#i like writing dazai pathetic and mean and and and

[st4rd0lly]

ohh for the valentines thing maybe pm dazai (like in dark era) + virginity loss?

𝐅𝐎𝐑 𝐌𝐄 ?

cw : virginity loss , corruption kink , slight possessiveness + obsessiveness , gn reader , dom dazai , sub reader , biting , dacryphilia , he’s kind of pathetic in this , lovesick dazai ftw , not safe sex (please if you’re gonna fuck irl do it safe and do it right darlings, wrap that thang), MDNI

Dazai shouldn’t be seeing you.

He shouldn’t be seeing anyone for a matter of fact, this he knew this well. Everyone around him knew it too. The cold and brutal executive who had a penchant for toying around with people. You knew this too, in fact you knew it too well.

So why were you in this position now?

Pleasure wasn’t something Dazai actively sought after, at least not for himself. Sex was more of means to gain information, and he knew a lot of it. Outside of it being one of many tactics for the mafia, he wasn’t particularly interested in having such an intimate time. And yet he feels like his skin is on fire when he sees any inch of you, eyes focusing in on any part of skin showing. 

He tried to convince himself that this was just stupid lust, it’ll go away soon. You were just another mission partner, a fellow executive who tags along with him and Chuuya occasionally. You weren’t anything special to him, no not at all. You definitely weren’t the person he goes to when he had no one else to bother, and no, you definitely weren’t the person he gets reminded of the most. 

That would be pathetic of him. And it’s not like he enjoys being so casually touchy with you. He totally doesn’t reach to pull and hold your arm to walk around with you when he starts an argument with Chuuya, huffing and telling you to just follow his lead instead of that stupid ginger. And he definitely doesn’t like it when he rests his head on your shoulder or vice versa when you two are alone. Or when he tells his bar friends about you. No, that’s just some stupid cringey romance thing. He tells himself he’s too good for that stuff. 

So again, why were you in this position now?

His hands eagerly cup your face, his lips chasing yours each time you try to pull away for air. He wanted you to feel the way he does, how suffocating his love is for you. How each time he tried to pull away to breathe, you always pulled him right back in. But he realizes that unfortunately, he is a human who needs to breathe too, so he stopped momentarily for the both of you to catch your breaths. He wanted to dare not open his eyes but he was caught up in how they looked at him.

You didn’t look at him in pure disgust, or just pure lust. You looked at him with a hunger, a desire, an unfamiliar love that he was afraid of. But when it came to you, he was reduced to nothing but a lovesick yearner. And maybe he was ready to chase. 

‘I want you.’ were the words he wish he could’ve said out loud to you, you deserved to hear them. But like an angel, it was like you heard the prayer repeating in his mind. 

“I want you.” You whispered, your own hand reaching his cheek, the side where his eye was covered. He had to stop himself right then and there from melting and nuzzling into your touch. 

“Have me then.” He replied quietly, wanting to come off as confident but his words sounded vulnerable to you.

“You would be my first.” You chuckled a little, smiling at him. Then his head got dizzy at the fact. Did he care whether you were a virgin or not? Not really, because either way, he was determined to make you feel like it was your first time on a high. But there was that burned so deliciously in his chest knowing that he would be the first to touch you. And he was sure to be the last too. Just like he was yours, you were his. 

“First and only.” He grinned.

“We’ll see.”

And now that’s how you got into the position you were in now. 

“Aren’t you taking me so good hm?” He cooed into your ear, cock buried deep inside you with each thrust of his hips. He felt you squirm, watching your chest heave and pretty tears fall from your eyes from the pleasure. Oh there was nothing more than he adored than seeing you under him, falling apart so beautifully. And there was nothing more he loved hearing than your cute sounds, all the moans and whines and whimpers. Your adorable little pleas for him to stop being so mean.

You were just so his.

“You’re just too cute… filthy too huh? Letting me fuck you like this.” He laughed a little, as if he wasn’t drunk off of you entirely. He kissed your tears and moved his hips more harshly, letting you wrap your arms around his neck to keep him close. He was so close, he was so fucking close. He can’t even remember how many times the both of you came, he knew he should’ve been more gentle but god, you were like wine he wanted to indulge himself in every night.

He let out muffled groans into your neck, covered with love bites and marks from his relentless attacks and teases earlier. 

“D-Dazai…” You whimpered, your voice slightly hoarse from how much you were raising it earlier. It was the only thing you knew how to say at this point besides please and yes.

“G-God, fuck.. say that I’m yours.. You already know you’re mine. Please say that I’m yours..” He moaned, biting down on your neck. ‘Just a little more..’ He thought, but he didn’t even realize the words coming out like you did. But that’s all you’ve been wanting to say, you were just waiting for the right moment.

“You’re mine Dazai, fuck me like it.” You let out a small gasp before you yelped and felt him slam harder into you. You cling onto him tightly, one hand gripping his hair while the other scratched at the bandages wrapping his back. 

“C-Cumming..!” You both whined, before reaching your orgasms at the same time. His body collapsed onto you with him still inside, his cock twitching as he fills you up. You both pant, holding onto each other tightly, exhausted.

“So…” Dazai says after a couple moments of silence, wincing a little before pulling out. “First and only yeah?”

“First and only.”

dividers : @/cafekitsune

[matcrdolorosa]

ᡣ𐭩 . . . featuring: osamu dazai ﾉ warnings: nsfw, virgin dazai, gn reader, use of bella, riding. just wanted to reverse the roles for once.

+ AUTHOR'S NOTE: once again using my old writing to post something before i actually get the motivation for something new.

Sweet. He's so sweet.

Could you use that word to describe him in other situations? You don't think so. Maybe another time where his saccharine affections feel more genuine and not just his quick way to get into your pants.

He's touchy, too. Always having a hand ready to push a strand out of your hair, fluttering his eyelashes like it means something, like he's kind for doing such a simple little thing for you.

He readies his cheek whenever you say thank you, accentuating his need for a kiss and his dramatic mannerisms get in the way when you actually brush your lips against his skin.

The wide grin tugging the corners of his mouth and how his hands clutch at his chest in one dramatic swing, a sing-song voice ringing in your ears with his "Thank you, my sweet bella."

But it must be just an act of overconfidence since it crumbles the moment you actually straddle his lap. He's been asking for it for so long, why not give in?

His eyelids flutter shut when you sink down onto his cock. His fingers are digging into your flesh so hard they'll bruise, but he's concious enough (yet) not to use his nails and draw blood.

Dazai can't bring his mind to aid you when you start moving. He wishes he could use it to his advantage, guide your hips and set up the pace. He wants it so badly, but you're the one to encourage him to wrap his arms around your middle.

"Oh, fuck- Fuckfuckfuck-"

Your walls are fluttering around him. His cock twitches inside you, so eager to remain buried deep. He can barely keep his eyes open when you lift your hips and slam them down in a harsh thrust against his lap.

He's whimpering, pressing his mouth against the crook of your neck. Dazai feels pathetic for the way he sounds. His skin burns as you bring your thighs back down once again, the sounds of skin slapping against skin make his cheeks burn.

He feels hot all over, and your hands do nothing to appease that. Now you're playing nice, cradling his face between your palms, your thumbs brushing against his under eyes, picking up the first, few tears that start to shed.

Now you're the sweet one and he can't bring himself to stop you.

[yayll]

Hi!! It’s my first time requesting something so I dont know how that works.. um I was thinking of some mission like some kind of ball that dazai and y/n has to go and y/n has to seduce someone to get information out of them. You know those masquerade balls? Yeah I think that really goood!! And dazai gets sooooooooo jealous and after she got the information dazai kiss her infront of that person to show him that she’s his😭😭😭😭😭😭omg

HIII angel sorry this took me a while, but i hope you like it :') i tweaked your idea a lil and fingers crossed this is what you so graciously asked for. i tried to put my best jealous goofy ass dazai in there along with the absolute MUSH his brain turns into when he has you to himself mixed with a lil........ fucked in the headness. i love requests! this was soooo fun to write i love youuuuuu <3

~ a little something about Dazai and his uncharacteristic jealousy ~

"Osamu, come on... You're my only sweetheart, you know that."

You call out half sweetly and half out of breath as you follow him down the hallway of the lavish event you were currently attending, dressed to the nines and trying to remain undercover. You were coming to realize why people didn't date within the workplace as he walked ahead, grumbling to himself. He's trying to remain unfazed, pretending to still be upset as he shrugs with his back turned to you.

"Hmph. I dunno, I don't feel like I'm your 'sweet' anything..."

This causes you to roll your eyes affectionately and pick up the pace, placing a hand on the back of his shoulder to finally stop him in his tracks. You flash him a sincere smile, and speak softly.

"I'm really sorry you had to see that. I didn't know that asshole was going to kiss me after he let me go. I also didn't think you'd ever get jealous..."

You say that last part with a more playful tone, treading dangerous waters of your unpredictable lover's emotions. As expected, he sighs dramatically, casting you a look of disgust.

"Ugh, of course I'm not... That's honestly sooo lame and pathetic. I can entertain jealousy as much as I can entertain one of Kunikida's little speeches on morals, or whatever."

"You mean his 'ideals'?"

You chide, stifling a laugh. He glares at you, his eyes narrowing as he scans you for a moment.

He can't find a single flaw on that precious face, not a single stray hair or stain on your exquisite outfit. He should change that by the end of the night.

"... You're always so negative, correcting me and whatnot. Isn't it tiring being so irritatingly superior in every way?"

This one gets a laugh out of you, You can tell he's slowly lightening up his mood by the way you both begin walking side by side once again.

"Yeah well, if it weren't for that little kiss earlier, we'd both still be all tied up in the wine cellar of this wonderful party."

He flashes you a pout, and shrugs dismissively.

"And here I thought you of all people would like the idea of being tied up with me. Hmph, wrong partner, I suppose."

Now he was starting to pick back at you, though it was cute. Jealousy looked cute on him, it was something you didn't think he was capable of. It was a pity it had to be during a mission where your main asset was your seduction skills and his was mental instability. You hated every second of it, but you also wanted to make sure you both made it out with the secret intel alive.

You make your way into the grand ballroom, the gala is in full swing, and your eyes dart around to find a proper escape route. Just as you see an exit, a handsome and well dressed young man blocks your view, sticking his hand out.

"Hi. You're gorgeous. Care for a dance?"

You stare down at his hand and then back up at the stranger, your face flushing as you're caught off guard.

"Me? No, no I-"

Dazai immediately interjects, sloppily holding a glass of champagne that somehow manifested in his hand and pretends to be drunk. He loved his theatrics, especially when he was desperate.

He bumps harshly into the young man's shoulder, the alcohol sloshing out of the cup as he slurs, but not before he flashes you a wink to tell you to play along.

"Sooo sorry, pardon me. This indeed beautiful angel is quite busy you see... Taking care of me that is. Ooh, I'm a wreck! I'm nothing but a sad and lonely dog.. In this sad and lonely world-"

The man looks at Dazai skeptically, and huffs into a chuckle. He shoves him away, and turns his attention back to you. Your eyes dart nervously between the two, wondering what Dazai will do next.

