#i love all of them they all suck so much ass

[alchemistc]

Y'all were so insistent that I keep going with the Eddie Fixes It By Making It Worse post breakup fic.

This is officially a three-parter. Sorry. Or you're welcome.

You can read part one here

We have to make out in front of Tommy.

Buck's in the ice cream aisle, reminding himself that he has given himself three more days of moping and ignoring his diet before he gets his ass in gear and starts to live a life again. The Halo Top is mocking him, jeering and heckling as he goes for the Blue Ribbon. Mint chocolate, because Buck always loved it and he can almost forget the mock fight he'd had with Tommy three months in when he told Buck he refused to allow toothpaste flavored treats into his home, and how they'd barely gotten back to his place without a public indecency citation.

He stares at the text until his eyes cross.

What, he sends back, and slowly, cautiously, returns the pint of ice cream to its spot in the cooler. Maybe he should lay off the sugar. He's had enough.

Trust me

It comes in almost immediately and Buck tries to rewind, tries to figure out what any of this means, what the context is, why he's getting an actual Trust Me Bro from his best friend.

You've already met your last and it's not me comes crashing back to the forefront of his mind. He's had a full 36 hours to forget it, and he had been nearly there, nearly ready to chalk it up to Tommy trying to make him angry. Which he's been doing a really fucking excellent job of, lately. Almost like he knows all the buttons to push. Like Buck had given him the owners manual.

Tommy had meant Eddie? How could Eddie have possibly come to that conclusion? What the hell was he doing sending Buck half across town to the market for snacks when -

Buck judges the distance from this market to Eddie's. Then to Tommy's.

"Oh you mother -."

A woman squeaks by with her kid in the cart seat and glares.

---

Are you at Tommy's right now

No question marks. This is an accusation. Buck's thankful there are no perishables in his cart as he abandons it in the lane and hikes it towards the door. It's a dick move, and Buck feels, a little spitefully, like if anyone remembers him they'll remember him from the times he and Tommy giggled and play-fought down the aisles, so they'll think of Tommy when they think of the cart left behind. Resent him for it, maybe.

Not like Tommy isn't particularly good at just leaving things behind.

Yeah. Join me.

Buck breaks through the doors and feels a little woozy. This might be a panic attack. His chest fucking hurts.

🖕just get my stuff and meet me at yours. tell Tommy we burned all his shit

Eddie is an asshole. I'm not gonna LIE to the man. Also he definitely doesn't have an Evan box ready to go, so take what you will from that

Buck's still in that vicious cycle where he goes from angry to upset to sad in record time, no barriers in between, where every bruise feels like it's healing too fast so he keeps pressing in just to watch the color muddle. He hates this.

It'd be a Buck box, Buck texts back, just to release some of the pressure behind his temples, and he pulls in a few deep breaths before he jogs for the Jeep. He's gonna go home. Throw on the DVD copy of Sleepless In Seattle Tommy left behind and then maybe once that's done he'll throw the damn thing in a blender.

Are you coming or not?

Buck turns the ignition and peels out in a direction that won't lead to his own home, or the things Buck has been too much of a mopey bastard to pack up and return to their owner. At a red light two miles down the road, he shares his location.

Eddie sends back an ominous Hope you brushed your teeth today.

---

Eddie gets the door and it sucks just as much as if Tommy had. They barely ever spent time at Tommy's, and Buck can see it now for the boundary it was. When they had, though, their time had been split pretty evenly between Buck picking him up for a date, and Eddie wanting to leave the quiet echo of his own house to hang with them - a car on a lift and beers shared between them, Buck watching the pull of muscle beneath Tommy's shorts as he took Eddie down to the mat, Tommy's fingers drifting through the short curls at the back of Bucks head while Eddie yelled about triple-doubles and chatted with Tommy about how impossible coverage was for some guy named Joker.

Buck has never actually figured out who that guy was. Eddie hated the Mavericks and he hated the Lakers but Eddie also complained about the guy so much he definitely wasn't a Clipper.

Eddie gets him by the forearm when Buck shows clear signs of regretting this. Drags him through the front door before Buck can fully execute his spin and stomp back to the Jeep.

Tommy's next door neighbor had waved at him from her yard where she was doing something new with her display of bird sculptures, and Buck hadn't had the heart to do anything but raise his hand back.

It's less than ten seconds before Eddie is steering him down the hall, into the living room. It's cozy in here. Lived in. Mismatched furniture that somehow fits, a blanket thrown over the side of the couch, dark wood tables and light wood flooring and lamps that look like they came from an estate sale up in the Hills. A huge ass TV set above the mantle of a gas fireplace that Buck never even had the opportunity to see working before... Before.

Tommy is a shadow coming out of the kitchen, and Buck can't help but be a little pleased that he looks as crappy as Buck feels.

---

Eddie claps his hands together before either of them can get a word in. "Okay. Here's the thing. You're both dumbasses and there's a lot of shit that you guys gotta figure out on your own. But apparently you," he points at Tommy with the lip of a beer bottle. Corona. Tommy hates the stuff, and Buck is reminded once again how dearly Eddie loves him, "need empirical evidence that there's no deeply repressed sexual tension between Buck and I. So."

"You're insane," Tommy says, and Buck feels like snapping at him. He's probably right. This is an insane thing to do. Eddie ambushed his ex and then ambushed Buck in the frozen treats aisle and now he wants to kiss Buck to prove a point? What??

Eddie ignores it. Turns to Buck. "How do you wanna do this?"

And now would be the time, actually. Now would be the time to cut the thread, make it clean, break it for good. Only despite his protest, Tommy is staring between them and his expression looks almost... hungry. Frightened, at the same time. Oh. Oh.

