#i literally fucking HATE the treatment he got in this movie

[sailorsunspot]

barbie spoilers ahead, these are my general thoughts on the movie

DO NOT READ IF YOU CARE ABOUT SPOILERS FOR BARBIE

The GOOD:

Sasha

Biggest note is I don't know why the movie wasn't about her???

I thought she felt really true and honest and a great representation of the unique position Gen Z have been put in.

Her preteen disaffected angst and disillusion felt SO correct, both because at that age you just feel jaded and angst but also? Because she's right to be jaded and angsty in a lot of ways. All the stuff she's been told and promised? DONT work out the way it should

I think they kind of missed the mark on really digging into her and her relationship with Gloria and her relationship with Barbie (which is a proxy for womanhood). Think you could have had an incredible movie talking about all the ways the concept of Barbie serves/hurts women through different generational lenses. Because Barbie was useful to Gloria but was also a cudgel (as it was a major plot point, her making these "wrong" Barbie's as a coping mechanism). And we know how Sasha felt with her iconic Sasha rant, but also, she wound up missing the whimsy and the joy and the inspiration Barbie offers

ANYWAY I love Sasha so much, I wish the movie featured her more, and I thought her journey when it came to getting closer to her mother by protecting her mother's ideals and wants and intentionally trying to make space for other women (she did that with both her mom AND ALSO with Barbie at the end, where she was literally the only character like: "Okay, but what about what Barbie wants???") was extremely well written and touching.

The Humor & Style

Not all the bits landed for me, but I generally loved the pro-camp and playful tone of the movie, and genuinely laughed at several points

Genuinely loved the style and the visuals - 10/10

The Content Editting

Tbh, I thought it was smart that they were like: yep, nope, we're not touching racism/ablism in this movie, we're just cool with it. Because…there's just so much to discuss, and no one story can service all things.

The BAD

Barbie's roll as a protaganist

I think this was intentional, but she was the most passive protaganist I've ever seen? Thoughts on this was she was just kind of like…an object to be projected onto so this kind of tracks with the theming of the movie right - like she was forced to go on her heroes journey against her will, when she returns home, she doesn't "save" Barbie-land, she gives up and it's actually Sasha and Gloria and Weird Barbie that does the saving (both because they want to try and also they come up with the plan). I think the most agency she shows in the movie is going to console Ken (which…will talk on that point more later), until the VERY end, when she chooses to become a real "woman". Really her role is more of the witness in the movie?

The Mattel thing

Originally I hated this and would have cut the entire Will Farrel thing, but my friend brought up some interesting points about how that might've been an intentional dig on the uselessness of corporate structure, etc. I still woulda cut it, but that at least makes it an interesting thought experiment tbh.

The Focus on Barbieland

Yeah I know it's like impossible to solve like…Patriarchy in the real world so in that sense it's smart to limit the scope of the danger to a play world where change can actually happen in a satisfying way overnight but like…

In the end, I feel like i dont know anything about Gloria and Sasha other than what I, a reasonably learned media consumer, can infer from the context? Idk, felt like a missed opportunity to dig more into their actual real life experience with womanhood instead of saving the fake construct idea of womanhood, because then we lack context on why the way Barbieland has "changed" is for the better. Since Barbieland and Barbie as a whole is a proxy for the idea of "woman", it felt like we needed more

The plot is supposed to be a reflection of the internal struggle, also known as the "story". How does saving Barbieland reflect onto the main characters of the story, (Barbie, I guess?) Is it just that she realized she no longer wanted to serve the ideal and

the UGLY:

Very VERY narrow definition of Womanhood

This is partially intentional cause of the dolls, but, lol, you cannot have a feminist movie and not cover things like queerness, GNC, etc. Or I guess you can, but it just comes off as the most superficial white liberal version of feminism imaginable. Disappointing, considering the movie did a good job of saying "we're not touching racism and ableism, not because it doesnt exist but because there's only so much we can fit in a movie" but it at least acknowledged those things with their active presence in the movie.

ESPECIALLY since Barbie = the proxy for womanhood, I guess fuck me i'm not a woman then haha

I KNOW that the cast included a trans actor, but that that means nothing within the context of the story other than, congrats show-runners for correctly identifying women, lmao.

Similarly, you absolute CAN have a million and one queer "interpretations" of Barbie, of the Kens, of Allen in particular. Still, it's all on the person who interprets it, not actually in the subtext of the story. Yeah sorry in the year of 2023 I dont give properties props for making me do the work for them, that's some tumblr ass bullshit i cannot abide by. Support my reading with the text or it doesn't count.

Literally all you needed was a single barbie who expanded the view of a woman was, a single Barbie who was like "actually maybe i want to wear Ken's clothes" or "maybe I dont want to hang out with Ken maybe I want to hang out with this other Barbie winkyface".

Ken

Why

No seriously, why

Why does even the Barbie movie, made for Barbie, made for girls, have to cater to the opinions and emotions of fucking MEN?

I have a lot to say about this, but instead of railing on this ad nauseam the big things are:

Ken literally never even apologized for intentionally using the patriarchy to intentionally hurt barbie.

Barbie had to apologize to ken??? For accidentally hurting his feeling by not giving him the attention he wanted?

How did they turn this "feminist" movie into such fucking incel bait holy shit

They were clearly doing the "patriarchy hurts everyone" bullshit but like, they literally covered that with Allan???

so it just makes it feel more BS when they, literally in the fucking text of the movie, have to remind Barbie with Gloria saying "hi, stop infantalizing/mothering your babymanchild he stole your home, fucked up your life, ruined your town" and Barbie was like Yeah you right girl and then not 20- minutes later GAVE IN ANYWAY.

I know im a man hating dyke but fuck. when they make THE LITERAL BARBIE MOVIE about making men comfortable then i think i am 100% in the right to be fucking pissy about this

[sweetestcaptainhughes]

Moments in Time - Quinn Hughes Edition

Word Count - 2300

Summary - The eight times Quinn Hughes showed his love through the ring camera that he didn’t even want in the first place.

Warnings - none pure fluff I know a true shocker if you aren't new here

Author's Note: Hello everyone as always thank you for reading. This is apart of a "Moments in Time" series that I wrote eight moments each of the Hughes brothers. The fics are individual stand alone pieces, they can be read in any order, or you could only read the one brother you want.

Jack Hughes Edition. Luke Hughes Edition.

I have to give credit to my girl Kay @icebound-imagination for not only helping come up with the original idea! But literally stayed up late one night to help me detail plan all three Hughes brothers fics because I didn't want any repeated ideas. Kay also wrote some of the concepts and hers are noted as "Kendra's Version."

Main Masterlist

When you mentioned to Quinn the first time that you wanted to get a ring doorbell he gave you that famous “what the fuck” Quinn Hughes look. But then when you told him about how you really just wanted it in Vancouver because of how much time you spent completely alone in the apartment. To this day, you swear you’ve never heard Quinn agree to anything so fast. Truthfully you just wanted to watch your neighbor’s new puppy growth. But you knew that if there is anyone who hates you having to be completely alone for so long with no family around it’s Quinn. So really it was best of both worlds, Quinn felt more at ease with the ring camera and you got to watch the next door neighbor be ridiculously cute everyday on the way to their walks. 

 Early Morning Goodbyes

Quinn had to leave early many times throughout the season. Although he always kissed you goodbye on the cheek, because you were still deep in sleep you both knew you wouldn’t remember it. Learning this after the first time he did kiss you goodbye before leaving for a roadie and you didn’t remember it at all. To say you were mad at Quinn for not saying goodbye, you gave him the silent treatment for two whole days, only to discover you were the one in the wrong. 

So the next time he had to leave home early due to an early flight for a roadie or hell, even an early morning skate. Of course he still kissed your cheek and whispered his goodbyes. But he started saying bye on the ring because he knew that way you’d see it when you were actually a functionable human being to society and would remember it. 

2. Getting a notification

The main reason that Quinn agreed to getting a ring was because of how you said that you would feel safer when he was on long roadies. The first time that you came home from work and he was on a roadie, he was waiting for the notification to come on his phone. As soon as it popped up he clicked on it quickly, ignoring his teammates and the movie they had playing in the background. “Hi baby.” he said softly he didn’t wanna startle you. After a long day all you wanted to do was crawl into bed, “hi Quinny” immediately hearing his voice and feeling better. 

“What are you doing? Aren’t you supposed to be doing some team bonding?” Resting your forehead against your doorbell but looking directly at the camera.

“Oh I am Barbie is playing right now it was Brock’s turn to pick.” A soft laugh leaves both your lips at Quinn’s comment, your laugh continues when you hear Brock in the background telling him to “fuck off.” Quickly Quinn tells you that he’s gotta go but he will text you. 

That was the first night you guys had a full blown conversation through your ring camera when he was on a roadie. But it became a little tradition every night when you got home if Quinn was out of town. Even if at the time he was in the middle of a game or an interview, everyday you would ring the doorbell and say “Quinny I’m home.”  

3. Drop the attitude 

Quinn and you didn’t fight often but when you did it was usually something serious. Today was not one of those cases, it was just one of those days where you were in a bad mood all day and you couldn’t pin point why. But every little thing Quinn was doing was getting on your nerves, to the point of you wanting to scream. From procrastinating on unloading the dishwasher, to being indecisive about what he wanted for breakfast. By the time you were trying to take a nap and he was yelling on Facetime with Jack and Luke you had hit your breaking point. 

Storming into the living room and telling Quinn that he needed to leave the apartment because you needed time alone before you went insane. Quinn told his brothers he’d call them back and hung up. He tried to ask you what was wrong but you insisted that you needed him to leave. So he left but not without leaving a message on the ring camera. 

“I don’t know where this attitude is coming from, baby. But what do you need for it to go away? Like do we need food? Are you hangry? Do you need cuddles and some quiet time? Cause whatever you need imma give it to you if you drop the attitude. Cause I don’t like when you want to kill me.” 

4. Celebrating 

Every home game that you went to it wasn’t unusual for you to uber from the apartment to the stadium. But you would always wait until Quinn was ready to leave to go home to the game. Tonight there was a home game and you were planning on going. But this week has been so long at work, you were debating on just watching it on T.V, ultimately you did decide to take an uber to the game. Never have you been so happy to not miss out on a game live. It was an insane game that turned out to be a shutout with no other than baby goalie as starter. 

Quinn and you both decided to go to the local bar to celebrate with the team and other wags. After Quinn had 2 beers, and you lost track of the amount of rum and cokes Petey was giving you. Quinn decided it was time to call it a night. Once you got home, your not sure if it was the alcohol you both consumed or just still on a high from the game. But Quinn insisted on practically sprinting down the hallway to your apartment while you cheered about the game. Quinn has never felt so lucky the night when the ring camera was able to catch such an intimate private moment that neither of you would have remembered that morning without the video proof. 

