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pcyheartgirlx · 7 years ago

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In The Bleak Midwinter [CH12]

Genre ;; Angst/Smut/Fluff/Romance

Pairing ;; Chanyeol x Reader x Seokjin

Word Count ;; 9.8k

Summary ;; “We’re all whores, we just sell different parts of ourselves.”

You own a multi-billion dollar company, servicing the biggest names in kpop, in more ways than one. Under the name “Starlight Catering”, you, your best friends, Damon and Maya, and your hundreds of workers provide stress relief for idols.

You have partially retired, not because you didn’t want to, but because Chanyeol was your muse. He was all that you had time for and all you needed. Until Jin came along.

So what happens when you mix fire and ice?

You get smoke and all the lines are blurred.

A/N ;; This is such an angsty chapter. I really loved writing it. Warning though. There isn’t any smut because I just wanted to make this more about (Y/N)’s feelings BUT both boys are in this chap so at least there’s that. :) Anyway, enjoy <3

[PLAYLIST] [BACKSTORY] [PROLOGUE] [CH1] [CH2] [CH3] [CH4] [CH5] [CH6] [CH7] [CH8] [CH9] [CH10] [CH11] [CH12] [CH13]

“Um...what?” After hearing his words, that was all you could utter. Of course you heard him. But honestly, what could you have said?

It was like everything slowed down. That sentence slightly deafening you, almost not able to hear your own thoughts. You were expecting a lot tonight. Maybe a few words dripping in anger being tossed back and forth. Walking out with the feeling of an uncontrollable sob itching at the back of your throat. What you weren’t expecting, was for him to actually fuck you and what you sure didn’t want, was him telling you he loved you.

It never ended well for guys who said that to you.

“I love you, I really do,” That’s number two. He’s on a roll and he needs to slow down. “I know you’re going to tell me I can’t and that I shouldn’t but I do. And before you tell me no, because I can see it your eyes....,” Usually, you were really good at hiding at your emotions. But as always, Jin prevented you from doing that. He saw right through you and the gaze of disapproval that slowly played across your face. “Just...I know we can make this work. And I can prove it. I need time though.” And there it was again. The nagging feeling that always pushed it’s way through your mind. Run, it screamed. Don’t look back. That’s what you were good at. But you couldn’t do that to Jin. Taking his hand into yours and intertwining your fingers together, you shot him a half smile before you spoke

“Jin...You know I can’t let you do that,” he cut you off though. You knew before you even said that he wasn’t going to take it very well.

“I’m a grown man. I don’t need your permission. Plus deep down, I know what you want,” He brought your hands up to his lips and kissed at your fingers, leaving you on edge. “You want a normal life. That’s all you've ever wanted. And I promise you, doesn’t matter what it takes, I’m going to give that to you. Because you fucking deserve it.”

Promise.

You hated them. Hated that word. Especially coming from a man. You’ve been promised everything. The world, even. But everything you had, you had to get it yourself. And the things you didn’t get for youself, you still had to work for in a sense so that it was a goal achievable in the end. But this, this is something you were never promised. A normal life. But what was normal to Jin? What was normal to you? A foreign concept that you never envisioned yourself really having.

“A normal life?” You repeated.

“Yes, Jagi. A normal life. Where you don’t have to worry about going to jail or someone killing you. You can stop carrying a knife in your purse. You probably think I forgot about that too, but I didn’t,” You looked down at the point where your naked bodies met. Admiring how his skin looked against yours. All you wanted was your hands through his whole body and hush his worrying mind. But he continued. “Really think about it. You can laugh more, smile often. Sleep through the night.”

“Surely you know that it’s not that simple,” You shifted closer to him so you could wrap your arms around his shoulders. “And it’s not something that can just be obtained.” He smiled at you, causing you to melt into him. You leaned your forehead against his and fixated on his eyes.

“I know, jagiya. That’s why I need some time. So for now, I’ll bite my tongue. I’ll settle for having you part time and I’ll allow him to think he has you completely at his grasp,” Jin snaked his arms around your waist bring you close enough so he could kiss the tip of you nose before he continued. “But I have faith in you. I know you’re a brilliant woman and you know what’s right for you.”

But did you?

Somehow, you got yourself into this situation. Falling for two men and not knowing which one you loved more, because they were both different. They sang different songs to your heart. It was like there was two sides to your heart. Jin clutched on to one while Chanyeol pulled against the other man’s grasp. These thought occupied your mind and you couldn’t get a word out. It was a pattern around Jin though. He’s probably used to it. There wasn’t a time you could remember where Jin didn’t leave you breathless.

“I feel like you a jerk,” you managed to say. “I don’t what to say and no one has ever...said anything like that to me. No one has ever even put me and normal in the same category,” Your heart was taking over and not allowing anything logical to come out. You caught yourself before you could say anything else.

“I know, jagi.”

“But these are just mere words. Words with meaning, don’t get me wrong. But we can talk about a fantasy world where I get to really press the reset button and live like--”

“But this isn’t a fantasy, (Y/N). It’s…” he stopped himself and he rubbed your back softly, looked up at you as you denounced everything he was telling you. His face stayed calm, even though you saw his eyebrows furrow at your protests. It wasn’t anger but frustration. Still he refused to let you see it. Jin was better at that than you right now. “You don’t have to know anything right now. But when I get everything together and I will,” he brought a finger up to your chest and poked you to put emphasis on the last words that came out of his mouth. “You’ll know.”

“What exactly will I know?” You questioned. He just smiled, looking down at your whole body before he met your gaze again.

“That you love me too,” the simplicity in his tone surprised you a bit. Like he was so sure. But why shouldn’t he be? It’s not like you ever showed him anything but affection and adoration. And maybe he’s wrong. Maybe…

“How do you know I don’t love you as of right now? That I don’t feel the same way about you?” What are you doing, (Y/N)? You thought to yourself. This was the last thing that you should be saying. Not that it wasn’t true. It was just that leading Jin into thinking you could possibly have a beautiful life with him was just fucking wrong. But somehow, though, the last thing you should be saying was always the first thing that came out of your mouth.

“Because you don’t,” he bit his lip as the simplicity left. “As long as Chanyeol is in the picture, your heart will never fully be mine,” as he said this, he brought a hand up to your chest and cupped the spot where your heart was. Giving you slight dejavu, you bit the inside of your cheek. “As I said before, I’m willing to do what it takes to keep you. Even if I have to share. But once I figure it all out, that’s when I’ll know if you love me or not.”

“But Jin, I do lov--” He hushed you and brought a finger up to your lips. A small chuckle escaped his lips when he saw the shocked expression on your face.

“Shhhh, I don’t want to hear you say it just yet,” he licked his lips and ran his thumb over yours. “The moment these pretty lips say those words to me, I want to be sure they’re real. I want you to be sure they’re real. Just as I am saying it to you now,” The way his hands cupped the sides of your face made you feel undone, like a ball of yarn raveling in his palms. “I love you, (Y/N).”

Jin guided your face towards his and your lips met in a passionate kiss, sending your hands up his torso and stopping as you clung to his shoulders. There was no where else you wanted to be. For the first time in a long time, the sense of serenity banished away any thoughts of negativity. Whatever you thought was pure bliss, true tranquility, was fleeting in this moment. It almost pained you when he pulled away. You couldn’t help but pout a bit. As he laughed at how cute he thought you were, you noticed that the pressure of your body was taking a toll on your legs folded underneath you on the chair.

“Can we cuddle now?”

X-x-x

“You have to pick!” he screeched as dropped his arm down on the bed. He was being ridiculous, you thought to yourself. Rolling over so you were now laying your head on his chest, you slinked your arm around his waist.

“I can’t! I refuse! Pass,” you replied as you snuggled your face into his chest. Not allowing you to avoid his question, he put a finger under your chin to bring your face to his view.

“You can’t pass.”

“Why not?”

“Because the world will explode if you don’t pick!” his face was serious and his eyes widened. You raised an eyebrow at his statement.

“The world...will explode if I don’t pick…” you took his hand from your chin and fiddled with his fingers. “That’s illogical.”

“In Seokjiniverse, there are rules,” he narrowed his gaze at you and you ran your nails up and down his palm.

“I don’t think I want to live in Seokjiniverse.”

“Why not?!” You clicked your tongue at him and interlaced your fingers with his.

“Because the world’s going to explode based on my preference on seaweed,” you said sarcastically. He scoffed at you and ran his free hand through the hair that rested on your shoulder.

“...It’s a legitament question, (Y/N),” Even though you were laughing, he looked at you completely stoic. “Soup or salad?” Figuring you weren’t going to get out of this, you decided to pick, loving the way he combed through your hair, his fingers slightly grazing your back in the process.

“Fine. I pick soup.”

“Yah! That’s the correct answer!” You shot him a look of perplexity as you pushed yourself up, leaning on your elbows as you laid on your stomach next to him.

“Would the world have blown up if I said salad?” you mirrored the same seriousness he gave you before, making him smile cutely.

“No, but I would have,” he said as a matter of factually as he turned his head to the side. Not sure why he found it so funny, you watched him as he began to laugh. Kim Seokjin had the most contagious laugh in the world, and you got caught up in it as you started to laugh too. You never noticed how similar your laughs were. The way you both squeaked as you gasped for air in between laughs. It was almost like you were harmonizing with each other, using pure happiness. The laughter died down quickly as you hear someone banging on the door.

“Do you know how annoying it is to hear you both laugh like that?! Especially for that last 3 hours!?” Namjoon’s voice boomed through the room as he yelled behind the door. You looked at Jin, waiting for another one of his snarky remarks.

“I’m sorry, Namjoon-ah! I didn’t know you were sleeping!” Jin called out apologetically, taking you by surprise.

“How do you not know!? Have you looked at the time!? Keep it down!”

“Alright! No problem! Goodnight!” All that you both heard was Namjoon grumbling as he walked away.

“You’re being awfully nice to him today,” you chuckled as you brought your focus back to him. He brought his hand to your bicep and rubbed you up and down. You felt your arm shake, not because you were still leaning on your elbows but because his touch drove you wild.

“He’s in a bad mood. He came back from the doctor today and they told him he needed surgery on his nose. He’s not too happy about that,” he explained. Your eyes widened with worry.

“Is he going to be okay?”

“Oh yea. Baby don’t worry. It’s just a minor procedure. But he’s been having trouble sleeping because of it. I’m just glad he’s finally doing something about it,” His voice was laced with a bit of relief. You shook your head and sighed. Feeling somewhat better about this situation, you admired how Jin always tried to take a bad situation and find the positives in it. It was another endearing quality of his that you started to fall in love with.

“What time is it anyway?” you mumbled to yourself as you reached for your phone on his nightstand. “Yikes, it’s almost 4am...I should probably get home, tesoro.” He sighed heavily and ran your hand down your back.

“Alright, let me get my coat on.”

“Why?” you snapped at him as you got up.

“Because I’m taking you?” He said this almost as if it was something that was painfully obvious. Jin knew damn well you thought this was a bad idea.

“No, just because you took me last time--”

“Jagi, don’t worry. I already have the keys!” He reached inside a drawer on the nightstand you were standing in front of and pulled out the car keys. You shook your head at him as you looked down at his smiling face.

“I told you last time it wasn’t a good idea. I’ll just call Damon,” As you pulled your phone to your face, Jin grabbed it out of your hand and jolted up out of his bed, running toward his closet.

“Give it back!” you whispered, trying not to scream. He just giggled at you as you ran over to him.

“No! Look!” he pulled his coat out of his closet. “I’m almost ready and you’re still standing there in my shirt and boxers.” You looked down and crossed your arms, sighing in frustration.

“Jin, you’re really pushing it,” you began to strip his shirt off, leaving you topless as you walked around his room looking for your dress. From the corner of your eye, you noticed that he was staring intently at you, biting his lip as his eyes glued to your breast.

“And you’re pulling,” he said as he picked up your dress and threw it at you. You tisked at him as it draped over your head. “So stop it and let me love you.” The smile he shot at you warmed your heart, causing you to do what you always did.

