#i love fuery so much now

[musing-and-music]

Royai week 2023 fic recs

In honor of Royai week in the Fruits & Roots server, I chose to highlight some of my favorite Royai fics I gathered these past years (not many years, since I've been on AO3 for 2 years and a half only). Each day, I'll recommend a few fics in a particular setting

Day 6: Choice of Song: Liar, Amend, All Things End, If We Were Vampires - Pre-Canon fics

Pre-canon is Roy and Riza's childhoods, Roy's years of apprenticeship with Riza's father, their time in the academy, Ishval, and the years before the main events of the manga, while the team is still in East City. There's so much to explore with them!

This love by klainelynch / @klainelynch

After a fic, a collab, a podfic, there was only poetry missing!

Just Follow My Lead by jacksparrow589 / @js589

Roy stopped. "You don't know how to dance?" "Not much and not well," Riza clarified. "I remember Father having me dance on his feet once or twice when I was small, and of course there's been dances at festivals, but…" She trailed off. Roy gave her a look that wasn't quite pity. It was almost scrutinizing. "I'll teach you." "I didn't ask you to." It was an utterly feeble excuse, and Riza said it quietly. "Well, do you want to, or shall I?" Roy asked, once again flashing an easy smile that always made Riza's heart speed just a little. All she could do was smile in return. Roy teaches Riza how to dance. It goes… both better and more angsty than expected.

Did you ever say "no" to Royai dancing?

Patience by Perciatelli

A tender gesture over paperwork on a summer evening leads to a revelation.

I'm melting at the softness of this short OS 😍

Five sunflowers, twice a year by GelatoSushi / @gelatosushix

"A note!" Havoc exclaimed. "Ah-ha!" "Havoc, I don't think Lieutenant Hawkeye would enjoy-" Fuery sat up too, his voice cracking slightly. "Now, we'll surely know who these damned flowers are from!" He worked the folded piece of paper, exposing the scratchy handwriting, and, bringing the note up closer to his face, he unsuccessfully tried to decipher the horrible scrawl.  "So?" Breda asked eagerly. "Hold on… God, this dude's handwriting is shit!" "Let me see." Falman stretched his hand out for the note, Havoc happily passing it on.  "Have at it. The writing's almost as bad as the Colonel's." Twice a year, every spring and every autumn, Lieutenant Hawkeye got five sunflowers, bundled together with a red, expensive ribbon, from a mystery man none of them had any clue about. But when the same thing happened the sixth time in a row, Havoc decided it was time for a proper investigation, worthy of the whole team.

Team Mustang is just the best here, and if you're feeling down this might be the best thing to cheer you up!

into each life some rain must fall by firewoodfigs / @firewoodfigs

Six times he stands before a grave in the rain, grieving. But this time, courage is reborn.

Poetic and beautiful, full of angst but with a light of hope

[titanbabyeams]

Roy Mustang never fully connected with the concept of ‘giving your daughter away’ until he released her after walking her down the aisle.

Logically, he knows it’s been a long time in the making. He’s seen less and less of his daughter as she’s grown-up but it’s strange to sit at her wedding reception, knowing she’s officially a part of a family he will only have limited contact with. That she will have an entire life separate from him, regardless of how close they are.

He’s okay with that. It doesn’t feel wonderful, no, but he trusts the man his daughter has chosen to marry. A half-Ishvalan, open-minded and extroverted fellow. They dated for five years before even approaching the topic of marriage. Now, at 23, his daughter is married.

“It’s a dry wedding, I can’t even drown my emotions,” Jean bemoans as he worms his way between Roy and an empty chair.

“Sophia isn’t a fan of alcohol,” Roy explains as if Jean doesn’t already know this, “And we do have at least one sober alcoholic in attendance.” Edward Elric’s oldest child, who is currently pretending to cry in a picture with his newly-wed daughter. He’s quite the character but has always been gentle with Sophia.

“Yeah, yeah. How ya feelin’, Chief? Like you’re losin’ her forever?”

“Please.” Roy tears his eyes away from her—clad in traces of Ishvalan culture, blending with a classic white wedding dress—and to his friend. “She still crawls into bed with me if Simeon leaves early enough. I will not be rid of her, even in death.” Roy’s eyes find his daughter again. She’s beautiful, he’s so proud of her.

Jean barks a laugh, good-natured even after everything. “Don’t sound so disappointed.”

Sophia laughs at something Winry says to her, and Simeon is at her side grinning along. Roy isn’t sure either of them have stopped smiling this entire time. The reception is exclusive only to close friends and families, and neither of them have slipped from their ‘slightly higher than normal’ cheerful demeanor.

“Have you taken a picture with her?” Roy asks Jean. “A serious one, don’t think I didn’t notice that photo you took with her earlier.”

“Hey, it was Fuery’s idea!” Jean defends, “And Sophie loved it so much, she was the first to pose. We did take a serious photo, thank you very much.”

“Good.” Roy smiles, “Good. As eccentric as they may be, I am sure even they will be glad for some more sentimental photos.”

“I’m not sure the Elrics are physically capable of a serious photo,” Jean reaches onto the table to snag a chocolate mint, popping it in his mouth. “Ya should’ve seen Ed earlier, he’s having more fun with this wedding than his own, I swear.”

“Less stressful that way, I’m sure,” He remarks quietly.

“What was that?” Comes the ever-familiar voice of his dearly beloved.

Roy laughs, somewhat nervously. “Nothing, Dear,” He looks over at Riza, “You look lovely. Did you do your hair today?”

She rolls her eyes—but he can see the smile. He’s won. “Come. Sophia would like pictures with her parents.”

“Wow, Chief,” Jean shakes his head, low and disappointed, “Getting on my case and ya haven’t even taken a photo with her yet.”

“Go fuck yourself, Havoc.” Roy stands and pats his friend’s shoulder as he breaks into laughter again.

He takes his wife’s arm in his own. “How did we get so lucky?” He asks her as they weave around the tables.

“Luck.” Riza pats his arm, “And maybe the tiniest bit of paranoia.”

“Funny.”

Sophia catches sight of them and she brightens, as if she wasn’t already the brightest and most gorgeous person in attendance.

He truly, truly regrets nothing that’s led him to this moment.

[shiroi---kumo]

A Prince's Thoughts || Accepting

@expressionbean asked: makenshi + 💭 + kain because updates have happened

⋆˖⁺‧₊☽◯☾₊‧⁺˖⋆ He's frowning at the question because this is the third time he's been asked about the man...And every time his answer has been different. Every time his answer has evolved from what the last one was before it.

"Last we spoke of this, I said I wanted Kain to stay as far away from me as possible and not because I did not like the man but because I did not want to taint him with my filth.

Well now things have changed once again because it seems that even if I were to try to push him away from me or raise some form of wall, Kain Fuery will find a way over it any how. He seems to be the definition of the human saying "show me a ten foot tall wall and I'll find you a twelve foot tall ladder." Kain is relentless."

He's pausing to sigh as arms cross over his chest and the mist that rolls off his lips dissipates when it strikes against his mask.

"He has decided to love me. We have met and he has decided to love me even in all my wretchedness. He has met a few of the others, Little Cloud included, and he has not shamed or shunned us. Somehow even looking into the face of a demon. The very White Devil himself, Kain Fuery has decided that he will stay at my side regardless. How - how did I become so deserving of such a soul?"

His gaze is shifting along the ground for a moment before it rises back up again a faint smiling hanging on normally frowning lips even if they are hidden from sight.

"He...loves me and I must say I very much enjoy his presence. He respects me and wishes for my company. Soil born he may be but he is the kindest most gentle soul I have ever met...and..."

Somehow his hands have moved and fingers have started to fiddle with the ring that wraps around one of them.

"....I don't know how much time remains in this shattered mess of a soul but I - I'm happy to give it to him."

[scienceoftheidiot]

Find the word tag game

I was tagged by @residentdormouse thank youuuu love this game !

My words were: Playful, Energy/Energized, Exhausted, Delight/Delightful, Sorrow

I've only found them in recent stuff (so only FMA/Royai stuff, no original, and I think that's also because I really need to translate more OC stuff 😬 sorry!) AND ! I didn't find sorrow, that I needed to replace by sadness (tried in French, tried other synonyms, nothing).

I tag you back @residentdormouse 😁 and I also tag @qs63 @heirsoflilith @musing-and-music @dairogo @goneadrift @riotbrrrd @trombonesinspace I probably forget some and I'm sorry, this is an open tag so if you see this and you want to do it please do and tag me so I can read your stuff !!!

Your words are : Tender/tenderness/tenderly, sleep, restless, feel/feelings, heart

All my excerpts are under the cut 😊

Playful - Poker Night (complete OS - AO3)

"That's it, I'm done," Roy pushed all his chips and cards towards Breda. "This game is only about luck. There is no skill and no honour in winning at poker."

"No honour, maybe, but you owe me a hundred cenz, boss," laughed Breda as he grabbed the chips and counted them. "And I won two rounds with less than what you had on your current hand."

"Pokerface, boss! Gotta work on yours." Havoc clapped Roy's back.

"Work on being a better loser, too, maybe?" Breda snatched the couple of notes Roy was handing him. "At least Fuery is gracious about it."

Roy got up with another groan, leaning on his closed fists on the table.

"I should have you sacked, the lot of you."

"Nah, boss, you'd miss us."

"Everyone's so fond of you, where else would you get your reality check?"

Roy glared at Havoc. The line was very fine between playful banter and insubordination, and he and Breda were currently doing somersaults over it.

"Clean this all and get out, before I snap."

Energy - WIP (codename : dismissed Roy)

She had the time to identify the glint in his eyes, fixed on something that wasn't there – terror. But she didn't have the time to stop him from tackling her, and she could only brace herself before he caught her, clumsily, his hands crushing against her before grabbing at her ferociously, nails digging into her skin.

She wouldn't be taken by surprise again.

"Roy!"

She caught his wrist and pulled it in his back, her other hand snaking around his neck, while he kept squirming, thrashing about. He managed to hit her in the shin with his heel. But she wasn't going to let go. Her leg caught his, and she kept it locked.

Contrary to him, she had gotten back to full training as soon as she'd been cleared by her doctor. Roy himself had barely found the time and most of all the energy after his days in rehab to do much more than a set of pushups a day, and maybe a little more on weekends.

She pulled on his arm again, carefully. She could effectively break his wrist, and she was very aware of this.

"Roy. Roy. It's okay. You're home. You're safe. I'm here. Riza. It's Riza."

He was pushing against her, his free hand pulling on the arm she had curled around his neck. She pushed back, and he ended up with his face almost buried in the bedsheets.

He struggled again for a couple of seconds, then relented. The only part of him that still moved was his chest, heaving rapidly. Riza could feel the frantic beating of his heart in her own chest.

Exhausted - WIP (codename : "bitch, you live like this?")

"Damn, you drink classy, now." Hughes reclined in his wooden chair after finishing his pint of dark ale, taking in the shining brass and polished wood from the pub.

"East City's not Central. We don't have much choice between classy and shady. This is not the classiest place, by the way, I don’t have enough money to go there for fun."

They had run out of news and gossip, and Hughes himself was running low on stories about Gracia and Elicia – a sign he was at least a little tired from his trip. He wasn’t a field soldier anymore.

Roy himself felt the first pint had mellowed him, a warm torpor starting to get through his exhausted body, pulling the corner of his lips into a content smile.

"I take it this is where you take your conquests."

Roy scowled and hummed, his gaze following the waitress, out of habit more than anything.

“Or maybe it’s the waitresses you like. Oh, yeah,” Hughes snickered. “I wonder why.”

He waved at her, and she walked towards their table, her skirt flowing, and her blonde hair shining under the soft light.

