#i loooove portfolio day

[gaydexvocaloid]

hi!!! i draw vocal synths with my finger and i make covers :33 maybe consider supporting me!! ^__^

[despairforme]

      He made pancakes and two of them didn’t burn.

[cozenveil]

HAIIIII HELLOOO :333

Welcome to my blog!

:3

I'm Veil ! I also go by cozenveil, Serenova or Dani. ✨️

I'm a self-taught, gothic, nonbinary concept artist, fan-artist and writer who loves dark academia vibes, prohibition-era aesthetics and gothic atmospheres. In my work, I try my best to get across my biggest priority, which is the importance of identity and self-expression, especially as an enby.

I'm also working on many different projects. My biggest project is a personal story I'm creating, titled "La Favola Di Domani." For a better glimpse into what it's about, check out the summary on my Carrd page, in the "Projects" section. 🤍

In short, it's a gothic, non-linear, multi-perspective action thriller in prohibition-era America where many characters seek what they believe to be true enlightenment, and the immoral lengths they'll go to attain it. 🕯

Aside from this, I also have plans for MAJOR A.U. fanworks that I'd like to create full-length graphic novels out of. The three most notable ones are for;

Sonic The Hedgehog,

Klonoa,

and JoJo's Bizarre Adventure.

You can expect the Sonic and Klonoa ones sooner than later, since I've done considerable work for them already! ~

Here you'll find mostly my art, since I tend not to reblog much, but I may reblog random stuff from time to time. I also have a tag for my art, if you'd like to browse that.

I don't quite know where to fit this in, but my BIGGEST interests include;

Games:

Castlevania, Kingdom Hearts, Sonic the Hedgehog,

Klonoa, LittleBigPlanet, Final Fantasy, Sly Cooper,

Spyro the Dragon, Zelda, Mario,

Blinx the Time Sweeper, Mega Man, Ape Escape,

Devil May Cry, Bayonetta, Kirby, Guilty Gear,

Ace Attorney. 💙

Anime:

Dragon Ball (all), Fullmetal Alchemist, Baccano!, 91 Days, Mob Psycho, Dungeon Meshi. 🧡

If you like any of these, pleeeease feel free to contact me so we can gush about our favorite franchises together. I'm typically really shy but I loooove meeting new people and making friends so yeah! Erm! reach out and dap me up!! Chances are I will reeeeally like you (i am very easy to please (and also quite obsessive))!!

Finally, if you enjoy my artwork or writing, please consider helping an enby out by commissioning me or donating to my Ko-Fi. All of my commission info is listed in my Carrd page, under the "Art Commissions" section. 🤍✨️

I'll likely be back to update this post, but uh, yeah! Muah! Thank you for the support and I hope we can be besties. 🤍🖤🤍🖤🤍✨️

[skzhocomments]

The Boundless Sphere of Fate - Lee Taemin - Chapter 6 - A peace offering

General masterlist

Story masterlist - please consult it for the summary of the story, trigger warnings etc.

Wattpad + AO3

Chapter 5 | Chapter 7

---

Chapter 6 - A peace offering

word count: 1.7k words

~present day~

~third person POV~

“Okay, Miss, I think we’re done here with the measurements. We will get back to you as soon as we’ve made the plan with an estimated cost.” A man in a blue jumpsuit speaks. He is sporting a slightly too large beer belly, which makes it difficult for him to bend.

“Blair, what’s going on?” Taemin asks with a tilt of his head, but Blair doesn’t pay him any mind.

“Thank you so much!” She says to the man instead. “I can’t wait for this room to be ready.”

“What are you doing to my room?” Taemin asks again, but Blair doesn’t pay attention to him yet again.

“I bet.” The man laughs happily. “It’s gonna take up to 3 weeks until we get everything ordered and installed.”

“That’s not too bad.”

“You’re lucky, it would usually take way longer but we don’t have many orders coming in as of late. By the way, is there any other room you’d like remodelled? I can give you a discount for choosing to work with us on multiple rooms.” He winks.

“Oh, not right now, thank you though. I’ll surely call you up if I change my mind, though.”

“Eh, you know how it is when business is slow! You try to persuade others!” He laughs.

“Indeed. Such a shame you don’t have as many clients lately, though. I’ve seen your portfolio. Your work is amazing.”

“Thank you. Can’t wait to add this beautiful piece to it.” The man looks at the large walls and grins. He seems happy.

“I’ll wait for the price quote then, and I’ll see you in a few weeks?”

“Rest assured Miss, we’re gonna move as fast as we can!”

The man finally goes back in the hall and starts putting on his shoes, which makes Taemin desperate to know what’s going on.

“Blair. Blair. Blair? Blair! BLAAAAIR!”

“Thank you for coming, and drive safe!” Blair smiles and waves the man off, who leaves with a smile on his face.

“BLAAAAAIR”

“What?!” She turns to Taemin with an angry expression, which then turns cheerful as she starts laughing. “You’re so loud, Taeminnie. The man can’t see you, did you forget?”

“Of course I didn’t.”

“So why are you trying to talk to me when he’s here?”

“I’m bored.” He grins.

“You little shit.” She laughs and pretends she’s about to hit him, and he moves back, playing along.

“So so so so, what are you doing to my poor room?”

“Uhm, you mean my room. And I told you already, I’m redecorating. It can’t stay empty forever.”

“Redecorating how? My poor dance studio!” Taemin fake-cries and covers his face with his hands, shaking it. “What could that man possibly measure the whole wall for?!”

“A bookshelf.” Blair shrugs. “I was thinking of making a reading room.”

“Yea, cause you loooove reading. I don’t think I’ve ever seen you pick up a book since you moved here.”

“Hey, mind your own business!” Blair retorts, and both start laughing.

“So, shall we watch a film?”

“Oh my, Taemin, it appears you enjoy the perks of new-age technology.”

“When I was your age-”

“Grand-grandpa.”

“Don’t be rude, old lady.” He laughs. “When I was your age, you’d usually have only one single movie in the theatres for a few consecutive months. The whole city knew all the lines by heart.”

“Really? Do you remember what it was about?”

“Oh, no, I don’t remember. I’ve just seen it a million times. Of course I remember, dummy! It was a sappy romance about a man who sacrificed everything for love.”

“Oh wow, truly sappy.”

“All the men in the theatre were excited because the woman was wearing this low-cut neck dress and her boobs were bomb.”

Blair rolls her eyes.

“Wow, men are sooo mature!”

“Says you, who keeps photocards of random men in your wallet.” Taemin retorts.

“Hey, that’s different! They are my inspiration.”

“Is that code for ‘just horny’?” He mocks.

“Shut up.” Blair laughs.

“Speaking of horny, how is it at work with the ugly dude?”

“You mean Brian? Awkward as hell.” She grimaces. “He thankfully hasn’t told anyone about what happened-”

“He must be just as embarrassed as you, if not more.”

“Why would he be?”

“I mean, dude knows he’s ugly as fuck, and he got kicked out by the girl he likes. It sounds pretty traumatic.” Taemin shrugs.