“Fine, I give in. I’ll stop pulling,” you said as you pulled your dress over your body. Tugging it so it so it fit correctly. “But just know that I’m only pulling because I’m looking out for you.” He laughed and shook his head, making his way over to you.

“Let’s go, Jagi. It’s getting late,” he said, kissing your head as he put his coat on.

X-x-x

“The drive here seemed faster this time than last time,” Jin pouted and slumped in the driver’s seat as he stopped the car. You looked over at him and put your hand on his knee.

“It’s because I noticed that when you’re having fun, you drive faster,” you giggled. He just shook his hand and lightly slammed his hand on the steering wheel.

“One day, you’re not going to have to leave. We can hold each other and laugh ourselves to sleep,” he sighed as he took your hand. “Doesn’t that sound nice?”

“It does, tesoro. It sounds...perfect,” you bit your lip, finally bringing yourself to ask a question that had been plaguing you all night. You called his name out and he looked at you with a grin and nodded.

“Why do you love me?” The bluntness of your question caused him to frown momentarily. Jin shifted in his seat, turning his body around to face you. He ran his hand down your cheek while his other hand never left yours.

“Well, (Y/N),” he cleared his throat and prepared himself. You could tell he was feeling vulnerable and it wasn’t that he didn’t want to tell you. There was a small hint of fear. He slouched at bit at your question before continuing. “When you smile, my stomach feels like it’s going to drop. You laugh at all my jokes, listen to me whine and complain. You look at me like I’m...like I’m Seokjin and not Jin of BTS,” He was shifting again. Talking about his emotions abruptly never phased him before. You weren’t sure why it was hard for him to outright say it now, but you tried to keep the sweetest deposition, so he felt comfortable. “You like the things I like, the way you think is fascinating. And when we kiss, I can feel it in my soul. Sometimes, your laugh gets stuck in my head because truthfully, it’s my favorite song,” he smiled as you began to chuckle at his words shyly. “You see, you’re beautiful. And intelligent. Funny. Compassionate. Just an all around amazing woman. Someone anyone would be lucky to even know.” He stopped himself and swallowed hard. Not knowing what else to say and anticipating your response. But it was clearly obvious.

His response took you off guard. How did he see those things in you? Never in a million years would you be able to describe yourself the way he did. No matter how hard you tried to change his impression of you, he never did. He did truly love you. It scared you more than you ever felt before. And Jin had a habit of doing that. Such an ethereal person, and you were terrified at what he was capable of.

“It feels weird...hearing you say those things and sounding like you actually believe it,” you let out an airy laugh, and he shook his head.

“Get used to it, jagi,” he leaned in and cupped your face with his hand. “Because I’ll be saying them to you for a long time if you allow me.”

Those soft plush lips brushed against your own in a still fashion. This wasn’t a regular kiss. It was one that stopped time. The earth ceased to move. You and Jin were frozen in this moment together. You felt tranquility again. The kind that only Jin brought you, or so you realized in that moment. Maybe it was that moment when you truly felt it. Finally, you let your mental guard down and the words rang in your head as soft as his lips felt on yours.

I’m falling for him. I’m falling in love with Seokjin.

You let out a small whimper as he pulled away, brushing the hair out of your face as he smiled.

“I’ll see you later, tesoro,” you breathed as you gathered yourself together. He nodded, looking at you with the most adoring eyes.

“Text me tomorrow, okay?” You nodded as you gave him a quick peck and walked out of the car. As you turned and started walking, you heard his car window pull down and his name escaping your lips. You shifted your body around and looked at him with a smile on your face.

“I love you,” he said confidently. You knew you couldn’t say it back so you did the next best thing. Bringing your hand to your mouth, you blew him a kiss, extending your arm out widely in his direction. He shook his head and bit his lip at you. Sending you a flying kiss right back before he started the car and drove away. Watching him drive off, you sighed to yourself. You were on cloud 9 and no one was going to bring you down.

He loves me, you thought to yourself as you walked into the hall. Jin’s voice played over and over in your mind. The way he said I love you, that was your favorite song. You understood why he said it now. It was like everything made sense...well not exactly.

As you reached your door, you heard voices coming from inside your apartment. Grinning to yourself, you were excited to see Maya and Damon after a long day without them. There was so much you still needed to tell them and you were hoping they would stay up and bullshit with you. As you walked in, the voices stopped as if your presence hushed them.

“Oh come one guys, are you talking about me?” You laughed as you made your way into the living room. Except it wasn’t Maya or Damon that were there. It was 2 older ladies, one with a windex bottle and towel in her hand and the other one clutching onto a mop. They looked at you sweetly as they started to stand next to each other, bowing as you walked into the room. To say the least, you were shocked and confused out of your fucking mind.

“Um...who are you?” you asked quizzically, ready to stuff your hand into your purse to grab your knife.

“Ms. (Y/N)! It’s a pleasure to meet you. Chanyeol-ssi told us so many great things about you before we got here!” one of the women gushed. You leaned your head in as you mentally replayed what she said.

“Chanyeol-ssi?”

“Oh yes!” The other woman started. “Didn’t he tell you we were here? We came right before your grocery delivery?”

“G-grocery delivery?” you echoed as you walked over to the connected kitchen, opening the fridge.

“Well, yes. It was quite a lot. It’s good to see young people eating so well!” you heard the woman say as you examined the full contents of the fridge. It was all of your favorite fruits, juices, snacks, meats, anything you could think of to last you the rest of the month. Scratching your head, you walked over to the ladies again.

“It’s rather late for you two to be here, isn’t it?” you questioned. The woman with the broom dug into her pocket, pulling out a paper.

“I agree! But Chanyeol-ssi said we had to get this house clean before the new furniture arrived. He said you would probably be sleeping and your roommates as well since you work nights. You poor dears,” she empathized as she handed you the receipt for your new living room set. Every word that came out of these ladies’ mouth confused you more than the next.

“He...he said that?”

“Yes m’am!” The woman chimed. She looked over to her coworker and back at you. “I’m surprised he didn’t tell you. Maybe you should call him, dear.”

“Yes, yes. Call him and get yourself into bed. Don’t worry about anything for now. I know how stressed you must be,” her eyes shifted as she looked around and began to whisper. “I think he’s rather fond of you.” You shot her a fake smile but she didn’t notice the connotation in it. Offering them privilege to the juices in the fridge they thanked you before they went back to their work and you stomping off into your room.

You didn’t even scroll through your contacts. Dialing his number, you brought the phone up to your ear and tapped your foot as it rang in your ear.

“Yo...Yoboseyo?” he husked sleepily into the phone.

“CHANYEOL WHAT THE FUCK?”

“(Y/N),” he groaned into the phone. “Baby, please don’t scream. I’m trying to sleep. What happened?”

“Oh no. Don’t baby me, you don’t get to baby me!” your voice went up an octave as you spoke rapidly into the phone. “You send groceries to my apartment?! Why are there cleaning people in my house?!”

“Because I sent them there?” he replied sarcastically.

“Okay but why?” You said as you started pacing back and forth.

“Mmmm I’ll tell you that later.”

“Oh no you certainly will not. Chanyeol, you better start expla--”

“Are you busy tomorrow?”

“You’re not changing the subject!” you scolded at him. You heard him growl in frustration.

“Will you stop being impatient for like a second, baby? Please?” he pleaded with you.

“How am I being impatient!?”

“There are just things that are better left said in person, and this is one of them,” you heard him shifting under the covers before speaking again. “Plus I’m really tired and I have to be up soon.” Rubbing your temples thinking about how many different ways you wanted to hurt Chanyeol, you sighed heavily and dropped your arm to your side.

“Fine. But it’s the first thing we are talking about when I walk in!”

“No problem. I got it covered. And when you come, wear something comfortable.” You started kicking off your heels and looked down at your dress. Not understanding why he would say that, you questioned him.

“I don’t get it. I am comfortable in my dresses.”

“Oh, baby you know what I mean,” you were silent because you didn’t know what he meant. He sighed and laughed. “Wear some sweats and put your hair in a bun. Oh and don’t wear make up.”

“Okay, now you’re asking for too much. I’m not leaving this house without any make up on--”

“You act like I haven’t seen you without make up, I mean honestly.”

“Yes, but the rest of the guys…” your voiced trailed off for a second as you pulled your dress off.

“They’ve seen you without make up on too,” he answered getting heavily annoyed.

“Fuck! My bra!” you screamed as you realized that you weren’t wearing it. I must of left it at Jin’s room, fuck!

“What about your bra?” Chanyeol asked. You shook the thought out of your head, reminding yourself that you’re still mad at him.

“It broke. The wire came out. Anyway, no. The last time they saw me with no make up, Kyungsoo screamed then laughed at my face,”

“But you know he was just being an ass. That’s his character.”

“And then Baekhyun almost called an ambulance because he thought I was sick!”

“Well, he meant well.”

“Chanyeol!”

“Yes, baby?”

“Ugh!” You groaned as he laughed at your frustration. You opened your drawer and started digging for a shirt to wear. “Fine! And I’m only doing it because I’m being mature and picking my battles.”

“You’re so dramatic sometimes, I swear.”

“I don’t want to hear you, of all people, accusing others of being dramatic,” you spat as you put your arm at your side.

“Whatever you say baby,” he said in defeat. “Can I go back to sleep? It’s late.”

“Alright fine.”

“I love you.”

A jolt shot through your stomach. It was just moments ago that Jin said those same words to you. And you believed him. Replayed them in your head on a loop. But when Chanyeol said it...it burned into you. Your heart was set aflame and you just wanted to let him engulf you in the fiery passion that only Chanyeol knew how to give you. You smiled to yourself and bit your lip.

“I love you too, baby.”

“Hmmmm, goodnight princess. I’ll see you tomorrow.” As he hung up you pulled the shirt over you head and climbed into bed. It wasn’t until now that you let the guilt eat away at you. As you laid in bed alone, you thought about both of them saying it to you. Continuously. It broke your heart. At the end of the day, you can’t have your cake and eat it to.

In the end, you’re going to have to break their hearts.

X-x-x

When your eyes shot open, you stretched and groaned loudly. Usually, the first thing on your mind is the man you slept with the night before. But today, the only thing you could think about was greater than any dick that could give it to you good.

Food.

As much as you wanted to lay in bed for another hour and not do anything, you pushed yourself up, scratched your head and rolled out of bed. Grabbing your phone, you made your way to the kitchen. The first thing you noticed as you walked in was the beautiful smell of a clean home and vanilla candles burning in the air. Your eyes traveled over to your living room and a smile danced across your face when you saw the new living room set. The couches looked divine, beautifully white and the cushions fluffed up welcoming you and pleading to be sat on.

Food first.

You looked over to the marble island to see a few styrofoam boxes laid out in front of you. Casually, you walked over and sniffed the aroma emitting off them. Wait a minute, you thought to yourself. This smells awfully...familiar. You pulled back the covers and started squealing happily. It was a breakfast you hadn’t had in a long time. Los Tres Golpes was the breakfast of champions. A Dominican dish you always had at home on your way over to school. It consisted of salty fried cheese, eggs, fried salami and mangu. Everytime you spoke to Chanyeol about going to America, you insisted he try it. You even gave him the name of the bodega that sold it to you every morning. The fact that he actually retained the information, it almost made your eyes water. Not only because of how sweet the gesture was, but because it’s been a long time since you had it.

Tapping on the screen of your phone so you could text Chanyeol, you noticed you already had a text from him. When you opened it, you couldn’t stop smiling from ear to ear.

Chanyeol:

Good morning baby. It’s probably well past noon actually but I know you’re just waking up. I hope you slept better than I did. Kekekeke. Anyway, breakfast is on me today. Just because I know the suspense of tonight is killing you. Share some with Maya and Damon. And try to have a good day. I’ll be away from my phone because of my schedule but I’ll see you later tonight. I love you.

Excitement over took you as you started scrolling through your contacts, looking for Damon’s name. As you leaned the phone against your shoulder, you started taking 3 plates out of the cupboard on top of the sink.

“Starlight Catering, this is Damon.”

“Bitch! Come out here right now and bring Maya. Chanyeol got us breakfast and you’re not going to believe what it is.”

“Breakfast? It’s 1 o’clock.”

