#i love Love love them so much your honour
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gamarancianne · 2 days ago
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BABY MY BABY OMFGGGGGGGGG
Please come home, the kids miss you 🥰
I even have a typewriter waiting for you my love ❤️❤️❤️❤️
This was *againi a fricking MASTERPIECE. HOW ARE YOU DOING IT ? ARE YOU LIKE A GODESS OF WORDS OR SOMETHING LIKE THAT ???
Because what the actual fuck ? I’m just flabbergasted, because what did I juste read ?
I don’t hear you chat ? “The best fix even written”? THATS RIGHTTTTTTTTTT
Honestly you slay I love you. Everyday I wake up thinking about you and when I have some messages from tumblr I hope hope hope it’s you.
I was hungry and you fed me a five stars Michelin five course meal.
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Now about the fic…. Now now now I LOVE MOR SHES SUCH A GOOD FRIEND AND A GIRLS GIRL. The pettiness she gave to Az ?? 😨😋😍
And Rhys is so funny, and with Feyre at the beginning I love them so much. Using Nyx and all omg the fact that Mor called Selene a secret admirer, I was like “LMAO THAT IS ACTUALLY SO TRUE”.
Cassian fought with az ? What for ??? Why the fuck is the latter so calm ???? Like it seems normal that he has apologised and acted like that… but it’s one of your fic so I know it hides something underneath 🤨🤨🤨. So the word sorry does exist in his vocabulary!! Finally !!! Poor Az is insecure, but still a dick. Reader is again the best out of all of them and us. Big shout out to my girl !!
I can’t wait to know how runa and Selene will be dealt with and why Mor did keep the bracelets without fearing about losing them !!!!! So much questions I love it 🥰🥰🥰🥰
Again thank you for this piece of gold… and so much love to you 🫶🏻🫶🏻🫶🏻🫶🏻🫶🏻
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(What do you mean I’m your favorite repost and react ?? Are you trying to seduce me ? Because it works !! I’m so honoured really 🥹🥹🥹)
Are We Still Friends? — Part Four
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Pairing: Reader x Azriel
Summary: You navigate the aftermath of your confrontation. Azriel takes his first steps toward making things right.
Warnings: brief mentions of injury, bruises, and physical fighting. nyx being a cute baby. some fun introspection. reader is tired and overwhelmed. az is honest and open (hallelujah)
Word Count: 7k+
Part Three
✹ ✶ 𖧷 ✶✹ 
Rhys was trying to be serious. 
He truly, truly was. 
From behind his polished desk, he looked every inch the High Lord—back straight, jaw tight, fingers drumming against the wood. His mouth opened, closed, then opened again, as though he couldn’t decide where to start.
You shifted in your seat, your body aching in strange places from the fight. The cut on your cheek throbbed and the bruising across your knuckles made every twitch of your fingers tender. But none of it compared to the strain in your cheeks—from holding back a laugh.
Feyre was perched on the arm of a chair beside you, Nyx cradled in her arms, his tiny fingers gripping the fabric of her flowy blouse. She wasn’t looking at you—refusing to, actually. Her gaze was locked firmly on her son, her lips pressed together in a trembling line, but you could see the corners twitching with suppressed amusement. You kept your gaze on her, waiting until the burn of your stare would render too hot for her to ignore. 
It didn’t take long.
Feyre’s resolve crumbled as soon as her eyes met yours. She let out a laugh—sharp and bright and loud in the too-quiet room.
Rhys’s head snapped up. “Feyre, please. Not you too.”
Not you too. Morrigan had found the situation just as amusing. 
Her laughter only grew, and Nyx joined in, making incomprehensible happy gurgles in response to his mother’s amusement. 
“I’m sorry,” she said, though she didn’t sound sorry at all. 
She passed Nyx to your open, offering arms, and crossed the room, wrapping her arms around Rhys’s neck. Her cheek brushed against his as she murmured—loud enough for you to hear, “You have to admit it’s funny.”
Rhys groaned, glancing at you. He opened his mouth, probably to protest, but you cut in, your voice laced with mock sternness as you bit back a smile. “Yeah, Rhys. You have to.”
“I don’t have to do anything,” he replied, fixing you with a look. “It is not funny.”
You gasped dramatically, adjusting Nyx in your lap and covering his tiny,pointed ears. “Don’t teach your son it’s okay to lie.”
Another groan. A hand dragged down his face, but his lips twitched as though fighting a losing battle. Finally, with a resigned shake of his head, he muttered, “Alright. Fine. It’s funny. But—
His words faltered. 
“I am sorry,” you offered, filling the silence. You raised your free hand solemnly. “I lost my cool. That’s my bad. But in my defense, she really had it coming.”
Rhys casted a look at Feyre, who was leaning against the desk now, a smile still tugging at her lips. He shook his head again, sighing. “Maybe so,” he conceded, “But I can’t have our court’s emissary beating one of our citizens in broad daylight. It’s not a great look.”
“It wasn’t broad daylight,” you corrected, your attention shifting to Nyx as you untangled your hair from his iron grip, grimacing as the motion pulled at your scalp. “The sun was setting by the time we were done.”
Feyre let out another laugh, the sound powerful enough to pull a snort from her. 
“And,” you added, “It was, at most, semi-private.”
“Unbelievable,” Rhys muttered, though there was no real heat in it.
Nyx babbled again, his chubby hand reaching for your hair once more. 
“Okay, alright,” you said, straightening in your chair. The ache in your body flared as you moved, but you ignored it, your focus on Rhys. “You’re right, Rhys. I have a title and an image to uphold. I should’ve acted better. Tell me how to fix it, and I will.”
Rhys’s gaze lingered on you, as if the longer he stared at you, the easier words would come. Then he leaned back in his chair, his attention flicking to Feyre. They were in each other’s minds, you realized, talking in that way only they could. You could pick up the signs now, even subtle—a faint twitch of her lips, the softening in his gaze, even the rhythm of their blinks syncing up. 
Finally, Rhys looked back at you, then down at Nyx, who was still babbling in your lap. When his gaze returned to yours, there was a thread of warmth beneath his voice. “You’re the most, objectively, rational of us all. If you say there was reasoning, then I believe you.”
You gave him a grateful smile.
“We just have to prepare for some damage control,” Feyre said. “It’s not exactly comforting for our citizens to see three of their highest-ranking officials fighting in the streets.”
“Three?” You frowned. “What—”
You were cut off as the door creaked open. All three of you turned as Mor stepped in, a large grin on her red painted lips. She was holding something small in her hand, and when she held it up, the light caught on the all-too-familiar jewelry.
“Don’t forget. She also found these,” Mor sang as she entered fully. She tossed two bracelets into the air, catching both effortlessly before holding them up again for emphasis. “So, I think that’s enough for a pardon.”
Rhys stood, crossing the room in a few long strides as Feyre followed. He took one of the bracelets from Mor, inspecting it carefully.
“What did you find?”
“What Y/n heard was right,” Mor said, rolling the other bracelet between her fingers. “It’s a simple listening charm. Very basic.”
Rhysand hummed. “And how does it work exactly?”
“It’s an anchored spell.”
“What does that mean?” Feyre asked, frowning. “An anchor?” 
“It means the spell needs an anchor to function—a tether to keep it active and contained. Like a balloon tied to a string.” Rhys explained, his tone turning clinical. “It’s simple magic. The charm was designed to spy on whoever it was bound to.”
“And it was bound to who? Az?”
”Actually,” Mor said. She nodded towards you. “It was bound to Y/n.”
You weren’t paying full attention, not as you played a game of tug-of-war with Nyx and a strand of your hair. When the words finally hit you, you blinked, glancing between Mor and the bracelet in her hand. “What? On me?”
Mor nodded once more as Rhysand said, “Interesting.” 
”And this was in Azriels room?” Feyre asked, looking over at you. 
“One of them,” you confirmed. “The other Selene was wearing.”
Feyre’s gaze flicked to the cut across your cheek. “So she put it in Azriel’s room, but bound it to you?”
“No one tends to go into Az’s room.” Rhys frowned. “So she was only interested in conversations you were a part of.”
Of course. A bitter laugh bubbled up, but you clenched your jaw, forcing it down. You reminded yourself of what you’d seen earlier— the insecurity, rather than the malice you’d anticipated. Still, a certain annoyance lingered. Was her relationship with Azriel so fragile that she couldn’t talk to him? Were you so unapproachable that she couldn’t come to you? Instead, she planted a charm. To spy. 
”Can I see it?” You asked. 
Mor stepped forward, holding it out, and Nyx reached for it first, his tiny fingers desperately grasping at the shiny surface.
“This isn’t for you, buddy,” Mor cooed, crouching slightly. “This is Aunt Y/n’s special bracelet from her secret admirer.”
You shot her a flat look. “Secret admirer, my ass.”
Mor grinned, but her gaze flicked over you briefly, her teasing dimmed by something else—concern, maybe. Feyre stepped forward, lifting Nyx from your lap as you examined the bracelet.
“So what do we do with it now?” You glanced up at Mor.
“I can pay Helion a visit. Break the charm.” 
“Alright,” Rhys said, the word accompanied by a considering hum. “But first, let me talk to Selene and Runa—Runa was the other one, right?”
Hearing her name sent a wave of irritation coursing through you. Your grip on the bracelet tightened instinctively as you nodded, the cool metal digging into your palm. You held it out for Mor to take, watching as she then took the second one back from Rhys. He studied you for a moment, his gaze drifting to your clenched fists.
“You’re just too great,” He said with a small grin. It was very father-like in its presentation, like he was trying to cheer up a sad child. “It’s intimidating.”
You rolled your eyes, but his attempt worked— the easy cadence chipping away at the tension in your shoulders, managing to coax a reluctant smile to your lips. “So I’ve been told.”
Your attention shifted to Feyre as she rocked Nyx gently in her arms. His soft breaths had already settled into the rhythm of sleep, and something in you softened at the sight. Your smile deepened, this time warmer, more genuine. Feyre caught your gaze, then glanced at her mate.
“It’s his bedtime,” she murmured, her attention returning to you. “And maybe you could use some rest too.”
You opened your mouth to argue, but Mor cut you off, her hand already brushing against your arm. “Let’s get you cleaned up,” she said softly, though there was no room for argument in her tone.
“I’m fine,” you tried to insist, but she gave you a look, leading you out of Rhysand’s office. You gave both him and Feyre a quick goodbye. 
“Walk or winnow?” Mor asked once you were in the hall, tilting her head.
You thought it over for a brief moment. “Winnow,” you replied.
She nodded in agreement, the corners of her lips curving upwards. “Probably for the best,” she said, “Wouldn’t want you to find another citizen to fight on the way home.”
You moved to swat at her arm in mock indignation, but she was already gone, her laughter echoing faintly as she winnowed away. 
✹ ✶ 𖧷 ✶✹ 
Mor was humming a small tune as she led you to your bedroom. She had a few more items in her hand since the last time you saw her, only a few moments prior.
“Sit,” she instructed, nodding towards your bed. Without waiting for a response, she pulled your chair from the small desk, its legs scraping sharply against the floor. Usually, you might've winced at the sound, but tonight it barely registered. You were too tired, too lost in your own thoughts to be fully aware of your surroundings. 
You lowered yourself onto the edge of your bed, hands folded in your lap, watching as Mor set her haul on your bedside table: a first-aid healers kit and a small jar with a golden lid, the faint scent of herbs already wafting from it.
“Whats that?” you asked, motioning towards it as Mor sat down.
“I stopped by Majda’s earlier,” Mor replied, grabbing the jar and offering it to you. 
You gingerly took it, running your fingers along the small glass. A healing balm, you gathered from the label, crafted and spelled to sooth the tenderness of injuries.  “You didn’t have to do that.”
“Of course I did,” she replied, fixing you with a look. She held her hand out in a silent request, and you granted it, placing the jar back in her soft palm.  “I ran into Adrin while I was there, too.”
“Oh?”
“Mhm. I think he has a crush.” 
Your brows furrowed. “On you?”
“No,” Mor laughed. “On you.” She twisted the lid off, the scent growing stronger, fresher. “This was practically free when I mentioned your name. He says hello, by the way.”
You rolled your eyes at the tone of her voice, at the small quirk in her lip.  “How generous of him.”
Adrin was one of Madja’s recent apprentices, a male from the Dawn Court. Over the past year, you’d developed a sort of friendship with him—inevitable, given how often you stopped by Madja’s for elixirs, balms, or to request healing for one of your family members. Adrin was sweet in a way that stood out, especially for someone of his stature and wealth. Humble, easy to talk to. You’d always enjoyed your small conversations with him, none of which had ever felt particularly flirtatious. 
But Mor liked to do this—tease you about romantic prospects where there were none.
“He seemed very sad to hear you were hurt,” she teased, dipping her fingers into the balm. “Here. Give me your hands.”
Reluctantly, you stretched out your hands, knuckles bruised and raw. She took them, her touch gentle as she worked the balm into your skin. It stung at first, then cooled, easing the ache. 
“He’s cute,” Mor said lightly, noting your silence.  “You should consider it.”
“Mhm,” you replied, not really listening. “Maybe.”
Mor glanced up at you, her hands pausing briefly before she resumed. “What are you thinking about?”
You shrugged and stared down at your hands, tracing the patterns of Mor’s thumbs as she smoothed over the worst of the bruising. “I don’t know. The whole thing, I guess.”
“I can’t believe you didn’t just beat them both.”
A small laugh slipped from you, unexpected. You were quite proud of how diplomatic you’d managed to be given the circumstances— though, you were sure diplomatic wasn’t the word Runa would use.
“I think,” you began, “I just figured it wasn’t worth it. At least with Selene, it wasn’t personal. There’s nothing I could’ve said to her that’d be worse than what I imagine she already tells herself. Runa just… said the wrong thing at the wrong time.”
Mor nodded with an amused smile, tilting your chin up with a finger so she could dab the balm along your jaw. On a hit you hadn’t even noticed until it started throbbing an hour later.
“Still. A listening charm is kind of insane,” she said. Her tone was measured, but you caught the edge of anger beneath it. “Can you imagine what else she could’ve heard?”
Your chest tightened. You nodded. Although not to the extent you might usually have, you had thought about it—the implications of the bracelet, the act Selene had committed, the idea Runa had planted. It was almost laughable. Your court was condemned for its supposed cruelty, led by a High Lord as infamous as Rhysand, yet citizens still felt emboldened enough to pull stunts like this. In any other court, Selene and Runa would’ve faced very different—more permanent—consequences.
“I don’t want to think about it too much,” you replied after a moment. “I’ll just get angry, and I’m kind of over that. It’s exhausting.”
“You’re better than me,” Mor muttered.
“Not really. I’m just tired.” You said simply. “Selene did a bad thing. She’s lucky it didn’t cause a serious disaster. I don’t feel the need to play the Mother’s role. Rhys will deal with her.”
Mor sat back, a faint grin tugging at her lips. “And in the meantime, I get pretty jewelry.”
You raised a brow. 
“What?” Her grin widened. “Like we told Rhys, it’s only a basic listening spell. If I’m in possession of both charms, and I’m not talking to you, then no one’s hearing anything.”
“And if you lose one?”
She raised an eyebrow, slowly twisting the cap back onto the jar. “I won’t,” she replied simply. And you knew that was the end of the conversation. Mor guided your head to the side, leaning in to inspect the cut across your cheek.
“That bitch got you good, though,” Mor muttered. She touched it gently, and you grimaced. “All this from that bracelet?”
“It was chunky,” you replied dryly. “And I think Runa split it open much further.”
Mor scowled. “If I see her, she's as good as d—”
“Mor.”
She sighed dramatically. “At least tell me you got her good.”
You gave her a look and her grin widened. “Gods, I love you,” she said, shaking her head. “You might be the most terrifying one of us all when you’re angry.”
A smile tugged at your lips, the faint pull of it brushing against the ache in your cheek. The sound of a laugh started to rise in your chest when a low voice cut through the moment.
“I would agree.”
You jumped, and your head snapped toward the doorway— where Azriel now stood. 
