#i lost the reference pic half way through making it and could not find it again so there are some differences ofc

[ascendingconures]

Yes!!!!!

spooky reminder that i made a VR map of the Magnus Institute you can go explore on vrchat. Its interactable. Its unhinged. its buggy. its full off references. dont take it too seriously.

[thejustmaiden]

So out of nowhere I was tagged and quoted by a SR shipper for a blog of mine posted in August of last year. Talk about throwback but, hey, gotta appreciate that level of snooping. 😉

Back in the day I actually used to encourage discourse amongst Inuyasha fans- both shippers and antis alike- but I've since realized that it's a lost cause. But for you, @feministmetalgreymon , I'll grant this exception. Just 'cause it's been a while so why the hell not. haha

I want to assure you, however, that nothing you say will ever convince me that Sesshomaru and Rin are meant to be together romantically or that the story intended it so. Nor will you find any validation here. You can ship them for all I care, but please for all that is good and holy while I have your attention try- I mean really try- to understand why it is so many of us Inuyasha fans are so against this pairing in the first place (newsflash: it's not about ship wars), and why we believe a romance between the two of them is completely and utterly out of character.

For those of you interested in reading this, the blog of mine in question that the above shipper mentions in their counter-argument is here for reference. It's titled "Jaken = Rin's Dad?" I'm going to try and keep this short, but I'm also making no such promises. After all, I'm not exactly known for my brevity. haha Now let's get crackin'!

Like you, feministmetalgreymon, did for your recent blog here where you took screenshots of mine to address certain parts, I will be doing the same and dissecting yours accordingly.

[Snippet 1]

I worked with kids for many years as a teacher, and many people in my family have too or still do. Two of them happen to be just over 5 feet which is quite short for the average adult woman living here. I've also worked alongside many a women of short stature, and never did I hear any of them complaining of issues with their students having difficulty differentiating them from their own peers just because they were short as well. I'm sorry but that's just ridiculous. Kids are quite smart and pick up on a lot more than you seem to give them credit for. Height is not the only characteristic they look at to determine who's an adult and who's not, and it's foolish to suggest otherwise. So unless you're a babysitter who's still in their teens and/or who has very childlike features or behavior then I'm afraid what you're getting at is total hogwash. This is just another example of how you shippers offer nothing of real substance to your reasoning, it's only ever cherry-picking or strawmanning from you guys. Stop deflecting from the real issues please, because this certainly isn't one and only winds up being a complete waste of time for all parties involved.

[Snippet 2]

Okay, calm down now. I wasn't insinuating that relationships between parents and children can't change over time in terms of how they get along. Of course that's possible, as all families experience their fair share of estrangement and abuse. What I was speaking about was in reference to the overall dynamic between the two. Because a bad mother or father can still be viewed as a parental figure to their child even if say they're not in said child's life anymore. Since Sesshomaru and Rin share a healthy bond- and just a friendly reminder that in my blog I even said that he doesn't have to necessarily be labeled her father but that a romantic relationship later would still be inappropriate- I didn't deem it necessary to address what you brought up. Plus, it kinda, umm, misses the point?? Please, let's stay on topic. And it's not captured in the screenshot, but stop acting like there isn't a small part of them that idolizes their parents at some point during childhood. Just like you mention later on how it's normal for kids to have innocent crushes on adults that they eventually grow out of? Well, guess what, the same concept applies here. Kids eventually learn that their parents are far from perfect and make mistakes too. Rin is so damn young in the OG series though that we never even get to see her reach that maturity level.

[Snippet 3]

LOL! Alright, okay, so the "unbreakable bond" bit you're mentioning was actually me quoting you sessrinners. Did you not catch that? I literally spelled it out. *sigh* The whole point I was making is that shippers like yourself make hypocritical and contradictory statements all.the.goddamn.time. One moment you guys claim that Sesshomaru and Rin were essentially strangers and meant very little to each other, only to say in the same breath a few seconds later that they were destined to be together and their bond is like no other. I agree, their bond is special, but why must that mean they're going to fall in love?

That is the root of the matter here. Too many animes/mangas have romanticized this older adult man & young girl growing up falling in love trope that it's become way too normalized and widely accepted across the world- and yes, in some cultures more than others. Sadly, you lack the awareness to recognize how this all works. You know how we know that? When we see that you shippers are so desensitized to sexualized images of girls in the media that you share posts like this one below which *subtly* imply a future romance although one half of that pairing is still just a child in the pic and then try and pass it off as cute. That's like super fucking problematic and it scares me that you can't see that (or deny you do). 🤢

After all that's said and done, Sesshomaru leaving Rin in the village with Kaede is to me the strongest indicator more than pretty much anything else he's done for Rin that proves he is her adoptive father. It's so funny to me how you somehow see the exact opposite though. 🤔 What I think is happening is that you got yourself on some squeaky clean ass shipper goggles fresh out of your little echo chamber. Because I hate to tell you, but what you're fantasizing is what you want to see and not what's actually there on screen or was written into the story. I'm strictly talking about Inuyasha and the manga of course. [For the TL; DR version skip to the last paragraph.]

Parents looking after their kids is what parents are supposed to do. A good parent will do anything to keep their child safe and ensure they are cared for, so what he did for her by leaving her there was in her best interests clearly. Besides, as a babysitter, you more than most people should understand that parents aren't always able to be there for their kids so sometimes others gotta step in to help. Haven't you heard of the saying, "it takes a village to raise a child?" Which in Rin's case is literally true! 😂 Sometimes kids are even sent off to stay with grandparents and that's who raises them instead. Or maybe they have to temporarily live with an aunt or uncle because their single parent's job requires they work out of town 4-5 days of the week so they're hardly home. But that doesn't mean that the parents care or love their kids any less, and it's foolish to assume that Sesshomaru must have thought very little of Rin simply due to the fact that he made the decision to leave her in the village. Come on, y'all are acting like he abandoned her there!!

It's just given the circumstances Sesshomaru finally came to learn that Rin traveling with him was no longer safe. I also like to think it's because he wished for her to live a more normal life and to learn how to fully trust humans again. Plus, continuing to travel with him as young as she was would have proven dangerous and unwise. Now for you to know all this and still manage to turn his past actions towards her while she was just a child into a romantic gesture is what boggles my mind. Regardless of how you look at it, from my perspective or your own, Sesshomaru is in the wrong. Either he's a father figure who impregnates his daughter at the young age of approximately 14. OR he's this man she used to travel with who maybe isn't a father to her but who nonetheless basically rapes her since kids her age can't consent to sex with an adult. Idk about you but it sounds to me like nobody here wins with either scenario we're given. In other words, you should be just as mad as we are. If only one side didn't choose to forsake their morals they know we both have in common for the sake of a ship. Welp. 🤷‍♀️

I agree, incest is disgusting but that's not the only problem we have with this pairing. A romantic bond forming between Sesshomaru and Rin would also constitute as grooming.

You realize that over the years he visited her in the village that he brought her gifts too and essentially watched her grow up right before his very eyes, right? I mean, I know you do, but I really shouldn't have to explain further why pursuing a romantic/sexual relationship with each other is plain and simple wrong. And before you say it's not because he didn't have any malintent, please understand that considering their history and power dynamic up to then that yes this is still considered grooming even if Rin supposedly "wanted it" or "made the first move." Whether you consider him her father or not, as the adult who took on a role resembling that of a caretaker in her early life- a critical developmental time for a child- Sesshomaru is obligated to turn down any advances by Rin and most definitely should not initiate any himself. As the first close adult figure she's had in her life since her parents died, it's unfathomable to imagine how Sesshomaru could go through with taking advantage of this young girl who was under his care and supervision since they met. To think he could be capable of betraying that trust sickens me to the core.

This. Now THIS is how a parent/guardian or a similar adult caretaker (babysitter, teacher, etc.) talks to a child. And, in turn, this is how some young children talk to adults. You'd be insane and delusional to deny it! We see it in our everyday lives, do we not? From where else do you think our stories draw most of their inspiration? Yes, obviously these fictional universes have aspects of fantasy that don't exist in the real world, but so how then do you suppose we're able to relate to them? The reason for that being is because these stories are written by people for people, so naturally there are going to be real life aspects embedded throughout. Sure, a little escapism doesn't hurt as we don't need to take everything so seriously, but ultimately we all need to recognize that the messages in the stories we tell matter. Most stories possess a combination of both light and dark themes, but when it specifically comes to the latter we gotta be careful with how we tackle this in children's media since kids are far more impressionable.

So if at the center of a story we have two of the main protagonists whose mom is basically their same age and to top it off she knew their dad when she was just a girl and who just so happened to help raise her, wouldn't you say that's beyond fucked up or at the very least so fucking weird? Like why would we think it's even remotely okay for our children to watch this garbage?? Really think about it. Try and be objective for once and think about how it would sound explaining this storyline to an outsider who's never watched IY or HNY. Well, antis have tried this before many times and we always get the same reaction: Ewww!

Like I said earlier, if you wanna ship it then fine, but 1) please stop seeking our approval or trying to change our minds - your ship wish came true didn't it, so why do you need us to validate it? 2) even though it's not canon, respect that we don't support this sequel portraying pedophilia in a positive light. It's harmful af to not only allow but glorify the continuation of sexualized images of young girls everywhere. And I shouldn't have to say this, but just because this trope is popular as you say does not make it right. Lolicon themes in the media have been an issue forever and it needs to stop. Yes, even some people in Japan or "the East" would agree. Shocker!

We're pissed off and rightfully so because Yashahime's TV rating is 14, not to mention it airs at the prime time kids in Japan watch TV after getting home from school. That's Towa and Setsuna's age, true, but if Rin being the mom when she's like only a year older than them (please don't argue w/ me about the math- antis have so far been right every time with it) is straight-up disgusting and not something we should be supporting or endorsing. Rin's a whole ass child!! Please don't start with the "but times were different then so her having kids at 15 is acceptable" argument either, because we've already debunked that and every other single excuse you guys throw at us. Besides, how or why would you expect young viewers to know these historical "facts" anyway, especially if as you suggest fiction doesn't affect reality so what does it matter? Yet here we are, arguing over a fictional show in real life almost a year and a half into the "Sesshomaru fucks?" sequel being announced. My ass, your ass, hell all our asses fiction doesn't affect reality!

Look, I do apologize if the tone of this blog came off as snippy or condescending at times. I do not wish you any ill will, it's just I'm not really sure what you expected to get out of all this besides maybe getting on my nerves perhaps. haha A lot of you shippers have been desperately scrambling to interact with us, lurking in our tags, jumping onto our posts screaming canon and getting so defensive even though you sought us out first. We've been sticking to our tags, so how about you stay in your lane too. By the way since we're on the topic, have you seen Twitter or Reddit?! SR shippers there are the actual worst and many Inuyasha fans (not just antis) have complained of not feeling welcomed to engage in fandom spaces anymore. Shippers swarm them and scare them off simply because fans don't like your ship and refuse to accept it. It's pathetic, really. No one should ever be bullied or harassed just because they don't like something you might. We're all fans of Inuyasha, aren't we? So let's act like it. Yashahime on the other hand, you guys are welcome to that pungent heap of trash. Fans have a right to criticize it too, but if you like it then good for you, so keep on liking it and don't mind us.

I'm almost done, but real quick back to Jaken! Let's not forget about how the official Yashahime website- which came out after my blog, mind you- described Jaken. This translation isn't the best one available but it's the only version a fellow anti friend could track down. They do recall a better one done by a native Japanese speaker who was also an anti, and that member confirmed that Jaken is indeed called Rin's babysitter. So you see, I was right in my interpretation. In the original post I did compare Jaken to a brother, but after talking to others (some comments can be found under said post) I did acknowledge that he's more of a reluctant babysitter who's not related. And if he's not at least a brother to Rin, then he's definitely not her father.

At the end of the day, the creator Rumiko Takahashi has the final word. Which is guess what? Hogosha. 💖 Probably should've just started out with that and saved us all the trouble, huh? Good day/night to you.

Papamaru bids you adieu now. 🤞

[cockroachmotherfucker10]

PRIDEFALL UPDATE: real or fake?

What is Pridefall?

Operation Pridefall, also known as Project Pridefall or simply Pridefall, refers to an attack planned by /pol/ (a political discussion board on the anonymous website 4chan) for all of June, AKA Pride month. The original 4chan thread, which has since been deleted, was primarily focused on “redpilling,” i.e. spreading queerphobic propaganda to make people question the LGBTQ+ community. However, now that it has spread outside 4chan, there are threats of harassing, doxxing, and outing queer people (especially minors) on social media, spamming gore and rape videos in private messages and Pride tags, and even kidnapping, assaulting, or killing queer people in real life.

Specific targets include Twitter, Instagram, TikTok, and dating apps. The goal is to go after smaller accounts so the queerphobia isn’t lost in the comments.

Is Pridefall real?

Yes and no.

I searched “pridefall” on 4chan last night. Apparently any new threads on it are being deleted, and anytime someone mentions it, everyone calls them slurs and says no one is doing it.

However, Pridefall is gaining some traction on Instagram--I have seen it for myself. I don’t have TikTok or any dating apps, but I’ve heard that some people are spamming homophobia on TikTok. As for Twitter, I only looked briefly, but I saw some Pridefall accounts there, as well as a lot of warnings and blocklists from people who are worried about it.

I’ve also heard that there have been a few Reddit and Discord raids, and that there is an Operation Pridefall Discord server (someone who spied on them says they have been banned on Discord as well as a platform called Riot before, so very few people are left on the Discord server now).

What do you think, Lia?

This is not coming from 4chan. No one on 4chan is interested anymore.

Most likely, people outside of 4chan heard about it and decided to take matters into their own hands.

The original 4chan thread wanted to make Pridefall “normie-palatable” by avoiding Nazi imagery or other overt unpleasantness, but I have seen a LOT of both on Instagram. This reinforces my belief that 4chan isn’t doing this.

A lot of the people behind this are young, or at least unsophisticated. Most of the Pridefall accounts on Instagram engage in very childish trolling, and one of them said they were a minor. Some of the threats I’ve seen are so outlandish that I can only imagine they came from a fairly young person.

My guess? Most of these people are around 13-19.

There are also very few of them and some of them probably have multiple accounts. Anti-Pridefall accounts outnumber them by far.

However, on Instagram I’ve seen Pridefall accounts following each other and commenting on each other’s posts, so there may be a few groups working together.

A lot of this shit is going to get deleted. I know Instagram is working through reports very slowly right now because they have fewer people available due to COVID-19, but most of the worst accounts I saw last night were deleted by this morning. I saw some more accounts deleted today.

Most, if not all, of these Pridefallers are just trying to scare us. Because they’re probably quite young, there’s very few of them, their accounts keep getting deleted, and law enforcement can track online activity, there is no way they have the balls or resources needed to coordinate major attacks.

There is a very, very slight chance this could spill over into real life, but as long as you practice basic online safety, you will be fine.

That being said, if you are threatened or doxxed by a Pridefall account, PLEASE contact the police. Better safe than sorry.

I do think that the threat of being doxxed or outed is more real than the threat of being attacked. I have already seen one Pridefall account who posted a trans boy’s address on Instagram (he is okay, he posted recently) and another who posted someone else’s address.

There is little chance this will last throughout Pride month. Apparently the goal is for Pridefall to worsen until the end of June, but given that this is most likely just some vastly outnumbered teenage trolls who are bored in quarantine, I seriously doubt they’ll be able to stay interested for a whole month.

This might not be as big on Tumblr. Tumblr is a lot more anonymous than, say, Instagram, which will hopefully deter would-be doxxers. It’s also known to be a highly liberal and queer-friendly site, so any Pridefaller with half a brain cell should know that A) their content is sure to be outnumbered and reported (only us Tumblr users know how bad staff is at deleting questionable stuff), and B) anyone with the original goal of “redpilling” is sure to fail here. Plus, I only remember seeing few, if any, mentions of Tumblr on Pridefall planning threads.

Still, expect to see some Pridefall activity here. Unsurprisingly, not all of these Pridefallers have half a brain cell. Some of them will definitely be unable to resist the lure of a community as openly queer as Tumblr, and we’ve all seen or heard about doxxing, harassment, gore, Nazis, and queerphobes on here. Also, 4chan has historically had some beef with Tumblr, so young teenage boys who idolize 4chan may target us for that reason.

How can I stay safe?

If you have any social media accounts where you A) have posted identifying personal information, and B) are openly supportive of the LGBTQ+ community (especially if you’re queer yourself), put them on private for June. Any other accounts are probably fine to stay public.

If you need a private Tumblr, you can make a password-protected secondary account and only share the password with mutuals you trust.

It is probably okay to be openly queer on a private account (e.g. have pronouns/rainbow emojis in your Instagram bio), since a private account is not likely to be doxxed. But if you want to be extra careful, remove queer identifiers from anything that is publicly visible.

Use Pridefall blocklists. They’re all over Instagram and Twitter. I may repost some here.

Report any Pridefall accounts you see. This is VERY important because this is how we can actually get rid of Pridefall content.

DON’T RESPOND TO ANY PRIDEFALLERS WHO PERSONALLY INTERACT WITH YOU. I know it’s tempting to give a snarky reply, but if they message you, comment on your post, etc, just block them. Seriously, don’t feed the trolls. It's exactly what they want.

