#i like using that tag cause of the color but also so you KNOW
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Kaiser-goal analysis Part 3: Magnus
This is the final part of my analysis that started out with me trying to make sense of the Kaiser’s goal celebrations, and why they differ from other strikers’. I highly recommend you to read part 1 and part 2 before reading this. Or, at least checking out part 1, if you don’t have that much time
[Tagging u again @pixie05love and @fyeahkainess]
The leadup:
I had left it off with how Kaiser is utterly irrational now, emotions clouding his judgement. This has never occurred to this extreme before, even though he’s been fixating on Isagi for a while now. What I find interesting is that Ness actually comments on Kaiser’s strange and irrational play, and how it doesn’t benefit him. I think this is the first time that Ness has dared to propose an idea or tried to take control in any way.
Kaiser does not give a shit about Ness’ suggestions however: because of his miskick, his offer from real is on the line too. He is feeling it more than ever, the threat of having nothing to his name, of becoming inhuman again. So then he throws it all away, and accepts that he is a “piece of shit”. Discovers his one true ego, his one true desire: to be loved.
(I’m sorry, I’m aware this was me re-narrating the story and what everyone already knows, but it’s very important to be on the same page for the continuation)
Another small thing that I just can’t fit anywhere else: now that Kaiser is playing with cool rationality again, it’s Ness who makes emotional, and desperate plays. But Kaiser now sees that unless the conditions are met for his weapon, it is not worth risking another failure.
Symbolism for love: the moon, the ball, the goal
There is a strong visual connection between Kaiser’s confession to the moon about how he wishes to be loved, and the ball, which will help him accomplish this desire. Look at the placement of the moon and the ball: they are in the same place in their respective panels, and they are (almost) of the same size as well.
And in the panel above, it looks like the ball in motion doesn’t have any details. It resembles the moon. The thing that Kaiser reaches up to, as if it could help him accomplish his desire to be loved. It looks like the “moon” is the ball, but it is not stationary anymore, it’s moving towards the goal, helping Kaiser accomplish his wish.
The act of scoring a goal is aiming for love and receiving it. For now, it’s the only way Kaiser thinks he can be loved, as it is said out loud later in ch 279.
Celebration
There is an astronomical difference here: directly contrasting the first goal celebration, instead of Kaiser leaning down into the shadows, he is engulfed by light. This light comes from upwards, and ONLY illuminates Kaiser, the background is black otherwise -> darkness ~ night, light ~ moonlight.
He is reaching up for the moon again. Just like in his childhood, he’s reaching up for love.
And he has acquired it for now with this goal. He closes his fist here, he has gotten a grab of the moon, of the love, all thanks to this goal. He looks much more uncomposed in this pose than he ever has so far. It’s cathartic, full of satisfaction and self-fulfillment as he’d acquired his one true wish in that moment.
He’s also not looking for the other players’ reaction. Causing pain and taking pleasure in it doesn’t matter anymore, it’s not the root of his ego. He does not celebrate with sadism any longer, instead he is totally focused on himself, head tipped towards the ground, standing in a pose that is simultaneously solitary and beautiful.
And he doesn’t even face us, the readers either. Nomura and Kaneshiro are indicating that the celebration is solely for Kaiser to have: no one else can get close to observe his celebration, his expressions, and his emotions.
Vines and Ego
Another thing that solidifies how he has found his true ego are the vines. Prior to this, they had been colored white (or green or whatever) … the point is that they are now darker. They look solid, unbreakable. Before - just like his glass chain on the cover for volume 19 – the white vines appear snappable, like you could cut right through them if you tried hard enough: visually indicating his fragile ego. Now they look thornier than ever, stronger, more resistant. Like no one could break his desire to aim for love, his newfound ego.
But what I find interesting is that the black vines do not appear when he’s first changing his playstyle and throwing himself into restriction. They are still white, which clearly indicate that this new mentality is not the right one either: him perceiving himself as a piece of shit who can only live in restriction, is just as a fragile of a mentality is as the one he’d had before (his desire live on as a scar inside others). Even when he prepares to shoot the ball the vines stay white.
They only turn black AS he kicks the ball and as he remembers what he longs for the most = love. After the flashback we can literally see the vines turn gradually darker and stronger.
After his goal, he revels in “attaining a bit of love”, so the vines stay black for a while.
However, in ch 279, as Kaiser gets the foundation of his existence wrong again (“I can only live by hurting others”) the vines are white as he’s aiming to shoot. They are only dark when the ball is not in his control anymore: when it’s on its own way to the goal = on its way to fulfill Kaiser’s wish for love.
And in ch 283 they are white again… and I’ll be honest, it’s quite difficult to figure out what it could mean. Maybe that after ch 279 Kaiser is pushing himself into the wrong mentality again…? This masochistic view of himself, about how he’s a piece of shit who can never be loved and can only hurt others… how he always SHOULD yearn for love when trying to score a goal, but he can never gain love outside of football.
(At least this is how I personally interpret the inconsistent coloring of the vines…)
Also, a sidenote: as I’ve tried to analyze how the moon symbolizes stuff and how it holds so much importance regarding Kaiser’s story… plus how he wants to gain love through scoring but doesn’t view himself as someone deserving of it outside the pitch… yk what this reminded me of? MICK MOON’S STORY
Yeah…
If you follow me, you will never escape the “Kaiser might end up like Mick Moon” theory.
Interactions with Ness
So, Ness did not assist for the Magnus goal, however he is still happy for Kaiser (“at some point his dreams became mine” + kaiser’s manipulative love-bombing after the goals). So he approaches him, even though Kaiser is keeping his back to him again, instead of being affectionate.
So when Kaiser turns to him over his shoulder we can get a brief look at his eyes: and to me, they look full of pity and sadness…
After that though, he directly turns to Ness to acknowledge him but ultimately breaks things off. And this is important: Ness has a clear view of his face, of his eyes, emotions, all of that. But we readers do not. We can’t see his expressions because it doesn’t matter what Kaiser is feeling while speaking and cutting Ness off. It doesn’t matter whether his face is emotionless, sad, pitying, full of regret…
Because it doesn’t fucking matter FOR NESS. Only the outcome, the words, the results of Kaiser’s words does: that Ness is not needed anymore.
Which implies that this scene's protagonist is NOT Kaiser. It’s Ness. So, it’s fair to assume that he’s going to get a lot of development eventually, because of how this scene’s been constructed specifically around him.
And later on, we’re still seeing Ness chasing after the affection that Kaiser usually gives him as a reward, really just confirming my theory about Kaiser love-bombing him intentionally. Ness has been treated this way FOR YEARS, his only connection is Kaiser, his dreams literally depend on him… of course he isn’t just going to give up all that. Of course he still tries to stick to Kaiser, as he does not know how to play football otherwise (and how to exist otherwise…)
(I’ve always found it a bit strange that some ppl were just expecting Ness to immediately side with Isagi, get revenge on Kaiser, or to just get over him during this match… Ness had been manipulated to stay by Kaiser’s side for a looooong while, there is no way he can realistically find himself again that quickly)
Interactions with Isagi
Directly contrasting his break-up with Ness, we see Kaiser’s face more clearly than ever: it is not covered by his hair, as he’s intentionally pushing it out of the way to FULLY face Isagi, and his eyes are totally open here instead of his usual half-lidded look (I’m referring to the panel to the right).
And this scene not only contrasts with how he interacts with Ness, but it’s also a 180 when we consider his past interactions with Isagi. In my first part, I’ve mentioned how he has either kept his back to him (only turning to belittle), or how after the bicycle kick goal, he looks at Isagi from afar, not bothering to talk to him. He looks at him from underneath his fringe, as he’s trying to cover his frustrations and expressions with his hair.
But now he acknowledges, respects and understands Isagi’s strengths. After all, it is the thing that has catapulted his evolution to score the Magnus.
This respect shows in the way that he doesn’t actually touch Isagi during this new confrontation. They are finally standing eye to eye, challenging each other without trying to belittle through physical contact.
And on a larger scheme, this indicates how he’s able to face a challenge head on now: with respect for his opponents, and the will to aim higher than he is now.
. . .
Whew okay, i'm finally done.
First of all, I'm very sorry that I'm posting this so much later than I had promised. Truth is, I was kind of afraid to start writing this, bc there are already a lot of great posts analyzing this goal specifically...
But if you've read down this far, i truly love you in the least parasocial way possible. Honestly.
#uhhh yeah...#the more i keep re-reading this the more unsatisfied i am w it...#but yeah it’s whatever#what’s done is done#i’m done ranting now sorry xd#kaiser goal analysis#blue lock#bllk#michael kaiser#alexis ness#isagi yoichi#kainess#kaisagi#(again i’m not necessarily trying to indicate romance w these tags)
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Hello~ um, hope you don't mind the bombardment of sudden notifications from me, but after reading more on your linguistic analysis posts for Love Sea (THANK YOU btw; they're really really adding to my enjoyment of the show and I didn't think I could love the show even more but here we are), it got me thinking of a question I have regarding LITA and Prapai's way of calling Sky.
Mostly I'm wondering if you had any insight about Prapai testing out different ways of addressing Sky at the end of episode 9. The subs say Prapai tests out "Sky krub" and then "nong Sky krub", but it sounds to me like Prapai is saying "khap" the at first and "khrap" the later which sounds distinct to me. Is there a difference? The way the music swells seems to indicate some other meaning, so I'm curious.
I'm also wondering at the implication of Sky asking Prapai to call him "just Sky" in episode 10? I just thought it was interesting since Prapai in ep 9 says "isn't that too curt" about calling Sky just by his name. Also wondering why this request from Sky makes Prapai go feral nearly kiss Sky?
Hope its okay to ask you like this! If its not please feel free to ignore me; I hope you've having a great day! ^w^;;
Ohhhh I hope you realize the monster you've unleashed cause this might get long 😂 Hi though first of all!! Loved reading all your tags in my notifications hehe
My usual disclaimer applies: I'm not a native Thai speaker, just a passionate learner 🙏
First things first: I'll be using screenshots from the Viki version, simply because I highly recommend re-watching the show with those subs for all who have a base level understanding of there being different levels of speech, pronouns, particles etc. in Thai. Back when LITA got re-released on Viki with weekly episodes all over again, my Thai was still in its baby shoes lol but since I was actively following the main cast at the time, I therefore followed a handful of fan translators on twitter too! One of them, midknightmoodz, still translates for BossNoeul's fandoms to this day, has been involved in several Thai BL sub teams on Viki, and got to be the translation editor for LITA's re-release on Viki. Her subs therefore give a little more insight where possible and, as a fan herself, come from a place of wanting interfans to gain a better understanding of some of the intricacies of the language used. Long story short- if the subs look unfamiliar, it's because they're the Viki ones!
If my pre-explanation already got this lengthy then... 🤡
Color-coded for ease of understanding: Prapai, Sky, Plerng, Rain, particles
Pai testing out ways to call Sky
I'll try to faithfully transcribe the way he pronounces the particles but only for this scene here because it establishes a lot of things about how Pai thinks and acts:
สกาย สกาย = Sky... Sky. ห้วนไปไหมวะ สกายคับ¹ น้องสกายค้าบ² /huaan bpai mai wa? Sky khap. Nong Sky khaap/ = Is it too curt? Sky¹. Nong Sky². มันขาดอะไรไปอย่าง น้องสกายครับ³ /man khaat a rai bpai yaang. Nong Sky khrap/ = It's missing something. Nong Sky³.
¹สกายคับ /Sky khap/ This is a pretty standard informal pronunciation of the polite particle ครับ /khrap/. Without it, he feels like he sounds too brusque, the addition of it makes him sound more polite, formal, sweet and honestly pretty flirty!
When they first meet, Pai defaults to informal พี่/น้อง /phi, nong/, since Pai is older and Sky clearly younger, and he uses typically masculine polite particle ครับ /khrap/ A Lot already. We know he's a huge flirt and sleeps around a lot so none of this is surprising to me lol
In the scene after the freshie orientation thing, the contrast to how Pai and Rain talk to each other really puts Pai's use of ครับ /khrap/ with Sky into perspective lol He does not use it with Rain, of course. If my boy wasn't such a walnut, Rain would've clocked right away that Pai is intent on pursuing Sky! Because using ครับ /khrap/ so much when addressing him, makes Pai sound flirty-sweet.
Back to the differences you correctly heard between the ways to pronounce this particle though!
²น้องสกายค้าบ /Nong Sky khaap/ The emphasis on elongating the vowel, the sweet tone of voice, the more endearing น้อง /nong/ + name? This man is laying it on thick lol In ep.10 especially, you'll hear him speak this sweetly and อ้อน /aon/-ing Sky a lot!
In the following scene at Sky's dorm, Pai actually already starts calling Sky น้องสกาย /nong Sky/:
แล้วชัดพอไหมครับ น้องสกาย /laaeo chat paaw mai khrap, nong Sky?/ ชัดพอครับ ว่าพี่ตั้งใจจะมาจีบน้องสกาย หือ /chat paaw khrap? waa phi dtang jai ja maa jeep nong Sky? heu?/ = Is it clear enough? That I intend to be pursuing you? Hm?
Crystal clear 🫠
At the beginning of ep.9, we see Pai getting feedback from his younger siblings re: just "name" vs. Nong "name" and the effect he intends it to have:
- เพลิง = Plerng. - ครับ /khrap?/ = Yes? - น้องเพลิง เรียกนี้เขินไหม /nong Plerng. riiak nee, kheern mai?/ = Nong Plerng. Does calling you that make you feel shy/fluster you? - ถ้าเป็นพี่พายก็ไม่อะ /thaa bpen phi Pai gor mai a/ = If it's you, then nah.
