#i live in france okay
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me: wow i can't believe I'm getting sick all the time, my immune system used to be so strong in the past, truly inexplicable
also me: smokes, eats shit on a daily basis, no sleep schedule, debilitated by anxiety, shame and hopelessness 24/7, broke AF, zero academic progress, hoping that reading a book about a bunch of people experiencing every social/existential horror imaginable is going to somehow restore my will to live and do sth
#it's a good thing I have established solid copying mechanisms#don't cancel me for smoking plz#i live in france okay#personal#mental health#mental illness#lmao im having fun though#les miserables#might delete later
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Matthew MacFadyen on why Tom and Shiv are together (with TomShiv backstory crumbs).
“He was able to – we decided that she was in a very very bad way when they met. She’d come out of an awful relationship; a heartbreaking relationship and he was there to pick up the pieces and he was just a solid or a safe pair of hands. And so he quite liked playing that part – playing that role.”
From an interview with Matthew MacFadyen for the Official Succession Podcast S4E7
The dark place Shiv was in has gotten a few additional mentions in the show and interviews. A few additional script (and one interview) excerpts below the cut, as well as some potential detective work on Shiv’s relationship history.
Based on the Season 1 mention of Shiv being "a mess" when Tom and Shiv met, it sounds like Tom entered the story right after or at the tail end of her bad breakup:
And from their fight in "Living +" it seems like TK might have been the guy she had the awful/heartbreaking relationship with:
And just to throw Nate into the mix, this would mean he's at least two guys ago for Shiv (TK and Tom) by the time they start up their thing again.
So I guess if one were mapping out Shiv's relationships (based on what we know) it would be Nate -> TK -> Tom -> Nate 2.0 (diet commitment version).
Also for completeness, a bonus quote of Sarah discussion Shiv's past. (x)
#okay but the thing that gets me is the dialogue in Honeymoon States where Tom references first knowing Shiv and mentions going to her#In France#what was she doing in France?#Did she live there?#Was it a fellowship?#was it a sabbatical?#Is TK french?#I need a full breakdown of the Roy kids various Europe adventures#shiv roy#tom wambsgans#tomshiv#cast interviews#hbo succession#succession#matthew macfadyen#sarah snook#sarah's bit is below the cut
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Read a bit more of stormbringer
#I read the Adam scene towards the end and was like Huh that sounds a bit familiar#stormbringer#fyolai#I LOVE ADAM SO MUCH. ACTUALLY#au where everyone is happy and normal and Adam is chuuya’s adoptive dad and Verlaine is his adoptive older brother living in France with#his French Husband and everyone is happy and okay and alive!!!!!!!!!!!!!#and N dies in a flaming car crash!!!!!!!!!!#Adam Frankenstein#bsd#shitpost#But anyway. I think someone needs to check in on asagiri. Just to make sure he’s doing alright.#also quick stormbringer review this book brings nothing but suffering
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Am I the only one who isn’t that bothered about JQ’s love life? I mean… I don’t know him, I don’t know what he’s actually like. So I can’t say shit, lol? I don’t know her, so I can’t say anything on her either. He’s grown and can do what he wants. I’ve got my own hot mess life to worry about 😂
It ain’t my business ✌🏻
#I was a hardcore evan peters stan when he was engaged to er and dated frances so I’m unbothered by faves lives now lmao#I’ll continue to support JQ unless he does something extremely gross#but the dude is ultimately a stranger to me#I can admire from afar and be perfectly okay with that#he’s also almost 30 and knows what he’s doing#obvs we all have that jealousy but it’s like… not that serious?? lol#I’m more worried about work tomorrow than what he’s doing rn
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Looking at the elections' results and feeling sick. How can all those people vote for the triumph of fascism is beyond me
#looks like it's currently a very european feeling at the moment#france isn't getting a far right minister by the looks of it#but the sheer number of seats they won at the assembly tonight or are likely to win next week is horrifying#we can't call ourselves “the homeland of human rights” and do that#this isn't just about politics#it's about people's lives#real people#and that's terrible#i've been doing great mental health wise recently and it's a really shitty time to feel emotions more easily again#the depression is kinda under control but my anxiety levels are up#i think i need to go outside and scream#not sure the neighbors are going to be okay with it though
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Life would be so much easier if my favorite people didn't live so far away from me actually
#why can't everyone live in the middle of nowhere in france like#I promise it's fun#but NO at the very best you all are like on the other side of the country#I see my best friends twice a year yay#and I can't even call them. nor my boyfriend. because timezones are kicking my ass#okay I'll shut up now sorry#leo's shit
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#need him to be this happy and smiling again#world cup ky (before the final) was G L O W I N G with happiness#he has nothing to be sad about okay#mans is a living legend#kylian mbappe#france national team#world cup 2022#world cup#football#mine*#gifs*#kylianmbappeedit#kylianmbappegifs#footballedit#footballgifs#worldcup22edit#worldcupedit
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a 30 year old woman crushing on vladimir putin rbed the dick-nixon post yesterday
#txt#she thinks jfk was one of the best presidents ever.#SIGHS VERY VERY LOUDLY#idec that much (about the president thing)#i dont even know most of them#but i just. SIGH.#the bay of pigs... vietnam...#his foreign policy was so shit. and what did he leave lbj with -_-#a war that would end up claiming#around 3.8 million lives#and to be fair. okay yes he was just going off of containment etc etc#he didnt want to appear weak#but the leaders of britain & france at the time. grabs jfk and squeezes him until he pops.#WHY DIDNT HE JUST LISTEN TO THEM#UGH!!!!!!!!!!!#ugh#whatever#jfk is so overrated as a president HE REALLY WASNT THAT GOOD i really like his domestic policy BUT THE ESCALATION IN VIETNAM JUST TAINTS#EVERYTHING FOR ME#NONE OF THAT HAD TO HAPPEN#fuck truman fuck eisenhower fuck jfk. fuck all of them#urgh#us presidents
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honestly the greatest epiphany i've ever had is that people are people everywhere you go. it seems really banal to say it like that, and i know many will just shrug it off as obvious, but i do think that if more held that thought in the forefront of their mind, then there would be a lot less suffering in the world. terry pratchett has a great quote about this, and it bears repeating, if ever you find yourself thinking of people as not being people like you, you are wrong. you are wrong you are wrong. people are people, no if ands or buts.