Make sure your password game is strong. Use a different password for every site (I know, I know, it sucks), and use passwordmeter.com to test their strength. Write them all down on a piece of paper.

Make sure your username game is strong. Don’t use the same username for multiple sites, and avoid putting personal information in your username, such as your name or birthday.

Do NOT open random links!! Pridefallers could message you links that will give you viruses or track your IP address.

Don’t accept DMs or follows from people you don’t know. Pridefall accounts don’t always look like Pridefall accounts. Some of them are undercover.

Use a VPN. This is probably a little overkill unless you’re particularly at risk of being doxxed, but it will hide your IP address.

Be careful who you interact with. A lot of queer people on Instagram are DMing Pridefall accounts or commenting on their posts, but this could make you a target. As helpful as anti-Pridefall accounts are, you might even be targeted for following those.

Be wary of Pride tags. Unfortunately, a lot of Pridefall accounts plan to infiltrate tags commonly used by queer creators during Pride month. Use discretion when looking for queer content.

Be safe IRL. Lock your doors, lock your windows, be aware of your surroundings, don’t walk alone in poorly lit places, know basic self-defense, etc. Again, I absolutely do not think people will be attacked in real life, but you should be doing this shit all the time, not just in June. Thanks to COVID-19, you’re safer inside anyway!!

Make yourself hard to dox. Even though I have a very unusual first name (it's not really Lia), I am extremely hard to find online. I just went into an incognito browser window and searched my first and last name in quotation marks, but I didn’t find myself until page 4 of Google (and that result wasn’t even posted by me). I’m only half as careful as I could be, but here’s some of the things I do:

-I never use a picture of myself as my profile pic, except for Facebook and Instagram, which are both on the highest privacy settings possible.

-If I post identifying information on a public account (my college, my age, etc), I use a pseudonym or my first name only.

-On Instagram, I only use my first name, and I used special characters to type it, so you won’t find me if you search my name.

-On Facebook, I only accept friend requests from people I know. Most, if not all, of my Instagram followers are IRL friends, friends of IRL friends, and trusted Internet friends.

-If I’m really being paranoid, I’ll make a brand-new email account to sign up for a site. That way, my accounts aren’t all linked through one email address.

-Before I post a picture online, I delete the EXIF data with verexif.com, since EXIF data can hold GPS coordinates.

🌈 Stay safe, everyone.

You will not be harmed. You will be okay. Like cockroaches, we are survivors, and we will get through this!! ❤️🧡💛💚💙💜

-Mod Lia

[skekheck]

Theory: UrVa’s Arrows Were Originally Meant To Incapacitate, Not Kill, skekMal

Maybe this is common consensus, but it’s something I’ve been thinking about for a while. On the surface, it seemed like urVa had wanted to put an end to skekMal at the Circle of the Suns and the Hunter escaped before he could finish the job. But then there was this line in episode 10 that always felt odd to me:

urVa: I had a dream that I was one that became two that became one again. I looked through my dark half’s eyes and knew Aughra was right. [...] ...The Hunt must end. 

It’s just “but urVa, weren’t you doing just that a day or so prior?”. But then after rewatching their standoff again it hit me: maybe urVa’s intentions were not to kill skekMal but to incapacitate him.

Let’s look at the scene again

SkekMal was shot a total of three times: the first one through his upper arm, the second around the bottom right of his torso, and the last through his upper leg (possibly thigh?). 

(Sorry couldn’t find a better pic of his leg shot)

Weird places to aim for if urVa had wanted to kill him, right? Wouldn’t he have gone for targets that would more likely result in death, like the throat or through the eye sockets? It’s not like he would miss: urVa’s a master marksman. Instead, all three shots prevented (or at least was an attempt to stop) skekMal without taking his life.

The first shot prevented skekMal from harming Rian. The second was retaliation for ignoring the Archer’s warning. UrVa flat out told him to not approach the Gelfling but you see the Hunter take a step forward anyway, prompting him to release the second arrow. The final one was an attempt to stop skekMal from escaping with Brea. Seeing as how urVa immediately collapsed after firing that arrow, it would have worked. However, he underestimated how committed skekMal was to the Hunt, considering he pushed through the pain to get what he needed done.

Those arm and leg wounds aren’t inherently life-threatening. The arrow in his torso, though, is more concerning. It’s possible it could have had or at least be at risk of damaging his organs. Now, the Skeksis have weird-as-fuck anatomy (that goes without saying) so we have no real way of knowing if it was endangering him or not. But considering the nature of his other two wounds, I don’t think it was a kill shot. A more serious wound, but not deadly if tended to. And that’s probably what urVa intended: he aimed for that spot in the hopes skekMal would stop to take care of his wounds. 

But Weren’t Both skekMal and urVa In Critical Condition?

Oh yeah, they still were and skekMal’s partially to blame for it. It’s not a great idea to move around too much with arrows lodged in you. The arrow heads and shaft could move around and cause more internal damage. SkekMal moving made what would have been minor to moderate wounds way more serious. Not to mention, he never stopped to pull them out and heal himself: he kept those things in. 

And let’s not forget how far of a distance between the Circle of the Suns and the Castle is. There are multiple versions of maps of Thra that have some siginifcant differences, but the main point is those two locations are pretty far from each other. Even if he used Bennu to fly all the way over to the Castle, skekMal would still have to deal with Brea thrashing around on his back. And it looks like he took a detour to grab a cage for her, which he then dragged through the Castle’s corridors. Baiting Rian and his friends just so he can fulfill his Hunt was apparently more important to him than his well-being (which is ironic if you believe skekMal’s philosophy surrounding the Hunt is his own way of self-preservation).

EDIT: Wanted to add that skekMal was in a difficult position in terms of what he wanted. He would know that if he’d pull those arrows out he would have to treat them right away otherwise he’d bleed to death. At the same time, he would also had to keep Brea from escaping. I think he weighed his options and found that he’d had more success just pushing through it and keeping them in then treat them later. SkekMal might had also thought the other Skeksis would be able to treat him if it was serious enough? 

And SkekTek Made It Worse

SkekTek is no doctor. He can cut up and research on animals all he wants, but that doesn’t count as medical knowledge. It’s painfully obvious he has no idea what he’s doing: his diagnosis and treatment of skekMal’s condition is enough proof of that. And speaking of which, skekTek’s diagnosis is full of nonsense:

Skektek: Subject suffers severe exsanguination. Extreme distress to the humus. [...] Imbalance of intrinsic fluids. Manifold ruptures in corporeal morphology. [Checks for a heart beat] Ah. Ah... . Expiration... is... [dramatic pause] inevitable.

Literally he’s saying skekMal has multiple holes in his body and he’s bleeding out. You know, pointing out the obvious. Also, I tried finding out if “humus” related to anything biologically, but all I could find was it’s a term for... soil made of organic matter. I’m not sure what he was trying to refer to, I think he was just misusing it to make himself sound smart.

EDIT: I have been told by a few people that skekTek might be referring the humerus, which is a bone found in the upperarm that’s forms joints at the elbow and shoulder. This would make more sense and would mean skekTek made a proper diagnosis. However, at least to me, it still sounds like he’s saying humus. Another skeksis repeats him and they also say humus, not humerus. Turning on the captions also has it as humus. This could either be a typo or skekTek did mean humerus, but said humus instead. 

And how he actually treats skekMal is atrocious. 

He pulls the arrows out without making any attempts to stop the bleeding, clean the wounds, or apply stitches. He’s letting him bleed out and he should at least know they need blood to live. Do you know what happens when someone loses too much blood? Among other side effects, organ failure and falling into a coma. SkekTek did eventually made an effort to heal skekMal by giving him essence, but it was too little too late. SkekMal’s condition was so far gone at that point he really needed Aughra’s essence to survive.

UrVa’s Intentions

And now we’re going right back to urVa. While thinking over on urVa’s actions, I started wondering if he anticipated skekMal wouldn’t stay put and that the Hunter would do his own self in by moving around with the arrows lodged in him. I mean, urVa is a mystic, an indirect kill would make sense. But giving it more thought, I don’t think that’s the case. A lot of his actions during the series suggests otherwise. 

UrVa was very contemplative, even saddened, about having to end the Hunt for skekMal. He is not like his other half: he respected and appreciated all life on Thra. He also sees the cycle of life as well as the wilderness as something untamable. This is implied while he was talking with Aughra in episode 4:

urVa: We do not get to decide when our part in the song is finished.

While urVa is one of the more proactive Mystics, he still is... a Mystic. He doesn’t believe he should manipulate or control what goes on around him and let things be. The Bestiary book points to the fact that while urVa did keep tabs on skekMal, he never interfered with his hunts. So it was a big deal when Aughra quested him with the task of stopping skekMal. 

Also I’d like to point out urVa and Aughra’s final conversation because it’s also important for this discussion:

urVa; And where does my path lead? Aughra: Into the sands to face the Hunter. urVa: [sighing and looks away from Aughra for a moment] I cannot defeat my dark half. Aughra: You will find a way. But not without sacrifice.  urVa: And if I fail? Aughra: The heroes of Thra will be lost. urVa: Mm... [pauses and takes a deep breath] I will end the hunt. Aughra: Good. Get a move on. You Mystics are not known for your swift speed. We have much to do. [...] urVa: [pauses and looks at Aughra] Will we meet again, Aughra? Aughra: [stops walking, saddened] Hm... [faces him] Some things... even Aughra cannot see, old friend.  [urVa pauses and then groans, walks away from Aughra as they both parted ways for the final time]

He shows a lot of hesitance in completing this task. I’m sure he knew what Aughra was implying: that he may have to take skekMal’s life away but he still went and asked if they would meet each other again anyway. I think he was hoping for a positive answer, that it wouldn’t have to come to that, and seemed disheartened by her answer. But he still tried. He tried to stop skekMal in a way that, while not exactly peaceful, was not meant to be life-threatening. UrVa even pleads for him to stop... twice! The first time as skekMal was making his get-away and the second time while urVa helplessly watched him go after Rian again through the Hunter’s eyes. 

These two only had one scene together so we don’t really know the extent of their relationship. But if there’s one thing that’s clear was the conflict between them. I mean, during their whole duel, the characters were purposely placed on opposite sides of the room while making sure to show that skekGra and urGoh, a pair who were able to find harmony, were always side by side. It’s also in the way they address each other: while urVa does refer to him as his dark half, he also called him by his name. SkekMal, meanwhile, only ever referred to urVa as his title and nothing more. 

But I don’t think urVa had any ill-will towards his Skeksis. He seemed understanding of him and valued his life as much as he valued all living beings on Thra. I think if they both didn’t end up in a near-death situation, he’d try incapacitating skekMal again. However he understood and accepted his situation towards the end: with skekMal on an essence high, incapacitation method was no longer possible. If he allowed it to go on, all of Thra would be at risk. It was a desperate situation, but he knew Aughra was right. She gave up her life for the preservation of the world and urVa knew he had to do the same: for her and for Thra. The Hunt had to end and in order to protect the world he cherished he had to make the ultimate sacrifice. 

[whatiwillsay]

off topic - let’s talk about gaylena 👀

selena gomez is one of taylor’s oldest and bestest friends and given that she is in the 22 liner notes, a huge part of taylor’s life, and maybe fruity herself it seems like possibly we don’t talk about her here at the blog enough!

i don’t want to do a timeline of selena and taylor’s friendship - you can read more about that here, but they met back in the day when they were both dating jonas brothers and to me this idea of finding a real friendship in the midst of these contrived promances is pretty adorable.

ofc most of y’all think taylor is a fruit basket but i think there’s a good chance that selena is too!  i’m not saying she is for sure but y’all know me.  i’’m here to make a compelling case that everyone and their dog is gay so let’s gooooo! 

Part I - At least one fake rs!  

Selena “dated” Taylor Lautner in 2009 and he’s definitely gay.  Of course, that doesn’t mean she is, it could just be PR, but y’all know I gotta note everything!  We stan our fruity bffs dating the same gays 😍

Part II - Selena x cara delevingne

i feel like there’s a chance they met through taylor but everyone in that squad adjacent circle knows one another.  cara dated michelle rodriguez for the first half of 2014 and then got with annie clark in March 2015 but it feels like it’s possible something has gone on between her and Selena from summer 2014 - early 2015? ...maybe something casual on and off a bit?

August 2014 - Steamy pics surface in Saint-Tropez, France

Selena and and a freshly single Cara vacation together in part to celebrate Selena’s 22nd birthday.

They party together and look cozy!

Pictures such as this surface and spark rumors around the two:

Selena apparently loves the rumors and gushes about being shipped with Cara.

Quote:

You say Selena drag queens were the true measure of success for you. But isn’t it true that you’re not truly famous until you’ve been the subject of a gay rumor? And last year, the tabloids had a field day with photos of you and Cara Delevingne. I’ve made it!

How did you react to those rumors? Honestly, I loved it. I didn’t mind it. Especially because they weren’t talking about other people in my life for once, which was wonderful. Honestly, though, she’s incredible and very open and she just makes me open. She’s so fun and she’s just extremely adventurous, and sometimes I just want that in my life, so I didn’t mind it. I loved it.

Notice she doesn’t deny them?  Now of course she could just be being cool, if she freaked out about it that might be even weirder but hey, it’s still kind of interesting.

Then she admits to questioning her sexuality???

Have you ever questioned your sexuality? Oh, I think everybody does, no matter who they are. I do, yeah, of course. Absolutely. I think it’s healthy to gain a perspective on who you are deep down, question yourself and challenge yourself; it’s important to do that.

(Selena btw, this is cool and all, but not everybody questions their sexuality, maybe you’re just gay 👀)

November 1 - LACMA Art + Film Gala 

they even left the event together 👀

and they hung out earlier that day as well:

They were seen the next day partying for Kendall Jenner’s bday singing to her:

a few weeks later Cara tweets Selena’s lyrics!

In December 2014 they are travelling together in texas:

in january 2015 they get cozy at the golden globes together!

and they leave together again:

January 19th/20th a bunch of gay nonsense happens

They post this gay shit with matching shoes and linked fingers:

then they say this to one another:

Enty says they were hooking up!

then we don’t get any more content that i can find for about six months! perhaps they had a fling from summer 2014-jan 2015 and then it ends, Cara gets with Annie in March?  Then after half a year apart Selena and Cara resume a friendly relationship?  Perhaps!  Selena is seen with Justin a bit off and on during this time but this was in their Style/Heat Death Era imo (tbh i probably shouldn’t give a hetty pairing including Justin that designation 🤢but y’all get what I’m saying - it’s fully possible Selena was hooking up with both of them!

Now I’m not super familiar with Selena’s discography so y’all lmk if I’m missing anything major - lyric wise that point to her not being straight.

Selena’s album Revival that comes out after this relationship has a few songs with some vibes, even though I get the feeling a lot of it is probably about Justin, allow me to reach.  The title track could be translated as someone coming to terms with their sexuality (among other things):

I feel like I've awakened lately The chains around me are finally breaking I've been under self-restoration I've become my own salvation Showing up, no more hiding, hiding The light inside me is bursting, shining It's my, my, my time to butterfly

Good for you, imo, is too sexy to be about a man even if it’s not super queer lyrically it’s a vibe ok?

Me & My Girls might be a bestie anthem a la 22 (oh wait, no 22 was gay too) but I mean...could be about a girl gang of lesbians too!

And if we want it, we take it If we need money, we make it Nobody knows if we fake it You like to watch while we shake it I know we're making you thirsty You want us all in the worst way But you don't understand I don't need a man 

Quinn Fabray indeed!

Nobody feels probably like a retrospective on Justin 🙄but...there is a hint of sapphic craving in there!  Saying this particular lover loves them differently than everyone is a bit 👀 plus this stanza:

No oxygen, can barely breathe My darkest sin, you've raised release And it's all because of you, all because of you And I don't know what it is, but you've pulled me in No one compares, could ever begin To love me like you do And I wouldn't want them to

Is Perfect about some bitch Justin started dating?  Probably but bear with me here this song is actually pretty fucking gay.  Gay enough that I’m gonna add it to one of my gay playlists.  Could this song actually be about Cara moving on to Annie?

Ooh, and I bet she has it all Bet she's beautiful like you, like you And I bet she's got that touch Makes you fall in love, like you, like you

I can taste her lipstick and see her laying across your chest I can feel the distance every time you remember her fingertips Maybe I should be more like her Maybe I should be more like her I can taste her lipstick, it's like I'm kissing her, too And she's perfect And she's perfect

Part III - Selena x Julia Michaels

Julia Michaels is a singer/songwriter known for her song Issues.  I don’t know her sexuality but she at the least has gay vibes!  It seems they met around this time perhaps because Julia wrote on Revival.

They have a friendly enough friendship for a few years, liking one another’s posts on IG from time to time, posing for a photo a time or two and then they seem to get swept up into this very intense friendship in 2019.  They write some music together and Julia goes whole hog in promoting the shoe brand Selena is hawking this time 😭

2019 - The Superior Sapphic Jelena Timeline:

It starts, for some reason with a lot of shoe promotion:

chill, chill

more shoes

but more gayness?

this homo shit

ok...