He really had thought...?

Eddie's a fucking idiot. Buck doesn't want to kiss him. He's squared with the fact that he definitely had a crush when they first met and he's definitely been attracted to Eddie and just not realized it but he doesn't want Eddie. He doesn't want a life with Eddie, not like that. He doesn't- He isn't -

He loves Eddie more than almost every other person on the planet, but he's not in love with him.

Buck squares his shoulders. Nods. "Yeah, okay," and then he's taking three strides to meet Eddie at the coffee table.

---

"Oh come on, are you serious?"

Buck ignores the exclamation from the peanut gallery. Tries to figure out where to put his hands. He's never really noticed the height difference before. It's barely anything - a couple inches at most - but it feels like he's looming, this close. Which is stupid. He's been this close to Eddie a million times.

Eddie bends his knees to set the beer down. Darts his gaze back up to Buck.

Buck's seen him pull this move before, and has to bite down the urge to cackle because those big brown cow eyes have charmed women up and down California and probably plenty of Texas too but the only time Buck's ever seen them look genuine was when he was looking at Shannon.

He's got a good face. Angular in all the right places, expressive in a way a lot of men try to hide. Good eyelashes, clear skin.

Eddie gets a thumb in one of Buck's belt loops and tugs.

It's a good move. It's a move that has inspired Buck to sink to his knees on more than one occasion with the right men. Man. Just the one man.

He desperately bites back a giggle when the front of their thighs brush and Buck feels nothing more than the heat coming off Eddie.

Eddie's flushed, just a little, like he's well aware how ridiculous this all is, but he's got his I'm So Fucking Serious face on and there is a part of Buck, something fucked up and broken and wrong, that wonders how Tommy would feel to see it. To know that Buck is out there in the world kissing people who aren't Tommy. It's not like he'd ended things because he didn't care for Buck, because he wasn't attracted to him. It's gotta sting, right?

Buck gets a hand on Eddie's waist, just above his hip bone. He's never actually paid attention to how much more slim Eddie is, before, how big Buck's hands feel against him.

The night Tommy had first kissed him, Buck had spent an indeterminate length of time replaying every second of the interaction. The lead up, the frank honesty, the way Buck's entire body had followed the flow of Tommy's. Heart racing, body thrumming: when Tommy had ducked his head, when he'd laughed, when he'd opened up his body language and dropped a tiny morsel of his heart, Buck had felt himself drawn in.

The lips that had caught his had set him alight.

Eddie shifts his weight and blinks up at him and for half a second Buck wants this to be a good kiss - earth shattering, life changing. He wants to feel it. Wants it to be better than every kiss he and Tommy ever shared.

The pointer and middle finger he uses to tilt Eddie's chin up are petty as hell.

[stoopidpigeonxx]

⋆˚｡⋆୨✧୧˚ 𝑶 𝑪𝒂𝒑𝒕𝒂𝒊𝒏, 𝒎𝒚 𝑪𝒂𝒑𝒕𝒂𝒊𝒏. ˚୨✧୧⋆｡˚⋆ (PT. 2)

OKOKOK I MADE THE PART TWO PLS STOP YELLING AT MEEEE

NSFW under the cut. MDNI.

Characters/fandoms: Captain Curly, Mouthwashing Content warnings: Smut, obvi, p in v whatt, curly being a SLOPPYYYYY eater, praise (from you and him), boobs, tits even, curly being 𝓯𝓻𝓮𝓪𝓴𝔂, alot of dirty talking, etc. Our boy curlys a bit of perv.

-Manners? What manners?

Curly is a, what do you kids call it... a munch? Yes. If he goes down on you, and he most likely will, he will be SLOPPY with it. I'm talking drooling all over your cunt, licking it from top to bottom, shaking his head side to side and pressing wet kisses to your clit. It's ironic, really, since he's so polite in and out of bed, but he doesn't really care about a mess if it means pleasuring you. What's a little mess? Sheets can be washed.

"Sorry *kiss* about the mess, sweetheart.. *kiss* can't *kiss* help myself."

-Beautiful tits. And rack. Love it.

When asked the question 'ass, tits or thighs,' he's gonna pick tits. He's a titty guy. Sure, your ass and thighs are nice too, and he gives them an equal amount of love, but nothing can beat the feeling of shoving his face into your boobs when he's thrusting in and out of you. It has something to do with hearing your heartbeat and how fast it is, but mostly he just likes suffocating between your twins. And if he's particularly stressed, he'll just set you on his desk and lift your shirt up and go to town. Sucking, squeezing, rubbing, all that. His favorite stress balls. And god forbid the day you get nipple piercings... He's mindlessly playing with the metal with his teeth, enjoying the feeling of the cold brass on his tongue. You'll have to wear bandaids. (which he'll apply, apologizing profusely.)

-Praise me for sin.

Call this man a good boy and he's whining and shaking. It goes both ways with him. He loves getting praised, and he loves praising. A few of his favorites.. "You're doing such a good job." "Look at you, taking everything like a champ." "God, you're gorgeous." "Good girl." "You're so pretty, baby.." "Atta-fuckin-girl." He knows you fold every time for that kind of talk, so he makes sure to say at least one while you're getting naughty. On the other hand, some of his favorites to hear.. "That's a good boy." "Thank you." (Manners.) "I love you so much." "You're too good." "Fuck, that's good." Hearing how good of a job he's doing is only fuel for him to keep going, and gets him hard as a rock. So, use that mouth. (Unless its occupied, wink wink.)

-He babbles when he comes.