Your chest tightened at the sight of him, the moment’s levity collapsing under his presence. Instinctively, your eyes ran over him, taking in every detail. He looked tense, wings drawn in tight to his back, his posture stiff. Shadows hung close to him, unnervingly still. Disheveled, too—his hair was a mess and faint bruises bloomed along his face. His hands were hidden by his shadows, but you’d bet they bore the same marks as yours. Three officials, Feyre had said. You now knew the second. 
He cleared his throat. “I’m sorry to interrupt.”
Mor snickered beside you, drawing your attention just as her brows lifted in amusement. She turned away from him and faced you instead. “You hear that, Y/n? He’s sorry.”
You raised your own brows, gaze flicking back to him. “So those words do exist in your vocabulary.”
The bite didn’t feel as satisfying as it should have. It felt hollow, old. Azriel’s jaw tightened, his chest rising as he drew in a measured breath. After a moment, he stepped forward. His gaze lingered on you for another moment before he turned to Mor.
“May we have a moment alone?”
Mor’s eyes narrowed, the sharpness in her gaze dragging over him like a knife. She didn’t answer right away, looking back to you instead, searching your face for permission. Despite yourself, you gave her a small nod.
Her displeasure showed in the faint widening of her eyes, but she stood anyway, brushing her hand against yours in passing. Her touch was soft, careful not to press too hard against the bruises. “Love you,” she murmured. “Let me know if you need anything else tonight.”
You gave her a small smile, nodding again as she walked past Azriel. His shadows recoiled from her, drawing a dark outline along his arm. She casted one last glare over her shoulder.
“Idiot,” she muttered, loud enough for both of you to hear. Then she was gone.
The silence she left behind felt suffocating, a heavy thing that settled over the room. You avoided Azriel’s gaze, focusing instead on the healer’s kit sitting on the bedside table. You reached for it, but Azriel held up a hand to stop you.
“I can do it myself,” you said. 
“I know,” Az replied softly. “But let me. Please.”
You hesitated. He looked troubled, guilt heavy in his expression, but you couldn’t bring yourself to care. The conversation had been inevitable, long overdue. Might as well get it over with while he tended to the cut on your cheek.
Besides, you were too exhausted to care. 
“Fine.”
Azriel gave you a small, unsure smile—grateful, almost. He disappeared to the bathroom, and when he returned, he sat with a wet rag in hand.
You tried to hold on to your anger, to avoid his eyes, but your resolve began to falter the moment his shadows began to twist around your arms. They moved languidly, curling up your wrists and brushing your fingers as you played with your hands in your lap. You focused on them instead of him— on their quiet presence, the personality in them that so few ever noticed. You’d missed the way they felt like him.
Azriel began unpacking the kit—clean cloths, antiseptic. The smell made your nose scrunch. You took in the bruising on his face—on his cheek, a split near his eyebrow, even on his lip. Strange, strategically unplaced.
“What happened to you?” you asked before you could stop yourself.
“Cassian happened.”
And there it was— the third official. You wanted to probe for more details, were even tempted to make a joke out of his current appearance, but your irritation held you back. You stayed silent as he cleaned the wound, as he dried it. When he soaked another cloth with antiseptic, he looked at you.
“I owe you a big, proper apology.” 
You didn’t look at him, even as his words pulled at you. “Yeah.”
He paused— like he was thinking, like he was ashamed— and took a deep breath before he said, “Many, actually.”
You didn’t respond. You just nodded, watching him from the corner of your eye. When the cloth touched your cheek, you winced. He grimaced, eyebrows furrowing in apology.
“Sorry,” he murmured. 
Another pause. 
“You were right,” he said, his focus staying on your cheek. “And I should have listened to you.”
This time, the pull of his voice was strong enough to draw your attention. As he leaned closer to begin cleaning the cut, you studied his face—the sharp line of his jaw, the crease in his brow as he worked with precision. 
“I’m always right,” you muttered, and the words had more mirth than you’d expected. You supposed that was natural with Azriel, an instinct of sorts. Even when you were unhappy with him. “You’re going to have to be specific.”
Something softened in his expression—just for a second. But you saw it. You could’ve sworn you saw the faintest hint of a smile tug at his lips, heard a soft breath of amusement. His molten eyes met yours briefly.
“You were right about Selene.”
Your chest tightened. You didn’t know why, but his gaze burned. You couldn’t hold it for long and looked back down at your hands, letting the shadows weave between your fingers. You wondered what information Az knew— wondered who told him. If it was Mor who had talked to Cassian, if it was Cassian who then, in turn, had given Azriel the whole story. Had they fought beforehand? What for?
“I broke up with her,” Azriel added. “When I heard about what happened.”
You looked up, but Az’s gaze was no longer on you. “You did?”
He nodded. You tracked the bob in his throat as he swallowed. 
“There’s no coming back from what she did.”
Azriel set the cloth aside, carefully wiping away the excess antiseptic. He seemed unnervingly calm for the situation—for the invasion of privacy from someone he’d been intimate with. You’d expected something more. Anger like you’d seen with Eris, confrontation like he’d shown Lucien. But, instead, he was gentle. Maybe it should’ve bothered you, that he seemed so unphased at your current state. It didn’t. If anything, you were grateful. You would’ve been too tired to deal with anything else. 
You studied him closely. This side of him—tender, unguarded—wasn’t a side he let many see.
Your thoughts wandered back to Selene. It made sense, in a pathetic, strange way, why she might have done what she did. If she’d seen this side of him, this kindness, this care... how could she not have wanted to protect it? How could she not have gone to extremes to keep it?
You thought about it for a moment. Came to the realization that the love Azriel offered was probably worthy of madness.
“Because she spied on you?” 
It was a stupid question. But the urge to ask had persisted, so you voiced it anyway. Azriel stilled, his hand pausing mid-motion. Slowly, he turned to look at you.
“No,” he said, his voice softer. “Because she hurt you.”
His words landed with a force that sent your thoughts spiraling.
“Although,” Azriel added quickly, “The spying was definitely a dealbreaker.”
He was making a joke, you realized. Or a small attempt at one. And somehow, it settled something restless in your chest.
“She didn’t mean to,” you heard yourself say before you could stop it. 
The moment the words left your mouth, you cursed yourself. What the hell were you doing? You had no obligation. No reason. It was counterproductive, if anything. Rhys was bringing her in. You had every right to trash her, right here, to Azriel himself. To tell him over and over that you told him so.
But you didn’t. Maybe it was because she’d mattered to him—enough for him to trust her despite the flaws that had undone her. Even if that truth made your chest ache, you wanted him to make his decision with all the facts.
Your care for Azriel wasn’t something led by your pride.
“Selene didn’t mean to hurt me,” you said again, more certain this time. “It was an accident.”
His eyes softened as he observed you. You swallowed and shrugged. “Runa was the one who actually did.”
“It doesn’t matter,” Azriel said. “You were in that situation because of Selene.”
A beat.
“Because of me.”
The air between you thickened. You tried to focus on anything else, anything but the way your chest tightened, the way your heart thudded faster than it should. But you couldn’t. Your eyes stayed locked with his.
You thought about the past week, how something had shifted between you. The distance that had grown, how long it had taken him to reach out.  Azriel was someone who didn’t apologize easily. You knew that. But it hurt in ways you didn’t expect because you’d always thought you were different. That your friendship, your bond, was worth the discomfort. 
You thought he’d make it right. That he wouldn't have let it fester for as long as he did, wouldn’t have felt comfortable leaving you simmering in your hurt. 
“Az?”
The name escaped your lips unguarded, and his face softened at the sound of it. His wings shifted too, just slightly, like tension bleeding out. You hadn’t said his name like that—without anger, without bitterness—for days.
“Yeah?”
“Why didn’t you actually apologize earlier?”
Azriel’s jaw tightened, and his gaze flicked down, as if the answer was there, somewhere in the floor. “I—I didn’t know how.”
You let out a breath—annoyance, defeat, something too messy to untangle. “It’s actually really easy,” you muttered. “You just open your mouth and say the words ‘I’m sorry for being a dick.’”
There was a soft shuffle as Azriel leaned forward, placing his elbows on his knees. He tilted his head, trying to meet your averted gaze.
“Y/n,” he said softly. “I’m sorry for being a dick.”
You let the words settle for a moment before sitting up straighter. Met his eyes once more. You raised a brow, unimpressed. “A bit late, don’t you think?”
Azriel didn’t move, his eyes meeting yours steadily. He was closer now—close enough that you could almost feel his presence like a tangible, heavy thing. His shadows stirred, curling around your fingers, then shifting toward his hand. They tangled between you both, like they were tying you together, threading through the space that separated you.
“It is,” Azriel said. He looked down the second his words hit the open air. It reminded you of repentance, like a sinner confessing to a priestess. His hands rubbed together before he clasped them into a fist, looking up again.
Even then, his thumbs kept moving, brushing over each other in a way that gave him away. He was nervous.
“I messed up,” he said. “I knew I did the minute I repeated what Selene told me. But I’d messed up so badly that I felt like an apology needed to be big enough to make up for it. I couldn’t think of anything.” He took a shallow breath. “I—I was embarrassed.”
You frowned.  For Azriel, who stood in front of you, unwavering in the face of so many enemies, embarrassment seemed almost foreign.
“Embarrassed?”
“Yes.” His voice was quiet as he admitted it.
“What could you possibly have to be embarrassed about?”
Azriel’s face shifted, his eyes looking almost vulnerable, wide open, like you could see everything. Even his shadows slowed to a faint crawl. They seemed to be waiting for something. You weren’t sure what.
“That you were right. I was changing. For her. And I did it on my own.”
“What?” You barely breathed out, confused. “Why?”
“I just…” He hesitated, his eyes lowering. “I thought it might be for the better. That maybe this relationship, maybe Selene, could mold me into something else, something more…” He trailed off.
“More what?”
“Something—someone, more easy to love.”
Your breath faltered, and for a second, everything froze— like the sheer sadness in his voice was enough to freeze time. And then you were flooded with emotions, each different from the one that came before. Confusion. Anger. Pity. Heartbreak. You felt a deep, hollow ache at the idea that he truly believed he needed to change to be loved. 
For the first time, you weren’t sure what the right thing to say was. If there was one at all. All you could do, in the most genuine tone you could muster, was say, “That’s the stupidest thing I’ve ever heard.”
Azriel’s gaze faltered, his expression shifting as though he wasn’t quite sure how to process your reaction. You glanced at his hands, pushing the rush of emotions back, then met his eyes again.
“You should never feel like you need to change. Not like that.”
For a moment, he didn’t say anything, but his eyes softened, and you found yourself focusing on the crease between his brows. It made him look so tender. So young.
Finally, he spoke again. “I was having a bad day that night you came to talk to me. I didn’t realize how I’d hurt you. I thought I just pissed you off, that you were angry.”
“Well, you did piss me off,” you said, your anger bubbling up once more. His expression faltered slightly at that, but you continued, “I’m still angry. You were dismissive. You made me feel selfish, like I didn’t have the right to care about you.”
The words caught in your throat, threatening to stick, but you pushed them out. You’d spent centuries enduring criticism from males in Prythian politics—males who dismissed your input no matter how educated or experienced you were. You knew how to let their opinions roll off your back, not to let them settle. But you never thought Azriel would be the one to hurt you. Make you feel silly. Stupid. Small.
Azriel’s jaw tightened, and his eyes darted away as if he was trying to find the right words. “It was all so stupid. I can’t believe I entertained her ideas—that I let my desire to be needed make me accuse you of having ulterior motives when you were just being a good friend.”
A good friend.
That was exactly what you were trying to be—and yet, the word hurt you. It made you want to wince like you had when Azriel pressed that rag to your cut. You thought back, unwanted, to Selene’s words, and your chest tightened even more. 
Was it possible for the room to be losing air? Maybe that would explain the stupid decisions you’d been making. The thoughts you could feel in the back of your mind. A lack of oxygen to your brain.
“So why did you believe her?” you asked quietly. Your voice sounded more tired now. 
“I don’t know,” he admitted after a long pause. “It doesn’t change what I did. It was cruel. It belittled you. And I’m sorry.”
You stared at him, at the set of his shoulders, the faint downturn of his mouth. He was sincere—you could feel it in every word, in the way his eyes stayed fixed on you, like nothing else existed in the room. You didn’t think you’d ever had someone apologize like this before, so open and raw.
And yet, something inside you still simmered. The anger hadn’t disappeared. Not yet.
“Thank you,” you murmured, “For apologizing.”
Azriel didn’t move. He kept looking at you, really looking at you, and you felt pinned beneath the weight of his gaze. His eyes had more green than Cassian’s. It wasn’t something you usually noticed—how the colors shifted in the light, how clear and startling they seemed up close. Now, though, you couldn’t seem to stop noticing, like every detail of him was suddenly magnified.
You wanted to stay angry. You deserved to. He’d hurt you, and that kind of hurt didn’t just disappear because he finally decided to show up and say the right things. But then his gaze held yours a little too long, his voice a little too raw, and that tightrope you’d built for yourself began to fray.  A sharp sting of guilt came, and you couldn’t shake it—couldn’t shake the growing realization that maybe you didn’t want to be angry at him. Maybe it wasn’t even anger anymore.
You cleared your throat as Azriel shifted his attention back to the kit, his shadows curling and shifting behind him. He grabbed a few butterfly bandages, his voice quiet when he spoke.
“You’re better to me than I deserve,” he said, almost to himself. “I think I convinced myself that it was a matter of time until the ball dropped—until you realized I wasn’t worth this friendship. I thought I’d finally reached that point. I almost just laid down and accepted it.”
You frowned at his words. 
Azriel always carried that shadow of self-loathing like a second skin, like he couldn’t believe anyone could see him as more than his darkest thoughts. As much as you wanted to heal him, to assure him that none of it was true, you knew better. It hurt to know that, after everything, he still didn’t believe it. Because, the truth was, Azriel wasn’t hard to love. It wasn’t hard to support him, to be his friend. He had his moments, as anyone did, but he was always there. Which, you supposed, is why the way he treated you hurt in such a deep, unique way.
The thought that he’d believed, deep down, that your friendship—your loyalty—could be so easily withdrawn, made something inside you ache. Made you sad. Angry. 
“I take back what I said earlier,” you murmured. “That is the stupidest thing I’ve ever heard.”
Azriel’s lips twitched as he searched your face for any hint of a joke. His shadows perched on the apex of his wings, watching you both. Then, when his lips curled, just slightly, they began to move once more. 
“I have my moments,” Azriel said, a half-smile playing at the corner of his lips. He glanced at you, checking if it landed.  “Maybe one too many head injuries is getting to me.”
“Maybe,” you said, the hint of a smile brushing your lips. “In that case, we should keep an eye on Cassian.”
Azriel’s breath escaped in a quiet, almost relieved laugh.  He carefully removed the butterfly bandages from their small packs, the silence settling around you once more. But the air felt heavy, like there was something unspoken hanging between you. Like you needed to say something to rid yourself of the pressure in your chest. 
“You can’t just lay down and accept it, Az,” you said, your voice firm. His eyes snapped to yours. “That’s not what friendship is. Not ours.”
Azriel nodded, his expression softening. “I know. I’ll do better.” 
You smiled faintly, nodding back. Watching as he turned his attention back to the bandages on your cheek, you took a slow breath. His scent washed over you as he leaned in, familiar and warm. For a moment, you almost let yourself close your eyes, just to breathe him in further, to let his scent linger. Had it always been like this? Or had Selene’s words made you overanalyze everything?
“I was shocked when Cassian told me what happened. I can’t believe that while I was busy kicking myself for not doing anything, you were trying to talk to Selene. Trying to be kind. Do you realize how crazy that is?”
His words weren’t disbelief—they were awe. As if he couldn’t comprehend why you’d chosen the harder path, the path of peace. You could barely believe it yourself, sitting with a scratched-up face and a mind full of unwanted revelations. But in the end, it had been simple. 
You’d done it for Azriel. 
