#i like to think that adult ash has some fun with his connections

[8-bitpixelheart]

Halloween Smash or Pass: DBD Survivors

Dwight Fairfield: Sad little puppy man, pathetic. Pass, I would ruin him.

Meg Thomas: Took care of her sick mom, super athletic, for some reason people diss on her a lot. Smash

Claudette Morel: OUR AUTISTIC QUEEN. SHE HEALS. SHE HIDES. SHE'S CUTE. SHE'S GOOD AT BOTANY. TOTAL SMASH.

Jake Park: Survival Expert, liked camping, literally ran off into the woods despite being the son of a wealthy ceo to live off grid. Pass, I like wifi.

Nea Karlsson, a street artist who is extremely quiet and sneaky. Also gets made fun of a lot? Idk she's kinda cute though a lot of her skins are like, hey, why. Smash

Laurie Strode: Character modelers did her dirty. Pass, isn't she like, 17.

Ace Visconti. I know he's not a bad guy but like. He's so greasy. Pass

Bill Overbeck: He survived zombies and then he survives DBD's bullshit? He can get himself off the ground, he can protect his allies, He can do it All. Smash

Feng Min: Greasy selfish gamer girl, but she's under a lot of self pressure. I relate, Pass though.

David King: Strong Dude that loved getting into fights. I'm pretty sure he's kind to the other survivors though. I think I could actually fix him, Smash.

Quentin Smith: Another like, 17 year old? 18? A youth whose modeler just fucked him over. His old model had him nicknamed "Golem." Pass.

David Tapp: A cop, so inherently unfuckable. A shame though, because he is fine. And brave. and sturdy. So, so sturdy. sigh Pass.

Kate Denson: Great at evading the killer, a beam of positivity and strength. Incredibly hot, Smash, Smash 10/10

Adam Francis: A teacher, brave, smart, tenacious. Multilingual. Smash

Jeff Johansen: A chill dude who does graphic design. And has ASS FOR DAYS. THE BOY THICC. HE'S AN OATMEAL PACKET OF A MAN. Smash

Speaking of the thiccness, Jane Romero. She was a celebrity, I think a news anchor or something. She wanted others to find the same success she did, but her mom was an asshole. Smash

Ash Williams from Ash vs Evil Dead, I've never seen the movies, but his hand is questionable. Pass

Nancy Wheeler: This is a child, good bye

Steve Harrington: I'm like 95% sure this is also a child. I don't watch stranger things

Yui Kimura: SHE'S A HOT LEADER OF A GANG OF WOMEN WHO SUPPORT ONE ANOTHER AND SHE RIDES A MOTORCYLE WHAT DO YOU WANT FROM ME, SMASH

Zarina Kassir: An investigative documentarian who tries to expose stories of corruption and abuse. Strong Smash

Cheryl Mason: This is a CHILD stop giving me CHILDREN.

Felix Richter: He's, an architect, who, was looking for his dead parents? idk. Pass, he's boring

Elodie Rakoto: Apparently Felix' friend? Her parents saved her from the entity? She's very pretty, Smash

Yun-Jin Lee: A music producer who did an opsie daisies and hyped up a serial killer by accident.

Jill Valentine: DO YOU THINK I'M STUPID? DO YOU THINK ME BLIND WITHOUT HANDS? DO YOU THINK ME NOT A PARCHED WANDERING SOUL SEEKING WATER? OF COURSE SMASH.

Leon Scott Kennedy may be baby girl, but he is not my baby girl. Pass. I know someone else will treat him well

Mikaela Reid: Too cool for me, and capable of literal actual magic. Cute, but pass.

Jonah Vasquez is a mathematician from Fresno and listen. I'd destroy him. Smash

Yoichi Asakawa: Oh so this is the child you make into an adult. No. Forever child. Unfortunate connection to Sadako either way. Pass, but I would help him out.

Haddie Kaur: She's got actual whole ass psychic powers but she's very, very pretty. Love the supernatural white hair streaks going on. Smash

Ada Wong: She's got weird spy shit going on and would never have attention for me. Which I need, or I'll DIE. She's Leon's situationship. Pass

Rebecca Chambers: Okay I know she's a whole ass adult but she looks like the Eternal Baby. Rebecca Chambers is going to be small forever, and that's her curse to bare. Frightens me. Pass

Vittorio Toscano is a literal renaissance man who has serious knowledge of the occult and I wouldn't listen to a thing he said because I'm going to devour him like the never ending pasta at the olive garden. Smash

Thalita Lyra: she's got a good sense of wonder, whimsy, and community, and actively just wants to build community. She's got baby face though. Not as bad as the ETERNAL BABY, but, Pass

Renato Lyra: INCREASE BABY FACE TO MAXIMUM, CAPTAIN. Pass

Gabriel Soma: Is a clone baby made in a pink mush factory. Don't know how to break it to him. Pass

Nicolas Cage: Do I want to fuck Nicolas Cage? No. Do I have any interest physically or emotionally in Nicolas Cage? No. would I do it for the clout? Yes. I'm not dumb. Smash.

Ellen Ripley: Her modeler did her dirty but she's fucking Ellen Ripley I'm not stupid. She'd break me but it'd be worth it. Smash

Alan Wake: Isn't he married. I'm pretty sure he's married. But also, he's very much not fuckable. Too sad and damp. Very damp mop of a man. Tons of trouble. Stay far away from me, pass.

Sable Ward: I'm pretty sure she's gay for Mikaela. I can't break their relationship up. Pass

Aestri Yazar & Baermar Uraz - The Troop: I don't wanna fuck the elves. I know, I know. But like. I don't wanna fuck the elves.

Lara Croft: Too good for me. Also I'm pretty sure she has a girlfriend? Isn't there some girl in the new games? I'm not a homewrecker, pass.

Trevor Belmont:

[semi-imaginary-place]

P5 feels a lot like kh3 where it feels like the devs purposefully released the game without it's final arc so that they could charge 30-60$ in an updated version that has that final arc.

Base p5 just kinda feels like the story isn't over. Royal wasn't the only way to do it, and in same ways Strikers fills that gap. But you can see it in the arcana too, in base p5 Joker never reaches the end of his journey the World arcana, he stops at Judgement. Joker doesn't feel like he's teached his conclusion which could have been a good setup for a full sequel actually. It's also comes with some of the other writing problems of p5 like how the phantom thieves never grapple with or really face the consequences of play judge jury and executioner unilaterally brain ashing people based on what they think in best, royal doesn't satisfyingly address this either once again defaulting to it's ok because pt are the "good guys" , but at least royal does something.

I hate it yaldy really feels so dropped in there. The whole last arc doesn't really feel like a goodbye the way this sort of ending should be it's like oh welp the game is over. Which is a shame because the concept of fighting the god of control/authoritarianism is pretty good for what p5 is trying to go for thematically . Except that p5 bungles it's themes, trips over them, over simplifies it to adults suck kids rule, skips over the moral quandary of forcing people to act a certain way because the player characters are "the good guys" who can do no wrong. For a game claiming to be about social rebellion there there is startlingly no social rebellion. The characters don't really break any social constructs from work culture to academic culture, to the education system, gender roles, heteronormativity, Japan's xenophobia and asssimulation culture. Hell the game doesn't touch on minorities at all. But I'm off topic back to end game. They really could have done more with yaldy which is yeah what royal does and Maruki feels like such a more satisfying antagonist because of the build up, personal connection, and personal stakes. In terms of arcana Judgement is gaining knowledge of one's self granting the power of judgement. But World is full circle it is a full understanding of ones place in the universe and the self actualization that comes with it. This is why p3's protag is the Universe/World arcana. And p5 base game doesn't really get there while royal gives it that little bit of closure.

P5's not a bad game, it's fun to play. P5 weakness is it's writing and I just happen to be someone who prioritizes writing and thematic cohesion. So p5's problems are the exact problems that especially bother me. The first and last palace of p5r are good and everything else feels like filler. Fun to play though, getting to run around Tokyo is great I don't dislike any of the social links. Although I find some of the stories to be contrived like how each one needs a change of heart, they all follow the same plot of someone ruining someone else's life so joker fixes it for them, feels kinda same-y. I like the party members. Combat is great, they brought back demon negotiations.

Original comment and replies: https://www.reddit.com/r/PERSoNA/comments/1ckatgy/comment/l2m9ln5/

[casspurrjoybell-28]

Alpha's Temptation - Chapter 35 - Part 1

*Warning Adult Content*

Instead of Wren being the one avoiding me, I'm now the one avoiding him.

Lylah can't even hang out with me at school anymore because she feels bad leaving Wren alone.

I'm with Jay most of the time, which earns me dirty looks from Wren on the occasion that I do see him.

It's a whole mess, really.

I've tried to stop being guilty about it.

There's nothing I can do. I don't want to talk to Wren.

I don't want a confrontation.

I don't want anything to do with it.

Usually, I wouldn't be so worried about all this if Daemon was around but he's been gone for two days already.

We call and message every day but of course, nothing can replace actually being in his presence.

He sometimes gets me to send pictures of myself and compliments my outfits, even though I'm hiding my face in every photo and take an hour to get one I'm okay with sending.

I've been hoping I'll get one back but all I ended up getting was one disgruntled, looking selfie where he looks like he just woke up.

But it made me smile anyway.

While on a call with him later in the day, something pops into my head.

"Oh, I never got the chance to ask you... um what happened with that guy who died? Zeke?"

"Hmm?" Daemon sighs. "Like I said. We thought he was going to make it. He had traces of heroin in his bloodstream, the amount was concerning but the doctors said it'd be okay. Then a day later when they checked again, he seemed to have more in him and it was impure, laced with metals. You know how deadly some metals are to wolves."

"Hmm," I acknowledge.

We learned about that stuff in school.

"Tristan thinks it has something to do with my brother because he used to be an addict..."

"He was?"

I mean, I did have my suspicions.

"Yeah. I even saved him from an overdose once, that ungrateful little shit."

"Really?" I exclaim. "That must have been so... so scary."

"It was. And he's sober now but if he's still got access to the shit... uh... he might be connected to all of this."

"You've got to tell Lucien..."

"Trust me. We have. And he investigated too but there's no evidence correlating with my brother. So he just has to take Theo's word."

"But you don't buy it?" I ask.

"I don't know what I buy," Daemon sounds conflicted. "We have a big pack. There are plenty of others out there that could be the culprit. Tristan just hates Theo. I don't blame him for being suspect, though. That's why we're looking into it."

"I see..."

"Drugs can spread like wildfire through a pack. It's dangerous. Leaves us vulnerable to attack. The thing is, Lucien already has so much on his hands and I'm helping too but it doesn't change the fact that he has no Luna to support him."

I feel for Lucien. I really do.

He's responsible for so much, the weight of it all on his shoulders, yet he keeps himself together.

Even without his mate. I just want to give him a big hug.

Today is the day Daemon comes back, so I'm pretty excited to say the least.

We're also starting a play in theater which has been super fun so far.

I'm just going to be doing work backstage because I have severe stage fright but it's still fun to see the people rehearsing their scenes as I design the props.

I'm finishing my homework up on the couch as I think about school stuff when I hear the door open.

I look to see if it's Lucien but to my surprise it's Theo.

His eyes dart around strangely, immediately spotting me.

"Ash," he says.

"Hello?"

I give him a look of confusion.

I don't really understand what business we'd ever have together.

Theo looks about the room, turning his head left and right.

"Daemon isn't here, is he?"

I'm getting really off vibes from him.

"No..?" I reply, my voice going up in question.

"Good."

I don't have time to ask what he means before he's coming toward me, moving quickly.

"H-hey."

I jump up from the sofa, backing up as he reaches for me.

"What are you doing?"

Fear starts rising in me, adrenaline rushing through my veins.

What is he trying to do?

Theo doesn't reply, just advances on me.

So I skitter around the sofa, nearly tripping over a small table at the end of it.

"Stop," I demand but he's nearly right behind me so I attempt a dash to the front door, barely making it two feet before he grabs me by the arm, forcefully yanking me back.

I yelp in pain as he slams me against the wall, holding me in place with his sheer strength.

"Let go," I yell. "Let go of me."

It's impossible for me to move, smashed against the white plaster on my stomach.

Theo ignores my request.

"I've been waiting for a chance to make sure my eyes weren't playing tricks on me," he says, breathing heavily in anticipation.

His hand grips the bottom of my shirt and I realize what he's trying to do.

He wants to take it off.

"No," I scream. "STOP. STOP."

He rips off my shirt, tearing the fabric in the process so it falls to the ground in a useless muddle.

He starts to laugh maniacally.

"I was right. A fucking Dark Moon pack mark."

No sooner than a few seconds later is the front door slammed open, a furious-looking Daemon charging into the house.

"What the fuck is going on here?" he growls when his eyes find Theo pinning me to the wall.

I feel Theo's hand on my back, pointing to my mark.

"This."

My face is smashed up against the wall but I'm able to spare a look at Daemon.

For a brief moment, he looks shocked as he takes in the sight of my bare skin.

Dread floods me because I know that means he's seen them.

Not the mark but the deep, gruesome scars that litter my upper back, my stepfather's favorite place to mutilate me.

"Right under our noses," Theo sneers but at the moment I don't care that I've been discovered.

I care because Daemon saw.

That's all I can think.

Daemon has seen all of me, how disgusting I am.

My stomach drops in terror.

There's no way for me to reverse this.

I burst out crying, thrashing helplessly under Theo's strong hold to try and get him off.

At that, Daemon's face darkens, snapping back to full-blown anger.

Before I can register anything, he's lunging at Theo, violently pulling him off me.

He slams him back into the opposite wall, so hard that it cracks and caves in.

"Don't touch him..." he roars, eyes glowing bright with rage.

He punches Theo hard in the face.

Blood immediately blooms on the blond's cheek and he winces but reopens his eyes to glare at his brother.

"By your reaction, I'm guessing you knew," Theo snarls.

Daemon's nostrils flare.

"Shut your fucking mouth."

"You knew, you traitor. I should've known a dirty rogue like you was in on this."

Theo pushes him back, raising his fists.

Daemon blocks his first few hits, getting a few in himself but misses blocking Theo's last one, also getting a blow to the face.

That fuels his anger and he grunts, punching his brother in the gut.

I watch in horror as they fight, sinking to the floor  by the stairwell.

I'm scared. I'm scared of how they're hurting each other, knocking things over.

"Stop," I scream. "Stop it."

But my plea falls on deaf ears.

"Did he seduce you? Is that why you're trying to protect him?"

Theo takes another punch to the stomach before kneeing Daemon hard in the leg.

"You try anything and I will..."

"Why? You really care that much about a runt?" Theo spits, shoving Daemon back.

The bigger Alpha growls in rage, grabbing Theo by the neck and slamming him against the dining table, shattering the wood.

"You're dead."

"What's it to you?" Theo continues, despite sputtering for air after getting the wind knocked out of him. "That's what he is. A runt. Good for getting fucked and not much else..."

I swear I hear the bone crack before I see it.

[headcanonrepository]

Thoughts on Final Fantasy XII

I've been replaying Final Fantasy XII lately. I say replaying - I never actually finished it the first time around, yet have proudly denounced it as my least favourite entry in the series for years. But I decided that to be fair to that, I should actually finish the game, so I picked up Zodiac Age for cheap with the idea that I can show my wife exactly why I rate it so little. Definitely a 'get drunk and bitch about it' kind of idea. (So uh, sorry if this is your favourite game, but this is a pretty negative post, just FYI)

My original criticisms still hold up, for the most part. Vaan makes no sense as the main character - aside from stealing the first stone at the beginning of the game, his impact on the actual plot is nonexistent. The plot is something that happens around him, not something he drives and impacts. In fact, apart from Ashe and Balthier, it's really difficult to justify anyone's connection to the plot.