5. Playing pranks - Kendra’s Version 

You had just settled onto the couch, a warm bowl of popcorn balanced in your lap as your phone screen lit up. You picked it up and checked to see you had a notification from the front door’s security camera. It was Friday night, which meant you weren’t getting any deliveries and your husband, Quinn, was home in the shower. 

Curiously you click into the app, seeing what the footage showed. And it wasn’t much. But what you could see was some blonde hair and a toque. You knew exactly who that hair and that hat belonged to. What on earth was he doing? 

Your finger hovered over the screen as you decided what to do about your husband’s teammate when the camera showed a flash of a stylish jacket, one that was definitely not the style of the blond hair and toque wearing teammate. Which meant his literal partner in crime was with him. And then it was like someone smashed their finger onto a fast forward button. 

You were getting ready to use the two way microphone to ask what was going on when you heard a crashing noise. Your finger hit the button quickly as you yelled out “What on earth are you two blond himbos doing out there? Brock I swear to god if you’re leaving your laundry for me to do again I’m throwing it in the Pacific!” 

You were too busy screaming to notice you weren’t the only one who heard the ruckus Dumb and Dumber had made. Quinn must have seen the security notification when he got out of the shower, heard your screaming, and now he was angrily stomping towards the front door and opening it up to figure out what was going on.

Brock, who must have tried to hide from the camera, was leaning against the door. Except the door was ripped open by your angry husband and Brock came tumbling backwards into the foyer. His signature smirk and deep voice trying to play innocent. “Hey Huggy.” 

You decided it was time to get off the couch and look for yourself. As you pushed past Quinn and Brock you leaned against the door frame. This was when you noticed the white stuff all over and that Petey was doubled over in laughter.

This left Brock to be the one to fess up their master plan, “Well we figured it would be Quinn that would see the camera not you. He’s ALWAYS checking it in the locker room. After me and the Swede had too many tonight we wanted to have some fun. And what’s more fun than pranking the captain? We wanted him to open the door to pie him. Get glitter stuck in his playoff beard. You weren’t supposed to catch us, Y/N.” 

You looked back at Petey, now understanding why he was sparkling under your porch lights.

“Sorry about the plant,” he wheezed. 

You could feel Quinn’s glare get darker. Brock however was unaffected by the quiet brooding man. “Petey will pay for it because he makes more money.” 

6. “Where the fuck you going in that dress?”

Quinn wasn’t as overprotective over you as people assumed he would be with his girlfriend. He trusted you and he also knew that you knew how to keep yourself safe when you were out with friends for a girls night. But at the same time he didn’t like it when you went out when he was on a roadie. Quinn made the comment about how when he’s a plane ride away it gives him anxiety when you're out with friends drinking. He said that he would feel terrible if something bad happened or even if you needed a ride home and he couldn’t come to you because he was on the other side of the continent. Since you weren’t a big partier anyway, from that night on you did tend to only go out if Quinn was in town. Never wanting to be the reason you brought your boyfriend to the breaking point with his anxiety. 

But it was your best friend having her birthday and you couldn’t not go. It had completely slipped your mind about your new ring camera and how Quinn was basically addicted to checking it especially when he was on the road. After coming over to get ready at your place. Finally you were ready to order the uber and as you were locking the door, you heard Quinn’s voice “Where the hell are going in that dress?” You could tell from his voice that he was definitely a little annoyed. It was probably because he knew even from the shitty ring camera quality that this was your go to clubbing dress. 

“Hi bubs. It’s Y/B/F birthday tonight.I know your out on a roadie which is why I didn’t tell you.” You said as you bent down so that your face was lined up with the camera. “I am realizing now that wasn’t my smartest idea. I promise I won’t be out long okay? I’ll text you as soon as I get home, Quinny.” Quinn could hear the guilt in your voice and it made his heart break a little. 

“It’s okay baby girl. Just be safe okay. I love you. Also your making me miss you even more cause you look really really fucking beautiful in that dress.” As much as you tried to hide your blush you knew that you were failing miserably. 

“Thanks Quinn. I love you.” as you stood up and blew a kiss to the camera.

7. Fidgety Hughes 

Sometimes Quinn’s fidgeting was out of this world insane even for him. Whether it was that he sometimes let himself get lost in his head and didn’t realize how bad it had gotten. Or if shaking his leg or tapping his fingers on thighs calmed his anxiety. But sometimes his fidgeting was just adorable and this was no difference. Quinn was trying to unlock the door but his hands kept fidgeting probably due to the rough practice or maybe it was just from being tired. But after dropping his keys the fourth time you couldn’t help but chirp him through the camera. 

“I hope you can handle a puck better than those keys Hughes.” Quinn couldn’t help but smile at your voice through the camera.

“Oh I can name a lot of things you tell me all the time I handle better than these keys.” playing along with your antics but with a flirty tone. But then of course he dropped his keys on the floor for the fifth time. 

“Come on get it together bro.” you chirp.

“Don’t be such a brat, unless you need a reminder of who you beg to help you when you have an itch.” 

8. Long Week

Quinn knows that you’ve had a long week and been very stressed because of it. So he stops at the store on his way home and grabs all your favorite snacks that he knows you will want later when you come home from work. He decides to ring the camera to tell you that he got all your favorite snacks and will be ready when you get home for a movie night or whatever you want. Even if it’s The Office which he never even saw a single episode until he met you and you forced him to. He also tells you that he already placed an order to your favorite restaurant for takeout.

[noodles-icetea]

Jujutsu Jamboree: Heartstrings and Hijinks - Kento, Satoru & Suguru X F!Reader

Summary: Hey there, fellow JJK enthusiasts! When Satoru’s family gets an invite to a Marvel movie premiere, he passes it to you, thinking it’s not his scene. But upon realizing you'll be going with Kento and Suguru, he decides to tag along. What could go wrong? (Spoiler: Everything.) Join our beloved trio as they navigate a night of movie magic, celebrity encounters, and an unexpected twist that brings everyone closer—sometimes literally. Unaware of their affections, you stumble through the night filled with glamor, action, and heartwarming moments that could rival even the best Marvel plot twists. Word Count: 2733 Author's Note: Buckle up because this story's got more twists than Gojo's infinity and more drama than a cursed spirit family reunion. Dive into a whirlwind of glamor, action, and subtle romance where our favorite sorcerers try to navigate Hollywood's shiny lights without using Hollow Purple on anyone... yet. Enjoy the chaos and don't forget to leave a comment if you laugh, cry, or feel an inexplicable urge to hug Nanami (we all do). Warnings: Mild violence (Gojo can’t help himself) Injury/Blood (nothing our favorite sorcerers can't handle) Mild language (because Gojo has no filter) Extreme levels of charm from Kento, Satoru, and Suguru (handle with care) Unhealthy amounts of jealousy and possessiveness (Satoru’s specialty) Reader discretion is advised. 😂 This story may contain themes of unrequited love, emotional turmoil, and angst. Reader discretion is advised. Constructive feedback and comments are welcome and encouraged. However, please keep interactions respectful and kind. Any form of harassment, bullying, or inappropriate behavior will not be tolerated and may result in being blocked or reported. While I strive to provide appropriate content warnings, please be aware that certain themes or topics may still be triggering for some readers. Proceed with caution and take care of your mental well-being.

Modern AU, All men survived Shibuya.

Satoru’s family had received an invite for a Marvel movie premiere. He didn't care much about which movie was being played, so he gave you the invite. You glowed with excitement when you saw the guest list. Noticing your sudden happiness, Satoru snatched the invite to read it himself and was too stunned to speak when he read the name. You were so excited that you invited Kento and Suguru since Satoru didn't seem interested, but he ended up inviting himself once he learned who was going with you.

You all met at the premiere. You picked out a beautiful long-sleeve white sundress for the occasion. Kento insisted on picking you up even though you were a perfectly good driver although a little rash. He said it’d give you more time at the salon if he picked you up, and you agreed.

"I'm so fucking PUMPED." You practically jumped into the car. Kento smiled his familiar smile. On the way, you kept talking about the moment in your childhood when you first saw the movie, fell in love with the story and characters, and even had a little crush on the male lead. Kento couldn't help but smile. He wasn't much of a talker, so he enjoyed listening to you without being forced to carry the conversation. You hated it since you didn't enjoy talking much, but since he was so silent, he brought out DJ Yapper in you.

Upon arrival, Kento insisted on the princess treatment, masking it by saying, "It's a special occasion."

As you got out of the car, you took Kento’s hand. You felt eyes on you from above. Turning to look, you saw a small figure in the sky but couldn't figure out what it was since it was quite sunny and you didn't bring your sunglasses.

Suddenly, you felt an arm on your shoulder. You jerked since Kento was in front of you. Slowly turning left, fully prepared to teach whoever it was a lesson, you saw Suguru smiling his warm smirk.

“Where were you guys? We have been waiting forever.” Suguru said.

This was new. Suguru and Satoru never touched you, but you guessed it was fine since you had known each other for some time.

You smiled, but before you could say anything, you felt the same pair of eyes again, but this time they felt completely threatening. You looked up again to see the same paintbrush figure, pestering you daily between his classes and missions. Satoru saw you, smirking as he came down.

“How many times have I told you to stop doing that? It's creepy.” You yelled at Satoru.

“You know, it keeps you safe.” Satoru said, moving forward to hug you. Suguru and Kento reluctantly let go of you so you could hug Satoru back.

This was definitely new. He had never been bold enough to hug you before. You brushed it off, thinking it was due to their last stressful mission where you heard whispers that they almost died. Maybe he needs it more than you, you thought and hugged him tighter, rubbing his back like an awkward mother. Since it's Satoru and he'd rather chew his own foot than show his vulnerability, this unfortunately came with his powers. He couldn't be in relationships because of it, and you thought to yourself, how lonely must their lives be outside work.

Your thoughts were only broken by Kento’s stern but gentle words, “It's time, we need to go in.”

You hadn't realized that the hug seemed to last too long for a social setting. You quickly let go, and Satoru put a hand just above the small of your back to guide you all through the crowd. The other men followed his lead, keeping an eye on any pervert who tried to “accidentally touch” you.

Inside, the dim lights of the cinema hall flickered as you made your way to your seat, your excitement palpable.

"I can't believe we’re finally seeing this movie. I’ve been obsessed with him ever since the first movie. I really hope he’s in this one."

Satoru, wearing a stylish black turtleneck and dark jeans, chuckled, his cerulean eyes hidden behind his dark glasses, leaning back in his seat. "Well, I hope the movie lives up to your expectations." And maybe I can be as impressive as him tonight, he thought to himself. His tone was light, but his eyes held a mischievous gleam.