“Oh, come on. I don’t think he likes me or anything. We were just drunk and horny and took it back to my place, that’s all.”

“Sure, sure. Haven’t you tried explaining, though?”

“Explaining what? That I see ghosts?”

“Yes.”

“Fuck, no.”

“Why not? I think it’s the coolest shit ever.”

“Coolest shit ever? Taemin, you’ve been watching too many American shows on Netflix.” Blair chuckles.

“Well, what else am I supposed to do when you’re away from home?”

“What have you been doing when I wasn’t living here?”

“Messing up with whoever was living here.”

“Child.”

“Hag.”

“Ugly.”

“Ugly?! I’m not ugly!” Taemin’s eyes grow wide. “Stop making that face at me! Ugh, should I break another one of your coffee mugs?!”

“Please don’t. It took a while to clean up and I cut myself.”

“Oh, sorry…”

“No, I actually wanted to talk about this. I’m the one who’s sorry. I was pretty mean to you that morning. Why or how you died is none of my business. I know it’s a sour subject for you-”

“You think?” He chuckles. “It’s just the reason why I’ve been stranded here for a few decades or so, nothing much, ha-ha.”

“I’m really sorry, Taem. I didn’t mean to put salt on the wound.”

“It’s fine.” He waves his hand in the air. “Whatever.”

Blair starts walking towards the kitchen and pours herself some water.

“Do you think… I could help you with anything?” She asks while filling the glass.

“Depends, are you willing to kill for me?” He asks in a serious tone.

“What?” Blair almost spits out her water.

“Joking!” He laughs. “Well, not really. I was waiting until eventually, hopefully, someone related to the man who killed me would move into this house. He’s probably dead, so… a son, or grandson, or something, would do.”

“You know the chances of that happening are so low, it would be more possible for me to win the lottery and become a billionaire?”

“I guess so. It hasn’t happened so far.” He shrugs. “And it probably won’t happen anymore until you die or sell the house. Or who knows? Maybe you’ll marry one of his grandsons and he’ll move here.”

“I doubt it. But even so, how would you know that whoever moves in is that man’s relative?”

“I assume I must feel something if that happens, right?”

“I don’t know.” She shrugs. “Ok. Let’s say someone does move in and you somehow know it’s that man’s relative, or whatever. What would you do?”

“I haven’t gathered all this power for nothing.” Taemin shrugs this time. “I’d kill them just as he killed me. I would stab them.”

“’Gathered’? Wasn’t your spiritual energy always this high?”

“No.” Taemin chuckles. “The first decade or so I wasn’t able to interact with anything. It was boring as heck.”

“Then? What changed? How?”

“I don’t know, I just… I started trying to touch things, and it eventually worked. Now I feel stronger than ever. Of course, I still can’t touch humans, but…”

“Mhm.” Blair nods. “That’s so weird. I’ve met ghosts who can interact with objects, but not every day, and definitely not with every freaking object in the house. Maybe it’s because you’ve been dead for longer?” She contemplates.

“How would I know? I didn’t even know ghosts were real until I became one.”

Blair laughs as both head into the living room and plop themselves down the sofa.

They keep talking and talking, and Blair figures out that Taemin is not as bad as she initially thought, and that maybe giving her ghost-roommate a chance wouldn't be such a bad idea.

~

~a few weeks later~

“Why would you need big ass mirrors for a bookshelf?” Taemin whispers next to Blair, as if the men that were furnishing the room could’ve somehow heard him.

Blair doesn’t respond, which irritates him, but he understands she can’t really talk to him when other people are present. He’s heard a few of Blair’s horror stories of when other people found out that she sees ghosts – specifically those about her time in school or in the psych ward in the hospital, and he couldn’t believe that people were so weird when it came to the supernatural.

Of course, thinking back at his time alive, he probably would’ve thought someone like Blair was a witch for being able to see and communicate with ghosts, but watching her day-to-day uneventful life made him realise that, despite this weird, unexplainable ability she had, she was just a normal woman.

“Can’t they leave already so you can talk to me?” Taemin asks, making Blair softly chuckle.

“Did you say something, Miss?” One of the men asks.

“No, no, nothing at all. Please continue. Would you like some water?”

“Yes, please!”

The men continued working for about one more hour, and when the room was finally done, it didn’t resemble a reading room at all.

“Blair, what is this?!” Taemin asks, shocked.

“My olive branch to you.” She grins.

“No way…” Taemin looks around in disbelief.

“Oh wow, your reflection actually appears in the mirror.”

“Only you can see it, though.” He chuckles. “Just as you see me.”

“So, do you like it?” Blair looks around as well, satisfied with the results. She never thought she’s going to build a dance practice room in her house, but oh, well, life is truly unexpected.

“I can’t believe you’ve done this.” He grins and seems happier than Blair’s ever seen him. “It’s not similar at all to my old room, but… this works.”

“Don’t be a prick.” Blair warns, and both start laughing. “With this, you’ll hopefully not get bored anymore when I’m at work. I’ll put a TV in here as well, since I know you can interact with it, and you’ll be able to dance as much as you want.”

“This really is great.” Taemin smiles. “I’m so, so happy, Blair. Thank you!” He throws his arms around the girl, but, of course, they just pass through her. “It really sucks not being able to touch one another.”

“It does.” Blair nods.

“AHA! So you WANT to touch me! Knew it!”

“Yes, I sooo wanna smack that head of yours, you idiot!” Blair runs after Taemin, and he plays along and runs away from her, and they keep running around the room, the large mirrors on the wall capturing this sweet moment shared between them.

---

Chapter 5 | Chapter 7

[battle-of-alberta]

OCtober: Cal and Ed

It’s finally over. I’m sorry for the delay but stuff has been Happening. If there’s a tourism site that attracts you more to one city or the other, let me know.

Calgary | Edmonton

Below is some meta stuff about the ‘research’ (if you can even call it   that, it was more of a vibe check) I did for re-doing the profiles. Read  on, if it intrigues you. And I gotta mention there’s a bonus rabbit hole I went down for Calgary’s self-image that is. Well. A Lot.

Major Cities: Calgary and Edmonton

We made it team, the heart of the Battle of Alberta, the major city rivalry that defined generations. Calgary is the largest city in the province and the centre of southern Alberta, a young, fast-paced major city that oscillates wildly between boom and bust and is attracting both attention and employees from the traditional major cities in Canada. Edmonton is the capital of the province and the the most northern major city with a metro population of over one million on the continent, a little older and more blue collar, somewhat more stable economically, and quickly rising to meet the challenges presented by open data and sustainable urban planning. And, as we know, they've been antagonizing each other since the 19th century, but collaborating as well.

Website Round Up Premise

While I was revisiting these character profiles, I took a look at how cities represented themselves on their municipal sites and tourism sites rather than how cities were represented in the news or in stereotypes, as the latter already tend to live in the back of my head. I was interested to see who the target audiences for each city were, what they considered their strengths, and how much effort each city put into putting its own identity on display. I was also interested into what ideas sort of fed into any pre-existing confirmation bias I had about each city's personality as well as interested in what narratives might be used to counteract negative stereotypes.The first thing I tended to notice was the overall information architecture of each city's website. How easy were they to navigate? What kinds of information did they have? How did they organize it? How did they communicate that information?

