#i like to register what i've been doing | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

martellspear · 8 months

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writing process/progress:

— i've outlined 30 chapters (most of them very short) for familiar faces, 31 if you count the prologue, but i am still not sure if i liked how it turned out

— by doing that i also got to work on most of the characters and finally got around to creating a betrayal plot i've always wanted to write😋

— i am still not sure about the name tho. i like "familiar faces" but at the same time i feel like it could be better (?). but it is a reference to the quote that inspired this whole thing so it's probably going to be it

— if i don't change things, it's going to be a 6 part story:

I: stories of old

II: promises in tales yet to be spoken

III: beneath the smooth, familiar face of things

IV: reflection on the abyss

V: to tear the world in two

VI: no morning glory

— on a side note: i am really excited to explore the magical aspect of the story

#writing diary #i like to register what i've been doing #familiar faces

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penn-dragon · 1 year

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Kyoko still regularly visits the Corn clearing because it's her happy place, and early into the production Ren goes to visit the spot for nostalgia and happy memories. They run into each other there and Ren immediately realizes who she is

#skip beat #kyoko mogami #ren tsuruga #kyoren #never left kyoto au #I think he kind of knew already in the back of his mind but didnt really register it until they meet in the forest #a big part of the fun of this au for me is imagining what their reunion would have been like if they hadn't gotten off on the wrong foot #like they do in the manga #because even after he finds out his distaste for her motivations and her consequent grudge against him color their interactions for a while #(I also think she unintentionally triggered his trauma when they first met which is why he reacted so strongly to her but thats a rant for #another day)#he's just so so so so so drawn to her while also desperately wanting to keep his distance #but it's hard when he feels like he's suddenly back in his most precious memories #and kyoko is so charmed by him #platonically (at first)#she connects to people so quickly and the only reason she disliked Ren for so long was because he was mean to her hgkdfjdk #and I don't think 30 year old kyoko would have the same 'i hate who Sho hates' mentality 16yo kyoko did bc thats just how teenagers are lol #anyway i've ranted long enough I think about them so much

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bunnihearted · 9 months

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funny that therapists whose job it is to listen to u are the WORST listeners in society lmaooooooo. they dont hear a single word u say. they genuinely dont care abt what u say at all, they're just gnna take what theyve read in some textbook and apply it on to u. whatever u say you're not a person speaking words, your just a box filled with their judgements and pre constructed notions abt whatever diagnosis theyve assigned to u. therapists and psychiatrists are the most useless and incompetent ppl in society lmao. such a fkn joke it's insane how theyre even allowed to get paid for the shit quality job they perform ._.

#im not even convinced they process or register anything i say #also do they even have an education.....?#i've tried bringing up my depersonalization experiences and they just sit there like blank pages #and look at me like I AM THE WEIRD ONE!!!!!! u have gone to school for it yet i am familiar w more concepts than u?!?!??????#they dont even know what DEPERSONALIZATION or derealization or any of that is!!!!!!!!!#they just look at me w a bored dead look in their eyes and say yeah u are depressed #i've even been called WEIRD!! by therapists!!!!!!!!!!!#i now know that it was avpd behaviors but when i didnt know and i talked abt it w therapists #they scrunched their eyebrows and got frustrated w me for not just having social anxiety so i could be easy to deal e #and they were like 'uh huh thats strange' ?!?!!????#that made it SO much harder to talk in therapy bc now i just constantly overthink every single thing i say and wonder if theyre gonna call #me weird. like idk i just rlly... hate therapists. i hate them so much #and psychiatrists? 🤢🤮 they look at u like a lab rat or a statistic or an annoyance #they dont give a single fuck abt u. they arent even competent enough to help u!!!#like idk maybe u have to be rich and buy quality care but every single one of them i have met have been utterly worthless #rndz

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vilevampire · 7 months

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I'm hyperfixating on viewtiful joe again btw