Delightful - WIP (codename : dismissed Roy) - there is nothing explicit here but this is the onset of some smut so proceed with caution, you might consider this nsfw

He cleared his throat.

“So, you are committed.”

Riza had an embarrassed chuckle.

“Guess I am.” To underline her affirmation, she tugged on his shirt so that he’d take it off, which he dutifully did before pulling her own top over her head, and throwing both garments away. His hands went back to her waist, her chest, her back, pulling her against him – she followed his pull with a sigh.

Her skin against his. This was delightful. Her silky hair was brushing the hands that caressed her back – the only reminder to him of the tattoo there, being what he had been asked to do to destroy it. His fingers tentatively brushed the scars, testing what her reaction would be. When she didn’t show any discomfort, he placed his palm over the burnt marks, hugging her yet tighter. The last time he had touched her there, it was to tend to them, right after he inflicted them on her.

He remembered waiting, keeping watch over her in the dry hotness of the desert. They were sheltered from the sun, but a few rays had managed to seep through the windows he’d blocked in their hide. He’d watched the dust dance in this light for hours, monitoring her feverish sleep.

Roy only realized he’d been lost in those bitter memories when Riza moved, kissed him gently on the cheek, then pressed her forehead against his temple. Then she managed to push his hand a little lower. Roy smirked.

“Lieutenant Hawkeye. Always perfectly clear in her demands.”

Sorrow - no occurrence of sorrow or sorrowful, so you get sadness 😅 - Phone call (complete OS - AO3)

He took her hand and gently pulled her up, seeing with a pang of sadness that she still behaved like a stringless puppet, following his push without showing neither want nor dislike.

"Look at me, Riza."

The surprise at him using her first name seemed to pull her out of her torpor, and she looked him in the eye.

"Good. Look. I'm here. All in one piece. You didn't shoot me." Unsure of where to place his hands, he put them on her waist - a light touch, as if they were at a formal dance. He wouldn’t dare anything more intrusive than that. "You never did. You came close ... But you didn't have to. You pushed me back on the right track. You always do. And I always follow."

He could get lost in her dark amber eyes for hours if he had nothing else to care about. But he had to care for her, right now. And he couldn't bear the fact that these eyes were rimmed red. Slowly, he brought his arms around her shoulders, pulling her close. He let out a sigh as her own arms circled his waist and he nudged his head in the crook of her neck - careful to choose the right side.

[bardengarde]

For the ask game: T and X with fma

Sorry for taking so long to answer!!!

So a lot of my headcanons tend to be for Riza Hawkeye tbh because I used to rp as her a lot way back in the day

I'm a huge fan of the idea that Riza is bisexual and her and Rebecca were ~roommates~ while they were in military training and they totally had a fling. Does this break every fraternisation law ever? Totally. Do I care? No

Once watched an animatic that pretty much implied that Berthold had Riza's hair cut short because she looked too much like her deceased mom with it long and I adopted that headcanon as well- animatic can be found here.

I also had this au where Riza was a horse girl and actually had a horse that belonged to her mom that she took care of after her mom passed away but I'd almost consider it my own personal headcanon for her backstory now and I totally plan on drawing some stuff about it!

In the same vein, I headcanon Roy Mustang to ironically be absolutely incompetent around horses and was definitely chased out of pasture by the one Riza had at least once.

AUGH THIS IS HARD LMAO

Riza Hawkeye for sure, beloved blorbo

Alphonse Elric because of course???

Jean Havoc bc I love a himbo

Kain Fuery bc he's precious and deserves more love

Andddddd Winry Rockbell bc she's really sweet and tough and deserves so much love

[justaradioguy]

@flameleads is being open for once ->

"I love you too, Sergeant." The words were quiet as Roy endeavored to make direct eye contact with Fuery. "I don't typically get to say those things because of my position, but, well... we're not exactly in typical circumstances here." One hand gestured to their current surroundings in Wonderland. "You're not just another soldier to me. You're my family, and I will do everything possible to protect you."

The words seem to hit him in an almost physical way, and not only because emotions are high.

He doesn't have anything to do with his hands except fidget nervously, and his face has already started to tense up as he tries to process what he's just been told.

There's no doubt in his mind that Roy is a person who cares for his men, but there have been doubts about just how far that extends to someone like him. He knows better than to ask for clarification or even a response to anything he says, though. He's not willing to do anything that would jeapordize Roy in any way - his goals are vastly more important than a bad day of Kain's.

However, now, after several years of continued, unwavering loyalty and being hurled into a hostile, unfamiliar world, it's... very nice to be offered something affirming. He's not looking up anymore, and all he can manage for what he thinks is a proper reply is using what little he has in him to push himself to the edge of his bed to close more distance between them both.

If Roy's not going to keep up with the expectations that don't apply to this new place, neither will Kain. He doesn't know what details Roy knows of the situation he'd been placed in before this whole Wonderland teleportation fiasco and he doesn't plan to tell him about it or about what had happened outside the Comodeen, but he's still been shaken enough to want to make triple sure that the people he loves know that he loves them.

And so, he wraps his arms around the alchemist as tight as he can. As much as Roy is an excellent leader, strategist, and combatant, he isn't any of that to Kain right now. Right now, he's another human being just barely less lost than Kain. Right now, he is a friend. Right now, he is someone who probably needs the hug more than Kain does, even if it will never be spoken.

"Thank you," he says, his voice only a notch above a choked whisper. "Thank you so much."

[limetameta]

Kimblee: Dr Morsels will ask you if you ever considered a different career path - you're obviously going to tell her yes - because nobody actually dreams of being a soldier. I wanted to be a world famous piano player when I was six. People change. That's normal and a part of the human experience. *waves his finger* How-ev-er! You still need to be able to sell that your dream job when you were six does in no way impact your will and desire to do your job properly now. Now let's hear your dream careers. Except for Mustang, we all know he wants to be Fuhrer one day when he grows up.

Fuery: I wanted to be a radio host show. :D

Kimblee: But?

Fuery: I managed to incorporate my love for radio with my telecommunication expertise and further help the military benefit from it. It was a great jumping off point that piqued my interest when I was a kid!

Kimblee: Excellent! Great job, Fuery.

Fuery: :D

Havoc: I almost wound up in the family business with our Havoc general store, but I wanted bigger things for myself and I liked the Military Academy. Lots of girls love a military man. I'm happy with where I am right now. Feel like I can do more good in the military than in a general store.

Kimblee: *proud thumbs up* Breda?

Breda: I joined for the money.

Kimblee, nodding: The most valid reason. She'll respect the honesty.

Armstrong: I joined because it's just what my family does.

Kimblee: This is not a good answer, Armstrong. She'll pick you apart and come to a realisation that the only reason why you're in the military is because you're scared of who you'd be without the status it brings you. Say something else. Okay, Hughes!

Hughes: My dad wanted me to be a lawyer, I didn't want to be a lawyer but I wanted a steady job with benefits so I became a soldier. Plus, to piggyback off of what Havoc said: girls love a military man! And I found my sweet Gracia this way! Then I show like ten photographs of Gracia and Elicia?

Kimblee: I love the photograph lead in, but keep it to four at most. Morsels doesn't care about our private lives and we can't overwhelm her with details. Mustang - wow us!

Mustang: *clears throat* Ahem, so, when I was but a wee little boy *a story that sounds so profound and heart wrenching it makes most of the military men cry*

Kimblee, one of the few people not driven to tears: Did you really lift this from a Dikins novel like we wouldn't be able to tell?

Mustang: You told me to make things up.

Kimblee: Not this much! Tone it down. *turns to Hawkeye* You're up next.

Hawkeye: I've actually been thinking the entire time what I wanted to be as a kid, or if I had any other career paths in front of me and...I didn't.

Kimblee: You didn't want to be an alchemist when you grew up? Or a hunter? Nothing your mom ever did inspired you?

Hawkeye: I just remember this memory from my childhood when I was six where I just wanted to go into the forest and not come out until I died. I realised my presence was just a burden for others and that I'd be better off gone.

Kimblee, blinking: I may need to spend a little more time coaching you. Riza, you can't say these things to a psychological evaluator. You'll be discharged. This is basically suicidal-ideation at age six. A preescholer shouldn't have the capacity for such thoughts. *looking at the only parent there* Right, Hughes?

Hughes: Elicia's two and she wants to be a pumpkin when she grows up! TT-TT Hawkeye, this is alarming!

Mustang: Lieutenant, I had no idea you felt like this?

Hawkeye, crossing her arms, frowning: It doesn't affect my ability to shoot people and do my job correctly. So it shouldn't affect anything. There's nothing to be concerned about.

Kimblee: I'd like to live in the world you live in, but unfortunately we live in a world where people like us need to be actors to get by. So, when she asks you about potential career paths - you tell her you wanted to be a -

Hawkeye: Writer.

Kimblee: Excellent. It fits you perfectly, you're withdrawn enough for it to sell and yet intelligent enough for someone to buy it.

Team Mustang: Can we unpack the bit about Hawkeye wanting to kill herself at age six, please?

Kimblee and Hawkeye: No.

Kimblee: We don't have enough time.

[nightofnyx8]

Okay but is it too weird to say "I'm glad you got bullied into this"??

Anyway, 3, 7 and 29 for the AO3 wrapped ask 👀 ❤️

3. What work are you most proud of (regardless of kudos/hits)?

Oh, I'd probably say Interpose. That fic has around 30 kudos, I believe. I remember being a little discouraged by it because that thing took so much work, but looking back on it I'm really proud of it. It was the fic that allowed me the most liberty in characterization, plot, and prose, and really pushed me as a writer and a storyteller. And when my current Spy x Family WIP is finished, it's a fic I'd love to go back to someday :)

7. If you use song lyrics, which artist's songs did you pull from the most?

Hmm, all my song titles are from different artists lol. The ones I used are Taylor Swift, Ella Fitzgerald, Tommee Profitt, Eric Whitacre, and this really old song sung in WWI :) And none of them are related to each other at all lol. On a side note, the poet I most used for my fic titles was Clariel Estevez ❤️

29. Favorite line/passage you wrote this year?

The Colonel stares straight at Fuery, and he feels a shiver go down his spine. Mustang’s eyes are as dark as he can remember. “And then he takes you, the youngest and most inexperienced member of my team, and sends him into an active war zone.” His laugh is hollow and without humor, as if he’s laughing at his own private joke. “Like a pawn to be slaughtered.” (interpose)

-

On Monday, she’ll go back into the office and be Detective Hawkeye once again. Perhaps even Elizabeth for a few hours if needed. He’ll give her his orders and she’ll follow them without a shadow of a doubt. They have a mission to complete and a goal to climb to the top, not to mention an entire system to topple and realign. But for now, she treasures the moments where he kisses her slow before running his fingers through her hair, lips whispering her name for as long as the night stands still. (if the stars could speak)

ao3 wrapped asks

[hawksights]

@shiroi---kumo asked:

"Miss Riza." He starts coming to her in the late hour, finding her unable to sleep "Are you alright? Would you like some tea?I brought you some."

He smiles as he passes her over a warm mug filled with a lavender chamomile tea.

"I do home I am not overstepping my bounds here but I got wind that today is quite special you see." He says as he sets down to take a spot next to her.

"So I had Cid help mount this for me. I thought a bracelet would be most suited as to got get in the way of your marksmanship."

And he presents a leather band fitted with what appear to be three small white crystals but should one look closely it appears as if there are clouds trapped within.

"As Mistericans, we would give such gifts to our loved ones so they may keep a piece of us with them. These crystals are made from the compression of my mist, you see so they are one of a kind objects. I just thought, since it is your birthday, it would be nice to have something special is all. I do hope this day as been a peaceful one for you."

