#i literally wrote a longer thing than the actual plot but i feel like it's a good thing i did

[inspired-lesson-plans]

Well, since this blew up and became my most successful post, I'll add a few more things about Bordentown's MVP of AP Bio.

She's English, from England (Kent, I'm pretty sure), one of four sisters. Her accent has largely faded over the years, but her cadence never did. Imagine growing up where your mom talks like Ian McKellen.

I inherited some of that affectation, such that when I started teaching a lot of kids would ask where I was from. But I wish that I inherited her memory.

When she got her biology degree, there were only two kingdoms of life: plants and animals. Yet she still remembers more from her time in college than I do.

Has literally never been able to tell left from right. She would put transparencies on the projector backwards and the class would have to tell her that she was the only one who could read it.

One time some of her fellow teachers were discussing the boy bands they used to listen to in Middle School and how that made them feel old; i.e. NSYNC vs One Direction. She chimed in (read this with cadence) "When I was in Middle School, The Beatles were still together."

She once told me "I don't really like recorded music. It doesn't feel alive."

She made that lute to accompany her singing (which she does well but seldom), but she can't actually play it. This is not for lack of trying. More precisely, she learned how to play, but she was never physically able to. The third knuckle on each hand is slightly malformed, such that her ring fingers cannot put enough pressure on the strings, despite many hours of practice. So when the lute got damaged in transit years ago, she repaired it as best she could and then put it away for good. I never knew it existed until I was 18.

In the early 2000s she wrote a YA novel about a girl who gets sucked into the Fey and has to help save them from domination at the hands of Queen Mab. Too many plot points to summarize, neither can I share a link to it because it no longer exists, save for her and my memory. Imagine if your mom had written The Golden Compass, printed it at home, didn't bother publishing it, then lost both the manuscript and the floppy disk that held the only copy.

She also wrote a sci-fi novel about space-faring amnesiac vampires trying to find their home planet. The twist is that they were the products of a top-secret genetic engineering project headed by Dick Cheney during the War on Terror. When she told a colleague about it, he was so bought in that he asked, "Do you think this could be really happening?"

Very concerned that my mom has chosen the path of bioterrorism.

[bananami]

STFUATTDLAGG

character/s: choso kamo x afab!reader

SYNOPSIS: meangirl!reader x loser!choso is a pairing that lives in my head rent free so when you all voted for choso to be the next hot man i wrote for i knew this was what would come out of it so let’s get into it whores

WARNINGS: this is college based bc u know why. 18+, nsfw, mdni, the whole shebang, kiddos avert ur eyes IT'S ALL SMUT / also just be aware i did use fem language for reader. as always, i did not proof read xxx

A/N: delusion is like drugs for simps, and i am the crackhead

Choso isn't like a nerdy loser, more like he’s just an emo boy, he’s got that alternative look going on and in a school full of preppy rich kids he stands out like a sore thumb. Of course this leads to some not so nice kids being not so nice to him, to which like he literally could not care less. He pays no mind to what anyone thinks of him beyond of course what his brothers think of him.

And as much as people aren’t nice to him, they do not fuck with him directly, lowkey scared of his reactions. Especially following a specfic incident in which someone tried to pick a fight with him. At first he was going to just let it slide but then they said something rude about Yuuji and this man laid them out. People were sent to urgent care and everything. Choso was put on suspension and almost kicked out, but their family friend is a lawyer and threatened to sue the school and anyways (if you know who you know who) so he was allowed back at school and everyone’s a little weary of him. This doesn’t stop the mean comments from coming.

And you. You’re no exception. You made fun of him every chance you got. The way he always did his hair in that weird double bun updo, or how he had his nails painted black, his various piercings and tattoos, the way he dressed so much different, was so much different, than any of the other guys you knew at school.

And you were so disgustingly attracted to him. While everyone would sneer and make fun of him and you played along, in reality you were internally berating yourself.

Choso did his best to ignore you but to be honest in the end you were just too fun to mess with. He thought it was cute how you thought you could hurt his feelings, how you really tried, and didn’t realize that he had a thing for brats and that’s just what you were. Everyone else was too afraid to say it straight to his face ever since the fight except for you.

One time he caught you staring at him and he couldn’t help himself, leaning over with a careless smirk. "If you spent less time staring at me and more time paying attention to the lecture maybe you wouldn’t be failing the class."

"Fuck you, Choso.”

"You’d like that, wouldn’t you?”

You hoped he’d mistake your embarrassment for anger. He didn’t. You snapped back, as usual. "Maybe if you didn’t dress like such a freak, you’d actually have some friends.”

"Maybe if you weren’t such a bitch your boyfriends would actually stick around for longer than a few months."

The one stung, and you tried not to let it show. Thrown off your game, all you could bring yourself to reply back was: “don’t call me a bitch.”

He shrugged, as though he were bored with the conversation already. "I never said it was a bad thing, just that you keep dating dudes who can’t handle you."

"What the fuck is that supposed to mean?”

He doesn't answer though, and you spend way too much time thinking about what he could've meant. Was he implying that he could handle you? Was that why he constantly found ways to poke at you? Did he like when you were a brat? Did it matter if he liked it? It led your fantasies down a deep and dark rabbit hole that you spent weeks harping on.

Things get even worse after you realize that Choso might’ve been right about your grades slipping and staring at him in class and whatnot. And (for plot reasons of course) that would mean your professor paired you up with him for the final project so that you’d stand a better chance at passing the class.

Which is how you find yourself standing outside of his apartment door, debating how much you need to actually pass the course for your degree. You kept coming to the same conclusion. You definitely needed to.

"You just gonna stand at my door like a creep or can you move so i can let you inside?” He stood at the top of the staircase up to his apartment, watching you with another bored expression.

You're reaction is second nature. "I’m the creep? How long were you just standing there watching me? Maybe I’d already knocked and you didn’t answer so I was waiting. Let’s get on with it, I don’t need anyone seeing me hanging around-”

"Alright relax, princess. No one’s around to hear you act like you hate me. Come inside and I’ll grab us something to drink.” He opened the door to let you both inside, holding it open for you to enter first.

"First off, I do hate you. And second, how do I know you’re not going to poison me?”

"Don’t worry, I wouldn’t poison you. The plan was going more in the direction of choking.”

"Choked to death? Good to know.”

"You implied killing. All i said was choking.”

"Oh, gross.” You groaned. You pushed away the images that were brought to your mind. Choso's hand around your throat, fingers in your mouth, his breathy whispers telling you what else he'd have you choking on by the end of the night.

It's not too bad for the first few hours. You start out working on the project in the living room, but Choso’s neighbors are loud as all hell and you eventually ask if you guys can move into a room away from that shared wall. And (of course for plot purposes) that would be his bedroom.

"Your bedroom is exactly as I pictured it would be."

"This is the part where I make fun of you for picturing what my bedroom looks like."

"Yeah weird and creepy, just like you.”

"Your insults are getting less and less creative.”

"Yeah well….shut up.”

He’s surprised at that, usually you’d come back at him with something witty and clever and he actually enjoyed it.

It’s quiet and he’s sitting at his desk while you lay casually on his bed when he decides now’s as good a time as ever, and he might never actually get you alone again to say it.

"You ever gonna admit that you find me attractive or keep lying to the both of us?"

You wince. "I don't find you attractive. Stop flattering yourself."

"You flatter me enough with all the staring and drooling you do over me in class."

"You're obsessive," you snap at him.

"At least i can admit it."

You're caught off guard, stuck between wanting to ask what he means and not wanting to give in to the obvious baiting he's doing. When he throws the study material down on to his desk and plops down in front of you on his bed, it seems like he's resigned to not giving you that choice.

"Tell you what, I'll tell you all of the dirty and depraved things I think about on a daily basis, and you can decide after whether you'd like to share those same thoughts of yours with me or not."

"Why would I want to hear any of the thoughts in your head?"

"Because a lot of them revolve directly around you." He's leaned so close you're almost touching one another. Your silence is enough to spur him on. "I think you've never been fucked properly before."

You can't contain the look that falls on your face. "Seriously? This what you think about? My sex life is none of your business, but I'm doing just fine in that department, thank you very much."

He ignores you. "I don't think you've ever been told to shut the fuck up and take it like the good girl I know you can be." That shut you up real quick. Choso is on his knees in front of you, hands cupping around your neck, his thumbs running across your cheeks. "You're whiney little fucking attitude not do it for your boyfriends?" He teased. "They not know how to deal with you when you're being a brat, huh?"

You're head moves without conscious effort, nodding to agree with him.

"You just want some attention, don't you?"

Another nod.

"You want my attention, don't you?"

Hesitation. But you can't help yourself, his presence looming heavy over you, pushing you to admit what you'd kept in the dark for so long.

One of his hands slithers from your throat, down your chest, under the sweats you threw on in a rush to get to his apartment. You're so distracted by his fingers that you don't notice his face moving closer until his mouth is prying yours open. That's all it takes from him to have you stroking your fingers through his hair, pulling it out of the buns they typically are held in.

"Such a little brat." He's hovering over you, pushing your hips into the soft cushion of his bed with his. "Feel how hard it makes me?" He teases as he grinds his hips down, his clothed cock sliding against your center. Your eyes flutter and he grips onto your face with one hand, squeezing firmly. "You're gonna fuck me tonight. Nod if you understand."

You can't believe how quick your head moves up and down. "You're gonna take off those pretty little panties you wore hoping I'd get to see and slide up and down my dick until I tell you to stop. I don't want you cumming until I feel you've begged enough."

It takes no time at all for him to flip the two of you and prop himself up on his forearms. His pants are shimmied off and thrown to his bedroom floor alongside yours.

Your hands are desperate to line him up, anticipation building to have him deep inside of you, but his shoot out to pull them up and place them against his chest. "No, no, no. You don't get me inside you yet, not until you prove to me you deserve it." He urges you along his shaft, flat against his stomach. "That's right, be a good little slut for me and let me feel that pussy slide against my dick."

You watch him from above, his face contorting from concentration to pleasure to near desperation. You've never felt as powerful as you did riding him. Not a single one of your boyfriends ever turning you on as much as Choso was right now. He made you work for it, praising you when you did what he asked, and you chased that praise.

"Shit, look at that baby," he grabbed your hair and yanked your face down to watch yourself slide against him. "Need to feel you squeeze that pussy around me. Fuck, slide me in, slide me in-" his loud groans matched your high pitched sound of relief at having him seated inside you. "Fuck this."

He flipped the two of you back over, gripping each of your legs and forcing them up. "Hold right under your knees for me. Good girl, keep yourself open for me, let me just use you." He fell to his forearms as he plowed into you, giving you no time to get used to any sort of pace.

You tried your best to hold your legs, but you wanted so badly to touch him. One of your hands wandered back up into his lose hair.

He could barely keep his eyes open, mumbling all kinds of truths you were sure he would've kept locked inside had he not been so drunk on the feel of being inside you. "So fucking pretty," he kissed you sloppily, "such a stupid fucking brat, just needed my cock inside you. Feel like heaven, baby. Gonna let me cum inside your little cunt, right? Made me wait so fucking long to have you, I deserve it. Don't I deserve it?"

You can barely form any coherent words, setting for nodding and breathy uh huhs.

"So fucking mean to me, and look how good I'm being to you, huh?" You feel the light slap of his head against your cheek. "Say your sorry, beg me to cum inside your pussy."

You do beg, your apology comes out in between the stuttering and slurring of your words, but you beg and plead with him until he concedes. It his own orgasm that pushes you over, his groans and relentlessness that follow, pushing himself passed the point of no return. You can see the beginning of what looks like tears in his eyes, and he has to force himself to stop, his hips jerking from the overstimulation.

He kisses you ruthlessly, letting his tongue claim your mouth in a manner more harsh than it is anything else. And when he pulls away and his eyes settle back on yours they're equally as harsh.

"No more shitty little boyfriends that can't handle you. I'll handle you. You want my cock, you ask nicely. Understand?"

"Yes," you let your lips peck his, surprising him, "what if I don't wanna be nice about it?"

He smirks, "try it and find out. Now get on your knees and suck my cock like the good girl I know you can be."