"Shut it, clown.. Anyway, I think this further proves you should be in the company of a gentleman like me tonight rather than this wet mop-"

The sound of a champagne flute soaring through the air and connecting to the man's skull is suddenly heard, interrupting him and sending him falling to the ground along with broken glass and liquid everywhere. In one swift motion, Dazai is at your side with a premature victorious smirk, but before you can both be on your way, the man regains his posture and spins him around, punching him square in the face. Dazai's not scrawny or weak, but he isn't the most skilled fighter, relying mostly on his special ability and intelligence to get him out of things.

You gasp, instinctively grabbing Dazai by the collar of his suit and dragging him away to get lost in the crowd of concerned people. You finally make it outside and you both collapse onto the soft grass just outside the venue. It's decorated with all kinds of flowers and fragrant rose bushes, it almost looks like you're at the garden of Versailles. You look over at Dazai, his nose bleeding all over the place, but he looks completely unbothered by it. As you reach over to touch the bridge of his nose, he grabs your wrist and holds it away gently. He waves a finger at you.

"No touchy, I've got it."

He does not, in fact, got it. He looks around until he plucks a rose petal and uses it to wipe his nostrils. You frown, getting all up in his space within an instant.

"What on earth are you doing, Osamu? Let me help, you goofball. Your nose is a mess thanks to that stunt you pulled."

You tear off a bit of fabric from your outfit and dab his skin tenderly, holding his head on your lap now. You can see some blood has trailed down his neck, staining the bandages there along with the collar of his crisp white dress shirt you picked out for him this morning. Dazai perks up, his voice slightly strained but full of lightheartedness.

"How does it feel to work with the agency's most tactical and covert operative? Eh?~"

You bite back a smile, and shake your head. You murmur.

"Feels like he's asking for a death wish a little more than usual."

Your lips soon become a thin line, realizing your statement hurts a little more in the context of the situation than it usually would. He notices your mood shift as his eyes flicker from your concerned eyes down to your lips and back up again. He knows it hurts you when he's like this, reckless and acting out on the impulses of his own plans. He wants to sit up and close the gap between you, kiss you until you drop down those brave walls you're putting up for the sake of the mission. For the sake of your feelings for him. He knows he's careless with it all.

He hums, eyes trained on you as if burning the image of your heavenly self into his mind, where you always deserve to be. In the distance, a bulky sketchy looking man runs out of the venue frantically, looking around wildly and you both get the impression it's the guy from the cellar earlier who kissed you in exchange for your freedom.

Shit! You could have sworn you knocked him out cold. Dazai sits up from your lap and you two scoot more into the bush, trying to hide from him as he makes a call. You mutter under your breath, turning to Dazai as you begin to type something out on your communicator.

"Now's the perfect time to let the others know we're ready for extraction."

He's already looking at you, or gazing admiringly more like. He knows he can fuck up everything, pay any consequence, but the thing he needs to get right for the selfishness of his wretched little heart is you. He scoots a bit closer, hearing the sounds of both your shallow breaths harmonizing. He mutters, softly.

"It would also be the perfect time for you to kiss my face better. You know, for my wellness and all that. Besides, that guy wasn't very nice to us earlier and we need to get rid of any traces of him from those lips. Yuck."

You roll your eyes yet again, despite the fluttering that won't let your stomach rest.

"Who cares about that, we have a case to close first."

He smirks, voice dropping low and provocative.

"I care."

He leans in even further, practically caging you with both arms on either side of you. He can feel your breathing become more erratic, his own filled with a pathetic sense of need he always has when he's with you. Dazai's hand reaches out and grabs your chin, turning it up slightly to face him, making sure you drop this silly act once and for all. His voice comes out gentle, firm.

"I need you to physically push me away, or I swear I'm going to kiss you right now, cutie."

Your eyes widen as you let a shaky breath escape your plush lips, murmuring in return.

"I'll.. punch you in the nose again, you know..."

His hand moves from your chin to the side of your face, cupping your cheek as he takes another breath, his body aching to be as close to yours as possible. His eyes are fixed on you, tearing you apart right then and there, but not before putting you back together so nicely. In that moment, he knows you don't mean that, and he knows he can't resist anymore.

He then whispers with a finality, the anticipation torturing him like you do on a daily basis.

"I don't think I'm going to listen to that..."

You break into a faint smile as you perceive him back.

"You've still got a little blood on your-"

Without another word, Dazai closes the remaining distance between you and him, kissing you with fervor as his soft whines reverberate against your lips. You taste sweetness and then... metallic as your lips mesh together for a heavenly moment. He feels alive, this was what he needed, the soothing balm for his soul and any other wound only you could provide. He's like a vampire, a parasite leeching off of your very essence so he could be himself around you. Cowardly burrowing into the safety of your heart. You squirm just a tad, your fingers carding through his brown hair as you try to keep up. He pulls back after his nose can't push more air through and keeps his lips hovering over yours, feeling the heat from your mouth mingle with his as he sees your lips stained red with his blood. Just as he's going to comment on how disgustingly erotic it is to see you like that, he pushes away the indecent thoughts, using the bandage on his wrist to wipe your mouth instead.

"Okay, I'll be good for now. You can call for extraction.~"

It was a dumb thing to do and could be seen as him being territorial or jealous, but the reality of it was that it was the natural order of things when it came to the way he processed his affections. Someone gets in between the two of you in any way?

An uglier and more dangerous past version of himself would have called for an immediate execution, there was a reason he held the titles that he did. He did his very best to keep that mentality at bay, rebuking it every time he felt a dark urge that he felt needed to be dealt with, mostly for your sake and for the sake of the promise he made to a friend once. Though he can't lie and say that's not who he is anymore, he can always find a better way to get his point across... even if a wishful bullet to the head comes out in the form of a kiss on your precious lips. He'll try for you. He'll wear the fastidious label proudly and be Dazai, a jealous man.

[icedemi]

ᡣ𐭩 𝐁𝐈𝐑𝐓𝐇𝐃𝐀𝐘 𝐒𝐄𝐗 !

FEATURING: dazai !

SYNOPSIS: dazai almost forgot his birthday?! might as well give him a night to remember forever . . .

CONTENT WARNING(S): NSFW content , MDNI , DOM! READER , SUB! DAZAI!! overstimulation , orgasm denial , kinky sex , gender neutral reader. NOT proofread..

ᡣ𐭩

" 'samu, guess what day ittttt issss! " you cheered, eagerly awaiting his response with your hands hidden behind your back.

— " i dunno, garbage day? shit! don't tell me we forgot to take out the bin again.. " he sighed as he retrieved his phone from his coat pocket.

" ill call atsushi, im sure he wouldn't mind emptying it for us " —

" ah.. not quite.. c'mon silly, take a look at the calendar! "

he turned his head to look at the calendar and noticed the 19th marked with "BIRTHDAY" in pink pen, underlined twice with a bunch of hearts around it.

— " ah so today we celebrate the unfortunate day i was involuntarily brought into this dreadful world..." he joked, his eyes lingering on the calendar before turning his gaze to you with his beautiful brown eyes... how could he look so good talking about depressing shit?? —

" oh, stop sulking and open your gift! " you huff, shoving the wrapped present in his face with a pout.

— he chuckled as he opened his gift, a smile spreading across his face. "awh darling, you shouldn't have..."

as he opened the gift his eyes widened at what he saw inside, he picked it up to reveal a vibrator.. —

" surpriseeee! I was thinking we could pass the time before your surprise party at the agency tonight. " you giggled, hugging his waist while teasingly rubbing your knee over his bulge.

— " my mmfph– s.. surprise party huh..? god 'donna you're so bad at keeping secrets... " —

ᡣ𐭩 —————————————

you two had been at it for hours now, dazai is a complete whimpering, whiny teary-eyed mess! god how cute and pathetic he looks

he's practically shooting blanks at this point, however you don't plan on stopping one bit! infact you even brought in a blindfold and a ball-gag just for him! how sweet of you!!

ever so sweetly dragging the vibrator over his flushed pink tip, occasionally pumping his dick just to watch his gasp and beg for more, desperately thrusting into your hand for release..

... just for you to remove your hand and vibrator

— " fuck! mngh-ph.. 'd-..ah!..donna.. c-cmon don't be so mean... " —

... " y'know, naughty boys who aren't grateful, don't deserve to cum... it's a privilege, not a right.. understand me 'samu? you won't be cumming until i allow you to.. "

he desperately whined, nodding his head ever so slowly before shooting it back as you grab ahold of his cock.

— a-augh!~ nmph~ !

" yeah... you’re a dirty slut, aren’t you? but you’re my dirty slut, isn't that right 'samu..? "

... " im gonna have so much fun breaking you tonight! "

ᡣ𐭩 —————————————

AUTHORS NOTES

— yea ur getting edged !! totally not me just running out of ideas 💔

.. sigh, tysm for voting on this !! it was rlly fun to write and i hope you enjoy it 😓😓

stockholm syndrome w fyodor is coming out tomorrow or friday, just a teeny warning it contains like medical / drug kinks??? idfk he drugs you and youre supposed to like it 😭😭

also should i start writing for other fandoms like hsr?? idk about genshin since i haven't been active since fontaines release 😓. 100% inlove w lyney though.. and fremi omg he's so cute

THANK U FOR READING ILYSM

© icedemi please don't steal, re-upload or translate my work ill cry and sob my eyes out!! reblogs r appreciated and ill literally let you makeout w me /pos

[kolyubov]

Say your French goodbye

✧ pairing. pm!dazai x gn!reader

✧ word count. 1k

✧ contents. angst? petnames (sweets, darling), ooc pm!dazai.

✧ author's note. hai :3 this may be written kinda weird because i'm experimenting with my writing !! hopefully it's still enjoyable <3

Dazai wishes to enjoy this moment; you lying on top of him with his arms wrapped around your form, breathing slowly against his chest, your eyelashes resting against your soft cheeks, your lips parted just slightly— he's holding back from just grabbing your face and pampering you with kisses, aching to feel that softness against his lips.

But he can't. He can't even let himself enjoy your presence, trying to warm his whole being; his soul.

It's wrong.

He knows he shouldn't be this attached to someone.

When he lets his guard down, allowing himself to enjoy the company of another human, life takes them away from his path one way or another.

It's always been like that.

—

Your couch feels much more comfortable than his bed, naturally, and your apartment seems too colorful for his eyes in comparison to the cold steel walls of the container where he “lives”.

He wonders what you'll think if you ever find out about his questionable lifestyle.

“Osamu…”

Dazai's attention is almost immediately back to you, watching as you snuggle and rub your cheek against his chest with your eyes still closed. The way his name sounds coming from your lips has his heart skipping a beat… He’s ashamed you’ll feel how pathetically it beats for the sound of your voice alone.

“Something's wrong?” He whispered, not wanting to break the small moment of peace for you. His fingers slowly ran through your hair, twirling it a little at the ends. “Ready to go to bed, darl’?”

His uncovered eye was hard on you, carefully analyzing your body language for any indication that you felt uncomfortable.

“You're pretty silent… Is something wrong?” You ask, and Dazai doesn't answer your question, only letting his head fall back against one of your couch's pillows; his lips part for a moment, and just as he is about to speak, he closes them again.

All of this is wrong…

He knows someday you'll be ripped off his life, he can't avoid that fate that awaits him, but Dazai is more afraid of you ending up hurt because of his fault. Considering his position as an executive of the Port Mafia, many could use you in order to threaten him.

For your own good, he should let you live a quiet life.

Dazai places his hands on your waist, firmly pushing you off him to lie on his side instead, “Sweets, it's kinda late. Why don't you go to sleep, yeah?”