Suguru, dressed in a casual black sweater and dark pants, his hair open, a rare sight, smiled, though his purple eyes flickered with a hint of jealousy. "It's good to see you so excited. But remember, he's just a guy on a screen." He handed you a tub of popcorn, his fingers brushing against yours.

Kento, in a black full-sleeve sweater and matching trousers, sat next to you, giving a courteous nod. His hair fell into his eyes for the first time ever; this was what it was like seeing him outside of work. His blade concealed beneath his sweater. "Enjoy the movie. And don’t hesitate to let me know if you need anything." His tone was formal, but his eyes softened as they met yours.

As the movie began, you couldn’t help but gush over every scene. "I really hope he shows up but I won't be surprised if he doesn't," you whispered excitedly.

Satoru leaned in, his breath warm against your ear. "I wouldn't count on it, but anything can happen." He positioned himself on your right, with Suguru on your left, both ensuring they were close to you.

Suguru kept offering you snacks, his voice soft and sincere. "Even if he doesn't, I’m sure we can impress you just as much."

Kento, ever the reserved one, leaned slightly toward you. "The storytelling is excellent. It’s nice to see you enjoying yourself." His voice was calm, but there was a tightness to it that hinted at his feelings.

When he finally appeared on screen, you let out an excited squeal. "Oh my god, he’s here! I FUCKING knew it!"

Satoru's playful grin faltered, his eyes widening. "What the—he’s actually here?" He looked around, realizing you were talking about the movie.

Suguru's jaw tightened, his eyes narrowing at the screen. "Unexpected. But let's not get too carried away."

Kento, though understanding your enthusiasm, couldn’t help but feel a pang of jealousy. "He is a good actor," he admitted, his voice steady. "I see why you admire him."

Throughout the movie, the three men watched as you swooned over every scene he was in. They exchanged looks, their rivalry simmering beneath the surface.

As the credits rolled, you stretched your legs and back in your seat while Kento readjusted himself. Suguru, wondering why none of his companions were leaving, noticed you having an intense stare-down at the final teasers for upcoming movies and remembered that Marvel movies have that.

Once over, the four of you made your way out of the theater. The tension among the three men was palpable, though you were too exhilarated to notice.

"How about dinner? My treat," Satoru suggested, his grin challenging the others.

Suguru’s smile was tight. "I know a place nearby." He subtly positioned himself between you and Satoru.

Kento stayed close, his eyes sharp and vigilant. "As long as it’s not too crowded."

After the movie, the bustling lobby was filled with excited chatter and the occasional flash of cameras. After the emotional rollercoaster of the movie, you all exited the cinema hall, the three towering men subtly keeping an eye on you, ensuring your safety amidst the bustling crowd.

Satoru, with a playful demeanor tinged with a hint of protectiveness, suggested, "Let's head out quietly. There’s a lot of people around."

Suguru nodded in agreement, scanning the surroundings vigilantly. "We should stick together."

Kento, ever the practical one, added, "Stay close. There’s a lot of activity here."

As you walked through the lobby, you noticed a small gathering near a side entrance. Your eyes widened in disbelief. "Wait... is that Andrew Garfield?" He was here. He was really here.

Satoru's expression darkened slightly. "Ignore it, Y/N. Let's keep moving."

He noticed you too, and his gaze locked with yours for a fleeting moment before Satoru began to lead you away.

As Satoru tugged your hand, Andrew’s security team intercepted, halting your progress. Satoru stiffened, his eyes narrowing as he squared off his shoulders, ready to intervene if needed. Sensing the tension, Andrew gestured for the guards to stand down.

"Let her go," Andrew's voice cut through the tension, his tone unwavering. His guards hesitated under his command, sensing his authority.

Satoru's jaw clenched, his gaze locked with Andrew's. "She's with us. She doesn't need your interference."

You stepped forward, trying to ease the situation. "Satoru, it's okay. I just want to say hi."

Andrew nodded, stepping closer to you. "It's alright. I appreciate your enthusiasm."

Ignoring the tension brewing between Satoru and Andrew, you spoke animatedly with Andrew, oblivious to the unspoken rivalry around you. Andrew's charm and warmth were captivating, and you found yourself drawn into conversation.

As Andrew handed you his autograph discreetly, Satoru's expression darkened. You glanced at Suguru and Kento, who stood nearby, they smiled but it was laced with something else.

Andrew's gentle kiss on your knuckles made your cheeks flush with excitement. "Thank you," you murmured, feeling a mixture of exhilaration and guilt. Your social anxiety threatens to come out and destroy your entire personality as always.

Satoru's eyes flashed with irritation as he held back from acting on his instincts. "Alright, Y/N, we should get going." His tone was sharp, and you could sense the underlying tension.

You turned back to Andrew, smiling. "Thank you for the autograph."

Andrew nodded, his gaze lingering on you. "Take care."

Before you could say more, Andrew's bodyguards ushered him away, casting wary glances at the three imposing figures standing near you. Their unease was palpable, unsettled by the intense aura of the sorcerers.

Satoru, Suguru, and Kento exchanged tense glances, their admiration for your happiness tinged with jealousy. They respected your excitement for meeting Andrew, yet their feelings of possessiveness over you simmered beneath the surface, unspoken but keenly felt.

As you walked away, flanked by Gojo, Suguru, and Kento, the tension was palpable. Satoru's grip on your hand tightened slightly, his protective side coming to the fore. Suguru and Kento exchanged glances, their own silent understanding of the rivalry they all felt.

You tried to lighten the mood with a laugh, "I can't believe I met him!"

But Satoru's jaw remained clenched, his thoughts racing. Suguru and Kento walked beside you, their own silent concerns evident in their expressions.

As you made your way out of the lobby, you couldn't help but wonder about the undercurrent of emotions swirling around you. Satoru, Suguru, and Kento might have been your protectors, but the rivalry between them and Andrew Garfield was far from over.

The walk to the restaurant was interrupted by a chilling wind. You saw your feet in ocean water. What...

The shadows twisted, forming a massive, grotesque curse spirit, terrifying, summoning aquatic creatures to its aid.

"Stay close to me," Kento ordered, stepping in front of you. His usual calm demeanor gave way to fierce protectiveness.

Kento called out to Satoru, “It’s Dagon. You know what to do with him. I’ll stay near her.”

Satoru’s expression shifted from playful to deadly serious. "Suguru, take the left. I'll go right." He glanced at you, his voice soft but firm. "Don’t move."

Suguru’s eyes darkened with determination. "We’ll handle this. Just stay safe." He squeezed your hand briefly before joining Satoru.

The curse spirit, summoning marine creatures, made the fight chaotic. Satoru’s limitless techniques dazzled, slicing through the water with precision. Suguru’s curses struck the aquatic creatures, his movements fluid and deadly. Kento’s blade cut through the curses with terrifying efficiency, but he was clearly struggling to keep up.

Toji suddenly appeared, his presence adding another layer of danger. He grinned, clearly relishing the fight. "Looks like I arrived just in time for the fun."

Satoru smirked, realizing that this Dagon Spirit must have had a bounty on its head since Toji clearly looked like he was chasing him, not missing a beat. "Just stay out of my way, Toji. This one’s ours."

Suguru’s eyes narrowed. "Focus, Satoru. We need to end this quickly."

Kento, gritting his teeth, struck down another creature. "Stay focused. Protect her."

The curse spirit lashed out, sending waves of water and creatures toward you. Kento moved to shield you, taking a hit in the process. "Damn it!"

The guy referred to as Toji was now standing against a closed shop’s door, watching the curse get killed without any more effort, but he noticed something else too.

“Interesting!” Toji said looking directly at you and the three men, not leaving your side for long, even in a fight. You noticed but didn’t pay him mind since he was always weird from what you had heard from Megumi.

Satoru’s eyes blazed with anger. "You’ll pay for that." He unleashed a powerful attack, momentarily stunning the curse.

Suguru took the opportunity, his curses overwhelming the spirit. "Now, Satoru!"

Together, Satoru and Suguru delivered a final, devastating blow, dispelling the curse spirit. Toji, satisfied with the chaos, disappeared into the shadows.

Breathing heavily, they turned to you, concern etched on their faces. "Are you okay?" Kento asked, his eyes scanning you for injuries.

You nodded, still in shock. "I’m fine. Thank you.”

Satoru stepped closer, a hint of his usual grin returning. "Told you we'd protect you."

Suguru’s hand found yours again, his touch reassuring. "You’re safe with us."

You smiled, warmth spreading through you despite the cold night. "I’m lucky to have friends like you."

Your vision shifted to Kento who was shielding himself from you, awkwardly clutching his chest. You dropped their hands and moved quickly to Kento. You could see red on his neck. If his blood has reached his neck, where he wasn't hit, that must mean it was bad. You tried to pry his hand away as to where he was clutching his heart. You know you aren't as strong as them, but Kento wouldn't let you see his wound. You grew frustrated and angry as he could die if he didn't let you treat him. You yelled through tears in your eyes. “Just because you are wearing a black piece of cloth doesn't mean I can't see you bleeding out.” You paused as the three men stared at you dumbfounded. You meekly whispered, “you guys do so much for this country, students, and me, and I know I'm not as strong as you guys but I can still heal you.” With the last word, you stared at Kento. He reluctantly agrees, with his other bloodless hand on your hand, and he puts it on his chest. You begin glowing and with you, the spot where you touch Kento glowed too, healing him. Satoru and Suguru looked at this with unfathomable jealousy but couldn't say anything because it would be extremely difficult to talk you down right now.

Kento was now healed. You asked him, “are you feeling normal again?”

He nodded. Satoru didn't waste a second and positioned himself near you. “We don't think you are weak. It's just...” he trailed off, wiping liquid tears off your eyes. You immediately started wiping your tears so as to not be unprofessional, it was hard for women with an emotional side to be respected in Jujutsu society and this wasn’t helping your case. But as you looked down at your white dress sleeves, you realized you had blood-soaked sleeves. I guess I'm really not strong enough, you thought to yourself. You feel tears well up further but quickly brush them away with a smile, “this is nothing, I'll be okay in a few hours. Let's go eat and hope no more surprises come our way.”

Looking at your mini breakdown over one of them, they realized why they were hopelessly in love with you.

The three men exchanged looks, each silently vowing to win your heart, their jealousy and possessiveness simmering beneath the surface. They knew their biggest rivals were standing right beside them, but they were determined to protect you and, ultimately, win you over.

