#i literally am so mad at how this turned out but whatever it's fine (it's not)

[grumfield]

When I am gone Please forgive the wrong that I might have done to you What pain there might have been Will now be passed And my spirit will be home

[rachelsfav-queer]

Missing Scene

Enid: Oh my gosh, she is just SO INFURIATING! Like does she seriously just not realize that her actions affect other people? Or does she just not care? I mean seriously! How could someone be so… soo… RAGH SO OBLIVIOUS?!

Yoko: *flipping through her alchemy textbook* Yeah, seriously. Some people.

Enid: And why does she have to be so… fricking heartless about it?! I mean, my feelings matter too! Surely more than some stupid “investigation” or whatever the flip! Right?

Yoko: *yawning* Totally, girl. You deserve respect too.

Enid: Why doesn’t she realize that I’m just trying to help her? I’m on her side! I want her to be able to figure this all out, cause she’s like, really really smart even though she’s so stupid sometimes but in like, a sorta endearing way where she’s trying to help but doesn’t realize the full consequences of her actions or that she’s hurting people. I mean, maybe if she thought some of these things through a little more, she’d try to find better ways cause she doesn’t actually like hurting people, at least people she cares about, cause again, she’s kinda sweet like that.

Yoko: *looks up from her textbook, raises eyebrow* Wait, huh? Are we still talking about the same thing?

Enid: *ignores Yoko* And like, she does have a soft side underneath all the spiky death traps she puts around herself. She totally felt guilty about Eugene, even though it wasn’t her fault. And she really does try to make sure I’m comfortable, even if it’s a little inconvenient for her. And she absolutely does have a protective side to her, like when she put herself in front of me whenever the monster tried to attack us. It was really kinda cute and nice when she made sure I got out safe first.

Yoko: *squints her eyes suspiciously* Huh… yeah…

Enid: Ugh, but she doesn’t really take good care of herself. Hmph, knowing her, she totally forgot to eat a proper meal today. Mmm and I bet you like ten bucks she hasn’t drank enough water today either. Oh jeez, if I’m not there to make sure she eats something, then she’s just gonna work herself into the ground on this investigation and is probably gonna pass out. Oh no, and what if she passes out and hits her head on something?! WHAT IF THING ISN’T THERE TO GET HELP? HOW WOULD HE EVEN CARRY HER? HE’S JUST A HAND!

Yoko: Am I missing something, or aren’t you supposed to still be upset with her about the whole emotional manipulation thing?

Enid: I am mad at her, Yoko! But she still needs sustenance! After all, she’s all alone up there now! Oh, she’s probably just curled up all sad and lonely and oh my gosh that’s so sad. *tearing up*

Yoko: Girl, we’re literally in the room right below her. I’m sure she’ll be fine. You? I’m starting to question that. *under her breath* Talk about whipped, holy shit.

Enid: I need to find some way to check up on her. Maybe I can ask Thing? No no, that’s mean to use her own family against her. Oh, I got it! I’ll just say I forgot my nail polish! That way I can check to see if she’s eaten! And I technically won’t be going back on my word, right? Cause I’m technically only going back to get something! Aha, it’s a perfect plan!

Yoko: *under her breath, turning back to her textbook* So fucking whipped.

(Day 10, Prompt 10 of Wenclair-Tober! Sorry this was so long lol. Also yeah, everyone talks about how affected Wednesday was by the argument, but nobody talks about how Enid was affected lol. Girlie was in the same building and still couldn’t stay away from her hot goth “roomie” and came back THREE times lmaoooo. Even though she was supposedly so upset with Wends lol. Gomez behavior.)

[dr-spectre]

WE DID IT!!!!!!!

THANK YOU SO MUCH EVERYONE!!!!! This is such a big milestone. Halfway until 1000 followers... that's absolutely insane!!

This will be the last follower update until we reach 1000. But, I wanna share something special with you all and get rather personal...

So, about a year ago, I wanted to learn how to draw because I was feeling depressed about "not being productive enough." Basically I got sucked into the bullshit productivity self help stuff that wants to turn your life into a cold calculated work obsessed nightmare, rather than living in the moment due to fear mongering about the future and how "if you don't grind now you WILL be a failure and die alone and get no pussy." (No wonder I picked Team Present for the Grand Fest...)

Plus I dropped out of uni at the time and welp, to put it lightly, I was feeling fucking god awful and I was scared into basically "putting in the hard work" by all these self help channels and other bullshit online. Whatever the FUCK that vague shit means, my autistic brain still doesn't get it.

It was BY FAR the worst period of my life, but, at least I tried to do SOMETHING. And I wanna show you all some of the things that I drew last year....

This was between October 2023 to February 2024. I stopped drawing due to it causing me much frustration and anger.

So yeah! Uh... enjoy?

So.... not the best work you've seen, right? HAHAHAHAHA!

Would you freak out if I told you that I got upset and damaged a book and a fan because I got so mad at myself over not being able to draw or do anything right?...

I feel like this ain't for me, and you know what? That's okay! I've learnt that it's okay to try new things, it's okay to experiment and if shit doesn't work then it doesn't work. Plain and simple. It's perfectly fine to give up and try something else.

You are not a robot, you are a human being. Don't feel like you "gotta do something everyday otherwise you'll die alone and you'll be broke and you'll never be successful and you'll be forgotten!!"

Do feel pressured to feel like you have to "find your thing" or "be productive" or whatever kind of... heh.... BRAINWASHING you hear online.

I wanted to draw because I was jealous of others, including my friends who are skilled artists... and I did it for the wrong reasons which is why I stopped in February.

I am very happy that I've decided to actually focus on what i like doing and what gives me energy. A quote that has stuck with me for years now is a quote by Jordan Peele from an interview, and it's basically this-

"Follow the fun." And you know what? He's right. Following what gives you that good good boost of dopamine while also feeling like you're accomplishing something is one of the best feelings EVER!!!! Whether it's art, writing, modelling, sculpting, architecture, making music, acting, clay sculptures, etc. FOLLOW THE FUN!! FOLLOW THE SHIT THAT EXCITES YOU!!! I literally always have multiple projects spiralling around in my head all the time and cycling between them at every given moment.

I'm not even saying do only what makes you comfortable or be lazy either, do shit that makes you go "BRING IT ON!!!! I WANNA DO THIS!!!" Get that blood pumping!!! Challenge yourself fairly!!!! There's healthy and unhealthy stress. Healthy stress should make you feel like a fucking PREDATOR!!! AN ANIMAL ON THE HUNT!!! While unhealthy stress makes you feels like you're the prey, the one who's being chased by an unknown force that's out to get you!!

I feel like I'm kinda rambling... anyways!!! ENOUGH WITH THE INSPIRATIONAL BULLSHIT!!! THANK YOU ALL!!!!!! 99% of you have been awesome and incredible!!!

It's also been an honor to get to know so many people who feel the same way as I do about a certain squid lady and her best friends.... before I went onto tumblr I genuinely felt so alone and so insane. I felt isolated, I felt like no one saw these characters the way that I do... I thought my perspective of a certain squid lady and her rebel phase was invalided and false... But now I know that I have people who have my back and understand what I'm trying to express...

One final time, thank you. I'll keep going.

STAY FRESH!!!!!!!!!!

[radioappleheadcanons]

Part 2 of this headcanon which was bouncing around my head and which @redwolf0413 freed

Alastor, for all he rags on Lucifer for being upset with him for what dream!Al, does the same. Or, well he’s only really done it once but the drama he caused was far more than any the blond had. The dream in question was one where Lucifer ended up being charmed by Vox, stopped supporting Alastor, and trash-talked several topics that Alastor trusted him with.

The deer demon was livid about it. It didn’t matter that he knew the king wouldn’t use those things against him. It didn’t matter that Vox was quite literally the person he was angry about Alastor interacting with. Doesn’t matter that no longer supporting him would hurt Charlie. None of it matters. He was just angry.

So angry that he, much like his partner, refused to talk and was very snippy with everyone else. But he is aware that he’s being hypercritical which is part of why he refuses to talk. Eventually, someone makes a comment comparing his behavior to Lucifer’s and he stiffens, which gives him away. Lucifer is a little annoyed about this. Because he knows how it feels, and it makes sense but at least he tells Alastor so they can fix it. After several attempts to get it out of him, the others give up. Alastor clearly isn’t going to be talking to them anytime soon. Charlie makes up an excuse to send the pair of them off to an empty part of the Hotel, hoping that if it's just the two of them, Alastor will talk.

They get to the room they’re supposed to be setting up. Alastor is still ignoring the king. Lucifer is getting exasperated. Neither of them noticed the drone outside the window. Why is there a drone you might ask?

Well, this is after the accidental broadcast incident and Vox is determined to find out who this mysterious fake rival is. Lucifer is behind a pillar, putting up décor, so he’s not in frame. Alastor is because he’s a drama queen who refuses to help. Lucifer finally gets him to talk by mentioning how he’ll do anything in his power to fix whatever dream!him did. Alastor immediately lets it out and snaps about what happened.

Vox scrambles to turn the audio on the drone, cursing Velvette for convincing him that he was being dumb having them at full power and completely on at all times. By the time he gets it working, and the drone close enough to hear, Alastor is finishing his rant. “And that is the kind of slight I cannot forgive!” Vox is thrilled. If this is the supposed worthy rival, they’re screwed up really badly! Worse than even Vox had when they had their falling out.

He can’t hear the other person, and seriously? Again? Do they have some kind of muffle voice magic?

“Well yes, I know it’s a misunderstanding! But it’s still unforgivable! …. Yes, he is. I know! I am well aware that I am not being reasonable! Do you think I’m happy about it?…… No, but……. I suppose you're right. What? No comment about how you're right?…. That’s sweet of you. You are disgustingly sweet, you know that?…… Hmmm yes, you did promise that, didn’t you? A risky thing, to promise to do anything to fix this….. What if I asked you to swear to me, with a binding promise, not to interact with him?…. It is not unreasonable!…… Well fine, I suppose never interacting is extreme. How about never taking his side?…… When would that even happen?….. Oh! I do like that wording! Yes, a binding promise for that will do.”

Vox is outraged. How dare Alastor do this? Agree to forgive something he swore he never would, letting the perpetrator have a say in the terms of forgiveness. To be so open and willing to explain why he was upset with them.

Things he had never given Vox the chance to do. He’s furious, and shorts out the power, as well as the drone. This draws RadioApple’s attention, and they go to tell the others. Alastor, feeling much better though still mad at Vox, volunteers to visit the Vees to see what they’re up to. Velvette calls Vox when the Radio Demon gets there, unaware that she should handle the situation. Vox comes up and just starts screaming at the other.

When it becomes clear that the other Overlord has no clue who the other person in the conversion was nor why they were fighting Alastor laughs, pleased, and leaves. Vox is still having his meltdown. Velvette regrets her decision to not just deal with Alastor herself.

[yenqa]

APPLE CIDER!

thank u @soov for helping me pick the banner!

sypnosis : you haven’t experienced much love in your life. well reciprocated romantic love, your first “boyfriend”, was only with you because a bet. until you unexpectedly meet jay, a frat boy whose known for breaking hearts. you’d be a fool to give him a chance right? too bad you both like apple cider.

or

when a heartbroken girl meets a heart breaker and they bond over apple cider.

featuring : enhypen, chaewon of lsfm, eunbi, one member of txt (EL OH EL THERES LIKE NO ONE)

warnings : literally the most cliche story ever, swearing, underage drinking, food, parties, crying, kissing (not in detail), being drunk (not reader), crying, angsty, reader hates parties, mentions of hooking up/sex, mentions of weed, reader has bad habits, blood, i think thats it?

wc : 7.9k (only 900 words over the expected amount!!)

pairing : jay x fem!reader (uses she/her)

a/n : hey guys… this fic is the most cliche shit ever and idk how it happened,,, u would think this would be like original but its not 😂 🤣. heres the playlist i listened to while making it! and everyone thank @wonieleles and @redm4ri for proof reading it !! anyways,,, enjoy!

