#i love her deeply. emily axford the woman that you are

[thuglolita]

the thing i love about fig faeth is that she’s a perfect embodiment of how some of the most hardcore, chaotic, metal-as-fuck punks will also be some of the most genuine, sensitive, compassionate people you will ever meet

[brionbroadway]

Could you do Fig, Chirp and Sundry Sidney for the ask meme?

Thank you! An Emily Axford trifecta!

Fig - I have the most to say about this one lmao

First impression: So since Fantasy High was the first actual play I watched, I was not famaliar with Emily Axford, and I thought Fig would be a stereotypical rebellious character. Funny and likeable, but not a character I'd become emotionally attached to.

Impression now: I know the power of Emily Axford now. That rebellion comes from a place of such deep care for the people and world around her, and it pretty much cracks my heart open. Would die for.

Favorite moment: "The you that appears in Ayda's life is not the illusion. It's really you." This scene is constantly rotating in the back of my mind, ready to devastate me at any moment.

Idea for a story: Ohh, I'm not so good with plots, but any deep exploration of her relationship with Sandra Lynn is something I want to read.

Unpopular opinion: I don't think I still believe this, but at a time I thought her being secretive about Ayda was OOC given how much of an open book she was about everything else. But hearing Emily talk about it and how clearly special it is to her, I see that relationship holding a particular space with Fig.

Favorite relationship: Controversial not to pick Ayda, but her and Sandra Lynn. "You're allowed to be a complex person."

Favorite headcanon: She invites Ayda and Adaine to hang out with her dads to try and make up for their relationships with theirs

Chirp

First impression: Oh my God Emily and Lou are playing chaotic cousins, this is everything I never knew I wanted.

Impression now: The same, but with the addition of "oh and she's deeply in love with a woman, thank you Emily Axford for your service."

Favorite moment: The tea scene with Rue. "A slightly shorter chair." Gift of gab. All the trickery. Iconic cousin behaviour.

Idea for a story: Her introducting Squawk to Esme and Peep, full of hijinks.

Unpopular opinion: I don't know if this is unpopular, and it wasn't Chrip's role in the season, but I would've loved more depth pertaining to Esme and Peep. I just know how Emily can ruin me.

Favorite relationship: COUSIN.

Favorite headcanon: Playing with Peep in the woods and pretending that mundane, mortal things are magic - just a classic mom playing make believe with her kid.

Sundry Sidney

First impression: Emily is playing a droid and that is important to her, so it is also important to me.

Impression now: So much fun, some sneaky Emily Axford depth in there.

Favorite moment: Junkmother, without question.

Idea for a story: Something something her and Barry comparing how they relate to Warfare Whitneys and the Barrys, something something.

Unpopular opinion: Probably my least favourite Emily PC but Startstruck's also my least favourite season. I just want more emotional devastation with my comedy, if you can't tell.

Favorite relationship: NUTS AND BOLTS, ANDROIDS AND STEROIDS.

Favorite headcanon: It's definitely my Axmurph bias leaking through, but she's FWB with Barry Syx.

character asks

[cloudmancy]

HI sorry ive been scrolling through your blog all day after finding it this morning and i am OBSESSED with your acofaf takes so i have an idea to present to you: emily said (jokingly) that wuvvy should hit her up in 80 years, after esme passes, as chirp loves people one at a time. she said this as a comedy joke, and a goof as well, but it landed in my brain and i am now obsessed with chirpwuvvy. wuvvy who is used to shaping herself into what she thinks can be loved. wuvvy who is used to waiting, to not being noticed, to being second best if she is considered at all. wuvvy who left behind her whole world for someone who said they loved her and never ever showed it.

chirp, who loves one at a time- who presents herself as fickle and frivolous but has such an unexpectedly big heart, who loves her wife and her daughter enough to give up flight for them. she may not seem it, but she has the capacity for extreme selflessness. she understands sacrificing parts of yourself for who you love. lady chirp featherfowl, hospitable. kind. loving. she presents selfishness and frivolity and whimsy, but she loves so deeply that she gave up flight for her daughter, for her wife.

i’m picturing wuvvy, post-canon and adrift after all the shit she had to deal with only to be cast aside anyways… and chirp. chirp, known for her hospitality. chirp, who would take wuvvy in- an open door, an offer of tea, a warm smile that wuvvy’s never faced the full force of before- and wuvvy, who has been shown scraps of kindness at most. who has been without anyone’s regard for so long. duty and love and suddenly, kindness freely given by a woman who loves so few but so, so deeply- and sure, her heart belongs to esme, but… wuvvy is used to waiting.