“Okay, your point?”

“Hey biiiiiitch!” you heard Maya scream in the background.

“Oh you guys slept together? I don’t even hear you,” you said puzzled as you put the plates down.

“Oh sweetie, we’re not home.”

“Where did you guys go?”

“We’re going shopping and then we’re going to the spa!” You heard Maya squeal in the background. Damon scoffed at her over excitement.

“Oh,” you said a little disappointingly, wanting to spend time with them. In the same thought, you were happy they were spending some time together and doing something cathartic. They definitely deserved it with how hard they've been working. “Well I’ll try to save you some for when you guys get out of the spa.”

“Oh no, (Y/N). You don’t have to. We’re going to get some drinks afterward. Probably going to get some dinner too.” Damon stated,

“Aw you guys are going to be gone all day!” you whined as you plopped back on your seat, fiddling with the fried cheese in the styrofoam container using some chopsticks.

“Well, we can do something cute when we get home! Let’s watch a movie after we finish some paperwork!” Maya doted, you just shook your head and collapsed on the marble island.

“I’m actually going to be with Chanyeol later...and I was going to start doing the billing now so I could get some work done before I leave for the night,” you huffed into the phone.

“Wait but we always do our paperwork together….” Maya’s voice trailed off.

“Yea but I wanted to get it started since I’m not going to be home later….you know?” you said trying to defend your actions. There was a slight silence on the phone that alarmed you but it was quickly broken by Maya’s accented voice.

“That’s quite alright dear. I’ll just...do the rest when I get home….”

“Sweetie, we’re going to let you go though since we just pulled up to Chanel,” Damon said immediately, you sighed and shrugged.

“Alright well have fun!”

“Bye bitch!” Damon pipped.

“Bye hoe!” Maya followed.

“Bye sluts!” And with that you ended the call, picking up your breakfast and taking it into your home office. Since you were going to be eating alone, you figured you might as well be productive. The second you opened your emails, you were taken aback by a few things in your inbox.

One being an email from Coco your nail lady, thanking you for the advanced payment on the next 10 manicures and pedicures. A payment that you never made. Another one being from your electric and water company. It was a e-reciept for this month’s payment on your bill. Another payment you never made. You opened up your financial database and pulled up the charge numbers on all of these bills. You studied the familiar account number that showed up on all these charges. It was Chanyeol’s account.

What is he doing? You thought yourself as you stuck your chopsticks in a piece of salami and brought it to your mouth. Deciding not to dwell or stress on it right now, you saved the emails and decided to continue to go over and revise your billing records just as you said you would. Taking this task on by yourself was absolutely draining. Usually, Maya would help and cut your work down by half. A job that took 2 hours to do took 4 today. You sighed as you send out the final invoice, slumping back in your office chair in defeat. Maybe I can take a nap before I go to Chanyeol’s, you thought happily to yourself. You looked at the time and realized that not having to do your make up today may have been a godsend. You only had 30 minutes to get ready and out the door.

“Fuck!” you cried out as you picked yourself up and slumped your way back into your room. Comfortable. You thought to yourself awkwardly. Comfortable and sexy? Ayyy. Okay focus. You started to rummage through your drawers, pushing ugly pajama pants and way too sexy to be ‘comfortable’ leggings. Yoga pants! You praised yourself as you pulled out from the bottom of the drawer. What’s my comfortable that yoga pants? They make anyone’s ass look fantastic and yours already was pretty incredible. Pulling a low cut v neck shirt over you after slipping on your yoga pants only took you 10 minutes. Well...that’s pretty...cool. You thought to yourself. Not realizing how good it felt to not have slap pounds of make up, try on 5 different dresses and dig through a closet full of heels. It was almost relieving. Now you could just focus on getting out the door. You grabbed your purse and phone walking out with it in your hand.

“Alright guys I’m out!” You cried, only to realize afterward that no one was home. Good going dork, you thought to yourself as you called for an Uber.

X-x-x

Wait a minute, you thought to yourself as you walked out the elevator. Why is he not mad at me? Your pace was slow now, not with the same confidence you had when you walked out of the Uber moments ago. Maybe it was a trap, he was going to yell at you and in person. But that still doesn’t explain everything else. The maids and the bills he paid. Usually, Chanyeol wasn’t that hard to figure out, but today...he had you pegged. You had to shake these thoughts out of your head as you knocked on their door. Usually, you would hear a couple of voices behind the door but it was quiet as you heard the shuffling of feet nearing toward you.

“Ahhhh baby!” Chanyeol said refreshingly as he opened the door. You stood there rubbing your arm awkwardly. He spotted a few strands falling to your face as you looked down shyly. When you brought your head back up to look at him, he pushed those strands behind your ear and smiled. “Come inside.” You followed him in, noting that you were right before about not hearing the other members’ voices. No one was home.

“Where is everyone?” you said as you trailed behind him, clinging onto his arm.

“They went out,” Chanyeol replied, taking his arm out from your grasp and putting it around you, bringing you close to him. The corners of your lips curled into a small smile, wrapping your arm around his waist.

“Why didn’t you go with them?”

“I wanted us to talk...alone,” his voice was cool and it snapped you out of the stary eyed look you gave him. The billing. You had to bring it up. And...Jin. His hand moved to the small of your back, guiding you into his room as he closed the door behind the both of you.

“So, who should do the explaining first?” you mumbled as you crossed your arms. Chanyeol bit his lip and put his hands on your shoulder.

“Let’s talk about that in a bit, I want you to do something for me and for you.”

“Chanyeol, no--”

“Baby please,” he begged, pouting slightly and cocking his head to the side. He knew that look drove you insane and you could never say no to him. Going back on your word with Chanyeol was a pattern. You threatened to kill him for all the crazy irresponsible things he did but then he would look at you like that, or kiss you up against a wall and suddenly, you gave in.

“What, Chanyeol? What? What do you want me to do?” you sighed exasperatedly, not wanting him to think you weren’t angry with him still. He grabbed your wrist and brought you to his computer desk, pulling out the chair for you to sit. As you sat down, he dug into his back pocket and pulled his wallet out. Confusion was threatening to wash upon your face, but you did everything in your power to remain stoic.

“Here,” he put his credit card in front of you by his keyboard. “I want you to buy yourself anything you want. Dresses, shoes, make up, Chanyeol and EXO goods to support the nation’s boy group,” he laughed nervously as he continued in a serious tone, noting that you weren’t laughing. “This is my way of taking you shopping. Since we can’t go out together...I just want to spoil you like the princess you are.” You were speechless. There were so many things you wanted to say but couldn’t bring yourself to let the words slip out your mouth. On one hand, you wanted to confront him about his actions. He was frantically showering you with things and you couldn't figure out why. The fact that he hasn’t brought up the situation with Jin was troubling you too because it was clearly something they needed to be talked about. You looked up at him and made the decision to stop him in his tracks.

“Why are you doing this? What’s with all of this? The cleaning ladies? The groceries?” you stood up to face him. It was like a snowball effect. Once you started you couldn’t stop and it just escalated. “You know I was looking over the billing and I saw you paid Coco for the next 10 weeks. Then there’s the light and the water bill. What are you playing at? And why are you avoiding--”

“Baby, baby, baby. Relax,” his voice was strange. There was a gentle and calming tone you’ve never heard before. It was like Chanyeol was...different. He placed his hand on your neck, cupping it slightly as he looked into your eyes. “Anything you ever want, I want to give it to you. Anything you ever need, I want to give it you. Anything you could ever desire, I want to give it to you. I’m not paying you for sex anymore because…” He licked his lips and looked down, as if the floor was coaching him to finish his sentence. Finally, his head snapped up and your eyes met again with intensity. “I want to date you. I want you to give me a fair chance.”

“Stop,” that was all you needed to hear. You know you weren’t going to like the answer he gave you but this was...this was just too bold. Too much for you to handle.

“No,” he bit back, causing you to cock an eyebrow at him. “I’m tired of you denying me. I’ve loved you for so long and you continue to tell me that you can’t and that you wont…”

“I’m not going to do this with you Chanyeol. Enough is enough,” you moved his hand away from you and you started for the door. “You don’t want to pay me anymore, fine. But then you won’t see me anymore. It’s that simple,” you spat as you walked away. There was a pull at your wrist and as you turned around, you saw his hand around it with a furious look on his face.

“That’s how it’s going to be? You’re just going to walk out on me like this?” You scoffed at him, not believing the gall he had for grabbing you like that much less assuming you were just going to be okay with all of this. You ripped from from his grasp and continued to walk away. He followed behind you, demanding an answer as if your actions weren't enough.

“Walk out on you? You know what you’re doing? You’re talking about yourself like...” As you walked down the hall and reached the front door you turned to him and snapped. “Like you’re more than what you really are. Like you’re...I don’t know.”

“Your boyfriend?” he snarled at you as he neared closer to you. “Maybe because I am, (Y/N).”

“No you’re not!” your voice was shrill and filled with annoyance. He just shook his head and ran a hand through his hair.

“Oh no?” He neared closer to you resulting in you moving back slowly until you felt the door on your back. His breath tickled your face as he was just a few centimeters away. Chanyeol closed the gap between you, brushing his lips against yours. His arm snaked around your waist and he pulled you close, deepening the kiss. Your arms landed on his chest and for a second you hated him. Hated how the feeling of those soft lips against your dissipated everything. Why is he like this? You cried to yourself internally as you got lost in his touch.

“Do you love me?” he said breathlessly when he pulled away from you. A defeated sigh escaped your lips. Chanyeol was relentless.

“Chanyeol please, don’t do this.”

“Do you love me?” He asked again as he kissed your forehead. The pressure in your eyes was building. Not now, you thought to yourself. Fuck not now.

“Why do you do this if you know I’m just going to hurt you?” your voice was shaky, trying to hold back the tears that threatened to fall. Every time you answered that question, you gave him a false hope of a beautiful happy ending that no matter how hard you tried, you could never promise him. And he could never promise you. But that didn’t stop him. He cupped your chin in his hand and looked deep into you eyes as tears pooled over your (e/c) irises.

“Nothing I can do to myself would hurt as bad as not having you in my life…” Those words melted onto you. The tears that rolled down your face melted the ice you were using to shield yourself from him. You see, Chanyeol came at you with such intensity and heat. You didn’t want to accept it. So you did the most sensible thing, which was line your soul with ice. Form an igloo to keep you cool because if you mirrored that heat, it would just make him fall deeper. Make yourself fall deeper. It’s been 2 years, you’ve learned how to fight it. But Chanyeol reached his limit. Jin was his limit.

“Do you love me?”

The ice was thin. It was getting harder to remain unphased. Your soul was sweating, begging to ignite.

“With all my heart,” you whispered.

“Will you wait for me?”

Silence fell upon you both. He bit his lip slowly, anxiety playing on his face as he gave you pleading eyes.

“I can’t…”

“Baby,” He dove in and kissed you deeply, thumbing over your cheek, catching all the tears that rolled down them. “Don’t cry. I’m sorry.”

Don’t cry.

You couldn’t stop yourself. The ice melted and everything you kept hidden was coming out. You wanted to cry for him, because you felt like such a horrible person. For the years you spent pushing him away. For Jin. You didn’t want to do this to him. And you didn’t want to do this to Jin. This was all coming down at once and the pressure pulling you thin.

“I have to go…” You muttered, hoping he would back away from you as you were still pinned to the wall behind you.

“(Y/N), I’m sorry. I just...I’m losing my mind here. Thinking about what you say to him. If you’re falling out of love with me. Why am I not good enough? What am I not doing? So this is my approach. A last ditch effort. I can’t lose you but…” he swallowed hard as his voice cracked. It wasn’t until now you noticed that he was holding back too. His eyes were laced with threatening tears as well. There were thousands of words left unsaid reflected in his voice, expressed in the way he shuddered when you spoke, when you touched him. “It’s not fair, (Y/N). Why won’t you let me love you?”

