#i love being feminine-presenting and having masculine-oriented attraction
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gloriousmishaps · 2 months ago
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i love being queer in the least aesthetic way possible. i love being queer in the kind of way that makes other queer people hate me ❤️
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thesweetestdevotion · 2 months ago
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hi can you do a reading on bts jimin as a boyfriend and husband?
hi! i love bts! lets get into it!
BTS Jimin as a Boyfriend/Husband:
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As a Boyfriend:
Dice: 3rd House, Cancer, Moon
Tarot: Seven of Wands, Temperance Reversed, Ten of Wands, The Hierophant, Nine of Cups Reversed, The Moons, The Lover
I see that Jimin is the type of boyfriend that is very loving and nurturing. His dice tell me he's very in tune with his partner's emotions and loves to regularly communicate with them. He could be attracted to people who are close to home, or someone who shares traits that are similar to what he grew up around. He's a nurturing person, maybe he has cancer placements. Or he's attracted to people who have cancer energy. However, i think he might be the type to hide things from his partner. Im not getting anything negative here, but he's the type to want to keep the peace at all costs and this can cause him to bottle up his emotions in an unhealthy way. He seems to already have many burdens outside of his relationships and this affects how hes able to express himself within them. He's very unbalanced in many ways. Right now i keep hearing the lyrics: " I could use a break... Sit around and wait... better days, better days". I don't know that song tbh, but its buzzing in my ear atm. Maybe he constantly feels overwhelmed and has to shoulder many burdens. I think this can lead him to lash out at his partner if he's not able to unload these feelings properly. He wants to keep a facade of perfection around his partner (the moon is illusions, hidden things as well) but this is impossible to achieve for anyone so it often crumbles apart in his hands, leaving him heartbroken. This obsession with maintaining an impeccable image for everyone around him takes a lot of work and energy, and he's often left depleted (aww). He's not a bad person at all! in fact he's extremely relationship oriented, but if he feels unbalanced and insecure in himself its difficult for him to navigate them. He may also prefer traditional dynamics and likes to be in a masculine role, I sense he likes his partner to rely on him but he doesnt want to rely upon others! He sort of longs to prove himself as a man in a very orthodox way, to the point its a bit much and not needed. Due to this, he may try to quash down his naturally "feminine" traits to the point it's harmful for him and others around him as it is ideal to have both energies within oneself. With so much moon energy he's very succeptible to absorbing the energies of his environment, thus leading to more inbalance in him.
As a Husband:
Dice: 9th House, Jupiter, Sagittarius
Tarot: Queen of Swords Reversed, Queen of Wands, The Tower Reversed, Five of Swords Reversed, The Empress, Eight of Coins, Ten of Coins
Okay, for him as a husband, I see he's a lot more in tune with himself. In fact, that whole vibe of keeping his emotions hidden dissolves away. I think marriage gives him the role he really longs for. He looovess being a husband, it comes so easy to him. Jupiter traditionally rules the husband in astrology, and the 9th house can also talk about marriage. I think that although he tends to like people close to home, he might be feel comfortable by marrying outside his culture. Again, I feel he really feels comfortable in these traditional dynamics, so having the role of "husband" allows him the space to be himself. Even if being himself is not necessarily traditional either! He likes the nominative role marriage gives him, its almost like now that he is fulfilling a specific role in society people are less likely to judge or question his presentation. I think hes experienced a lot of people assume things about his gender expression, and he doesnt like to live by other peoples expectations, but he also realizes that society judges him anyway. Being a husband affords him some "protection" from the judging gaze of society. Its sort of like "look! im doing what is "normal", so leave me and my spouse alone!!" i really do get the feeling he's been judged very harshly, especially at a young age (If he marries into a different culture, he'd feel a lot relief from this) He internalized all of these feelings within, which led him to that whole cycle of trying to bottle things up to keep the peace and not rock the boat too much. But in a marriage, especially with a spouse who he feels a very intense sense of comfort with, he feels free to express who he is. Hes able to intergrate the two sides of his personality and be free, hes also more open with his words hehe to the point people might perceive him as being harsh towards his partner. It truly comes down to him being able to express all the things he bottles up, so he lets it all out! He loves family life, and loves to work and work to support a family. I think he enjoys seeing his spouse/family enjoy the fruits of his labor. He also likes a fiery type of person, because he's also like that in many ways. With the empress, there is the sense he does want to start a family at some point, though i dont feel a rush to do so. He's down if and when his spouse is down. He's also willing to work on keeping the romance, intimacy, and fire of a relationship going at all times, he doesnt like stangancy in that way. so sweet hehe
hope you guys like this!! <3
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thermodynamic-comedian · 2 years ago
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markiplier lore is queer: an essay by me.
dedicated to @system32-cleanmgr <2
so, to start things off, i wanna talk about the gender of it all. because of the gender ambiguity of the viewer insert in almost every markiplier lore video, the universe now has at least three canonical non-binary characters who go by they/them pronouns (wether these characters are all the same character, different characters, or kind of the same character is unknown).
but that's not where the gender fuckery of the better mcu ends. you see, there's also the (subtextual and mostly ignored, yes, but still relevant) overall gender fuckery of darkiplier's character. because, while they present male, they are still in some ways a combination of celine and damien, two people of opposite genders (not to mention the fact that they exist inside the body of the viewer from who killed markiplier, who's one of the formerly mentioned non-binary characters). so, while not explicit representation, i personally like to think of darkiplier as some flavor of genderfluid.
i also feel like damien and celine's specific gender expressions themselves affect darkiplier in some ways: while they're both (presumably) cis, the two still have very distinct ways of performing their respective gender identities. damien portrays a softer version of masculinity, whereas celine shows a slightly harsher femininity than what we're used to seeing in media. he's a bit clueless and sees things from an emotional, human perspective, and she's clearly used to being the rational, fast-paced one, always trying to find solutions. this dynamic might have something to do with them being siblings (and i'm assuming celine's the older of the two, purely because of all the talk of 'keeping damien safe'), and it's not inherently queer, but it is interesting to me that these characters have such specific ways of acting out their genders.
now, this one's not as important, but i would also like to mention the casual usage of they/them pronouns for other characters as well. in in space with markiplier: part 2, mark explicitly refers to the character of lady by they/them pronouns multiple times (this could also be either because they're an alien and mark doesn't know how they identify, or because their actor, lio tipton, is non-binary, but to me, that reads as somewhat solid confirmation that the character goes by they/them pronouns), and mark himself is referred to as "they" by the narrator at least once.
this isn't really a gender identity thing, but rather a gender expression thing, but i do also wanna talk about wilford warfstache and his gender non-conformativity. i do think he identifies as male, all things considered, but he doesn't seem the least bit interested in masculinity as a concept, favouring traditionally (i say traditionally, but i do mean societally, since pink used to be considered a boy color) feminine colors like pink and yellow, and being more than open to expressing his feelings and encouraging other characters to do the same.
now i'm gonna get into the sexualities. how are queer sexualities portrayed in markiplier lore?
well, that's a hard question to answer; no character has ever been (as far as i know) specifically stated to be of any sexual orientation. although there is a high possibility that wilford is pansexual, since he was clearly in love with celine, but it's implied he doesn't really care about the gender of whomever he happens to be romantically or sexually involved with at the time (i.e. him casually asking abe if they used to date, because that really is a possibility).
aside from wilford, because of the ambiguous gender of the viewer insert, a lot of characters end up being inadvertedly queer because of their attraction to them, most of them most likely falling on the m-spec.
there's also something to be said about abe the detective. is he gay or not? well, again, nothing's canon, but i think it's safe to assume he isn't straight. the "accidental" homoerotic innuendos he makes constantly seem less like a joke about being gay, and more like a joke about having repressed, sexual thoughts about someone, and having those thoughts emerge as those kinds of comments.
the "would anyone like to join me?" comment might just be will making fun of him, but i can't find it in myself to think actor mark is straight either. i guess it's just a headcanon, but let's be honest, he's every 'subtly' queer-coded old cartoon villain ever. he's rich, dramatic, petty, and vain, and frankly sometimes being evil and queer is just a fact of life.
but i'm not gonna go further into my headcanons on here, lest this post turn into a list instead of an essay, so i'll just wrap it up here. thanks for listening to my ramble.
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1yyyyyy1 · 8 months ago
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What exactly is feminine and masculine energy acc to u and is it something simply inherent to the person? and not really a set of behaviors that are learned (and then fall in either of these labels)?
I do believe that "feminine" and "masculine" energies are a thing and are inherently presented in people to a polarizing degree, they are not related to biological sex and represent a specific way people approach the world in. Feminine energy is the energy of creation from within (internal regulation) and masculine energy is the energy of creation from outside of oneself (the material plane). I call them "yin" and "yang" to make more sense of these terms because, like I mentioned, they have little to do with biological sex or gendered presentation.
What I mean by these energies being represented to a "polarizing degree" is that different people will be born as and "specialize" in one or the other energy, as in, some people will be more "in their head" and introspective, favoring things like psychology and arts, and some people will be more business-oriented and enjoy material goods and physical labor, or, to directly influence the outside world. Despite the common idea that "feminine energy" is some kind of inaction, being and embodying it is not about "not doing anything" — on the contrary, it is about doing quite a bit, the process is just not visible to the naked eye and only gets externalized at certain points in time, like when I sit down to write down my findings after weeks of internal labor. It is true that embodying feminine energy attracts and provides you with the things you desire and I genuinely cannot elaborate more on this because, in my opinion, it is something you have to experience for yourself to fully believe in it being a thing because that is the only foolproof way to dissolve skepticism when it comes to metaphysics.