Out and About

There's a sharp difference between the websites of major cities from other cities. They are very careful to separate the corporation of 'The City of' from the cities we might know, and therefore both websites have a much more business-like tone and more distance from their civic identities. This means no traditional "About" pages as other cities might have.

At the time I'm visiting, Edmonton's page has some ADORABLE art of a nuthatch that's making me very homesick. Calgary has a seasonally appropriate snowy skyline.

Calgary does have an "Our Organization" tab which describes the City as a corporation, and likewise Edmonton has a "City Government" tab that performs a similar function. Edmonton's is in alphabetical order which is only a little annoying and Calgary's reads like a very perfectly chunked business portfolio that doesn't... really say as much as it looks like it does, but it does get bonus points for vision/organization/accessibility.

I have never seen a more concise history of Calgary in my life. It's literally three bullet points and a couple of bracketing sentences, but it does do the job. Calgary is, more or less, what it says it is (although I do take slight issue with its self identification as a trading post - it may have functioned that way but that was not what it was founded for and in fact the trading companies gtfo'd asap in those early days). It goes on to paint a very good sketch of the city in as few lines as possible in the text, and there's a little video at the end that feels like it was voiced over in 1988 even though it's clearly not.

Edmonton's City government page is even vaguer. Let's make a more dynamic and resilient Edmonton shall we, the page suggests. Resilient against What Exactly, I wonder. Winter? The boom-bust? Calgary? who knows. The majority of the sub pages are even more mysterious and essentially paint the picture of a city. It's a normal city. Trust us. We do city things. Here is exactly how government works and how to raise and lower a flag. In Edmonton, which is, in fact, a city.

I'm begging you if you think Calvin is hokey and annoying please read the Our Culture page and see it's EXACTLY how I intended to portray him because it's eXACTLY what it's already like. "The Four C's of Our Culture" give me a break.

Edmonton offers me a picture of the skyline and says "City of Opportunity: City of You". I suppose this is true. I don't know what it means. I fear slightly for its intentions.

I keep seeing "Calgary: A great place to make a living, a great place to make a life" and it's like. Stop! I won't go! You can't make me! (and again the Strong and Resilient Calgary. these kids are always catching colds because they don't eat properly.)

Although Edmonton makes literally zero attempt to define itself (outside perhaps the official symbols page hidden under Facts and Figures), what strikes me is that it is portraying itself as a very future-oriented city, which, when I was growing up we really never were. We were an inward city constantly wishing we were somewhere else which is partially still true, and we were a city with such an intense nostalgia (that unlike Calgary we failed to really capitalize on) that grated roughly against a complete failure to preserve history. It does kind of make me glad that the city is looking towards the future and just like, acknowledging basic realities (like snow) and trying to involve people in urban planning more (and throughout the website the city LOOOOVES to share data which I also called, haha). There's also an adorable animation of the city road map in its strategic planning pages. It's interesting that for a city that leaves itself up to your own interpretation, it does have a LOT of information about itself collected and available.

Tourism

Oddly enough, neither city has substantially changed their tourism homepage to accommodate COVID-related staycation plans, although each does mention that many things may be closed or unavailable as a result of the pandemic.

CaLGARy, Be PaRT of THe EnERGy!!

I like how Edmonton's self-presentation is "original" and "we do things differently". It's like a Keep ___ Weird thing but in an understated self-assured way that makes me laugh a little. Like yeah, I guess we are kind of different, I guess we're just not used to seeing that as a good thing.

In the tourism guides there isn't much to say about Calgary's that isn't just "oh, classic Calgary" but I do think the fact that they have "quick facts" to explain what timezone it's in and what currency they use is adorable to say the least. also the title of the guide is CALGARY (and the canadian rockies) and that sums up Calgary pretty well, which I'll elaborate on more.

I actually can't find Edmonton's guide, if it has one, but that's ok. The website hits all the buttons that I would and I actually use exploreedmonton quite frequently because it has a nicer event calendar than the city website does, which is important in a place nicknamed Festival City. I really appreciate how things are organized by month/season and even down to "what's happening today/tomorrow/this week" because it makes planning trips for my visitors easy, so now you know my secret : ) I wish I could just beam this site directly into people's brains when they mention "oh yeah thats where the mall is" when I say I'm from Edmonton.

Interestingly enough it's Calgary's turn to be vague, which I can only assume is part of its "exactly what it says it is" charm. This desperation to find a shred of self-description outside of things to do and places to stay led me down a rabbit hole I will elaborate on in a moment that truly showed me I Knew Nothing about how deep Calgary's branding goes. Otherwise, the website is very practical and functions more like an answer to questions you had about the what and the how and less so the why.

Also, the "Locals" page on Calgary's site has tips on hosting friends and family from around the province safely during the pandemic which is kind of cute. Edmonton doesn't really have a local page (i guess because if we had a hashtag like #loveyyc we'd ruin it)

Bonus: The Rabbit Hole

I wondered why Calgary's tourism page, which I expected to be the most in your face description of the city possible, fell kind of flat. I learned this seems to be because tourists are not the target audience that Calgary wants to attract. It's companies and corporations, and they get their own page.

Boy oh boy do they get their own page

This led me down this frightening path of getting validation like being repeatedly punched in the face by what On Brand Calgary truly means and I'm frankly quite speechless about it - all I can say is that you need to see it for yourself.

The tourism site gestures to a Billion reasons why you should hold your next meeting in Calgary and here is where the self definition as Big City Energy and Western Hospitality starts kicking the tires and lighting the fires. Likewise with the media-oriented page. Suddenly stuff like the Calgary Bucket List starts popping up and I can't help but go hang on, why not suggest this to tourists?

"It's cowboy spirit, but also refined and cosmopolitan" [sighs into hands]

Suddenly all the "Calgarians love visitors! Calgarians love the outdoors!" stuff is spilling out like water from a dam here. "Where's Calgary?" [Link that reads FIND US].

Like i literally feel like the tourism side on the left is the Kids Menu, it's the corporate stuff on the right that I'm actually finding the type of information I want on. Eventually, I somehow make my way to Calgary's Destination Strategy which is trying to make Calgary a place that... well, people go. Like, internationally. Like the Olympics but MORE of that.

Then I find the Brand Evolution. Then I find Calgary's Economic Development site. The poetry about rocky mountain prairie skies and "where a handshake still means something" starts to reach its peak.

Then back through the tourism site I find the video. And the video makes me shake because it suggests the premise of The Powerpoint.

The Powerpoint. I cannot summarize the powerpoint in any meaningful way or how my emotions were a rollercoaster further and further up and down the longer i scrolled. Everything I know and suggest about Calgary seems to be unequivocally true, including the sense that Calgary as a person is the sort of person who makes powerpoints about his own identity crisis because that's precisely what this is.

And then I get to the part of the powerpoint that suggests I imagine what kind of person the city of Calgary might be (and implied: does that person think about anything other than the mountains???) THEY EVEN DID AN OCEAN PERSONALITY TEST FOR THE CITY I KID YOU NOT

Hi, City of Edmonton, hire me to take an OCEAN test for our fair city. I'm begging you.

[izupie]

Okay! Ask game! I pick 1, 13, 19, 35, and 47!

Thank you for the ask from this fanfiction ask game!

1. What was your first fic and could you stand to reread it today?

My first ever fanfiction that I ever wrote - before I even knew what fanfiction was - was a self-insert YuGiOh story I wrote because I was a little kid with an imagination and a pen and I wanted to interact with my favourite characters.

Which is why I will never be mean about kids writing really cheesy self-insert fics. Let them have their fun!

I still own this notebook and honest to god it’s the funniest read ever. Sometimes I get nostalgic about my writing and I’ll reread it just for a laugh. There’s an iconic line in it that me and my friend lose our minds over - if I just say ‘Cause she shouted...’ at any time to her she will immediately just shoot back with ‘mega loud!’

It’s a great read ahaha h a h a

In terms of my first actual published fanfiction it was a Kingdom Hearts fic I put on FF.net and it reads with all of the excellent tropes and cliches a 12 year old can write. It’s horrific! How weird that I can read the one I wrote as a really young kid, but not the one I wrote as a 12 year old ?

13. What’s the biggest change between your style when you started in fandom and today?

A bit of a neat segue from the previous question is that my style when I first started publishing fanfiction was full of all those typical ‘just starting out’ stuff like describing people based on their hair colour instead of just using their names. THE SILVER HAIRED TEEN did this. THE BRUNETTE did that. oh yes. I went there. Describing people’s eyes as ‘orbs’ 

and

holding a breath

they didn’t even know 

they were holding

(Oh wait I still do that one)

I kept it very simple, lots of dialogue.

Now I try to get inside my characters heads. And I loooove to describe simple acts, but as something pretty or important - like watching a character getting ready or eating lunch in a Ghibli movie. And I guess I’m more adventurous now, and willing to be flexible with my ‘style’. (Though I can’t really describe what that style is - does writer struggle to capture the essence of their own writing style???)

19. If you had to pick one fic/scene/chapter of your work to describe your entire portfolio to a stranger, which would you pick?

I’d pick Ochako entering the cafe and finding Izuku there in Beep Beep Beep. In my head it’s probably my favourite thing I’ve written - really atmospheric and my heart clenches whenever I think of that whole scene. Probably that whole last chapter makes me want to cry with sentimentality.

I’ll add it under a cut~

----------

“What the…” she breathed. The whole café was covered in strings of fairy lights – even more than usual – winding and twisting over the tables and chairs, dripping over the counter and draped over the plastic planets hanging from the ceiling. Softly glowing spots of silver shone through the darkness and bright lights like stars were being projected onto every surface. Ochako lifted her hands in awe to see the spots of light on her skin. It looked like she’d just fallen into the night sky.

It was beautiful.

She looked around, mouth still open slightly, and noticed the ‘stars’ were being projected from a glowing ball in the centre of the room.

Ochako softly closed the front door behind her and began to walk over to the projector, wondering why Mina had set this up, when she noticed a figure standing nearby, nearly hidden in the dark shadows cast by the lights.

She yelped in surprise and grabbed a chair, brandishing it in front of her. “Who’s there?”

“Ah! N-No- Wait, Ochako, it’s okay- it’s just me! It’s just me!”

She could barely make out the figure that jolted forwards quickly and dropped down to crouch by the projector, but the voice was achingly familiar. She heard a few clicks and the starry lights illuminated the café more brightly, making it so that she could see the figure clearly as he stood up and rubbed the back of his neck.

Ochako replaced the chair slowly.

“Izuku?”

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to scare you. I was going to say something- but you looked so, um… so pretty standing there and I…”

Ochako wasn’t sure who moved first. But within another beat of her heart, so loud in her ears, they had pulled each other into an embrace. She buried her face in his chest, arms tight around his middle, and gripped onto fistfuls of his soft hoodie. His strong arms squeezed her against him, and he lay his head on her shoulder.

Together at last.

It was like everything she’d been feeling for him came crashing through her in waves all at once; that initial spark, gratitude, friendship, fondness, admiration, affection… She’d missed him so much. Though they’d only been apart a few days but her longing to talk to him and be close to him had only grown with each day that passed.

She inhaled deeply and snuggled into his warm embrace. His clothes had picked up the subtle tang of coffee that permanently lingered in the café.

“I thought you had to work tonight,” she eventually managed, though it still came out as barely more than a whisper into the soft material of the hoodie over his broad chest.

“I was supposed to be.” He turned his head slightly so that his breath tickled the skin on her neck.

She shivered, despite her warmth, and hated that her thick winter coat felt like a barrier between them. She had to resist the urge to just throw it off.

Izuku eventually pulled back gently so that they could look at each other. Silver light kissed the flushed skin of his cheeks, and the projected stars gave him cosmic freckles.

“Someone gave me some good advice. I decided it didn’t matter if the universe just kept on keeping us apart. I just needed to t-try harder.” He brushed a stray flyaway piece of hair behind her ear and stroked her cheek lightly. “Last time I got you a bouquet of flowers, but this time… this time I got you the stars.”

Ochako could feel tears filling her vision and she tried to say something, but her voice stuck in her throat. Something she couldn’t identify passed between their shared gaze, intense and powerful, and she had the sudden incredible urge to kiss him. She might even have done it if he hadn’t blinked and looked away, a vibrant red blooming strongly across his nose.

“Uh, s-sorry, that was kind of corny…”

His hand drifted away from her cheek.

Ochako shook her head violently, scattering the tear drops she had been desperately holding back, and knew they would be catching the artificial starlight as they finally trickled freely down her cheeks.

“No!” she squeaked. ���Nobody has ever said anything like that to me. Ever.” She took a steadying breath, hoping it would stop her voice from wobbling so much. “Nobody has ever tried this hard to get to know me and spend time with me. I-I can’t believe you’d do all this just for me. All of this, it’s beautiful.”

Izuku stared long and hard at her, a smile creasing the skin in the corner of his eyes. “I’m so glad.”

He gently wiped her tears and Ochako’s stomach flipped like the moment of weightlessness that she loved at the very top of a roller-coaster, just as plunges down the track. She felt like her whole body was being held together by the vibrations of the pulse through her veins.

“Although you did nearly attack me with a chair,” he added playfully.

Ochako blushed as she hiccupped and clamped her hands to her mouth. “Ah! I did, didn’t I? I’m sorry Izuku, I didn’t know it was you.” She couldn’t help the laughter that bubbled out from behind her hand.

