#i literally have to work in less than a hour but i needed to get this out of my system | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

seance · 1 year ago

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LET'S GET YOU BACK ON THE SHIP. YOU NEED IT.

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magic-is-something-we-create · 4 months ago

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awesome things about the second July drop for the lost:

- ano full body and weird ass weapon kit reveal - Lore conveyed through metaphor - first legit action sequence in the comic - lots of fun playing with panels and layout and shit - The Stories finally connect to each other

Painful™ things about the second July drop for the lost:

- all of that except the lore is on only two (2) of the pages - there are 30 panels overall in this drop - 22 of them are on those 2 pages - half of the ones not on those pages feature closeups of hands. in very specific poses. from the back - half of the ones ON THOSE PAGES also feature either hand closeups or crazy poses that ive never drawn from the angles i want them to be in before - i have 13 days to do 4 full 800x3400px pages - kill me

#this is lighthearted i think im going to actually have a lot of fun doing these pages #and tbh i could probably get the first two pages fully done in like. 2 sittings. like maaaybe 8 hours total to do both #one of those 2 pages literally has a single panel. ill probably get it done in less than an hour #and the other two are all very fun exciting things ive been champing at the bit to get to #its just. yaknow. action stuff #which i dont have any experience in really #also today was spent thumbnailing for the drop #took me uhhhh. probably 3.5 hours to do those #i will probably end up changing the layout a bit #cause like. even tho im working iwth thumbs in the actual ratio of the real pages #im not using the font. im doing them smallstyle. im not using a ruler for spacing. etc #so layout will def differ a bit #but hey this gives me a place to start from which is great #thats all i need really #braindumps.txt

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adashofniallandasprinkleoflunacy · 8 months ago

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home from work

#if I speak…#one of the girls walked out yesterday #the best worker we have is on the verge of blowing up on this bitch’s leaders bc since he can do everything quick and efficiently already #they’re putting 3 to 4 ppl’s workloads on him to see how far they can extend his worth and then they’re over his shoulder the whole time #micromanaging him so today he almost lost it and was literally walking around mumbling about his disrespectful they all are (facts)#and how if they don’t think he’s doing it right then they can do it and I know for a fact one of the ladies heard him #bc he wasn’t even trying to hide it at this point and like this dude is cool he has a lot of patience and helps out any way he can #so if HE’S on the brink of snapping then the rest of us don’t stand a chance LMFAO #anyways today was a fucking mess those leaders know nothing about our store yet so they have us making less than what we need until we need #it so we get behind constantly and they made prep a disaster bc again they think they can just prep a bunch of stuff in the morning #and it’ll last the whole day and yes that works in theory but the reality of the situation is every day is different and today #we sold double what we did yesterday so they had to move me to prep to fix their mistakes bc we were running out of stuff 4 hours in lmfao #and I’m the only one left who knows how to do everything on prep bc the other girls had never done it before #we’re supposed to prep 20 mac n cheese trays in the morning for the whole day #we open lunch at 10:30 tell me why I go into the cooler at 12 put more in the oven and there’s only 5 left #it’s been less than 2 HOURS and you’re already running out of macs which means those idiots prepped barely anything just to try and save mo #*money to cut down waste but that gag if you’re losing money bc now you’re short on everything and customers are leaving bc they’re having #to wait a long time for their food #and macs take 40 minutes to cool LMFAO #I get over there they’re out of parfaits they’re out of fruit cups they’re out of kale salads the front is coming in and having to take #stuff as I make it bc they keep getting orders and it’s all just a fucking mess #I have to make a custom wrap and what happens?? those morons didn’t pull the flatbreads out of the freezer like they’re supposed to every #night so now we have no flatbread and I had to run back there and put them in the warming drawer to defrost and we lost an order bc I had #nothing to make the wraps with <3 #I go back there to get more cold chicken SPOILER ALERT they didn’t have anyone make any this morning so now there’s no chicken for the wrap #and salad and it has to be grilled and then chilled for 2 FUCKING HOURS before it can be used #they’re a fucking disaster like 😭#was the store perfect before?? ofc not but it ran quickly and efficiently as it should and now it’s literally just a mess #this bitch hasn’t even owned it for a full week yet and has already fucked it all up #womp womp!!!!!!

