#i like you and i love him we could all be the best kind of friends (the kind that marries each other

[laufeysvalentine]

i want you.

remus lupin x fem!reader | masterlist

summary ༄ remus x best friend!reader -- or in which you're in love with your best friend, but he's not exactly in love with you back... angst

word count ༄ 3.2k

nora’s notes ༄ eeek my first writing post!! i'm so excited. this is kind of bad but IDC part two will be coming and i swear will be better written okay enjoy!! mwah 💘

“moony!” you sing-song as you twirl into his dorm, lips spread into a wide grin. “we’re leaving for hogsmeade, hurry up.” 

he’s on his bed, glasses slipping down the bridge of his nose as he glances up from his book, suppressing a smile when he sees you. “hi, y/n.” 

he embodies the word comfort, you think. he’s wearing one of his trademark warm wool sweaters, an empty mug of tea by his knee, gray blanket draped across his lap, and that smile. it would be the death of you, you were sure of it. 

“hi,” you respond, clasping his book and setting it onto his bedside table. “c’mon, everyone’s waiting for us downstairs.” 

he sighs so deeply you think he might crack a lung, and loops his pointer finger through one of the belt loops of your jeans to pull you onto his bed. “do we have to?” 

as much as you’d like to stay here with him, you also want to buy more chocolate frogs, so you spring back up, tugging at his hand. “yes, please. i’m low on my candy stock.” 

he groans, letting you pull him off of his bed and out of the dorm. “your sweet tooth is killing me.” 

you shrug. “that’s what you signed up for when you said yes to being friends in first year. now you’re just living with it.” 

he just hums in agreement, letting you wrap your arm around his. remus lupin, your best friend. he’s the kindest man you’ve ever met, let alone known. it would be a lie to say you weren’t completely and utterly in love with him, and even more of a lie to say you hadn’t been since before you were a teenager, even if you didn’t understand it then. but, alas, as soon as you’d admitted it to yourself, you also resolved to never, ever tell him. you were sure he didn’t feel the same about you, and why would you carelessly toss away the best friendship and most understanding person ever just for some feelings? 

and so, you waited and hoped, prayed that it would go away. you would move on and keep your friendship. 

and, of course, you didn’t. 

“y/n!” james calls once he sees the two of you walking down the stairs to where the rest of the marauders are waiting. “finally.” 

“we sent you up like ten minutes ago,” peter complains, frowning. 

you shrug. “oops.” 

remus shifts his arm to settle around your waist, nudging you in front of him. “well, we’re here now, so get a move on.” 

you thread the hand he placed on your stomach with your own, thumb rubbing circles onto his. he smiles down on you, and that smile, oh, lord. you could see it a million times and never have enough. you’d jump over bridges to have him watch you like that all the time. you’d sell your soul to be his, really and truly. and the worst part is, you have no shame about it. merlin, you’re in love. 

—

jelly beans or chocolate frogs, that is the question. you glance at one, then the other, then the other again. your shoulders slump. it’s too hard of a decision. you’re about to cave and get both when you feel warm arms wrap around your waist, a chin settling onto your shoulder. without looking, you press a kiss to remus’ cheek. “hi.” 

“hi,” he replies, inhaling your scent, nose tucked between your ear and your hair. 

“chocolate frogs or jelly beans?” you ask anxiously, holding up the two in front of you. “or both?” 

“both,” he agrees with you, and you can feel the tension slowly leaving him as he stands behind you, entwined with you. 

you nod, happy with his judgment, about to speak when someone beats you to it. 

“remus?” a voice yells from behind, excitement coloring her tone. 

you know who this is without looking too, but you wish you didn’t. remus slowly stands back to his whole height, and the sudden absence of his warmth makes you shiver. you turn just as he does, even if you don’t want to see the girl beaming at him. 

you know her, of course you do. doesn’t everyone know celeste huxley, the most beautiful hufflepuff to grace hogwarts’ campus? angels sing when she walks past, men and women fall to her feet in her wake. she’s worshiped, adored. okay, you’re being dramatic, but still. 

you hate her. 

you hate her silky hair, her evergreen smile, her cesspool of kindness. 

and you hate yourself more for hating her. she’s never been mean to you a day in her life, she couldn’t be mean to anyone even if she tried. but still. she’s who you’ve tried to be your whole life. she is the blueprint, the model with cherry-red high heels you wobble and blister your feet in. she has all Os on her OWLs, victoria’s secret hair, people who love on her like a celebrity. and she’s fucking obsessed with your best friend, of course. she could have anyone in the world, and she picked him. why couldn’t she love sirius or james, like half the girls at the school? why did she have to want remus? 

and the worst part is, she deserves him. he deserves someone as perfect as he is, even if that’s celeste. 

as you swallow down your hatred, you realize she’s started to pull remus away from you, pulling on his sleeve towards the jelly slugs, and you almost lob your stupid chocolate frog at her head. tears sting your eyes and you try your best to blink them back as you watch remus watch you, only half-listening to her blabber. he knows you hate her, and the most sheepish, guilty look comes over his face. you ignore him, putting your candy back, too upset to think about eating it. luckily, you spot sirius in the corner and quickly try to make your way over him when you’re pulled back. 

remus has got ahold of your belt loops again, and you watch him whisper something to celeste before gently removing her hand from his sweater and pulling away. he chose you now, but for how long? the thought chills you, goosebumps prickling your skin, your heart. 

“dove,” he says quietly by your ear. “what happened to your candy?” 

“didn’t want it,” you mumble, walking towards sirius. 

“why not?” he’s dancing around the topic, and both of you know it. 

“not hungry.” 

“i’m sorry.” 

“s’not your fault,” you say. you’re not mad at him, you could never really be mad at him, but you’re upset nonetheless. you push away towards the black-haired boy perusing the shelves. “siri, you done?” 

you link arms with your other friend, leading him out of honeyduke’s, leaving remus trailing behind. 

—

“hi dove.” a voice, and its accompanying owner, peeks out from the doorway into your dorm. “may i come in?” 

“hi rem,” you say in response, beckoning him in, putting your book to the side to let him crawl onto you. “can’t you always?” 

his shoulders sag slightly, slumping into your bed as soon as he reaches it. his head is in your lap, and he closes his eyes once you begin to massage his scalp with your fingers, pressing a kiss to your exposed hipbone next to him. 

you don’t say anything, you just let the silence dance between the two of you. 

he’s so pretty. you brush some of his sandy strands out of his face to let yourself just admire him. the towering giant and all his gentleness. your fingers trace the outlines of his face, the scars that decorate it, all the way down to his right pinky, where he has the cutest tattoo. 

i love you is all you want to say. the words pulse at your throat, begging you to let them free. but you can’t. you can’t lose him. anyone else, sure, you would do it. but not him. not remus, your remus. 

when he wakes, groggy but grounded, you have a hot cup of tea ready by your bed, ready for his consumption. you hand it to him as soon as he’s fully awake, pulling himself off of you to accept the mug. “i don’t deserve you, dovie.” 

“don’t say stuff like that, rem. if anything, you deserve better.” you press a kiss to his cheek, smiling. 

“there’s nobody and nothing better than you,” he promises, hand landing on your lower thigh to massage it gently. you smile, letting the quiet linger between the two of you a little longer before speaking up. 

“you wanna talk about it?” you ask, watching him sip his tea. 

he gives you the most adoring smile, and you want to put it in a box and lock it up and keep it forever. “just tired.” 

“okay,” you say, searching his face to verify what he’s saying. “you can always talk to me, you know.” 

“thank you.” remus is always sincere, it’s one of the things you love about him, but he seems especially sincere now. “you’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me, y/n.” 

“and you are to me,” you whisper, eyes dipping to his plush pink lips. you want to kiss him so badly right now, but you know he just means it like a friend, as much as you wish it wouldn’t. 

swallowing, you wipe those ideas away, choosing to rest your head against his fleece sweater-covered shoulder. he drops a kiss onto the top of your head, and you sigh in contentment. this is why you refuse to tell him you love him. you couldn’t live without these moments. 

“there’s a party tonight at nine-ish,” he says softly. his thumb is rubbing circles on your knee. “sirius is dragging me along. will you come?” 

you contemplate it only briefly. “i’m tired, rem. you should go, though.” 

“i’ll stay back with you,” he decides with resolution. your heart melts, it’s sweet of him to want to stay with you, but you want him to have fun. plus, you can feel in how his body coiled with excitement when he talked about it–he wants to go. 

“no, go.” you glare playfully at him. “i won’t forgive you if you don’t.” 

“i’ll stay with you,” he repeats, staring right back at you. “it’s just a party. i’d stay with you forever, you know? you’re my favorite person.” 

“i’ll be mad at you if you don’t go, i swear to merlin,” you egg him on, heart melting. 

“no.” he’s too stubborn for his good. 

“i want to be alone,” you lie. you know he wants to go and you refuse to hold him back. “i might come later on, just not at nine. i’ll be there at ten, maybe.” 

“and i’ll wait for you,” he promises. 

“please, remus.” you put on your saddest tone, gaze up at him pleadingly. “i just need some alone time.” 

“you want to be alone?” he asks cautiously, searching for any hint you may be lying. 

“yes.” you cross your toes, tucked under your quads. 

he’s hesitating, and as if in perfect timing, a knock sounds at your door before a familiar head of black hair peeks through. 

“moony, let’s go. leave poor y/n alone.” sirius clicks his tongue. 

you push remus’ shoulder lightly, gesturing for him to go. he casts one long look at your face, as if memorizing every ridge. 

“she’s not going to change while we’re gone, get a move on,” sirius groans from the door. you nod at the statement, and remus concedes. 

“i’ll be here the whole time,” you promise. 

“call me if you get lonely.” he makes you swear before reluctantly getting up. you kiss his hand to send him off. 

you were lying when you said you would join him at nine. five minutes after he’s out the door, you’re fast asleep under the covers, the ghost of his touch comforting you. 

—

as soon as your eyes open, you let out a sound of disappointment. you can tell you haven’t slept through the night, as none of your roommates are in their beds, and they always sleep in. the clock reads that it’s only a bit before eight forty five, and you roll over in your bed. you know you won’t be able to fall back asleep, but you try anyway, until the door slams and your eyes fly open. 

it’s lily, face flushed with the cold and excitement. the second she sees you kissed by sleep, she covers her mouth. “sorry, y/n! were you sleeping?” 

you wave her off. “no, i was already awake. what’s up?” 

“james is going to be at the party tonight. will you come? please, please, please? i don’t want to go alone with him,” she begs. “please.” 

you weigh your options: if you stay here, you’ll just lay in bed, not sleeping. you might as well go with her, you’ll see remus there too. 

“okay,” you agree, and she practically drags you out of bed, she’s so happy. 

—

even though lily’s the one who dragged you here to keep her away from james, she’s off with him in a corner within ten minutes of you getting there, leaving you in a sea of other people, alone. of course, you know most of your housemates that are stuffed into this crowded common room, but you don’t know any particular one of them enough to properly go up to and chat. you sit awkwardly on a couch for a few minutes, next to couples making out, before finally just giving up and getting ready to leave. 

you saw sirius going into a bedroom with someone, so he’s out of the picture, peter’s smoking in the corner with some ravenclaws you have no interest in speaking with, james is alone with lily, and he’d kill you if you interrupted them, and you have absolutely no clue where remus is. 

whatever. you walk towards the door to the girls’ dormitories, stumbling over students on the way, when you just barely catch a glimpse of sandy hair outside on a balcony. you’d know it anywhere–that’s remus. you scramble towards him, eager to see a friendly face, hand cracking the door open, when just as quickly as it came, the excitement dies in your throat. 

because just behind remus is a girl you hate to see. celeste, hair floating behind her. if you blink hard enough, you see a breeze wafting through her hair as her fingers knot around remus’–your remus–neck. his hands are on the small curve of her waist, and he’s pushing her against the railing and, oh god–they’re kissing. 

you let out a thick gasp and your hand slaps over your mouth. you turn and flee. they probably heard you, but they can’t maneuver through the crowd like you can. within seconds, you’re sure you’ve lost any trace of them, darting through people as you sprint outside to the outside of the castle. sure it’s past curfew, but you can’t bring yourself to care. 

no one will see you now. 

he’s supposed to be yours. he was yours, he was yours in more than just a best friend. those nights when he fell asleep in your bed, having you wrap your arms around him for warmth, he was yours. when you always visited him post-full moon in the apothecary, and as much as he wishes to push you away, you never let him, he was yours then. when he lets you in, truly and fully, and lets himself cry against you, letting you take care of him for once. you’re the only person he’s ever let himself cry in front of.

and even though you’d deny it a million times, and you did, to sirius, to james, you’ve always hoped that he liked you back. deep down, in the parts of your soul you only ever showed to him. he didn’t have to love you, even. just like, that would be enough. anything would. 

but that was too much for him, clearly. 

you’re crying. tears, fat and hot, soaking the skin on your cheeks. head in your hands, letting your open palms pool the salty water. you feel nothing but yourself and the wind against the cold of the stone steps, whipping your hair around. 

“dove.” 

you squeeze your eyes shut, hoping you’re hallucinating, praying the voice you just heard wasn’t real. you couldn’t see him right now. that would be humiliating. 

“y/n?” 

you crack your eye open when you hear the same voice, trying to swallow your sobs back and failing as they manifest into ugly hiccups. you’re not hallucinating. merlin damn it. 

in front of you, peering up at your blotchy face, is remus lupin, your best friend. the man who’s not yours. 

he’s on the step below you,  but one hand snakes its way onto your knee, soothing your skin with his slender thumb, the other finding your hand to intertwine your fingers. fuck, his touch both makes you lean into him and want to throw up at the same time. his eyes are chock-full of compassion, and god, you hate it. “what’s wrong?” 

his words send you blubbering into tears again, rubbing at your eyes as something splits open in your chest. “n-nothing.” 

“something’s wrong, love. let me help you. let me in,” he pleads in the softest tone, and you have to fight to not give in, to wrap your arms around him and never let go. remember celeste, remember that terrible sight of his lips on hers. 