Compounding this is that no one ever really talks to each other or comments on the situations they are in. There are a few cutscenes, brief and far between, but for the most part, there's an immediate 'what next?' after every section that just serves to point the player in the right direction. We learn next to nothing about who the characters are as people - what do they think? What are they passionate about? What do they hate? We just don't know.

While I'm ragging on the plot: it's a dense opening with many kingdoms named, important leaders, and characters, all before you take control of a single one of them. It's a struggle to remember so many plot points introduced so rapidly, let alone care about them. The density of information continues throughout, where you are expected to remember who is part of which kingdom, who is an ally and who is foe and how different people's agendas are playing out from one scene to the next. It feels a lot like the prequel trilogy of Star Wars - lots of information introduced relatively quickly and without spending a lot of time memorising it, working out how and why things are happening is borderline impossible. I had a similar critique of the prequel SW movies: good plot and ideas, terrible execution. Unfortunately, FFXII doesn't have a whole miniseries to help the player comprehend the politics of Ivalice.

I really disliked the Gambit system the first time I played. It felt very much like getting the game to play itself and if that's the case, why am I playing a game? I'm just running from fight to fight. I appreciate it a little more now - mostly because I am a tired adult with limited game time so automatic fighting for 99% of the time combined with 2x speed (which honestly the original game should have had, it's been permanently on throughout this playthrough) makes it more palatable to grind and get through some of the longer travelling sections of the map. I also think it's partly because my expectation has shifted from 'strategy is what I choose to do in a fight' to 'strategy is how I prepare for the fight' - I was already aware of the gambit system and how to make it work so I could start having fun with trying new things.

However, the descriptions for some techniques are just ludicrous. The in-game text for Traveller lead me to assume that it gets stronger based on the total amounts of steps you've taken in the game (and similarly Horology for time spent in game). The wiki dispelled that illusion and confirmed that both attacks were pretty much useless unless you were micromanaging to a degree that I am simply not willing to do. Lots of the gameplay information is similarly vague and unhelpful. I feel like the only reason I understand what I'm doing is because I have played other Final Fantasy games (so I already know what the spells are supposed to do) or other RPGs (so I can guess that equipment will behave in a particular way or puzzles will react in a certain way). Even then, I've had to search for the odd solution (wait, you mean I have to summon the guy to open the door, not just touch it with the person who can summon him?).

The hunt sidequests are just tedious. There’s no need to pick up a hunt, then confirm with a separate NPC that you’ve accepted the hunt, then go to a third location to find the hunt (often with a stipulation that the mark can only be found when the weather is just right, which is largely random and results in you loading and unloading an area repeatedly to get the conditions right) and then go back to that NPC to claim the reward. Especially when none of those objectives are ever marked on your main map, and you can only access a reminder by opening up the main menu, selecting the clan primer, selecting hunts, scrolling through every hunt you’ve ever accepted (even completed ones) to find the current hunt, to see a description and on one very particular screen, you can open a map that has the hunt’s current objective marked. Unless it’s a hunt where it just gives a vague location for you to search. Those exist, too.

Speaking of tedious, the Great Crystal was a section designed to force you to use a guide. Prima must have bribed them for that, because I swear that place is impossible to navigate without a VERY detailed map - no ingame map, switches to open doors (on a timer) and multiple doors per switch that can actually wind up blocking access to areas later, so you have to retread old areas to reactivate the switch and open the right door (still on a timer) and do this while running past enemies and hopefully going the right direction, with no real visual clues or references? Either you grew up playing old school dungeon crawlers and you’ve drawn your own map, or you’ve bought a guide. Or googled, but back in 2006, you probably didn’t have ready access to the internet while you were playing.

On a really annoying ‘we want you to buy a guide’ note for me - Libra seems mostly useless as a skill. It allows you to see enemy data and traps in the world, which would be useful, except there’s a large swathe of enemies that are unreadable. Those would be the bosses and hunts - the powerful enemies you are most likely to want extra information on. Given that you have used resources to both learn and acquire the skill, plus the resource of time in the field to use it, it is really frustrating that it’s so useless when you really want it, and I can’t see a compelling gameplay reason for it except forcing you to use an external guide. Given that a large part of the combat is adjusting your strategy to suit the enemy you are facing, purposefully withholding the information is just forcing you to use trial and error or brute force. Or a guide.

The game thinks it's better at writing ye olde English than it is. I'm willing to chalk it up as difficulties in translation, but most of the dialogue is very stilted and formal regardless of who is speaking and what their actual background is. A third of the party are guttersnipe orphans, a third of the party are pirates and a third of the party are used to royal formalities - they should not all have the same vocabulary and manner of speaking. Similarly, the voice acting has some very weak moments that I absolutely chalk up to localisation difficulties - voice actors have to fit the dialogue to mouth flaps rather than the other way around, and they have some awful dialogue choices to work with, especially in fast-paced cutscenes.

Also, there are so many different non-human races and different human cultural backgrounds - which I love in theory - but they don't really explore anything in great detail. Either the beast races like Garrif and Viera don't want contact with humans and so give very minimal details on their culture and way of life, or they are like the Seeq and Bangaa - they integrate with humans so well that they might as well have been a human in a costume. Even the humans from vastly different places seem to not have any major differences between their ways of life, which considering a large motivation of the plot is war, you would think to see some kind of resistance or protest purely against losing their heritage or way or life. As it is, an NPC in Rabanastre is largely the same as an NPC in Archades.

There’s some really cool aesthetics in the background of Final Fantasy XII that were probably a result of Star Wars (personal hover-transports that absolutely aren’t speeders, the vehicles in Archades that don’t look at all like Coruscant or the huge dogfights between airships that definitely aren’t an action sequence from any movie franchise we can think of, no way…) but otherwise inaccessible to us as the player. Oh, you wanted control of a speeder? How about a chocobo? An airship? Uh, you can get one sometimes, if we want you to, but you don’t get to drive, and most of the time, you’re on foot, bucko. I’m not saying a little speeder chase section would have made the game amazing, but it would have been cool as all hell if we had something like the motorcycle chase sequence from FFVII to break the game up a little bit, you know?

Despite all this, I did have some kind of fun with the game. But it's definitely one where I'm brought my own fun. Like trying to work out how I would rewrite the script to make it more compelling. There are definitely seeds of something interesting, just never really explored.

Things I actually liked, in no specific order:

Balthier and Fran’s whole dynamic. I really like shady duos who have shared history, with the man as the brains and the woman as the brawn of the operation. Optional points for the woman being athletic, agile, and a woman of few words. If I had a nickle for every duo who met this standard…well, I’d have two nickles, but it’s weird that it’s happened twice. (see Roman and Neo from RWBY)

The fact that Vaan and Ashe didn’t wind up romantically entangled. Like, I was really worried that was going to be a thing. Especially as the game kept setting up ‘Ashe sees dead ex-husband’ followed immediately by ‘but anyway, here’s Vaan’. He is so young and childlike in comparison to the weight on Ashe’s shoulders, I was really squicked to think that this was a direction they might be going in.

The vierra in general - I just wish we had more of them and their culture. Just give me about 20 more cutscenes where I can appreciate tall bunny ladies who can step on me, please and thank you?

That’s about it. The team dynamic was underwhelming, to say the least, no one really bonded or connected with each other on-screen in any way the player could appreciate, they all just bounced around from plot point to plot point reacting (barely) to circumstances as they came up and never really had a proactive plan or goal.

If you did really like Final Fantasy XII, I'm actually really interested to hear why. If you read this and disagree, and want to point out things you really liked, please do. My opinion is not going to change, but it might help me appreciate an element of the game I had disregarded.

[rueitae]

Birthday Prompt: April 24. Pokemon. Historical with inappropriate use of death with Ash. (I feel like I totally cheated with both of these I’m so sorry.)

Happy (late) birthday to both of us, @the-pokemonjesus. I hope you like it. You deserve all the nice things. This was a treat for me to write, I’ve been wanting to touch on this particular subject for a long time now.

If any of you are at all interested in more of my adult!Ash headcanons, you can read my (kinda sorta) tie-in fic here. I tried to keep it vague in this one for the purposes of it being a one-shot so you don’t have to.

Lana: *makes a joke in Sun/Moon episode 31*

Me: Challenge Accepted.

(Read more appears on mobile after reblog)

~~~~

Ash took a deep breath as he collected the warm, humid air around him. Exhale. He smiled softly, eyes closed, as the mid afternoon sun warmed his face. It was nice to be back in Alola again. Even if he wasn't going to get to enjoy it for long, being able to visit with old friends made the trip worth it.

“Pika Pi!”

He grinned as he turned to face the voice, kneeling and extending an arm so his pokemon parter could jump up and join him. “Hey Buddy, how’s the girlfriend?” he teased.

Not amused, Pikachu bounced up onto his trainer’s shoulder and slapped the brim of Ash’s cap with his tail. “Pi,” he said, crossing his arms and turning his chin up in spite.

(No he had not learned the move, thank goodness. Professor Kukui would have had a field day.)

Ash recovered quickly, a bemused smile on his face as he adjusted his cap. “Pikachu, the last time you saw her, you brought back an Egg.”

The cheeks on the electric mouse turned a brighter red than usual. He deflated, lazily splayed out on his belly on Ash’s shoulder. “Chaaa,” he moaned pitifully.

Sympathetically, Ash gave his friend a good rub across the back. “If all goes well, we’ll be back for next year’s Alola League. You’ll be able to see her again then.” Ash perked up. “Speaking of, I’ll show you what I got at the store.”

The trainer opened the small brown bag that held his most recent purchase. Pikachu watched Ash’s actions intently, lovesickness less on his mind. The pokemon fell into exasperation upon seeing the object.

“Pikapi, pika pikachu,” he said dryly.

“Come on, I know you’ve soft spot for him.” Ash said, putting the Ice Stone in a more secure bag inside his backpack.

Pikachu rolled his eyes and slumped once more on his trainer’s shoulder. “Pikachu pika.”

“Billy’s a nice kid. And you saw Houndour; looked like it was going to evolve at any time. After watching the two, I have a feeling Vulpix isn’t going to like getting left behind.” He afforded himself a chuckle, entirely too pleased with himself on obtaining his recently self-appointed protege.

Pikachu stared pointedly.

“Fine,” Ash relented. “Don’t lie, you enjoy the looks on their faces too.”

That at least got a wicked grin out of the electric mouse. Ash would never turn down the opportunity to help a young trainer. With all of his childhood experiences amassed from leagues and traveling, he felt it was at least part of his adult responsibility to pass on what wisdom he could to the next generation. If he happened to pay a few special favors to Billy, well, he could hardly be blamed. Jessie and James were mostly not pleased at the twerpish influence he had on their son.

It was the least Ash figured he could do.

While the Ice Stone wasn’t the reason he’d come to the islands, it was a nice excuse to buy the gift.

The two had made their rounds to the Pokemon School and Professor Kukui before Ash had gone shopping, and Pikachu had vanished to visit his sweetheart. Now they were on a less familiar dirt path towards their last stop for the day. They hadn't even yet made it to Iki Town when they encountered two of the people they had come to see.

Ash broke out into a wide grin and raised an arm, waving enthusiastically. “Kahuna Hala! Lana! Alola!” he shouted when the two were within yelling distance.

Walking side by side, the two island residents registered him at the same time. Hala’s smile was more reserved, but Lana broke into a huge grin and rushed forward to greet them. Popplio wiggled out of her arms and met a scampering Pikachu halfway. The two pokemon nuzzled noses. An electric spark emitted off Pikachu’s cheeks and shocked the sea lion pokemon to a faint crisp.

Sincerely guilty, Pikachu let out a sad whine. Ash scooped him with exasperated guilt of his own. “Sorry,” he said. “We’ve been trying to unlearn Nuzzle for a while now.”

Lana held Popplio in her arms and was unconcerned, carrying the same quiet smile that she’d always had. Her companion was only incapacitated for a moment, shaking off the electric burns as if nothing had happened, smiling and thrilled to see old friends just the same. A bark and clap signaled that all was forgiven.

“Alola, Ash. Pikachu has gotten a lot stronger,” she teased, reaching out to scratch the pokemon behind the ears. Pikachu melted in contentment at the action. “I thought Mallow was joking with me when she said you were coming back so soon.”

“I know it's only been a month,” Ash admitted sheepishly, “but I needed to see Kahuna Hala in person.”

The man himself now slowly walked up to the younger trainers and stood beside them, his laugh ringing out loudly. "Alola, Ash! Well, no wonder Tapu Koko has been excited!"

Ash blushed despite himself, rubbing the back of his head. Pikachu couldn't help but snicker and meandered by to his shoulder spot. "Kahuna Hala," he then said, bowing politely, large grin on his face. "It's great to see you again."

"If I had known it was you coming we would have prepared a feast." The Melemele Island kahuna gestured for the others to follow as he turned towards Iki Town. “Lana and I have been busy with preparations for the Alola League expansion.”

“We are having lunch at the Aina Cafe tomorrow, you’re welcome to join us,” Lana told the Kahuna.

Ash fell in stride casually. "And we’re leaving later that evening. Besides,” he said, holding a hand over his stomach. “I'm still stuffed from the party you threw the last time we were here."

"A grand luau that was! The battle you and Kiawe gave us was one for the ages. The Ruins of Conflict were glowing with joy the day after," the Kahuna said. “We are still repairing the battlefield!”

Ash laughed nervously at the praise. "When we next visit we'll be sure to have another one." He stopped and turned to face the older trainer. "Today I came for some advice, actually."

Hala regarded the odd seriousness coming from the younger man in equal measure. "I see. Well, let us speak in my home. These old bones wouldn't mind sitting down for a bit,” he finished with a smile.

“I promised to help Mallow. I’ll see you tomorrow.” Lana turned towards the Kahuna. “Thank you for letting me help, the same next week to make sure the sound of construction will not wake Kyogre?”

The eyes of Ash and Pikachu widened to the size of dinner plates.

Lana stuck out a tongue at them and winked. “Just kidding. The wishi washi are helping with the noise reduction for the local pokemon. No Kyogre.”

“Indeed,” Hala confirmed, chuckling at the exaggerated expressions of the visitors. “Hariyama and I will be waiting.”

Lana waved goodbye and set out back towards the city. The two men filled the remainder of the short walk to Iki Town with idle chatter on the changes the islands had seen over the years. Lana was doing underwater surveys to determine the best spots for potential Trials.

Arriving at the Kahuna's house, the two took glasses of iced tea out to the lanai, and seated themselves in rocking chairs. Pikachu took his absence to play with the neighborhood Rockruff.

"For you to make the trip all the way to Alola to seek my advice is no small endeavor," Hala started. "Something must truly be bothering you. I know you have council closer to home."

Ash took a sip of tea before answering, his face showed he was lost in thought. "Do you remember what you asked me when I started my Trial?"

Hala nodded. "I asked how you would resolve the situation with the Rattata and Raticate without a battle. You had a good answer."

"I've been thinking back on that more and more lately," Ash said, leaning back in his chair, looking up at the clear sky. “I need to find another good answer, and you were the one who told me to seek out help if I couldn't come up with something on my own. A friend came to me with a problem - a big problem. I definitely can’t solve it with a pokemon battle.”

“Hmm,” Hala mused. “I am sure you are more than equal to the task after seeing your accomplishments here on the islands.”

Ash paled slightly. “Islands...yeah that’s true I guess.” He sighed. “I’m hoping to meet with an old friend later tonight about it.”

“And you need all the advice you can get,” Hala deducted with a nod, understanding. “I can see the weight of responsibility on your shoulders, Ash. It’s a different look for you.”

Ash smiled, a bit of a tired sigh escaped as well. “A lot of my old adventures are catching up to me is all. Tapu Koko knows all about it.”

“Not surprising, you are his chosen one after all.”

Ash twitched slightly at the Kahuna’s choice of words, but refrained from commenting. “Anyway, I need permission to go out on Route 3 tonight.”

Hala smiled warmly. “You passed my Trial ages ago. You’re free to go to whatever part of the island you need.” He paused. “Perhaps I can offer some advice for you. Whatever it is that you are facing, do not do so alone.”

Ash nodded, a wide grin finally growing on his face. “That I never planned on doing.”

