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write-it-good-imagines · 22 days ago

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Nothing More (M) - Eight [END]

(Author's message) Hello everyone! I wish you a happy new year, and may all your wishes come true! This is the end of Mark and Sam's story; endings may often look to new beginnings *wink wink*. Enjoy!

~7k words - fluff, love, mature language, happy ending.

"I'm telling you, I can't get out of the fucking house. They're behind all these trees with the fucking lens pointed at me!"

Samantha's expression was exasperated. Checking her watch one more time, she pointed out that she would definitely be late for her morning surgery if that charade continued. It seemed like it had no intention of ending.

"It's 6 AM in the fucking morning."

"Do you want me to come pick you up?"

"No, Jonathan, did you forget what we talked about last night?"

"I could come pick you up," Leena's voice chimed into the conversation. "Unless they want to write you off as female-oriented or whatever."

In any given situation, Samantha would have laughed at that.

"It's funny, I'll give you that."

"Did you call Mark?" Jonathan picked up.

"I will not bother him on his Tokyo Day concert."

"I have no problem bothering him."

"Jonathan, what can Mark possibly do in this situation?"

"Have a bodyguard army at your door? Just sayin'."

"Yeah, sure, shove the shit while it's warm.”

Samantha grabbed a hat hanging from the coat rack and leaned to the floor to pick Murphy up in her arms. He'd grown larger since her and Mark's first encounter, and he sensed something was off as he started snarling.

"We don't know what to say, Sam." Leena interfered. "Is there anything we can do to help you feel better?"

The Eskie tensed his body at the door when Samantha finished attaching his leash. If not for the fact that he would grow into a medium-sized dog, his black fur would make him look intimidating. "I have absolutely no idea. I have to walk Murphy, and I genuinely hope they will not shove some microphones in my face."

"An emergency case with intracranial pressure just came in. I'll ask Leena to page me in the OR if you need us to get you out of anything."

Samantha put on a mask over her features and shoved the hat better on her head. She opened the door reluctantly, and Murphy took the lead to sniff around for any immediate dangers. "You can't let an open brain hang in the OR."

"I'll page Henry to come in."

Samantha scoffed. "You'd sooner die."

"I promised your mighty knight I'd take care of you. If that means making peace with the enemy, I will."

"Whatever you do, just don't do that. I don't want him to hang any more things over our heads. We have too much on our plate right now." Samantha emphasized and followed Murphy on his well-known morning route around the house. When the morning air brushed against her thighs, did she realize she had gone out in her worn-out shorts.

"Watch me be fat now," she mumbled to herself and felt the pressure of the surrounding eyes on the back of her head. The Eskie started barking, and Samantha had to pet him to ease him. They hadn't passed the 200-meter mark away from Samantha's house and turned back around hastily. The woman caught a released flash aimed at her silhouette and was inches away from throwing both the mask and the hat away to give the paparazzi what they wanted and, highly likely, a middle finger, too.

She refrained from doing so.

While packing for the hospital Samantha pondered over the situation. Caught in an unusual position, neither alleged violence nor friendliness towards the press seemed to be the proper way of moving forward. She laughed to herself, albeit bitterly; being a celebrity’s girlfriend seemed to require PR training. “Comes with the job,” Samantha chose a black suit for the day and hurriedly put all her belongings into the hospital bag. She put on the motorcycle helmet and kicked the gear off to head to the hospital.

The clock in the hospital lobby signaled that she had barely made it in time for the scheduled surgery she had. The lobby was quiet for a week morning, which allowed her to gather her thoughts and get into the zone. Samantha visited her patient for the morning consult to offer the reassurance she had always inspired before any surgery. She assembled her team and instructed the nurses on what routine they had to follow, and then left for the antechamber of the operating room to change her attire and prepare accordingly.

Samantha pushed the door with her shoulder only to be met by a very familiar yet unpleasant figure.

“I haven’t even had my coffee yet, Henry.”

Henry was leaning against the wall, arms folded over his chest. Maybe it was Samantha’s imagination, but he was not wearing his endearing expression. He seemed displeased.

“Neither have I. It’s hard to catch you around these parts, Sam.”

“And you figured you’d barge into my C-section.”

Henry sighed. “I didn’t come here to fight.”

The sound of flowing water interrupted their exchange as Samantha kicked the water tank to disinfect her hands. “Lucky me. Then you might as well leave.”

“I’ll ignore this comment for now.”

Samantha was silent, brushing her nails with the betadine sponge.

“How does it feel to be a public person now?”

Ah. So that was it about.

“Why? Jealous?”

“You’ll probably be scrutinized.”

Samantha coked her eyebrow. “Probably.”

“Even with that bartender, though. Was he easy meat?”

Samantha chuckled. “I imagine I hurt your feelings quite badly, ditching the infamous rising star for a handsome bartender.”

Henry angled his body towards her. “Do you really want to become an object?”

Samantha kicked the water tank again to wipe her hands off the substance surplus.

“Oh? I was not aware I was anything else but an object to you.”

“…I’m sorry.”

Samantha chuckled again and grabbed a clean cloth to dry her hands. “We’re a bit late for that, don’t you think?”

Henry’s eyes fell on her face. Samantha knew that not getting what he wanted threw him off. It had always been like that; until she chose to be the bigger person and dropped her guard to bring them both together again. It was a long time coming to this point, but Samantha was happy to have finally reached it.

“I would have understood choosing Jonathan, with you getting intimate and all that. He’s tall, he’s Swedish, he makes a lot of money, and he was truly eating from the palm of your hand. I just can’t wrap my head around why this guy. What does he have to offer you?”

A content smile spread rapidly on Samantha’s face, and she kicked the OR door open triumphantly. “You’d never understand what it takes to be a real man, Henry.”

The surgery ended smoothly, and Samantha felt happy to see yet another family welcoming their precious angel to the world. After introducing the infant to the parents, Samantha took the baby and the family to the NICU to perform a couple of routine tests. All the nurses greeted Samantha with a serene smile and handed the little patients’ charts to their doctor. The image of a new life, of hopeful dreams and futures, reminded Samantha why she chose the profession in the first place. And why she would never give it up again for anything in the world.

“Doctor Stoss, your phone is buzzing,” a nurse called out, and Samantha put the charts down to pick it up.

[From: Mark] good morning, fair doctor

[From: Mark] I hope your day will be as fantastic as you

[From: Mark] the news hit us here, too. How are you? Can I do anything for you?

[From: Mark] I’ll drop my statement today. We’re wrapping up the text

Samantha softly smiled. Despite it being quite an autonomous evolution of things, she was happy that Mark kept her in his thoughts. She knew he was holding on as much as he could, for the both of them.

[To: Mark] good morning rockstar

[To: Mark] I know you’ll kick ass on stage <3

[To: Mark] ah well, you know, being photographed at 6 AM while walking Murphy is not exactly my cup of tea

[To: Mark] I have this impulse to throw up my middle finger but whatever

[From: Mark] thanks love <3

[From: Mark] lol that’s me everyday

[From: Mark] I wish I could say it will get better

[From: Mark] we’ll see each other at the end of the week

[From: Mark] I can’t wait to get back to you

[From: Mark] can I do anything for you in the meantime?

A giggle filled the room and caused one of the babies in the NICU to smile as well.

“Oh? Is the Seoul concert at the end of the week? I should call Jo.”

Samantha decided not to tell Mark she would join them at the venue. She wanted to surprise him and prove to him that she was not scared of the curious public if she had him by her side.

[To: Mark] I’m cool with it, really

[To: Mark] I only care about what you think of me

[To: Mark] can’t wait to have you back, babe

[To: Mark] don’t worry. Jonathan is ready to throw hands if needed

[To: Mark] maybe lmk if I need to speak to the public or something

[To: Mark] Jackson told me I shouldn’t but I want to make sure

[From: Mark] atta girl

[From: Mark] I’d rather he wouldn’t punch anyone, but I’ll give a pass if needed

[From: Mark] let’s wait and see how things go

[From: Mark] gtg we’re rehearsing soon

[From: Mark] I love you

Samantha’s face lit up once more. [To: Mark] I love you too

Mark put his phone to the side to reunite with the group. There was a loud echo in the empty venue coming from the usage of the microphones with Bambam and Yugyeom playing around.

“Hear hear, all of us here?”

Mark picked up his microphone and went to the middle of the main stage, where the rest of the members and some other staff members were.

“Now that we’re all here,” Jaebum started, “let’s give Mark a round of applause.”

“Come on,” Mark rolled his eyes at the cheers and the hoots. “There was no need to do this.”

Bambam snickered and leaned against his shoulder, “Call it initiation.”

“Actually,” Mark continued, “I have something to say.”

All eyes turned to him. “I want to use the speech break we have to initiate our fans as well.”

“Do you think I should put my Instagram on private?”

“Oh, did the hate comments come in already?”

“Not really. A measure of precaution after Mark speaks to the public and whatnot.”

Jonathan quickly searched for Samantha on Instagram even though he had already been following her. Leena had just arrived with her lunch and blinked confusedly at the gloomy atmosphere.

“What is going on? It feels like someone’s cat died.”

“You have 40k followers. What the hell? Did you have this many before the news broke out?”

Samantha sighed. “I did. Did you forget I used to write travel blogs and give medicine tips and tricks? Besides, it’s mostly people back in America.”

Leena reached out for her phone to look up Samantha on Instagram, too. “Never mind, you just got 1k more.”

“Do you guys think I looked ugly in my posts or something? Am I overthinking?”

“You are overthinking. You have always been smart and pretty,” Jonathan concluded and tended to his soup.

“Sure, watch my cellulite pop off in this morning’s pictures.”

Samantha picked up her chopsticks to drown the sorrow in her sushi.

“Your legs are too toned for anything to be shown in those pictures,” Leena retorted and picked up her salad. “And I thought you only cared for what Mark thought of you.”

“Social pressure,” the other woman sighed. “How can you both be so calm about this?”

“Sam, you’re turning into a 2024 Carrie,” Jonathan laughed. “I can be your Miranda if you want.”

“Fuck off,” both her and Leena laughed. The latter turned to Samantha, “Look, of course this situation is shitty, but I don’t think being depressed about it helps too much.”

“Leena’s right. Did you notice how people look at me in the street? I feel like I’m Loch Ness.”

“I wouldn’t say Loch Ness is a Swedish story.”

Samantha fiddled with her chopsticks and kept on twisting one piece of sushi into way too much soy sauce. She decided she would change the subject. “Henry came into my OR in the morning.”

Jonathan’s face visibly darkened. “Oh yeah? Whatever did he want this time?”

“You know, the usual. Taunting me about the public exposure. And to apologize.”

Jonathan choked on his chicken. “Funny. Next time, warn me, or I could die.”

“I’m serious. He literally said I’m sorry.”

“Mhm. Wanted to return the investment on that engagement ring.”

It was Samantha’s turn to choke. Leena turned to Jonathan abruptly. “What engagement ring? For whom?”

“A couple of days ago, when he confronted Mark in the lobby. I saw this velvety box he was showing Mark, and my guy laughed in his face. I wish I heard what he said.”

“Mark didn’t tell me about this.”

“Can you blame him? It’s just a bad joke.”

Samantha pondered over Jonathan’s words, trying to rake her mind for any such memory. Mark never told her about Henry’s plans, admittedly so, since he had come for her to end things that night. He truly had better things to worry about.

“Bad joke or no, he’s just grabbed his lunch,” Leena signaled and pointed her fork in Henry’s direction. “And he’s coming this way.”

“Perfect. I wanted to throw up this sweet chicken anyway.”

Samantha caught Henry with the corner of her eye as he sat down to her left and subsequently to Jonathan’s right. On the one hand, their behavior towards one another was still childish. On the other hand, Samantha knew Jonathan had many concerns left to address about Henry. With his fists if possible.

“Mind if I join you?” asked Henry, and Leena quirked her brows.

“I do mind,” Jonathan retorted, not bothering to look at the other. “So kindly find another table.”

“But all other tables are busy, unfortunately,” Henry replied calmly whilst opening his lunch box. “And I’d rather eat lunch in this nice company. Isn’t that so, Miss Martin?”

Leena raised her eyes to the other only to see Jonathan put down his fork. “Don’t talk to her.”

“Who are you to speak on her behalf?” Henry challenged, shoving a handful of food in his mouth.

Leena felt Jonathan was being worked up and rested her hand against his forearm. She shook her head in a silent plea not to engage in the other’s antics. Especially since the first hearing for the Neuro attending position would happen later that day. Henry noticed the intimate gesture and a smirk was contoured in the corner of his mouth.

“Sam, we just finished anyway. We’ll see you later.”

“I see that you’re not answering questions anymore, Jonathan. Cat got your tongue?”

Jonathan stretched his body from the table and cupped Leena’s cheek with a tender touch. “I’m sorry if I taste like sweet chili.” He went further to lean down and kiss Leena, who was taken entirely by surprise. Jonathan grabbed Leena by the hand and walked away, dragging the blushing woman with him.

Samantha chuckled and nodded approvingly.

“As flamboyant as usual,” Henry resumed his eating.

“Hope you got the message. Imagine what he'd do for her if he hit you in the face for me.”

Samantha was prepared to grab her tray and leave, but Henry stopped her. He grabbed her by the wrist, his eyes pleading.

“Could you stay until I finish my meal?”

“No, I don’t think I will.”

“Please.”

Curious eyes, having already witnessed Jonathan’s show of power, followed the two surgeons, and Samantha had to compromise to avoid attracting any more attention. Given the circumstances, it was extremely important not to do so.

“I don’t want to threaten you or anything, Henry, but Mark won’t keep quiet if you keep pulling off this bullshit. Didn’t I tell you I want nothing to do with you?”

“I heard you the first time.”

“Then why do you keep following me?”

Henry put down his cutlery. “I missed you. I haven’t talked to you in a long time. I have things to say to you.”

Samantha scoffed. “Even if you did have things to say, it’s too late for me to listen, Henry.”

“Is it really?” Henry turned to her, capturing her gaze. “Are you absolutely sure this guy is not just some bandage for you?”

“Is this why you bought me an engagement ring?”

Henry hesitated.

“You can throw it away or return it. Recycling it on the next girl would be very bad just because you didn’t pull me.”

“Look, Sam,” Henry sighed and brought his hands together. “I admit, I thought I could have you back if I came back into your life. I was selfish and inconsiderate.”

“Are. You are selfish and inconsiderate.”

“Just tell me, it’s all I want to know. I promise I’ll leave you the fuck alone and only see you when we see each other in the hospital hallways.”

“Fine,” Samantha leaned on the table to look him straight in the eye. “I am in love with Mark. He is putting me back together, and he’s healing me after all the shit you put me through. I couldn’t care less if I’m targeted by the media or not because I have him, and that’s all that matters.”

Henry nodded, and his eyes fell to his knees. “I regret ever raising my hand at you. I was stupid and too self-absorbed to know the kind of treasure I had by my side.”

Samantha nodded, too, and pulled the chair back. In the thousand scenarios she made up in her mind of how that kind of conversation would go, she imagined feeling more at peace with herself as if all the lost time would be pouring back. There was no human manner to explain how empty Henry’s apology left her. That’s when she realized that hate was an expensive emotion.

“Is this all?”

Henry chuckled. “Actually, no. You know the attending committee is happening today.”

“I know. And I hope you know who my support is for.”

“There’s an accident that’s happened just now in Jeju and a helicopter picked up two patients for transfer to SMP. The first victim is a female patient, pregnant with twins seven months along, with a severe injury to the head.”

Samantha knew where that was going.

“I’ll gladly pass this up.”

“The other victim is a male patient with severe chest injuries and a broken head, with no immediate identification of brain injury risk. I suppose someone would need to drain some fluid and release his intracranial pressure. Of course this is not an attending level procedure. I recommended Jonathan to operate for the first victim. And, of course, he will need an OBGYN specialist with him to deliver the babies safely. He should have been paged by now.”

Samantha looked at Henry as if she could not understand the words he was speaking. Her pager started beeping too.

“I’d better get ready for surgery, too. I assume Miss Martin is going to be my cardiologist, and I hope we can avoid a pit fight between Jonathan and me.”

“I don’t understand. Why do this?”

Henry rose to his feet just as the emergency signal hit his pager, too. “I’m aware you don’t believe in my words anymore. I hope this will let you know I am not an incurable asshole.”

The delirious acclamations of the fans asking for another encore were still shaking the arena when the boys came backstage at the end of their concert. There was a general frenzy in the group, wide smiles and full laughter mirrored on their expressions. Mark had all the reasons to be happy and hopeful for the future. As promised early in the day, he prepared earnestly to deliver a sincere speech to the audience, announcing he had found his sweetheart. In a solidarity act and more so to display their unwavering support for one another, the members formed a circle around Mark on stage, who could only smile bashfully.

I’m sure many of you have already found out, despite my best wishes, that I have found someone that I cherish with my whole heart.

The stadium burst into a torrent of cheers and screams, all hands brought together to clap for Mark. All of Got7 radiated of gratitude, especially Jackson who had an I told you so expression on his face.

You already know, guys, how much love and respect I have for you and how grateful I am for your support throughout these beautiful years we spent together. I want you to know I’m in good hands now and we are both looking forward to the future. And for this I know that I’ll only continue to grow as an artist and person. I bow to all of you.

“That couldn’t have gone better,” Jackson shook Mark by his shoulders jokingly, then threw an arm around him. “I am thrilled for you, man.”

Jinyoung passed by to pat Mark on the back and met him with a genuine smile of his own.

“Let’s see what’s going on SNS,” Bambam chirped and reached for his phone. “Oh my God, guys, there was a terrible accident in Jeju.”

The boys gathered around Bambam to check the news. Jaebum read the victims’ descriptions scarcely. “They’ve gone to SMP. Look who’s operating on them.”

As Bam scrolled further in the article, Mark noticed that the director of the hospital gave a statement to the press. He described both Samantha and Jonathan as their brightest assets and most priceless talents.

“Oh look, an update came in. Surgery’s done.”

“Do you think it’s live on any news channel?” Youngjae pointed out and sneakily used his credentials to log into the radio station's news portal where he was a moderator. To everyone’s surprise, Samantha was being interviewed live. She was still dressed in her surgical attire, but Mark found her breathtaking nonetheless.

The crowd gathered around the phone. “Turn up the volume!”

“Two patients were brought in by helicopter around 12:30 this afternoon, sustaining grave injuries after an unfortunate accident in Jeju. There was a female patient, 7 months pregnant with twins, who had severe trauma to the head. Doctor Williams and I brought her in for critical tests, and we decided to operate immediately. I am happy to announce that the surgery was successful, and we brought two beautiful boys into the world. It was a bit earlier than expected, but I am doing everything in my capacity to keep them healthy and happy. Doctor Williams saved the mother, and all three of them are out of immediate danger.”

A collective applause could be heard backstage. “Her Korean is so good,” Jinyoung remarked, and Mark felt like the fog between them was clearing little by little.

“Bastards, they are asking her about the dating scandal,” Yugyeom said, and it grabbed everyone’s attention.

“I will only take questions about this family’s situation. I believe that all of us here are professionals, and we should treat the situation as such. I wish to thank everyone for your support in the matter. Another question, please?”

“Get it, girl!” Bambam cheered, and Jackson laughed proudly at the witty answer.

Mark’s lungs deflated with a content sigh.

“Man, I wish I was this cool,” Jaebum chuckled and turned to Mark. “Did you talk about this?”

“Nope. I didn’t tell her what to say. It’s pure skill.”

The rest of the interview went along with medical questions, and Youngjae ended the stream. “Yeah, for real, she’s a star.”

Mark picked up his own phone to dial Samantha’s number. “She truly is.”

“Hey, Mark!”

He picked up a sliver of insecurity in her voice. “Hey beautiful, we caught the interview with the boys. In their own terms, you’re a star.”

Mark allowed her to speak at her own pace. “You think so? I’m scared I messed up shutting them off like that.”

“On the contrary. None of us here could have done better.”

“Damn right we couldn’t!” Bambam shouted in Mark’s ear, making sure his message would come across. “Come on, just put her on speaker!”

Knowing Mark had no way out, he complied with the request. “You’re on speaker, Sam.”

“Oh, come on! I’ve been a celebrity for a day, and I’m already better than you all?”

“Don’t let it get to your head, babe,” Mark laughed, and Jackson chimed in. “You know, Bam asked us a couple of days ago if you have any single girlfriend you might introduce him to.”

Samantha laughed at the expense of Bambam’s embarrassment. “I know who to call first thing then! Lovely chatting with you boys, but I have to go. I need to tend to the twins in the NICU. I’ll text you later, love.”

“Talk to you soon, princess.”

Deeper into the night, when the hectic schedule of the day died down and both surgeries finished with happy endings, Samantha and Leena grasped the chance to take a breather. The two women crowded Leena’s office to enjoy a late-night latte on the balcony.

“Just the thought of me having to tend to the night shift tonight is killing me,” Samantha groaned and leaned against the cold balustrade. “I have six babies to care for, not to mention to monitor the twins 24/7.”

“Didn’t you miss the thrill of this?”

Samantha switched her position to look up to the starry sky. “I did.”

Leena smiled and nudged the other’s hip with her own. “I heard about the interview. You kicked ass!”

The other laughed. “Allegedly. I still don’t know how I came across. Although, being a witch bitch doesn’t sit that wrong with me.”

“If we’re being honest, you’ve always had this aura about yourself.”

“Leena!”

The cardiologist sipped from her cup. “No offense.”

“None taken,” smiled Samantha. “So, you and Jonathan, huh?”

“Oh, shut up about it. I didn’t imagine our first kiss would be like that.”

Samantha leaned closer to Leena. “It was kinda hot.”

“It was! I thought he was dragging me along to have sex, but we got paged.”

“Nah, he would want to make a show out of asking you to be his girlfriend, and then the sex would follow.”

Leena just agreed. “I hope he’d let me prepare. I have a cute lingerie set I saved. We should tell Jo, she would go crazy about this.”

“I completely forgot. Jonathan spoke with her, and she bought two tickets for the concert on Friday.”

Leena gasped with a feigned look on her face. “Did she really not think about inviting me too?”

“Maybe I shouldn’t tell you this, but Jonathan planned something for Friday. She sold the other ticket.”

A white lie, Samantha thought. But it was a good occasion for Jonathan to meet Leena in her special lingerie set.

“It’s time for me to clock out. I’m exhausted,” spoke Leena while stretching her back. “I’ll call Jo tomorrow myself.”

As Leena left the office, Samantha quickly texted Jonathan to announce his newly made plans to him. While the phone was buzzing with Jonathan’s messages, she dialed Jo. It did not take long for her to pick up, with an ecstatic voice.

“Last time I saw you, you were gearing up to be a surgeon, and now you’re a celebrity girlfriend!”

“Missed you too, Jo,” Samantha countered with a chuckle. “Quite a lot has happened since we spoke last. Is this a bad time?”

“No, dear, I just finished a meeting with a client. You know it’s morning over here in Manhattan.”

Samantha checked her watch. It should have been early 9 AM for Jo. “You’re flying out here Friday and you didn’t bother to tell us in due time?”

Jo laughed at the other end of the line. “You know me, I love surprises. I’ll be 6 months in Seoul, and we have plenty of time to catch up! I’m going to work on a digital branding initiative with a big skincare company, and they paid pretty money for me to join them there. I rented a place close to yours, thanks to Johnny.”

“I take it you’re a millionaire now, are you not?”

“I’m not too shabby, I’d say.”

The women laughed heartily.

“I missed you, Sam. Can’t wait for us to catch up. Especially about your new lover.”

“Never beating around the bush, huh Jo?” chuckled Samantha.

“You know, maybe you could introduce me to Jackson while we’re at it. I’m kidding, of course.”

Samantha’s pager beeped; the medical team requested her presence in the NICU. “Mhm, might fuck around and kiss Jackson kind of kidding?”

“Come on, honey. You know I am a serious businesswoman.”

Friday came as a surprise to Samantha. She felt as if the rest of the week had passed at the speed of light. She took a well-deserved day off to sleep in and relax properly in the morning for a long, incoming night. Even if the paparazzi were faithfully waiting to catch a glimpse of her while walking Murphy, she paid less attention to them and more to her little guy. Samantha remembered Mark's words; it would not get easier, but she would grow accustomed to the unwanted notoriety. She thought they would have to get bored with her at some point.

Samantha prepared a quick lunch and played an episode of a podcast she liked to try to forget that she did not have appropriate clothes for a concert. Since joining the SMP, she had switched her entire wardrobe to formal and office attire. A long-forgotten box of clothes lay in the attic, and she hoped she would find some decent jeans and a blouse. Samantha was satisfied to find a vintage pair of ripped jeans and a glittery pink crop corset. She paired the corset with a crop black transparent bolero to cover her arms. She ultimately decided against heels and removed her black Air Jordan from an adjacent box.