#for the longest time as a little kid i basically thought france was a fantasy land were everyone was cool and collected all of the time#and then i lived there and people were mean and they were messy but they also cared deeply about their close ones and like i had dreams#so did they#and however poorly it reflects on me#i remember being shocked that my host family could have family drama to rival my own#because i guess it just never occurred to me before that other people might be Living the same way that i was#and i'm really grateful that i had that realisation when i did i wish i had had it sooner#because now whenever i hear some blanket statement about a group of people i've not really encountered i just remember#that people are people people are the same everywhere#and that they all have their own trials and desires and people they care about#and i really can't be mad and i can't buy into blanket judgements#i don't know how to get those around me to understand this but almost no one is being a bad actor because they are evil#every one and i mean everyone is just trying to find their own peace#and just#okay idk where i'm going with this but i just wish people would stop fucking fighting all the bloody time#i had to live abroad to learn that and i really fcking shouldn't have had to#personal
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my parents were like there's no residency requirement for your grad school so you could just live in france and it'd be easier (and cheaper) than what you're currently doing so. hrgh. i guess i gotta add that into my 5th/6th year considerations
#sophies ramblings#some schools (often state schools for funding reasons) require you to reside in-state but mine does not and uh. fuck the ny housing market#honestly could even live in nj it'd just mean id have to overnight at sarah's if we're out late but she's usually okay w it#my mom was talking like short term france stays (aka tourist visa) and i could always go to england or something ig
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the fact that it’s so easy to go to france with only the eurotunnel is actually nuts if you think about it tbh like . if you like only live in europe, have experience with driving and have the legality to like have a stable income for yourself to afford the ticket prices etc etc. it’s possible to go to france with the car. im genuinely like horrified…it’s an asininely unreal country to be in. i think if i was born here instead of England I would’ve killed myself for real.
#i COULD NEVER DEAL with the hordes of people asking me like…ohh ur albanian-kosovar and you’re living in France? how is it going there?#i would’ve killed myself for real. like no thanks . being in england is bad enough already cus it’s so full of zionism and the medical#waitings are horrifically expensive. but living in France would be enough to send me to the edge. Sorry guys#im not okay in the head i know.#zionism mention -
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i wish to get married move to france and spend my days doing theatre and cooking spaghetti tacos from icarly
#i can't cook if you couldn't tell#quite literally i can only cook spaghetti#and bake bread but why tf would i do that if i wanna be in france#eat baguettes all day#or something#i really wanna live in france#i've always wanted to lowkey#ouiiii#okay we get it angel#angel being gay
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Aaaaanother TGAA SwapAU stuff and it is my wonderful boy Albert as the prosecutor!!
I've changed some of the designs in this one like the jacket color to white to make a resemblance of a lab coat and reflecting of Kazuma white school uniform, as well trying to bring more Frankenstein's Monster vibe too hehe (aaand make him look more miserable too). He is also have a locket that have a painting of him and his two brothers, it was given by Andrew during his wedding!
I also made bunch of character that related to Swap!Albert's life from 10 years ago, like Andrew(Klint's roleswap) and his other brother Michael, university Barok and Albert, etc. more info about the are there down below 👇👇
First of I wanted to say I'm sorry I can't do full render of everyone here, do that with all of them would be death sentence for me so I couldn't do it 😭😭 Anyway without further ado, I'm going right into it! Start from left to right!
This first one Ryunosuke father replacing as Genshin Asogi. At first while brainstorming I was thinking of maybe do three switch around with Genshin, Jigoku, and Yujin but the it somehow felt weird for me. Then the thought of maybe involving Auchi in this too (like, imagine him being swap with Jigoku wouldn't that be funny and terrifying thought), but discarded that idea out because of Menimemo would have no one to swap with (i have to i'm sorry). Sooo I ended just design him from scratch, he is quite easy to figure out since Genshin doesn't really have much going on with him, but since we don't have any idea of original Ryunosuke's parents at all I have to take idea from something else, and that is his daruma doll for his eyes (he is half blind!! :D) and Phoenix DD/SOJ design (droopy hair and light vest) and everything else is from Genshin. His name is Ryuuki Naruhodo since Ryunosuke is another name for Ryuichi so I want to keep the train going!!
Andrew the screwdriver, oh I missed him- Anyway, I redesign his outfit because tbh his previous outfit is ridiculous 😭 it's funny and fun but I do want to take him seriously now. I'm tried to keep the A shape still but it's less subtle now, I think it turned out okay!! (Oh yeah, his cane is supposed to be a hidden sword but i forgot to put that in the drawing 😭). I was supposed to make his bowtie red like the hair tie but then I realized it will getting rid of the purpose of the hair tie (it referencing the blood on the tip of the screwdriver) so I ended up making it color silver.
The Lady Baskerville, I gave her similar design to Sunny(Herlock!Swap) with the bowtie, color palette to his mascot, and hair on her. I'm not really quite fond with her design, maybe I'll do redesign her again if I got a idea pop up like crazy but in the meantime this is her design.
