#i literally had to groom it with a pet brush

[gamebunny-advance]

Ah.

I do have 1 "in progress" photo, which I took to sketch the face out for the poll.

I think at this point of the process, all of his clothes were sewn, but I still needed to make the head accessories and paint the details.

His face is looking kinda lumpy because he was originally stuffed with foam pieces, but I decided to swap out the filling near the end for some proper poly-fil fluff.

[pursuitseternal]

𝓒𝓸𝓻𝓭𝓮𝓱𝓵𝓲𝓪 𝓝𝓢𝓕𝓦 𝓐𝓵𝓹𝓱𝓪𝓫𝓮𝓽🗡️🐦‍⬛

🎨 by her co-parent @marimosalad

NSFW Alphabet

Thanks for the tags @bardic-inspo and @nyx-knox ❤️❤️

Tagging (I totally forgot to do earlier!): @astarionancuntnin @marlowethebard @bellasmumblingsandmusings @lets-just-daydream @charmandabear

@marimosalad and I both collaborated on our answers 🤭

A = Aftercare (what they’re like after sex)

They stay dirty for a while… lots of licking each other clean 😉😏

B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

Cordy— his eyes. AA—her hair… her tits… and her thighs that could crush his skull

C = Cum (where does your muse prefer to cum/have someone cum)

Inside. Always.

D = Dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

As Elves in the Yuirwood, once they started physical intimacy, they couldn’t stop. They were relentless in sneaking off to explore each other in the woods… or their homes, sneaking in and out at night. Secretly, the first oral sex Astarion received was in his parents’ receiving hall… in his father’s throne. 😏

E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?)

As young elves, they were each other’s ’firsts:’ kiss, hand job, oral, penetration… Once Astarion left for his studies and ‘died,’ Cordehlia took no other lovers, turning her love/lust for her betrothed into just war forged bloodlust.

F = Favorite position (this goes without saying)

Anything face to face.

G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.)

Intense, but that’s not to say humorless. They tease and call pet names and taunt to control orgasms… but they also have known each other for centuries. The smallest thing from their childhood memories might make them dissolve into giggles. (And Astarion’s laugh is definitely higher pitched!)

H = Hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)

As two High Elves, neither of them have body hair. Astarion cares way more about his head of hair than she does. Cordehlia would rather chop it off for battle… but Astarion loves it long, so she brushes it and braids it for him. The longer it is, the easier it is for him to yank when they get… playful.

I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)

As Elves, they were intense… as Vampires they are feral. They love to feel each other’s sensations through their mind bond. Having been together for decades before, they know one another’s bodies by heart

J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon)

So, in “Our Blood” canonically, Astarion jacks off to a poster of Cordehlia, not realizing it’s her due to his memory loss. For Cordehlia, it was all she had until the “Tiefling Party”

Astarion jacking off to Cordehlia bathing in the river is teeeeeechnically why they got engaged. Whether Astarion meant to get caught is a different question!

K = Kink (one or more of their kinks)

They switch Dom/sub, especially in private. Outwardly, Cordehlia is fiercely loyal, protective, and mostly submissive. In private or in front of those that are closest to them, she calls him out on all his bullshit, taunts him, calls him names… and he likes it.

L = Location (favorite places to do the do)

Literally anywhere, any surface. But they feel the most fulfilled doing it in the forest under the stars. Like their first time.

M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)

They each have “The Look” ™. That one that they flash to the other in public or private and it’s fucking within minutes.

N = No (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

Pet play. They will wear a collar, but only for a while and only as a toy. They share power too equally and take turns being the dominant too much for actual pet play.

O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)

Yes. Anytime. All the time. Anywhere.

P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)

Depends on the mood or situation leading into the intimacy. Also on the amount of blood one or the other or both consumed.

Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)

They love impulsive sex. Astarion is a little bit better about keeping things discreet. When she’s in a particular mood, she’ll make it no secret that she wants Astarion right there, right now

R = Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.)

Sometimes. Both of their past traumas haunt them from time to time (Astarion’s sexual trauma, and Cordy’s trauma of seeing Astarion with someone else) so they are still guarded in some ways; for now, they are mostly content with doing things they know they love.

S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)

With their combined Vampiric strength, they can basically keep going forever until they get bored. Just two vampires doing vampire things.

T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)

Not really, their fangs and fingers and sexes are good almost all the time. They’ve been known to experiment a little with a well timed Mage Hand or an Enlarge spell.

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

Teasing has been their love language since they were kids. They are just really immature together and they bring that energy to bed

V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)

They can be really fucking loud together. Like a competition. She likes to make noises to spur him on. They are no longer two little elves sneaking in the forest get laid. As full vampires, during their more feral couplings, she grunts and growls until she gets her way.

W = Wild card (a random headcanon for the character)

Astarion loves being the one to take her out of her armor. He spoils her by buying new armor and weapons every chance he gets. He has them all engraved with ravens and feathers; little elvish phrases woven in the details. But when she’s back from fighting, he’s the one that removes her armor piece by piece and worships her for the fierce warrior queen she is.

X = X-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes)

Slender and elegant as a High Elf, but she got a rounded butt. Muscular and curvy, and big tits, but they’re usually wrapped really tight under her armor so you don’t see how curvy she actually is until she takes everything off.

Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)

Since reconnecting with Astarion – off the charts. Her lust and bloodlust are basically interchangeable.

Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

She doesn’t. She’ll take a short break, then get up to go polish her blades in the middle of the night, or take a solitary bath to freshen up. Then she’ll go back into bed to cuddle for a bit, trance for 20 minutes, and be good to go for the next day

[dckweed]

i need to RANT or maybe educate the public or maybe both, idk.

for those that don’t know, i am a full time dog groomer (hopefully soon to be part time 1 day per week). I have been in this industry as a bather/brusher since i was 17 (im 25 now), and as a full on stylist for almost a year now. I am also on my SECOND major hand injury in less than a year on the same hand because of how absolutely brutal on the body my career is.

I work corporate grooming right now (though i was trained and got my start in private, and i have plenty to say about the private vs corporate grooming debate but that’s a whole other post and doesn’t have anything to do with this one), and because I got hurt at a corporate salon there’s workers comp etc etc and im currently unable to work on dogs or in salon unless I’m answering phones due to my weight limit (i did the big one this time), so ive been on register. a lot of people come through my line surprised to me because they either know me from grooming or they just recognize that I wear a different uniform than the rest of the store employees, and they’re always shocked that I got injured as badly as i did, which is fine and dandy until some people come through and try to tell me it’s not at all possible for me to be injured this way because all I do is ‘rub down dogs’ all day.

That is a massive misconception about this industry. Grooming is not just sitting and petting dogs all day, or ‘rubbing them down’ grooming is using every muscle your body has all day every day because dogs FIGHT. Dogs are heavy, dogs are difficult, it’s very rare that a dog is perfect for absolutely every aspect of grooming..it’s very rare that we have a dog that’s easy on our bodies. if there’s no one available to help you team left, guess what? you’re dead lifting an 80-125lbs dog onto the drying or grooming table all by yourself if your prayers weren’t answered for them to at least put their front end up there for you. You’re fighting to keep dogs as still as possible so you don’t hurt them, crouching into awkward and uncomfortable positions, being snarled and growled at, kicked, bit, nipped, snapped at several times a day or even throughout the whole groom.

Dog groomers do not ‘play’ with dogs all day. We are working on your animal. That’s like saying that a hair stylist just plays with hair all day. Some of us have dogs that don’t like to stand (im looking at you doodles and golden retrievers, Bernese mountains dogs) some dogs like to bite and scream the whole time (shibas, husky’s, samoyeds). This time, i hurt my hand by trying to keep a dog standing so i can shave his belly without potentially cutting off a wiener or a skin tag. A 100lbs doodle sat down on my hand so hard that i have one of the worst wrist sprains my physical therapist has seen from my industry, not to mention possible tendinitis, torn ligaments and pinched nerves. First hand injury 8months ago was a Samoyed jumping on my hand so hard that it tore off a piece of bone in my finger and tore a ligament in said finger. I have been bitten to the point of stitches and scarring, not to mention the amount of times i blew out my knees, the blood clot i got last year that was concluded happened from work because im stuck in the same positions most of the day. I have seen coworkers have their faces bitten off by dogs that weren’t supposed to be aggressive (one of my previous coworkers had to have her cheek stitched back from the inside and surgery to repair deviated septum caused by the dog), bitten by well trained dogs that have been clients of them for years, I’ve seen torn muscles in backs because of fighting to keep dogs still or to keep from banging/hanging themselves off of tables if they freak out over dryers or nail clippers or literally being brushed, even from the dead lifting i mentioned before. I have seen torn rotator cuffs early on in careers, i have seen tendinitis, carpal tunnel, broken noses from donkey kicking, bruised bellies and faces, bruises from being bit so hard not to mention emotional and psychological damages from being screamed at and belittled by pet parents who think we’re fucking them around because we weren’t able to get something done due to dogs behavior, or because we’re not willing to brush out their dog that’s pelted from muzzle to the end of the tail and in between the toes.

Grooming is hard, physically demanding labor. We are not ‘playing’ with your dogs all day, we are providing you a service. YOU get to go play with your dogs all day, we get to be sometimes literally shit and pissed on by them.

Please, put some respect on the industry of dog grooming and stop assuming our jobs aren’t any harder than yours just because we work with dogs and you don’t. PLEASE respect and listen to your groomers offering advice on dogs that need daily cost maintenance that YOU refuse to maintain. PLEASE do better as a fucking society.

And if you have questions, ask. Don’t just assume things.

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

AITA For basically giving up on my cat?

It's been a few years and I actually have gotten minor trauma from this event. But when I graduated high school my dad came back one day with a gift for me: a little kitten. I loved him so much he became my emotional support animal and he naturally would help me come down from psychosis episodes and anxiety/panic attacks. He was my life. A few years ago, my mom moved out of our apartment and displaced me and my partner. We were technically homeless. My grandmother pushed me into staying with her and my partner stayed with his family. I had 2 cats at the time (one elderly and one my esa) but My grandmother hates cats and said she'd kill them if I brought them with me. So they went with my partner. Then my partners family became homeless after they got evicted because the new landlord wanted new tenants. They didn't do anything wrong, he literally just said, "I want to see new faces and start fresh" so he kicked them out. So I asked a friend of my mom if she could watch my cats. She said yes, but my esa didn't get along with her other cat, so she asked a neighbor to watch him while I figured out something. Two of my friends were moving in together and said, "hey we can take your cats with us that way they have a place to stay where you can see them whenever you want" cuz we literally have a key to their apartment and are allowed to go over whenever for whatever reason. So I talked to my mom's friend and she said "yeah you can take your (elderly) cat back" and no problem. Then she had me message her neighbor to get my ESA back. The neighbor said "no. I found some knots and mats in his fur, which means you're clearly neglecting him so I gave him to my grandson. If you try and take the cat back I'm calling the ASPCA and you'll never be allowed to have a pet ever again". Prior to him going over to there, I had previously actually shaved/trimmed him so I KNOW he didn't have knots/mats. If he did it was because SHE neglected him when he was in her care. Despite the fact that I gave her his entire grooming kit. I even told her, "he's a longhair you need to brush him every day and every few weeks you need to trim him" and she agreed to it. Clearly she never did it and blamed me instead. She said, "it's better he's with my grandson because my grandson is blind and ACTUALLY needs an ESA. you don't need an esa Just because you have anxiety". Readers, I have schizophrenia, autism, and adhd. Diagnosed. My doctor has my cat ON FILE as my ESA. I was at my two younger brothers birthday party, crying my eyes out. But to this day, I keep feeling this absolute guilt that I'm an awful person for not fighting to get my cat back. Last year that same lady texted me telling me I was a horrible pet owner for not even asking how he was doing and just giving up on him. I told her to never contact me ever again. I just thought what's the point? We're getting our own apartment soon but we were homeless for so long that at this point I feel like he probably has a better life now without me. But her saying I was an asshole for not fighting for him makes me cry at night still. I feel like a bad person. AITA?