“come find me in 80 years”. im losing my mind. thank you ms emily axford. thank you ms aabria iyengar.

YOU GET IT! YOU GET IT! postcanon wuvvy deserves to take a break from being around rue and find someone who will devote themselves to her as equally as she devotes herself to the ones she loves. she deserves that reciprocation and I can't think of a better person for that than chirp. emily axford you are so right wuvvy WILL find you in 80 years and you can watch over your grandchildren together

as an aside I think it was a missed opportunity for chirp to not be a bleeding heart dove

[utilitycaster]

Regarding the post about people saying Laura Bailey and Emily Axford being "too world-breaking for Calamity" do you have any theories about what it is about Laura that attracts these kinds of takes?

I can't speak for Emily, as I haven't seen any of the D20 content she's in, but I've noticed Critical Role fans tend to have a particular sort of bad take about Laura or her characters that is like, affectionate on the surface, but is actually deeply condescending and dismissive of Laura and her talents as an actress.

I'm talking about things like insisting she didn't have a say in how Vex was portrayed in LOVM, refusing to see Jester as a fully adult woman character, deciding Imogen having glasses would be cute, but only Imogen having glasses would be cute, and interacting with all three only insofar as they relate to other characters. It's like, the people "love Laura", but they don't really love Laura, if that makes sense.

On some level, I have to admit that finding the root cause of this does not ultimately matter and I would just like people to stop saying stupid things on the internet, a futile wish to be sure. I do have some thoughts though (below); I also think this specific instance was just like...someone trying to make a post that made them sound like they had an analysis but they actually didn't so they just did some bullshitting; stupidity and not malice. I guess it there probably is some sexism in that like, they said Emily and Laura and not Zac and Taliesin, but ultimately I think it still boils down largely to "the op of that post was just saying words without actually engaging in thought."

My personal theory is that it's a really toxic combination of being unwilling to openly criticize a woman in the cast but also, well, disliking Laura for reasons that I suspect are largely tied to either shipping or not liking her characters or both, and so to reconcile these two things they instead remove Laura as a person with agency from the equation, not realizing that this is actually also terrible. Much-longer-than-intended post below.

I joined the Critical Role fandom in Campaign 2 but from what I understand, while both Laura and Marisha got plenty of hate and sexual harassment in C1 (some of the stuff I saw in my C1 binge on the early Twitch chat before I realized I could put a sticky note over it or maybe listen to the podcast was bad), Marisha-as-Keyleth got a disproportionate amount, quite literally to the point of death threats.

Then, what seems to have happened is that some people saw this and rather than saying "yeah, there is a way to indicate you did not like a character choice, or you find aspects of the character annoying overall, or even that you outright dislike the character while still treating the actor with respect, and we should encourage that and not tolerate, you know, the death threats" this curdled in some people's brains into "Thou Shalt Not Criticize The Female Cast Members."

Except a lot of people truly didn't like Laura's choices. Why? Well, that's their business, and as this post will continue to make clear, I don't care if you don't like Laura's choices and it's your right to do so. I think a lot of them wish that Vex had ended up with Keyleth, or that she'd died instead of Vax, or that Jester had ended up with Beau, or Caleb, or that Imogen was with Laudna already (yeah there is a particular pattern of this especially having to do with Laura's character's relationship with Marisha and Liam's characters). Or maybe they just found Vex to be bitchy and bossy and materialistic, especially in works set earlier in the campaign like the comics or TLOVM (she is all these things and this is why I love her) or Jester to be grating (which she could be at times in early C2).