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icewindandboringhorror · 10 days ago

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It's always interesting to hear about people's weird/unexpected "alternate life paths". Like, something that you could have done with your life, a job you almost took, a school you almost went to, etc - that was still actually realistic enough that it could have happened, but NOW it seems to not suit your current personality.

Like for example, I currently hate advertising (how manipulative it is, brands trying to be 'relatable', social media amplifying it to an obnoxious extreme, etc.) so much that even seeing a little ad before a youtube video is grating to even witness, but there was a point in time where I was genuinely seriously considering going into marketing/making commercials as a career lol. Or like, I have a relative who was very inclined to be a pastor when they were younger, even though today they're a super strong atheist, etc. etc.

#BECAUSE I knew I really liked filming and editing things and doing set design and costume design (from having done little bits of that #here and there in media classes and my own stuff - i used to be a lot more into making videos than I am now). BUT I was always thinking #that a movie is WAAY to big and long. even a short film. So I was trying to think of ways I could still like #have the fun of scouting locations to film and dressing up actors and etc. etc. without it having to be a Huge Million Dollar Production #on tv show or movie level. SO then I was thinking about like... just doing commercials. Or music videos. Like shorter things where I still #get the fun of the filming and everything but it's less of an intensive long term project.#So there is an alternate version of me (I suppose if i somehow did not end up having physical and mental health issues #as badly somehow.. or like.. randomly came into wealth and was able to pay my way through a nice college despite missing #days constantly being out because I'm sick or something lol) that works in some corporate advertising office coming up with commercials #and directing or filming them or doing the sets for them or something in that general vicinity.#I also was considering being a corporate psychologist. or whatever its called.. oh from google:#''Industrial and organizational (I/O) psychologists study and assess individual group and organization dynamics in the workplace''#I don't think I even knew what the job entailed. I was at the time just thinking like.. the type of person that comes into a business offic #and gives everyone personality assessments or does MBTI or big-5 testing crap for whatever reason that some businesses get that #done for people. Really i just wanted to be in a Corporate Big Office setting yet still do psychology. Because I used to be really fixated #on living in a big city. Like the ideas of everything being walkable. picking up a coffee in the morning. walking to my job in a Big #Skyscraper Building. people watching in a huge hotel lobby for lunch. flying frequently (I love airplanes and airports aesthetically).#living in an apartment with a giant window overlooking the city. etc. etc. BUT that was before i had really BEEN to a city. Then I actually #hung around a city a few times and went places and I was like... AUGh... The Sensory Overwhelm.. cars people lights loudness noise scary #everything happening all at once. etc. etc. (though even when I wanted to live in a city i NEVER strove for the Night Life. when i say I #enjoy city imagery I mean like... in the day time. Many people who like cities talk about The Night Life and post pictures of cities all #lit up at night and clubs and dancing and restaurants. none of that EVER appealed to me. perhaps a sign I am not a real city person. Like #I am NOT standing in a crowded bar full of loud people in the middle of the night lol.. get AWAY from me!!) but I do adore the #architecture of like bright white clean sterile modern spaces like huge airport lobbies or malls or etc. I think thats what reminded me of #city and what I liked about the idea of that life. Like I always LOVED the layout of schools and hospitals and trainstations and public #transport in general. Though even then I knew enough that I would not be a good architect/city planner. so I guess my adoration for those #spaces was merely to be channeled into LIVING there. but then I realized I didn't even really want to do that that much. I mean I still #definitely aim to live NEAR a city. like the little areas outside of it. I would never live in a rural place 4 hours from anything. I liter #ally just COULDNT since I need close access to hospitals sometimes lol. But I used to want to live in the CENTER of citites like high rise #condo. and now I'm like.... eh....... perhaps a smaller quieter walkable space nearby lol.. ANYWAY.. alternate me in my Business Suit eheh

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dragonji · 6 months ago

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genuinely dont know how im making it through this degree when one single final makes me wish I were **** so bad like. 😐

#j.txt #so utterly frustrated with myself its not like I even dont want to work on this topic !! its Fun I like it I get to make people listen to #me talk about my favorite oc !!! but apparently not even that is enough to get me to actually work on it in a reasonable timeframe.#ive had 3 straight days completely free that I Should have spent making progress on this and yet despite everything #I'm sitting here with less than 5 hours before I need to be in the room with a completed file #and it Still feels like chewing glass to do anything I should be doing for it. literally what the fuck is wrong with me man

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luxaofhesperides · 29 days ago

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sharon will u PLEASE hop off my ass?? goddamn.