When he's right on that edge, he goes a bit dumb. You feel so warm and good, and he's so fucking close, and his brain just loses all ability to form coherent thoughts. So he just mumbles whatever comes out of his mouth in that adorable whiny subby voice. (You know the one.) "Fuuuuck too good too good too good.. baby.. g'na make me come, coming, coming." Or just a chorus of 'yes' over and over. Its really cute because he tries to be quiet with it, but his brain is so broken that he can't control his volume too well. He has to shove his face into your shoulder or a pillow to muffle himself so the crew doesn't overhear.

-Can't stop, won't stop.

Will not give up until you come, no matter how sore his cock is or how cramped his legs are. He wants you to come as many times as possible before the night is over, and he's willing to overwork himself to achieve that. You've told him its okay, but he doesn't really care. Feeling you clench around him and ride out your orgasm is the best thing he's ever felt, so he's gonna have you coming at least 3 times each session. Unless, of course, you're begging him to stop since its too much. He'd never want to hurt you. He'd pull out and lay with you for a while and let your body calm down before starting up again. "Take it easy, angel. I'm right here. It's okay, you're doing so well." (Why does his dirty talk sound like him coaching you through birth?? 😭)

[1moreff-creator]

What are some dynamics (in terms of like, foils/parallels) that you enjoy in DRDT?

you’re staring at a forest and asking me for every tree i like. do you want me to write another 28k word post /lh

I jest, of course, but not about the number of interesting foils in this series. It does a fantastic job tying everyone into several key themes in ways that make their dynamics endlessly enriching for my silly little character parallel-loving brain. So, uh, get ready for a long-ish post?

CW: One mention of self-harm, self-loathing

Teruko-David: I mean, you gotta start at the center, yeah? David’s the closest thing to a “main antag” we have, and it’s no wonder; the guy’s built like a standard DR protag, obviously he’s gonna have a cool dynamic with the actual protagonist. 

These two could breathe a bit weird and somehow parallel each other doing it, that’s how much this foil permeates both their characters. From their fatalistic outlooks on the world (“my luck will always be terrible, I’ll always be betrayed” vs “people can’t change, the world sucks”), the ways they hide their feelings (Teruko was more distrustful than she first presented herself as, but cares about people more than she shows during most of CH2; while David has an entire different persona up to 2-11 and then pretends to be worse than he actually is), the self-loathing (Teruko refuses to think she could be a good person, David has the whole “inhuman” thing going on), down to the oddball sibling figure (Terubro “I know nothing about you” Tawaki vs Diana “I’m not even sure you exist” Chiem).

There’s their feelings about Xander and Min, too, which are all over the place. Obviously we all saw in 2-12 how much the British twink fucked both of them up severely, with Teruko rejecting any positive or yearning feelings she may have had about Xander (you can’t hide the cactus scene from us girl) while David vehemently defended him from any criticism. On the other side, Min is less of a narrative poltergeist (for now; XF-Ture exists), but she still comes up with them, with David calling her pathetic eleven episodes after Min hugs Teruko and Teruko’s internal monologue gives away how much she cares about the Student. 

And these parallels play into their weird-ass dynamic very well, because their beefing is founded on their similarities and their differences, out of projecting their self-loathing to someone similar at the same time they hate each other because of their disagreements on things like Xander. Crazy stuff.

Xander-Min: Mentioning these two second because they’re also Eternal Parallels. There’s almost not a single thing about these two that isn’t somehow reflected on the other. If you projected them onto each other’s direction, you would get no perpendicular component. Get it, ‘cuz they’re completely parallel- That is, by far, the nerdiest joke I’ve ever made, I apologize.

But come on. Their attitudes towards fate (the Rebel fighting it and Min resigning herself to the XF-Ture thing), the whole “holding on to the past vs wanting to move on from the past” thing, the similarities between how they actually feel about the education system (they have issues with it) contrasted with the things they actually do in respects to that (Min is still the Ultimate Student, but Xander dislikes that), their already mentioned contrasting connections to Teruko and David… Just, absolutely everything about them is a meaningful contrast. And it comes into play a lot, with their eternal beef being born largely out of these parallels. They’re awesome.

Teruko-Ace: Pretty topical for post-CH2. Ace’s entire arc is sort of a reflection of Teruko’s, yet taken to the extreme because of one particular point of contrast; Ace feared death, Teruko doesn’t think she can die. But he still basically serves as a demonstration of all the flaws in Teruko’s all mindset; the feeling of unchangeable fate, the complete lack of trust, all the good stuff. It basically allows an exploration of Teruko’s mindset from an outside perspective, which makes it easier to see the flaws in it.

Ace-Nico: Also topical, these recap foils go kinda insane. Their motives for murder, their contrasting talents (love for animals on Nico's side and fear of horses on Ace's), the way they relate to the rest of the cast, Ace's persecution complex vs Nico actively disliking how much Hu defends them, etc., it’s all very fun to see play out. 

Ace-Levi: The one who doesn’t care but protects others and tries his best to be a good person so he can be accepted in society without having issues, vs the guy that acts like an asshole because he’s scared of caring too much and he thinks the only way he can get out alive is by being the only one to survive. This leads to a fundamental misunderstanding between them that causes some of the most doomed yaoi of all time, which is the whole “Levi getting frustrated at not understanding Ace.” 

Arei-David: You’ve presumably watched 2-13, so I don’t think I need to explain all the awesome stuff that’s come from their shared themes of “good people” and self-betterment and all that. Not to mention, David’s little breakdown over Arei trusting the letter of the only friend she had being presumably born from the way he saw Xander as the only friend he had. Shit goes crazy.

