#i like to write it down otherwise im like. i cannot remember a single thing I watched this year <3< /div> Explore tagged Tumblr posts

[jackryxn]

2023 Watchlist (live-action) ‼️

Movies: 

As Above, So Below (2014)

Narvik (2022)

Avatar: The Way of Water (2023)

Resident Evil: Welcome to Raccoon City (2021)

The Martian (2015)

The Outpost (2020)

13 Hours: The Secret Soldiers of Benghazi (2016)

Black Hawk Down (2001) 

Top Gun (1986)

The Little Mermaid (2023)

Barbie (2023)

First Man (2018)

Oppenheimer (2023)

Series:

Shetland [-S05] (2013-)

Tom Clancy’s Jack Ryan [-S03] (2018-)

The Stranger (2020) 

Shadow and Bone (2021-23)

Generation Kill (2008)

Criminal Minds [-S06] (2005-)

The Night Agent (2023)

The Musketeers (2016)

Burning Body (2023)

Deadwind [s01-02] (2018-2021)

Non-Fiction: 

American Manhunt: The Boston Marathon Bombing (2023)

Waco: American Apocalypse (2023)

Crime Scene: The Vanishing at the Cecil Hotel (2021)

Want to watch:

Bodies (2023)

[kinaesthetiqueer]

You've more or less single-handedly altered my entire perception of Nora as a character, and I mean that in the best way possible, making me enjoy her so much more every time I rewatch RWBY (which I gotta do again at some point, but that's neither here nor there)

However! This leads to my question :3 I noticed you had a few fics about her, and that she's also a very present character in your brain space, I kinda wanna know more about Satya Vaswani (which I now know her name is!!! Which is so cool!!!) and specifically your thoughts about her, what about her appeals to you, basically sharing as much as you want to!

I had a mild overwatch phase some years ago, so I know some Basic lore, but I always love learning and hearing about people's favorite characters :3

Oki thank you byeeee!~

aksnskajdhskanjs WONDERFUL QUESTION AND THANK YOU THIS TOOK DAYS TO WRITE BUT IT WAS NICE TO BE REASSURED THAT I DO STILL LOVE HER (AND HER GIRLFRIENDS, BY PROXY).

quick psa below for anyone who follows me for overwatch; otherwise, you can skip to the blue text & read more for sym gushing

im gonna preface this by saying my knowledge of overwatch ends in about mid to late 2019, which is right around the time i finally and miserably acknowledged that i could no longer play sym in the game because i could not adjust to sym 3.0. (for context, when blizz announced her 3.0 rework in 2018, i crawled under my desk and cried; there are pictures). while i also played rein and lucio, my real joy was playing sym and once i could no longer do that, i basically stopped playing. i'm not good at fps. there's a lot going on. i scream a lot. i cannot aim. overwatch remains my first and only fps. i just couldn't handle letting my friends down as a bad support-turned-dps as i cannot aim (even though they insisted i did not let them down) plus eventually a lot of other folks stopped playing, i got busy, blizzard continued to suck ass, etc. sym 3.0 was a personal death knell for my SI in overwatch

SO the last thing i read was the bastet short story and the last new chara i cared about was baptiste. i got soured on the fandom and the shipping base and crawled out of it into a perfectly happy ot3 isolation bubble. i say all this NOT to sound unhappy about this question, but to set up for the single boundary that i MUST enforce when it comes to overwatch:

i do not want to know anything about ovw post 2019!

this may sound harsh but i don't care about overwatch lore anymore!this is simply to prevent my brain from just absolutely self-imploding. i have a clear and complete outline for the take to the skies series and i only care about that series (and the demons/witch au) and a few other things that ive written; i do not want to corrupt that. i've heard whispers about sym lore updates and im simply not engaging with that. i don't need to know nor do i want to! thank you, good night! i'm content to willingly live in denial.

you see, my satya "symmetra" vaswani lives safe and sound in my brain. blizz can't touch her.

satya vaswani, also known as symmetra to her teammates and also her enemies, is a character near and dear to my heart! i knew nothing about her until i stumbled upon the fact that she was intentionally written as autistic. this was at a time in my life where i had recently discovered i was too, in a fun (not) series of events, and so i latched on immediately, not to mention when i started playing her, i found a niche and became a rather successful sym (which to me means being helpful, getting kills, STAYING ON THE FUCKING POINT, and not getting in the way). i don't remember what my hours ended up being on her but im pretty sure it was well over 100 and since the servers are gone??? i'll never know? im not downloading ovw 2 to find out. it's probably on my old blog. GAH. im not here to be be salty about blizz.

SATYA.

satya, much like nora, is a side[ish] character that i have taken every scrap of canon lore and extrapolated to the stratosphere. i acknowledge that i have surpassed canon and inserted my own, especially when it comes to her childhood.

that being said

here's canon:

After she was identified as one of the few capable of becoming a light-bending architech, young Satya Vaswani was plucked from extreme poverty and placed in the care of Vishkar's architech academy, never to return home. Isolated and lonely in her new life, Satya immersed herself in her education and training. She quickly grasped the applications of the technology and was one of the top students in her class. Satya approached hard-light manipulation differently than her peers, with their more procedural, mechanical constructions, instead weaving her constructs in the motions of the traditional dance of her homeland.

and then i, to recap practical ghosts to some extent, made it worse. she was singled out for a scholarship by the vishkar academies who intentionally sought out young kids with high compatibility with hard light tech. she has an older brother aditya and a younger brother krishna and her mom karishma. her father died when she was three; she is, at the time of pick up, eight.

she's taken away to the fledgling vishkar town of utopaea where she atends the prestigious vishkar dawn academy boarding school. fairly quickly she takes to HL. it just makes sense to her and she loves it! never mind that she's without her support net for the first time ever. higher up staff order her teachers to excuse her 'problematic' behaviour because they don't wan to damage the prodigy in the making. her mother fights to have satya come home regularly and succeeds in making sure she gets to visit. the higher up staff even court these wishes, hoping that karishma will see the good in vishkar's training and ABA therapy but satya's mom sees her daughter's personality changes and misery and the way she talks about her autism now, the bullying she receives from both adults and students, the way she only seems to focus on architecture. she doesn't like it one bit. and after four years of this back and forth fight between vishkar execs and karishma over the 'budding jewel' of vishkar, karishma finally finds another school closer to home and begins to make moves to take satya out of vishkar academy at the end of the school year.

in response, vishkar ensures that satya has no family left to go home to. they also make sure that not only it looks like an accident but a specific architectural failure that galvanizes satya's single track minded drive to make the world a better place in which no one ever loses their family to a building collapse again. she becomes a ward of vishkar through a series of legal dominos vishkar had in place; she's only twelve. she never finds out that vishkar is the one who killed her family (except for in this little riff i did on twitter that may or may not load). ALSO funny that i named it indomitable, bc i didn't know what rwby was when i wrote that XD. anyways i have all my tweets downloaded but it's not that important.

practical ghosts is a fun narrative because it's told completely outside of satya through documents about her (with the exception of three little chapters at the end, only one of which is from her POV) it's my fave of my satya vent fics. PG is in line with on the run from tomorrow and thursday's daughter's genre of 'no one asked me to go this deep with canon plausible backstory but i did anyway!'

satya NOW though. she comes to the watchpoint, essentially surrendering her vishkar insider info in return for asylum, and proceeds to have the meltdown of a lifetime the second no eyes are on her. she throws herself into discovering how much of her life is a lie (her first comic, where she begins wondering, inspires much of this, as it obvs happens before; while i have read her 2020 comic, i don't use it at all except to smile because it did not contradict my HCs or if it did i ignored it; i was made vaguely aware against my will that she has history with LW but again, i don't care)

she's sassy, she's deadpan, she's devoted, she's practical. she loves dance and cooking and all forms of gymnastics, skating, and ribbon arts. she'll take you to task for doing stupid shit and explain how you should fix it in the same breath. she's ruthless when it comes to making other's take care of themselves. she's harder on herself than anyone else dares to be. she likes birds. she likes making new ways to stim that aren't obvious. she has reclaimed her arm and her relationship with it. she's done an absolutely stellar job of reinventing herself in the wake of everything she's done and been involved with. she's taken all of vishkar's tech and made it better and more accessible. she prefers rebuilding missions more than combat ones. she loves drinking tea with ana. mei was her first human friend outside of vishkar; athena was her first friend at the watchpoint. her and lucio actually get along fine eventually. she is fearlessly devoted to those she loves. she's an early riser and early sleeper. she still cries sometimes when she allows herself to stim unhindered. she is a huge fucking demiace lesbian. she doesn't give a fuck about gender. she wears heels so she can discretely toe-walk and dresses because they're easy to move in. she can and will talk your ear off about her special interests but only if she loves you.

NONE OF THIS IS CANON

last i checked in canon, and based on voicelines, satya hasn't even LEFT vishkar. she's just doubting. she's still there under their thumb and i mean sure yeah that's fine but that was the great of overwatch HUGE sandbox, no plot, WOMEN, and oh my gods an autistic woman of color with the most wonderful voice and voice actor ever (hi ms bhimani i hope you're having a LOVELY day)

i took to sym because i wanted a more hopeful future for myself and i am awaaaaaaaare ive projected on her very hard but i gotta admit the fact that i turn 28 (her age) this year might have actually just made me grin like an idiot because oh my god i could NOT imagine that when i first got into overwatch in early 2017. jesus fuck i was twenty, i could barely see past my own nose. i REMEMBER tho, being like heeheehoohoo one day i'll be satya's age that'll be wild. complete hypothetical. ANYWAYS

i don't think im really answering the question here.

haven't even got to my favorite fuckin head canon. i SCREAAAAAAMED SO LOUD when i realized this. fuckiing rip to my friends bc i was in game and i was playing with a skin i had just unlocked and i noticed something incredible-

satya has a prosthetic left arm. she has two skins though where she looks more like she's wearing a school uniform. i think they're called architech and utopaea? but hey. hey. hey you know what she doesn't have in those skins?

her prosthetic.

SO. my second saddest and most favorite headcanon is that as an 18th birthday gift, when satya technically became an adult and thus could leave vishkar, vishkar offered her a choice. to quote 'nothing here to run from':

Just shy of her Academy graduation ceremony, an offer was made to officially cement her place in the Vishkar Corporation. “We only offer to the best and the brightest, Satya,” Sanjay had said, grasping her left hand in his right. “Wouldn’t you love to be the perfect architech, ready to change the world at a moment’s notice?” By the time she was eighteen, Symmetra only had room for perfection.

BECAUSE YEAH

i heavily headcanon vishkar to be just as bad as talon, since they are heavily intertwined. i would not put it past them.

so yeah, heavy heavy heavy disclaimer that i love satya 'symmetra' vaswani a normal amount but due to the inherent need to extrapolate a million things from a game that initially had three rubber bands and a paper clip worth of lore for her, i humbly recognize that the version of her that i love does only live in my head. and im okay with that!!!! but i love her canon self too, otherwise i would have never gone so feral about her to write over like 100k of her being loved, growing, living and learning!!!!!!!!!!!!!! gods i need to write her again.

also she has the best skins in the fucking gaaaaaaame she's so pretty and i am GAY

[dragmiire]

time for my current totk thoughts bcuz im like, halfway i think thru main story and got all the geogylph memories! BIG SPOILERS AHEAD.

i think there is SO MUCH missing and it is depressing! like. the memories aren't enough. what do you mean we're going from zelda being like 'im so saaad i don't know how to time magic :(' and then suddenly time magics a flying knife?? and then sonia DIES? it feels like there is an entirely different game going on with zelda's wacky time-travel hijinks that we're missing due to only seeing glimpses and it feels very empty. idk if they'll fill the gaps with dlc or if this was just an issue of them rushing a game that needed a few more years to cook or what.

i hate the imperialism. all i hear is 'hyrule is ok and good bcuz it is run by pure good-natured imperialists vs those EVIL brown imperialists from the desert who are trying to do the same thing but EVILER.' i went from trying to vibe with rauru to rapidly disliking him.

ganondorf has the personality of an evil piece of cardboard but he's also hot so i give him a pass.

zelda has the personality of a good piece of cardboard and i'll give her a pass only for depressing me by being a soulless dragon flying around.

i think there is something to say about how the gerudo are not actually part of the hylian kingdom. even though they're all like 'we stand with u imperialist hyrule we wuv u!!' there is a very strong distinction that they are not ruled by the hylian monarchy. like. ganondorf was evil and vile for pressing back against rauru and waging war and not allowing the gerudo to merge with hyrule, and yet the gerudo still chose not to become one with hyrule. they just seemed to foster positive relations while maintaining their own as a separate entity. but who knows! maybe the game will prove me wrong and i'll eat my hat in rage!

the sage cutscenes are bland and bad. once again, cannot tell if the choice of copying and pasting each cutscene was a result of bad writing or the game not being allowed to cook long enough.

the depths keep making me pee my pants and i hate them but like just in a personal i rly hate the dark kinda way.

honestly back to the sages but they're bland in general as well. they tried to recreate the champions of old without any of the personality and feeling of connection to them. i do not give a single heck or darn about these sages, they just sure do exist as a means of passing on a power to the current champs. i feel this just makes their existence soulless and that they were just designed to be tools of rauru/means of furthering the plot. very boring.

i've been kinda irritated that a lot of npcs don't remember you. key ones do, like story-quest npcs, but like characters i've saved countless times in botw are like 'who r u'. and then characters are still SO surprised link is the heroic swordsman when it seems like this news otherwise traveled very quickly. i swing rapidly from delighted that npcs remember me and irritated when they don't, making it feel like botw didn't exist.

speaking of botw not existing. i get its because they wanna focus on zonai/avoid bogging the game down with more assets, but the lack of sheikah/guardian tech is really irritating. it's like everybody forgot about it. you cannot tell me they magically purged ALL of hyrule of any remnants of the guardian tech. also i know it is deranged to say it but i lowkey miss the panic of being chased down by guardians. it added a spice to the overworld.

overall... i just think botw is the better game?? which is not surprising, its hard for a sequel to surpass its predecessor, but i think they focused too much on new gimmicks and once again neglected the story, which is what i RLY care about. so once again i'm more invested in completing my funny lil side missions and leaving dragon zelda to rot in the skies.

[consistantly-changing]

[Image descriptions in order: screenshots of tags left on the post. They say: #literally #i stopped posting bc no one engages with my fics at all #its not a pleasant feeling #i dont want to have to join fucking discord servers or some other forums just for the off chance that ppl might be discussing my fic #you have to leave comments on fics #or else what is the point]

[#how infuriating to know there are people saying nice things about you who won't say them "to" you]

[#i remember finding out once #that a group of mutual fandom acquaintances had an entire roleplay server based off one of my fics #meanwhile it was sitting at 50 hits 3 likes and 0 comments #then they got upset at me for shelving the fic like #what did you expect]

[#yeahhhhhhhh #every day my desire to write again is knocked down by shit like this]

[dude feed your writers and your artists #making art is lonely and we share it to find community]

[#ao3 #fandom #i struggle with the lack of comments so much #like i legit feel like theres no point in posting sometimes might as well just keep shit in the google docs]

[#my Non-Secret AO3 account's been updated recently too and there hasn't been much engagement #it kind of soured me on updating those stories for awhile]

[why is there this weird push to make fandom less accessible to OTHER FANS?]