[dangerliesbeforeyou]

ok so ive been rewatching psychoville and saw on the wikipedia that there were a bunch of websites made for the series (they were all written by reece and steve btw) which i've been looking through cos they are genuinely SO fucking funny & also just amazingly creative lol!

anyway i know people in the fandom probs already know about this (since the show came out literally 15 years ago pfft) but i thought i'd share some of my fav bits (but honestly would just recommend just checking them out if you haven't i have been crying with laughter for literally hours lol)

i will say that a lot of the media (videos, games, etc) no longer work on the archived sites rip but i'm sure people have uploaded some of the stuff (vids especially) to yt or other places lol

so a) i love that we get some background stuff on jelly and 2) 'captain CRACKERS' bernie clifton's dressing room reference question mark ??????? (ofc bcdr was AFTER this but i know love the idea that mr jelly trained under len pfft)

what that red raw stump do though 👀 (sorry pfffft)

mr jolly's website wasn't that interesting soz tho i did like him comparing being a doctor to being a clown lol

the comment about fag bears did make me wheeze i'm afraid lol i also loved the blurry photos of lomax's commodities lol (kinda reminded me of the bit in tlog w/ that terrible old photographer guy lol)

when i tell you i DIED with laughter at the 'now known as hull' bit like u just know reece wrote that bit pfft

not really a funny thing but this poem written by david honestly kinda breaks my heart lol... i think it also a lot of additional context to david's guilt when he thought he'd killed his father(faver) because perhaps he felt guilty about NOT feeling guilty you get me? like, it felt to me that when maureen told david it was SHE who killed her husband, it didn't feel like he was mad at her for doing it, but more that she kept the fact from him. it's about... the mutual oedipus-coded obsession with one another that couldn't even be destroyed in death and in this essay i will....

ghoul_lass23 is just like me but about tumblr lol fr

nothing feels more cursed than the phrases 'the river minge has burst its banks', 'crying creamy tears' and 'fleshy rapunzel' (which i've just noticed they misspelt lol... don't think that was intentional lol?) so if i had to read this so do you <3

the way that i kinda wish this actually existed tho pfft... also, it does kinda remind me of that video where jenny nicholson talked about that insane reality show 'opposite worlds' lol

'cross between seven and glee' is honestly sending me pfft

also on this part there was a script from stinkfinger (which is a show mentioned on the show) which sounded suspiciously like a reference to tlc lol

the less said about swastknickers the better

(will say i did nearly piss myself laughing at the nazi section of the hoity toity website lol which wasn't a sentence i thought i'd type today lol)

i just love these kinds of jokes pfft

also the whole biography sections of each of the pantomime cast are fab lol tho i AM kinda pissed they made debbie from yeovil and yet didn't give her a west country accent lol!!! (i guess they thought it'd be a bit much w/ joy being bristolian but i'm still mad about it lol)

also i know people have probably already pointed this out but i do find it funny that brian in the in9 episode last night of the proms is a closeted gay guy who likes watching drag was probably a reference to brian in this show that was a drag queen like... is anything these guys do NOT a reference??? u know those gaylor fans who obsessively look for clues in her songs about her apparent secret sexuality? all i'm saying is that i think they'd really like the extended reece shearsmith & steve pemberton universe pfft

all three of these made me cry with laughter lol

ohh this is interesting lol so obviously they suspected that some people might be all 'um why didn't the sprinklers go off during the fire at ravenhill? plot hole much!' so they wrote this into one of the websites so they could be like SEE! WE'RE ONE STEP AHEAD OF YOU DUMBASSES lol

both the jeremy kyle reference (remember when that was a thing? yikes... my mum used to watch his show CONSTANTLY...) and nurse kenshington's thoughts on david and maureen are interesting lol.. also there's a reference to the serial killer top trumps in this bit lol! (do people still play top trumps?? man i LOVED top trumps lol...)

the entire sunnyvale care home section is so fucking funny (both the website AND in the show lol mrs wren/mrs ladybird face is unironically probably my favourite character on the entire show) these were just some of my fav gags lol...

ok but why is this the SECOND reference to a guy punching a child who was apparently looking at his dick lol!??!! did this happen to one of you ??!!?!? reece did you punch a child ??!???!?!??

&&&& that's it lol

there were a few websites i didn't spend long on or generally weren't that interesting (coughmidgetgemscough) but honestly? i was really captivated with just how funny and well put together all these sites were! you can tell they had a lot of fun making it and i'm sure fans at the time LOVED being able to have this semi-interactive element of the show lol

there was just something so wonderfully late 00's about these websites lol i genuinely don't think i've laughed this much at anything in literal months and all of this is just solidifies that psychoville is a criminally under-appreciated masterpiece lol

[acourtofthought]

Okay so scrolling the Lucien tag and not even 5 posts in I see an e/riel!

Now I’m at the point where I don’t bother to engage with them bc I do not see any point, but I am still curious. This person was saying Eluciens & Gwynriels have to twist cannon and the characters (sure Jan), but what really stuck out to me was that one of those “twists” is Azriel feeling nothing more than lust for Elain…

… where is a single shred of proof that Azriel feels more than lust? Which book, which page number? Because it’s literally explicitly stated that he’s planned nothing beyond the fantasies he’d pleasured himself to. So where is the more? I know you used to favor E/riel. Is there anything more you’d point to?

💖🧼

NTSSM my love!!!!! ❤️ I hope you've been well!

People can headcanon all they want that Az has real feelings for Elain but there is no irrefutable evidence and that's a big part of why I grew to really dislike the E/riel ship.

Az was point blank asked about his known feelings for Mor and he refused to answer. I've seen all sorts of debates about this, "he was just caught off guard!" "He doesn't like to talk about his feelings!" but again, those are all fanon theories right now. He in canon and in his POV did not admit to no longer being in love with her and was not willing to reassure one of his best friends that he wasn't about to just use his sister in-law for sex. Cassian noted his longing glances for Mor were fewer in between but that's not completely gone and we know she was traveling for much of SF. There can't be as many looks if the person isn't around.

Az was asked point blank what his plans were when it came to Elain and once again Az said nothing, followed with him thinking how he hadn't thought beyond the sexual fantasies he pleasured himself to.

Az witnessed Elain's major fight with Nesta, he knew there had been another fight prior to it and he couldn't even be bothered to ask her how she was doing once they were finally alone.

Amren reprimanded Az for not believing Elain capable and we didn't see a single shred of remorse at his doubting her.

Az in canon showed admiration for Gwyn. Az in canon has never shown admiration for Elain. Az in canon credited Nesta for her part in the war. Az in canon has never acknowledged anything Elain did in the war. Az in canon felt a spark in his chest at the thought of Gwyn's happiness. Az in canon never noted feeling a spark for Elain. Az in canon thought of Gwyn's charming irreverence and how different she is now compared to when he first met her. Az has never thought a single thing about Elain's personality or her growth. Az in canon did want to taste Elain but Az in canon also has taken many lovers over the years. Az in canon spent 1 year staring at Elain's headache powder but Az in canon spent over 500 years staring at Mor with longing. We were also told that Az is upset that he didn't get what his brothers had which does provide readers doubt to Az having real feelings for Elain. The author specifically wrote the lines she did in a way that caused many to say "he doesn't want Elain for who she is but what she is in terms of the 3 sisters / 3 brother setup". Compare that to his love for Mor which has been a plot point since book 2 (something that was even discussed in the Cassian and Nesta bonus) and there is no doubt that Az had actual feelings for her.

If a romance author can't convince the majority of her readers that the MMC actually wants the FMC beyond sex and entitlement then I have to say she's not writing a very good romance. Especially when she's not a dark romance / bully romance author (those genre's are a bit different).

Az in canon did lend Elain TT but he turned around and looked at Mor with heat and yearning while Elain sat in the room with them (so clearly the TT scene was not really meant to be romantic). Az did head to Hyberns camp to save Elain but he also told Feyre he'd save Briar while they were there. He then disobeyed Feyre's orders to get Elain to safety so he could instead stay behind for Feyre. Az would have never gotten hurt had he left when Feyre told him to, he got hurt because he didn't want to leave Feyre. He was then ready to fly back into battle while injured but only sat out after Mor begged him to.

And when we flip that, where is the proof that Elain has feelings for Az? I'm not talking about a little crush or flirtation, a willingness to hook up, I'm talking "I will sneak behind the backs of my friends and family to have a forbidden romance with Az and don't care what that means for the peace of our lands because he's worth everything to me."

Was it when she was kidnapped by the Cauldron because she thought it was Graysen? Was it when Az was about ready to pass out from his injuries and she never bothered to ask after him? Was it when she knew he was bothered by her mating bond but had zero interest in actually talking to him about it in his POV? You know, actually sharing in a real conversation with depth after a year where they both pretty much avoided one another rather than thinking hooking up was the better option? (It's giving Tamlin and Feyre who chose not to talk about everything they were dealing with UTM and instead thought banging one out was the smart choice. Sarah doesn't have her endgame couples hooking up before dealing with the hard stuff). Was it when she returned his necklace and was written to be completely indifferent to him the rest of the book? Where she showed zero evidence of sadness or mourning after Solstice?

That E/riels accuse us of twisting canon when they've got Elain as a bloodthirsty, dagger wielding, black leather wearing liar who doesn't care whose feeling she hurts is something else.

I realize that Elucien's saying Elain might have secret feelings for Lucien and is overwhelmed by her physical attraction to him which is one of the reasons she draws back is also a fanon theory right now but the difference is we have empirical evidence to back that up because it's what was revealed about every single Archeron sister to date. Where she ignored, berated, etc. her mate because she was so overwhelmed at being drawn to them (even if she didn't fully understand why that was). Sarah is a Fated Mates author along with many other Fated Mates authors. We have actual data to support that Elain and Lucien as mates will end up together and that Elain has possibly been struggling with her feelings for Lucien all this time.

And yes, there are many yet to be proven Gwynriel headcanons but how could a male feeling something spark in his chest at the simple thought of a female's happiness, a female he really only just met, be considered anything but the first hints at a future romantic pairing?

Az felt happy thinking of Gwyn feeling happy. What is the definition of love if not that?

[charcubed]

Disneyland's Rogers: The Musical, propaganda that turns Steve Rogers into more myth than man, and revisionist history (possibly) to a purpose

Any of my thoughts in this post could just be me reading too far into things. I'm very aware of that, and please know that this post exists just because this sort of thing is fun for me! This is a thought exercise where we propose "What if we live in a world where the MCU is actually doing a cool and interesting thing as a longcon?" If you have anger at Marvel, that's valid and relatable, but please don't get angry at me or imply I'm an MCU stan who doesn't think critically about the mouse. Thanks!

Breaking news: I'm back on my bullshit!

A quick personal recap: I infamously hated Avengers: Endgame for a long list of reasons (and I even rewrote the movie). One of those reasons is that I've always taken issue with Steve's ending. But in the years since then, and as the MCU's phase 4 has evolved, my frustration at Steve's "ending" has turned into an ongoing and legitimate theory that the MCU could be slowly leading into a loosely adapted Secret Empire plot line. I know we've all been joking about Steve being trapped or about an imposter Steve since 2019, but uhhh, it's kind of not a joke to me anymore? It feels weirdly plausible at this point and so I enjoy discussing the potential.

You can find a full elaboration on that here, where I wrote out my "Steve was snatched by HYDRA" theory in 2021.

In that post, one of the things I mentioned at the time was Rogers: The Musical being in the Hawkeye trailer.

[The musical's] very existence is an example of how in-universe the stories of the lives of the heroes are being commodified, especially (in terms of how they’re framing it) for Steve’s. The heroes are no longer seen as people, if they ever were. They are, as Kate Bishop says to Clint in a recently released clip, more about “branding.” Sam Wilson will be redefining the shield moving forward in a Cap context, but simultaneously, the world is still enamored by Steve Rogers as a symbol in his own right. And that is ripe for manipulation as a Trojan horse to control public opinion… whether in the context of things like this by themselves (is the musical portraying Steve accurately, or is it painting an inaccurate picture of him the world accepts as fact?) or in future (is this propaganda that makes the public see Steve a certain way and continue to love him, to set up a fake or brainwashed Steve coming on the scene later?).

Now a form of the musical exists in full, at Disneyland and all over Youtube. Considering some of its baffling content – which I will break down below – this perspective seems even more strongly worth considering.

I have two main reasons for why I'm defending examining this musical so closely:

1. It is (arguably) an in-universe piece of media that has bearing on the MCU canon. It isn't like any other typical Disneyland attraction; its very existence is meta and it was in canon first. Obviously it's seen in Hawkeye, but there are also posters for it in several different phase 4 properties. It's lurking in the background indefinitely. So what can this musical tell us about what the wider public within the MCU is being told about the life story of Steve Rogers?

2. This Secret Empire graphic – which is animated in the center of the stage of a prolonged period of time – feels like a literal sign to pay attention.

Granted, this is obviously still ancillary material. 99% of the MCU audience will never see this musical, whether in person or on YouTube. But just because it isn't a vital piece doesn't mean it's automatically an entirely irrelevant piece.

They've given me an inch with that sign and I'm taking a mile.

So if you're interested, please join me on this journey :)

For the record, let me just say that I salute the creative team behind this show. It's pretty fun and the songs are catchy, the sets and costuming are cool, and the cast is overall very talented.

It's also fucking maddening. LMAO.

Why? Firstly, because of the seemingly deliberate ahistorical inaccuracies. We all know Ant-Man is wrongly shown in the Battle of New York, which originally "came from [the Hawkeye showrunner] and Marvel, as something to further aggravate Hawkeye as he watched the show, and also as a comment on how movies and articles and people always get something wrong." It seems like they expanded those meta nods, but most inaccuracies are now in service of glorifying Steve and Peggy's "love story." Yes, romance objectively makes for good theater; but again, I feel that this is worth examining considering the full context.

And secondly, Steve's ending is framed as an offer presented to him, convincing him it's the happy ending he deserves because he's tired. In my mind, these two big elements go together, and I'll walk you through the details of what happens in the musical before I tie the thought threads back around into some theorizing.

For your reference, here's a list of the main songs and story beats:

• "U-S-Opening Night" - the Starkettes (who are basically a Greek chorus) frame the show's story, and then it turns into an ensemble that loosely takes place at the Stark Expo. • "I Want You" – Steve's "I want" song about trying to enlist in the army. • "Star-Spangled Man With A Plan" – Steve performing on the USO tour obviously, and then there's a reprise with an added voiceover that (very briefly) covers the Howling Commandos' rescue + the war via comic book imagery. • "What You Missed" – Fury and the Starkettes tell Steve some pop culture things he missed while he was frozen, + they tell him about the Avengers. Then Fury goes down a list of other hero characters, including the Guardians? Doctor Strange? Wanda?? It plays loose and fast with time, because many non-2012 characters are bafflingly mentioned in this nonlinear Avengers list – including the Winter Soldier (???). • "Save the City" – this is the song seen in Hawkeye, with the civilians + the Avengers all involved, but it's slightly different here and expanded to also reference other battles. • "End of the Line" – Old Steve presents main Steve with the time stone as an opportunity for his happy ending, and they reflect on things together. (Yes, this is insane.) • "Just One Dance" – Steve and Peggy reunite and sing about their love. • And then there's basically a reprise of "Save the City," with the Starkettes and the whole cast closing the finale out.

