#i love carl so much. but i feel like expressing any kind of strong feeling towards any of them is like. uncool now.

[eddie-rifff]

oy vey. im embarrassed to be an elp fan

[whateverisbeautiful]

Kind of related to your last ask, how do you feel the “Judith calling Michonne mom” conversation went? I’ve seen so many people say or insinuate that it just happened without a second thought, just like Rick and Michonne becoming a couple and I…don’t completely agree. I don’t mean that there was uncertainty in whether or not she should play that role in an official capacity. I mean the thought that they wouldn’t discuss it at all. Some big feelings would surface for Michonne with the idea of being called mom again in my opinion. And for Rick, deciding what to tell Judith and when regarding her birth mother and adoptive mother would be a lot as a father. He wouldn’t want to just erase Lori from her life. Also, if this was decided while Carl was still alive, that’s a whole other aspect to it! I don’t think Carl would have chosen to call her mom considering how old he was when Lori died and how she died. I don’t think that would have any bearing on how he felt about Michonne, though. Just his personal choice. I just think it’s a disservice to say “it just happened” about this specific topic.

I figured I'd address both of these questions in one since they're on the same subject. Lots of scenarios regarding this have swirled in my head too @cool-miss-sparkles. I thought about this one for a bit and agree with your points @lazyexceptwhencooking, especially about how being called “mom” again would be a big thing for Michonne and how it wasn’t a topic that just went untalked about between Rick and Michonne. I wrote my thoughts on how I envision it all played out below ⬇️💗:

I do think Rick and Michonne directly addressed the role Michonne has in the kids' lives. What I envision is that after becoming a couple, Rick and Michonne had a conversation where Rick shares that he sees how much Carl and Judith love her and how much she loves them, and he expresses that he views Michonne as an equal parent in their lives. Especially with Judith since they’re both her adopted parents. He'd feel that Michonne has as much right to embrace them as her own if that's something she wanted.

Michonne would know that she really has become a mother to the kids, so she’d accept that official parental role and Carl and Judith as her son and daughter. But she wouldn’t want the kids to be forced or coached into calling her ‘mom,’ so I think she and Rick would agree that the kids can decide in their own time what they’re comfortable referring to her as.

And as you said, Carl continues to call her Michonne because he loves and views her as a mother but also still holds the memory of his mom Lori. It was clear tho that Carl knew the parents Judith recognizes are Rick and Michonne with how he told her to be good for both of them in his final goodbye to his sister and told Michonne she'd have to be strong for Rick, Judith, and herself.

As for Judith starting to call Michonne 'mom,' what I picture is that one day the family is all at home and Judith casually refers to Michonne as “mommy” on her own. Like once Judith began to grasp the concept of mothers, perhaps through noticing that other children in the community refer to the ‘Michonnes’ in their lives as “mom,” I think she’d put together that Michonne is her mom and so she’d start calling her that.

And I think whatever that first moment Judith called Michonne “mommy” looked like would be a very touching one for all of them. Like I think Rick would be beaming from ear to ear when hearing Judith first say that. Carl would know Judith calling Michonne 'mom' doean't erase Lori and he'd be glad that his sister gets to grow up knowing a mother's love.

And for Michonne, it would tug on her heart to know that there's now another little one in the world who looks at her and sees “mommy." I think she was moved and it meant a lot hearing that the first time. And Judith called her "mom/mommy" from there on out. 😊

[turbulentscrawl]

Hi hi! Can I get a matchup please? 🩷

You can call me Mae :) I’m Agender and use any pronouns. My sexual orientation is bisexual, and I tend to lean towards guys more recently, but generally don’t have much of a preference.

In terms of personality; I’m really blunt (almost painfully so) and hate sugarcoating ANYTHING- I value honesty most. I’m an INTJ, way more on the introverted side of that, I’m perfectly happy not speaking to anybody for a few days at a time if I need to rest after a long week of talking. I have a strong fear of abandonment and can act pretty immature when expressing these feelings, along with just having childish fears in general

I’m a multi sport athlete and I’m really good at music - things like singing, composing, ect! My other interests are photography (I’m awful at it though lol), drawing and baking. I just got into weightlifting and that is quickly becoming a hobby as well.

One thing I’m the most interested in is what makes a person act the way they are- what differentiates the brains and genetic codes of ordinary people and criminals, geniuses, ect. I plan to go into a medical research type field in order to work on it more.

I think that’s about it, sorry for writing so much! Have a good day/night :)

Thanks for requesting, Mae! I hope you like it <3

I ship you with William Ellis!

-William is a simple guy who can go with the flow and likes direct communication. He enjoys spending Quality Time with his partners, but would be equally happy to entertain himself when you need more space to decompress. Basically, he doesn’t require a ton of special accommodation and is perfectly fine with adapting to your changing needs and social levels.

-You two would likely meet at some sporting event or in the gym. He’s both friendly and competitive, so he could approach you for any number of reasons and strike up a conversation. You can just straight up tell him you’re fed up with talking and he’s like “alright, cool, here’s my number, text me when you wanna talk again ‘k?”

-On that note, he really appreciates your bluntness. It’s hot, actually. He’s pretty blunt himself, and he appreciates not having to keep track of things like subtext or implications. Life is much easier when people just say what’s on their mind and deal with whatever may come from it.

-You two bond over physical activities. He’s down for literally anything, but he especially likes the weight lifting and would love to talk to you about rugby. Did I mention he’s the best hype-man to have at the gym? …unless you hate the attention it brings, then it’s awful and he’ll do his best to whisper-yell instead. He slips occasionally though, sorry.

-He’s not the most romantic guy around, but he is very loyal and supportive. Anything you want to do, you can do. Anything you DO do, you’re great at. No arguments. Does he know anything at all about drawing or photography? No. But that’s not gonna stop him from picking his favorites that you do and demanding for a copy to keep. Some of them are even framed in his apartment.

-There may be some arguments regarding how you express your fear of abandonment—William isn’t the most insightful guy and isn’t likely to see your insecurities bubbling up until they’re bubbling over—but rest assured he doesn’t take those kinds of arguments to heart. He’s a forgiving guy and really only has lasting issues with people being intentionally malicious. You argued? The next day he’s texting you what you want for dinner like it never happened. All is well.

Runner Up: Aesop Carl

[spencers-renaissance]

The Other Side of the Storm

Summary: Spencer & Luke are not out as a couple but have to attend the same FBI gala where a young, pretty agent insists on flirting with Luke. Misunderstandings and surprising reveals ensue.

Tags: relationship reveal, secret relationship, coming out, jealousy, caught, hurt/comfort, autistic spencer, angst with a happy ending, misunderstandings, found family, est. rel., cuddling & snuggling, domestic fluff

Pairing: Luke Alvez x Spencer Reid

Word Count: 2.7k

Masterlist // Read on AO3

Lets pretend I didn't just disappear for a couple of weeks bc I'm BACK now yay! This is written for a prompt from @ralvezhq who asked: "Ralvez is already dating but no one knows about them yet. they get invited to some sort of FBI gala and a young, accomplished female agent won’t stop flirting with luke and spencer is absolutely not having it so he finds a way to let everyone know they are together." -- I stuck to it except that they're caught rather than willingly confessing, I hope that's okay! I really enjoyed this one, so I hope you do as well.

!!!TW: the woman is very insistent on her flirting and makes Luke uncomfortable when she touches his chest without his consent!!!

“Any particular reason you keep looking over at that table full of Fugitive Task Force members, Spence?” JJ asks amusedly, sipping from her wine glass.

“Mm, I’ve noticed you looking over there a little bit,” Tara muses. “You got your eye on someone?”

Spencer looks down and forces a laugh, but he can feel the tips of his ears turning pink, and knows that he’s not gonna hear the end of this for the rest of the night. The team have never been fond of the FBI Galas they’re forced into attending every year, and unfortunately, Hotch’s usual stunt of pulling a non-urgent case from the stack and jetting off to some far-flung corner of the country to avoid it failed to fool the director this time.

He’d broken the news to them at the start of the week, and conversation in the bullpen has pretty much exclusively revolved around the event ever since. Even Penelope, who loves seeing people win awards and dressing up in her favourite full-glam outfits, has been significantly less upbeat. She only gave him one spontaneous hug all week.

None of them, though, have been dreading it more than Spencer. The others aren’t exactly fond of the faux smiles and convoluted politics and fake niceties either, sure, but tonight he has far more to lose than ever before. Namely, the man sat just out of his direct eye line at the Fugitive Task Force table.

Ironically, he and Luke had gotten ready for the same event together. They’d stood in the mirror side by side and tied one another’s ties in the way that always makes Spencer smile and Luke had gently brushed his hair out of eyes, but when it came time to leave, Spencer called a rideshare, and Luke drove the truck, arriving at completely different times in completely different vehicles.

The thing is, that as much as he loves his team, and as much as the FBI fraternisation policy has been significantly relaxed over the last few years, no one can know they’re together and have been for the last eight months.

Even the thought of Derek or Hotch or even JJ finding out — not only that he’s dating someone but that that person is a man — makes him feel queasy.

Which is why he smiles around an awkward cough and forces himself to meet the eyes of his profiler teammates, fighting every instinct in him to run, leg it out of here, never show your face again.

“No, I’m just looking at the clock above them,” he lies, and it isn’t smooth in any way shape or form but it’ll have to do. “You know I can’t wait for this to end. I haven’t read any Carl Jung in weeks.”

Tara laughs, raising her wine glass slightly. “Now that I understand.”

“Nah, I’m not so sure,” Derek grins slyly, “I think my man has his eye on some girl and he’s just getting a little shy, am I right, pretty boy?” He quirks an eyebrow playfully, leaning over to pat him on the back, and Spencer scrambles to recover.

“Believe whatever you’d like, Morgan,” he says, bringing his own glass to his lips to conceal any tells in his expression. “Doesn’t make it any less false.”

Thankfully, the conversation is interrupted by the Director clearing his throat into the mic on the stage as he introduces the next round of awards. Spencer loses himself in the anonymity of a dark room and a clapping audience, grateful that he’s avoided this round of interrogation.

The rest of the night progresses similarly. Spencer tries to keep his eyes away from Luke’s table — and valiantly attempts to keep from blushing like a schoolgirl when their eyes meet and Luke’s lips quirk upwards in an I-tried-to-stop-it-but-I-just-can’t kind of smile — and the rest of his team rib him pretty relentlessly about this ‘girl’ he supposedly has his eye on.

Hotch tries to get the team to leave him alone, but when a group of skilled, determined profilers all a little tipsy on wine and champagne encounter a friend’s mysterious love life, it’s pretty difficult to stand in their way.

Once dessert is served, though, things rapidly go downhill.

As much as he’s been trying to keep his eyes away from Luke’s table, it’s almost impossible to prevent his gaze from straying in a temporary moment of cognitive lapse every now and then, and while everyone is relatively quiet and occupied, digging into the Belgian waffle dessert, it happens once again. This time, though, instead of a small smile from Luke, he’s rewarded with the frankly heart-stopping sight of a young, pretty agent practically sitting in his lap, trying to feed him dessert.

He looks uncomfortable, and immediately Spencer is hit with an overwhelming wave of insecurity, jealousy, and an urge to protect that strangles his breath for a moment. He stares unabashedly, no longer caring whether anyone sees him because that’s his boyfriend and an extremely pretty woman is all over him and he looks like he wants her to stop, and oh my god, what does he do?

“Is that the girl you like all over that dude?” Derek asks sympathetically, catching onto Spencer’s staring. “It’s alright, man, if she’d choose someone else over you then she’s not right for you anyway. Why don’t you come and enjoy your dessert?”

Spencer senses the rest of the team’s eyes on him, but they don’t say anything, probably from a combination of pity, awkwardness, and confidence in Derek to counsel him through it. He’s hardly cognisant of that, though, instead a roar of emotion crashing through his mind, and he has no idea what to do about it.

When he sees a perfectly manicured hand land directly on Luke’s chest, though; when he sees Luke reject her more firmly, this time pushing her away; when he watches as she clearly gears herself up for some sad protest of self-victimisation, he sees red.

Before he can stop himself, he’s storming across the room over to Luke’s table. “Hi,” he says firmly, audibly pissed off and not in the mood for bullshit, “do you mind if I borrow my friend here? I have some official FBI business to discuss with him. Thanks.”

Without waiting for a response, he grabs Luke’s arm and leads him to the corridor outside the main hall, Luke following quickly and willingly behind him.

“Are you okay?” Spencer asks with his brow furrowed, his hand coming up to gently rest on Luke’s waist as he peers at him concernedly through the dim lighting of the hallway.

“Yes, baby, I’m fine,” Luke smiles reassuringly, raising a hand to Spencer’s face. “I’m sorry you had to see that. She was… persistent.”

“She shouldn’t have made you uncomfortable like that,” Spencer insists, still feeling distressed and anxious despite the immediate situation having been diffused.

“You’re right,” Luke agrees. “And she should’ve listened to me when I told her I was taken. I’m sorry you had to see someone flirting with me so openly like that, carinõ, I know you still get insecure about things like that.”

Spencer sighs, relaxing slowly the more he hears Luke’s voice as steady and strong and kind as it always is. He steps forward and buries his face in Luke’s neck as he nestles in close for a comforting hug.

“You know I only have eyes for you, right, sweetheart?” Luke whispers softly, one arm holding his waist and another tangling itself in Spencer’s loose curls.

He nods into Luke’s neck, but doesn’t make any move to pull away, just enjoying the warmth and closeness of standing so intimately with the man he loves until—

“Spencer!” Derek’s voice pulls him violently from his sweet escape from reality and horror instantly floods him as he jerks away from Luke, staring at Derek in a nauseating mixture of alarm and trepidation.

“What…” Derek stares right back at him as both JJ and Tara come tumbling through the doors behind him, looking ready for a fight—

Oh. That makes sense. They all saw him storming towards a woman they thought he had a crush on, then pull the man she was flirting with out into the most secluded corridor surrounding the hall. Even considering Spencer’s character, he has to admit that the circumstances definitely look like he was gearing up for a fight, and everyone knows that he is not the kind of person who could hold his own against an ex-military man who chases down criminals for a living.

“You’re… not fighting him,” Derek says hesitantly, the puzzle pieces clearly falling into place for him.

Spencer shakes his head minutely, and is only thankful when Luke inches closer and wraps an arm around him. After all, he has nothing more to lose.

“You were looking at him, not her,” Derek continues slowly.

Spencer nods, unable to meet the eyes of any of the three friends standing in front of him.

“You’re dating him,” he says, still sounding shocked, his voice almost entirely numb. “You’re gay.”

“Or bisexual,” Tara offers, and Spencer takes a little comfort in the fact that she doesn’t sound shocked or upset, her voice warm and helpful. He tries to meet her eye, but he can’t work up the courage and buries closer into Luke’s embrace instead.

“Gay,” he whispers.

“Spence,” JJ says quietly, earnestly, “why didn’t you tell us?”

It’s too much to go into right now, too convoluted and long of a story for him to explain when even choking out a single syllable takes a herculean effort, so he shrugs instead.

“We were talking all night assuming you were interested in a woman,” Derek says numbly, more to himself than anything, but Spencer watches out of the corner of his eye as he shakes off the shock and comes back to himself, slowly putting more of the puzzle together as he looks at Spencer. “That’s why you didn’t tell us. We’ve been making assumptions all this time and hurting you in the process.”

“Oh, Spence,” JJ whispers sadly, stepping a little closer.

“I’m so sorry, pretty boy, I— I should’ve known or tried to be more inclusive at least, I’m so sorry I made you feel like this.”

The regret in his friends’ voices and the absence of a negative reaction brings him out of the safety of Luke’s arms slightly. His boyfriend is eyeing him with serious concern, and he tries a smile to reassure him a little, squeezing his hand.

“I’m sorry I didn’t tell you,” he manages, clearing his throat awkwardly as he finally succeeds in making eye contact. “It’s a long story and I’ll tell you another time, but, uh​​— this is Luke. We’ve been together for eight months, two weeks, and four days.”

Luke smiles fondly. “As much as we didn’t expect to reveal it like this, it’s nice to meet all of you properly,” Luke says warmly, shaking everyone’s hands quickly before stepping back to Spencer and interlocking their fingers, pressing a quick but meaningful kiss to his temple.

“I’m really glad you felt able to share this with us, Spence,” Tara says encouragingly, smiling at him in that bright, reassuring way of hers that rivals Penelope in the warmth and comfort it radiates. “I’m proud of you.”

Something about her reaction this entire time has him wondering whether she already knew. He’ll ask her later when he feels less like his heart is still firmly lodged in his throat.

“Me too, kid,” Derek agrees, smiling as well. Spencer wonders whether the initial shock and numb reaction was more a response to his own behaviour than anything about him and Luke, and the thought makes him feel substantially better.

JJ grins, stepping forward and grabbing Spencer’s other hand. “Me three.”

Before anyone can say anything else, the doors are opening again and Penelope is flying through them.

“Oh! Thank god you’re all okay! You just ran off after Spencer and I left you guys to it because I thought you could handle it better than I could but then you didn’t come back and even Hotch was worried, and—” she cuts herself off as she realises everyone staring at her, and slowly she takes in the scene around her. “Oh my god, I’ve missed something. Oh my god, I missed a moment, didn’t I? What have I told you guys about having moments without me? Someone tell me what happened, please, before I explode—”

“Alright, Penelope,” Spencer chuckles, interrupting her. He’s known her for too long to expect her to cut herself off when she’s on a tirade like that. “Uh, this is Luke. My boyfriend.”