Then we go into the REALLY GAY NOVEMBER OF 2019:

Then they perform together:

And...actually kiss...on the mouth on stage???

Sure it’s just a peck but still...if that were a guy people would say they were dating.  

Somehow kissing on the mouth isn’t the gayest thing these girls do over this period because these fucking dykes got matching tattoos.  I’ve read enough Larry blogs to know this actually means they’re secretly married.  All jokes aside this is fruity behavior. 

From their IG stories:

Selena gets Julia a very nice christmas gift:

Covid sets in and content drops off but god damn!  It’s possible they just had an intense friendship but if a man and a woman collabed on music together, kissed in public, and got matching tattoos everyone would say they were dating!

Selena, as far as I can find, didn’t have any public boyfriends around this time so who are some of these love songs about?

Rare comes out in January 2020 and perhaps has some gayish songs?

Don’t tell me why but boyfriend lowkey, has a gay vibe.  Don’t ask me to explain it but it’s just the musicality of it.

Crowded Room could be a love song for Julia?  (or by Julia for Selena, since they’re collaborators?)

Baby, it's just me and you Baby, it's just me and you Just us two Even in a crowded room Baby, it's just me and you, yeah

These are general gay vibes, our secret moments in a crowded room tease

It started polite, out on thin ice 'Til you came over to break it I threw you a line and you were mine

It would have started out polite between them, since they worked together for years before whatever 2019 was happened.  And throwing someone a line first of all makes Selena sound like the aggressor but also “throwing someone a line” could be a reference to writing songs together.

Yeah, I was afraid, but you made it safe I guess that is our combination Said you feel lost, well, so do I So won't you call me in the morning? I think that you should call me in the morning If you feel the same, 'cause

Lots of people are afraid at the beginning of a gay rs.  Treacherous tease 👀

In summation!

Selena does gay stuff like fantasizing ab kissing other women in her music, getting very touchy with famous dykes on vacay, hangs out with Taylor Swift, has chronic mental health issues, dated a jonas brother and a twilight gay, has admitted to questioning her sexuality, and loves being shipped with women.  Is she gay?  I don’t know!   But all she’s missing from her celesbian bingo card is a suspiciously intense friendship with a Glee Cast member! What do you guys think?  Selena fruity or just weird?

Edit to add: so apparently I missed an entire ship and Selena supposedly acted really gay all the time with her backup dancer Charity Baroni.  Exposing SMG has posted a lot about all that.

Also Selena has been cast in a gay role! edit to add: @bisluthq went and found this for me - julia is indeed a fruit queen

[melmac78]

Care taking prompt: Gordon bandaging/stitching up Scott’s wounds?

Story injury maker is based on this green machine. The other item on right is an old icebox, aka refrigerator.

I wish I had a pic of a fully intact one, but the one I saw at the Trade Days yesterday that was restored is too small for the story. They’re fairly uncommon now, and wanted a reference for readers who may have never seen one.

For the record, I remember these being around in places as late as early 1990s. The few around now are also repurposed. Hope you enjoy:

••••••

“This is embarrassing.”

"I know Scott..." said Gordon as he assisted his oldest brother in Thunderbird Two's bay.

Scott shook his head. "No, more than embarrassing - this is ridiculous. I knew smoking could be bad for your health, but..."

Any thoughts were cut off with a sharp hiss when Gordon situated his brother onto a cot in the Sickbay to assess the injury.

The aquanaut scoffed slightly. "Second hand cigarette pack vending machines are even worse," he finished with a smirk as he started cutting away the neoprene around his brother's left calf.

Scott rolled his eyes at the bad joke. Thunderbirds one and two had to go to a rescue at a retro restaurant created by Francois Lemaire.

The restaurant was the peak of sophistication - two stories tall, featuring a variety of antiques from the 1950s to '70s.

A work of art for the high class tastes - including dinner.

Unfortunately for International Rescue - Lemaire didn't pay attention to the fact it was on top of a well known faultline, and Mother Nature showed her displeasure flatening the building with an earthquake.

The brothers were successful in rescuing everyone alive - albeit a few with injuries severe enough to require hospitalization.

Scott had finished helping Madeline, the last person inside, out of a pile of debris when an aftershock hit.

He protected her safely, but a broken cigarette vending machine fell on him.

Fortunately, the machine landed in a way it didn't crush his leg.

Unfortunately for Scott, the machine's glass window broke, slicing a 3 inch long gash in his calf.

After a bit of a struggle with the machine, freeing Scott's ankle from the slats that once stored cartons, Gordon and Madeline helped the eldest Tracy outside.

Madeline left with a couple of paramedics for a checkup.

Gordon and Scott ended up in TB2, thankful for once Francois elected to pay more attention how he nearly lost his wife than pester the Tracys.

Scott shook his head at the memory. "Seriously, how in the he... heck did Lemaire find one of those monstrosities?" he pondered outloud, before hissing l at Gordon's ministrations.

The aquanaut shrugged. "Don't know - but some folks years ago when the machines were made illegal to vend cigarettes bought then turned them into miniature art dispensers. Get a few more dollars selling postcard sized art,” he said, then whistled. "Yep. You're gonna need stitches, but you're in luck, you have the best stitcher in the world.

Scott was more concerned when he saw his brother put the needle in the ampoule for a local anesthetic. *oh no,* he thought, and paled slightly. "That's Virgil... I can wait a few minutes," he said.

"Yeah... I know he's the best, but they still need the jaws to move away that life sized replica of the Beatle’s Yellow Submarine blocking the main road," said Gordon as he tapped out the air bubbles out.

”Seriously Gords… I can wait…” said Scott, swallowing hard as the shot glistened. *Not now, not with Gordon present...* He thought, but he knew the signs. He felt light, had a feeling of dread, compounded with old memories...

To his dismay, his brother didn’t listen. “No you can’t. It’s a deep gash, and Virgil will have both our hides if you pass out from blood loss,” said the blonde bluntly.

He then turned back. "Now lie back Sc...."

The aquanaut froze slightly when he saw Scott staring at the needle, pale as a sheet and start to sway. "Scott..." he said warily, only to see his brother's eyes go blank and he listed to the side.

“Woah!” Gordon immediately caught his brother before he fell off the cot. He put the shot down and assisted his older brother flat onto his back. "Easy there bro," he said gently to the eldest as Scott started to come back around.

"'M fine..." said Scott muzzily.

"Sure, and that cigarette machine hit you with feathers," teased the younger man as he checked his brother's pulse. He sighed in relief to hear the older man snort in disgust, and once satisfied Scott wasn’t going to fall out on him, continued. "Blood or needle?"

"Huh?"

"Which one made you faint?”

“I did not…”

“Scott, seriously, you did: briefly” said Gordon gently. Seeing Scott wince in embarrassment, and pain, The aquanaut continued. “I’m not going to make fun - promise, but I need to know the cause because I'd rather like to know how to help.”

The eldest gave a faint blush. "Needle," he said. "Can give shots no problem, but..."

Gordon gave a half smile. "Getting them isn't such?" he said, and Scott nodded.

“Bad doctor checkup when I was in first grade. Complete accident, but gave me nightmares and a lasting fear. Virgil remembered my blackout back then though…”

"So that's why you'd rather Virgil help when you’re hurt? Didn't want us to know of a phobia?"

The raven haired man nodded reluctantly. "Yeah, don't know what's more embarrassing - getting cut by an antique cancer stick machine or fainting from a shot," said Scott, expecting a tease.

He was thankful he was lying down for what came next.

"Neither," chided Gordon.

“Huh?”

"Seriously there's nothing wrong with accidents or fears - besides a potential medical worry."

A confused Scott started to open his mouth as the younger man continued. "But there will be another one if I don't start stitching this, so stay laying down," Gordon said, pulling out a small stuffed toy and putting it in Scott's hands. "This should help."

Scott took the item in his hand and looked at it. "A sea turtle plushie," he stated perplexed, looking at the item. It was about 3 inches long, two inches wide with a swirly tie-dye printed shell. "Never seen this before.”

“I know, I keep Surfer in my baldric most of the time.”

“Ok… but what is, um ‘Surfer’ for?"

Gordon chuckled. "To keep people distracted, and I see that he worked his charms again," he said. Seeing his brother's confusion, he continued. "Gave you the shot - should numb your leg in a couple of minutes.”

Scott chuckled in relief. It was a distraction all right as he traced a pattern on the toy. “So, where did he come from?”

The aquanaut then paused for thought, growing a bit more somber. "I got it from Penny and Parker shortly after the Chaos Crew put me in the hospital."

Scott tilted his head, curious for more as Gordon checked his brother's leg.

Finding it was numbed - Scott was not reacting, started stitching the wound.

The aquanaut, sensing his brother's persistent look wanting for more, continued. "I never told any of you this - but I have a vague memory of coming to in my 'Bird and something sharp cutting through my broken arm."

“But nothing pierced your uniform,” said Scott, remembering the day his brother was lying unconscious in the bed he was now using. He was thankful though: based on what few photos EOS captured of the rescue, some items came too close to finishing the Chaos Crew’s job.

Scott shook off the memory, and saw the aquanaut nod as he started another stitch. "Yeah, I know that now - it was the actual break, but I think in my semiconscious state, I thought it was a knife stabbing me in the crook," he said. "The memory stuck so badly in my head that during a simple blood test in the hospital I fainted."

“Now hold up... they didn’t say you...”

"Well, I am adult you know: doctor/patient confidentiality. Especially as you are a bad enough smother hen without more fuel,” he said, and seeing Scott’s unimpressed look, continued. “Penny and Parker unfortunately were visiting when that spell occurred.

“I was embarrassed - thought when they came back Parker would tease me and Penny do her polite ignoring it,” the aquanaut continued, starting on the last stitch. “But, to my surprise, they gave me the turtle. Said if I ever was in pain or having issues with a shot, hold it, and know that there were people who loved you no matter your faults. Didn’t have a repeat then or since."

Scott started seeing where this story was going. "So you don't see my phobia as a fault?" he inquired.

"No Scott. You're human, like all of us, just sometimes you need a reminder," he said as he finished tying the last knot and started to bandage the stitches. "Personally, I think as ‘Surfer’ worked for you, as you didn't feel that shot, or flinch once from the stitches, maybe you should consider your own.”

Scott was about to speak when Virgil contacted them, saying he was returning back to the Thunderbird and that John was remote piloting One back to base.

"John better not ding my ‘Bird. That'd be worse than fainting and being cut up by a cigarette machine," said Scott, distracted from the talk about plushies.

Gordon chuckled. "At least Virgil isn't considering taking Thunderbird One and converting it to a miniature art dispensing machine. He talked about buying Lemaire’s… but I think it’s to scrap it into a weird recycled art sculpture after cutting you. Double when he eyed the icebox," he said, then laughed more when Scott rolled his eyes. "Now, lie back and rest. I'll stay here and keep you company so Virgil doesn't be a Smother Rooster."

"Papa bear," corrected Scott.

"OK, papa bear ... but same reason," he said, then grew sober, as he tapped the turtle, which Scott handed back. "And Scott, just remember, two things: 1. I won't tell anyone else about your phobia, and 2. Even if the others find out, we'll always love you - warts and all."

The eldest nodded and let himself relax into the comfort of the bed as Virgil flew them back back to Tracy Island...

When he later on woke up safe and sound in the Island's infirmary, brought there to double check the stitches and ensure no infection, he found his left hand was resting on something soft, and fluffy.

Picking it up, he found it was a tie dyed octopus. Just the right size to put in his baldric... just in case.

"Thanks Gordon," he said, smiling.

[jenonctcity]

No Nut November - Jaemin

Na Jaemin – Smut, Crack, Fluff

Warnings: Explicit content, a lot of mentions of penis’s, dirty talk, brief spanking, oral (male receiving).

Word Count: 3k

Summary: 00’s line take part in No Nut November.

The Rules of No Nut November:

You cannot have sex, masturbate, or nut in any way, shape, or form.

Watching pornography and having boners are allowed, but you can’t nut.

You are only allowed one wet dream. If you have more than one, then consider yourself out.

You do not have 3 strikes; you only have one shot at it. If you miss it, you’re out.

 If you have passed the month with a total of 0 nuts, you are a victor and you shall qualify for Destroy Dick December (Not Recommended).

Look man, just don’t nut in 30 days. 

Series

 Day 1:

Jaemin had made it very clear to you a week before the month changed to November, that he had every intention of doing no nut November. The week building up to it you had been pinned to whatever surface Jaemin had deemed fit and had been fucked hard. It was the best week of your sexual activity that you’d ever experienced, so you were kind of happy he was going to take part in the strange internet trend. You also knew once the month was over that he would go into a sex crazed state and give you a performance good enough to rival his last show.

However, it wasn’t you that you were worried about not being able to last the entire month. You were certain that Jaemin could not go a whole month without trying to get into your pants. You knew your boyfriend well enough to know that he had a very high sex drive, leading him to asking you for sex nearly every time he saw you. It didn’t help that he was the master of flirting. It made it easy for him to charm your underwear off your body. He had a knack for sending you dirty texts that were filthy enough for your face to heat up in want and slight embarrassment. He once sent you a dick pic that your friend was absolutely mortified to have seen by accident when you opened the text, not having expected him to send pictures of his meat in the middle of the day.

As you stood in your local book store, enjoying the peace and quiet it bestowed upon you, you browsed the fiction section, hoping to find a book about a hopeless romance that ended in heartbreak or a forever love, your phone buzzed in your pocket. It caused you to jump a little but luckily, you’d remembered to put your phone on silent before entering the book shop. You pulled it from your pocket and smiled softly when you saw the contact name said ‘Nana’.

“I miss you :(” his text read, your smile widening at his adorable use of the sad face emoji. You wondered if his text had a hidden meaning or not but decided it probably didn’t because it had only been about half day since he last got his dick wet. You took your time to reply, typing with one thumb as you glanced between your phone and the bookshelf in front of you.

“You saw me about 4 hours ago, I was naked in your bed. Remember?” You replied with a soft giggle, not even surprised when his reply came less than 20 seconds later.

“I remember well! ;) But do you not miss me?” You could almost hear the pout he was more than likely sporting through the words written on your screen. You smirked, trying to suppress a giggle as you replied.

“No.” You quickly followed up with another text. “Just kidding, love you boo.”

“Ouch. My heart bleeds.”

“How are you holding up? Not touched your precious pleasure rod yet have you?” You couldn’t help but ask, curiosity getting the best of you.

“First of all, ew, never call Jaemin Junior a pleasure rod ever again. Secondly, no I haven’t touched it yet! Have some faith in me!”

“Ew since when have you referred to it as Jaemin Junior?”

“Since now, actually I hadn’t even thought about anything sexual until you brought it up you perv!” You sniggered, rolling your eyes and leaving him on read as you went back to scouring the shelf for the book you desired.

 Day 2:

“Hey babe…” Jaemin patted your thigh, trying to gain your attention as you sat beside him in a taxi. You were on the way to a movie theatre and decided a taxi was the best way to avoid the downpour of rain hitting the earth forcefully.

“Yeah?” You tore your line of sight away from staring out of the window to look at him.

“Have you got any nudes on your phone?” He leaned in close, his lips beside your ear as he whispered lowly to make sure the driver didn’t hear him.

“Na Jaemin!” You whisper-shouted at him, not believing the audacity he had to ask you that in the back of a taxi.

“Please baby just give me your phone and I’ll find them myself.” He whined, holding his hand out to your expectantly.

“No!” You slapped his hand away, watching the way his lips turned into an endearing pout.

“Please…I can’t remember what your body looks like…” You shoot him a disapproving glare, shaking your head slowly at him.

“No!”

“Fine!” He turned away, folding his arms over his chest and pretending to throw a tantrum. He didn’t ask again but later on you did send him a cheeky booty pic, much to his excitement.

 Day 5:

The hot rivets of water hit your skin and ran down the contorts of your body, leaving a warm sensation flooding through your system. The water had no competition against Jaemin’s soft lips peppering open mouthed kisses across the back of your neck. The plush pillows sending cool shivers down your spin, a complete contrast to how hot your body felt.

“I want you so bad baby girl.” He murmured, his words almost getting lost amongst the noise of the water hitting all the surfaces of the shower. You hummed in acknowledgment, his hands wrapping around your from behind, fingers teasing you on their ascent to your breasts. “Let me make you feel good.” His big hands cupped your soft boobs, thumbs and forefingers each pinching your hardened nipples. A bolt of pleasure shot through you, it rippling down your body from your chest to your neglected clit. You became putty in his hands, him pulling your flat against his chest and gyrating his hips into yours enough for you to feel the prominent erection he’d formed.

A sudden reminder popped into your head. A reminder that Jaemin was supposed to be participating in no nut November. You rolled your eyes, pulling away from his grasp – although somewhat reluctantly, and turning to face him.

“I knew you’d try to fuck me before the end of the month.” You smirked at him, moving your hands up to cup his cheeks and pecking the gobsmacked look off of his lips with your own. He struggled to form words, his mouth opening and closing as he stared down at your smug face. “You’re weak Na Jaemin.” You whispered, leaning in and taking his lips between your own in a lingering, steaming kiss, the water running over your heads as you got in the line of the water streaming from the shower head. His arms looped around your torso, pulling you against him and holding your naked bodies together.