When he briefly glanced at your expression, you were facing him with a pout on those lips that he couldn't take his eyes away from.

“Why don't you stay? You can sleep here, on the couch, or if you're comfortable enough, maybe in my bed!” There was no hidden meaning behind those words, you really wished for him to take a rest for once, “We can even have a slumber party!”

“Ehhh… I don't have any pajamas and sleeping in a suit is…” He trails off as your hand reaches out for his arm, but he’s already pulling away and sitting on the edge of the couch, not facing you.

“I'll lend you my clothes! I have some oversized pieces that could fit you.”

Dazai rolled his eyes, amused by your attempts to make him stay. He didn’t want to keep inventing more excuses in order to avoid staying, but knowing how stubborn you were, being honest won't work either— If anything, it'll be much harder for him to leave that way.

When he was just about to get up, ready to leave and maybe disappear forever before fucking up your life, your arms wrapped around his waist from behind, trapping him with you.

“Please, stay…” You murmur against his back. The softness of your plea has him biting his lower lip anxiously as a storm builds up inside his head. He is a heartless mafia executive, so why's it so easy for you to grip his frozen heart and melt his resistance away?

Dazai's hands rest above yours, kindly trying to push them away, but your grip was strong— He wouldn't want to use too much force accidentally. The last thing he wishes to do is hurt you.

“Darling, I'm busy. You know how the mafia works. Can you take those cute hands away and let me go?” Seeing no answer from you, he gave your hands a few pats, “C'mon, or do you want Chuuya to punch my face for being late again?”

With that, he felt your grip soften, leaving him the opportunity to stand up from your couch. When he turns around to face you, a small chuckle escapes him at the sight of your defeated pout.

“Will you come tomorrow too…?”

Dazai purses his lips and looks away. Conflicted.

Both his mind and heart were arguing whether to stay and appreciate these moments with you before everything comes to an end or be selfish, spend more time with you, and put your life in danger for being in a relationship with a mafioso.

His presence is nothing but an inconvenience.

Maybe he wasn't meant to love, maybe he was never meant to care for another human being, at least in the way you cared so sweetly for him. He doesn't get along with most people after all.

“…Sure.” He replies, his voice soft as a hand reaches for your cheek, his thumb caressing your skin for a few seconds, enjoying the lasting moments.

Before he could leave, you pull him for a hug that leaves him stunned. Everything stops; his breathing, his heart, his mind— All because of your sudden display of affection. A hug was something he wasn't used to. It took him a while until his arms wrapped around your body, letting you melt against him.

No words were coming from any of you, just calm breathing and small caresses over each other's back in your dimly lit living room. The embrace lasted for a few minutes until you pulled away. Your eyes meet his, trying to see through him, wishing you could just tell him everything your heart yearns for.

“Take care, Osamu…”

Dazai gave you one last small smile, squeezing your hand in his hand before walking away, opening the door of your apartment, not glancing back, as he disappeared in the dark.

Maybe, one day, he'll figure out how to make his life less miserable; someday, he could let himself enjoy your presence without fearing the consequences of his existence.

Maybe one day he'll change.

© 2024 kolyubov — Do not copy, repost, or recommend my works on other platforms. reblogs are welcomed and appreciated!

[waterkittywriting]

the fic of aku and chuuya where the reader has bulimia was so good omg :,)

as someone who also suffers from bulimia i found it so so comforting

if possible could i please request another one with dazai, nikolai and poe <333

please remember to take care of yourself!! <3

More BSD Men with a bulimic! Reader

Warnings: Bulimia, vomit type purging, Nikolai is ignorant, Nikolai spoon feeds you, Nikolai in general, I really fucking hate Dazai so I'm a little mean in his part, reader is not underweight b/c this is based on my experiences

Characters: Dazai, Nikolai, Poe

A/N: this is my first time ever writing for poe and I do not think I nailed his character but yk it's chill.. also I don't really like this I think the only one I really did good was Chuuya in pt 1

Part one here

Nikolai

- I'm so sorry 4 this but he probably thinks ur pathetic..

- Thinks bulimia is gross IM SORRY

- He won't try and stop u till his DUMBASS is informed by Fyodor that Bulimia, especially vomit + laxative purge types are very very very dangerous!!

- A sick part of him wants to encourage you to continue so if you die he'd feel free but ofc he pushes that away and won't encourage you

Oneshot

Catching you purge

You two had just finished eating dinner on your couch when you promptly excused yourself to the bathroom. He looks up at your standing form with suspicious eyes, but doesn't say anything and lets you wander off towards the bathroom.. just until he hears choking and coughing coming from your shared restroom.

You let out a gasp of surprise as you hear the bathroom door open with a loud bang. Fuck, did you really forget to lock it? You pull the end of your toothbrush out the back of your throat and turn around to face your loving boyfriend with tears in your eyes, who had a look of pity on his face.

He groans in exasperation, "Dove.. didn't I tell you to stop doing that?" He asks, his time filled with faux sympathy as he picks the toothbrush out of your hand, placing it back in the holder. All you can do is sigh.. he just didn't get it. "Kolya, I wish it was that easy, but it's not. It's really, really not."

"Oh please, excuses excuses." He mutters, pulling you to your feet before closing the toilet lid and flushing your dinner down the drain. "C'mon, let's get you some more food." Pulling you out of the bathroom by the arm, he drags you to the kitchen and sits you down on the floor.

"Kolya.. no.. I don't need anything else. I don't want anything else." You grumble while he digs in the fridge and pantries. "Well, you just threw up all the nutrients I gave you.. so we gotta get at least a little bit more in you." He smiles, sitting down in front of you with his legs crossed. He placed a bowl of applesauce in front of you, lifting up the spoon to your mouth. "Say aahh.." he giggles, and you begrudgingly open your mouth.

Once the bowl is finished, he places it in your sink and looks down at you with a serious edge in his eyes. "Now.. bathroom is off limits for.. let's say an hour. Cmon, I'll tuck you in."

Poe

- such a sweetheart omg :(

- holds you in his lap with his arms everytime you try and scurry off to your bathroom after a meal

- unlike nikolai he WILL stop you before you even get the chance to throw up

Oneshot

Stopping you from b/p

He had just finished cooking dinner and had placed your portion in front of you, before sitting across from you and staring down at his own meal. Poe had never eaten much himself.. but tried to start eating more to be a good example when you told him about your 'mia.

You wanted to cry. You knew you were either going to shove this all down your throat in five minutes or you weren't going to eat any of it, and you knew he knew. "My love.." He starts, his voice soft. "Can you try? Just a small bite?" He mumbles, reaching across the table and piercing a piece of broccoli on your fork, holding it up to you.

You took a deep breath, and took the fork from him, placing the food in your mouth. You tried, so, so hard. You placed the dirk down while you were chewing, making sure to go slow and take your time tasting the food.

Slowly, with his help, you finished your meal in what you two would call a normal length, around fifteen minutes, but everything inside of you told you to runaway towards the bathroom, stick the back of a toothbrush down your throat and rid yourself of all these calories. "I'll be right back, Ed." Clearing your throat, you stand up and walk towards the restroom.

You heard him sigh and his hand caught your arm, causing you to turn around and face him. You let out a huff as he pulls you down onto his lap, his arms wrapping around your waist and keeping you there "I know what you're going to do." His voice was soft, and gentle, you hated & loved it at the same time. It comforted you but it also made you feel so.. small, like you can't take care of yourself.

All you could find yourself able to do was lean into his touch, muttering a thank you while you rest your head on his chest.

Dazai

I fucking hate him so much I want him dead I hope the next attempt works Dazai

- Another IGNORANT man although this time he'll probably try and act like he cares

- bro probably threatens to tie you to the bed to stop you from binging

- "You can't ruin your perfect physique by binging, 'donna." Little does he know that does NOT help

- He'll say similar things about purging though too so it's fine

- "Shouldn't purge either. You're gonna screw up that pretty little throat and then I can't use it for .. other things."

Oneshot

Catching you binge

You were on the kitchen floor, stuffing your face with the pan of brownies you had made last night. You had already downed a bottle of milk, a loaf of plain bread, dry oats shoved into your mouth by the handful, anything you could think of. You wanted, no, needed, as much as you could get.

You jump as you hear a key turn in the front door, followed by the door opening and closing before Dazai stood above you, a look of disappointment on his face, and was that.. disgust? You knew people thought bulimia was disgusting, but him? Really? Your loving boyfriend?

"Okay, bella. Let's get this cleaned up." He sighs, pulling you to your feet. You were frozen, you just stood there as tears welled in your eyes from the humiliation and guilt. You needed the throw up. You pushed past him and sprinted towards the bathroom, only to be caught by the waist halfway there.

"No, no, no." He tuts, pulling your back against his chest. "There's no need for that. Remember what I said about needing that throat to be ready? Yeah, it's not gonna be if you're vomiting." He looks at you with a sickly sweet smile and all you wanted to do was collapse on the floor and sob but his arms kept you there.

Eventually, he pulled you down onto the floor with him so you sat on his lap as he whispered sweet nothing's in your ear, while you cried wishing you could just vanish.

[oompaloompadidu]

What about Dazai having a fetish for women who have a powerful aura and who are older than him? By the way, the reader is one of these types of women

hiii! I literally LOVED writing this, thanks for the request!

It also took me a while even if it's kinda short but English is not my first language so...

HOPE YOU LIKE IT

UwU you literally read my mind, I too think he has a fetish for women like that~

𝕮𝖆𝖓'𝖙 𝖌𝖊𝖙 𝖊𝖓𝖔𝖚𝖌𝖍✮⋆˙

You work for the Ada since almost seven months. Since you joined the agency, he couldn't stop thinking about you, he watched you when he thought you didn't see him, he admired you from far away. The way you walked, as if every room you walked in was yours, your eyes, those damn eyes of your that looked so tender and yet so cruel at the same time. He would drown in those eyes. He would stare at them for hours without even realizing it. He got to go on missions with you, and the thing he most like is that you're so incredibly different from everyone else he knows. No one would react like you do. No one thinks like you do. He loves going on mission with you, he feels so small when he sees you smiling at the enemies, a smile he would never want to receive, not 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵 smile of yours. He knows that when he sees it you're most likely going to kick the shit outta them, and he loves it. He loves seeing how strong you are, how you don't care how far you go once you're 𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘭𝘭𝘺 angry. He sees a small resemblance, between the two of you, even if you never said it (after all, why should you?) he somehow knows you must be or have been in pain too. Like him. He never felt like someone, he never even though he could meet a woman who was even slightly like him. But you were. You were not desperate as he is, he's perfectly aware of that, and somehow the fact that you're not even if you're living the same situation he is only makes him more attracted to you. He saw so many things about you, and he was so convinced a woman as strong as independent as you would never, never ever like him. Why should you like him after all? What could he offer you that you didn't have already? What does he have that you could 𝘭𝘪𝘬𝘦? Nothing. He spent so many days since you joined the ada about what he could give you to get your attention, but he only came to the conclusion he could never reach your level. After all, you're the devil. You're devil for him. You're dangerous, cruel, beautiful, sweet as an angel could be. So you must be the devil. You'll be the poison he will happily drown himself in, forever.

You two just finished a mission, as always he almost didn't need to do anything. You were a genius, a monster when it came to fighting skills, so 𝘰𝘧 𝘤𝘰𝘶𝘳𝘴𝘦 he didn't have to do anything.