#I forgot to make this statement sooner #y'know. just to keep it registered. so I can look back on it in the future #I think it's been a week or two since I've been hyperfixating officially #realistically it's probably been a bit longer but I didn't REALIZE that I was hyperfixating again yet #my theory is that the viewtiful joe side of my brain saw that qsmp surpassed its record #for media I spent the most time hyperfixated on #and it was just like #naaurrr #and it forced a vj resurgence on me #I'm not really SURPRISED . I've already accepted that my obsession w/ viewtiful joe is like a lifetime thing #but I'm just kinda like 'fucking god damn it not again'#anyway yeah ummmm dunno what this means for me bc like #I do not want to go back to the sad life that I lived when I was really into viewtiful joe #and I would spend hours making art just to post it and get 2 likes from my friends #so I dunno what I'm gonna do #I'll probably still be in the qsmp fandom tbh #or rather. I'm in the tazercraft fandom at this point #for the qsmp as a whole I guess I'm not that into it anymore #still love tazercraft thou :3 #lucasings

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icantalk710 · 7 months

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🤔

#i was walking to get a haircut earlier and i'm pretty sure i saw the guy i went on a date with back in June #i think we made eye contact and he was mouthing something? couldnt tell what or if it was a hi...#i was kinda in my own world with music and being on the phone so since i wasn't expecting to see him it took a min to register lol #walked up the block some thinking 'that was just Taylor right?' then turned around but dont think he did #it was one date but it was a really nice one and i've thought about him here/there #he wanted us to still be friends and i said i'd like that but he hasnt reached out--tho i did see him viewing my IG story recently #wondering if i should message him wondering if it actually was him but hmmm... iunno lol #has been kind of on mind since though #ore no inochi #reminds me i probably should get back to rewatching cardcaptor sakura which he got me doing lol #but for us now living in the same neighborhood for about 6 months i'm surprised we've only now possibly bumped into each other lil #*lol #[...i don't think i ever ate the ben & jerrys ice cream i bought at a bodega with him lol]

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staryarn · 2 months

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Forgot to post this here

#ive been busy and ill be busier #i was accepted yesterday and I've done all my prep except for registering for classes #tried to do it myself and the website was a maze so. I made an appt in aug to see an advisor to help me with it #shiko speaks #i still sont know how to drive so. ill literally have to do that in like. thanksgiving or some shit #tbf its online school so theoretically like. i could do what i did for one Thanksgiving which was like #do all of my weeks classwork in three days and then get really really sick and have free time #tbf it said 2-3 hrs kf class per day and 1 hr of break so. its fine. i think

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dredshirtroberts · 5 months

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finally tackled the absolute mountain of laundry in various states of cleanliness around my room. now all of it is sorted and put into its respective zones of "away".

#98% of my room being clean with visible floorspace is just finally handling the laundry #i am ashamed and embarrassed that i always have so much dirty laundry #eventually i'll get back to the point i was at when i was the coach of laundry where i'll have like a week's worth of shit to get done #and not a backlog of several months #eventually #and i will be working on not feeling so much shame about the state of my laundry #i don't *like* that i do it but there's nothing inherently immoral about it like the voice of my mother that shouts in my brain thinks #the put away laundry plus the effort i've been making to Make My Bed before sitting in it has helped me feel more settled in the space #so that's good #when i am not as concerned about blocking the various registers in my room i will be in business #(mattress on the floor only fits in one specific corner right by the intake)#(output register is awkwardly directly in the middle of the opposite side of the room which makes arranging the furniture where i'd like it #an interesting endeavor that i'm not super excited in attempting to orchestrate in the future)#i know where i'd *like* things to go #whether or not that'll actually be feasible is another story #also i think i'm going to have to just go through my clothes with the mindset of actually getting rid of things #i threw out a couple pairs of socks because they were worn so thin i'm not sure mending would have fixed the holes #like that that point i'm making a whole new sock and you know what i could do instead? not do that #i also have a lot of Baggage Items i haven't quite gotten around to divesting myself of #(as in the items of clothing have a lot of emotional baggage tied to them that i may or may not be using to negative effect on myself)#lots of old shit lots of things that don't fit lots of things i don't even like actually #but it was free or nearly so and i've just held onto it because free #only a few things are kept because i like wearing them and the texture is nice #so we'll just. go through some stuff and eventually i'll get to the point that even if *all* of my clothes are dirty and on the floor #it doesn't take up my WHOLE goddamn room #that said this has in fact been a problem my whole life and so i don't imagine it's going to be quick or easy to fix lol

