#i literally cannot w these two

[agentplutonium]

It’s currently two in the morning and i’m thinking about “sleepwalker” Sweetheart. Thinking of them waking up in the middle of the night, in a panic, mumbling about how they had a report due (they did not, and especially not at the ungodly hour they decided to wake up at). They’d start to get out of bed and that’s what would wake Milo. He convinced them that five more minutes in bed with him wouldn’t put them behind any, and that’s how he got them to lay back down and cuddle into him. Sometimes Milo wasn’t fast enough and they’d already be on their feet, but it just meant a tiny bit more effort to get them to come lay back down with him. Like this, he’s able to keep them in place so they don’t get up again. To aid their journey back to sleep, Milo would do one or multiple things to soothe them. This normally included humming some nameless tune, or gently tracing random shapes and lines across their skin, or perhaps he’d go into quiet rambles knowing how much Sweetheart liked hearing his voice, and, if the stealth was putting up a particularly hard fight, he’d go as far as to run a finger down the length of their nose softly. It was never very long before Sweetheart was back asleep, and Milo always felt some sort of pride that he was able to accomplish such a feat. Normally if Sweetheart is up and wanting to do something there was nothing that could stop them. But, over the years, Milo learned their habits inside and out, knowing when to push to get them to take a break and when to just stand back and be a safety net for when if they burn out.

[daughterthethird]

This time on: "Daughter Impulsively Does a Thing", local catgirl believes she could write a fanfic despite having literally zero experience in the writing department

[iholli]

me when all my selfships are very popularly shipped with other characters (I hate canon sharing)

[slttygeto]

the thing is, hanma IS a red flag. he WILL do toxic shit. but would he also be the best fuck of your life? absolutely.

[mokutone]

your art makes me wanna start testosterone

i can't read tone well, so this is either an incredibly touching ask, or an extremely funny one, and in the absence of confirmation: both!

i'm in a chatty mood, so i'll share some thoughts about testosterone and my art.

i liked being on testosterone a lot. i had an IM injection every two weeks (on tuesdays!) and because that's a sizeable dose every 14 days that slowly disperses, it can cause some mood fluctuations (every other friday i would have a crisis about not feeling like the world had a place for me in it) but even those were far more manageable than the ones that would come with my previous and current monthly hormone cycle (every month i spend a solid week thinking the world will never have a place for me in it)

It gave me a patchy little bit of scruff on my chin and a whispy mustache under my nose that still struggles on, despite adversity!

It redistributed my fat a little bit, but that's long since gone back to pre-T shape.

it lowered my voice! that hasn't changed :^)! even if i never go back on t, that won't change. it was the thing i most wanted, and its the one i'm most grateful for. Pre-T, I didn't speak much. I'm getting better and better at talking and getting more and more comfortable communicating with people because of it.

having been off t now for 3 years, i don't pass anymore—not as a cis man, or a cis woman, certainly not as anything approximating straight. if people look at me and see anything, i'd hazard a guess that they see me as A Queer (the noun—for all it's complicated connotations).

i'm not surprised that my art might make somebody want to start testosterone! a lot of my art was made out of the aching grief that came with being kicked off of testosterone, and how neatly that loss of autonomy over my own body knits in with yamato's loss of autonomy over his own.

how my body started doing things i disliked, how i didn't have the support necessary to access the healthcare i needed—how my inability to give myself what i needed made me feel as though i were trapped inside of myself and abandoned (by both myself and the world at large)

when i write comics about yamato as a trans man, i don't take away his testosterone, because that hits a little too close to home for me. for Ninja War Town Reasons, he has plenty of access to all the HRT he could ever need and nobody questions his need for it—instead, i project my own horrors onto the way Danzō defined his identity for him as a child, the way that Kabuto and Obito dehumanize him as an adult in their war efforts, and reduce him to the thing his body holds (the Mokuton). I give him a kneejerk compulsion to dehumanize himself (out of a feeling that he has a duty to his community to do so) and I give him a slow-growing resistance to that impulse (which comes out of a feeling that the people he loves would frown upon seeing him reduce himself like that)

it's dysphoria! it's not gender dysphoria, but it's a loss of self, and a need to reclaim it. it's a war between the hollow shell of a thing he thinks he has to be, and the vibrant and messy person beneath it that he is. it's a desperate need to say "this is who i am—only i can say it"

I enjoyed HRT a lot. it was a really useful tool in helping me feel like my body was my own, that i didn't have to fight it, that we were the same entity. It's not the only tool, but it was a really good one, and one day I hope to use it again.

