#i love bazz so much you guys

[thezoraprince]

Dating the Zora Guard Captain - Bazz x reader

“As much as I love Sidon, I also love Bazz! (And Torfeau!) could you maybe right some Bazz headcanons or like what it would be like to be in a relationship with him?” - @rocklover719

i freaking LOVE bazz!!!! he’s such an interesting character, and i wish there was more content surrounding him (or maybe i’m just not looking lolll)!! i hope you enjoy!! <3

(p.s.: i was freaking out bc i couldn’t find a gif of bazz, so i just randomly chose this one... and there he is!!)

(p.s.s.: it took me 2 weeks to realize that this is, in fact, not Bazz... but Tottika and Bazz look the exact same, so we're gonna pretend it's Bazz...)

as captain of the Zora Guard, Bazz is very much a protecter

he’s almost always on the clock, making sure no harm comes to the domain

like Sidon, he’s eager to help in any way he can

however, he’s much more calm and collected

he’s not much for pda

you may get a kiss on the hand or a small peck from him in public

he tries to be as professional as he can

but when you finally get some time alone...

he’s all over you

he wants to hear all about your day and the exciting things you’ve done

and your touch makes him feel so warm and cozy

he loves to take you to the places around the domain when he gets the chance

especially those spots that overlook the Akkala region (as many Zora’s don’t get to experience the wondrous plains because of the danger that still resides in Hyrule)

he brings flowers back to you after venturing out for work almost always

and you absolutely adore it

he’s extremely passionate about your relationship 

and if anyone hurts you, he has the entire Zora Guard on watch

you are his favorite person

and despite being a Hylian, Seggin, his father, is quite fond of you

Bazz would do anything and everything to keep you happy

he often tells you stories about how Link taught him swordsmanship and how much fun it was

he’ll teach you some basics if you’re new to swordplay

and it often ends with him telling you how wonderful you are

he loves how independent you are

because he knows you’re capable of taking care of yourself when he’s tied up with work

but he does wish he could spend more quality time with you

he’s such a softy on the inside

and he’s so grateful to have a person like you in his life

[karpachev]

they be judging 😔

[sashi-ya]

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ エロチックトバー２０２４> MDNI / EXPLICIT CONTENT

BOTH 🍒 JUGRAM X F! READER X BAZZ B ＫINKTOBER DAY 25: DP

🐙 Requested by: Anonymous. Hnnng. Afab reader with DP with Jugram and Bazz-B??? omg 😳 I'm sorry- ⚠️ tw: mdni. explicit content. there is always a way to stop a fight... jugram and bazz fucking you at the same time. dp. 🐙 wc: 1,1k // kinktober 24 masterlist // join the taglist

- “Then why don’t you fight me, huh? Jugo!”  - “Calm down, Bazz-B…”  - “Ha! Bazz-B?! Come on! You won’t fight for her like you don’t fight for being the succ-“ - “Shut up!” 

You get in the middle; their eyes are blue and red fire, their veins pop from their temples, foreheads and squeezed hands. 

Their hearts beat so fast they tend to lose the rhythm; you can feel it in your palms, as they land on their chests to separate and stop an imminent fight. 

“Stop, guys… please” you murmur, they have gone silent the moment you step in between them. “Stop fighting, my heart hurts when you do this” you continue, acting like an angel in distress… but it was you who gave them another reason to want to kill each other.

Jugram sighs, he takes his hand from the pommel of his sword to put it on your cheek. His blond, long eyelashes flutter over sky orbs that fix on yours with deep regret. 

Bazz, who also stays silent, takes his arm in a much more violent way around your waist. 

“Leave. Her. Alone” he grunts, snatching you against his chest. 

You enjoy the natural warmth of a man that’s made of fire, that also turn Jugrams into a conflagration of hate and jealousy. 

He lifts his chin a little bit, looking at him from the side with superiority intent. Perhaps is just pain, but that’s the only way Jugram had been taught to behave. 

“She is the one to decide” the blonde states. 

“Yeah! Who is it gonna be, (Name)?!” bazz answers back. 

You take some air, passing your hand through Jugram’s small of his back to bring him closer to you and your “captor”

Your eyes go from the mohawk man to the prince, and biting your lip you whisper your final resolve…

“Both… I want both of you… I don’t wanna chose, I want to be shared”

To them, the word <both> had been pronounced in slo-mo. Your lips moving so slow, so juicy, so tempting. A perverted proposal that Bazz-B took as a challenge, while Jugram pondered whether letting reason win or desire… and of course, the scales ended up tipping to lust… 

Immediately after, both attack your neck. A kiss on your right, and a kiss on your left. A bite here, a bite there. Hands around your waist, sometimes crashing their fingertips with the other right in the small of your back. 

Engulfed by their masculine frame, your fists clench to their white Sternritter uniforms, pulling them closer, so close to your body. 

You want their mouths on yours, you want them freed from their pristine clothes… you want the darkness of their souls letting loose and all inside your own. 

Their lips take turns to kiss yours, while one attacks your juicy mouth, the other bites your neck and your collar bones. And then, their hands, playful, blatantly, desperate, rip the buttons that hold your white uniform together. 

There is nothing they wanted more than seeing your naked skin shine with the faint light of the Silbern… the cold surrounding the palace can’t reach your skin, and the bumps on your flesh are only caused by their soft grunts… the heat of their hands, making their way all over you, it is even making you sweat. 

You, feeling so loved and desired, want more… you pull from their clothes even harder, wanting to rip them, to tore them. Yet, you stop yourself, you don’t need to do it, you just need to let their manhood win… a poor damsel, their object… is it that bad to feel that way from time to time? Just, and only, as precious as Heika’s blood? 

You let them do, and by the time you realize, there was no need to ask for it. Bazz walks around and stands at your back. His arms snake around your waist to the front, falling down your belly button. You can feel the hardness of his sex against the small of your back, while his chin rests on your left shoulder. 

As for Jugram, he prefers to stay right in front of you, crunching to devour your chest, breasts and nipples. Sucking, biting, licking, while his index softly caresses your already sensitive lips, forcing his fingertip to bury on your mouth. 

Your explosive lover reaches for your core, spreading your labia until finding your clit. He focuses there, getting his fingertip hotter, just enough to make you squirm in complete warm pleasure.

You try to reach for both bulges, blindly groping as Bazz keeps your head back with his hand on your mandible and his teeth carved on your nape. 

“Desperate, (Name)? What do you want? Tell Jugo and I” Bazz whispers on your ear.

You moan; “what do I want? Both… didn’t I tell you earlier?” 

“Heh…” he answers back, taking a quick look at his blonde friend who had stood up just on time to look at your raptured façade pleading for their dicks. 

“At the same time, (Name)?” Jugram asks, speaking up for the very first time since this is all started. He is a man of few words, and that even made him a little blushed. 

You nod; desperately, moving your hips back and forth to graze both hardnesses… “Please, Jugo, Bazz ~” you purr. 

Enough, that was enough for them. Their pants fall down the floor in a matter of seconds, their sexes, impetuous, violent, hasty, already play against your folds. They get wet, they soak into your neediness… please, please, please. I want you both inside, I wanna feel you throbbing right inside at the same time. 

The first to open its way inside wasn't Bazz, but Jugram. His eyes told his friend to stop, to let him go first, to let him do it before him. And Bazz acceded, he understood you needed the balanced intrusion of someone not -that- explosive. 

When the blond slid right in, you let your head rest on Bazz’s shoulder, trapping his mouth with yours, and kissing him desperately as his friend started moving in and out of you. 

Jugram carves his fangs on your neck, like a vampire, something that kinda looks so proper to him. “Bazz… come on” he mourns, still with his mouth against your flesh. He knows your insides are ready to take him as well; he couldn’t keep your milking walls to be enjoyed just by him only.

“Ready, love?” Bazz whispers, guiding his tip to your entrance. At first, the touch of their manhood stop them for a little bit, but lust prevailed… no friendship, nor brotherhood could stop them from getting deep, deep inside of you. 

And so, with your mouth opened agape, and short breathing filled with random sounds that couldn’t form a word, you feel yourself full. With synchronized rams, stretching you till the point of feeling like ripping in half… trembling, biting, kissing, whining. 

Full, make me full. Both, both, both… Full, we will make you full…

Taglist of amazing babes: @awas-posts @missfuriosa @theneighbourhoodferret @cyberdazetragedy @ariesbbytings @animesnowstorm @lenablack9919

[troius]

What we learned from the war

"Endings are hard" is a something of a truism, but it's borne out in Bleach, where every story arc besides after the first two stumbled at the finish (even the endings of the first two arcs don't really "end" so much as continue into a new story). In the Arrancar arc, the number of characters and plotlines got so overwhelming that an ending that had to be rushed if it was to arrive at all. In the Lost Agent arc, the characters were pared down, but the ending wound up thematically inconsistent with the story anyways, possibly due to real-life circumstances. And the Thousand-Year Blood War somehow managed to have both problems.

The change in direction from "tightly focused character drama" to "sprawling cast of soldiers" meant that it was unlikely to ever give us the development of our protagonist that we craved, and that lack of focus was only aggravated by the widely-reported health problems of the author. And yet, perhaps because we don't get that, because so little of this arc is filtered through Ichigo learning about himself, we get a much clearer statement of the values inherent in the work.

This is most evident in our antagonists for this Arc. Yhwach and the Wandenreich don't really have the relationship with Ichigo that previoius antagonists had. He never knew his Quincy heritage, never identified with their ideals, and so feels very little conflict about opposing them. He doesn't ever develop his Quincy powers, at least beyond integrating them with his already existing powerset. And he doesn't take much of a personal interest in Yhwach, who in turn, doesn't seem to think much of him when he's not directly in front of him.

But for all that Ichigo doesn't end up having much of a dynamic with them, the Wandenreich still manages to maintain a unique character. Every antagonist has a priority, something that they are willing to do great evil for. For Soul Society, it's its own existence, the continuation of the system they've built. For Aizen, it's his own self-aggrandizement. For the Fullbringers, it was simply living another day, screwing over others so that they can't screw you first. But the Wandenreich has no such priority. They simply want it all to end.

That's most obvious in Yhwach's ending monologue, but you can see it from the very beginning as he kills Yamamoto, the man who tried to move on from his bloody past being slaughtered by the man who would absolutely not let it go. Yhwach shows more emotion towards the skeletons of Argola and Huberdt, his dead soldiers from a war long lost, than he does towards any of his living subordinates. And his subordinates follow his lead in showing no love to one another, happily stabbing each other in the back without even the Arrancars' uneasy level of camaraderie. Their movement has no future, and neither do they, so nihilism is the only recourse.

Most of the time. I think it's important to note that every time a member of the Wandenreich expresses positive feelings towards one of their comrades, it's immediately followed by them turning on Yhwach. Liltotto, Bazz, Giselle, eventually, in her own twisted way…even Jugram, at the very end. Sure, Yhwach kills them for their impertinence (he is the bad guy), but he also massacres the Wandenreich faithful en masse. There's no salvation, only death, and he'll enforce that state on his followers rather than allow them to discover any alternative.

I imagine the lesson, and the general attitude of the Wandenreich, was not lost on Uryu Ishida. Even in his relative paucity of appearances, it's he who is at the moral center of the arc. His culture, which he had thought was nearly entirely dead, turns out to be alive, and out for vengeance against the people who exterminated them. It's something he probably fantasized about growing up, and I don't blame him for joining. How could he not?

But at the end, he makes the very easy choice. Calling it a matter of "life and death" is a little on the nose, but it's morally quite black and white. Yhwach has no hope for this world, or for his people within it, or even himself. He lost a war for the nature of existence to a monster a thousand years ago, and never got over it. But Uryu has the strength to look at the horrors of this world and yet hope for better. Because he has people he loves in life, and who love him in return, he can dream of a better tomorrow.