~~~~

Later that night Ash made his way to a remote part of Route 3 on Melemele Island. Aside a berry tree, he stood on a cliff overlooking the ocean. Pikachu yawned, leaning against the tree sleepily. Hands in his pockets, Ash gave his best friend an empathetic look.

"Sorry, Bud. I know it's late, but we can't exactly do this during the day."

Pikachu waved him off, unconcern. "Pika pika."

The trainer went back to looking out over the ocean. A part of him was a bit nervous. He loved meeting old friends, but this one carried part of the weight Hala had spoken to him about.

It was Cynthia who had suggested he come here, rather than travel to the Orange Islands. This time of year the waters stirred more ferociously in Alola.

A rush of wind and rustling of the bushes signaled the trainer and pokemon had a new companion. Ash turned his head to see the guardian of Melemele Island floating next to him.

"Hi, Tapu Koko. I wish we had time for a battle," he smiled regretfully.

"Tapuuuuuu." The guardian agreed, and turned its head to look out over the ocean.

Ash gazed over the ocean again as well. It seemed Tapu Koko wanted to greet their mutual friend.

Pikachu roused himself from his spot by the tree and sat at attention, the guardian pokemon straightening up as well, preparing to be a dignitary.

A spiral of water shot up with great force just beyond the cliff, spraying the group. The column of water collapsed into a sphere. When it dissolved, the water's great guardian hovered in its place.

Ash smiled despite himself, a flood of memories washing over him with greater force than the water. "Lugia," he said. "It's good to see you again."

"Kooooo!" Tapu Koko shot up and gave the fellow legendary a slight bow in greeting. Lugia reciprocated the action in reverence.

"Tapu Koko, Chosen One, Pikachu. It is good to see you all," Lugia said. "I am not pleased it had to be for this reason."

Ash frowned. "Azelf told me what is going on. This thing is contaminating the lakes in Sinnoh and,” he gulped, “probably other places too. Are you alright?”

“The problem is far more widespread than any of us expected.” Lugia began. “I am spending more and more of my day keeping it in check across the ocean.”

“What is it, exactly?” Ash asked, brows furrowed in worry now that they were down to business. “I’ve never seen it before and Cynthia hasn’t heard of it.”

“It is...complicated.” Lugia began with a frown. “It is older than most legends, however, the danger is presents is real. As the beast of the sea carries it to further corners of the globe, the substance will continue to poison the waters.”

Ash frowned, but nodded. “You know I’ll help, but… I don’t know what to do.”

“Collect the three treasures. Play my song to calm and heal the beast,” Lugia said quickly. “If this does not work...then I’m afraid it will be beyond my abilities alone.”

Ash frowned slightly in contemplation, tapping an index finger on his chin. “If we only have one shot at this,” he grinned, “let me get some friends. I know just the right people.”

Lugia nodded. “Your travels have served you well over the years.

“I don’t want to let them down,” Ash responded. “This world belongs to all of us.”

“More true words have never been spoken. I will do all that I can to mitigate the damage in the meantime. I imagine Tapu Koko and his fellow guardians will assist in kind around the Islands.” Lugia turned to his peer.

Tapu Koko nodded, and bristled in agitation.

“I’ll book the first flight to Johto when I get back home,” Ash said seriously. “I’ll look for Suicune first. If you need to find me - ”

Lugia nodded. “I know how to get in touch. Travel safe, Chosen One. It seems perils of the world will not rest in our lifetimes.”

Ash had a momentary lapse of reality as he thought back on a few choice adventures. “I know better by now to think otherwise,” he paused briefly. He hated to end the conversation on such a sour note, even if the circumstances were dire. Picking at his memory, he flushed, nearly embarrassed to speak now. “If you have just a minute, do you think you could do me a favor?”

“A favor? If it is within my power I would do anything you asked, Chosen.”

