#i literally haven't watched that show in years
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introducing... teenagedirtbag!matt and innocent!reader
use of y/n a couple times.
matt had always been one to ignore girls. not that he didn’t like them, but because he truly just didn’t want them. his “bad boy” persona really lures girls in, and he’s learned that over the years.
his bad rep started off when he was only a young boy, not paying attention in class, and snapping back at teachers which caused multiple suspensions, detentions, and even one expulsion.
him getting expelled from full circle high school in somerville really turned his family’s life around. his brothers, chris and nick, were the complete opposite of him, but because he got switched, they had to too.
you weren't a very social person, but you weren't super shy. you could go and ask someone a question if you were lost, but you couldn't tell someone what they did wrong, even if it hurts you.
that's what some people adored about you, that you're so innocent. so pure. that's what people base you off of, and build on it.
"oh yeah, angel? she's so nice!" the amount of times you have heard that about you. people even named you angel, which you weren't mad about, but no one really called you by your actual name anymore.
somerville high was a dreading place for you. toxic jocks, wannabe pick me girls who bully the quiet kids when no doubt, they're 10x smarter. who even cares about grades anymore? high school social pyramids are based on how much you sleep with people and if you take drugs, which automatically puts you at a "higher level."
unfortunately, you were right in the middle. you smoked a couple times, but it wasn't a big thing. and obviously, you haven't hooked up with anyone, not even holding hands.
it was like sexual experiences were resistant to you no matter how much you craved it. you were literally the face of the quote, "perverted bitch with an angelic face."
others have told you that you had a sort of, "angelic presence" about you. like you were this breath of fresh air everyone desperately craved for, and it came naturally to you.
you were in math class, sitting in the back of the class with your tight clothes that hugged your curves perfectly, with an airpod in. you still paid attention to whatever the teacher was talking about, but she was currently at her desk allowing you guys to have a little break, or so she calls it. a certain announcement makes you take your headphone out.
"next class we're having a new student come into our class by the name of matthew sturniolo. i expect you all to treat him with kindness and respect."
matthew sturniolo? that sounded super familiar.
you looked down at your phone, opening up instagram and searching through your followers.
@matthew.sturniolo
he followed you already. and you followed him back.
he had liked a couple of your posts and stories, but you guys have never talked. he was so fine, and he had this dark vibe about him that had you soaked.
you would never admit it, but your thighs clenched a couple times when looking at his pics. you can't be thinking like this. you turn off your phone, putting your airpod in, blasting your music, rubbing your eyes to get those thoughts out of head.
you didn't even know what "thoughts" they actually were. you've never watched porn or anything, or even actually touched yourself properly. you just knew that you had a growing ache in between your legs.
the next day came faster than you had thought. upon remembering that matt would be arriving, you dressed in one of your best outfits, that was simple but showed everything that needed to be shown, perfectly.
you had sat in your seat, feet tapping against the ground repeatedly as you fiddled your thumbs in your lap. you turned around everytime someone walked in, and finally he walked in.
he walked so calmly and you both made eye contact immediately to which you turned around and acted cool. or so you thought.
you hadn't seen, but matt smirked softly as he took a seat a couple rows up next to some guy named jack who you've talked to a couple times. they immediately spark up a conversation, probably having met earlier and already became friends.
class had started, and your teacher kept talking. you had forgot a vital rule in her class, assigned seats. "hello matthew, welcome to the class. i hope everyone treats you with kindness and you make your time here productive. unfortunately, we do have assigned seats, and i have you seated next to, y/n. she's in the back over there."
she points to you and you don't necessarily notice as you're looking down at your phone. "y/n." you look up to the sound of your name being called a bit sternly, and see your teacher and a couple pairs of eyes looking at you, and a certain matt who was grabbing his bag.
"yes?" "matthew is coming to sit next to you." your eyes widen a bit as you make eye contact with him again as he walks towards you, smirking at you softly. you nod to the teacher and pull your eyes away from matt, who's now sitting next to you.
"sup." he slumps down next to you, your knees hitting each other. "hi." you respond, no more than a whisper. he nods and goes on his phone, the both of your guys' knees still rested on each other.
"we follow each other on insta right?" he says as he pulls your profile up, a sudden wave of embarrassment flowing through you as he clicks through your highlight of yourself, lingering a bit too long on the few bikini pics or pajama pics.
"mhm." you hum. he chuckles softly, nodding again. "nice." he puts his phone away, and his eyes rake over your body. you pay no attention to it as you tap on your computer a couple times to start working on the assignment.
"wanna hangout later?" you almost thought you were dreaming. "w-what?" you look over at him, your eyes meeting. "hangout. later. i'll pick you up and we can jus' go to the park or somethin'. whatever you wanna do. not a date though. jus' wan' a pretty girl to show me her favorite spots."
he had a certain tone to his last words, "favorite spots" which gave you a hint of something else besides what he was saying, a hidden intent in his words. this caused a shiver through you before you nod. "um, yeah sure. here." you hand him your phone for him to put his number in, and he does, quickly texting himself before taking his phone out, texting you back and saving your contact.
"'ight. i'll pick you up later, yeah?" "yeah, sure."
@muwapsturniolo @lovergirl4gracieabrams @m4ttg1rl @lypsiiii @tyummyz @sturniqlo @emely9274 @shadowthesim @mattsobvimyfav @sturnl0ve @wastelandzella @fallininlust @chrisslut04 @angeliijay12-blog @sophand4n4 @vainilladollie @slutforchrissturniolo2 @ncm9696 @snoopychris @sofieeeeex @chr0mehrts @cockettechris @iloveduckssm @stvrnioloslvt @sturn777 comment to be added or removed.