Disclaimer: I do not own Jujutsu Kaisen or any of its characters (if I did, you bet Nanami would have all the screen time). All rights belong to Gege Akutami and respective creators. This work is purely fan-made and created for entertainment purposes only. No copyright infringement is intended. The specific plot, original characters, and unique dialogue or scenes in this fan fiction are my own creations. Please do not reproduce, distribute, or re-post this work without my explicit permission. Feel free to reblog and share this post with proper credit, but please do not copy and paste the content elsewhere. Interaction and Copyright Disclaimer: Feel free to share and reblog this story, but please don’t steal or claim it as your own. All characters and some events are the property of Gege Akutami and related parties. This work is meant for non-commercial purposes only. No curses or sorcerers were harmed in the making of this fic. 😉 This fan fiction falls under the fair use doctrine as a non-commercial work created for the enjoyment of fans and the celebration of the original series.

[rrr-is-gay]

RRR ON-SCREEN KISS OPPORTUNITIES, rated for her pleasure

1. Immediately following the fisher boy rescue. They go onto the dock and kinda embrace one another but fail to kiss. Not okay. 3/10

2. The thigh touch scene. Come onnnnn, I know they’re talking about Sita, but they coulda squeezed a lil kissy kiss in there, if they had any courage at all. 8/10

3. RAMBHEEM SQUAT WORKOUT. Not exactly the ideal shot for an onscreen kiss; we’d need to get a little creative with the camera work to keep it cohesive. But it would be the literal hottest thing EVER, so I hate that it isn’t real. 8/10

4. MAKEOVER SCENE!!!!!!!!!!!! This one demands a kiss, multiple times! The beard trim? Pop a lil kiss on his nose, Ram! The hair treatment? Kiss his forehead! Changing his shirt? Bheem, give’m a nice lil smooch! It’s practically canon, the camera just cuts too quickly for us to see it. 10/10, peak kiss opportunity.

5. Pre-Naatu. How fucking SWAG would it be for them to just pop the fastest lil kiss on each other’s lips RIGHT at the moment they dunk on Jake for not knowing Naatu? This precise moment, when Bheem twirls around and Ram puts his arm on his shoulder? KISS!! 6/10

6. Post-Naatu piggyback ride. Would have loved to see Bheem kiss Ram’s cheek here. Totally ungrateful that he doesn’t. Wtf Bheem. 9/10

7. Sopping fucking wet. Bheem could totally pop a quick kiss onto Ram's lips before administering the antidote here. He's all up in Ram's face anyway, tending to him, caring for him, healing him. A nice kiss would help!!!!!!! 7/10

8. MARRIAGE CEREMONY. Bheem. BHEEM. You adorn your lover with the holy thread of your tribe, but don’t seal the deal with a kiss?? Maybe he thinks it’s dubcon cuz Ram is basically unconscious. Would’ve loved a kiss here, but I respect the consent king. 4/10

9. REVEAL YOURSELF TO ME IN BED. Bheem could have AT LEAST kissed Ram’s hands here, I mean wtf!!!!!! You think you might die tonight, and you could be saying goodbye forever, and you DON’T kiss????? 10/10, scene incomplete without a tender smooch.

10. Devastating fight. Bheem could’ve gone out on a limb here and really brought Ram back to reality if he’d gone in for a kiss. A bold move, yes, but not out of character for Bheem. 3/10

11. Pain, pain paaaaiiinnnn. Ram is more devastated in this moment than he’s ever been in his entire life. He would absolutely kiss Bheem’s head while holding his limp body in his arms. Only gets a pass cuz Ram is still undercover and a kiss would’ve given him away. 2/10

12. Hand nuzzle. CANON, I TELL YOU!!!! It’s CANON that Bheem kisses Ram’s hand here! It was only cut from the film because of homophobia! 11/10

13. Burn this lanka down. Okay. It’s one swift move to pull Ram out from the cell and onto Bheem’s shoulders. So a kiss on the lips couldn’t work. But Ram could, and should, totally kiss Bheem’s head right here. And Bheem should kiss Ram’s wrist! The fight can wait one millisecond!!! JUST KISS ALREADY! 8/10

14. Bridal carry. A nice swift peck from Ram to Bheem would really boost both of their morale right here. And it's such a brief shot, I'm sure the kiss happened, we just didn't get to see it. Once again, homophobia. 9/10

15. CANON CANON CANON CANON. I don’t wanna hear ANY debate or disagreement on this one, you little freaks! They DO kiss here! I can see the intention in Bheem’s eyes! That slow lean inward!!!! He’s about to kiss this man smack on the lips!!!! And Ram is so tired, but he’s BLISSFULLY here for it! He’s flat on his back, ready for Bheem’s plush lips to smother his right NOW! HEAL THIS MAN WITH YOUR SWEET KISS, BHEEM!!!! 10000000000/10

16. Phallic rifle. Would love a nice little makeout sesh right here in front of Governor Scott. How fucking badass would that be? Not a little peck either, I want them to get really filthy for a minute, because they’ve earned it! Grip that rifle and stick your tongues in each other’s mouths! Come on, the movie’s almost over! What have you got to lose?! 9/10

17. “What can I offer you in return?” “KISS ME!” This really is the last chance for these two men to show us how they really feel. I get that it’s kinda awkward in front of their friends and family, but it’s all worth it just to make Jenny uncomfortable. (Why is she there?????) Oh wait, Sita’s there too. Meh. I still want them to smooch. 7/10

18. Etthara Jenda! Dance, smile, skip, cheer, KISS! This song is all about victory and pride. Wouldn’t an onscreen kiss just be the cherry on top?! I think so. 9/10

[bonefall]

Do you have a top 5 dotc characters line-up? Just ones you like in general

"Top 5" is really more of a... "guys I hate the least" lineup. Characters whose treatment made me so angry it's become spite-love. It's bad in here. It's REALLY bad in here.

In no particular order, the characters I like in DOTC are,

Bumble Not JUST because of how dirty she was done, either. Bumble's amazing. She's confident, she's outgoing, she's funny! She's there for Turtle Tail when Gray Wing is treating her like shit, and friendly to every cat she meets, even when they're being dicks to her. She ALWAYS does the right thing in the end and has the best interests of her friends at heart. She's a GOOD PERSON! The ONE time she was ever ANGRY at anyone was when Turtle Tail just let her get dragged back to their wifebeater. She's only part of TWO books but she's the BEST character in the entire arc, hands down, above and beyond the rest of the cast. JUSTICE for Bumble!

Bright Stream She got fridged, killed in a shocking, gruesome way, with uncomfortable detail put on how the pregnant woman probably died slowly and was eaten alive, ripped to shreds by eagles... for Clear Sky's man pain. Clear Sky literally fucking broods in a moonbeam. All because Gray Wing tripped like an idiot in a horror movie. And it was a WASTE. Bright Stream IS INTERESTING ALL ON HER OWN. Gray Wing was downplaying Clear Sky emotionally pressuring her into leaving, dismissing him going "I HOPE YOUR HUNTING SUCKS SO YOU REALIZE YOU SHOULD FOLLOW ME" with a 'good humored flick of his tail,' thirsting over how attractive Bright Stream is and how lucky Clear Sky is to have her as a mate while Bright Stream is obviously feeling upset about how her shitty husband has been talking to her. And it's actually insulting how the writers never acknowledged this-- that Clear Sky has ALWAYS been manipulative. From BOOK ONE. And then she has these absolutely bizarre Angel Fetus Children that Gray Wing coos about on his death bed, because god for-fucking-bid a single scene go by that doesn't become Clear Sky-centric.

Snake This arc tries SO bad to make this fucking guy a villain. SO hard. They describe his stinky breath and his bad teeth and how icky and gross he is, and they make him kill Frost during Clear Sky's Murder Party as if I'm supposed to blame HIM instead of the ESTABLISHED MURDERER WHO ORDERED HIS MEN TO KILL EVERYONE. Then, they choose HIM to stand up against Clear Sky after he let a murderous evil tyrant into his group against all warnings. And they treat that like it's a bad thing. Like SNAKE is the one who's awful for TELLING CLEAR SKY TO SHOVE HIS HALFHEARTED APOLOGY UP HIS UGLY ASS They even make him follow One Eye's evil lackey in the next book, like they're trying to slander him in hindsight. "Oh nonono, ackshually, Snake wasn't principled at all. He wasn't making a point about how Clear Sky let One Eye into his group and that he's sick of following tyrants. DONT WORRY. THE ONLY PEOPLE WHO DON'T LIKE CLEAR SKY ARE EVIL :)" FUCK you. I'm going to stan Snake OUT OF SPITE.

Tall Shadow While I still can't stand what they did with her and Bumble... she's an interesting character and done SO DIRTY because the writers don't fucking respect women at all They chose to have her go through a "self-confidence arc" because everyone nonsensically HATES her and just wants Gray Wing to lead, where she has to choose taking care of her burn-victim brother over leading because her "emotions" are getting in the way, only to clear up once her family is fucking dead because the books KEEP INSISTING that women in particular can't be leaders if they have an important emotional connection. And THEN they have Shaded-fucking-Moss, her predecessor, descend from heaven after Clear Sky's Murder Party to tut-tut at her for killing someone after she was THROWN INTO A CROWD OF PEOPLE TRYING TO MURDER HER, because I'm DEAD serious, god forbid women do anything. Clear Sky's got a direct body count of 3 at this point, PLUS the indirect body count of a dozen people killed on his orders, but ACTUALLY Tall Shadow is the one who deserves the fucking scolding. INSANE. And YET. She remains a practical person. She's diplomatic when she can be, and harsh when she cannot. Against all common sense, she LISTENS to Gray Wing's AWFUL advice to do Just One More peaceful meeting where maybe THIS time sucking Clear Sky's toes will work, because she is fair. I cannot help but love her.

Milkweed I haven't gotten to her in my read-along yet but she's done so dirty, too. It makes me sick. She's revealed to be a friend of Misty and distrusts the Mountain Cats for, you know... stealing all the native cats' land and murdering her friend? But don't worry, Gray Wing's here to do Clear Sky Apologetics and convince her to go join his group. While there she gets verbally accosted by Leaf, a recurring background asshole, who says she's useless, her stupid babies are stealing his food, and that when she gets sick she's just keeping the whole camp awake with her coughing. So anyway, because the Erins LOVE domestic abuse, they get shipped together lmaoo. Normal book series.

Bumble, Bright Stream, Snake, Tall Shadow, Milkweed. I also have feelings about Wind Runner though, and what they did with her. But GOD, explaining my complicated thoughts on Wind Runner would take a long time. She is both a favorite and also a symbol of several huge problems in WC.

[littlekohai77]

Hello 👋 can I pls request dating headcanons for Julian, Schnauder and Duke Grane? Thank you ❤️

𝚂𝙾 𝚞𝚖 𝚑𝚒, 𝚊𝚗𝚘𝚝𝚑𝚎𝚛 𝚕𝚊𝚝𝚎 𝚛𝚎𝚜𝚙𝚘𝚗𝚜𝚎 𝚋𝚎𝚌𝚊𝚞𝚜𝚎 𝙸'𝚖 𝚊 𝚕𝚊𝚣𝚢 𝚕𝚒𝚕 𝚜𝚑𝚒𝚝.