And that's what the ending is all about. Yhwach loses to Ichigo, and it is very much "good guy beats bad guy". But he also loses to Uryu, and to "I hope to have a family with my girlfriend who I love so much" Renji Abarai, and to "I have a tremendous amount of hope to eventually make myself king of everything" Sosuke Aizen, and eventually (in a way I'm still confused about mechanically) to the child Ichigo and Orihime will eventually have, the literal embodiment of the potential of the future.

The final villain of Bleach is not society's tendency to preserve itself at any human cost. It's not individual selfishness, or manipulativeness, or any of the many vices we saw embodied in the hollows throughout the series. It's despair, the idea that life might not be worth living even through all the struggles and horrors our protagonists have endured. Sure, it will always raise its head, sometimes at the most inconvenient, or ill-fitting times. But having its reincarnation be blown away by the supernaturally normal lives of our cast…well, that's as clear of a message as I can imagine.

[pinyatapix]

i never played Concord nor had interest in it but i felt an insatiable drive to redesign all of its characters before the game shut down ever since i saw how absolutely dripless they were

anyways here’s my scuffed ass sketches of the gang. i was originally going to finish these all before the game’s shutdown but i was so stuck on Teo that it took 6 extra days rip me. also i cant draw guns. these are all first drafts so expect them to change a bit if i feel like drawing em again

more info on these designs below (warning i yap a lot)

Itzi (i am not calling her “It-Z” cuz it reads rly weird and i can imagine someone bri’ish calling her “It-Zed” it’s so dumb): Wanted to make her more of a goofy lil gremlin creature, like some combo between a jerboa chameleon and raptor, to make her more appealing and interesting, imagine being shot to death by this silly little scamp. Everyone loves Ivy Deadlock for her gremlin charm so maybe they’d love Itzi too if she had that as well. Her chest has a hole in it containing the weird ball she throws to teleport and shit, because a Concord critique by TBSkyen said that a character’s powers should appear on their physical design or whatever, also to show that she got mutated in a freaky space storm

Bazz: nothing about her reads as “agile deadly knife-throwing assassin”, especially with that annoying puffy bright red coat, she looks completely stupid running around doing backflips with that thing on! So i made it a more sharper mysterious black coat she wears like a cape to give her that sense of shadowy agility like a phantom thief, which she keeps all her carbon steel knives all neatly stored in. Gave her a slight diamond motif on the coat and the glasses because it felt elegant and sharp. Thought her hairstyle kinda fucked hard so i kept it but made it a bit more pointier and added a little stylish side swoop.

Lennox: i actually love this guy’s voice acting and the slightly manic goofy personality it had but his design did NOT fit the voice, so fuck it im making him even more of a lizard man than they were trying to do. His self-healing ability is him shedding a bit of skin after it took damage, and his “splodey knife” is probably a back scale spine he yoinks out of his back that can explode because it’s a biological property of his species for some reason. I do not know what clothes to give him

Lark: Discarded all semblance of a humanoid silhouette to make them even more of a weird mushroomy alien. I don’t really have much to say but i can easily see them slithering around like an octopus on land but faster. Their gun would look way more like some organic fungal creation

Haymar: not much changes here but i wanted to make her more mystic and “wizardy”. The “fireballs” she uses as her main ammo are now a floating bead necklace rotating around her neck (kinda like that zen robot from overwatch) and her clothes now have more of a slight flame motif, along with more of a mystic vibe. Got rid of those ugly ass mustard sneakers too of course

Daw: gave him more turtle motifs to match his “turtle-esque” gameplay style by giving him a protective hoodie and turning his “healing pad” pack into a bulky turtleshell backpack (he’s also wearing a turtleneck sweater shirt underneath the coat lol). His coat is somewhat translucent like shiny plastic cuz i thought it would look neat, tried to ditch the goofy-ass jumpsuit thing he had by giving him a belt to separate shirt and pants. Not too sure if i made him appear enough as a medic as that’s his main thing, the coat and gloves could probably help but idk, but i adjusted his personality presentation to be more easygoing and warmhearted with the closed-eyes so maybe that could give a healer energy.

Duchess: old ladies who know how to kick ass are rly cool. her whole thing’s making walls and constructs out of this golden gooey energy but nothing in her design tells you about that, so i decided to give her a cape/cloak made of that same golden essence so that it’s more apparent on what she can use it for, it also makes her appear more like royalty which was prolly what they were going for. Kept the haircut cuz that beehive thing was very goofy but it fits the vibe of everything else

Roka: she looked like a blowup sexdoll version of Master Chief which is… very cursed, and it tells nothing about her being able to fly around and stomp on people, so i made her bug themed! She’s like a cross between a wasp and dragonfly, the bulletproof wings are rocket-powered and can fully rotate the other direction to give her a forward boost of momentum to stomp people with her slightly more exaggerated boots, they also neatly fold away when she’s not flying. She’s rockin’ that tokusatsu hero look, it gives her a lot more energy to her personality.

Daveers: hated drawing them and i feel unsatisfied but i do like what ideas i had for them. Gave them more of a “sketchy mad scientist” vibe and personality with a shit-eating grin and all that, also tried to give them a “test tube contraption” thing going on by having their helmet be entirely glass and there being tubes and bottles all over their baggy jumpsuit full of poisons and chemicals. Gave them a spray-can backpack that stores all their toxic sludge tho im not too sure if it fits the rest of them or not… whatever. Tried giving them a chemical burn mark on one half of their face but it’s blending in with the hair rip

Jabali: he’s a healer whose powers come from “his own pulse”, but the weird pacemaker thing on his heart is the only way of knowing that so i made him waaaayyy more heart themed! His cool-ass hat’s got a blood cell design on it, his coat’s got a vein pattern, his shoulder pads look like aortas and arteries, i think his dreadlock ponytail could also match the aorta look. I seriously felt that vibe of the cool badass black guy with the glasses and coat and wide tippable hat needed to be enhanced even more, he had all the ingredients to be one stylish mfer but they weren’t mixed in properly, depressing.

Vale: i was racking my head on what to do with her because the only thing going on with her was “sniper” and “bionic legs”, but i decided to make her a “scrapper” like what they called Emari in that one short by turning that “burlap sack hobo” look she originally had into more of a defining feature as something recycled from a bunch of scrap she collected. Turned her “how do you do fellow kids” backwards hat into a slick bandana that has her sniper goggles attached to it, made her braids/dreadlocks into a cool ponytail befitting of a sniper though i wished i decorated them with more stuff other than the power plugs at some of their tips, like nuts and bolts acting as hair beads. Her bionic legs are also more heavily emphasized here, she’s like 70% leg like Byakuya Togami Danganronpa and that makes her a bit more taller than most, i can see her running around with them rly fast also they have large springs in them for extra jump (also they matched those spring like curly tips in her og hairstyle)

Emari: tried to make her bulky armor even more like it’s made of scrap like the “scrapper” she is, tho since i kinda suck at mechanical greebling she looks very cluttered and hard to read. I tried putting cute little stickers and graffiti on her armor to give her more of a fun-loving vibe despite her imposing build, felt like she’d decorate her armor for fun. Gave her helmet a visor to give her some cool toughness and added lil things on it reminiscent of bear ears cuz her silhouette needed a lil something. Problem i have with drawing her is that her silhouette ended up looking too similar to 1-0FF’s redesign, it really needs some fixing cuz it’s pretty damn rough.

Kyps: she could’ve served so much cunt but she didn’t, so i needed to change that. To match her invisibility powers as a spy i themed her off of chameleons and mirrors — i un-balded her for improved silhouette by giving her a hairstyle similar to a chameleon tail (tho it also looks like a glass Prince Rupert’s drop and mirrors are also glass), gave her “earrings” similar to mirror handles, made her coat a lot longer and have it slightly reminiscent of fractured or cut glass, give it a coattail like a chameleon tail, and tried giving faint patterns on the clothes and especially the tied that gives a sort of “shimmery” kinda vibe??? She’s reminding me a lot of Inteleon right now

1-0FF: actually my favorite out of the redesigns, he was so tricky to do but i think i got him pretty right. Wanted him to appear even more of a friendly recycling bot toughened up by constant battle, replaced that menacing eye of his with a friendly smile on a screen (that i took from an app icon from my ipad out of laziness lol) and gave him little symbols of recycling like little sprout iconography and a recycling symbol heart, though as contrast to all that i gave him scars and battle damage so you know he kicks ass. Still wanted to keep the trashcan look so his head kinda resembles those trashcans with the spinny rotating lids, tried my best to make the rest of the body also trashcanny. Turned that vacuum gun of his into a megaman-type arm gun because why did they make it a separate component that’s so stupid.

Starchild: turned him from a rip-off Guardians of the Galaxy character into something more like a rock monster guy since his main ability's called Diamond Skin and it does.... guess what. I put crystals on different parts of his body and I thought about the "hair" on his body being made of those weird fuzzy kinds of crystals (realized it was a missed opportunity to give him chest hair rip). Wanted to make his name "Star Child" a lot more literal by inspiring him off of a shooting star, which is why I gave him that plume of smoke for hair. Since he's a (former) proud tribal warrior guy I wanted his design to lean more heavily into that by giving him tattoos that are like geometric stone carvings??? and giving him clothes and jewelry that give a sort of non-existent tribal culture vibe, his clothes also have a sort of bismuth pattern to them.

Teo: okay this fucker was the reason why I did not finish this. His design was so unimaginably boring that it was very difficult to come up with a "twist" for him while still having him be the standard shooty guy. Days later I immediately thought "Space Dandy" and decided to make him be way more flamboyant with a pompadour as his main feature, befitting of the "goofy space adventure" vibe this game tried and failed to capture. In my head his backstory was that he was raised from birth to be a regular ass disposable space soldier, leaving the army much much later to pursue a quest for self-identity... the identity he chose for himself being that of an over-the-top galactic popstar. I imagine his "Smoke Bomb" ability being glittering colorful smoke instead, like a popstar entering the stage out of artificial smoke clouds.

okay I'm tired. i am cooler than playstation. goodbye

[midnightsnackblog]

Hi Im here to bombard you with prompts! :D

#4 for Luminara, #21 for Stjin, #3 for Fumiko, #16 for Ervin, #8 for Umeko, and #11 for Ormond

21) What song best describes their relationship with their enemy? For Stijn. This one is a good one, the first song that comes to mind for him is "Scylla from Epic the musical", the boy has been through so much and has suffered a lot. The world is his enemy at this point and his hands aren't the cleanest out of all of the ocs i have. He's bitter, filled with anger at the world and himself.

3) What song describes your OC? Fumiko. Neath the grove is a heart, Yaelokre. Perfectly describes Fumiko, she's an archivist who's heart is torn between her own duties to the citadel (where Princess Ayumi lives) or follow her own heart to where she longs to be.

4) What song describes your OC and their partner/love interest? Luminara. True kind of love from steven universe, this one pretty sums up both Luminara and Bazz's relationship perfectly. Sure they might look like the perfect couple with the perfect relationship but they too have troubles just like any relationship but what sets them apart is their undying love for one another.

16) How's their relationship with their parents? Are they alive? Ervin. Ervin's relationship with his parents is great, he loves the both of them and admires them both. However, he feels as if he's under their shadow constantly and is desperate to prove himself, he's a young lad with a big heart.

8) What hobbies does your OC have? What do they do to unwind? Umeko. When the party is over and she is drained from that party high, she likes to settle down and walk the domain. Sure, she might be a bit drained but she's still as talkative, though not as much.

11) What was your inspiration for your OC? Ormond At first, I wasn't too sure of what to do for Luminara's older brother but figured that he'd be the sole caretaker since their parent's death, I wanted a character that looks big and intimidating yet soft. Also, the song, "Pressure" from Encanto, is a bit inspiration for this big guy. Haven't thought up more with him since Luminara takes the lead most of the time.