[#writing #i get kudos nearly every day and it's lovely #but i get comments like #once every few months #people are reading but not leaving their thoughts #and ngl that kinda sucks]

[#How are writers supposed to know you like their work if they CANNOT see it??? #How are they supposes to stay motivated and write more if they cannot see how many people actually like it??? #I am writing 13k-15k chapters; do you know how LONG that takes??? How much time and effort??? #It's why I reblog the chapter index as much as I do; I NEED people to tell me if they like them #Otherwise it just feels like I'm posting my stuff on a brick wall that nobody is looking at #It's SO demotivating; to the point where I start to wonder if it's even worth continuing at times]

[#Brb literally crying at the very idea of how cheated I would feel if people did this for my fics]

[#(I keep discovering people that have-according to them- been gushing about my writing on discord) #(often I didn't even know these people existed because they never left me a comment) #(sometimes it's only months later through discord that I learn lots of people loved a scene that I thought totally flopped-) #(-because nobody ever once said anything about that scene in my comments.) #(if nobody says they liked it-I assume nobody liked it. please tell me if you like it.) #(you can tell your friends too but I'm gonna get a lot more out of it than they are.)]

[#yeah I got like six kudos the other day on a 150k fic from three years ago #and i was like ok clearly someone has shared this in their discord group and they've all read it and that's lovely! #they must have said really nice things about it for the whole group to presumably have talked about it a lot (it is 150k of fic) #wish a single one of them had said that in a comment instead of me having to just imagine the situation!]

[#fics literally need comments to survive like #yeah its for yourself and for the joy of creating #but its a STORY #with detail put into it and plot twists and things that i want to #im TELLING YOU a story #of course i want to see how the people im telling the story to think lol #PLEASE comment]

[#i tried to get back into writing fic #but the sheer lack of comments made me feel less motivated #kinda need feedback or i feel like my writing is getting lost into the Void #so i deleted the fic and gave up]

[#this #like my god why go to such lengths to NOT tell the author you liked their fic #this sort of thing leads to despair and to writers quitting #please let writers know you appreciate their work #please #why must we beg for crumbs]

[#yeah #I try to avoid being driven or encouraged by comments too much #no matter how much I deeply love and appreciate everyone who DOES take that time #because people are tired and busy #but that feeling of if I stopped 10000 people would take my place #that hit kinda hard today]

[#i had this experience #people were talking about my fic on a server i wasn't on #meanwhile i was having an existential crisis because no one was commenting on the fic itself #i was ready to abandon it until someone told me about the server #only a few years ago i could expect at least 20 comments on each chapter #now if i hit double digits that feels like a win #fic writing woes]

[#please do this #writing is hard #← prev tags #Ain't it #l see people rave about my stories on rec lists or see lovely comments in the bookmarks #You're already writing all that down #Why would you not tell ME #You know I am a human person right? #I publish these this for you to enjoy; I want to SHARE them with you]

[#sometimes i will get half a dozen kudos on the same fic in one day #(my fics are not popular so this is notable for me lol) #and it does make me wonder if the link just got posted in a group chat somewhere that i'm not part of #i did once get added to such a group chat and i was like... why didn't any of you comment?]

[#yeah I had dozens of docs on ff.net #ao3? 2 #what's the point of writing fanfiction when it can stay perfect in my head and I get the same level of engagement anyway #I posted to find people to talk about the stuff I liked #nobody wants to chill so I don't post anymore]

[#THIS #I'll randomly get an uptick of kudoses on an older fic and know someone shared it in a group chat #But no comments :/]

[#jfc that just makes me want to scream #hey kids guess what - if you create these little book clubs and exclude fic authors #you won't get any more fic #i can't tell you how much the comment count on my fics has gone down over the years #because this generation of fans think that kudos or inbox-squeeing or DMs is a substitute for an actual comment]

[I've been told by a reader "they love your fic in my server" and like oh... Okay, guess I'll never find out. Oh well.]

someone I follow on the bird app just announced they're starting a very exclusive private fic server because they and a bunch of other people want to talk about how much they love the fics they're reading, and as an author can I just say that a really great place to talk about a fic you love is in the comments for that fic

I understand that people are trying to create safe spaces, but as the number of comments that I get on my fics dwindles with each passing year, knowing these spaces exist where my fics are being discussed, places that I am excluded from, makes me want to write fic LESS

I mean I guess who cares, right, because if I stop writing, there's 10,000 other people that will continue...but if you participate in a fic "book club" server and you say nice things there about a fic you loved, maybe copy and paste that into a comment on AO3?

the only thing fanfic writers are asking for in return for hours of hard work is attention. please don't rob us of the one thing that we hope for when we hit "post"

[im-about-to-lose-it-i-am-done]

God knowing that life always goes on without you sucks. You want to be a part of the lives of the people you care about so bad but the moment you remember that they don’t need you you just slowly drift away because it’s better for them if you’re gone. But like it’s not but you know you deserve it you always deserve what happens to you you deserve everything everyone did to yoh you’re a fucking monster. But I’m not I’m just a kid and my brain won’t stop telling me that. I hate the world. I hate this life I’ve been given because all it does is hurt and take until I have nothing left to give. It’s like splaying your organs out for the world to see and watching people pick at them and steal them one by one for their own entertainment. It’s sickening.

Nobody needs me. Nobody would remember in a few months if I died right now, even if they say otherwise. I desperately want reassurance, but that’s impossible when I know that the voice is right. It’s the only thing that tells me the truth any more. Nobody needs you. Not a single soul needs you like you will need them. It’s better for them if you leave. You deserve to be alone. Of course you do. You always have. You’re a fool to think otherwise. Might write another Ultrakill vent fic about this one. My insecurities are so v2 coded. I could be left as a splatter of blood and an arm and nobody would weep. They would cry, but not a soul would truly mourn me. They’d do it because their brains make them but deep down they never cared. Nobody ever cared. I am equivalent to nothing. The world is beautiful, and yet I am the filth that stains its pristine image. I am nothing but a stain in this wonderful world that needs to be cleaned. Wiped away. Scrubbed until there is nothing left.

That’s how this should end. That’s how this always should’ve ended. Alone. Afraid. And dead. It’s the best outcome for something like me. So torn between human and puppet. When people finally stop playing puppeteer, your brain takes up the spot. Making you dance and dance and no matter how much you want to be free. You are never free. You cannot cut your own strings. You are a prisoner to this life. You’re a child. You’re a human being. You are fitlh. You are useless. Which one is it? I don’t understand.

Why did they do this to me? If there is a god why would he hurt me like this again and again? There’s no use in trying to pray to something to save you when you are clearly unnecessary and a nuisance to the world. I should be forgotten. I just wish I could leave behind a better legacy.

Why am I talking like im going to die? I don’t want to kill myself. I just want to rot. Rot away until the worms get their meal and the flowers grow around a skeleton and an animal can take the bones away. That would be a beautiful death. Crimson red staining nature. Painting the world a beautiful red as my final message. My last cry, screaming that I was here and I will not take this. The earth can have me but no matter how temporary my own body will forever stain this wretched world red. Red like the pain and anger I’ve endured. Red like the color of me. Red like none other. And then I’d get to be free.

I don’t want to die. But it’s a fun thing to imagine, wouldn’t you agree?

Who am I kidding. Nobody will see this. I am simply screaming to the void. Begging for mercy that will not come.

I wish I could rest.

[oh-for-fic-sake]

It is ok I understand but is it ok if I write it for my own enjoyment then and if one of my brother's publish it as an act of revenge if I pulled a prank on one of them then I will take it down immediately and also I understand on how it will take ages for the next part and I have an idea for when reader goes into labour if it will help like she was hosting a little party for the handmaid's then when she was talking with some of them her water breaks and it turns out that Henry is at work when he gets a call if he is at a meeting then he leaves and tells them why and it is Aunt Lydia and the handmaid's who help reader give birth but it is June and Janine who are holding her hands and maybe as an act of kindness maybe it is y/n who arranges her visit with Hannah but it goes wrong like in the series then perhaps reader arranges for Mr and Mrs Putnam to go away for the weekend and looks after Angela and invites Janine over secretly for a visit with her baby then maybe reader gets pregnant again twins again triplets or maybe just 1 baby it is ok if you have written something for this but I would at least like to help you with anything so just DM me if you have writters block as I am doing nothing atm but studying for 3 exams music on the 9th of may English on the 12th and History on the 20th I have them sorted but like I said just ask me for help if you want or need to and remember to take some breaks from things or maybe if you need inspiration try watching the series again then read the testament which is the follow up book which I love btw I highly recommend and look at influencial women in history and I hope you have a nice day

While i cannot control you writing for your personal enjoyment i can say without a doubt that i would be livid if you end up posting (accidental or otherwise) a fic that uses the concepts, characters and ideas i have taken a considerable amount of time to come up with especially after asking me and being told politley i do not wish for you to do that. The beginning of this ask is very sketchy to me as you seem to already have an excuse for using and posting something i have specifically asked you not to.

As for your ideas for the story, i will not be using them. I have a very intricate story board and have every single chapter meticulously planned out to coincide with the events of the show and book.

Writers in general dont mind being given headcannon's, prompts and ideas for their stories- we normally welcome it but this seems a little excessive.

I understand you most likely have many ideas of your own but to this extent it seems quite rude. Im sure you are trying to help but it is actually hindering, it feels like i am being pressured into writing and posting the next chapter. Otherwise something might be accidentally posted on wattpad?

[imanes]

Hi imane! I hope all is well <3 i wanted to ask if you read anything by haruki? Ngl i feel like a fraud sometimes when i know i shouldnt lol. I like reading! I do, but sometimes i dont read at all and i read random things? Like if someone were to ask me oh who do you like or what do you read? I would go mute 😭 like idk? I read whatever. But then i see ppl talk in depth about what they read and im like. I literally forget what i read the moment im done w it. I struggle w my memory tbh i have the same w tv shows and such, i can tell you it was good but i cannot tell you what it was about cause I forgot jwjddkdk sigh. But haruki has been interesting me and kafka too but like. It seems too difficult for me. Idk if any of this makes sense but thanks if you read it all 😭♥️ nonetheless i love reading about your recommendations on here and i admire your brain and intelligence sm!!!!

hey babe! if by haruki u mean haruki murakami i gave his fiction a fair shot and put down every single book i picked without completing it bc it was making me both angry AND bored which in itself is quite a feat. but if it intrigues you why not! i detest his writing but so many ppl adore him so i've made my peace with the fact that my opinion is definitely in the majority and at the end of the day it's fun to have different opinions bc otherwise how do we have interesting conversations? :)

to touch upon another topic of ur message i don't think that to be a "reader" u have to absolutely read this or that book, i think it's counterproductive and counterintuitive. only posers think u absolutely HAVE to read specific books to be "respectable" as a reader and like noah fence to people who identify as that kind of book snob but the act of reading makes you a reader nothing more nothing less and making their whole (pretentious) personality about "reading The Books™ that matter" is so unappealing. so u go ahead and read whatever tickles your fancy atm babe! i think selecting books at random is charming and proves that u have a very curious and open mind. my brother once bought this book that was like "100 books u should read in ur lifetime" and i find the intention behind that kind of list so disingenuous akfjlgk it can be a good starting point to see what grabs ur attention but trying to complete the list just for the sake of it? i don't get it. also if smt seems difficult u don't have to read it now, like before this year if someone asked me if i wanted to read a russian classic i'd be like "i don't have the brain capacity" and i legit didn't but now i trust myself more to appreciate these books for what they are but it took me time to build the right frame of mind for them. picking a book at the right TIME is super important imo, it can change the whole experience. so if kafka sounds appealing to u i think u should go for it, and if after 50 pages u don't feel comfortable continuing there's no shame in putting the book down.

also about remembering things i am literally in the same boat as u like unless it's about books that i spoke at length while reading them i don't remember that much about them and i'm actually terrible at naming favourites on the spot akjdkflg for a while i was relying on my goodreads shelves to provide a proper answer as to what my fave books are and after repeating the list so many times some of them actually clung to my mind but listen we already have a lot of thoughts to tackle our minds are already full a list of books is very trivial!

thank u for ur message and ur kind words babe i hope ur literary path is filled with amazing books that speak to u, even if just for a little while <3

[ushiwakaout]

parings: Ushijima x reader , Iwaizumi x reader and Sakusa x reader 

warnings: NSFW (under the black lines) daddy kink w hajime, Timeskip Haikyuu. language? jealousy? fannon sakusa? anal w sakusa. bad grammar :)

a/n: as a compressed woman myself, i don’t think there is enough compressed content out there, or maybe i haven’t found any. 

Ushijima Wakatoshi

this man LOVES you, you cannot put it into words

let’s start with being in public 

he isn’t touchy feely with you in public, never. he think it looks bad and does’t wanna make you uncomfy

does hold your hand... kind of. You def. have smaller hands than he does so you grab his pinky most of the time, he thinks its really damn cute.

leaned down to kiss your forehead.

if you’re ever out to go eat at like a stand or sum, he sits down and he’s basically looking at you or at your chest depending on the chair.

ONLY PDA THING HE WILL DO ONCE IN A WHILE IS LEAN HIS HEAD ON YOUR CHEST AND PUT HIS HANDS ON YOUR BUTT IF HES FEELING ADVENTUROUS.

i know id love this- HIM LOOKING UP AT YOU AND ASKING FOR PERMISSION TO LIKE CARESS YOUR LOVE HANDLES OR HIPS BC UR SO THICC AND HE FUCKING LOVES EVERY SINGLE INCH *sigh* im touch starved

When it comes to being at home, he’s legit the most handsiest airhead in the freaking world

He could be laying on the couch, he makes you sit on his lap and your like “mmm, no” but he reminds you that he’s legit full nelsoned your ass while standing in front of a mirror and you like “..... y-you don’t need to remind me!!!” so you sit on his lap

y’all start talking and he’s like really distracted with you chest, doesn’t matter the size he just want his hand on your boobs.

very touchy man in private, this man was touch starved until you came in and now he can get enough.

“Toshi? What are you doing?”

Hes caressing your boobies and he just smiles like the big dumb idiot he is and whispers something about being in love with your chest and he sits up a lil and just shoves his face in ur tits, like not even in a sexual way.

let’s also add a lil nsfw in this fluff

when you guys first did the deed you hesitated in taking of your clothes, you did not want him to see you naked, not yet at least. he didn’t mind at, but he made you wear his shirt.

you kissed him and changed in the bathroom and when you came out wearing his shirt like a dress, he got embarrassingly hard 

that day he realized that his favorite position w you (only when you wear his shirts) is doggy style bc he’d ruin all his shirts and ball up the hem of it to pull you so deep into his cock and holy shit he’s never felt so much euphoria

he’s got you screaming his name, drooling over the bed sheets, covering his cock with your orgasm. god he loves the sight of your body giving out due to multiple orgasms.

also loves eating you out, wow

he’s told you that he’d be happy if he suffocated in-between your thighs

you had to let out a giggle but like it turned into a moan

cocky bastard

loves leaving marks on you, there’s so much skin to cover, and he wants to do it all.

Iwaizumi Hajime

I 100% believe that this boys mother is compressed as well and you cannot tell me otherwise

loves public pda especially at night

has to be touching you in some way shape or form

either holds your hand, your waist or your ass, just depends how you’re feeling and how he’s feeling

kisses your hand or the crown on your head

say if your ever standing in line and your in front of him, he will lean his head down and put his chin on top of your head

slaps your ass when he think no one is looking BUT SOMEONE IS ALWAYS LOOKING and he just makes you really embarrassed

i think he’s definitely an ass guy so he pinches your butt a lot

when he went to Irvine in Cali, he just had to take you with him, he couldn’t just leave his baby all alone without him.

you guys had a free day so y’all went to laguna beach, lucky it wasn’t as packed as it usually was or so you heard

at this point iwaizumi has given you enough confidence to wear a two piece, (obviously high waisted)  

half the time at the beach you felt like he wanted to bark at the guys who stared at your ass while you sun bathed.

he’d bother you a lot for kisses and low key make out sessions

and let me tell you when he pulled away from the kiss and saw how plum and fucking red your lips where, he was hard, he’s never wanted you to wrap you mouth around his cock so bad

he calmed down for a bit, went into the water and cooled down, while you still laid on you belly enjoying the sun

at some point he was the one sunbathing and you where in the water

and now he believes that he picked the wrong pair of short to wear bc he got hard while watching you walk back to your spot, water just dripping down every curve and in every crook of your body

“We’re going back to the hotel now.”

you don’t complain, it’s not like you didn’t fucking notice how hard his cock was, it made your mouth drool

god getting to the hotel, he wasted no time at all what so ever.

kissed you all around, you skin tasted salty and fresh on his tongue

you broke the kiss to tell him that you guys should probably get into the shower or sand will be everywhere. 

