#i love having a clean space but dang!

[passionfruitmango]

I did not anticipate how often I'd have to be cleaning my vacuum once I adopted a regular vacuuming schedule???

[blushcoloreddreams]

5 things to clean everyday

Good morning and happy Thursday everyone! I

So today let’s talk cleaning. Don't forget to turn up the music, a podcast, audiobook (my favorite) or to cart your Netflix around with you to each room because it is officially CLEANING TIME.

Yeah baby!

Everyone already knows about the importance of making their beds in the morning but let’s talk about the 5 areas you should clean ABOVE ALL ELSE. If you have no energy at the end of the day, at least take time to do these 5 areas. 5 minutes each, 25 minutes total. Totally worth it.

1. Sinks

Keep your bathroom sinks white and sparkly. Remove the hair, remove the nasty yellow staines and just keep them CLEAN. In your kitchen, empty the sink every night from dishes and pieces of gunky Food. Noncluttter allowed here. Disinfect disinfect disinfect. Dirty sinks cause stress and anger. I am SO not here for it.

Use a cleaner with disinfectant, a castor oil, vinegar, or a heavier all purpose cleaner and spray out that sink! I put the sink to bed every night. It helps me feel so peaceful.

2. The Floors

I’m not really referencing a daily vacuum sesion here. Sure, sweep your kitchen and vacuum your living room every day if you feel so inclined, but today I'm talking CLUTTER. Keep your floor clean of clutter. Pick up the clothes on the bedroom floor, pick up the towels off the bathroom floor, and for the love of all that is good, put the shoes away and don't let them cluster around the front door.

A cluttered red floor full of random items, toys for those with kids , and dirty clothes will definitely add stress to your life. Put on your favorite jam, turn up the volume, and do a quick cleaning sweep. It’s like when we were in kindergarten and we had to sing the ”Clean-Up Song“ and by the end of the song, we had to be done!

3. Clutter piles

Oh the elusive clutter pile. Papers, mail, weird documents, thank you cards, and random things to recycle and Specially "transient-clutter." You know, the type of clutter that builds because every single thing in that pile needs to go to a different home?

Well these clutter piles only breed if we allow ourselves to add to them everyday. Clutter piles MUST be dealt with. They are bad for the brain. Have an inbox/outbox style folder in your kitchen if you must, but I urge you to not use counter space as your personal file folder. Everyday, go through the paper clutter building on your counter: file, recycle, or burn. Your brain will thank you.

4. Your Bedroom

Keep your bedroom a place of zen and peace. It is for sleeping, romantic times, and cuddly times. You do not want to be looking over at a pile of mushy clothes, or a random suitcase when you are trying to relax. Keep your bedroom as a sacred place in the house: no mess enters, no mess leaves. Never use your bedroom as a psuedyo storage room. Keep it special to you or you and your spouse. Remember that bedrooms are supposed to cradle us off to sleep, and should therefore be peaceful.

I take time every single day to tidy the bedroom floors, make sure the furniture is clear of clutter, and to make my bed and make sure my sheets feel fresh. Never unerestimate the power of a clean bedroom combined with your sleep. It’s magical.

5. Your Stovetop

Finally, I encourage you to clean you STOVETOP every dang day. If you follow me on Instagram, you will see me scrubbing that baby on the regular. The stovetop is another "saced" place to me. It is where I spend at least 1-2 hours of my day, and it is a place where I want to enjoy my cooking experience, pop up a YouTube video next to me, or even sip a glass of red wine. I cannot do those things in peace while I'm staring down at crusty egg bits and nasty juices.

Use a cleaner specific to your type of stovetop. I use a glass stovetop cleaner, but if you have a gas stovetop, take time to soak the grates in dish soap and vinegar to remove grease. Clean that stovetop everyday and your sanity will return. I promise.

There you have it friends! Extra ranting about cleaning to hopefully motivate you. There is no reason for us to be cluttered if we do a little every day. Take 5 minutes a day on each of these areas, and you will see an ENORMOUS difference in your life. 5 Minutes for each area, 25 minutes a day, and a lifetime of internal zen, peace, and joy.

Have a fabulously clean weekend friends. No clutter piles

[egrets-not-regrets]

My silly thoughts on Guesthouse of the (Lost) Astartes Series

Tagging: @kit-williams, @gallifreyianrosearkytiorsusan, @sleepyfan-blog,

@bispecsual, @c-u-c-koo-4-40k, @barn-anon, @bleedingichorhearts

Here are some of my own thoughts/headcanons/comments while writing this story:

Erriox loves Lenora very very much, and Lenora feels the same. Though it took them longer before their bond truly became a mate bond. Whereas Alcyon and Malaran has an intense bond with Amelia and Ben respectively, resulting in Malaran considering Ben, his child, and Alcyon considers Amelia his mate/wife within a very short period of time. It wasn't exactly difficult for Alcyon to take the role that Amelia's ex left behind, to be honest.

Potential number of Ben’s dads = - 1 + 2. Problem here would be that Malaran and Alcyon might start butting heads if Ben starts calling either of them 'dad'. Especially if Ben starts calling Alcyon 'dad'. As chaos space marines are rather possessive of their bonded humans.

The deeply religious consider chaos space marines as demons and of the devil. Any one who is bonded to one are either ousted or must be 'saved'. Since Ben is the firstborn (only) son, they were trying to 'save' him from Malaran's 'influence'. His mother (Amelia) already 'fell' (bonded with a chaos Iron Warrior), but since she's the wife and not truly family, ousting her was not a big issue. They can raise Ben themselves to make sure he walks the right path in life.

Erriox just wants to mack on Lenora. Malaran's a prick for calling him out.

Alcyon, despite being a chaos space marine, has some degree of propriety. Put it this way: say he has it in his head of wanting to bend Amelia over the admin desk of the medical wing and take her right there, he'll think it, but he ain't gonna say it out loud or at least not until when they're in private. Malaran doesn't have as much of a filter.

Lenora prefers that Amelia remember her as a responsible adult, and not take children for high-speed joyrides chases on winter roads. She is a decent driver, but even that was pushing her skills to the limit and she heavily relied on luck to get them through okay.

Erriox has seen Lenora drive, but never like the Tokyo Drift stunt she pulled. Poor man darn near had a heart attack. That was the first time he had to confront the fact that Lenora could've gotten seriously hurt or killed before his eyes and there was very little he could do to stop it as he was also dealing with the Black Templar at the time.

When Erriox and Malaran took a long time to get back to the base, that was the first time Lenora got scared that Erriox was going to die or was dead. To say the least, both of them had some reservations of this whole plan at some point, despite only outright saying so at the end.

Don’t leave a mess in Apothecary Osteron’s medbay. Medics are scary when angry. I picture him as a mix of Ratchet from Transformers and Unohana from Bleach. He has health and safety standards and it is important to keep his medbay clean. His poor staff JUST cleaned it, he's not about to make them do it again. Might as well get the three knuckleheads to do it since they were the ones who made the mess.

Alcyon once made children cry when he went to the medical ward to pick up Amelia, because he was so intimidating.

Also, Alcyon can’t purr like Malaran or Erriox. Man’s still learning. Amelia finds his attempts to purr cute and endearing despite sounding like something between a broken engine, snarl, and the lowing of needy tiger (or a lowing cow).

Warmaster be like “This bunch of chucklefucks just haaaaad to start shit with the goddamn Black Templar.” Now he has to do PR and negotiations to avoid too much bad blood with the Imperial Fists in the city. All he wanted was just one week without drama. His dang fault though. This wouldn't have happened if Amelia wasn't banned from contacting her son.

Amelia knows some Gothic. She knows enough, but not a lot. That's why she was blushing when Malaran made that comment.

Does she know that Alcyon pretty much considers her his mate/ wife? Yes, from his actions, but Alcyon had never outright told her. Sometimes he would call her by those names in Gothic as a term of endearment, but never told her what they mean. However, like she mentioned in the chapter, the wounds left by previous relationship is still pretty fresh. While she loves Alcyon deeply and returns his affections, at that point, Amelia's still pretty hesitant about calling Alcyon her lover.

Malaran can and will start shit, especially if it has anything to do with Ben. Also, he can be a little shit sometimes.

Meaning in floriography of the little bouquet of yarrow (Achillea millefolium) and dandelion on Alcyon’s desk. Dandelions symbolize hope, strength, resilience, and renewal. Yarrow has the double meaning of love and healing, and can also mean “I love you in spite of everything” or everlasting love. Like dandelions, it is also considered a tough hardy weed, which is representative of Alcyon’s physical character and th resilience of the bond itself.

Alcyon gifted the flowers to her as part of his apology for the fallout from his fight with the Black Templar at Ben's school. That was a massive fuck up on his part and he knew it. At first Alcyon didn't think much of it and thought that was in his right to challenge the Black Templar, with the intention of winning back Ben for Amelia, only to realize that it cost her the last chance to see her son. With Amelia not wanting to be near him nor see him for an extended period of time, and the bond backlashing onto him, it was causing Alcyon to start to lose his mind. Luckily, Osteron intervened and managed to convince Amelia to at least meet with him again. From there, Alcyon slowly made amends for his mistake. He fell hard for this woman and formed such an intense bond, so it was something he couldn't easily give up. His brothers advised him that human women loved flowers, so he ended up picking a bunch that was available at the time and gifting it to Amelia. It wasn't much and the way he presented them to her was kind of awkward and intimidating, but it was a start and his apology was genuine, and Amelia was touched by the gesture. To say the least, they spent that night making up for lost time in his room. She decided to the flowers left behind on his desk, to add "a pop of colour" to the grey utilitarian style of the room. Alcyon couldn't help but indulge her request. He later learned about the symbolic meanings of the flowers that he gave Amelia, and found it amusing and ironically fitting for what he was trying to say when he gifted them to her.

I think that bonds can be negatively affected and broken not just by death and distance, but also by major emotional trauma. Intense bonds, like between Alcyon and Amelia, are affected by the consequences of emotional trauma more harshly than normal bonds. How it could be saved just depends on how resilient the relationship is between the two parties and/or if they are lucky enough to have someone to intervene before that bond is broken. On the other hand, it is entirely possible that the affected space marine will hunt down his bonded human in an attempt to either save the bond from being broken or quell the psychic backlash. (Possibly becoming yandere in the process)

Love to know your thoughts as well!

[phantom-dc]

Dad Hood - part 14

Bruce was getting a weird feeling. He thought that with Jason coming clean about having a kid and with he misunderstanding about Jason being cloned cleared up that things would go back to normal. But the way his sons were acting told him that there was still something he didn’t know. It likely had something to do with Danny, but he wasn’t sure what. Danny was a sweet kid, always eager to help others and make new friends. Bruce had still no clue what Dick, Tim and Jason were hiding from him and it nagged at him. He was suspicious that it was something big, otherwise one of them would’ve ratted the others out by now. If not to him then to Duke, Steph or Cass. Even Alfred didn’t know what was going on, and there were times Bruce suspected him of being an all-knowing being only pretending to be human. Bruce decided to keep an close eye. It’s not like he could investigate the Joker case any further before J’ohn came back from Mars anyway.

‘Grandpa Bruce, is daddy’s doll dry yet?’

Bruce looked down. Danny was looking at him with big eyes, waiting for the paint on their self-made Red Hood action figure to dry. Checking it with his finger, Bruce found it had dried and was ready.

‘It seems he is, champ. Here you go, you can play all you want with him. Be careful not to break him, ok?’

After Bruce handed Danny the action figure, Danny got really excited. He immediately ran back to his other toys so he could play out the stories his uncle’s told him about. Though they were made child-friendly, of course. Danny immediately gathered the Batman, Nightwing and Red Robin toys. He even had a Mr. Freeze and Riddler toy. Mr. Freeze had no problem with his visage being used as long as a portion of the money went to his wife’s cure. Riddler had seen it as a contest with Batman, so his toy even came with pre-recorded riddles! Seeing Danny play with them, Bruce turned to the other people in the room.

‘Dang, Bruce. You’re really playing into the grandpa role, aren’t you?’

Jason smirked at Bruce. It was a good thing that there wasn’t much happening in Gotham. With things calm in the city, he could stay a bit longer and the family could bond. Jason couldn’t remember the last time things were like this. He started to wonder if he should tell everyone how Danny took care of his Lazarus problem… Nah, they would just ask more questions and he really didn’t want to put his Soul on display again. Never again.

‘You’re not going anywhere, Red Hood! We’ll skin you alive and turn you into a coffee table!’ Danny said, holding the Mr. Freeze toy.

Dick, Jason, Tim and Bruce looked at Danny. Where had he picked up that language? Sure, Jason wasn’t always able to watch what he said around Danny, but he never threatened to turn someone into furniture? Maybe he should try it though. He bet he could make it work, with his reputation and all.

‘You are going down! The Red Hood never loses! Pew pew!’ Danny was pretending the Red Hood toy could shoot lasers from his hands.

Dick thought it was adorable. Did Danny think Jason had laser guns? Did he see those in cartoons? Maybe Danny liked those sci fi cartoons that were popular nowadays. With all the glow-in-the-dark stars Danny put up in his room it was obvious that Danny loved space. He wonders if Danny had those stars in his old house.

‘I am the Question Mark, and you will question why you ever thought you could win!’ Danny was holding the Riddler toy, and for some reason putting up a mad-scientist voice.

Bruce was worried. What had Danny been through that he knew about stuff like this? The threats and the obvious mad-scientist. Did the person Danny was copying the voice off the same one as the person that tried to clone him? It made him think. After Jason had told him that Danny had adoptive parents out there, he had avoided the issue. He’d been too happy to have a new family member. But now? Would it be safe for Danny? He should investigate these ‘parents’, so he could decide if it would be safer for Danny to stay here. If he was going to stay, Bruce knew that he would be fine. Everyone loved Danny, and Jason was being a very good father-figure to him. Bruce could tell that Jason loved his son very much, and would do anything for him. Somewhere, deep down, Bruce wished he could say the same thing.

‘You’re defeated, Question-Mark-man! No evil people will harm the innocents while the Red Hood is here!’ Danny put the Red Hood toy’s foot on the Riddler toy, in a triumphant pose.

Jason smiled. It was nice to be his kids hero. He felt a hand on his shoulder. Bruce looked at him with a very proud look in his eyes.

‘Jason, I must say, I’m proud of you. You’re a good father.’

And then Danny phased the Riddler toy into the floor.

Bruce, Jason and Dick were looking at Danny. Danny, who had just phased a toy into the floor. Seeing the gears turning in Bruce’s head, Tim quickly scooped up the kid and left the room. As Bruce slowly turned to look at Jason and Dick, Jason decided to make the first move:

‘IT WAS DICK’S FAULT!’

Dick was shocked by that. They immediately started arguing. Dick accused Jason of throwing him under the bus. Jason accused Dick of leaving Danny alone in public. Dick threw back that Jason didn’t warn him about Danny being so much to handle. Jason asked why on Earth he told his 5-year old child that he puts people in the ground, this never would’ve-

‘ENOUGH!’

Bruce’s voice boomed through the room, silencing the 2 brothers. He was furious. His grandson was the reason the Joker was dead, and his own children tried to hide it from him! Bruce took a deep breath. Dick and Jason were looking guilty. Bruce was reminder of how they looked when they got into trouble as kids, but this was serious. The fight the two had did reveal a few things to Bruce.

‘So, Danny is a meta? And you, Dick, told him that bad people are to be buried alive?’

Dick didn’t look him in the eyes:

‘He wanted to know what Jason did for work, and I was overwhelmed and it just came out? I knew I messed up as soon as I said it, but Dany didn’t seem to care. I never thought he would-’

Bruce cut him off. He needed more information, not excuses.

‘Does Danny realize he killed someone?’

Jason said Danny didn’t, at least Jason thinks he didn’t. Danny never showed signs of that, but with all the things that Danny does do it might have slipped through. Jason still isn’t sure what things Danny tells him are real and what is a child’s interpretations. Bruce sighed. That was good, at least they didn’t have another trauma to deal with.

‘Ok, we can deal with this. But I do need to know what Danny can do before we can make plans for him. Is phase-shifting his only power?’

Jason looked at Dick with a strange look, that promised nothing good. He pulled out a tiny black notebook, scribbled something in it, claiming to be updating the list and handed it to Bruce.

Invisibility

Cryokinesis

Flight

Soul-pulling-out-powers???

Destructive scream

Super strength

(Flying) Superspeed

Photokineses

Shields

Doesn't need to breath (as often)?

Color changing (Camouflage? Different form?)

Phase-shifting

Bruce read it over. He looked at Jason.

‘Jason. This is like half the Justice League’s powers.’

Jason just nods. Dick tells him this is only what they’ve seen Danny do. They have no clue what else he can do. Danny’s memory is iffy, and couldn’t give them a list himself.

‘We need to figure out where Danny came from. We put this off long enough, but this amount of powers is concerning. I’m guessing you were hiding more form me, so the both of you need to come clean about everything.’

Jason sighed. He knew this was coming. He told Bruce everything. How Danny just showed up, to the Lazarus blood, to being cloned, to being younger than he should be and everything. By the end, Bruce had turned slightly pale. The three decided to use the Bat-computer to find out more.

When they got there, Tim was already working on Danny’s case. He managed to track Danny from the orphanage in Europe that Talia had left him at. There Danny had been adopted by a family called ‘the Fenton’s’, but he had lost sight of them after they moved to the US. No matter how hard Tim tried, he couldn’t find anything. It was almost like there was some sort off wall blocking all information. As much as he hated to admit it, Tim didn’t think that technology would help them much further. Bruce thought for a bit. If technology couldn’t help…

‘Good thing Constantine still owes me a favor, then.’

First - Previous - Next - AO3

[kanerallels]

I still haven't seen Interstellar - would you like the chance to (maybe spoiler-free though it's been out so long I probably have seen/don't necessarily care about spoilers) ramble about it?

OH HO HO HO THANK YOU VERY MUCH FOR THIS ASK MY FRIEND okay time to be as abnormal about this movie as possible (without spoilers, don't worry!)

It's a movie about cool space adventures. It's also a movie about love (mainly platonic). And it makes me very emotional

The main character is played by Matthew McConaghey, and who doesn't love to see a Texan dad in space?

There is POETRY

Listen. This is a movie by Christopher Nolan. He's a genius, and is absolutely famous for movies that are absolutely insane. The science and mechanics of it all are mind boggling but incredibly awesome, and you'll be thinking about it for days. FOR. DAYS. (literally I still think about his movie Tenet so often)

Also the music is by the myth, the legend himself, Hans kriffing Zimmer. The guy who did the soundtrack for the Lion King, and wrote the main theme for Pirates of the Caribbean, and about half a dozen other things. The level to which I am OBSESSED with this soundtrack? Insane

There is a sassy robot. I love him

There's a book about the science behind it that's actually pretty dang neat though I'm not smart enough to understand it

Timmy Chardonay (aka Timothee Chalamet) is in it. And so is freaking Michael Caine who we love and appreciate

Somehow it's both deeply science-y and deeply emotion based at the same time. There are just such incredibly beautiful scenes, okay? They carry this deep weight that just grows even better with every rewatch and I love it so so much

This is actually the first movie that ever made me cry

Overall it's such a masterpiece. So full of beautiful imagery and scenes. It has such good cinematography and music and character relationships? And dialogue?? And the MESSAGE????? It has a little language but overall it's super clean and you can watch it again and again and still get something new, or still enjoy it and just--AUGH PLEASE WATCH IT WE CAN GO INSANE TOGETHER BUT NO PRESSURE IF IT DOESN'T SOUND LIKE YOUR STYLE

[lyssak09]

Hello :D

I love your writings!!!!

And I love your dbd Yandere Leon x killer reader story :3 can you pls make a part two? I would love to know how it will continues :D

Thank you so much for your amazing work!!!!!!

Also have a good day :D

Of course! Your super sweet I'm so glad you like my writing. So I actually started working on a part 2 after seeing your comment. But your ask just really made me work more on it. So thank you for requesting! Also, I tried to make this as gender friendly as possible. If I messed up anywhere Im so sorry. I hope you guys enjoy it 💙

Yandere Leon with Killer! Reader pt 2

Leon is a clingy needy dude after he's yonked you from the killer's realm. So expect a lot of cuddling, no personal space, and following you everywhere you go in the apartment. 

He isn’t THAT weird, and lets you use the bathroom in peace.

You think anyway.

The best part about him following you like a puppy is the fact that you can basically make him do anything with a simple sentence. 

You could ask for water, and he will zoom over the fridge to get you some water.

Hungry?

Food has been cooked and brought to you.

You are treated like a god dang queen/king/royalty. 

As you should be.

He took you without your permission, and has been keeping you basically hostage. 

This is the least that he could do for you. 

Now, is his cooking very good?

Not really.

He is used to cooking food over a fire and, after joining The Entity’s realm, not eating at all.

If someone came to visit you guys (99.98% not gonna happen but it doesn't hurt to hope) like a friend of his, who didn’t hate him for kidnapping you, he would be giving them a death glare until they leave. Lucky for them that they're friends with Leon or else you'd have a giant mess to clean up and some laundry to do if ya catch my drift.

Btw, Leon 100% wants you to be his house spouse.

You are so missed by your friends. And are enraged and appalled that Leon has done this to you and is able to.

A lot of the killers don’t care tho, since they’ve seen much worse.

But the survivors do, they're also extra pissed he is the one who did kill them for a while as of late.

But hey, not everything was too bad. 

He let you have hobbies, as long as you were still inside of the apartment.

Like sewing.

If you were really interested in it, he would ask you to sew some of his old clothes with big holes.

“Y/N,” he would whisper, before sitting down next to you. You were just sewing up old holes in a pillow case that you found in the back of the closet, hoping to maybe get some use out of it. “Can you sew up this hole for me?"He showed you an old, black shirt with a bullet hole on the chest. “Laurie got me good with a pallet, it put a hole in my shirt, and I haven’t been able to find someone to repair it.”

If you try to stab him with the needle or scissors to skedaddle then your butt is gonna get whooped. 

"WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT?" He yelled at you while you tried to break the front door down. "To get away from you! Duh!" You replied before body slamming the door. Leon let out a string of curses as he quickly wrapped his wound with scraps of fabric from the table. Leon soon grabbed you by your waist and dragged you to the bedroom. "Damn it! Let go of me!!" You screamed and held on to the door frame of the bedroom. Leon covered your mouth and pulled you into the room. "You have no reason to scream yet." He hissed in your ear and shut the door. 

If you like reading, he would ask force ou to read to him.

“But, if the werewolf liked the girl, then why wouldn’t he keep her? Isn’t that what you’re supposed to do?” he asked. You rolled your eyes, "because the vampire one already had dibs on her. And healthy relationships don't involve kidnapping!" You told him and continued reading. "They obviously don't love her like I love you" Leon mumbled.

If you like drawing, he would ask to see what you’re drawing and he would try to make sure to get stuff for you to draw more. 

Like pencils and pens.

“What are you drawing?” He would ask, standing above you as you leaned over the table. “Is it a zombie?”

“No.”

“A cat?”

“No.”

“What is it?”

“It’s a tree.”

"Oh…"

Leon would frame and or put any drawings or doodles on the fridge.

If you have other hobbies, he would try his best to get you stuff to be able to do the things you loved. 

If he couldn’t, he would watch you and learn what you were doing.

If he had to go to a trial while you were at the house by yourself, he would lock the doors and take the key.

That way you wouldn’t be able to get out while he was gone.

While that did stop you from getting out, it did allow you some time alone without him hovering over you.

You could do whatever you pleased for the few hours that he was gone. 

Wanted to catch up on some extra sleep that got taken away from you?

Then nap time it is!

Want to draw something without him looking over your shoulder?

Freedom to draw whatever you want.

Though, you would have to hide them, since he does go through your stuff regularly.

Especially your drawing notebooks.

But remember, he had to find things that were hidden before he was forced into The Entity’s realm. 

So it won’t be easy to try and hide things from him.

Especially if he is suspicious of you hiding something.

“What did you do today?” He asked, walking through the door and plopping on the couch next to you. “Nothing much really, just took a nap and tidied up a bit.”. “Then why are the pencils out of place and why are their smudge marks on the table?” He asked, looking at you. He knew you were lying about what you were doing. “I know you were drawing.” He looked at you with an upset glare, “You don’t have to lie about what you do when I’m gone, you know I love your drawings.” He grabbed both of your hands in one of his, his other hand on your upper arm, “Where is it? I would love to see it.”. “I told you, I didn’t draw today. I tidied up, and that included moving some of the drawings I’ve already made.” You ripped your hands away from his. He started to get angry. "Why are you lying to me?" Leon yanked to towards him. "You didn't draw some boy or girl you think like like right? Because I'm the only one you can see in that way!" He was growling at this point. "Damn it Leon! I didn't draw today, and besides, is it really such a bad thing if I don't want you to see my drawings?" You were sweating now. You may or may not have drawn a hot character you had a crush on. But what's the harm in that? And aren't you allowed to have some privacy? "DON'T FUCKIN LIE TO ME!" he screamed and pinned you to the wall. You got the wind knocked outta you. "You know I don't like secrets." You stayed silent.  “I’m going to find it, even if I have to turn this whole place upside down!"

Yeah…he doesn't like secrets

Especially from you. Couples share everything right?

But if you dont draw and play games instead then maybe you get a game system or a game boy.

Or whatever you need/want for your hobbies

Anywaaays when he is forced to chill in the Killer camp he likes to ease drop on the killers and survivors who were you friends before you got yonked. (Yes you were friends with most of the survivors. You were a pretty friendly and chill killer) 

Leon started to hear rumors of him making a deal with the entity. Which wasn't wrong. But he still didn't you two to be discussed about with these asshats

He also started to hear your friends talk about plans to take you back and beat the utter crap outta our RPD boi.

But sadly for you, that's not happening. The Entity has gotten so much rage from Leon taking his anger out on his once friends. (He gets angry because someone isn't reciprocating his feelings fast enough. 

And Entity is also getting rage and despair from the survivors

To be perfectly honest, I don't think you're ever getting out. Leon's kills is more than making up for you no longer being able to do trials. So the entity is probably gonna leave you in Leon's hands. Forever

"You're mine you got that?" He hissed at you as you kicked and screamed at him to let you go. You had just tried to escape again and Leon caught you. "DO YOU UNDERSTAND?!" Leon screamed and dug his nails into your jaw, breaking the skin and causing blood to trail down your neck. You mumbled out a yes. "Good, because you're never leaving me."

—----------------------------------------------------------------------------- little fun bonus if wanted —-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

Maybe one day the Entity decided to let you guys out into the real world for a while since Leon has been so so useful as of late 

That also meant everyone could join.

Leon was pissed about this idea. He only wanted you and nobody else.

Besides, his ex-teammates aren’t probably the happiest with him

You know, killing them and all that.

Killers also didn’t really like him either.

They missed you being around the campfire with them.

But he made a deal, and The Entity was one to never let their side of the deal fail. 

Neither was Leon though.

He always kept his side of the deal.

And he wasn’t going to let anyone else come near you.

You already knew that though, and it wasn’t like you haven’t tried to bargain with The Entity either. 

But at least you could enjoy a day in the real world near your friends. 

So, yay

[mulders-too-large-shirt]

s4 episode 21 thoughts

this episode had me entirely TRANSFIXED. at no moment did i know what was going to happen next, and i badly wanted to learn!! rejoice: a skinner episode!!! where he is driven to desperation by how much he loves his agents! i truly do not think i could have asked for more!!

(okay, scully wasn't there, which is usually my number one priority... but hear me out: the episode was still SO good despite her absence, which is a testament to some HIGH QUALITY WRITING)

so!! back to my live report from approximately 24 hours ago, when i began my journey into this rollercoaster of an ep. take it away, past juni:

after last episode, i have gone through all of the emotions known to humankind. i am interested to see where we will go next, having ventured into those uncharted waters. perhaps these waters will be more… charted.

A SKINNER EPISODE!!! he’s framed for murder AGAIN??? he can’t keep being put in these circumstances bro 😭

why would skinner cover up a death caused by bees??? that seems pretty cut and dry. bees did it. nobody’s fault. unless they’re secret FBI bees the world isn’t supposed to know about…? obviously the doctor is going to say “yup, bees did it, not humans”, right?? i mean if someone dies of bee stings i assume it’s very obvious??? and that no murder charges would be filed?? because?? bees did it??

(author's note: lmao. what a fool i was)

skinner. i am ready to learn more about you. 

we open at a place that ships packages. this woman (jane) needs a cigarette. her friend (later revealed to be named misty) is telling her to quit smoking. i’m not sure that is an effective strategy.

jane runs to the bathroom and is going to smoke in there??? not even outside??? what was going ON in the 90's!!!

but oh no! some bees emerge from the bathroom sink. MANY MANY MANY BEES. someone please call that lady on tiktok that scoops hives out with her hands while whispering into the camera “another great day of saving the beeeeeeees” (god i hope she’s doing well)

bee swarm of intense proportions is going on rn. can you buy bees at the store? is that what they did for filming this? order a bunch of bees at the bee store?? huh. 

anyway, they’re approaching jane the cigarette lady very very quickly. they’re in the stall!!! she’s smacking at them!! 

but cig lady’s friend misty is getting concerned. she goes to the bathroom to fetch her friend where she finds… an empty bathroom?? free of bees. with only a smoking cigarette on the floor and DEAD JANE COVERED IN BEE STINGS!!!!!!!

WHERE DID THE BEES GO MAN!!!

dang. those bee stings are gnarly. shoutout makeup team.

skinner is looking at jane's files. why does this interest you, skinner?? why is he deleting them?? probably because he does not consider insect related cases FBI matters

WAIT! HE WASN’T ON HIS COMPUTER…. HE WAS ON MULDER’S!!!

WHAT!!! (we need to give this reveal some space to sink in)

... he knows mulder's passwords……?

skinner. WHAT are you hiding!!! i used to hate him and then i sort of liked him and then i hated him and now i am affectionate towards him. we must not begin the cycle again!!!

well, now i’m invested. 

intro time. and i'm still laughing about that tweet of scully serving three quarters profile in her badge pic

after so many shortened intros, this one felt long!!!

skinner is… leaving his house? he has a bookend that looks like an elephant. now what does that say about him… and a what looks like a buddha in the corner. IS this his house??? buddhist skinner confirmed?

he’s taking off a “do not enter” sign and going into the bathroom where the bee incident went down, armed with just a flashlight. and he finds the cigarette, which he flushes. he’s cleaning the bathroom floor with a portable vacuum!! WHAT DOES HE KNOW!!!!!!!

i’m literally soooo invested, i’m not even joking. his ass is on his hands and knees SCRUBBING. what has brought assistant director skinner to this forbidden janitorial work!?!

this is very dark though, screen wise. had to up the brightness. 

he finds something oozing from the ceiling. and he sniffs it before wiping it away. gross. is it honey? weird neon honey?

now he’s picking the lock of the MORGUE!!!!!!! is he gonna steal jane’s body??!!!!!! bro what the HELL!!!!

someone in the coroner’s office hears a distant thud and almost finds him TAKING HER BODY!!!!!!!!! it seems he narrowly escaped!!! he hid around the corner and took jane with him…. to a very weird place. he’s climbing up a ladder. is it an incinerator? 

bro, he must be strong as hell. anyway, he takes her body and places it in a fire. 

my guess is that somehow she was contaminated with secret bee poison and he needs to make sure no one else gets sick from it????? by incinerating the body?? but that doesn’t do anything about the bees themselves??

he’s at the police station now, asking about jane. HE GIVES HIS NAME AS MULDER????? he has a fake badge and everything… omg do NOT get my boy in trouble!!

the policeman shows him a vial of blood from jane, which he replaces with a vial from his own pocket, and wipes the pen he took. ohhhh what is going on!!!!!!

so now he’s going back to his car with the blood. but someone runs out to see him!!! calling “agent mulder”!

it’s the detective who emailed the pictures to the REAL mulder!!! he somehow knows that mulder is part of the x files (which i feel shouldn't be information random people should know) but skinner is trying to say that nothing here warrants his involvement. 

he is deeply suspicious. but someone is watching him!!!!!!!! who is this mystery fellow watching this go down????

skinner is get undressed at 3:55 AM. and it IS his house with the elephant and the buddha!!!

SKINNER FOLLOWS THE FOUR NOBLE TRUTHS AND THE EIGHTFOLD PATH, LET'S GOOOO 🔥🔥🔥

(that is a more interesting interpretation than him keeping a buddha around as decor, but hey, pick your headcanon as you please)

and who shows up but REAL MULDER!!!! AT 4 AM??? BRO WHAT IS HE DOING?? he should be on his couch!!!! sleeping!!

he has been trying to reach skinner…. OHHHH HE CLOCKED RIGHT AWAY THAT THERE IS A COVERUP!!!

and the detective was SHOT AND KILLED!!!! 

(my friend called me at this point to tell me that liam payne died. this has absolutely no relevance on the episode, but it did lead to me pausing for a half hour to share this news with others. and it would feel inappropriate to not include it in the write up)

mulder knows someone forged his name at the lab and he just wants skinner’s help!!

NO!!! SCULLY IS IN THE HOSPITAL SO SHE CAN’T HELP…. HER DOCTOR SAYS HER TUMOR MIGHT BE METASTASIZING… NO NO NO not my poor sweet scully...

no scully this episode…. this is sad :(

skinner is doubly gagged…… maybe even triply gagged between the revelation of the detective being killed, mulder being onto him, and scully being in the hospital. he is flabbergasted, one might even say. 

he’s going somewhere in very tight pants. someone tries to hit him with a car?!?

IT’S CSM!!!! and the guy from before who was watching the exchange with the detective go down!!!!!! 

ohhhh skinner has GRABBED him by the collar and is yelling that he MURDERED him!!! but CSM says to keep his voice down

“i wouldn’t get too comfortable on your moral high ground, mr. skinner. this only happened because you left your job unfinished” <- hey WHAT DOES THAT MEAN??

(i’ve said it before and i’ll say it again… CSM’s voice is so soothing. tell me a story, scary man)

skinner says that he has followed CSM’s instructions…. and when skinner points out that the detective didn’t have to die, he says that he is “in no position to question the terms of our arrangement”

is this the deal he negotiated with to try and save scully???? and is it even working if she’s in the hospital right now??

he tries to say they have no arrangement and walk away, but CSM basically says well, i’ll have my bestie here kill you. and so skinner saunters off in his very tight pants, defeated. 

he wakes up on the couch to a phone ringing. and it’s mulder saying that jane's body was stolen, and all the evidence has been cleaned. “slow down” “i’m sorry sir, but i can’t” <- his brain was in overdrive!!

mulder figured out the replacement blood wasn’t jane's because she has a different folate serum level and skinner seems to be cursing himself for such a mistake. a good catch on mulder's part.

he has one lead, and it’s the make of the gun. but skinner realizes something… his gun isn’t in his desk!!! WHAT!! NO NO NOOOOOO

he calls CSM and growls that “you can’t do this”…….  he says that the man died so skinner could have what he wanted… what does that mean…

A CURE FOR AGENT SCULLY??????

WHAT!!!!

what does that have to do with the bees!!!

“if anything happens to her, i will expose you” <- OHHHH HE IS NOT MESSING AROUND!!! he said i'll get us both thrown in prison if you fuck with my agents!!!!

“i don’t care what happens to me” <- OHHHH MY GOD I’M RIPPING OFF MY SHIRT IN BIBLICAL LEVELS OF GRIEF. he loves her.

“agent scully stands to live a full and healthy life. i would hope the same for you, mr. skinner” <- no no no no no. please don’t kill him. please? for me?

(this made me picture a world without skinner and it was very sad. do not make me imagine this ever again. i won't stand for it)

this episode has me HOOKED!!!!!

back at the shipping warehouse, skinner is being led to the restroom. the bee incident only went down yesterday!!!! he finds more of the yellow goop… and says he needs a hammer

he’s beating the hell out of that wall and finds it filled with honeycomb!! but this is probably EVIL honeycomb, right?

why yes, of course. he brings some of the evil honey to someone in maryland with a very cool in-house lab. oh, to be a maryland scientist with an incredible laboratory in the home that i own, because homes were plentiful in those days.

would it help to know that this bee can kill people? “any kind of bee can be lethal” <- well that is not super helpful in this particular case. nor is this fact comforting.

when it seems all hope is lost, bee scientist man finds some royal jelly and a larvae!! so hopefully soon they will have some answers. and now i know what royal jelly is.

oh, turns out 6 months ago mulder called the same guy asking about killer bees… well, he is always up to such activity. he was probably also calling a marine biologist about the loch ness monster. he keeps those DMV area professors BUSY

(author's note: now knowing what this is referring to, i think it is so fascinating to place s4 within a timeline of 6 months!!!!)

skinner is going through the x files folders down in mulder's office. and why the hell does one say “foo fighters” in the background!!! has the FBI finally found what the foo that they are fighting is???

OH!!! he finds the pictures of the child clones working in the honey farm!!! from earlier!! i was wondering if we were ever going to revisit that!!

he sees covarrubias' number on there so he starts to call her… omg…

(i have never seen one of those big rolly things of contact lists before)

but just as he is about to call, mulder walks in!!! he has pictures of the parking lot from the night of the Event… pictures that show a very blurry skinner that he cannot recognize AS skinner, but he’s going to take them over to special photo department, and oh no. oh no.

mulder asks what skinner wanted to tell him and he scrambles to just say he wanted to check on his progress… and i cannot tell if mulder believes him or not

skinner calls covarrubias about the bees. and she has to tell him that there was no bee evidence at all. so skinner counters with: well what if *i* have the bees??? well, then that would change things.

covarrubias is really pretty. while i may not like that she basically became deep throat 3.0, she is very pretty

bee scientist comes home to find all the lights out!!!!! his lights are covered in bees!!! it seems they broke through!!! no no no no!!! they cover his windows!! and he is being swarmed….. 

a terrible (or perhaps fitting) end for a man of bee science

mulder calls skinner down to show him the body of the bee scientist. and he had symptoms of SMALLPOX???? they put the smallpox in the BEES???? oh my god. new worst nightmare just dropped.

skinner wants to know how he contracted a disease that no longer exists, and yes, it did in fact come from the bees.

mulder thinks that someone is trying to revive the world’s deadliest disease!! oh my god!! how does this relate to the aliens???? i thought i knew at one point but now i don’t!! 

skinner asks mulder to tell him what he finds when he goes over to the photo department…

back at the shipping warehouse, skinner is talking to misty, jane’s friend. she clearly knows something but isn’t saying it. jane was misty’s best friend. and they were trying to go on vacation together. </3

OH. THE MEN WHO CAME THERE SAID IF THEY TALKED TO ANYONE SHE WOULD LOSE HER JOB….. they wanted a package!!!!! a damaged package!!

and it was stored right next to the bathroom where jane was found?!!

shipping bees… package gets damaged… bees get loose… smallpox bees everywhere… very bad very bad…

luckily, she can look up the tracking number!!!

back at the photo lab, someone who is not pendrell but looks like him is working on the photo. and mulder says that it is very important to him.

oh, his sad sad face as he realizes who it is…. like somebody punched a baby in front of him.

back at the alien groupchat meeting!! (again i think they’re called the syndicate?? i googled something once and that came up)

CSM is showing them the last remaining bee, saying all others were destroyed. and the body has been sanitized. CSM tries to say it has been taken care of. but the others want answers on what went down. 

“should we presume that the trial run is proceeding as planned?” “it’s already begun” <- HEY WHAT DOES THAT MEAN…… and why is the next shot KIDS ON A PLAYGROUND………… with a BEE BUZZING……….

kid gets stung by a bee…… as a ton of other kids ALSO get stung by bees!!!!!!! no!! not the kids!!!!

one kid trips and falls, and when the teacher tries to save him, she is swarmed!!!!!!! and the little kid has horrible marks all over him!!!! as do the other kids!!!!

skinner is here at this hospital to see what is going on… and he tells the doctor that the kids need to be treated for smallpox. this does not go over well with the doctor!!! he says that not only is smallpox no longer around, but it has an 8 day incubation period. well okay. i guess. things have changed.

covarrubias is here!! hold up is her name MARITA and i’ve been getting it wrong this whole time?! editing this post to refer to her by last name instead. i cannot tell if that is a subtitle error or the Truth. i’m sorry miss covarrubias. coh-vah-roo-bee-us.

she called asking about the contents of 7 packages sent to south carolina!!

“you’re a little late to do anything about it” “so are you, apparently” <- ohhh get his ass

she asks wtf is going on, and that she needs to tell the UN so don’t mess around. he hypothesizes that it’s an experiment using bees as carriers for disease. and when skinner says he hasn’t told mulder, she straight up asks if he’s involved OHHHH!! but he denies it. 

she says he has to come forward…..

back home. he starts to dial a number but stops, pulling his gun (which is now back in his desk!) out

AND OHHHHH MY GOD MULDER IS HERE AT SKINNER'S PLACE. “PUT THE GUN DOWN AND MOVE AWAY FROM THE DESK” <-OHHHH NO. IT’S GOING DOWN. 

ugh this is gonna be a two parter, isn’t it… i had a sneaking suspicion 

(it actually wasn't. but you can't blame me there. it was looking pretty close)

OHHHHHHH MULDER WENT THERE…. “you’ve been working with the smoking man all along. you knew when they had my father killed, and you knew when they took scully” <- OHHH MY GOD. his rage is barely contained and he looks like a damn animal.

skinner points out that the lock in his desk was forced open, why would he force his own lock open? and that the police are probably on their way right now. 

oh my gosh… i’m holding my breath… is mulder going to believe him? will skinner tell the truth?

“i advised you against a certain course of action some time ago concerning agent scully. i didn’t follow my own advice” <- oh my god........... the confession.............

he was willing to admit to making a deal with the devil for scully... does she know how loved she is...?

mulder gets quiet and says “give me the gun” <- WHAT IS HE THINKING? 

someone is firing it into some water? i guess that is how you figure out what the murder weapon is. and the guy says he is absolutely certain this is it.

mulder says they find it in a sewer grate around the corner (but for a moment i fully believed he was going to say it was his). the expert guy breaks the news that unless forensics pulled a print, it’s untraceable because the serial number was cleared off.

skinner leaves at this news. he almost smiles, and i wondered if the expert was going to call him out on such odd behavior. and from there, he goes to meet CSM. 

ohhhhh he has the gun to CSM's head!!! “agent scully is dying and you haven’t done a damn thing about it” <- HOLY SHIT!!! CSM’s smirking…. the right bastard

he claims that if skinner kills him, he’ll also kill scully… and that he had saved her life before when he had her returned to mulder.

“but you’ll never know if you pull the trigger, will you?” <- OHHHHHH MY GOD. is he bluffing or not!!!!! how would he have a way to cure her beyond letting one of the aliens he keeps on hold touch her???

SKINNER FIRES THREE SHOTS??????? DID HE SAY FUCK IT AND KILL HIM. IS THIS THE END OF CSM?????

NO. they were JUST behind his head. oh the tension was THICK.

message received. i hope. whoever is on the phone is asking about skinner, saying mulder will be contacting them soon.

it's covarrubias????? she says she’ll tell him what CSM wants her to tell him. WHAT!!!!!

“tell him what he wants to hear” <- HEY WHAT. IS HE GOING TO LIE AND SAY SCULLY IS OKAY????

thus concludes the episode.