And, you know, if they had just said "man I'm disappointed my ship didn't happen, and I don't really like this other ship that did happen" or "yeah I'm just not a huge fan of Vex/Jester/Imogen", or even "the theme of being a person who presents a very different face to the world than to themselves and who struggles with vulnerability doesn't do it for me and so I generally don't vibe with Laura's characters", it would have been totally fine. But I think people got all caught up in this stupid unwritten rule of Thou Shalt Not Criticize, so they try to reframe it as "oh, no, I LOVE Vex, I just hate how she was portrayed in TLOVM" or claiming that some kind of nebulous forces stood in the way of their preferred ships. Except that the logical conclusion of both those things is "Laura doesn't have any creative voice within the company and can't make choices relating to her own character" which is in fact a far more fucked-up, insidious, and insulting thing to say - to everyone involved. I think this is also why Laura's characters tend to get twisted and hollowed out and infantilized; it's again, a way to say "oh no I like [vaguely-Vex/Jester/Imogen-adjacent OC], totally" instead of confronting the fact that they do not, in fact, like Vex or Jester or Imogen as they are actually portrayed.

You know, people hated on Matt Colville, who wrote the early comics, for saying that he didn't like Vex much...but the fact is he wrote her in a way I happened to enjoy a lot and which I felt made sense for the character, and I have to assume Laura was probably okay with it as well. Being a goddamn adult and honestly expressing your preferences is healthy and allows you to engage with a work with a clearer eye. (By the way, want to know of an actual player who often plays characters whose arc over the campaign concerns being able to more healthily express negative emotions? You will never guess who it is.)

Anyway, that's what I think is going on. This happens to be one of my personal hills to die on, tbh - not just re: Laura, but in general. Like this is why I've made posts about the weird and wrong Official Fandom Opinions people have about the cast (many of which I believe have similar roots in acceptable/unacceptable targets of criticism), or why I've been so vehement in saying "let me dislike FCG" - it's because it's actually fucking important to be able to say "I don't like this, and this is why, and I don't want you to tell me why I should like it, and if you are not able to hear people criticizing a thing you like - or if the mere act of criticism or dissent is a problem for you - you need to find a way to get past that because it is deeply toxic to everyone around you and I can't imagine it's great for you either."

[bejeweledbuckley]

moonshine cybin!!

OO BOY HERE WE GO!! AHHH!! (read more time! also i tried to avoid spoilers cause idk how far along you are rn!)

favorite thing about them: everything??i love how she loves so much and so deeply, and BELIEVES in them and won’t give up on them?  i relate to hardwon surefoot because i too worship this woman. oh gosh i don’t want to spoil later eps for you oh goodness i am going to try and be careful

least favorite thing about them: AGAIN, SPOILERS. okay being as vague as possible, i love her selflessness but sometimes i just want to hold her and be like LET OTHER PEOPLE TAKE CARE OF YOU AND HELP YOU TOO MY LOVE.

favorite line: oh there are so many. emily axford is a genius. my mind is blanking i shouldve written down more. going through my liveblog tag, “You know the biggest Transformer of all? Motherhood.” in context it made me CACKLE. also “A child has a duty to his father, but a hero has a duty to the world” AGH i love her good lord

brOTP: BEV BEV BEV, i adore their friendship so much,,. there are so many points in the last few arcs where bev comes to her for advice and i lost it every time they’re just so sweet and GOSH. also pawpaw obviously,, the scene where we get to see their first meeting BROKE me it was so fcking sweet

OTP: it’s common knowledge im a sucker for hardshine right? like i could get them as platonic too but i’ve got a whole ship playlist & a note in my phone of my favorite moments of theirs sO

nOTP: uhhhh balnor ig?? even though thats really only ever a goof. i’m chill with the other ships for her i’ve seen!

random headcanon: since she only sleeps four hours, if she ever notices any of the others having a nightmare when she’s awake she’ll hum/sing to them via rapport spores until they start resting soundly again

unpopular opinion: idk if i have any?

song i associate with them: ive got a whole playlist! favorite on there rn for her is probably woodland! i gotta add more to it tbh. (ALSO EL! if you do check out the playlist i do recomend skipping One Big Bed until the finale!! no major spoilers in the lyrics but hearing it for the first time at the end of the last ep made me weep it was just beautiful trust me!!)

[gideonthefirst]

The gal Moonshine

How I feel about this character

I. Moonshine is my favorite character of all time with the theoretical possible exception of Tiffany Aching I love her so much I cried the vast majority of the time I was writing my most recent fic I am, like. Not capable of putting the emotions I have about Moonshine into words.