Guess who is this?? Another one of Albert's tool is here finally!! Michael the crosshead screwdriver! Since we never see Michael anywhere and only mentioned once in the game he is, I'm just draw simple design for him (I wished I could put M shape in the design but I have no idea WHERE to put it 😭 so I tried used the bowtie for it). I also thought it would be nice to make him a defense attorney so I made the design for the badge too. Since he is sadly not going to be mentioned a lot in this AU since I'm trying to make the storyline same as the original, so I made a backstory of what happened in the fun fact tags. There was supposed to be more tool to be added but my god that would be taxing to design, so I have to make only Andrew and Michael as his only siblings.
The doggie Balmung replacement, Bolt, He is a Irish Setter! Beforehand he was supposed to be Borzoi but then research the background of the breed I don't how difficult it is to actually get one in that era so I have to changed breed :((
Albert and Barok in university days!! I just keep same as before like previous design!! There's a tiny change like the hair and the neckties.
There is going to be more content of them soon because I have a lot of ideas for them sooo stay tuned ;)
Here's the concept designs!!
#tgaa#barok van zieks#albert harebrayne#tgaa2 spoilers#the great ace attorney#swap au#genshin asogi#klint van zieks#ryuuki naruhodo swap au#andrew harebrayne swap au#michael harebrayne swap au#<- once again i still cannot believe i made Albert's screwdrivers a thing in this au and just says they're both good siblings and ryunosuke#<- father is supposed to be his daruma. i'm having fun with this but also omg#lady baskerville#fun fact: Albert has a vast knowledge about bugs as he is fascinated by nature. He learned in university day as a side hobby#<- this is my way to replace bats living in his prosecution office. and Kazuma absolutely hated it (he hates bugs in this au)#fun fact: Albert is always sleep deprived and constant migraine 24/7 so because of the he is actually drinking less frequently in court#<- up until Kazuma shows up#fun fact: Albert does read the Randst Magazine of Jane Watson stuffs during his absents and personally enjoys it. But where it comes to#<- Jane herself he absolutely have enough of her bullshit. says that her invention is absolutely bogus and should always just stay in#<- fiction and that made Sunny so mad he ended up called him Grimsy because he says he doesn't deserve the Lord title (but it's okay.#<- later on the grudge is subside and he still called him Grimsy because he likes the nickname he gave him)#fun fact: Andrew actually squint his eyes because he is also nearsighted. He just refused to wear glasses as he kept losing it#fun fact: the only reason why Michael became defense attorney is because Albert suggested it so he could challenge him and argue in#<- the courtroom and he say alright bet and starts learn law stuff. but that never happened as their relationship became sour during Albert#<- wanting to take over the Professor case. Michael have a nag feeling that Ryuuki is not the culprit and they had a fight over it.#fun fact relating to last one: one year later Michael moved in to France as he also got threats and being followed by underlings of#<- defendants that died by the Grim Reaper just because he is related to Albert#this is the longest thing I've ever written about this au so i want to say thank you for reading all of this rambling 💖#teroga's blogs
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i've been researching NONSTOP other unis i can possibly go for an exchange, and it's genuenily making me go crazy.
First, I have to look up all universities that are involved in this exchange program and then crossreference with the list of universities my own uni has a deal with, so I can go there and have a semester without ending up behind another year.
Then, I have to systematically research each uni that has a deal with my uni and find out the study plan for the semester I would be undertaking there, and crossreference each credit each subject has for the semester and see if it would fit with the credits i need to have for my own semester here in my uni.
Then, I gotta research and read the syllabus of each subject to see if they actually fit into my degree or if this degree im researching doesn't actually fit into my own degree (like, the other uni will call their degree Agroagricultural engineering and i study Agricultural engineering, agroagriculture is a subject inside my own study plan but this is a whole ass other degree and it goes deeper into it and like it is agriculture but not really aND AFTER 1.5 HOURS IT TURNS OUT IT DOESNT WORK OUT FOR ME SO WHATEVER. FINE. I'LL ELIMINATE IT FROM THE SPREDSHEET FUCK YOU)
AND THEN, AND THEN I HAVE TO ACTUALLY CHECK WITH MY INTERNATIONAL RELATIONSHIPS OFFICE TO SEE IF THE DEGREE IM INTERESTED IN THE OTHER UNI *IS* ACTUALLY COMPATIBLE (WHICH DEPENDS ON MY DIRECTOR'S MOOD)
AND THEN I HAVE TO FIND OUT AND RESEARCH THE ACTUAL FUCKING HOURS OF EACH PROGRAM BECAUSE I HAVE TO TAKE ELECTIVES IN MOST OF THESE SHITTY DEGREES AND THE FUCKING ELECTIVES CONSTANTLY CONFLICT WITH THE FUCKING SUBJECTS
I AM LOSING MY MIND
#vrill talks#hi welcome to another ''V is losing their fucking mind''#I AM GOING. TO EXPLODE#AND THE WORST FUCKING THING. THE ABSOLUTE WORST FUCKING THING? WE DONT FUCKING HAVE A DEAL WITH PERU#and like listen okay the exchange program gives u money to live but in mexico it can take up to 2 months after u started living in there fo#the money to arrive and like where the fuck do i get the money for living before that#so ideally i don't go to mexico bUT ALL THE DEGREES THAT IM INTERESTED IN AND ARE RELATED TO THE AREA I WANT TO EXPAND ONTO AS A PROFESSION#ARE IN MEXICO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WHAT THE FUCCCCKKKKKKK#also i dont know yet if i want to go to this exchange program bc i am going to participate next semester in a chance to go finish my degree#in france but like i can apply for that while in other country its no big deal#BUT THE MONEY!!!!!!!#god i fucking hate money godbless#anyways i dont show it a lot here on tumblr but i am deeply autistic about my degree and so on#ideal world: i specialize in entomology and i am happy#current reality: i keep accidentally specializing in soil#he l p
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DND cancelled 😭 but also I am so tired and headachey I would have been useless so...