You’d found sympathy for her because of Azriel. You’d set aside your anger, your pettiness, because you valued your relationship with Azriel more. Even after everything, after the way he’d treated you, you still believed in him. Believed in his ability to know what he wanted.
“Your happiness was worth it,” you said finally. “I didn’t want to be the one to stand in the way of it. To make things hard.”
Azriel stopped at that, his gaze locking onto yours with an intensity that made you feel exposed in a way you’d never felt before with him. You shrugged it off, trying to play it cool, and added with a dry chuckle, “Also, I figured if I did the noble thing, I’d get to hold it over you for a few centuries.”
Azriel laughed—a genuine, rumbling sound. His shadows fluttered around him. “Yeah, well, you can. More than a few centuries, actually, because you came out with some battle scars.”
You almost spoke again, but the breath left your lungs as you felt his fingers gently press the butterfly bandages to your skin. It was almost funny to think about how angry you’d been—rightfully so. But now, with the feel of his hands on you, it all began to ease. A specific sense of healing, like the betrayal you’d felt—at least in part—was being mended. That Azriel tending to you now, with the soft touch he so rarely granted, proved that he didn’t mean to hurt you. That he did care. And maybe you could give him a little grace for being a flawed male.
When Azriel turned back to the kit, you touched your cheek, feeling the cut deeper than you expected. You hadn’t realized how long it was. Mor’s earlier reaction made more sense now.
Azriel glanced at the wound, then back at you, brow furrowing. “Is it okay?”
You nodded slowly, a soft breath escaping as you winced slightly. “Yeah, just tender. Thank you.”
He nodded in acknowledgment and moved to place the last bandage. And then, almost too quietly, he murmured, “I’m sorry I hurt you. I really am.”
“I know.” You hesitated before adding, “But you’re going to have to make it up to me. You know that, right? This wasn’t enough.”
Azriel steadied his gaze on you, leaning back to face you fully. Suddenly, you weren’t sure if anyone had ever looked at you properly. Not like this. Not as he said, “I will. I promise. In ways that are better than some baked goods.”
“Well… I wouldn’t mind some croissants. They looked good.”
Azriel chuckled. “Oh really?”
Soft tendrils of his shadows weaved around you as you nodded, biting back a smile at the tone of his voice. Something so lively. So Azriel. Although you were used to them, you resisted the urge to shiver as his shadows threaded through the ends of your hair. 
“That’s odd,” he said. “I seem to recall them looking untouched. Some even squished.”
The memory of how you’d grabbed the pastry in frustration, squeezing it in your hand, brought a small smirk to your face. You shrugged a little. “I was pissed. I couldn’t give in.”
“In that case, I’ll buy out the whole bakery.”
You rolled your eyes, but the hint of a smile was still there. It was probably obvious to Azriel.  “The Spymaster supporting local businesses by single-handedly buying out a local bakery. How noble.”
He smiled at that, his expression lighter now—boyish, amused. But his words were sincere. “Whatever you need me to do. I’ll do it.”
“And if I told you to swim naked in the Sidra at night, when it’s cold and snowy?”
“I’d ask Rhysand to make an order for all the children to stay inside.”
You laughed at the thought, and the atmosphere shifted. For the first time in a while, it felt like the world had stopped turning its back on you. The anger, the grudge you’d been cradling like a newborn babe, didn’t feel so heavy now. 
Azriel stood, folding the bandages and packing away the medical supplies, and you found yourself watching him without meaning to once more. You couldn’t help but notice how effortlessly… beautiful he was. There was something in the angle of his jaw, the way the light caught his features that made your breath suddenly catch. He was always handsome, of course, but this was different. 
A sudden wave of curiosity bubbled up inside you. Before you could second-guess yourself, you spoke.  You’d never noticed the sharpness of his eyes, the intensity in them, the way his wings twitched when his shadows curled against them.
“Can I ask you something?” 
He paused, looking down at you with that soft gaze. “Always.”
“Why did you want to change into someone more loveable? Why stay with Selene?”
Azriel’s eyes flickered away, his gaze dropping to the floor. “I… I think I was jealous.”
“Jealous?”
Azriel nodded. Something sad washed through him, made him blink, made his wings fall an inch closer to the ground. “Everyone around us is finding love. They’re starting new lives.”
Something sharp jabbed at you, a bitter feeling you didn’t quite understand. Was there something wrong with you for not feeling the same need to fall in love?
“I’m not,” you said. 
The expression that took over Azriel’s face was one you couldn’t describe, but there was a new kind of weariness in it. His lips parted as though to say something else, but instead, he simply shook his head with a small, wistful smile. “It’s only a matter of time, Y/n.”
You blinked. “What does that mean?”
“It means you’re you. You’re amazing. It’s only a matter of time until you fall for one of your many suitors.”
You furrowed your brow, a bitter taste now settling on your tongue. You didn’t respond— didn’t know how to.
Azriel’s eyes darkened for a brief moment, his jaw tightening, but then his face softened. He exhaled slowly. When he spoke, his voice was quieter than before. “I didn’t think I could handle being alone when you moved on, too.”
The way he said it, the weight of it, made something ache inside you, like a deep hollow was opening up in your chest. You swallowed hard, wishing for something—anything—to ease the growing pressure behind your ribcage.
You wanted him to tell you more, to say something that would make sense of all this. But you didn’t know how to ask for that, didn’t even know what you wanted him to say. 
“Because you don’t want to be the last one standing?”
The silence that followed was almost suffocating. Azriel’s shadows seemed to quiet around you both.
Then, he gave you a half-smile—sad, lopsided, but somehow more real than anything he’d shown you in a long time. Not for months. Not since he began dating Selene. 
“Something like that.”
Before you could dwell on his words, on why they made you feel sad, disappointed even, Azriel finished packing up the kit and turned toward you.
“All done,” he said.
You blinked, pulled out of your thoughts, and nodded. “Oh. Cool. Thank you.”
You looked down at your hands, your fingers brushing over the growing bruises on your knuckles. Your hair fell forward, partially hiding your face, and before you could move it out of the way, one of Azriel’s shadows darted forward, tugging at the strand. You glanced up as he gently called the shadow back with a subtle motion. 
“So... how do I look?” 
Azriel's eyes flicked over you, the corner of his mouth quirking up as he reached forward, his hand brushing that same strand of hair from your face.
“Tough,” he said, slowly moving the strand back. “I think the bandages really bring out your eyes.”
And even though he’d done it a million times before, as Azriel tucked your hair behind your ear, something inside you cracked right open.
✹ ✶ 𖧷 ✶✹ 
authors note:
tending to wounds scene!!! tending to wounds scene!! mor has both bracelets??!? az and selene are done?!?! he's being weirdly calm abt the whole thing?!?! reader is THINKINNN...
now begins the fun time of reader wanting to let az grovel (bc he has entered his groveling era) but also overthinking everything and wanting him to just....go away. also fun time of reader having to prove to everyone that despite things she may...or may not... feel, her intentions with Az were neverr driven jealousy hehe
so fun!!! i have some fun ideas guys. thank yall for reading <3 i wonder if you can guess what might happen.... there are a few hints
permanent tag list 🫶🏻: 
@rhysandorian @itsswritten  @lilah-asteria @georgiadixon  @glam-targaryen 
@cheneyq @darkbloodsly @pit-and-the-pen @azrielsbbg @evergreenlark 
@marina468 @azriels-human @book-obsessed124 @bubybubsters @starswholistenanddreamsanswered 
@feyretopia  @ninthcircleofprythian @azrielrot @justyouraveragekleemain @marigold-morelli 
@mrsjna @anarchiii @alittlelostalittlefound
@melissat1254 @secretsicanthideanymore
@m4tthewmurd0ck @beardburnsupersoldiers @isnotwhatyourethinking @tothestarsandwhateverend @raginghellfire
@angel-graces-world-of-chaos @acoazlove @paradisebabey @inkedinshadows @mellowmusings
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@booksaremyescapeworld @knoxic  @wynintheclouds @dacrethehalls  @louisa-harrier
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namelessghost04 · 3 days ago
Text
happy wednesday! in honour of Lord Hermes' day, here are a few ways in which I honour Him <3
disclaimer: obviously you don't have to do this! everyone's practice is different. i just wanted to share my experience. feel free to include any in your practice!
make a playlist for Him! just throw in your favourite songs that remind you of Him
drink caffeine. coffee, monster energy, whichever you prefer! now, everyone reacts in a different way, you know your body better than anyone else so be careful with drinking too much! and if you cannot have caffeine...
dedicate a warm drink to Him! in my experience, He seems to enjoy hot chocolate and chamomile tea, so those are good alternatives too
learn a new language! or just review your mother tongue/your second language. i personally like to dedicate my chinese homework to Him :)
go for a walk! furthermore, you can even ask Him to go with you. it's a great way to bond with Him. you could also go for a ride in a car or bike if you'd rather
research His myths and hymns. learn as much as you can about Him
talk to Him! just pray to Him in your mind, tell Him about your day or anything that happened
learn divination in His name. i started learning cartomancy and dice divination for Him!
take a break when needed. trust me, He wants you to take care of yourself more than anything. it's okay to relax from time to time!
play with your pets! self explanatory i think
wear devotional jewellery! you can get a Caduceus necklace, or a turtle charm, or even a strawberry one! He'll appreciate it
share moments with your loved ones! just spend time with your family and friends. check up on them if they're far
try new things! is there something you've been wanting to do for a while but are too scared to try? maybe someone you really want to talk to but don't know how? just do it! trust Him
i think that's all i have for now :') khaire!
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okaysonny · 16 hours ago
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Hello love the way how you write fics it just scratches my brain so good, can i request jake x reader where reader finds out about all the bad things he did (him joining illegal gambling stuff and Scamming people 💀) ANGST if you could thank you so much
shackles ╏ jake kim
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𓇼 summary: jake reminisces his relationship. #sadtimes
𓇼 details: angst, f! reader, a lot of build up.
𓇼 wc: 2k
𓇼 A/N: anon YOUR REQUEST scratched my brain so good...i love dissecting this man!
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with you, he didn't feel restricted to just being jake kim, no. 1 or jake kim, son of gapryong kim. he felt like he could just be himself, with no labels. you made him the happiest man on the planet, and for some reason, you were happy with him too.
and the profoundness of it all is that meeting you happened by complete chance.
his card had declined at a vending machine.
jake looked left and right, hoping no one saw, until he heard laughter coming from behind him.
"times are tough, huh? let me get that for you" you said, giving him a small smile.
he blinked in surprise. "oh...thanks, but you don't have to"
"too late!" you beamed, stepping beside him to face the vending machine. "i made up my mind! what did you want?"
jake didn't like you. he just liked the fanta you bought him. that's what he told himself anyway.
but friendly conversation turned into an exchange of numbers, and an exchange of numbers turned into hanging out. hang out's turned into something more romantic, until you suddenly asked: "can i be your girlfriend?"
jake really should've declined. he'd have to come clean and admit he's essentially a gangster. he wouldn't have time to spend time with you.
...and you deserve so much better. he shouldn't let the bleakness, the danger of his role dull your light.
jake had all the time in the world to start a relationship with someone. it's not like it had to be with you.
still, he found himself not wanting to say no. he didn't know how much he wanted to hear those words until you asked. so...jake wasn't really thinking straight when he shakily whispered: "i'd really like that"
jake remembers when he told you what he actually does. he remembers how you laughed in his face, how you stopped when you saw he wasn't laughing with you.
"you're the leader of a gang?" you squeaked after a few minutes of explanations. "oh my god...does that mean you've killed people?"
"what?! no!" he waved his hands frantically. "we're just trying to protect the street from other gangs. big deal is more of like...a crew"
he sighed, rubbing his neck sheepishly. "look, i understand if you want to end things...it's not the most honourable occupation"
you eyed him suspiciously. "so you don't do like...illegal stuff?"
he gulped slightly. "no"
...well not anymore. so it's not a complete lie.
you narrowed your eyes, not looking convinced. "...so big deal is 100% clean?"
...jake really should've just told the truth, but the lie escaped before he had time to think. "yep. i swear"
you looked at him for a few moments before holding out your pinkie finger. "promise?"
jake linked his pinkie with yours, crossing his fingers behind his back. "i promise"
𖠋♡𖠋
jake remembers how you gave him his first kiss. how you smiled against his lips, even as his hands slightly trembled. it felt like fireworks. everything else melted away — his humour, his walls — just the flutter of something new. something he never thought he needed until now.
he still remembers the first time he brought you to the street, how everyone at big deal greeted you with 90 degree bows, how you waved your hands and told them it wasn't necessary.
or jerry's instant barrage of questions and how you sat through every one, how he gave jake his nod of approval afterwards.
or how the girls handed you a bag, giving you winks as jake stared in confusion. he remembers how beautiful you looked in the dress they gifted you, how you left him speechless.
or how he held you a bit longer than usual the night before rescuing sinu.
𖠋♡𖠋
"sinu! you won't believe it! boss jake got himself a girl!"
"what?!" sinu shrieked in excitement. "jake, you little rascal! i'm gone for a few years and you find yourself a lover?" sinu aggressively rubbed elbows with his.
jake smiled sheepishly, his cheeks flushed pink in a rare sight. "you'll really like her"
sinu smiled gently. "i already do. it's hard to find understanding people like that"
jerry doesn’t miss how jake's smile turned plastered as he nodded.
𖠋♡𖠋
"boss?"
"yeah jerry?"
jerry set his spoon down, thinking of the best way to phrase this. "...you know i'll support whatever you choose, but i think she deserves to know everything"
"...i know" he said quietly.
and jake was going to tell you. eventually.
𖠋♡𖠋
it happened a few days after sinu's return. jake remembers how you asked to meet with him, how your gaze was fixed on the sea even as he came to stand beside you.
"hey...are you okay?" he asked, immediately sensing something off.
"did you run an illegal gambling ring?"
and that's when it hit him — like a punch to the gut he wasn’t ready for. jake felt like he couldn't breathe. he stood frozen beside you, heart hammering in his ears.
you weren’t screaming, you weren’t crying, you were just…asking.
"...where did you hear that?" he said, his voice wobbling slightly.
you exhaled shakily. "this short guy with glasses came to visit me yesterday. he said you ran a gambling ring and went to prison for it"
eugene? revenge for breaking the alliance? eugene really went out of his way to do that? but in hindsight, it was the perfect way to crush him before crushing big deal.
jake remembers how dull your eyes were that day. there were no tears, no emotions, no sniffling. until he realised you did all your crying the night before.
you continued, your voice cracking. "and i said...i said he was a liar, that you'd never do that, but then he showed me pictures of you in prison"
"he said that you took advantage of innocent people...the elderly, teenagers, people trying to send their kids to college"
the memories he wanted to block came back to him all at once.
— Give me back my money, you fuckers! That money was for my daughter's university tuition! I swear to god, I'll blow this whole place up. I mean it!
— Go ahead. Do it. You don't even have the balls. So why did you bother bringing that heavy gas tank? Get him out of here.
"...he said that you profited off of prison fights, that people placed bets and you collected the money for yourself"
jake remembers how pathetic he felt just standing there and listening. there was nothing he could say.
"you promised...and we've been together for months" you said, choking on your words. "i don't care that you lied to me, but you swore that big deal was different. why did you do it?"
"...i had no choice" he whispered. "i tried everything. i needed the money to get sinu back...i had no other options"
you turned to look at him. despite the resignation in your voice, your eyes were starting to water. "that's...not the only thing he said. he said that big deal were okay to let innocent people be taken as hostages...that you just stood there and let it happen"
his blood ran cold. the summit meeting.
"at least tell me the hostage thing isn't true" you croaked. "teenage girls, a middle aged woman...even a baby...tell me he's wrong about that"
jake still couldn't bring himself to look at you. "no, it's true...it's all true"
in spite of your resolve, he heard sniffling. "why?"
"i know it's despicable. it's terrible, but...i had to protect my people. i'd...i'd do it to protect you" he mumbled.
"...protect me from what?"