"I'm cold."

He blink and turns to look at you. He was definitely caught off guard when he heard you saying that you were 𝘤𝘰𝘭𝘥. Your hands were covered of blood, keeping the documents in a strong grip. Yes, he knows Kunikida and the President won't be happy about how you got the information needed, but he... He loved it. He adored it, you. He realizes he wasn't answering and blink again, shaking his head to go back to reality "ah... take my coat" he puts the light brown coat on your shoulders, watching as it almost touches the ground (it's way too long for you).

"won't you be cold, though?"

And here again. Your voice. Your eyes. You were asking if 𝘩𝘦 was going to be good, you were worried for him... With that sweet voice that he makes him flutter every time, even if he knows it's part of your weapon. "...me? No. No, I'll be fine."

"Dazai-san"

He feels his heart exploding, it may seem weird but you actually never called him by his name "yes?" He answered instantly, probably looking like a pathetic idiot waiting for you to call him

"humanity is overrated."

"...eh?" He looks at you with a dumbfounded expression, totally confused. "What does that even mean?"

"why, don't you get it?"

Again. Why. Why do you have to say such weird thins and think he'll understand. He's not a damn genius as you are. "I don't understand..."

"I see. I was just thinking, that being human is not such a thing to crave"

He blinks. 𝘖𝘩. 𝘖𝘩𝘩𝘩𝘩. 𝘕𝘰𝘸 𝘩𝘦 𝘨𝘰𝘵 𝘪𝘵. "You say so?"

"I do."

He nods "hm. Maybe I can say so too." There are a few minutes of silence, then he turns around to look into your eyes. Ah, if he could swing in those eyes. For him, they seem the universe. So deep, so beautiful, so different every time, so many stars you can admire..

"Y/n."

"yes?"

"... I...."

There are a few moments of silence, then his voice again

"even if you asked the most terrible thing.... I would do anything you wish me to."

He feels his heart dropping when you don't reply and keep a straight face. Did he go to far?... Shouldn't he have said it?...

"I see."

𝘞𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘥𝘰𝘦𝘴 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘮𝘦𝘢𝘯? Is it good? Did you accept...?

He freeze when you lean on his shoulder and press your forehead against his. Damn. He feels his heart clenching so hard it could stop to beat, but somehow it was beating stronger than it ever did. He was happy. He was, for the first time in his life, he felt something. Thanks to you. He had experience with women before you, but God knows he never loved any. He could not feel anything at all, for no one, for nothing. Now he wants you to keep making him feel things, as if he was just a child. Because he is, he feels like he child when he's with you, a feeling he never managed to get... As if you were his savior, always, forever, even if he knows he's probably just attracted to a devil. But the Devil is an angel too.

"I love you..."

"I know."

[himimosa]

when they are sick

taking care of bsd men when they are sick...

fyodor, kunikida, dazai

Fyodor Dostoevsky

He is the person who walks around sick for almost half of a year, with a lot of sniffs and sneezes. Somehow he can manage to catch a cold even in summer. You say it is because he has an awful immune system

He already has anemia that makes his body weak. And if a bad cold is added too, he becomes almost pathetic...

If you ask him, he says he is used to being sick most of the time, but that is not true. He tried to take pills a few times for his anemia but they were useless (no, i am not self-projecting here, nope)

Most of the time, he can pull to do his work even if that means carrying tissues with him everywhere.

He hates the times when he got extra bad cold, it causes delays in his work. He is not someone who will accept to see a doctor even though his fever runs high. So if you're going to accompany him, you have to use more conventional ways...

You know hot soup, warm shower, herbal teas... He will act like you are being too "histrionic" and he is doing fine, but he will appreciate it secretly...

You put a mix of mint and linden leaves into the french press, added a tiny piece of ginger, and then poured hot water. After you waited for a while you poured out the liquid through a strainer. You had chosen your fav “I like mugs because they’re very comfortable in your hand” mug for it.

You entered the room where Fyodor was laying, he was trying to read a book but he was coughing constantly. You pulled the book from his hands: "Please drink this and rest a little. I am sure your book can wait for you." you scolded him lightly. He didn't argue with you, which was a sign that he was really feeling bad.

He took the mug, and looked at the writing on it "I don't understand why this is written on a mug" You chuckled "Because either you don't have a sense of humor or you have never heard Demi Lovato before dear.."

"Is it really an inadequacy of me that I don't get the references from the pop culture that was brought to people by no one but-"

"Darling darling..." you interrupted him "You can talk for hours about fatuity of popularism later, but I am begging you, drink this tea. now..."

He was annoyed by your interruption but he complied with your request. He sniffed before taking a sip. Then his face turned into a disgusted expression.

"Did you put ginger in this tea?.."

Kunikida Doppo

This poor man will go through the 5 stages of grief in order...

Denial: "I am not sick, I just got shivers for a second! This doesn't mean anything!" "No, I don't look awful or tired, I am fine!"

Anger: "This is because of that Dazai asshole! That nasty bastard sneezed right into my face and contaminated me with his viruses!"

Bargaining: "...Okay some inconveniences might happen but it's not that bad", "I will drink this tea and get better in an instant. No, I don't need a break, I will be fine"

Depression: "... What will happen to the agency if I use two days off?" "...my program... I will be left behind on it.."

Acceptance: "..President, may I use two days off to recover?"

He knew it is natural to get sick for people... But it wasn't written in his ideals book... He must add some notes about this too...

All he wants is quickly recover and get back to his responsibilities. So he will see a doctor, he will take his medicines, will drink all the herbal tea he needs to drink...You don't have to do much indeed, he is someone who takes care of himself well. But this doesn't mean he won't appreciate it if you do some thoughtful things for him...

"I'm home" you called to him when you entered the house with your keys. You dropped the bags that you got from the grocery store to the kitchen. You could organize them later, you went right ahead to the room where Kunikida was resting. He tried to get up to greet you but you acted quicker and hugged him while he was still sitting. He froze for only one second, then slowly wrapped his arms around you

"Y/N... You shouldn't be this close to me, you will get sick too..." He murmured but didn't push you away too. You shrugged your shoulders while still hugging him "Then I will use a day off with my sick boyfriend, that doesn't seem so bad to me" Kunikida chuckled lightly "If we both use a day off at the same time, I can't imagine what sort of chaos would the agency have..." Then he slowly pulled himself back to see you eye-to-eye and started to ask you questions... How is the agency going? Were budget calculations accurate? Have you taken new cases? What kind of ruckus did Dazai cause when he wasn't around to lecture him? How many calls did you get for his suicide attempts this time?

You told him about how you took care of everything on his behalf with everyone's help (well mostly with the help of Atsushi, Kyoka, Kenji, and Tanizaki siblings... basically with minors of Ada...) But even Dazai wasn't acting so "wild". He was whining about how the agency became too quiet and no-fun without Kunikida and all the joy he got from work vanished without Kunikida...

"Everyone can't wait to get you better love they are planning to visit you tomorrow night," you told with a smile. Kunikida coughed and covered his mouth, then mumbled: "I see..." You knew he did it to hide the light blush and embarrassed smile on his face, but you didn't tease him for it. After all, he was deserving it all...

Dazai Osamu

Here comes the drama king...

First, let's be honest here... He is treating his own body like shit... We saw him in his flat, this man doesn't even cook for himself. He literally feeds with sake and canned crabs only... Despite that, he doesn't get sick easily. He has the durability of a cockroach (i swear i love him, these insults are with affection)

He is the kind of person who doesn't get sick even there is a cold season and everyone around him got ill. He catches the sickness not more once than a year, but when he gets ill, it is always the most unexpected time.

Once, while he was still in the port mafia he got a very bad cold right before an important mission. When Mori saw his situation, he had to cancel the mission.

Because this man acts like he is on the deathbed when he is sick...

"So I made some research on the internet... With all these symptoms on me; either I have some kind of chronic illness, or brain tumor.. which leads us to the conclusion that I have only 2 weeks to live..." "Or, you have a cold, you shithead.." "Do not act like you are a doctor now Chuuya, or I will throw up to your precious hat..."

He didn't change much... The only difference is now he is being your boyfriend, you have to take care of this man like you are taking care of a child. He will act like he is much worse than he is to get all your affection and care... You will need a lot of patience, to be honest...

"Ew, there is no way I would drink that crap!" You thought for a millisecond to throw the bowl of soup to his face but you didn't have the heart for it. Even though he was acting like a spoiled brat, he was miserable right now. You knew he hadn't eaten anything since yesterday morning, you had to convince him to put something in his stomach no matter what...

"Why don't you want to drink this babe?" you asked with your sweetest tone. Dazai shrugged his shoulders "It smells bad, makes me want to puke..." You tried again "What if you push yourself? Just a little? I know it doesn't look appetizing but this soup is too good for cold, you will feel better after your drink I promise..."

Dazai looked at you with defeated eyes, he couldn't resist any longer "..fine then"

With excitement, you took one spoon from the bowl and carefully held it towards his mouth, you were cupping the other hand under the spoon to keep it from spilling. Dazai slowly opened his mouth, only to make a sour face "It is too hot!"

"Sorry baby, my bad" you apologized and started to cool it down by stirring it with the spoon. You took another spoon from the bowl, this time you blew a little air before giving it to Dazai. When he started to make some teasing comments on you would be a great nanny, you decided he was already getting better. You tried to get up after he finished his soup, but Dazai held you weakly by his wrist. "You won't leave me alone on my deathbed, right?" You rolled your eyes: "You're an idiot, you know that right?" He smirked lightly "But I am your idiot, and you still love me..." You couldn't control your smile this time. You gently removed the hair on his forehead and gave him a little peck "Yeap... Only mine to love..."

well, i couldn't still get over from this week's episode and couldnt't write anything new. this was on the drafts and not proof readed, but i will still share it. fyodor stans can use it as a denial of ep 11 :')

[theanimeoftheblackbunnymask]

Yandere Fyodor and Dazai Compare and Contrast (How They'd Treat Their Darling)

Links: {Masterlist} {Yandere Fyodor Alphabet}{Yandere Dazai Alphabet} {Yandere PM!Dazai Alphabet}

Fyodor as a yandere is such an interesting concept.

Fyodor is a complex character who I believe is very hard to write and pull off.

He's deceiving in everyway of the sort, and I can see his darling having a hard time trying to figure him out. One day he can calm and quiet, and the next day he's sadistic and a bit more temperamental than yesterday.

I can see him acting like this as a way to keep you on edge. He isn't bipolar by any means, but he enjoys seeing the uncertainty on your face, the constant worry that a single slip up can through him into a frenzy, or he'll not even react and just let you deal with it on your own.

This is kinda where I compare him to Dazai. Dazai is very switchy in the same way, but he's a lot more consistent. Dazai rarely changes his behavior, but he actively changes his reactions, his actions often contradicting his personality. This is where being Dazai's darling become stressful because you'll think you know how he'll act, but in reality he'll react in a way that's completely out of character.

Fyodor and Dazai are full of mind games. Fyodor would rarely hits his darling. He finds it much more satisfying to see you stress your own self out, terrified of what he'll say or do to you, watching as you break down and pathetically try to hide yourself from his presence.

Dazai is sadistic, but not as much as he was when he was in the Port Mafia. He hates the idea of physically hurting his darling, and when he does he sinks into regret.

Now, where would they keep you?