🅆🄰🅁🄽🄸🄽🄶🅂: uhm bad writing, not proofread, a bit toxic, lots of baby fever, ooc kinda

*･ﾟﾟ･*:.｡..｡.:*ﾟ:*:✼✿　　✿✼:*ﾟ:.｡..｡.:*･ﾟﾟ･*

🚩🅳🆄🅺🅴 🅶🆁🅰🆈🅽🅴:

✾I've done this mf before but ya know what, maybe I can bust out some more.

✾So let's start with before Jiwoo.

✾before he got defeated by Jiwoo and his ego took the most massive hit ever, he honestly wasn't half bad.

✾made time in his tight schedule to spend time with you.

✾not just training but also just for hanging out with you.

✾you guys binge watch horror movies because he thinks romcom is dumb (it's actually because he starts giggling like a fucking high school girl whenever something cheesy happens)

✾he tries to act all macho and shit during horror movie nights but he isn't as slick as he might like to think. Yeah, you very obviously notice the way he jumps slightly whenever the ghost pops on the screen out of nowhere.

✾I mean how could you not, you're basically using him like a chair. And he isn't bothered by that.

✾cause after a long day of training, he's sore as hell and your body on him feels like a weighed blanket that makes him forget the pain and numbs the soreness.

✾kind of reserved and not into PDA. Like the most you'll get out of his is probably hand holding and he barely tolerates that.

✾but when he's jealous or feels like he needs to show people (and you) who you belong to, he gets 𝐁𝐨𝐥𝐝.

✾straight up spanks your ass whenever he's passing by.

✾drags you into the bathroom and latches onto you like a leech.

✾leaves hickies in the most conspicuous places known to man.

✾literally everyone is staring at you and he's acting so fucking smug when he sees the guy that has been getting too close to you burn with anger.

✾literally a petty baby.

✾will get so mad if you don't let him do your eyeliner.

✾and if you watch a show alone that you two were supposed to watch together but he was absent because he was going around the world whopping ass.

✾will not look at you. Act like you betrayed him and will be glued to the opposite side of the couch muttering about how evil you are.

✾might flirt with others to make you jealous.

✾will not tolerate the same treatment.

✾very whiny and bitchy.

✾will say some really harsh things when he's mad.

✾it's likely that you guys are already betrothed or about to be.

✾will train you if you're weak.

✾if he loves you enough, he might, rare chance, might share a teensy tiny bit of force control. Especially if you're weak as hell.

💍🅹🆄🅻🅸🅰🅽 🅿🅰🆃🆁🅸🅲🅺:

✾have done him before too but eh.

✾let's talk about before Jiyoung because honestly... He changes so much and it gets so depressing for you.. .

✾anyway ahem.

✾at some point in his life. When he was probably quite young, he probably hated you cause he had to marry you when he got older. But obviously he later found out how awesome you were and fell for you.

✾literally the best boyfriend ever.

✾learns how to braid if you have long hair because he adores it and wants to play with it.

✾will also learn how to do makeup. Because he wants to spend even more time engaged with you and he gets a bubbly feeling in his chest when you smile at him and tell him he did a good job (bro got a praise kink).

✾him doing good and making you pretty makes you happy and you being happy makes him HAPPY HAPPY.

✾will let you paint his nails. Will get upset if you don't use gray, black or some dark color because that's his aesthetic. But don't worry, he won't whine even if you use that puke green shade, but there will be a depression cloud around him.

✾will not mind if you try to put makeup on him but will try to make sure that he ends up looking presentable and somewhat professional.

✾you forgot your coat? Oh don't worry suddenly it's too hot in here and he doesn't need his coat anymore.

✾he might get a bit peeved if you puke on his favorite suit, but he won't stay mad for long because those obviously don't matter when he has you and also because he's holding your hair back as you throw out dinner into the toilet pan.

✾dates with him are mostly domestic because he likes the comfort of his home and just being with you without those nosy officials breathing down your necks.

✾cooks for you on every occasion. He doesn't care about gender norms, he loves you and he likes keeping his darling healthy and happy with good food. Also because he's a bit paranoid about your safety and is scared that you might get poisoned.

✾will let you put silly clips in his hair and make him look ridiculous but only in the privacy of his or your rooms. He does not want his brother to have blackmail material.

✾if he somehow ends up looking professional, fashionable and good though, he might wear it to work.

✾is literally so jealous whenever you baby his brother.

✾literally glaring holes into the poor guy's back as you talk with him, bring him sweets and just treat him oh so well.

✾gets seriously upset when you come to visit them and hug Ian first.

✾will give you silent treatment for 2 hours before caving.

💪🆂🅲🅷🅽🅰🆄🅳🅴🆁:

✾he's kinda hard to do cause we don't really know much about him but I'll try.

✾I'm kinda stuck on one thing though. Which is, I feel like he doesn't have the patience or time to le le lay lay and play around with you and if you guys met a long time ago, like 3-5 years, he'd be married to you by now but he also might play around.... But if he did, he would break up in like 1-7 months. So if he's been with you longer, you can probably assume that he plans on wife-ing you up.

✾very reluctant to get into a relationship with you if you're weak.

✾because 1. He has a reputation.

✾2. He doesn't want his enemies to target you.

✾if you're strong than he's less reluctant but still a bit paranoid of you getting targeted.

✾makes a brutal example out of anyone who tries to touch a single hair on your head.

✾will slap your ass in public, if his underlings are around? Even better.

✾instructs Roist to take care of you and protect you even if you're wayy stronger than the boy.

✾he says it's free training opportunity for him.

✾this man doesn't quite care about his apprentices. But when he sees you treating Roist like he's your son, treating his injuries, helping him train, interacting with him casually, it makes something warm in him bloom and spread throughout him.

✾literally starts imagining how you would look like with you belly full of kids, all round and cute, waddling around and whining, so fucking cute. (Tits filled with milk 👀)

✾but it wears off easily too when he remembers how troublesome children are. And how low his patience is when dealing with them.

✾he thinks that maybe he doesn't actually want babies, maybe he just like the image of you knocked up and full because that makes you just so 𝙃𝙞𝙨.

✾but he also feels a sort of longing in him whenever he watches you interact with teens or toddlers. Maybe with you, he doesn't mind having mini demons running around.

✾will train you if you're weak and help you grow strong and then date you.

✾he's self aware of his physic and in turn, treats you like a porcelain doll.

✾likes to take you shopping. Loved to see you all dolled up just for him. Just loves to spoil you in general.

✾it comes off as a huge surprise but he's great at cooking.

✾but he mostly chooses to lay back and let you do the cooking because he loves the sight of you wearing aprons.

✾if you're a healer, he sometimes intentionally get flesh wounds. They're pretty harmless as they don't have that much harmful residual powers. Because he loves being fretted over by you, his lil baby as you nag him to be more careful.

✾no matter how pissed he is, he will never harm you. He loves you too much for that.

✾if you're a fan of muscles, he'll have a huge blush on his face as he laughs and boosts about himself. In the privacy of his room of course.

✾likes to carry your stuff for you. No matter how light it is.

✾lives for seeing you in his clothes.

✾intentionally puts things out of your reach so that you would have to call him over to get it down.

✾will get moody if you call for Royst or use a ladder to get it your.

✾magically all ladders have vanished over night after you did that.

✾and suddenly Royst has become deaf because he acts like he doesn't hear you and runs off.

✾if Royst makes a silly mistake, he's looking your way for help and Schnauder immediately gives up trying to punish him because you'll be sad and pouty and huffy, he doesn't want that.

✾regrets introducing you to Royst.

✾will be on his ass the moment you look away.

✾please never leave him for Royst's safety. (Dw he won't die)

✾loves cuddling you, especially with you laying on top of him with all your weight on him.

✾insecure about your weight? Girly, he can carry you in one hand alone. Don't you worry about being too heavy.

[iwonderwh0]

Watching John Wick for the first time and commenting in real time because I'm watching alone.

Spoiler: I HATED it. Below I just bitch about how much it sucks.

Oh, Green Goblin!

What a cute dog, I hope nothing bad will happen to her (unfortunately I know it will)

Is it even safe for dogs to eat cereal with milk?

(speaking Russian) <- man those people speak with such a horrendous accent I wouldn't even recognise this language if it wasn't for subtitles.

Stop speaking "russian" it's so bad! It's not even just accent, it's grammatically so terrible it doesn't make any sense 😭

It always buggs me when some multi-million budget movie inserts some characters that speak languages other than english and do such a shit job at making it actually be the language they're trying to use. Like come on, is it so hard to find one person who speaks the language you want to use to ensure that it actually sounds accurate? I wonder if it is as bad with movies where side characters speak Chinese/Japanese or is it just European/Slavic languages that get this treatment.

Man, this is painfully bad. I mean, if a character speaking foreign language has this amount of active presence on screen why would you as a producer/director allow it to be this bad, it sounds like simlish. It's goofy.

I can't watch it seriously hearing them speaking.

I too get an urge to kill while cleaning up the floor.

Those subtitles are wrong, it's not what he said. He made some incomprehensible nonsense of noises.

I feel like I'm having a stroke hearing them.

I love multilingual movies, but this is not it. If it's so hard to find someone speaking Russian, make them speak some other language that you can actually show accurately.

Of course they drink vodka what else.

Fuck off, this is lazy.

"Baba Yaga" my ass, do you even know what it means? It's a folklore creature of what essentially is an old woman. Not just a boogie man. It's kind of a weird nickname to have as a man.

Fuck, even when they speak actual words they make inaccurate subtitles. THAT'S NOT WHAT HE SAID. This song isn't even about "Baba Yaga" you fools

This is what happens when people go for vibes of foreign countries instead of actually doing any kind of research.

I can't watch any kind of media in peace, dbh brain rot will find me anywhere.

Maybe it's because I'm now holding a prejudice, but even outside of this absolutely terrible job at making character portray Russian, this looks like a parody of a blockbuster rather than a blockbuster in itself

They're singing a fucking lullaby in a pool party 😭😭😭 just normal russian-villain behaviour

I'm sorry I just didn't expect it to suck this bad

Okay, that action sequence isn't that bad.

Maybe this movie would be better if they would just fight without ever attempting to talk out loud. Just grunting and moaning.

I'm not a medic but I suspect it's just as infuriating for them to watch this movie as it is for someone who understands Russian or at the really least knows what it sounds like.

You're telling me, a sniper with a fixed target missed? I'm starting to suspect that maybe it's not that John Wick is invincible but just the people who are after him are all incompetent morons.

"You were always a pussy" <- that was so unnecessary and goofy.

How the hell is this movie rated as high as it is, it's "The Room" of action movies, I swear. So bad to the point of almost going a full circle and becoming good.