...workers? rival gangs? enemies of his father? but if he hadn't brought you into his life, you'd never have to worry about that.
in that moment, jake realised he only needed to protect you from himself.
the silence lingered as you sniffled some more. jake glanced at you, the tears now streaming down your face. he reached a hand out, but quickly brought it back to his side, knowing better.
realising you weren't getting an answer, you continued. "...whatever. i don't even care anymore" you muttered.
"i understand why you did those things, but...i can't pretend to be okay with it. i would never want you to protect me if this is what it takes"
he nodded slowly, knowing what was going to happen.
"so i think it's best if we end this" you said shakily.
jake finally turned to look at you, flashing that plastered smile he hates having to use. "i understand...i'm sorry for wasting your time"
you looked at jake for a while, probably expecting more of a fight from him. but the truth is, he couldn't say all the things he wanted.
i'm so sorry. i'm so ashamed of everything. i'll be better for you. i'll never do those things again. i need you. please don't leave.
it wouldn't be true. if he had to do those things again, he would. in a weird way, jake is thankful that eugene pulled the trigger, because he's not sure he wanted to escape the lie of being a good person.
finally, you nod. "...i'm sorry i was dumb enough to believe you"
and as you began walking away, jake finally let out the tears he was holding.
just as he got sinu back, he's loosing something else. but this time, he knows you're not returning.
𖠋♡𖠋
jake should've told you from the beginning. but either way, he always knew it would turn out like this. he was being selfish, living in a fantasy where he could have you and big deal. or maybe he believed the sweetness of your relationship could erase his actions somehow, that he was never jake kim, head of the numbers racket.
he still remembers lineman asking where you went, how jake's sad smile told him everything, how he never brought the topic back up again.
jake never stops thinking about you. you're like a thorn on his side he never wants to take out. he wonders if you've ever thought of him since then, he hopes you have at least once.
sometimes he wonders what it would be like to show up at your door with flowers, saying those three words he was thinking about professing. i love you. i would do anything for you. please give me a second chance. you're everything to me.
but he can't. he can't have both.
jake still looks at your pictures together when he's alone. he still reads through your old messages. he can never bring himself to delete the remnants of you.
jake still wonders what it would be like to experience you completely. how every touch, every unveiling would be so new to him. his cheeks would've been dusted pink, clumsy in his attempts to make you feel cherished. he imagines kissing every inch of you, each kiss feeling like the discovery of something precious. he would've wondered how he got so lucky to see you like this — so beautiful, so entirely his.
jake still remembers your laugh, the one that made his chest ache in a good way, how it felt like he was the only person who could make you laugh like that. he still remembers the way your hand would hover over his, waiting for him to hold it first, and how when he did, you’d give him that little smile, like the world was okay just because you two were together.
jake just remembers everything about you.
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"uh...jake?"
he snaps back to the present, glancing at daniel who's sitting on a bench near him.
"are you okay?" daniel asks in confusion. "you've been staring at that vending machine for a while...you must be pretty indecisive. in that case, i recommend the diet coke"
...
times are tough, huh? let me get that for you.
he laughs softly, shaking his head. "sorry. i was just lost in my thoughts"
today, jake thinks he misses you a bit more.
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divider: @cafekitsune
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softshuji · 2 days ago
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hi babesss!! for ur post about the requests, do u mind writing something about timeskip ran? anything fluffy u can do whatever. thank u🤍
cw: none!
Ran's been holding your hair back for the past twenty minutes now. Or at least that's how long you think it's been but you're not sure and it's even harder to tell the time when the room seems to spin every time you look up from the toilet bowl.
'Oh god, this feels awful,' you mumble, your forehead pressed to your wrist and clammy as Ran rubs soothing circles on your back through your shirt. 'I'm never ever doing this again.'
He laughs and it's a bright sound, a tinkly sound like a star clinking against another, the sort of melodic chime that sounds a little like a song. 'Oh I know, it's pretty shitty isn't it? Rindou gets like this too whenever he drinks. A lot messier than this though I have to say- you're doing really well, all things considered.'
And he's trying not to find amusement in it when you're clearly nauseous and in distress but he can't help but simmer with a faint and curling warmth in his chest when he thinks of how proud and honoured he is to be here at all, with you, at this late hour as you throw up in the toilet. Your hair is a little sweaty and sticky with it and he wipes it back and tucks it behind your ear as another bout of nausea comes and goes and you take a swig of water from the bottle he's graciously provided.
'That's nice to hear but nothing about this feels like it's going well at all.' And you groan and heave, dry heaving now since most of it has come out, the emptiness in your stomach now making an appearance every time your insides seem to roll.
Ran hums and pulls the hair tie from his wrist to secure your hair back, rinsing off a wet cloth to wipe the sweat down from your forehead and temples, passing it over your neck and the chill has you shivering in your shirt as ran turns to rinse it off again.
You watch, your eyes glassy and sleep now coming quick. 'Thank you,' you say because it feels right, because it feels like you should and you want him to know that even when it's like this and you're being so much, so intense and taking up his time, you see it still and you love him despite yourself.
'Hm? For what?'
You chew up the words, measuring them out as the heaviness coats your tongue. 'For helping me, for being here. I mean- I mean it.' It's slurred, and coated with fatigue, the light suddenly too harsh and bright, an ache and heaviness to your limbs he doesn't miss.
'It's not a problem you know, I wanted to be here so I am.'
'Still... thank you.'
'Mhm, you tired now or something?' He asks even if he knows, even if he sees your head sagging against your arm resting on the toilet seat and before you nod, he's put the cloth down to scoop you up, safe and warm against his chest.
You don't speak as he carries you to bed, and tucks you in with the sheets pulled to your chin but he senses your eyes now drooping and fighting to stay open, just to hold him in your line of sight, in your periphery for a second longer and he leans down to kiss your forehead, lets his lips linger there against the skin.
Just so he can feel you for a second longer too.
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pearlofthewoods · 22 hours ago
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Oh OKAY JANE ESPENSON with After Life!
So the beautiful scene that begun this whole thread… was written by a woman?
Sounds about right. ↕️🙂
(Thank you thank you Jane Espenson for all you gave to us Spuffy girlies 🥰, we are forever in your debt.)
But honestly, I never even considered that there would be such a gendered split between the healthier Spuffy writing and the more toxic-ish Spuffy writing. I just thought it might be a change in writers in general that created some of the more inconsistent-with-previous-episodes characterisation.
But now I realise it that was that, but it was also probably something to do with the men.
So I now feel very vindicated in questioning it in my earlier post.
Thanks so much for doing the research @aphony-cree. 🙏 This was a very enlightening read.
p.s. And in honour of Jane Espenson, I’m including the two scenes that first made me truly fall in love with Spuffy, all those years ago.
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(snippet from the gorgeous Buffyverse Wiki ‘After Life’ transcript since Tumblr won’t let me add 2 videos at once 🥲)
DAWN: Spike? Are *you* okay?
SPIKE: I'm ... what did you do?
DAWN: Me? Nothing.
Buffy clutches the top of her shirt closed, looks up at Spike a little fearfully.
SPIKE: Her hands.
Buffy lowers her hands, puts them behind her back, looks uncomfortable.
DAWN: Um, I was gonna fix 'em. I don't know how they got like that.
SPIKE: I do. Clawed her way out of a coffin, that's how. (to Buffy) Isn't that right?
BUFFY: (quietly) Yeah. That's ... what I had to do.
SPIKE: Done it myself.
Throughout this, Spike continues staring at her as if he thinks he's dreaming. Now he snaps out of it.
SPIKE: Um ... We'll take care of you. Come here.
He puts out his arm and guides Buffy into the living room.
SPIKE: (to Dawn) Get some stuff, uh, mercurochrome, bandages.
DAWN: Okay.
Dawn goes off. Spike follows Buffy into the living room. She sits on the sofa and he sits on the coffee-table facing her. He takes her hands in his and looks at them. Then he looks up at her face and their eyes meet.
BUFFY: How long was I gone?
SPIKE: Hundred forty-seven days yesterday. Uh ... hundred forty-eight today. (smiles a little) 'Cept today doesn't count, does it?
And secondly;
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“But I want you to know I did save you. Not when it counted, of course, but ... after that. Every night after that. I'd see it all again ... do something different. Faster or more clever, you know? Dozens of times, lots of different ways ... (softly) Every night I save you.”
So thank you Jane Espenson, for giving me the version of Spuffy and of Spike that I’ll always carry in my heart.
The gentler, kinder version that I always hoped they’d find their way back to. This was the goal. This was the aim. And by the end of Season 7, I think they were finally getting there again. They just took the long way round.
Buffy wanting some time alone then telling Spike "That's okay. I can be alone with you here" is one of the most romantic lines ever, but then they followed it up with Spike telling her "Buffy, if you're in … if you're in pain … or if you need anything… or if I can do anything for you.." and they really expected us to think they were bad together and shouldn't be a couple
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juchily · 3 days ago
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Yellowjackets official trailer thoughts
The SOS message was crossed out to be changed to "SOS going *deeper*" so caves??
Mari's in danger lol
theyre putting together the feast thing I can see at least Nat and Van are I can't tell who the others are
they saved one of the seats from the airplane to turn into a seat at their new camp, just thought that was a cool detail
Lottie gets bloody, probably eating something (think that's her? Looks like her coat too)
second winter hunt outfits so we'll get some sort of look at the second winter
when the girls are jumping (Misty, Akilah, etc) they're chanting "Burn"
Tai shoots someone, probably Ben
Misty is sowing the seeds of deceit into the group, we can see it looks like she's telling Shauna that Nat might know where coach Ben is but just isn't telling them and might not deserve to be the leader. It's really interesting because she's selling out Nat here for supposedly lieing about knowing where Ben is. Maybe she acts the way she does in the adult timeline, being buddy-buddy with Nat because she regrets it
this is what probably leads to Shauna doing her coup thing
Natalie goes back to the plane wreck, she seems shocked? I wouldn't image Ben's actually hiding there so I wonder what that's about
Nat gets beat/hit, guess it's a trial against her (WHHHYYYYY)
and then they go to hunt Ben down I'm guessing to "give the wilderness what it wants"
they let out lanterns, five specifically with Lottie being the head of whatever ceremony this is supposed to be. They're dressed in the same robes as during the new feast
Shauna gets to bury wilderness baby now that the ground is soft again, maybe Nat going back to the plane wreck is to finally bury Jackie's bones
What *did* they tell people when they got rescued? We know Lottie went nonverbal, a good few of them if not all of them probably did at least immediately after. We know they stayed low besides Taissa with her senator stuff but that was even longer after the initial rescue by two decades. They "prayed/preyed" but what else did they tell officials? Will we get a look at an interview scene either for a live show or by the cops maybe?
Shauna is *not* chill this season and I love it but also nat deserves so much better right now
Lottie bites into a piece of meat during the festival thing I think?? The girls are all screaming
Shauna gets a letter with the symbol on it. Note that before this scene we see someone with a letter/file thing in their hands, they're light skinned wearing a gray hoodie, Shauna in the second scene is wearing something different + Shauna also gets a cassette tape (I believe that's what it is)
Someone is picking up a Queen card from the ground, a road (Hilary Swanks new character?)
Tai and Van are out in public, looks like they're talking, they're dressed in all black clothes it looks, idk what's going on anymore
Shauna goes to Misty it looks like about the letter she got and Misty is on the case (dressed in what's probably adult Nat's jacket)
it looks like there's a person in a bag or covered in some sort of sheet?? I have absolutely no clue what this scene is but it's interesting for them to add
Callie and Misty... The duo I never knew I needed. Callie does not believe any of Misty's shit
Ben screaming, like hes definitely being eaten alive i just can't get if he isn't
Lottie gets out of the ward?? Maybe it's a scene of adult Lottie getting out of the ward after she was first put in it after the rescue
misty's cute bright green watch I can't, and really?? Is that underwear as a mask she's a carpet muncher your honour
looks like adult tai eating sea food?
That odd scene of Misty looking to stab Shauna again
Hillary Swanks character running (the only thing I can think of with the focus on Melissa in the trailer and it seeming that she gets more screentime this season is that its adult Melissa)
Tai and Van are running?
we see an arrow hit a tree, which is dod because they don't have a bow and arrow and I know for a fact they don't know how to make a bow and arrow, so unless this is in the adult timeline, very interesting
a very gory scene?? I really can't make it out it might be Tai? It also might be a hand coming down to cover the person's mouth??
infighting during the second winter
weird fire supernatural shit
ghost jackie <3
Nat is horrified
Tai is crying hysterical horrified in adult timeline (lord if something happened to Van... It could be something about Simone and Sammy—was that the kids name?— too)
shauna crashing out adult timeline too
Lottie screaming, like normal
close up of either Melissa or Shauna's eyes, tweaking out or something
Van like falls or something?? Like she's had a heart attacked
Akilah is not having a fun time... what
Travis with the gun
misty + Shauna rode trip? It looks like they're driving into a group of gravestones
Mari sprays something?
Tai suffocating an old man in a hospital with a pillow with Misty in the doorway... I don't even know what life is anymore. Sleepy Tai? Misty having a drug trip or nightmare??
Shauna pulls a knife on Melissa (we get to see them interact a fair share in this trailer so I'm interested in that dynamic. New Shauna ship just dropped everyone)
we see a shot of a see through phone in a drawer, very reminiscent of those old phones that you would see back in the teen timeline
Shauna in the lake being pulled down, the water is red
looks like someone breaks the shit out of their leg or dislocates it
mari gets pushed into the ground
I literally have it on the slowest playback and I can't tell what's going on
Travis is in pain, Lottie is smiling. I'm intrigued.
Hillary Swanks character says to a person above her "you really are insane)
We see someone biting another person who's probably alive (maybe the person above hillary's character was Shauna and then Shauna bites her)
young Van falling into a white duvet? After rescue maybe
van tai adult timeline kiss
a door opening, looks very wilderness like
We see a shot of a rabbit
Misty is exploring somewhere it looks like it's underground
other tai smiling holy shit that freaks me the hell out
The man with no eyes... Also freaky I recommend not going through the trailer on slowest speed and pausing alot because the freaky music mixed with the freaky shots is overall, quite freaky
Lottie looks to be getting choked
So uh... Yeah.
Anyways, I hope we get to see more of Simone and Sammy, the no eyed man, I'm really interested in what this season has to show us with Nat and Misty's dynamics as well as Shauna with everyone overall. Nat definitely deserves a lot better. I wonder if Lottie stands up for her at all, doesn't look like Travis likes Nat too much in the scene with Nat on the ground bleeding...
The song choice was great, can't wait to see the rest of the soundtrack! The overall vibes and cinematics of this season looks awesome and it's probably going to be way more traumatic and gorey than the others if the writers have anything to say about it
And most of all... WE BETTER SEE THE VAN TAN!
Edit:
To add to things I want to see—
the acknowledgement of Doomscoming in some capacity
+ Javi's death...
Jane Widdop please come back to play ghost Laura Lee 🙏
more Callie
it'd be cool to see Lisa again (Nat's funeral 👀)
PRE CRASH SCENEEEEEESSSS
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scrumptiousstuffs · 1 day ago
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hiii scrumptious!! i miss sending u asks
can i ask for a analysis of firstkhaotung’s kisses we’ve got so far? which is your favourite and why is your favourite, we need tongueeee
Anon!!!! Why must you torture me with this ask??? 😫😫😫 (torture me more, I love talking about FK and their kisses 🙂‍↕️🙂‍↕️🙂‍↕️)
But, how do you expect me to choose my favourite FK kisses?? Do you know how challenging this asked was? And I can’t possibly do an analysis of all their kisses - Our Skyy 2 alone had more than 20 kisses? (I think)… I will have to write a thesis if I want to analyse every single kisses. I was this close 🤏 to binge watch all their series but alas…I have bills to pay and a fur-baby to feed.