Ash grinned, the thought of finally getting the one up won out. “I was hoping you would pay a visit to a friend of mine who lives on the island….”

~~~~

“Mallow this is delicious! I feel like it gets better every time I visit!”

The Aina Cafe was filled to capacity for lunch. Old friends, both human and pokemon, had come to say hello to the island’s honorary son during his unexpected visit. Pikachu was seated next to Ash on the table, happily chewing away at a treat. Togedemaru was overtly content to eat beside him.

“You flatterer!” Mallow lightly accused. “You just want more, don’t you?”

Sophocles didn’t even look up, scrolling through lines of code on his wrist projector. “You’re going to give him more anyway, just do it.”

Ash made sure to project his most heartfelt, pleading eyes. “I have to remember what it tastes like, I’m going on the road again.”

Mallow sighed dramatically, her genuine smile giving her true feeling away. “It's good to have you back Ash, even for a meal. It too bad Lillie couldn’t be visiting at the same time.”

“Are you sure you don’t have time for a battle?” Kiawe asked. He was relaxed, but wasn’t able to hide his disappointment.

“Sorry,” Ash answered, truly regretful. “I need to catch my flight. I have someone I need to meet in Johto as soon as possible.”

“Speaking of, I’m surprised Lana isn’t here yet, “ Sophocles said. “Your flight time isn’t going to leave much time other than eating here for socializing.”

Mallow made a show of thinking. “Didn’t you say you saw her yesterday, Ash?”

As if on cue, the door to the cafe swung open. Lana stood on the threshold, Popplio by her side. Both looked frazzled and confused. “I saw Lugia!” she exclaimed before anyone could ask what was wrong.

There was a prolonged silence - before the room erupted with laughter.

“A good one, Lana!” Sophocles howled.

Kiawe wiped a tear from his eye. “You’re getting more creative with your delivery.”

“No! I actually did see Lugia!” she said frantically. “It talked to me and everything!”

Mallow grinned. “What did Lugia say then?”

“‘Hello, Friend of the Chosen One’,” she recited. “‘Would you like a ride?’” Lana took a deep breath before continuing, going on as if she were telling a scary story. “And then we swam underwater. I passed out, and woke up on Poni Island! I thought I had died when I saw Lugia standing over me.”

“That’s a little too ridiculous,” Kiawe said. “And specific.”

“Popplio was there too! Right?” she said, turning to her partner.

The sea lion pokemon barked and nodded enthusiastically in agreement.

Sophocles pouted. “I’m not falling for it again. Just last month you said Kyogre was sunbathing by the rock pool, and Popplio agreed to that too!”

“I’m telling the truth this time! I promise! You believe me, right Ash?”

Ash looked up for the first time since Lana had entered, setting his full spoon back down on his plate. He gave her a wry grin. “Well, I hear Lugia lives around the Seafoam Islands and Orange Islands.” He made a show of contemplating. “I suppose it's possible Lugia wanted a vacation. It is the same ocean after all. Who wouldn’t want to visit this beautiful place?”

Lana zoomed in to hug him tight. The others laughed around them, letting Ash know he was too nice to humor her. He’d come clean about it someday, probably sooner since he’d need the help from his Ultra Guardians team with this latest world crisis. Until he figured out the origin of the threat though, letting them live in bliss was something he could do.

It seemed these days a lot of things were coming full circle from his childhood. So, despite the somber reason behind his visit, his mind idly wondered what a certain bewear was up to and if he had the time to find out.

[melanielocke]

Queer book recommendations/new books

Although it is sad Chain of Thorns was initially supposed to come out this week but didn't, there are plenty new books to read that I think many of you would enjoy to pass the time. Two of which actually came out November 1st, the same day ChoT was originally supposed to release.

Here they are!

I'll start with a Taste of Gold and Iron, which came out this August. It's an adult m/m fantasy romance featuring prince Kadou and his body guard Evemer. After an incident with a powerful ambassador, Kadou has to prove his loyalty to his sister, the queen, and investigate a conspiracy involving counterfeit coins in a world where certain people have the ability to touch-taste precious metals with their finger. It's a slow burn type of romance between a prince and his body guard. I really liked how Kadou's chronic anxiety was depicted. Evemer, on the other hand, is very stoic and duty driven. He tends to be quiet. He can go entire days only saying "yes, my prince" and "no, my prince". The book has both their POVs and includes discussions about ethics and a very intimate (not necessarily sexual) bathhouse scene which may have inspired a similar scene in my Trojan war AU from Alastember.

Next up is a Marvellous Light and a Restless Truth. These are the first two books in a historic fantasy romance trilogy set in the Edwardian era. Book 2 came out this tuesday and I just finished it. The first focuses on Robin Blyth, a young non magical man who is accidently given a government post to do with magic, which leads to him finding out magic is real. The magic society would just erase his memory and replace him with someone who knows magic, except that he gets cursed by the same people who killed his predecessor, and now he and his grumpy magical coworker Edwin Courcey have to get to the bottom of the conspiracy and also undo the curse. The second book continues the investigation in the same conspiracy, but instead stars Robin's sister Maud, who accompanies an old lady on a journey from New York to England on a ship. Except the old lady dies on the first day and now Maud has to investigate who killed her with the help of a scandalous magician called Violet. These books are a lot of fun, especially book 2 had me laughing a lot. Be warned there's a lot of sexual content in this series, more so than the other books. Book 2 has a lot of emphasis on sexual self discovery and involves Maud buying a suitcase of what is essentially the Edwardian era version of very explicit fic.

I cannot tell you a lot about Ocean's Echo by Everina Maxwell because it just arrived and I haven't read it yet. Like a Restless Truth, it came out November 1st. But it's very pretty and I wanted to show it anyway. I don't know if it's good yet. I did read Everina Maxwell's first book, which is Winter's Orbit, the book the Stars Collide draws a lot of inspiration from. As far as I know Ocean's Echo is not connected to Winter's Orbit, but is set in a completely different part of the same universe, where some people have developed mind control abilities. I'll tell you more about this book once I've read it, but as of right now I'd definitely recommend Winter's Orbit and have high hopes for this one.

Finally, I have Prince of the Sorrows and Lord of Silver Ashes by Kellen Graves. I put them on top of each other on the picture because the cover of the first book won't fall flat and otherwise it'd look stupid. The first book came out in March, while the second just came out last week. It's an indie published m/m fantasy romance series. Right now there are two books out, the second one came out just last week and arrived today. There's going to be more of them, but it's currently not set how many, though I did read the author might make it an eight book series. I guess that depends on if people buy it? I haven't read book 2 yet, since it just arrived, but I did read book 1 and really liked it. Saffron is a human changeling living in a fae world, and he will be sent back to the human world once he gets too old, unless he can get an academic endorsement to keep studying there. He accidently learns the true name of prince Cylvan, a brooding fae prince, and makes a deal with him to help him remove the power from his true name in exchange for an edorsement. At the same time, other human servants are getting killed and Saffron has to find out what's going on before he's next. I'll probably have to reread book 1 before starting book 2 because I don't remember enough, but I'm excited where this is going.

I hope this helps and let me know if you want more book recommendations in the future or if there is anything specific you're looking for!

@alastaircarstairsdefenselawyer @life-through-the-eyes-of @styxdrawings @justanormaldemon @ipromiseiwillwrite @a-dream-dirty-and-bruised @amchara @all-for-the-fanfiction @imsoftforthomastair @ddepressedbookworm @queenlilith43 @wagner-fell @cant-think-of-anything @laylax13s @tessherongraystairs @boredfangirl16 @artist-in-soul @bottomdelioncourt @ikissedsmithparker

[doubleddenden]

I got bored and decided to do some more "what if" teams for some characters in fan games. One is Dray- and actually, he was originally a persona i played as in my original Tandor run, but I think he's sort of evolved into his own character at this point to warrant a revisit. The other is Hana, sort of a pacifist and mostly just started her journey because her sisters are the former Champion and the Elite 4 of her home region, but eventually grew into her own self. These two are sort of a couple and I imagine by the time they go to Tandor together, they get engaged.

And yeah, if most of Dray's sprite looks familiar, it was a very low effort edit and splice. But, Hana's was actually really fun to splice and dice up.

I also like to imagine these specific iterations are connected to my "Ash AU" universe where he goes to Tandor like he would official regions.

Anyway more stuff under the cut. I will not apologize for fan fic level cringe- I've had a very rough day and I have killed the part of me that cringes long ago.

Of course, I should mention that while I edit and make the sprites myself from my own resources, the sprites here come from within Uranium's files, so I did not make those or edit them whatsoever.

Dray is a strong, champion tier trainer from my fan made region, Tauraro, and the son of a former champion himself. In the "game" he serves as the main rival and best friend/Co chosen one to the player. In the "anime" (both of which do not exist), Dray is sort of a rival and protégé to a young adult Champion Ash. He was originally very meek, but through both journeys, he learns how to be brave for the sake of others and eventually himself. In the "game" you two fight for the last time in the battle to end all battles, and he eventually concedes to you. In the "anime," Dray and Champion Ash give an amazing battle, and to his own disbelief, he wins and becomes Champion, leaving Ash a pretty proud brother figure.

I imagine since then he traveled a fair bit to explore the world and truly take in what he used to be far too scared to explore. He's now pretty outgoing and somewhat charismatic, but still has some reservations about some things. I think he makes himself braver so he can protect/impress Hana, though she still has to nudge him along sometimes.

Eventually he'd make his way to Tandor, digging the "start fresh" method of going in without a single Pokémon from his past adventures. His goal here wasn't initially to compete in the league- actually, he and Hana decided to travel together here after they got engaged at some point to test their compatibility, and it's actually working pretty well.

But if we're continuing this "ash anime" timeline established last time, I'd say he and Hana are sort of a season 2 cast shake up. Ash would probably meet them somewhere around badge 3 in Bealbeach and be happy to see them, but totally clueless to the reason they have matching rings and hair clips until they flat out say it, and Ash is just flabbergasted but happy for them. Eventually Hana would encourage Dray to participate in the Tandor League with Ash for old time's sake, noting that the regional routes actually make a pretty ideal itinerary for touring the region, and Dray decides to give it a go with Pokémon he caught while exploring. I do think Dray would probably be a tad annoyed by Theo, but actually weirdly see a lot of himself in Theo and try to give him a leading hand- of course butting heads like brothers would, and Theo absolutely thinks Dray is cheating by competing as a champion. Dray and Pluto, though, get along pretty great, even though Pluto definitely doesn't know a thing about Dray at all.

As far as the Curie plot, I think Dray plays a very minor role here, but still does his best to help where he can. He is absolutely TERRIFIED of Nuclear pokemon and of getting radiation poisoned, until Hana eventually befriends one herself, and inadvertently he obtains his own.

As far as his standing in the league, Dray and Ash would definitely fight in the semi finals in an all no holds barred match, but I think Dray would know he lost and say something like "Hey... you better win for us in the finals." before his shiny Beliaddon faints to Ash's Shiny Nuclear Pajay.

So, his team:

Nucleon (Nuclear): I think Dray picks up a baby Eevee from a shelter at some point and that serves as his starter. It's a very shy but sweet Pokémon that clearly didn't have a lot of good memories, but Dray and Hana spoil it rotten. At some point, Dray is in danger from the route 8 Nuclear horde of Pokémon attacking, and Eevee uses the radiation to evolve into Nucleon to save his beloved trainer. Dray was a little apprehensive, but he knew it was the same Eevee, and it was perfectly safe, so now Dray continues to spoil it rotten. It's pretty much always out of the ball when permitted.

Duplicat (Normal): initially a released breedject from a snobby Ace Trainer, Duplicat took up residence in Bealbeach and survived by impersonating humans. It duplicated Dray himself once and nearly gave Hana a heart attack when there were suddenly two of him. Dray eventually caught it, and Duplicat, while happy to be part of a loving family, still retains a Naughty nature and pretends to be either Dray, Hana, or one of the other Pokémon. In battle, Dray actually utilizes it in a unique fashion to learn about native Pokémon he DOESN'T catch, and he's especially a fan using Duplicat to transform into enemy Mega Pokémon, basically allowing him to use two on one team in a sense. It also rides on Dray's shoulder and sometimes infiltrates conversations in groups to mess with people.

(Shiny) Beliaddon (Fire/Dark): as a Champion, Dray was given a tour of the future League facility, and when he ventured near Victory Road... he suddenly had a Shiny Devimp. He had no idea how he obtained it or even remembered catching it, but looking into its eyes always scares him somewhat. That being said, Devimp warned up pretty quick, although it does seem to be using him. After a while, Dray became sort of possessed when battling with it, especially after it evolved so quickly, becoming more erratic and scary in fights. When it finally evolved into Beliaddon, Dray figured out that it was using him for reasons he can't understand. Yet despite knowing that, Dray still risked his life to save it from Curie and Urayne- this was the point Beliaddon abandoned whatever dark motives it had and became one of Dray's strongest pokemon and a powerful ace, and the two share a strange but deep bond now.

Mega Electruxo (Water Electric): Dray eventually met professor Baambo'o and took the starter quiz to obtain an Eletux. It evolved pretty quickly after traveling so frequently and it became full of itself and proud of its power, but is quickly and pathetically tamed by treats and scritches by Hana. It also served to be a rather odd but somewhat romantic water travel with its ability to run on water like land. Upon gaining Mega Evolution, Dray ALSO somewhat becomes a bit proud of their power, mimicking Electruxo's nature, and thus deepening their bond and battle sync.

Astronite (Rock/Psychic): while taking an evening stroll with Hana, a meteor fell from the sky nearby and crash landed near them. This was as a Comite, and he seemed very lost and afraid until Dray and Hana took it in. It was revealed to be separated from its flock from a passing meteor shower, and with currently no way to leave the planet, it was saddened and stuck. Dray made sure to treat it super well and friendly to try and help fill the gaps, and eventually it came to see the group as his new family. It would eventually be traded to and from Hana to evolve it to Astronite, and with that it seemed to allow it to enter adulthood. Now it can leave the planet any time it wants, and actually has a lock on on its family it left behind- and yet it chooses to stay with Dray and Hana for now. I imagine there's a sad farewell towards the end of the series where it leaves earth and reunites with his family, but will come home at a moment's notice if needed.

Frosthra (Bug/Ice): this Pokémon was terrifying a small village to the icy north, and actually kidnapped Hana and several other villagers and trainers it planned to eat. Despite the warnings, Dray recklessly went to save Hana and braved blizzards, cliffs, and near frostbite to save her and eventually fought Frosthra with his team. With a final push, Dray eventually won and saved the villagers. It was Hana though that pleaded with Dray to capture it so it could be healed, and so he did. Frosthra since has been a somewhat awkward Pokémon, but well mannered. Duplicat, Hana's Owten, and Nucleon seem rather fond of it, and it has taken a gentle giant approach to their friendship.

Now for Hana:

Hana started out on her journey the same day as Dray, and also grew up in the shadow of someone else- Her oldest sister, aka the champion before Dray and/or the Protagonist would usurp her, and the middle but still older sibling that was the Grass type elite 4 member. Hana used to dislike fighting and battles in general, and used to be rather shy and soft spoken. She and Dray weren't really close when they first started out, with Hana thinking he was nice and not knowing at all about his feelings for her, but not more beyond that. Yet she grew to admire Dray, thinking he was a courageous and determined trainer after seeing how he grew in leaps and bounds- She doesn't realize that she herself may have been partially responsible for this, since he was trying to become cooler for her but also his own team. Hana would also try to emulate this new side of Dray more, eventually being able to stomach battling when necessary and standing up to the evils of the world that stand before her.

She's accepted she isn't much of a battler, however, and is okay with that. She'd rather pamper Pokemon and groom them, and is more than okay with letting someone else take the spotlight as long as she gets to travel and be with those she likes, and is considering opening a Daycare and Nursery service when she finally settles down. In fact, she's more concerned about making new memories than anything else.

Towards the end of the Tauraro saga, I imagine Hana would eventually break the ice by asking Dray out- The two would sort of dance around their feelings for each other, and Hana would probably be the first to realize what was happening and just do it. Since then, they've been pretty happy about traveling together and trying to help motivate each other. And then eventually they got engaged after about 2 years of dating since they already became best friends in their travels- I think Dray would nervously pop the question on the cruise line to Tandor when they were all alone with a beautiful ocean sun set, and both probably cried when she said yes.

Hana takes a big tour guide and tourist approach to her travel through Tandor with Dray, learning a bit of history and serving a bit of exposition wherever they travel. She's not an expert as a native that's lived there for years or scientists that have made it their field of study, but she isn't exactly clueless either, and is an excellent puzzle solver, utilizing her and Dray's team to help them figure out how to get out of bad situations or how to traverse complex dungeons or routes.

Like Dray, she's also much more comfortable with herself and more confident, but will still feel a bit nervous if put on the spot to do anything. Yet during the Tandor saga, she'd be more than willing to help escapees and refugees from the nuclear fall out and help with the study of Nuclear pokemon and how to tame them or cure them. When she gets into it, she can take a very confident and competent leadership role without realizing it, and Dray feels butterflies when seeing this side of her. Likewise, Hana still crushes on him whenever he gets really into a battle or does something cool and badass without trying.