Many of Pai's moves are intended to make Sky shy or get his heart racing. He keeps saying so too, for example here in ep.10 after 'claiming ownership' via the wind symbol:
นี่พี่ทำขนาดนี้แล้วเนี่ย ไม่เขินบ้างเลยหรอครับ /nee phi tham kha-naat nee laaeo niia, mai kheern baang loei raaw khrap?/
³น้องสกายครับ /nong Sky khrap/ This last one is pronounced really properly and clearly, you can hear the rolled ร /r/ in there. It's giving well-mannered or gentleman, basically. This guy is really bringing his A-game, trying to prove to Sky that he's serious about him! And can you believe this utter simp? Playing dress-up, practicing in front of the mirror, testing it out again on his little brother- only to what? Go ambush his crush at his dorm to take him out for a meal during which he talks a mile a minute 😂
Sky asking to be called "just Sky"
Again giving you the entire exchange first, as faithfully as everything's being said:
- พี่พายเลิกเรียกผมว่า น้องสกาย ได้ไหม /phi Pai leerk riiak pom waa "nong Sky" dai mai?/ = Could you stop calling me "Nong Sky"? - แล้วให้เรียกว่าอะไรอะ /laaeo hai riiak waa a rai a?/ = Then what would you have me call you? - สกายก็ได้ กาย⁴เฉย ๆ ก็ได้ /Sky gor dai. gaai/Ky⁴ choei choei gor dai/ = Sky is fine. Just 'Ky⁴ is fine too. ขอแค่ไม่มีคำว่าน้องอะ ฟังแล้วตอแหล⁵ /khaaw khaae mai mee kham waa nong a. fang laaeo dtaaw-laae⁵/ = Just please not the word "nong". Sounds like bullshit.⁵ - สกาย สกายค้าบ² /Sky. Sky khaap²/ = Sky. Sky.²
⁴กาย /gaai/ or /Ky/ Sky's name is สกาย /sa-gaai/ in Thai but among his friends, they mostly all just call him กาย /Ky/ or ไอ้กาย /ai'Ky/. That's clearly too casual for our resident sweet-talker though lol
⁵ตอแหล /dtaaw-laae/ This is a bit of a rude colloquial expression akin to 'bullshit', meaning- being deceitful, pretentious, lying, insincere, duplicitous, fake etc.
It actually comes up once before in this episode when Pai swears he only had 3 hookups after he met Sky lol:
พี่สาบานเลยว่าพี่ไม่ตอแหล /phi saa-baan loei waa phi mai dtaaw-laae/
Pai doesn't always call Sky น้องสกาย /nong Sky/ before Sky asks him not to, though. And the moments he doesn't, honestly go to show that Pai's aware of how that's mostly an act to get Sky to fall for him or at least get him flustered. It does sound fake!
When Pai accidentally triggers Sky by saying "Love makes me blind" in ep.9, he pulls him back out by calling him just สกาย /Sky/:
Same again after being on the phone with Rain and rushing to Sky's dorm:
สกายอยู่ไหน /Sky yuu nai?/
And again while looking after Sky:
สกายจะคิดนะ ว่าพี่ต้องการแค่เซ็กซ์ /Sky ja khit na waa phi dtaawng gaan khaae sex/
His other fallback is the pronoun เรา /rao/, and not just with Sky. Bit of a tangent but- before the freshie orientation thing where he hands Rain that useless coffee receipt lol Pai and Rain talk a bit differently to each other.
Between these two instances, Rain becomes more chill and casual, going from constant ครับ /khrap/'s to only using it when strictly required (whenever you'd ไหว้ /wai/ 🙏 basically lol so hello/bye/thanks/etc.), and Pai goes from calling him เรา /rao/ to just เรน /Rain/. The pronoun เรา /rao/ as a 2nd pers. pronoun is used by people more senior/older to refer to someone younger, it can both be endearing as well as come across as treating someone like a little kid, depending on context.
And this little pronoun is exactly what Pai sometimes switches to, here in ep.9 with Rain for example:
พี่สัญญาว่าจะไม่ทำอะไรเพื่อนเรา /phi san-yaa waa ja mai tham a rai pheuuan rao/
And in ep.10 with Sky as well:
เมื่อคืนเราไข้สูงที่พี่เกือบพาไปโรงบาลอีกรอบแล้วนะ /meuua kheuun, rao khai suung thee phi geuuap phaa bpai rohng baan eek raawp laaeo na/ ใช่ครับ พี่อยากพาเรามาเดท /chai khrap, phi yaak phaa rao maa date/
As you can see, it mostly comes up when he gets serious. Being the eldest sibling, I guess he can never quite turn off that caretaker mode (or maybe it's his factory setting?).
Circling all the way back 🥴
²สกายค้าบ /Sky khaap/ Here he goes again: full-force puppy eyes, sweet voice, long vowel on the particle, leaning in as if to kiss him- he's trying to tease and fluster Sky again. And this time? Ohoho, the evidence is unmistakable!
I wouldn't necessarily say this request drove Pai wild lol it's more how this scene so nicely mirrors the first meal they shared in ep.9 where Pai shared all the most important info about himself against Sky's will 😂 Whereas here Sky is the one asking questions, engaging, showing interest- he's finally opening up to Pai :>
สกายของพี่ /Sky khaawng phi/
Hope my rambles made at least some sense but I'll gladly answer any follow-up questions~ Thanks for giving me an excuse to re-watch some LITA and thanks for reading ✨
#inquiring minds.txt#local woman harps on about linguistics#love in the air the series#lita#prapaisky#fortpeat
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Minecraft's death animation makes me laugh EVERY time and I think Lex would do something like this
event inspired by @willowfell doing this in our server
#my art#minecraft#minecraft eve and lex#comic#i kept looking at this and laughing idk why the death animation tickles me so#transgender#i like using that tag cause of the color but also so you KNOW#also what makes the death scene so funny is how ur body explodes with all ur loot its so funny every time
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my attempt at a bunch of my fav artists styles :] idea by sootnuki!!
i would love to do more but this was already a huge challenge
if any artist here dislikes this/is uncomfortable with it/any reason i can take it down or turn off reblogs etc. otherwise i hope its ok 🫡 im not gonna tag anyone just gonna let it do its thing in the wild lol
#crunchchute art#my art#sam and max#sam & max#i hope it will be viewable as i dont know how much tumblr will crunch it#in any case i have it up on twitter also and it seems to be in good quality there#it looks like a 'the 7 human souls:' meme hfhdhf#hey i can put more thoughts in the tags right? so first i didnt really put enough effort into my own one and i kinda realized my style#is kinda mid ngl. cause im lazy + this coloring style might not really fit them. anyway.#for sootnukis style i adore the rendering of the clothing folds and stuff but i couldnt get it just right it remains a mystery to me#silcrow i tried to do a traditional drawing but kinda messed up some of the coloring especially on the pants#also couldnt figure out if its just markers or markers + pencils or what. so i kinda did my own take of 90% markers 10% pencils#mtsodie i love the color palettes and the shapes so that was a lot of fun to try; i like the outcome#narnour i absolutely love the tiny little eyes and how goofy and round they look so that was fun to try to replicate too#as well as the colors which i mostly color picked cause i couldnt get a red overlay right#zembo was a nice way to revisit a chalky brush that i havent used in ages not sure if i got it right though#applettoast i feel like theres some gorillaz influence or its at least something i used while coloring. as you might know i used to draw#gorillaz a lot and tried to replicate the coloring etc. and i think it fit here. correct me if im wrong lol#snuckeys was also hella fun cause i love the cartooniness and the details like the teeth showing gums and stuff. hope i did it justice#also the eyes! i love the big highlight and that the eyes are brown its cute#it was nice to branch out for a bit
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hong kong miku,,,
#hopping on the trend jumpscare i’m from hong kong surprise#i haven’t seen that many hk mikus around#lowkey chat i think i kinda ate with this one#however i will say i am coloring in the dark so if any colors look off that’s why#and also i haven’t opened this program in literal months i jumped straight into this no warmup no nothing#miku is what pulls me out of art block apparently i was locked in for 5 hours STRAIGHT#someone needs to teach me how to paint properly holy#not sure how i feel about the bottom left one but that was a quick one anyways#i am from hk originally but i haven’t been back in years so i have no idea about the culture other than food and mirror#OKAY let me explain the context#street food is a big thing in hk and quick and easy things like fish balls egg waffles and like siu mai and wonton noodles are popular#back then people really would just squat down on the side of the road or right in front of the shop to eat it and go#but i don’t think anyone does that anymore city life and all that#ohh i should have done instant noodles breakfasts god i loved those#if anyones from hk if you go to the causeway bay mtr station exit that leads up to the big road near sogo. do they still sell siu mai there#that shit was BANGER i remember asking for them all the time#a good majority of parents in hk would get their daughters ears pierced as a baby something about them not feeling as much pain idk#that’s just what i was told#i used the neon for her friendly standard greeting cause i wanted to incorporate the neon signs somehow without actually drawing a whole bg#lots of neon signs in hk. i heard they had to take them down cause of light pollution which is sad but understandable#everyone got their shoes from dr kong. at least when i was younger they did#boy band is self explanatory. i heard they’re really popular my mom listens to them#oh i had her messing with her shoes cause hk people move FAST. you stop for one second and you get shoved#so like a fun little allusion#gave her black roots just for fun. she is violating every school uniform code possible#this is all based off of my memory by the way so like. anyone who knows this better than i do hit me up#hatsune miku#miku from my culture#jellos scribbles#i haven’t tag yapped in so long welcome back my love i missed you
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venn diagram of these guys
#oh this is not the point but im realizing i accidentally picked pictures where theyre all facing one wat except dio. FUCK!!!#jjba#professor layton#dmc#mgs#<- im sorry for putting tags on btw its mostly for the filtering purposes#muffin mumbles#anyway im not saying theyre all the exact same because they're absolutely not. Ohhh they are NOT the same#but their similarities and differences are so fun to compare and contrast u know#like. do you get it. descole is like dio and dio is like liquid and liquid is liks vergil and vergil is like descole#but also they havs common threads between all of them i think#Off topic but it does bother me that they all have really light hair except for descole. however i couldnt change any of their hair colors#that would be fucked up and evil. can you imaging brunette vergil. blonde descole. Exactly#anyway sorry for getting pictures i actually like of the first three and then just cropping snavid out of the shit twins image#for the last one LOL#maybe i will make a venn diagram of these guys one day. we will see...#i mesn i Would do it. ive tried. but the hardest part to me is formatting the fucking circles bro#i use a site to generate it and it looks like shit. i do it by hand and it looks like shit. i edit it from a template... u get the idea#but like i need you to listen to me i am speaking directly into your ear. i need you to think about v & desmond sycamore. pls do this for me#ok thats it i think im outta stuff to say rn amen 🙏🙏🙏#edit literally 20 hours later: my stupid ass trying to put a 172x172 image next to the three other 500x500 ones and not realizing#its ok though i just fixed it#ifyou want the old version (?) its in the reblogs twice; i rbed it just now saying id fix it + someone else rbed it#which is why i clicked on it cause i saw it in my notifs#thank u to themrmoki you did me a solid <3
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Right in time for bad weather to roll in!
There's a game on the Vita that I adored because you created both your character and also a second character that followed you around. (in that game, you're a little fella and your secondary is basically your babysitter who can't feel emotions and is programmed to be not be fond of you)
On many consoles, there's another game where you create your character and also create a secondary and it's very much your first in authority. (Arisen and Pawns? Multiple people knew of the game when I posted fanart of my silly duo so.)
However, there's tragically a third game I found in which you also have two characters and the first one is a fella, a hooman... and the second is AI. And absolutely adores you. Buuuut I made my primary a kind of indifferent fella named Adam and then in honors of the first one I mentioned, I named my secondary 'sqlmn' which is basically pronounced 'salmon'. Which is what my angy babysitter was named, Salmon.
Anyway I'm too embarrassed to admit which game I'm playing so have fun guessing!
#adam and sqlmn#thats gonna be their tag cause i do not want to admit what game it is#but also since they are both made in character creator its not actually characters anyone would recognize#in the vita game i mentioned though i also had a little girl as my primary (as in short girl not age)#and she had what i described as burnt marshmallow hair#which is what i attempted with adam here but the colors arent us popping as the other game so it looks more silvery blue than white#and then the burnt parts are either obnoxious orange or very mild#and i opted for the mild#anyway i like giving my ai bot who adores me a suit cause hes taller than adam#and i just thought it was funny to have him look like he should be in charge#because his dialogue is just him calling you Master#which im like does he know i would kill for him cause i would i love this weird tall freak who loves me unconditionally#and tbh i wanna grab them and use them for my own purposes and not have them attached to the game i created em in
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Knight Bobo, wearing some of the patterns I drew :D!