#one of our party decided to go on a bender last night and has yet to get home#hopefully shes okay thats what im really worried about#our friend had a dream she was kidnapped... but hes not the oracle type... hopefully#i had a dream we were all at a TSwift musical so...#and im way more of an oracle than him#hopefully shes fine and just sleeping off a hangover#she parties a lot so she can take care of herself...#unfortunately she lives in france so im not able to just... idk find her easily#shes fine#katy liveblogs life
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i reached too many tags so im writing the rest of my thoughts here hope you dont mind!
i loved the confrontation between heaven and tommy - like i said its born out of worry and comes from a good place initially but also because she's too unpredictable tommy can't control her the way he can everything else and that's one reason he doesn't like her
but also tommy believes himself cursed and maybe she represents that part of himself tommy is afraid of and her mentioning his son i know she's trying to help him but tommy is so untrusting it won't come across as anything other than a threat
and i know i keep saying this but i do like the little bits and pieces of her backstory she's such an intriguing character im looking forward to reading more about her
"you're here" / "told you id come back" 🥺😭😭 and "please tell me you're not scared of your arthur" this beauty and the beast situation but where they both think they're the beast "you look pretty with blood all on your face" so real girl i hear you
love that they both are same level of crazy for eahcother they want to eat eachother so bad love it
Heaven in Your Eyes || Arthur Shelby x Reader!OC
Summary: This is when things seem to get better with the Shelby family —at least with Polly— that a drunk client crosses the line with you at the Garrison. Haunted by his past insecurities and his burning jealousy, Arthur snaps. And he snaps very bad. For the first time since you've met, he reveals the beast he hides inside... And Tommy obviously uses the incident to blame you.
Words: 5k
TW: Angst, Obsessive behavior, extreme jealousy, graphic depiction of violence, murder, lot of blood, canonical violence, witch trial, allusions to smut, allusions to blood!kink, Arthur being an emotional and slightly psychotic mess
Notes:
✞ I don't condone Arthur's behavior. Also, keep in mind that Heaven is certainly a bit twisted too.
✞ Heaven is OP's original character but written with the use of « you » (Moodboard here).
PREVIOUS CHAPTER || Masterlist || NEXT
The sound of your heels hammering the cold pavement of Small Heath echoed in the nocturnal streets as you walked to the Garrison. Even though the expansion of the Shelby Company led the family’s interests away from the pub, they still hold the place dear to their hearts and sometimes they liked gathering there for old times' sake. Especially Arthur. Hence, rather than staying at home, reading in front of the fireplace, and dwelling on Polly’s odd behavior at the last family gathering, you decided to occupy your buzzing mind by surprising Arthur at the pub. A raven flew above your head and cawed, its presence stirring interest in you for he had followed you from the moment you had left your house. As you walked to the Garrison, you took a quick glance at the black bird’s silhouette, which was perched on a roof a few houses away.
"Silly boy, want to tell me something?" You told to it, amused. The animal, dressed with dark feathers, replied with another caw. You chuckled and kept walking.
The white dress and fur coat you were wearing contrasted so well with the dull night that the few people you passed were not sure what they had just seen. Indeed, the moon's glow reflected its light on your porcelain skin, adorning your frail body with an almost supernatural aura. That was why some of them thought they had caught sight of an angel, just like Arthur did the first time you and he met.
When the dark wooden door of the Garrison opened, its noise overcoming the laughter, chatting, and sounds of glasses clinking against each other, a soft wave of warmth caressed your cold face. You had barely stepped inside when people almost all turned around, many pairs of eyes weighing on you. Curious and dumbstruck gazes looked at you, wondering what such a holy-looking creature was doing here — but you did not really care. Your petrifying aquamarine iris swept the room to become familiar with the place before you headed to the counter behind which you saw Arthur’s tall frame. The man was back to you, talking with his little boss-brother Thomas. Awesome, you thought, little King Shelby is here. Sarcasm filled your head at the mere sight of him. To be true, you were well aware that Thomas was always doing his best to avoid you, but it did not annoy you. Quite the contrary, you were more than satisfied with never seeing him — you still did not come to terms with him trying to strangle you after all. Nevertheless, you leaned over the counter, arms resting on its varnished wooden surface, and parted your juicy lips to speak.
“Good evening, Mister Shelby. Care to serve me a drink?”
Arthur’s whole being shivered with delight as soon as he recognized the enchanting and oh-so-peculiar tone of your voice — the same voice that had led him to you one bleak and sleepless night. Shaken to the core by your presence, he forgot about Tommy the moment you had started to speak and turned around to face you, the corner of his lips stretching in a genuine and blissed smile. Each time his steel blue eyes fell on you, it was as if God's grace struck him — even though you were living together. The thrills you gave him never left.
“Good evening, love. What is such a delicious little Angel like you doing here? It’s a bad town for such a pretty face ye know.” He almost cooed with his hoarse voice, his hands on the bar and his eyes sparkling with a teasing gleam.
“Fell from the sky and got lost in these streets, so I just followed the light.” Your fingers grazed the back of his hand and went up its skin, leaving pleasant tingles in their trail, until they reached one of the many rings he was wearing. The simple gesture, barely touching him, lit up a blazing fire in his soul. Thomas looked at Arthur and quickly understood that no matter what he would say or do, he held no power over his older brother anymore, “Evening, Tommy.” You said, finally acknowledging him.
“Thomas. It’s Thomas.” He retorted with a voice as cold as an arctic blizzard that could freeze Hell’s inferno itself. He stubbed out his cigarette in the nearest ashtray and left without any single word, his shadow disappearing in the streets as he left the Garrison, for your sole presence seemed to bother him. Well, at least his opinion about you did not change. However, the lack of peculiar reaction from him reassured you: Polly had not told him what happened to the tea party yet.
“Don’t mind him eh,”
You did not.
“I should probably give you one hell of a strong drink if you fell from Eden… Miss?”