What are these acronyms?

[carefuldogclipping]

do you find grooming stressful? I'm a groomer and the time constraints mixed with some of the uncooperative behavior stresses me out on some days

P.s I like you're work

Knee jerk answer is "oh my god yes" but the true answer is it is what you make it and there is a lot that goes into that

Early on in my career I was getting SUPER stressed about time and clients them being upset about wait times. Someone I was grooming with said "we're giving haircuts, not saving lives, they can wait." And it's true, while it does suck to wait 4, 5, 6 however many hours for a haircut- no one is dying. Expectation setting is key: if you keep hitting 4-5 hours for your grooms but are telling clients 2-3, then people get worried, cranky, etc. Just let them know you're a bit slower ("I focus on quality!" "I practice patient grooming!") Whatever way you want to spin it, and the client can decide if they can handle that or if they want to take the dog back and maybe book with someone else or somewhere else. And then don't take it personally if they do, over the years I have had a few people say that 3 hours was too long and took the dog back after a few minutes or didn't leave the dog at all.

Pet behaviour is also something that... comes with time? With confidence? With groom style?? I know I work well with fussy dogs, and am known in the community for working well with them. That was something I did always just have going for me, and I'm not entirely sure why. BUT I will say it still did get me cranky and frustrated when a dog did get to me, until maybe about half a year ago now I read a post here about revenge. And basically that people (Americans?) want punishment for 'wrongs' and we should want more like, growth or acceptance or something something and I'm butchering it but it literally changed the way I thought about grooming

It flipped a switch in my brain and like, there has always been at least one groomer in a salon that like, the dog is biting and they say "go ahead then, bite the brush" knowing it will be sharp and hurt them. And like, I had always said 'at the end of the day you can only be so mad at a dog' but god there are times when you do get mad! But we as humans needs to take a moment to step back, calm down, let the Pet calm down, and then think of a work around. Dog tries to bite for this or that? Get a cone, groomers helper, muzzle, another person to help. A lot of my dogs don't let me run clippers down their front legs, that's all just scissor work.

And slowly with time the pets do get better (even if very little for some, heaps for others) because they see you aren't going to force them to do something they see as god awful terrible, or if you do that it's fast and there is congratulations and petting afterwards.

I will say though that grooming does take longer because of this and I'm mainly able to do it this way because I don't have a company or manager breathing down my back to do more and more dogs faster and faster with more add-ons and and and. Nah, I let my customers know I AM the grooming department, just me by myself, it will take a long time, but it will look very good, your pet will be happy, and it will be cheap!

[bohemian-nights]

Maester Norren's claims about how Daemon "doted" on Nettles to me just sounds like Daemon reminding Nettles to take care of herself especially the part about brushing her hair and dressing. On a shallow level it might look like that is what Daemon is doing but it could honestly be misinterpreted since they refuse to see Daemon actually being in love with Nettles because he's obviously married and because of his past. Nettles isn't incapable of taking care of herself, she's VERY capable but living when living on the streets your whole life vanity is at the bottom on the list of things to tale care of, once you have a decent clothes on your back enough to cover you and get you through then you're good so of course Nettles can be forgetful that she now has the resources to take better care of her looks other than bathing. ALSO it's interesting to note that one of Daemons gifts to Nettles is a silver looking glass to me that just proves that Daemon wants Nettles to remember to take care of herself AND on a more romantic side Daemon could've gifted it to her so she can see the beauty in herself that he sees in her and so she can find the beauty within herself, honestly these gifts are so well thought out that it's no wonder Nettles fell for him too because no one has figuratively amd literally observed her so well that they are able to pin point the things she may want and need JUST LIKE SHE DID WITH SHEEPSTEALER the only difference is Daemon isn't doing this for any other reason he's doing it because he loves her and wants to take care of her and he wants to provide for her and show her that he sees and knows her.

This a thousand times🙌🏽 When it comes to Fire & Blood because it is not written in a traditional format people are always saying look at the actions or look at what this character has had to deal with, but suddenly with Nettles, everyone is allergic to actually analyzing her story and journey.

They don't see her as an actual character in her own right. They see her as a tool. Which spills over to their interpretation of her relationship with Daemon.

All this fuss and the arguments being made harkens back to one side wanting to make Nettles into Daemon’s victim and the other into some baby bada** feral pet. I’ve said this before, but both don’t want her to be an actual character with her own wants and desires because then she’s a threat.

So they ignore how Nettles grew up to say she didn’t know how to take care of herself. Even though she was smart enough to claim a dragon that no one else could claim, knowing how soap and water work is way too advanced for her🙃.

Daemon looks after Nettles, making sure she has nice things, that she’s looking after her physical appearance and health, caring for her because he cares for her because he loves her, gets ignored.

All in favor of Nettles is mentally a toddler and Daemon is being a sexual predator again. Yeah, it is easy enough to jump to the second conclusion(the first conclusion has to be one of the dumbest borderline-racist arguments I have seen in this fandom), but look at Daemon’s actions.

If he is grooming Nettles why save her? Why go through all that trouble to dote upon her when in the end he’s not going to be there to enjoy the fruits of his labor?

When this is pointed out they go oh yeah but he brought her into this mess in the first. Ignoring the fact yet again that Daemon isn’t in the business of saving people just to save them. Look at who he is.

If he did not genuinely love Nettles, if he had not put her before his own wife, which yeah it can be construed as wrong, but these same people overlook incest, child murder, and racism to shout true love so adultry really isn’t the highest crime one can commit, he would have let those orders be carried out.

This is the same guy who murdered his young nephew. Who was fine with killing his dead wife’s uncle (on Rhaenyra’s orders in the book). He isn’t Mr. Nice Guy. He would have killed Nettles himself if he felt nothing for her.

And yeah has it ever occurred to them that Nettles herself could actually want Daemon? That she wants a romantic relationship with him just as much as he wants one with her.

This man who is kind to her, loving towards her, who cares and looks after her, who in many ways is just as unseen as she is, but he sees her. She’s never had that before. It's little wonder for the reasons above why she wouldn't love him, but they ignore all that.

She's old enough to fight in a war a pointless war, because I've seen very few complaints on how she's too young to be used by Team Black, but she's too young to be loved. You hate to see it.

[cosmicsproutcake]

How many cats did you have to groom, if any?

When my mom was working from home, she had a fair amount of cat clients that I helped her with. The easiest was probably Oreo; a fat ass black and white cat that would let you do literally anything to him provided you were feeding him treats haha

But even with him, as he got older, he started getting aggressive. Their hearing and vision start to go, and their teeth start to rot, and their bones start to ache, and they don't understand we're just trying to keep them clean and healthy, so they lash out 'cause sometimes the way we have to move them to get at areas like between their legs or their armpits isn't exactly comfortable, but they also can't be left to mat.

Some cats were just nail cuts and brush-outs, but some were either lion cuts (I hate this cut lol) or needed to be shaved due to matting (usually obese or extremely long-haired like persians with lazy owners who don't understand these cats can't groom themselves effectively, like if you're not gonne brush your cat just get a fucking short-haired cat 🤬🤬🤬)

On one particularly unfortunate occasion the owner of one of the cats my mom groomed literally nearly dislocated his cat's shoulders 'cause he didn't listen to my mom (a pet groomer with 30+ years experience) when she told him not to hold his cat by the front legs 'cause if he panics he'll backflip and hurt himself. Well, guess exactly what the cat who'd never been groomed before did when my mom turned her clipper on. Probably could've worked with that cat, but didn’t 'cause of the owner; tried to blame my mom for the cat's injuries she'd literally told him holding the cat like that would cause :/ :/

[partyoffourplusfur]

Ya know I’m not sure I’ve ever formally posted about our dog, Greg, on here. Getting ready to try a new training tool so why not start documenting on here 🤷‍♀️

We got Greg 2? Years ago (time melts into eachother these days) and he’s great. He’s a 3 year old mini poodle (I think he’s a schnauzer/poodle mix) Loves to play fetch, tug, and “get that dog”. He’s amazing with the kids. So tolerant and vocal about when he doesn’t want to be messed with which the kids have learned to back off which is also great. He plays with the cats. (Well Billie. They’re bffs. Olive isn’t a fan of playing with him. She’s a cranky old lady) He loves being brushed and I’m able to groom him myself (a fantastic trait of a long haired pet for a broke ass bitch)

BUT he’s reactive. And it’s a real pain in the ass.

But. He’s just reactive. Not aggressive. I always feel the need to clarify that.

Mostly to other dogs and men. Can’t just let people live their lives.

He will bark up a big bad storm, but the moment said person is near him, he’s on his back asking for belly rubs 🙄 literally. He was barking at a guy running in the neighborhood. Living his life. And got away from us and I had to yell at the guy (he’s just loud! He won’t bite you! And Greg just rolled over the second he was in arms distance of the dude🙄) all bark no bite.

Dogs on the other hand, I keep him away from of course because im not going to let anyone potentially get bit.

We had an instance where a neighbor dog was loose (it’s a whole thing. I actually called animal control on them and they haven’t been out loose since. Anyways) and came near us and Greg lost his freaking mind. Dog was friendly and just wanted to say hi but Greg only saw a threat to me and the kids and I was swinging him in the air by his harness so he didn’t get close enough to bite them or be bit because at that point I would have abandoned him to get the kids inside and then who knows what kind of damage would have been done to the both of them.

We’ve tried redirecting with a clicker and treats. And that works when we’re inside the house. Not so much when we’re in public. Because he’s like DANGER! DANGER! A THREAT TO MY BABIES! A THREAT TO MY MOM! even though everyone is totally fine and he’s the one making a fool of himself.

Anywho. Next we’re trying a bark collar. Which I’ve always been pretty against. Because like who wants to SHOCK their pet? But I’ve discovered that bark collars these days typically have settings, where they first beep, and then they vibrate, and then they’ll shock. And you can change the intensity of the vibrate and shock settings. So really it can be very subtle. And lots of reviews said once their dog realized what the beep meant, they generally learned to shut the heck up because they didn’t want to be shocked. So we’re gonna try it inside the house for a week or so and once we’re not barking so much in the home, then we’ll try neighborhood walks, then try being in public. And hopefully he’ll learn to not bark and we can stop using the collar.

It wouldn’t be so bad if it was just when he was in public. He’s unfortunately pretty reactive to Jesus a lot of the time and always trying to “protect” me (even though I swear he’s his favorite person) Oh like for example last night I fell asleep in bed and Jesus was playing games. Greg was in bed with me and he also fell asleep. Jesus came in to get the phone charger and spooked Greg and he was barking up a storm (and scared the shit out of me) at Jesus even though he clearly knows THAT HE LIVES HERE TOO like damn dude. It’s not that big of a deal he’s allowed to come into his own room. Chilllllllll.

Anyways yeah that’s what’s going on with the dog and I have pretty high hopes. It’d be great if he could at the very least learn to not bark when in the house. He barks at the neighbors when they come into the building or sometimes when they’re walking around too loud upstairs.

Greg is just a loud boy with anxiety.

[bladedwoe]

NAME,   Astrid

NICKNAME,   I think Astrid's name is short enough you can't really make a nickname out of it tbh. She sometimes calls herself "Den mother" so maybe that?

GENDER, Female

ORIENTATION,   Pansexual / Polyamorous

PREFERRED  PET  NAMES,   No preferences

RELATIONSHIP  STATUS,   Married (by default)

FAVORITE  CANON  SHIP( S ),  I'm just going to go with Arnbjorn for this since I base a lot of her romantic leanings and types off of their relatio ship.

FAVORITE  NON-CANON  SHIP( S ),  I haven't really had an oc ship with Astrid. I have one that is approaching ship territory, but nothing official or set in stone yet.