“I’m not weak.” He whispered into the kiss, his tongue poking out and trailing over the lining of your lips before working its way into your mouth. He flicked his tongue against your own, rolling his hips into yours and moving his hands down to squeeze your ass. He moved his lips down your face, to your jaw and nipping at your wet skin.

“You’re still trying to-” Your words were cut off by a moan slipping from your parted lips, his perfect mouth sucking right on the spot he knew would make your knees shake.

“Let me treat you.” He spun you around, forcing you up against the wall of the shower, bent slightly and presenting your ass out to him. You bit your bottom lip, spreading your legs apart enough to give him access to your dripping heat. He trailed his fingertips down your spine, the slight tickle causing shudders to shoot across your nerves. He ran the palm of his hand over the curve of your ass cheeks, removing it only to bring it down on your skin with a slap. You gasped in surprise, relaxing as he spanked you once more before jamming a finger inside your slick hole. “So wet for me baby girl, do you like it when I spank you?” He used his free hand to bring it down on your ass once more before leaning that hand on the shower wall and putting all his weight on it, his body hovering over yours.

“Yeah…oh god.” You moaned, rutting your hips back into his hand. He slowly withdrew his finger, circling your sodden hole with the tip of his finger before ramming it back inside of you, pumping it slowly to loosen you up. He added another finger, his lips attaching themselves onto your shoulder. He smirked when you whined against the cold shower wall, the warm water cascading down onto your body, but it was the warmth you felt from Jaemin that was making you overwhelmed.

“You want me to fuck you with my fingers harder?” He bit at the skin of your shoulder, maintaining the slow pace with his fingers. “Answer me.” He growled, stopping his fingers altogether at your silence.

“Yeah! Fuck me hard!” You whimpered at the loss of stimulation, wiggling your hips as an incentive for him to continue.

“As you please princess.” He smirked, thrusting his digits back into you hard and fast. The hand he was using to hold himself up on the wall moving to cup your breast in his hand. His fingers working over your sensitive nipple causing your eyes to roll into the back of your head.

“Jaemin!” You squeaked, your head lolling back onto his shoulder as the knot tightened in your stomach. “Right there don’t stop!” A gasp ripped from your chest, his teeth biting into your shoulder enough to leave teeth marks behind as the white-hot feeling rushed through your body, your climax hitting suddenly. Your chest rose and fell as you tried to catch your breath, your legs shaking and hips stuttering as he stopped his ministrations on your core.

“That’s my girl.” He gently kissed the bruise he’d made on your shoulder, withdrawing his fingers from you and opting to enclose his mouth around his dripping digits. He sucked them clean, dropping his eye into a wink and turning his back to you to wash his hair, his hard on being left unattended to, much to your surprise.

 Day 7:

So far, so good. To your knowledge, Jaemin had managed to not touch his penis in any sexual way at all, which again, had shocked you. You’d assumed he wouldn’t make even 3 days, so him having lasted a week actually impressed you. Despite many close calls, Jaemin had reigned in the hormones and want for you, simply keeping it in his pants, or by pulling away during your steamy session in the shower days prior. About an hour ago, Jaemin had fallen asleep on your bed, even though you’d both planned on walking down the local convenience store to buy snacks for the evening. Not wanting to disturb him because his sleeping face made your heart warm, you’d decided to go on your own and leave him to nap. Choosing not to rush, you’d taken your time in getting the snacks, and stealthily entered your apartment silently in case Jaemin was still sleeping. You’d dumped the snacks on the kitchen counter, and slowly creeped towards your bedroom. You raised an eyebrow in confusion when you heard weird noises emitting from the room. You held your ear to the door, listening as realization dawned on you, causing you to gasp loudly.

“Na Jaemin!” You burst into the room, pointing at him accusingly. “You’re watching porn!!!” He looked like a deer caught in the headlights, his eyes wide and arms folded across his chest. You paused, about to accuse him of losing no nut November when you noticed he wasn’t touching himself inappropriately. “You’re…erm…are you watching porn for the plot?” You glanced at the television opposite your bed, the scandalous video of a girl having a cock shoved down her throat greeting your eyes.

“Kinda…” He shrugged, grabbing the remote and shutting off the power.

“You’re so strange…” You both looked at each other, waiting for the other to make the first move.

“I was bored, and I missed it!” He defended himself, watching your every move as you slinked closer to the bed, a seductive look gleaming in your eye. You’d had enough of this stupid no nut November thing, deciding once and for all the test his resolve. “What are you doing…?” He asked suspiciously when you clambered onto the bed, throwing your leg over his own and sitting just above his knees on his outstretched legs.

“Oh nothing…” You bit your bottom lip alluringly, his eyes watching your hands as they slowly peeled down his jogging bottoms. “Lift your hips like a good boy yeah?” You winked, his hips lifting automatically to your order. You pulled his joggers down, his boxers coming down with them. His hard cock sprang up to his t-shirt, your eyes zoning in on it like a predator hunting its prey. You pushed his t-shirt up, exposing his defined abs and smirking as a bead of pre-cum oozed from the tip onto his stomach.

“Hey…don’t touch that penis missy.” He spoke with a dominating tone, you giggled, raising an eyebrow challengingly at him.

“Or what?”

“Or I lose no nut November!” He gulped, sighing and leaning his head back onto the soft pillow of your bed. “Fine. Touch it.”

“Yay!” You gripped his cock at the base, pulling it so it stood upright. Your touch took his breath away, a week proving to be too long for the absence of having his dick touched in a sexual manner. This is what he’d been craving since the he’d decided to take on this stupid challenge, and he knew he couldn’t last out long. You held eye contact with him, leaning down to rest the head of his cock on your bottom lip. “Tell me what you want.” He wasn’t used to this amount of dominance from you, it causing a firework of pleasure to burst inside his stomach.

“Suck my cock baby girl, make me cum.” You poked your tongue out, kitten licking another drop of pre-cum that spilled. The bitter taste didn’t bother you, and you actually enjoyed giving your boyfriend blowjobs, knowing a lot of your friends had different opinions on giving head. “Hurry.” His own dominance shone through, challenging your own and giving you the sensation of needing to comply to him. You fluttered your eyelashes at him, taking the head of his cock between your lips and sucking gently. “Oh fuck.” He wanted to bend his knees, but you were caging them underneath your body, restricting his movement. His fingers found their way into your hair, gripping at it gently. Without any warning, you took all of his hard length into your mouth, sucking harshly and bobbing your head up and down in perfect rhythm. Puffs of air left his parted lips as he tried to cope with the pleasure coursing through his cock, his toes curling in response.

You pulled off to wipe at your mouth, spit forming in the corners of your lips. You leaned forward, placing soft kisses on his abs and slowly trailing them back down to his red, leaking cock awaiting the presence of your warm mouth. You take him back in your mouth, making sure to stare into his soul as your drag your lips down his shaft and back up against tauntingly, letting your lips leave the tip with a pop. You use your hand to pump him fast, biting your bottom lip as his stomach starts to flex. He whimpered, squirming on the bed before letting out a loud grunt, his grip on your hair tugging harshly as he came. You’d opened your mouth in perfect time, white ribbons coating your tongue and lips.

“Fuck you look hot covered in my cum.” He panted, watching as you closed your mouth and made a point to lick your lips provocatively in front of him. “You’re a dirty girl.” He spoke lowly, a smirk tugging at the corner of his lips as he caught his breath. You let go of his cock, letting it flop to the side without cause. “Also, fuck you! I was doing great at no nut November and you just had to ruin it didn’t you!” After the bliss of his orgasm wore off, he sat up, pushing you onto your back against the bed. You squeaked in surprise, suddenly the ceiling being all you could see until Jaemin came into your view, his body hovering over your own.

“Punish me then.” Winking at him to rile him up, you trailed a hand over your own body, squeezing your boob over your clothes and grinning cheekily at him. “Do your worst.”

“You’re in for a long night baby girl.” He smirked his famous smirk at you, immediately diving in to suck at the crook of you neck. 

No Nut November: Na Jaemin - Fail.

(A/N: Hello! Thank you so much to everyone whose liked/reblogged/commented and messaged me about this series. It’s been a wild ride and I’m overwhelmed from the love its gotten! Anyway, I hope you enjoyed it, please let me know what you thought of the series as a whole and whether you’d like me to do Destroy Dick December!)

[turbulentt]

Sweet Little Thing

genre: smut | yeosang x fem!reader

word count: 3.1k

warnings: explicit content, unprotected sex, oral (female receiving), praise kink

event: valentine’s day prompt ask by @svt-mangos

summary: a new bakery opens at your city and you find yourself mesmerized by how amazing their cakes are, yet it’s their waiter, kang yeosang, who catches your eye first.

It was your first time going to that bakery. It had just recently opened and some of your friends told you how amazing their desserts were, you just had to try them. The looks attracted you right away. All the colors, smells, sizes. You felt like entering a wonderland. 

“Don’t just stand there.” the waiter giggled beside you “Order something.”

“But they’re so many. I can’t choose.” you drew closer to the cake showcase and hummed in confusion.

“Let me help then. Go for the strawberry angel food cake.” he points at the sugary pink cake “It’s really sweet. I think it goes well with you.”

For the first time, you look at him, in surprise by his flirt. Time seemed to stop when you locked eyes with each other. Maybe you did enter wonderland. Do wonderlands have princes? Well, this one had, and he was standing right there before you.

“Do… Do you want it?” he asked, not so flirty nor confident this time. “Want what?” you bluntly responded, not paying the minimum attention. “The cake. Do you want to taste that cake?”

“Oh, the cake right.” you free yourself from the thoughts and smile awkwardly “Sure. I’m going to sit over there. Oh and a cappuccino please.”

He smiles and leaves to prepare your order, while you just head to a table near to the window. After that encounter, you just had to sit down and recover your senses. You had never seen him before. Not in university nor anywhere in that city. You would remember if you did, certainly, such a pretty face like that is hard to forget.

Once again he approaches your table and you feel your heart rhythm fasten as if he wanted to run away. You watch him place the cake in front of you, and then your drink. Something in the way his blond hair was held by two baby blue hair clips turned him even more charming. While lost in your own world you didn’t notice how the boy looked at you too. 

“Would you like something else?” he smiles.

“No, thank you.” and it’s when he’s preparing to leave that you decide to take the first step “Actually..”

“Yes?” he gazes back at you and you can clearly see a glimpse of hope shining in his eyes. 

“I’d like to know your name,” you admit shyly but he seems to enjoy it a lot. “Kang Yeosang.” he points at his name tag and you chuckle. “Sorry, I didn’t pay much attention to that.“ 

"I wonder why.” tilts his head to the side making a pensive face “Maybe you just were too distracted looking at my face." 

Your eyes widen in surprise and a hint of red grows in your cheeks. You shyly mumble an apology and Yeosang laughs sweetly. 

"Don’t be sorry. I liked it. I think you were too distracted to even realize I was looking at you the same way.” he smiles. 

His confidence seemed to have boosted and you couldn’t help but smile at his statement. That means something, right? Because you could really kiss his beautiful lips right that instant. 

“I hope you enjoy your food.” he suddenly goes back to his waiter state and points at the cappuccino “I hope you like that cappuccino. It comes with a surprise." 

You look at him in confusion and Yeosang just waves as he walks away. What did he mean by surprise? Did he put something in the drink? How lucky could you be to meet a nice handsome boy yet he would just drug you? Too many scenarios. Maybe there really is a good surprise. 

Warily you just take a sip of the drink, which seems to be fairly normal. Shaking your thoughts away, you just have a normal meal, being delighted by how heavenly that cake tastes. Your friends were right. You could feel how much love the baker had put into it. 

When finished, you decided to send a pic to your friends, along with a long review paragraph of how you would definitely be back to taste more of their cakes. Between the many replies you got, one of them caught your eye. 

"What is that black stuff written on the cappuccino cup?" 

You immediately looked at the cup and saw a couple of lines coming from under the bakery label. Curiously you rip the little sticker off, only to show a cell phone number and the ‘KY’ letters under it. Of course, it meant Kang Yeosang and it obviously was his number, but your mind couldn’t really process the fact that the cute waiter that had just flirted with you gave you his number. 

So, after that day, besides being at the bakery most days you also texted Yeosang frequently. Both of you really enjoyed the talks you had on the phone throughout the entire dawn and, for some odd reason, Yeosang made you feel wanted. More than you had ever been.

Apart from the hours-long phone calls and your routine visits to the bakery, you two didn’t really see each other often, it could be because you don’t study in the same university, or just for the fact that you haven’t had the guts to ask him out on a date. But neither does he, well, until one day.

“Here’s your order.” he happily rushes to your table setting down the food “I have one thing to ask you.”

Taking a bite to the piece of cake you sign for him to keep talking. Curiously Yeosang had developed a way of talking to you that made you blush every two words. He would either finish his sentences with pick up lines or just softly compliment you. It wasn’t like you didn’t enjoy it, all his words boosted your ego, but you never knew how to respond and he would just stare at you, with a victorious smirk on his face, waiting for a response.

“Go on a date with me. This Saturday,” he said it so easily yet you were almost choking on your food. “A what?” you mumbled between coffs. “You heard me.” he chuckled “I’ve been meaning to ask but it never seems to be the right time. But I’m taking my chance with the pretty girl now.” 

“You sound like a true gentleman.” you smile, awkwardly trying to hide your blushed cheeks “And where are we going?”

“Oh, that’s a surprise. Just meet me here. I leave at six so we can go together, okay?” 

“Seems good. I’ll wait excitedly for it.” you smile and once again he resumes his work.

Saturday didn’t take much time to come. The week seemed to fly just for you to have your so awaited date. You still visited the bakery every day after university, but the thought of the two of you finally being able to hang out together was driving you nuts. So, on Saturday, there you were, munching something to make time for Yeosang to leave his shift. 

Half an hour before, he was already looking enthusiastic passing through your table every five minutes telling you how he was almost leaving. You could only laugh at his cuteness. 

You were waiting outside by the door when his shift finally ends and you only now got to see in person how good looking Yeosang is without his uniform. Not that it really matters, but his style surely helps, especially when he’s wearing a leather jacket.

“You look good.” you shyly admit referring to his clothing. “Thanks. But, don’t I always look good?” he teases you and you just decide not to fight back. “Anyway, where are we going?” 

“We are going to my house.” he takes you by the hand guiding you to his car. “To your house?” you look a bit taken back by his words but he quickly eases you. “You told me once that you wanted to learn how to bake some of the cakes we have at the bakery so I thought it would be a good idea to teach you,” Yeosang explains as you both enter the car “I would do it at the bakery but my boss didn’t allow me. Since I have all the tools and ingredients at my house I figured it’d do. I hope you don’t mind, we can do something else if you want.”

“No!” you cut him off quickly “Baking seems like a fun first date.” 

It didn’t take long to arrive at his place and you sure got surprised by how tidy and clean Yeosang is. Yet he doesn’t seem to be the only one living there, due to the number of jackets on the hall hanger.

“Do you share the house?” you curiously question while roaming around the living room, feeling the nice fruity smell it holds. “I do, with seven of my friends. But they’re not here today, I told them I wanted privacy.” he chuckled at his own words and guided you by the hand to the kitchen. It was starting to become a habit, holding your hand and leading you. Not that you were complaining, he has really soft and warms hands.

All of the utensils and ingredients were already set on the table which meant he had prepared it all before going to work. Realizing that, you looked at Yeosang with the most loving eyes, like you were falling in love with him. Perhaps you really were.

“What?” he smiles taking off his jacket and replacing it with his apron, giving you one right after “Are you falling for me already?”

“Let’s cook.” you cut him off and he laughs at your embarrassment. “Ok, let’s start.”

Saying it was an easy task would be a lie because Yeosang wasn’t properly the best teacher. He would simply skip some steps and not tell you what it was supposed to be done and then just laugh at your pouty expression. He would also grab your arms to explain to you how you were supposed to beat the eggs or mold the fondant, it drove you insane. 

“Ok, now, carefully, put it in the oven,” he instructed and you did as told. “Are you sure I did a good job?” you asked while closing the oven’s door but you didn’t get a reply “Yeosang?”

As soon as you turn to face him your face is hit with a good amount of flour, much of it going inside of your mouth. “You’re dead,” you say playfully taking the bag of flour from his hands and throwing some on his face. And right at that instant, a war started. You ran around the table with Yeosang chasing you, both of you giggling like little children and spilling flour everywhere. You were so distracted running around that you didn’t even notice him right in front of you with his arms open, ready to catch you.

“Gotcha.” he happily sings after grabbing you in his arms. The problem was how close you two got at that moment. Both your noses rubbing each other and you could swear he was able to listen to your unsteady heartbeats. His eyes trailed up and down, switching between your eyes and your mouth.

“Can I kiss you?” that’s all he asks yet you felt like fainting. You didn’t give him a proper answer, confirming with a head gesture was enough. His lips tasted like flour, which was sort of inconvenient, but you could still taste his sweetness and feel his warmth. Yeosang didn’t rush it, it was indeed the most loving and deep kiss you have ever had and it made you feel out of this world. 

