flamenco shows here is the venue. This palace has amazing décor and incredible architecture. Admission is €25, with one drink included. Address: Carrer de Montcada, 20.

Tablao Flamenco Cordobes – This show is in a convenient location on Barcelona’s main walkway, but it’s pricey. Admission is €45 (drink and show) or €79.50 (dinner and show). Address: La Rambla, 35.

Tablao de Carmen – This show typically features excellent performers, and it’s in an interesting venue that’s a replica of a Spanish village. Admission is €43 (drink and show) or €61 (dinner and show). Address: Av. de Francesc Ferrer i Guàrdia, 13.

Barcelona Itinerary: Day 3

Ride the harbor cable car

The 1,450-meter-long harbor aerial tramway with red cars connects Barceloneta and Montjuïc (a prominent hill). The 10-minute trip gives you incredible views of Barcelona. You’ll see the port and sea on one side and the city on the other. Also, at the top of the 78-meter Sant Sebastià (San Sebastián) tower in Barceloneta, there’s a restaurant accessible by an elevator. A round-trip ticket is €16.50; a one-way ticket is €11.

Explore Montjuïc Hill

When you arrive on the hill from the cable car (or bus #150 if the cable car isn’t in your budget), you’ll find there’s a lot to do here. You can explore the Castell de Montjuïc (a large 18th-century fortress), as well as gardens, a Spanish village, and the Olympic Stadium. Be sure to also visit the Magic Fountain for the colorful water show. You’ll be able to enjoy a sweeping view of the city; watching the sunset from here is amazing too. Some highlights of Montjuïc:

Castell de Montjuïc – This is an old fortress that’s now a museum featuring military displays and information on the history of the castle. The surrounding garden is a beautiful collage of color. Admission is €5. Free Sundays after 3pm and on the first Sunday of each month. Address: Carretera de Montjuïc, 66.

Joan Miró Foundation – Joan Miró was one of Catalonia’s most famous artists. Many of the surrealist’s works are on display in this museum. Admission is €12. Address: Parc de Montjuïc.

Museu Nacional d’Art de Catalunya – This art museum houses Catalonian art, particularly Gothic, Renaissance, and Baroque works. The fountain out front has a spectacular free show that takes place on Fridays and Saturdays from 7pm-9pm (from October-December and February-April), and Thursdays-Sundays from 9pm-11:30pm (from May-September). Admission is €12. Free Saturdays after 3pm, the first Sunday of each month, and for visitors under 16 or over 65. Address: Palau Nacional, Parc de Montjuïc.

Poble Espanyol (Spanish Village) – The Spanish Village was built in 1929 to resemble an actual traditional village with 117 buildings from different Spanish regions. There’s an Andalusian quarter, a section of the Camino, a monastery, and more. There are also various exhibits here devoted to crafts and contemporary art. It’s a good family activity. Admission is €12.60, with discounted rates for children, students, and seniors. The village is open daily, year-round starting at 9am and closing no earlier than 8pm. Address: Av. Francesc Ferrer i Guàrdia, 13.

The Olympic Ring – When Barcelona hosted the 1992 Olympic Games, all of the excitement centered around the Olympic Ring: the Olympic Stadium, Palau Sant Jordi, and the Olympic Esplanade. You can roam the entire space for free. Address: Parc de Montjuïc.

Take a food tour or cooking class

Barcelona is a very food-centric city, so I highly recommend a cooking class or a food tour! You’ll learn about traditional Catalan cooking, selecting the freshest ingredients, and using new techniques. You’ll prepare your own meal and enjoy the fruits of your labor. Some companies to check out are:

bcnKITCHEN – (bcnkitchen.com, from €50)

Barcelona Cooking – (barcelonacooking.net, from €65)

Just Royal Bcn – (justroyalbcn.com, from €77).

Barcelona Itinerary: Day 4

Take a day trip to Girona

This medieval city, just 100km from Barcelona, is one of my favorite destinations in Spain – and far too overlooked by travelers. Here you can climb atop the city walls, wander the narrow lanes of the Jewish Quarter, and soak up the ambiance at one of its many cafés. They filmed Game of Thrones here too! There’s a lot of history and delicious food in the city!