READ PART TWO HERE!

cut glitch pls spare me

001 THE INVITATION

“c’mon y/n! i know you’re not over hyun-woo but please! one party! it’s been like a month since you broke up, and yeonjun personally invited me to this party!”

“way to put it lightly chaewon,” you’re tempted to leave and sit somewhere else. can’t she just understand you don’t want to go?

“please! i’ll get you um- coffee for a week!”

you scoff at her suggestion, but after thinking about it, it does seem like a pretty good offer. i mean, it will be  just one party right?

“when’s the party ?” you ask, almost persuaded.

“it’s this friday, i can pick you up, and we can get there at nine. the party starts at like eight, but everyone goes at nine.” she pauses for a moment before continuing.

“if you’re uncomfortable, we can leave right away! plus, your beloved chaewon would be right next to you the whole time! isn’t that tempting?” she elbows you softly, and you give her a disgusted look before changing back to your normal one.

“fine. but! you have to let me borrow a dress because i don’t really have any party dresses.”

“you have that one green one! that’s like a v-neck!” chaewon shapes the dress out with her hands, trying to prove her point.

“it’s too big,” you point out, taking a bite out of your forgotten lunch.

“okay fine… i’ll pick you up at seven, and we can get ready and stuff at my house! i’m not lending you any makeup though.” she picks back up her fork, stuffing her mouth with food.

“fine with me.” you shrug, taking a sip of water.

chaewon’s voice suddenly goes quiet, “y/n, you know those really popular guys? well one of them is looking at you!” she whisper-shouts, trying her best to hide her expression.

“so? you’re popular too, maybe he’s staring at you.” you brush it off, why would it even matter anyways?

“no y/n- that’s jay park. he’s like- he has some major beef with hyun-woo.”

“and what does that have to do with me?”

“jay is a heartbreaker, maybe you’re his next subject to get hyun-woo mad or some shit because i know sunghoon told him about you two.”

“so? hyun-woo didn’t even like me, nothing bad will happen,” you reassure her, patting her shoulder. okay, but who the hell is sunghoon? you wonder.

“whatever you say. but stay away from him okay?” she looks at you seriously.

“okay but what does he even look like-?” you whip your head around to see a group of guys laughing. one shamelessly staring at you. he smirks at you, a wink coming soon after. you look at him in disgust, turning around.

“why did you look y/n!” chaewon whisper-shouts again.

“what? i was curious. how am i supposed to stay away from him if i don’t know who he is?” you put your hands up in defense.

“okay fine…” she groans.

“you’re still going to the party right?”

“yeah sure, whatever.”

002 FIRST MEETING

you enter your last period of the day, which also happens to be your least favorite, math. you never really understood why it was necessary in the real world, when would you need to figure out what the integral of a function is? but it’s not like you want to retake math in your senior year. so you get your notebook, and mechanical pencil out, clicking the end a few times before writing the date at the top of the page.

as you’re writing the date down, you can hear the repeated taps on your shoulder from the person behind you, so you turn around to face eunbi.

“hey, are you going to yeonjun’s party?” eunbi asked curiously.

you don’t know why she asked considering you two weren’t the closest of friends, and honestly, you thought she trusted people too easily, which included you. but it wouldn’t hurt to answer right?

“yeah i’m going with chaewon, are you?”

“yeah, me and hyun-woo will be there,” she says almost teasingly. eunbi gives you a genuine smile like she had no clue that you and hyun-woo ever dated. but in reality, she didn’t.

you and hyun-woo kept it on the low, so no one really knew about you two unless they saw you on dates. maybe he did that so he could cheat on you at parties you didn’t go to without anyone knowing. but you tried not to think about him anymore. it’s not like he’s going to beg on his knees for you  to take him  back.

“oh, well i think class is starting soon, but i’ll make sure to say hi at the party.” you notice how your voice almost deflates after she mentioned him. and eunbi almost notices it too. until her train of thought is broken when your math teacher, mrs. lim, walks in.

one thing you had forgotten was that jay was in your math class. he seems to be having the time of his life on his phone, and sometimes during that period, it’s obvious that mrs. lim catches him, clearly typing away under his desk, but she never seems to point it out. 

you never seemed to be mrs. lim favorite. but you definitely weren’t her least favorite. you participated sometimes, usually getting the answers right, and you never really talked or interrupted anything in that class. it was obvious to you at least, that jay was mrs. lim’s favorite. he never got detention for being late, didn’t even have his laptop charged a majority of the time, and he never seemed to look at the board. any of this would’ve easily gotten you detention with an email to your parents, but unless mrs. lim had been doing this on the down low (which she never does), then it’s obvious she favors him over the rest.

mrs. lim had this annoying thing where she would write three questions on the board, and would draw sticks with each person's name on it to see who would answer the question. and to your luck, you were the second person to be called.

you step up to the whiteboard, trying to solve the equation as efficiently as possible so you could quickly sit back down. she calls out the next person's name to which you didn’t really care, it’s not like it would change anything. well until you saw a familiar sharp jawline, standing right next to you. whatever side fate was on, it wasn’t on yours because just as you had suspected, he had no idea what to write.

“y/n right?” he whispers closely to your ear, making you scoot away, “can you help me solve this?”

“no i can’t” you smile sarcastically, “maybe if you’d pay attention you would know.” you finish writing the answer as you place the cap back onto the marker, walking back to your seat. he smirks at your interaction, writing his solution on the whiteboard. okay, so he did know how to solve the equation? he just asked me for fun i guess. you internally groan, realizing that chaewon was right, you truly were jay’s new target.

003 THE PARTY 

friday rolled around more quickly than you would like. you told your parents previously that you were going to sleep over at chaewon’s house, and luckily they allowed it. so, you grabbed your makeup bag and everything you needed to stay the night, (including some medicine in case chaewon got a hangover). you wave goodbye to your parents when you see chaewon’s car parked outside your house. as you head to her house, you start to regret even agreeing to her deal. was a week’s worth of coffee really worth going to some stupid fuck-boys party? it was already too late when you started to put on your makeup, deciding to have some slightly brighter eyeshadow than your usual going-out look.

“no one will notice my eyeshadow, right? i feel like it’s kind of bright.” you turn to face chaewon, who’s picking an outfit out for the both of you.

she scans your eyes, stopping with an outfit in her hands.

“put more on your left eye, to balance it out.” she replies, laying out the clothes on her bed.

you touch up your eye, adding your eyeliner and some lip tint to your lips as you turn to see all the outfit options.

“ta-daa~ do you like these?” she gives you jazz hands, picking the clothes up and imagining they’re on you. in the end, you both chose the outfit with the skirt rather than the dresses. chaewon picked out her outfit, and you both left the house. luckily, chaewon’s parents were taking a vacation somewhere for a week. you two sang your hearts out, laughing at whatever joke you guys made, or every time one of your voices would crack or sing completely wrong. you thought you enjoyed the ride more than whatever the party had to offer, (which wasn’t much). 

you could hear the music booming once you entered the small neighborhood. it played softly as you entered, soon becoming much louder as chaewon parked her car. when you finally exited the car and entered the house, you felt like you could go blind from the rainbow lights moving around as you and chaewon tried to navigate your way through the dancing crowd and to the kitchen where all the drinks are. you enter the kitchen, which happens to be much less crowded than the living room.

“it’s so loud in here, why would you bring me here?” you joke, projecting your voice as she shrugs.

“whatever! but i’m going to go find yeonjun, bye! don’t take drinks from anyone!” she yells much louder than you did, walking away and trying to spot her familiar ‘friend’.

you groan, she said she wasn’t going to leave me here. you decide to get a drink, looking at each bottle to find your favorite one. soon, you turn one to see the words “sparkling apple cider”; you smile, grabbing the drink and pouring it into your own.

“not a drinker?”

you turn to see the infamous jay park next to you again. 

“not really no, someone has to drive home, and i just really like apple cider,” you take a small sip of the carbonated drink, feeling the fizzy feeling in your throat. jay pours himself some apple cider, looking up while drinking it.

“yeah, i enjoy sparkling apple cider a lot too, i don’t really like the taste of any alcoholic drinks too much, i only really take shots, unlike my friends.” he chuckles at his sentence, sneakily placing his hand on your waist, looking slightly down at you. you slightly flinch at the contact, taking another sip of the cider to cover your reddening cheeks.

you hum, acknowledging his sentence, he continues. “you look nice in that skirt, you should wear it more often.” he flashes you a wink, to which you roll your eyes.

“maybe i’ll wear them less then,” you answer, escaping from his grasp; you grab the bottle of apple cider again and pouring more for yourself. he smirks at the scene, leaving you confused.

“what’s so funny about me pouring apple cider?” you defend yourself, giving him a confused look.

“nothing, you just pour it weirdly, honey.” he flashes you a smile, pushing back his hair.

“don’t call me that, and i’m just pouring it? what’s the difference?” you ask, bewildered by what he said.

“i’ll show you, can you pour it for me?” he hands you his cup, gesturing you to give him some.

“is this a trick for me to pour your drink for you?” 

“just do it apple,” he chuckles at your accusation. you place the cup down and pick up the bottle with both hands.

“apple? why that nickname?” you ask, pouring some cider into his plastic cup.

“isn’t it obvious? you love apple cider so much so why can’t it?”

jay notices how you didn’t exactly deny his request for a nickname. apple it is, he thinks as you roll your eyes and place the bottle down, turning to face him. “what is so wrong with how i pour the drink?”

“here let me show you.” he grabs your hand, guiding it with his hands on your own, tilting both items towards each other. letting the bottle spill out into the cup.

“that way, there are fewer bubbles on the top babe,” he continues, taking yet another gulp of his apple cider.

“i-i’ll make sure to wash my hands after this.” you try to make a rude remark back at him without sounding flustered.

he feels giggly at your flustered state. wait, what is wrong with him?  he softly lifts your chin to face him, a teasing smile evident on his face.

“why so flustered apple?”

he stares at you, waiting for your answer.

“what?”

“i said,” he maintains eye contact with you, “why-”

“y/n!” you quickly push jay away from you, turning your head to see eunbi, waving at you. you wave back, smiling at her. next to her, was hyun-woo, you noticed he had been trying to keep eye contact with you, which you avoided.

“i love your skirt y/n! where’d you get it?” she checks you out, grabbing whatever clean cup was near to pour herself a drink. you give a knowing look to jay smiling at her.

“i actually have no idea,” you chuckle, “i’m wearing chaewon’s clothes because i had nothing to wear, but i can ask her for you! she might be a little busy with yeonjun though.”

she pats your shoulder, “it’s okay hun! i’ll ask her later, but it was nice talking to you! come on hyun-woo let’s go back to the dance floor.” she grabs his arm walking away. you let out a sigh of relief, forgetting jay was there.

“i told you that skirt looked good on you.” he confidently adds, putting your hair behind your ear.

“it’s different when it comes from the school's heartbreaker, you should know that with your reputation and all.” instead of being offended, he looks at you in a flirty manner.

“and what do you know about my reputation?”

“i know you’re probably toying with me right now like you’ve done with countless of girls, yet somehow you have a bunch of fangirls waiting in line for their chance,” you pick at your skin, watching as the skin turns a dark shade of red.

he’s almost stunned at your reply, sure he did have a pretty bad reputation with girls,  but since when was he that easy to read?

you acknowledge his silence, nodding in acceptance. walking away from the conversation before it could get any worse. he's tempted to follow you before he sees you walking up to chaewon, begging to go home. however, yeonjun and chaewon insist that you two would stay, as the party hasn’t even started yet. you were stubborn as always, walking outside, sitting on the edge of the sidewalk, and waiting for chaewon to leave. jay almost thanks yeonjun, for making you stay longer. this way, it would be easier for hyun-woo to spot you two together again. making jay’s job even easier.

he starts thinking of what to say, to maybe change your view of him. so he stands in the doorway, he notices how you shiver in the cold, but you ignore it, putting all your focus on stopping your finger from bleeding more.

jay gracefully takes off his jacket, walks over to you, and places it on your shoulders, you pause the round you were playing, looking at him in annoyance. you take off his jacket, placing it back in his hands.