[gabelew]

Shop update incoming! And it's a pretty big one, especially in the acrylics department!

Restock of Sidon and Bazz charms + new tiny sidon pin and phone charm (i love them so much i can't wait to throw them at you guys TToTT)

Hero Academia holo charms

A bit of Nier!

Buncha original designs themed around Japanese good luck charms

I'm still not entirely done with the stickers... but I can promise there will be some new zelda themed ones!

This month was full of ordering samples and testing out stuff... I really hope you guys like it!

[pearlaqua-eevee]

ok and the rest of ep 22 liveblog

Urahara always showing up like that. Shady neutral until the end I see

AAAA RUKIA FELT URYU THERE. FUCK. MY RAREPAIR FRIENDSHIP CRUMBSAAAAAAA

Renji too obviously lol

"You guys are pissed at Uryu Ishida too?" lmfao Bazz-B

"I can give you a hand to go a kill him!" honey thats their FRIEND lmao sit down

hi protective-over-Uryu Rukia and Renji yeesss

ok but I do like that everyone actually gets a reaction to Uryu's betrayal, kinda shuts up the "he wasnt significant" naysayers in the fandom--BITCH HES SIGNIFICANT TO HIS FRIENDS AND EXTENDED FAMILY

"What dont you like chickens" LMFAO Renji woke up ready to sass because between this and the fight against Mask....

"Good for you" RUKIA AND RENJI PLS NEVER CHANGE I LOVE YOU BOTH

AAAND ZOMBIE BAMBI. FML

YORUICHI IS BAAAAAACK

aaa they did such a good job with the nostalgic parallels on this, ugh it makes me wanna go watch SS arc again back when the stakes were technically way lower but just because the core cast was ignorant lol

lol the dual Ichigo Orihime head tilt was cute

loved that shot of Ichigo, Orihime and Chad lookin badass and ready. Protect them!!!

"whats with that brat" people dont like to be misgendered, is whats up (no seriously they couldnt fine a single extra alt line for the reason that Gigi got pissed? We had to keep the phobia in? ok -_- )

sorry but as a writer, Yumichika suddenly being this observant and picking up on what the audience already knows just on observation, without any indication of how or why he's make the leap from "theyre bombs" to "they make whatever they touch explode"....its such a ooc-for-ic-knowledge moment to be able to have these two have a prayer of fighting back. So while the rest of the fandom is made about like 1 frame or not getting Bambi with her top unzipped, I'll be over here rolling my eyes at how this wasnt changed

I know people are probably mad about the pervert line too but because they actually did edit that line, it becomes directly about what Gigi said about being "excited" and yeah thats sick and twisted, hi, psychopath serial killer energy

"Um I wasnt asking why youre shining" LMFAO ROAST HIM GIGI

the fact that I know the fandoms been saying that scene was "hot"....and it actually is so much worse in the anime because of the voice acting....theres a reason that dialogue reads R rated, its meant to, and its meant to disgust you and theres a reason I stay away from like 95% of the fandom thats all im gonna fucking say on that

"you think im ordinary when you just said I was outstanding?" "dont take it personally, compared to me everyone is ordinary"

not me thinking about how Uryu might outwit the use of those reishi locking things

yeaaah like I know Gigi's powers are fucked up but really imagine fighting these people and realizing that not only can one of them create zombies they can control, but theyve done it to people you know and recognize. Again, no wonder the Quincy are viewed as abominations?!

Arrancars!?

DID THEY JUST USE THE WORD FUGLY OMFG!?

"I came to see that four-eyed Quincy to make him pay for what he did to me" what, so he can absolutely destroy you again? (lol sorry, I LOVE Cirucci, shes one of my fav Arrancar but GIRL. He's gotten stronger since then, I don't think you wanna actually go for him again. Love the shoutout to that tho!?)

characters being able to be revived like this really takes tension out tho lol

so like....we're all in agreement that Mayuri is a "just like what you're fighting" type character, right? Like I get loving him for being twisted and honestly open and obvious about it (unlike other villain characters and in particular some of the Quincy)... like on the one hand as a PERSON, I'm like "love to hate this character, kinda badass in a sick way". but yeah like. He's just as bad as the Quincy and I think it puts a lot of his actions in this arc into perspective in a really interesting way

Gigi singsonging while healing Bambi is really disturbing and I love this character archetype a lot so its nice to see it done well. Shes MEANT to disturb you

FUCK. AND THERES TOSHIRO. I ALMOST FORGOT

HYYYPPPPPEEEE

[clockwise-works]

Link, 7,9,10,20

Appreciate the ask! my crazy thoughts will be below the cut...

7. What's something the fandom does when it comes to this character that you like?

So I really love it when people take small, gameplay mechanics and elements from BotW/AoC/TotK and use it to flesh out Link's personality. What he likes, how he thinks. etc etc. It's... honestly easy to write him off as a gremlin brainlet who likes to cook. Or just a sad and damaged sad guy. I love it when he has a fascination with history, pulling from him documenting stuff he finds in the slate. I love it when pre-calamity he's a competent and strategic mind given his time in the army. I love it now after TotK that we can give Link an interest in mechanics and engineering. Let him have some brains! He's goofy? Of course he is! But there's so much beyond that, and pulling little stuff from gameplay mechanics just itches that one part of my brain!

9. Could you be roommates with this character?

So I did already answer a roommate question earlier with Mipha, so my general thoughts remain the same... for me. I think I wouldn't be too intrusive or annoying, but Link? Idk, given how you can just absolutely FILL the slate, I get the impression Link is someone who has a bad habit at not throwing stuff out. Everything holds value to him, it could be used for something, it looks cool... BROTHER THROW IT OUT ITS A BROKEN PENCIL! Also given the weapon durability I think he's break my appliances...

Dude would make meals that SLAP though, so you take the good with the bad.

10. Could you be best friends with this character?

I mean, I really don't struggle with making friends in person, I find it really easy to talk to people, so yeah! Pull him into the real world where he wouldn't have his knight baggage, dude would be a fun and chill guy fr fr. Good jokes, good mindset and solid beliefs, I imagine he would be a good friend I could both goof and laugh with over stupid shit while also having a late night 3am life talk. Let me give him advice! Listen to me dumbass, I'm older, by like a year! I got SO much more experience than you, wisdom is OOZING from my mind!

20. Which other character is the ideal best friend for this character, the amount of screentime they share doesn't matter.

Oh wow I wonder what the Miphlink enjoyer will say, certainly he'll surprise us!

No, but for real I do love them being best friends, but I think there's some other characters that fit the bill too. Pre-Calamity I'd say Bazz. I imagine the two grew up together (Zora aging is wonky, but I do go with the mindset that Zora's have a few good years where they age comparable to Hylians, using Ruto as a base) and had a back and forth friendship where they mess with one another, but there is a mutual respect and love. (Yes you can love your friends, I love my homies). I imagine that when Link wasn't with Mipha during his visits, he was having kid adventures with Bazz and the others, doing whatever they could. After the whole shrine thing though? I think Bazz grew up, and while Link did too, it was under different circumstances so the two aren't as close. Still good friends, great even, but best friend? Idk. In a non shrine world, though? Hell yeah!

[thezoraprince]

Overthinking It - Bazz x reader

“Scenario idea: Bazz/Sidon wanting a kiss from their s/o super badly, but are too timid to ask because it’s early in the relationship so they end up spending all day thinking about it and turmoiling over it until their s/o finally noticed their odd behavior and questions them about it, to where they finally confess they want a kiss and receive one 🧡” - @rocklover719​

please enjoy this 2 page long self-insert headcanon for our boy Bazz, because i LOVED writing it :’) thank you for always giving me gold <333

(Sidon can be found here)

y/n - your name

Bazz is always somewhat timid to share his thoughts with you

not that he doesn’t want to

but you absolutely give him butterflies

he’s a completely different person around you

and yes, your relationship is VERY new

he doesn’t want to rush things

but wow

he cannot stop thinking about you

Bazz is at work when he realizes how much he wants to kiss you

and thinking about it sends him over the moon

but again

your relationship is new

and he’s still nervous about dating someone who isn’t a Zora

he put himself on guard duty; walking around the domain for surveillance purposes

and you spot him

of course you’re going to go say hi

and he’s thrilled to see you

you both spark up a conversation, as always

however 

you can tell he’s lost in thought

and at some point, you’re both looking out to the falls

and he’s daydreaming

you laugh slightly at his expression

and he snaps back into reality

“What?”

“Are you alright, Bazz? You seem a bit out of it today.”

‘Oh, y/n’s on to you. Act normal!!’

and he sighs with a nervous smile

“Yeah! I’m fine!”

after a bit, you say your goodbyes

because he’s gotta get back to work

but after you depart, it’s right back to daydreaming for him

after his shift, he REALLY starts to overthink it

he’s a mess

a blubbering bumbling mess

‘If y/n wanted to kiss me, [they’d] let me know, right? So why can’t I let [them] know?’

he’d be pacing all over his living space, overthinking things as always

‘I need to see y/n. But, is that the right thing to do right now? I mean, yes. But, I don’t want to be clingy…’

his thoughts are absolutely taking control

but despite feeling overwhelmed by it all

he heads out to see you

and when you answer the door, he’s trying so hard to keep himself calm

“Hi— hi!”

you can tell he’s on edge about something

but you don’t push it

you invite him in

and you still find it kind of funny the way he’s acting

but there is some alarm

because he’s usually orderly and somewhat stern

you both chat for quite sometime

and you’d think that the private setting would help ease the tension in his mind

but no

you’re there

and clearly he’s a nervous wreck

“Bazz, are you sure you’re alright? You’ve been acting strange all day, and I’m starting to get worried.”

“Yes! I— uhh…”

he takes a deep breath

and speaks slowly, as to hopefully not mess things up

“I’ve been thinking about you a lot today. Not to say that I don’t everyday, but… more than usual And, when you stopped by to chat earlier, I—”

he pauses

“You make me feel so… good, and I’d really like to…”

and you’re just waiting for him to say it at this point

“Go on…”

he exhales

“I’dreallyliketokissyou,y/n!”

and you let out a slight giggle, blushing slightly

you knew it was coming

but seeing him so wound up was...

wow

you eye him

and he eyes you

“May I?”

and you bite your lip with a smile and nod slightly

you both laugh nervously

because it’s awkward at first

“How do we, umm…”

and after a moment and a couple deep breaths, you’ve both calmed down a bit

he leans in close and kisses your cheek

and he looks at you for a moment after pulling away

his eyes twinkle in the dimmed light

and you’re waiting

he knows this

and slowly, he pulls you close, pressing his lips to yours 

he’s soft and tender, yet passionate

and it’s hard for him to pull away

but when he does, you’re both speechless, giggling from the excitement

he’s calmed down tremendously

and he’s still holding you close

“Can we… do that again?”

[rays-of-fire-and-ice]

BLEACH: The Thousand Year Blood War Ep 4 Reactions and Thoughts

Overall reaction:

And so the pain begins and the hype continues! We have fantastic fighting sequences and heartbreaking moments abound. I was hyped one minute, and then crying the next. It's episodes like this that show why this arc needed an anime, and what great additions an anime adaption can bring. More down below!

Highlights:

Rose's moment: a small moment, but I really liked it. His somber moment of worrying for Kira, saying hwo he's a muse to him, and how he's basically pissed off enough that he's basically going to cut down any and all Quincy who 'don't understand art' (*cough* really it's for Izuru's sake *cough*)...I don't know, I really liked it! XD

The Captain and Lieutenant vs Quincy confrontations: each one has it's strengths and were all basically 10/10. From the smooth animation when Sui-Feng was dodging attacks, to Bambietta's seiyu being perfect for her, to the amazing music for every fight, these were a delight (albeit with some heartbreak) to watch. I love that the anime team did what we hoped they would do: extend the fight scenes and show some teamwork between the captain-lieutenant duos. However, there are elements in particular that deserve their own mention:

As Nodt's entrance: by God they actually did it; they made As Nodt's ability more scary (and just in time for Halloween too!). I am absolutely not saying he and his ability weren't scary in the manga, but the anime has the advantage of including not only incredible visuals, but also voices, music, and sounds. When I saw all the floating Shinigami and heard that one guy scream after being impaled, I knew the anime had given As Nodt a fantastic entrance. And this guy doesn't utter a whole word for the entire episode...and he still makes an impact!