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cappucosmico · 3 months

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also i'm planning on making a discord server to just unceremoniously dump all my willing friends into so that you can all sniff eachother through the door. i was gonna do that months ago but i got Erm. Distracted. looks over atthe 2 months of 6 cat householdery scared

#but Don't be surprised if i love you so much and i send you an invite in the near future. i need to have all my friends close by...#now that i am mostly trekking into the wild. of neocities #i've been looking at some forums too tbf : ) i just got on melonland And also mmocentral #that used to be the toontown central forums... that was the first place i ever Existed In online #i had to ask in the irc chat what 'ty' meant. I signed up with my auntie's email #but soon learned she was Too attentive bc i got mean on the forum As you do when you're a bitchy kid #and she said bethann. have you been being mean online. and i said. No. like a LIAR #so when i got banned the first time I registered the next time with michael's email. 💀#also i've been using my cohost more often again. i still come here to spout random nonsense on my mind though #cohost just doesn't feel right to do that on. nor does my neocities or pillowfort or anything #Tumblr tags are where your word vomit is just Meant to go.

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bsaka7 · 3 months

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HELLO??????

#this does explain why i was so fucking winded like the last mile and a half... It's because I was running fucking 9:40s #And my heart rate was like sitting at 180!!!#This was an INSANELY flat run tho like 200ft total elevation change over 16 miles #But at the same time.... Damn I still have it????#I was feeling kinda bleh the first couple of miles and then i was feeling good and then I checked my watch for the first time @8 #And then i was like. Hello???? Sub 10???? And then I guess i felt good and just kept doing that. Like?????#I thought about doing like another 4mi when I was like. Crossing the bridge I was like oh I could just go to the next one #And tbh i think my legs have it in me??#But would be a bizzare choice to go from a 12mi long run to like a TWENTY mile long run in like two weeks. I don't wanna get injured...#I really did have kind of a crappy running week (Killed my legs w/ 8 days on + hard frisbee game on horrid field Tues)#And i woke up with some ankle pain... But the run itself was amazinggggg #Exactly what I needed :)#I do need to actually register for my race and also. Make a training plan #Bc ive been fairly into my stats lately so... If i have one I might actually follow it....#ANYWAY!! /#BEAUTIFUL DAY!!! BEAUTIFUL RUN!!! HAPPY FRIDAY!!!!!!!!#MARATHON NO3 I'M COMING FOR U!!!!!!!!#Tetrapod runs #Jfjfjfj my other concern was fueling bc all I had was a cliff bar but it was tbh totally fine #I'm thinking of trying to reconsider how I've done long run fuel thus far but idk... We'll see!#Jfjfjfj this is the summer of fucking with my diet because I want to try new things I guess!!! But not TOO crazy obviously

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nexus-nebulae · 4 months

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i love that my physical therapist has told me exactly Why I'm getting so much pain and how to fix it (nerves getting trapped in too tight muscles) but man i hate that fixing the problem (stretches and massaging around the trapped nerve) takes So Long and so much patience

#I've been fighting my lower back and right shoulder and both biceps for weeks now #there's a specific spot in my lower back that repeatedly gets trapped #and my biceps have literally been like this for so damn long that i stopped registering the pain part #like it felt like my biceps were bruised 24/7 when i touched them but otherwise i didn't notice #until i realised that my muscles had gotten so tight they were just like. HARD. like you know when you flex and they get stiff #it was just like that Always i still have a large section that's still wound up even though I've been trying to loosen it for weeks #most of it is better and it's not Hard and doesn't feel like a bruise as much but it still needs. a lot of work #most of this is from stress and trauma i just physically lost the ability to relax #(so hey if you feel like you have similar issues. get a muscle scraper tool and maybe do some yoga it Genuinely helps A Lot)#the spots that feel bumpy or gravelly are tight muscles and the places that feel like bruises are usually trapped nerves #at least that's what I've been told #just massage the muscle a bit with the scraper and do some stretches for that area and then ice it #the ice is important you need to make sure your muscles can recover properly from the strain of being moved after being so tightly wound #obligatory im not a doctor this is just the advice my physical therapist has given me and i just like to put information out there #in case someone like me just doesn't have the resources and knowledge to help themselves where they can #if i had learned these things sooner i might not have had some permanent nerve damage from all this #turns out your muscles can get tight enough that they eventually just kill your nerves a bit if it goes untreated for so long #and muscle damage that also happens