#alexis talks#sturniolo triplets#matt sturniolo#chris sturniolo#sturniolo fanfic#=teenagedirtbag!matt#=innocent!reader#matt sturniolo x reader#matthew sturniolo#matt sturniolo fluff#matt stuniolo fanfic#christopher sturniolo#nicolas sturniolo#nick sturniolo#sturnslutz
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GIRLIE i have been reading 4th wing and holy hell, why havent we got an azriel x fourth wing yettt? like just imagine, that man is literally perfect for ANY book crossover, I would pay good money to see Az beat the frick out of jack (ew)
Our Worlds Collided
・゚: *✧・゚:* ✧・゚: *✧・゚:* ✧・゚: *✧・゚:* ✧・゚: *✧・゚:* ✧・゚: *
Pairing(s): Azriel x reader
Warning(s): Violence... I mean, read the ask. Lol.
Summary: Living in a different place than your boyfriend is hard, and the moments you can be together, you don't want to waste. But, being in school, there are still obligations and tasks you must complete -- even if it means spending time with your man in a less-than-ideal place.
SR’s Note: This ask was *chef's kiss*. I've been doing so much lately with smut + the Invisible String series (which is finished btw, go read it if you haven't yet) that I haven't really got to write a cute little short story in a while. I hope this is what you wanted -- I'm happy with how it turned out!
Tags: @mellowmusings @rcarbo1 @lilah-asteria @kitsunetori @velarisdusk (inbox me or comment if you'd like to be added!)
・゚: *✧・゚:* ✧・゚: *✧・゚:* ✧・゚: *✧・゚:* ✧・゚: *✧・゚:* ✧・゚: *
"I'm so glad you made it!"
You threw your arms around your boyfriend, his tall but strong frame engulfing you as he held you close. Grateful for the familiar scent of pine and mint, you inhaled deeply.
"You missed me that much?" The low timbre of his voice was like a caress against your very soul.
Nodding wordlessly, he pulled back, only a bit to look into your eyes. His shadows danced around him in a joyful parade, signaling his inner happiness he so rarely showed on the outside.
"I missed you too, Y/N." He leaned down, pressing a kiss against your lips and smiling when you tugged him close for more. He slid his rough hands along your waist, settling on your hips while his lips moved against yours.
The moment, one you'd been desperate for for weeks now, was harshly interrupted by the mid-afternoon bell, signaling the end of classes for the day. You pulled back, watching your boyfriend grimace at the sound.
"Don't tell me you've never heard a schoolbell before, Azriel," you chuckled. His ears perked up at the sound, and only when it finally ended did he resume his usual, unassuming posture.
"I'll have to get used to the sounds here again." He says. It was true -- where he was from, Prythian, sounds were much softer as the fae hearing had adapted that way. But, in Basgiath, for your kind; it was quite the opposite.
"Yes... and the dragons." You'd taken his hand, making way for your dorm as he sighed.
"Ahh, yes. Almost forgot about those."
・゚: *✧・゚:*
He truly could not have come to visit at a worse time; not to sound ungrateful, you loved seeing your boyfriend and all, but between all the training, challenges, and courses you were balancing -- well, there were many hours of the day that you had to leave him to attend those duties.
But, you couldn't complain. Spending every evening, curled up with Azriel, your back to his chest as you got the best sleep of your life? You were counting down the days to graduation.
"So... a first year... that's when we met," Azriel says slowly, flipping through one of your library books. He'd chosen Basgiath's War College History, and was all the more quizzical.
"Yes," you confirmed. "That was when I took Ramir to... well, Prythian." You shrugged. "Accidental, of course, but, look what it got me."
He glanced up, chuckling as you threw him a wink. It was an unusually rainy Friday, and though you'd rather be exploring the town with Azriel, Emetterio had other plans.
"But, how were you even able to leave the college with your dragon?" He asks, frowning at the next. You wrap a few more strands of your braid, reflecting on the distant memory.
"Oh, I got in trouble all right." General Sorrengail had been furious with you upon your return, having clearly stated that dragon riding was for Basgiath-grounds only. "But, like I said -- at least I met you."
He doesn't look up this time, flipping the page and reading more of the text intently.
"So, now that you're a third-year," he starts, his attention only faltering for a moment when you sit down on the mattress beside him. "You can go anywhere you want?"
You nod in confirmation. "Yup. That's right -- Ramir doesn't particularly like long-distance flying, but he does just fine going to Prythian and back."
Azriel looks sidelong at you, and in the dim afternoon light, you can count every freckle on his face. His hazel eyes gaze at you, flickering between your eyes and lips. You lean in, pressing a quick kiss to his lips as his hands slide along your upper thigh.
Your alarm buzzes from your phone, causing Azriel to pull back and cover his ears with his palms. You scramble to turn it off, leaning across your boyfriend to reach the night stand in the process.
"Sorry! I'm sorry," you apologize. Your movement to sit back down is halted; his large hands pulling you to straddle him.
He smirks at you, appreciating your cute giggle as you sit on his lap. His hands run up and down the sides of your waist, and in an instant his lips are on yours again.
"Hmm, quite handsy today, are we?" You mumble, eliciting a chuckle from him against your mouth. He enforces his feelings as his left hand lightly pats your behind, and you squeak.
"I wonder why you've got all this on, anyway?" He mutters suggestively. You peer down at him with a scolding expression.
"Though I'd love to have it all off," you punctuate. "I have to be in the training room in 10 minutes." His smile falters a bit, and you realize too late that you slipped up.