“Because I’m no good for you…”

“You don’t think I know that?” His voice cracked again. Clearing his throat, he brought a finger up to the bridge of his nose and scratched it nervously. “You were fucking me for money. That’s all it was ever supposed to be but you know what fucking happened? I asked you a stupid question. ‘Are you okay?’ I wanted to be nice to you. Show you that the world isn’t as shitty as you probably thought. And you did think that,” He rubbed his face, as if it wasn’t obvious he was was wiping tears away. There was a broken feeling that cracked your whole existence. You’ve seen Chanyeol cry before. Emotions for Chanyeol were always amplified. He had such a pure soul and he shared it with everyone he ever met. That’s what made you love him, and continue to love him. Chanyeol brought you the beauty of feeling emotions in a raw fashion. But this instant wasn’t one of the times you admired his soul. You resented it, because of the tears that started to flow down his face. “I just wanted to be there for you…”

“And I’m sorry for that,” Inching your hand close to his face, you wiped the tears away. Just as he did to you every time, your fingers brushed up against his supple skin. You prepared yourself to utter the words he hated to hear. He needed to hear them though. “It’s just that my business. I worked so hard--”

“Of course, (Y/N). Blame it on your business,” his voice was uneven. You could tell he was fighting himself internally. What he was showing you was just a glimpse of the bigger picture that displayed in his mind. He backed away slowly away from you, shaking his head. “That’s my real competition. Not fucking Seokjin.”

He was right in a sense. Your business prevented you from being with him. From being with Jin. Giving them a fair shot at your heart could never happen if they were your clients. If there’s a true and tried rule that was always relevant in any business setting was you don’t mix pleasure with business. Granted your business was about pleasure, but it was about your client’s pleasure. Not your own. So yes, part of it was your business. But then you thought about your family, your past and all the things you did to get to your business. That was the other part. Even if Starlight Catering wasn’t around, you couldn’t give them what they wanted. You were never safe. They would never be safe. And you weren’t going to get them mixed up in your twisted life. They didn’t deserve it. And you didn’t deserve them.

“I suppose you just fell in love with the wrong person,” you whispered, meeting his gaze as you rubbed your arm. His tear stained face contorted in confusion. Shaking his head, he exhaled and rubbed the back of his neck.

“I don’t think I did...she’s just being hard heard right now,” Chanyeol grumbled. You cocked your head at him, pursing your lips.

“Like you’re not?”

“I am,” he nodded. “Which is why I think I can deal with her.” Taking a step closer to him, you crossed your arms and shook your head.

“You’re barely dealing with me, Chanyeol. And stop talking about me in third person!” He ignored your request and slowly took a step toward you again.

“You see,” he wiped the residual wetness from his face before clasping his hands together. “The girl I love...she’s hard as stone on the outside. But if you’re lucky enough to look through the cracks, stick your hand into it and feel what she keeps hidden behind all of that hardness, she’s as soft as the finest silk, the most expensive furs…”

“No I’m not,” you replied in a robotic tone as he stood closely in front of you. He grinned softly at you, putting a hand on your forearm as you stood there with your arms intertwined on your chest.

“She thinks I don’t listen,” he continued, pulling your arms out of the pretzel you put them in. He held both your arms in his hands, thumbing over the skin softly. “She thinks I don’t know anything about her. That I just want her body and her heart is something I wanted to pick up along the way...but she’s wrong.” Any protest you had was cut off. The grip around your arm tightened and he pulled you into him. His hand cupped the back of your head while his other arm wrapped around your waist. You leaned your head against his chest, wanting to pull away. This was just fueling a fire you were trying to douse, but his embrace was so warm and welcoming. Your body was frozen in his arms, but your heart was heating up. It was a mixture of hot and cold that was intoxicating. But you couldn’t. You wouldn’t.

“I should go--”

“Don’t leave me, please,” His embrace tightened and you felt the fire roar between you as your body pressed against his. His words were desperate and yearning, silencing all the conflict in your mind. You loved when he held you like this, loved the way his heartbeat created a melody in your ear. His head dropped, so that he was now using your shoulder as support, Trailing small kisses against your neck, he traveled up to your jaw peppering small soft kisses against the skin before he spoke again.

“I don’t know what I’m going to do about Seokjin. I don’t know how to prove to you that I’m a better man than he is. But I know we belong together. I’m sure of that. And I’ll do anything to at least show you that,” he pulled away, looking at you with a sincerity you’ve never seen before he sighed. “So you can leave if you want and never look back. Close this chapter of your life with me and find happiness with him,” His chest rose and collapsed at drastic heights as he inhaled and exhaled heavily. “Or you can come back into my room, sit with me, listen to me play that beautiful guitar that you bought me. We can order food when you’re done shopping and enjoy being with each other. The right way. The way I should have been doing…” There was a lump at your throat that prevented you from replying to him. He studied your features, trying to figure you out. But he couldn’t so instead he let his arms drop to his sides as he backed up again.

“I’ll let you decide….Just lock the door on your way out.”

He was so sure you were going to leave. You could tell by the way he slouched as he walked away, disappearing behind the door that led to his room. Now you were alone, left with a decision that you knew you couldn’t make. It was truly a lose-lose situation. If you walked away, you lost Chanyeol. It was like ripping out your own heart and watching pulse in your hand. Knowing he was someone that aided your life, fuck not even aided, he gave you life. Warmed the cold blood that pulsed through your veins previous and kept it warm for 2 years. Chanyeol did that for you. So maybe you had to do this for him. Walk away so he can flourish with someone who could provide him all beautiful things you couldn’t give him. Normalcy, Security, Unconditional love, Monogamy. Yes, any other woman could give him all those things.

But there was a devil inside you and she was selfish. She convinced you that everything he said was right. You were the only one for him. The only thing that had ever made sense was being with Chanyeol. Even when a perfect man like Jin was dangling in front of you for the taking, you still felt undying love for this man. You thought about him with another woman, and you let those two questions that defined your relationship unfold in your mental.

“Do you love me?”

No one would love you with all my heart like I do.

“Will you wait for me?”

I’m the only woman crazy enough to stand through the test of time, just to have a taste of what life would be like with Chanyeol.

It can only be me.

Sometimes, evil prevails. Demons use the art of seduction to get their victims to fall to their knees. It was instinctual almost. Only you didn’t realize that until now that it just ran in your blood. You could leave the familiqlia but the familiglia will never leave you. You started walking and sound of your footsteps flooded the hall as you reached for the door.

You could never be good. No matter how many people you bought out of the human trafficking ring, No matter how many lives you’ve improved, No matter how many people you saved. There was something inside you that was purely driven on the selfish decisions you made. From the moment you saw your father kill for the first time, you accepted your fate. Even now.

The only thing that you would ever do well is hurt others. That’s your destiny.

These thoughts nagged at you as you stood infront of the door, taking the doorknob in your hand, you twisted it and pushed your way passed the door frame, letting the words fall freely from your lips.

“Just know,” you whispered softly. “That I only came back for your money.”

Chanyeol’s face brighten with the most blinding radiance. He was sitting on the edge of the bed, pushing the guitar he had on his lap to the side as you stood in front of him. His movements were swift, almost too fast for you to catch them. He ran over to you, taking you in a tight embrace. This one was different than the last. Before, he held you with anguish and desolation. Now, you felt his muscles loosen against you. It was relief. Your presence gave him solace he wasn’t expecting because you didn’t walk away from him. Even though you know you should have.

“Liar,” he chuckled into the side of your face as he kissed your hair. Following suit, you snapped your neck back and let your lips brush against the first inch of his skin you laid your eyes on. Planting small kissed against his jaw, you let out an airy short laugh before you spoke.

“Maybe I am.”

You felt his body move, still keeping you in an embrace as he guided you over to the seat he originally had intended for you. He pulled his head back so he could look at you, getting lost in your eyes with eagerness.

“I want us to have a good night,” he removed a hand from your waist as he pulled the chair back, never taking his eyes off you. “Get yourself some nice things. Listen to the songs you’ve inspired me to write in the background and when you’re done, we can have dinner and a movie...like...you know…”

“An actual date?” you finished his sentence knowing that he was terrified of saying those words. He had you in his grasp and the last thing he wanted to do was give you leeway to leave again. The nerves he tried to keep hidden were being revealed in his face as he frowned slightly and raised his eyebrows. To put him at ease, you pulled away from his embrace, plopping down on the chair.

“Well,” you said simply looking up at him. “Which guitar are you going to use?” He beamed brightly as he walked over to the bed, putting the beige guitar away and pulling out the beautiful black woodwork you had gifted him. He walked back around the bed and sat at the edge facing you.

“My favorite one,” he doted as he started to tune it. “Given to me by my favorite girl.” You smiled widely at each other and the smile never faded as you turned around and faced the computer. Honestly, you didn’t even know what you were buying. The only thing you could really focus on was the sounds of his fingers strumming against the strings of the guitar. Every note vibrated in your core as you clicked the mouse every so often.

Sometimes, evil prevails.

A/N ;; Thank you for reading! as always, leave me a comment below or message me directly. I love talking to you all in my DMs <3

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wanna1things · 7 years ago

Text

Soulmate!Park Woojin

haha i lov him my first born son, my illness friend, my bab

Genre;; fluff + uhh college!au,, soulmate!au, musical...theatre!au??, graduation!au at the end?????? is that a thing really i don’t knoww

Warnings;; mentioning of like an alternative version of park woojin’s dark past,, that damn dark past…. I had to warn you

Pairing;; Park Woojin x reader

Requested;; no ho ho ho i’m writing this so this account doesn’t die ++ this is also kind of for the anon who asked me to make the soulmate thing into a series sorry i never replied lol but im in a park woojin mood so woojin comes next

Soulmate AU Type;; soulmates experience the same illnesses at the same time until they get in a relationship together (?? is that the right way to put it idk) + soulmates are confirmed by a flash of light when you touch for the first time after you start dating

Summary;; Your best friend Woojin is alway sick when you are sick. You brush it off as being because you spend pretty much every second of every day with him, but maybe it’s something more...

Style;; bullet point

Word Count;; 1796

Also in this series;; Daniel | Jihoon | Jinyoung | Minhyun

don’t tell anyone the idea from this came from this amazingly fun fact;; woojin is 2 months and 27 days younger than me AND he got shingles EXACTLY the same time in his lifetime as me; so 2 months and 27 days after me; so he is my illness amigo

you and woojin basically grew up together

from the moment his family moved in next door to you you’ve been best friends

i mean the friendship started in a very… different way

you used to hear him singing and dancing in his backyard

and you sang back at the top of your lungs in a desperate attempt to start a conversation lol

when you were in middle school you two used to write your own little musicals and perform them for your families

they weren’t particularly uhh technical?? but they were adorable and your families loved it

there’s so many embarrassing videos of those musicals dfjshdf

when you and woojin both caught chickenpox at the exact same time and were confined to your homes

both of your parents winked at each other

they had the idea that y’all were soulmates because duh that’s how soulmates work

as middle school and high school went on you both always had colds at the same time, you got appendicitis within days of each other and you both had your tonsils out on consecutive days

you brushed it off as it just being a coincidence because ;; well;; you were together 24/7 of course you’d get sick at the exact same times you basically had the same germs

you both got closer and closer until you were pretty much inseparable, people either assumed you were dating or that you were brother and sister tbh you two always used to say you were twins to fool people lol

nobody ever really fell for it though

in your last year of high school, both you and woojin started to date people

most of your other friends had all found their soulmates and honestly

as much as you loved being with woojin you were pretty sure you both needed to start having a look for your soulmates

every time you saw woojin with his girlfriend, something ached in your heart that you couldn’t put your finger on

you just chalked it up to you being a bit jealous that you couldn’t be around your best friend as much, nothing more

little did you know woojin felt the same whenever he saw you with your boyfriends

he knew exactly what it was though, he’d had a crush on you since like;; lol middle school

maybe even since he heard that terrible singing response

but he thought you obviously didn’t reciprocate this since you wanted to look for your soulmate so he just;; did the same as you

and there was like a one in 7 billion chance that y’all would be soulmates anyway, so he looked for his own

but he’d never keep a girlfriend for too long, either because they noticed how he only had eyes for you or woojin just felt bad leading them on

you two still spent time together though

every week you made time for a movie night and sleepover

you’d just turn up in each other’s houses, basically addressing each other’s parents as mum and dad too

your parents could both see there were some unspoken feelings between you two but they just let you sort it out between yourselves

when you started to apply for colleges you made sure to apply to the same ones, or ones close to each other

both you and woojin wanted to major in music/dance and drama

which everyone thought was adorable because of y’know those musicals

but both of you still tried your hardest to forget that

SPOILER ALERT

you both got accepted on the same course at the same prestigious performing arts college

you stayed best friends the whole way through college, taking the same classes the whole way through

also since you went to college there was some sort of unwritten agreement not to date people?? like you couldn’t explain it but you didn’t really want to search for your soulmate anymore (you don’t NEED to search he right here!!!)

halfway through your course your college did a rendition of romeo and juliet

OF COURSE you and woojin went for romeo and juliet i mean (cliche) OF COURSE you both get it too

aaaaaaaaaaah you both conveniently forgot about the kissing scenes

but being actors who must rise above™ you both just agree to deal with the kiss

UMMMM sike you totally did not deal with the kiss

that night you literally fell over just thinking about kissing woojin

did i forget to mention that since the middle of the last year of high school you realised god

you have a bIG crush on mr park

big is an understatement actually gosh

just the thought of kissing your crush made your heart rush 9999 miles per hour but NO you have to be a mature actor

after your little heart attack session you get to learning the lines

you and woojin are doing not the traditional romeo and juliet but a kind of revamped version, a bit like west side story orrr the romeo and juliet film with leonardo di caprio

basically its modern day and with like gangs and stuff rather than families??