I HAVE A LOT OF THOUGHTS.

okay, first of all, covarrubias works for CSM. i feel silly for not picking up on that because we KNEW she works for the UN, famously the host of the alien groupchat parties, but i didn't even put it together at all. but just because she works for him doesn't really mean anything, because deep throat and x also nominally worked for him. to what extent is still unclear- maybe they did everything on his orders, stringing mulder along to keep him distracted from learning the truth- or maybe there were aspects of corruption they felt were "safe" to be exposed and lead him along the path for this deeper trap that CSM is laying for him. so we cannot make a covarrubias moral judgement just yet- but we also know we cannot trust her.

next. skinner loves his agents so much, dude. willing to kill AND die for scully to be okay... please think on this for a moment. and then think about it some more. how he told mulder to never make a deal with the devil, then did it himself even though he has so much to lose as the assistant director. and for the rest of his life he'll have to live with knowing he assisted in his murky and horrific plans, including infecting children with the world's deadliest diseases, because he could not stand to lose scully.

there are many kinds of love, some of which are complex and indescribable and cannot be inserted into conventional roles, and i think that is exactly what is going on here. the incalculable love for skinner and his agents.

okay. and mulder trusting skinner SO ABSOLUTELY. showing up at his apartment at 4 AM to ask for help. offering to take out the trash, and the constant updates he provided him on the case. the way his face FELL when he realized it was skinner in the photo. and how he came to believe that skinner knew about or was perhaps even behind the calls to kill his father and kidnap scully. how betrayed and horrified he was. how he must have recalled his mantra of "trust nobody", how he must have been kicking himself for falling into a false sense of security for a man who risked so much for them, but must have, in his mind, been luring him deeper and deeper into a trap. imagine all of that grief about scully being abducted and then getting sick and the loss of his father being placed at skinner's feet. mulder, who never for a second doubted that skinner was innocent in his earlier brush with the law. imagine how incredibly painful that "realization" would have been. and then how he wanted so badly to believe him, but after so many betrayals, it would take more than just a scratched desk for him to do so. but he does. god.

there is an addictive substance placed between the relationships of skinner to mulder and scully. something almost familiar. something almost entirely unspoken except for in a foundational and silent trust.

this episode was really, really good. probably my favorite of the season! i was trying to figure out what exactly was going on and why. it really raised the stakes for skinner, mulder, AND scully in a bunch of different directions: skinner being in CSM's pocket, covarrubias being in CSM's pocket, mulder believing her as she feeds him lies, scully's illness getting worse... whew!

more than anything i love to see the trust between characters tested and pulled, and their bonds put to the limits. so i am very pleased. i will likely be thinking of mulder's animalistic rage as he held the gun to skinner's face for a long, long time. and how skinner quietly admitted to doing what he told mulder not to. by jove. an excellent piece of television.

[noobsomeexagerjunk]

Aypiere and Quackity are talking!

Around 30-40 minutes in Aypierre's stream; some significant points:

Quackity is cleaning up the airplane debris and plans to build a structure there (a Mexican or a French one)

Aypierre suggests a replica of the Arc de Triomphe to fill in the space in the wall

Aypierre hands Quackity shit, to his delight

The two discuss the potentiality of Aypierre being a candidate

Quackity says he wants to hold back for the event

Aypierre believes he and the rest of the French members will be competitive about it

Quackity gives some reminders about the delivery of the manual

Quackity and Aypierre have some cultural exchanges. The constant protesting in France is real. They compare French and Mexican drinking behavior.

They begin talking about America and some cultural observations they have with it. Aypierre finds America very friendly.

Aypierre mentions his streaming schedule and kids! This reminded Quackity of dealing with Luzu's own schedule.

Quackity talked about a culture shock moment in Spain regarding the auto-ticketing of cars. He then proceeds to rant about America's car culture.

"Los Angeles is nothing like the movies,"

Quackity reminisces of his childhood visits to San Francisco

(Dang Aypierre has been to America that many times???)

Quackity proposes they go drinking together at some point

Quackity praises California weather

The two discuss being able to speak English for travel + the implications of accents

Quackity starts ranting about LA traffic

Quackity is shocked learn that one can take a 2 hour train ride from France to London

Quackity asks Aypierre to compare London to Paris—Aypierre thinks British girls are prettier but French food is better

They discuss American food. There are some good stuff but they note how processed it can be.

Quackity reminisces about Mexican food upon being asked about it by Aypierre

The two build dick statues out black wool (?) and white quartz (?)

Aypierre places down the Make Love, Not War picture he has, baffling Quackity

Quackity shows Aypierre pictures of his places/houses in the server

Aypierre has placed down an image of himself cooking

Quackity shows Aypierre a picture of his younger self

They discuss Andorra—Quackity shows Aypierre a picture of himself in Andorra

They are discussing towns with silly names, like Montcuq

Quackity is straight up showing Aypierre cursed pictures of himself

B O O B S

Aypierre dropped down a picture of beef (and I am now hungry it is almost my dinner time)

Quackity accidently poked his eye IRL

Quackity admits to having a phobia of airplane bathrooms

He drew in paint to help explain why

asskiss

Quackity, during a first class flight, held in his shit for 13 hours due to his fear of airplane bathrooms

"It was like an orgasm?" "Better than an orgasm!"

Quackity talks about roadtrip stopovers

Bad whispers to Aypierre if he could place a warp in his factory. Aypierre said yes!

(Quackity you gotta help unravel the biases Aypierre has gotten about Mexico my man just assumed kids do coke in the bathroom during recess) <- Quackity does this

(Yikes Q-man people take pictures in the bathroom like that???)

They are now talking about vulnerability in the act of defecation

Quackity starts praising toilets in Amsterdam

Between me and Quackity, one of us is wrong when it comes to pronouncing "bidet"

Eyy squatting toilets! (I encountered one of those during a trip to Beijing and I hated them so much god)

More is happening right now but I gotta stop liveblogging (Quackity is showing a picture of tacos!)

[afreakingdork]

Weak Spot - Chapter 53

RotTMNT Donatello x Reader

That's going in the locket: chapter art by @garbagemilkshake

Warnings: Aged-up Turtles, Romance, Meet Cute, Villain Donatello, Cussing, Crushes, Xenophobia, Fear, Intimidation, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Hurt/Comfort, Love, AFAB Reader, Vaginal Sex, Sex Rough, Sex, Penis In Vagina Sex, Creampie, Teasing, Scent Kink, Sexual Tension, Breeding Kink, Multiple Orgasms, Cunnilingus, Fellatio, Marathon Sex, Somnophilia, Bondage, Feral Behavior, Feral Donatello, Mating Cycles/In Heat, Public Sex, Dom Donnie, Human/Turtle Relationships, Turtle Noises, Roleplay, Sexual Roleplay

Synopsis:  A love story of villainous proportions! Though it hadn’t come easily, as these things rarely do, you found yourself in a whirlwind romance with a handsome and mysterious mutant. His idiosyncrasies had been easy to ignore as attraction grew into something more. However, will love endure when the unknowns about him end up being far darker than you ever considered?

We talked about it all the way in August, but making creative use of Donnie's glasses has finally come to fruition! Shout out to @hijinxensues for giving me the idea even though it sort of deviated wildly...

Fem!Reader References/Warnings Below Cut

Also available on Ao3

First 💜 Previous

LAST WARNING FOR THE 🍋 UNDER THE CUT. MINORS DNI!

Fem!Reader References/Warnings: slit, lips (labia kind), clit, womb, impregnation discussion, cunt, ovulation, and pregnancy scare

Scrubbing through the gentle smell of grapefruit, you were deep cleaning the kitchen. Having taken everything off the counters, it wasn’t a lengthy process. The space wasn’t large and it was probably due for this treatment more often. Donnie had some sort of machine that kept everything a base level of tidy, but there was something about getting it clean yourself.

Having someone there to pass the time with while doing it also helped tremendously.

“I’m not even his point of contact!” You huffed, polishing the faucet.

Donnie clicked his tongue.

“So now he’s imprinted on me like a baby duck and needs so much damn attention.” You hunched over the sink and blew out an annoyed breath. “That’s not how any of this works!”

“The joys of working with others.” You felt Donnie roll his eyes.

“Yeah…” Rinsing what was available down, you watched the suds go down the drain. “Got any fun Spencer stories?”

“Not in your sense.”

“You ever try to get rid of him?” You wiped up some escaped droplets.

“No.”

“That’s sort of surprising. It seemed like he drove you nuts.” Leaning back, you looked over your work.

“His disposition is not one I care for, but he is effective.”

“Gets the job done?” You turned around and studied the stove for stray particulates.

“Quite.”

“Guess who else does?” You turned and made a great show of plucking one of your gloves off.

In his spot on the couch, Donnie had long rotated his whole body to watch you. Very much in the position of an excited child, he had both his elbows craned to the armrest and supporting his head. With his noggin lolled ever so slightly to one side, he had been in nearly this same position since you started cleaning.

“Have you been watching me the whole time?” You stripped your other glove and approached.

“Yes.”

“Did I miss a spot?”

“Three.”

You doubled back to the kitchen. “Dang, where?”

“Top right of the microwave, door above the trash, and the backsplash tile one up and three to the right from the right front burner knob.”

Acute instructions, you made quick work of finding the exact dirt that had been left behind.

You heard him hum a satisfied sound.

“I’ll get you a white glove next time.” You teased, walking over a second time.

“I’ve seen that, for dust.”

“Yup.” You debated throwing your hip onto the armrest just to knock him off.

“Not a germaphobe.” He reminded you.

“Just cleanly…” You mused, remembering just the way he’d said it before you realized how it seemingly contradicted this moment. “Then why are you judging me?”

“Presumptuous.”

You narrowed your gaze. “I’d like to take my question again.

He arched an interested brow.

You squared your hips before folding over to catch the couch on either side of his arms and stare right into his face. “Then why are you watching me?”

The sprouted smile on his lips said you chose well.

You tilted your head to wait.

“Enjoying the show.”

You snorted upright. “Really?”

He nodded matter-of-factly.

Looking down at yourself, you were wearing a particularly aged set of pajamas that you didn’t mind if a stray drop of bleach got onto it. Face coated in only moisturizer, you’d barely remembered to slap deodorant on. This version of you was made for staying in and tidying up. “Uh huh…”

“Do you disagree?”

“With what?” You chuckled. “I can’t really judge what you want to pay attention to!” 

A flick of his pupils read thought. “I’ll take a second.”

You went to put the cleaning supplies away. “Go ahead.”

“Do you need reassurance?”

You bobbed where you were tossing stuff under a cabinet. “For my self-esteem? No, no. Your taste confuses me sometimes.”

“I appreciate looks just for me.”

Closing the cabinet, you lifted with a crease in your lips. “I’m sorry to say I didn’t get all dolled up for you. This fit has seen many cleaning days.”

“Done in your home.”

“I guess…” You went about putting things back on the counters.

“For comfort and yourself.”

“That’s pretty much what I said…” You placed the rice cooker.

“Ergo, a personal look.”

“Sure.” You shook your head, not seeing his point.

“Only for you, happenstance for me.”

You took a step towards him, but didn’t leave the threshold of the kitchen. “You’re saying you like it because it’s only for me, but you get to peek behind the curtain since we live together?”

His snout twitched as he hadn’t liked your wording. “In a way.”

“Stolen moments that should be for me?” You tried something in his flavor.

A lift of brows said it was savored.

“You voyeur you!” You feigned a scandalous gasp and headed around the perimeter to see if anything needed dusting.

You heard the couch cushions shift as he openly tracked you.

“Not bad…” You peeked around the back of the TV to find it tidy. “I guess that was it since I did the bathroom a few days ago.”

Donnie didn’t make a sound and you circled the couch just to see how far he’d go. In your periphery, you watched him turn all the way around until he was looking over the back of the sofa at you.

“Smell check.” You approached him and held out a hand.

His head lowered, but his gaze sat narrowly into your eyes. “Satisfactory.”

“Your new cleaning solution is a hit then.”

“Already passed to marketing.”

You hummed faint interest and purposefully headed into the bedroom.

You felt him at a nervous attention behind you.

“Might change…” You spoke and tried to keep your voice even.

Silence bore into your back.

“Kinda restless…” You pretended to mourn your day off and headed out of his sight toward the dresser.

Within seconds, his presence chased you.

Sensing he’d stopped, you spun around with fake claws out. “Gotcha!”

He didn’t jump, but made a little curious trill at your act.

“You’re not just watching, you’re staring!”

He rolled his eyes to the ceiling and then back down to you as if he didn’t know what you were talking about.

“You’re avoiding talking because I’ll catch one of your terrible lies.” You hung your head to one knowledgeable side.

Caught with a soft squeak, he puffed his cheeks out guilty before returning his gaze to you.

“Now that I’m thinking about it, even this morning: when I woke up you were already there looking at me.”

He sighed, put out. “Memory.”

You tilted your head in wait.

You watched the move strike him as adorable and he had to shake off its subduing quality.

Your smile grew especially fond.

He gave a sharp exhale to recompose himself before looking you over. “It appears our puppy love phase is beginning to pass.”

“What!?”

He held up a hand. “From what I’ve read, that is how these things progress. The names are inexact, but it gives away to mature love. I only wish to encapsulate this moment.”

You stared.

“There are benefits to both, but the change has made me unsettled among other things…” His gaze slid to the side. “I do not want things to remain the same, but I’m struggling with the rapid pace.”

In a single step, you were buried into his torso.

He stood with his arms out to accommodate you before tenting his limbs around you. “I do not require consolation.”

You shook your head, scrubbing into his plastron. “I disagree.”

He squeezed your shoulder in a fold. “No, I feel relatively stable. I would only prefer to continue my vigil.”

“Not that.” You lifted enough so your chin was still buried in his chest, but you could look up at him. “I still have a massive crush on you.”

He blinked down his body at you, eyes wide.

“Obviously I don’t know what the future holds with us, but, right now, I’m living it up. I have you, life’s been going well, I’m terrified to jinx it, but I’m happy.”  

“Paramount...” He spoke with softness and traced a careful finger against your head.

You ducked and spoke into his plastron. “Also, there’s no restrictions on our love. I’m not sure what you read, but there should have been something about everyone being different.”

You felt him nod.

“What triggered this?” You appeared only to check on him. “Mikey?”

Donnie put on what almost seemed like a face plate of disgust.

You squeezed him tighter.

“I’d prefer you to note Hypno. Once is a coincidence, twice however”

“How I’ve been texting new people?”

“It sets a record of seeking companionship in others as mine isn’t as alluring.” He forced himself to watch you even though his cheeks took on color.

“Silly man.” You freed him so you could pull him down.

He came with ease and butted up against your head.

You held him in place to furiously nuzzle him until he gave a relenting puff of laughter. “Friends are different and you have no reason to be jealous.”

“I’m not.” He pulled back enough to look you sternly in the eye. “Removing how I would never consider those two threats in that regard, I don’t consider it such.”

“Then what is it?”

He hummed. “Not self-loathing, but that I might no longer have the same command of intrigue.”

You paused and looked away through recent memories before returning. “Because you’ve let me top? Because you’re running out of secrets?”

His cheeks turned several more shades and his lips quivered into an upset line.

“Donatello…”

He surfaced a little at the use of his full name.

“I love you.” You found his cheek and brushed it. “There’s no grand reveal. You’ll never run out of new things for me to find interesting about you. I’ll never know everything because we’re different people and we’re always changing and growing. Just like how you keep finding things out about yourself.”

You watched him process the information with a growing gleam to his eye. Washed out by it, he gave a quick screwed shut close before his lips parted. “I…”

Your heart bypassed whatever stop point was in your throat and seemed to only be caught by your skull.

“I…” He tried again, taking a deep breath.

You hadn’t told him.

You hadn’t mentioned you knew he was practicing.

That lately you’d forced yourself to stay awake every night to hear his exercise in confessions.

“Lo-“ His entire being twitched and unsteady hands caught your arms to hold on.

You shifted to hold his biceps and resisted with your entire being to interrupt him.

He knew.

He knew he didn’t have to.

You didn’t need to remind him.

He needed this chance.

Twine breaking, he wilted with an exhale that kept going on and on.

You slid past his arm to rub his carapace, soothingly. “I love you.”

“Making fun.” He tucked into your throat before nosing to your mating mark.

“Am not.” You leaned your head against his.

He snorted his disagreement and kissed through your shirt to his possession.

“You did good. I’m proud of you.”

“That must be ridicule.” He extracted himself and huffed to the air.

“I’m not!” You bumped him with your weight.

He looked down with a certain level of mirth.

“You know…” You led, tilting down before realizing you weren’t wearing it. “Can I…?”

He released you with a sweeping gesture.

You gave a similarly played up bow before going to grab your necklace. “I’ve never been able to decide on a picture for this.”

“We’ve taken many.”

“And they’re good, but not like… good enough!” You pouted and thumbed over the item so it would open. “I thought of maybe snipping off part of your mask tails while you were sleeping.”

He chuffed into a chuckle.

“They're a dime a dozen though. You’ve got tons.” You sighed. “Getting professional photos could be fine. We should get some sometime, but that’s not what I want for this.”

“Is this one of those ‘you’ll know it when you see it’ type of situation?”

“Yes!” You turned to him with a tinkling as the locket swung in your grasp.

“Not professional…?” He folded his hand over his chin and lips in thought.

“It’s gotta be candid. I wish I could have caught one of those laughs of yours!”

“Shall we discuss a trade with S.H.E.L.L.D.O.N. for security footage?”

Your gaze dulled. “Not this again.”

Donnie mirrored you. “He has yet to relent.”

Ever since getting his new body, S.H.E.L.L.D.O.N. had been having a blast shoving his way into society. Something you happily indulged in as his joy seemingly knew no bounds, it was his current route that neither you nor Donnie wanted to partake in. While he considered himself a New Yorker in a literal born and bred sort of sense, he lamented particular parts of the city he supposedly missed. No matter how much his father or you tried to persuade him otherwise, he couldn’t get the thought out of his head.

He wanted to act like a tourist and go through the quintessential New York City spots.

Time’s Square was a useless blinking beacon that offered absolutely nothing by way of a local.

S.H.E.L.L.D.O.N. reveled in the thought of the grime and gawk.

The beauty of the Empire State building was best seen from a distance.

Even with the funds to skip the line, S.H.E.L.L.D.O.N. insisted the two minutes enjoying the view would be worth it.

The only real unbelievable thing about Madame Tussauds was the stale smell.

S.H.E.L.L.D.O.N. figured this was his only chance to get a photo with a famous person.

“I keep telling him I’ll do Junior’s and that’s it.” You grumbled.

“Why he continues to want to go to restaurants is beyond me.” Donnie looked close to leaving his body.

“We’re not doing that.”

“Never.”

You cracked a smile at the camaraderie and moved to plop down on the bed with your necklace still in hand. “Hey, Mr. Voyeur.”

“Rejected pseudonym.”

You chuckled. “They were your cameras first right?”

“Yes.” He lazily approached.

“Have you always liked to watch?”

His gaze narrowed with faint ire. “It’s not about watching. It’s about knowledge.”

“Except with me. Right now.”

“Memory is a form of knowledge.” He argued.

“I’m saying…” You leaned out, biting your tongue lightly at the precarious nature and tried to tap him with your foot. “You want to watch and I want a candid pic of you.”

He stepped close enough so your toe would connect with his leg. “New cameras?”

“Not for forever, I’m still not completely okay with the ones watching us here. Something… I don’t know… Maybe a 24 hour thing? Could be fun. Pretend we’re on a reality TV show.”

Donnie’s beak scrunched.

“Candid!” You complained, letting your leg drop. “Don’t act… Oh! I know…” You lowered your lids and beckoned him.

He came with an unimpressed air.

You urged him to kneel and he did so with a kiss pressed to your knee.

Flushing lightly, you dipped your fingers under his chin.

“How about this? The footage will be yours to do with as you wish. Every second…” With a purse of your lips you coaxed him closer. “No matter what we do…”

You watched his pupils adjust as he considered the possibility. “Clarification: you’re suggesting we make a sex tape?”

Your digits twitched away from him and your cheeks darkened. “Not on purpose, but if it happens during that time period…”

“If that’s allowed, it will occur.” A faint churr husked his voice

“It is.”

You were pinned with him hovering above you before you could blink. “But what you’re offering…”

You stared up at him with your heart thudding out your chest. “You miss me a lot while I’m at work, don’t you?”

A possessive churr rolled out of him as he dropped to kiss you into the mattress.

You allowed him and meant for the moment to extend except he hoisted himself up and away. “You confirm this?”

“Yes.” You tugged lightly at his arms.

He only gave you a wry glance. “Save it. Can we commence tomorrow?”

You threw your head back knowing you’d already lost him to science. “How? You already have cameras?”

“No, but a simple build. If I start now, I can have at least five done by the end of day.”

“Five?!”

“Angles!” He cheered, extracting himself from the bed. “Free roving, covert, but with a certain level of intelligence…”

He continued to list factors and you sighed with a little needy wiggle into the sheets.

-

As promised, before bed you were introduced to five small purple UFOs. All hovering silently and barely as big as baseballs, their flying saucer like bases were topped with tiny domes that Donnie explained housed cameras with a full range of motion. Something about focal lengths and zooms, the camera jargon went over your head as you took a step. The entire army turned with your attention and you wondered what you had gotten yourself into.

“When fully active they will attempt to stay out of sight.” Donnie continued on, nonplussed.

“What are they set to right now?” You waved your hand at one to see if you could notice camera movement.

It betrayed little.

“Demonstration.” Donnie mused. “Shall I start them so you can see?”

“No, that’s… that’s alright.”

“Having second thoughts?” He stepped forward with a cautious guard.

“Huh?” You looked at him. “No, I just… It’s strange, your creations usually have so much life.”

Donnie’s brow furrowed.

“B.E.D.F.A.S.T. has a personality. Even the entire system under Darling Protocol seems sassy like you.”

Though it made little sense to him, he settled at your explanation. “They are me.”

“Yeah…” You stepped close to the camera bots and held out a hand to take one.

It came so you cradle it like a floating balloon just above your palm. The others rotated to monitor their brethren.

“It’s hard to describe, but I’m not getting much off these guys.”

Donnie stepped up to your side. “They’re rudimentary. Little directive.”

You hummed faint interest and reached above with your other hand to touch the bot.

It dodged you only enough to back into a formation of sorts.

“Oops…”

“They’re protecting their shells from fingerprints.” Donnie explained, intently watching you. “Are you sure this is alright?”

“Yes.” You let your arms fall. “I’m all in. I’m also wondering how it’ll feel, being watched all day.”

“Precisely why you won’t see them. It’ll be as if they aren’t there.”  

You quirked a smile, still staring at the squad. “You better not play up your reactions.”

“Wouldn’t dream of it.” Donnie murmured, getting close. “I’m sure you’ll get your photo.”

You settled into his touch. “Start the clock before we wake up.”

“Oh?” He rumbled into the shell of your ear.

You nodded. “Can’t wait to show you how you toss and turn.”

He snorted minor irritation and you chased after him in jest.

-

You sort of thought it was going to be a bigger thing. Waking before Donnie in what you imagined was anticipation, you kept waiting for it to be. You’d risen slowly and rubbed your eyes in a way you imagined happened in cartoons. Too aware of yourself for your own good, you examined the empty expanse of the apartment. True to his words, you didn’t see the cams, but that didn’t mean you hadn’t spent most of the morning trying to capture them.

Spinning around without warning and jumping across thresholds, you’d even flicked water everywhere while washing your face to try to catch a glimpse of one. All for nothing and with a minor scolding from Donnie, you slowly forgot they were there around the point the two of you had planned a lunch in the park. Something where you purchased a packed lunch from a local shop that specializes in it, your partner laid out a thick blanket of his design. Something that would supposedly deter bugs, had waterproof layering, and was downy against the cold grass. The weather was shiny and bright, if not chilly, but comfortable as you shared a thermos.

The ensuing walk afterwards had been something particularly cute after you found some stray leaves lined up on a bridge. Remembering something from your childhood, you wove a couple into a tiny vessel and dropped it down to the water. Landing a little on its side, the leaf raft righted itself to float. Turning your excitement on Donnie, you were soon going back and forth creating boats until some children joined in. Encouraging them along, one in particular stared at Donnie.

Not unaccustomed to that type of attention, Donnie had tried to urge the child to return to his friend, but the kid only hugged a toy he was lugging around closer. Your boyfriend looked to you for help, but you were busy supervising two other boys who seemed to be looking for an excuse to quarrel. Donnie soon relented by stooping to the boy’s level in more ways than one and asking him if there was something he wanted.

The child thought it over for a minute before holding his toy out.

Donnie received it with a furrowed brow and watched on, growing more perplexed as the kid then spun around to join his friends in making leaf boats.

Turning the bulky action figure over, Donnie sought you with his eyes.

You met them and signed to him to keep it safe.

Realizing he’d been chosen for such a heroic mission touched your mate.

Hitting some fierce part inside of him, he showed great care in executing his task and it was only then you remembered the cameras. Pleading that they had captured the expression on his face when he’d seen the truth of the matter, you watched Donnie dote on the toy until the boys lost interest. The figure was returned to its rightful owner and with some half-hearted thank yous, the two of you were on your own once again.

Strolling around a winding path, you caught Donnie checking his palms a few times.

“Was it sticky?” You asked, knowing full well that wasn’t the worry.

“Disinfectant would be appreciated.” He clasped a tight fist.

“Good job.” You brushed your arm against his. “My protector.”

“I wasn’t protecting you.” He hummed a correction.

“Ah, you can only handle one at a time. I’ll keep that in mind.”

“Hardly.” He rolled his eyes to you.

“Let’s get ice cream.”

“It’s freezing.” He sneered.

“So? I want to shove a cone in your face.”

“Ah, yes. That changes everything. Let me amend…” He held suspense.

You slowed to watch him.

“Ab-so-lute-ly not.” He enunciated loudly.

“You never let me do anything fun.” You threw a dramatic hand over your eyes.

“Rolled ice.”

You peeked from under your limb. “Hm?”

“Dragon’s breath.”

“And now you’re saying words.” You brought your arm down.

He shook his head and unearthed his phone. He came near to show you as he pulled up a texting window with S.H.E.L.L.D.O.N.

Speed reading as he scrolled, your heart warmed at how casual their conversation seemed. It felt like how a father and son would text and you imagined the thread itself was not something that had existed long.

Clicking an indiscriminate link, a video loaded and talked up a new shop in the area. A delight of pastels and misty pourings of liquid nitrogen, it showed rose petal sheets of ice cream being scooped into cups and topped with various sweets.

“What, that’s cool!”

“Terrible pun.” Donnie remarked, staring to catch the address and then switching to a map app to make sure he knew how to get to the shop.

“I didn’t mean it.” You pouted.

“Sixteen minute walk?” He asked, ignoring your plight.

“Sure.” You perked up.

Adjusting the roll of the blanket in its satchel form around his body, Donnie put his phone away and led. Walking beside him and talking through something with hand gestures about paper airplanes you and some friends had made as kids, the chill got hold of your nose. The first sign of something deeper, you rubbed your sleeve to the tip in an attempt to stave it off.

Arriving at the shop found it to be one without seating, but walking in was welcomed warmth. Not as toasty as it could be for its produced product, the otherwise bored employees perked up at your arrival. You chatted casually with the two about the viral video as you got something with those rose florets you had seen. With a drizzle of cream and sprinkles, you were passed your treat along with a flat sort of spoon. Sneaking a bite before paying, you heard Donnie repeat his earlier medieval phrasing and eyed the girls as they laughed about his choice in this weather.

Taking it in stride, he snuck a glance at you while the spoon was between your lips. You smiled coyly around it and he cocked a smug brow that made you curious what he was up to. The employees went through motions getting a cup, but turned around to some sort of specialized machine to make whatever he had ordered. Pouring liquid nitrogen and watching waves of flicking steam drift off, Donnie was soon passed a bunch of cute pastel orbs. He felt no need to examine them and instead chose to pay and walk out of the store with you trailing behind.

“What is that?” You asked genially and flinched as the cold outside was starting to match your innards.

“Cereal.” He spoke simply.

“How?” From the overflowing pile, they looked more like huge candy colored cheese puffs. 

Not giving an answer and instead a demonstration, Donnie lifted a long toothpick in hand. A sort of skewer, he stabbed into the top most green ball and lifted it to his overly widened mouth. Staring down his maw as he chomped down on it. He glinted you a knowing smile before he exhaled.

Smoke forced itself out of the cracks of his mouth and leaked little steam from his nostrils as he chewed.

“Wha…?”

“The name denotes the reaction.” He explained having downed the first.

“I wanna try!”

He held out a skewered ball to you.

Biting down, it had a subdued flavor, but your gaze flew around at the smoke you produced.

Laughing in what you imagined was hearty puffs, you switched back to your ice cream as Donnie nibbled on his. Taking multiple at a time, he teased you with a growl. It was hard to pretend to be scared when he concocted ferocious imagery. Something you’d once thought came from an inferno, he always subverted expectations. Whittling down the cauldron that gave him potion based powers, he quieted into a foggy calm.

By the time you found the bottom of your cup, you were shivering.

Waiting for your partner to mention it, he only offered to toss your trash and continued to walk down the sidewalk. Tucking in near him, but not quite touching, you closed up your body in an attempt to preserve the little warmth you had left. Watering down what was already rationed, there was nothing to sustain the move. You went to telegraph this to Donnie, but found him making a clear left.

Chasing behind and hearing a rattle as your teeth tried to chatter, you squeezed down on your jaw. Enough that it waned the muscle, but stopped the involuntary movement, you worried that it was getting hard to translate your discomfort. He’d usually have noticed by now and would have switched to doting. As far as you could recall, you hadn’t done anything to upset him and seeing you afflicted probably wasn’t the sort of photographs he wanted.

It made little sense, but rationalizations were quickly falling off as you could only think about how your marrow was solidifying. Cold taking over your mind, you imagined burying into your partner's large coat and him wrapping you up in it. It was the action that you found growing more difficult by the second. You needed a bump to get through even making those dreams a reality. Summoning the little strength you had left, you meant to use it to rub your arms down enough so you could interpret your discomfort, but you found Donnie was outpacing you by several steps.

Opening your mouth to call to him only revealed the chattering teeth toy in your mouth.

You were forced to use your reserves to catch up with him. 

“This way.” Donnie spoke an icy breeze.

Keep up.

Cold.

Too fast.

Cold.

Right turn.

Cold.

It was too much and the threat of hot tears instead felt like ice cubes ready to be dispensed by a noisy fridge. You pulled desperately at your thin scarf. Not enough to capture your thin breath, the moisture you generated with it against your lips only served to further chill your skin. Lagging more and more behind, you unearthed your hands into the icy burn and tapped your cheeks.

You couldn’t feel them.

Flexing your fingers in case it was them, you caught how nail beds had paled in a worrying way.   

That was bad.

Having hit your human limit, you stared helplessly at your partner’s casual form a little too far in front of you.

“D-D-D-D-” You clattered.

“Up ahead.” He gestured.

Where?

You couldn’t look.

You could make out little past him.

You weren’t in actual danger.

You knew that.

Cold’s clutches were dramatic.

You’d enter some warm building and washing your hands would sting.

You’d be fine.

That still didn’t help the persistence of the chill.

It demanded attention in a different way then heat did.

Heat lapped at you.

Heat held a sweaty grip and wrung you out.

True cold hit like a freight.

As soon as you were past the point of no return, it was all consuming.

Heat took its time boiling you alive.

Cold wanted you to know every agonizing second.

Even if you couldn’t feel it.

“You first.” Donnie held a door.

You refused to let your limbs leave the safety of your body and waddled inside like the penguin you now were.

Warmth holding her arm’s out for a lover’s embrace, you threw yourself into it and gasped to get that heat inside you.

It entered along with a familiar musk.

You blinked past freeze to take in the space.

It was the bottom floor of your apartment building.

Spinning around to Donnie, he was just inside with the door closed behind him.

“W-w-we’re h-home?”

He stood an odd withheld and his gaze hard trained on you. 

“W-w-what?”

“Elevator, now.” He swept past you, all coat, as he slammed the key with enough force that you thought the button would break.

Shuffling up behind him, he was bouncing irritation as it arrived.

“Go.” He growled, staring forward and you lumbered past him into the box. Only then did he step in and slam the panel. Again imagining broken keys in his wake, the ride up was a taunt one. Your partner seemed to be all fury and if it was because you neglected to tell him your state, it seemed like an odd reaction.

Wouldn’t warming you up come first?

He could complain after setting things right.

That’s what he normally did.

Sinking as much into your coat as it would allow, your skin resisted the temperature change. Too slow to thaw, you settled into a minor shake and hoped the vibrations would be enough to crack the ice. Arriving at your floor before they could, this time you were the first in motion to keep another demand off his lips. You beat him to the apartment where the door unlocked and you slipped stinging fingers around the knob.

It opened with the clunk of the mechanism which sounded particularly sharp to your numb ears.

Pushing into the apartment, you assumed its differential was probably a pleasant one, but it still hadn’t reached you. You needed to be buried in blankets now; a shower could come later. You were rushing toward the bedroom when your partner caught you.

A scalding wrap, you squeaked out of concern. “D-Donnie?!”

“Idiot.” He hissed and pressed the whole of his body against the back of yours.

“M-mean-!” You had so many more complaints, but the effort of them was an iceberg on your tongue.

“Stupid, stupid…” He grumbled and shoved a hand down into your coat.

You whimpered waiting for his icy clutches, but found his appendage held a tidy warmth. “Wha…?”

Swiping up and then back down, he got through your next two layers until his hot hand found your skin. There he flattened out his palm and rubbed furiously.

You moaned in delight and threw your head back into him. “Warm…”

He said nothing more as his other scalding hand caught yours. Focusing on friction, he continued to rub heavily against your skin until your jacket slacked. Zipper forced down from the ministrations, your muscles had relaxed to the point where it threatened to slip off. Melding to your partner as if he was the key to the furnace, you attempted to turn.

Instead of something smooth, he swallowed you up. His mouth, something scorching, didn’t bother kissing you and acted as you thought his foreshadowing should. Not ice, but fire, he breathed the hot smoke that suffocated your lungs. It spoke of his starvation meant to eat you and you became the storied damsel with no means of rescue.

You had protests once, you thought.

Long ago, in the cold times, there had been something.

He was mad.

That was his fault, wasn’t it?

No, you’d asked for ice cream.

No, he’d walked that absurd route home.

It was something long and twisting, far from a normal route.

How long had it been?

You’d taken public transit hadn’t you?

It all seemed so long ago, like asking someone to recall the specifics from childhood.

There were feelings.

You hadn’t been cold then.

That was one.

However long, it was a duration where only just now after several long minutes of scrubbing that you start to make out the threads in Donnie’s sweater.

Something plush and easy to sink into, it held delicious body heat.

Not anything artificial, that life blood boil kept you moving.

You could figure out the bad feelings later.

Whether it be to push all the blame or take part.

You could settle for a participation trophy.

For now, he was doing an excellent job of making up for it.

Enough so that your out of body experience was one that had you hovering around. A dart and dash to capture all angles, you watched him squeeze and grab your body like it were dough needing gluten development. Your coat had long fallen to the floor and your outer layer was working its way to be the next. His hands maneuvered an internal path, only paying mind to keep from shoving the fabrics up and exposing you.

You were something to behold, something to covet and not for the cameras. At least not yet, as your hands dug with their newfound life into his lapels. You must have grabbed, from the angle it was squished between your body and unseen, but it forced Donnie to take only a momentary step back.

Palms appearing in one of the few flashes of skin, you pushed his coat clean off his shoulders. Arms akimbo caught it and his arms swooped to catch something. Only a momentary dip, he flicked back to let his coat drop before he was back on you. Passing something into your hands like a secret agent, he moved further with this mission of pillaging your very soul, he tended to the tiny embers that had begun to glow. Adding a nest of wood shavings and blowing in desperation, you came alive with a weak flame.

Whatever he’d given had a latent heat. 

A squeeze found it to be hand warmers. 

That was why his hands had scalded you. 

You might have been upset on what he’d held out on if ecstasy hadn’t had you twisting the white packets between your fingers. 

By the time feeling returned to your nose, you were dragged back into your body. Blinking through your new perspective, you found him laving at your neck and pouring his heat directly into your carotid artery. Something the clean opposite of vampiric, he was your victim and you were the one siphoning away his existence without effort. It was only a momentary stoking of some ancient hunger, but you were thankful for his sacrifice. Wanting to give him a paltry gift in exchange, you pecked his cheek.

His head came away in a stark contrast of stillness as his hands continued their plight. He found your eyes through his watery one and you wondered what he had to cry about. Giving him another quick kiss to about the same spot, he offered a smile. Feeling the edges of returning it, he sealed his mouth over yours properly.

The first probably since you’d left the house, it stalled his hands. It left both of you suspended, tethered to only one spot before all at once you melted together. Heat catching up in a desert gust, you were both moving now. Slipping through your fingers like articles of clothing, you needed those silly barriers keeping your bodies apart gone.

The true warmth could only be found there and you needed it welded to you. It’d come off him in sticky waves even through the unrelenting press of his plastron. Something wholly him and only his, you pulled a little too hard on an upswing against his sweater. Cooked delirium from the wildly shifting temperatures meant you momentarily forgot his height and the momentum toppled you.

In a feral crouch, he came around you with a hand cradled to save your head. You languished in his hold, eyes beaming trust up at him that he clearly didn’t think he deserved. In a form of shame, he ducked down into the rest of you that had hit the icy floor and scooped you up. Curling into him and wishing he could realize this was the solution, you were soon tossed in similarly chilled sheets. Whining your displeasure, he crawled up, your space heater, to root around it and you.

It amounted to kicking the sheets free and tangling the blanket around your hips. Catching him on a round, you pulled him back to you where he held little chirping protests as he hadn’t finished building his nest. You could tell him that he mattered more warmth why, but instead you buried your face into his clavicle. His upper plastron bit your chin, but you scrubbed with understanding about why he’d favored your neck so. It was a hotbed and you nosed it for your comfort as his hands groped your neglected legs.

Hiking them high around him, he tucked your knees to his sides and folded his arms over them as he worked. It was an attention to detail that you adored as he directed your legs downward into the spiral of linens. 

You needed him pressed to your torso.

You needed his heart close to yours.

Life blood to life blood.

The exchange wasn’t one that was near complete.

Flexing your thighs, you found you could create a friction against the warmth of his shell by rubbing the hinge. A sort of flammable firmness, you rocked your knees as if pedaling some unseen bike. A contraption jerry-rigged to create electricity, it was meant to be stored, but it seemed to be lost to the chemical reaction. Mourning it, you folded your shins around his carapace, trying to trap what you could. It pulled the him that was stroking down your legs forward and he allowed himself to fall into your space. Squished pleasantly under his weight and warmth, you moaned a satisfaction as this was an approximation of what you were looking for.

Something all encompassing and not going away, you abandoned where your hands were searching for momentary reprieve and enveloped him. Trying your best to hold him in place with your limbs, he puffed hot air against your cheek and dotted kisses to your hairline. It helped to an extent, but the damn scales of the universe tipped as keeping him there meant your limbs were now exposed. Whining as you couldn’t fathom a solution that didn’t leave some part of you wanting, Donnie pulled away.

You nearly sobbed as a chill ran over your preheated body.

He chirped a wobbly response back that spoke of bitter duty.

Leaving the bed entirely, he left you to curl up and try to absorb the far too little heat he had left you with. It meant a pathetic roll side to side in a fetal position. Your knees held the most of him and you tried to press that straight into your heart. Not making the same connection, a rapid padding said your mate returned and you made a sorry mewl to call him.

He made sound after sound of reassurance as he caught hold of your knees. He might have rolled you onto your back and split them had you not immediately fallen open waiting for him. Tucking his torso back between your legs, he encouraged you to return your limbs. Knowing the cost of that, you resisted faintly, until he insisted. Giving in and wrapping around him, he swooped his arm back and pulled something.

A huge blanket appeared in a tidal wave and crashed somewhere above your head.

Now plunged into a form of darkness, you jostled quietly as Donnie resumed his stroking. Again warmth blossomed and the cover caused a soft echo of his breath. Not something you could see, but tangible nonetheless, each puff entered the trap. A new source of heat, it bathed you until no part of you was left without.

Mercury hitting an acceptable level, you tugged your partner from his duty. He came with reluctance, little squeaks that said there was more to do until you found his mouth with a few open swipes. Teeth clinking in hunger, he found a new way to soothe you and let a metered amount of weight sink you into the bed. Something simple, but delicious, you moaned against his lips.

He swallowed it up and gave you more with the push of his tongue. An even exchange, you drank him in with minor wiggles as you wanted more of him. He obliged, placing small amounts on the scales until your rib cage protested and threatened your air. Another thing you stole from him, you settled with thinking that for now it would do until you could find some way to subvert the alarm.

Wrapped up in every sense of the word, kisses petered off until you simply had your mouths together for the sake of the intimacy. You grew drowsy in the embrace and from the very exertion of being cold. That shaking now a foreign thing, you broke the lip lock only because your neck went slack. Sleep whispering in your ear, you coaxed your mate closer. He came, burying his head beside yours so you could lean against him. Settling like that until you could feel the breath that lifted and animated his frame, you were about to commit to a nap when your lips moved against it.

“What happened?”

You didn’t really want to know.

You wanted to sleep.

“The usual.” He mumbled into the sheets. “Messed up.”

“You or me?” You vaguely remembered him being mad.

He gave a deep sigh before he rose up.

Your eyes had adjusted and you could see the faint lines of his features.

“A last minute addition to our plans.”

“Hm?”

“You asking for ice cream. I initially rejected the idea… until I came up with another.”

“Dragon’s breath.” You remembered.

He shook his head, heavy with guilt. “I realized I could make you cold.”

You squinted, trying to parse out what you were missing.

“If you were chilled…” He lowered to nose your cheek. “You’d want me more. Imagine you needy on film. Desperately clinging as I warmed you up inside and out.”

The word ‘film’ momentarily struck you as odd, until the point of the day crashed around you. “Oh shit, the cameras.” Your gaze darted around the blanket and you reached up to knock it off. “We can still-!”

He caught your hand and pressed a heated kiss to your knuckles. “None of that.”

“But…”

“I took it too far. Misjudged your tolerance.”

You peeled your fingers free to curl over his. “I kept waiting for you to notice. I thought you were mad at me.”

His lips parted slow. “Mad at myself. It became imperative to get you upstairs and back to a safe temperature as quickly as possible. That is all I care about.”

“Aren’t I one now?” You shifted and found you were straddling him high around the middle point of his plastron.

“I haven’t taken a reading in awhile…” He extracted an arm from where it was buried beside you and a screen projected out of his tech gauntlet. “You’re doing better.”

“Feels like it.”

“Rest.” He urged, turning the hologram off and moving to tuck his body back against yours.

You lay there, wide awake for a long moment. Flipping back and forth over whether to be annoyed with him or yourself, your body simply refused to hold that kind of heat.  Whether it was something you gave away, you didn’t know, but it all seemed a typical sort of plight. Donnie miscalculating and you relying too much on him to solve them, you weren’t used to these mistakes, per say, but it showed there was always room to grow. You would continue to learn to navigate one another.

If he’d stopped a few minutes earlier, his plan would have worked.

If you had pushed instead of waiting, you could have fine tuned it.

You were always better together when honest. 

Squirming a little under the guise of adjustment, you went back through his scheme. He had been right that being chilled meant you only wanted his hands on you. The desire to heat your frozen body had added a new layer to his touch. It had only passed the point of being sexual and instead became some delirious need. Something desperate, in your current, comfortable state it was easier to see the desire.

It was the way he’d worded it.

It was the steam emitting from his dragon’s breath.

It was an injection of heat inside you.

The confused reaction skin had to touching something as cold as liquid nitrogen.

The point where temperature reversed and ice scalded.

Chewing your lip, you made a calculated twitch of your hips.

Where you held him, you felt Donnie give a minor tense as if afraid he’d woken you.

He had, but not in the way he imagined.

Something akin to a questioning prodding, you rocked a few centimeters back and forth.

“Y/N…” He wondered, emerging from his ostrich’s hole. “You don’t have to-”

“I’m still cold.”

His body seized with a sort of fear before he kicked into action. “Where? Is it your feet? Let me get-”

You caught his shoulders and locked your legs. “Here. I’m cold here.” With the new leverage you ground your core into the flat of his plastron.

He gave a little churr of interest. “Are you sure?”

“Very.”

“Weren’t you tired...?” He murmured and nuzzled into the side of your head.

“I liked your plan.”

“Nonsense.” He puffed with displeasure.

“I did.” This time you bucked your hips.

He eyed you with a wary edge.

“It makes sense, especially after yesterday.”

His head lowered, but his eyes were trained on you.