"Training room? For what?"
Realization hits you, and you hastily hop off his lap to grab your phone and boots.
"Uh, we have, umm..." You fumble, quickly yanking your boots on and tying the laces. "Training. Tonight."
He looks at you, unimpressed. "Really. Training, at 5 in the afternoon? On a Friday?" He raises an eyebrow.
You huff, standing as you adjust your leathers. "Y-yes."
He continues his blank stare, clearly not buying it.
"Don't worry, I won't be long -- I promise, I'll be quick." You reach for the doorhandle, making up for the time you you'd spent on your boyfriend's lap.
"And, safe." He calls, just as the door shuts.
As you jogged through the corridors, you felt anything but safe. Azriel hated when you got hurt, and of course, before the long weekend, Professor Emetterio was holding challenges. It made sense to choose tonight so injured riders could rest up before classes resumed Tuesday -- but given your situation, it really, really sucked.
Especially because of who had chellanged you; none other than Jack Barlowe.
・゚: *✧・゚:*
"Girl, you're lucky Emetterio is running behind," Violet says, shaking her head as you finally make it to the training ring. Rhiannon places a light hand on your shoulder, making sure you're okay, but you only nod to her in thanks.
"I.... I lost, track... of time," you say between pants. Rhiannon nods in sympathy, but your silver-haired friend only smirks.
"Mhm, I'm sure you did. Too caught up with the Shadowsinger?" She teases. Rhiannon gasps.
"I didn't know Azriel was in town!" She beams. You roll your eyes at Violet.
"Oh, like you've never been late before," you grin wickedly. "Too busy playing with shadows, and such." Rhiannon claps a hand over her mouth, giggling at the insinuation.
Violet can't help but laugh too. "Oh please -- we know you love your boyfriends little playmates just as much."
Just then, the training room door swings open as Professor Emetterio walks through. He walks straight to the center of the room, clipboard in hand.
"Students!" He bellows, and the entire room hushes. "I have the list here of challenges for this evening -- now, I want to remind you all, the goal of these scheduled fights is not to kill, but rather build your own strength as a rider against an opponent."
Your eyes flicker to that familiar head of blonde hair across the room. Bile rises in your throat as he snickers, whispering something to his friends before meeting you with a menacing stare.
You look away.
"...we'll try to make this quick, as I do understand it is a long weekend and most of you have plans." He clears his throat, adjusting his glasses on his nose and squinting down at the first names.
"Ridoc and Merlin -- please step onto the training mat!"
Everyone clears off the mat, instead lining the outer edges to get a view of the impending battle before them. You stay close to your friends, your attention interrupted by Violet's voice in your ear.
"We've always kind of had the same type, haven't we?"
Rhiannon giggles again from her other side, and you loose a breath you hadn't realized you were holding.
"We do not -- for example, I would've never dated a guy like Dain." You quip. Violet groans, stratching her forehead.
"Okay, that was definately one mistake," she says. Rhiannon glances between the two of you, counting the similarities on one hand.
"Hmm, tall, tan, brooding shadow masters? Yeah, I'd say your type is the same." You blush, thinking of the handsome male waiting for you in your dorm room.
Violet chimes in. "Don't forget about the tattoos."
Rhiannon nods, holding up another finger. "Right, right -- definitely can't forget the tattoos."
・゚: *✧・゚:*
Three more pairs are called after the first fight, and you're so caught up in conversation with your friends that you almost miss your name being called.
"Y/N and Jack -- please take the mat!"
Violet looks to you in horror, as Rhiannon gasps.
"Y/N! Why didn't you tell me you had to fight-"
"It wouldn't have changed anything." You glare ahead, watching Jack's pompous, blonde head part through the crowd of onlookers.
It was true, your friends couldn't have done anything to change the fact that Jack had challenged you. In a twisted way, you kind of wanted the opportunity to punch him in the face -- but, the niggling fear of him punishing you to the near brink of death had you mostly thinking otherwise.
Taking the mat, you watched as Jack sized you up, smirking and rolling his lip between his teeth before taking his beginning stance. You mirrored him, fists raised, though they shook.
"Begin."
Jack wastes no time, slowly stepping around the ring as he continues to look at you menacingly. You move in opposition, trying to keep as much distance as you can.
"Awww," he coos mockingly. "Not so tough now that were in the training ring, are we?" He smirks.
You glare at him. "I've always been tougher than you, Jack."
He chuckles, lunging forward and clicking his teeth together in front of your face. You step back, your boot stepping onto the cold concrete floor outside the training ring. Emettario clears his throat, before breathing out a sigh.
"Y/N, please. Step back onto the mat."
You take a half step onto the mat, it's surface not much more forgiving than the concrete it sat on. Jack snickers, backing up to allow you an inch of room.
"Y'look scared to me, Y/N." He moves, slow and stealthy. "Almost as scared as Baide when I-"
"Shut the Hell up." You grit out, glaring hard at him. Reflecting back to the moment that caused all this to begin with, your blood boils. Finding Jack out late that night last week, all of those weapons, how he had mistreated his own dragon-
"Ooooh, hot are we?" He sneers, ignoring the fearful faces of your friends standing just outside the ring behind him. "That's the difference between dragons and us -- they are easier to control."
Rage bubbles over the surface, your own words drifting into the back of your mind. They're no different than we are, you'd tried to convince him that night. They deserve our respect.
You lunge at him, respect be damned for the asshole before you. Adrenaline pumps through your veins at the silent victory; your fist had hit him exactly where you wanted it to. He staggers back, clutching his face with one hand as he gasps, his other hand raised before him.
