#i like to pretend i'm funny

[megabuild]

[wisdomofwinter]

Please laugh at my silly little joke

[seventh-district]

Making Incorrect H:SR Quotes Until I Run Out of (hopefully) Original Ideas - Pt. 3 - Random Screenshot Edition

[Pt. 1] [Pt. 2] [Pt. 4] [Pt. 5] [Pt. 6]

[arttsuka]

Some past fiddlestan? (Like Ford just went through the portal. He gone now. Past. Yk?)

The mystery misery yaoi

[groovygrub]

[doctor-disc0]

"Oh, you're trans? Are you mtf, ftm, mtnb, or ftnb?" Actually, I'm ftmtnbtftnbtmtnbtmtftxtnbtmtqtmftnbtmtfnbtmtxtmtmnbtmtnbtmtxtqtnbtmtfmnbtm-

In other words, I'm genderfluid

[iotnonii]

happy squilf to keep me sane after failing my physics final

[diabolicalworldwriter]

there's something sadly funny about the way that Kaladin goes into literally every situation thinking "Too bad I'm not cool anymore 😔"

I mean. I get it. Depression fucks your brain up and you feel detached from yourself and any skills you have or had. The PTSD and chronic fatigue are keeping him from doing things he once managed with far less effort. And it's rather impossible to feel like you can just... do things like you used to when you're struggling at a basic level to simply be.

Still, literally everyone who knows him is like "Kaladin you're so storming cool" and he goes "They're referring to the person I was, who is dead. I'll never be cool again. I'm sorry."

The most hilarious thing? He walks into these moments, thinking 'too bad', and then he does the most objectively amazing thing possible while everyone else just watches in awe.

Kaladin, three seconds after absolutely changing everyone's outlook on life: Aw, it's too bad the person I just was died again. Guess I have to find something else to be cuz I sure can't pull that off anymore.

[invye]

When They Are Drunk

(as observed by the Red Hair Pirates)

I forever love when we let the Red Hair Pirates interact with the mess that is their captain and his relationship(s), so here have some lenghty thoughts about Shanks, Mihawk and Rosinante interacting with the Red Hair Pirates while drunk in my CoraMiShanks Fix It AU under the cut:

Shanks

The Captain being drunk is neither a rare ocurrance nor a particularly interesting one. They've seen it all within a week of getting recruited, including the hour long rambles about how much he misses Hawkeyes even though they literally duelled each other two days ago. 

The Red Hair Pirates have long since established a system for when they are among people on land or otherwise have guests on the Red Force, where the crew takes turns and one or two people remain sober on Captain watch duty; much to the eternal gratitude of Benn who has wrangled a drunk and poetry waxing Shanks way too often for his poor nerves and approaches it with an practiced aura of exasperation.

The one thing however that adds some fun to the mix is that after the captain finishes his hour rant about how much he loves Mihawk's creepy unblinking eyes, he turns his overflowing sentimentality on the rest of the crew. 

His chosen 'victim' would be sitting there, minding their business when suddenly there's the captain's arm around their shoulders and he slurs a monologue of compliments about their skills and abilities and gratitude for all the things they do for the crew. And during that genuinely nice and flattering monologue he'd sway closer until - boom - it's too late, they're in smooch range now and no one is safe from the Captain's Appreciation Smooches.

It used to be somewhat of a rite of passage, back when Shanks was still actively recruiting. The day a new crew member got thier first Appreciation Smooch from their drunk captain was the day they became fully and irrevocably a part of the crew.

There is a rank list hanging in the galley on the Red Force, ranking the crew members by the number of smooches they have recieved from the captain. Benn is so far in the lead, no one will ever catch up to him, but the rest of the list is surprisingly balanced, as if there actually is a system to the captain's drunk madness that informs him whom of the crew he hasn't complimented and properly expressed his appreciation for in a while.

They considered adding Hawkeyes to the list after the first time he was subjected to the Appreciation Smooch, simply to watch how long it would take for him to climb the ranks and actually overtake Benn (and because his wide-eyed expression of utter surprise and confusion was beyond hilarious). Eventually they decided against it, because while the captain still hasn't figured out the list's meaning, they're fairly certain Hawkeyes would within mere hours of finding his own name on it.