#LN#colored doodles#bobo#ft.#agata#louie#(sorry. long tags warning ¯\ (ToT) /¯)#putting the blue patterns to use even if she wasn't the intended wearer for them (hey! big bro louie just has to learn how to share! lol.)#i am actually planning to draw all three of them more along with fafnir and some other nobodies. i cri—#speaking of fafnir!!! FAFNIR???!!! offering alcoholic drinks to nidhogg in the 9th anniversary hell event????!!!#fafnir who's helping agata bobo and louie against tyr?!! who has bobo on speed dial for info as she thwarts tyr's plans??? the guy who‚ on#the night louie leaves and visits him for a drink‚ offers him instead a hot cup of MILK and teasingly calls him a child?! ASADJFJDSK!!!#(there's layers to him offering that that makes it funny‚ i promise. he offers concoctions based on a person's personality? i think??? he#offered debbie a cup of milk that TASTES like books and mela something strong. losing it ✋😭) anyways he runs an INTEL TAVERN. is aware of#most things in the north. fuck. wait! omg??? what if he's the same tavern keeper from louie's dreamweaver??? regardless he is aiding#all three of them... somehow... and he's sharing a drink with nid which is funny cause nid is the same guy who has said before ''alcohol#destroys you mind and stops you from making the right choice 🗿'' and there's fafnir sliding a drink to a sad looking nid. asdjsfkgk#FAFNIR please 😭😭😭!!! (fafnir sliding a drink to nid: make some bad choice tonight boy.)#anyways im just happy there's new fafnir art. i was not expecting it. or him alongside nid. fafnir's name is ALSO named after a dragon in#norse mythology. 🤔 turning into a dragon is a symbol of greed. damn. imagine fafnir is ALSO from frigidfog? but then again...#OKAY I'LL STOP!!! (I WILL NOT!!! I AM LOSING MY MIND! THERE'S JUST SO MUCH I CAN PLAY AROUND WITH HERE!)#wait! okay okay okay. what if for some reason fafnir is ratatoskr 👁 👁? like the role he plays as an intelligence collector adds up#as louie said ''(fafnir) you're not even there yet you already know about it'' it's not far fetched#... i am officially losing it. im adding too much depth to a game that has time and time again made itself shallow 😔
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being 21 is one of the most humbling ages ever like it’s always SOMETHING! literally always fucking SOMETHING!!! 🤩🤭
#this tag is legit just me complaining so ignore it lol#but my shitty brother having a shitty gf and always disrespecting my boundaries about her always being over at our apartment#her not liking me or his friends that are also my friends is the biggest red flag if I’ve ever seen one#and her causing drama with my parents and them putting me in the middle between them and my sibling#not to mention they’ve all been so mean to me lately!#also my dad’s side of the fam has been showing their true colors with me suddenly being an 'adult' but yet still too naive to know anything#and my friends using me for ranting and nothing else! 🤩#and the guy I liked not even having the decency to tell me he’s not into me and just leaving me on seen#like what is up with people just being mean and rude???#my heart is literally breaking and being tap danced on and no one seems to care#I’m being a huge baby about it but i have feelings too#literally need to curl up into a ball with a heated blanket and cozy pjs and a bradley there to snuggle me and put all his weight on me#but alas! i’ll have to settle for a shitty throw blanket and my pjs ripping apart at the seams#god I just love it here!!! (obvious sarcasm if you can’t tell from the nature of this post)
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Ok I'm making an official post for Estrials. (or well official until I make a better one)
Everything below cut so I don't make anyone scroll past the novel length (/hj) post I'm about to make when they're just trying to browse their dash :]
Alright so Estrials! They're a species I made up (though they are definitely inspired by some other things like atla cause of the elemental abilities) and they can be anthro, feral, or even like catboy esque(?) (for the lack of a better term) (an example of what I mean would be my sona)
Heres some examples of existing Estrials (in order: my sona (he/it/pup) (small child edition), evil xisuma (little creature and non little creature forms), jimmy (again little creature and non little creature forms), and bigb (little creature and non little creature forms) gotta love bigb and his little sweater) (also ex is part voidwalker too which is why he looks so different from the others, so like yeah you go combine Estrials and another species that would be epic)
Here we have some of my ocs and a few of the others listed above! Ryder is also part voidwalker and technically doesn't have a little creature form, but I did include a little bust shot doodle of him
If you're still here, now I'm going to tell you how to make your own! (please do I beg I want more little creatures in the world)
Ok so, they are an open species, though there are a few rules (both like actual rules and trait rules so you stay in line with the species)
-First rule: don't be a dick. I will revoke your Estrial rights if you're not a decent person (no like actually I can't take your character but I can make a list of no good icky people so other Estrial fans know not to interact with you)
-2nd rule: have fun! No really I'm not going to be an evil overlord about people making Estrials. Just enjoy yourselves and be kind to others
-3: more of me just saying this than a rule but you can totally have more than one Estrial! Make like 50 of you want I really don't care
Now rules for like traits and stuff
-1: your Estrial has to have some sort of wings (preferably feathered ones but you can do bug or bat wings if you want) (mechanical wings are also cool! Especially if they're meant to be like a prosthetic or something that would be sick) and some sort of horns (literally any horns idc go wild) you can have any number of these traits too
-2: only one elemental ability per Estrial please (or none at all, you can make an element-less Estrial if you want) there's only one Estrial that has more than one elemental ability and he's not even really an Estrial (it's my sona, it's complicated and lore related don't ask unless you want a novel length reply full of lore)
-3: they have to be either based off of some sort of canine or some sort of feline, though you can totally add features from other things (ex: lizards or fish or deer idk) as long as the base creature that has most of the features showing (so like the main body and head I guess?) is a canine/feline you're good (so like the tail, legs, and even ears can be some other creature if you want) (River, shown above, has a fish tail and some fins kinda like vaporeon. So really, go wild)
-4: any patterns and colors are ok, so yeah make that sparkle dog looking thing !! Go wild, be free my friends. Make the shadow the hedgehog Estrial (no actually you totally could)
Ok no more rules! Info time 😈😈
-Estrials can be any size that's bigger than like a small dog (so like chihuahua ish or bigger) and smaller than a horse (yippee big creature)
-The anthro and catboy(?) Estrials can be any human height btw (anthros can be a little smaller than humans too as a treat)
-They can have any length of fur (so yeah you could make a hairless one, I'd actually be real interested to see that someone do it before I do) and be from any region (hence the different fur lengths. Some of them live in real cold places and have to be real fluffy to keep warmth in, and some live in warmer places and have a lot less fur to cool off easier)
-All Estrials can hide their wings (like magic poof they're gone completely and then poof they're back now) and the catboy(?) ones can sometimes hide all their Estrial features (so like their nose, horns, ears, wings, and tails)
-I'm leaving a whole lot up to interpretation so like go wild I guess. Just don't do anything too weird.. I don't want strange things associated with my species..
Ok now the big thing: elemental abilities
So we have 5 elements + no element (though I'm kinda thinking of adding a 6th.... maybe..). Every Estrial falls under one (and only one) of these categories, though their power levels can vary (so like some fire Estrials can only do tiny poofs of flames and others can have like whole fire tornados going on)
Fire, water, air, earth, and plant
They all overlap with others a little too
-Fire Estrials can bend/control/whatever you want to call it magma, lava, fire, and lightning. They can also heat things up, which does mean they can heat other elements enough to somewhat control those (so like heating metal until it's molten and being able to shape it, or heating water enough that it turns into steam. Though steam is a lot harder for fire Estrials to control) though they lose that ability once the element cools off again
-Water Estrials can bend things like water, ice, some gasses (if the gas has a liquid state at a reasonable temperature. So like not things that require to have subzero temps to be liquids like oxygen), and any other liquids (not including molten things if you count those as liquid).
-Air Estrials can control all gasses (unless they need to be superheated to be a gas) and air. They can also definitely move things with air, so like sandstorms and using lots of wind to lift and move big objects. They can even control the weather a bit because of this (though water Estrials also kinda can. They can make it rain at least) by blowing storms around (including hurricanes and tornados, though they can also cause them too)
-Earth Estrials can control anything that's made of some sort of metal or mineral. So like glass (even if it's not molten, they can still change its shape, though they can also control molten glass) any rock, and all kinds of dirt (including compost in case you were wondering. So like if its considered dirt they can control it)
-Plant Estrials can control all plants. And can move things using plants. And can grow plants. Idk what you want from me the name is kinda self explanatory.. they can also grow plants in their fur (or hair if you have a catboy(?) Estrial) (again I don't really know what else to call them..) this does include stuff like coral, mold, and fungus btw so go wild with your biohazard mold guy (omg Ethan Winters ??? Somebody call crumb immediately) (that is a joke do not call crumb cuptoast just because I referenced Ethan Winters..) (though crumb if you somehow see this hiiii you can make an Ethan Winters Estrial, that would be so sick actually)
That's about it for now! If you have any questions feel free to ask away by commenting, dming me, asking them in the reblogs, sending an actual ask, hell you could even dm me on another platform like twt or something idc. Also, if you make one Please.. please show it to me.. I will be so incredibly happy if I saw your Estrial.. as a treat, for me.. please.. (also do credit me for the species if you post about them. You could just tag me or do like a @/jalo-parker just as long as my user is there you're good)
Ok, bye bye now have a good day :DDDD
#estrial species#they get their own tag#use it when talking about them please i want to know what you guys are saying#original species#open species#make your own#like actually#please do make one#i could even make you one#just drop a color palette#what animals you want (so like type of bird for the wings and a horn shape)#what element#and maybe a pinterest board#or even a pre existing character that i could estrial-ify#like dm me or send an ask ill do it#(if i dont get too many people asking for them that is..)#(also it will probably just be a colored sketch)#ooo and accessories if you want any for your character#cause yes estrials can wear clothes if they want#original character#species info
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Unspecified issue that im going to blame on my pika hospital rating time in a non linear order 4/10
I had to go to the ER twice since they didn't believe me the first time
Despite being afab between 4 women nurses and 1 male nurse the guy was the only one who came back like 4 times to my room to make sure I got an ultrasound and the
women kept trying to brush me off and say it was just period cramps [i am not on my period fuck you], etc thank hell for that guy. He also drove my hospital bed [since I could not fucking move more than like 2 feet] like a damn racecar and took some really smooth corners and that was very fun. Actually the way he handled it makes me think the [3/4] girls that treated me had like an ongoing rumor about shitty care or something
Another girl failed at putting in my IV twice and brought over "the IV guy" who was about to go on lunch break and they literally had to ultrasound my veins to find a good spot i sincerly apologized like 5 times for "having the shittiest veins in the west"
I had to lie multiple times and say my pain was a 9 in order to get pain meds. Yes I did want to cry but that's like a 7.5 I was not dying and whoever decided a 10 was crying obviously never has had chronic ankle and knee pain [or any chronic pain but y'know. Those are my chronics]. Despite sending me home for period cramps the first time in the ER I said my pain was at a 7.5 and they didn't give me Jack shit [they had to bump up the pain medication they gave me to be stronger so I don't think it woulda worked anyway, just maybe delay how long it took for me to beg to be taken back to the ER]
I was supposed to see the Garfield movie and had to have minor surgery like 3 hours before so womp womp [I am able to refund the tickets and am determined to see it in theaters]
I GOT ICE CUBES?? THEY GIVE YOU ICE CUBES?? brings it up from a 4/10 to a 6/10 honestly bitches love ice cubes
My assigned nurse read fanfiction and I told her about that one 400 chapter batim fanfic and she reaffirmed the name of it like 3 times shes definitely into that shit Good luck gal. I also said "i read this Hermitcraft fanfic-" and she immediately went "HERMITCRAFT??? Oh we are not on the same sides of ao3" and I'm still very unsure of what I implied or what she implied by that so I just transitioned into telling her about my sonic death fanfic from 2019
In the waiting room the second time I went they were playing a horror movie that used a theremin [that one famous no hand instrument] and the movie played the same 4 note creepy audio clip like 7 times in 30 seconds with no dialogue in between each time. What was. What was that excuse me?? Also it was like 11 pm at this point
So yippee me irrational [?] fear of my useless organ I forgot the name of exploding being the thing to have a risk of permanently fucking me over was Not the thing to bring me to the hospital. Here's doodles from my hospital visit taken in approximately shitty lighting that I mind my damn best to save with filters
Also you made it this far read the alt tags
#it was not in fact caused by pika but i do have pika so fuck you you do not need to know why i was in the hospital#the trip both fully solidified why i fucking hate hospitals and why hospitals are usually the best option#like i think i would have had pernament damage/bled out/had an ambulance called if i didnt insist on going back to the ER within an hour#and my nana insisted on going with me to be a karen since shes had cancer like 3 times so i actually got treated this that time yippee#fuck you to the two girls that saw me the first time i went to the er [where i had to wait 2 fucking hours] and thought i was just absolute#-ly fucking insane and bonkers or some shit. they used medical terms to call me a liar to my face. second time i went the wait was only lik#15-30 minutes at the most?? even if i had to stay overnight thats fuckin better than 3 hours#i also took the uh anti anxiety shit they offer before a surgery so i do not remember anything unfortunately or else i would have rated tha#the post surgery girl did listen to me when i said crackers were too salty and got me jello in my preferred color though!!#talk talks#also the read more is weird because ✨ clickbait in the middle of a run on sentence ✨#also i turned reblogs off so my friends that reblog my items. please just leave me an ask in my inbox i do not want my hospital experience#going all over tumblr i want it to stay on My Account#forgot to mention i specifically mean the like 3 people that reblog with a matching rant in the tags. ill know its about this post dw
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Skz reacting to you kissing them in front of the other members
Warnings: um some kissing ig? Nothing else really
Tags: established relationships, kissing, so much fluff, seungmin being a little menace like always, I think that’s it
A/n: have this while you wait for my long hyunjin one shot! Also I just started writing skz and don’t fully know how to write their personalities yet so pls be kind🙏
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Chan:
I kinda feel like this would be a normal thing for y’all?
Like you would frequently come by the studio while skz is recording to visit him
And you’d always end up giving him a little hello and goodbye kiss
It was always just a peck but you’d think you two were full on groping each other by the way the members start gagging and groaning
They honestly should be used to it by now but they just can’t help but tease their dad leader
Mainly seungmin
“Ew you like kissing old men?”
But Chan’s used to it by now and just rolls his eyes and focuses back on his work
But he can’t hide the smile on his face
He kinda likes when the members tease him, it really makes them feel like family
Minho:
Would definitely turn it into a spectacle
Ik he doesn’t normally like skin ship from the other member that much so many people think he wouldn’t like pda from the reader but I think it’d be quite the opposite
Like I feel like he’d be the type that would grab you and pull you in closer when you try to just give him a peck in the dorm
Like we’re talking turning it into a full on make out session
And he’s fully aware the members are there, that’s partly why he does it
He thinks it’s kinda funny to get a reaction out of them
I feel like there’d be a mix array of both groaning an wolf whistling from the others
Either way he’d just throw a middle finger to the members over his shoulder as he smirks into the kiss
Changbin:
I actually kinda feel like changbin would be a little embarrassed
Like at first he’d kinda forget the other members are there and kinda get into it
And then when he’d hear the reaction from the members he’d pull away with a little blush on his cheeks
Would have that cute little embarrassed smile that he does as he lowers his head a little as he murmurs a “shut up” to the members
(If you’re a stay I feel like you definitely know which smile I’m talking about)
Would totally never admit to anybody that he was blushing
Like the other members maybe Chan would tease him like “aw binnies embarrassed”
And changbin being his loud self would be like “HUH? YOU THINK ID GET EMBARRASSED OVER SOMETHING LIKE THIS?”