“i don’t need your jacket, i’m fine.”

jay continues your previous conversation, handing back his jacket and firmly placing his arm around your shoulder, so you wouldn’t take it off.

“what could i do to prove i’m not trying to break your heart?” jay asks, trying his best to look saddened at what you had said earlier.

this time you’re the one left stunned, however, you quickly pick yourself back up, “by leaving me alone,” you answer, continuing the game you had just paused.

he chuckles at your response, leaning towards you, “you know i can’t do that apple.” he flirtatiously replies. you for the nth time that day, roll your eyes at him. you scoot away from him, coming up with a bright idea.

“then can you take me to chaewon’s house then? i am so sick of this party.” jay smirks at your reply. 

“are you sure i’m the one who wants to hook up with you so bad?” he gets up, grabbing his key, “but yeah, i’ll drive you to her house.” 

you smile at him, texting chaewon that somebody offered to take you home and that she’d have fun. Then jay leads you to his car, making some small talk on the way. he opens your door for you, letting you in. “wow, what a gentleman.” you sarcastically say, stepping into the car. he just smiles.

 “just trying to prove that i’m not trying to break your heart.”

in his car, he luckily had a bandage, which you gladly accepted. 

while he was driving, jay almost felt bad he was playing you. i mean you had just broken up with hyun-woo weeks ago, or was it months ago? whatever, it’s not like i care. he thought as he stopped at the red light. he looked over at you, smiling while watching whatever was outside the window. he turned back to the road, ignoring the sinking feeling in his stomach as he listened to your directions. 

“oh! take a left at the next light.”

he nods, and the lights turn green. his car blends in with the crowd by keeping up with the pace. jay places his right hand on your thigh. he notices how your legs tense at the feeling, slowly relaxing.

jay usually never made the first moves, usually, the girl made the first moves and he played along with it.  he didn’t seem to realize why he was so consistent with you. usually, if the girl left,  or played hard to get, he gave up on her. for the reason that he could always find another girl.  this is to get back at hyun-woo. he thought. but did hyun-woo really deserve this? jay definitely thought he did.

he remembered how distraught he was when hyun-woo was chosen by the coach to be captain of the rugby team. not that he was a bad player or he was a sore loser, but jay thought that hyun-woo was such a stuck-up, which was probably why he was chosen to be captain. the whole team truly believed jay would get the role. he always knew how to pull the team together and get them to play their best. hyun-woo however, always seemed to bring the mood down. after hyun-woo started to continuously mock jay for not getting captain, he knew that his time with that team was over. so he left. even now, a majority of the team still talks to jay, the few who he was close to, told him that hyun-woo was always talking shit about him.

he didn’t care at first. it’s not like it’ll do anything to my reputation. he assured himself, continuing to ignore every time he was told hyun-woo said that stuff. but when sunoo told him hyun-woo felt guilty for breaking your heart and how he only dated you because of a bet. jay knew he had to take the opportunity and seize the girl. he didn’t think this would backfire on him feeling guilt. but here he was, driving you home from a party he desperately wanted to stay at.

you remember suddenly why you were so warm inside and outside the car, you quickly take his jacket off placing it in the middle of your seat.

“you can return it to me on monday, just in case you get cold over the weekend” he sends you a flirty smile, quickly turning back to the road.

“are you sure? i mean it looks pretty expensive, and it seems special since it had your initials on it.” you flip the jacket around, showcasing to him the large letters spelling P.J. 

“yeah, i’m sure.” 

“and if you’re fangirls see me with your jacket, they’ll go crazy and think we’re dating! i don’t want that, so please take it.” you almost beg, holding the jacket near his shoulder.

“why would they think we’re dating?”

“oh, i don’t know. maybe it’s because your initials are on the back of it? and you’re in the rugby team and it says decelis rugby team under it?” you sarcastically answer.

“well i’m not on the team anymore, but also it could stand for peanut butter and jelly for all they know. so who cares?” he chuckles at his own joke, as you look at him in disgust.

you wonder if hyun-woo would care, hopefully, he did. hyun-woo had always been a jealous man. well, he might’ve been faking it for all you know, he was faking it the whole relationship, why would that be different? you quickly pull yourself together, responding to jay’s joke. “very funny. take a right at the light then turn left on the first turn.” you almost forget your job, quickly directing him the right way and placing the jacket on your lap.

he nods, moving through the road until you spot chaewon’s familiar brown house. you point at it, “that’s hers,” you say, as he pulls into the driveway. 

you exit the car and wave goodbye as he drives away. you look at your hand and realize, shit, you’re holding his jacket. you must’ve picked it up when getting out of the car. damn it! now you have to deal with jay, one more time.

004 TEARS

when you had gotten onto chaewon’s bed after washing up, you couldn’t but feel saddened by the deja vu you were experiencing.

every second you were talking to him, you were reminded of hyun-woo.

his flirty words, his smirk, his infamous charming smile, his party boy persona. all lead you back to hyun-woo.

all jay did was remind you of hyun-woo.

you don’t even know when you had fallen so deeply for hyun-woo. maybe it was because he noticed things nobody else did. maybe it was because of his stupid smile. his stupid smile that made you fall in love.

when you got to the party you two were meeting at and he drunkenly admitted to the bet he had made, you knew you should’ve listened to what everyone had said, to what chaewon said. chaewon was always right. and you should’ve known that.

so with tears slowly trickling down your face, you opened his contact. looking through old text messages since you didn’t dare to text him. you ignored the ones where you were arguing since they weren’t the most comforting. but the more you read, the more blurry your eyes got.

deciding it was time for you to go to sleep, you roll over plugging in your phone charger and staring at the ceiling of chaewon’s room.

005 CONFRONTATION

the monday of, you believed the math gods were testing you every day. who decided to make you take calculus and then put jay park in my class? if you could ask your homeroom teacher to change your schedule, you would do it in a heartbeat, if he wasn’t creepy.  but that's beside the point, whatever curse was placed on you, it was working.

you sit down in your usual seat. doing your usual routine as eunbi sits behind you. you turn around, feeling bad she always started the conversations. 

“hi eunbi! did you have fun at the party?” you ask, knowing she probably loved it much more than you.

“yeah i did!” she leans towards you, quieting down  “you know the guy i was with? hyun-woo?” you nod, praying that they didn’t do much together. “i  made out with him.” she giggles at her sentence, as your face falls, quickly changing it to a smile, “congrats girl!” you clap a little bit for her, “i thought you were already dating, to be honest.” you didn’t think that, but it wouldn’t hurt to be nice sometimes.

“i wish, i have such a huge crush on him. what about you? do you have a crush on anyone? i won’t tell anyone i promise!” she pulls out her pinky, you don’t bring yours, as you don’t have a secret to tell. you glance at jay walking in, and eunbi’s eyes follow yours.

“you have a crush on jay park?” she whispers shouts, looking at you in disbelief.

“no!” you quickly exclaim, earning the stares of classmates around you, you apologize, quickly immersing yourself back into the conversation.

“i literally don’t even like him-”

“who don’t you like apple?” of course, jay joins your conversations, moving the seat next to you to sit down. you glare at him, “why are you even here? go sit at your seat.” you signal him to move away, to which he doesn’t listen. “well you have my jacket don’t you,  princess?” eunbi watches the scene in shock as you pull out his jacket from your bag, handing it to him. “don’t call me that, i barely even know you,” you add, zipping up your bag.

“it won’t be like that for long, i'm sure,” he replies, moving the chair back as he sits in his assigned seat. eunbi, still in shock from the scene, hits you on the shoulder.

“what was that y/n?” she covers her mouth with her hand, laying her other hand on your shoulder. you hear the bell ring, meaning your conversation is over, “i’ll tell you later,” you whisper to her, turning to face the front.

when you told eunbi you would be telling her later, you didn’t mean her and chaewon. chaewon was waiting for you outside your class like always, when eunbi asked what happened between you and jay as you passed by the doorway she knew she had to join in.

“wait so jay did what?” chaewon asks, almost disappointed.

“while you were busy dancing your ass off with yeonjun, i was talking to jay in the kitchen and he kept flirting with me so i told him i knew he was playing with me and left. then i went to you and ya know, asked to go home. you declined so i went outside and sat on the sidewalk. he followed me outside and was like what can i do to prove i’m not playing you,” eunbi snickers at your imitation of him, as chaewon nods, letting you keep talking. 

“and i guess he noticed i was cold so he gave me his jacket. anyways, i was like leave me alone and he was like no! so i was like okay can you drive me to your house?” you point to chaewon, so they know whose house it was. “and he did, and i tried to return the jacket and he was like no keep it and i was like no! but i accidentally brought it out of the car so i returned it to him today.” you finally finish, taking a deep breath.

“also chaewon you forgot my coffee today.” 

“y/n, i told you to stay away from him! not ask him to drive you home!” chaewon disappointedly mentions, as you roll your eyes.

“that wouldn't've happened if you drove me home!” you counter, as eunbi watches the scene unfold.

“hey why don’t you give jay a chance? he might’ve changed his ways.” eunbi suggests, shrugging at your little argument.

“eunbi, we’re talking about jay park here. he wouldn't randomly just change his ways because of one girl.” you mention, reminding yourself of hyun-woo.

“you never know! maybe he will!” eunbi argues.

“yeah right, eunbi” you almost scoff.

006 ONE CHANCE

when you finally lie down after getting home, you feel a little vibration coming from your phone. you look at the notification, thinking it was a text from chaewon or eunbi, you open it.

unknown

hi apple, this is jay. are you free this saturday?

read 3:24pm

you

how’d you get my number?

jay

i have my ways 😉

are you free?

you

i am,,, i think, why?

jay

because i want to take you out

you

no

jay

we can go to the drive in, watch the movie yk

you

what movie?

jay

spirited away

you

no

jay

cmon it’s just one date

you

whatever

jay

i’ll pick you up at 7 apple ;)

read 3:32

the fact you knew you were going on that date almost infuriated you. it’s like you were begging for another hyun-woo situation. you didn’t want to say this was different, but something about it was. you had heard that jay doesn’t make first moves, so why was he so keen on you? what was so different about you that he wanted?

you couldn’t think of anything, nothing really made you special from anyone else, and you were fine with that. 

but maybe, you could give jay a chance, just one.

007 THE DATE

the week felt much quicker knowing your date was on saturday, not like that was a good thing. you weren’t sure how you felt about the ‘giving jay a chance’ thing, but if this date goes well, hopefully, you wouldn’t be as opposed to it as you are now.

you looked in the mirror, deciding on your outfit. which took a lot longer than necessary. after about ten minutes, you chose your outfit, sprayed on some perfume, and packed things in your purse. the familiar sound of your phone vibrating filled the room, as you checked your messages, seeing that jay was outside your house. you rushed to the front door, carefully putting on your shoes and locking the door. in your driveway, you spot jay inside his familiar black car. you stepped inside, placing your bag on your lap.

“hi apple,” he smiles at you, backing out of the driveway, “you look nice,” he says, looking through the back window.

“thank you.” you return his smile, picking at the skin on your fingernails. he quickly notices, grabbing your hands and encasing it in his.

your face turns warm, as jay keeps his eyes on the road. “stop picking at your hands, i don’t have enough bandages for you.”

you side-eye him, turning to the window, watching each tree and car as they pass by. “have you watched spirited away before?” you ask, keeping your head facing the window,

he brushes your hand with his thumb, “i have when i was younger, i haven’t watched it for a while though.” he replies, turning the steering wheel to the left.

“i’m so excited to watch it!” you squeal, letting your excitement out. he chuckles, slightly turning down the music he played.

he turns into an open field, with a huge screen at the end of it, he continues to drive forward to find a spot and parks as carefully as he can, to help others park near him too.

he glances at you, then your lips only for a second, and looks back to your eyes. he leans forward as you stay frozen. was he trying to kiss you? right now? you want to move but you can’t. almost like your waist is frozen as you look at him with wide eyes.

he quickly grabs a bag behind your seat, looking in the bag with his infamous smirk. you try to ignore that trick, looking in the bag which is filled with snacks.  you look up at him, asking for permission to take one, he nods, a smirk turning into a smile as you look through the (many) options he brought. noticing he brought your favorite, you take it, open it, and pop one into your mouth. 