#girl i PROMISE you the 20$ we spent for a few packs of baby wipes is not going to destroy the college #sorry for needing something to clean kids hands after they use charcoal. my bad for wanting to keep things clean ig #but also tf??? we can buy supplies we need. this is OUR fucking money. for us to use as needed. we're not taking from any other units #do something more productive w ur time instead of threatening us over fucking baby wipes and cups #also the nerve to suggest we reduce my hours so the college can pay me less but still demand we be open 40+ hours a week #oh ure upset ur friend couldnt come in here bc we were closed? news flash sharon we deserve breaks and vacation and sick leave to #dont demand we always have our door open when ure being a bitch abt having to pay me specifically #also u literally get paid more than me. shut up.#can u tell i hate it here lol #love my job love where i work HATE the college and most people in it #rambles #uuuuuuugh

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guinevereslancelot · 7 months ago

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job interview tomorrow 🙏

#working interview as an assistant prek teacher #i know kids are exhausting but its the only thing i have relevant experience in #and im tired of being rejected from every office job i apply to i need a job even if it pays 12 dollsrs an hour lol #anyway they'll pay for continuing education and the phone interview went really well #i think it seems like a nice place with nice people and she said she wouldn't start me at the bottom of the pay scale #so i might get more than i think #still probably not going to top sixteen an hour but its something #they called me in for prek even tho i didn't apply for that i applied for infant toddler teacher bc i have no relevant education #just lots of volunteer work with kids #but she said that one was taken and would i consider this one i didn't think i was qualified for so thats a good sign #and she seemed really nice #and the location is good its like a 17 minute drive and not too hard of a drive either #just one tricky turn #anyway #all job interviews fill me with impending doom and dread #even tho i interview pretty well i think i just never have the relevant experience to get the job lol #but this time it seems more likely #i have anotherdaycare job that literally pays twelve dollars an hour that wants to schedule an interview as well 😬#but hopefully i get this one #the other one is closer but doesn't seem like as nice of a place to work tbh #anyway im so stressed!!#i took a sleeping pill which i may regret #i never take one before an interview bc im afraid i'll be super sleepy and tired and not want to get up and be less sharp at the interview #but then i NEVER manage to sleep the night before which i decided is worse lol #so hopefully that doesn't backfire #goodnight ❤️

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butts-bouncing-on-the-beltway · 18 days ago

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I don't have a lot of energy these days [because of The Horrors] so I'm looking at my day and my priorities and trying to plan how I'm going to spend what energy I have, because I do need to be able to rest and relax but there are also things that need doing and that is a careful balance for me.

I managed to [mostly] clean the kitchen last night so I've kicked it out of the priority list until next weekend. Unfortunately the living room, bathroom, bedroom, and my office all need cleaning too. I think of the priorities, my office and the bedroom are the most important to me, so I'll probably push the living room and bathroom until at least Friday.

There's also the laundry. I don't have any clean clothes and as we're moving into winter I need to be more rigid about getting that done because days where the clothes can be dried on the line will be more limited. So I definitely need to wash an outfit or two and hang them up in the next hour.

That's already a really busy day, so I'll probably cut it there. But it's definitely going to still leave me a lot of work this week. Half my cleaning, at least one more round of laundry, settling dog food for the next couple of weeks, planting the fall/winter greens, doing some set up work on my computer, work on some writing projects, cleaning out the fridge, and patching some worn clothes. My work week isn't insane atm, but it is definitely limiting. Right now I have 6+4+0+4+2+5+5= 25 non work/non-survival needs (sleep, food, shower, etc) hours available each week. I need to figure out a regukar distribution of these that means everything is getting done and I still have an hour a day to myself as often as possible. I think it's probably not realistic to give myself more than an hour a day for free time/fun, which is a bit unfortunate because I've found in the past that my floor tends to be getting 2-3hrs of free time most days because of how I deal with transition and decision-making.