Like my mind immediately went to that men in colorful pants vlive he did with Chan and Han when he was yelling at chan for calling him out on rapping his line too fast and he was like “YOU THINK I RAPPED FAST CAUSE I WAS NERVOUS?” Lol
Just imagine him saying it like that if you’ve seen that live
Jisung:
This man would be SHOOK
Like I’m talking about pulling away like he’s been BURNED
Quokka cheeks are flaming red
Why do I almost feel like this man would let out a surprised yelp as if you’ve just attacked him lmao
Looks between you and the members with wide eyes like “did that really just happen?”
unlike with the others I feel like the members wouldn’t make teasing comments towards you guys
They’d just be on the floor ROLLING at Han for getting so flustered
And even though you were the cause of it he’d still hide his face behind you to escape his embarrassment
Hyunjin:
Feel like he wouldn’t get too into the kiss knowing the others are there
But also would definitely lean into you a bit
For some reason I just feel like hyunjin would be an amazing kisser
I mean have you seen those luscious lips??
Anyways that’s a story for another fic lol I’m getting distracted
like Chan I’d feel like he’d get his sassy eye roll going on when the members made a comment
With how much it seems that hyunjin and seungmin play around with each other seungmin would definitely tease the shit out of him
And hyunjin would give him that signature bombastic side eye
I feel like seungmin would keep it going to the point of hyunjin just eventually standing up to literally pounce on him
Seungmin would just be laughing like a maniac the whole time
Felix:
I actually feel like Felix wouldn’t be as embarrassed as you’d think
Like Ik he’s a smol bean but down deep I feel like Felix is actually pretty confident
Not in a cocky way but like he’s sure of himself yk?
Like I feel like he’d just smile into it
Turns it into a bit of a longer but still soft and sweet kiss
Just completely ignoring the noises from the members in the background
Like I think he’d just be in his own little world with you
After y’all pull away he just pulls you to sit facing forward on his lap and hugs you from behind
Has THE brightest smile on his face as he does it
Seungmin:
I kinda feel like seungmin wouldn’t like you giving him pda
Not like to the point of getting angry or anything
But I kinda feel like he’d pull an “ew” face lol
(And I don’t mean this as being bad or anything, I myself don’t really love pda so I get it lol)
But you probably do it to just playfully annoy him
Which is why you’d probably be giggling with the members at him
“I hate you guys” but he’d say it with a smile on his face so you knew he wasn’t actually upset about it
He’d probably give you a long kiss later in his room to make up for it
Jeongin:
He wouldn’t go as far as to immediately yank away like jisung
But he’d definitely be a shy baby
Ik he looks all grown up and stuff these days but I feel like little baby bread is still under there somewhere lol
Like his eyes would widen mid kiss when he really processes that you’re kissing him in front of everyone
The members wouldn’t so much as tease him like with the others as they would moan and groan about seeing their little maknae doing “adult stuff” lol
Poor thing would definitely turn red, covering his face with his hands as he sunk down
Would honestly be wishing the couch would just swallow him up
Probably wouldn’t make eye contact with you for the rest of the night because he’d just start immediately blushing lol
Also would probably keep his distance cause anytime your hands so much as touched the members would tease him about y’all making sure you weren’t “moving too fast”
End notes: well I officially finished this at 5am lmao. Guess I better head to bed🫡
#skz x reader#skz#skz imagines#stray kids#stray kids x reader#bang chan x reader#lee know x reader#changbin x reader#han jisung x reader#hyunjin x reader#felix x reader#seungmin x reader#jeongin x reader#reader insert#lee felix#bang chan#lee know#han jisung#hyunjin#seungmin#jeongin#headcanon#fluff#fluffy
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You've now filled my head with nothing but Alastor and Lucifer brainrot. Any other sharing thoughts you have for them? (I cannot stop thinking about them, I quite literally thought about them sharing me during my entire 8hr retail shift yesterday)
alastor and lucifer sharing you pt 3!
pt1, pt2
this was highly requested, thank you all for the love <3 im tagging anyone who asked/was fine with it last time but now you can fill out this taglist form to ensure you're tagged for future posts!
tags: @lu-ferri12 @my-anime-garden @princessdreamss @polytheatrix @reaper-of-light-12 @ambi-squirrelly @hazelfoureyes @meggletoomanyfandoms @afernandez21
cw: angst ig?? idk reader is upset cause they keep fighting, general relationship issues for a moment, smut, reader gets eaten out, there's some light praise and condescension i think, alastor has a master kink, alastor discovers he LOVES eating pussy, there's like a weird sexual tension between alastor and lucifer for the majority of this if you squint, the ending is VERY suggestive
other: not 100% happy with formatting on this but i wrote majority of it on a 6 hour flight so like. you win some you lose some. not proofread that well, i kind of ramble at times too but it's fine. 2.1k word count and half of it is formatted in a headcanon cuase, again, lazy 6 hour writing. i also don't use the bolding and coloring that much cause it'd be a lot of work.
left the ending a little open, will probably do a poll tomorrow on if people want me to take this that direction.
■ okay so sex aside i would think outwardly everyone knows you're in a relationship with lucifer at the very least
■ but it's kept lowkey with the other part of the relationship
■ which both are fine with btw
■ lucifer loves pda so he's happy, alastor isn't a fan so it's whatever
■ the public part works out because alastor would genuinely be worried about someone trying to use you to get to him
■ it's bad enough that it's known the king of hell has a new partner, but nobody knowing that if they fuck with you they're fucking with the king of hell AND the radio demon is a silent advantage
■ if anyone knows, it's charlie. but only to the extent of like the fact it's a hinge relationship, everything else she doesn't know and honestly doesn't need to know
■ she's just happy her dad seems happy and is getting along better with alastor
■ i think alastor is the kind to really start caring during the relationship vs. lucifer caring about you deeply before
■ so occasionally alastor will pull you aside, or if no one is watching will just press a quick kiss on your forehead.
■ meanwhile lucifer is always making it known he's in love with you
■ arm around your shoulder, holding your hand, everything
■ again, alastor doesn't really mind unless lucifer decides to be an ass abt it
■ look they still compete with each other sometimes they can't help it
■ then it becomes a game of how much the other can get away with before you either get upset or it's too telling
■ that's the other thing is like, the competing gets really fucking annoying to you
■ we saw them in hells greatest dad it wasn't a want to be a better dad it's just wanting to out do the other
■ and when it transfers to your relationship it gets agitating fast
moving on
■ relationship side alastor isn't as involved with that
■ but if either of them did something that upset you or like there was a lovers quarrel between you and either side it's a big deal to them
■ especially if you're only upset with one half of the hinge
■ cause like, sure, they could compete with each other and purposefully drive you apart
■ but tbh.. both of them lowkey like this arrangement much more than they thought they would
■ so they end up talking to each other about it and figuring out what to do
■ same if you're upset with both
■ not that you're upset often it's just that when you are it's usually cause they crossed a line in their little competition
■ and they hate making their girl feel like a prize to be won :(
■ whatever their solution is, they do it together.
■ show you they can get along, that they both care about you enough
■ you're in your room, a bit of a blow up happened earlier after they got into one of their arguments
■ it's not that you genuinely think theyre using you to get to the other but sometimes with the way they act it's easy to doubt
■ anyways, they both come in, it's late
■ i cry when im frustrated/upset and i think it's a pretty normal reaction, so let's just say you're crying a little
■ they're both immediately at your side, apologizing profusely
■ you've never cried like this before
■ it scares them. alot.
■ for once there's absolutely no competition, the only worry is making you feel better.
■ both sitting next to you on the couch, lucifer murmuring how much he loves you, and how he knows how much alastor cares for you
■ i hate the whole "alastor doesn't understand emotions" thing because he does. he has to, he knows how to read people well.
■ it's just he hasn't ever comforted someone
■ he doesn't know what to do when someone he cares about is upset
■ so he's glad lucifer is here, as alastor just sits at your side nodding along and gently rubbing your back
■ alastor only tunes back in when lucifer offers to give some space for the night, and a little murmur from you agrees but asks they both come to bed that night
■ given its usually only lucifer who actually sleeps in the same bed as you alastor is surprised
■ but lucifer is beckoning him out for some space.
"cmon, we'll be back in an hour yeah?" he chimes from the door, and with a squeeze of your shoulder alastor is out of the door, but he opts to walk along with lucifer. "we gotta do better" lucifer sighs as he walks, not looking over at alastor. he's not accusing alastor, he seems equally disappointed in both of them.
"for her?" alastor adds, and lucifer gives a hum of agreement. "this while ordeal has been quite... stressful as of late, no?" alastor adds, "to our own faults, yes" lucifer murmurs, giving a sigh. alastor nods, and the two men walk in silence for some time, ending up in the parlor, husk far since gone to bed. "want anything?" lucifer pulls alastor back to reality once again, he's standing behind the bar while alastor had been staring off, his mind running with thoughtd of god knows what.
"whiskey, my friend?" alastor suggests, and giving it a considerate thought lucifer pours two glasses. the silence falls over them again, just the sound of the clink of their glasses on the counter.
"so tell me, how do you do it when you pleasure her?" alastor breaks the silence, lucifers eyes dart up to him. thinking for a moment before replying "i don't really think tonight is the time for that—" lucifer says, but in a gentle tone.
"no no, in the morning." alastor says, staring down at his glass. "you two indulge often in the morning, correct?" alastor says, now his eyes uncomfortably on lucifer. Watching as the other man almost pales a little, swallowing thickly.
lucifer immediately falters, giving a sigh. "look it's not— i‐ that's not her fault–" lucifer immediately starts, assuming this is a confrontation. his eyebrows raise as alastor shakes his head. "oh please, if i had problem with it i would have done something" he says, a static crackle echoing through the room. "no, i want to know how you do it when you... when it's just about her. how can i do the same?" alastor asks, and this is even more surprising to lucifer than this whole fucking idea in the first place.
■ so lucifer of course explains some stuff to him, of course it's hard because unless he's done it before it's hard to articulate some of his "moves"
■ i mean lucifer can hardly resist going down on you everytime, he's definitely experienced but it's hard to transfer that knowledge at times
■ but he's impressed alastor even asked
■ so when they return to your room, they're a lot more calmer with each other than before.
■ that night changed a lot between them tbh
■ it's slightly awkward for both of them when everyone gets settled in the bed
■ you're on your back, lucifer on your right side and alastor on the left.
■ they're both holding you to the best of their abilities
■ lucifer gives alastors hand a squeeze before shuffling it to have a better grasp on your waist
■ you all peacefully sleep through the night, not shifting much but it's pretty comfortable
■ is the morning you're mostly cuddled into alastor, which is entirely lucifers doing
■ when you're all awake though alastor gets arguably nervous
■ but you being you, you slump over onto alastors chest, murmuring some affection to him
■ lucifer gives a nod, it's time.
■ he'd honestly probably move to get out of bed, assuming some privacy is wanted
■ but he feels a shadow wrap around his forearm, it's a light pressure
■ alastor shakes his head, mouthing a small "please"
after lucifer processes for a moment what exactly is about to go down, he's okay with that. he settles back in, his eyes on the two of you as alastor tilts your chin up, pressing a kiss to your lips. "my dear, would you mind if i tried something a little different with you?" alastor chimes, and you blink your eyes open again, still a bit sleepy as you give a nod.
he gently maneuvers you on the bed so you're laying on your back, his hands pawing at your sleep shorts and pulling them to your ankles. lucifer watches, honestly a little mezmerized by the whole ordeal. he feels proud in an odd sort of way. “I think our little doe deserves a treat, would you like that?” alastor murmurs as he spreads your thighs open. You take a shaky breath before murmuring some form of agreement, maybe even a little plea.
without further prodigy, alastors finally leans down his tongue swiping down your folds, hands grasping your hips to pull you to his face. your hands go to hold lucifers, but he shakes his head tutting at you. “ah ah, that’s not very polite princess” he chides softly, guiding your hands to alastors hair.
and alastor makes good use of the tips and information lucifer gave him, his tongue plunging into your sweet little hole as his nose bumps your clit. his eyes wander up, making eye contact with you as he eats you out so wonderfully. you tug at his hair and he practically growls in pleasure, opting to change tactics and focus his mouth on your clit while his fingers slide inside you, gently curling into your sweet spot.
and lucifer watches it all, absolutely mesmerized. he doesnt know what it is about watching this but theres something about knowing alastor is doing exactly as told to in this scenario that makes lucifer feel warm. he lets alastor steal the show, doing only minimal work. maybe hes softly cooing praises or gently reminding you to show your appreciation to the one making you feel this good.
as you get close, evident by the murmur that falls past your lips, alastors eyes snap to lucifers for a moment, and he takes a moment to think before understanding. usually when youre close alastor is all over you, telling you to be such a good girl and cum, just slight praises and coaxing. given the fact hes face deep in your sweetness he cant really do that, so that job is up to lucifer now.
“isn’t alastor doing such a good job duckling? you want to make sure he knows how good hes treating you, dont you?” lucifer coos, scooting in behind you on the bed so you stop trying to writhe away. “I think he’d be so disappointed if you didnt cum for him, you think you can do that, hm? you wanna cum all over your masters tongue?” lucifer says directly in your ear, and alastor feels a bit of a warmth in his stomach by being referred to as “master”
when you give a weak moan in response lucifer sighs, shaking his head. “be a good girl now, you can do it little doe” he says which is what sends you toppling over the edge, your hips rutting up into alastors mouth, whiny moans coming from you as alastor desperately licks up your sweet release. this whole thing was quite enjoyable for alstor, but hearing lucifer call you “little doe” his petname for you made him smugly satisfied.
after some aftercare which mostly just involved more cuddling, alastor feels satiated enough to shift to leave, before getting a look from lucifer. he reluctantly stays, feeling as you come to lay at his side once more. lucifer seems to take note of something, giving alastor a nod down, he glances down, seeing the obvious tent in his pants. alastor looks back up, slightly annoyed. a like “yeah, no shit dumbass” kind of look is exchanged.
alastor looks back down at you, pressing a kiss to your forehead as you sigh happily. but alastor tenses as he feels a hand on his knee, shooting a glare to lucifer as he traces his hand up a little. the two meet as and alastor takes a shaky breath as lucifer leans in just a little, breathing out the next few words with a calmness alastor admires:
“just keep cuddling her”
#lucifer smut#alastor smut#hazbin hotel#lucifer morningstar x reader#alastor#hazbin hotel lucifer#hazbin hotel smut#hazbin hotel x reader#alastor x reader#lucifer morningstar#radioapple#alastor the radio demon#alastor x lucifer#smut#hazbin alastor#hazbin lucifer
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big brown puppy eyes - cs55
carlos sainz x fem!celeb!reader smau
summary; y/n causes chaos on twitter after being asked about her type...
warnings; cursing, teeny tiny bit of suggestive content if you squint
fc; madelyn cline
notes; first post!! kinda nervous, just hope it does well...🥸
Cut just posted a new video!