Arei-Eden: Recap foils… Good people… The choice to be kind… Etc… Woah :O

Teruko-Charles: Ah, Teru’s recap foil. This one’s basically opposite of Ace’s, where Charles used to be sort of like Teruko acted in CH2, but later became a bit friendlier, if still somewhat prickly. Basically, if Ace highlights Teruko’s character traits from CH2, Charles post CH1 serves as more or less the “end goal” in a way. It goes beyond that, too, with the whole memory issues (prosopagnosia vs childhood amnesia) and, again, mysterious siblings (Terubro and Elliot what are your deals), so it’s always neat to rotate these two in the brain.

Veronika-Levi: We really don’t know too much about Vero, which always makes it a bit harder when analyzing these dynamics, but they already got some interesting points of contrast. Neither of them are particularly concerned about the deaths of the others, at least post-CH2 (Levi doesn’t grieve and Vero actively laughs at Ace’s death), but it comes from almost opposite ends of perspective. Levi doesn’t understand others because he doesn’t feel much empathy (if any at all), while Vero seems to treat the others not as people, but almost as characters to be analyzed (that’s the impression I get, at least), which makes her come off as very good at reading people but also occasionally causes her to see them as sources of entertainment first and foremost. Not to mention there’s also the fact they’re both very different people than they were in the past (Levi was some form of delinquent and now is a good person, Vero used to be outdoorsy and then no longer was). Wow that’s… more than I thought there was- How am I finding more interesting foils just by writing more???

Hu-Levi: I kinda talked about this in my CH2 PT2 analysis so read that ig.

J-Rose: A pair of recap foils who haven’t had too much yet, but a lot of their themes, in particular about fate and privilege and stuff, are pretty noticeable with them, so this is always a fun dynamic to consider.

Levi-Arturo: More recap foils, this one’s fun because of the dead family member :) Also things like their talents being related to aesthetics and both doing the things they do for a better life.

Veronika-Hu: This one’s kinda more hypothetical, since Vero in particular hasn’t had as much direct focus as other characters yet, but that’s part of what makes them fun. Past history of self-harm (even if brought on by very different feelings) is just the first of many parallels they could have, and it’s fun to see the contrast between Hu defending Nico to the ends of the Earth and Vero talking about how much she likes Arturo because of how awful he is. They’re really silly.

David-Whit: All the recap foils are fun, but I've always struggled to see this one in particular. Partly because I feel like I know less about Whit than I know about Mai :v Still, certain things like Whit ignoring anything that upsets him which connects to David constantly lying about his real feelings for his fans, which is probably what leads to David's outburst at Whit in the second trial.

Teruko-MonoTV: Because fate. Really this is here plainly because it’s just a funny as hell dynamic to even consider lol.

Teruko-Mai: Have they interacted? Has Mai had enough screen time to truly determine that this parallel truly exists? Do we even know a single theme that Mai’s character touches on for certain? No and it doesn’t matter! Because these two are clearly connected somehow and the whole “someone dearly loved - someone dearly unloved” thing makes me ill. Mai is getting mentioned in this post and you're not stopping it.

Mai-Whit: Fuck it! “We tend to idolize the dead” dynamic!!! It's very speculative, but this one’s just fun to ponder even if we have even less idea of what could be going on between the two than with Mai-Teruko.

Anyways ready for a few themes that run through a lot of characters?

David-Levi-Nico-Rose: The “feeling disconnected from the rest of humanity’s experiences” gang!!!

Min-Rose-Hu-Veronika-Arturo: The “wants to move on from the past” gang!!!

Min-Arei-Teruko-Ace: The “trying to fix mistakes” gang!!!

Teruko-David-Eden-Arei-Levi-Xander: The “what makes a good person?” gang!!!

Teruko-David-Xander-Min-J-Whit-Ace-Rose-MonoTV-Probably everyone else: Fate!!!!

And there’s more than I’m probably forgetting because I can’t possibly check every conceivable connection between these guys. At least I hope I covered most of the major ones. Thanks for the ask, these dynamics are always fun to think about!

[brotherwtf]

Do you think Gale would be into rimming?

with his oral fixation? taking Bucky to pound town with just his fucking tongue I fear

I think Gale LOVES to spend hours just chomping on John's body, kissing and sucking and biting marks into his skin all fucking day, all while John tries not to fuss and lets Gale get his kicks taking him slowly apart

maybe one day Gale forced John face down so he could worship his ass, God John has a fantastic ass and Gale loves to bite marks into it, loves to press kisses and leave bruises so that John is always reminded of who he belongs to, and maybe Gale slides his tongue dangerously close to John's perineum and John basically jumps, a surprised moan getting punched from him

and Gale stops because he thinks he hurt John, but John just tells him to continue, he likes it, and Gale nods, holding the back of John's thighs down with his forearms and spreads John's cheeks, licking a hot stripe from his balls to his hole, and fuck John doesn't know why he likes this so much, it just overwhelms his senses so much and in such a good way he presses Gales head in further so he can use his tongue even more

Gale fucking goes to town on John's hole, alternating between pressing the flat of it against it and pseudo-fucking him on his tongue, using a bruising grip to keep John nice and spread open and the weight from his chest to keep John from squirming, and Johns a fucking mess, hands gripped in the sheets and panting open mouthed, trying to keep his legs from kicking but he can't, he's just so overwhelmed

and Gale could spend hours fucking John's hole with his tongue, it's just so good and mind numbing for them both geez what saps

[cowboylikeyouu]

i finally watched the making of deadpool & wolverine and wrote down every thought that popped up into my mind while watching, have fun lol

god hugh jackman is gorgeous

they’re talking about all the different ideas they had for this movie and honestly??? i would eat up every single one of them they should still do it lol

god hugh jackman is GORGEOUS

man i missed them sm i haven’t watched dp&w in TWO MONTHS?????