So….instead, I think back to their kisses that sticks in my mind ? - it must make me feel something emotionally when I watched them (and that’s difficult cause FK is so damn good with their intimacy and NC scenes I had to think hard to narrow down my choices)
Without further ado, my top 5 list (list is only current as of The Heart Killers EP9):
No 5: Only Friends EP 2 smoky kiss plus Sand kissing Ray’s left hip tattoo
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- Do I like people who smoke? No. But this was cinematic anyway. It was artistic (to me) and you could feel the sexual tension screaming from miles away. And when they gave in to their attraction, the chemistry was off the chart and Sand worshipping Ray’s tattoo was just pure magic 🪄
No 4: Only Friends EP 9 caravan scene (especially the soft, soft kiss Ray bestowed on Sand’s cheek after they have done their tango in bed 🤸)
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- The softness of the whole scene was beautiful to watch. There was something pure and personal as we watch these 2 finally coming to terms about their feelings for each other.
No 3: Our Skyy 2 x The Eclipse bridge scene
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-The whole scene had me giggling and kicking my legs in excitement. The boys kissing with the sun setting behind them was just.....😍😍😍
-And people talking about tongue involvement? - I am sure there were some tongue action here (also, tell me anon, why are people so invested in tongue-action? I mean i don't mind them but I am not going to fuss if FK's characters don't do them each time!)
No 2: The Eclipse Finale with Akk bestowing the soft pecks/kisses on Aye’s face
- I will always have a soft spot for my babies. As much as I adore all of FirstKhaotung characters, AkkAye have a special place in my heart. And because I can, I’m putting the whole video clip of the scene rather than gifs or screenshots 🥰
- There is something special about this scene where Akk was finally the one that made the first move; initiating the hug followed by the soft kisses. The awe and disbelief in Aye’s eyes before it shifted to soft delight and slight mischievous as he then reciprocate Akk’s gesture. I think we often forget that Aye is just as young and vulnerable like Akk. And to see Akk finally reaching out to Aye just made my heart melt 🫠
No 1: The Heart Killers EP 8 swing scene
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-I love the whole damn thing - from the nuzzling to Kant sniffing Bison’s hair like he wants to imprint him to his soul to Kant gently biting Bison’s nose before they continued their heady make out session.
- This whole thing was just peak intimacy 👌. Nobody does it better than them. Their feelings laid bare, Kant is now free to be as disgustingly affectionate and loving like he always wanted to be. It’s just so so good. Also, let’s be honest, we know KantBison would continue to make out for hours on that swing.
Honourable mentions:
The Eclipse EP6 Akk fantasy kiss
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*I remember watching this scene and thought - oh, Aye finally made the move. But then to find out it was all in Akk's mind???? It flipped the narrative and it made me realised that this was likely the first time we saw from Akk's perspective that he is stupidly horny for the irritating boy who keeps him on his toes
Only Friends EP9 angry-lust driven kiss in the music room
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*This was just a good kiss because you can feel the anger from Sand but he was so in love with Ray that he can't help but give it. Ray as usual, clocked it and he pounced! And the sheer amount of lust pouring out of these 2....I cursed when Top stepped into the room
The Heart Killers Ep 9 KantBison sweet pecks in the sea
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*KantBison making sweet memories to replace Kant's nightmare and phobia will hold something special to my heart (does it make sense for Kant to completely forget his fear? - not really, but I will forgive the narrative because I get my domestic KantBison!)
Plus…..
FirstKhaotung sweet kisses in My Fuel MV (because we didn’t get Alan/Gaipa or Alone/Kaitong kissing - I’m going to substitute with the clip we got from First’s MV and just think it’s Alan/Gaipa in them, ok?)
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*Those jubi jubi kisses are giving me butterflies and I can't stop smiling every time I rewatch the MV!
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yourfriendlyfanperson · 3 days ago
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A Chemical Reaction Called Love
Chapter 3: A Boring Life
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~Pairing: Steve Harrington x F!reader
~Summary: Being the daughter of Hawkins Middle School Science teacher, Scott Clarke, has its perks. Constantly having to explain things to 'King' Steve Harrington wasn't necessarily one of them but it was something you had gotten used to. He might not be the brightest guy but at least he tried, and you appreciated that. You had big plans for the future, but they might be forced to change thanks to a phone call...
~Warnings: Sensitive topics might be brought up so reader discretion is advised.
~Word Count: 3.4k
~Authors Note: Hey everyone! Here's chapter three! Thanks so much for the love on the previous chapters! I'm still getting used to how posting fanfics on tumblr works so I appreciate all the likes and reposts! If you'd like to be tagged in the next chapter let me know! Once again you can find me on Ao3 as Lilpipsqueak and W-tpadd as friendlyfanperson!
Does anyone know how I can make the previous chapter numbers appear and be linked to this? I've been trying to figure it out lol
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~Narrator's POV~
Y/n walks inside the middle school going to her dad's room, the place is very quiet, which is the opposite of what the school is usually like, there is a very uncomfortable atmosphere around but it's to be expected, after all, one of the students was announced dead, it's not something that ever happens or people think will happen.
"Hi dad," She says standing at the door.
"Hey honey, thanks for coming to help the kids by talking about losing someone," He tells her walking out of the room.
"No worries, how are the boys doing?" She asks him, walking next to him.
"I'm not sure, I haven't seen them today, they must be having a rough time though, I can't even imagine"
Y/n doesn't even want to imagine how they must be feeling, they're only twelve years old and have already lost their best friend to some terrible accident, no kid should go through what they're going through, but the circumstances can't be changed, unfortunately, and all they can do is be there for the boys so things are easier for them, comfort them in any way possible, and make sure that Will's memory lives on.
"Attention students, there will be an assembly to honour Will Byers in the gymnasium now. Do not go to fourth period"
The principal announced from the speakers, when it all goes quiet again they can hear voices coming from somewhere near and just as they turn to the right they see the three boys with a girl standing in the corridors.
"Boys?" Scott says as they turn to look at him.
"Hey," Lucas says, trying not to seem suspicious.
"The assembly is about to start" Y/n adds.
"We know," Mike tells her, "We're just, you know"
"Upset," Lucas explains with a smile before looking down sad.
"Yeah, yeah, definitely upset" Dustin repeats.
"We need some alone time," Mike says.
"To cry" Dustin adds.
Y/n looks at them confused, noticing they are acting stranger than usual.
"Yeah, listen, I get it, I do" Mr Clarke begins telling them, "I know how hard this is, but let's just be there for Will, huh? And then" he gets his keys out from his pocket and tosses them to Mike, "The Heathkit is all yours for the rest of the day, what do you say?" he asks them.
The boys look at him with a smile nodding, happy with the idea.
"I haven't seen you around here before, is she new? What's your name?" Y/n asks the blonde girl standing next to Mike.
"Elev-" The girl begins to say before she's interrupted by Mike, Lucas and Dustin.
"Eleanor, she's my-"
"Cousin!"
"Second cousin"
"She's here for Will's funeral" Mike adds.
Y/n stands there trying to figure out whether the three boys expected her to really believe the obvious lie they just told her, and by the look of it they were sure she was going to believe it.
"Ah, well, welcome to Hawkins Middle, Eleanor, I wish you were here under better circumstances," Her dad tells the girl.
"Thank you" She softly says.
"Uh, where are you from exactly?" Y/n asks her.
The eyes of the three boys widen as they turn to look at Elenor who shakes her head.
"Bad place-"
"Sweden!" Dustin shouts. "I have a lot of Swedish family" Mike adds. "She hates it there" Dustin mentions. "Cold" Lucas says. "Subzero"
Everything feels very awkward after that, Y/n and Scott look at each other, confusion visible on their face, but they decide to just move past the conversation.
"Shall we?" Her dad says looking at the kids.
"Yep," Lucas says as they all walk towards the sports hall.
Dustin opens the door to the room interrupting the principal and drawing everyone's attention to the five of them.
"Great" Y/n mumbles.
Dustin turns around trying to leave but is pushed back inside by Lucas.
Lucas, Mike, Dustin and Eleanor take a seat on the benches while Y/n and Scott sit on the chairs behind the principal.
"We have Y/n Clarke from Hawkins High to talk to you guys a bit about how it feels to lose someone, Y/n," The principal says turning to look back at her.
She stands up taking a deep breath, public speaking it's not fun, especially having to talk to a bunch of clearly bored and annoying pre-teenagers. Y/n smiles at the principal walking next to him and moving to look at the kids, most of them looked like they couldn't wait for this to be over, some were mildly interested or at least respected the situation, a very small group was actually upset, and then in the crowd, she saw two boys laughing, she noticed that Mike and Lucas saw them too, and man does she hate bullies.
"Can you two at the back be quiet?" She shouts glaring at the two boys, they look back at her embarrassed and annoyed but stop talking, "Thank you"
Now I could share with you the sad story that Y/n is telling the kids, but in reality, the anecdote isn't actually that sad, she doesn't even remember her mother at all, she died when Y/n was only two-years-old in a car accident, but stretching the truth for the kids to stop being little assholes wouldn't hurt at the end of the day. So she put on her best sad face and took ten minutes of the kid's day to share the story.
"So let's keep Will's memory alive, and show some respect," She says finishing her speech. The bell goes off and the kids start leaving the room, Y/n walks over to her dad, "You okay?"
"Yeah I'm okay honey" In comparison to her Scott obviously remembers her mother a lot, and he gets very sentimental whenever someone talks about her, it's a sensitive topic.
"Do you want me to go talk to the kids?" She asks him.
"No don't worry, I'll talk to them you should go back to class," He tells her with a smile, she smiles back at him and waves goodbye as she walks out of the gym.
Y/n walks back to the High School and gets on with her usual day. Nothing interesting really happens after, she just attends her lessons, has lunch with Robin, and then meets once again with her dad so they can go home. Her life really is pretty boring when she thinks about it, always the same cycle over and over, it would be nice to do something new for a change.
~~~~~~~~
The next day school was cancelled since it was Will's funeral.
Y/n woke up at 8:00 am to get ready, the funeral was scheduled to start at 11:00 am and would probably last about two hours, after that most people would attend the wake which would last about an hour or so, which meant Y/n would have enough time to go back home, get changed and then walk to her shift which starts at three thirty.
She changed into the outfit she had planned for the funeral, lucky for her she already had black clothes which meant she didn't need to buy new ones for this day, it wouldn't have been fun to buy clothes for a funeral.
All she could think about while getting ready was the fact she was attending Will's funeral, it really was happening, he was actually dead, it wasn't just a bad nightmare she had anymore, it was a reality. No one ever wants to attend the funeral of someone younger than them, they're supposed to live longer than you after all, so when that doesn't happen it's just so  heartbreaking.
"Are you ready to go honey?" Scott asks her as he knocks on her door.
"Yeah, let's go," she says walking out of the room and closing the door behind her.
The drive to the funeral was completely quiet, neither Y/n nor her dad had the strength or energy to try and initiate a conversation, there wasn't much to talk about anyway, so really it was for the best.
When they arrived he parked his car at the car park next to the church, they both got out and walked towards Joyce and Jonathan who were standing in front of the soon-to-be grave. Y/n went up to Jonathan and gave him a big hug, she hadn't seen him since Will went missing, and she wanted to ask him how he was feeling but she guessed that was the last thing he needed to be asked today, so instead she just gave him a soft smile as she moved away from the hug and turned to look at Joyce.
She doesn't say anything, she looks so confused to be there like it isn't right.
Y/n wanted to say so much to Joyce, she wanted to tell her how sorry she was for what had happened, how she couldn't believe it was Will out of all the people it could've been, how he was such a fantastic kid he didn't deserve this, but she couldn't tell her that, not at this time anyway, "We'll be here if you need anything" was all she said, with a soft smile.
She turns to look at the kids, she expected them to be already crying their eyes out or something along those lines, but instead, they seemed normal, they didn't look upset or sad, and they didn't even look like they were hiding their feelings, which Y/n would've definitely found weird if it wasn't for the fact that the moment she saw the boys she just wanted to breakdown into tears and hug them.
"How are you guys doing?" She asked them walking over to the boys.
"We're okay," Dustin tells her looking over at Lucas and Mike.
"You guys know it's okay to cry, right?" She tells them.
"Yeah, we know," Dustin says looking at Lucas and Mike, the three of them nodding.
"Good, I'm here if you need to talk" She adds and they smile at her.
More and more people start arriving, but instead of people talking more everything goes completely quiet, and eventually, the funeral begins.
All Y/n is able to do is look down during the entire speech, she barely has the strength to look at Will's casket, it's so small, and caskets shouldn't be that small. In the end, everyone throws some flowers inside the hole before they close it.
Everyone then heads to the wake, there are tables and food organised in the place, and most people are talking, probably about something not even remotely related to Will, Lonnie is speaking to Mr and Mrs Wheeler, meanwhile, Joyce is sitting by herself, on the other side of the room Y/n and Scott are getting some food from the lunch table, when Mike, Lucas and Dustin walk up to them.
"Mr Clarke," Mike says, Scott and Y/n turn around to look at the boys.
"Oh, hey there, how are you boys holding up?" He asks them.
"We're...in...mourning" Lucas answers.
"Man, these aren't real Nilla Wafers" Dustin mumbles, Mike and Lucas turn to look at him as if he just said something irrelevant, which he did but kids usually do that.
"We were wondering if you had time to talk?" "We have some questions" "A lot of questions," Mike and Lucas say.
"What do you want to know?"
Mr Clarke, Y/n and the three boys take a seat on one of the tables and begin to ask the questions, they ask about alternate dimensions but not an alternate dimension where Will's death never happened but more about an evil alternate dimension, like the Vale of Shadows, and then they ask how one would travel there, theoretically of course. Scott explains things to the boys in the simplest way possible which is by comparing things to a flea and an acrobat, explaining how there are places an acrobat, which in this case is them, can only explore so much, meanwhile, a flea will be able to reach places they can't. The boys ask if there's a way the acrobat could reach the upside down, and he explains that it only would be possible by creating an insane amount of energy one bigger than humans can currently make which could open up a gate to reach the upside down.
"Science is neat, but not very forgiving" Scott adds as he finishes explaining things to the boys.
"You guys always have the weirdest questions you know," Y/n says chuckling as she looks at the three boys, she had this feeling that they were hiding something, that there was something going on with them, but she couldn't figure out what it was.
"We're just... very curious," Dustin tells her looking at the other two who nod at this comment.
"Well make sure that curiosity doesn't kill you," She says with a smile standing up, "I should probably start saying goodbye to everyone dad, I need to leave soon so I can get ready for work"
"Are you sure you don't want me to drive you home?" He asks her.
"It's okay, I know you want to stay here longer talking with the boys and everyone else, and I have my skates anyway so it won't take me long to get home" She explains to him.
He sighs smiling at her knowing that he does, in fact, want to stay longer and that either way he won't be able to change her mind, "Be careful" he says.
"I will, love you dad, bye kids, you can call me at home if you need anything okay?"
"Okay"
~~~~~~~
After working for five hours Y/n was finally able to say goodbye to her last customer, she turned on the radio and listened to 'Old Time Rock & Roll' while she cleaned the cafe, dancing along to the song and singing the lyrics as she organised everything and made sure it was nice and clean. When she finally finished she turned off the light and walked out of the cafe closing it and locking it, she put on her skates and started skating over to her house.
She was glad she didn't take today off work because it actually helped her get her mind off everything that had happened lately, the cafe has always been a comfort place of hers so it made her feel better.
Normally she didn't mind going home after work alone, Hawkins had always been a very safe place, and she always carried some bleach in a bottle in her bag just in case, but after Barb's disappearance, the thought of walking alone at night was not so fun. So she decided to skate as fast as she could so she could get home soon, unfortunately, Y/n had her sleeves rolled up and forgot the fact it was a cold night in November and the ground would be frozen, so when she tripped on an uneven step she didn't just stop herself like she usually did but instead fell forwards on the rocky ground scraping her arms.
"Fuck" she says pushing herself up and carefully standing again, she looks down at her arms to see that they're bleeding, great, "Why is blood so dramatic?" she asks herself rolling her sleeves down, not even trying to stop the blood knowing it will be a waste of time anyway.