Y/N Y/L/N and Madison Bailey play Truth or Drink!🍻 | Cut
TWITTER
INSTAGRAM
yourusername
liked by carlossainz55, landonorris and 2.437.621 others
yourusername 🥶
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yourbsf gorgeous gorgeous girl😍
user MOTHERRRRR
user face card is insane
user carlos on the likes already omg that bitch fast
user posting the cuntiest pics of yourself just after your crush started following you, she’s so me
user she ate so hard with this photoshoot
user not just carlos but also lando on the likes omg my girl is definitely on the groupchat😭
user who are they?? user they are two formula 1 drivers, y/n was asked about her type on a recent interview and she basically described carlos so fans have been speculating and joking about it but now he actually started following her
user HOW IS IT POSSIBLE TO LOOK THIS PERFECT
user never thought i’d see the day of my two worlds colliding
user enough abt carlos sainz can we talk about HER🔥🔥
yourusername just posted a new story!
[oh melbourne you a beaut😍] [guess where to💄] [hi @/scuderiaferrari👋🏻]
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carlossainz55 red suits you😉 yourusername i’ll have to find another color for next year tho carlossainz55 mmm carlossainz55 maybe red and blue🤔
user GIRL WHAT THAT WAS FAST
yourbsf have fun and tell him i say hi
scuderiaferrari
liked by carlossainz55, yourusername and 1.542.353 others
scuderiaferrari We had to pleasure of having actress and model, Y/N Y/L/N in the paddock with us this weekend for the 1-2 finish!😍 Perhaps a lucky charm?😉
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yourusername the pleasure was all mine! wouldn’t mind coming around more often🤭
carlossainz55 🍀
user you guys are not sneaky user just kiss already omg
user forget carlos i want her😫😫
user hot girls support car number 55 wbk
yourusername
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yourusername australia you were fun🌶️🫶🏻
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carlossainz55 see you in japan?🤔
yourusername will u be there or is another one of your organs suddenly gonna burst?🤔
user LMAOOOOOOO
user girl just hard launch atp (i’m begging)
yourusername just posted a new story! carlossainz55 just posted a new story!
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carlossainz55 “puppy dog eyes” and a spanish accent will take you long ways, te quiero princesa❤️ (ily princess)
tagged yourusername
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user FUCKING FINALLYYYYY
user THREE WHOLE months after that beach date soft launch i was starting to loose hope😣
yourusername carlitoooosss🥺
yourusername te quiero mucho🩷 (ily)
landonorris i see you’re putting those spanish lessons i gave you to use… carlossainz55 literally what are you even talking about “lago” landonorris f off.
maxverstappen1 happy for you mate❤️
user omg someone took your bitch max emiliano fight back
user i’m afraid we’re looking at the new best wag everyone bow
yourusername
liked by yourbsf, carlossainz55 and 3.002.122 others
yourusername thanks to that one twitter user for being delusional, now i get to wake up to this view🫠
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user THE LAST PICTURE I’M-😦😦
user this couple may be a bit too hot and too powerful for us mere mortals
user i js know she’s gonna bless us with the most gorgeous boyfriend carlos pics ever
carlossainz55 huuuuge thanks😉
user THAT’S MEEEEE SHE MEANS MEEE
user how does it feel to have played matchmaker to the hottest couple of the decade…
#f1 fanfic#formula 1#f1#f1 x reader#fanfiction#smau#f1 smau#carlos sainz#carlos sainz jr#scuderia ferrari#carlos sainz x reader#carlos sainz imagine#carlos sainz social media au#carlos sainz smau#carlos sainz x you#carlos sainz fanfic#carlos sainz fluff#cs55#cs55 smau#carlos sainz 55#f1 fic#motorsports#formula 1 smau#carlos sainz fanfiction
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dare to fuck this up
summary: ever since your last game of truth or dare ellie's been avoiding you and it's time for an intervention
tags: NSFW, tlou au, college!ellie/reader, mentions of drugs and alcohol (not used), oral (e receiving), fingering (r receiving), finger riding (r receiving), little bit of angst, afab reader, the knee thing
a/n: this took me 2 months cause i work full time and it's 10k words so. enjoy (thank u for all the love on part 1! <3) also for anyone who doesn't know the tiktok dance i mentioned i linked it. don't look under the sound you'll spend way too long watching hot women dance
part 1
You hadn't talked about it.
You had woken up the next morning, the sun blinding you from the window that was still left open. A cold autumn breeze ruffled your curtains, pricking at your bare skin. With one foot still in a dream, you'd groaned, turning over and pulling your blanket over your head. You had burrowed your head into your pillow - it still smelled earthy, rich with cologne and the faintest smell of weed. It had made your nose wrinkle only briefly, before you had reached out, searching for the warmth of another body - but your fingers only landed on the sheets, now cool to the touch.
You sat up with a gasp, the blanket pooling around your lap. But you had fallen asleep on top of your blankets, hadn't you?
The comforter was laid neatly over you, the pillows on the other side of the bed propped against your headboard, unbothered. The sun was streaming through the window, filtering through your curtains and shining in splatters of light against your own bare skin. Your small room was deafeningly quiet.
That had been three weeks ago.
For three weeks, Ellie avoided you. You hadn't seen her when you left to take your exam that morning. By the time you got home - after classes and after your part-time job - it was dark. The door to her bedroom was firmly shut, the muffled sound of music leaking into the living room - you wanted to smile when you realized she was listening to that song you had recommended. You thought about knocking on her door; not even to talk about what happened, really, but just because she was your best friend. Instead, you ate leftover takeout - cold because you were too tired to microwave it - and went to bed. You could hear her quietly singing to the music through your flimsy wall, falling asleep listening to her voice.
At first, you honestly thought you had dreamed it. You thought maybe you had fallen asleep, sleep deprivation and vodka drawing out this fantasy in your dreams to torment you when you woke. But when you looked in the mirror, the bruises were still there. You ran your fingertips across the one on your collarbone, pressing at the one left behind your ear; you could still feel the warmth of Ellie's mouth against your skin, her teeth grazing across your hips. The phantom feeling still sent a shiver down your spine, heat creeping in your stomach.
Ellie was trying her best to avoid you, but she still lived with you. After three days of not speaking, you resorted to a different approach. She didn't seem to have any plan to speak with you anytime soon - certainly not about what happened - so you let your body do the talking. You began wearing primarily v-necks and tank tops - ignoring the fact that it was still fall - simply to broadcast the line of lovebites she had left, her signature written all over your skin. They had faded slightly, but the purplish bruises still blossomed along your collar. You began wearing shorts around, short enough to show the bruise on your thigh; you let the fabric sit low enough to show the one at your hip, a pretty blend of colors that made you ache. The few times you did see her - when she was scavenging for food in the kitchen or right when she got home, before she could scurry away back to her room - you could feel her eyes lingering on you, gaze like a brand against your skin, burning all the spots she had marked.
And she would hurry back to her room, locking the door behind her.
Fine.
If she refused to talk about it, you thought, you'd just have to make her.
Which is why, three weeks after your original game - three weeks after that stupid fucking night - you bought a new bottle of vodka (by the time you had found the old one, it had spilled the last of its contents into your rug. Your room still smelled of it). When you got home, Ellie’s door was shut, just as it had been every day for three weeks. You kicked off your boots, leaving them in a pile in the hall, and knocked on her door.
“Sorry, I’m busy,” she called - just as she had every day for three weeks.
You pursed your lips and knocked again, harder.
“I’m busy!” she called again, her voice hard. It might have stung if you didn’t know her so well.
So, you knocked again. And kept knocking, a steady, continuous rhythm that echoed against the walls. You heard Ellie curse under her breath, could hear the scrape of her chair and her footsteps, and you kept knocking. You didn’t stop - didn’t even slow - until she opened the door in a huff, your hand falling against open air.
“What the hell are you-”
You shoved the bottle of vodka against her chest, cutting her off. She gripped it hastily before it could shatter against the floor.
She looked frazzled. You had seen her during several exam seasons, during harrowing projects and infuriating essays. You had seen her in the hospital, two years ago, after breaking her leg skateboarding to work. But there was something in the way her hair was disheveled, sticking up at odd angles as though she had been running her fingers through it over and over and over again. There were bags under her eyes, purplish splotches like watercolor.
And her eyes…. Her eyes were completely shattered.
So you hesitated - briefly, just long enough for her to see the stutter on your lips - before you said, “Truth or dare?”
And the game began.
Ellie looked at you, staring for several moments that stretched into infinity. You wanted to grasp it, to wrap your fingers around that stretched thread of a moment and hold it there where it couldn't hurt either of you. You weren't ready to let it go. But Ellie was looking at you with those broken eyes, and before you could say or do anything - before you caved and took the bottle back, fleeing back to the safety of your own room - the thread snapped.
Ellie shook her head - and kept shaking it, as if doing so would rid her of this… whatever this was. “No,” she murmured, avoiding your eyes as her grip around the bottle’s neck tightened. “No, I’m not doing this. I’m busy, okay? I have an exam tomorrow-”
She moved to close the door - shutting it right in your face - but you kicked your foot out to stop it.
“When somebody asks the question,” you said, reciting the stupid little agreement you both had written out two years ago, the night you established this tradition, “you have to play the game to its conclusion; when you run out of questions or pass out from alcohol poisoning. Those are the rules, El. Remember?”
And still, she just looked at you, her brow furrowed like you were an equation she couldn’t solve - couldn’t even read, really. Her knuckles were white around the bottle’s neck, and when you looked down, her hands were shaking. You wanted more than anything to put your hands over hers, to still them - to bring those hands to your lips and kiss the white knuckles until she released her fists. Instead, you dug your nails into your thighs.
You watched as Ellie took a deep, steadying breath, clenching her fists tighter before releasing the tension, her fingers relaxing around the bottle; her hands stopped trembling. She smiled at you, but it was tight, her eyes empty of their usual mischief. “Alright,” she said, and her voice was just as tight as her fists had been moments ago - the tension not gone, only transferred. “Okay, I’ll play. But you only get an hour - I really do need to study.”
Ellie’s bedroom was the same layout as yours, only flipped, the two a mirror of each other. Strings of lights hung crookedly along the walls, the bulbs casting a soft, warm glow amongst the room, the same hazy hue of a dream. An easel leaned in one corner, a canvas propped against it; there were only the barest scribbles of an outline, incomprehensible to you. You thought it may be a profile, the gentle slope of a nose and soft lips sketched in pencil, but you weren’t sure.
You ran your fingers over her desk as you passed; it was in absolute disarray. Two different astronomy textbooks lay open, covered in highlighter markings and Ellie’s sloping writing in the margins. There were three different cups on the surface in varying levels of full: a mug half full of coffee, still steaming; a glass of water that was completely full, untouched; and a cup filled with murky, grey liquid. A few paintbrushes had been left to sit in that one, and in large writing along the cup was written PAINT DO NOT DRINK. You almost laughed, remembering all the times you had watched your roommate spit water out after she had picked up the wrong cup.
It felt strange when you sat gingerly on her bed. You had sat in this spot so many times before, more than you could count. You had spent so much time lounging on this bed, your laptop open in front of you while Ellie worked at her desk - on homework or her latest painting or nothing at all. There were days laid out before you where you both at lain in a crumbled heap, eating takeout on top of the covers because Ellie didn't give a shit about crumbs, an open laptop playing whatever horror movie she wanted to show you (she was always more scared than you, hiding her face in your shoulder). God knows how many truth or dare games you had played in this room, a bottle of alcohol passing between shaking fingers. When Ellie bought it, it was cheap whiskey and you hated it; you drank it anyway.
Now, sitting on her bed - carefully, as though you thought it might break - your skin felt aflame, a fire burning in your muscles. When you ran your fingers over the messy sheets, you could only remember how it had felt to have your fingers clutching the ones on your own bed.
Ellie sat at her desk across from you, folding herself so that she had one foot propped up on the chair with her, her knee folded to her chest; her other foot tapped anxiously against the floor. She was looking at you, her face strategically neutral, but it was like she was looking through you; her eyes kept shifting away, unable or unwilling to settle on you. Her voice gave nothing away when she said, looking at a spot above your shoulder, “Dare.”
You sighed, feeling the questions wanting to claw their way from your throat with nowhere to go. You knew what you wanted her to do - what you wanted to dare her to do - but the words would only cause her to withdraw further. You felt like you had to approach Ellie as if she were a scared animal, ready to flee at the first sight of danger.
Wracking your brain for something mild, you said, “Try to recreate one of those dumb popular TikTok dances.”
You didn't miss how Ellie's shoulders relaxed, her hands noticeably unclenching. She looked at you and it was almost like nothing had happened; like she hadn’t been avoiding you for three entire weeks, becoming a ghost in your apartment. Like you both hadn’t made what had obviously been a drunken mistake.
The beginning of a smirk tugged at her lips as she dug in her back pocket for her phone - its case had an astronaut on it, because of course it did. The screen illuminated her face, flashes reflecting minutely in her eyes as she scrolled. She bit her lip absently - she often did when she was thinking. You tried not to stare and failed miserably.
“This’ll be easy,” she muttered to herself, half laughing. She scrolled through a few videos, and she had the volume down on her phone, but you could still recognize the song that kept playing on repeat; you were going to fucking die.
There were several minutes of quiet, only the music playing from Ellie’s phone. With nothing to do but wait, you brought your legs up onto the bed, tucking them under you; your eyes wandered around the room, taking in the stack of paintings by her desk, both finished and unfinished. The figurine she had of Kassandra from Assassin’s Creed: Odyssey had toppled on her desk, her spear falling in a glob of paint, the tip smudged bright yellow. You investigated the posters she had hung up of her favorite bands - almost all of them with female singers; she had a very specific taste. On her nightstand, in a frame made of macaroni, there was a picture of her and her dad, taken at the zoo when she was quite a bit younger, the blurry image of a giraffe in the background. She was holding up a peace sign, smiling so wide her eyes were practically shut.