OPINION  ON  TRUE  LOVE,  Astrid believes in it to an extent, but she doesn't really believe in the idea of soul mates (specifically one soul mate, she thinks there can be multiple and different types that range in the platonic and familial category). She thinks true, geninue love does exist despite her deprived outlook on life.

OPINION  ON  LOVE  AT  FIRST  SIGHT,   Astrid doesn't believe in this. She trusts her gut feeling and her intuition, so she might feel a strong attraction (or pull) to someone, but she doesn't necessarily believe in the idea of love at first sight. She thinks it's childish. Attraction exists and is the start, but she needs to know her person deeply.

HOW  ‘ROMANTIC’  ARE  THEY,  Astrid is kind of subtle with her romance. I think she uses words of affirmation and physical touch with her partner, but there's definitely a difference when she's out and about and when she's alone. She has to keep a somewhat professional demeanor about her as a leader, so she might brush her fingers along her partner's shoulders, or tease them a little. But she more of expressed her love in private. I think late at night, when Astrid can wind down for the day, she'll express to her partner how much she appreciates them, praises them, and will put her heart on full display. Another case of this would be if they're really hurt or near death, she will literally crumble and her cheeky and coy (or business-like and demanding, whatever she feels like will suit the situation) demeanor will crack. So usually, it's subtle, but she keeps a vibe of "I'll always be there for you" around her partner where she'll put their wellbeing beyond herself.

IDEAL  PHYSICAL  TRAITS,   Muscular, grey or white hair, facial hair, rugged appearance, older than her, taller than her, well groomed (hygienic). Physical traits aren't that important to Astrid, honestly, she's more drawn into personality but she find a lot of different appearances attractive. Her attraction to women varies and she has no preferences.

IDEAL  PERSONALITY  TRAITS,  Loyalty, submissive, violent/murderous (not to her, but in general), bold, adventurous, intelligent, charming (in however way she views it), confident, creative. (She finds shy individuals cute, but she'll grow bored of it if it persists).

UNATTRACTIVE  PHYSICAL  TRAITS,   Short, lean/skinny, unhygienic, meek looking.

UNATTRACTIVE  PERSONALITY  TRAITS,  Boring, too stuck on themselves, inflexible, controlling (of her), weak, indecisive, addict, always hot tempered, insecure, passive.

IDEAL  DATE,  Murder date? Astrid isn't actually that materialistic. She doesn't have a high standard with a date. She prefers a more low-key, one-on-one date that allows her to get to know her partner and have some fun. That can be chatting over dinner. Still wants to have a murder date though.

DO  THEY  HAVE  A  TYPE,  Sort of? Dilfs? But honestly, she is open to most people tbh.

AVERAGE  RELATIONSHIP  LENGTH,  Astrid has had quick flings and some average length relationships. Astrid usually doesn't operate with monogamy. She's polyamorous, but she will have multiple long-term partners since she doesn't enter a romantic relationship unless she's committed to that person. Any long-term relationship is usually with Dark Brotherhood or Thieves Guild members, anyone within their criminal circle. Outside of that, it's flings. I would say... a year or more, sometimes less.

PREFERRED  NON-SEXUAL  INTIMACY,   Cuddling, having her partner bathe her or give her massages. She is willing to massage her partner. But she just enjoys sitting in their presence and talking mostly. She's occupied with work, planning, and taking care of the Dark Brotherhood a lot, so she prefers the small moments where she can breathe and chill with her partner.

COMMITMENT  LEVEL,   It takes a lot out of Astrid to get into a romantic relationship. She has to air out all her secrets and be vulnerable about her fears, thus showing more of her true side out there. She doesn't get into a romantic relationship with someone (unless plotted) until she feels like she can trust them with all her secrets. With being polyamorous, when she enters an official relationship, she's 100% loyal. Astrid has had flings, but when she got with Arnbjorn (for example), she doesn't operate that way and will only date someone else if all parties agree and she trusts them fully.

OPINION  OF  PUBLIC  AFFECTION,   Surprisingly, Astrid doesn't really like PDA. She will subtly run her fingers along her partner's shoulder or hair, but she keeps all affection behind closed doors. She will only engage in PDA if it's to distract someone for whatever reason.

PAST  RELATIONSHIPS,   She had a fling with Delvin Mallory in the Thieves Guild. I headcanon this was mostly a FWB scenario that ended when Delvin wanted to leave the DB and when Astrid was starting to explore polygamy. Delvin wasn't really into that as a whole, so they both split apart for the best of both parties. Astrid also got occupied with DB duties and rising to the leadership position.

tagged by :  Stole from my other blog

tagging : steal it if you want

[i-never-forgot]

You already know I’m going to elaborate on your points 🫡 buckle up buttercups!

When they’re first reunited she puts aside her own insecurity about the patch as a way of getting back at him—a constant visual reminder out of spite to remind him exactly what he’d done to her and why she felt the way she did about him. It’s not until after they reconcile that she realizes quite how much it actually upsets him—to know that even if he’s able to smooth things over and earn her forgiveness, that he quite literally cannot take back (at the very least) that one thing. She’ll carry it the rest of her life, that cruel mark of him allowing his own selfish terror overriding the care he had for her…and, in a way, so will he. He gets melancholy every single time he sees it, a bit quieter than usual and withdrawn, so she decides to cover it when she can so he doesn’t have to think about it (out of sight, out of mind…but in some ways this brings his attention to it even more strongly). I can imagine him not even wanting to come close to touching it, afraid that he would hurt her again by brushing the sensitive nerves and exposed skin there. Maybe she talks him into petting the length of her back eventually as a way to calm him down when his snowballing thoughts get to be too much for him to handle.

She’s not much bigger and it’s only really noticeable when she stands next to Lu, but when she evolves she’s got the body type of those long cats that can stretch out like accordions lol (also her mama instincts would absolutely kick in with Ribbons being so smol—in either of their forms she would cut a bitch who even looked at Ribbons and Aimilios the wrong way lolll).

Lu will get much more love in the main portion of my fic (if I ever get it written 🥲), but I’ve been a bit preoccupied with the future trio (particularly That Old Man™️, as well you know) so like I said I haven’t given him as much of a spotlight as he deserves…but he is the Best Boy and I would die for him. (Eliana almost has.👀)

The grayed muzzle was the first thing I decided he would have lol, I think it gives him character

And yes 😩 I love thinking about the actual implications of what living as a Pokémon would be like—Leafeons don’t have to eat since they photosynthesize, so I love playing with ideas like that! Her appetite plummets majorly (until she’s wounded, then she has to get some supplemental energy) and it’s a big adjustment for her. Her leaves also indicate her overall health (wilting, yellowing, burning, drying out, rotting, etc). In the autumn they turn shades (bc the shiny form not being fall colors is a travesty), then in the winter they thin out and curl up. In the spring they get really itchy and she sheds them for new growth to start. In exchange for the lack of food intake she has to drink a bunch more water in exchange, though. Her leaves have the same texture as ferns—supple and smooth but delicate and prone to tearing (unless while using moves like Leaf Blade, Solar Beam, etc) whereas her fur shortens and becomes more downy.

It was a little awkward for her to be reunited with Grovyle and Celebi given the circumstances, but being a grad tour gives them something to bond over. Grovyle’s the one who will lay out in the sun with her for hours on end, dozing out chattering lazily bc it makes them feel a little drunk/sleepy. They have a running joke about eating dirt that drives Dusknoir crazy because he knows they don’t actually do it or have to but they’ll start talking about sand or load or peat and how different they all taste and he starts to Worry (but only slightly). She and Grovyle usually end up helping each other preen/groom, especially if he’s shedding his skin as well as his leaves.

Since Dusknoir becomes the unofficial caretaker for his three plants for teammates he gets quite good at tending to houseplants and a garden lol.

I wanted to ask for curiosity sake BUT!!! What does Lu wear/look like when he’s evolved into a fully fledged Lucario? We’ve seen Eliana but I don’t think we’ve seen him yet, and I’m SUPER interested :O

I’m not great at drawing Pokes besides Eevee (especially from memory) so the one other time I’ve drawn a Lucario recently I decided…not to post it🥲

But! I don’t give Lu enough attention (plus I’ve been meaning to post some more refined sketches of this duo), so…here you go!😊

Team Relic!

I’ve previously shied away from giving them any specific identifying features because I am frankly terrified of unique character design (I’ve never been particularly good at it tbh…I always draw a blank on what I could include that wouldn’t be terribly cliche…all my OCs weep bc of this lol), but I decided to try my hand at it.

Eliana as an Eevee is taller than average, perhaps the greatest indicator of her physical age despite being a first form Pokémon (still tiny tho). Her paws are a darker shade of brown, similar to the tone in the inside of her ears, and instead of having a somewhat coarse, stiff, straight fur like most Eevee, hers is smoother, silkier, and almost curly (to reflect the texture of her hair as a human more closely). Her fur is also a tad longer, so some of these errant cowlicks are visible. She wears the knot of her scarf in the front sometimes because she does (thankfully) have enough dexterity to tie it on her own, but it takes her a while. Most of the time Lu does it for her.

[Lu develops a habit of either smoothing down said curls with his paws or introducing her to the concept of mutual grooming as a response to either of their occasional insomniac episodes or when one of them is anxious, but only in the privacy of their room. Otherwise, he keeps a paw between her shoulder blades under her ruff and strokes the fur under his pads as a self-soothing tactic, such as when running into Team Skull.]

As a Leafeon she grows extra lithe and lanky, so she has a bit of fawn clumsiness at first because she’d gotten so used to her shorter legs. Her nose scar from Grovyle is fully healed by this point, so it’s faded a bit, but she hadn’t been able to see the dead patch of skin where Dusknoir’s Ice Punch frostbit the flesh around her throat and rendered it hairless before, so she wears something over it almost all the time bc she hates the reminder.

[Later on she continues to wear it bc it distresses Dusknoir to see it a whole lot—it’s hard to coax him back from his guilty spirals, so she only goes “naked” when her things need to be washed after exploring.]

[She doesn’t even realize she has to allow herself time to photosynthesize a certain amount of time per day so the first week she couldn’t figure out why she felt so awful until Sunflora pointed out that her ears and tail looked a bit wilted. Sun baths and afternoon naps become a main stay after that point, although Lu does have to occasionally remind her when she starts to feel down without realizing she’d forgotten to do so.]

[She feels a little naked without her ruff because she’d grown the habit of tucking her chin/mouth into it when stressed out, so when she swaps her Guild scarf for a Virid Collar, she’s grateful to have the extra fabric to nuzzle into when she’s overwhelmed.]

[She can also contort into the oddest shapes to sleep. Lu can’t understand it, but it’s because she and Treecko would often have to wedge themselves into crevices and cracks to rest.]

Lu is pretty much your run-of-the-mill Riolu, although he’s a little slimmer and taller with a bit of a longer narrower snout.

However, when he evolves into Lucario, he fleshes out and gets a bit bulkier after all the exploring they’ve done. His chest spike is broken in an accident, and he develops early gray hair along his muzzle (losing your best friend prematurely to sudden vaporization will certainly affect your stress toleration in the long run huh).

[His fur thickens up in the winter and he’s the best to snuggle with, but given the fact that Treasure Town is coastal it rarely actually gets cold enough to last the whole night without having to peel yourself away for a chance to breathe.]