----------

35. Have you ever written a ship into a fic without meaning to?

I accidentally had Ochako kind of almost slightly crushing on Doctor Shouto in BBB - I couldn’t stop her describing his ‘pretty eyes’ and I was like Yeah Me Too. oops

That’s as far as it’s ever gone though - I am pretty focused and single minded when it comes to writing my ships aaa

47. If someone you know in real life who isn’t involved in fandoms asked to read your work, would you let them? If yes, what would you recommend they read first?

I have had a few people in real life read Beep Beep Beep! A friend from work read it and passed it onto her son who also read it and he drew me some fanart that he printed out and framed for my birthday. I literally nearly just died on the spot. 

Other than the names it’s one of those AUs where it’s kind of it’s own thing - just a really really cheesy romance - so I think it’s fairly accessible even if you don’t know the show? You just lose some of the neat callbacks

[phdmama]

Hi hi! How about 5 & 14 for the fanfic asks, if you’re still doing them? I know I’m beyond late to this party but I loooove reading all these answers! Thank you!

 Oh my gosh, thank you!! I mean - I’m running a fever and drinking wine so sure! :-D You may get more than you wanted, my friend! 

5. You’ve posted a fic anonymously. How would someone be able to guess that you’d written it? 

Hmmm. A friend once guessed a fic was mine because I cut and paste the author’s note HA!! Also. Depends a bit on which kind of fic it is? But if there’s explicit consent, someone comes in their pants, and there are a lot of really long long sentences with enthusiastic comma use, it might be me! I can’t wait to be done with calculus so I can write again!!

14. You’re applying for the fanfic writer of the year award. What five fanfics do you put in your portfolio? 

OH MY GOODNESS!! I love you, you’re just asking me to rec myself?! :-D

Let’s see. 

Even if I’ve sort of moved on from actively blogging about Larry, I definitely stand by my fics in that world, so from Larry, I’d submit:

Feels Like Coming Home (60379 words, Explicit)

The last thing Harry Styles expects when he's hanging out at the Someday Cafe in Somerville one rainy October day is for his ex, Louis Tomlinson to walk through the door, but that's exactly what happens. After a spectacularly ugly break-up three years prior, Harry hasn't heard one word from Louis, and he's moved on. Gotten over him. But having Louis back in his life, not to mention working at the restaurant where he's a chef, isn't easy, and the feelings that Harry thought he'd left turn out to be not so easily forgotten.

This is a story about love and the power of forgiveness, and how the hard choices we make define us, and change our lives.

It's a Better Place (Since You Came Along) (51866 words, Explicit)

When Harry Styles, a mid-level talent, Finder, and small business owner, sets off on the vacation of a lifetime with his best friend, Niall Horan, he has no idea the changes his life will undergo over the next nine days. He's got it all planned - there's going to be shore excursions, lounging by the pool on the deck of the luxurious cruise ship, not to mention margaritas. What he does not plan for are the new friends, new bonds, or the mystery from his past that comes back to haunt him, and he certainly hasn't planned for Louis.

If I Had Three Wishes (They'd All Be For You) (66265 words, Explicit)

When Harry Styles sets off for Provincetown, MA from his tiny hometown of Kerkhoven, MN, he’s facing an uncertain future. He’s always planned to leave, just...not like this. When he meets a gorgeous cabaret performer on his first night in P-town, little does he know how his life is about to change, or how much he has yet to learn. When they become more than just friends, Louis makes it clear he's not looking for anything serious, but at least, Harry consoles himself, they’ll always be friends. Over one extraordinary summer, Harry learns to navigate life on his own through a journey of self-discovery and sexual awakening. But when Harry’s past tragically reappears in his life, will his friendship with Louis be able to hold on?

And in the Drarry fandom, I’d submit:

Come Rain or Come Shine (I'm With You Always) (35240 words, Explicit)

1: After the war, Draco doesn't know where to go, he just knows that he can't stay in England. When he is given an unexpected chance to take a year as a student at the Western Wizarding University in San Francisco, he leaps at the opportunity. This will be his chance to break away from his family and his past to find out who he is. His first term does bring surprises, not the least of which comes in the form of his new suitemates. He never expected to study biology, or cut his hair, or watch the sun set over the Pacific Ocean. And he never expected Potter.

2: After the war, Harry doesn't know where to go, he just knows that he can't stay in England. When he's given an unexpected chance to take a year as a student at the Western Wizarding University in San Francisco, he leaps at the opportunity. This will be his chance to escape the mobs, his future as an auror, and the expectations of the wizarding world to find out who he is, even if it's only for a year. His first term does bring surprises, not the least of which comes in the form of his new suitemates. He never expected to find his courage again, to figure out what he wants, or to watch the sun set over the Pacific Ocean. And he never expected Malfoy.

(We'll Call This Fixer-Upper) Home (52520 words, Explicit)

Draco Malfoy hasn’t set foot on English soil in ten years. After the war, he fled to America, where he found himself in a community, and healed himself through following his heart into music. He’s now the lead singer and songwriter for an internationally known band, who have come back to headline the Wiltshire Music Festival. But as Draco is about to learn, his past isn’t as far away as he might have believed, and his future may hold more than he ever could have dreamed.

I think what all of these fic have in common is that they’re my longer works, they’re pieces I worked on over multiple weeks or months, and really poured so much of myself into. I am proud of my shorter stuff too (I wouldn’t post anything publically that I wasn’t proud to claim), but those are easier for me, I think? All of these fics are things that are so dear to my heart because I worked SO HARD on them. And it means so, so much to me that there are people who’ve enjoyed reading them!

[greatwonfidence]

Just piggybacking off of the other art dude- yoo! How do you like massart? They just gave me a portfolio review the other day :0

i loooove it omgg… they had tours going on the other day and it made me think of when i toured and instantly fell in love with the school :’) hope your portfolio review went good!!

[call-me-maggie13]

Ooh this is gunna be fun

1) I have a lot of passion projects but the main one atm is a book I’m trying to finish writing before I graduate.

2) I can speak Spanish and English practically fluently (I’m not good w slang in either language even tho English is my first 😂) and my uncle’s mom is teaching me German so I understand basic commands and greetings and such in it.

3) the last book I read was The Last Good Day Of The Year by Jessica Warman for the fourth time.

4) I think I’d want to go to Switzerland or Peru bc I love both of their cultures and they have a lot of mountains.

5) this is a cliche but Luna Lovegood is my fav ever; Waverly Earp from Wynonna Earp, Laura Hollis from the Carmilla web series; Spencer Reid from Criminal Minds and Leslie from Bridge to Terabithia.

6) I really miss the 2003 Strawberry Shortcake cartoons.

7) I wish I could sculpt so bad omg

8) McDonalds once made bubblegum flavored broccoli.

9) my favorite subject would have to be either history or biology but honestly, I couldn’t tell you which.

10) Venus

11) Agent 355 because of all of the badass mystery that surrounds her.

12) probably a unicorn honestly

13) the moon landing was fake and no one will ever convince me otherwise.

14) bubbles is my favorite word to say but I love the word hullabaloo also

15) I’m currently obsessed w flowers and their meanings omg I love

16) I play like 12 but I’m only rlly good at the 3 types of clarinets I play, ukulele and piano.

17) I get really upset with myself when something I make doesn’t turn out the way I expect and then I just destroy The Thing I just made. My art teacher hates it bc my portfolio is practically empty from it.

18) I collect quarters

19) So when I was six, my family moved to Texas and when everything goes to crap, I find myself wondering how different my life would’ve been if I’d never moved to a different state.

20) so I don’t really enjoy the whole “princess needs rescuing from a knight in shining armor” thing so when I was little my abuelita wrote me a fairytale about a dragon and a unicorn that fell into a forbidden love and that has to be my favorite fairytale ever tbh.

21) I dyed my hair pink, purple and blue last year and I LOOOOVED it and I’m probably gunna dye it like green or purple after graduation.

22) I really wanna learn sign language but I’m terrible at signal recognition so I’d really love to learn that.

23) I know how to sail a boat.

24) giving all the money donated to the schools to the athletics instead of the arts bc the arts are just as important as sports.

25) so I took some college courses for a semester and I emailed the professor for all the homework we would have over the course and completed it all in two days.

Ravenclaw Ask Game

Gryffindor | Slytherin | Hufflepuff

1. Do you have a passion project? What is it?

2. How many languages can you speak? 

3. What was the last book you read?

4. Where in the world would you most like to visit?

5. Top 5 fictional characters?

6. Something you miss from your childhood?

7. What skill do you wish you had?

8. Tell us an interesting fact

9. What was your favourite subject in school?

10. Favourite planet?

11. Which historical figure fascinates you and why?

12. Favourite mythical creature?

13. Do you believe in any conspiracy theories?

14. What is your favourite word?

15. Do you have any obsessions right now?

16. Do you play any instruments?

17. What’s your worst habit?

18. Do you have a collection of anything?

19. What’s your biggest ‘what if’?

20. What is your favourite fairy tale?

21. Have you ever dyed your hair? Is there a colour you’d like to dye it?

22. If you could learn one language overnight, which would you choose?

23. What’s the most useless thing you know how to do?

24. What’s the most important change that should be made to your country’s education system?

25. Most ravenclaw thing you’ve ever done?

[spicyhoneyheart]

The Making of Me

Hello again! I've been moving so quickly the past few weeks that finally my body said 'hold on a sec, we're going under maintenance'. So I've just been doing little tasks this week. In bigger news though, I launched my first “Commissions for Cause” event on Facebook! This one is for raising money for the Relief Efforts in Australia. I've had many people reach out to me and say very touching things. It is a great idea. However, I know it's only been active a few days but I was hoping for participants by now. I wonder to myself, perhaps, if people already donated before and I'm just late with the proposition. Maybe having a fundraiser button for only one charity makes it easier. Or, maybe they're still unsure of what to commission. I'm hoping it's the third case! I will host more of these because I love the idea, so even if this one doesn't run successfully I won't be deterred from trying again. If you love my work and want to donate, here is the event: https://www.facebook.com/events/2197153080588836/ Now then, last time I said that I would explain how I ended up where I am. Why an artist, why a printmaker, why a glassmaker? My older brother was the one who encouraged me to draw. He himself was very creative, and he spent a lot of time in visual arts in highschool, but he dropped it in favour of the sciences and a more stable career. He's doing great but he has expressed he wished he stuck to it. But before all that, he and I would sit in the basement and draw dinosaurs. I went on to draw anything and everything, but most of the time I really loved drawing dragons. They had a little bit of everything; horns, teeth, legs, wings, scales, feathers, whatever you wanted. When we had the internet in the house (first computer we ever had was a Windows ME) I looooved looking at other people's drawings. I remember visiting and revisiting one artist's page. It was nothing flashy, just a continuous lists of texts and links showing her drawings over a span of decades. I remember feeling very motivated; “her earlier drawings are like mine, and now they're so good! There's hope for me!” So I kept at it, kept drawing, kept improving. It also inspired me to start drawing digitally, so I got my first pen tablet sometime in highschool. I would spend much of my time drawing fanart of my favourite tv shows and video games, and hey, that's still progress. My parents chose to encourage my artistic career. The only condition they placed on me was that they chose which university I went to. They were paying for it anyway, so I was very grateful for that and agreed. In my final year of highschool, a few of my classmates and I went on an orientation trip to the John Labatt Visual Arts Center for a few workshops. I picked two workshops that greatly interested me: print and glass. Who knew that these two would be the precursor to my medium all those years ago? Print was evident, because that was what I was going to specialize in the next four years. Glass, however, was a funny, specific venture. The person that offered the workshop was a masters student who finished her time there before I entered my first year. I was disappointed, but it fell forgotten during my studies there. My time at Western was... alright. I enjoyed my time but I mostly stuck around in the back of the crowd because my type of art wasn't exactly considered 'fine art'. It was considered “too representational”, “too illustrative”... at the end of it all there was some odd, negative connotation attached to those terms when anyone uttered them in group critique. I was stubborn, though. I strove to improve my skills and followed advice but I never strayed from my style or concepts. The failure to conform did get to me sometimes, since it impeded on potential awards and somewhat isolated me from my classmates, but I did find some good friends who I found things in common with. I was happiest in printmaking. I was charmed by the labour and processes and loved the rush of surprise and satisfaction upon seeing the first printed edition of a project you were more-or-less working in the dark with. It was easy to get lost in, which was my style. Printmaking was also the lowest tier in fine art, for some reason. Maybe it's the idea of the edition, or the ability to apply digital elements to speed up the process, it's hard to say. I know a few classmates who were fantastic, visionary printmakers, yet I had to see them struggle justifying their choice of medium. Everyone has their reasons to make art, and while it can be questioned or its success speculated, whether it's easier to just paint it isn't a justifiable criticism to me. Don't even get me started on what they'd say if you digitally-painted something. The computer doesn't do everything for you, guys. That's all I'm gonna say about that. Upon graduating from Western, I wasn't sure at the time whether I'd be an independent artist, so I decided to continue my education. I applied to the Illustration program at Sheridan College in Oakville. I attended workshops and had colleagues suggest it to me. I remember stopping by the college to drop off my portfolio and application and I wandered to the AA Wing, where the printshop was. I remember looking at it wistfully, then getting intrigued by the glass studio just down the hall. It was empty at the time, and I had no idea that was where I was going to spend the next four years. I got waitlisted by Illustration. I can't tell you exactly why, but I have a feeling that I wasn't cut out for it either based on my portfolio, which was a bit distressing. Neither fine art nor illustration had a place for me? Harsh. I was accepted into my second choice, Craft and Design in Glassmaking, and the college suggested I attend it and wait for a spot to open in Illustration. It never did, but I am glad I took their advice. Okay so, I chose glass because the medium has always appealed to me, but I never actually saw how it was made, let alone in a handcrafted way. When I was very young, anytime my dad took my brother and I to the mall, I insisted on window-watching a glass shop the likes of Svarowski; you know, with all the figurines in the window. I loved the reflections, the facets, the forms, everything. Fast-forward to the orientation field trip to Western I mentioned before. I got to actually see how an artist could morph glass into a shape. The masters student had a torch set up and various examples of their work on display: intricate little trees with jewel-like, colourful leaves. I remember when she let me try, I had such a handle for it that it surprised my classmates (I ended up getting self-conscious and fumbling it, but I still remember it fondly). Then, fast-forward AGAIN, I enter the Glass program. I was initially overwhelmed by the speed and heat of the hotshop, and I had thoughts that maybe this wasn't for me, but the longer I stayed to understand the processes, I started loving it for the same reasons I loved printmaking. And the people!! They were so genuine, so down-to-earth. And just so you know, the masters student from Western ended up being one of my instructors at Sheridan, too! Glass makes the world a lot smaller, a lot more comfortable. I majored in kilnforming, where I specialized in lost-wax casting and enamel/silverstain painting. I also had the ability to minor in something, so to get my printing fix I enrolled in Surface Textile Printing. I was able to let loose and get real messy. In addition to my program, I was able to use the printshop in the Craft Wing in my spare time. I got to explore vitreography for the first time, a combination of glass- and print-processes. Score!! And that's how I got here. I loved my post-secondary educational career, despite the gripes I have with schools acting more like banks than institutions. I still find myself torn between fine art, craft, and illustration, but I've come to accept that it's part of how I approach art. I love and feel all sorts of things, all at various levels of intensity, and the way that I express it will require a method that suits it. I'm content, and while I'm struggling to make things work, I'll keep at it. I'm stubborn, like I said. Next time I think I'll go into what goes into my art and what concepts keep me thinking. Have a great day! Gosia  ​

[julietookoff]

HOLDING DOWN THE FART

It's been a long time since I posted.  Also, it's been a long time since we did anything notable!  Although the summer was long and too hot, we're enjoying Florida and seeing Shorty so much.  I embrace my laziness.  I signed up at CollecToons and Jigidi dot com.  We've been talking about Texas since June, but the date keeps getting moved.  I wanted to leave in the fall; Corny thought November.  We took a nice cruise in December and have Dr. appointments in January.  So far, the hope is to leave February 1, 2019.

We took the Jeep to Ferman's for a REAR differential leak; they replaced the FRONT axle on warranty...and left a drain hose unsecured so Corny had to change the fluid a couple months later.

End of July I took a solo trip in the Jeep to Wauseon, OH for an event.  On the way up I stopped in Frankfort, KY for some Interstate Challenge Finals.  

^I loved the little town of Frankfort, KY

I took my bike and tent for the three day event and stayed at the Fulton County Fairgrounds a few nights.  I rode my bike a lot, did a Poker Run, and traded a bunch of pathtags and stuff.  I’m ashamed to say I didn’t take any pictures.  

After the event I headed east to add some new-to-me states to my geo-portfolio:  PA, NH, ME, VT, MA, RI, CT, NJ, WV and MD.  I did a six state streak in one day with MA, RI, CT, NY, NJ and PA.  I missed DE on this trip.  I couldn't remember why I had rushed home until I checked back on my eMails to Corny.  I was running out of pills.  Now I just need to geocache in DE and Alaska to make it all 50 states.  

^PA State Game Lands 109: monarch on a milkweed.  This is my favorite of all the pictures I ever took.

I have always wanted to get Dolly a guinea pig.  This summer Dolly started having trouble making it down the RV steps.  She is 12 years old . I thought if not now, then when?    We got Piggie in August - just a tiny little thing!  I admit I love her more than Dolly does.  Piggie purrs when I pet her and since Shorty house-sat for us, she squeaks whenever we open the fridge door!  She looooves bananas and broccoli.

In September, Corny took a solo van trip allaway up to Vancouver!  He watched the filming of some "The Flash" and "SuperGirl" shows.  Here are some of his pictures:

^Sink, fridge, microwave.  (Bathroom door).

^ “Almost” queen size bed; T.V.

^Bathroom has a shower, too.  Cassette toilet.

^Under-bed storage with spare tire.  Or for stashing a body.

^Sam Houston grave

^Branch Davidian site in Waco, TX.  A filmmaker was there making a documentary and gave a detailed tour >

^Featured on the Travel Channel.  Between Waco and Ft. Worth>

Not to tell tales, but Corny ate here more than once...

^Las Vegas, NM.  Lots of movies have been filmed here >

^New Mexico, between Las Vegas and Los Alamos

^This is now a public restroom with a dump station nearby.

^Bomb making >

^Near Taos, NM >

^Colorado >

^ Vancouver, B.C.  Steam-powered clock >

Queen Elizabeth Park >

^Tom Cavanagh, directing the 100th episode of “The Flash”

^The Flash (Grant Gustin)

^Carlos Valdes, super genius/nerd on “The Flash”

^Save on Meats, a DDD where Corny admitted to (at least) three beers >

^Kevin Smith, directing “Supergirl”.  I should mention that Corny made it onto an episode of "Supergirl".  He is a blur sitting in a Dairy Queen.

^Stanley Park.  Only a nerd would understand >

Less than a week after Corny got home, I packed for a hotel trip to Ocala for Finder's Fest.  I hadn't registered because I didn't know if Corny would be back in time.  I just popped in for short periods between caches.  Man I got tired quick!  The weather went from summer hot to winter cool overnight - and what a difference it made.  I think I found 5-6 caches the first hot day, and like 25 the second day when it was 20 degrees cooler.  Again, I’m ashamed to say that I took no pictures.

In October, Shorty and I discovered how flooded Tarpon Springs can be when we tried to go to the Sponge Docks for lunch.  Hurricane Michael was passing by.

All three of us went to early voting.  I was listening to Trump's campaign rallies on YouTube every night - sometimes he did them twice a day toward the end.  After the midterms, he seemed to disappear.  I thought he was probably exhausted, but I sure missed seeing him.  Then I thought he must be depressed and hiding.  Finally I realized he was still the same; the media was ignoring him.  If you want to know what POTUS is up to, you have to check Twitter, Drudge and Politico.  I have no interest in who is running in 2020.  I already know who I'm voting for.

Shorty was off work on Thanksgiving so we celebrated at the RV.  I did a turkey breast in the Crock-Pot.  I made real mashed potatoes, dressing, green bean casserole with lots of real onions, root-beer carrots and pumpkin pie.  By the time it was over, I had to take a nap.  My back was aching.  For Christmas we'll be having homemade pizza with red and green toppings!

Our 20-year anniversary cruise on the Norwegian Epic left from Port Canaveral and stopped at Ocho Rios (Jamaica), Georgetown (Grand Cayman), Harvest Caye (Belize), Costa Maya (Mexico), and Cozumel.  Although there were things we thought were less than perfect, it was a very relaxing cruise.  There was no "Promenade" deck - we have always done lots of laps on previous cruises.  There were two teeny-tiny pools for 6000 passengers.  There was no "central" elevator.  They kept using something on the buffet floor that made it as slippery as ice.  Otherwise, we enjoyed the food, the entertainment, and since we had an inside cabin, we would nap during the day then sleep like babies all night.  At Costa Maya I missed a Geo-event at 9am because we slept till 10:30!