25-7 [1hr per day] is 18 hrs, so I just need to decide where and how to distribute those in order to keep pace with things.

Lets say the garden needs 3hrs per week, the laundry needs 4 hours (specifically 2 sets of 2 morning/early afternoon hours), the cleaning needs an hour a day to get through a maintenance clean of the house, and 3 hours once a week to work down any deep cleaning that's built up. Which is....already three more hours than I actually have each week. So I guess I'll make a plan to work in the garden for 20-40min of 4 of my free hours each week.

It really doesn't leave me any wiggle room. Only about 4 hours a week that isn't explicitly allotted to something that needs doing, which means there will probably me a lot of weeks where I only get an hour or so at best across the whole thing for free time. I guess I've had a hard time accepting that at this point, having actual time for myself or a time-intensive project is only available if I've taken a day off work. I love my job, but it's ... not comfortable to realize that it's the only love in my life I actually have time for anymore.

I think that's probably why I end up here so much. It's this mindless little way of zoning out into my own head, dissociating away from the exhaustion, for a few minutes at a time. I keep thinking I want to use this space differently, make it more if the things I enjoy. But I think what I really want is just to actually have the time and energy to do things I love that take work. I keep crying a few times every day and I couldn't figure out why, but like

I dunno

Why **wouldn't** I cry a little every day? It's the closest I'm getting to actual emotional release or relaxation in my life. We'd probably all cry. Heck. A lot of us probably DO, capitalism being what it is.

I guess I'm starting to wonder why I'm doing what I'm doing. What is there left for me to sacrifice to this life? What is actually serving me about not just letting myself go up like a fireball and take my surroundings with me? What in the ever loving fuck am I fighting this hard for?

All I ever want, all I want now, is to be able to live. To really, actually live. How does wanting to live bring you this close to killing yourself, whether on accident or on purpose? What am I actually doing that is LIVING and what am I doing that is FACILITATION of living? It can't all be facilitation, or I'm not actually facilitating fuck all.

I'm 30 goddamn years old and I need to figure out what it looks like to actually love my life. I fundamentally refuse to zombify myself like this for everyone else around me forever.

#i really wanted to believe that if i just sat down and did the math i'd be able to figure it out.#but there is literally not enough time in the day for me to do all this.#i suppose i could sleep less. it's...not great for me to get less than 9 hrs a day #but i could probably pull it off for brief stints #a week on a week off or something #get an extra two hours a day that way #and then of course there's my old go to #i could just stop eating or taking care of myself #lord knows it's my well-being that restri ts my time more than anything else #and if i work myself to death like mom did instead of committing suicide at least the life insurance pays out #in case anyone gives wifey inheritance trouble #i already don't eat until dinner so that part won't give me a TON of extra time #but an hour a day at the end of the night to write does sound lovely so it might be worth it #on the weeks i sleep less i could use my 2 extra hours a day to do ingredient prep so that wifey's food doesn't go to waste as much #maybe even work on the garden and the yard's facilities a bit. i have a few projects that need time and attention so those'd fot in #if i cut my pain meds too i could put an extra $50/week back in my budget and i could use that for project supplies and emergency funds #god even thinking about this is making me so tired.#i don't know what this will leave of me #i've been doing this so long now #feels like the last time i remember having a consistent hour to myself every day was my BA sophomore year #and that was the first time too lmao #i'd spent high school waking up at 3am every day after going to bed at 12am because I needed to do my hw in the mornings #my bus left at 7:30am and i had to do all my paper assignments - make myself lunch for the day - wash dishes/tidy the kitchen - and THEN #i could finally make sure i had my shit together for the bus and maybe nap for 5min #then i didn't get home from school until 4pm and i had to fix the kitchen from whatever my parents did before i got back #then make dinner for the family #then clean the living room from whatever the pets had dome all day #then take the dog for her nightly walk and take a shower #and usually sometime after dinner around 9pm I would get permission to run to my room and try to get a head start on my hw before 11pm #that was my lights out curfew so it gave me a blessed single guaranteed hour to do something for me.....assuming i could stay conscious

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barkingangelbaby · 6 months ago

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i need to go to bed.. but instead, enjoy pictures of me n my cat that lives at my grandpa's house

that's my son !!!!!!!!!!