As far as her friendships with other characters go, I don't think she has any enemies and tries to see the good in everyone- Although, she has a slightly possessive side to her if she feels that someone is moving in on Dray too much. In the "games," she sees you as a good friend and also sees you as a source of inspiration, and in the "anime" I think she would get along with Ash just fine, but accidentally forget he's not a kid and treat him as a doting big sister to a child. To Pluto and Theo, she takes a very similar approach and tries to be a comforting older sister figure to them both, especially to Theo when he thought his dad had died. She sort of becomes an unofficial Nurse Joy and an unofficial Ranger during times of emergency as well, so she makes friends in their ranks by accident and has a lot of respect. Pluto's father tried to promote her, but was shocked to learn she wasn't one of them, and tried to get her to join, but she politely declined.

Now for her team:

Selkid (Water/Fairy): On their WAY to Tandor, Hana spotted this poor baby floating in the water and looking as if it had gotten beaten up. Without hesitating, she rescued it with a heal ball attached to a fishing rod and nursed it back to health. Since then, Selkid has been grateful and cares for Hana as if she were its mother, and she dotes and carries it like a child as well. It's somewhat skiddish and afraid to fight, but when Hana is in danger, Selkid will do whatever it takes to help her. I think by the time the series would end, Selkid is eventually reunited with its school in the wild, and Hana makes the heart breaking but responsible decision to let it rejoin its group. Until then, they are family as far as each other are concerned.

Owten (Normal/Flying): Upon seeing an Owten in the wild, Hana refused to leave the route until she had one due to how adorable and fluffy it was. Owten behaves quite like a very gentle cat and always hangs on her shoulder or head, purring constantly when happy- which is pretty much all the time. Owten is kind of dumb, though, and does not understand certain commands besides food related ones, so it too is also useless in battle, but not a burden to her.

Laissure (Ground): During the same trip to the Pokemon League grounds, Hana found a Sheebit and absolutely had to have the little rabbit. Despite how cute it was, it was very serious about fighting and is deceptively quick to anger. Hana is somehow able to calm it rather easily though, so it is managed. Laissure evolved and serves as her team's strongest battler, fighting on its own when Hana cannot give out orders, and is a valuable asset during the dangerous events that unfolded.

Hazma (Nuclear): After the Route 8 incident, the discovery of Hazma proved to be a major asset in fixing the environments and Pokemon affected by the nuclear fallout- and of course, Hana saw the cuteness in one and wanted to keep it. Dray wasn't exactly sure it was safe, but when it was revealed that Hazma EAT radiation, it was actually more than safe to keep around. Hazma behaves a little oddly, but it is appreciative of the affection Hana gives it. It likes Dray's Nucleon a little too much, though, and tries to suck its Radiation energy in a way similar to Heracross and Bulbasaur from the anime.

anyway that's all. I might try to make teams for Theo and Pluto in the future, or I might move on to another "what if" thingy and either introduce more characters or move to another fan game.

[whatdamiwatched]

Max & Helen - From the Beginning...

In preparation for the sharpwin ship sailing next week, I went and rewatched season 1 to really contextualise the way their relationship has developed, and I have to say it was quite eye opening.

The Introduction

We are introduced to Georgia in the first scene with Max via his phone screen, there’s a photo of her as his background photo. Their first conversation on screen happens when he calls her in the middle of this day just after he speaks to Helen for the first time

Max- Just calling to say hi

Georgia- Really?

Max- isn’t that what people do?

Georgia- people, yes. You…not so much.

Max- I’m trying, I’m going to change, I’m going to win you back

Georgia- well you have 12 weeks.

It isn’t until later that we find out fully that this marriage is failing and being held together by guilt and a difficult pregnancy, which makes it even worse that Max’s attempt at “trying” was calling her in the middle of the day to say nothing compelling.

Enter Helen- confident, smart, an asset to the hospital and the only doctor Max personally seeks out on his first day- to insist that she immediately cut down on travel or get fired. While the other doctors are stats and figures to him when he starts at New Amsterdam, Helen is Dr Helen. Already their relationship is being established as different from his relationship with the other doctors. In a throat biopsy, he’s distracted by her on tv- so distracted in fact, that he’s pushed to give her another ultimatum even though the first one hasn’t expired.

Max’s ultimatum was significant for Helen because for the first time since she had been running and hiding from the pain in her life, someone saw her and cared enough to make her stop. Even though it was a medical director she just met, and it was because of work, it was grounding for her for someone to see her and need her in that way.

Her choosing to come back was significant, not just because of Max, but because it was the catalyst for facing the emotional baggage she had been trying to escape.

So here we are- Max in the hospital where his sister died and donated her organs, trying to find closure and Helen- weighed down by emotional baggage that she’s ready to face.

Tell Me One True Thing

Georgia and Max meet in the hospital where he works- her energy is light and energetic; their connection is fun and their first date is in the hospital cafeteria. From that scene, their banter is fun and flirty, but Max is relaxed – they both are, it’s an easy connection. When Max proposes, he does it by the hospital when he’s on call! He’s in his scrubs and not only does he think that’s okay- she thinks that’s okay.

Their relationship never really existed outside of his career, he never put her first, and she points this out when she finds out about the medical director job. She knows that he will not choose her over the hospital, especially not the hospital where Luna died. The thing is, Max doesn’t even really try. He never chooses her, and she never actually expects him to.

When he almost dies at the lake and has the temporary epiphany that he has to take his cancer seriously, she doesn’t advocate for him to leave his job- even though…he almost died. She knows the job still comes first. Georgia and Max’s relationship thrived on emotional distance- when Georgia begs him in her hospital bed to tell her one true thing- he could only say- I love you. While he and Helen debated his cancer treatment, her only input was going with what Max wanted? When he woke up from his minor tooth surgery, his first thought wasn’t how the surgery chain went, it was what helen said specifically.

I love my doctor

Before Helen, Max had likely never felt true intimacy and vulnerability. He had likely never been able to be himself completely with a partner. We don’t know much about his relationship with his parents, but we can deduce that he’s not close to them.

Although the physical chemistry was palpable from their first scene, Max and Helen built a friendship based on trust and honesty since they let each other in very early. This relationship was built with the best intentions but every relationship comes to a point where emotion supersedes emotion and that’s where we ended up at 1x 16 where the clairvoyant tells Max that he’s going to lose someone close to hum. As soon as she assured him that it wasn’t his wife, he pulls Helen aside to reassure her and try to explain how he feels about her ending by saying “I love my doctor”.IN THE MIDDLE OF TREATING A PATIENT IN THE MIDDLE OF A STORM WHILE MARRIED. At this point, both Max and Helen are at a crossroads of the undeniability of their connection, even though they are both too principled and respectful to call it anything other than “this thing between us”.

At the lake, when he goes to spread ashes for Luna, he says to her- or to the wind that he’s addressing as her- everything I do is because of you. I just keep trying to save you , over and over that’s all I do and I never, never will.

Now where did we end up hearing those EXACT words before?

In that moment, it’s Max admitting that he’s been consumed with emotions that are clouding his judgment and he has to let go.

When Helen uses those words in 2x16, the subtext is the same. By that time, she had saved his life and even Georgia’s life- multiple times. She even saved his life twice in one episode! She saved his life by taking on his cancer in the first place, she saved his life by choosing to pass him off to another doctor when he was using their relationship as an opportunity to not take his cancer seriously and she saved his life by making the decision for him to stop that treatment when it wasn’t working. She took on the role of deputy medical director- which let’s face it was more or less the medical director, she found him, not one but two trials, she gave up half her department that she loved more than anything. She gave up her romantic relationship- she meant it when she said everything I’ve done I’ve done for you- just like Max meant it when he said it to Luna. Max and Helen had have both poured themselves into people that couldn’t pour back, one because she was dead, and the other because he had too many warring emotions to deal with.

Helen could have let Max save her more- he definitely was willing to be that person and showed it many times, but we have to accept that she was in a very difficult position. Just as soon as she felt settled, started a new relationship, made a decision about freezing her eggs, she’s hit with a consuming, intimate relationship with someone that’s married. She had to leave some walls up.  

Everything I Do Is For You

Their characters have gone through a lot- Helen has a dead parent and a dead fiancée, fertility issues and a fear of vulnerability and the feeling of running out of time- Max has a dead wife, who he had outgrown emotionally, raising a child alone, battling with grandparents that blame him for their daughter’s death and parents that by all indications don’t play a significant role in his life, plus a dead sister he has carried with him his whole life. Finding each other was in many ways, the catalyst each of them needed to move forward with life at so many points. For Max, he could have very well died without Helen- Georgia could have died in the bedroom without Helen- his grieving process would definitely have been longer and more complicated without Helen – it wasn’t insignificant that she was the one that pushed the ghost of Georgia out of the apartment, she was an anchor through it all.

For Helen, she was pushed to come back to the hospital and by having that anchor to a place and her patients, she was able to explore romantic relationships and face her fertility and wanting a child head on, she was able to explore how much of herself she could give to another person again after Mohammed died and try another relationship. In turn, she was able to be in a different position when Mina came to live with her.

By Max receiving the kind of selfless love he had never gotten before (from the parts of his story we’ve been told), he was finally able to heal, from so much of the stuff he’d been carrying to come to a place where he feels able to match Helen’s energy. To come to a point where he’s able to see himself as a WHOLE person, not just a flawed one- not just a guilty one- not just an overworked or crazy or erratic one. The speech at the end of 3x13 to Luna’s parents showed just how far he’s come; how much he’s changed and how much his relationship with Helen has changed him. The confidence that he was enough as- is a Max that we had never seen before.

And Helen- naming them- before now, it’s always been Max with his double meanings  and his “I want to build something better for you and Mina” and “It helps not to be alone” and “I can’t do this without you”, but this time it’s Helen- Helen who is saying “us”- Helen who is putting them together as a family and is relaxed and comfortable doing so. Helen who isn’t simply giving him advice as a friend or listening to him but giving him advice as an anchor- we are here and we are fine and you need to fight for our family because it’s worth it.

I see you

The decon shower. His hand trailing down her neck. Those voicemails. Here they are finally, trying to get into an ADULT relationship. Moving beyond the cute hand holding and lingering looks, to hopefully many kisses, many distractions and many mornings waking up next to each other.

Sharpwin is coming and I’m ready!

[punprincess321]

I think we agree McCree has some lines towards his female teammates that’d earn him a shove.

To widowmaker-  Don't like shooting a lady. But for you, I'll make an exception. (this is when McCree manages to kill widowmaker ingame)

To Pharah-  Just remember Pharah, we ain't playing with toy guns anymore (She responds positively saying she’s better with a real gun)

and not to mention his condescending attitude to Ashe.

With the cowboy persona he’s built up It’s easy to see this as him being sexist. Understandable but we also need to put these lines into perspective with his story, morals and connections to these characters, let’s start with Pharah’s as it’s the easiest to decipher.

Jesse was 17 when he was brought to Overwatch, Fareeha was 13 and was a frequent visitor of the overwatch bases her mother was stationed at, it’s likely that she met Jesse at one of the bases during his preparation to be officially drafted as an agent and from the brother/sister dynamic they’ve presented at times in the present time of the game, it’s safe to say they got close when they were young. Since Fareeha idolized her mother at this point she most likely wanted to learn to shoot, Jesse had a bit of responsibility in his teenage mind and either bought toy guns himself or Fareeha already had some and he just taught her to shoot with them.

When Fareeha became older she began to learn how to use the real thing as evident by this spray below, depicting her as a young adult at a shooting range. (I’m unsure if the combo of this spray and McCree shooting next to her is an actual canon event so im going to assume he wasn’t shooting with her)

Jesse was being taught by Ana so Fareeha most likely had to teach herself and with Jesse now a full blown agent, he was too busy to see Fareeha and she probably stopped coming to visit her mother when she was refused a spot as an overwatch agent. Jesse saying that they’re not using toy guns anymore is probably a callback to the fun they had running through the halls of the base shooting rubber and foam darts at anyone they came across and he wants to make sure that his new “sister” is ready, Pharah’s reassurance is just her telling Jesse he’s going to see what’s she’s learnt.

Now let’s look at what he says to Widowmaker; Amelie’s husband Gerard was a good friend of the overwatch team, McCree had the chance to know him as he was Gabe’s ward and most likely had to stand by at meetings that Gabe had with Gerard so the two having met was inevitable. Jesse had respect for Gerard and helped get vengeance for him in Venice when he was hurt, but while he had respect for Gerard, Jesse probably doesn’t hate Widowmaker for that reason so what other reason would he have to dehumanize her and see her as someone who deserves to die?

Gabe and Ana. Widowmaker had managed to wound Ana and it made her go into hiding, Jesse lost someone he respected and looked up to, and then she began working with Reaper, Gabriel, Jesse’s teacher and father figure, the person who saved his life. Widowmaker became someone Jesse saw as an enabler of Gabe’s spiral into the darkside. To him this woman destroyed his family, the people he relied on, she killed and corrupted his mentors. Yes Jesse’s comment is sexist but it isn’t about her gender, it’s about her actions and what she did to him, he doesn’t know Amelie was brainwashed, he sees her as a traitor just as much as Gabe.

And now for Ashe. The BFF, the supposed old flame, the OG sister.

Ashe and Jesse were literally thick as thieves, they were extremely close and there seemed to be lingering attraction at times since in the Deadlock novel Ashe had made Jesse blush at one point, Ashe was the first person Jesse supposedly cared about and she cared about him.

When Jesse got arrested, he was rehabilitated, he saw the benefit of being a helpful person rather than harmful and changed his tune completely. From what I can assume and how they talked in Reunion, Jesse did return to deadlock gorge at one point, most likely to talk Ashe out of her illegal business, tell her she doesn’t have to be a criminal. This obviously led to them falling out and Jesse having to run away to avoid being killed, having only small run-ins with her and the gang which always ended up with Ashe losing her cool and starting a fight. Jesse gave up on trying to get Ashe to see reason and the friend he used to know was now just a spoiled brat who was upset she wasn’t getting her way, causing him to lose any romantic attraction he had towards her if him blushing in the novel was any hint of him feeling anything toward her. 

Jesse does still care about Ashe, while Ashe threatens and demeans him, Jesse does make offers for them to just make peace and asks how BOB is doing, he wants things to be civil between them at the very least. Jesse does make jabs at Ashe but they’ve all been at how she’s a spoiled brat since it’s her way or no one’s way, he also teases her about how she clearly misses him and it’s probably him wanting her to admit it, hoping it would be an opening for him to help her get out of crime and they could be friends again.

I wanted to address this because I feel like some people would hear these voice lines and immediately blow things out of proportion, the backstory of these characters and who they knew and know now all play into the people they are. McCree is connected to these women and the way he talks to them can stem from his past with them, the love and respect for the people he knew, his morality or current feelings toward them. McCree has shown respect to so many female characters that it’s hard to see him as sexist at all.

[shadow--writer]

It she. Aaaa I spent all day yesterday drawing this and I’m so proud! (BACKGROUND IS NOT MINE BELONGS TO THE ARCANA GAME I AM TRASH AT BACKGROUNDS) Yes I know my art style is utter trash but oh well lol. I had tons of fun drawing her and I am so so proud of the celtic warpaint tattoos, they look so cool. Let me know if you’d like to see more art of her from me :3 

Also feel free to send in asks about her too! I’ve seen the apprentice asks around, so ask any questions (that I don’t answer here) in!! (please I’m begging you, I have created my own culture and stuff, let me talk lmao)

I’ll take spicy asks, but nothing too nsfw lol kinky asks? kinky asks. ;3! ^^. Oh and main LI shippy asks too! And fellow apprentices too if ya want!! (I said too twice aaa)

Just ask me about her and her family lol, that’s all I want. Thank you for the support I got when I brought this up, y’all are super sweet!!

Stuff about her below the cut since I ramble lmao.

Name: Maeve (pronounced MAYV, meaning entrancing or intoxicating)

Age: somewhere in her twenties lmfao

Height: 5′3 (160cm)

Pronouns: she/her

Sexuality: Bisexual 

Familiar: Egyptian fruit bat named Tehi (pronounced TAY-hi, meaning to gather/collect)

Birthday: October 31st

Family: Father - Caedmon (pronounced KAD-muhn, meaning wise warrior). Age 58

Older sister - Rhiannon (pronounced RH-an-on, meaning great queen). Age 30

Younger sister - Aislin (pronounced ASH-lin, meaning dream or vision). Age 22

Main LI: Julian Devorak (of course lmao. But she loves everyone so 👀)

Birthplace: Argyle (island a ways away. I could go in depth later, yes it’s based on the song it just fit). It’s Celtic.

Personality: outgoing, brash. She has the mouth of a sailor, and not afraid to pick fights. She’s very loud and out there. Very flirty too, and she will go through with things (if she says she’s gonna do something, flirting or not, she will do it). Not shy at all, she’ll do things that will even make Lucio blush. She doesn’t think a lot of things through, so she’s an adrenaline junkie. She’s daring and blunt. A woman of action and little words. She likes a challenge, and won’t back down from one. VERY stubborn. She’s sweet but covers it up with a hard personality (that cracks quickly), extrovert but she has her limits. Won’t take shit from anyone and will call people out. Very good with her mouth ;)

Hobbies: aerial silks, dancing, singing, trying to drink others under the table (she usually succeeds), baking (can’t cook to save her life for some reason. She blew up the kitchen once, but she would like to learn), causing mischief and mayhem (getting rowdy), stargazing, telling stories, just...having fun! She loves being dramatic with other people (making them laugh is a plus) so just show you have fun with her!