It wasn't a secret that she didn't sleep well during the night, apparently. First, it was Fuery, and his company was more than welcome---his and Chicken's. She didn't realize how much she missed just talking to someone, whether it be casual or a heavier conversation. The time of day didn't matter as much, but, with recent fears making themselves known, she preferred a late night talk while a Chocobo poked around her room.

Now, though, it seemed it was White Cloud's turn to find her awake at an odd time. She could smell the tea. With a smile, she happily accepted the mug, putting aside the Colonel's notebook. It was something to read, and he trusted her with his thoughts, even the ones that didn't make much sense. His notes proved to be a distraction too, one she currently didn't need.

As White Cloud spoke more, she had to wonder if he was the culprit behind him knowing what day it was. She never told anyone when her birthday was. Ever. Her eyebrows went up in slight surprise. White Cloud didn't... he didn't get her anything, did he? He didn't have to. No one ever had to. Gifts weren't commonplace on her birthday anyway.

"You really didn't..." She stopped herself. It wasn't polite to say no to a gift. Carefully, she took the bracelet he offered her into both hands, eyes tracing over the details. Leather material---that would be durable. The crystals... they were beautiful. Were those clouds inside of them? How was that even... this was Wonderland. Just because it wasn't possible in Amestris didn't mean it was impossible here.

And he said it wouldn't get in the way of her marksmanship. He wanted her to have something nice for her birthday. Her. Something nice.

She didn't have nice things. She didn't deserve nice things. What if she broke it? Or lost it? What then?

Tears welled up in her eyes, and she couldn't look at White Cloud. Words weren't immediately coming to mind either. This was such a kind and thoughtful gift, something he put a lot of thought into, and she didn't know what to even say.

So, she led with what she always did.

"I'm sorry," she managed to choke out, "I don't... this... this is beautiful. Thank you. I'm just not used to having nice things. I've never deserved anything nice. Thank you, White Cloud. I don't... I'm sorry. I don't know what to say."

[harcidian]

You ideas for a FMA & Spy x Family Royai AU are just *chef kiss*!!!

I love the idea of the Elrics being adopted by Roy and Riza, and I think Winry is their classmate because the Rockbell family has had a change of fortune after the death of Winry’s parents (government money to "compensate"). Pinako is now on a quest to prove the government is behind their assassination

Fuery as Franky, of course!

Roy and Riza fighting against each other before they know their goals align, then they work together and fall in love

Arranged marriage with enemies to coworkers to lovers, with found family and conspiracy... I'm 😍😍😍

RAPHI HELLLOO so sorry it took me weeks to respond but thank you so much for letting me know about your thoughts on my FMA x SPYxFAMILY AU! YES Winry and Ed's dynamic would be just like Damian and Anya's (I'm obsessed with Damianya)! And I think Pinako's quest to blame the government on the Rockbell's death is genius! I love that addition! FUERY AS FRANKY HELL YES! Black Hayate as Bond hihi <3 SO CUTE and of course imagine an elicia and selim crackship BWAHAHAHHAHHA I love it Royai fighting each other before realizing they both have the same goals would be PERFECT hHHHHH IM DYING FOR ARRANGED MARRIAGE TO ENEMIES TO COWORKERS TO LOVERS hhh then there's found family and conspiracy and SPY AU OF COURSE I hope this au will expand HAHAH feel free to share more of your ideas too!

[musing-and-music]

J'ai publié 8 478 fois en 2022

C'est 5 323 billets de plus qu'en 2021 !

217 billets créés (3%)

8 261 billets reblogués (97%)

Les blogs que j'ai le plus reblogués :

@magipies

@amarguerite

@jedidragonwarriorqueen

@klainelynch

@tall-wolf-of-tarth

J'ai étiqueté 7 539 billets en 2022

Seulement 11% de mes billets ne comportaient pas de tag

#royai - 1 444 billets

#fma - 1 223 billets

#asoiaf - 809 billets

#fanart - 727 billets

#jaime x brienne - 647 billets

#riza hawkeye - 575 billets

#fanfic rec - 538 billets

#roy mustang - 512 billets

#fanfiction - 450 billets

#brienne of tarth - 342 billets

Longest Tag: 138 characters

#posting a chapter/fic at 11pm and going to bed in the hope i'll have a comment when i wake up since i'm not on the same timezone as others

Mes billets vedette en 2022 :

n°5

I am the only judge

A short text inspired by the conversation following this post on discord. We talked about how Roy is person A and Riza person B, and how Roy closes his heart to avoid being hurt when he loses people he loves and when he knows he might die sooner than later after he's tried for his crimes. My take was that Riza is the one convincing him their relationship is worth being lived, even if their end can be tragic.

"Riza would be the one telling Roy that their relationship is worth being lived. Maybe they'll die, maybe it'll end tragically, but at least they'll have known and loved each other fully, until the end, and isn't that something beautiful? They already have too many regrets in their life, let this not be one more"

Thank you @niconiconina @nightofnyx8 @goneadrift and @smoothshine!! Also I must thank my boss for talking about his vacations in Iceland during coffee break, because the interruption in the writing process made this little thing less angsty than I expected!

Royai, Post-canon, Established Relationship, Fluff, 464 words

37 notes - publié le 25 août 2022

n°4

How can I resist when inspiration hits?

46 notes - publié le 6 janvier 2022

n°3

One thing that i love here is the choice of words for the characters

Cersei - clutch

Clutch also means grip, control, grasp. All of these are things Cersei is known to do. She wants to control other people, like Tommen or Jaime, to have literally her hands on them

Jaime and Brienne- wrestling

They began with words, then swords, now it's their feelings, and we want to see them do it again with each other naked

80 notes - publié le 3 juin 2022

n°2

This man is a fool

Thanks @swordmaid for the template!

I made this on my phone image manager, where I can't italicize text ☹

110 notes - publié le 22 novembre 2022

Mon billet n°1 en 2022

Look at this. Look at this amazing art commission made by the awesome @chewytran !!!

It's the illustration of the last part of Fuery, apprentice in blackmailing (from a dream team's shenanigans)

I love it, I love it so much! There's everything I wanted to convey in this scene! The love, the softness, the longing for something they can't have... it's perfect

Thank you again Chewy!!!

197 notes - publié le 6 avril 2022

Obtenez votre année 2022 en revue sur Tumblr →

[aquietwritingcorner]

Sicktember Day 9: I’m Not Sick Word Count: 1139 Author: aquietwritingcorner/realitybreakgirl Rating: K/G Characters: Riza Hawkeye, Roy Mustang Warning: NA Summary: Riza isn’t feeling well and isn’t telling Roy. She’s not sick. Really, she isn’t! Notes: NA AO3 || ff.net

______________________________________

I’m Not Sick

Riza paused, taking a moment to put a hand on the chair next to her as a sudden dizziness hit. It wasn’t much, and it wasn’t long, but it was there, even it was just for a split second. She fought it off, trying to make it seem like she wasn’t pausing because she was dizzy, but because of some other reason. She was lucky that Roy was otherwise occupied. He would have caught onto her ruse immediately.

He was, though, engaged in a conversation with General Hoffer of Northern Command, and no one in the meeting that had just broken up was paying much attention to her. That was good. That was how she wanted it.

The dizziness passed quickly, and she finished gathering the notes and other papers from the meeting. She took a couple of deep breaths as she stood there, making sure that she was centered before she moved on. Roy had finished talking to the other general, and he seemed ready to go. She, as always, fell into step beside him.

He was in a good mood, the meeting having gone well, and several opportunities having presented themselves. Riza had been able to read him for years. She knew that possibilities and plans were being laid in his mind right now, something that always seemed to put him in a good mood. He was, she knew, at his most content when his brain was thinking through a challenge, even if that challenge was a stressful one.

They made their way back to the office where she arranged the files and folders for him as he started going through the day’s paperwork. She did her job of arranging and laying out the work that he would need to do even as he talked through plans and the like. She listened as he talked to Breda and Havoc, delivering work to him and then to the appropriate boxes, to go elsewhere when the internal mail system came to pick them up.

At one point Fuery left for a coffee run, and she requested some tea from him instead, using that to help settle her stomach that was feeling a bit off. She sipped on it until Roy requested that she go and get them some lunch.

She really didn’t want to go get them food. Just the smell of the coffee was bad enough. But still, he had requested it, so she went to get it. The cafeteria was, fortunately, serving soup alongside the regular meal, and so she got herself a small cup of that to take back as well. The smell of the food made her sick at her stomach, and she stopped more than once on the way back to the office to let her stomach settle, but she managed to shore herself up enough to make it into the office without at least acting like she was sick.

“You’ve not eaten your soup.”

Riza startled, not expecting his voice so close to her. She looked up from her chair at Roy, who was beside her with some reports in hand.

“Oh—so I haven’t. I suppose I was too caught up in work.” It was as lame excuse, but it also wasn’t unreasonable.

He frowned at her, and then reached down for the report she had laid out. “I’ll finish this one. I want you to eat.”

Her stomach protested.

“I’ll be fine—”

“No,” he fixed her with a look. “You need to eat. I want you to do it now.”

There was no changing his mind, she could see that. She sighed and hoped that her stomach would accept the food. “Yes, sir,” she said, and reached for the cup.

He nodded, satisfied, and moved on.

Riza looked at the cup of soup and steeled herself. She reached for it and started eating, trying to look as normal as possible. She could do this. She could do it and not tip him off. She could make sure that she ate seemingly normally. He wouldn’t notice anything wrong and then she’d be able to—

Her stomach rolled.

She bolted to her feet, intending to head for the bathroom. As soon as she did, a wave of dizziness swept over her, and she stumbled, falling and just managing to catch herself on the back of Havoc’s chair. She could hear other chairs scraping back, the calls of alarm, and she pressed a hand to her mouth, trying not to throw up then and there. She recovered herself, and pushed on, heedless of the calls or footsteps behind her. Instead, she kept going, throwing open the office door and moving as fast as her stumbling feet could carry her to the bathroom. She pushed the door open and stumbled to a stall just in time for her stomach to reject everything she had tried to eat, as well what felt like everything from the week before.

It was only after she had finished coughing and sputtering, and a hand reached over her to flush the toilet, that she realized she wasn’t alone. Her head turned, and she looked over to see Roy bent over her, looking at her with concern.

“You should have told me you were sick.”

She blinked up at him. “I’m not sick,” she said.

He frowned. “Yes, you are. I should have seen it earlier. You’ve been quiet all day and a little slower than normal in doing things. You’re a bit pale. You had tea instead of coffee and didn’t eat breakfast or lunch—at least not until I made you. And when you did, you threw it up. Riza, you’re sick.”

She turned so that she could face him a bit more. “No, I’m not, Roy,” she said.

“Ye—”

She shook her head and cut him off. “No, I’m not. I was hoping to wait until tonight to tell you. Roy, I’m pregnant.”

He froze, staring down at her with shock. “You—what?” His eyes traveled down to her stomach. “You’re—You’re—” and hand came down and hovered over her lower belly. His eyes went back to hers. “You’re pregnant?”

She gave him a smile. “Yes,” she said. “I am. That’s why I’ve been sick and pale and off balance. But I didn’t want to tell you like this.”

He knelt down beside her, apparently not caring that they were in a stall in the women’s restroom. “You’re pregnant,” he repeated, and then laughed, reaching out and cupping her face, leaning their foreheads together. “Riza Mustang… I love you.”

She smiled back at him, leaning into his touch. “I love you too, Roy. Sorry I ruined the surprise.”

He shook his head. “Never. You didn’t ruin anything.” He was smiling now. “Nothing could ruin this moment for us. Nothing at all.”

And she believed it.