Mihawk

After all these years, Hawkeyes still manages to be an enigma to most of the crew, despite having seen him around plenty. During the times where Mihawk was actively duelling the captain, they could count the passing weeks by the sound of Mihawk's boots on the deck and his grumbles of "Red Hair promised to shut up if I joined for a drink;" every Sunday like clockwork.

But even though they have seen Mihawk drink plenty (always and only expensive red wine that the captain stashes seperately just for Hawkeyes), they have barely ever seen him drunk. Even Benn, who has known Hawkeyes pretty much as long as he's known the captain, only somewhat understands what happens behind his unblinking eyes, and he does have the somewhat regular 'honour' of Mihawk sitting next to him as they sip their wine in silence, because Hawkeyes had quickly determined that Benn is the only person on board with good taste. It's a weird form of bonding, the total silence vaguely uncomfortable to observe, but the captain gets all mushy and happy about Hawkeyes engaging with the crew (even if its technically only Benn), so they suppose it's good enough.

None of them are ready for it when at some point a switch is flipped in Mihawk's brain and he decides that the Red Force is a proper safe place. Hawkeyes allows himself to get drunk, and while he's still eerily silent and prone to staring into the void, he starts emoting. Ever so slightly, little smiles, mostly directed at Shanks. 

Lucky Roux is the first with the questionable luck of experiencing an expression of appreciation (maybe even friendship..?) from Hawkeyes. He was going around handing out little snacks to mitigate the incoming hangovers, when he walked up to Mihawk leaning against the reiling a little away from the rest of the bustle, to hand him a sandwich and encourage him to actually eat it too. Next thing he knew those yellow eyes were staring right into his soul, a hand resting on his shoulder for full two seconds of contact and Mihawk told him a quiet but genuine "thank you" before going back to staring into the void and nibbling on his sandwich.

By the time Lucky Roux was sitting back down and staring into his own drink again, he still hadn't managed to shake off the cold shiver caused by Hawkeyes' intensity, even though it was an unquestionably positive interaction. Lucky Roux gets the Captain's Appreciation Smooch that night, because of course Shanks saw that and is unreasonably happy about it.

Corazón/Rosinante

Honestly, the Red Hair Pirates still haven't quite understood how Corazón entered the whole *gestures* Situation that is the relationship involving the Captain and Hawkeyes. He's shown up one day in Haweyes' company and now he's here in all his clumsy glory, having the best of times chatting with the captain, while Hawkeyes gives them both the same sappy stare. The crew supposes its a net good and respects Rosinante's request to be called by his name rather than title as they incorporate him into the rounds of drinks.

Rosinante only ever drinks a single drink if his kid is with him. (And boy does the kid have opinions; he once prognosed when exactly he expects the captain to die of liver failure down to the month, which was only made more horrifying by Hongo solemnly nodding along in the background. At least Hongo had then continued to explain that he already had been slipping the captain a regimen of meds to prevent just that for years.)

As the kid grows older and is less present however, Rosinante allows himself to indulge. Turns out for all his clumsiness, he mixes the most amazing cocktails.

Speaking of his clumsiness, they still haven't figured out if drunk Rosinante is more or less clumsy than usual. They have seen him fully drunk walk a perfectly straight line, only to stumble over literally nothing and take a perfect swan dive right into the next group of people. At least once he's down, he stays down. Most of the time draped over at least three different laps, slurring out endless apologies, but not making a move to leave. They've quickly understood that Rosinante has been severely lacking positive physical contact in his life and let him stay where he is until Mihawk or the captain pick him up eventually. If they tried to move they supposed Rosinante would too and that would only result in another round of spilled drinks. Also they can't help but admit that Rosinante's presence is somehow calming and comfortable, so no harm done.

the end of the night

No matter what, a night of drinking would inevitable end with the captain, Hawkeyes and Rosinante piled in a heap in the corner. The captain happily snoring away, Hawkeyes somehow managing to lean against the next wall all proper and cool looking in his sleep, arms crossed and hat pulled down over his eyes (no one will ever point out that he drools for fear of death), Rosinante curled over them both like a very oversized cat, his feather coat doubling as a blanket.

Seeing them, the Red Hair Pirates are happy that things turned out like this. They all are maybe a bit too aware of just how dangerous a world they are living in, and just how close they've all come to death before.