“remus, leave me alone.” you’re shaking, but somewhere inside you, you find your resolve. you stand, pulling away from him, and make to run back inside the castle, but his long legs catch up to you easily, arm shooting around your waist when your knees buckle and you collapse onto the floor in sobs. 

“y/n, you’re scaring me,” he says, panic accumulating in his voice. “please tell me what’s wrong and i’ll fix it, i promise. please, baby. it’s killing me hear you cry.” 

you’re so close to the doors, you can see them. you stand again. “you don’t get to say that.” 

“what?” his arm’s still around your shoulder and you shove it off. 

“stop it! you’re so mean, remus. you don’t get to call me dove and call me baby and say stupid things like how there’s nobody better than me and i’m your favorite person and then go off and kiss other girls,” you spit out on the verge of hyperventilating. you don’t even know what you’re saying anymore. it’s just coming out, spewing out of your mouth like the vomit that’s sure to follow. but even as each word shocks you, you know they ring true. “i hate you for it. i hate you for leading me on for years when i’ve loved you since we were kids! you’re terrible, remus. i hate you.” 

he’s absolutely stunned trying to process your words, and you use the momentary distraction to race back into the school, gunning for your dorm and locking it once you’re inside. the image of celeste and remus plays through your mind all night, so much that you can barely even think about how you confessed your love to him.

masterlist | next part

tags @lydiasfalling @dancingwithourhandsuntied

[cybrasigilism]

Hi!! I’ve been reading a few of your works and I love your writing sm!! I’ve never done a request to a writer before, so I hope I’m not too vague or ambiguous (but I’m thinking what I’m about to ask could be TOO specific 💀), but I wanted to request an NSFW writing of Choi Su-Bong (Thanos) as a sub (and if you can, could you add a thing or two about edging him and/or overstimming him?). Personally, I’d preferably have them written as headcanons BUT whatever works best for you is most important, so I won’t mind whatever you decide to do :)

And if you’re uncomfortable with the request, ofc feel free to ignore! I appreciate it in advance if you do decide to write it, and I do hope you have a lovely day ❤️❤️

you won’t ever catch me turning down a thanos request, not while i live and breathe 😈🙏

TYSM FOR YOUR KIND WORDS BTW!! hopefully i did your vision justice :>

Submissive Headcanons! (Thanos/Choi Su-Bong/Player 230)

warning: smut and all things of the like (if you’re not used to seeing this warning on my page idk what to tell you) | not proofread | lowercase intended | sub!thanos | overstimulation | edging | begging | mommy kink if you squint | these are my headcanons for this character, please be respectful even if my opinions on the character differ from your own

character: thanos/choi su-bong (player 230)

A/N: we as a squid game society need more sub!thanos content, i’m happy to contribute my fair share. idk if this is ooc or not, because honestly i can see this guy being a total switch, but do with that what you will! enjoy :3 (lowkey running out of gifs for these stinkabutts) PS this may not be a read for you if mommy kink stuff makes you uncomfortable! i have many other thanos works that don’t contain that bc i know its not everyone’s cup of tea, i just thought it fit for these specific headcanons

MDNI! 18+ content under the cut, readers discretion is advised

  ———‿‿ ༺ ♰ ༻ ‿‿———

➤ thanos did not strike you as the submissive type, the absolute 180 that his personality made from the public eye to the bedroom was so drastic you could have gotten whiplash

➤ he will for sure be on his knees for you, both literally and figuratively. this man will do anything you ask of him, just as long as it means he gets to please you.

➤ he’s definitely the type to beg. he’ll give you the puppy dog eyes and go the whole nine yards if you agree to let him between your legs

➤ makes the most whorish sounds when you fuck him, especially when you praise him, even if its the smallest thing. even if you say something as simple as “right there, fuck yeah” he’ll be all over that shit, thanking you for letting him please you like that

➤ speaking of his moans, he gets quite high pitched when you guys get into it. i’m not talking anything crazy, just a lot higher than what you could have been expecting.

➤ some of the things you may expect thanos to say while you guys fuck can include:

“oh god, please keep fucking my cock, just like that”

“am i making you feel good, mommy? yeah?”

will straight up just call you mommy through his whimpers and whines if he’s too far gone

➤ goes crazy when you give him hickeys or bite his neck at any point that you can, whether it be before you guys have even stripped, as your jerking him off or while your actively grinding on his dick, he can’t get enough of it

➤ cries during rough sex, no further questions

➤ needs you to be touching him at all points of the sexual journey, loves when you rest your hands on his shoulders/chest as you ride him

➤ likes getting whipped THAT DAMN WIND AGAIN—

➤ goes ballistic when you pull his hair, the slutty sounds really show up then

➤ acts like he doesn’t like being edged, but he’s a sucker for it.

“fuck please…mommy just let me cum, oh fuck”

“i’ll do anything, i just need it so bad, i wan’ it p-lease”

➤ loves when you restrain him, it can be with anything. handcuffs, rope, your own two hands, ANYTHING

➤ choke him when he’s close, better yet, choke him while you edge him.

➤ he will cry when being overstimulated (trust you guys have a safeword set in place for overstimulating, as can be said for any other experimenting)

➤ loves physical touch during aftercare, it doesn’t have to be straight up cuddling, but just you touching/caressing him in any way at all

———‿‿ ༺ ♰ ༻ ‿‿———

thanks so much for reading! as per usual, any advice/constructive criticism on how i can improve my writing is appreciated and requested!

have a fantastic night/day lovelies 💌

tags: @gongyoosgf @kvstjwonnie @pink-apples001 @fiicalapsiholoaga

[mimipolo]

hi darling, how are you?

genuinely thank you so much for writing about Nam-gyu, I love him and it's kind of disappointing to see that there are almost no fics or headcanons about him :(

I am honestly in love with your way of writing (⁠◍⁠•⁠ᴗ⁠•⁠◍⁠)⁠✧⁠*⁠。

I would love and be very grateful if you could write something about Nam-gyu dating a girl who is more shy and quiet

thank you so so nuch

have a great day/night 🤍

Nam-gyu x shy!reader

|HIII I'm doing good tysm for asking‼️

|You gave me the opportunity to listen to one of my softer playlists while writing this so kudos to u

He's tries his best to be gentle with you, almost too much. Sometimes he mistakes your meekness for also being weak. Yes weak willed but not necessarily a complete push over. You just prefer to keep to your thoughts to yourself. He genuinely admires you for it because he could never tolerate someone talking shit to his face.

Speaking of he's super quick to defend you, any word he believes could offend you( it offended him more) is immediately being damned to hell. He's holding you close to his side as he shouts at the supposed perpetrator.

We all know he's a super yapper when given the chance so he loves being in your company and talking to you, or well, talking at you. More often than not he's being spoken over or whatever he's saying isn't being received but it's so much more different with you. You're happy to sit and do whatever you're doing as he talks your ear off. Sometimes when he says something especially interesting you ask a question and he's already giddy and ready to explain in unnecessary amounts of detail.

Feels like he's the chosen one because you chose him out of all the loud bastards out there to be with. He wants to brag and show you off so badly but he has to physically restrain himself because he knows how much you'd hate having so many people you didn't know have so much information about you. Sometimes slips in a comment or two...or more to Thanos, nothing too crazy.

You understand him better than anyone else, when he's about to go from frustration to anger, then anger to violence. You're that voice of reason just behind him urging him to reconsider what he's about to say or do. At some point he realises he hears your soothing voice coaxing him to calm down when you're not there. Genuinely shudders at the thought because you have that much of an affect on him?? Terrifying.

Sometimes he likes to sit in silence with you, the windows open and it chills the already cool room as his head lays in your lap. You're humming quietly to yourself as you make a mess of his hair and he's content on staring up at you blissfully as you do so.

Takes into consideration you don't usually like PDA so keeps most of it at home. But any threat of someone even hinting at hitting on you he's softly grabbing your hand to pull you away, mean mugging the person the whole time. You hate confrontation at all costs, remembering how you jumped in shock at him just shouting at someone haunts him endlessly. Avoids doing so unless very much called for.

One thing you'll always acknowledge is how much he tries to remember all the little things about you, the effort he puts into making sure you're comfortable noticeable in every interaction. Even if it looks unnatural on him, he swears he's trying.

Guiltiest pleasure is purposefully making you flustered. Loves turning your head up to meet his eyes just for you to snap your head away as you shrink under his gaze. Thinks it's the cutest thing ever. Especially if you take hold of his wrists and tell him to stop it but don't actually push him away.

One thing he always makes sure of is keeping Thanos in check when he's around. It'd honestly be easier just to avoid him all together but the man is anywhere and everywhere. Has elbowed his stomach roughly when he was halfway calling you Senorita. Would do it again gladly. Got teased a lot after for being so protective you, Thanos clapped his back like some proud father as if he wasn't the main culprit.

He's your number one defender. If you have no fans he's legally dead. Supports every small hobby you do, and insists you make something big with it. Just wants to see you excited about something.

He's a snappy guy with a smart mouth so he has to tripple check himself every time he's slightly upset at you. It's not that he means to hurt you with his words he's just a little too creative. But due to your lax nature conflicts occur very rarely, a sense of peace only you could provide him with. Even if you did argue he'd be folding immediately after he's cooled down.

"Don't hate me kay? I didn't mean it."

"Speak to me pretty, ya know I said sorry."

Doesn't let up until you give out a short laugh, signalling his success.

[heartepub]

from the vantage point of death (teaser)

summary. when the lord of the dead meets the goddess of spring, all his plans are derailed. pairing. hades!choi seungcheol x f!persephone!reader genre/tags. reverse hades and persephone au, bastardizing mythologies to form my version of it, unhinged mc (a little, but we love her), NO STOCKHOLM SYNDROME, suggestive in the full version, more tags to come by then preview wc. ~600 ; full wc. ~10k (likely more) target posting. March 20, i.e. spring equinox

notes. blaming @ylangelegy cos the hozier brainrot got 10000x worse and made me bump this fic up in word count more than my actual feb fics. title co-opted from uklg. my characters have taken over the page while I tag along for the ride. as always, reblogs are appreciated and come say hi if you're so inclined! stream hozier

For the first time in millennia, Seungcheol walks above ground. 

As expected, the Goddess of Spring’s domain is a lush garden, nothing but Life as far as the eye can see. He enters much more easily than expected; the wards have weakened concerningly so, even as the lingering magic in the air hint at their former strength. 

As he ventures in, the leaves sway to some invisible wind, a smidgen more alive-seeming than they would be in the mortal realm. Still, there is yellowing on some trees. Dead petals litter the floor. Leaves crunch under his shoe as he walks.

Though present, the Goddess’ magic is weakening.

“Goddess, are you here?” He calls.

In the distance, he hears someone coughing. 

Seungcheol breaks into a jog, concern rising. He plucks through the threads of death that he senses, filtering them out until a single golden string remains, though its luster seems to dull with every minute that passes. He follows it forward.

“Goddess, please speak if you hear me.”

“Here,” he finally hears a weak voice croak.

He turns, finding you sprawled a few feet shy of what is evidently your chambers. 

Seungcheol does not hesitate to lift you in his arms, walking up the steps you were collapsed on. Your breath escapes your mouth in reedy pants, eyes hazy and unseeing as you gaze at him without recognition. He nudges the gossamer curtains open, slipping through the gap while cradling you to his chest.

Seungcheol lowers you onto your bed, fluffing and adjusting the pillows the best he could. He finds a jug of water and a cup resting on a nearby table. Filling the cup, he tilts it up your lips. “Here. Drink.” You take small sips, holding not the cup, but his hands as he feeds the water to you. He feels your fingers trembling. Once a small noise of protest leaves you at the water still falling past your lips, Seungcheol quickly sets the cup aside, easing you into a lying position.

You close your eyes, breathing finally steady. Sorrow tugs at his heart as he wipes the sweat off your brow.

“Oh Goddess, how did this happen to you?”

It has been many centuries since the last time an immortal crossed the River. He wonders if the Underworld would be to your taste, absent of Life as it is. Only the lands of the blessed are lush with any kind of greenery, as it is near enough to Life, housing souls getting ready for reincarnation.

Lost in his thoughts, he does not notice the string of death that guided him to you suddenly wink into brilliant gold and disappear.

The Goddess’ eyes snap open, and Seungcheol startles. All too quickly, he feels strong hands grasp at his forearms and push. He stumbles back, almost tripping over his robes, but before he is able to resist, he lands in the middle of what he realizes is a ritual circle. The runes around his feet burst into brilliant gold light, washing the world in their glow. Vines rapidly begin to sprout, curling, tangling, and twisting above and around him. From beyond the light, he hears a faint voice chanting.

It is magic, but one entirely foreign to his eyes. 

Finally, the glow fades. That same force he sensed earlier seems to be binding him in place, making his limbs ten times heavier than normal. Seungcheol fights to stand, grasping at the structure in front of him to help himself up. A great tangle of vines surrounds him; despite their flimsy appearance, they refuse to break or wilt with any amount of magic he forces into them.

In fact, they only seem to grow stronger.

Confusion gives way to realization, and then dawning fury. He zeroes in on the woman on the other side of the cage. The haze in your eyes has disappeared, replaced with a sharp gaze and a triumphant smirk. Around you, the air crackles with power.

“Caught you.”

[leona-hawthorne]

lorenzo berkshire: how a relationship would be with my favorite male manipulator <3

(@mattnott this came out of the chat we had the other day LMAO ily zoya)

on the surface, lorenzo berkshire is just that guy. he’s effortlessly charming, polite, intelligent, and the kind of person who could convince anyone he’s the perfect human being. he’s the type who walks into a room and immediately draws everyone in—not by being loud or flashy, but by knowing exactly how to make himself seem approachable, kind, and maybe even a little vulnerable. but all of it is just a mask.

enzo is a master manipulator. he knows exactly how to get what he wants, and he does it by making people think they’re in control. he doesn’t argue or beg; instead, he plants ideas like seeds in your mind. “if that’s what you think is best,” he’ll say with a soft smile, knowing full fucking well you’ll second-guess yourself. he makes you feel like every decision was yours, even though he’s been guiding you the whole time. and the worst part? you don’t even realize it until it’s too late.

emotional manipulation and guilt-tripping

enzo doesn’t argue outright, but he’s an expert at making you feel like everything is your fault. when you expresses your feelings or doubts about your relationship, he deflects and twists the narrative.