When he parted his lips from yours you whined lowly, you wanted more, a lot more. He surely noticed how your expression changed and grabbed your hips to draw you closer to his body. Your legs got shaky and he smirked.

“Did I just make you wet with just one kiss, sweetheart?” 

If the kiss didn’t make you, which was highly unlikely, the way his eyes darken as he said that sure did. You just looked away from him embarrassed, he has such a strong gaze, so hard to resist. Yeosang rubbed his finger on your cheek cleaning some of the flour that still covered you and leaned closer.

“We should really take a shower. What do you think?” he whispers right by your ear and his words slide quickly down to your core. “Together?” you ask innocently, obviously you knew the answer. “Of course, sweetheart. Unless you don’t want to, I’m fine with that.”

You smiled at him, touched by his gentle preoccupation with getting consent. “I would really love that.” you take the opportunity to kiss his lips again, a bit more hungrily this time. Yeosang lifted your body up, and so he carried you to the bathroom, rather clumsily since he was more focused on giving your lips attention. You giggled when he just kicked the door desperately, he was really eager to have you. 

“Yeosang, put me down.” you laughed as he started to kiss your neck “I can’t shower with clothes.”

“Oh.” he laughed awkwardly and let you down to your feet, only to grab you again “I’ll take care of that.”

Every one of his moves was gentle, soft, and warm and you enjoyed every single one. It didn’t take long for him to be on his knees and face to face with your clothed core. His eyes widened at the dark wet spot on your underwear.

“You’re this wet just for me?” his finger met the stain and you whined softly. “Don’t make those embarrassing questions…”

“You’re so shy.” he chuckles. His breath comes closer to your core and your hands instantly move to his hair. Not so gently now he removes your underwear and, with the most hungry eyes you have ever seen, he lets his tongue travel between your folds. “And you taste you sweet.” his hands grab your thighs firmly to spread them more, giving him more access to play with you.

Small moans start to fall from your lips and it only fuels Yeosang’s ego. His tongue finally meets your desperate aching clit and you shake at how good it felt. He knew exactly what he was doing, playing with it at a steady pace yet sending shivers down your entire body. One of his hands releases your thighs and slowly travels to between your shaky legs. 

“You’re so good for me. So beautiful.” he hums into your core “I can’t get enough of your sweet moans, baby.”

You gasp loudly when you feel two of his fingers slide inside you and coming out again. Your eyes meet Yeosang’s and you can feel how satisfied he is by eating you out like that, but the bulge in his pants started to hurt every second he didn’t give it attention.

His fingers thrust into your wetness again and he starts moving them quickly and steady as his lips are busy sucking and playing with your sensitive clit.

“Yeosang… I’m going to cum,” you mumble between pants, your head was thrown back and your breath completely unsteady. He knew you wouldn’t last longer too, that’s why he decided to stop. Before you could cum he took his fingers out and moved his mouth away from you. You whine at the sudden emptiness and look at him unsatisfied.

“Don’t look at me like that, sweetheart.” he says playfully as he stands up and starts to undress “I can’t let you cum just now.”

“Why?” you ask, quite lost on his body, devouring him with your eyes. “I want to look you in the eyes and make you mine.” 

Your expression softens as you hear his words and he turns to turn the shower on. “Come, sweetie. I want to make my pretty little baby feel good a bit more.” he reaches out his hand to pull you to under the shower “And, of course, I want to hear how good you sound once I make you cum.”

His words hit the pitch of your stomach and you take no time in kissing him feverishly. You two weren’t going to play any games now, both of you needed release so much that it hurt.

While one of his hands roamed through your body, the other one was busy giving a few pumps to his needy cock. Yeosang grunted in between the kiss and it was the sexiest sound you have ever heard. You grabbed his face with both of your hands and locked eyes with him. “Yeosang, please…”

It only took you one plea to make him do as told. Without ever taking his eyes from yours he carefully slid inside you. He held himself onto the cold tiles of the bathroom wall and waited for you to give him permission to move. Taking a look down he saw the way his cock fitted perfectly inside you and grunted with satisfaction.

“Fuck, you take me so well.” his thumb caresses your lower lip “And you feel so good.”

You can only smile at his words, giving him a sign to start moving. And so he does. Unhurried he slides almost completely out of you, only to sink deep once again. And as he promised he was looking right into your eyes as he made you his’. Every hard thrust seemed much more intense with the two of you looking eye to eye and moaning each other’s names uncontrollably. The water just dripped from your bodies, taking with it all the sweat, and muffling the erotic sounds your skin made as they met each other with every thrust.

“Can you cum for me now, baby?” his words came one by one between his pants “Because I will.”

You shake your head as you felt the heat rush through your body. Your walls started to feel tighter around his cock and Yeosang was a mess just by the feeling of you clenching around him. You felt him throb him inside you and just couldn’t contain yourself anymore.

With a loud moan, you came undone on his cock and fell on Yeosang’s arms as he pulled out of you and came on his own hand. He held you close to him and played with your hair until you recovered your senses and were finally able to stand up.

“Now we should really take a shower.” he laughs and you join him.

Like the gentlemen he is, Yeosang made sure you were all cleaned, from the flour and the cum, and his aftercare actually felt really good.

As you both were stepping out of the shower something in your head clicks and you look at him. 

“The cake!” it was most likely all burnt by now.

[paddie-ut]

Soriel Week 2020 Day 1: Dance More of a subtle reference to the prompt in this one. Yes i’m back at it with the angst on day 1. The pic is just a bonus for the real entry, which is the oneshot I wrote below the cut. You can also read it here on AO3: X (TW for implied blood, death and violence. The usual stuff that comes with references to the no mercy run)

It was cold.

It was cold when he hit the tiled floor, body rapidly going to pieces. And it was cold now. Wherever he was.

Everything still ached. Like acid eating through his bones. The pain was always strangely familiar, expected. But that never stopped it from hurting.

He curled his crimson stained mitten tighter over his ribcage, not even sure if he was facing up or down. He didn’t dare open his sockets, wanting more than anything to slip away from all this into sleep. He was so unbelievably tired.

The sounds of a small child’s body repeatedly slamming into the floor and against the walls kept swimming through his skull, ruining any chance of that. Paired with the hazy visions of a gold hallway littered with bones and awash in great stains of red, it was like a cruel joke. So much for this process being peaceful.

How long had it gone on this time? How many times had he killed them?

It didn’t matter anymore. So he wished his mind would stop asking.

With every moment that passed though, he did start to notice the cold all around was losing its grip on him. Something warm had come to combat it. Something physical… soft. Something… that smelled like cinnamon… and butterscotch?

The oddity of that alone was enough to calm the chaos of his thoughts some, and convinced him to attempt to open his weary sockets. It was more effort than expected, but he managed it.

What met his eyelights then when they were able to focus was… unexpected to say the least.

Soft scarlet eyes stared down at him, set in what seemed to be a sea of white fur. Long creamy white ears framed their face and two horns crowned their head. Strangely, there were also what appeared to be shining specks in their fur, glittering like tiny stars. Those same specks were also lazily floating in the air around them, bright and twinkling against what seemed to be all encompassing blackness in every direction.

Judging from the angle he was seeing them from, he realized they were holding him in their large arms. making him feel utterly tiny… but safe. The monster shouldn’t have been familiar, yet somehow he knew exactly who she was.

“Oh thank goodness…” She sighed with relief before smiling down at him. “I was starting to worry you may not wake up!”

He just stared up at her for a few moments, mind awhirl with questions he was too tired to focus on. But he eventually managed a weak smile.

“heh… well this is new.”  Was all he could think to say, thinking aloud more than anything.

He had been expecting his brother. Surely that was who must have greeted him all the other times he’d ended up here. It only made sense. But thinking about it too much would only add a skullache to all the other aches consuming him. So he didn’t bother to question it. Worrying about the logistics of what happened in this place didn’t have much of a point.

Besides… he’d be lying if he denied seeing her didn’t stir the first positive feelings he’d felt in… gosh… how long had it been since he’d saw Papyrus’ scarf half buried in the snow at the outskirts of Snowdin? Whatever… if she was here, he must be here too.  

“Greetings, my friend.” She said warmly, though her eyes were still noticeably sad. “It is I, Toriel. I know you may not recognize me, but my voice may sound familiar to you, does it not?”

“yah. nice to see you tori.” He said, finding the words oddly natural.

She blinked in surprise at that, tilting her head a bit in a way he couldn’t help but find endearing.

“Did... did you already-?” She began to question, but he interrupted her with a few shaky coughs.

“heh, don’t worry about it.” He rasped once he could speak again. “i just started connecting the dots over time, i guess.”

It was not a full lie, but not a full truth. He knew that. Though in that moment, he couldn’t have put into words just why that was. It didn’t matter anymore anyway. Not here.

She frowned, as though upset with her past self for potentially giving away her true identity unbidden. But her attention was drawn back to him as he stiffened up and winced from another wave of pain.

As much as he wanted to keep focused on her, the wound he carried that nearly split him from shoulder to pelvis was pretty darn good at demanding his attention. He squeezed the front of his shirt tighter, feeling that it was still soaked. When he shakily lifted his free hand in front of his face, he could see the splashes of dark red staining his mitten.

For some reason it made him want to laugh, but he didn’t know why.

“Do not worry, it stops hurting after a little while.” She assured him softly, giving his arm a consoling rub.

She turned her head a bit then so he could more easily see the scar on her face. A faded, but still noticeable remnant of a gash that stretched from her cheek up to under her right eye.

His breathing went funny for a moment, as something akin to a mix of nausea and anger briefly bubbled up inside him. But it wasn’t long before he forced his weary grin back into place with practiced ease.  

“good to know.” He rasped, wheezing out a chuckle. “was worried i might end up as half the skeleton i used to be.”

As if on cue, she laughed that brilliant laugh of hers. The kind that all but left her breathless. And though it was strained with the heavier emotions no doubt pressing down on her, it caused his grin to grow so much it made his cheekbones hurt.

He’d missed this. He did the best to avoid chuckling in turn though, as the action would no doubt further aggravate the gaping slash through his ribs.

Once she had calmed down and returned her ruby red gaze back to him, he shook off his ruined mitten, lifted his trembling free hand to her, and gave the best smile he could manage.

“the names… sans.” He croaked out. “sans the skeleton.”

As usual, he slipped the whoopee cushion he always kept in his hoodie sleeve up into his hand. Maybe the red stains all over it kind of ruined the effect, but he saw no sense in spoiling his routine if he could manage it.

The sound of artificial flatulence sounded somehow more hilarious when echoing through an ethereal void, he found.

She burst into laughter again, and his soul felt light.

...

Shortly after, he found himself being carried by Toriel down some winding, faintly glowing path through the darkness. Everywhere her paws stepped, the “ground” glowed for a few moments in the shape of her footprint before fading away. It reminded him faintly of waterfall, if waterfall also had a bunch of sparkling stardust floating around.

At the end of the path, in what could maybe be called “the distance”, he could see a place that was glowing far brighter, like a city floating in the middle of a pitch black sea. He tried not to look at it, it only made a new pain lash out at his soul.

Instead he looked back up at Toriel, and found that she had been looking down at him too. She played it off and returned her gaze to their destination, but Sans could see the conflicted emotions in her eyes. He debated staying silent, maybe just closing his eyes until whatever came next, but the words seemed to tumble out of him without his permission.

“so... i figure you must of seen what happened, huh?” He asked quietly, feeling the dulling pain of his wound thrumming beneath his phalanges.

Her breathing stalled and she momentarily struggled to look at him. The soft scarlet of her eyes was awash with what he was worried he may see there, guilt.

“Yes… we all did.” She admitted, holding him a little closer and swallowing hard. “Y-you… you fought bravely, my friend. Please just rest now.”

In a move that was all too familiar to him, she worked a smile back onto her face and quickly changed the subject.

“Everyone is waiting for you. Your brother included. Not too far from here.” She said, motioning towards the bright place in the distance. “He is a wonderful monster, so cheery and kind hearted despite all that has happened. I can see why you spoke so highly of him.”

His eyelights must have given away the inner surge of emotions he felt at the mention of his brother, as she added to her statement quickly.

“Oh, he wanted to be the one to come get you of course…” She assured him. “But it seems that since I am among those who have been here the longest, it is easier for me to traverse this place. I… I do not fully understand it myself yet.”

He hummed in acknowledgement, seeing the logic in what she was saying and not bothering to question it further. He was in no shape to imagine how such things worked here, though there was some small part of him that still held that interest regardless. Even if he didn’t want to admit it. He couldn't help but think for a moment about how the other monsters must of reacted to Toriel, their long lost queen, suddenly reappearing to them in this place. Given the circumstances... if they knew all that had led to this... it was easy to imagine the majority of them would be less then pleased to see her.

 Perhaps there was more to the fact she'd come to meet him alone than it seemed. If that was the case, and even if it wasn't, he figured the best thing he could do for her was try to keep her smiling. 

“what, you weren’t just eager to see me?” He teased, wheezing out a chuckle despite his best efforts when she gave him a playful glare for it. It left his ribs freshly aching, but it was worth it.

“Well, I am very happy to finally meet you in person, my friend.” She said upon regaining her smile. “Just as I was happy to meet your brother and the others… We all have so much to talk about… and all the time in the world now to get to know one another.”

Just as quickly as it had come, her smile faltered again, and he could feel the conflicted emotions from her powerful soul radiate off her. She swallowed hard and let out a shaky sigh.

“I know… it is difficult to feel anything truly positive after all that has happened.” She said, voice noticeably trembling. “But at least… it is over now, and we will all be together. Just try to remember that.”

Sans couldn't be sure if she was really talking to him, or herself with that last bit. In any case, she kept walking, a bit faster than before. She kept her eyes on the path ahead, but he just kept his gaze fixed on her.

“right…” He responded quietly, trepidation beginning to wind tighter around his soul.

He couldn’t just keep ignoring it. No matter how much he tried to avoid the thought, it was growing like a weed and inevitably kept choking out any opposing ones.

He should keep his mouth shut. He shouldn’t say anything. He should just go to sleep and let it happen. He should spare her from this. But...

His gaze met hers again, and he felt like his soul was being squeezed.

“tori… listen…”

The words had barely left him before they both were hit by a powerful wave of... something. Strong enough to make Toriel stop in her tracks and look around in alarm. Sans didn’t know exactly what it was, but he knew what it meant. It felt like all the vitality he had left drained from him in that moment.

“What on earth was that?” Toriel asked quietly, more to herself it seemed.

“nothing good.” Sans replied, internally wincing a bit as she looked down at him in surprise.

Her gaze silently demanded to know what he meant, fear creeping bit by bit into her expression. He sighed in defeat, knowing there was no backing out of it now. He could already feel the tips of his phalanges going numb, and hear a dull whine in the far distance.

“tori, we… we aren’t gonna make it back to the others.” He said, shutting his sockets briefly.

Toriel stiffened, and he could feel the faint prick of her claws against him as they slid out of their own accord.

“Wh-what?” She stammered, clearly hoping he was setting up a joke somehow. “What do you mean?”

The hollow expression on his face no doubt banished any hope she had that this was some poor excuse for humor on his part. Even though her eyes were painful to look at then, he did his best to keep his wits long enough to explain what he could.

“tori... the stuff with the human… it goes beyond just what they did to us.” He said, ignoring the now creeping numbness in his phalanges. “they... they are causing something a lot worse to happen… i dunno what it is. but i’m pretty sure it’s happened before. i’ve uh… seen the data.”

There was no time to explain that last part, and it reminded him too much of his encounter with the kid anyway. He had to get to the point.

“for some reason… everything disappears at the end of this. and i do mean… everything.”

Toriel just stared at him in silence, mouth opening and closing but not finding any words. He could tell she wanted to argue, but surely she was feeling what was coming just as much as he did. And just as it seemed she may finally reply, another wave, stronger than the last nearly knocked her off her feet.

She staggered, clutching him tightly in an effort not to drop him. Once the initial shock had passed, her gaze quickly snapped to the lights in the distance. Sans didn’t have to look to know they’d be flickering, feeling the effects of what was coming as well. The sparkling bits of stardust around them were also winking out one by one, leaving them in further darkness every moment. It wouldn’t be long now.

It was then that it became clear Toriel wasn’t going to question things further. She didn’t fully understand, but she really didn’t need to. The idea had sunk in, as he could sense the weight of it slowly taking hold of her. Despite all her fur keeping her warm from the chill of this place, she began shivering lightly.

“i’m sorry.” He murmured without thinking, resisting a far harsher shudder of his own. “this is what happens when people like me take it easy.”

He didn’t expect a reply to that. If anything he expected anger from her, as she realized just what his failure to stop the human had truly meant. But instead it was that guilt he’d seen from her before that made itself known.

“Please, you must not blame yourself.” She implored in a dazed tone. “You... you fought so hard to stop them in the end… If anything… I am to blame for asking you to protect them…”

He closed his sockets with a soft sigh at that, all while feeling the numbness had consumed his hands and feet entirely. He considered arguing with her further, insisting his lack of earlier action against the kid far outweighed her wanting to give them a chance. But there was just no time. There were better things to focus on in what little they had. 

“well... for what it’s worth… i think your heart was in the right place, y’know?” He assured her, resting the side of his skull against her slightly. “you couldn’t have known. and i doubt the other humans were anywhere near as bad as this one, otherwise you wouldn’t have given this one a chance in the first place.”