"Fuck, you!" He growls, making to grab you but you're too fast. You snake to his side, kicking your boot against his stomach. He doubles over, falling to his knees in pain.
The memory of Violet in this position from your first year sends you reeling, remembering the horror of watching your best friend beaten and bruised so badly that Xaden had to come finish her challenge for her.
You grap him around the neck, flexing your arm at a 45 degree angle in an attempt to put him in a headlock. He'd never hurt anyone again; not you, not your friends, not any dragon, whether it be someone else's or his own-
His hands grip your arm, pulling you over his back and slamming you straight onto your back before him. You let out a cough as the wind was knocked out of you, your vision blurring as you tried to refocus on the ceiling above you.
"Shouldn't have fucked with me, Y/N!" He shouts, scrambling to his feet, only to land a harsh kick to your ribcage. You cried out in pain, grabbing your side as you felt his boot shoving against your ribs, and fingers, again.
"I do what I want with my dragon," he grunts, ramming his shoe into your side over and over again. Pain explodes across your body, your fingers cracking beneath his repeated blows.
Black spots begin to fill your vision, the overhead lights blinking out as the last sounds feel your ears. You're blacking out. You're surely blacking out.
You try again to rise, weakly as your arms shake beneath you. It's no use -- his foot connects with your hipbone, sending you right back to the floor. The shouts of your friends, Emetterio's calling, the world around you; it all begins winking out.
Curled onto your side, you heave one last final breath, waiting for the final hit to send you into darkness.
But, it never comes.
You crane your neck, confused as the shouting around you grows louder. Wincing in pain, you make it onto your back, only having to turn your head to watch as the horrific scene unfolds from the other side of the mat.
Tall and terrifying, you watch those familiar scarred hands throw the blonde to the ground, his body literally bouncing in recoil at the impact. Large, tanned muscles yank Jack back up; only to twist his arms behind his back, the angle unnatural.
Your enemy cries out, writing in pain as the wispy black shadows hurl punches of their own at the bastard. Dark, large wings flare behind the male; the talons enough to send anyone away screaming.
"Please... you don't have to do this, I-"
Azriel punches him clean in the jaw, Jack's head jerking as he falls limply to the ground. The growing crowd around the mat erupts, their screams so loud it felt deafening.
You now understood why Azriel hated the sounds here so much.
The black dots clouding your vision increase, your heart rate slowing before you finally black out -- the last thing you see are his familiar leather boots stalking toward you.
・゚: *✧・゚:*
"She's going to be just fine."
The light from the overhead bulbs is blinding as you squint your eyes open, muffled voices and beeps becoming more distinguishable. You blink a few times before everything comes into clear view -- the white operating bed, the heart rate monitor beside you...
...the brooding, winged male in the chair across from you.
"I... what..." you look side to side, taking in the mender watching over you. He begins to grab his things, preparing to leave.
"Your challenge with Mr. Barlowe left you with a few... injuries," he settles on the word lightly. You don't miss his quick glance to Azriel before he continues. "But, not as many as he recieved himself."
You swear there is a hint of a smile behind his words.
"I'll leave you two for a moment."
No sooner than the door shuts behind him, Azriel is on his feet and approaching your bedside, opting to sit next to you on it as he looks down at you. Concern etches his features, underneath the unassuming mask he puts on; then, the memories of what happened start coming back to you.
"Why would you step in like that?" You say angrily, and Azriel huffs.
"Seriously, Y/N? Why would I step in?" He raises his eyebrows. "Maybe because I wasn't comfortable watching the shit get beat out of my girlfriend, that's why." He takes your wrapped hand in his, though his brows still knit on his forehead. "Why didn't you tell me about the fight beforehand?"
You relax your features a little, your heart softening as he rubs small circles against the back of your palm with his thumb. "I didn't think you'd particularly like it, or understand-"
"You're damn right I don't like it." He says, giving your hand a small squeeze. "What would have happened had I not been there?"
His hazel eyes stare right into yours, and you bite your bottom lip. Truly, what would have happened?
"I-I don't know, I guess, Emetterio would have-"
"He wasn't doing shit, Y/N." He sighs, leaning on his elbow to cocoon you in an embrace. He presses a soft kiss to the side of your neck, and you find yourself relaxing a bit more against his warmth.
"I don't like that you have to go through these things." He says after a moment of silence. His voice is softer now, his hand lightly running along your bandaged side. "I don't like to see you hurt-"
"I have to do this though, Az. It's part of training." You turn to face him, wincing in pain as the fresh bandages do little to ease you. "And, I'm much tougher than you think."
A ghost of a smile graces his lips, his rough fingers reaching out to brush a piece of hair out of your eyes.
"I know you are. I just... I don't want anything to happen to you. I love you too much for that."
Your heart practically bursts out of your chest at the sentiment, and in that moment, you snuggle closer to his chest.
"Good thing I have a big, strong male that I love to protect me then."
#a court of thorns and roses#acotar#acosf#a court of silver flames#a court of frost and starlight#acofas#azriel smut#azriel#azriel fanfic#azriel shadowsinger#azriel acotar#azriel spymaster#acowar#a court of mist and fury#a court of wings and ruin#read more
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every single time i'm reading anything about him, fan fiction or not, and someone describes him as lazy, i can't help but blurt out loud to myself, "he's not lazy" and sort of roll my eyes. It's in his character bio in the game for crying out loud: he doesn't see the point in trying anymore because every time he has ever tried in his life, he has been shot down and shown that nothing he does will ever matter.
self-indulgent elaboration under the cut
also, i would argue that it's about as clear as can be that he is "rude" on purpose to push people away...because he knows he was born in a silver spoon in his mouth and thinks he doesn't deserve people being nice to him. of COURSE he is snarky and snappy when he gets the chance, he WANTS people to stay away from him. He does NOT, however, want them to talk behind his back, i dont think. We know it hurts him. He doesn't want them to whisper that he's dangerous and he could probably kill everyone within a 50 foot radius with his UM at a moment's notice. Which is true. I think he's afraid of that possibility (and I believe in the novel it's described as being a volatile spell that other second princes have been effectively cursed with, and that he could accidentally kill people around him. That's why he grew up overhearing the palace servants whispering about the spell as if it was already a known UM.)