“Your… your boyfriend? Oh my god, I finally get to meet him? Wait you told the others? Oh my god I’ve missed so much!”

“Penelope knew?” Derek asks, surprised.

“Half of mine and Spencer’s mutual friends are FBI Agents, and the other half are drag queens, of course I knew,” Penelope dismisses him, “but he wasn’t ready for me to meet his boyfriend yet or even know his name and I very nicely did not go hunting to find him out because I could’ve done that, but I didn’t, because I value you so much as a friend, Spencer, and I’m so glad you finally—”

“Penelope!” Spencer interjects, laughing even more as the tension and distress he’d felt only minutes ago finally melts away fully. “Do you actually want to introduce yourself to Luke, or do you want to keep rambling about drag queens?”

“Right! Yes!” she says eagerly, turning to Luke. “I’m Penelope and it is so nice to meet you, like you don’t even know how much I’ve wanted to meet the man who has my blueberry muffin blushing bright pink in the corner of my batcave while he texts on the phone, and I know you call him carinõ because I saw a text once and it’s the sweetest nickname ever, you are just the cutest, and we are going to be best friends—”

Spencer rests his head on Luke’s shoulder as he listens fondly to Penelope rambling and his friends chatting amongst themselves and everyone getting to know the most important man in his life — the only man he’s ever wanted anything long term with, the only man he’s ever wanted to actually marry one day — and a warm, sweet feeling of contentment floods his chest.

It’s far from the way he thought he’d feel after the team found about Luke, and he savours it, holds it in his mouth for as long as he can before swallowing the memory and filing it away to treasure forever. A moment like this deserves that kind of reverence.

“How are you feeling about tonight?” Luke asks gently as they crawl into bed, tired but happy at gone 2am. He pulls Spencer into his side as soon as they’re under the duvet, resting his chin on his head as he always does.

Moments like these make Spencer smile, the kind of familiar routine that’s so essential to their relationship. Luke had figured out early on that close physical contact and firm touches make him feel safe and settle his racing mind, so they’d worked out positions that made them both feel comfortable, and now relaxing into them is second nature.

“A bit weird,” Spencer admits after thinking for a moment. “I’m happy that they know now and everyone took it well, but it’s strange. A significant part of who I am has been not only that I’m gay, but the dedication I felt to protecting that secret. And now that it’s out, it feels like something private has been bared for my friends to inspect.”

“I think that’s only natural,” Luke muses quietly, pressing a kiss to Spencer’s curls. “It’ll take some getting used to, but you’ll adjust eventually.”

Spencer sighs. “Yeah, you’re right. After I tackle telling Hotch and Rossi, it’ll be nice not to have to hide it. I’ll be able to talk about you at work and maybe even go crazy and put a photo of you on my desk.”

“Wow, that is wild, check you out,” Luke chuckles, before they settle into a comfortable silence in the warm glow of their bedroom. Eventually, he speaks up though, quiet and reverent. “I’m proud of you, carinõ. I really am.”

The words instantly make Spencer smile, a light blush tinging his ears again. He hides his face in Luke’s chest, scooching impossibly closer into his arms. “I love you,” he whispers.

“I love you, too, Spencer,” Luke replies, a happy sigh in his voice.

He reaches over and turns off the bedside lamp. His hand returns to Spencer’s hair and something clicks into place somewhere, a fundamental alignment of the universe that brings a feeling of something so incredibly right as their breathing rhythmically matches to one another and they slide into the welcome embrace of sleep.

I hope you enjoyed that! I had a lot of fun with this one. If anyone has any more ralvez relationship reveal prompts, feel free to send them my way!

Taglist: @criminalmindsvibez @suburban--gothic @strippersenseii @takeyourleap-of-faith @makaylajadewrites @iamrenstark @hotchseyebrows @reidology @spencerspecifics @tobias-hankel @marsjareau @hotchscotchh @oliverbrnch @im-autistic @thataveragenerd @anxious-enby @kuolonsyoja @ropoto @cmily @nudgerox @love-pyramus @notevanbuckley @downwiththedoorpoole @nomajdetective (Add yourself to my taglist here!)

[aphrodite-would-be-proud]

Anon said: I hope I'm not too late to slip in a request! I was actually hoping for a more platonic request with Miche? Just how he would help out a new cadet on his squad or something... Maybe there having a hard time fitting in now that there on a section commander squad or even worried about an upcoming expedition. Miche is one of my biggest comfort Characters and I'm such a shy person lol...I love you blog by the way, it's such a comforting place...🥺

Miche reassuring you that you're enough.

{Miche & reader | tw:none | platonic, comfort | canonverse}

{ "The Interior of the Palm House on the Pfaueninsel Near Potsdam" 1834 by Carl Blechen 1798 - 1840 }

No one can deny that the survey corps had a...certain reputation between the people, for being ruthless, unhinged and not a place for someone hoping for a future.

Their leader is known for gambling with human lives, their strongest has a criminal history record and their most intelligent, does experiments that would put medical student dropout Frankenstein himself to shame.

In short, you'd be crazy for walking there with your own two feet and expecting a crumb of compassion.

You don't go looking for fish in the desert.

You've heard it all, those sayings people keep reciting like a broken record whenever you'd bring up joining the survey corps.

"You'll just end up titan food"

"Why do you want to throw away your life?"

"God your poor family…"

And despite all of that, you still marched on, despite everyone who told you to quit.

Not only did you join and stayed alive for so long, you've even managed to climb the ranks in record time.

So fast in fact that you were assigned to join a section commander's squad after a very successful titan capture mission that earned you a pat on the back from Erwin.

Being pulled from your friends and moved to a new place where you were surrounded by veterans who've been in their positions for 10 years or more, was quite sudden and shocking.

One thing that should've eased your nerves, was the fact it was squad Miche you're being put into.

Anyone in the survey corps can tell you that in comparison to other squads, this was the most...friendly per say, since they prioritised teamwork and coming back alive over everything else, knowing together they're much stronger and willing to protect each other no matter what.

While yes they did have their quirks, it was almost nothing in comparison to Levi's strict hygiene rules and Hange's workaholic routine or Erwin's unreadable intentions.

And yet, you felt unease at the whole situation.

You were clearly "that new cadet" in this old group of close-knit people, almost standing out even.

You wanted to prove yourself, you've done it before to all those people so why is it any different now.

Maybe...because they are actually experienced soldiers this time, and not strangers living in blissful ignorance inside the walls.

Maybe because you feel the growing burden of expectations set on you for being the newest person in the squad, and being put there by none other than the commander himself which would raise some eyebrows if you couldn't deliver.

Uncertainty and doubt began pooling up inside your mind, making you second guess decisions and overthink actions.

And it's not like the squad members were leaving you out, no in fact they were doing their best to include you.

….maybe even too much actually, it didn't help that all of them were outgoing people, it was overwhelming.

Nanaba was an unofficial stand in caption when Miche wasn't around. Having a confident yet compassionate personality made her protective of her teammates, almost like a big sister, earning her a lot of respect.

So much in fact that it would unintentionally intimidate people out of approaching her

Gelgar was a strong believer in Miche, loyal to a fault almost. Yet he wouldn't say no for a chance to relax and grab a couple drinks, being friends with so many people came naturally to him with his mellow personality and overall friendliness.

Maybe a bit much too friendly? That personal boundaries were often crossed without him realising it. 

Lynne was a good balance between the two, she was considerate of others feelings...even so much in fact that she tended to sugar-coat almost everything.

Thomas and Henning were close with each other, both serious and determined. But maybe because they were so used to each other that dealing with new people became...strange, for conversations with them resembled an awkward dad attempting to check on you but not actually putting much effort to understand.

Meanwhile, you were a reserved and shy person.

It was a miracle that you managed to get a group of friends in cadet training that stayed with you throughout the years, but now after being transferred it was all turned to dust.

You have to start again, meet people again and talk to them while wondering if they actually like you or are pretending to be nice because they don't wanna come off as rude-

On top of that, Erwin seemed to keep an eye on you after your last mission, silently conveying the trust and expectations he's putting your way, to not fail him and show you're worthy of this special treatment.

It was too much, too overwhelming and draining.

Dread and uncertainty loomed in the corners of your mind, only metastating in size as the date for the new expedition was announced.

To add fuel to the fire, apparently everyone seemed almost...excited or nonchalant for going out there again, like this is a mere walk in the park as they began making preparations and training.

Were you the only one that felt nervous? Oh god.

Your legs felt like they were weighted down by stones as you stared at the large board in front of you, a white sheet signed by the commander announcing next week to be the date of the expedition, several names listed below for who'd be required for service.

Your name was at the top, even with a line underneath it. The fact it was in cursive didn't make it any less gut-wrenching.

The chatter of people around you, discussing the plans and joking with each other, began blurring out at the back of your mind.

The weather seemed colder as shivers ran down your neck. A rolling feeling in your stomach making your throat tighten, your own voice inside your head was the only noise you could hear.

All those thoughts and worries creeping from underneath the dark corners that you've been pushing them into all this time, like a swarm drowning you in their "what if" and skepticism, full of doubt and illogical pessimism for worst case scenarios.

Thoughts that aren't even your own joined them, ones you never had and knew weren't true and yet amidst the storm it was hard to tell the real from the ones passing through.

You know you're capable, so why…

Are you capable?

Yes…

but are you really?

...

And how are you even sure?

Before it could pull you deeper into that hole of despair, something snapped your attention back to reality, a hand nudging your shoulder. 

"You really didn't hear me huh." The voice came from behind you, a tall figure stepping closer till you were in his shadow.

Miche looked at you with a tilted head, his lips pressed into a thin line as his eyes bore into you like he's attempting to guess what's going inside your brain.

You've been too lost inside your mind you didn't notice that you were the only one left standing in front of the board.

From the way Miche's shoulders fell after reading your expression, eyes softening after glancing at your name on the sheet, he was quick to catch on.

Before you could say something to save your face after being caught in this state by none other than your new captain, Miche just told you to come with him, making sure to walk beside you، protectively staying close that no one on your way would interrupt.

Passing the corridor leading to his office, you gave him an uncertain glance as he simply gestured for you to continue walking for whatever unknown place you're headed to.

Soon enough the buildings and stone streets faded the further you went on, grass and dirt roads taking its place.

It wasn't a long walk per say, but more of a secluded area that took both of you some turns in seemingly shady alleyways to reach.

You couldn't hear the horses or soldiers walking anymore, only the soft flowing of the nearby river.

The tall grass barely reaching below your knees, some ladybugs crawling on top of the scattered daffodils in-between, the closer to the river cliff you got the taller it became.

The first thing Miche did, wasn't explaining to you why you're here, or what exactly he was after.

No, he barely said a word even, only taking in a deep breath as the wind had the courtesy of pushing his bangs back, eyes finally in clear view now.

Gaze meeting yours, he gave you a nod, a gesture to do the same thing.

You reluctantly took a deep breath.

He smiled.

Both of you sat by the river, he gave you his jacket to sit on.

As the silence grew between you, even while it wasn't the uncomfortable kind, it was clear he was struggling to phrase something, the right words just not coming to mind.

Turning his body towards you, he finally said, "how about i just..listen, let it out.".

It wasn't easy, you can't just pour out your heart to your superior.

Not to mention the military wasn't a place for weakness, could you really openly admit to your worries?

Well, yes you could, because it isn't weak, it takes great strength to face something scary and admit to it.

It's strength that got you this far.

How could you ever mistake vulnerability for weakness?

Keeping true to his words, Miche didn't interrupt you as you slowly opened up about what's been troubling you.

He patiently listened, occasionally humming for you to go on whenever you'd lose track.

And by the end of it, after you poured out all your frustration, sadness and worries, it felt...like a weight lifted off your shoulders.

Miche looked at you with understanding in his eyes, as if he himself has been in this exact same position years ago.

...and maybe he was, considering his behaviour wasn't what's socially common, he would've definitely stood out back before he had the respect of being a captain.

He isn't a man of words, for actions spoke much louder.

That's why he became more attentive from that day on, offering to help you train, giving you a smile whenever you passed by and sitting near you whenever his squad were gathered so he'd ask for your opinion on plans or simply share looks whenever they began joking with each other.

He didn't attempt to make you change, instead he made changes to accommodate you.

You're part of the team and he made it clear.

And while he couldn't give reassuring words, he certainly gave his time and energy, paying attention to you, reading your moods and listening whenever life becomes too much.

Maybe he saw his past self in you, and wanted to give you all the comfort, attention and care he wished for back then.

Even if it was mere hugs and shoulder pats that he could offer, he knew small things can make changes overtime.

For him, it's not getting rid of your stress that he was attempting to achieve, no, for life is full of stress.

Instead, he wanted to offer you ways to deal with the stress, to acknowledge it as it is and be heard, to be understood.

Because while stress will pass either way, it didn't mean it had to pass painfully.

You weren't alone, he made sure of that.

Maybe he got too attached, maybe someone might say he's giving you special treatment, maybe Erwin would give him a backhanded comment every now and then.

But since when did Miche pay attention to these things? 

Well...he can't deny he might be giving you more break days than the other Cadets, larger food portions and even most of his time.

But he won't justify himself to anyone either, he doesn't have to.

Because after all, there really isn't any ulterior motives behind his actions, they were as simple as they came.

It was pure genuine care, the type that makes someone want to protect a person and watch them grow healthy.

The type that made him offer you a thumbs up after each training session, a proud smile on his face for how much you're learning.

Maybe some slight teasing about how if you keep this up, you might even replace him as the second strongest one day.

And while he said it with a joking tone, the hopeful pride-filled look on his face told a whole nother story.

you're not sure if it was a joke or a promise.

[pandoraborn]

im so sorry for the vagueness of this, but please. any kind of ghostbur+sbi angst. please.

Characters: Ghostbur, c!Tommy, c!Techno, c!Phil Word count: 1497 words Content: canon divergence, techno’s execution, post exile, Tommy is sick, Techno is injured, gore, blood, whump, angst, hurt/comfort, mention of death, SBI, sleepybois inc,

-------------

He sees the anvil drop.

He sees Techno crumble, falling to his knees before springing back up. Ghostbur can only stare, as if hypnotized by the gory scene before him, because Techno is very much a skeleton, slowly being stitched back together by some unseen force. Logically, he knows it’s the totem of undying working its magic, but emotionally, Ghostbur knows he’s never going to purge this memory from his brain.

He holds Friend closer to himself as he watches Techno jump away and disappear in the following madness. If he had a heart, it’d be pounding rapidly. If he had lungs, he’d be wheezing and gasping in fear. The ability to cry is also nonexistent, leaving the ghost unable to do anything but stare at the empty cage. Ghostbur stares for a long time.

When he looks up at Phil, trying to find some explanation for what happened, he finds that Phil’s house is empty. Phil must’ve snuck out in the chaos, when Tubbo and the rest of the ‘butcher army’ hadn’t been watching.

Now he’s alone. There’s no one else around, no distant voices to help him come back to reality. Reality is watching a long time friend turn into a skeleton and magically stitch himself back together, before running for his life. Reality is his father being put under house arrest simply for protecting Techno.

Reality is Friend bumping into him, startling him out of his swirling thoughts. Ghostbur puts a smile on his face, taking the lead and tugging Friend inside Phil’s house. The sheep will be safe here for the moment, while Ghostbur thinks of someone to turn to. He needs comfort from someone who can actually speak to him.

Tommy comes to mind.

Part of Ghostbur wonders if he should even talk to Tommy, because he hadn’t seem Tommy since before his party. Would Tommy be angry with him for not showing up? Maybe it’s a risk worth taking, because it’s Tommy, and they love each other. A dim memory surfaces; he remembers Phil mentioning the other day that he’d been in contact with Tommy, and Tommy’s now safe from any sort of harm. Ghostbur wonders if that means Tommy’s at the cabin, so he heads in that direction.

It doesn’t take long for Ghostbur to reach the cabin. He hopes the others are already here and in one piece, but Ghostbur can’t get the image of the execution out of his head. If he had the ability to feel sick, he’d probably be vomiting in the snow.

Techno’s clearly home, because Ghostbur can see the trail of blood leading toward the cabin. Carl, his horse, is also just outside, unharmed.

Before Ghostbur can enter, he hears raised voices. He pauses at the door, leaning closer to hear more clearly, but nothing he’s hearing sounds great.

“Techno, hold still, you’re bleeding everywhere! You’ll also wake Tommy.”

“I’m sorry, I had to rip my arm out of an entire bar, right after being executed! I’m not exactly going to remember my manners for the stupid kid beneath us. He can always sleep later!”

“If you don’t shut up and hold still, I will splash you with a weakness pot and smack you over the head so I can heal you properly. Your bones need to set and you need stitches.”

Ghostbur’s heard enough. He barges in, trying to plaster a smile on his face, but it feels off when he sees the wound on Techno’s arm. It’s not just a deep gash, but a giant hole where muscle and skin should be. There are tears in the pig’s eyes, there’s an expression of anger in Phil’s eyes that render him almost inhuman. If Ghostbur were to actually let himself think about it, he’d admit he was terrified of them both right now.

“Ghostbur,” Phil says curtly. “Go downstairs and check on Tommy.”

“Your arm-”

“I’ll explain it to you later Ghostbur,” Techno grumbles. “Do what Phil says and don’t ask questions.”