Hey, by the way, when has anyone last checked in on the kid? Didn't Rosinante say something about Law recruiting himself a crew of his own? How's that going?

[anotherfandomtrash]

Blackbright shippers: no, Bobby is fine. He is fine and alive! Nothing bad ever happened to him. He is FINE. See, he's with Simon doing investigations with him! You don't understand. See, they are holding hands! He's fine! HE'S FINE! *starts to break into tears*

Phantomquill shippers:

[cara-warm-tenderness]

I'm sorry if anyone else's done something similar, but also fuck it

[dawnofiight]

Guy after DEFINITELY not being a virgin.

[minzart]

Btw I loved krypto the superdog animation and the hyenas with bathound where, unsurprisingly, my favorites

[utilitycaster]

You know what's interesting to me? For all people keep claiming at every juncture that perhaps Bells Hells will come around on the gods and see the harm they do (which, as discussed extensively, is, half the time, simply not intervening) not only have they never done so, but also they never quite cross the line into saying the party should join the Ruby Vanguard or aid them - and indeed, they defend against it - so what does this achieve? It feels like they're asking for a story in which the party stands idly by, which isn't much of a story nor, if I may connect this briefly to the real world, a political stance anyone should be proud of.

That's honestly the frustration with the gods and the "what if the Vanguard has a point" conversations in-game. What do we do then? Do we allow the organization that will murder anyone for pretty much any reason that loosely ties into their goals run rampant? The group that (perhaps unwittingly, but then again, Otohan's blades had that poison) disrupted magic world-wide, and caused people who had the misfortune to live at nexus points to be teleported (most, as commoners, without means of return). While also fomenting worldwide unrest?

Those were the arguments before the trip to Ruidus; with the reveal of the Vanguard's goals to invade Exandria, the situation becomes even more dire. Do you let the Imperium take over the planet?

And do the arguments against the gods even hold up? If Ludinus is so angry at them for the Calamity, what does it say that he destroyed Western Wildemount's first post-Calamity society for entirely selfish means? (What does it say about the validity of vengeance as a motivator?) What does it say that Laudna told Imogen she could always just live in a cottage quietly without issue before the solstice even happened? (Would this still be true if the Imperium controls the world?) What does it say that when faced with a furious, grieving party and the daughter she keeps telling herself was her reason for all of this, Liliana can't provide an answer to the question of what the gods have done other than that their followers will retaliate...for, you know, the Vanguard's endless list of murders. (That is how the Vanguard and Imperium tend to think, huh? "How dare your face get in the way of my boot; how dare you hit me back when I strike you.") She can't even provide a positive answer - why is Predathos better - other than "I feel it", even though Imogen and Fearne know firsthand that Predathos can provide artificial feelings of elation. Given all the harm Ludinus has done in pursuit, why isn't the conclusion "the gods should have crashed Aeor in such a way that the tech was unrecoverable?"

Even as early as the first real discussion on what the party should do, the fandom always stopped short of saying "no, Imogen's right, they should join up with the people who killed half the party," it was always "no, she didn't really mean it, she just was trying to connect with her mother." Well, she's connected with her mother, and at this point the party doesn't even care about the gods particularly (their only divinely-connected party member having died to prevent the Vanguard from killing all of them). So they will stop the Vanguard; as Ashton says, the means are unforgiveable. As Laudna says, it's not safe to bet on Predathos's apathy. As Imogen says, she's done running; the voice that she used to think of as a lifeline belongs to someone she doesn't trust. So I guess my question is: if they're stopping the people who are trying to kill the gods (and defense of the gods isn't remotely their personal motivation)...do you think the next phase of the campaign is Bells Hells personally killing the gods? Reconstructing the Aeor tech and hoping none of their allies notice? How does this end? Does your ideology ever get enacted? Or is this entirely moot and pointless and the story ends with Bells Hells saying "well, I'm really glad we stopped the people who [insert list of Vanguard atrocities from above]; none of us follow the gods or plan to, but honestly, the status quo we return to is preferable to whatever nightmare Ludinus had concocted in his violent quest for power and revenge"?

[legovasavouchi]

chillin

[lifewillalwaysbe-lavieenrose]

Have you heard that Hozier song ??