SHOWER SEX

Hajime has a love/hate relationship with shower sex but today he didn’t care, he just pounded into your pussy like it was the last time he’d ever feel you

He loves pulling your body, you back close this his chest while he’s ramming into you, whispering the naughtiest things in your ears.

it either “you’re so tight, fuck, you’re twitching. Does it feel that good, hm? You’re pussy wrapped around my cock, taking me in so well. You love this don’t you, filthy little thing you are.”

he also likes teasing you, god he loves just holding your hips just to fuck you so slowly, edging you. “Are you gonna be a good girl and cum on my cock? You’re gonna be daddy’s good girl and cum all over my cock, right?” 

he’s such an asshole, i need to stop writing bc i legit wont stop. i love hajime so much omfg

Sakusa Kiyoomi

Oh boy Sakusa is def hard to write about, but i love him so ill do it

I think is he dated a compressed reader, he’d def tease them about their height, never their weight

Although he’s always been iffy about touching, there’s just something about you

he always has to be touching you somehow

his teammates at MSBY are really surprised to figure out that he has an S/O and that he lives and breathes the same air as their Oomi

They are really surprised when you come one day after practice and he doesn’t immediately go to the showers, go goes straight to kiss you just to say a quick hello and then he rushes into the shower. 

Atsumu’s like, “how you do dat?” you shrug it off bc you have no idea either bc ever since you’ve started dating he gets a lot more comfortable with you

his teammates love you by the way especially bokuto and hinata (ima say u used to be karasunos co manager w yachi)

thicc boys and girls hang together

anytime bokuto tries hugging you, you’re ready to accept him with open arms but Oomi is just like NO. BIG NO

Pouty boy sakusa doesn’t want bo accidentally feeling you up bc thats his job

Obviously atsumu is the comic meme where it’s like “are you sakusa’s new girlfriend! Dude! He told me you were hot but i didn’t believe him, bc like have you seen him? out of his league. Like, btw, fuck him, dude. Lets elope- I AIN’T DOIN NOTHIN!”  atsumu thinks you’re hot always flirts w/ you bc he low key has a thing for thicc girls (probably gonna write something about that bc i know for a fact people believe that he’d call a big girl “pig” but i think he’d be the type of asshole to hide the fact that he’s dating you bc he’s called people pigs and what not but during his time at MSBY bokuto def. rubbed of on him.

atsumu high key doesn’t remember you but YOU DEF REMEMBER HIM

you bumped into him while refilling waters and he’s like “watch it pig”

sakusa heard what you said and atsumus like “oh shit....”

you can’t tell me sakusa did not grad his usual cute scarf and try to suffocate him with it bc he insulted his s/o before he was their s/o

“we barely knew each other then stop trying to kill him Oomi!”

high key sakusa saw you that day and was like wow.

you can out of the bathroom with ur cute hand towel and hand sanitizer, you were low key sick but didn’t wanna put anyone at risk so u had a mask on too

you caught his looking and you just waved, you don’t really remember that day but he def does bc he fell i love with u then and there

his cousin had to drag him away from following you down the hall and ask what was you cleaning regimen bc he knew id freak u out a lil but it really wouldn’t have.

sukusa is only public handsy if he’s tipsy or when he’s at home w you and the three boys (atsumu, bokuto and hinata) he says he hates them but he doesn’t and you know that bc he wouldn’t let them into their house if he did

they WILL NOT LEAVE IF THE MISS THE TRAIN OR ARE TOO DRUNK TO WALK YOU FORCE OOMI TO LET THEM SLEEP OVER

You’re like covering them with blankets any everything and lightly waking them up to put a pillow under their head, hinata low key starts crying bc he says you’re so sweet and that oomi should be feel so lucky that he’s got someone like you

okay hinata almost makes you cry but u like just boop his nose and giggle it off 

while you’re covering up atsumu, he starts flirting with you and u just laugh but tell me why sakusa will come behind you and just wrap his arms around you, puts his chin on your shoulder and glares at him

basically saying “leave my woman alone.” 

atsumu is high key (even if sakusa doesnt realize but you do) enticing sakusa so you can get a good fuck tonight bc he feels a lil bad for intruding.

TELL ME WHY IT WORKS THO

Sakusa will like drag you to bed, tease you. tie your hand behind your back so you can’t touch him and all you can do is watch him strip for you

god his body is sculpted by Himeros himself because his body is so damn sexy 

after hes down to his boxers he covers your eyes with a cloth and he gives you a good face fucking,

you cannot tell me that he doesn’t get so fucking hard after taking off the cloth and seeing how red a watery your eyes are

also this motherfucker is so dirty in bed i’m sorry (cannon him will not touch u tho like mmm sakusa cannon is a pillow prince, its still hot, def will write about it soon)

he would lick up you salty tears, and kiss your plump lips after he made you swallow his cum

he fucks you in front of the mirror that day but not on the bed

he makes you lean into your vanity so you can see up close how much of a drooling and crying mess me make you

you’re gipping onto the vanity and you’re on your fucking tippy toes, you’re twitching and so close to breaking the fucking vanity bc this isn’t your first orgasm, its probably the third or fourth

he’s covering your mouth with one hand and the other on your hip for grip as he pounds you

he might stick a finger or two in your mouth 

OH GOD I JUST THOUGHT- I JUST THOUGHT OF HIM LIKE spreading your ass too see how much you’ve cummed on his cock and he get’s the sudden urge to put this thumb in you ass, so he just runs his thumb around and it surprises you but he sees how you just tightened around his cock

he gives you a cocky look and just leans into your ear AND WHISPERS SO MANY DIRTY FUCKING THINGS WHILE NIBBLING AND LICKING YOUR EAR

“You’re such a dirty whore baby, I haven’t even put it in and you just tightened around me so good. I think- god you feel so tight... I think you might just cum from slipping my thumb into that cute ass of yours”

FILTHY , SAKUSA IS A FILTHY WHORE AND ITS FUCKING HOT

a/n: i wrote too much for sakusa when i was like wtf am i gonna write AND I ENDED UP WRITING THE MOST FOR HIM JFSIBFBSDFSKFHS IM NOT SURPRISED do i smell favoritism? yes. i’m not ashamed. 

[cattles-bians]

exes au part 11

post directory

obsetress: i'm about to fully fall asleep but i have been thinking about exes au danvi and like the isabel of it all and dani dating a single mom and how just like

obsetress: vi is so protective of isabel and as much as she loves dani like

obsetress: she took SO LONG before introducing her and then like

obsetress: when they broke up dani left and dani wasnt in isabels life anymore and dani was so good for isabel and viola just feels so fuckin shitty and blames herself and

obsetress: but i'm also thinkin bout soft fluffy stuff too like how much dani loves isabel and how much vi loves watching isabel w dani and

em: hey hannah what the fuck

obsetress: isabel has a nightmare one night and goes to her mom's room and dani's there too and she just curls up between them

em: do you think when they finally reconnected dani was like hey um. does isabel remember me. would it be weird if

obsetress: FUCK

obsetress: this absolutely happens

em: viola is VERY apprehensive at first

obsetress: god yeah esp after getting so hurt by it but

obsetress: viola sure cannot say no to dani!

em: i love some dani with kids tho

em: maybe too soft but do u think for at least a couple years dani would like. send isabel a bday card

em: like dead air otherwise

em: hmm idk i am chewing that one over more

obsetress: god it's hard i think dani wants to but she doesn't

obsetress: i could see dani writing them and holding onto them

em: oh that’s even worse

obsetress: even tho she really doesnt think she'll ever talk to vi again

em: what a soft and depressing thought. thank u. i resent u.

obsetress: yeah it hurts!

obsetress: but then she does! and she gives them all to isabel when she's older maybe

em: hold on i’m gonna bawl

em: sometimes my parents will be like um. do u remember this person and i’m like uh i don’t remember people i worked w two years ago let alone

em: but i think isabel does

em: i will be thinking about this all afternoon bestie have a wonderful slumber

[em note: em yells in hannahs DMs while she's asleep dot png]

em: no um. mate im still furious about the isabel of it all wtf

em: thinking about um. like ok i dont wanna use isabel as a prop but this is certainly one of those times where

em: violas been hurt before and viola's hurt other people before because she's deeply troubled and i feel like that would be one of the first times she sorta. sure she licks her wounds and feels miserable for herself but its also like uh

em: really sobering to realise This Hurts Isabel Too

em: because yknow violas very gatekeep gaslight girlboss i think shes got a strong enough sense of self that nothing really shakes that. maybe even to a deluded degree. i dont think she goes to therapy because shes like wow im fucked up i gotta get help, she's more like

em: shes really driven by her love for isabel!! gestures WILDLY

em: realised this is an au where parents get therapy and dont pass their traumas onto their kids and i want OFF this WILD RIDE im so tired of discovering things about myself through the realm of fiction

obsetress: yeah same i kept thinking about it too alfkadlsfkjdasf

obsetress: i want to reply to every single line of the isabel thing but i'm not gonna do that so let me just say: YEAH

obsetress: like isabel is her cornerstone full stop everything comes down to isabel

em: dani's probably so nervous reconnecting w isabel again. absolutely spinning her lil wheels

em: they set up a lil date and time and dani's doing her gay nervous babble abt if isabel even remembers her or god forbid resents her n jamies like...

em: im pursing my lips as i draw a line on the whiteboard between jamie's whole childhood and isabels and shaking my head Goddamn It

em: jamie lets dani babble it out n pauses and reflects on what she's saying n then jamie's like. the fact ur nervous means u care. n kids are v good at picking up when ppl care. you'll be alright.

obsetress: god yeah this bit i can just. hear it

obsetress: it's so visceral

---

em: viola

obsetress: god my favorite taurus hedonist

[em note: hannah yells in em's DMs while em is asleep dot png]

obsetress: god fuck what was i thinking about isabel this morning like

obsetress: that's what i get for daydreamin between snoozes and not writing it down alas

obsetress: but just like how excited isabel is to see dani again when she does and also like, isabel and rebecca

obsetress: then i started thinking about

obsetress: rebecca and vi getting married and vi's always like i'm not gonna get married again it's bullshit and rebecca's like it's not for me but then they just

obsetress: like they live together and they share everything and rebecca looks out for isabel just as much and they get to a point and it's like

obsetress: oh. oh

obsetress: like they're both like it's the logical thing to do. it's logical and it's safe and we should have this extra layer of protection but also it's like

obsetress: they find themselves more and more excited a lil you know? and just thinking about how isabel's there and how excited isabel is and

obsetress: but god yeah what i was thinking about this morning like. one day vi has to tell isabel dani's not gonna be coming around anymore and like

obsetress: isabel doesn't really understand and she's so sad and then vi feels even shittier

obsetress: and she's like "we'll be okay. it's you and me, remember? moving mountains"

obsetress: "you me us, right?"

obsetress: the first time rebecca meets her she brings her a book as a gift and is like "this was one of my favorites" and

obsetress: OH I REMEMBERED

obsetress: so like when dani sees isabel again finally (and yknow as nervous as dani was vi was even more on edge because it's so inconsistent and is she gonna understand yknow? and the two of them just spiral––which is also another thing about the two of them in a relationship! i think they push each other down spirals)

obsetress: jamie's there too and dani's like "this is... this is, uh, jamie" and it's like you said jamie isabel parallels and so jamie's like a lil tender

obsetress: spoiler: isabel and jamie end up bonding the most

obsetress: jamie's like running around with isabel on her shoulders and then showing her all these plants and taking her to gardens and

obsetress: another tentative jamie vi alliance

em: isabel mikey hangout When

obsetress: isabel mikey hangout!

obsetress: they're hanging with isabel and she and jamie have a very spirited discussion where isabel's like "i wanna be a princess" and dani's like "why not a knight?" and jamie's like "why not opt out of the feudalistic hierarchy entirely and ditch the kingdom for the high seas?" and convinces isabel to go full pirate

obsetress: and then isabel kinda passes out with her head in jamie's lap and jamie's just kinda idly playing with her hair (vi is already like "am i... attracted to jamie in this moment?")

obsetress: and jamie's like "y'know, i should bring mikey round next time isabel's here" and viola's like "......who?" and jamie's like "my little brother? mikey?" and viola's like "right.... right"

obsetress: cut to later, when dani and jamie have retired to vi and becca's guest room: "since when does jamie have a little brother?" "she always has, babe"

em: kinda obsessed w like. violas love for isabel means her wires get crossed when the surly gardener is Good With Kids

obsetress: yeah

obsetress: mikey and isabel immediately hit it off i think

obsetress: a bit of an odd couple because i think isabel is definitely, like, her mother's daughter and mikey is............. mikey

obsetress: but i think they meet in the middle and help each other grow and play pirates together

em: viola is like. of course mikey and isabel will get along. isabel is wonderful. but jamie is quietly Sweating about the whole thing

em: so damvibecca are having their afternoon tea and their little cakes and jamie is Quietly sweating and she’s like ‘quiet is good, right? like they’re not tryna k-‘ and then there’s the sound of two 8 year olds (idk how old they are tbh) YELLING as they chase each other down the hall w wrapping paper tubes

obsetress: nervous babbling dani x quietly sweating jamie, an otp

em: isabel has gotten into the make up n given them both black eyes n scars and moustaches n everyone’s like oh no how’s viola gonna feel about this but viola is DELIGHTED

obsetress: dani's like "chill you all she's gonna––" and then viola is getting up and asking them to do her face too

em: made a parrot outta a sock and newspaper

obsetress: viola playing pirates w isabel and mikey

em: kids w their endless creativity n absolute disregard for personal property is truly a thing of dreams

obsetress: mikey gives her a paper tube and she disarms isabel, takes hers, and offers it very seriously to jamie

em: cuteeee

obsetress: rebecca's giving dani a look and dani is completely unfazed and reaching for another tea cake

em: absolutely unflappable dani clayton

em: dani and rebecca sharing a Look like hey have you ever seen her this gleeful

obsetress: there is something very tasty about jamie taylor having a direct hand in making viola so gleeful

em: takes a village!

obsetress: when viola's two big loves are sitting five feet away from them both

em: everyone changes everyone for the better

em: fucken soft ass chat over here

obsetress: everyone changes everyone for the better

obsetress: soft as hell

em: thesis statement everyone likes each other so much (jamie pretends she doesn’t)

obsetress: (jamie pretends she doesn't) (jamie might like everyone the most)

obsetress: viola registers mikey for isabel's school n pays full tuition

em: oh my god

obsetress: jamie is horrified and refuses to accept it and viola waves a hand and is like "too late, deposit's non-refundable"

em: (they carpool)

obsetress: PLEASE

obsetress: oh god and like

obsetress: flora and miles go there too

obsetress: full circle complete

em: broke: highschool au woke: guardians of primary schoolers au

obsetress: dani jamie in bed jamie's like "you don't...... think it's weird?" "hmm?" "mikey going to.... school with our boss' kids?" "why would that be weird" "i dunno" "he also goes to school with my ex's kid" "he's best friends with your ex's kid" "and that's not weird, is it?" (grumbles) "not anymore" "so why would this be?"