Right out of the gate, let's address this: the main reason you're going to see some fans pissed about this musical is not only that Steve and Peggy's ~epic romance~ is made a pillar of the story... but also that Bucky's importance/involvement in Steve's life is minimized as much as possible.

And they took Bucky-related elements from canon and made them center more around Peggy instead.

• For some weird reason, Peggy is in the Stark Expo scene. When a soldier is hitting on the Starkettes ("hey sweetheart, I wanna dance!"), Steve tells the soldier to show the ladies some respect. The soldier grabs Steve and throws him down, and then Peggy swoops in to yell "Pick on someone your own size!" and punches the guy before walking away. So she's given Bucky's TFA line verbatim, and she is given the role he had of saving Steve from bullies. There is blatantly no reason they couldn't have had Bucky still serve that function and be truer to "history," because he briefly enters this scene in uniform less than a minute later to announce he's shipping out to the 107th – and then he spins off with a date on his arm. (We don't see Bucky on stage again until the full cast comes out for the finale!)

• After the Star-Spangled Man show, Peggy rushes in to talk to Steve. Steve is excited about his USO performance (???) but she urgently tells him to listen as she says that the 107th has been captured. Peggy apparently knows it's Bucky's division, and she knows Steve is going to go, so she tells him that she's already arranged transport for him. This is a subtle twist from the truth of how it went down in TFA, in which Steve recognized 107 as the number of Bucky's division, and his dogged determination inspired Peggy to relent and help his rescue mission. Here, Peggy is given a stronger role in the Cap origin story. And before Steve rushes off, Peggy sings a short untitled ballad hoping for their dance, so Steve pauses before he leaves to ask her to go on a date with her when he returns. • The most egregious Bucky-to-Peggy change of all is the song "End of the Line," in which the infamous Steve and Bucky line/promise (that broke Bucky's brainwashing...) is re-contextualized to be about ???? Peggy waiting for Steve in the past??? Old Man Steve and regular Steve sing it together. But we'll go back to that in a minute.

Again, I get it, yeah? It's for theater. Whatever. But in reality, the obvious logical truth is that Peggy is centered (to the point of taking elements from Bucky's story, and in turn Bucky is downplayed) because they needed to convince the audience that Steve going back in time to be with her makes sense. Steve's time travel ending had to be justified, so the Peggy and Steve "love story" had to be a pillar in this with everything else being given lesser weight.

And the inherent selfishness of him doing something as big as going back in time also had to be justified... which is why they do their best to convince you Steve fought so much he deserved it.

Let me elaborate on that by describing the lead-up to the "End of the Line" song.

So, right before "End of the Line" is "Save the City" – which includes Steve belting "I can do this all day!" repeatedly, of course. It's the 2012 Battle of New York as the Avengers come together to win.

As they begin to disperse, the song then transitions to a voiceover alert mentioning Sokovia being under attack by artificial intelligence (a.k.a. Age of Ultron). The Avengers group rushes back to center stage to say "Save the city! Help us win!" together for battle again.

And then things get fucking weird.

Because the next voiceover threat is "Washington DC. Attack: the Winter Soldier." This is not accurate to the order of events! The Winter Soldier events were before Age of Ultron; the public of the MCU would also know this.

And suddenly on stage Steve is now in the center while everyone else gestures to him. Instead of singing with him, they're telling him "Save the city! Help us win!"

Then, another voiceover: "Wakanda, under attack" (Infinity War) and again, Steve is centered while everyone else points to him. The ensemble says, "Save the city, help us win! Save us all from the state we're in! Got to hear you, got to hear you, got to hear you say..." as Steve is buckling to his knees under their pointing. And as the lights go down to one spotlight on him and everyone else leaves, he says "I can do this all day" one last time, but now it's subdued.

The implication is that Steve has been fighting and fighting, people leave him or he loses them, and he's tired.

And then fucking Old Man Steve arrives.

He says "On your left," because yes, they gave him Sam Wilson's line. BATSHIT.

So now there's two Steves on stage! There has been no mention of Thanos or infinity stones or anything up to this point! (I can only assume that's because in the MCU universe no one would want to be reminded of the trauma of "the Blip" – though it's pretty wild that they're allowed to know about magical time travel?)

Steve is baffled by Old Man Steve's arrival. I, too, was baffled by Old Man Steve's arrival.

As Steve questions how this is possible, Old Man Steve shows him the time stone from his pocket – and only the time stone – which Steve recognizes.

OLD MAN: "You've got to remember where you've been to know where you're going." STEVE: "Where am I going?" OLD MAN: "A date with destiny." STEVE: “Destiny. So we’re the hero till the end?” OLD MAN: “That’s the thing about endings, Steven. They can be rewritten.”

Lmao???????

Steve starts singing about how he hopes this means they "win" and calls himself a "tired hero."

STEVE: "But sometimes I wonder, who will save the savior? Can we really do this all day? So here I am, now and also then. Just a man, looking back at where he's been." OLD MAN: "The road is rough but wounds are healed by a thing called time. You can't forget what's waiting at the end of the line."

Me, watching this: the fact that he says this out of the blue makes absolutely no sense.

There's a bit more singing, including "end of the line" repetition, and then Old Man Steve pulls out the time stone to essentially show visions of... I don't fucking know. Past, present, and future?

That's pre-serum Steve, Steve with Mjolnir, and Sam Wilson as the new Cap. This is the only reference to Sam in the whole thing.

More singing, and then: Peggy's silhouette.

OLD MAN: "Can't forget who's waiting..." STEVE: "I can't forget who's waiting..." BOTH: "Don't forget who's waiting..." STEVE: "At the end of the line."

At this point I'm like, what in the hell?

Did Old Man Steve just brainwash normal Steve into thinking "end of the line" is now about Peggy? Because uhhhh, sorry, that's what it feels like!

Then Steve uses the stone to go back in time, reunites with Peggy, etc. etc. finale.

It's truly some crazy shit.

[drags hands down face]

Look... there's a lot to unpack here, and there's a lot that gets me about it. I know this is dramatized for the stage! I KNOW! But the fact that Old Man Steve shows up to convince Steve he should go back in time makes me want to gnaw on furniture.

Another person essentially uses the lure of a life with Peggy to tempt Steve into doing this, dramatized or not. That is how it's framed.

It's a hell of a way to frame it, and it makes Steve's ending stand in even starker contrast to so many other things in phase 4. Desperately trying to go backwards when you shouldn't or to bring back a lost lover is an evil temptation, and it results in a trap or negative cosmic consequences for basically all of the other characters in the MCU.

• In Shang-Chi, Wenwu is tempted by the Soul Eaters beyond the Dark Gate. They use the voice of his deceased wife to convince him to set them free. • In "What If" episode 4, Doctor Strange becomes evil in a desperate bid to save Christine and he destroys his universe. Along the way, he tries to tempt/trap the good Strange who's fighting him by using visions of Christine, but good Strange knows she isn't real. • Wanda's grief and desire to bring back Vision leads to – well, you know. • In No Way Home, Peter trying to undo things is what causes the multiverse problems.

And the fact that they frame it as Steve being tired, so basically the argument is he deserves that time travel ending (just like MCU fans who defend Endgame say in real life)... Well.

There's no way to make it hold up, especially because in "What If" they explicitly subverted that and had Captain Carter not go back in time despite how she felt she'd "earned" it.

Lastly, in this musical as Steve decides to pursue time travel as his course of action, he basically has the meaning or memory of "end of the line" rewritten for him. I refuse to not think that is some nefarious shit. Yes, it's not out of the realm of possibility that it's just some general Disney erasing Steve and Bucky nonsense.

But... this is on another level to me. I do think that it's a blatant choice that they had to be aware even general MCU fans would call bullshit on. Everyone knows it's inaccurate. "End of the line" is embedded in pop culture consciousness as being connected to Bucky. It just is! Surely that means it's not a stretch to theorize it could be deliberate meta commentary.

How, in the MCU world, would the in-universe playwrights even know the phrase "end of the line"? How the fuck would it be accidentally applied to Steve and Peggy? Not to sound like a crazy person, but who the fuck was rooting around in Steve and/or Bucky's personal business or their brains in order to obtain that knowledge and then remix it, and why? Neither of them would flippantly mention it in the public eye or interviews ever. So where did its inclusion come from?

And in the finale ensemble, this is Bucky's line when he comes out on stage and salutes + points to Steve: "Don't forget who's waiting..." And Old Man Steve completes it with "...at the end of the line."

What on God's green earth am I meant to do with THAT?

Smh.

The vibes are fucked, folks.

The MCU public wouldn't know enough to say the vibes are fucked. The MCU public wouldn't know the origin of "end of the line" as a phrase. But us? The ones who know the "true story" via the movies? We can call bullshit.

Whether the creative team behind this musical did every aspect of this consciously or not, in my opinion the fact that they had to tweak canon "history" to A) make Peggy's involvement in Steve's life more central and B) emphasize Steve as a tired hero all works as commentary on and almost a condemnation of Endgame's frustrating ending. In a way, it's also what Endgame did with the compass and 1973 moment with Peggy as well.

Steve's ending had to be convincing.

It's theater.

And so, maybe the same is true for the in-narrative perspective of this musical in the context of the MCU world. What purpose would it serve to tell the MCU public a feel-good narrative about how all Steve Rogers wanted was to no longer be a tragic man out of time and get to make a life with his best girl? To frame it as being about how he fought so hard for years and so he earned a happy ending? To minimize and nearly erase Bucky's importance in his life?

Who would want to do that sort of propaganda, and why?

The MCU civilians are given this happy explanation and maybe don't widely question it. Who cares about the details or logistics if it makes a good story, I guess. It's a stretch, but maybe they mostly applaud it. Maybe they're happy for "America's favorite son" (not unlike people who uncritically liked Endgame). In a way, it's even a rehabilitation of his image (after the Accords) like putting the shield on the Statue of Liberty. And maybe they'd even be ready and waiting to applaud if Steve ever made a dramatically selfless and de-aged return to the spotlight or a position of authority.

But mostly, the public is being conditioned to not know or to forget that anyone else like Bucky Barnes or Sam Wilson would possibly know Steve Rogers the person well enough in the modern day to call bullshit on any of this – or on his hypothetical miraculous future return.

So. Sure, it's probably nothing.

But what if it's not?

-------

UPDATE: @faeriecap added to this post with some incredible information and further behind-the-scenes context about the MCU/Marvel stuff at Disney parks! Check it out here :)

[bloopitynoot]

Reading SVSSS: Chapter 2

For those who don't know, I am reading SVSSS for the first time and sharing my thoughts!

If you have not read it, there will be spoilers! Consider this a warning.

Also- if you want to follow along, I am aiming to post updates daily. You can find all the posts in the tag bloopitynoot reads SVSSS. You can also check out the intro post for context on my read.

Chapter 2: Mission

Okay pre read thoughts here. This story is so good! I am totally loving the premise of this, the system mechanics are wonderful (so much sass) but also so unpredictable!

I'm not going to lie I am nervous for this mission that Shen Yuan/Shen Qingqiu and co are about to go on. I just feel like things are about to get completely fucked LOL

again (as a reader not as system in book) points to Shen Yuan for noting how nasty the relationships are in this OG canon (p 63 re: Die-er and Old Master Chen- barf)

Okay but like I get it Shen Yuan- I still cannot imagine attempting to fake being a martial master OMG p.64

MOOD "Shen Qingqiu didnt even want to pretend to meditate, so he lay on the bed, just pretending to be dead" p65

unrelated to this plot but also related to this plot: I fucking love how MXTX is as a writer. I love the constant comments about the writing of women and side characters in fantasy writing it's very meta right now p67 (Re: shen Yuan/Shen Qingqiu- i haven't decided what to call him at this point tbh- talking about how the "original author" wrote the shittiest female characters).

I am once again here to talk about how Shen Yuan talks about Luo Binghe (he is a child- another barf) but also Shen Yuan does have this future(?) omniscient (?) knowledge about about what he becomes as a fully realized adult character - it still makes me deeply uncomfortable RE: "Shen Qingqiu could only say that, as expected, the brilliant protagonist truly was overwhelmingly cool, awesome, insane, and badass, with a dick longer than the heavens" p68

RIP easy mode XD LOL p69

why is he naked tho??? p71

bless her heart- RE: everything about Ning Yingying p74

I can't. Re: Luo Binghe's crisis pp76-77

If shen Qingqiu fixes this entire story by accidentally making Luo Binghe fall in love with him I- *deep sigh * pp76-77

The way Shen Yuan keeps reading the filth out of these characters- SO MUCH shade! "Their IQ wasn't beyond saving!" p 81

thank fuck he finally unlocked the OOC feat p85

Okay but the Lin Xi Caves actually sound so stunning p88

Re stunning caves: well minus the blood and qi deviation LOL

When his headcanon for Liu Qingge is absolutely wrecked ahahahaha p93

Liu Qingge really hates Shen Qingqiu (I mean, I get it but like still, damn) pp 97-98

Unrelated but I adore the way this sect is organized. It is visually stunning with the various peaks, im fully picturing this gorgeous mountain range

The QUEEREST thought so far in this is Shen Yuan commenting on the demon woman's (now I know she is Sha Hualing- don't @ me) footware, I can't p102

wait what the heck! Shen Qingqiu's fighting is so elegant! pp 106-107

Luo Binghe: status- Broken p107

OMG he wants to protect this kid but the struggle of a protagonist (re: -1000 if Luo Binghe does not fight) p109

Hell yeah! I already love Liu Mingyan!!! p111

OMG he totally is accidentally causing Luo Binghe to fall for him. I can't-what a way to fix the plot. p112

The hate Shen Yuan has for Ning Yingying is too much XD I keep laughing, oh no. Him basically saying "omg thank you for running away I literally cannot handle you in this fight because you are a constant mess" p116

wait. WTF. Is Shen Qingqiu going to die?!?!?! p124

oh, thank fuck, Liu Qingge showed up pp129-130

bahahahah OFC he's "repaying for the cave" p131

oh damn well shit okay, that's one way to end the chapter.

