#i love character creators too much
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I know damn well I misunderstood the assignment but we roll, I'll understand it some day
It's killer and dust btw. If you couldn't tell. Which you probably couldn't.. forgor to say but shhh 🤫 Killers having a convo with himself..
..I kinda wanna change my url but idk to what
#I got this compliment once and I was like :3 bc I like compliments. then 4 days later I recognise the name and pfp on#on a tumblr I rlly rlly like bc they're super cool make super cool art and has super cool ideas and I'm just like woah they complement me s#so I search my notifications to find which post they complimented me on and I find out. they're following me. ummm IJWEHFOIWJ#i just can't get over this bc they're literally so cool what#anyways#I got two whole documents of canon dust things and one ao3 of canon things about killer#so I'm learning a way to do justice to the creators image while still putting my own twist on it bc I love fanon and that's how I grew up#I'm literally so passionate about fanon. specifically Gacha fanon bc it's literally so fun and no one else know that#like. literally everyone just like had terrible experience apparently idk how I didn't experience that#am I the only one who knows these characters still had lore Ben though unrelated to anything canon at all#anyways I'm rambling too much whoops#sans au#utmv#undertale au#sanscest#if u want#killer sans#dust sans#kist#if u want...#LOVE affair#teaching myself to use this tag too but eh#did you know Horror is more likely to be a part of the bad Sanses than Dust#Jesus fuck I rambled these tags to hell
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in loving memory
or: what did @pkmn-monochrome mean by this
#pokepasta#pokemon monochrome#this string of updates has had me so fucked up. whats going ONNNNN!!!!!!!#i really wanted to draw this panel its such a striking image. (wearing tshirt that says 'i noticed the secret')#i want to put cody under a microscope. like whats wrong with them. like god they deserve better they deserve SO much better#but also damn dude you have ISSUES huh. like 'ive already said too much' um. Um?????????????????#cody u need to stop keeping secrets. like id like to think i understand why given theyve said it outright#(its not our business. its for the sake of survival. and the players perception of them would almost certainly change once these truths-#come forward.)#i know the creator said that it WILL come forward eventually one way or another and i await that with fear and excitement#cause for something to be so deeply and desperately hidden for fear of DEATH... that must be a pretty nasty skeleton in the closet cody.#and tbh 'ive already said too much' makes me wonder how much has gone unspoken abt red and leaf too. like god codys so good at being just.#OBTUSE with the players. an expert in toeing around the truth and saying only Just enough but never Everything.#theyre such a fascinating character to read i fucking love monochrome the writing is awesome
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i feel like im not making any sense but does anyone else feel like there are stories that let u run with them and ones that spell everything out for you
#im reading that post that says artists are directors of audience reaction and not its dictator:#'you cannot guarantee that everyone viewing your work will react as you are trying t make them react. a good artist knows that this is what#allows work to breath. by definition you cannot have art where the viewer brings nothing to the table ... this is why you have to let go of#the urge to plainly state in text exactly how you think the work should be interpreted ... its better to be misinterpreted sometimes than#to talk down to your audience. you wont even gain any control that way; people will still develop their opinions no matter what you do#im thinking abt this again cuz i was thinking maybe the thing that lets adventure time work so well the way it does is cuz it doesnt#take itself too seriously that it gives the audience enough room to fuck with subtext and then fuck with them back yknow. i think it was#mentioned somewhere that they werent even planning to run with the postapocalyptic elements that are hinted in the show but changed their#mind after the one off with the frozen businessmen and dominoed into marcy and simons backstory. on the other side there are stories that#explain too much to let the story speak for itself and i think it ends up having to do more with the crew trying to lead ppl in a certain#direction than expand on what they have and i see a lot of this with miraculous. like when interviews and tweets are used as word of god in#arguments and it becomes a little stifling to play around with it knowing the creator can just interject. u can say its the crews effort to#engage with its audience but it feels more like micromanaging. and none of this is to say there ISNT room for stories that spell things out#theyre just suited for different things. if sesame street tried abstract approaches to themes and nuance itd be counterproductive#a lot of things fly over my head so i need help picking things apart to get it- but it doesnt have to be from the story itself. ive picked#picked up or built on my own interpretations listening to other ppl share their thoughts which creates conversation around the same thing#sometimes stories will spell things out for you without being so obvious abt it that it feels like its woven into the text. my fav example#for this might be ATLA using younger characters as its main cast but instead of feeling like its dumbed down for kids to understand why war#is bad its framed from a childs point of view so younger audiences can pick up on it by relating to the characters. maybe an 8 year old#wont get how geopolitics works but at least they get 'hey the world is a little more complicated than everyone vs. fire nation'. same for#steven universe bc its like theyre trying to describe and put feelings into words that kids might not have so they have smth to start with#especially with the metaphors around relationships bc even if it looks unfamiliar as a kid now maybe the hope is for it to be smth you can#look back to. thats why it feels like these shows grew up with me.. instead of saving difficult topics for 'when im ready for it'#as if its preparing me for high school it gave me smth to turn in my hands and revisit again and again as i grow. stories that never#treated u as dumb all along. just someone who could learn and come back to it as many times as u need to. i loved SU for the longest time#but i felt guilty for enjoying it hearing the way ppl bash it. bc i was a kid and thought other ppl understood it better than me and made#feel bad for leaning into the message of paying forward kindness and not questioning why steven didnt punish the diamonds or hold them#accountable. but im rewatching it now and going oh. i still love this show and what it was trying to teach me#yapping#diary
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You know what I love about this show so much?
The kindness. The understanding. The redemption.
And that's in the setting of fucking Hell. The irony.
The characters are deeply flawed. They make a lot of mistakes. They fuck up even trying to fix things.
But they are trying. They have a lot of virtues, too, even though they don't see them themselves. They slowly but surely process their problems. They work around their trauma and the conditions they were raised in, deeply affected by it, hurting but still powering through, learning, and developing.
Although we are far from the end of these characters' journey, the SpindleHorse team does an amazing job of making these characters sympathetic, believable, and real. They give you the information and the opportunity to understand how complicated things are, how both sides of the conflict can be understood and blamed at the same time.
And the main thing? The forgiveness and redemption. You want these characters to do better, to be better, of course. But you also want them to be loved, despite the fact that what they did was obviously wrong.
You, as the viewer, already forgive them, and you just want them to forgive themselves. To allow themselves to be loved.
When I watched the show and saw them making the same mistakes I did, some horrible things I wouldn’t forgive myself for and struggled with for years, I suddenly understood the struggle. I empathized with them. I wanted to give them a hug. I wanted to comfort them and promise that things would get better and encourage them to give it one more try, one more talk. I wanted to scold them for self-loathing because I know all too well the kinds of dark places it can lead you to sometimes.
And then the thought comes to mind, "Can I afford a bit of this empathy for myself too? Just allow myself to live with the fuckup and allow myself to be human?"
It didn't fix me. But it eased my turmoil and taught me to understand it better. It taught me some empathy, too, and I thought I was the one with the emotional ingelligence of a nightstand. Well, I still kinda am, but at least I learned to listen to people sometimes.
I just want to thank the whole team who worked on Helluva Boss for all the self-reflections I experienced with their creation.
Thank you.
#I think a lot of characters could be placed in there#but you know I mainly refer to our favorite disasters stolitz currently are#talking about Stolas and Blitz specifically#I see Blitz and how he self-sabotages and hates himself#I see Stolas and how he struggles with his legacy as a privileged person and as an abuse survivor#and I love how deep and complicated they are#because I also see protective and caring Blitz#I also see gentle and kind Stolas#they both have so much good in them#and bad too#but the redemption is possible and they deserve it#and I love the series for demonstrating that they deserve love despite everything#and I know there are plenty of fans hating on Blitz or Stolas or anyone else but I don't think they really get the idea creators had#so I don't take them into account#akira's philosophical blabbering#helluva boss#kinda personal#idk even know which tags to add here#stolitz#stolas#blitzø
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Super Duper!
#gravity falls#bill cipher#stanford pines#i still do not know why i am drawing them as young frankenstein#but well. i am.#i simply like bill as the creator and ford as the dancing monstrosity#if anyone can go and pick out the exact frame that i referenced from the movie for this then congratulations#also the musical version of puttin on the ritz is so stuck in my head rn#this was originally a sketch#and then i lined it#and then i was like huh it wouldnt be TOO hard to draw a curtain#and then well. it is no longer a sketch#im having a great time. i love drawing gf characters so much#especially you bill <333333#fluffle art
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HUEY IS FINALLY 3 YEARS OLD???
LET'S GOOO-
*ahem*
Anyways I don't have any gift for the moment because of... you know.
Oh well, I guess I'll only say this:
Happy birthday Huey! 🎉🎂
Huey and Scarfy by @xxtc-96xx
(Thank you TC for showing me your awesome concepts ^^)
#I know this is a fictional character but aaaaa I love his character so much aeeee 😭#TC WHY YOU GOTTA BRING THIS PRECIOUS BEAN IN THIS WORLD NOW I CRI 😭😭😭#Funny enough tho... A fictional character's birthday can be another creator's birthday 🤣#mewtwo#mewtwo oc#Also yes I'm not using traced drawing anymore. 🥲 This is my true drawing#I liked how it came out. And hopefully TC agrees too... that is if she ever finds this out 💀#Alright I'm talking too much now bai-#Huey you better not die now
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PJO: we need to recognize the value of the minor gods. The Olympians are important, sure, but the minor gods do a lot of work in maintaining and assisting the pantheon, have their own kids and deserve to be seen and valued just as much
HoO: Back at it again with Olympian-only nonsense!
#i really really think that half the team should've been minor gods and the other half olympians with Hazel as a bridge between the two#because pluto/hades borders the two worlds#happy talks pjo#i just think there's so much value in showing that the other kids can be just as powerful#why couldnt piper have been a daughter of eros? it would've changed nothing about her powers other than erase her weird feud with drew#but lmao that still could've happened#frank didnt have to be the son of mars there are a million other war gods out there that couldve tacked onto him instead#he could've been reyna's half brother! or the son of Honos (chivalry honor and military justice) or Virtus (bravery and military strength)#idk any other fire deities for greece other than hestia whose a virgin and thereby not applicable#i guess Prometheus? maybe? idk#the creativity and engineering aspect of Leo's character can exist independent of who his father is#man actually son of prometheus would be a good look for leo#the prophecy comes to light and people see the betrayer of the gods and are wary#but his arc is a representation of how yeah Prometheus betrayed the gods but saved humanity#plus some myths depict Prometheus as the creator of humankind so I'd love gaea trying to entice Leo to join her side#by offering the chance to rebuild the world how he wants with people who love and admire him#god wait no im getting too into rhis someone stop me
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Dont mind me:3
I- Tsu.. You didn't need to... But.. Yeah, uh... Thanks..😅💛
(no pressure, but if you can read the tags, I'd be happy! and that doesn't just apply to tsu but to everyone)
#I know this is a sign of affection. but sometimes it gets in the way a bit when you go to see how the content is “doing”..#for me. it's not necessary to reblog the same post so many times. even if you really like it. show affection behind words. for example.#because I don't necessarily care.#but reblogging so many times (more than once or twice) gets in the way a bit when I go to check how the blog is#growing and getting recognized...#don't get me wrong. I'm really happy that you like my content.#it's really an honor to receive so much affection and I would like to reciprocate too!#but if I'm going to ask you for something. try to reblog just once or twice now. okay?#I really like you. tsu. and I appreciate all the affection. you are very special to me and I love seeing you enjoying my things.#so I apologize a thousand times if this makes you sad. but I needed to say and ask this..#If you don't want to do it. that's fine. but at most trying (who knows. reblogging three or four times) would be good. I would be very happy#! and I would even like to receive a “like/heart” from you. seeing you always liking and reblogging. it's really great.#so I would really appreciate it if you could follow my suggestion and I hope you have a wonderful day/nigh! ^^#tsutsuji#my friend <3#send asks#send me asks#asks#i'm mel and this is my blog✌️#my art blog#art#my art#my art <3#art mel#my art style#mel creator#my oc character
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Being a woc fan of Bridgerton can be a struggle, especially when it comes to liking the poc characters on the show, especially the woc. Like I remember when s1 came out and the blatant microaggressions and just plain racism coming from this fandom was atrocious. You had people spewing very hateful things about Charlotte, Marina, and Simon and undermining the latter two's pain and trauma at the hands of the white characters---Marina was treated terribly by the Featheringtons and, whether you like Penelope or not, you cannot deny that she also played a part by releasing that letter to the Ton and Simon was violated Daphne no matter how people try to spin the story to offer her some form of sympathy (it still blows my mind that people would want to though).