She’s selfless to the point of self-destruction and I think exploring that as a flaw, especially in the only woman in the party, is so smart and interesting and Emily Axford is a genius. The way she balances learning new things with staying connected to the Crick and its people makes me cry every time it’s brought up. The specific experience of deeply, entirely loving your home and your culture and your people but also not feeling like you fully belong there and not knowing why or what’s wrong with you for it. The willingness to take care of anyone who needs to be taken care of. How powerful she is. The way her walls are built so high and so strong that no one even knows she has them. 

I can’t, like. My friend told me I was like her once when I was talking about the “things that don’t belong always find a way of belonging when you’re around” scene and I almost burst into tears because being like Moonshine is the best I could possibly be 

All the people I ship romantically with this character

Alanis! I also think Jaina would be neat and good! But mostly Alanis just because The Parallels Of It All

My non-romantic OTP for this character

Hardwon, for reasons already discussed in his version of this ask. 

My unpopular opinion about this character

She’s “chaotic” in that she grew up in an essentially anarchist society and continues to believe in those ideals but she’s not “chaotic” in the way that people are constantly reducing Emily’s playstyle to she’s clearly meticulously thought out on all kinds of different levels can we please stop reducing women to one single, nonthreatening character trait. Also she’s Jewish because the Crick is Jewish.

One thing I wish would happen / had happened with this character in canon.

I don’t want her to end up queen of Hell for obvious reasons but I also don’t want Hardwon and Bev to convince her to stay because they need her, because she’s spent her whole life only doing things that other people need. I want them to convince her to stay because she needs them and she’s allowed to need things and act on those needs

[utilitycaster]

Your fav character from each class in all the actual plays you’ve watched?

THE BEST QUESTION (if hard). I’m only counting regular PCs here; see the end for some guest/NPC/one-shot mentions. As you can see I love basically all characters but I do have my favorites.

Barbarian: there is a high potential, now that Ashley is back for good, that Yasha will win this next year but for now Gorgug and his sweet awkwardness and confused attempts to find his dad wins. (some other good barbarians: Grog, Beryl from Relics and Rarities who was a. kind of a stoner and b. an absolute delight and c. a cool depiction of path of the ancestral guardian, and Sir Fitzroy Maplecourt, sweet crepe loving failure)

Bard: I love Fig, but I have to go Scanlan. You know that art piece of the Vecna battle that’s overlaid with the All Work No Play “what would the worst character be” line? Yeah. From “I’m snoring after having sex” to “I was saving it for Vax”. You just can’t beat that. (some other good bards: Annabella from Relics and Rarities, Misty from Dimension 20)

Cleric: this is probably the hardest category (shout out to a lot of clerics. Jester, Kingston, and Kristen are tied for second place) but I think I have to go with Caduceus. I love how much he sees of everyone else and how little we know of him. I love how not-so-secretly judgemental he is. I love his bone flute. I love that he’s quietly trying to save his dying home, and perhaps find family that might be dead. Someone hug him for me. (I would like to recognize Pike and Merle of course, as well as Efink Murderdeath here, and while I’m only 7 episodes in I think Zolf is already my favorite of RQG. )

Druid: Keyleth. I feel like TAZ is at a disadvantage because they’re so early on in Graduation, but also I love the Firbolg but I am not sure a druid will ever surpass Keyleth, with all her messy awkwardness and genuine desire to do good at any cost. (shout out to Ricky Huckster for being a really unique take on the druid, Lillith from Escape from the Bloodkeep for being a great wine mom, and to Kugrash who is currently ripping my heart out)

Fighter: I’m surprising myself here but the recent developments with Fabian Seacaster have put him in the forefront, I think because his story is still ongoing and because I’m a sucker for an arrogant jock suddenly confronting mortality and failure. I do still love Percival De Rolo a lot though. (shout out to Magnus Burnsides who is good at everything, and Veros the O.G. Himbo from Relics and Rarities)

Monk: Beau. This is another case of like, I love Sofia Bicicleta too, but Marisha Ray has some kind of genius for playing female characters that really tap into like, things that many women I think feel but don’t know how to express (at least, I, a woman, feel these things and don’t know how to express them). Beau is such a complicated abrasive character who feels things deeply, and who has genuinely tried and succeeded in changing. She’s so dynamic and wonderful and I love her to bits.