In regards to my latest post on energies and receptivity... Knowing that feminine energy attracts the desired outcome when a person is simply being themselves, women insisting that the main way to actualize it is by initiating near-transactional contact with men would seem counterintuitive seeing that the principle itself allows for a state of no-contact, like being engrossed in your hobbies, and the truth is that there is no contradiction between LOA's principles and heterosexual dynamics being the way that they are. I generally encourage people to look at the lifestyles of those who have a good grasp on LOA to understand that these people's market-like attitude towards relationships and the universe is not contradictory, like with rich women showing off their bodies to intimidate their rivals and keep "options" coming well into their marriage, that is the kind of lifestyle they wish to live for personal reasons and women consistently finding themselves in materialistic, superficial relationships points at just that. Women are in general rarely aware of the fact that they love the drama of hypergamy and that a lot of the time they take on a "masculinized", cutthroat approach to relationships because they like competition and the feeling of being the exceptional collectible item they have built themselves up to be, especially if it involves a man with an extensive dating history which in turn validates their "price tag" to themselves. In other words, women subconsciously manifest being in their masculine when it comes to actualizing their femininity and they fail to recognize that they have shifted the paradigm because they appear feminine both to the world and themselves, meaning that their advice is useless to those who wish to actualize theirs without turning it into a marketing strategy. This competitive mindset inherently puts the individual in a high-pressure environment and disconnects them from their empathetic side at the cost of improving their marketing capabilities, and a lot of the time women, in acknowledging that women's rejection of femininity oftentimes stems from trauma, act as if said traumatized women are completely unreasonable for continuing to live that way and pressure them into believing that their only way to actualize their potential is through interacting with those they know to be a danger to themselves. Dressing up and going on a date so that the man you are with gains status from being in your company is a masculine act because it is an externalized, premeditated exchange, which is why many "divine feminine" coaches can come across as competitive, abrasive and in general appear as if something is "off" about them — they are businesswomen operating in their masculine and cultivating a feminine appearance is their part of that business exchange.
It always seems pretty pointless to me to be calling people out without proposing an alternative solution, otherwise I would be admitting that I am powerless to change anything and am complaining for the sake of it, but, from my experience, feminine energy has little to do with men to begin with and is, rather, the imaginative component of LOA. The metaphysical principle behind attracting your desires is that the universe responds to your vibration when you think about and visualize things, with said vibration being elevated through cultivating peace inside and around yourself, and that you get rewarded more and more profoundly the higher your vibration is, but the more believable way to view this phenomenon is that embodying feminine energy is about being in tune with your intuition and not second-guessing yourself when opportunities come your way. This comes down to knowing who and what you are, what and what does not serve you and which opportunities will benefit you if you are to pursue the elevation your own well-being — and if this sounds like an easy task that could not possibly bring that much prosperity, I want to ask anyone who is reading this just how often they doubt themselves because I know that I rarely do.
I believe that I have attracted numerous things by simply curating my blog, and by "attracted" I mean "was handed in for no apparent reason in circumstances unrelated to my blog"; me sharing my writing is the "embodying" part of "being and not doing", that is, my blog is me being myself because a person who figures out how to improve people's and their own mental well-being and recites their findings in an accessible format is what I am. It is a stark contrast between seeking out public spaces or navigating the dating scene, which I personally do not appreciate because that is how you come in contact with too many unsavory people; and I do believe in attracting a partner energetically more so than direct effort in case anyone is wondering... The universe will always reward you when you are a "feminine energy" doing your "feminine energy" thing and there is no need to debase yourself by entering the heterosexual rat race for a chance at a sponsorship if it goes against your convictions, especially given the fact that you would have to be in your masculine for quite a while to achieve that. Again, cultivating feminine mannerisms and appearance for the sake of receiving goods from a man is a masculine act because it is an externalized business partnership.
Another misconception heterosexuals like to promote to validate their sadomasochistic dynamics is that men are the only sex capable of sensibility and leadership because they are supposedly not as emotional and that "logic" equals "reason" when that is far from being the case. Masculine energy being the "logical" one means is that it is predisposed to operating in the material world as opposed to internally, and while it is beneficial for actually tackling material matters, it is a mistake to assume that the only sensible decisions to be made are the ones that are void of emotion because reason is made up of both intuition and logic. For example, a person could take their surroundings into account and discern that being racist in certain circles will give them money and status (logic), but if they are not in tune with their emotions and are not aware of their sympathetic nature (intuition), they will suffer for this decision long-term and the distress experienced will cancel out any material benefit gained. This alone should give you a decent understanding of why neither thinking pattern is better than the other and that people being attuned to their emotions says nothing about their decision-making capabilities.
All of the above can sound a bit controversial because it goes against the common conception of what "feminine" and "masculine" energies are, and it can be intimidating to entertain the idea that you could in fact not need anyone but yourself because it is quite easy for society to convince men and women that they "need" each other without taking additional factors into account, like most people being sexually abusive, egotistical scum that only ever concerns itself with materialistic power struggles and drama and that relationships as of right now present a high risk of traumatization when entered, making self-reliance a very valid choice. The good news is that you do not have to listen to me and can always turn to the people who talk about the complete opposite of what is being said here to see if their advice works for you.
To conclude, you do not "need" a masculine partner if you are feminine and you do not "need" a feminine partner if you are masculine, and anyone who tries to convince you otherwise is a predator because they are attempting to manipulate your boundaries by forcing you to operate from a state of lack. Feminine and masculine energies are certainly complimentary, it is why both of them are represented in all people, even if to a different degree, and an individual's goal should genuinely be mastering both of them for their greater good instead of despairing over the idea that they are ought to be dependent on someone else for the rest of their life. While cooperation is important, I am less interested in promoting codependency and more in willing consent into existence.... It is possible to cultivate a balance between these two energies to harmoniously exist by yourself as a person if that is what you want out of life.
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ae-azile · 9 months ago
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In your latest Progression chapter I loved how Namphueng did the cake announcing her sexual identity. It was such great idea and now I wonder what other characters would make as the same cake? What are others sexualities/sexual identities? Do they identify somehow other than gay? Kinn and Chay are gays but what about others? Is Porsche bi or pan? What about Tankhun and Arm? Also Kim expressed somehow being genderfluid and he is definitely demisexual or grey asexual. I think it would be extremely interesting for all of them to have some kind of discussion like that.
Namphueng loved her cake too LOL. She was very proud of it. I spent a while thinking of how the cake would look. While I couldn't find a cake that described what I wanted her to do, I did look up some reference pics for inspiration. Here are several that kind of fit some aspects of the style!
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If you mix the aspects of these cakes all together, you sort of get what Namphueng accomplished. Girl worked HARD. It was so important to her because:
1. She remembers her first love, or at least bits and pieces. She remembers loving her deeply. I think creating a cake so elaborate and more suited for a small wedding was her way of committing to her true self, along with finding the woman she loved and clearly still loves.
2. She may have struggled with being her true self or being open about her relationship first time around. She isn't doing it anymore because every bit of her autonomy and happiness was kept from her.
So, yes! In Progression, Namphueng very much identifies as a lesbian. As for the other characters, some are probably up for interpretation, but I guess this is how I view them (at least for this fic).
Kim: I also see him as demisexual or sex positive ace. I think he is enjoying sex with Chay. A LOT. But he can only come to enjoy sex if he is in love with and feels comfortable with the person he is sleeping with. Since he struggles with being so guarded, Chay is his first. I think his romantic orientation is likely panromantic, but his trauma and seeing so many people in his family get hurt/killed likely made him push the idea of romance away for a long time.
As for the potential for him being gender fluid, I don't think it is something he feels like he needs to find a label for, but wouldn't deny it if asked. I think he does certain things and presents himself in a way that feels right. He likely leans towards more masculine presentations, but likes light makeup on occasion, doesn't align with overt masculinity or societal expectations for men, etc. I think he also likes looking good for himself, and sometimes looking softer and slightly more feminine is something that appeals to him.
Overall, I believe he struggles with labels for multiple reasons. He doesn't like following traditional or strict expectations, nor is he great at communicating clearly (although he is getting a lot better). I think he also falls into this limbo in between labels, so he doesn't know what to make of it. He struggles with seeing himself as asexual (especially now) since he is having a very enjoyable sex life with Chay. He should probably should look into demisexual. I think it will be something that eventually comes up, even though he doesn't feel a NEED to find a label. However, an explanation and a sense of knowing he isn't the only one may help. 🙂
Porsche: I think he is probably pan, but could also be bi. Episode 8 showed him express minor anxiety over dating a guy, although I don't know if it was the emotional or physical aspect that worried him more. Regardless, I tend to categorize him a little more as pan since that tends to take a meaning of "experiences sexual attraction regardless of gender". However, I also see him as demiromantic.
Khun: Despite his and Kim's personalities being extremely different, I also see him as demisexual, panromantic. Part of his demisexuality likely stems from immense trauma since he needs to be with someone who understands him and he's comfortable with, but I don't think the gender of that person matters. In fics, I often mention him having a girlfriend prior to his kidnapping. I believe I did in this fic too. Now, he's very much in love with Arm. And like Kim, he also might be gender fluid, but doesn't over think it and just does what feels right.
Arm: He's a hard one, but he could be demisexual too, and he may lean towards homoromantic. That isn't to say he doesn't like to be seductive though. He takes his shirt off when drunk for a reason. However, I do think he was repressing a lot of desires until he became more comfortable with Khun. So yeah, maybe demisexual/homoromantic.
Pol: He says he's straight! But I also think he is a guy who needs and deserves a lot of love. I don't see him hooking up with just any woman or being in a FWB situation. He is probably heteroromantic, but does find a lot of satisfaction in platonic love too.
Vegas: gay, but demiromantic.
Pete: demisexual, biromantic
Macau: He's saying he's straight in this fic, but I don't see him sleeping around like his brother likely used to.
Kinn and Chay : gay and gay
Milan's sexual and romantic orientation will also become more clear in flashbacks as well.