S2 is just as bad (not even including how they changed the Sharma family's storyline than how it was in the books when that wasn't necessary) and the racist undertones many of the fans have towards Mary and Edwina (as well as Kate but for her it's carries more brown woman needing to be saved by a white man when Anthony is involved because a lot of you all in the fandom are quick to use this trope such as "oh, he's the only one who truly knows her"). The lack of screen time for this family really ends up hurting them to but even with that, whether you like Mary and Edwina or not, it would be a lie to deny the racism a lot in the fandom hold towards them (and how that falls onto the actresses because it was very apparent how many in the fandom couldn't let two Desi women shine without having to bring down the other and Netflix played into that too for drama) and paints every small thing they do as being terrible crimes but in the same breath will not have the same smoke for the Bridgertons, who have their own set of problems (but because they are also the main family, among other things, they are provided more grace without consequences).
#bridgerton#edwina sharma#kate sharma#mary sharma#marina thompson#queen charlotte#simon basset#like fandoms can be a very hostile place especially toward poc#and don't even get me started on some fans acting like they care about the poc characters but only still fall into the tropes i presented#im nervous for how this post will be received bc ngl when people call out the racist antics in bridgerton people love to downplay it#and that's just not right (for any fandom)#and this impacts actors too bc there should be no reason that charithra can hardly be excited about her role in the show#or how ruby had received so much hate that (probably) as a result had two breakdowns#on top of still being asked by polin and pen fans to denounce marina to uplift their white faves#dni if you can't have a calm conversation here#also seeing the creator of the show say for s3 kathony that there won't be as much angst#more happy couple scenes irks me in a way bc that amount of angst didn't have to flood s2 if they weren't so concerned with pointless drama#like the books themselves gave enough angst without the engaged to your sister plotline and such#also would have made anthony seem like less of a prick and actually respect a woman's honor but nope#don't even get me started on how it seems more common for the poc characters to have to gripe and struggle#(especially with things that....they should not be blamed for) at the hands of or as result of white characters#when in the same breath that courtesy isn't extended to said white characters#(e.g. marina having to push colin in pen's direction even though both failed her#to simon begin assaulted and then blamed for it by daphne and the narrative#to kate having to move mountains to grow (even though for most part she wasn't wrong) but don't even see anthony apologize for his actions)#all the actors especially the woc experience racism (and other forms of discrimination) from this fandom#i haven't even gotten into the shitshow from some fans towards simone and the actor who plays simon#as well as the racism the actresses for queen charlotte faced#a lot of yall need to do better
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fucking around in code vein
#made my son#code vein spoilers#its just a bg but nyeh#as if anyone cares literally NOBODY has played this game istg#one of my fav games evr i love it sooo much#^_^#text#character creator sebek#when character creator gives u zigzaggy eyebrows#u have to sebek#I tried to make him more knighty but he looked too silver owl so#dialed that back#I used to b a class called queenslayer and NO asdyusadgyusdag no I changed it lmao#now hes dark knight with a (lightning damage) halberd ^_^#is it a good build NO but it is aesthetic#making his hair was a FUCKING NIGHTMARE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#ACTUALLY INSANE U CAN PICK HIS ACTUAL VA FOR THE VOICE#I DIDNT KNOW
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made my Hawke in bg3. um 😳
#my angry girlboy guard dog :3#it was supposed to just be a fun little time in the character creator but noooo i just couldn’t help myself.#told myself Gale was a too obvious option and he doesn’t have the same unhinged dyke charm that Leo loves about Anders but. well.#he permadied and i had to do his weird and convoluted resurrection ritual and he has something to say about everything i do#so they talk to each other soo much more than anyone else and his approval is already at High after less then 6 hours and. yeah.#the wheels are in motion now. no going back#your daily dose of idiocy#leo hawke#dee plays bg3
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my BG3 character has developed such a strong personality that he keeps trying to break out of the game and make himself into the main character of an original story, which I am attempting to discourage, because God knows I do not need another WIP on my hands. I'll just draw pictures of him instead
#the BG3 character creator is good but it doesn't allow me to add all the details i'd like#i want him to have a big lady dimitrescu-style hat with a bat hanging upside down from the brim#he loves all animals but he's especially nice to rodents because he once ate a live mouse for a bet#and has been carrying the guilt on his shoulders ever since#he wears dark glasses. he gets sunburned in minutes. he has bad teeth from eating too much fruit#just a sad creepy little guy!!!#i love him
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“oc question #3: if they could have a real life conversation with you, how would it go?” curtesy of ‘_..darr1ingz.._’ on tiktok.