Interesting features: she has a streak of silver in her hair (a blessing from the Gods of her culture) and freckles that glow (a noticeable feature of her people). She also has Celtic warpaint tattoos, a coming of age ritual for the women along with (what she chose not do) joining the Huntresses

Fun facts: she has two sisters, she’s the middle child. She’s very good with kids (they like hearing her stories) and animals. Not so great with adult people with her erm...out there personality. She’s a night owl, connected to the moon and stars, but she does like napping and cuddling. 

Love language(s): touch, spending time with other people, getting help from other people.

[cosmicjoke]

Ash and others perception of him:

This is gonna get long, and I keep amending it, sorry.  It’s difficult for me to work out what I’m trying to say, but here it goes.

One of the things I find most interesting about Banana Fish is the recurring theme throughout of what the other characters think of and how they perceive Ash, and how, almost all of them to the letter are completely wrong.  All, of course, with the very notable exception of Eiji.

Almost everyone speaks about Ash as if he’s some sort of otherworldly being. They often use terms such as “devil” or “Satan”, or “demon”, or “angel” when talking about him.  This occurs with Dino, Yut-Lung, Blanca, Foxx, and any number of other characters.  Even Ash’s friends, like Shorter, Sing, Cain, and his gang, talk about him like he’s almost inhuman.  And, more important still, there seems to be an across the board notion between all of the former characters that Ash will eventually, one day, become like them.  That he’ll become a monster.  A “Prince of Darkness”.  There’s even a notion among readers/viewers of Banana Fish that seems to buy into this notion.  That without Eiji and his influence, Ash would eventually succumb to the dark side, as it were.

But I think it’s something a little different than that.  Because, deep down, that isn’t who Ash is.  It isn’t what he has inside him.  Ash never cared about money, or power, or control.  He never had the desire or wish to dominate people, the way all of his abusers wanted to dominate him, and control him.  Despite the perceptions and beliefs of all of these characters regarding him as this incredibly dangerous, wild beast, what Ash actually is, is just a young kid who’s been horrifically abused and who is struggling every moment of every day simply to survive.  And the only one who seems to ever really understand this about him, the only one who ever really sees this about him, is Eiji.  Eiji even has that moment of internal dialog where he’s talking about how Ash has had to put on this facade of an ice cold heart, but that he knows it’s only, in reality, a defense mechanism.  To keep himself from losing his mind.  To keep others away from him because he’s been repeatedly hurt and betrayed by everyone in his life, especially adults.  To simply keep himself alive.  Ash shuts down when he kills, not because he doesn’t feel anything, as he keeps accusing himself of, but because he feels too much.  The very act of killing is so horrific to him, he’s naturally so repulsed by it, that he’s had to learn to shut off his own emotions in order to simply survive.  We know that killing has always been a terrible thing in Ash’s mind from Dino’s own words, near the beginning of the story, when he’s talking to Ash, and he reminds him about how he used to always cry with every “job” Dino gave him.  One can easily infer from this that he’s talking about forcing Ash to take out hits on people, to kill people.  Ash cried about it then because he hadn’t yet learned to detach himself from the act for his own sanity.  Of course, as this continued, as Ash was made to do more and more terrible things to survive his own, horrific situation, it gradually and consistently eroded away at his own self-esteem, until we see how he regards himself throughout the course of the story.  His deep self-loathing and disgust at himself.  The tragic irony, of course, is that Ash’s own self-hatred is proof in itself of his good heart. He hates himself for killing because it’s always been something he understood to be bad, to be wrong.  He’s never had a problem understanding the nature of killing.  He’s never had difficulty understanding what it is, or what it means to to kill.  He’s never had a lack of empathy or sympathy.  He was never a sociopath, or a psychopath.  He doesn’t care what the reasons for it are, or that he’s justified in it.  It still tortures him, to know that he’s taken a life.  It haunts him and eats away at him in the worst ways.

Ash relaxes around Eiji, because Eiji is the only one who knows that Ash isn’t this wild, out of control, vicious animal that everyone else seems to think he is. He knows that the cold, frightening facade he puts up is just that.  A mask, used to protect himself and those he cares about.  And because he knows that about Ash, he treats him just like a regular boy, which is all Ash has ever wanted.

The thing about this notion that Ash would become like Dino, or Yut-Lung, or even Blanca if Eiji hadn’t come into his life is, I think, wrong.  Eiji doesn’t give Ash his humanity.  Eiji gives Ash a sense of normalcy and a sense of what it’s like to be treated like a normal kid.  He makes him feel human, because he treats him like he’s human.  But even before Ash really knows Eiji, we see how deeply he cares about and is willing to sacrifice for those he loves.  When he goes after Skip after he gets abducted, and willingly gives himself up to Arthur and Marvin.  We see he’s formed deep and loving connections to people, like Skip, and Shorter and of course his brother Griff.  We see him show genuine, anguished emotion over all of them when they’re killed.  He cared about them deeply, and it wrecked him when they died through their association with him. That isn’t the reaction of a monster.  That’s the reaction of a human being who’s lost someone they love.  It hurts him to his core.

We see him go out of his way to spare the members of his gang who moved against him by working for Dino, telling them to get lost instead of shooting them. He spared Arthur even, during their turf war, when he took over all of Arthur’s gangs.  All of those acts of mercy eventually came back to bite Ash, because all of those people then turned around and betrayed him and tried to kill him.  And that really informs the one moment in Banana Fish in which Ash’s morality seems to waver somewhat, when he’s taking out members of Arthur’s gang in systematic fashion.  Even during this point in the story, Ash gives those guys ever chance to save their own lives by telling his own gang to get the word out that if they skip town, no one will come after them.  Ash and his crew will leave them alone, as long as they don’t join forces with Arthur against him.  After that, those who fail to heed his warning or accept his leniency, yeah, Ash goes after them without mercy.  But that, again, ties back into what we see earlier, with how Ash’s previous acts of mercy towards Arthur and others resulted in the situation he then found himself in.  The fight he has with Eiji, when Ash screams at him that if he shows any of Arthur’s gang mercy, they’ll just kill him, is founded in Ash’s own, brutal experiences.  He knows that if he lets those guys go who beg for their lives, that they’ll just run back to Arthur, regroup, and attack Ash and his crew again, not only risking Ash’s life then, but those who have placed their trust in him as their leader.  Ash’s actions here, as harsh and merciless as they may seem, are actually based on his own past experiences and logic.  He isn’t killing Arthur’s gang because he wants to.  Or because he’s trying to gain power.  Or because he thinks it’s fun.  He’s doing it because past experience tells him if he doesn’t, him and those who follow him are going to pay the heavy price of their lives.  It’s not even really revenge for Shorter’s death.  It’s defense through offense, protecting the lives of himself and his gang because he’s been forced to take action by Arthur’s refusal to leave him alone.  Even then, Ash is willing and wants to simply fight Arthur one on one to end the war, so no one else has to die.  He’s willing and even expects to die himself in order to save the lives of not only his gang, but Arthur’s gang.  That shows a strong moral conscience.  That shows goodness of heart.  It’s only again when Arthur betrays him and has his entire crew try to gun Ash down in the subway that Ash kills the rest of them. That’s pure self-defense.

Beyond that point in the story, Ash, from beginning to end, constantly displays a deep and powerful moral conscience, constantly going out of his way to help others, and tries very, very hard never to hurt or kill anyone he doesn’t absolutely have to.  We see Ash consistently unable to turn away when someone he knows or cares about is in danger, like Max and Ibe when they get captured in the mental facility Ash had just fought tooth and nail to escape from, literally running back into the line of fire to rescue them, directly putting himself in danger in order to help them.  He’s constantly pushing other characters out of the way of gun fire, putting himself instead in the line of it.  That’s a knee jerk reaction.  It’s just what he does naturally.  The same as Eiji.  He’s constantly into firefights in order to lead others away to safety, sacrificing himself physically to rescue others, sacrificing his own privacy and mental well-being for the cause of others, when he tells Max to use the photo’s of him being molested as a child to spare the other kids who’ve been through the same thing.  Ash only kills either in self-defense, or in defense of those he loves and cares about.  Even in heat of the moment situations, like when members of Sing’s crew shoot Eiji and try to kill him and Ash, even when Ash seems to have lost it, repeatedly shooting their already dead bodies, when Lao comes at him with a gun, Ash doesn’t kill him. He has the presence of mind to simply shoot Lao in the hand.  He isn’t ever an out of control wild animal.  That’s just what people have made Ash believe about himself, which is one of the most tragic aspects about him.  That he’s been manipulated into seeing himself as a monster, when he never was.  When Lao screams “He’s not human, he’s a monster!”, Ash doesn’t even defend himself. He agrees with it, even though it’s so blatantly untrue.  That shows the ravages on Ash’s mental and emotional state from the abuse he’s suffered.  But even with all of that, he never became like those who abused him.  He never tried to hurt anyone who didn’t try to hurt him first.  By contrast, everyone who claims Ash is some sort of demon, everyone who claims him to be this inhuman monster, all themselves tried to hurt Ash and those he cared about when he himself had never done anything to them.  Ash never did anything to Dino, or Yut-Lung, or Foxx, or any of those people.  He never went after any of them until they went after him first, or those he cared for.  Even towards those who failed him so miserably and set him on the path he ended up on, like his father, Ash showed incredible compassion and care towards, despite the awful way James treated him.  When Ash had every right to hate him.  But he didn’t, and in fact was immensely distressed when James was shot.

As an example of how intrinsically Ash differs from the other characters who deem him a monster or a demon, I think comparing him to the character who most resembles him is a good case in point.  That of course is Yut-Lung.  Yut-Lung suffered his own horrific abuses and cruelties at the hands of the people who were meant to care for him, namely of course his brothers.  And understandably, he wanted and was justified in taking revenge on them for what they did to him and his mother.  But here’s where he and Ash diverge from each other.  Yut-Lung has in him a capacity for deep pettiness, jealousy, and resentment.  Failings which he acts on again and again throughout the course of the story, without hesitation, and failings which Ash himself never displays even the barest hint of, despite having suffered similar and even worse abuses in his life.  Yut-Lung tries with absolute commitment to kill Eiji, over and over, simply because he can’t bear the idea that somebody actually loves Ash.  He can’t bear to see Ash have even a little happiness, in a life of otherwise complete sadness and pain, because he himself doesn’t have it.  He can’t stand the idea that Ash might find “redemption” through love.  And so he tries with all of his considerable power to take it away from Ash.  It’s the definition of pettiness and cruelty, which is something Ash, even in his darkest moments, never showed a capacity for.  I don’t think Ash ever had it in him to be so ugly and unkind and vicious.  He can be manipulative, of course.  But he only ever used those manipulative abilities to defend himself and others.  He never used them to hurt anybody who hadn’t first hurt him or those he cared about, or at least tried.  He never tried to hurt someone simply because they had something he didn’t.  He never tried to take something away from someone simply because he didn’t have it too.  He never resented anyone for having a better life than him, or for having love when all he had was pain.  And therein lies the difference between someone like Ash and Yut-Lung, and it means everything.  

Ash sees himself as a monster because everyone’s always told him he is, those people projecting their own monstrosity and ugliness onto him.  Trying to twist him into what they are, trying to force him into a position where he has no choice but to do terrible things in order to survive.  They try to corrupt him because they themselves are corrupted and cruel.  But somehow, despite all the horror of Ash’s life, he never becomes like that.  He never loses that part of himself that recoils at violence and abuse, that agonizes over having to make the decisions he has to to survive.  He never becomes petty, or cruel, or hateful.  He never becomes unable to love.  Like Ibe says about him “He’s such a good kid.  He’s just such a good kid.”.  I think Ash is able to resist becoming like the monsters who abused him because he had in him an innate goodness.  I think Eiji could see that in him from the start, when everyone else could only see a savage animal, or a beautiful commodity.  It’s also why I think Eiji was so profoundly drawn to Ash, because he could see that goodness in him from the start, and why he had the opposite feeling and reaction toward Yut-Lung, because he saw the pettiness and cruelty in him.  It’s why there were so many people who deeply cared about Ash.  Eiji, and Max and Skip and Shorter, and Sing, and his entire gang, and Cain, and why someone like Yut-Lung didn’t really have anyone who cared about him, except I suppose Blanca and Sing to an extent, but not with nearly the level of real love and respect Ash garnered.  Not with nearly the same loyalty.  And that’s also why both Sing and Blanca sided with Ash eventually, against Yut-Lung. As deep a capacity for cruelty and petty envy as Yut-Lung had, Ash had an equal capacity for kindness and love.  He just doesn’t realize it about himself because he’s been manipulated into thinking the opposite, and because he was so savagely abused and put into such nightmarish circumstances, that he had to do awful things just to keep living.  And that’s a massive tragedy.  That Ash is the only one who won’t forgive himself for having to do the things he’s done, despite the very real and justified reasons for those actions, is further testament to the goodness in his heart.  Ash can’t and won’t give himself a break, can’t and won’t forgive himself for it, even as everyone around him tells him he should.  Because Ash always was and always would have been a good kid, with a good heart, who understood from the beginning the awful reality and seriousness of taking another life.  He understood that in a way Dino and Yut-Lung and even Blanca never did.  Those things were always going to weight him heavily down with awful, crushing guilt and remorse.  He hated himself for having done it, and saw himself as worthless because of it.  He was never what the others thought of him as.  He was never this “prince of darkness”, never this demon, or devil.  He was just a young boy trying desperately to survive.

It’s Eiji who sees that about Ash, where everyone else fails to.  Even Shorter doesn’t understand in the beginning of the story why Ash lets those guys go who tried to kill him.  Even Shorter, I don’t think, understands the toll that killing takes on Ash.  It’s Eiji, and only Eiji, who sees Ash for who he really is.  It’s why he’s the only one Ash can actually be himself around.  The only one who LETS Ash be himself.  Why it’s only around Eiji that we see Ash really able to genuinely smile, and relax, and let down his guard.  Because he knows Eiji isn’t going to try and make him into something he’s not, doesn’t see him as something he’s not, and isn’t going to try and get something from him.  Who isn’t going to try and control him, or mold him into what they want him to be, or what they think he should be.  He understands why Ash acts the way he does, why he does the things he does, and he doesn’t judge him or condemn him for it.  He accepts it, and tries to help Ash forgive himself and love himself.

Even without Eiji coming into his life, I don’t think Ash ever would have become like Dino, Yut-Lung, Foxx or Blanca.  I don’t think Ash ever had the capacity to become a monster like them.  His heart was always too big, and he always cared too much, felt too much, to become that.  What Eiji did give Ash, which Ash never had before, was the knowledge of what it is to be loved.  He gave Ash a sense of what it was to be treated like a human being, not an object to be admired, or a weapon to be used.  He acknowledged that Ash had feelings. That he had emotions and thoughts of his own.  He treated him like he MATTERED.  He didn’t make Ash human, because Ash was always human.  He didn’t give Ash morality, because Ash always had morality.  But he was the only one who saw those things about Ash, where everyone else failed to, even Ash himself. And because he could see that about Ash, he was the only one who ever made Ash feel like a normal boy.  The only one who ever made Ash feel like who he really was.  The only one who ever allowed Ash to BE who he really was.

[cartoonsliveon]

Captured

Ever since I saw the Impossi-bin episode, and how Donald was written as a “suspected traitor” on the white board, I couldn’t help but think about if F.O.W.L. ever captured any of the Duck fam. And if he captured Donald and Della, how that might just go... *shrugs*

“Ahhh! Della- Ow!!!”

“Hold still,” She snapped, grumbling softly under her breath, “You big baby.”

There was no real heat behind Donald’s glare as he watched his twin sister, only exhaustion... and a little bit of fear. Della continued to tie her scarf tightly around his arm, watching as the light blue fabric already began to darken.

“There,” Her hands hovered in the air awkwardly, she wasn’t sure what to do with them. Let them dangle at her sides or fold them in her lap? She isn’t entirely sure anymore. Donald isn’t looking at her anymore, finding the floor and his feet so much more interesting. The tips of her fingers are tinged red from his blood, and even though this isn’t the first time she’s had to patch her brother up, the sight of it makes her incredibly uneasy. A ball of anxiety makes its presence known to her again. 

And Della hates it. Because how in the world did they end up in this situation anyways? It’s a rhetorical question of course, she remembers the adventure clearly. The Stone of What Was, so tiny and unassuming. Louie and Dewey had looked down upon it, so entirely unimpressed with the simplicity of it. Uncle Scrooge tucking it into a satchel, which swayed with his hips and bounced with each jump. The chaos that surrounded the adventure and grew once they reached it. Della’s heart hammers as she reflects. F.O.W.L., in almost full force. The fighting, the lasers, Donald throwing himself at the giant rooster with the metal beak with so much force and rage.

Somewhere in the fighting, the cave’s structure began to deteriorate. Somewhere in it all, Donald and Della had gotten separated from Scrooge and the kids in the midst of keeping their family safe. And instead of finding Scrooge, and the kids, and returning home, they were here. In a cell.

“I wouldn’t do that if I were you.”

“What?” She looks up to see her brother giving her a very pointed, knowing look.

“You’re about to punch the wall. I wouldn’t do that if I were you.”

“No I wasn’t.”

“Yes you were,” Donald rolled his eyes, “You had that angry look on your face. The one you always make before you’re about to explode.”

“I did not.”

“Did too.”

“Did not.”