Just as Samantha finished touching up her loose curls, the phone buzzed with a call.

"Jo, what's up? I'm almost ready."

"Almost ready?!" Jo almost screamed on the other line. "Sam, I'm first in line. To enter the stadium."

"You're crazy. The concert is two hours away from starting."

"You're the crazy one," Jo retorted matter-of-factly. "There's already hundreds of people queuing up behind me."

"Yikes," Samantha laughed. "I'm leaving soon; I'll get there pretty fast, I think."

"It looks like the boys finished their sound check, and they are letting people enter. I'll make sure to get the best spot!"

"When did you even get ready? Didn't you fly in like... three hours ago?"

Jo laughed. "There are many things you can do in a 15-hour flight. I made sure to fly premium to use the cup holders for my makeup."

By the time Samantha arrived, the queue had certainly grown longer than when she spoke to Jo on the phone. She was lucky the venue personnel were professionals, and the queue moved quickly on all six entrances. The stubborn sun would have otherwise ruined her hair and make-up with its warmth. When she finally entered the stadium, she was surprised to find various chairs prepared at key points of the area to rest and enjoy the concert. The suggestive map at the entrance helped her move around fast and find her designated area.

It was not hard to spot Jo in the crowd. A carmine corset hugged her torso, and the endearing side cuts starting at the thigh on her straight-leg fabric trousers left just enough space for the imagination to kick in. Her gingerbread hair, pulled into a ponytail, outlined all her defined features.

"If you planned to seduce any of the single members tonight, you have a high chance of success. With the eyeliner and the red lipstick, I would make out with you now."

Jo turned around at the familiar voice and pulled Samantha into a hug. "You think so? Maybe the corset was a bit too much?"

"You wouldn't have it any other way."

Jo gestured for Samantha to do a pirouette so she could admire her friend in her entirety. "You are so pretty! I missed you so much, Sam. And look, just as I promised, we can breathe in their perfume here!"

Indeed, as Jo pointed out, the two women were inches away from the main stage. Samantha was confident that she would grab Mark's attention and at least make a heart for him.

"How are you? How's life in Manhattan? I swear you just dropped off the face of the planet."

"I'm sorry," Jo took Samantha by the hand and brought her closer to the metal prompt where her carmine office jacket was. True to her image, "The last couple of months were absolutely insane for my firm. I booked in 5-figure contracts and brought many people to the team. I was drowning to do it all alone. My dream is coming along pretty well."

Samantha squeezed her hand. "I'm so happy for you. I can't wait to see what seeds you bring to life."

"We have all the time in the world now," Jo smiled. "How are you, girl? I think you finally found your happy place here."

Samantha nodded. "I think so, too. There's a big chance I'll become an attending soon. And I think I finally found someone after my own heart."

A loud, rhapsodic noise broke into the arena when all lights suddenly turned down to cue the band's entrance to the stage. "I booked a table at Timber House after the concert to catch up and drink to the morning, just like we used to do."

Samantha agreed with the other's proposition and turned her attention to the stage. All the boys were dressed in deluxe concert attire. Samantha's eyes immediately found Mark. He was excited but collected, happy but professional. His eyes were refreshed, and he had a beautiful vitality about him.

I am coming home tonight, love. Just one more stop.

"You're home," Samantha whispered as the music started playing and the concert kicked off.

The atmosphere was simply dynamic. All the fans in the venue cheered tirelessly to show their support for the band. Jo and Samantha had a great time together, dancing and singing their hearts out to the music. The first half of the concert passed in the blink of an eye, and a small costume break was due for the second part. To keep the spirit alive, Jackson rejuvenated the full stadium. "How are we doing tonight, Seoul city?"

An outburst of joy saturated the arena.

"This is Page."

"Oh, this is my favorite song of theirs!" Jo cheered and indulged in the warmth of the concert lights.

Now that they could see better into the crowd, all the boys got closer to the fans. They pointed to funny banners in the crowd, got closer to take selfies with the fans, and spread their joy to the depths of the stadium. Mark got closer to where Jo and Samantha were and shared smiles and waves everywhere, but his mouth dropped in surprise. The all-familiar figure shared a hand-shaped heart with him, making him laugh. Samantha was, too, while grooving to the music.

Mark lost no time to run down from the stage into the crowd where his lover was. She looked so different in her laid-back attire, cheerful in pink, with a beam that could light up his whole world. Except she already did. Jo lost no time to get out her phone and prepare it for what was to become the best picture she had ever taken. Samantha was unprepared for the passionate hug Mark pulled her into, so bare and so bold in front of sixty thousand people, to declare their young love once and for all.

"I think I love you," Mark whispered along to Jackson's verse. He touched Samantha's face gently to pull her into a kiss, and a white spotlight now protected their love. As the boys realized what was happening, they gathered around the part of the stage where the couple was; Bambam and Yugyeom were taking their picture from all possible angles, Jaebum was singing his verse, and Jinyoung playfully interrupted their moment.

"Mark, you have to sing your part now."

And Mark sang his part, looking into his lover's eyes, his hand holding tightly onto hers. It was safe to say Samantha was as proud as she was embarrassed. Before leaving, Mark left a loving peck on her cheek and reluctantly departed from her to return to the stage. Most members cheerfully spread to other parts of the arena; only Jackson trailed behind.

To the untrained eye, Jackson seemed to be waiting to reunite with Mark. To Jo's eyes, he seemed enthralled by her feminine aura and by the alluring glint in her mahogany irises. The woman gave him a playful wink and a graceful smile, and she could swear he returned the favor. It was further clarified when Jackson returned to the same part of the stage to sing his next verse while stealing glances at Samantha's mysterious friend. When the song finally ended, and a rupture of applause echoed in the stadium, Jo turned to Samantha.

"You will not believe how beautiful these pictures are!"

"What just happened?" Samantha was still confused about Mark's sudden daring gesture, so she wrapped her friend in a hug.

"I am so ecstatic for you, Sam! This was so fucking romantic."

"Listen, am I delirious, or did Jackson wink at you?"

Jo looked at the stage as the boys prepared their free speech segment.

"I am sure he did 'cause I did it first."

Samantha smirked at her friend and turned her attention to the group. Bambam was the first to speak.

"Mark, you should have warned us we would be full of love tonight!"

Jackson looked at Bambam more closely and started laughing. Yugyeom pointed that out to him. "It was too much love that his zipper broke."

"It's not our first time, don't worry," Jinyoung continued. The group gathered around to shield Bambam and tie his jacket around his waist.

Jackson made sure his microphone was further away from his mouth and leaned over to Mark. "Who's the lady with Sam over there?"

"I've never met her. She mentioned a friend from the States was coming over to Seoul for a while. It could be her."

The leader heard their conversation, and Jackson anticipated that he would possibly make a joke on the matter. Jackson laughed and pleaded with his eyes.

"We're set now," Bambam broke the moment, and Jaebum was happy to skip away. "I'm sorry for the inconvenience."

A loud and almost angry What inconvenience? scream came from the audience, causing the group to snicker. The seven men formed a line to salute the crowd and do their intro.

"Now that we all witnessed this beautiful moment," Jaebum started, "I'm sure Mark would like to say some words."

"I'm sure Mark wouldn't," he joked, and Samantha giggled. "There's no turning back now, I guess."

Similar to what the group did in Japan, the boys gathered around Mark, who cleared his throat.

"First things first, we're happy to be back here in Seoul," Mark said, waiting for the cheers to subside. Personally, I'm very happy to be back here, back to the person who stole my heart and ran away with it."

Mark pointed in Samantha's direction, and the latter funneled her hands around her mouth to reply. "I'm right here, Mark!"

The members approved joyfully.

"So, uh," Mark continued with a satisfied smile, "I hope you'll treat us well and cheer for us in the future. We've all been together through the good and bad, and I hope you'll keep us in your prayers from now on, too. As Jinyoung once said, we did not come together to release an album. We decided to release an album to be together. And I don't know what else could speak more about the family that we are."

The concert ended in high spirits, with the energy growing by the minute until it reached its peak and kept on going to the end. The two women were escorted by security backstage, where the group retreated. They witnessed a celebration more intimate than the one prepared by the fans onstage for Mark's upcoming birthday early the following week. Jinyoung noticed the women and silently guided them closer to the group, where Mark and the lovely cake were. Jo remained in the back between Jinyoung and Jackson, and the boys made way for Samantha to get closer to her lover.

"That was an amazing concert, guys," Jo congratulated the group, not addressing anyone in particular; another person speaking fluent Korean took Jinyoung and Jackson by surprise. "I am not sure you know how fast those tickets were selling, but I am happy I got them."

Bambam once again assumed the role of the photographer when Mark swept Samantha off her feet to hug and cherish her. Jackson's attention was captured by the mysterious woman, and could not help but notice the jasmine scent she wore.

"Thank you," Jackson offered and turned her body to her. "Yours was a pleasant surprise, too."

Jo noticed the subtlety and gave back a smile. She did not manage to reply as Mark and Samantha approached them. "Where are my manners?" Samantha said and gestured to her friend. "This is Jo."

Jo dipped her head in a bow, keeping her stature composed. The way she carried herself was that of a woman confident in her femininity. It did not go unnoticed by Jinyoung how Jackson looked at her. Mark caught it as well.

"She is going to be with us for the next six months. At least."

Jo chuckled. "It's nice meeting everyone. We'll see where life gets us, eventually."

Mark cleared his throat. "Do you want to go anywhere to celebrate? It's on me. It's been a while since we got together like this."

"Jo booked a table at a very nice restaurant in town."

"I don't think it's suitable for so many of us, but I will call immediately to request additional chairs."

"Tell you what," Jinyoung deftly moved over to Bambam, who was puzzled by the other's subtle silencing words, "Since we're all going to be in Seoul for a while, and for Mark's birthday as well, we can plan and rent something nice in the city. Let's give the lovebirds the night off."

Jo looked at Samantha with a serene expression. "I completely agree."

Jaebum was in on Jinyoung's plan. "But if it was your reservation, why not go together? Jackson can hop in to be the second third-wheel."

Bambam's eyes lit up like a Christmas tree. Jackson did not manage to protest, or otherwise, when he realized he had become the center of a quickly executed plot. He recognized the guys were fighting against their worst demons not to burst out laughing.

"It sounds like a plan," Jo turned to Jackson, knowing she had reeled him in when she met him with her charming smile.

"Sure, let's change into something more comfortable."

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write-it-good-imagines · 26 days ago

Text

Nothing More(M) - Seven

(Writer's message)Hello everyone, Merry Christmas!! In the spirit of GOT7 returning to our hearts and to the stage I wanted to return to this story and try to finish it. It often happens that I get inspiration every once in a while, so I might have a writing boost these next couple of days. There's much I fantasize about in my head but I'll make no promises. Enjoy the last few days of the year in the Christmas spirit <3

~6k words, implication of sex, romance, hurt/comfort

If you leave this time, I'll feel that you be gone for good So, I'll hold on like leaves in Fall to what is left

It seems that all the autumn leaves are falling I feel like you're the only reason for it...

"Break up with her? What are you even talking about?"

Jonathan looked at Jackson with a disapproving look and almost made a leap into the room if it wasn't for Samantha's acknowledging look. "Did you break up with her?"

Mark's eyes darted back and forth between Jonathan and Jackson. The latter couldn't have chosen a worse time to barge in. Still, Mark straightened his back protectively, shielding the woman from the inquiring looks of the crowd. Truth be told, he was ashamed of himself at how quickly he chose to give up on Samantha, that he instigated that situation himself. He felt the need to make up for the doubts and for the lost time, more so after standing up to Henry's antics.

"No, Jackson, why are you here?"

"I don't have time to explain," after taking his phone out of the jacket, Jackson showed it to Mark. In a hurried motion, Mark took it out of Jackson's hand, understanding the situation right away. "We need to catch that plane, you know?"

It did not mean the position Samantha was in those photos was any less hurtful, even though those men in the pictures should have been well outside of her romantic life. Mark instinctively glanced at Jonathan. The way Samantha's head was leaning against his shoulder, both in motorcycle attire opposite their bikes, in an otherwise peaceful setting, irked him. It also goes without saying that the additional picture where she was kissing the bartender was the cherry on top. Which he never knew about.

At the end of the gallery, the pictures capturing some of the most beautiful moments between Mark and Samantha were displayed: their longing goodbyes at either of their houses, the joyful smiles of the park outing, and him seeing her off at his group's office building. Samantha was watching Mark's finger as he slid between the pictures, the soft skin of her lower lip quickly drenching in blood from the cruelty of her teeth.

"They are going to crucify me," the woman stated matter-of-factly, driving both Leena and Jonathan to demand an explanation.

"Mark will need to make a statement, one way or another." Jackson copied her tone, his attention towards her. "Out of experience, you should not speak to them, nor make any social media post, nothing."

Samantha turned to Mark. "Shouldn't I defend myself?! I am trying to go back to surgery; this is going to effectively shut down all the career I've built."

Mark handed the phone back to Jackson, his other hand sliding away from Samantha's body. He knew all the strict surveillance of the Korean media, the scrutiny of the public, and the haunting chance of destroying the reputations of not only him but his group as well. At the other end of the line, it was Samantha's image and credibility within her professional field. The sun felt like it would shy away from the grey of the clouds only to run away into the void again.

He should have been more careful.

Mark cupped Samantha's cheek to lay a peck on her lips and bring their foreheads together. Beyond feeling baited into what the paparazzi wanted them to feel, he recognized she needed him to be strong for the both of them. Jackson pinched the bridge of his nose, albeit hiding his proud smile. That was when Jonathan knew Samantha was no longer in his reach.

"Do you trust me?"

Samantha grasped his wrist with the faintest of a nod.

"I'll call very soon, okay?"

Mark brought his head to her temple, whispering something inaudible to the assisting public. He then pulled apart, gesturing to Jackson that they would leave. The boys stopped before Jonathan and Leena, with Mark measuring the blonde in a split of a moment.

"I know you both care about each other. The security of the hospital will need to be alerted for forced paparazzi entrance; this is going to be published very soon. Can you take care of her while I'm gone?"

Jonathan scoffed as he watched the two singers walk away hurriedly. "Bet I will."

"We'll make a statement saying you two are acquaintances. We'll come up with the verbiage at a later time."

Everyone was gathered towards the center of the business class, with Mark suffering the protagonist role against his better wishes. Jackson was leaning against the backrest of Mark's seat, assuming somewhat of a defensive stance to face their managers' alarmed looks. Their leader was having a private conversation with one of the managers to discuss the PR strategy, and Jinyoung was impassable.

"So you went in to break up with her, but you didn't," Bambam started. "I never expected you to, and you didn't. And I am very proud of that."

Jinyoung simply scoffed.

"Then he kissed her, you know? That was a statement. So what if they have these pictures? We're not 18 anymore to stalk for exes." Yugyeom continued, agreeing with the other.

Jackson shifted his position, towering taller over the backrest. "To be honest, I have complete faith in our fans. I strongly feel they would not judge nor belittle us. Sooner or later, it would have come out anyway."

Jinyoung kept silent.

"Jinyoung?" said Jackson. "Your silence is scary."

"You know what," Jinyoung retorted, sitting up from his chair. "I support you." Shushing the members with a finger. "I'm serious. Whatever you decide to do, I'm 100% behind you. If this makes you happy, I'm happy, even though I already said this. It's unanimous to say we're behind you in this."

After leaving everyone else with their mouths hanging open, Jinyoung returned to reading his book peacefully.

While Jaebum and their manager were returning from the far end of the isle, Mark was quietly thanking Jinyoung for his lead. As skeptical as Jinyoung was, he never had to be explicit about wishing the best for one another. As was everyone.

"Damn, I expected to come back to some tension in the air," Jaebum chuckled, hoping to lighten the mood. "We discussed an initial scenario to keep out allegations--"

"It's simple. I am going to say she's my girlfriend."

There was a collective mix of reactions, from cheering to shock to content, the group had it all. Ultimately, the leader stepped away, giving Jackson a well-deserved high five.

"Mark, it's not that simple." Their manager stepped up to drive the conversation forward. "You have to give a careful statement."

Mark acknowledged his words. "And my careful statement would be that she is my girlfriend. We can use whatever formulation you think would be best, with this main idea in mind."

"Okay, let's assume for a moment we are doing that. What statement will she give about those pictures, with a considerable variety of men?"

In the heat of the moment, Mark opened his mouth to counter his manager's arguments in advance and understood that he ultimately had no arguments himself. Jonathan, he knew about. It was evident that something had happened in their past together, and the blonde hadn't managed to grow over his feelings for her. Then there was Henry.

Any statement would have meant throwing them under the bus. If there was anything Mark learned about Samantha was that she wouldn't throw people under the bus for her sake. No matter who it was.

"Let's work on something that would not defame anyone involved."

The conclusion of their conversation was left up for grabs. As everyone was scattered around to their own businesses, be it playing, reading, or simply chattering around, Mark changed seats to meet Jinyoung. He noticed Mark with the corner of his eye and put the book he was reading to the side.

"Thank you," stated Mark simply. "Means a lot, having my back."

"I was sincere with what I said. Even if I didn't always agree with what was going on. I reminded myself that you wouldn't go through all of this if it wasn't worth it."

Mark chuckled.

"Do you love her?"

"I do." nodded Mark and brought one knee closer to his chest to lean against. "I love her."

"Does she love you?"

"I think so, yes."

Jinyoung picked up his book and finally displayed a pleased smile.

"Good for you."

Later that night, Samantha entered an emergency surgery to deliver a pair of twins. Hands were moving on autopilot while mind was racing at an unthinkable speed. How she coordinated the medical team to a tee, even when feeling so tense, only added to her tension. When the surgery finally came to an end, Samantha left the operating room hurriedly, heading for her private office. The entire picture came tumbling down.

Mark was a celebrity, a public figure. What did she think was going to happen? Did she think she would have a soft pass? A hail Mary? And what if she had a Hail Mary? Would she have been better off with it?

Hard no everywhere.

Samantha sighed. Suddenly, all those frozen moments in digital representations came to life vividly. When Changwook lifted her up against the bar counter in a fervid kiss, the intoxication of gin and vodka was still muddling the air. Shortly after Samantha came to Korea, evading and hiding away from the humiliation and despair Henry put her through, her cousin's club allured her into a sweet fantasy. Drink pouring after drink after dance after faceless men—she never knew Changwook was working there at that time. A tall, handsome, foreign male who was there at the right place, wrong time. She was destined to face an uncomfortable situation during her first shift at said club.

Another dirty case of memory was the exotic vacation with Henry in the tropical islands, enjoying the sun and the love. Samantha felt still the warmth of turquoise waters sliding through her fingers and the elusive touches of a man she once knew. She laughed at the prospect of a time so far in existence that it lost all meaning to matter.

And Jonathan, oh him. In the exceptional that never happened, there was a golden smile with champagne hair and meadow eyes.

"Hey." A faint knock echoed, revealing Leena's figure. "I came to ask if you're okay."

Samantha shrugged her shoulders with a defeated smile. "As okay as I can be, I guess."

Leena seated herself to Samantha's right. "There's a half-full part of the glass always. Congrats for you and Mark!"

Despite Leena's attempt to bring a note of optimism, the other's face was troubled. "I know you saw the pictures, Leena. I have so many things to account for," Samantha turned her face to her friend. "To you, too."

"I know Jonathan loves you".

Samantha cusped her hands together.

"I also know how hard he's working to accept it. There's a quote I read somewhere; that the one thing we can control is how to love someone, not what they do with the love we give to them. I don't think there's something that better describes John".

She nodded, then continued. John, she thought. He's a different man to her than he was to me.

"You must be thinking you made me feel like the second woman. Sometimes, I do, other times I don't. Someday he'll accept the answer. I don't think he loves you the way he loves me, and I know for a fact he does love me".

"I think so too, saying it out loud just makes me feel like an asshole".

Leena chuckled. "I can say it for you if you want".

And Samantha gestured for her to go ahead. If you don't rip the bandaid, you never allow the wound to heal.

"You hurt his feelings and his ego when you chose Henry over him," Leena caught the shimmer of surprise in the other's eyes. "It's true that I only know his half of the story. He always thought you'd be his college sweetheart".

"Did he say this to you?"

"Oh, he did. We had plenty of heart-to-hearts lately. Even though I was inclined to say Henry triggered his actions, I now know it was Mark who did".

In the exceptional that was happening, there was a radiant smile with copper hair and amber eyes.

"He told me you have a bet but didn't tell me what that was. Said it's your story to tell".

"Since Jo wanted a two-people dare, two-people dare it is!" one of the boys in the group cheered, raising a toast with another shot of tequila in the air. "What's the dare, Jo?"

"The first card we flip will give a striptease dance to the next card!"

Another loud cheer reverberated through the room. Between a dozen eager, tipsy young adults, such vulgar propositions made them ecstatic. Amongst them, a younger Samantha, accompanied by Jonathan, Henry, and Jo, the four were in their feelings. A long midterm and a good drink would do that to them.

"Flip the cards!"

Samantha seemed to be less enthusiastic when her queen of cards showed up chaperoned by Jonathan's king of spades. It wasn't long before short hoots and whistles echoed in the fraternity room and quickly dissipated in the rowdy atmosphere.

Among the group, there was no secret Samantha was regarded as a high-value prize, even in their larger sophomore-year group. In a smaller setting, both Henry and Jonathan were chasing the same woman. Jonathan transferred at the beginning of that year and had no major trouble integrating into the group, notably having a larger affinity for Samantha. Henry was a year older than the group and met the same girl via their shared sports club, in which Samantha was the captain of the volleyball club.

Jonathan had the opportunity to score a much more definite chance than his opponent. He sealed his eyes with Samantha's, who, for the first time took a drawn-out look at the blonde counterpart.

"I'm down if you're down," Jonathan dragged out, slowly peeling off the floor.

"Come on Sam, you're no coward, are you?" Jo taunted, watching the scene with a lot of interest. Samantha untied her hair from the bun she was wearing, messy hair outlining her face. As the latter prepared another shot of tequila to strengthen herself, Jo gestured for everyone else to get lost on the dance floor. Henry rose reluctantly, even as he easily found another girl to occupy himself with, his eyes were earnestly watching Samantha.

With just the two of them left in crumbles of intimacy under piercing eyes, Jonathan stepped closer to Samantha, bursting out in a torrent of chuckles, dubbed by the woman's own giggles.

She smiled an alluring smile that captured a string of Jonathan's heart, "What are we even doing?"

"I believe I am supposed to be dangling my ass on you or something like that," she replied, taking Jonathan by the hand and dragging him to the dancefloor. The man followed her lead, a smirk growing larger on his features.

"If you don't want to do this, you don't have to. I don't want to force you into anything," Jonathan completed, allowing Samantha to get closer to him, her back pressing into his chest. He understood her message and rested his hands on her upper hips.

"I appreciate myself a respectful guy," She leaned her head against his shoulder, extending her torso to speak into his ear to counter the loud music, "You don't have to be respectful now".

Just as Samantha started curling her body, Jonathan felt the alcohol in his veins mix up with the unorthodox desire to lower his hands. "Even with all these eyes watching us?"

A small pause until Samantha turned around to face Jonathan, one hand pushing into his chest. Her eyes harvested a cunning feline glance. "Let them".

Jonathan reached closer to the woman, noses brushing against one another before Jonathan whispered in her ear, "I'd rather watch you on my own".

Samantha circled her arms around his neck, head tilting back in intimate laughter. Henry felt his own blood boiling at the passionate scenery. "If you planned to turn me on, you're successful".

Jonathan reciprocated her laughter. "You're giving me a boner, might as well do something to turn you on". He brought her closer to his chest, opting to take her lead. He would have devoured her laughter with his lips if it was for him, including Samantha adding to the friction between their bodies.

"Perhaps we could continue our conversation in a more private setting," suggested Jonathan, wrapping his arm around her waist to guide her through the crowd to a separate part of the building, where he had the key to his room. Jonathan's chamber was tidy and bright, all his belongings put in their respective place.

"It feels like you premeditated this" teased Samantha, her finger tracing the cover of a John Steinbeck classic.

Jonathan closed the door behind them, turning the key into the lock. The way he knew all their friends, an unpleasant surprise could have happened at any time. Maybe if his mind was a little more sober, he would have remembered Jo was especially keen on a threesome.

"Not even close. Believe me, I never fathomed I would lock myself up with you here when this night started."

Samantha chuckled. "You're not drunk enough if you're using such fancy words".

"I'm not drunk enough to commit to ripping your clothes off right now".

Jonathan drew closer to the girl, taking his time to admire the rose hue in her cheeks. Even so, her smile only suggested she'd grown more bashful.

"Why not?" she challenged. "Are you a virgin?"

Jonathan laughed. "I'm not. I just don't picture myself as a brute," as Samantha laughed, he lifted up her left hand to place a kiss on the inside of her wrist. "Are you?"

She shook her head, gliding her hand to Jonathan's nape. Blonde strands of hair felt silky against her fingertips and a sigh departed from her lips. "I'm just hesitant".

"Tell me why. Maybe I could ease your mind".

Using his other arm, Jonathan traced a faint line with the back of his hand on the skin of her neck, leaving agonizing shivers in his wake. Met with no objections, he slid his fingers under the red material of her sweatshirt to feel the goosebumps on her collarbone. The man kept to himself the indisputable fact that Samantha was not wearing any top piece of lingerie.

Samantha was closing the distance between their bodies with her right hand playing at the rim of Jonathan's jeans. She deliberately attached her pelvis to Jonathan's, fully enjoying the appetite of their height difference.

"My humble experience tells me pretty boys like you are not ready to be personal with one girl only".

"I was ready since I first laid eyes on you".

The girl scoffed. In a swift motion, she unpeeled herself from Jonathan to undress herself from the annoying sweater. Samantha was admittedly impressed that Jonathan's eyes never went lower from her eyes, even if the boner he courageously pointed out was still there.

"Don't know if you're sincere or just stubborn," she completed, encircling her arms around his neck once more. Jonathan inhaled a sharp breath at the smell of her skin and simply adored the sheepish pretend look in her eyes while her visage communicated anything but.

It was clear as day that Samantha was offering herself up on a silver platter while testing his guts, knowing it could slide away any second. Perhaps that was the moment Jonathan fell for her.

"Tell you what," countered Jonathan, broad hands gripping the small of her back. The muscles twitched under his touch. "Let's make a bet".

"Oh? What do you have in mind, Jonathan?"

There was something so obscene in the way she breathed his name that it took all his might to oppose the raw longing to consume her lips. Instead, he imprisoned the back of her head with a sensual flicker of hand and protected her lower back with his other. He took her approving moan as stimuli to move forward with his proposition.

"I will not kiss you until you decide to kiss me. And when you finally will, I will date you with the intention of marrying you".

"That's stupid, playing out Pretty Woman like this" she laughed while unbuckling his belt. Jonathan restrained her movements, forcing her eyes to look at him.

"I'm serious. I will show you that us having sex now will not stop me from winning you".

"What makes you so sure you are going to win me over?"

Jonathan picked her swiftly off the ground in his arms and forced Samantha to circle her legs around his waist. He seated himself on top of her in the softness of the bed, his physique towering protectively over her.

"On the one hand, you didn't deny we are going to have sex now".

Jonathan threw his own T-shirt somewhere in the corner of the room.

"On the other hand, I'm sure I am not like the other boys who were in your life".

Samantha watched his every action with awe and a rapid beating in her chest. As much as she offered herself to him, he proudly accepted her with the freedom of her actions. She suddenly felt shy and angled her face away from him. Jonathan noticed and lowered his head to mildly bite into her neck. "Don't play coy with me now, Sam. Are you accepting this bet? Tell me before I undo your jeans because I don't know if I'll let you go after that".

"Up until recently, it had been the best sex of my life," settled Samantha through short melancholic nods of the head.

Leena smiled, accepting the intricate past between Samantha and Jonathan as it was. "Then why let him go? Why choose Henry over him?"

"In the mirage of youth, most of us tend to fall to illusions. Henry spoke fairer and almost always told me what I needed to hear. He never was unfaithful to me nor treated himself with too much superiority. If you ask me now, I don't know the answer to that. Jonathan was, is, more raw. I didn't know how to treat such a man before, even if I knew in my heart he never let me go entirely. He dated other girls while we were in college, he and Jo had a good thing going on for a while. At some point, she told me there was a 1% of him with one foot out".

"Because of you," Leena followed, and it was her turn to lower her eyes and aim them at her hands.

"Because of me. Gosh, I feel like a whore now, but I wanted you to have the full picture".

Leena picked up the remorse in Samantha's voice. Beyond that, she was thankful. "To tell you the truth, John had already told me this. I lied".

Samantha laughed as if the entire pressure on her heart just dissipated. She suspected as such yet felt the need to leave the past in the past and the tension out of her chest. Leena was a good one in all she did, and most of what she did recently to support Samantha through the tumult of past days. "You needed your confirmation, I know. I would have done the same".

Leena wrapped her arms around Samantha, and the both of them let out a weighty sigh. "I will forever be grateful for what Jonathan did for me, and part of me will always love him like a close confidant. We both know our train left the station long ago. I just hope he's not stupid while your train is still here".

"Between you and I," Leena said, "I sure as hell hope he's not. I saw him in sweatpants a couple of days ago, and girl, let me tell you a thing or two".

The atmosphere eased into laughter, and Samantha hugged the other woman tighter. "I'm so lucky to have you, Leena".

In the pocket of her doctor's coat, Samantha's phone started vibrating. The two girls pulled away, and Leena stood up when she noticed Mark's name on the luminous screen.

"Hey princess, is this a good time?"

There was static noise combined with loud background music on Mark's end of the line. He must have been in the concert venue. It took her aback to listen to Mark's voice so calm and so certain when speaking to her. Like the world was their cradle and nothing else mattered in the world.

"Hey Mark. Yes, I just got out of surgery. I brought twins into this world today".

Samantha felt the remnants of the smile Mark was wearing on the other end of the line. "That's amazing, you're amazing, love. I'm sure the parents must be very happy."

Love. Undoubtedly, that was the first time he ever called her that. An abrupt avalanche of the past day's memories collapsed over Samantha, the blending of agony over ecstasy over fear, of belated forgiveness and let-go's. Somehow, Mark rose above everything, wearing his radiant smile. With love.

After a short pause, his voice echoed as if it transcended from a faraway land, "How are you holding up?"

"It's a lot," confessed Samantha. "I don't know how I led the medical team in the OR. My head was spinning with everything going on."

"I know. I'm sorry."

"What could you possibly be sorry for, Mark?"

"I'm sorry for not protecting you the way you needed me to."

It was the same sensation she lived the very first time they shared a smile, the bed, and their intimacy. He carried the same striking transparency, that of a glass shining in the bleak midwinter when the sole beam of sunshine found that one last refuge. Come to think of it, most of their visceral conversations happened on a phone line. A hundred times easier to hide the unseen through the deceit of the voice when the eyes cannot find the sensitivity of the soul and the arms cannot hug away the uncertainty.

What use was there to keep on lying when the mask fell and shattered into a million pieces?

"I'm sorry for daring to give up on you. I'm sorry for being selfish and for putting myself first. There are so many things I wish I told you tonight, Sam."

"You haven't lost me, dearest. Not tonight."

The echo of an exhale could be heard on the other end of the line.

"When the news breaks out, I want to make a statement. And I will tell them you are my girlfriend".

Samantha's shock could be palpable through the phone call. "What? I mean, shouldn't you not associate yourself with me? Won't that ruin your image?"

Mark inhaled a great amount of air before replying. "I plan to make you forget about that ex. In truth, I loved the idea of you overthinking all your texts. And I wanted all your neighbors to hear you yell when we make love. I don’t want it to be a problem when we come together. And I don’t want us a secret. This is the shittiest time to ask, but will you have me? Will you be my girlfriend?"

In retrospect, Samantha would have seen Mark's confession coming from a mile away. All the possible hints he could have dropped, he did. In the little time they spend together, hurriedly, sneakily, and intensively, Mark changed her world the very first time they crossed paths. What Samantha grew to nurture for him did not carry a name but still felt like a Mediterranean breeze caressing the surface of the ocean, akin to the warmth of the summer morning.

"Yes, I will be your girlfriend," Samantha smiled and instinctively touched the back of her neck, where Mark's favorite spot to hold her was.

"Good. Good. I can totally make that statement now," he laughed, and her heart eased into his serenity. "We have a lot to tell each other I think, when I'm back".

"We do, we do indeed. I talked to Leena today, about Jonathan".

"Oh? And? Are they going out now, as they should?"

She snickered. "They had an obstacle until now. Me."

"Oh, I know. Figured as much."

"How did you--?"

Before she had the chance to continue, Mark interfered. "I am a man, Sam. And not a blind one at that. Is he better in bed than me? Wait actually, don't answer that."

They both laughed.

"Out of the kindness of my heart, I'll let you know he is not".

"Ah, I figured as much 'cause I refused to tell him when he asked. I kinda got the gist back then. But now, seriously, what's in the past is in the past. What matters now is that you are in my present, and I hope in my future, too".

"We can't know that, Mark."

"I know. I know you don't like all these plotted plans. I'll work as hard as I need to make us work. To give you what you need. If we're meant to be, we'll be, but I don't want to regret never trying."

The moon was lurking out into the dusk, leaving traces of stars in its wake. In his words, Samantha heard what Mark whispered at their parting.

I love you too.

In the barren parking lot of the SMP hospital, the hazy contours of two motorcycles still governed the vast space. A well-known silhouette of a man stood amongst the night shadows, casting tamed lights from the clicking and unclicking of a zipper lighter.

"Thought you would have rushed home after today, Johnatan."

"What about you, then?" a smirk appeared in the corner of the man's mouth. "I am in no position to add to your future scandal right now."

Samantha laughed loudly. "Why wait for me, then? Go on, get lost."

The loud click of the zipper captured the woman's attention. "Figured that if we're raising a storm, might as well ride the waves."

"That we are, my friend."

Samantha dropped her bag next to the motorcycle to take out her biking gear. Jonathan put on his protective helmet, as he was already equipped for the ride.

"Jo called me today."

"Really? How is she doing?" chirped the woman, happy to hear any news about their old friend.

Jonathan kicked off his engine. "Follow me to find out more."

Samantha heeded the invitation and rode out to follow Jonathan soon after he departed from the parking lot. The autumn air welcomed a gust that brushed against open neck skin. Jonathan's riding style had always been elegant but rushed, comparable to its owner - it always reminded Samantha of those blurry colored lines in the Hollywood movies when the night traffic melted under the car lights. She smiled even if Jonathan didn't know; he was made of Hollywood material.

Following a short period on the offroad roads of the suburbs, Jonathan led Samantha up a hill, which enclosed a good part of the city and led to the unwinding of the imagination. Summer heat was still present in the air as if making its last stand against the autumnal chill. Samantha followed Jonathan's figure and left her motorcycle next to his under a tree. He seated himself on a patch of grass, giving the woman a helping hand to follow.

"Okay, so, Jo," Samantha continued as she crossed her legs next to Jonathan. "What's up?"

"She said she's flying out to Seoul in two weeks' time; she has some long-term project here as creative director for some big initiative, I couldn't remember the names she told me. I gave her your phone number 'cause she didn't have it, and she said she bought two front-row tickets for the Got7 final concert here."

Samantha nodded her head. If Jo had called her during any other time, she would have taken the ticket in a heartbeat. She was not so sure she would anymore.

"Assuming she was not asking me to come with her and that you are not scared to go, that ticket was too expensive to pass."

"I don't know, Jonathan. Last thing I want is to be sliced to death during a Got7 concert because I had men in my life before Mark."

"Auch," he joked, and Samantha turned to him apologetically.

"I didn't mean it like that."

Jonathan's eyes were focused on the veil of darkness over the city. "This was the first place we rode to when we transferred here, do you remember? I thought I'd kiss you here back then."

Samantha followed his eyes into the far away. "I do. You led me here then, just as you did now."

"I don't think we should come here alone anymore."

She nodded her head once more. "We shouldn't."

"I told Leena we had sex."

"I know."

"News travels fast around these parts, huh?"

The both of them laughed energetically. Jonathan had the talent to make them feel as if they were sitting on the football pitch in college in the middle of the night, just the two of them.

"I still get the feeling I'm a whore. Especially to Leena."

Jonathan cocked an eyebrow. "If we have a whore, the grand prize is mine. Imagine how stupid this situation is. I was in love with my college friend who hung me out to dry and still pinned for her while having eyes for another."

"Pretty boy traits--"

It hit her then that Jonathan spoke in past tense. That must have been the finish line, which delayed its bitter-sweet arrival. Indeed, it felt like a crystal key fell from a drawer to shatter into nothingness. Only the golden string remained.

"You hit the jackpot with Leena."

"Crazy part is that I knew. I allowed myself to hurt my ego in the same fucking situation, albeit I knew the consequences from the beginning this time. And she waited, Sam. She waited. The way Jackson flirted with her, I thought I would kick the bucket again."

Samantha looked at Jonathan, at how the moonlight lit up his face. She smiled again, knowing he finally found peace with her choices. "I don't know how to give you closure, Johnny."

He tilted his head towards her direction, with a condescending sneer. "I think I got it when I convinced myself you are in good hands now. And knowing I was always better than Henry the dickhead."

"Indeed you were. You are in good hands now, too. We can let each other go."

"You know I'm not dying or whatever. I'll still be here to break Mark's neck if he hurts you and make it look like he failed in surgery."

Samantha leaned her head against his shoulder and Jonathan shifted his position to make her more comfortable. "No punches will be needed this time. If we break up, it's on me."

A furious torrent of beeping and fervent phone vibrations interrupted the content silence between the two. Samantha took out her phone to witness the shocking headlines of Got7's Mark's mysterious alleged girlfriend.

Previous chapter

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write-it-good-imagines · 7 months ago

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Nothing More(M) - Six

Hello everyone! Hope you had a great first half of the year. With everything happening so fast in my life, I now found a moment to breathe and get in my feelings again. So here's chapter six. Enjoy~ ~6k words, angst, love. How am I supposed to let you go when I don't wanna see you with anyone but me when nobody gets me like you? I only like myself when I'm with you.

Morning came seemingly too early for Samantha. The light orange spice of the sun was barging through the crack of the beige curtains of the bedroom, to find a resting place in the shared bed. That beautiful warmth gently awoke the woman who longed for a couple stolen minutes between the sheets. Try as she might, Samantha shifted from one side to the other in a hopeless attempt to charm the sleep from going away. She looked at Mark, whose brown hair was sparkling a dark autumn gold, and his eyelashes were fluttering in his sleep. Truly, a tender image to remember.

Samantha slid out of bed hoping she wouldn’t disturb Mark’s peace and stretched her body. With the corner of her eye, she caught a glimpse of an open notebook on a distant desk, surrounded by crumpled pieces of paper. She curiously approached it but didn’t dare touch it. Mark’s handwriting was scribbled in the intimacy of the pages, some words crossed out, others accompanied by small question marks. There was a title towering at the top of the page: everyone else fades. A love song.

“Hey.” Mark’s voice groggily echoed from the bed and Samantha turned her body to him. It felt like he had been watching her for a while. His voice was an octave lower than usual but still sounded like music to Samantha’s ears.

“How long have you been awake?” she smiled, approaching the bed to sit on the edge.

Mark extended an arm to her direction to meet with her hand. “I felt you squirm around.”

“I’m sorry.” She pursed her lips and gave a small squeeze to his hand. Mark just shook his head in response to indicate he was not bothered at all.

“Did you find anything you like?” asked Mark.

Samantha’s eyes travelled to the open notebook, then back to Mark. “Who is that for?” she asked in a mellow voice, focused on his presence.

Mark intertwined his fingers with hers and chuckled. Samantha was not meant to find that piece of writing, and he’d forgotten entirely about it the previous night. “Haven’t decided yet.”

Samantha chuckled and leaned on her belly into bed, meeting Mark’s curious eyes. He extended his hand to tug a lone strand of hair behind her ear. How much did she want that song to be for her.

“What?” Mark whispered and caressed her cheek with his thumb. “I bet my breath smells like shit.”

She laughed louder this time. Was she jealous, with Mark not admitting what she wanted to hear? “I bet mine smells like shit too, so that makes us even.”

“I guess I’ll forgive you this time,” Mark chuckled and let go of her face. He shifted his body to stretch on his side, one arm supporting his head, while the other draped loosely over Samantha’s lap. Marks’ fingers found a grip on Samantha’s naked inner thigh. “Morning sex?”

Samantha giggled and slipped from under his touch in an evident response. Mark laughed, too, albeit with his face dug in the plush of the mattress. “Yeah, go on and break my heart.”

In the absence of any vivid emotions, Samantha felt a string snap in the chords of her heart. Ever since the night before, the woman sensed Mark hid himself behind a wall and she could not see beyond. With every word spoken out of his mouth, the woman gathered it to be the truth.

“I did not mean that.”

Of course you did. “Of course not. I need to get ready for the hospital, I start at noon.”

Mark stretched his body to sit on the edge of the bed, both palms of his hand pushing his torso upright. “Have no idea about the time, but it’s far from noon.”

Then before she had a chance to comment, Mark continued. “Why are you running away from me with every chance you get?”

Samantha looked at him with longing eyes, still with a glimmer of both sadness and regret.

“I need to know, Sam.”

“Didn’t I tell you last night, Mark?”

“I did not sleep a wink thinking about everything you said. After the sex we had. Did you?”

Samantha hesitated for a moment. “No.”

A deep sigh exploded from Mark’s lungs. “Then why? I get it, I’m not tall like him, not as handsome, maybe half as smart—”

The woman rushed to shush him. “That doesn’t even matter—”

“All that I gave to you and still am giving is care and respect. And lo—”

In the distant living room, the sharp ring of a phone cut through what could have been Mark’s confession. Samantha hurriedly distanced herself from the bed, recognizing that the sound belonged to her phone.

“…fuck it.” Mark concluded and gathered a loose shirt from his wardrobe to throw over his head. He plunged to his feet to close the notebook where he had put his thoughts and feelings into lately. It was such a painful blur what Mark was feeling, far from the fairytales love ever promised, and it was blurry, Samantha’s voice speaking hurriedly from the other room, at some point fading in such a manner he could not recognize as hers. After a couple more prolonged seconds, Samantha’s head perked from behind the doorframe, watching Mark’s movements with a heavy heart. “Jonathan rang, the hospital is calling for the board of directors. They want me there earlier.”

“Yeah, sure, you should go.” Mark replied absentmindedly, not even sure he was processing anything else beyond the disappointment of his feelings. The bitterness did not go unnoticed.

“Mark…” Samantha tried getting closer, but Mark did not give any sign of mirroring her actions. She backed away. She settled for another question. “You’re leaving again today?”

“Tonight, yes.” He turned to look at her with a knot in his throat. “I need to start packing and all that.”

In a futile attempt to reestablish a connection with Mark, Samantha ultimately walked away from the cold doorframe, biting into the plush of her lower lip to push back the tears. At long last, she had found someone again, to treat her right and engulf her heart with warmth and joy. Was fear bigger than love? Perhaps it was. Was her pride bigger than Mark? It should not have been. As the woman gathered her scattered clothes from the lover’s nest which was Mark’s living room, and eerie sentiment started crawling to her faster and faster. It was as if Mark felt it too when he approached, replacing her in the doorframe. His arms were folded over his torso and there were abrupt lines under his eyes.

“I don’t think we’ll see each other again.” Mark spoke finally and there was some bigger denial force which led Samantha to believe he was just speaking about the present day.

“No, it’s alright, you must pack, meet up with the others. I think it’s going to be a full day at the hospital, anyway, so don’t worry about me!” Samantha cheered and forced a fake smile out of Mark. He did not want to say more.

“Murphy and Millo are outside, just so you know. I let them out into the backyard after you fell asleep.”

“Sure, I’ll get Murphy on the way out. Thanks.”

There was no intimacy during the last seconds of Samantha’s departure, just fugitive smiles shared, and Mark did not follow her outside. The eerie feeling the woman had previously culminated when Murphy suddenly started yelping and crying that he did not want to leave. As if he’d never come back.

Samantha put on her white coat in her office, straightening the wrinkles in the magenta crayon dress hugging her body. She pushed the hair tightened in a ponytail from under the collar, and let it swing like a metronome for a while. There was a pile of medical files on the desk which needed her careful revision for the day, yet the only thing capturing her attention was Mark’s cold demeanor during their parting. Fingers were curling at the hem of the coat, eyes fixated on a faraway point outside the window. Samantha did not hear Jonathan coming in.

“Sam?” Jonathan approached, briefly tapping at her shoulder. She flinched at the unexpected contact, broken off from her trance.

“Sorry, Jonathan.” She coughed shortly to gather her voice, turning to face the other. “What’s up?”

Jonathan observed her features, devoid of the usual happiness she had lately. “Did anything happen between you and Mark?”

Samantha frowned and for a moment forgot Jonathan knew her better than anyone. Or at least used to. “I don’t really feel like talking about it.” Before Jonathan commented. “Please. What do you need?”

“Nothing in particular, I stopped around to ask about the management meeting. There are rumors you want to step down?”

She nodded her head. “I do. I hate this politics and it’s not really my thing. I want to go back to treating people full time. This time for real.”

A small pause and then a sincere smile appeared on Jonathan’s lips. He opened his arms and Samantha gladly took the invitation to wrap around him. Jonathan gently pulled her head into his shoulder, towering over her. “Congratulations. We’ve been waiting for you for so long. Does this mean you talked to him? To Mark?”

Samantha tightened her grip around Jonathan. His back was as broad as she remembered it to be.

“Then why are you sad?”

She just shook her head. “Okay, I’ll stop. We can speak when you feel like it. I lied to you earlier, I actually came to tell you something else.”

“Oh?” Samantha pulled away, watching Jonathan with curious eyes. Jonathan cleared his throat, still holding Samantha close to him. It might as well have been for the last time that he did.

The nervous pacing of a nurse interrupted them with a knock on the open door. Jonathan let go of the woman, straightening his back. He winked at Samantha, with a playful smirk on his lips that she had not seen in a long time. She was overwhelmed with curiosity, especially since, even before the beginning of their relationship, that small gesture was always associated with mischief.

“Doctor Stoss, there is a patient here who wants to meet you. I understand you treated his wife in the past.”

“Of course, I’ll join him momentarily. Thank you, nurse.”

Samantha turned back to Jonathan after the nurse had walked away. “Hey, do you think we could call in the late-night motorcycle ride we talked about? I could really use it. And we could talk more, as it seems you have one or two things to confess to me.”

Jonathan laughed. “Count me in, then. I’ll walk with you; I’m heading to the reception area anyway.”

Truth was, people never get to be ready for the situations life puts them through. They never get warnings, never get spoilers, always hit again and again with the unforeseen and never get used to it. In the lobby of the reception area, Samantha recognized the man looking for her, all too well, with little tweaks and rough around the edges. Next to him was a woman, showing signs of pregnancy, and it all felt like history was replaying all over again. In a cruel deja vu.

“Doctor Stoss,” the man spoke, and a shiver ran down Samantha’s spine. Jonathan felt it and made himself busy around the area, in case she needed him. “We meet again.”

“Mister Dalton, yes.” Samantha composed herself but her skin must have been so pale from the sheer shock. “How can I be of use?”

“I know what you must be thinking.” The man continued, keeping a distance. “It’s not you that I hate, if I have that anymore in my heart. My sister,” gesturing toward the feminine silhouette next to him “she recently found out that she is pregnant, and we wish to monitor everything meticulously from the start.”

Samantha could not comprehend the words spoken to her. “That’s certainly very good thinking but why me? There are many skilled doctors in Seoul who I’m sure can help you with whatever you need.” She then looked down at the white floor. “I did not even forgive myself, so how could you?”

Dalton’s sister reached out for Samantha’s hand in a compassionate gesture which took Samantha by surprise. The man was looking away, not with a distraught expression, but rather one which was desperately fighting for the closure he so much needed. “You should forgive. We both know it was not you. We do.”

So many thoughts were rushing at that moment through Samantha’s mind, crowding and emptying and then crawling in colossal nonsense. The past weeks had been full of the unexpected, of unknown emotions, unknown people, and unknown happenings. Mark came to her mind again. How was it a coincidence that only the night before she was undoing the strings of pain aching at her heart, only to be followed by the father whose two most important people were lost from this life, looking to her for treatment?

“You are foreign like us, so you do understand the obvious choice. We read your scientific papers and all the good you did for the people. Despite us losing our dearest wife and sister, we want to bring his niece and my daughter into the world, loud cries and healthy. By your hands.”

Jonathan’s smile was so stretched out that it could have reached the galaxy. Samantha turned to him by instinct, to find him scribbling a happy face on an empty admission form, as happy as his oozing joy. Then she turned to the brothers, to be met by a sincere look in mister Dalton’s eyes. The sign for which she hoped would come finally did.