Let me know if there are any other details or questions you wonder about :)

[myshredda]

There's three of them! and i said i wasn't going to get invested in this but now i am so here are some headcanons:

pink kills the bugs when it's just the three of them. she's brave like that

yellow and pink have ratty hair; it's always a mess. green doesn't know why it's so hard to brush ur hair everyday and is generally confused why they don't

pink wants hair like Ariel form the little mermaid tho, all poofy and floaty. sometimes she tries but she doesn't take good enough care of it bc there's just so much. despite what green says, it takes longer than five minutes to style her hair lol

several brushes have been stuck/broken while trying to detangle her hair so the adults have kind've given up on it

occasionally red or duck will try to preen her but they give up after ten minutes like "yeah, that's as good as that's ever going to get"

idk if you've seen wwdits but pink is like baby colin robinson, just hammering holes in the wall as soon as no one's watching

red and duck went on a really quick tesco run once and thought they would be fast enough to leave the kids at home and... they were wrong. she had knocked a good chunk of the living room wall out and cheerily explained that she was building her own room bc she was tired of living w "smelly boys"

red tried to stay as calm as he could given the circumstances and explain why she can't just knock walls out (but internally he was screaming). Duck just went ballistic

yellow and green got in trouble too bc they knew what she was doing and didn't try to stop her at all. their reasoning was they didn't want to share a room with her either, she snored too loud

ofc it was all ok in the end, but that was not a good day for anybody

in my mind, pink is like marie from the aristocats, "Ladies don't start fights but they can finish them!" or Mouthface from the trail to oregon musical, "I get a turn with the gun first! I have bloodlust *does cute little pose*".

she favors red just bc he was so nice to her at the beginning but she does have duck's violent streak

shes the only one that has teeth besides red so her bites hurt

she has a hard time differentiating between the types of love, romantic, platonic, and familial, and misreads social cues a lot bc of it. she's getting better but at the beginning it was really bad

she would mistake basic kindness/familial love for romantic love and then get really upset when it turned out just bc duck made her favorite food or yellow shared his toys doesn't mean they want to marry her

it took a long time for her to find value in herself outside of her relationships w others

her and yellow are the chaos crew. they're the kids that will put a big ugly toad on the kitchen table and beg to keep it as a pet. green swears up and down that he told them it was a bad idea but really he was just as excited as them

also ducks delighted to have another person to feed. he gets to cook more, make more types of food, and get the satisfaction of watching them fill out to a healthier shape

it is very hilarious to me that you started out that first ask with 'idk if i'll get very deep into this' and my response was 'oh you might not, but I certainly fucking will' and then my life spiraled out of control forever <3 Thank you for giving me the opportunity to go on a 1.2k rant about a literal one off character and give her trauma and then attempt to heal said trauma I made up for her <3 <3 <3 Love all the bits about her hair being messy because she's 100% forget to brush it now because she has STUFF TO DO and NATURE TO EXPLORE and FORTS TO BUILD and brushing her hair is boring and she doesn't want to do that 💗I think Duck would take preening her as a personal challenge and on nights where she's really sleepy and lazy and just wants to watch TV she'll let him work at it for a while and he's having the time of his life while working at her rats nest because grooming the people he loves is his biggest love language.

Yes to her knocking holes in the wall (I'm vaguely aware of baby Colin from wwdits ((I think him and Nadja's soul that's trapped in a doll are friends which is cute!))) Yes to her attempting to build a new room and knocking out half a fucking wall, yes to Red trying to gentle parent while Duck's just making a high-pitched noise of absolute horror in the background (which Pink fully ignores) Green and Yellow are like doing the innocent BUT WE DIDN'T DO ANYTHING routine but Duck is NOT having it (they've lived with them enough to know better by now!) and it's kind of sucky but it's really a good opportunity for Red and Duck to enforce rules and boundaries in a healthy way that the kid's aren't used to bc 'punishment' for them in their past was violent and traumatic.

Love the idea of Pink and Red bonding bc they have teeth. Duck's like I HAVE TEETH SOMETIMES (which he did! when he was having his organs removed!) and bonds with Pink over biting people because they both like to do that 💗

Yeah at first she has a REALLY hard time with love bc in the cult there was only ONE type of love and everything fell under that umbrella (not that it was real love obviously) and Red and Duck have to explain to her over and over that No she doesn't have to marry them for them to love her and it upsets her a little because she feels like she's doing something bad bc experiencing love outside of marriage is a big no-no in Shrignold's eyes (as he told Yellow when he introduced Pink as special one in the first place!) so it's a really long process of them being gentle with her and her being uncomfortable with it but eventually they get there.

Her and Yellow have ZERO control of their impulses for different reasons but they band together and make messes wherever they go and Green watches in amusement because he thinks its good scientific research to watch them go fucking ham

Speaking of ham Duck is like fully gone Barefoot Contessa and just COOKS and cooks and cooks and makes way too much food and pushes leftovers and helps Pink realize that she doesn't have to be skinny to be feminine and she can eat whatever she feels like and doesn't have to eat less than the boys just because she's a girl and she doesn't have to help cook because she's a girl but because it's a good life-skill that everyone should know how to do and she doesn't have to help cook for the others if she doesn't want to

[nhinxsworld]

I love pet play so here is me doing pet play scenrios ♡♡♡♡ just some thoughts what pet i think they would have and what they'd do uwu

my list!

Characters: Gojo Satoru x reader ; Megumi Fushiguro x reader ; Toji Fushiguro x reader ; Naoya Zenin x reader and Itadori Yuji x reader

warning: nsfw ; petplay ; dom/sub ; humiliation ; dumbification and idk???

Gojo Satoru

He peaks as the soft/slutty bunny type of guy or a cunning fox

Honestly his white hair just gives me snow bunny vibes, but any kind of bunny would be cool with him.

On one side he likes to corrupt the innocent looking ones, cute little bunnies who get feral horny with him. Pretty costumized bunny ears for his pet, he can afford it. Pretty pillow princesses he fucks stupid, in any position, but it's a plus if he can see that soft pretty tail.

Or maybe just the classic playboy bunny type, model body. Curvy, pretty ones, the nice lips, nice everything with those skin tight skimpy bunny suits. Fishnet or nylon doesn't matter, he'll rip them apart, he loves that clean sexy look, before he messes everything up.

Why fox? He just peaks me as somewhat you know special out of the usual. Foxes are rather rare for pet play since they aren't the average pet either. Though I can imagine a pretty fox, who would tease him back and is playful would keep him interested. He just might put a collar on you and tugs you around for the fun of it.

He thrives at any title master??? fuck yes baby push his ego. Sir??? hell yeah push his authority might as well call him sensei. daddy?? sure as classic he'll call you little one and other sweet nicknames

Really depends on his mood that day or what you'd want him to do, he can do anything, if you're a good pet for him he'll praise you, if you want to be degraded sure he'll call you his slut and spits on your face.

You just want to fuck ? Sure, he'll fuck you stupid and breeds your bunny/fox hole/cunt. You want him to actually treat you like a pet?? Yeah sure he'll put down a water bowl and all that shit down for you to use, he'll give you hella foreplay.

jokes about animal abuse in the end lol

Megumi Fushiguro

He is my baby, but if I had to pick for him? I'd just say puppy's. Megumi is a confirmed dog person, so yep I think he'd like obedient puppy's. Probably blushes when you put on the ears and the tail, at first he was like nah he isn't into it, but now it gets his dick hard.

He is very soft and sweet, so I can imagine that he'd get along with a playful and obedient puppy's. Loves it when the soft fur of your tail brushes against his skin and how the cute puppy ears peak through your hair. He'll praise you and would call you his good pet as he fucks on all fours. Probably wouldn't tug too much on your collar and leash, it just looks pretty on you.

Would get so flustered at the beginning if you want to call him titles, even if his name is girly, he'd probably still likes the intimacy when you call him by his name between titles.

probably thinks it's a bit weird at first, but you can ease him into it, and he'll tell you what he likes or and what he doesn't like

Toji Fushiguro

I'd just like to think the bias towards dogs runs in the family if not I think he's just the basic cat type same shit but calls you kitty

unlike Megumi, Toji isn't soft. He probably wouldn't care if you'd wear gear or not, actually he might tease and bully you, if you want to wear pretty puppy ears and a tail. Would call you slutty and weird, but he'd still fuck you. He is probably older so he'd just might call you childish and the whole 'You want to be a what kid??' Other than that he wouldn't always call you a good puppy, he'd call you his dumb fucking mutt. Just lives to degrade you and call you stupid. If you want to wear a collar and leash he'll fucking yank you with it, piss him off, and he will choke you with it.

He will literally choke you when you call him daddy. It's unknown of whether he likes or he hates it, he'd just allow it. Sir might be too formal for him a lot of people call him that probably since he is a bit older and works at weird places where he doesn't give his name often. Probably doesn't like master as it might be too touchy towards his family issues back when he was a Zenin.

If it's the cat type he probably is an absolute brat tamer, if you're an egoistic little kitty you're fucked. Get down on your knees for him, he'll fuck your throat until you cry. Be a good kitty for daddy, milk him. Behave and he just might help your little drenching pussy out.

He is just here to fuck, but he would humor you a bit with dirty talk, if you do well, and he likes you. Otherwise nah he wouldn't really go deep into petplay. He is an adult man who was married to what it seems a very normal women so he probably doesn't want to do something super wild or new.

Naoya Zenin

hmmmm I think it's a bit difficult because one dogs are obedient, but they're also often considered dirty mutts I feel like he'd rather like something expensive like one of those white beautiful fur blue eye cats (lmaoo gojo) though cats are seen as arrogant, and he wants his to submit to him fully

probably looks and acting wise he'd like cats but he'd go for dogs too

He just seems like the type to degrade you, and it's easier to insult a dog than a cat y'know?

LMAOO FORGET THE GEAR WITH HIM you won't ever get to ask him to put on ears. He is a traditional man, the max he'd put on you is a collar. I just don't see him wanting to take you on your suggestions and I don't see him suggesting it himself.

If you're very, very, very well-behaved he just might call you a good dog. Yep, don't expect him to call you something cute like puppy. Probably the type to not let you wear any clothes, but your collar. Makes you crawl around with a leash attached, he wants to see you suffer, he wants to dehumanize you. He fucking owns you, he does whatever he wants with you. You're here for his pleasure not yours and he gets off to you being embarrassed and humiliated.

Bark back and he'll put a muzzle on you.

Don't even hesitate to lick the floor he walks on, don't look at him, when he doesn't allow it. He will punish you upon misbehaving and his punishments are real torture.

With him, you need to be well-trained and groomed, a dirty disobedient pet isn't going to stay anywhere near him. Be a good pet, and he just might let you sleep next to his bed, if you do very well and present yourself well in front of his family he just might treat you well and allow you to sleep on the bed.

This isn't pet-play to him he is just an asshole. If he makes you eat face first from a bowl like a dog, he does it to humiliate and laugh at you. Calls you pathetic.

Yuji Itadori

lmaooo its said he is mixed between dogs and cats, but I think he'd have a cat lean when it comes to pet-play

it's just the whole catgirl/catboy/catenby on the internet for him, he thinks cat ears are cute

would totally be exited if you wanted to wear cat ears and tail, he'd just be fascinated about them for while, thinks it's super cute nothing weird at all

hell he'd love it if you wore the cat ears outside bedroom activities too

Would coo and praise you, goes pspsp and all the shit like you're a real cat

wholesome sex but would get horny af if you meow while he pounds you

absolutely mad horny when your collar jingles around while he fucks you, it's too cute

Thinks it's super fucking cute would totally be intrested to look further for fun, probably would platonically treat you as a pet too. Calls you kitty outside the bedroom.

Neck scratches !!

Calls you his pretty kitty, would be down to do anything.

He is your biggest simp :)

[luvnami]

𝐜𝐚𝐭 𝐭𝐨𝐰𝐞𝐫𝐬!

𝐚𝐮𝐭𝐡𝐨𝐫'𝐬 𝐧𝐨𝐭𝐞 - aa my first time writing for kny!! i hope you like it~ the title is a play on the word ‘pillars’ lol hopefully that makes sense... enjoy!! likes, comments and reblogs really help me a lot <3

𝐛𝐞𝐭𝐚 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫 - @/amjustagirl​ (muacks)

𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐧𝐭 𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠 - mention of food

𝐬𝐲𝐧𝐨𝐩𝐬𝐢𝐬 - what if the pillars were... cats?