I hope his cultivation is not fucked because of the poison!?!?!?

also jesus, that's a harsh way to get points. Does he level up in this?? I feel like he at least deserves a level up.

That's all for this chapter!

Tomorrow is date night for me and my partner so maybe no chapter- but we will see if I have time to read earlier or not.

[nicksolemnlyswears]

HOTD S2 EP3 THOUGHTS

SPOILERS AHEAD

sorry it took longer for me to post my thoughts. i had to take a moment to calm myself. i was shaking and crying. and then i wrote most of the post when tumblr decided to simply not save it 😒 this is my second attempt. enjoy

let’s start at the beginning shall we?

so happy to have milly back on another episode! the scene was weird as fuck though. daemon seriously needs to get out of harrenhal.

i feel very disconnected to daemon when he’s in harrenhal. i know most of the scenes are dreams but like he barely reacts to them? i don’t know how to explain it other than it’s sort of out of character?

then we get the bit at the dock. makes me wonder if rhaenys knows that alyn is one of corlys bastards? i think she does especially the way she says that their mom must’ve been really beautiful.

alicent asking for moon tea is hilarious. she’s trying to be so slick and failing. but also i thought moon tea was a plan b situation i didn’t realize it was fully an abortive tea!

love how larys catches on to it within a second. and he says what we all think NO ONE FUCKING CARES. my god alicent! you’re fucking criston cole. we all know. no one cares. you served your duty as wife to the king now he’s dead and your ‘free’ literally no one is judging you for fucking around.

now baela and jace are serving 💅🏽 with the outfits. i adore them they look so good! they are the IT couple rn and they deserve that title.

why must criston cole feel the need to call rhaenyra a whore? honey you are projecting. you are in fact the whore.

that lord deserves an award for defending rhaenyra. i was so damn happy when he told criston cole he doesn’t deserve the white cloak. YOU TELL HIM LORD. he should’ve called him alicents little bitch while he was at it.

the greens council…it was hard to watch. first of all, all aemond does is smolder and fangirl over daemon. whenever he’s not plotting some agenda he’s writing fanfics about his uncle i swear!

that being said i felt second hand embarrassment when aegon was not able to speak high valyrian. then again i thought he wasn’t going to even understand in the first place so its better than nothing.

now i’m gonna go on a big tangent regarding aegon.

i didn’t like him at all in the first season. he did some horrible things and i have not forgotten about them but i truly feel for him.

the fact that he’s inadequate at being a king is constantly rubbed in his face and it doesn’t fail to hurt him. he never wanted to be king. he knew viserys did not want him as king. so he never prepared.

he was forced on the throne as alicent and otto wanted more power for some reason. so now he’s trying his best to be a king and act like one but he’s always being undermined by everyone around him.

otto straight up told him viserys didn’t want him there. and alicent literally told him to sit pretty and let them do all the talking. it’s humiliating and frustrating.

i get alicent’s point about listening to others around you who have more experience but in reality they don’t want to offer advice. they want to act in his name. they don’t want him to do anything. they don’t think he’s capable and maybe he’s not capable but he’s trying to be. he could honestly be an actual king if anyone actually gave him a chance.

they all treat him like this object not like a person which is why he keeps making all these shitty decisions.

then she has the audacity to talk about all the sacrifices her and otto made to get him the crown?? HE DIDNT WANT IT IN THE FIRST PLACE. YOU HIGHTOWERS ARE A GREEDY BUNCH.

aemond is the person he thought could help him but that fucking psycho has plans of his own.

it’s isolating. it fucks with his mind. but i guess that’s enough for now. i could write a whole fucking essay on aegon.

so then we are back with daemon at harrenhal and honestly it’s getting a little boring. except for the moment where daemon is displaying as aemond. top tier comedy.

but we get a glimpse of laena!! i love having these actresses back if only for a scene. i hope we get a vision with viserys. i miss paddy ☹️

oh they mentioned benjicot!!! now we all look stupid cause that ‘davos’ guy was really not benji. (i still love the fanfics though. he’s a handsome man)

so rhaenyra disappears once more and the council doesn’t take jace, baela or rhaenys serious enough. it’s frustrating but omg the way jace spoke to rhaenyra when she retuned ???!!

my mother wouldn’t have taken that lightly

but it’s rhaenyra so she’s a sweetheart as always. i gotta say though that she’s taking things so calmly? like she took forever to return to dragonstone while the greens kept plotting. where were you girliepop?

i understand wanting to make sure the only way to get through this is through war but some urgency would be nice.

did jace learn how to speak like that from daemon? cause it was giving daemon including how he rested his hand on the sword handle.

now onto the battle at rooks rest:

where do i fucking start?

rhaenys is a queen. she is a true soldier. she knows how to battle. SHE IS THE LOVE OF MY LIFE

if she said dracarys once…it was a lot.

ATTACK MELEYS. that’s how you fucking do it. that’s how you fight with dragons not just spewing fire at each other.

rhaenys is a queen and i had so many high hopes but i knew…we all knew she wouldn’t make it. i think she knew as well and it was so devastating. it’s one of the reasons why i was shaking at the end and crying too.

hey alexa please play ‘birds of a feather’ by billie eilish.

she survived so much but vhagar is just too fucking big. maybe if she hadn’t been sent alone this wouldn’t have happened.

so far this has been what has hurt me the most because i love rhaenys’ character and its gonna be so sad not having her around.

granted she went down like a true warrior. it was honorable.

sunfyre is the prettiest dragon to date. i’m so happy we finally got to see him. my gosh it brings me so much happiness to see aegon interacting with sunfyre. that man deserves some happiness in his life. it was truly heart warming.

now i don’t know what the fuck has gotten into aemond. i went to liking his character to completely hating him.

it’s truly each man for himself with this fucking family. tell me how aemond looked straight at aegon (who was happy to see his brother coming to aid) and yelled dracarys. WHAT THE FUCK MAN

this is what happens when you have shitty parents.

i’m not going to fucking stand here and say aegon was innocent when he has teased aemond all his life but does it warrant KILLING YOUR BROTHER? all because he teased you on the brothel when he saw you with your substitute mommy? GROW THE FUCK UP. I know he’s thirsting for the throne but my man you’ll get the chance trust me. THIS IS NOT THE WAY

FUCK i never thought i’d be on aegons side but then again no one on the show is on his fucking side. they don’t treat him like a fucking person but yet another thing to manipulate and it pisses me off

stricking him down wasn’t enough aemond had to find him and put his sword through his body too. thank fuck for criston cole. now that’s something i never thought id say

now i don’t know if he’s alive or dead. i personally think he’s alive but geez aemond. what the fuck?

why didn’t you give him the opportunity to flee in season 1? why must you do this?

if aegon is dead…i’ll be devastated. i’ve grown to like his character these last couple of episodes.

HELL EVEN CRISTON COLE WAS SHOCKED

THE ONLY ONE WHO WORRIED FOR AEGON THIS WHOLE EPISODE

Just goes to show how shitty these people are.

Bottom line. Meleys and Rhaenys had an honorable death. Inevitable once Vaghar joined in because that dragon is much too big. I wanted her to flee but I knew she wouldn’t. She has honor. ✊

also is alicent’s brother dead? or is he around somewhere?

i desperately need more helaena next episode. we didn’t even get a glimpse of her this episode. but if she’s gonna get hurt then i’d rather not have her on the episode. don’t know how ill live if that precious bean is hurt.

this post could’ve been better but my progress was ruined when tumblr decided to delete the post i was working on.

as always feel free to comment so we can talk more about this.

kisses! -Nikki 🤍

[juchily]

Random bot idea so please bear with me,

Hear me out..

If the supernatural is possible within YellowJackets, then thoughts upon a Shapeshifter reader?

They can keep a form yet it mentally hurts them to do so. Such stress piled upon the events that have occurred. Originally, they only joined the YJs to fit in within the town as their form was that of a teen.

So after the crash, they can no longer take a break to shift between forms. They end up going deep into the woods to just, break down, yet little did they know that one of the team members followed them, involuntarily buddy system if you will.

So as they break down, the forms shift and shift, form to form, and it’s shocking. Gradually that one member tells the others and as the trips deeper into the forest continue, so does the advocations for their powers until the whole of the team knows.

Then a confrontation is planned.

And it occurs.

I don’t know why I wrote this, cute little concept and all that!

Toodles!!!

frothing at the mouth I love shape shifters, you can do so much cool stuff with them. DO NOT start that talk with me unless you want a ramble on my sharp shifting OC

If you've watched Young Justice I feel like reader would be like M'gann, like they hold a stark resemblance to a young Helena Bonham Carter, or Winona Ryder, or Angela Basset, or Naomi Campbell, etc, just copying the looks of whoever they first saw on TV when they crash landed on earth (we're going alien to be particular) but they could even be an ancient species that's been asleep in ice in the pits of the ocean for the last few centuries.

Thinking about their autonomy not being the same as a human's, they have heightened senses so they have to play off their good hunting skills as just being taught by their made up human father when they were younger... Or them not sleeping much, at all, or at different times than humans so they have to fake being asleep, doing some stupid "wee-ne-ne-ne huaaagh" ass snores.

Sometimes they'll switch between other forms, they'll sprout little pinfeathers, and they're *so* annoying but they just have to hide it under their clothes and bare it all day until the other girls are asleep, watching birds during the day to learn how to properly prevent the pinfeathers that sprout from their body from all the stress, baby just needs a good bath and some back rubs (two things they're probably barely aware exist) ❤️

They'd probably thrive up to a certain point out in the wilderness (if we ignore any thoughts on the dark parts that come to be and stick to the actual survival stuff), they wouldn't give a shit about washing in the lake half of the time, theyd be like a muddy, providing dog to the group, only washing up to please the other girls or whatever

Away from the headcanons— little trips into the forest to just let themselves exist in their natural form outside of their fleshsona. I want to be self indulgent and make them a full on harpy with snake attributes and the tail of a raccoon but idk. They begin taking them more often as the stress piles up and it becomes noticable. Because after that first time they went into the forest to deflesh themselves their buddy (they were not aware there was a buddy system being put in place in their defense...) caught them, also something they were not aware of despite their heightened senses for plot related reasons.

I'm thinking maybe it was Lottie who was their buddy, and like she went to Laura Lee for her hallucinations, she goes to her being like "Did you know (blank) has wings?" And then the two delusional queers they are thinks they're an angel from heaven literally sent to be their guardian angel, and in a way they are

They get WAY too loud about them gossiping and oogling reader all day and somehow it becomes public knowledge to everyone (minus reader) that Lottie and Laura Lee are stupid mf who think reader is some angel or something. And it's becomes a running joke.

Thinking about while hunting with Nat, reader's true form flashes for a second or so while they're standing over a buck that they shot, but not a lethal shot, so they had to put the thing out of its pain. And so now Nat thinks she's insane like *Lottie and Laura* are.

Until, one fateful day, while dinner is cooking a strau Coyote comes yipping at the cabin and reader, like the guardian-angel-but-not they are, throws the cabin door open and hisses at the thing, and the girls swear to god they have talons as nails. Not to mention the suspiciously bushy limb of fur coming out of their lower back, what is that— raccoon stripes???

And then the funny delusion that reader is a angel isnt *so* far off. Reader is oblivious to the bewildered stares while they eat, suddenly quite sharp teeth tearing into the meat of their earlier hunt.

And then at night when reader has snuck off for another one of their deep forest trips, Nat's like "guys this mf is some biblical bitch or some shit idk more like eldritch god, bro had wings and shit" (ignore that dialogue it's a horrible paraphrase of what I imagine she would say not what she literally would say). And it's like, Nat's is the most realistic person on this team and they've all seen reader look weird as hell.

So, late at night, when reader comes back from their deep forest trip, when they expect everyone to be asleep still (they never were, they pulled a reader and pretended to sleep and the oblivious fuck reader isn't didn't notice one bit)— are jumped with a bunch of questions about "are you an angel", "am I on the naughty list" that one from Van, because honestly the way Nat described your form and your teeth when you ate, you looked like Krampus— and then the obligatory "are you the new jersey devil?!?"

I'm just now realizing writing this that maybe reader is just... the New Jersey Devil but if it could shapeshift?? Which one could say all cryptids can with the varying descriptions of their looks.

Uhm, anyways do with this info what you will based on the bot. I'm going to link another post with the bot and info for the bot here

[b4itslipsaway]

I’ve been a shipper since I was a teenager and I’ve always hated how people are so mean to shippers. Shippers have this beautiful ability to see stories deeper because we have emotional intelligence and understand media literacy.

And I’m confused why people say that romance in plot is unrealistic because quite literally, romance happening is as normal as anything else, in real life. One thing human beings have in common is the feeling of love, that’s one of our main ways of connection in real life and to our favorite stories. And usually a lot of what’s written in television and film, is almost always driven by some type of love.

Like ‘This is Us” for example, that entire story is about love. We see the conflict of these characters, whether it be family dynamic, friendship dynamic, or romantic dynamics; these conflicts always get solved by communication which is a form of love. Communication is a vulnerability between two people who are working to make things better.

I bring this example up to say that romantic love in a story isn’t low brow, it’s actually very normal and yes it does drive the plot forward the same way different types of love do. Just like in real life, romantic love can be a really beautiful, healing, and necessary thing for two characters.