“thank you,” you say, taking another one.

he opens his bag, looking at you “you’re welcome, the cashier thought i was buying snacks for a party.”

“well, you didn’t have to buy so many snacks! you would’ve saved money if you had just asked me what i wanted,” you argue, looking at the filled grocery bag.

“well, spending money isn’t a problem when it’s for you.”

“yeah okay,” you turn your head to the window, whatever car had driven in suddenly seeming more interesting than the conversation you guys were having. 

he almost giggles at your fake obliviousness, a toothy smile spreading on his face as he glances at the screen, looking for the countdown.

“the movie starts in under a minute, hope you aren’t looking to your side the whole time.”

“why would i be looking at you?” you scoff, shuffling around to comfortably sit as a yawn comes out of you.

“that’s not what i meant,” he teasingly adds, placing his arm back onto your thigh, leaning towards you.

“okay then what did you-” you quickly get interrupted when the countdown on the screen ends, starting the movie (idk how drive in theaters work). “nevermind,” you give in, leaning your arm on the side of the car as you prop your hand up to keep your head up. around halfway into the movie, your drowsiness slowly takes hold of you putting you to sleep.

008 DROWSINESS

you didn’t think you were that tired once you got there to the drive-in, but something about jay must’ve put you to sleep like a baby because why had you woken up in front of your house, on jay’s shoulder?

“when did we get here?” you mumble, sitting up and stretching your arms.

his eyes soften at your slightly messed up hair, barely being able to keep yourself awake.

“i just parked, you missed the whole movie,” he replies, turning towards you.

“what!” you exclaim, “but i was so excited to watch spirited away!” you complain, a pout forming on your face.

“so excited to watch the movie you fell asleep yeah?”

“shut up, i was tired!” you argue, grabbing your purse and opening the door to leave, “thank you for taking me, i had fun.” you blurt out, a red tint appearing on your face.

“i did too,” he smiles warmly at you, waving goodbye as you close the door and enter your house.

009 JAY’S DILEMMA

jay wasn’t usually one to fall in love he wasn’t one at all. every girlfriend he had, every situationship he had. never even came close to what falling in love was. jay wasn’t one to worry too much about a lot of things. but one thing he did care a lot about was his reputation. if he wasn’t able to make you fall in love with him. then he would be claimed as a homewrecker even if he didn’t even like you. but that’s not the point jay was trying to make.

the point was he could never get you out of his head. whether it would be a math question he was having trouble solving or even some of sunghoon’s arrogant comments, everything reminded him of you. jay never had this problem before. he never really cared about his old relationships, until you came in. messing up jay’s whole heartbreaker persona, with only him knowing.

jay still didn’t know what he felt for you on the drive home after dropping you off.

jay still didn’t know what he felt for you when he was laying in bed thinking at ungodly hours.

jay still didn’t know what he felt for you when you waved at him the monday after your date, which he waved back.

jay still didn’t know what he felt for you when he walked into your shared math class, watching you excitedly talk to eunbi about whatever.

he had embarrassed himself during the period because he was too busy with the thought of dating you, would he like that? would he like you to kiss him on the cheek or maybe on the lips? jay thought his answer was no.

but deep down, he knew it was yes.

but he would never admit that at least not to you.

010 LOVE

by now, jay had taken you on several dates throughout december to january. whether it would be studying, ice cream dates, or even museum dates. whatever date idea there was, he probably had done it. but one date he was saving for the big question, was a walk. late at night, with the moon shining brightly above the both of you, and only you two.

you two had already decided to meet at the closest park to your house. which he said was fine since it was the closest to his. he parked his car in a hidden spot, and walked to the swings, sitting down and rocking his legs slightly.

when he saw you excitedly walking towards him, he smiled.

this time, jay knew what he felt for you.

he didn’t have a simple crush or attraction towards you.

love is what he felt towards you.

love.

this wasn’t supposed to happen, but deep down, he knew all along.

love is what he felt when you walked side by side, talking about whatever came to mind.

love is what he felt when you stopped to take a picture of the moon, as he stopped to secretly take a photo of you.

love is what he felt when he asked you to be his girlfriend, to which you had said yes.

love is what he felt when you cuddled into his arm when you were cold.

love is what he felt when you stopped to tie his shoe.

jay’s night was filled with love. and so was yours. 

jay hoped it would be like that forever.

011 BUS STATION

it had been two months since he asked you out. and since then he was always asking you to go to parties with him. this time, he asked for you to go to jungwon’s birthday party the following saturday (which was tomorrow).

 you hesitate as always, declining to go, opting for a cuddle session in your room.

“apple, please! just for one of my closest friends!” he sulks, as he walks you to the bus stop you share.

he knows you can’t say no to him. which he always uses to his benefit.

“they’ll be some sparkling apple cider there, i know you don’t get to drink that a lot.” he confidently raises his eyebrows, trying to get something out of you.

you look back at him, putting on your pretend thinking face, “hmmm, maybe, i’ll think about it.”

he gives you a quick peck on the lips, to which your hands suddenly become jittery. “fine.” you mumble, looking away. he giggles, wrapping his arm around your waist, keeping you close as you continue to walk towards the bus station.

when you finally got there you quickly ran to the convenience store right next to the stop with jay. buying snacks as quickly as you could before running back out, not wanting to miss the bus.

that was a routine you two always had, and never had you missing the bus. you two proudly ate your snacks as the bus started to move. another routine you two had was jay giving you one of his airpods, to which you accepted listening to the cheesy love songs he enjoyed. 

when you had gotten to your stop you two had both gotten up, hands intertwined as you exited the bus, turning the way to your neighborhood. you had stopped in place when you noticed apple cider by beabadoobee was playing. 

“this doesn’t sound like the kind of songs you listen to. how do you know about beabadoobee?” you ask curiously.

“i don’t,” he answers honestly, before continuing, “i was looking at your playlist and i saw this song. and since it was called apple cider i decided to play it since you know, apple cider is kind of your thing.”

your smile grows, as you look at him with soft eyes, “then i decided to look at the lyrics, and it reminded me of us.” 

if you weren’t blushing before, you were a flaming tomato now, butterflies erupted in your stomach as you try to keep your cool and keep walking, to which he noticed (but he didn’t say anything.)

when you had finally made it yourself you had given him a quick kiss goodbye, as he drove off to his house.

later you decided to facetime him to pick an outfit for you. which he did and stayed on call until hours on end. the call ended when you fell asleep, and jay hung up, letting himself get some sleep too.

012 APPLE CIDER

when you two arrived at the party it seemed much more sweaty than you had expected, the smell of weed and alcohol filled the air as you navigated your way to wish the birthday boy a happy birthday,

jay had finally spotted him in the living room, squeezing your hand and walking towards him.

“happy birthday jungwon!” you exclaim, projecting your voice over the speakers.

jay gives jungwon a side hug wishing him a happy birthday too.

“thank you for coming!” he points to a hallway, “drinks are over there, and jay, do you wanna play beer pong? losers have to take a shot after each round.” he grins at him, as jay looks at you for approval. you nod, as he smiles back at you. jay turns back to jungwon with a smile on his face.

“yeah for sure! uh let me get a drink first with y/n,” he tells jungwon, jungwon nods sending you two off to the kitchen.

when you walk into the kitchen you both grab a cup, you fill yours with sparkling apple cider as always, filling jay’s cup too.

“guess you listened to my pouring advice didn’t you?” he asks as you hand him his drink.

“i listen to all your advice.”

“but that was before we started dating,” he adds, you roll your eyes, handing him his drink and heading back to the living room to watch them play.

 the teams were revealed as jay and jungwon teamed up versus heeseung and sunoo, you weren’t paying attention to any other games.

heeseung and sunoo had lost miserably, taking 5/5 shots. which was definitely too much alcohol for sunoo’s system.

sunoo seemed to be blabbering nonsense, as you and jay tried to bring him up to jungwon’s bedroom, where he could get some rest.

“ya know what jay once saidd,'' his voice came out slurred, as he stumbled after each step he took. jay looks at him confused.

“what did jay say?” you asked amused, hoping you would get some kind of blackmail against him. 

“he saidd that he waz going to make you fall in love with him-” he trips with jay barely catching him.

“so he could get back on hyun-woo,”

“what?” you ask, looking at jay’s face worriedly.

sunoo’s drunk, you assure yourself. not capable of thinking straight at all.

“come on, let’s get you to bed,” jay responds, opening the door to jungwon’s room and laying him down on the bed.

don’t do this to me jay, not again. you worry, exiting the room and letting him fall asleep. jay looks at you anxious about what to say.

silence fills the hallway. you try to analyze his face to see some sort of innocence in his expression.

he didn’t seem to start talking, so you did, “was what sunoo said true? was i just your girlfriend so you could get back at hyun-woo and that stupid grudge you had against him?” your fingers automatically start picking near the nail bed.

he sighs in defeat, “look, yes you were but let me explain-”

“no! you don’t get to explain because you’ve been playing me for two months! two fucking months i could’ve spent with someone who actually loved me.” you argue, as he looks at you with guilt.

“i do love you apple! i swear-”

“if you loved me why didn’t you tell me earlier? I'm sure we would’ve resolved it by now instead of keeping it from me and letting me run along all oblivious to your plan.” you scoff, trying to head back downstairs.

the wound on your finger just seems to grow with each step you take, the red liquid slowly covering the new injury.

“apple please let me explain-”

you face him again, “did you not feel any guilt keeping this from me? every date we went on, every kiss we shared, was that all because of a stupid revenge plan? were you faking it throughout this whole relationship?” your lips quiver, as you prayed and prayed he would say the right thing.

but for some reason, he's frozen. like his world has stopped and so has he. 

he knows he loves you and he knows he wasn’t faking it. so why was he blanking now?

you nod, wiping your tears away, wincing at the soreness of your picked finger as you leave that cursed hallway, heading to the stairwell.

“i don’t even get a goodbye?” was he serious right now?

you turn around, “jay, i was just told you dated me to get back on hyun-woo, do you think you deserve fucking goodbye?” you scoff, “honestly, i don’t even know why i gave you a chance,” and with that, you walked down the stairs, your legs slumping after each step.

you should have known, was all you could think. you should have known at the first party when he was shamelessly flirting with you. you should’ve learned that when you cried because he reminded you of hyun-woo. you should’ve known when he confidently asked you on that date. you should’ve known because chaewon warned you.

you should’ve known because it was all the same.

the flirting, the dates, the guy, and the breakup.

you grab your forgotten drink, throwing it in the trash, as you ask eunbi to drive you home.

eunbi had always been by your side. and you were always by hers. you two got so close that when you told her about hyun-woo, she immediately blocked him, and continued supporting you for which you were ever so grateful. 

eunbi hurriedly rushes you to her car after seeing your messed up mascara, helping you get in.

“what happened?” eunbi asks once you're both settled, handing you tissues from the glove compartment and rubbing your shoulder.

“he dated me because he had a grudge against hyun-woo.” 

“he what?” she exclaims, mouth hanging open.

i know,” you sniffle, trying to wipe away the tears coming down.

“i’m so sorry honey,” she mutters. 

you don’t even want to hear any nicknames again, you don’t want to hear any “sorrys”. all you wanted was to be home.

why was it always you? why did you always have to be played? what was so bad about you that people just needed to break your heart?  maybe jay would know, or hyun-woo.

“isn’t it crazy?” you laugh through your blocked nose, “is what crazy?” eunbi asks.

“this all started because i chose some dumb apple cider as a drink.”

taglist : @bookishcalls @jwonsociety @byhees @trsrina @quokkas-leebit @captivq @felixsunshine28 @lojocas @yeniiverse @starikizs @hanniluvi @misojunghwan

sorry if i missed yours!

yenqa © please do not copy, steal or translate.