Thank you for the ask! 🩵
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our-neuroqueer-experience · 10 months ago
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being autistic has definitely affected how i view and understand gender, in the way that i don't understand it all lol. i can view and to an extent understand other people's gender, but what the heck is mine?? i've gone through so many labels, and i still go by about 4 or 5 that i feel describe my gender altogether, but still... what is it? i may never know, and i can be content with that, but it can be such an isolating feeling sometimes when others seem so confident and sure! this is coming from someone who's transmasc but presenting "feminine" or "tomboyish". i've always felt that i want to present myself as a weird, oddly specific combination of neutral and masculine, but parts of my gender feel feminine too(and i'm also just not ready to change my appearance too drastically lol, thanks to the crippling unreadiness of change). it's so complex that i don't even know if everyone feels a little bit like that. forget gender, trying to understand how i want to present myself is hard too!
i know this is a neurogender blog but being autistic has definitely impacted my view of attraction, romance and sexuality as well. that's even harder to understand than gender and presentation!!!
so, i'm neuroqueer :) i'm happy to be, i'm proud of who i am! just, sometimes, i wish it was a lot easier. i wish it all came with a manual, because it's all so confusing!
but i still loving being me. i'll figure it all out, and if you're in a similar position, you will too! it's taken me about 4 years to get to this point, and i feel more comfortable and happy than ever, so it's only up from here! <3
hello again 🐊 anon! yeah! i totally identify with neuroqueer as well, because being neurodivergent in a world where all of the emotions/internal perceptions are defined and generally understood through a neurotypical lens makes it hard to understand them (not to mention the alexithymia!). i've basically taken a break from trying to figure myself out because gender and orientation is confusing and i just don't have the spoons, lol.
"i've gone through so many labels, and i still go by about 4 or 5 that i feel describe my gender altogether" yEAH, me too /pos. i identify with some well-known ones and a few rather obscure ones because they seem to fit, but i'm always a little unsure, lol.
if all of this came with a manual it would be my comfort book tbh. i'm really glad that you're happy and comfortable with who you are, and i'm hopeful that everyone who's been where you were (where i am, lol) can one day be content with their identities too /gen
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wtowingedtragicobsidian · 10 months ago
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BDS Gender & Orientation HCs pt2 PM
~if a character/commentary is not included I’m just assuming they’re cis/straight~
Akutagawa:
Orientation:|Gay, Demiromantic| Doesn’t get romantically attached to people, with a few notable exceptions. He has never looked upon a woman with lust in his life and genuinely doesn’t understand the appeal (lol). He does understands the appeal of men but his fear of physical vulnerability tends to negate him acting on it.
Higuchi:
Orientation: |Bi| The Akutagawa’s were her bi awakening.
Chuuya:
Orientation: |Gay| Exclusively likes men. He was self-conscious about it (possibly with some self-loathing) when he was younger but then he met Albatross and the Flags, and they assured him it was cool (half of them were queer anyway). Since then, he’s been secure in his identity, but keeps pretty quiet about it as he’s a very internally guarded person who likes to keep his personal life private. Still, he won’t compromise for others’ comfort and can be quite outspoken if somebody’s making unsavory remarks—regardless of if they’re directed at him or not.
*Chuuya has a soft spot for the younger queer kids in the mafia and tries to subtly wingman for them. He’s like a brother figure to a lot of them and is more than willing to talk with them about their identity or offer comfort, regardless of how close they might be. (yes, in his own way he’s trying to pay forward what the Flags did for him.)
Tachihara:
Orientation: |Queer(pan)| Had never really given sexuality much thought and just assumed he was straight—and then he met Gin and was like ‘oh, guess not’. Since then, he has been more in touch with his sense of attraction.
Gin:
Gender: |Genderfluid, Demigirl| Mostly use neutral forms of expression/address, however, for as much gender euphoria that causes, they do get a bit antsy if they haven’t been able to express either of the binaries for a while. Conveniently their work/life balance lets them express their gender with relative ease, presenting femininely (and using feminine or neutral pronouns, though feminine is more common) while off work—and conversely presenting masculinely/androgynously while a work (and using neutral and masculine pronouns, though neutral ones are generally preferred). She doesn’t tell many people about her gender and often lets them assume —usually enjoying the mixed results and ambiguity—unless they are very close with her (so the Black Lizards and her brother know).
Mori: (When I was writing this, I told myself I wasn’t going to touch this one, but then I stared at his hairline too long and realized he would be wilding more interesting—to me specifically—if he was ace, so-)
Orientation: |Asexual, Demiromantic| Fascinated with sex and human sexuality to an almost fetishistic degree and is more than willing to exploit/abuse those attachments in others—he likes to watch the fallout and sadistically enjoys the exertion of his power. BUT, he doesn’t feel that kind of attraction himself, which may be a contributing factor to why he’s so interested in it.
He does, however rarely, feel romantic attraction. He’s had one(1) notable crush and its fucked with him ever since.
Kouyou:
Orientation: |Bisexual-sapphic| Despite (in the strictest sense of the term) being bi, she only entertains advances from women and will identify as lesbian if asked. She did have a notable romance with a man in her youth and while it was genuine attraction, it burned her forever—since then she has shunned the romantic advances of men. After that formative heartbreak all her entanglements have been sapphic in nature, but she’s still very wary of romance and ‘love’, so they have been few and far between; mostly consisting of short lived situationships.
Q:
Gender:|Nonbinary| Uses neutral pronouns. They get a right kick watching people fumble to trying to figure out how to categorize them.
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guardian-of-gotham · 7 months ago
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//Filled out a questionnaire by my lovely mutual, Kirby, earlier in my hiatus, and I finally decided to post it. Also, there are NSFW themes in the Sexuality section. I've colored milder answers in orange and more potentially uncomfortable ones in red.
-- Appearance
001. Do they have any scars?
Yes, several. Most from before the Batsuit actually served as armor, when his dealings with Gotham's mobs saw him stabbed and shot repeatedly. And yet it still took a kid insisting on joining him for him to realize he should sacrifice some mobility for a more durable fabric.
002. Do they have any tattoos/piercings?
No.
003. What is their natural eye color?
Steely blue.
004. Do they wear contacts to change their eye color?
Not unless in disguise.
005. What is their natural hair color?
Black.
006. Do they dye their hair?
Not unless in disguise, and a wig is not an option.
007. Do they keep their hair long, short, or in between?
He's had the same short, combed back side part since he was a child.
008. What does their clothing style look like?
He dresses as formally as appropriate on any occasion. If he's going for a real casual look, he might wear a vest without a jacket or forgo outerwear entirely. No tie and leaving a couple buttons open at the top of his shirt is a popular go-to for a particularly laid-back date night.
009. Do they dress in “the norm” for their gender presentation?
Kind of? He dresses more formally than most men, and there are some common items of clothing he never wears, but his outfits are all still masculine, even if they sometimes get a bit too fancy to be considered normal. Also, he wouldn't be entirely opposed to wearing more feminine clothing if it was part of a disguise he knew he could pull off or if a partner expressed interest in seeing him in a particular garment/outfit.
010. Do they wear any kind of make-up?
Not usually, but he has used it for certain disguises, to help hide injuries, and when necessary for media and/or public appearances.
011. Are they invested in their physical appearance?
He tries his best to look presentable as Bruce Wayne and intimidating as Batman, but if those qualities weren't necessary for his goals, he probably wouldn't care much. His monetary investment in his appearance is pretty substantial, though, mostly due to extensive efforts to minimize his scars as much as possible to avoid suspicion towards his secret identity.
-- Identity
012. What is their gender identity and sexual orientation?
Cis male and demibisexual/romantic.
013. What is their relation to their gender identity and sexual orientation?
He's never questioned either and still thinks he's straight (by default). Given his place on the ace/aro spectrum, it's already difficult enough for him to form and realize attraction to others, and his stubbornness leads him to deny his feelings longer still, so he's never really needed or been presented with the opportunity to wonder if his interests go beyond women. Funnily enough, his first crush was on Harvey Dent in college, but it was also his first time experiencing real friendship, and he's so emotionally stunted, he didn't realize his feelings went beyond that.
014. What is their relation to their ethnicity/heritage?
Bruce was raised in both the Jewish faith and culture and still engages in the associated traditions despite now being disconnected from the spiritual aspects of his upbringing. There were some mild Christian influences from his father, who belonged to the Episcopal Church before his relationship with Martha, but those had much less of an impact on his life than the strong family values and emphasis on making the world a better place. "Tikkun olam" may as well be his life motto.
015. How do they feel about their nationality, current or of origin?
Having been born and raised in the U.S., he can appreciate some of the ideals behind the country's founding and the independent spirit it can inspire in people. However, he is also aware of just how deep corruption runs through every system currently in place, those in Gotham being some of the worst examples. To say that he loves his country in its current state might be a bit of a stretch, but he does care about the people living in it and does his best to play his part in its eventual improvement.
016. What family members had the most impact on them?
Considering his parents both instilled his current ideals in him and set him on his current path through their deaths, probably them. Although, he never would've gotten this far if not for the support and influence of his butler, and essentially, second father, Alfred.
017. What is their relationship with their family?
He does his best to love and protect every last person in his family, blood relation to them an unimportant factor, but he would never ask the same of them. As far as he's concerned, they would all be better off without him, and their continued association with him only increases the likelihood of their death. Any apparent distance he might place between himself and them is simply him trying to prevent that outcome.
018. Do they connect with their sense of self or reject it?
He sees himself as a tool, a necessary evil to help others. Any moments of self-discovery or humanizing experiences, regardless of if he's eventually appreciated them or not, have happened against his will.