I know we don't know how he got his scar yet, other than it being something he clearly doesn't want to remember, but I can't help but wonder how he first "got" his UM. It isn't one he developed like Azul did, for example. He was born with that being the UM he would one day manifest. I definitely have ideas about how he got his scar and how it could relate to the advent of a Unique Magic like his, but I DO NOT think he killed or seriously hurt someone. I think the King's Roar spell has been popping up in previous generations of the Sunset Savanah royal family in second-born sons, and the people know it can lay waste to everything around the user. Even the things the user didn't touch or mean to affect start to turn to sand, like the air. Idk i just think his magic hasn't killed someone but I think he and everyone around him knows it could. From past experience, if you will. So maybe he showed signs of it being his UM and people FREAKED out as if he killed someone. That can be really damaging for a kid.
With this in mind, how could it be any clearer that he is trying to push people away? Now, allow me to be a blatant Leona Kisser on main (joke intended, that's my sideblog @leona-kingscholar-kisser LOL), but....HE'S NOT EVEN DOING THAT GOOD OF A JOB OF PUSHING PEOPLE AWAY. BECAUSE HE ISN'T A NATURAL AT IT!!!!! 😭😭😭😭 I'm not saying he craves connection, yet, because i haven't seen his part in book 7, but he definitely is not just meanspirited. He doesn't enjoy pushing people away, he feels that he has no choice in order to not hurt others. Isn't that the most selfless thing of all?
Knowing how he was treated as a child during his formative years, I'd say every glimpse of kindness and generosity and selflessness and passion for life he shows is indicative of someone who is all of those things even more so than it would be for someone who had no adverse childhood experiences. To me, the fact that he is all these things even in the face of the agony he must feel looking in the mirror every day means he is an even better person than someone who only does the right thing to earn praise and be celebrated. Character is doing the right thing even when no one is watching and all that.
I literally could write 50 paragraphs about him with MLA citations, but here is what i mainly wished to impress upon the part of twstblr whom i think are a wee bit confused about his characterization:
examples of Leona not being a massive sack of shit:
he pretends not to notice when Ruggie steals jewelry from him just about daily, but he doesn't outright give it to him because that would be too philanthropic for his image. He lets Ruggie think he's getting away with it. He doesn't want a "thank you" because he thinks he doesn't deserve it
he lets Ruggie bring his own laundry to be washed together with Leona's, while giving him his credit card to buy the nicest detergent and anything else he might want to buy at the Mystery Shop
the reason he doesn't wear his uniform jacket isn't because he just wants to break the dress code or make a statement, it's probably because he gave it to Ruggie. Hence why Ruggie's jacket is massive on him.
he skips his classes because he already knows everything they're teaching. he always shows up for tests, meaning he does keep track of when they are.
- personal note: he had all the NRC-level material drilled into him from a younger age than most as a prince. That level of focus on academics takes away time in your youth that you feel like your peers are spending having fun and having social lives. If i were him, going to classes where everyone around him got to learn something for the first time that he had been forced to memorize years ago would be really hard. It might be a reminder of how he had to grow up too soon. I personally relate a lot to being faced with the reality that every other student in your class didn't have the same amount of academic pressure put on them that you did and wanting to just curl up and cry at your desk. Being in classes where you already know everything or where other kids clearly have a lot less pressure on them can make you feel even more alone and hopeless and unloved than you already felt. it makes you grieve all the weeks and years of feeling like a workhorse instead of a child that you'll never get back. So i guess in that way I'm biased towards him and I completely support him skipping class :'3
he only got held back because of missed attendance. here are two important notes about that, in my opinion:
- firstly, he obviously doesn't want to go home. he also feels unenthusiastic about the 4th year internships even though he's going to take one in his home country and hopes to make some positive changes using his ideas. Still, he knows it will not come with the recognition and appreciation from his family he wants. Even if his ideas for oil mining fracking 🤮 bring great economic growth and can feed the children starving like Ruggie was, I doubt his older brother would see Leona for what he is or praise him as things stand now. hopefully that will come later in the story
- secondly, he wants to be held back and stay at NRC another year so his dorm can win the Spelldrive tournament against Diasomnia. He literally says that's the reason he is so desperate to for HIS TEAM (not him) to win that he puts himself in the position to be the bad guy and make the hard decisions he thinks he has to in Book 2! With the actual Spelldrive team, it's slightly different because Malleus isn't involved. It's interesting. In his Spelldrive Uniform home screen dialogues, he says winning is more important than doing your best... because he thinks his team wouldn't be happy with coming in second even knowing they did their best. I think he is blinded by self-hatred. I don't think what he seems to think is actually true. I think Epel and Jack and Ace and all the Savanaclaw members who bawled their eyes out when they thought he was turned into a Tsum are just happy to receive guidance from him. That makes him different from Azul or Kalim or Idia as housewardens, for example. They literally cry lollll. He knows all his Spelldrive players and they literally never shut the fuck up about how good of a coach he is and how attentive he is to their strengths and weaknesses. He doesn't even try to change them! He doesn't insult or belittle Epel when he wants to train to aim better, he literally just compliments how he is a great player in other ways and tells him not to change a thing. For no reason, bitch. He's such a fucking softie.