𝐡𝐢𝐦𝐞𝐣𝐢𝐦𝐚 𝐠𝐲𝐨𝐦𝐞𝐢

- the CHONKIEST fella you’ve ever seen in your entire life

- seriously, this cat feels like a brick when you try to pick him up

- yes, his fur is dense. no, he does not get any skinnier when he’s matted down with water

- a lovely, calm cat abandoned by his previous owners because they were moving out of the country

- he loves lazing in the sun and his brown fur turns golden in it!!!

- is a lap cat but doesn’t understand that your legs turn numb way too fast when he’s purring away like a little truck motor 

- (his purrs are so deep……. put him on an asmr youtube channel already!!!!)

- once, you had a dream that you were drowning. you found him sleeping on your chest when you woke up gasping for air

- broke a flimsy cat tree once and is now terrified of heights 

- a big baby :( kind of needy, always welcomes you at the door when you come home with chirps and gets frisky when you don’t return till late

𝐢𝐠𝐮𝐫𝐨 𝐨𝐛𝐚𝐧𝐚𝐢

- …

- the quiet cat that seems like it might murder you in your sleep

- you adopted him together with kanroji because he simply wouldn’t leave her side and wouldn’t leave your side so… yeah

- this cat HATED you at first

- like… he even refused to eat the food that you tried to give him :/// you had to lure him out with some churu 

- you once woke up in the middle of the night because you were thirsty and found two glowy things at your bedroom door

- yeah, he was staring at you while you slept

- you didn’t dare to get a glass of water and just went back to sleep

- dark gray short fur with heterochromia! you think that he might be kanroji’s sibling but the centre said that they came in at different times

- he goes crazy for catnip oh my goodness

- he rolls himself in it and purrs so LOUD……….. ok iguro……..

𝐤𝐚𝐧𝐫𝐨𝐣𝐢 𝐦𝐢𝐭𝐬𝐮𝐫𝐢

- so! affectionate!

- you adopted her from a local centre… seriously, who abandoned this pretty baby!!!!!!!

- (iguro insisted on being adopted as well. they come in a pair, do not separate.)

- is a white short fur with heterochromia <333 she looks so magical omg

- when you visited the adoption centre, she wouldn’t stop meowing and curling herself around your legs

- how could you not take her home!!!!!

- she tries to steal all kinds of food (even yours). please don’t own any plants, she will try to chomp them as well

- one time you came back home and heard some loud rustling from the door. you were terrified that it was a thief but when you switched on the lights, the cat had somehow managed to raid your pantry :/

- loves loves loves cuddles!! will even let you touch her soft tummy and play with her toe beans (only for a while though!)

- you wish she’d stop jumping around and getting into the hardest to reach spots…….

- loves trying out new collars, toys and even outfits!

- grooms iguro a lot and loves playing with him <3

𝐤𝐨𝐜𝐡𝐨 𝐬𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐨𝐛𝐮

- y’all know the cats that play nice when you’re petting them and then bite your hand immediately after… yeah

- the childhood cat that gives you trauma after it scratched you one too many times

- but very lovable and social!! loves meeting new people and then giving you a smug look as she crawls into their lap

- is not tempted by treats… she will do a trick when she wants to

- siamese, brown to white with a tail that flicks too much when she’s irritated

- this cat pushes your glass of water off of the table while looking you in the eye

- will lay herself over your keyboard when you’re trying to work

- has and will chew up your socks again

- scratches your furniture even after you sprayed it with that ‘no-scratch’ spray

- HOWEVER she will occasionally let you scritch her chin when she feels amiable…….

- tries to groom you sometimes

- jumps around too much for her (and your) own good. has caused the shattering of many things and now you cannot place fragile objects on shelves

𝐫𝐞𝐧𝐠𝐨𝐤𝐮 𝐤𝐲𝐨𝐣𝐮𝐫𝐨

- the most!! active and happy tabby cat you’ve ever seen!!!!! 

- meow! meow meow meow!

- man i have no idea what you’re saying rengoku but you look happy and adorable so have a treat

- probably a family cat that your dad brought back home (much to mom’s dismay) but he’s part of the family now

- VERY vocal at night no matter how much you try to tire him out in the day… rip 

- will wake you up because! human! it is night time and my water bowl is an inch out of place!

- has the most gorgeous coat ever… really. it’s an envy for many cat owners

- he struts around with his head in the air and demands many pets from you while yowling and pawing your leg

- loves outdoor walks, actually. will attack a dog on sight if given the chance so please keep him on a leash

- give him little booties to keep his paws clean!!!!!!!! he fell over the first time you put them on but now he’s used to it and he looks so cute omg

- very nurturing!! takes to other cats very easily and is a joy to have around if you’re fostering other animals (besides dogs)

𝐬𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐚𝐳𝐮𝐠𝐚𝐰𝐚 𝐬𝐚𝐧���𝐦𝐢

- this bastard cat

- hisses if you pat him for too long

- hisses if you don’t give him attention

- hisses while you’re pouring out his food and will NOT hesitate to bite you

- if you touch his paw pads, you can goodbye to your fingers

- i’m thinking……. gray shorthair with green eyes!

- probably a stray cat that you took in (which came with a lot of coaxing, snacks and wrangling) who got into one too many fights 

- he took a while to get used to staying indoors, often hiding in obscure places and was oddly possessive of your sofa

- no, he did not let you sit on it for a whole month

- he’s very protective and territorial! when he’s feeling like it, he’ll rub against you and get into your closet to curl up and scent your clothes (getting fur all over them)

- once, when you had some friends over, you had to lock him in your bedroom because he wouldn’t stop snarling at them

- no one dares to come over to your place after that

- (he’s secretly addicted to butt pats)

𝐭𝐨𝐤𝐢𝐭𝐨 𝐦𝐮𝐢𝐜𝐡𝐢𝐫𝐨

- black shorthair that literally appeared in your house one day

- you have no idea where he came from but you let him stay for a few days and he’s never left since then

- sometimes, he wanders outside (while chasing a butterfly or something...) but always comes back in time for dinner

- has the clearest emerald eyes!!

- he’s so quiet oh my goodness. you swear you’ve never heard him meow or chirp or purr once………. you think he might be a ghost cat sometimes 

- moves around silently too. has scared you on more than one occasion when you turned around and found him staring at you, or felt something furry brush against your leg while you weren’t expecting it

- doesn’t initiate affection much but will let you pet and smother him with love!! he kinda just… chills lol

- loves snuggling in the warmest places! sometimes you’ll come home and find a suspicious bump under your covers… lift it and you might find a friend within <3

- hates hate hates collars

- will literally bat at you if you ever try to put one on him

𝐭𝐨𝐦𝐢𝐨𝐤𝐚 𝐠𝐢𝐲𝐮

- loves water so much its crazy

- you have to lock your bathroom door because he’s somehow managed to figure out how to open the doors in your house

- like, he’ll actually jump into the shower with you 

- you brought him home one day when you found him as a kitten in the rain outside :c (ur the hot anime character now)

- he’s really quiet! rarely meows and prefers to headbutt you (which can be slightly inconvenient, like that one time you were pouring coffee and nearly scalded the both of you)

- his fur is always messy. sticks up everywhere no matter how much you try to brush it

- black fur of medium length and thickness!!! puffs up SO MUCH when winter comes though

- it’s insane, he looks like a ball of soot

- exceptionally fast. when you try to play fetch with him, all you’ll see is a black blur darting back and forth

- easily scared

- you have to be careful when rounding corners or petting him because if he doesn’t expect it he’ll jump like five feet in the air

𝐮𝐳𝐮𝐢 𝐭𝐞𝐧𝐠𝐞𝐧

- if you do not change his collars or outfits at least once a week or brush him daily he will start yowling

- you decided to adopt him after your neighbour moved to an apartment that didn’t allow cats

- unfortunately, your neighbour was also the most outrageously extravagant person you’ve ever met and spoiled uzui too much

- a good chunk of your monthly spending goes to the cat

- will not eat cheap cat food (how can he tell the difference…?)

- occasionally buries himself in the back of your closet because it’s dark and smells like you but please help me i’m entangled in a scarf and can’t get out!

- loves posing for photographs and being cooed over!! if you run an instagram account for him you’ll be sure to get popular really quickly

- he just… knows the camera is there lol

- hates having his nails clipped omg

- he will run around the house just to escape you and will only be bribed by a fancy new outfit or a churu

[inevitably-johnlocked]

Hi Steph! Hope you’re well :) Do you have a 5+1 rec list? It’s one of my all time favourite tropes and having just found a new one I wondered if you knew of any more? Sorry if you already have one linked somewhere, I’m still not very familiar with tumblr! (The new one I found is works/23857900/chapters/57342538 - sorry I’m not sure how to link properly on asks yet either! 😖

anonymous asked: What’s ur opinion on 5+1 fics?

Hi Lovelies!

Ahhh, sorry for the delay on this one!! I love 5 and Ones!! :D I’ve been tagging them since the beginning 3 years ago so I could more easily find them, just WAITING for people to ask, LOL. I read them a lot on FFNet (it was a BIG fad in the early noughts to have 5+1 fics, just like song fics were a 90′s thing lol)

So here y’all are, plus the one @johnlockedin221b suggested which I haven’t read yet! Please feel free to add your own here! 

I’ve also added some *CLOSE TO* five and ones, so like four and ones, I have a 7 times fic, and just one with 5 times. Hope y’all enjoy!

----

FIVE AND ONES (and SIMILAR FICS)

Once Upon A Time by ProfessorSquirrell (T, 908 w., 1 Ch. || Family, Snippets of Life, Romance, Sherlock’s Mind Palace, Implied Drug Use, Angst with Happy Ending) – There is a room in Sherlock's mind palace where nothing gets deleted. And it looks like this...

The Four Incidents by TheGirlWithRedHair22 (K+, 1,064 w., 1 Ch. || S1 Compliant, Hurt/Comfort, Romance, John Whump, Accident, John POV, Hand Holding, Worried Sherlock, Sherlock’s Self Esteem) – The first time John was present when someone insulted Sherlock, he brushed it off as a strange coincidence.

Five Times John Watson Remained Oblivious by thriceandonce (K+, 1,154 w., 1 Ch. || Five and Ones, Romance, Friendship, Asexual Sherlock, Queerplatonic Relationship) – ...And one time he didn't.

Five Times John Didn't Notice Sherlock (and one time he did) by somanyhands (T, 1,369 w., 6 Ch. || Friendship, Five and Ones, 221B Format Oneshots) – Five times out oblivious John Watson didn't notice Sherlock, and one time he really did. A short series of (five plus one) 221B fics, just because.

The 3x John Carried Sherlock, and Once ViceVersa by ShinkonoKokoro (K+, 1,673 w., 1 Ch. || Fluff, Friendship, Three and One, BAMF John, Sherlock Whump, Worried Sherlock, John Gets Shot) – It happens more than he suspects.

The Perfect Place by SilverSmile (K+, 1,955 w., 1 Ch. || Humour, Romance, 5 and Ones, Fluff, Experiments, Bed Sharing) – Sherlock attempts to find the perfect place to sleep, but his little experiment proves to be far more difficult than expected.

Like Euphoria and Scotch by FinAmour (M, 1,856 w., 1 Ch. || TSo3 Fix It, Five and One, Alchohol / Drinking, POV Second Person Sherlock, Pining Sherlock, Sherlock’s Imagination, Armchair Sex, Cracky and Fluff, Happy Ending) – 5 different ways it all could have gone + the one way it actually works itself out.

Five Times Sherlock gave John a Pebble and One Time John Returned the Gesture by grimmfairy (NR, 1,895 w., 1 Ch. || Love Confessions, Fluff, Penguins and Pebbles, Nervous / Pining Sherlock, Oblivious John) – Sherlock isn't good with words, so he decides to tell John his feelings the way penguins do, by bringing him pebbles with different meanings. John catches on.