019. Is their sense of self tied to another person or thing?
Very much so. As stated previously, he has built his entire life around aiding others. He sees no point to his existence otherwise. Honestly, he doesn't even know who he is anymore. Bruce Wayne pretty much died the same night his parents did, Batman is a purpose, not a person, and even the moments in his life where he feels the most real and alive only occur because of the people he's grown to love.
020. What does their morality look like?
He is intent on making the world a better place through self-sacrifice and systemic change. He unfortunately has found it necessary to hurt people to stop them from hurting others, but he refuses to kill, because he doesn't believe in any one person having the power to end another's life, and he believes that when people seen as heroes kill, it can corrupt their mission and/or inspire more malicious forces to pose as heroes and take advantage of people's trust in them to carry out harm on a mass scale.
021. What other names are they known by? 
Batman, Bats, The Bat, The Dark Knight, B, Brucie, Brucie Boy, Brucie Baby, Bruce Old Boy, Mr. Wayne, Dad, Father, Baba, Spooky, and more.
022. Do they know any languages besides their birth tongue?
English, French, Spanish, Russian, Japanese, Mandarin, Cantonese, Filipino, Korean, Arabic, Turkish, Polish, German, Latin, Greek, Italian, Portuguese, Hebrew, Thai, Vietnamese, Kryptonian, Swedish, Swahili, and Kasnian. Possibly more.
023. What religion were they raised in, if any?
Judaism.
024. Are they religious at present?
No. He's seen too many unbelievable things to completely discount the idea that everything he was taught in his youth was true, but there seems to be no explicit evidence supporting its existence either. Regardless, he still engages with the cultural aspects of Judaism and lives by the ideals instilled in him, holding the belief that faith in an otherworldly being isn't necessary to uphold family traditions or to be a decent person.
025. Do they hold to any superstitions?
Only if they've proven to be true, at which point, they can no longer be considered superstitions.
-- Health
026. Do they need glasses?
No.
027. What mental conditions do they have?
Autism, PTSD, C-PTSD, and Dysthymia (a.k.a. Persistent Depressive Disorder).
028. What physical conditions do they have?
Other than a plethora of scars, none at present.
029. Do they have any allergies?
No.
030. What notable injuries and/or illnesses have they had?
Broken bones, bruises, blood loss, sprained joints, strained muscles, dislocated bones, head trauma, bullet wounds, burns, stab wounds, incisions, temporary hearing loss, temporary loss of vision, temporary death, the common cold, pneumonia, frostbite, radiation poisoning, food poisoning, ingestion of poisons, exposure to fear toxin, Joker venom, Poison Ivy's pollens and pheromones, and various other psychoactive substances, paralysis, comas, hangovers, and many, many more.
031. How diligent are they about their personal hygiene?
When he needs to go out in public, very much so, but he has been known to neglect himself when focused on a particularly frustrating mission.
032. Do they keep up with their medication if they have any?
Alfred makes sure he does whenever necessary, but he does sometimes intentionally skip doses if he finds that the effects interfere with his ability to carry out his work.
033. Are they particularly concerned with staying healthy/clean?
Only to maintain respectability and the ability to fight crime. He doesn't fear death so much as no longer being able to protect others.
-- Symbolism
034. What colors are they related to?
Black as Batman, obviously, and perhaps gold as Bruce Wayne? He would be associated with wealth and extravagance, the color is the same as the champagne often served at his parties, and he is seen by some as a ray of light and symbol of hope in Gotham's dark, corrupt atmosphere.
035. What animals symbolize them?
Other than his clear connection to bats, there are also some parallels between him and a wolf. Both are seen by others as solitary predators despite clearly being pack animals. Plus, the animal's fierce and loyal characteristics are also very present in Bruce's own personality.
036. What plants symbolize them?
From Victorian Floral Code:
Asphodel - Remembered Beyond The Tomb
Red begonia - Dark Thoughts
Bluebell - Constancy
Bittersweet Nightshade - Truth
Box - Stocism
Cedar - Strength; I Live For Thee
Pink carnation - I'll Never Forget You
Cypress - Despair; Mourning
Dogwood - Love Undiminished by Adversity
Eglantine - Poetry; I Wound To Heal
Everlasting - Enduring Remembrance
Fennel - Force; Strength
Adonis Flos - Painful Recollections
Forsythia - Good Nature
Dark Geranium - Melancholy
Gladiolus - Strength of Character
Heliotrope - Devotion
Hyacinth - Sorrow
Ivy - Fidelity
Lavender - Mistrust
Marigold - Grief; Despair
Monkshood - Chivalry
Snowball - Bound
Johnny Jump-Up Viola - Thoughts, Remembrance
Wallflower - Fidelity in Adversity
Water lily - Eloquence; Purity of Heart
Weeping willow - Mourning
037. What celestial bodies symbolize them?
Stars - guidance, hope, and destiny
Comets - change and upheaval
038. What time of day are they most related to?
Night. A time of secrets and darkness. Light still exists; it's just harder to find. So long as there are those who can't rest safely each night, he will make this darkness his home.
039. What is a number or numbers that relate to them?
2. A number of dichotomy and conflict, as well as partners and cooperation. Two parents lost, two identities formed, the dynamic duos that protected him from the harm of self isolation, the two alters at war within his best friend, Harvey Dent, once the white knight to his dark knight, and the minimum number of people he can count on to continue residing at Wayne Manor, as they have since the other two were lost.
040. What elements are they most connected to?
Earth. Grounded, solid, steadfast, and dependable. Rich in resources and the foundation for all continued life.
041. What type of weather are they?
Gloomy and overcast. Melancholy and mundane, he isn't always appreciated and can be a source of misery for some, but to those of an acquired taste, he offers peace and hope, with the promise of a better life to come after putting up with a downpour or two.
042. What season of the year are they?
Fall. A time of death, loss, and change. He sacrifices and sheds parts of himself, so life and hope can begin a new in those around him. Even if he doesn't live to see the eventual spring, he will bear the brunt of the coming winter to leave the world stronger than he left it.
043. What kind of precious material are they?
Diamond. Forged under pressure and difficult to break.
044. What type of music fits them best?
Classical instrumental. Filled with soul and complex emotions, even if often overlooked or misunderstood by others due to a disconnect from those who rely more heavily on verbal communication.
045. What songs are closely tied to them?
Symphony No. 3 by Henryk Górecki, also known as the Symphony of Sorrowful Songs, is a piece that always spoke to something in him, especially after the deaths of his own parents. He might give its name if asked for his favorite song, but to actually hear him listening to it nowadays would likely not be a great sign for his emotional stability in that moment.
-- Preferences
046. What is their favorite food and drink?
Steak and steamed vegetables have always been a reliable go-to, and he wouldn't be able to function without the vast amounts of black coffee he consumes each day. Although, if he were trying to pair the two, red wine would be a better fit for the aforementioned meal.
047. Do they like sports?
Not particularly. He likes engaging in physical activity and appreciates the value sports add to society, but he's not the type of person who needs to keep up with a particular game or team. His priorities lie elsewhere.
048. Do they like hot or cold weather?
Cold. He's used to Gotham's gloom and recognizes the practical truth that it will always be easier to warm oneself than attempt to cool off.
049. How do they feel about animals?
While he appreciates them and finds it himself easily growing to care for them, he does think that there's a limit to how many of them people can personally care for within a single household and hopes Damian's penchant for collecting strays doesn't end up getting out of hand.
050. How do they feel about nature?
It's a precious resource that needs to be protected, but unlike a certain adversary of his, he doesn't believe the loss of human lives is necessary for that protection.
051. Do they prefer science or the humanities?
Personally, science. However, he does believe teaching the humanities to be more important when it comes to fostering a kinder society and making people aware of societal warning signs before true corruption can take root.
052. Are they booksmart or streetsmart?
Mostly booksmart, but he's streetsmart enough to do his job as Batman. He's knowledgeable on how the criminal underworld works and capable of analyzing his enemies' psyches, but there are deficits regarding his social intelligence in general that often get in his way.
053. Are they more comfortable in large crowds, small groups, or totally alone?
While he would likely say alone, he does, in fact, work and feel best when in the company of a few close friends or family.
054. Do they feel more in their element in urban or rural settings?
Urban, but specifically an older, darker version of urban. Places like Metropolis can feel too bright and overwhelming, and they lack the harsher architecture and abundance of hiding spots he's grown used to in Gotham.
055. How do they feel about math and language?
Both are important cornerstones of society, and he's made sure to remain well-versed in each subject.
056. Do they prefer to travel or stay in one place?
Stay in one place. There's a comfort in familiarity, even if Gotham can't exactly be described as comfortable on its own.
057. Are they good about getting out of their comfort zone?
Not really. That may seem hard to believe, given his nighttime activities, but pain and fighting have become commonplace to him. It's much harder to trust others or allow himself to be vulnerable than to face off against increasingly more difficult foes.
058. What’s their sense of humor like?
Dry, sarcastic, and often deadpan. It's sometimes hard to tell that he's joking beyond the sheer ridiculousness of some of his statements.
059. Do they have any special interests?
Justice and social reform.
060. What pieces of media are important to them?
The Gray Ghost and The Mark of Zorro, although, he hasn't seen either in decades. Television and film in general have lost much of their appeal to him since his parents' deaths.
061. What are their pet peeves?
Recklessness, greed, and cowardice shown by people who have others depending on them.
-- Sociabilities
062. Are they more introverted or extroverted?
Introverted, for sure, but he can pretend to be extroverted when he needs to be. He enjoys being around those he cares about, but even then, he prefers to observe them interacting with each other or quietly enjoy their company.
063. Are they paternal in nature?
Given that he has managed to amass a small army of children, several of which were acquired against his will and best efforts, it's safe to say that he's so paternal, it's often to his detriment. He doesn't believe any kid deserves him and the trouble that seems to follow him in their lives, but he will always care for the few that made their way into his life regardless. He also treats kids in general with as much kindness as possible, knowing all too well how frightening and lonely it can be to exist as one.