“Wanting me.” You tilted your head so your mouthpiece aligned with his. “Worried about your place in my world. What better way to soothe that then by having me need you in a way that only you can provide?”

“I only pushed you to the brink of hypothermia to satisfy something we already labeled as unfounded.”

“Then why today? Why the cameras? It was never unfounded. We were using logic to help soothe you.”

“I do enjoy data collection…” He gave off an irritated aura at his own proclivities.

“Then collect more. Listen. What am I saying?”

He relented against what you assumed were bitter voices in his head.

There were no angels and devils there.

There was will to survive and protection.

The latter of which was the loudest.

It went about it in the only way it knew how.

It was learning otherwise, but some days it fell back on old habits.

They did die hard.

“That you’ve said, today and before, how much you desire me and currently I’m neglecting a very obvious request.”

You nodded, still waiting for him to meet your lips. “I’m 100% sure, no rounding up or anything.”

“No one is that sure of anything.”

“Guess I’m still your anomaly then.”

He chuffed and it felt like his final restraint laxed. His drawbridge then lowered and docked against your mouth. Kissing him to drive your point home, he melded to you in a new way. Dragging his body up while simultaneously bringing his head down to maintain the connection, you were soon wrapped just above the swell of his hips. An angle he controlled, he rolled the bottom half of his plastron to your sex and your leaked breath interrupted the kiss.

Renewing his stroke with a rutting angle, he parted your lips and pressed firm to your center. It garnered gasps until steam turned the blanket into a sauna. He refused more than a gentle friction, so you protested by raising your pleading voice. It only saturated the damp air further until it clung, ready to form droplets on your skin.

He wanted you needy.

Despite his protests, his goal was steadfast.

That absurd contrast in him went against all reason and yet he refused to abandon what his heart truly wanted.

That was why you were together.

The throb that thought sent through you caused you to shove upward with all your might.

It startled a squeak out of him and his shoulders bobbed to force the blanket free.

Watching it cascade down your partner like some gorgeous purple waterfall, he appeared a stunning statue in the light and warmth of the apartment. Where you thought a moment of chill would pass, the space was long baked and little tufts of heat said the vents were pointed in your direction. All things controlled by his mind on a near unconscious level, you pulled him back down to you to translate your awareness.

If he had a thought to pull the fabric back up, you kissed the idea out of him.

Temperature regulated, you only needed one thing and it was bound to push the needle in the opposite direction.

Residual tension melted off of him and he was soon trekking down your hips. First ghosting over your legs with some calculation, you moved ready beneath him as he stroked your skin. Thumb found muscle and he massaged into it until you were further pliant. It meant he had something big planned and you chirped against his mouth with hopes that it said you were getting impatient.

“Need to work you up…” He breathed fire that shot straight through your form.

“I’m pretty sure you’re good on that front.” Your lids lowered to break his resolve.

You earned a rueful peck. “I can tell.”

You squirmed, long knowing you were leaking down your own leg, but wondering how he felt it through his plastron.

Catching your eye and then sending his down for you to follow, you watched him rise up where you’d made a slick mess of the stiff surface and it splattered down to presumably drip off him.

You let your head fall back and stared up snide at the ceiling. “How the hell do you do this to me and still think we’re anywhere near passed puppy love!?”

He smiled brightly overhead and you wanted to kick him for how genuine it was.

Puffing your cheeks out, he kissed each air sac happily before getting his knees under him. It removed him completely where he’d been using gravity to grind and now you felt the cold nip at your boiling sex. Arching because of it, he attempted to soothe you by rolling his palms into the thick of your thigh.

“Wrong place…” You grumbled.

“Preparation, my darling.”

“You plan on sharing this time?” You fought against your lids falling at the massage.

“I’ll need your honest reaction.” He spoke with a tinge of worry. “I can share your need to stretch.”

“A new position?” You propped yourself up on your elbows.

“No guessing.” He grinned and turned his gaze down to where he was working your legs.

“It’s a new position.” You giggled.

He chuffed and switched his grip so it was cuffing the top of your leg. Manipulating your spread, you were split further and your hips went to complain.

“Uh…!”

“You see why?” He remarked without actually wanting an answer.

You nodded, nervous, and he rotated his grip again until his thumbs were pressed to the waning muscles that joined your legs to your pelvis. Moving with precision, he rubbed the groups gathered there until one by one they eased.

“Can you roll onto your side?” He relinquished your left hip signaling that was the one he wanted you to turn.

“Sure.” You complied and he quickly caught your leg as if it were an oar. Rotating it with its lock, he pumped your appendage until it loosened. You tried to parse out which direction he wanted your leg to go, but he seemed to be testing it at all cardinal points if only to throw you off. Glances shared said this was the case and you stewed up until he had to roll over the other way.

Going through the same motions with this leg, it only pointed to flexibility. It made sense in the context you knew, but you couldn’t figure out why it needed to be a surprise. Any position where the two of you connected was a pleasurable one and that desire to adhere had probably inadvertently worked you through the Kama Sutra.

It spoke of heady days in bed and reminded you of a boiling marathon done in this same season last year.

“Do turtles hibernate?” You asked as he leaned his weight against your leg.

He folded his arms in that position and the comfortable crease said he was doing a fantastic job at whatever his mission was. “Brumation.”

It seemed like another silly word to delineate things with turtles that were nearly identical to other animals. “Sure.”

“No. I’m warm blooded.” He resumed stretching you out.

“Ah.”

“Why?” Cupping your ass, he coaxed you to return to your back.

You rolled and adjusted so you were back in the little divot he’d created in the sheets for you earlier. “I can’t say we do it more in the winter, but I feel like we go longer.”

He hummed, the thought new to him as he again spread your hips wide.

They stretched much further than before and you had to gawk at your own flexibility.

“How’s it feel?”

“Fine…” You folded your knees back together before opening back up like a book. “This is wild. Put me on the split machine; I’ll break a record!”

He gave a faint chuckle. “Enticing thought…” His voice said he drifted with it, but it was all cover as his hand ghosted between your legs.

You gave a little mewl as the transfer of warmth picked up right where you’d left it. “Don…”

“Yes?” Using only a single digit he lightly traced your slit.

“Please say I’m ready.”

“You’re ready.”

A tightening of muscles chained a reaction throughout your body as you hadn’t been prepared for him to so easily agree. “Hurry then.”

His pupils shifted attention and he settled your legs on his thighs. Letting them hang comfortably beside his hips, he dipped forward for a kiss. With a taste of anticipation on your tongue, he leaned away enough to look you over lovingly.

“Usual safeties.”

You gave a single readied nod.

“Biggest chance is your hip popping out of socket. It’s not lethal, but it is excruciating.”

You blinked wide. “Um…”

“The stretching.” He reminded you.

“I’m less confident now…”

“You’ll do fine. Weren’t you ready to receive me?”

You pursed your lips.

“Just focus on me.” He nosed your cheek before tracing up and down your legs again.

Muscles now seared with his relaxing touch, you felt them loosen in his grasp. Clearly what he wanted, he was slow to hoist them up. Now clicking he probably wanted them over his shoulders, you scooted down to accommodate a lift. He accepted it genially, but coaxed you to fold at the knee. The pair bent on either side of him, he led them toward your torso. Changing up to think he was going to turn the Amazon back on you, you lifted your hands at the ready to help hold your legs to your chest.

Again you were bypassed and he continued to palm your skin to keep your muscles supple. “It’s charming how insistent you are.”

“I’m starting to think all this is a ruse and you’ll drop one leg and shove the other above my head or something.”

“So many guesses.” Your knees edged into his vision and he dipped down to pepper them with kisses. “None close.”

“Have you even dropped?” You tried to look down, but your own limbs were blocking the view. 

“Nope.” He switched to kiss your other leg. “Intentional.”

You laid your head back to think. 

He began to exert pressure again and soon your stem pair began to separate. 

Your lower half rising up in a counter balance, your back protested the bend. “W-wait…!”

“Pain?” He continued to push your legs toward you inch by inch.

“No, t-this is…!”

A move you never thought you’d be able to accomplish, your knees hit the mattress just below your shoulders and you squeaked as it squished nearly every part of you together. “Are you alright?”

You nodded furiously, words failing you.

“Good, now…” From where he was arching into you, he got his feet out from under him by throwing his knees out far to either side. It exposed his tail which flicked rhythmically between you and he scooted forward until the weight of his thighs kept your legs in position. Placing his sex directly atop yours, he gave a single stroke that instantly swirled your combined slicks. “Arms up, you’ll want to hold on.”

“Your neck?” You reached weakly, every little move bumping the two of you together in a distracting grind.

He did a quick survey. “Shoulders.” He helped you tuck your elbows to your chest so you could reach around to cup each bulb while your forearms rested against his carapace. He then towered above, his entire body curling over you until he folded his arms above your head with a wrap on either side.

Knowing that was going to be done to fight against some supreme momentum, you gave a shaky breath.

“I’ve got you.” From where he was positioned the best he could do was kiss the top of your head.

You nodded against him.

“Scared?” He looked down at you the best he could. “Smells like it.”

“It’s a roller coaster drop sort of fear. More adrenaline.”

“How do you feel?” He pressed an obvious smile to your hair.

“Like a pretzel.”

He chuckled. “Do you know what this is called?”

You hid into him.

From where you were perfectly aligned he began to rub his pelvis to yours with intent. “Will you say it?”

“Y-you…!” Your voice heightened as he parted your lips in clear adjustment to drop inside.

“You want me to?”

“I-” You broke to moan as he casually rolled upward to tease your clit. “I a-always beg… or…ask… or… s-start it… ‘is your t-turn…”

A bubble of malevolence oozed right above your head and you knew he was putting on his most wicked expression. “Is that permission?”

“Y-yes!” You tried to buck, but he increased the weight of his hips.

You were forced to move at his pace. “I’ll voice my intent then.”

Head lifting from the heated tangle of limbs you butt into his plastron.

He forced you back into the bed as he crushed your pelvises together. “My birth control…”

You whimpered.

“Still in effect. Still operating at 100% efficiency.”

Drop, you wanted him to drop.

“I, however, intend to beat it.”

Though you couldn’t get upward momentum, he could stop any downward. Your entire body pulsed as your cunt clenched on nothing.

“Here we have what is considered the pinnacle in breeding positions.”

You nodded as swipe after swipe drummed enough slick that it rained rivers down your ass crack.

“The wide pelvic stimulation leads to explosive orgasms. The alignment allows for deep penetration…”

“E-enough…!”

“There’s other benefits too!” He chirped manic.

“Donnie!”

He was clearly losing his fight against withholding because the flat tip of his cock poked out to interrupt his smooth glides. .

“Increased intimacy, skinship, improved pelvic floor!!”

“Please! Please!”

“Increased blood flow to aid in seeding!!!”

“Fuck!”

“If you insist.” His cock dropped into you and your entire body fought his. Forcing you to stay in place, he made you adjust to the filling burn in utter stillness.

“This…” He lifted his hips and it allowed yours to bounce free.

His cock leaving you, you heard a mental anticipatory clicking of an old coaster.

Something that held only menace, his gaze devoured you and you glimpsed his face.

He drooled vile intent before quirking an even worse smile through it.

If ever a look could cause ovulation.

“… is the mating press.” Donnie plowed straight through gravity and slammed his hips to yours with a force that must have been near his full strength. Outright screaming, you felt yourself go immediately numb as he followed through setting a brutal pace. The bed matched your pitch and you saw the fluttering of the canopy as the rocking threatening to pop the bolts. Sobbing openly and choking on your tears, he shoved down on your head where his hips were attempting to fuck you straight out of his grasp.

It forced you into a turn where his plastron dug painfully into your cheek. It clattered through to your jaw and into your teeth where he continued to ruthlessly drill you. True to his word, he was plunging past depths you thought you’d known. Tapping further to some unknown deposit, it was through sheer will alone that he’d hit his bounty.

Your eyes rolled back to some unseen part of your brain and swam in a sea of unfeeling taupe. Voice still ringing out with each thrust, exertion blew out your eardrums with a sharp and hollow ring. Something foreboding, Donnie heaved above you, delirious, with clips of him that drifted in and out of your vision. Surely leaking saliva onto you, you couldn’t feel it in the mix where his cock was blasting through your sinuses.

The force of him fucking you forced any and all superfluous fluids out of whatever cavity allowed. From beady sweat glands to whatever was cascading down your chin, there was little room in your body for much else. Excavated and near collapse, you weren’t even sure you were holding on. You were being evaporated by a heat so extreme that your body sizzled and wafted on contact. As if to spite both of you, your battered innards wound with orgasm where they had been plowed loose.

“No.” Donnie’s voice came clear right into your ear.

You could only shriek as he hadn’t stopped thrusting.

“Bear with it.”

Like you had a choice.

“You don’t cum until I say.”

Straining with some unknown energy, you clenched and all that came together was your teeth.

The room shook and you found your partner looking down at you in a drunken stupor.

A power trip that you wanted to say was unlike him, it sent a shudder of fear through you that only enhanced your impending orgasm.

“No!” He growled, all wet teeth. “Hold it in!!”

How could you?

How could you do anything?

You were a sack at this point.

Pushed thin and filled way beyond the stretch point.

Translating that was an impossibility so you tore through the only other single syllable you could manage. “No! No! No!”

“You’ll regret it!!!” He towered with a swirling gaze.

He meant it too.

Evil.

He was going to pollute you.

The injection was one to the heart.

A black ichor that wouldn’t allow your blood to flow a human red again.

Imagery was the little you could muster until it whited out.

Body as useless, you came because of him.

His fault.

He was the one plowing you. 

“What did I say?!”

Heavy.

He was so heavy.

He crushed you. 

Punishment. 

You couldn’t breathe.

You couldn’t think.

There was nothing, but him.

There was also pain.

Screeching from overtaxed muscles.

Oversensitivity.

Overcum.

Overcast.

Overloaded.

His arms slammed into the sides of your head and you were being suffocated against his plastron.

With nothing left, you welcomed the release when you keenly felt his.

A boiling point like a hose turned to full steam, it percolated with a few spouting bubbles until the brunt came. Fluids more malleable than his relentless cock, they rushed your cavity and the force of which was something you felt to an absurd degree.

Hot.

You were boiling alive.

Steamed and trapped, you couldn’t struggle.

You were injected way past the point of what your wrapping could take. There was any number of holes for the leak to spring and yet he only forced it deeper. Rutting down, something metal snapped, but if it collapsed, the sound didn’t reach you. You choked openly, bile burning your throat and suddenly you were free. Hoisted up a limp and delirious waste, you were curled forward. The rush of changing positions threatened to make you vomit, but you kept it down by wilting into the figure stroking your back.

If only his cock wasn’t still pumping deep inside you, then maybe you’d have the space to recover.

Little pathetic mewls sounded as each consecutive load was driven further within you.

You were shushed. “Almost… done…”

“Too… much…” You weeped.

“No…” He was so careful now; too loving. “Took me so well. Gonna look so good plump with my clutch. So good…” He bounced you for the last little spurt before, blessedly, he loosened his grip. A hand you hadn't known released from where it had been clasped a painful degree into your lower back. You were broken so he could get that much deeper into you. “So, so good…” He churred into your cheek.

You weren’t going to make it.

It was your final thought before you passed out.

-

Donnie waited on you hand and foot the entire next week. From the major bruising that made it near impossible to walk to his abject loss of control, you took advantage of him and then some. Not feeling the least bit bad about it, the only part you’d taken no pleasure in was discussing the matter of how such a thing cropped up.

His own memory of the event slightly stunted, you’d both been a level of surprised to watch the playback. A lewd and violent pornography, Donnie had been forced to pause it more than once and pace. For you, the slivers you saw fell into place, but it was the ecstasy on your face that seemed doctored. Where you remembered feeling as though you might perish, the you on the screen moaned like a cat in heat. Something feral and yowling, it seemed wholly unlike you.

Getting through the footage and how one of the cameras had an insane shot of your slits melding together and leaking white upon climax, Donnie looked ready to maim himself. Talking him down a proverbial roof, it was eventually decided that his instincts were mistakenly reared. Too much vulnerability and a quick option to put himself back into a dominant position meant he’d lapsed into instinct. A sort of horrifically marred survival tactic, it was another thing to add to the list for him to work on. 

Only, he wasn’t satisfied with so little punishment and had switched to devoting himself.

“Do you think you really beat your birth control?”

“No.” The first thought was sure. “No…”  The second wasn’t. “We’ll monitor.”

A promise and an additional week of near nonstop rest were all done in repair mode. The bed frame had snapped, but it was replaced within the day. The pictures for your locket were all, but forgotten and your main prerogative had instead been some extended aftercare.

As soon as you were able to endure standing more than a few minutes at a time, you had dragged him out. Feeling better in the fresh air, you were currently tucked against him in line. Toasty and half held within his coat, you were musing on a menu you would soon order from. Out sometime during a lunch rush had meant a wait, but you needed a break from the stale heated air of indoors. “Think they’ll have any of those peppermint cookies left?”

“Hard to say…” He spoke soft and doted with his beak to your hair.

“Think being soft like this will… trigger anything?” You weren’t afraid if it did. You hadn’t actually minded how rough he was in the long run. You’d actually come to think of the press fondly, which you impressed upon him, minus maybe some slightest adjustments toward the end. It was, once again, all about your participation in the matter, but he had also not been able to pass anything along. All things you discussed, it boiled down to progress. Ever non-linear, there was an obvious scale to be balanced and you’d both felt a little too comfortable shoving it one way. Your partner not only deserved, but required a delicate touch.

Donnie stiffened and pulled you closer. “Absolutely not, this is different.”

“Is it?” You looked up at him in earnest.

He nodded and caught your chin so he could relay his own. “This is taking care of my mate… We surmised the ignition point was perceived threat to my mental standing.”

With the barest shift, he released you, but you buried further into him.

“Oh, ho! That must be the lovebirds next door!”

Blinking into cotton, you extracted yourself at the elderly voice.

Above you Donnie suddenly looked like he’d rather be anywhere else.

Peeking around his form, you found your neighbor of whom Donnie despised for her long pumpkin related tangents. “Hey, Mrs. Kaczmarek.”

“Hello, love.” She smiled brightly. “You two out for a nibble too?”

“Yup.” You rounded your partner to act as a barrier.

“This is a tasty spot. Close to home.” She continued and the line moved.

Donnie took his step and you followed along only to find her struggling with the bag she brought. “Need help?”

“Yes, please.” She held out her hand where bony fingers clutched straps.

You moved to tuck your hand under with the intention to take the weight, but her other claw emerged and snatched up your left hand. “Let’s see…” She adjusted her glasses.

Donnie went all smug behind you.

“Not married.” She frowned deeply and turned a monumental sense of disappointment up at you.

You stared now believing every single thing Donnie ever said about this wicked woman.

“Waiting for the right time.” Donnie barely got out without laughing.

“You know I’ve taken the time to adjust to this… sort of coupling. You sort of neighbors. I support mutants with pride now! You should mind me as well! Living in sin and all!”

Donnie nearly doubled over and had to turn full away toward the building.

You sat trapped where she was still holding you in what you now realized were perfectly manicured nails. “Uh huh!”

She scoffed loudly.

You hadn’t meant to admit that; you were merely dissociating.

How had this not been revealed to you sooner?

You moved in months ago.

She also was older and presumably went to bed early where you worked most days.

Donnie suffered the brunt as he often worked from home.

You’d apologize later.

The line took another step.

“Ma’am!” You squeaked, unable to move with it as she continued to hold you tight.

“I’m waiting.” She narrowed her gaze.

“For what?!”

She made a sly noise and let go.

You scrambled two steps back and bumped flat against your partner.

“Let’s have lunch. I can tell you all about my son’s wedding! Things to avoid!”

“To-go!” You quacked.

She arched a brow and there was a slight shake to her frame.

“We have plans, don’t we, Don!?”

“Sure, very busy.” He snickered.

Worst liar ever.

“How about tomorrow then? We’ll do dinner!”

“I’m sorry, we-we-?” You rotated up to your partner for support.

He was staunchly looking forward.

“What’s that? Speak up!” She hobbled closer.

“Our turn. My apologies, miss.” Donnie swooped you under the wing of his coat and came down with a villain’s suave sent straight at the woman. “This has been far from a pleasure, but our schedules are simply booked out for the next eternity. Ta!” He then wrangled you inside and straight to the counter where a chipper employee took your order.

In a stupor, you vaguely heard Donnie ask for and secure your cookie.

Hiding behind a pillar as the old woman berated an employee, you felt safe enough to revel in the moment and crept over to laugh into your boyfriend's plastron. “She’s going to hate us! Omigosh! We’ll have to keep an eye out every time we leave.”

Donnie shone brightly above you. “You speak as if I don’t already track her every move.”

Reality striking, you turned up at him with irritation. “You let this happen!?”

He shoved a fist to his mouth and barely muffled a loud laugh.

He also turned his head.

You glimpsed the innards of his glasses.

Where you playing with leaf boats was playing as a faint image inside.

He then returned, quaking with more giggles as he looked down on you and did his best feeble impression. “‘I’m w-waiting!’”

You didn’t have it in you to join in or get annoyed. You only reached up and plucked the frames off his face.

“Y/N, wait!”

“Darling Protocol, continue footage for user Darling.” You turned the glasses around and mimed putting them on.

Donnie dipped low as if to stop you and you watched him through a faint image of yourself turning to smile at the camera.

“How… How long have you…?”

He shrank with worry and affection. “All the time. Especially of late…”

The you in the lens laughed and waved the kids goodbye, before approaching the frame with love in your eyes.

You took the glasses off and watched as the display fizzled out.

It was an image that could only be seen from within.

Donnie waited patiently beside you.

“Donatello!”

His head only moved slightly at the call for your order.

You said nothing and held up his glasses with a clutch that said you were going to place them. 

He dipped with anxiously closed eyes for you to do so. 

They landed a little off kilter, but he left them like that to grab your lunch. When he returned, you didn't allow him to linger and threw yourself into motion toward the door. A predator of an older age made some mocking comment, but you exited with Donnie’s boots clicking the pavement behind you. You walked three doors down before you looked both ways to cross the road.

Your partner trailed behind as best he could and you eventually shoved the ringing bell of a bookshop door.

Donnie followed close, catching the door and you heard an employee say something in a bored yawn.