“Heaven Lavey.” You winked, enjoying his silly way of hitting on you as if it was the first time you met, “A glass of red wine would do the trick… And the barman’s heart.” Your teasing grin widened, unveiling perfect white teeth. Arthur let out a long exhale through his nostrils, enraptured by your whole being. From your smile to your bratty pout, you got him on his knees. Each time he would dive his eyes into yours, his heart would quicken in his chest and dopamine would rush through his veins — who would want to keep taking drugs after tasting you? Not even himself. He was already high enough by your presence in his life and God knew he never wanted to sober up from you.
“As you wish.” He leaned over the counter to lay a tender kiss on your forehead. The way his mustache gently tickled your skin made you chuckle. How sweet he was, not afraid to lavish you with sweetness even in front of other people. Then, he gathered all his strength to pull away from you and take care of your order — which was nearly impossible to do, for you were both attracted to each other like two powerful magnets. But still, he did and then poured the finest red wine the Garrison had in a glass before putting it in front of you. Then, he leaned a second time over the counter to bring his face close to yours again, “as for my heart,” he paused, his eyes abandoning yours to drop on your full lips he watched with utmost desire, “You already snatched it, angel.”
“You’re incorrigible, Arthur Shelby.” You could not help but laugh when you noticed that, as you spoke, his focus was still fiercely anchored to your lips. The urge he had to devour them was almost palpable, electrifying the air around him. Yet, you resisted the need to kiss him, rather bringing your small hands to his neck to fix his bow tie with indescribable tenderness. The pair of eyes that were watching you since your arrival could not believe that you had managed to tame the brutal Arthur Shelby — how he behaved with you was so different from the way he was with the others it almost scared them, “I hope you like this little surprise.”
“You can’t imagine how much I do.” He purred, grabbing your hands and putting them on his cheeks. How he loved feeling your cold skin against his. You cupped his face, looking right into his fair eyes with a never-ending love, and he instantly melted. His eyelids half-closed, for you had brought peace to his scorching soul again, “Lemme clean a few things and we’ll go back home eh.”
“Take your time. Je t’attends mon amour — I’ll wait for you my love —“
“Yer comfy here?”
“Arthur,” Your eyes rolled, amused.
“Want a cushion to sit on? Want to wait in a quieter room?”
“That’s okay.”
“Mmm’kay”
You freed his face from your sweet grip, leaving him lingering for more. When he reopened his eyes he could not hold the little growl that escaped his lips for you had not kissed him. He blinked several times, trying to chase away the charm you had cast on him with your sole presence, and reluctantly left you. Stars still danced in front of his eyes because of your intoxicating beauty — so hypnotizing he struggled to come back to what he was doing before.
Waiting did not bother you. In fact, you preferred to wait for hours here, in the comforting warmth of the pub and its hullabaloo, rather than being left alone with your thoughts in the quietness of your house. Sipping on your red wine, you were minding your own business when a man sat next to you, his body collapsing on the stool as if walking had been quite a struggle for him. Which was probably the case considering he was drunk. Only a few people were still at the Garrison, the others went home stumbling or dragged away by a fellow friend. The suffocating smell of whiskey and sweat that was emanating from the newcomer made you wrinkled your nose.
“Hey doll, all alone by yourself? ” The man said, bringing the whiskey glass to his chapped lips to gulp what was left in it. You glanced at him and simply nodded, not really wanting to do any kind of conversation, “Your glass is almost empty. Lemme buy you another one.”
“I really appreciate it but that’s fine.” You answered with a polite smile — but even when doing the bare minimum your angelic traits never failed to captivate your audience. The man noticed your strong accent and saw the opportunity to carry on with the conversation.
“You come from France eh? I fought in France! Bloody hell, still got the mud of this country under my nails!”
Maybe he talked a little bit too loud, or maybe Arthur’s senses were as sharp as a wolf’s, but the fact remains he immediately raised his eyes from what he was doing to watch over you. His steel blue iris shifted their attention from you only to cast their furious fire on the drunk man that was talking to you. His woman.
“You know, I always thought it was kind of sad that all the people here only link France with the war. This is a beautiful country.” You answered, taking another sip of red wine. Somehow, you allowed yourself to talk with the man. At least time would probably fly faster that way.
“If France’s as beautiful as ya, I’ll rush back to it by tomorrow, doll. The name’s Jim.”
You silently replied to him with a light smile, gently shaking your head at the fella’s attempt to compliment you.
You smiled at Jim — And Arthur broke the glass he was holding in his hand. It had been crushed by the pressure with which he had tightened his grip around it until it shattered into bits. Sharp pieces of glass had pierced Arthur’s flesh, blood dripping from his palm, but the tormenting anger that was building within him was so overwhelming he did not even feel the pain. As seconds passed, his face contorted with rage and his eyes darkened with jealousy. You. Smiled. At. Him.
That was definitely not okay — the man did not deserve your blissful smile.
Deafened by the sound of his own heart pounding in his tight chest, Arthur swallowed the lump that had formed in his throat in a vain attempt to keep control. To not let his anger issue show. The rational part of his mind was telling him to keep calm, for he knew you loved him and only him. You had told him plenty of times, after all. And he trusted you, really. But the other part, led by his insecurities and his mental instability, whispered foul insinuations to his ear.
Why would she stay with such a criminal like you? You’re sick. You’re old. You’re broken — and no one loves broken men.
You’re stupid, far less clever and charming than Tommy. HE is a real man.
You either scare or repel women. Linda told you. You don’t deserve Heaven.
Useless. So useless… Broken. Crazy, you’re fucking crazy. She’ll see what you are. A monster. Monster. Monster.
Arthur’s jaw clenched as his mind spiraled into a never-ending maze of whipping thoughts and insufferable feelings. Self-loathing was becoming too much to bear — so messy it had started to drown him. He felt his sanity slowly slipping through the cracks of his skull and the only thing he could to do make it stop was to break things. And by things he meant Jim.