Byakuya and Renji vs As Nodt: SO. MUCH. GOOD. STUFF. HERE! Right off the bat, Renji's entrance was awesome (just as good as in the manga), and then you have Byakuya, who can never ever make a bad entrance. Senbonzakura cutting into As Nodt's hand was a clean bit of animation, there was a palpable moment of impact when As Nodt bled. I have never been a fan of Mask de Masculine, and this episode may have not changed my mind, but it did make me happy when Byakuya sent him through the ground, a nice little comedic but before the pain begins. Then there was the fantastic addition of Renji and Byakuya's team work (more on this below) as well as Senbonzakura's bankai look the absolute best it ever has on screen (Expect for when it was first shown, perhaps). Byakua's reaction to losing his bankai makes me very excited (and scared) for the continuation of his battle against As Nodt next week. Renji and Byakuya teamwork: THIS was a fantastic addition and shows the benefits of an anime adaption. I give you what is so far one of the best filler/additional scenes in the anime. When was the last time Renji and Byakuya worked together to try and take down an opponent? Have we even ever seen them do teamwork?! It's only a short moment, and we already know what the outcome of the fight will be, but it's small moments like this add the sadness but also show the character dynamics - for instance, Toshiro and Rangiku get a teamwork moment later against Bazz-B, and in a previous arc we got Sui Feng and Omaeda doing their own version. We may not have gotten Byakuya's monologue (more on this below), but I am glad we got a moment like this.

Toshiro vs Cang Du: You know why I'm bringing this one up!! Aside from one of my fave characters appearing again (MY BOOOY!), this was the most emotional moment of the whole damn episode. I was tearing up the moment I saw Toshiro's bankai get stolen (as dazzling as it looked, it was also so gosh darn heartbreaking!). And then, came one of the moment I cried: when cried out for Hyourinmaru and fell to his knees in defeat. The heartbreak! THE HEARTBREAK! ;_; They did an amazing job with that whole scene, from the animation to the music to Romi Park's voice acting, absolutely 10/10!

Ichigo vs Quilge: again, they made this fight so much better. We have some beautiful bits of animation here, including Quilge's flying and Ichigo's attacks. I love how dynamic some of the shots are, in terms of character posing and colouring, it feels like something Kubo himself would draw in a panel.

The Gaganta: it looks goregous! I loved the colouring of it and how brightly coloured Ichigo was in contrast to against it.

I feel like the pacing slowed a little in this one, packing in less chapters than the previous episodes. There was definitely more 'filler', but it was the kind I think many of us expected and wanted. The music was, as always, top-tier in every scene; the song playing in the background when all the captain lost their bankai hit me hard!

Also I totally forgot how badly Chad and Orihime got injured by Quilge, it came as such a shock to me. Again, for the most part, they are not kidding around when it comes to the violence and gore. This includes showing all the casualties, who were slightly more absent in the manga.

Finally, I must admit it doesn't look like we'll be getting Byakuya's monologue. For me, this fight is where his cut monolgoeu about Chojiro could be organically integrated. However, after making his entrance and saying these were the being responsible for Chojiro's death, and then no flashback happened, I got worried. I hope they surprise us and have it appear next episode, because that honestly feels like the last chance they have to organically include it as a bit of fleshing out for his relationship with Renji. Who knows, maybe they could find a way to include it after the fight, and I really do hope it's not just been cut.

Well, I'll see you next for even more pain, including the continuation of Byakuya vs As Nodt (Fear, Hear, Fear is coming and I am NOT ready for Byakuya's greatest fear to be animated in all it's terrifying glory nor am I ready to see his near-death), the defeat of the captains and lieutenants get defeated, and Ichigo desperately try to get to the Soul Society while trapped and only able to hear everyone's pleas.

Manga readers know where this ultimately goes, doesn't stop the adaption of these next several chapters having some of BLEACH's darkest and saddest moments.

[unohanadaydreams]

Just releasing my TYBW ramblings to get them out of the drafts at this point!

I just love them so much OH MY FJXIANSHSLZHAIA

Everyone helping the shinigami are just like ‘yeah we wanna keep our home so….’

Shunsui is scoring so hard ally wise, at every turn.

Who would ever do that, Mayuri? Don’t worry, baby girl, we all know you’re the bestest

First of all, Giselle is so cute omffgg you’re doing amazing, sweetie.

I see what they’re trying to do, making this seem historic, but it really isn’t anything deeper than what Shunsui says. Everyone just wants their world to not disappear.

Also, I realize that not one of these Sternritter seems to be aware that Mayuri did a genocide on Quincy and it seems intentional on Kubo’s part bc he just doesn’t wanna address it. Seems like something they, especially Yhwach, would know considering Quincy powers absorb back to him when they die. And they’ve been living in the shadow of Seireitei, besides.

Characters like Bazz B don’t really seem to care about when is the right time to bring something up either.

Why does he say this like Grimmjow is a celebrity he’s meeting for the first time in an unexpected place. Like oh my god, you’re Grimmjow! From my favorite band, the Arrancars!

But my god, do you remember how people went insane when this chapter came out? Grimmjow has always had SUCH a hold on people. It was amazing. Like all you saw was this panel of Grimmjow until the next chapter came out and there were more scenes of him. People came back to the manga bc of this panel!!!

Orihime was thinking the correct thing. And also, this wasn’t funny the first time in Hueco Mundo and it’s not funny now.

But yes, why not just fix her mask so she stays her correct form and be done with it? What advantage is there for her to even have a child form when it was something that happened from trauma to her mask and signified she’d been made helpless from her injuries??? Why keep it???

Just like the tiddy window dress, it just makes Urahara seem like a troll instead of helpful but that’s kind of schtick—troll ex machina.

Like on one hand, it really is just as he says—he’s out of a home if Yhwach wins.

But also, Grimmjow has obviously still been thinking a lot about Ichigo and is hiding that behind what he’s comfortable with—a promise to kill.

Very cute. Ichigo’s like ‘you’re not the first friend I’ve tamed’.

Here it is again. Duty transcends all.

This time, negated! Yukio asks Ganju if he plans on losing and Ichigo loves to tell people to stay back because he doesn’t want to see more people than necessary risk their lives.

The full bringer aren’t that strong and were bested by the shinigami easily, so he knows they don’t stand a chance against the Quincy let alone Yhwach.

Their strength lies in their abilities practicality, so there’s no need for them to leave their creation.

It’s nice that Ichigo has grown enough that he understands telling people to stay back makes them feel useless & isolated.

The way he’s grown with accepting Orihime and Chad’s help in particular really helps him navigate telling Riruka that she should stay behind by emphasizing his appreciation and her strengths.

Arrancar Invasion to now, you know.

I like how the shinigami get so fucking mad at this. Like oh wow, so sorry your forcibly imprisoned relic of time and space isn’t housed the way you want it to be anymore, guys! They really do treat Soul King like a religious relic.

How does she know what soul king’s spiritual pressure feels like?

How can Soi Fon pinpoint a pressure she’s never felt before? I know pressure can be used to identify other shinigami, but? Is it just process of elimination? She knows the other spiritual pressure she feels so it’s strange there’s one she doesn’t know?

Has she been up here before, even? Before the war?

She’s implying she should be able to feel it with ease so like imagine if Soul King wasn’t encased like an amber mosquito—his power must’ve been insane before becoming This.

[recurring-polynya]

The shinigami buffoonery in the TYBW was unparalleled, and even though you know I love those idiot grim reapers with my whole chest, I general feel like they did not deserve the W on that one (the bit where they are told not to use their bankai and, like, five captains immediately use it???) However, my languishing-in-the-elementary-school-dropoff-line thought of the day is this: The Quincy really did snatch defeat from the jaws of victory by the very simple virtue of never making sure anyone is actually dead.

It’s pretty obvious to me, and makes sense in universe, that high-powered shinigami are really hard to kill. Shinigami have bodies, but they are mostly just there to make everyone feel better, they don’t function like our meathusks, filled with delicate systems of organs and...mucuses and stuff. Shinigami are an incomplete set of memories, bound together by a will to exist. If you wound a shinigami in a way that would definitely kill a human-- disemboweling them for example (a thing that definitely happened to Ichigo once), it will traumatize them for sure, but if they can make it through the initial wound trauma, their spirit (possibly their zanpakutou) will just start spackling their reishi back together. Consider, if you will, how much blood came out of Renji when he fought Byakuya.

I think Byakuya assumes he’s leaving Renji for dead here, given the whole speech about “your bankai has disappeared, you must be close to death” (and let us also consider-- Byakuya considers this to be the indicator that Renji is about to bite it, rather than the fact that most of Renji could be picked up with a mop at this point). Rikichi and Hanatarou come by, but you get the sense that they didn’t save Renji’s life, they just got him back into fighting shape. I’m not sure that if he had just lain there indefinitely, if he would have gotten well enough to get up, but I definitely feel like Renji is incapable of bleeding out. I think this is normally the sort of thing that separates a lieutenant from a captain (or at least a lieutenant with captain potential from, say Omaeda), but Renji is incredibly stubborn generally, and at this moment was incredibly driven to keep going in order to save Rukia.

To actually kill a shinigami, it seems like you have to either cut off or destroy their head, or cut them roughly in half. Even when Tousen gets stabbed through the brain, he is still able to chat a little bit before, um, exploding, for some reason, which is definitely not what would happen to a person who got stabbed through the brain. You can even cut a shinigami, like 65-35, and if the head is on the big half, they can probably survive that. This has happened to Hitsugaya, like 4 times, although I don’t remember which ones turned out to be illusions or in filler, or what, but I am pretty sure that there were at least twice. I mentioned earlier that a shinigami is a set of memories, but another way to think of that is that they are a self-concept. This is sort of a two-edged sword, in the sense that it is this identification with their physical corpus that can cause them to die if it gets hacked up too bad. Mayuri, who is able to think of himself as a big moving glob of reishi, might be nearly impossible to kill without literally, like, doing some sort of Quincy reishi absorption trick. He turned himself into a goo once. (Incidentally, I think Urahara is also very good at this, as evidenced by his bankai).

As far as I can think, the only shinigami we have ever seen succumb to their wounds is Gin, and this holds to my theory, too-- he’s spent over a century lying in wait to take Aizen down. He took his shot and it wasn’t enough. Then, Ichigo shows up, and Gin looks at him, says ‘I am no longer needed’ and dies.

So, back to the point!

The Quincy did a lot of property damage and killed a shit-ton of low-level shinigami. I’m sorry to them, but let’s face it, the low-level shinigami have never played... really... any significant role in Bleach. In terms of actually taking out people with enough power to be considered players:

Sasakibe is killed by a group of seven Quincy as a warning shot

Yhwach personally kills Yamamoto

Unohana lets herself get killed by Kenpachi because she very much wanted to be excluded from this narrative so he would get stronger (still not convinced this was necessary)

Nemu dies while fighting Pernida because she pushed herself past safe operational limits

Ukitake sacrifices himself to keep reality from collapsing

Yhwach and his best guys do manage to kill (temporarily) Squad 0 using a 1-time power-up that claimed the lives of most of the other Quincy forces. It is implied that it is not possible to kill Squad 0 permanently.