“No food or drink.”

“We’re not eating, just need to pick something up.”

“Whatever.”

You maneuvered through the stacks.

“Y/N…?” Donnie whispered after to you.

This business had tried to maximize space as most did with New York real estate. It meant several bookshelf rows deviated from the norm and wound into a nook that you imagined once belonged to the last tenant’s kitchen. It now stood, walls lined with knowledge, as a sort of hidden place where one could get lost.

“Y/N…” Donnie murmured again, clear concern in his voice.

You took a leading step towards him, but swung your weight back. It rolled your form something untraceable before you lunged and pressed up against him.

You felt his being raise around an action he couldn’t script.

Snapping the top button of his slacks free, you shoved a hand down his pants.

A sharp squeak emitted from him and he clamped a hand over his mouth.

“Do you miss me?” You whispered into his sweater and stopped to drag your index finger across the bottom of his plastron.

“Y-you…! No… you’re… you’re right here.”

“That why you watch me on a loop?” You eyed him and stepped closer, crowding him into a shelf.

The bag flopped on his wrist as he went to grab the rack. “N-no, th-that’s…”

“Do you watch the whole day? Do you watch the end?” You pressed your palm flat against the lower ridge and curled your fingers, toying behind it.

He stifled a peep. “The beginning… only… the…”

“Why?” You applied pressure.

His eyes drifted shut. “I-I-”

“Go on…?” You swung your fingers loosely and barely brushed his inner thigh.

“Y/N, we haven’t since…” He gasped.

“I’ve been healing. I thought that was okay.”

“It is!” He caught your arm and forced himself to stare at you through what was almost a glare. “It is. I would wait a lifetime. I would never cum again. I would take a vow of celibacy sooner than touch you if you weren’t ready.”

“Why the footage?”

“It’s not sexual.”

“Then what is it!?”

“You haven’t been able to look at me like that since!” He startled at the sound and his face crumbled. “You haven’t…”

You stilled where you hadn’t realized you were pushing against his grip.

“I… I don’t deserve it. I tainted… No…” He took a deep breath. “We’re working on it. I’m working on it. I haven’t ruined anything and yet I’ve also… I don’t feel as though I deserve it, but I crave that attention. Why I squandered it in the first place…?” He shook his head. “I take immense joy in relinquishing myself to you. Why'd my mind fear it? Too much of a good thing? Do I imagine there’s greener grass when I stand in the most lush pasture?”

You leaned into him and thought.

Letting his words play over and over in your head.

Around you his hold eventually loosened and your hand felt particularly warm where it was.

“Darling Protocol.”

Donnie perked at the sound of your voice.

“Play footage from ‘Mating Press.’”

“No.” He reached up to take his glasses off.

“For user Darling.”

He paused with them just off his beak and looked down at you openly.

You stared back.

He was gentle about setting them on the bridge of your nose and the two of you appeared talking as Donnie massaged you.

In time with his kneads, you tucked your hand in between his legs and made a pathetic attempt to copy his skill.

“Y/N…” Donnie breathed, unsure.

The pair in your vision stole little loving glances at one another when the other wasn’t looking.

Without audio, you continued to stroke Donnie in time until you felt the first dribble of his slick. Almost against his will, you’d worked him up and watched as another him folded you in half.

“You know what I see…?”

“Me? Us?” He stunted out between breathy lips.

“A couple who is pretty good at communication.”  

Cinematic, there was a sweep across your intertwined bodies until focus shifted to highlight the moment Donnie connected your pelvises.

“Teasing each other. Knowing what the other wants.”

“It didn’t-” His breath hitched as you directly brushed his slit.

“It didn’t work? Don, we’re having our first pregnancy scare.”

A churr broke like a sob in his throat and he cracked open leaking desire in his eyes.

Starting with two fingers, you probed him.

Your lens shifted a focal point over Donnie’s shoulder to highlight the anticipation on your face.

“So good…” You mouthed, vision unfocused to watch both actions in stereo.

“Y/N… wha-?”

You sank into him to the joint and pulled back waiting for the miniature him.

It took a few more swipes and a return to the camera trained on your sexes to show the peek of his cock.

You jammed your hand back into your partner the moment he dropped in you.

In a flash, Donnie’s arm flew up and his teeth sank deep into the flesh as he barely contained an outright moan.

“It’s a shame you can’t see yourself breed me.”

His eyes rolled back just like the one on the tape.

“So deep…” You were close to fisting him. “So thick… So amazing…”

“Not…” Drool mixed with blood leaking from his bite.

“Not true?” You asked, turning your body slightly so you could plunge your arm further into him.

You fucked past his response and covertly worked your own fly free with your other hand.

In your double vision, things were rapidly devolving.

“You’re wrong…” You bent your arm in a way that it pushed down on his zipper.

It appeared you were giving yourself more room.

“You’re good. So good. Wonderful. Incredible. Made for me.”

He shook his head and rattled a few books on the shelf.

You pressed into him, nearly knocking him off his feet to keep him still. “Shh, can you be quiet for me? Only drop when you’re told?”

“T-this-!” He hissed to keep his voice low.

“So good at making me feel good. So good at breeding me. My sweet, Donatello.”

His cock hit your fingers deep and the entirety of his body flexed to prevent it from falling further.

“My sweet, sweet, lovely, Donnie.” Aiming for as fluid a motion as you could, you snatched the glasses off your face. “Darling Protocol, keep rolling no matter what.”

The sound didn’t reach his ears, but a certain level of awareness came as you placed the glasses back on his beak. 

His lips parted with terror.

You did a rapid turn, extracting your wet hand from him and knocking his pants down. They sunk to the floor and you shoved at yours, getting them only just below your hips. You then caught the shelf across the way and bent to present your sex to him. “Drop, my love. Here. Your mate needs you.”

He heaved two loud exhales before the many stimuli ate up his worries. Joining the past version in only one way, he lined himself up. Deviating immediately from the film, he was careful to cradle your hips. Crouching over the whole of you like some weighty winter coat, he pressed into your soak and groaned a sweet churr in your ear. Feeling your heat, he chased it with shallow thrusts and you scrambled to hold on to the bookshelf as he rolled against you. Made of only tenderness, he shifted and adjusted until he found your pleasure. He then held himself at bay, refusing to exploit it and instead wrapped you up in love.

“Deeper…” You moaned, throwing an arm back to cradle his head.

Hunched nearly to his knees, he adjusted his aim.

A reversal of the footage, you shuddered in waves of ecstasy when the angle of his hips got him fully seated. Switching to scrub there, he only nudged on your g-spot and you felt a new wave of adoration sweep you.

“Donnie!”

“Y/N!”

Matching call for call, he continued to make love to you in a steady building until books began to fall. None hitting you and the flutter of pages beating like dove’s wings, you came soon after and he held you close, letting you have every ounce of it. Shuddering and tugging, your mouth sought his and, in an awkward bend, he captured it. Communicating the same message, it bumped the glasses off his snout where they hit the ground at the same time he came.

A flooding warmth filled you up like a piping hot mug and you lounged in the drink.

“I called the cops, you sick fucks!!!”

In an instant, you were wrapped up and flying through the store. Shouts chased after you and a cold wind soon bit your cheeks. Only giggling amongst it all, motion stopped in the open air and you had to blink through stages of realization to find you were on top of some building.

“Donnie!?” You called.

“Here…!” He was around you, but crumpled over to pant from exertion, sex, and the adrenaline of fleeing the scene of an obvious crime.

“We’re totally banned…” You bubbled with laughter.

He hummed in agreement and tugged you closer. “…love…y-”

“Huh?” You swallowed your giggles in an attempt to get the foamy sound out of your ears.

“Nothing…” He buried down in the side of your neck and let your scent soothe him.

You laid your head on top of his. “How was that? Better, my sweet?”

He held for a long time before he went a calculated slack. “Better…”

Your pants were caught around your ankles and you pulled them up as much as you could where you were sitting on them. “Did you happen to…? Yes!” 

In a quick survey, you found your lunch and dragged it over to you. 

Still coming down from your high, you slowed in parting the handles. “I’m sorry I made you take care of everything again after I went rogue… again… Hard to avoid the same pitfalls…” 

He nodded his head into a scrub.

 You settled against him for a moment of humbling silence before rooting into the bag. 

“Lost one item.”

“What’s that?” You grabbed his sandwich first and looked at him curiously while offering it over.

Instead of speaking, he gave a calculated scrunch of his beak and you realized it was his glasses.

“That’s… not good…! I told them to keep rolling… no matter… what… fuck!”

“Self destruct.” He murmured.

“Self…” As if on cue, you heard a siren in the distance. “In a bookstore?!”

His arm rose around you and the move peeled back his sleeve where his gauntlet projected a screen. “Only a 1 alarm, contained to erase evidence.”

“I’m…” You sat in dismay for a second before looking skyward.

Cloudless, but sunny, it ambivalently sat overhead.

“… I’m racking up quite the record… which I will deal with later.” Donnie finally took his sandwich while you went straight for your cookie. “I’m gonna lie and say I earned this.”

“I’m inclined to agree, bar none.” Donnie whispered the affirmation against your head and adjusted his hold so you could eat entangled together.

NEXT

Beta boss round up for my sweet @tmntxthings and @thepinkpanther83

[talesfrommedinastation]

My Neighbor Doug on different locations in 'The Bad Batch'

So I did as was requested by my poll, and asked Doug what he called (and thought of) the various different places in which 'The Bad Batch' took place.

Need refreshers? Doug's interpretations of The Bad Batch: Main Characters

Doug's interpretations of The Bad Batch: Side Characters

Here we go:

--------------------------------------------------

Tipoca City: The Mall on the Ocean. You know it either smells really nice, clean and like fresh perfume, or it smells like ass and balls. It’s duty free, of course. Daddy Warcrimes totally plows the liquor section when Ryan-from-Accounting won’t stop annoying him and Daddy Rambo sprays on the sample Sauvage cologne to get the ladies. 

("I thought he was married?"

"He need the reassurance. Y'all know guys like him.")

Onderon: Damn-It-Jared’s Trailer Park. It’s where he and his goofy-assed hippie friends fire weapons and drop acid and scare the wildlife. It’s like Oregon, but stupid. Just like Damn-It-Jared. And Daddy Warcrimes comes down and murders civilians, because the man craves police brutality the way I crave a drink after watching the Saints lose. 

Saleucami: Tremor-Land. Look at this place and tell me you ain’t expecting giant worms and Kevin Bacon to pop out of nowhere. Also, Not-Wolverine’s wife gives me Reba McEntire vibes, trust me. They seem like a fun couple, I’d love to drink beer and shoot guns with them on a Sunday. 

(Cut and Suu = Not Wolverine and Not Wolverine's wife)

Pantora: Not-Quite-Austin. Its where young hot people go to get drunk, get into street fights and then leave. You know, where That Chick That’s in Everything gets into a motorcycle race with Daddy Rambo and then they look for the Gun Safety Muppet and Little Orphan Blondie is lost and I guess they sell Toaster Strudel at one point to the three eyed goat for cash?*

Meat Muffin, what in the hell did I just write? 

Corellia: Where-Anakin-Lost-His-Legs and Jorge’s Unemployed Sisters are collecting scrap metal for cash.

(“This is not where Anakin lost his legs!” 

“How do you know?”

“ I watched Episode III?! Did you?”

“Eh, they’ll update it, just watch.”)

(FYI, I wish Trace Martez and Tech had more scenes together. They would have been a cute nerdy couple)

Bracca: Planet Dump. Seriously, there’s a planet devoted to garbage. Is it New Jersey? It’s just creepy people floating around trash? Man, it’s like Thor Ragnorok, but sad. Think Valkyrie would show up at some point? Julio had a headache here and strangled someone, I get it, migraines ain’t fun. 

Ord Mantell: Great Value Cyberpunk. Do humans even live here? Well, Houma BBQ bitch and her ugly clutch of mutant boyfriends do. Her bar totally looks like someone practices eye surgery in the back like in Minority Report. 

Raxus: Space Country Club. Oh, this place nice and clean. I mean, dang, it looks like a gated community where everyone plays golf and is mean to their neighbors. I bet they have an amazing Christmas lights display but don’t allow ‘riff-raff’ to come in and bully anyone who doesn’t join their HOA. My sister’s in one outside of Miami, and it turned her into a bitch, trust me. 

Daro: Not-Quite-Fort-Bliss. I don’t get this place. It’s where Manny’s hanging out with other army guys but they don’t like him, even though he’s a good soldier? What the hell, the Empire is run by mid-level corporate dumbasses who think their online MBA makes them a god. 

::proceeds to go on a rant about MBA Rob, his nephew, and the clowns like them::

Safa Toma: Tank Girl’s Home. It’s like Tatooine but fun and crazy. It’s where the Rhino that Sells Used Buicks and his pet iguana live and force people to race in used car parts.**. 

Pabu: Space Daytona. It’s nice, it’s pretty, but I kept thinking the Empire was going to nuke it at some point. Hey, Church Lady says it’s her home away from home…where’s her other home? New Orleans? Shit, that’s a thought.

Eriadu: Space New Hampshire. It’s foggy, got mountains, and filled with angry old white people who can’t seem to retire. You know Tarkin totally screams at waiters and lives to make the poor check out girls at Publix cry. Just like his bitchy daughter, Stepsister Beth. 

(Doug now headcanons that Tarkin is Emerie’s dad…which makes zero sense, but whatever.)

Ryloth: Space Arizona. Everything seems rich and nice and the women are vaguely hot, cool canyons and mountains and whatnot. But then dig a little bit and everyone’s rat-in-a-shithouse insane and there’s guns everywhere. I like Hera and her daddy, he’s cool. Like him riding his space motorcycle and flinging that spear at folks, more of him please. 

Weyland: Spooky Lab Land. It’s where Stepsister Beth and Ryan-from-Accounting have family reunions with her asshole dad, his bitch wife Laura, and the gang. They’re into science and not making eye contact with anyone because there’s shit in the lava lamps that might be humans. 

Serrano: Space Coeur d’Alene. It’s got pine trees and mountains, real pretty, but it’s easy to fling trash and bodies everywhere and every other person is Doomsday prepping. You ever been to Idaho? Real pretty, but real off, ya know? 

*= I was struggling to breath after this. What in 'The Witch' was he thinking?!

**= Millegi and his racer. I had to stop texting Doug for a bit at this point, I was cry-laughing so hard I couldn’t see. 

[woodsfae]

Babylon 5 s02e15: And Now for a Word so2 Table of Contents • previous episode

September 16, 2259! Love me a good documentary!

Never not going to be funny to me that G'Kar's actor and Talia Winter's actor have the same given name (Andrea).

This is really not the time for reporters to be harassing personnel for soundbites.

:| and a very fuck you too, Ambassador Mollari.

Love having the dockworkers back!!

"Overall I've found this to be a good working environment. I've learned a lot here. […] Yes, it's a calm, pleasant environment. I don't think I've ever seen anyone get upset here." - random Earthforce personnel, lying like a liar

Stephen Franklin channeling classic, spacephobic McCoy here.

Oh my god, seventeen-year-old Stephen Franklin either accidentally killed his friend hiding in an airlock, or watched his friend accidentally kill himself messing around in an airlock. It's ambiguous, and horrifying either way.

Good trauma story sharing. But for real, how can he even live in space after that? I'm horrified and impressed.

Dang, that's pretty bad. Almost 60 deaths total, multiple bombings, and several narrowly-averted wars. In three years.

Literally idk how G'Kar can keep his composure. The Centauri are war criming like crazy.

This documentary format is actually delightful. I am loving seeing how the actors are choosing to portray their characters being interviewed. It's so fucking fascinating.

Susan Ivanova continues to be The Best.

Garibaldi wants to be bored and to make a difference. I propose that he could make the most difference by not assaulting people or threatening them with his rank.

This reporter isn't very likeable, which makes me wonder if she's going to end up doing something impactful.

"I am a friend, in peace." and then being met with such vitriol and journalistic malfeasance! This reporter sucks!

A hell of a thirty-six hours to happen to arrive to document!

Fuck, can you imagine a space battle going on outside b5's fragile little, punctured shell and being sent to start repairs while unknown, hostile aliens are still fighting outside? Hope they get hazard pay.

Yeah, I'd be tempted to get into a spacesuit.

Narn vs Centauri literally fighting outside B5 is a significant escalation of risk.

G'Kar backstory!! G'Kar's dad served the Centauri and as a punishment for an accident, was killed horribly over days and died in front of G'Kar. That'd drive anyone into resistance, I think! I respect B5 more for calling it a resistance in-universe, especially compared to in DS9 when they repeatedly and insistently called the Bajoran resistance terrorists doing terrorism. The Narns are increasingly impressive the more we learn about them. They went from low tech to occupied to equaling to if not surpassing the Centauri in a hundred years.

"The Narn have rewritten history enough, don't you think? [..] We have to take a stand. They are the ones who declared war, not us. We want only peace."

:| And then drop a Centauri war cruiser to blockade B5.

A commercial for PsiCorps. I have…so much to say about this. tbh, it's better propaganda than the US military recruitment videos I've seen. Hate that the PsiCops might just beam into your house! Did we already know they have teleportation? Or is that just creative license taken by the commercial?

Super uncool how, yet again, a critique of current events in the 90s being equally as relevant to 2023 current events.

Lotta hard stances being taken. Sheridan is so calm under pressure, but it's weirdly believable that he can out-yell the entire council and then go and calmly discuss the likelihood of mortal threats being mere bluffs. Aaaand awkwardly trying not to make eye contact with the camera that's in his line of sight, hah.

eeeee yikes another space battle! Third for the episode, I think.

I wonder how they clean up space debris. Surely they can't leave it to pose a hazard around the station.

Londo is leaning away from the camera a lot while he talks. Can't even buy his own bullshit.

The reporter was so mean and unethical to Delenn, and Delenn is talking to her again anyway. She's too good and her kindness is too calculated to be deterred by a dickish reporter. Plus, I bet the Minbari reporters are way meaner. Instead of being like "You do war crimes!" they'd be like "You should kill yourself so your memory can be less of a stain on your clan's honor than your life is being right now." Still, they made Delenn cry which isn't exactly a fun human experience to have for the first time on camera.

The inspiring peace lecture would be more believable if it wasn't being delivered by the military.

Anyhow, a very fun episode, especially considering how dark the topics were! Babylon 5 is alone in space, very puncturable, and hosting volatile political enemies bound on murder and/or war.

On to the next!

[destiny-smasher]

Stuff From 2023!

List of things of note I experienced in 2023! A few things didn't technically release in 2023, I'm sure, but yea. Will contain my 'Top 10 Games I Played in 2023' as well.

Firstly, something I played a lot of this year in bursts but doesn't quite crack my Top 10 is Vampire Survivors. Very addicting, did some very fun goofy shit that had me laughing and engaged in a lizard brain way. Appreciated the many Castlevania references and jokes, too.

A couple of games I played every weekend for a few hours across many weeks this year were Project Zomboid and Roots of Pacha, both in a group 4. We had lots of fun with those two, and I think they're both great co-op time-sink games. Zomboid is a zombie survival sim that has way more attention to detail than its graphics may imply. It's still in early access but the depth to its is honestly pretty dang impressive. Pacha iterates on the Stardew Valley formula in a ton of small but deliberate, thoughtful ways that make for a nice twist on that Harvest Moon style game.

REMAKES

There were so many great remakes this year, on top of just amazing games in general, I can't fit them all into my Top 10. So here's a segment dedicated to most of the remakes I loved this year.

The remake of Super Mario RPG was such a surprise, and turned out very damn well. That game, turns out, is very near and dear to my heart and I did not fully appreciate that until this remake was revealed. It comes just shy of cracking my Top 10 list and that's honestly only because I finished Mother 3 finally right at the tail end of the year. This game manages to still feel weirdly fresh even today just due to how fucking strange it is, and the remake speeds up the pacing a bit while also adding in some new mechanics and a chunk of new post-game content. Everything was handled so well. This is like the new gold standard of complete one-to-one remakes of sprite-based games imo. I will admit the artstyle is a bit 'off' in some ways but I think it's very clean looking and captures that 90's CGI spirit really well, all things considered. And the music, OOF, so damn good.

The remake of Dead Space I don't have much to talk about, but it's very well produced. It's remade so well, in fact, that it felt like my memories of the original, even though I know it's not an exact recreation. Very well done and still holds up as a great horror action game with these improvements.

The remaster of Metroid Prime is so impressive it feels like a remake, even if the game is identical to the original aside from presentation and some control changes. It's an iconic classic, and yet I have no patience to do the Chozo Artifact stuff, so I actually did not roll credits on this version BUT still thoroughly enjoyed reliving the game with a very nice new coat of paint. It makes me excited to see what Prime 4 will look like on, I expect, more powerful hardware.

SHOWS/MOVIES

The year started strong with a TV adaptation of The Last of Us. While I've come to have conflicted feelings with the franchise at large, mainly due to its leading boss man, I thoroughly enjoyed the first season of this series. Very well done adaptation that picked and chose what to keep and what to change and honestly makes for a better story as a whole if you ask me, while not really replacing the game's tactile interactive tensions. Cannot wait to see what they do with Part 2 tbqh. I loved that game more than the original but also felt it was worse as an overall game/experience/narrative. But a fresh take on that same plot could potentially address a lot of the issues I had with Part 2, while simultaneously not really 'replacing' it, either.

The Bear. If you haven't seen it, it's just. Very good television. Two seasons in and it's sitting up there chasing Mr. Robot and Better Call Saul as one of the best live action series I've ever seen. Season 2 did such a great job of giving us deeper dives on the various characters and building toward an organic and rewarding conclusion that still leaves room for another season to theoretically wrap things up. Nothing too crazy with this show, it's super down to earth, and it owns that very well with editing and pacing that varies per episode, kind of in line with the different character perspectives.

Super Mario Bros.: The Movie had me worried for a while, mainly due to the animation studio and casting. And while I'm still not 100% sold on this celebrity casting, I will admit it didn't weight the experience down -- even if it's still the second weakest element by far. The weakest element is the writing. It's not, like, offense -- it's loyal to the source material and works, it functions. But it's not doing anything beyond pushing us from set piece to set piece. If anything, the movie is a bit too short for all of the stuff it's cramming in. But on the upside, there is a lot of amazingly rendered visuals and music to take in. A real treat for fans of the franchise, and the most loyal gaming adaptation in movie form, I would say.