“you’re overthinking again, love. you always do this—it’s like you’re looking for reasons to fight.”

“after everything i’ve done for you, this is how you see me? it just doesn’t seem fair, babe.”

the constant emotional exhaustion of always questioning yourself and feeling like the villain slowly pushes you to the edge.

subtle isolation

enzo doesn’t tell you to stop seeing your friends or family straight up—that would be too obvious. instead, he plants seeds of doubt about them, turning you against the people who care about you.

“it’s just… don’t you think your friends don’t really understand you? they don’t see the real you like i do. they’re only here for a good time. they wouldn’t stick with you when things are hard, like i do.”

“your sister’s always been jealous of you. it’s kind of obvious when you think about it. in fact… i think i she was flirting with me at the lake trip last weekend…”

over time, you feel more and more alone, with enzo as the only person left in your corner—and even that’s suffocating.

his temper leaks through

enzo prides himself on being calm and composed, but even he can’t keep the mask on forever. when you push back—when you really challenge him—his anger surfaces.

“you think you’re better than me now? after all i’ve done just to make you happy? you should be grateful i’m still putting up with you. no one else would.”

“you don’t get to treat me like this. i deserve better than your constant doubts.”

while he doesn't resort to outright aggression, the quiet, cutting anger and emotional coldness are enough to make you feel small and utterly helpless against him.

hypercritical tendencies

at first, enzo is the type to shower you with compliments. but once he has you, the nitpicking starts. he frames his criticisms as “helping” you or “protecting” you, but they’re really about control. he wants to cut you down until his words are the only form of validation you trust; the only ones that matter.

“that dress is nice, but it’s not really your color, is it?”

“i just think you’d be happier if you didn’t spend so much time on things that don’t matter.”

it’s not that he truly thinks badly of you; it’s just his way of slowly implementing his control. the constant criticism erodes your self-esteem, making you wonder if you’re ever enough for him.

dismisses your autonomy

enzo frames his controlling nature as “taking care of you” or “looking out for you,” but it’s really about stripping away your agency.

he might make decisions for you without asking, like ordering for you at a restaurant or canceling your plans because he thinks you “needs rest.” you simply don’t get a say.

“i only did it because i know what’s best for you. you’d do the same for me if you cared as much as i do.”

over time, you realize you don’t have control over your own life anymore—and that terrifies you.

you start to feel like you’re losing your identity. the things you love—your hobbies, your friends, even your sense of self—have all been swallowed up by enzo’s world.

his fear of losing control turns ugly

when you start pulling away, enzo’s fear of losing you makes him tighten his grip. he might start tracking your whereabouts, showing up uninvited, or trying to manipulate you into staying.

“you’re not yourself lately, baby. i think you need me more than ever right now.”

“are you seriously leaving me after everything we’ve been through? i thought you were better than this. i thought you loved me—was it all a joke to you?”

his desperation exposes just how deeply insane, how utterly selfish he really is—and how dangerous it is to stay—but you still can’t help loving him.

the breaking point: seeing the mask slip

your breaking point comes when you finally see enzo for what he truly is. maybe it’s a moment of anger where his charm gives way to cold cruelty. maybe it’s realizing how isolated you’ve become or maybe it’s catching him in a lie.

“you know what? you’ll never find someone like me again. you’ll never find someone who loves you the way i do—or touches you the way i do.”

“go ahead and leave. but don’t come crawling back when you realize no one else will put up with you.”

and suddenly, the illusion you’ve clung to—the one where enzo is perfect, where his love is worth the pain—is shattered.

enzo doesn’t beg you to stay. no, he’s far more subtle. he sets the stage so that if you even think about leaving, the world around you becomes a constant reminder of him. your friends adore him. “enzo’s perfect for you,” they say, oblivious to his carefully crafted facade, oblivious to the fact that he doesn’t even want them within 50 feet of you. your family loves him because he’s gone out of his way to charm them. “he’s such a gentleman,” your mom gushes after he brings her flowers for no reason at all.

and when you confront him? he doesn’t argue. he doesn’t yell. instead, he sighs, looking at you with those soft, sad eyes. “i just wish you’d trust me,” he says, and suddenly you’re the one apologizing.

and enzo’s love isn’t love—it’s obsession. he doesn’t just want to be with you; he wants to consume you. he integrates himself so deeply into your life that it feels impossible to untangle yourself from him.

he’ll listen to all your favorite songs and tell you how much he loves them too. “this one reminds me of you,” he’ll say, and suddenly, every melody feels like it belongs to him.

he’ll watch all your favorite shows, quote them back to you, and make inside jokes so that even your comfort series becomes a part of his web.

he’ll charm your friends and family until they’re all on his side. “you’re lucky to have him,” they’ll say when you confide in them. and if you ever leave? they’ll tell you you’re making one of the biggest mistakes of your life.

“i just don’t understand,” he’ll say if you call him out. “everything i’ve ever done was for you. because i love you.”

and here’s the thing about enzo: even when he’s truly, deeply in love, he’s still toxic. love doesn’t magically make him a better person—it just changes the way he manipulates you. instead of using his charm to pull you in, he’ll use his insecurities to keep you there. “i don’t know what i’d do without you,” he whispers, and it sounds more like a warning than a confession. almost like he’s saying he’d become worthless without you.

but love does soften him in some ways. his need for control isn’t about power anymore; it’s about fear. he’s terrified of losing you, so he holds on tighter. he’s still manipulative, still controlling, but now it’s because he genuinely believes he can’t live without you.

enzo’s love is messy and overwhelming. it’s the kind of love that makes you feel like you’re drowning, but at the same time, you can’t imagine living without it. and that’s the tragedy of lorenzo berkshire: no matter what he does, you can’t help but love him anyway. even when you see his true colors, you’re already too far gone.

© leona-hawthorne 2025. please do not copy, translate or repost any of my writing.

navigation. masterlist. lorenzo berkshire masterlist.

[paladin--strait]

family skate - luke hughes

here's the oneshot from the poll! hope you all enjoy! 🫶

-

it felt like a scene from a movie, but in the best possible way. luke and i were standing at the edge of an outdoor stadium, the cool winter air biting at my cheeks, but somehow it felt perfect. we were in new jersey and the entire field had been transformed. a full hockey rink sat in the middle of the football field, with the bright stadium lights casting an almost surreal glow over the ice.

there were no fans, no cameras, just the team, their families, and a few close friends, all out here to skate before the big stadium series game tomorrow. it was intimate, private, and it felt like we were part of something special.

i could feel the excitement buzzing in luke beside me as we walked through the halls and made our way toward the rink. the lights above cast long shadows on the ice, and i could hear the faint sound of skates cutting through the frozen surface, mixed with the occasional laughter and shouts from the players and their families.

it was a completely different vibe than a normal game night. there was no pressure, no crowd to impress, just the team having fun before the real action started.

luke’s hand was warm in mine as we walked closer to the ice, and i could tell he was in his element. even though he was always calm, always collected, i could see how much this kind of moment meant to him. it was a break from the madness, a chance to just be himself with the people who mattered.

“you ready for this?” luke asked, glancing down at me with a soft smile, his eyes gleaming with excitement.

“definitely,” i said, squeezing his hand. “this is so cool.”

we reached the rink, and it was incredible. big enough for the team to practice or skate around, but still small enough that it felt like we were in our own little bubble, isolated from the world. the ice glistened under the lights, and i could see the other guys skating around, already warming up.

there were no fans, no cameras snapping photos, it was just them, their families, and the people closest to them. it was as if they were in a world of their own, and i was lucky enough to be a part of it.

luke led me toward the ice where a few players were already skating around, taking laps and chatting. the air smelled like fresh snow, and the sound of skates slicing through the ice was oddly soothing. as we approached, a few of his teammates noticed us and waved over. jack hughes, his brother, was the first to spot us.

“hey! there she is,” jack called, skating over with that mischievous grin of his. “the girl that's got my brother smiling more than i’ve ever seen.”

“don’t listen to him,” luke said, rolling his eyes but clearly amused. “he’s just trying to make me look soft.”

jack smirked but turned to me with a friendly grin. “it’s okay, we all know he’s whipped.”

i laughed, feeling my cheeks warm a little. “you guys don’t waste any time, huh?”

“nah,” jack said, shaking his head like it was the most normal thing in the world. “we just like to mess with him. but seriously, nice to finally meet you.”

“you too!” i said, smiling back with a wave.

jack skated off, giving luke a playful shove as he passed. luke just shook his head, but i could tell he was enjoying himself. it was clear these guys were all close, their teasing and jokes so natural and effortless.

it made me feel like i was seeing a side of luke that wasn’t just the guy on the ice for the devils. here, he was just another guy messing around with his teammates, and i loved it.

as we made our way further onto the ice, luke grinned at me, like he was genuinely excited to have me join in. we skated a few laps together, and even though i wasn’t the best skater, i felt comfortable just being out there with him. it didn’t matter if i stumbled or wobbled on the ice, luke was right there to catch me every time. he made it look so effortless, gliding across the ice with that natural flow of his, but to me, it felt magical, like he was doing something special just for me.

“you okay?” luke asked, skating backward in front of me, his arms out to steady me as i tried to keep up.

“yeah, just trying not to fall on my ass...” i laughed, feeling a little clumsy.

“you’re doing great,” he said, his voice warm, making me feel a little more confident with each step.

we skated together for a while, looping around the rink, taking in the quiet of the night. it was amazing how peaceful it felt out here. no crowds, no noise, just the sound of our skates on the ice and the occasional laugh from one of the other players.

i loved the way luke’s face lit up when he was skating, how focused and relaxed he looked at the same time. it made me feel like i was seeing him in his element, but not the athlete that everyone else saw, the serious guy in front of thousands of fans. here he was just my boyfriend, enjoying a night on the ice with the people he cared about.

after a while, we slowed down and skated over to the edge of the rink, where some of the other players were taking a break. i felt a little nervous meeting more of his teammates, but luke was right there, making me feel like i belonged.

“this is so much fun,” i said, resting my hand on his arm as we sat on the boards.

“i’m glad you’re enjoying it,” luke said, leaning in to kiss my cheek. “this is one of my favorite things we do before a big game. no pressure, no fans, just the guys and their families.”

“i can see why,” i said, smiling up at him. “it’s nice to see you all just...being yourselves.”

“yeah, it’s good to take a break before the big day,” he said, glancing around at his teammates, who were chatting and laughing. “it’s not all about the game. it’s about moments like this.”

i leaned into him, feeling the cold air on my face but wrapped in the warmth of him next to me. the ice gleamed under the lights, and it felt like the perfect little pocket of time. just us and his teammates, no distractions, no expectations. the world outside the stadium didn’t exist for a little while, and i could see how much it meant to him to have these moments.

as the night went on, we skated a few more laps, and with each one, i felt more and more at ease. it wasn’t just about the game or the players, it was about the quiet moments between the chaos, about getting to know him and his teammates in a way i hadn’t before.

“you ready for tomorrow?” i asked, looking up at him as the night wound down.

“always,” luke said with a grin. “but tonight? i’m just happy you’re here.”

“me too,” i whispered back, leaning into him. the night was perfect, and no matter what happened tomorrow or the day after, nothing could take away this moment, this night with him, in this quiet, magical space, just us and his world.

[sugawhaaa]

🥀HAN ONE-SHOT🥀

🍄•♡°[ trust me ]°♡•🍄

Warnings//genre:: SMUT! Mentions blood, Virginity loss, FLUFF, oral (f rec) fingering (f rec) handjob, body exploration, body worship, sm praise bro, protective hannie, protected sex,

Pairing:: SOFT!dom!Han x sub!virgin!fem!reader

A/N:: bro I wrote this in like...three hours but I think it's the best fanfic I have EVER written. Like he is so fucking sweet I wanna kiss him

Skz masterlist:: 💕

🎧::

Things between you and Han progressed surprisingly fast throughout your entire relationship thus far. You thought Han would like things to be slow paced but, once again, surprisingly he was the opposite. That's why you weren't overly shocked when he abruptly asked about having sex.

"I know this is kind of abrupt but we've been dating for a while so I was thinking maybe we could try..." He's very tense as he asks you, nervous to see your reaction. "Having sex? If you wanna," The way he asked made you feel so important somehow, like this wouldn't happen without your enthusatic consent.

"I mean I'd love to, but," You pause for a moment and Han looks intruiged, showing that you have all his attention. "I'm a virgin," You sigh and Han looks taken aback.

"Really?" There's a long pause as he processes what you said. "That is surprising..." He chuckles and you laugh at his comment. "I just thought, you know, you're so beautiful and attractive that some man must've approached you by this point," He explains and you shrug, not bothering to touch on the subject of other men. "I don't mind by the way! I could be your first, show you the ropes, and I'll be oh so gentle," He promises with a confident nod. "But I will wait until you are ready,"

"I never said I wasn't ready," You smile and he looks at you, wide-eyed, and his cheeks flushed.

"So...Do you wanna..?" He smirks, trying to contain his excitement. You nod and he smiles sincerely. "Okay, wow this is exciting okay," he chuckles nervously and shifts on the bed to face you. He takes your hands tenderly in his. "Are you sure?" He confirms and you nod.

"Absolutely," you smile and he blushes softly. "I can't think of another person I'd want to be my first, experiencing something like this with you has honestly been my dream, my fantasy, everything," you blush and look down as you confess your inner feelings. "I trust you," you keep eye contact with and he smiles sincerely.