[shiroi---kumo]

for the url meme @forgotten-teammates

Send me your URL and I'll tell you

My Opinion on;

Character in general: I love one Kain Fuery. I always have but there isn's as much to him in the canon of any form of FMA as there is some of the other members of Team Mustang. The same can be said of Breda but he has a little bit more going for him than Kain does. Falman is also a loveable man who you feel so much for at the end of the series, but they never quite get the spotlight that Havoc, Hawkeye or Mustang do. And then there's Chicken, the baby black chocobo, who was supposed to be a joke muse and now very much is not. I loved him when he was a joke and I love him even though he's not now. He's precious to me, okay?

How they play them: Breda is this gruff man who only comes out when he feels like it but I adore every piece of him when he does. Falman has only come out for one thread but I absolutely adored reading him when he did and now - Now one Kain Fuery. Look Fuery was always important to me ever since I watched FMA 03 back in the day, but now. Fuck now. Kain is one of the most important characters to me and Theo has given Kain so much depth and character and fleshed him out so much. There's personality and quirks and just he's his own human with thoughts and feeling and opinions and I love him so very very much. The Mun: So back in early - mid Aug of 2022, Theo sends me some questions regarding the RPC and how it works and just general 'how to' questions, so I help the best I can and tell him if he has any more questions I would be happy to help. It was a while before we spoke again but in Dec of 2022 we did, and he asked me 'to be told about the cloud' so I lit up like a firework and proceeded to explain Kumo to him. He sat through my rambles and I just kinda felt like we clicked in that moment because I was excited about his things and he was excited about mine. We just clicked. Theo has quickly become one of my very very best friends since then and he reminds me that I am not lonely and I am loved and sets with me through my crashes and is there for my victories. Theo checked on me every single day when my concussion was active and I cannot begin to express how much that meant to me. I found a friend for life in this one. He just sent me a box of goodies both for my birthday at the end of the month but also to "make things less miserable" since my cat just died and the other one had to go to the vet. Theo is extremely kind and loving and patient and understanding. He's very special and I love him a lot. I don't really want to imagine my life without him.

Do I:

RP with them: Kumo vc: Joo, Rakkani! (He said "yes, my love!") Want to RP with them:  ALWAYS

What is my;

Overall Opinion:

**Note: Mun’s answer are all to be completely honest. Don’t send url if you don’t want brutal honesty

[goneadrift]

38, Royai <3

Thank you!😘

38 - Whispering “I love you” before a chaste, delicate kiss.

This week could have been worse but in the beginning the newly appointed Colonel Mustang certainly hoped that it would go better. He barely had time to be glad at his new promotion when he got more attention on him than he anticipated.

It all started with General Grumman, who now seemingly thought that they could privately discuss more various matters and that wouldn't look like some unadvisable favoritism.

It wasn’t surprising for young Colonel that their conversations would stray to less official themes. After all, Grumman has been there for him for many years and proven to be rather trustworthy. So most of the time Mustang felt quite comfortable around him.

However, the most recent turn of discussion has managed to shock Roy into silence the first time the topic was brought up. The previous concern about favoritism seemed like a joke when Grumman kept pestering Roy about marrying his granddaughter. Sometimes Mustang was at loss, trying to balance out the sure but polite refusal. Despite Grumman’s condoning attitude, Roy just could not risk offending him or disclosing his own real thoughts.

This thing between him and Riza was still so tentative and new. In a way, it felt like something has always been there between them, slowly taking root but blooming only now. At times Roy still felt as if it was some elaborate bittersweet dream that was bound to end. He still thought that at any moment Riza would come to her senses, shake off whatever delusion and leave him. Either in romantic or even in a professional sense. Sometimes Roy wasn't sure which he dreaded more. After he’d asked her to stand by him, he didn't want to imagine going through this path without her steading presence.

As if his own insecurities and Grumman’s antics were not enough, there was an assessment looming over the Eastern Command.

Rumor had it that the general Haruko was about to pay a visit and personally observe Colonel's latest achievements. Although Mustang had no doubts about his team and previous decisions, he still had to oversee every single detail to make sure that General doesn't have any miniscule reason to complain about Mustang's efficiency. Roy didn’t cultivate his image of a workaholic so in this case he also had to look at ease but still not miss anything.

Yet again Roy was immensely grateful for his team. With Hawkeye's discipline and observation skills, Falman’s memory for details, Havoc’s efficient and swift following orders, Breda's far-reaching designs and Fuery keeping an ear at pretty much every corner of the Command, there was very little Mustang couldn't accomplish in record time. However, the constant pressure was taking its toll and Roy wasn't immune to it. By the end of the week he was dreaming about falling into the bed in his apartment and sleep through the whole weekend. Preferably with Riza at his side but that idea was more of a wistful thinking.

They were still acquainting with each other in this regard and Roy had no intention to rush. At evenings when he got to hold her in his arms at least for an hour, he slept better than ever since they returned to East City. He imagined that sharing more of such moments might keep nightmares at bay for a little longer. But now was not the time to daydream about that. Mustang allowed himself this moment of distraction and returned his attention to the latest intel Fuery had brought him.

--------‐---------------------------------------------------------------

Riza quickly looked around. It was a lunch time, so the team was out and it was highly unlikely for anyone else to come to their office.

After all this time training herself to be attuned to her Colonel she couldn’t help but notice all the signs of his growing fatigue and wariness. The meetings with Grumman left him more lost in thoughts than before and he refused to elaborate on the real reason. The recent assessment was going smoothly but still took lots of their time. They barely had a moment to exchange meaningful looks, let alone to spend any quality time together, be it in the office or in someone’s apartment. Come to think about it, it’s been too long. Suddenly Riza felt almost giggly. For a long time, she hasn’t allowed herself to think about Roy in such way and she’s been mostly successful at this task. And now after only a week without meaningful touches, evening cuddles and chaste kisses she already felt on edge and more reckless than ever.

Hawkeye, still intending to put up the professional front, took some paperwork that needed Colonel’s signature and went towards his desk, stealing last glance at the door to make sure it was closed and no one was coming their way.

“I love it when you’re so focused on your duties,” — said Riza, approaching Roy, who only chuckled, still not glancing up.

“Yeah? I bet you’re glad your efforts have finally paid out.”

Riza stepped closer.

“Yes, as a matter of fact, I am.”

Roy finally looked up at her and she felt thrilled to be the focal point of his piercing glance. She leaned forward and whispered “And I do love you” before pressing a delicate kiss to his lips. Riza heard his sharp intake of breath but just as he started to reciprocate she ended the kiss and moved back.

Roy looked dumbfounded and it seemed that her last phrase only now registered in his mind. The change was instant: he was more alert, positively glowing, smiling at her tenderly and looking at her with such unrestricted adoration that Riza had to physically grip the edge of his table to stop herself from leaning to him again.

“Reinforcing positive behavior, lieutenant?”

“Don't mind me if I do, sir.”

[fullmetalscullyy]

gotta get down on friday

we have fun in the royai support group discord server

the challenge was to write a fic based on/including lyrics from rebecca black's "friday" so here u go. i wrote the most important fic i will ever write in my life and did it for the meme 🤙

rated: t | words: 2058 | tags: alcohol, night out, team bonding, fluff, pre-canon, fluff, drunkeness

read on ao3

“Are you free on Friday night, Lieutenant?”

“I can be, sir.” Riza lifted her head from her paperwork and looked towards the Colonel’s desk. He was turned to face the window in his chair, gazing out of it thoughtfully as he tapped his pen on his lips. “What do you need?”

“Nothing,” he shook his head, turning to face her. “Just you.”

“Me?”

That threw her completely. What would he possibly need her for on her night off –? Unless it was for more unfinished paperwork. Her stomach dropped, but it was quickly halted. Thankfully.

“I’m thinking of getting the team together for a night out.”

A night out? This was unexpected.

“Is that what you’ve been contemplating, staring out of that window, instead of work?”

Her challenge was conveniently ignored.

“We can go to the pub, have a few drinks, shoot some pool. It’ll be great!” Roy already looked so excited by the prospect.

It would be a good team building exercise, she supposed. They knew each other in a professional capacity, but not in a personal one. And while Riza wasn’t particularly fond of the idea of bearing herself to the strangers on her team – aside from Havoc – she could see the benefits. It had the potential to form tighter bonds with her new teammates, who’d she’d only known for a few short weeks.

“So, can I count you in?” Roy’s expression told her that he sincerely hoped she’d say yes as he eagerly awaited her answer.

It would be nice to get out of her apartment on her night off and enjoy herself. They hadn’t had much of a chance since being assigned in East City because they were still trying to get settled into a new routine.

“Gotta get down on Friday,” he joked with a playful smirk, trying to entice her further.

Riza snorted and shook her head fondly at his antics. “Okay, sir. I can be available on Friday evening,” she confirmed.

“Excellent,” Roy grinned. “Okay, I’ll go and wrangle the rest of the team!” He eagerly rose from his chair, rounding his desk. “Although I don’t think they’ll need too much convincing.”

“Havoc will definitely be up for it,” she reassured. “He always was a fan of a night out with friends in the Academy.”

Roy paused, absorbing this new information. “Did you happen to partake in those nights out too, Lieutenant?” He turned to face her expectantly.

His question was innocent enough but still Riza pursed her lips. This man knew her better than anyone – and was already aware that she, Havoc, and Rebecca had all been through training together – but still, her drunken embarrassment was best kept to herself. Well, what she remembered of it anyway.

“I did,” she replied carefully and offered him no more than that.

Both of Roy’s eyebrows lifted with intrigue. He hadn’t expected her to say yes, but what was she supposed to do with Rebecca Catalina and Jean Havoc as her friends through her Academy years? Plus, she wasn’t afraid of letting her hair down. Far from it, especially when in good company. Glancing over at her commanding officer, ignoring all titles and positions at the moment, she knew Roy would be the best company. She’d feel safe with him by her side. Havoc too. And if this was something Roy wanted to do for his team then Riza would support him.

It would be fun.

Roy approached her desk with a smirk, dragging Riza out of her thoughts. “You’ve never told me of any drunken stories, Hawkeye,” he commented, coming to a stop before her, hands slotting into his pockets. She didn’t know why he suddenly had an interest in her possible drunken antics. Or why.

She shrugged. “You’ve never asked.”

“Am I allowed to ask about said drunken antics?” He was treading carefully with his question but there was a hint of amusement on his face.

“No,” was Riza’s firm reply.

His laugh brightened up his entire expression. “I didn’t think so. Still, can’t fault me for trying,” he added, lifting his hands in surrender.

Riza hummed noncommittally.

“One day I might worm it out of you,” he murmured lowly, expression turning thoughtful. The office was empty so there was no risk of being overheard. Still, she appreciated his effort to maintain the secrecy of their past, as she’d requested. “Oh!” Roy exclaimed suddenly, as if he’d though of an extremely brilliant idea. “Or I can go and ask Havoc about them?”

“You wouldn’t dare,” she threatened as she snorted at his hilarious suggestion.

“Maybe I would,” he grinned, unafraid.

“Havoc knows better than to tell anyway.”

Roy pouted. Actually pouted. “You’re no fun.”

“Maybe,” she replied with light scorn, turning her attention back to her work.

After writing for a few moments she noticed he still hadn’t moved. Electing to ignore it, Riza ploughed on ahead with her work, but then he still didn’t move from his spot. Riza glanced at him and geared up to ask what he needed but his soft smile made her pause and her writing trailed off. He was looking at her like… Well. Like he shouldn’t be.

Like he was completely enamoured by her.

“What?” Riza prompted him out of his thoughts. Despite her heart fluttering within her chest and her stomach flipping pleasantly with the way Roy was looking at her, they couldn’t be risking moments like this anymore. Not while they were in the positions they were now. They couldn’t afford it if they wanted to succeed.

Roy snapped out of whatever thoughts he’d found himself trapped in and grinned. He shook his head. “Nothing. Nothing’s wrong. I can’t wait for Friday.”

Without another word he hurried out of the office and turned in the direction of the cafeteria. Riza was left staring after him, wondering what had just happened.