“I was there! I saw what happened! Phil, I left Friend in your house.”

“Ghostbur, go downstairs and sit with Tommy. He needs someone more than Techno does.” Phil’s voice has an air of finality to it; Ghostbur doesn’t want to argue with him. Shoulders slumping in disappointment, he disappears down the ladder to check on Tommy.

 Come to think of it, he hadn’t seen the boy since before his beach party. Would Tommy be mad at him for not showing up? Why is Tommy even here, isn’t he supposed to be on holiday? Everything is far too confusing anymore, but even those thoughts are pushed out of his mind when he sees the teen sitting in a bed.

Tommy is far too thin and sickly looking. His skin is too pale, almost colorless, with dirty, greasy hair falling into sunken eyes. Each breath he takes is a painful wheeze, his fingers tremble too much to grip the bowl of food he’s trying to eat.

Tommy’s gaze flicks up briefly when he sees Ghostbur, glancing back down a second later. “Hello.” Even the boy’s voice is rough.

First he watches Techno die, now he has to see his brother sick and malnourished? What kind of holiday had he been on?

“Tommy?” He moves closer, just as afraid of the teen as he was of Techno. Ghostbur already wants to forget today’s events and go back to being ignorant. He’s happier when he doesn’t have to think about anything.

“Surprise, we’re all alive.” Tommy’s tone is unbelievably dark, as if he doesn’t believe it himself. “One minute I’m contemplating everything that went wrong, and the next, Philza’s carrying me here like I suddenly matter. I go to sleep, and wake up to Techno missing half an arm. Dunno what happened there, neither of them will tell me.”

“I watched Techno die,” Ghostbur blurts. He probably shouldn’t have phrased it like that, but the words are out. “He had a totem though, so he survived. It’s a good thing, I think.”

“Ah.” Tommy sets the bowl of food aside, lying back down. Rather than looking colorless now, he’s turning a shade of green. “That’s information I didn’t need while trying to eat.”

“I’m sorry Tommy.”

“Are you okay?” Tommy asks. “Forget about me, I��m in great shape. You, on the other hand, look pretty shaken up.”

“Ah, yeah.” Ghostbur looks away. “Tommy, I forget a lot and I’m not the best, but what happened to Techno isn’t fading. I’m not sure how to process it.”

“You need a hug or something?” Tommy stretches one arm out toward Ghostbur. “Because you look like you could use one.”

“Are you sure you’re not using that as an excuse to get a hug for yourself?” Ghostbur can’t resist the tease. Nor can he resist the offer, letting himself move closer until he’s in Tommy’s arms.

“Fuck you, I don’t need a hug from anyone.” Tommy’s voice is muffled. “I’m independent and can do anything I want to on my own.”

“You keep telling yourself that,” Phil’s voice interrupts. “Even on your deathbed, you’re going to give us all a headache.”

Ghostbur’s eyes nearly bug out. “Deathbed?” His gaze whips back toward Tommy to make sure Tommy isn’t actually dying. “Does he need a tot-”

“Ghostbur, relax. Tommy isn’t dying, and I assume you’re here to talk about Techno. He’s not dying either. Everyone here will be fine.” Phil rolls his eyes. “All three of you are the most dramatic shits I have the misfortune of knowing.”

“Fuck you Phil,” Tommy groans. “I can still fight you.”

“If you can get up without fainting, I’d love to take you on,” Phil laughs.

“Is... Techno’s really okay though, right?” Ghostbur asks. “Because-”

“Ghostbur.” Phil sombers up to give the ghost his full attention. “I’m sorry you had to see that earlier. I know it’s not easy, and judging by your reaction, your brain isn’t letting you forget it so easily. Techno’s strong, Tommy’s strong. We’re all going to make it out of this in one piece, alright?”

Ghostbur looks down. “Three of you will. I’m afraid it’s a little late for me, dad.”

No one has a come back to that. Whatever fragile bonds still connect this broken family are still fraying. Ghostbur may be there, they may be able to see and hear and touch him, laugh with him even. At the end of the day though, it’s a harsh reminder that he is not Wilbur, that the Wilbur they’d all loved is still dead, and not even his ghost can replace him.

“Hey Ghostbur?” Tommy tugs on his sleeve. “Will you stay with me for awhile?”

“Yeah.” Ghostbur lies back down, wrapping his arms around the teen. Everything about the boy is too bony, nothing about his appearance is okay. He wonders if Tommy actually is dying.

Nothing more needs to be said though. Broken family or no, at least all four of them are together.

[iron--spider]

I woke up at 3am yesterday to watch The Devil All the Time and I’ve been thinking about it since. I’m gonna put my thoughts and feelings and a review of sorts behind the cut, because I am gonna talk about it freely, so there will be spoilers! So don’t click if you don’t wanna see. I’ll also be discussing the content of the film and I know that might bother people, so that stuff is in here, too! And it’ll be really long because you know I can’t shut up.

So, I loved it. I loved it loved it loved it. I read the book a long time ago when I first found out Tom was gonna be in it, and the only problem I had with the book was that the POVs would change in the middle of a paragraph lmao, but other than that I thought it was pretty perfect. I knew the movie was gonna be pretty brutal, because the book is brutal, so I was prepared.

-BUT I think the critics HIGHLY HIGHLY exaggerated how bad the content was. Like, seriously, they acted as if this was gonna be a Saw movie. I was preparing for blatant, horrific gore, but it didn’t live up to their dramatics at all. There’s blood and nasty situations, but every single episode of Game of Thrones is worse than this movie, as are most episodes of any crime drama on a paid network. I actually thought they were super, super tactful of all their horrific shit. The dog death was off screen and the shot of the body (described by the critics as literally traumatic) was so quick (enough to shut your eyes) and in the dark. I also argue that particular moment is extremely important for Arvin’s journey, because it’s the moment he truly turns on his father and turns on religion entirely, and he carries it with him his whole life (it’s what he flashes back to when he says “I know what my daddy did” because it’s the marker of all Willard’s mistakes) and it winds up being one of the last things he does before he leaves everything behind. Burying Jack’s bones. So, like, I despise dog death or any animal death in my entertainment, but it’s important here and handled well. And all the worst death scenes are either extremely fast (Helen’s and Gary Matthew’s) or shown in negative (all the photos). I think Bodecker’s headshot with Bobo is probably the worst and is also pretty quick. I don’t know if this means I’m a jaded bitch, but God the way they were all whining and crying, I thought it’d be a million times worse. It could have been, with the book’s descriptions, so it was actually pretty tame. Lenora’s death affected me the most and they cut away from that, too. I guess it’ll still bother some people, but there are many, many mainstream things that are far more violent and gory than this was.

-I thought it was a beautiful movie. I never mind films that are slightly slower but I love ones that use their time to lay things out and really show us what’s going on, build the ambiance and the relationships. I loved the narration (which I was worried about), and it really made me feel like we were visiting a moment in time that was important. Like something that was written and should be learned about. Rumors in a town you’re passing through. The ghosts of past trauma and transgressions looming over everyone that’s left.

-I liked the changes they made with Roy and Theodore because I thought that storyline kinda meandered in the book and I’m glad that Roy was actually gone the whole time and not just neglecting to come back to Lenora.

-The only real complaints I can make, I’ll get out of the way here: I wanted a little bit more time with Carl and Sandy. Carl was really creepy, but he could have been much creepier. In the book he was the one looking at the pictures constantly, Not Sandy, and that really showed that he was the one with the sickness, the one pushing them forward and orchestrating it all. I thought they did well with showing how Sandy deteriorated in her efforts with him through the years, but I would have liked to see a bit more of their personal lives together and her fear of him and her genuine feelings about what they’re doing, because the book goes into that a lot more. I also wasn’t a fan of Lee finding the picture early and knowing some about what they were doing, because I liked how it was a surprise to him in the book and yet he still did all he could to cover it up. And lastly, in the book there’s a scene with Arvin after he kills Sandy and Carl where he’s in a motel and he takes like 18 showers because he can’t get the grime of what he’s done off of him, and he looks at the picture and has a nightmare about killing Sandy, and I really would have loved if they’d kept it in. It would have been another ‘acting’ moment for Tom, and it would have been nice for us to see his direct trauma and reaction to everything that’s piling on top of him.

-BUT that’s it. I loved pretty much every single other thing and decision that they made. The cinematography was TOP NOTCH. You could tell they filmed on 35mm film, you could see the grain, and it really, really added to it. Antonio Campos is a very skilled director and I trusted him at the helm of this story. Everything looked so authentic, all the sets and the costumes. The soundtrack and score were AMAZING and enhanced the film. Technically it was just perfect in every regard to me.

-Acting! Acting! God this was like...a massive testament to the casting department and the talent of these people. Everyone was on their A game. Bill Skarsgård has been on my radar since Castle Rock (which I recommend to everybody, both seasons) and he was so natural and great in this role. Haley Bennet was absolutely adorable as Charlotte, I loved her cute face and her sweet relationship with little Arvin. Riley Keough was so great as Sandy with the limited amount of time she had, and Jason Clarke is one of my favorites but he was unrecognizable in this as creepy ass Carl. Harry Melling was a far cry from Dudley Dursley and he did a great job with his screen time, too. Same with Mia Wasikowska, who didn’t have much to do (same as poor Helen in the book) but she was able to garner our sympathy anyway. Seb Stan was slimy and gross but he pulled it off so well. Eliza Scanlen has been one of my favorites since Sharp Objects (another one that’s brutal as hell but I recommend it, she’s so scary) and she was so, so great here. Robert Pattinson was ALRIGHT, everybody talks him up over this but he felt a little hammy to me and a little too over the top, but there’s no denying his talent.

-Now, the reason we’re all here. Tom. My God. As soon as it was over I just didn’t know what the hell to do, I didn’t even know how to....go on, lmfao. We all know he’s talented, that’s why we’re here, that’s why we love him, but his performance in this is just BEYOND all that. Beyond comprehension. The man is only 24 years old and he’s out here outacting people who have been in the industry for longer than he’s been alive. He is SHOCKINGLY good. I knew he’d be perfect for Arvin as soon as I read the book, but he just completely embodied this role in a way that I couldn’t have imagined. He doesn’t show up in the movie until about 45 minutes in (which doesn’t hurt it because of the strength of the leadup, Bill’s performance and the performance of little Arvin’s actor) but God, as soon as he’s there the whole thing comes to life in a way that it hadn’t before. Tom is literally just a shining light, and he draws your eye in every single scene he’s in, and when he’s not there you’re wondering when he’s gonna come back. Arvin, to me, is a very complex character—he has been inherently changed by how his father twisted religion in his childhood, how deeply he betrayed him by his behavior, but he still has a kind heart and a protective streak and the need to be strong despite the pain nearly breaking him apart from moment to moment. Tom is just outrageously good at portraying all Arvin’s little nuances, how he clenches his jaw, how his voice breaks when he’s afraid or trying to convince someone of something or get his point across, how his hands tremble after he’s done something he wishes he didn’t have to do, how his whole body wilts when he realizes he’s emulating his father. And his eyes. Tom can do so, so much with his eyes that it’s unbelievable. He tells you so much with just a simple look, a glance, a wince, a long blink. I’m not exaggerating when I say he’s just an absolute revelation in this, he cements his place in Hollywood with a firm hand and a tender look, and I will not be forgetting what he did here anytime soon. There’s a reason that everyone called him out for being so stunning in this. He is magnificent. He has a gift.

-I wanna say, in particular, how much I love Arvin’s relationship with Lenora. Their lives were both marked by such tragedy and pain and Arvin just took up the torch of protecting her from the moment he said hello as a child. He wants so badly to be tough, and he IS, but there’s just miles and miles of love in this boy’s heart, and it manifests itself for his family—for his uncle, for his grandma, but for Lenora in particular. I loved how he just showed up when she was being harassed and just ran in there without thinking, and it’s purely devastating that he was out taking care of her bullies while a worse predator was cornering her. The scene where she was sick wasn’t in the book but it was a beautiful addition. Tom sometimes wears this very open, unguarded, honest expression, and this is the only scene in which he shows it, and it really expresses the love between them and how much she means to him. Arvin didn’t find Lenora’s body in the book, but it was the right change for them to make. Tom was devastating here, and that pain and that moment truly fuel every second of his journey through the rest of the film. “My Lenora”. The saddest siblings. Both Eliza and Tom did so beautifully with this relationship and I hope they work together again.

-Favorite acting moments for Tom: when he’s in the car in the rain after beating up the bullies, when he’s in the church crowd and realizes Preston is insulting his Grandma (the way his face changes oh my GOD), when he finds Lenora, when the cop comes to tell him Lenora was pregnant (this is just....so damn good), when he was telling his uncle to look after his Grandma, THE ENTIRE CHURCH CONFRONTATION (the way he trembles when he’s trying to get his attention, how he speaks the whole time, how he slowly gathers his strength), when he thinks Sandy has shot him, the moment where he’s over Lee’s body and just....pleading with his eyes for him to listen and realize what he’s done. And the last scene, in the car, all the emphasis on his face....once again, he can do so, so much with a look, with his eyes. Someone called out the beautiful last shot in the film, and of course, it’s Arvin’s sleeping face. And it was so beautiful (and devastating, to think of him enlisting. Tom draws so much sympathy that you just want Arvin to have a normal life so badly. He deserves it, he does, but will he get it?)

-Last thing I’ll say, I really loved how, despite turning his back on religion, that God seems to be protecting Arvin the whole time. He’s terribly afraid confronting the preacher and that could have easily gone badly, especially when he tosses the book, but Arvin was somehow able to get a shot off and get the upper hand. And with Carl and Sandy, he senses something is off immediately once they pull off the road, and he would have absolutely been killed had Carl not switched out Sandy’s bullets for blanks. And in the confrontation with Lee, he once again shoots at the same time as him, shoots without looking, and manages to come out unscathed and on top. A few spoiler reviews pointed out that the last person that picks Arvin up is supposed to be a Jesus-like figure, almost like he’s finally been saved. It hurts that everyone around him that he loved is almost forsaken by God, but he himself is protected. It’s such a complicated commentary on religion throughout the entire piece, but it’s so interesting and engrossing.

So I’d recommend this movie to anyone that loves movies, loves Tom, can deal with a gritty story that takes its time laying out all the chess pieces. It is definitely heavy subject matter but it doesn’t go overboard with the horror as it easily could have. Yes, there are triggers to look for, but the critics hugely over exaggerated how awful it was. I can probably go get time stamps for certain things if people wanna ask me after reading this, but if you can get through a Tarantino film or any HBO drama, you can do this. And Tom’s performance is one for the ages and not one that deserves to be passed over or downplayed. It is beautiful and heart-wrenching—a magnificent turn that displays his monumental ability to reach out and guide you into any world he decides to make his own.

I loved The Devil All the Time.

[viseralantlers]

old friend (c!karl jacobs x reader)

takes place in episode 5 of tales ! The wild west one !

warnings: Injury, swearing, character death

Request: nope!

note: using Kit as the alternate name to avoid confusion and follow how the time travel thing works kinda !!!! If you don’t like it feel free to pick another one and fill it in ! I was mostly trying to keep it gender-neutral !! Sorry if it makes it difficult to understand : (

John led Karl around the small town to pick up people to help stop the hostile bandits he had the pleasure to meet when he first entered the saloon just a few hours ago. Now an eccentric band of characters were leaving William’s shop to head to their last stop, the bakery. 

“Alright, so this is Kit!” John spoke with a slight drawl as Karl watched hesitantly as a head peaked up from behind the counter that had been covered in fresh loaves of bread. Karl paused at the sight, it was y/n. It couldn’t be, they had died on doomsday. He felt frozen to his spot as he studied their every move. Karl knew deep down that this wasn’t y/n. He’d seen these past versions, relatives of sorts. of his friends, but he’d never seen anyone that had looked like y/n. It had always been sapnap or technoblade, it was as if y/n died not only in the present but in every past he traveled to.

“Huh” they said as they wiped the flour from their hands on a black apron that had been tied around their neck and torso, stepping around to the group. 

“Hey, Kit!” John was cut off as y/n jumped into a question.

“John, I thought you already picked up your stock for this week?”  John scratched the back of his neck feeling Percy’s stare digging into the back of his head due to his newly revealed spending habits. Y/n, now Kit, continued talking before abruptly pausing when they finally noticed the crowd that had accumulated in their small bakery. “What’s all this about?” They said with a hint of anxiety slipping into their voice.

“Nothing to be worried about!” Karl jumped into action at the sign of y/n’s trepidation “We just wanted to ask if you wanted to help us take down those old democrat haters.” Karl nervously laughed.

“Oh! Yea, for sure bucko, I hate those guys as much as the next one of y’all.” They smile, a steady joyful expression breaking their former nervous demeanor. Karl felt strangely sick at the sight, at how much it reminded him of his old friend, or more so crush, before their passing. Though he also noted the change in your speech as a strong southern accent slipped in every once in a while, even using the word y’all.

“Good to hear, Kit!” John said happily as y/n and William shared a small conversation talking about stock and sales in the recent weeks. Karl trailed behind the group as he watched y/n converse with the crowd, their face filled with a wide smile, even daring to talk with Crops as if he wasn’t a convicted cannibal. They seemed as kind as ever, as an addicting presence as they used to be when the two lived together in L’manberg.