The Renfe train ride is about 80 minutes on the normal train (return tickets from €20); the high-speed train gets there in 38 minutes (return tickets from €30).

Other things to see and do in Barcelona

If you have more than four days in Barcelona, you’re in luck. There are plenty of other activities to fill your time:

Head to Montserrat – The Montserrat mountain range is just outside of the city and makes for a great getaway from Barcelona’s urban atmosphere. You can reach the area by taking a one-hour train ride. Once there, pay a visit to the famous shrine of the Black Madonna at the monastery and walk around the park. The Benedictine monastery and the valley of unique, rocky pillars make for some really awesome photography. Return train tickets are around €20, and you’ll also need to decide whether to take the cable car (my preference) or funicular up the mountain.

Take a food tour – Barcelona has some of the best food in Spain, and there’s no better way to spend your morning than learning about the food culture of the city. I strongly recommend Context Travel’s food tour, which takes you around the Barri Gothic and the food markets there to highlight the food history and delicacies of the region. One of the most informative and delicious tours I’ve been on in a while; it’s not the cheapest food tour in the city, but I got everything I paid for.

Visit an old-school amusement park – Tibidabo Barcelona, built in 1899, is one of the oldest amusement parks in the world. On a tall mountain in the Serra de Collserola, it also offers an incredible view of Barcelona and the coastline. It’s open on the weekends, except in the winter. Admission is €28.50 for adults, €10.30 for children under 1.2m tall, and free for children under 0.90m tall. Address: Plaça del Tibidabo, 3.

Catch an outdoor film – If you’re in Barcelona in July or August, consider going up to Montjuïc Castle to catch an outdoor film on the lawn of the castle’s moat. Screenings take place on Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays and are preceded by some cool live music.

Watch a soccer match – The first “football” game I ever saw was in Barcelona. It was Espaynol versus Valencia. I still have the shirt I bought that day. Barcelona’s two teams are Espanyol and FC Barcelona and, if a match is going on, try to take in one. Locals are obsessed with the sport and you’ll make a lot of good friends at the game! If you can’t make a game, you can tour the stadium and the FCB (or Barça) Museum. Tour admission is €26 online/€29.50 at the door. Match tickets are from €29, depending on the opponent. Address: C. d’Aristides Maillol, 12.

Visit the aquarium – Perfect for a rainy day, the Barcelona Aquarium has more than 11,000 animals, showcasing species from a variety of underwater ecosystems. The walk-through tunnel is the best part. Admission: €20. Address: Moll d’Espanya, del Port Vell.

Gaze at Barcelona’s free public art – Gaudí outdid himself with the huge fountain located in the Parc de la Ciutadella, a tribute to the god Neptune. I absolutely love the art and fountain here. Gaudi designed the famous Cascada Fountain when he was an architecture student. On a warm day, I just like to sit and stare at the fountain. There’s also a zoo in the park and some short walking paths. Take a bottle of wine, grab some ham, and have a picnic.

Other offbeat Gaudí works include the lampposts in Plaça Reial and Pla de Palau, and the Miralles gate and wall on Passeig de Manuel Girona. Barcelona native Joan Miró’s work is found throughout town, and you can see his famous “Woman and Bird” sculpture at Parc de Joan Miró. There are also Miró mosaics on La Rambla and at the airport.

Take a free bike tour – Free Bike Tour Barcelona offers jaunts around the city every day. The tours are typically at 10am and 2pm, but check the website (freebiketourbarcelona.com) to be sure, as there may be just one tour a day in the off-season. They last about three hours and cover all the major sights. Just be sure to tip your guides!

Where to Eat in Barcelona

For some excellent food, be sure to check out some of my favorite places:

Les Quinze Nits – Delicious food at a great price in the famous Plaça Reial. It’s a bit touristy, but even the locals come here for the value. It has a typical Spanish menu. Avoid the long lines at dinner by going for lunch instead. Address: Plaça Reial, 6.