"Thank you Y/N," he lifts your hands to his lips, kissing your knuckles softly. "Let's get you nice and comfortable first," Han gets you to stand up while he fixes the bed, making sure the sheets are flat without a single crease. He then turns the lights out before turning on the fairy lights in the room, creating dim and warm lighting for an intimate and romantic night. He then turns to face you again. "Now, shall we undress?" He smiles and you can't help but blush at his care for your first time, all his efforts to make you comfortable. "I'll start," he takes off his shirt and tosses it aside in the pile of laundry. He holds your hips and guides you to sit on the bed as he finishes undressing. "Should I go all the way or just to my boxers?" He smiles down at you and you giggle.

"Mmm all the way," you smirk slightly and he laughs.

"Alright my little minx," he kisses your forehead quickly before pulling down his sweatpants. You watch as the baggy fabric falls to reveal his toned legs, his thighs muscular from lots of training, but what draws your attention the most is the bulge in his boxers.

You had seen his bulge before, whether it was intentional or not. Almost every morning it's hard to keep your eyes off his crotch. "Do you wanna do the honors?" He offers and you blush, a little flustered by the offer but you can't deny that you want to. You hook your thumbs on the waistband of his boxers and pull them down, watching his cock slip out of its confinement. Your face flushes as you see him for the first time, your lip subconsciously tucking between your teeth.

He rubs your head teasingly, ruffling your hair. "Like what you see?" He jokes and you huff at him. "I'm teasing," he caresses your cheek, rubbing his thumb over the squishy skin he loves so much. He then sits down beside you. "Would you like to...touch me a little or undress first?" He puts a hand to your back, offering comfort.

"I guess I'll undress a little," you nod and take off your shirt and pants, leaving you in your undergarments. You notice hans eyes chasing your breasts as you set your shirt aside.

"Fuck..." he mutters softly and it draws your attention. "Sorry, sorry," he puts his hands up in surrender as his cock follows suit, standing up. You chuckle softly, brushing him off.

"Don't apologize, I like it when you get flustered," you nod before your eyes flutter down to his length, standing proud and tall as it twitches against his stomach. "Is it okay if I touch you?" You bring your hand to hover over his most intimate area.

"Y-Yeah, of course, baby, I'm all yours," he leans back a little, his arms propped up behind him, exposing his cock to you. You hesitate before making contact with his cock. You can feel the throb of his heat, the silkiness of his skin, the wetness of his arousal, it's all so erotic and enticing. He moans softly, his head tossed and hair falling back, before chuckling softly. "Your hands are so soft...I've waited so long to feel you baby," he smiles blissfully as you continue to explore him.

You feel around his hardness, taking in the size and length of it, and watch it twitch in your palms. You then shift your hand into an O shape and slip his cock through the hole. He lets out a shaky breath before smiling. "That's good, yeah," he moans lowly, his voice raspy in pleasure. You felt your blood rushing at the sight of him like this, hearing his moans and praise got you so excited. He brings a hand up to your head, playing with your hair. "You're so good to me," his eyes fluttered shut in bliss. "Go a little faster, please," he chuckles in embarrassment at his request. "Fuck, yes like that," he praises as your hand moves faster, effortlessly gliding thanks to his precum.

You began to feel more bold and confident in your performance thanks to his praise and reactions. Before you know it his body is twitching and acting on its own. "Keep going," he encourages, gripping the sheets next to him hard. You weren't sure what else to do so you just kept jerking him off faster and faster until he started letting out these guttural groans. "Shit! I'm cumming baby," he cries out his head thrown all the way back as his back arches, his legs twitching slightly.

Cum spurts out onto your hands and a rush of excitement courses through you. The lewdness of feeling someone else's cum on your hands and seeing him reach such a high peak due to your ministrations was indescribably arousing.

Eventually, he calms down, his breathing evening out as he chuckles sincerely. "You did so fucking good babygirl," he holds the side of your face to kiss you deeply as a reward. At first, the kiss catches you off guard but you fall into it, bringing a cum coated hand up to his shoulder. Your tongues mingle and twist around each other as he leans in closer to you. He rubs your thigh softly with his free hand before pulling back, his hand still lingering. He looks up into your eyes and you can tell exactly what he'll ask next. "You ready?" He tilts his head, his fingers drawing closer to your panties.

"I'm ready, more than ready," you blush, the puddle of wetness in your panties now obvious. He throws your thighs around his waist and he picks you up. He sets you on the bed, laying back against the plush pillows he coordinated to support and comfort you. He gently helps you remove your undergarments, making sure you feel worshipped along the way.

"You have such perfect tits," he admires your breasts after removing your bra, gently cupping the soft flesh. "So soft," he kisses your nipple softly making you release a little squeak at the new sensation. After giving your tits a little attention he moves lower, giving tender kisses to your tummy. He peels off your panties, tugging them down your legs and tossing them aside. You reflexively cross your legs, hiding your vulnerability. "Hey, hey, don't be shy now baby," he brings his hands to your knees, prying your legs open.

"I'm embarrassed," you admit and he stops, looking up at you sincerely.

"Why babygirl? I've been waiting for this for way too long," he whines and you chuckle softly.

"I just...I didn't shave or anything because I didn't know we'd be doing this anytime soon..." you explain and Han sighs, thinking of how to respond.

"Listen...I don't really care," he explains, instantly making your expression change. "If it makes you feel more comfortable to shave you go right ahead baby, but if you're shaving on my part or if you are simply embarrassed because you haven't shaved, don't," Jisung nods determinedly and you blush, a smile creeping upon your lips. "Now, can I please see this pretty pussy?" He looks up at you with lust-filled and desperate eyes. You nod with a smile and he smiles back, proud that you are now comfortable with him.

He pulls your legs apart to reveal your dripping cunt, he doesn't even pay mind to the curly hair there, more focused on the slickness of your folds. "Fuck baby," he moans before running a finger up your folds. "Look at this," he says in awe, loving the way you respond to him. "So wet, so cute," he brings his thumb up to your clit, rubbing little circles on it. "What do you want me to do babygirl? Finger you or eat you out?" He tilts his head, resting the side of his head against your inner thigh as he continues to play with your clit.

"Maybe...both?" You smirk playfully and he chuckles.

"Should've guessed huh?" He places a gentle kiss to your clit making you gasp softly. "Don't be afraid to pull my hair baby, I know you're gonna want to," he slithers a finger down to your slit, guiding it between your tight folds. "Deep breaths baby," he encourages, his words slightly muffled by your pussy. You nod and take in long breaths. His finger trails in deep, roaming around your insides, familiarizing himself with your tender spots.

He takes a long time, taking a lot of care into finding all those spots and paces you like before actually fingering you.

He curls to fingers simultaneously against that squishy spot that makes you squirm as his tongue flicks your clit but he takes a pause to speak. "If it's too much just tell me okay?" He quickly resumes his ministrations as you whimper and sob.

"O-Okay," you tug on his hair, the silver strands lacing around your fingers. You let out a loud whimper and blush at your own sounds, sounding so pathetic and lewd.

"Keep doing that, moan for me," he groans, getting lost in lust and falling drunk to your cunt. He fingers you faster, a bit harder as well, seeking more music to his ears. You finally cave in, embracing your lust and moaning into the quiet room.

"Jisung, I-I think..." you bite your lip, unsure of how to confess such a sensation.

"You getting close?" He finishes your statement for you and you nod, your lips quivering as your brows curl up. He sucks on your clit, the room filling with slurping sounds and the sound of your pussy sucking in his fingers. You feel this warmth trickling up your body as your head goes fuzzy, your body lightly twitching from the sensation. Your hips buck up reflexively and Han pulls you through the orgasm, drawing out every last strand of pleasure, before pulling back. "How was that?" He smiles and you're left panting, your head reeling.

"Fucking...insane..." you pant out and laugh softly, the rush of hormones making you feel above the clouds. He laughs at your fucked out state before kissing your forehead.

"Such a good little minx," he pats your hip softly, a form of praise. "Do you need a break or shall we keep moving?"

"I wanna keep going, I've never felt so good," you explain and Han creeps up closer to you, hovering above you.

"I'm so glad angel," he caresses your cheek. "I'm so glad I get to see you feel like this for the first time. The way your lips part, your body twitches, your eyes squinting shut, your little cries, they're everything to me," he rests his forehead against yours as he speaks softly. As he speaks you feel his cock nudging against your lower abdomen, hinting that he's growing impatient but he will always wait for you.

"Trust me Jisung, I wouldn't change a thing in my life as long as I got to be with you," you kiss him softly and he smiles bashfully.

"Please Y/N...let me please you," he reaches over to the nightstand, searching through the bottom drawer for a condom packet. He sits back on his knees, his cock standing up and front. He holds the packet between his teeth and tears it open, tossing the wrapper somewhere in the room, before rolling the condom on with ease. "It may hurt a little at first but I promise I'll take it slow," he lines his sealed cock up to your slit. "Ready?"

"Mhm," you nod, eagerly waiting for the impending sensation to take over you. He gently pushes his hips forward and the two of you moan in sync.

"Fuck," he curses as his cock makes it only about halfway through your pussy. "How are you doing?"

"It kinda hurts but I can push through," you nod, gripping his shoulders tight. He takes one of your hands, intertwining it with his.

"Squeeze it," he nods before pushing his hips forward again. You let out a cry, squeezing his hand hard as you feel him filling you up.

"Fuck," you curse loudly. "It hurts but it feels so fucking good," you throw your head back, your hand trembling as you squeeze his hand.

"Deep breaths babygirl," he then thrusts forward, his cock filling you up. You jump, back arched, at the sudden increase in intensity. "Shh, Shh, it's all in baby," he kisses your lower jaw softly. "You're doing so good," he rubs your thigh. At first, Jisung moves slowly, allowing you plenty of time to adjust, but the condom helps lube you up a lot and soothe the muscles. As soon as he begins to slowly thrust your head spins.

"Is it supposed to feel this intense," you chuckle as sweat builds along your forehead.

"I know it's a lot at first but trust me, I'll make you feel so good," he promises softly as his hips skillfully roll against yours. You claw at his back, your nails digging in as you fall to the overwhelming pleasure. You let out cracked moans and Jisung finds it hard to hold back, craving you more and more as he thrusts into you gently, but the he hears the most reassuring words he could possibly ask for in this situation.

"Faster~"

Your voice was soft, a quiet yet desperate plea and Jisung is not one to deny a lady of her wishes. He moves his hips faster, falling to his own lust. He thrusts harder, deeper, faster, all the things to make your head spin. Your body begins to shake as you let out squeals of incoherent lust and everything just comes pouring out of the two of you.

"Oh yes fuck baby!" He groans as he unloads into the condom, hips twitching into yours. The two of you ramble incoherent lewd words at the overwhelming pleasure before slowly coming down together. "So tight," he groans.

"Fuck Jisungie," your body goes limp against the bed, your body still trembling from the intensity of the orgasm. He pets your head sincerely, feeling the softness of the locks.

"You did so good," he breathes out. "I suppose I should pull out just in case," he chuckles before pulling out, you could hear your pussy clinging to him as he eased out. He removes the condom, tossing it in the bin next to your bed. "I'll throw that out properly later, way too fucked up right now. Besides I need to take care of you," he smiles before noticing the cum dripping out of your slit, a hue of pink in it, but you were unaware. "Um this is kind of awkward but just so you know you're bleeding a bit," he says as he sits up next to you, pulling you into his lap.

"Shit really? You think it's from my hymen?" You blush, hiding in his chest.

"Don't be embarrassed, and probably," he nods and you sigh. "Let's get you in the shower, kay?" He scoops you up in his arms and you gasp at how effortlessly he lifts you. "Maybe I can please you some more in there, hm?"

[yumiknows]

Slowly falling in love with Han Jisung

Pairing: Han Jisung x fem!Reader

A/n: I’m horrendously in love with this man he’s just so babygirl but at the same time not like aaaaaaaa I can’t. Anyway here’s some cute stuff, enjoy 🎀

Content: You and Jisung are best friends for quite some time now, but it’s just now that you realize that you are slowly falling for the man you call your best friend …

Genre: best friends to lovers, floof✨, kinda slow burn

Warnings: none, I think

Word count: 2046

Masterlist🌱🌸

You were basically friends with all 8 stray kids members, some of them you were closer with some not that much but that doesn’t mean you don’t love them equally. Well that’s kind of the problem you do have a favorite among them.

Han Jisung was your best friend for almost 4 years now, you guys hung out a lot, if it’s just eating, or watching Tik toks together and saying absolutely nothing for 3 hours. It didn’t matter to the two of you, you just liked the other’s company.

•

You and the rest of stray kids were in the practice room just taking a break from learning a dance. You walked over to where you water bottle was located and sat down on the floor exhausted from all the moving around.

Jisung, the cuddle bug he is, slumped down beside you and immediately snuggled up to you with his head on your shoulder. This wasn’t out of the ordinary or anything it was quite common actually.

You looked over to him and pat his head ruffling his hair, he seemed to enjoy it because he let out a sigh.

You chuckled, „tired already, ji?“ he only hummed and nodded seemingly to lazy to answer properly. You only smiled massaging his scalp further.

•

You were friends yes, but you were still the opposite gender.

Still Jisung didn’t care, he invited you over for a slumber party. Sleeping in the same bed for the first time together was exciting as it was terrifying. He didn’t seem to mind tho. You guys watched a movie ate snacks and laughed. You had a great time. Still when it was time to sleep and he turned the light of, you were nervous. You turned to the middle, facing him.

„Why do you look so stressed out?“ he said voice a little raspy.

„You okay ? Want me to sleep on the couch?“

„No… I’m just- nervous that’s all“

„Aww you don’t have to be, after all you know me right ? No need to feel nervous“ he smiled at you.

You smiled back and nodded. His words gave you reassurance, you where still nervous but a lot less that before.