Even as an action movie it's not that good either.

Other than Keanu Reeves there are literally no interesting nor likeable characters on screen. Everyone else are unremarkable and bland. Except for Marcus.

Maybe I'm missing something. Maybe I should be looking at it like a comedy, a parody. Because it really isn't good in itself.

THIS REALLY IS A COMEDY, isn't it?

I mean a dude literally got a headshot with a "wasted" gta sound effect.

Well, it was bad. It's a meme, but it's not really a good movie. Or I just don't think it is.

Surprisingly, "comedy" isn't listed among genres.

A BLADE RUNNER REFERENCE WHAT

[that-was-a-bit-stupid-of-you]

I find it amusing that you hate James when we don’t even know his pov. We only got to see Snapes memories and since he hated James his memories would have been the worst thing James did. What James did was wrong and there’s no excuse for it but we don’t even know all the stuff Snape and his friends did to all the other students. Snape wasn’t innocent and neither was James. James at least grew up but Snape never did and stayed a bitter arsehole that bullied children until the day he died. Yes he did some good but it was all for Lily (his obsession with her was creepy and not romantic at all). Now let’s compare Sirius and Draco. Sirius came from a similar family as Draco with similar beliefs. Yes he was a bully to Snape but he went against his family and their believes and chose good over evil. Draco on the other hand has been put on a pedestal by fandom probably because they haven’t read the book and liked the actor who played him in the movies. He was a coward, blood-ist, narcissistic bully who thought his family status gave him the right to look down upon everyone. The only good thing he did was lie about Harry being Harry Potter. After that though what did he do in Room of Requirement? If Harry hadn’t saved his ass he would have been a fried ferret. Now Remus, the worst thing he did was not stop James and Sirius from bullying Snape but Snape wasn’t always innocent. Are you telling me that once Snape found out about Remus being a werewolf he didn’t shove it in his face? If someone made fun of my friend for disease you better believe I’m going to stand up for them and take this bully down. The Marauders may come off as bullies but they fought for the light until their last breath. You’re forgetting all the good things they did and letting one memory shape their entire lives. Snape was the reason Harry lost his parents so he should have done everything to protect Harry it was the least the slimy git could have done. Lily and James missed out on Harry’s life because of Snape. Hell Snape should have gone and checked on him when he was the Dursley’s since he was the reason Harry had to live with them but no he chose to bully a child instead because he looked like his father and then ripped a picture of Harry and Lily and a letter she wrote for Sirius. Real mature. And really creepy.

Funny how marauder stans can never defend James without bringing the things that Snape did.

See, that might work on a Snape stan, but someone who proudly loathes both of them, it ain't working on me.

(Now I'm gonna go with this point wise cuz I love organizing shit)

We only got to see snape's memories...the worst thing that James did.

In swm, James and Sirius literally tried to choke him on soap, hung him upside down in the air, showed his underwear to the jeering crowd and then sexually assaulted him. If that is the worst thing james can ever do, then why would you support his actions?

James grew up and snape stayed bitter

That's called fucking victim blaming. James grew up from what? Bullying other people? Sexually assaulting others? Ruining someone's life because they exist? That's literally the most basic thing he could have done to not be a fucking jerk. And as for Snape, you cannot expect someone to just "grow up" when they have been traumatized for the most part of their lives??? You cannot go and tell a trauma victim "it's been years, just get over it" because they can't. They fucking can't.

Also, please tell me when exactly did James grow up? He continued to bully snape, even behind lily's back, till 7th year. And then? If James grew up, he should have apologized to snape. Where did he do that? I don't support snape's treatment of students at all, which is why I hate him, but James was a bully till he died, and he never grew up.

Comparison between sirius and draco

If you compare someone with draco, 9/10 cases they come out looking good. Cuz it's fucking draco. He's a typical "high school bully" stereotype. That's it.

Just because sirius was not a bigot when it came to wizard classism and bloodism, doesn't mean he was a good person. That's called being a decent human being. Yall marauders fans always praise them for doing the literal bare minimum. Nothing changes the fact that sirius was a bully and was just as bad as James. So don't come and tell me he's a good person, cuz he doesn't even fall in the category of decent. Also he literally tried to MURDER snape. USING remus. He had no problem sacrificing his friend's life so that he can kill another person who did nothing. In his teens. What the fuck.

Defense of remus shit

"Snape tormented remus about his lycanthropy" show me where. Cuz what I see is that he kept it a secret (bare minimum, shouldn't be appreciated) and also gave potions to him so that the transition is better. If you can find a single place where snape bullied or even insulted remus for his condition. Secondly, nothing snape does can justify him getting hung upside down, choked on soap and getting sexually assaulted in front of a jeering crowd. And remus supporting it is pretty much the same as doing it.

The marauders did good things

The marauders did good things for each other. They fought in a war. So? Does that cancel out their bad, which is much more than the good? No. Snape fought too, even tricking voldemort, does that cancel out the bad he did? You have already said it doesn't for you, so. Just because someone does a few good things doesn't mean that it erases out the millions of bad things they did.

And the rest is you shitting on snape, which idgaf about cuz I hate him.

Now go fuck yourself.

[milimeters-morales]

for this ask meme: miles morales?

hope ur having a good day btw!!! <3

-AAUAAUGGH. I LOVE HIM SO MUCH. ACROSS ALL SPIDER-MAN MEDIA HE IS MY NUMBER ONE!!!! I AM SO ANNOYING ABOUT HIM ^_^ and thank you i hope you are also having a good day/night!!

-Ganke and only Ganke. obviously! that’s his ride or die. that boy raised his baby sister at age 17 for like 20 years when the rest of the family was killed, and then killed himself and an evil clone of Miles to save Brooklyn and i am ALWAYS thinking about that. Even in the og comics Ganke is a real one, saying “okay you should be spider-man!” to “you can stop and take a break you know” and literally just being the best. he and miles stick with each other even when they do questionable/bad shit to each other, it’s just very sweet to see them overcome it all.

-miles and lana friendship save me miles and lana friendship. it would be him and kamala but they have a secret third thing going on (though i swear i said this in a post already). but yeah i see him and lana as nearly-sisterly, but in a bff way, not a familial way. does that make sense?

-now i am truly not sure if this is unpopular bc i only use tumblr, but i HATE that fucking sunflower song it is so annoying and it’s everywhere that Miles is and that’s like stabbing me with several needles. it’s only associated with him bc he sang it and it was in the movie, but tells us NOTHING about him. sure, he likes a SONG. he got the “character boiled down to food they ate once” treatment right there i SWEAR. it’s in everything and it drives me up the wall. why not talk about his powers!!! his skills!!! the actual cool shit he can do!!

-I wish he’d say nigga just once. just once. it doesn’t matter which version of miles says it. USM Miles can say it. The one from the toddler show can say it i don’t care. please it would heal something in me

[grayscaleskies]

My last post got long so ROUND TWO BABY

-OMFG THEY LITERALLY REMOVED 'IF LIFE WERE A WOMAN SHE WOULD BE MY WIFE' FROM THE SONG I'M SCREAMING they really said he's GAY gay

-Okay I hated I Like Life I'm sorry I'm probably just biased but it genuinely sounded off key for most of the song and I miss the deeper tones

-Okay now I'm frustrated the story is set in 1843 and sure not everything has to be entirely period accurate but they really gave it the Disney treatment of putting a ridiculous amount of modern looks/technology for. Seemingly no reason? Like it looks jarring

-Oh I really like Hela's design (Fred's wife)

-Very sad the party at Fred's is so short and we just get the speech it kinda kills the point of showing Scrooge

-I'm sorry but the dialogue in this movie. Who wrote this. It's so awkward to listen to I feel like I'm being told this story like I'm a child

-OKAY I ACTUALLY PREFER THIS VERSION OF 'ON A BEAUTIFUL DAY' Tiny Tim in the 1970 version could Not Sing but this actually sounds quite nice

-Maybe I'm picky but I believe Present saying that there are shadows of Tiny Tim's death is a really important line and I'm upset they removed it

-The moon becoming a red droning clock is pretty cool ngl

- PRESENT FUCKING. TURNS INTO YET TO COME???? WHAT???? THE FUCK????

-AND SO DO THE FUCKING FAIRY THINGS I STFG THIS MOVIE

-I LITERALLY THINK THIS YET TO COME DESIGN IS SUPER COOL WHY DID THEY HAVE PRESENT TURN INTO THEM LIKE THEY'RE THE SAME BEING WHY WHY WHY

-Thank God they still don't speak

-Super weird narrative choice to have Scrooge still being like 'I don't see why I have to change' at this point it kinda undermines the point if they only thing that gets him to change is fear for his death???

[steveharrington]

But we’re not told WHY they’re vecna’d. There’s no reason why vecna targets traumatized teens EXCEPT to make it even more horror-movie-ish. Why do they get trash compacted like that specifically? It’s implied that’s how vecna a powers work but why? No idea.

The show has left so many unanswered questions already and this new element (vecna itself!) just over complicates everything

And I’m actually kind of pissed bc Patrick gets vecna’d and we know almost nothing about him. But stranger things… hates poc

I actually kind of hate Chrissy because of how differently she (pretty white girl) was treated from Patrick (black boy). And. her eating disorder existed SOLELY for exploitative purposes just to cause an emotional reaction it’s not something that adds to her as a character it’s just there to freak the audience out, meanwhile other REAL LIFE ACTORS are being forced to starve themselves for the roles. We get it eating disorders are scary good thing they’re not real! /s

Acting like this new girl will be important focusing on her ed only to kill her off in the most horrific way possible… i don’t like it it feels exploitative especially of a real world problem this show is absolutely complicit in spreading

We got a LOT less development for Fred than chrissy and didn’t fucking. Languish in such a triggering topic I think he was the happy medium.