“Did-”

“Bickering like children, are we?”

If looks could kill, Bradford would have been nothing but ash and maybe a few smoking tail feathers. He met their gaze though, as if their combined anger was not a force to be feared or reckoned with. It was as though he were meeting the angry, unforgiving looks of two children than two adults. He can’t help but give them more than a brief once over though, because he’d seen these two grow up after all. Once upon a time, they’d been children just like the triplets and Webby. Up to nothing but trouble and mischief. He eyes the scarf wrapped around Donald’s arm, the bruises darkening along Della’s beak. The disarrayed feathers. 

“You aren’t going to get away with this, Scrooge is going to come for us,” Della demands, crossing her arms over her chest.

“You really believe that?”

It’s such a risky, wildcard thing to say. Bradford knows Donald and Della well. Not as well as Scrooge, but well enough to know that this could strike a chord with them, if done right. To his great surprise, not that he dares show it of course, identical looks of confusion spread across their faces. He sees Donald tense and shoot a side eye look at Della. 

Neither of them interrupt or argue, they’re surprisingly silent. He pushes on before the moment is lost.

“You vanished for ten years. You were on the Moon for ten years. The easiest place to look. The closest thing you could have crashed onto. He gave up on you when searches became a financial loss.”

“That’s a lie and you know it. You forced Uncle Scrooge to-”

“And he listened to me,” Bradford snapped back, “If he cared about you and truly, truly believed you were still out there, he wouldn’t have listened to me. If he loved you, he wouldn’t have let anything or anyone stop him.”

His gaze immediately turned to Donald, “No one even knew you were missing. Your month long cruise, spent as a prisoner on the Moon and then trapped on an island. You come back and he gives you nothing but grief and insults. No one even had the decency to try and tell you your sister was back the minute she showed up at the door. If Scrooge cared about you, he would have thought about you and your feelings. He would consider your input. Value your opinions.”

“You don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“Don’t I?” Bradford asks, “Did you know your brother raised the boys for ten years bouncing from job to job, sacrificing everything so they could have food on the table and clothes on their backs?  Would feel love and protected? He sheltered them. If Scrooge cared about either of you, wouldn’t he have done everything he could to make sure Donald had help? Support?”

“Or what about the way he manipulates you, Della, into doing what he wants without you realizing it? Instigating your competitiveness as siblings? ‘Isn’t there another strong duck you know who’s never lost a fight?’ ‘You mean Donald?’, he played you.”

Donald’s hands folded tightly into two shaking fists, the duck struggling to maintain eye contact with Bradford. Della felt nothing but cold fury start to fill her. She never doubted Uncle Scrooge, not his ability to constantly undermine and defeat his foes, not in his ability to think his way out of situations, not in his strength, and most definitely his love for them. But even now, even though she knows that their uncle loves them, she can’t help but feel something in her twist and squirm at Bradford’s words (possibly that very doubt she has never felt before? She refuses to give it a label). 

But she knows Donald doesn’t think the same way she does. His relationship with Scrooge has never been.... as smooth as hers. It’s full of bumps, pot holes, and steep turns. She doesn’t doubt Scrooge’s love for them. Donald doesn’t always feel that same confidence, not about himself. She stares at Bradford, wishing that there wasn’t a plexiglass wall between them. If Bradford is making this.... feeling.... bubble up in her, she can only imagine how much of a struggle it is for Donald to not let his insecurities get the better of him. To remain as impassive as possible. And for that she wants to strangle this good for nothing buzzard. 

Especially when she sees the way Bradford stares at Donald now. Not the two of them. Not at just her. But Donald.

“If he doesn’t wipe that smug look off your ugly beak,” Della growls, “I will. Uncle Scrooge loves us. He’s coming for us.”

“Is this really the way you want it all to end? Blindly following a man who has caused you so much grief?” Bradford tsks, ignoring Della.

“What do you want from us Bradford,” Donald’s voice is a heavy sigh, tired and resigned. He uncurls one fist, mainly to grab Della’s wrist. She doesn’t realize, until he strokes his thumb over her knuckles how tightly her own fists are clenched, “Why are you even here?”

“I want the same thing that you want,” Donald doesn’t like how that sounds at all. He doubts the buzzard truly wants what they do, “For all this chaos and madness to end. Your uncle is meddling with things he shouldn’t, and everyone else has to pay the consequences. He has to be stopped. Duckburg has dealt with enough chaos and madness. The world has dealt with enough. Hasn’t it been enough already? Haven’t you both suffered enough?”

Both twins give a snort as they chuckle, both of them raising identical eyebrows as they stare at Bradford. It makes a chill crawl up his spine. The way they do that, being able to act simultaneously in the littlest ways. So different and yet so identical. So similar. It’s chilling to anyone who isn’t used to it. Who doesn’t see it every day like Scrooge and his family. 

“If you honestly think that we’re just going to betray our family like that-” Donald can’t help but shake his head slightly at the idea as Della continues for him, “Then you’re dumber than Glomgold. And that’s saying something!”

“Nothing you say is going to change anything,” Della continued, “so you and your stupid lackeys can shove it up your-”

“Not even for the kids?”

Bradford couldn’t help but smirk a little wider when he saw Donald and Della stare at him in silence. The fear shining in their eyes. Perhaps he should have mentioned the children sooner. Perhaps he should have just led with that. But what fun would that have been? What sort of villain would he be if he didn’t make them squirm a little bit and drag up things neither of them wished to dwell on.

“They’re all so young,” Bradford shook his head, “Is this what you want for them? For them to run straight into danger and pay for Scrooge’s mistakes? Haven’t they already suffered enough?”

“Nothing bad has to happen to them,” Bradford reminded, “They don’t have to get hurt. They can grow up, safe, and normal. That was what you wanted, right Donald? For them to be safe? That’s why you cut all connection from Scrooge in the first place. I can make sure they don’t get caught in the crossfire. I can make sure none of my operatives harm a single feather on their head.”

“You’re bluffing,” Della snapped, “You-you’re lying!”

“What would I possibly gain from lying to the two of you?”

Neither Donald or Della had a response to that. And Donald hated it. He hated not having anything to say. He desperately wanted to fly into an angry rage and curse Bradford out in front of him. But he was filled with fear and this little voice, the same voice that told him to take the triplets and leave Scrooge ten years ago, fretting over the kids. What if Scrooge didn’t come for them? What if he did and wandered into the obvious trap waiting for him? What if the kids...?

“I’ll give you both some time to think about everything,” Bradford folded his hands behind his back, “I’m going to test that little theory of yours. If you’re so sure Scrooge will come, let’s see if he’ll be willing to make a trade.”

Bradford expected the two ducks to argue. To say that Scrooge wouldn’t give F.O.W.L. the Stone of What Was. That he’ll see through the trap. But they didn’t. Instead, Donald and Della turned to look at each other. And Bradford watched as they stared at one another, a silent conversation being communicated by the more subtle facial expressions. He turned, leaving them in silence until the door shut behind him.

Donald and Della stared at one another, simultaneously sighing as they let the situation fully seep in and try to mentally prepare themselves for the burden it is about to drop on them.

“Ah phooey,” They mutter together.

[thejudgingtrash]

You know those Estelle child of Poseidon/Neptune aus and such? I feel like those are just a more accepted version of the trend of oc Poseidon/Neptune kids. bc since now folks like to discount those ocs as cringe 2012 shit but now Estelle is a canon vehicle for Percy sibling dynamic funsies, people wanna project it on her instead bc ocs have been deemed cringe. Personally, I love both cringey ocs and demigod Estelle, but I can’t help but think that’s what’s happened, you know? Just random thought

No, I absolutely think it makes sense what you’re saying. I’m guilty of that “another sibling of Poseidon/Neptune” or “Estelle as a child of Poseidon” wave because it’s fun and a mostly harmless headcanon. Also, the fanfics we used to read back in those days? Rough, my friend, completely rough.

Personally, I do think that the way Estelle was brought up set her up to fail.

It’s just not believable to me that Percy would have a sibling all of a sudden. Not only that, but a sibling with an incredibly large age difference. Percy could technically be her father age wise. That much of an age difference. The minute Percy moves out they’d probably see each other realistically on birthdays and holidays, so not that often. That hinders a deep sibling bond (and Sally having a free babysitter I guess). What’s a college kid going to do with a kid that isn’t his? Hit up the clubs and leave her there? Nah.

Estelle is not a character, she’s a plot device which could be easily discarded. She’s nothing more than background information which doesn’t even bring that much to the plot. I have seen posts from bipercabeth, blackjacktheboss and others touch on that topic but I don’t really think people dove that much into Estelle and mostly made their points about Sally, which is fine and makes sense as the only true connection we have to Estelle as a “character” is through her mother.

Estelle’s essentially Riordan‘s OOC OCand completely unnecessary? There is no need for her. If you’d scratch her out of the PJO universe would that leave any sort of dent? No. Even that wacko and “Camp Jupiter’s version of Jeffree Star” Octavian has a larger significance (regardless whether you hate him or not) than Estelle. And yes, I do believe that many people use her as a projection punching bag. We don’t know anything about her apart from the fact that she Naruto ran out of Sally’s vajoochie, so there’s really not much essence to her, but there’s so much people could just pile onto her. I’m interested to see if there’s going to be a little bit more info about her in the Tower of Nero (or a standalone novel), but I doubt it.

I think the factor that Riordan as a white Christian male wanted to portray the fantasy of the perfect happy family that rose from the ashes comes into play. We’ve seen Sally and Percy growing up in disfunctioning partially abusive households which bonded them together as Riordan decided “as a making up gift” to give Sally a harmless husband for a change who she’s marrying after only two goddamn years (also here’s my old Paul rant for free if you’re interested!). The problem is - it’s so incredibly rushed and sidelined it really doesn’t make that much sense to me? Sally got barely any rest with Percy. He had a strong demigod scent which made monsters chase him since he had been a toddler and things only got worse once he became a pre-teen to a full blown teenager. Sally has been through hell and above and then her son goes missing and she’s pretty much getting pregnant around that time or a little bit after? I know people call Sally strong and all of that blablablabla. But... there’s no need to rush with further family planning in the context of the plot? Isn’t she like in her mid-thirties? So yeah, she could still pop out a kid or two, but damn sis. Relax for a bit, will ya? Cooch won’t run away.

Pregnancy, giving birth, babies and having/raising children is not as fun and sweet and cute as romanticized Hollywood movies are trying to sell you (and that’s coming from someone who actually likes kids). Screaming, all kinds of gross fluids, being tired and sore from giving birth, close childcare for the first two years and I don’t know what Paul’s family is looking like - Sally has no one apart from her adult son who is trying to manage his own life and wants to grow into adulthood. It could be overwhelming. While I don’t think money would be the issue it’s just that the bond between Percy and Estelle that would probably not be as close-knit as some people headcanon it. Especially if the former leaves for college.

The only way I could see Estelle work as a character would be if the Heroes of Olympus or the Trials of Apollo saga would be rewritten. It would make more sense if Estelle is a child of Poseidon/Neptune with no association to Percy. That would mean that one of the two series (or both) would have to be pushed further into the future as while Poseidon said/joked about unleashing his inner whore after The Last Olympian, it would still take a while (at least a decade) for Estelle to grow and move into either camp. That would automatically mean that Percy is an adult in his late twenties at the bare minimum (but we know Riordan, he refuses to age his characters and he refuses to dive into YA, which is his right, but trying a continuation with the same rules doesn’t always work out in your favor, Slicky Rick). Still means that there’s not much of a bond for Estelle and him. But it would make her appearance... more realistically?

Additionally, if people are against the thought of demigod!Estelle, they should be against Estelle entirely as a sibling because why are people thinking that Percy near her toddler ass wouldn't put her into danger? Unless there’s next to no sibling relationship of course. But that would be probably also not the way most people would love to paint the narration. Can’t please everyone. But please people. Try to enjoy your headcanons. They can be fun and nonsensical or on the more realistic side.

PS: Estelle’s also a kinda funky fugly name. I thought she was named after her maternal grandmother who was named Laura? Then again, could also be her paternal grandmother’s name but I don’t know?

[k-itsmaywriting]

AnS Fic Rec Bingo

A fic that got you involved in fandom: Drink Deep of Lethe by @sabraeal​ | T In short: it has everything I love about early Shirayuki, early Obi, and early Obiyuki. Two people, both on the run, meeting in the deep Wood and converging paths by pure chance. It’s such a fun read!! I first read this on Obiyuki Week 2016 and was just so inspired that I was like “man, I really want to write something for this event too” :D So that is how it got me involved in the fandom.

Made you laugh out loud: I Should’ve Met You Yesterday by @bubblesthemonsterartist | E First of all, I eat ‘Obi gets a support system kicking and screaming’ with a spoon. Second, and more specific to this bingo square, bb Aki is an agent of love and chaos and Obi has absolutely 0 game when it comes to Shirayuki. And it’s the cutest and funniest story!!! Things that made me laugh include: the entire chapter Obi and Aki meet Zen and Mitsuhide, “Here lies what was left of Obi’s game” scene, and Aki trying to get dada to kiss Shirayuki’s booboo, AND MUCH MORE.

Favourite trope reversal: An Earthly Knight by @claudeng80 | T I find fae stories really intriguing and interesting even though (or maybe even because) I know like, the bare minimum of background info. Like they’re just so cool and fun. ANYWAY, I loveddddd how even though Obi is Shirayuki’s guard, this fic is her trying to rescue him in a way only she can - with DETERMINATION and IMMENSE BRAVERY <3 A beautiful story.

Action-packed fight scene: The Moon, the Window, the Knife by @glitter-and-golden | G Over 2000 words and my breath was held the entire time. A super cool fic about Wistal castle being attacked by NINJAS which also means OBI BADASSERY :’D But also it’s not Obi if he doesn’t get hurt in the process and him and Shirayuki protecting each other, because we love that food. Delicious. 5 stars.

Gen fic: It’s a Difficult Conversation by @nebluus | T A DIFFICULT CONVERSATION IT WAS INDEED. For Ryuu, being barely a teen who has people he really looks up to, seeing those people hurt is rough. And for a healer, not being able to help them in the way he knows best is DOUBLEY ROUGH. But I just love that Shirayuki sits with him and explains this very hard stuff about trauma in the most compassionate and understanding way.

Canon divergent: i am become death by @bubblesthemonsterartist | M So in 2017 Bubbles and ISM decided to have an angst battle and the rest of us took a ton of collateral damage to the emotions like NYC at the end of an Avengers movie. In answering the question ‘what if Obi didn’t find Shirayuki in time during Tanbarun arc?’, Bubbles weaves this piece of Absolute Art and it’s just...amazing. Horrifies me in the best of ways.

Wept real tears: Nothing Was My Own (Before I Loved You) by @sabraeal | T Specifically, Making Good made me cry real tears. We love a good slow burn, especially that moment where one of them realises they’re in love with the other and just HOW important they are in their life. It’s beautiful and moving!! And also has fluffy AND funny Obiyuki moments that make me squeal. But also the entire WFB series is an AMAZING fic of everybody’s journey thru college and young adult lives and I think about it all the time.

FREE SPACE: The Most Versatile of Guards by @claudeng80​ | T A favourite of mine!!!!! :DD So many fun and cool adventure times with herbwitch!Shirayuki and shapeshifter!Obi and I loveddd the Mihaya interludes. The entire world is just so creative and seeing all the characters as different beings is so much fun. And their romance makes me SQUEEEEEEE.

Fav fanmade OC: I gotta give this one to Aki from I Should’ve Met You Yesterday. Number one precious bb with the MOST personality and he’s so much fun to read.

First AnS fic you read: The Automation Heart by @infinitelystrangemachinex | T The first chapter ALREADY had me wrecked. In general AND for this ship. I am also due for a reread. But I remember reading all the chapters that were published then in a single night just being like “oh my god this is so good. MOAR PLS” *clicks next chapter*

Favourite minor character: Garack Gazelt, particularly in The road to Clarines is gravel (M) by @codango​, (don’t go) making something out of nothing (T) by @sabraeal, and Dead Men Tell No Tales by @bubblesthemonsterartist (T) (the last which I need to go into the AO3 comments and yell about because OHHHH MY GOD). I always love seeing her. She’s badass and smart and amazing and every time I see her I go *heart eyes*

WIP: Damned by @ruleofexception​ | No rating ZOMBIES ARE SCARY BUT YOU KNOW WHAT’S ALSO SCARY??? BEING ALONE. AND HAVING YOUR FREEDOM TAKEN AWAY. But no really I love sooo many things about this fic, like the wonderful Found Family, tragic backstories and some amazing story arcs. I look forward to every time this updates.

Canon compliant: Knots by @krispy-kream | G ABSOLUTE FANDOM CLASSIC 10/10. I just love how it all starts as a game for him. Because why take it seriously when he can’t have her for real? AND THEN HE GOES OH SHIT, OH FUCK I’M IN TOO DEEP. And things just unfold wonderfully from there!!!!! Like it’s such a classic “Obi is wrecked and he is slowly losing it with how much he likes his Miss”.

One-shot: Life Eternal by @ruleofexception​ | No rating Devil!Obi and Angel!Shirayuki is just...THE MOST WONDERFUL OF CONCEPTS. And not only are they on opposite sides, working against each other to either make people’s lives better or worse, she becomes a literal devil’s GUARDIAN ANGEL. And that makes way for such an interesting story and I love its open end <3 It was a really fun fic!!

Rare pair: Cookies for Shikito (Shirayuki x Shikito) by @claudeng80​ | G PLS THIS FIC IS SO FLUFFY <3 <3 <3 They’re such a cute ship. Just two absolute cinnamon buns spending time together while Shirayuki makes cookies and Shikito PROTECCS. They’re so fluttery and adorable!!!!!!! I love it!!!!!!!!

AU you took a chance on and now love: Sic Semper Monstrum by @sabraeal​ | T I simply do not know many Things, including common source materials for AUs. Including Pacific Rim, which I still haven’t watched (but need to, PROBABLY) but I. LOVE. THIS. AU. The importance that is placed on intimacy and emotional connection with the entire concept of drifting and also just like, life in general??? I thoroughly enjoy (as always) the exploration of everyone’s thoughts and backstories and relationships and also psychologist!Shirayuki <3