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eithernich · 7 months

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carsitter

#shattered my phone screen now every photo has shards of refracted light over my face #will finally be chopping off my hair in a few days after such a long spell of being too messed up and depressed to take care of it #hasn't been this long since i was a kid #it's so scraggly #my body dysmorphia makes it next to impossible to register what i look like these days though #which is why i'm scared to post these but i'm doing it anyway fuck it #i was deer in the headlightsing in that second pic idc if my eyes look offputting and lopsided it's part of my charm.#“and now i'm aaalllll alooone in carsit land my only home”#funny thing about what i was wearing here is the jacket is what i've always referred to as my crash jacket bc it looks so much like the #one james wears except his is a dark brown and has buttons #and then ofc my shirt reminds me of the deep blue pajamas he wears in the airport hospital. etc. i was ballarded out #but then you've got the stargate(esque) glasses and things start getting mixed up #anyway i can't really see myself might delete if i feel too scared about looking like animated roadkill....................................#self #00

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autistic-shaiapouf · 7 months

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Beginning to really wonder how much of my financial concern is manufactured and handed to me as opposed to something I'm genuinely concerned by

#bc like. i'm getting by just fine. i don't have anything to be reasonably worried about #but also when i was a kid my father would break down my mother's paycheck and basically explain how broke we were #and that May Have Affected Me Somewhat #as well as just. the way you consistently see the advice to just save! don't get takeout! necessities! and i'm not intent on living like #a monk nor am i intent on being on that grindset for financial gain #it's like i don't intrinsically care but i have so many messages given to me about how i need to care a lot and it puts me in a weird spot #i am simultaneously standing still and moving at mach speeds #i mean right now i just need a safety net while in between jobs; after that i need to save up to move out of state bc the uh #political situation and upcoming presidential election don't seem very sustainable for someone like me anymore #they weren't to begin with but i don't wanna stick around to see how bad it's gonna get #but it's like. okay and then what? save for what? going back to school i guess? idk #i feel like i keep asking myself what i'm trying to accomplish and keep trying to force myself to have answers #here and now when i have to be okay with taking things one step at a time instead of having everything here and now #it's simultaneously fine and terrible and i am holding two conflicting yet equal truths #i feel i may have a clearer head once i leave my current job. i'm trying to look but nothing feels appealing given how #burnt out i already feel. i dread going back into my workplace and i fear it's showing to the patients and i don't want that #i want a month off to rediscover who i am as a person outside of getting yelled at in retail and then pick something back up #could be feasible. genuinely could be. i need to sort out the health insurance aspect but. that's lowkey the plan?#to construct a financial safety net and then slam on the breaks for a while; see if i can strike up a deal with the staff about me #coming in for specific tasks bc we already know i'm quick and efficient with the inventory so i do have a little leverage #you know what. this is getting some of it off my chest and i'm starting to feel confident again lmao #i won't be doing weekends starting either next week or the week after so that's a start! i just think i want everything done right now #bc i'm afraid i won't have the chance again but i will. i definitely will #i just need to let myself get to that point; it's just the immense drain from the register work and the Everything that comes with retail #also having to accept that it's okay to leave this; there's not something wrong with me like. ''not being able to handle it'' or w/e #no mindfulness or detachment could've saved me; it was shit and i'm hitting the bricks and that's all there is to it #i've been thinking a lot about it all lately bc it's what's most prominent in my life rn of course #idk. pondering. introspecting. as i am wont to do #anyways if you've read all this you're a real mvp and i am kissing you on the hand #shai speaks

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sysig · 2 years

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Striped (Patreon)

Bonus:

Obviously I bought it! The collar is Slightly odd with a stitch down the center, like a very shallow V Neck, and it’s quite big on me lol, but it’s very workable! And so soft, like you wouldn’t believe. Very comfy!

Also, pretty sure I’ve talked about this before, but here’s a refresher: I always pick up any Lalaloopsy from any second-hand shop I find them in, being out of production and so inexpensive and so cute - I’m a casual collector ♥ I never expect to see them, so I’m always so excited when they’re there! I actually managed to get three this time, not only with their original clothes, but also their shoes! (Why are they always missing their shoes?) And you’ll never guess which ones, what they were wearing: