#i love being trans i love being genderqueer

[frogsdocrimes]

wearing a dress for the first time since top surgery and this is fucking awesome actually

[gobstoppercowboy]

Shoutout to all my fellow ppl who see themselves as being simultaneously a boy and a girl. People who often wear clothes traditionally associated with their agab, or who don’t feel extreme dysphoria towards their body. People whose gender issues stem from within, and from knowing that they can’t just metamorphosise on a whim. People who’re a multiplicity in of themselves. People who’ve never known a life of gender singularity. People who’ve always been this way, people who’ve never known different. People who live exactly how they are, as confusing and conflicting as it may be sometimes. People whose friends and family would be beyond shocked and surprised if they told them they weren’t cis. People who love being this way. People who love having their own unique version of the masculine and feminine experiences, who use contradictory sets of pronouns. People who don’t really know if they can call themselves trans, but definitely aren’t cis, and altogether definitely don’t really care. People who are boys and girls and men and women and both and neither all at the same time. I love you. We’re the coolest. <3

[darknesspervades]

I LOVE BEING TRANS!!! I LOVE SEEING THE WORLD IN ITS SPECTRUM OF COLOUR AND BEING FREE TO EXPRESS MYSELF HOWEVER I WANT!!! I LOVE THAT I CAN EXPLORE MASCULINITY AND FEMININITY FREE OF RESTRICTIONS!!!!! I LOVE THAT I'M PART OF SUCH AN ACCEPTING COMMUNITY!!!! I LOVE BEING TRANSGENDER!!!!

[picnokinesis]

Thoughts on Different Types of Representation in Doctor Who (and how fandom responds to it)

So I watched Rogue last night and - okay first, oh my days, absolutely ADORED it, this is definitely my favourite episode of this season, it was just so much FUN and it hooked me right from the start. And then the queerness! I was actually thinking to myself whilst watching it how wonderful it was because it felt like a queer story in a way that wasn't like, showboating about how progressive it was? [editorial aside: this is not comparing it to anything in particular, just a general observation]. The characters were just queer, within this wild and wonderful sci-fi story, but also their queerness wasn't the Only Character Trait they had and their story didn't resolve around their queerness, but their queerness was crucial to the plot in a way that was just lovely to see - and as a writer myself, it's personally the way I love to see our stories being told.

But then I made the mistake of going into the tag - always a foolish thing to do, because for some reason everyone loves to praise this era by criticising the previous era (as if it hasn't been criticised enough...like we know most of y'all hate Chris Chibnall for committing no worse crimes than Moffat and RTD before him...we know). And I found a couple of folks talking about how this episode alone did more for queer representation than the entirety of thirteen's era, whiiiiich at first really Peeved Me Off - like didn't these people understand how important Yaz's arc (especially Eve of the Daleks) was to a LOT of people? But then I was like 'well actually this is interesting', right? Because I think there's two very different kinds of representation going on here - and they're both very important in different ways, but one tends to get lauded as brilliant rep and one always gets put down as not good enough, or even bad rep. And what's the main difference? Whether the characters have a gay kiss or not.

So I just thought I'd share some of my thoughts and feelings on this, and why I think both these kinds of rep are equally important! To be clear from the get-go though - this is definitely not me ragging on anyone who likes more about one than the other (in fact, I think everyone likes one more than the other). This is merely a personal essay about it and the frustrations that comes when people in general do lift one up over the other. I'm gonna put it under the cut though, because it might get a bit long!

So, back when Eve of the Daleks aired, I remember having a lot of conversations about the representation in that episode - in particular with a very good friend of mine, who is a lesbian. And we realised that when it came to rep, we both actually wanted pretty different things. I'm aroace and genderfluid, and so a lot of what I saw in how thirteen was written - especially in terms of her gender (or lack thereof), and also her apparent lack of attraction (at least, in how I read it) was just incredibly affirming to me. I've never EVER seen a character on screen that I could see myself in both in terms of sexuality and gender. Whereas my friend saw things quite differently - thirteen was a lesbian, and they wanted to see that kiss between these two characters, because for them too, it was so rare to see that, and, in their words, they wanted to have their cake and eat it too. And we both realised that the reason that queer representation can feel so intense and important is, simply, because there isn't enough of it. We're all desperately reaching for the same small portion - and none of it is ever going to please everyone, or resonate with everyone. The stakes are too high.

So then, when there wasn't this dramatic romantic ending to Yaz's story, when there was no queer kiss, I was very sad for my friend, who didn't get that representation, but so painfully relieved for myself - because I got mine. So then it sucked a lot to see a lot of people getting really angry that this wasn't queer representation, that this was even homophobic - I even had someone tell me that aromantic representation in this regard was always going to be homophobic, because no-one would ever write it to be aro rep, and would instead only ever write it to avoid writing a gay kiss. And the thing that got me the most was that, REGARDLESS of whether they kissed or not, regardless of how you read either of the characters, there was one thing that was certain:

Yaz was queer. In text. Her emotional plotline centred around her realising that she was attracted to the Doctor (who was presenting as a woman - although, again, I don't think she really identified as such). The fact that she and the Doctor didn't get together by the end does not erase that fact.

They didn't kiss - but so what? Are queer people only queer when they're kissing someone of the same gender, or having gay sex? Are queer people not queer in their day to day lives, when they're not doing any of those things? Are queer people not queer when they're not dating? Are queer people not queer when they're trans, when they're ace, when they're aro, when their queerness doesn't resolve around attraction to the same gender?

And, to be honest, I think a lot of my feelings around this stem from the sort of exclusionist rhetoric that we saw a LOT of towards the ace/aro community back in 2012 that we still see now, that we're seeing towards the trans community now, that we're still seeing towards bi people, for pete's sake. It's this in-community infighting, pushing each other down to try and get up to the top, to keep all the "resources" for "the people who really need it", and it causes a serious amount of harm - but the truth is (and to bring this back to doctor who) that it all comes back to what me and my friend were discussing. We're all scared, all desperate to be seen - and when we are seen, it's the most incredible experience and the idea of losing that (or having someone else undermine it) feels inexpressibly awful. Having the thirteenth doctor...I suddenly realised this is what all the straight cis white dudes get all the time. She was like me, and that was indescribable. And then losing her - and having RTD not even be able to have a man wear her clothes because he was too worried about what the tabloids would say to be able to show a gnc person on tv...and then constantly described her as The Woman Doctor for the next entire episode - that hurt. A lot.

I've spoken to other friends who felt so seen in the character of Yaz - those people who realised they were queer later in life, those who fall in love with people and it doesn't end up going anywhere, those who don't get the whirlwind queer romances that people often call 'good representation'. Myself and many of my aspec friends have felt so seen in thirteen's almost entirely romance-less arc, and myself and my trans/genderqueer friends felt very seen in the way that thirteen's character would have been exactly the same if she'd been a man - the only difference was how the other characters around her interacted with her. Gender was something that happened to her. And when I watch episodes like Rogue, even though I don't relate to that representation, I just feel overwhelmed with joy because I know how important it will be to others that I care about. I think my sadness then comes from the fact that the way Thirteen and Yaz were written are just as important to me and many people that I know, but because they didn't kiss, it's not considered queer enough. Am I not queer enough, then? Are my friends not queer enough?

We need more episodes like Rogue, like The Parting of Ways, like Praxeus, like The Doctor Falls, because they are unquestionably and unapologetically queer, in a way that can't be avoided. We also need more episodes like Eve of the Daleks, like The Haunting of the Villa Diodati, like the rest of thirteen's era where the representation is an undercurrent throughout the whole story - but also undeniable, in a way that Yaz's story arc is, even if it doesn't end in a kiss, even if it doesn't end neatly and happily. Personally, I definitely would love to see more stories focused on aromanticism and on transness (especially ones that are written by trans people for trans people, rather than by cis people for cis people), but that's probably going to be down to people like me and other writers that I know actually getting into the script writing industry - and that depends on the people who are already there letting us in. One thing that I've always appreciated about Chibnall is that, after leaving Doctor Who, he began a programme for training up new showrunners with ITV, because: "showrunners are the gatekeepers and too many of the gatekeepers look like me."