Across the Spiderverse is in essence the first half of a two part film. That makes it kind of difficult to talk about, especially when it's also a sequel, and the production sounds like it was marred with bad management and crunch. But the results they came up with actually met my hopes and expectations for a sequel, and that is saying something, as I had very high expectations. I completely adore this film's stupendous sense of style, editing, framing, writing, and the way it's making meta-commentary on multiple levels on top of just being an effective narrative on its own. This is animated storytelling running at full capacity in my opinion, and in general just film doing all of the kinds of things film can do. So it's no wonder that there's still a rub -- this is the first half of the story they planned. The editing, animation, framing, effects, acting, action sequences, music, writing, theming, just Farore's sake, this is SUCH a damn banger of a film and one of the best movies I've ever seen, which, again, is kind of insane given the circumstances. I can only hope they don't fuck up the conclusion.

Scott Pilgrim Takes Off was quite the surprise announcement, and as it turns out, quite the surprise adaptation. I won't spoil much but I will say that by the end of the first episode, it becomes very apparent that this series is no mere by-the-books adaptation, and does something unique and edifying, even if it still maintains a certain surface-level depth I wish the franchise would push beyond. Either way, I enjoyed it way more than I expected to going in, and I think it makes for a great companion to the rest of the series. The animation style was super fun, as well, with some great action sequences.

But Blue Eye Samurai sucker-punched me, having released before I'd even known about it. This show is something else, something unlike any other animated show I've seen besides Arcane. And it's not like it's mimicking Arcane, it's just the closest I can think to compare it to: a quality, thoughtfully framed, thoughtfully written, made-for-adults animated series. It tows the line between fantasy and realism in a refreshing way, its protagonist is great, its cast is compelling, its plot goes to some neat places, and things just feel very well thought-out and well-executed. Slap this in second place behind Arcane as the TV series I am the most excited to see more of in the future, just ahead of The Bear.

Something I did near the end of the year was watch The Hunger Games movies, back to back over the course of like, a week. Have not read the books but man, watching these sure made me interested in doing so at some point. I totally get why people were so enamored with this franchise, and honestly, I think its themes and messages are more relevant now than they were when this franchise was at the peak of its popularity. The films certainly have glaring issues for my tastes but yea, I managed to really enjoy them as a whole despite my lack of mainstream sensibilities. Looking forward to reading the books eventually.

Another thing my wife shared with me was 花ざかりの君たちへ (often called 'Hana-Kimi' for short). Specifically, the 2007 version, as, uh, apparently there are multiple adaptations of this. It was a live action Japanese drama about a high schooler who was born female but transfers into an all-boys school, identifying as a boy while she is there. There's more to it than that, and I won't say it handles everything the best (it's from the mid 2000's) or concludes things in quite the way I'd have preferred. Not to mention it's kind of weird seeing many tropes I'm used to seeing in anime rendered by physical, real actors. BUT it was overall a really sweet, adorable, funny, heartfelt, and reached for pro-queer expression in a time and place when that wasn't mainstream yet (and honestly kinda still isn't depending on who you ask).

Good Omens Season 3 also dropped this year. I actually don't have much to say partly because I think a big element of it is just not knowing what to expect going into it! But it was also very good, very fun, pretty damn gay, I really enjoyed it and am crossing my fingers hard they get to wrap it up the way they want.

All right! Onto my personal top 10 GOTYs.

TOP 11 GAMES

(I played and finished in 2023)

11) Mother 3

The one entry on this list that did not actually come out this year -- in fact, it's never technically released outside of Japan. Originally release in 2007 on the Game Boy Advance, this quirky RPG has developed quite the reputation. I started playing the fan translation back in like 2020, and only got around to finally finishing it this year. While that likely did tarnish the experience a bit for me, so does the final third or so -- it kind of drags on a bit, and any old school format RPG that requires grinding to progress can become a bit of a chore.

Thankfully, Mother 3 did earn its hallowed reputation in my eyes now that I have experienced it. I totally get the passion for this game now, and I am a convert. It makes me want to finally finish Mother 2, aka Earthbound. But here's the biggest thing about Mother 3 I weirdly did not expect going in, yet smashed my face in like a hammer by the time I finished it:

without Mother 3, there is no way Undertale/deltarune would exist.

The DNA for Toby Fox's works is achingly obvious in its relation to this game, specifically. I won't spoil anything and I won't go into my long list of evidence like an Ace Attorney case, but trust me, there is ample evidence to make this claim.

And that also means that Mother 3 stands on its own merits as doing things that RPGs just plain were not doing in 2007, and in some ways still aren't today. Aside from some pacing issues further in, the characters in your party aren't as developed as much as I'd like. BUT the overall narrative it tells, especially in those opening chapters, have a rare kind of earnest, human magic to them that most games just don't let themselves fall into. And it concludes in ways I did not expect and yet offered clarity as to why it is so beloved, and how Toby Fox was so inspired to put his own mark on the gaming landscape.

I owe a great deal to Undertale, personally, and as such, I also owe a great deal to Mother 3. You don't need to have played others in the series to enjoy it, you'll just be missing some referential stuff here and there. It's quite playable and unique by today's standards and I strongly recommend it if you want an RPG that is heartfelt, funny, fun mechanically, and has some simple but hard-hitting things to say about the world we live in, and what we are doing to ourselves and that world.

10) Super Mario Bros. Wonder

What can be said that hasn't been said already? Nintendo knocked it out the park with this one. This was everything I've wanted in a 2D Mario for like 15 years. The only thing 'missing' from it is playable Rosalina, but hey, we finally got Daisy in a mainline Mario game, so I'll take it. After a decade or so of dragging their feet with low-effort but enjoyable 2D games, Super Mario Wonder finally, at long last, captures what makes Nintendo games great and with their best foot forward. They haven't done 2D Mario this well since World on the SNES in 1991. And they have never put this level of production into a 2D game since... ever?

This is one of the all-time best 2D platformers out there, and for once it finally feels like 2D Mario is running on all cylinders as a big budget passion project kind of game. You love to see it.

9) Scarlet Hollow

This game isn't technically finished yet, as it is episodic, and its developers wanted to release Slay the Princess in the interim, but that doesn't stop its quality from being good enough to make my list. This game is doing the kinds of things visual novels should be doing, the kinds of things I wish to do in a sense with my own visual novel development.

It's a horror themed experience but balances the high tension with actual real stakes very well against mostly down-to-earth conversations, with lots of great tricks and touches of presentation you don't typically see in indie visual novels, along with a fantastic art style, charming characters (my favorite character has turned out to be the one I immediately disliked at first, and that's rare for me), and meaningful choices.

I can't wait to see how this one wraps up but even as it stands it's one of the best things I experienced in 2023.

8) Xenoblade Chronicles: Future Redeemed

I will admit I skipped Xenoblade Chronicles 2 after giving it an honest go in like, 2019 or so. A few hours in and i couldn't stomach it, the tonal whiplash from Xenoblade 1 (one of the best RPGs I've ever played) was too much for me. But then Xenoblade 3 came out last year, and is also one of the best RPGs I've ever played, even better than the original for my tastes.

But I wasn't prepared for the DLC to drop a whole ass side-game on us, a self-contained prequel to 3 that serves as narrative cohesion to tie the whole trilogy together with a bow on top, complete with perfectly tuned fanservice (and not the sexy kind, although grown-up Rex and Shulk, well, yes) that really respects its fanbase for investing hundreds of hours in this franchise.

Matthew is easily one of my all-time fav RPG main characters, probably the favorite RPG main character when I think of it (as main characters specifically go, anyway), and his game is a fraction of the length of many RPGs out there. But as usual, the entire cast had their charms, the story was nicely paced, the gameplay and overall length was just about damn perfect for what I could want from the genre.

As an expansion to a pre-existing game, this is one of the top 3 best expansions/DLCs I've ever played. When taken as a side story to an overarching trilogy, I'm not even 100% in on the lore and I still enjoyed the hell out of it, it's just the kind of thing that hits a tone of 'damn, video games are a fucking unique medium that we can do specific narrative things with across years of telling a story.'

I don't know where Monolith Soft is going next, though the ending certainly offers some intriguing teasing, but I suspect I will be there day one to see it, and am looking forward to it.

7) Pikmin 4

Given the long wait (10 years!) one might understand fan concern over the state of Pikmin 4. Turns out, that extra time was spent making this game fucking good. It's not the largest, most impressive, most complex, most inspiring, most 'anything' game I played this year, and yet I can't help saying that this is a damned good video game. It really nailed what it set out to do as a sequel, incorporating just the right ideas to spice up the formula while bringing things back to how Pikmin 2 was, and improving on the series in basically every way -- including stuff to do!

This is easily the most Pikmin game... in a Pikmin game. I still haven't 100%'d it. Without giving away any details, I'll just say that when a game rolls credits and you're only like, halfway through its content, and it just keeps going, that's just kind of wild. It would've felt like a great game even then, but the breadth and depth it ends up going to in order to keep giving you ways to engage with its wonderfully detailed world and addictive mechanics, I love it.

I just want more of it. Give me DLC with more Dandori content, the formula and feel just works so well at this point.

6) Sea of Stars

How the hell I forgot to include this one on my list initially is boggling. Easily one of the best indie games I've ever experienced. The writing is nothing to, well, write home about, but it's not bad. And in fact the story has a lot of great things going on, from an interesting world to a very potent arc with the leading support character (who, let's face it, is kind of more the main character than your two main characters).

The game's art and music are phenomenal, capturing the essence of 90's era RPGs but clearly doing things not capable back then. Made even sweeter, the game is a prequel to the studio's prior work, The Messenger, which I also played and adored in tandem, kind of going back and forth between the two once I was partway into Sea of Stars. The way this RPG repurposes songs from Messenger as well as all kinds of seemingly superfluous elements but makes it feel cohesive is pretty great.

The game also trims a lot of the fat you'd find in older RPGs, as well as lets you customize your experience in a modern way using collectibles you can toggle on and off to grant all kinds of effects, like increasing or decreasing the difficulty in various ways.

The homage paid to classics like Chrono Trigger and Super Mario RPG is clear but it's not at all copy-cat-ing, instead wearing those inspirations proudly on its sleeves and forging its own path with its own ideas. A fantastic collection of party members, a wonderful world, amazing presentation, and environments and pacing that help it stand apart from the genre that inspired it. I wish we got to know the leads better, there is a lack of character growth in many ways, but that's me grasping at straws to critique, it's just a fantastic experience and the studio should be very proud of what they've accomplished.

5) Hi-Fi Rush

This is gonna be a running trend from here on out, but on any other year, Hi-Fi Rush would've been my GOTY, easy. From this point on, we're talking measures of inches rather than miles in terms of my love for these games.

Hi-Fi Rush finally delivered on something I have waited like 20 years for: a rhythm action adventure where playing the game in sync with the music felt fucking cool and gave me emotional resonance in a way only this medium can. The humor was charmng. The visual aesthetic is almost peak 'my taste.' The music was groovy with a few tracks I did not see coming but loved seeing how they were incorporated. The story was surprisingly fun! The characters were fantastic, I loved the entire main crew in a way I rarely ever do and would jump at the chance to spend more time with (and hey, there's a whole bunch of post-game I have yet to do, so I intend to in 2024).

The only real thing I could reasonably ask for from this game is a way to play as those other party members in post-game content or new-game plus or something. And who knows, maybe we get that some day. Even if we don't, what they came up with here is the next best thing besides. And what we got is one the most video-gamey video games I have ever played, a real classic and one I think will go down as one of my all-time favs. A passion project given meaningful time, budget, and creatives to bring it to life.

Had this game offered multiple playable characters, a bit more development in its story, and maybe a stronger climax, it'd be higher. I still love it to death and want more games like it regardless.

Hi-Fi Rush is exactly what kind of game we could have gotten more of if the Internet hadn't pushed gaming into a 'live service' direction. It is literally the spirit of a PS2/GameCube game given modern form. And either way, we did get it, at least, in that form, and it fucking rocks.

4) Resident Evil 4 (Remake)

This year was big for remakes and remasters, but one stands tall above the rest, if you ask me. The original RE4 has stood as my fav in the franchise, the one that got me into the franchise, the one that got me into M-rated games in the first place. Lots of nostalgia, but it's held up surprisingly well over the years despite some limitations of the time (mainly the controls) and some older-fashioned sensibilities ("with ballistics, too~").

But Capcom fucking nailed it with this reimagining. Like Final Fantasy VII: Remake, this game is not a remaster, or a one-to-one recreation. It is a brand new game, built from the ground up, reimagining the original entirely, complete with new mechanics and story. But unlike with FF7, this is also shockingly authentic and loyal to the original at the same time. It remixes elements from the original game, maintains most of the original's map design, adds in new stuff, removes some of the more goofy shit -- and even 90% of what feels 'removed' is revealed to be repurposed for the Ada side story DLC.

It looks great, it sounds great, the adjustments to characters and story are improvements across the board, (except for Hunnigan, RIP) the gameplay is improved in intensity and feel and action and replayability. And yet despite all of this, it balances that campy tone of the original just enough to still evoke what I loved about the original's tone. And it doesn't outright replace the original game, either. The two are now like different recipes of the same sandwich or something. There's reasons to revisit the original, though for me this has now replaced the remake of RE2 as my fav in the franchise.

I really don't know where they go from here but I will look forward to it, and regardless, they fucking nailed this one.

3) Street Fighter 6

Two Capcom games, back-to-back? They had a fucking good year in my eyes. The interesting thing about this particular entry is that unlike the others on this list, I will be continuing to play this one for hours and hours into 2024, especially with more fighters still planned. And in another year, this would've easily been my GOTY.

After all, Street Fighter 6 is the single-best traditional fighting game I think I've ever played. And while fighting games are my overall personal favorite genre, I'm more of a Smash player who also loves the hell out of Street Fighter and then dabbles in Tekken and whatever else releases. Street Fighter has always been one of my go-to top multiplayer games since I got into the franchise with SF4 in 2010. While I did enjoy SF5 well enough, it just didn't keep me hungry to come back for more like 4 did. SF6 has fixed that problem by way of a multitude of changes.

It has easily the most fun single player mode I've seen any fighting game have. Like, yea, The Subspace Emmisary (and even then, I don't love that mode like other folks do, I kinda think it's... fine?) but tbqh World Tour is just better in most every way. You get to build your own fighter, earn and mix and match different costumes and individual character special moves with each fighter's fight style. You get to just hang out with the SF characters, get to know them as people, their hobbies, their fears, their insecurities, their passions besides just beating the shit out of each other. On top of this, the realistic art style shift (a by-product of the RE Engine) seals the deal on what Street Fighter 6 is aiming to do: humanize its cast.

Is it still wacky as fuck? Is it still comical and weird and goofy? Hell yes, it is. Is the story mode deep in its narrative? Not in the slightest. But it's still stepping confidently in a direction fighting games should be trying to, not being too self-serious, but also being earnest.

And I haven't even touched on the mechanics! The Drive System alone is a brilliant addition that adds a sort of 'stamina' system that works so well to add an extra layer of decision making and tension. The game's not perfectly balance imo but for how much is here it is surprisingly damn well balanced, especially given they have insisted on not pushing out a single balance patch since it launched in June. For most any other competitive game, that would be like suicide for the scene, but the game seems to be thriving and selling extremely well for the franchise. And it's earned it.

I will absolutely be continuing my warrior's journey into 2024 and I can't wait to see what else Capcom has in store for this game.

2) Legend of Zelda: Tears of the Kingdom

Out of every game I played in 2023, Tears of the Kingdom is easily the most technically impressive. From a design standpoint, from a 'how in the hell is the Switch doing all of this without exploding' standpoint. From a 'holy hell how is there this much stuff in a single player game' standpoint. From a 'oh my goddesses that stupid batshit idea I had 100% worked because it actually did make sense' standpoint.

Where Breath of the Wild opened our minds as to what an open world game could be -- fully designed like one giant interconnected 'level' -- Tears of the Kingdom replied in much the way I expected: it pulled a Super Mario Galaxy 2. What I mean by that is that this is a direct sequel, building directly off the foundation of the original. You know. Like video game sequels almost always used to. And which many very successful ones still absolutely do.

But Tears of the Kingdom somehow managed to wow me all over again by adding to that open world's verticality in insane ways -- the Depths alone are probably my favorite 'mechanic' from any Zelda game ever besides the time loop of Majora's Mask (and what that did for the story and gameplay). But beyond the scale of the world basically doubling and then some (floating islands and caves on top of Depths), I was curious how this game could stand tall after Elden Ring, which is easily in my top 10 favorite games of all time at this point. Elden Ring was Fromsoft's reply to BOTW. And yet Tears of the Kingdom still managed to have something new to say in spite of that very strong reply.

Tears of the Kingdom opened the door to let players essentially create their own mechanics. By removing the abilities Link had to engage with the world before, and replacing them with a brand new toolset that includes abilities you just... don't see games give you, because they'd be 'overpowered,' TOTK designs its massive world in ways that invite you to use those 'overpowered' abilities however you see fit.

Being able to interact with the world and objects in this way, being able to fuse them together to create all kinds of effects, or new methods of transportation, even interacting with things not just spacially but in respect to time, it's nuts and fun and I've already poured like 130 hours with still so much I haven't done. And that's the thing: this game wasn't designed to be 100%'d. It was designed to just... be experienced, as much or as little as you want. And games on this level of scale/budget just do not have the guts to let so, so much 'content' be missed out on. And this game does.

It's a technical achievement and while I had my doubts with how strangely little Nintendo had to show, I am very glad that the experience itself manages to breathe new life into one of my all-time favorite games while improving on it in so many ways. It won't convert you if you didn't love the original -- this is a Super Mario Galaxy 2 style sequel, after all. But it's essentially replaced the original in ways I didn't think would be possible.

The story? Oof. Uh, not so much the story, let's ignore that part. That's what Nintendo wants you to usually do, anyway. But everything else, just. Din-damn.

It expands upon the first game's already fairly open-ended nature in an exponential way that I suspect developers will spend years to come trying to pin down, much like how they've spend the past 6 or 7 years trying to replicate BOTW's open world design.

For much of this year, I thought this was personal GOTY. And for many it will be, because it's just an extremely impressive video game.

Number 1...?

Going into this list, I kept telling myself, 'man, on any other year, this would be my GOTY. And if you know me personally you likely have already figured out what my GOTY is by omission. But the more I've thought about it, the more I've realized just how close these top 5 games are, it really is like centimeters instead of inches, and they each -- well, every game I've mentioned here, beyond the Top 10, as well -- offered something edifying that I was very satisfied with.

And no, it's not Baldur's Gate 3. While I have spent hours playing it in co-op and a little bit solo, that game's just not really for me, exactly. Like, I can enjoy it, and I have massive respect for the dev team and what they accomplished with it. But I don't much care for D&D, and the game just didn't do very much for me personally, I lack the motivation to finish it. Remove Karlach from the game and I have next to nothing to really attach myself to, personally. I definitely get why it's many people's favorite game of 2023, though, and I do think it's a bit of a wakeup call for what can be accomplished by just making a GAME instead of struggling to contort it into a service etc.

Street Fighter 6 is fucking fantastic but it could still use some more actual fighters and incentives to keep playing besides monetizing its players in weird ways. I love it, and it will be the game from 2023 I end up playing the most (it already is, I think). But if it ended as it is, I would be very satisfied.

Hi-Fi Rush is oozing with originality and style and I adore it to death, and when I finished it, I was very satisfied.

Resident Evil 4 kept me addicted for over 100 hours, had an amazing DLC expansion, oozes replaybility in the specific ways I like for a single player action game (rogue-likes besides). I am extremely satisfied by it.

Tears of the Kingdom is so massive and fun to just explore that I know I will continue to play more in the months to come. Will I ever revisit it entirely? I'm actually not sure! That massive length does lend some repetition, even if it's the kind I find therapeutic and satisfying.

And that's what made me realize something. My personal GOTY did not just satisfy me. It made me hungry. It filled me up in a way I didn't think was possible and yet I still hunger for more, because I enjoyed it that fucking much. I played through it twice and still hunger for more. I know I will play it a third time eventually, but mainly I just have not been to remove from my brain the particular ways it made me feel, ways that only a video game can. Nothing about it felt like it needed to be overlooked.

SF6 and RE4 had dubious monetization, TOTK had a story I found to be like 90% boring and it still maintains many of the flaws of the original. And Hi-Fi Rush, while amazing, just didn't scratch the particular itch this game did for me.

1) Lies of P

If you told me that Lies of P was a game developed by some sub-division of FromSoft, I'd believe you. Which is to say I would also believe that it was made by people who wanted to break free from some of the shackles of the now infamous 'soulslike' genre.

A narrative that actually makes sense by the end? Opening up options for the player without requiring specific stat levels? Encounters and boss fights that feel ravenously challenging without just feeling like cheap bullshit? Music that crosses borders beyond 'angry chorus, angrier orchestra'?

Lies of P doesn't quite eclipse Elden Ring, but that's an absolutely unfair comparison given the utter scope and scale and variety that game packs. But Lies of P improves at the FromSoft formula in specific ways, while making concessions in others, and as a result it's just an experience that seeped into my brain like no other game this year, not even Tears of the Kingdom, despite that I put half the hours into this one.

I love all of the games I have mentioned here, you could honestly swap around the order of this top 5 and I could mentally meander a way to justify why, no, actually, this one was my favorite game of 2023. In a year so awful for the people who make games, yet so amazing for games themselves, Lies of P is exactly the kind of game I needed. I needed someone to show me that you can make something directly inspired by someone else's work, yet fine tune it in all the right ways to make it stand just as tall in terms of quality and design. Lies of P made me feel things in ways only a handful of games ever do -- and I would actually count Hi-Fi Rush among those in a regard.