“Listen, Jim. I think you should go back home and rest. This is the whiskey talking.” You stated.
“Only if you come home with me, doll.” He ought to say, his grin widening.
Breathless with rage, Arthur felt the heat pooling in his face. A few drops of sweat beaded on his forehead as he shook his wounded hand to clear his flesh from the shards of glass.
“You really should —“
“Come home with me and I’ll make you beg.” He cut off before you had time to turn his invitation down , bringing his hand on one of your thighs to strengthen his point.
Destructive anger flowed through his veins like lava, exploding at the moment the man laid a finger upon you. Agile like a wild cat, Arthur jumped over the counter and rushed toward you, his shoulders tensed and his arms swinging as he walked. Earth shook under his feet, opening the gates of Hell more and more at each of his steps.
“AL-FUCKING-RIGHT THEN,” He blurted out, standing fiercely behind Jim. Arthur’s thundering voice almost made him jump — and it was enough for him to take his hand off your thigh and turned around to meet the Devil’s eyes. You froze on your stool, astounded by your man’s anger.
His face distorted with both fear and confusion at the sight of Arthur Shelby, green with jealousy and maddened with fury, “What the fookin hell did ya say, pal? WHAT THE FOOK DID YOU SAY TO ME WOMAN?” He roared, blue eyes shining with a threatening glow. At this point, Arthur was almost choking with rage.
“Oh my God Arthur, I did not know she was your woman. I’m sorry! I really did not —“ Jim could not finish his sentence for Arthur had grabbed him by the neck and dragged him away from you in front of the few last clients' terrified looks.
“You TOUCHED her! You bloody touched her, ME ANGEL. ME HEAVEN. I can’t fucking believe it,” He spat, his words coated with bitter venom. Swirling in the chaotic vortex of his own fury, he did not hear the man’s bargains. And somehow, he did not care. There was nothing he could say to stop him anymore. Jim tried to utter another apology.
He had barely opened his mouth when Arthur’s fist crushed his nose with such a violent blow the sound of broken bones echoed through the Garrison. The man, almost knocked out by the uppercut, crashed on the wooden floor, a jet of blood gushing from his face, “Oi! Thought you fought in France. Come on, bastard! Fight me!” He snarled, teeth bared like a wild animal.
He’s going to kill him. That was what crossed your mind when you came back to your senses, overcoming the shock of seeing Arthur in such a frenzy state. You got up from your stool, “Arthur… Stop it please.” You called him, trying to be as soft as possible not to fan the flames of his anger.
“I AM NOT GONNA STOP!” He barked, looking at you.
He looked at you
and you saw the Hell in his eyes.
“Heard how he dared to talk to ye? Ah, you wanted to make me angel beg eh?” Arthur kneeled over the whimpering man, almost straddling his quivering body, to grab him by the collar of his coat, “Yeah that’s what you said right. But trust me, you sonofabitch, I’m the one who’ll make you beg!” He yelled, sending another powerful blast to the man’s face with his fists as sole weapons, adorned with thick silver rings. “BEG, YOU BASTARD!”
“P-please—“
Another disgusting sound of torn flesh and cracking skull filled the room. “By order —“ A third punch. Breaking teeth. Jim spat three of them at your feet. “Of the —“ Fourth. Fifth. His knuckles bruised and split under the strength of his blows but Arthur could not care less. All he wanted was to reduce Jim’s face to an unidentifiable slop of flesh. “Peaky —“ Dislocated jaw hanging loosely. The horrible sight was accompanied by the cacophony of bloody gurgles. “Fookin — “ Jim had lost count of the punches that rained down on him. All he knew was that his body was giving up. At one point Arthur Shelby had stopped beating him, only to unstrapped the combat knife he kept in his holster, “BLINDERS!”
“ARTHUR NO!!!” Running to the scene and falling on your knees, you managed to grab his hands and keep him from stabbing the drunk man, “Don’t do that, please I need you. Please, please stop it.”
Please.
Your voice, like a light piercing the thick veil of his darkness, snatched him from his murderous craze. Waking up by the smell of blood mixed with your sweet spring-like perfume, Arthur stopped in the midst of what he was doing and realized he was holding a knife above his head, ready to plunge it into a man’s chest. He took a look at you, noticing the shocked expression on your holy face, and all his anger disappeared into a void. His fingers loosened around the knife, which fell on the wooden floor with a metallic noise, “please Arthur, calm down… Call down, Mon amour.” You whispered, begging him with your eyes. Silence fell on the Garrison, as well as in his mind. The maddening voices had stopped and the buzzing hatred had vanished. Arthur left the unconscious man and collapsed in your arms, panting and shaking. Adrenaline made you shiver too, but you gently hugged his frame, one hand stroking his hair, “That’s okay… I’m here …” You repeated just like a healing chant as a few men grabbed the severely injured victim and took him away from the pub.
“I’m … I’m sorry— Heaven, oh my god —“ Arthur stuttered, slowly realizing what he just did. He buried his face in your breasts, for comfort as well as to hide the blood that had splattered on him. He barely dared to hug your frail body for fear of breaking you. Sometimes, he swore he had hell in his hands and he did not want to bring you down in the flames with him.
“Shhhh… Breathe in. Breathe out. You can do it.” You said with a soothing tone. With divine softness, you ran your fingers through his hair, not minding the blood he smeared on your clothes and bosom, “that’s okay, you’re a good boy..” But as you were trying to chase away your man’s demons, a far too familiar voice echoed in the room.
“What the fuck is this mess?!” Thomas Shelby exclaimed for he had just entered the Garrison, John by his side. His freezing blue eyes looked at you from above. The king was here and he hated what he saw.
“John, bring Arthur home. Everyone OUT.”