em: jamie’s ribbing mikey for his silly tie and straw hat but she teaches him how to tie a tie and also she keeps crying for some reason???

obsetress: oh fuck

em: mikey: can’t i just get a fake tie >:/

jamie: no because when u have a real tie you can leave it untied a little as an act of rebellion

obsetress: god it's jamie crying for me

em: i love that big baby

obsetress: so much!

em: jamies like idk what’s gotten into me i never cry n danis like. raises one eye brow and mentally checks off all the times jamie has absolutely bawled watching a movie

em: not even a sad movie

em: dani plays along

em: maybe ur getting soft in ur old age jamie

obsetress: jamie i cry three four times a day five if i'm being honest taylor

em: thinking about their weekly weekend lunch w damvibecca and hannah and owen and miles and flora and

obsetress: dfjsldkfjslfslfj

obsetress: god big found family

obsetress: you know viola doesn't like

obsetress: dani and jamie respectfully toe around whatever the fuck owen and hannah have going on but viola just does not suffer it. she's so blunt to them

em: big viola grin and all ‘owen, hannah, i assume you will be each other’s dates?’ (owen chokes on his tiny egg sandwich)

em: hannah grose is serene and unreadable as she dabs a bit off yolk off owens moustache

em: maybe even a bit pleased

obsetress: everyone is always so tense when viola and hannah get together because neither of them take shit yknow

obsetress: and everyone's like "which way is this gonna go"

em: god. peak snarky broads

obsetress: but usually they end up good. two apex predators where one is a lil vicious but the other is so confident in its status that it just chills

em: they have the Best gossip

obsetress: would love to sit in and listen as they drink tea and gossip tbh

em: viola presses owen on hannah and he goes red and viola presses hannah on owen and she does a little wouldnt-you-like-to-know into her tea

em: viola nee willoughby and hannah grose friendship is. truly something i never knew i needed until now

em: they’re both just that lil bit older than the rest of the gang too

obsetress: an important coalition

obsetress: hannah grose! hannah looking out for rebecca and that's the couple times she gets a lil testy w vi

obsetress: mikey and isabel besties but flora and mikey get along really well and isabel and miles do too i think

em: the sheer chaos of a taylor-lloyd-windgrave story time

obsetress: LDKFjKLSDJF HELP

obsetress: taylor lloyd wingrave story time

obsetress: jamie suddenly very invested in story time

obsetress: dani's like "i know this is the first time you've actually cared about story time, babe, so let me give you some pointers"

em: i was just in my head thinking fondly about like. jamie is a drop out and plays a lil dumb sometimes for fun but also prolly reads a lot especially to mikey and now i’m like. wait i’m talking to Ms Floras Two Moms herself

em: idk if i had that headcanon before i read she taught me a lesson alright but yknow what! doesn’t matter it’s a beautiful one

obsetress: thank youuuu i love it a lot

obsetress: jamie big reader is generally one of my fave headcanons tbh i'm glad it seems to be widely accepted. can't even explain why it's just nice

em: sometimes i will talk 2 ppl about my passionate drop out jamie taylor belief n then they’re like but she’s smart (it’s only happened a couple times hahsj) and i’m like these aren’t mutually exclusive!! this is my very biased experience but my friends who do manual labor for a living seem to read so much more than my friends who don’t

em: your brain wants to chew over things while the hands are workin i reckon

obsetress: yes yes yes yes yes

obsetress: i think that's also like (sighs heavily)

obsetress: symptomatic of hegemonic perceptions of the working class

em: i love when u sigh heavily it’s always a fun take

obsetress: i think jamie is v clever and reflective and like if there's one thing i've learned getting older it's

obsetress: smart doesn't matter i think the most insightful most thoughtful people are the most reflective ones

obsetress: like none of it fuckin matters just be a nice person

[movieguy50]

Hey everyone,

The subject of this week's blog and yes I know I'm two days late but believe me this is going to be well worth it especially to the men out there here on Tumblr the ones that are single let me ask you a question have you been talking to women lately that seem a little peculiar to you they say they miss you they love you all this and that and you've only talk to them like once or twice you ask for their phone number they avoid it completely or they just make a big excuse why they can't give it to you asked to go meet them they don't that they say okay fine come you know you give an address and then you completely gets stood up because they just don't show this is an MO or otherwise known as a method of operation for these women sometimes it even as much as the first conversation or the third they will start telling you start giving you a sob story like I'm having to come out here from another country or I'm having to move to this state because I'm having to take care of sick relatives or they don't have no food or anything like that and if they want to meet if you want to meet them you have to give them gas money and no that's part of the scam then they start asking for things like gift cards $20 $40 $100 gift cards some drnominations don't even exist on some of the gift cards Google Play and steam gift cards are the most common if you have fallen prey to these women and I have twice and I'm glad I did because that was money well spent because I got to learn all kinds of shit from these people and then I'm giving you all that I have right now here are some of the red flags that show up during these conversations:

1. Their language is all wrong they'll say things like instead of saying like what did you have for breakfast to say did you take breakfast or they'll say something to the fact of their grammar being so messed up you have to like think about it before you understand what the're trying to tell you some of these women are coming from Russia some of them are from Africa some of them are from Mexico and they are all here in the United States typically in the states of the Northeast New York New Jersey there are some out west in California there are a few here in Texas and there are some just scattered everywhere.

2. They start telling you they need food but they need you to get them a $40 $50 or $100 or whatever it is gift card most commonly known as Google play or Steam do not do it because what they're doing is is they're taking the cards and selling them on the black market or on these websites that operate and they are turning in for money they're getting less than what they're supposed to get so that's why you have to give more to cover what they're not getting

3. They start asking you questions like your bank account they want you logging information do not give it to them their social security number they want to verify you through ID me id.me is legit so that would be fine except the safer way for you to do it is go ahead and go on id.me and do your own verification that way you don't have to give them nothing the less information they have on you the more likely they're going to just pass you up.

4. They ask you who you're with your cell phone number is and who your mobile carrier is this is to put you in on dating sites and for them to subscribe you to advertising that they get money for okay this is a different type of identity theft ring it is identity theft to a point but they're not using the information necessarily against you they're not even really taking a lot of money out of people's bank accounts they're only taking money out of the bank accounts that they can't get any money other ways so that's why I said do not give them anything.

5. Do not confront them either because they will always deny that they are scamming you they do that so that way they can bring you in closer to them so they can get your trust.

6. When you ask where they work and stuff besides are the probably going to tell you there they either don't have a job or it's some kind of job that's actually ridiculous for them to have they're not good liars folks they really are not you just got to learn this read between the lines with these people and like I said the biggest clue right there is the language you know things that should be plural or not plural things that are misspelled or misspelled badly the wording is confusing and I think I already said this once.

7. Always remember guys if it is too good to be true it probably is.

8. If they ask for your bank account information for the purpose of depositing money they will deposit money into your account but then they will take it and more if they tell you you can spend some of it do not touch it because that's how they get people just don't touch it call your bank tell them what's going on they will close your account and they will inevitably beginning investigation and once that happens everything they will be frozen you will not be able to have access to nothing unfortunately by extra step go to the police department I mean I know this part is going to be a waste of time because they're not going to be able to get your money back but at least let them know so that way there's some record of it.

9. Screenshot everything write everything down take notes even if you are in the middle of one of these conversations now go back as far as you can from the beginning tell you know screenshot your conversation if you need to that's fine but this is got to stop guys and we're the only ones who can fight back the FBI will help you know they they can do the Justice part they can they can make the arrest and go to court and everything but they can't do it without our help.

10. Now I will be turning people in in groups of five or more that's why I said turn the information into me as soon as I get five or six people together I will go turn them in I do have a contact there and he told me just to wait to have that many just because it would just be easier to just do them all at once so just one by one by one by one

So now you know what is going on so how you stop it that's very easy you do one thing and one thing only you make a decision and you stand by it you stand your ground you do not weaken your position at all do not show that you're weak do not give them even an inch because if you give them an inch they will not just take a mile they will take a whole football field and then they're going to tighten the grip on you and then you can't get out if you're in this position Now message me immediately and let me know and I will give you I will give you instructions this blog this this post I will I am asking everybody who reads it's please please reblog this over and over and over and over again I don't care how many times this has got to get out cuz this is very serious so far these women just in the past two and a half years have gotten over a hundred million dollars from Men 100 million definitely more than a price of a cup of coffee in the guys and the thing is it could have all been prevented.

Now for the fun part things that I have tried and has worked to oeel these women off your back besides Im no of course.

1. If you should give them your PIN number or you already have tell them that you had to get that you received a piece of software from your bank or whatever you want to lie to them if you got to every time they use the PIN code a new one is put in its place at random only you know what the new PIN code is going to be because it's going to be email to you if they ask to see proof of the emails tell them that's classified you can't show that just doesn't allow you to screenshot it because Android phones I know especially I'm pretty sure probably the same as iPhones you cannot screenshot certain screens especially on banking apps or anything has to do with money I sensitive information

2. Okay if you've given them your bank account info or your PIN number already tell them that you got notification from your bank that to be safe they're charging you an extra save $5 for the purpose of enrolling you in a new service that will automatically change your PIN number every time you use it or if you want to you you can tell him that you came across the piece of software on the internet that does the exact same thing I just told you about whichever it doesn't matter this will make them back off of you a lot because then they know that you're on to them they'll start not talking to you like they were or they'll say you know they'll be in a conversation just leave get offline you know because they know that you're on to them and they're panicking they don't know what to do so they have to call their boss to find out what to do and he has given them no answer no we do not know who the boss is by the way or where this is all being based out of I will tell you also that.

3. Okay I'm sure you're probably wondering who all these women are not 100% sure but most likely they probably were kidnapped at some point in time brainwashed and part of a human trafficking ring or a sexual tracking trafficking ring before they ended up doing this they probably don't even know who they really are but yet they managed to play in the end you know with our society because you know our society is pretty much stupid in itself I'm sorry guys but it's true and I count myself apart that

I don't think I have forgotten anything else like I said be vigilant Be watchful and do not lose your ground make a decision you stay with it cuz otherwise you're just going to put more money in their pockets I mean it's very possible that you know you know they figure well we're on to them so they're going to go ahead and just give up and close shop and move on to the next country you guys some of you I know work very hard for your money now I'm not sure if men are doing this to women or not but for you ladies if there is anything like this the same the same thing applies I mean I don't see why there are in any man involved or probably should be.

Finally it took a lot for me to admit what I admitted to you tonight I'm not very proud of what I did I'm not very proud of the fact that I let somebody well actually left2 somebody's get by me I'm usually pretty smart but that's how they operate and I will tell you tonight I have a possible number six so I don't know if number six will turn out or not she's doing a lot of the same things but she's been taking more of an actual normal approach as to the relationship part of it I'm not letting myself get involved you know emotionally or anything I'm just kind of just playing a role right now and she's not getting any money from me so I will keep you updated on that like I said anybody guys I don't care who you are I will not ask questions I will not judge please help me get these people may we may not get them all but hell we can at least put a big big enough Dent and shut down and they'll leave but we got to act quickly and we got to keep acting quickly hell I would say it's pretty ballsy if you go decide to go ahead and start seeking them out just to get them I mean you can do that if you wish unfortunately there's no reward or no money being paid but you know you are kind of owe it to your fellow neighbor your fellow just your fellow person you fellow man all right you guys good luck you got a lot of work ahead of us y'all have a great week and I'll update you as I get more information if you have any questions do not please do not hesitate to ask if I don't have the answer I will contact my person at the FBI and he will answer them for me and I will get back to you as soon as possible thank you guys have a great week.

[samwritesforyou]

We’re gonna be okay

Diego x reader

Summary: You and Diego worked out a system for a situation if he ever comes to your place while being in the highest form of distress and needs your help. He assured you it won’t happen often. Until one night, it finally did.

A/N: i feel like i’ve read the whole tumblr dot com worth of diego x reader fanfics and yet i still wanted more, so the desperate need to finally write something myself has been fulfilled. i would actually love to take requests, so if you want, dont hesitate to message/ask me! im ready to write fics and headcanons :) (my blog might seem new but ive been on tumblr for years and years and i finally dedicated a new blog to mostly reader inserts, either my own or reblogging others)

Warnings: Mentions of a panic attack, gender neutral reader

Wordcount: 3,350

There was a knock on the door.

It was pretty late, but not too late for it to be Diego yet.

Or so you thought.

You got up kinda lazily from a comfortable chair you had situated in the corner of a room, at first designed mainly for reading or napping, but ending up doing absolutely whatever you could on the spot. Eating pizza, watching netflix, browsing through the internet after long working hours that you put in into your tiny art selling business.

You slightly opened the door and already plastered a semi-fake smile for a possible neighbor, but in front of you stood Diego.

Your dear friend, who was at the moment soaked from the rain outside, with big eyes, fast breathing and bloody hands.

Bloody hands?!

“Hello to you too, friend!” you said quite worried, quickly patting him down for signs of any physical pain. For the first time in a while he seemed fine, unscarred.

Your eyes finally went up, literally scanning his face but it was completely unreadable.

His eyes were wide and he looked as if he couldn’t comprehend what was going on around him.

You looked down again and took his fists into your hands. His own palms unclenched and you could see that they were heavily bloodied.

“Diego.. whose blood is it?”

No answer.

You rushed him inside and closed the door behind the two of you, facing the damn vigilante again.

“Diego, I need to know who’s blood is on your hands,” your voice grew steadier as you knitted your brows together in worry and confusion.

Only then the guy decided to move his arms and you noticed how shaky he is. He connected his two index fingers in the form of a cross, pressing it to his chest.

Your own eyes went wide now as you stumbled back a few steps and your mind went blank.

.

.

.

You instantly remembered a night that happened a few years back. He has come in crumbling through your window and was obviously in some new form of distress, that you couldn’t quite understand yet.

“Diego?” it seemed like your voice didn’t reach his ears, so you tried calling out his name again, getting up from the couch and patting him lightly on the body, to determine any sign of an injury.

It looked like there was none, so you tried to reach his gaze that was somewhat absentminded, all over the place, scanning everything but not meeting your eyes.

He was a tough guy, and you knew it. You knew that if you want to get answers, you need to either get them yourself or make yourself heard, until he cannot ignore you any longer.

“Diego Hargreeves, what is going on?” your voice was soft yet determined.

His dark orbs finally stopped on your face and he just shook his head, his breathing oddly fast for a man who was just simply standing.

You continued to push. You didn’t have the best day either, and to be interrupted at 1am by his visit was nothing new, but you couldn’t let him have this behaviour. Even though you’re friends, that didn’t automatically mean that he could do whatever he wanted.

Throughout the whole night he didn’t say a thing, but when you started adding volume to your voice, he.. he just broke down.

That night, you’ve witnessed Diego experience a panic attack. Caused by yourself.

You couldn’t fall asleep that night, even after you eventually calmed him down and the only thing that was left to do for you was to watch him sleep and slowly rubbing circles on his exposed arm out of the blanket.

It felt like neons before you noticed a first ray of sunshine drawing from the half-closed curtains, making you spring to your feet and drag your ass to the kitchen, trying to think of what to do for breakfast.

When you figured the recipe out and finished cooking, Diego was already up and joined you near the kitchen counter, next to which you had two stools.

He settled on one of them, looking at you.

“Hey.”

“Hey,” you couldn’t muster anything better, so you just put a plate in front of him and then sat next to his side, simply digging into your portion of scrambled eggs.

“About last night, y/n..” he drifted off, probably at first deciding that it’s better to fill his stomach a little bit.

In the meantime you didn’t dare to speak up and just waited for him to say something, anything.

When he finished his meal, he finally turned to you with a sigh.

“You know that one guy I told you ‘bout? That we.. we do some vigilante shit together from time to time?”