You might notice a pattern here, which is that the Quincy suck ass at killing shinigami. Furthermore, at one time or another, the Quincy KO’d a significant portion of the main cast: Kira, Byakuya, Renji, Rukia, Kenpachi, Hitsugaya, Matsumoto. Renji and Rukia interrupted Mask just as he finished taking down Kensei, Rose, Hisagi, Ikkaku and Yumichika, but Giselle gets ahold of Rose and Kensei later and zombifies them, which I am very distinctly not sure is a better strategy than just killing them (it certainly doesn’t pan out very successfully). There may have been some other of these fights that were interrupted, I am not going to re-read the whole TYBW arc for the purposes of this post. My point is, instead of spending one hundred billion Quincy dollars on developing bankai stealing abilities, I would have also given the Sternritter a PowerPoint presentation consisting of a single slide that just says “once they go down, make sure they’re dead.” Personally, I probably would have divided my forces into frontline fighters like Bazz and As Nodt and Bambi, and given them squads to follow along behind them, cutting off heads and incinerating bodies. Then again, Yhwach seemed to give exactly zero shits about personnel issues or strategy, generally.

Mostly, this war was a matter of Yhwach trying to do stuff and various shinigami preventing him from doing it. The TYBW arc is a mess and I am honestly not willing to put in the amount of effort to determine if there were actually any linchpin characters aside from, Ichigo, obviously, but I feel like if the Quincy had gone the extra 0.1% in that first invasion and actually finished off Byakuya, Rukia, Renji, and Kenpachi, they would have won the whole thing.

But they didn’t. lol.

[enduracarrotchips]

YouTuber AU

Hello welcome to Dating Scandal but with Twitter Involved (nightmare)

A little exposition here: 

Link, Zelda, Sidon, Revali, and Riju are the most popular group of youtubers on the internet and have a huge fanbase that likes to theorize, draw fanart, and write fanfiction about them. Disclaimer, I don’t actually interact with real-person fandoms myself lol there’s just too much potential for drama and misunderstandings & they’re always bound to end in a dumpster fire but that is sort of what this au is about so.

Impa, Mipha, Daruk, and Urbosa are family friends that appear in a lot of their videos/streams. 

(This is an art blog I swear)

enter vidcon 20XX

Link: 

blows stuff up/sets stuff on fire with a side of cooking vids and gaming

most are filmed outside, he does those challenges where you try to cook stuff with limited ingredients/materials

has the largest fanbase of all of them, but not the most…intimidating.

does a lot of collab videos, mostly with Impa, Daruk, and Riju because they have similar interests/channels, but Zelda appears in his videos and is seen filming and the stans read too far into it

simps. i’m pointing at you.

Most popular videos are “shield surfing on rock!—how I broke my leg” “can Daruk eat Impa’s motorcycle?” and “how to inhale ranch dressing.”

Twitter handle is @ arsonistslullabye because he’s a hozier fan

45m subs

Zelda:

theories, analyses, conspiracies, and the occasional e x p e r i m e n t

she once got link to eat a frog for 50 bucks.

most people argue that she’s better than more popular YouTubers because she actually has quality content to give to the world and she has a lot of defensive supporters

She used to get a lot of hate before Urbosa spoke up about it and scared the bejeezus out of everyone

has an actual posting schedule

“Happy Sunday everyone, it’s Zelda Hyrule and today we will be talking about cryptozoology and why blupees exist, you cowards.”

Twitter handle is @ zeldaofhyrule and she is pan. just so you know. One of those calm extroverts that mystify me to this day.

18m subs

Sidon:

fashion/life hacks. Like gourmet troom troom but if they were real people.

Has the 2nd largest fanbase

most of them are girls

Sidon has a boyfriend though, which he told everyone at VidCon a few years ago

cue the drama and shipping and the entire fandom trying to figure out who the boyfriend is. A well known reddit thread emerged that presented the common guesses being Link, Sidon, and Zelda.

“But it can’t be Zelda, Sidon’s gay.”

“I’m not in the fandom but I thought Zelda was a boy??”

“Did you just say Sidon? Is that a typo? Are you saying that Sidon’s dating himself?”

Sidon x Sidon became a fandom joke.

Don’t look at me I’m just setting up all the worldbuilding. every fandom has their weird dark sides and Sidon x Sidon is the Linkcest of the Sidon YT fandom.

Mystery BF is actually Bazz, a pretty inconspicuous guy who appeared in a few of his videos. This was confirmed a year ago, but everyone still ships him with other YouTubers because they’re convinced he was lying to throw them off his scent. He really can’t catch a break and this is why you should not ship real people.

Twitter handle is @ officialprincesidon

says “beguiling” a lot

21m subs ᕙ( ͡❛ ▿ ͡❛)ᕗ

Mipha:

Sidon’s sister, hasn’t posted a single video but just has the channel for show because she appears in so many of Sidon’s videos as a model for his makeup tutorials and whatnot

has 328k for that. Everyone loves her, she’s great. @ mimipha

Revali:

Link’s sworn rival

Link thinks they’re friends

He kept popping up in link’s Twitter threads and making snarky comments until zelda called him out for not even following link (so why was he stalking his acc) which kept the Twitter drama to a minimum

Revali was the catalyst of a few popular memes and that’s where most of his subs come from.

drags link into a few challenges that always get a ton of views because of how competitive they get

“ITS JUST ASININE” is a running joke that everyone tries to get him to say. His @ is itsjustasinine as well

Urbosa is the only person who can win an argument with him

5m subs and growing rapidly. newer to youtube than everyone else.

Impa:

Doesn’t have a channel she’s just a mutual friend of Mipha, Zelda, and Link

Rides a motorcycle, so she is used in a few of Link’s videos.

@ ihaveamotorcycle because she thinks having a motorcycle is a personality trait. the most unruly on Twitter when it comes to replying to fan’s stuff, leaking upcoming videos and generally causing chaos.

Mipha’s girlfriend. That’s how she met Zelda and Link.

Urbosa:

Is actually a model, but she has a ton of YouTuber friends because she’s known Zelda since birth.

when she entered the youtube community she didn’t realize she would be adopting like 15 children

5m subs. her videos are professional & related to her modelling career. @ urbosasfury

I feel like she would do unboxing vids. I’m not sure what she’s unboxing.

Daruk

Just a friend of Link’s, fun guy. yells a lot. once ate a rock and had no reaction.

people are scared of him for that reason

Riju:

yoga & gymnastics & “ha look at how flexible I am its eAsY” videos

you know the type

she also does reactions and is sponsored by save the sand seals charities which she is very enthusiastic about. She’s also Urbosa’s niece and the only minor in the gang (15). I like to think that the champions YT community is actually not creepy so everyone respects her a ton

doesn’t post frequently, she mostly appears in Link’s videos to jump out of airplanes or whatever. And sometimes Zelda’s if she’s interested in the topic. 500k subs, but she’s always really popular when she appears in Link’s videos.

VidCon:

In the months leading up to VidCon, some fans on the internet made a few discoveries: first of all, that the inside of Link’s house is painted green. This is a big deal because all of his videos are filmed outside either in his backyard or on trips that he and the brosquad go on to do…whatever bros do. explosions. idk. The point is he had some announcement about VidCon and filmed it inside. Only the wall and a potted plant were shown.

However, the colour was similar to the the shade of Zelda’s living room. Fans dug through years and years of old videos and found a clip of Zelda walking through a hallway, where there was an open door and a glimpse of a houseplant.

There were 2 types of responses to the theory:

“They could just be roommates guys calm down”

“and they were ROOMMATES?”

others pointed out that Link could just not have a house and had to crash in Zelda’s

Some guy on reddit claimed he had a botany degree and declared that the houseplants in the clips were not of the same genus. Normal people pointed out that the plant would have grown 4 years between the clips and would look considerably different.

#Zelink trended on twitter for a while and people posted other old clips from both of their channels and the frog video blew up again

Impa retweeted a post tagged as #zelink with “rofl” and later publicly apologized for causing confusion.

Fans noticed that in the “can a motorcycle drive over my arm” (it was clickbait he’s fine) episode 2 years ago, Link was eating out of a paper lunch bag with his name written on it in handwriting that a few people claimed to look like Zelda’s, leading people to believe that she had packed him a lunch.

However, this theory was shot down with the counterargument that Zelda can’t cook. although. i mean how much skill do you need to make a sandwich.

No one knows what tumblr is doing at this time

Zelda wore a scarf in her “Save the Sand Seals” video that matched identically to the scarf Link wore when he travelled to Hebra to film a shield surfing video, but it’s been debated wether it’s actually the same scarf or not.

Neither Zelda nor Link has spoken up about the theories, and besides Impa’s one slip on twitter, neither has any of their friends. Zelda received a lot of backlash for the assumption that she was dating Link because he has a lot of delusional fans that didn’t want her to “steal their man” or whatever the hell that type of fan would get mad about

Oh yea and bolson & karson run a zelink fanpage on twitter sorry I forgot about that

after that whole mess, everyone was even more anticipant of VidCon in the hopes that some of their questions would be answered.

The whole batch went to VidCon this year: Link, Impa, Daruk, and Riju are a gang while Sidon and Mipha go together and Zelda & Revali each go separately. Urbosa is there for supervision moral support

Zelda has always been much better at dodging questions that she doesn’t want to answer than anyone else, so her Q&A went without a hitch. When asked to confirm the rumours she said “which one?” and then moved on to the next question (without actually confirming any rumours).

Link is generally a more awkward person but eventually said that he had filmed the video in Zelda’s house because it was nicer and didn’t realize it would cause such an uproar. Fans were disappointed, but Bolson claimed he saw Link and Zelda exiting the hotel elevator on the same floor after Link’s Q&A session. No one believed him.

Fans went back to theorizing over who Link, Zelda, and Sidon were all dating, because apparently they can’t just be dating unknown people and have to be with other YouTubers

Sidon and Bazz got engaged about a week after VidCon, making at least 4 preteen girls cry

actually try 4 million

Sidon x Sidon made a brief comeback but Sidon spoke up about his fandom for the first time ever on twitter and told everyone that no, he was not dating himself. eventually, everyone settled down and accepted that none of them were in a relationship save for a few loud fans.

Link and Zelda still got the occasional “when will you tell us who you’re dating?” comment but most of them were joking and the people who still hardcore shipped them were generally frowned upon. Zelda’s popularity went up after VidCon and she regained the 200k subscribers she’d lost after the first theory dropped.

Two months after VidCon, Link posted a video titled “Zelda and I’s House Tour!” and gave around 45 million people a heart attack

as revealed in the video, they had actually been dating since they were 16 and everyone’s just a fool.

the potted plant is named Hestu.

[yummyinmytwistedtummy]

Draconic Instinct: Malleus x Reader vore

So... this was originally going to be posted on the 7th for @twistedtummies2′s birthday, but I saw that they were having a rough time recently and decided to post it a bit earlier. I’m a little unsure about how this one came out but I’m gonna post it anyways. I hope ya’ll like it, and happy early birthday/happy easter @twistedtummies2.

I swear I didn’t mean to make it so romantic. It just kind of happened.

   There were hardly any words to sum up how you felt at this moment, but to say the very least you no longer envied ant man's power of shrinking on command. You supposed fictional characters couldn’t get vertigo but you certainly did and it wasn’t pleasant.

   Groaning, you sat up and held your stomach and head. It hadn’t taken you long to figure out what happened. The only thing you were left wondering was how and why it had happened.

   With awe and slight fear you gazed at the world around you and how different it was to when you weren't the perfect size to soak in a teacup.

   Everything was 10 times the size it had once been. Maybe even bigger. Bushes loomed over you, flowers were bigger than your hands, grass was like walking through a corn field, and when you looked up at the trees they were larger than skyscrapers. In comparison you were roughly the size of someone's palm. 

   Being shrunk definitely wasn’t on your bucket list, but NRC never really seemed to care about what you wanted. “Great, how am I gonna get back to the dorm now?” You huffed and placed your hands on your hips. 