i will never shut up about the deadpool suit in this movie it’s SO AWESOME it’s a blessing for my eyes every time it’s on screen

"that’s what we were striving for with rdj in endgame, is to give this iconic fictional character an amazing ending." yeah well only that endgame‘s ending SUCKED and i will never forgive anyone for it <3

ugh hugh jackman is gorgeous

i could watch him speak forever

i‘m SO glad ryan made that "i should use his body as a weapon" pitch bc GODDAMN that opening scene will never get old

ahhhhhh i love that we‘re getting some insight in the stunt/fight stuff, SO interesting !! the shitty iphone test videos are hilarious

they should’ve made a "he ACTUALLY broke his toe when he kicked that helmet!!!!" reference when ryan kicked logan‘s skull lmao

the marry puppins SNOGGING ryan bts clips will never get old lmao funniest shit ever

THE SUIT LOOKS SO GOOD UGHHHH am i having a gender or a sexuality crisis over it???? guess we’ll never know

EMMA CORRIN ILYSM

shout out to british people gotta be one of my fav genders fr

all the different lines ryan screamed out of the honda????😭😭 honestly they should’ve just kept all of these idc about logic

EMMA CORRIN

"and i knew the fans would love it" ohhh hugh i think we all love it a bit too much

"and yet, i wouldn’t say wolverine is a straight man" awesome, thanks, case fucking CLOSED.

"which i don’t recommend, sending a 10 minute voice memo to anyone"

*me looking at the five 10-20 minute voicemails i send my friends every single day*

THE SUITS LOOK SO GOOD TOGETHER (their asses do as well)

GOD hugh jackman is gorgeous

"what we refer to as the van fight" no babe that’s the honda odyssey sex marathon actually!!

"violence is our love language" ITS CONFIRMED (everyone knew. BUT STILL)

choreographing this scene (all the deadpool vs wolverine fight scenes really) must’ve been SO FUN like UGH just coming up with all this violence knowing that it won’t affect your characters in the long haul and you can add of many of it as you want????? THE DREAM

THEM HUGGING IN THE HONDA???😭😭 brb gotta cry

I LOVE YOU EMMA CORRIN

CHRIS EVANS LOML

it’s unfair how attractive he is i‘m gonna throw up

reminder to myself to finally learn johnny‘s monologue i wanna be able to randomly hit people with it

OHHHH i actually did NOT realize that was hulk‘s bed from ragnarok??? which is weird bc i used to watch that movie religiously. but hey that’s so cool!!

channing tatum talking about gambit is so heartwarming man so happy for him😭

jennifer garner is so pretty i‘m so gay lord help

me

dafne keen‘s voice sounds SO different when she’s not playing laura, CRAZY

EMMA CORRIN MY LOVE

just once just ONCE i wanna walk through a street filme set like this UGH it looks so cool & surreal

"this is our baby yoda" i have to be this annoying person i‘m sorry but HIS NAME IS GROGU

i don’t know shit about music but i could listen to people talk about movie scores for hours on end (how did you know sideways is my fav youtube video essayist???)

good fucking god hugh jackman is gorgeous

lmao they should’ve kept the "zoooombies wake uuuppp" again, idc about logic

EMMA CORRIN ‼️‼️‼️

ohh hugh jackman is gorgeous (put your greasy tits away you preening slut)

ugh i‘m getting emotional help

well that was awesome, gonna cry myself to sleep now byeee

(have i mentioned how gorgeous hugh jackman is?)

[mychlapci]

I think Megatron sucks spike with hella teeth but Optimus loves having his spike gnawed on so it's a perfect match

bonus points if Optimus is like suuuuper ashamed of how much he loves it I love a guy with a fat cock full of shame it's so pathetic I need him mewling full of dread while Megatron is actively chewing that shit up and leaving dents that Ratchet will be beating OPs ass for later bc he should not have to keep treating him for this

- burrito anon

Megatron's meat grinder blowjobs !! Optimus hates them but he loves them. Can't get off without having his dick chewed on, much to his own shame. He comes back to Ratchet with his finials down and his dick in his hand all chewed up and bleeding. Ratchet hates it so much.

Promoting my Megatron pussy teeth propaganda here. He should suck dick sharp and take dick sharp. One time Optimus comes to the medbay waddling and wincing and he shows Ratchet is mauled dick and Ratchet literally has to ask him if he tried to fuck a wood shredder.

[rootspiral]

WANDAVISION DEEP DIVE part 1

(Wandavision entries: [1][2][3])

(AAA entries: [1][2])

After managing to keep away from social media for almost two months, here comes Agatha All Along sucking me back in 🙃 I want to rewatch the whole thing and see how many details I can catch, but I guess I might as well go through Agatha's scenes in Wandavision first. and you guys are coming with me!! we can all hyperfixate together (spoilers from both WV and AAA below. this is going to be just a stream of consciousness as I go through scenes, don't expect anything elaborate)

SO.

Agatha arrives in Westview attracted by Wanda's Hex. She might already suspect she's dealing with the Scarlet Witch because lbr, who has that sort of power? She takes a calculated risk to come investigate (detective Agnes of Westview on the case!) It's funny that her calculated risks are always way more emotional than she'd admit, because who in their right mind comes after the SW? But all that power is too alluring, so Agatha takes possession of Ralph's house, ruins the market value adding a creepy basement and brainwashes him into being her husband/minion/pet.

And now it's time to do what she does best, con artist is gonna con! I adore that Agatha became one of the most infamous witches in history thanks mostly to her improv skills.

She's a magical gal is a small time locale!! he's a husband who's part machiiiiiine (great now it'll get stuck in my head again)

worth nothing that both witches and androids have historically and culturally been used as queer allegories, and here's a very sapphic witch pretending to be a straight 1950s housewife and another witch who's got an elaborate fantasy going on where her husband is able to pass and all their problems are sitcom-level fixable.