You turned back when Ellie stood up from her chair, placing her phone on her desk. Shoving her hands in her hair, she said, “Can’t promise this’ll be anything amazing, but you get what you paid for.” Even as she said it, she was smirking, a dangerous twinkle in her eye.
You watched as she rummaged in her closet, shoving aside probably half a dozen flannels and at least 10 different band t-shirts. She rummaged through a bucket with a few beanies in different colors, and you couldn’t see her face, but you already knew she would be wrinkling her nose like she always did when she was getting frustrated.
You jumped, startled, when she suddenly exclaimed, pulling her head from her closet and turning to you with a triumphant grin. She held a black belt in her fist, holding it up like a trophy.
You shook your head at her, even as your throat closed up with anticipation. “If it took you that long to find one, it’s no wonder your pants are always hanging from your fucking ass.”
“Hey,” she said, picking up her phone again and looking at you with mock offense; she was still smirking. “I don’t exactly hear you complaining when my ass is out.”
You heard the stutter, heard the way her breath caught after she said the words. It was so stupid - a stupid little remark that she would have made any other day three weeks ago. She wouldn’t have even thought about it, wouldn’t have batted an eye. You would have rolled your eyes and said something mean in response - something like, “I save my complaints for when I see your face instead.” You would have laughed and then watched a fucking movie or something.
Instead, Ellie only coughed awkwardly, ducking her head to fiddle with her phone. In the dim light, you could see the flush of her cheeks behind her bangs. You looked anywhere but at her, your eyes darting around to find something to focus on that wasn’t how pretty she looked when she was flushed pink - how pretty she looked with her cheeks red from alcohol and exertion, her lips shining wetly -
Your brain short-circuited when Ellie started the music - only the bite-sized sample that was trending on TikTok. She set her phone on her desk and took a deep breath, waiting for the song to loop again as she positioned the belt by her hips. She didn’t look at you, instead casting her eyes to the ceiling and muttering, “This is gonna be so stupid.”
When the music looped again, you were forced to watch as Ellie thrust her hips to the beat, pulling the belt slowly away from her hips. When she brought it up to wrap the piece of leather around her neck, pulling it taut, you were surely convinced you must be paying for some sort of crime, that this was your eternal torture. Her movements were janky, stuttering and unsure and off-beat - she had only watched the videos for a few minutes and was relying solely on memory to guide her limbs. When she tried to tie her wrists into the belt, she got stuck, her hands ending up in a knotted mess. Still, her eyes met yours when she raised her bound hands above her head - coincidentally or purposefully - and you couldn’t look away.
This was definitely Hell. It had to be.
When the song started to loop again, Ellie hastily tried to pull her hands from the knot. The belt clattered to the floor, abandoned, as she scooped her phone up, fumbling with the buttons to cut off the music. She nearly dropped her phone in her haste.
When the room was silent again, Ellie sat back down at her desk. Last time you had played, you had asked her to do something ridiculous for her first dare, and she had grinned with pride, practically preening. Now, she wasn't smiling; she hardly even looked at you, fiddling with one of the many paintbrushes on her desk. You compartmentalized the image of her thrusting her hips with her hands bound over her head, saving it for later. You always did torture yourself with these things.
Ellie was looking at that same spot over your shoulder when she said, “Truth or dare?” She sounded pained, her words strained against some invisible weight. It was like your very presence in her room - on her bed - pained her, but you couldn’t bring yourself to leave and give her relief.
“Truth,” you said, hoping against hope that she would ask you fucking anything about that night three weeks ago.
But she had never been that easy. Ellie had never been one to give you straight answers and she wasn’t about to start now - especially not now. So instead of saying anything - asking anything - about that night that she seemed keen on forgetting, she asked, “What’s the worst first date you’ve been on?” Before you could protest that you always told her about your worst dates, she added, “One I haven’t heard before.”
So for the span of one question, you let yourself believe that you were still talking to your best friend. That she hadn’t been avoiding you for three fucking weeks and this was only your typical truth or dare game in between studying. You believed that you were simply gossiping with Ellie, who had been your best friend for several years and nothing more. In the space of one question, you let yourself believe that this was still only a game and not an intervention.
So, in the spirit of pretend, you thought for a moment, rifling through the index of all the shitty dates you’ve been on. Ellie had already heard most of them, had been there whenever you came back home; she was there whether you were heartbroken or relieved that you wouldn’t see the person again. There were a few times where you had come home laughing, and she had passed you a joint as you told her all about the horrible date - you would take twice as long to tell the story because you couldn’t stop laughing.
Finally, you said, “Okay, this was before we came to college. We weren’t close enough friends in high school for me to tell you, so I don’t think you’ve heard this one before. Stop me if I’m wrong.” She waved her hand for you to continue, twirling a pencil between her fingers. “I had just graduated high school so I was dating around before I left for college - nothing serious, just casually looking around.”
“Window shopping,” she interrupted you with a grin - that same easy grin she always had with you. Your heart tugged embarrassingly at seeing it again.
You swallowed the lump and continued, “Yeah. So, I went on a date with this guy - he was some friend of a friend’s, I didn’t know much about him. We went out to dinner at some local dive bar - which was already fucking weird because, like I said, I had just graduated high school.”
“Was this guy a fucking cradle robber?” Ellie said, wrinkling her nose.
You shook your head. “He may as well have been. He was either 21 or he was just really good friends with the bartender because as soon as he came in, he got two beers - the cheap shit, too. It tasted like musty ass.” Your stomach twisted when she laughed. “So we sit at a booth and I finally get a second to really look at him.” You leaned forward, bracing your hand on the bed so you wouldn’t fall, and made sure she was looking right at you when you said, “And this motherfucker was wearing a shirt that said Black Rifles Matter.”
You reveled in the way Ellie’s jaw dropped, her eyes widening. Her lip turned up in disgust, and the only thing she could say was, “No.”
You grinned, nodding, and you had to focus really hard to not start laughing. “Yes. And I rolled up to this dive bar, fresh out of the womb, with bright pink hair freshly dyed and a crop top that literally said Femme on it in bright pink letters - which, okay, maybe not the choice to wear on a first date with a straight guy, but still. I was in this booth with a baby face looking every bit as queer as I am, and this fucking dude with a patchy mustache and a shirt that has more problems than I care to admit opens up by telling me he doesn’t like when girls dye their hair.”
Ellie was rolling her eyes, on the edge of her seat. She leaned closer as you continued, “But fine, whatever, everybody has preferences I guess. But this guy gets three beers in, and he’s already been talking about weird shit - conspiracy theories and telling me how kids today are too soft - one of those fucking guys, right? But then he stops,” you hold up your hands for emphasis, leaning even closer, “and he leans into me over the table, and he looks me straight in the eye - you wanna know what he said?”
Ellie groaned. “Tell me he didn’t ask who you voted for or some shit.”
You barked out a laugh; it echoed on the walls. “God, I wish. No, this bitch looks me dead in the eyes, his breath reeking of bad beer, and he says, ‘Are you on your period? I have this weird talent for smelling when girls are on their period.’”
You watched, delighted, as Ellie slapped a hand over her mouth, muffling a choked gasp. “No!”
You couldn’t stop laughing, pressing your hand to your stomach as you fell back against the sheets. Her laugh filled the room like helium, making everything feel lighter - easier. Even now, you couldn’t help but marvel at how easy it was being around Ellie. And for a moment, you did forget what had happened. You forgot about the string pulled taut between you waiting to snap. You forgot that this was anything more than simply another dumb game of truth or dare.
Until you looked up and saw the press of Ellie’s lips again, the way her eyes darted away, and you could feel yourself sinking again.
And that’s how the hour went. Ellie - infuriating Ellie - did every single dare you asked of her. She did a handstand for a minute straight, her face turning so red you thought she might pass out. She called the local pizza place you often ordered from and asked for one hundred sardine pizzas, laughing when the poor teenage boy on the other line started stuttering. Last time, she didn’t take all the liquid in the fridge and make a nauseating cocktail; but this time, she did go and find four different liquids of her choosing - apple juice, almond milk, an old flat Dr. Pepper, and the remaining vinegar in a Kimchi jar - and downed it in front of you. She tried her hardest to hold a straight face, but only ended up scrunching her eyes closed, clapping a hand over her mouth to muffle a gag. She never chose truth.
For your part, you never chose dare. You answered every pressing, embarrassing question she asked, ignoring the flush to your cheeks. You told her the most absurd dealbreaker for a relationship. (“What do you mean you’ll break up with someone if they don’t like garlic?” Ellie asked, smiling even as she shook her head.”) You went through the original Wiggles band and said which you would fuck, marry, or kill (“There are four of them! Do I choose to have a threesome?”)
And you waited. Each time you chose truth, you held your breath. You watched Ellie mull it over, her eyes darting around as she thought, and prayed that she would just ask you something. You knew it was an unrealistic wish, but you still watched her lips and hoped against hope that she would give you some kind of acknowledgement that this wasn’t all for nothing. You just wanted her to stop being such a pussy and fucking talk about what happened.
But the clock kept ticking.
After about an hour had passed, Ellie looked at her phone and sighed, standing up. “Okay, I really have to get back to studying. I have this dumb astrophysics exam tomorrow and I can’t wrap my fucking head around this shit, so I have to -”
“One more,” you cut her off, standing up from the bed. You followed her as she walked to the door, one step behind her when she put a hand on the doorknob. She paused, her hand frozen there as she looked at you - actually looked at you, not through you. It was only a moment, but it was there; you could feel the way her eyes had branded your skin even after she’d looked away. Your voice was rushed, breathless when you added, “We haven’t even opened the bottle, so what’s one more? Just for fun.”
Ellie looked behind you, back at the vodka bottle on her desk with the seal still intact. She sighed, but she never could say no to you.
“Fine,” she said, and her voice was so quiet in the dark room; the word felt like a secret between you, soft against the tension stretched thin. “One more.”
You nodded, taking a deep breath. You tried to sound casual - you really did - but when you spoke, you found you couldn’t speak any louder than a whisper, afraid to disturb the air around you. You ducked your head, trying to meet her eyes when you said, “Truth or dare, Els?”
She looked at you, meeting your eyes, and she seemed to deflate, sighing out a breath that ruffled your hair - you hadn’t realized how close you were. Her breath smelled of canned ravioli and weed; it was almost enough to make you laugh.
Ellie took a step back, clearing her throat, and answered for one last time, “Dare.” Because she was too afraid of the fucking truth.
And fuck it if your heart didn’t stutter in your chest. You felt your fingertips buzzing, your stomach twisting nauseatingly. You felt like you were going to be sick, but you forced yourself to look up at her. You squared your shoulders, feeling like you were preparing for fucking battle, and said, the words familiar on your tongue, “Kiss me.”
A moment of silence passed, the words suspended between you. They were tangible, and part of you still wanted to snatch them back - to swallow them and leave, to pretend this never happened - but you didn’t. You held them out to Ellie - you weren’t sure if they were a threat or an offering.
Ellie didn’t recoil, and you weren’t sure if that was more insulting. She looked at you for a long moment before turning away, shaking her head and turning the doorknob. “I really need to study, okay? I don’t have time for thi-”
You put your hand against the door, holding it there so she couldn’t open it. Your stomach was a mess, tying itself into knots that you would never be able to undo. And you knew - you were far too aware - that this could ruin everything. It could drive her further away, pushing her further into this little cocoon she was hiding in. Ellie might hate you for it.
But this was too important to ignore.
“Kiss me, Ellie,” you said again, and you could feel the bite of it on your own tongue. When you had said it three weeks ago, you had been so unsure. It had been a rush of words on a breath, tinged with alcohol and desperation. The words had been so careless, a sober idea that had made its way from your drunken mouth.
Now, Ellie was the one who couldn’t look at you. She stared at the spot where your hand pressed to the door, willing you to let go. Her knuckles were white around the doorknob. Her voice was a rumble that you felt in your chest when she said, “I need you to leave. Please.” That last word - please - made your heart break.
You swallowed around the lump in your throat and said, “No.”
Ellie finally turned her whole body towards you, but she was wearing a mask; she had schooled her face into a mockery of nonchalance, her eyebrows raised expectantly as she watched you. She crossed her arms, leaning against her hip, and watched you with measured expectancy, shaking her head. She shrugged and said, “What do you want? I really need to study.”
And it was the lack of care that broke you.
You slapped your hand against the door in frustration, feeling the sting in your palm, disappointed when Ellie didn’t so much as jump. You shook your head at her, and you were so fucking angry you could feel tears stinging at your eyes. You blinked them away and snapped, “What’s your fucking problem?”
Ellie’s eyebrows shot up, her mouth opening in indignant shock. “What’s my problem?”
“Yeah,” you cut her off before she could even continue. “What’s your fucking problem? You know what happened - what we did - but ever since that night you have been so determined to act like it never happened. You haven’t even talked to me in three fucking week, Ellie!” She closed her eyes when your voice broke on her name. “You’ve hardly looked at me all night. And look,” you sniffled, feeling some of the fire in you die down, “if you regret it - if you want to act like it never happened and go back to how things were before, I get it, okay? But can you at least have the balls to fucking tell me?”
Your voice echoed off the silent walls, filling the space between you until you couldn’t breathe. You wiped a hand roughly over your face; your cheeks burned and you hated yourself for it. The room was so quiet you feared Ellie could hear the sound of your racing heart.
It felt like hours before Ellie spoke; her voice was so heartbreakingly quiet, tip toeing on eggshells that were already broken. “I don’t regret it.”
You huffed out a breath, shaking your head as she still wouldn’t meet your eyes. She couldn’t even look at you. When you took a step closer, you could feel the heat radiating off of her body, could feel the warmth in your chest. Your voice had lost its fire, your throat cold and raw and broken. You could only murmur, “Then kiss me again, Els. What are you so afraid of?”
“You,” she snapped. You jumped, taking a step back; your heart lurched when she finally looked at you. Those shattered eyes were watching you, so open and vulnerable you wanted to look away. You forced yourself to watch, to bear witness to it when she shook her head, blinking tears from her eyes. Ellie pressed her lips together, blinking several times before releasing her held breath. She held your gaze like it was a lifeline and said, “I’m scared of you.”