This was all it took to empty the Garrison from its remaining clients. When John gently put his hand on his older brother’s shoulder, Arthur’s embrace tightened around your tiny silhouette for he did not want to leave you. “No,” he managed to beg between two heartbreaking sobs. His face still hidden, not daring to look at you for fear of seeing disgust and anger in your eyes, Arthur refused to let you go. Somehow, he was convinced you would not go back home — why would you after what you had just witnessed? “Don’t take me away from her!” He said, a bit more fiercely, which resulted in John taking a few steps back and looking at you, silently begging you to help him. In the midst of the chaos, only you could bring him back to his senses. A brief sigh escaped from your lips before you gently forced Arthur to look at you.
“Listen, chéri. I need you to go back home and calm down. I’ll be very quick.”
“No, no, you won’t come back.”
“ I’ll do,” You wiped away his tears with your thumbs, accidentally smearing more blood on his face doing so, “and when I do, I’ll take care of you alright? I’ll keep you warm and loved.” Punctuating your sentence with affection, you slicked his hair back with a frail but oh-so-loving grin on your face. He finally accepted.
When he left alongside John, your smile vanished and you got up from the floor, legs still slightly shaking. Thomas was still standing in the middle of the pub, towering you with all his height, and looking at you with his cold eyes. His chilling stare followed your movements as you walked to the bar and poured yourself another glass of wine.
“I told you to keep a low profile,” He began. Thomas Shelby’s voice was dressed in an apparent quiet, but something in his tone was threatening — and even though he did not display any sign of emotion, you knew his blood was boiling.
“Oh come on Thomas, all I wanted was to make a surprise to Arthur.” You took a mouthful of wine — the much-needed alcohol calming your anxiety.
Thomas closed his eyes for a few seconds and pinched the bridge of his nose to stop his dawning headache, “ A surprise… I hope you like the result then,” He retorted, before shifting his eyes back to you,
“Listen, I know you don’t like me but — ”
“He nearly killed someone for you. What the fuck are you doing to my brother, eh?” Tommy slightly tilted his head to the side, a spark of resentment lightening up his icy iris. You remained silent, still not believing Thomas was really blaming you for Arthur’s outburst. Of course, you had not reacted immediately, but the shock had petrified you for a few long minutes — but was it your fault if he had beaten the man? Certainly not. At this point, Tommy was just lashing out at you for all the issues his family was facing. It was far easier than admitting his own flaws and responsibility. Visibly infuriated by your silence, Tommy walked to you and stopped only a few inches from you, trapping your body between the counter and his own strong frame. He was close — so close your breasts were almost pressed against his chest, “Look me in the eyes when I fucking talk to you, Heaven.” He spat your name with disgust, as if he had just bitten into an apple filled with maggots.
“Get my pretty name out of your mouth,” You looked dagger at him, anger rushing through your veins at such an unwanted proximity. Yet you did not flicker.
“You fucking white Devil,” He hissed through his teeth, his low voice still calm in spite of his blooming hatred, “Are you happy to spread chaos in our life? What do you want from us ey?” He leaned over you, bringing his face closer to yours. With his brows slightly furrowed, Tommy’s sky blue eyes were probing yours, trying to understand the mystery they hid behind their aquamarine wonders, ”What do you want from me?! After Arthur is this me you want to control??” He growled. Your heart raced in your chest — shivers ran down your spine, and goosebumps appeared on your porcelain skin, for his unpredictable behavior was starting to worry you.
“I don’t want anything from you Thomas Shelby. Whether you like it or not I’m being honest with your brother. You know Arthur’s emotional, you can’t blame me for that. You take away his meds, turn him into a killer, and now you’re surprised he snaps?? How. Fucking. Unbelievable! Do you know what I think? Well, I think you need me to be your scapegoat . You need to blame me for your sins. For everyone’s sins.”
“Fucking burn in hell,” He spat again but could not find something to retort properly. It seemed like the skies gave you the gift of shutting Thomas Shelby's mouth. Instead, one of his hands grabbed you by the neck and forced your face to get closer to his. His breath fanned over your skin, as burning as a dragon’s fire.
“Be careful with the Rule of Three, Thomas. For each spell you cast always returns to you three times stronger.” You whispered. Then you gathered all your remaining strength to push him away from you, his musky and peculiar perfume almost making your head spin. Not wanting to stay here any longer — and also longing for a hot shower to wash away the blood from your skin —, you headed to the Garrison’s door. Obviously, Tommy’s eyes followed you but he did not say anything, muted by his resentment. Admittedly, he was torn between the urge to bounce on you and the desire to see you leave. You were about to disappear, the cold breeze of the night jumping at your face and rushing into the pub as you opened the wooden door. But your instincts kicked in. After a few seconds of hesitation, you finally decided to warn little king Shelby.
“By the way..." You looked at Thomas from above your shoulder.
"You should keep an eye on Charles. You really should.”
He froze. Confused and infuriated.
You left. Hurt and bitter.
When you came back home, you crossed your reflection in the corridor’s mirror. Your body refused to work anymore and forced you to stop in front of it. Facing your own person was something you hated. With trembling fingers, you brushed the blood stain Arthur had left on one of your cheeks.
Mom! Mom, no!!
I’ll fucking kill you all!!
You clenched your jaw at the memory it triggered, but still, you kept looking at your tainted ivory skin as if you were slowly learning to come to terms with what you did and what you were. Your fingers trailed down your throat until they grazed the top of your bosom, where the blood had accumulated the most. Another painful memory assaulted your mind, replaying the aching, almost inhuman screams of your little sister when her flesh had been eaten alive by the hungry tongues of the pyre’s flames.