How to solve the Hex mystery according to Agatha Harkness:

step #1, casually fish for personal info

step #2, flirt with your suspect (obviously)

she literally asks if Wanda's single ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

AGATHA

she's lying it on soooo thick

she dropped that pot so deliberately LMAOO stinky chaotic goblin

knowing she' s being an asshole on purpose makes this scene 100 times funnier tbh

(also a moment of silence for Sharon's irreparable trauma. her last words will be "Wanda, I'm begging you, let him breathe, please")

episode 2: Agatha keeps being a menace

And knowing now that she's always playing a part and her real personality is much more emo makes it easier to spot when she slips out of character

"was that too much? might rein it down a lil bit" (btw I'm still suspicious of Dennis the mailman and totally expect a big reveal in Westview season 3)

I'm betting that this was Agatha rather than Agnes too. she's so miserable lol. she hates playing this part so much. and that wig is hideous

not Agatha casually planting the idea of children in Wanda's head. She probably was the one making people chant "for the children" too. literally manipulating Wanda into showing her if she can create life, calculated risk my ass, she's out here playing with fire

(does that mean that Agatha is a liiiiiiitle bit Billy's and Tommy's parent too?? she planTED the sEED. hear me OUT.)

you know she was dead inside at having to sit through the whole talent show. she probably took it out on the contestants and made them trip onstage or something

Episode 3 of pappappa pappappa wandavision!

Agatha helping Wanda to pick baby clothes, I'm going to sob. (look at this technicolor filter! modern shows CAN color their shit! it's just that they'd rather make everything look like muddy ass instead)

not much from Agatha this episode except scheming to get Monica kicked out of the Hex, seeing as she's the biggest obstacle between herself and Wanda ('s powers). Also you know she was stalking the house to keep track of when the babies were born. Also also, the painted scenery! Like mother like son, it's such a big hint about the nature of the Road.

look at this piece of shit, I love her so much. And she does tend to wink when she's just told a truly egregious lie, doesn't she? it's like her little signature.

Agatha in episode 5 coming in like: LEMME SEE THOSE BABIESSSSSSS

kathryn hahn with 80s curls is doing something to me, let me tell you

so manipulative, in so many ways. and knowing what we know now about Agatha and children, imagine the turmoil inside of her!! triumph at having confirmation of Wanda's life-giving powers. nervousness about the mess she's putting herself in. exasperation at having to keep up the charade. and, most importantly, getting to HOLD A BABY BOY AFTER ALL THIS TIME (amazing, terrifying, traumatic, wonderful)

what is she doiiiing. this bitch, I swear.

OH MY GAWD I FORGOT WANDA SAID THIS. "so she keeps coming at me like a cat in heat, that's not her fault Vision, she has a Medical Condition"

"kids. can't control them. no matter how hard you try"??????? the suddenly wistful voice?????????????????????? why don't I fling myself off a cliff?????????????????? was this woman actually honestly dying inside while still having to play pretend, I can't, I cannot. And how much of Agatha's backstory was decided at this point, was Kathryn given a general idea?

Agatha and Billy, partners in crime already! Seriously, Jac Schaeffer must have had an idea of where this was going. And it's obvious in retrospect that Agatha would be drawn to Billy the most, he's a witch unlike Tommy and he's such a polite, sweet little fellow, he probably reminded her of Nicky so much?? Here's this scary dangerous witch who on one side is planning to murder everyone in the room, and on the other is fighting back the urge to go full mama bear on this kid and protect and cherish him forever. This is not what she signed up for when she decided to stalk Wanda!

She is so horrible. She is despicable. I'm allowed to say it because I love her so much! I can't remember, was it revealed that she turned a fly into a dog or something? Or did she kidnap a dog dog from a shelter / someone's garden and then stone cold killed him? No, wait, she made Ralph kill him. Do your own killing of cute innocent little creatures, you coward! Love that vest tho.

"Fix the dead!" "You can do that?" And of course she's pretending here but you know that's EXACTLY what this whole sordid Sparky affair was about, she's testing and prodding at Wanda's powers, trying to figure out her limits. There's an eagerness here that she doesn't need to fake. Who knows, maybe she was actually squeamish about killing the dog (she does have a cuddly bunny and woves him vewy much), hence why Ralph had to do it. But more importantly even if she didn't like killing a pet, even if she wasn't happy about traumatizing these kids - that's exactly what she's doing here, she's willingly hurting two children - she went and did it anyway, because her thirst for Wanda's powers is too big. She kills witches out of anger, out of fear and self-preservation. She is ultimately a selfish person, and that is what makes her a villain. It's not that she doesn't have feelings. She has plenty of feelings, she has a conscience, and she chooses to do the bad thing anyway.

"And we can't reverse death. No matter how sad it makes us. Okay? Some things are forever." These two shows above all else are about grief. You can peel this scene and find more and more layers, it was about the kids losing Sparky at first but also about Wanda losing Pietro, Wanda losing Vision, Wanda losing the kids. And it's also, DEFINITELY about Agatha losing Nicky. I need a drink.

Agatha discreetly wiping a tear in the background nbd

And I can only upload 30 pictures per post so there's going to be a part two. I was NOT planning to write so much, help. What are you doing to me AGATHA

go to part 2

[nomorethoughts]

HAIII i voted smile :))))

could i please please please ask for redstone snap + grian? underrated ot3 honestly 🥺🥺

I HAD SO MUCH FUN WRITING THIS HELLO! thank you for voting mumscott, here's a little something for your ot3!

i decided to go with a modern au (not RPF)! oh and i just want to note a cw for a mild innuendo if that's something you want to avoid ^-^

★

Scott leans against one side of Mumbo, while Grian leans up against the other. It’s a tight squeeze for three people under one umbrella, but they make it work to remain sheltered from the rain on the sidewalk.