at some point, the conversation became one-sided and more of me psychoanalyzing them. it kinda resembles a letter format, but if you pay attention, there are gaps where it seems like dallas (he/him) responds. extra notes are at the top of my tags. have fun reading!
total words: 2,329. writing under cut:
i’d ask dallas what its like to see all these worlds. yes, i know i made you and the conversations you have but i desire connection i cannot have.
what is kismadoré actually like when everything is sewn together lovingly? did you feel loved, even if it was temporary? are the city streets worn down with love and care? does it show the world that city of life is, indeed, living? that there is water in it���s roots?
what’s your handwriting like? did you ever decide to go to college in a universe? if so, what was your major? did you get multiple degrees? what was your favorite class? least favorite? favorite teacher? do you have a favorite fun fact? please tell me.
where there times you were genuinely scared for your life? are you afraid of me? of the complete power and creation i hold over you? i’m so sorry i hurt you.
do you have a favorite stuffed animal?
what was your father’s name? do you hate me for what i did to him? do you hate me for what i did to your mother? do you hate me? i caused all this hurt for you. you could’ve survived if i gave you a happy life. i could’ve made you a loving father, but i don’t know what that looks like. i could’ve gave you your mother, but i’ve never seen my mother and father exist in the same place and not be at each other’s throats. do you forgive me? please don’t forgive me. i love you. i wish i could be you. do you hate me? i killed alibi. i killed skip. i killed you. they’re dead because of me. they had to start a rebellion because of me. your father is cruel and evil because of me. would you kill me if you had the chance? do you wish you could see them again? i’m so sorry.
you know this is real, right? you are real. you exist because i exist. i made you and i am still making you. you are something i will always come back to. you make me happy. you make my friends happy. they love you. yes, really. i wouldn’t lie to you about that.
did you know alibi is based off my friend? they created kit’s design. i made alibi into themself. did you know that one of the potential names for alibi was mochi? there was supposed to be another in the resistance crew. i scrapped them early on.
what’s it like to shoot a gun and know every shot has killed? i’m sorry. is the metal cold to the touch? does it burn your hands with memories? does your finger still sit perfectly on the trigger? even if you try to bury the subconscious knowledge of how to do anything with that wretched thing? it’s why you got your namesake, after all. i’m sorry. i don’t like guns, either. i wanted you to be safe.
you need to let go of the mask. stop pretending you are fine. people want to help. remember what we say about communication? it is key.
who was the person who killed you? i don’t know who they are, just that they were misguided and brainwashed into hating you. i’m so sorry. you could’ve had another friend before you died.
what’s your favorite plant? did you ever hide in the willow trees like they were curtains? what is the easiest tree to climb? does that one tree still have bark torn off from how often you guys tried to climb it? do you remember the tree that bore fruit and attracted the many flutters of butterflies? and how they rested gently on your hands and chest? how you held out your arm and several would perch on your arm like it was an extension of the tree? and didn’t that one butterfly land on your nose? did you have fun?
theres so much pressure on you. i’m sorry.
juno and asmo are okay. they survived. you know this, right? i’m sorry you didn’t get to see them heal. they miss you.
do you still wish on acorns? do you still play the violin? do you still dance in the rain with a big smile on your face? do you still dance around the tall bonfire to songs of kismá? and what of the picnics in flower fields?
i’m sorry you had to hide guns in a basket of flowers. i’m sorry you had to be paranoid and hypervigilant. i’m sorry i ruined your breathing with the orange gas.
do you still share folk stories to the multiverse about kismadoré?
whats your favorite color? is it green like me? how is it that we are so similar but so different? i made you in my own image, but the mirror reflecting me is distorted.
whats your favorite form to stay in? do you have any favorite jewelry pieces? what is your favorite dessert?
you can see the indents from when i made you—like clay. does that mean i messed up or does it show the care that i put into you? molding you until you grew into something i cannot be?
do you have a favorite memory? do you have more? what was it like to sit in the desert at a campfire, surrounded by people you love? did you have the heart to say that you might not survive this run to freedom? what was your reaction to the walls falling? i’m sorry your home is so corrupt.
what new dishes came about in kismadoré that i’ll never be able to try? what cultures meshed to make one giant city? had anyone ever tried mixing soul food and japanese together?
what songs play at the funeral rites? what colors do you wear to mourn?