^Ocho Rios, where Dr. No, the first James Bond villain, hid out 

^Georgetown >

^ Several hens brought bunches of chicks to get water from an A/C drain

^Harvest Caye.  We enjoyed the giant pool here.

^Costa Maya.  Wow, this place has gotten crowded.  We had a couple beers at an open-air restaurant.

Ship’s Tour:

A few days after the cruise we attended a geo-Christmas party with gift exchange/steal.  I loaded a big bag with my camo'ed pill bottles, Harbor Freight swag and random crap from the Christmas box in the basement.  Corny brought home a very nice travel martini kit with shaker and little glasses!  We only know one alcoholic, and they drink wine.

Movies I've seen since June: Oceans 8, Overboard, Hereditary, Book Club, Action Point, On Chesil Beach. Adrift, Deadpool, Tag, Sicario, Incredibles 2, Jurassic World, Won't You Be My Neighbor. Mission Impossible. The Meg, Slenderman, Hotel Transylvania 3, Disney's Christopher Robin, Eighth Grade, Death of a Nation. The Wife, Alpha, Peppermint, Pope Francis, Searching, Predator, The Nun, Crazy Rich Asians. Smallfoot, A Star is Born, Johnny English, Old Man and a Gun, Halloween, Beautiful Boy, Night School.

Life is Godd! We fit out.

[cottagecrowe]

Tiny Artist Rant

**Disclaimer: Obviously I’m kinda stressed out, so my thoughts are a little messy, and long. I tried to edit this as best as I could, but if something isn’t clear, you’re totally free to ask about it if you feel moved to~!! Thanks~ 💕** 

So when I was taking animation class, I sorta learned the hard way that when I have deadlines for it, it sucks the joy out of it, and the life out of me. At least it does when I don’t have TVPaint.

That’s fine! That doesn’t bother me at all to keep it as a hobby on the side, so I can keep the enjoyment in it~! So lately I’ve just been hyper aware of a lot of weak points about my art in general. (Don’t let that come as a shock, haha. Every artist has something to improve on~ For me it includes the Fundamentals mostly.) The lack of art I have for my shop, the total absence of any portfolios. I really want/need a job/to be commissioned so bad, guys you don’t even know :’ )

I’m not GOOD at anything else, and I feel like if I tried to get any kind of ‘normal job’, I’d just sink into depression from feeling like I’d never have enough time to work towards what I WANT to do. 

And art takes a lot of time! I’m still struggling with figuring out how much time I should devote to chores I have now, chores I’ll have when I live on my own, time to relax and let off steam, spend time with friends, etc., and still spend a good chunk of my day/s doing a reasonable chunk of work. And KEEPING that schedule (whether it’s in my control to or not), is hard. Still need to go to someone to see if I’ve maybe got ADHD or something (idk what it is, but I’m sure it’s SOMEthing. I struggle with doing these things immensely. : / ) 

Anyway, I’d really like to freelance, since right now I’m in no shape to move anywhere. (Kinda need money to do that lol). If I had money to move? I’d move and apply for Cartoon Network or something, probably! (That’s one reason I wanna apply for Yotta, because they’ve worked with them before, and I’d love to have my foot in the door by a small company that’s worked on such beautiful animations!) Though they’re only one studio that accepts freelancers, and while I’d apply for a storyboarder (and loooove to storyboard, don’t get me wrong!), I think my heart will always mostly be in character concept and design. Apparently it’s rather difficult to find a studio that just advertises itself to freelancing character designers :’ ) (I’m sure it would be fine for me to apply as both to Yotta, but I’m also sure I’d get more work as a storyboard artist with them more than anything else. Which is totally fine cause I still love storyboarding, but you see where I’m coming from with this, right?) Would just be nice to know of other studios similar to Yotta that I could apply to and freelance for, is all~ Back up plans and things like that. No one applies for just one job/college after all! 

I’m also worried in general how my art style would even be received by studios, honestly. I’m not at all creative when it comes to horror, barely when it comes to sci fi, or creatures. Most of my stuff is either modern, fantasy, half-human creatures, birds maybe, humans from different time eras, and very ethereal human type forms. And the shapes, IF there’s even any at all (again a weak point I need to work on, but if it comes to VERY VERY cartoony styles (think loony toons), I really don’t have a lot of natural inspiration for that kind of thing? If it’s something like Life is Strange, or Portal, or SU, or The Last Unicorn, then that’s right up my ally, though! Usually, anyway ^^“ I guess you could say it’s a sort of 'aesthetic’ that I’m 'naturally’ good at and get a lot of 'natural’ inspiration for.) 

Idk why, but for whatever reason, I don’t typically tend to see people with art similar to mine doing things like applying for character design jobs for things like this. They’re all already successful enough to pay rent bills by taking commissions and having a shop. Sadly, I’m not lucky like that (yet). So while I can accept that that means, while working for a studio, I WILL end up working on things that I don’t like (not that artists who take commissions don’t have that problem often enough too, but they’re also their own boss and make their own deadlines so they can ease their suffering slightly, in most cases), I am very worried it will drain me like my animation class did. And that was ridiculously awful. I was able to have good discipline for everything but the final 2 months of the last level of the class I took. And I wanted it to be over so much, that I knew very well I was avoiding my assignments like the plague. Of course I still turned them in on time, but I was hardly satisfied with the amount of work I had been able to do by doing that to myself. (And don’t get me wrong, I loved that class and teacher! Wasn’t their fault at all, I just learned something about myself, haha) 

I’m just worried that’ll happen in a job, if I don’t like what I’m working on anymore, or grow sick of it. Regardless of wether I like it or not, I do genuinely have a desire to do a good job, and make the client happy with the work/amount of work I did. It makes it worth it! (Not just the fact that they’ll be paying me, but the fact I know and won’t feel guilty about the fact that they didn’t waste their money.) And worried that’ll start to make me resent art in general (especially if it happens too often). I would l o v e to be able to make a living off of commissions and/or patreon and have a solid enough understanding of composition/perspective/backgrounds to do my own comic novels, and sell prints and stuff, and take commissions, and make enough to live comfortably and healthy. I would love that. I would love to have enough support that I could work on nothing but whatever I want to (not WHENever I want to, but WHAT I want to~!), and have the discipline to get it done as my own boss, more than the times I know I have/will continue to have when that drive just isn’t there. 

So… anyone else relate? Anyone around who lives off commissions that knows this struggle, who can give pointers? Anyone who struggles with this who works for a studio? Anyone who can/can’t relate at all, but wants to be an angel and bring any studios to my attention that’ll hire storyboard artists as well as concept/design freelance artists? :’ ) So I have more than one option when I get portfolios together at long last?

Also if you made it down here, god bless you you trooper, goodness!! And for anyone wondering, my art blog is @godsgirlrachelart