The Perfect Place by SilverSmile (K+, 1,955 w., 1 Ch. || Humour, Romance, 5 and Ones, Fluff, Experiments, Bed Sharing) – Sherlock attempts to find the perfect place to sleep, but his little experiment proves to be far more difficult than expected.

Five Times Sherlock Realized He Was Getting Older by Mildred Graves (T, 9,215 w., 6 Ch. || Five and Ones, Friendship, Hurt/Comfort, Getting Old) – . . . And one time it didn't matter.

It Was All Right There In Front of Him (A Five Times Plus One Story) by bees_stories (T, 3,191 w., 1 Ch. || 5+1, Protective Idiots, Grooming, Bed Sharing, Lestrade POV) – DI Greg Lestrade is a good detective. But sometimes he doesn't trust the evidence in front of him, until there's a compelling reason to do so.

Wish I Was In Heaven Sitting Down by standbygo (M, 3,282 w. || Post-S4, Five Plus One, Missing Scenes, Parenthood, First Kiss, Friends to Lovers, Cuddling & Snuggling, Hurt/Comfort, Declarations of Love, Fluff, Food, John Whump) – Five times when Sherlock and John ate together, and one time they didn't. A history of the boys, in food.

Atrium by kali_asleep (T, 3,460 w., 1 Ch. || 5+1, Valentines Day, Fluff & Schmoop, First Kiss) – Five times Sherlock gave John his heart, and the one time Sherlock got a heart in return (literally)

Because Your Coat is Part of You by camellialice (K, 3,705 w., 1 Ch. || 5 and 1, Canon Compliant, Sherlock’s Coat, Angst, Fluff) – Five times John wore Sherlock's coat and one time he didn't need to.

Five Times John Cooked Something with Peas and One First Kiss by 221b_careful_what_you_wish_for (T, 3,915 w., 1 Ch. || 5 and Ones, Friends to Lovers, Mutual Pining, Cooking / Food, Sick Sherlock, Music, Domestic Fluff, First Kiss) – After John cooks five dinners that slowly reveal their hunger for each other, Sherlock and John finally share a first kiss.

Human Body Pillow by Lunavere (K, 4,122 w., 1 Ch. || Hurt/Comfort, Friendship, Five and Ones, Sleepy Johnlock, Bed Sharing) – A story about the five times John fell asleep on Sherlock, and the one time Sherlock fell asleep on him.

What John Doesn't Know (Won't Hurt Him) by blueink3 (NR [T], 4,392 w., 1 Ch, || S3 Fix It, Pining Sherlock, Snippets of Life, Hurt/Comfort, Scars, Fluff and Angst, Five and One, Hopeful Ending, POV Sherlock) – Five people who see Sherlock's scars before John Watson. But Sherlock's secrets were never something he could keep from his blogger for long.

Carry On by Mazarin221b (M, 4,647 w., 1 Ch. || 5 and Ones, H/C, Afghanistan, Frottage, Hand Jobs, First Time) – Five times John didn't want to be carried, and one time he did.

Bed-Sharing Between Flatmates by testosterone_tea (T, 5,053 w., 1 Ch. || 5 and Ones, Bed Sharing, PTSD John, Science, Whump, Insecure Sherlock) – 5 times Sherlock had an excuse to share John's bed, and the one time he didn't need one.

Storytelling by amythedork (T, 5,126 w., 1 Ch. || John’s Past, Friendship, Humour) – Five times John Watson opens up to Sherlock Holmes, and one time Sherlock Holmes opens up to John Watson. Gen, though could easily be read as pre-slash.

Sociopathy and Other Fibs by kinklock (M, 5,314 w., 1 Ch. || 5+1, Miscommunication, Humour, Friends to Lovers, Post S3, Love Confessions) – Five times John called Sherlock out, and one time Sherlock returned the favour.

five times sherlock holmes lied to john watson (and one time he finally told the truth) by miss_frankenstein (G, 5,948 w., 1 Ch. || TAB Compliant || Homophobia, Pining Sherlock, Oscar Wilde Trials, Happy Ending) – Set in "The Abominable Bride" universe, this piece adopts a familiar format to chronicle Sherlock's quiet suffering in the wake of the 1895 Oscar Wilde trials and the particular way they affect his relationship with (and feelings for) John.

Five Times John Noticed But Didn't Really by ScandalousMinds (T, 6,383 w., 5 Ch. || Domestics, Fluff/Angst, Bratty Sherlock, Idiots, Pre-Slash, Jealous Sherlock, Love Confessions) – 5 times John (thought) he noticed something peculiar about his and Sherlock's relationship but really missed the obvious.

once upon a time by darcylindbergh (M, 6,501 w., 6 Ch. || Fluff and Angst, First Kiss / Time, Love Declarations, Christmas) – It starts with a wish. In the beginning, John comes home. Part 1 of things fairy tales are made of

Five Times by AliuIce0814 (T, 6,667 w., 6 Ch. || Drama, Canon-Compliant S1 & 2, Angst, 5 and Ones, Reunion) – ... Sherlock woke John, and one time John woke Sherlock.

Six Dates by avawtsn (E, 7,421 w., 2 Ch. || 5+1, First Time / Kiss, Post S4-Compliant, POV John) – A rather accidental 5+1 written for the prompt "is this a date?" Hint: it is.

Galapogos by anchors (E, 8,460 w., 1 Ch. || Hurt/Comfort, Angst, 5 and 1, John Whump) – Somewhere in the depths of the universe, and somewhere in the middle of Sherlock's chest, a star goes into supernova.

All the Times Something ALMOST Happened by allonsys_girl (T, 9,049 w., 6 Ch. || POV Sherlock, Pining Sherlock, Canon Compliant, Angst, Friendship/Love, UST) – John and Sherlock dancing around what they dance around in canon.

Illogical, even. by magikspell (E, 9,119 w., 1 Ch. || Grey-Ace Sherlock, Character Study, Growing Up, Victor Trevor, Romance, First Time/Kiss, Sherlock-centric) – Five reasons Sherlock never believed in love and one reason he does now.

A Different Kind of Love by Svenja The Strange (T, 12,357 w., 6 Ch. || Fluff, Humour, Romance, Five and One) –  The five times people noticed and the one time John did. A collection of oneshots (some short, some longer) raising the issue of Johns endless dilemma of being deemed for Sherlock’s boyfriend.

A Study in Linguistics by rizandace (T, 12,425 w., 1 Ch. || S1 Canon Compliant/S2 Divergence, Friendship, Slices of Life, Communication, Cranky Sherlock, Hospitals, Sherlock Whump, Pet Cat, Jealous John, Sherlock’s Violin, Anxious Sherlock, John Whump) – Sherlock Holmes and John Watson had their own language. It was a language of few words and minute facial expressions, and John had learned that it was nearly the only way to have an honest conversation with his eccentric flat mate.

First Response by Arwen Jade Kenobi (T, 13,516 w., 8 Ch. || Hurt/Comfort, Friendship, Five and Ones, Whump / Injury) – Five times John had to perform first aid on Sherlock and one time Sherlock had to perform it on John.

Never-Ending Cycle by orphan_account (T, 17,211 w., 1 Ch. || Christmas, Est. Rel., Proposal, Fluff) – Or, four times Sherlock Holmes attempted to propose to John Watson, and the Christmas Party at which he finally did. Sherlock thinks he's a miserable failure, John is confused, Mrs. Hudson and Lestrade provide some unsatisfactory advice, and Mummy is, as always, the solution. All in a lovely, fluffy holiday theme.

Just a Kiss by emmagrant01 (E, 19,695 w., 7 Ch. || 5+1, Case Fic) – Five times John and Sherlock kissed because of a case and one time they kissed for real.

EMERGENCY CONTACT: Sherlock Holmes, RELATIONSHIP: n/a by blueink3 (M, 5,533 w., 1 Ch. || Hurt John / John Whump, Five and One, Fluff & Angst, Worried Sherlock) – The first time John Watson’s emergency contact is called is the first time Sherlock Holmes finds out that he has the job. Part 1 of The Emergency Contact Series

EMERGENCY CONTACT: John Watson, RELATIONSHIP: Saint by blueink3 (M, 6,229 w., 1 Ch. || Hurt Sherlock, 5+1, Hurt / Comfort, Caring John, Scars) – The first time Sherlock Holmes realizes he needs an emergency contact is the first time he mentally appoints John Watson with the job. John, of course, does not know this and neither does the local hospital. Part 2 of The Emergency Contact Series

Caught In The Act by ShirleyCarlton (E, 7,009 w. across 6 stories || Est. Rel, Voyeurism, Character POV’s, Masturbation, Switchlock) – This is a series of six scenarios written from the points of view of six different people as they accidentally walk in on Sherlock and John having sex.

Five Times Sherlock Realized He Was Getting Older by Mildred Graves (T, 9,215 w., 6 Ch. || Five and Ones, Friendship, Hurt/Comfort, Getting Old) – . . . And one time it didn't matter.

The Five Stages of Mourning, Plus One by SunnyRea (T, 10,557 w., 1 Ch. || MCD, Pining / Grieving Sherlock, URT, Heavy Angst, Sherlock’s Mind Palace, Drug Use, Graphic Death, Depression, Unhappy Ending) – Sherlock did not want this, did not want another stalemate with John in the middle, a gun in Jim's hand. This cannot have happened without a sign. There has to be something he missed anything which said today is the day I kill for real.

About Sleep and Coffee and the Existence of Fate by Atiki (E, 17,426 w., 6 Ch. || Fluff, Marriage Proposal, Humour, 5+1) – Naturally, John was startled when suddenly the ultimate solution occurred to him: Marriage. This was, of course, a bit of a fundamental problem rather than an actual solution. One didn't simply use the words “Sherlock” and “marriage” within the same sentence. Not even in a hypothetical context. Five times John kind of wanted to propose to Sherlock, and one time he didn’t have to.

Just a Kiss by emmagrant01 (E, 19,695 w., 7 Ch. || 5+1, Case Fic, Kisses) – Five times John and Sherlock kissed because of a case and one time they kissed for real.

5 Times John Got the Girl (and lost her) and 1 Time John Got the Guy (and kept him) by LiviKate (M, 21,695 w., 6 Ch. || 5 and Ones, Kissing, Oblivious / Awkward Sherlock, BAMF / Sexy / Stud John, Embarrassed John, John’s Scar, Hurt/Comfort, Jealous Sherlock) – John has always had good luck with the ladies. He's charming, friendly and funny, not to mention great in bed. However, his usual skill with the opposite sex is constantly being thwarted by Sherlock and his outbursts. How will John ever get a leg over when Sherlock is always cockblocking him?

Five Times: Watching and Waiting by Ira Lea (K+, 23,034 w., 13 Ch. || Friendship, Post-TRF, No Slash) – Five times Sherlock didn't know John was watching, and one time he made sure of it. Five times John didn't know Sherlock was watching, and one time he figured it out. Three years of "he's dead", one moment of "he's alive", and the resulting chase through the streets of London. (Two 5:1s in quick succession and a bonus).

And A Doctor by StillWaters1 (T, 27,393 w., 6 Ch. || Friendship, Doctor John, Whump, Soldier / Doctor Dichotomy, Five and One) – It was only when people actually saw John working as a physician that they began to understand: that it wasn't just about bullets and IEDs and trauma care under fire. That "doctor" actually covered a pretty wide field. And that John was bloody good at covering ground. 5 times Dr. Watson treated others and 1 time he treated himself.

Five Times They Kissed for a Case, and One Time They Kissed for Real by fleetwood_mouse (M, 32,406 w., 6 Ch. || 5+1, Slow Burn, Fluff / Angst, Mutual Pining, Friends to Lovers) – A stolen ring! An artful blogger! And many more adventures for your enjoyment.