“Hey Karl!” y/n practically beamed at him as he passed them on the wooden prime path as tommy affectionately called it. “Niki and I made this new bakery together wanna come check it out!” They singsonged already reaching to grab at Karl’s sleeve. They smelled like freshly baked bread, their face dusted with a soft blush from the exertion of baking.

“Yea, sure!” Karl granted them his hand letting y/n pull him in to waste an entire day tasting pastries and sweets. He went home that night with flour handprints on his back and a warm feeling in his chest. 

“Great shot!” Karl was pulled out of his trance as he watched Michael whiff the target by a few feet. Shaking his head he studied each member shoot with varying success. Though what really caught his eye was an aim that only rivaled y/n’s own coming from who John had called Kit, the baker that smiled exactly as y/n had every time he whispered a bordering on senseless joke into their ear on party island. He struggled to solidify the name Kit in his head as he watched Kit stick out their tongue as they focused their aim and hit a perfect bullseye. Kit smiled to themselves before they followed the party to the tents surrounding a warm crackling fire.

“Hey, Kit, right? Sorry I’m just never very good with names.” Karl said as he settled down beside the sweet-smelling baker. 

“Yep!” They chirped with a relaxed face as they studied the flicking fire as it reached up towards the open sky.  “Need something?” They asked turning to Karl. Karl blushed at the eye contact not knowing why he started the conversation in the first place.

“No, no, no,,, uh nothing, I just wanted to say good shooting back there I guess.” He laughed to himself playing with the ends of his sleeves.

“Thank you very much, kind stranger! Just a little hobby I picked up after they built that old shooting range. You know, I don’t think I ever caught your name back in my store?”

“It’s Karl.”

“Karrlllllllll” Kit drew out with a goofy face focusing on the l “Pretty name!” Karl felt stuck in time as the interaction mirrored one he had had with y/n.

“Kaaarrrrrrllllllll! Did I ever tell you your name is pretty?” Karl looked at y/n confused.

“No, but ,,,, I wouldn't quite call it that.” He blushed looking down at his feet. 

“I would.” y/n nodded affirmatively “cause it’s Karl, not Carl, it’s pretty,,,,,, your pretty,, really.” y/n laughed at they looked up at the lazily passing clouds with a gentle smile plastered on their relaxed face. 

Karl laughed away the small compliment after he looked back up into Kit’s e/c eyes as the group broke into talking about the coming showdown between the two sides.

“Kit, I think you should fight, Mason. You have the best shot out of us aside from me, of course.” Sherif Thompson spoke. 

“That’s okay with me! Anything to stop those guys from ruining my pastries really.” Kit said as their interest was engulfed by the warmth from the fire once again. Karl felt fear dig its way into his chest as he looked at Kit’s side profile remembering the last time he had seen them like this. 

“Karl go to your library, please. The grid can’t reach it” y/n called to Karl over the never-ending sounds of explosions and falling rubble. “I’ll be okay, I got my bow and my charisma.” y/n chuckled sadly.

“Come down with me! We can be safe together. This isn’t worth it, y/n!” Karl begged as he yelled over to their figure standing tall knowing they were on their last life, knowing that they were not going to go with Karl, knowing this could end in tragedy. Y/n turned  with fresh tears trailing down their cheeks. 

“This is my home, Karl.”

“I know.” Karl resigned to the fact that you weren’t gonna come with him. Weren’t gonna cower as L’manburg breathed its final breath full of smoke. “I love you.” He yelled as they gave a brave smile jumping down to join the fray. He had imprinted the side profile of their face as they stood solemn, lit by the cloudy sky and the flashes of explosions.

Suddenly it was high noon. Tension building in Karl’s chest as he called out the paces studying Kit walk away from Mason. The track record had been 2-0 he could only hope it would remain so positive.

1

Y/n had died from an arrow.

2

An arrow through the chest.

3

It had been thought to have been shot from Dream’s grid.

4

No one knew who did it. There was no way to know.

5

They bled out at the bottom of the crater,

6

alone,

7

As Karl huddled in the library,

8

Eyes shut tight.

9

Karl knew that in some twisted way, he might as well of fired that arrow himself. 

10

FIRE!

They both fell to the ground, Mason dying upon impact due to the arrow directly piercing his heart. Kit wasn’t as lucky, the arrow had hit it’s target, but not quite a bullseye, the tip was lodged into their upper thigh. 

“y/n!” Karl called out in a panic, the strange name not lost to the group around him. He rushed to Kit’s side as tears freely flowed down his face. “Does anyone have a potion?” Kit stared at him in confusion.

“Hey, I’ll be fine, not an artery or anything, just hurts.” they gave Karl a soft smile trying to reassure him of the small injury not being lethal.

“Yea, yea, sorry, I just.”

“y/n’s dead, Karl.” Quackity said as he walked into the secret room of the library that was hidden behind the bookshelf full of y/n’s favorite classics. Karl was frozen in fear as he studied Quackity’s face for any sign of this being some sick sadistic joke. He only found sorrow and loss.

“No, no, y/n, will be here any second! The fight is over, and they are okay, right? Right?” Karl begged Quackity as he felt his hands begin to shake, his breaths becoming ragged. Quackity sat down beside him letting Karl curl into his side. Karl hand’s gripped to his shirt as he sobbed. Quackity knew he couldn’t stop Karl’s pain, but he could comfort him through it.

“I guess, you just reminded me of an old friend.”

[argumentl]

The Freedom of Expression Episode 29 - The fashion brand that doesn't sell a single item of clothing.

K: Hi, this is Dir en grey's Kaoru starting this week's episode of The Freedom of Expression. Joe san, Tasai san, welcome again...Well well well...

J: Hanshin?

K: You know it aready! haha

J: I knew the moment you said 'Well well well'

T: You took a really deep breath.

K: Haha

J: Whenever you lament in that way, its probably Hanshin. Whats going on with them?

K: Well, its kinda like 'Hmm'

J: Haha

K: They are winning some and losing some.

T: Yeah.

K: I talked about this before, but after they got 20 points...

T: Ah! Yes

K: They started getting worse.

T: Yeh, yeh, its true.

J: Did they use everything they had all at once?

K: Well, I mean..But! They just can't win against the Giants.

T: Yeah.

J: Why is that?

T: They can win against other teams.

K: Yeh, its only the Giants. They get destroyed by them.

J: Haha

K: I can't say anything else.

J: Weren't they beaten three times in a row recently or something?

T: Yeah, moreover they didn't get a single point.

K: They were totally crushed three times in a row.

J: Ehh?

T: Its incredible.

J: There's nothing good to come out of this? Why did it happen?

K: They're trying too hard..whatever they do, they try too hard. They never get it right.

J: Oh, really?..Dare I ask you? Honestly? Is there any posibility for Hanshin to win again?

K: There is!

J: There is? Oh good!

K: Yeah, there is....but the Giants are pretty strong.

J: Kami, can't you do something for Hanshin?

Kami: That would be quite difficult. Three losses in a row is quite bad isn't it?

T: Yeah.

J: Its impossible for you to help? Can't you use some of your power?

Kami:......... No, I don't have any power.

J: Haha

Kami: The higher up gods do, but not the lower ones.

J: Can't you ask one of the higher up gods? You could be their mouthpiece.

Kami:.........No, the conditions are strict.

K: Ok, Joe, today's topic please.

J: Yep...Its the news about the mystery of the northern European fashion brand that doesn't sell a single item of clothing. The website 'Carlings' catering to mainly northern Europe, has launched the fashion brand 'Neo-ex'. But it seems as if you can't actually buy clothes on the site. As for how it works, users can choose fashion they like from the 'Neo-Ex' collection, then they upload a photo of themselves. After that a team of exclusive 3D designers will created realistic images of you wearing the clothes. Then the user can buy the images. For example, they could use 'Neo-Ex' in order to look cool on social media. As for the price, you don't buy the clothes, only the image, but it costs between ¥1,300 and ¥3,900. It may appear as profiteering to some, but their aim is to cast the first stone in reducing the huge amount of waste that the fashion industry produces. What do you think about this Kaoru?

K: I mean...I don't really know.

J: You don't know? haha

K: I don't know, but at the same time Im kinda like, 'Ah, I see'.

T: Well, this method was first created at the beginning of 2019. Its still a bit strange, even now, but for sure, I think its good to use with social media.

J: Mmm, I see. Isetan did something similar to this after corona started. When it got really bad with corona, no-one could go to department stores, no one went to shops, so Isetan made avatars, like in a video, and in that the avatars could go shopping, and try on clothes. They charged a fee for it. I read an interview about it,  and what I found interesting was that rather than aiming this at stressed out people who love clothes, but can't go shopping, by letting people make avatars, they were trying to open up an entirely different market. Well, thats what people are saying. This project might be a bit different from that though...Well, its not about buying clothes in reality...well, their aim may be to bring attention to the waste the fashion industry produces, but it also kinda changes the way we see fashion. It doesn't matter how much you pick with this, right? You don't buy them.

T: Yeah.

K: Well, yeh.

T: If you never leave your house, and start living though an avatar, its like your life is over. I have a feeling we'll start hearing stories like that.

K: But there are loads of peope on social media who model clothes that they've bought, aren't there?

J: Yeah..So as for who this fits, its one way to express yourself on social media, right?

K: In that sense, its ok isn't it? And its cheaper than buying the actual clothes. Ah, but does the design team choose for you? Ah, you choose yourself?

J: Yeah, then they create an image of you wearing the clothes. You don't actually buy the clothes, so there is no kind of waste produced, but if you want to just show everyone how the clothes look, you can pay from ¥1,300  to about ¥4000.

T: Its expensive!

K: This would be interesting if various brands were included.

T: Well, yeh.

J: Yeh.

K: And people like us (Dir en grey) could join it, and people could wear our clothes. It might be interesting.

J: Like not actually wearing, but just creating an image?

T: Fans could try on the same outfit as Kaoru and stuff..

K: Yeah. Or you could dress up as historical figures, do cosplay. Or you could choose stuff that you've seen models or tv stars wearing. I think this is a brand at the moment, but if they made that kind of website..

J:Ah, it could be interesting, right?

K: Yeh.

J: I mean, its also good that it doesn't create any waste products.

K: There's a lot isn't there?

J: Well, yeh, if clothes don't sell...in the end, if they are part of a collection, they don't sell them off cheaply, they just cut them up and throw them away.

T: Ah, really?

J: Yeh, and there is a lot of stuff made out of cotton, so thats kinda also related to environmental damage. The economy only works if you keep making stuff and selling stuff, but if you don't sell, it becomes waste, and the earth's environment has to take on that burden. But with this website, its purely the design aspect, so there is no burden on the earth.

K: I wonder if they can do this on any type of photo..

J: What do you mean?

K: Like do you have to be standing straight, facing the camera like this, or could you be sitting down, or..?

J: Ah, your pose?

K: Yeh yeh. Its not that cool to post a photo of yourself just standing up straight. This might actually be quite difficult.

J: Yeah.

K: Was Kami going to say something just then?

Kami: Um, I can't choose clothes at all.

K: You just wear half dried out Tshirts? haha.

J: Haha, yeah. There were quite a lot of people who wanted those.

K: Really? Hahaha

J: It's weird! People saying, 'I want one of Kami's half dried out t-shirts'.

Kami: I only buy cheap clothes. Cheap clothes which won't show the dirt. But even so, my shoes are expensive. 

J: Ah, shoes, yeah.

T: What type of shoes do you buy, Kami?

Kami: I buy quite nice shoes. Yes, I do. I mean, I don't really know, though, something around ¥6000.

J: Im not sure if thats cheap or expensive, haha.

K: Yeh, its kinda hard to tell.

J: Yeh, its that ambiguous zone. If it was ¥500 you could say, 'wow, thats cheap!'. But ¥6000 is like, well...'oh, ok..', kinda.

Kami: I pay ¥500 for tshirts.

T: Thats cheap.

J: Kami, do you wanna try this? Making a fashion image like this?

Kami: No way.

J: So icy...haha.

K: Don't you post photos on socia media, Kami?

T: Oh right, yeh.

Kami: Not at all. But I think doing this type of thing is a really good thing. It's like casting the first stone, it said. I like stuff like that.

J: Ahh.

Kami: I think its a good thing, but I wouldn't do it myself.

J: I kinda wanna try checking out this website. To see what its actually like.

K: Yeah, if it looks interesting...

J: Kaoru, you should try it!

K: Me?

J: Yeh.

K: This? Should I do it?

Kami: Ah, thats a good idea.

K: I could try it, and then we could talk about it on here.

J: Yeh, yeh. And I want you to post your images on Instagram to show what its like.

K: Ahh, ok, ok.

Kami: Let me pick something!

K: Eh?

T: Let Kami select the clothes.

K: Kami? Kami selecting? Im scared, haha.

J: I wonder what a guy who only wears smelly tshirts will choose?...Ok, so would it be styling by Kami?

K: Yeh, yeh, yeh.

J: I do want to see that too.

K: Well, it would be interesting.

J: So, you could wear stuff that us three choose for you.

T: It would show our personalities.

J: Let's try it. We could see which one everyone likes best, get peope to like them on Instagram. An Instagram plan.

T: Thats a good idea. But its also scary. What if they press thumbs down a lot.

J: Like, Booo?

T: Yeh.

K: Well, it doesn't matter which, we could aim for booing.

J: Well, yeh. We could even aim for that.

K: Kami will probably be aiming for that.

J: I thinks so, yeh.

Kami: I'll just follow the crowd.

J: Well, we could try it once, and show the results on here.

K: Yep. Well, lets end here for this week. Please subscribe. Thank you very much.

[rrickgrrimes8]

Normality is Death

Chapter Eleven ~ Haunting of a Broken Mind

masterlist

Jacey still found herself in the shower despite the passing hours. She would stand there, holding onto the wall, naked and sobbing. The girl tried to suppress the feeling by pushing with all her might against her aching heart, but it was no use, the hole Addie left there remained burning her out from the inside. Her father had subsequently left sometime during the first hour, assuring he'd return soon, but that was yet to happen, and she wasn't waiting either.

Despite the present twinge in her heart and the throbbing pain of her injury, she was still appreciative of the shower. Prior to their arrival at the C.D.C., she missed the feeling of the water on her skin, the sensation of finally being clean, and now that time has finally come. She let her body cower against the heat, allowing it to consume her. The water comforted her as it washed away the blood from her parts. As if it were cleansing her of the act altogether.

Jacey never thought she'd have a place like this ever again and even if she'd let herself dream of a place like this one she'd always imagine the presence of Addie. In fact, days earlier she couldn't imagine having to live without her, but now she'd have to live that reality.

Mindlessly, Jacey turned off the switch, discontinuing the stream of warmth and stepped out of the stall, a towel covering her. No one else seemed to be operating the facilities assuming they'd all gone away to rest as she remained awake. As Jacey approached the steamed up mirror, she frowned, seeing the movement of a blurred figure being reflected. The figure moved quickly, not making the slightest of sounds, which unnerved the indecent girl. "Hello? Is someone there?" She called out, receiving no reply. Jacey waited awhile before assuming she just imagined whatever it was.

"Jacey?" It didn't take long before Jacey recognised the voice, the one she was sure would haunt her, and now she guessed was right. She pushed her head up, meeting the bloodied reflection in the mirror, "M-Mitchy." Jacey could see the outline of a smile display in the mirror.   "You're okay. I was worried," Jacey heard the ghost of Mitchell's voice say to her. The man remained silent for a while as if waiting for her response before continuing, "Stop crying Jace, it's okay." Once more, she stayed silent, "I'm okay. I'm fine."

"Stop," she ordered, finally understanding. "That's the point, Jacey," using the same tranquil tone as earlier. "Shut up. Please shut up," her eyes didn't leave the mirror once, fearing to look at his face once more.

"It's okay, Jace." This time all she did was sob. "I was never going to survive this world, none of us were," Jacey felt Mitch move closer looking at his reflection his hand moved up, caressing the air, just as he did to her cheek before. "We're all going to die eventually, even you, Jace even if you're unkillable as you say," he paused longer this time, "On the contrary, all time is a good time to joke for someone, especially a dying man."

Jacey forced her eyes shut, hoping for this hallucination to disappear. "That herd was a little closer than we thou-" "Shut up!" she screamed, throwing herself around to face him, but him disappearing as she did, "Mitch?" She looked around frantically for the man but continued to be met with the emptiness of the room. "Shit," Jacey cried, still looking around the room, "I'm losing my mind." Jacey looked back to the mirror again running the faucet and applying the water to her face.

"He said, 'Normality is death'," He reminded her. "I'm so sorry, Mitchy," She wept. "You'll see, kid. This world is going to be cruel to you. It will take people, friends, family away and you won't be able to stop it-" She turned around once more, slowly this time assuring he'd actually disappear. Before turning back around, she waited a moment breathing in leisurely trying to calm herself. Mitch reappeared in the mirror once again, "I love you, Jace. Don't ever forget that. You're like my little sister, my family." "I love you too, Mitchy. I love you so fucking much. I miss you so much," She smiled at him softly, turning around again.

This time, however, he remained, his final moments continuing in front of her. She grimaced at the look of him, all beaten down, pale and lifeless. "I'm so proud of you," he cried out as his soul began to drain from his eyes. Mitch moved from his spot, walking over to the shaking child. Much like before, his arm moved over to her face cupping her cheeks. Jacey felt it this time, the coldness pained her skin as did the broken look in his eyes. He moved his head next tilting it against her own, "Addies looking for you, Jace. You've got to go find her. Go, protect her."