You just nodded, not meeting his eyes.

“Well. I guess I could count him as a close friend. You know.. and,” this was followed by a slight pause and clearing of the throat.

“He died yesterday. I couldn’t save him.”

Your eyes immediately shot up to Diego and all that vulnerability and hurt that you’ve clearly seen yesterday just overtaking him were completely gone. Now present only a strong facade that he mastered whenever he needed to hide from showing emotions. You hated it.

“Shit, Diego..” you spoke quietly and softly, all the words seemed to have left you in all the things unsaid in your throat. But you tried to continue.

“I’m sorry. And I’m also sorry for pushing you over the edge. I.. I didn’t know what happened so I just acted how we would normally do,” he smirked at that, merely for a second, but you still caught it.

“Look, I.. I know, “ he simply said and then it felt as if he was weighting pros and cons of telling you something else that was clearly on his chest.

“You always help me out. Every single night I come to you.. Why do you do it, y/n?” Diego’s eyes were steadily turned your way.

At the sudden question you raised an eyebrow, “well, I.. I care about you.”

He lightly bit his lower lip and turned his gaze away, clearly thinking about something really hard.

“Okay,” he finally said, “y/n, do you think I could ask you for a favour then?”

At that your eyes met and you felt nervous, for some reason.

You really liked him. Not just like a friend. But you understood that there probably won’t be a chance for you two to ever become a couple (mostly considering that you didn’t believe that he could feel about you this way), so you settled for friendship anyways, since you two really got along well.

And having this handsome tough guy as a friend? Damn, just that is already some kind of luck swinging your way.

But your feelings of course meant that.. you’d do more for him than what you’d do just for a friend. You would get out of your comfort zone just to help him with injuries or hear him talk about his girlfriend (at the time, now they were broken up) and how they argued so much that he ended up on the streets and didn’t really want to go to his lonely place at the gym.

And you took him in. You always did. And since the day you became friends you always care for him.

And you’d care now once again.

“What is it?” in your tone danced a question, troubled with what he might ask for.

“Well, yesterday-“ he cut himself from finishing and cleared his throat, starting over.

“I imagine we’re gonna be friends for a long time, right?”

You just pushed your brows up with a small nod in affirmation.

“I never had.. anyone, really, to help me with the states I often got into,” you immediately thought of Eudora, wasn’t his ex-girlfriend supposed to be his support pillar? Or is he just making you feel sorry for him-

“Or I didn’t ever trust anyone that much, you know,” oh, okay, that kind of explains that then.

“And I guess.. I trust you enough? To share this?” he talked quietly and mumbled a lot so you realised soon you won’t be able to hear him at all.

You grabbed his hands with yours and caught his attention this way.

You were never really touchy together, but occasional hugs and even holding hands was kind of a standard for you from time to time.

His eyes met yours again and you cursed yourself for your heartbeat getting faster. This is not an appropriate moment to get butterflies in your stomach, dammit.

“I’m listening, Diego,” you confirmed, nodding again.

“Okay. It’s- it’s just really h-hard to talk about this,” he stuttered a bit, but with the next breath continued again, “When there’s some situation that’s just completely fucked up, like losing someone close to me, or- or somethin’ else, I don’t know.. I finish what I need at the scene where it happened but when I come home I just,” he breathed some air in and you felt his hands squeeze yours a bit tighter, “I just break down, you know? Sometimes it’s just all too much for me and I don’t know how to deal with it and I would just wanna.. someone to hold me, I guess? Otherwise when someone’s trying to talk at me or somethin’ I just get even more worked up and it’s even worse.”

It all started to come together in your mind. Even though it sounded really strange to hear Diego talk about things like.. wanting to be held and shit. But you always guessed there’s a far bigger sweetheart and a soft boy underneath all those harness and knives.

You tried to pick your words carefully.

“So when I started to ask you shit.. You just flipped. Basically because I was talking at you a lot and you couldn’t take it anymore, right?”

He sighed and looked somewhere up, nodding bit by bit.

“Yeah, yep. That was it.”

You clapped at his hands lightly, to bring his focus back again and he looked at you and mustered a sad, faint smile.

You did the same. In the world you lived in, unforeseen and unfortunate events were happening left and right and thinking about his childhood and everything.. no wonders he developed such a huge reaction and coping mechanism to something catastrophic happening.

“That’s okay, Diego. I’m here for you, I mean it. Let’s just talk about some things what I should and shouldn’t do when you come here in that state, alright? I just want you to feel comfortable.”

“Alright. Thank you, y/n,” he was looking down now, the whole morning kinda failing to meet your gaze and just rubbed his thumb across your hand, which send you heart into a race again.

You slowly let go of him, making an excuse to go wash the dishes.

After a while you looked behind you where he sat and said, “We also need some sort of a sign that you can easily show me, since you’re not really talkative when you get like this.”

Apparently he already used said “sign” somewhere, because he had it on the ready.

It was his hands clutching in fists, index fingers crossing each other in a form of a cross, pressed to his chest.

“Something like this. But don’t worry, I don’t think it’ll happen often. That would be really sad,” he laughed a little and then looked at you somewhat longingly and you averted your eyes back to the sink, nodding.

.

.

You almost forgot about that and now it all come flooding back.

Something terrible must’ve happened. You were panicking, but you had to stay strong, for him.

He was still standing in your hallway, with a crossed index fingers pressed to his chest.

“Okay, okay..” you mumbled more to yourself than to him, taking his hands into yours and looking him up and down.

He really seemed.. disconnected. It was kind of scary and you tried so hard not to think about what happened. Or about who died.

“Here, come with me, Diego,” you led him by the hand towards your couch as he was holding onto you, but his usual grip was gone.

You both ended up on a sofa and you really didn’t know how to act around him now, because.. he didn’t talk, didn’t look at you but when he did, his eyes were wide and big and he just seemed suddenly like a small boy to you.

Hopefully he won’t remember this tomorrow, you thought and tried to smile a little bit at him.

“Okay. Can you get your hands up for me, baby boy?” You’ve decided to approach this situation as if you were just babysitting an overgrown child.

Because nothing bad happens to children normally, right? And if you kept thinking about him as usual grown man Diego, you’d lose your mind in the process, wanting to scream and shake him by the shoulders until he spills you what happened.

Being Diego’s friend pushed you to new limits each day, truly.

He didn’t bat an eyelid at your tone change and word choosing, just obliging and putting his hands up.

You helped him to get his knives down and put his black turtleneck over his head, so now he sat shirtless right next to you, hands still smeared with blood.

Goddamit the blood!

You took him by the elbows and lead Diego to the bathroom, where you helped to get the red out of his hands. At the sight of blood dripping down into the sink you deciphered a whimper from him, even through the sound of running water and looked up.

Diego couldn’t stop looking down at his hands and tears were running down his cheeks.

You quickly took his face into your wet hands from the water and forced him to look away and lock his gaze with yours.

“Hey, don’t look at it, okay? It’ll only make you stressed. Until I’m done you can just close you eyes, okay?”

“Oh-okay,” he said and just closed his eyes here and there.

You sighed and tried to finish washing his hands as fast as possible, cursing under your breath pretty often.

“I’m sorry..” you heard him mumble and when you looked up, his eyes were still shut.

“Nothin’ to be sorry about.. We’ll talk about this tomorrow, right? Don’t worry. You’re safe now,” you smiled as you were already wrapping his hands in a towel and his eyelashes fluttered, eyes opening.

You stayed looking at each other for a second longer than necessary, but then you already lead him away to the bedroom area, where you actually tucked him in, wrapping in a soft blanket and then rushed to the kitchen, grabbing a few cookies and then leaving it on a plate next to him on the night table. 

 You almost made yourself comfortable on the couch, when he suddenly called out your name from the bed.

You sprung to your feet, thinking he’s actually hurt but you didn’t notice or that- “Can you... stay with me? P-please?” he asked, disrupting your train of thought. You did expect this, but still felt really shy about that.

Diego is vulnerable right now and does need your help and presence though.

And there wouldn’t be anything you wouldn’t do for him.

“Sure,” and after this simple answer you carefully climbed in next to him covering you both with a blanket and he curled up closer to you, almost immediately falling asleep.

From one point of view it felt like you wouldn’t sleep at all tonight, but from the other one.. you actually fell asleep just as fast as he did.

.

.

To nobody’s surprise you woke up first and actually flinched at the sight of sleeping Diego inches from your own face.

Your mind went running with ideas what happened and what’s going on until you realised the real deal and your brain caught up to yesterday’s shenanigans.

It was a wild ride and you were thankful that now it’s - most probably - over.

Your eyes were subconsciously scanning his face, until you realised what you’re doing, but you didn’t stop even then.

You’ve never been this close to his face yet and now you could admire and explore every part of it.

Having feelings for a friend that’s laying in the same bed with you at the moment is really not the healthiest thing that could’ve happened to you, huh..

You actually froze and your heart started racing billion times faster when you realised that you have a weight of his arm around your waist, pulling you closer from his sleep.

He grunted and his nose was now in your hair, shuffling a little to get more comfortable.

You had no idea how to change positions, especially when being held by such a strong arm as his and you got a feeling like Diego might actually wake up just about now, so the best solution that came into your mind was to forcefully close your eyes shut and pretend that you’re still sleeping.

He did, indeed, wake up. You were suddenly pushed to the other side of the bed, arm disappearing from your waist and a waterfall of curses fell from his lips quietly.

You used up all your acting stamina to make a believable scene of you gaining your conscious from the deep slumber that you were obviously in, stretched your arms for a good effect and finally opened your eyes.

You immediately signed up for a staring contest as soon as you looked at him and smiled a little. His face remained unreadable but perhaps a little bit flustered?.. But you may be reading too much into it.

“Hi,” you said with a higher tone than intended and Diego just nodded at that.

You tried your luck by addressing the elephant in the room right away, you never liked ignoring the problems that were always looming over you, “care to tell me what happened yesterday?”

He drew a big sigh and rested his head back on the pillow, looking up at the ceiling.

You couldn’t stop looking at him. At first because you really wanted to know the mystery, but the longer you looked at him, the more you realised that you’re just admiring the beauty that he holds, until his words fell like a dead weight right onto your shoulders.

“I found Eudora’s body yesterday. I couldn’t get to the place in time and someone killed her.”

What?

It felt like what he said was simply a trick of your imagination. You liked Eudora yourself, she was a very intelligent and an interesting person, you two often hung out and that feeling didn’t cease even after you found out that she and Diego started dating.

And even when they broke up some months after, you still found your way to spend time with her. So did Diego.

You wanted to cry, but thought that it might be insensitive towards him, because he was much closer to her than you were, so you tried to swallow your forming tears down.

“I’m.. I’m so sorry, Diego..”

“It’s your loss too, I know it, y/n,” he looked at you with much softer look this time.

“Come here,” he said a little bit hesitantly and opened up one arm towards you.

This was unusual, but maybe last night’s events tore down some walls?.. Who knows.

You almost threw yourself into his embrace and once your forehead rested on his chest, you started crying.

From everything, honestly. There’s been problems at work, your seemingly unrequited feelings for Diego didn’t help much either and now you learned that you lost one of your friends.

He started rubbing circles on your back, just letting you get those emotions out, while you two were hugging each other on the bed in your apartment.

And as you slowly started to calm down, he said a gentle, “it’s gonna be okay. We’re gonna be okay”

[last-flight-of-fancy]

yknow.. i kinda wanna talk about the difference between a retcon and a reveal for a minute, just cause i see those words thrown around a lot (particularly wrt kh) and i think a lot of people don’t really grasp the difference between them sometimes, so i just wanna delve into it a bit if ya’ll don’t mind indulging me.

im also going to preface this by saying that none of these are inherently bad (yes even retcons). and all are probably going to be present in any story medium the longer it exists. all the examples are gonna be kh based bc that’s where my brain lives and bc it’s such a long running series it has plenty of examples of both

so first off. retcon

a Retcon is short for retroactive continuity. it’s when a writer explicitely changes past parts of a story to suit their current needs (or ignores them). this is the one that’s usually used with the most derision, and well.. it’s because yeah, the most glaring retcons tend to be handled badly. sometimes a thing needs to be retconned however. like tifa saying a slur in the OG ff7. we did not need that.

retcon example: in Dream Drop Distance, Young Xehanort lists the three rules of time travel, which is integral to the Big Villain Plot going forward. 1. you cannot take your body. 2. you will not remember your experiances in the other time. 3. you can only travel to points where some version of yourself already exists. however previously in kh2, sora visited Timeless River (Disney Castle in the distant past) and appears to have broken all three of these rules, having not existed on that world (or probably at all that far back), taking his body, and remembering it all afterwards (probably? i think).*

*this being said there remains every possibility that this could still end up being explained somehow. it’s kh it can do that.

A Reveal on the other hand is when the audience is deliberately misled about what is happening in the story, only to have the truth shown later on. Most people know this as a Twist, but many Twists i feel lack the buildup and foreshadowing a good Reveal has (imo). KH is littered with reveals, reveling in it’s winding and confusing plot (despite what people say, it has extremely consistent internal logic considering the length and breadth of the series, it’s just presented in a confounding and often nonlinear manner) to keep people guessing.

a good reveal example (and one that many accuse of being a retcon), is that nobodies can regrow their hearts, which was given in DDD. accusations that this is a retcon are innacurate due to the sheer amount of evidence from as early as Chain of Memories (where nobodies as a concept were first introduced, though i don’t beleive they use that name or explain what they are until kh2) that nobodies could in fact feel things. the reason this gets called a retcon is i think largely because many, many characters outright state it as fact that nobodies cannot feel, and the audience simply goes along with it. however, most of these characters, while they do beleive in their words, are wrong (yen sid, most of the Org13), and the remainder are outright lying (xemnas, xigbar). The key difference is whether clues were left for the audience to follow, or if in hindsight the new information makes perfect sense (which it does).

using old things in new ways is a thing i don’t have a snappy word for but i think is a further subsection of this, bc it’s neither really a retcon nor a reveal in that it does not have the necessary forethought to be a reveal but it doesn’t actively contradict anything stated previously either like a retcon. this one is also harder to pin down as it often requires Word Of God to be confirmed, and otherwise is mostly speculation. you can kinda get a feel for this sort of thing though, if you’re paying attention. some writers are better at it that others, and as always this can be subjective. (personally i think nomura is a mastermind at this sort of thing, incorporating old, completely innocuous things in incredible new ways almost seemlessly, and giving them a whole new context without breaking the narrative)

A good example of this would be the Hollow Bastion science pods, which existed in a single room in KH1 and were left completely alone for another 17 years (*17? ish). Given that the first game in the series is more or less completely self contained and the possibility of it’s continuation not at all a guaruntee, i am inclined to doubt nomura had planned that small detail so far in advance when khux probably hadn’t even been seeded as an idea yet.

and finally Not Anything Actually is when Word Of God says something one time in an interview ten+ years ago and then had a better idea later. that’s just called writing, it’s not a retcon stop calling it a retcon.

[ashintheairlikesnow]

hi ash! i know you said before that you're not autistic you just did a lot of research to depict chris realistically- do you have any advice for finding resources on writing disabled characters that isn't like... horribly abelist? im writing someone with an intellectual disability from head trauma and who is nonverbal, and i want to get it right but everything online seems very autism-speaks-y. im autistic and semiverbal but i dont have an id and i want to be realistic and respectful.

I cannot speak with any expertise or sense of speaking from enough experience to be taken as an expert here, and defer as always to those with lived experience with intellectual disability!

But I will give a few more general tips for what to do when looking to write a character with a neurological makeup that doesn’t match your own, as far as what has worked for me with Chris:

1. The story should never be ABOUT their lived experience if you do not also have it. Chris’s story is not about autism, or being autistic. I would never presume to try and write a story like that because, whatever my intentions, I don’t have that knowledge that comes from living it. I would at BEST be taking the experiences of others, their voices. At worst, I would be someone standing with a megaphone shouting over those who deserve to be heard.