*          *          *           *          *           *          *

There was a chorus of happy cheers as everyone on the team greeted one another in the pub Roy had arranged for them to meet at. Riza hung back and let them get it out of their system before she entered the fray. Roy noticed her distance from the group – of course he did – and diverted his attention from the conversation before him. He shot her a smile and there was a slightly puzzled look on his face. He was wondering if there was anything wrong. She shook her head to placate him but that wasn’t enough. He excused himself from an already tipsy Havoc and walked over.

“You made it,” he breathed excitedly.

“I did. I didn’t want to let the team down, sir.”

“You could never, Riza.” His smile matched his tone and expression. It was soft as he reassured her. The excitement was clear on his face and he looked truly overjoyed. Riza’s stomach fluttered.

“I didn’t want to miss it,” she revealed quietly, leaning in slightly so she could be heard over the team’s laughter.

She’d had a glass of wine while getting ready for the night. It had helped settle her nerves about meeting everyone outside of work for the first time. Although Havoc and Roy were going to be there, she still didn’t know Breda, Falman, or Fuery very well. She’d wanted to but there hadn’t been an appropriate opportunity yet. It was their first “team night out” and she’d been excited at the prospect of being a part of it. Riza wanted to be a part of something good, for a change. She’d have kicked herself in regret if she couldn’t make tonight.

Roy’s grin was infectious. “I told you it would be fun,” he winked.

“Gotta get down on Friday, right?”

As she quoted his own words back at her Roy’s jaw went slack as he stared at her in surprise before he broke out in laughter. “We do. And I can’t wait to spend it with you.”

“Now you’re talking dangerously,” she urged quietly.

Roy just shrugged. “Maybe. But it’s still the truth.”

Riza frowned at him. “Anyway,” she urged, trying to steer the conversation towards safer territory, “on top of that, I know how to handle Havoc when he’s drunk. I couldn’t subject you all to that on your own.”

Her expression turned confused as Roy wrapped his arm around her shoulder and guided her forwards towards the team. Both his hands came to rest upon her shoulders as they walked, and he gave them a gentle squeeze.

“Every day you become more of an enigma, Riza Hawkeye,” he spoke lowly into her ear. His breath caressed her skin gently and it made her stomach flutter again. His hands increased their pressure as he squeezed her shoulders while steering her over to the team. “I love that about you,” he whispered, “on top of everything else.”

Before she could reply or properly react he walked ahead and left her, asking who wanted a drink. The first round was on him. Havoc and Breda cheered loudly and quickly placed their order. Falman and Fuery were next, leaving Riza for last. They greeted her warmly once they noticed her presence, however her replies were slightly dazed as she was still reeling from what Roy had said.

“Hawkeye?” The culprit looked expectantly at her for her order, ignoring the fact he’d just announced that he loved her in a very public place. It hadn’t been loud but… But… But he still did it! He should know better –!

“Hawkeye.” Roy commanded her attention easily, his voice soft and welcoming. Her breath caught in her throat.

Glancing around she saw that no one was paying them any attention. The rest of the team had wandered over to their table to talk as they awaited their drinks. The bar was empty still, aside from them.

“What would you like to drink?”

Her eyes met his. His expression was open and unabashed, as if what he’d said had been no big deal.

Voicing it publicly was a problem. However there was no one around. Still, it couldn’t become a habit. Riza would make sure of that. It was dangerous. Their feelings had always been there though and had been for years. Riza’s had never changed. One night, underneath the desert sky, he’d confirmed it was the same for him. It was a comfort to know, Riza thought, and it was always nice to hear.

But still, she huffed in thought.

Riza placed her order after shooting him a warning look and he smirked, promising he wouldn’t be long.

After taking a seat at the table Havoc threw his arm heartily around her shoulders and left it there until their drinks arrived. Although almost being thrown off balance by his enthusiasm Riza didn’t mind it too much, because it was Havoc. Aside from Roy, he was one of her oldest friends. The heavy weight of his arm was a comfort and helped remind her that she was in the company of friends and teammates. Plus, it had been a while since she’d sat and had a drink with Havoc and that had always been a good time back in the Academy. She was excited.

For all the emphasis Roy had put on the importance of “Friday night” and how excited he’d been to go out with them all, Riza had to admit; it had made her look forward to the weekend ahead. She decided that “partyin’”, as Roy – and then everyone else – kept drunkenly calling it throughout the night, with this group was a good time. They’d chant “partyin’, partyin’, yeah!” as more drinks were brought to the table and it made her laugh. Riza knew once tonight was over she’d be looking forward to the next one.

It was early days, and their friendships were brand new for Riza, but they’d all accepted one another so easily and had eagerly welcomed Riza into their circle. She’d been almost afraid that after being so hard on them all at work initially they’d be put off by spending time with her outside of it. However, her fears were completely alleviated after tonight.

They were a good bunch of guys. They would be an amazing team all together, Riza was sure of it.

As Roy, Havoc, and Breda had drunkenly sung off key towards the end of the night, the evening had definitely been “fun, fun, fun, fun.”

[cryoglaze]

I Can’t Be Alone With All That’s On My Mind

Happy Holidays @by-nina​ ! I was your Secret Santa for @fmasecretsanta2020​! I really hope you enjoy it and have a lovely new year!

Rating: General

Categories: F/M, Gen

Relationships: Riza Hawkeye/Roy Mustang, Rebecca Catalina & Riza Hawkeye, Riza Hawkeye & Team Mustang, Maes Hughes & Roy Mustang, Roy Mustang & Team Mustang, Black Hayate & Riza Hawkeye

Additional Tags: hurt/comfort, light angst, fluff, pre-canon, POV multiple

Word Count: 8,169

Summary: When Black Hayate manages to get himself lost one morning, Colonel Mustang wastes no time in organising an effort to help Lieutenant Hawkeye track down her missing dog. Riza herself is attempting to appear calm and collected as usual, but as time goes on and the Shiba Inu still hasn't been found, keeping a handle on her emotions begins to prove difficult - and it's not just the Lieutenant's emotions that are becoming tricky to navigate.

Timeline Notes: Set when the members of the Mustang Unit are situated in East City headquarters, prior to the anime/manga introduction but after Ed has been recruited.

Read on AO3 here

It's no secret that Riza Hawkeye is basically the reason the Mustang Unit is still functioning.

Not to say that they're not capable of taking care of themselves - they are all grown men, even Fuery, baby-faced that he might be - but she is the one that pushes them to get paperwork done on time, keeps them from getting too rowdy or distracted, and keeps their Colonel in line.

So, when the Lieutenant is notably absent from her desk one morning without prior notice, there’s a clear sense of unease among the men. They go for half an hour purposefully not looking at her desk or the door before Jean takes it upon himself to break the silence.

“So do we start placing bets on why she’s not here?”

“She filed for time off months ago and the Colonel forgot about it,” Breda replies instantaneously, not looking up from the report he’s reading.

“Nope,” Jean responds, leaning back in his chair. “She would’ve anticipated that and reminded him one week before, and yesterday just in case he’d forgotten again.”

That earns him a glare from Mustang, but the Colonel doesn’t say anything, which Jean takes to mean he’s right.

“Do you think she’s alright?” Fuery asks. “I mean, the Lieutenant wouldn’t just not show up to work without saying anything.”

“It is unusual behaviour from her,” Falman adds. “Lieutenant Hawkeye is the most organised out of any of us.”

“She’s fine,” Mustang interjects, before Jean can start listing the possible reasons she’s late. “Any moment now, she’ll either walk through that door or she’ll call to explain her absence. There’s no point debating it.”

The words are spoken with confidence, but the way the Colonel’s gaze lingers on Hawkeye’s desk and he doesn’t move back into his own office suggests otherwise. Jean exchanges a look with Breda, and then they continue with their work.

Another half an hour passes before the phone inside Mustang’s office rings, at which the Colonel looks pointedly at them all as if to say ‘see?’ before going to answer it, finally leaving his spot of hovering in the door frame between their shared office and his own personal one. Jean waits a few seconds in the silence after Mustang answers the phone; it’s either Hawkeye, just as he predicted, or-

“Not now, Hughes.”

As Jean predicted, the phone is slammed down almost instantly.

“Careful with the phone, Sir,” he offers helpfully - in the Lieutenant’s absence, he might as well cover for her.

“Don’t get smart with me, Havoc,” is his only response, before the phone rings again.

“Hughes, I swear - oh. Yes, put her through.”

Paperwork forgotten, Jean and the rest of Team Mustang listen in to the following audible half of the conversation.

“Lieutenant. Are you alright? The men were getting worried about you… I see. No, no, it’s alright. I’ll see you in a few hours, then. Good luck.”

Mustang opens his mouth to say something else, then looks back at his subordinates - who aren’t even pretending not to listen, Jean included - as if debating whether or not to say what he wants in front of them. Making up his mind, he says one last thing before putting the phone down.

“I’m glad you’re alright, Lieutenant.”

Once the phone is on its hook, the Colonel turns to the four men eagerly awaiting an answer and offers them a smirk.

“The Lieutenant is fine. She’ll be with us in a few hours.”

“What happened?” Jean asks - because Riza Hawkeye being late is still a noteworthy occurrence that requires an explanation. Mustang sighs.

“Her dog went missing sometime in the early morning. He can’t have gone far, so as soon as she finds him and gets him back home safely she’ll be resuming her duties.”

“Black Hayate?” Fuery rises from his desk, concern in his voice and written on his features. “Shouldn’t we help the Lieutenant go look for him? He could be hurt, or lost!”

“If we go out and help her look, we’ll get Lieutenant Hawkeye back with us in no time,” Breda offers, which the Colonel appears to consider briefly before shaking his head.

“You’re all to resume your duties as usual in the Lieutenant’s absence,” he announces. “Skilled as she is, we can all survive without her for a number of hours.”

“I hope you’ll be able to get through all of that before she comes back then,” Havoc responds, nodding to the visible stack of paperwork piled on the Colonel’s desk. 

Havoc watches the Colonel briefly have a mental battle with himself as he weighs up his options, and evidently, his chronic procrastination wins out overall because he moves to grab his coat.

“I suppose it will boost morale. A team bonding exercise, if you will.”

***

The Colonel splits the group to look in different areas of East City, with Breda staying behind at HQ in case the Lieutenant calls (as they all agreed that him joining the Hayate Hunt would be a tremendously bad idea), Falman and Fuery taking the southern half of the city, and Havoc accompanying Mustang as they search through the northern half.

“Fuery and Falman will be covering several parks that the Lieutenant takes Hayate to during walks,” Mustang says, “but there’s a few other spots they frequent that we can try first.”

“You have Hawkeye’s dog walking route memorised, Sir?” Jean questions, allowing a hint of teasing to enter his voice. The only answer he’s graced with is a glare before the Colonel resolutely doesn’t look at him for a few minutes as they walk through the city. 

They search for roughly about half an hour - ducking into several alleyways that Jean would rather not be in, thank you very much, but Mustang reminds him that he’s not the only one with paperwork waiting for him on his desk, so he quits complaining - before Jean notices a familiar blonde a little farther down the street from them.

“Is that the Lieutenant?” He asks, drawing the Colonel’s attention.

“So it is,” Mustang responds, before purposefully stepping in her direction, leaving Jean to catch up.

“Lieutenant.”

The woman in question turns her head in Mustang’s direction, her eyes giving away surprised for just a moment before assuming her usual neutral expression - though there is a worried crease between her eyebrows that usually only appears by the 5th stack of paperwork in a day.

“Colonel. What are you doing here?”

“Assisting in the search for a missing officer,” Mustang grins.

“And procrastinating,” Jean chimes in cheerfully, to which Mustang elbows him in the ribs and Hawkeye levels him with a look.