[jonahmagnus]

How I think the TOH characters would react to you asking their pronouns:

1) Luz Noceda

Start of season one: "Uh, she/her! I think."

By the end of season one: "She/her! For noww~..." *double pistols and a wink*

Season two: "She/they baby! What about you?"

Season three: "She/they, but I dont really care."

Post show: "Ehhh, call me whatever. Follow your heart! See where the wind takes you. Look into the sunset. Listen to the whistle of the sea breeze. The answer lies within your heart, you just have to listen" *leaves before you can figure out what the fuck that means*

2) Gus Porter

"He/they, thanks for asking!" Hes a gay ally at the start of season one, but only because he learned about how humans are opporessed for "being happy" in their realm and that broke his heart so much he swore to stand by any "gay" human he ever found. So he self-identifies as an ally dispite being literally bisexual. Luz considers explaining what gay means in human modern context, but decides this is funnier, and then forgets about it.

3) Willow Park

Start of season one: "O-oh! She/they, thanks for asking! What about you?" A little unsure of herself gender wise but is coming into it

By season two: "They/She! What about you?" *Winks* By this point shes grown into herself and identifies as nonbinary. However, hes still not ready to peer into the depths of his soul and acknowledge the true hidden truth at the bottom there. No little plant boy dont internalize that!!!!

Post-show: "She/he/they, thanks for asking!" This is still fully a lie but he plays cat and mouse with his own gender for a couple years after the show. Literally refuses to think about it. He has other shit going on (he doesnt).

Finally, post-post-show: "He/him! Yours?" He is a nonbinary butch womanthing. Thank god he finally figured that out. Amity and Gus quietly exchange their bet money. Amity won.

4) Amitt Blight

Season one: "She/her. What do you want." I loved her bitch era it was so fun.

Season two: "She/they! Uh, thanks... for asking? Am I supposed to ask for yours now?" Still figuring out the proper etiquette. God bless her soul.

Season 3: "Oh, she/they. You?" This social script is so ingrained in her autistic speech patterns and mind that she acidentally said it to a cafe worker once and she almost turned herself into goo. Rip autopilot girlie......

Post-show: "She/they! :) What about yours?" She is secure in her answer now 👍 a certified category five nonbinary woman moment.

5) Hunter Noceda

Season one: "My..... whats?" You try to explain what they are to him and he says "My uncle says gender is a sin and I should never fall into it lest my soul be lost. And I dont know what that means but I dont want him to be mad at me so. Bye" and then he would flee the scene at 300mph and have a panic attack about in the closet.

Season two: "Oh... uh.... he... him?? I think??" *remembers youre supposed to ask something back* "Why do you need to know that" he sounds increasingly desperate as he realizes the social script for this conversation is slipping from his grasp, much like his current sanity.

Season 3: "Oh, oh, uhm, he/him, I guess" He sounds VERY unsure about that. You eye the book in his shoulder bag, and he shuffles awkwardly.

Post-show: "They/he!" They say, still a little haltingly. You nod like you believe it.

Post-post-show: "They...he... it? I mean I like they and it the most but Uhm he is still fine its fine like Im still a human. Im still a human... man" okay Hunter, for sure.

Post-post-post-post-show: "she...they?????" Sure Hunter

Post-post-post-post-post-show: "she/IT???" she shoulds desperate. Okay hunter.

Post-post-post-post-post-postshow: "It/its, but she/her is fine as well. Uh, thanks for asking. Uh. You?" There we go. Glad you finally came to this realization. The Murderbot Diaries would have irreversible affects on its gender.

[ezrazwrldz]

vent. i may have yapped. deleting later.

i genuinely thought i was doing better. but bpd has to come in and take all that away from me. all i’ve got that i’m clinging on to is the fact i’m 3 months self harm free. other than that, i’m an emotional, unstable wreck.

my friends think i’m a fucking psychopath. i’m deranged and i see things that aren’t there. i leave nothing but a path of destruction wherever i walk. i absolutely wreck everything i touch. i hear things that don’t exist, i see my fucking dad in every brown haired older man that walks past. i always panic for a moment, thinking it’s him. i missed out on my childhood because of that fucking dick. i’m 15, but i may as well be 50 with how fast i’ve been forced to mature. that man wrecked me. he fucking ruined my entire life. every traumatic experience has stemmed from what he did, at least a little. the bad people i got connected to and attached to were because i bonded to them through my trauma.

TW. DETAILED TRAUMA VENT RELATING TO DOMESTIC VIOLENCE AND PEDOPHILIA AND SUICIDE AND GROOMING AND TRAUMADUMPING AND SELF HARM

my dad was a wife beater and alcoholic. i was as young as 4 when they broke up, but i has still seen everything. i don’t even fucking remember much of my childhood because of dissociation.

i do remember my 7th birthday, though.

we were in the car on the way home from my birthday party, and i was happy as anything. but, my mum and dad were in the same car, and that could never end well in a million years. they got into an argument, and my dad opened the car door and undid his seatbelt on the motorway, threatening to jump out and end his life right there, in front of me and my siblings. i screamed and cried and begged, resorting to screaming about it being the ‘worst birthday ever’ to try and distract them both and hope my dad forgot about the attempt he intended to make. and, i don’t remember anything else. i literally only remember the moment i screamed ‘this is the worst birthday ever’, and both my parents turned to me, my dad still stood there with the car door open and tried to convince me everything was fine. i knew better. i always knew better.

i remember when that man promised he would never leave me, but he forgot my birthday this year. there was a time when we didn’t talk for 4 years - only being forced back into each other’s vicinity when my mum and stepdad got mad that i went to an after school homework club that i wasn’t meant to go to and made me pack my bags, driving me to his house convincing me they were going to make me live with him. that they didn’t want me anymore.

that night was my breaking point, and the first time i went to social services about my mum and stepdad, and they got involved, which ruined my relationship with my parent even more. my stepdad was threatening to move out, and asking if i could be sent to a mental hospital for treatment or a facility for troubled kids on weekends or whatever. i hated being at home. i preferred school but that was hell too. that’s where i met her at 11 years old. i’m gonna refer to her as amy for privacy reasons. amy was a traumadumper. a REAL traumadumper, not just the tiktokified version of what a traumadumper is.

i, being the fucking idiot i am, became very close friends with amy. we bonded over similar trauma, and i’d try to talk to her about my problems as she said i could, but she’d always turn it on herself. she’d send me HORRIFIC self harm photos on snapchat, only to send me a ‘whoops!! trigger warning!!’ after, as if it was all some stupid fucking joke. amy would also make up fake trauma story after fake trauma story, each one more disturbing than the last. but, i was obsessed with her. i loved her so, so much, so i was completely blind to how poorly this girl was treating me. i loved her, and i wanted to save her. to save her from this “horrible life” that she had been through. eventually, she binned me off for trying to prevent someone from killing themself (which also turned out to be a joke as an attempt to bully me but that’s another story)

a few weeks after amy, i met one of my groomers. real sweetheart he was, pretending to be my age to sexually exploit me and using the fact i’m mentally unstable to take advantage of me. he was my world when i thought he was my friend. he meant everything to me. and, in classic bpd fashion, he became my FP. just like amy had previously.

so, when my parents found out and took him away from me, i fought tooth and nail to get him back, completely in denial, no matter what my parents or the literal police told me.

when the police decided to “take action”, they said they couldn’t do anything due to only having his discord and email. the problem? this fucking guy has my address and school. and he’s still out there. i mean, it’s been a long time now, but i still get nightmares and live in fear.

[audsthoughts]

I get it, live actions aren’t for everybody and that’s totally fine. Not everyone’s gonna like it. But to shit on the stupidest things, or draw the dumbest conclusions??? Blocked. Y’all look dense as fuck. Views will be mixed as they always are, quit clogging up the tags with your negativity and find some chill 😂 The originals are still there to watch or read and enjoy…so go do that…it’s literally on the same app 👏🏻 I’m trying to be understanding I am, but some of y’all are so damn hung up you’re letting it completely destroy something you’d otherwise enjoy

Anyways!! Here’s some of the stuff I loved from the atla live action!

•cinematography, soundtrack, costumes - all on point

•getting to see the airbenders flourishing!!! Also the dude who played Gyatso?! Didn’t think I could love him more!! Even though it was painful as FUCKKKK getting to see the first invasion of the fire benders was an epic masterpiece

•speaking of, the first scene?? With the earthbender soldiers in the fire nation?? Iconic

•Omashu: unpop opinion I’m sure (bc y’all hate change but simultaneously hate when it’s carbon copy????????🤦🏼‍♀️) I loved how they incorporated like 3 or 4 episodes into one, and they flowed really well together. Jet is FOINEEE. Mechanist was perfect & his son is a freaking badass, amazing casting! Even though it was change, the secret tunnel scenes were still really freaking cool and the badgermoles were SICK AS FUCK. Also I love that Bumi was still cooky but not just randomly cooky? Like mans was run down from being king basically the entire war…which FAIR. And it made sense that he was peeved with Aang BECAUSE they were such good friends. Like the other avatars being mad at him? Yea that’s whatever. But for Bumi it was kinda personal. Also CABBAGE MAN WE MISSED YOU 👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻 Oh! And the way they mentioned other episodes like they were lore when Zuko was trying to find Aang? That was an amazing way to tie back to the OG series

•I love how they incorporated the blue spirit, Koh, the fog of lost souls & parts of the ep where sokka and Katara got sick & Aang had to get them frogs - just reimagined it. Oh also Hei Bai! Yea, I loved that whole episode. Koh & Hei Bai were SCARY as fuck, it was awesome!!

•HAHN MY BELOVED…I ADORE YOU! Favorite character that they added/changed. Katara getting the other women involved in the battle?! Tui & La? The oasis?! 😭😭 stunning!!!! I also LOVEDDDDD Aangs avatar spirit that he turned into, literally perfect! And I loved the change that he gave himself over to the spirits wrath..fucking SICK. Also right before aang turned into the spirit/whatever that’s called, I was praying they’d do the line and thEY DIDDDD!!!

•Fire lord Ozai?? 😳😚 nothing needed to be said - perfection

•Kyoshi?! The Kyoshi warriors?! SUKI?! - speechless

•I like that they’re making more of a point to show how smart Sokka is! Mechanist calling him an engineer…I hope they play more into that! Ik they did a bit in the show with the subs (cartoon), but still

•”~hE rAn~” seriously my favorite line, I was DYINGGGG!!! The scenes with Zuko and Iroh, Zuko before the war meeting, the leaves from the vine being in the background at the funeral….ARE YOU FUCKING WITH ME?! Zuko’s crew being the crew he SAVED?! And when they find out they all do the fire nation bows to their prINCE?! 😭😭😭😭

I’m being fair y’all - things I don’t love/hope they change:

•this one I’m 50/50 on - I don’t love that they tried to give Kuruk a reason for disappearing. They tried to pull shit from Korra to make him look meaningful & not useless as an avatar and it didn’t hit for me

•some of the wigs: obviously we won’t see Yue again, but I wanted her hair to be white. I didn’t love the wig but it wouldn’t have been as bad for me if it wasn’t so grey. Also do NOT love Azula, Tylee or Mai’s hair. Ik they look just like the show but whether that’s wigs or their actual hair (I’m clueless) it needs some serious improvement. Azula’s looks great down, I just don’t like how big the side pieces are that frame her face when it’s up.

•Katara, my love, I am PRAYING part of your development is also going to be her becoming more outspoken and badass, bc this season we saw the tiniest of glimpses of it, not a fan (unless it’s a part of her development…she did grow up in a tiny ass tribe so I’m giving them the benefit of the doubt)

• IK they’re going with a much more serious Aang, but pleaseeeee give us some actual moments of him being a kid. We saw that like twice 😭

•Dante is the PERFECT ZUKO, I will hear NO slander. However, I need him to be more of a dick. I’m hoping we’ll get that when he gets super desolate when they’re on the run & then we have Zuko alone & he has his inner battle. I need snarky dickhead Zuko, so you can truly see the big differences between what he’s fighting (himself vs. who his dad wants him to be)

Have fun kids!