She continues skating to her home, and slowly this feeling that she's being followed starts growing in her stomach, she turns around to look behind her but sees nothing, she shakes her head, telling herself that she's tired and anxious so it's just her mind making her paranoid, she continues skating but the feeling doesn't go, if anything it just gets worst, she keeps looking around hoping it will make her feel better but instead she sees a weird shadow inside the woods, a tall, dark figure with a strange head; she picks up her pace trying to go as fast as she can while being careful so that she won't fall again, she looks back at the woods to see the figure closer than it was before, she doesn't care if she falls again she starts skating as fast as she possibly can, her eyes not moving away from the tall shadow that was getting closer, scared that she might end up like Barbara, missing and possibly dead.
Meanwhile, Steve Harrington was driving his car down the road she was about to walk across, he had just dropped Tommy and Carol at their house after going to check on Nancy, and it hadn't gone well, he saw her with Jonathan and was convinced that she was cheating on him with Jonathan.
Y/n was freaking out so much she didn't realise when the car stopped right in front of her until she is stopped by the car crashing against the side door, she looks inside the car to see none other than Steve he looks at her confused noticing she had in fact just hit her head against his car, he rolled down his window as she looks back seeing the tall, shadow creature leaving the woods and making its way towards her.
"Hey Einstein, are you okay?" Steve asks checking on her.
Y/n doesn't even take a second to think, her survival instincts and panic took over her brain, and all she does is open the passenger's door getting inside the car.
"Go!" she shouts at him, his eyebrows knit together as he looks at her puzzled.
"What?"
"Steve just go! Go! Go!" she shouts at him.
Steve lets go of the brake pedal and push's down at the accelerator as he turns to the left and drives away as fast as possible, Y/n turns back as she watches the dark creature fade away into the dark disappearing from her view. Neither of them says anything during the drive, Y/n didn't even know where Steve was taking her until he parks in front of a house.
"What the hell just happened?" he asks turning to look at her confused and worried.
"Someone or something was following me, I was trying to get away from it and then I bumped into you and I didn't know what else to do, I got scared I was going to end up going missing or kidnapped or something like that, I'm sorry I didn't mean to get into your car like that" she explains apologising once she takes in the incredibly bizarre situation.
"It's okay, I mean we wouldn't want you to go missing" she nods at him, "Is your arm okay?" he asks, looking down at her arm worried, Y/n turns to look at him confused.
"What?"
"Your jacket has blood around your arm" he points out.
"Oh, it's nothing I just scraped my arms when I fell," she tells him rolling her sleeves up.
"That doesn't look like nothing" he adds.
"It's fine I'll just disinfect it when I get home"
"You could just disinfect it here, we have saline solution," he says turning off the car and looking at her.
"Won't your parents mind?" she asks him, not wanting to bother anyone.
"They're probably already asleep, they won't even notice I just got home, we can quickly disinfect your arms and then I can drive you home" he suggests to her.
"Oh no it's okay I don't want to keep you up for longer"
"It's fine really, I was probably going to stay awake for a while anyway," he says smiling at her as he opens the door and gets out of the car, walking towards the passenger's door.
"Thanks," Y/n says getting out of the car and closing the door, "Who knows what would've happened if I hadn't bumped into you"
"Well, I do owe you big time, this is one of the thirty I guess" he chuckles locking his car and walking to the front door.
"You still got a long way to go," she smiles at him.
"Yeah well let's hope the next one is me passing my chemistry test without your help," he tells her with a smile opening the door.
Y/n laughs at him as she walks inside, "Then you've got a lot of studying to do"
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Thank you for reading! Any likes and reblogs are very appreciated!
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call-sign-shark · 53 minutes ago
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Aouch... The topic of honour killing made me wince but, once again, is really fitting for Nina. I swear I was scared along with her of seing her parents erupted from nowhere when she lef the bedroom.
To be fair, I feel so bad for Nina's guiltriping herself even though it's perfectly logical. Now that the sexual tension is ease, she must feel so bad for Agnese and also her whole family. "ot to mention that she wasn’t just ruining a marriage, but she was ruining the only chance they had at peace for her own selfishness." fuuuckk she's carrying so much on her shoulders. This is something I particularly liked about Nina: he isn't extra, she's the Mary Sue type, she has been through brutal down, but her pain and the importance of her "good behavior" to her family make her situation suffocating. Unbearable. What pains me is that she thinks of her family 24/7 while all of them are convinced she's just playing the stubborn brat.
"Her mother’s face twisted in a sour expression, and her knowing eyes pierced right through her. “Stefano.”" -> Gosh what a huge scare. I thought her mom had found out for Tommy.
“Listen to me, find a good man. Or your father will choose for you and you’ll never get out of here. You will be cursed, and if you have sons, they will be as well, just like your brothers.” -> Oh my god that part had me on the edge of my seat. I have grown very fond of Marry Ferrante. She's such a resiliant, sad but loving mother despite her harshness. The realationship you created between the two of them felt sincerely realistic -- a bit too much aha and i mean it as a compliment. I sincerely feel something in my heart at each of their discussion. Her declaration to Nina had me stop breathing. I'd never expect her to say such things. She meant to do well for her daughter but still failed to see the core of the problem: giving Nina against her consent to somene she doesn't want. Stripping her of her freedom and rights. That's a bit tragic to see that even with love there is still a wall between these two.
She would burn down the church and everybody in it, including herself. -> Yes queen, this is what I call FIERCENESS.
To keep us on edge,” he added, lowering his voice, the grin seeming to become less amused and vaguely threatening. -> I think Ive never told you that but the way you have fleshed Nina's family left my mouth gaped in admiration. You really did a great job with them, they feel so canon to me. Also I snorted really loud at work at Tommy's "also I fucked your daughter last night". Joke aside the whole conversation between Tom and the Ferrante men sent shivers down my spine. I don't know what's your magic trick but you really made them terrifying in this scene, just like predators circling around a prey.
I'm aching for Nina and Tommy. I cannot imagine how ba they felt, how awful it is to fight against their love. This line "“We made a mistake,” Nina finished his sentence for him, trying to keep her voice steady despite the lump in her throat. “I made a mistake.”" made me realize how ina is both strong and fragile at the same time. And surprisingly self-beating... His declaration, while beautiful, was like getting stab in the heart in this impossible situation. I understand perfectly why she feels like he makes it difficult.
Her mouth went dry, but she didn’t avert her gaze this time. “It’s all in your head.” -> aouch; can you stop hurting me? However it's tragicqally beautiful how you mirror her words with how she really feels.
ARGHHHHHH THIS ENDING I CANNNN'T. Seriously you're the queen of slow burn and I mean it. I am astonished by your skills, how you handle the pace of your story, the characterization... Just wow.
Heart, Body and Soul || Tommy Shelby x OC
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CHAPTER 10
Summary: mistakes were made the previous night, and Tommy and Nina are forced to come to terms with what the consequences of their actions will be.
Warnings: time-typical misogyny, talks of arranged marriage, talks of forced marriage, mentions of killing, mentions of violence, mentions of sex, angst, small age-gap (Tommy’s 30, Nina is in her early 20s). This is set between season 1 and 2. English is not my first language.
Important information for context: the honour killing and the shotgun wedding at the time in Italy were recognised by the Penal Code and were only abolished in 1981.
PREVIOUS CHAPTER
SERIES MASTERLIST
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Dividers credits
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Fuck. Fuck fuck fuck.
It took Nina less than a minute to realise that she had woken up in a bed that wasn’t hers, in a room that wasn’t hers, beside someone she wasn’t supposed to be lying with. Memories from the previous night flooded back to her mind in a powerful wave. The passionate but gentle touches, the reassuring words, the adoring glances of that man that had bursted into her life to sweep her off her feet and make her question everything, all in the name of something more intense than anything she had ever felt.
Her eyes trailed over Tommy’s face, tracing the regular line of his jaw, the small scar under his chin, the outline of his slightly parted lips, the curve of his nose, mesmerised by the way his long lashes brushed his freckled cheeks. There was no hint of the stern, cold facade he put on every single day. He looked relaxed. Peaceful, even. Once again, she found herself drawn to that beauty, a beauty that seemed carved from marble by God himself.
Shit.
Careful not to wake him, she got up to collect the stained bedsheet she had tossed on the floor the previous night, wondering how she’d manage to wash it without arousing the suspicions of her mother. Taking a deep breath, she opened the door just enough to make sure no one was in the hallway, half-convinced that her mother or her father would appear from nowhere and find out the disgrace she had brought upon the family.
Just fucking do it, she scolded herself.
After one last moment of hesitation, she walked out the room, closing the door behind her ever so slowly before sprinting towards her bedroom. As soon as she was in the safety of those four walls, she breathed out a sigh full of frustration, nervously dropping the items she was holding to the floor.
What the fuck had she done?
Her gaze was caught by the bloodstain on the bedsheet, red, vibrant. She kicked it in a corner of the room, unable to think under the accusatory looks it seemed to send her. What would she do now? Pretend nothing had happened, again? She couldn’t. She knew she couldn’t. How was she supposed to act normal around him, now that they had truly crossed the line? How was she supposed to even look Agnese in the eyes? She had betrayed her. She had betrayed her whole family. Not only had she ruined herself, she had ruined herself with her cousin’s future husband. A future husband who hadn’t even proposed yet because of her. Not to mention that she wasn’t just ruining a marriage, but she was ruining the only chance they had at peace for her own selfishness.
The scariest thing was that wasn’t even the worst part. If the thing were to come out, she’d be irremediably deemed as a whore. It wasn’t her reputation she was worried about, it was the consequences her family would face. The consequences she would face. She had tarnished the Ferrante name, and only her blood could wash that stain away.
Normally the options were two: a shotgun wedding or an honour killing, but in her case the choice was even more limited. Because while her father might consider marrying her off to Tommy, uncle Mario would never accept the offence. And everyone in the family would vote against the alliance with the Shelbys. She knew her father and brothers would never actually kill her. They would get angry, maybe even beat her, lock her in the family home for the rest of her days, but never that. They would’ve learned to live with the shame. But she had uncles, and aunts, and cousins who would want to clean their name.
No, the truth couldn’t come out. What had happened the previous night must never get past the walls of Tommy’s room. Even if it meant losing him forever.
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That morning, Maria Ferrante was rather surprised to find out her daughter had woken up feeling particularly cooperative and decided to wash and change everybody’s bedsheets of her own free will. She was now hanging them out in the sun, under her incredulous stare.
“Even your brothers’?”
“Yeah, for when they’re back.”
That was new. Nina had always stubbornly refused to even set foot in Salvatore’s and Pietro’s rooms, adamant that it was their responsibility to keep their stuff clean. Maria figured that, just like her, she didn’t like it when her father sent them away on business, and that her worry had taken the shape of rare gestures of fondness. Or maybe she was just keeping herself occupied, as she always did when something troubled her.
The first assumption wasn’t too far away from the truth. Sure, Nina had her own interests behind that sudden prodigality, but getting their rooms ready for their return made her feel like they would, with no doubt, come back. Like nothing would go wrong.
“That cake I found in the kitchen,” her mother inquired again, and Nina had to restrain herself from rolling her eyes at her unrelenting interrogation. “Where did it come from?”
“I made it last night. Couldn’t sleep.”
A few seconds of silence followed, and it made her hope her mother was done with the questions. She had never been a good liar, not with the people who knew her well. Her face was an open book on which the truth stood out, black ink on pristine white paper.
“Nina,” Maria’s stern voice cut the air. “I know what’s going on.”
The blood froze in her veins. She thought she had been careful. She was sure no one had seen sneaking in or out Tommy’s room, all hell would’ve broken loose otherwise. There was no way she really knew. She swallowed, sending her a glance, completely unable to say anything.
Her mother’s face twisted in a sour expression, and her knowing eyes pierced right through her. “Stefano.”
Nina had to hold back a sigh of relief. She secured a pillowcase on the line, able to breath again now that she knew her secret was still safe. However, that name alone was enough to deepen the frown on her face, the mere sound of it making her skin crawl.
“You’re worried cause your father wants to give you to him.”
Give you to him. That sentence made her wrinkle her nose. She had always disliked that expression. Give you to him as if you’re a possession to be handed from one owner to another. Give you to him as if you’re a bargaining chip. Give you to him because you belong to me and you’re mine to give.
“I wanted that too,” Maria continued. “I thought he was good, but now I see. These men,” she lowered her tone, as if to tell her something meant for no one’s ears but hers. “They’re all the same. They’re cursed.”
It would’ve been an understatement to say that her words had taken Nina aback. That woman so defined by her role as a wife and a mother had now a look, an anger in her eyes she had never witnessed, that clashed with the meek acceptance she wore on her face every day. “Do better. Marry someone good. Someone honest, with an honest work. Leave this life behind while you’re still in time. I didn’t have that choice,” she shook her head, her features hardening under the weight of a pain that had been suppressed for too long. “I was poor, my family was starving, and when your father came to speak to my father I couldn’t choose. Your father has been good to me, and I grew to love him. But he is who he is and does what he does, and it’s not something easy to live with.”
Nina opened her mouth to speak, but closed it right away. Nothing she could possibly say after that was even remotely worth saying. All of a sudden, she regretted all the times she had cruelly told her she’d rather kill herself than end up like her.
Her eyes widened when her mother grabbed one of her hands and held it between both of hers, her calloused fingers a reminder of the years she had spent working to bring money to her parents. Maria Ferrante never spared herself when it came to show affection to her sons, but with her it was different. Nina had always believed it depended on the fact that she was not the daughter she would have wanted, or on the countless fights they had, or even on some kind of resentment she didn’t know how to justify. But the naturalness with which she brought her hand to her cheek to tenderly caress it carried a motherly love that left her speechless, and almost made her feel uncomfortable.
“Listen to me, find a good man. Or your father will choose for you and you’ll never get out of here. You will be cursed, and if you have sons, they will be as well, just like your brothers.”
Nina took a step back, the rage that had been simmering inside her ever since she was little threatening to rise to the surface and spill out. As a child, she had often imagined that feeling she couldn’t name as a stream of lava that would rise and rise until there was no room for it to grow anymore and it would overflow, implacable, ruthless, destroying everything it found in its path. Even now that she was older, even now that she had learned to recognise her anger, it still felt the same.
“I have a friend from church, who has a son. He lives in Florence now, but he’s here for the summer. I can arrange something-”
“Mum…” she interrupted her, not even listening at that point. But her mother went on, talking fast, as if she no longer had control over what she was saying.
“I can arrange something, and you can leave this life behind. You can come visit, from time to time. On holidays.”
“No one ever leaves this life, you should know it,” she murmured, trying hard to keep her calm. It was clear her mother wasn’t thinking straight, in her desperate attempt to spare her from the same destiny as her. Unaware that she was accidentally pushing her in a very similar direction.
As though that simple statement had managed to bring her back to her senses, Maria blinked, her expression changing.
“I won’t drag anyone else into this mess. And sure as hell I won’t marry a man just to escape another,” Nina said firmly. She wasn’t going to let Spinietta influence her decisions more than she had already did. She wasn’t going to let the fear make her stray away from her morals, her beliefs. She wasn’t going to lose herself.
Back to her composed demeanour, her mother straightened her shoulders, her voice hardening. “You’ll end up marrying Stefano this way. You know it.”
She was aware her mother was implicitly telling her that her father had made up his mind, and that she wouldn’t be able to help her. Yet, she wasn’t scared. Because she’d fight tooth and nail against it. They could drag her to the altar, take the vows out of her mouth by force, it wouldn’t matter. She would raise hell before she let them succeed. She would burn down the church and everybody in it, including herself. She’d die before she surrendered to a life that wanted her bent, broken, obedient.
“It shouldn’t be like this,” she said through gritted teeth.
“But this is what it’s like. It’s time for you to accept it.”
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Bad news was received that day. Antonio Ferrante had written from England, saying that two of Sabini’s men had been caught trying to blow up his restaurant. In the letter, he specified that after a civil conversation about the motives of that unjustified attack, the two had walked away in cement shoes. A coded way to say they had been interrogated and then sent sleeping at the bottom of some river.