"I will, Mitchy. I'll save her," Jacey resisted against his icy touch unconsenting to hear his utterances as it grieved her too deeply, "M'sorry I couldn't save you. B-but you can rest now." "What did I tell you about crying, babydoll?" he muttered before collapsing into the girl. She expected to feel the pressure on top of her but was surprised to see nothing. The ghost of Mitchell had disappeared along with his last words, and she couldn't tell if that made her happy or not.

"You okay, sweetheart?" the kind voice of the woman who had already asked her that today said. "Um... f-fine I think. Thank you, Jacqui." "Are you sure? You're looking a little pale," the older woman proceeded closer, looking over her small figure. Jacey thought for a second, looking directly into her brown eyes, ones that reminded her so much of Addie's, "N-no." "No?" "No, I'm not okay. Please help me," Jacqui looked at the girl sympathetically, grabbing ahold of her petite hand.

"It's okay, sweetheart. I'm here," The woman gently brought Jacey into her arms, "It's all going to be alright, I promise." "H-how do you know?" "I know because you're so strong, stronger then I'll ever be. And if I'm doing alright, you will too. You're a survivor. Jim knew that as well, before he died," Jacey looked confused, having never really had any interaction with the man before his passing, "He told me before we uh... on the RV, he told me that he could see how strong you were. That you'd survive just like your daddy will and Carl because you're all so much alike. You're all so strong." Jacqui paused once more, "He said you were the only one to look in his eyes when we found the bite. He told me how, although he scared you, you kept on looking. And that's what strength is, true strength." "Thank you, Jacqui," Jacey smiled finding vast solace in her words, "You're strong too."

The woman laughed, "That I am not, sweetheart, but it's okay. Now, you go off to bed, your mom's probably worried." Although Jacey could dispute that, she nodded politely, collecting her things, "Thank you, Jacqui. You really helped me." Jacqui smiled honestly before entering one of the bathroom stalls.

After changing into the clothes Lori must've laid out for her, Jacey followed the pathway she'd come from and entered back into her families room. The lights had been turned off, telling her no one was still awake. She passed her brother's bed seeing him fast asleep, causing her mouth to curl into a grin. She lowered herself, kissing his forehead softly thankful she still had him, "I love you." Next, she went to the left side of her parents' bed, her smile growing at her drooling father. She kissed him just like she did with Carl before whispering, "I love you." He moved slightly at the action but remained asleep.

As Jacey inched closer to her mother, she started to realise that she was still awake. "You've been gone for a long time, where've you been?" Lori sniffled. "Showering, mostly," Jacey whispered sheepishly hoping she wasn't in trouble. Lori chuckled softly, Jacey's worries melting away, "Back into old habits, huh? I remember when you used to take hour-long showers and then when anyone tried to interrupt, you would assure them you've only been in for 10 minutes." Jacey laughed as well smiling fondly at the good times, before this inferno.

"I love you so much, Jace," Her mother told her patting the side of her bed. Jacey happily moved closer. "I don't think I've ever told you that, have I?" Lori more stated than asked, to which Jacey shugged remembering the lack of relationship they have, "I should've told you because I do, I love you more than I could ever express in words. I know I haven't been the best mom to you, but I want to change, I want to try." "I thought you hated me, mom." Lori felt her heartbreak further that night as her daughter looked at her words with such uncertainty, "I'm sorry I made you think that. I have never and will never hate you, okay? You're my only daughter, and I love you so much." "I love you too momma," Lori moved further onto the bed, closer to her husband, before asking Jacey to join her. Jacey did so nestling close to her mother.

"Why were you crying before, mom?" she asked, breaking the comfortable silence that had formed. "No reason, my sweet. Jus' adult stuff," Lori didn't elaborate, making Jacey more curious. "What kind of adult stuff?" "Jus' things with your uncle Shane," she informed earning a concerned look, "He upset me a little that's all." "Are you sure, momma?" Jacey asked innocently, which just made Lori cry more. "I'm sure, Jacey. Now go to sleep. You haven't slept in God knows how long." Jacey smiled to her mom again, glad she had her, "Goodnight. I love you." "Goodnight, my sweet angel."

[madbucker]

Silhouettes | Daryl Dixon.

Eventual Daryl Dixon x female reader.

IV.

Season 1.

MASTERLIST.

Loosely based on the song We Will Become Silhouettes by The Postal Service.

Summary: Y/N follows Rick to Atlanta. They find a group willing to help them.

Warnings: language, gore stuff (twd style), mentions of death, mentions of domestic abuse. Will add more warnings depending on the chapter’s content. Let me know if you think it needs some other warning!

Word count: 3.6k.

Author’s note: First things first, I’m not a native English speaker, so bear with me! You can send me a message or an ask pointing out some mistakes so I can edit the post. Also, it will help me learn the language, so don’t hesitate! Had this in my drafts for a few days. I hope you like it! ♥

Gif’s not mine.

“Morgan…” You couldn’t find the right words to express how grateful you were. You looked at Morgan and Duane with conflict showing in your eyes: you were happy and hopeful that you were going to find your sister in Atlanta, but you couldn’t ignore the anguish, the heartbreak of leaving them. Every second counted, and waiting a few more days could lower your chances of finding her alive, but those two had saved your life. What if leaving them lowered their chances of making it to safety? Even if you weren’t suited for survival, having someone else around could make a difference.

“Go, this is your chance. We’ll meet again, soon.” Morgan took over as if he knew how much you were feeling at the moment, embracing you not only with his arms but with his words.

Yeah, we’ll meet again, you thought. Your mind softened for a couple of seconds when you felt another set of arms hugging you tight from your side. You had only known them for a couple of weeks, but that was a lot when the world was the way it was. Weeks felt like a lifetime for you, and so it did for the men that had taken you in.

Men, because Duane was far from being a boy. It was sad, he deserved to live the rest of his childhood like you did, or like his father did. He had to, forcefully, become brave, strong, and even cold sometimes.

“We’ll meet again in Atlanta, or somewhere else, I don’t know, but we will.” You said as they let go of you. All you could do after that was forcing yourself to smile reassuringly.

“Now go and help Rick find his family too.”

“You can't leave me here... Not like this. You can't, man. It's not human. Come on, don't do this!”

Merle’s voice was faint as you ran down the stairs with everyone else. Their names were blurry in your head, the adrenaline making you forget about everything but the fact that your life was hanging by a thread.

But Merle, oh, you would never forget his name.

He was the type of person you were afraid to run into, back when you were alone. You were glad Rick was there to put him in his place, even though that hadn’t shut him up. 

Finding other survivors had its downside, you guessed, but not all of it was bad.

They told you that they had a camp, that they had people. The blonde woman’s younger sister was one of them, and they said they had children, too. Maybe it was too good to be true, but since Atlanta was overrun by walkers, then that was the best you had.

Walkers, that’s what they’d named them: because that’s all they did, they were the empty carcasses of what used to be a beautifully complex human being. They just walked, and bit, and killed.

You feared your sister was one of those, roaming around the city. That thought hadn’t left your mind since you first realized how bad things had gotten there. What if she had gone to Atlanta, seeking shelter, but found her death instead? You knew you had to get out of the situation you were in before you made any decisions. The camp didn’t seem like a bad idea, you could stay there temporarily and visit the city a few more times until you found her. Maybe even bring back supplies to thank everyone for letting you stay. That was if you made it, survival was still something new, something you had to train for.

Safety in numbers felt like your best shot. 

You didn’t pay much attention to your surroundings until you got inside the loading dock, your eyes were fixed in what was in front of you. A walker could’ve gotten you from your sides and you wouldn’t have noticed until it was too late. You were lucky enough to get to safety.

So was T-Dog, who at last second caught up with you, right before you heard Rick banging on the door.

You sat next to the two women, hugging yourself with your trembling arms. You were agitated and couldn’t catch enough air to say what you knew everyone else wanted to say.

“Hey, T-Dog,” you moaned once you could stabilize your breath, “where’s Merle?” you almost barked the asshole’s name. He looked down to his knees.

“I dropped the damn key,” he growled, angry and ashamed.

“Well, shit.” You whispered, making sure nobody heard. Merle had it coming, that was clear, but T-Dog didn’t have to carry with the guilt of leaving a man to die just because he happened to be… the way he was.

“Best not to dwell on it. Merle got left behind. Nobody's gonna be sad he didn't come back... except, maybe, Daryl.” One of the men commented. You lifted your head and locked your eyes with his, your heart starting to beat faster once again. If for some reason Merle had someone who cared for him, then they had to love him. That was a difficult man, the one you had met back there… It must've taken a huge amount of patience and devotion to want him around for more than a few hours.

If he actually had someone who cared for him, you were completely fucked.

“Daryl?” you hesitated to ask, not sure if you wanted to hear the answer.

“His brother.”

The scenario was so beautiful it was truly unbelievable. You were stepping out of the dock when Rick’s drowned cry caught your attention. Looking forward, you saw a kid running to hug him, followed by a woman. You quickly figured out Rick had found his family, making your heart flutter. In the shithole you were in, you figured those things were a sight to be seen, something that didn’t happen every day, so you let yourself enjoy the view.

You knew Rick’s son was young, even younger than Duane, but seeing him there made you realize how fragile he was.

Innocent, scared, too little to live through those times. And for a second, you forgot that a few hours before you thought you had no purpose left. Not finding your sister, seeing how one of the biggest cities in the country had fallen… you had started to think that there was no use in trying so hard to survive when you had nobody left.

But there he was, Carl, and there were more kids in the camp. Maybe you could do more than just survive. Trying to help them live their lives with as little worry and concern as possible was better than giving up.

“Why on earth did you leave the apartment?!” A loud, high pitched scream echoed through the camp, and it didn’t take long for you to spot her, running to you.

Her. Mayra. Your sister.

When her body slammed into yours, you fell backward as you hugged her tight, trying not to let her go, as if she could slip away from your arms at any moment. You stayed on the ground trying to take in every detail you could. Her shaky breath, the way her hair felt on your skin, how her fingers were uncomfortably pressed between the ground and your shoulder blades. Her small cries as she tried to find the exact words to say.

“I was looking for you!”, at that point, you were sobbing, not even thinking about the people whose eyes wandered from Rick to you two.

“And I was about to go back home looking for you!” She cried, steadying her breath before standing back up. You followed her actions, your sight never leaving hers.

You weren’t sure how long it had been since it all started. Weeks, for sure. Months, too, although sometimes it felt like decades.

Suddenly, her eyes widened and she scanned her surroundings, fear creeping in her. She put both of her hands on your shoulders and lightly shook her head, still searching for something, you couldn’t guess what.

“Did he die?” She questioned firmly. You didn’t answer, had someone else gone to Atlanta that hadn’t made it? Someone who died before you found the group? She couldn’t be talking about… 

The entire world fell on top of you. You had just discovered your sister was alive and had also just found out you left someone she cared about behind. “Did Merle fucking die?!”

The fire warmed your legs and the frog legs tasted so, so good. You hadn’t eaten anything freshly cooked in such a long time, it felt unreal. You were focused on your food and on Rick’s story, it was the first time you heard him talk in-depth about what had happened. He seemed happy, and the bags under his eyes were more subtle. His entire demeanor had changed.

“They found me…” your sister’s voice interrupted your trail of thoughts. You had a conversation pending; one that the both of you decided to ignore so you could enjoy the feeling of being back together, “... the Dixons, I mean. Merle didn’t want me around, Daryl didn’t either, but he was too kind to let it show. Thank God we found the group, like, a couple of days after I joined them.” Her eyes were lost in the flames as she spoke. She knew it hadn’t been your fault, there was no way you would leave him on purpose. “But I was about to die, Y/N. I felt the walker’s teeth on my skin, it tore the fabric on my shoulder. I just accepted it, didn’t fight back, didn’t try to escape.” She looked at you, and you realized that nothing meant shit anymore… life at that moment was constantly being on the verge of dying and knowing that the people you loved could die at any moment, too. Nothing could ever go back to what it used to be. “And, then, a freaking arrow went through the walker’s head. Clean, just like that, and it fell on top of me. I had never seen death in first person, you know. I had lost my friends after a dozen of those creeps came out of nowhere, but I didn’t see them die, I just heard the screams.”

She was your little sister, you hated to hear her that way, so hopeless and surrendering to death. 

“You’re safe now, these people know how to fight-” you stared, but she stopped you before you could finish.

“I know. But one of the men who saved my ass isn’t safe. Yes, he’s not the kindest, nicest, or most selfless man, but I owe him.” You knew that feeling too well. You owed Morgan and Duane, you owed Rick, and Glenn, and so many people. None of them had behaved the way Merle did, but not only Mayra owed him, you did too.

Nodding, you sighed and looked at her in the eyes, reassuring her you would do something to get him back, anything you could.

“Hey, Ed, you want to rethink that log?” Shane’s loud demand made you jump slightly. Your sister nudged you on your side with her elbow and signaled you to look at Ed. She had been suspicious about him and you both had talked about it a few hours back

“It’s cold, man.”

“Then join us or put it out, we don’t want to be seen…” you spoke, managing to sound as nice as you could. You didn’t want to start anything, but you knew how dangerous it could get. You had to avoid loud sounds and bright lights. But Ed, as expected, ignored you.

“Yeah, the cold doesn’t change the rules, does it? Keep our fires low, just embers so we can't be seen from a distance, right?” Shane continued.

“I said it's cold. You should mind your own business for once.” Ed’s answer has was harsh, you could tell he would be hard to deal with, but not everything could be perfect in such a numerous and diverse group. Everyone had different stories to tell, some of them were more tragic than others.

Shane got up and walked steadfastly towards Ed and his family’s fire, “Hey, Ed... Are you sure you want to have this conversation, man?”

“Go on. Pull the damn thing out. Go on!” Ed bossed and his wife pulled the log out of the fire almost immediately, not questioning his husband’s command. It was sad and frustrating, but knowing that stepping in could cause the wife and the little girl to get hurt forced you to stay in your place. Shane seemed to be handling the situation. He was like some sort of leader in the camp, and he had been around those people for so much longer than you, he knew what to do. At least that’s what you told yourself in an attempt to find comfort.

You saw how Shane spoke to Ed’s wife and their daughter, but you couldn’t hear what he said as the group had started a conversation to fill in the silence.

“Have you given any thought to Daryl Dixon? He won't be happy to hear his brother was left behind.” The man -whose name you learned was Dale- questioned, deciding to talk about the elephant in the room. 

“I'll tell him. I dropped the key. It's on me.” T-Dog’s shameful tone showed up once again.

“I cuffed him. That makes it mine.” Rick followed. It couldn’t turn into a competition of who was brave enough, who was the most selfless, or who was willing to sacrifice themselves.

“We were all there, it’s not a competition, any of us could’ve done something-” You intervened, hoping you could bring into the conversation the fact that you were planning on going back, but Glenn interrupted you:

“I don't mean to bring race into this, but it might sound better coming from a white guy.” You hated it, but if Daryl was as bigoted as his brother, then Glenn was right.

“I did what I did. Hell if I'm gonna hide from him.” T-Dog stated, completely convinced of facing the consequences.

“And we keep on making a competition out of this. We all should be there and say whatever we have to say.” You said in a determined tone. You were all responsible, one way or another.

“Look, Y/N… maybe I can tell him?” Mayra whispered as the rest kept on debating who should speak up.

“I don’t know how it could help…” You said back. Yes, Mayra knew him better than you, but she hadn’t been involved, she didn’t have to.

She opened her mouth to protest, but T-Dog’s words captured your interest instantly:

“My point... Dixon's alive and he's still up there, handcuffed on that roof. That's on us.”

When the fire was out and everyone got into their tents, including your sister, you still sat on the same log as before. The scenario felt strange, almost unknown to you: outside at night, under the cloudy night sky, and still not unsafe. It had been so long since you felt immortal and undefeatable, just like any other girl your age felt... like nothing could happen to you, not ever. You missed it. But beautiful as that night was, the imminent danger thickened the air.

You felt your eyes growing heavier each second. You were ready to go to sleep, so you got up and started to walk to the tent you and Mayra would share, but the sight of someone on the roof of Dale’s RV made you stop on your tracks.

Shane was keeping watch, and you wondered if he did it each night, or how had they arranged the shifts. He looked tired and the look on his face was anything but friendly.

“Hey, want to switch?” You asked approaching the stairs and climbing up, not waiting for an answer. Once you got off the stairs, your eyes wandered through the trees and landed up in the sky. If he kept watch every night, then you knew why. The view wasn’t mesmerizing, you had seen more beautiful countless times before, but the air up there was lighter, and the breeze, soothing. 

“Sorry ‘bout Ed today.” Shane ignored your question. You sat down next to the chair he was sitting in.

“Don’t be, he’ll pay for what he’s doing to his family someday. Soon, I hope.” You looked up and realized his eyes were lost somewhere in the horizon. He looked tired, and if you read more into it: defeated. “Go to sleep, I’ll stay. I want to.”

It came as a surprise to you: that was all he needed to hear. He didn’t protest, he got up, handed you the shotgun and left. You didn’t know if he would be able to get some sleep, at least he could try to.

But what you did know was that you weren’t suddenly concerned about the sleeping schedule of a man you had just met. You were desperately in need of being alone. Being around so many people was something you had only dreamt about, at least for the last weeks, and although you felt the luckiest you had ever felt, the safety you had found allowed you to put your feet back on the ground.