In case I haven’t made it clear, idgaf if you disagree. I go so hard for these live actions because it’s fun! It’s just supposed to be fun and different and new. If you get so serious about it you’re ALWAYS going to be disappointed, there’s no way around it bc nothing is ever going to be as good as the original book, the original show, the original tale. OG atla is ALWAYS gonna be the winner, nothing will compare! So sit back ~relax~ and find some joy in the little things

[leincendiaire]

anyways salty thoughts. dont expect me to be nice

this is the one problem not exclusive to the finale, god ed's character arc just. didnt do it for me at all. I excused it before cuz I thought it would pay off as the season went on but nope. he never had a genuine apology moment, just that youtuber apology like gag and the cat collar joke. like they literally show us how the crew was completely scarred by his actions but theyre later just completely fine with him on board???? and stede keeps being his biggest stan when I think he would have been like hey what the fuck!! im sorry I hurt you but I am not responsible for your actions and you hurt my crew whom I hold very dear!! I love ed but Fuck he really went too far those first episodes and he never makes up for it. they only ever focus on His Own self journey, not how he hurt and traumatized practically every other character.

"well, I think narratively izzy's death made sense but—" no!! no it fucking didnt!! im sorry but it was just lazy writing!! they didnt know what to do with him so whoops he gets shot in the dumbest way possible. like, this aint my first rodeo, it aint the first time ive seen a character start off on their character journey to happiness only for writers to give up on it and kill them off. it's a tiring fucking trope tbh and I really wish they hadnt fallen into this trap. like his death scene wasnt good either, if youre gonna do it at least focus on his relationship with the crew, you know, the people he came to accept as family? not the man Who Shot Off His Fucking Leg And Almost Killed Him? I know they had an important relationship but that shit should have been talked about way beforehand, it deserved closure. they should have acknowledged they werent good for each other and made peace with it. izzy deserved a death with people who actually made him happy. ALSO THEY BURY HIM ON FUCKING LAND?????? he spent his life at sea!!!! he is the most devoted out of everyone to being a pirate and you bury him next to your fucking inn???? fucking twats istg

lastly I swear they forgot stede is the main character. they forgot literally everything about how to write him. he gets No Focus in the finale, and every scene he is in is bullshit. I actually wanted to punch my screen every time there was a joke about him being incompetent or whatever. like, hello??? thought we left that shit in s1??? he had Multiple Episodes about learning to be a pirate and adjusting to his new life and gaining more skills but no. he is just silly old loserboy for his cool war criminal boyfriend now. literally no skills or experience whatsoever. ok sure yea thats totally how he acted the rest of the season. also the fuck is it with him staying behind to run the inn with ed?? wasnt the whole conflict last episode their different desires out of life, with ed wanting to start a normal life and stede wanting to be a pirate?? when the Fuck did he change his mind. who are you and have you done with my boy

honestly I feel bad because jenkins is actually a good writer and the whole fandom really expected a lot from a man making his second show, and I think there were a lot of budget cuts and production issues so I can see why it turned out this way. he is probably mad about this too, I bet the cast also, like even the acting in this episode didnt feel passionate, and thats saying a lot since these actors really love this show. im just frustrated. man. time to write fics ig

[sillystarters]

it's always sunny in philadelphia season sixteen starter sentences.

starter sentences taken from episodes one - three from season sixteen of it's always sunny in philadelphia. part one of ??

have you ever seen teenage mutant ninja turtles ?

you spent close to $20,000 on a couch you never owned.

that's pretty bad business fellas.

now listen i have glued my hand to a door so they can't physically remove me.

you know, i know stuff.

that's money talk right there.

how much nut do you go through a month?

are you storing up your nut or are you blowing through it?

i'll give you fifty cents for a buck.

come, have a seat.

it was super cheap dude.

well listen, i don't really have any interest in your bulk tin of low end economy nuts.

yeah don't make a mess.

what's behind that door?

holy shit! what the fuck is this?

i wasn't tryin' to be crypto about it.

this is tits!

can i sleep in here?

we're gonna blow our shoes out with all this walking.

how is this not a big deal?

move past it dude, move past it man.

i really ultimately don't give a shit.

did you glue your hand to my door?

i can tell you're mad.

i can't deal with this.

and just leave me here all alone?

i don't wanna be a bad host.

you know what, this was a mistake.

i can't sleep.

what is going on with you dude?

what you workin' on there bud?

is that thing loaded, by the way?

get off my back.

you know what? screw this.

i am in the prime of my life.

okay so it was loaded, my mistake. don't be so dramatic.

it's not like anybody's in any real danger.

getting shot in the face is pretty cool.

i do care about the money though.

i got some bad news for ya, bud.

i figured you probably forgot too or something.

did you try to pull out your own teeth?

i'm so sorry.

i didn't have the heart to tell you.

those ungrateful bitches.

i can't believe you did this!

i'm not mad at you okay? it's fine.

you did make a mistake.

i didn't mean to upset you.

this is not working.

should we just attack him and take it?

shut up!

this is my worst nightmare in my entire life.

she burnt the shit outta me.

i got a little surprise for ya.

you wanna take it easy? goddamn. just one bite at a time.

ha! i almost ate my gun.

i hope everyone brought their appetite because i made quiche!

this is like, everything you've ever wanted.

that is ... sad.

this is so annoying.

alright, where to now?

a perfect day can't last forever.

what the hell are you doing?

you're outta control with that thing.

just barge right in okay don't be shy.

oh my god what are you doing here?

this is so distasteful.

asmr, dickweed!

how long has it been?

that's a definite pass for me.

this is a million to one shot and i've got a really good feeling about this.

our luck just turned around.

i don't wanna have my ass handed to me.

we have a problem.

whatever you do, don't laugh.

this is bad, dude.

what? why are you trying to break my door down at three in the morning?

i just wanted to ask if you could kindly keep the noise down.

this was very sweet of you to bake these for me.

it's a trophy, see? it says cunt of the year. that's you!

bad things are going to happen to you one day. i guarantee it.

you earned it!

we're not having bad luck, we're having good luck.

come here you rat! die!

it's time to make good on your end of the bargain.

what is your deal, man?

i'm going to beat you with my shoe!

we gotta take this seriously.

go make your apologies!

i'm done listening to this.

'just in case' is as good of a reason to believe in anything as any.

i don't believe in that bullshit.

well, that's not good.

that's a bad omen!

boy, that's a shame.

thank you for this.

i'm just trash right? that's what you said.

i got you a sixer!

i gotta show you something but you gotta keep it a secret.

you're not following.

it makes literally no sense.

a moment of your time?

i'm sorry your dad doesn't like you.

[hezekiahwakely]

After spending literally multiple days and nights listening to hours of new music, here are my thoughts on what the Protocol playlists might tell us about the characters. I'm gonna break it down by large themes and I'm putting it under a read more bc I don't know how to not ramble about this. its SO MUCH

Gwendolyn Bouchard 👁️

Hers is the most self-explanatory. Girlboss is girlbossing and paying for it. But I did pick up several nuances.

Gwen is: Cold, power-hungry, and ambitious (you should see me in a crown, Are You Satisfied?, Severance theme). Suffering from her own hubris (Oh No!, Gasoline). Resentful and envious, especially about family, wealth, and power (Family Jewels, 24 hours, Warriors). Touching the dark and being supernaturally influenced (Mr. Bonzo theme, Evil Eye, We Don't Talk About Bruno, Making Love to the Dead).

Special mention to the 'daddy's money' reference in 24 hours.

Samama Khalid 😶‍🌫️

Sam makes ridiculously long playlists, like me, so this entry is gonna be long, but the emotional vibes were pretty easy to pick out once I got through it.

Sam is: Straight chillin' to some lo-fi beats, desi hip hop, and melodic bops (literally too many to list but, Remind Me, Forgive the Mess, 93 'Til Infinity, Magpie, Fire Sale, Iniesta Flow, I Guess, Prarthana, Hai Hai, etc., etc.). Rebellious (The Adults Are Talking, Reptilia). Bonded with someone (Halo Flip, soulboy). Yearning, romantic, and playful (Girl Like You, Mr. Sandman, New House, Meteor, You Only Live Once, Be Your Girl, Dear Jean, Say The Word, My Girl/Hey Girl, Smiley, The Real Sugar). Reminiscing about a break-up (Oui, Afterparty Lover, Last Nite, Stick Season, Turn off the Lights, Jessie (i miss you), WONDERING, Afterthought, I Love You, I'm Trying). Full of regrets, pain, and melancholy bitterness (Seasons, Can't Call It, Let It Go, nightmares, Pretty Insane, different tomorrow..., Cigarette Daydreams, CABIN FEVER, Self destruct, Go Back, Stuck Here With Me, Bliss City). Alienated, yet wanting to be alone (uh-oh) (Creep, Alone, Stone cold., Paint it, Black).

Special shout-out to all the implications about the old Sam/Alice relationship. And I'm especially worried by the potential meanings of Downside Up, Let It Go, Go Back, and Stuck Here With Me.

Also, interesting that there's a lyric-free track just called 'drained' at the end of his playlist. I'm sure that's fine.

Alice Dyer 🌀

Oh my girl. What is going on with you. She has impeccable and predictable taste, at least. But... then there's the Ominous Implications again...

Alice is: Rebellious, anarchic, and irreverent (Underclass Hero, Toxicity, Tribute, Buddy Holly, Dragostea din tei, Feel Good Inc., Piss Off, Rebel Rebel, Ghost Town, Brimful of Asha, Surrender, Uncle Walter, United States of Whatever). Blasting high-confidence power anthems (Material Girl, Therefore I Am, Jump, Bad Reputation, The Middle). Depressed behind a mask of high energy and false cheeriness (SugarCrash!, Mad World, Bathroom Floor). Yearning after someone's love (A.M. 180, Zombie Love Song, Nearer Than Heaven, Save Tonight, Ms. California, Because I Love You, Fell In Love With A Girl, Take Me Out). Reminiscing about a break-up (Ciao!, Built This Way, Kidz 'N' Stuff, FRIENDS, Free Fallin', Not In Love, Who Knew, Song for the Dumped, When It All Falls Apart, Laid, Complicated). Feeling crazy and overwhelmed (uh-oh) (Basket Case, In Too Deep, Bonkers, I'm A Robot, Lucy In The Sky With Diamonds, 19-2000, Wonderland, High, Undone, Cosmic Castaway). Creeped out and brushing up against the supernatural (Walking On Air, The Blue Wrath, Pet Sematary).

Oooh. Oh, the implications. The Sam/Alice break-up. The potential for feelings that remain. I HAVE to know what happened between them.

Also, here are some select lines from five Alice songs presented without comment: "Yeah, I'm a zombie, baby," "I'm a robot, I'm a robot/I don't have any feeling in my heart," "I don't wanna be buried in a Pet Sematary/I don't want to live my life again," "Take me down, six underground/The ground beneath your feet," "Walking like a zombie, like a zombie."

I'm sure that's all fine.

Celia Ripley 🕸️

The most mysterious new member of the OIAR, her music choices are appropriately enigmatic. The Vibes make me excited to see what she's hiding under the surface.

Celia is: Raring for a fight (Seven Nation Army, Rumble, know your place, Run from Me). Fed up with the system (Blood//Water, Run You). Bold, sexy, headstrong, and self-confident (Creature, Took A Trip, River, Do It For Me, Aerials, Uber). Struggling against supernatural influence, feeling trapped and helpless (Mama! There's a Spider in My Room, Where Is My Mind?, I Feel Like I'm Drowning, Closer, Space Dementia, Rain)

So we've all but confirmed the theory that she's from the OG Archives timeline and that she has continuing ties to the Web from passing through Hill Top Road. I think we have hints here that she's manipulating the others, but I also think there are signs that she's fighting her own battle against an evil trying to take her. There also seems to be an overarching theme of water in many of her songs for some reason 🤔

I can't wait to get more of Celia. Even if she is lying, I'm rooting for her (<hoping this doesn't come back to bite me in the ass)

In conclusion, I love them all already your honor, and I want to thank the cast for putting such loving care into crafting these for us. Thank you for such great food to feed our wild theorizing.