A car rushes by, sloshing water up onto the sidewalk, and Mumbo shudders as he takes a step back. His partners, glued to his respective sides, follow suit.

“Listen, I can do cold, and snow, and even wind in the winter, but this is just gross,” Grian complains.

“Thank God you’re prepared, Mumbo,” Scott says. “We’d have just been waiting out here freezing our asses off without you.”

“I’m still freezing, Scott!” Grian insists, and at that, Scott laughs.

“Did I not tell you both to bring jackets?” Mumbo teases.

“Yep, and we both forgot,” Scott admits innocently.

Mumbo sighs, shaking his head. “Unbelievable. How do you both forget coats in the winter?”

“Like I said,” says Grian, “it’s the rain that’s the problem. I’d be perfectly fine if it wasn’t raining.”

“Okay, look,” says Mumbo. “This sucks, okay? Let’s… I don’t know, just pass the time. What’s the first thing you want to do when we get back to the flat?”

“Get out of these clothes,” Scott answers immediately, and Mumbo shoots him a look. He laughs, waving him off with one hand. “Not like that, I’m just soaked and cold! Although now that you mention it, it would be great if–”

“Grian, what about you?” Mumbo interrupts, blushing a little as he smiles at his other partner.

“What Scott said,” Grian agrees.

“Which part?”

“Yes.”

Mumbo laughs and shakes his head. “No, come up with something new too.”

Grian hums thoughtfully for a moment. “Tea,” he then decides. “I want to make each of us a cup of tea.”

“Ooh, I like that,” Scott agrees. “I picked up a new blend yesterday, did you want to try that?”

“Oh, I forgot about that!” says Grian. “That sounds so lovely.”

Scott looks over at Mumbo. “Your turn,” he says, nudging him lightly, “first thing you want to do?”

“Shower,” Mumbo says decisively. “Definitely a hot shower.” His partners hum and nod in agreement.

A minute later, the bus is making its turn around the corner, pulling up to the curb. Mumbo reluctantly closes his umbrella, leaving the three of them momentarily exposed to the elements, but it isn’t long before the doors fold open, and the three of them board. The warm, dry atmosphere is welcome as they take their seats headed for home.

It would seem that they found a way to pass the time after all.

@scottsmajorshipbracket

[alleiradayne]

I haven't said much personally about Veilguard besides sharing my Rook and a few other silly things, but I do have a couple thoughts now that I'm so very far into my playthrough (halfway at about 50 hours).

I know the music hasn't hit like some hoped it would. I agree that it is not as good as Inquisition. That's still my favorite OST of the series. I understand BioWare wanted a new composer for the next game because each game has had a different composer. But given how very connected Inquisition and Veilguard are, I disagree with that premise and thought they should have stuck with Morris, and not only for that reason. He's a fucking musical genius.

All that said, I do enjoy Zimmer's and Balfe's work on this OST. It's not bad. I was shittalking the main theme for weeks after it came out but when you mash it up with the actual opening of the game, it fits. And I like all the softer versions of it, the less complicated takes with less instrumentation. And there are other tracks that call back to Inquisition. No, I'm not referring to the cameos where Morris's actual tracks were used. I'm talking about Zimmer/Balfe's new content where they threaded callbacks to Inquisition. Once I finish the game, I'm going to do a much deeper analysis of the Veilguard OST, but for now, I'm enjoying it as I play the game (I don't want to listen to the OST before I finish the game itself).

A couple other thoughts in shorter form:

The combat is fun. Compared to previous games, it's dynamic enough that, while there are patterns, you still have to be on your toes. Yes there's the rock, paper, scissors of get rid of armor, get rid of barrier, then spam left click/spells. But you know what, compared to the previous games, I'm enjoying that. It's a nice change of pace. I'm also playing a Mourn Watch Death Mage, so there's some nice flavor there.

Skin texture sucks. It's too smooth. It gives everyone a cartoonist look. I hate it.

Hair is fucking gorgeous. I just wish there were more styles I liked.

The story and quests are fantastic.

I find the dialogue to be a fun balance between seriousness, camp, and exposition.

Now on to my biggest fucking complaint about the game so far and given what I've read (without spoiling anything), I'm ultimately going to be disappointed in the long-run by the romances. My mage committed to Emmrich and I love him. He's wonderful. Read on for some spoilery-ish facets of his romance.

SPOILERS

He's an artist. Both with his magic and his words. He's sophisticated and overly romantic in such a respectful way. Rook's interest in him takes him by surprise because I believe canonically there's an age gap (that I headcanon away), but it's adorable. Plus, graveyard dates. He's very Gomez Addams but without all the public displays of affection (which I also headcanon away because fuck that noise).

END SPOILERS

My last point in the spoilers section about Emmrich's romance is my biggest complaint of the game. There's very little actual romance! And it's because you can't roll up to your companions at any given time and open a dialogue with them. There's no open conversation option. You only get to talk to them if they have a time-sensitive marker or a quest marker on their icon on the map. No free smooches on the ramparts!

And the romance moments we do get are so few and far between in a game that is absolutely massive, not in terms of map size this time, but in terms of content. There is so much good content (as opposed to the shit side quests of collecting 10 bear asses in the Hinterlands of Inquisition). The side quests all feel directly tied to the area's story so they all feel worth doing. We're never doing dumb shit like drawing constellations in the sky or finding shards through tranquil mage skulls (don't ever forget that they used the skulls of mages forced into tranquility specifically for this purpose).