Making the disability what the plot revolves around is... generally just not going to be a good idea, in any sense. It’s moments like this where I feel like it’s best to defer to the writers who have lived it, instead. 

This is not to say “never write someone different than yourself”, because... I don’t think that’s at all good advice. I think that way lies stunted writers who never push themselves. But it does mean “do not center the story on this thing if you have not experienced it and don’t have that knowledge and understanding”.

2. At the same time, don’t try to be coy or dance around or hide the disability behind purple prose or refuse to acknowledge its reality. Trying to make a disability sound cute, or talk around it instead of speaking it out loud, can be minimizing or shaming in ways that I think it’s easy to miss, if you don’t live with that disability yourself! To me, this touches on one of my hugest pet peeves - characters who are written as having a particular neurodivergence in media, or shown on tv, but they never expressly admit to it or name it. 

I know I hesitated with Chris, more because I didn’t feel comfortable giving him a diagnosis until I understood autism better myself, and I do regret how long it took me to embrace that reality about him. I just thought it better to err on the side of researching before I embraced. But I do feel some guilt about waiting so long when I had readers who were identifying so heavily with him, and I kind of knew, but just didn’t feel comfortable owning it yet.

3. On a related note - disabilities in a story that become melodramatic tragedy or turn the disabled character into a ‘redemption story’ for an abled character. This is so, so prevalent in common media and pop culture and once you recognize it for what it is, it’s so hard to not see it in so many places. Think of how many movies, novels, etc contain a disabled character who exists to teach abled people some virtuous lesson about living life to the fullest or ‘what it really means to be human’ blah blah blah blah blah. Don’t do that. Please. (I mean, I kind of feel like you definitely won’t, but I’m just speaking very generally here). If you find the story going in a direction in which abled people learn something from the disabled person, please think very carefully and critically as to why the story is heading in that direction.

Language alone can also be a problem here - think about the difference between openly describing a character moving around their life with a wheelchair vs. calling them “wheelchair-bound” or “reliant on a cane”, when the cane or wheelchair may actually represent freedom to that person - an aid they need, yes, but one that allows them to live with far more agency than they might have had otherwise. 

To describe them, especially from their own POV, as “wheelchair-bound”, may ring false to disabled people who understand that the wheelchair isn’t a cage, but a tool that allows that individual person to feel less caged by being able to more freely leave home.  

(This varies person to person, just providing an example)

4. Educate. Research. And don’t just do so by asking people with disabilities to tell you their stories. I often express gratitude to the autistic readers, those with ADHD, etc who spoke up about Chris, talked about their own experiences, identified with him, found him very resonating for aspects of their own lives. 

These stories, this information, this sharing of their lives was given freely to me, and I’m fucking amazed and grateful for how welcomed Chris was, and how willing readers were to share about themselves when talking about him.

Their willingness to speak about these things is something I treasure. But I absolutely would never believe that a single person owed me the story of their life to make sure I got Chris right. That was my responsibility, you know? I try to keep in mind the concept of ‘emotional labor’. Asking a disabled person to be your resource is asking them to give, and give, and give of themself. They may want to give you that kind of labor, they may not. But I definitely wouldn’t ask it of anyone without understanding it was something they were happy or felt comfortable giving.

Research, on the other hand, is essential. You mentioned things being “autism speaks-y” when trying to research on your own, and oh god, do I feel you. It sucks that autism speaks is the first thing to pop up when trying to research the lives of autistic people - and in my research, I was lucky to already know AS sucks and write them off and anyone who heavily referenced them as not helpful. I can see how someone might not know that, though, and stumble on them and believe they were a helpful resource for writing autism when they... well. Nope. 

Try to think about the express disability you are writing for this person, and why, and then go research! I looked up “books on autism recommended by autistic people”, and found some invaluable books, yes, but also papers published online, websites, etc! Each of them vetted and looked over and recommended by autistic people, so I knew I was getting information that came from people with those experiences and that understanding. A good example - I picked up a book on the history of diagnosis and treatment of autism in the United States, mentioned it here, and @redwingedwhump recommended a book called Neurotribes... which turned out to be immensely more helpful, spot-on, and provided some really excellent foundational information I wouldn’t have found in the first book at all.

There’s a lot of information out there on Traumatic Brain Injuries and their lasting effects on individuals who receive them, so I would start there. What you’re describing sounds like a TBI with lasting effects! So I would start your research there, and also look up being nonverbal separately, as well as combining the two. Make sure you’re not just looking at the top links - often paid ads or problematic organizations that are able to pay more for better exposure - but also scanning for blogs, nonprofits, lived-experiences stories, too.

I found a lot of information on the second or even third page of results i would never have seen if I only stuck to the first. Remember the algorithm on search engines is usually showing you what other people are clicking on, not necessarily the best source.

5. This is one you the asker already know, but I want to include it for general reasons: do not ‘dumb down’ the thought processes of a nonverbal or semi-verbal person. I see this in fiction surprisingly often, and I think it’s this sense we have as abled people (’we’ just meaning I’m including myself) that being verbal is required to have a highly complex thought process, and it’s... it’s just fucking not. Speech and though are related but not completely wound around each other, and the ability to verbalize is not the same as the ability to think. 

Like I said, I know you know this, asker, but it’s something I see in fiction/media and it drives me up the wall. So I wanted to include it.

6. For the love of God, do not use medical terminology unless you actually know what you’re doing/talking about. Many disabled people or those with serious medical conditions become what amounts to experts on their own diagnoses, because they have to. They have to be experts to receive the care they should be able to rely on. If you constantly fuck up terminology - trust me - it will be noticed, and it will take people out of the story or hurt their ability to suspend disbelief while reading.

There are ways to do medical scenes/conversations with doctors that avoid falling into this problem! I would just be very very careful to heavily research before using any complex terminology.

7. This disabled person does not exist to evoke pity. They are a human - nuanced and multi-layered - living their life, and their story should always, always reflect that. I don’t really have anything else to add to that.

I would love to hear further advice from anyone with anything else to add.

[write-it-good-imagines]

Game night - Im Jaebum

OH MY GOD HELLO EVERYONE! okay i’ll tone down the caps, *ahem*, I just have to say, this was so much fun to write! I want to thank @iwanttobejaebeomsslut for giving me this idea, lmao. It is Jaebum centered, but it also turned into Got7 game night 

ajsndjkefnjrfnjdcfndf, it’s better to leave you to read it yourselves! Enjoy

~5.3k words, excessive fun, fluff, romance

“Hyung, hyung, hyung! Is Y/n coming too?”

Jaebum turned his body abruptly to an overexcited Jackson. He quirked a brow as his friend waddled over to Mark, a goofy smile on his face.

“Well,” Mark nodded his head, pushing Jackson’s face away jokingly “She is the one who throws us the party after all. I guess her friends are coming too.”

“Wah, Jackson hyung, we are going to have fun then!” Bambam meddled in, bumping his fist to Jackson’s. 

Jinyoung playfully threw his arms around each of them, nudging Jackson with his hip. “Maybe it’s time for you to ask her out, huh?”

Jaebum approached Mark with a curious glint in his eyes. Youngjae and Yugyeom jumped in the commotion, building up their offense to tease Jackson about his transparent excitement. “Who are they talking about?”

“Ah, you don’t know.” Mark smiled at Jaebum. “Remember last time I went home, in LA? I invited Jackson and Bambam and my childhood friend offered to be their babysitter for the day while I spent time with my family. I’ve known her since we were like… infants. You might as well say she’s my younger sister.”

“Oh? She must have left a very good impression on Jackson if he’s this excited.” Jaebum laughed and stuffed his things in his bag. 

Mark tapped his chin with his index. “Well, she is his type somewhat. She told me the other day she got an internship at a company in Seoul but keep it a secret from Jackon. I am not in the mood for that.” 

The two older brothers chuckled and shook hands to seal their silent agreement. Jaebum approached the herd and clapped his hands in an attempt to grab their attention.

“All right, everyone! Practice is done for the day. Don’t forget we have a flight to catch in the morning.”

“That’s a reminder for you, hyung!” Yugyeom teased and took two steps back under Jinyoung’s deadly glare. All the others laughed in unison.

Youngjae checked a list that he made on his phone, making sure no small detail escaped his mind. “Mark hyung, is there anything we can help with? I feel a bit bad that the girls are organizing everything for us.”

“Those were the instructions, though,” Mark replied, raking a hand through his hair. “I think it was something along the lines ‘sit still and be pretty’.”

“It would do you no good to question that, Youngjae.” Jackson chimed in, gesturing dramatically with his hand. “Y/n is really stubborn.”

“Still, not all of us know her, or her friends.” Jinyoung reminded his friend. “It’s very nice of them.”

Jaebum fixed the cap on his head and smiled at his members, trying to mask and otherwise excited stance. Taking a break was always a nice thing; taking a break in LA with everyone was on another level. “Then all we have to do is make sure we have fun.”

The flight to LA felt relatively shorter than all of their other flights, partly thanks to the contagious excitement the foreign members had. The others were a tad worried about the language barrier but quickly dismissed the thoughts as soon as Mark assured them all of them spoke their language well. The boys started making all sorts of plans, from playing games to telling stories, to the undying game of rock-paper-scissors. It was a pleasant sight to see, being so excited. Jaebum wished nothing but the best for the boys.

However, he couldn’t deny that he was a little nervous. Leaving Jackson and Bambam aside who had already been introduced to the hosts, he was admittedly awkward around strangers. Easygoing as he considered himself to be, he needed some time to open up to people he had never met before, unlike the two who were living social butterflies. He was thankful, of course, that someone tossed their personal schedules aside to organize them something, but there was a certain anxiety in the back of his head.

Papa Tuan was the one to pick them up from the airport, the atmosphere drastically quieter as they did not make their arrival public. Mark went ahead to greet and hug his father and the others gathered around to welcome Mark’s father one at a time.

“Thank you for having us.” Jaebum stated as he shook Papa Tuan’s hand and dipped his head in a bow.

“What are you talking about, Jaebum?” he reciprocated with a laugh, patting the leader on the back. “We missed you guys! Staying at our house was the only option!”

The seven of them followed Mark’s father to his van and threw their luggage in the back, fighting for the comfortable front seats afterward. As soon as everyone was gathered inside the car, Bambam couldn’t push back his curiosity and he extended his neck from the back so Mark’s father could hear him over the blasting music.

“Say, Dad! I heard the girls organized a party for us! Are all of them single?”

Youngjae burst out in his resonating laughter and swat Bambam’s shoulder.  Soon, the van was filled with laughter.

“I’d say they are? All four of them are, I think. Y/n broke up with her boyfriend a while ago.”

“Hear, hear, Jackson.” Jinyoung winked at Jackson and won an embarrassed smile. The latter leaned over, placing his hand on Papa Tuan’s shoulder. 

“On a scale from one to ten, what are my chances?”

“As you are now, barely a 6.”

Mark and his father laughed together before Mark explained the joke to the others. The members followed their example. Jackson folded his arms over his chest and collapsed in his seat.

“Even so, I promise all of them are very nice girls. Aside from Y/n, whom we all have known ever since she was in diapers, Mark grew up with everyone. They are very nice girls. The boys apologized they wouldn’t stay long, all of them have night shifts.”

Jaebum looked out the window. However assuring Mark’s father was, he couldn’t tame the unknown feeling in his chest. He clicked his tongue as if preparing himself for a completely unforeseeable outcome.

 Papa Tuan finally parked the van outside of Mark’s house and he couldn’t contain his excitement as he noticed his mother and his younger brother, Joey, waiting for them outside. Mark got out rapidly and rushed over to glomp them in a tight hug, as well as indulging himself in their presence.

“I missed you guys!”

“Oof, such a big baby you are!” Mama Tuan laughed and wrapped her arms around her son. Joey walked over to the other members to greet them, executing the signature salute with Yugyeom which Bamabam immediately requested to learn. 

“I’m telling you, guys,” Joey began, giving Jackson his high-five “the house is going to be such a mess with you here!”

Jaebum shook his hands, panic imprinted on his features. “We won’t destroy anything.”

“You’d better not make a promise you cannot keep, hyung.” Youngjae chuckled and patted the leader on his shoulder. Jaebum swore it was going to be a long and anxious stay at the Tuan residence.

“Hey, Got7!” Mama Tuan called for the boys and all of them turned their attention to her. “Welcome home! Everyone is waiting for you inside!”

The boys didn’t need to be told a second time. Jaebum and Jinyoung stayed back to help with all the luggage as all the others crowded over to the house in turmoil. A loud cheer made Jaebum perk up and he followed everyone inside, a rather large gathering filling up the living with applause. The members exchanged glances among themselves and, under their leader’s guidance, they did their introduction with wide grins spreading on their features. A loud pop signaled a tube of confetti was brought forth.

As he looked up, Jaebum noticed a vast palette of balloons adorning the room with various messages written on them, mostly of a warm welcome. Everyone wore content smiles on their faces as they received the members and warmth engulfed his chest. He chuckled to himself when he saw three men distinctively dressed in formal attire and pitied them for having to go to work amidst such a party.

“Hey, Jackson, cat got your tongue?”

A mellow voice carried the English sentence vividly into the air and hypnotized Jaebum all at once. He tilted his head toward its master and his lips parted unintentionally at the sight of you. Your summer orange dress embraced your figure and emphasized the softness of your skin. The sunflower in your hair embellished your alluring characteristics but it truly was the elegance in your teasing smile that subdued Jaebum’s existence.

When Jackson rushed over to you and threw his arms around you so he could spin you around, Jaebum felt something click inside of him. The wide smile tugging at your lips as he sustained your body in his arms irked Jaebum down to his core. Although he would never admit that.

“Leader-nim,” Jinyoung nudged Jaebum in the ribs with his elbow as everyone scattered to introduce themselves to the hosts, “why do you look like you want to kill our Seunie?”

It took a moment to register Jinyoung’s words. “Huh? What are you talking about?”

“Eh, stop it!” Jinyoung laughed at his leader. “Your jealousy is showing, hyung.”

“Jealous?” Jaebum’s eyes widened and he scoffed. “Jealous of what? It’s okay, they know each other, it’s only natural.”

“Mhm. We’ll see about that.”

The sound of metal clinking against glass made everyone turn to Mark who found himself by your side. He spoke loudly, enthusiasm in the tone of his voice. “Now that all of us here, our dear host tonight and my oldest friend, Y/n, has an announcement to make!”

A bashful smile was sketched on your face as another fervid round of applause, accompanied by Bambam’s cheers, echoed in the house. “First of all, I welcome Mark and all of Got7 in LA! I hope you will have a pleasant stay here, with us.”

Jaebum nodded his head, his eyes curling into crescents. You continued.

“I know you might be tired from your flight as it is evening already and hungry and all that jazz, but we have to get this party started, right?”

Everyone responded in anticipation. “So I have a proposal to make for our dear boys!”

Jaebum blinked yet again, the clarity of his native tongue coming from your lips taking him by surprise, he had to unexpectedly adjust himself to the change. You turned to him and his eyes found yours effortlessly; the intensity of your orbs humbled him all of a sudden.

“I know some of you might protest because of ‘airport fashion’, Bambam,” you feigned a cough, “but what about we play a round of rock-paper-scissors to see who takes a short dive in the pool to open the fun?”

“Fuck airport fashion!” Bambam protested and walked forward, warming up his wrist. “You are taking a bath, Y/n.”