„Good night ji“ you said closing your eyes

„Good night y/n“

•

A hug from Jisung could honestly cure the world, at least that’s what you thought sitting on his bed, his arms tightly wrapped around you. You may had a bad day but who would remember it when you get hugged like this. His hand slowly moved up and down your back the other pressing you against him. You nuzzled into his neck, closing your eyes and just relaxing in the moment.

He broke the silence first „you feel better now?“

„Yeah, but don’t let go yet please. It’s too comfy“

He chuckled, only holding you closer.

•

Your in the recording booth, reading through the lyrics to the song, waiting for Jisung and changbin to arrive. In the mean time you talked with Chan.

„you got that ?“ he asks, after briefly explaining what you’ll have to do.

„Yeah I think so“ you nodded chewing on you bottom lip.

„Hey! no need to be nervous“ he said a reassuring smile on his lips, „You got this, as much as Han told us you’re an amazing singer. So just go with it. Even we have our voicecracks in the middle of recodings“

You laughed, you often watched the boys record and it was always hilarious. And Chans words only eased your mind.

„Thank you, Chan“

„Of course“ he smiled back at you, „now where are these two we don’t have all day“

•

It was a late Friday evening and you were invited to a movie night with all 8 stray kids members. When you arrived, it was Lee know who opened the door and let you in. You briefly greeted everyone and took of your shoes and jacket.

Walking into the kitchen you were met with Felix, Chan and Jisung you said your hellos and placed your snacks you brought on the counter. Felix and Chan were seemingly deeply in thought because they only mumbled a hello and were back to whatever they where doing. Jisung however, turned to you.

„Heyyyy you’re finally here“ he said embracing you in a warm hug, you gladly returned. After that he rummaged through your bag of snacks ‚oooh‘ing at some of them. He grinned at you, until Lee know called him from the living room. He gave you a quick kiss on the cheek and winked at you, as to say ‚you’re the best‘ and walked into the living room.

The rest of the evening was normal tho. You were sat next to Jisung on the couch the two of you sharing a blanked with Lee know. Jisung being in the middle. All of you got around to watching 3 movies until almost everyone was asleep except Chan, Lee know and you. Jisung being sound asleep with his head on Lee knows shoulder. Felix who sat on your other side, made himself comfortable on your lap.

Originally the plan was that you would go home after the movie but since you were really tired and it almost being 3 am, Chan wouldn’t even let you out of the house. So you talked with him during cleaning up, while Lee know figured out how to get everyone into their beds.

„So what’s the plan?“ you asked.

„Well, going home at this hour is a no“

„Yeah, I figured“

„You can sleep on the couch, or you could always ask Han? I’m sure he wouldn’t mind“

You went silent. That’s true he probably wouldn’t mind. But to be truthful it the last couple of months things shifted between you two, not in a bad way…just different. You seemed to value the time you have with him even more now, and those intimate moments like hugging or venting to each other has become much more sensitive.

Did you actually develope feelings for your best friend or was your mind playing games with you.

„Y/n ? You still with me?“ Chan laughed

„Huh- yeah sorry. I’ll ask him“ Chan only smiled at that and went back to packing the snacks up.

You quietly enter Jisungs room, it was dark and you could hear him snoring slightly. You opened the door a bit further so the light from the hallway beamed in. Fortunately it was a dim light. You debated for a second if you should wake him up until- „y\n? Why are you standing there?“ he said groggily.

„I-uh… I’m gonna stay the night and was going to ask if I could sleep here with you, but you were asleep so I was debating if I was gonna wake you up, or just sleep on the couch“ you blurted out.

He chuckled slightly „of course you can sleep here. You need something to change ?“

You looked down onto your cloth you wore something comfy to begin with some joggers and a tank top. The joggers were not the problem, but a tank top wasn’t your first choice to sleep in.

„Yeah actually, if you have a hoodie I could borrow?“

„Sure“ he turned on his bedside lamp and walked to his closet. He searched for a little then handed you a black hoodie.

„Thanks“ you smiled „I’ll get changed real quick“ he nodded and you walked to the bathroom.

When you returned in his hoodie spare cloth in hand, he was already laying in bed, waiting, surprisingly still awake. You closed the door, put your cloth on his chair and walked to the unoccupied side of his bed.

He smiled at you while you where getting comfortable. You turned to face him. He twisted to turn off the light, then also faced you.

„Still nervous?“ he asks mockingly

You roll your eyes playfully „No, remember I know you, why should I be nervous“ you smirked.

„Using my words against me, I see“ he scoffed.

You chuckled „good night ji“

„Good night y/n“ but he didn’t close his eyes yet and neither did you. So you just looked into each others eyes for what felt like forever. But it was a good kind of forever. A forever that neither of you wanted to end.

You were the first one to break the silence „you know, I really enjoy spending time with you“

„I would be hurt if you didn’t“ he smiled „but I do too“

„Im really tired, but I don’t want to sleep yet“ you said, eyes not wanting to close but so heavy from the long day.

„It’s okay I’ll still be here tomorrow“ he reached out to grab your hand and intertwined them.

And with that both of you closed your eyes and soon fell asleep.

•

Sitting on his bed cuddled up in a blanket and one of his hoodies in a dim light. He was sitting at his desk working on something you have no idea about. It was late at night almost midnight.

You were staying over tonight. It has become a frequent thing since the last movie night a month ago.

You were just kinda sitting there and admiring him. You have to admit that he was really cute but at the same time so handsome.

While admiring was cool and all it was getting late and he showed no sign of stopping anytime soon, and you were getting rather tired. So what’s a logical thing to do? Right, telepathy.

You didn’t wanna disturb him, but at the same time you were about to fall asleep sitting up.

So against your own words you stood up and walked over to him, leaving the blanked on the bed.

You slowly approached him from behind hoping he’ll notice you, but he didn’t. He was wearing headphones after all. So you slowly placed your hands on his shoulders.

He only hummed in responds.

You you took his headphones off his head and placed them on the desk besides his laptop. To that he turned around confused. „Something wrong?“ He asks voice a little raspy for not speaking for several hours.

„Nothing in particular…“ You said head tilted to the side a bit, hands moving from his shoulders to his chest slowly. „You know, just the human need to sleep“

Your hands began to massage his tense shoulders. He groaned in responds to that. He turned to his laptop again and saved.

„Alrighty“ he sighs „you ask, you shall receive“ he closed his laptop and turned around with his chair. You smiled down on him. He wrapped his arms around your middle and buried his head in your stomach, you chuckled „and what’s this?“ you ask, placing your hands on his shoulder once again.

„Don’t know but you’re comfy“ you brush through his hair before getting out of his grip „come on it’s even more comfy in bed“ you said as you walked over and plopped yourself down on the bed.

He pouted, but quickly turned off the desk light and followed you, Tackling you down with him. He was on top of you face buried in your neck. You laughed „Ji, what are you doing?“.

„Your beautiful you know that?“ he says while coming up from your neck. You just locked at him, slight shock in your eyes „I-” „I mean it“ he looked so serious.

His eyes wander from yours down to your lips, but quickly go back up to your eyes. You smiled, locking your hands behind his neck.

„Your pretty beautiful yourself“ he smiled hard at that.

It was silent for a while, just you and him staring so lovingly into each others eyes. Your eyes landed on his lips, and you leaned forward connecting your lips in a gentle kiss, which he eagerly returned.

Just when you were about to part, he pulled you back in for a more intense kiss.

When you parted you were both breathing slightly harder. But both smiling ear to ear.

„That was … amazing“ he panted out.

You only laughed and nodded at that.

„So I take it that you love me too?“ he asks.

You chuckled „ yes, ji I love you“

„God I waited so long for this“ he said before kissing you again.

-yumiknows

[phoenixyfriend]

I had a very long Star Wars dream last night. Baffling level of narrative coherency for a dream.

Started out with Obi-Wan Kenobi, our bespectacled thirty-something, going to a university for a Grad Student thing. He's been working for nonprofits for some time, and wants to get a degree to further his work.

He gets to an advisor's office, (which is a Generic Salt-And-Pepper White Man buuuuuut we could probably swap out for an actual AU, maybe make it Mace?) who walks him through the courses and prereqs and so on. Great. All going good. He goes out to some kind of program meeting with his fellow grad students (some straight out of undergrad, some his age) and a sort of team lead person who is… Anakin Skywalker.

And it is. Tense. Like 'everyone can feel it' tense. Anakin's doing something Doctoral, whatever, and his purpose right now is to Program Manage these grad students in another department (Anakin does some analytics and database stuff for the department), and one of those students is Obi-Wan Kenobi and nobody can figure out what the damage is.

They attempt professionalism. They are… cordial. They avoid each other otherwise.

Several weeks in, there's a "we should talk confrontation" and Anakin blows up because the time to talk was years ago, Obi-Wan! Like five to ten years ago! When shit went down!

FLASHBACK TIME: These two were doing crime. It was a team of seven. I don't remember all of whom were involved but it was definitely them two, Rex and Cody, maybe Quinlan? and a few other people. (Not Ahsoka, she was excluded for safety because teenager).

They were probably doing some kind of Leverage stuff but also possibly some domestic terrorism. A job went bad, Cody died, and they all kinda split to do their own things. Partly this was to dodge law enforcement, but partly it was because they were all fucked up and grieving.

Obi-Wan wanted to take some time to himself to grieve, which Anakin was upset about because they're not just brothers in arms, they're basically brothers, at least in Anakin's eyes, and they had a huge blow-up fight about it. They haven't spoken since.

(Rex is in Anakin's life again. He acts as an Uncle figure to the twins. He is also… not in the best mental space, considering his own dead brother.)

Obi-Wan ends up getting pulled aside to talk to someone, probably Mace or Yoda, and a no-criminal-activity version of the story spills out. And it's very 'well what the fuck am I supposed to do with that' because the person pulling him aside was thinking it was like… they had a one-night stand before the program started and now they don't know how to navigate the power dynamic, not grief and distance and family bullshit.

IDK where it was gonna go from there, I think they were still circling each other like feral cats trying to decide what to do when I woke up.

(There was a sideplot about Padme and the twins doing fun things in the basement, but the fun things included a well that they'd use to act out Alice in Wonderland and other insane stuff. Which they loved but was weird. Why do you have a well that's at least ten feet deep in your basement, Padme. Why are you putting your kids in there. Also I had to run away from a bunch of wasps into a pool.)

Rex and Cody! Are just! Background Grief Bullshit! But it hovers over the entire fic.

I think Quinlan should bully his way back into Obi-Wan's life before the plot starts.

And he's the one that angles Obi-Wan into going to This Specific University. That Anakin's at.

He didn't expect them to be that close contact, just wanted them to run into each other in the hall and make amends. In my mind, the timeline is that the crime group broke up for opsec, then a year or two later Quinlan shows up on Obi-Wan's doorstep with intent to Friendship.

Obi-Wan would have done the same with Anakin but their fight was so big and horrible that he doesn't think he'd be welcome.

NGL even in the dream I was like "wow this seems like a really intense Obikin fic concept," but every time I thought about it, the dream would hammer in on the BROTHERS thing again.

[floralcavern]

The difference between male wish fulfillment vs female wish fulfillment in romance anime

There’s kind of a different gaze that can be targeted to in romance anime. 

In male wish fulfillment anime romances, there’s usually a much heavier emphasis on the male love interest’s pov than the female’s. Also, women tend to be much more.. objectified and there’s an unnecessary amount of fan service. An example of this is Rent a Girlfriend and Don’t Toy With Me Miss Nagatoro. It’s more about the male lead being hit on by.. really horny women than actual romance.

However, in female wish fulfillment anime, it tends to be more told from the female’s perspective. The way the male love interest tends to be written is to make him emotional and aware and.. kind, rather than objectifying him or even making them horny, because women.. we don’t really want to be lusted after like that, typically. We’re already objectified enough. My favorite example is Kimi Ni Todoke: From Me To You. Kazehaya admits he’s a ‘pervert’ but in a respectful way. The writer doesn’t make him fully pure or naive or anything like that. He’s still a teen boy. But in this series, the male character is written to be sweet, emotional, and aware but he’s not stripped away from his inherent masculinity (nontoxic masculinity!). Not just.. a guy, if that makes any sense. Meanwhile, in male wish fulfillment anime, the women are just women, rather than characters. Again, I hope this makes sense!

Now, I’m not saying all romance anime that’s written from the female’s perspective is the best! I think MY Love Story!! is a good example of this! The main character is a male and he’s a genuine, total sweetheart while still having a sense of masculinity! And the female character isn’t objectified! And I would even say even say that this show could be considered a male wish fulfillment romance, based on how it’s written.

And then there’s shows for both, like Kaguya Sama: Love is War. In this show, the two love interests have complete equal power in focus, making them feel completely balanced and real. Neither are objectified and both get treated like humans. Same with The Apothecary Diaries, if not more so!

Anyways, sorry for this ramble. I just really like (well written) romance anime. And I will leave off with a list of romance anime recommendations!

•Kimi Ni Todoke: From Me To You (adorable, fluffy, amazing character development, doesn’t beat around the bush the entire fucking series. Half of the manga is pining and the other half is the complexities of being in your first ever relationship as you try to navigate it all)

•Snow White With The Red Hair (amazing female lead with cool world building and interesting dynamics)

•MY Love Story!! (SO CUTE! Amazing show about not judging appearances)

•My Happy Marriage (Really wholesome Cinderella type story)

•Kaguya Sama: Love Is War (hilarious. I actually recommend the dub. Genuinely really sweet)

•Sasaki To Miyano (so sweet it’ll give you cavities)

•Tomo Chan Is A Girl (there is sadly quite a bit of fanservice in this. I’ve seen way worse, but ya. If you’re wanting something to watch with your parents, this may not be it. Mostly just close ups on boobs)

•Monthly Girls Nozaki (romcom that leans really heavy on the comedy more than the romance, but I love it too much to not recommend. Watch it in the dub, you won’t regret it)

•Fruits Basket (Really sweet)

•Toilet Bound Hanako (THE MANGA! READ THE MANGA! DON’T LET THE TITLE WEIRD YOU OUT, I SWEAR IT IS INCREDIBLE! READ!)

•Komi Can’t Communicate (I would, however, like to apologize for Yamai ahead of time. The entire fandom hates her, don’t worry)

•Toradora (haven’t seen it in a while, but it’s a classic lol)

•Horimiya (Another romance anime that doesn’t beat around the bush!)

•The Ice Guy And His Cool Female Colleague (SO. CUTE. AGHHHH. Despite it being ice themed, it certainly makes me feel warm and fuzzy)

•Love, Chuunibyou, and Other Delusions (so silly, amazing story about maturity while also keeping your inner child alive)

•I Want To Eat Your Pancreas (be sure to bring tissues! You will cry!)

•Kamisama Kiss (I really like the characters and world building in this one. Sadly, we’ll probably never get another season 😔)

•Words Bubble Up Like Soda Pop (SUCH A CUTE MOVIE! Amazing feel good romance that just makes you happy)

•My Little Monster (not my usual first recommendation, but it’s an overall fun watch… still so desperately want another season. False hope lol)

•Ouran High School Host Club (an absolute classic romcom. Another situation where I actually recommend the dub)

•Apothecary Diaries (AGGHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!! …full stop. I love this show.)

•Princess Tutu (I LOVE THIS STORYBOOK SETTING! And Ahiru is so silly. She’s just a duck, she can’t handle all these responsibilities!)

[the-witty-pen-name]

The Love Triangle from Hell (5)

Steve Harrington x F!Reader / Eddie Munson x F!Reader

Synopsis: Following the events of PART FOUR, you all begin to pick up the pieces and start to heal.

Word Count: 3.2k

Warnings: kissing, messy messy feelings; unrequited love; cursing/name calling; arguments; crying; hurt/comfort; angst; miscommunication; jealousy; happy ending; fluff

A/N: We have made it to the final part of our story. I'm honestly sad to see it end- but it's not *really* over, is it? Again, everyone who has commented and reblogged- you are my muse. It was your kind words who kept me motivated. Thank you so much. You all are so amazing. Please, please, please don't hesitate to send me questions or requests- do you want to see more post-story drabbles, more angsty flashbacks, headcannons? Let me know and I will do my best to deliver. My inbox is open for requests.

Alternative ending coming soon!

SERIES MASTERLIST

Because Steve crashed at his parent’s house, he hadn’t been home to see that Eddie never came back last night. Instead, he woke up in his childhood bedroom after a night of tossing and turning. He wanted to call you- he picked up the phone and hung it up so many times last night. He knew you probably wouldn’t appreciate it, so he resolved to wait until morning. He hardly slept. 

With tear stained cheeks, Steve knew he needed to get up and shower. After he was dressed for the day, he sat at the edge of his bed, staring at the wall. He didn’t know what to do, and he didn’t want to go home yet. He couldn’t face Eddie. He was so embarrassed and ashamed. 

He needed to take a walk to clear his head. He ended up deciding to get coffee. There was a coffee place he walked to and after that, with 2 coffees and a bag of bagels in hand. He decided to stop by your apartment. You’d have coffee and bagels and talk this out. If you would let him, it would be his do over to make up for last night. 

He walked up to your apartment two steps at a time balancing the coffee tray carefully with both hands to not spill. He lets himself take a moment. He smooths out the front of his jacket. And tousled his hair to look a little more presentable. He hopes you don’t slam the door in his face when he knocks. He stands up straighter when he hears the door unlock.

You open the door, but not all the way. You poke your head out from behind the partially open door. You’re still in your pajamas. A very old t-shirt that Steve has seen you in a million times before and flannel pajama pants- you look your best like this, Steve thinks. His brows furrowed in confusion when you step out onto the porch with a sweatshirt and don’t invite him in. 

“I got you a coffee,” he offers, “a peace offering for last night.”

. I was being an asshole.” 

“Listen, Steve..,” you begin. You cross your arms over your chest and look down at your feet. “I don’t know how to say this… Now isn’t the right time…”

“I’m sorry, I just thought we could talk in person,” he explains, “I just wanted to- you know, apologize in person.” 

“I get it.”

“I- I just, look,” he says gathering his thoughts, “I didn’t handle any of this right- at all. I’m never going to be able to forgive myself for taking this long to realize my feelings, but…”

“Steve. Stop- listen,” you say anxiously, tugging at the sleeves of your sweatshirt. “Before you go on, I need to tell you…”

“What is it?”

“Eddie stayed over last night.” 

Oh. 

Oh. 

“Oh…”

“Steve-”

“He’s still here, isn’t he?” Steve finally catches on. You hang your head, unable to look him in the eye. He blinks back the threat of tears. “Okay, um,” he clears his throat. “I’ll, uh, get out of here.”

“Steve- wait…”

“No, no it’s okay, really,” he tries to insist, trying his best to not break his cool. “Uh, anyways- take the coffee and stuff, anyways… I gotta go anyway.” 

He’s down the stairs and down the block before you can stop him. You slip back inside. You leave the coffee and the paper bag on the table. You couldn’t touch them. You take a seat at the kitchen table, staring at them. Eddie was still asleep, easily slept through Steve’s knocking. It’s a few minutes of solitude, just lost in thought, before the front door opens with a whoosh. 

“I’m surprised you’re up,” Robin marvels, kicking off her shoes. She hangs up her jacket, she’s wearing her same clothes as yesterday. You offer her a knowing smile. 

“Yeah,” you agree. “You just missed Steve.”

“What does that mean?” she asked hesitantly. “Did you and Steve-”

“Nope,” you say, realizing now what that sounded like. You shake your head- you have so much to fill her in on. “Eddie’s here- and Steve showed up with coffee and bagel for me.” 

“Wait. Wait. Wait,” she hurries over and takes the seat across from you- taking one of the coffees. “You slept with Eddie?”

“Eddie and I went to Lover’s Lake after the game-”

“Ew! Did you do it in the van?” Robin gasps. 

“No!” You say embarrassed, “We were just there, and Steve followed us. He started banging on the side of the van and scared the shit out of me.”

“What did he say?”

“Get your fucking hands off my girl.” You watch Robin’s jaw drop. 

“No, he didn’t!”

“He did! And he called me ‘baby.’” 

“What happened after that?”

“Well, Eddie drove me home and I invited him to stay. It wasn’t like that at first. I just- you weren’t home and I didn’t want to be alone so I asked him to stay with me.” 

“Sounds like it was that from the beginning,” Robin teases. “And Steve came here this morning to apologize and win you over and you had to tell him you slept with Eddie.”

“Pretty much,” you nod. “He’s still here.”

“Eddie’s still here?”

“Yeah, he’s asleep.” 

“Holy shit, dude.”

“I know!”

“Explains that huge hickey,” she jokes and you swat her arm. “Was he.. Was he good?”

Your eyes widen, “Robin!”

“I don’t know what to ask!” She holds her arms up in surrender. “So are you and Eddie, like together?”

“We didn’t really talk about that yet.” 

“He’s been in love with you since he was like 17,” Robin points out. “You think he’s going to not want to be with you?”

“No- it’s just, it’s all happened so fast. I just don’t want to ruin anything.” 

“I’m gonna call Steve,” Robin says, “I want to check on him.” You nod in agreement. 

“Yeah, that would be good,” you agree. 

The door creaks open when you slip back into your bedroom. In your absence, Eddie has starfished out on his stomach and has taken up the whole mattress. In just his boxers, he snores very softly as the light from the window is starting to beam in through the panels of your blinds. You walk over to the side of the bed, crouching down to be eye level. You gently stir him awake. 

Eddie can’t put into words how incredible a feeling it is that you are the first thing he sees when he wakes up. He smiles lazily with his face squished against the pillows. He reaches out and beckons for you to join him back in bed. He scoots over so you can have space to slide in next to him. The messy bed and the cozy blankets are so inviting, it would be just enough to help you forget about what’s waiting for you outside this little sanctuary. 

“Come on,” he pouts, and you can’t help but concede. He pulls you into him, spooning you. He pulls the blankets over the two of you. You turn to face him, but he keeps his arm slung over your waist. 

“Steve was just here,” you whisper. 

“Are you okay?” he asks, concerned. The news of Steve’s visit wakes him up. You nod. 

“Yes, it was just a hard conversation,” you volunteer. “He knows you stayed here last night.” 

“How’d he take that?” Eddie asks.

“Um, I could tell he felt hurt,” you admit, “he brought me breakfast; wanted to apologize and try it over with me… I told him you were here, and he accepted it. He was clearly upset, but he didn’t take it out on me. He, um, looked devastated. But he just left after I told him.” 

“Can I ask you something?” Eddie asks, sounding shy and suddenly unsure of himself. 

“Of course,” you say encouragingly. 

“What did last night mean? You know, like- where do we stand?” Eddie isn’t sure if he even wants to know the answer. He’s so worried you’re going to reject him- tell him last night was a mistake. He’s bracing himself for the heartache of losing you.

You trace your hand gently over the side of his face, helping move his hair away from his eyes. Is it even still a question? You can’t help but smile. It all makes sense.

“I love you, Eds,” you confess and it feels like the weight of the world lifts off his shoulders. “I’m sorry it took me so long to see that,” you apologize, but he’s too wrapped up, he doesn’t even care. He pulls you in for a kiss, slow and passionate. Everything feels right- finally. 

“I love you so much, sweetheart,” he murmured against your lips. 

Your senior year (Eddie’s second), Eddie finally convinced you to sneak out on a Tuesday night and come see Corroded Coffin play at The Hideout. Your parents would kill you if they knew you were at a bar forty-five minutes away past eleven on a school night to see some boy with long hair and tattoos play in his metal band. They wouldn’t care if you insisted he was just a friend.  Thankfully, this is something they will never find out. 

Eddie felt on top of the world that night. He played better than he ever has, because you were there to impress. He could watch you, as you sat comfortable at a table all to yourself, singing along to songs you had no idea where even about you. You cheered and clapped at the end of every song- not caring if you were the only one in the room to acknowledge them. 

“Are you gonna ask her out tonight?” Jeff asks, covering his microphone between songs. 

“I don’t know- maybe. Shut up,” Eddie flushes, petrified you would hear. You hadn’t- you were completely oblivious to the way you made him feel. 

“If you don’t, I will!” Gareth whisper-shouts over his drum set. He laughs when Eddie turns around and flips him off. When he turns back around, you lamely throw him two thumbs up and grin widely. He mouths “Dweeb” to you across the bar and you stick your tongue out at him. 

Eddie did attempt to ask you out that night. Unfortunately, he was so nervous when he did it, you didn’t realize he had meant for it to be a date. He still cringes at how he ended up paying for Dustin, Mike, Lucas and Max to play mini golf and how shocked he was when they ended up tagging along. When he thought it couldn’t have gotten worse, the rest of Hellfire showed up as well. Since when did he have this many friends? He remembered thinking. 

Robin calls Steve a few times before she’s able to get through. She must have caught him right as he was getting home. 

“Yeah?” He sounds irritated. 

“Wow,” she says with a tisk. “Rude much?” She hears him take a breath. 

“I’m sorry, long day,” he mumbles. 

“It’s like 9:30,” Robin muses and he scoffs. 

“So you know?” He asks. 

“I know.” 

“I’m a fucking douchebag!” Steve exclaims, upset with himself still- clearly. “I can’t blame her for wanting nothing to do with me.” 

“You’re her oldest friend, Steve,” Robin points out, “She didn’t say she wanted nothing to do with you. She and everyone else I’m sure just everything to go back to normal.” 

“Normal except she’s with Eddie and I have to be around that everyday.” 

“Like how she was with you, for I don’t know- years! You’re being hypocritical. Don’t you think?” 

“Did she say that she and Eddie are together?”

“Not explicitly,” she says hesitantly, “Come on, Steve. You gotta let it go.” 

Steve flops down onto the couch and groans. He knows he’s being hypocritical- he knows he isn’t being fair. It doesn’t make the pain hurt any less. Something he couldn’t shake tugs at the back of his mind. You didn’t tell him you and Eddie were together, just that he stayed over. That doesn’t mean that you’re necessarily together. He knows he’s fooling himself. It’s so hard to just let it go. 

“The whole thing is way too close to home,” Robin muses, “maybe expand your dating pool to outside your immediate friend group?”

“I just need to actually hear her say it,” Steve says, but in agreement with Robin. “I just won’t be able to let it go until I actually hear it from her that she has no feelings for me.” 

“You’re a glutton for punishment,” Robin points out and he knows she’s right. “You need to figure out yourself. Do you actually love her? Or was it the idea of living her that you got so wrapped up in?” 

“What are you talking about?” 

“There’s a difference. Were you actually in love with your best friend, or were you just in love with the idea of having someone you love who knows you like a best friend? Like you’ve known her for so long, and you’ve never thought of her as more than a friend until very recently? It might make sense you were wrapped up in the idea of it all- than actually falling in love with her. Does that make sense?” She takes a long pause. “The romanticism of it all, being wrapped up in that- you know?”

“Maybe,” he concedes. “It would’ve been really great.” 

“It would’ve,” Robin agrees. “But it wasn’t meant to be.” 

“No?” 

“No.” 

When Eddie gets back to the apartment later, he doesn’t know what to expect. He doesn’t know if  Steve will take a swing at him, if he’ll yell, or if he will even be there. He doesn’t know what to anticipate Steve’s reaction to be. 

Surprised, Steve is sitting in their living room… calm. He looks solemn. He’s sitting on the same chair he sat the day of the huge fight. He’s staring at the spot where Nancy sat, and then his eyes move over to where you were. Eddie clears his throat to make himself known. Steve looks up like he’s been snapped out of a trance. 

“I’m sorry, man,” Steve says, immediately. “I really fucked that up.” 

“I don’t know- I get it,” Eddie sympathizes. “The whole situation is fucked.” 

“Yeah, totally.” 

“You okay?” 