“Thank you for the thought, but you have work to be doing,” Hawkeye says, eyes turning away from the Colonel. “I’m sure I’ll find him soon.”

It’s at this point that Jean realises this is the most dishevelled he’s seen the Lieutenant - meaning, of course, that she still looks professional and put-together to the untrained eye, but he can spy her hair is close to falling out of its usual barrette, and there are hints of dark shadows under her eyes that wouldn’t typically be there. 

“I’m sure you’ll find him sooner with people to help cover more ground,” Mustang insists. “I’ve already got Fuery and Falman on the case, too.”

Hawkeye sighs. “Sir-”

“When did Hayate go missing?” The Colonel asks.

“At around half six this morning,” the Lieutenant answers. “I always take him on a walk before I leave for work, but his leash must have unclipped, or - something. He’s a good boy, and he can’t have gone far, so please leave this to me and return to your duties, Colonel.”

“Your hair is loose,” is all Mustang remarks in response, and that gets him a glare. 

“Well, where have you checked already?” Jean intervenes as Hawkeye opens her mouth to speak again. “As you said, he can’t have gone far, so if we work from where you’ve already searched and head outwards…”

“Funnily enough, I’d thought of that myself,” Hawkeye answers tersely, eyes scanning the pavement opposite from the side of the road the three of them are standing on. “And I’m perfectly capable of -” A convenient - or inconvenient - gust of wind chooses then to cut the Lieutenant off, and the barrette keeping her hair in place completely gives up, leaving her hair to tumble down her shoulders. She hisses something - probably a curse - under her breath and reaches to redo it, but the Colonel already has the clip in one hand, gathering Hawkeye’s hair together with the other.

A faint but noticeable blush colours the Lieutenant’s cheeks, and Jean suddenly feels like he’s watching something personal. 

“I wasn’t aware you were an aspiring hairdresser, Sir,” he quips - if just to break the awkward silence that’s descended between them. Mustang chuckles, eyes focused.

“I grew up with sisters; I know how to do hair.”

True to his word, the Colonel fixes up the Lieutenant's hair with what looks like practised ease - in fact, Jean ponders, it just might be. Hawkeye steps away as soon as he's done.

"... Thank you, Sir," she says, the light red on her cheeks still not fading.

"You're welcome, Lieutenant," Mustang replies, and while the smirk on his face is the typical one he wears whenever he's flirting (or boasting), there's a warmth in his eyes that Jean's only ever seen directed at one woman. The Lieutenant turns to face him, and for a brief moment their eyes meet and they appear to get stuck there, smiling at each other. It's the most ridiculously romantic thing Jean's ever seen, and he can't stand it. He clears his throat, and both Hawkeye and Mustang jolt back to themselves. 

"Well, I suppose since you're here now you might as well help me look," Hawkeye concedes.

"We'll find him in no time," the Colonel assures.

 ***

They did not, in fact, find Hayate in no time.

Riza prides herself on being level-headed and in control of her emotions while chaos surrounds her; she’s well aware that she has a reputation around East City Command for being cold and relatively distant, which she’s not too fussed about. The people that know her well enough know that she has more of an emotional range than she might outwardly show, and that’s good enough for her.

A downside of that, though, is when the Colonel keeps giving her concerned glances throughout the morning when she’s perfectly content to appear collected as usual throughout this whole ordeal, despite becoming increasingly anxious as the day progresses.

Around midday she, Havoc and Roy end up reuniting with Falman and Fuery, the latter looking about as outwardly distressed as Riza feels.

“No luck at your end either, then?” Roy asks, and Fuery shakes his head forlornly.

“We checked all the parks I usually walk him through, and the ones on this side of the city that you take him to as well, Lieutenant,” he says, nodding to her, “but we haven’t found any sign of him so far.”

“We’ll find him,” Havoc says resolutely. “As Hawkeye said earlier, he can’t have gone far. He’s in this city somewhere .”

Riza looks to the Second Lieutenant to reply affirmatively but is momentarily taken aback by the same look of concern that Roy’s had the entire morning in his eyes too. 

In fact, when she looks fleetingly to Falman and Fuery, they’ve got the exact same expression.

It takes her off guard briefly; she was aware that the unit were some of the few who saw through the cool exterior she displays, but she didn’t think she was so transparent that they would all be looking at her like that. 

There’s an echoing of the feeling she’d gotten when she was assigned to her first unit in Ishval; she’d been the only woman in her unit, and the men amongst her had all looked at her like she was about to break at any minute. She knows this scenario isn’t the same - the men in this squad respect her and don’t treat her like glass - but the familiarity of being looked at like she’s something fragile makes something twist within her.

“It’s gone twelve; you should be returning to work.” 

The Colonel looks at her with something like surprise; why, she’s not too sure. 

“I thought we already agreed we could cover more ground with -”

“You can’t be absent from your desk all day, and I happen to know that you have at least three documents that need signing by the end of today and another seven by tomorrow,” she interrupts. “It’s really best that you return.”

Roy looks at her with confliction for a few seconds, then seems to find something in Riza’s eyes that makes him give in. 

“Alright,” he sighs. “Myself, Havoc and Falman will return to command, on the condition Fuery stays to help look. He’s the one who’ll know best after you where to find Hayate, after all.”

“Yes, Sir,” she and Fuery both chorus, and with that, the group makes to separate. She’s just about to start discussing the ground already covered with the Sergeant when a call from behind distracts her.

“Good luck, Lieutenant! We’ll have him back in no time!”

She and Fuery both turn to see Havoc, evidently the one who spoke, offering a thumbs up. The Colonel grabs his arm to make him continue walking, and Riza observes the interaction with a faint smile before focusing on the task at hand.

“Right,” Fuery says, pulling out a folded up map of the city from his pocket. “I’ve marked down everywhere Falman and I covered, so if you add where you checked with the Colonel and Havoc, we can go from there.”

After establishing the already visited spots on the map, and any places that Hayate might be more likely to return to so would be worth a double check, Riza and Fuery head in separate directions. Riza finds herself straying from parks and paths that she frequents on her morning and evening walks to slightly less conventional places, like the area surrounding the apartment complex she knows the owner of a particular labrador that Hayate likes lives in, or, more humiliatingly, the bin shed behind her local butcher’s, which is of course where a familiar voice calls out to her.

“Riza Hawkeye, I never thought you’d be one to be rifling through the bins,” the voice says, and Riza rolls her eyes before turning to face one Rebecca Catalina.

“Speak for yourself,” she returns. “I think I remember that one night during our second year of the Academy-”

“Not the same,” Rebecca counters, before she can finish. “Now, come on, out of the bin shed. I can’t believe my hunch was right.”

“What are you even doing here?” Riza asks.

“Looking for Hayate,” Rebecca answers. “And I have permission from Grumman to be assisting you - before you start protesting like you did with the Colonel.”

Of course.

Of course Roy went straight to Grumman - her grandfather, of all people, knowing he’d allow it - rather than leaving her to her own devices. It’s so typically him - his way of caring, making sure there’s someone with her even when she’s protested otherwise because he knows she’s bothered more than she wants to let on - in a way that makes her face burn and her teeth grit at the same time.

“Get that look off your face,” Rebecca remarks. “It’s a good thing I showed up when I did, otherwise I’d probably find you in the bin.”

Riza glares wordlessly, because while the notion was silly, it had crossed her mind.

A smooth hand slips into hers, and Rebecca gives Riza an encouraging smile.

“Come on,” she says, giving Riza’s hand a tug. “Let’s keep searching together before you lose it and start searching more bin sheds.” “I don’t know why you’re treating the idea so incredulously; it’s a reasonable place for a dog to be,” Riza mutters, letting herself be pulled along all the same.

As they search together, Riza realises why Roy had sent Rebecca to help rather than coming back himself (aside from the tower of paperwork she knows is on his desk); her brunette friend has the same bouncy energy as always surrounding her, as opposed to the Colonel’s looks of worry sent her way every five minutes. There’s no nervous silence between them, as Rebecca fills it with chatter about everything and nothing.

Also, Rebecca can shout louder than any of them.

“HAYATE!” she calls, startling several pigeons and a few people on the street opposite, as the sun begins to set below the skyline. Usually, Riza would care about the looks of judgement they garner from passers-by, but at this point she’s far beyond that - in fact, she fires back a couple of her own glares in return. Maybe it’s a little unnecessary, but now that the sun is beginning to set - being winter, it gets dark early, around the time she’d be leaving work on a normal day - she’s growing antsier about the whole situation. 

She almost doesn’t notice when they run into Fuery again.

“Still no luck for you?” Rebecca asks, which is what draws her attention. Fuery shakes his head, before seemingly noticing something.

“Are you alright, Lieutenant Catalina?”

Riza snaps to examine her friend at that; she’s fidgeting and glancing at her watch, and Riza remembers with a pang of guilt something that Rebecca hadn’t mentioned at all this afternoon, but during her lunch break last week.

“You have a date,” she realises.

Rebecca bites her lip. “They can wait.”

“No, go.”

“Seriously, Riza-”

“If you like the man, then go .”

Rebecca looks between Riza, to Fuery, to her watch, then back to Riza again.

“I’m sorry,” she says, grabbing Riza into a hug. “You’ll find him, I know you will. You’re the Hawk’s Eye!”

“That I am,” Riza responds, adding a smile she hopes is reassuring. Judging by Rebecca’s pained look, it wasn’t that effective. “Now go!”

“Fine!”

Trying to ignore the even more present worry in his eyes, Riza turns to Fuery.

“Shall we go over the map again?”

***

It’s hours after dark when Riza notices that Fuery is starting to shiver next to her. She hadn’t noticed that it had gotten cold.

“You should go home,” she advises, only to get a resolute head shake in turn. 

“Not until we find him,” the younger man replies, and Riza wants to accept his help, but she can’t let him stay out here in the cold all night when she was the one who lost her own dog in the first place.

A thought crosses her mind then, and another load of guilt adds itself to the writhing feeling of anxiety in her gut. 

“I’m sorry,” she blurts out. Fuery whips his head to look at her so fast it’s almost comical, with a look of such blatant confusion it warms and breaks Riza’s heart all at once.

“What for?”

“You were the one who found Black Hayate in the first place,” she explains. “I should have taken better care of him.”

“Don’t be silly,” Fuery admonishes. “Pets can get lost all the time. It doesn’t mean you’re a bad owner.”

“But if I’d been -”

“There’s no point in thinking things like that. All we can do is try and find him as soon as possible.”

Riza takes a breath, then smiles at Fuery. “Thank you, Kain,” she says, and he returns the smile. “Now go home.”

“Only if you do,” is his response this time, taking her aback.

“I can’t-”

“There’s only so much searching you can do in the dark,” he says. “If you search all night, then you’ll be too tired come morning to search for him effectively when there’s light on your side.”

She knows he’s right.

She knows he’s right, and yet it feels like a betrayal to give up now. 

“You can work on missing dog posters at home,” Fuery assures her. “And you can ask around your neighbours, too - see if they can keep a lookout for you.”

Riza nods, looking up at the stars and blinking rapidly because she will not cry in front of the youngest member of their unit.

“I can walk you home,” Fuery offers.

They walk together, allowing silence to fall between them again until they reach Riza’s apartment complex. 

“We’ll find him, Lieutenant,” Fuery says with the certainty of a promise, and Riza smiles at him again. 

“Of course,” she says. “Thank you, Sergeant.”

With that, they part ways, and Riza feels her heart sink further with every step up she takes in the stairwell towards her apartment before it plummets as she shuts the door and sits slumped against it.

Riza allows herself five minutes to sit there before getting to work with Fuery’s suggestions; she busies herself by making posters with ‘MISSING DOG’ blazoned across the top in bold letters before knocking on her neighbours’ doors and asking them to look out for Hayate if they can. That kills time for another couple of hours, at which point she realises she hasn’t actually eaten all day, so she makes herself something quick for dinner -

-And reaches for the dog food out of habit.