I can actually see Fyodor bringing you along in his endeavors, and maybe even get you involved as a spy if you're powerful enough. I don't see Fyodor keeping you a secret from the ADA, and often uses you as a way to mock them, saying how they can't even save you. You're often viewing all his plans, and if a mission is a little too dangerous for his liking, he'll hide you in a place that you can't escape from.

Now, Dazai is more of an abusive boyfriend type yandere. He let's you like your normal life, go to work, hang out with friends, go to the mall, normal civilian stuff, but, he's watching you the entire time. You slip up once, and you'll deal with it at home. Dazai doesn't want to keep you in doors 24/7, but he also doesn't want you to leave him. You tell anyone about the horrors of your relationship, and you're left crying on the floor of the bathroom, the door locked as Dazai threatens you from the end. I also want to note, Dazai rarely if ever yells at you. The low and coldness in his voice is enough to throw you into tears.

So, who would be the worse to deal with full time?

Fyodor, here's why.

Dazai gives you a lot of freedom, much more than the average yandere, so you can live a mostly normal life. With Fyodor, you're stuck with him 24/7. He won't let you go anywhere by yourself, and has killed a few of your friends and family. So, if you did escape, you wouldn't last very long, and you wouldn't have anyone to support you.

The one good thing about Fyodor is that he's a pretty good balance of giving you false hope, and shutting your dreams down completely.

I do have one idea though. What would happen if you were acting as a spy for Fyodor, not for the ADA, but maybe for a powerful figure Fyodor wants something from, and you end up running into Dazai. It's one of the rare times you're alone, so I wonder how things would go.

[mncxbe]

Can i request something along the lines of "God look at you, how pathetic. I don't care that it hurts, your one job is to be my playtoy and yet you're not even good at that. I know you're just a dumb mutt but I can tell that you want to please me. Now be the good little whore I know you are and make yourself cum for me." Something like this if thats fine it can be any character you’d like from BSD if you cant do this its completely fine!!

sorry it took so long but yes sure I did my best to write it but it sweetened it a bit. I honestly felt that Fyodor would be best for this so I hope you like it♡ Also not me always having to explain why they're fucking // gentle reminder that I'm still taking requests so send them in

11 p.m

𝑭𝒚𝒐𝒅𝒐𝒓 𝒙 𝒓𝒆𝒂𝒅𝒆𝒓

𝑮𝒆𝒏𝒓𝒆: smut♡/fluff

𝑾𝒂𝒓𝒏𝒊𝒏𝒈𝒔: degradation/ overstim.

Fyodor didn't usually get jealous; and even on those rare occasions he managed to maintain his cool demeanor. He knew you possessed the type of beauty that everyone was drawn to, regardless of their gender. That's what made him feel drawn to you in the first place. He didn't fall for your charms tho, but for your keen intelligence, wits and sense of loyalty.

Every time a man would flirt with you he would watch you turn him down with a smile on your face, waving him off like he was a mere insect. In other words, your boyfriend trusted you and never doubted your devotion.

That was until he spotted you whispering in a corner with Dazai. You were at a party held by one of the town's officials; a man who wanted to join Fyodor's cause. While they were discussing business in a separate room you were left alone with the other guests. You were quite surprised to see your boyfriend's biggest enemy there, quietly sipping champagne from his tall glass.

You walked up to him and struck up a casual conversation.

"Tell me, miss. What's Fyodor's girl doing here all by herself?" he eventually questioned with a hint of amusement in his voice.

"I see you know who I am. Well, I just wanted to go out tonight, nothing more"

"So your boyfriend isn't plotting anything with the officials?"

Your lips curled into a grin as you finally understood what formidable a opponent Dazai was, why Fyodor was so worked up about him.

"Not at all" you replied meekly as Dazai leaned in to whisper in your ear.

"Then I'm sure you wouldn't mind dancing with me. Since you're all alone"

At that moment you felt Fyodor's arm snake around your waist.

"Hello, dearest. Sorry I made you wait"

He spared Dazai a quick, spiteful glance before pulling you away, guiding you towards the grand doors. The brunette only chuckled, mumbling something you couldn't hear.

When you got out of the building the car was already waiting for you and you quickly got inside; the wheels squealing on the pavement as you drove off.

"How was it? Did you strike a deal?" you asked your partner, but he didn't reply. You then tried to touch his hand and once again he brushed you off.

The ride home was awfully silent; but as soon as the door of your bedroom was closed, your boyfriend spoke in a low voice.

"I see you enjoyed yourself tonight. How did you find Dazai, quite charmind isn't he?" His voice was laced with anger and you noticed it.

"Not at all" you replied carefully "I mean, he's intelligent but I wouldn't say charming"

"Interesting. You seemed to enjoy talking to him; had those big doe eyes, always fawning over him"

"That's not it, Fyodor I~"

You were cut short by his hand, which wrapped around your neck in a swift motion. His lips crashed against yours as he pushed you until the back of your thighs hit the bed frame. You toppled backwards and fell onto the soft mattress with Fyodor on top of you.

His teeth grazed the soft skin of your neck. "I'm quite disappointed in you, doll. Didn't expect you to behave like that." His voice sent shivers down your spine, your back slightly arching under his touch "Seems like I need to teach you a lesson"

Fyodor suddenly spun you over so that your chest was facing down and lifted your hips while unbucking his belt. His calloused hands slid to your hips as he pulled up your dress, exposing your drenched lingerie.

He let out a chuckle before pushing himself into you. You whined, your legs wobble from the burning sensation.

"Fedya please wait I'm~"

"Yes you're quite wet I can see that" he said as he began moving, earning another moan from you. He set a fast pace, making your whole body shake with pleasure; you loved it when he was rough on you.

Surprisingly enough he let you cum when you felt like it. You fell onto the mattress and laid on your back, heaving.

Your partner's eyes wandered along your figure.

"Take off that dress. I'm not done with you yet" he ordered in a harsh tone.

And you obeyed, undressing yourself and before you knew it you were back underneath him, legs wide apart as he thrust into you. "Look at you, such a mess for me" he spoke again, his violet eyes locked with yours. You could only mumble a 'yes' and roll back your eyes as he pushed you through your second orgasm.

Then the third.

Now he had you on top of him; his fingers buried deep into the flesh of your hips, guiding your movements. After climaxing so many times you were starting to get dry.

"Fedya 's too much. C..Can't anymore it hurts" you mumbled under your breath.

"I don't care if it hurts, your only job is to be my playtoy and you can barely manage that. I can tell that you want to please me though so be the good little girl I know you are and make yourself cum for me."

The tears that were forming at the corners of your eyes started cascading down your cheeks when your heard his cruel words. You nevertheless picked up your pace, grinding on him. "That's it. See, wasn't so hard" He started rubbing circles on your clit, causing you to clench around him.

You reached your high soon after; your thighs squeezed his narrow waist as you leaned forward, laying on your partner's chest with your eyes closed; your tears of pleasure wet his pale skin.

When Fyodor gently pushed you off him you tensed. "Please no more I can't take more" you whined but he only brushed off your tears, caressing your cheek with his hand.

You eventually slowly opened your eyes, daring to look ag your partner. His gaze was a lot softer now, any trace of annoyance or anger having dissipated.

"Are you alright, my dearest? I'm sorry if I went too far" he inquired worriedly.

"Yes, I'm okay. Just a bit sore"

After a few minutes of silence spent calming your heartbeat you spoke again.

"Are you still mad at me for talking to Dazai?"

Fyodor huffed and lay next to you, pulling your body closer to his. "I'm not, my dearest. I just don't want to have to compete with that man for your heart."

You chuckled lightly and nestled in his embrace. Your head came to rest on his chest; arms locked tightly around his torso.

"I could never love anyone but you, Fedya"

"I sure hope so" he eventully replied, but you were already fast asleep.

Fyodor let himself drift into the reals of dreams, your steady breath lulling him to sleep.

[literatureloverx]

To frame this analysis, I want to first point out a letter written by fyodor. For a letter most don't have access to, it puts into perspective a LOT about fyodor's character that was previously only speculated through analysis. It was given out during the manga's 10 year anniversary, you can search it up by typing 'fyodor letter bsd'.

But I will copy it here: "I have nothing to say. There is no one who supported me anyway. That's why there is no word I have to say. To anyone at all. Let alone words of celebration. It is impossible. I have always been alone. And that is fine by me. Has been, and always will be. Well... I felt a little less bored when I was playing chess with Dazai-kun. But that's it."

Now this points out something especially interesting, that out of all the people that served him, all the people who worshipped him through his manipulation, for hundreds and hundreds of his years of living, Fyodor found no substance through any of it. Fyodor is lonely, inevitably lonely not only because he has never let anyone into his mind (and uh. Not many people want to hang out with the guy who straps bombs onto kids), but because near nobody can understand him because, as pretentious as it sounds, he lives in a realm of "genius".

Fyodor lives in a world of sin that he sees himself as above, and wishes to find the book and write a "correct" world under God where there is no sin. And he also lives in a world he is bored of because nobody can challenge him. He explicitly uses the word "bored" in his letter. He is never shown to "like" his servants being completely submissive for pleasure, he just does it because he cannot trust anything straying. Now does this mean Fyodor wants to control those around him? Yes. Does this show that Fyodor finds this obedience engaging? No.

The only person he has shown interest in (not in a romantic way) is Dazai, who is the only one who can level at his playing field. This makes me wonder, is Fyodor's "type" someone far from who he would actually fall for? I feel that to grow interested in someone, Fyodor needs someone who can challenge him. Someone out of his control because they understand him on a level that others cannot, because they are on his equal. Fyodor left his life of boredom through one-sided "companionship" with Dazai.

Note: I find it kinda pathetic of Fyodor to seem so eager about their meet-ups too, since Dazai seems to hate it LMAO

Now I can see Fyodor WANTING to control someone for that safety net and I definitely can't see him going out of his way to get with someone if they're in the way of what he's after, no matter how much he loves them. Bro straight up tries to kill his favorite "chess partner". But it seems that if Fyodor ever wants to pursue a GENUINE relationship, he needs to leave his comfort zone because the only ones who will give him substance will be far outside.

This wasn't meaning any hate or anything, I just wanted to point out traits about Fyodor's character that i've observed, but also to hear your thoughts :D

(Also I can see Fyodor falling for not only someone who can challenge him but someone with a great love for humanity and empathy)

Wow, this was so detailed and awesome to read! Thank you very much for writing this. ❤️

I will break down my perspective on this analysis as you asked me to, but I can say that I agree with most of your points. ❤️

First of all, I know the letter you’re talking about. It actually made me sob for a while when I first read it. I felt the loneliness almost in my own body—the situation he’s in must be so dehumanizing for him.

That being said, I considered many of Asagiri’s explanations about the characters (the letter you cited, the one about White Day, their ideal types, etc.) and formed my interpretation of Fyodor this way.

I absolutely agree with the point that Fyodor is bothered by boredom and that he needs someone who can challenge him.

The question here is, what kind of challenge?

In this case, my point was: someone who can challenge him emotionally (as this is an underdeveloped aspect of his, since he really doesn’t have much opportunity to form meaningful connections with others). Not someone who matches his own mastermind (like Dazai, for example). He values Dazai's ability to read his mind but is not particularly invested in any kind of connection besides that of rivals since he can’t trust him. There is no longing for friendship (a meaningful connection) there. Just Do, Do, Do, and win.