064. Do they want kids?
Surprisingly, no. He's only adopted kids if he's felt he's been their best and/or only option, which doesn't happen often. He didn't plan to have Damian, and he doesn't plan to willingly bring any more children into his horror show of a life. Of course, that's how he's always felt, so odds don't look great for him actually maintaining that goal any time soon.
065. What level of emotional intelligence do they have?
His emotional intelligence is fairly decent; however, his emotional wisdom and social skills often leave something to be desired. He can understand that he's in distress and needs to care for himself just fine, but that doesn't do him any good if he convinces himself he can handle things alone, believes himself to be undeserving of compassion, and actively refuses to take said care of himself. Likewise, while he can often understand the emotions of those around him, not everyone appreciates some of those emotions being treated as a simple problem he just has to find the solution for.
066. How do they communicate their thoughts and feelings (positive or negative) to others?
He doesn't. He bottles it all up until they push him too far or the occasional feeling dawns on him that he should them know he cares about them. After all, he's very obvious in showing how he feels (in his mind, at least), so why does he need to specifically voice it all the time?
067. What are their love languages out of the classic 5?
Acts of service, gift-giving, and quality time. Physical touch is also a common one for him in romantic relationships, but he doesn't initiate it nearly as often in platonic or familial relationships.
068. What are their love languages not included in the classic 5?
Memorization of small details, protection, avoidance, and sacrifice (up to and including his own life).
069. How strong is their sense of empathy?
Not very. He can be incredibly sympathetic and has his ways of reading people, but unless he can specifically relate to their current situation, he can't actually place himself in their shoes and feel what they're feeling. Even when he can relate to their situation, he moreso taps into his own past feelings than connects with their current ones, which can be counterproductive if they feel differently.
070. Do they allow themself to be vulnerable or keep all at a distance?
He absolutely keeps everyone at a distance, but those patient and persistent enough can definitely break through his walls and witness moments of vulnerability from him despite his best efforts to pretend such vulnerabilities don't exist. Those who pay close enough attention will even realize that the very fact that he allows them to get close means that he's already become vulnerable to them. The only time he doesn't try to hide that, though, is when he truly believes they need a reminder of how much he cares for them.
071. Do they struggle relating to others with foreign experiences?
Very much so, but that doesn't mean he automatically dismisses them. He'll always try to help others in their struggles as long as they aren't harming others. Even then, he's been known to offer words of kindness to those most in society wouldn't seem worthy of such an act. People can't change if never presented with the opportunity or motivation to do so.
072. How quickly are they to give their trust?
What trust? Joking aside though, trust always needs to be earned with Bruce. However, once fully earned and fostered, it's hard to break that trust entirely. He might not trust them in small matters anymore, but he'd likely still trust them with his life if push came to shove.
073. Are they more of an optimist or pessimist?
He would describe himself as more of a realist, but his life experiences have led him to expect the worst more often than not. Despite that, he continues to fight for a world where better expectations might more easily exist.
074. Are their emotions easily influenced by others’?
Only by those he's already started to grow close to. Usually, there are too many walls in place, but once someone's slipped past his defenses, it doesn't take much to have him wrapped around their finger.
-- Romance & Sexuality
075. Do they fall on the aromantic/asexual spectrum?
Definitely. He's demi in both spectrums, requiring an existing emotional connection before developing feelings for or attraction to anyone.
076. Do they want to be married?
Ideally, yes. In practice, it would take a lot to convince him to add yet another potential family member for him to lose into his life, though.
077. What type of features are they attracted to?
Sharp/angular facial features, plush lips, slender builds, toned muscles, broad shoulders, long hair, heights not far below but potentially fairly far above his own, and nice hands
078. What type of personalities are they attracted to?
Passionate, charismatic, mature, strong-willed, kind, and respectful people who are good with children.
079. What type of personalities repulse them/are a turn off?
Rude, violent, manipulative, reckless, egotistical, immature, and/or chauvinistic people unable to take anything seriously.
080. Would they be open to a threesome?
Not unless it was one mind shared between two bodies or one body shared between two minds.
081. Would they be open to a foursome or more?
The previous answer would still stand, but there would be more hesitance for each additional body/mind. More alters/other variations of head mates would be more likely to cause real discomfort than more bodies, though, since each one would technically be a separate partner with their own thoughts and personality. 2 minds might actually be a max for him.
082. Would they be okay with an open relationship?
Not at all. I could see him agreeing to his partner seeing others to keep them happy if he was talked into it, but he wouldn't be able to keep up multiple relationships at once himself, and even sharing his current partner would be very unhealthy for him and would eventually break him to the point of pulling away entirely.
083. Are they polygamous?
Absolutely not, as explained in the previous answer.
084. Are they open about their sexuality (both orientation and general)?
Nope. He doesn't even realize he's on the ace/aro spectrums, much less that he's bi. Even with women, he denies his attraction to them as long as he can and tries to avoid even purely emotional attachment to them, due to his tendency to repress emotions, his lacking romantic experience and his fear of loss. He's also a deeply private person in general and tries to avoid being the focus of a conversation.
085. Are they comfortable with casual sex?
No, he doesn't even feel the need to engage in such acts when not in a relationship. He would have no reason to seek out temporary companionship, and he wouldn't be attracted to anyone without forming a deeper connection to them. He hadn't even had his first kiss before becoming involved with Selina, and his one night stand with Talia was not intended to be so brief on his side of things.
086. How comfortable are they with discussing sexuality in general?
In general, incredibly uncomfortable, but with a (potential) partner, usually the most discomfort he'll feel is some mild shyness or embarrassment.
087. What are their kinks?
Bondage (mostly receiving), dominance (receiving), body worship (giving), sparring/wrestling, sensation play, adrenaline/danger play (only when no real risk/threat exists to deal with or after dealing with something real not brought on by his partner where nobody else could've been hurt), roleplaying (mostly bringing hero/rogue personas into the bedroom, though he's too embarrassed to reveal so without prompting), clothed sex (either both or just his partner), costumes/uniforms (mostly formal attire, business wear, and hero/rogue uniforms), lingerie (on either his partner or himself, but he hasn't been introduced to that second option yet), teasing (mostly receiving), and suspension (mostly receiving).
088. If they could choose, on average, would they prefer slow and sensual or fast and rough?
He definitely prefers to slow down and appreciate things as they occur, but he'll speed up if requested, and he certainly wouldn't have any complaints being treated a little rougher if his partner was the one controlling the pace.
089. Does emotional intimacy play any part in their enjoyment of sex?
Absolutely. He cannot enjoy the act if he isn't physically pleasing a partner he has grown emotionally attached to. He doesn't even tend to himself, though there's generally no need to if he hasn't interacted with such a person recently.
090. How tolerant are they of kinks they don’t have?
It depends on the potential they have to cause harm or illness and how much physical pleasure it would bring his partner. Outside of his own relationships, he doesn't care what people do as long as they're being safe and discreet.
091. Are they more prone to the dominant or submissive role?
Submissive. He can fake being dominant occasionally to please his partners, but it doesn't come naturally to him, and prolonged teasing or pushback would quickly break his resolve.
092. Do they prefer the penetrated (bottom) or penetrating (top) position?
He has no preference, but given that he has only had cis female partners in the past, he is more experienced as a top. Although, he would be uncertain of himself either way at first with a partner who had the same genitalia as him, and until he became more confident in his skill with that type of anatomy, he would likely always make sure they were still stimulated from the front in some way when topping. He also tries to use other forms of stimulation when taking the bottom role with partners lacking the necessary natural anatomy, wanting to make sure their needs are still being met. In any case, constant audible confirmation of his partner's pleasure greatly helps to reassure him and keep his anxieties from interfering.
093. Are they a sadist, masochist, or both?
He's not exactly a masochist persay, but if any pain is going to occur, he would much rather it happen to him. Anything on his end couldn't go beyond gentle love nips, lightly running his nails across skin, or minimal pressure/squeezing applied to certain body parts, and that last one would take a bit of convincing before he was comfortable trying.
094. Do they prefer to give or receive oral sex?
Give. He grows deeply uncomfortable whenever he is doted on in any way unless he is able to return the affection, preferably simultaneously, Even when he's already made sure his partner has had their fill for the time being, having all attention turned on him can still make him tense or squirmy, especially when when unable to at least touch them while it's happening.
-- Misc.
095. Would they be considered “out of touch” with the present day?
In some ways. He doesn't necessarily keep up with the latest trends or what slang is currently in use among the youth of today. In fact, he could easily be described as a product of an older era. However, he is more aware than most of the things that truly matter in life, and people trust him to pay attention to their needs and do his best to fight for necessary changes, when others with his level of power in society often ignore anything that doesn't directly seem to affect them or even make things worse for those less fortunate if it works to their advantage.
096. What are their feelings about recycling?
It's an incredible method for reducing waste, but an individual's efforts to engage in it won't make a difference if the corporations that create most of the world's waste continue not to take any accountability or make any attempts at change themselves.
097. Do they have any grasp of Internet culture?
Basically none. If it could provide insight on a case, he might put in the effort to learn a thing or two, but beyond that, it holds no relevance in his life.
098. What’s their average level of energy?
Probably a 5. Tired and overworked, but he manages to carry on regardless.
099. What are they proud of?
His family, his friends, and people who have chosen to better themselves despite any struggles involved in doing so. He holds no pride for any of his own actions or achievements, though.
100. What do they regret?
Every mistake, real or imagined, that he's ever made, the people that he's failed to save making up the majority of that regret.
101. Do they have any secrets?
...He's Batman.
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find-your-queery · 5 months ago
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Where to start... lived most of my 50 years as a straight female but seemingly from a different planet to most.. not Mars or Venus but somewhere else entirely. Autism strongly in the family but that alough its close that never quite fit me.. then l learned about ADHD (currently starting the diagnosis process, though I'm pretty sure..).