[wish-i-were-heather]

i just need to vent ignore this pls

oh my GOODNESSCAN YOU JUST ADMIT YOURE WRONG AUGH HOW HARD IS IT??? I DIDNT FUCKING DO ANYTHING!!! im sorry i fucking misunderstood you, its not worth any argument. its the STUPIDEST ARGUMENT LITERALLY WHY ARE YOU MAD??? she said to try on the dress, so i tried on the dress. then she says its the wrong one. okay, fine, my mistake. no problem. apparently there is a problem because "didnt you hear me tell you the other one we ordered arrived?" NO I CLEARLY DIDNT OTHERWISE I WOULDVE PUT THAT ONE ON? so its like ok fine ill put on the other its no big deal. but apparently i used the wrong fucking tone? what tone am i supposed to use i just talked normally. and i do like the dress i fucking do i like the dress damn why are you so pressed about it. "if you dont like it why did you buy it then its a waste" I LIKE THE FUCKING DRESS SHUT TF UP. and then apparently when he agrees that i didnt use a tone, "doesnt the tone she's using sound just like a meltdown? do you not hear it? NO HE DOESNT HEAR IT OBVIOUSLY THERES NO FUCKING TONE TO HEAR OMG ITS LITERALLY NOT A PROBLEM THERES NO NEED TO ARGUE I TRIED ON THE WRONG FUCKING DRESS LET IT GO. but apparently fucking not so im like oh sorry i didnt know wheres the dress im supposed to wear and she fucking goes "ill show you" in the most demeaning, slow, talking to someone whos overracting type of tone. like excuse me? all i did was ask a question? im not doing anything? so then i just respond "okay" in the same fucking tone. and when she hears that tone now she gets mad? yeah its not very fun to hear is it huh. and then shes like "oh nevermind we dont have to try it on well do it later" AND WALKS AWAY LIKE BITCH THIS WAS YOUR IDEA DO YOU WANT ME TO WEAR IT OR NOT? how can you give me this stupid ass attitude, say i have attitude, then walk away like im the dramatic overreacter here?

then she decides to just leave. fully leave. like i go into my room thinking we're done because i wasnt even that mad she was the one who was pissed. and then she knocks on the door (wow i didnt know she could do that she always just opens it) and is like uh where r u? and im like im in here and apparently that upsets her that im not trying on the dress that i didnt fucking know existed until five minutes ago and she just WALKS AWAY?? JUST SAYS WHATEVER AND FULLLY LEAVES. GOES OUTSIDE TO TAKE A WALK? HELLO? YOU CANT JUST LEAVE AN ARGUMENT WHEN YOURE LOOSING??? YOU CANT JUST WALK THE FUCK AWAY??

so then later i feel fine im not mad anymore i left that post with a bunch of tags complaining. and then i go to say goodnight and shes all stiff and he tells me shes still mad. and then she decides to talk about how shes "invisible and it feels like everyone is ignoring her and invalidating her emotions and stuff" LIKE LITERALLY WHO DID THAT? WHERE- WHAT? WHO??? like she doesnt know how to admit shes wrong its actually a problem. sometimes youre wrong and sometimes you have to be the bigger person. but no she has the emotional maturity of a five year old and decides to just sit there and cross her arms and not fucking talk as we both try to apologize??? and neither of us even know what we did wrong. and then SHE TRIES TO TURN IT AROUND AND "APOLOGIZES" AND IS LIKE OH IM WRONG ITS FINE WHATEVER. LIKE NO LETS TALK ABOUT THIS BUT SHE DOESNT WANT TO?? HELLO? normally the morning after an argument ill go and apologize because ill be wrong but this time i dont even know what to say because im not even doing anything wrong. shes the one who got mad at me for a simple fucking misunderstanding. all because i put on the wrong dress?? oh my goodness its not that deep at all just apologize and move on.

and the worst part is i was crying. i started crying. i was crying. during this whole damn argument. and i couldnt get words out bc my fucking throat was all weird. and i sounded rediculous. its fucking humiliating. i was trying to tell her like im not sad im not upset but she just gave me this nasty ass glare so i guess im the problem and im still overreacting.

THIS IS THE STUPIDEST ARGUMENT ANYONES EVER HAD OH MY GOODNESS LITERALLY JUST BECAUSE I MISUNDERSTOOD WHEN YOU SAID "THE DRESS ARRIVED AND I WANT YOU TO TRY IT ON." like im not even that important at all its not worth it. like oh my goodness just say youre wrong and move on. but the problem is she cant apologize and say shes wrong without playing the victim and "omg you guys dont even care im just invisible im being ignored your invalidating me" NO WERE NOT STOP TALKING

whatever its fine i guess. shes still important to me. i love her. shes just an only child and i really think it shows in the way she argues.

this is stupid. what a way to end the night with me crying because i accidentally used the wrong tone apparently and "had a meltdown" by litreally just explaining a simple misunderstanding.

but i can listen to short and sweet tomorrow!! i was gonna tonight but my nights fucking ruined :)

if you for some reason decided to read this, no you didnt

[wordsarelife]

DAY 8: UNDERNEATH THE TREE

pairing: tasm!peter parker x gn!reader

summary: you and peter both struggle to find the perfect gift and end up proving why you belong together

warnings: reader is risking her health and safety

notes: this is a bit ridiculous, but it's christmas time, so whatever huh?

"what about a cd?" gwen pointed at the stand to your right. the shop was filled with multiple things you could gift someone, just not peter. you wanted your gift to be meaningful and you just couldn't get it right.

"no" you shook your head "he probably owns every cd in the world already"

"what about a sweater?" gwen asked. you knew she wouldn't just give up like that. she had made it her mission to get the perfect gift for you. she thought if she would just name various things she knew peter liked, it would make eventually click.

you shook your head once again and gwen sighed. "you know he isn't the president, right?" she raised her brows at you "he will certainly like anything you get for him"

"i know" you said "but i don't just want him to like it, i want to make him speechless at how perfect it is"

"i don't think such a gift exists" gwen noted "why don't you just draw something or make your own mixtape?" she suggested

"peter is far better at drawing than i am" you shrugged "and i cannot deal with computers, you know that"

"okay" gwen nodded "then think about something that connects the both of you. perhaps something only you guys even know about?"

"ugh" you threw your head back, trying to think of anything "there is nothing, my mind is literally just blank"

"okay" gwen took you by your arm and walked you out of the shop "we're not getting anywhere with this"

"where are we going?"

"central park" she answered simply "where you guys met, maybe that'll help you"

"sure" you shrugged your shoulder "might be worth a try"

the way was shorter than you had anticipated and a few minutes later you were standing at the exact spot you and peter had run into each other.

"and..?" gwen wondered

"give me a minute" you turned around yourself, looking at everything like you had done that day.

there were memories quickly flashing through your mind, a boy with a skateboard, a book flying in the air, a wheel falling off a board.

"the wheels" you exclaimed suddenly

"huh" gwen looked up from her fingernails with raised brows "the what?"

"the wheels" you repeated even more excited "when peter and i ran into each other, meaning literally ran into each other, one of the wheels of his skateboard losened and fell off. we didn't find it, so i bought him a new one"

"so what's the plan?" gwen asked crossing her arms, looking at you suspiciously after she saw your face light up. "no" she shook her head

"come on!" you pleaded "that would be the most romantic gift ever!"

"you really think that wheel would still be here a year later?"

"maybe" you shrugged in a sing song. "where's the romantic in you, gwen?"

"i am romantic" gwen exclaimed offended "just not hopeless, like you are"

"you go look there, i'll search here" you directed and gwen gave in with an eye roll.

it took you about three hours to give up. there wasn't anything close to a wheel laying around in that park.

"what did i tell you?" gwen asked when you guys had sat down on a bench "it's gone"

"well" you pushed your hair out of your face "there is still one place we haven't checked" your eyes darted to the little pond next to you

"no, y/n" gwen said "it's december!"

you took off your scarf and mittens, putting them down on the bench "it's romance!" you argued.

gwen watched in horror as you got out of your jacket. "no, this is madness! you're going to freeze to death"

"i don't care" you got rid of your sweater too. the last piece of clothing you were willing to remove in public. "your apartment isn't too far from here, i'll be fine"

"y/n" gwen shook her head once again "please don't make me tell peter that you died"

"i won't" you assured, before you slowly walked into the water. "ooh!" you bellowed "yeah, this is cold"

"i told you!"

"too late now, anyway" you muttered and with one last look in gwen's direction, you quickly immersed into the water, diving through it and searching for a hint of the lost wheel. you had almost shrieked from happiness, when you really did make it out, right beneath you.

you jumped up from the surface, the treasure right in your hand "i got it!" you called and gwen looked up in surprise as you climbed out of the water.

the adrenaline rush was gone as quickly as it had come and you were shivering. "it's so cold" you stuttered.

gwen quickly pulled the jacket over your shaking form, while she was holding her phone to her ear. "she is shaking, so much. i don't know what to do" she spoked into it.

"who are you talking to?" you asked, while you felt like icicles were growing on your whole body

gwen didn't answer you. she just watched you worriedly, while she gently made you sit on the bench. then she took off her jacket and put it over yours.

"what are you doing?" you once again went unanswered.

"when are you going to be here?" gwen asked into the phone.

"now" a voice behind you said, which prompted both you and gwen to turn around.

"peter" you exclaimed in surprise.

"y/n" peter was by your side in a second "what were you thinking?" he seemed to be more asumed than angry, which was a relief to you.

"i wanted to surprise you"

"well, you did just that" he pointed to his backpack "i brought fresh clothes and the suit, come on" he took your hand. "are you getting home?" he asked gwen, who nodded and waved you both goodbye.

peter walked you to a toilet nearby so you could change, when you came out, spiderman was already waiting for you. he swung you both through new york, until you arrived at his place.

after you had showered and changed into your pyjamas, peter was ready for you to explain what had been going on earlier.

"i'm sorry you had to come and get me" you apologized "i was stupid"

"it's no problem" peter assured "by why the hell did you decide to go swimming at the end of december?"

"because of you" you smiled. you could almost see the question marks popping up beside peter's head, so you opened your bag, taking out the wheel and holding it in his direction.

"a skateboard wheel?"

"the skateboard wheel you lost when we ran into each other"

"it was still there?"

"yup" you smiled "just at the bottom of the pond"

"you're an idiot" peter shook his head "you risked your own health to get me this?"

"of course" you shrugged "you would've done the same for me"

peter smiled and got up from the bed. the next second he was holding a book in your direction.

"the book-"

"- i ruined when we met, yeah" peter nodded "it's even signed, i got it off ebay"

you laughed "this is so much better than my stupid idea"

"well" peter said shrugging "i might not have nearly died while getting this, but i'd say your gift is pretty amazing too. thank you, even if you are an idiot"

you laughed "luckily you came and saved me"

"i'd always save you"

taglist: @twistedhistory @bakingintheshire @mqstermindswift @taygrls @athenalikethegoddess

[husbandhoshi]

1:44am - joshua (smutty or suggestive) pls

tags: coworkers!au, f!reader, thigh kink, stockings kink, a lil spanking, softdom!joshua

[1:44]

working late?

that's how it always starts—a knock on the doorframe, innocent, straightforward.

when am i not, is your standard answer, and joshua takes that as a cue to sit on the corner of your desk, his undone necktie dangling over his broad shoulders.

he compliments whatever excel abomination is on your screen (can always count on you to make a bar chart look sexy, is his flattery of choice today).

then you ask how his day was, and he repeats the same old platitudes. fine, just peachy, and you?

it’s always the same story, but how you get from there to under him is still beyond you.

"fuck, been thinking about these thighs around my head ever since today's meeting," joshua confesses, bending you over your desk.

you feel the warmth of his hands through your sheer, barely there pantyhose as he runs them over the back of your legs. he pushes your skirt over the curve of your ass, nice and slow so you can feel how heavy, indulgent his touch is.

you can't see his expression, but the sight of you, ass out with only tights on, makes him wonder how he ever got hard before meeting you.