So long story short, it is possible for a show like “The Bear” to be critically acclaimed and have a romantic plot. Because for the people who haven’t noticed, a lot of Carmy’s decisions are directly/indirectly influenced by Sydney. Sydney is more important to him than I think people realize, and yes her character drives his story forward. She is healing him, the same way he is to her; which is then causing him to approach his friends and family in a healthier way, simply because they make an effort to understand each other. Their relationship is a trickle down effect of how the show is so beautiful, because they are quite literally changing each others day to day lives.

All that being said, it wouldn’t really be shocking, if he’s falling in love with her.. idk why that would be shocking to people or deemed unnecessary for the plot. It’s very clear that he can’t be without her, and even said he doesn’t wanna do anything without her. Maybe I’m delusional but their love is necessary for the plot. The plot we’ve seen so far isn’t made up, the writers wrote him that way.. wrote him to need her in his life, whether people like it or not. I think without her it would’ve taken him longer to advance in healing, and yes we can all heal alone but it’s also okay to held by another. Connection is a driving force in a story. And to me it’s really beautiful to see Carmy in a soft manner, like as a viewer I’m happy that his character has someone like Sydney.

idk I’ve always thought romantic love is actually very beautiful and necessary, especially if it’s written as well and nuanced as they do in The Bear.

(Idk if this makes sense y’all but it makes sense to me, the story makes sense with them)

[thisonesatellite]

Tagged by the always wonderful @fsbc-librarian -- thank you so much, darling! 💖💖💖

1. how many works do you have on ao3?

42 works

2. what’s your total ao3 word count?

677,643 (how do i have so many?)

3. what fandoms do you write for?

MCU/Stucky -- this is my main focus and current sandbox. i love to play with these two. OUAT/CS -- that is where i started my fic writing journey and it still makes up the bulk of my works. i no longer write it, but it will always have a soft spot in my heart. Dramione -- i wrote one dramione fic a while back, and it is a ship dynamic i really enjoy. i still have one big, rather epic fic idea for it, too. Since this idea -- (and @mysteriouscatstellation) -- have been bugging me about it for over a year, i absolutely have to write it. Eventually. Obvi. (Actually, it's up next after i finish my East German Stucky Spy Lunacy, shhhhhhhhh.) Leverage -- i also have one Leverage fic. i have literally no idea how that happened. None. This fic basically walked out onto the page and said, my turn. 😂 It did give me a really good opportunity to create an original character though.

4. do you respond to comments? why or why not?

Always. ALWAYS. i love and appreciate each one, from a row of emojis to a page of analysis. i go back often and re-read them, just to motivate myself. People who leave comments are the real heroes. (Although i do understand that not everyone has the spoons to comment, and that's OK, too. Just know that if you leave me a single emoji i will love it no less than if you write a dissertation. 💖💖💖)

5. have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not that i know of. But i haven't checked either.

6. have you ever co-written a fic before?

Yes -- The Sword and The Heart, an epic rewrite of OUAT S5 i tackled with the amazing @ohmightydevviepuu. If you have never collaborated with another writer, i strongly urge you to try it. i learned things about myself and my writing that i am still benefiting from to this day and i am immensely proud of what we created together. However, that is pretty much due to dev being the best collaborator ever. (Get yourself someone you trust and love and yet challenges you at every turn, is what i'm saying.)

7. what’s your all-time favourite ship?

That's a hard question, because affinity does change -- and why wouldn't it. We change, become different people, and sometimes the things we used to bleed for no longer resonate quite as hard. Like - my OG ship was Buffy /Angel, and i have the absolute soft spot of all time for them, but also i'm (obviously) no longer in high school and so the urgency has subsided. There have been a few other ships i've sideswiped over the years, characters i absolutely loved but never quite got 'ship-invested' in. (Shipvested? 😂) Personally, one factor is definitely that i did not know what a fandom was, or even that there was 'fandom' (as a concept, a community, a Thing) until Captain Swan tore a hole in my heart five years ago. i didn't really know what fanfic was. Or AO3. Apparently i live under a rock. But currently, the tl;dr is a dead tie between Stucky, Captain Swan, and James Holden /Naomi Nagata from The Expanse. With lots of honorable mentions bringing up the rear. 😂

8. what are your writing strengths?

Plot, dialogue, world building, and having characters stay true to their nature even when seen through various AU lenses, i think. Also action and fights and sometimes even battles. And i think i have a knack for letting exposition bleed through action and dialogue, instead of writing it outright. (That last one is a hard-won skill and kills me dead at least once a chapter, you feel me.) i also put a ridiculous amount of research into everything. Seriously, it's a sickness. i once spent more than two hours looking up radio dramas from the 30s that had a supernatural bent and might appeal to teenagers. For half a throwayway line. Possibly i should not list this as a strength. 😂

9. what are your writing weaknesses?

Smut. SMUT ALL THE WAY. i cannot write it, i don't know how. People who read my fic will always get shortchanged in the E department and for that i am sorry. But i really am completely useless on the smut front. And fluff. i can do soft scenes, but i cannot write pure fluff. i don't know how to do that either. i'll write a fucking coffee shop oneshot, or a thieves AU that doesn't even crack 5K, or even a BARTENDER fic, and yet complex back story and plot and action will still burst out from between the lines. All you people out there who can just tear off a sex scene or a fluff piece, i salute you. Also all you people who have multiple WIPs. i don't know how you do it. i can only ever write one fic at a time. You are all wizards, aren't you.

10. first fandom you wrote for?

OUAT /Captain Swan, back in 2019.

Zero pressure tags: @sparkagrace @cable-knit-sweater @bittersweet-in-boston @late-to-the-party-81 @metalbvcky @voylitscope

[strangerfigs]

maybe this is an unpopular opinion but you are just as valid of byler shipper if you have doubt or full on do not think they are gonna happen like i guess just shout out to all my bylers who are doubters because i truly as mike wheeler once said, don’t know what’s going to happen next, but i think it would be better if we were a team. anyway. like idk. i just am so unsure if they are gonna happen or not ?? like the subtext speaks volumes but i feel like they intentionally write it as it going either way. or many ways. ??? like even in the season 1, dustin saying that lucas is mike’s BEST friend makes me wonder if the duffers really didn’t see the potential of byler until later?? esp because they said they wrote mike as a very typical straight charqcter at first but then they met finn and changed his character. idk. ig i also just wonder about the party dynamics before will went missing because we really don’t actually know much about it. like did things change after will went missing because it’s evident and so clear that mike’s closest friend is will in every season after season 1 even when they are fighting and even when he is spending a lot of time with lucas. it’s just very very clear there is a bond there that is either outside of the party or closer than the party and it’s literally verbalized by mike himself in season 4 when he tells will that the others are great but it’s not the same without him. if it just wasn’t the same without him then he would just say that part but it’s clear since he mentions the others that he ranks will higher than them which is just funny because mike literally tells dystin that they are all his best friends and makes a point out of it so it’s just very funny but it really does make me wonder if it used to be like that but then mike sort of realized in s2 that will is his best friend whether that be from what happened or just like realization but just from mikes little monologue it’s also sort of implied that will is his BEST friend as that is the BEST decision he has ever made so. interesting. but yeah it just really makes me wonder the purpose of that scene with Dustin where he tells him that when the rest of the show past s1 clearly depicts will (and eleven) as the central points in mike’s plot lines and idk, maybe s3 was mike trying to return to his previous dynamic with will (pre- will being taken) but it’s no longer that dynamic anymore? and in doing so, mike kind of ruins their “new” dynamic a bit (not really but also kind of) but there is also no going back to their previous dynamic. so then in s4, mike is pretty sure that dynamic is ruined. I mean they never really made up in season 3. will brushes it off and they focus on the more important issues at hand. but it still happened, and while they have that scene at the end, where will tells him he isn’t going to join another party, I feel like that honestly just repairs the “party” dynamic esp because Will told Mike “you’re ruining the party” and Mike spent a majority of the first half of the season treating Will the same as Dustin and/or Lucas, categorizing them in the same “best friend” title, forcing that dynamic back into place even though, obviously, Will and Mike grew closer in s2, or at least their bond solidified, but Mike is just kind of pretending that didn’t happen? so s3 ends with will basically confirming that the party is still in tact and mike didn’t ruin it and will still wanted to be a part of it regardless of him moving, mike ruining it, him and Lucas being assholes, and mike being even a bigger asshole. but I think that the fight they had was more of a will/mike fight then it was actually about the party. it’s separate than the party dynamic and it’s more about their special bond which is why Mike runs up after him and Lucas stays in the basement, but it does result in Mike and Will having an entirely different fight of their own, which is both a stand alone fight because Mike says some fucked up shit, and Will insults his gf and says he is ruining the party. like Lucas isn’t even aware of all this!!!

(I ran out of text block). Lucas thinks that they were just a holes and they were but are apologizing for mocking him, so anyway, yeah: I just am getting at how this sort of refers again to the closer bond/additional dynamic that will and mike have which i’m not even fully convinced dustin and lucas are even aware exists? even though it so obviously does but a lot of mike and will’s most intimate moments, or moments that it’s clear they have a deeper connection, happen while they are alone. and I think Mike because he has this “you are all my best friend” mentality I think also feels guilty in s3 for having favored will or having a deeper bond with him than dustin or lucas. i think he is trying to balance it all and have it all and mike can only have one person outside of the party that he is especially close with at a time and he can barely keep that up but it’s why in s3 he feels so miserably because it’s the party, will, and el that he is trying to balance out. he therefore tries to just group will in with the party but their relationship/friendship has evolved past that so it sort of just collapses in on itself, and while the other party members are annoyed with Mike, it hits will even harder because yes, he loves him, but also because they did develop that strong bond that went deeper than the party, and now it just didn’t even exist

I think it’s safe to say that I’m totally just rambling at this point but I think it’s interesting to have s4 because it really does feel like in s3, they broke apart completely, and by the end of the season; Will was back in the party and that dynamic was healed but that wasn’t the only dynamic/bond they shared, and it really feels like in season 4, that bond is healed and restored, and mike admits to it, and WANTS it back, and admits to feeling like he lost will (due to worrying too much about el which honestly has so many meanings - worrying about her being happy, worrying about making her happy, worrying about being the perfect boyfriend so she doesn’t break up with him because he feels like he has has a mask on in the sense that he said one day she is just gonna realize he is a nerd like he has just been putting on this act and it’s so interesting and it’s so obvious too in all the season 3 scenes as well that he is just doing or saying whatever she wants to hear in so many of their scenes like that bike scene where they were just together and he is riding to the movie theater like she literally says ‘I wish you were still here right now’ and he says ‘yeah me too’ but he could have stayed like he is going to the movies and I know it’s just a small lie and like he would be a douche if he didn’t agree but it’s just such an interesting thing to include by the duffers because he isn’t going home, he could still be with her but he goes to his friends to see a movie. but I think it says a lot regarding the genuineness and sincerity of mikes words vs his actions like it is such a huge juxtaposition to create this scene idk).

anyways back to s4. s4 restores their special bond. mike is the most direct he has ever been regarding his closeness to will compared to the other members of the party. i think mike may have realized it when will left ? or at least realized he couldn’t shove will in with the rest of the party once he left, but i do feel like mike thinks he ruined it last summer with will because they barely make up as party best friends let alone best friend best friends outside of the group dynamic/bestie #1 so it sort of feels like mike just assumes he fucked that up, and he didn’t realize that Will would still want/wanted to be BEST friends with him until that roller rink scene (which is supposed to be what they are anyways because of what Mike told Dustin but I think it’s just another testament to the fact that Mike’s bond with Will is deeper and separate from the rest of the party.) I think especially too with Will not really speaking to him that whole day he didn’t really think that Will cared that much about their friendship (like to Mike, shouldn’t Will be happy that he is here? shouldn’t he be spending that time talking to him?) so I do think Mike is surprised when Will asks what about us because he didn’t realize this feeling was reciprocated because to him, really, in his little mike perspective, they had a huge fight where Will said he was ruining the party, and then when Mike tried to resolve things, Will didn’t seem interested in doing so… so (and I also think this is why Mike is so surprised that Will doesn’t plan to join another party but I do really think this was putting a bandaid on a very damaging rupture of their’s) and I think that is why he is also projecting in the sense that Mike knows that he is guilty of the rupture which caused them to drift to start with so him asking why he is always the bad guy is out of defense and guilt that this is how their friendship was now, but also a little bitterness as well because will wasn’t receptive to Mike trying to patch things up with him, and also the fact that Will was again blaming him for their friendship being the way it was when Will didn’t reach out either and how was Mike supposed to even know if Will wanted him to seeing as how things ended last summer? But also I think it’s clear that Mike tried calling more often than Will thought. Also - I think because Mike is into this idea of justice among the party and everyone being his bestie, and this is totally a hc, but he probably replicated Dustin and Lucas in regards to how often they reached out to Will and the means of how they did which wasn’t letters. Plus, Mike was pretty depressed so ! I’m sure it was hard to do anything.

All this to say, I think their friendship is lovely and beautiful and special, and while I do think that Mike has feelings for Will, I also hope (and have hope) for s5 that the st writers will honor their close bond and friendship because it is different and it is beautiful and I think that s4 really healed byler’s friendship 🙏like even when they are back with eleven, there is an obvious closeness between them that sort of proves that they are healed in that aspect which I just think is beautiful because I love their friendship so much and if the duffers aren’t going to give us Byler then I pray to god that they at least honor their beautiful and close friendship because god dammit it’s amazing. !!!!!

anyways, it is just fun to analyze their friendship because the ship is literally childhood friends to lovers which is my cup of tea, but I just feel like their friendship needs to be super strong in the 5th season and I feel at least very confident in that? which is good and nice. I will still be heart broken if byler doesn’t happen and i do have my doubts and i hope they do happen but if the duffers can at least honor their beautiful friendship then i think I’ll be okay in the end ??

but anyways. that’s some thoughts of mine

[robinsno1lesbian]

𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐌𝐏𝐀𝐆𝐍𝐄 𝐏𝐑𝐎𝐁𝐋𝐄𝐌𝐒 - 𝐑.𝐁. & 𝐍.𝐖.

you had a speech, you're speechless love slipped beyond your reaches and I couldn't give a reason

nancy wheeler x robin buckley

𝐬𝐮𝐦𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐲: years after what happened in hawkins, nancy and robin meet again and things take a different turn from what they'd expected

𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐝 𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐭: 4663

𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬: 18+ mature content! (MDNI), porn with plot & feelings lmao, mild angst, implied cheating, mention of alcohol, vaginal fingering, oral sex (as always let me know if i missed anything!)