It was the first open act of war, and the family was worried it wouldn’t be the last. The strength they had demonstrated by thwarting Sabini’s plan and killing his men would buy them some time, but it wouldn’t be enough in the long run. That was why Tommy found himself sitting in Vincenzo’s office, trying to maintain his imperturbable facade as the Italian stood behind his desk in all his height, with a grave expression on his face. Tommy felt like he was studying him, searching for a sign of weakness that he could use against him, that he could use to make him cave. He recognised that look, cause it was the same one he wore whenever he needed to assert his power.
“I called you, Mr Shelby,” Vincenzo started, turning to grab a bottle of whiskey from a cabinet. “To remind you of your end of the deal.”
Tommy cleared his throat, sitting straight in his chair. “I intend to propose-”
“That’s not what I’m talking about,” Ferrante cut him off, brushing away the matter with a gesture of his hand. He took his time to pour the brown liquid in two glasses, before sliding one across the wooden surface in front of him and beckoning him to drink. Tommy gladly did as he said, the familiar taste of alcohol feeling necessary to face a conversation he wasn’t sure where would lead.
“You promised us men, in our war against Sabini.”
“And men you’ll have,” Tommy assured, switching to the tone he reserved for business. “As soon as I receive the compensation for the warehouse you blew up.”
That had been the result of strenuous negotiations, and to achieve it, not only had he given up on any kind of reparation for the two pubs under the Blinders’ protection the Italians had destroyed along with the warehouse, but he also had to offer some of his best soldiers. However, the war against Sabini was also in his interest, and the power and money he would gain were worth compromising.
With a single, satisfied nod, Vincenzo took a seat in his leather chair. “I am a man of my word, Mr Shelby. You’ll have your compensation,” he guaranteed, grabbing his whiskey. He swirled the drink in his glass, pondering his next words. “That being said, my brother has expressed his concerns to me…”
Here we fucking go.
“His concerns about your lack of a proposal.”
Tommy raised his eyebrows, bringing the liquor to his mouth to stall as his brain formulated an answer. “I still have two days, haven’t I?”
The shadow of a grin grew on the Italian’s face. “And you intend to wait until the very last one,” he pointed at him. “To keep us on edge,” he added, lowering his voice, the grin seeming to become less amused and vaguely threatening. Tommy’s shoulders tensed, but he didn’t falter, nor did he break his stare, for the faintest hint of vacillation would make him as exposed as a prey in front of a beast that could smell fear.
But then Ferrante cracked a smile, his tone lightening. “Or to enjoy what is left of your time as a free man before being handcuffed.”
Tommy let out a forced chuckle, tilting his head in agreement. For once, he couldn’t think of anything to say. What could he say? ‘Speaking of enjoying my time, I fucked your daughter yesterday night’? He would have his head right there and then.
He was in deep shit, and until he found a way to dig himself out, he needed to keep up the act. For himself, for Nina. He couldn’t make any decision without speaking to her first.
“I heard you’re a man of your word as well,” Vincenzo spoke again, snapping him out of his thoughts. “So I told him he has nothing to worry about. Don’t make me regret it.”
Although the last sentence held a clear warning, the Italian spoke calmly, as though he was asking him a favour, rather than admonishing him. He talked and acted like a man who didn’t need to make threats, who knew his word was law and no one would dare go against his wishes. Tommy knew that feeling all too well, he had gotten a taste of it during the past year, and it hadn’t taken long for him to get used to it, and to want more. But in that moment, in that place, he was on his own. Sure, his reputation preceded him, and it protected him to some extent, but he was outnumbered and at a disadvantage. So he had no choice but to comply. To take a step back in order to be a step ahead in the future.
“I won’t.”
“Good,” Ferrante leaned back in his seat, more relaxed now that the important stuff had been cleared out. “Cause Agnese is the apple of his eye,” he added, taking a cigar out of the pocket of his jacket. “His only wish is to see her happy.”
Things were far more complicated than Tommy had anticipated, and despite all his efforts to come up with a plan that would cause the least damage, he couldn’t imagine one scenario in which things didn’t go wrong. He could only take risks.
“Ah, daughters have their own special way of giving you a headache,” Ferrante murmured, waving the cigar. “If you have one, you’ll understand. You may go now, Mr Shelby.”
Clearing his throat, Tommy left the office, his mind endlessly mulling over the matter. He had his hands tied, and that feeling alone was enough for him to fume. No, he wasn’t going to have his hand forced, and he wasn’t going to let anyone scare him into a decision.
A newfound determination made its way inside of him. He was Thomas Shelby, for fuck’s sake. He didn’t need to ask anyone for permission. He took whatever he wanted whenever he wanted. He made the rules. He held the power. Those people needed him just as much as he needed them, if not more, otherwise he would be six feet under already. He wouldn’t make a choice that would suit everyone, he would make the choice that suited him. Him and the woman who was now carved in heart.
Because Nina would suffer the consequences of their actions as much as him, if not more. He had taken liberties with her, and although he had no regrets, he couldn’t pretend he didn’t have a responsibility toward her.
But it wasn’t just duty. He wasn’t going to make that choice because he felt guilty, or responsible, or because it was the right thing to do. He was going to make that choice because he thought they could make it work. He knew her, and she knew him. She had awakened feelings in him he thought would stay asleep for the rest of his days, she had made him believe that even he could have a chance at happiness. She didn’t look at him like he was a lost cause, or a devil, or broken beyond repair, she looked at him like there was something beautiful in him only her eyes saw. And if those eyes had found even a fragment of something worth saving, that meant that he wasn’t utterly unredeemable, that there was still an amount of good, no matter how small, that had survived the bad.
As soon as he walked into his room, he opened the drawer of his bedside table. The small velvet box was sitting there, next to the gun he had carefully kept hidden since his arrival. He knew what he had to do.
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The weather had turned grey. The afternoon sun had been covered by dark clouds, and the air already smelled like rain. Nina had rushed out to take the laundry inside, hoping the storm that was approaching wouldn’t cause the efforts of a whole morning to go to waste. When she had finally come out of hiding - hiding was definitely the right word - she had quite literally ran into Tommy, almost knocking him over in the process, before scurrying away like a thief. And now there she was, still deeply embarrassed by her graceless flight, hurriedly putting the clean bedsheets in a basket.
She had been openly ignoring him all day. Or rather, avoiding him. She hadn’t shown up for breakfast, nor lunch, and she sought refuge in the closest room every time she heard him approaching. She wasn’t proud of that childish reaction, but she genuinely didn’t know how to act. The intensity of her feelings scared her. She was afraid that they would get in the way when the time to push him away came, that she’d yield to him again the moment her gaze met his.
“I’ve been looking for you.”
That deep voice made her hasty movements come to a stop. Her heart raced in her chest as she heard Tommy’s steps coming closer, until he was mere inches away from her.
“Here I am,” she mumbled, not sparing him a glance as she resumed folding the laundry in the basket.
“We need to talk.”
“Be quick, they can’t see us.”
Those words burned on her tongue as she spat them out. It hurt her to treat him like that, when what she actually wanted was to have him close to her again. But did she have any other choice? Indulging in those feelings had only caused trouble. She had to let him forget about her just like she needed to forget about him.
Tommy didn’t seem fazed by her hostility. He put a hand on her shoulder, gently guiding her to turn around. The contact roused the memory of his warm fingers trailing over her skin, and a shiver ran down her spine. His eyes searched her face, and there was a tenderness in them, a fondness that left her completely disarmed.
A lightning split the sky, followed by a crack of thunder, and the first drops of rain began to fall, bringing Nina back to reality.
“There’s not much to talk about,” she blurted out, abruptly taking a step back. “What happened yesterday can’t happen again.”
Tommy’s eyebrows knitted as she hastened to collect the rest of the laundry. He reached out to her, but she swiftly escaped his grasp, taking another sheet off the line. “Nina…” he tried again, but the more he got close, the more she slipped away from him. He rubbed his eyes, inhaling deeply. His patience was wearing thin at that point. He clenched his jaw, willing to make one last attempt to get her attention nicely. “Nina.”
Still nothing.
Fed up with that behaviour, he testily collected the rest of the laundry himself and threw it in a mess in the basket under her astonished stare. “Will you listen to me now?”
Surprisingly, there was no anger in his expression, nor annoyance, but there was still a hint of sternness that made her eventually give in. She crossed her arms over her chest, waiting for him to speak.
Tommy shifted his weight from one foot to the other, Nina’s piercing gaze feeling like a knife cutting through him, unraveling and exposing the deepest parts of him. “What happened last night…” he trailed off, realising there were so many things he wanted to tell her that he didn’t even know where to start. “I overstepped, we-”
“We made a mistake,” Nina finished his sentence for him, trying to keep her voice steady despite the lump in her throat. “I made a mistake.”
She shouldn’t have opened up to him. She shouldn’t have gone to his room. She shouldn’t have kissed him. She shouldn’t have led him on when she knew nothing could ever happen between them. Tears sprang to her eyes, but she blinked them away, she didn’t want to let him see how much she was hurting herself as well, for she could sense that if he got even a glimpse of her real feelings for him, he wouldn’t give up. A futile attempt.
Tommy’s gaze softened at the sight. “Hey,” he whispered, delicately squeezing her arm. “Look at me.”
She didn’t. She couldn’t bear that look full of affection. It almost caused her to break down. The drizzle was intensifying, and she could only hope that if her tears betrayed her, he’d mistook them for raindrops.
He grabbed her chin between his thumb and forefinger, tilting her face up to look at him. “We can make it right,” he said reassuringly.
“What do you mean?” she frowned.
Tommy hesitated for a moment, a nervousness equivalent to the one he had felt the previous night awakening in him. His hands started to shake, his heart to hammer in his chest. That was a point of no return which would either seal or break the bond that had formed so naturally between them. A bond he dreaded to lose. A bond he’d never have with anyone else.
Nina’s eyes widened as he took a velvet box out of his pocket, the realisation of what he was about to do crashing down on her.
“No,” she quickly took his hands in hers, keeping him from opening the box. “No,” she repeated, more softly.
“I know it’s a jump in the void,” he said, his hand going to cradle the nape of her neck. “I know. But we can make it work. You and me.”
“Tommy…” she shook her head. He was making it so difficult.
“I want you by my side. I don’t want a wife, I want a partner. Nina, I…” he paused, words getting caught in his throat. “I care about you.”
She squeezed her eyelids shut, pain spreading through her whole being at his revelation. She wanted to bring him close, to feel the warmth of his body against hers, to let herself be enveloped by the sense of safety his strong arms brought. Instead, she forced herself to pull his hand away from her, her fingers briefly tightening around it before letting it go.
“I don’t.”
Tommy looked at her as if she had just stabbed him. Hurt flashed across his face, causing a pang of guilt to hit her in the stomach. God, she felt like she could throw up.
“You’re lying,” he accused her in a hoarse voice.
“I’m not.”
“Liar.”
“Stop it.”
Why couldn’t he just leave? Why was he forcing her to inflict all that pain on him? Tommy was the last person she ever wanted to hurt, and in doing so she was hurting herself twice. By being the cause of his sorrow and by giving him up.
His body stiffened, and the heartbreak in his features disappeared to leave space for the coldness he constantly shielded himself with. “Say it. Say you feel nothing for me.” It sounded like an order, but Nina didn’t miss the crack in his voice. “Say it’s all in my head.”
Her mouth went dry, but she didn’t avert her gaze this time. “It’s all in your head.”
She felt empty. That one last lie had taken all the energy out of her, and left her with a feeling of numbness that made her lose all sense of herself.
Tommy nodded to himself, taking a step back. He wasn’t looking at her anymore. “You’re right. This was a mistake.”
With another clap of thunder, the sky broke open and the rain came pouring down. Nina rubbed her own arms in a soothing motion, watching as the lightning spread in the distance, drawing lines of light that flared and vanished into the grey above.
“You should go, Mr Shelby,” she murmured.
A muscle twitched in Tommy’s jaw, and for an instant he looked on the verge of saying something. Then he stormed off.
Nina let out a shaky breath, and the tears she had held back suddenly began to stream down her face. She covered her mouth to stifle a sob, the ache in her chest threatening to tear her apart from the inside. She shut her eyes tight, unable to watch his frame getting smaller and smaller as he walked away from her.
When she brought herself to look in his direction again, he was knocking on Agnese’s door.
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NEXT CHAPTER
Heart, Body and Sould tag list
@zablife @queenofshinigamis @raincoffeeandfandoms / @justrainandcoffee @call-sign-shark
@kmc1989 @babayaga67 @kmhappybunny240 @diorrfairy @mariaelizabeth21-blog1
@gaslysainz @brummiereader @loverhymeswith @fairypitou @prettywhenicry4
@mysticalbouquetwolf-posts @woofgocows @girlwith-thepearlearring @goblinjnr @outlanderuniverse
@citylights31 @neonpurplestars89-blog @outlanderuniverse @red-riding-wood @evita-shelby
@look-at-the-soul @gathania93 @wonderlanddreamer
General tag list: @iamngoclinh08 @lilywinchesterlove @fandom-puff @capitanostella @caelys
@lucillethings @peakyxtommy @queenofkings1212 @lyarr24 @kmc1989
@call-sign-shark @jomarch-wannabe @ce1iat @red-riding-wood @optimisticsandwichgladiator
Tommy Shelby tag list: @50svibes
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raayllum · 3 days ago
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hi!! just want to say that I love your blog, and I wanted to ask what you thought about Indian!rayla/moonshadow elves? as an Indian myself I feel like it makes alot of sense within canon (different skin tones/focus on honour and duty/skin painting/raylas banishment - I'll probably make a Meta post about this one I start my own tdp sideblog)
First off, thank you for the kind words and for sharing your thoughts! I always love hearing new thoughts, esp on potential different cultural influences in TDP.
I think there's a lot of cultural influences in the Silvergrove, but I definitely agree as a whole that they lean collectivist (and by extension, often times more 'non-white' leaning). I can see aspects of Irish culture, I think (emphasis on wit and family) as well as Scottish (more collectivist leaning, as far as I know) all of which can overlap with other cultures and ideas as well. For example (and this was like 4+ years ago so it is accordingly buried in my tags) I've had anons share how much Silvergrove culture reminds them of Japanese culture (ask 1, ask 2) specifically because of concepts like 'saving face,' which can also overlap with other Asian cultural values as well (i.e. similar concepts exist in Chinese and Filipino culture, off the top of my head). I know Moonshadow markings have been directly compared to Henna by the cast & crew on more than one occasion, and even the cultural emphasis on dancing feels like something that might click
All of this to say is that if it resonates with you (or hell even if you just like it), go wild for it! I'd be interested in reading the meta and can already picture how cool the fanart could be
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uselessmoonlight · 2 days ago
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Stranger part 12
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Reader is Telemachus' friend, and when he leaves for his "diplomatic mission" he asks her to watch over his mother.
Later, once the king has returned, she stumbles upon an injured Poseidon.
Previous / series masterlist / character sheet / next
☆☆☆
Content specs: she/her pronouns used, afab reader, Platonic! Telemachus x reader, Epic!Poseidon x reader, possible OOC!Poseidon, Polites’ daughter! Reader, unrequited love, blood, fighting, nudity, illusion, possibly more?, trying to avoid using y/n, slowburn, suggestive themes, English is not my first language, sorry if it's too much exposition, it's my first fic.
Ónoma literally means name in Greek, at least according to google translate. View this as the y/n of this fic.
☆☆☆
“Are you done yet?” Perikles asked, less than amused. Ónoma had been laughing at him for the past, what? 15 minutes? It was way shorter than that, but it felt like ages for the God.
“No, not yet.” It was her turn to tease him. Her laughter would’ve died long ago, but the fact that it bothered him so much kept her going. “Alright, fine, I’m done. Now let’s get you wrapped up, huh?”