“Drown him.” Jinyoung chimed in, also getting ready for the game. Yugyeom draped his arm around Jinyoung’s shoulders, cackling at the previous remark. The members gathered around you and your friends in no time, a childish aura of competition flooding the living. Jaebum was the last one to attach himself to the group, his body opposing yours. 

“Should we make four people? We are twelve in total.” Your friend’s proposition passed unanimously.

You looked up at Jaebum and offered him a tender smile. “Then shall we play, leader-nim?”

Jaebum lifted his eyes to look at you and clumsily dipped his head, visibly not accustomed to you and your enthralling voice. “Of course.”

You thought you heard Youngjae mocking his leader’s words in a deeper tone and Jaebum caught his gesture too, alas having no time to react. The game ended as fast as it started, miraculously deciding the losers in one round. The boys lost no time to film the unlucky ones, pushing a protesting Bambam along with Mark and two of your girlfriends to execute their penalty. You giggled as Bambam cried out in displeasure for his favorite jeans.

Jaebum approached you, his eyes focused on you rather than on the pandemonium around the pool. He cleared his throat. “As crazy as ever.”

You beamed up at him immediately, your hands clasped together. It was the most beautiful smile Jaebum had ever seen in his life. “They are so cute! They are so fun to have around.”

He couldn’t peel his eyes off you. There was no plausible reason for his actions, why he felt so awkward around your bright and easygoing nature and why he considered everything he wished to say to you twice before actually speaking it. Jaebum knew his silhouette was tense. “They are. I am so blessed to have them.”

“I envy you.” You chuckled and leaned your body over to him. “Can you help me carry the food outside? There’s no chance we move that here.”

Jaebum chuckled and agreed in a heartbeat. He followed you to the kitchen like a child would follow his mother faithfully everywhere. He was grateful he could at least express himself to you freely. “Thank you for this. It means a lot.”

You shook your head. “It’s nothing! Mark took me by surprise when he said all of you would come over for a few days and I wanted to make it special somehow. I hope it is fit to your liking.”

“How can it not be?” Jaebum questioned too fast for his liking. He hated to think you’d doubt yourself. “I don’t need to go out there to tell people are having fun.”

A sheepish smile painted your features and Jaebum couldn’t be more pleased with himself. Merely thinking he was the cause of your smile satisfied him. He helped you with the first set of fried chicken and fries to calm the hunger of the children outside. Much to your surprise, everyone evacuated the area, most likely to change their clothes and put on the swimsuits. There was only Mark and Youngjae outside, setting the table.

“Where’s everyone?” Jaebum inquired, placing the food down.

“Went upstairs to change for battle.” Mark laughed and approached you, giving you a proper welcoming hug. You swayed with him from side to side playfully but eyed him suspiciously. “Battle? What battle?”

“You know the chicken game? Jinyoung bet 20 dollars that Bambam and Yugyeom would not be able to defeat him and Jackson on a, quote, ‘confrontation’. And because we know our maknaes are young and restless, they agreed the losing team would do a sexy dance for all the girls.”

Jaebum covered his mouth with his hand in sheer shock. “And you just stood there and agreed?”

“What is the worst that can happen?” Youngjae stuffed his mouth with fries. “It’s a show however you see it. Literally.”

“Oh my God.” Jaebum sighed heavily. He could feel a headache kicking in prematurely. “There’s no way in hell we’re stopping that, are we?”

“Nope.” Mark and Youngjae bumped their fists together and you witnessed a rare sight of Jaebum at a loss for words. You tugged on his shirt and gestured to him to follow you inside, doing your best to contain your laughter.

“You know,” you began through the giggles, “it’s not a disaster.”

“Never underestimate those guys, Y/n.” he stated, defeated, and lifted a case of beer from the refrigerator. “You should run for your life while you have the chance.”

You carried two bottles of juice and pursed your lips for a second. “Why should I? I don’t mind receiving a sexy dance from one of you handsome males.”

“Should I do it myself, then?”

The clumsy wink Jaebum gave you, along with the mortified sliver of laughter that followed right after made a hue of pink color your cheeks. You watched Jaebum’s broad back as he walked with the drinks outside and bit into the plush of your lower lip. It was an entertaining offer.

You followed outside and the earthly fighters were getting ready for their so-called battle. The cocky attitude the two youngsters had amused you. The older brothers, on the other hand, were either booing or mocking them. The spectacle was just about to start. 

You nested yourself by Mark’s side who pulled you close to him. “Who do you wager is gonna win?”

“I have a horrid feeling Jackson and Jinyoung will have to move those hips for you soon.”

The two of you laughed and you looked up at him. “Missed you, bestie.”

“Missed you too, kiddo. Although, kiddo is not quite right.”

“Why? Do I finally become a woman in your eyes?”

Mark poked your nose before pointing to Jaebum who seated himself by the side of the pool, somehow enjoying the uproar despite his protests. “Not me.”

Your best friend took charge of the speakers and opened the big gala with David Guetta’s song, ‘Club can’t handle me’. You dug your nails into the palm of your hand, trying to dismiss Mark’s words. He had always loved teasing you and you tried not to take it to heart. It was reasonably fair to say Jaebum couldn’t have taken an interest in you.

You followed your girls and plopped down next to Youngjae and Jaebum who were aggressively munching on the chicken. The splashing of water indicated the clash had started and you extended your hand to the bowl of fries, watching intently. It was both a comical and serious match, nothing but absurd. It was a close match, with the guys fooling around with one another until Yugyeom took a mischievous step to Jackson who was sustaining Jinyoung on his shoulders and cracked an opening. Bambam seized the momentum of Jinyoung losing balance and pushed him into the pool, erupting in celebration. The maknaes bumped their chests and mocked the disturbed Jackson and Jinyoung.

“Show me the money, losers!” Yugyeom wiggled his hand and earned a huge reaction from the spectators. 

“While you’re at it, shake that ass for me too!” Bambam completed and it was the last straw to make Youngjae explode in laughter. Jinyoung would have drowned Yugyeom if it hadn’t been for the oppressing embarrassment of their loss.

“Oh, they are so dead.” Your friend commented and tied her hair in a messy bun. “Guess it’s time to dance.”

“Hey Jackson,” Mark yelled, “what should Bree play for you? Do you have any preference?”

Yugyeom clapped his hands frantically and helped set the chairs for the girls. You allowed yourself to be dragged by your friend to one of the designated seats, laughing under your breath.

“You’d better entertain us, Jinyoung hyung!” Youngjae took a deep breath. Jinyoung ruffled his hair with a towel and then threw it at the vocalist. He grabbed a bottle of beer for himself and downed it in one shot under the devoted cheers of both of the maknaes. 

“Jackson, you got me into this mess, better give them something worth staring at.”

“How is it you’re the one excited for this?!” Jackson squealed and placed a hand over his bare chest. All the eyes were on him and Yugyeom let out a whistle. “Look at the muscles, Jackson hyung!”

When Rihanna’s ‘Wild thoughts’ started playing, it was safe to assume everyone collectively lost their cool. You couldn’t bear to look at the abashed protagonists but you also knew they wouldn’t get away without doing anything, especially because they lost to their youngest members. Something had to happen to satisfy their curiosity. Everyone else gathered around you and the girls, sly glints in their eyes. 

The humiliation on Jackson’s face disappeared as soon as he walked over to you, opening the show with a slow and controlled body roll, his defined abdomen contracting with every movement. He thrust his hips forward and inched closer to you, effectively seating himself above you as he kept on rolling his hips back and forth. You added fuel to the fire as you attached your fingertips to his chest, sheepishly pushing him away only for him to draw closer to you. Jinyoung was doing fine on his own too. Following Jackson’s example, he ran his hand down his torso and bit his lip as he rolled his body majestically, then curled his fingers into your best friend’s wild locks. 

And although Jaebum was smiling on the outside, he was reeking of dissatisfaction. He had no reason to; by all means, he wasn’t entitled to judge you for anything but if he could change something about those events unraveling, he would have seated himself above you, right where Jackson was.

“Jesus Christ, give me something to cool down. I could have died.” You joked as soon as the song ended, causing the spectators to erupt in laughter. You ruffled your hair and caught Jaebum staring at you; he looked away.

“Now we talk!” Bambam went over to a vexed Jinyoung and scarcely avoided a punch. “Cheer up hyung, not even strippers move as you do. You should be proud.”

“Boys, warn us the next time you buckle your hips like this, alright?” Bree chuckled and offered you a bottle of beer. “What would your majesties say about a game of beer pong? The winner decides what we play next.”

Jinyoung waved his hand dismissively and leaned down on the grass. “I’ll sit this one out. I need time to glue my integrity back.”

“Ay, hyung, you do that on stage all the time.” Yugyeom teased and hid behind you in fear. “Boys against girls?”

“Sounds good to me.” You smiled. “Who’s gonna play, guys?”

The members gathered around and started discussing their strategy. It was unanimous that Youngjae and Mark should play, based on their high tolerance of beer. Jackson proposed Bambam play in his stead and Jaebum turned to him at his odd remark. Their leader was chosen to be the fourth participant. They put their hands together to do their lucky chant and scattered. Jackson placed his hand on Jaebum’s shoulder.

“I’m sorry I overstepped the line earlier. I wouldn’t, had I noticed the way you look at her.”

Jaebum chuckled dryly. “Nonsense, Jackson. That’s nothing to apologize for. Whatever did you do wrong, anyway?”

“Hyung.” Jackson cocked his eyebrow. “I think everyone noticed by now. And I won’t be the one to ignore it. You’re too blatant, you know? Take the chance.”

Jaebum watched Jackson walk away and let out an annoyed sigh. 

You returned from the house with a brand new deck of cards and placed yourself in the middle of the human circle everyone formed. The night enveloped the nature imperceptibly, the tenderness of the late spring leaving an unusually warm air in its wake. Sparkling dots in the sky made for a splendid tableau and the timid sound of crickets harmoniously completing the acoustic tunes of the playlist. 

“Ladies and gentlemen,” you began in a stern voice, “I present you a little game me and my girls came up with. It’s called the next card.”

“Suggestive.” Mark chuckled and lunged for one of the cookies on the tray.

You rolled your eyes at him. “You pick a type of card you want to play with, either the king, or number four, any of the existing types of cards in the deck, and you put all four of them in a separate deck with what everyone else chooses. Not by clubs or diamonds, but by number. We shuffle them and announce a dare.”

“Oh, so the card that is pulled out has to do said dare?” Jinyoung questioned, sharing the remaining fries with your best friend.

“Correct. The fun thing is we don’t know who’s next. It could be me four times in a row for all we know.”

“Question!” Jackson raised his hand. “Can we make something like ‘the next two cards’ do this or that?”

You nodded your head. “Makes it even more interesting.”

“But we can also ask things, like in truth or dare?” Jaebum looked up at you and you nodded once again.

“However, we are a bit tipsy.” You stated and everyone else agreed through a laugh. “Will anyone have a guilty conscience if we do…certain things?”

Bambam folded his legs. “Does this get dirty real quick?”

Yugyeom smacked him. “It’s you who’s the perverted one here.”

“When we used to play with our friends in college, we used to put something like ‘the next two cards kiss’ or ‘the next card fakes an orgasm’. That’s why we ask beforehand.” Bree completed and nudged Youngjae for another bottle. “We could play it without this kind of things if you feel uncomfortable.”

Jinyoung extended his arm to take the deck from your hands, looking for his desired card. Jackson gave him a subtle look before leaning over to whisper something indistinctive in his ear. 

“I think we’re all okay with that, are we not, guys?” said Mark and was met by no protest. Jinyoung divided half of the deck with Jackson to help choose everyone’s cards and then boasted his ability to shuffle the cards. He proved to be proficient. You seated yourself in between Mark and Bree just as Jinyoung put the cards in your previous spot.

“Wait, wait, wait.” Bambam interrupted hurriedly, a disgusted look on his face. “So if it’s the next two cards kiss and it’s me and Jaebum hyung, does this mean I kiss him?”

“Hey.” Jaebum scoffed at him. “What’s wrong with kissing me?”

Jackson challenged the first card. “You in, or you out, Bam-ah.”

Bambam muttered a silent prayer in his native language and got cackles out of both Jinyoung and Yugyeom. “He shudders at the thought of kissing Beom.”

You looked at Jaebum who was seated opposite to you and he seemed personally attacked by Bambam’s little antic. You chuckled under your breath. His unhappy expression was adorable.

“Let’s take it slow then. Next card dives into the pool.”

“Let’s take it slow, says Jackson hyung.” Youngjae started laughing when the flipped card belonged to the owner of the dare. 

“Well, fuck.” Jackson snickered and threw himself in the water with no second thoughts. All of his members applauded his efforts diligently. Jinyoung was waiting for him with a towel. “Express your wish, Seun-ah.”

Jackson ran his fingers through his wet hair and Bree let out a gasp. All eyes were fast to turn to her before the public cracked up. “It’s not my fault he’s so disrespectful!”

The game continued cheerfully, with dares stretching in a vast domain, growing from eating grass to Bambam licking Yugyeom’s neck and the main vocal watching his soul leave his body as he faked out the sultriest moan he could muster. Anxiety grew as the game took a sharp turn, hands hovering indecisively over the cards. There was a general air of expectancy in the crowd.

“Now to the main attraction of the night,” Bree cleared her throat, trying to compose herself after giving a twerking class, “The next two cards share a beautiful French kiss.”

You clenched your fists. Your card failed to show up during the last few turns and it was a high possibility it could appear at that moment. There were also more boys so it was almost inevitable you would be paired with one of them. Jinyoung extended his body to tend to the cards, wiggling his fingers above them.

“Now, now, now, who should we call out?”

“Stop the bewitching, Jinyoung!” Mark threw a cookie at him and turned his body to Jaebum’s direction. “You might summon Bambam and Jaebum from the abyss of romance.”

Bambam refrained from making any comment. Notwithstanding some member’s objections, the first card flipped was, indeed, Jaebum’s. The leader covered his face with his hands, all the other boys going in a frenzy. They couldn’t miss a chance to explore their leader’s suffering.

“It can’t be. I swear to God, if Jaebum hyung and Bambam kiss, I will sign up for mental counseling.”

“Sign me up for that too, Youngjae hyung. I can picture Bambam drinking bleach.”

“These brats.” Jaebum growled from behind his hands before straightening his body to accept his fate. “Come on, flip the next.”

Jackson hissed and reached out for a dignified pat on the shoulder. “That’s a true man for you.”

Jinyoung poked out the tip of his tongue and slid his finger over the back of the card in anticipation. The look in his eyes was that of a man who knew what was coming next. Jackson folded his arms over his chest, the same twinkle in his chocolate orbs. Jinyoung put the card next to Jaebum’s and you widened your eyes in a stupor. It was yours.

Looks were quickly darted back and forth between the two of you, a bizarre silence absorbing the curiosity of all the people present. Jaebum looked at his card, then at you. Mark shoved your side lightly.

“I mean, we don’t have to kiss if you don’t want to, Jaebum.”

No other team in the world could synchronize as well as Got7 did when they turned to their leader.

“Huh? But I want to.”

You unconsciously pointed to yourself, forsaking any attempt to form coherent words. Jaebum smirked at you as he stood up to walk over to you, offering his hand to help you stand up.

“Look at him, being all sleek.” Bambam clicked his tongue, shaking his head in the process. Jinyoung retreated victoriously to his previous spot, Jackson taking a hold of his shoulders to cling to him. Mark sent Jaebum a wink when you took his hand.

“Go ahead, we won’t watch.” Youngjae stated but failing to disguise the keen interest in his voice. 

A laugh escaped your lungs and you leaned your forehead into the crook of Jaebum’s neck. He circled an arm around your waist, a grin of his own expanding on his lips. When push comes to shove, his members were but supportive so they started chanting the magic word, deepening the bashfulness in your chest. 