Now, I also believe, like you said, since his motives are not bound to himself but rather the greater good of humanity, the most important thing for him to do is indeed—to win. How is he supposed to cleanse humanity of their sins otherwise?

Where my interpretation differs from yours is that I genuinely think he is very comfortable with being the lead in any kind of situation. What he is uncomfortable with is—guess what? Vulnerability, in general. Just like Dazai. And the most challenging vulnerability to overcome, in my interpretation, would be emotional vulnerability.

In my opinion, he would be interested in someone who can challenge him mentally but not strategically. He knows that feeling. It is true that Dazai quenches his thirst for competence and competition in that sense, but is such a person truly fit for Fyodor?

My main issue with a strategically competent partner is the high possibility of Fyodor never being able to fully trust her. I’ve read many headcanons and fanfictions about him and such a partner, but it never really clicked in my mind.

The aspect of him preferring an intelligent individual over a shallow one is, I think, a very common perception of his character in the fandom, which I wholeheartedly agree with.

But: emotional intelligence is a very powerful aspect of intelligence, as well.

Him wanting to control her for security reasons is absolutely valid in my opinion and interpretation too, since it was what I meant in the first place anyway. He wouldn’t manipulate his partner just for the sake of it—he is too deep of a character for that.

Overall, I hope I haven’t missed any of the aspects you were referring to. I’ll gladly edit my post if anything is missing! ❤️

In conclusion, I LOVED your analysis. I’m very glad when someone makes me think deeper about my own thought process and interpretations. Anything of that kind is deeply welcomed and appreciated! ❤️

To read my other works => MASTERLIST

[chuunai]

hello !! idk if you’ll see this but for the 100 followers celebration, may i please request pm! chuuya + (17) wondering if they deserve you or not + (6) “just look at you, then look at me” ?? maybe it’s like he gets doubts and worries, especially when he sees reader getting interactions with others and considering his job and what it means for the reader? but… um, could it end with fluff, please? also, could it be a fanfic, pretty please? i do apologize if this is way too specific !!

once again, congratulations on 100 followers, you totally deserve it, your writing is absolute heaven !! have a nice day/night/afternoon !!

I love specific people and things no worries and thank you I adore your fanfics too!

✧˚ · . right by you - chuya nakahara

he doesn’t deserve you. not when you’re so good.

summary ⋆ ★ comfort, fluff, unrequited love (supposedly), SFW → minor (barely any) angst with happy ending.

Chuuya Nakahara didn’t deserve you.

Nor the air you breathed, or the space you shared with him at the Port Mafia. He didn’t deserve any of that.

Chuuya had always considered himself an okay person. He killed people, but it was for the sake of Yokohama’s safety—subsequently, your safety. In the eyes of others, he’s a piece of shit through and through (that, he doesn’t deny). But in your eyes, he’s just a guy trying to do what’s best for his subordinates and city. In your eyes, he’s just Chuuya.

It’s a bit odd, honestly.

Having feelings for his subordinate.

It fucked with his mind too.

The Port Mafia was no place for love. Look at Higuchi pining over Akutagawa like a lovesick high schooler—that’s clearly going nowhere. So it’s not like he’d have a chance with you, anyway. Not when you’re so good, too. So, so much better than he ever could be.

Someone like you—who regularly brought cookies to the Mafia’s HQ to ‘boost morale’—didn’t deserve a fake human like him. One who was a vessel of a god. The fake Chuuya Nakahara. No matter how much evidence said he was the real one, he couldn’t believe it. Just look at him, then at you. No, you’re the real human.

And he’s a fucked up mess that also happens to be a murderer.

Great boyfriend material.

In the middle of his self-deprecation, a knock hit his door. Probably Tachihara, that smug bastard. Not like he was doing anything, anyways. Taking one last look at the ceiling of his office, Chuuya called out.

“Yeah yeah, door’s open. Come in.”

Instead of that redhead, it was you.

Shit.

He was sure your shift was over. It was what, eight at night now? You got off right around now, so you had no reason to see him. Yet his cheeks flushed up anyway as a pointless attempt at faking a cough was done to hide the obvious reddening. Mentally cursing himself for for being so childlike with his feelings, he sat up in his chair, pretending to write on a document.

“Need something?”

He’d do it. Just ask. Wait—that’s pathetic.

“No, but the others and I are going out to drink. You wanna come?”

Chuuya perked up immediately, already imagining the taste of red wine sliding down his throat and warming up his body. He loved drinking. Helped to get his mind off his problems—namely, you. His fingers drummed on the wood of his desk, a small hum drifting from his lips as he thought of the potential consequences.

He could get drunk and act stupid in front of you. Or accidentally harass you. Or end up blabbering his head off about Dazai again. Or-

Snapping out of his daze when he saw you awkwardly standing there waiting for his response, he shrugged.

Fuck it. It’d be fine.

“Sure. Usual bar?”

You nodded, fiddling with the hem of your sleeves. You always did that when you were nervous. A small wave of worry washed over him. Did he make you nervous? Shitshitshit. What’d he do?

Standing up, he quickly organized some papers—recent missions and current objectives—into piles on his desk, palms slightly sweaty from the fact that you were watching him. Chuuya didn’t like how he always was a wreck around you. It wasn’t gonna make him good in your eyes, is what he thought. Lord, he wished he knew what would make you like—no, love—him back.

“Let’s go now then, yeah? We can get a head start on the others. Don’t want Tachihara to brag his ass off about being first again.”

He offered a small attempt at a smile, cheeks rosy and all. It was nothing compared to when you smiled, though. Like an angel. His angel. Holy fuck. He’s really gotta stop daydreaming about you when you were in the damn room with him.

Leading the way, he carefully kept to your side throughout the long hallways of the Port Mafia’s HQ, occasionally stopping to discuss a quick matter or two with one of his assistants. When someone bumped into you, he hesitantly placed a hand on your back to keep you steady and remind the other grunts that you were under his protection.

Although that still didn’t stop the dreamy stares at you.

Or the jealousy that Chuuya felt after. He knew that he wasn’t good enough for you, and he respected that. But these guys didn’t. No, they thought they somehow had a chance with you—a living, breathing angel—and that irked him. Shouldn’t they be grateful for just getting to see you? He was, anyway. He’d take all that he could get.

Including this short walk.

Lasting for only three minutes or so, soon you two were out in the chilly night air of the parking lot. You shivered a bit, cheeks and nose turning red and numb from the coldness. Chuuya couldn’t help himself as he nudged you closer to his side to be a bit more warm. Kouyou always said he was a human oven, after all. Walking to his car—nothing too fancy, yet not quite cheap—, like a true gentleman, he opened the door for you to sit in the front passenger seat next to him.

He always drove you to the bars. You always drove him back.

A fair deal, in his opinion.

Starting up the engine, Chuuya sneaked a glance at your profile. Nose tinted with red, cheeks puffy from the cold and eyes staring back at him. Wait. Huh? His face went red. Again. Now the both of you were flushed, and not from the cold.

“Want my coat? You uh, seem pretty cold.”

Please don’t say no, please don’t say no, please don’t-

“Yeah. Please.”

Chuuya shrugged off his black coat, carefully laying it on top of you like a cozy blanket. His hands brushed against your arms as he snugly placed it on you. You looked good under it.

“We’ll warm up with the alcohol later. I know you don’t like whiskey, but a shot should warm you up.”

You made a face, sticking out your tongue and giggling slightly while he started up the car, slowly backing out of his parking spot.

“That’s shit’s nasty, Chuuya-kun. Just like your wine.”

If Chuuya had one complaint about you, it’s that you didn’t like red wine.

“It’s an acquired taste, you brat. If you’d try it out more often, you’d like it.”

His heart warmed up at the sight of your smile, making sure to keep up the banter between you two as he drove to the nearby bar. His fingers twitched, aching to hold yours. To warm you up, too. He didn’t want his coat hugging you. Chuuya wanted to hug you. Was that too creepy? Hopefully not.

Traffic was a shitshow. Both of you agreed that more and more idiots were on the road lately, cursing at the car in-front of you. Thankfully, it didn’t last too long. Ten minutes later and he was pulling into the familiar parking lot of the same bar you two had been going to for a while with the others. A nice small corner bar, retro and one that didn’t mind their eccentricity.

Chuuya didn’t take back his coat from you as you wore it inside.

Ushering you into their usual corner booth, he ordered you two a small drink to start—just a vodka soda. Nothing too much. Although it got him slightly buzzed, a warm feeling calming him down a bit as he sipped. It felt nice. Just the two of you. No rowdy Tachihara. No Higuchi simping over Akutagawa or Gin staring at everyone.

Just you two.

“So uh, when are the others getting here?”

How much time did he have with you alone is what he really meant.

“Oh- let me check real quick. Sorry.”

Chuuya watched as you reached into your purse, grabbing your phone and probably texting Higuchi. A small frown came upon your lips after a minute. Nuh-uh. He’d kill whatever made you frown.

“Eh? Why’re you frowning? We’re drinking, cheer up a bit.”

You looked back at him sheepishly, scooting a bit closer to him.

“Well, apparently Akutagawa got sick so now Gin is taking care of him and Higuchi is worrying so she doesn’t want to come and Tachihara suddenly got busy out of nowhere.”

Yes! Yes yes yes! Just him and you now.

“Sucks. But the two of us are here, right?”

Chuuya was currently praying to God that you’d stay.

“Guess so. Should we order stronger drinks, then? I don’t wanna be sober.”

He now believed in God.

And so you drank. Him with his signature red wine, and you with your preferred drink of choice. Chuuya obviously got drunk first, with the redhead showing signs of intoxication while he got clingy with you. You were equally drunk, and didn’t care that much. So he clung into your arm like a baby while you braided his hair poorly.

“God, your hair is so pretty, Chuuya.”

Ooohh. You called his hair pretty.

“Is the rest of me not pretty?”

He pouted, tugging at your sleeve and resting his head on your shoulder.

“Huh? I didn’t say that. You’re really pretty. Super pretty.”

Wow. He’s super pretty now.

“Well, I think you’re pretty too.”

His face flushed, suddenly realizing what he said as he buried his face in your shoulder, squeezing your arm for reassurance. Why did he say that? Why did he say that!? Stupid alcohol. It made him talk so dumb like this. He didn’t talk like this when the others were around to keep him in check. Shit. Maybe he should’ve have drunk so much.

“You do?”

You looked down at him, fingers momentarily stopping their crafting of his braid.

“Mhm.”

A small shy mumble was all he managed to utter.

“You’re so cute! This is why I like you, y’know.”

His head snapped up immediately. No way in fucking hell were you gonna leave him on a bombshell like that.

“You like me?”

For the second time today, Chuuya was praying to God that you liked him romantically.

“Yep.”

Not helpful.

“But…like a friend? Or uh- romantically.”

Well. He said it. Fuck him. No way you’d like him back.

“Uh.”

Some silence from you.

“I’m not saying.”

Oh yes, yes you fucking were gonna say.

“C’mon, tell me. Pleaseeee?”

Puppy eyed Chuuya. He used this to get out of trouble with Kouyou. Surely, it’d work on you?

“Fine. You’re a bitch, but jesus, I like you romantically.”

Chuuya Nakahara was sure he was at Heaven now. No way you—his angel—just confessed to him. Albeit drunk. But still a confession. One of his hands slowly crept onto yours, lacing your fingers together. He was in bliss, basking in your warmth and ignoring the other rowdy patrons of the bar. You just confessed to him. You like him back.