do you still know cardinal directions like the back of your hand? it’s because of the compass, right? does kismadoré have an official animal? official dish? is it recognized on maps? if it isn’t, i’ll write it into canon. how many people live in kismadoré? i know the initial population was small. oh wow. that’s a lot.
whats some of the funniest reactions people have had to your powers?
are your fingers burnt from the fires? do you lose sensation in them sometimes? does the cold make your bones hurt? i know it does for me. how bad are the scars in person? i’m sorry. i’m so, so sorry.
do you have a favorite book? what genre do you like? i have so many recommendations. do you have any for me?
do you draw? paint? can i see? it’s totally okay if you don’t want to show me. how’s your poetry coming along? any favorite symbols you love to throw in? yeah, floriography is great.
were you aware when asmo blessed you as you bled out in her lap? she recited the poem. ‘may the stars be there to guide you.’ that one.
i’m sorry. i took you away right after you finally got your freedom. do you think that’s cruel of me? you got it eventually, just not in the way you expected.
what is time like if time is not linear?
you know you are allowed to be loud, right? it is your right. it is in your nature. kismá calls to ask you why you aren’t screaming and yelling and singing and crying and clapping and stomping and dancing and whistling and humming and laughing and breathing and living and why are you not shaking the stars with excitement and joy because you are loved, my dear, did you know that? did you know that your heart beats in your chest, even if it is out of tune? the blood in your veins makes music you cannot even comprehend. the wind makes a sound that we can copy and sing along with. the water is clean for you to wade into. kick it around and laugh. your clothes get wet, but that is nature. the wind will hug you as it passes. its cold but it means well. the flowers dance even in the midst of a hurricane and so will we. we will dance even when crying. that is the beauty of it. sá boé dáli, sá baoyă dáli.
do you still think of them? the nostalgia is lethal. but does lethality even matter to someone who cannot die? do you indulge yourself with poison just to wonder what could have been? when did you forget their faces? when did you forget their voices? do you know this is self-destructive? of course you don’t care.
does your home still affect you? are you kintsugi pretending to be a person? do you know where each you used to be? where on your porcelain vessel lays the tiles of the child soldier? the fake confidence and paranoia of the resistance leader? the people-pleaser? the scared child? and did you get your eyes from the gods who remade you? the gods who held your cracked form gently and helped heal you? at what point are you not a person anymore? how cracked is the still, cold heart that rests in your chest cavity? it contains every person you once were and will be. you can take the man out of the walls, but the walls came crumbling down and embedded themselves into your then fragile, human skin. you can try to pick out the concrete but it’s stuck, it’s there. just like the shrapnel from the bullets that fused themselves to your corpse. you can run, but you can’t hide. you can never avoid the past. do you even want to?
you forget you aren’t human. not anymore. even so, you cling onto humanity like a child crying for their parents. you feel emotions as deeply as the next. you stand next to a human in a vessel that is dead and wonder why you feel as if you don’t belong. your empathy is damaging. your mannerisms mimic something you aren’t. hold onto this. pray for more. do not loose it.
how do you manage your anger? where do you feel it? that’s interesting. can you feel it twist itself between the valves and chambers of your heart? do the thorns of malice pierce your lungs? do you wish it would stop burning in your chest? do you ever have a sick satisfaction with you shoot off insults? do you feel regret when you snap at a loved one? when does it spread to your throat and take it’s wretched hands and choke you? when does it embrace your shoulders in justice? do you give people what they deserve? and what happens if they don’t deserve it? whenever will your lungs be damaged from the live coals that simmer? do you ever cough up the smoke? and when do you grab that gun and deliver retribution? is anger a welcome feeling for you? do you hate the thought of hatred itself? that would be funny. or is it that you fear who you become when you are this monster born of emotions, ash spewing from cracked lips with magma burning in your eyes?
and how do you feel about violence? is it an unremovable part of you? is it in your brain and does tends to stick no matter how hard it clings to your amygdala? what would you be without it? do you still remember how to kill a man? the best place to hit with the bat covered in rusty nails? does the blood still drip from your fingers and onto the floor? do you still feel that automatic reaction to pull out the gun whenever anything bad happens? do you forget how to care about the blood dripping from your fingers? did you still crave it? do you crave for the thing that raised you? do you ever smile when you shoot? have you become desensitized? you hate it. you hate it so much. you love it. the rush of adrenaline. you hate that you crave it. you pull your lips back into a sick and bloody smile when the tyrant is dead. you were numb the first time it happened. why are you so conflicted?