Pre-canon: ashes in the mouth, char the tongue by @infinitelystrangemachinex | T Both a pre-canon (childhood friends) and future fic!! The summary explains it better than I could: “Obi finally takes Shirayuki back to Tanbarun, but she gets more than she bargained for.” This fic ruined me (in a good way) and kicked my heart out of my chest and it rolled into a gutter (in a good way) and I almost missed my tram stop the first time I read it because I was so wrapped up in it. It was a RIDE.

[bellatrixobsessed1]

From Chin To Yon Rah (Part 17)

She finds herself lingering at the outskirts of Wujing, in front of the burned husks of the village. Partially, she wants to drink in her pain, to bask in her hatred and let it fester nice and fresh for when she begins hunting her prey. Mostly she is there to begin just that. She will find traces of them, track them down and eradicate them one by one. Nevermind the possibility that she will destroy her soul doing it.

It is entirely vacant and with good reason; who would want to live on a street stained with the blood of their loved ones? Even a little over a month after the attack the air still smells of it. Smells of blood and traces of the fire. She is doubly sickened by the potent reminder of her past. Is this not what she had wanted--Earth Kingdom villages charred beyond recognition.

A fine ash has settled in the cracks in the pavement amid chunks of buildings and a scatter of charred bones. She finds herself a seat amid the burned skeletons and stares at them. Stares until there is nothing but seething and hatred. She studies them. Studies them until she can differentiate the males from the females, the children from the adults, and the adults.  And there are children, so many small bones. Some skeletons cling to one another. At the very least this indicates that they were dead before they were burned.

When her hatred reaches a near boiling point, she picks herself up and moves forward. She walks past the old festival grounds, past the old bridge--noting that it had been very much burned as well, and to Ojihara’s farm.

Her belly gives a flop as she sets foot onto the useless soil. She stands at the fence post, she can practically see Seukhyun leaning up against it, flashing her one of his smooth, charming smiles.

She can practically hear him commenting, “I think you might have a chance to out harvest me this year.”

And she might have had the field and everything in it not been reduced to ash. Nothing grows within the ashes. The house has been reduced to forerally smoldering rubble. At least the left have anyways. But the right side is growing concave as well. She decides to keep her distance should it decide to topple. Anyways, she knows what is inside; Ojihara. All alone. His son and granddaughter at her house. And she knows that it is for the best, even knowing that he’d be soon to follow, Ojihara wouldn’t have been able to bare watching his son and granddaughter die. He would have been shamed knowing that he had let it happen.

She is shamed knowing that she let her husband and sons die. She is Azula. She should have been more powerful than that.

Her hatred reaches a new height.

And it only seems to swell as she grows nearer to her former home. She stands before the doorway and she feels nauseous. Absolutely nauseous. Really, she ought to turn back. Dimly she is aware that she is only hurting herself. She thinks that she might be addicted to the suffering. She has been ruminating on it since it had been inflicted upon her.

She pushes the door open and invites more of it in. When the smell hits her she caves into the nausea. She finds herself on her hands and knees, tears stinging in her eyes. A second wave hits when she realizes that her hands are pressing into dried blood. Her own. Where it had collected after the soldier had slashed her throat and belly.

She isn’t certain of how long she does, but she lays there shuddering and fight to control her breathing. She hears a clamor in her head; the rush of fire, the sounds of swords being drawn, of furniture being disarrayed, of screaming…

She shouldn’t do it, but she does. Eventually she crawls her way over to Hajime and Atsu. The rage she expects to feel amplifies but is swept away all the same by an overwhelming urge to just lay there with them until she withers away. She comes to find that there is only so much that she can take before her mind shuts itself down.

She finds herself back on the outskirts of town, she doesn’t remember how she got there. There is only a faint hum, a blurry tingle in her mind. A tiredness. A deep loathing. A deeper sorrow.

She carries herself back to Chin.

That day she learns that she cannot escape her past no matter how far she runs. No matter how long she runs. It is always there. It will always be there. She learns that her mind is so terribly fragile.

.oOo.

She is itching to say something, he knows that she is. He just isn’t sure what and he isn’t sure that he should ask. Instead he watches her wander about the palace garden. He decides to ask a different question instead, “what are you planting anyways?”

“Turnips.”

“Do you even like turnips?”

She thinks for a moment. “That depends.”

He furrows his brows. Either you like a food or you don’t, at least that has been his experience with it. “What do you mean?”

“They taste horrid but…” she purses her lips and rubs them together. “But the scent of them is familiar. I like how they smell.”

Sokka nods, he hadn’t thought of it like that. And then he remembers. He doesn’t say it, but he remembers. He recalls her journal and her mentioning the old man and his turnip farm. “Can I help?”

Azula hands him a trowel. Truth be told, he hadn’t realized that she even knew the difference between a trowel and a regular shovel. Yet she had used it rather efficiently, smoothing and patting the dirt over the seed she had just planted.

She only has the one so they take turns planting each seed until Azula is satisfied that they have planted enough. She stands up and half-smacks, half-rubs her hands together until most of the dirt has been cleared of them.

She seems pleased, perhaps even happy. He smiles too. It seems as though she has found at least one healthy outlet for her pain. She tosses a glance over her shoulder and catches him staring. He flushes.

At the very least, she pretends like she hadn’t noticed.

.oOo.

“I haven’t had a chance to do that in a while.” She notes. She holds her hand in front of her, inspecting her nails. They haven’t been so dirty in months. She can’t imagine that her serving girls are going to be all too pleased. Although, it might come as a comfort to them to know that she can respect the sort of work that a palace gardener does.

“Does it make you feel better?” He asks.

Azula nods, “quite.”

“That’s good to hear.”

“Yes.” She nods. “I will have to get my nails cleaned.”

He laughs, “right away?”

She tilts her head, “preferably, yes.” She now has the opportunity to be perfectly clean after gardening, she doesn’t see the harm in not wasting it. “I like to be clean.” She thinks that Ojihara might have rolled his eyes at that, but she had always had a habit of getting him to do that anyhow.

She tries to fend off the wave of sadness that comes over her. It is the same one that his been threatening to pull her under all day. She glances at Sokka. “Go ahead. Ask.” She mutters. “I know that you want to…”

He inhales sharply and melodramatically, “what’s bothering you?”

“I was thinking about Ojihara…”

“The turnip grandpa?”

Azula roll her eyes, “the turnip grandpa.”

“Okay.”

“And I have been thinking about how I never got a chance to tell Hajime my real name.”

.oOo.

Sokka cringes to himself. Somehow he has been under the impression that she had told him. Though he isn’t quite connecting the dots. “What does that have to do with turnip grandpa?”

She goes quite again for quite a while. “Ojihara used to think that it was...humorous that I didn’t like to get my hands dirty. He didn’t know that I’m…” she gestures to the palace. She looks back at her nails, at the dirt beneath them. “I can just go and clean them at my leisure. Before going to Wujing there was never dirt under my nails. He didn’t know that. Hajime didn’t know that.” She pauses. “Or they might have, but they didn’t know why.”

“And so being able to utilize the spa reminds you of how you never got the chance to tell them where you come from?”

She nods. “I was already thinking about that this morning. And now I am thinking about it more.”

Sokka nods. “That bothers you?”

“Alot.” She replies. “I don’t think that Hajime would have...loved me if he knew. He said that he would have, but that’s because he didn’t know what he was promising to cherish.”

“Who.”

“Huh?”

“Who he was promising to cherish.”

Azula half smiles. “Regardless of word choice, my point still stands.”

“I think that he would have.” Sokka declares with a smile of his own. “If he loved you for what you are now then I think that he would have been able to handle hearing about the past. I would have still loved you.”

.oOo.

“You would have?”

“Sure!”

She isn’t quite sure why it makes her feel better to know that. Perhaps because he reminds her of Hajime in many ways. Still, she has to ask, “why?”

Sokka furrows his brows. “What do you mean, why? You’re bold and fun and I’ve never met anyone like you. I bet that Hajime would have felt the same way. And I know your history, part of it anyways, I was there for part of it. I still lo-like you.” He smiles again.

She clears her throat, “that’s the other thing.” His face is flushing, his slip up is not lost on her but she isn’t ready to address it yet. “I...there’s a part of me that was hoping that he would have fought with me over it.”

He crinkles his brows. “Why would you want that?”

“Because it was so perfect, Sokka. We never fought, not once. I know that if we’d been together long enough that we would have eventually. I wanted to know what that was like. To fight with someone…” She wanted, perhaps still wants, to know what it is like to make up after a fight, to feel that special sort of relief that comes with the end of an argument. “To fight with someone and know that they’d still stick around. Hajime would have.”

“That actually...it makes a lot of sense.”

She swallows. “It does?”

He nods. “It’s reassuring to know that you can get someone so mad and they’ll still care about you so much. Like how me and Katara are sometimes. She’s pretty much the worst but she’s also the best?”

“I thought that I was the worst?”

“But you’re also the best.” He nudges her. His face grows serious again. “And that’s why I think that you will have that fight one day.” He stuffs his hands into his pockets. “Sorry, I’m not exactly good at the words thing and comforting people. Katara says I’m ‘insensitive’.”

She shrugs. She can’t imagine that he is any more insensitive than she. Really it was a comfort enough just to hear that isn’t strange to have wanted a fight.  “You don’t have to say anything. Sometimes I just want someone to listen.”

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #420

lol blaze it (i’m funny i swear)

In your opinion, which fast food place has the best fries? Without a doubt, Bojangle's. Good. Shit. Are there hurricanes where you live? Yeah, they're common here. What do you hate the most about yourself? I'd really rather not get into this right about now. What song are you listening to right now? "Beast of Gévaudan" by Powerwolf. What was your first concert? Alice Cooper. Also my only concert. What’s your favorite Johnny Depp movie? Alice In Wonderland. Who did you last say “I love you” to? My sister. Do you like pumpkin pie? Anything pumpkin-flavored is a hell no from me. Do you know anyone named Austin? Knew, rather. Do you know anyone who is having a baby? My friend recently announced she and her husband are having their second child in December. What was the last thing you cried about? Just PTSD. Do you prefer regular or chocolate milk? I like both, but I prefer chocolate. Do you think you are an argumentative person? Definitely not. How many deep dark secrets do you have? Two or so, idk. What was the spiciest thing you’ve ever eaten? Some wings at Buffalo Wild Wings with one of the hottest sauces. Wanted to die. ... Yet I continued to get that one whenever I went for years lmao. Who last called you sexy? I don't know. Would you class yourself as a good role model? In some ways, but in a lot of other ways, no. Are you scared of the dark? No. Do you have a motto? No. Who did you last see on webcam? The doctor that overlooks my TMS progress. Do you need a haircut? I need a trim for sure. How would you react if your mother told you that she was pregnant again? Well, considering 1.) she's way past menopause and especially 2.) she's had a complete hysterectomy, y'know... that's kind of impossible. She also hasn't been with a guy in many years, so she would have to be joking. You log into Facebook and see the red ‘1’ notification next to the message icon. Who do you want it to be? -___- Would you rather exercise alone or with other people? ALONE. You will NOT see me exercise in front of other people. What is the most difficult or involved video game you’ve ever played? The most involved is DEFINITELY World of Warcraft, and I guess you could consider it the hardest too, given some of the much more difficult things I've done in it. It itself isn't a hard game whatsoever, but you can pursue some really hard achievements. Ever watch the show Supernatural? If you have, then what’s your favorite episode? I used to love it, but just stopped watching eventually. My fave episode... Man, it's been too long to remember many. Probably one of the funnier ones. I remember I specifically liked the bit where they were in your everyday comedy show, as well as the one where I THINK Dean kept trying to prevent Sam from dying. I just remember the "Eye of the Tiger" bit that is pure gold. Ever heard of flavored honey? If so, what’s you’re favorite flavor? Oh, no, but that sounds good. Do you remember what your favorite show was when you were little? Yeah, Pokemon. Do you put anything besides cheese on grilled cheese sandwiches? Besides butter, which I think is pretty standard, no. When it comes to books, what do you think is the “perfect” amount of pages? Uh, I dunno. It depends on the book. I don't really care about page numbers. Would you ever be interested in going scuba diving? Yeah. Out of all of your friends/relatives, who would you say has the best vocabulary? Girt, probably. Are any of your fingers or toes deformed? What about the nails? I don't think so? When is the last time you cried? I was sobbing earlier today, fun stuff. Would you ever date somebody that has been divorced more than once? Most likely not. ESPECIALLY at my age. What are some stereotypically nerdy things that you like? Oh god. WoW, M:tG, big glasses, anime (does that count? idk really), video games... a lot of stuff, really. Have you ever attended a wedding that ended where the bride and groom didn’t actually get married? What happened? Y I K E S, no. That would be SO uncomf. What scares you the most about becoming a mother (hypothetically, if you don’t want to have children)? Actually raising it properly, physically and emotionally. Would you ever want a job in fashion? What would you enjoy about that type of job? No. Would you ever be a surrogate mother? No. What do you think would be the best and worst parts about being a twin? It'd be cool to have someone you feel an almost supernatural connection towards, but I'd also feel like I wasn't as "original" as I would be if I was born alone. Do you feel that your childhood was more rough compared to others around you? I mean it wasn't awful at all, but sure, in some ways compared to at least someone. How would you react if you found out today that you were actually adopted? Well today I'm a wreck, so don't tell me. I want to know that I wasn't lied to for 25 years. Have either of your parents ever cheated on one another before, that you know of? How would you react if you found out today that one of them cheated? I'm not entirely clear on this, but I'm 90% sure Dad cheated on Mom with his now-wife. Dad also accused Mom of cheating, but I HIGHLY doubt that's true. Do you like cleaning and organizing? Not really. How would you react if you found out you were infertile? If you don’t plan on having kids to begin with, what is a long-term goal you’d be crushed to find out was impossible to achieve? Fuck having kids. I'd be a terrible mother. So to answer the other question, I'll be pretty, pretty sad if I can't get permission to spread Teddy's ashes at Yellowstone. Would you take your dream job if it were out of the country? Well, obviously not considering my dream job is a meerkat biologist, and I'm not moving to Africa. Have you ever been robbed? No. Is anyone close to you an alcoholic? Not anymore. Dad was, but he's recovered. Have you ever dumped anyone? Yes. What kind of tea do you drink? I hate tea. Do you know anyone in a gang? No, and I hope I never do. What’s the sweetest thing anyone has ever done for you? Risk his fucking sanity and health to try to hold my fucked up self up. What is your orientation? Gay? Straight? Metrosexual? Anything other? Bisexual. I've kinda been questioning pansexual of the late, though. I don't know. Have you ever done anything really dangerous or illegal with friends? Not to my memory. Name three feelings you’re feeling right now: Regret. Hopelessness. Loneliness. And the reasons for these feelings? Take a wild fuckin' guess. How do you feel about your life right now? It's an actual dumpster fire. Is it easy for you to like yourself? Why or why not? Fuck no. Because there's just not very much TO like about me. Even on my good days, I see flaw after flaw in myself. What subjects come naturally to you? English, some aspects of science. What subjects do not? Math, economics, politics, history... Do you read more fiction or more non-fiction books? Definitely fiction. When I read a book, I want an escape from the real world. How has today been for you? BOY HOWDY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! What did you do? Went to TMS therapy. Sat on the Internet. Cried. :^) Are there any candles lit in the room you’re in? No. Are there any lava lamps near you? No. I want one, though. Do you like cats or dogs better? Cats. Are any of your friends a pothead? Yes. What’s a goal you’re trying to accomplish soon? Start losing weight again. That'd be pretty goddamn grand. Are you a high maintenance person? Definitely not. The last time you yelled as loud as you could, what was the reason? I was having a nightmare. Have you ever been heartbroken? For sure. Who did that to you? First Dad, then Jason. Did you go through an ugly stage as a kid? Boy, did I. The last type of sandwich you made or ate: A pb&j. The last time you spent most of the day in bed: Literally every day. I do just about everything in bed. Pathetic, I know. The last friend or acquaintance you made: Ummmm idk. The last thing you took pictures of: A hydrangea bush. The last time you were scared: Now. The future is terrifying, my friend. The last thing you looked up online: The definition of a word to ensure I was using it correctly. The last thing you disagreed with: So I've been watching John Wolfe's old stream of him playing Alice: Madness Returns, and he went on a total soapbox about smoking being okay essentially because we're all gonna die eventually from something, and I really disagreed with it. Does your house have a separate laundry room? No, just like a closet. Do your parents still help you financially? I'm still entirely dependent on them. Does your car have a backup camera? No. Have either of your parents ever been in trouble with the law? Not to my knowledge. Have you ever had a pet that lived to be really old for its breed/species? REALLY old, no. Teddy was definitely up there, but beagles have lived longer. What was the last strong scent you smelled? Lysol. Have you ever told someone to their face that they were ugly? Christ, no. Is your bed against more than one of your walls? No. Have you ever been attracted to someone’s parent? Don't think so? Have you ever pole danced before? No. Have you ever broken into someone’s house? No. Have you ever seen a live bat? Yes. What is the most amount of money you’ve spent on a meal before? I dunno. Have you ever taken a woodshop class? No. How much time do you spend on Facebook, if you have one? Funny you ask, because as of today I decided to take a break from it for awhile. I've found it's nothing more than a breeding ground for envy and making me feel like a horribly incompetent adult. Has a teacher ever made you hate yourself/your work? I had one photography teacher in college that I was NOT a fan of. He was super, super hard on everyone, like to an unnecessary degree. We were students, not pros. Have you ever been on the barrier or front row at a concert? No. Are your parents supportive of you? Somehow.