"only here to chat excel and stare at my ass?" you ask, because the need to get fucked by joshua hong has irrevocably altered your brain chemistry.

"we can do that if you want." he laughs as he snaps the waistband of your tights back, relishing in how you twitch under him.

you've lost count of the nights spent like this, his knee pressed meanly against your cunt and his tie draped across your back.

it's just one night, you had told yourself, but then it was another (in the backseat of the company car after meeting with a client), and then another (in the print room on the copy machine). you even took a business call with his head between your legs.

"doubt that's what you had in mind," you retort, except it comes out a little more pitiful than planned because he's started to grind his leg against your pussy.

"i'm flexible."

you can picture his shit-eating grin, which would normally make you unspeakably mad if you weren't so turned on.

joshua's hand connects with your ass, once, twice, and you're glad the entire floor is empty because the sound you make is enough to ruin your career. but he rewards you, loves seeing you lost in your pleasure, and runs a generous finger over your cunt.

"can feel how wet you are," he murmurs, admiring the wet patch over your panties, now visible through your tights. "been waiting all day for this, huh?"

you nod weakly. it's pathetic how your hands claw at the mahogany of the table, looking for something, anything to hold as he rubs you over the two layers of fabric keeping you from him.

joshua's already figured you out, and you're almost drooling with pleasure even though all he's doing is circling your clit with a slow thumb. he then squeezes your pussy lips together, just rough enough so you can really feel it, and your knees almost give out.

for a brief moment, you wonder how messy you look, how glossy the nylon over your cunt is.

"please," you breathe. through your hazy vision is the blinding white of your computer, and you pray to god this experience doesn't condition you to think of him while you finish up your project tomorrow morning. "need it, need you."

joshua sighs, playfully dramatic, and for a second, you're stricken with the fear that he'll make you bounce on his leg all night without the privilege of getting split open on his cock.

but you hear the click of his belt behind you as he undoes it, like literal music to your ears, and the words just spill out of your throat—thank you, thank you, shua.

"oh, you have nothing to thank me for yet."

you feel his cock, thick and heavy, slide between your thighs, and you squeeze so hard around nothing you almost cum untouched.

it's going to be a long night.

[monkeytrick]

I am so fucking enraged at the way I’ve been treated man I have fucking nobody I can go to in real life. Getting kicked out of my house that I escaped to from my insane abusive family BECAUSE my roommate-turned-landlady who used to introduce me to people as her ‘new son’ got mad at me for seeking help for being fucking suicidal because of my aforementioned insane abusive family. Dude I started crying when she kicked me out and she just grabbed some fucking tissues and went on about how people have it worse than me like. Bitch I hope you’re haunted every night thinking about the fact that you left me for dead I hope I do fucking die and it ruins your life. Literally everyone who shows me what I perceive to be genuine kindness always turns around on me like this I’m so sick of it man why am I so disposable to everyone I meet?!? Why do I exist just to be exploited when I’m barely exploitable because I’m fucking rslurded for real I don’t get it. I don’t understand. I literally want to understand so bad. Every fucking time man every time someone actually helps me out with my miserable evil hell life on even the smallest level I’m like nooo you don’t have to do this it’s ok and they’re like haha no it’s fine and then as soon as I’m like hmm yeah maybe they mean it maybe I do deserve to have something good happen for once in my fucking life. They immediately pull the rug out from under me and reveal they don’t give a shit about me and just want to make me their fucking paypig or whatever. I’m so sick of man and I’m so sick of panicking and going to people I think I can trust and being like ‘hey man I just got set on fire and covered in ants and every coyote in the world is running after me can I get some help’ and having them be like. ‘Haha! Lol. Good luck with that man.’ And looking way, forever. Or better yet being like ‘hey man! Don’t worry. It’s ok! Don’t feel bad man! Don’t kill yourself! But don’t try to do anything that would remove the ants and coyotes and fire from your body bc frankly I think that would be incredibly selfish since you know I love pouring gasoline on you and all’. Like. I have nothing! My mom has been finding my shit again somehow despite me blocking her everywhere and she’s been sending the most horrible messages berating me for hating her BECAUSE I’M FUCKING HOMELESS! I might fucking die man! And if I do I hope it destroys everything left of these people’s fucking lives! I hope they can’t wake up without immediately thinking of me and how I suffered needlessly

[the-fiction-witch]

Shut Up!

Media The Queens Gambit

Character Benny Watts

Couple Benny X Reader

Rating Smut

Kinktober Day Fifteen

Kinktober Concept Incest

Smut Incest / step sister x step brother / full sex/ raw sex/ cum inside

I made sure the place was clean or well clean enough when I heard a knock at the door, I sighed and went to open it up but I was taken back "Hey Benny" Beth smiled jumping to give me a hug "Hey, Beth!" I smiled hugging her happily letting her in "What are you doing here?" "Layover and the flights have been delayed until nine tonight, I figured I could sit in the hotel bar feeling sorry for myself or pop up and see you" she explained wondering though setting her jacket on the chair and her bag on the table "relax I'll be out of your hair by eight"

"No no it's fine it's just uhh not who I was expecting" "Oh? You expecting someone?" She chuckled turning leaning in the chair crossing her arms "Kinda" "I thought the place seemed clean, what you got your girlfriend coming over?" She joked heading to make herself a coffee "Ohh god no" "Don't keep me in suspense then" she laughed But the door knocked "Excuse me" I sighed walking as slowly as possible not really wanting to answer the damn door but I pulled it open begin faced her I just let her in without even speaking

"Hello to you too" she snapped heading inside hanging her black fur on the rack and heading inside with her red suitcases "ohh I didn't realise I'd have company" she smirked as she stood in my apartment in her knee-high black boots, black and white plaid mini skirt and white cream jumper, her thick dark hair with intense curls her hair pinned back with a small clip on each side just above her ears "Uhhh hi," Beth said rather surprised "Beth Harmon" she said offering her hand

"Y/n Watts" she smiled giving her hand a shake "No, you are not" I snapped heading across the apartment "Mom took it so I'm gonna use it" she snapped "I don't care, you're not a Watts don't use it" "I can do what I bloody well like Benjamin" "Uhh explanation please?" Beth asked "Y/n this is Beth, grandmaster and a good friend of mine" I explained "Beth this is Y/n. My…." I trailed off not wanting to say it "I'm his sister" She rolled her eyes "Step sister" I corrected "Huu he's never mentioned you" Beth spoke up "He doesn't like me" she smiled pinching my cheek as she walked across the apartment "Why would I? You've been nothing but shit to me since you turned up into my damn life" "Can you be civil for five damn minutes!" "Whatever," I sighed heading to my chair Eventually, Beth and y/n came over and the three of us sat chatting for a while even if I had to drink to even tolerate her but that's pretty much how this usually goes. "So what are you doing in New York?" "Touring a show, figured I'd be cheap and come stay in this dismal place then getting a hotel the whole time," she explained "and I promised the folks I'd check in on my stepbrother" "A show?"

"Y/n's an actress" I smirked "And you're a chess player. Folks are thrilled about that" "How exactly is this all set up?" "My dad met my mum and had me. Mum died and he got remarried" I explained "My mother met my father and had me and then my father died so my mother remarried. And then we became siblings" "Step siblings" I corrected "He's always been pouty about it," "Yeah because you just turned up and inserted yourself into my life" "You literally inserted yourself into my space" "In case it wasn't obvious we shared a bedroom" I sighed "You were an evil thing" "So we're you" We all chatted for a while until Beth had to leave for her flight, leaving me alone with y/n. "Guess you're not just a loner chess boy" she smirked going to unpack "I'm letting you stay here to be nice. don't be a dick because I am more than happy to throw you onto the streets" "No, you wouldn't" "I would" "You are such a cunt" "me! I'm not the dick here" "yes you are you've always been a dick" "You're just mad I took half your pocket money" "You broke my favourite chessboard!" "You decapitated all my stuffed animals!" "You sewed love hearts on my jeans" "You faked an allergy so we had to give my cat away" "I wasn't faking that cat made me sneeze. Because he was a huge fluffy thing and you never brushed him" "Maybe I would if I wasn't dealing with the fact you cut my pigtails, twice!"

"You waxed my pubes while I was sleeping!" "You broke my doll house!" "You just fucking turned up! I was still in a bad place after I lost my mum and you just fucking showed up! you and your mother. we'd barely buried mine and you just showed up. and I was expected to just put everything down and accept a new mum and a sister. I never wanted anything to do with you" "You think I did! Need I remind you my dad was barely buried too before I had to pack my life up and get shipped across the county, all I was told was we were moving, and when I got there I had a new dad and some jumped-up stepbrother to deal with. Don't blame me for turning up into your life, I didn't turn up I was dragged kicking and screaming" "You boo hoo precious little princess, you always were" "DO you have to be such a bastard about everything-" She yelled I was beyond angry, all I wanted to do was shut her up! tension boiling over I grabbed her face and kissed her mostly just to stop her from talking but the moment our lips touched it felt so heavenly like all the frustration melted away she pulled back and we both just stood bright red in shock "Fuck-" "Yeah…" "where did that come from?" "I have no idea"

"It uhhh it was kinda nice" "Yeah, it was. Weird But nice. I mean terrible awful and very very wrong." I explained but she grabbed my face and kissed me, I kissed her back wrapping my arms around her waist and pulling her closer until we both pulled back "It is nice" "It is, but very wrong, very very wrong, your my sister." "Stepsister" she corrected "Don't encourage me." "That's encouraging?" "Ohh shut up y/n" I smirked pulling her into a kiss and grabbing her ass squeezing it hard as we kissed she happily and eagerly kissed back rubbing her hands around my shirt, soon enough we were walking we kissed heading over to my bedroom until we stopped as her legs hit the bed so I pushed her down on my bed and climbed between her legs "This is for all the fucking years I spent in a bed next to you with you teasing the living crap out of me" "Did I?" she giggled "Don't play innocent you used to sit in your fucking bra just to tease me" "And how many times did I catch you masturbating while I was sleeping"

"Maybe I wouldn't have to if you came and took care of me" "Diddo" she smirked pulling me back to her lips heavily made out for a good while until I pulled away "We can't this is crazy-" I began but she smirked and turned on her stomach grinding her ass against me "Fuck it!" I groaned grabbing her hips and grinding hard on her I quickly undid my jeans and stroked my stiffening erection she giggled and tugged her panties down, I didn't waste any time burying myself deep inside her and started to pound fast and hard "Ughhhh fuck! You were an evil little thing, their precious little princess, I'm gonna fucking ruin you" "Ughhhh! you couldn't ruin me if you fucking tried. I remember your first girlfriend who walked out because you came in her hair" "I kept quiet about you fucking your eight-grade science teacher" "I passed didn't I!" "Yeah because you blew him under the science bench! you always were a little slut" "Like you weren't? those three girls you had in your Austin hotel that you never shut up about?" "It was a foursome there pretty rare I was allowed to get excited. I guess four people in one go isn't a lot for you is it?" "Ughhhh just shut up and fuck me, Benny!" She yelled moving back and forth in time with my thrusts we both got faster and louder she pushed herself hard against me as she squealed loudly hitting her orgasm I kept going working into her intense tightness until I hit my own burying myself as deep as possible. When I caught my breath I pulled out and lay in bed with her, "I think that helped. got the frustration out" "Yeah I think you're right" I nodded "We can't ever tell anyone about this" "I wasn't planning to" she laughs "Relax, genetically there's nothing between us we're not related by blood at all our parents got divorced we'd be nothing again" "Like that's gonna happen, too are smitten with each other and always have been" "Yeah, can't fault them for loving each other." "Fucked us up though" "No matter what you do you fuck your kids up, that's just having kids" "Yeah hence why I aint having any" "same." "Ohh don't tell them that they'll lose it they know neither of us is gonna give them grandkids" "I mean I'll give them grandkids if they want them" She smirked glancing at me "Lets not fucked the family tree up too much y/n"