“Mister Dalton, please find one of these admission forms and fill it in on my patient’s behalf. Let’s go to an examination room.”

Jonathan giggled akin to a child. “Doctor Williams, if you could help me bring the other files I had, please.”

In light of the events unfolding before her very eyes, Samantha felt something click in her conscience. All the signs in the world could not have been louder to tell her it was time she came face to face with her feelings and her pride. For all that mattered, she had to confess to Mark what was on her mind, which was him and him alone. The mornings drew their breath from him, the days flew by to reach him, and the dusk settled to be with him. There couldn’t have been any other. It could not make sense with anyone else, it had to be Mark.

Now, or never.

Amidst packing the usual stuff for the last leg of the tour, Mark had an uneasy sentiment throughout. He replayed the moment they lay together on the summer grass in the park, teasing and laughing at one another, sewing little by little what he thought would be an indisputable connection. She drew him in, with the audacity of a thief and the serenity of a child. The smell of her skin filling the air bewitching him, the amber of her eyes twinkling like the brightest of stars, and oh the sound of her voice. She was a midsummer night’s dream.

Only she proved to be just that. A dream. Who was he to intrude, if she did not want him?

Mark took a glance at himself in the mirror and laughed at how hypocritical he was. Blaming his mishap on Samantha’s clear boundaries. You aren’t that guy, Jinyoung kept repeating to him, time and again, and by the time he realized he truly was not that guy, he had already done the damage to himself. During Mark’s career, with the bright lights and the fame, most of the girls he met were shallow, looking for easy ways to get out. They all wanted him; he never wanted them. Now that he wanted her, she did not want him. How pitiful that must have felt, to walk with your head held high into a trap thinking it would be a reward. And Samantha was not like anyone else he’d had, she was everything all the other women were not. Fierce, independent, addictive. In between the sheets, he did not believe sex and love could coexist and mean something. And Mark wanted her, with every piece she carried, even more so to fool himself he could help her heal, put a purpose on love again.

Human beings are selfish by nature, far from being perfect. Mark could not push a woman to be with him, against her own will. He would rather suffer than live a lie. Against all odds even, he stopped believing she would give them a chance.

So, to let her go was what he could do, for the sake of both of them.

At the crack of sundown, Mark brought his luggage to the van and joined with the rest of the guys to leave for the airport. He must have exuded a sense of sadness because the usual cheery atmosphere turned into a looming silence.

“Mark? Everything okay?” Jackson asked, putting his phone to the side.

“Yeah, sort of.” Mark replied and put the hood of his sweatshirt over his head, with a loud sigh. Ultimately, he gave up. “Everything is not okay.”

Jinyoung just sighed and folded his arms over his chest. Mark turned his body to the side to speak with the driver. “Can we make a stop to SMP hospital?”

“What are you even doing, adding oil to the fire?” Jinyoung commented, clearly dissatisfied that his friend just chose to torture himself further.

Mark fixed the hood over his eyes, relaxing his body into the fabric of the seat. “I’m letting her go.”

Bambam almost spit the water he was drinking. “You’re doing what now?”

But Mark just ignored the guys, opting to stay silent during the rest of the ride to the hospital. Admittedly, both Jinyoung and Jackson were surprised by Mark’s disclosure. Something had to happen during the night before for Mark to take such a decision, especially as they saw and knew about the feelings Mark harbored for Samantha. They knew better than to pry, Mark would share when he considered appropriate, and all they had to do was to be there for him.

Thoughts were racing through Mark’s mind, as was his heart in his chest, trying to figure out what exactly he would say to rip the band-aid as fast as possible. Whose band-aid he was going to rip off most probably would belong to him, still against his better feelings. Was he an impostor for not fighting more? Although there is nothing louder than the silence of two people being in love but walking away because someone had to choose themselves over the other?

“We’re here, Mark.” Jackson broke the silence, shaking Mark off his trance. “Still going?”

Mark just cracked open the door of the van in response, unpeeling himself hastily from his seat. Back in the car, there was an avalanche of buzzing coming from the cellphones of the other guys, and there was a collective shock.

“Oh my God”, the leader of the group spoke, looking through the pictures their manager had just sent them in the shared groupchat. “This is very bad.”

“Is it Samantha in all of them?” Jackson spoke and could not believe what he was seeing.

“Mark will have to make a statement for this shit, there’s no way. Where did these even come from?” Bambam threw his phone on the back seat. “Is it a fact Dispatch is going to publish it?”

“But he’s letting her go, no? So that’s… nothing is good.”

Mark’s phone was left in the backseat of the car, assaulted by messages and calls from their manager. Jinyoung looked out the window at Mark’s back walking away from the van, still stuck upon the striking picture in which Samantha was heatedly kissing the bartender of the club where the group spent their night some weeks before. Where Mark inadvertently met Samantha. Another picture in the deck where a dashing blonde man was sharing laughs with Samantha on the back of a motorcycle. And another one, alongside a charming tall brunette, doting over one another on the golden sands of a foreign beach. “Let’s hope he’s letting her go.”

The walk from the back of the parking lot to the entrance of the main lobby started a high-pitched ringing in Mark’s ears and he could not realize when he was met by the hospital receptionist.

“What can I help you with, sir? Are you feeling alright?”

“Yes. Could you page doctor Stoss? I need to talk to her.”

The receptionist was happy to comply with his request and Mark leaned his elbows against the reception counter. There were unusually few people that night in the main lobby of the hospital, keeping the bleak silence of the hospital intact.

“Out of everyone I could have met tonight, I never expected to meet you here.”

Initially, Mark did not recognize the arrogant voice, but when he turned his body to face the owner of that voice, he felt his blood pressure increasing.

“Neither did I, Doctor Carter.” Mark noted, keeping a snarky comment, still a prisoner, under a feigned sense of respect. He was hoping Henry would just leave, albeit highly unlikely.

“I get it, you’re here to see my dear Sam. Heroic, if you ask me. Mark, was it? How important must you singers be.”

The way he was using Samantha’s name was making Mark angry, more than belittling himself. “I didn’t ask. I have nothing to say to you.”

Henry chuckled and fixed the collar of his white coat. Using his analytical and cocky demeanor, Henry was actively looking for ways to assert dominance over Mark. He posed the physical advantages at least. “I have a couple of things to say to you, might as well just listen.”

Mark turned his body fully toward Henry, keeping his stance strong and definitive. Henry arched a curious eyebrow and decided he’d entertain Mark.

“Do go ahead and speak to her while you have the chance. Next time you’d be back, maybe you won’t have it.”

“As if I need any permission to ask of you. You are too self-sufficient to see beyond your shadow.”

Henry laughed yet felt annoyed. He reached into his pocket to reveal a small velvety box to Mark. “When she becomes my wife, you won’t get fifty meters around her shadow.”

The guts of the guy made absolutely no sense to Mark who, out of instinct, just burst out laughing. There was a passer-by, alerted by the bizarre sounds of laughter.

“I don’t know if you’re either too stupid or too delusional but thanks for the laugh.” Mark concluded and threw his hands up in the air in a mocking gesture.

In any other setting, Henry would have grabbed Mark by the collar. He took a step closer to Mark’s silhouette. “Why? Think it is going to be you whom she chooses?”

Undeterred by the feelings of a broken heart twisted by an invisible knife, Mark mirrored Henry’s actions to also take a step forward. “Doesn’t matter who it is going to be but sure as hell it’s not going to be you, doctor. If you can keep calling yourself that.”

“Mark.” Samantha’s voice broke the tension between the two men and caused them to back away from one another. Henry put the velvety box back in the pocket of his coat, regaining his self-confidence. He met Samantha with one of his charming smiles, but she did not pay him any attention. Her eyes were focused on Mark, in a contradiction of happiness and fear. “You paged me, did anything happen to you?”

Mark glanced at Henry, signaling that he wanted to get some privacy with her.

“Let’s go to my office.”

“Will I have the honor to see you a tad later? I’ll get you home.” Henry chirped but Mark and Samantha turned their backs to him. “I’ll take that as a yes.” He finally spoke, unable to acknowledge he was no longer Samantha’s main focal point.

Samantha closed the door of the office behind her in a clumsy motion, struggling to gather the words to speak. “I wasn’t expecting to see you tonight, I thought you were flying out?”

Mark turned to her and voluntarily allowed her to see the sadness and impatience flowing over his face. “I am, the van is parked outside. I wanted to see you one last time.”

Samantha scoffed and suddenly felt like throwing up. She quickly recalled the looming feeling of the morning, Murphy’s refusal to leave Mark’s house. “One last time? You’re coming back soon; we’ll get to see each other again.”

Biting in the plush of his inner cheek, Mark walked towards her and tenderly cupped her face. “I cannot see you again, Sam. We won’t see each other again. I came to say goodbye.”

She shook her head in disbelief, watching Mark with a desolate expression. “What, no, no you can’t. What do you mean goodbye?”

The tear rolling down Samantha’s cheek twisted the knife deeper into Mark’s heart. He guided his thumb to wash it away. “I cannot be with one foot in and have the other ready to go. It’s very, very painful for me, and I can’t force you to love me if you don’t. I tried to be that guy, but I can’t. I want people to see us out in the street holding hands, I want people to hear us when we’re making love and know it’s me in our bed. I want to experience things I’ve never felt before with you. I want to kiss you right in Henry’s fucking face and I want all the love songs I’ll write to have you as their muse. Everyone else fades was about you. I don’t want to see you with anyone but me.”

Mark leaned forward to place a chaste kiss on Samantha’s forehead, his lips finally whispering against skin as he pulled her into him. “I’m so sorry.”

Samantha’s eyes peeled wide open with each sound crossing the barrier of Mark’s lips, with each pulling the rug from under her feet. She did not become aware of when heavy tears flattened against her features, no whimper leaving her chest. The silence was deafening, and Mark was one inch away from slipping into a place where she could not reach. The warmth of Samantha’s tears was flooding into the crook of Mark’s neck, and he had to gather all ounces of strength to keep himself together.

Still, voice was trembling. He wouldn’t wish in his wildest dreams to make her cry, when he convinced himself, he would never. “I have to go, Sam. Please, let me go. I need you to be fine with it, you must be fine with it so I can go.”

No physical counter could account for the pain stacking up in Samantha’s being. Mark placed another butterfly peck on her forehead as he distanced his body from hers, briefly caressing her hand with his. Just as Mark was about to turn the knob of the door, a cry bubbled out from Samantha’s mouth.

“How will I love you if you leave?”

Mark’s fingers froze on the knob, his head jolting back to capture Samantha’s saddened frame. To then face her in utmost distrust. That was no moment for his mind to have him hallucinate. “What did you say?”

The woman faced Mark, repeating the sweet words Mark wished to hear, in the faintest of murmurs. “I love you, Mark.”

A sole tear escaped the chains of Mark’s eyelids, and he approached Samantha carefully, barely grasping the events unfolding. Samantha gathered from behind the thick veil formed on her irises that he was still there, still in her proximity. “I didn’t know I loved you the first time you left a note on my coffee table that you walked Murphy after that heavenly sex. I didn’t acknowledge I loved you when I poured my heart out in the rain to the other side of the world where you were, in New Delhi. I understood I loved you when you said you’d take me with you to see the world. And I felt I loved you when you were running through my fingers last night.”

Mark rushed to envelop her absolute anatomy into his arms, swallowed by the need to feel her every atom at the tips of his fingers. There was no force tempting her to break down crying, she was just silently staring into an empty imperfection in the floor. “I was so afraid you’d leave me.”

“I was so afraid you’d never have me,” Mark countered and buried his face into the crown of her head. “Gosh, I feel like an idiot now.”

“Will you leave me?”

When Samantha gathered the strength to finally make eye contact with Mark, the image of her, with the porcelain skin glowing underneath the cascade of tears, with the glimmer of the eye burning with fear, was alluringly devastating. Samantha was convinced the wound of a bullet wouldn’t hurt as badly as Mark denying their love. It all should have started to fall in place. It all should have started to make sense. She should have thanked every deity the otherworldly coincidence for putting mister Dalton into her path, and she also knew she had a long way of repenting for the hurt she caused to Mark. Part of which he confessed again, one too many times. For all of which, she almost chose to ignore.

Almost is never enough.

“It’s almost been half an hour; we are going to lose our plane.” Jinyoung observed, growing steadily impatient. “Someone should go and get him.”

“I’ll go,” Jackson volunteered, fixing the champagne-colored shirt on his body. “We all know how shit this situation is but you of all people should know not to get mad.”

Jackson hopped off the car, to make his way to the hospital entrance. With the paparazzi resurfacing all of a sudden, he wished to be fast and smooth and not attract any more unwanted attention that would add to the already poor situation. Jackson followed the directions to a corner of the lobby where the management offices were listed and took an elevator to the second floor, in search of Samantha Stoss’ office. A quick question, among his fine features and a gentle smile, was all he needed to locate the room towards the middle of an adjacent corridor. From far away, Jackson noticed two people were coming to the same direction as he was going, a beautiful curly haired woman, and a tall blonde manly figure, both in surgical attire.

The faster they approached, the more he recognized the man was the same in the picture with Samantha, straddling the two wheeled vehicle. Their presences were the sole ones in the corridor. Not the one to jump so quickly to conclusions, Jackson chose to be mindful of the other man’s actions.

“Could we help you with something, sir?” the man spoke, a hint of confusion in his voice as he failed to place Jackson in that scenery. It was clear that he did not know who he was. Not the same could have been said about his companion, whose eyes acknowledged his presence differently from that of a complete stranger.

Leena watched him intently and the virtually unnoticeable gesture of her wetting her lips with the tip of her tongue forced Jackson to linger slightly. “Oh, don’t mind me, thank you. I am here for Doctor Stoss.”

Jonathan quirked his eyebrows. “Samantha is quite popular around these parts. So, I gather there’s someone else besides Mark?”

The last remark was intended more for Leena who reciprocated Jackson’s lingering action. “I am not sure bandmates toss their girls around to one another. Am I wrong?”

Jackson chuckled and Jonathan could not help but feel dissatisfied with the exchange. “Much to my dismay, Mark met Doctor Stoss first. Otherwise, who knows?”

Leena laughed and before Jonathan had the chance to reply, Jackson continued. “Apologies, I wish I had more time to stay, I came to take Mark, so we won’t lose our flight.”

“Mark is here?” Leena followed curiously and watched Jackson extend his hand to open the door. Then, leaning to Jonathan, voice lowering into a whisper, eyes fixated on Jackson’s body dressed elegantly in Louis Vuitton attire. “What if they’re having sex?”

“I’d feel too bad to end the goodbye sex.”

Jackson opened the door to meet a hugging Samantha and Mark. Fully clothed otherwise, Jackson noticed Samantha’s face was smeared with tears and he could only hope Mark made it as easy as possible. The couple quickly pulled apart, and Samantha brought her hands to her eyes, to wipe them. Mark frowned at Jackson, if anything to show genuine confusion.

“What are you doing here, Jackson?”

“I hope you’ve finished breaking up because as of right now, you do not really have any other choice.” Previous chapter Next chapter

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write-it-good-imagines · 11 months ago

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Nothing More(M) - Five

Hello everyone!! Long time no see, indeed! I must say I hit writer's block these days but in no way did I abandon this story. Even more so now, when I am so eager to continue. This chapter will bring you spicy surprises and turning points ^^. Enjoy!

~6k words, angst, smut

I want to make you forget about that ex. In truth, I loved the idea of you overthinking all your texts. And I wanted all your neighbors to hear you yell when we have sex. I don’t want it to be a problem when we come together. And I don’t want us a secret.

Jackson plopped down on Mark’s couch, still carrying a serious look of disbelief on his face. “Look, I agree but Bambam literally said what we all thought. Collectively.”

Mark rolled his eyes at Jackson’s remark. He was searching for another song in his playlist to play on his vintage stereo system.

“I think we were more shocked to meet her like that,” Jinyoung continued, leaning against an empty small table in the living room. “Showing up at our studio.”

“And in that motorcycle jacket? Take my money. Did you know she had a bike?” Jackson put a hand dramatically over his chest.

Mark nodded. “Yeah, saw it first time I went to her house.”

“Living the dream. Hottest date, to ride the bikes together around town.”

“Could you stop fantasizing on my behalf?” Mark chuckled in Jackson’s direction and the latter laughed at the note. Mark then turned to Jinyoung, who was cocking an eyebrow. “I had no idea she would come to the studio, believe me. I wanted you to meet her under different circumstances.”

Jinyoung crossed his arms over his chest, a playful look in his eye. “You never told us why you came so early from your date.”

“Yeah, cause it wasn’t a date.” Mark commented and the other two men almost simultaneously turned to him. “Had the surprise to see her with another man.”

The playful look disappeared from Jinyoung’s expression. “You’d have to elaborate on that.”

“I can’t really elaborate, I didn’t stay around enough to see what happened next.” Mark shrugged his shoulders. “The guy had her backed against the lockers, a hand holding her cheek. It was not the first time he… they did that. It was the reason Sam came to the studio.”

“To explain.” Jinyoung completed, albeit not in agreement with the situation. “And what’s your take on that?”

Truth was, Mark did not have an exact answer to Jinyoung’s inquiry. Sure, the scenery of Samantha being present in the proximity of another man displeased and hurt Mark. He built some expectations for the two of them, carried away by their unquestionable synergy, and by the trust exuded by Samantha at every small dare or challenge presented by Mark. He believed in her words, and more than anything he believed in her. Mark believed in Samantha when she said she missed him, when she confided in him, when she said there would not be another guy. So, he put in the effort to carry himself in such a manner that would make Samantha desire him even more. At some point, Mark considered trying to have the talk with her, to play with his cards on the table, to build trust in them as more than just an arrangement.

At the very end, Samantha never promised anything, she never drew the line. Mark did not have it in him to throw the bouquet of the flowers he handpicked in the trash. But he was not indifferent to the image of her subjugated by the intimacy of another that was not him.

“I’ll hear her out.” Mark said lastly, seating himself by Jackson on the couch. A short quirk of the eyebrows as Jinyoung opted to simply nod his head.

“If you’re happy, I’m happy.”

Jackson chuckled. “If you wanted us to actually believe you, you should have used your acting skills at least.”

“Why? Not that convincing?”

Mark agreed with Jackson. “We’ve known each other 12 years. It takes so much more than that.”

The three of them laughed. Truly, a bond that not many people get to have in a lifetime. And Mark knew Jinyoung, as much as everyone else, was looking out for him.

“If you have something to say, just say it.”

Jinyoung sighed and threw his hands in the air. “Look, I know, a good-looking, bike-riding, smart surgeon woman, who has a mysterious aura about herself. I’d be a hypocrite to say I wouldn’t get interested.”

“You know what he’s gonna say.” Jackson extended an arm over the backrest of the couch.

“All I’m saying is that, given the circumstances, I wouldn’t be happy at all. If a guy touched or held the girl I liked like that.”

All eyes were focused on Mark.

“But why don’t you talk to her and set the record straight? I’m all for explaining,” Jackson shifted his body to face Mark, “but if you told her, you liked her beyond just the sex, at least you’d know it’s either this or that.”

Jinyoung moved his hands in a gesture that indicated he agreed with Jackson. And Mark agreed with them, too. In any given situation, he would be the type of man to express his wishes and voice his wants and needs. Mark did not necessarily like the chasing. Within his chest, he knew why he was still playing the game and why he did not walk away the second he saw Samantha with the stranger man who was playing with his mind. Regardless, Mark let the little evil elves whispering in his ear take the reins of reasoning. The bell of the front door started ringing vigorously.

“It’s complicated.” Mark rose from the couch. “It’s also Samantha at the door,” said he, half-doubtful he spoke the words to convince himself it truly was her at the door. When he opened it, he actually made sure of it.

Samantha looked very different since the morning visit to the studio. The commanding behavior softened to a natural feminine aura, the sun-kissed freckles no longer hidden behind foundation accompanied by the mellow smile she had the day they met, everything stunned Mark.

Samantha felt very different.

“Hey, beautiful.” Mark welcomed Samantha with an observation he’d hoped was as visible to her as much as it was to him. Mark was distracted by the lively bark of Murphy, eagerly anticipating a welcome as warm as his mother’s. So, he obliged, the smile sketched on his face growing as he knelt to ruffle Murphy’s fur.

Samantha followed Mark’s carefree movements with warmth coloring her features. She didn’t know what to expect from him; all that she hoped was that Mark wouldn’t look at her with repulsion. Instead, Samantha was met by the same jovial Mark she’d met the very first time. And it scared Samantha that Mark felt very different since morning, all the same.

Did he care, still?

“Hey, yourself.” Samantha replied and watched as he straightened his body to meet her eyes. How much did she wish that that would’ve been their reunion, that he’d plant a kiss on her lips and circle his arms around her frame in a longing embrace. Suddenly, Mark felt so far apart.

“Come in.”

Mark pushed the door open and guided Samantha into the living room. She noticed two very familiar silhouettes, Jackson as he was putting his leather vest on, and Jinyoung as he was gathering his things. Murphy’s little woofs distracted the two men into looking at the source of sound, smiling at the little creature. Eyes speedily travelled to Samantha’s physique, and both greeted her with a smile. Perhaps Jackson’s more expressive. He was the first one to formally introduce himself. There was a lively song playing in the background.

“I’m Jackson, nice to meet you, finally.”

Samantha prevented her eyes from widening. Maybe Mark did speak about her. She took Jackson’s hand and shook it, enjoying his amiability.

“Likewise, Jackson. I truly hope you didn’t think I was a freak or anything.” Samantha offered a smile of her own eliciting a chuckle from the other. She caught Jinyoung in the corner of her eye as he examined her. Not blatantly, yet not covertly either. Samantha wondered what they both thought about her.

“Far from that,” Jinyoung chimed in, giving his own hand for a greeting, “but you definitely incited the collective curiosity.”

Samantha took the invitation, meeting Jinyoung halfway. Out of everyone, she figured he was the toughest to impress. And on good merit, nonetheless. “I wouldn’t say about myself that I’m an open book but please know I’m more than happy to clear the curiosities.”

The corner of Jinyoung’s lips lifted in a modest smirk. “Maybe I’ll heed the invitation.”

Jackson cleared his throat and Jinyoung pulled back. “Don’t worry about us, we were just leaving.”

“No bother at all. I wouldn’t want us to be so formal, it was very nice meeting you both.” Samantha extended her hands to offer the two men a warm wave and a small dip of her head. Jackson and Jinyoung both did the same, the last action they made prior to heading out the door. “Likewise, Samantha”.

Mark’s loud sigh doubled the echo of the closing door which caused Samantha to fiddle with her fingers. “I must have made a terrible impression, haven’t I? They definitely think I’m a freak.”

“Nope, no freak,” Mark turned around to walk toward Samantha’s direction. As he was approaching, he was unzipping his hoodie. “They just don’t know you. Actually, Jackson was quite smitten with you, I could swear he’d want to steal you for himself.”

It was the first time Mark had openly spoken about his members, even more so about anything that had to do with their opinion about her. Mark’s words were not reassuring enough for Samantha as eyes were still focused on her nervous fingers. She didn’t know what to make of the entire situation. “Jinyoung doesn’t like me.”

Mark grabbed at the hem of his T-shirt to throw it over his head. A bracelet at his wrist was tangling loosely when he guided Samantha’s chin to make her look at him. “Out of all of us, Jinyoung is the one who doesn’t play games when it comes to people. You have to make him trust you before he lets you in."

The initial nervousness Samantha felt while fidgeting with her fingers transformed into butterflies into her stomach. Although the main emotion she was feeling was uneasiness, at his words, and at his sudden naked torso. She had but a moment to watch the muscles of his abdomen contract and relax with the movement of the arm which was holding her frozen in place. Henry’s most similar gesture crossed her mind. “Do you play the game, Mark?”

Mark’s irises were fixated on hers. The tone of his voice softened and lowered with each spoken word, until it became little more than a whisper. A question for a question. “Are we playing the game, Sam?”

Samantha’s lips parted with a sigh, the knot in her stomach tightening. There was no hint to suggest that Mark was not serious with his inquiry. She knew the answer to his question, but the words were frozen like they weren’t hers to speak. While Mark was looking at her, with the stoicism of his body and the seriousness of his eyes, Samantha presented herself agonizingly transparent.

“Wasn’t this the way he was holding you?” taunted Mark, drawing closer to her in an even voice. His other hand found the clothed valley of her hips. “Did you want him to kiss you?”

“No.” Samantha stated, an ounce of desperation evading beyond her control. The infinitesimal distance Mark was keeping between them was slowly driving her crazy. And he knew he held all control. “At no point did I want him to kiss me.”

Silence followed. A harrowing silence growing heavier with each movement of Mark’s brown orbs drawing back and forth on her features. Samantha grabbed Mark by the chest. “Say something goddammit!” she urged.

Mark pulled Samantha into him and slammed his lips against hers. In the background, a sexual melody mix broke into the stereo system. Samantha wobbled on her feet, which caused Mark to tighten his grasp around her figure. The background music melted with the swift ringing in her ears and the tips of her fingers turned cold from the unanticipated contact. Mark’s kiss was raw and hurried, yet obscenely sensual. Samantha’s lungs were deflating quickly, and Mark did not seem too eager to let her breathe. It was the first time he initiated such a kiss. His lips had always worked against hers with tenderness, at times enticing, but never so ardently carnal.

It was a possessive kiss and Mark wanted Samantha to feel it.

Mark pushed their bodies into the couch, and he slid his knee in between her thighs. During the brief moment their lips were separated, Samantha gasped for air, which was rather a sharp moan with Mark settling above her, and his clothed knee tormenting her womanhood. “Mark, I can’t breathe.”

“I couldn’t breathe either when he was towering over you, Samantha.” His visage was wearing the same chilling expression, albeit a sliver of distress hiding behind it. “I imagined him doing all sorts of things to you, with you. Fuck.”

Mark tilted his head to the side, a canine digging into the plush of his lower lip. Samantha’s eyes were watching him intensely. She was devoid of any courage to speak a word. Never would she have imagined she would see Mark like that. Not for her.

“I missed you girl, I missed you. And I…” You’re all I fucking think about.

Samantha gulped. She was observing Mark’s every gesture, every little shift in his facial expression, every word he was speaking. All the feelings in her chest were strangers and Mark was tempting and enchanting. He was everything Samantha wanted him to be. Even when he suppressed his thoughts, Mark was everything Samantha wanted. And he was there, in her immediate grasp.

You’re all I ever thought about.

“Kiss me, Mark.”

He didn’t need to be told twice. Mark lowered his body instantly to connect the kiss in a lustful motion. His tongue lost no time to part Samantha’s lips and find her own into a frenzied tango. As his hands slid down to play with the hem of her t-shirt, so did the ever-growing feelings for the woman he was holding. The blood in his veins was pulsating with apparent unrequited affection, and it set him ablaze.

Mark broke the kiss in a nimble motion to undress Samantha of her shirt, to reveal her braless breasts. The tantalizing sight aroused Mark like it did the first time. For him, sex with Samantha felt like it was the first time every time. There was always something new he’d discover in the voluptuousness of her body, in the way her body would curve differently with each heated touch of his hand. Mark licked his lips and undid her shorts.

“Mark…” Samantha mewled, the cold breeze circling her breasts provoked a shudder. She edged her breasts as her eyes darted back and forth between Mark’s hands and the growing bulge in his jeans. Samantha was struggling to form coherent thoughts when he was immorally commanding the pace. She didn’t fight the vulgar lust invading her core. It was easier giving in to the euphoria than acknowledging the truth.

Easier than voicing that Mark should be the one.

“Tell me, darling.” There was a wicked inflection in Mark’s tone, busy with undressing Samantha of her shorts and underwear all at once. “What do you want?”

If it was any other moment, Samantha would have said it was his love she wanted. Still, a hue of shyness colored her rosy cheeks. “I want you, Mark.”

Mark was happy to obey, even if he was convinced Samantha was not speaking seriously. She wanted his body, while he desired her soul. In the heat of the moment, for the short time they’d spend as one, Mark heard what he needed to. That she wanted him, and she’d choose him. He lowered his body to plant kisses through the valley between her breasts, the butterfly pecks eliciting sultry moans out of Samantha’s throat. When his lips passed her chest’s threshold, Mark continued the delicious trail to her abdomen, one hand encircling Samantha’s breast. The other was keeping her thigh from squirming.

Samantha closed her eyes and threw her head into the soft material of the couch to indulge in the intense eroticism Mark was injecting into her body. When his sinful mouth reached her womanhood, Mark chuckled. Then he continued to leave kisses on her inner thigh, deliberately ignoring the wetness of her cavern. Samantha was vexed by Mark’s actions, and she groaned in protest. The hand previously on her breast travelled to her hip to intertwine with her fingers. Mark acknowledged her objection by nibbling a violet spot into her thigh. He traced it with the free index, shifting his body to worship Samantha’s other thigh with blissful movements of the tongue. The little perverted sounds she was making were truly driving Mark to impatience.

The way Samantha’s body was submitting to his febrile touches indicated that she wasn’t that far away either.

Mark pulled away momentarily to unzip his jeans and dispose of them on the floor. The rupture of their connected hands forced Samantha to dig her fingers into the plush of the sofa. The heat in her genitals was much more intense than she anticipated it would be. The simple fact that Mark retreated from tending to her pelvis made her moan loudly, and her vagina clench. Samantha watched him as he undressed himself to reveal his throbbing shaft, and she bit her lip in anticipation. Mark smirked at her and climbed atop her to seat himself between her legs. As he was leaning down to reach her level, the tip of his cock rimmed against soaked clit.

Mark linked their foreheads together, supporting himself with one arm by the side of her head. His other hand rested at the cusp of her jaw. He angled himself at her saturated entrance and slid the tip of his penis inside her. A guttural moan echoed in the air.

“We never did it like this, so tell me if it hurts.” Spoke Mark in a gentle tone and opened his eyes to observe Samantha. She gently shook her head and her fingers stretched into Mark’s shoulder blades to guide his body in a slow thrust. He let out a groan from the depth of his throat, feeling the creamy walls of her vagina enclosing around his shaft. Mark gave her a moment to adapt to his size, gazing intently at her. Samantha was so beautiful, with flushed cheeks and her splendid naked body, all of her offered to him.

Mark felt his heart ache.

“How can you say I’m not making love to you when I’m touching you like this?”

Samantha’s eyelids closed and fluttered open with Mark’s affirmation. The coherent words she tried to form were dispelled instantly when he started moving inside her with controlled thrusts, each forward move taunting her sweet spot. Samantha opened her mouth only to allow the moans to flood the air. And Mark was watching every contraction of her body and indulging in each pulsation of her pussy.

He leaned down to nip at the lobe of her ear. “When you’re giving yourself to me like this?”

“Mark…” Samantha reached to his face to lead the hazel of his eyes to hers. In his eyes she found the same commanding yearning but propelled by a raw sincerity that Mark had not given to her. Everything he was doing gave her a sense of serenity, fueled by the abnormally erotic movements of his hips. In a matter of minutes, she surrendered to him and to the zealous whines her lungs were making.

“What is it, baby?” He picked up the speed of his thrusts, heeding the contractions in Samantha’s womanhood. “You’re close, I know. What I didn’t know is how wet you could get.”

Samantha intended to avert her bashful expression, but Mark’s touch kept her focused on him. “Don’t hide. Let me take care of you.”

Amidst the whorl of sentiments and thoughts racing through her mind, Samantha found an anchor in Mark. She registered all the words he’d spoken to her and all the shielded gestures, and bare confessions. Samantha was powerless to respond, instead. There never was a man in her life to bear his heart on his sleeve, even half of how Mark was bearing his. In her normality, he was an abnormality. And still, he made good of his words and actions and took care of her.

Samantha relaxed in his embrace and extended her body to plant a kiss on his lips. A mellow kiss which Mark reciprocated so naturally that life halted for a second.

Then Mark enveloped Samantha as her body abruptly contracted. She held on to him as she reached for nirvana, her vocal cords enchanting Mark with lascivious breaths repeatedly. Hearing Samantha succumb to ecstasy was the sweetest testament Mark could receive. The hot blood in his veins met the point of boiling as he was getting closer to climax. A couple more lustful thrusts accompanied by roaring groans, each growing faster than the other, brought Mark as close to the edge as he could get. He guided himself out of Samantha’s core to reach his orgasm and paint her abdomen with his white cream.

Samantha enjoyed that particular view of Mark, so much that it was his turn to show a timid smile. It took a little while for Samantha to follow what happened, and when she did, both of them chuckled at each other.

“I’ll get some paper towels.”

“You’ll find me here.”

Samantha’s ears followed the sound of Mark’s steps and the muffled grunt that followed soon after. He returned with a handful of paper towels, and Samantha couldn’t look away from his still hard penis.

Mark took one cloth to clean his canvas half-heartedly. “Round two?”

Samantha giggled. “I’ll have to refuse. Round one was unexpectedly intense.”

“You have no idea how sexy you are.”

Samantha felt her cheek darken once more. She was watching silently as Mark was wiping her abdomen. When he was done, he walked away to throw the used napkins.

“Are you okay? You’re unusually quiet.” Mark’s voice reverberated through the kitchen.

“I’m alright, just a bit tired.” She responded, and Mark immediately walked back to her. He knelt down with her back facing her, gesturing for her to hop on his back.

“Let’s get to bed.”

Samantha hummed and attached herself to Mark’s body. She had never noticed how broad his back was, under the hoodies and oversized shirts he was usually wearing. Mark effortlessly rose from the ground and carried her to the nearby bedroom. He carefully seated Samantha on the edge of his neat bed, and she smiled to herself at the considerable number of pillows residing there. In front of the bed there was a small dressing which Mark opened to retrieve one clean shirt and a pair of shorts for himself.

“I don’t want you to get cold. Here, arms up.” Mark whispered, and Samantha complied with his actions. The dark shirt Mark had given her was large enough to reach her knees. He tossed the thin summery blanket away and helped Samantha up into the nook of his bed.

“Thank you, Mark. You’re so protective of me.” She smiled softly and happily accepted the invitation to encompass herself into Mark’s arms.

He raised an eyebrow, even though she couldn’t see. “You don’t want me to be?”

“I do,” she answered quickly and laced their hands together. “I like this a lot.”

Mark tilted his head to follow the lazy sunset shimmer through the window. The loose hand he folded under his head served as a good excuse to avoid looking Samantha in the eye. As easy as it had been to drown in her orbs while laying together, just as hard it was to do so while returning to reality. Samantha noticed the atypical silence. With the aphrodisiac sensations fading away, all the words that Mark spoke to her started to click. Samantha was drawing absentmindedly on Mark’s forearm with the tip of her index, trying to reproduce the memory of each phrase. The subtle agony of I couldn’t breathe either when he was towering over you, Samantha, the slight panic in the I imagined him doing all sorts of things to you, with you.

The melancholy in the How can you say I’m not making love to you when I’m touching you like this? which made Samantha’s heart tremble was the seed of hope planted in her soul. If there was any source of truth to say that Mark truly harbored feeling for her, it was not tangible anymore.

Mark, once again, felt so different.

“What are you thinking about, Mark?” Samantha looked up at him just in time to see how breathtaking the warm colors of the sunset appeared on his features.

He was silent for a while. “About you.”

Samantha furrowed her eyebrows. “What about me? I’m right here.”

A little sigh. “Nothing… it’s just I’m leaving tomorrow, and we won’t see each other a while again.”

“I know…” Samantha’s voice trailed off in sadness. “I don’t want you to go.”

Mark gave a little squeeze to her hand, eyes still watching the first moments of dusk adorning the sky. “That’s not under my control, unfortunately.”

“I don’t want you to go out of my life, Mark.”

Samantha could swear the vein in Mark’s wrist strained at her words. Still, his expression remained impassable. After a couple moments spent in unmerciful silence, he continued. “Do you think about us? About what we could be?”

The palm of her hand was starting to sweat. Easy answer? Yes, I cannot devote myself to anything that’s not you. True answer? Do you want to take my broken heart? Samantha sensed that she was running out of time, and in hindsight, she should have known that earlier. A man like Mark who had the world at the tips of his fingers, who could have anyone he wished for, wouldn’t say the things he said to any woman that easily. All of it meant something, it should have meant something. It was everything Samantha clung to, for it to mean something. She had to make a decision.

“Forget I asked. You don’t need to say anything.”

“He hit me, Mark.”

The music formerly playing in the background silence of the living room stopped altogether. Mark’s phone must have died, and so did his concentration at Samantha’s sudden confession. His head jerked back to her direction in an impulse to check if she was hurt, even if there was no earthly possibility for her body to be in physical pain at that moment.

Samantha’s mouth was dry, and it shocked her to see Mark’s immediate reaction. She didn’t lose him, he was still there with her. “He hit me after he killed a mother and her unborn child in the operating room.”

“How are we doing there, mrs. Dalton? Can you say something for me?”

Henry’s deft motions of his nimble hands kept raising the standards for a second-year resident. The attendings in the observing room were watching the awake brain surgery with great interest, as was the then-director of the hospital.

“Oh, I can’t wait for this to be done,” the woman rubbed her hand lovingly on her pregnant belly. “Sandra should know the adventures mommy went through.”

“Status on the baby, Doctor Stoss?”

Up until the question was addressed to her, Samantha did not unpeel her eyes from the fetal monitor. “Like a Swiss watch.”

“Keep saying the good news, Doctor Stoss. I’m sure mama Dalton would love to hear that more often.”

“Oh Doctor Carter, I’m sure you were born such a charmer.”

Samantha’s vision was fixated on the handle of the dressing door. She was explaining her memories as if she was living them again. “This surgery had half the hospital watching. It was a procedure previously not done in that medical center, and Henry had had the privilege to participate in one once when we were interns in Toronto. He’s thinking of himself as the hotshot, as he should. His skill and knowledge are top-notch. But they failed him.”

“Doctor Stoss over there can attest to me being a charmer. Or not.” Henry chuckled under his surgical mask, and he quickly stole a glance at Samantha, before focusing on the region of the tumor which he had just reached. “We’re here, mama. Shouldn’t take too long to take it out.”

Mrs. Dalton’s vitals spiked up a level and Samantha observed the nerves on her face. She left her intern in charge of the fetal monitor and approached the woman to reassure her. “It’s going to be okay. We’re here for both you and your little girl.”

Just as Samantha was returning to her previous post, henry was actively preparing to remove the tumor located in a tricky area of mrs. Dalton’s brain. “I’m in.”

The collective audience in the gallery leaned forward to witness Henry’s work. At that point, the loud beeping of the machines pierced the operating room with alarming sounds.

“Doctor Carter, baby’s vitals are starting to drop.”

“What do you mean? What’s going on with my baby?”

“Please try to remain calm, Mrs. Dalton. These reactions happen naturally when a tumor body is being extracted. Once I take this out, everything will get back to normal—”

“Only it didn’t.” Samantha’s fingers curled unconsciously as if reaching out for a scalpel. “I was repeatedly telling him I needed to do a C-Section to save the girl and put her in NICU. At seven months old, she had all the odds of surviving. If only we moved fast enough…”

The distressing sounds of the monitors multiplied when the woman lost consciousness. Her vitals became hectic graphics on the monitors, and Henry visibly stiffened.

“Henry, we are losing this baby. I need to perform the emergency C-Section now.”

“No. I’ll save them both, wait.”

While Henry was applying the standard emergency measures, Samantha’s attention was distracted by the uneasiness of the spectator gallery. She briefly noticed Jonathan, with a looming look on his face that any surgeon regardless of their specialty would understand. The unborn baby was losing its vitals.

“Henry, I’ll move forward. Scalpel, please!”

“I told you to wait! Doctor Stoss, I need you to follow the protocol of my OR.”

“I guess indeed it was his surgery. But those were not his lives to take.”

Half-heartedly, Samantha hesitated to start the neonatal protocol. While Henry had authority, he did not have a positive chance to save both lives. When the fetal monitor fell flat, Samantha went against his instructions and cut into the mother’s belly.

“By the time we took out the little girl, her heart had already stopped beating. We did all the resuscitation maneuvers we knew and could…” Samantha let out a sigh, and Mark pulled her tighter into him. “All hell broke loose. I don’t know when Jonathan got to the OR, but he was there for all of it.”

“Time of death…” Samantha’s discouraged voice echoed throughout the macabre silence of the operating room. “Six thirty-one.” Two paces away, resuscitation maneuvers were still going for the woman on the table. When Henry realized there was no use for them anymore, he stepped away from the body, prompting everyone else to follow his example. “Time of death, six thirty-five.”

Nobody in the room dared move a finger. Two casualties in an operating room which, on paper, could have been avoided. It was a medical disaster. Samantha pulled down her surgical mask, to try and take hold of the situation. “We’ll need to go outside and inform the father—”

“You let her die.”

All eyes fell on Henry. Samantha couldn’t believe her ears. “Excuse me?”

“That baby could have been saved.”

Henry’s voice grew louder, more assertive. Samantha stood her ground, deliberately choosing to ignore Henry’s last comment. “I understand this must be a difficult situation for you, Doctor Carter, but in no way am I to blame.”

“That baby could have been saved!”

As his voice grew into a striking holler, Samantha no longer recognized the man in front of her. She was searching for the proficient doctor, for the partner that he was. And for the lover that he used to be.

“Henry,” Samantha kept calm even though her head was spinning in disbelief “you told me to follow your protocol in your OR—"

At that point, Samantha could not register what had just happened. Henry raised his hand at her and slapped her on the cheek. There was a shared gasp among the people in the room who refused to understand Henry’s tameless reaction. By the time Samantha tilted her head back to look at Henry, Jonathan had stepped up to punch him in the face.

Mark raised an eyebrow. Although he got off to a rocky start with Jonathan, his respect for him grew substantially.

“A couple of guys had to restrain Jonathan because clearly that wouldn’t have been the last punch he would’ve thrown. After that, I went to inform the father of his… losses. Henry was not allowed to accompany me. The father sued the hospital for malpractice, and I have no idea how they settled. I only saw Henry once, after that. They summoned all the medical operating staff to testify. He never looked me in the eye, not once. I wanted to believe that he was sorry, something to make me believe our relationship was not a lie. I never got closure for that.”

Mark waited patiently for Samantha to continue. When she did not, he placed a chaste kiss on the crown of her head. “Did you need that? Closure?”

She sighed. “I guess I did. When you think you have something of that magnitude with someone, only for it to fall apart in the most gruesome way, I needed some sort of a life raft. Truth is, we started falling apart even before he hit me. Henry was starting to become distant and full of himself. But I never expected him to be violent.”

Mark noticed the flake of regret in her voice, to briefly wonder how things are settled in the vast Universe. Hadn’t Henry done that, Mark wouldn’t have gotten to fall in love with her. Life was funny, that way.

Samantha sighed, once again, yet more out of liberation. Albeit painful, she truly needed to convey the feelings out loud for them to become less repressive. Maybe to disappear.

“Can you understand now, Mark? Why he was able to hold me down at all? Why it is tough for me to trust someone again?”

Mark’s lungs filled with air. “Even me?”

Samantha closed her eyes. He did not need to spell it out loud for her to understand what he meant. “I just need a little more time, Mark.”

Indeed, he never expected to hear anything different, it still did not mean it hurt less. On the one hand, because Samantha still didn’t see him fit to be trustworthy, and on the other hand because he seemingly was giving more than she was ready to receive.

“Should I keep my distance then?” his voice was flat, too much so that he must have given away he was disappointed, because Samantha tightened their holding hands.

“No.” She answered timidly, looking up at him for the first time in a long while. Mark’s eyes were diverted to the emerging summer night. He was slipping away through her fingers, once more.

“I don’t know if I can give you both ways.” Not when I know I'll never treat you the way he did.

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write-it-good-imagines · 11 months ago

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write-it-good-imagines · 1 year ago

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little good thoughts go a long way <3

Here’s some good and easy comment ideas for those who feel shy or don’t know what to say but would like to leave something:

1. A classic: keyboard smash such as

Nrbdbsbbkigq or fhbdboejwbakwjev

2. THEM <3

(Fill in pronouns as needed or refer to a pairing)

3. Screaming, crying, throwing up, ect

Or it’s cousin:

4. Kicking my feet, giggling

5. [Block of copy-pasted text] I like/love this bit in particular; I like how you phrased this

6. I keep rotating [character/section of text] in my head

7. I read this while [insert what you were doing; ie: procrastinating a test, waiting for the bus, ect]

8. Extra Kudos!

9. Encore! Bravo! Magnificent!

10. [character name] my beloved

11. I relate to this so hard

Optional, include [line of text] or situation you relate to

12. Thank you for sharing!

13. 💖💖💖

14. I love how you’ve written [x character trait]

15. I love this kind of AU so much!!

16. I’m so excited to see what happens next! I hope [random story prediction here]

17. I will commit atrocities for this character!

18. This is some hella good soup!

19. This is my favorite [trope, paring, au]!

20. AAAAAA They are so [soft/traumatized/attractive]!!!

Feel free to mix and match these for an extra special comment!

Additionally, if you have some favorite go-to comments, feel free to share!

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write-it-good-imagines · 1 year ago

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Nothing More(M) - Four

~5k words; hi everyone! I am so happy to see this story is still growing wings after so much time, and that you still take some time to read it. Thank you for that! In exchange, I'll give you some crazy action. Enjoy~

I’ve learnt my lesson now… I shouldn’t have had sex with you because I knew, I knew that I’d fall in love with you. You are the person someone would be lucky to be in love with.

“So? What are you guys doing tonight? I’m sure there must be something!”

Leena’s cheerful demeanor put a smile on the barista’s face as well. Not intentionally trying, but she attracted everyone to herself like a magnet.

“Ah, I don’t know. We didn’t plan anything, I mean I am at my cousin’s club tonight,” said Samantha, dipping her head in a silent thank you for her double cappuccino. The little coffee spot by the hospital was just perfect to savor an early august morning, on a Friday that started slower and lazier than all other days.

Leena was not pleased with Samantha’s answer. “Really? Did not plan anything? You tell me, for once in forever, you open your soul up to a guy, after which you two talk non-stop, like a married couple, only to tell me you are taking a shift at the club the day he’s coming back?”

“Well, we don’t talk non-stop, I mean he’s got shows to do and I am taking consults—”

“Outrageous.” Concluded Leena and seated herself at a secluded table. Samantha followed soon enough. “It is exactly because you are taking consults again that I can’t comprehend why you’re running away from him. For God’s sake, you had a surgery.”

Samantha’s eyes fell to the milky foam of her coffee cup. “I had a surgery.”

“And how did that make you feel?”

The woman nodded her head. “Like it was the first time. Thrilling, exciting. But knowing exactly what to do.”

“Just allow yourself to love the guy.”

Samantha scoffed as if Leena had just told her she won the lottery. Highly unlikely, but a possibility even so. “Oh please, I don’t love Mark.”

Leena arched her eyebrows and took a sip of her espresso. “No shit you don’t.”

“No, really. You don’t love a guy who goes up on a stage every night to rip his shirt off and has thousands of girls lining up to get a piece.”

“And does he?” Leena inched closer to Samantha. “Give a piece? Do tell.”

“Well,” Samantha crossed her arms over her chest. ”Says he doesn’t.”

“Yeah, cause when you assumed he was out whoring he was sleeping.”

“He was sleeping. I think I know a thing of two about him sleeping.”

Leena urged the other to go on. “What else? Ripping his shirt off on the stage you mentioned.”

“Aren’t these kind of guys players? If I look up a photo of last night’s concert, I’ll bet my entire salary that I find one with those tattooed abs of his shoved in my face.” Samantha said, and Leena could not detect even an ounce of regret or sadness in her voice. More like intrigued jealousy.

“You asked him to be your fuck buddy,” with the hand holding the cap, Leena extended an index to point to the other. “Don’t call him a player. Because he was anything but.”

Just as Samantha was opening her mouth to protest, the screen of her phone lit up with a couple of messages. Her actions were stopped to scan the texts with her eyes and a smile tugged at her lips.

“Mhm,” Leena said, tilting her head towards the direction of the phone. “What did he say?”

“Ah, that he’s preparing to go to the airport.”

“The exact words?”

She knew she did not have any chance to escape Leena at that point. “Quote: good morning beautiful. I hope you have an amazing day today. We’re gathering our stuff to fly out. Can’t wait to see you again. End of quotation.”

“Such a player, no?” Leena mocked surprise then laughed at Samantha, who had nothing to contest about what her friend outlined so harshly. In the days following their late-night conversation when Mark was in New Delhi, they kept closely in touch, each texting one another when they found a moment of quiet in their busy schedules. Their discussions did not delve into much depth but were more like quick check-ups to strengthen the connection. Samantha would tell Mark about her days and her patients, and he would ask questions to clarify topics, or would give compliments to praise her work. Mark in turn would talk about the concerts, and the cities he’d fly to, and it took Samantha’s breath away every time he’d say he would take her with him to see what he saw.