And just for a moment - so filled with silence it might pop - you saw it. You saw how Ellie had run from you like an injured animal, hiding away. You saw the way her hands shook around her biceps. You saw the way she bit her lip to keep it from quivering.
You shook your head, feeling so incredibly small underneath those eyes that had avoided you all night; now they were vividly, overwhelmingly focused, broken in the hazy light and so green it was dizzying (and you couldn’t even blame it on the alcohol this time). You didn’t recognize your own voice, so small and vulnerable that the words themselves ached: “How can I fix this, Els? You want me to-” You huffed out a heavy breath, choking on your own voice. “Do you want me to act like it didn’t happen? Do you want me to leave you alone? I’ll do whatever you want, Ellie, I just… fuck. I just want my best friend back. So just… tell me what I did wrong.”
You jumped when Ellie barked out a laugh, so dry it cracked. It may have been a trick of the light, the soft string lights making everything feel unreal, but when she looked at you again, she went impossibly soft.
“You,” she said, so softly it ached, “haven't done anything wrong.” She sighed, leaning back against the wall; it was like all the fight suddenly drained from her, her shoulders sagging against the weight of three weeks. She looked away, her lashes casting shadows over her cheeks, and said, quiet as a confession, “You were drunk.”
You furrowed your brow, shaking your head. “What?”
Ellie ran a hand through her hair, making it even more disheveled. Pathetically, you wanted to fix it; you knew how soft the strands would be under your fingers.
“You were drunk,” she repeated, as though it pained her; as though it explained everything. Her voice broke, the shattered pieces falling at your feet. “And I…. Fuck, I shouldn’t have pushed you. I shouldn’t have… forced myself on you.” She heaved in a shaky breath, her words tumbling from her, broken glass cutting her throat, leaving it raw. “I couldn’t even… wait for you to wake up after. I just fucking ran - I couldn’t even look at you, and that’s even shittier! And for three weeks, I’ve been trying to figure out how to fucking talk to you when I know that we - that I shouldn’t have done that.”
Ellie pressed her hand to her mouth, taking in a shaking breath - her entire body was trembling as she fought to hold it all in. She looked ready to burst, struggling to take in a deep breath. You reached out to grab her hand - to hold her together - but she flinched away.
“I don’t-” you started, unable to find the words. You watched your best friend dissolve, and you couldn’t seem to fit all her pieces back together. “Ellie… Els, are you saying you’re avoiding me because - because you thought you took advantage of me.” The words tasted ridiculous on your tongue, a foreign object.
Ellie was shaking her head wildly, her hands balled into fists. “You were drunk!” she repeated, like a mantra. She pressed a hand to her chest as though to keep everything in. “You were drunk, and you kept telling me no, and I just… pushed. I pushed and I didn’t know when to stop and, fuck, I still can’t believe I did that and I didn’t even have the fucking balls to face you or even tell you I’m sorry, and-”
“Ellie.” You reached out and grabbed her wrist, cutting off her rambling; she flinched again but didn’t pull away. She looked up at you, her eyes wide and vulnerable and so impossibly green. “For one, do I need to remind you we were both drunk. And that I was the one who told you to kiss me?”
She watched you carefully, guarded; her bottom lip stuck out and, embarrassingly, you found you wanted to kiss it again more than anything. She took in a deep, shaky breath, ignoring the tears running down her cheeks; they mixed with her freckles like watercolor. “You kept telling me to stop - to leave it alone. And I didn’t listen.”
“Els, I told you to stop because I was scared,” you admitted in a rush. Before she could respond, you continued, “Not of you. I was scared of how badly I wanted you, okay? And that’s fucking embarrassing to admit, but I’m saying it so you know it wasn’t your fault. I was scared because… fuck.” You scrubbed a hand over your face, feeling tears on your own cheeks. “Because you’re my best friend. And I knew that, as much as I wanted it, it could fuck everything up. But I didn’t want you to stop.”
She shook her head. Her voice was raw when she said, “You couldn’t fuck anything up. You didn’t do anything wrong.”
“Neither did you,” you practically shouted. “Ellie, I asked you to kiss me! Yeah, I had a few shots that night, but I knew what I was doing. You asked me how long I’ve wanted it - what did I say, Els? Tell me.”
Ellie looked up at you, her cheeks splotchy from crying; she let you slip your hand into hers anyway. “A long fucking time.” It was no more than a whisper.
“Yeah,” you said, gripping her hand to keep her grounded. “Not just when I was drunk. Not just when it was late. And definitely not just when you wanted it too. I’ve wanted you for a long fucking time, Els.”
Ellie watched you, studying you like you were an equation she couldn’t figure out (she really needed to study for that astrophysics exam). She pursed her lips, nodding slowly, rubbing roughly at her damp cheeks. “Yeah.” Her voice broke again; she cleared her throat. “Yeah. Me too.”
You took a step towards her; her body was so warm it was dizzying. You could hear her breath catch when you reached up and pressed your palm to her cheek.
“What do we do now?”
When she sighed, you could feel it on your lips. You felt the warmth of her hand at your waist, a steady anchor. “Like you said,” she murmured, her gaze soft; she reached up to brush your hair from your face, her fingers grazing the side of your neck. “This could fuck everything up.”
Your heart lurched; you swallowed it back down so it could throw a fit right next to your twisted stomach. “Yeah,” you whispered, afraid to break the spell that made Ellie’s eyes watch the way your lips moved, captivated. “But….”
“But,” Ellie repeated, leaning in so her nose brushed against yours; it was cold against your skin.
You hardly had to move to kiss her, tilting your chin up to finally kiss that pouty bottom lip you had been staring at. You heard her breath catch again, her fingers pressing at your waist, drawing you closer so the warmth of her pressed against you. After three fucking weeks, you hadn’t forgotten how her lips felt against yours. It was just as intoxicating as it had been the first time; you were dizzy with the way she moved her mouth against yours, warmth spreading through your chest.
Ellie broke away from you, but she didn’t stray far; she pressed her forehead to yours, and you could see that her eyes were still closed, her brow furrowed. She sounded impossibly small when she said, “Are you sure about this? I mean, what-”
“Ellie,” you interrupted; you twisted your fingers into her short hair and tugged lightly, delighting in the gasp it pulled from her lips. “Just shut up for once, okay?”
You hardly even heard her replied Okay before her mouth was on yours again. Last time she had kissed you, you had felt lightheaded, floating with the weight of alcohol in your veins. Each press of her hands on you had felt unreal and distant, like she was touching you in a dream.
Tonight, the vodka bottle sat unopened and forgotten on her desk, and Ellie was pressing against you with a sharp realness that made your breath stutter in your throat. When her fingers ran along your jaw, cupping your face and tugging you closer, they were lightning against your skin. She had the welcoming warmth of a bonfire, and you were like a fucking moth drawn to her.
Ellie took a hesitant step forward, pressing you back, moving so slowly as though she thought you’d push her away. You let her push you backwards - encouraged her, really, entwining your arms around her neck and tugging her with you. You stumbled on the last few steps, practically falling back against the wall; Ellie braced her hands on either side of you to keep herself up, laughing into your mouth. You wanted to swallow the sound, to take it into your chest where it could curl up right next to your heart.
The wall was cold against your back, but Ellie was quick to chase it away; her warm hands ran up your back, rucking up your shirt and scratching her nails lightly over your skin until you shivered. She was so gentle with you this time, running her fingers over your skin with such careful deliberation, as though each kiss and each caress was meticulously planned out.
It was with this painstaking consideration that she lifted your shirt, pooling it around your chest; you raised your arms so she could pull it over your head.
Ellie snickered, snapping the strap of your bra against your skin. “This is new.”
“Shut the fuck up,” you said, batting her hand away. It was one of your nicer ones, and you couldn't tell her that, embarrassingly, you had worn it on purpose with the hopeless thought of just in case. “Sorry I’m not in my pajamas. I’ll be sure to fix that next time.”
She grinned, ducking her head to press a kiss to your jaw. She hummed against your skin, “No, I like it.”
You didn’t talk about the implication of what you had said - next time. But the way she kissed her way across your jaw, her teeth grazing over your skin and sending a shiver down your spine, promised a next time. As Ellie’s tongue darted out to lick along your pulse, you could feel the words in the breathy sigh that escaped your lips. When she ducked her head to bite at your collar, she branded the words into your skin.
“You’re such an asshole,” she said, her laughter warm against your skin. She pressed a gentle kiss to your collarbone; the bruise had long faded, but the phantom ache was still there. You could feel her smile when your breath hitched. “Just had these on full display. Drove me insane.”
You huffed out a laugh that stuttered when she pressed a kiss at the edge of your bra. “I had to get your attention somehow, didn’t I?”
Ellie lifted her head to meet your eyes. Her voice was barely above a whisper, her breath brushing your lips when she said, “You’re crazy if you think you’ve ever not had my attention.”
When she kissed you again, it was with a new fire that burned bright in your chest. Her hands gripped your hips, pulling you closer so that you could feel her body against every inch of you. Her fingers dipped below the waist of your pants, pressing at the soft skin there. You felt her tongue press against your lips; when she ran it along the room of your mouth, she swallowed your moan.
Ellie hummed against your lips, pressing you firmly into the wall and shoving a knee between your legs. You gasped at the sudden friction, heat pooling in your stomach when Ellie gripped your hips and pulled you closer, grinding against her sweatpants-covered leg. Her lips brushed against your ear and she murmured, “Tell me to stop and I'll stop.”
She had said those same words last time, pressed drunkenly into your skin. There was an affirmation hidden somewhere underneath: Do you still want me? Before, they had been slurred, like a sloppy kiss against your lips. Now, her hands steady against your hips, her body warm from something other than vodka, it was whispered like a promise.
You answered by pressing your hands to her chest; she didn’t fight you as you pushed her away, didn’t hesitate as you walked her backwards until the back of her knees hit her bed. She let herself fall backwards, but she wrapped her arms around your waist as she did so. You fell into a crumpled heap on top of her, knocking the air from both of your lungs, and you could feel her laughter against your neck.
Lifting yourself up on your elbows, you glared down at her; she only answered it with a grin, lifting herself just enough to kiss you briefly. You couldn’t suppress your own smile when you said, “You’re infuriating.”
Her eyes sparkled mischievously. She hooked her fingers in your belt loops and gave them a tug as she said, “Yeah, get used to that.”
You kissed her again to hide your smile. You didn’t talk about the inclination of that either.
Growing impatient, you swung your legs on either side of her, sitting up and straddling her hips. Ellie’s hands ran up your sides, captivated, as though refusing to keep her hands off you for even a moment. You idly ran your fingers over her stomach where her hoodie had risen up, the warm skin right above her sweatpants; you delighted in the way she shivered at your touch.
“This doesn’t seem fair,” you hummed, running your hand higher up her abdomen, revealing the expanse of soft skin; if you pressed just a little bit harder, you’d be able to feel the muscles beneath. You smiled when you heard her breath stutter, chest rising just slightly to meet your touch. “You’re wearing way too many clothes.”
Ellie - ever enthusiastic - wasted no time in sitting up just enough to tug her hoodie over her head, leaving her hair an absolute mess. She tossed it across the room; you thought you heard it knock something over, but you didn’t have a chance to look before Ellie was grabbing your hips, digging her fingers into the soft skin. You gasped when she used the leverage to pull your hips down, grinding against her.
This time, she was the one not wearing a bra - she had been home studying all day, so you hadn’t expected otherwise - and your eyes raked over miles of fair, warm skin. You wanted to run your fingers over it and watch the shiver your touch pulled from her. You wanted to press your lips to every inch of hot skin and feel the way her body arched into you, chasing your tongue.
But she was watching you with an intoxicating shade of anticipation in her half-lidded eyes. You realized you had been staring for a few seconds too long because she had that cocky ass grin on her stupid face.
“Like what you see?” she teased, pulling your hips down again so you had to bite down a moan.
“Shut the fuck up,” you mumbled. You couldn’t tell her how many times you had imagined what she would look like under your hands or how you had always wondered how far down her freckles went (you couldn’t keep yourself from running your fingers down her chest, tracing them like constellations). You couldn’t tell her how your eyes had tracked her anytime she walked around the apartment in a sports bra or, sometimes, in only a towel, your imagination running away from you.
If you told her, she’d never let you live it down.
Instead, you let your hands drift across the small swell of her chest, feeling the way her body arched into your fingers. You had to bite back a grin when your thumb brushed over her nipple, feeling her body shudder beneath you. You wanted to record the way her breath caught in her throat to listen to over and over again. Her eyelids fluttered, her lip caught between her teeth; you knelt down to kiss her, hard and deep, smiling into it when you pinched her nipple gently and she moaned against your lips, fingers tightening around your hips.
You needed to taste her, you realized. Your mouth watered with it.
You bit her bottom lip between your teeth, grinning when you heard her hiss. You took a moment to kiss your way across her jaw and down her neck, open-mouthed kisses pulling sighs from her lips. You couldn’t resist sucking the skin into your mouth, feeling the way her pulse jumped under your tongue and loving the moan that rumbled in her throat, her fingers gripping your hips so tightly you were sure you'd have bruises - again. But when you pulled away and saw the red beginnings of a bruise on her pale skin, a thrill ran through you. She would have to walk around with a physical reminder of how you had made her feel.
You loved revenge.
But you weren’t like Ellie, who had taken her sweet time in unraveling you. You didn’t have that kind of patience - certainly not now, not tonight. You had spent far too long holding yourself back - too long averting your gaze, never letting your touch linger. You had spent so long schooling your own imagination, trying to ignore the way your heart stuttered whenever Ellie wandered too close. You had spent too many nights letting your mind wander, only feeling safe to let your imagination run when you could hide in the dark; you had spent far too many nights with your hand between your legs and the fleeting image of green eyes and that crooked fucking smile.
So no, you didn’t have any patience left in you.
When you reached between your bodies and pressed your palm to her sweatpants, you swallowed her moan, drinking it in and feeling like you could survive on it alone. Maybe it would finally satiate your fucking thirst.