La Fonda – Good food with large portions, near Plaça Reial. Its set menu will give you more than you can eat, and it features beautiful décor and a robust wine selection. Address: Escudellers, 10.

Allium Restaurant – This is a natural food restaurant that prepares its meals with delicious, local ingredients. It has a nice rustic décor and a friendly staff. It is well priced and my favorite restaurant in Barcelona. Address: Carrer del Call, 17.

Pinotxo Bar – Just inside the Boquería food market, this little stall is always packed and serves some of the most famous tapas in the area. I stopped there while on a food tour, and it was delicious. Try the chickpea salad! Address: La Boquería, La Rambla, 91.

The Four Cats – This was one of Picasso’s favorite haunts and a popular hangout for artists in the early 1900s. Grab a drink and maybe some tapas (the patatas bravas are delicious!) and soak up the place’s history. Address: Carrer de Montsió, 3.

Where to Stay in Barcelona

Here’s a list of my favorite places to stay in the city:

Kabul – This is one of my favorite hostels in Europe. It attracts travelers who are looking for a good time. This isn’t a quiet hostel, so be prepared to party. The dorms are very clean, the beds are comfy, and the showers have high pressure. But what makes Kabul so wonderful is the downstairs common area. It takes up a whole floor of the building and comprises a café, bar, tables, internet kiosks, and a pool table. The hostel is booked out weeks in advance, especially during summer, so don’t book at the last minute! Beds from €10.71. Address: Plaça Reial, 17.

Hello BCN – This location is clean, and the beds are comfortable. There’s a super breakfast, and the staff is friendly and helpful. Make sure to ask them for tips about hidden places in town. This is not a party hostel, and you should be able to get some good shut-eye. Beds from €11. Address: Carrer de Lafont, 8-10.

St. Christopher’s Inn – This hostel near La Rambla is all about location: it’s perfect. I really love the curtains on the dorm beds and the gigantic bar/outdoor area next to the hostel. The bar/restaurant has good food and cheap drinks, so you should definitely check it out (even if you don’t stay here). In general, I really like the St. Christopher’s brand; it offers fun, clean, sociable, and modern hostels all over Europe. Beds from €9.90. Address: Carrer de Bergara, 3.

Sant Jordi-Sagrada Família – This is an interesting hostel with a skateboarder vibe. The common area décor is all about urban arts, and the rooms are clean and spacious. The kitchen is big, and you can often find yoga lessons, cheap dinners, and free pub crawls. There’s also a half-pipe, which I’ve never seen at a hostel before. Just watch out for the spotty Wi-Fi. Beds from €14.31. Address: Carrer del Freser, 5.

***

Barcelona has something for everyone. You could squeeze in the real highlights of Barcelona in two or three days, but taking four, five, or even six days for the above itinerary will give you enough time to gorge on Iberian ham, tapas, and sangria while not rushing around.

The city moves slowly. And so should you.

Sleep late, take breaks, eat lots, and just enjoy Barcelona at a Spaniard’s pace!

Book Your Trip to Barcelona: Logistical Tips and Tricks

Book Your Flight Find a cheap flight by using Skyscanner or Momondo. They are my two favorite search engines because they search websites and airlines around the globe so you always know no stone is left unturned.

Book Your Accommodation You can book your hostel with Hostelworld. If you want to stay somewhere other than a hostel, use Booking.com as they consistently return the cheapest rates for guesthouses and cheap hotels. I use them all the time.

Don’t Forget Travel Insurance Travel insurance will protect you against illness, injury, theft, and cancellations. It’s comprehensive protection in case anything goes wrong. I never go on a trip without it as I’ve had to use it many times in the past. I’ve been using World Nomads for ten years. My favorite companies that offer the best service and value are:

World Nomads (for everyone below 70)

Insure My Trip (for those over 70)

Looking for the best companies to save money with? Check out my resource page for the best companies to use when you travel! I list all the ones I use to save money when I travel – and I think will help you too!

Looking for more information on visiting Barcelona? Check out my in-depth destination guide to Barcelona with more tips on what to see, do, costs, ways to save, and much, much more!

Photo credits: 5, 6, 8, 11,

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