But Lies of P also told a story I found compelling. It had mystery, tension, buildup, it started off seeming like it would do the vague FromSoft schtick only to 100% come together, make sense, be rewarding, and offer a 'true ending' that I got on the first playthrough, organically, without looking things up, because it just... felt right. Not only is the game adapting FromSoft's formula into something its own, it's also doing that with the story of Pinocchio. The gameplay and the story congeal together not in the 'perfect' way that it does with games like Celeste or Undertale, but rather in a more... messy way, like a puppet aching to become a real boy.

The game is full of loss, in its world and for you as the player, who will die many times. But unlike much of FromSoft's catalogue, I never once felt like I died because of bullshit. Was I trolled? Sure, the game definitely 'trolls' you in classic FromSoft fashion, lulling you into a sense of security only to sweep you off your feet. But unlike how FromSoft does it, these circumstances can always be avoided if you're cautious. And if you're not? Hey, 'We got you! We gooottt youuu, haha' and you lose a couple minutes of progress, rather than like fifteen minutes and also an entire level's worth of souls because oh right, this section you just got through is kind of bullshit cheap.

Don't get me wrong, I love Dark Souls. But the thing is, Lies of P takes the parts I love about Dark Souls, admits it can't pull off quite the intricate web of level design, but then throws away everything I do not like about Dark Souls, improves on the things I already liked, and then pushes me to meet it on its level.

The satisfaction of being a boss you spend an hour, two hours on, cannot be understated. It's a feeling unlike any other, and one only this medium can provide. And Lies of P kept me motivated, like Sekiro before it, to keep improving, keep growing, keep trying. And unlike Sekiro, it gave me so many more tools to play with, to learn, to balance in an arsenal with intent. Enemies have elemental weaknesses if I so choose to exploit them, the moveset of one weapon's handle can be applied to a completely different blade, my robotic arm can leverage things in a pinch, or be the backbone to dealing with a boss. Mastery is rewarded with practice. A vicious boss that annihilates you in five seconds can be defeated without a single scratch if you practice enough. Mastery, creativity, quick thinking, and reacting are all rewarded here.

I am more than the hands pulling the strings, I am more than a puppet, I am human. And games like this can only be made by humans, who get that specific itch that only video games that challenge us can scratch. It's not an itch everyone has, but that's why it's my GOTY and not yours, innit?

With its unique setting, its wonderful music, its cozy hub area, its narrative that offers just enough to make me care, but not so much that I am bored or feel misled, its amazing boss designs, and its wonderfully tactile and engaging combat, Lies of P is a game I just can't stop feeling something about whenever I am reminded of it.

It epitomizes so much -- not all, but much -- of what I love about what video games can do, what adaptations can do, and much like how Toby Fox was inspired by Mother 3, what people can do when they are inspired by someone else's work.

As far as I can tell, this is developer Round8's debut game, and just. Holy hell, what a way to come out swinging. I haven't seen a debut game hit this hard since, I don't know, Bastion.

Close your eyes. Come to me. Feel all right.

I did, and I do, and given what you teased at the end of this game, I have extremely high hopes of what you come up with next. And in a landscape where things feel more difficult to get excited for with each passing year, much less new IP, it's so damn refreshing to have both Hi-Fi Rush and this game standing out as signals that, hey, some folks are still willing to invest bigger budgets into new games, new ideas.

Again, a battle of centimeters here and at this point I should wrap this up and go to bed.

But yea, Lies of P reminded me of what makes me, specifically, human, in a very particular way that only it has. And I honestly think out of all of single player games of 2023, I think it will actively stand out in my heart the most in the years to come.

[a-dauntless-daffodil]

dang that was cuuuuuute. Spell the Beans my beloved <3

the pairing of Duce slowly (with Frankie's frank observation skills) realizing that his mom glossed over a LOT of bullying in all her triumphant monster high stories, and then seeing Dacula being so worried about his daughter's future, him working to get where he is so Draculaura would have it easier- and how he DIDN'T accept her witchcraft at first! Because he was worried it'd make life HARDER for her!

That was a gooooooooood writing choice. Finding out how one parent did have it hard makes seeing the other one worrying about their kid just, chef's kiss.

(the implication that Mortimer the delivery dragon might have been one of Medusa's only friends at school ;_;)

(her HIDING in his den of missing things bc it was her only safe space there ;A;)

i AWWWWED out loud at the retelling of Lyra and Medusa's meet cute.... someone tripped up Medusa (again) and Lyra was there to catch her! She fell head over heels for Lyra, literally <3

(thank u monster high people for making Lyra SO bird like she got TALONS she got WING ARMS she SING TALKS i LOVE IT)

everyone trying to eat the human dad and Apollo Wolf (now THAT is a name) using.... water skiing metaphors.... to help the head monster with child raising. he's so excited to be there and he helps but oh gosh yes please get him out of there

Frankie was MVM this ep tho.

Between spear heading the search for the next talisman, accidentally helping Duce understand his mom better (and clean his room), AND coming in clutch at the end figuring out an excuse for how Toralei got her hands on witch stuff without any of the current students being a witch- Thank you, big sparkling brain bits, you did good work tonight

also love that it took to the VERY END of the ep for Toralei to stop going after Drac and finally give her and her witchery a pass.

we see what her mom is like. we see how much it's gotta be costing her, to not only "waste" her mom's time but not even have anything to show for it. ayyyyye but the character growth is slowly kicking in! Yes.

i just stared at Drac's face a lot this ep. poor ghoul was going through it most of the time, but that last ending smirk as she fakes a ghost witch was a Treat >:D

[sonicchaoscontrol]

[Update time!]

Forgoing the bold text for now to go over some stuff. We’re four pages in, past the scheduled timeframe, so what’s next? And also, wow, I have no way to verify if all of those are real people blogs, but DANG. THANKS. LOVE THAT FOR ME. 2,000 is a LOT of goobers ahahaha ANYWAY updates below the break

-WHERE PAGES???

So once again, I can only draw so fast, and ‘recovery’ proceeds apace when it comes to revamping stuff. There will not be an update this Saturday for the simple fact that I’m behind on storyboarding & have nothing finished to show - that’s fine! I do need to figure out if we’re staying on the ‘only post on Saturdays’ rule, and only when there’s a finished page to share, though. Do I post in multi-page chunks? One by one? I don’t know what’s preferred around here, & I’m still working that one out. Send help.

-WHERE DISCORD???

It exists in a semi-functional state, but I don’t feel justified in opening up a public discord server for Sonic things when there’s so little content on this blog, right now. I’m not a trusted enough name yet, so let me at least get a bit further in before I open the floodgates (Unless people are literally just desperate to have a space to talk hedgehogs. I know this existed last time, but I want to make sure it’s the right call at the right time!)

-WHERE MOD???

Hi! I’ve been busy! And while I still have plenty of concept stuff and bonus content to fling at the dashboard, a lot of it pertains to stuff I can’t show yet because lmao spoilers. I’ve been a little distracted when it comes to getting work done on this due to an IRL job search + cleaning up digital spaces, but no, there’s no hiatus, I’m still goin’. We’ll get there when we get there!

That said, thank you for sticking around while I try my best to get things rolling again. Have a swell day!

[tmwcs]

HHP Chapter 5 pt 10 (18+MDNI) Last part!

Yay! Last bit of the chapter, i told you it was a long one. Had tumblr not be so dang difficult, this should really only be divided into 4 parts, but i guess we'll settle with 10. I really hope it didn't disrupt the format of the dialect, i wanted that to flow smoothly because to me, it was really smexay! ;)

At that you continue, and just as he was waiting for, the moment he felt the warmth engulf his tip, he drives it in, his weight drops atop of you and you are rendered helpless and trap as he rams himself into you repeatedly, pumping the pleasurable sensation into you as you nearly screamed in euphoria. It was intense, even for Heeseung being without his Ethan side, it was hard love, which made it more interesting and different from all the other moments you and Heeseung had sex. Sure, there was always a little bit of roughness and intensity, but this time, the level of aggression was stronger. It was tearing you apart. Moaning, breathing, and groaning, a series of various sounds came out of both your mouths, it was just you that felt the difference this time around, Heeseugn felt it too as he became more vocal than all the other times. With each thrust, he groaned as he propped himself higher, taking an expanding view of you as he pelted each hard thrust into you.

Watching your hair delicately covering your face as you screamed in pleasure, your face off to the side and tilted, uncontrollably quivering your lips, he found the view irresistible as he leans his face into your ear, propelling his repeated groans into your ear so that you could hear his voice of pleasure at the expense of fucking you into oblivion.

His deep gasping groans mixes in with your high-pitched airy moans, all of it slurred together in harmony and filled the car with echoes of passion and lust. He increases speed as he continues to get close. With each time, sex with Heeseung was always a lengthy one, he took his time, even moments when he did grow close, he’d slow the process just so he could make it last longer and savor the feeling.

Reaching up, he licks his thumb before submitting his hand down, using the saliva coated extremity to trace circles onto your clit as he continues to thrust hard and fast. Arching your back, you scream and gasped, calling out his name in a begging tone, though what you were begging for was unknown. It just felt right to call out his name, to whine it out, to moan and scream as the sounds of moisture thrusting in and out of you increased.

“Uh! Fuck…I’m gonna cum.”

Holding on to his arms, you lift your head to look down, wanting to watch him do the act of releasing inside you. Noting this, Heeseung takes his hand and cradles the back of your head to provide support as he continues to thrust, allow enough space to remain between your bodies so you could have a clear view. Joining in on the sight, he looks down, his forehead rest atop of your hair as you both continue to moan and watch his sloppy thrusts.

“Fuck baby…”

“He…Heeseung!”

With one final thrust, he drives his length in deep, so deep. His whole muscle disappears for only a second as he pulls back just an inch so that you were able to see his shaft pulsating, pumping, and twitching as majority of it remains inside you. Feeling the gush of ecstasy escape you as you fall into your orgasm, your hands provide support to his weight as you place them on his groin and chest, feeling his body shake as he cums for a lengthy period.

A few moments of pulsating repeatedly, he finally comes to rest as he drives the length back in and rests on top of you, his shaft still somewhat hard as it took its moments to go back to its normal state.

Breathing deeply against one another, you both engage in a passionate kiss as you rested for nearly a half hour, riding and breathing out your sexual highs.

After collecting yourselves and cleaning up, you both continue your trip back to his room, feeling deeply relaxed from the release you both had. 

So relaxed in fact, Heeseung had forgotten to grab his hat and phone from the back before resuming the drive. Offering to reach around to retrieve both items for him, he asks you to look and see at who called him and if they had left a voicemail, unlocking his screen, you noted that there was no voicemail, also the phone number wasn’t saved in his contacts, appearing as unfamiliar number.

“They didn’t’ leave a voicemail but they did sent a text.” You stated as you saw the notification of the phone number’s text count.

Heeseung looked perturbed as he furrowed his brows slightly, asking you to read the area code, in which he failed in recognizing.

“Can you open the texts and see what they said?” He asks you.

You nodded and opened the contents, looking it over, your eyes widened just a tad as you became unsure if you should tell him. With his eyes remaining focused on the road, noting you were silent, he asks causally, unaware of the meaning of your delayed response.

“Whose it from?”

……

“It’s from Tiff…”

[esorydoolb]

Death Star (a piece of Starfield writing)

a/n: dang I just remembered that I'd been writing down my experience of playing Starfield as a sort of personal log of my captain .. unfortunately not all of it, but a nice chunk of the main story up until the encounter with the hunter. 5k words! that I totally forgot about, which is why I didn't continue writing it (I got sucked too much into the game to keep up with it), but now the document resurfaced and I'm baffled it even exists. it's like finding one of your old diaries lol. interesting! to read the adventures of baby-alan (my spacefarer).

Ok I remember why I wanted to write down certain events ... I actually felt really emotional when I played through them. Prime example .. the Hunter encounter. so here's a piece of fanfic that I never intended to publish, but I'm doing it now anyway, raw and without proof-reading because it's literally supposed to be

a journal entry after the events of "High Price to Pay", from Captain Alan's personal log

Death Star

warnings: major character death and spoilers.

My pirating activities were put on hold. I entered the coordinates to grav-jump us into orbit around Jemison, in order to secure the newest Artifact piece at the Lodge. 

Something was entirely wrong. As soon as I stepped foot into the now welcoming familiar place, I took a turn and headed into the basement to clean and adjust my weapons. It took me about a minute to realize that it was eerily quiet around me while I fiddled with the magazine of my Maelstrom assault rifle. Irritated, I made my way back upstairs to see Sam, Noel and Mateo gathered around the Comm Table. Vasco uttered something about Noel sounding distinctly distressed. That's when I paid attention to the feeling in the air. Something big was lingering there. Something monumentally big, like the size of a natural disaster. I joined my friends around the table. The feed showed a frozen image of the Eye – nothing spectacular, since it was usually quiet in space. 

Noel sounded indeed distressed. No reply from the Eye. No new video images. I asked what the situation up there had been, before the communication to the Lodge had been cut off. Then a voice interrupted us. Vladimir's. 

He was in immediate danger. Being hunted, threatened for his life. His words were breathless, even shorter than usual. I wanted to know about the others – Barrett, who had been stationed up there to help fix the computers. Vladimir said something about a lot of blood, sounding horrified, and my own blood froze in my veins. My mind had already formed a decision. Every word that came afterwards became harder and harder to focus on. Only, it was the voice of a stranger who spoke up next, with so much ice in his spoken threats that I involuntarily shrank away, shivers spiking my skin. The Starborn was on its way to hunt us down next – and the Artifacts, right here in the Lodge. Sam had reached for his Coachman, looking more alarmed than back when we were rescuing his ex-partner. Or maybe it was my own perception of the situation that made every alarm bell in my head sound. 

We had to defend the Lodge next, the Eye had already capitulated. At that moment, nothing really registered in my brain. I had already formed a decision, and I was going to go through with it. I told the others that I would rescue our friends. The Artifacts played no role for me! What was a breakthrough in the exploration of our universe worth in the face of saving our loved ones? Sam seemed confused about my choice of priority, his face portraying a mix of determination and concentrated fear. The Lodge didn't have any defenses – save for Coe, Vasco, and some scientists. I looked Sam hard in the eye and told him my final words. I wished them good luck. As I turned around, my stomach formed into hard metal and my fingers gripped my weapon like an anchor, an anchor that could secure the life of my friends and not make me hesitate even in the face of death. Somewhere deep inside, I had the conviction that I could trust Sam to defend his friends just as well as I intended to do, that I could leave things down here in his capable hands. Perhaps it was a thought born out of our recently developed trust and friendship. Or I imagined myself to know him better than he himself maybe did. When the piercing cry of Walter shook me out of my tunnel vision, I bit my teeth together and forced myself to walk away.

It was the first time in a long while that I was traveling without a companion. Even Vasco would have been a great relief instead of this newfound loneliness. But I couldn't go back. I knew I had to do this on my own. Moara was still guarding the ship, and I got there as fast as possible. Without a word, I sat in the pilot seat and lifted off. The iron kept close to my side, I embarked on the most important mission in my life up until this point. I couldn't imagine the state Barrett was in right now. I had to see it with my own eyes. 

I had never piloted my ship this flawlessly before. The docking module attached like a helping hand reaching out to me. My friends were in need of my help. The space station was quieter than I liked. I couldn't see anything amiss, except the overbearing sensation of everything having gone horribly bad. I headed through the right-hand airlock first, and my breath spluttered. Barrett, sitting half-upright on the floor and grasping his side, faced my way. He had the audacity to joke about his ineffective charms in this situation, and I wanted to close my eyes and breathe a sigh of utter relief that he was alive. I took his shivering hands into mine and studied his condition. He expressed his gratitude for my appearance, and it was clear to me that he could have given up the fight without me showing up in time. I gave him some first aid and watched miraculously as he got up on his feet before urging me to keep looking for the others. 

Sarah, Vladimir and Andreja were somewhat in a stable condition. Their reports matched up, describing a supernatural enemy who took them by surprise and attacked them mercilessly. With every word, I feared more what awaited our friends planetside. I let them know my thoughts and helped Barrett and Sarah board my ship, while Andreja and Vladimir stayed behind to catch their breaths. I would never know if I truly regretted my decision to leave the Lodge in the first place. I had acted on pure instinct, prioritizing my friends before the Artifacts, not realizing that the Starborn was after the very same. And that this monster didn't care what would happen to those guarding them. 

The regret was gnawing at me as I hurried to land the machine safely on Jemison. Everything seemed fine as I saw the front door of the Lodge – and then, nothing was. 

Destruction. Ash and rubble. Something indescribable had swept through the inside of the place. Not angrily, but deadly, like a dying star taking with it the life of anything that had previously blossomed in its light. The first person I recognized was Sam's lifeless form lying in a pool of his own blood. Barrett, even in his hurt state, hurried to pull his friend into his lap, cradling his face, muttering no no nos. Cora, I absent-mindedly registered looking down onto her father, crying in denial. Me, I hastily ran up to Sam, deep regret lodged into my throat as I kneeled to check his vitals. And found none. No matter how much I wished for it, nothing would ever make him move again. This wasn't what I had wanted. This wasn't what he had deserved for his life. 

I registered the movement of Vasco, Mateo, and Sarah, who mentioned that we had no time to stay here and grief. Noel and Walter were still missing. 

But Cora, she was alone and desperate, shouting at her dad to come back to her. She didn't acknowledge my words. And she was absolutely right – it was my fault that it had ended this way. It felt like a sharp knife stuck in my throat. I had done this to her. Sam's life, slipping through my own helpless hands. His corpse, peacefully resting there in his crimson lifeblood. Every dream he had had, every careful effort to protect his daughter – shattered into irreparable pieces. Barrett's pained voice brought me back to reality. We could – we would – mourn his passing later. Right then, I remembered the feeling of cold metal pressed into my hands, a deadly weapon to avenge my fallen comrade. It was the right thing to do, to hunt the one who had hunted us first. 

On the first floor, Walter looked like he had aged a few years more than he could handle. But his voice was as firm as ever, ordering me to follow Noel, who had managed to escape holding the Artifacts. The three of us who were able to fight took the basement exit through the Well. We didn't have to search for long, as Noel had barely managed to move with all the metal weighing her down. There was no time for exchanges. Out of thin air, the Hunter manifested into space, an unidentifiable form of light and body mass. I fought to keep my cool, firing every armor-piercing bullet in the chamber of my pistol, not seeing it have any effect on the alien form. I tried using my powers on him, with the same lack of result. The realization hit me that this was not the moment to let my emotions take over. If I wanted to avenge my friend, I had to make it out of here alive, and that meant to retreat from the enemy that I wanted dead most of any living being in the universe. Fear overrolled me at that moment, leaving me devoid of any rational thoughts except of the instinct to escape as fast as humanly possible. Luckily I was still in full armor wearing my suit and jetpack, and the oxygen meter repeatedly lit up with warning signs of depleted resources. Distantly, I heard the screams of multiple civilians caught by the wrath of the Hunter. The pain in my chest from running away instead of helping to protect them fueled in return my strength, and I swore to myself that this would not be the last time we met. Pure chaos unfolded on the way to the Spaceport. These innocent people had no way of explaining the horrifying events. I still had only one goal in focus. To make it to my ship, with the Artifacts and my friends in one piece. As I fell into my piloting seat and switched on all systems for lift-off, it felt like we were caught in a bizarre nightmare. Space was our escape. The infinite black sea that was Sam's favorite place. 

Barrett confirmed that we should regroup with Vladimir, who could make sense of what to do next. Sense, that was the keyword, because nothing in my own head seemed to add up to form a logical thought. I acted on auto-pilot, racing the ship once more towards the broken Eye. Of course, we were not alone. A huge ship appeared out of nowhere, yet again. This time, the voice coming through the comms sounded like that of a master playing with his toys. Hardly irritated, moreover, like it was enjoying this little game with its surprising turns. It sardonically expressed its amusement in reaction to my confusion and submission. I just didn't want any more deaths on our side. If it meant kneeling in front of the enemy, so be it. It almost came as a disappointment when the Starborn dismissively exclaimed that it would leave us alone, for now. Something was predestined to happen, and I was supposed to play a major role. As if all that had occurred between the Hunter's arrival and now had been completely pointless. Life went on as before, with Constellation still in possession of the Artifact collection, which the Starborn had called the 'Armillary'. Not as if the Starborn had officially waged war against Constellation.

In the meantime we had left Vladimir and Andreja, they had come up with a first damage report. The fact that the Starborn were looking for the Artifacts just like us, implied that they needed us and the Eye to find them for them. Now we had to decide where to keep them so they didn’t have the chance to catch us off-guard again. It was a tough choice. I leaned towards hiding them on a far planet, where there was little civilization and less chances of being tracked down. But that also meant leaving them in a hidden stash, unprotected. Barrett made the decisive argument that on my ship, at least we could always have an eye on them and they were never in the same place. He could also help me improve my ship building knowledge. I needed a proper warship for this. It was not the best solution, I still felt plenty of anxiety about my new job as guardian of the Artifacts, but we couldn’t have the same mistake happen a second time. 

When I entered the devastated city once again, it was raining fire and ash. Every step felt heavy. The recent events had changed everything. I hadn't realized it until it had been too late, but today I had lost a true friend, a respected father and an explorer after the heart of his ancestor. In the end, he had died a soldier who had put his life on the line in order to protect the values he'd been living for, as a part of Constellation. He had worried about his past mistakes. He had worried about the safety of his daughter. He had wanted to do everything better to redeem himself for her. I had appreciated his calmness when we had traveled the vastness of outer space. It had been a comfort that was hardly noticed when it was there, but then, it was dearly missed when it was gone. Every time I would look at the Armillary, I was reminded of him. This feeling of helplessness and guilt. 

I worried about what it meant for me and for Constellation. The first thing I wanted to do was drink myself into a stupor. Just to numb the pain, but I knew I could never forget. The pain of having a comrade taken away from you without warning. It changed my perception of the balance of power in the universe. Who had the right to decide over matters of life and death? Was the unwanted violence in any way justifiable if it meant survival? Could I continue my life unstained by displaced morality, fighting for a system of justice that was easily broken and upended by mysterious, uncontrollable unknowns? In all of this, there was no doubt about the true enemy we were facing. The Starborn were merciless monsters who abused their powers to torture and manipulate us. There was nothing humane left in them, if there ever was. It fostered feelings of undeniable ire in me.