Only God knew how you managed to keep your mind from spiraling into the darkest pits of your trauma, but you did — maybe that was because Arthur needed you. That protective instinct was stronger than your own pain. That was why you tricked your body into moving away from the mirror and went upstairs to take a hot shower before joining your man in bed. John had probably managed to convince him to sleep. Or his body had collapsed on the mattress, exhausted by the energy poured in his latest outburst.
As the running water of the shower was filling the bathroom with its regular and soothing noise, you slowly let your white dress slip along your body until it fell on the floor, as well as your lace panties. You stepped over the pile of clothes and, without waiting any longer, you hopped under the shower and welcomed its warm water with utter joy. A sigh of relief escaped from your lips as you tilted your head back, water hugging your body and raining down on your long white mane that cascaded down your lower back. You almost managed to empty your mind when, suddenly, one gentle calloused hand brushed your hip. Jumping in surprise, you turn around and saw that Arthur had joined you under the shower. His hands, arms, and face were still splattered with half-dried blood he had not cleaned. To be true, he had been too busy curling up on the bedroom floor, panicking about at the idea of you leaving him after what you had witnessed.
“You’re here…” His gravel voice said, water falling on his naked body whose millions of freckles drew magnificent constellations on his skin.
“Told you I’d come back.”
He smiled, softly. His steel blue had stopped avoiding you and was now firmly anchored in yours.
He took a step toward you.
You stepped back in response until your bare body met the cold shower wall.
Your pulse quickened, fascinated by the way Arthur looked. He had something in his eyes — a mix of limerence and pure madness who, combined with the crimson stains on his face, made your legs weak. His breath was slow but yours soon became erratic, even though he had barely touched you yet.
“You ain’t scared, love? Please, tell me you ain’t scared of your Arthur…” He said, his lower lip trembling as his body perfectly interlocked with yours. A small growl escaped from his throat at the intoxicating sensation of yours curves pressed against his skin. But despite his inextinguible desire, he still looked at you with hesitation and genuine guilt — his puppy eyes would surely break anyone’s heart.
“No, I’m not scared,” You replied, not shifting your gaze from him. The corner of your juicy and honey lips stretched in a small grin, “You…” You paused, bringing one hand to his stained cheek, “you look pretty with blood all over your face.”
Arthur’s eyes lightened with both surprise and ravaging desire, for you had witnessed the beast’s violence but still thought he was attractive. A twisted wave of arousal shook you to the core when he bared his teeth in a vaguely dangerous but oh-so-seductive smirk.
“Oh bloody hell, angel…” Not finishing his sentence, his lips captured yours in a fury kiss for he could not wait any longer. The need to possess you, to feel you, was too devastatingly strong to resist. At first, his lustful kiss surprised you, and even though you burnt for him l, a part of you felt it was wrong to feel this kind of twisted attraction. Last thing Arthur needed was someone encouraging his violence — but your brain soon shut down at the thought he did it for you. Only you. Your arms locked up around his neck to deepen the waltz of your tongues, sending fireworks in your loins. It was far than enough to turn Arthur on who, all of sudden, lifted you from the ground as if you weighted nothing.
You instinctively wrapped your legs around his waist, already suffocating with the hungry way he devoured your mouth and the shower’s steam accumulating around you.
As water rained down on your two intertwined bodies, it washed away the blood from your skins. The tainted liquid disappeared down the drain, leaving pale red stains on the bathtub's immaculate marble.
You kissed him harder. Rougher. Until his flesh dived into yours in an explosion of pleasure and shooting stars.
For you had seen the Hell in his eyes, and loved it anyway.
Any comment, review, reblog, or constructive criticism is welcome. Your reactions really motivate me and keep me alive, so please don't be shy. English is not my first language.
Each chapter of this series can be read as stand-alones but I advise you to read everything if you want a better understanding of details.
Tagging those who might be interested: @areyenotfondofmelobster @meowtastick @babayaga67 @sired-to-hybrid @shelbyssins @kxnnxyasdfg @adaydreamaway08
#first off sorry i love that gif sorry if its weird#what is it about a man covered in blood#im with heaven on this crows are friends not bad omens leave them alone theyre just silly little guys#heaven is braver than me if i walked into a pub full of men and they all turned and stared as i walked in i would turn tf around#or just combust there on the spot eeewwwww dont look at me#little king shelby is such a cute name its like if tommy was one of the scrappy little dogs#i can only imagine them flirting like this and everyone else at the bar just starts staring off in other directions#two are looking down at the same pint ones counting the cracks in the wall one is just straight turned around#“ thomas its thomas ” bitch😒#you let billy kimber call you a tart and alfie called you a silly little boy but she cant call you tommy bitch#their back and forth banter is so cute and silly and soppy#it suits arthur is a funny way#“ want a cushion to sit on ” hes so cute like i can imagine him walking around trying to find the best!! pillow#as soon as that man sat down i just KNEW what was coming omg its like these people dont live here#“ i fought in france ” if arthur wasnt so angry hed walk over in a sarcastic voice like “ wE aLl FoUgHT iN fRaNCe ”#still got the mud under me nails is not a flex bro wash or something#arthur smashing the glass (me reading) here we go...#heaven: youre the most jealous man i know arthur: you know other men?!#the fact hes trying to keep himself calm is progress! b4 arthur would have just fucked the guys head off the man#and then bottled him for good measure#arthur mate shes clearly soooooooo into you like *squidward voice* we fuck monsters here sir#love how you describe his anger and how it affects him! i do think a lot of arthurs anger is internalised insecurity#arthurs anger is explosive and all consuming#but comes as quick as it goes and hes left weighed down by everything that hurts him thats hiding under his anger#“ thats okay youre a good boy ” .........😳.......no comment on that *clears throat*...moving on#arthur begging not to be separated from her 😭😭😭#tommy thinks what hes doing is for the best because its born from worry and him wanting to protect them#especially with their upbringing#and arthur despite being the eldest is arguably the easiest influenced#and vulnerable
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