Everything had happened so fast. You almost died, and more than once. You met people, they saved you, you left one of them to die, you found out Mayra was alive and safe, Rick’s family was with her… and you still had to figure out how to break the news to Merle’s brother. 

You were going back to the city, too, as if everything that had happened wasn’t enough. You’d do it for your sister, and for the men who saved her, as questionable as they were.

And suddenly, it clicked.

The bag. The guns.

You had to remind Rick. It could save the group from an attack from walkers, or from other people. That way you knew somebody else would go back with you and you would actually have a shot of coming back alive, even if they despised Merle.

“Merle! Merle! Get your ugly ass out here! I got us some squirrel! Let's stew 'em up.”

You had just finished hanging some of your clothes to dry when an unbothered and loud voice caught everyone’s attention. From their wide eyes, you could tell who had just gotten back. Merle’s brother, Daryl, sounded, moved, and acted just like him. It wasn’t just the accent, but his words, how his presence made everyone uncomfortable… you could tell they were expecting him to snap as soon as he found out. Behind him, Shane and Rick looked and nodded to each other. You approached them, determined to be a part of it even if hell broke loose.

“Your brother was a danger to us all, so I handcuffed him on a roof, hooked him to a piece of metal. He's still there.” Rick got to the point with no rambling.

“We locked the door, he’s safe from walkers.” You dared to look at him in the eyes, but regretting it as soon as he opened his mouth.

“Hold on. Let me process this. You're saying you handcuffed my brother to a roof and you left him there?!”

“Yeah.” Rick stepped in front of you, and without skipping a beat, Daryl attacked Rick, who shoved him off. 

You took a few steps back and spotted your sister, who was just getting out of the RV. Her eyes widened and her mouth hung open as soon as she realized what was happening: Daryl, Shane, T-Dog and Rick were yelling at each other. She stood in her place, everyone in the camp knew well not to intervene. Shane had Daryl on a chokehold as Rick explained to him that he wanted to have a calm discussion, which seemed to force Daryl to give in. Shane let go of him.

“What I did was not on a whim. Your brother does not work and play well with others.” Rick kept going. At that point, you guessed nothing could actually calm Dixon, he was still breathing heavily.

“It's not Rick's fault. I had the key. I dropped it.” T-Dog cut in.

“You couldn't pick it up?” Daryl snarled.

“Well, I dropped it in a drain.”

“If it's supposed to make me feel better, it don't.” 

“Hey, I told you, the door’s chained with a padlock. There’s no way walkers could get to him.” You repeated, trying your best to be concise and get to the point: Merle was still out there. 

“And who the fuck are you?” Daryl took a few steps forward and stared at you in the eyes. You weren’t scared, but it did take you by surprise. You stumbled back and raised your hands, putting them in between you.

“She’s my sister, Daryl!” Mayra’s shaky voice made him turn around. You couldn’t see his face, but hers was filled with heartbreak. She felt she had failed him, as if she had broken an unspoken promise. Daryl faced you again.

“Funny, huh? How I saved your sister but you left my brother to rot.” He growled. His voice low and irritated.

Your eyes jumped from Mayra to him. You straightened your body and took a deep breath. He was right. You felt miserable, and you couldn’t imagine how hard it was for Mayra, you knew you would have to do something as soon as she told you her story.

“I know, that’s why I’m going back there. With or without you.”

[groovycatcollector]

The Wonderfully Right, And The Horribly Wrong (Daryl Dixon Love story)

Summery: After losing her brother and his wife, one young woman is left on her own, caring for a new born and trying to survive. After being taken in to a community after years of mistrust, how will she adapt, and what effect will a certain archer have on her. Starts the last episode of season 5

Warnings: slow-burn, angst, eventual fluff, violence, strong language. ptsd, age gap

Pairings: Daryl Dixon x OFC

Chapter 8

“We look like a danm ‘Baby and Me’ group” I joked, sitting across from Carl in the kitchen. Both of us had put our kids on the floor with pillows around them, making it a sort of make-shift baby fort. I poured us both some water before grinning like a mad woman with my chin resting in my hands.

“Who is she?” I sang, knowing I was irritating him. He plonked his big cowboy hat onto the table “If you’re gonna be annoying I can ask someone else” Carl looked as if he was trying to be an adult, and I looked as if I was trying to be a kid, bit of an odd pair.

“Who are you gonna talk to? Eugene? Morgan?” I was poking the bear, suddenly I pretended to be horrified, sitting back in the seat. “Oh no” He looked puzzled “Oh sweet Jesus no” I exclaimed. “You” I jolted forward pointing an accusatory finger at him “You were gonna talk to Abraham weren’t you?”

He looked at me blankly, arms crossed “Nina” I sat back, my outburst over. “I’m just saying he’s shit with the ladies” I missed goofing around with people, Carl reminded me of Beau, the baby’s daddy; Serious, a bit shy but as sweet as sugar on the inside. “Seriously who is she” I said again, a bit more serious. “Or at least what kind of person she is”

He talked, talked a good bit, and even though it obviously was Enid he still wouldn’t confess. I’ve seen her walking around, she was pretty, also the only girl his age. “Well, what does she like?” I was spinning my web was master match making, I missed this. “Find something your both into, make it a thing. Know anything she likes?” He shrugged, oh Jesus save me,teenaged boys

“Okay, what do you like about her?”  Carl paused “Shes smart, and pretty” okay… not much to go on “Have you expressed any interest?” He was rubbing his knees and his face was getting redder by the minute. “Okay well complement her, for a start. Or maybe start off my showering, that’s always a good place to start. Then find something you’re both interested in and go from there”

Carls face lit up like he had an idea “I know what to do” I could barely blink before he had swept up his hate and Judith and nearly ran out the door. Letting out a sigh I sat back

“Okay then”

I needed to get ready anyways, I was going on a run with Spencer Daryl and

 **

“Seriously stop thanking us, we can use the practice” Glenn scolded taking the bag of formula as Maggie bounced the baby on her lap while I shrugged the kami jacked I found in storage over my shoulders. I smiled, grateful to the couple that they consider babysitting “practice” for their oncoming child, still, I needed to go on this run, wanting to find a gift for the two to them as a congratulations present, and a few other things.

Glenn set the bag down on the counter “So feed every two hours, if he cries we check the diaper, feed, and bounce”

I rolled my eyes, he had a look on his face like he was saying this more for me then him. I crossed my arms, knowing what he was doing “Yes, okay you got it” I admitted, throwing my hands up in defeat. He leaned agents the island “He’ll be fine, stop stressing” I looked down and back up at him, I know he will be; especially with Glenn and Maggie. Taking a deep breath I decide to ask them.

I twitched my nose. “Hey Mag, could you come over here?” Her head darted in my direction, before standing, keeping the baby close to her chest. I shuffled my feet, brushing my hair out of my face “So you know how he’s being baptized in a few days?” They looked calm, Sweet Jesus I hope they say yes. “W-W-Well” Oh no, I started stuttering again, I could never shake that habit off “I was wondering” Fuck sake, deep breath “Wouldyouliketobehisgodparents?”

They stared at me blankly, “What” Maggie asked, before a wash of understanding washes over her face, and her shoulders relax. “Just in case anything happens to me, I want to know he’ll be well looked after" I explained desperately, my hand moving way too much for it to look natural.

Glenn glanced at Maggie, who smiled back “Of course we will” Glenn said, reaching out and touching my Bicep. A wave of relief washed over me, relaxing my muscles. “Thank you” I said, genuinely grateful. “When is the christening?” Maggie asked, starting to bounce the Baby I have yet to name in her arms. The other name threw me off and I tried to remember

“In a few days, Gabriel said he needed to refresh his memory of Catholic baptisms” Maggie nodded “Just tell us the morning of and we’ll be there” She smiled, and I hoped that they understood what they were getting into.

  **

  I sat in between Daryl and Spencer in the pick-up truck waiting for the turn off into the small town, where hopefully we’d fine a few shops that still had a few products inside.  I could them some baby clothes, or some wood and make them a crib. Spencer attempted to make small talk over Daryl’s useless stick driving but to no avail; both Daryl and I were focused on other matters. My leg occasionally bumping agents Daryl’s or Spencer’s thighs, causing Daryl to tense his arms agents the wheel and Spencer to move closer to me.

After knocking on the window we strolled into the shop, all armed with only hand knives, Spencer staying close behind as I followed Daryl. The store was dark and silent, expect for a few bangs of a stuck Rotter. Scanning the shelves, seeing a few boxes of incense, I figured it must have been a bit of a Hippie shop. Shoving whatever labelled ‘Natural Remedy’ into my rucksack; only a few bottles of oils and dried herbs.

“I’m gonna check the back” I called out, heading towards that door that said ‘employees only’ where the nagging was coming from.

Daryl shot me a look “Nah, I’ll get the walkers in a sec,”. Rolling my eyes at his dismissal I opened the door to the back. The second my hand pulled the handle back I knew I fucked up. The walker over powering me, and knock me to the floor.

Shit. Shit. His teeth biting and snapping towards my neck getting out a grunt I tried to bring my knife up to his head, but I couldn’t reach.

The only thing blocking his jaws from my neck was my forearm. Shit, I tried to kick my legs, trying to knock him over, but that only made him get closer to my face. I pushed the rotter back a little, just about to get my knife through its temple, but a knife went through his eye, inches away from my chin away from my chin.

Throwing him off of me I gasped for air .My ‘savoir’ spoke “Fuck Nina I told you I’d get it” I looked to Daryl standing over me, with a red face and veins pulsating in his neck. I propped myself up on my elbows “I had him” I huffed in annoyance. “Shit was reckless and you know” Jesus I feel like I’m being scolded for sneaking out on a school night. Spencer had slipped behind me into the store room.

Pushing myself to my feet I stand only a few inches away from him “I said I had him” Daryl stepped back. “Really? It didn’t look like it. Actually it looked like you were about to get bit” My temper was getting the better of me, I would have apologized if he didn’t have his finger in my face. I slapped it away, the dark shop making him seem more threatening, but this only pissed me off more.

Jesus Christ what is wrong with him. “I said I had it Dixon” I spat, turning on my heel and walking into the back. Obviously Daryl didn’t feel like this conversation was over, he grabbed my arm and was about to open his mouth to scold me.

I quickly decided that I wasn’t listening to a lecture before blurting out an “I’m sorry”. He dropped my arm, his eyes were a stern blue trying to read me. I’m a good liar, I know that much, but see saw threw it. He squinted his eyes before walking past me into the back.

“Clothes, shitty CD’s and candles mostly” Spencer announced as we walking in. It was dark due to the lack of windows, turning on my torch so I could get a better look “Take the clothes, they can be used has bandages” I said.

I strained my eyes trying to read the labels on boxes threw the dust. I brushed the curls off my face finding a book. “Natural Births: A Doulas Guide”, perfect, now I’ve a little thank you present for the godparents

Stuffing clothes I thought could be bandages I looked down, and saw a purple scarf and smiled at the genital colour. Hesitating to pick it up, it felt so wrong to even consider something frivolous at the end of the world.

Actually, no it didn’t. Fuck it I want a pretty head head scarf. I put my rucksack down warped it around my head once, just enough to keep the hairs off my face.

I walked over to the boys hearing a few laughs and a few “fuck yeahs” after curiosity got the better of me. They were kneeling down over three or four boxes, and peering over I could just about see glass bottles.

Spencer turned, smiling while handing me one of the mixed matched bottles. “This has been a great day” He beamed before turning back to the boxes. I brought my torch up to the bottle, no label.

I cautiously unscrewed it, taking a whiff. Immediately regretting it as the smell burnt my nose hairs. Regret soon turned into pure joy after registering what I smelt

Moonshine.

Part one Part two Part three Part four Part Five Part six Part seven

 Part nine Part ten Part eleven

Tags: @buckysjuicyplums

[twinklecheeks]

Friends With Benefits (Jeff Wittek Imagine) Part 3

Summary: Jeff and Y/N have been hooking up for a while. The whole vlog squad assumes they’re dating and Y/N does too but Jeff doesn’t like labels. He eventually starts to express interest in Natalie.

Note: Sorry I always post at night! I usually take the day to type and then release it at night. Planning on making this a multiple part series, depending on how good it does. You’re 21 & Latina in this (maybe) series. Also, I’d like to apologize for the typos, if there is any. I’m just illiterate lmao.  

Warnings! pregnancy.

Part 1, Part 2

Word Count: 1.9k

For the past week, you’ve been trying to figure out ways of telling the vlog squad that you’re pregnant… Would it be easier just to tell everyone at one or do one/two people at a time? UGH WHY DOES THIS HAVE TO BE SO DIFFICULT. You have to tell them asap because you’ll be able to know the gender in a month and you want them to be there. You decide to do something different for every couple of people in the squad but before you do, it’s time for your first ultrasound!

The last time you got this done, you were 9-10 weeks pregnant, so you were LATE finding out you were pregnant. You wanted to find the best doctor you can find and luckily, Kylie set you up with the same one she had. You brought Stass and Kylie to the appointment because they begged you. Doctor: *walks in* Hey y/n how are you feeling? Y/n: I don’t feel as sick anymore but I’ve been feeling really full lately. I didn’t think my stomach would pop out so early. I was thinking maybe it’s because I’m a small and short? Doctor: ‘maybe. Layback and let me take a look” she put the cold jelly on your stomach and starts looking around with the doppler. She finds the baby and you see it wiggling around. Kylie & Stass: “You’re giving us major baby fever rn.” The doctor turns on the heart monitor and you hear a strong heart beat. To you, it sounds normal, but to the doctor, she hears something else. She moves the doppler some more and she sees something. Doctor: “umm miss, how thorough was the ultrasound you had in the ER?” Y/n: “I don’t know, they had a lot of people and they did it a little quick? Why do you ask?” She moves the doppler to what she saw and you see another blob appear. Doctor: “if they would’ve been more thorough and taken time, they would’ve told you that you’re having twins. You, Kylie & Stass: “TWINS???!?!?!!!” Doctor: “Yes. It seemed to be that baby B was hiding behind baby A.” None of you had words. You were having twins… TWO KIDS. You felt like you were having the biggest fever dream of your life but you knew this was real. You already told your family you were pregnant but know you gotta tell them that you’re having TWO? Oh hell no. Doctor: “do you want picture?” Y/n: “uhhhh, sure?” You all walked out of the appointment speechless. Kylie: “well that happened.”

*A few days later*

I took you a couple of days to process that you’re eating for 3. You wanted to do something simple cause you didnt wanna stress yourself out anymore than you already are.

David, Jason & Josh:

(Remember when Erin pranked David and Josh that she was pregnant but it was really an ovarian cyst? It’s gonna be set up like that.)

You asked them to come with you and film in your tesla so you can film a car mukbang. You had the pregnancy test with the old ultrasound picture with only one baby in the glove compartment and you had the one that shows the twins in your pocket. Y/n: *filming a mukbang* “Hey guys! I have David, Josh and Jason here with me, say hi.”  All three of them: “Hi!!!” Y/n: “Since I had no other ideas this week, my last resort was this. So have fun watching us stuff our faces with food.” You drove to Chick-Fil-A, in n out and jack in the box. Once you got everything, You parked in a parking lot, but before you start, you asked David to get you some “napkins” that were in your glove compartment and you saw his eyes go wide. David: “Shut the fuck up.” Jason and Josh are in the backseat all confused and David shows them. Jason: “No you’re not.” You’re just sitting there all nervous/ laughing and all you can say is “yes I am.” David is crying cause he loves babies, Jason & Josh are congratulating you. David: “Who’s the dad?” Y/n: “He’s not in the picture.” They all look at you with sad eyes. Jason: “we’ll be here to help with everything at anytime.” Your hormonal ass is getting the best of you and you try to hold back the tears. Y/n: “oh! One more thing. That was the first ultrasound from 3-4 weeks ago, this one was from a couple of days ago” They all see the two blobs. All three boys: “ARE YOU FUCKING SERIOUS YOU’RE HAVING TWINS?.” David: “Can I plan the gender reveal party?? Y/N: “Sorry, Kylie already called dibs.” David: “You told Kylie before us? Wow that’s cold.” Y/n: “Oh shut up. She was my only friend my age that has a baby. I had to get advice.” David: “ To make it up to me, If one of them is a boy, can you please name it David Jr.” Y/n: “Yes…. for 250k.” Jason: “Honestly, I wouldn’t put it past him… cause it would probably be sponsored by seatgeek.” David: *looks to the camera* “You heard it yourself people. If she has a boy, she’ll name it David Jr. for 250k. “ Y/n: “Damn now I’m kinda scared”

NEXT DAY, Corinna & Mariah:

Okay so that went well, I gonna do a 2 truths, 1 lie with Corinna & Mariah. They’re gonna be playing on the same team, so it’s 2 against 1, well 2 against 3 lol. After about 3 rounds, it was a tie (I lied on other ones so we can tie.) Y/N: “Okay so my first one is that I broke my leg when I was 15, 2. I hate Corinna’s dog and 3. I’m pregnant. Mariah: “Oh what the fuck….. Ummm.” Corinna: “Wait, you hate Carl?!” Y/n: “Just answer the question.” Mariah & Corinna: “The lie has to be that you’re pregnant.” Y/n: “the lie is that I hate Carl.” It took them a minute to understand what I said. Mariah: ‘YOU’RE FUCKING PREGNANT.” Corinna: “OH MY GOD NO WAAAY.” Y/n: “Oh and one more thing! “Shows them the twin ultrasound.” Mariah & Corinna: ARE YOU FUCKING JOKING.” Corinna: “Are they Jeff’s?” Y/n: “Is it that obvious?” Mariah: “Kind of. The boys haven’t noticed because they’re idiots.”