You like him back.

When he finally got back to his senses and opened his mouth to say that he liked—no, loved—you too, his ears picked up on a small snore from you. Did you seriously fall asleep? You had done it before during previous get togethers, but now? A small smile crept onto his face. Whatever. It didn’t matter. He’d tell you tomorrow.

He’d confess back, take you on a date and prove his worth to you.

Because maybe Chuuya Nakahara could learn how to love like you.

Just maybe.

taglist: @twst-om-lover, @sinfulthoughtsposts

[judasgot-it]

Hihi!! So uh, Im not sure if your requests are open or not but, could you write a Dazai x GN!reader fic based on the song "Memories"by Conan Gray? If your requests aren't open then thats fine anyways have a nice day! :D

oh we are so ON I fucking love abusing Dazai. Also sorry about this one dude I am like going THROUGH IT but dw I'm getting better

also btw song recommendations cause I was also listening to it when writing this fic:

Bad Man - Alex G

Memories - Conan Gray

Scenario: Ex! Dazai coming back to the reader over and over again.

You didn't know how you felt.

A million feelings passed through your heart as you gazed through the glass, staring straight into the hallway.

Of course the bastard chose now to come here, at fuck off o'clock, when he could have done it at any other time.

"Y/n. Please let me in."

His voice was quiet. Defeated.

It was fake, you had to keep reminding yourself of that.

He was playing it all up. An act.

You didn't want to let yourself open the door.

It was cruel to leave him out in the rain.

You looked out the window again. The bastard was still there, staring blankly at your door. He knew how to look miserable.

Like a wet, abandoned dog.

Fucker.

"Dazai. Go home. Please."

You hoped he heard you. Resting your head against the door, you waited for him to respond.

Knocks.

He knocked three times. You could feel his knucks rap against the door, impatient.

You sighed. It was hopeless. He wouldn't give up.

"Y/n. Please."

His face was more miserable than you imagined as you swung the door open. His wet hair was pressed against his forehead, his eyebrows furrowing so deep they nearly hid his mocha eyes. The way he stared at you made you want to run away - it was intense, something more than human.

The only thing that blocked him from your home was your body. He stepped towards you. A small one, where you could see the rain dripping from his body start to leech onto your carpet.

You averted his gaze and stepped aside, letting him walk inside freely.

This would end the same as it always did.

"Close the door, I'll get you a towel."

Keeping your gaze anywhere else but him, you walked inside of your house, letting him inside. He was quiet as he got comfortable, but it grated on your ears - how he knew where to put his shoes, how he stepped right into your kitchen, sitting in the same seat he always sat in.

There was a corner seat along your kitchen bar, dedicated just for him. One that had a chair that wobbled as he sat upon it, creaking with his weight.

He was sitting in your home as if he belonged there.

It forced you to stare back at him, as he stared at the painting on your wall, his hair dripping all over your tiled floor.

His coat was hung on the coat rack, as if it belonged there.

"I'm making tea."

Maybe if you ignored him, he would go away. Like a recurring nightmare where you could never run away fast enough.

Unfortunately, his presence was a little too big to be ignored. Like his cologne, with the way it smelled as sweet as a rotting body, forcing you to feel him through all of your senses.

"Y/n, I'm sorry for what I said."

"I don't want to hear that. I meant what I said last time. It's over Dazai, we're over."

You didn't let him look into your eyes as you kept your eyes on the kettle, using it as a sort of shield. At this point you were hoping he would be stupid to come behind you, so then you could throw it at him. Then you could see him have a reason to finally use the bandages covering his skin.

The exhaustion was getting to you. The idiot was wearing you down, he knew how to make people break.

It was easy to give him the satisfaction.

"I really do love you. You mean everything to me."

A deep breath. The air filled your lungs, making you realize that you had hunched over a little too much. Picking your head up, you got the bravery to look Dazai in the face again.

He truly looked pathetic, his wet hair plastered to his cold skin.

But his eyes looked as dead as ever. You couldn't see anything past them.

These really were just words to him.

"If you cried would it mean anything to you anymore?"

Dazai blinked at you. He slowly raised his eyebrow, giving you a moment to rethink your sentence.

You kept your face calm. The wait felt like walking through hell.

"I meant what I said Y/n."

He repeated his words, ignoring what you said entirely. There was a small smile on his face, as if that would change the situation at all.

Tonight would end the same as it always had. You tried to change the ending but Dazai was imperiable to your efforts. He was wearing you down like an old kitchen knife.

"I meant what I said too, Dazai. You need to leave."

You could feel how hard he hit his own face, as if punishing himself for the rejection. The laughter that shook his wet body was nearly mechanical - a little too loud for what the room could ever call for.

Dazai truly looked strange as he shook in his chair - his chair, as no one else could claim a chair that was bound to break at a moment's notice.

"Please, Y/n. Please. Stop. Why do you do this to me?"

He leaned his back against the wall, with only two legs on the ground. Like a child, he rocked like that, back and forth.

"Please, please, please. I'm sorry. I said I'm sorry. I'm here and I'm sorry. I'll let you kick me, I-"

He hit his head against the back of the wall, making a sound you'd rather not hear again from the man.

"I'll do anything. I'll let you kick me, spit on me. I'll be your dog for as long as you want, I'll beg. I'm begging right now Y/n, just please! I need you, I'm not anything without you."

He was crying, his voice great at lying. His face was too.

But his eyes still looked dead. It was all fodder.

The light behind his eyes, if you can ever even recall there ever being one, was out. All that was staring at you were two dead marbles. They had no destination, their game having ended long ago.

"I don't know why I let you in here."

The kettle began to scream. Your body ran to shut the heat off, for a second successfully ignoring Dazai.

You found yourself watching your hands as they automatically pulled out two sets of cups, getting ready to your tea. You had to force yourself to stop as you looked back at Dazai, still in his claimed spot.

He didn't live here anymore.

"I thought you were making tea?"

You stared at him, looking back to the box of tea on your counter. It was waiting for the two of you, like it always had after your fights.

A peace offering, even after the worst of them.

"No. Dazai, I'm sorry."

It was horrible, the way your voice began to choke. You tried to swallow it at first, but it felt futile.

"I can't keep doing this, Dazai. It's over. You have to go home."

It was frustrating - how you had tears welling up in your eyes, how your face began to swell. But it was worth saying.

"We can talk it out Y/n. I know I messed up, but I promise we can be better next time. We can work it out!"

"Get out. Please, just get out."

You turned away from him, putting away his mug in the cabinet.

Your mug. You bought it, with your money.

"While you're at it, go get your things that you haven't bothered to pick up."

Doing the best you could, you kept your back turned away from him, making your own cup of tea. Just the way you liked it, without bothering to think of how he liked his.

It left half of a kettle of hot water left. You elected to ignore it still.

It took a good minute or two as you waited for Dazai to get the message. He was sitting in that chair, waiting for you to get the mug out, to pour him a drink again.

Instead, you found the view of your blank wall much more interesting.

In your mind it was between nothing and forever when he finally stood up - knowing the way around your apartment and grabbing the items he quite possibly left on purpose, and to the time he got to the door.

He didn't leave just yet. The door didn't open.

"It's still raining."

He said that, waiting for you to respond.

Your eyes had drawn the face of Steve Jobs on the wall instead, trying your best to ignore him. It was hard too, since you could feel the tears rolling down your cheeks in waves.

It took forever when he had finally cleared his throat, taking one step towards the door. You didn't respond.

It was a long moment between that step and the next.

Then the next. And the next. And another.

The door clicked open after that, closing rather loudly. The loudest Dazai's lack of a presence ever felt in your life.

ok I think I'm finally done doing sad angsty stuff with Dazai. It's just too damn easy ! (I say this when I had this in my drafts for MONTHS)

[spacexseven]

tuna. I heard u are looking for. quick hcs. well lucky for u I have been thinking about desperate!subordinate au dazai for soooo long and id like to hear ur take. what kinda stuff do u think hed do to try to impress his darling? and if he Does somehow manage to get a chance, how's he gonna deal? I really like making this little terror squirm a little. not like he doesnt deserve it.

- 🩹

time for tuna's hc writing practice session 1!!!

cw: yandere themes, murder

- dazai's desperation leads to some very strange actions from him, all of which are varying degrees of irritating

- it's almost embarrassing how pathetic of a place he puts himself in when he wants you to just acknowledge him

- he clings onto you like you're his lifeline, follows you around closer than your own shadow, and every moment he can, he begs and begs

- oh, but if you actually cave in and forgive him, regardless of whether it comes from a place of pity or exhaustion, you'd better be prepared for him to never leave your side

- he insists on taking you out to 'dates', dragging you out all over the city in hopes of seeing you actually enjoy yourself around him for once

- he showers you with gifts, anything you even spare a glance towards. at some point, he's even jealous of the things you observe closely, even if it's just so you can debate on whether it's worth your money—he's never been spared as much attention from you as the cloth in your hand

- now while all of this sound somewhat normal, if you continue to treat dazai like a chore to get over with, he might start doing some...frightening things to get your attention

- even if you were to jokingly say that you wanted, for example, the sky casino, he'll make sure it's in your hands by the end of the day—and he'll use any means to get there, even if it means slaughtering every person inside or sending it crashing to the ground

- if you hated the pm after your days of torment there, he'll wipe it out at once. this escalates to him dragging to your feet the literal corpse of anyone who dared scorn you; even if you just grumbled about how annoying the person that cut you in line was, he'd take it as a sign to rip them apart and bring the remains to you like some twisted offering

- and all he wants in return is a 'good job', or a smile—anything to let him know that you spared a thought for him

[inamagicalhallucination]

i had the best bsd famous no powers au headcanons because i got the mental image of dazai saying he “hates” chuuya and none of his friends should listen to him because chuuya sucks and atsushi sadly putting the chuuya poster he wanted to buy back

and also “wait so dazai can sleep with chuuya but i cant listen to his music??? wtf ???”

most of them would be in the entertainment btw but a few exceptions here and there

okay first of all a lot of the ways every one met every one would be different for the sake of like creative liberty sfakdj like dazai and atsushi would have met earlier ; i would probably not put akutagawa in the music industry so his relationship with dazai would be different - but i havent actually worked any of that out yet so ignore this

anyway

first of all - a key plot point would be that chuuya and dazai had a falling out - and i mean an actual falling out like they cant stand anyone bringing the other up

which really sucks for the ada becuz like chuuya’s music >>>>>>>>>>>

anyway here are what i think some of the characters would be like

chuuya: 

- he rose to fame as a teenager - he’s wildly known for his good music and his smexy face 

- a good portion of younger artists like his music and look up to him

- he likes writing his own music but sometimes feels conscious about more dark/personal songs

- had a falling out with dazai at some point becuz of this he does not like ppl listening to the music that comes from dazai’s friends but he does secretly like a lot of their songs

- has secret social media accounts to stalk dazai

- has cried becuz he convinced himself at some point about dazai ‘being with’ almost everyone at the agency (at different time periods) and was not right even once

- every single one of his friends knows that half of his music is obviously about dazai but no one knows how to bring it up

- every one’s favorite thirst trap

- you know how a product will appear for a .000000000000000001 sec w/ a bts member and immediately get sold out ?? yeah thats how it is for him

- he’s very strict about crediting ppl - like someone will say like two words to him that’ll inspire him and he’ll credit them as co-writer