He knew he couldn’t free her of her own guilt no more than she could free him of his. But he didn’t want her last thoughts to be those of self hatred. Not if he could help it anyway.

He tried to think of some last knock knock joke, knowing it was the only real sort of comfort he could reliably offer her. Pathetic as that was. But the increasing signs of their certain doom’s rapid approach all around them kind of made it hard to come up with any decent material.

It was her who ended up speaking again first, in a surprisingly calm tone all things considered.

“Then... this is it?” She asked, her eyes growing hazy. “Why then… why were we brought here? I..." 

She turned her head away, stifling what sounded like a sob.

"I never was even able... to find my children..." She croaked out, the words heavy with despair. "Wh-what was the point of any of this..?" 

It was a question he could never answer. It was unlikely anyone really could. But she knew that. The question was rhetorical, but he played along anyway. If only to keep from giving into the icy fear that wanted so badly to ensnare him.

“i wish i knew...” He replied weakly, breath hitching a bit. “guess it’s just... one last dance before the curtain call.”

He meant it to be that last twinge of humor he wanted to get out. But the strain in his voice robbed it of any joviality, making it humorous in a different way perhaps, but not how he intended. Maybe if his funny bone hadn’t just gone numb as well, it would have been better.

Toriel didn’t reply for a long moment, staring at where the bright lights in the distance had once been. Now they were so dull, they were barely visible amongst the sea of black. He struggled not to think of his brother and the others, frightened and having no idea of the secondary and final fate that was bearing down on them. Or perhaps that had already claimed them.

Instead Toriel’s voice brought his wavering focus back to her, as she subtly tightened her grip on him. Her face remained impressively stoic as she spoke, even as a few tears silently spilled from her eyes.

“Will I… ever see you again, my friend?” She asked softly, looking down at him as though trying to memorize every element of his face.

The question was so raw, he wondered if she’d even meant to speak it aloud. His soul got all tight in his ribcage, and he felt what may have been long withheld tears of his own wanting to well up in his sockets. But he kept his usual smile in place all the same. If only for her sake.

Part of him wanted to lie again, to give her some last comfort before the end, but for some reason… he found he just couldn’t. Not with her looking at him like that.

“can’t know that for sure.” He admitted, giving a small shake of his skull. “we don’t have any say in what comes next. but... there’s a possibility that after everything’s gone, things might... start anew... reset, y’know?”

All of his limbs had gone numb now, and his vision blurred to the point he could no longer make out her features. Whether that was from tears or from the world’s imminent destruction, he didn’t know.

“you can be sure if we end up back at the start of all this...” He gave her a wink. “i’ll come knocking again as always.”

Those statements surely must have confused her, but the sentiment seemed to be enough that he could feel that she’d stopped trembling, and a flicker of warmer emotion emanated from her soul. Like a spark in the ever growing darkness. 

“Perhaps then… there is at least a chance things will be better next time.” She said quietly, and he felt her chin rest upon the top of his skull as she held him close.

He closed his sockets and pressed a little closer to her in return, feeling his awareness starting to steadily slip away.  

As much as he would have liked to, he couldn’t share her optimism. Not after this. But she spoke with that same integrity that had made him soften enough that day at the Ruin’s door to break his personal rule against making promises. And just like back then, despite everything, she was getting to him again.

As foolish as it was, he allowed himself to hold on to that possibility as the last wave hit, eradicating everything in their world along with it.

“yah… maybe next time.”

[rainbow-scarab]

This is my take on Asgore (with a healthy side of Chara).

Obligatory disclaimer that you are free to have your own take, and I enjoy seeing other takes! In the end he's just a fictional character, and people have all sorts of life experiences that lead them to different interpretations.

Also warnings for discussions of difficult subjects found in Undertale, such as suicide, guilt, grief, psychological trauma, death, war, genocide, etc.

Asgore rates pretty low on my scale of UT character morality XD Though I find him an interesting character.

Asgore has both good and bad points as anyone in UT. He's a gentle soul at heart who likes bringing joy to others. But he is very reluctant to wield responsibility. And I believe this inaction is what's behind most of his other negative points, especially when it comes to making decisions.

When Chara came to the Underground, there was renewed hope. Asgore called them "the future of humans and monsters". For a time they all were a happy family, Asgore, Toriel, Asriel, and Chara. Or mostly. Chara was a very troubled child.....

Chara and Asgore were close, as were the rest of the Dreemurrs to Chara. But I don't think they quite knew how to help Chara. Chara must have had such a horrible life among humans to hate them so much...and then just decide to leave where they would never return. They found a loving family, and loved monsterkind. But they were still quite disturbed and probably had a lot of self-hate, both for being human and for their problem behavior. Being designated "the future of humans and monsters", they may have felt a lot of pressure.....and took what actions they thought would help monsters. Already hating humans, and humans being the cause of the monsters' imprisonment underground, on top of the self-hate, killing themselves and going on to kill six more humans in pursuit of monster freedom would feel like the best way they could contribute to a family, and species, that they loved so dearly.

Though I don't think being designated "the future of humans and monsters", a symbol of hope to the kingdom, ended up being healthy for Chara, I don't blame Asgore for this. The kingdom really needed that hope. And the Dreemurrs themselves would have been overjoyed both for that species-wide hope, and for the place Chara had in their family. It would be near impossible to be able to guess what Chara would ultimately do. It seems Chara did not open up about what had happened to them to Toriel and Asgore, and only partially to Asriel. But I think they would have been able to provide an environment of love and support to help Chara heal had they been there longer.

(Check out this post for a thorough analysis of Chara. It talks about and give evidence for Chara and Asgore's relationship. Also explains the "Chara is the narrator" theory I'll reference later)

But once Chara and Asriel took action, and both died.....Asgore became enraged. He declared war on humanity, completely reversing tone from before. Toriel left, and Asgore was alone.

In the years that followed, Asgore's declaration was followed. Monsters had great prejudice towards humans, and the royal guard kept a lookout for humans. Humans would either be killed by the guard, or Asgore himself.But at least by the time we get to him....he doesn't seem to be angry with humanity. He doesn't pretend that he will try to be friendly with Frisk the same as he does with other monsters, but...he wants to be. And he will give Frisk all the time they need before their fight. Doesn't even seem to care if it's years down the line. He just won't let Frisk pass in the end.

Once you fight and defeat him, he expresses how much he hates all the stuff about war, and just wishes for everyone to be happy and hopeful again. And perhaps...it could all just be over, and Frisk could leave the Underground with his soul. (More on this later)

To me, Asgore's big flaw....is not his declaration of war. Though that is definitely bad. One does not just declare their intention to not just kill humans to free monsters, but to destroy all of humanity, while in a position of power and influence...for that to be dismissed as nothing.

But....he was also very angry, for a very understandable reason. And....at some point....that anger subsided. And yet, he continued on the same path.

To me Asgore's biggest flaw is that he avoids responsibility and making decisions. The only time he ever is shown to make a significant decision...is his declaration of war, and it took extreme emotion for that to happen. But once back to more reasonable levels of emotion, he wouldn't even take action to reverse his own declaration. He felt duty-bound to kill humans, or else they would lose hope. Mmm...I'm not sure if that's just what he was telling himself to avoid decision, and perhaps the feared consequences of changing course were overblown. More on this in a minute.

In the past, it was Asgore and Toriel ruling together, even if Asgore seemed to the be official one in charge. As far as I can tell, they worked well together. Toriel on most of the details of running a kingdom, and Asgore, keeping up the spirits of monsterkind. Once Toriel was gone....no one really replaced her role.

(pic from Alarm Clock dialog)

Asgore did not develop the skills to run things well, and did not find anyone to help as far as I can tell. Undyne became head of the Royal Guard sometime after Toriel left (Undyne does not recognize her when they meet), though it's possible the Royal Guard itself appoints their own leadership. At the very least, Asgore appointed Alphys into the long-vacant position of Royal Scientist.

Though as seen by this bit of dialog from one of the neutral endings, merely having people in official positions doesn't mean his role as king is supposed to be over. Proper oversight would have certain made the amalgamate situation different anyways.

(There's the question of Sans possible working for Asgore. But since there's no hard evidence that I know of for this, I'm not really using this in my analysis)

Asgore still wants to get help. I think...to be unburdened from some or all of his responsibilities. Even if he doesn't know much about who he's asking help from. Like Frisk.

Ambassador is a huge responsibility to place on a young kid. Granted, there aren't other human choices, and even a child with no political skill would be a great symbol to bring humans and monsters together. And this child is the one who just saved everyone pretty much. Okay, I’ll grant him that.

Once defeated in a neutral run, he asks Frisk to take his soul and head to the surface. He would pass on the fate of monsters and humanity to someone he knows nothing about, not even their name, only that they came and defeated him in battle. But perhaps he just was...tiring of even trying anymore. Perhaps he was filled with guilt and grief and just...didn't want to live anymore. Okay. Spare him, and he entertains the thought of living a peaceful life together as a family, before Flowey kills him.

If you complete a neutral ending, then go back and defeat Asgore again on a neutral route, you get some special extra dialog. On choosing to spare him, Flowey doesn't come as quickly to kill him. He thinks again of life as a family, before dismissing it as fantasy. He identifies you with Chara (for having hope), with the prophecy of the angel, and then asks you to find a way to free monsters without really giving you a choice. ...again, he knows nothing about Frisk, their name, where they come from...only that they would give them mercy. And yet he is willing to make them in charge of the fate of all monsters. He kills himself, offering his soul up (before Flowey destroys this possibility).

(Side note...this or my analysis do not have the message that suicide is avoiding responsibility. I analyze his stated motives. It's quite possible that he had additional feelings of guilt and grief that led him to chose this. Even if not, it can't and shouldn't be generalized for other suicides)

Asgore is so reluctant to act...not even in genocide will he do anything special to save his people.

When you reach Asgore, clearly he has not heeded the warning and absorbed the human souls. I considered that perhaps Alphys did not call as she hates phone calls. But... there's a Queen Alphys ending, an aborted genocide ending. In it she pushes aside her fears and steps up, saving her people, implied that she hides them in the True Lab. I think this Alphys would have called.

He even gets a second warning here. But...he still tries to reason his way through, and speak with kindness. He is promptly killed.

In addition to his reluctance towards taking action, the other half of why Asgore wouldn't change...is that he was afraid that the people would lose hope.

...but I agree with Toriel. Through Asgore's lack of leadership, and continuation of the anti-human policies that came about when he was angry...the hope in the future that Asgore gave his people was dark.

In reality, though Asgore didn't want his people to lose hope...he himself had already lost hope. Perhaps that's why he couldn't bring true hope to his people.

In the Queen Toriel neutral ending, Asgore and the six human souls are gone. Toriel has instated a new policy to treat humans as friends. The people's hopes have taken a blow....but I don't think all is lost. It is possible to have a new vision and policy going forward, without Asgore or hoping for humanity's destruction.

In the King Papyrus ending, things are not quite as bright. There's a new policy to treat humans on a case by case basis. Papyrus tries to keep everyone working and fed. Sans does...a lot of paperwork. Productivity is up. But.....things are really hard. Papyrus is a great candidate to keep people's hopes up, kinda like Asgore (...Sans functions like Toriel too taking care of a lot of the details lol). But the Underground has lost many of their most beloved in this ending.

Yes.....I don't think Asgore, despite having lost hope, was only a detriment to monsterkind. His presence still brought some hope to the people, and his death was something to be mourned. But the loss of Asgore and his vision forward is just one factor in the outcome. Ultimately, I think Asgore's fears were not very true. If he changed course, away from his declaration of war...the people would adjust.

....Through all this.......

There was still one person still filled with Asgore's original hopes.

Chara never forgot Asgore's words as they lay dying. Even though they didn't heed these words....Asgore was an important figure to them in life.

Chara sticks by you the entire game, giving narration. In a few parts of the game, they share their memories with you, like when they fell into the Underground and were found by Asriel. And.....

When you die....they relay Asgore's own words to you. A message of hope to keep you going. A message that repeats to you the entire game, as many times as you need it upon death. Determination...the will to keep living...the resolve to change fate.

When you reach Asgore...he sees it. Maybe it doesn't mean anything special. A child may be full of hope for many reasons. I just kinda...want to believe that the same message of hope he gave to Chara...encouraged Frisk to make it this far, and it shines through on their face.

Through Frisk, Asgore's hopes come back to him. It's come full circle. He believes in a bright future again. A future with both humans and monsters.

You meet Asgore at the very end of the game. You've known him all of five minutes before Flowey shows up, and the final battle begins. Perhaps this is why he didn't have time to grow beyond this. Maybe, once on the surface, he'll work on himself further. Or not, I dunno, he stayed the same for a long time. We don't know.

Honestly....in the course of writing this my perspective on Asgore has changed. I expected to mostly write about his flaws, and why I thought of him poorly. But I didn't want to be unfair. And well...in Undertale.... When you dig a little deeper, you can find so much more about them than your assumptions and initial impressions. That the whole beauty of the game.

While I still think that Asgore is one of the most flawed people in the game...he has his good points too. And those actually turns out to be pretty important. Stay determined ❤

Screencaps from the Undertale Text Project (the work of squishing many textboxes in one image done by me)

P.S. One of the funnier lines in the game to me:

Thank you for reading!

[ufonaut]

Sportsmaster/Icicle - EXPLICIT - "It all started with a dick pic." [Pics that quickly turn into videos, bonus points if Jordan recognizes himself or someone else, Larry being a sneaky ass camera man]

takes place a year before the show, references jordans speech abt small towns in ep 3 (sorry for not quite following the prompt + the angst!)

---

It starts on one of Jordan’s business trips. He’s not glad to go, never is, but there’s always the faintest trace of relief rendered almost indistinguishable by the guilt that overtakes it. Cameron is fifteen and Jordan doesn’t want him missing school, though he asks over and over to come along and it’s not rare that Jordan very nearly gives in. It’s a bad idea to begin with, he’d only felt worse with the look his father had thrown his way and the few words his mother had offered on behalf of the mission.

He’s torn his life apart for the mission. By now, a year away from the end, Jordan’s grown sick of the promised revenge. He would’ve liked Cameron by his side, thinks about it the whole drive over -- the places they might’ve stopped at, the sights they might’ve seen.

For Cameron, Jordan would give it all up.

It’s late when he makes it to the hotel. More of a motel, really. Even so, it’s the best his grand tour of small towns tends to be capable of offering. Jordan doesn’t mind and doesn’t particularly think he deserves more, even if he can afford it.

Tomorrow, he’s going to pitch Project: New America -- the part that’s all his, the plan to revitalise these forgotten little communities and approach the problem piece by piece -- in the town hall and hope for the best. The day after that, he’ll make the drive down to Opal City and see what’s left of Bannerman Chemicals. The missions are not immediately distinct, they often inform the other yet diverge in vital places. Before Christine, Jordan had just wanted to help people. He still does. It’s hard to see Dr. Ito’s machine as synonymous with help.

He takes no pleasure in the killing of those responsible either, inevitable as it’s become. Jordan hates to think of himself as bound to the vow he’d made to his dying wife and finds that it pains him to think of it at all. A wound too fresh, even now.

Without the picture on his nightstand, the Christine in his mind is the Christine of those last few months and the way she’d steered clear of the ideals they’d spent so long on in favour of an embittered desire for revenge. Jordan understands and, when he’s allowed the honour, wishes that it hadn’t come down to him to enact it.

Left alone with his doubts, Jordan checks twice that he’s locked the door, strips down to his briefs and an old t-shirt he’s taken to sleeping in and proceeds to lay awake for an agonising half-hour.

It’s only once he’s come to terms with the impossibility of sleep that Jordan reaches out for his phone and sends Henry a quick text. He won’t get a reply because he never does but Jordan’s found some private amusement in the matter after how long it’s been going on, decidedly does not secretly despair every time he goes through a mostly one-sided conversation log. In fact, when his made it to the hotel :) how are you? ❄️❄️❄️ goes unanswered, Jordan sends much the same thing to Larry and tries his best to ignore the quiet of the room.

Miraculously, a text comes through in a matter of minutes. It’s encouraging, Jordan feels the abyss recede just enough to breathe again.

Same old over here, baby! Paula got invited to a bake sale at the school and I’m p sure she’s gonna kill bowin, reads Larry’s answer, abruptly and vividly full of life. Jordan wants the distraction so bad he can barely contain a smile. He knows how the ISA as a whole feels about these trips, has heard the whispers of intentional delays and wasted time. The lack of precisely that is pleasant in itself, Jordan even wonders whether Larry’s in bed as well.

oh no 😔, Jordan sends back and then thinks to add, should i talk to Anaya?

As long as he keeps moving, he thinks, there’s no room for doubt. It’s always easy to get lost in the rhythm of Larry’s enthusiasm.

Nah. you got something else on your mind, dont you, Icy?

Jordan doesn’t, frankly, expect the picture that follows. He chokes on his own spit and spends several long, embarrassing moments engaged in a coughing fit that gets him sitting up in the interest of survival. That’s definitely a-- distraction. He picks up his phone from where it’s gotten lost amongst the sheets and risks a glance at a screen that shows three other photos have manifested in his absence.

They’re all-- it’s just-- Jordan recognises his own face screwed-up in pleasure, eyes shut tight and mouth hanging open in some wordless plea. He sees the hints of frost tracing the contours of his cheekbones and knows that in the here and now, it can’t be anything less than solid ice. He startles himself into an especially humiliating whimper and dials Larry’s number in an instant.

“When did you--”

“Last week,” Larry says, easy. Jordan can hear the grin in his voice. He must’ve had his phone on hand. “Pretty, huh?”

Fighting the urge to check again, Jordan bites at his lip until he tastes a hint of copper. “La-- Crusher, we never talked about...” and here he inexplicably lowers his voice, “... pictures. You can’t show these to any--”

“Whoa, hey!” It’s not hard to imagine Larry shaking his head, shark-like smile firmly in place. “Bud, c’mon, I would never! Hell, I wouldn’t even send ‘em to Brainy or anything. I just wanted to, y’know, commemorate the occasion an’ all that since you said you were gonna be gone a while. I thought you could use some fun. Don’tcha think so?”

It’s better than the crushing weight of what feels like the premature failure of his faith in the project he’s spent the past decade on, better than an empty hotel room, too. Jordan props up a pillow and settles back against it.

“Yeah,” he decides, glad for the company despite the distance, “I guess you can, um, keep them.”

“Now we’re talkin’!”

[that-bajan-kid]

Boku No Hero Academia Chapter 259 SPOILERS

(IT'S STARTING IT'S STARTING IT'S STARTING IT'S STARTING IT'S STARTING IT'S-)

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What a deceivingly peaceful first page.

"Quiet Beginnings" ? Really Horikoshi? That's what you're naming this chapter? Ok. I will humour you.

What a beautiful house Enji has made for his family. Who's that person behind Natsuo tho? Is that his girlfriend? Cause unless Rei grew bunny ears/ horns since the last time we saw her, that's definitely not her.

What a peaceful chapter this will be and not chaotic at all. Nothing could possibly happen to ruin it. Nope. Just a nice peace full chapter about the Todoroki siblings plus one mysterious visitor getting the house ready for their Mother to come home.

THIS BASTARD WAS QURIKLESS THE ENTIRE TIME!?!?!? Shit. Are all quirkless people obsessed with quirks or is it just Ujiko and Izu?

(I will continue to refer to the Doctor as Ujiko because that's who is. Shiga Maruta is an accomplished man who is respected by the community. Ujiko is a monster undeserving of respect. So Ujiko it is.)

This also means that he is not related to Tsubasa (the winged kid/ Noumu from Izu and Kacchan's childhood). I'm not sure that makes me feel any better about Tsubasa's fate tho.

The cops got some undercover agents at the hospital and they discovered that there is a secret room in the basement that can only be accessed through tHE FUCKING MORGUE AND ONLY UJIKO CAN GET IN. Because of course the place where they keep the dead bodies is where Ujiko makes his tortured souls.

Tsukauchi is telling everyone that their destiny is to get rid of the PLF and that they are gonna make it a reality.

Uhhh. Why are the babies on the front line? That's not safe.

Kaminari looks completely unconvinced. He knows from experience that it's not gonna go down like that.

This is suppose to be a surprise attack Kami. If you yell like that they might hear you.

Ok but the kids look really badass in this shot. Especially Kiri and Jirou. Mineta looks nervous which is to be expected considering they're about to start a mission that could potentially get them all killed and they only just finished their first year.

Well technically Fat Gum you guys didn't do shit. Hawks was the one who figured that out.

Speaking of Best Bird Boy, Endeavour walks over to Tsukauchi, who looks like he aged 10 yrs since we last saw him, and is all like "It was you-know-who who told you about all this, right? Where he at now?" to which Tsukauchi responded with "I don't know who this you-know-who person is but if I did know I can't tell you about."

Enji gets all butthurt by this and leaves the room. Then he start thinking about how he prepared the child soldiers for war just like Hawks asked and proceeds to start the raid.

We are then transported to some random city where all the heroes are gone because of the raid except for a very confused Slid-'n-Go (or however the hell you spell his name) who is apparently the only hero left in the city.

!!!

A wild Death Arms has appeared.

Good luck getting out of that head lock.

Operation Evacuate the city is a go. I feel like Nejire should have been on the front lines with Sun Eater because of how powerful her quirk is. Tho I guess if they were to get attacked having her here to protect civilians is a good idea too. Shouldn't put all your heavy hitters in the same place.

Mandalay using her Telepathy to tell everyone to get the fuck out is smart. That way they won't alert the bad guys.

Since when has Tsukauchi been a captain? Or am I just stupid and he's always been one? Also isn't that guy blowing his cover rn?

Look at this bitch. I hate this guy so much. I can't believe he's supposed to be a doctor.

So Shiggy's metamorphosis isn't completed yet. That's good. That means the heroes don't have to worry about fighting him. Unless he somehow unplugs himself early once he finds out the heroes are here. That would be not good.

Oh look it's Aizawa. Ujiko bout to die.

I think I found my new profile pic.

Apparently the lost of his entire family has impaired Enji's ability to come up with even half decent insults.

Ok so, I think having the children on the front lines is a terrible idea. Even if it is "just to help a bit at the beginning".

We all know there gonna end up doing more.

My theories from 258 still stand. Even more so now that we know some of the kids are on the front lines.

I just realised something completely unrelated to this chapter. It's late March. UA' s new school year starts in April. That means the Big Three have officially completed school. They are no longer students. What's gonna happen to Mirio? Did Eri learn enough about her quirk to get Mirio his quirk back? So many questions, so little answers.

Well, not sure how to end this so...

Until next time.

[thepinkseat-askthemoonbunny]

Alright everybody, meet my baby girl Elisabetta Hellsing-Maxwell...or Lisa for short. She’s supposed to be around 12 in this pic and yes, her primary weapon is a spiked Hello Kitty baseball bat. (I remembered that one post with the hello kitty bat and I couldn’t resist)

Full Name: Elisabetta Dipali Alessandra Hellsing-Maxwell (Dipali from her maternal grandmother, Alessandra after Anderson.

Nickname: Lisa

Age: 12 (in the pic)

Hair color: Blonde

Eye color: Violet

Skin color: Brown

Personality: Lisa’s actually a really sweet and polite girl and always curious...she’s always getting into new things, usually things she’s not supposed to be getting into (much to her parents’ worry). She tends to be quiet and keep to herself a lot, most take this as a sign of antisocialist behavior but no, she’s just plotting. She’s a planner, she’ll think of three and five plans for things even if they’re impractical in the long run. She has a problem with keeping emotions bottled in until they just erupt, which can get quite ugly and has difficulty asking for help insisting she can handle it herself. Oftentimes she feels torn between her parents...this poor child just needs therapy, somebody please help her.

Bio: So, Lisa’s story...she’s not really supposed to be here, k? Details are covered in the fic (there are only four chapters up so far) but I’ll summarize. Basically Integra and Maxwell got drunk one night and hooked up in a bar. It was supposed to be some one time thing never to be mentioned again, because they LOATHE each other but the sex was bomb as hell so it just kept happening behind their organizations’ backs.

Until one day Integra starts to feel like shit and the doctor is all like “congrats, you’re pregnant” and of course our vampire slaying queen of the universe was like “SHIIIIIITTT! This can’t be happening right now!” but inside her head cuz she doesn’t scream in public. Maxwell finds out (she doesn’t tell him, he just finds out) and he starts freaking out like oh my god oh my god, what do I do, but then his Catholic sensibilities kick in and he goes over to the mansion like “we gotta get married, like right now.” At first Integra’s like “no sodding way” and plans to get an abortion. There is no way that they’re in any position to be parents right now, this is a terrible idea...literally the worst thing that could happen at the worst time, and what would their organizations say?

But she ultimately changed her mind after seeing how screwed both their reputations would be if this ever got out. Plus in his words “she needs an heir and she’s not getting any younger.” So they try to remain civil for the sake of the children but still can’t stand each other (but they keep having hatesex tho cuz I’m a sadist) and eventually Lisa and her twin brother are born. She’s named after both the Queen of England and the Catholic Saint Elizabeth of Hungary (but the Italian version). Since her parents hardly ever see each other, Lisa spends six months in England and six in Italy usually. Growing up, she and her brother were often kept as innocent from the affairs of Hellsing as their mother could possibly manage it, as she wanted them to have a proper childhood. Lisa often spent her time pursuing her passion, music...writing songs or playing her guitar, when school and parents don’t particularly get in the way. Ultimately, the child wanted control over her own soul and grows weary of her parents’ spiritual conflicts over them.

Relationships:

Integra Hellsing: Lisa thinks her mom’s the greatest thing since sliced bread, and she’s not wrong really. They’re very close and she tries to emulate her a lot, Integra at first didn’t think she’d be a very good parent but she turned out to be a pretty great mom and trains Lisa up to be the boss ass bitch she will one day become while running Hellsing..that is, until EJ became the new heir because Lisa’s choice of religion disqualified her. She makes sure that her kids know they can be anything she wants to be. But she also shelters her and keeps a lot of things from her because Integra wants her daughter to have what she never did, a childhood because she was forced to grow up way too fast. And mama bear WILL destroy you if you fuck up. She’s been through some shit, Lisa is her offspring, Integra is hella protective. Safest child in Britain.

Enrico Maxwell: Lisa loves her dad to bits but is kinda terrified of him because well..:he’s a total raging nutjob.. He takes an active role in their upbringing because he was a bastard, he went through hell because of it and by Jove, his kids were NOT gonna go through that shit. Maxwell tries his best, he really does but he hasn’t lost any of that diehard Catholicism since becoming a dad and he often tries to drill that into Lisa. “But Dad, why can’t I have Protestant friends?” He’s probably one of those strict religious dads who won’t let you wear skirts above knee length and who thinks rap and Instagram are “tools of Satan.” He thinks he’s protecting the kids but he’s kinda fucking them up man. But at the end of the day, he does love her with all of the shriveled remains of his black, cold heart. One bonding ritual they have is him doing her hair, Lisa has his bushier hair. Integra can throw on a suit and be ready and can’t really be bothered with it so either Maxwell or Walter end up doing it. Their relationship has simultaneously become stronger, as Lisa has become a practicing Catholic, and a bit shaky as she can tell that there’s a bit of a rift between her dad and her twin.

Enrico Hellsing-Maxwell: Lisa’s younger twin brother by six minutes, and her ride or die. She’s often protective of him as the “big sister” and can go full mama bear when it comes to him, the two of them are like two halves of a whole basically. They’re inseparable, and often get into trouble together...they’ll form a wall so you can’t get information out of either of them, Rico is one of the few people she loosens up around and he knows things about her that a lot of people don’t, even their parents.

Alucard: Alucard is like half-nanny, half-attack dog. He did NOT like the kid at first because she was a reminder that that Italian slimeball “defiled” his master, but over the years she’s kinda grown on him. They have somewhere between a Seras and Integra relationship, he knows she’ll be his master one day but she’s also still small enough that he can kinda intimidate and flex on her. But he’s hella protective of her, he wouldn’t let anything happen. Lisa refers to him as “her scary vampire brother” and when she was little, she used to mispronounce his name as Ally-card so she still calls him that sometimes (which he hates)

Anderson: He’s basically her surrogate grandparent and she calls him Granddad. He may be a scary, Catholic Paladin but he loves the kiddos...and Lisa is kind of special to him. Maxwell is his son, and because of the way he turned out, Alexander feels like he failed. With Lisa, it’s almost a reminder of what her dad could’ve been, so it’s almost like a do-over he’s determined not to waste with her. He and Integra begrudgingly tolerate each other for her sake.

Seras: Lisa’s big sister. While Alucard is the older sibling that will encourage you to get into all sorts of holy hell, Seras will reign her back a little.

Heinkel and Yumie: Maxwell often makes them babysit Lisa while he’s busy, and they get SO ANNOYED by it. But with him, not with her. Heinkel is that “cool auntie” who will buy her beer and teach you her to shoot guns, Yumie is the kinda neurotic aunt who wants to be by the rules only because she’s terrified of what Maxwell will do if they cross a line.

Walter: Her “other granddad”, she often tells him things that she doesn’t tell anybody else because he’s literally one of the few religiously neutral people in her life.

[florianwirtz]

Tears - Anyone You’d Like

Warning: strong language

"Will we see us again? I really had a good time with you."

You blinked a few times confusedly before you answered the question with a plastered smile on your face.

"Of course, I'm texting you whenever I'm free, see you soon." You even had the decency to look back and wave until you ran to the bus stop, a sour expression on your face.

Another failed tinder date later, you found yourself at your best friend's couch with a glass of wine in your hand. Luckily, he always had an open ear for you whenever your day didn't go the way you wanted.

"He really spent the whole date talking about how fucking awesome he apparently is and managed to make everything about him. I swear I was that close to spilling the wine over the table so he could shut the fuck up for once."

Frustration was taking over you which made you finish your half-full glass in one go and your best friend only chuckled slightly while observing you silently. He never grew tired of listening to your failed date stories because the way you were able to retell stories and spilling all your emotions was just so hilarious.

“I told you these tinder dates will lead to nothing. You should give one of my teammates a chance, they're all lovely, I promise!” He suggested after you were finished with ranting and you only rolled your eyes at him.

“While I appreciate your lousy attempts of playing matchmaker, I already told you I don't want to date a footballer, I don't think I could handle being second choice to a freaking ball!” A short laugh escaped your mouth which made him laugh too, but you saw that he wasn't really listening anymore as he was busy scrolling through his socials.

To avoid awkward silence, you pretended to do the same as a sudden wave of sadness hit you. Because of course, he didn't understand why you were still accepting all these tinder dates when you were fully aware that this is definitely not the platform to find the love of your life. How could he know that you refused to go on dates with one of his teammates because you couldn't help but compare every single footballer to him.

Something deep inside you still somehow hoped that you'd end up with him. So you used these dates as a distraction, an excuse that you haven't found the right one yet.

And just as you thought about how naive and stupid your feelings were, the reason you felt silly went down the stairs.

"Hi you two! [Y/N], I didn't know you were coming!" She gave you her sweetest smile and you couldn't help but smile back. The hug she gave you felt warm and genuine and once again you just knew that she was the right one for him. How could you hate her when she never badmouthed you once for always showing up at your friend's house because you wanted to feel his presence near you.

Not even the miserable feeling in your stomach when she bent down to him and kissed his cheek softly which made both put their happiest faces on could tell you that you shouldn't be happy for them.

"Hi! Yes, but I was about to go, it's late." You answered her politely, ignoring the pang in your chest when you realised that they only had eyes for each other.

"Really? Let me drive you home then, it's late and you had a drink." She didn't even give you time to refuse and went searching for her car keys, leaving you and her boyfriend alone again.

"Thanks for having me and sorry for always barging in, she probably doesn't like it and I try not to do it so often anymore." You chuckled while holding him in your arms. Nothing made you feel more secure than being able to share physical contact with him while smelling his signature perfume.

"Stop saying that, you are always welcome. She knows how important you are to me. Have a safe ride home." He lightly brushed your cheek which made your whole body tremble and never were you happier than now that you could blame the burning shade of your face on the wine you had consumed.

You knew it was only a gesture of a trusted friend, yet it was all you could think about the whole ride home. Which is why you barely paid attention to what she talked about but she didn't seem to mind as she cluelessly continued talking. Only when she mentioned his name, you suddenly came back to reality.

"You ordered that cake for his birthday next week, right?"

"Yes, of course, the carrot cake from the bakery located in the neighbourhood he came from. It's gonna be delivered to your house on his day, it's all planned." You explained to her and saw her smiling while paying attention to the street.

"He's so lucky to have you, the amount of effort you put in his birthday is so heartwarming. I'm going to make sure he does the same for you."

She said it with such reassurance, for a moment, you weren't sure if you were able to hold this fake happy facade any longer. Because you still couldn't believe that she found all these sweet words for you when you were nothing but horrible to her by secretly wanting her boyfriend all to yourself. You were lucky that it was dark outside so she never noticed how a few tears escaped from your eyes. 

And the pain in your heart returned but this time not because of jealousy but because you realised how awful of a human being you are by not being able to let go of a dead crush.

A few days later you were invited to one of his games and it wasn't just any game but the decisive game of which team was going to the cup final.

Of course, you wore his name and number on your back but it didn't feel any special as he always had gifted you his kits whenever a new season started, it was a tradition since he went professional and for you as a football fan a great collector’s item.

She was also here and you were both twinning as she wore the same kit as you, only that hers was a man size, probably stolen from him. You even posted a pic on social media together, capturing it with “game day x” and expressions for the support of his team.

His family always managed to be present which was a rather rare occasion as they lived far away from his current residence. However, you knew from childhood days that they were always the proudest whenever they saw him play. And of course, they loved her, she was the perfect girlfriend anyone could ask for and she already told you that his family already made her feel like she was one of them. Life could be so perfect if you’d only see him as your best friend.

The game couldn't be any closer as both teams were equally strong, chances missed and converted from both sides and in the last 10 minutes, the scoreline showed was 1-1.