AND IT’S CALLED ROMEO AND JULES YES

and in this woojin is a mafia boss’ son lol

the first time you walk into the rehearsal you see woojin standing at the front of the stage in this fancy ass suit with a silk red shirt under and you almost like;; have a nosebleed

“y/n, are you okay??? you’ve been staring for like the past 3 minutes lol”

you realised you’ve been staring a BIT (a lot) too long and go and join him onstage to rehearse

SKIP to 2 weeks before the performance

it comes the time when you have to;; practice the kissing scene;;

you managed to negotiate with the director that there only be one kissing scene because otherwise your poor heart wouldn’t be able to handle it

as you run through the lines the;; kiss;; is getting;;; closer and closer;;; aaaa

woojin suddenly held your face in his hand like he was cradling something precious

OOOOOF here it comes

“Jules, I am more sure than anything that we were put on this earth to find each other.”

he smiled one of those like really cute smiles he does you know where it shows off his ADORABLE snaggletooth

and then he leaned in and pressed his lips against yours

and you swear to god it was like your heart stopped

as it was going on your brain was basically scrEECHING ok yOU LOVE PARK WOOJIN OHHHH MY GOD

when the scene was over you both wandered back to your rooms with a permanent blush comPLETELY lovestruck

until you both woke up the next morning with throat infections

you stayed in bed until the afternoon when you went to pick up your phone to ring woojin and complain like god this guy got you ill AGAIN

when you see you have an incoming call from woojin

“y/n!!! why did you not tell me you had a throat infection omg you better hope this is gone in 2 weeks because i canNOT perform with my throat like this”

“woojin... i did not have a throat infection before this you dummy it’s your fault i bet its because you decided to stay up playing cooking mama or something until like 5 am yesterday”

“MAYBE I DID BUT THAT’S NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS”

woojin hangs up almost immediately because it’s just hit him

you and him both got sick at the exact same time okay

your parents were right you really were soulmates

SO, he rises out of his bed and brainstorms a confession plan

and he decides that at the end of the performance of romeo and jules he’ll reveal his love lol

luckily you both recover in time to do the show but you don’t have time to rehearse the kissing scene

which you’re really thankful for because you don’t know how much more your heart can take

on the night of the play you both share a hug backstage before going on

and you convince each other not to be anxious

it’s just like one of your musicals from when you were younger

both of your parents are in the audience too

the performance starts and it goes like super well

the dance sections are amazing and woojin’s dancing is so like… beautiful you almost forget your lines lol

the kiss scene actually goes surprisingly well

but halfway through you hear your parents and woojin’s little sister go ‘oo’ and wolf whistle lmaoooo

which makes you both blush and fumble a little bit

in the ending scene where you and woojin die because of a hit put out by the mafia boss

there is a whole ass STANDING OVATION

you and woojin are really shocked but you hold hands and smile widely at each other because like this was your dream since you were kids??

and woojin is just staring at you because god you looked so happy in that moment it was like you were glowing shfdsj boys so lovestruck n WHIPPED

as you go backstage you and woojin are just talking and in total shock about the whole thing

“listen woojin i can’t believe it went down so well like did you hear those cheers?? oh my god!!!”

“haha yeah did you hear both of our parents and my sister when the kiss scene happened i was so embarrassed”

“oh my god woojin why did we even invite them honestly i wanted to go and hide in a whole-”

“y/n will you go out with me?”

“honestly when i heard them i felt like i was going to die - wait what? are you serious?”

you look at woojin and you realise he is like… deadly serious

“well duh i am”

“oh darn okay then yeah uhhhh yeah i’ll go out with you??”

he holds your hand tightly and there’s a sudden like flash of light

and woojin just whispers

“i knew it, i’ve known it for years”

and you smile and lean forward to kiss him because god

are you pleased that your best friend and the person you have loved for years is your soulmate

and of course your parents are pleased because damn that 6th sense was CORRECT

UHH BONUS

when y’all graduate obviously top of the class

you make a wonderful plan

to dig up your dark past together

and at graduation you recreate one of the first musicals you did as kids

it goes down so well and the whole class just cheers and screams and cringes along with the hilariously terrible and childish storyline

and basically it’s the damn cutest thing yes

i take that back YOU TWO are the damn cutest thing

ok im going to sleep now uh enjoy this and i’ll do the other members uhh SOON

#woojin #park woojin #wannaone imagines #wanna one imagines #wanna one #wannaone #wannable #produce 101 imagines #Produce 101 #produce 101 scenarios #soulmate au #au #college au

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warmsilk · 7 years ago

Text

hey i was tagged ilke a month ago to do this by @empainada ily i’m LATE ;00

1) do you have a good relationship with your parents?

yeah !! it’s been rocky in the past but it’s all chill now

2) who did you last say ‘i love you’ to?

@llurae >;3cc

3) do you regret anything?

obviously?? who tf doesn’t lmao

4) are you insecure?

whom the fuck isn’t insecure,,

5) what is your relationship status?

tragically single,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, i’m a lonely gay

6) how do you want to die?

surrounded by pics of the pillsbury doughboy’s butt

7) what did you last eat?

a spicy ahi bowl and wasabi peas ,, what can i say i’m a spicy gorl

8) played any sports?

uhhhhh i swam competitively and played tennis?? i’ve done volleyball too,,

9) do you bite your nails?

nah

10) when was your last physical fight?

uhhhh Never i’m soft

11) do you like someone?

u know what,,, my emotions are a Fuck i have a tiny crush on like all my friends and mutuals it’s COMPLICATED ok

12) have you ever stayed up 48 hours?

honestly,, idk

13) do you hate anyone at the moment?

mmmmmm no

14) do you miss someone?

mmmmmmmmmmmmm no

15) have any pets?

YES i have a lil puppo named hana :’)))) she’s my baby i lov her sm,, i also have a fish named hunky boy who i’m shocked is still alive,, i honestly thought he’d die like. two months ago

16) how exactly are you feeling at the moment?

idk i go through a new feeling every second

17) ever made out in the bathroom?

i’ve never been kissed and YES i’m insecure about it so jot that down

18) are you scared of spiders?

ye a h?? recently i killed a big ass spider while listening to the lightning thief musical soundtrack and it was an experience

19) would you go back in time if you were given the chance?

N O have u even seen back to the future smfh

20) where was the last place you snogged someone?

how many questions about kissing someone are there i’m gonna punch all of them

21) what are your plans for this weekend?

uhhhhhh packing for my trip and ?? idk ?? dicking around on tunglr?

22) do you want to have kids? how many?

my feelings on having kids range from “://// m a y be” to “no” so,, shrug

23) do you have piercings? how many?

just one on each ear,, i want two on each tho :00

24) what is/are/were your best subjects?

english, band, and japanese are always the classes i do best in,,,, last year i did rly well in biology tho !!

25) do you miss anyone from your past?

n o p e

26) what are you craving rn?

gummy bears and curly fries hsfjdms but i’m trying to b a healthy binch so

27) have you ever broken someone’s heart?

??i don’t think so????? i’m not desirable enough to break someones heart lmao

28) have you ever been cheated on?

no thank god

29) have you made a boyfriend/girlfriend cry?

nO thank g o d

30) what’s irritating you right now?

my shoulder kinda hurts?? damn ya girl needs a massage

31) does somebody love you?

romantically??? no lmao. platonically?? i’d like to think my friends n family,,

32) what is your favourite colour?

i’ve always loved blue since i was little and i also like soft pinks,,

33) do you have trust issues?

listen sometimes yeah but at the same time i can’t keep my fuckign mouth shut,, i’m an oversharing binch !!!!

34) who/what was your last dream about?

i forget,,, something about being in an elevator with my friends hgsfndmsf

35) who was the last person you cried in front of?

my therapist lmao ,, i hate crying in front of people i can’t control my goddamn eyes tho,, ya girl is an emotional bih!!!!!!!!!!!

36) do you give out second chances too easily?

uh it’s what i do best??? i just want people to like me tbh to be honest tbh

37) is it easier to forgive or forget?

forgive

38) is this year the best year of your life?

maybe?? definitely better than last year

39) how old were you when you had your first kiss?

consider this question PUNCHED

40) have you ever walked outside completely naked?

n o hgfnsdfsdnsdfnsdnmfs

41) favourite food?

rub s my hand s toge thre…… i lov pho, sashimi, takoyaki, ozoni, and wasabi peas,, i’m also very indecisive (OH AND I LOVE NAAN BREAD)

42) do you believe everything happens for a reason?

probably not tbh lmao. a stray cat just died, what’s the reason for that? it’s not that deep fam sometimes things just happen u kno,, u just gotta take life in stride and keep chuggin

43) what is the last thing you did before you went to bed last night?

washed and moisturized my face binch!!!

44) is cheating ever ok?

no if you’ve ever cheated i hope u know how shitty what you’ve done is

45) are you mean?

i don’t… think so …. i might be?? idk

46) how many ppl have you fist fought?

no one has given me a good enough reason to fist fight them lmao

47) do you believe in true love?

sure why not. doesn’t mean it’s easy tho, no relationship is always easy. but sure

48) favourite weather?

mmmmm cool air with a slight breeze,, preferably cloudy with patches of sun

49) do you like snow?

ye S,, unfortunately i’m in hawaii so like,,

50) do you wanna get married?

UHHH IDK,,, i love the idea of having a girlfriend but having a wife kinda freaks me out,, i’m only 15 tho so like..

51) is it cute when a boy/girl calls you baby?