The Case of the Vanishing Pants by SwissMiss (E, 44,025 w., 6 Ch. || Five and Ones, Post-TRF, Case Fic, UST, Homophobia, Friends to Lovers, Pining John, Showering Together, Couple for a Case, Sherlock’s Bum, Fantasies, Jealous Sherlock) – Five times John and Sherlock lost their pants in the course of a case.

MARKED FOR LATER

Five Times Sherlock and John Had Realistic Sex and One Time They Didn't by pennydreadful (E, 1,811 w., 1 Ch. || Five and One, Anal/Oral, Finger Fucking, Hand Jobs) – Reality is a bitch.

A Study in Night Terrors by Dovahlock221 (T, 2,811 w., 1 Ch. || 5 and Ones, Night Terrors, (Emotional) Hurt/Comfort, PTSD Sherlock, Worried John, Hurt John, Angst with Happy Ending) – Five times Sherlock suffered from night terrors and the one time he had the best dream of his life.

What Every Step Is For by Anyawen (G, 2,921 w., 1 Ch. || Five and One, Bedsharing, Injury, Illness, Cold, Lack of Beds, Fake Relationship, Fluff) – Five times bedsharing occurred due to circumstance, and one time it happened by invitation.

5 Times John Almost Told Sherlock He Loved Him, and 1 Time He Did by wanderlustmind (T, 3,006 w., 1 Ch. || 5 and Ones, Additional Tags to be added) – As adorable as a box of puppies, I promise.

The Fundamental Things Apply by Raina_at (M, 6,263 w., 1 Ch. || Five and One, Kissing) – "Kisses that are easily obtained are easily forgotten." - Proverb

Five Times Sherlock Fell Asleep in John's Arms by Accident and the One Time He Did It – Accidentally – on Purpose by WillowGrove (T, 7,201 w., 6 Ch, || Five and One, Falling Asleep, Cuddling & Snuggling, Texting, Tea, First Kiss, Dreams, Fever, Comfort, Caretaker John, Love, Humour, Fluff) – Sherlock notices that John keeps cuddling him to sleep and he rather likes it. But then John stops, and Sherlock has to result to schemes to make it happen again. Who falls asleep, who wakes up in who’s arms, and – most importantly – will there be a kiss in the end?

Dinner Conversations, a 5+1 by BakerTumblings (G, 7,559 w., 1 Ch. || Post S4, Blended Families, Parentlock, Dinner Conversations, Established Relationship, Family Adventures, Five and Ones) – Five times that John had something to say at or about dinnertime, and one time where John was requested to listen. Part 8 of Eyes Wide Open

The Refractive Index by NoStraightLine (E, 10,395 w., 6 Ch. || Five and Ones, BAMF John, Crossdressing, Sherlock is Shot, Oral Fixation, First Time, Hurt/Comfort) – Five times John and Sherlock fuck in a bolt-hole, and one time they don't.

Five Christmases that went wrong and one that didn't by love_in_mind_palace (M, 11,685 w., 6 Ch. || Christmas, Fluff & Smut, Domestics, Est. Rel., 5 and 1′s, Canon Divergence, Tooth-Rotting Fluff) – John isn’t sure about most of the things in his life. Except for the fact that he loves Sherlock, Sherlock loves him back and that after years of bad luck, he is getting the Christmas he always deserved.

In Plain Sight by SilentAuror (E, 18,100 w., 1 Ch. || Post-HLV, 5 and Ones, POV Sherlock, Sex on Trains, Sex During Investigations, Sex in Offices, Unspoken Feelings, Anal, Slight Medical Kink, Public Sex Kink) – Five times that Sherlock and John have sex of some kind without talking about it and one time when they do. Part 1 of the Public Sex Kink

Just Dance by 7PercentSolution (M, 22,784 w., 6 Ch. || Four and One, For a Case, Drug Use, Abusive Boss, Ballroom Dancing, Sherlock Loves Dancing, Blackmail, Unrequited Love, Courtship) – Four dances that Sherlock taught Janine — and one he didn’t. Never mind if it leads him into dangerous territory; how could Sherlock resist a case from Lady Smallwood that lets him use his dancing skills? This is a gift work to Silvergirl, who is an inspiration to us all.

5 times Sherlock got (a) dressed like a woman, plus 1 he did not by Nauss (M, 25,719 w., 6 Ch. || Friendship and Romance, 5 and Ones, French Language Fic) – Ton regard est baissé et ton attitude ne brille pas de son habituel éclat Je-sais-que-tu-considères-que-je-n'aurais-pas-dû-mais-la-science-John. À la place, il y a tous ces petits détails que je ne parviens pas à voir, alors je m'approche de ta silhouette enrobedechambrée. Puis je lève la main, bouche bée. - John rentre en avance du travail et tombe sur un imprévu sherlockien.

Exit- An Ex Files Special by 7PercentSolution (G, 27,148 w., 6 Ch. || Sherlock/Victor Trevor, Angst Like Whoa, TRF-Compliant, Multiple POV’s, Unrequited Love, Whump, TBI and Recovery, Heartbreak, Romance, PTSD, Grieving, Five and One) – The end (or not, as the case may be), covering The Fall and its aftermath. Can be considered both a conclusion to my Fallen Angel series and a coda to Extricate and The Ex. A five plus one.

under the burden of solitude by subtext-is-my-division (E, 27,947 w., 5 Ch. || S3/S4 Fix It/Post TLD, Angst, Grief/Mourning, First Kiss, Mentions of Rape, Hurt/Comfort, Pining Sherlock, Sherlock POV, Fantasies, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, Suicidal Thoughts Mentions, Five and Ones) – Five times they shared a bed platonically, and one time they didn't.

Caesura by emilycare (M, 36,608 w., 10 Ch. || Five and One, Mutual Pining, Love Confessions, Sherlock’s Violin, Friends to Lovers, Past Abuse, Past Drug Use, Angst with Happy Ending, Suicidal Thoughts, Oral Sex, Blow Jobs, Domestic Fluff, Soft Sherlock, Gay Sherlock, Bisexual John) – The violin is a retreat that eases the quiet of Sherlock Holmes' solitude. It also speaks for him when he cannot bridge the gaps his defenses create. Moments when music helps Sherlock reach out or let others in, like his stalwart flatmate and, in time, the doctor's daughter. Five times Sherlock Holmes played the violin, and one time he did not.

Magpies Series by 7PercentSolution (T, 218,813+ w. across 4 works || Series WIP || Post TRF, Drug Withdrawal, References to Torture, Confessions, Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Sick Fic, PTSD, Oblivious John) – The Magpies series covers the events of the broadcast series three and four, "translated" into my universe. I wrote a lot of it before the episodes were broadcast and made some of my themes into AU (such as the Holmes parents and the sibling). Darker, more intense and angsty than Game Theory and Fallen Angel, the Magpies stories show the effects of the hiatus on all concerned. When parts five to 8 are completed, the series will bring the Ford saga to a conclusion.

[bitter-sweet-coffee]

y'know this might be a weird thing to randomly post about on my sonic the hedgehog tumblr blog but fuck it, i gotta say some stuff about animals (mainly dogs because i have too many thoughts for one redundant post i should narrow in on a species)

i don't see this behaviour online but can people irl stop being gross about pet genitalia, especially dogs and stuff? like, do you think vets are pervs for touching your dog's genitals? no? okay so you can also touch them if it's for good reasons (not something sexual)

do you know how many weird looks i've gotten from people when i say i do all of george's grooming maintenance besides his full appointments? yeah, that includes touching gross stuff like his scabs, fecal residue, urine residue, paws, mouth, etc... because "wait you touch his butt? you touch where his balls used to be? that's kinda sus" DUDE HE'S MY DOG I GOTTA CLEAN HIM WTF??? like i'm not having a good time either trust me, he hates baths, but i'm going to ensure he's clean and healthy by checking his whole body for oddities especially as he gets older. this isn't weird, maybe i'm a bit extra because most people barely think about this stuff, but vet training and my love for animals means i'm gonna be extra (also he sleeps on my bed and frequently lays on my face or licks it when i'm unconscious: i can't prevent it these days but at least i can brush his teeth so i'm not THAT grossed out)

also, some animals (like aggressive large dog breeds) need desensitization training as they grow up. a black russian terrier i puppysat needed this treatment where you'd have to just touch him everywhere and if he's snappy with something like his paw or tail or genitals just desensitize him. no, not abuse and purposely torment an animal don't try to twist this into something negative, i mean condition these types of dogs when they're small so when they're 200+ pounds and have extremely dangerous biting power, they won't bite a kid's face off if they poke his butt or something. it doesn't matter if the kid's parents were neglectful or if the kid was in the wrong because if this turns into a legal battle, we all know the dog is gonna lose. sometimes this shit is a necessary precaution and when done correctly it can be so important for a dog's welfare

boots on dogs aren't just to be quirky. george wears rubber ballon-like boots not only to prevent matting/contamination when it's wet or snowy/icy outside but also for temperature reasons and salt especially. it's a fucking lifesaver, not animal abuse. same with his jackets because it's hard enough to walk him during a snowstorm: he won't shit if he's uncomfortable and that's not something either of us want to deal with. yes he has a few sweaters and a pajama but they're for short term special occasion use (and he really likes them lmao)

i think people should give their dogs vegetables more. safe ones, but it's good for them. george has allergies which means he's on a raw food diet (he gets raw duck twice a day) and in addition to his meals he likes snacks! yogurt treats, sliced veggies, some blueberries, etc etc and his dietary issues literally vanished. all those stupid kibble commercials about how "dogs crave real meat, give them that with these processed nuggets" piss me off like ITS CHEAPER (for where i live) TO JUST GET FROZEN PACKS OF MEAT??? i don't expect every dog (or cat) owner to invest time in this kind of diet for their pet but maybe they'd bite their paws and lick themselves less if they had some real food lol just sayin' and it can even limit your food waste to share some of this stuff with your pet! just make sure it's safe first

also, i sorta mentioned this before but check your damn pets. maybe not 500 times a day like i do (george has skin tags that burst sometimes it's not just my obsessive tendencies) but like how do you not see something is wrong??? if you see a lump or a cut or a bite or a bug or an irritated area or a knot DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT??? AT LEAST KEEP AN EYE ON IT??? idk it just seems weird to me when people are oblivious to their pet's health issues until it's serious

LAST THING BECAUSE I GOT BORED HALFWAY THROUGH WRITING THIS SINCE MY MEDS WORE OFF: brush your dog's fucking teeth. I DONT CARE IF THEY HATE IT BECAUSE IT'S GONNA PREVENT SO MANY POTENTIAL HEALTH THREATS AND ALSO SMALL DOGS LOSE THEIR TEETH FAST BUT IF YOU BRUSH YOU CAN DELAY THAT!!! george is 11 and has every single tooth because i brush them every week (i'd do it every day but look i don't want to die) and it does wonders. also his breath doesn't make me want to kill myself but this is also probably thanks to the cucumbers

ok that's all rant over sorry this wasn't organized i just kept saying shit lmao

[wondernimbus]

stressful times — fred weasley

pairing: fred weasley x female!reader

request #1: Can I request soft Fred Weasley comforting his girlfriend when she’s not feeling well/on her period and falling behind in classes/ homework? Pretty please 🥺

request #2: Can you write a Fred x reader where the reader is on her period while at Hogwarts during a time when a lot of tests are happening and she needs to be studying but isn’t and Fred notices cause usually she’s like Hermione and always does homework/studies and he figures out why she isn’t and helps her feel better? 

a/n: THIS IS WAY OVERDUE IM SORRY but i decided to combine these 2 reqs bc they were pretty similar !! 

[Y/N] is stressed.

School has never been a piece of cake for anyone—not even for Hermione Granger, who is one of the brightest people at Hogwarts, and certainly not for her, one of the Gryffindor Quidditch team's Chasers, and on top of that, a prefect currently studying for her N.E.W.Ts.