Always been bi-curious (to use an old-fashioned term) and had the odd huge attraction to another woman but have never taken it anywhere. Currently in a long-term straight relationship (with a man, tb clear!) but having major desires to get with a woman. Partner is non amenable, sadly.
Never felt like a woman, always a massive tomboy, but hate sports and violent films, and love shoes, jewelry and shopping...(?) thought my lack of feeling female (was amazed when I got was pregnant - this means I'm actually a human and actually a woman!!) was just my lack of confidence in my looks and ability to do 'female' things. Now I'm not so sure.
Recently, I'm finding my worlds expanding and seriously questioning everything. My two extraordinary, wise offspring are queer (lesbian and non-binary) and on the spectrum. Their generation is amazing. I have learnt so much and been so inspired, but it has left me more than a little confused.
Ive never felt happy on my skin, never quite right. I hated puberty, didnt want any of it. Hate having boobs (except breastfeeding was brilliant). I'm not trans but maybe I'm non-binary? She/her feels fine, feels wierd to change it now, I look female and happy to present feminine sometimes, thought mostly I eschew dresses.. somedays I just feel more comfortable acting as a man. All my childhood idols were men, but maybe that was just growing up in the 80s? I don't want to make a fuss but I feel so massively drawn to the queer community and I just want to understand who I am.
Maybe, ultimately, it doesn't matter. But still, I'd like to know your thoughts..
Unsure whether you want me to analyze for either or both orientation and gender, so I'll go with both!
The terms I can most associate with you in terms of sexuality are Bisexual!
You seem to already know what it means, but for clarification Bisexual people are attracted to two or more genders! Although you said your attraction to women "never went anywhere," your attraction is still very real and very valid! If you still aren't sure however, Bi-curious is still an excellent way to identify, as it means you may be curious about being attracted to more than one gender!
The labels and terms I can most associate with you in terms of gender are Genderfluid, Bigender, and GNC (Gender Non-Conforming)!
Genderfluid people feel different genders at different times! This can fluctuate over a day, week, or sometimes months! Genderfluid people can feel any single gender, mix of genders, or no gender at all at any given time! This label falls under both the Nonbinary and Trans umbrellas.
Bigender is a label that is very related to Genderfluid, in which Bigender people's gender fluctuates, but is a bit more specific in that they typically fluctuate between only two gender identities. This is typically associated with being either male and/or female, but can also be for other identities such as Agender and female, Nonbinary and male, and many other combinations!
GNC (Gender Non-Conforming) is a term for people who present, behave, express themselves, or even have interests in a way that does not fit the gender norm! Examples include a man wearing a skirt, dress, and/or makeup, or a woman wearing a suit or acting in a masculine way!
Other related labels and terms not chosen: transmasc (not chosen due to still having connection to agab [assigned gender at birth]), nonbinary (not chosen due to feeling connections to binary genders)
PLEASE NOTE: Though I did not choose transmasc as one of the main options, you can still be transmasc even with the reasoning you gave for dismissing it! Gender identity, gender presentation, and interests are all different and separate things, and everyone's combinations of such are very different!
- - -
If you disagree with this answer and/or think there is a better label/term that fits the inQueery, that's okay! Kindly let us know so we can learn together!
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datastate · 1 year ago
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orientation hcs. uhhhhhhhh one qtaro plesae. or sara.
LOOKS AT YOU SO, SO SWEETLY <3
Q-TARO B.B. — NON-BINARY (HE/HIM) BISEXUAL
Transmasc non-binary; & since he's multilingual, he primarily uses he/him in English, él/lo in Spanish! Although he doesn't use them for himself, he doesn't mind if others use neopronouns for him!!
Masculinity is, and always has been, very important to him! He generally sees himself in it and values a lot of the casual culture. Only once he transitioned, did he feel comfortable enough to return to messing with his gender presentation as well, and it's because of his friends/partner that he realized his identity was more flexible than he initially believed; he's now confident enough in who he is to grow out his hair (though that is also of cultural significance), and no longer limits his wardrobe to what he thinks will help him "pass"...! It's far more comfortable for him now :]
But! Unfortunately, it was also because of other people that he used to find it incredibly difficult to truly embrace either masculinity or femininity.
When he was younger, he had often overcompensated his masculinity—typically unintentionally, as with his appearance/height indicating the idea he was "brutish" (to his peers), then making any attempts to reassert the baseline "masculinity" he wanted as something redundant and just... try-hard, essentially. It would instead put his insecurity on display, for other teenagers who were similarly struggling to figure out what masculinity meant for them and were still at the point of "I'm not [x]" methods of elimination to find their conclusion.
Excluded from this "ideal" at the risk of being "weak" or supposedly "feminine" were certain types of (healthy) affection. Even among the friends that Q-taro had at this age, conversation would often lead into being far harsher with one another, and they'd disallowed physical shows of affection (which especially hurt him, and would often associate, again, to him trying too hard to be a man when he was "too soft"). Q-taro, through his own experience, knows that physical affection can often help ground people; he prefers having that certainty that he's helping someone he cares about. When it comes to words, especially when they'd set the precedent that any and all conversation was to devolve into insult, he felt especially clumsy with attempting any actual verbal consolation.
(With all of that, Q-taro couldn't properly bond with any of these people... and that lack of secure connection still manifests in how he feels he must impress people, not linger on the negatives or perceived "weakness" (in present-day, taken on a new meaning) for too long, or people will leave him. I will not digress here...)
However! Once he passed exams and reached high school, he managed to find a group of people who he tentatively realized he could be openly affectionate with without having his masculinity questioned. It was difficult at first to open up to other people once he'd lost his "friends" from the past schools he'd gone to, splitting off from them, but this was his chance to start anew. The point at which he realized change was possible, was... actually when he'd hurt one of his closest friends with his words, because he was still accustomed to that sort of humor indicating "closeness" in large groups—it was because of this friend communicating that Q-taro fully realized he didn't even. enjoy doing this either, and that it was an expectation he'd been blindly following. After this point, he worked to convey his genuine, often-caring intentions and found a support system that felt assuring enough to truly be himself with.
...And it's because he now felt loved and could love freely, without needing to suppress any parts of himself, that he finally realized he was gay as well.
Prior to this, he'd dismissed any attraction to men because 1) he was surrounded by boys who were, frankly, wearing away at his self-image and 2) his transness played a large factor in who he felt he was "allowed" to be attracted to, especially before he socially transitioned. However, being given the chance to be considered a "gay man" was largely important to him. (Funnily enough, it was this stark difference in what he'd thought attraction was versus this experience that made him initially think he was solely attracted to men. From lesbian -> straight man -> gay -> bisexual... he's had it all.)
(Also, I couldn't find a good place to put it, but I hc him to be polyamorous as well—although he only has one partner atm in my headcanons :D)
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SARA CHIDOUIN — GENDERFLUID (SHE/E) AROMANTIC
Sara's genderfluidity specifically comes from how much she identifies as a girl on any given day (in essence: rather than shifting between boy or girl, she experiences gender as overlapping circles of "girl" and what'd classify as "nonbinary" (which may be most accurately described as agender, but she doesn't often delve into the particulars of it...)) ... While I don't think she would be able to outright state that she is genderfluid, I do think she does recognize which days she feels "off" even without the vocabulary to fully delve into it.
(& I will mention: her gender, unlike Q-taro's, matters more to her as an individual rather than how it interacts with or is interpreted by other people... while it'd be nice, a lot about her has already been disregarded if it's inconsistent with the person people want to perceive. She's doing this for herself, within the boundaries her parents have set...!)
Regardless of how she is that day, this doesn't usually affect how she presents! Instead, her sense of style is often dependent on her chronic fatigue... ;-;
Sara is accustomed to wearing (semi)formal clothes—especially if she's out in public, it's expected of her to put thought into her appearance. For the most part, she doesn't mind! The only issue comes when she lacks the energy to truly put in the effort required for dressing this way. Surely, she couldn't ask her mother for help with braiding her hair, or her father to help with tying the bow, before she leaves to meet with Ryoko... she's no longer twelve...! This usually results in her wearing "casual clothes" (of which there are few she is allowed to wear outside of the house; most of them are ones that her father used to wear), often involving a blouse with a fancy pattern and plain black pants or skirt so she doesn't have to think much about color-coordination... If it's a cold day (which will also exacerbate pain) and she's low energy, she'll just throw on one of her father's dark coats instead of figuring out a sweater that'd match her fit and keep her sufficiently warm.
On some days, this is fine! But on others, it does bother her quite a bit. While she does lean toward the "practical" side of how she dresses-up, especially with regard to her hair & keeping it out of her face... she'd still like to be composed. It may sound silly, but it's harder for her to keep herself together and in the present if she's not confident in how she looks. It makes her movements feel unsure, more tentative, and she's more prone to selective mutism because of the clash of home/comforting clothes and public perception. It's crossing a boundary for her and how she's allowed to act in public—which is especially stressful without her friends at her side...
More light-heartedly, however...! Though she'd by shy to admit it, she just. plainly, finds a lot of happiness in looking at herself in the mirror and thinking she looks cute. Of course, it's nice to have others say she looks beautiful or handsome or whatever else, but for the most part... she just likes it when she looks pretty. It's the one thing she has for herself, that she feels she's allowed to embrace without needing to act older. Teachers, other students, and even her own family tend to put her on a pedestal of being someone smarter or more mature than her peers, but presenting herself as just... a normal girl, is close to her heart.
A headcanon my friend, Acci/spacefreckle, brought up was that Sara sometimes shares clothes with Ryoko or Jou if they hang out. Usually, it'd be hoodies, sweaters, or jackets that may be mismatched, but even if it's out of the realm of what Sara normally wears, it's still important to her because this is... silly. and fun. and something that also makes her feel loved and free from those presumptions that most people pose upon her otherwise.