YES,,, i prefer babe but honestly i’ll take what i can get

52) what makes you happy?

my friends, animals, gay shit, cartoons, skin care, the beach, space,,, idk everything on my interests page

53) would you change your name?

no i think megan suits me,,

54) would it be hard to kiss the last person you kissed?

another question to p u n c h

55) your best friend of the opposite sex likes you, what do you do?

say that i’m sorry but no,, lmao (i’m a lesbeeb)

56) do you have a friend of the opposite sex you can act your complete self around?

yeah i love them

57) who was the last person of the opposite sex you talked to?

my friend

58) who’s the last person you had a deep conversation with?

uhhHHhh probably @llurae ,, (let’s play the game “how many times can i tag alya in this post”)

59) do you believe in soulmates?

mmmmmmmmm rationally? no.,, i feel like a Cynical Binch but like,, there are 7 billion people on this earth there are definitely many many people out there exactly like me. so ig if soulmates are real then u have?? hundreds of soulmates?? thousands of soulmates?? 64 soulmates?? (but also i’m a hopeless romantic so yeah i do believe in soulmates hGJSFSHDN)

60) is there anyone you would die for?

everyone??? all of my friends, all my mutuals on tumblr, my family, zendaya, anthony rosenthal,,, ,

i tag @newwavegrl, @sspacewhaless, @gwyoi, @bombolio, @theadrianblack and anyone else who wants to do this,, u don’t have to do it if i tagged u this is a long ass post hgfnsd

#this took so long i'm ................. sweating #megan.txt #tags

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toddcowrd · 8 years ago

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do,,, aLL of the aesthetic asks

how,, how could you do this 2 me

flower crown: when did you last sing to yourself?

like two minutes ago :))

fairy lights: if a crystal ball could tell you the truth about anything, what would you want to know?

if the career i want to pursue is going to work out for me

daisies: what is the greatest accomplishment of your life?

i’ve done nothing noteworthy ever

but i was #1 rally champ in my region for soap box derby and i also won my local race and went to the world championships in ohio :))

1975: what is the first happy memory that comes to mind, recent or otherwise?

uuhhh i got a disney pass recently and have just been going to disney a lot which makes me v happy

matte: if you knew that in one year you would die suddenly, would you change anything about the way you are now living?

yeah man i would tell my crush that i have a crush on them, i would go get all the tattoos, all the piercings, i would prob go to a bunch of protests, and really just speak my mind all the time

black nail polish: do you have a bucket list? if so, what are the top three things?

perform in an original broadway musical as a lead role

meet daveed diggs

write and record a song

pantone: describe a person close to your life in detail.

uhhhhhhhhhh shit man idk my friend carlos is super funny, has really bad eyesight, has just like the worst fashion sense, is sarcastic and mean af but watches all the same youtubers i do and we have so many inside jokes it’s crazy

moodboard: do you feel you had a happy childhood?

yeah, i think so. it wasn’t like super great but my parents supported the things i wanted to do and pushed me to succeed

stars: when did you last cry in front of another person?

like a few months ago probably

plants: pick a person to stargaze with you and explain why you picked them.

my crush cause they’re super nice and i’m sure they would love to stargaze

converse: would you ever have a deep conversation with a stranger and open up to them?

yeah man i overshare all the time :))

lace: when was your last 3am conversation with someone, and who were they to you?

one of my best friends jaque and i have 3 am conversations literally all the time

handwriting: if you were about to die, and you could only say one more sentence to one person, what would you say and to whom?

i would tell my brother that i love him cause i can’t remember when the last time i said it was and i want him to know

cactus: what is your opinion on brown eyes?

i lov ‘em, i lov any color eye

sunrise: pick a quote and describe what it means to you personally.

“where you ought to go depends on where you want to get to” is a paraphrased quote that the cheshire cat says to alice and i’ve always interpreted it meaning if you want to get somewhere, you have to make it happen, and where you go and what you do should be what you want

oil paints: what would you title the autobiography of your life so far?

‘almost 16 years of bullshit’

overalls: what would you do with one billion dollars?

probably buy a bunch of makeup and theatre tickets, and i would buy my friends anything they wanted :)

combat boots: are you a very forgiving person? do you like being this way?

yeah i’m a really forgiving person and i like it but i also kind of hate it bc i fall for the same thing over and over bc i give so many chances to people that don’t deserve it

(see when: i dated a guy like 5 times bc he kept leaving me but then apologizing and promising to change)

winged eyeliner: write a hundred word letter to your twelve year old self.

i’m not going to do that, i’m sorry :((

my memory is really bad so idk what i was like or what i was doing and honestly this ask is long enough lmaoo

pastel: would you describe yourself as more punk or pastel?

punk

tattoos: how do you feel about tattoos and piercings? explain.

i love them with all my heart i’m gonna be covered in them one day but for now i just have my septum pierced

piercings: do you wear a lot of makeup? why/why not?

it depends, sometimes i’ll wake up and not want to do makeup, sometimes i’ll wake up and spend half an hour doing it

i also have to do heavy makeup for shows sometimes

bands: talk about a song/band/lyric that has affected your life in some way.

the entire american idiot album by greenday really affected me a few years ago and really pushed me to like,, be who i wanted to be? idk why but it made me care less what other people thought

messy bun: the world is listening. pick one sentence you would tell them.

you have the right to your opinion unless it is condemning some one for something that is out of their control

cry baby: list the concerts you have been to and talk about how they make you feel.

0 concerts :(

grunge: who in the world would you most like to receive a letter from and what would you want it to say?

uhh probably lin-manuel miranda and i’d probably just want some generic speech about never giving up and working hard so i could hang it somewhere and it would inspire me

space: do you have a desk/workspace and how is it organised/not organised?

i do not have one but if i did it would wildly fluctuate between tidy and unruly

white bed sheets: what is your night time routine?

i remove any makeup i wore that day, wash my face, slap some products on it, change for bed, get a glass of water, play some music, then get in bed

old books: what’s one thing you don’t want your parents to know?

uhh i really don’t keep secrets from my mom? she doesn’t know i’m bi but that’s just more of me not being ready to tell her rather than not wanting her to know

beaches: if you had to dye your hair how would you dye/style it and why?

it would be like deep blue with bangs bc that’s cute af

eyes: pick five people to go on an excursion with you. who would you pick and where would you go/what would you do?

my three best friends (jocsan, carlos, and jaque), em, and my friend kiara

we would go to a theme park cause they’re fun and i love them

11:11: name three wishes and why you wish for them.

to have clear skin cause my skin is horrid atm

to have the courage to tell someone that i think they’re attractive or that i have a crush on them cause i’m shy and nervous all the time

to be able to travel somewhere i’ve never been for fun cause i’ve only ever traveled for other reasons

painting: what is the best halloween costume you have ever put together? if none, make one up.

i wanted to be luna lovegood one year and i was going to get some ravenclaw robes, make Dirigible plum-shaped earrings (to keep away the nargles), get/make a copy of the quibbler, and make her glasses but no one sells ravenclaw robes :(

lightning: what’s the worst thing you’ve ever done while drunk or high?

i mean i’m under age so

psst i may have had ‘a few’ coolers once and then proceeded to kick ass in beer pong with my friend christian (though the cups were filled with water lmao we didn’t drink any beer) it wasn’t regrettable but it was frustrating for everyone else lmaoo

thunder: what’s one thing you would never do for one million dollars?

idk probably like eat someone

storms: you on only listen to one song for the rest of your life, or only see one person for the rest of your life. which and why?

i’d listen to fireflies by owl city cause i’ll never get tired of it

love: have you ever fallen in love? describe what it feels like to realize you’re in love.

i mean, for me it’s like an oh shit feeling followed by happiness and nervousness

clouds: if you’re a boy, would you ever rock black nail polish? if you’re a girl, would you ever rock really really short hair?

i probably wouldn’t cut my own hair short bc i love my long hair but anyone who wants to do either of those things is rad af

coffee: what’s your starbucks order, and who would you trust to order for you, if anyone?

i would trust anyone it’s simple af i either get a vanilla bean with no coffee or a passion fruit iced tea lemonade sweetened

marble: what is the most important thing to you in your life right now?

uhh probably my friends and my choir class

#thanks for the ask!

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colonelkepler · 8 years ago

Text

kevin and ray holt for 50 otp things for anon!!!

1. Who is the early bird/ Who is the night owl?

ray is definitely the early bird, always getting up super early for work, waking kevin up (who’s a LITTLE less of a morning person). kevin’s so much more of a night owl, he works through the night a lot, coming to bed when ray forces him

2. Who is the big spoon/ Who is the little spoon?

UHHH i think kevin’s taller and that’s just funny to imagine so yea kevin’s the big spoon

3. Who hogs the cover/ Who loves to cuddle?

look they are respectful, logical men, who obviously share the cover all the time, and BOTH of them are willing to lean against each other and cuddle up and read. how dare you

4. Who wakes the other one up with kisses?

ray, again cus kevin’s less of a morning person, and it’s wonderful and kevin always smorches him back

5. Who usually has nightmares?

ray ... not often though. when he does, he inches a little closer to kevin, and if kevin’s not in a deep sleep he’ll put his arm around ray and it’ll be wonderful

6. Who would have really deep emotional thoughts at the middle of the night/ Who would have them in the middle of the day?

ray is a night thinker and he’ll get kevin up to start a deep philosophical chat with him, and kevin is READY for that shite

7. Who sweats the small stuff?

kevin and . like . listen. ray gives massages. they are GOOD massages. he massages kevin.

8. Who sleeps in their underwear (or naked)/ Who sleeps in their pajamas?

BOTH OF THEM HAVE PAJAMAS, U FOOL. THEY ARE WONDERFUL AND COMFY AND FANCY AS HELL

9. Who makes the coffee (or tea)?

kevin <33 ray makes a lot of the breakfasts so kevin always likes to make tea for ray. they have a billion different varieties

10. Who likes sweet/ Who likes sour?

kevin has a guilty sweet tooth while ray is into all things sour

11. Who likes horror movies/ Who likes romance movies?

uhhh both of them are waaaaay bigger romance fans but they need movies with that mf statistical analysis

12. Who is smol/ Who is tol?

ray always seemed smol to me and kevin always seemed tol

13. Who is considered the scaredy cat?

kevin considers ray the scared one bc he’s “way more emotional” but ray’s like wtf. no. i’m the one who gets rid of all the spiders, kevin. kevin, please

14. Who kills the spiders?

AHAHAHAH i didn’t notice this while i was answering the last one. ray does!!!

15. Who is scared of the dark?

neither of them bc they are Rational Adults and they are proud of it

16. Who is scared of thunderstorms?

ok kevin kind of hates thunderstorms. refuses to say he’s scared of them, but he dislikes them.

17. Who works/ Who stays at home?

both of ‘em work but ray’s at home more bc kevin’s out way later doing his professor gig.

18. Who is a cat person/ Who is a dog person?

kevin’s so into cats but ray is lowkey a dog person 👀👀👀

19. Who loves to call the other one cute names?

they both do but literally no one but them finds the names cute

20. Who is dominant/ Who is submissive?

ERM. I WOULD FEEL WEIRD ANSWERING THIS (ftr i think ray would top but ANYWAY)

21. Who has an obsession (over anything)?

look kevin has very deep interests in his field and ray has very deep interests in HIS field. but kevin’s more obsessed with his stuff than ray. some things, like squash, they’re equally obsessed with

22. Who goes all out for Valentine’s Day?

kevin!!! remember that bigass bouquet he sent ray he so loves valentine’s day stuff even if he’ll complain abt how consumerist it has become

23. Who asks who out on the first date?

errrm i think ray would ask kevin out first. ^-^

24. Who is the talker/ Who is the listener?

kevin likes to talk a lot abt his interests and ray loves to listen but honestly both of them chat for ages and ages

25. Who wears the other ones clothes?

nreither of them they have Boundaries

26. Who likes to eat healthy/ Who loves junk food?

THEY ARE BOTH EXTREMELY HEALTHY PEOPLE EXCUSE YOU

27. Who takes a long shower/ Who sings in the shower?

kevin takes a long shower and ray always jokingly gets on his back about it. kevin will also hum in the shower but never properly sing

28. Who is the book worm?

KEVIN FOR DEFINITE

29. Who is the better cook?

kevin, even though ray tries to make breakfasts more. kevin’s just got a gift with it and ray is good but he doesn’t have that Magic Touch

30. Who likes long walks on the beach?

ohhhhhhhh kevin would love it more so than ray i think

31. Who is more affectionate?

they’re both equally affectionate and it’s the best thing ever

32. Who likes to have really long (deep) conversation?

both!!!!! they’ll bring up deep stuff whenever, wherever, and talk it out for ages

33. Who would wear “not guilty” t-shirt/ Who would wear “sin” t-shirt?

DRFTYGHUJKL kevin wears the sin t-shirt

34. Who would wear “if lost return to…” t-shirt/ Who would wear “I am…” t-shirt?

they both see this concept at the same time and both get “i am___” shirts and they just see each other like oh dear. oh jeez. made a mistake

35. Who goes overboard on the holidays?

both of ‘em looooooove spoiling each other when it comes to holidays

36. Who is the social media addict?

kevin says ray is the social media addict even though he’s on it like a fraction more than kevin. they both barely use it

37. Height difference or age difference?

ERRRRM I’M NOT SURE. I ALWAYS SEE RAY AS A BIT MORE THAN A LIL SHORTER THAN KEVIN but i see him as very slightly older than kevin. rly not by much. like a couple years

38. Who likes to star gaze?

kevin and ray will always quietly join him ^-^

39. Who buys cereal for the prize inside?

jhgfdsefhtgrew kevin he says he collects them

40. Who is the fun parent/ Who is the responsible parent?

both are pretty darn responsible but ray considers himself the fun parent

41. Who cries during sad movies?

both but they have a weird idea of sad ie STATISTICAL ANALYSIS

42. Who is the neat freak?

.........................yeah both.