It takes her a moment to realise what she’s doing; she’s so used to this routine that she doesn’t notice until she’s facing Hayate’s food bowl and then freezes.

The quiet and emptiness of her apartment is suddenly so much more evident than before, and Riza feels it with a pang in her chest, sharp and painful. Black Hayate - her BraHa - is out there, probably cold and alone and scared, too, and the thought makes her eyes begin to prick with tears.

The phone rings.

Riza stares at it blankly for a second before moving to pick it up, blinking the yet unshed tears away before she answers.

“Hello?”

“Lieutenant,” a familiar voice responds, and of course - who else would it be?

“Colonel,” she says, “what is it?”

Hope flashes through her for a moment, and she asks before she loses it. “Do you have any news about Hayate?”

Roy winces on the other end of the line, and the hope dies before he even speaks. “Sorry, I haven’t heard anything,” he says apologetically. “I was just calling because, ah, well…”

She waits.

“I thought you might be lonely,” the Colonel says. “In the apartment, by yourself. So I thought… I’d call.”

He sounds embarrassed, like he’d had the idea and dialled her number on a whim before properly thinking it through - which, knowing him, was likely exactly the case. The thought makes her smile before she thinks of something else.

“Do you get lonely?”

“Sorry?”

“In an apartment by yourself,” Riza echoes his earlier words.

There’s a pause.

“Sometimes,” Roy admits, and the pang in Riza’s chest from earlier returns, though not as forceful as before. There’s another pause, filled with something raw that neither of them dares touch upon.

“Maybe you should get a dog, Sir,” she quips, letting the moment pass.

“I don’t think I’m a dog person.”

“You said you loved dogs, if I remember correctly.”

“And then I was deemed an unfit owner.”

“A cat, then.”

Just like that, they’re back on course to familiar banter.

“You might be on the right track there, Lieutenant. It would have to get on with Hayate, though…”

Riza blinks in surprise, and the pause leaves them off course once more.

Roy clears his throat. “Because we work together so often, of course. And - um - pet-sitting reasons. For favours. Favours that friends do for each other.”

“Right. Yes.”

The silence that follows is awkward this time.

“Anyway, uh - as I was saying, I just wanted to call to check in. So if you’re… okay…?”

“Yes. I am.” The lie is easy.

“You’re sure?”

This time she hesitates.

“We’ll find him,” Roy assures her.

“So everyone keeps telling me,” she replies shortly, then regrets it. He’s only tried to help her all day, after all. “Sorry. I’m just… worried.”

“It’s alright, I understand.”

The conversation lulls again, but this silence isn't uncomfortable. It's the kind of quiet that reminds Riza of their younger days when she and Roy would sit together while she focused on homework and Roy studied alchemy. There'd be evenings when they hardly spoke at all to each other, with just the wind and rain beating against the window making the only sound in the room. 

It's always been the case, Riza thinks, that they've always used more than words to talk to each other.

"Ah, I shouldn't keep you up late," the Colonel says, drawing Riza's attention to the clock above her on the wall. The hands read five to one. "Get a good night's sleep."

"You too, Colonel," she replies. "Good night."

Riza puts the phone down, and the apartment is empty of sound once more.

***

 The next morning Riza wakes up before sunrise and is out of the door by half-past five in the morning. She spends the next few hours searching for Hayate - retracing her steps from yesterday, checking anywhere she might have missed and taping her ‘missing dog’ posters to lampposts as she goes.

By 9 AM, she’s well into her search, but also has the nagging thought in the back of her mind of the five particular documents still sitting on her desk that need signing. While this situation is far farther up her list of priorities than work - she’d shoot the Fuhrer himself if he tried to get between her and her dog, probably - Riza supposes she can likely get to headquarters and deal with anything urgent and only lose half an hour.

When she enters the office, however, she’s greeted with the sight of a large chalkboard at one end of the room, a map of East City stuck to it, and Colonel Mustang marking off areas of said map with a marker - all the areas she, Rebecca and Fuery had covered yesterday.

“Havoc?”

“I checked through the south-west sector, mainly; the footpaths from Wayfield Way up through to Foxtail Street. One of my exes had a dog and she always took him there, so figured it was worth a try.”

“Good work,” Roy nods, adding a series of crosses to the map. “So if we add the areas I checked, and those checked by Falman - down to precise coordinates, I’ll give you a bonus for that - then we’ve got…”

“I’ve got a few more to add too, Sir,” Breda chimes in.

“But you’re terrified of dogs,” Riza says, drawing the attention of the men in the room. The Colonel straightens.

“Lieutenant,” he says, “We weren’t expecting you today.”

“I have some urgent paperwork I need to complete, then I’ll be on my way, if that’s alright.”

“Oh, any of your outstanding paperwork has been taken care of.”

Riza blinks.

“By who?”

Roy glances aside for a moment before returning her gaze. “By… me?”

Riza stares.

Colonel Roy Mustang, infamous procrastinator, the man that once decided to wash the windows of his office rather than start the paperwork he had due that afternoon, completed not only his own work (she sneaked a glance at his desk when she came in, and there was no tell-tale tower of paper) but her own too.

Roy’s cheeks start to turn red, and Riza realises she’s been staring and not saying anything. All that leaves her mouth when she opens it to speak, though, is a faint “Oh.”

“I had Officer Falman check over them this morning, too, so you don’t need to worry about -”

“I wasn’t-”

“Oh, well-”

The sharp tone of the phone ringing cuts into the conversation, and Riza is beyond relieved.

“I’ll - uh - I’ll get that now. Lieutenant, as you’re here, you can add any points to the map you’ve visited this morning, and then we’ll review.”

The Colonel hurries to his office and shuts the door, leaving Riza to wonder what on earth it is about such a simple act of completing paperwork that’s making her heart beat so fast.

 ***

Roy shuts the door to his office and answers the phone without really focusing on it, wondering why such a simple act of completing paperwork made the Lieutenant look at him like that. 

“Colonel Mustang speaking.”

“Roy!”

He doesn’t know who else he expected.

“Now is really not the time, Hughes.”

“You didn’t let me talk yesterday either,” Hughes whines, and Roy sighs.

“Lieutenant Hawkeye’s dog has gone missing,” he says, to hurry the conversation. At this point, he should start adding ‘able to cut short and/or derail a conversation with Maes Hughes’ to his list of applicable skills.

“Black Hayate?!” Hughes exclaims, “has he been missing since I last called? I’ll keep an eye out.”

“You live in Central.”

“And? Hayate’s a smart boy. Don’t doubt his ability to board a train.”

Usually, he'd slam the phone down, but a little voice in the back of his head - a familiar, Lieutenant-like voice - reminds him that if he breaks it one of these days he’ll probably have to pay for it, so he places it onto the receiver, disconnecting the call.

  Now he thinks about it, it’s probably a good thing that it was Hawkeye that took in Hayate and not anyone else in the unit - because Roy doesn’t think he’d be able to slip his entire unit conducting a search and rescue mission for a dog past Grumman if it wasn’t his granddaughter’s dog in particular. 

Especially as by the afternoon it’s beginning to look like the search may head into its third day.

Roy keeps a careful eye on the Lieutenant throughout the day - in the morning it seems like the night’s rest has refreshed her focus, but as the day progresses and he splits the team out further he can see the things he’s come to know as signs of anxiety in her; her hands keep fleeting from adjusting her hair to curling at her sides as if she’s itching to have a gun in her hands. Briefly, he considers taking her hand in his, but dismisses it quickly.

“Quit looking at me like that,” she hisses curtly, somewhen around the time when the sky starts to dim.

“Like what?”

“I’m fine.”

“Really? I wouldn’t be.” 

The Lieutenant regards him for a moment, the two of them walking side by side. “And if our places were reversed, you’d likely be acting as if you were perfectly fine, too.”

… Okay, well, she’s right there. But-

“So you admit it’s an act?”

That gets him one of the Lieutenant’s Looks - always with a capital L, in his mind - and he takes his cue to stop talking.

“Quit harassing the Lieutenant,” comes Havoc’s voice from behind them. “Still nothing?”

“Nothing,” Roy answers.

“It’s starting to get dark,” Havoc remarks, glancing upwards. “Should we-”

“I’m not going home,” Hawkeye interjects. “I did so last night, and I encourage you to do so now, but I’m not stopping until Hayate’s found.”

He can tell from the steel edge to her voice - and the slight shake in her shoulders - that she means it, and Roy’s not about to try and talk her down given the situation.

Still, he can always keep her company all the same.

“Go home, Havoc,” he instructs.

“Uh - are you sure?”

“I’ll keep on looking with the Lieutenant,” he reassures. “You head home, and I’ll let you know if we find anything.”

The Second Lieutenant leaves as dismissed, offering a “Hang in there, Hawkeye,” before he goes. That leaves Roy and Lieutenant Hawkeye together, with Roy bringing out the map once more.

“So, if I mark off the paths we’ve covered in the past hour or so… we can check the park near Commercial Heights again, or the western courtyard. Then if we don’t get any luck there, there’s that patch of forest near Langham Willows Road…” 

His eyes drift away from the map to find the Lieutenant’s watching him. “What is it?”

“Thank you,” Hawkeye murmurs.

Roy smiles. “Anytime, Lieutenant.”

They walk together, periodically calling for Hayate and searching any place they can think of. Roy cracks jokes here and there - knowing that his adjutant will see straight through them, but making the effort all the same to see if he can get her to relax. Eventually, they end up heading in the direction Roy aimed for.

He can tell the moment Hawkeye notices; she stops short and her face closes off.

“You’re leading me back to my apartment.”

There’s no point denying it. “Yes, I am.”

“I told you I wasn’t stopping.”

“And now I’m telling you that you need to rest.”

“No.” 

Over the years, Roy has grown familiar with all kinds of expression in Riza Hawkeye’s voice; he knows her cool and calm tone that she wears from day to day, the defeated hoarseness he remembers from some of their darkest days, the short irritation when they’ve been buried under week-old paperwork for days on end. 

Right now, her voice is cold but slipping into something hot and painful underneath, like ice cracking beneath a flame. 

As one would when navigating thin ice, Roy really should tread carefully.

Instead, he pushes.

“I’ll make it an order if I have to.”

The Lieutenant’s brown eyes burn into his own before they dull painfully into a resignation that makes Roy’s chest ache. He steps forward - 

And the Lieutenant steps back.

“Don’t!”

The volume of her voice makes him freeze; the Lieutenant herself looks surprised, too.

A light switches on in a window of the apartment block near them, and they both watch it carefully. Roy’s still focused on it when the Lieutenant’s voice pulls his gaze away.

“Sorry, Sir. You’re right, I should -” she coughs. “I should go home.”

The ice is even thinner now. 

“Lieutenant…” 

He trails off. He didn’t even know what he was going to say when he started.

“Let me walk you home.”

Apparently that’s what he was going to say.

Hawkeye nods, and they walk in solemn silence back to her apartment building. Once she enters through the lobby doorway, she doesn’t pause to bid him goodbye; rather, she leaves the door open for him to follow through. 

Roy pauses halfway through the entryway, unsure. It’s not as if it’s the first time he’s been to her apartment, but he feels weirdly off-kilter here. It reminds him vaguely of the first time the Lieutenant had allowed him into her bedroom to study together when they were young, and he’s stood carefully distant from any object without touching anything until she’d told him to sit down and get to work already.

He follows the Lieutenant up to her apartment door, where she turns back to face him. Both of them seem to fail to find any words for a few seconds.

“Tea?”

Roy short circuits for a second, staring dumbfoundedly at the woman in the doorway in front of him. While yes, he's been to her apartment before, it's never at this hour, and he's not sure whether he's reading too much into this interaction-

"You should make up your mind either way and move out of my doorway. Before the neighbours start to talk, ideally."