(as for the being off of it—it's unpleasant, but i'm enduring! being somebody who now doesn't really pass as anything has put me in a weird and interesting position, where I'm constantly having to declare myself to people, because nobody knows what to make of me on any front. they don't know if i'm a man, a woman, nonbinary, nor even what age i am (Augh!!!!) it forces me to be brave and vulnerable more than I'm comfortable with—if I tell somebody I'm a man, there's no way that they will believe I'm cis, but I'm not about to recloset myself—and I don't think I could at this point anyway.)

(there's something fascinating about the position i find myself in, and while i'd leap back on t the moment that an opportunity presented itself to do so, i do feel like i'm experiencing something interesting and important in this weird zone i find myself in)

[skitskatdacat63]

Ik two days gone isn't a huge deal to other people but it is to me, since I feel like I woke up in a completely different world. It felt wrong to come back and blog and act like nothing happened, re: current events. I still feel pretty numb and empty about it all, along with many other emotions. I couldn't bring myself to look at any social media bcs it was like rubbing salt in the wound, and it still feels like its take a bit before I'm gonna be able to truly enjoy all the things I enjoy again. I was gonna write some long post about my feelings about it all but, I feel like atp I'd rather just try to indulge in what makes me happy I guess. Thankfully the fomo of not getting to commentate on all the F1 things that have happened have brought me out of the anxious slump I was in(new driver?? GPDA??? Zhou out??? Send me posts???)

On a completely unrelated note. Anyone interested in adoption?

[liquidstar]

and now for something stupid

[neige-leblanche]

i honestly think the stress of my job is bad for my health tbh

[sleebiebear]

this is my bi-monthly 'i miss arcane' post hi. i miss arcane. i am not ready for the person ill revert back into when s2 drops

[saetoru]

my whole fyp on tik tok is ab palestine. makes me physically sick to watch it all

[hauntedtotem]

ppl when they find out teenagers act like teenagers 😱

[marblebees]

It rlly just pains me seeing some people’s political analysis on here………i really dont wanna be mean but its time to unfollow some ppl i think

[bright-and-burning]

no but genuinely thank you so so so so much to everyone who has been so terribly kind to me while i was away <3 u all mean the world <3

[tenwhiteandalusians]

pertaining to the idea of tenax’s band of strays i do think it’s touching that the kids are the ones who saved him and waited outside the door to make sure he’s okay. for all tenax claims to be harsh and cruel it’s a fine indicator of his character that the kids won’t rest without him and are there every time he’s in danger.

[vanweezer]

one year ago yesterday i was cussing out a customer for wasting my time at 7 am at self checkout because he decided that was the day he would come into the store follow me around making odd requests while im very actively Doing Stuff and then give the one cashier we had on duty a hard time because he didn't wanna pay for some raspberries. i told him to get out of the store and he was like "what are you the manager?" and i told him to get out before i called someone (never done that in my life) and i took his stuff to the produce room in the back and when i came back he was still selling out and someone managed to sell him some wretched thing

[astrxealis]

merry christmas btw i kinda forgot to say it ere at all oopsies >_< i hope you all had/have a wonderful holiday season or week or day or month regardless of your religion and if you celebrate christmas !!!!!

i got 'the end of everything' by katie mack for xmas (i begged my parents lol) bcs i finally saw it in a bookstore after months of looking for it that i just Fell to the ground ..... i love astrophysics i love space i love science. i also love u all