43. Who wins the stuffed animals at the carnival for the other one?

ray wins a ton of them for kevin who always laughs and says he’s too old for that but he lovs it

44. Who is active/ Who is lazy?

kevin? ray? lazy?

45. Who is more likely to get drunk?

ray lbr he drinks to forget dumb things he does

46. Who has the longer food order?

ummmm kevin does. he gets particular

47. Who has the more complex coffee order?

agani, kevin, he’s a VERY particular dude

48. Who loses stuff?

neither of them their house is the neatest place ever

49. Who is the driver/ Who is the passenger?

ray drives, kevin is more often the passenger

50. Who is the hopeless romantic?

lowkey................both

#text #uhh #rayvin #?#brooklyn 99 #50 otp things #long post /

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carriefisherscokenail · 7 years ago

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1-102 >:)

there’s so much raw energy in that face i feel like im being physically forced to do this

1. Think of the last person who said I love you, do you think they meant it?it was my mom so i hope so

2. Would you date an 18-year-old at the age you are now?im eighteen so yes sir

3. When’s the last time you were aggravated and happy at the same time?every waking moment of my life

4. Would you ever smile at a stranger?i smile at every single person i make eye contact with

5. Is there someone mad because you’re dating/talking to the person you are?im pretty sure

6. Have you heard a song that reminds you of someone today?i heard deepthroat and i thought of santa claus

7. What exactly are you wearing right now?jean jacket and pj pants

8. How often do you listen to music?every day

9. Do you wear jeans or sweats more?jeans for sure

10. Do you think your life will change dramatically before 2013?this question is literally so funny

11. Are you a social or an antisocial person?depends on the day honestly

12. Have you ever kissed someone whose name begins with the letter ‘A’?yes

13. What about ‘R’?also yes

14. Can you drive a stick shift?i can hardly drive a normal car

15. Do you care if people talk badly about you?i care way too much

16. Are you going out of town soon?i mean im goin to calgs tmrw if that counts

17. When was the last time you cried?saturday night

18. Have you ever told someone you loved them?yes

19. If you could change your eye color, would you?probably not

20. Is there a boy who you would do absolutely everything for?yes i love my friends

21. Name something you dislike about the day you’re having.its christmas i love christmas

22. Is it cute when guys kiss you on your forehead?im a lesbian

23. Are you dating the last person you talked to?noooo

24. What are you sitting on right now?my bed

25. Does anyone regularly (other than family) tell you they love you?my friends who i also love

26. Have you ever wanted someone you couldn’t have?december has done a number on me

27. Who was the last person you talked to before you went to bed last night?colby

28. Do you get a lot of colds?ive been sick for the past 30 years

29. Where is the shirt you are wearing from?probably target

30. Does anyone hate you?you betcha

31. Do you have any empty alcohol bottles hidden somewhere in your room?when isn’t there

32. Do you like watching scary movies?love em

33. Do you want your tongue pierced?never ever

34. If you had to delete one year of your life completely, which would it be?2016 for sure

35. Did you have a dream last night?yes and it was super fucked up

36. When was the last time you told someone you loved them?today

37. Do you think you’ll be married in 5 years?i have no idea

38. Do you think someone has feelings for you?well i THOUGHT SO but people love to play w my emotions

39. Do you think someone is thinking about you right now?i don’t know

40. Did you have a good day yesterday?yeah it was pretty good

41. Think back 2 months ago; were you in a relationship?i think so??

42. In the next 48 hours, will you hang out with a girl?yes literally in 8 hours

43. Has anyone told you they don’t want to ever lose you?yes i think

44. What’s the best part about school?playing fun games like let’s see how long i can hide in my car and smoke before administration catches me and testing to see if they will REALLY not let me walk the stage for missing too many classes

45. Do you have any pictures on your Facebook?yes

46. Do you ever pass notes to your friends in school?it’s not 1986 we have phones now

47. Do you replay things that have happened in your head?all the damm time

48. Were you single over the last summer?nope

49. Is your life anything like it was two years ago?not even a lil

50. What are you supposed to be doing right now?sleeping

51. Do you hate the last guy you had a conversation with?no i lov him

52. Are you nice to everyone?i try to be

53. Have you ever liked someone you didn’t expect to?i never expect to like anybody

54. Do you think you can last in a relationship for 6 months and not cheat?uh people who can’t have problems

55. Are you good at hiding your feelings?it depends on what im hiding

56. Do you think you like someone?sure do!!!

57. Have you kissed someone whose name starts with a ‘J’?i don’t think so

58. Do you prefer to be friends with girls or boys?girls usually

59. Has anyone of your friends ever seen you cry?every single one of them.

60. Do you hate anyone?yes god yes

61. How’s your heart?ready to be harvested and sold

62. Is there something that happened in your past that you hate talking about?yell heah

63. Have you ever cried over a guy?no

64. Who is probably talking a load of crap about you right now?everyone

65. Are your toenails painted pink?no

66. Will your next kiss be a mistake?well every single other person ive kissed in the past month has DONE ME DIRTY so probably

67. Girls love it when boyfriends cry; correct?i hope not dear god

68. Have your pants ever fallen down in public?no i own belts

69. Who was the last person you were on the phone with?colby

70. How do you look right now?like a rat

71. Do you have someone you can be your complete self around?im a libra

72. Can you commit to one person?yeah

73. Do you have someone of the opposite sex you can tell everything to?yeah

74. Have you ever felt replaced?once again yeah

75. Did you wake up cranky?im always in a bad mood

76. Are you a jealous person?eh it depends

77. Are relationships ever worth it?of course jesus christ who the hell wrote these tell them to break up with their damn boyfriend

78. Anyone you’re giving up on?santa

79. Currently wanting to see anyone?see above

80. Name something you have to do tomorrow?

going boxing day shopping

81. Last person you cried in front of?colby AGAIN

82. Is there someone you will never forget?a billion people

83. Do you think the person you have feelings for is protective of you?i don’t think she gives a shit abt me

84. If the person you wish to be with were with you, what would you be doing right now?praying and reading scripture

85. Are you over your past?never babey

86. Have you ever liked one of your best friends of the opposite sex?im a lesbian

87. Is there anyone you can tell EVERYTHING to?yes maam

88. If your first true love knocked on your door with apology and presents, would you accept?we ended on good terms buddy boy

89. So, the last person you kissed just happens to arrive at your door at 3AM; do you let them in?probably??

90. Have you ever liked someone who your friends hated?god u have no idea

91. Will you be in a relationship in 2 months?god willing

92. Is there anyone you know with the name Michael?yeh

93. Have you ever kissed a Matthew?no

94. Were you in a relationship in January? How was it going?i wasn’t

95. Were you happy with the person you liked in March?i was

96. Don’t tell me lies, is the last person you texted attractive?i mean she’s pretty but ive known her since i was an infant so

97. Who do you have texts from?rogers telling me ive gone over my data limit

98. If the person you like says they like someone else, what would you say?i’d brush it off babey thats what i do

99. Have you ever kissed someone older than you?yes

100. Who’s in your profile picture with you?a can of pepsi

101. Ever kissed under fireworks?nope

102. Has anybody ever given you butterflies?all the time

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insecure-hbo-the-recaps · 7 years ago

Text

hella disrespectful

REMINDER/ALERT: Tumblr has locked me out of my original account and from now on I will be posting from this address. PLEASE FOLLOW ME HERE. Do me the additional favor of unfollowing the previous account though I have not yet figured out how to get Tumblr to delete these accounts that I am no longer able to access but that will probably simplify things a little, idk.

Previously on Insecure: "I don't want your conversation - get in my line up;" "Woot-Woot's dead;" "This whole open thing sounds super messy;" "I can't believe Issa's still out here seeing this dude;" "Did you really just do that in my fucking face?"

Issa's in the crib getting some moral support from Molly and I just gotta say I got kinda a bone to pick here:

Issa ain't riding no bike! You know damn well Issa ain't riding no bike! If she were she wouldn't be so fucked up after getting her car smashed. My ex lost a bunch of weight randomly biking all the time and I would get so worried about him biking in subzero temperatures. Getting worried about a partner was new to me, btw. I realized I never worried about it possibly happening that someone I was dating would die lol, like while I was dating him. He'd drop me off and I'd ask him to text me when he got home and if he didn't I'd wake up in the morning seriously thinking "omg what if he got in an accident and died last night?"

Molly is on Issa's team regarding the "surprise" facial. She wants Daniel to be fucked up on sight. Where is Molly? This room looks old fashioned and kitschy as fuck, and the headboard is different from the one she has at home. Issa doesn't want to see Daniel again, but that's not a problem for Molly, who wants to BRRRRR-TATTTT on Daniel with a water gun full of raw eggs.

Issa's pain is deeper though - she was trying to show Daniel that he was special to her and he embarrassed her. To be honest I am still having a hard time getting on the same page with Issa and her deeply insulted reaction to Daniel's surprise facial. On the other hand - I had that happen to me once and I literally never spoke to the guy again. Like in Issa's case, I assumed he did it on purpose... buuuuut, me and that guy kind of hated each other so it made sense. I guess I'm having a hard time relating to why Daniel would have done it and as such why Issa's so offended. It's a little contrived, I think, is what I'm saying. I repeat: a good dude wouldn't do this to you. So either Daniel is a good dude, or he's exposed that he's not. Accidental unwanted facials aren't a thing.

Molly is being a good friend, validating Issa's feelings, and ranting about how men watch too much porn and think that shit's ok. Molly possibly had an ulterior motive, because being in a safe space she feels ok to tell Issa she's still seeing Dro. "I thought that was a one and done?" Issa asks. "It's more like a seventeen and not stopping no time soon," Molly says, and SIGH. WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS MOLLY? IT'S A TERRIBLE IDEA. Why would she even want this? Aren't some men just generally off limits? Dro seems like the kind of guy, with the kind of history, that should just be not an option (particularly considering he's married). Issa still isn't buying that anyone, especially Molly, benefits from this alleged open relationship, which Molly is offended by. They are telling each other hard truths, softened by years of honest friendship, and although they aren't on the same page, they agree to love each other through the stupidity.

Yaaaas, bitch. Issa' still on the bus. She spots the latino kid again, who removes his backpack and Entemann's donuts to give her the seat. When he pulls out a PSAT prep, Issa sees an opening and tries to chat him up about the teacherly and tutorly pursuits her job offers. Surprisingly to both Issa, and the audience I think, the kid says he tried to go but was told by Mr. Gates that the program was full. Issa finally appears troubled by this now that she is confronted by someone she sort of deliberately left behind.

Lawrence Tech Start up. Lawrence is wearing a Santa Claus/footie pajama red thermal and it looks crazy. Colin the Clueless White Guy sidles up to him (in an equally ridiculous printed button up - buttoned all the way to the top naturally) and burgundy pants and makes small talk while Lawrence pours himself a coffee. Colin is all in Lawrence's business for no reason in a gotcha conversation that just serves to prove Lawrence and Arpant have been kicking on the side and trying to hide it at work. Cliffs notes they suck at it and their coworkers have sniffed them out.