   Several ideas came to mind yet none of them were actual solutions. You couldn’t walk, it would take forever. You couldn’t call anyone since your phone had cracked when it fell from your hands before you shrank. You also couldn’t ask Grim for help since he was already back at the dorm.

   The one day you actually needed his help he was sick because the little furball ignored your advice and ran out into the cold rain the night before. You sighed and looked at your surroundings again. 

   It was rather odd that you were shrunk today. Not that being reduced to a few inches tall was ever normal, but today was a particularly peculiar time to fall victim to more troublesome magic. 

   Today was your birthday. 365 days in the year and today was the day that something like this happened to you. At this moment your gorgeous beau was waiting for you back at the ramshackle dorm with some movies so you could cuddle up and relax together after a long day of school.

   Although you doubted Grim would let you have any alone time with the prince since he was so sick. A sick Grim was a clingy Grim. You didn’t mind as long as he was comfortable but you had been hoping to watch your boyfriend indulge in some ice cream later that evening. You still loved Grim but you were a bit bitter about the fact that your favorite bonding activity with your boyfriend was cancelled.

   Now you couldn’t care less about it as it seemed that you might miss the evening all together. A frown decorated your features and you grumbled unhappily about the situation as you began to walk in the direction of the dorm.

    You would never make it home in time, but there was no use in standing around and pitying yourself. As you walked you tried to recall anything out of the ordinary that had happened during school. Besides the birthday wishes and occasional presents, everything checked out.

   Maybe it was someone’s unique magic. You hadn’t seen anybody around as you were walking home but then again you weren't really paying attention either. Apparently you weren’t paying much attention now either as you hadn’t noticed the giant teen approaching you until it’s shadow fell over your very tiny figure.

   You looked up and gasped. A very large hand was reaching down to grab you, which had been the cause of the shadow. You did what any sane person would do and tried to book it. The giant hand was faster.

   “Let me go!” You shouted angrily, but stopped when you were swung upwards in a way that made you worry that you were going to lose your lunch. “Oh boy…” Even after the ride was stopped you felt dizzy.

   “Well, well, well, lookie here. The high and mighty prefect of the ramshackle dorm!” A smug looking face appeared in your vision and you had to hold back a scream.

   The giant in front of you was the owner of the hand that had plucked you from the ground. He was dressed in a Savanaclaw uniform and resembled a bear. His smirk displayed two rows of sharp teeth that in any other situation would make you swoon. Right now though your fear conquered your kink.

   “Got ‘em good there Bazz. Aw look at ‘em all tiny and trembling. Hahaha!” Another student who you didn’t recognize came from the side and sneered at you. “What a weakling. Hardly fit to be called a prefect, especially without any magic.”

   Oh… That’s what this was about. You glared at the two men and started struggling. “Put me down you oafs!” It had been a while since you first arrived at NRC but it seemed that some people were still insistent on bullying you about your lack of powers. 

   This wasn’t the first time that other students had decided to pick on you. People sneered and called you names in the hallways all the time. It wasn’t hard to ignore them after a first few weeks and soon you began to think that they were just words. 

   No one had tried anything like harming you so far, but it wasn’t entirely out of the question. At a villain school it’s generally to be expected. It was why you so often only travelled with others. Your fellow students that you had established relationships with and trusted accompanied you back to the ramshackle dorm most days. And if they weren't around, Grim was usually there to take care of you.

   Except for today.

   You were in no way a weak individual, however it was much harder to defend yourself when you were 5 inches tall.

   The second student, a Scarabia student from the looks of it, had a curly mop of red hair and cheeks spotted with hundreds of freckles. His eyes were a light blue color and his crooked smile revealed good dental work. He would have been more attractive had he not been leering at you or practically peeling apart at the seams from sunburn.

   Bazz, the bear manimal, had dark skin and medium length black hair. His eyes glowed yellow as he smirked with teeth so disgusting they almost matched his eyes.

   Several more students, from nearly all the dorms, crept out of the shadows and surrounded your initial two captors. The color drained from your face and you willed yourself not to tremble as a series of horrific opportunities entered your mind.

   “Oafs! Ha! We aren’t oafs, you're just a shrimp!” The group laughed and you glared at them with as much malice as you could muster. “Not that name calling ever does anything.” Bazz drew your attention back to him. “We had hoped that by telling you that we didn’t want you here, you would get the message and scram. But some herbivores just don’t get it, so us predators, both physically and magically, have to teach you where you belong on the food chain!”

   You gaped and let your eyes widen. Did these buffoon’s know who you were? That you had saved their arses on several occasions, both from others and themselves. You weren’t super buddy buddy with Leona, (cause he’s a pain and doesn’t like you very much anyways), but he still seemed to care about you enough that he didn’t want you to die. At the very least Ruggie could still get some free chore help out of you.

   And if Kalim and Jamil found out what one of their students was doing they would both be unhappy, angry even if he actually managed to hurt you. There was also the deal with Azul, situation with Riddle, and the show Vil put on as well. Truthfully there were so many reasons that they shouldn’t hurt you. It was almost shocking that they still wanted to hurt you after everything.

   One thing you did notice was that there wasn’t a single Diasomnia student in the bunch. That comforted you a minor amount. At least no one in your boyfriend’s dorm disliked you enough to go behind their dorm leaders back in order to get rid of you.

   “G-guys, let’s just t-talk this out.” You held out your hands in hopes that you could calm them into a negotiating state. “Listen, you don’t want to do this really. So if you could just turn me back I’m sure we could work somethi-”

   “Shut it, meat!” the savanaclaw barked at you. The noise made your ears ring and you held your hands over them to muffle the loud shouts. “Heeheheehe… is the little herbivore scared. That’s alright no need to be shy, I like it that way.”

   The circle of boys surrounding you, howled with laughter and you cringed from the stimulus. 

   As the laughter died down, Bazz looked at you closely. “Scrawny thing like you would have barely made a meal full-sized. Guess we’ll have to kill you the old fashioned way instead.” You gasped and began to thrash in his grasp as some of the students whistled. 

   “Bazz, you should feed her to yer snake!” “Bazz! My little sister’s been looking for a new doll to dress up!” “Bazz, hey! My dog needs a chew toy and that thing is the perfect size.”

   Threatening ideas that all promised a painful demise bounced around the group, each one more horrific than the last. The scarabia boy looked like he was about to lose it with laughter and Bazz watched you struggle as if it was the most entertaining thing in the world. No one noticed the clouds above head slowly circling and becoming denser. 

   “Alright alright! Hey everybody shut up!” Bazz, who you had concluded was the leader by this point, shouted at his lackeys. “I’ve decided how I wanna kill ‘em.” he said darkly with a smirk. An almost crazy look came to his eyes and he turned you so you were on display for the whole group to see. 

   “This little magicless shit and their raccoon thing have been plaguing this school for too long. I saw we knock out two birds with one stone and get rid a both of ‘em at the same time.” he paused for dramatic effect. “We’ll coat this one in tuna and leave it for the racoon to eat, and when he’s finished we’ll tell the headmaster and he’ll be expelled!”

   The group cheered and you moaned in utter exhaustion with a dab of hopelessness. Why was this school so ridiculous. You swore one day these imbeciles were gonna set the school on fire and when they turn to you for help, you were just gonna roast marshmallows and watch them panic. 

   A part of you was scared of course, you knew how Grim got when it came to food, but there was no way he wouldn’t notice you. Besides you weren’t really all that nervous anymore now that you noticed the sky.

   Dark clouds swirled around and flashes of green lit up the sky momentarily before dying down. Malleus was obviously looking for you and he was obviously not happy. Moments after you realized he was coming a massive lightning bolt struck the ground only feet away from where the pod of students stood.

   You screamed and shut your eyes as pain lit up behind them. You were swung around as the bear man protected his eyes as well and nausea took over you temporarily. 

   Even after you opened your eyes, only blackness filled your vision. Luckily you could still hear pretty well and relief flooded your veins when you picked up the voice of your boyfriend.

   “Hmm… it appears a bunch of scoundrels have decided to pick on my darling. Unfortunate as it seems, I am at fault for letting them walk home alone. Please return them and I won’t harm you.”

   Malleus was a frightening person to be up against, however the number of other students seemed to give them hope. “Not happenin’” You heard Bazz growl. “I caught ‘em so their mine!”

   The dark fae stiffened and you inhaled sharply. Thunder boomed and some of the students appeared frightened for a moment before attempting to return their expressions to confidence. They failed miserably.

   Malleus’ eyes widened before slanting dangerously. His pupils which were already slits, thinned out in an even more reptilian like way. His cape billowed around him as the wind picked up as a result of his rage.

   Being possessive doesn’t even begin to cover how Draconia feels about you. To him you were the most magnificent treasure in his entire hoard. The shiniest most beautiful precious gem he owned and his mate. After many many years of near solitude, Malleus had come to appreciate your company more than he could describe with words. Hearing another try to claim you ignited the fire in his belly and drove most logical thought from his mind. 

   The only thing he was thinking about was getting you back to him, completely unharmed. You supposed this might be the reason that the next events were so seemingly out of character for him. 

   He growled threateningly and the students took a step back. Two of them ran for it and one looked like he was just about to. Bazz and the Scarabia student stood stiff and nervous but didn’t back down. 

   Your eyes finally adjusted and you watched as a pomefiore student foolishly took a step forward. As first years they had practically nothing to use against the dark prince, who waved his hand and a gust of wind blew the student over like he was made of cardboard. 

   Malleus obviously wasn’t in the mood to play, yet he didn’t take out the students just yet. He decided he would show them something. “Bring my treasure here!” he snarled. Bazz shook but didn’t comply.

   “Fine, be that way.” the half dragon snapped his fingers and you were effortlessly teleported into his hands. You knew from experience that he could only do that to smaller objects so you supposed it was a good thing that you were shrunk.

   “Malleus!” You cried out and looked up at him with relief. His eyes momentarily flashed with the familiar adoration that he used when he gazed at you everyday. They turned dark again when the Scarabian boy shouted, “Hey! We caught that little rat so it’ ours. You're gonna have to fight us if you really want to take them!”

   “I will.” his voice was eerily calm as he stared them down. “In due time, but first,” he raised a finger and you squealed when he lifted you suddenly. “I need to tuck my treasure where it will be safe. I wouldn’t want my mate getting damaged or having to see the gruesome mess I am going to turn you into.”

   Confusion etched itself on your face but quickly shifted into understanding. Scared understanding, but understanding no less. “Umm… Mal… I don’t think-” 

   “Shh…” he quieted you and smiled at you softly. Despite your fears you nodded, giving him permission to continue. 

   The two of you had discussed this before, as he was well aware of your interests, however you had both decided that it wasn’t the time yet. Now, apparently was the time as you found yourself hovering over him in anticipation of what was to come.

   You glanced to the side and saw the last 4 students’ faces undergo the same transition yours did except they appeared much more horrified. Squirming, you looked down and gulped when Malleus gave you one last comforting look before stretching his jaws wide beneath you. 

   A flush crept onto your face as you gazed down into the open maw of your boyfriend. His teeth were sharp like spikes waiting to clamp down and tear through anything that he decided to consume. Each dip and crevice of pink pulsing flesh was oozing with clear slime. The back of the throat was illuminated by a strange green glow that came from below. Hot, stale breath washed over you and blew your hair slightly.

   Nervousness and anticipation spread through you as you were lowered into the large mouth that you realised resembled a sort of odd cave. His long forked tongue curled around your torso tightly as it carefully pulled you past the sharp fangs and into his mouth. The action was weirdly comforting as you picked up on his concern for your wellbeing. 

   Soon you were pulled completely into the slimy maw and watched, mildly afraid as the jaws shut, sealing off your exit. The tongue unwrapped itself and slid over you instead, prodding and feeling as it tasted you. It particularly enjoyed any part of you that wasn’t covered by clothing. And as your shirt was pushed up slightly so the tongue could lap at your midsection, you felt and heard Malleus humm in delight.