Samantha grabbed the phone from the table surface to text Mark back. “What am I even doing, Leena?”

[To: Mark] good morning to you too, Mark 😊

[To: Mark] always aiming to put a smile on my face huh?

[To: Mark] safe travels!! I missed you too

[To: Mark] having a shift at the club tonight, meet me there? I’ll talk to my cousin to leave earlier

“What you are doing,” Leena started, twirling the cup around to play with the dark brown liquid “is not acknowledging your feelings. I can understand you’re still scarred because of Henry but Mark is not him. And I think he’ll help you heal.”

A short ding came from Samantha’s phone almost instantly.

[From: Mark] took you long enough to tell me you missed me

[From: Mark] thanks, flights back home are always tougher

[From: Mark] I’ll be there. there’s a cool skate rink nearby that’s open till late

[From: Mark] if you wanna go, ofc

A sigh escaped Samantha’s lips as her eyes scanned the mobile screen. “I know,” Samantha lifted the phone for Leena to see the texts and the other gave a small gesture, indicating she was on Mark’s side. “I guess I never allowed myself to get over Henry entirely. Not fair to Mark.”

“You said you’d talk to him, right? Besides, you’ve already fucked each other, it’s not like you don’t know intimacy.”

Both Leena and Samantha laughed. Then a lingering expression followed on Samantha’s features. “Mark said he couldn’t make love to me and leave the following day like the next guy.”

Leena’s eyes widened in clear surprise. “Mark said he’s making love to you.”

“It’s just sex, I know. That was an exaggeration.”

“Sam,” Leena adjusted the empty cup on the table and took Samantha’s hands into her own, and, albeit a dramatic gesture, she meant all the seriousness she could muster. “Talk to him. Tell him how you truly feel. He’s not seeing you as a simple fuck buddy anymore. Mark will prove this to you, most likely sooner rather than later.”

During the rest of the day, Samantha felt restless, restless with Leena’s words echoing in her mind, restless with Mark’s words flooding over, time after time. Samantha’s life was growing busier by the day, word of her returning to practice bringing more patients which required her knowledgeable care. She returned to observing surgeries, involving herself in helping whenever necessary, and taking upon other surgeries. Ultimately, she couldn’t make sense of why she allowed herself to be so consumed of Henry’s mistakes and treatment. Why she pulled away from the thing that made the most sense. It was so long ago that she couldn’t remember what prompted her to tug away. It should have been a sign to start anew.

And then life was growing busier by the day with Mark intoxicating her thoughts. A wicked game, chasing away feelings which only returned stronger, more vivid. Samantha did miss Mark, in his entirety. She missed the cozy scent of his Tom Ford cologne when he embraced her, she missed the coarse gentle tone of his voice when he made jokes, and she missed his passionate way of making love.

Samantha decided she would give Mark a chance, beyond just being her fuck buddy.

With that conviction in mind, Samantha left the hospital and rode straight home to prepare herself for the night, in both mental and physical terms. All her makeup products and brushes felt so unfamiliar she found herself wondering when the last time was when she took the time to pamper herself. She dressed herself with a burgundy low-shoulder crop top, with flowy butterfly long sleeves, and a plain black pair of jeans to hug her curves. Samantha gave her hair the freedom to bounce with the wind to complete her look. A quick text exchange with her cousin gave her the green light to leave the club as soon as Mark showed up.

At around 9:30, Samantha arrived at the club, shortly before it opened to the public. Changwook was there as well, an all hands on deck kind of night.

“Hey stranger,” Changwook lifted his head from the bar sink and was thrown off guard by Samantha’s looks. He had to clear his throat to regain his composure. “You’re beautiful.”

“Today only?” Samantha retorted and approached the bar counter, shoving a small backpack under it. She ran a strand of hair behind her ear and Changwook looked away.

“Guess I wasn’t the chosen one.” He stated and threw Samantha an apron. She looked at him with an apologetic look but couldn’t find anything right to say. “It’s cool, really, least I tried.”

“Changwook, it’s not your fault. I’m just…”

Changwook smiled and waved his hand in dismissal. “Not interested. Let’s get to business, we’re opening soon.”

As the night grew deeper, the club welcomed many eager customers to announce yet another successful night for Samantha’s cousin. From behind the bar counter, Samantha noticed a good number of celebrities intertwined in the crowd and her eyes couldn’t help but wander around in search for Mark. In the serving haste, her apron became drenched with water and alcohol, so she whispered to Changwook’s ear that she would go to the back room to get another. Mingling through the crowd, Samantha arrived quickly at the changing room and closed the door behind her. She opened her locker to grab a fresh apron and was just finishing untying the dirty one, when the door clicked open.

Samantha’s lips couldn’t contain an enthusiastic yet nervous smile. She straightened her body, fixing her hair quickly with a swift motion of the hand before turning to the direction of the sound.

She could never have been prepared for the stature towering in front of the closed door.

A white half-transparent shirt which wrapped a chiseled body, with a silver bracelet at the hand lingering in one of the fabric pockets of the trousers, in a stance Samantha knew like the back of her hand. His hair was sleeked back, only a rebel strand playing at his thick eyelashes.

“Henry.” Samantha breathed, the delight of her expression faltering all too soon. She felt her throat choking.

“It’s too bad that happiness on your face was not for me. And saddening you look so bitter instead.” Henry spoke, maintaining a velvety smile. “I’m happy to see you.”

Henry took a couple steps closer to Samantha. She kept her ground. “I’m not. I don’t want anything to do with you.”

“Oh, come on, don’t be so rude.” With each step he took forward, Samantha took one back, until her back was pressed against the cold metal of the lockers. She was looking at him sharply in the eye. “It’s been almost two years, I missed you.”

Samantha pushed a hand to his chest to warn him not to get any closer. Henry complied, keeping at a distance that was still not comfortable for her. “Don’t get any closer. Don’t give me the speech on how you missed me after you humiliated me in front of the entire hospital. I want you to leave.”

It took every ounce of Samantha’s strength an effort to confront Henry at a time like that. If there was anything he was good at, it was taking people by surprise at the wrong moments. The first time in a long while Henry was not residing in the back of her head appeared to be the magic trick to summon him into her life again. When he still had a lot of control over her feelings and her reactions.

Henry drew in closer, his tall stature hovering over her. He kept carrying the same smile, trying to ease the tension between them. When he raised a hand to cup Samantha’s cheek, her body quivered and froze all at once.

“But I’ve heard so many great things about you, darling. Management position, and once again operating. When we see each other tomorrow morning at the hospital, I’d really like to know why you stopped taking surgeries.”

There was not enough time for Samantha to process Henry’s words because the door clicked open to interrupt the scene.

There he was, the reason for Samantha’s happiness, even more handsome with a brown short-sleeved shirt and straight grey trousers, which indicated he took the effort to care for his looks. In his hand, he held a breathtaking bouquet arrangement with delicate snapdragons, elegant red roses, fragrant dianthus, and vibrant alstroemeria. A bouquet of a Parisian romance.

There was Mark, with a smile that lit up Samantha’s whole world, now evaporated into oblivion. At a closer look, you could still distinguish a faint trace of a smile, probably in excitement to see you again. Samantha would never come to know whether that was true. The thing she would know and would remember was Mark’s sadness unskillfully hidden behind a bleak smile.

Mark was not supposed to see that. Had the Universe been kind for once, he should have never seen what he just had. Panic was outlined all over Samantha’s features as soon as her eyes locked with Mark’s desolated ones. With the way he carried himself, even more masculine and so sure of himself, Henry would never guess Mark took a hefty blow.

“Thanks for the chat.” He stated simply and threw a brief look in Henry’s direction before backing away from the room. The murmur of a phrase that became so intimate to her was now the reason the tense air of the room strangled her out.

Samantha slapped Henry’s hand away from her cheek, tears crippling at her eyes. Henry’s gaze grew curious. “So he was the one your happiness was for. Maybe I should thank him.”

“Leave me the fuck alone.” Grunted Samantha and unpeeled herself from the lockers to chase after Mark. She swam through the crowd to get to the bar counter and reached for her backpack in a hurried motion. Changwook’s attention was diverted to her, and he had to look twice when he noticed her tears in his peripheral vision.

“Samantha—”

Samantha lifted her hand in the air to keep the distance and she dashed away, reaching the outside of the club a tad too late. The only sighting of Mark was the bouquet of flowers left desolately on a nearby bench. Samantha stretched her arms to lift it from the bleak wood and a card fell to the ground. She picked it up and a tear fell on the black ink inside the ceramic envelope. Mark’s handwriting lived inside, just for her.

Would you like to be my date?

The fifth call ended to voicemail. Samantha paced back and forth in her living room, fingers covering her mouth while the other hand was clenched on the phone. The moon hung high in the sky yet the translucent gleam painting over the flowers altered them to cast a painful sadness throughout Samantha’s house. She sat down on the couch, an inhibited tiny stream of tears flowing down her cheek. Samantha paid no attention to Murphy whose paws were patting all over her legs, in an attempt to soothe her sorrow. Poor thing couldn’t know why she was so sad, and she didn’t allow him to ease her mind. Murphy settled on curling himself against her feet, waiting patiently for her to let him in.

After some time spent in silence, she chuckled. The whole situation was, in fact, hilarious. Samantha leaned her back onto the couch, eyes fixated on the nothingness of the ceiling. At one point, she thought about going to Mark’s house. The impediment was that she did not know where he lived. And another impediment would be that he made himself clear he would not be happy with her company.

It was funny how things decided to play out the way they did. The perfume of the fresh flowers made her wonder if Mark picked them by himself. Mark was supposed to find out everything, she was supposed to tell him about Henry being the reason she so adamantly pushed him away. Mark was not supposed to see Henry so close in her proximity, touching her so familiarly and playing all the right cards to have her frozen in place.

Now Mark was everywhere, a permanent resident in her mind, a permanent resident in her soul, he was everything Samantha wanted and everything that was sliding away.

The rest of the night passed at an agonizingly slow speed. Samantha spent much of it on the couch, brown orbs dashing back and forth between the flowers on the coffee table and the dark screen of her phone. She managed to doze off for a little while, still aware of her surroundings, and the only scene that replayed in her mind was the handsome image of Mark, with the spending smile on his lips and the ruffle in his hairstyle. It stopped there, and it then replayed from the top. It was like nothing else existed.

It was then she took the decision to go and visit him directly at his studio. At the crack of dawn, Samantha gently awoke Murphy from her feet and took the opportunity to grab some fresh air while walking him. By the time she realized she hadn’t taken off her make-up, she could only hope the mascara was not smeared too much. Feeling a tad more refreshed after the walk, Samantha fed her little man and reassured him, with loving snuggles and pats in his fur, that he was loved and appreciated. With a little bark he must have understood the message.

Samantha took a shower to cleanse off the events of the previous night and went to put on her office outfit for the day. Having early consultations and a surgery check-up scheduled for the second part of the day, she texted her attending that she would join them some time after the rounds. Then, she texted Leena.

[To: Leena] morning Leena, will be late today for rounds, don’t wait up

[From: Leena] oh? Mark kept you up all night?

[To: Leena] something happened last night and we couldn’t be with each other

[To: Leena] I’ll tell you when we meet

[From: Leena] ok, I’ll cover for you

[From: Leena] I’m still good to go on OBGYN.

Mark’s group’s studio was not too far away from the hospital, and Samantha parked her motorcycle outside of the tall building. The sudden visit was not planned ahead by Samantha who let her feelings take the lead. Not the one to usually lose composure, it rarely happened for her to give her heart the reins. Samantha tied her helmet to the bike and strengthened her white coat under the leather motorcycle jacket.

Inside the building, the modern lobby was guarded by three security guards, with subtle movements but ever so vigilant. They cocked their eyebrows as the clicks of her heels echoed against the black marble, her hospital badge dangling by the pocket.

Samantha approached the receptionist’s desk. “Hi, my name is Doctor Samantha Stoss, I am looking for Mark Tuan.”

“Hello. I am sorry but the group is not expecting any visitors today. Should I say you dropped by?”

At the nearby elevator, Samantha heard two other dancers discussing choreography for Mark’s group and that they’d get breakfast before joining them. Which meant that Mark was there, at that exact moment. Samantha’s heart picked up a beat in her chest.

“Yes, thank you, I’ll wait in the visitor’s area for when he’ll be available.”

Samantha was guided by security to the floor where the group was at, and was instructed to wait in the lobby area, where a couple of other people were sitting. All the other people were too busy to notice the moment she left the lobby, to walk towards the hall with the practice studios. Most of the rooms were still devoid of light, except for a singular one at the far end of the hall, where muffled laughter animated the atmosphere. The echo of her heeled steps was reverberating in her ears, enough to stifle the emotions in her chest.

The door to the studio was open and Samantha stopped in the frame.

“Mark.”

Collectively, all the sounds dissolved into thin air, and all the other members stopped dead in their various stretching positions. Mark was sitting on the floor as he tilted his head backwards to look at Samantha. It seemed that, initially, he couldn’t believe Samantha was standing in their doorframe.

“Oh, so you are Mark’s girlfriend? You are astonishing.” Bambam tweedled and Jackson had to muffle his mouth to prevent him from saying anything further, notwithstanding with his own lips parted in blatant shock. One had to give it to him, he was good at breaking a brutal silence. A couple of paces nearby, Samantha noticed Jinyoung smiling at her and if she didn’t know any better, she’d say his greeting smile was razor-sharp. All of a sudden, Samantha wondered how Mark spoke of her to the guys. If he did, at all.

“Excuse us a moment, guys.” Mark straightened his body from the floor, his eyes never leaving Samantha’s silhouette. Samantha stepped aside, allowing Mark to walk by and guide them both to an empty studio nearby. He closed the door behind them with a powerful motion, which tied a knot in Samantha’s stomach.

She was searching for any sentiment in Mark’s posture, be it anger, sadness, excitement, anything it could have been. She was met with stoicism instead.

“You didn’t return my calls.” Began Samantha. Mark simply nodded. “And you haven’t texted back, either.”

“Yeah, I didn’t. Figured you’d be busy.”

The harshness of his words made Samantha wince. “Don’t do this Mark.”

“I’m not doing anything. We’re leaving again day after tomorrow and…”

He stopped for a moment and it took her breath away. Mark’s mask was slowly starting to fade away. It was then Samantha noticed his eyes were tired. They had so few moments together and an entire night out of those was ruined, because of Henry. Because of her.

“…we’re rehearsing a new set. So, I really have just a moment. Why are you here?”

Samantha wanted to inch closer to him, to hug him, to get lost in his presence. She refrained from doing so. “I’m here because I missed you, Mark. Because last night was a huge misunderstanding and because you didn’t allow me to explain.”

“Explain?” Mark called out in an even voice, but his hand threw the hood of his sweatshirt to rake his hair in a precipitous movement. “You told me no one touched you since I left. That you don’t think anyone will. We were supposed to go out on a date, and I come pick you up to what?”

“Mark, listen to me—”

“Sam, he touched you like he knew you inside out, like he did that a thousand times before. “

“Mark, stop—”

“I don’t know you inside out.”

Samantha’s eyes narrowed to prevent another set of tears from forming behind her eyelids. Mark’s hands dropped to his sides as he took a deep, fatigued breath. “I know I’m just the sex but at least don’t lead me on if you have no other plans for us.”

“Mark, Henry is the more I needed to tell you about!”

Samantha raised her voice, and she didn’t realize a tear escaped away from its enclosure. At its sight, Mark’s features instantly soothed. “I took the flowers home Mark, thank you for not throwing them away. They were beautiful. Yes, I want to be your date, and yes, I am sad you are leaving so soon and I’m throwing us away. I want you to understand Henry has no place in my present, or in my future.”

“Henry,” Mark started, checking his smartwatch as it vibrated, ��has a place in your present if he gets to touch you and halt your every move like he seemed to do last night. I gotta go. I’ll call.”

“Will you really?” Samantha exhaled, watching Mark’s back as he turned to walk away. He looked at her over his shoulder.

“Yes. I’ll call.”

The ride back to the hospital was agonizing, even if fast. There were seeds of doubt and uneasiness planted into her mind. Part of her wanted to believe that Mark would call, and he’d grant her the chance to set the record straight, but the better part of herself pushed her to believe he would pack his bags and get out of her life. Samantha barely had time to gather herself together, just as she got ambushed right at the entrance by both Jonathan and Leena. And they were far from being happy.

“Would you care to tell us why Henry is back and why he’s so boastfully claiming to having you back?”

Jonathan’s voice woke Samantha from her trance. Without any warning, the events of the previous night stretched farther than Mark looking handsome and ready to sweep her off her feet.

When we see each other tomorrow morning at the hospital, I’d really like to know why you stopped taking surgeries. Samantha felt like she was going to throw up.

“So, it was true.” she said quietly, arming herself with the realest impassivity she was able to forge.

“What do you mean it was true? Why is the bastard here?”

“Jonathan, I have no idea, okay?” Samantha turned to him, and Jonathan’s eyes noticed the anger blended with the heartache in her hazel irises. “He barged into the club last night, surprised me into the changing room and touched my cheek and it made my body tighten. Just as Mark opened the door and looked at me like I was the most disgusting whore on the planet. So, don’t fucking ask me.”

Leena reached to Samantha to envelop her in an embrace. “Sweetie, are you okay? Why didn’t you call me, either of us? Did you get any sleep?”

Samantha shook her head as she tightened the hug. “Not much, no. I went to see Mark this morning. Needless to say, it went badly.”

Jonathan was boiling with displeasure but if anyone saw him from outside, they’d never guess he was ire. Only by his glassy emerald eyes.

“What did he tell you, guys?”

“Certainly, didn’t speak much,” Jonathan concluded, and Leena had to slide her fingers over his knuckles to untighten his hand from the pressure. “He joined the rounds this morning, my neuro rounds. When chief asked for you, he said you’d had a rough night. Gosh, Sam, you should have called us because I was about to smash his head in, thinking he’d forced himself upon you.”

“I’m fine, Jonathan,” at least physically, she was. Mentally, Samantha was only just juggling the tumult. “Henry joined your rounds because there’s only one attending spot in neuro, we all knew.”

Samantha locked her eyes with Jonathan’s. “We’re not waging wars. I am going to walk in there, with my head held high, and I am going to confront him.”

“How can you be so calm? Why are you so calm? Henry’s got no place here, with none of us.”

In the distance, Samantha’s gaze fell upon Henry, absentmindedly flirting with a nurse, while his awareness was invested in her. If she allowed herself to give into her emotions, they would consume her entirely.

“That’s not for any of us to decide. It’s for you to decide if you’re better than him as attending.”

Jonathan couldn’t believe his ears. He was watching Samantha as she walked into the building, in a straight path to the devil. Within himself, he acknowledged she was not in the same spot Henry left her, two years ago. Jonathan was afraid that one wrong move would make her crumble.

“Good morning to you, my fair lady.” Henry shifted his position on the elbow leaning against the nurse’s station, to face Samantha with an inviting smirk. “Can I interest you with a coffee?”

“Doctor Carter,” Samantha acknowledged him, waiting for her charts to be delivered to the nurse’s station. Henry allowed his gaze to observe Samantha’s leather motorcycle jacket, over a tight crayon olive dress, and her doctor’s coat matching the white stilettos on her feet. Samantha was very aware of his charade. It was the same he used to win her from Jonathan, years ago. “No thank you, I’m drinking tea now.”

Henry chuckled, clasping his hands together. “Are you comfortable riding the bike on those gorgeous heels? Jimmy Choos?”

“Look, doctor Carter,” Samantha took the charts from the station, a silent smile directed to the nurse. At that point, not only did she realize she could not compare with Samantha, but she couldn’t keep up with Henry. “Let me set things straight. One, stop claiming me as if I’m some object. Two, I prefer not to intersect paths with you.”

“Oh? So why did you ditch lovely doctor Williams there to talk to me?”

At any given point, Samantha would have succumbed to Henry’s charms. But she took a good look at him, and he was not Mark, and he would never be. Henry had the element of surprise when his fingers brushed against her skin. Samantha was not completely sure her body would fight back should there be another intentional touch of his, but her mind was.

“You see, Henry,” Samantha looked up at him to counter the lingering smirk on his lips. Admittedly, Henry was surprised. “First time, it was on purpose. Second time, I want to set the record straight. Don’t touch me, ever again. I don’t know what your intentions are, but I want nothing to do with you.”

“Is that so?” Henry challenged and lowered his head to match Samantha’s gaze. She gulped, a gesture that did not go unnoticed. “Something tells me you’re not telling the truth.”

“Doctor Carter.” Jonathan’s even tone broke Henry’s stance. The latter fixed the collar of his coat.

“Doctor Williams! Let’s have a healthy competition, shall we? Rumor has it you’re racing for attending this year. And, of course,” he gestured to Samantha “you must have the support of most of the residents of this hospital.”

“What I can say to you is good luck. If you still have that nice camera, you can take a picture of me when I become attending.”

Henry laughed and waved a hand in a dismissive manner in the air, before walking away at his pager pinged. “Didn’t you choose neurosurgery just to try and steal Samantha from me? That’s a bit of wishful thinking on your side.”

Leena’s eyes widened at Henry’s claims, even more at Jonathan’s irritated lack of response. She then looked at Samantha who seemed familiar enough with the remark. Leena’s pager beeped soon after and followed in Henry’s steps, azure orbs lingering on Jonathan’s jaded ones. He was apologetic to her and the last time he saw Leena that day was bitter, with her disappointed expression.

Samantha’s phone started ringing in her pocket. She walked away towards her neo-natal ward and slid a hand to her pocket, answering before checking the number.

“Doctor Samantha Stoss, what can I help you with?”

“Didn’t know you recommended yourself like that when speaking, doctor Stoss.”

Samantha had to recompose herself, exhaling in relief. “Mark, hey. Sorry, morning was just crazy.”

Mark chuckled on the other line. “Doesn’t give you the chance to get bored. You can tell me all about your day tonight, if you wanna watch a movie at my place.”

Samantha giggled, allowing Mark to register her contentment. “Sounds… sounds very nice. Thank you, Mark.”

“Of course,” Mark’s voice adopted a sliver of a commanding tone, “I cannot guarantee we’re not going to have angsty sex before, or after. Or both.”

Samantha gasped. As much as Mark’s words provoked her womanhood, they also provoked anxiety. Anxiety that he’d end their hopes before they grew wings. “I’ll be there.”

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write-it-good-imagines · 1 year ago

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Nothing More(M) - Three

~5k words, in this chapter we see how Mark and Sam navigate being apart from one another and how rain washes over the souls. Enjoy and don't hesitate to let me know what you think about it!

Don’t you want to try it? Are you scared to start? There’s no one you’ll find that’s quite like me.

Do you wanna take my broken heart?

Fame, music, concerts, freedom, artistry. In a fruitless attempt to sum up all that being an artist meant to Mark, the ability to walk up on the stage in front of as many as 60,000 people was exhilarating. It never stopped being meaningful. To inspire another person enough to have them watch and admire thyself was not only a privilege but also a responsibility.

Each concert began with the same mantra, it would be safe to assume for each of the seven members was the same. Each time they would walk on and make sure they enjoyed themselves to the maximum, as much as they made sure they would do their best. In the tumult of the shows, there was now something different.

All the love songs sounded a little different.

When the love song was hopeful, Mark performed happier. When the love song was desperate, Mark performed sadder. It all played a bigger part in the tapestry of each performance, but it would never go unnoticed by those closest to him. With each show, the emotion grew little by little. And as much as Mark tried to dismiss it to the back of his head, it sneaked right back in when the lights turned down.

It always came back when he wanted to forget.

When the lights turned down over Jakarta, the boys were still bowing to the audience. Under the ravenous applause and the avalanche of confetti, the platform on the stage brought the boys down under the concert set. Another night ended in complete success.

Mark was the last one to dispose of his ear set. He stretched his arms above his head and felt a cramp starting to settle at his nape.

“Mark?” Jackson traced behind the group to match his pace with the other. “You good?”

“Yeah,” sighed Mark, massaging the tense muscles in his neck. “Just a little tired I guess.”

“Huh, we still have one week and a half to go, if you’re tired now... “ Jackson joked and nudged Mark with his elbow. “Getting old?”

Mark threw an arm around Jackson’s shoulder in a friendly hug. “No chance.”

“Passionate out there I’d say.” Jackson began, fidgeting. “Each concert getting only more passionate.”

“Yeah? Thanks. Aren’t we supposed to be like that?”

Silence.

“No?”

“I mean, sure.”

Jackson shrugged his shoulders. That’s when it hit Mark.

“Should’ve asked me to my face, Jackson.”