Molly is riding around somewhere with Quintin in his wood grain Lexus. He brought her popcorn from Garrett's and while I appreciate the shoutout I've literally never heard of such a thing as RANCH in Garrett's - like - what? It's cheddar and caramel. Stick to the script. Don't try to be new and exciting. You tell someone in Chicago Garrett's is doing ranch popcorn and they will look at you wondering who lied to you. (Note to self: get some Garrett's for the first time since high school.) Molly tries it and is hooked. Quintin asks about Molly's "white boy" meeting: apparently she is going to shoot her shot and ask for the raise. Quintin says he's going to be in LA soon and asks Molly to show him around. Molly: a beat passes before she goes "mm, ok," because she understands the pass he has made at her.

SILICON VALLEY IS SO MILLENNIAL AND COOL. Lawrence is looking for Arpana to make amends for blowing their spot. Arpana does that thing of being possibly offended at keeping things a secret WHILE playing standoffish at the implication that they are anything to be kept secret. Hmmm. Bold move, Cotton. Let's see if that works out for her. Lawrence confirms drink plans, Arpana teases him, blah blah.

At the office, Issa seeks out Frieda and asks to talk. Frieda isn't all that interested, but then Issa presents some research on how to increase latino enrollment at their school. Issa beams at her in approval because apparently they thought of the same plan. Frieda is relieved that she and Issa are back on friendly wavelengths again, and asks where Issa's change of mind came from. Issa acknowledges that she's been lost in herself and Frieda was right. It's a good apology and Frieda is cool with it.

Meanwhile at Molly's Dro shows up with a bag of groceries and Molly's keys. He asks her if she wants them back and she says no. MOLLY. WHY. I DON'T GET IT. There are literally billions of available partners for you. What the fuck is the draw of being emotionally open to A MARRIED MAN? WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS? WHY DO YOU THINK THIS IS GOOD OR WILL WORK OUT? If you're going to fuck a married man in an open relationship ok, I guess, do you even though it's a thing on its own. But why are you trying to give the motherfucker your keys to your apartment? Christ, Molly. Molly gives Dro her bag of popcorn - that Quintin gave her - which cheapens the rapport Quintin was trying to build in that she tried to transfer it to Dro. I don't get it, Molly, truly.

They change subjects to Derek's birthday party and Molly sours at the knowledge that Dro's wife will be coming. Goddamn that man is tall. Look at him. He's like a basketball player.

ISsa gets a text from Tiffany who wants to know if it's cool that Lawrence is coming to the party. Issa screenshots and sends to Molly who is also offended at Tiffany springing Lawrence out of nowhere. This prompts Issa to check Lawrence's facebook, where she learns he has blocked her. She is really pissed about Lawrence taking their five year relationship to the brink of actually blocking her on facebook, resulting in another angry mirror rap. But she plays it off to Molly.

Law firm. Molly is sitting in front of a panel of three general pale men, pleading her case. She is cool and confident, all Law of Attractioning that she's going to receive the value she deserves. She parries their comebacks with all the agility of Serena. The partners agree with her, but are a bunch of stingy bastards that want to put her off as long as they are able to - they agree with her pitch and simply offer that it will be taken into consideration at her yearly review. And ain't that some bullshit? The idea of wielding that kind of bias because you understand you are bartering with someone that may not have the collateral to be as competetive as she could be. Stupid generic white boy Travis that is already making significantly more than Molly could walk into this meeting and be a threat if he suggested he'd leave because he isn't being paid fairly. When you're a black woman - what's she gonna do? Quit? She should be grateful she has the clout of such an establishment lended to her. Yadda yadda yadda, BULLSHIT.

At the school, Issa has not only decided what has been happening with their program is wrong, she decides she has to confront Principal Gates with it. She tells him they are discriminating and he asks what the problem is being the program is full - "now you're coming up to me with some 'All Lives Matter'?" Ouch. Frieda tries to step in and Gates looks at her, offended. Issa tells him that the latino students are being turned away and it isn't far. Gates again plays the "your tone is offensive/it's not that big a deal/calm down" argument and literally laughs in her face and walks away.

Lawrence forgot about Derek's party and wants to switch drinks with Arpana from 7 to 10. Yeah, no, Lawrence. He tells her his ex would be there and for some reason Arpana offers to go. That's a little messy. Like, have drinks the next day. Why insert yourself?

Back at Issa's, she's wearing a crazy dress getting ready to go to the party and Daniel calls. He wants to apologize and move on but Issa is still mad. She offers vulnerability and asks why he'd do that to her of all people. Daniel seems contrite enough as he asks for forgiveness - even tacking on a "please," and Issa visibly softens. She tells him she hates him which of course is female for "I love you."

Issa asks why their thing is always messy and Daniel, overestimating the strength of their reconciliation, offers that now they're even; he equates what he did to squaring things after Issa dogged him at the charity event last year. And honestly.... I mean, i won't ever condone an unwanted facial, but Issa did get off the hook pretty scott free for telling Daniel he was just an itch she had to scratch and don't tell her boyfriend because their shit was nothing comparatively. Like, Issa had to have known that was scoring points on him too. So, I'm gonna call this a wash. Issa is mad all over again that Daniel intentionally humiliated her, calls him disrespectful and petty, and tells him not to ever call her again. She stomps to her brother's car pissed off, who is apparently accompanying her to the party tonight.

At Derek's party, Kelli brought that random ass dude she met the other night - and good for her. Relationships can start just as well from the club as anywhere else - and for some reason Molly is wearing a black dress with random red armbands attached. And Tiffany is so fucking extra bougie as usual, like, she is simply not a sympathetic character. I can't with her Lori Greiner blonde wig and gratuitous bragging about how much she loves her man. How is anyone friends with her?

Anyway there is a random aside about how Kelli thought "Sweetie" was just going to be some strange, but she's meeting his parents at the mosque next week. Okey dokey. Dro shows up with his wife. While she's getting a drink he takes a moment to compliment Molly in Spanish. Remember Eric Jerome Dickey on Black People in California and how you could tell a black woman was upwardly mobile if she was fluent in spanish? (I have a friend who works in IR who once commented offhandedly that you only need to know spanish to liaise with poor people, and if you want to mingle with the wealthy you need to know French and/or Chinese. At the time I thought it was horribly offensive but now I know she was right.) Candace is awkward around Molly which does suggest she is aware and knows that her open marriage has led to her husband sleeping with this woman. Also this is apparently Dro's favorite dress which explains that, I suppose. Candace is wear a feathered burgundy cape, affixed to her shoulders with, apparently, double sided tape. I repeat: okey dokey.

Oh damn. That space is nice:

Tiffany signals for an extra toast, clinging the glass with a knife, to announce dinner is served. She makes Molly move from the seat she chose, putting her awkwardly seated at the head of the table. Issa and her brother arrive, and he's such a good buffer. Issa makes note of Candace and checks in with Molly about it. "What's up with y'all?" her brother asks. "Nothing, I'm fine, she grown," Issa says in one breath.

Lawrence's ridiculous ass shows up - in a nice denim button up - trying to ignore everyone aghast at him bringing a random date to this friends only event. He claims he didn't know it would be a sit down event, and everyone awkwardly makes room to accommodate his guest. See? Extra. None of this needed to happen. Lawrence decides to address the elephant in the room and introduces Arpana, who makes a crack about knowing how awkward she's made things. Yeah, that doesn't work when you knew full well in advance the circumstances were going to be awkward. But everyone is adults and they try to laugh it off. Issa orders a whiskey.

Mid-dinner. They are having lovely pretentious cultural conversation. When Molly tries to chime in everyone ignores her. She feels very left out and alone. J from ABG asks Lawrence why he's there, basically, and has to be informed that they all know each other because Lawrence is Issa's ex. By the next cut of passage of time, Issa is drunk.

The dinner continues awkwardly: Tiffany is fucking annoying, Issa's brother is a bitchy gay, and Issa is poor. Nobody's showcasing their best self, I think. When the conversation shifts to Issa's building being sold, there is a moment of Lawrence openly pining about how he and Issa used to live together. When Tiffany makes a toast to "the Barack to her Michelle" - so extra - Issa drunkenly comments about Lawrence's random. Enough being enough, Issa walks out. Lawrence follows. Oh boy.

He lies that he wouldn't have brought Arpana if he knew Issa would be there. She calls him out as being full of shit and tells him she knows he's just parading that girl in front of their friends. Also, she knows that he blocked her. Lawrence admits it, because he couldn't "stand to see pictures of the nigga you fucked" while they were together. The fact that Issa wasn't the one who posted them - parading around someone in Lawrence's face as it were - and that he accuses her of still fucking Daniel, as if that's any of his business, is more than enough to clarify that Lawrence is in the wrong here. It's all about his hurt feelings and what Issa did to him or owes him; that she would still be wronging him to see someone else after they broke up. He's bullshit, basically.

When Issa doesn't refute this, Lawrence lets his insecure flag fly freely and asks who else she fucked while they were together. Issa's voice breaks as she asks whether he's serious, especially since he fucked her while he was dating his bank teller. "And being some fake music producer's jump off is better?" Lawrene spits back. And... jump off? Are we still saying that? Also, he's hitting way below the belt whereas Issa was not. This is something that I suppose is an inherent misogyny in the black community that frankly at this point is no longer normal to me and is almost unforgivably egregious. So at this point I don't blame Issa for hitting back that Daniel has "way more going on than Woot Woot."

They both know that Issa has hit him below the belt now too, so they both go for broke: Issa asks whether all this was worth her supporting him for two years while he was depressed, and Lawrence counters that it is worth about as much as all the time she "spent being a fuckin' ho." And, again. Maybe I'm too far removed. But I can't see having anything else to do with someone who showed up with, I'm sorry it has to be said, an exotical to your black friendship group, calling your ex girlfriend a ho, and stomping off in a petulant rage. You couldn't come back from that for me, but that's just me. If you want to make the argument that Issa cheating on Daniel is equivalent to Lawrence mooching off Issa and doing nothing with his life with two years (WHO WAS PAYING ALL THOSE LIFESTYLE BILLS, MOTHERFUCKER?) and trying to hurt her by flaunting a new relationship in her face, I may be biased, but I don't think there's much room for redemption there.

Back at the party, Molly follows Dro to the bathroom and he already knows where her head is. Molly admits she wasn't expecting not being able to see him with his wife, and how left out she feels knowing that he won't ever be that way with her. Being someone's dirty little secret isn't fun. Dro convinces her that they have something too, and she lets him fuck her on the bathroom sink. I hope I am never this desperate for affection. And I'm not being hard on Molly, really. But I think she's being very foolish with her emotions and it's hard for me to understand why she would put herself in this position, knowingly aware every step of the way that she's setting herself up for failure. Case in point: Dro asks her to wait for a moment and let him leave the bathroom first. Still, inexplicably, Molly is hurt by this. Girl, please. You wanna play that big girl's game, but on your big girl panties then. She steps out to find Issa waiting for the bathroom. Issa wordlessly straightens Molly's bangs and zips up her dress and Molly thanks her, for her nonjudgment.

Lawrence is driving Arpana back and she asks whether he still wants to get drinks. He doesn't answer.

Molly finally calls her mom back, and tells her she just needed some time. She asks why Mom stayed with Dad, and Mom replies that she just loves him. Apparently Molly is in the same headspace and asks how she deals with the hurt. I don't want to be redundant and point out that Molly's hurt is unreasonable, because on some level I do suppose that's insensitive. But, I just don't have any sympathy for this. We all do shitty things. But you can't ask me to feel bad for the consequences of your shitty things when you are fully aware what you are doing is harmful to you. If I'm doing something that hurts, I figure my options are to keep doing it and stop whining, or to stop fucking doing it. When she gets home, Molly responds to Dro's scheduling text that she can't do this anymore but we all know it rings hollow.

Issa comes home to a letter on her door informing her of her rent increase, and it's finally too much.

Her experimenting with ho-ness turned out to be a bigger blow to her self esteem than she could handle, and she's clearly stung behind Lawrence calling her a ho. That's what she was trying to do, right? But in reality it didn't work out so well. Her side pieces were not pliable enough, the one guy she was seeing relatively seriously compared to the others deliberately humiliated her, and her ex that she had partially built a life with devalued the time they spent by diminishing her as the thing she was afraid of being seen as - a tool, a joke, a ho. She kicks a chair then just lashes out entirely, breaking dishes, throwing tables, smashing furniture.

#issa rae #insecure hbo

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