𝐧𝐨𝐭𝐞: 1 year of ronance?? one thing: i wrote this on ao3 at first but when i was about to post it, they messed up the entire format. i sort of fixed it (took HOURS) but it might still look a bit odd?? idk just ignore that part i'm too lazy to fix it right now, it's almost midnight lmao! <3

when robin first saw her standing in the doorway, her heart dropped. not because she wasn't happy to see her because, god she was, but because it felt like seeing a ghost. a person from her past she would've never expected. especially not now, in the middle of a rainy july night she had planned on spending all alone on her couch.

nancy wheeler doesn't look like a ghost though, she looks so very real. her hair has grown much longer than robin has ever seen it and her face has changed too. she seems so much older but in all the right ways. in the ways, robin knows from whenever she looks in the mirror herself. they aren't kids anymore though that's just about how long it must have been since she last saw her.

she is dripping, summer rain drenching her clothes and soaking her hair. she's got her arms wrapped around herself, light blue eyes widened in surprise as if she wasn't expecting robin to actually open the door. strange, robin thinks, considering that she quite literally came to her apartment. but any of this, any thoughts and doubts vanish the second nancy speaks. it's just one word, but hearing the sound of her voice again is enough for her to feel an odd sense of comfort.

"robin-" she says, her facial expression something robin can't wrap her head around. she has half a smile on her lips and yet her eyes betray her. they're somehow scared as if she fears robin would send her away again. they hold a bit of surprise too that probably comes from the fact that this is her first time seeing robin too.

and just like that she stands there, in the hallway of robin's house, leaving a trail of waterdrops behind and smiling in a way that immediately captures the other woman's heart, even after years that have passed. as if she was never truly gone.

"nance..." robin mumbles, her raspy voice cracking when the nickname falls from her lips. "what- god what are you going here? i mean- i- god" she shakes head and steps all the way out of her apartment and into nancy's space. she can't even help herself but wrap her arms around the other girl's body and pull her into a hug. she can hear her gasps and loosens her hug for just a second, afraid that she has made a mistake, but nancy holds her in place and returns the hug with a soft "oh".

she can feel her wet clothes soaking the fabric of her own but she doesn't care. she doesn't care about anything but the fact that nancy is here, with her.

"oh my god" she mumbles and leans back, palms still holding her by the shoulders to look at her from up close "oh my god".

nancy chuckles, her smile spreading across her whole face. she seems relieved.

"you should-" she turns around to give a quick glance into her apartment. thank god she chose to clean up earlier. "you should come inside" ──────────────────

robin's couch bounces slightly under their weight as both women drop down onto it: nancy wearing a skirt and blouse that haven't gotten as wet due to her coat and robin with a bottle of wine and two glasses that she fills up for them.

she isn't sure when or why she has gotten this bottle, considering that she was never really a wine type of woman. but this seems like the right occasion or a least she hopes so.

it's not like she never really knew much about that either. she feels unusually exposed like this, well aware of nancy's eyes on her as she hands her the glass.

"so.." robin finally finds her voice "what brings you here?"

nancy takes a sip from her glass before she answers and robin's eyes immediately fall upon her jaw and the way it moves as she swallows the liquid. she drags her eyes away from it when nancy puts the glass down.

"steve gave me the address" she begins. "i was in town and...i didn't know where else to go"

"hold on" robin furrows her brows. "why are you in town?"

nancy inhales slowly. "i mean...i wanted to see you...i think...i- i kept thinking about you and i didn't have anything else to do"

robin wants to be surprised, wants to ask a million questions but how could she when nancy said that she wanted to see her ? that she kept thinking about her ? these words have her heart racing in her chest in excitement. the kind of excitement that reminds her of her youth and of all the times she had spent loving nancy. from afar at first and then from up close too, though no one ever knew about that.

it was their little secret, the one thing they had and shared in times when everything else had been ripped from them.

it was not what they should have done, robin knows that and she knows nancy knows too. it was tragic and heartbreaking and yet it was beautiful for as long as it lasted. and then, from one day to the other, it had all been gone.

"how long has it been?" nancy asks and tilts her head.

she looks beautiful like this, robin thinks, with her knees drawn to her body while she has an arm propped up up the armrest. she looks older, too; her hair has grown longer and her eyes seem to be less...tired? or exhausted, maybe?

either way, robin knows what must've caused this; the sleepless nights that followed the events of 1986 had left a mark on all of them. that seems to be gone now, though. or at least a lot less present.

robin wonders if nancy still falls asleep to the sound of jonathan's breathing. if they're still as strong as they were at 18. but she can't bring herself to ask that. she can't bare to hear the truth about the nights they had spent together back then.

although she can imagine it perfectly fine: "we were children robin" nancy would say, nipping on her glass of wine occasionally. "we didn't know what we were doing. it meant nothing". only the voice of imaginary nancy in her head makes her heart drop. it didn't mean nothing to her. of course not.

but nancy had jonathan, chose jonathan. even after the nights they had spent nuzzled up against one another beneath the weight of the blanket, telling stories about the things they would do once all of this would be over.

years have passed ever since. years of occasional calls, questions about life but always avoiding those topics. years of telling each other they would meet again soon and somehow they never did. robin wonders what changed.

"i'm not sure i want to know, actually" robin chuckles. "too long, that's for sure" "yeah" nancy nods, her gaze lingering on the coffee table absentmindedly for a split second. "too long"

she turns the wine glass in her hands before she finally speaks: "so, robin buckley" her head turns to look at her, her deep blue eyes sending shivers down robin's spine.

"how have you been here?"

"oh you know-" robin shrugs. "getting around...i have a pretty solid job, an apartment i like..."

"is-" nancy cuts herself off for a second, as if she's reconsidering her words, before she does speak "is there anyone?"

"oh" she blushes slightly, praying that it is dark enough to conceal the soft shade of red of her cheeks. "no...i mean, i guess there have been women but...it never felt right"

never felt right with anyone but you, is what robin means to say. she wants to scream it, at the top of her lungs, like she should've done when nancy left hawkins. maybe if she would've done so, things would be different now.

"what about you?" she asks instead, chewing the insides of her cheeks nervously.

the sight of this makes nancy chuckle to herself; years have gone by and this is still robin. all grown up now, long curls held out of her face with a hair claw so that her freckled skin is on full display. but it's still her: the tall girl who reached for her hand in the upside down, who held her when no one else did, who put bandages to the wound that have scarred now but are still a permanent reminder of who they are. who had always been so unapologetically herself.

"it's...difficult" she answers, drowning the last bits of wine in one gulp to give her the strength to go on. "jonathan and i we- well we were engaged as you know-"

the words are enough for her to internally flinch. she does know. she remembers the day she got the letter, inviting her to their 'engagement party' in big, loopy letters. it all seemed so final then. not like it hadn't already felt final before, but this seemed to be it.

"yeah" she nods.

"but that kind of...didn't work as we had planned" nancy looks down at her hands, at the spot where the engagement ring used to sit -tying her to a person whom she could never love the way he deserved it.

robin's gaze follows her, eyes widening slightly when she finds the spot empty. "what happened?"

"i don't think our visions of a future matched the way we thought they would. he had all those dreams and...i knew i couldn't give him that"

she nods along to her words softly.

"when did you...?"

"it's been a little while" nancy explains and puts the glass on the coffee table. "it's fine we don't- let's not talk about him right now okay?"

she knows robin deserves the truth. probably the most out of all people. but nancy is also well aware that this truth, her truth, could ruin them more than life already has. and she isn't ready to lose robin.

"of course, of course" robin agrees. "whatever you prefer it's just..."

she reaches out softly and ever so slowly until her hand reaches nancy's. their fingers link in an instant and for a split second, they're in the upside down again, darkness all around while creatures of terror are screeching in the distance. they're both 18 once more, secretly head over heels for the other while knowing they could not be.

just like all these years ago, skin meets skin and all the worries in this world become white noise to their feelings.

nancy blinks and her eyes find robin's. they're 26 again, in a beautiful apartment that is more robin than anything imaginable. times have changed, they have too.

"you got this" she whispers, just like nancy once did. "and even if you don't, i got you"

a soft smile creeps upon her features, softening the sharp edges of her face that she never grew out of. robin is happy she didn't. she has always been the most beautiful woman robin has ever laid her eyes on and yet mid-20s look good on nancy, probably even better than 18.

"maybe i should have stayed" nancy mumbles. "robin did i...did i make the wrong choice?"

she clears her throat, slightly taken aback by the answer. her younger-self would have yelled now. she would have yelled and screamed and cried about how she did make the wrong choice and how she broke her heart by leaving.

but she has grown.

nancy hadn't been ready, unlike herself. it had been unfair, but that's the way it was then. robin had sworn herself she wouldn't waste her time waiting for a woman that had chosen her own way.

now she knows that she has waited all along.

"you didn't, you- you weren't ready nancy" she explains. "this couldn't have worked like this"

nancy tilts her head and gives her a look that tells her just how thankful she is. she also leans in a lot closer than she did before. but maybe robin is imagining that part.

"is there still time...?" she breathes. oh she's definitely not imagining that. she can feel nancy's breath on her face. "can i- god, please let me fix this"

and then she closes the little distance that is left between them.

her lips feel softer than they did back then. she must've dropped the anxious habit of chewing on them. but robin doesn't care about that right now, and pushes the thought away for another time.because nancy, her nancy, is kissing her again.

it's been years of longing for the taste of those lips and yet robin remembers. robin remembers everything.

they still feel like flying on clouds and taste like the summer of '86. their mouths meet softly at first, testing long-forgotten waters. they're a long series of pressing carefully and giving in for the silent plead. that's until nancy's part slightly and robin can't help but follow suit immediately.

nancy allows robin to take control over the kiss, unlike she had done back when they first kiss.

the sensation of tongues sliding against each other has her head spinning too much to remain in control over anything.

robin wastes no time in pulling them up, her lips never leaving nancy's as they move through the apartment in a haze.

"h-how do you- i mean- is this-" robin curses herself for this damn rambling that comes up at the most inconvenient of all times. the other woman doesn't mind though. she just smiles.

"your bedroom, robin" she whispers.

"oh, yeah...yeah right" robin says, biting her lip.

that same smile is still plastered over nancy's face when she mumbles a sweet invitation of "come here" and wraps her arms around her again.

they stumble down the hallway of the apartment, occasionally walking against corners and walls without breaking their kiss. there is a trail of clothing following them on the wooden floor, a sweater, a blouse, and a tank top lining up until where they're standing. nancy chuckles against her lips as the taller woman struggles to find the doorknob behind her, all while she is getting pressed against it by her. once she figures it out, robin wastes no time in pulling nancy inside. suddenly very self-conscious, she stands in front of her, finally allowing robin to take in the beautiful sight in front of her.

she is standing right in front of robin the woman who she loved all these years ago. who she still loves, if she's being honest. but this is probably not the time for this conversation, nancy decides. not when she's wearing nothing but a lacy bra and her jeans still, just waiting for robin to undress her.

"you're- you're so beautiful, nancy" robin whispers, her eyes glued to her body. there's no shame in her shameless gaping. for the first time, she can actually do so without feeling utterly ashamed. and she's making some good use of that. blush creeps up her chest and robin's lips curl into a smile.

"you're beautiful too" nancy returns and steps into her space. robin is wearing a rather decent, black bra, but god it looks good. she reaches out, her palm meeting robin's upper arm just beneath her shoulder. neither of them speaks, heavy breathing the only proper noise they can manage as she runs her hand upwards softly. over the outstanding collarbones, the hundreds of freckles she has counted more times than she cares to admit, over the soft flesh of her pulse point, until her fingers wrap around the back of her neck.

robin has moved her hands down to settle on nancy's waist and, just like that, she pulls her in. they lean in slowly, slower than they've ever done it before. seizing every second they can get of this.

it is nancy who eventually closes the distance by pulling robin towards her with her hand on her neck.

their moths meet parted, hot breaths past each other's lips while they press their foreheads together.

"i want you" nancy mumbles and is rewarded by robin's mouth pressing against hers. their tongues slide together within seconds. they move together softly at first, taking their time to explore each other's mouths. but when robin sucks nancy's bottom lip into her mouth and nancy audibly gasps at the feeling, the last bits of remaining ice is broken.

this is also all it takes for the kisses to reach new heights, hands roaming freely while they're still hooked to the other's lips. eventually, though, robin breaks the kiss. nancy is about to complain, at least that's until robin's lips attach to her neck and her parted lips -prepared to let out a complaint- open wider to let out a sinful gasp, followed by "oh Robin".

her mouth is doing some absolute magic work on her neck that has her legs shaking and leaves her with no other choice but to hold on to the back of her head and pray that she won't stop anytime soon. robin isn't planning on stopping, of course. this, the feeling of nancy's fingers curling up in her hair, her racing pulse beneath her lips, her soft moans like fuel to the fire that's burning within her, it's all so much. it's pure bliss. it's not nearly enough.

as her tongue licks a long stripe up nancy's neck, her fingers find her nipples through the thin lace of her bra. nancy mumbles some incoherent words of how she needs it off of her but robin gets the hint and reaches around her body, unclasps it with surprising ease that has nancy wondering just how many women robin has been with since her, and let's gravity do the rest of the work as it drops to the floor.

nancy's eyes meet hers and she feels almost shy now, with robin still in her underwear while she has been stripped out of her own. that can be changed though, she realizes, and steps forward to get robin into an equal state of undressing.

robin chuckles to see how eager nancy seems to be to ger her naked but doesn't mind one bit. she guides the other woman to the bed, where she sits down on the edge of the mattress before pulling nancy onto her lap.

her fingers run over her cheeks, cupping her face in her soft hands while she looks down at her through the dim light.