“Yeah, I’m okay.” Steve drags his hands across his face. Eddie can tell he hardly slept. He looks exhausted. “I will get over it, I’m sure. I just need a little time to get my shit together. Get over myself, you know?” He jokes in a self-deprecating manner. Eddie offers a sympathetic smile, but it doesn’t quite meet his eyes. They both know they’ll be fine in time. 

The next morning, you’re at their apartment door first thing with coffee in hand. 

“Do-over?” You ask with a tilt of your head when Steve opens the door. 

“Do-over,” he offers a half smile, taking one of the to-go cups from your hand. 

“Eddie’s left for work already?” You guess and he nods. You stand in the door frame, face to face in a few long moments of silence.

“I really miss my best friend,” you say finally.

“Do you still even want to be friends after all of this?” Steve asks, stepping aside so you can come in.

“Steve,” you say with a deep breath. “I always want you to be in my life. You are my oldest friend and I hate that everything has blown up the way it has. I know we can’t go back to the way everything was before. We can move past this, together, can’t we?” 

“I really missed you too,” he admits. “I talked to Robin- I think she was right about a lot of things. You and Eddie- you guys are my best friends. I can’t stand in the way of you too. I think like how I was so hung up on Nancy- I was idealizing her; remembering just the good parts. I know I would’ve been so happy to end up with you. But I think I was more in love with an idea.”

“I get that. I think I’m guilty of that myself,” you chuckle, thinking back to the many years you held Steve up on a pedestal. He smiles back at you- a wide, all encompassing Steve Harrington smile. You had him back. “So, we’re going to be okay?” you ask, a smile creeping onto your lips. 

“We’re okay,” he reaffirms. 

A few months later, following the truce with Steve, everyone is piled into Steve and Eddie’s living room. A movie is playing you’ve all long since forgotten about. Nancy and Jonathan sit in the love seat, his arm around her as they watch amused as Steve and Robin argue- both of them standing on opposite ends of the coffee table as they debate the logistics of whether or not it’s pronounced “Duh-MEE” or “Dem-EE” Moore. Neither one of them plans to back down anytime soon. 

Vicky watches from her seat in the recliner like a tennis match, her eyes bouncing between her girlfriend and Steve- enough to give herself whiplash. This was not how she expected her first movie night with Robin’s friends to go- but what else would she expect besides utter chaos. 

“I thought something was gonna be catching on fire,” Eddie whispers in your ear. “This is boring,” he says in reference to the movie. 

His arms sit loosely around your waist as you sit on his lap. Your legs lay across his lap, resting your head on his shoulder as you sit together in the chair opposite Vicky. You can’t help but laugh at his commentary. 

“Yeah, I don’t think that’s gonna happen, hun,” you say with a smile, offering condolences for his disappointment in the movie. 

“You’re a moron if you think it’s Dem-EE,” Robin shouts, losing her patience with each passing second. “Everyone knows it’s Duh-MEE!”

“Robin- I swear to god! It’s Dem-EE- it would be spelled differently if it was Duh-MEE,” Steve argues. 

“It’s French!” Robin yells, exasperated, ready to pull out her hair. She couldn’t believe that he’s still pushing this issue. 

Eddie runs his hand up and down your leg as he tries to act remotely interested in the movie. He knows you like it, so he’s trying his hardest to pay attention despite the distractions- Robin & Steve’s antics sure, but more so, sitting so close to you. He can smell your shampoo and your skin is so smooth when he touches it. It’s hard to not be consumed but the sensation. He squeezes your hip, and kisses your temple. 

Eddie loves the simple touches. It’s the things he thought about for so long. It’s so easy. The things he always wanted to say to you, everything he wanted to do are just habitual now. He can grab your hand and kiss the back whenever he gets the urge. He can tell you he loves you randomly whenever he pleases. He can kiss you- kiss you everywhere. He wishes he could go back and tell himself that he got the girl- that she loves him just as much. Tell him it’s better than he ever imagined it. 

The dust has settled. The worst of it all seems to be behind you all. Steve has a date lined up for tomorrow night and it seems he’s finally been able to let the idea of you go. Maybe, you’ll always be the one that got away, but he knows he’ll find the person he was always meant to be with. He has a really good feeling about the girl he’s seeing tomorrow. 

A/N: Thank you all so much for reading! Please let me know if you liked it. I decided on doing a follow-up story (maybe 3 parts?) focusing on this Steve and an another reader insert! Hopefully that's not too confusing lol It's going to focus on Steve meeting someone new, and falling for her. It can be read as a standalone or as a follow-up to this story. I'm going to do my best to have it out as soon as I can. Let me know if you like the idea or if it's too confusing.

TAGLIST: @sunshinepeachx @downbear @fanlifeaamt @exploding-bonbon @losingmygrasponreality @skiddypiddy @andvys @djodirt @moonlightsolo @kyga01 @sheisjoeschateau @melaninjhs @v3lv3tf0x @purpleeyeswithgoldensparkles @sunshine-mrk @danymunsonharrington @mrsjellymunson @fanficfantik

[desertd]

This is the sound

This is the sound they make when they sing, or dance, or talk. This is the way they find you and come to know who you are. Have you seen their eyes before? The biggest stare imaginable. Have you seen it? Is it you? Do you sing when you think?

The world was ablaze the day he fell. Everyone heard the impact when he hit the ground -and they mourned together. A savior had been lost. I would like to write that his sacrifice changed the world, but every day without him seems lonelier than the last.

They named a national holiday in his honor. A destination for those who believed in his undying love of humanity.

Always there were talks of his stories. Always he saved the day and gave people a reason to be kind to each other.

In his name, spirituality became important again. Many wanted to hear his stories told in the name of God and were eager to give thanks that such a hero could have lived among us. At the heart of all the other madness, there was no doubt that our shared love for Superman was good and beautiful.

I was currently on the hunt for personal anecdotes of people who had met Superman. Currently I was at the library of a fairly college in the area going through their newspaper archives.

After having a librarian teach me to use the software, I had already found a list of autobiographies that contained the pattern: ‘my encounter with Superman’, and was digging in my bag for more change to pay for the prints I would need.

“Hi miss, are you doing an essay on him for school?”

“hmm?” I said, turning to look at the person who was now standing next to me and looking at my screen. He was a bit handsome, but nosy, I thought smiling.

“He was the best wasn’t he? Saved my brother from a car chase once.”

“oh wow, that’s amazing.” I said turning to look back at the screen.

“Well, if you don’t mind, what day was it?” I asked, turning to face him a little more. He smiled.

He turned around and grabbed the chair from the computer next to us.

“Yeah, of course.” He set his bag down on the floor between his feet and dragged the chair very closer to mine. Yeah, there was chemistry right away.

I turned and smiled looking at the screen to find the search bar. “What was it?” I said, ready to type.

“March 3rd 2015.” He said. I typed and hit enter and then decided to quickly move my own chair further to the right to make more space between us.

The screen flashed and the results showed two results, the first that was definitely about his brother, and the second an article that looked like a calendar of superman sightings, it was a small blurb written like a list of baseball bets, something I would definitely circle back to later.

I glanced back at the guy and he looked right at me. He smiled and I realized I knew nothing about him.

"So…I’m Alice.” I said nodding at him. He seemed to be younger than me, easily an extroverted type of person.

“Ethan, hi." He smiling and he looked back at my screen.

I clicked opened the article about his brother and we read it in silence.

[temp.png]

Ethan was laughing by the end of it. I smiled at him, he must have thought his uncle was still wild.

“Yeah, Uncle Toby never lived that down.” I laughed and changed the screen back to the results page. I was curious about the other clipping.

“That’s really cool your brother was safe.”

“yeah, he’s a really upstanding guy now, he’s in the military and everything.” Ethan looked down at his phone, possibly checking the time. He then looked up at me and smiled again and asked, “so what are you trying to find about him?”

“oh, well it’s for work actually.” I said, tapping my pen on the pad I had in front of me. The article I wanted to write was not meant to be a homage to Superman, but rather a snapshot of how he impacted people before he died.

“Oh, do you work on campus?” Ethan said.

"Not exactly..."

“You’re not?” He thought for a second. “Well, Alice, neither am I actually.” He sat back in his seat and gave me a little smile.

“You’re not?” I said hesitantly.

“No, and” he said standing up, "I actually do have to get going."

Grabbing his bag, he threw it over his shoulder and then reached out his hand. “Do you wanna come see something cool?”

As a wannabe reporter my senses were tingling. Since his story was actually about Superman, this might lead to something good.

“yeah, sure. As long as we get some food first.”

“Deal.” he said with a big grin. I packed up my stuff and pushed my chair back under the desk.

-------------------

Pin Up from The Death of Superman 30th Anniversary Special 1 (2022) by Lee Weeks

[mattsobvimyfav]

American wedding (Matthew Sturniiolo)

one shot -

The hotel room was extravagant, with sweeping windows that framed the glittering city skyline. It was the kind of place y/n's parents wouldn’t question when it showed up on their credit card bill—they’d assume it was another innocent dinner or a shopping spree. But y/n was sprawled across the king-sized bed in nothing but a black lace bra and underwear, her laughter echoing through the room.

Matt stood near the window, his old-fashioned camera in hand. He looked at her with that rare, unguarded grin that made him seem younger, softer—like a completely different version of the boy everyone thought they knew.

“Stop moving,” he teased, his tone lazy but full of affection. “You’re ruining the lighting.”

Y/n threw a pillow at him, laughing as she shifted her pose. She stretched out on the bed, her hair spilling over the edge, her arms outstretched like a queen on her throne. “You’re lucky I’m letting you take these pictures at all, Matthew,” she shot back, her eyes sparkling.

“And you’re lucky I’m an artist,” he countered, lifting the camera and snapping another photo.

The camera clicked, the flash illuminating her skin. He stepped closer, kneeling on the edge of the bed now, his knee brushing against hers as he adjusted the focus. She watched him, her heart beating faster under his gaze.

“You’re beautiful,” he murmured, almost too quietly, like the words had escaped before he could stop them.

Y/n’s cheeks flushed, and she reached out, cupping his face and pulling him toward her. His lips found hers, soft and urgent, tasting faintly of Coke and the faint bitterness of cigarettes. Her fingers tangled in his hair as his hand slid to the small of her back, pulling her closer.

He pulled back suddenly, his light eyes searching hers. “We should do it,” he said, his voice steady but filled with a kind of reckless excitement.

She blinked at him, breathless. “Do what?”

“Get married,” he said, like it was the simplest thing in the world. “First thing tomorrow. Let’s go to the courthouse and make it official.”

For a moment, the words hung between them, and then y/n’s face broke into a wide, incredulous grin. “Are you serious?”

“As a heart attack,” Matt said, his smirk tugging at the corner of his mouth. “You and me. No one else. Just like it has been.”

Without thinking, y/n shot up from the bed, bouncing on the mattress like an overexcited kid. “Yes! Yes, yes, yes!” she shouted, throwing her arms in the air.

Matt laughed, reaching up and grabbing her arm to pull her back down. She collapsed onto the bed beside him, her laughter bubbling up again as he hovered over her, his lips brushing against her cheek, her nose, her forehead—every inch of her face.

“I love you,” he murmured, his voice low and filled with more emotion than he usually let himself show.

“I love you too,” she whispered back, her hands gripping his shirt like she never wanted to let go.

And in that moment, with the city lights glowing around them and the world outside feeling miles away, it was just the two of them, completely untouchable.

"I had a hell of a summer," I say, my lips curving into that smile Matt’s always said he can’t get enough of. "So, baby, don’t take this hard, but... maybe we should get an annulment before this goes way too far."

The words hang in the air, and for a second, all I can hear is the faint hum of the Mustang’s engine. Matt’s hands are still on the steering wheel, his knuckles white against the black leather. He doesn’t look at me, not at first. He just stares straight ahead like if he ignores me long enough, maybe the words will evaporate.

Then, finally, he speaks.

"Are you kidding me?" His voice is low, tight, like he’s trying to hold it together and barely succeeding.

"Matt—"

He cuts me off with a sharp laugh, shaking his head as he puts the car in reverse and backs out of the illegal parking faster than he should. “No, don’t ‘Matt’ me right now. You seriously thought this was the best time to drop that on me?”

I bite my lip, guilt gnawing at the edges of my resolve. “I didn’t mean for it to come out like that—”

“But it did,” he snaps, shifting gears and peeling out of the back of the school. “It came out exactly like that.”

I sink into the passenger seat, watching the scenery blur past as he speeds through town. Matt doesn’t say anything else, but the tension in the car is suffocating. He’s gripping the wheel so hard it’s a wonder he doesn’t snap it in half, and his jaw is clenched tight enough to crack a tooth.

When he finally slows down, I realize where he’s heading before we even get there. The hotel. Our hotel. The place where everything started.

He pulls into the side lot, parking in the shadow of the building like we always did to avoid being seen. He kills the engine, the silence roaring in my ears as he turns to me, his light eyes flashing with anger and hurt.

“You really wanna do this here?” he asks, his voice cold and sharp, cutting through me like a knife.

I cross my arms, trying to steady myself. “I didn’t pick this place—you did.”

“Yeah, because I’m not the one throwing away everything we’ve built like it’s nothing,” he shoots back, his voice rising. “You wanna tell me what the fuck changed? Because two months ago, you couldn’t wait to be my wife. You were literally jumping on the bed screaming yes, remember that?”

“Of course, I remember!” I snap, my voice breaking. “How could I forget? But that was summer, Matt. It was... it was perfect. And now we’re back, and it’s like reality is crashing down on us. My parents don’t even know. We’re eighteen! We’re kids playing house, and it’s not real.”

“It felt real to me,” he says, his voice quieter now, but somehow that makes it worse.

“It was real,” I say, my throat tight. “It’s not about that. It’s about... it’s about what happens next. What happens when my parents find out? When college starts? When we have to figure out how to actually be married? We didn’t think this through, Matt.”

“Speak for yourself,” he mutters, running a hand through his hair. “I thought it through. I thought about it every damn day. You think I don’t know it’s not gonna be easy? You think I care?”

I don’t have an answer for that, and the silence stretches between us, heavy and unbearable.