Jackson sighed. “I’m not good at subtleties!” He cleared his throat. “But you haven’t told us nothing in… ever since we left.”

“There’s nothing to tell, Jackson.”

Jackson stopped dead in his tracks, looking at the other with a much softer expression than he would have liked.

“There really isn’t.” Mark concluded, walking ahead of Jackson. “I am the sex. She was the sex. That’s it.”

Mark grabbed a bottle of water from an adjacent table to drown out the words, and the apparent reality. Spelling out loud that they never spoke after he flied out left a burn to his throat.

A couple thousand miles away, Samantha was jerking her body to the other side of the bed. She extended her hand to grab a hold of her phone. 2:15 AM. With a light groan, she threw her feet into her bed slippers, rose from the bed, and hugged her body into her bathrobe. Murphy perked an ear up in response to the sudden movement, but he was not interested enough to follow Samantha from his nest.

Samantha opened the kitchen window to fill her lungs with a breath of fresh air. When she unlocked her phone, she realized that her latest google search was still pointing to Mark’s band’s latest concert.

Jakarta: more than 20,000 fans delirious after boyband’s successful stop.

Live pictures from the concert were quick to flood the internet. Samantha’s finger hovered over a very flattering picture of Mark, half-naked on stage, his chiseled abdomen contracting with whatever movement he was making. One arm was lifted in the air to hype the crowd, the other holding up his microphone. The tattoo reaching over his right set of ribs was vivid to the eye.

The kiss in the locker of the club flashed into Samantha’s memory.

Samantha locked her phone and slid it across the kitchen counter, leaning herself against the window frame, with one arm hugging her side. To the contrary, what should have come to mind should have been the dirtier times, all the times her fingernails drew over his tattoos, reshaping them into muscle memory.

She sighed, her eyes fixated on the shimmering full moon. If she called, would he pick up?

“Probably not. He has all those girls to keep him busy.” Samantha lied to herself, unable to resist the urge to pick up her phone. She hesitated, reading Mark’s name on the screen over and over again. Until she tapped on it.

Once, twice… “Mark?”

The call went to voicemail. Her voice deflated in disappointment.

“All those girls to keep him busy.”

The next dawn, Samantha was already ready to leave for the hospital. Sleep was light and uncertain, and she tried to mask it with concealer and foundation. In a haste to leave the house, she grabbed her motorcycle helmet, to catch a ride in hopes of easing her mind.

Sun was cracking out on the horizon, tangerine hues intertwined with tamed shades of red. Samantha took a longer route to the hospital to enjoy the scenery. Chestnuts strands tossed out of the helmet were gliding freely in the wind in an enduring antithesis with her thoughts.

‘You’re going to have to find a replacement for me.’

Unbeknownst to her, Samantha’s hand switched another gear.

‘I cannot make love to you and leave the next day like I am the worst scum to have ever walked this Earth. I am not that guy.’

The motorcycle revved once again.

‘You are irresistible, you know that?’

Samantha reached the hospital faster than she anticipated. She took off her helmet and shook her head to the sides, ruffling her long strands in the process. She locked the bike and put her helmet under her arm, a high-pitched whistle distracting her from her thoughts.

“Nice suit, cat-girl,” Jonathan smirked, locking his Yamaha super sport bike some paces away from Samantha. “We should ride out together next time.”

“I’ll think about it.” She stated simply, taking the lead towards the entrance of the hospital.

“That’s it? No smart reply, no anything? Wow, did I do anything to offend you?”

Samantha threw out a chuckle. “Not necessarily, just didn’t get that much sleep.”

Jonathan caught up with her, entering the hospital at the same time. “Oh? Mind me asking why?”

“Yes.”

“Touche. But I can take a wild guess.”

“Don’t take a wild guess.” Samantha offered a polite smile to the nurse’s station, grabbing the medical documents of a case.

“How’s Romeo doing? Wait, is that a—”

“Yes Jonathan, I’ll take a consult today.”

Jonathan put a hand over his mouth in a mocked attempt to hide his shock. “No fucking way, are you actually coming back?”

“Wait and see!” Samantha chirped, walking away to her office, the bounce in her hair leaving Jonathan with a smile imprinted on his face.

“And I told him he should have bought Rome! If he’d bought Rome, he would’ve won that trade on the airport with you, Jinyoung!”

A hearty laugh filled the room as Mark and Jinyoung entered Mark’s hotel room. The sun was well up in the blue of Jakarta sky, sending its shimmering beams across the universe. A sleepless night passed for the seven boys, fighting one another to the death to the Monopoly title. Their departure was set in a couple of hours to Kuala Lumpur that left them at liberty to let a night’s sleep go by.

“Bambam’s sweet tooth for money, what can I say.” Jinyoung threw his body on the bed, eyes glued to the ceiling to revisit his winning strategy. “Truth be told, he never had a chance to win.”

“You just led him on.” Mark chuckled and walked to the bathroom. “I am going to take a shower to wash off the defeat.”

“You bet.” Jinyoung rolled over on his chest, hand reaching out for the phone in his pocket. His movement on the bed caused Mark’s phone to light up. The water in the bathroom was not running yet.

“Hey, Mark,” Jinyoung shouted for the other. “You have a missed call.”

“Yeah?” Mark’s voice echoed. “Text Joey and let him know I’ll call back.”

There was a delay in Jinyoung’s response. “It wasn’t Joey. It’s Samantha.”

The next thing he heard was the faltering sound of the water running in the shower. Mark stepped under the rapid droplets, closing his eyes. It had been 11 days since they’d last spoken and she only left an unpicked call behind. It was not like Mark was expectant of something else entirely to happen, but he did not know how to feel. Happy that she had reached out? Bitter that she had not tried more?

Mark slapped his hands against the cold tiles to steady himself. As vehemently as he tried to distance himself from Samantha, something tugged him closer. Mark felt like he walked one step ahead, and two steps behind. He kept reciting to himself that it was not real, the feelings he rejected to feel. He couldn’t allow himself to miss her.

Still, I miss you.

The bathroom door opened, and Mark walked into the room with a towel ruffling his damp hair.

“So?” Jinyoung spoke, thumb scrolling lazily on his Instagram. “Are you going to call her back?”

“Probably,” reacted Mark, almost choking on his own spit. Would it be pitiful to acknowledge to the other that, in fact, he was not as nonchalant as he wanted to let on? “when we leave later for the airport.”

“Huh.” Snickered Jinyoung, jolting himself to his feet. “Here I thought I’d get to hear that conversation.” He pursed his lips, tapping at his chin with an index. “Maybe some sort of a clarification for why she had not reached out until now?”

Mark rolled his eyes with a small smile on his lips. It wavered when Jinyoung stopped in the doorframe. “But I guess fuck buddies don’t really get such clarifications, huh?”

Two and a something hours later, the boys were prepared to leave the hotel and embark for the next stop on their tour: New Delhi. The lobby of the hotel was swarming with staff, luggage, and security, preparing for the group’s very public departure. The journey to the airport was as chaotic as ever for the boys, in a joyful and brotherly atmosphere which always eased Mark’s mind and heart. He was always beyond thankful for the company and friendship of all the boys. Each held their own piece of Mark’s.

While waiting for the private transport from the gate to their plane, Mark stepped aside from the group to make the call he owed. It should have been around 4PM in Seoul. He took an anticipative breath in his lungs and tapped on Samantha’s phone number. There shouldn’t have been a singular reason why he felt so expectant.

‘You aren’t making love to me Mark. We are having sex, it is just sex.’

“Do you really think about us like that?” he whispered under his breath, a hand reaching up to cover his face better with the mask.

Mark did not receive his chance to hear the voice of the person whom he wished to hear the answer from because the call got interrupted to voicemail. “Fuck.” The breath in his lungs rushed out, leaving blooming traces of disappointment attached to his veins. All at once, the 10-hour flight became burdensome. Mark switched his phone to airplane mode to join the boys, a wee piece of his heart shattering from the expectations that failed to come alive.

In an empty common room, Samantha was flipping through her patient’s chart, examining and re-scanning what the laboratory results and the obvious common sense were reiterating. Because of an unforeseen and tragic natural complication, her patient would have to choose to lose her pregnancy to save her life.

“How do you tell someone this?” Samantha mumbled to herself, resting her face in the warmth of her palm. She flipped the chart and sighed, closing her eyes for a loose second. She had grown too soft in the big shoes of a surgeon. But it ultimately was what made her a better surgeon.

“Hey,” Leena stopped by, in a rush to reach somewhere else entirely. “Did something happen? I was in a hurry to prepare for surgery, but I couldn’t ignore you here all sappy by yourself.”

“Yeah. This patient I saw today… I have to tell her she has to give up the baby to save her life. This is why I sometimes am at peace with my decision to step back from being a surgeon.”

“And all the other times when you are not at peace?” Leena seated herself by Samantha.

“All the other times are when I miss going in the OR. Like last time I went in with Jonathan. It was the thrill crawling back, until it made my fingers tingle.” Another sigh. “Then I try to heal and come back, and I have to tell a mother to kill her child. Is this fair?”

“No, it’s not. It’s not. But you must remember how many lives you’ve saved and how many you can save, still. Young lives, who don’t even know they are about to live.”

Samantha tilted her head to look at Leena who had a softened look on her face. “Yeah.” She concluded as Leena rose from her seat.

“I gotta go now, Sam. Think about it. We miss having you around the OR. My girl power team lost all that power.” Leena gestured dramatically with her hands. “Maybe it’s a stretch but I think Mark would say the same to you, if he were here.”

“What?” Samantha exhaled. “Why are you thinking about Mark?”

Leena perked in the distance, as she was walking away “Because you won’t!”

And true she wasn’t. Samantha leaned back down in the chair, eyes obsessed with the ceiling of the office. It pained a little, both her ego and her wishes. Reason would say he couldn’t have picked up in the middle of the night, through the thousands of little things he had to attend to in the middle of a world tour, on top of probably the fatigue kicking in. Against reason, Samantha would tell herself anything to keep herself from hurting. Lies were always easier. Truth was always justifiable.

Truth was, Mark was everything she didn’t picture him to be.

Samantha gathered the scattered chart off the desk and mustered her courage to fill the big shoes of the surgeon she knew herself to be. Ever since Mark stumbled in the bar that night, to curl her hair through his fingers in a cheeky endeavor to rescue her from a vulgar stranger, with the smooth smile and the glimmer in his eye, Samantha’s life felt like it finally took a seat, on a vast green plain under the night sky. When pausing for oneself started to matter.

The rest of the day felt differently after Samantha decided to take charge. She went ahead and had the talk with the family whose happy hope vanished from their fingers. Then she offered to take lead of the surgery. The way she used to carry herself was slowly returning, with all the responsibility and the dignity. It was then she realized she did miss saving lives.

“So I guess it’s time to ask again about riding together? On the bikes, of course.” Jonathan laughed at his own joke, which brought a smile to Samantha’s own lips.

“You know what?” Samantha said, turning up the engine and securing herself atop of the seat. “I’m going to say pass for tonight, but let’s do it some time. It’s just been a full day today.”

“So I’ve heard,” Jonathan said, climbing in his seat and undoing his helmet. “You have no idea how happy that makes me.”

Samantha chuckled. “I know I don’t really take you at your word, most of the time. But I do appreciate you being in my life Jonathan.”

Jonathan threw his head away to veil his content expression. There were times like that one when Samantha wished she knew what was going on through his head. “Someone has to stick around, until prince charming rides back from his tour. Saw he got all naked and whatever up there. Not cool.”

“Mhm. Not cool for someone who asks prince charming how sex with me is.”

Jonathan almost dropped his helmet to the ground.

“Why would you ask him that?”

He raked his hair with his fingers, the previous content expression fading into a longing one. “Because it is part of why I made that bet with you when you were hopelessly drunk and so was I and I hoped we’d wake up and forget.”

It was almost puerile that they both remembered an inebriated bet to sleep with one another when they both had the desirous impulse of the body to do that on the spot. And, somehow, they did not go through with it.

“Jonathan—”

“You should have lied to me and told me you forgot. I would’ve made allowances for how your skin felt against my own. You didn’t even kiss me on the mouth you know?”

Jonathan kicked the jack of his motorcycle. “And trust me, I am actively working on giving up on you but it’s one hell of a job. So yes, that’s why I asked him how sex with you was, to get some closure. And Romeo proved to be almighty with it.” He threw one last look at the girl, and it caused Samantha’s breath to hitch in her throat. Under the alabaster streetlight, Jonathan looked so vulnerable. “Bear with me as I’m giving up on you.”

Keys rumbled against the glassy surface of the living room coffee table. The helmet bounced on the cushions of the sofa in a hasty attempt for Samantha to undress off her riding suit. Samantha plopped into the depth of the couch, skin getting goose bumps from the cold material. It was already the depth of the night when she finally managed to catch a stable breath. The roughness of the day found refuge in her nape, pressing unpleasantly in her muscles. Murphy came running towards her, jumping in an agile motion on the couch beside her. The contact of his fur against her skin eased the pressure in her body. Samantha twirled Murphy’s coat through her fingers, and the dog snuggled closer into her side. He perked up at her, always receptive of her mood.

With the other free hand, Samantha hastily searched for her mobile phone. The silence in her house echoed loudly, in sync with her accelerated thoughts. Jonathan’s confession ripped a band-aid which she did not believe she had. She felt guilty for the impulsive decisions she took a long time before, which still reflected into their present. Almost like a butterfly effect. Had she chosen Jonathan back then, would she have suffered the same heartbreak by his side? Would they have parted, or would they have thrived? Would she have avoided the public humiliation in the hospital?

Would she have met Mark?

The silvery radiance of the moon tiptoed into the living room through the crack of curtains, settling on the black screen of Samantha’s phone. It was repelled by the quick motion to turn the gadget on, an even quicker one to reach Mark’s phone number. A very late observation that he had called her back.

Would she have felt the same need to reach out to any other man, same as she did to Mark? A sliver of a breeze trembled through the thin material of the curtains, disturbing the lull of the house. In that natural equilibrium, the moonlight painted Samantha’s features in an artificial calm. Her heartbeat picked up in her chest.

Samantha drew her breath in sharply when the call connected.

“Mark? Hey, I know it must be late wherever you are, I wasn’t expecting you to pick up. How are you?”

She must have spoken fast, precipitated, in a much too evident surprise and much too little preparation for the feelings raging in her ribcage. All the stupid childish reasons of Mark being and keeping away took the reins.

“I’m sleeping, babe.”

Mark’s voice was low and coarse, at times breathy. Unbeknownst to him, Mark played with her heartstrings, with the ease with which he called her that affectionate name. He could not have meant that.

“Sure, no I’ll let you sleep, I’m sorry I disturbed you—”

“…don’t go. Missed your voice.”

Samantha took her phone away from her ear reflexively to double-check it was indeed Mark whom she was speaking to. On the other line, a faded puffing sound confirmed he was still there, as if he was adjusting his position.

“You there?”

“Yeah, I am, I just… you took me by surprise.”

“Mhm. You, too.”

A gust of wind played with the calescent air in Samantha’s living room. Through Mark’s groggy voice she couldn’t tell if he was upset, sad, or even remotely happy with her for contacting him.

“Just know I’m kinda drunk, so I might say shit.” Mark snickered, which caused Samantha to emit a giggle of her own. She had a palpable reason to blame Mark’s drunkenness for her heart’s quiver. “Drank our minds off with the boys. Middle of the evening.” Another snicker.

He was devastatingly alluring.

Samantha’s voice eased to Mark’s, a lonely index tracing the naked skin of her abdomen. The moon shifted, as if following the movements of the hand in a trance. “You’re too coherent to be drunk. Any special reason for the celebration?”

“Guess we felt like. Don’t know about them but I had a reason.”

Samantha took the bait. “Oh? How so?”

A sharp breath echoed on Mark’s side of the line, closely followed by another sharp exhale. “Promise you won’t get upset with me?”

Samantha’s eyebrows rose with curiosity, yet the heart in her ribcage threatened to stop beating. “I won’t.”

“Okay, I’ll tell you.” But Mark stopped himself once again to prolong the anticipation Samantha prepared herself for. Maybe he would tear the scar open and confess he’d slept with others, that he went ahead and made good of their agreement, that he did not care. Or maybe that he was enough of a good guy to at least let her know he’d touched other women, that he’d heard other women scream his name in the intimacy of his sheets—

“I missed you.”

The sound of thunder reverberated in the infinity of the sky and a glim of lightning flashed in the darkness of the living room to put a halt to Samantha’s life. A strong current awoke goosebumps on Samantha’s skin, akin to Mark’s tender touch whenever he pulled her body to hide into his own.

Mark continued. “But I know you don’t miss me cause heck, you would’ve called a lot more than once, so cheers to me. You’ll say, ‘why are you an asshole cause you didn’t call either’, and you could be right.” A short pause. “I actually could be the asshole.”

What was Samantha supposed to say? How was she supposed to form coherent thoughts in her mind when Mark singlehandedly went and kicked away all rationality had to offer? In the tone of his voice, Samantha felt resentment. A resentment directed at himself for wishing he’d done better.

I should have done better, Mark.

“No, Mark, don’t say that about yourself. You could be anything but an asshole.”

I missed you too, Mark. And I didn’t want to.

“No, it’s fine. Absolutely fine. I’m just sex. You’re just sex. We’re just sex, nothing more, right?”

A sudden downpour started falling over the horizon, in a ghastly chase to envelop the night sky of Seoul. The sound of droplets played in a staccato rhythm, brushing against the tall glass windows of Samantha’s house. The restless curtains danced however the wind dictated, to cast shadows of the moon over her features, now rigid from the amalgam of emotions pirouetting through her being.

If she hadn’t met Mark, would she have wished to grant herself a second chance so easily?

Samantha rose lazily from the couch, leaving Murphy behind to meditate in his calmness. She carried herself to the windows, gripping the handle to open one of them, and ultimately seated herself on the windowpane. She extended one leg to feel the rain. “Do you hear that, Mark?” she spoke ultimately, tears gathering at her eyelids.

“Is that rain?” replied Mark, accompanied by a hissing sound. “It’s pouring in New Delhi, too.”

“It feels so cold on my skin.”

Another thunder trembled in the sky.

“I’m so jealous.”

“Jealous? Jealous on what?”

“All this rain is getting to touch you and I’m not.”

Samantha brought one knee to her chest to lean her cheek against it. If it was raining in New Delhi, it meant that maybe, just maybe, her and Mark could both look at the same sky.

It took a considerable amount of effort for Mark to push himself straight outside of bed. He couldn’t remember at what time the boys got back to the hotel, at what time he fell asleep, and he couldn’t remember why he recognized Samantha’s voice without even knowing it was her who called. With each reply exchanged between them, Mark was driving back to reality, a reality where both him and Samantha were looking at the same sky.

He walked over to the window of his hotel room, peeling it open to fully pick up the song of the rain. There was a tiny table adjacent to the window where he prompted his body, head leaning against the pane, and the free arm toying with the beads rushing down from the sky.

A reality where he was catching feelings for a woman who did not feel the same.

“It feels so cold on my skin too, beautiful.”

Maybe it was because of the same sky they both were watching but it felt like Samantha was smiling. “Why would you be jealous?”

“I should be, shouldn’t I? When something other than me is touching my fuck buddy.”

There was a pause on the other line. Rain was feeling tougher against Mark’s forearm.

“No one has touched me since you left, Mark. Don’t think anyone will.”

It was too good to be true. He did not believe her, could not believe her. Mark retreated his arm and raked his fingers through his hair. The coldness of summer rain made him flinch.

Mark was playing a game he knew he’d already lost.

“Do you think about us? Do you think about me, how I’m touching you?”

“Yeah, I do. I did today.”

Mark’s mind replayed their kiss in the club’s locker room.

Samantha’s mind replayed their kiss in the club’s locker room.

“Do you like the way I’m touching you?”

Mark’s mind replayed their hug in the club’s locker room.

Samantha’s mind replayed their hug in the club’s locker room.

“I do.”

“I guess you still want me to fuck you, then.”

Samantha’s lack of response gave Mark the opportunity to glue his eyes to an outward building which still kept its presence through the water veil. The buzz of the alcohol was still messing with his head, and with his emotions. He shouldn’t had gotten so attached to a game plan, he should had cared enough back in the club when Samantha stated she was not interested. There was just something about her that kept reeling him in, which only amplified with each touch they shared, doubled with each kiss, tripled with each moan she’d mewl, calling out his name.

At the end of the day, the heart wants what it wants. And the heart shuddered at the thought of her moaning any other name than his.

“Hey Sam, I gotta go. I’m supposed to be waking up in 3 hours to rehearse the setting for the concert.”

This time, it was Sam. Not ‘babe’, not ‘beautiful’, just ‘Sam’. Bleak, obscure, a name. Samantha feared a simple name that carried no meaning. It was supposed to carry a meaning.

“Are you frustrated with me, Mark?” she breathed out, the tears rolling down her cheeks at the thought.

“What? No, I’m not. I’m not. Promise.”

“How long will you be gone, still? I hope it’s not that long because I’m naked and I am sitting on the windowpane, hoping that this rain will make me recall how your hands felt against my skin, and it’s not you and I cannot recall how your hands felt against my skin, Mark.”

Clouds wrecked into one another to release a rambunctious roar.

Mark sighed, and it almost broke Samantha’s heart. Then he laughed, and suddenly, the world came alive.

“Okay, let me guide you to remember, hmm?”

“Guide me.”

“If you lay your hand to the side of your neck, cupping it, but not too tight, and a bit far back, you’ll remember it is my favorite spot to hold when we hug.”

In thorough obedience, Samantha did just as Mark instructed her to. She closed her eyes, picturing Mark’s silhouette right by her side.

“Now, if you lower your hand to your side, not too low on the hip, and drum your fingers against the flesh, you’ll remember it is my favorite spot to tickle you.”

The action made Samantha giggle loudly, almost the same as Mark used to. “I am ticklish there, yeah.”

Mark laughed, and Samantha couldn’t see, but he laughed heartily. “Yeah, I know. Now, if you go further and caress a trail from your lower belly all the way to your clit, you’ll remember it is my favorite spot to make you pant. Right before I slide a finger inside you.”

Samantha followed Mark’s voice until her middle finger caressed over her womanhood, a loud whine erupted from the back of her throat. “Oh no, no, don’t even think about doing it. The last part is left for me to do.”

She unexpectedly stopped, Mark’s charm still working strongly. “How did you know I wanted to do that?”

“I know what your body is telling me, angel. It’s just you I need to know more about. I’ll be back in a week and a half, can you hold out for me this long? I can always talk you through it if you think you can’t.”

Samantha scoffed jokingly, draping her hand around herself instead. A week and a half felt to her like an eternity. When Mark had her wrapped around his finger like a marionette, when he knew when to go back to calling her endearingly, when he so easily confessed it was hard on him, as much as it became hard on her, the time stopped dilating as fast. Another bolt of lightning pierced the night sky, casting a porcelain light over her body.

“When you come back to me, Mark, I’ll tell you about the more you want to know.”

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write-it-good-imagines · 1 year ago

Text

Nothing More(M) - Two

~5k words - please, enjoy!

I see you as a stranger but it’s different… I have those marks of love, my soul is hurt. Can’t you stay closer when the lights turn down, so that you’ll feel you don’t have me?

“Then what? You just casually claimed you’re fine to be her fuck buddy?”

“Yes.”

“And you’ll have sex, at the expense of her telling you more about herself?”

“…yes.”

“You’re stupid.”

Jinyoung grabbed at the bridge of his nose before dropping down on the leather chair of the practice studio.

“I’m not?” Mark said with some sort of reinforced conviction, like that was his brightest accomplishment. “It’s pretty fair, if you ask me.”

“Fair?” Jinyoung repeated, leaning forward on top of his knees. “You know absolutely nothing about this girl, for which you are developing an unrequited affection.”

“I know things.”

“Like?”

Mark opened his mouth to answer but the words ceased to exist. With Jinyoung cocking his eyebrow and a half-mockery half-pitiful expression plastered on his face, Mark realized he really did not know much.

“She’s, uhm, a manager at Seoul Medical Private practice.”

Jinyoung nodded, as if prompting Mark to continue talking.

“And a part-time bartender.”

“Mhm. I suppose that’s it.”

“That’s it.”

A sigh escaped through Mark’s lips. “But isn’t this the whole point of casual sex? You don’t ask questions and you don’t seek answers.”

“Except you are doing both, one-sidedly.” Jinyoung rose from his seat to place a hand on Mark’s shoulder, not trying to mask the evident worry in his eyes. “You’re not that guy.”