he buys us a drink in one of his chats, saying he "knows how to reward good service 😒". oh come on bro you're not fooling anyone, you probably weren't even thirsty anyway
he only went to Playful Land to keep an eye on the underclassmen because he's always like that. smfh
finally, if you pay close attention, he's really only rude to people who disrespect him first. OR to people who try to drag him into annoying shenanigans he doesn't want to be involved with. if someone did all that to me during a depressive episode i'd bite their head off, too -- which is every day because i have major clinical treatment-resistant depression and i feel like i know how he feels. i get where he's coming from :( and then they all STILL call him lazy. that is so fucking mean and hurtful. he is doing what he can. he's just sick. he is enough.
okay that's all i can think of right now i just really wanted to elaborate because AHHHHHHH. AAUUGHHHHH. EEEEEUEUUUUUUUUUUAUAG HE IS NOT LAZY AND HES NOT A DICK HE JUST HATES HIMSELF AND NONE OF IT IS HIS FAULT
and while i'm on the subject, Leona is actually NOT lazy or arrogant or selfish at all but some of yall are not ready for that conversation lol
#sorry i just had a very similar childhood to him and it affected me in a similar way especially in high school#i was told i was all these negative things by my abuser who felt guilty for abusing me as a child and it me feel like i was those things#so i began trying to make it true jsut in a desperate attempt to understand why they hated me#it's not an uncommon phenomenon unfortunately#just another form of self sabotage because you don't think you deserve to be loved or liked because of something someone else did#i think a lot of people can relate to him in that way#because a lot of parents will be like GRRR WHY ARE YOU LIKE THIS to their children#meanwhile the child in question is just growing up#like my sister in christ that is called adolescence#but yeah definitely a lot of people grow up with that self hatred ingrained in them#and it has been observed in therapeutic settings that children will often seek to make those insults true#he was told he scares people around him just by existing#and sometimes the hardest thing of all is to cope with the fact that you as a child have done nothing wrong but some adults will just hate u#if he was faced with having to accept that he DIDNT actually deserve to be scorned or draw 4 cards#best believe he's drawing 4 cards baby#UNO reference on the fanfic blog#i have to wake up for a doctors appointment in like 4 hours#life is cruel don't they know i just want to sleep away every day of my life and never face the world#Leona and I BOTH be like...I've seen enough#naps are life#🧸.txt#twisted wonderland#leona kingscholar#character analysis#YAPPING#twst
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I swear I think I get sad about Adventures in Odyssey at least every other week.
#i literally haven't watched that show in years#(i did get 2 books for christmas a few years ago)#but#that show was a big part of my childhood#and now#i just cannot support anything they do
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can we take a moment and ask what happened here? like what did they do to her??
oh.
#THE FINGERS THE FINGERS#AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAUH#cuphead#suddenly very salty after looking up the dev history of this show#i haven't watched it btw i had no idea what the animation was actually like#i squinted at it for so long and realized it isn't hand drawn and my heart sunk like a stone#like i had literally assumed it was hand drawn but idk why i thought so#it so clearly isn't#says a lot that three seasons of this show were shat out in ONE YEAR#i think i would defend cuphead the video game tooth and nail to the death#because of it's dedication to hand drawn animation#which i'm unreasonably passionate about#and idk#seeing the dlc for the first time is like... WOW.#looked up ms chalice to get a funny gif and here i am#i saw those shots side by side and screamed z;slkdjf;lasdkj
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Noo why do I wanna rewrite Steven Universe noooooo
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i don't think i'll ever get over how people treat kids that aren't good in school as worthless no matter what. "oh it can't be that bad" my guy idk how to tell you this but the last time i went to a normal high school the principal called me into his office to brag about how he failed me in all of my classes before the semester was even finished & i should quit while i'm ahead cuz i'm too stupid ("officially" diagnosed as such by a school counselor & a psychiatrist!!) to succeed. & this is considered normal
#''poor teachers!!'' yeah well at least they can fucking quit & go work somewhere else#''okay but times are different than when you went to school in the 1970's'' this was 2016 my guy. shut the fuck up#''well maybe you were a violent & severely misbehaving kid!'' i wasn't. i have ADHD & severe anxiety disorder & depression#my biggest crime was being too exhausted & dopamine deprived to do my homework#my dad talks about how he was treated in school & i'm like damn dude i went through the same exact shit#how is it that a majority of teachers & principals are still abusive power-tripping pieces of shit 60 years later#why haven't things changed#well actually the answer is simple & it's because they want disabled people to disappear#& if abled students that simply disagree with the way things are done get caught in the crossfire then that is acceptable#because anyone not fit to make billionaires a billion more dollars should just die!#anyways here are my original tags from that gravity falls post i just reblogged:#I know this is supposed to be an appreciation post but like. ''for being the ''dumb one'' he's surprisingly rational.'' seriously??#as ''the dumb'' but ''surprisingly rational'' one of my family this is THEE biggest misunderstanding & it drives me up the fucking wall#just because a person struggles in one area doesn't mean they're stupid & should be an irrational dumb dumb idiot baby holy fuckkk#sorry to OP but even when people try to ''appreciate'' stuff like this they can't help but throw in insults#simply because they genuinely believe that ''even though you're stupid you SURPRISINGLY act competent sometimes'' is a compliment#I'm less mad about this & more sad that this kind of shit is still so prevalent in 2024#both Stanley & Stanford are smart & competent & rational#they just show it in different ways & exceed in different (sometimes overlapping) subjects#this is normal for human beings but the big societal scam is that if you don't do it in the way Ford does then you're stupid & a failure#& being surprised that Stan is also smart & competent in his own ways is the biggest sing that you fucking fell for it dude#btw before i get @ ed for this. i WAS that kid#i was so much that kid the school actually diagnosed me with stupid & spiteful & i was told to quit while i was ahead (they failed me befor#obviously this is very personal for me but also i don't think people realize the language they use is on purpose & it's used specifically t#& it's still happening right now & that just. makes me wanna cry honestly#like why are people still surprised that people can specialize in something despite bad grades in school#you know. the thing we all know is literally rigged to either put you in jail or in a factory to make billionaires more money.#man sorry for the rant the original spirit of the post is super correct but like fuck HS grade-centric judging of people's entire character#Stan being able to defeat Bill is just not at all surprising if you were him or knew/know someone like him#or really paid any attention at all to the show while watching it
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i found this really old comic i made and never posted here?? there is a superb dearth of context i am aware but (chucks this in your general direction anyway)
(this was from an au based off a weird dream i had a while ago ??? it was like. they were normal human kids but they somehow got into this strange video game slash simulation or smth which SOUNDS like sburb but it was way different trust me. i wrote a ton abt it for months and then never thought about it again. n e ways.)