Beyond her small interest in fashion, neither Sara nor her family has ever been too restrictive about whether what she's interested in is "traditionally masculine/feminine" or whatever else—she's just following her passions (with some of her father's guidance...), so I'll move on to her aromanticism!
Sara often struggles to connect with other people; in part due to the expectations which follow her, but also because—even with others attempting to get close to her—she isn't entirely sure how to navigate that new friendship. Many of her relationships (platonic or otherwise) are initiated by the other consistently choosing to interact with her and slowly helping her remove those unintentional boundaries. I read Sara as autistic, which also contributes to her being unsure what is appropriate for the different types of relationships in her life... this is especially clear in friendships that have an uncertain depth to them, as is the case with her best friends: Ryoko and Jou.
With Ryoko, it seems clear that she will sometimes pull back if she thinks being genuine with her feelings will cause issue, or simply not say anything if she doesn't think it's relevant. Jou, by contrast, tends to go all-in with a lot of his affection/love for others around him. The dichotomy of these two approaches often leaves Sara at a loss for how she is meant to show how much she cares for them as well.
I personally believe this is particularly what inspires the red-text ending of the miniepisode: Sara's idea that, if she was to fail in detaching herself from Jou to keep him safe, she should've leaned in further to emphasize how much he truly meant to her before death came for them. The first things she thinks of are what is stereotypically romantic and held above friendships—as I interpret it, she does this not because she harbors romantic feelings for Jou, but rather because she was made to believe her pre-existing love was inadequate... something many other people experience, even if they themselves aren't aromantic. It's unfortunately common for friendships to take the "back-burner" when romance crops up.
Despite her present beliefs, however, I do think Sara would find some comfort in not labeling her friendship with either of them because it allows this love to stand on its own without expectation for something "more" ... She considers her relationship with both of them irreplaceable, they're an integral part of who she is today; all that matters to her is that they also agree they have something special and heartwarming. They're the only ones she's ever tried to envision something romantic with, as if it's a step up from being her closest friends, but any of those ideals fail to align with what she truly values in them... if that at all makes sense :P <3
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ask-pride-color-schemes · 2 years ago
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I’ve had a really hard time feeling like any flags simultaneously represent being Demi, Pan, and Versandrogyne.
I’m not really sure what to call this sexuality, but I really like the sound Omnifrogyne
Being an omnifrogyne combines several specific areas of being queer simultaneously. It involves gender identity always being on the fluctuating spectrum of masculine to feminine androgyny and always ultimately identifying as androgynous. Omnifrogynes typically prefer they/them pronouns for sake of ease, but can also be flexible to accept all pronouns. Omnifrogynes aren’t picky about what gender identities or sexual orientations they’re attracted to as long as the person they are attracted to has a beautiful personality. They have flexible sexuality presentation of no specific gender yet somehow is fluid across all genders, they can be into monoamory or polyamory, no preference on partners as long as personalities vibe. Omnifrogynes are the chameleons of the queer community and can participate in almost any type of relationship dynamic. Omnifrogynes are typically widely accepting and understanding and are very open to being flexible in any relationship. If you’ve ever been worried that you might not find a partner that accepts you for you, you should try being with an omnifrogyne because they are a very flexible person and will above all else fall in love with you for your personality. One that seems to be anything you want and accepts anyone, as long as they LOVE your personality. I’ve included 2 variations of this flag that include parts of the versandrogyne, pansexual, and demisexual flags.
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slutsukio · 8 months ago
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⋆˙꒰ SUKI'S ORIGINAL CHARACTERZ .ᐟ ꒱ prior to delving into my ocs, please acknowledge that every character that is presented on my profile are exclusively and personally owned by me. i have placed blood, sweat and tears into these characters, as well as their whole being + making. please do not plagarize + steal my layout, nor my characters.
☆ !? xoxo, yours truly !? ⋆
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⋆˙puanani kalei-ayana mahelona .ᐟᝰ
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꩜ names + etymology. pua's name is rich in cultural depth and significance. puanani is a hawaiian originated name, where pua means "flower" and nani means "beauty", collectively translating to "beautiful flower". kalei-ayana combines hawaiian and polynesian elements, with kalei meaning "the beloved one; the wreath" and ayana likely originating from her grandfathers' polynesian roots, meaning "beautiful blossom; fragrant flower." mahelona is a common hawaiian surname, though its specific meaning isn't easily discerned.
꩜ nicknames. pua, which is used by her immediate family. nani is her typical go-to nickname, since some deem her name as complex.
꩜ family. pua's family embodies a unique tapestry of cultural heritage and diverse passions. her hawaiian mother kaiulani, is a prominent lawyer and social justice activist, fiercely advocating for the rights and well-being of marginalized communities. kaiulani's unwavering dedication to her work reflects her deep-rooted commitment to effecting positive change in society. in contrast, pua's tahitian father, makoa, channels his artistic talents as a tattoo artist, skillfully weaving traditional polynesian motifs and contemporary designs into his work. makoa's intricate tattoos serve as powerful expressions of cultural identity and personal narratives, earning him recognition within the artistic community. pua has two older brothers who each pursue distinct paths. her eldest brother, kai, is a passionate marine biologist, driven by his love for the ocean and commitment to marine conservation. through his research and advocacy efforts, kai strives to protect marine ecosystems and promote sustainable practices. meanwhile, pua's second oldest brother, kanoa, is a senior in college, navigating the complexities of higher education while exploring his interests and aspirations. with a thirst for knowledge and a curiosity about the world, kanoa embraces academic challenges and opportunities for personal growth. despite their differing backgrounds and pursuits, pua's family is bound together by love, mutual respect, and a shared appreciation for their cultural heritage. together, they celebrate their individual accomplishments and support each other through life's challenges, fostering a strong sense of unity and belonging within their family dynamic.
꩜ prns + gender + sexuality. pua embraces the fluidity of her gender identity, welcoming the use of any pronouns but favoring she/they. they express themselves in a balanced mix of feminine and masculine presentations based on mood. puanani identifies as bisexual, attracted to individuals of various genders, with a preference for artistic and creative souls. their inclusive approach to dating centers on genuine connection rather than gender or appearance.
꩜ zodiacs. pua is a capricorn. capricorns are known for their ambitious and determined nature, navigating life with a strong sense of responsibility and practicality. with a sun in capricorn, pua exhibits qualities of ambition, hard work, and discipline. she is a goal-oriented individual who is highly focused on achieving their dreams. capricorns are also known for their reliability and steadfastness. with a moon in cancer, pua's emotional landscape is characterized by sensitivity, nurturing, and a deep connection to their family and home. cancer moons are empathetic, caring, and deeply intuitive, often seeking security and emotional stability in their relationships. pua may be inclined towards nurturing others and creating a sense of comfort and safety in their surroundings. lastly, having a rising sign in sagittarius adds a layer of optimism, enthusiasm, and adventurousness to pua's personality. sagittarius risings are known for their love of exploration, freedom, and philosophical pursuits. pua may have a broad-minded perspective on life and a desire to expand their horizons through travel, education, or new experiences. they may also possess a great sense of humor and enjoy engaging in lively conversations.
꩜ birthdate. january 16, 2003.
꩜ age. 21
꩜ race + ethnicity. puanani is of hapa ethnicity (hawaiian + polynesian). hapa individuals embody a beautiful blend of both hawaiian and polynesian heritage, reflecting the rich cultural diversity of the pacific islands. this unique combination encompasses the vibrant spirit of hawaiian culture, with its deep connection to the land and ocean, as well as the diverse traditions and customs of polynesian peoples spread across the vast expanse of the pacific ocean. from the lush landscapes of hawaii to the scattered islands of polynesia, pua carries within her the rich tapestry of two distinct yet intertwined cultures, each contributing to her identity in unique and meaningful ways.
꩜ languages. english, pidgin english, and tahitian.
꩜ height. 5'4
꩜ eye candy. n/a
꩜ college major. puanani is pursuing her career by attaining her bachelor of fine arts (in dance).
꩜ hobbies. surfing, dancing, traveling, hiking, journaling, stargazing/astronomy, ceramics, crocheting, playing the cello.
꩜ pets. puanani has a sphynx cat that she caters to by herself! his name is jami, and he is just a little kitty (she saw him at the shelter and COULD NOT walk out w/o him).
꩜ music taste. te vaka, katchafire, toots and the maytals, bruno mars, beyoncé, sade, erykah badu, lauryn hill (the miseducation of lauryn hill), mary j. blige, floetry, soul II soul, after 7, space project, cambodian.
꩜ birthplace. in the heart of oahu, hawaii, waipahu stands as a vibrant community, steeped in the rich cultural heritage of the hawaiian islands. nestled amidst the lush landscapes and shimmering shores, waipahu exudes a serene charm that reflects the spirit of aloha. from its historic roots as a sugarcane plantation town to its present-day bustling neighborhoods, waipahu embraces a diverse tapestry of cultures and traditions. the town pulses with the rhythms of polynesian music and dance, echoing the ancient chants of its indigenous ancestors. dominated by the majestic silhouette of the waianae mountains, waipahu is a haven of natural beauty, offering breathtaking vistas and tranquil escapes. its streets are alive with the aroma of traditional hawaiian cuisine and the laughter of families gathering for feasts and celebrations. as the sun dips below the horizon, painting the sky in hues of orange and pink, waipahu's skyline becomes a mesmerizing tableau of lights, illuminating the dreams and aspirations of its resilient community.
꩜ mbti. esfp is a personality type with the extraverted, observant, feeling, and prospecting traits. these people love vibrant experiences, engaging in life eagerly and taking pleasure in discovering the unknown. they can be very social, often encouraging others into shared activities. they get caught up in the excitement of the moment and want everyone else to feel that way too. no other type is as generous with their time and energy when it comes to encouraging others, and no other type does it with such irresistible style.