was death cold? what form did it take, if any at all? did it embrace you or was it so sudden that you thought your neck broke? did it unsettle you or did you feel comfortable? or did you feel nothing at all? after all, most are nothing in death. who was the first to meet you? to come and take your hand and lead you to the Garden? and how many times did you refuse that you were safe in Their care? how many times did you die after that until you finally cracked and sobbed and went down that road of healing? did you expect to see your old family in death?
what’s it like holding stardust in your palms? to be able to peek in at universes? to be able to walk among worlds like you are a part of it yourself? what’s it like being everything and nothing at once? can you hold the multiverse’s mysteries in your many arms? do your wings ever get in the way? what’s seeing like with that many eyes? to be so human and so otherly that you are stuck in an eternal venn-diagram, comparing your every move with that of your mortal past and your immortal future? but the past is the future and the future is the past, right? how silly of me to forget.
what will you do from here? now you’ve met me? am i everything you thought of? am i so different from your expectations? am i pressing too hard? wouldn’t you already know this? you’re made to know everything.
i’m sorry for everything, by the way. i think you knew that— yeah. come visit me again. ‘May The Stars guide you.’
#ugh my feelings#they oh so complicated about the oc i love so much#take a shot every time i apologize#this is about dallas striker#btw the oc is just traumatized not a villain#sá boé dáli is a phrase i made up for fictional language please tell me if any of those words actually exist#same with sá baoyă dáli#am i the apathetic creator? am i the one that cares too much?#do i feel too much or too little#started getting bad at the end i think#— DSEM#— xikyuu yaps#oc#original character#oc posting#oc world#oc things#oc thoughts#oc questions#oc writing#oc analysis#original character writing#psychoanalyzing myself#oc psychoanalyzing
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Obligatory benchmark hrothgal
#ffxiv#final fantasy xiv#ffxiv benchmark#hrothgar#hrothgal#my art#lemplort art#I actually love her so much.....#gone on a bit of an oc creation spree with the benchmark#I cant help myself when given any sort of character creator#hence the tomodachi life too lol#oc: sol rayogg
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Elena of Avalor is genuinely such a good show.
#Personal#You know I've never forgotten about this show for a single day even after it ended#Just thinking about it makes me happy already but I recently listened to all the songs again#and directly interacting with the show and rewatching the clips from it hits so much different#I really need to do a full rewatch someday I haven't watched the show in ages#Just episodes I love most or something random for the content making purposes which is certainly not the same as watching for pure enjoymen#I probably realized it long ago but I'm currently in the 'analyzing my life' state of mind#and this show means so much to me on a personal level too because it brings up so many important topics to me as a person#And it just does it so well it's clear to see that creators actually cared about the story they wanted to tell#And really EoA also has absolutely fascinating and unique worldbuilding#and in the combination of important not trivial messages and dynamic layered characters this is just such a solid show#It really deserved to get more recognition#I wouldn't even say attention because lots of attention may cause more harm than good#It's actually more about recognition and acknowledgement#Really I'm not even talking about what a huge impact being a part of the fandom has had on my life#it's worth the whole separate post#I'm just talking about the show itself and how great and meaningful it is#Anyway EoA warms my heart and I'm so happy I encountered this show
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Been seeing too much negativity lately so new tag "game" time: Object show fans and artists, reblog this and talk about your favorite object show artists in the tags (and maybe what you like about their art)
#I HAVE a lot but#jellyaibo of course . hi nate#for 1 morbillion reasons but esp teh gijinkas ofc (and the yaoi#jeakkers for their great composition skills + bgs and creative ideas#not currently drawing much object stuff but dinoburger#very fun way of stylizing characters#and dynamic poses+beautiful backgrounds#my partner nat ichiiart/applefan28#for stylization & insane gijinkas/character design#not a fanartist but object show creator - heloise has my fave artstyle of any object show#AND THE BGS DAMN#also goonsbrain my friend goon#some of my fave object ocs ever#THERES DEF MORE i could do all day on this#literally i love all my mutuals art so bad#oh also schoolunchtray and awseriously/shaperealm have some Very Unique n creative object art#inanimate-sludgesanity has a very awesome style of drawing objects too (and also folder <3 i like him#petra decompose1 also has INSANE ocs n stories#ok ill stop now#unless i think of more
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