That startles him into moving through the threshold - and after a good look at his Lieutenant in decent light, he moves towards the kettle in the kitchen.

“You sit down; I’ll make it.”

Instead of arguing otherwise, the Lieutenant simply sits at her kitchen table as Roy goes about making tea for both of them. He’s partly distracted while he lets it steep when the Lieutenant speaks again.

“What if I never see him again?”

Roy turns. The Lieutenant’s eyes are fixed on the dog food bowl.

“If he’s dead? Or we just… never find him? What then?”

Setting the tea down in front of her, Roy takes the kitchen chair next to the Lieutenant.

“Don’t worry yourself with that now,” he says. “For now, just drink your tea, then go to sleep.”

The Lieutenant dutifully sips her tea, before smiling wistfully.

“Did I ever tell you about the time Hayate tried to dodge hail in a storm despite the door inside being about 10 feet away?”

Roy grins. “No, but I’ll definitely hear this one.”

He listens to the Lieutenant’s story - and a couple more - while they finish their tea, then stands up and extends his hand to hers once they’re done.

“Tea over, now sleep,” he says, and Hawkeye rolls her eyes.

“I am capable of putting myself to bed, you know,” she insists. “Sorry for keeping you - you should get home yourself.”

She shows him to the door, and just before he leaves, Roy stops. The Lieutenant’s eyebrows raise in question, and Roy hesitates before pressing a light kiss to her forehead.

“I promise,” he says lowly, “I promise you that we’ll bring him back home safe.”

Hawkeye nods, and with that, they part.

After leaving the apartment building, Roy takes out the map and resumes searching. It’s late and dark, so it’s hard to see, but he made a promise and he intends on seeing it through.

Several false hopes and two hours later, and after realising that he’s too tired to search effectively, Roy heads back towards his own apartment. 

He almost misses the glint that catches the light near his shoe.

Bending down, he makes out the shape of a dog collar to the right of the sidewalk, close to the road. He picks it up to examine - and, as he suspected, the glint that caught his eye was the tag on the collar with Black Hayate’s details inscribed. 

That’s not all, though - with a sinking feeling, Roy walks closer to the nearest lamppost to get a good look at the collar, and notices the dark red of blood.

Oh, no, he thinks. Please, no.

***

He’s outside her door the next morning, about to knock when she opens it - before standing back in surprise.

“Colonel? What are you doing here?”

Roy takes a breath before holding out the collar. “I found this on my way home last night,” he explains.

The Lieutenant takes the collar - clean of blood, because he’s not about to give Hawkeye a blood-covered collar belonging to her missing dog - from his hand gingerly, fingers brushing over the tag. “Where did you find it?” she asks.

“On the sidewalk, near my apartment.” 

In between examining the collar, the Lieutenant looks up and evidently notices something in Roy’s face that gives away his unease.

“... There’s something else,” she realises. 

He really doesn’t want to do this to her.

“There was blood on the collar when I found it,” Roy says carefully, watching the Lieutenant’s face to judge her reaction.

Her expression doesn’t change, but her face pales considerably.

“It could mean nothing,” he rushes to amend. “A small cut, something inconsequential.”

“Of course,” Hawkeye says, and the layer of ice in her tone is back.

“Lieutenant-”

“Thank you for returning this to me, Colonel. Are you continuing to headquarters after this?”

“I am, yes. Maybe you should come with me. We can regroup with the others and concentrate the search around the area where I found the collar.”

The Lieutenant appears to consider this briefly before nodding shortly. Without any further conversation, she shuts the front door behind her and starts walking.

When they enter the office at HQ, Havoc and Breda are already present, despite it being an hour earlier than any of the team would be there on any other day. 

“Morning,” Havoc greets, already making his way over to the map covered in marker pen. “I’ve marked off my and Breda’s locations from yesterday already. New day, new dawn, we’ll have Hayate back to his owner in no time.”

Breda, however, is eyeing the collar in Hawkeye’s hand. “Is that what I think it is?” 

After a glance towards the Lieutenant, Roy explains the situation himself. There’s a beat of silence after he finishes speaking before Havoc is practically tripping over himself to reassure Hawkeye, with Breda following suit. Roy leaves them to it, adding his own marks to the map from his search last night and circling the area surrounding the street he found the collar on. Falman enters not too long afterwards, and after they explain (again), they start to plan with their updated information. However, as time goes on, Roy notices the Lieutenant beginning to fiddle nervously with the collar.

Before he can ask, she voices her concerns.

"We shouldn't tell Fuery about the blood," she says suddenly, cutting the current conversation short.

"Are you sure…?" Falman asks hesitantly. Hawkeye nods. 

"All sorts of conclusions can be drawn from something like that," she states. "It would only worry him, and-"

The Lieutenant inhales, about to continue, but the breath catches in her throat. As she coughs to clear it, Roy notices her hands gripping the collar so hard her knuckles have turned white, and he realises that the ice is about to crack - and that the following few minutes aren't going to be anything that Hawkeye wants to be witnessed.

"Lieutenant," he says gently, "my office?"

She nods and ducks in, and he follows.

After shutting the door, he turns to the blonde, who has her face turned away from him. 

"I'm alright," she says quietly, after a moment. "I just needed a minute."

Roy studies her for a moment; although he can't see her face, he can see the Lieutenant's shoulders shake and guesses that she's repressing tears. 

Before he can say anything, he hears an "Oh, hey, Chief!" Through the door, and feels the urge to slam his head into a wall. He really doesn't want to deal with Fullmetal today.

"I'll be one minute," he assures the Lieutenant, then opens the door and steps out, letting the door close behind him.

"Hey, Bastard," Fullmetal says cheerfully. "Is the Lieutenant here?"

"She's busy," he replies flatly. "What do you need to see her for?"

"Well," Ed starts, and then Fuery enters the office, beaming ear to ear, closely followed by Alphonse.

Alphonse, who is holding a very familiar Shiba Inu in his arms.

Edward and Alphonse Elric suddenly become two of Roy's favourite people in this world. 

"I owe you about ten favours," he breathes, which he'll regret later, but right now he couldn't care less. 

He opens the door back to poke his head into the office and beams at the Lieutenant.

"Someone's here to see you," he grins, before opening the door wider to allow Ed, Al and Hayate into view.

Hayate jumps from Al's arms and bounds across the room to his master, who greets him with matching excitement, gathering up the Shiba Inu into her arms.

"Hayate!" The Lieutenant holds him tightly to her, before giving him a series of kisses atop his head. "Where have you been? Oh, BraHa, don't you ever run off like that again, I was so worried …"

She turns to the brothers then, eyes suspiciously red-rimmed. "Where did you find him?"

"Around the bins in the hotel near the station," Ed says. "We didn't even know he was missing."

"If Rebecca ever tells me I'm wrong again I'll remind her of this," Hawkeye mutters under her breath.

"Oh, he had a little scratch!" Al advises, "I think he might have gotten it trying to get through a fence or something like that. It doesn't look too bad, though!" 

Hawkeye smiles gratefully at the boys, while Hayate licks at her face gleefully. "Thank you, Edward, Alphonse." 

"A-Ah, it was no problem!"

"Yeah, anytime, Lieutenant!" 

The Lieutenant buries her face into Hayate's fur, trying (and failing) to disguise a sniffle. The look of panic that crosses Ed's face is quite something.

"Uh - a-are you -"

"The Lieutenant will be just fine," Roy interrupts, ushering the brothers out of the room. "We'll be with you in a few minutes. I'm sure the rest of the team can keep you entertained by catching you up on the past couple of days."

Once the door is shut once more, Roy approaches the Lieutenant. 

"Are you okay?" He asks softly, receiving a nod in return.

"I'm fine, really," Hawkeye says, somewhat muffled by Shiba Inu. "I'm not quite sure why I'm - all -"

"It's been a long few days," Roy says. "Don't be ashamed to cry." 

"I'm not crying," Hawkeye protests; at which moment Hayate decides he wants to be free from her arms and jumps down to run under Roy's desk, leaving her with no face shield. The Lieutenant attempts to hide her face within her elbow instead, but Roy catches her arm before she can. There are tear tracks on her cheeks and fresh tears welling in her eyes, but she's still attempting to contain them.

The ice doesn't have to crack. Not if it can thaw slowly first.

"Riza," he says. "It's-"

Before he can finish, Riza wraps her arms around his waist and buries her face into his shoulder. Roy completely seizes up for a moment, wondering what on earth to do or say and where does he put his hands?  before reminding himself that he's not seventeen anymore, quit blushing, and places his arms lightly around her. They remain like that for a few minutes, quiet except for the occasional sniff from the blonde head resting on his shoulder, until he opens his mouth to speak and is cut off.

"Don't," Riza says. "You'll ruin the moment." 

"Well, now the moment is over," Roy replies jauntily, "And it wasn't even me who broke it."

"Better I do it than you. You'd make some stupid remark about having damsels in distress crying in your arms."

Roy gasps. "I would never ."

"Everyone in the room next door can vouch for the fact that you would ."

"If you'd like to invite them in to watch us hug, then, by all means, be my guest."

"Nothing wrong with a hug between friends, Colonel."

"Right. Yes. Of course."

Friends.

Because they can't be anything more than that. No matter their history, or the way they're holding each other right now, or the longing, aching want that Roy has for more - there's too much at stake for them to risk anything more. That, and the notion of the two of them finding happiness in each other, after all they've done…

It's not something they can entertain. Not now, and maybe not ever. But a hug between friends… he'll settle for that. 

Or, he would, if Black Hayate didn't decide that he needed attention and needed it now, leaping up between them. Riza laughs - possibly the most beautiful sound Roy's ever heard - and scoops Hayate up into her arms again while Roy gives him head pets, and they dote after the runaway dog until he gets bored of them and seeks out the rest of the team for company.

 ***

Later on in the evening, as Roy is sitting alone in his apartment and starting to consider if getting a cat would be a good idea after all - maybe he could take in the next stray that Alphonse picks up - his phone rings.

"Hello?"

"Colonel," a familiar voice sounds through the phone. "Sorry for bothering you at this hour."

"That's alright, Lieutenant. Is everything alright? How's Hayate?"

"He's fine," Riza answers, "We're both okay. I just… wanted to call. And to thank you.”

“You don’t need to thank me for anything,” Roy says. 

“I noticed, by the way.”

“Noticed what?”

“You marked off more areas on the map this morning than the part of the city that we covered last night,” Riza remarks. “You didn’t need to do that. So thank you.”

Of course she noticed - it would be stupid of him to think she wouldn’t, she is ‘The Hawk’s Eye’, after all - but that’s not why. Riza knows he’d stay out to look for Hayate for the same reason Roy knows how to do her hair, or how she likes her tea. They’ve been together long enough.

“You’re welcome, Lieutenant.”

The conversation moves on to other things then - old rumours recirculating around command, the last dramatic breakup between Havoc and another now-ex-girlfriend, stories from Roy’s sisters. They can only talk for so long, and the conversation comes to a natural end, but before he can hang up the phone a thought strikes Roy.

“Thank you,” he says suddenly, an echo of Riza’s words from earlier.

There’s a confused pause. “What are you thanking me for?”

“For calling,” he answers simply. “That’s all.”

There’s a tiny huff of amusement from Riza’s end of the line. “Anytime, Colonel.”

“Oh, anytime ?”

“Anytime before midnight .”

Even after he hangs up the phone, Roy notices the cold loneliness of the empty apartment around him doesn’t sink in as deeply. 

So, he thinks, between strictly platonic hugs, late nights with tea, and phone calls… yeah, he’ll settle for that fine.

That, and maybe a cat - so long as it doesn’t get lost.