Regardless the focus on traumatized teens with no other similarities was already so random they could have just picked literally anyone with no special backstory and it would have worked just as well? At the end of the day Chrissy ONLY matters as motivation for Jason, who only matters as motivation for Eddie ( and since Eddie’s death did nothing like. It didn’t seem like he was saving Dustin’s life or anything) who only matters to make Dustin kind of sad? She died for man pain except the ultimate man pain was for some guy she never even met

Chrissy isn’t a person or a character she’s a bafflingly written INTENTIONALLY TRIGGERING and misogynistic plot device with an outrageous amount of minute details they could have given to any of the real characters. They didn’t have to spend 10 minutes pretending she mattered only to beat her to death with a rock and then run over her a few times for good measure

well first of all i am no authority on the topic of whether or not chrissy's struggles with her ed were done correctly and therefore i will not speak on it because its really....not my place as someone who hasn't experienced that!

as for why vecna targets people with trauma specifically, i think it serves a greater narrative purpose and that's depicted best through max's arc this season. vecna's whole backstory as henry shows that he was obviously traumatized himself by brenner and when he appeals to chrissy, fred, and max he attempts to persuade them to just give up/join him/etc because it's easier than carrying on. he's using their trauma against them. and then when max is faced with this threat of losing her life to vecna, it motivates her to want to get better and want to stop isolating herself from lucas and the group, she literally says "i don't want to go, im not ready" and it kinda overall like. saves her life! vecna acts as a narrative tool to explore mental health and trauma and guilt. imo it's much much MUCH more impactful for our characters to overcome him through their bonds and their desire to live despite what they've been through than like.....killing a monster of the week

obv you dont have to agree with me and that's fine but i don't think chrissy is like...a misogynistic charicature in the slightest. like i said before i really don't think chrissy's treatment in the show was uniquely different than fred's or even max's. i don't really understand how chrissy's trauma was "languished in" any more than fred's? i feel like they got equal screentime and fred's vecna vision was just as brutal as chrissy's, even if they talked about two entirely different topics. and if im being completely honest (again not trying to be rude or demean your view of the show, but you did send this ask to me personally so im going to give my honest opinions back) i think referring to chrissy as a "plot device" and not a "real character" is intentionally reading the show in bad faith.

this season is a horror season. people die like they do in any slasher movie. i understand if the vecna plotline isn't for everyone because like yeah watching characters who are already suffering die very tragic deaths is hard! but i think the point of vecna like i said before is to personify trauma, guilt, and shame to allow our characters to overcome those feelings. chrissy's death worked both to establish what vecna does and to involve eddie. but i dont think that automatically makes her a "prop" or a "plot device" because she's given a personality, she's given a lot of thought and care from the actress, she's given people who mourn her. i think it was genuinely one of the sweetest moments in the whole show when eddie dedicated his little guitar solo to her because it showed that her death affected him and in motivating him to want to kill vecna and save his friends from her same fate, it had meaning

[ryukang1995]

Why Mortal Kombat Legends: Battle of the Realms is trash

Earlier, I shared a post saying that I fucking hated Mortal Kombat Legends: Battle of the Realms...I guess I should explain why that is the case.

Simply put, it's a rushed and overstuffed mess.

This "movie" has a lot of the same issues we criticize both Mortal Kombat: Annihilation and the live-action reboot for. The biggest example is the fact that they cram in so many characters, and give them no kind of characterization as well as limited screen-time.

For example, tell me Jade's character and backstory without prior knowledge from the games...you can't, because she has none (besides being an Outworld goon), just like in Annihilation.

Li Mei is an Outworld loyalist with no spoken dialogue, and has one quick fight scene where she gets bodied by Sonya. It's literally the same kind of treatment that Nitara got in 2021, for fucks sake!

Reiko is in both this film and in the reboot, and while he's TECHNICALLY better here than in that film, it's not saying much since, again, he has no real character, and only serves as someone for Raiden to beat up.

Cyrax, Sektor and Smoke might as well be Triborg in the movie because they seem to share special moves with each other (example: Cyrax shoots missiles like Sektor when Cyrax never did that in the games).

It's unclear as to why Baraka is in this film since we saw a Tarkatan with the EXACT same design as him in Scorpion's Revenge get killed during his chase scene with Johnny Cage, and they don't even bother explaining it.

Kintaro is...about what I expected...not good, but Jax rips his arms out, and it's the goriest the heroes get against the villains in this movie (more on that later).

D'Vorah is trash, 'nuff said.

Kung Lao has even less of a character than he did in the reboot. He doesn't even have a single interaction with Liu Kang before he gets killed by Shao Kahn, which is his only major fight scene outside of the opening, by the way!

Stryker is pretty much the audience character since he's questioning everything, but again, he has very little character before he dies.

And frankly, our main characters are not much better...

Liu Kang is set up as being the one who will beat Shao Kahn, even though he got his shit wrecked by Goro in Scorpion's Revenge.

Sure enough, Liu Kang beats Kahn...but there is no kind of arc or build-up he goes through outside of constantly showing concern and emotion over Raiden and Kung Lao getting beat up and killed.

And by the time he fights Shinnok (again, more on that later), his victory comes off as hollow and unearned.

Raiden is a dumbass in this movie. I suppose it's better than how he was in the reboot, but again, not saying much. Much like in Annihilation, he gives up his godhood for practically no reason other than to serve as motivation for Liu Kang to win.

Johnny Cage is fucking grating to watch in this movie. He's not funny, he spends most of the film simping on Sonya (much like Scorpion's Revenge, except to the 10th power), and he loses the first fight in the Outworld tournament to D'Vorah of all fucking people!

And he has such a shitty line of dialogue in the climax where he tells Sonya "all of this death and bloodshed was worth it just to meet you", and rather than telling him to fuck off and see a psychiatrist, she embraces him like the Tsundere she is in these films!

Sonya's character in this movie is literally "Johnny is not my boyfriend. Johnny is not my boyfriend". She only accepts him once she gets put in danger, and here comes Alpha Male Johnny to save the day...it's fucking pathetic.

Kitana has no character in this movie. Liu Kang and Raiden tell her that what she's fighting for is bad, and she suddenly turns on Shao Kahn just because of that.

Then she gets beat up by Shao Kahn, and chained to his arena so that Liu Kang can save her near the end.

I wouldn't say I hated Jax, but again, there was not much to him.

Same with Shao Kahn. I suppose it's better than Brian Thompson in Annihilation, but again, there was not much to him.

Shang Tsung is pathetic. Give me Cary-Hiroyuki Tagawa any day.

Sub-Zero is literally just rage boner. I get that his brother was killed, but that's literally his entire character before he buries the hatchet with Scorpion.

The best character in the movie is literally Scorpion, who actually matured compared to the previous film.

The movie tries to juggle multiple plot threads. You have the Outworld tournament, but you also have Scorpion and Sub-Zero trying to stop Shinnok and the Cyber Lin Kuei from getting the Kamidogu to resurrect The One Being, and the whole thing comes off as rushed and unfocused.

And again, the climax is literally a repeat of Annihilation with Liu Kang literally turning into a giant dragon to fight Corrupted Shinnok fused with The One Being...and I thought Ed Boon hated that film, despite being a creative consultant on THIS piece of shit!

The fight scenes suck. A lot of them last about 10 seconds, making them too brief to be enjoyed. The longest ones are Liu Kang vs. Shao Kahn, which is wannabe Dragon Ball Z, and the aforementioned Kaiju battle.

For some asinine reason, the villains get the goriest fatalities in the movie whereas the heroes barely kill them outside of random goons in certain scenes...and this is supposed to be Mortal Kombat!

It does not help that you have some really poor and inconsistent animation throughout, likely a result of them rushing the movie and slashing the budget.

If I have to be brutally honest, this is probably the worst Mortal Kombat movie, besides Annihilation, because of just how much this movie squanders, and even then, there were aspects of Annihilation I liked more than this turd (the simpler focus, the main characters were better, SOME of the fight scenes, and especially the soundtrack).

Do yourself a favor, just stick to the games, or watch the 1995 movie again.

[catastrophicmind]

Get to know me (take two)

I came across this little prompt and thought we could continue sharing about ourselves. Believe it or not, but I’m invested in y’all and would love to get to know everyone! 😁

Are you named after anyone?: No, but everyone assumes my parents are huge Allman Brother fans because my name is Melissa. When I asked my mom about it, she informed me that she, in fact, hates the Allman Brothers. She just thought the name was pretty.

When was the last time you cried?: Ooh, boy. About a month ago when I made amends to my mom for all the hell I put her through. We both cried like babies.

Do you have kids?: None currently. I’d actually prefer to be a dog mom. The thought of having mini versions of me roaming the Earth is quite terrifying.

Do you use sarcasm a lot?: It’s literally the only way I know how to communicate. I absolutely love sarcasm and dry humor.

What’s the first thing you notice about people?: Physically, I go for the eyes— they’re a window to the soul. I actually can read people very well. Someone’s eyes say a lot about who they are as an individual. I normally can accurately hone in on their intentions and emotions within the first five minutes of talking to them. I’m big on reading energy. Plus, I’m a sucker for pretty irises.

What’s your eye color?: Hazel to be vague. Normally they switch between green and gold depending on my mood. It’s actually pretty cool.

Scary movies or happy endings?: Scary movies hands down. Not a huge romance fan. I thoroughly enjoy reading fluffy fan fiction, but I’m not big on lovey-dovey movies. I need to be on the edge of my seat the entire time. I get bored watching people fall for each other over a two hour timeframe.

Any special talents?: Heh. I was in concert and marching band for eight years. I can play any type of symphonic instrument you put in front of me from a flute to a tuba. I specialize in reed instruments but that didn’t stop me from learning how to play them all. Also, I play by ear. You can play any song you wish and within thirty seconds, I can pick out the key and play it in its entirety without reading any sheet music. I actually wrote a lot of scores for the football game music.

Where were you born?: Good ‘ol Raleigh, North Carolina where I currently reside. I’ve lived up and down the East Coast, but always manage to make it back home. I don’t intend to leave this beautiful area any time soon.

What are your hobbies?: I’m actually pretty boring. I do a lot of writing and reading, I’m obsessed with music (you can almost always find me with my headphones in) and other lame adult things. I’m getting to an age where all I do is work and come home to relax. I try to keep a structured life. I’m horrendous to be around if I don’t plan my day out in advance.

Have any pets?: No, my lease won’t allow it. My mom still has our family Cockapoo, Cody, we brought home the summer of my Senior year. He may not live with me, but I love him immensely. He’s like the annoying little brother I never wanted and came to grow quite fond of.

What sports do you play/have played?: I was not a sporty gal. Did four years of marching band in high school. It was intense considering we were the top band in the state all four years. We’d travel to Grand Nationals every winter and place in the semi-finals for the country. I got to march on the Indianapolis Colts stadium— that was pretty fucking rad. Had me in phenomenal shape too. I used to be able to run a five-and-a-half-minute mile.

How tall are you?: I’m five-foot-seven-and-a-half. Sometimes I wish I could be petite like other girls, but it works in my favor when I want to reach something on the top shelf.

Favorite subject in school?: History and Psychology. I loved learning about anything to do with what happened in our country and the world long before we arrived. I also adore understanding the brain and why it functions the way it does.

Dream job?: Substance Abuse Counselor. I’d love to work in a treatment center to help individuals struggling with dual diagnosis. I have personally been fighting addiction since I was twenty. I’m coming up on a year of sobriety early March and my dream is to give back what was so selflessly given to to me in my time of need. I want to bring positive change to the world for addicts that believe there is no hope. It actually gives me butterflies thinking about it.