   You squirmed and giggled as the tongue continued to tickle you as best it could. It pulled back suddenly when a loud groan echoed up from below, telling Malleus that it was time to eat. He had never been one to deny himself of food if it was within appropriate terms so he tipped his head back and you felt gravity shift as he began to swallow you.

   The fae grunted and swallowed thickly, using a finger to trace your form in his throat. He scrunched his face as you sank slowly down past his chest, which he thumped in order to speed up your journey. And finally he felt you plop into his stomach.

   You panted for breath as the ride down had been far too tight for your liking but almost immediately gagged when you were hit by the horrid stink of whatever meat and sweet dessert Malleus had eaten last. 

   The gut around you was fairly large and spacious compared to the size you currently were. The walls pulsed and throbbed as they sensed you in their space. It was almost as if they were trying to locate you. That’s when you realized they were. 

   A high pitched whining sort of sound alerted you to the fact that your boyfriend was checking to make sure if you had made the journey safely. Quickly you trudged through the sludge, which tingled your skin when in contact, and placed two hands on what you assumed was the front wall of the stomach. 

   You could see due to the eerie glow in the stomach but you weren’t quite sure which direction you were facing. You received an answer when a handprint pressed against you in a comforting manner. 

   “I’m alright!” you called, “Don’t worry about me!” The stomach lining tensed and you heard Malleus growl, “Impossible!” You blushed and smoothed your hand over the slimy walls in appreciation for his undying concern for your wellbeing. 

   Outside, the remaining two students who had failed to flee when they saw Draconia swallow his lover whole, trembled in their spots. Both whimpered when his gaze turned towards them and fixed with a cold and dangerous stare that promised pain. 

   “You!” the dark prince seethed, “attempted to take my mates life!” His voice raised and lightning flashed behind him. “And for that, you will pay dearly!”

   You were flung backwards into the sludge as you felt Malleus jerk swiftly as the fight began. He pointed his staff at the two buffoons and muttered an incantation under his breath before a large jet of light blasted towards them. 

   Both jumped out of the way just in time for the laser to scorch the ground where they had previously stood. 

   They looked at each other fearfully and then back at Malleus. Scrambling, they attempted to stand up and fight back, but neither were successful as they were suddenly blasted by another powerful spell. 

   Your boyfriend smirked wickedly as he watched the two students deform and shrink until there was nothing left but two large rats screeching panickedly in the grass. “You’re lucky my mate disapproves of murder. Otherwise you would be in hell right now!”

   Lightning struck again and Malleus vanished from his spot, leaving the, now rodents to scamper off into the woods, hoping the spell would wear off. 

   Flickering lights flew around the room as its owner appeared out of thin air, transported home with magic. He sighed and leaned his staff against the wall with a huff. You were quiet as you listened to the dark mage begin to undress enough to leave his midsection exposed. 

   He gently sat down on the bed and you gripped the stomach wall to remain balanced. He leaned back and grunted, placing a palm over his stomach. “Darling, you are still alright?” his voice sounded slightly strained and you raised an eyebrow.

   “Um, yes, yes I am.” he sighed in relief. “That’s good. In that case please do excuse me but-” you didn’t hear him finish his sentence before the air around you thickened momentarily before rushing upwards in a loud blast.

“GRRRRWWWWWWOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRP!!!!!”

   You gasped and felt your legs weaken beneath you. The large eructation bellowed around you and seemed magnified from you being inside of him. 

   Malleus moaned softly. His eyebrows drew together and he sat a bit straighter on the bed. “My apologies, darling, it appears you gave me quite a bit of gas.” He muffled another burp, which rumbled deeply in his throat and blew the fetid air out the corner of his mouth.

   “N-no need to apologise.” you said hesitantly. You were very aware of your boyfriend's aversion to rudeness, however, your interests didn’t care much and you always found yourself shaking at the knees when he let loose a bit. 

   He smirked and rolled his eyes at your reaction and wished he could see your no doubt adorably blushing face. His hand rubbed large circles over his stomach and a low purr like sound began to rumble through his chest.

   You trudged over to the wall again and placed your hands against it. He pressed back lightly in conformation that he knew you were there and you smiled fondly as you began to rub the stomach lining.

   He let out a low croon and you felt him sink into the bed. You could almost see the look of pure delight that would slip onto his face anytime you massaged his belly. If only you knew how much better it felt to him now that you were applying your ministrations from inside.

   Malleus hummed softly and peered down at his stomach with a loving and satisfied gaze. You were safe. Away from those bullies who he would further deal with later once you weren’t around to stop him with morals, as most humans had. Safe, warm, delicately tucked away inside of him, where nothing and no one could get to you. 

   His most valuable possession, most treasured jewel, most worshiped treasure. His mate. HIS! The instinctual possessiveness and protectiveness had died down a bit now that he was back in his ‘nest’ with his mate, safely stowed away in his stomach. Now feelings of regret and guilt began to fester within him as he thought about how he hadn’t really asked for permission before swallowing you.

   “Darling?” you stopped rubbing and looked up, not that you could see him, “I… I wanted to say I’m sorry…”

   You made a confused face and pressed against the lining a bit. “Why?”

   “I’m sorry for several reasons, actually.” he sighed. “I’m sorry that I wasn’t there to protect you in the first place. I’m sorry that I didn’t prevent such an event from happening. I’m sorry that you were scared and in danger while you were under my care. I’m also sorry that I ate you…”

   He paused and you cocked your head. “It’s… it’s a dragon's instinct to protect their valuables no matter what. For you… in such a position… I felt that you were too exposed, too vulnerable. Even if I had placed you in a pocket there was no guarantee that you wouldn’t get hurt. What I was sure of was my ability to protect my own body, so I decided to temporarily add you to it.”

   The dark fae wrapped his arms around his midsection and frowned. “Oh darling, I hope you can forgive me.”

   You stepped back from the wall and swung your fist at it as hard as you could. He was unable to stop a magnificently large belch from erupting past his lips, which you were quite delighted about but shoved those feelings to the side. You had caught his attention, so now it was your turn to speak. 

   “Malleus Draconia!” you said sternly, “If you think for one minute that I am going to let you blame yourself for something entirely out of your control then you’ve got another thing coming to you.”

   The half dragon stared in shock at his gut and let his jaw drop. 

   “It is in no way your fault that those jackasses decided to pick on me. In fact it was bound to happen sooner or later so it was only a matter of time. Besides you can’t be with me 24/7. It’s just not possible. So you stop being sorry about it this instance or I am going to give you the gut ache of your life!” You kicked his stomach again to prove your point and he released a deep burp into his fist. 

   “HHHHRRRRRMMMMMMMRRRRRLLLLPPPHHH!!!!”

   “Oh and another thing,” you started, “I have no idea why you would be sorry in the first place, since you saved me.” He paused and knit his eyebrows together as he thought about it. “You saved me Malleus. I’m safe. I’m safe and I’m not scared or unhappy or hurt in any way. I’m safe and in fact I’m also quite content.”

   The half dragon sat up in surprise. “Yes, that’s right.” you continued, “I am enjoying this experience deeply. True it would be a bit nicer if you could stop repressing, but I know how you feel about that. So don’t feel bad that you swallowed me to keep me safe. You probably could have swallowed me just to add some fat to your thighs and I would still be in heaven.” 

   He growled at the suggestion of him killing you, even if you would appreciate it due to your twisted sense of what's arousing and such.

   You chuckled and restarted rubbing his stomach lining. “Malleus, I love you. I trust you and your decisions. If you need to do something to keep me safe, even if it did make me slightly uncomfortable. I would still love you just as much.” 

   He began to purr again and sighed. “Thank you darling. I… I suppose you’re right.” he paused. “I love you too. So very much, and because of that, along with the fact that it is your birthday… I will indulge you as much as you like.”

   You paused and gasped. As much as you’d like…? You almost shook with excitement and Malleus chuckled, sensing your joy. “Shall I start with the usual?” You nodded vigorously, then realized he couldn’t see you and blushed in embarrassment. “Yes I would like that very much.”

   Malleus smiled at your enthusiasm and waved his left hand, conjuring a bottle of soda. He much preferred to drink from a glass and have his beverage stored in glass bottles, but for simplicity's sake he decided it would be alright to drink from a regular two liter.

   Another wave and he had sound proofed his room. Something he found himself doing often since you had begun to come over. 

   Carefully he unscrewed the bottle cap, wary of it potentially exploding. You heard the hiss of air being released and backed up against the wall in anticipation of what was coming next. The next sound you heard was a series of thick squelches and some fizzing accompanied by the noise of liquids rushing downwards. 

   Soon enough a waterfall of sweet, sugary soda cascaded through the open valve above. You squeezed your eyes shut and hissed when it splashed you as it hit the stomach bottom and mixed with the acids that pooled there.

   The liquid level around you rose steadily and you heard it bubble and hiss as it frothed incessantly upon exposure to the heat in Malleus insides. The pressure in the air doubled until it became almost too thick to breath. 

   By the time Malleus had finished the bottle, the liquid level had risen past your hips and rested just below your waist. He pulled the rim of the bottle away from his mouth and panted. Almost hesitantly he replaced the cap on the now empty bottle and placed it on the bedside table. 

   “Alright darling,” he grunted, “I’m HURP!- hah… I’m ready. Give it a good kick.” Almost immediately he felt a sharp pain in the side of his middle as you gave the inside of his gut a fierce blow. His stomach groaned loudly and the air pressure thickened harshly before Malleus opened his mouth and let out one of the loudest, deepest, longest belches you had ever heard.

“BWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOORRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUULLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUURRRRRRRRRRRRP!!!!!!!!!!!! - HACK!!!”

   It came to a close after a sheer 14 seconds of filling the room with its hellacious stench. The paintings on the walls had rattled and shaken in its wake and the bottle fell off of the table it was placed upon. 

   Your ears rung and you were sure your nose was bleeding by how intensely hot you felt. Your whole face turned a lovely shade of crimson almost as dark as Riddle’s hair. 

   Malleus gasped and moaned, letting his head fall back on the pillows. Despite his favor for elegance and manners he could never deny how simply incredible it felt to release a large amount of pressure from his stomach. 

   He puffed out his cheeks as he felt another massive burp roll up his throat.

“HHHHHHHHUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRP!!!!!”

“BRRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAPPPPPP!!!!”

“BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRLLLLLLLLCH!!!!”

“BRRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAUUUUUUUUUUUUUUOOOOOOOOOOOORRRP!!!!!!!!!”

   Several more belches, all magnificent in size, erupted past his lips and echoed throughout his bedroom. You moaned and listened as your boyfriend continuously burped without restraint. This was a once in a lifetime experience and you intended to enjoy it to the fullest.

   Finally the burps tapered off and Malleus groaned, rubbing his throat which stung a bit due to the power behind the eructations. He looked down and realized that while busy emptying his stomach of gas, he had also hacked you up. 

   The ride up had been short and tight but you hadn’t been paying all that much attention when it happened so you couldn’t say for sure if it had been uncomfortable. Rolling over on his stomach where you happened to end up, you smiled loopily up at him and he flushed looking you over.

   It made him feel nice, seeing you so small and content. While you were in danger he hadn’t gotten the chance to appreciate how simply adorable you looked, being this tiny, or how delicious.

   Malleus’ stomach growled disapprovingly at having lost its new favorite snack but he ignored it in favor of muttering a short incantation which quickly cleaned you of gut gunk. Now clean, you stood shakily since his midsection was bloated a bit, and tried to walk over to your boyfriend's chest. 

   You ended up falling over, since it was slightly like walking on a waterbed that wasn’t totally full. Malleus chuckled and you saw his eyes flash a bright green before your perspective changed rapidly. 

   It was only moments later that you found yourself, full sized once more staring into the captivating eyes of your beau. 

   “Hello darling.” he spoke softly. “Did you enjoy yourself?” You nodded rapidly and he sighed wrapping his arms around you. His hand gently runs over your hair and you let your head sit on his chest. 