꩜ personality quirks. she has a deep appreciation for the night sky, often spending hours gazing at the stars and contemplating the mysteries of the universe, hence why she loves astronomy/stargazing so much. pua would also "experiment" with homemade remedies and natural skincare products back in waipahu, using ingredients like coconut oil, kukui nut, and ti leaf to create her own beauty potions. she also likes to wake up EARLY AF, to catch the sun and take photos of it. also, they're such a social butterfly, she literally makes friends wherever she goes.
꩜ personality 101. puanani is vivacious, bold, original, positive, enthusiastic, hands-on, observant, and very outgoing. they are also sensitive, conflict-averse, easily bored, a very poor long-term planner, and unfocused.
꩜ job. pua lives a multifaceted life, working as a social media influencer/blogger (with over 40k+ followers on instagram, and 109k+ on tiktok), while also serving as a part time park ranger. with her sociable nature and love for sharing her experiences, it makes her very well-suited for a social media influecer. with her part time job as a park ranger, falls into her early riser habits and her love for nature. she leads sunrise hikes, stargazing events, and educational programs in natural settings.
꩜ likes. stargazing, astronomy, diy crafts, skincare products, early mornings, photography, thrifting, collecting seashells and rocks, engaging with her social media followers, hiking trails, expressing herself in creative ways (ex. makeup), gardening, gardens, flowers, surfing.
꩜ dislikes. the negative aspects of social media, overly crowded/noisy environments, lack of authenticity, animal cruelty, peer pressure, unnecessary drama, rigid schedules, littering, hypocrites, spending more than 17+ hours on your phone for absolutely NOTHING, cantaloupe, and blueberries
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❁ suki speaking — hi friends!!! i missed u guys, but enjoy pua!!
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burning-thistles-bt · 2 years ago
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i just wanna quickly say that blossom could be genderfluid instead of transfem (? Cant remember which IM SORRY) , just to avoid the idea pbecause badger is attracted to males and not women ? just a suggestion
that was an idea i had! just in general, im not setting anything in stone, i think its more just a funny idea (that might turn serious as most joke ideas do haha). Blossomtail could be transfem, could be genderfluid, could be demi-gender, could be agender, could be intersex, could be drag/cross-dresser, could be femboy, or could just be cisboy doing a silly! who knows! he strikes me as someone whose just having fun anyway haha
but something that does irk me a little is the idea that Blossomtail has to remain at least partially masculine in his gender just so Badgerfang can remain Gay™. Like this is a set rule and Badgerfang's sexuality Absolutely Cannot Change either. if Blossomtail can be a cistom for most of his life but near the end decide he actually might feel more like a she-cat, then Badgerfang could similarly call himself gay for most of his life before he realizes "hey, maybe I'm actually bisexual?" There is nothing Against This. There is no rules that they can't Do This.
Additionally, Badgerfang can still be gay even if his partner is female. Why? Because this isn't Badgerfang saying "I'm gay" and then dating a woman he just met. This is Badgerfang falling in love with his best friend, a guy, and marrying this man and loving him as a man, and then when his husband tells him, "Hey, I think I want to be a woman a little bit, actually," is Badgerfang just supposed to be like, "Oh, hey, actually, I'm gay, so we need to divorce after 10 loving years of marriage." As though their partnership meant nothing. Badgerfang doesn't just love men---he loves Blossomtail. And if Blossomtail wants to be a girl? Then Badgerfang supports her and loves her regardless! Badgerfang can still love and support Blossomtail. Their love is still real, and it's wrong to invalidate it just because "oh, since Blossomtail isn't a guy anymore, Badgerfang no longer feels attraction for him because he is Gay," as though being gay is worth more than a longstanding, loving partnership.
Sexuality, romantic orientations, gender identities---they're all fluid and never set in stone. It varies from person to person. Perhaps Badgerfang would eventually fade out of romantic/sexual attraction for Blossomtail the more feminine he presents. It's not implausible or even wrong if it happens. But, personally, BT!Badgerfang is the kind of guy who would choose to keep loving the wife he's always had, even if he never knew it.
And if it means he's Not Gay to some people? He doesn't care. He's got a wife and he loves her.
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thorne1435 · 2 years ago
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What do you think gay men are attracted to in men that they can’t be attracted to in women?
It can’t be anything about femininity or masculinity obviously. That’s both sexist, and cultural so can’t be what drives men-only attraction.
It can’t be anything about stated identity because someone could lie just as easily as they could tell the truth in such a statement, and it makes no sense because homosexuality and heterosexuality exists in other species with no stated identities. It’s not like other animals without gender are all pan.
Saying idk it’s the vibes or some indescribable trait men have that women can’t but “I can’t explain” is a nonanswer.
Soooooooo what is it? Or do you think any sexuality but bi/pan is just cultural performance or an identity rather than an inborn orientation?
Tough question, and also you're wrong about animals with homosexual pairings in nature, because they *are* indiscriminate, actually. But anyway, if I'm answering you honestly, since I think that gender is a social construct and I know that other great ape species are not as picky when it comes to sex, my only idea of what a gay man sees in men or what a lesbian sees in women is that it has to come down to a mix of personal preference and social conditioning.
It likely varies from person to person, so you'd have to ask one of them and hope that they're introspective enough to have an idea. But most people don't really care why they're attracted to one type of person or another, they just know that they are. Which is fine. It's not their responsibility to figure out "why" they're gay. It's not even certain that that question has an answer.
As a pansexual trans woman with a preference for women, I think the reason why I'm attracted predominantly to feminine presentations is because I was socialized to seek out a woman. But I know I have the capacity to fall in love with a man, because I'm currently in a relationship with one that makes me happy.
So, if I'm right about me, I suppose it's possible that some women start to pick up on social cues related to being attracted to women, and some men start to pick up on social cues related to being attracted to men.
Still, I don't think it's impossible for people to just have that preference, even if we're all naturally genderless beings. I mean, some people just find it more fun to have sex with a man or a woman, and that's hard to give a "why" for, y'know?
It's a lot like food, I think. Sure, you could go eat something that you find disgusting, but there are other options out there that either you know you like better or you're more interested in trying. If I asked you why you like your favorite food, likewise, you're unlikely to have a good answer. Why would you? There's not much reason to think about that.
Anyway, I want to end by saying that straight is absolutely not a real identity. Your ask reads as an attempt to excuse why you think being gay is a choice when in actuality it's far more complicated than "deciding to be gay" or "deciding to be straight." Really, it's more complicated than being "born gay/straight," too! The extent to which these ideas exist in nature is just not as extensive as it is in human society, and that's what makes me think that "straight" is just as fake as gay. These terms are human concepts. Other species don't seem to share this peculiarity. But even so, we can't ask gay people to be straight any more than we can ask a straight person to be gay. If they want to, they might try it out, and if they don't like it as much as the alternative, then they'll go back to that. That's fine. It's complicated.
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niceandbluept2 · 2 years ago
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What do you think lesbians are attracted to in women that we can’t be attracted to in men?
It can’t be anything about femininity or masculinity obviously. That’s both sexist, and cultural so can’t be what drives woman-only attraction.
It can’t be anything about stated identity because someone could lie just as easily as they could tell the truth in such a statement, and it makes no sense because homosexuality and heterosexuality exists in other species with no stated identities. It’s not like other animals without gender are all pan.
Saying idk it’s the vibes or some indescribable trait women have that men can’t but “I can’t explain” is a nonanswer.
Soooooooo what is it? Or do you think any sexuality but bi/pan is just cultural performance or an identity rather than an inborn orientation?
i'm gonna be so honest rn i read this question several times to try to wrap my head around it but i still am having trouble understanding what u r trying to ask/say/imply, especially with all the different qualifiers and dismissals of things that could genuinely be answers as "nonanswers."
i can't tell if this is being asked in good faith or not maybe i'm just autistically misinterpreting it but it seems like passive aggressively written in a "gotcha" way i don't love, while simultaneously not really making a point? at least not one i can glean. the only thing i can think of is that this is a terf that is disqualifying any answer and trying to back me into a corner to say smth abt the Biological necessity of a Vulva to be present or smth to that effect (cringe + kys if that is the case) or i'm sleepytired and not good at reading the tone and/or subtext of this multi layered question atm and could not give a good and thoughtful answer one way or the other. sorry! :)
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lightofgodseye · 28 days ago
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I've been questioning my orientation...
I had gotten very attached to a friend in the past to the point of wanting to be extremely close physically and emotionally. My emotions were so intense, I had thought maybe I had a crush.
Upon much needed self reflection, I realized I was not romantically infatuated. Infatuated? Yes, most definitely, but as I thought about it more, I just intensely and platonically loved, admired and deeply cherished my friend. I wasn't comfortable with the idea with being romantic partners nor having a serious romantic relationship, but why else would I feel so strongly that I want to be by his side for the rest of my life or feel comfortable letting him be close to me in ways I wouldnt let anyone else be?
As moronic of me it is to realize so late considering I understand the concept of strong platonic love, I finally understand my feelings. I don't believe I only prefer masculine presentation either after giving it some thought. My friend happens to be masc and another friend of mine was simular, and because I admired them both, haven't felt attached to feminine presenting people and hadnt understood my feelings, I had thought perhaps I was into masculine people. I don't believe I have a particular preference nor do I feel romantic attraction to any particular gender. Being Queer in general is much more accurate.
In conclusion with my current understanding, I have heavily intense feelings of wanting to be close, even to the point of getting intimate if intense enough, but the more I honestly think about being in a romantic relationship I feel wildly uncomfortable. I am more built toward qprs and best friends, and finally understanding that feels so wonderful. I feel so free. :)
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