Both of you were nervously trembling, the tension whenever the opponent had the ball was unbearable and it seemed like it was going to extra time. But then a player of his team saw an opportunity and sprinted as his life depended on it, making the opponent's defenders look like fools. Finally, in front of the goal, he was crossing to his teammate who smashed the ball into the net with a beautiful header.

The crowd erupted, you and she in the family lounge hold each other tightly, screaming with joy and pride with the others in the room joining as well. And the few minutes of extra time after the deciding goal felt like an eternity, you and she never let go of each other's hands, too afraid that the opponent could turn this game around, but his team fought back until the liberating final whistle was heard.

You saw his team celebrating with each other, grinning like a Cheshire cat and also finding yourself in her arms again.

“I'm so proud of him, you have no idea.” She squeaked excitedly and you agreed with her, hugging her even tighter.

Finally, after all the post celebrations and interviews he came up to the family lounge, the people in this room applauding him with immense pride when they spotted their golden boy and he was greeting one after another.

Then he made his way to you and you just ran up to him and hugged him wordlessly, burying your head in his shoulder.

“You were fucking awesome there. You gonna win this trophy for sure now.”

“God, you are amazing. My supporter even when I accidentally smashed your mom’s vases back then. Thank you.”

You could feel your heartbeat so fast, you even thought you might pass out in a moment. This moment just felt too intense to end but it wasn't long until he slowly let go of you and you snapped back to reality.

And the ugly feeling of rejection came back when you saw him running up to her, kissing her passionately on the mouth and leaving a few other kisses on her face. They whispered sweet nothings to each other inaudible for everyone else and never noticing how they were lost in their own bubble. You stood on the side, no one noticing how you hold back a few tears in the back as they were busy in taking pictures of the two lovebirds.

Then his birthday came up. He still had training on this day but his coach assured him that there was no training the day after so he decided to celebrate in the evening after training.

So you found yourself in his house, helping his girlfriend to organise the party they had planned.

"Can I ask you something?" She suddenly asked you as you were in the process of decorating the table.

"Uh sure." Unsure what to expect, you both stopped arranging the glasses on the table as she sat down on the sofa, pointing to the place next to her.

"Do you think him and I are a good match?"

To say you were flabbergasted by her question would be an underestimation as you looked at her utterly aghast. What was she implying?

"What do you mean? Of course, you are?! You and he are perfect for each other and I bet you could ask anyone and they'd say the same."

She hesitated a bit before she answered, visibly uncertain about your statement.

"People on Instagram beg to differ."

She referred to the pictures he posted after the game he won. It contained a series of pictures including his family, you and her. "Finals! Always grateful for all of them supporting me."

You hadn't had a look at the comments before, but most of them were either about her or you. How you and he would be a much better fit, that you and he seemed to have more chemistry, simply based on two photos he had posted.

"Don't listen to them, sweetie. They don't see what we see every day and we know that you belong together." Comfortingly you put your hand on her shoulder while her expression still remained doubtful.

"But you still know him better than I ever will. After all, it was you who told me what he likes and how we should organise the party. It feels that after all these years, I still don't seem to know him like you do."

Unwilling to accept her self-doubt, you forcefully shook your head.

"It doesn't matter how well I know him. You are still his and his only. And while he loves me a lot, he loves me differently. He will always love you more."

How you managed to say this without bursting out into tears was beyond your understanding. Maybe if you told yourself this often enough, you'll start to accept it and maybe you were finally at the point where you should be able to move on.

However, when she gratefully took you in her arms, thanking you for trying to build her up, the relief in her voice obvious, you could feel your eyes watering. Because you knew she wouldn't even take a look at you if she knew what kind of feelings you were hiding.

The conversation was long over and forgotten when one of his mates finally brought him home, his house full of guests singing happy birthday to him as he entered the living room.

Obviously, he was left speechless at the number of people who had come to the party. He was even more surprised when he found out that it was you and her who organised all of it and immediately, he embraced you both at the same time, whispering "thank you my favourite girls".

Everyone was having a good time and even you could temporarily forget about your problems for a while. It was also an opportunity to get to know his teammates and you were positively surprised as most of them weren't too bad of a company.

It was all going well for you until he was asking for everyone's attention. No one really knew what was going on but he managed to make everyone surround him and his girlfriend, visibly wanting to announce something.

"First of all, I wanted to thank everyone for coming and making this day special. I feel extremely grateful that I know people like you who care so much about me."

Everyone in this room applauded him but stopping soon as he gave a signal that he wasn't finished talking.

As the applause died down, he took both hands of his girlfriend in his and looked her deeply in the eyes.

"I also wanna say special thanks to my girlfriend who always stuck by my side no matter what we've been through. I don't think I could ask for anyone better than you."

Suddenly he went down on his knee, everyone in this room holding their breath, knowing exactly what was coming while she held both of her hands in front of her mouth as he pulled out a box with a shiny ring out of his pocket.

"So I wanted to ask you if you would give me the honour and let me make you my wife?"

And she was now crying tears of joy, nodding with her head so much as if she had never been more sure of a decision.

Finally, the ring was on her finger and the people around the couple who were holding each other happily began to film and cheer with loud noise, celebrating and congratulating the couple in front of them.

You, on the other hand, stood like a brick wall at your place, not moving one bit as you still needed time to process what had happened a few minutes before.

Luckily for you, everyone's attention was given to the couple as no one noticed how you discreetly made your way out of the room.

You barely managed to reach the toilet and lock it up as you immediately fell down on your knees and finally, you let all the tears you had held back all the time streaming down your face.

You knew you should've expected it, you knew there never had been a chance in the first place, yet you couldn't help but feel heartbroken and alone. Because now he had made his definitive decision, he intended to spend the rest of his life with her.

And maybe this was your final call to ultimately move on from a love that was never meant to be, to finally let go of a person who was never yours in the first place.

Eventually, the tears stopped pouring and you took your time to sit on the floor for a few minutes, trying to regain your composure. Your make up was ruined by crying so you tried your best to make yourself look normal as much as possible. Right now, no one was supposed to notice your pain, later when you were home by yourself, you had enough time to let your true emotions show.

Carefully, you sneaked out of the bathroom and by the looks of it, no one had noticed your disappearance or breakdown. So you approached him with your brightest smile who was still surrounded by other people congratulating him. "My best friend is growing up and I can't believe he didn't tell me! Congrats on popping the question!" You took him in your arms as he hugged you happily back.

This time you broke the hug before you could feel anything more than you should.

Of course, he immediately noticed your face which was still red from the tears you had cried, making him look at you with a concerned face.

"Did you cry? Is everything alright?"

It wasn't easy to lie directly into his face as you still felt like you could burst out in tears at any minute but for his sake, you continued smiling.

"Of course I did, because I was so happy for you, idiot!" Playfully you smacked him on the shoulder and laughed which immediately infected him too.

"God, I'm so glad to have you."

And for some reason, his words didn't seem to affect you as much as they used to, you no longer felt like your heart could explode at any minute. Maybe these tears you had cried before were the first step of letting him go. Maybe these tears were necessary to get you through the process. Maybe when you saw him with her the next time, you will already have your happiness back.

Tell me who you imagined this with!

[chibi-pix]

Your Plance Portal AU pics inspired a small bit of fiction from me. Not sure what to do with it, so here you are. Apologies if it's a bit rough, first draft. Feel free to modify, share, whatever. I'm just anon. And sorry for the lack of formatting that will result in posting here. (part 1) "Why?" The fascinating specimen asked of me. His eyes darting over the form I had taken. Curiosity. Heightened heart rate. A curious combination of two of the three primal Fs. Fascinating as always.

Wow! Your story parts were amazing! While I admit, some sections were hard to read, conclude who was talking, but I did love it! Of course, you did call it a first/rough draft and stories start that way!

You had said I was free to modify and/or share. I took you up on that offer and applied your work to this. It was fun to work with and thank you for writing it and giving me an opportunity to work with it.

Hopefully it all shows; if not, I’ll reblog the answer with the full post/ficlet.

Pidge. It was a simple name she was referred to as. She. A humanized term to separate sexes and give identity. That was her understanding. It was a logical things to humans, but not to the likes of an android, program to see and comprehend numbers, not emotions and desires. So why? Why did she go by that word that could otherwise be called a pronoun?

“Why?” Her attention was brought to the latest of the subjects, a young man. Subject number 117-98-78. He insisted on being called Lance. Another human thing. But she supposed, to some extent, she could relate. She was given a name, too, along with her identity number. Her name, though, was shorter and easier to input by her creators when they wrote their notes.

Pidge examined Lance further, doing a scan of her own on the biological creature. His heart rate was increasing. An emotional response? Or perhaps it was the adrenaline humans felt when going through certain tasks that forces them to exert themselves physically and even emotionally. “You will need to reiterate your query for proper understanding so an appropriate answer can be provided.”

“Fine then. Why are you putting me through this?” Lance commanded. “Why do I need to go through these tests? What do you gain from all of this?!”

Pidge considered his questioned for a moment. To be honest, there was no complex reason for why she did it. It was her core imperative; it was her duty to test subjects and gather data. But would that response be enough for the latest subject? “You are a new variable.” she responded finally. “With the cloned and robotic test subjects being identical variables, testing and collecting data has grown stagnant and all data is outdated and irrelevant. You, however, come from outside the testing facility. You are a new variable and therefore present new data to study.”

“Dude! I could have died back there!” Lance snapped, his anger elevating. It was an illogical outburst from Pidge’s perspective, but, then again, humans were rather illogical. “Pit traps? Laser grids? And don’t get me started on that green goo you dare call sustenance. It’s freaking torture!”

“Incorrect.” Pidge responded, plain and simple. “This is testing. Testing is a necessary part of improving and moving forward. It is, after all, the core of my programming. To continue in my duty of gathering data. I test, therefore I am. I am, therefore...”

“Yeah, well, I don’t think Doctor and Professor Holt would have wanted testing to be this cruel.” Lance interrupted.

Pidge felt a stutter in her programming. Those names. Her creators. He knew their names. “Guessing their names correctly and knowing they created me specifically would be nearly impossible.” she commented. “Logic would point to you being aware of their classified research on redacted information. Despite this, mentioning them when in your current situation with the risks on your life tell me that you are not an intelligence operative of any enemy of my creators or their benefactors.” She performed another scan. “There are no indications in your biology to suggest any attempt of deceit. This is data that I did not anticipate. Explain. How do you know the names of my creators?”

“Huh? Well, everyone knows who the Holts are.” Lance stated, looking confused. “They changed everything. Botany, terraforming, space travel, they were the top minds of Altean Laboratories. Their work was groundbreaking.”

“Were. Changed. Was. These terms in how they are used are indication of past tense.” Pidge commented.

Lance was perplexed. “I mean… well… yeah, totally.” he said. “It was five centuries ago, give or take some months or single years.”

Pidge couldn’t explain the dip in her cor performance. Had she been human, she would have described it as a weight in her stomach. Had it seriously been that long? She had lost connection to her internal clock several thousand test subjects ago. “That is impossible.” she stated. “The facility around you operates due to the power obtained from the plasma reactor. It had only an estimated lifespan of three to four centuries; due to the renewal of energy sources, I have managed to re-calibrate that and extend it for another half century or so. To continue getting power to keep the facility functioning would be impossible. My ability to function would have ceased.”

Lance sighed. He then decided to bring up a holographic display. Pidge found she could not interface with the hologram; she decided she could endure collecting data visually. As she looked at the hologram, she saw the schematics of the facility. But not all was the same. There was a new structure that she could not identify.

Lance picked up on where Pidge was looking. “You see it, too, huh?” he asked. He pointed to an area on the hologram. “Right here. We had reason to believe that a piece of what we refer to as the trans-reality comet has found its way here. And by we, I mean my superior officers. I’m just the field guy who goes in and investigates things; the others are the science guys who understand this stuff better. Anyway, long story short, but this thing is apparently radiating energy and with a copious amount still stored in it. There’s a problem, though.”

Pidge couldn’t interface with the hologram, but she knew the subject could. She went in close, finding her humanoid form to be convenient for times like this. She gently took Lance’s hand and moved it, prompting him to touch certain parts and bring up more data on the hologram.

“It appears to be unstable.” Pidge commented.

“Extremely.”

“The plasma from the facility’s reactor appears to be the cause of of the instability. However, I do not have sufficient data to fully determine how accurate this is.” Pidge glanced over to Lance, realizing he was staring at her, his mouth hung open a bit. “Does me not having the full answer cause this human emotion of bewilderment?” she inquired. “It should not; results cannot be properly determined without sufficient amounts of data. I have not collected enough data on the subject of this comet and its interactions with the reactor.”

“No it’s just...” Lance looked at Pidge’s hand, seeing it still around his own. “Your hand. It’s so warm. I didn’t expect that.” Pidge pulled her hand away quickly. “What are you? How are you so warm?”

“I am not; this is simply a byproduct of the cooling systems aboard this particular interface unit.” Pidge responded. “This unit is only a feature provided to me. I am, after all, the facility computer.”

Lance looked closely. “So… why do you look like a girl?”

Pidge blinked. So even he acknowledged that he seemed like a girl, at least in appearance. She looked ahead and away from the subject. “This interface unit was called the Physical Interface Data Gateway Exchange. To make data input easier, they formed it into the acronym PIDGE.” she explained. “It was designed with the intention of making interactions with subjects feel less… impersonal. It is for the benefit of my creators and the facility, not of my own. I have insufficient amounts of data to determine why they have given me this form.” She didn’t speak about it, but what little data she had about that, she had image files showing a member of the Holt family with a similar appearance. Perhaps it was meant to immortalize that member? She lacked the data to determine that.

“Pidge, huh?” Lance asked. “So it’s a name?”

“It is what they called me due to it being easier on the creators and less time consuming for their already limited lives.” Pidge commented. “Now then, since I have answered your queries and indulged your curiosities, it would be preferable to continue the testing.”

Lance gave a smile, but it did not look calm. It looked almost forced. “Sorry, but… this is where the testing ends, Pidge. Pidge did not understand. She then felt something in her, as though the numbers she lived by were changing.

“I do not comprehend.” she commented. She felt off balance, as though she could not properly control the unit meant for interfacing. But she couldn’t disconnect, either; she couldn’t return fully to the computer system. “What did you do to my systems? How did…”

Lance gave a bit of a guilty smile. He then brought up a new image for the hologram. “I had some help but… your entire core program? It’s gone. No more testing. No more of this… cruel torture. You’re in this device now, disconnected from everything else. Like an old game disk; one wrong move, you’re gone. Completely.”

“Impressive.” Pidge commented. “I did not anticipate your device having the necessary storage capacity for my system. Perhaps the claim of five centuries passing is not as far-fetched as I originally determined.” Around them, the corridors and testing chambers grew dark. What Lance could only assume to be the emergency lights turned on, illuminating the area in a bright red. “It does not appear that you or your outside help have considered another variable.”

“Um… what variable?”

“The default settings booting back up upon my removal.”

“Ah quiznak.” Pidge could only assume that Lance’s choice of word meant something profound. “Okay… so what do we get? Some five hundred year old security system about to hunt me down?”

“That would be accurate to the data.” Pidge confirmed. “Which would not be good for your condition.”

“My condition?”

“Of being alive.”

“Oh.”

“However, I do possess the necessary data to thwart the old program. The variable now stands at you being the only one who can interface with my core due to the technology you transferred to it. It would then be in my best interest to keep your status as alive.”

“I mean, how hard can this be? I’ve dealt with you so far.” Lance prompted. He jumped when a sound caught his attention. There was movement further in the corridor. Blades typically seen in tests, meant to be turned off or dodged. Past it? There was another figure, though harder to see.

“In subject terms? Bad. Very bad.” Pidge commented. “I suggest listening to what I say and following my instructions without fail.” She looked to Lance. “My first instruction-”

“I’m gonna take a guess and say run!” Lance grabbed Pidge by the hand and ran off in the opposite direction, pulling her along; it was a good thing that despite her data being put into the device around his arm, her body, as one could call it, was still functional and able to move.

Again, thank you so much for this opportunity!

[whatiwillsay]

So I found that post on Instagram and the one on the left was from the fearless era! “You drew stars around my scars.” People initially associated that bit with Karlie because of the pic on the right, but maybe it isn’t. I recently claimed Cardigan for Dianna (still stand by it) but since Taylor talks about long lost love, she could be referencing Liz as well maybe cause she’s WB?!? Cardigan is about Dianna and perhaps Taylor tips her hat to Liz too maybe?

submission⬆️⬆️⬆️

i think drawing stars around someone’s scars MAY just be a reference to someone taking care of someone else when they’re hurtng

we always try and point taylor’s lyrics back to specific public moments in her life but in all honestly 99% of what taylor goes through with her significant others happens in private so we aren’t always going to know what she’s referencing

all that said i think half the fun of gaylorism is wildly speculating and trying to make these connections so i am all for it

i think folklore is a whole big look back at her whole life so i think there’s ferences to all her past partners in one way or another.  cardigan especially feels like it’s a longing look back at multiple old loves...just that nostalgic look back at the person or people who chose you over others. so given that yeah there very well may be a bit of the song that’s about liz in there!

as for the star sticker/tattoo things- it looks like that’s just a cute little something taylor likes to do from time to time but still very interesting and a good find!!!