#homestuck#homestuck fanart#terezi pyrope#karkat vantas#kanaya maryam#tavros nitram#hs#i Guess#in hindsight these designs still freaking RULE#i was super super proud of this when i made it (almost a year ago now?? whoa) but so nervous to show anyone hjfsh#i shared it in a discord server with some of my friends and i was literally shaking + in tears etc etc. so i never posted it here kekw#ive gotten better with that stuff now tho !! i rlly want to share some of my new & old au ideas i was too scared to before because ive been#-looking back on some of the old ones and writing some new ones and they're kind of awesome#also i used to have suuuuch fun drawing these guys i should totally get back into doing that. i haven't drawn a homestuck troll in (checks-#-the tiny watch i wear on my wrist at all times) approximately 827462 days. hm. interesting#anyways :3 i don;t know if anyone will care abt this now but that's ok w me#aurie's art
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Why do ppl get so mad when you tell them you're boycotting something?
I s2g anime fans I've talked to have thrown literal tantrums when I tell them that I've seen a lot of anime but haven't watched anything new because my spouse and I are participating in the Japanese boycott
#literally I'm just showing solidarity with my spouse??#i ain't saying y'all gotta join the boycott ffs#nor am i saying I'm judging ppl for still watching anime#just my family is personally boycotting Japanese media#i still watch old anime I've seen before but i haven't consumed anything new in years#not since bleach ended tbh
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i'm honestly kinda stuck on this whole "biphobia" thing cause like...is that even really a strong trope on tv nowadays?? it was in the past for sure (see glee ironically enough lol) especially with women but I feel like the bigger thing these days is bisexual characters just being subsumed into a 'gay' identity or their bisexuality being mentioned in passing but never explored
#who are the bisexuals on tv these days#one of the heartstopper boys#i'm not a heartstopper fan but i do like how they had him be like “I'm BI”#lestat which does fall into this i think? but iwtv is the Toxic Relationships Hell Yes Show so... (i haven't watched it yet)#okay in attempting to google this i discovered doctor who implied a relationship between clara and JANE AUSTEN?? beautiful stuff#we had rosa diaz and pan rep on schitt's creek#anyway they just want a Moral reason to be mad about this#you can just be sad about your ship!! it's okay!!#go write fix it fics!!#911 spoilers#i guess#also the negative part of the trope goes beyond just sleeping around#it's moreso cheating (which the audience will generally view negatively)#or characters in the show telling the audience they should view it negatively#and buck was already a cheater!#anyway these things are nuanced#iwtv is one of the most groundbreaking pieces of queer rep we've seen in years and the queer characters are literal monsters#with the landscape of tv these days my fundamental view is that the best rep is more rep#which is so beautiful! we have so much more than we used to it doesn't all have to be perfect and Saying Something#anyway i will shut up now
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...
#unwrapped a present like Ooh there's gotta be dvds or blu-rays in here :o#and I was right.#HOWEVER.#it was Disneys The Jungle Book (I have literally never mentioned this movie ever and I haven't watched a Disney movie in years)#i did however ask for a (specific) Disney movie once! ~8 years ago.#and then I saw the Star Trek logo and was like FUCK YEAH so they do pay attention!!#it was the Picard box set 😭 literally the only star trek show i don't like. come on.#doddie redet#I love sounding ungrateful online <3#I did however also get socks (ok) and pillows (fuck yeah)#AND my brother got me a random horror movie and a random sci-fi movie. yay yippiii!#he doesn't even live here and we never talk to each other‚ yet he's better at choosing presents for me lol
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If anyone relates to this even just a little bit, then I'm so sorry.