Now I'm not through the whole game yet, but I'm hearing and seeing that there's next to no nudity. Given that on top of the lack of open convos and sparse romantic content, I'm bummed. I still love Emmrich, and I know I'll enjoy the others when I do get to them (because I plan on it). But damn. I was hoping for Desk Scene (iykyk) levels of spice outta this crew.

That's it. Halfway through the game and this is how I feel so far. I'm thoroughly enjoying the game and will continue to binge it. I have Rooks planned for the rest of the companions, too. Femme elf rogue crow to romance Davrin, femme qunari warrior lords of fortune to romance Harding, femme human shadow dragon rogue to romance Neve, femme elf warrior veil jumper to romance Bellara, masc elf mage grey warden to romance Lucanis.

I'd like to see your thoughts!

[organised-disaster]

I can't be trusted. When I refer to "my babygirl" it could one of four people (and six entities)

A 16 year old boy

A ~15 year old girl

A plant

A grown ass man with a drinking problem

An agender ghost

A fat yellow dinosaur

[starwarjotta]

Day 5 - caf since my scribbles can be totally illegible, here’s a transcript Obi-Wan: Here you go, Cody Cody: Oh, thanks, sir Cody: this... it’s caf? Obi-Wan: Ah, yes! I’ve noticed my teas are not really to your tastes, so I stocked up some caf for you instead! I hope it’s okay Cody: ... oh Cody: ...thank you.

[jame7t]

knowing there was going to be a general grievous Star Wars movie & it got canned years ago & now “the mandalorian and grogu” is gonna be the next theatrical Star Wars movie makes me wanna pume. I want to see general grevious as the wolf of Wall Street not Dave Filoni’s Infinity War.

[ruvviks]

All That's Left follows two journalists and their friends in post-apocalyptic United States as they travel from the fallen east coast megalopolis Opportunity back to Los Angeles, crossing through a harsh wasteland overrun with zombies— only to find out that there is a lot more life left than what the protected cities want them to believe. On their journey they meet dozens of people living their lives as peaceful as possible away from military forces, corporations, and corrupt governments; and they learn that the same mutated ghouls that took down Opportunity are spreading rapidly through the country, destroying everything in their path. Will this finally be the end of the world as we know it?

taglist (opt in/out)

@shellibisshe, @florbelles, @ncytiri, @hibernationsuit, @stars-of-the-heart;

@vvanessaives, @katsigian, @radioactiveshitstorm, @estevnys, @adelaidedrubman;

@celticwoman, @rindemption, @carlosoliveiraa, @noirapocalypto, @dickytwister;

@killerspinal, @euryalex, @ri-a-rose, @velocitic, @thedeadthree

[hajihiko]

One of my VERY favourite ideas is when like. Family is supposed to look out for you, in theory, but they don't. And you just get used to that, you look out for yourself, etc. But then you meet the people who have no obligation to look out for you, but consistently choose to, and they pick up the slack you didn't realize was there. And it's just obvious to them. Of course I'd do that, in what world would I not?

[moongothic]

You know we all meme about how Luffy doesn't give a shit about his parents/Dragon, how he seemingly has no interest in learning about the man or meeting him at all, and like yeah that is a Luffyism

And for a long time I figured Baby Luffy would be the same too; that Luffy in his naïvete just accepted he must've spawned from the ocean itself into Garp's care or something, not realizing he should in fact have parents, thus Luffy's seeming disinterest in them

But you know what

Luffy did spend most of his early childhood alone

Sure, he had Garp, but it seems like Garp wasn't always there to look after him every day, he had his duties as a Marine too. Had Garp been there 24/7 all year then Garp would never have allowed Luffy to interact with Shanks (a filthy pirate) to begin with. So yes, Luffy had his grandpa, but not all the time. And sure, Luffy also had Shanks, but Shanks didn't spend all his time in Fuusha Village either, he came and went whenever he pleased too until his final departure when Luffy was just six years old. And yes, there was everyone else in the village too, people who cared about Luffy and were helping look after him. But Luffy's early childhood was one without a stable family.

It wasn't until Garp yeeted the child into Dadan's care that Luffy actually gained a proper family, where after months and months of trying Luffy managed to win Ace's trust and gained Sabo as a brother too. But as we know, by that point Luffy already hated being alone

All of this to say; Luffy growing up essentially orphaned would explain why he's so afraid to be alone, the way he clings onto people

In some ways Luffy's POV is meant to be the reader's POV, to some degree Luffy's feelings and thoughts are meant to be how we the readers feel and think about whaveter is happening in the story. Not a 100% by any means, but somewhat at the very least.

Perhaps Luffy's lack of interest in Dragon isn't just "Luffy not giving a damn about blood family because chosen families are better" nor "Luffy is too stupid to understand where babies come from". Perhaps Luffy, who may have assumed he didn't have parents at all (as in "might've assumed they were dead or had intentionally abandoned him"), doesn't know what to think about the fact that he does have a father out there, one whom he has never as much as met. Because yeah, Luffy doesn't know why Dragon left him with Garp, why he never got to be with his dad. Should he be angry at Dragon, hate him for being left alone? Or did Dragon have a good reason for it, does Dragon wish things could've been different?

Perhaps Luffy's seeming disinterest in Dragon isn't because he doesn't care about blood family, but because much like us the readers, Luffy doesn't quite know what to make of Dragon, and figuring those feelings out hasn't been relevant to the plot yet.

[shalom-iamcominghome]

Fucked up that I'm mildly lactose intolerant and I don't like cheesecake and I have to work on shavuot. g-d has abandoned me like I'm a kitten in a wet cardboard box and I am meowing all night long 😢