Kissing your way down her chest, you pressed the words into her skin - “I can't fucking believe you though I didn’t want this.” - before pressing the flat of your tongue to her nipple. You could get drunk on the breathy moan that dripped from her lips, the way she arched up into you like her body ached to be closer to yours. She pressed her hips into your palm and you could feel the heat through her sweatpants.
When you pulled back just enough to tug at her sweatpants, Ellie started laughing, breathy and hitched as she said, “Little eager, aren’t you?” Even as she said it, she was lifting her hips, pushing hastily at her pants to get them off faster.
The fabric was damp when it dropped to the floor, pooling around her ankles. Stepping off the bed, you placed your hands on her knees, pushing them apart. You dropped to your knees and pressed an open-mouthed kiss to the skin above her boxers. Her skin was hot under your tongue when you said, “Haven’t I waited long enough, Els?”
Ellie only responded with a moan as you sunk your teeth into the soft flesh of her thigh and pressed the heel of your palm to her underwear. You grinned against her skin when she cursed, grinding down into you. You soothed the bite with your tongue and backed away to admire the red beginnings of another bruise.
Ellie groaned, twisting her fingers in the sheets when you ground your palm into her. “Fuck, I’ve waited long enough too, right?”
You couldn’t hold back your grin, tugging at her boxers so she would lift her hips. With her underwear around her ankles, Ellie lifted herself up on her elbows so she could look down at you. Whatever she saw - you on your knees between her legs, lips parted so your hot breath fanned over her - made her groan, another breathy curse falling from her lips. She reached down and carded her fingers through your hair, fingers soft against your temple.
You smiled, blinking coyly up at her, and said, “Little eager, aren’t you?” before pressing the flat of your tongue to her clit.
The moan that wracked through Ellie’s chest sent warmth spreading through your stomach, an ache pooling between your legs. You raised your eyes to watch her as you licked a slow, painstaking stripe over her slit, watching the way her mouth fell open in a choked gasp. The metallic taste of her on your tongue made your head spin; you moaned when she twisted her fingers in your hair, delicious pain stinging your scalp when she tugged.
Ellie gasped your name like it was a promise. “Fuck - what the fuck -” Nonsensical words dripped from her lips with abandon, sweet as honey to your ears. When you ducked your head down to press your tongue inside her, a brief, hot pressure, her fingers tightened in your hair, her voice hitching when she cursed again, her words slurring together.
You wrapped one arm around her thigh, feeling the muscle trembling as you pressed your fingers into the soft flesh. You ran your other hand up her stomach, feeling the way her breath quickened in the rise and fall of her chest. Stretching further, you flicked your thumb over her nipple and tightened your arm around her thigh when her hips bucked, holding her in place.
You wrapped your lips around her clit, sucking it into your mouth and fighting back a smile at the keening whine it pulled from her. Her fist in your hair tugged you closer, guiding you exactly where she wanted you - and how could you resist her when she was chanting your name like a prayer?
A shudder wracked through Ellie’s body when you flicked your tongue over her clit, lapping at her like you were starving. (After waiting so long to taste her, you might as well have been.) She groaned when you pinched her nipple between your fingers, her thighs clamping around your ears. Her legs shook when she came, your name on her tongue as though it were the only word she knew. You coaxed her through it, the flat of your tongue licking over her clit until she was gasping for breath, her hips slumping back against the bed.
You peppered kisses over her thighs as she came down, your hand brushing across her stomach in soothing circles. Your knees ached from the cold floor, the carpet burning against your skin, but you couldn’t convince yourself to move just yet. When you glanced up at her, Ellie was looking down at you with glassy eyes; she had slumped back a little against her elbows, her limbs jelly - you tried not to let that go to your head - but she held out a hand to you, grasping for you. “Fuck, come here.”
You both took the time to finally scoot further up the bed, Ellie's head propped on her pillow, her hair a messy halo around her. She pulled you on top of her, bracing her hands on your hips as you straddled one of her legs. When you leaned down, she tilted her chin up to meet you, kissing you lazily, licking into your mouth like she had all the time in the world - like she could kiss you forever and it still wouldn't be enough. With your elbows braced on either side of her head, it felt like you were both in a small bubble, the world left outside to wait for you. Fuck, maybe you did have all the time in the world.
You gasped when Ellie raised her leg, pressing it between your thighs with an intoxicating pressure. She used her hands on your hips to push you down, guiding you as you grinded down against her. She broke away from the kiss, taking a moment to just look at you. Her pupils were blown, swallowing the green entirely.
She grinned, endearingly lopsided, and murmured, “Now you're wearing too many clothes.” You whined a protest when she took her hands off your hips, but she only reached behind you to fumble with the clasp of your bra. It took her a few tries - you bit back a laugh when she cursed in frustration - and she threw it across the room when she finally got off.
“Who the fuck designed those things?” she grumbled, fingers quick on the button on your jeans.
You got off of her for only a moment, just long enough to kick your jeans and underwear off, but each second her skin wasn't on yours was agony. Your clothes hadn’t even fallen to the floor before Ellie was pulling you back in by the nape of your neck, her other hand guiding your hips back over her leg as she kissed you with a hunger that may as well have devoured you. You hissed when her teeth sunk into your lip, her tongue soothing over it before licking into your mouth.
Your breath caught on a broken moan when she pressed her thumb into the dips of your hips, pressing you back to grind against her leg. The feeling of your bare pussy sliding against her thigh made you lightheaded, the dizzying pressure sending sparks through your stomach. Ellie's fingers still on the back of your head twisted in your hair, giving it an experimental tug; you felt her smile against your lips when you whined. You were pliable under her hands, your hips stuttering against her leg.
Ellie pulled away, pulling you back by your hair just far enough away for her to look at you; her eyes raked over your body with a hunger that set you nerves on fire, looking ready to devour you.
“God, look at you,” she breathed, raising her leg just slightly, the added pressure making your heart stop. Releasing your hair, her hand ran down your side, sliding across your chest. You moaned when her thumb grazed over your nipple, your hips stuttering; her other hand on your hip tightened, fingers digging into the bone. “So fucking wet for me and I've hardly even touched you.”
“Shit,” you cursed when Ellie bucked her hips, her thigh grinding into you. You tried to glare down at her even though you knew your own traitorous eyes betrayed your growing desperation. Her cocky smile didn’t quite land, its impact softened by the way she watched your lips in fascination, her pupils blown - you couldn’t see the green anymore. Your voice wasn’t nearly as hard as you wanted it to be, your want softening the words: “Fuck off, Els, don’t be a dick.”
“Am I being a dick?” she asked in mock offense, pouting up at you. “Good things come and all that shit, right?” Ever as she was teasing you, Ellie’s hand crept down your stomach, fingers warm against your hungry skin. She lowered her leg just enough to slide her hand between your thighs. You gasped, feeling lightning in your veins when those calloused fingers slid over your clit, already wet with want. Her eyes darkened, her lips parting. She slowly circled your clit, sending your hips jerking into her, and said, “Fuck, look at you. God, I finally get to see you like this….”
You struggled to speak past the breathy moans beginning to drip from your lips: “Finally? How - ah - fuck - how long - how long have you…?” You couldn’t think of a way to finish that sentence, your thoughts clouding over when Ellie dipped just the tips of her fingers briefly inside you, gathering your wetness.
“Like you said,” she murmured, finally pushing two fingers slowly inside you; even as she kept talking, she watched your face carefully, searching for any sign of discomfort, “a long fucking time.”
Your jaw went slack when she curled her fingers, gasping when she found that spot that made you see stars. She paused, as though giving you a moment to adjust, unaware of just how many times you had done this with your own fingers.
“Shit, Ellie,” you moaned, canting your hips down into her hand. She adjusted her arm, positioning herself so that the heel of her hand pressed to your clit, pulling another breathy moan from your lips. Her other hand was still on your hip; she pushed you back, guiding you to grind on her fingers. “Ah - fuck.”
She watched you carefully, fascinated by the way your eyes rolled back in your head, your brow furrowed; you felt her own wetness on your thigh again. Her voice was so fucking breathy when she said, “How long have you wanted this, baby?” She hummed; releasing your hip, she ran her hand up your side to knead at your tit, her fingers so careful against you. You groaned low in your throat when she flicked her thumb over your nipple. “How many times have you come thinking of me? Did you imagine my fingers inside you, angel? Did you moan my name?”
You couldn’t even think of a snarky response; you were too distracted by the way her fingers curled inside you as you fucked yourself against her. Her rough palm slid deliciously against your clit, grinding into her with a growing desperation that made your thighs shake. Your shoulders ached from holding yourself over her but it was only an afterthought as you felt a tight warmth building in your stomach. You leaned down just enough to kiss her, moaning into her mouth when words failed you.
“Fuck, look at you,” Ellie repeated, groaning when your hips stuttered. You were lightheaded, fucking yourself desperately on her fingers, grinding down against her palm and chasing that intoxicating warmth spreading inside. “So fucking pretty for me.”
She kissed you as you came, licking into your mouth and tasting herself on your tongue. You pressed your clit down into the heel of her hand, riding it out, feeling the way that warmth spread down to your fingers. Ellie broke away from the kiss to trail her lips down your neck, leaving wet kisses along your skin and saving every broken moan that was gasped right into her ear.
Ellie didn’t move as you came down, letting you ride out your high, tracing gentle circles down your side. You slumped against her, your arms giving out; your weight landing on her forced all the air from her lungs. She only laughed breathlessly.
It was several long moments before you were able to move again. Ellie ran her fingers through your hair as you gasped into her neck; she hummed absently and you could feel the vibration against your lips.
When you were able to, you slowly lifted yourself off of her, wincing slightly at the sudden emptiness. With gentle hands, she guided you back down to lay beside her; you curled up against her without waiting for her invitation, resting a hand on her bare chest so you could feel the steady pounding of her heart.
Ellie didn’t wait for invitation either before she wrapped her arms around you, pulling you closer; she was blissfully warm against the suddenly cold air. Something tugged pleasantly at your chest at the realization that you would no longer have to monitor your own movements so carefully - you could touch her, you realized, any time you wanted now. God, how were you going to ever stop now?
Without anything else to say, you sighed against her skin: “A long fucking time.”
Ellie hummed, giggling at your delayed answer. The fairy lights on her walls cast the room in a warm glow; with the hazy lights around you, you would almost believe this was a dream if Ellie wasn’t so solid and warm beneath your fingers. You traced the freckles across her chest, connecting constellations you had seen her chart before.
Her voice was so quiet in the small room when she asked, “What do we do now?”
You hummed, feeling sleep winning the war inside you. “We can figure that out tomorrow,” you said, pressing a kiss to her collarbone. Tilting your head, you leaned up just enough to kiss her, warm and deep and breathless, before moving away to meet her eyes. “Just don’t fucking run off again, okay?”
#ellie williams#ellie tlou#ellie williams smut#ellie williams x reader#ellie x reader#ellie x fem reader#lesbian smut#ellie x you#ellie the last of us#ellie williams tlou#tlou smut#tlou 2 x reader#sorry for the novel#hope u enjoyed#smash that like button idk
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Redesigned all of the Dandy world (+my take on the game)
”But Liam/deer didn’t you alr posted these-“
you didn’t see anything.
HEADCANONING TIME WWOOOOO
I like to think that ALMOST all of the toons just think they’re just playing a game of tag while collecting ichor like it’s a “capture the flag” thing. It’s in their blood (or ichor) to just be a bunch of childish and playful creatures, they are MADE for kids so it’s not really out of character of them to NOT think that twisteds are dangerous let alone kill them which cause them to see things differently (literally)
(still talking about this👆) If you start the game at first it’s all bright and colorful like something you would see out of a kid’s show, there’s happy music playing in the background all fun and games! Until you get hit by a twisted and lose a heart. Thats when the reality kicks in. Music stops as the colors slowly go back to the sad reality of an abandoned studio/daycare. These twisteds weren’t playing.. they were trying to kill you. This effect is irreversible even if you go back to full health. The shine in their eyes are gone. They aren’t laughing anymore, this isn’t funny. They’re scared.
(Note to self, each toon will have a traumatized look on their face after getting injured and will stay traumatized even after being healed+also applies to a toon when they witness a death of another toon)
I like to think that the twisted are like a “Failed” version of a toon, a toon that wasn’t the exact replica of itself so, it was locked away in the underground as it contorts into it’s biggest flaw(s) might design the twisteds if I feel like it.
If a toon witnessed another toon getting hit they’ll still be oblivious but concerned for their fellow friend
The twisteds prob growls and snarls due to their throats being filled with nothing but ichor, constantly leaking from their mouths as they try to kill you out of jealousy that YOU don’t get to be thrown away like a broken toy and instead cherished by children while they were called a mistake and now you’re going to experience the same pain they went through.
on a lighter note, the toons stole the clothes they’re wearing from the lost and found shortly after being abandoned and threw away their old clothes.
dandy needs those tapes so he doesn’t turn into a twisted. He wants to protect his friends from himself.
Ichor while being dangerous can be used to bring back a dead toon, only dandy knows this. Fortunately (or unfortunately) the toon doesn’t remember how they died after being revived
All toons are asexual. (Gets booed off the stage)
Do you think toons are desperate for interactions after being abandoned for god knows how long.
Astro, Vee and Shelly are the ones who don’t have the “fake reality” sight going on and knows that they’re actually in danger although for Shelly she’s sorta in denial (and ig Teagan and Rodger too? But the both of them just thinks that the twisteds aren’t really that dangerous and thought they wont kill their fellow toons)
might add more hcs soon but prob in later posts
Guys please ask for hcs for any toons you like please I’m begging on my knees I’LL GIVE YOU ANYTHING.
#fanart#dandy’s world#dandys world#art#vee dandys world#astro dandys world#dandy dandys world#dandys world pebble#pebble dandys world#dandys world boxten#dandys world razzle and dazzle#goob dandys world#rodger dandys world#scraps dandy’s world#dandys world toodles#dandys world shrimpo#dandys world poppy#brightney dandys world#dandys world shelly#tisha dandys world#teagan dandys world#sprout dandys world#cosmo dandys world#dandys world glisten#dandys world flutter#The pages of the diary(🦌📝)
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