NEXT DAY: Kristen, Scotty, Todd, Zane, Heath & Matt:

(I made this a big collab cause I was running out of ways to tell people)

So for this reveal, I asked the six of them to send in their silly baby/kid pictures so we can react to them. The last pic will be of the twin ultrasound. Y/n: *filming* “Hey guys! I’m here with Kristen, Scotty, Todd, Zane, Heath & Matt, say hi.” All 6 of them: “Hi!!!” Y/n: “This week, we’ll be reacting to our childhood photos and maybe roast them.” All of the pictures were so 90s. Kristen with the classic ruffled poofy dresses, Matt looking like a nerdy kid, Zane holding Hidaya when she was born, 7 year old Scotty singing into a hair brush…. And then the final picture, my twin ultrasound. Everybody was so confused. Zane: “Did someone eat their twin in the womb? cause aint none of us a twin.” And then someone finally noticed. Matt: “Y/n why is your name at the corner of that ultrasound?” Kristen: “NO YOU’RE NOT.” Heath: “OOOO BITCH SHE GONNA HAVE 2 LITTLE COFFEE BEANS.” Scotty and Todd are just speechless. You’re wondering if Todd knew about you and Jeff because he’s his best friend…

You pulled aside Kristen and told her Everything. The only people you can trust with who the dad is are the girls. Kristen: “Are you gonna tell him?” Y/n: “No… He doesn’t treat me right. If he’s never treated me right, how is he gonna treat these babies?”

Todd & Jeff on a hike:

Todd: “Hey, did you hear that Y/n is pregnant?” Jeff: “whoa no I didn’t. Who told you that?” Todd: “y/n did. She revealed it in a collab she was doing with others. She’s having twins.” Jeff: “Jesus Christ, twins? That’s gonna be terrible.” Todd: “She must’ve forgot to tell you. Maybe pregnancy brain really is a thing.” Jeff’s thoughts: “I knew that bitch was sleeping with other people. There’s no way those babies are mine. She had no right trying to get mad at me cause I’d ghost her. Thank god I’m with Natalie. She’s like no one I’ve ever dated before.”

Hanging out with Kylie & Stass:

I told all of the vlog squad. Stass: “Did you tell Jeff?” Y/n: “No, but Olivia told me that Todd told him. I think Jeff is too dumb to connect the dots. He won’t figure it out.” Kylie: “Are you sure you don’t want to tell him? You’re having twins and one baby is already a lot but two? You need the help. You know what, I can hire nannies for you.” Y/n: “What? No, you don’t have to do that. I don’t wanna spend your money.” Kylie: “It’s not like I’m running out. You do remember that I’m a billionaire, right?” Stass & Y/n: “How could we forget lol.”

David, Jason & Josh POV

David: “It sucks that y/n is gonna be a single mom. It’s gonna be a lot; 2 babies and she’s in her last year of college. I hope she’ll be okay.” Jason: “She’ll be fine. She has all of us to look out for her.” Josh: “I have my own kid to watch, so I’ll probably not be as much help.” David: “She has been one of the best friends I’ve ever had. We met on vine in 2015, we met up here in LA and then the rest was history. She was really there for me when Liza and I broke up. She was my shoulder to cry on. Honestly, I’d do anything for her.” Jason: “Do you have a thing for y/n?” David stayed silent. Josh: “I’m not sure if it’d be the right time to try to win her over. She has a lot going on.” David: “It’s getting pretty late, y’all should be heading home. Jason: “Yeah. I have to pick up Charlie and Wyatt early tomorrow. Josh: “The wife doesn’t like that I stay out late, goodnight.”

David thinking to himself:

I’ve had a thing for y/n for a while now but I don’t know. It’s obvious that she had a thing with Jeff. Because of those 2 fights they had in my backyard, I wouldn’t be surprised if Jeff was the father. I was mad at how Jeff spoke about her. She not like that at all! I mean, it’s not wrong if she were but no one should ever talk to a women like that. I’ll help her as much as possible; I’m not opposed if anything were to spark between us along the way…

Back to Y/n, Kylie & Stass:

Kylie: “When’s your next appointment?” Y/n: “2-3 weeks, why?” Kylie: “Cause by that time, WE CAN FIND OUT THE GENDER OF THE BABIES!” Stass: “She’s obviously gonna go all out. Did you see Stormi’s first birthday? I swear it looked bigger than a sweet 16.” Y/n: “Oh boy… or girl…”

------------------------

We get to find out the genders in the next chapter!! She’ll be like 16 weeks by then… I’m excited! I’ve already decided what both are gonna be… There’s gonna be some surprises! Oh and David has a thing for y/n? Ooooo girl the Tea is HOT. I also just realized the date of the video I picked when y/n and Jeff diddled (yes I said diddled).... The date on the video says 7/20…. That means the twins are due 4/20……. I swear I didn’t plan that lmao.

Taglist: @elvlogsquad @siemprestan @zavidzobrik @1-800-juniper @iminlovewithenchilidadas @ilsolee

[thatyanderecritic]

Mbti personality types...If they were Yanderes

Introduction:

Hey everyone it’s, Julie and Kai here. Lately, I (Julie) been dabbling on learning about  MBTI, or the Myers Briggs Personality Test. If some of you guys aren’t familiar with MBTI, essentially it’s a personality theory that breaks down people’s personality into 16 types. There are four categories that make up each personality type: Introvert (I) vs. Extrovert (E), Sensing (S) vs. Intuition (N), Thinking (T) vs. Feeling (F), and Judging (J) vs. Perceiving (P). Noteabley, there’s an additional category called Assertive vs. Turbulent. All 16 personality types have an alternative being an A or a T (ex. ISTP-A vs. ISTP-T). It tells how well the person can handle stress. This was a personality assessment theory created by Katharine Cook Briggs and her daughter, Isabel Briggs Myers. Some may note there are some similarities in the MBTI philosophy with Carl Jung’s philosophy but it was more coincidence than anything. For those who want to learn more or take the quiz themselves, check out this link here.

For now Kai and I will only be doing three out of the 16 personality types for obvious reasons... and also because Kai, herself, isn’t really feeling the theme of this analysis. However, if you guys really like this post and reblog, together, we can cohorce Kai into helping me write the other personality types. >:-) (Kai: >:( )

With that being said, in this post we will be analyzing the Yandere personality types of INTPs, INTJ, and INFP. Why you might ask? Well, it’s because I am (Julie) an INTP, Kai is an INTJ, and a close friend of ours is an INFP so this might be the easiest types for Kai and I to write about. Anyways, I’m just going to get right into it. 

INTP: The Logistical Yandere

 Yanderes who score as INTP are often described as the quiet and analytical types. They enjoy spending time alone with the S/O in the comfort of their home, verses in group settings. These Yanderes usually come of as mysterious and a bit absent minded outwardly because they are usually in their heads fantasizing about their future life with their S/O rather then being focus towards the present. In other words, they would already be thinking about being married and having kids before establishing a relationship with the S/O. In terms of the present, these Yanderes have a hard time when it comes to initiating a relationship with the S/O. INTP Yanderes are usually more socially awkward then charismatic because of the notion that they are more shy and introverted. However, when it comes to their S/O, they are very engaging and are good listeners and excellent solution providers due to their logical nature. 

INTP Yanderes are always hyper focused on their S/O. They want to know everything about their S/O, from their partner’s habitual patterns all the way to their S/O thoughts. These Yanderes always want to spend quality time with their S/O  in order to show the S/O that they love them. 

Selfish vs. Selfless INTP: 

INTP Yanderes can either be selfish or selfless depending on the scenario/story.

Selfish: Selfish INTP yanderes don’t take “no” as an option. If they want it and they want it now, they will take it. They are spontaneous in nature as well. They don’t take in consideration of the other’s schedule and just drag them along. They are thick faced enough to take even more than what they original got as well. (Ex. The S/O agree to a hug but an INTP yandere tries to get a kiss as well). 

Selfless: Selfless INTP yanderes have more of a “logical selflessness”. If it makes logical sense to be more thoughtful and selfless, then they don’t mind doing so. There must be a benefit for the act. If there are no benefits or it’s detrimental, an INTP yandere wouldn’t act. But if it’s for something they value extremely (like their S/O) then they would do so with no hesitation. For an INTP yandere, they “feel” logically. Logically, a happy S/O is better than a sad S/O.

INTJ: The Architectural Yandere

Similar to INTP’s, INTJ yanderes are seen to be the quiet type but one that gives off an air of intelligence instead of mysterious. They are bookish and prides themselves on their personal knowledge. Just like the INTP, they’re more future oriented and imagine a future with their S/O. But they’re capable of seeing the present to lay out a plan to achieve that future they dream of. INTJ yanderes are the type to lay out a carefully crafted plan to ultimately trap their S/O in the future they want. But INTJ’s are rigid in their ideas and only want perfection. If things don’t according to plan, it’s incredibly detrimental to both an INTJ yandere’s pride but their mind as well. Depending on how far the set back is, an INTJ can either work around the set back or force the pieces to fit again…. no matter what it takes. 

The common thing that set a INTJ yandere back in their plans is human emotion or irrational actions. Being incredibly logical, the plans they make are based on numbers and systems but never really factor in the possibility that their S/O won’t like them back. INTJ yanderes understand the importance of romantic rituals (dating, gift giving) but they don’t personally care for it. They would do it for their S/O but they find it tiring and stupid. They much rather be direct with their feelings and cut straight to the chase. But because of this, if their S/O doesn’t have the same mindset, there will be a disconnect between the two. 

Selfish vs. Selfless INTJ: 

INTJ Yanderes can either be selfish or selfless depending on the scenario/story.

Selfish: Selfish INTJ yanderes hold no regard for people’s emotion. They may understand it but if they judge it to be stupid or irrational, they would disregard it as an error and forced them (an S/O for example) to complying to the INTJ’s will. They are extremely blunt to the point as well. Even if they know what they say might hurt their S/O, they would say it anyways. Their more than willing to do manipulative tactics and guilt tripping to bend their S/O to their will. They plan only for themselves and how they want the other to act.

Selfless: Selfless INTJ yanderes are capable in understanding and hold some care to how a person may feel. Though they may state that it’s stupid or irrational, they are willing to comply and work with the other person. Though they will try to show a more logical plan in the long run, they’re willing to bend things to work with the other person’s feelings. Because of that, they plan more for a future where both them and their S/O are mutually happy.

INFP: The Mediatorial Yandere

INFP yanderes, just like other introverted types, are seen as quiet. But unlike INTP or INTJ, they are seen as more friendly and warm towards their S/O externally. As a Yandere, they are extremely caring, supportive, and nurturing to their S/O’s emotional well being. INFP Yanderes also have a strong sense of loyalty to meet their S/O’s needs. As a result, INFP Yanderes can easily fall into a pit of obsessiveness with how deep their love and compassion can run. These Yanderes are also extremely emotionally sensitive and are often paranoid by the notion that their S/O might be  cheating on them.

While these Yanderes usually respect the S/O’s need for space, they will not be happy about it internally and might speculate the worst likely scenario that they are not needed or have become a nuisance to the S/O. As a result, they may react very emotionally to arguments, misunderstandings, and any type of conflict between them and the S/O. Because INFP Yanderes are rather reserved about expressing their true feelings, they will never directly state their unhappiness to the S/O. 

Usually, the S/O will have to be good at reading in between the lines for this type of Yandere because INFPs have a tendency to blame themselves for all of the problems. They hold everything on their own shoulders when things go wrong.  

Selfish vs. Selfless INFP: 

INFP Yanderes can either be selfish or selfless depending on the scenario/story.

Selfish: From the surface, a selfish INFP yandere may act like a selfless INFP yandere. They act warm, friendly, and caring towards their S/O. But the reason why they act so kind isn’t so much in the goodness of their heart but for more selfish reasons of wanting to be rewarded, receive praise, and be loved in return. If they do not receive that reward, they may snap and take drastic measures to be loved in return. Can be rather clingy and heavily dependant on their S/O.

Selfless: As you can imagine, selfless INFP yanderes act the way they do out of the genuine love and care in their heart towards their S/O. They don’t expect anything in return and willing to carry the burden of the love. They strive to find a “win-win” situation with their relationship with their S/O but doesn’t mind having a “win-lose” situation instead.

Mbti if they were Yanderes part 2 here.

[ambereyesandwine]

We’ve Got Soul: Chapter 6

WC: 3034

Warnings: Cursing, Leo is a fuck, Character death, Violence (nothing major shown), Blood (2 kinds), Angst, Continued references to pop culture that is already considered “outdated” but I don’t care  

Beta’d By: @teaspacebar

Notes: With this chapter, we have started into game content! There will be some places where Fantasia’s story directly intersects with pieces and scenes from the game, but for the most part, Fantasia’s story will continue to be her own. In the places where they do overlap, obviously some things will be altered slightly so as to fit Fantasia into those conversations, but I will be staying mostly true to source content in these areas. Anyway, here it is, have fun :)

Chapter 6:

November 5, 2038

10:11 A.M.

           Fantasia let herself in, as was now the norm, and crossed the entryway of her mentor’s home. She heard the piano being played in the sitting room and went in to find Markus was playing, while Carl sat quietly listening. A smile spread across Fantasia’s face as she hung in the doorway and listened to the intimate tune.

           “Something has changed in the way you play. Sometimes I think you have more humanity than most humans.” Carl’s tone was sincere and warm as he spoke to Markus. “One day, I won’t be here to take care of you anymore. You’ll have to protect yourself… and make your choices… Decide who you are, and wanna become.” Carl took note of Fantasia’s presence with a small smile and nod before continuing his thoughts for Markus. “This world doesn’t like those who are different, Markus. Don’t let anyone tell you who you should be.” Carl did not wait for a response before abruptly switching to a new train of thought. “Let’s go to the studio,” He said as he motioned for Fantasia to follow.

           The trio made their way quietly into the studio and Markus made quick work of connecting Carl’s chair to his painting lift.

           “Let’s see where I left off. Remove the sheet.”

           Carl’s request was simple and Markus promptly followed the instruction. Fantasia and Markus stood back and watched as Carl swept his brushes across the enormous hanging canvas.

           Fantasia leaned slightly closer to Markus and spoke softly so as not to disturb her mentor. “He’s right, you know.”

           “Hmm?” Markus hummed in question.

           “I heard you playing the piano earlier, and what Carl said to you, and you do have more humanity than most people do, but it’s not just when you play.” She looked to him and found him staring back at her with confusion covering his face. “Markus, you’re kind, and thoughtful, and you have so much good in you.” The smile she gave him was genuine and sweet. “You could change the world if you wanted to.”

           The only reply Markus had time to give was a smile that pulled at one side of his mouth before Carl began to lower himself from the lift.

           “So, do we have a verdict?” The man asked as he sat himself back into his wheelchair.

           Markus turned from Fantasia to the painting and looked over it before responding, “Yes, there is something about it. Something I can’t quite define.” He thought carefully for another moment and said, “I guess I like it”

           Carl huffed. “The truth is, I have nothing to say anymore… Each day that goes by brings me closer to the end… I’m just an old man clinging to his brushes.”

           Fantasia’s expression turned dejected. “Carl, that’s not-”

           “But enough about me,” The man interrupted, “Let’s see if you have any talent, Markus. Give it a try, try painting something.”

           “Paint? But what I- painting what?” He stumbled through the words.

           “Anything you want! Give it a try.” Carl said as he handed Markus a palette and brush.

           Markus looked around for a moment and began to paint, producing a dead-on picture of Carl’s supply desk.

           Carl shook his head. “That is a perfect copy of reality. But painting is not about replicating the world, it’s about interpreting it, improving on it. Showing something you see.”

           “Carl I don’t think I can do that. It’s not in my program… I…”

           “Go on, go, try, grab that canvas.”

           Fantasia handed Markus a new canvas and watched as Carl coached him through creating a painting all his own.

           “Do something for me,” Carl said, “Close your eyes. Trust me.” He waited for Markus to do as he asked before he continued, “Try to imagine something that doesn’t exist, something you’ve never seen. Now, concentrate on how it makes you feel, and let your hand drift across the canvas.”

           Markus pulled the brush back and forth across the canvas and moved like he’d let something else entirely take over him. When he backed up, Fantasia gasped.

           “Oh my God.” Carl seemed just as lost for words.

           The three stared at the canvas, now covered in reds and oranges that formed a portrait of Markus. The expression he’d painted was somber, but the image was distorted, like it was meant to show confusion or doubt.

           “Hey dad.” The silence was broken by Leo’s voice, shaking as he called across the studio.

           “Leo,” Carl addressed as he approached his son slowly, “I didn’t hear you come in.”

           Leo smiled, but something about it made the hair on the back of Fantasia’s neck stand up. “Oh, I was in the neighborhood; thought I’d stop by,” He said it non-chalantly like these visits were normal. “It’s been a while, right?”

           Carl’s concern was evident on his face. “Are you alright? You don’t look so good.”

           “Oh, yeah, yeah, I’m fine. Hey listen, uh… I need some cash, Dad.”