//

dazai:

- im not sure if i want him to be a singer or not but he’s definitely involved in other aspects such as writing producing etc

- HATES chuuya 

- so much that he’s constantly thinking about him like the pathetic wet cat that he is

- he has forbidden everyone in the agency from listening to chuuya’s music

- there may or may not be a secret underground community within the ada that listens to chuuya’s music and fangirls over him and it may or may not include everyone but dazai

- when someones mad at dazai they blast chuuya’s music

- *listening to chuuya’s music, secretly* wait is this fucking song about me ? ... nah

- atsushi once wrote a song about dazai and how glad that he was that he had a brother figure like dazai and dazai cried for 24 hours straight 

- atsushi is no longer allowed to casually write about him 

- he acts really playful and aloof but he streams all of his friends music religiously and is secretly their biggest fan

- has tried to convince everyone he knows that sings to sing his suicide song - no one has agreed yet

- he has trouble finding inspiration but when he does he latches on - sometimes he’ll disappear for days and then come back with the most perfect songs 

- really only openly nice and supportive to atsushi tbh 

//

atsushi

- i want him to be with dazai earlier becuz i think it would let their dynamic really settle and atsushi trauma-response personality won’t be as prominent if that makes sense

- atsushi’s favorite musician is everyone :D no im kidding thats what he says but its actually chuuya 

- yeah he’s the younger brother of dazai (not sure if their kinda like brothers or just adopted brothers or what yet) and he’s in love with chuuya it runs in the family

- he’s in a band

- it’s called snow beneath the moonlight - it’s him, naomi, and junichiro

- maybe they’ll add lucy and/or kyouka but idk

- atsushi’s the main singer - juni’s on drums - naomi’s on guitar - but they switch around for the funsies

- im gonna create a separate section for them actually and keep the focus on atsushi for now

- atsushi’s solo music is....

- the first album he released came after weeks and weeks of people spotting him going to the studio in bright fun clothes - and he posted a lot of fun things

- so everyone thought it’d be a fun, motivational bop album

- it was so fucking sad like holy shit what the fuck atsushi go to fucking therapy

- really good tho :>

- like if you could u would inject his voice into ur veins 

- ya know lyn lapid’s song detached 

- yeah

- if atsushi sang that itd be about akutagawa btw im not saying anything but i am

- a lot of his clothes are styled by rashomon - a fashion brand owned by the akutagawa siblings - half because of however celeb - brand partnerships work - half because he somehow became ryuu’s muse 

- i want him to live with dazai - which is one of the reasons why they need to meet earlier because i had the mental image of atsushi talking about moving out and “yeah so i moved out of my brother’s place and ya know it’s strange. good at times but strange. Like i can do so many things i was never allowed to - like i can get wasted, try acid, invite someone for the night, buy chuuya nakahara posters, put up my chuuya nakahara posters, listen to chuuya nakahara’s music, own chuuya nakahara’s albums”

- since i think dazai would probably let atsushi drink as long as he’s not insane about it , throw kunikida in there too

- has a lot of songs about ryuu but he’ll never tell him

- ryuu listening to any love song by atsushi “wait is this fucking song about me??? ...nah”

- he may or may not be fucking ryuunosuke akutagawa i cannot deny or confirm anything

//

akutagawa:

- he owns a fashion brand with his sister solely becuz i showed him to my friend a few months ago and i said “sorry he dresses like a sad vampire victorian orphan thing” and she said “that is the sexiest man i have ever seen” or something like that its been a hot second

- may or may not be in love with atsushi you cant prove it - well okay sure he has collection after collection inspired by atsushi but-

- okay so maybe he listens to atsushi’s music when he’s coming up with designs but-

- okay so maybe he has all of atsushi’s albums hidden where atsushi cant find them but-

- okay so maybe atsushi’s been at his place enough for akutagawa to think ‘oh no what if he finds all the albums’ but-

- anyway

- he had a lot of goth, punk, etc, vibes and stuck to a dark, muted color range

- and then one day dropped a gold-violet colored bright not-at-all-like-his-previous-stuff collection and pretended it was normal

//

snow beneath the moonlight - band

members: atsushi, junichiro, naomi

- it was started in highschool by juni going to atsushi and being like ‘wanna start a band’ and atsushi, who was sleeping a little cardboard box in the spot where the sun was, was like “hmmm? um sure zzzzzzzzz” if that makes sense 

- naomi found out about it and joined before atsushi and juni could ask her

- so typically it’s atsushi on vocals, naomi on guitar, juni on drums, but they can be pretty versatile like atsushi’s usually got a guitar on him sorry i cant think of the words rn and juni can play the piano and naomi can do all of that

- naomi and juni sing too if they want - theyre not strict about roles 

- they wrote their music together in highschool 

- they still do - but now when their stuck they dont cry they ask others for help :)

- very sweet and fun vibes

- they literally just do whatever they want - if there is a style or genre they want to try they probably will

- naomi has to do a lot of the talking becuz juni gets uncomfy and atsushi’s attention span causes him to leave ppl mid conversations becuz he saw a cool leaf

okay

//

quick notes:

- not sure if oda and his orphans will be alive but itd be weird to kill them off in this au for me but idk

- oda’s a writer

- poe is also a writer 

- idk where to stick ranpo in becuz it hard for me to imagine him being anything but the world’s best detective

- i kind of want yosano to be in the industry but i also want her to be a doctor

- the ada is just fukuzawa’s adopted children that do whatever they want career wise becuz of him - nepotism babies btu theyre all orphans 

- kyouka’s a singer and so is kenji

- katai’s a producer

- kunikida’s someones manager but who knows whose he only ever babysits dazai and the rest of hte agency

- so as you can see im still working out the kinks of this au

- if you have suggestions or comments lemme know

- this would be equal parts skk and sskk and whatever the fuck everyone else’s got going on

- kouyou would also be a singer - im thinking classical

- q is that child artist that you love but cant help but wonder fi theyre being exploited

- lucy is trained in america and started off there but has recently moved to japan idk how thatll work for her

- sigma is a big atsushi fan btw

- the ada is so chaotic and disorganized and half the ppl there arent even in the industry but it’s just a cover for fukuzawa’s children so it still works

anyway i might continue this and update as i go

feel free to ask more about this au or give ideas or whatever <33

[pupgawa]

I saw your other post about this and i just loooove your writing so much!!! If its okay for you, may i request dazai, atsushi and fyodor getting pegged for the first time aswell? Take care, stay hydrated. Thank you💛💛

Something new 🍯

( Pt. 2 )

A/N: THANK YOU NONNIE !! I'm so glad my orders satisfy your cravings <33 subby men are my life so your order is my command ?

pairings: dazai, atsushi, Fyodor x reader

cw/tags: sub!dazai, sub!atsushi, sub!Fyodor, Dom!reader, pegging, gender is not specified, Afab gentiles ( pussy, clit, tits etc. ), Praise, degradation, choking, mating press , power bottom! Fyodor

Dazai was actually the one who suggested it, thinking it would be nice to let you have control for once, oh you've been waiting for this ! You were just much to scared to bring it up.

You withdrew your fingers from out the brunette's slick and lubed up hole, he lets out a groan in pleasure as he leans his head back into the bed.

You chuckle softly, watching him writhe in pleasure underneath you, whining a little, his hole clenching around nothing.

“ belladonnaaaa .. come on you can't just tease me like this ” he complains. You entangled your fingers into his hair and tugged it twords you, hearing him moan.

“ shut up, whore, I'll go as slow or as fast as I want to, you're on bottom here ” you whisper into his ear, watching him shudder.

You let go of his hair and bring his legs around your waist, rubbing the toy against his hole, before pushing it in.

Pegging dazai is rough, mean and full of degration, spitting out mean words to him and watching him go crazy.

It means finally letting go and letting out all your sexual frustrations out on him, because that's what dazai wants, he wants his pretty baby not to be stressed anymore.

You let out a soft moan as the harness slightly bumps against your clit, which makes you pick up your pase.

Dazai notices this and rocks his hips back into you more, giving you the friction you want.

Pegging dazai means to wrap your hand around his throat and squeeze, squeezing your fingers around the side of his neck semi-firmly and choking him.

Hearing dazai let out a choked out moan in response.

It also means roughly slapping him across the face when he accidentally mouths off to you.

Don't worry, Dazai gave you full consent to it all.

Atsushi was quite embarrassed when you brought up pegging at first, but hey, he's down to try anything at least once, how is he supposed to know he doesn't like it if he doesn't try it, he thinks of it as trying a new food he hasn't tried before.

“ are you sure , Atsushi ? ” you asked, Atsushi nods his head flashing you a reassuring smile.

“ I mean yeah ! You always enjoy this position, so I wanted to see what was up, unless you don't want to ? Because that's fine- ” you cut him off with a gentle kiss to his lips.

“ no no, I'll do it, just wanted to make sure you were alright with it, don't want to hurt you ”

“ trust me, I'm a lot more flexible then you are ”

Both of you laugh together, you grip onto his thighs and push his legs up to his shoulders, pinning them to his chest, then mounting him, putting him into a mating press.

Spitting onto your hand and rubbing up and down the toy, making sure it was wet enough to cause as less discomfort as possible.

Then you slid it, listening to atsushi mewling underneath you.

Pegging atsushi is slow and passionate at first, slowly rocking into him, watching his cock twitch pathetically between your bodies.

It means praising him and telling him that he's a good boy and that he's doing well

He'll whine for more, begging for you to praise him more

Call him your pretty boy and he'll go nuts.

Expect him to be loud once you really get into it, as you rock your hips faster into him, the sound of your thighs meeting the back of his is music to his ears and yours.

Pegging atsushi is listening to him moan, cry and hiccup out of pleasure and watching him crumble underneath you.

You're the only one who gets to see him this vulnerable

Only you are ♡

There's no hiding anything from Fyodor, the thought of pegging enters your mind ? Fyodor is already aware, he can see the way you look at him as you daydream about it, it's cute, Fyodor will amuse you just this once.

Fyodor shoves you down onto your back, crawling on top of you.

He allows you to think you're in control but with Fyodor, you never really are.

“ what, did you think I was actually going to let you have control here ? Maybe you don't know me as well as you think .. ~ ” He coos, caressing your cheek, you give a small smirk “ I didn't say I didn't like it ” you respond.

“ good mouse ” he teases, taking the lube from the bedside table and spreading it around his fingers, bringing them up to his own hole.

Pegging Fyodor means you have to watch him finger himself open for you, thrusting two fingers inside of himself and making a scissor motion with his fingers.

This is the loudest you've ever heard Fyodor

Fyodor is a very selfish man generally, but when it comes to you, not so much, he likes to give pleasure as well.

For example the strap on he's picked has a small bump which hits your clit nicely, making sure you were unaware of that fact, his face twists into a smug expression watching your eyes widen in surpise, watching you attempt to thrust upwards .

It's cute that you think you have control though, darling ♡ he holds you down and moves his hips at his own pace.

Pegging Fyodor means you're a lot louder than he is, your moans drowns out the sounds of his silent grunts as he drives his hips down onto the toy.

His hands are large enough to hold both your wrists in one of them, his free hand going down to squeeze your breasts a little and play with your nipples.

Pegging Fyodor means hearing a long, luxurious moan as he cums all over his stomach.

Pegging Fyodor Dostoevsky is a pleasurable experience for the both of you ♡