Tagging: @the-type-a @heysatanitsyourgirl @webui1tgwensface @sentimentalslut @plutosschild @honeynotgood @duncans-unibrow

[umbramatic]

Trust The Fungus

This is a review ramble thing of The Super Mario Bros Movie (the 2023 one, not the one from 30 years earlier the title is joking about, but more on the 1993 one later). There will be spoilers.

(You will see me using the word "cringe" a lot in this. Disclaimer: I do not actually believe in cringe culture at all in the slightest in ANY form, it's just a useful shorthand for a special sort of deep revulsion within the soul. Anyway.)

So like, we all went into this expecting cringe because Illumination, right? The animation studio that peaked with their FIRST MOVIE, Despicable Me, and has put the low in lowbrow ever since. The animation studio who actively animates on the cheap for profit margins. Those guys. 

But I, to start, want to report there are minimal amounts of cringe! Sure, "look at us, we're adorable" was cringe in the trailers and it's cringe here. Sure Mario hating mushrooms was a specific flavor (mushroom flavored?) of unnecessarily ironic that made me roll my eyes a bit even when the REST of the unnecessarily ironic humor didn't. But overall, it was good! Honestly I genuinely liked this movie a lot! 

You probably haven't heard of Monster Hunter: Legends Of The Guild, a low-budget animated Monster Hunter movie Capcom quietly pushed to Netflix when the live-action one turned out to be shit. I always thought that one wasn't that great as a movie on its own but unlike the live action one was fantastic at actually being a MONSTER HUNTER movie - sort of an inverse of the Dark Knight Trilogy's modern "good movie bad Batman movie" reputation. This one is honestly quite similar, even though I at least personally think it stands on its own better than Monster Hunter: Legends Of The Guild does. 

A large part of this is one of the movie's biggest strengths: the fanservice. And no I don't mean "Princess Peach in a bikini" fanservice. I mean THE LORE. There is soooooo much Mario lore here, and Nintendo homages, and different characters popping up left and right. 

Every time I saw a reference or cameo I, like many, was like

And that in a way being the main draw over the plot and characters WOULD be kind of a bad thing but it's just so much fun and there's so many of them I don't care. On a related note everything's so on brand, it again genuinely feels like a MARIO movie. We all know Nintendo's kind of the Disney Lite of the video game world in terms of being overly controlling - lost ROM sites and fan projects and such sure are testament to that huh - but here it kind of worked in their favor because they very obviously kept Illumination in line. You can bet your bottom dollar that Shigeru Miyamoto poured over every frame of this movie and if there was something he didn't like it got the Paper Mario treatment. 

Granted, we do start the movie with the Mario Bros living in real-world (if Nintendofied) Brooklyn, a take Nintendo is still apparently okay with despite Odyssey kinda sorta retconning it, and we see the Mario Bros having JOBS and a (a VERY Italian American, can confirm) FAMILY and it all feels akin to my gender and body dysphoria (Charles Martinet is Mario's dad though, that's really cute) but also it makes sense for the story they're trying to tell and it doesn't last long. 

I should talk about the cast. I was pretty chill with how everyone did. Sure they shouldn't have been stuntcasted this fucking hard in the first place. Sure Fred Armisen as Cranky Kong took some growing on me. Sure I have noted Sociopolitical Problems with Crisp Rat and they should have cast literally anyone who is less Problematic(tm). Burt everyone did fine for what they were. 

(Also say what you will about the Ironic(tm) humor, despite that kind of stuff Mario and Luigi's relationship feels real and genuine and I am here for it. I'm normally not THAT into same-gender sibling relations because that's not what I grew up with and NOW the gender situation is complicated but c'mon, they were cute.)

Also Jack Black got to sing. That alone made this movie worth seeing for me. The music was SUPER good when it's stuff like Bowser's singing and the cool remixed Mario tracks. The licensed music was a lot less necessary and in one case apparently replaced a perfectly good Donkey Kong remix  and almost all of it could have been cut... Aside from the I Need A Hero sequence, that was inspired. 

Speaking of Bowser. I like that they basically nudge nudge hint hint at Mario and Peach being an item but never actually do anything about it (just like the games!) whereas Bowser is UNDENIABLY horny on main for Peach and sees Mario as competition (also just like the games!) . Speaking of the references, they even use Bowser and Peach's Odyssey wedding outfits, which is cute. 

(Also can we make Girlboss Peach game canon please?)

This movie does have a sense of... "This world operates on video game logic. We will try to explain it but we will not JUSTIFY it" and I think that's neat. At first I thought that was a factor as to why this movie was less popular with critics than fans, but I went with my mostly non-gamer family (more on them later) and not only could they follow it fine, my mom told me after the movie she understood video games and video game logic BETTER after seeing this movie so I dunno. 

I will say. For a movie that is trying to distance itself from and replace the 1993 one as much as possible there are a lot of funny parallels. The Brooklyn origins leading to a secret portal beneath the city, Bowser's minions trying to isolate and strand our heroes, having One Toad In Particular help our heroes, the funky ass cars/karts, the princess of choice being more serious and also an isekai victim, the final fight being taken BACK to Brooklyn...  It's amusing. 

But overall I had fun. I want to see it again. I went to see it with my family and they enjoyed it too. Though if I had a nickel for every time a video game movie I saw on my birthday with my family that had a wedding scene that gets memed on by said family due to an upcoming wedding in said family I'd have two nickels. Which isn't a lot but it's weird it happened twice. Damn. Now I want Hollywood movies for every major Nintendo franchise that hasn't gotten one. And by "major" I mean "important enough to get into Smash". ROB and Game And Watch movies when? (More seriously I want Zelda and Fire Emblem and full-length Pikmin movies. God please.)

[kurokoros]

As we are talking about Steve's character rn, I completely agree with anything you said so far. To add to the whole s3/s4 treatment, I just hate the whole "babygirlyfication" by the fandom because of how s3/s4 was written. Like if I hear the word babygirl one more time. I think what annoys me the most about it is that in Steve's case, babygirl=stupid himbo loser, and ughh, I just hate it so much. Yes he wore that dumb sailor outfit but he hated it every second he had to be in it, but the fandom overlooks that completely and decided yeah Steve loves to dress feminine and all (mostly to pair him up with other characters like Eddie and to subject him into weird ship dynamics where he's like the submissive partner). I swear, ever since s3 people think Steve is so helpless in everything, they also act like he's a super virgin who just can't get anyone, which contradicts s1/s2 Steve. I mean, okay, he could have had a funk in s3 bc of Nancy, but the show over exaggerated it to a point it was so ooc. I think the scene I hated the most in s3 is his last one, where he needed Robin to get him the job at FV because apparently he hadn't seen any movie prior to this day (despite being a huge Tom Cruise fan). It's so annoying really because they simplified him so much. He could be such a great character with depth, but nope. And the fandom perpetuates this by making him the dumb babygirl his entire personality. You're literally one of the few people trying to pick up after s2 and develop him in a way that makes more sense than what the show did.

Other characters the show did dirty after s2 are Hopper (bc what was up with him in s3 like it was actually scary), Joyce, Mike, Jonathan (well actually he got fucked over by being Nancy's accessory since s2) and partially Dustin esp in s4. The writers needed a department that overlooks character contingency because those are not the same ones we watched in s1/s2. I love Stranger Things, I do, but my god, the wasted character potential sometimes keeps me up at night. I'm not a talented writer, I try my best, but even I would have come up with better storylines or at least make sure they stay the same characters.

The whole "babygirl Steve" thing makes me want to eat glass. Like, I get mad when I think about how they went the himbo route with Steve instead of continuing the "jerk with a heart of gold" characterization they had going for two seasons, and to see the fandom just constantly make "babygirl Steve!" jokes irritates the hell out of me. I don't want to be that bitch who says you aren't allowed to headcanon characters certain ways, or you aren't allowed to project on characters, but damn some of the Steve stans genuinely make me question whether or not they actually like him in the first place. Like... Steve is a masculine guy! But people saw that he has a haircare routine and cares about hygiene and decided that makes him feminine to fit a queer stereotype so they can ship him with the two most mediocre white boys the show could offer.

And it really is super fucking weird that S3 "babygirl" Steve is portrayed as less intelligent and more pathetic than he was in S1/2. It's infantilizing. And the sailor suit makes it worse. If I could change one thing about ST I would get rid of that stupid fucking sailor suit. The show really did just make Steve seem pathetic in S3, and it was done in a way that I just don't understand why anyone who actually likes Steve would enjoy what they did.

Along with the "Steve can't get a job on his own" (which doesn't make sense if he was apparently a trained lifeguard. this man would have actual references aside from his mother if that was the case) thing, I have a bone to pick with the recurring gag of "Steve doesn't get pop culture references". Like??? Steve was a popular kid in school??? He would know movies (if only because movies are a super common date activity and there's a theater in Hawkins).

I refuse to acknowledge S3-4 as canon in any of my fics because of how much I despise the way canon botched most of the characters. There was so much potential there, and instead they just made Steve a loser with no charm. The Duffers for sure need someone in charge of characters. And plot. And worldbuilding. And overall consistency.

Basically, the Duffers need to hire actually good writers and just stick to directing.

[bitchy-peachy]

Currently wearing a face mask in bed cos everything smells to me so intensely after my last infusion.

I hate this shit. I think the next infusion is my last. I definitely hope so cos these weird ass symptoms got me exhausted.

Also I gained so much water weight but can barely sweat it off in exercise cos I'm so doggone tired.

I did get hyper and clean the bathroom in my room at 3 am. Fucking rude earthbound spirits be waking me up at that time (yes I'm pissed) so I cleaned up the bathroom which thankfully exhausted me to sleep again.

Can't go to a cemetery until I'm over this treatment which sucks since I feel at peace there due to me having a death deity as my main deity. Despite him being a death deity he's actually healing me so it's not good to judge. He's also keeping my dramatic ass calm since he's got such a soothing gentle presence.

Yeah, I might look crazy to non-believers but this is a family thing 🤣. Well at least half of the family. The other half are... well they're those conservative christians.

Yes I can differentiate between a christian and a conservative one. (The conservative ones are assholes. Both my parents were assholes until I went to the "bad side" of the family which literally follow the old traditions)

Shockingly enough I married a christian but he's got an overly kind beautiful soul that balances my bruja ass out ☺️.

Ahhh my meds got me rambling again and oversharing.

But I can feel my body healing but the side effects suck so bad. I want my stamina back.

I did a reading and it said I'll be back to my old self by April of next year because that's when the after effects of my treatment are out of my body. It's the treatment that has me feeling like absolute shit now.

Watched some movies from Shudder earlier. Ate something for my anemia. Did laundry, bothered my relative about his meds and that he needs to stop doing shit when in recovery. But he's so stubborn and has me acting like his mom.

I don't like bickering with him so I hope he let's me take care of him as much as I'm able even with my symptoms 😫.