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your careers are temporary. archive of our own is forever

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Edwin in his disguise: Good thinking Crystal

Crystal: Thanks, mom

Edwin: .... 😶

Crystal: 😳 SHUT THE FUCKUP! NOT A WORD!

Charles, also in his disguise: OY! Don't talk to your mother like that!

Crystal: [SCREAMING]

Edwin: I...

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Y'all should watch Dead Boy Detectives:

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just a charles gif. for reasons. ✨

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Charles, all muddled up after Edwin’s confession, somehow gets the idea to kiss Edwin’s hands. Because that’s not really a romantic kiss (or a… a sexual one), right? You can kiss, like, kings, or noble ladies, or whatever, on the hand, and it’s just chivalry. So it’s a great compromise! He can give Edwin something without leading him on or anything like that. He’s pretty chuffed with the genius of the idea, really.

So he starts lifting Edwin’s knuckles to his lips when they’re standing next to each other, sometimes not even bothering to look over, just reaching out for Edwin’s hand and finding it unerringly like they’re magnets and raising it to brush his lips against it. And whenever they have to separate, he leans down as he leaves and presses a flutter of a kiss to the back of Edwin’s hand. And when Edwin holds out an imperious palm to be given something from the backpack Charles catches it with a kiss as he passes the thing over.

One time when Edwin’s got an iron burn on his hand in the place Charles normally goes for, he flips the hand over and kisses against the lifeline instead, feeling the crease against his lower lip, but Edwin makes a very strange sound so he doesn’t do that again, just sticks to the back.

Meanwhile, if poor Edwin has to see Charles’s arching back bending down over his hand one more time, feel those absurdly soft lips on his skin one more damn time, he’s going to fucking melt into a puddle like the Wicked Witch of the West.

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MY FAVORITE PEOPLE ❤️❤️❤️

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Edwin- If Charles thinks he can just call me baby and get whatever he wants- Charles - baby... Edwin, out of breath - ......he's absolutely right

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Happy new year! 🎇

- Charles and Edwin

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the case of the polish subtitles detectives 1/?

hello dbda folks, you're not gonna believe this.

so, the attic scene, in which we all agreed charles was vaguely flirting with that "it's stupid, but i think i'd miss kissing. do you miss kissing?" line.

wait until you find out what he says in the official netflix polish version, because this is insane

sorry for the last screen my hands were shaking.

do you. do you know how this translates directly.

charles says "it's stupid but... i miss kissing."

just walk this out with me. they've changed the "would" from a transition form of the modal verb "will" and said it in present tense. the most present there is. he's not thinking about being a ghost and not having senses. he says i miss kissing, right now to edwin, looking at him shyly and smiling.

do not even get me started on the profound meaning of the word "brakuje mi [czegoś]", which etymologically could be translated to "i lack [something.]" it's missing something with a slight emphasis on the emptiness that creates itself in you, not the longing. personally i'd say it's more urgent than, for example, "tęsknić" [to miss something in the wistful sense].

but that's not all, no sire, because polish subtitles charles, the bi-king of all come ons who's really trying to score here, adds unashamedly, "and do you?"

(in context: and do you miss kissing right now?)

mic drop. edwin pursing his lips awkwardly looks like he's just turning him down. for now.

anyways! there are more scenes like this and you're so not ready for the confession scene which is going to properly blow your mind, but that's for later, i need to lay down.

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Payneland is 40th on AO3 Ship Stats 2024!!!!

Good job everyone! Super proud of our little fandom!

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Edwin and Charles have kissed each other every New Year’s since 2000; not kiss kisses but quick pecks against the temple because they had no one else to kiss, and they were together, and there were fireworks in the sky, and… and it just felt the thing to do.

The New Year’s of 2025, fireworks rise over London and Charles leans forward for Edwin to press his lips against the sensitive hollow of his temple for a split-second as he has done twenty-five times before - and he doesn’t. He just gazes up at the sky, lights reflected in his eyes.

And, Charles realizes, it hurts. It’s agonizing.

He has spent months failing to understand something that he now manages to figure out before 12:00 switches to 12:01.

The thuds of the fireworks match the thudding of his non-existent heart, and he watches them bloom in Edwin’s eyes as he leans in.

It’s still midnight when his lips meet Edwin’s, and he has one moment to think, half-hysterically, I always thought the fireworks were meant to be metaphorical, before all his thoughts are lost to a blissful haze that champagne could never match.

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Charles really said, "Hi, I just met you. And this is crazy! But here's my entire soul, my eternal love and unimaginable devotion"

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Edwin makes the mistake of reading A Christmas Carol to Charles, who tries to convince him into haunting their local rich people while pretending to be the Ghosts of Christmas Past, Present and Future

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Im convinced that if Crystal had told Charles about the pink clouds she saw around Niko the first time she saw her it would not have changed a single thing plot wise because Charles would have been like “yeah and I thought Edwin was an angel with a halo” and just moved on with his day

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Someone: Damn you're uptight. Maybe if you got laid you'd be less annoying.

Edwin, who has gotten railed almost every day for the past 30 odd years: I assure you that is not the issue. I simply am annoying.