#• luna lavinchi speaking •#living with cptsd#cptsd vent#complex ptsd#diet culture trauma#monsters inside me#toxic health culture#ex vegitarian/vegan#emotional flashbacks#health documentaries#dark side of veganism#i should have never been forced to watch these as a child..my mind wasn't ready to understand the information nor tell what was real or not#-i cant try sushi or even think about fish without feeling physically sick and dizzy. i haven't had McDonald's since i was like 6ish years-#-old..i never wanted to share this information but i need to vent. I feel embarrassed and rude for not liking a food chain that most of the#-population does. Smelling or seeing McDonald's makes me wanna puke so bad because of everything those documentaries would say.#I will never be able to eat McDonald's in my life because of how sick and terrified i feel when thinking about the food even the drinks-#-scare the shit out of me. I'm so pissed that I'm triggered. All of the sudden i smell something in the house that smells like McDonald's-#-then the memories come flooding back and i feel like puking so back so i cant even eat dinner. i know this may seem stupid but i am-#-genuinly scared. Im tired of this shit and tired of feeling alone in this.#(anyway sorry. if you read my vent then i appreciate you)#tw food talk#tw diet culture#tw vent in tags#(dont even get me started on parasites cause thats a whole fucking trauma itself. damn it i hate it all. i hate it so much)#(also note: my therapist made me feel so validated weeks ago when i told her during my session that i was traumatized by monsters inside me-#-she literally knew the name of the show before i could even say its name. and she said she also cant watch it and that she saw it as an-#-adult who doesn't have ocd. so she told me she can't even imagine how terrified i was to watch it as a child who was developing ocd.-#-therapist W)
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the devastating downside of slowly regaining my old tns obsession is I now constantly have tns songs stuck in my head and I cannot listen to any song without imagining a dance to it
this is an illness
#it is frightening how easily grasped i am#by shows with music dancing and cliffhangers at the end of every episode#the temptation to rewatch the whole show is so real ngl#i was just gonna watch s9 since i haven't seen it yet#but mannnn after watching compilations of dances#she's coming back the obsession is returning help#i haven't watched the whole thing in so long#like literal years#the next step
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i finally watched good omens and am now a little bit obsessed with it holy shit
#no ok because ive been putting off watching it for SO LONG and i'm????#hold on. supernatural....good omens....do i have a type#i've had the book sitting around but haven't gotten around to reading it yet. but now i'm thinking i should#no ok but y'all were right this show is really good holy shit#wait lmao my type in shows is literally just 'holy shit'#sorry. bad joke#august rambles#i'm using the time that i should absolutely be using for studying to read and watch random things that i've been putting off for years#so uh. drop suggestions i guess?
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talking to new people again is making me realize that (this is gonna sound dramatic) i haven't lived in five years but what i have done is watch a lot of movies and read a bunch of books and believe it or not that actually makes me an interesting conversationalist in some ways (?)
#and like i say: brf slt#they don't know i'm crazy and as long as you're normal about it having seen a lot of movies just makes you come off as someone who's like#interested in culture i guess. which i am. but it's fun#and the books thing too and also knowing a lot about sociology#i have things to say jokes to make so in two months they haven't even realized i haven't lived a life yet🙏#i didn't even do it on purpose the way it happened is in 2019 i was very depressed suicidal etc then i got better but i was focused on#like...idk. basically getting used to being okay with being alive again? then it was 2020 and we didn't have classes in person full time#until september 2021. that's how it was for university students here. i did hang out with people but no one i LOVED or actually became#close with and it's true that i could have tried harder but i didn't because guys i love being by myself😭😭😭#then three years went by and now we're here. it's fine it's just that i don't have a lot of anecdotes that aren't old because LITERALLY#nothing has happened to me. nothing#that's not true i did talk about something semi-recent to my bff on friday it was about my 'friends' who hated on everyone the same way i#did when i was literally 12 and about how anxiety inducing it was because after a while i was like is this how they talk about me when i'm#not around🤨 i actually talked about that then. january or february 2023#this has been in my drafts for a week and i talked about the post i talk about in that last tag last week when i talked about my mutual who#blocked me that's the post she replied to to give me advice😔#also it's funny i said they don't know i'm crazy and a guy asked me what my favorite tv shows were and i don't know why i actually gave him#my full list like it's funny because like i said they think i like like good movies and good television and interesting books and stuff#and i know the shows i told him made him reassess that (which is fine but it's just funny) and also i told him i'm watching gilmore girls#for the 18th time and he was like you're joking i was like hm...and then he was like no you're being serious because it's way too#precise...and THAT i could have not told him. i was like whyyy did i tell him that...but it's fine#HE HADN'T EVEN HEARD OF SUCCESSION? 34-year-olds...#i mentioned the sopranos a couple weeks ago and my future bff was like what is that and i was like ? then i asked two more people and they#didn't know the show either so i was like i'll ask him (34-year-old) i know he'll know the sopranos and he was like OBVIOUSLY i know#the sopranos it's supposed to be one of the best shows of all time and later i asked if he had seen succession and he'd never even heard of#it? crazy. i mean if it had been anyone else i wouldn't have thought it was crazy but i expected HIM to know succession
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racism isn't funny when it's against actual social minorities but i'm sorry, very little will ever be funnier to me than people being racist against white people. i swear, every time i hear someone get called a cracker or a honky a few years get added to my life. this goes doubly so against white people who are Weird about "not really being white", like i'm sorry italians but you've been considered white for about as long as you've been the inventors of fascism, i'm gonna make fun of your pasty pizza pasta asses until the day i die
#to be clear i'm saying this as a white person#it's ok. i can be racist against my own kind. it's legal or whatever#if dave chappelle can do it i can do it too#...i actually haven't watched his stuff in forever and also i'm whiter than most literal crackers so this isn't really my place to speak.#but i've heard some black folks talk about how his stuff has a lot of internalized racism in it so i'll take their words for it#i do remember laughing a bit too hard at some of the racial shit on his show when i was an edgy 14 year old so maybe there's something#to that#i don't know. don't take my word for it i'm honkier than a clown nose
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