"i missed this" she whispers quietly, so quietly robin isn't even sure she was supposed to hear it. her voice is layered with so many emotions but nancy wheeler is not gonna get emotional about sex. yet the image of robin is enough for her to start crying if she just focused on that for long enough. "i missed you".

"i missed you too, nance" robin replies. her voice is as raspy as it ever was, like music to nancy's ears.

"please touch me!"

and so she does. she brings her lips to her chest and kisses all over her skin. nancy leans her head back immediately, her eyes fluttering shut at the heavenly sensation of finally having her mouth on her body again. she still has a hand behind her head and guides her softly, giving her a suggestive tug of her hair, closer to her hardened nipples. robin understands within seconds and wraps her lips around them before sucking softly. her eyes meet nancy's as she does so and she is delighted to see that nancy's lips have parted and she is panting at the new feeling.

"oh god...yes!"

her lips begin trailing further downward after a bit more of this, further and further, as far as their current position allows it. at the same time, she has both of her palms on nancy's back to hold her close.

"beautiful" she whispers. "so beautiful...so pretty..."

then, when nancy least expects it, she spins them around so that she has her laying beneath herself. nancy lets out a noise of surprise that turns into sweet laughter once she realizes what robin is up to.

she watches her with curious eyes as the other woman props herself up over her with both of her arms. it gives her just the right amount of space between their bodies to wrap her arms around her body and, with a questioning tilt of her head that robin confirms with a nod, take off her bra too. once she has loosened it, she allows the fabric to slide down her body.

her fingers dance over robin's ribcage faintly, feeling the swell of scars that she carries from the battle in hawkins still. she hopes that each line of her fingerprints might help them heal.

robin's breathing is labored when nancy's hands find her breasts and she gives them both a gentle, careful squeeze.

"holy shit nance-" her voice is richly layered with want for the girl beneath her and carries little cracks with it that shoot right down to nancy's center.

she leans down again, kissing her already swollen lips. she would probably allow nancy to play with her tits for hours -maybe one day she will actually ask her to do so, assuming that this is more than a one-time thing- but she wants her, needs her. nancy sucks on her tongue and robin groans audibly, a noise from deep inside her throat. finally, her lips move downwards again, except that this time their position is not an obstacle for that. she kisses her way down, until she is laying between nancy's legs, her fingers hooked around the waistband of her skirt. she lookes up at her and mumbles "can i?"

"please" nancy nods. "please"

robin pulls down both her underwear and the skirt and brings it all the way down her long legs before throwing it over her shoulder absentmindedly. she keeps looking right into nancy's eyes though, not wanting to make her uncomfortable by gaping at her pussy. nancy wouldn't mind though, if anything, she would greatly appreciate it if robin finally gave her the attention she wants.

she spreads her legs even wider and finally, robin's eyes wander lower. she visibly licks her lips and inhales sharply at the sight in front of her:

nancy is wet. she's so wet and wanting for her.

she fights back the internal urge to press her thighs together, because that would mean robin would probably lean back and that is the last thing she wants. instead, she grabs the back of her head and bucks her hips upwards. robin gets the hint and lets it happen, lets her pull her face into her. she puts her hands to her inner thighs and holds her open as she licks a broad, long stripe through her with the flat of her tongue, before circling her clit with the tip of it.

it seems as if she hasn't forgotten a thing after all this time, as if she still remembers all the spots that have nancy seeing stars. she wraps her lips around her clit after some more licks and sucks gently, immediately earning an arch of nancy's back and a broken moan of her name in response.

she keeps teasing around her clit with her tongue and then occasionally dips down to gather more of her arousal on her tongue to bring it up.

"fuck nancy" she breathes, voice all hoarse. "you taste so fucking good"

nancy only tries to pull robin closer at that. she feels so hungry right now. she wants more, she needs more. nancy doubts she has ever felt this way before. not with Jonathan, definitely not with steve back then. and even the nights she has spent with robin...nothing could compare to what this feels like. back then they had to rush things, had to keep it quiet, had to love each other in utter silence. now she can love her freely, she can let robin love her freely. for the first time she doesn't have the weight of shame on her shoulders.

robin is still sweeping her tongue through her, but she does it slowly. firm and with purpose, but it is obvious that she wants to take her time with this. just like nancy does.

"oh robin..." nancy's eyes have fallen shut, which gives her no warning when robin begins toying a singular finger to her entrance. her eyes fly open at that but before she has time to fully comprehend it, she pushes it inside and she cries out loud. the noise has robin clenching around nothing between her own legs because she can head just how good nancy is feeling because of her.

she pumps it into her a couple of times, attentively watching what nancy seems to like before the woman above her lets out a whiny "more please" and she adds a second one to it. the pushes it into her slowly but nancy takes it all, moaning as she stretches her further.

"oh- oh my god robin- right there fuck" she moans.

robin wastes no time in getting her mouth back on her and syncing the licks of her tongue over her clit with the thrusts of her fingers. "you're so pretty like this" she mumbles against her and the vibration of her voice goes right into nancy's aching cunt. after a couple of minutes of this, of slow thrusts and licking, she starts picking up her pace. she can feel nancy growing slightly impatient; hips rolling with each curl of her fingers and fingernails scratching her scalp in a desperate attempt to have her closer.

she gets a reaction out of her immediately. the volume of her moans increases and she can feel her legs shaking around her head.

"robin- shit robin- i'm- i'm close" nancy gasps, her back arching off the mattress while she rocks her hips forward in quick motions, chasing her orgasm. "please- please robin please"

"shh" robin hushes her and puts a palm to her stomach to ground her back down onto the bed. "don't worry nance, i told you i got you"

and with that, she picks up her pace again, much quicker this time. high pitched moans echo through the room as nancy grabs for robin's other hand that is still sitting on her thigh and holds onto it for dear life as she comes. robin fucks her through it, and allows her to ride her orgasm out on her tongue; she just lays it flatly against her, and nancy does the rest of it.

nancy's moans are louder than she has ever heard them. she sounds so fucking pretty, robin thinks to herself.

eventually, nancy's orgasm has washed over her and she comes down from her height. she is panting, her chest rising and falling while her eyes are still closed and she is leaning back.

"holy shit" she breathes and chuckles, the aftershocks still rippling through her limbs.

"yeah..." robin mumbles, chin and fingers covered in nancy's cum. "holy shit"

"god" nancy opens her arms. she sounds still breathless but her gaze settles firmly on robin. "come here please"

that's all the woman needs to hear. she slowly withdraws her fingers from her, still careful not to accidentally overstimulate her right now. once she has pulled all the way out, she crawls up her body and nancy wraps her arms around her to hold her especially close. she kisses all over her, every part of her head she can reach: her hair, her forehead, her cheeks, her nose. "thank you" she manages in between kisses. "oh thank you robin..."

robin just smiles, allows her to hold onto her as she recovers from her orgasm.

she's not sure what this means yet, not sure what will happen once they finish whatever this is. she knows she wants nancy to stay. not just for the night but for much longer. she knows that letting her go again would be too much for her to bare after she has lost her once before.

so she holds her just a tiny bit closer to her own body, strokes just a little bit more of her skin she can reach, and whispers sweet nothings to her to steady her racing heart. makes use of everything she can get as long as she has it, the fear of nancy leaving slowly creeping into her head.

little does she know that nancy, who is running her fingers through her hair as she enjoys the soft kisses and touches on her skin, has already made up her mind. that for the first time ever, nancy is not afraid to make a choice this fundamental.

nancy knows what she really, truly wants. she knows she wants robin.

and she will show her just how much...

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。. currently very tempted to write a part 2 so...

[lumiereandcogsworth]

and AND okay I saw your screenshots of Maurice and Belle hugging in his castle and it got me wondering, if HE had stayed there, do you think the curse could've been broken? like obviously it might've taken more time for either of them to start liking the other but do you think a fatherly bond could break the curse or do you think adam would just reject him because "gross, fathers 🤮" and keep him locked up/ignore him?

GOSH THIS IS SOOOO INTERESTING!!!!!!!!!! buckle up because i basically wrote the plot of how this goes down and it’s epic >:)

i do love their bond so much. like post-curse? they’re so precious to me. adam is so nervous around him (for so much longer than he needs to be sjdksj) and was so deeply apologetic and respectful and like. gosh i mean how do you justify “i know i imprisoned both you and your daughter and definitely made you think i’d kill you both but can i please date and possibly marry her now? 👉👈” it’s CRAZY. but of course they get well acquainted, much with belle’s help, to the point of being THE sweetest father- and son-in-law you’ve literally ever seen.

BUT WHAT IF THEY JUST ENDED UP KIND OF STUCK WITH EACH OTHER??? sooo interesting. i definitely agree that yeah, adam would absolutely ignore him for a good long while. not even the servants would consider maurice to be an option for breaking the curse (i mean, they know adam is into men too, but they just Don’t Think maurice is his type🤔) but they do still break him out and bring him to a bedroom i think. because they’re KIND and he’s a sickly old man and i think they were legit worried he would die (and if he stayed in that dungeon? he definitely would have.)

i also don’t think anyone would try to force them to have dinner together at first. they’d make sure maurice ate but probably kept him in his room just kinda like “i guess we’ll just take care of him now !!!!!”

adam & maurice probably first interacted when maurice was feeling better. they warned him not to go near the master since he wasn’t Super Happy they moved him from the dungeon to the bedroom, but that he could go walk around if he so chose. so maurice would go on short wanderings around the castle. maybe he’d find the library (and think “GOSH i wish belle could see this”) and adam would happen to walk by and SCREAM at him asking WHY is he here??? GET OUT!!!! and maurice would go very quickly back to his bedroom😳

i think it would take a lot of convincing/wearing down from lumiere and the gang being like “no he’s actually a really nice man! and HEY… maybe if you befriend him… and his daughter returns… maybe something could happen !! ;)” and adam’s like “that’s literally ridiculous. first of all this man is old and dirty and A THIEF? a CRIMINAL? second of all his daughter seems just as foolish and will probably never come back for him. why would she bother?” and they’re like “we’ve been talking to him though and i think he and his daughter… Love Each Other … ?” and adam’s like. that’s sickening. goodbye.

anyway long story short it would definitely take a WHILE. the servants keep telling adam little things about maurice, or he just overhears them talking about him, or to him, and then… perhaps one day, adam finds maurice in the portraits hall. and adam usually never goes in there but he sees him through the open doorway and he’s like 🤨 and begrudgingly goes in. and maurice is like 😳 at first but notices adam doesn’t seem As Angry. and also isn’t Stomping after him. just sort of coming over. and adam keeps his distance and says “what are you doing here” and maurice is like “my apologies… i was just admiring all these portraits! i’m an artist, you see” and adam’s like >:/ (doesn’t know how to hold a conversation) and it’s very awkward and weird. maurice tries to ask a couple questions about the artists of the portraits but adam doesn’t really have much insight. but maurice doesn’t mind this, he starts rambling about his own artistic background, the portraits he’s done, all this stuff. and adam’s just like. okay👍 and essentially leaves.

but that’s the first shift into realizing that maybe maurice isn’t scum of the earth? maybe he’s a kind man? and something shifts in adam because he’s obviously always unconsciously longed for a good father figure, so i think he starts very slowly being drawn to conversations with maurice. even if he has nothing to contribute, just likes listening to this kind man share his stories, somehow sprinkling life advice into it (as dads always do) and that kind of thing. slowly but surely, adam very slightly starts opening up, until eventually they’re having actual conversations. they go on walks, they talk about art, and paris, and horses, and books. maurice talks about his daughter all the time too.

all the while, adam (and the servants!) have this hope that if adam & maurice can just get close enough, and if belle is able to return somehow, (i cannot even fathom the plot reason for why she can’t come back quickly but i’m gonna chock it up to the Castle Time Zone situation. it feels a lot longer here than it is lol), anyway, if belle is able to return somehow, maybe maurice will endorse their courtship, since he seems to have taken a liking to the peculiar beast. it all feels impossible of course, but that’s the hope.

time (castle time) continues to pass, adam and maurice become so deeply acquainted with each other. adam is almost entirely unafraid to share deeper thoughts with maurice, he really learns to trust him, to care about him. somewhere inside… he maybe begins to love him.