She’d added honey to one of her mother’s old ointment recipes to stop his healing wounds from getting infected. She’d left the wounds unwrapped to dry up and form scabs, but it also left them vulnerable. She was going to need new bandages soon.
“You know, I never did find out what caused your wounds.” Peach murmured.
“You never asked, but do you really want to do so now? An answer for an answer, remember?”
“We made that deal an hour ago, of course I remember.” She replied, dumbfounded. What kind of questions did this guy have for her? How bad could they truly be? “Tell me, Perikles, what caused those wounds?” She asked, somewhat smug about finally getting answers.
“My very own trident, wielded by a man who wounded someone I love. I searched for him for 10 years, and when I finally found him, I lost.” All initial smugness was lost on Ónoma, she’d not expected such a raw, honest answer from the man.
“What? Didn’t expect me to answer? A deal is a deal, I’m a man of honour.”
“Making sexual advances on an underage girl? Very honourable.” She remarked sarcastically.
“You’re underage?” The man asked, eyebrow raised.
“Is that the question you want to ask?” She echoed his earlier sentiments. He gave a nod. “Only for another week.” She mumbled.
“What difference does one week make?”
“Was that a rhetorical question, or do you want to get philosophical?” She countered.
☆☆☆
At the end of the day, she was able to retreat to her own space, sure, the cement and stuff hadn’t fully dried yet, but as long as she didn’t touch the walls, it’d be fine. Telemachus had even gone as far as to have a bed placed in the room already. Gods bless him.
The rest of the day had gone by with a lot less serious questions and some really nice dinner. The fish traps had been a success, she’d even brought the excess into town. Aside from their little spat earlier, it has been a good day, but it was not a good morning.
Before sunrise some of the towns people had come to get her, Ophelia was giving birth, but it was about a month too early. By the time she got there it was a bloodbath. Irene, Agathe and their mother were crying over the state of Ophelia. Ophelia’s husband was screaming at the healers, and all in all it was an outright mess.
First course of action: get the unnecessary people out of the room. Irene was easy to deal with, she understood her sister needed help and that they were in the way. She helped Ónoma get her mother and sister out, while Ónoma had the luck to deal with her brother-in-law. Theodosius was erratic, the only way she was able to get him outside, was by knocking him out.
It took them countless prayers to Eileithyia, and Apollo, to get through the birth, and it took until sunset for them to stabilize the mother and her beautiful baby boy. Ónoma was the one to deliver the news, as she’d been there for the shortest amount of time. The other healers, mainly consisting of elderly women, had pretty much collapsed when they were done, absolutely exhausted.
Irene flung herself into her arms, Agathe was trying to explain the news to, a probably concussed, Theodosius and their mother, Zosime, ran inside to see her daughter and grandchild.
☆☆☆
When Peach got back home, she was once again covered in blood, but this time she was able to take a bath without being afraid of the stranger in her home. Sure, she still didn’t really know the man, but she at least knew him better now.
“Where have you been all day, why are you covered in blood? Again? you know what, I don’t even want to know. I don’t want to know, just barge right on in, in the middle of the night, who cares?” Perikles rambled, but she paid him no mind. “I’ll tell you tomorrow.” Peach called through the closed door.
She had put in clean water yesterday, but she couldn’t be bothered to heat it up right now, she just wanted to be clean. And clean she was, by the time she got out her hands were wrinkled, and her skin was rubbed raw. She looked exhausted when she caught a glimpse in the water’s reflection.
Despite the exhaustion, she was tossing and turning all night. She’d tried to eat a peach before going to bed, but she couldn’t, even though she hadn’t eaten all day. Her head was reeling, what was it with Irene’s sisters and giving her trouble. She didn’t blame Ophelia for the circumstances around the birth of her son, not really, but it was interesting.
When the sun started to rise she decided to just get up, without having slept a wink that night. Sleepless nights were becoming a more common occurrence. When Ónoma went into town to get breakfast, she brought some to the new parents, giving the father a somewhat shitty apology for knocking him out. She offered them her help, should when they need it with a newborn on their hands.
When she entered her house, Perikles was awake, but still in bed. “I was gone because the healers needed my assistance, there was a birth that was a month too early, hence the blood, and the first time I’d been defending the queen from… monsters? They were men, but they very well could have been monsters.” She said in one breath, then continued after taking a deep one. “I think that three? Yeah, three answers you owe me.”
“Well good morning to you too.” He smiled at the girl’s rambling. “Say, do you practice archery too? Oh great Apollo 2.0?”
“You want to make it four? Anticlea used to teach me, but she passed a long time ago. I haven’t been able to learn from anyone since. Besides, I’m not devoted to Apollo, if that’s what you’re implying. Please do not compare me to a God, that usually does not end well.”
“Shame, I’m sure he’d love to have you. The perfect devotee.” She blushed at the implication. “I thought you said you weren’t a healer?”
“Five, I’m not, but I do help out when they need it. My mother taught me, but I’m not fully trained.”
“Why didn’t she finish training you?”
“She’s dead. Six.”
Next.
☆☆☆
Taglist:
@apollos-dodgeball-target
@barrythestrawberry041
@doodle-with-rhy
@isla-finke-blog
@suckerforblondies
@trashcannotbealive
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rheanyraaaa · 2 days ago
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Water Lilly Part 16
Robb Stark x Frey Reader (F)
Enemies To Lovers
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The days in Winterfell were long and quiet, marked by the endless snowfall that seemed to blanket the world in silence. Winter had arrived, but the halls of Winterfell offered warmth, even if it could not fill the emptiness that Robb’s absence left behind.
You busied yourself as much as you could, ensuring the keep ran smoothly despite the bitter cold. You oversaw the stores of food, mended clothing, and helped tend to the growing population of women and children who had sought refuge within the walls. The maester kept a close eye on you as your belly swelled, reminding you often to rest and avoid overworking yourself.
But rest didn’t come easily. Nights were the hardest, when you lay awake in the large, empty bed, thinking of Robb out there on the battlefield. Letters came sporadically short notes from Robb that spoke of battles won and losses endured, but rarely of himself.
One cold morning, the contractions started. You gripped the edges of the bed, your breath coming in sharp gasps as the midwives bustled around you. The pain was unlike anything you’d ever known, but you clung to the thought of Robb, his face etched in your mind like a beacon of strength. Hours passed, and finally, a cry rang out.
“It’s a boy,” the midwife said softly, placing the squirming, pink-cheeked infant in your arms.
Tears streamed down your face as you looked at him, your heart swelling with a love so fierce it was almost overwhelming. His tiny features reminded you of Robb the same blue-grey eyes, the hint of auburn in the wisps of hair on his head.
“Eddard,” you whispered, the name falling from your lips as though it had always been meant for him.
The letter arrived at Robb’s camp two weeks later. He was poring over maps in his tent when one of his men entered, handing him the folded parchment with a respectful bow.
“From Winterfell, my lord,” the man said.
Robb’s heart leapt as he opened it, his eyes scanning the familiar handwriting.
“My dearest Robb, Our son has arrived. He is healthy, strong, and beautiful. I’ve named him Eddard, after your father. I hope it pleases you.”
The letter went on, but Robb couldn’t focus on the rest. He sank into his chair, a smile breaking across his face as he reread the name: Eddard. His heart ached with joy and longing.
“Eddard,” he murmured to himself, the name like a balm to his soul. He thought of his father, of the honour and strength the name carried, and he felt a surge of pride.
The war raged on for another year. Robb’s forces pushed south, claiming victory after victory as the North rallied behind him. The tides turned when they captured a key Lannister stronghold, cutting off supplies to the enemy.
Along the way, they liberated Riverrun, reuniting Robb with his sister Sansa. She was thinner, quieter than he remembered, but her eyes sparkled with determination.
“We’re taking you home,” Robb had said to her, his voice firm.
Sansa’s smile had been small but genuine, her relief evident as she clung to her brother.
They found Arya weeks later, disguised as a boy and half-wild from her time on the run. She had fought them at first, refusing to believe that the man calling her name was her brother, but when Robb had dismounted and pulled her into his arms, her resistance crumbled.
“You came for me,” she’d whispered, her voice thick with disbelief.
“Of course I did,” Robb had replied, holding her tightly. “We’re going home.”
When the war was finally won, Robb rode back to Winterfell with Sansa and Arya by his side, his heart heavy with anticipation. It had been nearly two years since he’d left, and though the victory was sweet, his thoughts were consumed by you and the son he had yet to meet.
The sight of Winterfell’s towering walls filled him with an ache he hadn’t known he carried. As he passed through the gates, the people of the North cheered, their voices echoing off the stone.
Inside the courtyard, you stood waiting, holding Eddard on your hip. The boy squirmed in your arms, his curious eyes wide as he took in the noise and commotion. He was nearly a year old now, sturdy and strong, with auburn curls and the same piercing blue eyes as his father.
When Robb dismounted, his gaze locked on you, and for a moment, it felt as though the rest of the world fell away. He crossed the courtyard in long strides, his expression a mixture of relief and wonder.
“Robb,” you said softly, your voice breaking as tears filled your eyes.
He didn’t speak, his hands trembling slightly as he reached out to touch your face, as if to confirm you were real. Then his gaze shifted to the boy in your arms.
“This is him,” you said, smiling through your tears. “This is Eddard.”
Robb’s breath caught as he looked at his son. Slowly, he reached out, his large hands cradling the boy with a tenderness that surprised even him. Eddard blinked up at him, his little hand reaching out to grab Robb’s beard.
“He looks just like you,” you said, watching the way Robb’s eyes filled with emotion.
Robb smiled, his voice thick as he said, “No, he’s better. He’s… perfect.”
You watched as he kissed the top of Eddard’s head, his shoulders trembling slightly with the weight of everything he felt.
“I’ve missed so much,” he murmured, looking up at you. “But I’m here now. I’m not leaving again.”
You reached out, placing a hand on his cheek. “We’ve been waiting for you,” you said softly.
As Sansa and Arya approached, Eddard let out a happy squeal, his laughter ringing out like a bell. For the first time in years, Winterfell felt whole again.
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tags! (tell me if you want be tagged in the next chapter)
@maysileeewrites @samieree @yeahnohoneybye @nervouschaosgladiator
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thursdaymoonrise11 · 3 days ago
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Hey, Bertie !! <3
I just... I'm just here to praise your work a little and struggle over expressing the feelings it gives me when I look at it. 🥹👉👈
Your art is giving me a fuzzy feeling inside or smth 😭 I'll try to formulate it... I mean, I look at your drawings and it feels so familiar, it's like I always knew them, knew your style and it is soooo great 😭😭 and it looks so so SO soft and whole and your ideas are heartwarming truly... And let's just not talk about your lovely MC, Phoebe 😭 bc I just simply can't 😭 she's literally so adorable & 's among my fav MCs here... <3 everything you post melts me completely... 🥹🫠
...I don't think I can explain it further, just wanted you to know how I appreciate you and your gorgeous work in this fandom ❤️‍🔥💙🩵💙
Much love and biiiig big huggies to you:
—Lucy [an admirer of yours] ★
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OH MY GOSH LUCY THANK YOU!!!!!!!! 🥹🥹🥹🥹 That was the sweetest message ever i literally CHOKED UP and ARGHHHH thank you again I'm so honoured you think that way 🥰🥰
You're so sweet and so supportive so pls take this niffler as a token of my appreciation 🥹 your art always lights up my feed and i'm always ASTOUNDED by how fantastic it is!!! your technical detail is unmatched (and teach me how to do seb's hair pls) okay ILY and you're a gem in this fandom 💖💖
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fatewoven · 3 days ago
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"Don't you do the same?" What are great men if not the culmination of their grief? A dear colleague obsession with storms comes to mind; how he memorized ship wrecks, the pattern of the weather on those days. He told Emmrich about each of them, the ones in Tevinter, farther ones in Antiva, and ships in the south. Even if only the name of the vessel survived, his colleague committed it to memory, history, and spoke of each one with every possible detail; figureheads, masts, the make of the sails. How people go on after wreckage, and how people don't. It took a few more years before Emmrich learned that his brother was a sailor lost at sea. He couldn't help but love the way men loved. The way they grieved. In parallel veins, like rivers running toward the same sea, he's noted Valrys' same habit throughout the moons. Keeping distant and yet sharing in someone's anguish. Not as a participant, but perhaps its more accurate to say he acts as a priest. Someone impartial to alleviate the burden of cumbersome emotions — sorrow so deep one could drown in. A knowledge beget by first-hand experience rather than simple observation.
This soul grieved terribly, hasn't he? So much so it's nothing more than hardened tissue over the heart, calcified from loss. "Certainly being loved by you would be a great honour. I hope, should it happen, I think that the world owes you the opportunity to allow your touch to know ardor, at the very least. Such tender hands have seen immeasurable cruelty in their lifetime, no?"
The embrace lingers. Emmrich holds him tighter, longer. Presses the warmth and empathy from his chest until even a trickle of it is transferred by persistence alone. He cups the back of Valrys' head as if one might do to a child, tucking that larger frame inward to offer a sense of assurance if only for a brief spell. It's an action he's done for countless mourners — something about touch grounds people as it reminds them of the warmth yet in their own souls. "That will be a given after our time together, dearest," he murmurs against the other's temple, each word a soft caress. Silk threads, funeral shrouds. Here, in the shadowed, hallow entrance to the deeper tombs belonging to self-proclaimed god-kings, a pearl tear sheds for a god-killer who's carved out his own heart for the sake of duty. "You walk as if your grave's already prepared. Seek out some joy before you rush toward that destination." He poses it as a favor, this reminder to slow down now and then.
A living ghost doesn't wish to haunt more dead, it wants to haunt the living. How he can not wish to look at Emmrich, who contains enough life for the both of them? Its curious, that the necromancer has taken him here. He is not unaware of his reputation among his companions that when it comes to a sunny demeanor, he is instead the moon. But how can he, Watchman of Night, be anything than that? "You like to surround yourself with sadness?" He asks lightly, curiously, but there's not much weight in the question. If one doesn't consider the name, the meaning, the striking beauty would awe on its own. A voyeur could selfishly enjoy it, their heart undisturbed by suffering. He watches Emmrich look at him, but all eyes only ever reflect off of the collected demeanor, like arrowing bouncing off a suit of armour. He is a shiny reflection of whoever gazes upon him. They see what they want to see, what they need to see. "Well, not loved by me," he reconfirms, and though he doesn't intend for the answer to come out cool, it likely will. What else can an icy heart do but freeze the air around it? "I am sure there are plenty who are loved... though perhaps my judgment doesn't count as definitive since I am not a god, am I?" He muses, and though the words come out with the appropriate tone, nothing to be directly dissected, the hall of mirrors of his eyes gleam with the sharp edges of something deeper, darker on the other side of that elusive eluvian. What is greater than a god? A god-killer. It does not think he shall ever tire of Emmrich's easy affections, these terms that should be reserved for lovers. Beggars have starved for affection like the ones Emmrich offers with such ease. He tilts his head in curious inspection, and when the necromancer lifts his arms, he thinks some display of magic will follow; some mortalitasi specialty. It must be, because he freezes with the absoluteness that he serves his enemies when the other embraces him. For too long a moment he does nothing, until he hears that tremble in the other's voice that mourning arms reciprocate the gesture. Do not stand at my grave and weep. I am not there. I do not sleep. Only a necromancer might hope to resurrect a dead thing, and his heart spasms and chokes with unfamiliar sentiment that it does not know how to do with. He feels an ache, and it hurts, and he wants to be healed of it. Let it be killed again. Emmrich says he would remake the stars for him, write a new story, of him. Would he be satisfied by it? He thinks the gesture would bring him back to alive, if such a thing were possible. "I would be satisfied enough if all you did was remember me fondly, Emmrich," he whispers, though he barely knows if the broken words are ones he even says out loud, or if only thinks them to himself. He doesn't realize how near to bruising he holds the other, bones to bones, like the statue of the skeletal pair, who embrace, as if bodies made one.
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mardyart · 1 year ago
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pre red carpet routines
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dangergggg · 4 months ago
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A lawyer and his daughter.
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