   The sound of his heartbeat fills your ears and you sigh. It was quite a relaxing sound, but you still preferred the low burbles that his stomach provided. The two of you lay this way for a while, simply enjoying the presence of each other. However Malleus eventually shifts underneath you and whispers your name.

   Curiously you look up at him and he beckons you closer. 

   Closer. 

   Closer.

    Your lips touch in a brief kiss and he pulls back with a smile. “I have a birthday gift for you, but first.” He loosens his grip so he can sit up, positioning you in his lap. You shiver in anticipation when he gazes down at you greedily. Finally he leans forward enough to lick a stripe up your cheek and bite your earlobe teasingly.

“HHHHHHHHRRRRRRRRRMMMMMMMLLLLLPH!!!! - Phoosh”

   As he pulls back he suppresses a thick belch and blows the leftover fetid gas into your face. Your eyes water and you cough while inhaling deeply at the same time. You opened your eyes and Malleus could have sworn he saw hearts in them.

   “Thank you…” you breathed and he smirked. “Mmmm… as delightful as it is teasing you and getting to see...” he flicked his tongue along your lips, “taste your sweet blush. I do have an actual gift for you.”

   He moved so you could see the table where he had previously placed the soda bottle, and lifted a hand in a swift motion and whispered a few words. Suddenly a large ice cream cake appeared with a scrawled “Happy Birthday” on top. 

   The ice cream appeared to be chocolate vanilla swirl, and the frosting on top was vanilla. Decorative chocolate thorns encircled the cake’s base and had been arranged to appear as if they were climbing the dessert. Just above the wording a candle in the shape of a spinning wheel sat delicately. The spindle part was engulfed in a small green flame that danced almost eagerly as it waited to be blown out.

   You gasped and turned back to look at your boyfriend in surprise at the complicated cake he had (ordered you presumed) gifted you. The overly large size and ice cream part didn’t slip your notice and you had a feeling this night's adventures with your interests were far from over.

   “And one more thing.” Malleus spoke hesitantly, as if nervous by the next gift. He waved his hand and a small box appeared. He handed it to you and you opened it carefully. Inside sat a silver ring that had been made so detailed it looked as if it had literally been woven together with several tiny vines of thorns. Right in the middle of the ring was a small emerald which flashed in the candlelight.

   Your eyes widened and you glanced up at your beau who looked as if he was holding his breath. “It’s to signify our relationship. It’s not an engagement ring, it is meant to be worn on your right hand.” You watched as he gently slipped the ring onto your right hand. 

   In the valley of thorns we have something similar to the gallagh ring that you told me exists in your world. Instead of wearing it a different way depending on your relationship, the gemstone in the middle turns black when you are single. It turns the color of your partner's eyes when you are in a relationship, and when you become married it permanently changes to that color and the band turns gold.”

   He explained how it works in a quiet voice while you admired the pretty ring and your hand held in his. Malleus pressed a kiss to the ring and looked at you nervously. “Do you like it?”

   You threw your arms around him and smiled wide. “It’s the best gift I’ve ever received. Thank you so much Malleus.” You pulled back still smiling, he sighed in relief and smiled back. “That’s good to hear.” he looked like he was about to say something else but was interrupted by a loud growl that came from his stomach.

   “Sounds like you’re hungry. Why don’t we eat some cake?” he smirked and tightened his grip on your waist just a bit. “Hmmm. you mean, you eat some cake and I eat all the rest, only to end up with a big bloated tummy for you to rub?” You blushed fiercely. 

   “Yes, I do believe that sounds like an appropriate way to end the evening.” He leaned forward and kissed you once more. “Although you will always be the sweetest treat I have ever had the pleasure of tasting.” You giggled. “I love you too, Malleus.”

[needs-to-stop-looking-at-yigas]

Can we just. Get some sexy Mipha in this bitch??

Course you can! I do pretty much every character if you guys ask for it, not just the boys (and while I love them, I appreciate a blend).

You absolutely can?? Tbh, let's get some of the bitch going solo for once. 

"Lady Mipha! Package for you!"

Mipha nearly tripped as she dashed to the door. She had been waiting for what feels like ages for this, and was trying to behave herself. She opened her door, smiling as she saw Bazz. 

"Bazz, thank you! I've been waiting for this."

"Oh? What was so important that I couldn't have gone and fetched for you?"

"It's...uhm...personal, Bazz."

"Sincerest apologies, princess. Do let me know if there's anything I CAN do for you."

"Thank you, Bazz, it's much appreciated."

She shut the door, before sighing, and walked back to her bed. She was so glad Bazz respected a ladies privacy, she did not want to explain something like this. She had ordered something that was embarrassing. A toy. It was mating season for the female Zora, and even someone as pure as Mipha was not immune to her desires. It wasn’t her first heat, but it was the most unbearable one. Every male Zora she bumped into seemed to stir something in her, and she recalled just yesterday; accidentally bumping into Bazz, and admiring his frame. She was quite sure he could even smell the pheromones from her. Thank Hylia Sidon butted in, less she threw herself at him. It wasn’t that he wasn’t a good choice for her, but in Zora culture, a royalty’s virginity was worth its weight in gold. Had father earned she gave it to him, he’d be awfully displeased. Not just for culture, but for Bazz giving her what she wanted. She’d be disappointed in them both, so she cooped herself up in her room, for the sake of everyone.

She was rambling to herself now, trying to excuse the fact that she bought an actual dildo. It was just the fact that she wanted an actual something inside of her, something that wasn’t her fingers for once. There was no shame in her purchase, from a maturity aspect, but she was still embarrassed. She took a deep breath, before opening the box, and finally seeing it. The exact dildo she ordered. She picked the one that looked the most interesting; the smallest version of what they called a ‘monster’ dildo. It was light blue in color, had makeshift scales, a slight curve to the end. It made her a bit nervous, even the suction cup part on the bottom. 

“It’s okay, it’s okay. We’re just...testing it for now. There’s no rush to do anything you don’t feel comfortable with.”

She dug into the box, pulling out the lube bottle she also ordered. It was scented in swift violets, just how she ordered. She took another deep breath, before double checking that her door was locked, and decided to get started. She put a towel down (two, just in case) on the floor, and pushing the end against the wall. She had no idea why, but something about the fact that it stuck there so obviously, made her squeal into her hands. This was SO weird, she almost didn’t want to do this. But well...she did. She took another deep breath, before sitting down, putting her head over the bed.

“Relax. Breathe. Take it slow. No one will bother you.”

She took a deep breath, and let her hands roam her frame. She felt so warm, and her body was so sensitive, her own hands at her chest made her bite her bottom lip.

“There we go...breathe...relax…”

God she needed this. Needed to feel hands eagerly stroke her chest. While she wasn’t well endowed in terms of chest (though no Zora really was), she had heard others whisper about her chest. Things like ‘they look SO perky and cute!’ or ‘they look like they’d be SO sensitive!’. And it made her face erupt in blush. It was crude, but...if she could be so bold, they were true. Her chest WAS rather perky, and she could picture a big, kind Zora treating them so nicely. One hand continued to grope and rub at one of her breasts, while her other hand dipped between her legs, slowly rubbing at the smooth nothingness, until, finally-

“It’s...been longer than I thought.”

Her smoothness gave way, revealing an eager, wet, Zora vagina. 

“I...am alone. Suppose I don’t HAVE to use that word.”

Pussy. Pussy was fine, she was alone, she was doing something mature and reasonable for her age. She rubbed at her folds, smearing the fluids around her pussy in slow, steady circles. It HAD been too long. She opened her eyes (she didn’t recall closing them actually), looking down at the bottle next to her. Curious, she opened the bottle, added the oil to her hands, and started rubbing again. 

“That’s...uhm...oh…~”

That felt good. Really good. It smelled good, felt good, helped her fingers dip inside of her. She rode her hand for a good minute, sharp teeth biting into her bottom lip as she found herself very quickly enjoying herself. She got ahead of herself, starting to ride her fingers till she orgasmed. She tried not to, but it felt GOOD, feeling the liquid seep into her hand and onto the towel below. Her chest heaved, her body exploded in heat.

“Oh...oh...I need to do this more. That was barely ANY time.”

Her head looked up to the toy on her wall, and she felt herself grow hungry. Now. Now that she was lubed up, horny, wanting.

“Okay, don’t...don’t get carried away. Take it easy. Don’t...strain yourself.”

She scooted to it, cupping it in her hand. Such a gerth. Such a nice, lovely curve to it. How lovely. She poured oil onto it, and with her hand, stroked it into the material. The whole thing became slick in the rich smelling oil, and she pictured something...naughty. She pictured a strapping young Zora, petting her head as she kneeled in front of him, prompting her to suck him off. And she...wanted to do the same. She kissed the top of the head, finding herself giggle at the lipstick smear she left behind. It actually tastes...good too. She wanted more.

“Perhaps...just a bit more.”

She pushed the head past her lips. Her mouth feeling occupied felt...good. So good, actually. She pushed her head back and forth, slowly taking more and more until she was halfway. She sat there, slurping eagerly at the lubed, thick gerth, enjoying how the scales felt in her mouth. Not to mention the fact that she was rubbing herself the entire time. She sat there, drool and oil running down onto the floor, before she suddenly pulled away, panting something fierce.

“I...I don’t wish to cum again so soon. One...minute please.”

She continued to please the cock with her hand, as if it was an actual person waiting for her to calm down. When she felt herself peel away from the cliff or orgasm, she shakily got up, turned around, and rubbed herself against the length. Holding onto the bed, she focused on rubbing the oiled toy against her pussy, and that alone could make her cum.

“O-okay, I can do this. Nice and easy. Nice...and…”

She reached behind her to help coax the tip in, and her body froze up. This was the first time anything had been inside of her (fingers excluded), and it felt so odd. But she wanted to know more about this feeling. So, she pressed on. Slowly getting herself used to the intrusion, she took her time to grow accustomed to the feeling, before slowly pushing it further into her. About a quarter slipped inside of her, and she found her forehead pressed against the bed as she whined so loudly.

“Oh...oh...so that’s what it feels like...okay, easy don’t get...carried...away-”

She silenced herself as she pushed more into her. The wet sound of it pushing further into her made her tremble, and she shamefully found herself riding it rather eagerly. She looked past her shaking, oiled legs, watching the toy pushing itself into her over and over. She liked how it looked.

“Shhh, you can’t b-be so loud-!”

She couldn’t help it. She was moaning so loudly; forehead against the bed, hand at her chest, and the other rubbing at her little clit. She kept pushing herself against the toy, listening to the wet sounds of her pussy getting absolutely fucked by such a nice, curvy toy. Then she found herself suddenly stopping.

“What...what is that?...”

She moved again, finding the tip brush against something...good. Oh that felt good. Oh that felt SO good. She whimpered loudly as she started right back up again, letting the tip hit that same spot over and over again. She couldn’t stop herself from being loud this time, given how fast she was letting herself get DESTROYED.

“Yes yes yes yes! Right there! Right there! Please! Just a little more! A little more PLEASE!!”

She swore she saw stars as she fucked herself right into orgasm, crying out as her legs were suddenly draped in her own fluids. Oh she was so shamefully loud, her pussy clenched so tightly around the makeshift cock, it was some absolute fever dream. She sat there for a moment, gasping for air as her body tried to recover from the BEST orgasm she had ever had. She laid against the bed, ass up against the toy, face against the bed, before she slowly peeled herself off of it, watching as the toy slid out of her, still erect, as if it was already ready for round two. She chuckled, keeping her little butt up in the air, as if she wanted the imaginary Zora to get a good, long look. She was a dripping, gaping mess, and she knew it. She reached behind her to grab a fistful of her own ass, hissing in pleasure.

“I...do hope this heat lasts...just a bit longer. I no longer feel so lonely…~”