Anyway, I probably have more thoughts that I've forgotten, but that's generally the gist of it. I think the more we fight over whether rep is 'good' or 'bad', relating to whether we see ourselves in it or not (rather than 'is this genuinely harmful or unhelpful', which I think is a more crucial question) the more the waters get muddied. We have different needs and wants, and no single episode is going to represent every facet of our community. But each episode, each story like this is a step in the right direction - and even rep that isn't perfect (I have thoughts about The Star Beast, for example) is still extremely positive and important, and definitely something that should be celebrated, even as we keep looking to the future for what we would like to see done differently, done better. And some day, I hope, there'll be so much queer rep, it'll be so normal, that those stakes won't feel so high anymore. It won't feel like everything hangs on how a certain show or storyline or episode is written. We'll all be seen. And that will be absolutely fantastic.

[bigenderdyke]

molding day :3

help a butch out 😵‍💫

[spinnysocks]

funny how i used to think i shouldn't identify with any obscure, overly specific gender identity or sexuality bc no one would understand but that's kind of. the point. now i WANT to see people cry when i tell them the full extent of my identity which is literally just my human experience. wahh wah wah i defy societal expectations in every way possible what ya gonna do

[ofallthewires]

it's so annoying coming across "men dni" so often. like im not fully a man, i dont want to be seen only as a man, but that's still an important part of me i refuse to deny or downplay. it's so isolating as a genderweird butch.

[thefishdeath]

Never feel more masc then the times I try to look fem

[butchism-radium]

finally got my name and sex marker legally changed to my real name and and not my Deadname and it feels like for the first time i can breathe. all the shame and hatred of having to sign and tell people my Deadname whenever it legally mattered is gone. i feel like a real person instead of a joke. i feel like me instead of just performing someone pretending to be me. i feel confident. today is a great day

[alex-just-vibing]

one thing me and my older sibling agree on is that there is no way miya is cis

like look. this is a gender crisis just waiting to happen.

[hopefullystillliving]

You ever get lulled into a false sense of security during the first two thirds of a kid's movie that's good with a serious plot but mostly a pretty fun time, only to have the entire final third tear your heart out, chew it up and spit it out, crush it into even finer paste beneath its heel, and add the fine powder your ribs have been turned into by the sledgehammer it whammed you with as a seasoning?

Anyway Nimona was great, 10/10 would recommend, I was crying on and off for what probably totaled 20 minutes of tears.

[leota-nexus]

Alright so @shopwitchvamp 's latest tarot video reminded me that it's alright to have an overwhelming amount of random-ass passions in life. A tamagotchi + a couple tarot cards called my ass out to get outta my own damn way & enjoy the things I genuinely want to do! Can't argue with that so I treated myself to some selfies in my Mystic Flame skirt + scalemaile synth* prototype my partner & I made a few years back 🖤

*not actually plugged in to anything here but I haven't worn it in years! It's called The Storyteller's Gauntlet as it would trigger sound effects both intentionally from specific scales & randomly as you moved organically. These sounds included crows & ravens, howling wind, babbling brooks, armored footsteps on gravel, swordfights, & draconic fireballs plus the resulting crackling flames on the battlefield 💖🔥🐲💙

[ghoul-butch]

.

[acediamelody]

THEIR HATE IS STRONG BUT TRANS JOY IS STRONGER

RAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH

[acidhued]

i know butchbear is a thing but is futchbear a thing.. that might be me

[bigenderdyke]

need to have a slut on their knees rn 😵‍💫

Help a butch out! I recently started school again, and the fees, on top of the cost of living, are, as we all know, way too much. Anything would be lovely, thanks yall xx