#i miss this cat. all the fucking time #my sweet angel baby son #there's no better cats than porch cats that become indoor cats #ahhhh he literally slept with me every night when i was 17-21 #MY BABY FR #he's the kind of cat that purrs as soon as you look at him #and you can just grab him n snuggle whenever you want #and he jumps on his hind legs for pets when you put your hand out #anyway i need to go to sleep i have to get up for work in less than 5 hours #rAMbles #am

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mwagneto · 1 year ago

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got my first shift at my first Real Job tmrw night ending at 1am wml😔😔😔

#i love how flexible the shifts are and they're all really short it's like ideal for me but also. omfg. scary 😭#gritting my teeth. i need money to leave this shithole country and i need a job to get money it's fine. this is fine #it's literally so discouraging to know ppl in the west have minimum wages of like 15 euros meanwhile it's literally 3 eur here #like even if you work hard you're only earning a fraction of what you could be if you were doing the same shit out there😭#just like. the inherent agony of knowing im earning money that's gonna be way less valuable out there #but im not on minimum wage and it's flexible but shoulddd be around 5 - 15 euros an hour #it's the only reason i even applied at least this way i can tell myself im actually making a positive dent in my savings #idek how much i have saved rn coz i never spend on anything and I've been saving since i knew what money was #but forint is literally not worth the paper it's printed on anymore like man i remember when #a euro was worth 200 forint.... i literally have the same coins i did when i was 10 but they're worth less than half as much now. crazy #man I should've gone into economics or global politics for real i love this shit. whatever that's a whole different spiral #barking

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anaalnathrakhs · 8 months ago

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...i'm starting to wonder if i wasn't actually pretty often failed by the adults in my life as a young kid tbh.

#i'm always doubtful where to put the blame #in a morally neutral causality kind of way to be clear #because like. i dont know. if i was the adult. confronted to the opaque behavior of a child. would i have done better?#but also i can't help but think #why the fuck did they make me skip a grade (last grade of primary on top of that) when i was notorious for never doing my homework #and was incredibly inconsistent across topics #like i sucked at math. like ''needs to count on fingers to do a simple addition or substraction'' sucking at math.#like i never learned any multiplication tables sucking at math #like i never got how to pose divisions and still can't at age 18 because logicomathematics are completely counterintuitive to me #and just. the work was never done to make me Get It. my work or teachers' work who knows. but perhaps skipping a grade wasnt the solution #or like #apparently when i was three years old the pediatrician suspected smth was up with me #either autism directly or ''generally suspicious child'' we're not clear on that #but he told my parents. and everybody said ''we better test that'' and then. nothing. idk.#they filled a parental report of behaviors questionnaire for... adhd i think? autism maybe. and that's it. never fucking heard about it.#god. i just remembered my mom saying proudly they almost never put me in the nursery as a kid.#always either with a parent or family or a nanny.#and perhaps mother. you could have foreseen that a kid with no siblings no pets no kid neighbors no playdates. would end up socially fucked #i remember the teachers scolding late students and showing us that we were supposed to be in bed by 9:30 or something #and internally i was like BUDDY AT 9PM WE'RE HALFWAY THROUGH DINNER #MOM'S BEEN HOME FOR LESS THAN AN HOUR #and shit. i don't know. i was scared of the dark as a child. to the point that even with the compromise #of keeping the door ajar and lights in the hallway (which i had to fucking advocate for btw)#i still slept curled up in the bathroom on a towel sometimes when it got too scary #and i would cry and scream before going to bed. i would beg my mom for sleeping pills from a young age.#i would often find myself in the morning sleeping with my face smushed between the pages of the book i literally fell asleep on #because i read until my eyes gave out #and a couple years later when i got a 3ds i'd play at night and if my dad caught me he'd storm into my room and i'd hide under the comforte #and he'd punch a couple times and whisper-yell at me not to do that and go to sleep #it took until i was about 15yo for me to see a sleep specialist

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tskumoyuuma · 11 months ago

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people really need to watch movies outside of hollywood. not every movie needs to have a big satisfying ending where everything is answered and you have no questions. sometimes a movie is more about what happens instead of the end