and maurice?? oh he’s definitely learned to love this lad. like 100% he adores adam. he grows to have such a fondness for him, i think it even crosses his mind that “in another life” he’d be a suitable partner for his daughter. but he knows they’ll have to get acquainted and be friends, at the very least. but yeah, there’s definitely love in his heart for adam. they were always meant to have this father-son bond!!!😭

i think it would be so sweet if it just happened so randomly. if adam and maurice were sitting and chatting in the library one night. their topic of conversation had taken a slightly more serious route, and adam shares some kind of insecurity about never really having been loved… not since his mother died. and maurice just smiles sadly and puts a hand on his big shoulder and says “oh, dear lad! but i love you!” and adam’s just like :”0 and it’s in that moment that he realizes, For Sure, that he loves maurice too. his heart is fully unlocked, and love is found there. and in that moment, THE BOY STARTS GLOWING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

crazy wild and shocking. maurice stands and jumps back, scared that something BAD is happening!! but then adam transforms into his true self, and maurice is like WHOAGH!!! :D!!!!! and adam is smiling and maurice says “was that all i had to say?? you could’ve changed weeks ago!!” and adam just kind of laughs in disbelief and maurice goes up to him and hugs him tight and adam just melts into it. and of course before long, all the servants come running in as humans, SUPER confused and partially thinking adam and maurice were romantically in love after all 😭😭 but mrs. potts is like “no you FOOLS. they just love each other. like a father and son should.” and adam is so 🥺🥺🥺🥺 and maurice just nods in agreement, arm still around his dear boy 🥹

and of course that same day they go GET BELLE and maurice is like OH MY DEAR DO I HAVE THE GUY FOR YOU!!!!!!!🫵🫵🫵

the end :)

[msmargaretmurry]

friend, what do you do when you haven't written (fan)fiction in more years than you can say for sure, and you're bitten by a character arc for a story that keeps spiraling into more and more as you think about it? i am feeling VERY overwhelmed especially as it becomes more about that character arc than the original plot idea. i remember you saying that you thought HAW was going to be like 40k and obviously it ended up much longer - having gone through that process, what did you learn? is there any advice you'd give, especially to someone already nervous to start doing something for the first time?

hello pal! i'm sorry you're having an anxious time of it but i'm excited to hear that you're flexing your writing muscles, and i hope that i can offer some helpful reassurances here!

the short answer is: you just write it. you just do it!!! ultimately the two choices here are write it or don't write it, and not writing it is way less satifying. yes yes WAY easier said than done though, so onto the long answer. 💞

trying to write again when you haven't written in a while can definitely be nerve-wracking, so first of all, i want to say that it's totally fine to be nervous. very normal of you! obviously you want your story to live up to the idea in your head, so it can be really hard to shake the whole feeling of, oh no what if it doesn't? what if my grand foray back into writing is an EMBARRASSING FAILURE?? so i also want to say that it will not be, because there is no such thing as failing at creativity, and i forbid you from being embarassed of anything you create while learning. writing is a never-ending learning process. the best writers you have ever read are the ones who embrace learning something new every time they write. i would say this even if it hadn't been years since you last wrote, but especially since it's been years since you last wrote, but it is imperative to remember that you have to start somewhere. to quote the great sam reich, the only way to begin is by beginning.

my #1 tip for if you're working on a story and it feels like it wants to be long and you have a lot of thoughts and ideas and feelings about it is to WRITE EVERYTHING DOWN. don't make yourself try to remember it all. i use a note in my notes app for this, but you can use a physical notebook or a google doc or whatever works for you.

this isn't for writing the actual fic — you might end up with snippets of scenes in here but nothing more than a few lines. this is for literally anytime you think of something for your story, into the note it goes, as soon as possible, so you don't have to worry about remembering it. a fact you learn, a future story beat you want to hit, a line of dialogue you want to include in a future scene, a lyric that inspires you, a reminder to include a detail or reference. i also use mine to keep a list of subplots/running themes — things you don't want to fall off your own radar and wind up forgotten halfway through.

you don't need to check your note/document/whatever every time you write, but if you're an outliner you can use it to periodically update your outline, and besides that, occasionally referring back to it is great for a) sparking inspiration for where the story goes next, and b) reminding you to go back and be like, hm, how long has it been since i referenced [subplot]? maybe it's time for that to make another appearance!

i also ALSO use mine to keep a list of things i know i'm going to want to go back and edit for once i have a full draft. i don't know about you, but i am a CHRONIC edit-as-i-go-er and doing this has helped me so much with being able to take a deep breath, accept that something in the draft probably needs fixing, and know that i won't forget about it. i no longer have the HAW version of this note (because i delete things out of mine as i address them, so by the end of writing the story the note is empty 😂) but iirc it had things like — make sure it's clear that matthew is kind of a mama's boy, double-check the pacing/frequency of matthew's big intrusive thoughts, make sure we know where bowie is for scenes in leon's house.

regarding the story becoming more about the character arc than the original plot idea, try to let go of your expectations of what the story was supposed to be and instead try to approach it with a mindset of discovering what the story is going to be. this will give you a lot more freedom to let it grow and change without feeling like you're abandoning something. the reason HAW got so long is because, when i started, i had two big plot beats that i knew i wanted to get to (the first breathplay scene and the first kiss scene) and as i was writing, i kept thinking to myself, okay i need x y z and then i get to tackle that big plot beat. so i would write x y z only to discover that i still needed more development to make it feel earned. so i just wrote more development! this did mean letting go of the conception of the story's structure i had going in, when i thought it would be shorter, but it ultimately let the beats fall in the right places.

(obviously letting your story sprawl however it wants to isn't always the the best thing you can do for a piece of fiction. but in character-driven stories, in my opinion, it's vital to give the character the space they need. and if it sprawls too much, you can always edit it down later. you can learn stuff about your characters from scenes you wind up cutting or from versions of scenes that don't end up working just as much as from the scenes you nail.)

if you think it'll help with motivation, get yourself an alpha reader. enlist a friend that you trust to be what you need them to be in this role. for me, it's that i can trust when i send them the next 5–10k chunk of first draft that they will read it at their earliest convenience (not letting it sit for days), that they will be invested in following the story (i once had an alpha reader tell me that they had totally forgotten about a major story development in the week or so between one chunk and then next chunk, and it devastated me), and that they will understand that as i'm grinding out the first draft, i need enthusiasm and encouragement, and concrit ONLY if there's a major issue. concrit is the realm of my beta readers.

everyone's writing process is different, so if there's stuff here where you're like, ugh i hate that idea, feel free to ignore it! or modify it! just don't spend so much time tinkering with planning and research and playlists and outlines etc that you don't actually write. occasionally a good writing sesh CAN be 98% tinkering, but most of them should not be.

finally, let yourself enjoy the process. don't put pressure on yourself to finish it quickly so you can feed it to the internet for comments and kudos. comments and kudos are, of course, fantastic, and also it's fine to set yourself arbitrary goals/deadlines if that helps you (e.g. "writing"i'm going to write 3,000 words a week" or "i'm going to finish this section of story by the end of the month") but try not to get stressed if it's taking longer than expected to write, or it turns out you want to add more than expected to the story. it's worth it to have a story you're happy with.

sometimes writing can be really hard and frustrating, but that doesn't mean you're doing it badly. sometimes you need to talk an issue through with a friend. sometimes it takes a few tries to figure out how a scene should go. sometimes you need to let a plot problem rotate like a $2 hotdog on the gas station hotdog roller of your brain for a couple of days before the solution comes to you in a vision at the most inconvenient time possible. (jot it down in your notes app before you forget it.)

anyway. good luck and i believe in you ❤ you know where to find me if you need to complain about writing/talk through something/get a pep talk!

[summersmithlatinxgyatt]

GoTron Was Another Summer Best (another Summer yap session)

Let's start with one thing. I felt generous and tried to watch Rickdependence Spray. I turned it off after 10 seconds. In fact, I paused after I saw that horse breeder thing for longer than I watched the intro Tried watching the Thanksgiving episode which was, just fine. Although nothing Summer caught my eye. I did this to finish up Season 5 but it was not worth it

You know WHAT was worth it, though? And what a few of you guys recommended?

'GoTron Jerrysis Rickvangelion'

I now see why this was recommended to me, and by the way it means a lot that most of you guys want me to write about Summer :3

It's almost Summer's episode, focused on her dynamic with Rick too and how it can clash with Morty

(FYI the wiki doesn't have a gallery for this episode I literally will rely on Google for this shit)

Right from the start we see that Summer is basically Rick's right-hand man. I know many people have pointed out (and it's outright said) that Summer is enabling Rick's obsession, which is explained IN the episode and something I'll return to later. Part of this episode is not only her relationship with Rick but with herself. Morty sees this as some sort of sabotage when Rick goes with her opinion and sees Morty as sort of an enemy for not going with what he wanted

She not only LITERALLY becomes a right-hand to the GoTron itself but oversees these Rick meetings instead of just hanging out with the other Summers. I mentioned the fact that Summer holds family in such a high regard. Whether or not they did this because this was also a Goodfellas parody, any good parody utilizes its characters purposefully, so I think it still works. There's also several lines where Summer talks about keeping the family close, and considering the blog I wrote about Rickmancing the Stone that mentions her being the glue that keeps the family together...yeah. When I say she's consistent and has a clear arc, it's because I managed to break her down and see the same attributes pop up here explicitly

Rick congratulates Summer for being the one reason he's even doing this GoTron shit and calls her a queen (queef first tho). Considering Season 7 where he says Summer reminds him of Diane, every time he cherishes Summer it's very genuine and because of how special and important she is to him

I know that the plot was hinging on Morty pointing out Summer being a negative influence but I still understood what she was going for. If my points sound hollow, it's because from now on I don't want to sound like a broken record whenever I mention the words 'Family' and 'Summer'

Like I said I was not a fan of Naruto and the fact that this show says the phrase 'giant incest space baby' more than once, which no show should ever do. But when Summer talks about how lonely she feels, it felt fitting. Sure, it's a...gross incest baby, but Summer felt basic motherly instincts kick on. She also wanted him to escape from there because she knows about the literal feeling of being cooped up. Like...how often does Summer go out?

With whatever friends she has she usually just stays inside. I am writing this AS I'M COOPED UP INSIDE AS PER USUAL I'D KILL SOMEONE TO GO OUT. The point being that avoiding this is something she actively does. That's why she was surprised her mom didn't originally want to use the GoTron Ferrets and why she kept enabling Rick. It's not an agenda, she just wants to bond more and go out more

However, I want to know - does this contradict 'Big Trouble in Little Sanchez'? I bring this up because it's an episode where they're supposed to be bonding and Summer is rational enough to know Rick is being harmed, yet everyone hates her for it. Why didn't Summer stop enabling Rick if it meant he would've been obsessed further? In that episode, it quite literally was killing Rick. Here, different universe versions of the Smith family come together as if to emphasize the point further. The actual issues were ones that Summer weren't aware of, but I just bring this up because no, this doesn't contradict any earlier episodes. Plus, Summer is obviously changing

Also, Summer's speech was fucking amazing. She mentions how lonely she feels in her OWN FAMILY because she has no one and went with Naruto, which is also temporary. She'll take any chance to bond with anyone

To wrap this up - Summer's place in this episode IS the crux of the plot. The family is brought together in more ways than one, with the robots and alternate universes coming together. This also makes sense with Rick having Morty and Beth having Jerry 'naturally', so to speak. If these people have each other, who does Summer have?

Her family

And even if she doesn't have ONE person to always fall back on (as she tends to be around Rick AND Morty), she'll be the one that chooses to keep everyone together. What I said in 'Rickmancing the Stone' and the trilogy I analyzed was true, Summer is the glue that keeps the family together

oh also im gonna be making a blog on the voiceovarians and a theory on Night Summer so keep an eye out for that guys

Thanks for reading!! <3

[zenaidamacrouras1]

Reflecting on my writing process. I definitely qualify as a gardener vs. an architect.

Step 1: Write 5-75,000 words of vibes

Step 2: Start posting the fic. You have a lot of chapters, so that gives you time to finish it while you write the rest.

Step 3: Realize this probably has to have an ending ? or something? Feel violently jealous of people who plan out their fics in advance and like, outline what's going to happen in them? Is this real? Are people really doing this? Why can't you be them? Read other people's stories because maybe that will inspire you to finish yours, but it just fills you with inadequacy because everyone else's stuff is better than yours and why are you even trying again?

Step 4: Spend 1-6 weeks imagining a meteor striking the world you have written and killing everyone, so that's the ending, and that will be easy enough to write.

Step 5: Well, actually, then you could turn into like a post-apocalyptic survival thing, or maybe a character study on what happens when they are waiting for the meteor to hit, which would take like another 75,000 words of vibes to talk about and then you'd still have to write an ending. So scratch the idea about killing off everyone in the fic.

Step 6: Regret being born. Regret not being hit by a meteor. Painstakingly back-create an outline from your 20 chapters of meandering vibes to see if that makes an ending to the plot appear. It does not, just underscores how bad you are at plot, which you already knew, but look! Proof of your inadequacy. Cool. Google to see if any meteors are coming soon, in which case, why are you doing this to yourself? You might only have a few weeks to live.

Step 7: Force yourself to work on the story, but then you just do micro-managing edits like adding 900,000 commas that aren't needed and then add a bunch more vibes to the chapters you already wrote, so now it's worse and full of filler it didn't need and you have to delete all the garbage you just wrote. Why does this story exist? What's even the point? Of this story or like, literally anything? Go on tumblr to scroll mindlessly. Write a long, self-indulgent post about how hard writing is.

Step 8: Go into a fugue state fueled by panic and fear of disappointing the people who have been reading along with the fic because like an idiot you already started posting it even though you had no idea what the point of the fic was or how and why it would end. You hate the fic, but you hate the idea of letting the bastard fic WIN more than you hate the fic, so you are going to murder the stupid fic if it kills you. Ignore all responsibilities and have a panic attack because you forgot to eat breakfast lunch and dinner and you can't figure out why your body is shutting down and you are waste deep in garbage because you forgot to clean the house and the children were running feral and subsisting solely off Nutella while you were thinking about the STORY.

Step 9: Wait, it looks like the fic is actually finished, but you can't remember how you finished it so unfortunately the process isn't not able to be replicated.

Step 10: Finish posting fic. Feel immensely sad that it's over. Oh, how you loved writing it, the darling, darling thing. The grief, the loss, that you will no longer have this lovely story as a companion to your days.