Paladin: Vax. I wrote a whole piece about my experience of listening to CR campaign 1 episode 57 that I never published or posted. I think there’s something deeply profound and beautiful about sticking to an oath that you didn’t ever think you’d choose, and to a promise you fell into. (also, spoilers but Fjord’s going to be my choice for Warlock so I cover that there even though one of my favorite things about him is his switch to Paladin). (shout out, of course, to Ricky Matsui)

Ranger: Vex. Due to some valid and some invalid complaints about the ranger class few people play it, which is a shame because the revised ranger options are pretty great (Horizon Walker is amazing, I say as an admitted fan of weird planar shit) and because like, Aragorn was my favorite LOTR character. But yeah, everything I’ve said about Keyleth and Beau applies to Vex, the D&D character I think I relate most to despite my irl stats not matching hers at all (I do not have 17 Charisma). The imposter syndrome, the need to appear that everything is under control, the sibling loyalty, the stubbornness, the quiet leadership - it’s all so perfect and so unique and I love her very much. (Sokhbarr was a fun take though)

Rogue: put Vax as Paladin so I could nominate Riz as my favorite rogue (and again, I love Nott and enjoy what I’ve seen of Argo, and to be fair, Sasha seems very good as well) but I think the inquisitive subclass is so cool and Riz has such a wonderful arc. Also, goblin with gun is great but goblin high schooler with gun is straight up genius.

Sorcerer: a very rare class, tbh, with Pete getting it by default. He is indeed a fascinating character though, and tying his sorcery into the mythology of the world is a pretty brilliant DM move. (I also am very into Hamid thus far, not in the least because I love halflings)

Warlock: Fjord. I liked Fjord from the start, and even when he was being an ass during the pirate arc found him relatable. I think it might be my background as a bard player that makes me love this disaster who survived for years on just a high constitution and being really good at talking and playing roles; I also love someone who isn’t the greatest leader but falls into it, and someone with control issues working through it (see also: Vex, Percy) And finally, I don’t know if Travis was telling the truth about him being lawful good but he genuinely does want to make things better for people and he takes responsibility very seriously. (obviously, I also really liked Leland, and while I think of both Fig and Sofia as primarily of their main classes of bard and monk, they are cool as warlocks. I get why Emily Axford keeps gunning for Hexblade).

Wizard: Caleb. Given all the other sources of magic it’s always fascinating to see why someone becomes a wizard specifically, and I also like how complex Caleb is - not just the trauma, though that’s part, but the humor and the versatility. (Adaine was a close runner-up though, and Taako was my favorite of THB but is a little too goofy to be a favorite).

Artificer: I mean, obviously Tary.

NPCs and guests, with less commentary:

Barbarian: gonna go with Lionel the True Polymorphed Duck here.

Bard: Hazel Copperpot, she of the 1930s radio accent

Cleric: again very difficult, but then again, not so difficult. Lieve’tel was great.

Druid: Nila, the sweet and calming presence in our hour of need.

Fighter: oh god I don’t know if I can choose between Keg, bisexual dwarven disaster, and Brian David Gilbert’s Hargis, awkward goliath theater kid.

Monk: Ferriwen Breeze, who I do hope shows up again because she was my favorite Darrington Brigade character and I really love Genasi; also Expositor Dairon, natch.

Paladin: few people play paladins as guests which is weird. I do like Kerrek, and I do like Arkhan, but like, Kima, clearly.

Ranger: Sandralynn Faeth, hands down. A wonderful NPC.

Rogue:  I do love Cathilda, and I do love Twiggy, but I laughed about the Owlbear for the entire Darrington Brigade one shot.

Sorcerer: I mean...it has to be Gilmore, right? Calianna is great but no one can beat Gilmore.

Warlock: Zahra, who also, incidentally, is the only non-Hexblade Warlock who’s shown up. I mean hexblade is objectively amazing but Zahra is too.

Wizard: there have been many wizard NPCs across games and it was a very difficult choice but who else is graceful, unendingly kind and patient, and reliable in all situations? Allura Vyesoren is the wizard you wish your wizard could be. Yussa and Essek and Lup and Arthur Aguefort and Barry and Lyra and Ranier and far more wizard NPCs and guests are all wonderful in their own ways but like, did you think you could come for Matt Mercer’s self insert? you could not.

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