Wood expects her to practice out by the Quidditch pitch every free period in preparation for the upcoming match against Hufflepuff. This goes for every member of the team—even the ones who, like [Y/N], are studying for the so-called "big exams". And despite [Y/N] wanting to do well in her tests, she also doesn't want to lose her position in the Quidditch team—so she goes to the practice sessions, anyway, even if it's at the cost of her sleep.

That—coupled with her prefect duties and schoolwork—is wearing her out. So far she has managed to miraculously plow through, but when that time of the month comes and she can barely even bring herself to get out of bed, [Y/N] begins to wonder whether giving up would be a better option.

She could do it. Drop everything and lay in bed all day for the next week or so with a bag of chocolates at her side and pillows cushioning her entire body.

She could—technically, anything in the world is possible—but she shouldn’t, because she has obligations. Prefect tasks; patrolling the corridors and making sure no first-years go astray in the Forbidden Forest (it already happened once—she's not going to let it happen again), N.E.W.T. revisions, homework, Quidditch practice, homework, and then even more homework—

The very moment she wakes up and feels the pain in her lower abdomen, she knows she is done for. She only barely drags herself out of bed and trudges to her classes the entire day feeling like pure and utter dung. Her entire body is sore and her entire mood cranky, but that hardly matters because she has homework to do. And classes to go to. And Quidditch practice and patrolling and studying and Merlin-knows-what-else.

The sourness of her mood doesn't go amiss by any of her friends, and certainly not by her boyfriend, Fred Weasley, who automatically just knows when something is out of the ordinary with her. And while her friends decide to leave her alone after noting her less than pleasant mood, Fred does quite the opposite.

Which is, of course, no different from what he does everyday: stick by her side like glue. And while they'd been best friends for a while, it's only been a few months since Fred finally sucked up the courage to ask her out. So naturally Fred has very little experience with, ah, women’s dilemmas.

To put it simply, he doesn't know how to deal with a girl on her bloody (no pun intended) period. For the love of Merlin, he can't even tell.

So he's a little surprised and his feelings are a teeny bit hurt when he nudges her in the middle of Charms class and whispers, "Was that an earthquake? Or did you just rock my world?" only for her to shake her head without even as much as looking at him.

And so Fred's thought process goes like this: he's done something terribly wrong. He doesn't know what, but he must have, and now he has to make up for it—whatever it is.

First, though, he has to figure out what.

—

It's midnight. [Y/N] doesn't know how on earth she managed to get through the entire day without passing out, but she did and now here she is in the nearly empty common room, sitting on the carpet in front of the fireplace with several sheets of parchment and open textbooks splayed out before her.

Jotting down History of Magic notes, her face is scrunched up in the utmost concentration. Fred watches her from where he's sitting on the couch, pouting a little.

"Don't you think you should be resting by now?" tries Fred, the concern in his voice audible as his gaze darts from her to her homework.

She doesn't respond. Fred sighs and gets up off the couch to sit down next to her on the ground. But even then, she doesn't look up from her homework, so Fred takes matters into his own hands and reaches out with his hand to gently cup her cheek, trying to tilt her head towards him.

"Not now, Fred.." she mutters, leaning away from him a little to keep writing. His hand hovers in mid-air, fingers now just barely brushing her face as she's moved away. "I have to.. finish this.."

Her tongue is poking out in concentration as she almost feverishly moves her quill over paper. Fred tries not to feel too dejected and lets her be, waiting until she's broken out of her trance enough to grab her attention again. In the meantime, he props his elbows on his knees, the pout on his lips very much evident as he watches her work. He still doesn't know why she's been acting so distant, and no matter how much he tries to mull things over in his brain, he still doesn't know why exactly she's angry at him. Or if she even is angry.

Was his pick-up line really that bad? Could it maybe be because he'd kept trying to play with her hair in potions class the other day? Or is it because of what he did last week, when he’d talked McGonagall’s ear off about how wonderful a girlfriend he had? Maybe Fred should've been a bit more considerate—[Y/N] has always been a teacher's pet, after all, and he knows that the teachers themselves were surprised when they found out that she was dating him, one-half of the devious Weasley twins who had six O.W.L.s combined..

[Y/N]'s hand stills, and for a moment Fred thinks she's finally finished her homework, but her shoulders have bowed a little and her eyes have closed. The effect this image has on Fred is instantaneous: the pout on his lips is replaced quickly by a fond smile as he lets out a quick breath of slightly dubious laughter and moves to gently tap her on the shoulder.

Slowly, slowly, her eyes blink open.

Another tiny laugh. "You fell asleep for a second there, love," says Fred softly, hand moving to touch her hair, and he's so bloody endeared by her it hurts. Voice a mere mumble like he’s afraid of speaking too loud, he says, "Reckon we should turn in for the night, yeah? You and me both."

There's silence as she exhales, leaning into his touch almost unconsciously as her eyes close and her shoulders slump. "I'm really tired," she tells him quietly, nose wrinkling a little as her mouth stretches open in a yawn. (Good grief, Fred's heart aches.) He scoots forward a little into her, gathering her into his lap where she almost automatically curls up, head on his shoulder and her lips just barely grazing the side of his neck.

Fred can't even remember what he'd been agonizing over just moments before. All his fluttering heart cares about at the moment is his sleepy girlfriend, who's shifting a little in his lap to get herself more comfortable, mumbling something inaudible in her half-asleep state. He has to physically suppress himself from throwing his head back and laughing out loud, because something about the situation he's in is making him feel oddly euphoric. He only has to think about if for a few moments before he realizes why: it's because of how adorable she's being. And Fred’s heart might be melting in his chest—should he be concerned?

"I'm gonna carry you up to your dorm, okay?" says Fred, tone just loud enough to make himself heard but quiet and soft enough so as to not jar her awake. He feels her nod a little against his shoulder. Carefully, he gets to his feet, one arm under her legs and the other supporting her back the way a groom would carry his bride. (The thought crosses Fred's head very briefly and just like that he's smiling goofily to himself.)

And the moment is romantic and intimate in a quiet, calming way, until Fred makes the big mistake of murmuring, "I'll fix up your homework and bring it to you so you can work on it tomorrow" and [Y/N] quite literally freezes in his arms. Her entire body goes rigid.

"Homework. Oh, crap." Fully awake now, she lifts her head off of his shoulder, looks back at her pile of homework still on the ground, and then, her panicked eyes meeting his, she says, "Oh, no. No. I can't—I've got to get it done now, Fred."

An incredulous sound tumbles past his lips. "I could've sworn you were asleep two seconds ago.”

She sighs, squeezing her eyes shut for a few seconds before peeling them open again. Fred notes that the bags under them look even more pronounced up close; something that has him frowning at her. “Put me down, please? I really have to get that essay done."

He huffs, shakes his head, and starts walking towards the staircase leading to the girls' dormitory. "What—" [Y/N] yelps, looking up at him with an expression that suggests he’s admitted to strangling a rabbit. "Fred, I said put me down—"

"And let you work yourself to death? No can do, love." Fred looks down at her, lips pressed together in a sorry smile as he shakes his head. He lifts his gaze back away from her as he begins climbing up the steps, trying not to jostle [Y/N] too much in his arms. His tone sing-song, he says, “You need to rest. The essay can wait."

[Y/N] opens her mouth to predictably retaliate, but Fred stops halfway up the staircase and presses a kiss to her lips, effectively cutting her off. At first she’s stiff, but it only takes her a few seconds to relax and melt into him.

When Fred pulls away with one last peck to the lips, he smiles down at her, eyes twinkling. “Have I changed your mind with my superior snogging skills?”

Unable to help herself, she lets out an exasperated laugh, shaking her head in disbelief. But even then her gaze lingers on her homework, still on the floor in front of the fireplace—totally not yet finished—

“But I’ve only got a few pages left to go,” she says in one last stroke of adamancy.

”And what kind of boyfriend would I be if I let you stay up all night without getting enough sleep?” They’ve reached the top of the staircase now, and Fred is fumbling with the doorknob of her dorm room, trying to open it with one hand without having to set her down.

“But Freddy.”

Fred pauses trying to open the door, lips unconsciously twitching up into an incredulous grin as he raises his eyebrows at her. Of course she had to use his one big weakness against him—he loves when she calls him Freddy. Or perhaps love is a severe understatement, because he always goes all putty in her hands whenever she sings it into his ear or shouts it at him from all the way across the hallways.

But Fred isn’t having it, not this time. “But [Y/N],” he mimics her tone, still grinning, and the voice in his heart tells him to peck her lips again, so he does. “I'm telling you, love, you need sleep. And besides, we’re already here—once I get this door open—aha!”

The door clicks open and reveals behind it the dark seventh year girls’ dorm room. Fred peers inside, unsure as he steps a single hesitant foot through the door, and then he withdraws back into the landing. “Suppose I'll have to drop you off here,” tuts Fred. “Can’t really barge into an all-girls dorm room in the middle of the night—even when I’m with you. Mum would have my head.” Gingerly, he sets her down on the ground, making sure she’s standing up completely before he takes his hands away. Grinning, he holds his palm out towards her and says, “That’ll be twenty galleons.”

”I didn’t even ask for—“

“A kiss, then.”

And her incomplete homework is still lingering in her head, bothering her—she really does need to have that done at least before breakfast tomorrow—but Fred is standing in front of her with the same playful smile that [Y/N] has never learned to resist so she sighs and stands on her tip-toes, places her hand on the back of his neck, and pulls him in for a kiss.

Fred is smiling—she can feel it against her lips. Eventually she starts smiling too, unable to help herself. When she pulls away, Fred cups her cheeks in his hand and pecks her forehead—and then her nose, and her cheeks, and her eyelids, and then she’s laughing, saying, “What are you doing?”

Fred lands another kiss to the tip of her nose, then drops his hands back to his sides. “You look far too lovely for someone in dire need of sleep.”

At the mention of sleep, a yawn tears its way out of her throat. Fred has to restrain himself from doubling over and sobbing because Merlin’s beard was that adorable.

”Fine,” [Y/N] says through yet another yawn, hand coming up to rub at her eyes. “Fine. Maybe I am tired.”

Fred gasps far too dramatically. “Who ever could have guessed?”

[Y/N] may be sleepy, but she still has enough strength within her to reach out and shove him lightly by the shoulder. Fred is as theatrical as always; he clutches the spot where she’d touched him as though he’s been fatally wounded.

She rolls her eyes, smiling. Another yawn. Fred drops his act and shoves his hands into his pockets, expression somber as he looks at her, eyes dancing over her own tired ones. “Go get some sleep, alright?”

She purses her lips, shoulders slumping in defeat as she nods. “Okay. Suppose I’ll just try to finish it as fast as I can tomorrow.” And then, voice going soft, she says, “Thanks, Fred.”

Fred is so goddamned endeared.

“And. Um.”

”Yes?”

“Sorry about being so bloody cranky. I'm—“ she pauses, eyes darting away for a moment as she gestures wildly to nothing in particular.

Fred raises his eyebrows.

“On my period,” she mutters. “Have I made it awkward? I'm sorry. I just didn’t want you to think you’d done something wrong for me to be acting.. you know.”

Fred’s brows have risen so far up his forehead he’s surprised they haven’t disappeared into his hair. His mouth has fallen open a little in surprise; whatever he’d been expecting her to say, it certainly hadn’t been that. But part of him is relieved at the knowledge that he hadn’t done anything wrong.

“So that’s why you’ve been acting like someone pissed in your tea,” says Fred teasingly. She rolls her eyes again—another yawn; the largest one so far, actually. He can’t help the fond laugh that tears its way out of his heart and past his lips. Reaching out, he places a hand on the back of her head and kisses her forehead. “Sweet dreams, love.”

She wraps her arms around his middle and nods into his chest, and Fred’s heart melts. “You too, Freddy.”

—

The next morning, [Y/N] wakes up to a mysteriously completed set of History of Magic homework and a bag of Honeydukes' chocolates on her bedside table.