“We have to give the public what the public wants, Y/n.” Jaebum whispered in your ear, sending shivers down your spine. You pulled back and locked your arms around his neck, a velvety smile directed to him only. 

“Let us obey, then.”

Jaebum leaned in and bound his lips to yours. You closed your eyes at once, melting into the softness of his touch and the addicting sweetness of his lips. Jaebum lost no time to part your lips with his tongue, deepening the kiss with masterful movements. You dissolved into him, detaching yourself from the hoots and cheers echoing in your ears, and indulge yourself in the sinful ecstasy. You were not sure of it but it felt as if Jaebum longed for you.

You pulled away from the kiss and Jaebum leaned in to steal another peck from you. You lowered one hand to his chest and glared gleefully at him. He chuckled and sent you a cunning wink.

“Get a room!” Jackson yelled. “The tension is so thick I need a halberd to cut through.”

“Fuck off.” You laughed at him and reluctantly released yourself from Jaebum’s arms. He didn’t even bother to conceal the satisfaction. All the more to let you know.

“It’s my turn now, huh?” you plopped down next to Mark who poked your lower back to gain a secret handshake. You adopted a smug look as your eyes fell on the cards. 

“Next card lists his three favorite kinks.”

[retvenkos]

ahhhh congrats on 2.5k! i am in fact using this as an excuse to put sommat in ur ask box (bc i certainly haven’t always wanted to but been too scared nO) 🔥- mayhaps.... a ship for Harry Potter, a series of unfortunate events and the marauders era (also Harry Potter lol). idm what gender the person is btw. I love to read, write about anything that comes to mind, write poetry, I love musical theatre, and my fav genre of music is songs that make you want to throw urself into a bog in the best kinda way. im smart, quite anxious, low-key a train wreck, I’m so sarcastic it’s bad, m pretty well-liked and kind sometimes. and i don’t like when ppl cross boundaries that have been clearly set out, or those foam banana sweets. other stuff is that I’m a Ravenclaw, intj, secretly a 7 year old. thank you!!! and well done again on 2.5k! (that’s a crazy number homie. not surprised they follow u but it’s a lot 😳)

I don’t write for “A Series of Unfortunate Events” so I can’t do a ship for that show, sorry!

HP Golden Trio:

I ship you with Ginny Weasley!

okay, quick side note but you would be best friends with michael corner, you cannot convince me otherwise. in my mind, michael corner is the most sarcastic ravenclaw and generally a disaster, and the two of you together would be peak friendship.

first of all, you’re both hella intelligent, even if it’s not the first thing people recognize, and you both have strong wills - you are a power couple if i’ve ever seen one.

i 100% believe that ginny is shocked by your sarcasm at first. you’re introverted and a little shy when you first meet people, so she wasn’t expecting you to come out with the big guns, but when you do she loves it. the two of you can rip apart anyone you come up against.

but, what’s also good about you guys is that you are also kind and pretty charismatic, when you want to be. you both are softer underneath your intense independence, and so in the vulnerable moments, the two of you can lean on each other for help.

ginny is a music lover, but i don’t imagine she’s too into musicals, so the two of you definitely do some music hunting together, finding songs that both of you adore. due to your natural curiosity, you’re open to new music, which is good because ginny has some that are very near and dear to her, and she can be just a little stubborn when it comes to her tried and trues.

we all know that ginny is the biggest extrovert we’ve ever met, and you’re more of an introvert, which is going to be interesting, to say the least. the redeeming quality here, though, is that you are fairly versatile and so is ginny, so both of you are willing to try out what the other loves.

i imagine that you were friends for a long while before you got together - and that happened kind of naturally, with ginny telling you, once she realized it - so you’ve definitely figured out activities that the two of you do well together.

but, both of you value your independence and are totally fine for the other to do something without you - as long as they bring you food after, or at the very least, a good story.

i think that ginny loves your way with words - your writing and poetry is something she finds very sweet and interesting. she’s never been one to pour her heart on on a page, and to see you do that is something really special.

(don’t @ me, ginny send harry that poem when she was in her first year and then never did so again. she probably got a really bad taste in her mouth for writing down the her feelings - the diary, anyone?)

at least once, you have convinced ginny to try and write poetry, but she insists that it comes out all wrong - she’d much rather use something like songs - ideas already written down - to profess her love for you.

there’s a lot of dancing in the living room in your relationship, the music on full blast.

HP Marauder Era:

I ship you with Remus Lupin!

i kind of went in the opposite direction, but stick with me.

alright, so we all know that remus is an awkward mess when he’s first meeting people, but then he has the (quiet) confidence to rival his fellow marauders once he’s warmed up to you. i imagine you are much the same way, so i’m going to say that the two of you end up meeting because you have a class together and end up being partners after the marauders get split up. maybe charms? either way, the two of you meet and over the course of the week that you work together, you become comfortable and get to know each other alright.

but then, because i am a cruel writer, you don’t properly talk again until you are in the same apparition class. the two of you definitely see each other in the halls or you pass in the library and you’re kind to one another, but you don’t have drawn out conversations until you are learning to apparate, and you are terrified that you are going to get splinched.

(which is a valid fear, tbh, remember how susan bones legit lost a leg? and poor ron?)

remus is, again, assigned to be your partner (no doubt mcgonagall told the instructor to split up the marauders) and having been well versed in coping with paralyzing fear, he help you calm down and over the course of the class, gets you to apparate multiple times (enough to get your license) without having a single accident.

it’s also during this time that the two of you start hanging out more. a couple times the two of you skip lunch (which is right after your class) and head to the library or courtyard to work on homework or studying. you’re very clever and very creative in the way that you study, so you are a big help to remus, who is perpetually behind in school work.

and on your little study dates (which are not dates, it’s not like remus has had a crush on you for years or anything) you both realize that together your sarcasm is unparalleled. it’s enough to shock lily evans, who is known for her sharp tongue.

and you realize you really like this side of remus - you love all of his soft kindness, of course, but this? this is legendary. remus doesn’t hold back and his comments never fail to make you scoff and laugh in disbelief. he can be so savage in his remarks - it now makes sense why he is friends with the marauders.

eventually, you hear the marauders teasing him mercilessly about his crush on you - “ever since you were charms partners in 3rd year, moony!” - and he doesn’t even deny it.

and so you bring it up in some roundabout way the next time you’re walking to the quidditch pitch (you often keep him company when he has to support james’ matches) and remus stumbles over his confession, but you kiss him right as the game starts (and james is too busy rooting for remus that he gets hit with a bludger)

i can 100% see you and remus hanging out in the ravenclaw tower (it’s one of the few places he can go to escape his friends), reading or working on homework while listening to music. 

he especially loves musicals, and the two of you debate over what song in the show is the best, and whether contemporary musicals are better than golden age musicals. a lot of the time he’ll play devil’s advocate just because he loves the fervor with which you defend your opinions. 

[mystacoceti]

William H. Gass’s forward to The Making of Americans

The computer on which I am writing these words has a function which allows me to examine the layout of the page I am readying for the printer. Since this look at my text is so wide-eyed I cannot read a line, only view the lineup, a magnifying glass which I can draw down out of its shy place in the corner is provided to enlarge and make comprehensible some chose bit. Because Steven Meyer deals so wonderfully with the development and general themes of The Making of Americans, I thought I might take a moment to microscope a single sentence, one which he quotes, since that is convenient, and since it would be my contention that almost any sentence would yield the same results.

It should no longer be necessary to argue Gertrude Stein’s importance or insist upon her artistry, but I would like to highlight some of the remarkable aspects of Gertrude Stein’s prose; aspects which, if the reader pays attention to them, will slow her pace, but perhaps quicken her sense of the journey. The passage begins: “A man in his living has many things inside him . . .” (149). If we listen to this line, we shall discover how a real artist proceeds. If we look at this line (not merely read it), we shall find out how important looking as well as listening are to the understanding and appreciation of prose.

In one sense Gertrude Stein’s style is very plain, and she uses a severely limited vocabulary, but she also insists upon a colorless, somewhat vague language which is almost always oddly phrased—just far enough out of the ordinary to disconcert. If we hear that “a man’s gotta do what a man’s gotta do,” we know that the speaker is using this generalization to refer to himself (unless he is being ironic). Here the narrator is referring to David Hersland, and through him to the rest of us. Earlier the text has distinguished between home life, business life, midlife, and so on, but the categories have been expressed in a progressive way as “business living,” “middle living,” and “home living.” This usage is not customary. So the placement of the phrase “in his living” makes an otherwise straightforward sentence somewhat strange.

She does not write “A man through his living” because that would imply that a man’s way of life made him what he is. By emphasizing the preposition “in,” Stein suggests submergence and containment. A man’s living is larger than he is. “A man in his living has many things inside him . . .” Amanin, the music begins. The the is and the ms and the ns take over. a m an in h is l iv in g has man y th in gs in s id e h im.” The “in” in “living” and in “things” is not pronounced, but must be seen. The “man” in “man” changes to “men” in “many.” “A man in his living has men (ee th ings) inside him.” Both the look and the listen of the language matter. The “in” in “inside” and the “in” in “living” look alike but, in terms of sound, go their separate ways.

It is also typical of Gertrude Stein to employ quite colloquial expressions as technical terms “Does Merriweather have it in him to cross the country?” That is, does he have the gumption. Our selection continues (using a comma where a colon would normally be): “A man in his living has many things inside him, he has in him his important feeling of himself to himself inside him.” The schoolteacher would be expected to delete the the “in him,” because it is redundant, however this “in him” will be followed by ten more, as well as two that are submerged slightly in “inside him,” with the total number of “him”s reaching seventeen. One way or another the passage will beat away on im im im like a drum.

“A man in his living has many things inside him.” What things? “He has in him his important feelings of himself to himself inside him.” What’s that? “He has in him the kind of important feeling of himself to himself that makes his kind of man.” “In” looks its way out of “kind,” which sound the “I”—kEYEnduh. “Kinda” is the colloquial form. Meanwhile, against the in ims, and the narrow slit-shaped vowels, are increasingly placed the open os of “-port-” as well as the look-alike os of “of” and “to” with their uv oo music, and the rhyming of “come and “some” and “from,” as here: “this comes sometimes from a mixture in him of all the kinds of natures in him, this comes sometimes from the bottom nature in him, this comes sometimes from the natures in him that are in him that are sometime in him mixed up with the bottom nature in him.” You couldn’t spell “bot tom” better than it is.

We have shifted from “im” to “om”— that is, um, I’m. The function of “sometimes” (as common as “kinda”) changes, as the passage moves shrewdly from “himself” to “themselves.” “Sometimes in some men this other nature or natures in him are not mixed with the bottom nature in him at any time in his living.” The rhetoric has recaptured the opening formula. “Many of such men have the important feeling of themselves inside them coming from the other nature or natures in them not from the bottom nature of them.”

The sound shifts throughout follow and reinforce the sense. The sound connection slink the language into one melodic line, and the repetitions return us in the manner of the baroque to early elements over which we pass again like swifts in flight.

In this spindle diagram (so named because we can run our eye, the way one used to be able to thrust a knitting needle through holes punched in IBM cards, down common points of verbal return to see how the sentence revolves, eighteen “in”s and thirteen “him”s line up on the right side, and these “him”s are not the half of it, since four more can be found in the expression “important feeling of himself to himself,” giving “him” those seventeen appearances I mentioned, while “nature” has to be satisfied with eight, “sometimes” with five, and “bottom” four. the “his/this” combination is also frequent (eight).

We could easily draw up a phrase diagram, which wouldn’t split “in his living” and other grammatical combinations the way the spindle layout does, arranging the groups as the paragraph balances them throughout its length. assonance, consonance, rhyme, rhythm, repetition, phrase placement, the movement of singulars to plurals, the elaborate colloquial vagueness of reference, the careful distinctions which underlie the meaning, are used together to give emotional weight to the journey—in this case a short passage of analysis, but one which mimics the movement of life itself—a trip which trips over itself, aims at a target reflected in a mirror, returns, redoes, as habits do, when we shave ourselves, or powder our cheeks and comb our hair again, though one more day has passed, because life belongs to the progressive present, it is living, but living is “same after same,” it is variations on a theme, a deep theme, made of the mixtures of natures, it is a round, it is fugal, like the ring which Gertrude made to round her roses, and it gives rise to the feeling that, as automatic as habit is, as if it were in charge of each action, and therefore of most of life—our clamorous family of familiar, customary gestures, squalls and bites—it is nevertheless we who run the comb’s teeth through our hair, it is we who grimace in the glass, feeling always who we are despite the mechanics of our motions, the repetitions which sum a life: “Some can remember something of some such thing,” she writes; however just how does this feeling arise while scraping carrots, preparing dinner, kissing, as always, with puckered lips, so as not to get too intimate—the whore’s reserve—how does it happen that we feel we are present in a present our reruns make us absent from? shifting gears, poking in a purse, lighting up, the same creases from the same sheets in the same sleep wrinkling our bare back, so that we recognize even the rare as regular—that’s the danger—not even sighing when someone says: “your voice sounds better through the mail; and we continue simply to continue, continue to feel a sip’s a sip, the same as always, yet just this one, cool and pale, though another, cool and pale will follow, as we’ve always done, wine at five in a fine glass, because if it didn’t arise, if the feeling failed to materialize, we’d be good as dead, a phonograph, rounding on itself silently, making no music, though the needle wears and the grooves deepened and the table’s turning slows to let us know that something’s happened, something of notably no importance.

In the sentence which follows the one which Steven Meyer and I quote and comment on, another variation on the same words, another teasing of meaning out into the open, another singing of the nearly same song, occurs:

Many men has sometime in their living the important feeling of themselves to themselves inside them, some men have always this feeling inside them, most men have such a feeling more or less in them, perhaps all men and mostly all women have sometime in them a feeling of themselves to themselves inside them; this comes sometimes from a mixture in them of the kind of natures in them, this comes sometimes from the bottom nature of them, this comes sometimes from the natures in them that are mixed up with the bottom natures of them, sometimes in some of them the other nature or natures in them are not mixed with the bottom nature in them, many of such of them have the important feeling of themselves inside them coming from the other natures not from the bottom nature of them.

In the great dirge which concluded The Making of Americans, in the surge of life in the ending of it, the answer is given, and we can hear it: consciousness is like the  music of the words, for in them, and in their pace, and in their arrangement, their rhetoric, their repetitions, the patterns they lay down, in their prolonged investigation of nuance, of the subtle differences in sameness, in the in of “in” itself, lies the wonderful, the saving rainbow of awareness, the presence of force and feeling; but what should anyone expect me to say, except to say “style”—style is consciousness, arising from relation, from the way this syllable connects with that, or cell with cell until the brain bursts into seeing, with sentences whose shape is their understanding, like one which declares, as Stein might, my knowing that I am going, though I go, is never gone, if my going, and my knowing, are strongly sung. She says:

Family living can be existing and any one can come to be a dead one and every one is then a dead one and there are then not any more being living. Any old one can come to be a dead one. Every old one can come to be a dead one. Any family being existing is one having some being then not having come to be a dead one. Any family living can be existing when not every one has come to be a dead one. Every one in a family living having come to be dead ones some are remembering something of some such thing. Some being living not having come to be dead ones can be ones being in a family living. Some being living and having come to be old ones can come then to be dead ones. Some being living and being in a family living and coming then to be old ones can come then to be dead ones. Any one can be certain that some can remember such a thing. Any family living can be one being existing and some can remember something of some such thing. (925)

A routine—a rite, a rigamarole—of this kind is a recognition, a recognition which is one of a kind, though every word is old and overused and one, each perception trite, and each sorrow common. Any and every one of us will die, but only a few, a small sum at any time, can remember—really remember—something of some such thing: when our organs no longer peal, when our words no longer rhyme.