Matt finally looks at me, his eyes searching mine. “So, what? That’s it? We’re just done? You’re done?”

I swallow hard, the lump in my throat almost choking me. “I don’t know,” I admit, my voice barely above a whisper. “I just know... this isn’t what I imagined. I’m scared, Matt.”

“Yeah, well, so am I,” he says, leaning back in his seat, his voice hollow. “But I thought we were supposed to figure it out together. Isn’t that the whole point?”

His words hang in the air, and for a moment, I can’t breathe. He’s right, of course he’s right. But that only makes this hurt worse.

Matt leans back in his seat, his head resting against the edge of the headrest, and then his gaze drops to his hand. His thumb brushes over the tattooed wedding band inked onto his skin—a decision he called impulsive but never regretted.

“Got a wedding band on I just might die with,” he mutters, his voice thick with pain, a bitter laugh escaping his lips. “Without you? I don’t even know who I am anymore.”

I stare at him, my chest tightening like there’s a weight pressing on it. I never meant for this to hurt him like this, but watching him now, I realize there’s no way it couldn’t.

“Matt...” I start, my voice trembling. “I love you. God, I love you so much. But this—what if we’re just setting ourselves up to crash and burn? What if we’re not ready?”

He doesn’t answer right away. He just sits there, staring at his hand, his jaw tightening. When he finally speaks, his voice is low, edged with something raw.

“Jesus Christ, don’t break my heart,” he says, his voice cracking on the last word. “This wedding ring? It won’t ever wipe off. But if you stay... fuck, you’ll probably leave anyway, won’t you?”

His words hit me like a slap, and I feel my eyes sting with tears I’ve been trying to hold back. I reach for him, grabbing his hand and holding it between both of mine. “Matt, that’s not fair,” I whisper, my voice shaking. “I’m not trying to hurt you. I just—I don’t know if I can be enough for you. You’re all in, and I feel like I’m barely holding on. What if I let you down?”

“You won’t,” he says instantly, his eyes finally locking on mine. “You think I don’t see how scared you are? I’m scared too. But y/n, I’d rather do this scared with you than spend one more second without you.”

Tears spill over, and I choke out a laugh, shaking my head. 'You make it so damn hard to walk away, you know that?'

'Good,' he says, a ghost of a smile tugging at his lips. 'Because I’m not letting you walk away without a fight.'

I swallow hard, the weight of his words settling heavy in my chest. 'But your parents don’t even know,' I murmur, my voice trembling. 'Your brothers don’t know. No one at school even knows we’re... we’re a thing. What are we going to do, just drop this bomb on everyone?'

He hesitates, his brow furrowing as his gaze flickers down to my hands. His jaw tightens, and the smile slips from his face. 'You’re not wearing it,' he says, his voice quieter now, almost disbelieving.

I follow his gaze, my stomach knotting when I see my bare ring finger. The space where my wedding ring should be, feels as exposed as if I were standing there without my skin.

'I... I didn’t think it was a good idea,' I stammer, my pulse quickening.

His eyes snap back up to mine, searching, questioning. 'Didn’t think it was a good idea or didn’t want people to know?'

The question hangs in the air, thick and suffocating. I feel the burn of fresh tears threatening to spill and look away, unable to face the hurt I know is there. 'It’s not that simple,' I whisper.

"'Then make it simple,' he says. 'Do you want people to know or not? Do you want this—want us—or are you already walking away without even telling me?'

His words slice through me, and for a moment, all I can do is sit there, drowning in the ache of his voice and the unspoken fear that he might be right.

'It’s not about what I want,' I finally manage, my voice barely above a whisper.

'Then what is it about?' he presses, his gaze piercing.

I hesitate, my hands twisting together nervously. 'I just... it’s complicated. You know that.'

His jaw tightens, and he runs a hand through his hair, exhaling sharply. 'What’s complicated? The fact that I don’t fit into your perfect little world?'

I flinch, the unspoken truth of his words cutting deep. 'That’s not fair,' I murmur, avoiding his eyes.

'Isn’t it?' he challenges, 'Look at you, like you’re ashamed to even be seen with me. You think I don’t notice the way you look over your shoulder, like you’re scared someone’s going to find out?'

I swallow hard, guilt twisting in my stomach. 'That’s not... I just don’t want to make things harder for either of us,' I say, but the words sound hollow even to my own ears.

He studies me for a moment, his eyes dark with something I can’t quite name. 'Do you hear yourself right now? You’re so worried about what everyone else thinks, but have you even stopped to think about what we want? What I want?'

I look down, unable to meet his gaze. My silence hangs between us like a confession.

He sighs, shaking his head. 'I get it,' he says softly, his voice laced with hurt. 'You’re the golden girl, the one who’s supposed to have it all together. And me... well, I’m just the guy everyone’s already written off.'

'That’s not true,' I say quickly, finally looking up at him. But the way his lips press into a thin line tells me he doesn’t believe me.

'Isn’t it?' he asks again, his tone quieter now, almost resigned. 'I just need to know, right here, right now—if I fight for this, for us, are you going to fight too? Or are you already looking for the nearest exit?'

His words hang in the air, heavy and raw, and I feel the tears sting my eyes again. I want to answer, to give him the reassurance he deserves, but the truth is, I don’t know if I have the strength to tear down the walls I’ve spent so long building.

a/n- for fun ig

[meglosthegreat]

I have a lot of problems with the Treviso/Minrathous choice, and could go on for days about how poorly thought-out and implemented it was, how it screams "late addition" and how it's so obviously a choice for the sake of there being a choice, the consequences of which are only there for the sake of being consequences.

But one thing I'd like to highlight is how the characters relevant to the consequences of that choice could have been so much better served if the outcomes for each of their relevant cities had been reversed.

As it stands, if you fail to save Treviso, a lot of civilians will die and the city will be overrun with the Blight. If you fail to save Minrathous, the Shadow Dragons will be destroyed and the Venatori will seize power.

Neve's storyline is all about protecting the people of Dock Town. She is heavily involved with the Shadow Dragons, but her primary investment is in her city, and her personal quest centres around deciding what kind of protector she is going to be to its people.

Lucanis, on the other hand, is primarily concerned with his family. His actual relations, of course, but also the Crows at large as a form of extended family. His personal quest is entirely focused on his brother, and how he is going to respond to Illario's betrayal.

So, we have Neve with her love of her city, and Lucanis with his love of his family. But when the dragons attack, Minrathous doesn't lose its civilians, it only loses the Shadow Dragons. And Treviso doesn't lose the Crows, it loses its civilians. Each city, in short, loses exactly the thing the OTHER character would be more upset about losing.

As it stands, each character remaining perpetually upset about your choice seems petty, but imagine how much more impactful it would've been if Lucanis had lost the Crows instead. He doesn't seem to give two shits about Treviso before the choice, and only starts caring if you don't pick it, but you already know how much the Crows mean to him, and as his entire quest is centred around his relationships within the organization, his anger towards Rook would've felt a whole lot more justified.

And imagine if Dock Town was overrun with Blight instead - you know, the place Neve cares about more than anything else. More than the Shadow Dragons, who she only seems mildly interested in at the best of times, if you do save Minrathous. Losing Dock Town would have been devastating, and really cemented Neve's decision to do whatever it takes to protect the place she cares about.

But of course, because this choice was most likely added late in development, it probably had to be done in the way that impacted the least amount possible, and I think that's a crying shame. As much as I think the choice sucks to begin with, they could have at least made it relevant to the characters' themes and stories, and they chose to do the opposite. What we're left with feels arbitrary and disappointing whichever city you go with.

[manicpixiedreamedwins]

I’ve tried to word and reword this post at least a dozen times. I’m not sure I’ll ever quite capture what Charles means to me in one attempt, but here goes:

That scene on the side of the agency where Charles is asking Edwin what would happen if death caught them was probably the moment I decided I loved him- same hat, I thought. I have racing thoughts and fears of being separated from my loved ones too. 

Same hat.

I didn’t realize what an understatement that was. 

We made it to the Devlin house episode. As Charles talked about his favorite tape being destroyed and struggled through reading the Devlin daughter’s journal, I realized his home life wasn’t as idyllic as he’d wanted us to think. He’d been walking on eggshells- I could relate to that. Sometimes I wonder if he was afraid to tell Edwin because he thought he would love him less. (Sometimes I worry in the back of my mind if I tell anyone, things I did years ago to survive would make them love me less).

My heart went out to him.

Right after that, he must have wondered if he was losing Edwin to Monty. A tiny, tiny piece of me that grew up as no-one’s-best-friend, just-the-afterthought, understood him. I wondered if it would be worse to lose a best friend, actually, than to never have one. I am okay now. But there’s a part of you that is forever worried that you did something wrong.

And next episode his fears are heightened. We see why- he’s never thought he was enough. His home life was brutal. He had friends, but they are what killed him. Nothing he ever did was “enough”, and now he’s sure he’s losing his best friend even though he did everything he could to protect him. 

There’s something about having an abusive parent that makes it hard to scrub the feeling of “never enough” off of you. It’s no one’s fault but theirs, but all I wanted to do was hold him after that. I see why Edwin tried to reach out. 

Charles has never thought he was enough, no matter how many friends or trophies he had. Of course he went into episode five thinking he was a bad person, even though he isn’t (and I’m so glad Edwin told him, with words, he was not a bad person).

Of course he ended episode six worrying he was about to lose his best friend to a boy that just tried to kill them in the woods— or a shape shifter who trapped them in a town across the sea. 

He does lose Edwin- but not to a boy. To Hell.

So Charles braves letting the night nurse look in his mind again. This moment stood out to me as a viewer- we already saw he died because he prevented a hate crime. He tells Edwin he stepped in and stopped the attack because he’s half Indian (I could go on about how much him being biracial meant to me, but I won’t here). He says he is not that different than the boy being beaten. People are right that Edwin has a strong sense of justice- but so too does Charles. Perhaps that’s why they got on so well right away.

So he rescues Edwin from Hell after persuading The Night Nurse. And as he’s rescuing Edwin from Hell, Edwin finally, finally gets to tell Charles what he wanted to say earlier. 

Sometimes people erroneously think Edwin came out to Charles here. That wasn’t quite what happened- the larger arc people often erase in this story is that Edwin Payne confessed that he loved Charles Rowland. How couldn’t you love Charles Rowland, after all of that? 

And Charles meet him as much as he could. He does love Edwin- he just needs time to figure the rest out. But they have literally forever. And honestly, they seemed like they were off to a pretty good start once they weren’t running from a giant spider made of babydoll heads. 

So, Charles, thank you for making me feel seen. Your smile is pretty convincing. I hope you have fun growing the agency with Edwin, and I hope the afterlife is kind while you figure things out together.

[luanna801]

Funnily enough, Jin Guangyao's "Even if he hadn't been murdered, A-Song still had to die" line is actually a significant part of what makes me think he didn't kill him. Because if we assume he's lying through his teeth and totally did murder his son, and he's just saying whatever lie will calm Qin Su down and put her off being suspicious of him... why even admit that much? Why not keep pushing back as hard as he can against the accusation, double down on "Of course I would never have hurt him, I never even considered such a thing, he was my son and an innocent child and I loved him, how dare you even suggest otherwise"?

It just seems like a really weird and counterintuitive move, if he's trying to falsely convince Qin Su he had nothing to do with this, to go the "I didn't do it, but if I'd done it, how could you tell me that I was wrong" route.

(More thoughts under the cut.)

It's not totally out of the realm of possibility - I know of real-life murderers who said roughly comparable things about their victims (see, for example, this infamous statement from historical murderer Richard Loeb, who looked the police dead in the eye and said "Yeah, actually, that kid is exactly the victim I'd pick if I was going to murder someone" about the kid he did in fact very much murder). But I don't really think it fits Jin Guangyao's MO - he's not an arrogant braggart seeing how much he can get away with, he's someone who's incredibly careful and doesn't just go blurting out incriminating things about himself.

I guess he could be hoping that if he convinces Qin Su it was ~totally all for the best, actually~ she'll just drop the whole line of accusation and stop feeling like she needs to dig into this any further. But again, that doesn't really seem like his strongest argument if he's just going to lie here anyway. Despite how upset and horrified she is here, he still has fifteen-odd years of her knowing him as a kind, seemingly? decent person working in his favor. I don't think that view of him would have entirely evaporated in an instant (although it's clearly severely shaken by the things she's learned).

So I think if he'd stuck to insisting he was horrified at the very thought and outraged she'd accuse him of such a thing, she might well have backed down and possibly even apologized for thinking he'd go that far. By contrast, him acknowledging that he did think Jin Rusong needed to die, even if he simultaneously claims not to have actually killed him, is just likely to make her feel like she's on the right track by suspecting him and he's probably just trying to downplay his culpability.

It's also true that it's a very emotional conversation that he does not handle well in a lot of ways, so like. He could be lying but just doing it in a really dumb way because he's panicking. But everything else he says in that part of the conversation (about being grateful to her for accepting his background, wanting to lie to her so she'd be shielded from knowing the awful truth, etc. etc.) seems to be an attempt at actual honesty, however warped and incredibly mishandled that attempt is.

And I think it makes the most sense to me that the "A-Song had to die" line is more of the same. He's genuinely trying to explain his perspective to her and get her to understand how he's constructed this in his mind, not getting that this is only going to understandably horrify her even more. And that is very much a thing you see in his confrontations with other characters, for all his ability to lie - he's just as likely to respond to accusations with at least some form of how he genuinely justifies things in his mind, even when it's something the other person is not remotely inclined to accept and ends up backfiring spectacularly (see for example also his confrontations with Nie Mingjue).

So to me, that's the reason that makes by far the most sense for why he'd say this. If he was going to lie, it would make more sense to claim total innocence and deny that such a thing had ever so much as crossed his mind. It's only if he's actually trying to be honest, in his very messed-up way, that saying he thinks this death was inevitable and maybe even for the best makes sense as a thing he'd willingly admit in that moment.