           Fantasia huffed and rolled her eyes in annoyance but stayed otherwise silent, knowing it wasn’t her place to interject in the discussion.

           “Again? What happened to the money I just gave you?”

           “Uh, well, it just goes, you know?”

           “Yeah…” Carl trailed off, coming to a realization he’d hoped to avoid. “Yeah, you’re on it again, aren’t you?”

           “No, no, no, I swear it’s not that.” Leo quickly attempted to defend himself.

           “Don’t lie to me Leo.”

           “What difference does it make?” The younger man’s irritation seemed to explode. “I just need some cash, that’s all!”

           Carl’s voice was laced with sorrow and disappointment when he responded, “Sorry… The answers no.”

           “What? Why?”

           “You know why.”

           Leo looked over to where Markus and Fantasia were standing, resentment covering his features. “Yeah, yeah… I think I do know why.” He released a short and dark chuckle as he continued, “You’d rather play house with your plastic toy and orphan barbie than take care of your own son, eh? Tell me dad, what do they have that I don’t?” Leo walked toward the pair and took it as a challenge when they didn’t back away, “What? Cause she’s more artsy than I am?” He pointed toward Fantasia as he stared his father down before he moved to Markus. “Is it that this one’s smarter? More obedient? Not like me, right?” Markus held his ground as Leo got in his face and continued ranting. “But you know what? This thing is not your son. IT’S A FUCKING MACHINE!” Leo yelled as he shoved Markus.

           Fantasia was quick to help Markus catch himself, wrapping a hand around his forearm to pull him upright and help steady him as Carl yelled, “Leo, that’s enough!”

           “Are you okay?” Fantasia’s words were rushed and quiet, meant only for Markus, and he nodded slightly in reply.

           “Enough.” Carl repeated weakly.

           Leo began to shake his head in resignation. “You don’t care about anything except yourself and your goddamned paintings. You’ve never loved anyone, you’ve never loved me, Dad,” He said as he turned toward the door. “You never loved me.”

           Carl sighed heavily and pulled a hand up to his forehead as soon as the door closed behind Leo. “Markus, are you alright?” He almost whispered the question, but the android heard it nonetheless.

           “I’m fine, Carl. Are you okay?”

           “Yes, but I’m done in the studio for today, and I’d like to lay down before we have to leave for our event this evening.” He sounded worn and out of breath.

           “Of course, Carl,” Markus responded as he began to move, only to realize Fantasia still had a hold on his arm. He stopped and looked down at her hand and then to her eyes before she noticed the extended contact and immediately pulled her hand away.

           “Sorry,” She mumbled as she turned away to hide the red tint spreading over her cheeks. “I can get things together in here while you take him upstairs, if you’d like.”

           “That’d be great.” Carl called to her before Markus had a chance to respond.

           “Great,” She said, all too eager to have something else on her mind. Fantasia began to clean the studio and was relieved to hear the door close, telling her she was alone. She let out a breath she didn’t know she’d been holding and felt herself relax a little. “All good, let’s just finish cleaning and pretend nothing happened.” She spoke to herself as she tidied the room. When she finished, Fantasia exited the room and was greeted by the smell of strong coffee. She hummed as she walked toward the kitchen. “You made coffee?” She questioned happily when she saw Markus pouring from the pot.

           “I figured you’d want some.” He said as he handed her the mug with a smile. “While we wait for Carl, would you like to keep working on the song I was teaching you to play?”

           “Absolutely.” Fantasia smiled over the lip of the ceramic cup and followed Markus back into the sitting room toward the piano.

November 5, 2038

9:41 P.M.

           The car pulled slowly into the driveway of the Manfred household, and Fantasia thanked the driver as Markus helped Carl get out of the vehicle.

           “Thank you so much, have a good rest of your night.” She waived to the man as she closed her door and walked around to the other side. “Do we have everything?” She asked openly.

           “The only thing you had to bring home was me,” Carl stated shortly.

           Markus chuckled, “You can be very hard to keep track of.”

           Fantasia couldn’t help but giggle slightly.

           “Funny.” Carl rolled his eyes fondly at Markus’s comment. “I think it’s time for a drink.”

           “Actually,” Fantasia started, “I think I’m going to turn in for the night.”

           “Already?” Carl asked.

           She smiled, “It’s been a long day of keeping track of the two of you. I’m tired.”

           “Fine, be a party pooper. Markus and I will just go in and have a drink ourselves.” Carl began to wheel himself toward the front door.

           “Have a good night, Fantasia.” Markus smiled and nodded at her.

           She shook her head good-naturedly. Fantasia had reminded Markus on the regular that he was welcome to call her ‘Tasia,’ but he had never made the switch. “Good night, Markus.”

           Fantasia walked down Carl’s driveway and up her own, ready to turn in for the evening. After she had taken her makeup off and pulled her hair up, not bothering to brush the hair sprayed curls out, Fantasia was getting changed into pajamas when she heard sirens outside. She walked outside cautiously to see what was happening, only to find two police cars parked in front of Carl’s house, and Chris Miller standing outside.

           “Chris, what’s going on?” She approached the officer with confusion.

           “Fantasia?” He was surprised to see her, “You live here?”

           “No, I live next door. This is Carl’s house, what’s going on?”

           “We got a call about a possible break in, but-”

           There was a gunshot from inside.

           “Shit.” Chris muttered the word and immediately radioed for backup. He saw Fantasia start to walk toward the house and caught her by the arm. “You can’t go in there.”

           “What if they’re hurt?”

           “That’s what we’re here for, you stay here.”

           Fantasia’s worry was evident on her face, but she stayed focused on Chris’s words until she saw movement out of the corner of her eye a few moments later. It was two police officers carrying an unmoving person down the walkway from the door.

“Markus?” Fantasia questioned softly. She looked down to see that he was not walking, but being dragged, and was covered in thirium. “Markus?” It was more urgent this time. She still received no response of acknowledgement from him and her thoughts and voice became frantic. “Markus!” Fear welled in her chest and she called his name again before they put him in the back of a police car.

           Chris stepped in front of Fantasia, hoping to calm her, but her eyes were set beyond his form. She watched as Leo came out of the house, escorted by a police officer toward the ambulance that had arrived only moments ago. His face was covered in blood and he cradled the back of his head in pain.

           “Leo,” She seethed.

           Upon hearing his name, the man looked up, but gave no verbal recognition to the woman.

           “What did you do, Leo?”

           A cruel side-smile was all the response Fantasia received from him.

           A rage crossed over Fantasia’s face like Chris had never seen before and she lurched forward, leaving Chris with barely enough time to catch her around the middle before she pounced. “What did you do!?” She yelled to him from across the driveway. Fantasia struggled to free herself from Chris’s grip, but he held steady, fearing for what might happen if he let her go. She continued to yell at the younger Manfred, her anger only growing with the man’s refusal to acknowledge her. Fantasia’s vision tunneled so far that she failed to notice her mentor sitting solemnly on his porch, observing, or her best friend’s car screeching to a stop only a few feet from her.

           Gavin jumped from the driver’s seat and made a beeline to Fantasia, who was yet to see him.

           “Gavin,” Chris panted, “A little help?” His stamina was running out far faster than Fantasia’s and his grip was loosening.

           Gavin put himself in front of Fantasia, but her eyes were focused past him, still on the man now sitting in the open back of an ambulance. “Fantasia.” He searched her eyes and found no recognition, only anger and pain. “Tasia, hey!” She stopped moving. “Look at me.”

           Fantasia slowly met Gavin’s eyes as hers began to fill with tears.

           “Hey,” He said calmly, “Hey, you’re okay. Okay,” He directed his attention to Chris and the officer now walking up to the trio. “What happened?”

           The other officer was the one who answered, “We got a call about a possible break in and when we came to investigate, we found the household care android had attacked the Manfreds.”

           “No.” Fantasia’s voice was barely above a whisper, and the gloss began to return to her eyes.

           “We took care of it.”

           “Meaning?” Gavin questioned.

           “We shot the android, Detective. It’ll be dismantled and sent to the junkyard.”

           “Fuck,” Gavin mumbled. He didn’t need to look at Fantasia to know she’d be destroyed by this information. “Okay, I need a minute and then we can get started.” He turned to Fantasia and found what he’d expected. The look in her eyes was shattered. “Come on.” Gavin pulled Fantasia to the passenger side of his car and opened the door for her before sitting her down. “I need you to stay here while I do my job and then we’re gonna go, okay?”

           Fantasia did not reply. She felt Gavin move her legs inside the vehicle and then close the door softly, but that was all she could register. Her focus was blurred at best and her entire body felt fuzzy; she couldn’t move her fingers or toes. For a while, Fantasia stared blankly out the window of Gavin’s car, unable to see past the droplets of water racing down the glass, obscuring the images behind them. She hadn’t noticed the car moving until Gavin spoke to her again.

           “Tasia, we’re here.”

           She slowly turned her head to him.

           “Earth to Fantasia,” Gavin searched her eyes for any form of recognition. “Are you alive in there?”

           She hummed shortly and turned back toward her door. Her movements were sluggish as she pulled the handle and rose from the car. She stood quietly for a moment with her arms wrapped around her stomach for warmth.

           Gavin came around to her side of the car to collect Fantasia. “Okay, let’s-” He stopped mid-sentence when he looked down and noticed for the first time that Fantasia was not wearing shoes. “Jesus, you are absolutely helpless right now, aren’t you?” He leaned down slightly and scooped her into his arms to carry her across the rocks and up the stairs.

           Fantasia gave no reaction until he set her down at the door to unlock it. She went inside and sat down on the couch as though by muscle memory and pulled her knees up to her chest.

           “No. No,” Gavin scolded her, “You’re soaked, and you are not ruining my couch and getting hypothermia at the same time.” He disappeared to his bedroom for a moment and returned with a long sleeve shirt and a pair of sweats in his hands. “Go put these on, I’m gonna make coffee.” He waited until she left the room to make the coffee, and already had it poured into mugs by the time she sat back down on the couch. “One cup of coffee, black as night,” He said as he set one mug down on the coffee table in front of her, “And one with just a little bit of milk and sugar because I’m not a terrorist.” Fantasia’s lack of reaction told Gavin that she was still in shock, which meant she needed more than Sarcastic-Asshole-Gavin from him. “Okay, why don’t I put on that old movie you like? That Disney cartoon about that city…” He thought for a moment before the name came to him. “Atlantis, right?”

           She made a small, dazed, noise of approval, which Gavin took as all the go-ahead he’d get. He put on the movie and watched it with Fantasia next to him on the couch, neither of them making a sound. When the movie ended, Gavin looked over to find Fantasia asleep, curled as far into the corner of the couch as she could get. She hadn’t touched her coffee. Gavin only nodded slightly to himself and stood up, gracefully taking Fantasia in his arms to put her to bed. He tucked her neatly into his bed before grabbing a pillow and blanket for himself. Fantasia made no move that suggested she’d be waking up anytime soon, so Gavin quietly put their dishes in the sink and got settled on the couch for the night.

[wclsh-a]

CHARACTER STUDY META.

so, this is mostly a post for my followers who aren’t familiar with twd / shane walsh, and are wondering what kind of character he is. please note that i’m writing this based on how i personally view shane, so some of this might not be actual canon, although i try my best to stick to canon as closely as possible. however, even if you are familiar with shane as a character, i’m hoping this post will give a bit of an idea of how i write shane. anyway... putting this under a read more bc it got kinda long

alright, let me talk about my portrayal of shane walsh for a moment. shane is a guy who starts out being neither entirely good nor entirely bad. i feel like when it comes to shane, a lot of people see him as either or, but what i love about the walking dead is that most of the characters aren’t just all ‘good’ or all ‘bad’. the so-called “good guys” of the series actually do bad things at times, and the “bad guys” of the series actually do good things at times, or at the very least comes off as good at some point or another.

and with shane, he kind of goes through a change throughout the first two seasons. he starts off more on the scale of a “good guy sometimes doing bad things,”  but as the series goes on, things gets more and more blurred for him to the point where he ends up more as a “bad guy sometimes doing good things.” i’m not going to go into too much details about what brings about this change, but tl;dr; after believing his best friend, rick, was dead, shane fell in love with and entered a relationship with rick’s wife, lori, and after rick turned out to be alive, lori left shane for rick, while rick basically took over the leadership of the group that shane had been leading and kept safe up until then, and so shane started to blame rick for putting their group in danger and people in their group getting hurt and killed from rick’s decisions (or at least shane sees it as rick’s decision making being the fault,) and shane also struggled to accept and come to terms with how lori was suddenly treating him like he had only been hurtful to her and carl and acted like she never even cared about him to begin with and told him to stay away from them, etc.

.... anyway.... that whole thing’s a mess so i’m not gonna go into that any more in this post.

from before the outbreak, all the way up to when rick came to the atlanta camp, and even a little after rick showed up, shane was shown as someone who cared about people and their safety. some might disagree here, and bring up scenes like where shane refuses to go after and help the people in their group who got stuck in the city as shane not really caring. but when you look at it, the people in the group that was still in camp with shane, was people who either a) was old b) didn’t know how to use a gun / how to fight c) got frightened / terrified / panicked at the sight of walkers and / or d) were just kids. to take any of them into the city where they knew walkers were in large herds in an attempt to save the others? to shane, that seemed more like sentencing them all to death. shane also knew that those in their group who was in trouble in the city was more equipped to handle themselves and had a better chance at figuring out a way to save themselves, and also since shane and the others weren’t able to stay in contact with them over the radio due to poor reception, shane had no guarantee that they would even stay where they were by the time shane and the others could’ve reached them if they did try to go after them. all in all, shane had plenty of reasons to not try to help them, and no reason aside from it ‘being the right thing to do’ to try to help them. 

it’s not that he didn’t care or didn’t wish he could help. to him, it just wasn’t worth the risk.

some examples that he did care about others than himself, is how he selflessly put his life at risk to try to help his best friend, rick, who was in a coma at the hospital during the outbreak, and, when he realized there was nothing he could do, he still put a bed against the door to the room rick was in, in a desperate last hope of a miracle that rick could somehow survive. another example, is how shane looked after carol and sophia, even more so after noticing how carol’s husband abused his wife. he always made sure to check up on them, and when carol apologized on behalf of her husband for something her husband did, shane assured her she had nothing to apologize for. and when he finally caught ed in the actual act of trying to abuse his wife, shane intervened and brutally beat him up, warning him to never lay a hand on anyone again. another example is how he looked after jim when he had a sunstroke, making sure he stayed in the shadow, and got enough water and was able to cool down, and when jim got bit, how shane was one of the people who expressed that he didn’t want to kill him and that it didn’t feel right leaving him behind even though jim had asked for it himself. 

one thing i’ve noticed is that shane constantly talks about his disapproval when it comes to taking risks that puts the group’s safety at jeopardy, and i mean, if he truly didn’t care, he wouldn’t constantly worry about putting the group’s safety at risk.

that being said...

he also has a lot of flaws and issues. 

shane has a mindset where he thinks he’s always right, and struggles to understand other people’s opinions if they’re at odds with his own, even after hearing them out. this goes back to even before the outbreak, but it wasn’t as noticeable back then as post outbreak, as he was more willing to “agree to disagree” in order to maintain the peace, because back then, disagreements rarely meant the difference between life and death, so he could live with swallowing his own pride more easily because it rarely came at much of a cost, whereas decisions after the outbreak often did...

this mentality, especially on top of his strong desire to keep the group safe, can quickly bring out a lot more negative sides to shane when people start disagreeing with him. best case scenario, he’ll think you’re just a naive idiot who he doesn’t much care for or care to listen to (this is usually the case if he thinks you don’t have much influence / power over the rest of the group, like with dale.) worst case scenario, he’ll look at you as a great danger to the group, one that needs to be dealt with to keep the rest of the group safe (this is usually the case if you are in a leadership position, like with rick.) either way, people disagreeing with him can quickly lead to shane becoming frustrated, hotheaded, etc, especially after rick takes over leadership of the group and he starts to feel everyone shift towards supporting rick and no longer listening to anything shane has to say.

also, while shane wants to keep the group safe, he is not always a person you can rely on if you ever get yourself in a pinch. in fact, chances are he’s not going to be willing to risk himself or others to come back for you, unless there’s a really goddamn good chance of success or at the very least a really low risk for others getting hurt / killed. and even then, he’ll be hesitant about it.

he has also proven to be willing to sacrifice a good, decent person to save himself and someone in his own group, as proven when a man not in their group, named otis, accidentally shot rick’s son, carl, and carl ended up needing medical supplies to survive. so when shane and otis went out to get said supplies, and got crowded by a herd as they tried to leave, otis rescued shane, however shane ended up shooting otis in the leg to draw the herd to otis, giving himself an opening to save himself and get the supplies back to carl. he didn’t take any pleasure in doing it, and struggled with it afterwards, but he justified it to himself by the fact that sacrificing otis had ensured that shane had managed to get back with the supplies and thus saving the kid.

shane also has a whole bunch of other issues that are connected to his dynamics with rick and with lori, which includes an obsession with lori, jealousy of rick and lori’s relationship, a growing hatred / resentment towards rick ( partially because of said jealousy, but also partially because he genuinely thinks that while rick has good intentions, he is a danger to the group, especially since the group seems to blindly put their faith in rick and has stopped listening to shane at all.) but that’s a whole different story and this post is already getting too long, rip