Mark looked at the other, and ultimately away. The silence of his reflection in the studio mirror was interrupted by the other 5 members, crowding the room with their usual infectious cheerfulness. Before breaking away from Mark, Jinyoung patted him on the shoulder and pursed his lips into a small smile. “You’re not that guy”.

“Knock-knock,” Jonathan’s voice chirped before leaning his tall body against the doorframe of Samantha’s new office. “I like this room. It’s much more spacious and you finally have big windows. Think you can grow a plant in here?”

Samantha put her pen away after having signed a document. She smiled up at Jonathan. “What can I help you with, Doctor Williams?”

Jonathan took the liberty to look around the office, searching for something specific. It still was there, Samantha’s doctor coat, dropping from the hanger. “I have an interesting case, which I’ll probably definitely operate on.”

She knew where that was going. “And?”

Jonathan stopped by the hanger, tracing his fingers over the white ironed material. “And I want Doctor Stoss to scrub in with me.”

“I am not a neurosurgeon, last time I checked.”

“But you agree that you’re still a surgeon.”

Samantha looked back at the wooden surface of the desk, trying to busy herself with anything other than that discussion Jonathan knowingly started. “Then again, I was not a neurosurgeon”.

The man came over to the desk, prompting his hands on either side of it. He leaned closer to Samantha, forcing her to look up at him. “I have a 7-month-old pregnant woman with a tumor on her brain. I want the best OB-GYN resident in this hospital to scrub in with me and deliver the baby or keep the baby in safely.”

She looked away. Jonathan peeled a hand off from the desk to bring up to her chin, on a tender touch. “I will repeat that if you think you didn’t hear it clearly enough”.

“Jonathan, I’m not ready.” Samantha breathed shakily and had to close and squeeze her eyes in an attempt to keep that past incident away from surfacing violently. “I’m not ready.”

Jonathan let his hand slide further to caress the fragile skin of her cheek. “Let us help you. Let me help you. We all know that wasn’t on you.”

“What’s it to you?” Samantha opened her eyes to pierce into the other’s emerald ones. Jonathan jerked his head back in surprise, the contact between them breaking in response. The tip of his tongue wet the bottom lip and exhaled an exasperated sigh.

“It is that you chose that bastard over me. It also is that I loved you and I am beating myself up everyday you are not picking up the damn scalpel. I should have beat him much more than I did.”

“Jonathan—”

He pushed forward. “And now that you finally threw him out of your life, and a good part of your life for that matter, you keep away from me. I am still here.”

Samantha’s eyes were pacing back and forth between his features, his eyes, and his lips, as if trying to grasp the words he was speaking and put them together in such a manner that made sense. She looked at him with a look that was stuck somewhere between past and present, a look that let him know everything was a mistake. A look that also let him know there was no way to rewrite the past. And he wished he hadn’t seen that look.

“You don’t love me, Jonathan. I can’t have you trying to love two women at the same time. Not when one of them is just a ghost in your memory.”

He scoffed. Samantha did not let him speak. “You stopped loving me the moment I made my choice. And it’s okay. Because I don’t hold any grudge against you. Because you love Leena.”

Jonathan straightened his body and Samantha could not read his expression. “Let me go.”

“He killed that woman, Sam. He did. He was desperate to show off to the Chief.”

“Jonathan, I am not having this discussion—”

“You trusted him against your better judgement. You couldn’t have saved neither of them—”

“Jonathan, get out.”

The man lifted both his hands to signal he was giving up. “I can’t let you go, Sam. I just can’t. You’re losing yourself and you’re not picking up my hand. You used to take us by the hand.”

Samantha turned her chair away from Jonathan and fixated her eyes on a void point outside the window. Her brain triggered the moments she tried shoving away like skeletons in a closet. She wanted to desperately believe skeletons do not always come back.

“I assume we’re still meeting to go out tonight. We’re supposed to celebrate the new manager.”

The last thing she heard was the sound of the door slamming violently behind. Before a tear dropped loosely, Samantha thought about Mark.

In the fervent ruckus of practicing and perfecting their next concert, which was set to start in 6 days, the guys, drenched in sweat, with their ankles hurting after more than 5 continuous hours, decided to take a water break. Mark dropped to the ground, crossing his legs, and holding his body up with his arms. Before Jackson threw him a towel, Mark thought about Samantha. It had been a couple of days since they’d heard from one another.

“Hey, Mark,” Bambam chirped, a cheeky tone blatantly carrying his words “girlfriend’s calling.”

Mark’s head perked up almost instantly.

“She’s not his girlfriend.” Jinyoung breathed, pouring what was left of the water in the bottle on his head.

“I don’t think she’s not his girlfriend” Jackson joined in, throwing the shirt over his head.

“Could you stop making assumptions?” Mark jolted from his place, eager to try and put an early end to the teasing he was just about to receive. “I swear to God, if I am picking up this phone and you’ll be hovering over my shoulders, I’ll kick you in the nuts.”

Youngjae placed his hands protectively over the threatened jewels. “Don’t hit hard?”

At that point, he gave up.

“Hey stranger.”

“Hey,” she answered on the other end of the line, with a slight delay. “I’m sorry I didn’t text you earlier.”

“Yeah, no, that’s fine. It’s quite actually none of my business.” Mark saw in the mirror the displeased expressions of Jackson and Jaebom, while Yugyeom and Bambam covered their mouths dramatically. ‘That’s bad’, Jackson mouthed to Jinyoung.

Against his expectations, Mark was met with silence on the other line. Suddenly, he felt awkward for the first time since meeting her. Mark never meant to sound accusative. If anything, he might have waited for her to text. “I mean, part of the deal, right?”

“…yeah.”

“Listen, I didn’t mean that. It’s just been a very long day.” A small pause, in tune with all the other members who seemed to have drawn in their breaths for what Mark would have said next. “I can use some good company. If you want to meet up?”

“Yeah, sure, sounds good to me.”

Mark was not convinced it sounded good to her. He cleared his throat. “So, uh, do you want to meet tonight?"

Another pause. “I cannot really meet tonight, I have surgery.” She heard his sharp gasp. “Not surgery on me, surgery on someone else. I’m, uh, a resident.”

“A resident? A surgical resident?” There was a collective gasp from all of the boys, accompanied by shocked faces staring at Mark in the mirror.

“You didn’t take me as the smart type, huh? I guess smart people don’t have fuck buddies after all.”

“No, that’s—”

“Listen, I have to go. For the record, I didn’t call to get you to bend me over the table. I… I wanted to see how you were doing. Bye.”

Mark did not have any chance to protest before the dial tone echoed in his ear. The phone slid away from his ear, intrigued initially, then a furrow between his eyebrows made him wonder what he did wrong for her to dismiss him like that.

“A surgical resident,” Jaebum repeated, gesturing with his hands like an orchestra conductor to calm down the overly excited group. “That’s cool.”

“Cool? That’s fucking insane. Do you think I could find an arrangement like yours?” Bambam blurted out and earned a smack on the head from the leader. Jinyoung followed Mark with his eyes. He sensed the uncertainty and the sliver of self-doubt oozing from the other. Just when he was about to say something, Jackson went over to start the music set, to rescue Mark from the dozens of questions he was about to receive, to which he held no answers. Jinyoung thanked him with a head dip.

Jonathan was cleaning his hands when the OR doors slid open. He couldn’t hide the evident shock on his face, not that it mattered. For all he knew, he wanted her to see the shock imprinted on his face.

“Don’t tell me.”

The shock deepened when he noticed she was dressed in surgical scrubs. Then a sly smirk on his face. “You look so hot dressed like this.”

Samantha kicked the water tank with her foot, choosing not to add any comment.

“I missed you.”

She gasped at the other’s confession. Her head tilted for her to look over her shoulder in the depth of his eyes. Coming to the OR was impulsive, an impulsive decision after Mark reiterated their arrangement. Samantha knew it sounded frivolous. Only then did she truly register the words Jonathan said to her. The memories, the hope, the dream. With all the disappointments they carried. Before she knew, she found herself in the OR.

“If you keep staring at me like that, I might push you against the wall and you’d lose the bet.”

“Doesn’t that make you the loser?” she retorted, a smirk stretching the corners of her lips. “I’m just observing, that’s it. There is already a GYN resident in there.”

Jonathan shook his hands lightly to dispose of the surplus of dripping water. He turned to her as he kicked the OR door open, and if Samantha did not know any better, she would say he was relieved of her presence. “Not if you kissed me first.”

Pacing was not Mark’s way of coping with things in general. For what sentiment he paced that evening, in the lobby hall of the hospital, he could not tell. No one likes hospitals in particular, but it wasn’t the hospital’s fervid smell of chlorine that provoked Mark’s pacing. It was Samantha’s sharp dismissal that stained his thoughts. And he didn’t care, or that’s what he kept trying to convince himself of. Jinyoung’s words popped in his mind yet again.

You’re not that guy.

When he braced himself to stop pacing, he approached the nurse’s station. “Hi, good evening. I am looking for Samantha…”

The awkward pause sneaked in. A woman whose last name he had no idea about, who was supposed to be his casual sex call.

“She’s a manager here at this hospital.”

“Oh, Doctor Stoss you meant. Yes, the surgery in OR 4 has just ended, she should be here any minute with Doctor Williams.”

Mark did not get enough time to thank the nurse when he got distracted by an electrifying sound he himself had caused before. His attention turned magnetically toward the source of the joyful laughter, only to be met by Doctor Jonathan Williams, with his hands in his jeans pockets. He was making Samantha laugh.

“Mark?” she turned to him in a blink, same way Jonathan turned to her.

“So you’re the Mark,” Jonathan said, faking one of his best smiles. Samantha was too taken aback to realize Jonathan was, in fact, a tad bothered by the other’s presence.

Mark quirked an eyebrow involuntarily at the other man. He was exactly as Samantha described him, tall, handsome, cocky. Trustful. And he knew about them two, which could have changed the situation. Complicate it.

“I wasn’t expecting to see you here is all, Mark. I told you I had surgery.”

“Yeah, no, I heard, I wanted to make sure you were fine.” If it weren’t for his fingers numbing from his tightened grip around the Lindt chocolate box, he would have forgotten about them entirely. Mark extended his arm towards Samantha in a successful but unforeseen attempt to leave her speechless. It was Jonathan’s turn to cock an eyebrow.

“You shouldn’t have…” Samantha looked up at Jonathan. She was growing annoyed with his displeased antics. Not that Mark would know. “I am busy tonight, we’ll gather with Leena to celebrate, you know. Me.”

“Totally.” Mark nodded with a serene expression. “I will go. If we don’t see each other again before I go, it was nice enough seeing you like this, Doctor.”

There was something about his serene smile that tied a knot in Samantha’s stomach. In her imagination, Mark was not supposed to be that. He was not supposed to come looking for her, to bring her chocolate and call her endearingly on her title. He was not supposed to sketch a hue of pink across her face. Mark was supposed to sleep with her and forget about her.

“Go where? I wouldn’t say you are leaving,” Leena chimed in, allowing her curly hair to bounce freely against her short-sleeved shirt, “though we won’t force you to join us for drinks.”

“Ah, as much as I’d love to,” Mark replied, his eyes searching for Samantha once again, “I wasn’t invited. I’m not barging.”

“We’re inviting you now.” Jonathan cleared his throat and painted a puzzled expression on Samantha’s face. “You said so yourself, you would love to, would you not?”

Mark hesitated. He suddenly pondered over the fact that a fuck buddy would not meet the other’s friends.

“It’s okay, you don’t have to feel pressured by these two anyway.”

“No, I… I think I’d love to.”

Saturday night in a popular high-profile club in Seoul city could rival all levels of imagination. Stories that would go unknown for all eternity, on people who’d enter the club to enjoy, to fool around, to forget, on a busy dancefloor, with extravagant lights and liquor. Samantha’s cousin had one of the most sought-after clubs of the capital and on good merit. It hit Samantha that she never did face the other side of the bar counter. It had always been easier to be the one serving the poison than the one to drink it.

The reservation for Samantha’s group was made on a booth better shielded from the crowded center of the club. She waved a hand at the security guys outside and guided the four of them to their spot.

“Wow, I can’t believe I never came to this club,” said Jonathan with a newly discovered admiration for the place.

“Maybe your relationships would have been more successful.” Leena stuck his tongue out at him and the other rolled his eyes at her remark. Albeit hiding a smile behind the façade.

Mark guided Samantha to take her seat first and the latter offered a smile. She refused instead.

“I’ll go get the drinks because I am that cool and that fast. What would you like to have?”

Not long after Samantha disappeared in the nightly crowd, Mark took a seat somewhat cornered by the curious eyes of Samantha’s friends. One would say that, with all the public attention and the fame, he would get used to the squinting.

“So, you and Sam,” Jonathan begun, rolling the sleeves of his shirt as if preparing himself for some sort of a confrontation with the other man. “How’s it going?”

“Fine? I think.” He replied much less inconsistently than he would have hoped. Truth be told, he did not really know how to reply to such a question. The answer would have been straightforward for someone who sleeps with another person for fun but one does not consider verbalizing how such a relationship would ‘be’. When it is not even a relationship. “She’s amazing.”

“I bet she is.”

“Jonathan!” Leena smacked his shoulder. “Please forgive him, we have been friends since college, and he gets over-protective over her sometimes…”

Mark pondered over the girl’s words. If he would not want to be involved with Samantha, he wouldn’t mind about their arrangement. “It’s totally fine. I am a stranger who sleeps with your friend. Nothing more.”

The conversation was cut short by Samantha returning with the tray of drinks. After serving everyone, more out of habit than anything else, she seated herself beside Mark. “So, what did you two press Mark about?”

Jonathan raised both his eyebrows and his glass in a swift motion, to grab a solid gulp of his whiskey on the rocks. “Nothing in particular.”

“So, a surgeon, huh?” Mark took a hold of his dark beer to mimic Jonathan’s earlier gesture. “Can you do both? Management and save lives?”

Samantha looked down at her glass to swirl the straw around. Mark was not ill intended, and she also was not prepared to reveal too much about herself. She never planned to do so anyhow.

I want you to tell me about you in exchange.

“I took a step back from surgery for a while. It became a bit overwhelming. But I did not want to leave the hospital and the community, so I applied for a more ‘business’ like job. Now I am manager.”

“Today was just her first step coming back to surgery full time.” Jonathan smiled and shot a wink to Samantha’s direction.

Leena immediately became confused. “Surgery? You went into surgery today?”

Samantha looked over at Jonathan with a piercing look. Mark figured she had not revealed that to the other woman. “Jonathan told me he had a 7-month-old pregnant woman with a brain tumor. He came to me to ask me to scrub in. I just watched the fetal monitor, that’s all. Luckily, there was no need to step in.”

“Interesting,” concluded Leena to take a sip of her Margarita. “Samantha, can we have a word?”

Samantha looked over at Mark with an apologetic look. Guilt started building up that she purposely dragged him into her personal life. Mark raised his bottle once again, with his lips pursed into a silent surrender. It was flattering, in a way, that she honored her half of their agreement. With each word sent out into the world by the three of them, Mark’s curiosity blossomed. Perhaps more eager and too easily.

“So, how’s the sex?”

Mark choked on the beer. “I’m sorry?”

“Nah, I am just curious how a stranger in a bar got in her bed.”

Ah, thought Mark. Jonathan did not know.

“I am not entitled to tell you that.”

“Heroic.”

“You actually went into surgery? And you did not think to tell me, as well?”

Samantha looked at Leena. She couldn’t remember the last time she’d seen that mixture of hurt and betrayal on the other’s face. “It was impulsive. Johnny came to my office to tell me about his case, and then we sort of fought—”

“Why did you fight about?”

The moment Samantha put her hands on her hips, Leena knew. “Fought about you.”

“It’s not what you think—”

“He still hasn’t let go of you. Did you tell him that Mark is your fuck buddy?”

Silence. “I see. It’s not like you’re trying too hard to push him either.”

“Leena I don’t want him, I don’t love him. And he loves you. It’s quite visible with the naked eye.”

“It’s not when the moment you fuck another guy, he becomes all protective over a woman who is not even his to begin with!”

Leena stopped in her tracks, almost in disbelief that she let something out which she did not consider she would. Samantha grabbed her by the wrist to tug her through the crowd.

“What are you doing?” screamed Leena over the booming music.

“I am tired of being the middleman between you two fools. He is crushing so hard over you and as cocky and almighty you say he is, he is a coward. So, you’ll speak to him while I have sex in the back room. 30 minutes enough?”

By the time the girls returned to their booth, Leena had not been given the choice to ingest the newly divulged pieces of information. The two arrived in the evasive silence of the two men who could have prayed for a disaster to occur so that they’d escape the involuntary cage they’d been placed under.

“Leena has something to talk to you about Jonathan. So, while you two resolve your lover’s quarrel, I am going to steal Mark from this table.”

Mark extended his body upwards faster than he would have liked to and put his hands together in a silent apology. He threw one last look over his shoulder at the two surgeons and then had to concentrate on his feet to follow an apparently flustered Samantha. The woman guided the two into a room to the far back of the club.

A small room, still neatly decorated with a tall mirror, half a dozen lockers, and all the necessities an employee starting their shift would need. Samantha slammed the door behind them and locked it in an agile movement of the wrist. She prompted her body against the door to relieve a sigh.

“You know, against all odds, I like your friends.” Mark chuckled and took a couple of steps to seat himself on the closest chair. “A bit intense but they seem like genuine people.”

“You don’t say.”

The day had been full and heavy of unsettled emotions for Samantha. Rarely do plans turn out to be exactly how you imagine them. Samantha’s plan was to enjoy a managerial Saturday, having drinks and getting drunk in her favorite club, not reminiscent of the cold past but optimistic of the unexplored future. She could not find a plausible explanation of why she joined the surgery in the evening, of why she allowed Mark to enter a significant piece of her life in meeting her friends.

Only, she did know the explanation for all of the events. She joined in surgery because Jonathan was right. She allowed Mark to enter her life because he exceeded all her expectations of him, because, in a split of a moment, she acknowledged she wanted him to get to know her. To know the great OB-GYN resident that she was.

And this shattered the reality from under her feet.

He was supposed to be a tight hug that turned into sex. Nothing more.

“Hey, are you alright?”

Samantha did not realize when Mark stood up to enter her proximity. His hand found her cheek in a motion that was so natural he surprised himself of it.

She was supposed to be a tight hug that turned into sex. Nothing more.

“Yeah. I am tired of all these unrequited feelings and of all these unspoken memories and I just hope Jonathan lets me go already so he can be with Leena.”

Samantha smiled tiredly and leaned into Mark’s touch. He had a hunch that her confession held much more power than being about just her two friends. And he wanted to ask, the more he wanted to ask the more his heart picked up a beat in his chest.

“Huh, I think the only people who did not know they love each other are Jonathan and Leena.” He declared instead, locking his eyes with hers. Unbeknownst to him, his other hand gained a free will to intertwine with Samantha’s fingers. Mark wanted to stop. He wanted to stop his body from gravitating towards hers.

“Thanks for the chat,” Samantha laughed and ignored the burning in her chest and the buzzing in her head altogether. If she were drunk, she would have blamed it all on the alcohol, and she would have justified herself for the reason it was so scorching to look into Mark’s orbits.

Mark brought his head to rest against her shoulder and the sudden contact set her skin on fire. The devil on her shoulder wanted Mark to rip her shirt so he could touch her better.

“So, I promised Leena I’d get her 30 minutes to freely talk to Jonathan,” Samantha dismissed the dangerous thought to make space for dirty ones. Dirty ones that wouldn’t leave her longing in the morning. “Do you think we could give them that?”

“I…” Mark murmured and pushed himself away, his hand still protecting her cheek. “I want to kiss you, so, so bad.”

“What are you waiting for?”

I want to. And I can’t.

If I kiss you now, I am afraid I’ll fall in love with you.

Samantha untangled their fingers to reach up to his face. Tips of her fingers set ablaze.

Mark sighed and glued their foreheads together. Their noses were brushing against one another, and Samantha could feel each inspiration Mark took into his chest. “I cannot make love to you and leave the next day like I am the worst scum to have ever walked this Earth. I am not that guy.”

Samantha was not sure she understood the breathy words gliding out of Mark’s mouth. She was dazzled by the wording he chose.

“You aren’t making love to me Mark. We are having sex, it is just sex.”

A modest scoff carried Mark’s silhouette to wrap his arms around her frame. He felt Samantha’s body rigid in his embrace. Mark couldn’t let her see the disappointment nesting in his eyes. He couldn’t allow himself to believe in the disappointment nesting in his eyes. He went ahead and assumed a miscalculation. He had to set himself straight.

I guess it is just sex.

“Jonathan asked me how’s sex with you.”

Samantha’s chest deflated helplessly. The sudden hug and the hasty words made her afraid and nervous Mark would want to go on with his life, that he would put a stop to them. She did not want him to put a stop to them. “So? What’d you tell him?”

“Nothing.”

She furrowed her brows.

“But I am going to tell you how sex with you is.”

Mark pulled away from the hug to face her, resting his left hand against the door, the other prepared to do a demonstration on her body. Samantha could not tell how he was feeling, what he was thinking. He looked stoic.

“If I kiss you right here, behind the lobe of your ear,” Mark traced his index along her skin and Samantha felt like he could ignite it “you’ll gasp. Grab my hair and pull me into you.”

Mark’s words were even, collected. His eyes were glued to each piece of her body he was busy with. Reading her like an open book. “If I cup your breasts,” Mark ran the back of his finger over her clothed breast, a moan eluding from her lips “you’ll moan. Like you did just now.”

His hand travelled to her hip, tips of his fingers digging into the fabric of her trousers. She was unlucky it had such a thin texture. “If I grab you by your hips, this is the part where I usually slide myself inside you and you nip your fingers into my back. “

Mark brought his free hand to cusp her cheek and prompt her to look at him. By all means, Samantha was expecting to recognize anything comparable to lust, carnality. What she found instead was a stubborn tenderness that was a stranger to simply having sex.

I want to make love to you.

“Mark?” she whispered when he didn’t move.

“Will you be mad at me if we don’t have sex tonight, princess?” he stated, loosening his clasp on her hip, but caressing her cheek with his other thumb. “I am tired and I left Milo alone too much.”

Against her will, Samantha let out a whimper. Mark took her entire essence and played with it in his hands, reassembling it at his will in mere minutes. In such a short period, Mark took his time to memorize her characteristics, her reactions, and her feelings. Mark took his time to make an effort on how to please her. He never did what Mark did.

I don’t want you to go, Mark.

“Sure, absolutely. I understand.” She nodded, placing her hand above his. “When are you, uhm… when are you flying out?”

“Day after tomorrow.”

“When will you be back?”

Why would I want to know?

Mark chuckled and admired her for a moment. He was aware he was leaving her hot and bothered. He did not assume for a moment that she was inquiring for any other reason.

God are you beautiful.

“It’s going to be three long weeks, give or take. You’re going to have to find a replacement for me.”

I hope you don’t find a replacement for me.

Samantha giggled. “I wouldn’t worry too much about it.”

The phone in Mark’s pocket buzzed up with messages. He wanted to pull away, but Samantha kept his hand in place. “Kiss me goodbye at least?”

The night highway was chasing pointlessly after the black van, transporting Mark and his group to the airport. Mark’s eyes were aimed at the blurry lights, the hues of orange and red cutting through the depth of the sky. He pulled over the hood of his sweatshirt and checked his phone. Still devoid of any messages.

Jinyoung was chatting with the others when he noticed abruptly Mark did not join the lively discussion. He stealthily excused himself from the group, with a little help from Jackson to keep the others at bay from questioning too much.

“Hey,” Jinyoung plopped himself into the seat next to Mark. The latter snapped from the whirlwind of his thoughts.

“Hey, what’s up?”

“I think you should tell me what’s up, Mark.”

Mark laughed and turned his body towards the other. “That obvious?”

“A bit.” Jinyoung agreed. “Have you heard from her yet?”

The other shrugged his shoulders. “Nope. We didn’t, you know, do anything. We just went out with her friends. Intense guys, lucky me I have a bit of training from y’all.”

“But?” Jinyoung questioned, still leaving Mark to his own pace. “She must’ve been a bit disappointed you never did anything.”

Mark tilted his head to look out the window. He wished his thoughts would blurry like the reality on the highway. “Yeah, she must’ve been.”

“And you? Were you expecting anything to happen? Did you kiss her, I don’t know, goodbye?”

Mark was a bit shocked by her request. Still, against his better judgement, he drew in closer, to seal the distance between their lips. “You are irresistible, you know that?”

Jinyoung just knew something was bothering Mark. Maybe regret, or maybe repentance.

“No, I didn’t kiss her.” Previous chapter Next chapter

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